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eirian-houpe · 5 years ago

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The Library Beneath the Clock Tower - Chapter 25

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Belle/Gaston (Once Upon a Time)

Additional Tags: Bookshop On the Corner, slightly AU, Cursed Storybrooke (Once Upon a Time), Alternate Universe - In Storybrooke | Cursed (Once Upon a Time), Eventual Smut

Summary: Storybrooke has no library, and neither does Belle, not since the library where she worked in Boston discovered her past as an inpatient at a mental hospital. Taking her future into her own hands, Belle travels to Storybrooke where her intention is to open up the town library, but all does not go according to her plan. Obstacles and false starts, and diversion along very wrong pathways interrupt her journey toward fulfilling her dream, as well as taking her rightful place and becoming a part of the Storybrooke community.

Read Previous Chapters on AO3

Chapter 25 - Unexpected Ally

Once word got around that the library was open, up and running, Belle had a very busy few days almost rushed off her feet with the number of new subscribers she had registered. She had no idea there were even so many people in Storybrooke. For a sleepy little town in Maine, it certainly seemed to have a lot of residents. Not that she was complaining, not really. It helped to keep her mind off the still missing Mister Gold - being too busy to wonder very much.

It didn’t help her to avoid noticing that there were still far too many spaces on the selves, and that she didn’t have sufficient books in the library for her liking, so she spent one of her lunch breaks sitting at the computer in the library looking online and trying to source new books. She found another branch library in a rural town nearby was closing down due to lack of public funding, and though it saddened her more than she could say, it also filled her with a sense of hope and excitement, and she telephoned the head librarian there right away, securing the bulk of the books to fill the self spaces in Storybrooke’s repository of books.

And not a moment too soon, as it should happen, because while her landlord and secret benefactor - or so it seemed anyway - was still notably absent, the mayor, fast becoming her greatest nemesis, was not. Regina Mills breezed into the library with her nose in the air, practically sweeping her fingertips along surfaces like a mother-in-law checking for dust.

“Well, Miss Marchland,” the mayor said after turning to look at her. “You certainly seemed to have managed to liven the place up a little, if nothing else.”

“Yes,” Belle replied, trying to keep her voice light and polite, although Regina was like a dark cloud over a picnic. “I’ve had a lot of people come in to register.”

“And to borrow books, it would seem.”

“What do you mean?” Belle frowned, wondering what the comment was meant to be criticizing now - because she had no doubt it was.

“The selves are somewhat… sparse, dear,” she said. “We did give you a budget for the library. I distinctly remember signing off on it - against my better judgment, I might add.”

Belle had had enough and folding her arms across her chest demanded, “Then why did you?”

“Everything to do with library was voted on and approved by the town council. I told them they were wasting their time and Storybrooke’s budget, that this little… social experiment wouldn’t last, but… it appears you have some influential people in this town already on your side.”

“I wasn’t aware there was a need to take sides,” Belle grumbled under her breath.

“What was that, dear?” Even before Belle opened her mouth to answer, the mayor waved her away. “Never mind. As soon as people see how limited their choices are, they just won’t be coming any more, and we’ll be able to close this place down.”

She turned on her heel then and headed back toward the front door, but Belle hurried from behind the circulation desk and put herself firmly in the mayor’s path. Forcing her to stop walking or run into her.

“Why do you hate me so much?” she demanded, throwing up her hands, “What have I ever done to you?”

Regina laughed, which fueled Belle’s irritation, and she could feel her color rising in the wake of her irritation.

“My dear Miss Marchland,” the mayor said as her laughter subsided a little. “Hate you?” She shook her head. “It’s as I told you at the ball, and it’s as true now as it was then. It is most fitting that you should be in peasants clothing - as a servant.” She looked around, then looked down at her immaculately painted fingernails as she added, “It’s all you’ll ever amount to, anyway. Besides…” she reached out and pushed Belle aside with two fingers as though she were touching something distasteful before she started walking again toward the door, as she said, “…why waste time hating someone who’s going to do your work for you?”

It took everything that Belle was not to run out after her; to keep her calm and not call after her with words a lady should never use. What the hell did she mean? What was it that Regina Mills thought she was going to do to further her seemingly twisted plans for the townsfolk of Storybrooke. It seemed as though the mayor just wanted everyone to be miserable.

Deliberately, she returned to the circulation desk and engaged in a few mundane tasks to try and rid her mind of the unpleasantness of the visit. It didn’t work. All she could think about was the way the mayor seemed to think that the library would fail, that the people in town were not really interested in patronizing the establishment so close to Belle’s heart. She looked at the stack of registration cards off to the left of the desk - completed registration cards - that still needed to be filed, and it made her chuckle. The sight of the tall stack was a comfort, a reassurance that whatever Mayor Mills thought was refuted by the facts, and that so long as she kept the books well stocked - and she already had that in hand without delving into the actual library budget - then the people would keep on coming.

She smiled, and glanced at her watch. It was almost time for the first of her planned community activities: Storybrooke Story Time, and she wandered over to the area she had already set up that morning with a large area rug, many colorful scatter cushions, and a place for the story-teller - which today would be her - to sit. She’d tried to make sure people knew about it, and had even asked Mary Margaret to let the parents at the school know when it would be happening. Still, after her morning visitor, she worried just a little that no one would come.

She need not have. The moment that the appointed time came around, beginning as a little trickle, at first, and then many people arriving together, parents and children came and took spots on the cushions and on the carpet. Some parents asked if they could leave their little ones while they ran to the store, and although Belle was uncertain at first, the looks of desperation she saw in their eyes - the need for the chance to shop without having to field wheedling requests for cookies and candy, to actually buy their groceries and sundries in peace - made Belle agree, “So long as you’re back by the end,” she would add with a smile and a light touch to their arm.

While she was putting the finishing touches to the event, and setting out small cups of juice, and little containers each with a healthy snack for later, when she suspected the children, especially the younger ones, would need a break, one of the parent’s who had stayed hopped into the ‘Teller’s Chair’ and began leading the children in a song. Belle smiled, happy that things were going well.

Of course, the thought was an invitation for something to go wrong. Even so, she was surprised when she felt a light tap on her shoulder as she was filling the last of the juice cups, and straightened up, turning to see the Sheriff standing behind her.

“Sheriff Humbert,” she greeted him with a smile, “Can I help you?”

“Good afternoon, Miss Marchland,” he began, but she could tell that he felt… awkward, uncomfortable just by the look on his face. “Miss Marchland,” he said again, “I’m sorry to bust in on you like this, but, well, I was passing just now, and I saw some of the parents leave the building without their children.”

“Yes,” Belle said, with a frown, not quite understanding what the Sheriff was driving at. “They asked to run to the store while I was reading the story to the children.”

“See,” Graham Humbert ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “This is very awkward, but… they can’t actually do that. The town of Storybrooke - your employer you understand - doesn’t actually have a background check on file for you yet, so…”

“Oh my God!” Belle exclaimed perhaps a little too loudly, as some of the parents looked around. Belle lowered her voice and leaned closer to the sheriff, speaking confidentially despite her mounting irritation. “Oh my God,” she repeated. “Regina put you up to this, didn’t she?”

“We have to abide by the law, Miss Marchland. I’m sure you understand,” he said, and his non-answer led Belle to believe that she had been entirely right in her accusation.

“Yes, but—” Belle began, but the sheriff held up a hand.

“And the law says you can’t be left alone with children that aren’t your own without first receiving a satisfactory criminal background check,” he offered her a smile then, and with almost a cheeky twinkle in his eye added, “Just so happens that I’m due for a break now, so… if you don’t mind reading a story to a grown up boy…” he gesture toward the circulation desk, and to the new flat packed office chair that leaned against the side of it. “I could even put that together for you while I listen.”

Belle let out the breath she’d be holding, and smiled broadly, throwing a quick hug around the sheriff before she realized what she’d done.

“Thank you, Sheriff,” she said as she pulled back.

“Graham,” he told her. “I’m off the clock, remember? Go on, go read your story. I’ll try not to make too much noise.”

Story time, once it was underway, was a huge hit. Belle didn’t think she would ever get used to the sight of all the attentive faces, eyes wide, looking her way as she told the story as expressively as she could. Time flew past, and they even managed to get through snack time without too much of a mess or too many spills. One of the parents who had stayed through the whole thing volunteered to bring the juice and snacks for the next time, and all of the parents who had run their errands returned on time to collect their children.

“Seems like that was quite the success,” Graham said as he wheeled over the now constructed office chair, echoing Belle’s thoughts.

She smiled her thanks at him, and nodding at the chair, said, “And it looks like you were successful too.”

He chuckled, shaking his head and said, “Don’t say that until you’ve tried it out. If you want to come over to the office some time this week, I can take your fingerprints and get that background check done for you.”

“Thank you,” Belle said. “I’ll do that.”

“Not that I didn’t enjoy the story, by the way,” he added quickly.

“I understand,” she said, “and thank you for sticking your neck out for me.”

He shrugged as if to tell her that he didn’t see it that way, and he didn’t mind, but Belle knew, could sense that there was more to it than he was telling.

“I’d best be on my way,” he said.

Belle walked with him to the door, deciding to prop one of them open to let in some fresh air, and she noticed the same girl she had spotted on the day the library opened. The girl was hovering nearby, looking almost longingly at the library doors. Belle stepped outside and waved the sheriff off as he drove away, then as she turned she offered the girl a greeting.

“Hi,” she said, “have you been out here the whole time?” The girl shrugged, but this time didn’t run away, so Belle ventured, “Would you like to come in and have a look around?”

The girl was hesitant, but when Belle began to walk back toward the library doors, she followed and stepped inside. Belle didn’t want to spook her, or crowd her, because the girl seemed a little skittish, so she set about starting to clean up the discarded cups and paper plates, and after a while the girl moved to help.

“It’s lovely in here,” the girl said as she reached out to put some plates into the trash bag that Belle held open.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’ve tried to make it welcoming.”

The girl nodded, then asked, “What story did you read today?”

Belle paused in her tidying and picked up the book she had read from where she had set it on the Teller’s Chair. She held it out to the girl, who - still hesitantly at first - took it, and turned to settled on a cushion, and begin to read the book. Belle continued tidying, giving her time, and when the girl looked up Belle said, “You could have joined us, you know?” The girl shrugged, so Belle asked, “Do you like books?”

“I love books and stories,” the girl blurted out, then looked embarrassed as she handed back the book.

“You can borrow them, you know. That’s what the library is for after all,” Belle answered.

“But… I don’t have a card,”

“I can help you fill out a card, and then you can take it with you and get your parents to sign it.”

The girl shook her head, looking embarrassed. “Mother wouldn’t like it,” she said, and Belle frowned, but didn’t want to press the girl. It wasn’t her place to pry, after all. “Can I help you put the books away?”

“Of course,” Belle said, then after a moment’s thought she said, “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you stop by on your way home from school a few days a week, and you can help out with shelving the books and tidying up. It would be a great help for me, and if you wanted to read a little bit before you left for home…” she trailed off, letting the girl work things out for herself, then added, “My name’s Belle, by the way.”

“I’m Paige,” the girl answered. “And can you maybe help me with my homework sometimes?”

By the time Paige left, the library was practically spotless, and Belle was glad that she was able to help the girl, even though she still didn’t know very much about her. She liked her, and somehow she seemed strangely familiar, as if she’d seen her before, and not just in passing, or knew her parents even though she was certain that couldn’t be the case.

Though she was still trying to work out the library’s opening hours, Belle decided that she would close earlier than usual that day, posting a notice on the doors to the effect that library hours were under review. Then she headed upstairs, to the apartment, where she practically collided with Ruby who was coming out of the bathroom, in nothing but a robe, still toweling her hair dry.

“You’re early,” Ruby said.

“Yes,” Belle answered, “I thought we could maybe do something. We haven’t really had much time since you got here.”

Ruby’s face became a mask of regret. “I’m sorry, Belle,” she said, “I already have plans.”

“You have a date?” Belle asked, her tone one of surprise, though given what happened at the mayor’s ball it shouldn’t have been so unexpected.

“Sort of,” Ruby said, and Belle raised an eyebrow and said, “There are a bunch of us going to the Rabbit Hole. You should come. It’ll be fun.”

“No,” said Belle, rather more vehemently than she meant to, so trying again said more softly, “No thank you. It’s not really my cup of tea.”

“You sure?” Ruby looked guilty, and Belle didn’t want that. She wanted her friend to have fun.

“Yes, of course. You go, have a good time.” She told her. “It’ll give me a chance to try out that new cookie recipe that I found.”

“Belle—” Ruby started, but she cut her off.

“No, seriously, it’s fine.” Belle offered a smile, and then gave her friend a push toward the bedroom. “Get dressed, you don’t want to keep them waiting.” Ruby leaned down and kissed her cheek, and Belle gave her a tight hug in return, murmuring, “Knock ‘em dead.”

#rumbelle #AU (slight)#storybrooke au #cursed storybrooke #eventual smut

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darlingsteps · 6 years ago

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Things to do with kids in any part of the world

Things to do with your kids in any part of the world: USA, Europe & Beyond

No matter where you are in the world, you don’t need a lot of money or extravagant things to make children happy and have fun. I’m a pure example of this. Here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

Build a tent

Seriously, who buys those pop-up store tents anymore? (I’m not judging, I used to own them lol) When you have a small living space or live out of a suitcase like us, you have the luxury of having All. The. Things. amiright?

So, trust me, kids will much rather build their own tent with extra bedsheets, pillowcases, fabrics and chairs of all sorts.

Have bunk beds? Ohhh those are the best and bring back so many memories! #hello

Make cookies

(at least in my household) kids want IN on whatever you’re doing. Haha, My youngest child will harass my life to ‘help cook’ until I say yes. Obviously, I should be sterner and not give in (what the heck am I teaching her by giving in right? I know. moving on) but in this case, I adore the cuteness of a teeny tiny human with a cupcake for a face, trouting along to beg me to cook. How can I resist? So I now schedule time for the girls to cook. And what’s more fun than mixing, tasting and squishing!

Arts and crafts

This is my inner creative alter ego wanting to pry itself out. I LOVE arts and crafts (don’t be fooled, I’m by no means crafty or good haha) I enjoy it, and I promise if you let go of perfectionism you will too. Honestly, you don’t even need ‘a plan.’ Go to your craft store, i.e., any dollar store, and stock up on anything even remotely crafty, even if you think you won’t use it. Head straight to the stationary section, then head to the home/garden isle, after the tool and auto isle (you need something reasonable to hold all this crap, food aisle (for cheap dry goods. think beans, rice, and oats) and finally the kitchen isle for plastic cups, foil, etc. and those paper plates you’ll need for those maracas.

Make playdough

Why on Gods green earth is playdough SO DAMN EXPENSIVE???!!! Okay, I’m sorry for yelling. #Imdone. I’ve never purchased playdough for the girls because we afford it and when we could, why the heck would I pay that much anyway? And for the bargain shopper mamas reading this before you go on to tell me I can buy them in bulk, on sale, from said dollar store…I wrote above- here are my thoughts: my kids must be one a kind because these boogers go on to ‘make’ me food creations of all types and mix the playdough in all kinds of ways to make colors I didn’t even know existed. (and I’ve tried those cheaper ones and my goodness- NO THANKS) Kids enjoy cooking (see note above) and making messes, it’s a win-win. Plus it’s super easy, all types of recipes available online. So no excuses. (and no it doesn’t take that long. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

Have a Treasure Hunt

This is sooo fun. Honestly, it doesn’t need to be, and it gives you time to just sit down. Ah. You can hide anything from candy, new pencils, notes, etc. (Think the birthday section at a said dollar store) Play dress up we only have girls, and it goes without saying that they enjoy dressing up. (see toy section of any dollar store. do you see a pattern here lol) But I can only guess that boys would enjoy dressing up as well as it is a great pretend/imaginative play. Make pizza Let me start off by saying that if you don’t like pizza, I don’t know we can be friends. Ok just kidding maybe lol I don’t think I’ve ever met a kid but doesn’t like pizza and this is indeed such a versatile and cheap thing to make that there isn’t any excuse for you not to make it and it’s a lot of fun. I grew up pretty poor, and pizza for us consisted of a slice of white wonder bread cheap no-frills pasta sauce and a slice of what was supposed to be cheese. Then we popped it in the oven for a few minutes watching it until the cheese got ever so slightly burned and dug in. Do everyone in your family a favor and make the dough from scratch is pretty simple or you can just buy it one from the store it’s still a lot of fun!

Fly a kite (create a kite)

So self-explanatory and kids love it so go get one and get to your local park already if you don’t have a kite , crafts to the rescue! It is super easy to make, and they work!

Stargaze

This is one of my favorite pastimes, so I feel kind of selfish writing it but our kids loved it, and I think it’s because we are both from big cities in you don’t see stars are often and when you think it’s the one you realize that it’s just a helicopter. Enjoy the little things

Listen to books

Another guilty pleasure here but I’ve posted this love answer my children, and it’s always a good time. There are a few ways you can do this if you’re looking for free options the best way is to download the Overdrive or Libby app and entering your details and library card details, and you get to listen to audiobooks for free. If finances are no burden for you then audible is such an excellent option, and they have pretty much anything you could look for. Except The gruffalo…they don’t have that anymore because Julia Donaldson wants to do stick to print books…ok I digress. Haha. Another more affordable option is the Scribd app. it’s pretty amazing because you pay a small fee of about 5 to 8 books of month, and you get to listen to an unlimited amount books the downside is that you don’t keep it, so it’s kind of like a music subscription you get all the music you want while you’re paying subscriber otherwise you lose all your stuff.

Read books

Same advice as above^

Make a play

Piggybacking off of the dress up here….our girls could do this all day long. Like seriously. They have. They do.

Keep all and any extra boxes you can get your hands on… The bigger, the better. (Invest in a good x-acto knife) < you’ll need this for the never-ending requests to make doors, windows and “secret exits.”

Build a snowman

If you’re in a climate where it permits this, don’t let the beauty of snow pass by because it’s bitterly cold. Trust me. I understand the struggle. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t last and the memories will.

Park

Does this really need a caption?

Train or bus ride

So, it doesn’t matter if you’re in NYC, London, Paris, or your tiny small town that’s barely making Google maps…if there are buses or trains, use em. Kids love this stuff.

Free workshops

Don’t underestimate your local library. They always have fantastic free workshops going on where all the is required is a simple registration.

Farmers market

This is such a great way to immerse yourself where you are. If you’re traveling like us, this allows you to see and meet new people. Engage in the culture and get fresh produce, food, and knick-knacks.

Make musical instruments

Here I am with the craft stuff again! If you’re like us and travel like it’s your second job, then this is a good one. Music is good for the spirit, and you wouldn’t believe how easy it is to use common household things to make instruments out of.

Have a parade

When you’re done making said instruments^ Be super silly and have a parade! Storm and stomp around the house and have fun. (Be mindful of the hour of course if you live above anyone)

Bubble bath

I can’t quite remember, but there was a time/age where our girls didn’t always get along so well. And the only time where there was a sense of peace was when they were taking baths. Seriously, don’t underestimate the power of simple water, soap and “toys” (I wrote that in quotes because I despise bath toys and much prefer temporary toys like plastic water bottles, used up lemon juice containers, etc)

Birdwatch

Children do mimic what they see. Obviously, this can be a good and bad thing. In this case, it’s alright. Many times throughout the day you can find me lost in thought #heyfellowinfj and wait for it: bird or human watching

The girls love seeing birds up close and analyzing their attributes. Have your kiddos try this!

Make confetti

Kids love to make messes so let them! Grab any old magazines, newspapers, leaflets, flyers, and pieces of scrap paper you no longer need and cut them up. You can simply put them through the shredder (this adds to the fun, but obviously watch out for those little fingers and blades) or cut shapes snowflakes, etc. Then toss them in the air and roll around in it and have a confetti party!

Outdoor sport

One of the joys of many sports is that you can travel with said instruments. Any game that involves a ball can fit in your luggage once deflated. Cricket is super lightweight, and the ball is small. Frisbee is a fantastic choice. It can get tricky with tennis as rackets tend to be heavy and bulky. (But relatively cheap to purchase)

Sidewalk drawing

Chalk is typically cheap anywhere you go and works on almost any sidewalk/balcony! If you have a private area you’re using, bring out the hose, a bucket or a bowl of water to wash away the drawings and begin fresh the next day.

Garden

Nature freedom!

Go to a museum, café, library or bookstore.

To find free museums, type “free museum, city” into your browser of choice….Same with the others.

Fire station

This may differ wherever you go, but in the US, most firefighters are happy to speak to children when they drop by to have a look but do call first to verify! (To avoid disappointment) We’ve never had an issue, but you never know.

Sing & dance

So I almost felt a bit hypocritical writing this one because I loathe doing both in public. Yes, even in front of my own family haha! But, I assure you, if you’re the same way, take it slow and do it scared! You’ll be glad you did. The easiest thing to do is go to YouTube and find some kid dance channels (maybe search for kid choreography) and let the magic happen. We also use a Toca Boca dance app!

Learn a language

After a certain amount of time traveling (it’s been years for us) your kiddos will grow to love languages. Naturally, as humans, especially little humans, we love communicating. And there’s no better way than completely immersing yourself into another one’s culture: language and all.

I realize this specifies toddlers in the heading. However, these activities can be easily adapted and enjoyed by older children as well. My kiddos are in the 10 and under range (as an example.)

What do you do for family fun? Tell me below!

The post Things to do with kids in any part of the world appeared first on Darling Steps.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Everybody lies: how Google search reveals our darkest secrets

What can we learn about ourselves from the things we ask online? Seth StephensDavidowitz analysed anonymous Google search data, uncovering disturbing truths about our desires, beliefs and prejudices

Everybody lies. People lie about how many drinks they had on the way home. They lie about how often they go to the gym, how much those new shoes cost, whether they read that book. They call in sick when theyre not. They say theyll be in touch when they wont. They say its not about you when it is. They say they love you when they dont. They say theyre happy while in the dumps. They say they like women when they really like men. People lie to friends. They lie to bosses. They lie to kids. They lie to parents. They lie to doctors. They lie to husbands. They lie to wives. They lie to themselves. And they damn sure lie to surveys. Heres my brief survey for you:

Have you ever cheated in an exam?

Have you ever fantasised about killing someone?

Were you tempted to lie?

Many people underreport embarrassing behaviours and thoughts on surveys. They want to look good, even though most surveys are anonymous. This is called social desirability bias. An important paper in 1950 provided powerful evidence of how surveys can fall victim to such bias. Researchers collected data, from official sources, on the residents of Denver: what percentage of them voted, gave to charity, and owned a library card. They then surveyed the residents to see if the percentages would match. The results were, at the time, shocking. What the residents reported to the surveys was very different from the data the researchers had gathered. Even though nobody gave their names, people, in large numbers, exaggerated their voter registration status, voting behaviour, and charitable giving.

Has anything changed in 65 years? In the age of the internet, not owning a library card is no longer embarrassing. But, while whats embarrassing or desirable may have changed, peoples tendency to deceive pollsters remains strong. A recent survey asked University of Maryland graduates various questions about their college experience. The answers were compared with official records. People consistently gave wrong information, in ways that made them look good. Fewer than 2% reported that they graduated with lower than a 2.5 GPA (grade point average). In reality, about 11% did. And 44% said they had donated to the university in the past year. In reality, about 28% did.

Then theres that odd habit we sometimes have of lying to ourselves. Lying to oneself may explain why so many people say they are above average. How big is this problem? More than 40% of one companys engineers said they are in the top 5%. More than 90% of college professors say they do above-average work. One-quarter of high school seniors think they are in the top 1% in their ability to get along with other people. If you are deluding yourself, you cant be honest in a survey.

The more impersonal the conditions, the more honest people will be. For eliciting truthful answers, internet surveys are better than phone surveys, which are better than in-person surveys. People will admit more if they are alone than if others are in the room with them. However, on sensitive topics, every survey method will elicit substantial misreporting. People have no incentive to tell surveys the truth.

How, therefore, can we learn what our fellow humans are really thinking and doing? Big data. Certain online sources get people to admit things they would not admit anywhere else. They serve as a digital truth serum. Think of Google searches. Remember the conditions that make people more honest. Online? Check. Alone? Check. No person administering a survey? Check.

The power in Google data is that people tell the giant search engine things they might not tell anyone else. Google was invented so that people could learn about the world, not so researchers could learn about people, but it turns out the trails we leave as we seek knowledge on the internet are tremendously revealing.

I have spent the past four years analysing anonymous Google data. The revelations have kept coming. Mental illness, human sexuality, abortion, religion, health. Not exactly small topics, and this dataset, which didnt exist a couple of decades ago, offered surprising new perspectives on all of them. I am now convinced that Google searches are the most important dataset ever collected on the human psyche.

The Truth About Sex

How many American men are gay? This is a regular question in sexuality research. Yet it has been among the toughest questions for social scientists to answer. Psychologists no longer believe Alfred Kinseys famous estimate based on surveys that oversampled prisoners and prostitutes that 10% of American men are gay. Representative surveys now tell us about 2% to 3% are. But sexual preference has long been among the subjects upon which people have tended to lie. I think I can use big data to give a better answer to this question than we have ever had.

First, more on that survey data. Surveys tell us there are far more gay men in tolerant states than intolerant states. For example, according to a Gallup survey, the proportion of the population that is gay is almost twice as high in Rhode Island, the state with the highest support for gay marriage, than Mississippi, the state with the lowest support for gay marriage. There are two likely explanations for this. First, gay men born in intolerant states may move to tolerant states. Second, gay men in intolerant states may not divulge that they are gay. Some insight into explanation number one gay mobility can be gleaned from another big data source: Facebook, which allows users to list what gender they are interested in. About 2.5% of male Facebook users who list a gender of interest say they are interested in men; that corresponds roughly with what the surveys indicate.

How, therefore, can we learn what our fellow humans are really thinking and doing? Big data. Photograph: Thomas M Scheer/Getty Images/EyeEm

And Facebook too shows big differences in the gay population in states with high versus low tolerance: Facebook has the gay population more than twice as high in Rhode Island as in Mississippi. Facebook also can provide information on how people move around. I was able to code the home town of a sample of openly gay Facebook users. This allowed me to directly estimate how many gay men move out of intolerant states into more tolerant parts of the country. The answer? There is clearly some mobility from Oklahoma City to San Francisco, for example. But I estimate that men moving to someplace more open-minded can explain less than half of the difference in the openly gay population in tolerant versus intolerant states.

If mobility cannot fully explain why some states have so many more openly gay men, the closet must be playing a big role. Which brings us back to Google, with which so many people have proved willing to share so much.

Countrywide, I estimate using data from Google searches and Google AdWords that about 5% of male porn searches are for gay-male porn. Overall, there are more gay porn searches in tolerant states compared with intolerant states. In Mississippi, I estimate that 4.8% of male porn searches are for gay porn, far higher than the numbers suggested by either surveys or Facebook and reasonably close to the 5.2% of pornography searches that are for gay porn in Rhode Island.

So how many American men are gay? This measure of pornography searches by men roughly 5% are same-sex seems a reasonable estimate of the true size of the gay population in the United States. Five per cent of American men being gay is an estimate, of course. Some men are bisexual; some especially when young are not sure what they are. Obviously, you cant count this as precisely as you might the number of people who vote or attend a movie. But one consequence of my estimate is clear: an awful lot of men in the United States, particularly in intolerant states, are still in the closet. They dont reveal their sexual preferences on Facebook. They dont admit it on surveys. And, in many cases, they may even be married to women.

It turns out that wives suspect their husbands of being gay rather frequently. They demonstrate that suspicion in the surprisingly common search: Is my husband gay? The word gay is 10% more likely to complete searches that begin Is my husband… than the second-place word, cheating. It is eight times more common than an alcoholic and 10 times more common than depressed.

Most tellingly perhaps, searches questioning a husbands sexuality are far more prevalent in the least tolerant regions. The states with the highest percentage of women asking this question are South Carolina and Louisiana. In fact, in 21 of the 25 states where this question is most frequently asked, support for gay marriage is lower than the national average.

What do our searches reveal about us? Photograph: Michael Gottschalk/Photothek via Getty Images

Closets are not just repositories of fantasies. When it comes to sex, people keep many secrets about how much they are having, for example. Americans report using far more condoms than are sold every year. You might therefore think this means they are just saying they use condoms more often during sex than they actually do. The evidence suggests they also exaggerate how frequently they are having sex to begin with. About 11% of women between the ages of 15 and 44 say they are sexually active, not currently pregnant, and not using contraception. Even with relatively conservative assumptions about how many times they are having sex, scientists would expect 10% of them to become pregnant every month. But this would already be more than the total number of pregnancies in the United States (which is one in 113 women of childbearing age).

In our sex-obsessed culture it can be hard to admit that you are just not having that much. But if youre looking for understanding or advice, you have, once again, an incentive to tell Google. On Google, there are 16 times more complaints about a spouse not wanting sex than about a married partner not being willing to talk. There are five-and-a-half times more complaints about an unmarried partner not wanting sex than an unmarried partner refusing to text back.

And Google searches suggest a surprising culprit for many of these sexless relationships. There are twice as many complaints that a boyfriend wont have sex than that a girlfriend wont have sex. By far, the number one search complaint about a boyfriend is My boyfriend wont have sex with me. (Google searches are not broken down by gender, but since the previous analysis said that 95% of men are straight, we can guess that not many boyfriend searches are coming from men.)

How should we interpret this? Does this really imply that boyfriends withhold sex more than girlfriends? Not necessarily. As mentioned earlier, Google searches can be biased in favour of stuff people are uptight talking about. Men may feel more comfortable telling their friends about their girlfriends lack of sexual interest than women are telling their friends about their boyfriends. Still, even if the Google data does not imply that boyfriends are really twice as likely to avoid sex as girlfriends, it does suggest that boyfriends avoiding sex is more common than people let on.

Google data also suggests a reason people may be avoiding sex so frequently: enormous anxiety, with much of it misplaced. Start with mens anxieties. It isnt news that men worry about how well endowed they are, but the degree of this worry is rather profound. Men Google more questions about their sexual organ than any other body part: more than about their lungs, liver, feet, ears, nose, throat, and brain combined. Men conduct more searches for how to make their penises bigger than how to tune a guitar, make an omelette, or change a tyre. Mens top Googled concern about steroids isnt whether they may damage their health but whether taking them might diminish the size of their penis. Mens top Googled question related to how their body or mind would change as they aged was whether their penis would get smaller.

Do women care about penis size? Rarely, according to Google searches. For every search women make about a partners phallus, men make roughly 170 searches about their own. True, on the rare occasions women do express concerns about a partners penis, it is frequently about its size, but not necessarily that its small. More than 40% of complaints about a partners penis size say that its too big. Pain is the most Googled word used in searches with the phrase ___ during sex. Yet only 1% of mens searches looking to change their penis size are seeking information on how to make it smaller.

Mens second most common sex question is how to make their sexual encounters longer. Once again, the insecurities of men do not appear to match the concerns of women. There are roughly the same number of searches asking how to make a boyfriend climax more quickly as climax more slowly. In fact, the most common concern women have related to a boyfriends orgasm isnt about when it happened but why it isnt happening at all.

We dont often talk about body image issues when it comes to men. And while its true that overall interest in personal appearance skews female, its not as lopsided as stereotypes would suggest. According to my analysis of Google AdWords, which measures the websites people visit, interest in beauty and fitness is 42% male, weight loss is 33% male, and cosmetic surgery is 39% male. Among all searches with how to related to breasts, about 20% ask how to get rid of man breasts.

The Truth About Hate and Prejudice

Sex and romance are hardly the only topics cloaked in shame and, therefore, not the only topics about which people keep secrets. Many people are, for good reason, inclined to keep their prejudices to themselves. I suppose you could call it progress that many people today feel they will be judged if they admit they judge other people based on their ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. But many Americans still do. You can see this on Google, where users sometimes ask questions such as Why are black people rude? or Why are Jews evil?

A few patterns among these stereotypes stand out. For example, African Americans are the only group that faces a rude stereotype. Nearly every group is a victim of a stupid stereotype; the only two that are not: Jews and Muslims. The evil stereotype is applied to Jews, Muslims, and gay people but not black people, Mexicans, Asians, and Christians. Muslims are the only group stereotyped as terrorists. When a Muslim American plays into this stereotype, the response can be instantaneous and vicious. Google search data can give us a minute-by-minute peek into such eruptions of hate-fuelled rage.

Consider what happened shortly after the mass shooting in San Bernardino, California, on 2 December, 2015. That morning, Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik entered a meeting of Farooks co-workers armed with semi-automatic pistols and semi-automatic rifles and murdered 14 people. That evening, minutes after the media first reported one of the shooters Muslim-sounding names, a disturbing number of Californians decided what they wanted to do with Muslims: kill them. The top Google search in California with the word Muslims in it at the time was kill Muslims. And overall, Americans searched for the phrase kill Muslims with about the same frequency that they searched for martini recipe and migraine symptoms.

In the days following the San Bernardino attack, for every American concerned with Islamophobia, another was searching for kill Muslims. While hate searches were approximately 20% of all searches about Muslims before the attack, more than half of all search volume about Muslims became hateful in the hours that followed it. And this minute-by-minute search data can tell us how difficult it can be to calm this rage.

Four days after the shooting, President Obama gave a prime-time address to the country. He wanted to reassure Americans that the government could both stop terrorism and, perhaps more importantly, quiet this dangerous Islamophobia. Obama appealed to our better angels, speaking of the importance of inclusion and tolerance. The rhetoric was powerful and moving. The Los Angeles Times praised Obama for [warning] against allowing fear to cloud our judgment. The New York Times called the speech both tough and calming. The website ThinkProgress praised it as a necessary tool of good governance, geared towards saving the lives of Muslim Americans. Obamas speech, in other words, was judged a major success. But was it?

Google search data suggests otherwise. Together with Evan Soltas, then at Princeton, I examined the data. In his speech, the president said: It is the responsibility of all Americans of every faith to reject discrimination. But searches calling Muslims terrorists, bad, violent, and evil doubled during and shortly after the speech. President Obama also said: It is our responsibility to reject religious tests on who we admit into this country. But negative searches about Syrian refugees, a mostly Muslim group then desperately looking for a safe haven, rose 60%, while searches asking how to help Syrian refugees dropped 35%. Obama asked Americans to not forget that freedom is more powerful than fear. Yet searches for kill Muslims tripled during his speech. In fact, just about every negative search we could think to test regarding Muslims shot up during and after Obamas speech, and just about every positive search we could think to test declined.

In other words, Obama seemed to say all the right things. But new data from the internet, offering digital truth serum, suggested that the speech actually backfired in its main goal. Instead of calming the angry mob, as everybody thought he was doing, the internet data tells us that Obama actually inflamed it. Sometimes we need internet data to correct our instinct to pat ourselves on the back.

So what should Obama have said to quell this particular form of hatred currently so virulent in America? Well circle back to that later. First were going to take a look at an age-old vein of prejudice in the United States, the form of hate that in fact stands out above the rest, the one that has been the most destructive and the topic of the research that began this book. In my work with Google search data, the single most telling fact I have found regarding hate on the internet is the popularity of the word nigger.

Either singular or in its plural form, the word is included in 7m American searches every year. (Again, the word used in rap songs is almost always nigga, not nigger, so theres no significant impact from hip-hop lyrics to account for.) Searches for nigger jokes are 17 times more common than searches for kike jokes, gook jokes, spic jokes, chink jokes, and fag jokes combined. When are these searches most common? Whenever African Americans are in the news. Among the periods when such searches were highest was the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, when television and newspapers showed images of desperate black people in New Orleans struggling for their survival. They also shot up during Obamas first election. And searches rose on average about 30% on Martin Luther King Jr Day.

The frightening ubiquity of this racial slur throws into doubt some current understandings of racism. Any theory of racism has to explain a big puzzle in America. On the one hand, the overwhelming majority of black Americans think they suffer from prejudice and they have ample evidence of discrimination in police stops, job interviews, and jury decisions. On the other hand, very few white Americans will admit to being racist. The dominant explanation among political scientists recently has been that this is due, in large part, to widespread implicit prejudice. White Americans may mean well, this theory goes, but they have a subconscious bias, which influences their treatment of black Americans.

Academics invented an ingenious way to test for such a bias. It is called the implicit association test. The tests have consistently shown that it takes most people milliseconds longer to associate black faces with positive words, such as good, than with negative words, such as awful. For white faces, the pattern is reversed. The extra time it takes is evidence of someones implicit prejudice a prejudice the person may not even be aware of.

There is, though, an alternative explanation for the discrimination that African Americans feel and whites deny: hidden explicit racism. Suppose there is a reasonably widespread conscious racism of which people are very much aware but to which they wont confess certainly not in a survey. Thats what the search data seems to be saying. There is nothing implicit about searching for nigger jokes. And its hard to imagine that Americans are Googling the word nigger with the same frequency as migraine and economist without explicit racism having a major impact on African Americans. Prior to the Google data, we didnt have a convincing measure of this virulent animus. Now we do. We are, therefore, in a position to see what it explains. It explains why Obamas vote totals in 2008 and 2012 were depressed in many regions. It also correlates with the black-white wage gap, as a team of economists recently reported. The areas that I had found make the most racist searches underpay black people.

And then there is the phenomenon of Donald Trumps candidacy. When Nate Silver, the polling guru, looked for the geographic variable that correlated most strongly with support in the 2016 Republican primary for Trump, he found it in the map of racism I had developed. To be provocative and to encourage more research in this area, let me put forth the following conjecture, ready to be tested by scholars across a range of fields. The primary explanation for discrimination against African Americans today is not the fact that the people who agree to participate in lab experiments make subconscious associations between negative words and black people; it is the fact that millions of white Americans continue to do things like search for nigger jokes.

The Truth About Girls

The discrimination black people regularly experience in the United States appears to be fuelled more widely by explicit, if hidden, hostility. But, for other groups, subconscious prejudice may have a more fundamental impact. For example, I was able to use Google searches to find evidence of implicit prejudice against another segment of the population: young girls. And who, might you ask, would be harbouring bias against girls? Their parents.

Its hardly surprising that parents of young children are often excited by the thought that their kids might be gifted. In fact, of all Google searches starting Is my two-year-old, the most common next word is gifted. But this question is not asked equally about boys and girls. Parents are two-and-a-half times more likely to ask Is my son gifted? than Is my daughter gifted? Parents show a similar bias when using other phrases related to intelligence that they may shy away from saying aloud, like Is my son a genius?

Are parents picking up on legitimate differences between young girls and boys? Perhaps young boys are more likely than young girls to use big words or show objective signs of giftedness? Nope. If anything, its the opposite. At young ages, girls have consistently been shown to have larger vocabularies and use more complex sentences. In American schools, girls are 9% more likely than boys to be in gifted programmes. Despite all this, parents looking around the dinner table appear to see more gifted boys than girls. In fact, on every search term related to intelligence I tested, including those indicating its absence, parents were more likely to be inquiring about their sons rather than their daughters. There are also more searches for is my son behind or stupid than comparable searches for daughters. But searches with negative words like behind and stupid are less specifically skewed toward sons than searches with positive words, such as gifted or genius.

What then are parents overriding concerns regarding their daughters? Primarily, anything related to appearance. Consider questions about a childs weight. Parents Google Is my daughter overweight? roughly twice as frequently as they Google Is my son overweight? Parents are about twice as likely to ask how to get their daughters to lose weight as they are to ask how to get their sons to do the same. Just as with giftedness, this gender bias is not grounded in reality. About 28% of girls are overweight, while 35% of boys are. Even though scales measure more overweight boys than girls, parents see or worry about overweight girls much more frequently than overweight boys. Parents are also one-and-a-half times more likely to ask whether their daughter is beautiful than whether their son is handsome.

Liberal readers may imagine that these biases are more common in conservative parts of the country, but I didnt find any evidence of that. In fact, I did not find a significant relationship between any of these biases and the political or cultural makeup of a state. It would seem this bias against girls is more widespread and deeply ingrained than wed care to believe.

Can We Handle the Truth?

I cant pretend there isnt a darkness in some of this data. It has revealed the continued existence of millions of closeted gay men; widespread animus against African Americans; and an outbreak of violent Islamophobic rage that only got worse when the president appealed for tolerance. Not exactly cheery stuff. If people consistently tell us what they think we want to hear, we will generally be told things that are more comforting than the truth. Digital truth serum, on average, will show us that the world is worse than we have thought.

But there are at least three ways this knowledge can improve our lives. First, there can be comfort in knowing you are not alone in your insecurities and embarrassing behaviour. Google searches can help show you are not alone. When you were young, a teacher may have told you that if you have a question you should raise your hand and ask it, because if youre confused, others are too. If you were anything like me, you ignored your teacher and sat there silently, afraid to open your mouth. Your questions were too dumb, you thought; everyone elses were more profound. The anonymous, aggregate Google data can tell us once and for all how right our teachers were. Plenty of basic, sub-profound questions lurk in other minds, too.

The second benefit of digital truth serum is that it alerts us to people who are suffering. The Human Rights Campaign has asked me to work with them in helping educate men in certain states about the possibility of coming out of the closet. They are looking to use the anonymous and aggregate Google search data to help them decide where best to target their resources.

The final and, I think, most powerful value in this data is its ability to lead us from problems to solutions. With more understanding, we might find ways to reduce the worlds supply of nasty attitudes. Lets return to Obamas speech about Islamophobia. Recall that every time he argued that people should respect Muslims more, the people he was trying to reach became more enraged. Google searches, however, reveal that there was one line that did trigger the type of response Obama might have wanted. He said: Muslim Americans are our friends and our neighbours, our co-workers, our sports heroes and, yes, they are our men and women in uniform, who are willing to die in defence of our country.

After this line, for the first time in more than a year, the top Googled noun after Muslim was not terrorists, extremists, or refugees. It was athletes, followed by soldiers. And, in fact, athletes kept the top spot for a full day afterwards. When we lecture angry people, the search data implies that their fury can grow. But subtly provoking peoples curiosity, giving new information, and offering new images of the group that is stoking their rage may turn their thoughts in different, more positive directions.

Two months after that speech, Obama gave another televised speech on Islamophobia, this time at a mosque. Perhaps someone in the presidents office had read Soltass and my Times column, which discussed what had worked and what hadnt, for the content of this speech was noticeably different.

Obama spent little time insisting on the value of tolerance. Instead, he focused overwhelmingly on provoking peoples curiosity and changing their perceptions of Muslim Americans. Many of the slaves from Africa were Muslim, Obama told us; Thomas Jefferson and John Adams had their own copies of the Koran; a Muslim American designed skyscrapers in Chicago. Obama again spoke of Muslim athletes and armed service members, but also talked of Muslim police officers and firefighters, teachers and doctors. And my analysis of the Google searches suggests this speech was more successful than the previous one. Many of the hateful, rageful searches against Muslims dropped in the hours afterwards.

There are other potential ways to use search data to learn what causes, or reduces, hate. For example, we might look at how racist searches change after a black quarterback is drafted in a city, or how sexist searches change after a woman is elected to office. Learning of our subconscious prejudices can also be useful. We might all make an extra effort to delight in little girls minds and show less concern with their appearance. Google search data and other wellsprings of truth on the internet give us an unprecedented look into the darkest corners of the human psyche. This is at times, I admit, difficult to face. But it can also be empowering. We can use the data to fight the darkness. Collecting rich data on the worlds problems is the first step toward fixing them.

Extracted from: Everybody Lies: What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, published by Bloomsbury, 20. To order for 17 go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846 Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99.. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz will be speaking in London at the Royal Society of Arts on Tuesday and at Second Home on Wednesday

Q&A with Seth Stephens-Davidowitz

The degree to which people are self-absorbed is pretty shocking: Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Photograph: Christopher Lane for the Observer

Whats your background? Id describe myself as a data scientist, but my PhD is in economics. When I was doing my PhD, in 2012, I found this tool called Google Trends that tells you what people are searching, and where, and I became obsessed with it. I know that when people first see Google data, they say Oh this is weird, this isnt perfect data, but I knew that perfect data didnt exist. The traditional data sets left a lot to be desired.

What would your search records reveal about you? They could definitely tell Im a hypochondriac because Im waking up in the middle of the night doing Google searches about my health. There are definitely things about me that you could figure out. When making claims about a topic, its better to do it on aggregate, but I think you can figure out a lot, if not everything, about an individual by what theyre searching on Google.

You worked at Google? For about a year and a half. I was on the economics team and also the quantitative marketing team. Some was analysis of advertising, which I got bored of, which is one of the reasons I stopped working there.

Did working there give you an understanding that helped this book? Yeah, I think it did. All this data Im talking about is public. But from meeting the people who know more about this data than anyone in the world, Im much more confident that it means what I think it means.

Does it change your view of human nature? Are we darker and stranger creatures than you realised? Yeah. I think I had a dark view of human nature to begin with, and I think now its gotten even darker. I think the degree to which people are self-absorbed is pretty shocking.

When Trump became president, all my friends said how anxious they were, they couldnt sleep because theyre so concerned about immigrants and the Muslim ban. But from the data you can see that in liberal parts of the country there wasnt a rise in anxiety when Trump was elected. When people were waking up at 3am in a cold sweat, their searches were about their job, their health, their relationship theyre not concerned about the Muslim ban or global warming.

Was the Google search data telling you that Trump was going to win? I did see that Trump was going to win. You saw clearly that African American turnout was going to be way down, because in cities with 95% black people there was a collapse in searches for voting information. That was a big reason Hillary Clinton did so much worse than the polls suggested.

Whats next? I want to keep on exploring this, whether in academia, journalism or more books. Its such an exciting area: what people are really like, how the world really works. I may just research sex for the next few months. One thing Ive learned from this book, people are more interested in sex than I thought they were.

Interview by Killian Fox