#and the. you meet up with your new god buddy and within 24 hours you learn that the two of them are exes

[incorrect-sunflower-sibs]

No one:

Commodus:

Apollo:

Meg: I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

[lpmurphy]

Spring in Tchakova Park

Read on AO3

Master List

Chapter Playlist

Summary: Green was the color of the grass where he used to walk in Tchakova Park.

In which John meets a stranger in the park, Violet learns of the care and keeping of Spartans, and Cortana offers dating advice. (Complete 5/7/24)

Chapter Summary: The Demeter Team reaches a breakthrough with the help of a certain little blue brain buddy. Violet stands up for herself. John visits her in the greenhouses. Nomad rings in Violet's 31st birthday with a bang.

Chapter Thirty: Cultivation

Cortana identified the issues with the system within 25 seconds the following evening when John came to deliver her dinner to the greenhouses. Violet had only stared at the blue woman in wonder after Cortana spouted off the errors she had overlooked, smiling proudly from beside John. She would have kissed her on the mouth if it had been physically possible. 

Violet instead flipped between her diagnostic results and digital renderings as Cortana’s recommendations echoed through her mind, gaping at her wide eyed before erupting into a series of profanity laden outbursts as she paced the aisles of empty soil in disbelief. Violet mumbled to herself as she paced and wished she had her own state of the art artificial intelligence implanted directly into her own brain. John watched her cautiously as she paced with hands folded atop her head, still laughing and mumbling like she had completely lost it until she turned back and kissed him and muttered out that she was going to bed.

Violet took the recommendations to Derek and Corey the next morning, who completed the repairs within 15 minutes. Violet questioned why she hadn’t consulted the AI days ago as she explained Cortana’s findings, both engineers nodding along in understanding as they looked over the recommendations on their own pads. A new vigor fell over the team as Corey and Derek turned to the catwalk ladders and set about the repairs. Excitement buzzed over the greenhouses as they worked with Saul volleying between the men as they worked to inspect ionic chambers and make adjustments. Violet and the rest of the team crouched over the empty planters with trowels and hand rakes as they cultivated and pushed seeds down into the turned earth with their fingers, laughing and chatting as they worked with a newfound ease. 

Saul laughed and shook his head at the crass joke Corey  made before he closed up the generator with a definitive tap on the top and crossed to assist Derek with the finishing repairs. He leaned over the railing to shout down to where Violet hunched over one of the root vegetable planters, “How the hell did you figure it out, Harris? You were as stumped as the rest of us when we all left last night.”

Violet smirked and poked her fingers into the soil, dropping seeds into each indent before covering them with a swipe of her hand. The series of repeated motions was soothing and familiar. She found herself missing the worktables in The Jungle as she worked. “I had a friend take a look at it after hours. Figured some fresh eyes may do us some good. It was pretty simple once she identified it. I can’t believe any of us missed it.” 

“If it was so simple, then you should have figured it out five days ago,” Dev grumbled from over his section. 

The team let out a collective sigh at the sound of his voice and Violet rolled her eyes. She had spent the week avoiding him, and he had done the same of her, especially when John was present. God, why did she ever date that man? She ignored his obvious baiting and straightened up from the finished row to move to the next. She crouched across from Meredith, who shared an annoyed look with her friend.

“Leave it alone, Johal,” Meredith snapped. Violet didn’t look up from the row she cultivated, brushing soil over the tomato seeds she had pressed down. “I would rather shove my trowel up my own ass than listen to another second of your bitching and moaning. The repairs have been made, we can get back to work. Shut the fuck up and cover your section.”

“The repairs could have been made a month ago,” he snapped, stabbing his trowel down into the soil before straightening up. “But someone left us high and fucking dry so they could play bedwarmer to their little boyfriend while I actually tried to do something about it.”

“I don’t think there’s anything little about him,” Bastian muttered to Leif, who cleared his throat to mask his snicker.

“Hey,” Corey called over the edge of the catwalks from where he, Derek, and Saul stood beside the generators. “We all did the best we could. You got the same message as the rest of us from Sorenson about why she was out. Relax.”

“No,” Dev turned to look up at him, throwing his arms out in exasperation. “Why do I have to relax? She choses the right uniform to fuck at FLEETCOM and gets to come back with a hero’s welcome and parade around like a pageant queen? Like she isn’t the reason this is happening in the first place?”

“Hey, Dev. C’mon-,” Saul began, leaning over the railings to frown down at him as well.

Saul’s attempt to mitigate fell silent as Violet’s own trowel sank into the soil. She stood and turned to face Dev, a chuckle bubbling from her as she brought her eyes to him. Dev stared back at her. A satisfied smirk lifted his lips, triumph beaming from his face. Violet did not acquiesce to the anger that burned in his eyes like she had before. She brushed soil from her hands on the front of her shirt, keeping her face the same neutral expression she had seen on John’s own as she spoke.

“The entire system could have been recalibrated remotely over a month before I arrived if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to go about your botched repairs. Your lack of care and your own selfishness is what put us here, Devrin. Not mine. Nor did John-,” she caught herself. “Master Chief’s injuries and subsequent recovery. My responsibility was to attend to my partner, and to my family. You were responsible for attending to your own station. Had you asked me for help explicitly when you were on Reach, rather than veiling it in all of your pointless vitriol, this could have been avoided.” 

“I was a little busy having my bones screwed back together after you sicced your guard dog on me,” he spat. 

She narrowed her eyes, matching the way his head tilted in challenge. She recognized his posturing. She had seen it so many times over the years as he put himself over her and waited for her to shrink. She had shrunken to him for years; to hateful words and insults carefully crafted to make her feel small. She wouldn’t shrink to him any longer. She chuffed out a soft laugh, “Would you like to share with them why John did what he did? Or should I?” 

“You’re all fucking bark, Harris,” he hissed. He stepped towards her again, but the fear she had felt in the bar and every time before did not flood into her. She heard footsteps shift behind her as Bastian and Lief rose from where they had hunched over planters. But Violet remained where she stood, still watching the desperate attempt at intimidation that unfolded before her. It was pitiful, really, she thought. “You always have been.” 

“Maybe,” she agreed, dropping her voice so that only he could hear her as the eyes of their team remained on her back. “I might be all bark, but as you’ve already found out, my ‘guard dog’ bites. Try me while he’s around. Any of them, really. I welcome it.” 

Fear flickered in his eyes at the mention of John and he dropped his eyes from her own. Violet smirked. She knew that it wasn’t just John he had to worry about; Vannak had made it clear to John that he would be watching Dev as closely as he would be before they left Reach. Vannak had pulled her aside during their last family dinner as well to tell her that she was to report back to him if Dev so much as sneezed at her in a way she didn’t like. When she hugged him in thanks that time, he didn’t try to pull away. Katie had always been her protector growing up, but she had always wondered what it was like to have a big brother. 

Violet didn’t drop his gaze in the same way he did hers. She only folded her arms and stood straight and tall. Devrin met her eyes again, but that fierceness he had met her with was replaced with unease as she continued to speak.

“It seems that the reason for my leaving Demeter has escaped you. So, allow me to remind you exactly what I have been doing in my absence, Doctor Johal. As of my appointment to Head of Botanical Research in March, I am your direct supervisor. I’d have more care in the way you speak to the woman who authorizes your paychecks. And keep in mind, I’ll be making my final recommendations to the board upon my return. So go ahead; keep it up. See how it shakes out for you,” she looked up at him. The smug look he had worn was gone. She smiled, “Think I’m still just barking?”

Dev stepped back, tail tucked and shoulders slumped, “No, ma’am.” 

“Good,” she said, tilting her head back towards the planter he had been crouched over minutes before. “Finish your section, Doctor Johal. We’re waiting on you.”

Violet felt herself stand a bit straighter as he returned to his section. Meredith patted her leg, smiling up at her from where she finished her planting. Violet lifted her head to the catwalks and smiled as she called up to Saul, “Shall we fire her up, then?”

Saul chuckled and gave her an approving nod, “You’re the boss, Doc. Everyone come on up.”

Violet took a steadying breath as she watched the team descend upon the ladders, chatting as they climbed up to the platforms the generators sat upon. Violet’s fingers gnashed at her thumbs as her footsteps echoed across the metal and she took her place beside Meredith. Derek and Corey looked over the generators to check over their work before running a final diagnostic. The whole team seemed to hold their breath as they watched the engineers look over their pads intently. Derek looked up with a grin, “Diagnostics are clear. I think we’re ready.”

“You know you’re not supposed to give us a gift on your birthday, right Doc?” Saul laughed, clapping her on the shoulder. 

Violet laughed tightly. Her grip on the railing tightened as she looked down at the planters below, “Good thing my birthday isn’t until tomorrow, Saul.”

“Alright, folks. Moment of truth,” Corey called. He stepped in front of the control panels, shoulders tight. Tension settled in between the nine scientists as they stared below, “Initiating the system.”

Meredith grasped her hand, her fingers wrapping around Violet’s in a bone crushing squeeze. Violet looked to the generators as they started to hum, her heart in her throat as her own grip tightened around Meredith’s. She held her breath and pinched her eyes shut, unable to bring herself to watch if it failed and she was forced to start over again. It had taken her three years to bring the system to fruition. She feared it would take even longer if she had to start from scratch again. She couldn’t stomach the thought of having to stay; of having to leave Reach and return permanently to the installation. Of having to leave John behind. She couldn’t stay. She wouldn’t. She’d sooner submit her resignation than leave and spend every single moment of her life wondering what it felt like to still be his.

Meredith gasped softly beside her and Violet took a steadying breath before opening her eyes. Her thoughts of resignation paperwork and job interviews were washed away in a glow of gentle blue light as it flooded over the rows below. Corey and Derek exchanged updates in short, clipped sentences as they monitored their screens. Violet gripped Meredith’s arm. 

“We’re a go,” Derek said. “Thirty seconds to growth.”

Thirty seconds had never passed so excruciatingly slow as Violet stared down. The team leaned over the railing beside her as they all watched silently. Bastian muttered out prayers in Portuguese beside her, Jin whispering in Mandarin farther down the catwalk. Violet only stared, willing the growth to come as she held her breath again, nerves rolling in her stomach. John had equated her to Demeter in jest, yet she stood over on the catwalks staring down at the earth and felt herself begging her child to return home and bring spring with her. She gripped the railing tightly and reminded herself to breathe.

Pinpricks of green emerged from the soil. Plant life sprouted up and coiled out of the earth. All of the panic and tension rushed out of her body in a puff of air as she sighed, dropping her head onto her folded arms on the railing. The team erupted into cheers behind her, all shouting out happily and exchanging high fives. Meredith grabbed her shoulders and gave them a shake before pressing a kiss to her cheek and turning to hug Jin. 

“Fuck yeah!” Meredith shouted, clapping Bastian on the shoulder. “Botany, bitches!”

Violet didn’t lift her head from the railing. Her eyes stayed on the seedlings that rose and twisted under the blue glow, slowly and steadily increasing in size as they spread across the planters. Saul stepped behind her and gave her a gentle pat on the back as he passed, “It’s going to be about twelve hours until we’re harvestable, Doc. Go get some rest.”

***

Ease settled into her as she stared out over the rows of green. The chrono on the wall flashed back the late hour; 0124. Exactly twelve hours since the system had been initiated and hummed above head. Violet stood between two planters in her pajamas, stalks of corn towering overhead on one side and greens dotted with bright red tomatoes on the other. The sticky heat of the structures had been replaced by the whir of overhead fans and air conditioned temperatures  carefully selected by the horticulturists to promote the healthy growth that burst to life around her. She shivered slightly in her tee and sweats, thankful for the chill that tickled her skin, breathing in the earthy scent that hadn’t filled the space a short time ago. 

Violet crossed the greenhouse slowly, allowing her fingers to drag over every plant she passed. She hadn’t bothered to put on her shoes before she left the installation. Red dust stained the soles of her feet from the short walk between the installation to the greenhouses. She left dusty footprints in her wake as she walked, twisting and trailing between each neat row. She stopped when she reached the deep planters filled with the greens of root vegetables. A wet giggle escaped her lips as she brushed tears from her cheeks. The beep of the entry scanner sounded from the other side of the greenhouse. Violet didn’t pull her eyes from the crops to see who had entered behind her, his recognizable footsteps thudding against the floors. 

“You should be in bed.” John called.

“The villagers will be here in eight hours for the first harvest,” she called, her voice soft and thick with emotion. John’s heavy steps neared her. “Then back again in the evening. It’ll be the first time they’ve eaten something that hasn’t come out of a package in 59 days.”

John stepped beside her, her eyes still fixed on the green. Their silence fell over them for a moment as they looked out over the greenhouse. 

“Mullins told me you might be in here,”  he said softly.

“Oh yeah?” 

“He said you’d be in it or on it.”  She mouthed the words with a slight nod as he spoke them, having heard them leave Greg’s mouth so many times before.  “I saw you two on the roof the other night. You let him down easy?”

“I did.” 

“Good. I wasn’t interested in having to explain a court-martial to Keyes if he didn’t,” Violet laughed as she leaned down to pluck a browning leaf from one of the planters an run her fingers though the smooth soil. John’s eyes followed her, “What happened between you two? When you left for Reach?”

“Nothing ugly.” She dusted the soil off of her hands over the planter before straightening back up to stand beside him, her eyes still fixed on the neat rows of green. John’s hand pressed against her back, his thumb brushing against her spine. “He was sweet to me. Put me back together after Dev and I broke up. I was in really bad shape after that ended. I lost myself, and Greg helped me find my way back. I got my position back home and he was staying here, so it always had an expiration date. I wondered when I got back if I had made the right choice; leaving all of this. I felt like I didn’t belong at work, I left all my friends behind, home didn’t feel quite like home anymore…”

“What made you stay?”

She smiled as she met his soft look and hugged herself against the air conditioned temperatures of the greenhouse. “I called my mom in tears one evening after work. I told her I wanted to come back. I was going to request to be transferred back the next morning. I had all of the paperwork filled out, just needed to press send and that would be that. She told me to take the evening to think about it. ‘Go for a walk. Clear your head. Get yourself straight before you do anything too big’. So I did. I hooked Sadie up and we went down to the park for our walk. I stopped to throw the ball for Sadie and was thinking about my job and everything I left behind; wondering about how different it all could have been if I stayed.”

She glanced up at John to find his eyes still on her as she spoke. He had looked down at her in that same way for months; that same gentleness to him that seemed to be reserved only for her. It still made her stomach flutter, bringing with it an easiness that felt more like home than this place ever had. More than New Alexandria ever had, or her apartment, or any place she had called her own before. Being with him felt like stepping in front of a roaring fire; safe and comforting and all-encompassing. 

She loved him. She loved him through all of the warmth and through the chill, in each moment she spent by his side, and part of her assumed she had loved him before he had ever stepped foot into her life. She knew that love would linger long after the warmth and chill, and she hoped she would never experience a moment without it. Without him. Without them. Wrong, he had called them that night. She had never felt a wrong so beautiful. She’d be wrong for the rest of her life as long as that wrong was him.

She offered him a soft smile, “I must have been too lost in my thoughts because I threw the ball a bit too far and it almost hit this big, beautiful stranger by the pond. It didn’t though. He caught it before it could. Must have head eyes in the back of his head watching out for him. I went over to apologize and as soon as I looked up at him, I knew I had made the right choice.”

John smiled softly and lifted a hand to brush her hair out of her face. He brushed his fingertips along her cheek before tucking the errant strand behind her ear, tracing the curve of her jaw before taking her face in his hand and brushing his thumb against her cheek in gentle strokes. Violet pressed against the touch and curled her fingers around his wrist. “Yeah? How’d you know?”

“I told him a weird fact about geese,” she laughed, relishing in the low rumble of his chuckle. “And he didn’t look at me like I was a crazy person. He just laughed. I deleted my transfer request that night. I haven’t wondered again since I met you. I can’t picture what things would have been like if I had made a different choice. One spring evening in Tchakova Park was all it took for me to see what my forever looked like.”

She turned to look up at him, “You will always be the best choice I have ever made, John.”

He said nothing. He never had to. He only looked down at her in all of that silent intensity and took her hand, his fingers curling into her own. She reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek, and John leaned into her touch. 

“Ready to go home?” she asked. “I think our dog probably misses us.”

He leaned down to press a kiss to her head before wrapping his arms around her. Violet let her head rest against his chest plate as she leaned into his embrace. 

“Yeah, Goose,” he murmured, “I am.”

---

Violet returned to the installation to find the rec room and kitchen empty at the late hour. Jin poked out of the door of Saul’s room, giving Violet a small wave as she slipped back into her own room quietly. Violet offered her a small smile in return. She stood in the rec room for a few moments in the silence and looked over the sofas she had spent so many nights upon with her friends. All of the laughter, all of the tears, all of the comradery and brilliance exchanged with the people who had pushed her and driven her. The team who had made her a better scientist. The people who made her a better person and friend. She glanced out at the greenhouse roofs a final time, a soft smile stretching her lips before she slipped into her room to pack up her things. 

She’d miss this dusty little shithole. But, fuck, she was ready to go home with her John. 

Violet fell asleep in her old room early on the morning of her 31st birthday to thoughts of John’s warmth beside her in bed and the evening run she looked forward to taking Sadie on. She slept the best she had in the days they had been at FOB Nomad, guilt fading from her as she dreamed of clean linens and preparing meals in her own kitchen. The room still felt too lonely, too quiet without the sounds of him sleeping next to her, but she slept comfortably knowing that the noises would return within a few short weeks in the sleepy comfort of their bedroom. 

She slept through the first explosion. The second startled her awake, along with the flashes of purple light that illuminated the walls of her room. The shouts that followed afterwards made her get out of bed.

[laurie-stark]

Unwanted-Peter Parker

Summary: Y/n Stark gets more than she bargains for when she joins her Pops, Captian America, for the civil war of the century.

Pairings: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader, Steve Rogers x Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warnings: swearing, fighting

A/N: Just so you don't get too confused, Y/n is Tony Stark's biological child, however, she was raised by the Avengers and refers to Natasha and Steve as Mama and Pops. Also I wrote this a year ago LOL. Enjoy x

Part Two

New York, 2016

This was bad. Very, very bad. I had seen the secretary come in the compound over the screen of the security monitors. He marched into my home, unannounced and unwelcome, holding himself with purpose. I followed him over the screens, tracking his movements. I watched as he was led through the building, up the elevator and into...the conference room? Oh this was bad. Very, very bad.

I raced as fast as I could. By the time I got the to conference room, the whole group was already sitting in front of the secretary. I saw Wanda first. Her back was to me, but I could see her rigid frame and I knew something was happening. My  father saw me approaching through the glass walls. He shot me a look that said "Don't do it. Don't come in here." I didn't obey.

The secretary stopped speaking abruptly when I walked through the doors. He gave me a quizzical look, did a once over and immediately looked at my father. Surely I don't look that much like Tony.

"Sorry I'm late, no one informed me about this team meeting," I gasped, short of breath from all the running. Of course, this was pushing it. As much as I wanted to be a part of the group, fighting was not my style, so I often got left out of important Avengers activities. I got to live with them, but that was it. Tony rose from his seat. He mumbled an apology to the secretary and gently ushered I out of the room. I would have fought back, but seeing the look on my father's face was enough to shut me up. And I never shut up. The secretary resumed his story. Something about golf and a heart attack.

My dad turned to face me. "Look kid, I get that you want to know what's going on, and you will, but today isn't the day."

"Okay," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay to be curious," he replied, walking back into the meeting. "Stay upstairs, okay hun?" I nodded and started the trek back up to my room. I shut the door and flopped onto my bed. Out of my long list of pet peeves, this was number one. Sure, I didn't want to fight, but come on family, I should at least get to be in on what's going on! Maybe I could help. I have powers for God sake. I am more than capable of helping the Avengers. But they always saw me as the little girl who needs protection.

"April, pull up security footage of the conference room please," I asked. April, the AI I built, that was modeled after Friday, projected the video surveillance from the ceiling. "Volume up." The group was in the same position as from when I left. The secretary was passing around the room. There was a thick white book being passed around the table.

"The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place," Steve said quietly. "I feel we've done that."

The secretary looked down at him. "Tell me Cap, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" What? You were so confused. Why did the secretary care where my uncles were? No one answered the secretary's question, so he kept talking. I racked your brain to find the answers on my own. "...this is the middle ground." The secretary pointed at the book, now lying untouched on the table.

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha asked.

"The you retire," the secretary responded. With that, he left the room and I scurried back downstairs.

Everyone was in the living room. I sat in the stairwell, again being uninvited to this group discussion. I listened to them fight. I figured out what was going on. The United Nations were being ungrateful little bitches and hated that they didn't have control over my family. So they gave an ultimatum: give in or give up. From the sounds of it, Uncle Rhodes, Vision and two of my four parents were in agreement with the accords. Steve and Sam were against it. Wanda hadn't said a word. Tension was growing high, I could feel it. I heard my father conclude that he won and a thud of the accords being tossed on the coffee table. Someone got up and left. Before I had the chance to act, the door to the stairwell was torn open. Steve pushed through and nearly stepped on me.

"Eavesdropping?" He smiled.

"You kicked me out, what else am I supposed to do?" I retorted. I noticed the tears welling in Steve's eyes. "Pops, what's wrong?"

Steve's glance fluttered to the ground. "Peggy. She, um..." was all he said. All he had to say. I  was smart enough to read between the lines. I stepped forward and hugged Steve. He smiled, grateful that he had me. I knew how much Peggy meant to him. When I was little, he'd always tell me the story about how they met, how they never got that dance. And every time I would make him dance with me. He even took me to visit her once. I was ten and it was Christmas time. Steve told me that he wanted his favorite girl to meet his favorite niece. Now that was all but a memory. I held him tight before telling him to go. It was okay, I could handle the others. He left without a second glance.

Within days the team was scattered. Steve and Sam had gone to Peggy's funeral. Natasha was off to the signing of the Accords in Vienna. And then all hell broke loose when the bombs went off at the signing ceremony. As always, I  were left home. I had no idea what was going on. At first this break in the team was about the Accords, but somehow Steve's old pal Bucky got involved. I didn't know what to think. The next thing I knew, everyone left for Berlin to rescue Steve and Sam from jail, leaving myself, Wanda and Vision at home.

When night fell, I was in my room, sulking as one would say. I was spending my evening flipping through Tumblr. There was a new superhero everyone was talking about. He called himself Spider-Man. New York based, focused on small neighborhood crimes. By YouTube footage alone, it was obvious he was a rookie. Soon enough, though, I accidentally conducted a full fledged search on this guy. He seemed shady. Sure, he's helping old ladies cross the street and all, but he just has a vibe. I couldn't put my finger on it. April broke me out of my research when she told me that there was a security breach in the compound. I pulled up the security camera footage and saw Clint Barton in my living room with Wanda levitating a knife at his nose.

I rushed downstairs. When I got to the living room Vision was holding Clint by the neck. I watched in silence as Wanda used her powers on Vision. She made it look easy. Slowly, Vision sunk to his knees. Wanda pushed further and the floor gave way. Vision was pushed through all seventy-four thousand levels of the compound. Wanda and Clint were about to turn to run out when you revealed yourself.

"Now was that really necessary?" I smirked. "We just had the floors waxed."

"Y/n," Clint warned.

"I'm not sitting on my ass," I said. Clint smirked and nodded. He knew he couldn't stop me anyways.

One car ride, plane flight and van trip later, I was in Germany. As it turns out, Steve wanted Clint and Wanda on his side, along with some ant dude named Scott. Scott was cool. Him and I sat together on the plane ride and watched Die Hard. He was asleep in the van when we pulled over in the airport parking lot. Clint told me to stay in the van. For once, I listened. I heard voices belonging to Steve and Sam. Clint slid open the van doors abruptly, shaking Scott awake. I chuckled to myself as he fangirled over my Pops. A voice over the intercom said something in a language I didn't know. A voice I didn't recognize said that the airport was being evacuated.

"Stark." Sam muttered.

Scott looked puzzled. Clearly he hadn't been filled in either. "Stark?" he asked.

I step out of the van. "Yes?" Steve and Sam look at me with wide eyes. Clint gave Steve a sheepish shrug. Behind their little blue car stood Bucky Barnes. I knew who he was. I learned about him in school. I knew he was some evil super soldier that attacked Natasha and Steve. He looked scary. He looked exactly like the type of guy to hurt my Mama and Pops. I held his glance until Steve spoke up.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" Steve whisper-shouted. His voice always got quiet when he 'yelled' at me.

"I hitchhiked." I replied, knowing that at this point Steve didn't have the time to argue with me. He shook his head in defeat and took a deep breath.

"Suit up."

The airport was huge. Our group got suited up and started for the runway. I didn't know how Steve knew where to find my dad, but I followed him anyways. Before I could get any closer, Bucky held me back.

"It's, uh, not gonna be safe. You should stay here and keep low," he said. I frowned. I did not come all this way to not fight. But even still, I nodded. Bucky scared me. He and Sam took off in another direction to find the getaway jet. I laughed. This whole thing was ridiculous. My attention turned to the sound of my father and Rhodey flying down from the sky.

"Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in," Tony started. "That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?"

"You're after the wrong guy," Steve replied nonchalantly.

"Your judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday-"

"And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find 'em first Tony. I can't."

"Steve," Natasha approached him slowly. "You know what's about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one?"

I took this as my cue. "No, but I will," I said, emerging from my hiding spot. I looked at the faces of your family. My gaze fell on Tony and my smile dropped. He looked angry.

"You brought my daughter into this?" Tony yelled, turning to Steve.

"Technically, I brought myself," I said. "You really think you were gonna leave me out of all the fun?"

Tony pinched his brow. "Y/n, this is serious."

"No it's not," I objected. "No, this got personal the second you thought you were gonna loose Pops to Bucky." No one moved after I said that.

"Alright, I've run out of patience," my father finally spoke. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Underoos!"

Before I had a chance to process, a red and black blur whipped past my head. It landed on top of a nearby van. It was Spider-Man. As in the Spider-Man. He had taken Cap's shield from him. I said nothing. My father could have recruited me, but instead he chose this little neighborhood nobody. That hurt a little. The Spider-thing and my father bantered for a minute. So he's never even been in a real fight before, I thought.

"You've been busy," Steve smirked.

Tony turned back to Steve. "And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint and Y/n, rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep-" he paused, sighing. "I'm trying to keep to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart."

"You did that when you signed." Steve kept his cool. My father did not.

"Alright, we're done. You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us, now, because it's us! Or squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction of being polite. Come on."

Everyone stood still, waiting. Steve put his web-cuffed hands in the air. Clint shot them free from a mile away. I saw Scott -or a tiny version of him. Spider-Man noticed too, right before Scott grew and kicked him in the face. My dad flew off to retrieve Wanda and Rhodey was ready to take on Cap.

"Hey Mr. Stark, what should I do?" Spider-Man asked. He sounded young.

"What we discussed, keep your distance, web 'em up!" My father barked, as he flew towards Clint and Wanda.

"Okay, copy that," Spider-Man replied. He shot a web at me first. It caught my arm and I got whipped to the ground. I glared at him.

"Really?" I hissed.

"Just following Mr. Stark's orders," He said before swinging off after Bucky. I was left on the ground once everyone dispersed. I tried pulling my hand out of the sticky material that was shot at me, but it was stronger than glue. I was forced to watch the action unfold and wait until Natasha ran past me.

"Mama, a little help here?" I called out to her.

She stopped for a second. "Sorry honey, I really don't want you getting hurt." She ran off and I groaned. No one ever wants me to get hurt. I suppose I should be grateful, but in a moment like this, gratitude is hard to find. I started toying with the web. I wondered if I could break down the molecules. Surely there had to be some sort of H2O compound in it somewhere.

My power surged through me, the current flowing to the hand webbed to the ground. I managed to manipulate the water out, just as I predicted I would. The substance melted off my hands. Gross, I thought. I wiped the remaining web on my pants and got up. The water from the webbing fell to the ground with a splash.

I stood up and examined my surroundings. Natasha was on the ground fighting Scott, who shrunk down and flipped her over her own head. The Black Panther was on the other side of the roof, battling Steve. I didn't move. As much as I wanted to be included, I couldn't bring myself to fight. Not now at least.

The two teams assembled, divided by a line on the pavement. How cinematic. I was on Cap's side. I never meant to fight against my father. If anything, I thought it was funny. I looked out at the team in front of me. They were all lined up, Rhodey, the cat, Tony, Nat, the Spider-brat. Vision hovered above them. A bead of sweat trickled down the back of my neck. I were scared. I wasn't made to fight.

"What do we do Cap?" Sam asked.

"We fight." Steve moved first. We followed in suit. My dad's team mimicked my team's actions and walked closer. We  broke into a jog and then a full out run. This was really about to happen. I hoped that my family would go easy on me. I knew what I was doing. I reassured myself of that. I have done a bunch of training, especially with Wanda. I could move the freaking elements with my mind and manipulate gravity! As if the Spider-Man could beat that. I am Y/n fricking Stark. I can do this.

I put a smile on your face, contrasting everyone else's bitter looks. "I call the spider!" I yelled, just as everyone began the battle. Spider-Man heard me and slowed down just a bit. I cocked an eyebrow. He resumed his pace and ran straight for me. I ran headfirst towards him. He threw out his arm to web me, but I was faster. With a swish of my hands, I changed his gravitational pull and made his feet flip out from under him. He landed on his back with a hard thud. As gently as I could, I morphed the pavement under him to trap his hands. "Careful there, Spider-boy. Don't wanna get stepped on." I walked away. I made it about ten steps before I heard the sound of concrete cracking. I turned around and saw that Spider-Man was breaking free of his restraints. I was shocked. He has super strength. Great. I should have moved out of his way because the second he got one hand free, I was webbed against a truck.

"For the record," he said, getting up in my face. "It's Spider-Man." He swung off into the airport through a glass window. I watched the glass rained onto the ground. Taking a deep breath, I quickly removed myself from the webs. I needed a plan. A strategy. I thought about at the opposing team. Everyone was scattered around the airport. I thought about who would be easiest to fight. But then I realized, the strategy wasn't about how they'd fight, but who. There was no way in hell that my parents or Uncle Rhodey would even think about fighting me. The Black Panther didn't know me, so he was a threat. The worst Vision could do was pick me up and fly away, so he was in thr safe zone. That left the spider. I smiled to myself. Rematch time.

By the time I found Spider-Man, he had already webbed Sam and Bucky to the floor. He was perched on top of a light post, saying something about impressing my father. Sam's mini falcon whizzed past me and grabbed Spider-Man by the web. He got pulled out a window, banging his side into the pane on the way out. I ran over to Sam and Bucky. Quickly, I destroyed the webbing and helped them up. They both gave me a quick "Thanks kid," before running back out. I followed them, staying loose on their trail.

Once I got outside my eyes scanned the area for the Spider. I saw Wanda piling cars on my father and Natasha fighting Clint. Then I spotted him, fighting Cap. He was underneath a jet bridge . Cap threw his shield at the support beams and the whole thing fell on top of Spider-Man. He caught it of course, but Cap ran away. I formed my plan.

"Hey!" I called out. I walked around the collapsing jet bridge. I stood in front of the struggling boy. Or man, I didn't know. "Remember me?"

"Heh, how could I forget such a pretty face," he grunted, starting to fold under the weight of the jet bridge. "You wanna give me a hand?" I glared at his face comment, but lifted the jet bridge anyway. He ran out and I let it fall. Both of us stopped for a minute, gasping for breath beside the rubble. He was close enough to hit. So I did. Without warning I threw a punch of air at him. It hit him right in the chest and he got blown back into the side of a van. "What the hell man?" He got up and shot a web at me. I dodged and threw another gust of wind. It shot him out of the air. He webbed at a pole and swung past my face. I redirected his gravitational pull, but not before he got a kick to my face. We both got thrown in different directions. I landed hard on the ground, pain shooting up my spine. I got up first, now angry. Forgetting about my powers, I lunged at him and threw a punch. I missed and he shot webs at my feet, holding me down. Immediately, I dissolved them and Spider-Man's eyes widened. Well, his mask's eye holes did anyway.

"How did you do that?" He yelled. "What kind of witchcraft-"

"Its not witchcraft," I spat. "It's called manipulation of the elements, look it up. I figured there had to be some water compound in this and I was right. All I had to do was remove it."

"That's so cool! And how did you do the foot thing earlier? Was that just the wind you do or do you have telekinesis too? Are you like the Scarlet Witch?" He rambled on. I took this to my advantage and caught him off guard. I used the van he'd hit earlier to become his gravitational pull and yanked. He went slamming into it and groaned. When he tried to get back up, I was already five steps ahead of him. Morphing the earth metals in the van, I contorted it into a shell that crushed Spider-Man until he was covered and stuck.

I heard Scott say that he was gonna tear himself in half over the earpiece. I got distracted from holding Spider-Man down and turned to see a giant Scott. Spider-Man broke free. He tore the shell off himself and threw it at me. I was wacked across the side and fell the the ground again.

"Holy shit!" he says, looking at Scott. His back was to me and I gave him one last wind push. He fell on his face and I laughed. "Oh come on, don't you have some dolls to play with or something?" I just scoffed and walked past him, stepping past his hand that was on the ground. He let out a yelp and you kept walking. Dolls, I thought. I'm thirteen I don't play with dolls. I watched as the rest of the battle went down. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Natasha was standing just behind me. "Come with me." We started jogging off. It was natural for me to listen to her. I realized about five seconds in that technically she was my enemy right about now, but I shrugged it off. I ran through the fight, past the big Scott and towards a warehouse. I could see the outline of a jet get bigger as I approached it. Natasha stopped behind the entrance. She was waiting.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"We wait to fight," She replied, not taking her eyes off the horizon. I came to realize this probably means I would be fighting her. Maybe she wanted to use me as a hostage or something. No, that's silly. Right?

Steve and Bucky got closer to the building I was in. They nearly made it until Vision laser beamed the shit out of a nearby communications tower. Wanda caught it before it fell, giving the two men time to race towards the jet. I stepped out to help Wanda. The both of us were able to hold the rubble long enough for Steve and Bucky to get through. I panted, proud of myself for getting this far.

A searing pain sliced through my brain. Both myself and Wanda fell to the ground, screaming. I could barely look up to see that Rhodey was sending some sort of wave through the air. The tower fell and Natasha was quick to haul me out of the way before I got crushed. I might be better than Spider-Man, but I definitely don't have his super strength.

Steve and Bucky still managed to get through the falling paces of metal and concrete. Natasha left my side and marched swiftly towards the two men. I couldn't hear them, but I could sense the tension from a mile away. Natasha lifted her arm, taser aimed and ready. Steve held his shield up in defense as Natasha shoots....the Black Panther? I guess she's on our side now? The jet started to take off and you watch an Natasha continues to battle the Panther. I fell to my side, wiped out.

My father flew into the warehouse just as the jet leaves. You thought maybe he was going to fight Natasha for betraying him. I was wrong. He was coming for me. He landed beside me and dropped to his knees. His helmet closed and I could see the worry plastered on his cut up face. He knelt beside me and gently held me up.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, not really able to make words. He looked over at Natasha, who was looking at us. She had an apologetic look, but I know she doesn't regret letting Cap go. My father let me go and charged off after the jet plane. I lied down, enjoying the feeling of cold concrete against your skin. I closed my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I paced around the living room, driving Nat crazy. I knew that the second my father got home I would be in deep shit. So when Friday alerted me that Tony was home my heart rate went up 29373%. The battle, this fight, it ended worse then I could have imagined. Natasha told me that my father could have died. Rhodey was paralyzed from the waist down. I had no idea if I'd ever see my Pops again. This was bad. Very, very bad.

I slowly walked down the main hall towards the front doors. I was scared. My hands and the back of my neck were sweating. I knew exactly what was coming. Every time I had asked my dad if I could be an honorary Avenger, I got the same lecture. That it was too dangerous, I didn't have the proper training and it's too much for his little girl to handle. Even when I asked to just be a part of the business side of the team, Tony laughed and said no. I've broken a lot of my father's rules, but this was the line. And I had gone so far over.

As I approached the front door, I could hear my father speaking. I heard another voice too. My heart dropped. It was Spider-Man. Why was Spider-Man here? I ducked behind a wall and listened in to the conversation.

"...outstanding job kid. Your fighting technique was on par. And, listen, I know we're not allowed to have kids on this team, but if we need you again, we'll call." I heard my father say.

"Thanks Mr. Stark. This was so cool," Spider-Man replied. I wondered if he had his suit on or not. I wanted to know who this guy was. I revealed myself from behind the wall. The two looked at me. I looked at my father first and fought the urge to burst into tears. He looked awful. His face was all cut up and the black eye he got was still a little swollen. I glanced at the figure beside him and frowned. Spider-Man was a kid. He looked like he was my age. He had a mop of curly brown hair and doe eyes. He was almost equally as beat up as my dad and I gracefully took credit for that.

"Y/n, this is Peter. He's, uh, one of my interns. Kid, this is Y/n," Tony said. My annoyance turned to anger. Now my father was lying to me?

"How old are you?" I asked, eyes narrowing. I knew that I sounded rude, but this kid had kicked me in the face twice. I didn't think he deserved my manners.

"I'm fourteen," Peter gulped. A year older than me. And I kicked his ass, I thought. "You gave me quite a fight back in Berlin."

"Yeah and I beat your ass doing it."

"Speaking of which," Tony spoke up, "I have to talk to Y/n about that. Happy will take you home Peter." Peter nodded and said goodbye to my father. He said goodbye to me, to which I didn't reply. Peter frowned at that as he walked out the door.

My dad turned to me when the door shut. "What," he began, "were you thinking?"

"Well I-"

"No. This is where you listen. Do you know how dangerous that mission was. Do you know how many people got hurt? You saw what happened to Rhodey, that could have been you!"

"But it wasn't" I retorted.

Tony's frown deepened. "That is not the point. You put yourself in serious danger, and for what? So you could feel a little more included? You could have died. This was my one rule, my one ask of you, and your broke it."

"Oh, come on now, I'm a Stark, it's in our blood to not listen to our fathers." My father gave me the coldest look and I shut down. I took a deep breath. "Look, I didn't know that it was gonna be this bad. You know me, daddy, I'm not a fighter, I'm not some hero. You think I would have gone if I knew it would turn out like this? I thought this was just gonna be another one your you and Pops' stupid fights. And yes, I could have gotten hurt, but I think I handled myself pretty well. You saw what I did you that little protege of yours. I beat him to the curb."

"Y/n you were reckless. Peter was prepared for this, he was ready."

"And I still beat him."

"Y/n you're not listening to me. This is why I chose Peter over you. I would have taken you if I knew you wouldn't do something stupid. But you did anyway." And with that he walked away, leaving me, teary-eyed in the front hall.

Tony came by my room later that night to apologize. He said that he was sorry for being harsh, that he just cared about me and I scared him. I knew he meant it and I forgave him, because that's what we do. Besides, it wasn't Tony I was angry with. This is why I chose Peter over you. Tony's words echoed through my head. I knew that he loved me more, I'm his daughter, he had to. But I were jealous. Jealous that stupid Peter Parker got the praise for the work I've wanted to hear for ages. And mad at that stupid spider for being stupid.

This is when I decided that I hate Peter Parker.

[waywardnerd67]

Star Crossed: Shining Star

Summary: Between filming and conventions, Jensen Ackles hardly has a moment to himself. During a panel one weekend he learns that his favorite band’s lead singer is a fan of his. Encouraged by his best friend, Jensen steps out of his comfort zone and reaches out to her on social media. That one decision throws his entire world into a whirlwind adventure. Pairing: No Pairing Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1595 A/N: None

Check out: Star Crossed Masterlist

Jensen Ackles walked into his apartment kicking off his shoes by the door. Thankful to be done filming for the week and looking forward to not having to travel too far for the convention this weekend. He loved meeting fans and performing on Saturday nights. There were some weeks where he wished he could relax in his apartment and not have to worry about traveling.

Deciding a night of Netflix and pizza was in order, Jensen took a quick shower then put on some sweats with a t-shirt. He had settled in with his pizza with The Witcher series pulled up to watch when his phone started buzzing.

“No Jared, I don’t want to come out.”

Laughter came ringing through the speaker, “Jackles, it’s only a few crew and myself chilling at our normal spot. Come out for a little while.”

“What part of no don’t you understand? The N or the O?” Jensen rubbed his forehead hearing everyone behind Jared chanting his name, “Buddy, I’m showered and in for the evening. I’ll make it up to y’all tomorrow night.”

“Fine old man, see you tomorrow.”

He groaned, ending the call and no longer interested in the show on Netflix. Turning off the tv, he walked over to his record player turning on the band he had been listening to on repeat. He discovered Wayward Stars a few years ago when a fan gifted him their cd. They were a hard rock, alternative metal band with lyrics that spoke to the soul. Also, the lead singer was drop dead gorgeous.

There had been late night shoots he would turn on one of their albums listening to (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s voice letting it seep into the far reaches of his mind. As he sat in his apartment alone, he allowed his mind to wander of singing with her on stage one day. Making a mental note to talk with Creation and Rob Benedict about getting her to come to Vegas for SNS. For now, he let the music flow over him well into the night.

The next day, Jensen slept in until he heard Clif knocking on his door. Twenty minutes later, he was walking down to the lobby where Jared was sitting with his eyes closed.

“Hey Jared!” He yelled.

Jared jumped falling off the chair he was on. Jensen and Clif started laughing as he mumbled curses under his breath getting off the floor.

“Not funny and I will get you back.” Jared’s eyes narrowed on him.

“I’m sure you will, big guy. Now, can we get on with our day?”

They had a few interviews at the studio and some meetings before they had to get ready for the concert that night. Since the convention was in Vancouver and there was no traveling, Jensen had agreed to sing that night. He was excited to perform new songs and to be in front of the fans. As they pulled into the studio parking lot, he sighed knowing it was going to be a long day ahead of him.

It was near six o’clock when Jensen arrived back at his apartment to get ready for the night. Once again, he turned on his favorite Wayward Stars song, A Light in the Dark. It was a slower song with beautiful lyrics and then a killer riff in the end. He was in his room, singing when he heard his door open. Only two people had a key to his place and he only needed one guest to know who was walking in.

“Really? Wayward Stars again?” Jared flopped down on his couch.

“I can’t help it that you have horrible taste in music.” He chuckled.

“I like the band… just not 24/7 like you.”

He rolled his eyes, shutting off his record player, “Don’t judge me. Now come on and let’s go hang out with the fam.”

Saturday Night Special was exactly that, special. Especially when they were in Vancouver. The cast and crew seemed to cut loose a little more backstage. He was catching up with Matt Cohen when they called him to get ready to go on stage. Jared and Misha were standing by the stage to watch as Rob called him up on stage.

There was nothing more exhilarating than being hit with a roar of an audience. An electric current steady ran down his body over the next fifteen minutes as he performed. When he walked off stage, as promised, he celebrated with Jared, Misha and others until the early hours of morning.

Their early morning panel was rough as the coffee worked through knocking out the whiskey from his system. The last question of their morning panel came from a young lady wearing a Wayward Stars shirt.

“Love your shirt.” Jensen smiled.

“We get it Ackles, you’re their biggest fan.” Jared jokes.

The fan laughed, “Actually my question is about them. SPN family loves this band since they are fans of the show. Wondering if you ever had a chance to meet them or if they could be invited to a SNS show?”

“Go on fanboy…”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “I would love to meet them one day and have them come perform during Saturday Night Special. I’m forever thankful to the fan who gave me their cd a couple of years ago. Many, many a night their music has kept me sane during shooting. So yeah, definitely would love to meet them.”

“I would love for Jensen to meet them so I can film it and post it on social media for everyone to see him fanboy all over (Y/N).”

The crowd ohhh as Jensen glared at Jared, “Alright, alright… I think we have to get going now. We will see y’all later.”

Waving as they walked off the stage. As soon as they were on the stairs, Jensen punched his friend in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You deserve that.” Jensen could hear Jared laughing all the way to the green room.

The rest of the convention went without a hitch. Monday morning brought a whole new week of filming. Jensen was in his trailer when his phone buzzed seeing a text from Jared.

He pulled up his app, seeing a few friends tagging him in a post from a girl named Addy. Clicking on the YouTube link surprised to see (Y/N) watching him sing from SNS.

“I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Text flashed on the screen, “#1 Jensen Ackles Fangirl”

He sat there stunned for a moment watching the video again. He could not wrap his mind around that she was a big fan of his. He knew the band liked the show, but to think he was perfect? His heart thumped against his chest as his shaking hands typed a message back to Jared.

Jensen took a few deep breaths before typing a Tweet then deleting it. He typed another one and deleted it. The third time he hit post and immediately regretted it, sounding like an idiot. Within minutes he received a notification from (Y/N) on Twitter.

Before he could reply, Jared was calling him, “Are you freaking out?”

“N-No… maybe, yes.” He stammered.

Jared’s laughter filled his ear, “Oh my god I wish I could see your face right now. This is your chance to make all your dreams come true.”

“I’m hanging up now, Jerk.”

“See you in an hour, Bitch.” Jared was still laughing as Jensen ended the call.

He watched the video a few more times and sent another Tweet out to (Y/N) after following her page. He went on all his social media making sure he was following her before realization hit that it seemed stalkerish.

“Jay, calm your roll.” He muttered to himself.

Putting his phone down, he tried to go over his lines for the next scene they were shooting. When he could not concentrate then he buckled, putting in his earbuds and turning on Wayward Stars. His hands were still trembling as he tried to control his fan moment.

Over the next several weeks, Jensen and (Y/N) were chatting all over social media. He posted a picture on Instagram tagging her in holding up her vinyl record.

Finally, he gathered the courage to ask for her number in a DM to chat with her more in private. Since their fans were going nuts over their new friendship. Now they would text each other everyday like they had known each other forever. She would tell him about her shows and cities she was in. He would chat about filming without spoiling anything for her. The only thing he wished could happen was their schedules to sync up so they could meet.

That thought ran through his mind everyday especially when he was at conventions like the upcoming weekend in his hometown. Thursday night, he was on a plane heading to Dallas when a notification popped up on his phone from (Y/N) posting on Twitter.

“Not next to me.” He mumbled snapping a picture of himself before replying to her Tweet.

He knew where she was off too after they had talked earlier in the day. They were still a thousand miles apart but closer than they had ever been since their friendship had begun. Settling back into his seat, he enjoyed listening to Wayward Stars newest song released that week.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

For updates please follow #waywardnerd67fics

Taglist: @waywardbaby​​ @ladywinchester1967​​ @akshi8278​​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @carryonmywaywardcaptain​​ @destiel745​​ @carribear31​​ @whimsicalrobots​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​ @bella-ca​​ @drakelover78​​ @imascio08​​ @mannls​​ @time-travel-bouqet​​ @myinconnelly1​​ @maddiepants​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @sandlee44​​ @destielhoneybee​​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​​ @thefaithfulwriter​​ @stoneyggirl​​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @atc74​​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @mimaria420​

[123goth]

The syndicated man

“Oh, I swear to God, if you don’t start spinning this goddamn instant, I’m gonna smash your glass in and make the toaster watch.” Gripping the edges of my microwave, tightly enough to feel its corners digging into my palms, I growled and gave it a hearty shake. This animalistic roar echoed off my kitchen’s green floors, and another mighty peal of thunder sounded outside.

A flash of lightning painted the room a strange shade of white-olive, the tile catching the glint, and all at once, I felt as though I were the god of storms, speaking my almighty willpower into the microwave that night.

The appliance whirred. It bent to me. And dully, the light came on. The timer blinked. And the leftover pizza began to twirl. And that was that. I sighed, deeply, slumping back against the countertop as the sky finally opened.

The patter of rain filled the building.

This routine could not have come from a sane man, I realized. Sane men did not anthropomorphize their microwaves. They did not threaten to kill their microwaves. They did not inflict psychological torture on their toasters.

Crash!

I jolted. It was that special time of night when the dude in the apartment above seemed to trip and knock everything over. Clank. Bang. Thud! Kaboom! I winced. Was he okay?

“Shut up!” My voice was hoarse. With a long-practiced motion, I pulled the broom from the nearby wall and gave the ceiling four good thumps. And then silence.

I caught my reflection in the oven door. There I stood, armed with a broom, with my shoulders hunched like the world’s worst action figure. I came with a super-hydraulic striped bathrobe, patchy facial hair, and a crooked lip, which healed badly after some guy clocked me in high school.

The microwave beeped. And leaning the broom against the wall, I tugged it open with a grunt to pull out the bubbling grease sponge I was going to eat that night.

I grimaced, knocking the microwave closed with my hip, flicking off the light, and dragging myself into the living room, where I dropped down on the sofa in front of the TV.

The sofa was old, covered in faded brown flowers, and in truth, the television was not much newer. I got them both at the same thrift store—although the attendant would not give me a deal. I wrote them a pretty nasty review that night.

But placing the plate on the cushion to my left, I scooped up the slice in one hand and shoved it into my mouth. My nostrils flared at the sour sensation on my tongue, my taste buds screaming: “No, no, not like this. Anything but this. Just drink actual poison or something.”

I dropped the pizza back onto the plate with a grunt. So much for dinner. I would starve to death.

Michael had been the cook. That night, two years ago, when I sunk into a chair at our kitchen table, my tie already undone, something was boiling on the stove. He had even arranged the alphabet magnets on the fridge to say cutesy shit like, ‘bake the world a better place.’

He did that a lot. I thought it was stupid and told him so, but he was good with words. And I wasn’t.

The little television on the counter was playing a Password rerun.

I should have said something that night. I should have said that whatever was boiling smelled great, or looked good, or that he had worked hard on it. But I didn’t.

“The prick finally did it, Mikey,” I mumbled instead. “He fired me.”

“Oh…oh, it’s okay! We’ll figure it out. You’re good at so many things. You’ll land on your feet.” And he draped two arms over my shoulders, squeezing them tight. But we did not figure it out, and I was not good at anything. And I realize now those were the only two times Michael had ever lied to me.

But screw him. And screw that job. And screw that fridge. And screw the fancy cheeses he kept in it. And screw how much rent that place was asking. And screw me for taking it out on him.

I sighed again. All I did these days was starve and sigh and fight with the microwave. And it was my damn fault. So, I would sit here and feel sorry for myself and mourn for the rest of my life.

Leaning forward, my bones creaking, I manually clicked on the television. Another flash of lightning sparked outside, and the screen came to life in a flurry of static and snow.

Click.

I moved through the channels, one hand on the dial and one on the antenna, twisting it left and right.

Click.

“Romance. The new fragrance….”

Click.

“Italia right in your microwave! New pizza from….”

Click.

“Welcome back to our 24-hour Buzzwords! marathon!”

I could barely see the picture through the fuzz, but the program was some game show from the 70s, complete with a mustached host in a plaid suit.

He dragged around a narrow, wired microphone and made his way through a bright studio, shimmering orange, utterly, sickeningly orange, while a young woman with a sparkling smile, the fabulous Carla, showed off a deluxe dinette set.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms as I slumped back into the cushion.

And all at once came another mighty crash of thunder, a rumbling noise punctuated by dude upstairs, who dropped another pot, perhaps as startled as I had been by the sound.

The rain reached a climax as if it might break the windows. Something bright darted across the darkened sky, an airplane maybe. I wonder if it had been struck by lightning. And I cried out as, with a mighty surge, the television screen flashed and sputtered out, fried. 

“Oh, Christ!” I growled, throwing back my head. The microwave did this, I decided. It had gotten all its little technology buddies to act out.

I slammed the thing with my palm, once, twice, three times, each responding with only a hollow thud. And when this scientific effort failed, I climbed to my feet and dropped to all-fours to crawl around the television’s rear. The frayed carpet dug into my knees as I tugged the extension cord from the wall.

Well, at least it wasn’t smoking, I mused, something of a crude smirk finding its way to my face. Because this was funny. In a sad tragicomic kind of way, this was funny.

Even now, I could find humor in how utterly pathetic I looked, crawling around on my knees with my boxers hanging out, all because I wanted to watch lesser-known game show reruns.

“Work or I’m gonna go back in that kitchen and throw your commander out the window, you hear me?” Leaning backward and sitting on my legs, I waved the cord deliberately before the television screen. And with that, I ducked back down and plugged it into the wall.

I blinked. And all I saw was light, a strange, fluorescent glow that consumed every inch of my vision.

Oh my God, I thought. I’m dead.

I electrocuted myself, and I’m dead.

My feet were planted on the ground. I was standing. I had crawled around to plug the television into the wall, but somehow, I was now standing. And I could not remember getting up.

“Welcome back to Buzzwords!”

I blinked again, and at that moment. I realized the blinding light was not white at all, but utterly, sickeningly orange. And there I was, like a moron, standing at a podium with a smile plastered across my face.

In truth, I wanted to scowl or grimace or something, but I couldn’t. My muscles ignored me. And on their own, my hands came up to applaud.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m your host, Buddy Guy. And we have a great show for you tonight.”

The hell?

“Let’s meet our contestants and get the game underway.” Buddy smiled broadly and walked in my direction.

I found my mouth opening of its own accord.

“Hi, Buddy! My name is John Smith. I’m from Columbus, Ohio, and I want to say hello to my wife, Betty.” These words spilled from me as if rehearsed, without my input, as though I were a passenger in my head (or, as it turned out, someone else’s).

And the absolute worst was that I could not cringe. I could not roll my eyes. I could not grunt or groan at just how saccharine I sounded, nor at the fact that my name was John Smith.

“Welcome, John. Good to have you.” Buddy Guy moved past me like an automaton, introducing a waitress from New York and a wannabe actor, who lived with his beloved roommate William of five years in Los Angeles.

And if I had to choose someone to be from this panel, it probably would have been him, because then at least I would not have a wife named Betty.

But this could not be happening; it certainly was not happening. I was not miming the motions of John Smith from Ohio. It was not 1970-whatever. And so, I truly must have been dead.

This whole illusion was that thing, that thing where synapses fire because your brain is pissed about non-existence. And if I could turn my head, which I could not, I would have peered into the audience to look for departed relatives.

But John stared forward, and so did I.

“Tonight, our contestants are competing for a stunning new kitchen set. Tell them all about it, Jack.”

An announcer from offstage began singing the praises of the sparkling refrigerator, oven range, and microwave that appeared from behind a velvet curtain. The audience lightning-sparkedooo’d and ahh’d.

And by now, Carla had emerged to point at everything, but I barely saw her. Even from this vantage point, unable to move on my own, I could catch my reflection in the oven door.

John Smith was, well, a man, yes, but in a strange, overly generic way. He, and by extension, I, had an average build, brown hair, brown eyes, and a decidedly uncrooked lip, one nobody had ever socked in.

He was the sort of person you might see in a department store catalog, I thought, or in a stock photograph of an office: unassuming and smiley.

But I could not look long.

My head was turning as the unflappable Buddy Guy made his way once again in my direction.

“Let’s reveal our first puzzle,” the host smiled, and taking this cue, Carla pulled out a marker, as if from nowhere, and drew a crude approximation of a gallows on the refrigerator door.

Spinning in a little circle, red gown flashing, she then tugged open the microwave to allow a multicolored pile of alphabet magnets to spill forth from within.

It was just goddamn Hangman, I realized. And I didn’t even get to spin a wheel or anything.

“How about a letter, John?”

“V!” I cried against my will.

Oh great. John sucked at this game.

“Sorry. No ‘V’s.’”

And so, it went.

The waitress guessed a “Y,” and scored a few points. Fishing the letters from the microwave pile, Carla stuck the magnets to the fridge. The actor guessed a number in the form of a question.

I unironically said the phrase “Oh, gee!” when there were no “X’s.”

And at this rate, it took us two whole commercial breaks to get to the unimpressive:

Y_ _  M_D_  Y_ _ R  B _ D.  N_W  LI_  IN  I_

By now, the hanging man was missing only his feet.

This was hell, I thought. I had died, and I had gone to hell.

And I would be terrible at this word game forever, and that was my punishment for being mean to the dude in the apartment upstairs.

And writing that bad review of the thrift store.

And for Michael, who had only ever lied to me twice.

“I’d like to solve it, Buddy!” I grinned.

“Go ahead, John.”

“You made your bed. Now lie in it!”

There were buzzers and bells, and the audience cheered.

“That’s right, John. You made your bed. Now you’re lying in it.”

Buddy smiled at me, and for a moment, a crack appeared, something sharp and sinister behind his cheery expression. His lip twitched, and a flicking tongue, snakelike, nipped the lower part of his mustache.

“I deserve to lie in it, Buddy!”

And somehow, this was pretty goddamn funny. If I could, I would have laughed.

“Onto our next puzzle,” Buddy cut in as Carla knocked down all the letters, leaving them on the floor. She used her bare hand to smudge off the marker.

“Can I have a ‘Y,’ Buddy?”

Jesus Christ, John. How about an actual letter or something? Whatever happened to “A?”

I sighed internally. But to my surprise, Carla reached into the microwave and retrieved the red letter, placing it on the refrigerator door.  John did it. He got one. I felt excited for him.

I squeezed the podium. My hands were working, I realized, and so, overcome, I squeezed, just as tightly as I had the microwave that night, finding again the sensation of willpower.

But by now, Buddy was busy with the waitress and the actor, the former somehow earning a double penalty, which made Carla draw both a head and a body on the gallows.

But when play returned to me, I was able to speak up.

“What the hell is going on?”

The host narrowed his eyes, sniffing the air.

“Guess a letter, John.”

“I don’t know. An ‘A!’”

Sifting through the alphabet pile, Carla placed two magnet letters on the fridge, but she too was giving up her pretense. There was no pointing and smiling. She stared at me with a dour, annoyed expression, as if she could not believe my gall.

“It’s ‘Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here,’” I said.

Which was a cliché, but I was realizing now that if kitsch was going to be my hell, I could at the very least lean into it.

“Well, all right. Thank you for tuning in, ladies and gentlemen. After this important message, John will be moving to the bonus round,”

Buddy said to the camera. “Are we at commercial?”

No one responded. He marched over to me, twirling the microphone cord around his hand. I looked at it and realized it may very well have been the noose with which the poor loser might be strung up.

“You’re not playing by the rules, John,” he said nonchalantly, beginning to use the wire to bind my hands together, tighter and tighter, around my wrists, his grip surprisingly firm.

“Hey! Hey!” I retorted, trying to pull away.

“Don’t be a jerk. You’ll make this harder if you resist.”

“But that’s my problem. I’m here because I’m a jerk. You can’t damn people and expect them not to be jerks.”

“Do you think you deserve to be damned, John?” the host asked me. He cocked his head to one side.

“I think your show is stupid. But I’m finding that making fun of it and John’s wife Betty probably won’t help me win it.”

“You can’t win it, John. The outcome’s already set. This marathon’s just reruns. Your life is just rerun. The same thing over and over forever. Wake up. Eat. Sleep. And you lose every time. So why should this be different, hm?” Buddy dropped his voice low, but all at once, the studio lights flared, and he spun around to face the audience. “And we’re back!”

The soundstage went dark. The cheers stopped, and it was just me and Buddy, caught in a silent spotlight. Another lamp, mounted on a ceiling somewhere in the expanse of shadows above us, shined straight down, casting the refrigerator, the microwave, and the letters, in its fluorescent glow.

“It’s just us now, John. This is the bonus round. You get four letters. You have one chance to go up and complete the puzzle. And that’s it.”

_  F _ R _ _ _ _  M _  S _ _ _

I cast my gaze at Buddy, wavering a moment, before stepping uncertainly forward into the expanse. Although I could not see the floor beneath my feet, just deep darkness, I felt its steady weight as I moved to stare at the blanks.

An eternity passed as I stared. And maybe it had. At this moment, in this place, seconds and minutes and moments, they seemed to mean so little.

I forfeit my soul.

That was it. That was the joke.

I had already done it, I knew. I had become so wrapped in the misery of my own making that I had forfeited my very self to it. And willingly.

Choice. That was it, wasn’t it? I, willpower personified, exerting it in every wrong direction. And so, moving for the pile of letters, hands still bound, I pulled them out the microwave one at a time.

I stuck the magnets in place, whispering the words aloud as they appeared on the refrigerator. And only then, with a definitive nod, did I step back to see my handiwork.

I FORGIVE MYSELF

I awoke on the floor beneath the TV with a sudden, painful gasp.

The dude upstairs dropped something. I stared a good few seconds at the ceiling. And with that, I pressed back onto the carpet and laughed, a full hearty noise, the television set’s extension cord wrapped around my fingers.

Wrestling them free, I checked my reflection on Paula sparked the screen to be safe.

And taking a few more steadying breaths, I moved for my apartment door. I tugged it open to poke my head into the hallway, craning it up the stairwell to the sole unit above mine.

“Hey, pal? Do you need help up there?” 

[maluminspace]

Genre: Soulmate au/fluff/smut

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Female Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Dedicated to: @h0tsos and @5-secondsofcolor

Trigger Warnings: strong language, moderate sexual content

Content: male masturbation, references to blowobs, references to anal sex

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write a soulmate au for a long time. It took me a while to figure out what tropes and stuff I wanted to use but I hope you enjoy what I ended up with! 💕 special thanks to Steff and Alma for helping me with this and putting up with my long rambling plans for it 😂 I love you both 🥰

***

“What the fuck, Luke?” Michael grumbles, pulling his duvet over his head to block out the sunlight. “I don’t have work today… Fuck off!”

He’s been talking about how excited he was to sped his Saturday in bed, all fucking week. There’s not a chance in hell that Luke could be confused. He has no excuse at all to be waking Michael up.

“It’s almost noon, Mike.” Luke huffs defiantly. “You promised you’d help me tidy up the apartment and then disappear so that I can bring that girl home.” He yanks the duvet cover off of Michael mercilessly before dropping it on the ground at the foot of his roommate’s bed.

Letting out an annoyed and frustrated growl, Michael kicks his legs like a stroppy toddler for a moment before finally forcing one of his pretty green eyes open. “I said fuck off!” He repeats, “I swear to god, with the week I’ve had, I would not rule out murdering you today, Hemmings.”

The younger roommate rolls his eyes impatiently, which only annoys Michael even more. “If you murdered me, you’d have no friends.” He states, a tiny smirk playing at the corners of his lips before he turns towards the door. “If you’re not in the kitchen in ten minutes, I’m gonna come back with a jug of freezing cold water.”

Unfortunately, Michael knows that’s not an empty threat. He’d made the mistake of believing his best friend wouldn’t douse him ice water once before… It’d taken him all day to warm up after that incident. He definitely doesn’t want a repeat of it, even if he’d like nothing more than to grab his duvet from the ground and go back to sleep.

It takes at least half of Luke’s stated time limit for Michael to roll out of bed. He wasn’t lying when he said it’d been a tough week for him. After spending the majority of it working with a band he can’t stand, the idea of his ‘duvet day’ had been the entire motivation to get him through.

Needless to say, Michael’s not in the best of moods when he finally sloped into the kitchen a few minutes later. The tiled floor is cold on his bare feet and he growls miserably as he throws open a cupboard in search of some form of sustenance.

“I made you a fruit tea.” Luke offers, gesturing towards a steaming mug on the countertop near the sink. “You can take it into the sitting room if you want, I’ll make you some toast or something.”

Michael scoffs at the kind gestures. “I don’t want your fucking toast. I want something sweet and I want to sleep, but you made damn sure that wasn’t happening.”

“Mate…” Luke sighs, already showing signs of exasperation. “It’s almost midday and the apartment is a dump! I can’t bring my date back here if it stays like this.”

Deciding that a sugary cereal is the only hope to lighten his mood, Michael pulls the half empty box of fruit loops from the cupboard and swings the door hard enough to result in an almost satisfyingly loud bang. “So what?” He asks, grabbing a bowl from the drying rack next to the sink. “I don’t even know why you bother ‘dating’. We’re all assigned a soulmate at birth, right? So what’s the point in trying to make a relationship work with someone you know you’re not ‘meant’ to be with?”

Michael knows that there’s an obvious answer to that question. No one ever knows when they’ll meet their soulmate, there’s no magical clock counting down to that life altering moment. There’s no mysterious tattoos or markings to help you find them either. You just have to wait until you hear that stranger’s voice in your own head and there’s no way on earth of knowing when it’ll happen. The unpredictability of the system means that an individual could spend a hefty portion of their life as a singleton. For this reason, many people choose to ignore the fact that their ���one’ is waiting for them somewhere, focusing on their own sexual and companionship needs instead.

Michael has never been one of those people. Sure, he’d jump into bed with a random stranger from time to time. He never once pretended that the connection would be anything more than physical, though. Most adults have sexual needs and he’s only ever seeked out like-minded people that wanted a quick fuck just to satisfy their urges. His emotions are always locked up and buried deep within him, there’s only one person out there who he’ll ever share them with and he’s still yet to meet them.

“I’m not having this conversation with you again, Michael.” Luke grumbles, handing his roommate a carton of milk from the fridge. “Especially when you’re in such a foul mood.”

Snatching the milk from his friend, Michael pours it over his cereal and grabs a spoon from the cutlery drawer. “Well, who’s fault is that?” The slightly older man snipes. “I’d still be asleep if it wasn’t for you. The least you can do is answer my fucking question.”

Luke’s broad shoulders slump, a dejected gesture that almost makes Michael feel guilty for pushing the subject. He knows full well that he’s being a dick on purpose. Michael has always known that his friend hates the soulmate system. He loathes the waiting and most of all he just can’t stand being alone. Luke’s never been able to keep his feelings in check, it’s like he’s not capable of keeping things casual, he needs a deeper connection. “You know why, Mike.” Luke sighs, “I’ve read plenty of news articles about people that have never found their soulmate for one reason or another. With every day that goes by, I feel like my chances of having a decent amount of time with them, or meeting them at all get smaller and smaller.”

Part of Michael sympathies with his roommate. He’d be lying if he said he’d never lay awake at night worrying that he’d never meet his ‘one’. As much as he’d like to set his bad mood aside and offer Luke some words of comfort, he’s still incredibly sleep deprived and angry. His less than kind words spill from his lips before the better side of him can stop them. “You’re 24, Luke! Get a grip… it’s far too early to assume you’ll never meet your soulmate.”

A hint of rare anger burns in Luke’s eyes for a second before it’s replaced by an all-too-familiar sadness. “I’ve always had this feeling that I’ll never find them, Mike.” He admits, tapping his chest to emphasise his point. “I don’t have the same faith in the system as you do. Dating randomers might not be ideal, but I need more than just sex to get by. I need to feel close to someone.”

The pained expression on Luke’s face finally pulls out a shred of Michael’s decency. No amount of anger or lack of sleep is worth making Luke feel this way. He places his cereal down on the counter before reaching out to place his hand in his friend’s shoulder. “You will find them, Luke.” He reassures gently. “There's no way that I can promise you when it’ll happen but I just know that it will. No one deserves to find their soulmate young as much as you do.”

A humourless laugh escapes Luke as he pulls his friend into a hug. “I wish I shared that certainty with you, buddy.”

***

In an attempt to make up for his earlier behaviour. Michael spends the next two hours working through every chore that Luke asks him to do and more besides. By the time he’s finally ready to take a well deserved shower, he’s pretty sure that Luke’s feeling a bit better about everything. Of course Michael has been sure to drop as many reassuring comments as possible to help dispel his friend’s lingering doubt about finding his soulmate.

Before heading to the bathroom, Michael picks up his phone from his bedside table to check his emails. Even on his days off, he can’t fully disengage his brain from his work. Music has always been his biggest passion, so working in a recording studio is ideal for him. Most of the time he enjoys being locked up in his little room, helping all kinds of musicians accomplish their visions.

This week has been pretty tough, though. A bunch of primadonnas in leather waistcoats and bandannas have spent every day trying to make his life a misery. Luckily, the email that Michael had been hoping for is waiting in his inbox when he opens the app on his phone. His colleague, Ashton Irwin, had messaged to let him know that ‘the fucking band of shitheads’ had fallen out with each other and stormed off, forfeiting the rest of their studio time.

It’s with a lighter heart and a tiny smile that Michael steps into the shower a few moments later. It doesn’t take too long though, for Michael to start thinking over the whole soulmate thing. He’s always had complete faith in the system but that ache that Luke sometimes talks about, the constant weight of doubt in his chest, has started to resonate with the slightly older man.

Maybe I just need to get laid

As soon as the thought pops into his head, Michael convinces himself that’s all he needs. Whenever loneliness starts to show it’s ugly face, jumping into bed with the next hot person he comes into contact with is always the perfect solution.

After making his mind up to head to his favourite bar as soon as possible, Michael attempts to empty his head, allowing the warm water washing over his skin to soothe his mind.

One of his favourite ways to distract himself is, of course jerking off, and it doesn’t take long for his body to start reacting in the typical way once the idea pops into his mind. His neglected cock hardens as he strokes it gently, conjuring up thoughts of some of his favourite recent sexual encounters. The first thing that enters his head is the incredibly pretty girl that had sucked him off in the bathroom of the club he’d ventured to last week, the way her painted red lips wrapped around his long, thick length as he gripped her hair needily. Michael bites his bottom lip in an attempt to stifle his moans as his mind drifts to the hot, muscular guy that had fucked him senseless in his apartment a month or so ago, they hadn’t even made it to the bedroom, both of them too desperate to satisfy their sexual needs to spare the extra seconds it would have taken to reach the comfort of the stranger’s bed. Luckily the man had condoms and lube in the pocket of his leather jacket, meaning that they had everything they needed right there on the couch in his living room. It’s impossible for Michael to hold in the gasp that escapes him as he steadies himself with one hand pressed against the cold tiled walls of the shower cubicle, whilst the other picks up speed, causing all the friction he needs on his achingly hard cock. He knows it won’t take long to reach his climax now as his mind flicks between the girl in the bathroom and muscular stranger, remembering every sensation and every sound from both occasions. The way ‘red lips’ had moaned around his cock as it hit the back of her throat, the way ‘muscles’ had groaned “so tight babe” as he’d rocked his sinful hips into Michael at a relentless speed. A quiet “fuck” escapes Michael’s lips as his finger tips press harder into the tiles. His orgasm is fast approaching when he remembers the way red lips had pulled off of him just long enough to tell him to cum down her throat, her voice scratchy and weak. Her face is instantly replaced with the sensation of muscles’ tongue dragging over the most sensitive spot of his neck.

Why can’t you keep the fucking noise down, asshole, I don’t care about how much you love getting fucked by hot guys…

The voice in his head isn’t the one that usually berates him for being a slut. It’s a female voice, and an unfamiliar one at that. He’s too caught up in the moment to think too hard on the intrusion and by the time he realises that the voice in his head doesn’t belong to him at all, it’s too late to stop. His orgasm crashes over him in the same moment that the new voice adopts a distraught tone.

Holy Shit

Michael spills all over his hand with the fresh realisation that his soulmate is nearby, echoing through his foggy mind.

Did you just… Oh my god!

“I’m sorry!” Michael whimpers out loud, hastily turning off the shower with a shaking hand. “Can’t you get out of my fucking head, while I try to process this and possibly die of embarrassment?”

I don’t know how to, genius! I never expected this to happen today, I… holy fuck, this is so messed up! I just heard you cum and I don’t even know your name, I haven’t even seen your face and you’re my fucking soulmate…

This is all too much. Michael can’t even begin to think about everything that just happened in the last few moments. His soulmate is in his building. The person he was always meant to be with is somewhere very close by and she appeared in his head at the very moment he climaxed thinking about being fucked by the hottest guy he’d ever met. Of all the ways to meet your soulmate…

His head is still spinning as he staggers out of the shower and grabs the fluffy bath towel from the rail on the wall. How on earth is he meant to set this situation right?

I guess you can start by meeting me face to face? We should start getting to know each other if we have to spend the rest of our lives together.

But you just heard me… Michael babbles silently, unable to keep his thoughts in his head. I’m the fucking worst soulmate you could have ever imagined, I…

You weren’t to know. Neither of us were. It’ll make a funny story for your wedding speech, at least!

Michael feels the blood drain from his face as the reality of the situation crashes down around him. His casual, carefree lifestyle has ended, just like that, no warning, no preamble. He’s found his soulmate and his life just changed forever. I can’t meet you face to face now… Michael sighs. Fuck, I wish the earth would just swallow me up right now.

A soft laugh echoes through his mind. It’s not a mocking one or anything, in fact it’s probably the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

So what if I popped into your head when you were jerking off? We all do it… I just want to see you! I’ve been waiting my whole life for this, aren’t you curious to see me too?

Of course I am! Michael groans, padding out of the bathroom and down the hallway to his bedroom. I just… how am I meant to look you in the eye now?

That musical laugh rings through his mind once more as he perches on the end of his bed.

Hey, at least I already know a couple of things you’re into!

Michael knows that it’s meant to be a joke but he groans, still feeling utterly embarrassed. I just wish this had happened differently.

I don’t. I always hoped that when I heard my soulmate’s thoughts for the first time, that they’d be thinking something fun or sexy. You really delivered!

Michael lets out a tiny laugh, still aware that his cheeks are burning. And here I was thinking that was the worst ‘first bonding’ of all time.

It’s embarrassing for you, but hilarious for me! I promise I won’t tease you about it for the rest of your life if you just get your ass to apartment 309 ASAP so I can see what you look like!

You’re lying. Michael laughs, suddenly aware that the bond between his own mind and his soulmate’s is deeper than he first realised. He could hear her faintest thoughts, those ‘barely there’ little wisps of memories, plans or realisations. You fully plan to bring this up once a day for the rest of our lives.

Fuck! I hate that you can hear everything that goes on in my head! I guess we need to do some research on how to control this thing, huh?

Michael couldn’t agree more. He’s been waiting his whole life to find his soulmate, but knowing that this person can get into his mind whenever they’re within a certain radius, is a scary thought. There’s certain things he doesn’t want his soulmate to know too much about, especially so early on in their relationship. Fuck, we don’t even have a relationship yet…

We’ve been assigned to each other from birth, this is destiny. Let’s get this first meeting over with, yeah? I’ll be in apartment..

309? Yeah you said! Michael chuckles, his nerves making it hard for him to control how his words take form. Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right there.

***

“Are you okay?” Georgia, your best friend, asks timidly when she opens the front door of her apartment. It’s an open-plan layout and the living area is still filled with unopened boxes of her belongings and flat-packed furniture. You’re meant to be helping her move into this new apartment but your plans seem to have suddenly changed. “You look pale as fuck…” Your best friend’s grey-blue eyes sparkle with concern as she regards you carefully.

“Yeah… I uh…” you stammer, still trying to wrap your head around what’s just happened. “I just… My soulmate’s coming over here in a minute, as soon as I walked in the building I heard him in my head...”

“WHAT?” Georgia’s eyes suddenly resemble saucers as she leads you over to the sofa in the centre of the room. “Your soulmate lives in this building?”

You nod your head uncertainly. “I guess so, yeah.”

Georgia pulls you down onto the sofa next to her before taking your hand excitedly. “So what do you know about him? When is he getting here? Shit, you need to change your outfit.” She rambles, leaping to her feet. “Come on, I haven’t unpacked most of my clothes yet but I have a couple of suitcases that we can ransack.”

Before you even have a chance to answer any of her questions, your best friend whisks you off the sofa towards one of the doors set into the wall opposite the kitchenette. She’s still muttering under her breath even when the two of you stumble into her bedroom.

“Georgie…” You groan. “He’s my soulmate, I want him to know the real me from the start, he’s in my head anyway, he’ll know that your pretty clothes aren’t my real style.”

So you’re not into pretty clothes then?

“Shit.” You curse, feeling a blush rise in your cheeks. “I hate that he’s still in my head! I cannot wait to figure out how we can control this shit…”

“He’s in your head right now?” Georgia asks, dropping the crop top she’d just pulled from a suitcase onto her bed. “That’s fucking weird and creepy, can he go away?”

You shake your head. “You have no idea…” the very recent memory of your soulmate’s sexual fantasies pop into your brain as you cover your face with your hands. “Wait ‘til I tell you about the moment I burst into his mind.”

Georgia eyes you curiously, perching in the foot of her bed, all of her intentions of finding you a new outfit seemingly forgotten. “What happened?”

As much as you want to share the horrific story, you know that there’s not enough time. Your soulmate will be here any moment and you can’t even panic properly because he knows everything you’re fucking thinking and feeling.

Oh god! Please don’t tell your friend what just happened…

The pleading in your soulmate’s psychic voice is too adorable to ignore or disobey. He’s genuinely mortified by the whole experience, you can feel his embarrassment deep within your own bones as though it’s your own. You really had no idea how fast and deep the soulmate connection would happen, nothing could have ever prepared you for this and you know that your soulmate feels the same, his emotions are finely tuned into yours now.  “I’ll have to tell you another time, Georgie, he’ll be here any minute.”

Your best friend nods understandingly, although there’s a definite note of disappointment in her tone when she speaks again. “So are the two of you gonna go somewhere together? If you wanna stay here, I can stay in my room, it’ll give me an excuse to unpack my clothes instead of putting together that ikea furniture…”

“That’s sweet of you, Georgie but I think we’ll probably go out somewhere. I guess this will be my last first date ever…” You smile, although the fear that stirs up in you is undeniable. You can feel the emotion that it conjures up in your soulmate too, but it’s not quite fear or sadness.

He’s trying hard to hide the real reason for his ambiguous emotion and you don’t want to pry. Being in his head is strange enough as it is, you don’t want to learn things about him now that he’s not ready to share. Despite your psychic bond, you need to earn each other’s trust and the rights to any secrets you both may be hiding.

“Wow that’s got to feel really weird.” Georgia huffs, becoming lost in her own thoughts for a moment.

You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself for a little comfort.

Can I meet you in the lobby instead of at your friend’s place? I’d kinda like our first meeting to be on neutral ground, y’know?

“Whenever I imagined meeting my soulmate for the first time, it was always somewhere beautiful or fun.” You mutter out loud. “Not in the tired old lobby of an apartment building my best friend just moved in to.”

“Hey, this is a nice place!” Georgia argues, her pretty face twisting into a defiant expression.

There’s no reason why we can’t do that. Just pick a time and a place and I’ll be there...

Knowing that your soulmate is in the same building as you right now is so tempting. You want to meet him in person more than anything. Yet, the thought of waiting just a little linger in order to make it perfect, wins you over.

There’s a park a few blocks away, do you know it? You ask, instinctively wondering back into the main living area of the apartment. It’s got a little lake surrounded by blossom trees, it’s always really pretty at this time of year. Could we meet there?

Sure, what time?

Umm, I can be there in a half hour or so, does that work for you?

That’s perfect, should we exchange phone numbers just in case?

You agree and tell him your name and number. The thudding of his heart and the joy he feels deep within him, resonates with you as you take your own phone from the pocket of your jeans. His text pings through just a second later, it’s a simple message consisting of a tree, a sparkly heart and a boy/girl couple emoji. What’s your name, you big sap? You chuckle, the growing fondness in your chest becoming more undeniable by the second.

Oh I didn’t tell you already?

His tone is mocking but it’s entirely clear that his feelings for you match the ones you’re developing for him.

It’s Michael… See you in a half hour, blossom.

***

You’ve been fighting a constant battle against your never since the second you’d walked out of Georgia’s apartment building. Now that you’re free from your soulmate’s unintentional intrusion, you start to allow all of your fears and insecurities about the whole situation into your mind.

Visions of how badly you are likely to fuck this up run through your brain unhindered, during your fifteen minute walk to the park. You’re so caught up in your scary thoughts that you arrive at your destination on autopilot, dropping into the first free bench you find, luckily it’s beneath one of your beloved blossom trees.

You’re only sitting there with your own thoughts for a few minutes before your soulmate’s psychic, nervous blabbering fills your mind. “Michael?” You whisper, your tone a perfect mixture of fear and excitement.

Fuck, you’re here already, blossom?

Yeah, I guess my nerves made me walk faster than I usually would. You’re early too, though!

Yeah… I kinda wanted to beat you here so that I could have a few minutes to think about what to say to you. The least I can do is give you a good first impression when we meet in person, seeing as our first psychic bond was such a disaster.

The embarrassment in his tone is obvious and it almost makes you feel a little sorry for him. It could have been worse. You giggle, your urge to tease him a tiny bit more winning out.

Yeah, for you maybe…You giggle a little bit longer before taking a deep breath. Okay, I’m on a bench under one of the blossom trees. I’m wearing blue skinny jeans and a leather jacket, can you see me?

Shit… Yeah, I see you blossom. I… fuck, how do you wanna do this? Should I walk over and sit next to you or…

Before he has a chance to finish his sentence you scan all of the faces of the people on other benches and those walking along the path in front of you beside the lake. None of them seem to be paying any attention to you but you can tell by the nervousness in your soulmate’s thoughts that he can see you. Without another second’s hesitation, you turn your head towards the little expanse of grass behind your bench.

Your heart stammers in your chest as your gaze is met with a pair of beautiful, albeit startled, green eyes. Some deep, almost primal instinct tells you that this is him. This is your soulmate.

He’s not at all what you’d ever expected. In fact, part of you had always believed you were an exception to the rule, that you didn’t have a soulmate. Yet here is a beautiful, slightly awkward angel of a man who you’re deeply bonded with in every way. “Michael?” Your voice is barely a whisper and there’s no way he’d hear it over the rustling of the leaves above his head and the excited laughter of the children playing near the lake. But he hears you in his head as a bright smile curls the corners of his impossibly pink lips.

Michael nods as he tucks a loose strand of his bleached blonde hair behind his ear. His cheeks heat up under your gaze and he looks much shier than you had expected him to be, especially given the thoughts that you’d intruded upon a little while ago.

A flashback of the horrific moment that you’d burst into his brain earlier, runs through his mind as his cheeks burn even brighter.

Before Michael can apologise, you slowly rise to your feet and force your legs to step closer to him. “You don’t have to be sorry, our first interaction was just bad timing.”

A tiny chuckle escapes Michael as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. “I just hate that that’s the first thing you knew about me.”

“That you like blowjobs and getting fucked?” You reply, giggling again. “I’d have known those things the second I laid eyes on you anyway.”

A shocked laugh bursts out of your soulmate as he frantically tries to think of the best way to respond to your blunt words.

“Don’t worry I’ve filed them away for future reference.” You smirk, loving the way that Michael squirms needily. “We should probably get to know each other a bit better first, though.”

Michael agrees easily, regarding you with a degree of admiration that you’d never experienced before. “Sounds like a good idea, blossom. How about I buy you an ice cream and we exchange childhood stories before we head to the library and start looking into this mind reading stuff?”

Humming your agreement, you make the bold decision to reach for his hand. It’s odd that a part of your dynamic has developed so quickly, but there’s no denying that Michael’s shyness and awkwardness far outweighs your own. That’s not a problem, though, you’re happy to take the lead for now.

Michael gives you a lopsided grin as he accepts your hand, suppressing the trembles that threaten to overcome him as your skin touches his for the first time.

Of course you share the intense emotions and physical effects, but you seem to be able to control them a bit better than he can. You can’t help but find him utterly adorable.

***

Michael still can’t believe this is happening. Less than an hour ago, he never would have believed that today would be the day he’d meet his soulmate. Here you are, though, walking beside him, attempting to eat an ice cream cone before it melts all over your hand.

It’s amazing to him, just how perfect for him you are. Sure, he’s always known that soulmates are chosen for each other based on their compatibility in many different areas, but he’d never thought that it was possible to fall for you as hard and fast as he has done.

“So your roommate, Luke…” You ponder our lout. “He’s your best friend?”

Michael nods distractedly as he focuses on the way that you drag your tongue over the soft ice cream in your hand. “We’ve known each other for years.”

Even if you haven’t noticed the way that Michael’s been staring at you, there’s not a single chance that you can’t hear his increasingly lustful thoughts. He’s faintly aware of that fact but it’s impossible for him to stop thinking about how much he wants to feel your mouth against his.

“Did you tell him about me before you came out to meet me?” You ask curiously, your cheeks turning pink as your gaze drifts to Michael's lips.

The blonde man shakes his head. “He was busy getting ready for a date, I didn’t want to overshadow his moment.”

Your silent awww echoes through Michael’s brain for a moment as he tries to distract himself by eating his own ice cream. He can’t stop the smile that curls his lips as your subconscious yearning to feel his tongue on your skin reaches his mind. It’s closely followed by your embarrassment as you clearly realise that he knows what you're thinking about.

“This being in each other’s head thing is absolutely the worst idea in the world.” You groan, trying to hide your face behind your ice cream as best you can.

Michael’s heart kind of melts at how adorable you look and his urge to kiss you is more overwhelming than ever. It’s clear by the way you hesitantly meet his gaze that you can feel how much he wants it, just as he can sense how much you want it to happen as well. “I dunno…” he smiles gently. “It’s embarrassing and it feels a bit weird, but you have to admit how incredible it feels to be so deeply connected to someone. It’s like… I’ve never felt less alone, y’know?”

You nod thoughtfully as you take another lick of your ice cream. “Yeah… it’s nice to know that we communicate on a whole different level. I’m excited to learn how to control it, though! There are still things I don’t want you to learn about me just yet.”

It feels strange to Michael that there are things you want to withhold from him, albeit temporarily, because he already sort of feels like he knows you better than he’s ever known anyone else. In the hour or so since you’d popped into his brain, it’s like two of you have formed a deep, unbreakable bond, like there’s an invisible force connecting him to you and it’s simultaneously the most exciting and the most terrifying feeling he’s ever experienced.

Maybe it’s that moment of confusion and vulnerability that leads you to take the step that Michael’s been too shy to take since the two of you first met in person. His breath hitches in his throat as you stop walking and cup his cheek gently in your free hand. He knows what's about to happen, he’d have known even he couldn’t hear your thoughts. The intensity in your eyes and the slight tremble in your fingers make it obvious and Michael’s nervous anticipation reaches an all time high in the seconds before you close the gap between your lips and his.  

***

All Your Wishes Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List: @dietcokecalum​ @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @loveroflrh @sexgodashton @megz1985 @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @wildmichaelflower @loverofcashton @irwinkitten @cxddlyash @wildmalumflower @cashtonasff5sos @iovehemmings @lowpowermodex @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @celticclifford @5-secondsofcolor @queer-5sos

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

Bang Chan// Sun and Moon (-light)// Chapter three

Summary: Sun and Moon, different from another, but both unmissable in the world. The sun is warm, it provides daylight. It represents life, strength and growth. The moon, the brightest and largest object in our night sky. It makes the earth more livable and represents admiration, change, mystery and feelings. The sun is untouchable and unreachable, but what if his ,independent, sun(-shine) becomes his world? Tropes: Enemies to Lovers Season: Spring Pairing: Bang Chan X Reader AU: | Delinquent!Female Reader | Vice President!Bang Chan | School!AU | Non!Idol AU | Genre: Fluff/ Angst Word Count: 7,5K Warnings: Themes of bullying, Themes of Abuse, swearing, insults, Requested: Yes (Reference) A/n: For the sake of the fiction, Chan is a twat in the story, but only for imagines purposes only. We all know better than that.

Y/n huffed impatiently as she waited for Chan to arrive finally. She laid her head on the table as the morning sun shined on her face through the windows. He had told her that he would’ve been a little later due to his training sessions, which obviously came with being the star athlete of the school.

She was munching away at the table she and Chan kept claiming every session. She had secretly sneaked some food into the library. The librarian, who knew Y/n by now quite well, let her however, without letting anyone else know of course. Y/n would’ve stayed at the 24-hour library to take a nap, away from home before she was close with Changbin. The librarian, better known as Adelaide. She was an elder lady who was very modernised. She had tattoos of her own that she would love to talk about with Y/n. She would often act like a grandmother to Y/n, something and someone Y/n never had. This was she got to experience that a little.

When Y/n heard a gasp she knew Chan had arrived, the smell of chlorine that filled her senses also giving it away. “Y/n! You can’t eat in the library!” Chan whisper yelled as he was about to snatch it away from her. “I can.” Y/n smirked as she kept on eating whilst looking Chan deadly in the eyes. “Don’t worry, Adelaide doesn’t care, when it comes to me at least.” “Why did she gave up on you already?” Chan joked, making Y/n roll her eyes.

“I came here to study, I also waited for you for an hour and I brought you snacks. So, instead of being a little twat, sit down and let’s do this. I could’ve been done already.” She sighed slightly in annoyance. “Alright, alright. But still I think it’s a little odd to eat here.” Chan mutters, yet still taking the pack of snacks form Y/n’s hands. “Adelaide will be find with it, unless it’s a complete dinner, that she doesn’t appreciate.”

After an hour, Y/n still couldn’t understand the exercise they had been discussing. “How can you still not get it! We’ve been over this already for the umpteenth time!” Chan cried out tiredly. He ran his hands through his now fuzzy hair. He looked like a madman and he blamed Y/n for it, because that what she did, she drove him mad. Especially right now.

“C’mon Y/n, we have class in ten minutes.” “You expect me to get this magically in the next ten minutes, even though we just spent an hour on this one thing.” “Alright, let’s continue this after school then. Because we have a test in a few days and you need to get a good grade.” Chan yawned. “Fine.” Y/n sighed as well as she started to pack up her stuff.

“When are you free?” Chan asked her. Y/n looked at him surprised whilst raising an eyebrow. “I thought I was the one who needed to adjust to your schedule?” She smirked turning his words against him, making him cringe in process. “Y/n I-“ “It doesn’t matter. Just tell me a date and a place.” “Tonight, your house-“ “Uh, rather not my house-“ “Then why did you-“ “Let’s just meet up here again, so that people will restrain me from ending myself, because this shit is getting on my nerves.” She said before walking out to her class.

Chan sighed to himself as the stupid words repeated themselves through his head. He regretted snarling those words to her the other day, but he tried to shake them off as he as well made his way to his class.

“I’m telling you Binnie, this next tattoo will be amazing! I already drew new designs for you!” Y/n said happily as she was on the phone with her best friend. Y/n was set outside once again, on the usual spot. The sun was warm and she was scribbling away in her notebook. “If you could actually tattoo than I would be fighting for my job right now, even Hyunjin talked about teaching you the ways of tattooing.” Bin chuckles. “I mean, I am an amazing artist, you should be quaking.” She laughed brightly.

What Y/n didn’t know was that Chan had been watching her, like a little creep. Well, not really, but he had been staring at her ever since she took place at the table outside. Chan saw how bright she was and how the sunlight complimented her skin. He felt his heart jump a little when he saw he smile again. He suddenly was overwhelmed with his feelings, especially when his friends dropped another joke of him having a crush on her. “No, I’m just wondering how she can lazy around when she should worry about her life.” Chan shot back. The words weren’t aimed towards him, but they stung into his chest.

Why did something inside tell him that he was ‘too good’ for her, that she was ‘below him’ and that he shouldn’t fall for someone like her. He started to argue with himself that he wouldn’t fall for her, but when he looked up to Y/n’s figure once again and saw her smile, his jumping heart tried to prove him otherwise.

In the meantime Y/n was still on the phone with Changbin. “Hey, Binnie, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later? You could be my knight and safe me from my tutoring sessions.” “I mean you could go and use your new knowledge on your tutor-“ “I’m going to stop you right there for the sake of my sanity.” She groans as her friend laughed at his dirty joke. “No, but I guess I can be your rescuer and hang out with you.” Changbin said before he was cut off by her gasping. “I’m sorry Binnie! I forgot that he wanted to study some more in our free time.” She could hear her best friend pout through the phone. “Why do you play with my feelings like that? My producer buddy’s also gone, so you’re telling me that you’re leaving me behind to hang out all night with Hyunjin?” He cried out dramatically. “You would be working anyway. I’ll send you the drawings I made so you can redesign them.” “Fine, fine. But you owe me a complete date. Which means activities, you pay for dinner thank you for offering and cuddles, because I need your attention.” He muttered cutely. “Fine fine, except we’re probably splitting the bill, oh how smart of you Binnie!” She joked, using his tactics against him.

She heard him huff once again before they exchanged their goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Hours passed and Y/n was back at it again with Chan. She magically got her to understand the exercise, they had trouble with before, within fifteen minutes.

“Thank God, because I was going to lose my last braincells due to your stupidity.” Chan joked before getting a notebook thrown to his head.

The two decided after having some banter and studying the session for the next morning in advance, so they could sleep in before school for once after a long time.

It would be nine o’clock when the two started to lose motivation and focus. “Someone’s hungry.” She joked when she heard Chan’s stomach grumble. “No shit, we’ve been in here for hours and your crisps aren’t that filling you know.” “You twat, be glad I brought you some food or I would’ve left you here to starve.” Chan chuckled at her grumpy state and shook his head in amusement.

“Alright Gym Rat, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving as well.”

“Gym rat?” He asked while laughing, taken aback by the sudden nickname. “Yeah, you’re buff as fuck. Now pack up so we can go and eat, or else I’m leaving you here.” Chan was shocked by her words as she stood up and left to wait outside for him.

He was surprised that she noticed and almost complimented his body, but he just told himself that she must’ve assumed what his body looked like through others’ whispers. Or did she actually watch his competitions? So many questions, yet so little answers.

“So, where do you want to go.” Expecting a name of a restaurant being spilled from Y/n’s lips, Chan was yet again to be surprised. “There’s a convenience store not far from here, let’s go there.” Chan was used to girls picking out expensive restaurants whenever they were with him, expecting him to pay since they knew he was too nice and rather wealthy.

When they walked into the store, it wasn’t very crowded. Y/n told him that she liked to come here since people usually liked to go to convenience stores near the river. This store was particularly cute and aesthetically pleasing, it would be a great place for Instagram photos, yet no one seemed to know of it, since it was hidden behind the tall and modern buildings of Seoul.

Y/n would grab a basket and throw many kinds of food in. Two packs of instant noodles, two fried chicken breasts, some 떡볶이 (‘Tteokkbokki’: Spicy rice cakes) that the two of them could share and lastly some beverages. She surprised him even more when she paid for all of it. She went to prepare the food as Chan went to look for a spot and to keep an eye on all their stuff.

He looked around and took the scenery in. It was quite pleasing to the eye and he had to admit that he almost never came into a convenience store. He usually got all his food from at home. Or there would be someone who would get the food for him and his family. He was quite spoiled, but he was aware of it, so it wasn’t that bad, right?

Within ten minutes Chan had devoured the food and was left with only the delicious aftertaste on his tongue and a filled belly. He sat back in his chair as he munched on the rice cakes as he watched Y/n eat elegantly. Compared to Chan, she actually looked like she was enjoying the food, doing little dances after each bite or sip from her drink. He thought it was cute and smiled a little to himself.

The nice lady who owned the store came up to the two and smiled kindly as she gave them ‘service’, which basically mean they get free food ‘on the house’. “It’s nice to see you again Y/n.” She added before walking off again. Chan stared at her, making Y/n burst out in laughter. “I basically live here.” She explained playfully, but shortly before eating again. “It seems like you live everywhere else but at home.” Chan joked, making Y/n stop for a split second to process the comment. She knew he was right, but she didn’t wanted to admit it. So she just forced out a chuckle before eating again, this time avoiding his gaze.

Chan felt the air thickening as soon as the joke slipped out and he felt and physically saw that she got uncomfortable. He felt a pang in his chest, which was guilt that spread through his veins. Y/n noticed Chan tensing up as well. She contemplated if she wanted to tell him about her home situation, but she didn’t. She didn’t tell Changbin until they had known each other for months. Yes, she knew Chan for ages, but did she though? They never spend time together until these past weeks and those meet ups were forced.

She didn’t notice Chan standing up, but jumped in shock when he suddenly sat back down. He held two ice creams in his hand and handed one to her. It was his turn to jump in shock when he heard Y/n gasp and squeal in excitement as she took the ice cream from his hands. She stared at it for a good ten seconds with big sparkly eyes before ripping the paper off it and eating it.

“You must really love ice cream.” Chan laughed in disbelief at her sudden change of behaviour, which relieved him. “This is my absolute favourite ice cream.” She said in between licks. “Really?” “Yes! I thought they stopped selling these, because I haven’t seen them in ages! Thank you, by the way.” She said in a whisper. “Shouldn’t I be thanking you? You literally paid for everything.” “I mean, you’re the one helping me out. Even though I know you don’t really want to and this is all forced onto you, it’s really the least I could do. I would love to treat you in a real restaurant, but I simply don’t have the money for that.” She admitted in embarrassment. She really wanted to show her gratitude, but if only she had a little more money. The money she made at Tattoo Parlour.

“No, no! It’s okay, really. Please don’t feel bad. I really enjoyed the food. It was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. It’s simply but very tasty.” Chan assured her quickly. “Oh please-“ “No, really! I mean, noodles, everyone loves them. Caviar, please.” Chan scoffed making her smile. “Thanks.”

There was a short period of silence as the two avoided each other’s gazes. “Chan?” “Yes?” “Do you find me intimidating?” She suddenly asks. “Why are you asking?” “Why are you avoiding answering my ask?” She smirked slightly, but then soon sighed, because she was already aware of the answer that was about to come out of his mouth, which was ‘yes’.

“Am I actually that intimidating?” “Well, you usually show up in bruises, cuts and other types of wounds. You wear black all the time, you don’t really interact with people and you’re quite mysterious.” “Well, seems like I did caught your eye.” She joked, but she had no idea how hard Chan’s heart was pounding.

“I don’t feel like I’m intimidating though. I’m just, I don’t know, protecting myself.” She admitted as she rested her head on her hand, whilst looking at the guy in front of her. “Protecting yourself from what?” Chan asks, genuinely worried. “I don’t know, people, I guess. It’s the way I look, dress, apparently behave and have behaved in the past that makes people think certain things of you. People assume I’m a bad kid, because I have scars and wounds all over my body, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve beaten up a random kid.” She huffed in slight frustration.

“What are the bruises from then?” Chan asked carefully. “I kickbox and practice Taekwondo in my free time. I don’t really like using harnesses or gloves for kickboxing.” Which wasn’t half of a lie. “That honestly explains quite a lot.” Chan mutters as he felt guilty for prejudicing her. “It’s one of the simple reasons why teacher don’t like me, my appearance I mean. And the shit I did in my pass apparently is permanently burned into their mind, since it’s in my ‘permanent record’. I guess I can’t change their view and thoughts on me.” “Yes, you can and you will with the upcoming test. You’re going to show them that you got this, which you actually do. You understand almost everything perfectly. At some exercises you didn’t even needed me.” Chan encourages, softening Y/n’s heart for him.

Only Changbin, plus his parents, have been encouraging towards her for the past years. It was nice to have someone else to add to that list.

“I just wish some people took some courage or something to get to know me, you know? I really am not that bad, or well I at least hope I’m not.” She sighs and Chan pitied her.

“Then I would like to get to know you, or at least better.” Chan’s words surprised himself as they had the same effect on Y/n. “What-“ “Let’s get to know each other, in the mean time I can change your mind that I’m not a snobby rich kid.” “I never-“ “I know, but that’s what most people think of me when they hear my name: rich, athletic and probably handsome.” He joked smugly as she scoffed out a laughter. “No one says that pretty boy.” “Yet here you are!” He laughed along.

“Well, if you want to get to know me better, then meet me at third period at the ‘Stray Café, tomorrow.” She leaned forward to set the seriousness in her tone, as he gulped loudly at her sudden confidence that she gained out of nowhere. “I have class third period.” He mutters. “If you really want to get to know me, then I’ll see you tomorrow third period Channie.” She winked before standing up to leave.

Chan didn’t know what messed him up more. The fact that she asked him to skip tomorrow, her confidence, the wink or the nickname he used to be annoyed at.

He turned around to see her looking at him one last time, sending him a smile and yet another wink, before stepping out the store.

She sighed whilst shaking her head in amusement, she wanted to see how true Chan was to his words.

The next morning, after the both of them had their test first period, Y/n went straight to the café to clear her mind. The cup of tea in her hand spread warmth from her fingertips to the rest of her body as she enjoyed the spring scenery that was laid in front of her eyes behind the other side of the window.

Third period almost began and she wasn’t anticipating that Chan would actually show up to the café. But to her surprise she heard the bell indicated that a customer had walked into the store, in reflex she turned her head to see what was going on to see a familiar figure walking in.

Chan had changed out of his ‘school’ clothes and wore a leather jacket, a sweater and ripped jeans. Y/n was speechless to see him like that, being used to see him in plane shirts and black hoodies. She kept staring at him as he sat down in front of her, not bothering to exchange the greeting Chan just said to her.

“Earth to Y/n-“ Chan had waved his hand in front of her face, making her snap out of her trance before she cut him off. “You’re actually here?” She stuttered in utter shock. “Yes, I meant what I said. So let’s get to know each other.” He smiled brightly. When she did this trick with Changbin, he showed up as well and she was overjoyed, because she felt like he really wanted to give her a shot at getting to know each other. Yet, all she could feel right now was worrisome.

“Are you sure you want to be here? What about your reputation? You will get thrown off as vice president and I will get the blame-“ “Don’t worry. That’s my responsibility. Besides, you said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk.” He smirked at her flustered state.

“How was your day?” Chan asks, trying to make the girl across him make herself feel at ease with him. But she was still too in shock of his presence and only manages to squeak out a ‘hngg’, making Chan laugh. “So the test went bad?” “No, I aced that- thanks to you though.” She giggled, slowly feeling more comfortable around him. Usually, skipping wasn’t that big of a deal for her, but skipping with her vice president, hit her a little different.  

The two would be chatting away, Chan told Y/n about his childhood in Australia and how he used to fly back and fort a lot to keep in touch with his friends and family. He told her about his dog, Berry, who he loved very much. He ranted about a crazy story where he and his dog would go on adventures as young kids, they would go swimming together in a lake near by his house in Australia and play together.

“…I sure do miss it there. It’s a lot warmer over there.” He chuckled. “I bet, but I think that the summers here in Korea are more pleasant.” “They definitely are, here I’m not worried that my eyebrows will scorch any second.” He joked, making her burst out in laughter, picturing an eyebrow-less Chan in her mind.

Their banter was interrupted by a young-looking waitress who Y/n had noticed staring at them. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but wonder if you were that famous swimmer? Chan was his name?” She asked whilst twirling her hair around her finger, causing Y/n to force her throw up back down her throat. “N-no, I think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else.” Chan tried to convince her, but she was still suspicious about him.

“We should go.” Y/n whispers, they set down a generous amount of money on the table before they left the café. Y/n looked down her arm as Chan dragged her around town, to wherever he was going. His hand had a secure grasp on her wrist.

‘I thought I was the one who asked him to come here, if only people could see him dragging me around like this, they would lose their minds.’ Y/n thought to herself and snickered slightly.

“Okay, so what would you like to do?” Chan asks. “What, you’re not going back to school?” She asked him, thinking he would return for fourth period. “Well, are you?” “No, but-“ “Then let’s go!” Chan cheered.

“What are places you love to go to?” Chan asks her as they sat in the park together, playing twenty-one questions.

“I love going to the park, so props to you, you chose a great spot as well. But I think one of my favourite places to be at all times would be at the beach in Busan.” “Really?” Chan asks. “I used to live there. We also owned this small beach house at the end of the beach where it was pretty much abandoned. My mother used to take me there all the time.” “She doesn’t do it anymore?” Chan asks her without thinking too much of it.” “No, she passed away about two years ago.” Y/n whispers sadly whilst looking down at her feet, resting her head on her knees, that were pressed to her chest in process as well.

Chan felt like an idiot for asking her such dumb questions lately and started to apologise rapidly. “It’s okay, you couldn’t have known.” She assured him with a soft smile, making his heart do weird things in his chest.

“I hate to do this right now, but I have an meeting in thirty minutes which I really need to attend as vice president.” Chan mutters convicted. “That’s fine, I can go back with you to school. I’ll hang out at misses Yu’s music room, since my classes are over anyway.” Y/n offers as she got up. “What do you mean?” “My classes ended after third period.” Y/n smirked. “You’re saying that-“ “I only skipped one period, yes. Yes I did.” She giggled before she started to walk ahead.

When the two had sneaked back into the school, Y/n had disappeared to the empty music room and Chan made his way to his meeting. “Chan! Where’ve you been? We’ve been looking all over for you!” Jisung pants as he came towards him running with Felix on his side. “I wasn’t feeling too well, so I went away for a bit.” Chan lied. “Without saying anything?” Felix asked in confusion. “Yeah, sorry about that but I really didn’t feel too good, I went to the hospital.” Chan added to the lie. “Was it that bad?” Chan would only hum in respond this time. “What did the doctor say?” Jisung asks. “That I was overworked-“ “Doesn’t surprise me.” Jisung laughed, but in the meantime, Felix was a little suspicious of his friend.

“Dumpling!” Changbin exclaimed happily when Y/n walked through the door of his apartment. He tackled her in a hug and the both ended up falling to the ground. “Well hello to you too Binnie.” She giggled whilst hugging him back.

The two would talk about their day, Y/n didn’t wanted Changbin to know about her little skipping-date with Chan just yet, because she wanted to see first from Chan’s side how committed her was to getting to know her. And besides that, she knew her best friend would become whiny and jealous whenever she talked about someone other than him.

“I have some good news!” Changbin chirped as the two fell down on the big sofa in the living area. “What is it?” She asked with big eye of expectation whilst drinking her tea. “My cousin is getting married!” “Your cousin from Japan?” She asked him excitedly and started to squeal happily when her best friend nodded in responds.

The two had bet since his cousin started to date this beautiful Japanese woman, who he was too scared of confessing his love to. The two would watch and listen to the whole journey as if it was a tv soap, feeling very involved into the journey as they heard his mother talk to her sister on the phone about Changbin’s cousin. And now finally after years of him going after this girl, and dating her for two years, they finally are getting married.

“When is the wedding?” Y/n asks with still ecstatic and glister to be found in her eyes, whilst Changbin’s dropped. “It’s in two weeks.” Changbin states, making Y/n sit back in shock. “Wow, he got that wedding arranged fast.” “He’s rich and he couldn’t wait to be married to the love of his life, those things can make a lot happen.” Changbin chuckled, still in disbelief of his cousin’s actions. “Well, when are you leaving to Japan?” She asks him, not feeling the tension surrounding them. “That’s the thing, because my cousin is rich and because he hasn’t seen us, and the rest of the family in a long time, he had invited us over to stay there for a month in Japan-“ “A month!” Y/n exclaimed. “I know, it’s a long time.” “When are you leaving?” She asked carefully, thinking that she could maybe book a cheap hotel to stay away from home, but she might need to safe up for it. “In two days.” He whispers, making Y/n’s world turn upside down.

She could feel herself panic a little. She had no money to stay somewhere else. Changbin wouldn’t be there by her side to comfort her, he wouldn’t be there to take care of her and he was used to his presents after two years of being best friends together, she didn’t know how to miss him.

“I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry. First take a deep breath, I don’t want you hyperventilating.” He chuckled slightly as he scooted a little closer to bring her into his muscular arms.

“I talked to my parents and they also didn’t wanted you to be back ‘home’, so we decided to let you stay here. We’ll give you a spare key and since you know the area and the passcode to the apartment it would be fine-“ “I can’t do that, that’s too much.” “Y/n, please take the offer. I would feel horrible at the fact that we couldn’t have let you stay here where it is safe. I don’t want you to be hurt, okay? This way I can sleep soundly when I’m away from you.” Changbin explained as he brushed his hand through Y/n’s hair. “I-“ “When you’re coming here, take a different route to it every day. Just to be safe. We both know what your father is capable of. If you have to be ‘home’, only do it in the morning. When you leave that place it would be in daylight and I feel like people do less fucked up thing when people could actually see them happening.” Changbin sighed as he hugged her a little tighter.

“Thank you, Binnie.” She softly sobbed into his shoulder, feeling very grateful and blessed to have such a great friend like him in her life. It gave her the feeling that life was worth living for just a little bit, because people like Changbin restored her faith in humanity inside of her.

Later that afternoon the two went out for dinner, that the both argued to pay for, which Changbin shot the ‘with what money’ whenever she stated to pay for all of it. He would, as usual, burst into laughter and receive a pouty sulk from his best friend, who then would take a sad bite of the pizza.

The pair would laugh and have a great time together. They would talk about new tattoo projects, music lyrics and melody inspiration ideas. “I swear! Crunch up some old leaves this fall and make a remix of it! It could become a hit!” She said in a serious tone, but Changbin could only laugh at her wild and creative ideas. “I don’t know where you get them from, but I surely do love them.” He said as he tried to catch his breath after his fit of laughter.

Later they would walk back to Changbin’s apartment, chatting and laughing away as usual, until Changbin received a phone call from someone named ‘Yongbokkie’. Y/n had never heard of him, but shrugged if off since it was none of her business anyway.

“…no I’m already out. Yeah, I’m with someone already. Maybe next time I’m around. I’ll be gone for a while since we’re going to Japan. I’ll see you then when I’m back. Bye!” She heard her best friend say before hung up and made the device disappear into his pocket.

“Do you have to be somewhere?” She asked him. “Nope, you have all my attention.” He grinned before entering the apartment complex to play some video games in is room.

“Binnie?” Y/n later that evening asked. “Yes?” He responds, whilst his eyes are still glued on the game they were playing together, or well he was at least. Y/n died in the first ten minutes.

“Do you feel like I keep you away from others?” The sadness in her tone got his attention and deliberately let his character die, so he could talk with his best friend. “Where is that question suddenly coming from?” He asked her, now facing her. “I don’t know, you always make time for me. It makes me wonder if you think that I’m clingy or something. That I keep you busy or away from other people who you want to hang out with.” “Let me tell you something. That’s not true at all. I want to be around you. You’re my best friend! I love being around you. You haven’t heard this from me, but I think I am a little whipped for you.” He whispered with a smug smile, making her burst out in laughter.

“I love being around you too.” She mutters whilst hugging him tiredly. “Good, because now. Stop sucking at this game and let’s kick someone’s ass!”

Days passed by quicker than Y/n wanted them to.

Right now she was at the airport to send her best friend off to Japan. They had been clinging onto each other like koalas, making his parents and his sister chuckle at their cuteness.

Y/n wanted to be around him as much as she could, before she had to survive a whole month without Changbin, in Changbin’s apartment. How crazy is that?

“I’m going to miss you.” She sighed sadly as she hugged him, it almost being time for him to board his plane. “I’m just a sea away. You can call me whenever. Especially since Hyunjin is probably going to hire temporary staff. You need to keep me updated on those, there’s always some kind of tea to spill when it comes to those.” Changbin laughed to lift the mood.

As they hugged their goodbyes for the last time, Changbin would disappear with his family in the crowd and Y/n would make her way back to the apartment, riding a cab home.

When she walked in, she felt weird of not having some kind of living presence in her best friend’s place she was so used to. Y/n decided to clean up a little before she made herself at home. She was going to live there for a month after all. She still couldn’t thank his parents, and Changbin himself of course, for entrusting her to stay at their home.

Two and a half hours later she received a videocall from Changbin, to tell that they had arrived safely. “I was sat next to this older man and he smelled so bad. I wanted to throw myself out of the plane.” Changbin whined, making his best friend laugh. “Are you laughing at my agony?” He asked ‘hurt’. “Always.” She joked, making him gasp dramatically.

“What are you doing later?” “I have another tutoring session.” Y/n sighed. “Well shit, that guy really has you busy every day, huh?” “Tell me about it.” “And besides that? Or don’t you know yet?” Changbin asked. “Probably, playing around on your keyboard, but that’s it. I cleaned up a little already.” “You know we already did that earlier, right?” “I know, but I usually am already a mess so I got to clean that shit up.” She joked making Changbin burst out in laughter.

“I got to go for now. I will call you later tonight, okay?” “That’s fine. Have fun there! By the way, say hi to your cousin for me!” “Will do! Bye Dumpling!” “Bye Binnie!”

To say that Y/n was bored out of her mind without Changbin was an understatement. She could die from boresome right now. She wondered how she used to survive without Changbin in her life. She missed his stupid dad jokes and his teasing insults.

She played around on his keyboard for a while, but failed to be motivated at it, so she decided to clean up the little mess Changbin had left behind on his desk.

There were papers laying everywhere and she thought it would be nice of her to organise them for when he comes back. Most of them being music sheets and lyrics scrabbles randomly on multiple papers, were probably needed and used in the future.

“’Wow’?” Y/n muttered to herself as she came across a paper with lyrics written on it. She chuckled to herself at the text and quickly put it away before she lost more braincells to the madness she called Changbin’s mess that turned out to be a lot more work than she anticipated it to be.

It did help her to pass time though. Before she knew it, she was back at it again in the library, waiting for Chan to arrive. When he did, he smelled like chlorine again, indicating that he just came back from the pool. “Sorry, I’m late again.” He mutters tiredly. “It’s okay, did you had to dodge your little fans again?” She joked, he only shot her a fake smile before diving into the books with her.

The two were both tired and the motivation was faint. Y/n was throwing little paper balls to his head to amuse herself. When he sighed and went to play the game along with her, they started to laugh together and forget about their tutoring session. As they played, they tried to catch each other’s crumbled papers in the air and Y/n had to keep in mind that her arms were badly bruised and that her hoodie, which was actually Changbin’s, had to stay in place.

Chan had a feeling that he knew the hoodie, as Y/n fumbled with the fabric.

‘It’s from a store smartass, multiple people could have bought it.’ He said to himself, before brushing the subject of his mind.

In the end, the two got hungry again during their tutoring session and decided to skip it for today and go out to eat again at the convenience store. This time, Chan was the one to grab a basket and told Y/n to pick out a spot. This time she went outside, since it was nice and warm and she wanted to watch the sunset.

When Chan returned with a tray full of food, the two started to eat. Whilst doing so, Y/n had noticed the change in Chan’s behaviour. 

‘Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.’

It started Monday at school. The two would cross each other in the hallways smiling, waving and even greeting each other whenever they saw the other. Chan had noticed as well that Y/n seemed to have gotten less into trouble. Which he honestly was glad about, he was tired of scolding her.

Little did Chan know it was because Y/n didn’t had to face her father all day and got to stay at Changbin’s luxurious apartment.

The teachers were praising Chan for his ‘accomplishments’ on toning her down and how he was such a great helper. Y/n seemed to be slowly passing her classes thanks to him. Which he of course was glad about, but he wasn’t listening at all when the adults were talking to him. He was trying to figure out with himself how he could spend extra time with her. He had to admit to himself that he liked being around her. She was very easy going and nice to talk to. She also has a lovely appearance to look at, so Chan wasn’t complaining about his tutoring sessions, anymore.

It was now Wednesday and Chan had sneaked out of his classroom, claiming he had to be somewhere, before he made his way to Y/n’s classroom, which was packed. When he stepped into the room, all eyes were on his. Including Y/n’s, who looked at him confused. “Can I steal Y/n for a moment?” Chan asked the teacher politely, which was an older woman who was smitten for Chan to be honest. And she of course let him. “What’s up?” Y/n asks him when she stood with him alone in the hallways. “Can we meet up after my swim session?” Chan asks, which got her bamboozled.

Was that why he picked her out of class? Couldn’t he had texted her- no he couldn’t they hadn’t exchanged numbers yet, somehow.

“Yeah sure.” She said unsure of his weirdly behaviour. She had her hand rested on the doorknob, the door slightly open as Chan said: “I’ll see you later then.” A slight smirk laid on his lips before he walked off again.

Little did the two know that the whole class heard Chan say that he will see her later. Everyone started to suspect the relationship between the two, which wasn’t in existent, except a platonic one. Sooyun, who was also in Y/n’s current class was fuming with anger.

‘Why would her Channie see her later?’ 

She didn’t think that they would become that close, since she heard the ‘rumour’, which eventually turned out to be the truth, that Chan was tutoring Y/n in her free time. She felt jealous that Chan made more time for that ‘tramp’ instead of her.

‘That’s why he hasn’t come for dinner.’ Sooyun mutters to herself before she huffs once again and started to glare at Y/n, whilst thinking of a plan to win her man back. When the school bell rang, she got it.

She walked up to the teacher with big eyes and a pout on her lips. “Miss, I’m having a lot of trouble with these past chapters lately…”

Y/n fumbled with her fingers as she made her way to the school’s public pool. The smell of chlorine filled her senses, making her eyes water a little as she entered the pool area. There were multiple people swimming swiftly, racing against each other.

She could spot Chan almost immediately. His shoulders were broader than the other’s and his skin was the palest out of all of them. She decided to watch them as they finished edge near her feet. Chan took his goggles off and looked up to her with a bright smile. “You came!” Chan chirped before pushing himself up on the edge of the pool. Her eyes couldn’t help but wander off his figure. His muscular figure caught a lot of eyes, they always said. And now Y/n knew why. His toned chest and abs were almost in her face, making it hard for her not to look down at just shamelessly stare at them.

Chan knew what he was doing and what kind of affect it, usually, had on people, most of them being girls. Y/n played it cool and acted unbothered, which surprised Chan. Most people would flirt a little or at least be flustered, yet here she was, acting like it was nothing to her.

“You wanted to talk about something?” She asks.

He was yet again surprised by her reaction. He started to stutter like he did many times before at her confidence. Felix oversaw the whole thing. He saw how his friend got flustered and started to act like a fool. When Chan had walked away from Y/n, Felix asked him what that was all about.

“I’m hanging out with her.” Was all that Chan would say to his friend before quickly hopping into the showers.

“You suck!” Y/n yelled in victory as she smashed Chan’s ass at the game, they were playing in the Internet café where they were sat. “You’re so good at this what the hell.” Chan exclaimed in shock, whilst Y/n proudly flipped her hair off her shoulder, making Chan laugh along. “My bestie taught would be proud.” “Did she teach you?” “Yes, he taught me well.” She giggled when Chan’s face stiffened in embarrassment. “Sorry I assumed-“ “It’s okay. Do you dare to go for another round?” “Oh! Watch me!” Chan said confident before picking up the controller again.

“Oh stop sulking.” Y/n teases as Chan paid for their food. “I can’t believe you beat me. I’m usually a pro when I play with my friends.” Chan whined. “Well, that just means they suck more at the game than you already do.” She giggled whilst sticking her tongue playfully out to him.

The two would sit across each other in silence for a while as they ate their ice cream.

“You know, I don’t know about you, but this kind of felt like a date to me. And I know that it probably isn’t, I just wanted to say that it does feel like one, or at least I think so.” Y/n chuckled. “You think so? Or you know so?” “What?” “If this feels like a date or not?” Chan explained. “Oh, I think so. I honestly have never been on a date before.” She admitted softly in embarrassment.

“Really?” Chan asked genuinely surprised. Y/n only shook her head in responds to confirm her own statement. “Well, then I will take the responsibly to take you out on an official date. Just as friends though, but I will give you the ‘real’ experience.” Chan’s mouth spoke for him before his brain could process it. He felt his heart speed up and his hands sweat.

“I beg your pardon?” “Let me take you out, so you can have the actual experience. What do you have to lose?” Chan grinned as he looked at the flustered girl in front of him. “Alight, but under one condition.” “Which is?” “No kissing.” “Fine by me.” Chan winked whilst still grinning.

The night ended happy and Y/n made her way home with a grin stuck on her face. She walked an extra long route so she could enjoy the fresh air and the lingering feeling of happiness a little longer, but that soon was to be spoiled when a heavy familiar voice boomed through the streets and called out her name.

She sighed and grasped herself to get ready for what was coming next. Which she sadly knew all too well.

Gif Isn’t mine.

[mvrcutios]

— INTRODUCING:

➺ Alexandre Preston as  M𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔬

Hi everyone! I’m Olivia, 24 from the pst timezone !! I love romantic foreign films and every incarnation of Skam ever created. Also, tik tok. Way way too much tik tok. This is my interpretation of Mercutio (loml tbh), Alexandre! A pretty boy with charm and brains and you bet your ass he knows it. Portrayed by the beaut that is Maxence Fauvel,  i’m genuinely filled to the brim with muse for this boy so, without further ado, time for the main event! (as he prefers to be lbr )

name: alexandre henri preston

age: 21

birthday: July 28th, 1998

gender: male

pronouns: he/him

degree: double major of business & music composition (father currently aware of the 1st)

zodiac: leo.

languages: fluent in french & italian, attempting to swear in russian and japanese.

hobbies: piano, cello, running, sex, parties, reading

vices: whiskey, gin, socialites, card games, fast cars, midnight symphonies, menthol cigarettes

pinterest is here !!

the aesthetic: Dom Pérignon, lipstick stained shirt collars, blue eyes with darkened circles, menthol cigarettes, 2am melodies on a piano down the hall, bruised knuckles, hotel balconies, strobe lights and heavy bass, macarons flaked in gold, lips pressed to cheeks, 3am club invitations, lingering eyes, too bright smiles, bitten bruises soothed with a tongue,shattered mirrors, ripped fingernails, screaming into the silent night, laughter whispered into skin, pills pressed to tongues,  platinum amex cards, chewed on pens, eyes growing distant, texts left on read, ink over his heart for his maman, naps under campus oak trees, flasks sipped in a lecture hall, hands on hips, backs, and his own throat.

           ➺ but what is in a name?

➺ { Alexandre } : The french translation of Alexander. Defender of Man. The irony of a name is not lost on him, nor the man who’d held it. He was named for his maternal grandfather, a man who had sold his soul (and his eldest daughter)  for money, power, name, all under the guise of the importance of family. A name meaning man of honor. Certainly a strong name for a boy who’d been born to rule a soiled throne, but content to find ways to sneak sweets from the kitchen, trick a smile from his mother as she stared out the window yet again. But defenders are not born, no.They are made, and from the moment blue eyes opened for the first time he was destined to be just that. Made. Into his father’s visions, his mother’s dreams. And Xandre is no fool. All he wants — no, rather. All he desires from life is simple. Everything.

➺ { Henri } Ruler of households. Once again nothing but irony for a boy who grew up wanting for nothing in life, but knowing the expectations were to be just that. A leader. Who would be the one to tell him that the throne he was set to rest upon was built on the blood and bones of the lesser fortunate? More importantly, who would teach him to care?

➺ { Preston } Meaning priest, settlement, enclosures of God. Carried to England from Normandy after the great conquest. A name befitting to the family who in some circles considered themselves holier than most. Gods among men. Who turned whiskey to gold, words to bank notes, and blood into power. If you were a Preston, people knew it. And what could be better than that?

   ➺ for he  is the devil in every detail                

➺ ( + ) He was a boy of pressed shirts and dark windswept waves. Blue eyes that sparkled of mischief and peels of laughter that echoed down marbled halls. He was Alexandre Preston, a boy with the stars in his eyes and the world at his feet. Who when he smiled, his entire face lit from within and led to that hint of the  devil sparkling just so from that gaze of his. Who smelled of citrus and whiskey and a bite of mint. Who adored beauty, in life and what it had to offer him. A man who’d grown into his looks and was taught by a wise mother just how to use them, a well placed kiss to a cheek or brush of skin, eyes meeting across a room enough to give them what they desired and more than ever, what he craved. He was tall, dark and oh so handsome, and knew how to get just what he wanted. Born with his father’s intellect and drive for more, padded by his mother’s beauty and ability to wield it for the weapon it could be. It made him anything but a bore, a useless first son too afraid to grasp what was before him. No, Xandre knew his fate. But in the meantime, he lived his life how he chose. If dearest dad was none the wiser, well. What’s the harm?

➺ ( + ) But let’s go back to the beginning, shall we? Born on a warm evening in late july, Alexandre Henri was destined to be the only child of Simon Preston and Violette Dupont. A product of two passionate individuals and a loveless marriage, Xandre’s mother was the eldest daughter to a man of debt. The Dupont family had in name what they lacked in capital and with a marriage between Violette and Simon, had everything to gain. Xandre’s birth was a bright burst of fleeting color for a mother who felt caged into the world she’d sold herself to, doting on the little boy and doing what she could to leave him with a part of her, a piece of her own waning soul. Where Simon was boastful, she was wicked, demure. Where he was aggression, she was soft sighs and whispered curses. Two sides of  what lead to be a machiavellian son. Destined to rule with a gilded fist and fleeting, passionate heart.

➺ ( + ) He was put into lessons as a boy to dwindle that energy that thrummed with his every step, sports and arts and languages but they were fleeting moments of time, hobbies cast aside once the obsessive grip of his mind released them. But his mother’s love of piano rang true to his blood, picking up the instrument even with some difficulty. It bothered him so, to have something he couldn’t master with minimal effort. It required a honed drive, a passion and ethic to create something magnificent through nothing more than hard work. It fueled him, the boy almost manic with the late hours he spent alone in the sun room, fingers dancing along keys and cursing with every missed note. As he grew, so did the realization that it was not something you could master. The great composers themselves went mad with trying. It was a never ending race, and one he still holds steadfast this very day. It is as much a part of him as anything could be. Alexandre is meant to be a leader, Alexandre blows thousands on parties and card games, Alexandre needs music like air to rattling lungs. His current double major at Ashcroft is a direct result. If he’s to live out this new version of day to day, he’ll do as he pleases. As long as his father remains where he belongs, ignorant as the rest are.

➺ ( + ) if music was a stronghold, most everything else in his world was a passing fancy, aimless ways to spend time and money and have fun in this life he was so destined to lead. High school meant parties and fun, learning the intricacies of the body and passion as girls and boys alike came and went from white rumbled sheets. For his mother had taught him to wield beauty for what it was; a weapon. And oh, did he learn with the best. A university career begun at Oxford (if only to spite his father), where the real fun began, nights spent in club after club until the sun rose again, liquor fueled nights of passion and fun, barred from certain clubs and embraced at others, heavyweight card games and street races with a bottle of dom in hand. Started a gambling ring in his dorm hall until the RA caught wind a year later. (But he eventually joined, so no harm no foul) He was at an all time high, never fearing the inevitable crash to follow. He welcomed it like an old friend, navigated the highs and lows with a long learned finesse. Now in Edinburgh, he chases the residual high with his normal vigor, finding drinking buddies to waste an evening with, occasional bodies to slip into his too high thread count sheets.

➺ ( + )  The very definition of love ‘em and leave ‘em. Xandre doesn’t do true relationships, has never truly given his heart to someone in any form. He doesn’t believe in it, the type of love that makes people do such foolish things. He does foolish things just fine on his own, heart be damned. He can be passionate, charming, attentive lover at the best of times, possessive fool at the worst of times. He loves to feel desired, wanted, needed even. But never aims to be someone’s entire world. That type of need, that type of love does nothing but wound. And every wound he will ever have will be of his own creation. Has had more than a few flings, even reoccurring instances of women or men a few times in a row. But the connections are shallow, surface deep. You don’t need to witness his soul to get into his bed, afterall.

➺ ( + )  It was all a beautiful distraction from the blood that stained every letter of his name. His cousin was allowed to live in blessed ignorance of the family means, but Xandre, he was thrown headfirst into the lion’s den and came out grinning, the truth of it never leaving past blood stained lips. He isn’t resentful of that fact. A part of him feels it was always meant to be this way. If his cousins were the sun, he was the endless night, the whispers of shadows and secrets meant to withstand. For he could take it, surely. Right?

➺ ( + ) while his fate may be anything but up for debate, he is anything but a too willing participant. Being at Oxford meant enough distance to gain a bit of the freedom he craved. The night his father was arrested, Alexandre was doing what was normal, even on a tuesday evening. Partying at a local hotspot four bottles deep in champagne and whiskey, pills pressed to lips in between fevered kisses of a woman who’s name escaped him the next morning. Sweetened black coffee in hand as he watched his phone buzz over and over, the news blaring the headline of what he’d always known would come to fruition. But his father was still kicking, and so the heavy head who bears the crown was not yet his own. So he went about his day, his week, his months. Until, octavia.

➺ ( + ) his cousins were the siblings he’d never had, and for a man who doesn’t truly believe in intricacies of love he loves them with all he has in him. Wolfie the brother he’d craved, the two stirring trouble with every laugh as they raced down the cavernous halls of their homes. Days spent listening to his whispered dreams, his own a hollow echo in response to the passion that thrummed from his cousin’s. The lectures of his poor influence never bothered him, his role had always been rather set after all. The shadow to the sun. Was he ever to be a leader? Possibly. But he was never born of the responsibility and dreams that lingered over his cousin, never expected to amount to anything rather spectacular beyond the built business reputation and blood that soaked the name Preston. He was too impulsive, too passionate to have it beaten from his bones, just always a little too much.

➺ ( + ) And Octavia – she held a special place in his heart. Daddy’s little girl, it was easy to see how she could bat her lashes and smile her smile and let the world fall at her feet. He admired it, respected it even. Game always has to appreciate the game. She and her brother leaving for Ashcroft was a blow he hadn’t anticipated, for they’d always had one another, the two musketeers and the girl who fought to be anything but a shadow. It was an unfamiliar ache, missing them. And with Octavia now gone, that ache has grown tenfold. Morphed into anger for what he knew she was up to, for somehow somewhere, she’d pissed off the wrong people to where even the Preston name couldn’t quite save her soul. But her essence is everywhere, haunting the halls and whispering in ears. It’s all so very dramatic, so very her. He’d pour one out for her if he didn’t think she’d simper about his distaste for wasted wine. Her spirit was a mild comfort, a balm over a roughened wound. a bigger amusement than anything, a middle finger to those who’d ended her bright existence. A Preston knew how to fuck you over, that was made all the more clear with each report of her sightings. And god, did he love her for it.

➺ ( + ) and that at the very crux of it all, is what has brought him to ashcroft. A new scene for parties, new faces, and a remaining cousin who could use a shoulder to lean on. & those all look lovely on paper, but the fine print? Always read it carefully. For the smiles and charm are all Violette without a doubt. But the danger that lingers, the passion and fire that fuel his soul and border on the precipice of mania? Alexandre is Simon Preston’s son, that was never to be denied for long. And someone has wronged them all, taken things they had no right to take. Someone he considered to be a part of his heart. He doesn’t take kindly to such things, and so to Ashcroft he’s come. He is passion, recklessness, a hidden grief fueled by fleeting love wrapped in a shiny veneered package. He’s here to revel, to discover, to maybe even punish. If deemed necessary. Blood will always be blood, and for a man who’s always willing to go a little too far? It is all that remains.

➺ ( + ) as for what has qualified him for such a prestigious society upon his enrollment well, that is a mystery to some and a hard headline to others. His family’s connections? His relation to Wolfie? His letters of transfer from his classical composition professors back in London? As far as Xandre is concerned, it’s nothing more than a certain Oberon Ashcroft seeing he has a role to play, and one he plays rather well. Unassuming at first, a disarming charm soothing the blunt edges of his words. He says what he feels, and what he knows must be said. And due to that, he knows his worth, what he brings to the table. Knows how poorly it would look if he hadn’t been inducted. He brings a good time, a laugh, a chance to rebel against the societal norms and oppressions that leak from every pore of Ashcroft. But he also brings a weighted name, a wicked ability to decipher through the purple prose people can preach, to the truth at the core of it all. And he plays a mean Chopin, what can he say?

➺ ( + ) there is no way to wrap up all that he is, to summarize a man who is nothing short of a dichotomy, a symphony in fractured parts. Perhaps a jekyll and hyde of his own making, two heads of the same beast he wielded within his soul. for there was something to be said of being seen, eyes drawn to your every move, to feel the power of being adored, desired, craved. He is the devil on your shoulder, crooning saccharine words and screaming in triumph in a breadth. A gleam of mania tinging those baby blues when he pushes just so to get his way. He is that very symphony, a concerto who’s pace continues to drive faster and faster, upward and onward until its very PEAK, a cacophony of beauty and agony as notes ring out, clash, COLLIDE. and then, the briefest moment of silence. He has discovered the distractions his body can wield, but also the power to be found in stillness, in silence. At his lowest he craves it, aches to be surrounded by masses just once more to drown out the roaring in his mind, to draw it to ecstasy, to blissful silence. All leading up to the final, ringing note. Before the applause, of course. never deny yourself the applause. That had always been Lesson One.

                          ➺    A LETTER TO OCTAVIA:

Tavia —

Where do I start? You always knew how to make an entrance, tav. should’ve figured your exit would be the same. But…why the fuck wouldn’t you call me? Why wouldn’t you tell me the extent of just how bad shit had gotten so quickly? You knew no matter what I said, or how I complained or warned you off to be careful I would’ve been there in a heartbeat. You didn’t have to do this alone. I should’ve seen that and come the first time you called. Don’t haunt me for that. And that police chief mentioned a baby, Tav. You never– me of all people would have understood. You were the only one I ever told about Clara, how my dad paid her off. You never judged me for him, you understood. Let me get wasted and cry it out in that shitty suite in London. We could have made a club of it, you and me. Poor little Rich kids with secret kids. Poetic, no?  Poetic justice is bullshit in hindsight. And I just really, really miss you.

I’m sure everyone in these letters are telling you the reasons they adored you, how they’ll never forget you, the wild memories they’re sharing with you, that they say they’ll never forget. I don’t need to say all those things. You know I do, and you know I won’t forget. You’re a part of my heart, as battered and shriveled as we liked to joke it is. But apparently death makes us sentimental fools, so here’s this for you, because it’s 4am and the memory won’t leave my mind no matter how many times I close my eyes. That summer we spent, all of us, vacationing in that house on the riviera. Remember? I spent the day running around the grounds with Wolf and we’d laugh and tease like elder brothers do when you’d seek us out, pouting those lips and crocodile tears until we included you in our games. But when the sun set and dinner was long gone, you’d drag me into the tea room with that baby grand in the corner and demanded I play. You always were a determined thing, you brat. But you’d smile that smile and even I couldn’t fight the urge to sit and play your favorites.You sang along and danced and danced and danced until you were breathless with it. Only you could make dancing to britney fuckin’ spears look like an artform you know? You’d call me your co-star, and never let me hate myself for the mistakes, never laughed if I stumbled on a note. You were my biggest supporter that summer, but I was only one of your many adoring fans. That’s how it was supposed to be. That won’t change, I promise.

( A few tears stain the edges of that previous paragraph, angry, bitter droplets that he wipes away and slips the paper further to defend the onslaught of them. He sighs deeply, clears his throat. )

And look at you now, huh? Haunting your friends and your brother with the best of ‘em. Leave it to you to find a way to remain the star of the show even in death. I can see how it’s unravelling them. The ones who look too pale to be innocent, everyone here has a fucking secret. Thanks to you maybe we’ll see them all sooner than later. And what fun that’s gonna be. But do me a favor and haunt some hot freshman for me, will you? Whisper sweet nothings of my beauty in their ears, make it a good one. I’ll owe you one. You know I’m good for it.

I’ll watch over Wolfie. Of course I will.  I’ll get him piss drunk at that club you mentioned last time we talked, bring a few lines and a bottle of dom all just for you, gorgeous. I’m here now for him, for you. I’m here for what I should have done from the beginning. If you had to leave him —had to leave us, it won’t be for nothing.

I miss you, cherie. Visit me tonight in my dreams, alright? You can dance for me, I’ll play you a song.

We’ll make it a happy one, for old times sake.

                                                     -Xandre

[brittysaucefanfic]

A Fate Unclaimed

Part 24

(First)(Previous)(Next)(Last)(AU 1)(AU 2)(AO3) 

Lance is shocked awake by a pain in his side.

He collapses onto the ground, from where he had been sitting up, and coughs as he tries to recapture the breath just stolen from him. Lance groans as he peels his eyes open, head pounding like a drum. It takes a minute for his vision to stop swimming, but when he does he knows he’s screwed. In front of him stands a man with a demonic smile and a sharp face, presumably the one who knocked Lance out, as well as the huge, one eyed man who can take down five opponents at the same time without breaking a sweat.

They stare down their noses at Lance, smiling, but not in any way that seems friendly.

Lance struggles to sit up with his hands bound behind him, and thankfully the two scary dudes allow him to do so with no resistance. Lance looks around him, trying to see if he’s the only one from the Quest party captured, or if all of his friends were too. The sun is setting, barely visible through the tent flaps, far out on the horizon, but that’s all there is for Lance to see.

Good news, none of the others were captured. Bad news, they could still be dead for all Lance knows.

“So. The sneaky birdy finally wakes up.” The one eyed man says. “You were asleep for a while there, I was beginning to get worried.”

Something tells Lance he’s not being honest about the worry. “Sorry to disappoint, but Hades won’t have me so easily.”

“Not a disappointment, it’s a relief! Though for you to be Greek is an interesting turn of events.” The man replies. Lance’s eyebrow twitches, and somehow he knows that little comment is supposed to bait him, but he won’t fall so easily. Instead of responding, Lance tries to concentrate.

The Glow is a fickle thing, only showing up when Lance least expects it.

Some days, the good days, there won’t be a single person in the camp with the Glow around them, sparing Lance the headache from looking at all the power coming off of the demigods. Other days, Lance is near bedridden, overwhelmed by all the color piercing into his skull. Drained from trying to ignore the urge to follow those with the most color around them.

Lance has never tried to willingly see the Glow, but if the things Macaria said to him were true, then now is the best time to start learning to control the strange ability.

“Not going to respond?” The man says, almost sounding like he’s pouting. “It’s rude to ignore people you know. Why don’t we start over, introduce ourselves, break the ice and all that.”

“You knocked me out and tied me up, why would I want to break the ice with you assholes?” Lance retorts, unable to help himself. The one eyed man laughs, something deep and booming and slightly sinister coming from deep within the man’s chest.

“Fine I’ll start. My name is Sendak, this here is Haxus.” The man, Sendak says, all cheery and smiley, before his entire demeanor shifts and his lips are curved into a scowl. “Now what’s your name brat, and why were you spying on our camp?”

“It’s rude to call people names you know.” Lance says, mocking Sendak. “Because of that, I think I’ll keep my name, thank you very much.”

Lance looks at Sendak, trying hard to force the Glow to appear. The problem is, he’s never done it before so he doesn’t know how to make it appear before him. Every time the Glow decided to fuck with Lance, he just wakes up and it’s there. Is there some way he can make it appear at will?

What’s different from when he sees the Glow, to times like now, when he doesn’t?

Lance shuts his eyes, trying to remember the first time it happened. He was young, he knows that, and it was before he learned Spanish at his new, and last, foster home. That of which eventually became his actual family when they chose to adopt him after all. The first time it happened, Lance thinks slowly.

If he’s remembering correctly, he had been angry, and tried to run away from the family he loves now. He doesn’t remember why, he just remembers feeling like he doesn’t belong, and running away to find the place he did. He was so young, no more than seven years old perhaps. He had gotten as far as the gas station on the corner, crying the whole way. He remembers sitting underneath the streetlight just in front of the gas station, when a man found him.

There’s nothing remarkable about who the person was, or at least to Lance there wasn’t. He could only see the bright green glow surrounding him. It was brilliant, blinding, mesmerizing, as the Glow always is. But all Lance remembers after that is when he got home, and was swept up by his family who were so worried. Not long after that, Lance was adopted.

What about the most influential times, the times where he couldn’t resist but to follow whoever the Glow surrounded?

Obviously there’s Macaria, who shone so brightly Lance couldn’t break free from the trance until she did something to let him go of it’s hold. Shiro, and Allura, they were pretty mesmerizing the first times too. Allura especially. She had just appeared out of nowhere on the camp’s beach, walking out of the water like a sea goddess rising from the waves. And she was so brilliant, blue and gold coming off of her in waves, blinding Lance. Up until the point where she attacked him and held him face first to the ground with his arm as leverage. And then there was Shiro, who had returned from a quest soon after Lance first arrived in camp.

It was like watching him walk around engulfed in flames, the Glow not quite as tamed as it is for most others. Shiro’s Glow was wild, furious, exotic. Gold and purple fighting against each other for control, neither of the colors allowing the other to shine brighter for long. It took almost a year before the Glow tamed around Shiro, and Lance still can’t figure out why. Something changed in him, one day he was wild, gold and purple battling it out. The next day the Glow was calm, gentle. Soothing.

Don’t even get him started on when he saw the Glow of Apollo for the first time. Damn near knocked him out.

So what was the common factor for these times? What thread connects all of these experiences with the Glow? Macaria told him that he needed to master the Glow, or the Glow would master him. He doesn’t know what that means, but he should heed her words. She came to him to warn him, but she never said about what. She talked about her sort of adoption by the underworld, the tattoos she bears being her way of using shadows.

And she made some comment about Shiro he isn’t sure he’s ready to believe, but that’s beside the point.

Lance can remember feeling kind of like he was dreaming. His body felt relaxed and his mind was clear, and everything he looked at looked brighter, maybe a little smudged. Like when you wear glasses and smudge the lens, and everything looks just a little off too.

He can totally replicate that feeling.

Maybe.

Lance relaxes his muscles until the ropes aren’t quite as tight as before, but not loose enough to simply slide off with no effort. With a deep breath he lets his mind clear, and opens his eyes to see if his efforts paid off. And boy do they.

Sendak, the one with a missing eye, is shrouded in black like a cloak of darkness, little gold strings dancing through the darkness. Haxus with the demonic smile is much the same, but the gold is more visible, his Glow not quite as dark. Lance is so shocked at what he sees he doesn’t even have time to celebrate his first time invoking the Glow of his own free will.

It seemed as if Lance had spent hours concentrating, but only a few seconds must have passed, because when he opens his eyes Sendak’s scowl grows furious and he sends a boot into Lance’s gut. Lance collapses in on himself from the force of it, hacking and coughing, trying to regain the breath he was forced to let go of. When his coughing stops, Lance takes a deep breath and promptly regrets it. A sharp, agonizing pain flares up the right side of his chest, making Lance’s body convulse in the ropes binding him. It takes a moment to pass and he has never been more relieved in his life.

“You wanna try that again brat? What is your name? Who are you? Who sent you?” Sendak spits, quite literally as saliva hits Lance on his cheek, Sendak invading Lance’s personal bubble with every syllable that leaves his mouth. Lance cringes in disgust when he meets a face full of bad breath.

“Good gods.” Lance wheezes. “Do you not brush your teeth dude? That’s like, basic hygiene, why would you do that to yourself?”

Sendak closes his eyes and breathes harshly through his nose, right eyebrow, which is split with a small scar on the edge where it isn’t as noticeable, twitching. Oh boy, Lance pissed him off. Sometimes his ability to piss people off really pisses Lance off.

He gets a fist to the face for it.

Lance groans on the ground, spitting out a glob of bloody saliva into the sand. “Geez, sorry for worrying about your health my man. Won’t do it again.”

“You are starting to piss me off you little brat.” Sendak growls, as if Lance had poked the sleeping bear.

“Starting to?” Lance questions. Why can’t he keep his mouth shut? “You look rightly furious to me buddy. Like a puppy trying to act like a full grown wolf.”

“Why you little-”

“Sir?” A new voice chimes in nervously from the tent flap. Lance leans to Sendak’s left to peek at the newcomer. The man’s face is blocked by a helmet that only shows his chin and mouth, with an upside down and elongated triangle for eye holes.

“Woah, how do you even see out of those things?” Lance blurts. The helmet guy’s lips open and close, before he awkwardly replies, which shocks Lance. He wasn’t expecting a reply.

“You get used to it.” Helmet Guy says.

“Is there something you need, soldier? Or are you just looking to die a bloody death?” Sendak threatens, barely turning his head to address Helmet Guy. Helmet Guy tenses and then snaps his feet together, raising his arm in a salute.

“Sir, there’s an Iris message for you.” Helmet Guy says. “It’s important sir.”

Sendak turns back to look Lance in the eyes. “I’m not done with you brat. Haxus,” Sendak commands. Haxus doesn’t salute, but he does incline his head a little. Strange, are these two of the same rank or whatever? And soldiers for what? They don’t exactly use modern weapons, so they can’t be military for the United States. Besides Sendak’s Glow is too ominous to be human.

Oh wait, Lance thinks to himself, the glow is gone. When did that happen?

“Make sure this brat doesn’t escape.” Sendak finishes, and Haxus does actually salute this time.

Sendak sweeps out of the tent, a cape Lance hadn’t noticed before flapping behind his armor clad form as he walks out. Wow, this guy is really going for that whole Disney Villain look. Haxus secures Lance’s bound hands to the center post of the tent before leaving as well. Just before the tent flap closes Lance can see Haxus stand guard outside.

Oh well, Lance has done a lot of war games. He can get out of this, eventually.

******

(First)(Previous)(Next)(Last)(AU 1)(AU 2)(AO3)

[lvckpicks-blog]

( jung yoonoh, cismale, he/him, 24. ) — alexander "lex” khang, better known to the media as eros has been working for the yōkai for around six years. rumor has it, he can be ebullient & versatile but also cocky & licentious which is why he makes the perfect safe cracker.

you can find a picture of the mask he wears during heists HERE & HERE!! though he’s customized it so that the led lights change frequently.

hi wow hello!! i’m caitlyn, 24, she/her, cst timezone. and honestly?? i am in fucking AWE of every single one of you ?!!!!!! from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking interest in this rp & for being as encouraging and positive as you have been. words cannot express how grateful i am for each and every single one of you ?!!! whenever this idea came to me, i didn’t think it would ever take off like it has & the out pour of love and support i’ve gotten is absolutely incredible. i could go on and on for hours about how much i seriously do appreciate it, but i’d turn into an emotional lil bitch and ain’t nobody got time for that so moving on !!

this is lex, he’s a mess and a half but honestly.... i can’t ever play characters that aren’t a trashy mess with an even worse backstory so here we GO!!! there’s some basic stats, bio, personality and basic af plot ideas under the cut so if you’d like to plot like this or hmu!!!

TW: mentions of alcohol & death. ( car crashes / house fires )

general information.

full name: alexander khang. nickname(s): alex, lex. date of birth: october 31st, 1994. age: twenty-four. nationality: korean. spoken languages: english, korean, chinese, japanese, french, spanish, german & russian. gender: cismale. pronouns: he / him / his. sexuality: bisexual. faceclaim: jung yoonoh ( jaehyun ) of nct.

background.

hometown: ulsan, south korea. current residence: tokyo, japan. financial status: upper class. occupation: safe cracker. family connections: tba.

extra information.

myers briggs: entp-a. ( the debater. ) enneagram: eight. ( the challenger. ) temperament: choleric. moral aligment: neutral evil. hogwarts house: slytherin. sin: wrath. virtue: pride. zodiac: scorpio. element: fire.

biography.

born and raised in korea.

parents spoiled him and his sister to death and made sure both of them had everything they needed to be happy.

however, whenever him & his sister were young, they lost their parents to a house fire and they were forced to go into the foster care system.

he wouldn't allow him & his sister to be separated, so they ended up being in the system for a long time until an american family took interest in both of them.

and before they even realized what was going on, lex & his sister were being shipped off to the states to meet their new family.

things were... different there, their new parents still spoiling them to death but everything around them was completely new and strange.

n bc of that, and because of the fact that lex couldn't communicate with his new parents, he began to rebel.

he started sneaking out of the house, breaking into places he shouldn't have been in.. going to parties even when he was underage and all sorts of things like that.

but he took an affinity to anything that had to do with picking locks, noticing that it kept his mind focused all while continuing to be able to 'rebel' in various sorts of ways.

after that, he focused on that, buying locks of all sorts until there wasn't a thing he couldn't break into.

however, the standard locks started to become boring, technology starting to be more and more prominent in the world so he started to teach himself how to hack as well.

not just into things, but how to 'pick' technologically advanced locks and everything like that.

he started to become so interested in that lifestyle, that he went to trade school for it.

but what he didn't expect was to meet someone there in the process, lex falling head over heels the second he laid eyes on them.

and god, he was smitten. ready to marry them within six months of meeting them. after proposing on a date and them saying yes, things were starting to kick into gear.

soon after, the wedding was planned and a date was set, but the wedding would never happen and lex wouldn't be able to spend the rest of his life with them.

his fiance was taken from him in a car accident, one he blames himself for to this day because they were headed to meet him to talk about the possibility of adopting a baby bc they couldn't have one & bc lex knew what it was like to be in the foster care system and wanted to be able to pull someone else out of that situation.

after that, alexander began to let his grief consume him, finding his home to be a bar stool at the nearest bar, drinking his sorrows away until someone practically had to carry him home.

that's when he met the mastermind of the crew, the other being nice enough to drive lex home from the bar one evening due to how intoxicated he was.

the mastermind happened to catch onto the fact that lex was very much into picking locks, into breaking into things that 'couldn't' be broken into and so he offered lex a job. quick money, no one would know it was lex at the end of the day and a reputation that'd soar for years to come.

it was then that lex's life started to turn around ever-so-slightly, becoming the best ( and only ) safe cracker that the yōkai had ever seen.

he started to grow happier, or so it seemed.

lex started to hide his grief, started to pretend he was just a happy-go-lucky goof ball on the outside while continuing to drink himself to sleep at night just to be able to get some sleep at all.

but he tried to control it as much as he could, tried to keep it inwards and not let it effect him or his job, and he never did.

alexander was/is a completely different person when he's on a heist & when the crew is all at HQ together.

the only person that knows about lex’s sister and fiance is the mastermind, though he does often send big chunks of his cuts to his sister so that his niece and nephew can remain happy, healthy and equally as spoiled as he and his sister were.

he doesn’t talk about his past life, nor does he really like opening up so very few people can see that there’s a grieving person behind the goofy exterior he tends to have.

personality.

hides behind a wall of sarcasm, cockiness, and lust.

doesn’t really care to get to know people and had a tendency to push people away before they get too close to him. because he really… doesn’t want to get hurt again & doesn’t want to put them @ risk.

but will also tease and mess with literally everyone.

wears glasses to read and mess w computers, but hates them a lot and probably won’t wear them if people are around.

is …. stubborn as hell and refuses to ask for help with anything.

his motorcyle and cars are literally his babies ??? like he ?? has a problem ??

a hotmess

loves halloween so much?? he gets so hype for that holiday it’s unreal.. even if it is his bday.

fluent in a lot of languages, picked them up so that he didn’t need translators for heists n such.

lowkey worried that people will figure out that he’s actually v hurt inside because that’ll cause him to start having to deal with his feelings again, and he doesn’t wanna do that.

is the biggest flirt you will ever meet?? like if he’s speaking 2 u… its usually flirty as hell unless it has 2 do w business or he’s just known u for centuries ?

will try to get everyone to go to bars n parties with him because that’s his life in a nutshell ??

hella nerd on the inside though like owns so many comic books, loves to play video games, read books, plays piano / violin & all that jazz.

super, super intelligent. could probably work @ nasa but instead he decided to do what he does & he honestly… ain’t complaining.

drinks..heavily..  like every night?? it’s a problem tbh.

he cares… god he cares so much about people and the world but he pretends to hate everything because it’s easier than letting people in.

full of horrible and cheesy pick up lines and jokes and frequently texts people said pick up lines and jokes.

owns a book that is full of nothing but blank pages and keeps it on his coffee table because he ‘relates’ to it.

is a highkey hoe but he keeps it on the dl

super into fitness as it’s a way to keep him away from drinking every evening. ( that doesn’t work lol )

loves boxing so much and can be seen at the gym quite a bit.. also has bruised knuckles 24/7 because of it as it’s a way to take out his aggression and feelings out on a punching bag?

speaking of… anger issues af. well... grief turned into anger.

actually super kind and caring once you’re able to see get past his wall?? which is really hard to do due to his job but if u do it he’ll cherish u.

has a bad habit of smoking whenever he’s stressed out, which is usually all of the time so he smokes…. more than he should.

highkey into cuddling and all the cute shit like that but would literally never tell a soul because then they’d see that he isn’t such a hardass.

is a burnt cupcake who has really good intentions but has extremely horrible execution skills. ( and no i don’t mean the violent kind bc he’s actually v good @ that )

plot ideas.

bad influence. ( on your muse. )

best friends.

childhood friend.

confidant.

current hook up(s).

drinking buddies.

drunken hook up.

enemies that used to be friends.

enemies.

exes who ended on bad terms.

flirtationship.

frenemies.

friends that used to be enemies.

friends with benefits.

good influence. ( on lex. )

hate sex.

one night stand(s). ( past & present. )

partner in crime.

party buddies.

past hook up(s).

ride or die.

trouble makers.

unlikely friends.

[acupofmatt-blog1]

I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore → MARA :(

Tagging→ @acupofmatt @acuplara

Location→ Lara and Evie’s apartment

Date→ February 16, 2019

Summary→ Lara comes back into Matt’s life with a simple text. Old Matt might’ve replied, but Matt’s different now, so she goes to Lara and Evie’s apartment to confront Matt. Turns out, Lara’s a little different now, too.

NOTE: This is painful as fuck

LARA

i just wanna let you know im back in the city and im sorry for the shits i did to you before ok? i know we aint gonna be chill rn but thats ok i can handle it. i just want you to know im sorry and everything. i hope youre good n shit Shrugging her shoulders, Lara hit 'send' on her phone before tossing it onto her bed. She knew that her being back in the city after months was going to cause some waves with a few people, but she did not have it in her to care. Her fingers gripped the zipper of her suitcase, unzipping it before she began the journey of unpacking her clothes. Her time away with family that she hadn't really met before had been humbling. She was under the watchful eye of her father for most of the time, which meant she was hardly under cause to misbehave like she normally would have outside of the US borderlines. Now that she was back? That was a different story. However, she wasn't an idiot. She knew that her biggest problem was going to be with Matt, and for good reason. Whenever Lara had left, she knew that she had ended things horribly with the girl. She was scared and quite frankly, her sudden departure to Singapore with her father was something that sat wrong with her for a while. It was wrong. It was mean. It wasn't her. As time passed though, Lara realized it was probably for the best. Matt deserved better than someone that was going to flake because things were growing serious. Shaking her head, Lara gripped her emptied suitcase before she was exiting her room to store it in one of the hallway closets. Her roommates weren't going to be home for a while, and it was more than a good enough time to spend some quality time with the joint located in her pocket.

MATT

Matt was on cloud 9. Things were looking up for her. Reagan decided to give them a chance. They weren't official or anything, but Matt was committed to making them work. She wanted this. A new start. Whatever past mistakes she made in other relationships, Matt was not going to bring to this new, potential one. No lies, no leading on, no hot and cold, no communication, no walls--no. Matt was still the same, but emotionally? She grew the fuck up. It took her a while. A long, long while, but Matt liked where she was. After Lara left, the first few weeks, Matt didn't sleep with anyone. Because Lara was going to come back. It was a test. And Matt wasn't going to mess up this time. But then? Weeks turned to month, then months. And Matt knew she wasn't coming back. So she slept around. A lot. Way too much. Matt held it the fuck in. Until she couldn't--because Matt wasn't that girl anymore. Matt allowed herself to feel. So then she laid it on the table: Lara left her. Lara wasn't coming back. That's when Matt cried to herself for a while. Until she got over it. It helped not seeing Lara. It made it easier to forget how she felt. And then things changed. Matt met Reagan and there went Matt again--putting up walls. But she couldn't. Matt was different now. She couldn't put up walls to Reagan. Things got complicated, but now they were here. Getting somewhere. Matt could really see things looking up for her. Then her phoned chimed.

Matt expected it to be Reagan. They had been texting since Matt got home. But no. It was Lara. Matt dropped her phone when she saw the text. What the fuck. Matt's first thought was to run away. Hop a flight to Chicago and never hear from anyone ever again, but Matt wasn't a little bitch. She was going to deal with this. Once Matt read the message, Matt realized she wasn't a little bitch--she was a BIG bitch. And she was pissed. Three months. Nearly four. And this is all she gets from Lara. The months of pain, of crying herself to sleep, of waiting, of longing, of anger...and all she gets is "sorry for the shits i did to you?” “Are you fucking kidding me?” Matt asked aloud with a bitter laugh. “Fucking unbelievable.” Matt could leave it on read and move on. But no. Lara couldn’t even say what she was sorry about. Was she even sorry? Sorry that she left? Matt said it was for “understandable reasons” that Lara left but what was the reason? Matt did EVERYTHING right. Matt owned up to her mistakes and worked HARD to fix them. Lara just leaving was not an “understandable reason.” And Matt needed Lara to know that.(edited)

So Matt grabbed her phone and bag and headed to Lara and Evie’s apartment. Matt hadn’t been here in months. It felt like a distant memory. A memory she could barely remember. Matt scoffed. Fuck the sentimental bullshit, Matt was pissed. Matt immediately knocked on the door and as soon as it opened, Matt’s breath hitched when she saw it was Lara. Lara. Her firefly. Her Lara baby. The girl Matt was a little fool for. The girl Matt was in love with. The girl Matt called her fucking fresh start. The girl that left her. Twice. The girl that broke her heart. The girl that almost made her quit on love. Matt composed herself and looked straight at Lara. “Sorry for the shits I did to you? Do you fucking call that an apology? We need to fucking talk. Because I do that now. Not that you’d know anything about it.” Matt pushed past Lara and stepped inside. Matt had balls when she needed them.

LARA

As Lara lit the joint in between her fingers, she managed to walk around her apartment. She needed to get reacquainted with everything, and the best time to do that was whenever Evie wasn't home. Truth be told, she had been home for almost 24 hours, and most of that 24 hours had been spent with all the talks and conversations and catching up's between her and her best friend. She was out of the apartment now, so Lara was having some alone time. She puffed on her joint as she made her way into the kitchen, living room, and landed back in her bedroom. God, it was almost pathetic the amount of memories that were located in such a room. So many fights and make ups and happy memories lay within the four walls and honestly, it was suffocating. She felt bad for the way she had left things with so many people, and quite frankly, she was happy to be back. She was better. She was braver. She was... apparently expecting company. At the sound of the knocking on her door, Lara put her joint out, leaving it laying haphazardly in the ashtray on her desk. She would revisit that little buddy later on. "Coming," Lara shouted, unsure of what was going to meet her. Either Evie had forgotten her key, there was some strange surprise Postmates driver for her, or someone had gotten word of her being back. Or... "Um..." Lara mumbled as she opened the door, immediately hit with the fiery words of the one and only, Matt Solis. She hadn't expected her to show up at her door. Maybe she wasn't as brave as she thought she had become.

"I admit the delivery could have been better," Lara started as she sighed out her words, pushing the door to a close before resting her forehead against the material as she waited. She hadn't prepared for this, and quite frankly, the slight buzz that her smoking had caused was clouding her judgment. "I... do you want to start or should... I?" She paused momentarily as she turned around, meeting the eyes of her ex... girlfriend? Things had been murky on what they were before she had left but god, they had been something beautiful. "You look.... pissed, look I'm sorry, Matt. I don't know what else you want me to say here." Her words flowed quickly out of her lips as she stared at the girl before her, knowing that she was the one in the wrong here.

MATT

God, Matt both wanted Lara to shut the fuck up because the shit coming out of her mouth was aggravating her, but she also wanted her to say MORE than whatever bullshit she came up out with. "I am pissed. I'm pissed about a lot of things, actually. You know, I thought seeing you again I'd be this big, stupid ass fool running to your arms again, but ha, you got me fucked up. I'm angry. I'm upset. You..." Matt shook her head. "I don't want your apology, Lara." Matt looked at Lara. "I want you to say to my face exactly what you did. Say that you left. Say that you fucking walked away. Say that you're a fucking hypocrite. Say you're just as bad as I was for just. saying. words." Matt felt her eyes well up because God this was a lot happening right now. "And fucking say you're a coward. A big fucking coward who couldn't even talk to me, but fuck yeah...you could fuck me, right? You fucking ate your words, Lara. I was just another body to you, in the end." Matt shook her head. "So go. Own up to your shit. Because I'm not leaving until you say something." Matt wanted to scream, if she was being honest. Matt wanted to break down in tears and just sob because why would Lara show up now? When things were getting so good for Matt? When Matt was finally becoming better? "You have a lot of fucking nerve sending me a simple text like that when you did more than that. You...let me tell you how I felt. I felt like shit. I felt abandoned. You didn't even--you couldn't even--" Matt felt her lower lip tremble and Matt forced herself to hold it together. "I felt like it was my fault and that I did something to mess it up since most of the time, it was always blamed on me. That I wasn't ready. That I was the one that put up walls. That I was the asshole who couldn't give such an amazing girl a chance....so tell me."

LARA

The more that Matt spoke, the more that Lara felt her defenses crumbling. She knew that she was the one in the wrong between the two of them, but knowing and admitting were two very different things. However, Matt was right. Matt was right about every single thing that she was saying, and Lara knew that. "Matt," Lara started before she was raising her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. She really wished that she hadn't smoked before Matt had showed up at her apartment. Things were far too hazy for her to genuinely discuss and paint a picture of how she was feeling about things. "Can I just... can you just give me... a second? One fucking second." Her voice was short and curt, knowing that she was more aggravated with herself than absolutely anything that Matt was saying. "I left. I walked away. I'm a fucking hypocrite. I'm a coward. I'm everything, okay? I saw a way out whenever it came to going to my cousins wedding with my dad and I went with it. Leaving was easier than dealing with... I don't know, trying? Trying to make things work whenever I was going to be a world away. I don't..." Lara paused for a second as she swallowed hard, looking down at her hands as she began fiddling with her fingers. "I don't know what the fuck I was thinking whenever I left, but I just know that I am sorry for how I left things. You don't have to believe me for even a fucking second, but I just need you to know I am sorry. And I-I..." Another pause. Lara brought her hands up, running her fingers through her hair as she looked anywhere but at Matt. It was easier to ignore the rising feeling of panic if she wasn't looking at the girls tear filling eyes.

"I never want you feeling like shit or abandoned or... or any of that shit. I never wanted that but I just... I don't know. It's not your fault. Nothing about this is your fault because you were... you were perfect. You were doing everything possible to make me feel safe and secure and I ruined it. And I know I did that. And I'm sorry for that. I don't know... what happened in my head to think that it was fine leaving, but I did. And now we're here and I just..." Lara paused once more as she wet her lips, throwing her arms out at her sides before shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not asking for anything. I just... thought you should know directly from me that I was back. I didn't want you hearing from anyone else or seeing me out or... or I don't know. I'm sorry I sent just a text."

MATT

Matt closed her eyes as Lara spoke because she was trying not to glare at Lara. Granted, Matt wasn't being very chill at the moment--Matt was still working on the whole execution of talking about feelings. But she was trying--more than she could say about Lara who gave her yet another bullshit answer. Matt took a deep breath as she looked at Lara. "I felt it. And for a long time, I acted like I deserved it for the shit I put you through but I don't--I didn't. You know what I deserved? I deserved for you to talk to me. I deserved you to fucking tell me you couldn't do this. I deserved you to not be a fucking coward who runs away. That's what I deserved Lara." Matt took a good look at Lara. It was the same girl physically. Same Lara. But everything else? It felt like looking at a different person. Matt didn't know who this was. Her Lara? No. Not that Lara. It felt odd. It felt like talking to a stranger. And what a tragedy that was--to have so much history with a person and for it to go back to being strangers. "Don't call me that. Perfect. I'm not. I'm working on being better. I'm not perfect, but I was so ready to try to be better. For you. For me. For us. I had so many hopes and you broke them. You tore them up. I was ready to give up on love completely because I thought nothing could compare to you. Ever. You were it to me, is that what made you run away? Did it fucking scare you that someone wanted you so badly?" Matt felt tears running down her face. "Did it terrify you that someone changed for you? That someone loved you so fucking much that they were willing to do anything to have you. I was a god damn fool for you Lara, and you stepped all over it." Matt paused. Lara just ran away. Things got scary and she ran. Much like Matt back then. But it was more than that.

When Matt slept with Scout, Matt was compared to Lara's mom. That Matt was no better for leaving. And then when Matt physically left to Chicago after telling Lara she loved her, Matt was once again no fucking better than Lara's mom. Made her feel that same abandonment. Well, this time, Matt felt a lot like Lara did back then. And Lara? Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And the realization hit Matt like a pile of bricks. "Jesus..." Matt trailed off as she put her hands on her face and sniffled. "Lara..." Matt sighed. "You...you're..." Matt sighed again. Matt couldn't say it. How could she? It was a lot. It was heavy. It was the truth. And Matt didn't say just words anymore. And Lara had to hear this. Because this is how Matt felt. And Matt was still so god damn angry. “You’re still not admitting to anything. You’re just saying my words back to me. But when are you going to fucking admit that you’re exactly like your fucking mom?” Matt spit out. “You’re just like her. You leave…every time it gets hard. And you gave me so much shit for it when I did it. But you? You do the same thing! The moment things are great for us—that fucking…that terrifies you. So you leave. But you don’t fucking let me GO.” Matt let out a shaky breath. “You cling onto me, still, and then you come back and pull me back in and I fell for it every. damn. time. I’m done. I’m not going to be used anymore. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not that fucking Matt. I’m not your fucking princesa anymore. Because this time around I’m trying to look out for myself and by doing that, believe it or not, I’m looking out for you. So can you at least fucking admit that, Lara? Can you at least admit you’re a flake who can’t stay for me, but you’ll still hold on for dear life? That you leave and make me sit around and wait for you to do it all over again. I’m your fucking drug Lara…you only come to get your fix and then you leave…I’m not doing that anymore.”

LARA

With every passing word, Lara felt herself shrinking in size. Not physically, but mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. She knew that everything Matt was saying was right. She had changed everything about how she was with relationships to be good enough for Lara and Lara ruined them. She sighed heavily as things progressed, knowing that she was the epitome of a fuck up. She had left Matt with no word and was now going to have to face the consequences. She knew this and there was no arguing that. However, whenever the conversation flipped into something more, something heavier? Lara's eyes immediately switched to Matt. Her eyes bored onto the girl's face as her eyebrow raised at Matt's words. When are you going to fucking admit that you're exactly like your fucking mom?

The words felt like ice being thrown on her body. She felt like she was going to be physically ill with the way her body was heating up with anger. "Get out." Lara said, her voice soft as she closed her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief. "Get the fuck out, Matt. Get. Out." Regardless of the truth that could be lying with the girls words, there was far too much residual pain from her mother leaving her and her father for Lara to begin to sort through. Much less, hearing the words coming from someone like Matt. She knew that she had said a thing or two about Matt being just like her mother whenever she had left before, but it was a different form of malice in her mind for Matt to be throwing her words back at her. Throwing her life experiences back at her. "Get the fuck out of my apartment, Matt. I'm not fucking kidding. Get out. And fuck off." She felt tears stinging her eyes as the words circled around her head, mudding the way that her thought processes were working. Her mother had left because there was something better for her lying in the form of another man other than her own husband, not because she was scared. It was something that, if in a different mindset, Lara would have been able to clarify about, but instead, she was resulting in anger. Shutting down. Despair. Regardless of what it was, Lara felt like she was about to break down in the fiercest of ways and the last person she wanted around for the show was Matt fucking Solis.

MATT

This always happened. Matt opened up about something--something honest and real--and Lara kicked her out. The last time? When Matt told Lara she slept with Scout and leading Lara on to something neither understood yet. This time? Because Matt told Lara something Lara needed to hear. Just how Matt needed to hear Lara tell her months ago the pain she felt for what Matt did with Scout. For taking Scout back. For leading her on. For saying just words. For never letting Lara in. For always being emotionally unavailable. Matt listened--it hurt like a bitch, but Matt still listened. But Lara? When she heard something too true? She resorted to either running or pushing you away. Matt chuckled dryly. "That's familiar. I've heard that before. This is you pushing me away but the moment you start to miss me and need that fix? You expect me to come crawling back." And a part of Matt hated that this was true.

"I don't expect you to admit that truth to yourself. I'll leave, Lara. I'll fucking go. But don't expect me to be that idiot that crawls right back to you. The moment I step out of this fucking door, I'm gone. I'm no longer...I'm not yours anymore. Because you can't even give me closure--or maybe this is fucking closure. Seeing you for who you really are." Matt voice cracked as she felt tears coming down her cheeks. "So if you tell me to leave again...I'm gone. You don't get to have me anymore. I just want you to know that." Matt shook her head. "It kills me to say that. It does." If Matt was going to leave, Lara had to know. About Reagan. And why walking away from this. Their history. Their tragically beautiful story...it was a little easier than she thought it would be. But maybe it was also because she saw Lara clearly this time...and she felt like a fucking idiot. And she didn't want to feel that way anymore. "I found someone, Lara. So don't think I'm coming back to you. You fucked up. And I deserve to be happy and if you won't even give me this...closure? Fine. But at least you can see yourself for what you are." Matt walked towards the door slowly, waiting to see if Lara would stop her.

LARA

Lara tipped her head back as she heard Matt beginning to speak again, wanting more than anything for her to stop. Everything to stop. She needed a breather or twenty so that she could deal with everything that was getting thrown at her. She needed things to take a moment. Take a seat. Take a break so that she could catch up to everything that was happening. Matt was being so brutally and painfully honest with her, and all Lara could do was freeze up and ignore everything that she knew was most likely right in the end. She swallowed hard as Matt was turning to leave before she was shaking her head. "I never expected you to be here waiting. I'm a fucking idiot and a bitch and an awful person, but I never expected little Mattie Solis to be waiting here for me. I have more fucking respect for you than to believe that." Lara delivered with a cold voice as she exhaled shakily. She needed to try and find some sort of calmness from within her. Matt was being real with her. Honest. She couldn't fault her for such a thing. "I want you... to be happy more than anything and I just... I'm not going to get in between that, okay? I'm not. But you do not have the...." Lara felt her body tensing up again at the simple thought of her mother before she was exhaling shakily and shaking her head. "Just... go. This is your closure. Whatever you're wanting this is..." Lara paused for a moment as she felt the tears welling in her eyes falling down her cheeks. She felt panicked. She felt anxious. She felt like a goddamn mess, but that was okay. She was allowed to feel that. "I hurt you and I know I did. I'm not... I don't... Expect anything but I can't... Just... please? Please go. I..." She shook her head before shrugging her shoulders once more and laughing pathetically. "Go be happy with your someone new and good and... better than me. Just go."

MATT

More than anything, Matt wanted to wrap her arms around Lara and kiss her and tell her she loved her, still, and apologize for being too mean and that it wasn't true. None of it. And that they could just be happy. But that wasn't reality. What Matt said was true. Should she have said all at once? No. That was kinda...a lot. But Lara needed to hear it. Even if Lara hated Matt for the rest of her life... Matt had to. It didn't matter, anyway. Whether Lara hated her or not, they weren't the same anymore. They were two different people. Two ghosts of their past selves clinging onto their back trying to revive what they use to be. But it was dead. They were dead. And it pained Matt so much that she started crying and nodded. "I'll go." Matt managed to say. "I don't know if I'll be happy like you say...but I'll go." Matt opened the door and paused. "I hope you'll be able to see what I was trying to do...sometime in the future. I hope you're able to see it." Matt said before walking away and closing the door, making it to the end of the hallway before leaning over to let out the sob she had been holding back the entire time. Because Matt knew. She lost Lara completely.

LARA

As Matt walked out the door with her final words, Lara was following her. She said not a word as a reply, but the moment Matt was pulling the door shut behind her, Lara was pushing it shut with a loud bang. She felt panicked. She felt like she was about to pass out from the anger that was riddling her body. She felt like she was about to drop to the floor with the guilt and regret that was washing over her. A part of her knew that Matt was right. The going was getting good, but it was way too good. So she walked away without a second glance. She knew that there was a part of that that was right, but she didn't care. She couldn't focus on that right now. "Welcome fuckin' back, Lara. You piece of shit," she spoke aloud to herself as she shook her head, allowing her foot to collide with the door in front of her in a last ditch attempt to be angry with Matt. She knew Matt was right, but there wasn't a chance in hell that she was going to work herself through that right now.

[scgdoeswhat]

Revelations

Pairing: Liam x MC (Reina), Drake x MC if you squint

Summary: After the attempts on her and Liam’s lives, Reina visits the man who took a bullet for her.

Rating: T

Words: 1233

Author’s Notes: This takes place in the hours immediately after the end of Book 2. No beta used. All characters belong to Pixelberry; this story to me. Thanks for reading!

Everything was a complete blur. 

Last night was supposed to be a celebration – of Liam, of her, of Liam and her. Instead, here she was standing in a hospital hallway, outside a room where one of her closest friends lay. He was hanging on for dear life after a lengthy operation to remove a bullet from an assassin’s gun. A bullet that was meant for her.

The newly appointed Duchess Reina Puro furrowed her brow, biting down on her bottom lip. Her eyes were red and swollen from the hours of crying. How did everything get so messed up?

She took another shaky breath as she looked down her golden ballgown. Her ballgown that was now splattered with blood. Drake’s blood. She leaned her head back, willing the tears to stay within. Looking down the hall, she saw Bastien and two guards, with three more guards on the other end of the hall leaving her equidistant from both sets of security.

The door to Drake’s room quietly opened, as Liam stepped out with a stricken, forlorn expression on his face. He too was covered in blood, his blue suit stained with the blood of his best friend. Liam and Reina locked eyes, before she threw herself into his open arms. Sobs wracked her petite frame as he held her tight, stroking her back and nuzzling her hair. He held her until her breathing evened and she pulled back to look up at him.

“Is he going to be okay?” she asked apprehensively.

“The doctors said they were able to get the bullet out but he’s in critical condition. He lost a lot of blood. The next 24-48 hours are going to be absolutely vital and he will be closely monitored to make sure there is no sign of infection or anything out of the ordinary.”

“He’s going to pull through this, right?”

“You know how Drake is. He’s as stubborn as a mule. It will take more than this to bring him down.”

Reina looked down, taking deep breaths to steady herself.

“I think you should go in to see him. He’d appreciate it to know you’re here.” She nodded as she stepped out of her fiancé’s arms and towards the door. Gingerly opening it, the stark white of the room and the machinery beeping almost overwhelmed her senses.

Her eyes trailed to the bed and fell on the man who currently lay unconscious. Here he was; the man who took a bullet for her; the man who saved her life. She looked at all the tubes that were attached to him, from the IV drip, to the ventilator, and other things she did not recognize.

Blip. Blip.

His heart rate was steady.

She took a seat in the chair next to the bed, silently gathering her thoughts. Strangely, sitting here in his presence, she no longer felt the urge to cry. She briefly thought about how much shit Drake would have given her if he knew how many tears she had shed. He looked peaceful lying there. It was such an unfamiliar sight to see.

Drake had been through so much his entire life, needing to grow up faster than necessary. He had given up on his dreams and his own life after the previous assassination attempt on Liam’s life when he was in college. How he had dealt with court life despite not being one of “them,” she would never know. Right at that moment, she made up her mind. Drake was going to pull through this.

Reina drew in a breath.

“Hey Drake? It’s me, Puro. I hope you know I expect you to make a full recovery. In fact, I expect you to be even better than before.” She forced a smile. 

Looking down at his face after a prolonged silence, she started in a lowered voice, “I can’t believe you did that. Why?” She sighed. “Why did you risk your life for me?”

She looked at his hand, tentatively touching his fingers before lightly holding it, as if he was a fragile piece of porcelain. She gently squeezed, taking some comfort that his hand was still warm.

Reina thought about everything she had been through since that chance meeting in New York, which had proceeded to completely flip her life upside down. She thought about how she never believed in soulmates until she met Liam. How, despite the ridiculousness of the social season and having to win Liam, they both knew they were it for each other. Even through the engagement tour and having to deal with Madeleine, she had faith the truth would come out and that it would be worth it in the end.

Then she thought about Drake. How, despite his suspicions of her in the beginning, she would regard him as her rock. Whether it was a directive from Liam or not, she found that Drake was always there. A drinking buddy, sounding board, or shoulder to cry on when her frustrations would bubble over, he was always there.

Her gaze moved from his hand to his face, a questioning look overtaking her expression.

She recalled all the times he asked her if she wanted to join him in the “real world” after events, away from the prying eyes of the court. She always said no, knowing she had to be at the top of her game when it came to the harpies and vultures that were waiting for her to fall. Her mind wandered to the barn building event, where she teased him mercilessly about Kiara, thoroughly enjoying that the stoic Drake Walker was blushing with all the unwarranted attention.

The one time she did accompany him was in New York, to help him look for a wedding gift. That day in itself took everything she had just to get through it. Picking up the engagement ring for the woman who was betrothed to the love of Reina’s life was easily something she would rather forget. 

Looking back, she was so absorbed in her own thoughts that even her normal banter with Drake completely went over her head. It wasn’t until now – sitting next to his hospital bed – did she replay their conversation. She didn’t think much of it then, but when she teased him about who he saw himself getting married to and he didn’t reply right away….

She gasped.

“Oh. My. God.”

Closing her eyes and thinking about that moment while they were sitting on the bench, she saw it play out in her memory. The way his eyes flickered over to her, a brief moment of longing escaping his carefully constructed mask. Drake was in love with her.

Reina looked at their joined hands, unsure of her train of thought. She carefully removed her hand, placing it in her lap.

“That’s why you jumped in front of that bullet for me,” she whispered. She sat there stunned, as her pulse quickened with her realization. 

After a few minutes to gather her bearings, her gaze softened while studying his features as she stood up. A sad smile crossed her lips while her fingers reached out to brush some hair out of his face, slightly grazing his cheek.

“Maybe in another lifetime,” she quietly mused.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to leave. Grim determination settled on her face as she silently vowed that whoever was behind all of this would pay.

[sad-af1121]

Magnets (One-shot)

Summary: What could possibly be the best way to let someone know some exciting news? You went with an easy plan in such a short amount of time but you wanted to cherish the moment with Bucky, even if it was cheesy. At least you’d have a story to tell your firstborn and how exactly it went down.     Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader  Word Count: 1825 Warnings: FLUFF A/N: Credit to @ruby-white-rabbit for the cute hc. Thank you, dear! Feedback is welcomed 💜

The sweet and strong taste of green tea flooded your mouth as you take a sip to wake yourself up. The earthy fluid rested on your tongue, awakening some of your senses.  Caffeine was a dire need now, especially if you had to wake up this early for what you planned about 24 hours ago. You couldn’t have your usual expresso due to well… you being pregnant. It was only yesterday when you found out about the exciting yet frightful news. You told yourself this was good. More than that.

This was a new beginning.

And honestly, it sucked ass that you couldn’t indulge in caffeine because you couldn’t go a day without it. Yes, you were more productive and lively when you drank a couple of cups throughout the day. But you didn’t want to risk intaking too much for the sake of the little bundle of joy you were soon going to have.

You were sitting on the couch watching Friends when you had the sudden impulse to puke. It ran itself up your throat before you emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl. Relief washed over you once you made it to the bathroom, sweat resting on the top of your brows. Just in time too or else you would had used Bucky’s combat boot as a waste bin again.

He wouldn’t have been too pleased about that. It could explain the other times you got drunk and used his favorite pair to do exactly that. He obviously forgave you, but he kept his shoes hidden whenever you got to that stage. That taught him a lesson too: not to leave his things lying around or else bad things might happen to them.

Aka they’re shit out of luck.

You thought back to the food you ate the night before. Maybe the buffalo wings you ordered from that sketchy restaurant were bad? It’s not like you haven’t had them before; they were your lazy food whenever you didn’t feel like cooking for the night. And on those nights Bucky wasn’t home. Missions and paperwork kept him busy for most days out of the week, so you didn’t have to worry about his strict diet guidelines he set for you. So what you like eating fries dipped in chocolate sauce. It tasted so fucken good to you.

However, Bucky refuted that. Telling you ‘you should eat foods to fuel your body. Not to fill it up with nonsense things.’ You just agreed and ate food that were good for you. But hell, it didn’t stop you from having cheat days.  

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The color of your skin lost its beautiful warmth, the awful taste in your mouth made you queasy and the slight pain in your tummy troubled you. It wasn’t too bad, it was bearable. The soft chill of the Fall season didn’t raise any questions to catch the common flu or cold, so it was hard narrowing down the source.

Your face scrunched in thought before the light bulb in your head went off. Mother Nature didn’t visit you last month and it was starting to look like she wasn’t going to come this month either, making you smack your forehead with frustration. Quickly, you laid out about three pregnancy tests (thank god Wanda gave them as a gag birthday gift), and peed on them, waiting for the results. Those 5 excruciating minutes had your nerves wrecked and your heart almost gave out with the tension you built inside your head. Whether or not Bucky would be happy was a constant thought. It wasn’t like you two hadn’t talked about having kids.

Because he wanted them. Badly.

Your body was under utter stress, screaming with anxiousness as you shut both eyes, exhaling deeply before opening one eye to peak at the tests. Your vision wasn’t that great, especially since you were about 3 feet away from lines that are smaller than the size of a rice grain. Stepping closer, and opening both eyes, you looked down on the counter as they widened at the double lines on each test, informing you that you’re pregnant. Every emotion possible danced inside of you and you didn’t know what to do next.

Squealing with joy, you ran out the bathroom to call Bucky home, but you stopped in front of your phone, wanting this moment to be special- something to remember when thought back to. Thus, you called Wanda. And boy was she jumping up and down like a five-year-old. You could have sworn you lost your hearing with her shriek of enthusiasm and cheerfulness. You two gossiped about how excited you were, discussing a plan to tell Buck that you were carrying his child.

And here you are, setting the little box filled with children’s alphabet magnets on the comforter of the bed as you carefully sit on your knees beside Bucky’s metal arm. You could have gone with a better way of telling him, but you wanted your husband to know as soon as he woke up. His hair was disheveled, covering most of his face. You brush his chestnut locks out from his eyes, smiling down at his peaceful state. Leaning in, you place a chaste kiss on his forehead. Bucky sucks in a breath, making you still in that position, your lips just inches away from him. You were afraid to move because he might wake up and ruin the little plot. But he simply turns onto his side, giving you a better access to his arm.

“This better fucking stick.” You assertively murmur under your breath before placing the letters onto his arm, releasing a breath of hope as they adhere to the metal. These were cheap magnets and you were content that they worked. After about 15 minutes of perfecting each character on his arm, your eyes roam over to his alarm clock that was about to ring in 30.

“Shit!” Hissing, you hurry off the bed, pushing the little box under as you rush out the bedroom to leave for work. Thank goodness you got ready beforehand or else Bucky wouldn’t have let you go after finding out. Grabbing your bag and keys, you run out your apartment, the foolish grin on your face never leaving as you made your way to your car then work.

Humming in his sleep, Bucky’s eyes flutter open, lids heavy with slumber as he groans. “Baby?”

He calls out to you, only meeting silence in return. He gets the idea that you left for work like usual, nothing in his head to facetime you later to see your beautiful face. Bringing his flesh hand to his eyes, he rubs away the remaining of his sleep, narrowing his sight at the clock before shutting off the alarm the second it began to ring. Smirking, he turns over again, pulling the covers up to his neck as he snuggles with the fresh cotton before tensing when his phone rings throughout the quiet home.

“Jesus Christ.” He growls, throwing the blanket over to reach for his phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, buddy. We need you down at the tower, like now.” Clint informs, nodding over to Steve as he walks beside him. “We got new recruits and you and Cap need to do some early training with them. Orders from Fury.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky stares at the ceiling, irritation laced in his tone. “I need to shower -”

“You can shower here. Now get your ass up. See you soon.”

“I- Hello? Did he just hang up on me?” Bucky scoffs, eyeing the phone with disappointment before tossing it to the side. He gets out of bed, his feet weighing a ton as he drags them across the wooden floors. Exhaustion resided inside him, but duty calls.

After using the toilet and splashing cold water on his face, Bucky walks out, quickly grabbing his jeans and a new t-shirt before slipping those on. Within a short time, Bucky’s out the door, throwing his jacket over his shoulders before getting in his car and driving to the tower.

The usual elevator ride to the gym wasn’t anything exciting. He wondered what he would have to do today when he’d get free time to himself, or if his mind would mess with his day. He could only hope and pray.

The elevator grabs his attention as the steel doors open, the sounds of grunts and groans coming from the distance as Bucky makes his way to the locker room. There, he’s greeted by Clint who happens to be changing out of his training clothes.

“I thought we were training the newbies?” Bucky asks, pressing his flesh thumb onto the padlock of his locker as it turns from red to green.

“Nope. I said you and Steve were. I just got done working out. Got a mission later with Nat.” Clint informs, stuffing his boxing tape inside his locker before shutting it. “Besides. You guys are great history teachers too.”

Just then, Steve enters, chuckling at Clint’s words. “Really, Barton?”

Bucky huffs, shaking his head as he pulls off his coat and hangs it on the hook. “That joke’s old.”

“Yeah, like you.” Clint snorts, making Bucky turn slowly in a creepy yet terrifying manner. His fists clench by his sides as his nostrils flare with anger. But both Clint’s and Steve’s widened eyes and surprised expression cause confusion.

“What.”

“Your arm man.” Clint chuckles with excitement. Bucky looks down before interrupted by Steve.

“Congratulations!” Steve beams, wrapping Bucky in a bone-crushing embrace.

“What?” Bucky asks again, harsher than before. Steve pulls away, grabbing Bucky’s metal arm and showing him the magnets that spell out “u r a dad.”

“Wh-what.” Bucky stares at the magnets, his features turning light. His heart is racing and thudding incredibly fast to the point where it feels like it might give out. He re-reads the words, processing the information before seizing his phone from his back pocket, face-timing you.

Ring, ring, ri-

“Heeeeeey.” You grin, taking in Bucky’s flabbergasted expression as a hint. He knows.

“H-hi… Magnets? Really?” He laughs out, taking a seat before his feet decide to give out from under him. He had millions of emotions coursing through him right now.

“Yes!! I only had 24 hours.” You playfully pout, giggling as the butterflies return in your stomach.

“I love it... I love you.” Bucky blurts, laughing louder as he looks around the room. He can feel the tears forming in his eyes but he’s holding them back, knowing he needed a private moment with you. “Get your things. I’m coming down there. Can’t believe I’m going to be a dad!”

“No Buck. Stay- Jesus Christ, he hung up on me.” You chuckle breathlessly, leaning back in your seat.

You should have waited for the weekend because there was no way he’s going to let you out of his sight from now on.

Goodbye cheat days. 

PERM TAGS:  @thatawkwardtinyperson  @jezzula @finallybreathee @plumfondler @atari-writes @angryschnauzer  @badassbaker @papi-chulo-bucky @amrita31199 @cumonbucky @soldatbarnes @random-fandom-girl2000 @lostinspace33 @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying  @rda1989 @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt  @melconnor2007  @feelmyroarrrr @iamsooooohappy  @elaacreditava   @broken-pieces  @ms-potts-to-you @hardcollectiontrashworld @i-kneel-for-king-loki @hufflevirgoclaw @charliexowrite @valkyeries

FIC TAGS: @3brosangel @ruby-white-rabbit @chrisevanshh  

(permanent tag list is open/ also tumblr won't let me tag a few of you. I apologize.) 

[wanna1things]

Radio DJ!Kim Jaehwan

the idea came to me because for like a good 3 years of my life i wanted to be a radio dj and idk jaehwan fits this au well...

Genre;; fluff +radio dj au is that a thing idk

Warnings;; unless you hate jaehwan, his laugh, and music then none lol

Pairing;; Kim Jaehwan x reader

Requested;; no this is just another thing from my backlog lol

Summary;; Jaehwan is the radio dj for your university radio station, and he’s looking for someone to present with him… maybe something more?

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1913

UH requests will be done by the end of the week!! just clearing the backlog of posts while i revise for my uni tests lol

jaehwan is pretty well known in your university for his job as a dj for the uni’s radio station

nobody knows what he’s studying, everyone assumes it’s music (they’re right), they just know he’s the guy with the weird laugh who hosts the midnight to 2am slot

aka when everyone is cramming

he plays pretty funky music at the start but by the end it’s chill tunes to help everyone wind down and actually get some sleep

you’re an avid listener

you stay up until 2am every day, not even to study just to listen to his show lol

you always make notes of the songs he plays because he seems to have almost the exact same music taste as you??

by the time it’s 2am your hand is aching from writing down all the songs he’s played lol

at 1am he always has a 5 minute gap where he covers a popular song on guitar and sings it too and sjhgfsjd it’s amazing you’re in love with his voice

it’s just…

you have no idea what he looks like

all of your friends know about your crush on the dj with the satanic laugh and they tease you 24/7

like lol how can you be in love with a guy you’ve never seen before

but theres some sort of;; connection that you feel with him lmao

anyway, as you walk into your class one day in the middle of the semester you notice a poster up on the pinboard

in handwritten bubble letters (you know the ones) it says

“kim jaehwan is recruiting!! send a playlist to my email jaehwanisthebestdjintheworld@gmail.com and i’ll rate you and decide on who will be my new co-host!! entries close at the end of the week!”

your heartbeat speeds up

now you have an opportunity to possibly meet the guy you’ve been crushing on since that one time you pulled an all nighter at the beginning of uni lol

you take note of his pretty stupid email address and take your seat at the back of the class

instead of listening you spend the whole time brainstorming your playlist sdhfhds

as soon as the lecturer dismisses you, you leg it out of the room and to your flat

but in your rush you accidentally run into someone

and by run i mean like you slam into this really cute guy

and you spill his drink lol

they seemed uh… pretty mad but honestly you were in such a rush to get back and sort out the playlist you just opened your bag and gave him a $5 bill to cover the costs lmao

as you walk away you swear you hear a familiar satanic laugh coming from the guy you just ran into but

you chalk it up to you just hearing things

you stay up until midnight sorting out the playlist and brainstorming

after trying to come up with themed playlists and stuff but losing motivation after a while

you decide to roughly follow the structure he uses in his show, funky and louder at the start and gradually getting softer

you put all of your favourite songs in there, and make sure to sprinkle a couple of ones that jaehwan plays regularly in there

and once you’re pleased with the result you send it to the email,, at exactly 11:59

before you know it jaehwans show is starting

“Hello fellow students!! It’s everyone’s favourite midnight dj Kim Jaehwan!! Thank you for all your submissions so far, i’ll be reviewing them tomorrow! For now let's get on with the show!’

you realise straight away the first song hes playing is the one you put first on your playlist

and you’re a bit creeped out but you just think its a coincidence i mean you two have the same music taste

but by the time the 5th song is playing eXACTLY the same as your playlist you realise

he’s literally just playing your playlist

you open up your email again and begin drafting a new email asking for an explanation like really why is he using your playlist??

within seconds you get a reply

“hello;; y/n;; yeah sorry about that you’re the only submission so far… i took a look at the first 3 songs and i decided i trust your choices enough to use your playlist for this show… hope you don’t mind??”

OF COURSE YOU DON’T MIND

you type a speedy reply because uh oh don’t want jaehwan thinking you’re mad

“hey jaehwan! i don’t mind at all!! does this mean i got the job lol??”

again in the space of 3 seconds you get a reply but this time it’s just two words

“no comment”

the next day you head into uni and you realise all of the posters jaehwan put up for recruiting have been taken down

honestly you’re a bit shook like does he not need a partner any more??

that is until halfway through your day you’re sitting in the library studying when you receive an email from the one and only worlds best dj kim jaehwan

“hey new partner! you’ve officially been recruited! meet me in the cafe in 20 minutes;; here’s my phone number _______!”

the first thing that comes to your mind is what do you save jaehwans number as dsjfgdfjh

you decide on ‘worlds no.1 dj’ and then pack up your work and make your way to the cafe

when you get there you see a guy sitting at a table on his own, looking at his phone suspiciously and sipping on his drink

when you look a bit closer you realise uh oh its the guy you bumped into yesterday don’t get noTICED

but after about 5 minutes of trying to hide from the guy you ran into, you still can’t spot jaehwan so you decide to ring his number

you’re mortified when you see the guy you ran into pick up his phone sjfhjs uh oh

you stay on the line and gradually make your way over to the table he’s at and sit down in the chair opposite him

he is honestly just as shocked as you

“okay y/n i have so many questions first of all why did you give me $5?? why were you in such a hurry?? what is this”

you can’t even process his questions because ok you just fell in love a litttttle bit more

i mean like this guy i mean jaehwan has the cutest cheeks and a really cuTE SMILE and really soft looking fluffy hair oh my god;;;

you’re almost about to grab your phone and call all of your friends like HA i fell in love with someone i’ve never seen and he turned out to be good looking as hell anyway LMAO

when he realises you’re not going to answer his questions he stands up and orders you an iced coffee lol

as he puts it in front of you, you thank him graciously and suddenly blurt out

‘thank you so much honestly i’ve been a fan of yours for a long time and we have the exact same music taste and i really admire you and you’re an amazing singer and musician an-’

‘woah okAY y/n i didn’t hire you just to hear compliments i mean i’m not complaining but you don’t need to thank me lol you have a gift with playlists that's whY i hired you’

he smiles at you really wide and you realise like you had nothing to be so nervous about he’s not got a grudge against you and hes also super nice?? at least he seems it

and so you’re welcomed to the radio family

at first everyone is so confused when your voice appears alongside jaehwan’s at 12am

but after a while everyone is very attached to your shows

you pick amazing songs together, you have gr8 banter and sometimes;; just sometimes you join in singing with jaehwan

after the show he always compliments you on how good you are at singing but tbh he’s so whipped he doesnt know

thats right

jaehwan was interested you from the moment you gave him instant compensation for running into him

and now, after spending all this time with you, he’s just like

so in love

like;; not only do you have mad talent but you also can deal with him and his annoying laugh like lets be honest most of his friends give up after an hour or two

even his best friend the business major minhyun can only handle him for so long lol

but you two are so in tune and theres some sort of connection between you two that words can’t explain;; one that you’ve been feeling for a LONG TIME

it doesn’t help that now there’s mad gossip going around

“that person that djs with jaehwan for the midnight slot?? yeah them i heard they’re dating jaehwan as well lol”

uH

minhyun, who sometimes comes and sits to watch live action midnight slot, has also noticed that you both have pretty obvious feelings for each other

he’s noticed how when you look at jaehwan it’s like you’re looking at the whole damn universe

and how jaehwan can’t help but smile to himself whenever you smile

and he starts up a plan

a plan to convince jaehwan to confess

one night after the slot they walk you back to the dorm together

minhyun feeling like a bit of a third wheel lol

but as soon as you’re safely inside minhyun whispers to jaehwan

‘heyyyy jaehwan…. I know about your crush on y/n’

jaehwan turns briGHT RED

‘haha what do u mean i have no idea what you’re talking about buddy sorry’

‘bro;;; are you blind she likes you back’

nobody has ever seen jaehwan whip out his phone quicker

in a moment of madness he dials your number quicker than lightning and calls you down to the courtyard

minhyun makes his way back to his dorms on his own because he already knows this is too cheesy to watch i mean he could record it for blackmail but jaehwan would probably kill him if he did lol

as soon as you get downstairs with your dressing gown wrapped around you jaehwan kneels down on the floor like romeo-style

‘jaehwan if u have something to say please hurry up my hot chocolate is getting cold-’

‘y/n~~ i have loved you~~ since you gave me five dollars~~ im glad i walked into you~~ or technically you walked into me but still~’

is he really singing his confession? yes. this is jaehwan we are talking about

you’re not sure if it’s because of embarrassment or happiness but you can feel your cheeks heating up

‘jaehwan if this is you asking me to date you, i accept, but please come inside it’s cold lol’

of course he comes in and you share your hot chocolate

from that day on you were the cutest and most EXTRA couple ever

you announce your relationship in the show by playing the cheesiest love songs for an hour

at the end of the year makeshift awards you win the cutest couple award (and jaehwan wins weirdest laugh award, as expected)

you also win best duet award for your daily singing sessions at 1am

all in all you two are super cute and super extra

everyone is jealous but you’re still their fAVE COUPLE

listen i love jaehwan so much okay this made me so soft for jaehwan uGHH anyway i hope you enjoyed and that this wasn’t a disaster lol i’m going to SCHLEEP

[hjertetssunnegalskap1]

The Secret Santa App - Crazyheart

This fic is part of the Skam Secret Santa challenge, and it’s a gift to @emmanette. I hope it's okay! :) 

Originally I planned a oneshot, but it got a little long, so I have decided to post it in five chapters. However, I will post it all within the next 24 hours. :D

Summary: Secret Santa AU, Isak’s and Even’s altering POV. In this world, Isak and Even met at Nissen, but they were never brave enough to do anything. Isak  (25) is a stressed-out salesman for playground equipment. Even (27) is a freshly educated, burned out and lonely children’s psychologist. They meet again when Sana, Eva and Vilde arrange a Secret Santa party.

Without knowing it, Isak and Even end up as Secret Santas for each other and they chat with each other on the Secret Santa App. Things happen. This story shows snapshots from the four Sundays before Christmas and Christmas Eve.

Thank you so much @evakuality, @coolauntskam and @arindwell for proofreading and betaing for me, you are amazing! <3

This fic is also on AO3.

Chapter 1. Isak: Gløgg, Gingerbreads and Joy (First Sunday of Advent)

Now we light a candle tonight, we light it for joy 

For us who are present, it shines so brightly

Now we light a candle tonight, we light it for joy

Inger Hagerup’s strong voice seeps from the radio and fills Isak’s car as he drives over to Eva and Jonas’s house. It’s Sunday, Dec 1st, the first Sunday in Advent. Isak doesn’t feel much of the joy that the poem speaks about.

If he lit a candle, he would light one for his missing life.

He’s miserable. He has a nice job as a salesman for playground equipment, and he’s doing great, but he always has this feeling that he wants more . He’s lonely, too. He has his friends, of course, and he's had some relationships, but nothing that lasted. He’s starting to wonder if he ever will have something long lasting like that, something like the thing Eva and Jonas have.

It’s dark outside and wet snow falls in front of the car. It should give him a sense of Christmas spirit, but it just makes him more irritable. He really doesn’t want to visit them tonight. Eva, Sana, and Vilde have conspired to make a Secret Santa party, and Eva has more or less forced Isak to come. It’s going to be awful. It’s Sunday, and a workday tomorrow, so he supposes they won’t even serve beer. That would at least have made everything a little more endurable.

He doesn’t know why he caved in. Well, maybe it has something to do with the guests. Sana, Vilde, and Eva have been talking about inviting all kinds of people, to make sort of a new Kosegruppa, and the idea did something to Isak. What if Even showed up? Isak knows that Even still hangs out with Sana’s brother, so it’s not totally unbelievable.

Even, with the long legs, swoopy blonde hair and shining smile... Even, the cool guy, who always had a kind smile and who looked at Isak like he was someone to pay attention to. Isak can’t help it, he would love to see him again.

Of course, Isak knows he is silly to think like that—Even is only his crush from Nissen, who he should have forgotten years ago. They had met at Kosegruppa, spoke one or two times, and Isak had this infatuation that he never acted on, but that lasted for years.

He still keeps track of Even, though, and sees him from time to time. Even will meet up with Sana sometimes, or at a party here and there. He isn’t on any social media, but he has popped up in someone else’s Insta or Facebook from time to time. Isak doesn’t know everything about him, but he knows that Even transferred to Nissen because he had an episode at Bakka and felt like he never could go back. Isak knows that Even had a girlfriend for many years, followed by only short-term things. That he’s pansexual. He knows that Even has bipolar disorder, that he has more or less control of. He had told some of his friends about it after a manic episode around Christmas when Isak was in second year. Even told Isak about it in the spring. That was about the same time that Isak discovered that Even knew his Biology buddy Sana, too.

Isak also knows that Even has studied for years to become a children’s psychologist. That he loves movies, music, and art. Fuck, Isak realizes that he knows quite a lot, after all. Isak feels like he’s some weird resigned stalker, but he just can't help following Even at a distance.

So he’s going to this Secret Santa thing, and he doesn’t really have any thoughts about what he will do if Even actually turns up. He will most likely just stare at him and not say a word, like he always does. It’s tragic, really.

However, when he turns up at Eva’s and Jonas’ place and spots Even in the other end of the room, and when Even sees him and smiles, Isak gets this feeling almost of relief . He exhales, and it feels like he has held his breath for ages. God , it’s good to see him.

Isak still doesn't dare to go over to him, though.

He watches the other guests instead. The boys are there, Eskild and Linn are there, and so are Sana’s brother and his friends. And of course the girls. There are also some faces that Isak hasn't seen before. Everyone seems to be having a good time, and right now Isak is fine, watching them all quietly.

Eva comes over, giving him a big hug and offering him some gløgg and gingerbread cookies. Isak thanks her and takes a sip of the hot drink.

– Oh, you made an adult version? he grins, as he tastes the sweet mulled wine mixed with the Christmas spices.

– Of course, she grins, and winks.

– Ah, but I’m driving, Eva, Isak sighs.

Eva brushes it away. – You can leave the car and get it tomorrow. Have some strong gløgg. And some beer later. Although I must recommend Sana’s spicy nonalcoholic gløgg, too. It’s really hot.

– Mm, Isak smiles, enjoying the spicy and sweet mulled wine. He supposes that she’s right. He can leave the car for one night.

The chat becomes lively around them, and he allows himself another look across the room. Even looks relaxed, happy and damned good. Isak feels the heat rise to his cheeks as Even looks in his direction. He grins and Isak looks away, knowing that if he continues to stare he will get lost in Even’s big blue eyes. Isak can feel his eyes still on him, so he silently inhales and exhales, hoping that Even’s thoughts about him are good.

Eva seems to want to have another word or two with Isak. She moves closer. – So… do you still have a crush on him?

Isak looks at her in flustered bewilderment. – Huh?

Eva gives him a telling look. – You know, Isak. Even . You told me about your crush at that Kosegruppa Christmas party in the second year at Nissen, remember?

– Oh fuck.

He had forgotten about that. He had been so lost for Even back then that it was ridiculous. – That’s ages ago, Eva.

– Yeah, well. I always thought it was a pity you two never got together.

Isak shrugs, trying not to make a big thing out of it. – Well, not everyone gets a fairytale like you and Jonas, you know.

Eva laughs then, and she almost falls over from the laughter. – Fucking hell, Isak. Were you blind when we were younger? Jonas and I were so messed up most of the time, it’s hilarious.

– What? How?

Eva shakes her head. – At first, I was too dependent on him, and he was too avoidant and too hung up himself and his own ideals. Then I took such a long time to figure out what I wanted, and Jonas took a long time to figure stuff out, too.

– Do you mean when he dated others, and you hooked up with Chris?

– Yeah, and when I hooked up with Vilde. And others.

Isak stares at her. – Eva, are you telling me that you had a crush on Vilde?

Eva giggles. – Yeah, sure, why did you think I made out with her? To make a show for boys? No, it was hot. I’m bi, Isak, I thought you knew that.

Isak swallows. He really didn’t know that. – But you did choose Jonas?

– Yeah. It was love, you know. Vilde and I never hit it off like that. Jonas made me feel more.. whole, I guess. After we both grew up a little, he saw me. And I saw him.

Isak sighs. – Like I said, a fairytale.

– Bullshit, Eva says. – Love is making choices, every day. Sure, it has its magical moments, but it’s not just magic. If you’re waiting for that, you’ll have to wait for a long time.

– Yeah, yeah.

Isak frowns. – Are you saying that I should forget this magic feeling I have for Even and look for someone else?

– Aaaw.. magic feeling! Eva says, making a cute face. – And no, Isak, I am saying that you should do something more than just watch him from a distance. Take a chance for once in your life. Live a little.

She makes it sound so easy. Isak avoids her gaze. – Sure...

Eva shakes her head like she thinks it's a lost cause. – Did you download the Secret Santa app so that you can get your giftee?

– No.

Eva sighs and puts her mug with gløgg on a shelf next to them. – Well, give me your phone.

He hands it to her, and as she fiddles with his phone, he shoots another look across the room. Even looks back again, giving him another tingling feeling along his spine. Isak feels like an idiot when he quickly drops his eyes again. He tries to hide his confusion by drinking another sip of the gløgg. Damn, it must be strong stuff, because he already feels a little tipsy.

– Here, Eva says and hands him his phone. She smiles at him. – Seems like you have been assigned a giftee already. Maybe we all have.

She pats his back and moves on, and Isak looks closer at his phone and the Secret Santa app. It seems fairly simple, it’s an app that shuffles the names from this party so that they can be Secret Santas to each other. It seems like it’s possible to text the giftees on the app, too. That could be handy. Isak clicks on his giftee and almost chokes when he sees the name pop up.

Even Bech Næsheim.

Fucking hell. Send me an anonymous greeting, it says.

Isak’s thumb hovers over the keys for a moment, before he starts typing.

Hi, Even, looks like you’re stuck with me as your Secret Santa. What do you want for Christmas?

The answer is quick: If you know me, you know what I like.

Don’t try to figure out who I am, I’ll never tell! :) So, you have no special desires for Christmas this year?

Oh, I have plenty of desires. ;)

Like what? ;)

Like, I would love to do better at work, or not be as messy all the time, or wait, to learn to say no. Yeah, and I would love to meet someone, preferably a hot person, that I could live happily ever after with. Could you arrange that?

Isak’s heart beats a little faster when he realizes that Even wants to meet someone. Why can’t Isak be that someone? Could he be? He shakes off that impossible hope and writes an answer: Well, I can’t promise anything, but I sure can try. :D

He notices that the app pings in phones around him, as all the guests get their first messages.

– You’re allowed to send a message or two now, Sana says, – but remember that this is supposed to be a party, and it won’t be if everyone is staring at their phones.

Isak smiles as he hears his own phone pinging.

Hi, I’m your Secret Santa, Isak, your wish is my command. :)

Oh, that sounds interesting , Isak types back.

I hope it will be! What do you want for Christmas?

Isak doesn’t know what to answer. What does he want? He has all the things he needs. Even’s Christmas wishes go through his head.

Honestly? he types.

Yes, please, that would be nice.

I wish to do something meaningful. I feel like I’m wasting my life away, to be honest, and I’m so fed up.

For a moment he wishes he had the courage to write his own wish to get together with someone special. He doesn’t.

That’s dark, his Secret Santa answers.

Yeah, I guess you caught me in a bad mood. But that's what I wish for, anyway.

Well, that’s not a small wish, but I’ll do my best, the Secret Santa answers.

And now Isak is very curious. Normally, he would have guessed who it was from the phrases used, but now, he has no idea.

– Let’s eat, Vilde bellows over the crowd, and they all gather around the big table. – We have put out table cards, to make sure that you all get to know new people. But remember, the Santa assignments are random, so there’s no point in guessing who it is from your seating. Okay? Dig in!

As Isak gets close to the table, his heart speeds up. For yeah, something tells him that Eva or some of the others have been meddling. Isak is seated right next to Even.

He approaches Even slowly. When Even looks at him and smiles, Isak can’t help smiling back. His pulse thunders in his ears.

– Halla, Even says, grinning. – Seems like you’re my date.

Oh, and that’s a nice idea. Up close Isak notices how Even has become a grown man. He still look just as good. His eyes are just as blue, his neck is just as long, and his hair is just as swoopy.

– Halla, Isak answers, blushing. – That’s cool.

Even smiles and looks him over. – I like your shirt, it’s nice.

Isak gets flustered and tries to hide it behind a cocky face. – Thanks, well…  just because you like my shirt doesn’t mean it’s coming off tonight.

Oh fuck, where did that come from? He grimaces. – I mean, sorry, thanks, I just tried to be funny there for a moment.

Even just laughs, still looking at him. – You are funny, Isak. And I promise that I’ll only take your shirt off if you want me to.

He winks, and the strange attempt at a wink makes Isak laugh. God, he is adorable.

They all sit down, and as they start passing food and filling up their plates, Even looks at Isak. Those eyes. Even looks at him like he’s studying something interesting, and Isak can’t look away.

– So, what do you think about this Secret Santa thing? Even asks.

Isak tries to breathe slowly, to calm down. – Well, I guess I should admit that I’m not a big fan of Christmas, he says, licking his lip. – Or happenings like this. But it still might be fun.

Even’s eyes linger on his face for a moment. – Oh, I’m sure it will be. I totally get that Christmas isn’t for everyone. It can be a bit much. However, I cherish everything about Christmas, and I love things like this. Makes me feel like I’m a kid again.

He smiles. Isak watches his smile and has no problem imagining that. He nods and takes a bite from the food. God, that’s good. He gives a small sound as he savours the amazing taste. – Fuck, if nothing else, the food’s fucking amazing.

Even laughs so that his eyes crinkle. – That’s good then, he says, and takes a bite, too. Then he pours Isak some beer.

Fuck, that laughter does something to Isak. He has to try to make Even laugh some more. – Thanks, he says, raising an eyebrow. – Are you trying to get me drunk, or something?

Even laughs again. His eyes sparkle when he looks at Isak. – Oh, are you afraid that I’ll get you drunk and take advantage of you? he asks in a low, dark voice. – I’m just not that kind of guy, Isak.

Isak feels so hot in his cheeks. – You’re not?

– Not at all, Even says, keeping his gaze. –  I need trust, comfort, and connection first.

– Okay, so that’s what rocks your boat. Good to know.

They both laugh now. Isak feels like he’s blushing from his head to his toes. He takes a deep gulp of his beer.

Even looks at him and raises his eyebrows. – So… How are things, Isak? Are you still in the playground equipment business?

Isak is surprised that Even remembers. – Uh. I’m not sure it’s my dream job, but I got this job when I had this study crisis and I had no idea what to do, and now I’m kind of happy with it.

– Yeah, I thought that you wanted to work with something that requires the science subjects.

– I sort of did, yeah. In my job now I work with planning, sales, and IT, and I get to work a lot with problem-solving, but it’s not exactly Physics or Science. It sure isn’t Biology. I kind of like the freedom in my job, though, with all the travelling and stuff, and I have learned so much about marketing, but I guess I wish I had finished my degree.  

He takes a deep breath. Fuck. He never usually talks much about this. Even really makes him open up. – How about you? he asks. – You’re still working as a psychologist, right?

– Yes, I am, Even nods, and looks almost tired. – And I am... kind of… slowly burning out, to be honest. I am working my ass off, and all the stories the kids tell me are getting to me. So yeah. Apart from that it’s alright.

He laughs a little, but Isak can see the sincerity in his eyes.

– I didn’t know it was that rough, Isak says.

– No, well, I tend to pretend that everything is fine for far too long. So I say yes to everything until the work piles up and I’m almost suffocating. I’m just expecting someone to figure me out, sooner or later. You know, I should specialize as a clinical child psychotherapist; that would give me 200 000 kroner more in salary each year, but I’m too afraid of the responsibilities that a title like that would give me, so I keep postponing it.

– Aren’t you a child psychotherapist already?

– Nah, that’s like a doctorate. I’m just a regular psychologist. But I should specialize. Most psychologists do.

– Wow, Isak chuckles. – That’s some twisted avoidance right there.

Even laughs. – Sure is.

Isak smiles, it feels kind of nice to hear that Even doesn’t have this perfect job situation either. – You know, to be focused on your career isn’t everything. If you can find a way to be happy with your job, that must be more important than your degree or income, right?

Even stares at him, like he’s said something he never thought of before. – Yeah, you’re kind of right.

Isak sighs. – Of course, he says, – I’m always right. He smiles, to show that he’s (partly) kidding. – Well. I guess that work was sort of a depressing subject, he says. – Are you still into movies and shit?

Even breaks out in another wide smile, and oh shit, it’s beautiful.

– Yeah, sure, it’s practically all I ever do after work. If I’m not making movies, I’m watching movies. And you? What do you do in your free time?

– Nothing, basically. I workout, watch Netflix, read a book or two or hang out with my friends.

Even nods, and asks him about his favourites. Isak answers, and as he does, he realizes that he’s having a great time. Actually, he’s having more fun with this party than he ever thought he would. They eat and talk about everything from hobbies to favorite music and movies, about what they like and don’t like. When they talk, Even looks at him with his blue eyes, and Isak can't help but meet his gaze. Something in his eyes makes Isak wonder if there just might be a small hope for something between them. And it gives him a tingling feeling up his spine.

It surprises him that they have some common music heroes although Even has some questionable hangups on some cheesy pop songs.

– Don't be a music snob, Even laughs. – I’m sure you love the most cheesy songs deep down. I’ll figure you out, just wait and see.

Of course Even’s right, but Isak will never admit to that. Not now, anyway.

Isak tells him more about his studies in biology and passion for science and about weird scientific theories, and Even tells him how he ended up studying psychology, because he wanted to understand people, but that he ended up getting stressed out by the fight for good grades. That he chose to finish his studies because it felt safe and because he wanted to keep the filming as a hobby. Isak tells Even that he dreams of studying more, but that he fears that he won't be good enough.

Isak doesn't know if it’s the beer or the good vibe in the room but they talk like they have known each other for years, and he loves it. He just wishes that they had known each other like that, for real.

When Even excuses himself to go to the bathroom (don’t miss me too much, he whispers), and Isak feels like he’s been in a bubble for hours. He turns to his left, and catches Sana watching him. It’s like she looks right through him.  

– Having a great time? she asks. And, of course she does. Sana knows him well.

Isak blushes. – Yeah, sure, this is great.

– You weren’t so enthusiastic yesterday? she grins. – What’s changed?

Isak groans. – Oh, fuck off, did Eva tell you?

Sana shakes her head but grins knowingly. – Almost everyone knows, stupid. You look like you could eat him up.

Oh. Really? Isak stares at her in shock, but then someone else catches her attention. And then his phone pings.

You look like you’re having a great time, his Secret Santa writes. How are you doing?

Isak looks around, but can’t see any of the guests with their phones. He writes an answer: I didn’t have great expectations, but I’m really enjoying myself, actually. Great food and good company.

Sounds good. Let me know if you have more wishes for your Santa. ;)

I will!

Isak smiles. He starts to think about the fact that he’s a Santa too, so he types out a message to Even, trying to be as flirty as he possibly could be.  

You are looking good tonight, Even, and it seems like you’re having fun. This Secret Santa happening is just your thing, isn’t it?

It sure is, Santa! And thank you. I am having a great time. All these happy people gathered together just make me glad, too.

That’s cool, Even. Enjoy yourself! A good friend basically told me to live a little. I could pass that good advice on to you.

Oh, that is some good advice, I can do that! :)

Isak puts his phone away, to make sure that Even doesn’t catch him when he comes back. He meets Jonas’ gaze across the table.

– Everything good? Jonas asks, raising his bushy eyebrows.

– Yeah, it’s great, Isak smiles. He wants to say more, but the chatter and laughter in the room make it difficult to be heard. He settles for a smile and a nod.

Jonas looks very pleased. – Later, he says, and dives back into a deep discussion with Noora and Mahdi.

Even flops down next to him. – So, have you missed me, baby?

Baby . Isak can’t find his voice. He feels his cheeks flush hot, and his stomach is heavy. He takes a deep breath and smiles. – Yeah, you’re a dork, you know.

– I know. So, have you figured out who your Secret Santa is yet?

Isak shakes his head. – Not a clue. Actually, I thought it would be a lot easier. How about you?

– No, I really don’t know, Even answers, and shrugs. – This whole thing is exciting, though. I think I have a good idea for a present for my giftee.

– Already? I’m impressed. I don’t know at all. Was there a price limit?

– Yeah. 200 kroner. It makes it almost impossible to find something, but that’s the fun of it.

Isak sighs. – I hear you. It sounds like I might need a little help figuring out what to give.

Something twinkles in Even’s eyes. – Oh, I’d be happy to help, Isak. Maybe we could go Christmas shopping one day?

Oh my god. Isak doesn’t know where to look. His heart pounds in his throat, threatening to break out. The thought of doing the Christmas shopping with his biggest crush is anything but reassuring. The fact that Even is his giftee is also worrying, of course. How could he do his Christmas shopping with Even?

He fakes a smile. – Ha ha, yeah, that could be cool.

– What is this? You don’t look enthusiastic at all?

Even leans closer, and oh my god, he puts his arm around Isak’s shoulders. Fuck, he had forgot how touchy and feely he could be. Isak’s skin tingles where Even touches him and his heart beats erratically in his chest so hard that he thinks it might fly out.

– No, I just… Christmas shopping isn’t my favourite activity, I guess.

– Fair enough.

How come Even’s smile can shine so much?

Isak tries to remain calm. But how is that remotely possible with his heart somersaulting and with Even sitting dangerously close to him, his sandy hair tousling haphazardly in a way Isak has come to adore and Even’s blue eyes locking him into a trance with such intensity; looking away is unthinkable.

His paralysis is interrupted by Eva, who speaks to them all. – This has been so lovely my friends, but this evening is coming to an end!

Aaaw’s and ooh’s rise around the table.

Eva laughs. – Yeah, I know. But we’ll meet up again, guys. Just remember to keep in touch with your giftees and Secret Santas, so this can be a fun thing for everyone.

She gets some cheers for that.

– Let’s toast for lovely gifts and nice surprises!

They toast, and Eva sighs happily. She looks a little tipsy but mostly very glad. – It’s so nice to see all of you here, on the first Sunday of Advent. Oh, we should light the first light in the Advent Wreath, she suddenly says. – That could be a nice way to end this gathering. Let me just find the candles, guys...

And she’s gone.

Isak shoots a glance at Sana. – It doesn’t bother you? he asks. – Lighting the candles and everything?

Sana laughs. – Nah. I have nothing against Norwegian traditions. It’s not like Christmas is only a Christian tradition, anyway.

Isak grins. – True.

He turns back to Even. Even looks at him and smiles, and Isak struggles a little to find the words again. – So. It seems like the evening’s over soon.

Even nods and sighs. – Yeah, it’s a pity. I had a lot of fun tonight.

– Yeah, me too.

Even smiles. – Good. So… I can’t tempt you to come Christmas shopping with me one day, then? It could be fun, you know?

Isak blushes. – Uhm… Maybe?

Even slides closer. He looks into Isak’s eyes. – You know what? I got some really good advice today, he said.

– Yeah? What was that?

– To live a little.

Isak raises an eyebrow. – Profound.

– Maybe not. But it’s good advice, isn’t it?

– Uhm. Sure.

Isak forgets everything and everyone else. The sound of everyone chatting fades away as the only thing he can see is Even. Isak can’t tear his eyes away. Even’s face is so close. And now he reaches out and lets his hand rest on top of Isak’s. His eyes hold Isak’s gaze, and there’s a careful question in his eyes. Oh fucking hell, is this really happening?

He can’t do this, can he? Can they do this?

Even’s lips look so soft, so tempting. Isak can’t help himself. His hand reaches up and his fingers gently touch Even’s cheek. Then he traces Even’s bottom lip lightly with the tip of his finger. It pouts slightly, and Isak has such an urge to bite it, to kiss it, to wrap Even up in a hug and never let go. Even’s lips feel slightly chapped under Isak’s light touches but he simply cannot bring himself to give a damn.

The chatter suddenly quiets down around them, and Isak is dragged out of his trance. He blushes and wonders if anyone has noticed how gone he is. However, everyone is looking at Eva, who stands at her place with a big Advent Wreath in front of her. It looks beautiful, but Isak’s mind is not quite there at all. Even… He almost kissed Even… And now he lost his chance. The evening’s over soon …. He stares at Eva as she lights the first candle in the Advent Wreath. – Now we light a candle tonight, she says. We light it for joy…

Isak listens to the words and they suddenly make sense. Joy. That’s it. He can’t fight this. There’s just something about Even that makes him feel like a life without him would be grey and meaningless. He can’t let Even slip away. Not this time.

He can’t hold back any longer. He turns so that he faces Even again, and whoa, Even’s still sitting close, still watching him, still resting his hand on Isak’s. Isak leans forward, almost like he’s going in for a hug. Isak feels Even’s cheek against his, and then his nose.

His lips gently brush Isak’s and Isak breathes in the smell of him as they press their lips together. God, Even’s lips taste so sweet, of gløgg, wine and Christmas spices. Even smiles into the kiss as Isak’s fingers tug at his hair and his other hand pulls at his shirt. Even’s warm hands roam all over Isak’s back, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake.

Even lets go of his mouth, only to kiss his neck. – God, you’re beautiful, he whispers so Isak feels his warm breath in his ear. Isak wrinkles his nose in protest.

– Shut up and kiss me again, he whispers back.

[black-morticia]

          I got inspired by that “China Dad Hires Hitman on Unemployed Son” post because of a mutual said it was the Shimadas and I decided to write a fic about it. I’m going to double post on here and on AO3. I’m not sure if I’ll just make this into a one-shot and that’s it or make it into a series called Shimada Shenanigans and be one-shots about them growing up. Kinda depends on the feedback I get on this fic or if I just wanna write about them since Blizzard isn’t giving us anything. Who knows~ 

AO3: Father Knows Best

Summary: Genji slacking off wasn’t anything new to anyone, especially not to his father. Whether it was his friends, his date for the week, or just plain laziness it was expected out of the young Shimada. So when he starts obessessing over an online game, everyone was ready to just deal with it. But Sojiro realizes he needs a new method to solve an old problem. Unconventional yes but when have parents ever made sense?

          Growing up, Hanzo and Genji would joke that every time they would annoy their father, a single white hair would grow on his head, within that very moment. And now years later in their late teens, their father’s white streak of hair was like a testimony of the stress Sojiro has endured in his 39 years. Right now, wasn’t any different.

“But dad~” Came yet another whine from Genji in the past two minutes of their already half hour long argument.

           A half hour ago, Genji “casually” brought up the fact that a few kids from his school are travelling to New York City for the summer. Hanzo already heard this speech due to Genji using him as practice before asking their father about Genji going. So when Genji waltz into the dining room, giving Sojiro a peck on his temple as he read the news, Hanzo immediately knew what was about to happen.      

“Looking sharp, father. New suit?” Genji asked, actually caring a tad bit because it was in fact a nice suit Sojiro was wearing.

“I have a meeting with the Eto clan. You know how annoying he is…” Sojiro grumbled, already dreading his day but gave no sign he was suspicious of his youngest child.

           Genji just hummed just before he gave Hanzo a wink. “So uh dad… A couple of buddies of mine are going to New York City for vacation this year.” He started out, trying to eat his breakfast as well as check for his father’s reaction.

“Oh? That sounds nice.” Sojiro answered, not taking his eyes off his papers. “Tell them to bring you back something.”

“Well actually dad. I was thinking about going.” Genji said giving his best smile despite his father not looking at him.

“Going where?” Sojiro replied.

“To New York City.”

“With whom?”

“My friends; Kazuki, Toshi, Yasou, and Goro.”

“What about them?”

“They’re going to New York.”

“And?”

“I want to go with them!” Genji yelled the last part out of frustration. Damnit, was it irritating when Sojiro would do that.

“Ohhh, I see.” Sojiro said finally putting his papers down. “No.”

           Genji blinked, while Hanzo attempted to hide his snort behind his cup. Sojiro looked at the both of them, before downing his tea, which may or may not have had a little shot of vodka in it, and standing up to head to his office.

“Give me one good reason why I can’t go!” The teen demanded, following behind their father, breakfast long forgotten.

“I will give you five. Three for the three C’s you got and two for the two F’s you got in school. And I will add a bonus. You have been slacking off during your training.” Sojiro continued walking to his office. “And until you get your grades up and actually show up for training, the furthest place you’ll be going for vacation is the front gate.”

“Oh come on!”

“Do not ‘Oh come on’ me. I am not one of your little friends, Genji.” Sojiro turned back him, to make it clear how serious he was about this. “If only you knew your homework as much as you know those damn video games, we would not be having this discussion. Which is over as of right.”

           Fast forward 30 minutes and Genji is still debating the trip with their father as Hanzo read a book as he sat on the couch. Whether or not this was even considered a debate is a debate within itself. Most debates have equal footing but Genji was nowhere near on his father’s level. But that didn’t stop Genji from continuing to push. Stubbornness was a family trait.

“God you’re being so unfair, you know that!” Genji stomped his foot like a 5 year old and not the 16 year old that he was. That alone earned him yet another sigh of annoyance from their old man. “Like grades matter when I’m going to be working in the clan anyways. I bet half the staff here didn’t even finish school.”

“Here’s the thing I want you to understand, my Sparrow. I don’t give a damn about the staff or anyone else for that matter besides my children. And to my very firm knowledge, none of them are my children. My children are you two.” Sojiro replied, finally looking up from his file that he was reading. “But that does not mean you can use your bloodline as an excuse to slack off.”

          Lord Shimada’s honeyed eyes were tired, as always, but still calm despite how long and repetitive this discussion has gotten. And beyond his previous show of annoyance, Sojiro maintained his cool composer. How their father was able to maintain his sometimes icy and distant composer was something the boys had yet to understand. They used to laugh at seeing rival clan leaders turn red with a vein bursting in their neck, as Sojiro remained unaffected by whatever insult they would throw at him. But being on the other side of it was a different story.

           Hanzo could just see how increasingly frustrated Genji was with their father. Genji was 100% in the wrong completely. But that does not mean he cannot relate to his little brother’s clear annoyance with how cold, Sojiro could be. That part he could not fault his little brother. But that is as far as his sympathy went for Genji.

“But Kazuki’s dad is letting him leave for the summer!” The green haired teen folded his arms. “And he way worse than me!”

           Hanzo scoffed. “Yeah, and Kazuki’s dad is also a 62 year old man who just married his fifth, 24 year old wife…” Genji shot a glare at his brother. “Isn’t he getting ready to go on trial for embezzlement?” As if they all didn’t know the answer to that question.

“Shut up. That’s not the point.” Genji huffed. “My point is that Kazuki’s dad-”

“Oh is that so?” Sojiro looked at his youngest son. Neither brother liked the haughty tone their father was using. “Well if Kazuki’s father is so great, why don’t you move in with them, huh?” Genji didn’t respond, unsure where Sojiro was going with this. “I am sure, him being so grand and amazing that he will have no problem moving you in, hm?” Sojiro’s smile would honestly be mistaken as genuine. “And since he is so amazing, I am positive he will buy you a new phone and car, as well as anything else, right?” In that instant, his smile dropped as he stuck his hand out. “So be sure to leave your keys and phone here.”

           The green haired teen groaned loudly, stomping his foot before storming out. Hanzo could no longer contain his laughter after the office door was slammed shut as his father pinched the bridge of his nose. “I swear we need a schedule. I cannot keep dropping everything to deal with him when he’s behaving like an infant.”

“Maybe you should let him move in with Kazuki…” Hanzo said after collecting himself. “He will understand how it is to live with someone just like him.”

           If the short glare he got was anything to go by, his father did not like that plan at all. “I just don’t understand the sudden change in him…”

“You think he got back with his ex?” Hanzo suggested.

“Which one?” The elder man scoffed.

“The one you hated.”

“Which one?”

           The elder son couldn’t help but chuckle. “Fair point. But honestly? It’s that online game he’s been playing.” Hanzo wasn’t sure how many times at night he’s caught his little brother staring unblinking at his screen, playing some MMO game.

“Game? What game? Those damn arcade games?” Sojiro asked.

“No. It’s an online game. Blade and Soul or whatever… Something ridiculous.” Hanzo pretended to not know, to hide the fact that he himself has taken up with the game as well. But unlike Genji, Hanzo had some semblance of self-control.

           Sojiro merely hummed as he leaned back in his chair. He knew his youngest son. Once Genji takes interest in something, it is hell to get him to not obsess over it. Whether if it’s a foolish idea, a movie, or even a girl/boy/omnic, Genji throws himself into it full force. What whatever his new special interest was, he hyper focuses on it for Gods’ know how long. And if it’s a game, then it’ll be even more problematic to get him to stop. Genji would strive to be the best. Competiveness was also a family trait.

“I need a drink…” The man grumbled. Hanzo snorted, before standing up, mumbling a low ‘I’ll get it’. Once he finally alone the first time that morning, Sojiro let out a heavy sigh. He found himself debating on actually taking back on what he said and just let Genji on the trip, maybe take Hanzo with him. Maybe then he’ll get some semblance of peace for a few weeks. But he realized once again he was going easy on them. They were spoiled enough as it is. And the Elders where wearing on his already low patience for them. He didn’t need them telling him how to raise his own kids any more than they try to.

           His eldest son came back with a glass of red wine, to which Sojiro gladly took. “Before you go, my Eldest… What was the name of the game, your brother is playing again?” Hanzo pretended to think before answering.

“Blade and Soul… I think?”

           Sojiro nodded before waving Hanzo away. Alone again, Sojiro took a gulp of his wine before going to his computer. A little research on what the hell his second son was playing wouldn’t hurt.

~

“Fuck this fucking game!” A shout from the youngest master’s room was heard through the halls. A crash was heard before Genji came storming out of his room furious. He swore up and down as he stomped to his elder brother’s room before slamming the door behind him. The green hair teen plomped on Hanzo’s bed, not acknowledging his sibling who was laying on his bed.

“Uh… Hello?” Hanzo was both annoyed and confused by his brother’s outburst.

“Did I ever tell you how much video games suck?!” Genji somewhat asked. Hanzo has heard this speech before (19 times to be exact) and did not want to hear it again.

          Hanzo rolled his eyes, realizing his moments of peace are over. It’s moments like this where he relates deeply with his father. Maybe they should make a schedule to deal with Genji… “Save me the theatrics Shakespeare… What happened this time? Game glitched right when you were about to beat a level?”

          Genji shot up to look at his brother with so much fire in his eyes. “I wish! Some asshole kept killing me!” Hanzo remained silent, looking at his sibling with a bored look. He opened his mouth to reply with a smart ass comment. “And before you give me a smartass comment. Yes, I know that’s the part of the game. But this was different.”  A silent ‘Sure it is’ was in the air. “The dickhead was a level 80 and I swear on mom’s grave he was stalking me! I could barely teleport before, he pop up and kill me in one attack. I even went to a different server and boom! He was there and killed me again! It was so annoying!” Genji slammed head first onto the bed, letting out a groan.

“How tragic…” Hanzo sighed. “Now can you get out of my-”

“You want to train?” The bratty teen asked, showing his face. “I want to hit something.”

           The elder brother looked baffled for a second. Since when as Genji ever suggested they train? Hanzo lost count at the many times Genji had to be dragged to the training room by his ear. But if his green haired brother was offering, he would not object. “Uh, sure? Let’s go then.”

~

           Dinner time in the Shimada household did not need to be as grand as it was but it wouldn’t be a Shimada dinner. Most of the guards are were out on a job so the dining hall was rather empty. Sojiro and Hanzo talked between each other, Hanzo mainly asking about his father’s meeting with the Eto clan and when the next meeting with their allies would be; A normal conversation between the father and son.

           Of course, in the Shimada household moments of peace were rare as Genji slammed opened the doors. He slugged his way to his seat, giving a few grunts to the guards who gave him their usual ‘Young Master’ greeting.

“Do you not intend to speak today? Or is this a vow of silence?” Sojiro asked, now turning his attention to his second son.

“I just read through eight chapters of that stupid book our teacher assigned for the summer.” Genji mumbled. “It’s so boring dad. You might like it.”

           With a twitch to his eyebrow, Sojiro choose to ignore that little comment. “What made you decide to read it then?” He went back to his plate of food, glancing at Genji from time to time.

“I can’t play my game anymore. That asshole-“

“No swearing at the table.” Sojiro was quick to correct. Genji rolled his eyes. “And if you’re going to roll your eyes, you can roll them right back to your room, Genji.”

Genji sighed dramatically but didn’t push. “Whatever. Some high level player keeps hounding me. I did everything. I changed servers. I changed my password, thinking I got hacked. I made a new character and somehow he still found me. Hell I even used Hanzo’s laptop and the prick still killed me.”

“You took my laptop?” Hanzo asked, already sounding annoyed.

“Anyways, I hate that game now. And since I can’t go to New York with my friends… I’ll be like Hanzo and- OW!” Genji felt a strong kick his shin. The younger sibling looked his brother with annoyance and to his father for assistance but Sojiro was too busy sipping from his glass of wine to care.

“Hm… How odd…” Sojiro said lowly into his cup.

           It was only for a split second, but Hanzo was sure of what he saw; a smirk. A rather cocky triumphant smirk from his father. He didn’t think anything of it until he started to remember the past few days. How so sudden Genji’s problem with his game started, how very strategic it was, how much of a coincidence the whole thing sounded.

Very odd indeed.

~

           Normally, Hanzo would knock on his father’s office door and wait until he was granted permission but he couldn’t wait. In his defense he did knock, but gave his father no time to even speak before he said anything. Looking over his glasses as he stopped writing, Sojiro was confused by this sudden intrusion from his first born.

“Something you ne-”

“It was you.” Hanzo declared with his arms folded and the most smug grin on his face.

“Me?” Sojiro asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes. You. And you know what I’m talking about, so you should just admit it.”

“I honestly don’t.” Sojiro put his pen down, and looked his son even more uncertainty.  

           Hanzo scoffed. “You and I both know you are too smart and too prideful to play dumb. It’s not a good look for you. So quit pretending.” Hanzo was so sure of himself about this.

           Sojiro let out a heavy sigh, taking off his glasses, leaning back in his chair. “Okay fine. I was the one who cheated during last week’s card game. Happy?”

“Yes- Wait what?” Now it was Hanzo’s turn to be confused.

“Honestly, I know I am the first to talk about honor in victory but when a lot of money is on the line, honor can come second.”

           A paused ensued, before Hanzo spoke. “First off. I want a rematch. Secondly, I am talking about Genji’s stupid game. I know you have something to do with it somehow. I saw that smirk you had last night when Genji told you about it.”

           Sojiro folded his arms, looking at his first son intently before chuckling. “So what if I did? You know your brother. He was not going to listen to reason. So yes, I had to take matters into my own hands. As I always do around here.”

“I knew you were ruthless but wow…” Hanzo shook his head with a smirk. “So how did you do it? Call the game company to target Genji’s character?”

“We are a clan of assassins, my Eldest. I merely hired an outside party. It was not hard to find the top players of the game and ask one of them to handle Genji’s character every time he logged in.”

“I can see the headline now… Japan Dad Hires Virtual ‘Hitman’ To Take Out Lazy, Video-Gaming Son. Catchy huh?” That smug grin on Hanzo’s face was starting to bug Sojiro. He could feel it in his wallet.

“Not as catchy as Japan Dad Hires Real Hitman on His Rat of a Son for Snitching on Him.” Sojiro hissed out.

Hanzo shrugged. “Hm… Mines better. However I’m not going to tell Genji…” Sojiro patiently waited for the ‘but’ in that statement. “But I will expect a raise in my allowance by this week.”

Sojiro scoffed, waving his son off. He knew his wallet was going to be affected by this. “Yes, yes, yes. Fine. Now shoo. I have a lot of work to do.” Hanzo gave his father another smile before heading out. He’s positive that a white hair just sprouted in his father’s hair just now. Lord Shimada huffed, shaking his head as he turned in his chair to look out his giant window. He couldn’t help but scoff.

“Gamers…”