#and then get mad at myself for feeling bad and stupid and like a loser

[insert-cool-themesong-here]

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[iridescentttears]

my thoughts on the deal with the toxic ex thing we’ve got going on from a late night noncoherent ramble hot take:

the whole billford shipping is so fascinatingly heinous and foul and complex and infuriating and interesting that i certainly can’t look away and i’m intrigued by seeing more of the billford sexy kinky shipping, like that’s not the right word for it but u get it. and i won’t be mad when i see it again but i will slightly shake my head disapprovingly because i know that no iteration of billford is in any ways healthy.

and as someone who’s been through DV and emotional abuse situations it’s kinda odd to me that ppl are making serious and silly takes on, oh no they’re fucking n sucking, they’re kinky af. (and i know that’s an oversimplification on that regard as well but just like for the point of this i think you get what i mean— like it’s in my hc that they hooked up after karaoke and maybe for a while after that it was like a partnersitustionship and in the year of our good lord and savior casual by chappell roan it’s a perfect addition to the lore timing wise)

but also it’s like, no they’re in an unfair power dynamic. sure they each come to it with unique sets of trauma and experience. but one participant is way older way “smarter” way more manipulative and to me there’s no way for that to be sexy. it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

i also, from experience was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and relief at the end of the book of bill when ford lets his family into his world, into his inner trauma, and they embrace him. they tell him that he’s not stupid or weak for being a victim of abuse they tell him that bill is a fucking loser! and he is. and the ppl who hurt me were fucking losers and so is every person who hurts people!! and having that moment when he was surrounded by their love, and he no longer felt shame and guilt from what happened in his past— that moment right there is what made the book something i will cherish. that’s a moment in the book where i out loud had a moment where i was like yes, this right here is the heart of what this is all about what gravity falls is at its core level.

like journal 1 taught me that i could embrace being weird and in the end i’ll turn out all right. the book of bill missing journal pages taught me that even tho ive had some shit happen to me and it’s changed who i am and how i see the world, i am more than a victim and if i allow myself to trust the ppl i love and let in the light, my past will not consume me and does not have to continue to be a part of my story. i can dance around in the woods with my niece and mock a triangle statue while wearing witch hats. i can grieve and move on and a lot of that is my internal work with myself like ford with himself, but its not done all alone, when you have love around you in your friends, in your chosen family whether they be by birth or not, that’s how you really learn to let it all go.

so in a way it’s really fucked up, the ship that is, but again i’m not mad at anyone who ships it. i’m sure you all have very different perspectives and thought and reasons that are totally valid, this is just how i feel from my perspective! i will continue to enjoy all the billford edits and fanart that comes across my page. i especially love anything to do with the breakup/divorce/ fiddleford, bill, ford love triangle angle. i love that shit

this is favorite thing on the internet rn:

@ raycipher2 on tiktok i think is the creator of this delightful viral sensation!

so i took a detour rant there, oops word vomit am i right?

if u read all this pls tell me if this makes any sense lmao

[f4iry-bell]

for your event!! would you do a Jameson x reader where the reader is hopeful journalist and is scared that she’ll never be loved and it reflects in her work.

pairing: jameson hawthorne x reader

summary: well ↑

taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @cassie6392 (lmk if u want to be in this)

word count: 784

a/n: anon, hope you like this, anon. ily!

masterlist | 300 event masterlist

Being in the school newspaper doesn't automatically make one a good journalist, just a good writer for her age. I got a lot of compliments about my writings but I never felt truly appreciated for my writings. Because people read two sentences and then poof, they say you're amazing. What about the rest of my work? Do those two sentences judge my entire work? Everytime I read and reread my work I want to rip the printed paper to pieces. Especially since I joined college, I somehow managed to be in the college newspaper as well, probably because I was in my school newspaper.

I didn't get any recommendations or any of that sort, I managed to believe that I am where I am for my talent. In school, I doubted myself a lot, I thought my writing was bad because people didn't read them entirely, it took me time to realise that they are just lazy to read. 

Or they just don't want to read my work. They just don't care about what I have to say. Even my own friends.

Maybe that's the reason I haven't made it yet. Sure, I do talk to people but you can't label them friends. With all of this, I somehow managed to grab the attention of the smartest, most handsome, and charming boy in college ever; Jameson Hawthorne.

His first words to me were “nice work.” I wanted to scream, because with those two words he also added “pretty girl.” 

We started by talking a lot after that. I went to him when I wasn't sure of my writing. He is an honest critique and I was able to take criticism. But there was this nagging feeling that told me that he's just tolerating me and my work. Sometimes I wonder if he ever regrets talking to me first at all.

I was about to leave the newspaper room when Jameson walked in holding the newest paper of our college, and he looked pissed. 

“Can we talk?” He asked, trying to keep his cool which was obvious.

“Sure. What is it about?” I asked. That's it, he's mad about something that I did. He's gonna leave too.

“What is this?” He placed the paper on my table with my article on being the wallflower.

“My article.” 

“I can see that. Did you take inspiration from a character? Or did you write it just with your imagination? Tell me it's either of those.” Jameson’s tone was firm.

I just stayed quiet. I'm not telling him that I'm a loser, and people hate me for that directly.

“Seriously?! I know you're shy and reserved, and don't like people. I know your family’s history. But writing that you're never been truly loved by anyone? That no one cares about you, ever?” He scoffed.

There was a moment of silence before I spoke. “It's the truth, Jameson. I'm not going to lie.” I shrugged. 

He's going to leave anyway, so what's the point of trying?

“6 months.” Was all he said.

“What?”

“We've known eacother for 6 months. And I've been nothing but nice to you. Yes, I tease and mess with you sometimes but have I ever given you the idea where I don't care about you?” He looked hurt now.

“I- It's complicated.”

“It's not, damn it. How can you not see it!” 

“See what? Cause all I'm seeing right now is my friend who is pissed at me about work, who is going to drop me like everyone else.”

Jameson frowned which made me frown. “You really think that just because I'm mad I'll drop you?”

“It's how people are, Jameson.”

“I'm not people. Those people were stupid.”

“You say this now. But I'll do something else to make you mad, and then you'll drop me.”

“You're stupid sometimes for a person who is way too good with words.” 

“What?”

“Why can't you see how much I love you?” His features relaxed, it looked like he just spilled something that he was holding for a very long time.

“You what?”

“I'm in love with you. And you're too blind to see it, and now I'm afraid you won't even believe it.”

“Jameson— I don't know what to say.”

“Just say you like me, you don't even have to love me. Say you have feelings for me, and I promise you I'll do everything to make you believe how much you can be loved. Don't push me away, don't sabotage this.”

After a few moments of silence I nodded. Jameson's shoulders relaxed as he took a step forward to kiss my forehead. “I'll do everything, okay? And you know how ‘everything’ can be when I say it.” 

[wabatle]

i don't think you guys realize how much of a loser i actually am.

tw. swearing, sui mention, sh mention, self hatred mention, just... a lot of things. If you're triggered by someone with moderate depression talking about random shit, I wouldn't interact for your own comfort.

I'm constantly a target of bullying from fuckfaces at my school

I'm fucking stupid and bad at making decisions

I'm can't help but cry at everything that goes wrong like a fucking bitch

I hate myself and act like an emo bitch

I try to talk to people and make friends but I'm fucking incapable to the point where I think about jumping

I scratch and scratch and scratch my arm because I'm anxious so my friends yell at me and I feel fucking stupid and want to dig a hole

all I do is complain so my friends are getting fed up with me

I never have any confidence in myself so my friends get mad at me

I constantly ruin things for my family

I'm always called gay or some type of shit and though it may be partly true, I know they're saying it as an insult

I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who that ugly, worthless, useless, dumb bitch is looking back at me

I have on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS had to go to the bathroom so I could cry

I'm such a fucking weirdo. Students my age in my school don't write fanfiction on Tumblr or have anything to do with anime or whatever shit and it's making me hate myself

I feel like a fucking alien

I get called a pick me

I'm not ‘popular’ which means I'm stupid and hated by almost every ‘popular’ kid

I'm compared to my peers because I don't wear makeup and don't act like a bitch like the ‘popular’ kids

I try to tell my friends about my interests but they never seem to care even though I listen to them talk so intently

I also try to tell my friends about my problems but they brush it off like it's nothing

I always change myself so I'm not called weird or treated different

I pretend to like or not like things so people don't hate me or yell at me or make fun of me

so fuck. I finally decided what I want to do. I'm just gonna shut the fuck up, stop participating in class, stop talking to my friends, just... stop. Fuck. If people still hate me after I completely close myself off maybe I will fucking do it.

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[bakiuwu]

Imagine saying someone posting screenshots to prove themselves innocent cause someone made a fucking alt to spread a fucjing child grooming rumor stupid ass internet beef, are yall slow do yall know how serious that shit, do you know how fucked up it is to be minding your business and for someone to hate you to make up a fucked rumor??? This literally fucking harassment I'm defending myself and showing how actually fucked people in this fuckinf fandom is, also to make a post about something then to throw fucking shade are fucking unserious

Then, on top of all this bullshit to have someone admit that they did it...and a person who I haven't a gave a fuck and even forgot abiut FUCKING YANDERE MOMO ARE YOU SHITING ME, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME BLOCKED AND YOUR STARTIGN SHIT??? being on apart of this stupid ass scheme l.....WHY cause you don't like me over some baki shit??? YOUR 23 HAVING A DAMN 15 YEAR OLD DOING YOUR SHIT, ARE YOU SURE YOUR NOT THE DAMN GROOMER WERID PICE OF SHIT Why are you close with a damn 15 year older who happens to be a fucking proshipper who has drawn cp before you fucking bitch, it's already bad you write rape fanfics BUT THIS no wonder you were able to make uo such a rumor, you self-progecting cunt

ALSO FOR YOU SAINT FUCK ASS PUPPY TO PLAY THIS OFF LIKE ITS A JOKE??? HATE YOU??? I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU I AXTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOUR A KID CLEARY SURROUND BY WERID ASS ADULTS, I DONT KNOW ANY OF YOU PEOPLE??? AND YOUR DAMN LIE YOU HAVE HARRSED ME AND MY FRIEND BEFORE YALL CAN NOT BE SERIOUS

Then too pussy to even say anything to me cause WHAT YOUR SCARED OF ME OR SOMETHING??? WTF YOUR A SPINELESS PIECE OF ACTUALLY SHIT, then to act like your changing a new leaf cause you decide to tell WHEN YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR SOME TIME APPARENTLY, ARE YOU THAT BOTHER BY ME.....what happen to people having a fucking life, your so mad at someone that get a proshipper 15 year old to help your GROWN ASS to make up a fucking child grooming rumor.....that is the most Pathetic loser shit I have ever witnessed, then for this to be played off like this not serious......this fandom is really fucked up,

I don't even do anything all I do is post dumbass shit.....this actually funny....I have no words....so agian if you actually think any of this is silly internet beef.....there's something wrong with you, I feel like people think shit on the internet isn't serious like you can say and do whatever they pls and think nobody should call them out for theyre dangerous behavior this is very serious shit like this can ruin someone's fucking life....this is the last thing I have to say....this so disgusting

[jynxisment8l]

🔪 Jeff’s intro (Sorta). 🔪

Hey guys. We have multiple Jeff The Killer fictives, and I am one of them. I’m not really sure what to say, so I’ll say what I feel is most important.

To those of you who think I (or any of our other Jeff’s) am like my source material…

No. I will not hurt you.

No. I will not threaten you.

No. I will not flirt with you. (Saying this because some fan-fictions and AU’s characterize us as being overly-flirty.)

Yes. I (and most of the other Jeff’s beside JJ,) hate fan girls, fan boys, people who swoon over me.

Do NOT come after me (or the other Jeff fictives) solely because I am a Jeff The Killer fictive. I mean it. I will get mad (I’ll try to stay calm, but I can’t make any promises).

My pronouns are he/him, and my role is to be a.. protector (and a trauma holder), I think. But I also have S/H urges sometimes (and I feel as if I need to act on them or something bad will happen.. ND things), so, the ‘protector role thing’ can contradict itself sometimes. I’m also hypersexual and hyperromantic, due to trauma. I only act on my urges when I’m aroused. I’m not totally sure of my age, but I think I slide from 17-years-old to 21-years-old. I am also omnisexual with a preference for men (trans, cis, I don’t care). I also tend to age regress involuntarily; I don’t know what my little age is yet.

Some more info before I go: I also, like Lucifer, crave attention sometimes, and I will post about it. I also have some BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) symptoms, so please don’t tell me what I already know. Thanks losers. /lh

Anyways, enough with the mumbo-jumbo. Here’s my body-claim/face-claim(s) (AKA: what I look like):

Art Credits: @/slen.dermania (I don’t know what socials they’re on. Sorry.)

Art Credits: @/eelfishez on Tumblr.

(How I represent myself in Gacha Life 2)

Hope you enjoyed my stupid-ass intro. -Jeff (🔪)

[damnfandomproblems]

This is the person who wrote fandom problem 3657 about gn!readers

Love how everyone assumed I hate gn/nb!reader fics rather then taking five seconds to think and realize that I hate the fact no one tags them -_-

I'm not mad that people are making gn!reader fics--make them all you want, if if makes you happy then hell yeah keep doing it--I'm mad that they won't show and ounce of consideration and just tag the fucking thing as a gn or nb!reader! I have to fight every goddamn day to get people use she/her for me because people will constantly undermine my gender and use they/them instead as a way to advoid fully calling me a women, so yeah, they/them pronouns being used to refer to me in any way is triggering because they are used to constantly to misgender me!

I am not asking people to stop making gn!readers, I am asking people to tag them! How the hell does me complaining about people not tagging their shit correctly in anyway make me a bad guy?

"Oh you're a loser!" HOW!? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO READ X READERS WITHOUT GETTING SUICIDAL BECAUSE NO ONE WARNED THAT THIS WAS OR TAGGED IT AS A GN!READER!!!

WORSE YET SOME PEOPLE WILL PURPOSEFULLY TAG IT AS A FEM AND/OR MASC READER BECAUSE IT CAN "be read either way" or "it's gn so it's technically both"!!! How the hell am I suppose to avoids those!?!?! Why should I be expected to magical know and avoid those fics rather then the writers being expected to just tag it as a gn!reader???

"Oh but how do you keep reading so far in if it causes you dysphoria" a causally use of they or them is fine, but once I realize that's all that is being used, I feel like stupid idiot who just been misgendered for the past X minutes that I was reading and was too fucking dumb to realize it, and that is what makes me dysphoric! It's the realization itself that cause the dysphoria, not the actually reading of it!

I lost count of how many times i went into a fem!reader x fem character tag only to realize that it's actually a gn/nb!reader x fem character fic and get so upset (because y'know dysphoria is inherently a nonsense but extreme uncontrollable feeling but go off on how I'm over reacting, it really helps /tone tag:fuck you), and have to go on a walk so I don't hurt myself because I despite looking into the fem!reader tag, blacklisting nb/gn!reader tags, I still got some prick decided to post their gn!reader fic untagged and unwarned in the fem!reader tags because its "inclusive"

Guess transfems who have dysphoria over being misgendered with they/them pronouns constantly shouldn't be reading x readers though, my fucking bad. how dare I want people to just tag their shit correctly though, so lame and selfish and weak of me. So fucking lame and childish of me for not feeling included in these 100% amazing "inclusive" fics and wanting them to be tagged

Fuck all the pricks who help confirmed my beliefs on how fandom refuses to accept "undesirable" queers. God forbid not every trans person is comfortable with they/them

Just fucking tag your gn/nb!readers, I'm not a bad person for wanting that

And in advance, double fuck you to anyone who still wants to agrue about how inclusive gn!readers are and that it isn't a big deal when they're untagged because they're so super duper inclusive even though they are often dysphoria inducing and unavoidable when not tagged. shit in your hand and swallow it asshole

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

[wifiwuxians]

sorry for the late reply! im the songxue anon! just saw your responses a few minutes ago and my gosh, you're really very sweet ;; im sorry to have caused so much of a fuss but thank you for being so compassionate and kind ;; (also i adore that crying xue yang omigosh what are you talking abt how can you think thats not amazing its perfect i love it). also the tags? on your first reply??? people are mean to song lan????? WHO IS MEAN TO SONG LAN??? WHY??? HOW????! i'll be honest, i tend to avoid getting involved with fandom discourse At All Costs bc i dont need that kind of stress in my life, so mainly i just look at fanart and fics i like and stay in my lane so i had no idea there were people who hate on song lan???? like??????????? how????????????????? okay, i love xue yang, he's my baby, but i TOTALLY understand people hating him. he has no rights and he deserved everything bad that happened to him and so much more. i just happen to adore him and wanna spoil my stupid lil meowmeow. like it makes SENSE to be mad at xue yang but like.................................. how can anyone hate song lan?!?! HE DID NOTHING WRONG?????? LITERALLY HE JUST GOT HURT, OVER AND OVER, FOR NO REASON????? im sorry for going on such a tangent over a very short tag you added but im a lil flabbergasted that anyone could hate on Best Boy. also while im going on tangents about tags, your 500 aus are part of what i adore about your art oki. like you have such a wonderful and vivid imagination and the way that you give life to the ideas with your art is breath-taking. even if its a concept i dont think i would enjoy just hearing the idea, when i see your execution i am 100% on board because my gosh you have such a beautiful way of bringing life to things.

and you don't need to apologize for anything btw! it's totally oki to assert boundaries and i really dont speak for anyone other than myself. i just saw a few "dont tag as ship" things and i was like "ahh... oki they prolly wouldnt like me" cuz im an anxious bean and i also dont wanna reveal myself as a gross loser who likes weird ships to one of my fav artists, ya know? so you were 100% just doing the good selfcare thing (which much approval, we stan) and i just got the wrong idea cuz im a nervous weirdo. as for revealing myself i feel a bit embarrassed to do so now after being such a weirdo at you oaeurhgiauehrg but one way or another, your are IS getting reblogged, especially now that i have permission to look at some pieces disrespectfully oiaerhjgohre (not SUPER disrespectfully, just maybe a lil bit of 'they're in love your honor' oki) (a silly random thing but im a bit happy to know you dont hate songxue oijghiouehrg its silly but knowing my favorite 'songxue artist' (not-really-songxue-but-i-totally-see-it) doesnt hate my otp is kinda nice 😊 i thought the irony of it was a bit funny before but i also felt guilty for seeing stuff that your didnt really intend with your art and yeah eoirjgioejrg basically my initial asks were all that struggle so its just kinda nice. its not a very popular ship so its cool when its not disliked, even if its not actively enjoyed. idk if im making sense LOL sorry) ohergiuearhg sorry i feel like i went on a bunch of tangents instead of responding to you properly and i think maybe i have a problem of Talking Too Much so i swear i will really try to keep this one short. i love your art, youre completely valid and wonderful, im doing okay and im really happy you responded to me so kindly despite my strangeness, i think you're neat and you deserve a ton of people showering you with praise cuz damn, you make things great. and i'd like to take a moment to express how you can really influence people with your art: i never even considered wen chao x xue yang before your art and now i think they're a really funny couple, and thats completely bc of how lovely your creations are. please believe in your ability to make people love the things that you love through your beautiful art. be proud of how incredible you are. you make everything a lil brighter just by existing but the fact that you exist and choose to share your beautiful art (and fics, ive read some of them and i Love your writing, its incredible) you make the world a whole lot brighter cuz damn, now i get to look at this stuff and just smile and feel warm inside. so thank you for making my life a lil happier and please be confident in yourself!

okay sorry to put em all together but also i felt it was best so let's begin,

^me

1- you've caused no fuss at all so don't worry about that!! i just wanted to make sure it wasn't a ships in the night situation LOL i wanted to make sure you got my response! :) (I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY THE MEME LOL) as for song lan meanness, that's what i'm saying THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING and YET! this is why i stay out of the tags all the time. there's just too much shit out there in the world and sometimes i fail at just gritting my teeth and letting people say their thang, and it gets me in trouble... but maaaaaaan i really need to say it's a shame you wanna stay anonymous because i think we'd get on like a house on fire! you've summed up exactly how i feel about both of them + how i wish others reacted to them haha (but no pressure to reveal yourself! just know i think we'd get along)

and as for 500 AUs... i'm so glad 😭 i am an AU machine, i have so many i can't keep track and they bring me so much joy, but i admittedly feel sort of alone in making them haha SO THIS MEANS A LOT!! especially you complimenting my execution like i think i may just melt into a puddle and pass away jfghsjh thank you,, so much

2- but seriously, don't worry about the tag thing, it is 100% a boundary thing and the only time i think i'd dislike someone for it is if they saw i said not to tag it as something in the body of the post and did it anyway! 'cause that's just rude (and then i feel despair bc what else can i do to get people NOT to tag LMAO) it's for my own comfort, i'm not trying to dictate what people can or can't ship or feel, it's just i'd rather not hear about it :p especially when it's not what i drew! but also i'm a favorite artist? 😳

you haven't been a weirdo at all! no pressure to go mask off but please don't let anything be because you think i think you're a weirdo or a loser, ok? it's not true! hooray reblogs my NUTRIENCE.. THANK YOU! (but haha this isn't a 'theyre in love' type of piece but the one i personally look at most disrespectfully is when i drew sl straight up eating xy's flesh off his ribs... i know cannibalism isn't for everyone though and neither is gory imagery! just... sharing... oversharing...)

for the aside: no problem! i will say for transparency purposes that my relationship with it IS complicated and that i personally would need it to fit a very uncommon mold (that i do not often see) for me to be like 👍 which is why i tend to stick to my own stuff + what a chosen few friends make when it comes to them in general, but my god you're a rare breed! i've never met anyone who had it as their otp!! you're braver than any US marine because it's such a rarepair it didn't make it into the like top 11 mdzs ships on ao3 or whatever...

3- i love talking though! i really appreciate your messages and i hope this response wasn't a complete jumbled mess ahhh...

thank you so so much for all the lovely praise and encouragement, getting these messages actually helped me break out of my funk a little and do some chores, so know your words do have an impact too! 💕 i need to remember more often that as long as even one person smiles at my work, it will have been worth it. i promise i'm trying ;; sometimes i get caught up in the numbers still and i'm very ashamed of that, but damn, you took time out of your day to let me know that you love and appreciate what i do, and that's honestly made me tear up a little, so THANK YOU AGAIN !! i'm sorry i'm failing at expressing myself and my gratitude properly kgjdklhjkgh (also, thank you for the xuechao support, like THAT's what i call a RAREPAIR! (canned laughter) i really try to spread the joy with those two)

i'm really floundering on how to say thank you well enough so... maybe i can show you some birthday art i made for a friend who also loves xy and sl and xy/chao (which of course now im being nitpicky about but the friend loved it so idc LOL)

[ursbearhug]

I saw this video stitch of a gal being like "boys don't want 200 pounds girl" and a guy going on a barely intelligible tangent. One of the points he made was akin to "less endowed men are just mad because they can't reach through the thiccness".

I don't know how to tell you this but if you can't uplift somebody without putting someone else down, you're just as big of an asshole as the people you're trying to oppose.

I'm yet to take logic classes myself but I've had the (mis)fortune of learning a bit about few 'talented' orator of the ancient times. And the argument of "haha penis small" is not only fucking stupid but also showing off one's incapability to tackle the actual argument correctly. Ad personam, as they're called, are non-logical arguments and are used when the speaker cannot come up with a way to win argument with substantive, compelling and reasonable arguments.

I can't even call it childish because I'm 80% sure children can come up with better arguments than attacking somebody for the matters they have no power over. (I know a lot of people can come and be like "actually, I was bullied for being fat in school, so check mate, parry that you filthy casual, destroyed with facts and logic; that don't care about your feelings, take copium and seethe", and while I am sorry you went through that, I think, know and firmly believe that children are *not* mindless creatures of hatred and pain; they learn from others, most likely adults, that it is okay to be a fucking asshole).

And what are you even trying to prove with that point anyway? Haha, folk with small peepees cannot enter ze pussy, what a bunch of losers! What...?

But alas, what did I expect? It's 'not like other girls' shit all over again, except, this time it's parading as fake fat allies; seeing body shaming as bad, but not bad enough to *NOT* shame men for their penises. Gotcha. I get it now.

Chew gravel and die 💜

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

Mod a psych evaluation may indeed be needed for them especially their Queen R leader, look at this mess.

“I like you and @ [redacted] very much. Despite everything you two criticize him but still know this is fake where as others would flip or leave// I have to say it’s a breath of air . The other pr blogs say things that actually make no sense and make predictions that aren’t even based on anything factual with no receipts. These people wait for the receipts get in touch with whoever and that’s it. They also don’t invalidate anyone’s feelings about the guy”

An “anon” sent the bold to one of her minions naming her and another “anon” aka Queen R pretending to be an anon (look at the spacing) sent a reply to one of her minion blogs. If this isn’t delusion 101, I don’t know what is. Yikes 😳

I swear this is how Trump supporters are in the states, they think everyone else is the bad guy, not realizing they are doing the very thing they are criticizing and claiming others are doing. It’s insane.

No sane PR blogs have made any predictions about anything, nor do they even acknowledge any of these blogs. She also told on herself, she must stalk the other pr blogs.

I swear this girl and her minions have made up their own world where they are right and anyone not fully agreeing are the “enemy”. They have constantly talk shit about Chris and this fandom all the time so the “don’t invalidate anyone’s feelings about the guy” is laughable. They stay calling him and his fandom idiots and morons. They even stated that’s the reason this fandom was chosen for this shitshow.

I don’t understand, is she looney or just mad they have to send anons to each other anons because his fandom is over their bullshit. 😂

okay, well i have thoughts...

first. the spacing thing is sus for sure, but i'm not convinced they are all queenie. could be, for sure. and while i don't doubt her capabilities, it would be difficult to be that stupid for so long.

i also think that anyone hanging to any of the 'team' narratives after all this time, really just don't want to stray from their thinking of their favorite. or they still want to live vicariously through the nunemployed (hi lonely!). either way, it's been what, two years? and they are all still here? i would encourage them to get a life of their own, but they all seem like desperate pick mes to me....

now, for american politics. yes, i agree. many of the same communication tactics are apparent for the teams and for the trump campaign. it's ridiculous and moronic, and screams that they need real life relationships to at least give them a hug.

but yes. some have noted it before. but queenie has a habit of attacking, threatening, screaming at and trying to send hate to anyone who dares to question her. i myself have been the recipient of it. if she was so confident in her knowledge, she would speak her peace and move on. but no. she's a desperate loser who needs attention online because she doesn't get any in real life.

and anyone can tell her i said that.

[heartshattering]

/// eating, s-h mention (I'm safe though)

Kinda early, but I took one of the pills I'd usually save for later on in the night to calm down and not s-h...

It's funny to me how there are doctors who tell me that I shouldn't be on any meds at all or that I'm "too young" for meds etc. when meds are literally keeping me from doing s-h or starving myself or throwing up in this house...

I'm just trying not to feel any extreme feelings but it's so hard when I'm feeling trapped and like I'm always fucking up... the pill helps calm me down and hopefully tonight will go okay but then a memory comes back to me and I just get mad and want to make myself bleed again. Like I don't go around telling people "You always do (whatever bad thing)!" or "You're so useless, you never do (good thing)!" but apparently saying that to me is fine? Mom saw my leg earlier and asked if I had cut myself so I have to be careful but ugh it's tempting.

People don't care about the things I do get right, I guess they feel better discouraging me and making me feel like a loser... maybe they're right, idk. I'm just feeling really "insane" right now, I'm stopping myself from blocking my one shitty annoying friend (I sent her a message earlier telling her I'm busy and not to ask me about personal things anymore, but it still didn't feel harsh enough, I know it's bad but I want to take my anger out on someone who pisses me off or else I feel like I'm just going to take my anger out on myself...)

I feel like no one thinks I'll be a successful TA/researcher if I do decide to go down that path (even though I've already done grad-level teaching and lab work FOR FREE while the people who weren't doing any actual work were the ones getting paid). I feel like people don't see any point in me going after any of my stupid goals because at the end of the day I'm just a loser not going anywhere in life... I just feel so fucking empty and stuck in a depression pit.

[beatbawksradio]

vent about having my accomplishments undermined

just feeling melancholy today about smth that happened literally 12 years ago, that has ended up still sticking with me today. it kinda sent me on this spiral of thinking about other scenarios like it and how often ive been trapped with people who treat me like this.

see, back in 2012, i went to my first and only ever convention. I've never gone to another mostly bc ive struggled financially all my life and can't afford the tickets for such a social luxury that im too anxious to even properly enjoy. but, its also bc of how... conflicting my first experience was. there was a panel for pokemon fans basically, which my friends was excited to bring me to, and during this panel, they held a tiny little drawing contest. it was like, you got small dry erase boards, and 15 seconds to draw the pokemon described. being an artist and also young (still in high school), i was super pumped to volunteer for it- i have always had very extreme stage fright, as evidenced by me being red as hell and sweating the whole time, but i powered through that for the sake of having fun in my Element. the final challenge was a 60 second chance to doodle mewtwo, and this was right when the y mega was revealed so i went with that, and the crows went insane. i won the contest, by a landslide, and it was such a genuinely amazing and unbelievable moment in my life. it was just a stupid local 15 second drawing contest with a small crowd of people, but hearing everyone be so excited about my art was so. just incredible.

but... afterwards... the friend who brought me there, while i was excited and celebrating that id actually, yknow, won something for the first time in my life, instead just. told me "well it wasnt really fair bc those other people weren't actually real artists like you are"

and that completely took the wind out of my sails. it crushed me. i felt like i had cheated, like i had stolen a victory from people more deserving, and that i should've never have raised my hand to begin with. id won a little prize from it but couldn't even feel all that happy about it. i felt like i didnt deserve it. i felt like people were mad at me for being decent at art

12 years, and that experience has still stuck with me. i remembered it bc my job is doing this funny little "daily stretching" challenge, and i was going to sign up for it bc i already stretch all throughout my work day, but i ended up holding myself back. bc i thought, well, is it really fair when i already do this as a daily habit? this challenge is to get people who don't stretch often to do it more, and reward them for it. would it be right to reward someone who doesn't need the extra push?

so i didn't. i thought itd be unfair. i thought people would be mad at me if i won bc i have such an advantage already.

and its just sent me down this spiral of remembering all the times ex-friends and past abusers have done this. how I've never been able to just feel proud of myself or happy that ive accomplished something or that im even just decent and capable at whatever the thing is. i can't talk about my meta-raised pokemon bc it isn't impressive when meta specialized mons plow through things. i can't talk about my art getting big numbers bc it isn't impressive when you bandwagon something and it gets spread around bc of that. i can't talk about defeating a tough monster in monhun bc its just my leveled up equipment carrying me. I'm not allowed to be good at anything, bc I'm either just cheating or i dont deserve the win bc i work harder than others. and me winning makes everyone mad that they didn't win instead

so i just accepted being a loser. being stupid. being bad at everything. bc it was easier to be a loser and let my friends always beat me at everything than to make a loser out of my friends, even though i was never trying to compete to begin with, i just wanted to have fun. but I'm not allowed to have fun bc me having fun makes other people upset and mad. and that sucks. id rather just lose. then everyone else can be happy

but. yknow. obviously that's not healthy. and what it ended up leading to was me just, isolating. i didn't wanna show my art to people anymore, i didn't wanna play games with anyone, i didn't want anyone to see me and be negatively affected by my existence. so i just started doing things by myself, and trying to live off self-sustained validation and happiness. and there is some merit to learning how to validate yourself and make yourself happy, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your ability to socialize entirely.

bc the problem was never with me. it was the people i was surrounded by. bc real friends talk you up, cheer you on, and celebrate your accomplishments. they dont see themselves as losers just bc you've won, they see themselves as teammates who have won simply bc you're happy. they don't make life a competition. that's how friendships are supposed to be. it was never about there being something wrong with me. i wasn't the problem

[kyrodo]

What the hell did you mean by "higher" anyway? You think you got the moral high ground? Are you fucking kidding me!?

You've only ever acknowledged what's convenient for you when it's convenient for you no matter how overwhelming the evidence was otherwise. You are a total fucking lunatic. If you ever wanted someone to rip your ass a new one this is how you fucking do it! Time is only kind to the truth. You should've seen it coming asshole!

How much time did you think you were going to buy dropping a shout on my page? How much were you hoping to continue what you started you sick fuck!? Where the fuck is your social leverage now asshole!? It's a lot harder to quiet someone you can't manipulate isn't it!?

You hide behind subtext but one way or another you've paid the price. Your methods only work when you half ass communication. When there's no context to reach for your entire operation falls apart.

Am I "mad enough" for you yet? Is this the reaction you were looking for? Is getting people to react to you all you fucking care about!? Controlling people, setting them up to act in whatever fucked up way you want. You are fucking done!

How long did you think you could pull the wool over my eyes? How long did you think you could get away with it? Play nice with me just enough to continue harassing me and have me be ok with it? How fucked up are you!? You really took being a horrible person to the highest fucking level! I don't know how you justify it but maybe it's just a skill you learn to cheese your way through like you do with other people.

This is who you are and I'm glad I'm not you. I'm glad that I will never represent the same fucked up ideas you do. That will never do the same shit you do to someone else. This is your soul. This is your spirit and it is fucking ugly. This is who you are. And now that you know who I actually am let's compare and contrast. No wonder you can't speak clean. No wonder you lie and hide. Because you have shit to get away with and I fucking don't. So let's fucking go.

I am a better person than you will ever be. I used to dig deep into myself to the lowest possible level and none of my shit goes as deep as yours. You are total fucking loser. I didn't just beat your stupid word games, I thoroughly beat you as a person. I beat your entire fucking identity. About the only thing I haven't beaten is your level of cruelty. Unless you're as good at keeping your eyes closed as I've been, I will sing of your fuck up till the end of time bitch. Salvage whatever pathetic defenses you have for yourself because none of it means shit.

You don't oops my bad the kind of shit you pulled off. Whatever twisted image you tried to make for me, you made yourself many times worse. Get fucked. I hit rock bottom when you found me and all I had to show for it was an affair. I witnessed your rock bottom and it might as well be an endless pit. How do you feel about yourself now asshole. Without all the bullshit you wrap yourself in, what do you actually deserve? The only kind of respect anyone should have for you at this point is respect you got by force.

I've seen the political bullshit you constantly retweet. You have the mind of a dictator and nothing shows it better than your actions. What do you think of me now? Now that you've spied on me all the way down to when I jack off. What is your true assessment of my character compared to your atrocities? Because we are not even on the same fucking level. You did everything you could to break me, but in the end I found my confidence. In the end I grew stronger than you could ever imagine. All I still see is the steaming pile of shit you once were but my hopes for you are slim at best. People don't just do what you do, especially not just because someone was ranting at you. Hearts break all the time. People live with it and move on. But instead of letting things slide, you chose to act in a very extreme way, and you chose extremely poorly. So make whatever excuses you can for yourself, it is nothing. All of it means absolute dog shit. You have nothing.

Actions have consequences. Choices have consequences. And for the kind of power you had at your disposal, you have shown that you are unfit to wield it with absolute certainty. A show of force that turned out to be a show of overwhelmingly undeserved cruelty. You can't just hack everyone who pisses you off asshole. You ever want your precious cyber security clearance revoked then come find me. I will be more than happy to report you. What counter threat do have for me at this that means fuck all. You already did your damage and all it took was a few words.

Oh yeah, I know I say a lot when I'm mad, but you also don't expect people to be this fucking stupid. One doesn't expect people to be this fucking extreme.

So I say again, who the actual fuck are you!? I can be angsty and edgy at times, I find a bit of spooky stuff attractive every now and then, but outright putting people on the spot and harassing them for throwing pebbles at you doesn't fucking vibe with me! Get your fucking head checked! I'm glad I got to fuck off before playing a part in what you did to me. I'm glad we never became friends because I never want to be a part of something like that!

You can play it off, rationalize, downplay it all you want but you people are fucking sick. Even for a horror fan this is insanely and completely wrong. And at every turn, at every moment you could have stopped, at every moment you realized what you did was undeserved you kept going. And just knowing that you ever existed is a fucking curse.

And underneath it all I was so quick to forgive, so quick try to be okay with it, to put up with all the abuse hoping things would get better, because a part of my still believed in you even after all the times you betrayed me. That part of me is long dead.

I loved you, I loved you so much that snot was pouring into my lap when it was finally over. I mourned you. My entire body was shaking when it realized I had to give up on you. But I am done with you and everything you stand for. Even taking into account the songs lyrics and images I've shared with you, you are the most abusive person I've ever met. It's like you were trying to win the fucking contest, and I fucking hate you!

The overwhelming disparity in our conduct is how I get over you.