#and then at the end we find out that the breakup affects her so much she can't express how shes feeling

[vogelmeister]

me: i figured out how to open my play!

also me: researching brussels zuid/midi station intensively

[alsofoundinpeas]

Rewind the Goodbye

Summary: One night is all it takes to unravel everything Y/N and Spencer had carefully built over the years of their relationship. But sometimes, the things we break can be mended once more.

(Basically an AU for the events of season 15 episode 6 Date Night)

Requested fic!! 🥳: Can we get a smutty Spencer Reid x reader reunion? It's them passionately coming back together after a messy breakup (JJ's confession or Cat's date night). Basically Spencer grovelling and worshipping reader. Happy/hopeful ending!

CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Cat Adams (she's a warning all on her own). Really intense argument (both Spencer and Reader say some pretty mean things). Oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), unprotected PinV sex (do not actually do this k thanks!!), creampie (can we pls find another word for this pls), crying during sex (both Spencer and reader oops), groveling/begging man (Spence, I'm looking at you babe), heavy praise, multiple orgasms (f!receiving) and slight overstimulation (both parties). Angst turned happy ending!! Ex's to lovers!!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader/afab!reader

A/N: My very first request!! :') Thank you so very much to the anon who requested this <3 I hope you like it! :) I chose to go with the Cat storyline because I had to prove I am NOT a JJ hater LMAO plus I felt like it was a really interesting dynamic to play off of because I always felt it was odd how chill Max was about her family getting kidnapped and him making out with an actual psychopath in front of her (I get that Max is simply a chill girl and beyond super understanding, which we love!! I’m just saying I personally would’ve tweaked a smidge (not on him, just overall LMAO). This was as fun as it was heart-wrenching to write and I truly hope you guys enjoy it. As always, please like, reblog, and share with your friends if you enjoy it. I love you all! K <3

Y/N remembered the night everything fell apart as if it had happened only yesterday.

She'd been on edge all evening, knowing Spencer was only on the date with Cat for the sake of his job and for the sake of rescuing her father and sister. It didn't make the plan any easier to swallow. Her mind raced with worry as she paced the apartment, waiting for him to come home. All she wanted was for her family to be safe. For Spencer to be safe.

Things had been strained between them ever since Spencer got out of prison. Y/N knew he couldn't be the same person he was before. She understood that. But she hadn't expected this—his detachment, the walls he'd built between them.

He stopped talking to her, stopped sharing his thoughts, retreating inward until the pressure became too much. Then, he'd snap—lashing out in bursts of anger, throwing things, slamming doors, yanking at his hair. He never turned that anger on her directly, but it didn't matter. Seeing the man she'd once known as calm and steady unravel before her was jarring and heartbreaking, especially after years of him being the embodiment of composure.

Y/N remained patient through it all. Spencer had endured more in his short life than most could fathom. The least she could do was offer her empathy and support, no matter how much he pushed her away, reacting like a wounded animal desperate to protect itself. She was determined to do whatever it took to help mend the beautiful, fractured man she loved, even if it meant enduring a few emotional scars along the way.

Y/N never expected those emotional scars to include all of this.

She could feel her heart shattering as the door to their apartment creaked open, revealing her fiancé passionately making out with the most vile woman to walk the Earth. His hands were cradling her face, pulling her into him as Cat stared straight at her.

It was more affection than Spencer had shown her since his release, and quite frankly it didn't seem like he was putting on much of an act.

The only reason Y/N was at the apartment instead of searching for her sister was because the team had located her father—thankfully, he was safe and unharmed, aside from a few bruises—and had contacted her with a plan that Spencer wasn’t aware of. They had uncovered Cat’s hidden agenda: Juliette had been watching Spencer and had discovered the one secret he’d managed to keep from Cat—her. Now, Cat wanted to destroy his life one final time before she died.

The team anticipated that Cat would want to return to their apartment to flaunt the fact that Spencer was 'hers.' Once Cat's ego was satisfied, she'd be more likely to slip up and reveal information about her sister's whereabouts. Y/N agreed without hesitation. After all, she’d do anything to ensure the safety of the people she loved—even if it meant putting herself in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous position with a psychopath.

JJ had coached her on how to mask her emotions in front of Cat, preparing her for the inevitable confrontation. What JJ hadn't prepared her for was watching the love of her life shove his tongue down Cat's throat like he'd never felt the touch of a woman before.

Y/N braced herself, locking eyes with Cat as she adopted a detached, nonchalant demeanor.

Internally, she felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to curl up and sob into her knees until this nightmare was over. She had already felt powerless when Spencer was wrongfully imprisoned, and now the guilt of her father and sister being taken by Cat’s former cellmate was gnawing at her from the inside out.

All of that pain and heartache for a man who clearly no longer loved her.

Y/N remained composed for the rest of the evening, leaving with Emily as soon as possible to be with her dad and sister now that it was all over. She didn’t spare Spencer a single glance on her way out, choosing to fight that battle later.

And a battle it was.

When Y/N saw her sister's tear-streaked face and her father's defeated posture despite trying to put on a brave front, she knew she needed to stay with them for a few days. She ignored all of Spencer's calls and texts, replying only with a terse I'll be home by Friday. Though she tried to rationalize it as something Spencer had done out of necessity to save her family, the image of him kissing Cat haunted her, and she couldn’t bring herself to face him right now.

As Y/N stepped into their eerily silent apartment Friday night, she immediately realized how much of a mistake ignoring Spencer had been. She quietly closed the door behind her, slipped off her shoes, and placed them on the rack. But as she turned to head toward their room, she was met with the sight of Spencer right behind her, so unexpectedly close that she yelped, her heart racing as she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus fucking Christ—"

"Why have you been ignoring me?"

Spencer’s voice was cold, his eyes filled with pain as he looked down at her. Y/N felt a rush of guilt at the expression on his face, her resolve faltering for a moment before she reminded herself why she had been avoiding him in the first place. That guilt hardened into anger, her eyes narrowing as she glared up at him.

"Why did you make out with a deranged criminal?"

Spencer stood frozen, his mouth slightly agape as confusion flickered across his face. Y/N brushed past him, heading into the kitchen. Her purse hit the counter with a loud clatter. She knew she wasn’t being fair, but the hurt and exhaustion weighed too heavily on her to care.

"Y/N, I didn’t have a choice—" Spencer protested, trailing after her with his hands raised in frustration. "I didn't know you'd be here! That was the last thing I wanted to happen, but I did it for the sake of the case."

She rolled her eyes, a bitter laugh escaping as she leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "So you can tongue-fuck her for the sake of the case... yet you won’t lift a finger to keep your fiancée?"

The words had left her mouth before she could stop them, but she meant them.

Spencer stood across the kitchen, a look of disbelief on his face. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why would I be losing you?"

Y/N chewed on her lower lip, casting her gaze to the floor. If there was ever a time to finally let it all out, now would be it. So, with a deep exhale, she began.

"Spencer… I’ve tried to be patient, and I’ve tried to understand, knowing what you went through was unimaginable. I'm not at all saying I expect you to be who you once were, because I know that's impossible. But most days, I feel more like your doormat than your fiancée. You only talk to me in short, half-hearted conversations, and I’m the one who usually has to start them. I feel like I have to beg for your time when you're home. We haven’t been on a date in months. You won’t even talk to me about the wedding anymore…" Y/N’s voice cracked as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I’ve tolerated all of that, and yet I’m supposed to just accept that you kissed the woman who not only destroyed your life, but mine too—taking the man I love and turning him into this… hollow version of who he used to be?"

All she wanted was for him to truly listen, to finally acknowledge how things had been between them, and to try—just try—to make an effort to fix them.

Instead, he did the opposite.

"Are you seriously playing the victim when what I did was to save your family?" Spencer snapped, disbelief in his voice. "Did you even consider for a second how traumatizing that whole night was for me? Going on a date with a woman who tried to kill my mother, who framed me for a crime I didn’t commit that left me rotting in that hellhole for months? But I’m the villain because I’m processing my own trauma, and I’m not up your ass planning a wedding I never even wanted?!"

Y/N's heart sank as his words cut through her, tears welling up in her eyes. A wedding he never wanted? The hurt and frustration she’d been suppressing for months bubbled to the surface, and she fixed him with a steely glare, her anger flaring.

"My family never would have been in that situation if you had a normal fucking job!" she shouted, her finger jabbing at him in accusation. "And as for the wedding you never wanted, fine. We won’t have one!" With a fierce motion, she ripped the ring off her finger and slammed it onto the counter before storming down the hallway toward their bedroom, tears streaming down her face.

Spencer’s chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as he stared at the ring on the counter, his pride battling his guilt. Despite knowing he was in the wrong, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Y/N had been nothing but loving and devoted to him, yet something ugly inside him had taken over, and he couldn’t control it.

"That’s not what I meant," Spencer said, his voice tight as he went after her. "But if that’s how you want to spin it, fine—what are you doing?" He stopped dead in the doorway, his heart sinking as he watched Y/N hastily pack a duffle bag. What was he even doing?

"I can't do this anymore," Y/N sobbed, lifting the duffle bag onto her shoulder as she turned to face him. Her plan was to spend a night or two with her best friend to let everything die down between them so they could talk rationally.

She had only meant the fighting, but Spencer took it as the end of everything between them.

"Then leave! Since that's clearly what you want so badly," Spencer hissed, his voice sharp, though the tears welling in his eyes betrayed his anger. The last thing he wanted was for her to walk away. Why had he said that?

Y/N just shook her head, pushing past him and out of the room. She grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter and, with a furious shout of "Fuck you!" down the hall, slammed the front door behind her.

For the rest of the weekend, Y/N stayed with her family, retreating to her childhood bed every night where she cried herself to sleep. By Wednesday, she had found a one-bedroom apartment across town that was available to move into immediately. She checked with Emily, confirming that the team was away on a case (thankfully, Emily didn’t ask any questions). Y/N spent that week packing up her things, and moving out while Spencer was gone. On the day she left, she placed the key beside the ring on the counter, taking a final, aching glance at the symbol of everything she had once hoped for. Then, with a heavy heart, she closed the door, leaving everything she’d ever wanted behind.

Now, standing in her pajamas with her mouth slightly agape, Y/N found herself staring in disbelief at none other than Spencer Reid on her doorstep.

She blinked rapidly, ensuring she was awake and not caught in another dream. But she wasn’t dreaming. Spencer was standing before her—real, panting, and drenched. It was the first time she’d seen him since moving out three months ago, and 'exhausted' didn’t even begin to cover how he looked. Her mouth opened and closed, struggling to find the words.

“…How did you find out where I live?”

Spencer looked down, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I… I asked Penelope to find your new address."

Y/N scoffed, shaking her head as she reached for the door to slam it in his face. The nerve of him, having his coworker practically stalk her and then showing up after breaking her heart—

"Y/N, wait—please!" Spencer called out, wedging his foot in the door as she tried to shut it. "Just hear me out. Please?"

Her shoulders slumped as she paused, torn between the urge to shut him out and the pull to let him in. After a moment, she opened the door just wide enough for him to step through. As much as it pained her to face him, her love for him—and the ache of missing him—was deeper than words could ever express.

"I'll get you a towel, and then we can sit," Y/N muttered, rushing toward the bathroom as he stood by the door, slipping off his shoes.

Her heart clenched at the sight of him when she returned, their fingers lightly brushing as she passed him the plush towel.

Spencer was soaked through from the pouring rain, shivering as the damp fabric clung to his skin. She could see the discomfort in his posture as if the wet clothes were grating against him. He reminded her of those heart-wrenching shelter dogs in commercials—lost, vulnerable, and desperately needing care. He looked so pitiful… and all she wanted was to take care of him like she used to.

“Go sit on the couch. I’ll be right back,” Y/N instructed quietly, her expression softening as his weary eyes met hers.

Spencer furrowed his brows in confusion but complied, folding the towel and sitting carefully to keep the cushions dry. Y/N disappeared down the hallway, returning shortly with a pair of pajamas in her hands. As she offered them to him, a sharp pang of jealousy shot through him. He glanced down at the men’s clothes, then looked up at her, his expression filled with quiet hurt.

"Oh, come on," Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes as she sat beside him. "They’re yours. I… found them mixed in with my things and just kept them in my drawer."

That was a lie. She had carefully packed them, clinging to the smallest piece of him when she left. But what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Spencer unfolded the clothes, the knot in his chest loosening as he recognized them as his missing pajamas. The jealousy that had gripped him slowly faded, replaced by relief. "Sorry," he said softly, standing up from the couch. "Where can I… um, change into these?"

"The bathroom's down the hallway, to the left," Y/N said, gesturing vaguely toward the dark corridor.

Once Spencer was changed into the dry clothes and not trembling like a leaf, he stiffly sat beside her again. Y/N frowned, taking a moment to really look at him, and a wave of concern washed over her. His once bright, maple-syrup eyes—eyes she used to gaze into with such love—were now dull and shadowed by dark circles. His stubble had grown out, and he sat hunched, as though the weight of the world was bearing down on him.

"Spencer… what are you doing here?" Y/N asked, her words cutting through the thick silence that had settled between them.

His gaze shifted from his hands, nervously twisting in his lap, to meet her eyes. There was a quiet, desperate longing in his gaze as he studied her, almost as if he were reacquainting himself with the woman in front of him. It had only been three months since they'd separated, but even a single day apart from her felt like an eternity.

“Y/N…” Spencer’s voice faltered, his lower lip trembling as he drew in a shaky breath. “Three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. You tried to tell me how you were feeling, but I—” His words broke off, and he swallowed hard, eyes lowering as a single tear slipped down his cheek.

Y/N instinctively reached for his hands, unable to stop herself, her heart aching at the sight of his pain.

“I never meant a word of what I said that night. I swear I didn’t. I just— I lashed out, Y/N,” Spencer confessed, his voice breaking under the weight of his words. “I was scared. I sabotaged myself. I let the anger take over, convinced that Cat had finally won—that she’d ruined everything by taking away the one thing I couldn’t live without… you.”

Spencer’s tears flowed freely now, his face streaked with grief. He gripped her hands as though they were his last lifeline, afraid that if he loosened his hold, he'd flatline right there on her couch.

"But this is the one thing I can't blame on her… Despite everything she’s done, I was the one that pushed you away. I had convinced myself that once I came home and you learned what I had to do to survive, you’d be disgusted by me… that you’d hate who I’d become. So I shut you out, thinking it would spare me from that. But regardless of everything, you were still there—supportive, patient, loving... And I just... I was such an asshole."

Spencer clenched his eyes shut, his throat tightening as he struggled to pull himself together.

"I was so wrapped up in my own fears, convinced of something that wasn’t even real, that I ended up making it happen. When you tried to talk to me that night, I was sure you were trying to end things, so I panicked and ended everything like an absolute idiot. I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I should’ve just listened."

Y/N’s eyes widened, a small gasp slipping from her lips as he moved from his spot beside her on the couch to sink to the ground in front of her. He let go of her hands, gripping her hips and digging his head into her lap as sobs wracked his body.

"Y/N, please," Spencer's voice cracked, his eyes searching hers with desperation when he looked up. "I know I hurt you, and I can’t undo that. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it… and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it, but I can’t live without you. Please... take me back. I'll do whatever it takes. I need you more than anything. You’re my everything." His words were a soft, broken whisper, and his eyes filled with tears as he looked up at her, hoping for a chance to make things right.

Y/N felt her heart break all over again as she looked down at Spencer, her trembling hands coming up to cradle his face as she exhaled deeply.

Even though the pain from everything that had happened still gnawed at her, his explanation dulled some of the grief and filled in the gaps of her confusion. Over the three months apart, she hadn’t come to hate him as she’d feared. In fact, it was the opposite—being without him had only made her love him more. Now that she knew the emptiness of life without him, she couldn’t imagine a future for herself that he wasn’t a part of.

"Spencer… I never stopped being yours," Y/N whispered, her thumb brushing away his tears. "I’m still hurt, but I can’t picture my life without you. You’re my heart, my forever... Nothing will change that. So, if you're willing to put in the work to fix your mistake, then I'm willing to give us another chance."

Spencer looked up at her, his heart racing with a mixture of relief and disbelief that she wasn't turning him away, but giving him the chance to return. "I don't deserve you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "But I’m so, so thankful for you, Y/N. I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know." He sniffled, his breath shaky as he gently pressed a kiss to her wrist.

Y/N smiled wistfully, letting out a soft, watery laugh as she felt his lips on her skin. "Come here, Spence," she whispered, gently pulling him up to meet her before pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

The moment their lips met again, after months of separation, a spark ignited between them, breathing life back into their souls as they lost themselves in each other. Within seconds, their kiss shifted from gentle and heartfelt to intense and all-consuming. Every emotion they'd felt while apart transferred between them through the brushing of their tongues, translating into action as their hands began to roam.

A simultaneous moan filled the air between them, fueling Spencer as he broke the kiss to stand from his awkward positioning on the floor to lift Y/N into his arms in a surprising show of strength. She squealed, wrapping her legs around his waist as he began to carry her down the hall toward her bedroom. With an impatient shove of his foot, the door opened, allowing them to stumble into her dimly lit room in a fit of breathless giggles.

The storm howled outside, lightning slashing through the darkness, briefly lighting the room with each strike as Spencer laid her across the middle of her bed, pressing a passionate kiss to her lips once more.

“How did—“ Spencer’s lips left hers to trail down her jaw. “I ever—“ A soft moan fell from her as his lips made their way to the crook of her neck. “Think I could live without this?” A sharp gasp escaped into the night air as he sucked a possessive mark into her skin.

Satisfied with the bruise blossoming across her skin, his mouth dragged upwards back to hers. “There isn’t… a single lifetime… or universe… where every atom in my body…. wouldn’t be irresistibly drawn to you,” He murmured reverently between kisses, pressing her further into the bed as he hovered above her. A moan rumbled in his chest as her fingers tangled into his damp hair, her mouth moving frantically against his.

“Spencer—“ Y/N whimpered, breaking the kiss and arching into his touch as his hips rolled against hers. “I need you—“

"I know, sweetheart. I know," he whispered softly. "But I've got so much time to make up for. I'm going to take it slow, and I'm going to show you how much you truly mean to me."

Spencer slithered down her body, kneeling on the ground and pulling her toward the edge of the bed until her legs dangled over the side, pressing a kiss to each of her knees as he settled between them. “Going to worship you the way you deserve,” He breathed, his fingers finding the drawstring of her pajama pants and untying them slowly as he kept his eyes on hers.

Y/N sat up on her elbows, her breath hitched as he dragged the fabric off of her body. Hot, open-mouthed kisses peppered up and down the inside of her thighs as soon as the pants hit the ground, his fingers tracing up her goose-bumped skin until they found the edge of her panties. He leaned forward, unable to hold himself back any longer as he dragged them down her body with his teeth.

A shiver ran down her spine as he trailed his lips up her leg, the anticipation heightening her sensitivity. Before she could beg for him to just get on with it, his mouth latched onto her clit, lapping furiously at her arousal.

“Oh— fuck!” Y/N cried out, her hands shooting out to thread through his hair as he began to devour her.

Spencer groaned against her skin, his hands gripping her hips so tightly she was sure there would be small, fingerprint shaped bruises the next day. His eyes were squeezed shut, a look of pure ecstasy on his face while he buried his face in her folds. He lapped at her as though she herself were an aphrodisiac, dizzying and potent and all consuming in a way that left him helpless to her effect on him.

Y/N writhed underneath him as he pulled her into him, soft noises slipping unabashedly from her lips as pleasure seared through her.

He released one of her hips to bring his fingers up to her entrance. Slowly, he slipped his middle finger into her warmth, his tongue flicking against her clit in tandem as he began to thrust the digit into her. He soon followed it with his ring finger, curling them in the way he knew would have her shaking against him.

“God— I missed this. Missed you,” Spencer groaned, turning his head to nip at her thigh as he panted against her skin. His fingers thrusted harder, repeatedly brushing her G-spot as she cried out for him. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl? Hm?”

Y/N whined, nodding frantically as her grip tightened in his hair. “I’m... please, I’m so close—“ she panted, a guttural moan wrenching its way from her throat as he returned his mouth to her clit.

That’s all it took to push her over the edge. As she crumbled beneath him, a thunderclap reverberated through the walls, its timing almost poetic in its synchronization with her climax. Her thighs clamped around his head as her hips bucked into his touch, trembling as he worked her through it.

“That’s it, honey. Fuck, you’re divine—“ Spencer cooed, hovering above her again as his lips pressed to her forehead. “I need to be inside of you. Need to feel you. Please, sweetheart?”

Y/N’s chest was heaving as she panted, still reeling from the first orgasm she’d had in months. Dazedly, she nodded, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. “Please, Spence. Need you so bad, baby—“

Spencer whined, breaking away from her to hurriedly lift her shirt over her head. The sight of her, bare and flushed from her orgasm, had an almost feral wave of arousal crashing over him. Before him lied the woman he loved with every fiber of his being, trusting him with her heart again despite the pain he'd caused her before. This time, though, he was determined to protect it— to show her, day after day, just how deeply he loved her, ensuring she'd never feel forgotten or neglected again.

He stripped away his own layers, trembling with anticipation as he crawled over her. Y/N shifted, her thighs parting to make room for him between them as she laid back against her pillows. The tension in the air was palpable as he braced his arms on either side of her head, lowering himself so their chests brushed together.

"I love you, Y/N. More than words can ever say," Spencer murmured, resting his forehead against hers as he lined up his aching cock at her entrance. "You are the reason I breathe, the reason I wake up each day. You’re my saving grace, my redemption… I love you."

Y/N’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she cradled his face, their noses brushing in a soft, intimate touch. "I love you, Spencer,” she whispered, her voice thick with raw emotion. “Every version of you. Always and forever.”

Their mouths dropped open into a silent moan as he slowly began to ease into her, inch by inch as Y/N re-adjusted to the stretch of him. Spencer's eyes fluttered shut at the overwhelming sensation of finally being inside of her again after so long, inhaling sharply through his nose as he bottomed out. Her nails dug into his shoulder, the sting only heightening the intense pleasure coursing through him.

"You feel so good, sweetheart," He moaned brokenly, hissing as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "So, so perfect for me."

Y/N whimpered, wriggling her hips in a silent plea for him to start moving. Her head tipped back into the pillow at his first thrust, a soft gasp falling from her lips as he repeated the motion. Her hands left his shoulders, finding purchase in his hair as she pulled his mouth to hers once more as he found a steady rhythm.

Spencer moaned into her mouth, rocking into her with short, hard thrusts. Tears slipped down Spencer’s face, falling softly onto her cheeks as he held her close. He couldn’t contain the overwhelming rush of emotion, savoring the warmth of having the love of his life back in his arms. He never thought he'd feel this again, and he couldn’t be more grateful as he pulled back to stare at the woman beneath him.

Tears streamed down her face as she gazed up at him, her eyes full of reverence. The silent mix of their tears spoke volumes, each drop a reflection of everything they had been through and everything they were now.

Y/N's nails dragged down his back as his hips began to pound into hers, the bed creaking with each sharp thrust he delivered. Spencer was murmuring into the crook of her neck now, needy moans slipping free between the soft praise he rained down upon her as she cried out for him.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart. My sweet girl. I love you," he crooned into her skin, panting as he neared his climax. "Love how you feel for me. So fucking wet. So tight."

Their moans mingled together as he shifted above her, resting his weight on one arm as the other pressed her knee toward her chest. The change in angle drove him straight into her G-spot, causing her to cry out his name as he drilled into her.

"You're everything I could ever need. You have every part of my soul, all of it. I'm yours—completely and utterly yours."

Spencer's words triggered her second orgasm, her walls clenching around him as she sobbed her release. He groaned loudly, the feeling of her cumming around his cock sending him hurtling off the edge as he sank as deeply as he could inside of her, giving her everything he had.

His hips rolled into hers gently as they came down from their highs until they were both whimpering from the oversensitivity, finally slowing to a stop as he collapsed on top of her. His lips softly pressed against her skin, a flurry of kisses landing on her face and shoulder. She laughed, trying to wiggle away from him, pushing him gently as she playfully squirmed beneath his affection.

As they cleaned up, tender kisses and gentle words passed between them, the heavy burden of the past few months slowly lifting. In the stillness, a quiet peace settled between them, a mutual understanding that no matter what came next, everything would be okay because they had each other once more. They crawled back into her bed, cuddling together as they listened to the storm start to die down.

"So��� I can ask Emily for some time off next week, and we can get you moved back in?" Spencer suggested, his fingers lightly tracing up and down her back as they lay together.

Y/N tilted her head, a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth as she looked up at him. "You do realize I’ve still got three months left on this lease, right?"

Spencer waved his hand, a hint of urgency in his voice as he shook his head. “I’ll cover the rest of it. Then you can break the lease, Y/N. Just come home, please.”

Her heart warmed at the depth of sincerity in his voice, knowing he meant every word. Sighing softly, she gave in, nodding as she nestled closer to him, feeling the exhaustion slowly take over. They exchanged quiet, tender kisses and murmured goodnights, and soon Spencer’s breathing slowed, signaling he was asleep. Once she was sure he was resting peacefully, she carefully pulled back just enough to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, her lips lingering for a brief moment before she whispered into the stillness of the room.

“You are my home.”

Continued A/N's: I think this was quite honestly one of my favorite fics I've written so far. I love love love some angst turned happy ending and I LOVE a man begging on his knees 🙂‍↕️ Again, thank you so very much to the anon who requested this!! I have two more requests lined up after this that I can't wait to get written and posted. :) <3 K

REMINDER: I do NOT give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.

[primofate]

Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up

Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.

Disclaimer at the end of the post

Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha

Aether

Sister issues. Enough said.

He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.

Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.

Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?

"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

Consider supporting me to read some exclusive fics:

Ko-Fi

buymeacoffee

Here's the Masterlist

Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)

[goldfades]

★ AND YOU SAY I ABANDONED THE SHIP / BUT I WAS GOING DOWN WITH IT / MY WHITE KNUCKLE DYING GRIP / SO HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU THINK I HAD, DID YOU THINK I HAD IN ME? / HOW MUCH TRAGEDY? / JUST HOW LOW DID YOU THINK I'D GO? ─── PB⁵ (part 1/2)

❪ requested -> paige and ex gf!reader that plays on iowa where theres a lot of tension on the court bc they ended on rough terms but u can see that they still care abt each other yet have to prioritize the game // hii could u write for paige x ex gf iowa!reader where they play against each other in the final four and everyone can tell theres sm tension on the court between them bc they ended on rough terms ? they still care abt each other a lot but r forced to put those feelings aside for the sake of the game (but they def had a talk afterwards) - u can make it so that iowa still won or uconn won i think either one would be interesting ! tysm ❫ part two!!!!!!!!!!

─ warnings | ANGSTTTTT!!!!!! mentions of transfers, fighting, paige being a BITCHHHH LIKE so mean (but its for the plot trust), banter at the end, mention of cc and kate martin, jealous!paige

─ ev's notes | tried a new format for the third little part thingy idk if yall like it but lmk (like the iowa game part)

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

JUNE 2022

Y/N L/N ANNOUNCES ENTERS THE TRANSFER PORTAL AFTER ALLEGED DISAGREEMENT OVER PLAYING TIME. In a surprising turn of events, UConn defensive star Y/N L/N has announced her decision to enter the transfer portal.

Despite the official narrative focusing on playing time, insiders report that L/N's decision is rooted in a desire to find a new environment where she can heal and focus on her game without the added stress of her recent breakup with Paige Bueckers, another star player for the Huskies. The emotional toll of the split has reportedly affected her performance and well-being, prompting her to make a fresh start at another school.

UConn’s coaching staff and teammates have expressed their support for L/N, acknowledging the challenges she has faced. "Y/N is an incredible athlete and person," said Coach Geno Auriemma. "We respect her decision and wish her nothing but the best in her future endeavors."

As L/N navigates this difficult period, she remains committed to her basketball career and is looking forward to finding a new team where she can continue to shine both on and off the court. While the specifics of her next move remained uncertain for a short time, it has now been confirmed that she will be transferring to Iowa.

Fans and fellow players have taken to social media to show their support for L/N, emphasizing the importance of mental health and personal well-being in the demanding world of collegiate sports. Iowa's coaching staff has expressed their excitement about welcoming L/N to the team. "We are thrilled to have Y/N join us," said Coach Lisa Bluder. "She brings exceptional talent and experience to our program, and we are committed to supporting her both on and off the court."

As Y/N L/N begins her new journey with the Iowa Hawkeyes, there is no doubt that she will continue to be a formidable presence in collegiate basketball. Her resilience and determination promise to make her time at Iowa just as remarkable as her tenure at UConn.

──

"So you're really doing it?" Paige's expression was unimpressed, bordering disgusted as she pushed herself between you and the door.

You sniffled, glaring at the blonde. "Get out of my way, Paige."

She crossed her arms, standing firm. "So that's it? You're just going to run away? Because of us?"

"It's not about that," you snapped, the weight of your duffel bag making your shoulder ache. "It's about me needing to be okay. And I can't do that here."

Paige's eyes softened for a moment, but she didn't budge. "Y/N, we're a team. You can't just leave us like this. Leave me like this."

You shook your head, frustration boiling over. "This isn't about the team. This is about us, Paige. I can't be around you every day, pretending like everything's fine when it's not. I'm not okay with being on the same team as you, do you get that, Paige?"

Paige's expression flickered with a mix of anger and something else — maybe hurt. "You think Iowa is going to magically fix everything? Running away doesn't solve anything, I promise you that."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "This isn't running away. This is me choosing to put myself first for once. I have to do this."

"What happened to loyalty? As soon as things get hard, you're running away! How does that make sense?" Paige let out a bitter laugh as you bit your lip, trying your best not to blow up. "God, what is wrong with you?"

You couldn't hold it in anymore. "You shouldn't be talking about loyalty, Paige! You left me, remember? We've been through-"

"Don't you dare say it, Y/N." Paige's voice was sharp, but you pressed on, the dam of emotions breaking.

"We've been through so much together, and you just threw it all away! You can't expect me to stay here and pretend like everything's fine when it's not."

Paige's eyes blazed with anger. "Oh, don't turn this around on me! You think you're the only one who got hurt? You think it was easy for me to make that decision? You're such a selfish-"

"Selfish?" you interrupted, your voice rising, ringing throughout the locker room. "I'm selfish for wanting to protect my mental health? I'm selfish for needing to get away from the constant reminder of what we had and lost?"

"You're selfish for abandoning the team! For abandoning me!" Paige shouted, her voice cracking. "Do you have any idea what it's going to be like without you here?"

"You don't get to play the victim," you shot back, tears streaming down your face as you sniffled. "You're the one who ended things. You don't get to decide how I cope with that."

Paige took a step closer, her face contorted with rage. "Fine, go to Iowa. Run away like a little pussy. But don't you dare come back and expect everything to be okay. Don't you dare think you can just waltz back into our lives when it suits you."

"That's not what I'm doing," you retorted, your voice shaking as you averted your gaze. "I need this, Paige. I need to get away from you."

"Then go!" she yelled, her voice echoing in the empty locker room. "But don't expect me to forgive you for this. For leaving when things got tough. For being a pussy."

"Oh, really?" You laughed, anger filling your body. "Fuck you. I thought we could be mature, but apparently we can't."

Paige's eyes flashed with fury. "Mature? You're the one who's bailing when things get hard! That's not mature, that's cowardly."

You clenched your fists, trying to keep your composure. "You think this is easy for me? You think I want to leave? I'm doing this because I have to, not because I want to. I'm trying to survive, Paige!"

"Survive?" she scoffed, stepping closer. "What about me? What about the team? We need you, and you're just walking away."

"I'm not your crutch," you shot back. "You have no right to make me feel guilty for taking care of myself. This isn't just about you, Paige. This is about my sanity, my well-being."

Paige's face twisted with a mix of anger and hurt. "Fine, go ahead and leave. But don't expect me to be here waiting for you when you decide to come back."

"I don't expect anything from you anymore," you replied coldly. "I'm done expecting anything from you."

Paige's expression darkened further, and she took another step closer, her voice lowering to a venomous whisper. "You know what? Maybe it's good you're leaving. No one needs your drama and bullshit. You're not as important as you think you are."

The words stung, cutting deeper than you expected. But Paige wasn't finished. "And let's be real, Y/N, Iowa's not going to "fix" you. You're still going to be the same fucked-up person, running from your problems. Maybe if you weren't so broken, none of this would have happened."

You felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room. Her words were like a knife twisting in your gut. You blinked back tears, feeling your heart shatter into even smaller pieces. "You... you have no idea what I've been through," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "To get here, to prove myself to everyone."

"Clearly, I don't," Paige shot back, her voice full of disdain. "Because if I did, maybe I would've seen what a complete waste of time it was to care about you."

The finality of her words was like a slap in the face. You stood there, stunned, feeling the weight of her anger and your own heartbreak. Without another word, you turned and walked out of the locker room, each step feeling heavier than the last.

As you stepped outside, the cool evening air did little to soothe the burning pain in your chest. Iowa was waiting, but now it felt more like an escape from a nightmare than a fresh start. You knew you could never go back, not after what had been said. The bridge between you and Paige was not just burned — it was incinerated.

Driving away, tears blurred your vision. The future was uncertain, and the path ahead seemed daunting. But one thing was clear: you were done with Paige, done with the hold she had over you. It was time to find a place where you could heal, far away from the person who had just torn your heart apart.

──

NOVEMBER 2022

"Welcome, everyone, to what promises to be an exciting game tonight!" The commentator's voice boomed through the arena. "We have Iowa facing off against Ohio State, and all eyes are on Y/N L/N, the transfer from UConn. Let's see how she gels with her new teammates, especially standout stars Caitlin Clark and Kate Martin."

"Y/N L/N, the former UConn star who made headlines with her controversial transfer, had seamlessly integrated herself into the Iowa lineup. Her defensive prowess, combined with her sharp shooting skills, had brought a new dimension to the team's gameplay."

"And there she is, folks! Y/N L/N, number 89, making her presence felt on both ends of the court. She's been a force to be reckoned with tonight, shutting down opponents left and right while sinking those crucial shots when her team needs them most."

From the moment the game tipped off, Y/N was in her element. She moved with a grace and confidence that captivated the audience, her presence on the court undeniable. Within minutes, it was clear that she had found her rhythm with her new team.

"Clark passes the ball to L/N... she fakes, drives to the basket... and what a beautiful layup! L/N puts Iowa on the board first with an impressive move."

The crowd erupted in cheers, and Y/N's teammates swarmed her, sharing her excitement. Clark gave her an encouraging pat on the back as she jogged back on defense.

"That's the kind of play Iowa fans were hoping to see from L/N," the commentator continued. "She brings a fresh energy and versatility to this team."

As the game progressed, Y/N's synergy with her teammates became even more apparent. She seamlessly integrated into the flow of Iowa’s offense, making smart passes and setting effective screens.

"Clark with the ball now, looking for an opening... she finds L/N at the top of the key. L/N drives, kicks it out to Martin on the wing... and it's a three! Kate Martin nails the shot, and L/N gets the assist."

Kate Martin and Caitlin Clark were all smiles, high-fiving Y/N as they took a moment to savor the play. The three of them were quickly becoming a formidable trio on the court, their chemistry undeniable.

"Y/N L/N is not just playing well—she's thriving," the commentator observed. "Her ability to read the game and make those around her better is exactly what Iowa needed."

In the second half, Y/N continued to shine, her defensive efforts just as impressive as her offensive contributions. She hustled for rebounds, dove for loose balls, and her tenacity was infectious.

"Ohio State struggling to get past L/N's defense... and she steals it! L/N on the fast break now... passes to Clark, who finishes with a perfect layup! What a dynamic duo!"

As the final buzzer sounded, Iowa secured a decisive victory. The scoreboard read 82-67, and Y/N's performance was a significant part of that success.

"And that's the game! Iowa takes the win, and what a debut for Y/N L/N. She finishes with 12 points, 7 assists, and 5 rebounds. An all-around stellar performance."

"And there you have it, folks! A stunning performance from the Iowa Hawkeyes, led by the dynamic trio of L/N, Martin, and Clark. With players like these, the sky's the limit for this team, and the rest of the league better watch out!"

As Y/N waved to the cheering crowd, she couldn't help but smile. This was the fresh start she needed, and it was only the beginning.

──

"Great game tonight, ladies!" The reporter started, a broad smile on her face. "Y/N, this was your debut with Iowa, and you were nothing short of fantastic out there. How does it feel to be part of this team?"

You smiled, your eyes twinkling with a mix of relief and joy. "It feels incredible. The support from the coaching staff, my teammates, and the fans has been amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better start here at Iowa."

Caitlin, sitting to your right, nodded enthusiastically. "Y/N has been a fantastic addition. Her energy and skills have really brought a new dynamic to our team."

Kate Martin chimed in, a playful grin on her face. "Yeah, she fits right in. It's like she's been here all along, like seriously."

The reporter continued, "Y/N, you and Caitlin seemed to have an almost telepathic connection on the court tonight. Can you tell us a bit about how you've built such strong chemistry so quickly?"

You glanced at Caitlin, who gave you an encouraging nod. "Honestly, it's been pretty natural. Cait is such a smart player, and she makes it easy to connect and play off each other. We've been putting in a lot of extra time together, and it's really paying off."

Caitlin added, "Y/N is a hard worker, and her basketball IQ is off the charts. We clicked from day one, and it's only getting better."

Kate, not wanting to be left out, jumped in with a laugh. "Don't forget about me! The three of us have really gelled as a unit. We push each other to be better every day."

You put your arm around the blonde, earning a laugh from her. "Don't worry, Katie we wouldn't leave you out."

The reporter smiled, clearly enjoying the dynamic. "It's great to see such strong teamwork and friendship! What's next for this Iowa team? How are you planning to build on tonight's performance?"

You looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "We're just going to keep working hard, stay focused, and take it one game at a time. Tonight was a great win, but we know there's a lot of work ahead of us."

Caitlin nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. We have high expectations for ourselves, and we know we can achieve great things if we stick together and keep pushing."

Kate leaned in, her expression serious but with a hint of a smile. "We're aiming high. We want to make a deep run this season, and with Y/N on board, we feel like we can compete with anyone."

The interview wrapped up, and as the cameras turned off, the three players shared a group hug, your bond clear for everyone to see.

As they headed back to the locker room, Caitlin threw an arm around your shoulders. "You did great tonight. Welcome to the team, officially."

Kate added, "Yeah, we're glad to have you, Y/N. And this is just the beginning, trust."

──

"The fuck," Paige grumbled as she watched the post-game interview on TV, bitterness clear on her face. Nika and Aubrey exchanged amused glances as they watched Paige, who's eyes were glued on the screens.

Despite the fallout with Paige, you were still close with the rest of the team. You wouldn't let Paige get in between you and your old team, no matter the circumstances.

Paige's gaze finally averted from the screen, looking at the girls. "Does this shit not bother you guys like, not even a little bit?"

"Nah, P." Nika responded as she sighed, leaning back on the couch. "We're proud of her."

Aubrey continued, her tone gentle but firm. "I mean, you guys dated and shit. There's bound to be some bitter feelings, y'know."

Paige scoffed, crossing her arms tightly. "Yeah, well, it still sucks seeing her over there, acting like everything's fine."

Nika gave Paige a sympathetic look. "I get it, Paige. It's hard seeing someone you care about move on, especially after everything you two went through. But she's doing what's best for her. You have to respect that."

Aubrey nodded in agreement. "And honestly, she's killing it over there. Seeing her happy and thriving makes us happy, too. It's not about choosing sides—it's about supporting our friend."

"Did you hear her?" Their words went in one ear and out the other, her gaze turning back to the TV. "Oh Katie! We'd never leave you out. Like shut up," she mocked as Aubrey let out a laugh.

It was obvious she was jealous, it was a rare sight for the usually, confident blonde. Nika and Aubrey exchanged another glance, this time with knowing smiles. They could see right through Paige's facade.

"Wow, Paige, are you actually jealous?" Aubrey teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Paige rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. "I'm not jealous," she protested, though her tone lacked conviction. "I just don't like seeing her act all buddy-buddy with them."

"Sure," Nika said, leaning back and stretching. "It's just because she's happy and thriving without you, right?"

Paige shot her a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. "Shut up, Nika."

Aubrey laughed again, patting Paige on the shoulder. "It's okay to admit you miss her, Paige. We all miss her. But she's doing what she needs to do, and we have to respect that."

"I do respect that." Paige interjected, her voice defensive. The three of them quieted down, continuing watching the TV. "I guess she has a thing for blondes," she mumbled under her breathe.

"Come on, Paige!" Nika groaned as Aubrey began to laugh uncontrollably. "Stop encouraging her, Aubrey."

Paige rolled her eyes, a faint smirk playing on her lips despite herself. "What? It's true. First me, now Kate. Seems like she has a type. Blonde, 6ft and hoopers, I mean..."

Aubrey wiped away a tear from laughing so hard. "Oh my god, Paige. You're insane."

Nika shook her head, trying to suppress her own laughter. "First, you are not 6ft. And maybe it's time to focus on your game and let Y/N do her thing. You can't keep dwelling on this."

"Yes, I am! With shoes, I am." Paige sighed, the humor fading from her expression. "And I know. It's just hard, you know? Seeing her so happy without me. Without us."

Aubrey softened, leaning in to give Paige a reassuring pat on the back. "You'll get there. It just takes time. And who knows, maybe this will be a good thing for both of you in the long run."

Paige nodded, her eyes drifting back to the screen where Y/N was still beaming in the post-game interview. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

Nika stood up, stretching her arms above her head. "Alright, enough of this. Let's hit the gym. We have a season to focus on, and we need you at your best, Paige."

Paige took a deep breath, standing up as well. "You're right. Let's go."

Aubrey joined them, a supportive smile on her face. "That's the spirit. And remember, we're here for you, no matter what."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[hoonvrs]

CHILD OF DIVORCE — l. heeseung

PAIRING heeseung × fmr

DESC. yours and heeseungs breakup through the eyes of nishimura riki

GENRE angst, 3rd party perspective

WARNING mutual breakup, mention of parental issues, riki has attachment issues, he’s also irrational but aren’t we all

W. COUNT 0.8k

S. NOTES why did i have so much fun writing this

to say riki considered you and heeseung his parents was an understatement.

he boy genuinely believed you were. so it's safe to say that when his heeseung hyung ( read: dad ) came home to their apartment late to their weekly boys' night and dropped the news, he was devastated.

“me and y/n broke up.“

riki could feel his whole world collapse, suddenly feeling ten again when his parents sat him down to tell him that his mum and dad were getting a divorce and dad was going to be moving back to his old city.

in hindsight, he should’ve consoled his hyung who didn’t look like he had just broken it off with his girlfriend of four years and the woman everyone believed he’d marry one day. he should've gone up to him like a good friend and given him a few words of comfort — maybe even a hug.

but instead, he felt anger. it was selfish, but he couldn’t realise his irrationality over the splitting feeling in his chest, and heeseung's reaction — or lack thereof — didn’t help but wedge a nail in the crack and hammer it down.

he couldn’t make out what the rest of their friends were saying, feeling all his senses suddenly muffle, giving his emotions nowhere to go but out, “what do you mean you broke up.”

the room suddenly felt colder. all their friends stopped talking and froze their gazes on him. seeing sunghoon from his peripheral, sending him a questioning look, but his vision tunnelled on the eldest, who was still standing near the entrance. “you can’t just break up, not now.”

confusion settled on the elder's face, overtly not expecting this reaction from him, “what do you mean i can't? it's my relationship, and we both ended it.”

riki was starting to feel antagonised, seeing faces look back and forth between him and the other, so he stood up in an attempt to size himself up, refusing to see the irrationality of his point. he felt like heeseung was being inconsiderate by breaking up something riki relied on without thinking of the others who'd be affected outside of the relationship.

everyone in their friend group was aware of his abnormal attachments, evident in the shirt he refuses to throw away because it was his father's, even if the fabric had more holes than not, or the two sizes too big shoes his sister gifted him, insisting he would ‘grow into them’ and now yours and heeseung's relationship.

healthy relationships weren't the norm in his life growing up, so by default, riki was hostile and withdrawn towards you the first few times heeseung introduced you as his new girlfriend. reminding himself constantly at the back of his mind that all relationships must come to an end and with every problem heeseung brought home, he was convinced it was near.

however, he must have underestimated you. one year became two, then four, and riki had become accustomed to his life with you. finding himself excited every time you’d come over whenever he was around because you had always seemed to favour him slightly, giving him the best meat cuts whenever you’d eat out together, or saving him the corner of the brownie because you knew it was his favourite part.

maybe it was silly to let you grow a home into the hole in his heart that was carved by his mother, seeking maternal comforts from you and allowing you to become a constant in his life.

but then again, all relationships have an end but riki wasn’t ready to let this one go. “so what? that’s it? you’re just going to end it here after everything?”

“look, it was a mutual breakup. we both just don't feel the same as we did before, so we broke it off like adults. i wish her all the best, just not with me.”

the split started to spread throughout his whole body, feeling his knees start to weaken under the weight of his emotions. when he started to feel his throat clog up and his eyes start to burn, he quickly made his escape, pushing past his hyung making sure to knock their shoulder on his way out to show he wasn't happy with the new change.

he could hear them discussing what happened after slamming his bedroom door, the thin walls leaving no word left unheard, drilling each question into his mind.

maybe then he should’ve left and apologised for his outburst, but grief is a funny feeling.

even though the relationship wasn’t his and never was to begin with, riki had gotten too comfortable living vicariously through you, and now he wanted someone to take responsibility for feelings only he could be blamed for.

but that’s another thing about grief. there’s always someone you want to pin the blame on. someone who caused this emotion to spiral and settle at the pit of his stomach without anywhere else to go leaving it to make itself home in his body.

and it wasn’t going to be him.

perm taglist @mesopret @whoschr ​@haknom @shinsou-rii @redm4ri @lacimolela @llama-lyna @boyfhee @lazysmushi @flwoie @kocokookie @kyexvly @seongclb @dammit-jjk @flwrshee @produmads ​@teddywonss @aleiouvre @dneltrise @aleiouvre @nyxvrse @yohanabanana @whois-alexis @sngvhs @tinyegg @sserafimez @satsuri3su @yuemvi @chirokookie @idk-tbh777 @s00buwu

[lecsainz]

I SHOULD’VE KNOWN

˒ ⌕ masterlist . . .

parings: charles leclerc x exgirlfriend!reader | carlos sainz x fem!reader

summary: the one where you’re charles girlfriend but he is in love with other girl and he chose her.

an: I didn’t review it, so if you have mistakes, forgive me

type: angst ✶

December had always held a special place in your heart, not for the snowfall or the festive Starbucks drinks, nor for the winter holidays. It was all about Christmas. Maybe you loved it too much.

And that was the problem. You used to love it, but not anymore.

Your affection for Christmas had dwindled the moment you discovered that your boyfriend wanted to end things to be with someone else. It shattered your heart into a million pieces.

The argument with Charles echoed relentlessly in your mind. It was a cold, frosty evening, the air tinged with the anticipation of the upcoming festivities. The holiday decorations around only added a cruel contrast to the turmoil within.

"You can't just throw away what we have!" Your voice echoed off the walls, sharp with desperation, as you confronted him.

Charles stood there, his expression hardened yet filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "It's not about throwing away, it's about moving on," he retorted, his tone laced with a sadness that cut deeper than any knife.

Tears welled up in your eyes. "With her? How could you?"

He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. "I'm sorry," he whispered, the words heavy with the weight of the impending breakup.

"Sorry doesn't fix this, Charles!" Your voice quivered with a mix of anger and hurt. "You're leaving me for someone else, for something that's not even guaranteed!"

"I have to try," he said, his voice barely audible. "I can't keep pretending."

The room felt smaller, suffocating even, as the reality of the situation settled in. You had built dreams together, made plans, and now, they were crumbling like a fragile house of cards.

"You're choosing her over everything we had!" Your voice broke as the tears streamed down your face, the pain raw and consuming. "I thought you loved me."

"I thought I did too," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper, a pained expression etched on his face. "But things change."

With a heart weighed down by anguish, you sprinted out of the apartment, struggling to catch your breath. Your world was crumbling, emotions tearing through you like a relentless storm. As you hurried down the hallway, your path abruptly intersected with Carlos, Charles' teammate.

Carlos, deeply infatuated with you, had always harbored feelings, though you remained unaware, despite Charles throwing hints your way.

"Hey, are you alright?" Carlos asked, concern etched in his voice as he reached out a hand to steady you.

Tears streamed down your face, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. You shook your head, unable to form coherent words amidst the tumult of emotions.

"Come on, let's get you some air," Carlos suggested gently, guiding you to a nearby bench. He offered you a tissue and sat beside you, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.

You leaned against him, your tears soaking his jacket as you struggled to calm your breathing. Carlos remained silent, providing comfort through his presence alone, his heart aching to alleviate your pain.

As you slowly regained composure, you looked up at him, gratitude mixed with confusion in your eyes. "Thank you," you managed to whisper.

He offered a sad smile, his own heart breaking for you. "Y/N you don't have to thank me. I hate seeing you like this."

Your moment was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. Charles appeared, his expression a mixture of concern and regret as he witnessed the scene before him.

"Y/N, I..." Charles started, his voice faltering as he struggled to find the right words.

But you shook your head, your gaze piercing yet filled with an unexpected resolve. "No, Charles. You've made your choice. I need some time."

You stood up, brushing away the last of your tears, and without a backward glance, you walked away, leaving behind the shattered remains of a love that had once promised eternity.

Carlos watched you leave, his heart aching for your pain, a silent vow forming within to be there for you, regardless of his own feelings that remained buried deep within.

[w1w2]

If You

Kim Chaewon x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: ca. 6k

Synopsis: After a breakup, Y/N and Chaewon navigate the lingering ache of lost love, each weighed down by memories and regrets. “If you’re struggling like I am, Can’t we make things a little easier?”

For better experience listen to IF YOU by BIGBANG

English isn’t my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Rain fell steadily against the windows, the sound a soft rhythm that filled the stillness of the apartment. Y/N sat hunched over her desk, her fingers brushing absentmindedly against the screen of her phone. Her bedroom, usually alive with warmth and color, felt muted tonight. The fairy lights strung along the walls barely flickered, and the soft hum of the heater failed to chase away the cold she felt deep inside.

Her thumb hovered over a photo album labeled Us. She hadn’t opened it in weeks, telling herself she’d moved on or at least trying to believe it. But the quiet pull of nostalgia had a way of finding her, especially on nights like this. With a heavy sigh, she tapped on the folder.

The first image was a selfie of her and Chaewon, their cheeks pressed together, grinning under the golden haze of a setting sun. Chaewon’s fingers had been loosely wrapped around Y/N’s wrist, a bracelet glinting against her skin.

Y/N smiled faintly at the memory, but the ache in her chest quickly followed. The weight of the silence in her room pressed down harder, and she swiped through the photos slowly, each one unraveling pieces of the past.

There was one of them at a café, Chaewon holding up a latte with a heart-shaped foam art and a playful wink. Another at the beach, their feet buried in the sand, the ocean stretching endlessly behind them. And yet another of Chaewon asleep on Y/N’s shoulder during a late-night movie marathon, her face peaceful and angelic.

Y/N’s hand trembled as she locked her phone and set it down. This was a mistake, she thought. Letting herself drown in these memories always left her feeling emptier. But tonight, she couldn’t stop herself.

She turned to her desk drawer and pulled out a small, velvet-lined jewelry box. Inside, nestled against the soft fabric, was the bracelet. Silver, delicate, and simple. Chaewon had chosen it carefully, telling her it reminded her of Y/N “elegant and understated but beautiful in a way you can’t stop noticing.”

Y/N traced the cool metal with her fingertips, her mind pulling her back to the day she received it.

Flashback

It had been their first anniversary, and Y/N had expected nothing more than a quiet dinner together. They had agreed to keep it simple, both claiming they didn’t need grand gestures.

Chaewon, however, had a way of surprising her.

They were walking home after dinner, Y/N laughing at a story Chaewon had told about one of her members accidentally locking themselves out of their dorm room. The streetlights cast warm pools of light around them, and the crisp evening air carried the faint scent of blooming flowers.

“Wait,” Chaewon had said suddenly, stopping in her tracks.

Y/N blinked, confused as Chaewon rummaged in her coat pocket. “What are you doing?”

Chaewon looked up with a sheepish grin, her cheeks slightly pink. “I said no big gifts, but…” She pulled out a small box and held it out. “I couldn’t help myself.”

Y/N’s heart had skipped a beat. “Chaewon…”

“Just open it.”

Inside was the bracelet. The delicate design caught the light as Y/N lifted it from the box, her breath catching in her throat. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

Chaewon took it from her hands and gently fastened it around her wrist. Her fingers lingered for a moment, brushing against Y/N’s skin. “Now you’ll always have a piece of me with you,” she said softly, her voice full of affection.

Y/N had stared at her then, struck by how much love Chaewon could pour into the simplest moments. She threw her arms around her, holding her tightly, their laughter mingling with the quiet hum of the city around them.

End of the Flashback

The memory was so vivid that for a moment, Y/N could almost feel Chaewon’s arms around her again. But as she opened her eyes, reality crashed back in. The bracelet was still there, cool and unmoving in her hand, but Chaewon was gone.

The emptiness in the room felt unbearable. Y/N clenched the bracelet tightly in her fist, her knuckles whitening.

“What happened to us?” she murmured into the silence.

Her mind spiraled with questions she’d asked herself countless times before. Had she taken Chaewon for granted? Had she missed the signs of her growing unhappiness? Or had the weight of their lives—Chaewon’s demanding schedule, the secrecy of their love—become too much to bear?

She placed the bracelet back into the jewelry box and closed it gently, as if sealing away the memory. But the ache in her chest remained, sharp and persistent.

This was her routine now—revisiting their past in quiet moments, replaying every detail until it felt like she was living it all over again. It was both a comfort and a torment, a way to feel close to Chaewon but also a reminder of how far apart they’d become.

The rain outside grew heavier, drumming against the window like a heartbeat. Y/N leaned back in her chair, her gaze fixed on the raindrops racing down the glass. Somewhere out there, Chaewon was living her life, moving forward, maybe even smiling again.

Y/N wondered if Chaewon ever thought about her, if she too had a box of memories hidden away. Or maybe she had already let go, the way Y/N couldn’t seem to.

Her throat tightened as tears blurred her vision. “If you…” she whispered, the words trailing off into the quiet room.

For a moment, she allowed herself to hope—just for a moment—that Chaewon missed her too.

But that hope carried her back to the moment she couldn’t stop replaying in her mind, the moment everything fell apart.

Flashback

The park was quiet, save for the soft rustle of leaves and the occasional laughter of children playing in the distance. The setting sun painted the sky in shades of orange and pink, as if the universe had decided to wrap the day in beauty, completely unaware of the storm brewing between two hearts.

Y/N sat on the edge of a weathered wooden bench, her hands tightly clasped in her lap. The coolness of the wood seeped through her jeans, grounding her in a reality she didn’t want to face. Chaewon stood a few feet away, arms crossed, her gaze fixed on the horizon. Her figure was silhouetted against the setting sun, but the tension in her posture betrayed her calm façade.

The silence between them was deafening.

Finally, Chaewon broke it. Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to say this.”

Y/N turned to her, her heart pounding so loudly she thought it might drown out the words she didn’t want to hear. “Just say it,” she urged, though every fiber of her being wanted to run.

Chaewon took a deep breath, her fingers curling into fists at her sides. “I’ve been thinking about us. About everything.” Her voice wavered, and she paused, struggling to find the right words. “And I… I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Y/N blinked, the words not registering at first. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice trembling.

Chaewon turned to face her fully, and for the first time, Y/N saw the pain etched on her face. Her eyes were glassy, her lips pressed into a thin line, as if holding herself together was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

“It’s not you,” Chaewon said quickly, taking a step closer. “It’s everything else. The pressure, the schedules, the constant hiding… I thought I could balance it all, but I can’t.”

Y/N’s chest tightened. “So, what? You’re just giving up? Throwing us away?”

Chaewon flinched, her eyes darting to the ground. “I’m not throwing anything away. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.”

“Then don’t make it!” Y/N’s voice cracked as she stood, her emotions spilling over. “We can figure it out, Chaewon. We always do. I can wait for you. I’ll be patient. Just… don’t do this.”

Chaewon looked up at her, tears now brimming in her eyes. “You deserve more than waiting, Y/N. You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, their whole life. And right now, I can’t do that.”

The words hit Y/N like a punch to the gut. She staggered back, shaking her head. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve. I choose you, Chaewon. Isn’t that enough?”

Chaewon stepped forward, reaching for her, but stopped herself halfway. Her hands fell limply to her sides. “It’s not enough for me,” she whispered.

The wind picked up, carrying the scent of freshly cut grass and rustling the leaves above them. Y/N stared at Chaewon, her vision blurring with tears. “You’re lying,” she said, her voice hollow. “You’re just scared. Scared that I’ll see you struggle, that I’ll know you’re not perfect. But I already know, Chaewon. I know, and I still love you.”

Chaewon turned away, her shoulders shaking as she bit back a sob. “Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she said, her voice breaking.

Y/N took a step closer, desperate to close the growing distance between them. “Then tell me you don’t love me,” she demanded. “Say it, and I’ll walk away right now.”

Chaewon froze. The words lingered in the air, heavy and suffocating. She turned back to Y/N, her face streaked with tears. Her lips parted, but no sound came out.

“Say it,” Y/N repeated, her voice trembling.

“I can’t,” Chaewon admitted finally, her voice barely audible. “Because I do love you. More than you know. But love isn’t enough.”

The finality in her tone shattered something inside Y/N. She sank back onto the bench, her body numb. The coolness of the wood beneath her felt sharper now, almost painful.

Chaewon crouched in front of her, their faces inches apart. “You’ll be okay,” she said softly, though her own expression betrayed the words. “You’re strong, Y/N. Stronger than me.”

Y/N let out a bitter laugh, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend this is for my sake when it’s killing both of us.”

Chaewon reached out hesitantly, her fingers brushing against Y/N’s cheek. For a moment, they stayed like that, frozen in the fragile space between holding on and letting go.

“I’m sorry,” Chaewon whispered, her voice breaking. She stood, her hand slipping away as if it physically hurt her to let go.

Y/N watched her take a step back, then another. Her silhouette blurred as tears filled Y/N’s eyes again. Somewhere in the distance, a bird took flight, its wings slicing through the golden sky.

“Chaewon…” Y/N called out, her voice small and desperate.

Chaewon stopped but didn’t turn around. “I’ll always love you,” she said softly, the words carried away by the wind.

And then she walked away.

Y/N sat there long after Chaewon disappeared from view. The sunset had faded, the sky now tinged with the deep blues of twilight. The sounds of the park grew distant, muffled by the weight of her grief.

The bird circled overhead before flying out of sight, leaving Y/N alone with the emptiness.

End of the Flashback

The memory faded, but the ache it left behind was as sharp as ever. Y/N rubbed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, the faint hum of rain against her apartment window grounding her in the present. It didn’t matter how many times she revisited that day—it always felt as raw as if it had just happened.

She let out a slow, shuddering breath, running her fingers through her hair. The stillness in the room was suffocating, so she grabbed her coat and keys, deciding she couldn’t stay here any longer. Maybe a change of scenery would help, though deep down she knew better.

Moments later, she found herself standing outside the café, her hand resting on the door handle.

The café smelled of roasted coffee and freshly baked pastries, a comforting blend that had once been a backdrop to Y/N’s happiest moments. She pushed open the glass door, the small bell overhead chiming softly. The sound felt familiar, like an echo from a distant memory.

The barista greeted her with a polite smile, but Y/N barely noticed. Her gaze instinctively went to the corner booth near the window—their booth. It was empty, bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon sunlight. For a second, she hesitated, considering sitting elsewhere. But her feet carried her there anyway, as if her heart couldn’t resist the pull.

She slid into the seat, running her hand along the polished wooden table. The grooves and scratches, so subtle to most, felt like a map of memories. Chaewon had once doodled on a napkin here, sketching a caricature of Y/N that had them both in stitches. Y/N had kept that napkin, tucked away somewhere she couldn’t bear to look now.

The barista brought over her usual—a caramel latte, the same drink Chaewon had loved. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” he said casually.

“Yeah,” Y/N replied, her voice quiet. “I’ve been… busy.”

The barista nodded and left her alone. Y/N wrapped her hands around the warm mug, staring into the swirls of foam. She couldn’t stop her mind from wandering, from pulling her back to a time when this seat across from her wasn’t empty.

Flashback

“Is it weird that I like dipping my croissant into my latte?” Chaewon asked, breaking off a flaky piece of pastry.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “It’s not weird, just… very you.”

Chaewon pouted, pretending to be offended. “You’re saying I’m weird?”

“You’re adorable,” Y/N corrected, leaning forward to steal a bite of the croissant.

Chaewon grinned, her eyes crinkling in that way that made Y/N’s heart race. “Good save.”

They sat there for hours, talking about everything and nothing. Chaewon’s dreams, her fears, her struggles as a leader. Y/N had listened intently, holding her hand across the table and promising her that she’d always be there, no matter what.

End of Flashback

Y/N blinked, the memory dissolving like sugar in hot coffee. She glanced at the seat across from her, and her chest tightened. The space felt too vast, too empty.

She took a sip of her latte, the sweetness doing little to ease the bitterness in her heart.

Later that day, Y/N found herself walking aimlessly through the streets. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but her feet seemed to lead her toward the park. It wasn’t the same one where they’d broken up, but it held the same quiet serenity, the same crisp air that felt too sharp against her skin.

As she passed a group of teenagers laughing and taking selfies, a voice called out to her. “Hey, aren’t you Y/N?”

She turned to see a young girl, probably no older than 16, looking at her with wide, starstruck eyes. “I think you’re Y/N! You used to… you were close to LE SSERAFIM, right? I saw pictures of you with Kim Chaewon a while back.”

Y/N forced a smile, though she felt her chest constrict. “Yeah, I know them,” she said softly.

The girl’s face lit up. “That’s so cool! Chaewon is amazing, isn’t she? I just saw their new performance. It was incredible.”

Y/N nodded, her smile faltering. “She’s… she’s really talented.”

The girl didn’t seem to notice the sadness in her tone. She waved goodbye cheerfully, leaving Y/N standing alone on the path.

The tightness in her chest grew heavier. Chaewon was amazing, and she always had been. Y/N had known it from the start. But had she done enough to make sure Chaewon knew how much she believed in her?

Back at home, Y/N sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the open journal on her lap. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of her bedside lamp casting long shadows on the walls.

She picked up her pen, hesitating for a moment before pressing it to the page.

Chaewon,I don’t even know where to start. Every time I think about you, it feels like there’s this weight in my chest that I can’t get rid of. I miss you. I miss your voice, your laugh, the way you always knew exactly what to say when I was feeling lost.

Do you ever think about me? About us?

I’ve been replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong. I keep thinking about all the times I could’ve done more, been better for you. Like that night you called me after your concert in Busan.

Flashback

The call had come late, long past midnight. Y/N had been half-asleep, but the moment Chaewon’s name lit up her screen, she’d answered.

“Hey,” Chaewon’s voice was soft, but there was a tremor in it that made Y/N sit up immediately. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” Y/N lied. “What’s wrong?”

There was a long pause before Chaewon spoke again. “I don’t know. I just… everything feels so heavy sometimes. Like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”

Y/N’s heart ached at the vulnerability in her voice. “You don’t have to do this alone,” she said firmly. “I’m here, Chaewon. Always.”

Chaewon had sighed, a shaky sound that broke Y/N’s heart even more. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

End of Flashback

Y/N closed her journal, her hand trembling. She had been there for Chaewon in that moment, but had it been enough? Had she done enough to make Chaewon feel like she wasn’t alone?

Her gaze shifted to the window, where the rain had started again, soft and unrelenting. She placed the journal on her nightstand and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

The silence in the room felt unbearable, but it was a silence she’d grown used to.

“Chaewon,” she whispered into the stillness. “I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the air, unanswered, yet Y/N couldn’t stop herself from hoping they would somehow reach her. Somewhere out there, in a different room under different lights, Chaewon was living her life—perhaps moving on, perhaps not. Y/N couldn’t know for sure.

But Chaewon felt it too, the weight of the same silence.

The steady thump of the bass reverberated through the rehearsal studio, punctuated by the sound of sneakers scuffing against the polished floor. Chaewon moved in sync with her members, her every step sharp, her every turn precise. Yet her mind wasn’t on the choreography.

Her focus wavered as a familiar melody filtered through the speakers. The upbeat tempo and bright vocals felt out of place against the storm brewing in her chest. She froze mid-movement, her heart lurching as she recognized the song. It was Y/N’s favorite—something they used to sing along to during long car rides, the windows down, laughter spilling into the wind.

The music blared on, but Chaewon’s breath hitched. Her chest tightened, the walls of the studio suddenly feeling too close, the air too thin.

“Chaewon, are you okay?” Sakura asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Chaewon forced a smile, nodding quickly. “I’m fine. Just… need a minute.” Without waiting for a response, she hurried out of the studio, the sound of the song fading as the door closed behind her.

In the quiet hallway, Chaewon leaned against the wall, her hand pressed to her chest as if that could still the ache. It had been weeks since she’d last seen Y/N, but the memories clung to her like shadows, surfacing when she least expected them.

Back in her dorm room, the glow of her phone screen illuminated Chaewon’s face. She lay curled on her bed, her knees tucked to her chest, scrolling through her photo gallery.

There was one of Y/N asleep on her shoulder, her face peaceful and soft in the dim light of Chaewon’s living room. Another of Y/N laughing mid-bite during a makeshift dinner date at her apartment, the kitchen behind her a chaotic mess of half-prepped ingredients.

Chaewon’s thumb hovered over a video. She hesitated, then tapped play.

The video started with Y/N holding the camera, pouting playfully. “Say hi to your fans, Chaewon!”

Chaewon appeared in the frame, her cheeks pink as she groaned, “Y/N, I’m off-duty.”

“But you’re so cute!” Y/N teased, leaning in to kiss Chaewon’s cheek, earning a shy laugh from the idol.

The video ended, and Chaewon set her phone down, staring at the ceiling. The quiet of her room was deafening, filled only with the faint hum of the city outside.

Chaewon rubbed her eyes, willing the tears away. She had thought walking away from Y/N was the right choice. Her schedule was relentless, her responsibilities as a leader unyielding. Being with Y/N had started to feel selfish, like she was holding her back from the happiness she deserved.

But now, lying alone in her dorm, Chaewon wondered if she had been wrong.

She had everything she had ever dreamed of—fame, success, adoration from fans across the world. Yet none of it filled the emptiness Y/N had left behind.

Her fingers brushed against her nightstand, where a Polaroid of the two of them rested, tucked into the corner of her mirror. In the photo, Y/N was smiling brightly, her arms draped around Chaewon’s shoulders. Chaewon was looking at her, her expression soft, as if she couldn’t believe someone like Y/N had chosen her.

Now, all Chaewon could see in the mirror was the shadow of the person she had been in that photo.

Flashback

It had been a rare evening off, and Chaewon had done something she almost never did: she broke the rules.

She had slipped away from the dorms, her cap pulled low over her face, and made her way to Y/N’s apartment. Y/N opened the door, her surprise melting into a delighted smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you,” Chaewon admitted, stepping inside.

Y/N pulled her into a hug, and for the first time in weeks, Chaewon felt the tension in her shoulders ease.

They spent the night cooking together, though “cooking” was a generous term. Y/N was terrible at following recipes, and Chaewon wasn’t much better, but they didn’t care. Flour dusted the countertops, and burnt garlic wafted through the air, but their laughter drowned out every mishap.

When they finally sat down to eat their poorly made pasta, Y/N raised her glass of soda dramatically. “To us, the culinary disasters.”

“To us,” Chaewon repeated, her voice warm.

Later, as they sat on the couch, Y/N leaned in and kissed her softly. “You’re everything to me, you know that?”

Chaewon’s heart swelled, and she held Y/N close, wishing the moment could last forever.

End of Flashback

Chaewon blinked back to the present, the memory lingering like a ghost in the room. Her eyes drifted to the corner of her dorm, where a small plant sat on a shelf. It was drooping, its leaves pale and dry.

She frowned, realizing she had forgotten to water it—again. She got up and carried the pot to the sink, running water over the parched soil.

The plant looked pitiful, and Chaewon couldn’t help but see herself in it. With Y/N, she had thrived, her life full of color and light. Without her, she felt like she was wilting, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise.

She placed the plant back on the shelf, her hands lingering on the pot. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, unsure if she was speaking to the plant, herself, or Y/N.

The next morning, Chaewon was back on stage, the spotlight blinding, her voice steady as she greeted the cheering fans. To them, she was confident, radiant, untouchable.

But as she danced and sang, her heart felt heavy. She wondered if anyone could see the cracks beneath her polished exterior, the vulnerability she worked so hard to hide.

Behind the scenes, when the music stopped and the lights dimmed, Chaewon sat alone in the dressing room, her fingers brushing over the Polaroid tucked into her bag.

For all her fame and success, she had never felt so alone.

That night, she returned to her dorm, her mind heavy with thoughts of Y/N. Sleep didn’t come easily, the memories of their time together playing on a loop in her head.

The next morning dawned gray and quiet, the city blanketed in clouds that promised rain. Chaewon sat by the window of the dorm’s common area, watching droplets streak the glass as they started to fall. Her schedule for the day was mercifully light, but the free time only left more room for the ache in her chest to grow.

Y/N sat in a café. It was as quiet as Y/N had ever seen it, the usual hum of chatter replaced by the gentle patter of rain against the large glass windows. She sat in their favorite corner, her hands wrapped around a warm mug. Outside, the rain blurred the world into watercolor streaks, the kind of scene that always felt more like a memory than reality.

She stared at the rain, her thoughts tangled with images of Chaewon. No matter how many times she tried to bury the memories, they always found their way back to her. The sound of a bell chiming above the café door barely registered in her mind.

Until she saw her.

Chaewon.

The world seemed to slow as Y/N’s eyes locked onto her. Chaewon stood just inside the door, shaking rain from her umbrella. She looked different—tired, maybe—but no less radiant. Her damp hair clung to her face, and her oversized sweater made her seem smaller than Y/N remembered.

Chaewon’s gaze swept over the room, and when their eyes met, her breath caught. For a moment, neither moved, the noise of the world around them fading into nothing.

Y/N’s heart raced, the sudden rush of emotions leaving her lightheaded. Should she wave? Smile? Say something?

Before she could decide, Chaewon stepped forward.

Chaewon approached slowly, her steps hesitant as if she were still deciding whether to stay or turn back. “Y/N,” she said softly when she was close enough to be heard.

Y/N set her mug down, her fingers trembling slightly. “Hi, Chaewon.”

It was such a small exchange, but the weight of it made Y/N’s chest tighten.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Chaewon asked, gesturing to the seat across from her.

“Of course,” Y/N replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Chaewon slid into the chair, setting her umbrella against the table. They sat in silence for a moment, the air between them heavy with unspoken words.

“You still come here?” Chaewon asked, her tone soft, almost hesitant.

“Sometimes,” Y/N admitted. “It’s… familiar.”

Chaewon nodded, her gaze dropping to the table. “I haven’t been here in a while.”

Y/N wanted to ask why, but she already knew the answer. This place held too much of them, their laughter and shared dreams woven into the fabric of the walls.

Their conversation began cautiously, like walking on fragile ice. They talked about the café, the rain, even the lattes. Safe topics. Neutral ground. But beneath the surface, the weight of everything left unsaid threatened to pull them under.

It was Y/N who finally broke the delicate balance.

“Chaewon,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I… I’ve missed you.”

Chaewon’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, and for a moment, Y/N saw every emotion Chaewon tried to hide—pain, longing, and something that looked dangerously like hope.

“I’ve missed you too,” Chaewon admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “More than I can put into words.”

Y/N’s heart ached at the honesty in her tone. “Then why?” she asked, the question escaping before she could stop it. “Why did you let me go?”

Chaewon looked away, her jaw tightening. “Because I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t want you to feel trapped in a relationship where I couldn’t give you everything you deserved.”

“I never felt trapped,” Y/N said softly. “I felt loved.”

Chaewon’s hands clenched into fists on the table. “I know,” she said after a long pause. “But I didn’t know how to balance everything. The group, the fans, my responsibilities… I thought I was doing the right thing, but all I’ve done is hurt you. Hurt myself.”

The rain outside grew heavier, the rhythmic tapping against the glass filling the silence that followed. Y/N stared at her hands, her mind racing.

“I’ve been struggling too,” she said finally, her voice shaky. “I keep wondering what I could’ve done differently, if I could’ve been more patient, more understanding.”

“You were more than enough,” Chaewon said quickly, her voice firm. “Y/N, don’t think for a second that this was your fault. It was me. I’m the one who couldn’t handle it.”

Y/N looked up at her, and for the first time in weeks, she saw the Chaewon she fell in love with—not the idol, not the leader, but the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve when she thought no one was looking.

“Then why does it still hurt so much?” Y/N asked, her voice cracking.

Chaewon reached across the table, her hand hovering over Y/N’s as if unsure whether she had the right to touch her. “Because we both care too much to let it go,” she said softly.

Y/N hesitated, then turned her hand over, letting Chaewon’s fingers intertwine with hers. The warmth of her touch was both familiar and foreign, a reminder of everything they’d shared and everything they’d lost.

The rain continued to fall, blurring the world outside the window. To Y/N, it felt like a reflection of her own heart—cleansing, yet heavy with the weight of the past.

Chaewon’s thumb brushed gently against the back of Y/N’s hand. “I don’t know if we can fix this,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “But I want to try. If you’ll let me.”

Y/N’s breath caught, her chest tightening with a mix of relief, sadness, and hope. She wanted to say yes, to take the leap and trust that they could find their way back to each other. But fear held her back. Fear of repeating the same mistakes, of reopening wounds that hadn’t yet healed.

“I don’t know if I can go through losing you again,” Y/N said quietly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“You won’t,” Chaewon said, her voice steady despite the tears in her own eyes. “I won’t let that happen. Not this time.”

They sat there for what felt like hours, their hands clasped together, the rain outside a steady backdrop to their tentative reunion. The storm inside Y/N’s heart hadn’t cleared entirely, but for the first time in a long while, she felt the faintest glimmer of hope.

And for now, that was enough.

Eventually, the café grew quieter as the few remaining patrons began to leave. Chaewon glanced at the clock on the wall, then back at Y/N. “We should probably go,” she said softly, though her tone carried a reluctance to let the moment end.

Y/N nodded, her hand slipping from Chaewon’s as she reached for her coat. The warmth of their connection lingered, even as they gathered their things and headed for the door.

The rain had eased by the time they stepped outside, but the sky still hung heavy with gray clouds. A cool breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees, carrying the faint scent of wet pavement. Y/N and Chaewon stood beneath the café awning, sharing a single umbrella.

For a moment, neither spoke. The world around them seemed to fade, leaving only the soft patter of rain and the faint hum of distant traffic.

Y/N shifted the umbrella slightly to shield Chaewon from the drizzle, her fingers brushing against Chaewon’s hand on the handle. The touch sent a familiar spark through her, a sensation she hadn’t felt in what felt like a lifetime.

“Do you want to walk for a bit?” Chaewon asked, her voice tentative.

Y/N nodded, and they began to move down the quiet street, the umbrella hovering between them like a fragile truce.

They walked in silence at first, the rhythm of their footsteps syncing as if they’d never been apart. Y/N couldn’t help but glance at Chaewon from time to time, taking in the way her damp hair clung to her face, the way her shoulders hunched slightly against the cold.

It was all so familiar yet distant, like looking at an old photo through a foggy window.

“I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again,” Chaewon said suddenly, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, almost drowned out by the rain.

Y/N hesitated, her grip tightening on the umbrella. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to,” she admitted, her words heavier than she intended. “It hurt too much.”

Chaewon stopped walking, and Y/N paused a step ahead, turning to face her. Chaewon’s expression was open, vulnerable in a way Y/N hadn’t seen in a long time.

“I know,” Chaewon said. “I hurt you. And I’ve been hurting too.” She took a deep breath, as if steadying herself. “I thought I was doing the right thing back then, letting you go. I thought it would make things easier for both of us.”

Y/N swallowed hard, her chest tightening. “Did it?”

Chaewon shook her head, a small, rueful smile tugging at her lips. “Not even a little.”

They resumed walking, slower this time. Chaewon spoke again, her words hesitant. “I’ve thought about you every day, Y/N. Wondered if you were okay, if you hated me, if…” She trailed off, biting her lip.

“If what?” Y/N prompted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“If you still cared.”

Y/N’s heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in Chaewon’s tone. She stopped walking, turning to face her fully. “Of course I care,” she said, her voice trembling. “How could I not? You were everything to me.”

Chaewon looked down, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve. “You still are to me,” she said softly.

The confession hung between them, heavy with meaning. Y/N’s breath caught, the weight of her emotions crashing down on her all at once.

“Chaewon…” she began, but she didn’t know how to finish.

Chaewon took a small step closer, her gaze searching Y/N’s. “I still love you,” she said, her voice firm despite the tremor in it. “I always have. But I won’t ask you to come back to me, not if you’re not ready. Not if you’re not sure.”

Y/N felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. The words she wanted to say were tangled in her throat, caught between her heart and her fear.

“I don’t know,” Y/N said finally, her voice breaking. “I don’t know if I can go through it again, Chaewon. I’m scared.”

Chaewon nodded, her expression filled with understanding. “I know. And I don’t want to hurt you again. But I also don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering what we could’ve been if we tried one more time.”

The clouds above them began to shift, a faint ray of sunlight breaking through the gray. It fell across the sidewalk, illuminating the rain-soaked world in a soft, golden glow.

Chaewon stepped back slightly, giving Y/N space. “I’ll leave the choice up to you,” she said quietly. “Whatever you decide, I’ll respect it.”

Y/N watched her for a long moment, her heart warring with itself. Part of her wanted to reach out, to take Chaewon’s hand and hold on as tightly as she could. But another part of her—tired, cautious, and still nursing old wounds—held her back.

The silence stretched between them, broken only by the soft rustling of the umbrella in the breeze.

Finally, Chaewon smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Take care of yourself, Y/N,” she said, her voice filled with quiet affection.

She turned and began to walk away, the umbrella no longer shielding her from the light drizzle.

Y/N stood there, clutching the handle of the umbrella, her fingers trembling. Her gaze fell to her other hand, where she had instinctively reached into her pocket and pulled out the bracelet Chaewon had given her so long ago. The delicate silver chain glinted in the faint sunlight, a tangible reminder of everything they’d shared.

She looked up again, watching as Chaewon’s figure grew smaller in the distance.

“If you…” Y/N whispered, her voice breaking as the words trailed off.

She didn’t finish the thought, but it hung in the air, heavy with the possibility of a future yet unwritten.

[jpmarvel90]

Always the Bridesmaid

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Word Count: 7236

Relationship: Scarlett x ReaderPugh

Summary: Y/n and Scarlett have become close friends since they met whilst Y/n was working as her little sister's manager. Y/n has feelings for Scarlett but has firmly been friendzoned and has to watch on as Scarlett makes her way through endless men and women.

Y/n's POV:

I've known Scarlett for the last 4 years. I meet her through my little sister Florence, and we've been great friends since. After doing my business degree, I became Florence's manager. We didn't know if it would work, but Flo wanted someone that she could trust, and she knew that I would always do what was best for her.

It's ended up working out really well and we've got a great working relationship that doesn't affect our personal one. It was through Black Widow that I first met Scarlett and we hit it off really quickly and became best friends. Flo would always laugh, saying that if she couldn't find me on set, she would just need to look for Scarlett and we'd be together.

Spending so much time with Scar led to inevitable feelings to develop. She's naturally flirty and I forget that sometimes. Unfortunately, that just made the feelings grow quicker. Flo worked it out pretty early on and always tried to convince me to tell her. But just as I would work up the courage, she would be with someone else.

Scarlett is openly bi, so there was never a worry about her not liking women, but it seemed that it just meant there were more people for her to end up with. It never got in the press, but Scar liked to sleep around. If she wasn't in a relationship, she was having one night stands with people on nights out or after movie premieres. Something I had a front row seat too which made my heart ache.

The closer friends we became, the more times I was invited to be her plus one. Though I was never the person that was lucky enough to go home with her. 9 times out of ten, I would be making my own way home as Scarlett would have her driver take her and that night's conquest to her place.

Thankfully, Flo and I are in LA for a few weeks, meaning that I get a break from seeing Scarlett. Which actually is a double edged sword. I love spending time with her. Our friendship is one of the most important ones that I have. But it also is becoming quite painful to be around her. She's recently out of a relationship, which means her one night stands are increasing in number. So this time with my sister on a rare break has been nice.

"What are you thinking about?" Flo asks me from her sun lounger. We're currently sat by her pool. When we're in LA, I live with Flo. I have my own place in New York, but not being on the same money as Flo, means owning multiple properties isn't an option. But Flo is a great sister and instantly offered for me to live with her when we were both in LA. There's only two years between us and we get on really well. We're not just sisters, we're best friends.

"Not much, just what I need to get sorted for Dune. When we're back in New York, I need to finalise the contracts with the team." I respond, earning an eye roll from Flo. "You're always in work mood. Relax a little." She huffs, adjusting in her lounger to turn and look at me. "Besides, I was sure you were thinking of Scarlett, you always have the same look when you do." She teases me, poking at my cheek. I hit her hand away. "I do not!" I glare at her.

"You do! It's a mix between complete adoration and pain. You're like a brooding teen from a teen drama." She insists. "I do not brood." I bite back. "I still think you should tell her." She shares, turning to lie on her back, closing her eyes. "We've talked about this. She seems quite happy with the lifestyle she has at the moment." I respond and she nods in agreement. "She has taken this latest breakup harder than usual." She observes.

"I think what I actually need is to find someone for myself. Maybe you could help?" I admit, causing Flo to shoot up in her seat. "Really?" She asks, lifting her sunglasses onto her head. "Yeah, desperate times and all that." I joke. "Oh, I actually have the perfect person. I should set you up with Hailee." She thinks excitedly. I roll my eyes as she starts excitedly rambling. I might end up regretting this. "She's in Europe for a month but when she's back I'll talk to her." Flo eventually comes to a decision, and I agree, knowing that it'll be easier.

Flo and I have a nice few weeks off in LA, It was good to get some sun and relax, although she's right. I do struggle in switching off from work, so I did spend some time making sure everything was in order for her.

Our time in LA was ending with us attending the Antman and Wasp premiere. Flo was attending with Charlie whilst I had the pleasure of attending with Scarlett. She had asked me not long after her break up as she was meant to go with Colin. She didn't want to go alone and basically begged me to go with her. And me being a sucker for her puppy dog sad eyes, I agreed.

As she was just attending the premiere there was a lot less faff than there can be when it's a movie she's in. When I attended the Marriage Story premiere with her, we were getting ready hours before and being briefed so much by her team. I much prefer it like this. She'll pick me up and I can just hang back whilst she gets her picture taken and does a couple of interviews. The rest of the time we'll be together and get to enjoy the movie.

"Wow. Y/n, you're looking beautiful." Scarlett greets me as I make sure the house is locked up. I spin around and see her resting against the side of the car in the most incredible black suit. Her cleavage is on show, and it hugs her in all the right places. I gulp seeing her looking incredible. "I think you need to look in a mirror. You look sensational Scar." I tell her as I approach the car. "Thanks babe." She smiles at me, wrapping her arms around me. There goes my fluttering heart.

"Let's get going, shall we?" She asks, holding the door open for me. "Thank you, Johansson." I smirk at her, giving her a wink and letting my hand run along her bare arm. I'm sure I see her shudder under my touch. She's frozen a little, before she shakes her head and gets in the car the other side. "I missed you." She says, turning to pout at me. "I was only gone for three weeks." I laugh at her childlike face. "Three weeks too long without my bestie." She sighs. That causes a pang in my heart when I remember that's all she sees me as. Her friend.

"Seems like you had plenty of company to distract you." I point out, causing her to drop her gaze. "Yeah, I took the breakup a little harder than I thought and let myself go a little too far. I'm ready to focus on me for a bit." She says a little embarrassed. Feeling guilty for pointing it out, I reach over and take her hand. "It's ok to be hurt. You just need to find a healthy way to vent." I reassure her, giving her a warm smile when she finally looks up to me.

"What would I do without you Y/n?" She asks, a sadness in her eyes. "Suffer endlessly no doubt." I tease, making her laugh. "You're right there. You better not leave me." She lightly threatens. "Unfortunately, I think you're stuck with me." I chuckle. She lifts my hand to her lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles. "Good." She smiles.

The premiere goes well, and I really enjoy the movie. I'm a huge Marvel geek so I understand how lucky I am to get to see the movie at the world premiere. I watched on as Scarlett did everything she needed to. People were used to seeing me with her. Our friendship was well documented, but they knew it was a friendship and nothing more, so we didn't get inundated with rumours.

We make our way to the after party and we have a great time dancing and drinking. Flo and Charlie are in a world of their own and I smile seeing my sister so happy. Scarlett is quick to drag me to the dance floor and her hands find my hips, swaying us to the music. Her touches are extremely flirty as she dances close to me, her body pressed into mine.

After some time dancing, I feel a tap on my shoulder. "We're heading home" Flo tells me, as Charlie has his arms wrapped around her, placing kisses to her neck. "Stop." She laughs, playfully pushing him away. "Have fun. I'll see if I can crash at Scarlett's" I tell her, knowing it's the first time she's seen Charlie in a few weeks. "Thanks. I love you Y/n/n. Stay safe." She tells me, pulling me into a tight hug. "You too. Safe sex is good sex!" I shout after them, earning a middle finger from Flo.

I hear Scarlett laughing next to me. "You two have a great relationship." She observes and I nod. "Yeah, I'm pretty lucky she's my little sister." I smile. "I'm going to run to the loo and grab some more drinks. Do you want one?" I ask and she nods. "Please, I'll have whatever you're having." She responds. I nod and leave her to continue dancing whilst I make my way to the loo.

There's quite the queue at both the bathroom and the bar. But I eventually manage to grab us both a cosmo and turn around to rejoin Scarlett. I look around the dance floor and my heart drops when I see her lip locked with a red headed woman. I don't know why I'm surprised. This happens more often than not.

When she pulls away for air, she notices me, and I plaster on a fake smile. "Y/n/n! You're back. This is..." She greets me with a big smile, turning to the woman. "Kacey." The redhead introduces herself to me. "Oh, thanks for these. You're ok getting another right?" She asks, taking the drinks from my hand and passing one to Kacey. "Uh yeah. No worries." I respond, turning back to the bar knowing I've lost any attention from her for the rest of the night.

I go to the bar and order a shot of vodka, that I down pretty quickly, and then grab a beer. I don't know why I let this get to me so much. I know this is what she's like. I need to just move one. Hopefully when Hailee is back in the US something might go right for me.

"Y/n!" I hear my name being shouted. I turn around and see Scarlett with her lipstick smudged and a big smile on her face. Her hand tightly grasped around Kacey's. "We're heading home. You ok to getting back on your own?" She asks me with a drunk glaze to her eyes. "Yeah sure." I respond, downing the rest of my beer and leaving before anything else can be said. I'm done with this.

I head outside and order an uber before finding a hotel nearby that has a vacancy. Luckily there is one not too far away, though my bank balance isn't going to thank me! Whilst I'm waiting for my cab, I see Scarlett drag Kacey into the back of her car, laughing the whole time.

That night in the hotel, I started to re-evaluate my life. I need to either move on from this stupid crush or remove myself from the situation. It's a hard decision as I love my friendship with Scarlett, and I don't think that I want to lose that. But in my current state, I don't think I can keep seeing her like this. I come to the decision that I'm going to take a bit of time away from her. I can use work as an excuse and hopefully get the chance to meet Hailee and see where things go.

I have a difficult night and only manage to get a couple of hours sleep. But I don't rush home, wanting Flo to be able to have the most time with Charlie. I don't have to check out until 11, so I spend it chilling in the room. Not having a phone charger, my phone died during the night, and I sigh. I only have the dress I was wearing last night. I call down to reception and ask if they can book me a cab to take me home. I just want to wash the night off me.

Reception calls when the cab is here, and I make my way down as quickly as possible to avoid the stares I'm bound to get when I walk out with smudged makeup and a crinkled dress. I slip into the back of the cab and rest my head back against the headrest as the car rocks along the road.

When I pull up at Flo's I thank the driver and head to the front door. But before I can open it, it swings open, and a body collides with mine. "Y/n/n. Where the hell have you been?" I teary Flo asks me. "I thought you knew I wasn't coming home last night so you and Charlie could have the place to yourself." I reply, unsure why she's so upset. "Yeah, you said you'd crash at Scarlett's. I tried calling you to see if you wanted to join us for breakfast, but it went straight to voicemail. Then when I called Scarlett, she said that you didn't go home with her." She starts to panic again so I pull her into me. "Sorry. I stayed in a hotel last night and my phone died." I explain. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." I tell her, guilt filling me. I should have messaged her last night to let her know.

"That's ok. I was just so worried when I couldn't get a hold of you. I thought something might have happened to you." She says a bit more calmly this time. She hugs me tightly again and we turn to head inside, but the harsh breaking of a car catches our attention. "Y/n! Thank God you're ok!" Scarlett says as she rushes out of the car, launching herself at me.

"When Flo called and said you hadn't come home and weren't answering your phone, I was so worried about you." She rambles out and I find it hard not to scoff. She had no concern about me getting home safely last night. "I'm fine." I respond a little too harshly and I see Flo raise an eyebrow at me. "Are you ok? Where were you?" She asks, taking my hands. The touch is making me uncomfortable, so I gently pull them away. "I stayed in a hotel. I had already agreed that Flo could have the house with Charlie as they hadn't seen each other in ages." I inform her. "Why didn't you tell me? You could have stayed with me." She says but I once again fight to hide the scoff.

"I was going to, but you were a bit distracted." I point out. "Oh." Scarlett says when the realisation hits. "Look, I'd really like to shower and get some sleep. I'm heading in now." I say, not wanting to be in this situation any longer. "Of course, Y/n/n. I'll make you some breakfast, you must be hungry." Flo smiles, sensing the tension. "I'll see you later Y/n/n." Scarlett calls after. I turn and give her a tight lipped smile as I continue to walk backwards. I see hurt flash across her face. But I brush it off, heading upstairs.

Once I'm showered and in some comfy clothes. I climb into bed, hoping to hide away for the day, but I don't get my wish as Flo appears at my door with a tray in her hands. She walks in and places the plate of fried goods in front of me. "You looked like you could do with something greasy!" She smiles, taking her seat next to me. "Thank Flossy." I smile, tucking in straight away.

"She did it again. Didn't she?" Flo asks giving me a sympathetic look. "Yeah, but it's not like it's a surprise." I reply, trying to play it down. "Seems odd after how she was talking about focusing on herself and taking a break from all that." She shares aloud. I just hum in response. "It's her life. She can do as she pleases Flo." I remind her. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt you." She comforts me. "You're right. But today is the last time I'm going to let it affect me. I'm ready to move on from this. In fact, I was thinking that maybe I could stay here whilst you go back to New York. I can still work from here but it just gives me a bit of time to sort my head out." I suggest, hoping she agrees.

I watch her face to see what she's thinking. But I can't quite get a read on it. "Sure. Hailee will be back by then anyway so some time for you to get to know each other." She smiles, making me let out a sigh of relief.

We spend the rest of the day hanging out together with Charlie. They'll be flying out tomorrow to New York, so it's nice to have some time together before we're apart for a few weeks. Scarlett texts me a couple of times and I respond to be nice.

Scarly: So when do you get to New York? We should head for dinner to celebrate being reunited.

Y/n/n: I'm actually not flying back with Flo. I'm staying for some last minute work in LA for a few more weeks.

Scarly: Wait what? You didn't mention anything last night. We were meant to be reunited to take New York by storm.

Y/n: You were a little distracted last night. I'm sure you'll be fine until I get there next month.

My response is a little short and I feel bad. But I don't think I can keep up with the charade anymore. She's not too happy that I didn't tell her, but eventually stops complaining about it. She makes me promise to have a bestie weekend when I get home and I reluctantly agree. Hopefully by then, I'll be in a better place and can be a good friend to her without being hung up on her.

__________

The first few days in LA on my own were weird. I had always been around Flo and having this time working with her but from the other side of the country, is strange. But I soon get into a routine and start to focus on myself a bit more. I start going to the gym and eating better. I'm really starting to feel good about myself and the more days that pass the less I'm thinking of Scarlett.

Flo contacted me after being away for a week to inform me that Hailee is back in LA and would like to meet up. She shares my number with her, and I end up getting a text from her 5 minutes after hanging up from Flo. She works fast!

Over the next few weeks, I spend a lot of time with Hailee. She is so sweet and hilariously funny. I really enjoy spending time with her, and we've gone on some interesting dates. Flo is super excited as she gets the gossip from both sides and is even more excited when I tell her that Hailee will be coming to New York for a few weeks for work, so we arrange to all go out together.

Whilst Hailee and I are having lunch together at a local Italian, she looks up to me a little nervously. "Everything ok?" I ask her and she nods. "Yeah. I um. Just have a question for you." She stutters a little. I nod encouragingly, smiling to show her I'm listening. "Kevin Feige is setting up this charity gala in New York. There are loads of the cast from different Marvel movies attending. I was wondering if you would like to be my date?" She asks me through a wave of confidence.

"I would love to." I respond a little too quickly, but Hailee doesn't seem to care as her eyes go wide. "Really?!" She asks and I nod. "Yeah. I'd be stupid to say no to getting to turn up with a beautiful lady on my arm." I flirt, making her blush. "Amazing, I'll get my team to sort it all out." She says excitedly, reaching out to take my hand.

After extending my stay in LA for another week, I finally return to New York. I've kept in contact with Scarlett whilst I've been away, but she's been busy, helping me in creating the needed distance. I definitely feel like I'm in a better position to see her again. Although Hailee and I are only friends at the moment, she's brought a new happiness to my life and even if she's just a new friend, she's helped me more than she knows.

I'm only home for about 4 hours when there's a knock at my door. I know it's not Flo as she's out of town for a couple of days. But I'm also not surprised when I see Scarlett smiling excitedly, a bottle of wine in her hand. She instantly pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank God your home. You're never allowed to be gone for so long again." She tells me firmly, letting herself into my apartment, making her way into the kitchen and grabbing two glasses.

We spend the evening catching up and I can see how far I've come. Looking at Scarlett, I know there are some feelings still under the surface, but I know I'm on my way to getting over her. I actually enjoy myself, seeing that our friendship is intact and I hope that it continues that way.

"So, Y/n/n I was hoping you'd be my plus one for a charity Gala next week. I wanted to ask you earlier, but I also wanted to ask you face to face." She tells me with a smile, but it drops when she sees my frown. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm actually already going with someone else." I tell her. "Oh, is Charlie not able to go with Flo?" She asks but I shake my head. "I'm actually going with Hailee." I tell her and I'm sure I see pain flash across her face.

"Steinfeld?" She asks and I nod. "Yeah, we've been getting to know each other in LA." I tell her. She gulps a little and forces a smile on her face. "Are you dating?" She questions. "Not really. Well, maybe kind of. We've just been spending time together. Flo introduced us." I explain. "Hmm. I'll be talking with her." She mumbles. I don't think she realises that she says that out loud, but I let it slide. "Well, at least I'll get to see you there." She says, forcing that fake smile again.

The rest of the night feels a little awkward. Is she unhappy that I'm unable to go with her. I mean, I'm only ever there for her until she finds the person that she wants to head home with. At least this time, I'll be with someone that wants me there with them entirely.

___________

The night of the gala comes around quickly. Hailee and I get ready together at my apartment as she doesn't have a property in New York. It's quite relaxed, even though there are about 10 strangers in my home, getting us, all made up for the night.

We meet with Flo and Charlie to go into the gala together. Hailee holds her arm out to me and I link with her. "Shall we." She smiles, scrunching up her nose at me. "After you Miss Steinfeld." I return. We take our time taking photos along the red carpet. It's strange being in the photos like this. Normally, I stand back as Scarlett has her photos taken. But Hailee has her arm tightly around me, only letting me go when her manager insists she needs solo photos.

As we reach the end of the carpet, I hear Scarlett's name being called and turn to see her walking down the red carpet on her own. She's killing it and the crowd are eating it up to see her going solo. I smile, seeing her doing so well, but turn back to Hailee, giving her my full attention.

When we get into the hall, we find our table and I see that Scarlett is sat next to me. Also on our table are Flo, Lizzie and Seb. As I'm pulling out Hailee's chair for her, I hear the familiar raspy voice from beside me. "Always the gentlewoman is Y/n." She smiles.

I turn and give her a hug in greeting. "You look lovely Scarlett." I tell her and she returns the compliment. "Have you met Hailee before?" I ask. "Very briefly, but it's lovely to see you again." She says, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Dinner is actually really fun. There is live music through the night, an auction and a couple of speeches to talk about the cause they're supporting. We're having a good time on our table and the drinks are flowing. I notice that Scarlett is looking fiercely at Hailee and I. But each time I make eye contact, she smiles and lets the façade drop.

The last musical act of the night is Niall Horan. He's great but I see that Hailee becomes more uncomfortable. Then I remember that they broke up not too long ago. I lean into her and place my arm around her shoulder. "Are you ok?" I ask quietly and she nods. "Yeah. Just haven't seen him in a while." She admits. "Do you want a drink?" I ask and she nods. "Yeah, let's go." She smiles, taking my hand and leading me off to the bar. I can feel Scarlett's eyes on me as we walk away but I ignore it. Focusing on Hailee in this moment.

Whilst we're at the bar, I hear an Irish accent and Hailee freezes. She looks at me and I smile, taking an exaggerated breath which she copies. She then turns around and greets Niall. "This is Y/n." She introduces me after they have a short hug. "Pleasure to meet you." He smiles, holding his hand out to me. I take it and smile in return. "You too."

There is an awkward silence and I suddenly feel like I'm the odd one out. "Could we uh. Maybe talk?" Niall asks and Hailee stutters at the request, turning to look at me. "Go on, I'll take our drinks to the table." I tell her and she smiles gratefully. "Thanks Y/n." She replies, placing a kiss to my cheek and following Niall.

I return to the table and Flo looks at me with a confused look. "Where's Hailee?" She asks. "Uh. Niall wanted to talk to her." I inform her and she looks shocked. "Oh." Is all she says. "Yeah. Oh." I say back. There are clearly feelings still between them and I'm expecting the inevitable to happen.

"Where are the others?" I ask, not lingering on the subject of Hailee. "On the dance floor." She replies, pointing in their direction. Lizzie and Seb are dancing like idiots whilst Scarlett is dancing with a man I don't recognise. Probably her conquest for the night.

"Shall we join them?" She asks and I nod, downing my drink, wanting to dance with my sister. We join the others and Scarlett's eyes flick to me and then around us. I'm not sure what she's looking for, but whatever it is, makes her leave the arms of the mystery man to join us in a group dance.

I let myself go, not dwelling on the disaster that is my love life. In this moment, I'm having a great time dancing with everyone. It's nice actually having this time with Scarlett too. She's giving far more attention than she normally does. I wonder if Flo has told her the whole Hailee thing and she's feeling sorry for me.

My happiness doesn't last for long though when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I see Hailee with a guilty look on her face. She nods her head to the side of the dance floor, and I follow her. Feeling Flo and Scarlett's gaze on us. "I'm really sorry." Hailee rushes out but I stop her. "It's ok. You still have feelings for him." I answer for her. "H-how did you know?" She asks shocked. "I could see it. It's quite obvious." I chuckle. "Oh. I didn't mean for this to happen. I really do like you." She says but I can tell it's conflicted.

"It's really ok. We aren't together. It was nice being able to spend time with you." I reassure her, but it doesn't stop tears falling down her cheeks. "Why are you being so kind?" She asks. "There's nothing to be angry about. As long as you're happy, that's what matters." I respond, and she pulls me into a tight hug. "I'd love to still be friends with you. You've really brought some light to my life." She says, almost with a pleading look. "Friends it is." I smile, holding my hand out jokingly. She takes it and shakes it laughing. "Now go find your man." I instruct her.

She looks at me once more, almost like she's checking that I'm ok. When she sees what she's looking for, she turns around and I watch as she makes her way to Niall. Not feeling like staying around anymore, I head to find Flo, who's with Charlie on the dance floor.

When I reach her, she looks at me with a sympathetic look. "Well?" She asks, although I'm sure she already knows. "It seems like I'm never destined to be more than friends." I chuckle coldly. "Oh Y/n/n. You deserve so much more." She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. "Maybe one day. But right now. I think I want to head home." I say and she nods. "Of course. We can come take you." She offers but I shake my head.

"No. Stay you're having fun. I can just grab a cab. I'll text you when I'm home" I reassure her. "Ok. If, you're sure. Please be careful." She says, placing a kiss to my cheek. I say goodbye to Charlie and Lizzie and ask Flo to tell Scarlett that I've headed home. Assuming that she's off with that guy from earlier.

Scarlett's POV:

Seeing Y/n hand in hand with Hailee was a pain I did not enjoy feeling. The jealousy built up within me, but I forced a fake smile on my face. When she told me she was going to be her plus one, it broke my heart. I love going to events like this with Y/n. She's so much fun and I feel like I can be completely myself around her.

I had developed feelings for her about a year ago, but I knew she was off limits being Flo's sister. Though seeing her tonight, I think I need a conversation with Flo. I don't think I can see Y/n date someone else. It would break me.

When she and Flo joined us on the dance floor, I looked around to see where Hailee was, but I couldn't see her which was odd. What I did notice was the change in demeanour from Y/n. I know her like the back of my hand, and I can tell when her feelings change. Has Hailee hurt her? If she has, I'm going to be having words.

When Hailee returns, I glare at her and watch intently as Y/n follows her off the dance floor. "Easy there you might kill her with that glare." Flo laughs at me. "You know, if you like her, you should just tell her. Stop fucking around with randoms and get your act together for her." She calls me out and I look at her shocked. "Come on, your feelings for her are pretty obvious. No matter how many people you sleep with, it won't change that. But you should know, you're going to lose her if you don't sort it out." Flo warns me.

"I uh. That's not what's going on. Besides, she's your sister." I try to defend weekly, and she just laughs loudly. "That doesn't bother me. As long as you're both happy that's all that matters. But I'm telling you now, if you decide to go there, you better not hurt her anymore. I won't take seeing her sad." She threatens lightly. "Wait, what do you mean anymore?" I question, which makes Flo's eyes go wide.

"Flo?" I question lowly but she just looks around her for an escape, which comes in the guise of Charlie, who she quickly pulls into her for a heated kiss. "Ok, wow. No need to eat his face. I don't need to see this." I say with a scrunched up face. I turn and make my way to the bathroom.

I splash some water on my face and try to psych myself up. "Come on Johansson. Just bite the bullet and tell her how you feel." I give myself a pep talk, looking at myself in the mirror. I need to do this before it's too late and her and Hailee are together.

With a wave of confidence, I make my way out of the bathroom on the hunt for Y/n. I catch the back of her and see her leaving. I run towards Flo in a panic. "Where's she going?" I ask her, worried I'm about to miss my opportunity. "She's heading home" Flo replies, a sad look on her face as she watches after her sister. "What about Hailee?" I ask but she simply points towards the bar where she's in the arms of Niall.

It makes my blood boil to know she's hurt her. It takes all of me to not head over there and give her a piece of my mind for hurting my best friend. "If you're quick, you might be able to catch her." Flo smirks at me. I don't think, instead, I rush off in pursuit of Y/n.

When I get outside, I see her propped against the wall, clearly waiting for a taxi. I take a deep breath and slowly walk over to her, resting on the wall next to her. "I'm sorry." I say, not really sure how to approach the situation. "It's ok. I'm used to leaving these sorts of things on my own." She chuckles dryly. "What's that supposed to mean?" I ask her. She's normally at these things with me.

"Oh, come on Scar. I'm normally getting a taxi after you've headed back home with whoever you've decided you want to sleep with that night." She responds with a bite to her tone. "Come on, that's not fair." I defend but she rolls her eyes. "When was the last time we left something like this together?" She asks me. My mouth just opens and closes as I try to find the answer, but it doesn't come to me.

"There's my cab, I better go." She says whilst I'm still lost in my head. But before she can walk away, I grab her arm and pull her into me. I don't even think, and I press my lips against hers. It takes her by shock and takes a moment before she starts to kiss me back. Her lips are soft, and I feel fireworks ignite in my stomach. But as she starts to sink into the kiss, she suddenly pulls away.

"NO!" She shouts as she pushes me away. "What?" I ask her shocked at her response. Oh God, have I totally misread this situation? I was sure she had feelings in return. "I will not be another notch on your bed post." She yells at me, her hands rising to her hair. "God, every time we come to these, I have to see you leave with some random person who you inevitably kick out and never see again. I force myself to come with you under the hope that maybe one day you might see that I'm here, right in front of you, and can give you what you've been looking for. But instead, I torture myself each time." She rants, angry at both me and herself.

She starts to pace, and I step in front of her to stop her. "Please stop pacing and listen to me." I try to get her attention. But she tries to walk around me towards the taxi. I manage to stop her and wave the taxi off, much to Y/n's annoyance. "Scarlett, that was my ride home." She exhales whilst glaring at me.

"Just stop and let me talk and I'll make sure you get home. Please." I practically beg her. She looks at me and sighs, nodding, indicating for me to go ahead. "You're right. I've been an ass, bringing you along and ditching you when I find someone to leave with. But you have to understand I only did that because I am madly in love with you and thought that you were out of reach." I admit.

She looks at me in complete shock. "No. This is some sort of joke." She tries to deny it, but I grip her arms a little tighter. "I didn't think that Flo would allow me to date you. So, I pushed my feelings down and tried to forget about you. But I never could." I share, embarrassed to admit that I chose to cope in this way.

"When I broke up with Colin, it hit me hard, not because I wasn't with him anymore. But because it became more obvious that I wasn't going to be able to avoid my feelings for you. So, I did what I do best and slept around so I could at least numb that feeling for a while." Tears start to build in my eyes as I admit my deepest feelings for Y/n.

I know that this is my only chance with her. I may miss any chance of being with her and may even ruin our friendship. I look at her, hoping to see any response or get an understanding for how she's feeling. But for the first time in a long time, I can't. Everything I've learnt about her, is wasted in this moment. "I was selfish. I didn't want to lose our friendship. Instead of being truthful, I dragged you along, pretending that I didn't know the pain it was causing you." I confess, ashamed of it.

"Please, just know that I do truly love you. I would do anything to have a chance to prove that to you. I don't think I can live this life without you in it. Please just tell me I have a chance." I plead, taking her hand in mine. She doesn't pull it away which gives me some comfort. "Scarlett, I don't know. I've tried so hard to move on from you." She says, pain lacing her voice. "That's why you stayed in LA?" I finally realise and she nods.

"It hurt when you would flirt with me and treat me like I was the only person in the room, to just ditch me at the first sign of someone else." She shares her feelings, and I can see how much damage I've caused. "I am so sorry that I made you feel like that. I wish I had just had the confidence to admit my feelings in the first place. I could have saved us both a lot of pain." I sigh.

"Y/n, please let me try to make this up to you. Even if it's just as friends. As much as that will hurt." I plead, hoping she'll give me a chance. She looks at me, her eyes darting between my own. She lets out a long sigh and shakes her head. "I'm going to regret this." She mumbles to herself, before lifting her head to look at me. "Ok, but we need to go slow. I want to know that you're 100% in this." She responds, making my heart sore.

"Of course, Y/n. I will do everything in my power to show you my true intention. We'll go at your pace, and I will make sure that I have clear communication with you. Thank you for giving me a chance. I won't waste it." I thank her, taking her other hand in mine, my smile growing with happy tears falling. "Can I start by taking you on a date?" I ask her nervously. "I'd like that." She responds shyly, which makes my heart flutter. She's so cute.

"Perfect, I'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow. Wear something comfy. I'm going to pamper you." I tell her through a big smile. "Someone's eager." She chuckles. "I've wasted too much time. I'm not wasting anymore." I tell her, our gaze locking on each other. I want nothing more than to kiss her, but I know I need to take this slow and do this right. Hopefully if the date tomorrow goes well, I'll get to kiss her then.

"Come on, I'll take you home." I tell her, directing her towards my driver. I hold the door open for her and she slides in. When I get in next to her, I take her hand in mine. The ride to her apartment is silent, but it's not awkward.

When we pull up outside her building, I get out to walk her to her door. "Thank you for giving me another chance Y/n. I promise I'll make this up to you." I thank her, feeling a relief that hopefully we're on the right track now. "Don't mess this up Johansson." She smiles at me, opening her door. "Oh, trust me. I don't plan to." I smirk, waving to her as she goes to shut the door. "See you tomorrow." She smiles, lingering for a moment. "See you tomorrow, Pugh." I grin, walking back towards the elevator.

As soon as the door shuts, my whole body relaxes. I can't believe she agreed. The smile is plastered on my face, with no plans on leaving anytime soon. As I make my way home, I think of how I can give her the perfect date. I want it to be everything that she deserves. Because I know that Y/n is it for me. There is no one else in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just need to prove that to her and this date will be the first step to doing that. 

[milswrites]

We can't be friends

Cassian X Reader

Summary: Cassian had been distant. While he was still physically present around you, it was easy to see his mind was elsewhere. When you learn of the reason why this rift has appeared between you, you must make the difficult decision to step away from the man you once loved.

Warnings: Angsttttt

Notes: We've had our Rhysand breakup angst, it’s now time for Cassian's!!! Anyone else had Ariana Grande’s new album on their mind like 24/7? Stole the name from her song lol.

Cassian’s mind was wandering again. You could see it. Able to tell that he wasn’t mentally present by his blank expression and misty absent-minded gaze. His usually bright hazel eyes bore a dull film, as if someone had draped a cloudy vail over them.

You needn’t ask him what he was thinking of. Who he was thinking of. It had been clear enough to you that his thoughts had been occupied by the eldest Acheron sister from the moment he had met her in the mortal realm.

He would deny it of course, every time you brought the topic up with him he would spit some venomous comment about her poor attitude and the lack of love she held for her younger sister.

But you needn’t be a seer to observe what was going on here. It was as through fate that you had been cruelly blessed with the ability to see the golden thread which tied him to the woman.

Whether Nesta was oblivious to the bond or was just opting to ignore it you did not know. But you were sure Cassian knew. In fact you had never been more positive of anything in your life.

What you couldn’t understand was why would Cassian go about his life as though the bond wasn’t there? Why, at the end of each night, would he come back to your chambers to warm your bed?

The male continuing to crawl into your sheets after a long days work, whispering sweet nothings into your ears as he cradled you to sleep, acting as though nothing was different. As though you couldn’t feel the grating presence of the bond.

Most nights you stayed awake as the man slept beside you. Your miserable eyes trailing along the length of the golden cord, following the string as it wound its way out of your room. No doubt if you followed it’s path you would end up right outside the door of Nesta’s flat.

So why was Cassian still drifting you along even though he had met his mate? And how much longer would you have to wait before the inevitable occurred?

These thoughts had plagued your mind for the past few weeks. Eating away at you as they slowly stole your happiness. Instead, an odd feeling of guilt wracked your body. The evil whisper of your conscience telling you that you were the third-wheel. The one thing stopping Cassian from being with his mate. That you should do the noble thing and end your relationship. That it was what he would want.

You defensively hiss back at your demons whenever they took a hold of your mind, reassuring yourself that Cassian loved you. That he still chose to warm your bed every night. Silently hoping that the only reason he hadn’t told you about the bond was because he didn’t want to worry you. That he didn’t want you to question the unwavering affection he held for you.

And yet you always found yourself back here.

In the company of the male whose mind was in another place. With another person. Finding yourself once more having a one sided conversation with yourself. Cassian only occasionally offering up a small grunt of acknowledgement.

His glazed eyes which stayed locked on your form, no doubt imagining a different view. A picture of the woman he was dreaming about. A woman that wasn’t you.

It began to feel like there was a ghost in your relationship. Only you couldn’t figure out whether it was you or Cassian.

Cassian who had become a shell of the man he had once been around you.

Or you, who now struggled to be both heard and seen by the man you had devoted the last three centuries of your life to.

The once overwhelming surge of radiating joy had dimmed. A candle, struggling to stay alight as it consumed the last dregs of fuel from the wick. The flame between the two of you now fading into a dull flicker.

Your heart no longer skipped a beat whenever you saw the male. Instead it weighed heavy in your chest, as if clamped by a strong metal hand, choking the last remnants of happiness from your soul, flooding your body with a terrible sense of dread.

This wasn’t the way you wanted to live.

You knew that much. You were smart enough to know that you didn’t want to be the second option. The afterthought, even though you had known the male longer, had loved him for longer.

Therefore you knew what had to be done. Yet after sharing three hundred joyous years with the male you couldn’t be blamed for struggling to find the strength to do it.

~~~~~

But you could feel it now. The strength seeping into your body, fighting to share the room alongside your agony and grief. Mourning your relationship before it has even come to a close.

It was hard to ignore the way your hands had begun to shake. Nor the drying of your throat as you blurted out the words before you could stop yourself and cowardly continue on with the relationship which had began to drain you of the last of your happiness.

“We need to talk.”

The words came out thick and heavy. The change in the tone of your voice from your monotonous dialogue to this statement being enough to capture Cassian’s attention. The absent clouds drifting from his eyes until your determined ones were met with his hazel orbs.

“I thought we were talking?”

The male gulped as he spoke, clearly feeling the unsettling aura which filled the room. All your years together being enough for Cassian to know the gravity of what you were about to say.

“Why are you still here Cas? With me?”

“W-what?” He stuttered in answer, your eyes searching his as you tried to distinguish whether he knew what it was you were talking about. Fear building in your chest at the realisation you were going to have to say it yourself before this conversation led to nothing.

“Nesta, Cassian. The bond.”

He didn’t know. All this time he had been unaware of your silent heartbreak. You saw the truth of it in the way his face dropped, the extinguishing of the spark in his eyes.

“How long?” He gulped, guilt crossing his expression as he forced the words out. His cheeks flushing in shame that he hadn’t been the one to tell you.

“Weeks? Months? Long enough to question why you’re still with me.”

Cassian didn’t know what to say. He started at you with a crushing remorse, the glint of love in his eyes doing nothing to reduce your pain.

“I’m not a fool Cas,” you smiled sadly at your own unfortunate situation, his name catching in your throat as you reached your hand forwards to lay atop of his, “you want to be with her, I know that.”

A pained look flashed across his face, his eyes burning with self-hatred failing to meet yours in his regret. You allowed him the time for his emotions to settle, sitting in silence as you continued to grip his hand.

Eventually, once his flood of shame subsided, Cassian found the words to speak, “All I’ve ever known is you. All I’ve ever loved. I’ve never known anything else.”

“I know Cas” you flinched at the earnesty which laced his words. Cassian had never given you any reason to believe he didn’t love you. Even now, when his heart was calling to another, you still felt the outpouring of love from his soul.

“It’s not fair,” he grit through his teeth angrily, “you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me. I’m the one who can’t control my feelings, my thoughts which dream of another. You don’t deserve this.”

“I don’t” you said simply. Your face remaining blank as tears began to fall down the males cheeks. You have had months to cry about your lost love, there would be no more tears shed by you. Not now, not when your well had run dry.

“We can still be friends though right? You’ve been in my life for so long I can’t imagine it without you” he choked the words out as if he wasn’t the one who had already ended things between you. He never had to say the words to you, his actions and his heart did all the talking for him.

“No Cas,” you shake your head solemnly, “we can’t be friends.”

The male looked to you in shock, his eyes blowing wide as he took in the force of your words. What this would mean for the two of you, for your future together. Or lack thereof.

“It’s not fair Cas,” you reason, giving his hands a gentle squeeze, emotions still holding firm in the face of adversity, “not to me and not to Nesta. We both know what needs to be done. We both have for a while.”

“But I love you” he fights your calm demeanour, his watery eyes staring into yours with an intensity, begging you to take back the words you were saying.

“We can’t go back to being us Cas, it’s too late for that. The damage has been done,” you lift your free hand to settle against his cheek, thumb wiping away the downpour of tears, “but with Nesta, with your mate, you have a chance. You should go for it. Follow your heart.”

“I’ll never forget you” he stubbornly argues, adamant that he can have everything he wants. Nesta by his side and you in his life. His love blinding him, allowing his selfish wishes to be spoken aloud.

“I think for both our sakes forgetting each other may be our best option baby.”

You couldn’t help it, the silver tear which escaped your eye, betraying the cold emotions you were trying to display on the outside, your thumb still caressing his cheeks as your eyes flittered across his face. Taking in everything that was Cassian for what would be the last time.

“That’s what I’m going to do,” you cried, “I’m sorry Cas but it’s the only way. I have to forget.”

It was the acceptance that was the hardest part of all. The admission that while you weren’t Cassian’s once in a lifetime, he was yours. And it was your love for him that would allow you to let him go. Your will for him to be happy, outweighing the pain of seeing him in another woman’s arms.

[xjulixred45x]

I'm trying to be active again and i though: "what could be a better way of coming Back from the Dead than a critique to the soap opera that has become Helluva Boss?"

So here we are. My personal Critique to the episodes Ghost Fuckers and Mastermind.

I'll be honest, i saw both of them in one sit bc i delay seeing Ghost Fuckers SO MUCH that IN THAT TIME Mastermind come out, then i realized i could't keep doing that and accept my fate(seeing the episodes when i was doing nothing importart and Home alone).

AND GOOOOOOOD-

First of all, Ghost Fuckers.

The first half, absolutly GROSS and incredible out of character for many characters.

I liked Millie A LOT in this Episode bc she represented how i was feeling trough this first half, CONFUSED AS HELL AND MAD AT THE BAD DIRECTION OF THE BOSS(vivziepop).

I get it, we are suposse to see this reaction of Blitz as natural and that affect him a Lot, BUT:1-that wasn't Even a BREAKUP(i'll talk of it later) and 2- it's super out of character for BLITZ OF ALL PEOPLE.

if You tell me that Stolas is neglecting His duties after what happen, yeah, i can believe that, BUT BLITZ? The one who all motivación trough the seasons was to keep His business AND employees aflot is not only neglecting His job BUT ALSO USING THE MONEY OF SAID JOB (THAT HE HIMSELF SAID WAS IN CONSTANT RISK OF BANKKRUP) FOR IMPULSIVE PURCHASES???

What the actual Hell.

Even Loona just allowing this and doing what Blitz told her to do feels strange, that's HER PAY TOO, and she just dosen't care or dosen't understand what is happening??

Moxxie is My spiritual animal when i was doing Homework from Collage. The only joke that i find funny in this Episode. Believe me kids, there's nothing more scary than BANKKRUPSY.

Also, seeing that most of our own knolege from Hell is based on Blitz since the Start, it's feels so strange and incrongruent that he still insist on the Ghost theme. Specially when he likes to make fun of humans for those kind of things.

The whole secuence of Spooky Kind of Love just have me...there.

And we got to the second half! Where i have more problems Even though is the Best party of the episode.

Millie blows up and tells Blitz what we all want to Say, he gets offended for no reason, they get diferent ways, Blitz starts allucinate bc of the infester demon, making Even more OBVIOUS His insecurities. Again. For i don't know how many times.

Millie finds him and she tries to make him see that he dosen't destroy everything by remembering how they meet. It was actually a pretty cool scene. We Even get to see more of Millie when she first got out of Wrath, her insecurities, how she was at the job, when they get the IMP Bulding, etc.

Half a point for the develomp to Millie(TWO SEASONS LATE).

they find the demon and he posses(?) Blitz for some reason, and meanwhile Possesed Blitz tries to kill Millie, Blitz has to revive His traumas AGAIN. For GOD sake just leave him alone FOR FIVE MINUTES--

Millie kick His ass, they kill the demon, finished the job, the end.

This is the Best example of the Main problem of Helluva: His Tone problem.

The first half and the shorts, for example, are the characteristic humor of Helluva we are used to, that the people want to see, and just a little bit of lore. And that works ALONE, it's funny, it's dynamyc.

BUT THEN they spit lots and lots of Lore in our faces, Mysteries, Flashbacks, Angst, comfort, ALL IN THE OTHER HALF, and it's TOO MUCH.

Those halfs work on their own, but not togheter. That's the Main problem. And Vivziepop dosen't decide which one want to prevail.

NOW, MASTERMIND

Which of MASTERMIND only has the title

WHY ANDREALPHUS KEEP SAYING THAT HIS SISTER IS HOT?!? SPECIALLY IN A CONTEXT LIKE THAT???!

Stella could have been waaayyy more better for this Episode than him honestly, maybe hiding the fact that Stolas was doing something ilegal SO she can personally report him and make a case as she as the poor Woman who was cheated on(which is not a lie-) and have all the assets of Stolas for HERSELF.

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MORE INTERESTING THAN THE GAY PEACKOWT. But WELL.

The dementors from Harry Potter go to arrest IMP, and they have a trial where Andre says that "Blitzo force himself on Stolas to take possesion of the book" which was funny for me bc is sounded just like the Stolas Stans🤣

They got Striker! He's fine! But he lies saying that Blitz is the one who wanted Stolas Dead(which is another thing that bothers me, WHY WOULD STRIKER HELP THE GOETIA WITH HOW MUCH HE SAYS TO HATE THEM??) and Blitz tries to defend himself saying that if he wanted Stolas Dead he could do it HIMSELF(good point thoug)

Blitz is sentenced to DEATH and is LIVE STREAMED IN ALL RINGS OF HELL AS A LESSON OF NOT GOING AGAINST THE LAWS OF SATAN.

But then Stolas appear and instead of explaning himself like a normal fucking person he starts to sing. I didn't listen to the Song, to much Cringe in one sit. But Stolas take all of Blitz Blame.

BUT OF COURSE SATAN WOULD'T EXCECUTE A ROYAL BC AND I QUOTE "YOUR LIFE HAS ACTUAL VALUE" ARE TOU FUCKING KIDDING ME--

Instead they take away His assets and legions and passed them to... Andre (which is weird, wasn't supposed to be Via? Andre Say it HIMSELF in a previous Ep. But WELL, i'm searching for LOGIC in this show-) and Stolas has to live like a normal Hell citizen for 100 years.

Bascically just turn him into a normal person.

The good side is that the imps start admiring and hiring IMP services more, Even seeing Blitz as a hero for standing to Satán(and honestly good for him).

Stolas dosen't have anywhere to live anymore so Blitz takes pity and they go to His place, he Even bathes him and gives him clothes.

THIS FACE

Brings me so mucho JOY.

and the fact that Blitz it's giving him SPACE, GIVING HIM A PLACE TO STAY, AND COMFORT AND HIS WORST MOMENT, KNOWING THAT STOLAS WOULD'T DO THE SAME FOR BLITZ(bc he NEVER has done it as far as we are in the series), ITS JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHG-

I'll pretend the episode ends here, thank You very much.

CONCLUSION:

Episode 10 just make Even more visible the HUGE tone problem with the series, Vivzie dosen't Even know what she want in the series, if it is a comedy or a melodrama. And it end up wasting great opportunities to develomp her characters in each case.

Not only that, but that the torment to Blitz has to STOP, SERIOUSLY, the writers love to make him SUFFER but at the same time we don't confirm ANYTHING, it's a stupid attempt to generate "intrige" and to extend this series Even more. At the price of it's own protagonist.

3/10

Episode 11 feels like Fanservice with a Lot of unnecesary drama. And convenience of the script.

WHY are there the other sins?? Why nobody besides Vasago asked about Stolas or quesrioned Andre?? How could't Stolas Know about the whole trial things before?? WHY THEY ARE SINGING??

And of COURSE, the lesson of the day with this Episode is that if You are power class and Disobay, You get EXCECUTED, but if youre a Royal, You just have to pay taxes now. Fucking. GENIUS. VIVZIEPOP.

5/10( only for Stella and the Scenes with IMP)

Overall, just a soap opera i would recomend if You turn off Your brain.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: SEUNGMIN X READER ☾ ━━━ PROMPTS: A9 "do i look like i moved on?" + N8 "i'll let you do anything if you just touch me right now." ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: RIGHT PERSON; WRONG TIME, MAKE-UP SEX, HAIR PULLING, HAND JOB, FINGERING, MARKING, PROTECTED SEX ☾ ━━━ WC: 1.9K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     Not everything worked out. That’s what Y/n kept telling herself. 

     She and Seungmin broke up six months ago. Life just wasn't kind to either of them during their time together. Work was a mess for her and him being an idol and touring, nothing was working out. But it was a hard six months. 

     Especially without talking until he reached out one day and asked if she wanted to talk. She thought everything was fine till she saw him. Shoved in a hoodie and a face mask to hide himself. Y/n giggled a bit at his appearance before walking to the booth he had taken in the corner of the coffee shop. Two drinks on the table. 

     “Hey,” Y/n said as he looked up from his phone.

     “Hey. Ordered you fav,” He said as she took a seat across from him

     “You still remember it?” Y/n half joked

     “Why wouldn’t I?” 

     That made her heart flutter. Six months of no contact and he still remembered things about her. 

     “How’s work?” Y/n asked him

     “Still busy. Getting ready for comeback,” Seungmin sighed, “How’s your work.”

     “Calmed down. Things are a bit easier and I got that promotion.”

     “I’m proud of you. You deserve it.”

     “Thanks. How have you been?”

     “Okay, I guess? I’ve had better days,” Seungmin pulled his mask down to sip his Americano

     “Have you moved on?” The words came out before she could stop them. Both of them just looked at each other for a moment. 

     “Do I look like I moved on?” He asked 

     “I haven’t either…”

     That hung in the air. Neither said anything as they finished their drinks. Only the occasional question about something random. Eventually, they got up to leave and Seungmin offered to walk her home.

     Wanting to spend as much time as he could with her. Selfishly so. Comeback right around the corner, it was busy, before and after. He wanted to try again, that’s why he reached out. He missed her. 

     They weren't perfect, no relationship was. But he knew when they first got together that he wanted her by his side, no matter what. Six months felt like years and he tried his best not to let it show how much the breakup was affecting him. He knew the guys knew it hurt him, but he didn't let anything get in the way of work. 

     He finally broke down and ended up ranting to the rest of his bandmates who were more than supportive of him reaching out and trying to see where she stood and if rekindling the relationship was possible. So he silently walked with her back to her apartment, trying to think of something— anything— to say. Feeling bad when they got to her door and he hadn’t said anything. He was the one who asked to talk to her and their conversation ended when they both established that they hadn’t moved on from each other. Six months later.

     “Do you wanna come in, Min?” Y/n offered

     “Yeah,” Seungmin smiled at her before they both went inside.

     He had been to her apartment so many times before but it felt so weird standing in her entryway. He slipped off the face mask and his hood, shaking his hair out and letting it fall back into place perfectly. Y/n looked at him the whole time. He still made her weak to her knees.

     They made it over to her couch and just sat there. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable but not comfortable fully. Y/n picked at one of her throw pillows, both trying to find something to say.

     “I’m sorry,” Seungmin finally said

     “It’s okay Min. We weren’t in a good place when we were together.” Y/n answered

     “I know, but… I don’t know.”

     “Why did you want to talk today?”

     Seungmin tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling before looking over at her. “I missed you. A lot. I could barely focus at work, wondering if you ate the day, got enough sleep, and if that co-worker you hated was still bothering you. The last six months felt like absolute hell without talking to you. I’m pretty sure there were a couple of times I woke up thinking you were next to me and when I realized you weren’t, I just kind of broke down…”

     Y/n felt her tears pricking her lash line. Sniffling a bit, “She is still bothering me,” Y/n laughed, “I missed you too, Min. The first week was hard for me. It was better for a bit but then I was still getting all the fan edits on social media and there wasn't any way I could let you go.”

     “I know we are having a moment and you're about to cry but you look really pretty and I wanna kiss you.” Leave it to Kim Seungmin to say randomly that made her heart flutter

     “I’ll let you do anything if you touch me right now,” Y/n blurted out

     “Anything?” Seungmin asked 

     Y/n nodded her head and Seungmin crashed his lips onto hers. She didn't even register him moving as he was slowly pushing her back on the couch. Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck as her lips moved in sync with his. Both were desperate to feel the other's lips after months of being apart. The kiss getting more and more desperate and heated. 

     “Min,” Y/n mumbled against his lips before he shoved her tongue down her throat. 

     Y/n moaned into his mouth as she tugged his hair. He didn't dare move away from her till he ran out of breath. Looking down at her, lips all puffy from kissing. “Tell me to stop, Y/n,” His lips attached to her neck, “Need you so fucking badly, in every sense of the word.”

     “I won’t,” Y/n told him as she pulled him up to look at her, “I need you too.”

     “Fuck,” Seungmin groaned, slamming his lips onto hers again. 

     Both moaning into the kiss and Seungmin grinding his hips into hers. Y/n could feel his erection through his jeans, pressing into her. “Fuck me Min. Please,” Y/n said between kisses

     “Take me back. Let me be a better boyfriend this time,” Seungmin said, pulling away from her lips, “Let me fuck my girlfriend and not my ex.”

     “Yes, the answer is always yes, Min.” Something about the way he said it had her pussy fluttering.

     Seungmin smiled and kissed her again. Hands grabbing her hips to hold her still as he grinded into her more. Y/n easily managed to coax him off the couch and drag him to her room. Seungmin stripped himself of his hoodie before pinning her down onto the bed. 

     Hands working in a frenzy to throw off all their clothing. Letting it land in random places in her room till they were fully exposed to each other. Their hands didn't stop once the clothing was off. Needing to feel each other in every way possible. 

     Y/n trailed one of her hands down his stomach and wrapped her fingers around his hard cock. Seungmin moaned into her neck where his lips were currently marking her skin. Y/n worked her hand up and down on him as his fingers made their way between her legs. Slowly rubbing circles into her clit. 

     Slowly his fingers moved down to her entrance and collected her slick before pushing inside. Slowly working her open for him as he pulled his lips away from her neck to look down between them. Y/n threaded her free hand into his hair. 

     His thumb rubbed across her clit as he kissed up her neck and landed on her lips again. Y/n moaned into his mouth as he pushed deeper into her. Both somehow falling into the same pace and stimulating the other.

     “Need to be in you,” Seungmin groaned as he pulled his fingers out of her and moves her hand away from his cock so he didn't blow. 

     “Min,” Y/n whined at the loss of stimulation as he grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer.

     “I’ve got months of making up to do bubs,” Seungmin tore open the wrapper and rolled the rubber on “I’ll make you come all night if that's what you want.”

     Seungmin spread her legs open and lined himself up at her entrance. He leaned over her as he slowly slid into her. Y/n grabbed on his arms as her walls parted making way for him. He took his time to sink into her, letting her warmth wrap around him till he was fully inside her. 

     Seungmin leaned down and kissed her again. Moving down to support himself on his forearms as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. Pulling him as close as possible, needing to be enveloped by him entirely. 

     Slowly he pulled back and pushed back in. Building up his pace as their lips moved together. The idol pushed his tongue into her mouth as his pace sped up. His hips slamming into hers as she moaned into his mouth. She was positive her eyes would’ve rolled into the back of her head if her eyes weren’t closed. 

     Sex was rare for them the first time they were together. Schedules made it difficult to even see each other but when they were together, Y/n was never unsatisfied. How could she be when the man above her always paid attention to her pleasure.

     Eventually pulling away from the kiss the catch their breath— seemingly more difficult for Y/n as Seungmin just knocked the air from her lungs with his dick. Her fingers gripping at his back. Seungmin moved up onto his hands, using the leverage to move quicker.

     “Min, more.” Y/n moaned

     “Whatever you want bubs.” Seungmin smiled as he moved one of his hands from the mattress and rubbed her clit again.

     Y/n arched towards him as her walls clenched around him. His grunts hit her ears like a masterpiece. Nights she had spent thinking of him when she couldn’t sleep couldn’t compare to the real Seungmin. The image in front of Seungmin couldn’t compare his own lonely nights. How did they ever think letting each other go was the best and only option they had months ago?

     “Fuck. Never gonna leave you again,” Seungmin groaned as he pressed harder into her clit

     “‘M close min,” Y/n moaned

     “Already? Gonna give me more later?”

     Y/n simply gave him another moan as a response as her hips jerked against him. Six months without being intimate took a toll on both of them; neither of them really knew. 

     Both their highs buildings and washing over them before they knew it. Y/n’s tumbled down first as she rocked against him. Seungmin let himself explode in the condom as she was coming down. Stilling inside and leaning over, thin layer of sweat on them.

     Seungmin slowly pulled out and took off the rubber, tying it and tossing it in the garbage as he went into her bathroom to grab a towel. Coming back and cleaning her up, being as gentle as possible before throwing the towel in her clothes hamper and cuddled up with her under her covers.

     “I love you. I hope you know that,” Seungmin told her

     “I love you too Min.” Y/n smiled

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hey can you maybe do a gambit x reader where gambit and the reader are best friends and always going on missions together and Remy is always saying your like his little sister but in reality the reader is in love with him but tries to meditate between gambit and rogue to keep them together cuz she thinks he's happy with her.

But then gambit gets in a fight with rogue and they break up, and the reader is like scrambling to get to apologize and Remy has to sit them down and explain he wasnt happy and then either the reader confesses to him or he confesses that he had always loved her but played it off.

Idk it sounded good in my head, sorry if it was too long but I love your work so keep it up!☺️

In the heart of the X-Mansion, the bond between you and Gambit was well-known. As best friends, you both were inseparable, frequently going on missions together and supporting each other through thick and thin. Remy often referred to you as his “little sister,” a term that made your heart flutter with an unspoken mix of affection and longing.

You had always been there for him, even helping to mediate between Gambit and Rogue when their relationship hit rough patches. Despite your feelings for Remy, you never let them show. You believed that if he was happy with Rogue, that was all that mattered.

However, as fate would have it, a recent argument between Gambit and Rogue had spiraled into a breakup. The tension in the mansion was palpable, and you could feel your heart breaking for both of them. You had hoped that they would work things out, but when it became clear that things were over, you found yourself in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

You hurried to find Gambit, feeling a mixture of urgency and dread. You reached his room, knocking lightly before pushing the door open. “Remy, can we talk?”

He looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his expression a mix of frustration and sadness. “Hey, chérie. What’s goin’ on?”

“I—” you hesitated, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean for things to get so messed up with you and Rogue.”

Gambit stood up, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “It’s not your fault, mon amie. Things just didn’t work out.”

You took a step closer, your heart pounding. “But… if you’re hurting, I want to help. I care about you so much, and I just want to see you happy.”

Gambit’s gaze softened, and he took your hand gently, his touch sending a shiver through you. “I know you care, and I appreciate that. But there’s somethin’ you need to know.”

Before he could continue, the door swung open, and Rogue walked in, her eyes red from crying. “Remy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to end like this.”

Gambit looked at Rogue, then at you, his expression conflicted. He sighed and motioned for both of you to sit down. “We need to talk about this properly.”

As you sat together, Gambit began to explain. “Look, I’ve been keepin’ things from you both. The truth is, I’ve been unhappy for a while now. I didn’t realize how much until things with Rogue fell apart.”

You felt a pang of hurt and confusion. “But why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell Rogue?”

Gambit turned to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and something softer. “Because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I tried to play it off, but the truth is, I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”

You froze, your heart racing as the words sank in. “Me?”

Gambit nodded, a small, wistful smile on his face. “Yeah, you. I didn’t want to complicate things, so I kept it to myself. But the way things ended with Rogue made me realize that I’ve been tryin’ to hide my true feelings.”

Rogue looked between you and Gambit, her expression one of understanding. “Well, if you two have feelings for each other, then maybe it’s time for you both to figure that out. I wish you both the best.”

With that, Rogue gave a small, sad smile and left the room, giving you and Gambit the space to talk. You turned to him, your eyes brimming with emotion.

“I never thought… I mean, I’ve always loved you, but I thought it was just my feelings getting in the way,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or force you into anything.”

Gambit reached out and took your hand, his touch gentle and reassuring. “You didn’t ruin anything. I’ve been waitin’ for the right moment to tell you how I feel. And now that it’s out in the open, I want to be honest with you.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and joy. “So, what do we do now?”

Gambit smiled, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “Now, we take it one step at a time. I want to be with you, if you’re willin’ to give us a chance.”

You smiled through your tears, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “I’d like that. I’ve always wanted to be with you.”

As you both embraced, you felt a sense of peace and hope. The road ahead might not be easy, but with Gambit by your side, you were ready to face it together. The love you had always felt for him was finally reciprocated, and you knew that despite the challenges, you had found something truly special.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Re: To the anon asking about Rory.

They’ve been close friends for AGES. He’s not going anywhere sadly.

I don’t really like his vibe

Hey, I’m the one who asked about Rory—thanks for replying. I know they’ve been besties forever, but what I meant was if Rory was a huge part of L’s life before HBS. I don’t remember seeing him much when L and J were together, except in a couple of stories and the singing vids. Also, are Tom and Charmaine married? I like them for some reason; they don’t give me the ick like Rory and his gang do.

Continuation of my earlier ask:

My BFF and I talked to two of our male friends, and they patiently listened. We just finished filling them in on the drama from yesterday and today. We’ve been chatting since 5 am lol. Here’s what they had to say:

Luke and Nic are in love: There’s a lot of eye-fucking to prove it. The tension suggests they haven’t acted on it, which is expected. The guys think Nic wouldn’t be okay with that, and Luke seems decent enough not to have crossed that line. However, they do believe they might have hooked up before Luke had his HBS. They could be reevaluating their relationship, using intimacy tools to see if it’s genuine affection or just heightened emotions and sexual tension from filming their season.

Luke’s friend group seems toxic: By friend group, they mean just Rory. The others seem fine. L dating a young girl soon after Rory did confirms Rory as the alpha of the group, and L as gullible since none of his other friends are doing the same. Maybe J dating someone young also influenced L dating A. It could be an ego thing, a guy thing, or both. L will probably cringe at this situation looking back. They said this whole relationship has nothing to do with Nic. This is Luke’s problem—a midlife crisis, even—and he needs to figure it out, which won’t happen as long as he’s with Rory and his gang.

A is super insecure: It doesn’t make sense because she’s the one who bagged the hot Netflix lead and goes on vacations with him. But her social media behavior reeks of insecurity and constantly seeking validation. This confirms that L isn’t invested in the relationship, which confirms to us he’s VERY much into Nic. So, think about this whenever A’s trolling upsets you. 😉

Nicola doesn’t care: The guys think L and N might have discussed their feelings, but Nic sees that L has issues to deal with—mainly himself. She’s hustling and thriving, not caring about his current relationship. Posting their pictures shows her character and work ethic. This only benefits her, and Luke should learn from it. They think L should make a final thank you post, even if people find it disingenuous. It’s better than nothing.

A needs to chill with the Hailey Bieber cosplay: The white outfit was an exact recreation of Hailey’s, and it’s weird. She keeps track of her comment section and allows comparisons to Hailey, which is embarrassing to say the least. The guys think A will stick around as long as she can. L seems to struggle with breakups, and now that A’s integrated into his friend group, it’ll take a lot of time to end things. She might be playing into his guilt, which is why he’s still liking her posts. She's young but smart enough to understand that. They think the only way out is for L to keep busy with work, but he doesn’t seem to have any now. Expect things to get worse before they get better. If he works, he can slowly distance himself from the relationship, and it will inevitably end. Either that or he’ll meet Nic, talk, realize they still have feelings, and that will give him the courage to end it with A. Even then, he has to make it up to Nic for all the shit he’s pulled.

Nic and Newts dating: Once they start dating, we won’t get a hard launch or pap pics. They might return to their old social media banter and comment and like each other’s posts.

So yeah, I’m really grateful to have my brother and these friends who indulge and listen to me. I think it’s safe to say they’re roped into the ship as well lol. Love to see what you guys think. Omg, also, I watched a TikTok of Luke singing as a teen, and the guy in the back looks like Rory. If it is, HE’S the one who glowed up, not L lol.

It is Rory in the background looking jealous AF

Thank you for sharing anon, love seeing the different perspectives

💜🥃

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

Am I the only one who doesn't think if/when Adrien finds out about everything (him being a senti, the wish, his father being Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch (pick your poison)) that he'll break up with or even lash out at Marinette?

I know we've seen him get angry with Ladybug over secret keeping, from not telling him important information and keeping him out of the loop. But isn't this situation different?

For starters, in this scenario, Adrien has already been dating Marinette for a while, at least a few months, before finding out. While this might not seem that it changes much, as he was already close to and in love with Ladybug when they went through their rough patches, there are actually some key differences between these relationships.

For starters, Adrinette at this point is in a devoted and loving relationship. Adrien feels secure in his relationship with Marinette, which is something not always afforded to him with Ladybug. Finding out that she had been keeping big secrets from him might cause a disturbance to this, but being as how their relationship is on much more stable foundation from Adrien's perspective, they may be able to recover more easily.

Additionally, Adrien tends to experience love in an all-consuming manner. Being as how he is in a reciprocal relationship with Marinette, his feelings are allowed to flourish a lot more and are arguably more potently felt than with his stunted affections towards the unavailable Ladybug. He's not going to easily just let go of something that fills him up and makes him feel loved and content.

What's more so is that Adrien as a civilian, is a lot more insular in expressing his feelings than Chat Noir is. Meaning, while Chat Noir might blow up when feeling angry or hurt, Adrien is more likely to keep it inside and either internalize the hurt (by blaming himself) or give himself time to get through it.

Finally, we have seen Adrien's reaction to Marinette being hurt (and it doesn't end well for the person who hurt her). What is, in my opinion a far more likely outcome to an Adrinette fight/breakup, is Adrien seeing Marinette as a victim, because let's be clear here, she is a victim.

Marinette has been through a ton of trauma. And then after seeing it all, she was sworn to silence by a number of people who honestly have more of a responsibility for disclosure with Adrien than Marinette does. Is it not Felix's responsibility to tell him about being a senti? Is it not Nathalie's responsibility to tell him about the crimes his father committed with her as an accomplice? Is it not Plagg's responsibility to tell Adrien about the wish he had to grant?

It is not Marinette's fault that all of these things transpired, and yet, she has been burdened with the knowledge of all of it and will likely be the one saddled with having to relay it all to Adrien. Adrien, who is compassionate and loves her, would likely see the position she was put it and rather than lash out, he would probably want to comfort her.

Thereby putting two very traumatized kids in the position of having to help each other out of their guilt and grief.

[bachelor4choice]

Fans of Arcane! I'm here to bring theories!!!!

P.S.: Please, no spoilers. Especially regarding any leaks. Making theories is a big part of what makes a show fun for fans, so don’t ruin that. Good? Good.

Recently, I saw here on Tumblr a series of images about how the acts will be divided in this second season, and that gave me some clues about how Vi’s arc might unfold. Since they're focusing a lot on her, it's the "easiest" to deduce, but I have some guesses about other characters as well.

The image (not sure if it's official ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) is this one:

HERE WE GO!

Act 1: It would pick up immediately after the final events of the first season. Vi immediately finds herself "forced" to join Caitlyn and the Enforcers. It’s a natural progression for the character, considering what happened. Vi values herself as someone who protects those she loves. She always has been this way, so when she feels like she failed Jinx, she moves on to protect Cait. I believe, for her, it’s also a way to protect Zaun, which must fall into chaos with the power vacuum left by Silco. In this act we’d see Vi and Caitlyn grow even closer, but with so many close calls that we would die a little, because neither of them is exactly what the other needs. Both Caitlyn and Vi, in the inside, are actualy drifting away from what they initially liked in each other. Yes, it’s going to be quite painful to watch, but hey! It’s going to get worse :)

I believe the end of this act will be a confrontation between Jinx and Vi. And here, my friends, we see the downfall, because I still believe Vi won’t be able to finish off Jinx, and this will be a double failure in Vi’s "protector" nature. This will lead her to distance herself from Cait and the Enforcers, but by this point, Vi has nowhere to return to, because Zaun no longer accepts her. She has become a traitor, remember? Enter Dark Vi! At the end of this act, there will be ANOTHER breakup between Vi and Cait (without them even having started dating yet! These lesbians) and this will also push Cait to take more drastic actions, alongside Mel’s mother.

Act 2: It would start with Vi at her lowest point (I’m not looking at her arms, you are!) I believe this is also when Jinx becomes a symbol of resistance, as a response to the increasing pressure applied by Caitlyn and Medarda. As things get politically terrible, Vi continues to lose her sense of self. That’s why she drinks so much and why the ex-enforcer takes her to those underground fights. She keeps hallucinating about Caitlyn because, again, she feels like she’s failed. She couldn’t help Caitlyn because she couldn’t stop protecting Jinx. For her, this whole situation is lose-lose. Seeing Caitlyn drift further from who she truly is also deeply affects Vi.

I’ve always admired Caitlyn’s character for her rationality and compassion. She’s smart, determined, focused, but sweet (like a Cupcake). Seeing someone you care about lose that side of themselves because of your own sister… Yeah, I’d be drinking too. This would explain why Vi hallucinates about the Caitlyn from the first season. At the same time, with Jinx being exalted as a symbol, Vi sees exactly what she’s lost: the sister who was supposed to grow up and help Zaun. Everyone viewing Jinx this way, when she definitely ISN’T like that anymore, is like rubbing salt in the wound.

I believe Vi’s downfall will take up an entire episode. Two things could happen to end Dark Vi. Jinx, as we see her watching the fights and even betting on Vi. (Same Symbol)

Yep, in the new images, Vi isn’t hallucinating about Jinx, only about Cait. Jinx is going to watch Vi spiraling and I think she’s going to HATE it. I do believe Jinx has changed, but I think she still prefers to see Vi distant but doing okay, rather than close and falling apart. I think this would be an interesting trait for Jinx. Now, throwing in a wild guess: I think Jinx herself is going to seek out Caitlyn. Cait, by the way, is likely spiraling too, but unlike Vi, she has other ways to self-destruct (work).

So, my theory for the end of Act 2 is that Jinx is going to show Cait the state Vi’s in and say, “Look at this disaster lesbian!” This will lead to a really sweet moment where Cait finally reconnects with her compassionate side—caring about others' pain, not just her own (get ready to cry here. If this really happens, I want ALL of it! From tending to Vi’s wounds and alcoholism to a heart-wrenching confession in the middle).

HOWEVER, I don’t think Cait’s return will be the only catalyst. Here’s where the battle with Warwick comes in! Wouldn’t it be tragic if Vander, once again, is responsible for making Vi rediscover her value as the protector of those she loves? Because I think that’s exactly what’s going to happen—fighting this version of Vander will be the final nail in the coffin for Dark Vi. Oh, Vander, helping Vi even now.

Act 3: We’ll finally have Vi and Cait on the same page (you know that sex scene? Probably here, and I think it’s going to lean more towards sweet than sexy. Something tasteful, definitely).

Vi will be an Enforcer, but not to hunt Jinx—rather, to help Zaun and protect everyone, including Piltover, from Empress Medarda’s grip. After all, with Cait no longer obsessed with taking down Jinx, Medarda’s influence over Caitlyn will come to an end. The only leverage Medarda has over Cait is her anger, and when that’s no longer in play, Cait’s rational side kicks back in. She’ll realize that for Medarda, it was never about justice—it was about Hextech. This realization will be what unites everyone: Zaun and Piltover will come together, fighting against Medarda.

Oil and Walter.

As for Cait, there are definitely some missing pieces. Just as Vi has Warwick, Cait is going to have something beyond Jinx/Vi. But since there’s so little information about the other characters, it’s hard to say who. There’s bound to be something more than just the power of love. What’s important is that during the third act, we’ll already have Cait and Vi as Piltover’s Finest! In those perfect black uniforms.

Well, that's basically it! See you in November, when Arcane becomes my entire personality!

[vizthedatum]

reflections on my polyamory

I feel so much lighter about my polyamory practice after so much reflection this year.

I didn't date that much this year - my only major relationship was with my ex-girlfriend (who is one of my best friends, and I love her so dearly. I am so thankful for her to be in my life).

I went on a couple of sporadic dates, made some really awesome friends, blocked some people who weren't good for me, was broken up after three dates with someone over the summer, and generally AGONIZED about finding someone. (I also agonized over not being able to get over someone from the past and was angry at my ex-spouse. (I think the anger has been good for me!)))

It's not that I'm not lonely anymore - I am. But I'm releasing (slowly) that pull to be with someone just for the sake of thinking that's where I should be right now.

I value connection and natural alignment more than brute-forcing myself into some sort of relationship. I want it all to happen way more naturally, and I no longer want to be afraid of how I feel. I want to tell people how I feel and see if we can work out something. I want to ask, "Hey, do you want to do something with me? A partnership? Being lovers? Friends? Something else we can both define? Or should we part ways because you don't feel the same way or don't want to make a commitment?"

I want to tell people I love them without fear, and I'm getting SO MUCH better at that.

--

I started dating someone new recently (only one date, a second date planned, and already a bunch of good conversations).

And... I realized:

I like this person very initially, but I don't want to force myself or them to fit into a relationship mold of any kind. It may not work out. It may be an amazing friendship. It could be something else! It's nice to not know... and just communicate enthusiastically.

It's not that I don't want definition in my relationships - I do. With time. With the evolving communication.

I feel secure with our conversation and admire their maturity - I already don't feel like I need to second-guess myself when I tell them stuff (and I hope that continues!)

I think I have fundamentally changed how I behave, to be honest - I ask for a lot of clarity, and I will continue to do so.

--

I feel more at peace with just enjoying and loving people as long as they're in my life. Yes, breaks or deviations from my expectations will still emotionally affect me, but they will not completely devastate me to the point of non-functioning. I don't think I could have said that before.

Even with my last friend-breakup, yes, I was so so hurt. I did say I was "devastated," but I wasn't non-functional. I wasn't ruminating constantly over it. And I understood that I didn't have or want control over how that ended up evolving. I have way too much respect for him, and I have way too much respect for myself.

My polyamory, as I've been saying really confidently all year, includes friendships (I think it always has... and when I've brought this up to people in the past, some people were like "well, I don't consent to being part of your polycule" and to that, I say: You don't have to be part of a polycule if you don't want to be - it's about your impact on me, our chosen responsibilities to each other, and our connection (in the group of connections of whoever we choose to interact with)... it's just how I define my love, energy, and commitment).

Defining my energy and commitment... helps me not burn out. I LOVE BEING IN CONNECTION WITH PEOPLE, but I cannot lose the connection with myself again.

And I also don't want to be connected with people who seek to control me in a relationship. I don't want there to be cheating within a relationship (and I think the "cheating" conversation should be had with people - it can include *personal* boundaries, but I do not think it should limit what people do, because if it does, then maybe the relationship should be scrutinized more - maybe it needs to be redefined.)

I still have feelings, obviously. I am my own person, and things affect me the way they affect me based on my unique life experience! If I have a partner I feel hurt by, I will tell them that, even if they didn't have that intention. If I think that someone is non-commital or isn't contributing to the relationship the way I need them to, I will talk to them about it (and we'll go from there).

My brand of polyamory isn't about shirking from responsibility. It's also about being true to myself. I don't want to hurt someone; if I am, I need to figure out how to repair that relationship with that person OR LEAVE. If someone repeatedly hurts me without any change, efforts to repair, or acknowledgment, then I need to leave.

And yeah... I think I still do want to nest with someone or someones from time to time. And I still want kids.

But I can have meaningful relationships (whether or not they include platonic, romantic, sexual, etc. elements), whether or not they include nesting or co-parenting, and I didn't think I could before.