#and then brought the correct thing back again...

[prlssprfctn]

Jason, who starts gaslighting his family members by saying that All Blades were always a thing and that they just didn't take him seriously, once they found out about it.

Bruce, frustrated: If you yielded a magical sword in the past, I would know, Jaylad.

Jason: Jesus fucking Christ, I told you, I don't use it often, since it uses my soul. But I did mention that I have it!

Dick: You did not!

Jason: I said that Robin gives me magic! I said I *am* magic!

Bruce: That's—

Dick: But—

Bruce and Dick, turning to Damian helplessly: Your verdict?

Damian, who got already paid by Jason (price was two sneaked in rabbits): That's true. Mother said Todd had always had them. He only ever was sent to All Caste because he needed to be taught how to use it correctly. Didn't Dulcra say that you were the chosen one, Todd?

Jason, intentionally irritated: Exactly! Thank you.

The rest of the family: ●○●

Bruce, sitting in the Cave, in the middle of his 300th existential crisis: I— If Jason is the chosen one, was I technically wrong in our argument?

Dick: ...I can't believe that this is what takes you to accept that you were wrong, and not the fact that— Dunno, he is your son— And you kinda failed him—

Tim: On the more important note, should we call Jason Harry Potter now or something?

Stephanie, snickering: Jason... You are a wizard!

Bruce, sniffling: He did like these books as a child. Perhaps it was his way to try to tell us the truth.

Dick: Damn... Once we were arguing, and I told him that he had no magic... How foolish I was.

Jason, pressing phone to the shoulder, while cooking: ...And now they are staring at me, like I am about to do the whole Enchantix transformation, lol

Talia: I admit, that's amusing. Damian did a great job at supporting this circus.

Ra's voice on the background: Enchantix? What is it? Had that boy found ANOTHER magical device plot?!

Talia: ...Do you think I am too old to pull the same move you did on my father?

Jason: Nah, it is never too late to trick your dad. Get his ass.

Talia: You are absolutely correct.

Talia, screaming to Ra's: He did, father. It is related to the constant cycle of being brought back alive.

Jason, turning around to Damian, who is playing with rabbits on his couch: Prepare, little gremlin. You are about to testify falsely again, this time to your grandfather.

Damian, snorting: Two golden fish and one parrot.

Jason: I will warn your mother.

Tim, with Excel Chart open: Okay, so we figured out that he has All Blades, strange version of immortality, quick recovery thanks to Pit... What other magic Jason can have we don't know about it yet?

Cassandra: Cooking?

Stephanie: ...I think he is just a normal person, Cass.

Dick: NO, no, listen, it is one thing to cook normally, another to be trusted by Alfred.

Duke: ...You are reaching, guys. I think he is just a good chief.

Bruce: He always makes me laugh.

Tim: That's not— B, no one laughs, but you, so what kind of magic power is that?!

Duke: Listen, y'all, what if he sees ghosts?

Everyone: (pauses)

Stephanie, hitting Tim on the shoulder: WRITE IT DOWN, WRITE IT DOWN—

Tim: I am putting it in the "unclear" column, but good idea, dude.

Alfred, glancing at all of this sceptically: Dear Lord, this family is not your brightest soldiers...

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

minor corrections: there are two tiers, ainur and maiar (three if you count eru illuvatar but he's his own thing). morgoth is an ainu (the higher tier), and sauron is a maia (the lower tier), but gandalf, saruman, and the balrog are also maia, so they're on the same tier as sauron. ungoliant and shelob are never explicitly placed in this hierarchy, but given how ungoliant overpowers morgoth, she would be on a similar tier to him in terms of power. as for shelob, there's a bit in lotr describing how sauron thinks of her as a pet cat:

And as for Sauron: he knew where she lurked. It pleased him that she should dwell there hungry but unabated in malice, a more sure watch upon that ancient path into his land than any other that his skill could have devised. And Orcs, they were useful slaves, but he had them in plenty. If now and again Shelob caught them to stay her appetite, she was welcome: he could spare them. And sometimes as a man may cast a dainty to his cat (his cat he calls her, but she owns him not) Sauron would send her prisoners that he had no better uses for: he would have them driven to her hole, and report brought back to him of the play she made.

(the archaic sense of owe as in "acknowledge"/"yield to", so "his cat he calls her, but she owns him not" meaning she doesn't recognize his authority (x))

also, the deal between ungoliant and morgoth relates to three gems, the silmarils, which have nothing to do with sauron's helmet, although morgoth does wear them in a crown. however by the time lotr comes around, the silmarils no longer exist as-is in middle-earth: one was cast in the true sea, another into a volcano, and the last is at the prow of a semi-mythical ship (and, fun fact, the source of light in the phial galadriel gives frodo, which he ends up using against shelob!)

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

[pancakeke]

hiiiii can I get a court of public opinion to comment on an argument/my current drama issue? long ass post under the cut

I put numbered questions in bullets under screenshots + explanations. you don't gotta respond to all 12 questions but if you could reply with a number and a corresponding answer I'd really appreciate the outside perspective.

background: my friend and I are both autistic. yesterday he used the term "migrant labor" in a way that I interpreted to refer to an individual. my running gag is to call him a capitalist and accuse him of exploiting people at any opportunity cause he's openly a communist and it's funny to mess with him. he makes jokes back to me and neither of us have ever had issue with this. so i said he loves to exploit migrant workers. his response to insist that I didn't understand the concept of the term "migrant". after accusing me of being wrong a lot and a lot of me trying to figure out what he was talking about, he finally explained that he was talking about "migrant labor" as an economic system, even though I was talking about "migrant workers" as individuals. like I even used a different term so i really don't understand his pivot. but I digress.

before he actually explained what he meant by arguing about the term "migrant labor", my repeated questions about what he was trying to correct led to this:

context: he is canadian and I'm american. we frequently joke about how we spell words differently, but also throughout this conversation he brought up different laws, so I didn't know if he put "labor" in quotes as a joke to discredit the source for being american under the reasoning of "fuck what america thinks about any topic" or he was indicating that the link was american and that meant its information wouldn't apply to canadian laws/definitions that he may have been trying to reference.

I requested clarification for this and other things he said but did not receive explanations. he claims the message in the screenshot provided a sufficient answer.

this is the link i sent him on discord. it is very relevant to this post.

Question 1: do the options I came up seem reasonable or do they seem like wild guesses?

Question 2: you think it's possible that both of my assumptions could be wrong?

Question 3: does his response of the word "labor" in quotes bring to mind an obvious explanation that I didn't consider or mention here?

I again said that I didn't know what he meant and asked for more detail.

he has still not explained what he meant by responding "labor" in quotes and insists that it was a sufficient response that provided necessary context for me to understand what he meant by it. now he is focused on telling me that the encyclopedia britannica is an american publication.

Question 4: is it clear that I was aware the encyclopedia britannica is american before he repeated this information?

Question 5: using your own personal knowledge of the encyclopedia britannica and considering the words making up that URL I shared, do you understand why he repeated this information?

Question 6: given the screenshots so far, do you have any reason to believe that an explanation of the nationality of the encyclopedia britannica provides the remaining context needed to clarify what he meant in the first screenshot when he replied "labor" in quotes?

Question 7: understanding that he was actually making this statement to provide additional context to his previous statement, do you believe it was reasonable for me to follow what he was doing here?

note: my messages time stamped 1:00 is related to the information I had been given before he sent that screenshot. it's not a response to the screenshot.

ultimately this was the whole issue: he refused to believe that my link was credible because it used the american english spelling of "labor" rather than the british english spelling which is "labour". he felt that pointing out the spelling was enough information and context for me to draw the same conclusion.

going back to that link I initially sent: ultimately he made an incorrect assumption from the text of the url. i do not know why the url uses american english, but the actual encyclopedia britannica page only uses the british english spelling "labour" (except when citing book titles that use the american english form). despite being fully capable of viewing the page, he refused to click the link on principle and based this entire argument on the basis that his assumption was correct.

Question 8: do you believe he provided adequate explanation before sharing the the wiki?

Question 9: would you say it's an easy to start with the information "the encyclopedia britannica is an american publication" and conclude that "it is published using british english, not american english"?

Question 10: would you consider it a "direct explanation" that he sent the screenshot without saying anything about it in text form?

Question 11: were you personally able to come to the conclusion he expected me to understand using only the first screenshot in this post?

Question 12: was it reasonable for him to insist he knew the contents of the encyclopedia britannica web page based only on its url?

this is not the first time this friend has done something like this to argue despite quoting "Socratic method" all the fucking time.

Bonus Question: how well would you say my friend employed methods of socratic debate in these screenshots?

[starfleetteddybear]

An Enduring Affection ch 3 on ao3. Small teaser below.👇

“And if it were not enough that you dared to touch my beloved with your malicious hands…” Incensed, Emmrich continued with his eyes burning veilfire green a hair’s breadth away. “You have broken the laws of the Grand Necropolis by attempting to remove one of it’s residents without the Mourn Watch Council’s permission. Do you know what the punishment of that interference would be?”

“Please, Lich Lord of the Necropolis.” The man began to beg, raising his hands in supplication. “I ask for your forgiveness. Don’t take me before my time! I have so much to live for!”

If things had not been so dire, I might have laughed at the picture painted before me. A noble brought to his knees before the son of a butcher and a cook. They could have worked in this man’s estate for all I knew. Death was truly a great equalizer.

….

“The knife-eared wre-” The noble began, his voice aggravated and eager to shift the blame to me.

“You will speak of my beloved with respect, if you are to speak at all.” Emmrich warned, a chill sweeping down my spine at his threatening tone.

Gooseflesh spread across my arms both from the cold and the thrill of pleasure that bloomed in my chest. I stood spellbound, listening to Emmrich defend my honor with such grace and strength. I had seen others defended this way, but experiencing the fierce protection of Emmrich’s love was overwhelming.

The room hummed with quiet anticipation. The only sounds were the hushed breaths of the three living occupants. It was as if the Necropolis itself was waiting. Like it was listening to see what would happen next. The man kept his head hung low, waiting for his own execution. Emmrich broke the silence with one word.

“Apologize.” Emmrich ordered with all the grace and aplomb of an educator correcting an unruly pupil.

The man blinked up blearily at the lich before him, clearly not anticipating this outcome. Then he fumbled into a kowtow. “I have done wrong, ser. I did not realize that you-“

“Apologize to her.” Emmrich snipped, cutting the man off by pointing back at me. “It is Rook you have terrorized and harmed. Like your forebearer, who terrorized the watchers until Rook had the courage to stand against his wrath. As a young commoner she has more than twice your measure.”

The noble did not move as he uttered bitterly, “I have caused violence against you, elf. It was below my station.”

He turned to look at me with an expression of both fear and revulsion. “Regardless, I still invoke the right of blood for blood revenge against our glorious undead.”

I said nothing in reply, unsure how to respond. I looked to Emmrich beseechingly. In response Emmrich drew a paper from his pocket and unfolded it with a practiced flourish. He held it before the man so that he could read it.

“That’s impossible! How could she receive a pardon from the king?” The man cried in outrage, his fear forgotten in his outburst. When he tried to grab the missive Emmrich moved it out of his reach.

“Indeed, the king Markus Pentaghast is quite sharp and spry for his age.” Emmrich’s tone turned menacing and offered no rebuttal.

Emmrich moved from where the man still sat prostrate, and returned to my side. It was only when he wrapped his arms around me that I realized I was shaking. He shielded me from prying eyes both with his tall frame and his dark robes.

Emmrich looked into my eyes but continued to address the man. “In her service to the crown by defeating the elven gods and sealing the veil, the king saw fit to pardon her from all prior misdeeds. Rook cannot be held to blame for the destruction of your ancestor’s demise any longer.”

The man got up as his temper rose within him. “This is a trick. I refuse to accept-”

“You will learn to accept it!” Emmrich thundered, his full, intimidating gaze back on the man.“If you dare to approach Rook again, if I hear of you conspiring against her you will live to regret it. Because I have a very long time to enact my displeasure and prejudice. There will be no second chances for forgiveness. I will make it my mission to wage a never ceasing crusade against your house for acting against mine.”

[mouchiiarts]

Y'know what I need to bring this back because this mini series, as fun as it can be sometimes, kind irks me in a specific way.

Because it's really really obvious Jess didn't do any amount of research into the game (which honestly this is a major issue in her writing in general. She writes like she already knows what she's talking about even when she's wrong and it definitely shows).

I'm unfamiliar with Final Fantasy, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the very strong impression that Jess just took the Final Fantasy lore/world building and slapped the D&D name onto it. You have the basic character sheets and dice rolling which is accurate, but the world building feels so off?? Honestly if this had been explained to be a homebrew campaign, I could accept the slightly skewed world building. Except it's not.

Mages, at least not how they're presented in the D&D miniseries, don't exist in D&D. At least not your basic 5e, which is the most well known version of D&D. Also, elves aren't really prejudiced against in D&D? Actually elves, at least high elves, tend to be the racist/discriminatory ones. Tieflings receive the most flack of the D&D races save for Drows. So that one town hating Aphmau for being an elf feels kind of like an odd choice. So it makes no sense for Aphmau to be an elf mage! Like I said above, a dwarf cleric would make way more sense for her.

I think Aaron is meant to be a barbarian? So ok points there that's accurate to the game. I don't think he should be wearing armor though if he's a barbarian but, eh, it's a minor thing. He would have a great axe tho that's so real. I would've made him a half orc ranger. Aaron's actually pretty smart and, at least in MCD, is good with tracking and has a "man who lives off the wilderness" vibe to him. He would be a werewolf too just for fun.

ZANE BEING A KNIGHT THOUGH- Yes, knights exist in D&D, they're a subclass of the Fighter class. My main issue is that Zane wouldn't be a Fighter, he's more likely to be a rogue if anything else. I could maybe see him being a wizard since he's kinda studious in MCD, but that's honestly as far as I think he'd go in terms of a magic based class. Plus, a crafty sneaky character who lurks in the shadows feels more on brand for Zane. Also, Zane is specified to be a "dark knight." Yeah that doesn't exist in D&D. The closest you'd get to that is an aligned evil paladin or fighter? Or just an oath of revenge paladin who serves an evil god. And again, Zane as a high elf rogue who's extremely emo and edgy. It's right there.

Nana being a regular cat girl and not a tabaxi or leonin, or a different kind of cat-person is evidence towards the "Jess slapped Final Fantasy lore onto D&D and called it a day" theory. Why is she a mostly human cat girl? Again, those don't exist in D&D unless it's explicitly a homebrew campaign, which this isn't. And her class is never mentioned, so I'm going to assume she's another fighter? Maybe she was mentioned to be another knight? Which would make for an extremely unbalanced party imo. So Tabaxi wild magic sorcerer makes the most sense for her imo.

This series was also a MAJORLY missed opportunity to include Travis as a tiefling warlock. His dad is his patron? Hello? Plus we could've had another magic user in the group. Travis using Eldritch blast would've been hilarious.

I also think Garroth should've had a character too. I think it would make sense for him to be a human paladin of Tyr. Make him like MCD Garroth! He could've brought some nice grounded-ness to the group.

And just for a fun idea: Laurance (as recommended by the wonderful @heishikeki) would be a dragonborn bard.

The Aphmau D&D side stories don't get D&D right at all. Mainly in regards to the characters.

Because.

If Jess had even an inkling of an understanding of the different races/classes/basic world building in D&D, she would've known which races/classes the mys cast would've been.

Why is Aphmau the elf??? She should've been a halfling or gnome cleric?? Maybe a dwarf if she wanted to be generous with the height.

You can pry "edgy first D&D high elf rogue oc" Zane from my cold dead hands. That man would've heard "you can make your character be anyone" and he would've made the edgiest, most traumatized little elf rogue you can think of.

Nana is obviously a Tabaxi and I'm thinking she should've been a sorcerer? It makes the most sense for her I feel.

Garroth is the only human there and he gets to be the paladin. Because MCD. Also DM gets a character be Garroth is such a nerd for D&D.

Aaron is a half elf werewolf ranger send tweet.

Travis as a tiefling warlock. TRAVIS AS A TIEFLING WARLOCK. JESSICA. IT'S RIGHT THERE. IT'S RIGHT THER-

[deepinifhell]

A Du Mortain simply does not care enough about humans to keep up with all the moral and scientific advancements in a timely manner. One day they're going to say something insane like "if you hold a baby too much you will spoil it" which, in their defense, is a much more modern idea than the 1100's it's just...from the 1920s.

[okurrroye]

See what we not going to do is dangle Darilyn again instead give me Benius you idiotic cowards.

[nejackdaw]

Okay I haven't talked about Judas OR the Judas album in a while so I'm going to share this analysis I finally placed and I'm losing my mind about

In the song Field of Blood (song 5,) the chorus ends with a line I've never quite been able to find a suitable conclusion about. Right. (Putting my rambling under a read more, the screenshots make this long)

Oh, okay, "what is my god," he's having a crisis of faith. Why is God so cruel as to order Jesus be killed (reminder that the album is a mix of biblical and Gnostic canon, where Jesus asked Judas to be the one to betray him.)

WRONG

If we move two tracks ahead in the album to Death is Just a Kiss Away, right before the last chorus we have these lines:

Which is insane! Because this part is actually saying "you have two gods, God and Jesus" (sun and moon, as I'll get to) "and no matter which you choose" (obeying the kill command or refusing to kill Jesus) "you're going to piss everyone off"! Okay now I know, "but where did you get sun and moon/God and Jesus" and HERE I TELL YOU:

Jesus is CONSTANTLY referred to with constellation imagery! (There's a whole song about it!) The Gospel of Judas includes the quotes (from Jesus) "Judas, your star has led you astray" and "the star that leads the way is your star." The album takes this and RUNS with it. Makes Jesus Judas's guiding star. There is SO MUCH night/star symbolism going on here, mostly in Constellation, but also from A World Where we Belong:

SO BASICALLY: considering that Jesus is heavily referred to with night sky imagery and they're literally both referred to as "two moons aligned," it isn't unreasonable to conclude that the line from Just a Kiss Away is in fact talking about God/Jesus. WHICH MEANS

When Judas is about to hang himself and he pleadingly asks "what is my god?"

HE DOESN'T KNOW IF IT'S GOD OR JESUS BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING IN LOVE WITH HIM APNDOANSOANS HE OBEYED GOD BECAUSE HE'S GOD BUT HE'S KILLING HIMSELF OVER JESUS. I HAVE MANY OTHER LINES ABOUT THIS (DEVOTION TO JESUS, NOT GOD) BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT TOPIC

[omegaqueencas]

10. There's only one bed - FiKi, explicit, (not) born in sin verse

Fíli slowly woke up, his mind still sluggish. He wondered what woke him up, seeing as it was dark still. But then, the noise caught up to him - a familiar sound, and his mind reeled. His hands were still near his face, so it wasn't him doing it.

As his eyes adjusted, he could see Kíli, lying on his back beside him, so close that they were almost touching. And still, Fíli could see Kíli moving his hand on a very intimate part of him.

Instead of letting his eyes trail down Kíli's body, Fíli brought a hand to his eyes and groaned.

"What are you doing?" He exclaimed, and he noticed the noise stopping.

"Oh my god. Fíli. Did I wake you up?"

"Of course!" Fíli turned to lie on his back as well, so he could stare at the ceiling. "This room has a bathroom, couldn't you have done this there?"

"B-but...!" Kíli at least sounded embarrassed, and Fíli listened to rustling and he hoped it meant Kíli was properly dressing himself. "You were in such a deep sleep, I didn't think you'd wake up!" He protested, as if that was an excuse.

"It's still weird! I, I don't need to know, much less see or hear, you masturbating! You're still sixteen!"

"As if you didn't get horny out of nowhere when you were sixteen!" Kíli countered with a pout. "Besides, it's not my fault you're so gorgeous. I imagined myself doing all sorts of things--"

"Okay, either you shut up, or I'm moving far away again, but this time you won't even know where I'm going!" That seemed to work.

"Sorry, Fee! It wasn't my intention to creep you out! I promise I won't do it again!"

There was a moment of silence before Fíli sighed and nodded.

"Okay. But tomorrow we'll request two rooms, and if mom and dad ask, it's because you have gas." Kíli whined again, but didn't disagree.

Not for the first time, Fíli wondered if he did the correct thing by coming back to live with his parents and Kíli, because Kíli surely was making it hard.

1. Luprecalia

2. "Oh, good, you're here! Hold this."

3. "But daddy, I love him!"

4. Handcuffs

5. Omegaverse

6. "They'll have to go through me."

7. Field of flowers

8. Renting rooms from the locals

9. "Exactly how many languages do you speak?!"

10. Now or never

11. Echo

12. A day on the beach

Drabble Challenge 9 is now officially open!

We are only playing Sat - Sun, so please come back on Tumblr to check it often. (From now on until Sun/Mon midnight whatever time you’re on)

RULES ARE THE SAME AS LAST TIME - PLEASE READ UNDER THE CUT:

STEP 1: Pick one of the following prompts:

Luprecalia

It's 3 a.m. but fuck it, we're being domestic.

Never have I ever...

The Consort and his King

Nectarines

"They will have to go through me."

Assembling IKEA furniture

Renting rooms from the locals

Valentines Day

“This isn’t going the way that I thought it would.”

Step 2: Write a quick response of at least 100 words (a classic drabble is 100 words, but whatever).

We won’t be counting, but the challenge here is to be concise, while having a clear link to the prompt you’re responding to. There is no upper limit, but remember the prompts get snatched pretty quick.

Fili/Kili or any fictional Dean/Aidan pairings, clearly mark your warnings etc.

Existing verses or brand new work are both fine.

Step 3: Refresh Tumblr and use the notes to check the last person that has reblogged this post with a response (IMPORTANT!)

Just ordinary reblogs to spread the word are ok (ignore those), but you’re looking specifically for the latest reblog that had a drabble added.

Step 4: Reblog from that person, adding your response. You also need to copy-paste the prompt list and REPLACE the one prompt you responded to with a brand new prompt (anything you like).

I.e. you claim one and you put one back. There are still 10 prompts.

Step 5: Format your post. Response text and updated prompts list MUST be hidden under the ‘Read more’ button.

Only 2 lines should be visible on the dashboard: 1) which prompt you’re claiming, pairing, rating, verse, possible warnings and 2) ‘Read more’.

Step 6: Tag your response: #Drabble Challenge 9 so that whoever wants to, can blacklist the whole event.

Next person:

Step 1: Find the latest reblog of this post with a response.

Step 2: Pick one of the prompts from the updated list (always find the latest reblog!)

Repeat Step 3, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6 etc. The list of prompts is forever evolving.

This event is meant to be snappy and fast, creating a caterpillar of reblogs, crawling all over your dashes.

How to resolve possible problems:

Two people writing responses at the same time for 2 different prompts from the same list. This is not a problem: So long as the second person responding finds the latest reblog, their prompt should still be available on the updated list. Only 1 prompt is replaced at a time.

Two people writing responses at the same time for the same prompt (AKA my prompt disappeared by now): Find the latest reblog, add your response and add your own prompt as number 11. From now on there are 11 prompts. However, this is meant to be snappy, so please don’t spend half a day writing 100 words…

Meanwhile, @linane-art will kick-start this, and provide the first example.

Have fun! Any questions - give us a shout. If it starts going wrong, there may be a mod reblog, setting it straight again.

~gatheringfiki

[vampmilf]

i know its (thankfully) talked about a lot now but fatphobia in medical fields is so fucked up for real. i tore my ankle to shreds almost three years ago like the ligament or whatever its called was almost completely torn through, my entire foot was deep purple bruised, my ankle was swolled up so bad i couldnt get half my shoes on and i was walking at like 30% speed bc thats the best i could manage. and when i went to the doctor with it he just went "yeah that shits fucked but its only this bad bc youre heavy so it hurts more bc theres more weight on it. keep it elevated and wait. consider a diet so next time it wont be this bad." like i didnt even get a brace. or a sick note. i literally just had to keep going to work and walk it off and it took very long to heal and it did not heal well 🙃 im still in constant discomfort that often shifts to pain bc now i work two jobs where i walk for 8+ hours which puts a lot of strain on my ankle which makes the pain worse and my ankle starts locking up and stinging with every step. ive got chronic pain now bc a doctor refused to take my injury seriously and told me to go on a diet to heal a torn ligament. the fuck.

[ourceliumnetwork]

huh... the way my parents showed me the world worked was really kind of fucked up, it's no fucking wonder i have an anxiety disorder frankly.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

caitlyn ross from deepwoods is what the fandom thinks ford is

[dreamieparadise]

Gonna sleep some more. Got class and also maintenance ppl are coming at 8am!! Hopefully they aren't too loud!

Also, complaining about how tumblr keeps putting "ad free is tumblr premium" on the bottom of my dash! Gtfo. I already wasn't gonna buy it, but now I REALLY don't want to!

[odietamox]

I'm a puzzle of all the people I ever loved blah blah blah

[classyrbf]

thinking about movie night with nanami. You’re sitting in his lap comfortably, head resting on his shoulder while you giggle at the movie. But nanami doesn’t care for the movie when two of his thick fingers are plunged deep inside of your pussy. He’s moving them so slowly, teasing you as he pumps them in and out. Every now and then you’ll grip onto his arm that’s holding you in place, getting too distracted before he corrects you. “Focus on the movie, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear all while massaging your g-spot. He’s so cruel to you but he’s enjoying playing with you. Your eyes will slip down to where his fingers are, can’t help but stare at the way his fingers disappear into your sopping hole. You see them glisten with the glow of the tv light and bite down on your bottom lip as grow needier for more. “Eyes up.” He guides your chin up, holding your jaw in place. With every passing minute you feel yourself growing wetter and wetter, and your heart beat faster and faster sneaking glances and letting out stifled whimpers every now and again.

The pads of his fingers run up your slit, rubbing your swollen clit in small circles making you tense up. A shaky breath escapes your throat, and you’re trying your best to focus on the movie but it’s so hard to when he’s whispering such filthy things in your ear. “You want my fingers back inside that pretty pussy? I bet it feels so good to be stuffed full, huh?” He smirks against your skin. All you do is nod, gently grinding your hips against his hand because you’re done playing by the rules. You reach for his wrist, moving his hand downward back to your fluttering hole. “Is that where you want me?” He breathes against your skin. Just before you could answer he plunges his fingers back inside, your pussy making the most lewd squelch ever. “Just lean back and feel good, darling.” He held you against him tightly while he worked you open with his fingers, pressing and dragging his fingers against your g-spot with more pressure.

“Hear that?” He dragged his fingers in out of your soaked cunt, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at how wet you were. “Is this all for me? If so, it’d be a shame if I didn’t get a taste.” His fingers reached up to his mouth, sucking your juices off like you were the best thing he’s ever tasted. Your body shuddered in anticipation, as he brought his fingers back down to your pussy, gathering more of your slick. “Have a taste, baby.” Without hesitation you opened your mouth, feeling his fingers lay flat on your tongue where you tasted yourself on him. “Tastes good, doesn’t it? Such a good girl for me.” He grabs your chin, planting his lips on yours, his tongue sliding past your lips and into your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as he began fingering you again, going faster than he was before.

You pull away, breathing heavily as you feel yourself growing closer to cumming. “Ken,” you whimper, your nails digging into his forearm while your legs begin to shake. “Oh fuck,” you squeak, your jaw slack as you become mesmerized by the view in front of you. Nanami kisses your neck gently, watching as well, feeling the way your walls tighten around him.

“I can feel it, sweetheart. Tell me how badly you wanna cum,” he huskily says, moving his fingers faster on purpose.

“Please, let me cum! I need it so bad, Ken! You always make me feel so good, baby,” you cry out, your chest moving up and down rapidly.

“Good girl. Let it out for me.” As if on command, clear liquid gushes from your cunt, soaking his hand and couch in the process but he doesn’t dare stop. “There you go, sweetheart. There you fucking go.” He kisses you tenderly as he drags every last bit of your orgasm out of you until your entire body is shaking. He removes his fingers, gently slapping your messy pussy, chuckling when you whine at the sensation. His thumb toys with your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. “What a mess you’ve made.” He clicks his tongue at you.

“You’re no fair!” You pant, gasping when applies pressure to your clit.

“I think a thank you would be better. What do you think?” He looks at you with fox like eyes, and you can’t help but stare back with such desperation.

“Thank you,” you mutter under your breath.

“Atta girl.” He slaps your pussy a few more times causing you to buck your hips. “Now, keep watching the movie. I’m not finished playing with you.”

[zvdvdlvr]

4 times you sit on silco’s lap & the 1 time he pulled you onto his lap

Warnings. Sexual positions. No specific reader gender/genitalia. Impregnation kink (sorry yall its bad again). Not toxic girl dad!Silco. Pet name

1

You and Silco danced around the empty bar, twirling and singing and chasing and slipping out of each other’s fingers. For the past hour the pair of you had been letting the loud music from the jukebox reverberate through your bones as you moved fluidly around the room.

Silco’s silky black hair was pulled back into a tiny bun at the back of his head. Sweat beaded at his hairline. The little droplets grew fat and ran down his cheek bones and disappeared down the sharp edge of his jaw as he chased your laughing body. 

“Crazy,” he mused to himself as the song ended and you finally let him twirl you in by the hand. Silco dipped you, watching your smile widen. He held you there as you examined him through your striking eyelashes. He leaned down slowly, sensually and let his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips. You were caught in his trap, lips parted as your eyes locked on his lips.

Further, slower, he leaned down until you could feel his gasps of air on your lips. He parted his lips and tilted his head closing the gap between you-

Silco stood up and twirled you again. The sexy smirk on his lips made you forgive him just a little for being the incredible tease he is. “Bastard,” you cursed him with a wicked smile.

“A thirsty bastard,” he corrected smartly. Taking you by the hand, Silco led you to the bar and gestured dramatically to an empty bar stool.

He poured your favorite and slid it to you before making his own drink. Silco rounded the corner and brought the stool next to you closer to yours. He had just put his glass bck on the counter before you slid into to lap, facing him.

“Sly thing,” Silco chided, hands settling on your ass.

“You love it,” you replied. You pulled the hair tie out of Silco’s hair and watched it settle around his features perfectly. “Pretty boy.”

Silco practically purred at your words. He brought a hand up to cup your cheek and placed the other at the back of your neck. “I do love it- love you.”

“I love you too,” Silco repeated, sealing his words with a kiss.

2

“Don’t look at me like that,” Silco muttered, voice raspy with- was it. . . lust? “You know I can’t work with you watching me like that.”

You tilted your head. “Like what?”

“Don’t be coy.”

Silco didn’t look up as you rose from your spot from the couch. You heard his breathing turn shakier as you approached. Chuckling, you pulled the back of his chair until you could grasp Silco by the collar.

He spluttered- an endearingly pathetic noise you’d like to earn from him again- as you tore him from the endless plans, letters, and work sitting on his desk as he prepared for the future of Zaun. Silco didn’t actuallytry to stop you, though, despite his unintelligible grumbling.

You pushed him onto the newly acquired couch. His back hit the cushions and his raven-black hair spread around his head like a halo. Smiled as you committed the imagine of him so off-guard to memory. “You’ve been working so diligently,” you purr, raising on knee to rest between Silco’s hip and the sofa back. “And so hard. . .” You placed your other knee on the sofa and so lightly started grinding on Silco’s boner. “I think you deserve a break.”

Silco was the one watching you through his lashes now. “Is that right?” His heaving chest showed his anticipation despite his usual calm voice.

“Oh yeah,” you reply with a dangerous smile.

3

It was a late night- the crowd at the bar had been rowdy and took a while to herd all the drunkards out, leaving you an exasperated mess. Not to mention the fact that you were dealing with an astounding amount of Enforcers after Jinx had gone and stolen a couple expensive looking watches and necklaces for some reason unknown to you. All in all, you were beat.

After tossing a wad of cash to the other bartender, you bid him goodnight and headed up the stairs.

“I was wondering when you’d be up to see me,” Silco greeted you from his desk. “Come here, my dear.” 

He watches your movements with those sharp eyes of his. You perched yourself on the edge of his desk and let Silco rest his head against your chest. You ran your nails through his hair the way you knew he liked. “We should go get ready for bed,” you murmured, feeling his arms wrap lightly around your waist.

Silco heaved a sigh. “I have work to do.”

It was your turn to sigh as you pushed off the desk. Silco looked up, brow arching, at you. His confusion waned as you straddled him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You felt the man under you shudder as he exhaled, stress slowly easing out of his body as you pressed soft kisses to the oh so fragile skin behind his ear. “You can do your work tomorrow after you get some sleep.”

Clearly your tender embrace had weakened Silco’s resolve because all he did in response to your statment was pull you impossibly closer to him. “I suppose you’re right,” Silco finally muttered into your shoulder.

4

Jinx and Silco were currently in disagreement over who would do Jinx’s hair, when they would be doing it, and the hairstyle Jinx wanted. For an eight year old, the little blue haired girl knew what she wanted. And it was that Sevika stayed as far as humanly possible away from the eight year old.

So that was why Silco had convinced you to go to barber near Benzo’s old shop. Something about ‘not being anle to contain such rage and emotion in such tiny body’ alone.

Truth be told, you weren’t well educated in children handling. Working with Silco and the traitor for most of your life gave you practically no time to interact with people under sixteen. Jinx had taken a liking to you- probably because you were one of the people she saw the most because of your relationship to her adoptive father. (On the certificate, you were also listed as a guardian.) So being able to style the girl’s hair as she liked would be a good skill to add to your already wide-ranging knowledge.

The two of you paid as much attention to the barber as possible. Jinx had selected a simple three strand braid that you got the hang of off the bat. Silco? Not so much, but the effort was there!

When you paid and left, Jinx was so happy with her hair and so convincing that she was given permission to play with the barber’s twin son and daughter. Silco had pressed a handful of coin into Jinx’s hand and told her to be home in two hours.

“You’re going soft,” you mused, jutting your hip into Silco as the two of you left. “It’s endearing.”

Silco recoiled. “I am not. Inconceivable.”

When you scoffed, Silco turned to you with his eyes narrowed. “Something to say, trouble?”

“Nah,” you drawled. “It’s… It’s nice to see this side of you again.”

Your lover wrapped an arm around your waist and led the two of you back home. “I haven’t felt more content in a long time,” he finally admits. Emotion made his voice gravely.

“Yeah.” You continued to walk, falling into silence. 

“I like watching you with her.”

Silco’s glinting eyes are already locked on your gaze when you look up. “Yeah?” You ask, suggesting smile beginning to pull up at the corner of your lips.

“Yeah. It makes me wish I could. . . fuck one into you,” he mutters.

Your eyebrows are higher than your hairline when he speaks. “Sil, you- you know I can’t-“

The dark lust in Silco’s eyes lighten. “That doesn’t mean I can’t fuck you like you could carry my children,” he tells you, an edge of an emotion you can’t quite put a finger on.

Silco pushes open the door to The Last Drop and flicks on one of the light switches. He turns to see you sitting on the table of a booth, watching him with an expression so vacant Silco wonders if this conversation is what finally sends you running. “Talk to me.”

Continuing to say nothing, you pat the table next to you. Silco pulls himself up beside you and examines your face carefully. He is apprehensive as you slide into his lap wordlessly and wrap your legs around his waist. You trace the calloused pad of your thumb from the very bottom of Silco’s scar surrounding his eyes. It’s when you near the tip-top of the marred flesh does Silco grasp your wrist.

“Speak to me, my dear,” Silco repeats. “What are you thinking? What do you want me to do?”

Silco lets your wrist go without much resistance. You tangle your fingers through his short hair. “I want,” you begin slowly, hearing his breathing cease entirely. “You to fuck me like you could knock me up.”

It takes Silco several seconds to compute your statement before leaning in to fucking devour your lips.

5

The bar was booming tonight.

Round after round, table after table, drink after drink. In informal terms: you were fucking slammed and the crowd wasn’t thinning out.

It’d been this busy for at least the past three hours and the pain in your feet and legs had been so God awful that you couldn’t wven feel them anymore. And the poor bartenders could barely open their mouths without someone spitting out orders or tossing coins or just pestering them.

You sighed. Nights like these made you really question your love of the damn building. 

An hour later, you could see a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. With an end to the night in your near future, you found yourself walking a little faster: a little more eager to get the people more drunk and gone.

It was another whole hour before you were almost finished with the cleaning. All you had left to do was wipe down the counter and tables, put the chairs up on the table, and mop.

Silco finally slunk down the stairs to see you and the last, most desperate bartender mopping up. He slid into a booth and rested his head on his palm as he watched you.

When the two of you were officially done cleaning, Silco fished out a bag of coins from one of his pockets. “Here, kid,” he said before tossing the pouch at the awed bartender.

“I- Thank you sir,” the girl said gratefully, eyes flickering between you and Silco. You smiled at her tiredly.

“Good night, Mimi,” you told her.

Silco watched Mimi smile brightly at you- the significantly kinder of the couple- and nod excitedly. “Good night, y/n! Thank you again sir, and good night!”

You came to a stop in front of Silco and tugged your apron off. “How are you?”

Silco heaved a sigh. He reached out to you and turned you away from him. Then Silco pulled you down onto his lap. He comically scooched back until his back was against the wall and his and your legs tangled on the rest of the booth. “Better.”

As Silco wrapped his hands around your waist, you felt your back decompress as you leaned against the love of your life. Your eyes fluttered shut, heavy with sleep. “I love sitting on your lap,” you confess.

Silco hums, amused.

“Best seat in the whole damn house,” you say, yawning.

Before Silco realizes it, you’re asleep. He doesn’t want to get up because theres a chance you’ll wake up, but Silco also wants to get his love to bed.

He just rests his head on your shoulder and lets himself have this moment.