#and then hop on the computer and print some shit

[weaselle]

do you realize what a skill it is to take a written order as a table server?

Like, go ahead have a friend say four sentences and you write it at the same time they're saying it and see if you don't stand there SO UNCOMFORTABLY for a very long minute after they're done, scribbling and asking them to repeat parts.

Plus there has to be so much translation and organization, and just.

so basically every server comes up with their own shorthand, their own little code, altho some restaurants do have the servers all use the same shorthand code

And you have to rework your code every restaurant you work at.

So like, if you order a large caesar salad, with light dressing, and chicken on the side with no croutons? i'ma write:

SA L c no crt Lt/D chx s

but the last "s" is gonna have a circle around it like it's inside an "o" because that's how i write "on the side" and it makes it stand out so i don't forget or confuse it and i like the way it kind of looks like a birdseye view of a side of something in a ramekin, like a little pictogram :)

Starting every salad order with the notation for Salad and writing the SA large and making "on side" a symbol lets me scan the ticket for specific info easily, which is also why the slash is between the "light" and the "dressing" -- i usually put a slash for dressing, (like, ranch dressing would be r/D and no dressing would be no/D) because the slash and big D makes them easy to pick out of a block of text and i want to be able to see all the dressings at once clearly with a casual visual sweep when i am, for example, picking up my salads and checking to make sure the right dressings are with the right salads (which you always have to do because salads is more complicated than you'd think and you're likely to catch a wrong dressing several times a night if you check for them before letting your table find out they did it wrong).

Now any of how i write that order might change depending on things. For example one place i worked had a couple chicken salads and the kitchen did the chicken for them, so when you put the ticket in the computer it was helpful for them if you put the chicken instructions before anything else about the salad. I got used to putting it that way on my written ticket as i took the order to help me have an easy time at the computer while i worked there, and stopped doing it in that order when i left that restaurant. But the order is often about helping you tell the computer what to print in the kitchen.

Which you have to be fast at. Most restaurants only have like two or three terminals that servers can use to put in orders, and there's often like 8 servers all trying to use them. So you can't sit there and delete the salad order and re-enter it to put the chicken first and then try to remember how to do the other things you need to do on every order you have, because your coworkers will all be pissed at you, as their collective 15 tables wait extra time for you to get your shit together on the terminal and their tips dwindle down by the minute. You gotta be able to put an order into a terminal like it's about to explode if you don't do it fast enough and let the next server hop on it while you hurry to pour the drinks you're already late bringing out.

There is no time to like stand in line for it, either. If it's in use you go do one of the fifty other things you're already late for, and sometimes that means you go take anther order from a different table. That's dicey, because if you're not careful you'll have tables next to each other getting their food in the opposite order they sat, and that's never great. Or gods forbid the terminal is in use a few times in a row that you try to use it, you'll wind up at a terminal putting in 5 tables at once, which makes things hell on the kitchen staff and takes forever to punch in, all while other servers anxiously wait for you to be done hoping the same thing doesn't happen to them

And it's always some weird confusing choose-your-own-adventure system of menus and screens on there. Like, all the dressings and sauces and toppings might be on one screen and it's a different screen than the one that you punch in the salad on, so you have to flip between them to order salads or whatever. Shit like that ... plus you have to learn a new one every restaurant; this one may work with a series of drop down options, that one may use, like, clickable folder tags around the edges of the screen to go from options list to options list.

I worked this one pizza place where the server terminals were some OLD bullshit and the pizza toppings were just numbers. That you had to memorize. So you could punch them in without doing a where's waldo marathon with the toppings cheat sheet. There were 37 toppings. 41 when i stopped working there, altho to put in Feta wasn't a topping number you had to go to the salad menu and select "add fetta" from there.

I still remember a lot of the topping numbers. Like, if you ordered a large, extra cheese, salami, mushroom, pepperoni, olive and sausage pizza, it would be a

Lg xtr 1, 9, 8, 4, 7, 11

(that's the exact order the pizza guys will put them on the pizza btw, which helps them not miss a topping accidentally -- there's a logic to the order things go on a pizza, and if you write it all out of order it makes it real hard on the pizza makers to keep track of it while they're making it. I think some computer systems now auto-reorder toppings with they print them to the pizza section which is nice, but we used to try to do that for them as servers) I've used some of those numbers ever since. Cheese in particular permanently became "1" on my tickets, because i was already used to it and it's so much quicker than "chz" to write.

Of course the ticket layout is important -- I write the orders for the table as top to bottom = left to right. This means even if the person in the middle insists on ordering first, i write their order halfway down the space. Uh, i mean the top Line is for table number and number of people, and the the top Space is for drinks, and then the next forth of the ticket is for apps, and then the next space is for entrees, and then the last space is for any desserts, add ons, notes, or extras.

So if i say "shall we start with you" to my left but the person straight ahead of me orders their salad first anyway, i'm still writing their salad halfway down the "apps space" near the top of my ticket. Sometimes you have to bring your own note pad, in which case, depending on the vibe of the place, i often try to steal printer paper from the tiny little manager office crammed into some kitchen closet like every restaurant has, and cut their office paper into strips to use, because fuck making me buy my own paper to do this job.

Anyway, if you write your little code in the wrong order on the ticket, it makes it harder to punch it in the terminal quickly, so if I do get it in the wrong order, i do like a little swoopy line from it to the correct position. Say someone waits until everyone is done ordering and then says "oh can i have my chicken on the side of my salad" I have to write "chx os" at the end of the salad notation, but i would do a line like a big parenthesis on its back underneath the salad order, connecting "chx os" to the place i would have preferred to write it.

This way, after taking some dirty dishes from the dining room to the dish pit, checking with the kitchen about my other tables while i'm back there, pouring a drink order because other servers are using both terminals, and checking in with the salad section for a table that's getting impatient... when you're finally at a free terminal entering the order, these lines and you don't type the salad instructions in, get to the end, and have to delete it and type it back in with "chicken on the side" in the right place.

I actually don't know how many other servers use these sort of lines or item order, like i said, every server has to come up with their own code. Me, I draw lines to edit. This kind of thing makes my tickets often turn out with quite a few circles and lines and squiggles and stuff, which all indicate specific things But ideally not, ideally i get it written without all the extra drawing

So as a server, it's easiest to try make sure you can write everything down in the order you use at the computer so you wait til they say the whole thing. Or at least, because it is how your personal code works vs. all the ways people say the things they order, you often let the guest get the whole salad order out before you start to put it on your ticket.

And then you write it in your secret code while listening to their entree order. Which you might write in your little cypher while someone else is telling you their salad order. :)

However you do it, you have to do it all at the speed of speech, which is pretty damn fast.

Anyway, it's just a thing servers do, that i never really see talked about much. We all have our little codes we use to write your orders. And it takes a fair amount of skill.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[emogigi]

clearing the puck!

pairing: hockey player!haechan x fem!reader

genre: a fluffly crackfic w a bit of angst? i guess lol

word count: 1.5k (for now..)

synopsis: you befriend the school’s star hockey player in order to get some votes on your student council campaign, and in return, he asks for praise on your newest journal column to impress some scouts. what a friendly deal, right? …right?

author’s note: hey everyone! this is my first ever fic here and i couldn’t be more excited !! this is just a little wip of what could possibly become my biggest work … just to test the waters lmao if you have any tips PLEASE let me know since i actually hate how this is written! anyways i hope u like this bit! ♡

warning(s): none, for now

"Please stop shaking your legs. You're making the entire table move." Renjun gives you a nasty look, and you roll your eyes. You shake your legs even faster, just to push at his buttons a little harder. "Ugh— Stop that!"

"Maybe if you guys were helping me prepare, I wouldn't be so nervous!" You let out an angry huff as you stared at your computer screen, which was blindingly bright. Why are you still insisting on using light mode? Stupid student council elections and stupid columnist work. What use was it if you couldn't even complete a stupid campaign work?

"Y'know it's no use if you're a loner, right?" Chenle perks up from the other side of the room, his body strewn on a spinning chair as he turns around in your direction. He doesn't even dare to look up from his phone, his thumbs messily pressing against the screen. Was he playing Clash of Clans again? "You kinda have to be popular to gain votes. And, contrary to popular belief, I don’t do miracles.

"What do you mean? I'm popular!" You scoff in disbelief, looking over to Renjun for moral support, but he simply shakes his head. Huang Renjun, you are useless.

"Writing a column for our college journal doesn't make you popular."

You grunt in frustration, dropping your head to your keyboard. You let out a long sigh before slamming both of your hands on the table and looking up. The loud crash startles both boys, and they glance at you with wide eyes. "Fine. What do you suggest?"

Chenle and Renjun look at each other and back at you, and you swear there’s a mischievous glint behind their eyes.

You’re never listening to them again. Especially if it’s fucking freezing outside!

You let out a sigh that quickly transforms into a puff of cold air as you look around, spotting the banner hung up above the building entrance. “66 LEE DONGHYUCK — THE NCIT DINOSAURS STAR CENTER” with his face nicely printed on the side. Inspecting his face, you almost laugh at the stupidity of the plan. Befriending the school’s star hockey player in order to socially thrive. Well, befriending is a strong word. You would be offering him a friendly deal, that’s for sure. And it’s not like he would be leaving empty-handed. It’s a win-win situation.

You sucked in a deep breath between your teeth before walking straight into the ice rink. You could hear shouting and the sound of the puck sliding neatly across the ice. It didn’t even take you long to notice your target. You watched him for a while. He’s obviously a natural, every move purposeful and graceful. No wonder he was the team’s star.

You quickly look away when you notice yourself staring. Shit.

Figuring it would be better to just wait until practice was over, you hopped on the grandstands, next to a group of 3 girls that you recognized from around the campus. They were wearing the team’s classic red and blue jersey with a big “66” plastered at the front.

You jumped in your seat with their hysterical screaming, quickly turning your head back to the rink. Donghyuck was planted by the fence, looking up at the benches, winking and flashing his infamous cocky smirk at the girls. You could swear that his gaze lingered on yours for a while, but you shook your head, dismissing the thought. As he finally moved away, the girl sitting directly next to you still shook her arms to get his attention.

Practice went by surprisingly fast, much to your dismay. The coach whistled and next thing you notice, the team was already off the ice. Everyone around patted Donghyuck on the back and sang praise at the boy, who just grinned. A slightly taller, and what appeared older guy, swiftly threw his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder, revealing the back of his jersey. “MARK, 2”. You couldn’t distinctly understand what they were saying but you could only assume that he was teasing the blonde, the way Donghyuck seemed to sulk at his words. As Mark started pushing Donghyuck to walk away to the locker room, you panic, afraid to miss your shot to talk to the blonde.

“LEE DONGHYUCK!” Your shout reverberates all throughout the rink. Your survival instincts really took over this one. Good work on first impressions! You feel your cheeks heat up as all eyes are now on you. You both stare at each other with wide eyes. How you wished you could just dig the biggest hole on the ground to hide yourself forever.

“Uh, yes?” He asks reluctantly, looking around as if he wasn’t the only Lee Donghyuck there. “Can I help you?”

“Uhm— Yes! I need to talk to you.” You internally curse at yourself for stuttering so much. “Alone. If— If that’s alright.”

Mark, who still stood next to his friend, looks over at him. Donghyuck nods at the rest of the team and gives off some kind of excuse, sending them on their way. They reluctantly walk away, leaving you both alone by the grandstands.

You feel your stomach turn as you watch him approach you, practice bag messily thrown over his shoulder.

“What’s up?” He’s rather calm for someone who just got shouted at by a complete stranger.

You gulp. Is this really a good idea? He notices your hesitation and raises his eyebrows, gesturing for you to talk.

“Well— This is going to sound really weird… But we need to be friends from now on.”

He freezes in his spot, obviously taken aback by your offer. He looks at you with a confused frown until something clicks in his head. His pursed lips curve into a smile and he scoffs at you. “Look, I get it if you have a crush on me, but you’re horrible at this.”

What? You quickly wave your hands dismissively in front of him, shaking your head. “That’s not it!”

“Then what is it?”

You sigh and stare back at him, shit-eating smirk plastered on his face. Well, you asked for it, Lee Donghyuck.

“As you probably don’t know, the student council elections are coming up and I’m running for president. The problem is that, according to my friends, I’m not “popular” enough to get voted on. And since you’re probably the most popular person in this school, if I become friends with you, I’ll be popular by association, which means I might actually have a shot at the elections. Obviously, I know that this is a weird request but we can make some sort of deal — If you’re up for it.” After a completely venting (and probably rapping) at him, Donghyuck stares at you dumbfounded. Great, now you scared him.

Seeing the look on his face, a wave of failure washes over you and suddenly you’re rethinking everything. You knew this was a stupid plan for the start. Oh, Huang Renjun. You were going to kill him! You have embarrassed yourself astronomically and now you could say goodbye to your dear presidential spot—

“Okay.”

Okay? “Okay?”

“Sure. Why not?” You look at him with a mixture of disbelief and confusion and he just shrugs. “Plus, you said that we could make a deal.” Of course. He was only interested because he was getting something out of it. You’re a smart man, Lee Donghyuck.

“Yeah— sure. Do you have anything in mind?” He seems to stop for a moment, briefing on what to say. You look at him impatiently, tapping your fingers rhythmically against your arm.

“You write a column for the school’s journal, right? Isn’t it something like… “Like It Is”? Yeah, that’s it.”

“How did you— Whatever. What do you need?” His smirk grows bigger as he stares back at you.

“We have a few NHL scouts coming over for the playoffs.” He crosses his arms. “To add up to my amazing playing skills, I need you to write a column about me. Y’know, to impress them.”

“And what makes you think that they’ll listen to me?”

“Because you actually write things as they are.” He sniffs. “You have an honest reputation around the school. They’ll believe you.” You ponder.

“Well, I–” Donghyuck quickly turns around as someone calls out his name.

“As much as I would love to continue our lovely convo, I have to go. Lovely seeing you, (---).” He prepares to walk away but quickly turns back. “You have my Insta, right?” You simply nod in response and he smiles, finally walking to the locker room.

“Bye bye, my sweetheart!”

“Wait, Donghyuck— That’s not—!”

Before you can say anything, you’re all alone in the rink.

[gard3nias]

12| The butterfly, the cricket and the wing-man

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wc: 4.49k

date: 31/08/2024

mdi // masterlist // playlist

—Now playing: Wild at heart by Lana Del Rey ✫

The dancing queens didn't stop dancing: they eventually listened to every ABBA vinyl record the bright curly-headed dancing queen owned on her shelf because her wavy-haired bibliophile dancing queen of a friend couldn’t help herself—but she was helping the bright curly-headed dancing queen without even knowing.

Ultimately, the latter’s father went back to his workshop. Hopped, to be exact.

At the same time, the bus drove past their neighbourhood, heading for its terminal. It was a matter of time before it passed a big grey gate, turning left to its last stop. 

Behind the tall metal gate was a stone path leading to a light-brown house in the centre of a big plot. Its owners often aren’t around, at least not as much as their child, their only heir who was now there with her friends. They were shared across the house, apparently according to their genders but, really, they were working. Yeah, while the dancing queens were going at it in the bright curly-headed one’s living room and had recently dismissed a study hangout, the heir and her friends were working, preparing for the upcoming weeks of the campaign.

—Now playing: Friends by BTS ✫

Adrielle and Avyanna moved rooms, from the kitchen to the living room, giving the chef space to prepare dinner. The two senior high school students were working on the cheerleading team they wanted to create for the school’s basketball team. They were as busy as their guy friends completing their tasks a few meters away in the study room on the main floor. Unlike the girls, they were a lot more unserious especially because among them was Jungkook who decided to take on the role of the comedian of the group causing his friends to laugh nonstop.

Their task was to create the flyers so now they were browsing the internet, looking for inspiration and judging the ones they didn’t find fit or appealing. If Adrielle were to be there with them, she would’ve regretted even mentally objecting to Jungkook’s statement about not wanting to participate in what he considered the ‘boring’ part of this operation because indeed he wasn’t fit for it.

Jimin was at the computer, Taehyung had scribbled a little nothing on a piece of paper while Jungkook was slightly bent over between the two, leaning on the back of Jimin’s chair.

—Now playing: Boys with fun by BTS ✫

“Gosh! This has the potential of being an ad for condoms!” he exclaimed, pointing at the screen while Taehyung leaned closer and Jimin scrunched his face. “What the fuck? How so?”

”Like… look at the decorations. They are so disgusting they make you hate babies and therefore having them as well,” he causally explained, causing Jimin’s face to scrunch even more and Taehyung to simply laugh, expressing his confusion differently.

“It literally has the look of the aftermath of a baby swallowing a unicorn and having terrible indigestion only to throw up rainbows and shit glittery cupcakes,” he explained even further, pointing at the screen as he did so.

“What the fuck?” Taehyung wholeheartedly laughed, “You have a very creative mind up there, Jungkook”

“Please, Kook. Shut up. We’re supposed to be printing the flyers out by now—” Jimin firmly spoke after failing to derive some sense from all that.

“Woah, woah, woah, woah. Hold on there. I thought they told us to look for templates, not fully take over the creation. Or did we suddenly forget that we’re working with Adrielle, Adrielle Hawthorne? The Adrielle Hawthorne and not some buggy doppelganger?”

“Jungkook, oh my, God. They are just flyers, it’s not that serious—”

“Fuck yes, it is. Y’all forgot who I’m talking about? We’ve worked with her on various school projects, simple school projects, and she can be not just a stick in the fucking ass but a full plank. In fact, this girl sets your whole ass on fire. Fucking fireworks out of your asshole. New Year's night typa shit.” His friends couldn’t help but laugh at his hilarious and dramatic description of their friend.

“Showing her the ideas is going to let you sleep well at night?”

“Hell yeah. Imagine going to bed only to dream about having your ass on fire, fireworks in your asshole that pop with every fucking little detail that gives Adrielle the ick. Ooh, fuck. I’m already getting goosebumps—”

“Oh shut up. Let’s look for the templates then. Can’t have you knocking on my bedroom door at night asking to share the bed because you had nightmares,” they laughed and changed focus to browse the internet further, looking for the right templates but even then, Jungkook couldn’t keep quiet or stay focused. “You know… originally, I had never signed up for this—”

“And originally, I thought speaking was just a right and not a fucking duty so shut the fuck up,” Jimin spoke, keeping his eyes on the screen as he typed away at the computer.

“Jeez! What has you behaving like this? When was the last time you let loose and fucked? Or do you miss making out with your pizza dough? —”

“Oh, my God, Jungkook!” Taehyung was back to laughing loudly while Jimin simply rolled his eyes and did nothing to suppress the smile on his face.

“What? Did I lie? He probably hasn’t fucked a girl in so long so is starting to sound like one, Adrielle to be precise—”

“Hey, man. I’m not like you. I’m not interested in Adrielle,”

“Never said you were—”

“But the way you said it makes it easy to make the connection,”

“There he goes again, interrupting my speech—”

“Your speech?!” Jungkook pointed at Jimin as he looked at Taehyung because his point had just been proven, “You’re barely making any coherent sense so what speech are you talking about!—”

“You know? That party I wanted to host at mine? Jimin you’re so invited. In fact, you’re the first one on my guest list and I’ll underline your name in red as in ‘in great and urgent need of pussy’—” Taehyung’s loud laugh broke through the room as Jimin hit back with: “I’m always invited to your parties regardless—”

“Yeah, but this one is urgent. The last time you were turned on was maybe this morning after watching food porn—” Jungkook had to complete his sentence so he could dodge Jimin’s punch on the shoulder as they both laughed. Taehyung, on the other hand, had stopped laughing loudly and was now squirming as he silently laughed in his chair.

“You know? Don’t ever come to me looking for food. I’ll fucking starve you,” Jimin jokingly warned before sitting back down, “And why do think I need pussy?”

“Because pussy is awesome. Literally, pussy equals a great time, so yeah, you’re in dire need of it ‘cause you sound like an old man who’s working in a factory all his life.” Jimin simply facepalmed himself while taehyung was doing breathing exercises because he’s been laughing for too long and his abs seemed to be permanently and painfully contracted.

“Okay, okay, but, jokes aside, y’all are with me in the party thingy, right?” and his friends agreed, unaware that this party wasn’t just a way for Jungkook to get drunk, high on cigarettes or on sex. Jungkook wanted to hook his friend up with the special girl who’d been clouding his mind and have the two of them enclosed in a space even smaller than their school so they could meet and possibly talk.

“When will it be? Have you decided yet?” Taehyung continued, turning around to face who he’d just spoken to. “During the campaign weeks. I don’t know exactly when but probably this Friday or next. Which one would be better?”

“Do however you wish. You have exactly a month,” Jimin reassured, fingers typing away on the keyboard.

Jungkook didn’t want to rush it. The party wouldn’t be all about drinks, music and one-night stands. He needed it to be good enough to buy votes but also give enough space for Taehyung to shoot his shot. He’d have to help both Adrielle and Taehyung get what they want. Adrielle, the position and Taehyung, a chat with his crush.

“So, I changed my mind and I think I’ll be inviting only students over sixteen. Wouldn’t want to claim responsibility for irresponsible fourteen-year-olds, you know. And second, I have my age limit when it comes to hooking up, so…” he winked, gaining a disgusted look from Jimin who snapped his head back to look at him.

“Don’t lie to yourself because the last thing a drunken Jungkook is going to remember at a party is asking the age of the girl he’s about to fuck—”

“Oh, great heavens. Why do y’all keep painting me as this disgusting predator or something?”

“I never said that you are but I know for sure that if you find interest in someone, be them ten years older than you or not, you wouldn’t know. Would never know,” and Taehyung chuckled, agreeing with Jimin and watching the baffled expression on Jungkook’s face.

“All the parties I go to have people around my age and I’ve never gone above and hooked up with someone younger than me with more than two years. Like… I’m trying to have a good time, not a tutoring session!” he exclaimed, getting a bit frustrated. “I’m not a disgusting type of person—”

“Yeah, I mean… at the end of the day, you always hook up with the same girls, so yeah, I get where you’re coming from,” Taehyung butted in. “The town’s small,” Jungkook simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Man whore!” Taehyung jokingly mocked before taking off and running out of the room with Jungkook sprinting right behind him, screaming: “Just because you don’t blab about your hook-ups as much as I do doesn’t mean you’re any different!”

The screams took the girls by surprise as they turned around to look at the commotion but soon went back to work, paying them no attention.

“Will he ever stop talking about sex? It’s like he’s always in heat, jeez,” Adrielle mumbled to herself and her friend who simply rolled her eyes.

“So… I could lead the team because I’m good at gymnastics and just dancing in general, so that’s covered,” Avyanna said, going back to what they were doing and looking at what Adrielle was writing on her blue ring binder.

“Yeah. That would be perfect. How would you be doing the auditions?”

“Ooh. Oh, my God. I don’t know right now. I’d have to watch a few teenage movies before I can answer that,” she seriously replied but Adrielle chuckled and reassured her that she had three weeks to come up with everything.

“How will you be going about the garden with Nana?”

“I haven’t shown her my plan yet. I will tomorrow and, according to what she says, we proceed,” Avyanna nodded before her serious demeanour vanished for a split second as Jungkook and Taehyung ran all the way back to the living room. Precisely Taehyung jumped across the coffee table and was now at one end of the sofa while Jungkook was on the other.

“When will y’all be serious for once?” Adrielle sighed, looking at her childish friends.

“He’s trying to tickle me to death—”

“And he called me a man whore,” Jungkook replied back, eyes transfixed on the friend he wanted to catch. 

“I mean, is he wrong?” Avyanna replied, turning a bit on her left to look at Jungkook whose eyes finally changed focus. “What? Why?”

“You only talk about sex… or parties which implies you’ll be getting laid eventually,” she explained. In the meantime, Taehyung was mentally thanking her for distracting him and giving him space and time to make his final escape.

“And so what?”

“That’s what a manwhore is.”

“I be bagging them girls because of this pretty face and my charming ways, baby. Not my fault. It’s in my nature,” he boasted, smirking at Avyanna as she rolled her eyes and Adrielle mumbled: “Humble much” to herself.

“Why are y’all suddenly behaving like I’m this big bad guy that mocks everyone?—”

“You literally said I jerk off to food porn a few minutes ago!” Jimin exclaimed as he got out of the office.

“What?!”

“You did?!” the girls laughed while Jungkook proudly agreed, claiming the title.

“Okay, that was a good one—”

“Good what? Avyanna!” Jimin exclaimed.

“Get your ass back here!” Jungkook yelled as he saw Taehyung running at the speed of light right behind Jimin. In the meantime, Adrielle was still laughing her ass out at Jungkook’s joke.

“Adrielle, fuck you like… seriously… fuck you so bad—”

“I’m sorry…” she apologised laughing now both at the joke and Jimin’s facial expression.

“Keep your apologies to yourself!” he dramatically pouted and feigned crying as he left the room and went back to the office. Not without screaming, hoping that Taehyung and Jungkook would come back so they could finish the work.

The girls simply went back to what they were doing.

—Now playing: Telepathy by BTS ✫

So… in the end, Taehyung and Jimin do not function when Jungkook is around—honestly, nobody does—so Adrielle had to join in because dinner time was inching closer and closer and the boys were nowhere close to finishing—they hadn’t finished the flyers yet. And this wasn’t good news to Adrielle who was already feeling the competition from the other running teams.

Avyanna had just finished setting up their instagram profile with a nice colour theme and a nicely-made logo which would end up on their final presentation. The only thing missing were the pictures of every member of the team with their specified role in the group.

“So, how would we go about for the pictures and when shall I upload them?” she asked, poking her head into the office to meet the backs of her friends and Jungkook spread out on a chair, typing away on his phone.

“I’m making a list for my party. Don’t say I’m playing around,” he immediately explained, looking at her for a split second before going back to the device. Avyanna just rolled her eyes, not giving a single fuck about what he said or what he was doing at all.

“Oh, Avyanna. Erm, I don’t really know,” Adrielle was still back-facing her friend as she responded, too busy on the computer.

“I’ll never understand how you know how to use Canva so well. Like… what the fuck?” Jimin admired the work on the computer, looking at Adrielle like a kid looking at a magician.

“It’s Adrielle, Jimin. She’s good at everything basically,” Avyanna simply replied, moving closer to the group. Taehyung was sitting next to Adrielle with his chin resting on his hands and eyes transfixed on every little detail his friend worked on.

“Look at you all silent. You could help us with the pics,” she proceeded, now referring to Taehyung. Despite her call for his attention, he didn’t reply, just smiled and went back to looking at the screen.

“Hey! Are you doubting your skills or something because, as far as I’m concerned, you’re fucking amazing, Tae,”

“Yeah, you’re awesome.” Jimin butted in while Jungkook’s attention finally moved away from his phone to know who was receiving all these compliments.

“Yeah, but this is serious shit not just something to do as a hobby,” Taehyung finally spoke, sitting up straight and sighing.

“You’re been cultivating this hobby for years—”

“Woah-ho! Taehyung, in order to convince you Avyanna is using big words, jeez—” Jungkook laughed, getting up from his seat and moving closer to who he’d just spoken to.

“Hey, shut up! Just because I don’t cuss every two words like you do, doesn’t mean I’m using big words. What’s so big about the word ‘cultivating’?” she snapped back and he simply replied by tickling her for a bit before moving his attention to the screen.

“Anyway, as I was saying. The work has to be done by someone from our team and you’re the only one who can out of all of us. Adrielle is way too fussy…” no reply from the blondie,  “Jimin has trembling hands—” 

“Which is a fat fucking lie because it would mean I cut myself every time I cut onions—”

Avyanna cackled and softly pushed Jimin’s head, wanting him to shush as she went on, “Jungkook would just throw pranks and take selfies rather than our pictures…” This time around, Jungkook didn’t snap back like he usually does but just laughed, mentally agreeing with her words, “and I suck—”

“Damn, yeah, you do,” he whispered, gaining an elbow in the side before he dramatically cried like a baby. Avyanna just proceeded with her explanation, rolling her eyes at the overly dramatic rolling-Jungkook on the floor.

“So you, Taehyung, are the only person up for the task. And, anyway, why you being shy all of a sudden? They’re just some lame-ass pictures—”

“Mine aren’t—”

“Shut up Jungkook and get back to suffering. Anyway, Tae, what do you think?” she smiled, looking at the respondent in hopes he’d consider everything she’d just said. Taehyung sighed, “It’s not like I have a choice anyway—”

“Fantastic! We love you,” Avyanna clamoured, squeezing his cheeks like a grandmother does to her nephew. He just smiled, finding everything hilarious.

Never could there be a dead moment whenever he’s with his friends. In fact, he believes that at least 60% of his abs were developed from the crazy amount of times they make him laugh.

Soon, Adrielle’s seriousness and speed brought their fruits and they were done with the flyers, nicely decorated thanks to her magic. She had finished a few minutes after the chef announced dinner was served and around twenty minutes after her parents had returned from work.

To pay for how much delay he’d caused them, Adrielle instructed Jungkook to make sure the right number of flyers would be printed and assigned Avyana as his personal guard as she took Jimin and Taehyung to the living room to show them her ideas for the final presentation. Yeah, this time around, the two boys were functioning just fine, completely serious and actively participating.

On the other hand, Avyanna and Jungkook were cracking some silly dance moves to the sound of the printer.

Finally, around ten minutes later, everyone, teenagers and parents, were sitting around the dining table to have dinner.

—Now playing: Venice Bitch by Lana Del Rey ✫

Them being at Adrielle’s was almost equivalent to being in the comfort of their homes so they easily lost track of time—didn’t mind really.

October was already knocking at the door, asking to be welcomed in along with its cold breeze, warm-coloured dry leaves, half-naked trees, dimly bright days and dark late afternoons. The sky above their heads was a smooth pitch-black surface decorated by a few stars here and there. The wind lacing the air wasn’t harsh enough to make trees start singing as it rushed through their leaves nor too cold for anyone to be shaking but it still called for an extra clothing layer to avoid catching a cold already in September.

They finished having dinner around two hours ago and spent their time hanging out, finally doing something unrelated to school that day.

They had a few drinks but considering it was Sunday, they didn’t go in strong and just had enough to live the moment. That type of activity is reserved for Fridays and Saturdays but Jungkook didn’t know this—or at least he did but just couldn’t bring himself to give even half a fuck.

Since the hands of the clock were inching closer and closer to the top numbers, to signal the end of another day, they had to pack up and leave to give themselves and the owners of the house the chance to rest and be fully energized for the next day.

The five senior-year high school students were all gathered outside by the big metal gate. Three were smoking while two were busy handling school-related issues.

“Honestly… why me?” Jungkook whined like a baby watching Jimin and Adrielle place the boxes of flyers in the trunk of his car.

“Kook, as we already told you, you use your car on a daily basis especially to go to school so it’s easier like this to transport the boxes,” Adrielle spoke slowly like one does to a stubborn child.

Taehyung blew out smoke from his cigarette and side-eyed his friend, chuckling and rolling his eyes because he knew what was coming. Jungkook probably had too much to drink and no one even noticed because if they had, they would’ve snatched the glass away from him immediately. The last thing any one of them wanted to handle was Jungkook being hangover—grumpier than Grumpy himself.

“Yeah, yeah… but… you see this beauty on four wheels?—” Jungkook burps “This artwork? It wasn’t coined to be carrying flyers around,” he kept going, speaking in whispering tones like he was high on drugs and seeing visions. Then he shoved his cigarette back in his mouth. 

Jimin and Adrielle didn’t reply to him again. The first one mostly rolled her eyes like she always does and the second simply smiled.

“Are you high or something?” Avyanna was smoking her cigarette off while she giggled, looking at how messily Jungkook was smoking his. He shook his head a bit too much to deny but everyone saw through that and they chuckled.

“I guess I will be driving everyone home tonight,” Jimin chanted, going back to take another box.

“No, no, no. My baby… she belongs to me—” he burps.

“Jungkook, it’s just a stupid car,” Avyanna laughed. She always found him too funny whenever he was like this and the tons of videos of his sitting in her gallery can prove that.

“You know… that adjective you just used…” Jungkook began. “Oh, my God. I don’t think it’s just cigarettes. Did he drink? Who gets drunk on a fucking Sunday night?” Jimin questioned as he dropped the last box of flyers into the vehicle and closed the trunk. In the meantime, seeing how much her friend struggled to speak, Avyanna happily exclaimed: “Ooh, we love ourselves a blabbing Jungkook on a Sunday night!”

“That adjective…” he continued, struggling not to slur his words, “Didn’t just hurt my baby… but it hurt… me. Devasted me. Oh, my God! Avyanna… do you really hate me that much? Look what you’ve done to me,” he whined, throwing himself on the floor to behave like a fallen soldier but, luckily for him, his friends caught him before he could do any damage to himself. They were laughing through the whole process. Avyanna the most, especially while he was trying to speak coherently so he could paint her as a traitor.

“Okay, okay. It’s time for bed. Way past your bedtime,” Taehyung spoke with the cigarette tightly held between his lips as he held onto Jungkook’s shoulders. Jimin held the legs while Avyanna simply snatched the cigarette away from his fingers, causing him to whine and stretch to take it back and eventually fail. The girl wholeheartedly laughed, finding him hilarious and adorable at the same time—these were also the only times she could laugh in his face without him wanting to run after her and have her quickly greet Death by tickling her too much.

“He’s allergic to being serious, so much so he had to get drunk, bruh,” Adrielle chuckled, hand on her waist as she watched her friends try to carry him and place him in the backseat.

“Kook, I swear to you that if tomorrow you try to bust our asses because of your hangover, I’ll freaking rip every hair strand from your head. It will probably ease the headache,” she ultimately spoke, watching her friends succeed in placing the big drunk baby in the back. She knew that this warning was given to the breeze to carry along to wherever it wanted because the Jungkook of right now can’t understand anything and the Jungkook he’ll be tomorrow would rip her tongue out of her mouth if she ever wanted to repeat the sentence or bring her words to action.

“Y’all get ready to take the bus tomorrow no matter what because he surely won’t be in the mood to be doing anyone favours,” Taehyung spoke after taking his cigarette to quickly finish smocking before they left.

“Fuck! That’s true! He won’t pick me up tomorrow,” Avyanna whined and giggled, crumbling Jungkook’s cigarette under the sole of her shoes while she finished smoking hers.

“You better shut the fuck up because out of all of us, you’re the one who takes the bus the least because he always drives you to school, always. And, anyway, his car is staying at mine. I can’t just drop it at his and go home on foot,” Jimin explained, pointing fingers before getting into the driver’s seat. Avyanna only giggled and turned around to lean on the car, “I guess a great day awaits Jungkook tomorrow. Like just imagine him waking up with a raging headache, messing up everything he’s doing exactly because of it only to come out and see that his car isn’t where it usually is,” she chuckled more.

“Ooh and since he’s a hangover, he won’t turn his phone on unless he really needs to so when he can’t find his car, he finally goes to his messages just to see that Jimin sent him a voice message: ‘erm, you were so drunk last night I had to drive everyone home and since it was late and the bus wasn’t available, I had to drive myself home with your car. It’s parked in front of my house you can take it after school’” Taehyung laughed as they pictured everything in their head.

“He’d fucking lose it right then and there. He’d start cussing everyone and everything while he stumped his way to the bus stop,” Avyanna continued.

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of Jimin turning the engine on, so they got the queue they’d leave any moment from then and quickly took a few last draws before discarding the cigarettes by crushing them with their shoes.

“Oh, fuck you all for polluting not just your lungs but also my freaking compound! I wish you the best fucking night ever!” Adrielle exclaimed as they got in the car, laughing and blowing her kisses.

Finally, they drove off, out of her compound and to their homes while Avyanna waved at her friend from the back window. 

Adrielle chuckled as she waved back and once they had completely left her compound, she pressed the button to allow her gates to close and trekked back to her home to get herself a good beauty sleep after everything that was today.

⤎ previous page | ❃ | next page ⤏

[enrosadiraanisaaa]

Within Session .Part Two.

Hello, this is my first fanfic. After reading several fanfics with Yandere!Leon Kennedy, I thought I hop on the bandwagon. I intend for this fic to progressively become disturbing and fucked up with each chapter. While the first few chapters will be tamed, expect the following in this series:

~Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Breeding, Degradation, NonCon, Gang Banging, Forced Pregnancy, Somnophilia, Blackmail, Manipulation, Abuse, Pet Names, Obsessive Behavior (Duh), Torture, Constraints, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Mental Degradation, Toxic Relationship, Sexual Abuse, Masturbation, Drugged & Drunk Sex, Loss of Virginity, Forced Penetration…

Also you will be retconned (Too bad 😏): Female Reader, 24 Years old and from Texas 💝

This story was purely written with RE 4 (Remake) Leon in mind. So no puppy dog Leon from RE2 or DILF Leon from later games & movies. The story takes place several months after the events of RE4. Yay, you’re in 2004!

I plan to make this series long and fleshed out, but I promise what you want will hit you like a train~🚂

This chapter does not contain any 🔞 material. This story will contain +18 content (NSFW) in the near future 🔞 If you’re a minor, please go read a real book or something, don’t cry to me when your mom finds your shit.  This story will eventually hit that point so don’t set yourself up.

Summary

As an on sight therapist for STRATCOM in Nebraska, you’re tasked with providing quality therapy for US military personnel and government agents. After working at the headquarters for 6 months, Hunnigan recommends you to a notable government agent, Leon Kennedy, who is in need of therapy. After a number of sessions with you, Leon notices a substantial stability in his sanity yet is threatened when you are offered a position back home, closer to your family and friends. Your choice doesn’t sit well with one particular client, who can’t fathom you out of your role as his therapist. Leon has found a means of keeping his precious therapist and realizes you are the key to his permanent solace. You were obviously destined to be his in some form. Why dream of him letting you go?

A\N: I was heavily inspired by Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue 💙, ExploreVenus’s Something Permanent and Guardian Angel by NexysWorld. They’re all great works, especially the fanfics with Yandere!Leon *chef’s kiss*. They both certainly have been feeding my obsession with Yandere!Leon in general at this point.

Hope y'all enjoy the second part! More to come 💝~ Anisssa أنيسة

Here is Part One of Within Session

Perfect Red

Despite months of residing in Nebraska, the drifting wind from the winter weather never ceased to pierce the skin to where it was nearly painful. It was an obvious contrast to Texas weather, as layers were necessary in Nebraska. With this in mind, you were beginning to regret your attire for today. Therapist attire in the winter was nearly nonexistent yet an oversized coat was a means to defeat the brunt of the cold weather. Underneath this oversized coat, a conservative two piece suit consisting of a dark red blazer and skirt that hugged your legs and passed your knees was worn. As an onsight therapist for the STRATCOM headquarters, to maintain a professional appearance was pivotal for reverence. Straight from college, you were able to land this position with assistance from Ingrid Hunnigan, an old colleague that was able to recommend you.

       While embracing warmth inside the government building, the clicking of your closed toed black heels echoed in the hallway until you reached your office. A cozy small office, decorated with baby blue walls and a cherry wood desk in the middle was where the magic happened. By peering at the calendar on the wall with bold numbers of 2004 printed on the top, today was a Monday morning in the middle of November. After booting up the computer on the desk, you elect to check emails and your schedule to discern which clients will be seen today. A sudden email from Hunnigan springs up with a ping on the screen.

     An email entailing a new client, containing a PDF for briefing with their background and information. By scanning the email with the attached PDF file, the name: LEON SCOTT KENNEDY in bold letters caught attention. That name sounded vaguely familiar. 

From Hunnigan, the email read: 

   Good morning,          A new client with client code name KenLeo has been added to your schedule. I have worked closely with him and have recommended your services. Sessions will be Monday and Fridays from 5PM to 5:50PM. I have attached a PDF file for briefing. Let me know if you have any questions!     Thank you so much,                 Ingrid Hunnigan

Hunnigan was always supportive, bringing clients from various divisions and sections from the military. Upon reviewing the file on Leon, he seemed to belong to a unique division, the Anti-Umbrella Pursuit and Investigation Team. While not surprising there were sections of the government unheard of, the words Anti-Umbrella certainly intrigued you. The file also entailed personal information such as his birthday, basic background, and some medical history. From the file, you discern Leon is currently 27, has no living family member, orphaned, and is of Italian-American heritage. Usually, other information regarding their background were included, yet Leon’s history was highly restrictive, especially details concerning his former occupation as a police officer in the late 90s. 

With a shrug, you clicked off the file and email from Hunnigan. The first session for new clients were almost like an interview process, Leon would certainly provide that part of his history if he was comfortable enough, especially if there were any occurrences that had ensued a detrimental effect on his mental health. Although, it would not be a surprise if his time as an officer would contribute to his current wellbeing. 

By returning your attention to your computer screen, you review the schedule with the block slots of clients with the addition of Leon Kennedy at 5PM later today. The day certainly was going to feel longer due to the addition of this new client, yet there was an underlying determination to guide these people in achieving their relief. 

      Currently, it was 15 minutes before the first client, and there were already a number of tasks to complete, especially gathering legal documentation for Leon. By clicking off the computer, you stand up from the computer chair with a violent stretch before removing the oversize coat, simply hanging it on the chair. With your hands, you adjust both your cherry colored blazer and skirt, while ensuring no strands stuck out from your hair.

It was time for business.

The morning breezed by with several clients, yet the afternoon slowed the pacing of the day. After an hour break, there were 5 more scheduled sessions with clients. By 5PM, you were quite exhausted, yet committed to perform effectively for an effective impression for Leon’s first session. While seated at your desk, gathering documents and legal forms, a sudden knock at the doorway interrupted your attention. As you direct your attention to the entrance of the office, the source of the knock revealed a blonde male with ocean-like eyes.

      At the sight, you immediately composed yourself and stood up to make your way around the desk to the man. “You must be Leon Kennedy, I assume?” You brightly greeted him, gently ushering him into the office.

       He nods,”Uhh, yes… you’re the therapist that Hunnigan referenced ?” Leon questions, taking a few steps into the office as you gesture at him to sit at one of the two chairs in front of your desk. 

     With a nod of your head,”Yes, and as she informed me, you have never seeked treatment or counseling before?” You ask, seating yourself on the other chair across from him instead of the chair behind your desk.

    As you sat down in the chair, you could have sworn he looked you up and down with a scrunched up face. He nods again,”Yes…” he simply says.

     With a smile, you nod,”That’s okay, let’s get started, Leon,” You say, glancing at him across to you. Leon had a noticeable frown on his face. 

       Was it the red?

[keganexe]

Setting Up a Zine Layout for Print (with Affinity Publisher)

Listen up shits spoons

Heyo back with another guide for folks new to art and layout! In this one I'm gonna talk about setting up your zine for print with a commercial printer (Like Mixam). If you wanna look at my other guides you can see them here (as of the time of this one I've done one other guide, but I enjoy doing these so I'll probably do more as time permits)

I'm specifically gonna be talking about using Affinity Publisher 2 because its what I do all my professional work in, but the ideas should hold solid for other programs like Adobe InDesign, Publisher 1, or others! I'm also gonna talk specifically with Mixam measurements since they're my printer of choice.

I'm going to get real into the basics of this one, so if you've done a good bit of layout already this is probably all old hat for you. I'm specifically skipping around the topic of Color Management, but I talk about it a LITTLE.

This is a lot of text, so if folks would like I can probably record the setup some time in the future if that would generally be helpful? Lemme know what we want haha

Okay lets dive in though

So lets start at the very beginning which is choosing a page size. I'm going to assume we are working with Letter sized paper because that's what most folks in the US do, which means we want to set the pages up to be half letter. This is gonna give us a zine that folds like this just for clarity.

So lets hit File->New... up top, and you'll get a screen that looks like this. We are going to change our measurements to be Page Width 5.5 and Page Height 8.5 which is our measurements all folded and whatnot. We want to set our DPI to 300 so the printer has plenty to work with and we don't end up with pixely shit on the pages.

Under the Pages tabs things should default correctly, but we want Facing Pages to make layout a little easier, and we want to start on the Right with a single page. This tab should look like this

Next we are gonna hop on over to the Color Tag the long of the short of this is we want to work in CMYK/8. I'm specifically working with the color space used by Mixam within CMYK/8, but your computers default should be fine here, so just set your Color Format to CMYK8, and let it choose the default for Color Profile.

I don't personally set Transparent Backgrounds because I think they're a fucking eyesore, but that's dealer's choice and if you prefer them what's wrong with you good for you.

Color Management is really a pretty complex topic I'm not really good at talking about because I don't have the knowledge I should on it (I've largely worked in Black and White!), but here is a really solid primer on why we want to work in CMYK over RGB, and why that's so important for printing.

Hopping over to the Margins and Bleed tags, we are gonna do some minor changes to the default. If you're laying out something over say 60 pages I'd look at editing the inner margins here a bit.

I'm gonna go off the Mixam Full Bleed Print guidelines, and give myself some extra space for safety, but if your printer has other thoughts you should follow those instead. I've found that generally these guidelines work for most projects so you're usually safe to follow this bit as is. If you don't know what Margins or bleed are, I'd just read through the full bleed print guidelines linked above because it's a great primer. If you don't care or already know, keep reading.

For Margins we are gonna include margins and set our inner margins to 1 inch, and our outer/top/bottom margins to .5 inches

For Bleed we are gonna set everything to .25 inches for safety, Mixam only needs .125 inches.

Finally, so we don't have to go through this every single time, we are going to save this setup by clicking the button up top (next to where it says Letter* on my screen). I'm calling mine Mixam Half Letter Zine so I can remember it next time.

FINALLY you can click Create at the bottom right of the popup, and if you've done it right you should be greeted with a screen that looks somewhat like this

Now we're gonna set up some Master pages, font and paragraph styles, baseline grids, and guides to get the best looking zine possible.

At the top of the screen we wanna go to View->Preview mode, and make sure its unselected. This is gonna make sure we can see all the setup we are doing now, you can unselect it at any time (by hitting the toggle or Ctrl+shift+w) to see what the zine looks like without our guidelines on once we get them setup. Also on the view menu we want to turn on basically everything except Grid in the top bit. Here's what your menu should look like, and what your page will look like if things are setup right!

Okay so lets start with Masters! Setting up a good flexible master page or two is a great way to make sure your Zine keeps a consistent look throughout, and it carries your setup across pages! Look to the top left of the working space, and lets go work on Master A by double clicking on it.

I'm going to setup a quick set of guides just so I can lay things out a bit easier! While on Master A hit View->Guides and under Column Guides we are gonna add in 2 Columns and 3 Rows with a Gutter of .125 inches. The margins should be correct, and we want the Spread to be at x:0 y:0 which it should by default. In a lot of circles you will hear this called The Grid, but my friend Clayton did a great guide on this already so I'm linking that here. I also like to set some Horizontal and Vertical guides just so I know where the exact center of the working area is, so I'm going to make 2 Vertical Guides at 2.5 and 8.5, and a Horizontal Guide at 4.25 inches. The long of the short here is this gives us a lot of room to snap things to in the future. I set my Column Guide to pink to make it stand out a little more, but when you export this it'll disappear so just set it to whatever color works best for you.

With the master set, click back over to Page 1, and you should see it now has a series of guidelines based on this master. Hell yeah.

Lets move on to text styles now! These are going to save you a lot of hassle in the future with making sure everything matches, and works how you like. Double check that you're off the Master, and then lets make a text box using the Frame Text Tool, and lets get ourselves a text box somewhere on this page. The placement doesn't SUPER matter here because we are just going to erase it at the end.

Toss a few lines of text into this box, I usually use Title, Header, Body Text, and then 3 lines of Bullet Text

Now we are gonna hop into the Text Styles menu. I keep mine pinned on screen, but if it isn't visible, you can find it under Windows->Text->Text Styles

Now highlight each of these lines of text, and double click the appropriate text style from this menu (ie we are gonna set Title to Header 1, Header to Header 2, etc). It'll look something like this when you're done

Now we're gonna change each of these lines of text to look how we want! For the example I'm making my titles and headers in Bellybeans FG, and setting the rest of the text to Open Dyslexic and resizing them so they look good.

My page looks like this now

Now's a great time to mention that there is a difference between Rich and True black, and it's confusing and it fucks a lot of folks up. The link up above (the primer on CMYK above RGB) talks some about your blacks, and links to a follow up article about them! You can skip reading any of that for now (but like you should), because the tldr here is going to be make SURE that if you are using Black you have the color set to c:0 y:0 m:0 k:100 if you don't wanna have issues later!

Now we want to update our font styles to match! To do this we are going to go back and individually highlight each line of text, and then right click the matching Text Style, and hit Update. The screens should look like this.

Next we are gonna set up a baseline grid! This makes it so that text on one side of a spread is gonna line up correctly with text on the opposite side of the page, and just helps with making pages look good and even! We want to set the grid Relative to the Top Margin, and then set the spacing to whatever you feel is correct in your heart of hearts. These are the settings I've used, but do whatever looks good here, there are probably some hard and fast rules for how to do this well, but I do not know them.

On my specific example you can see my Bullets are really spread out, and I don't like that, but the Body Text lays out much nicer. Lets deal with some spacing issues!

We are gonna hop on over to the Paragraph tab now, for me this is another tab on the Text Styles Window, but if you don't have it visible Windows->Text->Paragraph should bring it up.

So for me personally I want all my bullets to be on the following line, and not skip a whole line between them. I'm going to highlight all my text, and in this menu I'm going to go to Spacing > Space After Paragraph and set the amount to 0 pts.

You can also go further into this tab to change some more rules about what your bullets look like (things like how big your tabstops are, what the bullets look like, etc) but I'm not getting into that here!

After all this I'm gonna hop back into text styles, highlight each line of bullets, and Right Click->Update style on each of them (Just like we did previously!)

It's really tempting to skip this section of setting up your zine, but it enables a lot that can really help you out a ton in the long run. Having standardized Headers allows easy updating of headers and titles across the document, easy setup of Table of Contents for folks using them, and also on export is going to auto-bookmark the pdf for folks using PDF formats. It really pays to take time and set things like this up correctly the first time. After you're happy that this all looks good, you can go ahead and erase this text box.

Now we can break into zine layout proper, but if you just wanted basics you can stop here! Whatever you do from here is gonna print pretty decently.

If you'd like to stick around I'm going to set up some slightly nicer master pages, talk about why I use multiple masters, set up page numbers, and get us a table of contents!

So from hereon I'm just gonna work on laying out a basic Zine. So let's hop back into our Master Pages, and start setting up some flexible masters. I know I want at least two masters, one where I have text on both pages, and one where I only have text on the rightmost page. For right now we are going to just work on the spread with text on both pages, so I'm going to create a text box on both pages within the spread that fills the entirety of that guide we set up earlier. On the leftmost page, I'm going to right click the text box with the Frame Text Tool selected, and I'm going to choose to Insert Filler Text so I can see how everything looks.

Make sure this text is in your Body Text Style, and then click the little triangle on the text box

I'm now gonna select the textbox on the rightmost of the spread. If you did it properly, your page should look somewhat like this.

After I'm happy with this page, I'm going to erase the text in both boxes. I wanna add in some page numbers now. They aren't going to fit in the boxes here, but if you remember correctly I left myself a little bit of wiggle room when I set up the margins! Mixam needs .25 in clear, but my boxes are all .5 inches from the edges of the page. To make sure I don't egress the space too badly here, I'm going to set up a new horizontal guide from the View->Guides page we used previously, and I'm going to set this guide at 8.25 in which is the true bottom edge of our workable space.

I'm going to create new text boxes for our page numbers that line up with the outer edges of our guides, and the new true-bottom line I just set up.

It looks like this, but there's an eye icon which means no text in this box is going to be visible!

No worries this is because our baseline grid isn't playing nicely here, we are gonna break it in a moment, but for the mean time lets right click this text box, and select Insert Fields->Page Number

On the left page I'm also going to Bold and Left Align this box, but otherwise keep it in my Body Text Style. With the text all highlighted, I'm going to hop into the Paragraph window again, and scroll down to Baseline Grid->Align to Baseline Grid, and turn that option off.

My page now correctly shows a single # in the spot I'd want my page numbers to be. When this master is used, that number will automatically update to be correct! I'm going to duplicate this text box, and drag it onto the right page of the spread, and set the alignment to Right. I'm going to refill the textboxes with Filler Text for a moment, and turn Preview Mode on so I can make sure I like the page. For me this master now looks like this

I'm going to duplicate this master now, and on the left page of the spread I'm going to remove both text boxes. I like to name my masters so I know what they are at a quick glance. This is going to leave me a second master that looks like this.

You can get really involved on your master pages generally! I'm not doing anything fancy with this one, but previous projects have that heavily used masters might have pages that look more intense and include things like photo boxes, more complicated sets of text boxes, and even some text to use as a guide as I go.

Lets hop back to Page 1 of our doc, and leave the masters behind

Page 1 is going to be the title page for the book, but it likely now has a bunch of details now that you don't particularly need. If you have a master you don't want on a page, you can right click the page, and click Clear Masters.

I'm almost out of images on this post so I am gonna go mostly imageless from hereout. I'm gonna toss some text on pages, and then make a table of contents, and get my page numbers fixed up since most people don't actually want to count the Cover as Page 1 as far as page numbering goes.

With the project laid out, and the pages where I want them, the actual "Page 1" is going to start on Page 5 for me. Looking at the pages on the left side, I'm going to right click Page 5, and click Start New Section. On this new section I'm going to fill it out so the new section starts on page 5, and restarts the numbering at 1. Here's what it looks like for me.

On page 3 I want to include a Table of contents so if the ToC window isn't visible I'm gonna hit Window->References->Table of Contents, and then in this window I'm going to hit the insert button. You can really dial in a lot of settings here, but as long as you've been using those Text Styles I mentioned previously, it should be pretty easy! Since I've been using only Heading 2 to start chapters, I'm going to unselect Heading 1 since it is effectively only being used on the ToC page and the cover, and I don't think folks need help finding those. This ToC feature rocks and as long as your page numbers are correct, and you use your text styles it should auto-update! If it doesn't there's a refresh ToC button on this window as well. Regardless (and perfectly using my 30th image) this is what it looks like for me now.

You'll also note I updated the text styles here as well! Anyway this is a real overview of zine layout for print, there's probably more things I should cover, but I'm out of images and tired so I'm leaving it here. If this was helpful I'm gonna put this template up on my itch after I clean it up some down the line.

I'm gonna have to come back with a Part 2 that talks about exporting and whatnot, but this is all I can realistically fit in a post for now.

If you get any use out of this and wanna throw a few bucks my way you can do that here

and if you have any questions I'll answer what I can! Just shoot me an ask on here, or like annoy me on my discord (its in my pinned post)

okay thanks bye

[conceptofjoy]

what would you do if you got trapped into a computer and tried to send messages to ur friends about it and no one believed u so you were just stuck in there. any computer and all access to internet…

if its one of those shitty old family computer theres not much to do other than play pong with myself right. maybe tetris if im looking to treat myself.

ok for real. when you say computer i hope you mean i suddenly gain mad haxxing abilities and shit because first thing i do is retaliate against lalonde since obviously, computers are wytchkkraft proof. ship metric tones of animal waste to her house and see how she likes it, navigating through some one elses shit.

another thing is i would bang out sbahj movie after sbahj movie. just absolutely flood the market like i did to the geological environment... oh shit could i 3d print bullshit myself, stream line the process.

hopped up and megalomaniacal, i would reinstate obama to be president. we would both metaphorically high fiving constantly (cause i aint got no hands) at the economical growth i'd be stimulating by creating piles upon piles of shitty jpeg washington monuments.

nah i dont think id be able to keep up the ruse for too long. lalonde has a freaky way of knowing about random shit i do, though only to be a huge nag.

[raitrolling]

📝 Glasya

Glasya sauntered out of their office, making their way over to their assistant's desk with a lazy yet amused smile on their face.

"Hey, Astera. Did you peep the latest FOI request?"

Astera looked up from her computer screen - then promptly sighed as their boss moved some files aside so they could sit on their desk, kicking their legs as they waved the printed copy of the aforementioned request.

"Glasya, can't you just bring your chair with you?" The greenblood stated with slight irritation.

"I'm the boss here, I do what I want," Glasya replied with a cheeky smile on their face, prompting another sigh from Astera.

"But, yes, I'm looking at it now. It's..." Astera peered in closer to her screen, squinting at the words in disbelief. "Oh, come on, really? This person wants proof for the Flat Alternia theory? What an idiot."

The indigoblood cracked up.

"Man, I know right? Would've dismissed it as a prank but nah, this dude's legit. Put a whole ten paragraphs about his research in the reasons why he needs this info, that's when you know you've got a real cooker," They say with a snort. "Anyway, so I've been looking up some memes we can send him-"

"Glasya, it's an official Freedom of Information request. We have to take it seriously," Astera cut them off before they could finish. They glanced back at the screen, and opened up the electronic database to begin a preliminary search.

"Booo, spoilsport," Glasya huffed, pulling a face of mock disappointment before resuming to their usual cheeky expression. "I'll send you 'em anyway, bet they'll crack a smile on your sour apple face."

Astera responded with nothing but an eyeroll.

The indigoblood snorted in amusement, as they did not expect anything different. Astera took everything seriously - too seriously, they felt, but they suppose they understood why. As the sole remaining survivor of the records manager's assistants, there was a heavy weight on her shoulders to perform at her absolute best and to pick up as much slack as possible. Especially when the manager of the department came across as someone who did not take anything seriously.

Glasya just wished she could feel like she could relax more. They weren't putting any pressure on her performance, that was purely her own doing. If anything, they'd rather she took more time off for herself and let them handle the entire records department.

They're the reason why there's been no new hires for assistant roles to replace the previous ones, after all. They still can't let go.

But, no time to bring down the mood again. They clear their throat, and pick a new joke to roll with.

"Hey, Astera, you think these conspiracy theory guys believe that we breathe in the atmosflat?"

Astera said nothing, but Glasya could see a hint of a smile on her face.

"What about the other planets? Do they think they're flat too or did we just luck out and end up on 2D world?"

That smile got a little more noticeable.

"And what about conscription? Imagine being one of those guys and leaving the planet for the first time. You think they're being like 'ah lads we got it wrong now, shit's a wholeass space basketball', or do they think that it's still flat and it's just always facing them every time they look out the window?"

Finally, Astera snorted.

"Glasya, oh my god."

"Damn, that last one was a real knee-slapper, huh?" They reply with a grin. "Didn't think it was that funny, but we take those."

"No, not your stupid comments - Look."

Astera pointed at her computer screen, prompting Glasya to hop off the desk and stand next to her for a better look.

On one of the monitors, a report from the archives titled 'Report #20033120: "Magically-Induced Mass Delusion Within Block 361 - Flat Alternia"' stared the two trolls right in their face.

Glasya's jaw dropped.

"My God, a wizard did it all along."

[ag-updates-and-archives]

Circa Survive's Anthony Green: Why I Love Deftones 'White Pony'

"That record changed the way I thought about heavy music"

Revolver has teamed with Deftones for an array of special limited-edition 'White Pony' 20th anniversary bundles including the new White Pony|Black Stallion 4LP release, a hand-numbered Richey Beckett print and Revolver's Deftones Summer 2020 box set. Quantities are limited so order yours now!

Deftones' debut, Adrenaline, introduced a powerful, if still raw and unfocused, new force in heavy music. Around the Fur marked the first evolutionary step toward the transcendent sound and vision we know and love today. But White Pony was the major leap, a dive off the deep end into a sensual world without sonic limits. The Sacramento-bred trailblazers' signature alt-metal grooves were wedded with ambient electronics, synth-pop, experimental rock and trip-hop. Tool's Maynard James Keenan guested (on the immortal "Passenger"). "Elite" won a Grammy. And a generation of fans were inspired to make their own genre-defying music — including Anthony Green, vocalist of Circa Survive, Saosin and more. We talked to Green about his connection to White Pony and its enduring impact on him.

HOW DID YOU FIRST DISCOVER THE DEFTONES? ANTHONY GREEN The first time I heard them was around Adrenaline. I think the video for "Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)" was on MTV or 120 Minutes or something … And I was like, Damn this is so cool. The next time I heard about them this girl Lauren gave me a mix tape that had "Digital Bath" on it. White Pony had just come out, but I didn't have it. And Colin [Frangicetto], who's in Circa with me, had the cassette tape of it in his car. I think he'd stolen a promotional copy from the college radio station he worked at, and I listened to it over and over again. I really got obsessed with that record. I had friends who liked the Deftones a lot, but for some reason because they liked them I just couldn't get into it. Then when White Pony came out it was too good to deny it. It was so incredible.

LET'S STEP BACK TO THAT MIX TAPE. WHAT FIRST STRUCK YOU WHEN YOU HEARD "DIGITAL BATH"? So Lauren gave me a tape with all these crazy bands on it, like Tori Amos and all this shit and "Digital Bath" was arguably the heaviest song on there. But it was not the heaviest song they had. … I was like, Holy shit this is intense but not in a way that I was used to. I liked Strife and Earth Crisis and Minor Threat and this was like intense, but in a really pretty way. [Deftones singer Chino Moreno's] voice goes so high on that song. He hits this crazy note. As a kid who sang with a high voice I was like, Fuck that is so sick. It gave me some weird confidence.

HOW DID YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH WHITE PONY CHANGE OR DEEPEN WHEN YOU EVENTUALLY HEARD THE WHOLE ALBUM IN COLIN'S CAR? Deftones opened themselves up to me on that record. There was like hip-hop shit going on, heavy-metal shit, atmospheric, psychedelic, King Crimson–type shit happening. [They] weren't being pigeonholed by a genre. It wasn't nu-metal. … To me, I think of nu-metal and I think of fucking Trapt, you know what I mean? [Laughs] When I think of Deftones I think of almost a heavy Radiohead. That record became a heavier OK Computer to me.

THE ALBUM TITLE IS UP FOR INTERPRETATION. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU? To me, I thought it meant a dream. … Almost like Moby Dick, the classic grail-type thing reimagined. It's this thing that's always getting away from you, that you couldn't quite grasp, like a dream. And the record itself is both dissonant and beautiful at the same time. …

They had this masculine quality, which is an obvious thing that's been celebrated throughout rock & roll music. But they were also very delicate. They had this very beautiful feminine quality to them too. I wouldn't say it was something that was common back then. You heard bands like Far and Sunny Day Real Estate doing shit like that. But Deftones just weren't afraid to be vulnerable. Because at the very next [moment] they would be like punching you in the face. It was a natural, organic vulnerability that came from a comfort of knowing. They knew you. They knew you … needed to be shaken and cradled at the same time. [Laughs]

HOW DID WHITE PONY INFLUENCE YOUR OWN CREATIVE DEVELOPMENT? The fundamental core of that record … changed the way I thought about heavy music as something that needs to be overtly aggressive. It differentiated aggressiveness and delicate atmospheric melody — and that is literally the foundation of every band I've ever been a part of. From Saosin and Sound of Animals, Circa … There's Circa songs … that I feel like you could hear a direct influence from White Pony. There's a song called "Phantom" [from 2014's Descensus] we wrote that I definitely feel like I was channeling Chino

Dude, I've kinda ripped him off for so long. [Laughs] I've gotten away with it for one reason or another, but I've ripped him off in every way possible. I've watched him move onstage and done stuff later at shows where I'm like, This is kinda how he was moving. [Laughs] There was a song that he and I sang together called "Right Outside" that I literally wrote after I listened to the Crosses song "This Is a Trick."

I was like, I'm going to write a song that sounds like Crosses. [Laughs] I ended up sending it to [Chino] from the suggestion of a guy who was putting the record out. And he said he would do it. It was crazy because I wrote it thinking, What would he sing here. He has such like an R&B almost funk, Motown aspect to his vocals, but because he screams a lot I think people miss out on that. Dude, his rhythms are insane. Even when he's screaming, he's screaming in a tempo that's opposite to the kick drum — it's like made for you to chop wood and fuck shit up to, or slow dance underwater. It's the perfect thing to accompany a trip on mushrooms, but also it's really good to go to the gym and lift to.

YOU'VE COVERED DEFTONES "DIAMOND EYES" BEFORE [FROM 2010'S DIAMOND EYES] — EVER TACKLE ANYTHING FROM WHITE PONY? When they had the anniversary, on our Circa Patreon I did an acoustic cover of "Change (In the House of Flies)." It's like my favorite thing. … That song is just so incredible. The lyrics are so simple in a way … Like when you sit down to write sometimes you can overcomplicate things because you're putting your own spin on something. "I watched a change in you. It's like you never had wings." You know? Holy shit. It's so simple. I think that's why so many people are able to grab on to it because he was able to tap into something that everybody understood. All the lyrics on that record … "Tonight I feel like more" [from "Digital Bath"]. Dude. If you just like say that to somebody it's the most poetic thing ever. Holy. Fucking. Shit. For a schizophrenic manic depressive like me hearing that, it's so obscure and clear at the same time — I know exactly what he's talking about. [Laughs] 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WHITE PONY TRACK AND WHY? Oh man, "Passenger" [featuring Maynard James Keenan] is so sick. Those two forces together, it's such a crazy vibe. It's hard to pick a favorite though. "Knife Prty" is so sick too! "Rx Queen" is a great song … I would probably say "Digital Bath" is my favorite song on the record, but it's so hard to pick.

IS WHITE PONY SOMETHING YOU REGULARLY GO BACK AND LISTEN TO? A lot times I'll put on a record that just makes me feel like, Fuck, I want to write today. White Pony does that to me. If I put it on in the morning to go on a run, at the end of the day I'm like, Dude, I want to start five bands right now. I want to start a screamo band, a mellow acoustic electronic side-project, and I want to learn how to rap. [Laughs] Which I promise you I will never do. Or if I do it, I'll never let anyone hear it outside of my house. Just my kids.

AFTER 20 YEARS OF LISTENING TO WHITE PONY — WHAT DOES THE ALBUM MEAN TO YOU NOW? When I think about how they had their first couple records out and then they had this big record. I think that as an artist that wants to have a career making music, I see that they're playing the long game. They're not trying to make something that is going to be appealing to everybody, they're carving out a niche, they literally already had a following when that record came out and became huge. If the record didn't cross the barrier that it did it still would have been the biggest record ever because their fans and the people that love them would carry it for them. But it just so happened that it happened in that period of time where it broke through — and who knows how and why those things happen. But the one ingredient that you need is something next level — and that's what White Pony was. The songs are just undeniably classic in structure, theme and feel … Everything came together. It was like obsession and opportunity just collided in this perfect moment in time to make it so they could continue to do what they do. And I want a career like that.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

246 of 2023

What’s the latest youtube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched?  

Long time ago, Molly Burke and Nik Nocturnal. Also some local, Dutch language channels.

What’s one thing that makes your shoulders hurt? 

Sleeping on the wrong pillow.

Does it snow where you live?

Rarely. We’re usually above zero, so even if it snows, it doesn’t stay for long.

Do you think your hair looks better long or short?

I don’t care, I prefer it short now. I used to have long hair in the past.

Do you look best with or without bangs?  

Lol. No bangs for a guy okay?

What stereotype would you say you fit the most?  

None. I’m a bit of hip hop, a bit of metalhead, a bit of goth. It’s hard to say, there’s alwaqys a twist.

Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone?

No, I have a proper computer software for that.

What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? 

Browsing the internet, but even this is better on the computer.

Which season do you wish would last longer?  

Summer, definitely.

Do you like the name Eliana?  

I prefer Elaine.

Do you know anyone named Claire? Veronica? Cescily? Marcella? Miranda?  

I used to attend kindergarten with Veronique, but not any others.

Haw many outdoor birthday parties have you had? 

One, I think.

How much taller or shorter are you than your mom? 

10 cm taller.

Who is your favorite sibling?

My sister by default, I don’t have any other siblings.

Do you have neat handwriting?

Not really, but at least it’s legible.

Do you enjoy journaling?

I do. I love making handwritten notes and writing important dates and events in the calendar.

What is your most recent new favorite food you’ve discovered?

I can’t remember. I usually stick to the same foods. But I’d go with mini pizzas/mini burgers from Lidl.

Do you like sushi? 

Yes, I do. Too bad it’s that expensive :(

Have you ever tried seaweed?

I think so, in sushi.

How often do you wash your hair?  

Every two dayds. Washing hair every day is not healthy.

Do you have an actual pig-shaped piggy bank? 

No, and I never did. They’re so tacky.

Would you rather hike a mountain or dive into the sea?  

Dive into the sea.

Would you rather grow wings or a tail?

Lol no, thanks.

Which Barbie doll was your favorite?

I’m a guy lol.

Do you prefer cheetah or zebra print? chevron or polka dots? paisleys or plaid? stripes or stars?

Jeez, this all is so tacky. I would never wear it, even if I was a woman.

Do you like your natural hair color?

Nope, it’s so boring.

What is your natural hair color? 

Brown.

Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid?

Kind of, but as I was growing up, I liked the idea less and less.

What show did you want to be on?

None.

Have you ever been to a gynecologist?

Is there any reason why a person who is male should go to one?

Do you use the Bitmoji app on your phone?

No, I don’t even know what it is.

Do you get on facebook every day?

I don’t even have Facebook and I don’t intend to have.

What is your Instagram screenname?

Here you go.

Do you remember the very first episode of Spongebob when it first came out?

I’ve never watched this shit.

Did you watch the Kids Choice Awards when you were a kid? 

No, I had better things to do.

What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up?

None.

Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member?

I was kinda named after my grandpa, so I like the idea, but there’s one problem, I don’t want to have kids.

List three names that sound similar to your name. 

Can’t think of any, except for alternative spellings of my own name.

List three spelling of your name that you are glad you don’t have.

Lol at this survey. One thing is certain, I’m glad to be Joeri.

What were you almost named? 

Joris. It’s actually the other version of my name (and that’s what my grandpa was named), and I like it as much as *my* version.

Do you like your name?  

Very much so. Even though it’s very common where I live.

What are your top three favorite girl’s names? boy names?

Laura, Sylvie, Monica; Joris, Adriaan, Damiaan. (all the Dutch spelling)

What is something you always wanted to do that your parents never let you?

Go to parties. I was going anyway.

Do you have any symptoms of COVID-19 right now?

No, and Europe doesn’t give a shit anymore. Our lives came back to normal.

Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus? 

Does anyone still believe in this bullshit?

Do you know anyone who has the virus?

Plenty of people, even my husband. Spoiler alert: none of them died. Only two were in the hospital. 95% had minor symptoms resembling cold. At this moment, no one has it. But as I said, Europe doesn’t care anymore.

What was the last grocery store you shopped at? 

Albert Heijn.

Name three countries you would like to visit.

Finland, Sweden, Spain.

What does your name mean?

It’s a variant of George, so look it up.

Are you proud to be an American? (if applicable) -

Thankfully I’m not American, and if I was, I’d be rather ashamed.

What countries have you visited?

Belgium (lol), Germany, France, the Netherlands, Denmark, Poland.

Do you have any regrets?

No, it’s pointless. The past is the past.

Do you ever wish you had someone to hug? 

I do have someone to hug.

Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor? 

Why would I? Our bed occupies all the space.

[musings-of-a-rose]

That Shirt

That shirt

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Benny Miller x f!reader (no established relationships)

Word Count: 3500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This is for the writing challenge from @mermaidxatxheart​. You can find the challenge HERE. Also, this was not betad. Thanks to @astoryisaloveaffair​ for helping me decide if positions made sense for all parties involved!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

I don’t know why my cousin decided to settle on a Hawaiian theme for his wedding, but I have to admit I’m ok with it now. Watching Benny try on several of Frankie’s ridiculous shirts before settling on some blue thing with…birds? Plants? I’m not even sure, but I am sure that watching my best friends try on shirts is hot. They ask me my opinion but all the shirts are horrid, except that they pull them off. How on Earth can they pull off those prints? Because they’re the hottest men ever.

They also happen to be my best friends.

My crush on each of them started immediately, when they pulled over to help me with my car that was overheating in the middle of nowhere. Again. No hesitance, they hopped out and inspected the car, Frankie knowing more about engines than Benny, but even he couldn’t save it. They gave me a ride, we got something to eat, and the rest is history. That was several years ago. 

And now, because they’re also the best humans on the planet, they’re both accompanying me to my cousin’s wedding, dressed in horridly printed shirts, while I decided on a dress with a print that somehow compliments them. The only problem is, about an hour into our drive, it started to rain. Well not rain. Downpour. Monsoon. Buckets of rain coming down. I look over at Frankie, who was driving, and I see him squinting towards the road. Pulling out my phone, I find a motel that’s less than a mile up the road.

“Frankie?”

“Mmm?” His eyes remain on the road but he addresses me.

“There’s a motel up ahead on the right. Motel Paradise. I think we should stop.”

He pauses for a moment. “Yeah I agree. I can barely see. I thought we’d have to sleep in the truck.”

We pull up to the motel, thankful for the “vacancy” sign that’s lit up. Frankie pulls up under the awning and we all get out, taking a moment to stretch our legs before walking inside. It’s small, just enough space for the front desk and a small reception area where I assume some sort of breakfast would be available. 

“Welcome to the Motel Paradise,” the man behind the counter says sarcastically, glancing out the glass doors behind us. 

“Thanks, man. You have any rooms available?” Benny asks.

The receptionist glances down at his ancient computer monitor. “I have one left.”

“Just one?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s getting off the roads so…”

Benny glances at me and then Frankie, who nods. “We’ll take it.”

Money exchanged, the man lazily hands us an actual key with a thick, large keychain with the hotel logo on it. It’s all the way at the end of the row of rooms, the very last one in the one story building. Frankie drives us over there and Benny hops out, holding the door open for me as I follow. He walks up to the room door, puts the key in and fiddles with it a moment before pushing the door open. He flicks the lights on and pauses.

“Shit.”

“What is it?” I ask, thinking it’s got left over escapade underwear or something a hotel would have that charges by the hour. But as I push past him, I see exactly what he’s talking about.

“There’s only one bed,” Benny says a little nervously.

“Looks like a queen too,” I offer. 

Frankie walks in then and sees us staring. His eyes follow our gaze and lands on the one, smaller bed. He thinks for several moments before speaking.

“I…I can sleep in the truck.”

Turning to him, I shake my head. “Not with your back you aren’t.”

Benny speaks up. “I’ll take the chair.”

Looking at him, I sigh. “Ben, you’re like a thousand feet tall. Even I couldn’t curl up on that thing. No way. I will go sleep in the truck and you guys can-”

They’re both shaking their heads at me. “No way.”

“Frankie, I know you’re protective over your truck but I promise I won’t drive it.”

“It’s not that, querida. It’s not safe out there. I’m trained for that shit. Plus, you’ll hurt your neck or something.

He’s right. 

“Maybe we can sleep on the floor?” Benny asks, looking at Frankie who starts to nod.

“On this floor? No way. This is a hotel, boys. Who knows when this thing was deep cleaned last.”

Benny chuckles. “There’s always the bathtub.” 

Frankie chuckles with him. “I’d love to see you try and cram yourself into a bathtub.”

They bicker back and forth, in a friendly way before they become quiet, scanning the room for another place to sleep.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, we’ll all share the bed.” I wish I felt as confident inside as I sounded then, because the idea of being sandwiched between the 2 men that I have a massive crush on is…intimidating to say the least. I just know my face is heating up so I walk past Frankie and grab my purse that I had tossed on the dresser. 

“We…we can’t all fit?” Frankie asks, looking between me and Benny.

“Sure we can,” I say, pointing to the bed. “Benny, me, you. We’ll fit and no one will have bad backs or necks in the morning.”

Wait…are they blushing? I watch them both shift nervously where they stand.

“Are…are you sure, sweetheart?”

“Of course. We’ve all stayed at each other’s places before-”

“This is a little different, querida.” Frankie cuts me off.

Sighing, I walk over to the bed and sit on it, bouncing slightly with my movement. I swear I caught them both looking at my chest as it bounced. I have to be seeing things, right?

“Look, it’s fine with me. I’ll sleep great knowing I’m with you both.”

A quick glance at each other and they nod, coming to some sort of an agreement. Frankie gets a cooler out of his truck that he had thankfully packed some sandwiches and road snacks in, which now becomes our dinner. We ate and chatted, a movie playing in the background as the mood relaxed. Soon it was time for bed, so we each grabbed our bags and took turns in the small bathroom getting ready for bed. And that’s when I remembered.

I only have a shirt for pajamas. 

I don’t typically sleep in much of anything but I knew I had to have something so I grabbed an oversized shirt and tossed it in my bag, thinking I’d have a room all to myself. Well that was a terrible idea. Oh well - nothing to be done about it now. 

When I walk out of the bathroom, both Frankie and Benny’s eyes are glued to me, scanning me up and down before looking away quickly, each of them turning a brilliant blush color. What was actually happening? Could they…could they feel the same as me? No. I’m not that lucky.

Making my way over to the bed, I crawl up it, scooting towards the middle as I hear the bathroom door close behind Benny. Some movie is still on the tv and Frankie is trying so hard to keep his eyes on the tv and not me. This is…I’m not sure how to process this. Soon, Benny takes Frankie’s place and sure enough, same thing, as if he’s forcing himself to not look at me. 

Frankie comes out, wet curls sticking to his forehead and now it’s my turn to try and not look at him. Because when his hair sticks to him…

Frankie hovers at the edge of the bed, lightly sitting on the smallest area possible. We watch a bit more of the movie, rain still hammering against the roof, but it’s getting late. We all need to sleep.

“Alright. I think it’s time for bed,” I finish with a yawn. “Come on. I know neither one of you are comfortable. That chair looks like a bed of nails.”

Benny chuckles nervously. “You’re not wrong about that.”

They both get up and face the bed, glancing at each other before back at the bed. Rolling my eyes, I make grabby hands at both of them, patting the bed on either side of me. Nervously, they both shuffle to either side of the bed and slide in, trying hard not to touch me as they do.

“Oh my God you won’t hurt me you know.”

“Yeah but…” Frankie starts, grunting as he tries to cover himself with the blanket.

“We’re tryin’ to be respectful, sweetheart.”

I scoff, air coming out of my nose. “Since when?”

“Since we have to share a bed.” Frankie nearly whispers, but we’re so close I hear him anyway. 

I say nothing. What is there to say? They face away from me as they try to fall asleep. They’re so close I can smell them both and there’s no way I’m getting sleep tonight…

—----

A few hours later, assuming by the darkness in the room, my eyes flutter open, lashes dancing across my cheeks as I feel something hard slightly grinding against my ass. Not something. Someone. Benny. I would be the world’s biggest liar if I said this didn’t immediately turn me on, but he’s got to be dreaming. Right? A little moan escapes me before I can stop it and a few moments later, the grinding stops. 

“Shit. I…’m sorry.” Benny’s voice is raspy with sleep and I can tell he woke when I stirred. But he hadn’t moved away from me, just stopped moving, his erection still firmly pressed against my ass.

Fuck it. I can’t take this anymore - if this makes our friendship awkward, I’ll deal with it later. Pushing my hips back, I slightly grind my ass over his hard cock, tucked away in his pajama pants. A rumble in the back of his throat goes straight between my legs as his fingers tentatively grip my hip, his lips ghosting across my ear as he raspily whispers to me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whisper back, my nerves lighting up my whole body and making me feel giddy, and I close my eyes to focus on the sensations.

Benny’s lips, so soft and warm ghost across my skin, finding some spot on my neck that has me biting my lip. Fuck how does he know about that spot? I didn’t know about that spot. I feel his hand slowly slide up my shirt, his rough fingertips lightly touching my skin and I let out a huff of breath. I’m trying to be quiet, but I don’t know if I can…

Benny pushes up my bralette, my boobs spilling from it as he grabs one, lightly brushing his thumb across my nipple. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. He squeezes and tugs lightly, and I’m already putty underneath his hands. Benny winds his top arm under my neck and around my front, shoving his hand down my top and grabbing a boob, while his other hand starts to roams south, lightly tugging at my underwear. I know he’s waiting for confirmation. I can feel it in his slight hesitance. 

Pushing my hips back, I feel a puff of air on my neck as he gets the hint, his fingers gripping my panties and pulling them down my legs. His fingers make circles around my entrance and I feel him groan quietly into my neck when he feels how wet I am for him. He pushes 2 fingers in and I bite my lip harder - I swear I’m going to draw blood before he’s done. He pumps into me a few times before he’s gone, no longer touching me. 

Opening my mouth to protest, words die on my lips as I hear and sort of feel him shifting his pants down. His hard cock pops free and slaps against my ass as he adjusts his hips, lining up with me. I’ve wanted this for so long, so desperate for this that I nearly cry out in frustration at his slowness. But then he’s pushing in and -

“Mmmnnuuhh!” A moan escapes me before I can stop it. Benny keeps pushing and fuck he’s long. He feels incredible, lighting me up and electrifying my skin.

Soft lips touch mine, a tongue pushing lightly at them, gently demanding I part mine. I do and the tongue glides in and rubs across my bottom teeth, finding my tongue to dance with it. A few more moments of kisses as Benny finally bottoms out inside me and stills, the kiss breaking. My eyes remain closed for a moment before I slowly open them, looking into the dark, lustful eyes of Frankie.

“Is this ok, querida?”

I don’t think I’ve ever nodded faster in my life. “Yes. Fuck, yes.”

He smiles and fuck- Frankie’s smile has always destroyed me. He glances behind me, I’m assuming towards Benny, and gives a small nod. His eyes find mine as Benny starts to slowly pull out, pushing back into me, his hand playing with my nipple. My mouth hangs open and Frankie is there, kissing me, shifting his body to find the boob Benny wasn’t touching. He starts to gently rub circles around my nipple, swallowing my cries as Benny starts to pick up the pace, grunting in my ear and breathing heavy on my neck. 

Frankie shifts down, his hand feeling for the underwear that Benny only managed to push to my knees. He breaks the kiss and moves to pull my underwear down and off, tossing them on top of my bag. He lays back down and resumes kissing me, lightly touching my nipple, which is in a major contrast with the way Benny is gripping and twisting. Frankie’s other hand shifts lower, pushing my leg up and over Benny’s. An extra adjustment thrust from Benny at this angle has me crying out as he hits some spot at the back of me. What is that spot? I can’t dwell on it because Frankie licks his fingers and touches my cunt, sliding his fingers through my folds before gliding back up to touch my clit.

“FUCK!” The word spills from my lips, erupting from somewhere inside me as both of their touch sends me towards the edge. “Fuck you…you both feel…’m gonna…UGH!” 

I explode, my entire body explodes with my orgasm, eyes flying back into my head, my mouth open, my legs shaking as Benny continues to hit that spot at the back of me and Frankie keeps touching my clit. I come down but I’m twitching with every touch. Frankie chuckles darkly and removes his hand.

“I wanna taste you, querida.”

I nod. I think I nod. I hope I nodded because I’d very much like that. I must have nodded because I feel Benny’s grip tighten on my hip as he pulls out, chuckling as I make a noise of protest. They both move my body to sit up and strip me of my clothes along with the rest of the both of theirs. The room is too dark to really see more than an outline of bodies, but that doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother them either as I feel the bed shift, Frankie grunting as he lays on his back, his head towards the bottom of the bed, his feet against the headboard.

“Sit on my face, querida.”

The slightly commanding way he says it has me wet all over again and I don’t have time to think about how he can suffocate before I’m scrambling up the bed, knees on either side of his head. Frankie grips my ass and pushes me close to his face, wasting no time in licking up the center of me.

“F-f-Frankie!” His name spills from my lips as he eats me like a man starved, like he’d been waiting for years for this chance. He uses his nose too, that nose that I love and adore, rubbing it up my pussy and tapping my clit. He continues for a couple minutes, pulling me apart on top of him before I feel a warm, strong hand at my upper back, Frankie humming approval into my cunt and I jerk at the stimulation. 

Benny pushes my upper back down, bending me over Frankie’s body and my nose brushes against Frankie’s hard cock. Fuck he’s thick. Definitely thicker than Benny. I always thought he was packing but damn. Lost in my vision of Frankie’s dick, Benny pushes into me quickly and without warning, but it’s like my pussy had been waiting for him. 

“Benny,” I let out a satisfied moan as he bottoms out and he chuckles deeply.

He starts to set a pace and the 2 men work their magic on me, pulling me apart from the inside out in the most glorious way. My face taps into Frankie’s dick and I moan, moving my head to give it a lick. Frankie’s suction on my clit drops and I feel a huff of air on my wet pussy that ends in a groan from Frankie. Before he has a chance to answer, I lick him again, getting his dick ready before I slowly take him into my mouth. 

“Fuck querida. You-you’re gonna kill me.”

“Doesn’t she feel fantastic, Fish?” Benny echoes his sentiment from somewhere behind me as he continues to pound into me, hitting some spot at the very back of me. 

Frankie licks at me before I can respond, and I dig my fingers into his thighs. I’m just trying to stay afloat, pleasure coursing through me as I run full out towards my next ograsm. Judging by the way Benny’s hips are starting to thrust more and more erratically, he feels very similar. I yank my head off Frankie as I feel myself falling into bliss.

“Boys ‘m gonna…fuck!” That’s all the warning I can give each of them and I wonder if I’ll feel guilty later for absolutely soaking Frankie’s face as Benny rails into me a few more times before he cries out, pulling out quickly. I feel warmth spurting across my back as Benny comes, continuing to whimper as he winds down. My legs start to twitch as Frankie continues to lap at me for a few more moments. 

As Frankie slows, Benny pulls out of me and I feel his loss, a small whine of protest escaping me as I hear him move to the bathroom and wet a rag. He comes back and wipes my back down before leaning over and turning my head, placing a light kiss to my lips before he pulls back, a large grin on his face. 

“ ‘m gonna take a shower.”

Benny heads to the bathroom and the water turns on and I finally move to slide off of Frankie. He helps guide me off of him as my legs had completely given out, helping me to lay on my back. He slides up next to me and props himself up on his arm, his finger tracing lines across my chest, around my nipples, and dipping lower and lower towards my cunt with each pass.

“Are you ok, querida?”

“Mmm? Me? I’m fucking fantastic.” He chuckles, continuing to trace his lines so gently, my skin pimpling at his touch. But wait….Frankie didn’t…

“Frankie?”

“Yes?”

My eyes find his and he cocks his head slightly at my concerned expression. “You…you didn’t…I don’t think you…”

He shakes his head, but still has a small smile. “No, querida. But you did and that’s what I wanted.”

I move my hand to his cheek, lightly scratching his patchy beard hair as a sound rumbles in his chest.  

“Well, we can’t have that,” I say, trying to pull him on top of me as I bring him in for a kiss. Dammit, why is he strong?

“Querida, you don’t have to -”

“I don’t have to do anything, Frankie. But fuck I’ve wanted you both for so long. I just…I need to feel you inside me. Now.”

He kisses me hard, tongue exploring my mouth as he moves on top of me. I can feel him, hot and heavy as he pushes my legs wider with his knee before he notches himself at my entrance. Slowly, he inches his way inside me, watching my face as my head flings back into the bed, my mouth hanging open like an idiot. Fuck he just…He’s not as long as Benny but he’s definitely thicker and I feel like he’s splitting me open but I would beg for this. 

“Rough or slow, querida? We can always change it up next time.”

“N…next time? You mean, you’ll want to d-do this again?”

“Fuck yeah we will,” Benny’s voice comes from the doorway to the bathroom and Frankie nods his agreement, keeping his eyes on me. “But for now, I’ll give you two a moment.” Benny chuckles and closes the bathroom door behind him.

Frankie looks at me, his eyes searching my face for an answer.

“Lover’s choice,” I say, giving him a wink. “Besides - we can always switch it up next time.”

—----

General Taglist:

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[what-i-call-men]

Jiggle physics

Jeff Pfister x female!reader

Warnings: SMUT, dominant reader, sub Jeff, some degradation towards Jeff, a bit of voyeurism at the end (reader finds out mutt saw the whole thing)

Request: My fic thought for the night (up for grabs) but it’s Jeff pfister. Reader is a dancer/instructor and Jeff studies her for “jiggle physics”. Thought is definitely a smut

One again I am stealing a picture from @copy-of-a-cheeto because I love the icons they make. Thank you!!

Also thank you to @divineruler for proof reading

It was another day for you to begin with. You were working at a small gym in town after your other job hadn't really worked out. You were freshly graduated from college and needed somewhere to work while you looked for other opportunities, a gym was your best option. Now you weren't an avid gym person, but you did enjoy dancing so you ended up instructing a Zumba class. It was more of a hip hop class because your gym was right near a college town, and early 00s Spanish didn't reach college kids as much as hip hop and rap music.

This week you had specifically scheduled a dirty Thursday class, uncensored music and a lot of confidence boosting music. You were doing your last few songs, pushing everyone to their "sexy limits" as you put it. You had stripped off your tank top, now just in your sports bra and leggings. When you were stripping off your top, you had a few of your regulars whistle or cheer, some even joining you as they knew the choreography. You ended your last high energy song and started your cool downs, opting to leave the shirt off as you were definitely sweating right now.

The slow sounds of Just the two of Us by Grover Washington jr played through the speakers as you instructed your class to stretch out. As you faced them, you couldn't help but catch a glance of blonde hair from outside the glass doors to the room. It looked familiar but you couldn't put your finger on it as you continued your instruction. After you finished your cool down, you moved to gather your things as some of the students chatted with you. One of your best friends had walked out to run to the locker room and came back, running up to you and pinching your arm a bit. "You'll never guess who is outside looking for you." She whispered so others wouldn't hear.

Turning to her you rubbed the now pained part of your arm and raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Um I don't know, Ryan Reynolds ready to sweep me off my feet?" You asked and reached down to pick up your gym bag and tank top, choosing to toss it in the bag rather than putting it on. Your friend followed you out of the classroom with the rest of the remaining class. "No, it's fucking Jeff and Mutt from high school." She whispered and nodded to the front desk where they stood, talking to a receptionist. You looked at them for a second.

"And they have those same dumb haircuts from when they were 12." You choked back a quiet laugh as you approached the front desk. Mutt saw you first and then elbowed Jeff to look up at you. "Hey boys, long time no see." You said and walked up to the pair, holding out your membership card to the front desk people to clock you out. "What warrants such an abrupt visit from the resident horny weeb club." You said and led the boys out, your friend keeping a close distance behind the group.

"Hey y/n, can we talk to you alone? We have a job offer for you?" Mutt said and glanced at your friend. You stopped outside the gym and nodded to your friend to go to the car you shared. "What job could you two possibly have for me? Last I heard you guys were just trolling random people online and spam liking my Instagram pictures." You said and crossed your arms. You weren't really friends with the two in high school, but you did have a friendly teasing relationship with them, rather than really making fun of them like others did. You were really only nice because you never knew who'd end up going crazy, and you'd rather not be on someone's shit list.

"We recently ran into... a lot of money. And we wanted to hire you at our robotics company." Jeff said and gestured excitedly at you. He definitely was on something from the way he had a shake to his hands. "Uh... you two know I majored in archeology? I don't know the first thing past how to google." You said and looked mainly at Jeff. God if he didn't have that stupid haircut still, you'd be tempted to say he got hot. He's got a pretty good body and he looked pretty good in comparison to Mutt. It would help him a lot if he didn't still dress and look like he was 12.

"We're aware. It has nothing to do with your degree. Here, this is what you'd make if you come to work for us." Mutt grabbed a card from his pocket and a pen that hung from your bag pocket. When he handed you the paper you had to blink at the numbers for a second. "Annually?" "Weekly" Jeff corrected your question. You stared at the paper for a second. "How do I know you guys aren't just high or something? How'd you even find me?" You asked and Mutt and Jeff looked at each other before Jeff grabbed his keys from his pocket. He clicked the unlock button and a Rolls Royce beeped from where it was parked only a few spots away from where you stood. "If you're interested come pay us a visit." Mutt pointed at the business card he had handed you and the two walked to the car before you could say anything.

When you got home of course you researched the company name on the card. Kineros Robotics had made actual headlines and pictures of the men were on different sites about their sudden influx of money to their company from a generous anonymous donation. You glanced at the card and pursed your lips before pulling up Instagram, going to Jeff's page, glancing at the pictures he's posted and biting your lip. God you could really tell he was either still a virgin or very submissive in some sense. He wasn't like any of the gym bros that hit on you or messaged you. With a small surge of courage, you hit the 'message' button and typed out a quick text.

After messaging back and forth about the job opportunity for about two days, you found yourself standing outside the main entrance to the robotics lab. You walked down the hall to see glass doors and just a buzzer. You buzzed and were quickly let in. "You guys should get a receptionist or someth-" your words were cut off when you saw what was really in the room. There were humanoid robot figures and a lot of latex parts just laying around. A lot of these parts were tits or asses, all different shapes and sizes but there seemed to be something off with all of them.

"Hey I'm glad you made it. You can set yourself up in the room over there." Mutt said as he stared down at his computer. The room was all white, some windows around but pretty much all of them had shade covering them with little to no light peeking through. There was a pile of white powder sitting at each desk. Oh so they were coked out and making sex dolls. What the actual fuck did this have to do with you? "Set my stuff up...?" You asked softly and Jeff stood from his desk to lead you to the room.

"I didn't tell you what you were here for?" He asked as he opened the door to the next room. You shook your head and looked at the hardwood floor and speaker set up. "We need you to be a model. See... our last few latex prints came out... less than desirable- jiggle wise. Our math was way off and we need these to be as real as possible." Jeff said and walked to a small cabinet in the corner of the room. "I need you to put this on so we can monitor your motions to make our robots more realistic." He said and handed you what was barely any cloth. It looked like those dotted suits superheroes wore so their suits could be cgi but instead of a suit it was a bikini top and what is pretty much a skimpy pair of bottoms that were basically bathing suit bottoms with how little they covered.

"Jeff, you didn't mention this." You said and took the clothes slowly as he headed back out to the door. "Just put those on and I'll be back in a few." He said and glanced over your body again quickly before closing the door. You decided to send a quick text to your best friend- just a "here's what I'm doing in case I get murdered" text. After that you slipped the clothes on and stared at yourself in the mirror beside the little cabinet. You could tell this was a makeshift dance room. That was probably what they were looking for. Good thing jiggle physics was your thing in class.

Jeff came back a couple minutes later with a laptop in his hands. He stopped and gulped when he looked over your body in the skimpy outfit, quickly opting to sit on the ground as he monitored the points on the laptop. "Go ahead." He said and positioned the laptop on his lap, having to adjust himself a bit a couple of times. "Jeff... I need music." You said and moved to grab your phone, nodding to the speaker system, him shrugging and letting you do so. As you leaned over the speaker you glanced in the mirror beside you and he was very much staring right at your ass. God if he wasn't such a virgin you'd probably be disgusted. That was probably why they didn't know the right jiggle physics for a woman's body.

You started playing some of your best twerk music, trying to shake off how weird it was to have just Jeff staring at his computer then back to you as you danced. You tried to just close your eyes and get into the choreography as you ignored the awkwardness of Jeff obviously having a boner and you just twerking for him to collect data. You did a few hip swirls and then some quick shakes, glancing at yourself in the mirror. Honestly as you looked you didn't realize you had given Jeff a perfect look of your ass. He ran a hand through his hair as the song began to wrap up. You went to your phone to change the song and decided to strike up a small conversation.

"So… are you getting good data?" You asked and just got a simple nod from Jeff, his stupidly cute bowl cut bobbing back and forth as he nodded. "So you're making sex robots huh?" You asked as you looked through your playlist nonchalantly bending over a bit to give Jeff a good view of your chest. He once again responded with a nod as you started the next song. It was a bit more sexy than the last one. "Why don't you monitor the jiggle physics of sex then?" You asked as you lowered the volume of the song, starting your choreography, which included some moves where you're on the ground, shaking and bouncing as if you were riding someone. "I'm sure they are more accurate than me dancing." You said as you pushed yourself down to the ground chest first with your ass up and facing Jeff.

He adjusted a bit and you moved yourself a bit closer to where he was seated as he chose not to answer you. "If you want more accurate results Jeff, you need the jiggle physics of sex." You stated and gently moved the computer off his lap, placing it on the ground as you gently moved to straddle his legs. "The reason you and Mutt can't get the math right is because you need to really experience a woman's body during sex and neither of you could rope in a girl to fuck you for science. Am I right?" You asked Jeff as you leaned into him, settling yourself on his lap. His face was so red as his eyes kept flicking from your chest to your face. He just nodded silently to your question.

"Jeff, I'm gonna need you to verbally respond to me. I want to hear you say it." You said and ran your hands from his shoulders and down his chest. He took a deep shaky breath. "Fu- I need you to fuck me for science." He said softly and looked up to you as you tutted at him.

"No honey, the other thing." You said and pushed your fingers under the hem of his shirt. He gulped and took in another breath. "I can't get anyone to fuck me. Please y/n I need you." He pretty much whimpered under you as you pushed up to the balls of your feet, leaning forward and beginning to shake your ass a bit from where you sat on his lap. You rolled your hips slowly forwards and pushed your chest against his, leaning up next to his ear. "That's better." You whispered and then left a small wet kiss under his ear. Slowly working down his neck in small wet kisses and sucks.

You could feel his body tense as you reached down between you and gently palmed at him. God you could tell how hard he was without looking. You smirked a bit and continued to suck small hickies on his neck and under his ear as you quickly undid his button and fly, grabbing his dick from his boxers. Wow if you would've known he was packing you probably would've slept with him in high school, but everyone just assumed he wasn't and that was why he didn't get girls. You pumped him slowly and you could hear him let out small moans and whimpers, wanting to stay quiet on the off chance Mutt heard over the music.

As you pumped him you gently bit his earlobe to get his attention. "If you wanna get inside me baby, you gotta help me out." You said quietly and he nodded and willingly let you take his hands and place them on your ass. He gave a small gentle squeeze and you smirked as you felt him twitch in your hand. "God... fuck... holy shit..." he muttered as you rolled your hips against his thighs, wanting to at least stimulate yourself a little bit.

"You wanna make sure my monitoring is ok baby?" You whispered and he glanced over at the laptop, still reading the outfit you wore. You grabbed his cock again, now moving yourself to push your bottoms to the side. Slowly sinking down on to him, you could've sworn Jeff came right then. And he did. But that wasn't going to stop you from helping him out for the 'sake of science'. You grabbed his hands and placed them on your waist so as to not interfere with his readings. Slowly you began to bounce on him, feeling all parts of your body begin to bounce. Jeff was letting out the most sinful noises. Honestly it sounded like he only knew what moaning was from women in porn, but you didn't mind- honestly it was hot to have him be so responsive.

"Oh baby you're gonna be too loud, Mutt might interrupt us and you wouldn't want that would you? Don't want him to find you moaning like a whore for me." You said lowly as you reached up to gently squeeze his throat. He closed his mouth and nodded at you as you continued to bounce on him. God you could tell how close he was to coming again, but lord knows you weren't done with him. His moans got quieter but he still let out small whines from below you. You reached down to rub your own clit as you bounced on top of him. "Fuck baby, you wanna fuck me so bad? How about you get that data you need by pounding me from behind?" You muttered and climbed off of him.

He barely questioned you when you did so, only whining a little at the loss of contact. As you turned around and got on your knees, pushing your ass up in the air, he quickly moved to his own knees, pushing into you and beginning to thrust at a rapid pace. You could definitely tell his knowledge of sex is from video games and porn because he kinda went wild. He pounded hard and you couldn't help but moan out as he grabbed your waist with a tight grip. After he got a hang on his speed, he reached forwards and pulled you up, pushing you against the mirrored wall he had been leaning against, he paused momentarily to undo the bikini top, and as soon as it dropped to the ground he was grabbing your tits from behind.

You pushed back against him, your face now pushed against the foggy mirror as he thrusted into you hard. "Fuck.... fuck y/n." He grunted out quietly as his thrust became more sporadic and sloppy. You could tell he was gonna come again, so you reached behind your head and grabbed his hair firmly. "You're not coming again until I cum. You fucking hear me?" You groaned as he continued to thrust into you. He nodded and reached around in front of you, fumbling for your clit for a moment before you corrected his hand placement and showed him the correct movement. He rubbed quickly and in pace with his thrusts, you could tell from his look in the mirror that he was trying so hard not to cum.

As soon as you finally reached the edge, you let out a loud and pretty pornographic moan of his name mixed with some swearing and praises. "God... fuck Jeff you feel so good in me. I want you to cum baby. I want you to cum in me baby." You thrusted back on him and kept your hand firmly tugging at his hair. It was only seconds before he was coming in you, his own face twisted in pleasure as you looked at him through the mirror. He slowed to a stop and slowly removed himself from you. You only caught your breath for a couple moments before there was a knock on the door.

"Hey those were good readings, we're gonna need you here again tomorrow so we can get some other position readings." Mutt called through the door. You looked at Jeff. "Could he see the reading the whole time?" You asked Jeff quietly. He bit his lips and nodded. "I assumed you knew because you saw this room through the glass when you walked in." Jeff said and pointed to the mirror which was in fact a one way mirror you had seen walking in from the lab, which you falsely assumed was a window because of the shade. "So mutt saw the whole thing?" You asked softly, slowly piecing everything together. Jeff nodded, scared you were gonna be upset. You only shrugged and reached over to gently grab his throat again. "Guess now he knows how good of a whore you are for me then." And god if he hadn't just come, Jeff probably would've come again from that action alone. Damn you were gonna have fun working here.

[kimnjss]

ruining his shirt | reaction

NAMJOON

Sat around the TV with his friends, even with the amount of sitting space in Taehyung's living room, you were quick to get yourself comfortable in Namjoon's lap. He didn't mind, of course. Wrapped his arms around you and held your body close to his chest as the plot of the movie played out in front of you.

Movie nights were a common occurrence within your friend group. Always held at Taehyung's house because he had the largest television. It was Joon who had started the trend of bringing their girlfriend's along, turning their guys night into something fun for all of you to do together.

Yoongi is coming out of the kitchen, two boxes of pizza in either hand while Hoseok follows behind him with the other two. The lids being pulled back to reveal the cheesy goodness inside. Mouth watering at the sight, you don't hesitate to reach forward. Grabbing out two pieces, one for you and the an snuggled into your back.

Joon is taking the slice with a mumbled, “Thanks,” eyes glued to the screen as an argument builds between the main characters. You're unbelievably comfortable in his arms, cheek pressed against his shoulder.

It's the unexpected slap on the screen that has your body jumping, a small gasp falling from your lips. Namjoon is jumping too, but not for the same reason as you. Your sudden movement had a greasy glob of cheesy sliding from the top of your pizza onto your boyfriend's stomach.

Neither of you move for a full minute, staring at the pepperoni staining his otherwise white shirt. A look of annoyance on his face but it doesn't last long, fading into a soft smile the moment he's acting sight of the apologetic pout forming on your lips.

“I'm sorry, baby.” You're scrambling to get a napkin to clean up your mess, only to be stopped by the gentle palm on your leg. “Don't worry about it, love.” He's taking the napkin from your hand to finish the job, before pressing a few soft kisses to your forehead. “All better,”

His arm is back around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Easily settling back into the relaxed mode he was in before the spill. With you in his arms, his ruined shit was the last thing on his mind.

JIN

Jin was rather spontaneous when it came to your relationship. Hardly ever called you up to plan a date ahead of time, more often than not you were getting a call a few hours before he was showing up at your front door. If you were lucky.

Most days, you loved that about hm. Never knowing when he'd be showing up at your door with his pouty lips claiming how he couldn't stop thinking about you so he just had to rush right over. Never once would you hesitate to invite him in, more excited than the last when you got a chance to hang out with him.

Today was different, though. Not to say you didn't want to see him – you always wanted to see him. But today was one of the extremely rare occasions where he had set up a date with you. Wanted to take you out for lunch after you finished your exams, knowing how hard you've been working the past few weeks.

He had told you about this at the beginning of the week and you should've had it imprinted in your mind, but with everything else you had clouding your mind – your lunch date unfortunately took the back seat.

So imagine your shock when Jin's name is lighting up your phone. A one line message letting you know he's on his way to pick you up. It's in that moment that it's all rushing back and you're springing out of bed to get ready. You're still wearing his shirt that you mindlessly threw on after your shower as you rummage through your makeup bag. Desperate not to look like you've spent the entire morning in bed scrolling through Twitter.

Caution to spills is the  least of your worries as you rush to get pretty. Seokjin's shirt seems to catch everything that misses your face and even more when you're startling at the sound o the doorbell. Only a courtesy because he knows our door code. He's walking in just as you're tying your hair into a proper ponytail.

Eyes rolling playfully at the sight of you only half ready. He's pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, eyes fining yours in the mirror and dropping to the stains on your shirt. “I was looking for that shirt the other day,”

You're taking the moment to look down at the top, noticing for the first time the mess you've made of it. But when you're catching Jin's gaze, he looks the least bit upset. “I'm sure it'll wash right out,” He's sinking onto your bed with a shrug of his shoulder.

“Don't worry about it,” Long arms stretching over his head before he's laying back on the bed. “It's your shirt now anyway,” Such a simple sentence, one that he probably didn't think too much about. But it has a large smile lifting your cheeks.

YOONGI

Another late night spent in the studio, with you pestering Yoongi to eat something more than the bag of chips that he had opened on his desk. You're met with an eye roll and a huff, his eyes staying focused on the computer screen in front of him.

He didn't even budge when you're were bringing in his favorite meal, announcing it loudly while wafting the delicious scent in his direction. Somehow, you manage to fight your way into his lap. Lifting up a mouthful and holding it out to him. Barely paying attention, but unable to resist is jaw is dropping open and you're pushing the food into his mouth.

The timing is off at one point, he's opening his mouth just a bit too late and you're not looking so the hot noodles are landing on his clean beige top. He's registering the heat on his stomach, brow furrowing before he's looking down at the mess you've made. He's annoyed, you can tell because he was trash at hiding it. Although he didn't want to take it out on you, it didn't take a genius to know that he felt some type of way of you ruining his shirt.

Yoongi doesn't bring it up again, but you saw the look on his face when he had to toss the garment away – not being able to get the stain out. And the way his face lights up when you're surprising him on his day off. A black shopping bag in hand with the bold 'FG' printed on the side. The exact shirt you had ruined days before neatly folded inside.

The corners of his eyes crinkle as his smile grows, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to tug you closer to him. He's pressing a dozen kisses to your forehead, before he's pulling back to pull the shirt he's currently wearing off replacing it with his new one.

Your heart swells when he's thanking you with that gummy smile, leaning down to press his lips to yours.

HOSEOK

Both Jin and Jungkook came rushing into the room covered head to toe in paint. Laughing loudly and pulling your attention from your phone to them. A paintball fight they were having outside is what has them dripping paint on to the living room floor. Only in for a second, so Jungkook can get a drink of water.

“What are you doing?” Had just been re-watching Catfish from season one, trying to waste time until Hoseok was coming back home.

He's inviting you to come to and play with them and you're hopping up with very little hesitation. Rushing to follow the two of them outside, not even thinking to change the clothes you're wearing.

Instead, you're jumping right into playing with them. Running around the yard and laughing as paint splatters onto your legs and arms... and clothes. The free you of end up collapsing with laughter on to the grass, breathing heavily from all the running you've been doing.

Not even the slam of the car door in the driveway has you jolting up, Jimin's voice hitting your ears as he's exiting the car. Taehyung is a few steps behind him and your boyfriend after that. They're walking to see what you're up to.

Urging yourself to stand, you're moving to tackle your boyfriend in a hug but he's stopping you before you can reach him. Eyes dropping to the stained shirt on your body. “Is that my shirt?” It's the first time that you're taking a moment to look down at the shirt that you've got on.

Only now remembering how you had slipped into his white grocery bag top today after your shower. Had planned to change into your own clothes sometime later that day, but never got around to it. And now the white was splattered in rainbow paint.

“Oh, baby. I'm so...” You can tell just from the look on his face that he's not pleased. Can't even blame him for being upset, you had been careless. “It's acrylic paint... it'll come right out,” Jungkook is stepping in, attempting to ease the awkward tension that grows.

It's a stupid thing to be mad about, so arguing isn't on his mind at all. He's simply sighing, running his fingers through his hair before mumbling out, “Just wash it, I guess.” He doesn't say anything else, taking one last look at his stained shirt before leaving to enter the house.

JIMIN

With his lips pressed to your ear, his breathy moans fan over skin. Hidden from the rest of the party goers, he's trying his best to stay quiet. But it's extremely hard with your hand in his pants, stroking him to his end.

Jimin has a tight grip on your hips, desperately trying to keep himself grounded somehow. You had been eyeing him from across the room since he showed up at this party, didn't miss your chance with going up to him. Flirting the best way you knew how until the two of you were dancing unbelievably close on the dance floor.

And as it does, one thing led to another leading up til now. Huddled together in a dark corner with your hand down his pants and his lips on your neck. “Fuck, I'm so close...” His voice has your skin prickling with goosebumps.

The alcohol that cruises through your veins being drown out with the feeling of intoxication you get from being around him. Feeling of him surrounding you with his sweet scent. It's no secret to you, or any of your friends the crush you had on this boy. The obvious flirting that took place between the two of you enough to raise a few eyebrows, but was never surprising.

Jimin's hips seem to mindlessly move with the strokes of your hand. Shuddering when you're running the pad of your thumb over the head of it. It's not long before his hushed moans become desperate whines against your ear. His grip on your hips tightening as the arousal rakes through his body, creating a stiffness in his legs.

He's grunting out your name just moments before he's releasing, with your hand out of the way his cum is staining the bottom of his black shirt with white. Teeth scrape against your skin as he comes down, eyes screwed shut.

You're not pulling your hand from his body until he's completely winded down. Breathing heavily against your skin. His gaze dropping when you're moving your hand from his body, catching sight of the wet marks on his shirt. The sight has his cheeks burning red and you can't hold back from teasing him.

“See the big mess you made?” He's letting out a breathy chuckle, leaning down only to capture your lips with his. Jimin kisses you slowly for a moment, allowing his tongue to twist and push with yours before he's pulling back.

Butterflies rise in your belly at the sight of the sultry grin on his face. Only getting worse with the words that follow. “Should I make a mess of you too, then?”

TAEHYUNG

An impromptu barbecue with Tae and his closest friends is the best way to spend a summer night in your opinion. Night swimming with Yoongi before racing Jungkook to the table with the plan of loading up your plates in mind.

Sandwiched between Taehyung and Namjoon, the three of you hanging on to every word coming out of Hoseok's mouth, the story of Jimin trying ad failing to get some girls attention holding the attention of everyone at the table. Except for Jimin who acts like you're all sitting in silence.

Taehyung has his arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding your body snuggled close into the side. Only releasing you when Jin is coming to the table with a second tray of food. But once he's picked out all he wants to eat, he's pulling you close again.

Days like this were definitely on the top of your list. Being able to be with hi, relax with him made you happy. Your relationship with Taehyung was... interesting to say the least. Not one hundred together, but one thousand percent exclusive. It was like the two of you had this mutual understanding of the lines you shouldn't cross and never even tried to.

From the way he treated and acted around you, it didn't take a lot of thinking to put together the fact that he had feelings for you. And you had feelings for him too, just neither of you have made the move to make things official, so they just stayed the way they were.

Hoseok's story is coming to a close, the conversation shifting on to Jungkook and the plans that he was supposed to keep open tomorrow. You're no longer listening, just simply enjoying yourself in your man's strawberry scented embrace, mentally bouncing from conversation to conversation as you settle in his hold.

So wrapped up i your own thoughts, you're not paying as much attention as you should when you're setting your drink back on the table. The cup set perfectly on the edge that it's teetering the moment you're letting go, toppling over and landing in Taehyung's lap. Dirtying his pretty sky blue top with red fruit juice.

“Oh, shit! I'm sorry!” Scrambling to grab some napkins, but Taehyung is quick to stop to you. Barely jumped when the liquid was sweeping through the fabric. Soft lips stretching into an easy smile as he reaches for the edge of his shirt. In one swift movement, he's pulling it up and over his head. Tossing it away without a second thought.

You're being pulled back into his side immediately after he's refilling your cup. Slipping back into the conversation that he had been in before as if nothing had interrupted him in the first place.

And for some reason, you can't help but smile. Finding yourself relaxing back into his side stupid feelings growing for him. Times ten.

JUNGKOOK

“Kookie,” Jungkook is looking up confused at your sheepish tone, eyebrows furrowed when he sees the way you're standing in the doorway of your shared bedroom. You look like a child on their way to confess to breaking their mom's favorite vase. And in a sense you were.

Your boyfriend was real meticulous when it came to doing the laundry, separated the clothes in three different loads to avoid any bleeding. You, on the other hand didn't really care for the difference. “What happened, baby?” He's sitting up, eyes landing on the balled up shirt you have clutched in your hands.

His favorite gray Carhartt t-shirt blotchy with bleach stains. Extending your hand, you're holding the ruined shirt in his direction. “I tried to do the laundry...” He had been so busy lately, all you wanted you do was take one thing off his plate. “I don't know what went wrong...”

“This is not a white shirt, Yn.” Jungkook is taking the shirt from your hands, spreading it out to fully inspect the damage you've done. His brows creasing and a frustrated pout forming on his lips. “Baby, you can't put bleach..”

Catching sight of the look on his face has a defeated sigh falling from his lips. Setting the shirt aside, Jungkook is lifting his arms to reach for you. Gently pulling you where he sits on the bed.” Lets just have me do the laundry from now on, okay?”

“I just wanted to help... you always do it,” He's shushing you with a soft kiss to the tip of your nose, brushing the hair back on your forehead so he can get a better look at your face. Pushing a smile onto his lips, he's telling you that it's okay – even though you know he's a bit bummed by the fact you've ruined his favorite shirt.

No matter how many times he insists that he doesn't care, you're still ordering the exact shirt that you've ruined. A couple sizes too big, knowing how much he enjoyed clothes that were big on him. He kisses you the moment you're walking through the doors, enclosing you into his warm embrace.

Hidden behind your back is the shirt you bought and his fingers are catching it as his hands roam your body. The soft giggles that leave your lips are breaking the kiss, forcing him to peak at what you have hidden behind your back. “Is that a gift for me?” His brows are lifting with his inquiry, grinning at the nod of your head.

Jungkook is pressing a kiss to your puckered lips, at the same time his arms are snaking around to tug the the shirt from your grasp. Pulling back from your lips with one final kiss, before he's lifting the shirt into his view. “Shut up, baby. You got this for me?”

“I know you were bummed about me ruining the first one,” He's happy about the shirt, of course. Appreciated the fact that you went out and replaced it. But at the height of that, he was happiest that he had you.

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[fishmech]

on the myopia of people who have barely been online reminiscing on bullshit that never happened

Recently found the corresponding website for the short-lived print magazine "Internet Underground" - a magazine that had been founded by a major publisher in 1995 to capitalize on the previous year's opening of the internet beyond (generally) educational/research institutions, the government, the military, and related contractor corporations. Essentially the way it was founded is that they just hired a bunch of college students and people freshly out of college on journalism and design majors because they knew that a) they could pay them like shit in exchange for giving them Real Publishing Jobs to put on a resume and b) the colleges they were hiring out of had established internet usage.

This essay complaining about how the author believed the internet and web in particular of early 1997 was so fallen from the glory days of 1995 accompanied the 4th to last published issue of the magazine - the whole publication went bust with the "July/August 1997" issue of the magazine. What I find absolutely hilarious about it that by his own admission on his user profile elsewhere on the site is that at this point he hadn't even spent a full 2 years online - and for that matter I, personally, had been first online as a small child by late 1994!

So I can say unequivocally that this guy was kinda full of shit. Because by the time this dude, by his admission, first started using the web there were already thousands of commercial websites and ads and all that nonsense happening. And the internet was very small then, so the fact that it was thousands was very notable.

Let's put this in perspective: by the end of 1994 the web had hit approximately 10,000 distinct websites. Among the very very commercial website already existing by the end of 1994 was Bloomberg, MTV, Wired Magazine (who pioneered banner ads in 1994), the BBC (operating restricted commerical projects for funding related reasons), Cybersell (a site that was an open seller of spamming services, the worst form of ads), The Economist, First Virtual (something of a predecessor to paypal), Pizza Hut (which started online pizza ordering, albeit with the 1994 offerings being restricted to Santa Cruz, California deliveries), Powells Books, and VirtuMall (a service that provided ecommerce functions for a bunch of big name businesses). And that's not even counting all the piles of military contractors, computer/software companies, and all the rest that had already been online sometimes as far back as the 60s, and had had long established marketing presences as that started to become allowed in the late 80s! Yes, we're talking shit from IBM to Raytheon.

And sure, there were a lot of "amateur" and "hobbyist" sites. But there's a very key thing to keep in mind here - the vast majority of that was on university/corporate servers with space provided for hosting to students/faculty/employees and thus already under the thumb of some pretty big institutions - and if you crossed arbitrary lines you could get your access pulled pretty quickly. A lot of others were of course paid hosting at already established multimillion dollar companies, and people being given favors of free subhosting (one of the sites the guy mentions in the article is one of the cases, and the moaning over how the site had to hop providers is very funny). And then of course, if you basically had a pretty decent source of income, you could pay substantial amounts of money to host for yourself. This was not really a world where just anyone could hop in and be able to show off what they were doing!

Why's this all important? Basically we still see the same shit happening today but people tell the myth of the "non-corporate internet" about increasingly more ridiculous times to do so, like the 2000s, or even the early 2010s! And usually what it ends up being is that x time they think is non-corporate is around about the time that the person started first actively using the internet, when they were typically much more impressed by using it vs able to accurately notice who was controlling shit. And this guy is the same way, he gets online in fuckin May 1995 and he hasn't yet started paying attention to the full scope of the internet yet, so he remembers that time as just the cool weird sites he saw without giving it much thought. But we cut to March 1997 and he's already been working on a whole ass magazine about the internet, both as writer and webmaster, and so now he can really notice trends that were already very in place when he started.

But he doesn't bother to put it together, he just lets his vague memories of "22 months ago was great!" be his guidepost. E-commerce and advertising and all the rest was already responsible for many many millions of dollars spent and invested before he ever logged on, but he interprets it as a development that happened after he started using the internet. It's very reminiscent of the people today who choose to believe that there's only X evil corporate sites around anymore, and this article shows the same frankly blinkered and myopic view of the internet has been repeatedly popping up for a solid 24 years lol.

[obxfics]

Birthday Surprise

summary: it’s John B’s birthday, and you and the Pogues have something up your sleeves.

pairing: john b x reader

word count: 2,342

requested by @libby-rose-2016​

a/n: i hope this is okay! you didn’t have anything specific and this is actually the second idea i tried out lmao. hope you enjoy it!

“Does everyone understand their missions?”

You, Kie, and Pope all nodded in response to JJ’s question as the four of you huddled together in the van. JJ was taking his job as mission leader very seriously, and had surprised everyone by printing out agendas from the computers at his job at the Country Club. You all had snuck out and met up in front of the Chateau earlier in the morning to brainstorm, and every minute of it you were afraid John B would wake up and catch on to what y’all were planning.

“y/n,” JJ whispered, catching your attention again from where it had been drifting. “Stick to the agenda, okay? We’re on a tight schedule which means no macking unless I specifically wrote it in, got it?”

You stifled a laugh and saluted him, your game face unwavering. Today was important, and you couldn’t afford to fuck things up. You all had a job to do.

“We’ll be waiting here for your signal,” Pope said as he gave you an encouraging pat on the back. “You’ve got this.”

You and Kie clasped arms for a second, communicating good luck with your eyes, before you stood up and quietly rolled the door open. You offered the other three on last salute and set off towards John B’s porch. You carefully hopped around on the creaky ass wood, having done this enough times during your late night rendezvous with John B when JJ had been passed out on the couch and you had to sneak past him. Finally you slipped through the screen door and you were inside. You gave yourself a quick victory fist bump before getting back to business and tip-toeing to John B’s room. As you opened the door, you felt your gaze soften at the sigh of your boyfriend’s sleeping form. He looked so cute and peaceful, so you felt a little bad about what you were about to do.

A yell left John B’s throat when you leapt onto him and screamed, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

There were a couple seconds when he flailed around thinking he was being attacked, but he quickly calmed down when he realized it was just you peppering his face with kisses.

“What the hell was that?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around you to prevent you from pulling back.

“A birthday surprise, duh.”

“Hell of a surprise, sweetheart. I thought someone was trying to murder me.”

“Nope, just my cute ass!”

He grinned at you and gently smacked your ass, causing you to roll your eyes.“I love your cute ass.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he dragged you down into a kiss, the sweet, lazy sort you loved to receive when the two of you had just woken up. Had it been any other time, you would not have hesitated to deepen it and spend the next hour in bed with him, but you forced yourself to remember you were on a mission. John B let out a cute whine when you managed to pull away and slip out of his arms.

“Why’d you stop? It’s my birthday,” he whined, crossing his arms and giving you a little pout. “Don’t I get a birthday present?”

“Oh, sweetpea, you get to spend the whole day with me. We’ve got plenty of time for your present later,” you promised with a wink. “As for right now, we gotta get you ready for brunch!”

“What do you mean?”

You grabbed his hands and started pulling him up, happy that he decided to help you instead of being difficult. You smiled up at him once he was on his feet, wrapping your arms around his waist and preening under his soft gaze.

“My dad’s making you a birthday brunch, and even managed to rope in my brothers to help.” You reached down to pat his butt and said, “Get your ass dressed so we can eat some food!”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and moved back to get to his dresser. You sat on his bed, doing your best to somewhat make it while not getting up.

“What about the others?”

“JJ’s got work until six, Kie is under lockdown until tonight when she can sneak out, and Heyward has Pope delivering shit all over the island. We’ll hopefully meet up tonight, but the boys will be exhausted so who knows.”

You bit your lip to hide a smile when you saw John B grumpily pull a shirt over his head.

“But it’s my birthday.”

You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist to press a kiss against his clothed back.

“I know, JB, and they would all be here if they could, but JJ could lose his job if he missed, Kie’s parents would probably kill us if she tried to leave right now, and you know how Pope gets when he disappoints his dad.”

John B sighed, but you saw him nod. He understood what you were saying. At least you could be here, and damn did your dad know how to cook.

Your parents ran a restaurant that was especially popular with the Kooks for their weekend brunches, and although your mother had been raised in the Figure Eight as a Kook, she didn’t marry rich. Your dad had a humble upbringing down on the Florida Gulf Coast, but had moved here once he was married to your mom. Your mother, and surprisingly your grandparents, had long ago given up the whole Kook vs Pogue mentality, and your whole family loved the boys. There had even been a few times when JJ had gone to sleep at your grandparents’ place instead of the Chateau; the allure of a soft bed, warm shower, and home-cooked meal was too strong for him to resist.

Your two older brothers had both graduated and were off in college doing their own thing—the oldest studying hard and the middle enjoying the party scene—but y’all were still close, and when they were in town they both on occasion would take the time to surf or fish with the Pogues. Your family had all but adopted your friends, and it showed in the effort they put into celebrating each of their birthdays.

“What’s on the menu?” John B asked as he let you lead him out of the house by his hand. “Is Papa y/l/n making those bomb ass waffles and pancakes he made for Pope’s birthday?”

“Would you just be patient and wait until we get there?”

“You have no idea do you.”

“…Bitch.”

John B laughs and squeezes your hand. As the two of you pass by the Volkswagen, you whistle, signally for your other friends to sneak into the house and get started on their mission. You quickly dragged John B down for a kiss when you thought you heard the van door slide open and grass rustle as your friends ran for the house. You knew from experience that your boyfriend had a habit of drowning out the world around him when you kissed. He tried to follow when you pulled back, causing you to laugh and push him towards the driver’s side of the van.

“I don’t think it’s fair that you keep teasing me on my birthday,” he grumbled after starting up the Volkswagen. “You should be nicer to me.”

“I’m sorry baby,” you cooed. “I promise that I’ll stop teasing you. I just don’t want to be late for brunch, and have my brothers tease you on your birthday more than I’m teasing you right now.”

“They’ll still tease us. They always do.”

“Well you are dating the baby of the family.”

“Are your grandparents going to be there?”

“Of course! I think they might be gifting you a weekend at their vacation home down in the Keys.”

You laughed at the look on John B’s face. “I keep telling y’all that they love you more than they love their actual grandkids.”

“Fuck, I love your grandparents.”

“What about me?”

Now it was his time to laugh at you. He chanced a quick kiss to your lips before focusing completely on the road.

“You know you’re still my favorite, sweetheart.”

John B let out a low whistle when he pulled up to your family’s restaurant. Your dad couldn’t afford to close the place down for the day no matter how much he wanted to, so the balcony was filled with Kooks in their Sunday best. Your boyfriend felt immensely underdressed for his own birthday celebration. Sensing his discomfort, you slipped your hand into his and laced your fingers together.

“Come on, love, let’s go eat so much we explode.”

He couldn’t help the huge smile that grew on his face or the tears that formed in his eyes when he walked into the restaurant and saw your family waiting for him. They popped a few confetti poppers and rushed to hug him. You took a step back to allow your family to completely surround John B in their love. Your mother and grandmother kissed him on his cheeks, and your dad wished his “son-in-law” a very happy birthday. John B received firm pat on the back from your grandfather who couldn’t keep the fondness from his eyes as he grinned at your boyfriend. And then of course your brothers teased him for the look on his face when he walked in.

You walked up to him after your family had dispersed, feeling your heart melt at the watery smile you received. You cradled his face in your hands, kissing away any tear that managed to escape.

“Are you happy?” you asked.

He brushed his nose along the bridge of yours and let out a soft sigh. “I am so happy. Thank you for all this.”

“I mean, my parents did most of it.”

“No, thank you for bringing me into your family.”

His eyes closed as you ran your fingers through his thick locks and tugged lightly. “Of course, honey. I love you so much.”

“Believe me, not as much as I love you,” he whispered, bringing his lips closer to yours.

“Hey, lovebirds!” your oldest brother yelled. “You gonna eat or what?”

“I’ll kill him,” you promised, causing John B to laugh.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get some food.”

You spent most of the afternoon with your family. Like you had predicted, your grandparents had gifted John B with a weekend getaway at their place in the Keys, and he had met your eyes, the promise of a romantic trip hidden in the hazel depths. You had left him with your brothers and mother as you went to go help your father wash the dishes.

“He looks happy,” your dad observed. “He deserves it, all the shit that boy has gone through.”

“He likes the family, thank god. I think he’s still surprised Kooks like him.”

“What’s there not to like? He’s smart, polite, and he treats my baby well.”

“Dad, thank you. For, you know, accepting the Pogues.”

“God only knows the shit they get from everyone else,” your dad sighed. “They’re good kids, and I’m glad I can offer them a safe place to eat and stay when things get tough.” He reached out to touch your cheek. “And they make you happy.”

Your phone buzzed on the counter. You dried off your hands to check and saw a text from Kie. It was time. You rejoined the rest of your family and bent down to whisper in John B’s ear.

“I think it’s time for your birthday present, don’t you think?”

Suddenly he was sitting up straighter, causing you to laugh. You knew that would work to get him to leave without him getting suspicious.

“We have to go meet up with the others,” you explained to your family.

Your family were quick to say their goodbyes and send the both of you off with hugs and kisses. You almost felt bad seeing how eager John B was to get home, but you knew he would still like the surprise waiting for him.

The sun was low on the horizon when the van finally pulled up to the Chateau, and you hurried to cover John B’s eyes, causing him to let out a scoff.

“What’s this?”

“Just keep walking, will you?”

“I can’t see anything, honey,” he drawled.

“Don’t get sassy with me, John B. You’ve made this walk plenty of times drunk off your ass, so I think you can manage it now.”

Finally you managed to get him to move forward until he was standing right where you wanted him. A giddy feeling rose in you when you removed your hands from his eyes and hurried to join JJ, Kie, and Pope under the large tree in the yard. You watched as John B took in his surroundings.The other three had spent the whole afternoon covering the branches of the tree and lining the roof of the house with string lights, but the main point of the whole surprise was the picnic all set up beside JJ’s jacuzzi. A whole feast (prepared by your family) was spread out, and you were impressed with how the “Happy Birthday, John B” sign had turned out. It wasn’t anything fancy, but John B could see how much effort was put behind it.

“You guys are insane,” he breathed out. “You assholes actually planned something like this? What are we, Kooks?”

You could hear him start crying as the four of you embraced him. He loved you guys; you all were his family, and his family had done all this for him. He realized that it took the whole afternoon for them to do this, and that’s why you had dragged him out with your family the whole time.

“I love you guys,” he whispered.

“Aw, shit, we love you too, John B,” JJ said.

“We’re family,” Pope added.

“And this is just what family does,” Kie laughed.

“Happy Birthday, John B,” you finished.

[boymeetsweevil]

And then there were two

Grouping: Reader x College BF!Mark (NCT)

Word Count: ~3.48k

Warnings/Themes: non-graphic first time, too many friends with too little boundaries

Prompt: “what do u think abt college bf mark and awkward and fumbling first time”

The dorm is suspiciously quiet when Mark enters. There’s no sound of the XBox going, no sound of raucous laughter, no sound of beer bottles clinking. It’s almost as if you’re alone in your dorm. Odd.

“Mark?” You call from the common area shared by you and your suitemates. “Is that you?”

“Yeah.”

He finds you curled up on the couch, biting at your nails with your computer at your lap.

“Hey. Did you get your test results back yet?”

“I mean, the portal is open. I just haven’t checked it yet.” A sigh ghosts past your lips. “I don’t know if I passed this one. And if I don’t pass, I’ll have to retake the class later.”

“Want me to open it for you?”

“Please.”

Mark makes his way over, arms behind his back as he hides the treasure he brought with him. Once he’s seated you slide your laptop over to him like you can’t get it away fast enough and push yourself back until you’re at the opposite end of the couch. Your toes are the closest thing to him and you wedge them under his thigh while he types in your password from memory.

“Class average was a...64. Yikes,” he reads off that stats from the exam’s page.

“Yeah. It was a doozy.”

“Okay, let’s see. Woah, you got an 83.”

“What,” you shout.

“Nerd.”

Your eyes grow wide and you lunge forward to yank the computer away, hoping that he’s not messing with you. Mark laughs, nose scrunching at you as you take in the actual 83 on your exam’s results screen. The hoarse little shriek you let out is so cute that his heart aches a bit.

“The prof said she was adding a curve for this one. 6 points, she said.”

“Congrats, baby—oof!” 

Mark’s back hits the arm of the couch with a thud, taking the brunt of the force from your tackle. It’s a bit awkward but you still manage to get your limbs around him and squeeze. A breathy chuckle floats up from where you bury your face in his neck.

“I was so nervous. I hate Orgo so much.”

“I know, but you work so hard. How could you not do well?”

“Thanks,” you say once you pull back. Your eyes are velvet soft with relief and fondness as you look him over. 

You press a soft kiss to his lips and Mark presses back for a moment before pulling back with a jerk. Somehow you’ve ended up in the splayed V of his knees as a pleasant weight in his lap. Not an often occurrence.

“I, uh, I might have brought you something,” he mumbles against the skin of your cheek when you kiss the hinge of his jaw. His eyes and voice go gravelly and dark at your proximity.

“What is it?” You sit back on your heels with a staccato bounce. 

“Chicken Haus.”

From the side of the couch he brandishes a large paper bag with a familiar crowing chicken logo printed on the brown surface. The thin paper barrier does nothing to keep the smell from wafting over to you.

“Oh, did you get fries? Let me see!”

“Ah, ah!” He moves the bag out of your reach, causing you to stumble forward. Your glare down at him but all he does is cackle in response. “Say please,” he sing-songs.

“Dude, come on. This isn’t kindergarten!”

“So, I’m ‘dude’ now?” He sniffs and moves to put the chicken back. “Alright, I see how it is.”

“Mark—Mark, wait! Mark, my man. My super capable, handsome man. Please. Let me see the chicken.”

“Nice,” he hands you the bag, trying his hardest not to be flustered by your performance.

There’s a small mountain of your favorites in the bag and you do a little dance before hopping off the couch and making a beeline to the small communal kitchenette.

“Did you eat dinner already?”

“Yeah, I had some stuff at the studio.” 

You turn to give him a little disappointed pout. “Still, come sit with me!”

Mark ambles over with a pleased smile on his face. As you look for napkins he admires the straight way you hold your back. The university is notorious for its cutthroat biology major but you’re not the competitive type. So exam weeks are especially hard on you. You always end up stressed and shrunken in on yourself and Mark hates to see it. Few things cheer you back up right away. One of them is the atomic spicy nuggets from Chicken Haus.

“Should we eat in your room,” Mark asks. Your mutual friend Jungwoo, who introduced you and Mark, usually has virtual tutoring at this hour. Mark always feels bad for interrupting him, but normally you’d share some of your congratulatory nuggets with him.

“We don’t have to this time. Jungwoo went home for his mom’s graduation and Doyoung’s at a public health conference.”

“Oh. They didn’t tell me that.”

“Mark,” you let out an incredulous laugh when you finally open the box. “I think you got too many nuggets this time.”

Mark looks down at the party-sized box he handed over a hefty portion of this week’s paycheck for. He supposes it’s a lot for two people to eat, but the dorm is usually overflowing with friends. Tonight he bought a lot out of habit and none of the people he expected to be over are actually present.

“Shit. Are none of the guys coming over?”

“Mm, I don’t know. What’s Johnny up to?”

Mark wracks his brain for his friends’ whereabouts. “Uhh, I think I remember him saying he was gonna go visit his girlfriend at her school. So, I guess he’s not coming. 

“Okay,” you sit at one of the stools. “And Taeil and Haechan?”

“Probably, like, playing Fortnite or something.”

“I know Taeyong said he had some work he had to do for his design class, so he’s definitely not coming.” You bite down into a nugget finally and let out a soft moan. “This never gets old.”

Suddenly Mark is hungry again. When he grabs a napkin and a plate you give a gloating smirk.

“I think Yuta’s probably just asleep,” you say after you’ve finished moaning around another chicken nugget.

“That just leaves Jaehyun, I think.”

“I mean, I can text him and invite him over if you want me to.”

Before you can reach for your phone, Mark’s free hand covers yours. You can’t help but laugh a little. Jaehyun and Mark may be good friends, but you know Mark is still a little wary since Jaehyun tried to hit on you the first night you met everyone. There’s no hard feelings, though. According to Mark.

“N-no, you don’t have to. He’s probably just enjoying the night in. Let’s...leave him be.”

“Okay,” you grin and take another bite.

After you finish eating, you make the decision to migrate back to the couch to check out some of the stuff on your DVR. Doyoung has dominated most of the drive space but there’s some shows that you know Mark likes. You tape them on the off chance that he comes over and no one else has something else they want to watch instead.

“Should we watch that zombie series,” Mark asks as he scrolls through the listings.

“I hate their graphics.”

“I know,” he snorts. “But it’s funny how mad you get at their fake blood. Might be fun to watch.”

“If you really wanna watch you can, but I’m not looking. I’m just gonna make myself comfy here, instead.”

You say all this as you proceed to stretch yourself over Mark’s already lounging form. You slot yourself between his thighs before hitching a leg up over his hip. Your head is pillowed by his shoulder and you cage him in with your arms.

“We don’t have to watch it. It’s more fun to watch with Yuta anyway. He always screams so loud, like, I swear he has a 4 octave range sometimes.”

“You’re such a music major,” you wrinkle your nose before peeking up. “Can I hear that project you’ve been working on in the studio?”

Mark’s cheeks flush under the blue light cast by the TV screen. He doesn’t say anything at first, but he does nod. You get up just long enough for him to grab his phone and the pair of over-the-ear headphones he always carries with him.

He takes care to brush your hair out of the way and slip the headphones onto your head gently. He sneaks in a pinch of your cheeks while you wait for him to cue up the song and laughs at the way your eyes crinkle in light annoyance.

The song begins and he alternates between gnawing at his bottom lip and watching your expression unblinkingly. Mark is actually doing super well in his Music Production 401 class and his professor is trying to get him to do an independent study next term. But he’s a perfectionist when it comes to his music. The song’s not finished even though he and Taeyong have been working on it nonstop for the last week and a half.

After a few minutes, you slide the headphones off. 

“I like it,” you whisper. “I wish I could tell you something more helpful but I don’t know anything about making music.”

“No, no. Honestly, that’s enough. I feel like you always tell me when you don’t really like what we have, so this is—good.”

“What are you gonna call it?” You grab his free hand and Mark darts his head around to survey the room. 

“Tae wants to call it something like “welcome to my playground”. We have to run the name by the other guys in the project. But Professor Seo thinks we should put it online once it’s done.”

“Promise you won’t forget about me when you blow up on SoundCloud.”

Mark tosses his head back and laughs at your teasing, before reaching out for revenge. He grabs at your waist and pulls you down so he can dig his fingers into your sides, knowing exactly where to go so he can torture you.

You let out a gasp and try your hardest to protect your sensitive underarms and the sides of your ribs from him, but it’s too late. Frenzied laughs pour from your mouth and you fight to stay upright. It’s a fight that you lose but not without bringing Mark down with you.

The two of you topple over the edge of the couch in a heap of throw pillows and decorative blankets. You fall first and brace yourself for the impact of Mark’s body. It’s not as painful as you thought it would be and when you crack an eye open you realize it’s because he managed to prop himself up at the last second.

Mark laughs again, but this time it’s small and breathless as he takes in the sight of you underneath him. He yanks himself up so at least his upper half is upright and he looks around again.

“Why are you acting so suspicious? You’ve been acting like you have a dirty secret all night.” You sit up too then, pulling your knees to yourself.

“Ah, really? I dunno.”

But he does know. 

Mark is a man of many good traits. He’d like to think, based on what others have told him, that he’s reliable. Hardworking, nice. Maybe even a little handsome if he listens to his mom. But most of all he is incredibly patient.

The last 2 months that you have been dating have consisted of being cockblocked at every turn. And the same thing happened when he was trying to find a good moment to confess to you after realizing that he liked you. Because he and you shared too many friends. Well-meaning but stupid friends.

“I mean—like, I guess I just got so used to us being interrupted by the guys that it’s a habit. Sorry.”

“We’re alone now, though.”

“Ha, right,” he tugs on the collar of his hoodie. “Yeah.”

“So...do you still want to watch the DVR on the couch?”

“Uh, we don’t have to. We could do something else.”

“What do you want to do,” you ask as your fingers crawl up his torso. With a gentle press to his hoodie-clad chest, Mark‘s back hits the seat of the couch. 

“Wuh—we could listen to the new SuperK album.” 

You shake your head and slink into his lap. You fiddle with the zipper on the front of his hoodie, enjoying the way he fails to keep his cool in the moment.

He looks up at you then, eyes round. “We could... watch that movie Cloud Break. It’s supposed to be really romantic—”

You shake your head again and lean in. “Saw it ages ago,” you murmur against the skin of his neck.

He huffs out a laugh, partly because of the tickle from your lips planting light kisses on his throat and partly because your answer is ridiculous.

“It premiered in theaters two days ago, dude.”

“I have connections,” is all you say before switching to kisses on the corner of his mouth.

Rarely do moments like this ever arise. With your friend group, someone is always in your dorm, or in Mark’s, or texting one of you to let you know you’ll be interrupted soon. One too many traumatic occasions where he didn’t heed the warning taught Mark to be hypervigilant of how he interacted with you. 

Honestly, he’s not even sure what to do first now. You’ve already unzipped his hoodie to splay your palms over his chest. He’s certain you can feel the fluttering dance his heart is doing under your hands. His own palms itch with inactivity. But laying them on the bare skin of your waist under the fabric of your shirt feels a bit like a balm against his clammy skin.

It’s like a switch is flipped. Like you’ve both realized how long you’ve been waiting for this moment. Suddenly everything is wandering hands and soft gasps. Time behaves funny in the privacy of the little universe being created on the floor by the couch. First it’s the quick, rough pass of your shirt over your head, getting tangled along overeager elbows along the way. Then it’s the slow and gentle brush of Mark’s knuckles against the skin of your abdomen as he attempts to unbutton your pants with shaking hands. You ask him if he’s scared while thumbing at the plush swell of his lips which are pursed in concentration. He tells you he’s just excited with an equally-shaky chuckle.

That’s what you love about Mark. Probably one of the things everyone loves about Mark. He’s thorough, admirably so. Just like he took his time with his confession,!l and his time with your jeans, he takes time appraising every inch of exposed skin. Some moments are moments of familiarity and he nips at the skin like it’s an old greeting. Some moments are moments of discovery, for both of you. He’s gentler then, drawing a new version of you out from yourself in the form of drawn out gasps or curses.

Many are moments of reciprocity. There are times when you hope his touch leaves fingerprints behind, something that you can keep long after your sweat has dried. And every touch he gives is matched with one you return. The feel of your palm on him, over him, around him draws his muscles taut. When you finally slot together, of course it’s like two puzzle pieces. It’s just right and the breath Mark releases then is almost like a sigh of relief. 

Often relief is a quiet, calm thing. Not always, certainly not now. You and Mark chase this relief panting and sometimes clawing at one another. He’s jerky as he moves over you. With arms shaking on either side of his head and this jaw grit tight, he tries his best to make it to the end with you. The way you moan and lock your thighs around him to pull him closer and deeper are the things that push him off the edge. He spills into you with a choked off groan that tapers off when he pulls away finally.

He’s exhausted, but still attentive in his aftermath. Mark whispers sweet nothings into your ear as he beckons you closer to your own orgasm with his hand. The feeling of working over you through the slick of his cum awakens something in the corners of his mind, but he puts that back. For another day, he reasons. Another one of those rare days when he can get you alone. Next time he won’t hesitate.

“You feel good,” he nuzzles the tip of his nose by the base of your ear.

Your breath hitches wetly and you reach down to grip his still twisting wrist. The touch grounds you only slightly because he changes the angle and suddenly you’re floating towards white light once more. Mark watches your hips raise in little broken motions to reach your own high.

Immediately, you pull him back in. He’s confident in the way he follows this time. He swoops in over you, kissing you like the sex had merely whetted his appetite.

“Is there still chicken?”

The sound of Jungwoo’s voice drives you two apart so fast your joints crack. You shriek and pull the closest piece of clothing you can find over your lap and torso. It just so happens to be Mark’s sweatpants, leaving him defenseless and bare.

Jungwoo pokes his head out from behind his bedroom door, headphones hanging around his neck with music oozing softly from the ears. Whatever he sees must be appropriate enough, because he nods to himself then and strolls toward the kitchen. The leftover Chicken Haus sits neatly packaged away thanks to Mark’s previous care.

“Bro, what the hell,” Mark whines from behind the safety of the couch. Just his head peeks over the cushions, making him look tiny. Like a tiger cub woken prematurely. Jungwoo laughs.

“I thought you said you bought enough to share. There’s no way you guys were gonna finish all this on your own.”

“That’s not—” Mark sighs, “That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what?”

“We’re kind of doing something here.” He jerks his chin down to where you’re hidden from view still. Neither of them can see your grimace. 

“Oh, yeah, we know.”

“We?” 

Your head and naked shoulders pop up then. Mark shifts his arm subtly in front you to preserve what’s left of your modesty. It doesn’t do much.

“Yeah, me and the others were in my room. We heard you did good on the test from our friend Lucas—you know the one who TAs for orgo? We were gonna surprise you, so we all got here early.”

“How early,” Mark’s voice is steady, eerily so. 

Jungwoo picks up another nugget and chews thoughtfully while he picks the right things to say. Johnny is the one who is known for being scary when angry, but Mark’s silent fury is frightening in its own right. A tiger cub is still a tiger, after all.

“Early,” he finally says.

“Fuck,” Mark covers his eyes with his hands. His cheeks bloom over rapidly. “Are you kidding me? Like for real?”

“Jungwoo,” Taeyong’s stage whisper cuts through the outburst. “Are they done yet?”

“You think he’s just standing out there talking to himself while they’re still doing it,” Doyoung’s voice enters next.

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t stop to watch a little on the way back,” Yuta scoffs.

“Guys, stop, this is so weird. That’s Mark we’re talking about.” The sound of Johnny’s internal crisis is almost as loud as his distressed non-whisper.

Jungwoo snorts before piling a plate high with more chicken. “You sound like such a mom, John.”

“Hey, wait is there still chicken?” Taeil’s sleepy voice is followed by Haechan giving an affirmative.

The guys stream out of Jungwoo’s tiny suite like a swarm of ants making a line towards the kitchen. Some of them hop onto the counter while Doyoung distributes plates. Others grab up the remaining stools and continue to discuss Mark’s new lack of virginity while serving up fries and nuggets. None of them seem to be concerned about yours or Mark’s presence with their backs turned towards you.

As the others continue to bicker amongst themselves, you turn to Mark. With a knowing look, he gestures for you to pass him his sweats. In silence, you both dress yourselves before making a break to your room. You enter first, diving head first into your bed out of mortification. Mark makes sure to close the door as soundlessly as possible before turning to you.

“We need new friends,” the two of you say in unison.