#and the wilbur is like «rabies‚ you say?»

[azzysflowergarden]

Does anyone know who made the ms paint DSMP «Rabies, you say?» comic? Because it is literally the reason I was able to identify rabies in my health care class.

[nomsfaultau]

out of context plot points in Mandatory Family Reunion

Most of these are from gags from my fic. But others are horrific events completely reframed. Good luck guessing which is which !

A Dr. Pepper ruins Techno’s life

Tommy gets grounded for trying to shoot Philza

Techno has an AA meeting with his kidnappers

“Fun life advice with Techno: Turns out it’s not hard to fake cry when you’re constantly trying not to sob! Neat. Probably super applicable for normal people too.”

A black ops raid is sent to deliver Christmas presents

Tommy carries onions in his pockets so he can fake cry on command. This is funny until it isn't

On the other hand, that isn't modeling clay in Wilbur's pockets

Techno’s parents always have his back!

“It’s just the anxiety. I feel like I would’ve seen the achievement pop up if I got PTSD.”

Philza gets a rabies shot because of Techno

“But if [Philza's] years of running a criminal empire have taught him anything, all it takes is a can-do attitude and unfathomable wealth.”

Officer Jenny commits police brutality

It's always a bad sign when you can hear your parents giving you advice

Philza straight up drinks poison but is alright (unlike Skeppy)

Squidkid loses hide and seek with Wilbur bc he’s a dirty cheater

Techno’s hair is burnt off but, like, it’s not a big deal

If you can't replace your son's abusive parents yourself, store bought is fine. (Philza actively gets more scared when it works)

It's not a coma if you're in enough denial about it!

“[Tommy] hands over a real security ID. Sure enough, the middle name actually is Danger. Sam has very interesting parents, and a long and fascinating backstory that will never be mentioned again.”

Quackity implies Edgeworth x Wright is cannon

Techno hits rock bottom in an elevator. actually 3 people in the fic have elevator trauma. Maybe the real Mandatory Family Reunion was the elevator trauma we made along the way.

“Skeppy, I think the dog has ulterior motives.”

GPS failure nearly costs a court case

Techno helps run a criminal empire for like 2 weeks. But not that criminal empire.

“They were like a family to me” and “I love you” and “For you? The world, Phil” are the most devestating lines techno says

Yes. This story is definitely pure crack. No angst here no siree! It's all jokes and japes galore. Ignore the sobbing.

[dustbunnylair]

Shubble/Shelby's Situation: People Defending The Abuser and Shaming The Victim (!TW: Mentions of abuse/abusive relationship!)

7 months ago, on February 21st, 2024, a Twitch streamer with around 468K followers spoke out about being abused by another Twitch streamer and artist, who is now her ex on a stream titled, “Talking About Something More Serious”. The Twitch streamer who spoke out goes by Shubble or Shelby, she described the at the time unnamed Twitch streamer as (mainly) British, popular, and also in the music industry, fans quickly connected the dots to the popular Twitch streamer and lead singer in the band, Lovejoy, Wilbur Soot. 

I won’t go into full detail about what Shubble said, as I would prefer for people to listen to her say it, rather than someone else. But, the main things were that Wilbur did not follow a safe word that they set in place, and would bite her to the point of her screaming out in pain. He was also slobbish and dirty in his living situation. Unfortunately, Shubble has not provided any proof of bruises, markings, etc. but that doesn’t mean she’s lying, not every abuse victim documents their injuries, and honestly in my opinion, maybe she’s uncomfortable with sharing those injuries, those injuries are really none of our business to see.

A few days later, Wilbur Soot, made a response, which if you would like to read it you can find it here, I’ll sum it up to what I had processed within the response:

First off, he says it’s a response rather than an apology. Second, he didn’t even mention Shubble’s name, he only referred to her as “ex-girlfriend” or “this person” he never said her name. I want that to be emphasized because that’s quite common in abusers, they literally will not say their victim’s name(s) as a form of dissociation or just not taking accountability.

Many people including famous people such as Ranboo, Tommyinnit, Sneegsnag, Lil Tay, Billzo, Aimsey, Dream even, to fully call out Wilbur, as they should. Let’s also emphasize how absolutely batshit insane it is that Lil Tay and Billzo said shit about him, Lil Tay does not know this man and Billzo is literally never active on social media, no hate to them though obviously, shoutout to them for calling him out. Dream responding to Wilbur is so diabolical, you know an apology/response sucked ass when DREAM of all people responds to you and REWRITES the response. 

I have found many people on social media, more specifically TikTok and Pinterest, borderline defending Wilbur Soot. From getting mad at Shubble for telling her viewers to stream her stream instead of Wilbur's newest song, which yeah is a bit immature coming from a 30 y/o woman, but remember this is literally her abuser and she’s probably just joking around and coping. Not to mention the person who “called out” Shubble for not being able to “move on” can’t move on from Shubble nor Wilbur themselves.

Hypocrite alert…Honestly, Wilbur defenders are either stuck in 2019-2021 or are just insanely parasocial. Wilbur does not know you, you do not know him, he is a content creator and singer. I *was* a Wilbur fan before “Your New Boyfriend” came out, and look, I’ve moved on from him, 5 years of my life went to waste but at least I’m not supporting an abuser. It’s so funny seeing Wilbur dick riders getting mad at people for calling him niblur soot or saying he has rabies and needs a muzzle. 

It’s always “always believe the victim” until the abuser is someone you like or is conventionally attractive. I’ve seen multiple people ask why Shubble hasn’t sued Wilbur but has sued a car company. It’s so obvious that these people do not know shit about abusive relationships. Almost like if you were to take it to court and sue him, it wouldn’t change anything for Shubble other than some money or some shit, it doesn’t change the fact that she has trauma from the abuse, and it certainly isn’t gonna make him take accountability. Plus abuse in women or literally any gender, is invalidated most of the time.

People say that Wilbur is getting therapy just from his word. But me and other people are clearly seeing he isn’t showing change whatsoever, in fact, he literally looks like he’s on drugs, like coke. I remember someone made a TikTok talking about how skinny Wilbur looks and saying he’s probably starving himself. He’s 6’5 and has always been fucking lanky, and starving yourself isn’t the only thing that makes you lose weight, it’s also drugs!

I’m honestly just so sick and tired of seeing people say “Shubble admitted to lying” and then when you ask for proof of that they don’t respond, because she’s never admitted to that. Even other creators, not just Shubble, have come out and said Wilbur’s abusive behavior, like Tommyinnit. I mean, James Marriott hasn’t spoken out about this, and he doesn’t have to, that’s not something that’s required from him, but in one of James Marriott’s videos from 3 years ago, he and Wilbur did like this drunk video and it was called “If We Laugh, The Video Ends…(ft. Wilbur Soot)”, but throughout the video Wilbur just sometimes gets violent, and it doesn’t seem like a bit because most of the time James reacts genuinely concerned.

And before anyone uses the “Oh but he was drunk” excuse, I don’t want to hear it, the more drunk you are, the more of the real you comes out, he was drunk as fuck and his real self was coming out. 

Yeah, honestly that’s all I have to say about this topic for right now. Don’t go harass Wilbur or any Wilbur supporters, just try to educate them or block them, both are valid. If I have more to add I’ll make a follow-up post. But yeah, always believe the victim, don’t defend abusers. Keep yourself safe.

[winterwolf0120]

Chapter 2: When Bendy, Tommy, and Uzi got confused about what's going on. They went outside of the hotel room and head down to the lobby and they heard Chris was dying out laughing, and Claire is really tired of his shit -_-. But then Loona, V, Octavia, and Wilbur saw Tommy, Bendy, and Uzi talking to Chris and Claire about what's going because they were on their date. And CatNap and Jill got back to the hotel because they were out shopping and they saw Tommy, Bendy, Uzi, Loona, V, Wilbur, and Octavia standing where Chris and Claire were. So both, CatNap and Jill went up to them and they were confused.

Chris: 🤣🤣🤣🤣. OH MY GOD🤣🤣🤣

Claire: 😑

Claire: Chris, you need to put this stupid rat outside, where it belongs.

Chris: But, Claire!!!

Claire: PUT IT OUTSIDE!!!!!! BEFORE I'M ABOUT TO THROW THE FUCK UP!!!

Chris: Okay, fine.

Chris: *put the rat back outside of the hotel*

Bendy: Uh, guys what's going on?

Claire: You don't want to know.

Tommy: Say, do you know where Leon is?

Loona: No, I haven't seen him, I thought he was upstairs in the room hanging out with Jada and N chilling, having a sleepover or something?

Bendy: Hmm. I don't know Loona, I mean I was hanging out with Tommy and Uzi, and we got confused and I heard Leon, Jada, and N screaming about something?🤨

Uzi: Hmm, I wonder why?

But, then Freddy got out of the elevator and he told Tommy, Bendy, Uzi and the others (Loona, V, Jill, CatNap, Octavia, and Wilbur).

Freddy: Guys! I gone outside, and Leon, Jada, and N are missing.

Tommy: What! Where... Where's, Leon, Jada, and N!?

Bendy: Wait a minute. Freddy where's my girlfriend?

Uzi: Oh god! What do you mean? Where's N!?

Jill: Freddy, where's Jada and Leon. They're my brother and sister.

Chris: Uhhhhhh......0_0

Claire: Ask Chris, he knows.

Tommy, Bendy, Uzi, and the others (Loona, V, Freddy, Jill, CatNap, Octavia, and Wilbur) look and stared at Chris with a furious look on their face. Chris looked confused about why they are looking at him.

Chris: Uhhh... Guys why are you looking at me for?

Tommy: What happened, Chris. Where's my boyfriend?

Chris: I don't know. 0_0

Wilbur: Chris. What did you do?

Chris: I pulled a prank on Leon, Jada, and N. 0_0

Jill: A prank?

CatNap: Wait a minute. What... What prank?

Octavia: Seriously, like what are you saying, Chris?

Chris: Well I... uhh... 0_0

V: Chris, what did you prank them with?

Loona: Chris, you better spill the fucking bean.

Chris: Okay, okay! So me and Claire went outside to get some fresh air and I just found a live rat and I picked it up with its tail.

Freddy: A rat!? You brought a rat inside the hotel!?

Chris: ...yeah. 0_0

Freddy: That's disgusting Chris!? Nigga, those things have rabies.

Loona: Freddy, shut up! I want to hear what Chris is saying.

Uzi: Where's my boyfriend?

Chris: Well, I...

Wilbur: Where is Leon, Jada, and N at, Chris?

Chris: ...

Octavia: Come on, Chris spit it out.

Chris: ...😥

Wilbur: Chris. What did you do?

Chris: Isn't it obvious Wilbur, I brought a rat into the hotel and I went inside of Leon, Jada, and N's room and I scared the shit out of them and I started chasing after them with the rat that was on my hand and they ran off.

Tommy and Wilbur: WHAT!?😡

Jill: YOU SCARED THEM AWAY!?!?!?!?!?!?😡

CatNap: Jill, babe calm down I'm pretty sure we can find them. *CatNap angrily looking at Chris*

Claire: I told him that, it was a bad idea and I told him not to bring a rat into the fucking hotel lobby, but he didn't even listen!!!😠

Chris: I just thought it would be a funny ass prank that I did. And you shouldn't have seen the look on their face.

Bendy: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, CHRIS!? DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO SCARE THEM LIKE THAT!?😡 WHAT HAPPENS IF JADA WOULD GET HURT OUT THERE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!

Uzi: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT TO N, LEON, AND JADA!!! AND THEY GOT LOST BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID, GOD DAMN PRANK!!!!!!😡

Tommy: UNBELIEVIBLE, YOU TOOK THIS WAY TOO FUCKING FAR, CHRIS!!! NOW LEON IS GONE MISSING WITH JADA AND N!!!😡

Chris: I'm sorry, okay I thought will be funny. T^T

Octavia: How could you do something like that to them.

V: Why, Chris? Why did you do a stupid prank to them and you scared them off like that. You know Leon, Jada, and N are afraid of rats!

Chris: V, I did not know okay! I didn't know it would scare them away!

Wilbur: God damnit. Until we find Leon, Jada, and N they'll definitely gonna kick your ass for this.

Loona: You're such a god damn bitch I can't BELIEVE, you just done that!

Chris: ...

Freddy: Way to fucking go Chris. You scared Leon, Jada, and N away.

Claire: Nice going.😠

Chris: T^T

Chris: But at least it's funny that I saw the look on N's face. T^T

Uzi: BITE ME!!! It's probably your fault that you scared Leon, Jada, and N away! I hope you're happy. *walks away*

Tommy, Bendy, Uzi and the others (Loona, V, Freddy, Jill, CatNap, Wilbur, Octavia, and Claire) are really pissed at Chris for pranking me, Leon, and N. Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, and Jill, begin to start worrying about us. CatNap came up to Jill and he gave her hugs and kisses. And Wilbur and Octavia came up to Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, and Jill to started comforting them with CatNap. Until Loona and V went out to find me, Leon, and N, while Freddy, Claire, and Chris went upstairs to their rooms.

Jill: I can't believe Leon and Jada ran off like that, because of Chris.😟

CatNap: It's okay Jill. We'll find them, okay?

Jill: *nodding her head yes*

Wilbur: Tommy, are...are you okay, bro?

Tommy: A little bit. I'm still thinking about Leon.

Octavia: Don't worry Tommy, I'm pretty sure he'll be alright. Besides, he'll protect Jada and N no matter what. And Leon, is a strong bio-human that people ever saw.

Wilbur: Yeah, Octavia was right. Leon is very brave and a strong big beast.

Bendy: Yeah, I agree. And besides Tommy, I felt the same way as well. I'm still thinking about Jada.

Octavia: Hey, Uzi, are you okay?

Uzi: A little bit, I'm just. *sigh* I'm just thinking about N. And I'm still worried about him. Like what happen if something bad might happened to him

Bendy: It'll be okay Uzi. I'm pretty sure Leon is protecting Jada and N. They're probably might be wandering around the city of Washington DC.

Uzi: Yeah, I guess your right, Bendy.

But then, Bendy started to have a speech with Tommy, Uzi, Jill, CatNap, Wilbur, and Octavia. That they can find me, Leon, and N, that we got lost.

Bendy: Look guys, we're not giving up this time. This our chance to stick together. Me as the King of Kings Island. We are brave.

Tommy: Fearless.

Uzi: Strong.

Jill: And being a badass.

Tommy, Uzi, and Jill agreed with Bendy and so as Wilbur, Octavia, and CatNap. But later, that nighttime, Loona and V got back from finding me, Leon, and N.

Wilbur: Any sign of them?

Loona: No we try looking for them but we couldn't find them.

Bendy: ...

Bendy: What about you, V? Do you know where they at?

V: Same as here, I couldn't find them either.

Bendy: *sigh*

Wilbur: So what are we going to do, Bendy.

Bendy started to think about it for a moment.

Bendy: You know what guys. I think it's about to get late I guess we should find them tomorrow morning, I guess.

Wilbur: Yeah, I guess you're right, Bendy. I think they'll be okay as long as they still have each other.

Tommy, Uzi, Octavia, Loona, V, Jill, and CatNap agreed with, Bendy and Wilbur.

Bendy: Loona, can you let Freddy, Claire, and Chris know that tomorrow all of us are heading out to find Jada, Leon, and N.

Loona: Yes, your highness.

Tommy: Okay so, tomorrow we go out to find Jada, N, and Leon my big beast and we'll head back home to Kings Island, Ohio. Is that the plan, Bendy?

Bendy: Yeah

Tommy: Okay👍

But then, Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, Wilbur, Octavia, Loona, and V left the lobby and they head upstairs to their hotel room and Bendy, Tommy, and Uzi shared their room with Wilbur, Octavia, Loona, and V. However, Jill was completely knocked out because she was worrying too much. So CatNap use his sleeping gas to knock her out and she was asleep, so CatNap started carrying his girlfriend, Jill to his hotel room. CatNap told Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, Wilbur, Octavia, Loona, and V good night.

CatNap: Good night, guys.

Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, Loona, V, Wilbur, and Octavia: Good night.

While CatNap and Jill went into their room and get some sleep for tomorrow. And Bendy, Tommy, Uzi, Loona, V, Wilbur, and Octavia will have to stay up a little bit while they started to have their chit chat about finding me, Leon, and N.

Do you you know where me, Leon, and N is?

[sticks-are-bones]

It would be so funny if the Luzu vs. Wilbur custody battle went down like an Ace Attorney game. Like, i have only really seen two characters from that franchise, that Phoneix Wright guy with the funky looking hair and the other gray haired guy who I take to be gay, but i can SEE luzu and wilbur taking their places and pointing dramatically.

like imagine this: The courtroom was silent. All anyone could hear was the panting of the two potential fathers, other than Charlie, who was busy enough with the voices in his mind.

Quackity looked back and forth from one to the other, silently examining their faces. He stroked Tilín in a way that was uncharacteristically soft of him to do, hand gently caressing the cool surface of Tilín’s shell, rather than the harsh promise of a chancla.

Rubius, the devilish angel he was, set a letter down on the courtroom table, exiting with a wink into someplace far, far away from the island. Far away, a man laughed.

The letter itself was nothing special. A plain, white envelope with nothing written on the outside, for it was what was written inside it that was causing anyone that actually cared to wait with baited breath.

Quackity picked up the envelope and slowly ripped it open, only for both Luzu and Wilbur to jump up and yell.

“Your honour, there’s been a mistake. You see—“ Wilbur began, only to be cut off by Luzu rapidly spitting out a string of Spanish.

The argument between Luzu and Wilbur grew in intensity by the second, and with all eyes on the case, well, there were no eyes on the children of the QSMP.

And so, that is how all the QSMP members got devoured by a mother dragon with rabies. However, they say that the argument continues even to this day, and if you step on the island, you’ll hear faint, yet fiery, whispering.

“Cabrón.”

“I’m not coal!”

[jjkyaoi]

why are ppl on tiktok starting to say that wilbur’s music is bad now 🧍‍♂️fun fact; my patience is actually so thin

[omeno]

btw o!tommy is my kid i have adopted him but in a brotherly way o!wilbur can catch this hands if he has issues with it. what is he gonna do ? suffocate on a wall ?

[hornet-breaker]

Infection

Sequel to “Ghost in the Sands,” where we follow up with Wilbur! We do get some Titan anatomy info, not anything nsfw of course jesus-

Tw: vore, cuts, angst

Wilbur was very clingy. He didn’t like you being too far from him, he would get upset when you tried to go out for walks by yourself, and he would constantly emphasize you stay away from Quackity. He was so clingy that on the occasion you would let him swallow you he’d refuse to let you back out unless you threatened to call Las Nevadas. Yet he seemed so lonely…

You sat in his storage stomach yet again, listening to him humming and the sounds of his organs around you as he worked. You felt dizzy, probably because it was so hot in here.

“Wil? Can I come out now? I don’t feel so good, everything is spinning,” you said, pawing weakly at the flesh around you. Odd, your arms felt really heavy…

“Hmm? I can give you some water if you want, here.” Within a few seconds you felt him start coughing you up, tumbling past the razor-sharp feline teeth. He shifted back to a human size and sat down next to you, propping you up against him and offering you a bottle of water. You hastily downed it all, but you didn’t feel any better. You shyly asked for another.

“(Y/n) are you okay? You haven’t been feeling good at all today,” he asked with worry. This was unusual…

“I’m fine, just, dehydrated that’s all…”

Wilbur frowned. “I want you to stand up,” he said, loosening his grip on you.

“Why?”

“(Y/n), please, just stand up.”

You nodded and tried to stand, but your leg was locked into position. Wilbur looked terrified as he scooped you up bridal style and shifted back into his Titan form.

“(Y/n), it is very important you stay awake right now, please; I know you’re probably confused but just trust me.” He said as he went invisible and started running, keeping you cupped against his chest as he ran to hide you from view. You had to admit that was still a really cool power.

Soon the two of you made it to Las Nevadas, probably in under 30 minutes (where it would’ve been 80-95 minutes by horse) and Wilbur shifted back into his human size, forcefully revealing himself. He ran through the gates and immediately started looking for some kind of medic.

“Help me! Someone! I need a medic!” He started shouting, getting people’s attention. You didn’t know what was happening and kept asking him why he was acting up, but halfway through your protests your tongue shut down and went numb. Well, this is weird. Eventually someone did arrive, a sheep woman wearing a fancy coat, and right next to her was Foolish.

“Wilbur,” she greeted blankly.

“Hello Puffy, you’re a medic?” He asked skeptically.

“I know a thing or two about Titan related things, judging by the fact that they stopped being able to talk they might’ve gotten infected, come on.” She said. Wilbur followed her, he couldn’t stop worrying. You were the most terrified out of the 4, what did she mean “infected?”

Puffy set up a tent on the outskirts with Foolish quietly watching from the border. You were rushed inside, laid on a makeshift table, and Puffy told you to strip to your undergarments. You only took off your pants when she suddenly told you to flip over. Right on the leg that had gone dead was a cut that scabbed over. You remembered that cut, you accidentally scratched your leg on Wilbur’s tooth. No wonder why he’s been so worried these past 3 days…

“Shit, it’s just as I feared.” She walked out of the tent and soon Wilbur and Puffy came back in.

“So as I was saying Wilbur, because you didn’t bother to try and clean the cut and let it heal, she’s now got a Clypeantis infection.” Puffy said. You did a double take,

“A wuh?” You asked, your tongue still dead.

“Titan rabies. Titans have a special bacteria called Clypeantis that helps them fight off other diseases like the flu, cancer, malaria, even bubonic plague. However, it’s extremely deadly to humans.” Puffy explained. "I don't know how it works exactly but I know its only friendly in a Titan's bodily fluids."

“Am I goma tie?” You asked with concern, or at least as much as you could muster.

“If you waited a day longer, yes, you would’ve been in the uncurable stage.” She said, “but, luckily Wil knew something was off about you." You sighed with relief.

"Wilbur we got lucky this time, but whatever you're doing you need to slow down or stop, Clypeanits infections are serious." Puffy warned, He nodded shyly, looking down at the floor.

"i understand Puffy," he replied somberly, looking like a guilty child, and you knew he was truly guilty, he seemed to care about you (a little too much really).

"Now (y/n), I'm going to go get an ender chest to get the cure, you can rest now if you need too." Puffy said, leaving the makeshift tent.

Wilbur sat down with an exhausted huff, and you laid there on the makeshift table, glad that you weren't about to die at least. There was a long silence, until Wilbur broke it.

"(y/n) I'm sorry I gave you an infection, I didn't think your leg cut was serious at the time because you just kept pressing on. I should've taken you into the SMP main town sooner." He apologized. you gave him a thumbs up and he scoffed, "Still can't speak?" he teased lightly.

"Huck off," was all you could usher out. Puffy came back and you tried to sit up, your arm was paralyzed. She hummed seeing your response, it wasn't a reassuring one.

"Alright, drink this," she said, unbottling a sort of potion and slipping the lip of the bottle in your mouth. It tasted terrible and you gagged when it was done. "I know it tastes horrible, kind of a way to remind you don't do stupid shit like that again. Wilbur, you take these back with you." She handed Wilbur a bundle of probably 15 antidotes. "One a day for the next 3 days. If they're not better take them to the SMP to a real doctor."

Wilbur nodded and stood up, walking over to you, "Can you put your pants back on?" you nodded and tried to sit up, failing yet again.

"Puffy could you?" Wilbur started, she nodded and shooed him out of the tent, bandaging the wound on your leg and helping you get dressed again. She helped you out of the makeshift tent and Wilbur was waiting for you, standing in the shade under the walls of Las Nevadas.

Wilbur scoped you up with both hands, and the two of you began the trek back to his home. It was oddly quiet, but you seemed to both enjoy and feel unnerved by the silence, well, except for the reoccurring footsteps in the sand and the sounds from the Titan's chest.

[atalante241]

SBI fam dynamic AU but they aren’t a real family

Phil and Techno accidentally buy the same house from some sleazy real estate agent, Phil with his [x] yr old son Wilbur and Techno with the screaming banshees in his head. They move in on the same day and are like “who the fuck are you”. But there’s another twist of a homeless rodent known as Tommy living there already. And none of them can rly kick each other out bc 1) they bought the house legally 2) they don’t wanna get bit by the child that probs has rabies.

Do Techno and Phil know each other beforehand? Maybe, maybe not.

Will Wilbur unofficially adopt Tommy without a say from Phil? Yes. Would Phil be even able to stop him? Are you high, no.

They all just vibe live in the same house and at some point Phil finds Tubbo in a box.

Boom!

They have way too many ppl living in this 2-3 person house that they bought from a sleazy real estate agent!

Wheres the real estate agent? Running to the hills somewhere bc they just sold a crappy house to two separate ppl while knowing a homeless child lived there.

And yea, this would happen before dsmp. Imagine the (crack) angst.

[tmmyrp]

@songbird-sunrise OH YEAH I CAN FLY UP TO IT NOW i dunno if youve noticed but im one of the ol' bird boys at the moument :) but yes look see WAYYYY better up here and i can go steal your shit so im not FUCKING COLD. wilbur are you cold all the time too cause i asked ranboo and he says hes cold but not like me cause i think my body temperature is too low for rabies now which sucks. i miss rabies.

[urfaveisavirgin]

your fave is a virgin! requests open 💪

BLOG RULES

run by mod nagito, mod mangle, mod azelle, mod tyki, mod mangobaii wilbur, mod mikan, mod deimos, mod rabies & mod monokuma

no characters under 18, no irl people

if the character acts like a virgin then they are a virgin. Doesn't matter if they aren't in their story. You cannot change if they are a virgin or not stop saying you can.

Terfs/exclusionists of any kind/Sysmeds/racists/Proshippers dni

we have the right to decline any request

the flag is pink and blue for the stereotypical gender roles we encourage here at urfaveisavirgin and yellow because i like the color yellow

[morri--frecklebwrry]

An: This fic doesn't have a name yet and it's not finished but I'm stopping wok on it until I come up with good ideas for this story so enjoy

Tommy had been on his way back home from his job at the Lego store when he found himself in a dark alleyway. He had followed some shrieking noises coming from the dark alley , and he found two scrawny cats. One with a golden pelt, and another , slightly bigger brown cat with him. Getting slowly closer, he noticed that the older of the cats had a leg injury. He had seriously debated in his head whether or not to take the felines with him. Are cats even allowed at my apartment? In the end he decided that he would rather take care of the two fluffy creatures and get kicked out , then leave them here where they would surely die. And now, as he sat on his couch, he thought it had been a ridiculous idea to take the cats. When he woke up the next morning, the cats were nowhere to be seen. Later, he found that he had (for some foolish reason) left his window open. A million thoughts raced through Tommy's head. Were the cats okay? Would they survive? The golden cat seemed like he desperately needed help. Tommy usually looked forward to his days off, but now it just felt like the whole day he would be going through worst case scenarios about what would happen to the two friends he had found. Maybe I can sleep this feeling off tommy thought. When the golden haired boy woke up, he opened his eyes to the sight of two- no three cats staring down at him. It was the two cats he had brought to his apartment last night, and it looked to Tommy that they had left to bring a friend. A slightly pink looking medium sized cat. "What the fuck?" Tommy whispered. The eyes of the three cats seemed to stare into his soul, if not right through him. " I thought you guys left me!" Tommy knew the cats probably couldn't understand him but part of him also felt it was necessary to explain what he had felt to the trio."I should really name you guys instead of calling you 'the cats' " tommy looked at each one of the cats and it wasn't long before he had come up with names that perfectly suited the cats. At least in Tommy's opinion."You're Phil," he pointed at the yellow cat "you're Wilbur," he pointed at the brown cat " and you're techno." He said pointing at the last cat.Techno blinked in response, Phil started to wash his paws, and Wilbur brushed his head against Tommy's leg."Awww you're so cute" tommy bent down to pat the brown cat's head. "As for you," tommy looked up to stare at the yellow cat "we're going to the vet." ****************************************************Without a carrier, it has been hard to transport philza to the veterinarian. Tommy had just wrapped the fluff ball in a blanket, during the wrapping, tommy had earned multiple scratches. The vet had told tommy that it was a minor injury but that he should make sure that Phil (the vet insisted on using philza's regular, unfun name) had everything he needed where it was accessible so he wouldn't need to jump while his leg was healing.****************************************************"Tubbo tubbo tubbo! I'm songlad you picked up I have something to tell you" tommy yelled into the phone's speaker"You didn't sell a kid another 'human anatomy' Lego set right?" Tubbo said"No no no. Im better than that now tubbo. I've learned from my mistakes. I found these two cats in an alley way and took them home and they escaped this morning but they came back with a friend!! :)""That's cool tommy , but are you sure they don't have rabies? Or other diseases ?""Yes tubbo I'm sure" nope I didnt check was waht tommy wanted to say but he was never going to get tubbo to come over and meet his cats if tubbo knew he wasn't sure they weren't desease ridden."You and ranboo just get over here quick. The cats are so cute d'you want to know what I named them??!" "Sure! " "Ok ok, so the yellow one's name is Phil or philza, I honestly think philza is better. And then the brown one is Wilbur and then pinkish one is techno."Tommy and tubbo talked about the cat for what seemed like hours and tubbo finally sounded excited to meet Tommy's cats.

[a-non-ymouswriter]

After seeing how c!Tommy just adopted a fucking spider having empathy for the "rarest" of pets... Headcanon in R meets Wishes, Theo is amazed that spiders are very small in their world, he finds them kinda cute. Imagine him stopping SBI from killing them.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He puts his hands over the small arachnid on the table. Techno has a paper towel in his hand. "Killing the spider?" "Oh, now you have something against spiders?" "Theo, it's just a spider." "Just a spider..." Theo repeats with disbelief. "How many- Actually, I don't even want to ask." He grabs the paper towel and grabs the spider very carefully. "Let's go put you outside, Henry."

He can kill big spider mobs, but why kill little ones that only want to survive? He also likes to watch moths fly around the small lamp on his desk. It's nothing out of the ordinary, until Theo stops them from killing a rat.

"It's a rat!" Wilbur is holding a broom while Techno and Tommy have the trash bags. "And it has done nothing to you." "It was eating from our trash can just a few minutes ago." Techno says. "And were you planning to eat that food? I didn't think so, Clara is just hungry." "You fucking name it already?" Tommy has a disgusted face. "That thing has rabies, man!"

They agree to lead it outside. And one day, Theo learns people can have snakes as pets...

"No." Phil says sitting next to him at the dinner table. "I could buy it myself." He continues with a small voice. "I would feed it and take care of it, you know?" "I know mate, but you have a lot of things over your shoulders already." Theo buries his face in his arms over the table and Phil pets his head gently. "I miss my pets." "What pets did you have?"

And Theo tells him about Henry, is nice!

_________________________

if there's a general headcanon that i love for tommy/theoinnit is that

1) tailor, absolutely great at sewing 2) likes flowers, flower boy but won't admit it 3) animals, enough said

shroud the spider has really just made my day when i found out about it all

theo being a disney princess?

theo being a disney princess

he learned from dream

[immortalcoelacanth]

Between the Walls, Chapter 2: Salutations and Explanations (Dream SMP fic)

... Although, I should probably tag this as more of a Sleepy Bois Inc thing given the content... Anyways, onto chapter 2!

Word count: 5356

Summary: At it was at this moment that Tommy knew, he fucked up. 

“Let me tell you one thing, you pig bitch-”

There was a tiny child in his walls.

“And I bet your mum ain’t all that-”

A tiny child who was yelling at him, insulting him.

“So, you better listen up! Motherfucker-”

Techno was almost impressed.

He wondered if the kid was aware of how absolutely not intimidating he sounded at the moment. His voice cracked and broke occasionally as he cursed, he was visibly trembling in what Techno assumed to be fear, and he looked like he was moments away from crying with those wide eyes and that terrified look on his face.

The kid reminded him of a cornered animal, terrified and lashing out to try and protect itself. He was doing the same thing, trying to scare the hybrid off with harsh words and false bravado.

Techno quietly thought about how young he must be. It was a good thing Phil was nowhere nearby since nothing would have saved both him and the kid from the ensuing lecture and interrogation period. Questions about where the kid was from, who he was, what he was doing here…

Questions he should probably be asking before the kid broke down crying. He had a feeling it would happen eventually when all that adrenaline wore off and the reality of the situation fully sunk in, so the currently shrinking window of opportunity was the best chance he had for finding out what he needed to know.

“And do you know what the fuck a breath mint is?”

… But first he had to shut this kid up.

“You got anything to say? Huh? Or are you just gonna-HEY!”

The tirade was cut off when, without warning, Techno reached out and pinched the back of his shirt, using that to lift him up in the air and out of the shelter that had been provided by the wall.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” The kid squawked as he struggled and squirmed in an attempt to escape Techno’s grip. The hybrid rolled his eyes as he continued looking the tiny being over, occasionally turning him so he could inspect the rest of him. The only thing of note he found was the belt the kid wore that had various tools hooked onto it.

Nothing that really posed a threat to him, but it was still good to take note of it.

“Trying to find the off button.”

“The-OFF BUTTON?! EXCUSE YOU, YOU BITCH-”

“Damn, doesn’t seem to be one.” He noted in that same, monotone voice. Of course, this ended up enraging the kid further, his shouts and curses growing louder.

His wild, frantic eyes growing wider.

Well, now was as good as time as any to start asking some questions before he ended up pushing the kid too far. He swore he could hear that tiny heart pounding away in the kid’s chest, and the hybrid realized it was entirely possible for the tiny being to pass out on him, or worse, have a heart attack from the stress.

Double time on that interrogation, then.

Techno changed his grip, wrapping his fingers around the kid and getting bit in the process-

This child was absolutely feral. He’d probably need a rabies shot by the end of the day.

Eventually, and with some careful maneuvering to make sure didn’t drop the struggling figure, Techno was able to place him down on the top of the small shelf located near the entrance of his house. It was right in front of a window, too, and he saw the way the kid’s eyes flickered between him and the possible escape route.

Nope.

Not a chance.

The hand placed between the kid and his freedom earned him a scowl and being flipped off once again, though he was quickly getting used to this brash and foolish behavior. In a way, it reminded Techno how he had acted when he was much younger. How cocky and overconfident he had been before the world brutally showed him where his place was.

Now, his confidence was backed by years worth of training. By the lives he had ended and the blood he had spilt.

It made him smile at the memories, oddly enough. Naturally, the kid immediately took his smiling to be about something far more sinister, and he started shouting once more.

“What the fuck do you got planned, huh? Got some creepy shit planned? You… you gonna need a bone saw or some crap like that for me-”

“Oh please, all I’d need is a decent nutcracker.” Techno scoffed, completely oblivious to the look of horror that passed over the kid’s face before it was quickly replaced by that false bravado.

“Can’t believe you’d threaten me like that-”

“Not what I was talking about!” The hybrid quickly interrupted, visibly shuddering and in turn making the kid let out a loud laugh.

Just how in the hell was something that small so loud anyways? Weren’t there rules about that sort of thing, mass being proportionate to how loud something could be. There was a reason why he had hated hanging out with kids when he was younger.

… Except for Wilbur, he had always been the exception.

Not wanting to take an agonizing trip down memory lane back to when his family had been whole and alive, Techno decided it was time to start asking the questions he wanted answers to, beginning with the most important one of course.

“And why are you in my house, anyways?”

“Your house?” The kid scoffed and crossed his arms. “It’s mine! I called dibs!”

“Heh?” Techno found himself at a genuine loss here as he tried to comprehend the logic behind that statement. “You can’t claim-I built this place.”

“Doesn’t mean you called dibs, bruv, and you did a shit job of buildin’ it, too. It could use more decorations that aren’t you! And music!”

The hybrid let out a frustrated groan while dragging a hand over his face. Why had one of the most annoying, obnoxious, and loud people he had ever met decide that his base was the perfect place to invade. Why had this kid picked him instead of somewhere else, like L’Manberg.

… Actually, that was another good question to ask-

“So, when are you gonna clean up this pigsty?” The kid asked, completely derailing Techno’s train of thought.

“I fear for your brain cells if all you can come up with are pig jokes and saying fuck over and over again.”

“... Fuck you-”

“And my concerns are proven to be valid.”

“My brain works perfectly fine! It’s just yours isn’t big enough to get it!” He snapped back.

“Suuuuure, pipsqueak, whatever you say.” Techno sarcastically drawled. It seemed as though either the aloof expression on his face or the nickname he had granted the boy only enraged him further, as he watched the kid start stomping the ground as he continued shouting.

He was witnessing a literal tantrum.

“I’m not a pipsqueak! You’re the one who's freakishly tall!”

“Like I couldn’t tell with you calling me big man every five seconds, and I’ll just keep calling you that since you seem to like it so much.”

“Then just call me Tommy! It’s not that hard!” The now named Tommy exclaimed, and it was only when a smile appeared on Techno’s face that he realized he might have messed up.

“Uh… I mean-”

“So, that’s your name.” Techno interrupted, grin growing as he leaned forward and rested his chin on a closed fist. He was enjoying messing with this kid. It was almost as fun as terrorizing Quackity. “Got any other important info you wanna share? Credit card number?”

“No! No, no way!” Tommy let out a nervous giggle and took a step back. “C’mon, man, let’s see some manners! I told you my name, so you should tell me yours-”

“Technoblade.”

“... What?”

“Or Techno for short.” The hybrid continued, not caring about the stunned and confused look on the kid’s face. He was used to people looking at him weird, especially when they heard his name. “No pig-pun name here.”

“... You were so close to having a cool name.” Tommy bluntly said. “You’ve got half a cool name. Now Blade, that’s intimidating! Big man Blade-”

“Never call me that.”

“Alright TechnoBitch-”

“Your insults are getting worse by the second, I fear you’re undergoing cellular brain death.”

“Are you making up fancy words to sound all smart now? Cellular?” Tommy scowled. “What’s next? You gonna start talking about other made up stuff, like leprechauns, or dolphins?”

“... Dolphins are real-”

“That’s just what the dolphin believers want you to think! The… the dolphevers!”

Techno threw his head and started laughing, the noise surprisingly loud. It made Tommy jump as he winced at the volume. Discomfort ran through him, and he started to slowly realize how dangerous the situation he was in might be.

He had always been warned to stay away from humans, and while this guy didn’t look all that human, he was sure the same warning applied. He could be trapped, hurt, tormented…

Why, why had he decided to stick around instead of just running off, or trying to barter for his freedom? He had always lived his life on the edge, flirting with danger instead of women. The thrills and excitement of interacting with a human could have driven him to do this.

Or perhaps it was that quiet voice within him that begged him to interact with Techno, to reach out and be social and finally interact with someone after all the days he spent alone.

A voice that kept insisting that things would be alright, that he would be okay.

A voice that could result in his demise if he listened to it.

He would never see Tubbo again...

His mind made up, Tommy slowly backed away from the hybrid, one hand raised while the other behind his back towards the belt that Techno had noticed earlier. “Well, this has been fun and all but I’ve got to head out and you’ve got some cleaning to do, roomie.”  

Techno’s eyes narrowed as his bout of laughter finished, aware that he had something planned that would probably cause some problems, but before he could act on his suspicions, Tommy made his move.

And chucked a fist full of sand in the pigman’s face.

Immediately, Techno let out a shout and recoiled, lifting his hands up to his eyes in an attempt to scrub the gritty substance out of them. Tommy took his chance and pulled out his grappling hook, attached it to the side of the shelf, and quickly slid down the rope. In his haste, as well as the movements caused by the hybrid’s thrashing, the grappling hook came loose, and he dropped the rest of the way to the floor.

Tommy landed, cringing as agony raced up his legs, and did his best to ignore it as he shot off towards the space under the shelf, knowing he would be hidden from sight and have a better chance at escaping.

He had to escape since he doubted his captor would be that nice to him again.

Meanwhile, Techno was currently battling every urge he felt to lash out and kill the kid. His mind and soul screamed for blood, for death and revenge for the humiliation and pain he had been put through. It took all of his willpower to stop himself from grabbing his trident and slamming it into the floor in an attempt to find, and kill, Tommy.

The main source of his restraint came from a voice that sounded a bit too much like Phil’s calmly whispering that there were other ways to do things, that he did not have to resort to violence.

This was then converted to make him pay, but not with death. Death is a release, not a punishment.  

His eyes burned.

He let out a pained hiss and blindly reached towards the nearby brewing station, managing to get the bottle of water he had placed in it for potion brewing. He uncorked the top, looked up to the ceiling, cracked his eyes open, and quickly flushed them out to get rid of the sand.

All in all, only a couple seconds had passed since the sand had been thrown and Tommy had escaped. He could not have gotten far, but the more time the hybrid wasted sitting here, the further the kid would get.

Techno tossed the bottle to the side and quickly crouched down, still aching eyes scanning the wall as he tried to figure out where Tommy had gone. He spotted a flash of blond ducking behind part of the wooden shelf, and he quickly moved the wooden panel that covered the bottom part of the shelf. It was like a box of sorts and that could be used as storage space, but he had never put anything there and just left it closed.

So, naturally he had not at all been expecting to lift the panel up and find a tiny hole in the wooden floor, the perfect size for Tommy to fit through. His mind ground to a halt as he processed what he was seeing.

THERE WAS A HOLE UNDER THE SHELF?!

WHEN HAD THIS HAPPENED?!

Okay, okay, now was not the time to get caught up on. The kid was under the floorboards, possibly heading towards the basement. He rushed over to the ladder, slid down it, and jumped onto the stone flooring. He looked up at the ceiling, not seeing any obvious sign as to where the kid must have gone and decided that using another one of his senses might pay off.

Techno shut his eyes, ears twitching, and listened carefully. Listened for that one, signature noise that would tell him where Tommy was.

The sound of someone running over wood.

There!

On instinct, he swung the axe towards the sound, the blade chopping into the ceiling and exposing the hidden passage that had been carved into, and the boy who had been sprinting through it.

Now, this was where things took a bit of an interesting turn.

You see, despite the fact that Tommy had spent his life in a borrower settlement, he was quite experienced in building structures and had frequently challenged Tubbo to speed bridging contests. The adults always hated whenever he did that, claiming that the flimsy structures would alert humans to their hidden home, but Tommy had always ignored them and kept building.

… Until they resorted to hitting him. Then he stopped, but the skills he had developed over the years stayed with him, so the second he started falling he also started building. He had managed to place a couple blocks down as he fell and grabbed onto the little outcropping he had made. He was vaguely aware of Techno moving below him but was far more focused on trying to pull himself back up into the remains of his tunnel.

Can’t fall, gotta stay up! Have to run!

Unfortunately, his hand slipped off the planks, splinters sinking into his skin as he started to fall. Falling, and-

Landing on the top of Techno’s head. Surrounded by the crown the hybrid always wore and with no escape in sight, he decided to cling to the strangely soft, pink hair below him. It smelled… weirdly nice. There was a hint of a herbal scent he could not place, but it didn’t smell super flowery or anything like that.

“You’re pretty fruity, aren’t you big man?” Tommy impulsively asked, and he felt Techno freeze below him as the hybrid realized what the sudden, impossibly light weight belonged to. Seeing an opportunity to get another jab in, he immediately went for it with little regard to how precarious the situation was. “Lookin’ all… all flamboyant with your fancy dye!”

“I doubt you know what that word means, and it’s not dye.” Techno dryly retorted, tilting his head upwards so he could try and glare at the kid.

Seeing that nothing bad had happened, the hybrid had not tried to crush him, nor had he been grabbed and flung towards the nearest wall, Tommy decided to take a risk and started speaking once more.

“.... Hehe, guess things are fine then, big man-” He nervously laughed before he was cut off by Techno picking him up once again. The kid immediately started thrashing, squirming, and cursing as he tried to break free.

The hybrid rolled his eyes at the unnecessary dramatics and made his way over to the collections of chests on the other side of the room. A quick search resulted in him easily finding the item he was looking for.

A bottle.

He caught a glimpse of Tommy glancing between him and the bottle, his face shifting between pure rage and fear, but before he could object to what Techno was planning on doing, the cork in the bottle was removed and Tommy found himself being trapped inside.

“LEMME OUT YOU PRICK!” He shouted as he slammed his fists into the glass wall, wincing as his hands started aching.

Techno just chuckled and put the cork back in, preventing the kid from escaping and making it much harder to hear his shouting. A blessing in disguise, really. “Think of this as karma for the sand from earlier.”

Seeing no way to get out, Tommy flipped the hybrid off and slowly slid down the side of the bottle until he was resting on the ground. His arms crossed, knees were tucked to his chest, and he looked down so his face was hidden from sight. At least his silent moping made it easier for Techno to think.

What to do next…

He had the kid who had been borrowing through his house like some oversized termite, and he knew the kid’s name. There was still so much information he was missing that he wanted to know. What the kid was, if there were any more of him nearby-

An infestation was the last thing he needed.

… Perhaps the librarian back in the village would know something about this tiny kid. He knew that the somewhat eccentric villager had a large collection of books about all sorts of topics, so there was a chance he might have some kind of information he could dig up.

It was worth a shot.

He mentally debated on whether it would be worth it to bring Tommy with him, and ultimately decided he would in case he needed to show him off to the librarian, or one of the other villagers who might know about him. Without bothering to warn the kid, he quickly scooped the bottle up and fastened it to his belt.

He faintly heard the sounds of someone shouting and cursing, and decided to ignore it as he left the house. Techno hummed to himself as he made his way over to the nearby village, not bothering to waste any ender pearls since he still lacked a consistent source of them. No villagers were able to trade them, so his only option was relentlessly hunting down Endermen until a pearl was dropped.

Annoying, but necessary for now.

Speaking of annoying, he spared a glance down at the bottle on his hip that contained the furious Tommy, taking note of how the kid was smacking the glass walls and trying to find a way out. The red hue that had taken over his face also made it clear that he was still screaming.

He let out an exasperated sigh and picked the bottle up off his belt, lifting it up so it would be easier to talk to the kid. Now that he was up close, the hybrid could easily see the look of frustration on the kid’s face, as well as how red his eyes were.

It looked like Tommy had been crying.

“Calm down. I’m not gonna kill you.” Techno grumbled. “And stop screaming before you lose your voice.”

“You’re a bitch!” Tommy spat, not at all paying attention to what he was saying. “Fuckin’ dragging me out to who knows where, planning on doing who knows what-”

“I’m not going to sell you.” The hybrid interrupted, lifting a brow as he watched pure shock cross Tommy’s face. “... You really thought I was gonna sell you-”

“Well yeah!” Tommy sputtered as he flailed his arms. “The fuck else would you be doing?!”

“Interrogating people.”

“The fuck-”

Those were the only words Tommy was able to get out as the bottle was clipped back onto Techno’s belt. He shifted his arms a bit so his cape hid more of his body, and in turn the bottle, from sight. When that was finished, he strode into the village.

Children ran to and fro, some pausing to wave at him or whisper among themselves. He ignored them, as he always did, and continued on towards his destination. He also steered clear of any of the villagers he normally traded with, not wanting to get caught up in some unwanted conversation. He kept walking, picking up the pace whenever he heard someone get a bit too close to him until he reached the library.

It was far from your traditional library, much more of a home with a massive collection of books available for people to read. Techno didn’t bother to knock on the door, opting to instead open it and walk inside. A somewhat large, sparsely decorated room with simple shelves greeted him.

A moment later, the sound of rustling in one of the small side rooms filled the air and the familiar face of the local librarian popped out of it. He resembled your typical villager, though the spark of curiosity made his eyes glint and shine. He was obviously curious as to why Techno had shown up, but before he could ask the hybrid spoke.

“So, what do you know about tiny people?”

“I’m afraid you’ll need to be a bit more specific than that.” The librarian cheerfully replied, not at all phased by the seemingly random question. “Are there any particular features you can describe? Do you have an example?”

Immediately, Techno’s hand moved to his side, ready to grab the bottle and use Tommy as his example. However, just as he was about to snag the bottle-

He froze.

Dread coiled in his heart, an uncomfortable sensation that he had not felt for many years. He grit his teeth as he struggled to sort out exactly what he was feeling, what his instincts were trying to tell him.

Tommy’s wide eyes, tears still lingering in the corners-

Was… was this guilt?

There was no way he was feeling guilt! It couldn’t be. He had felt no guilt when threatening the kid earlier, didn’t really care all that much about him. So, why did the thought of showing him to someone feel…

Wrong.

He was unable to come up with an answer, feeling frustrated with himself. It was a stupid emotion, a weakness, but at the same time his instincts, those same feelings, had gotten him out of dangerous situations in the past. He’d be an idiot if he didn’t keep listening.

So, he dropped his hand and opted to explain instead. “Short, couple inches tall. Uses tools like grappling hooks to get around. Lives-”

“In houses?” The librarian finished, that sparkle in his eyes growing brighter. Looking a bit thrown off, Techno nodded.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“You have perfectly described a borrower!”

“... A borrower?”

“Yes! Humanoid beings who are only a few inches tall! Generally, they tend to live in already inhabited homes, or with other borrowers in hidden settlements! They’re signs of good fortune.” The librarian explained as he scanned the shelves, looking for a specific book. “It is said that there is a powerful connection between borrowers and humans, their companionship offers a kind of peace and feeling of completion that we cannot hope to feel on our own-”

“I’m assuming that doesn’t apply to hybrids as well.” Techno interrupted, brow raised in a combination of curiosity and disbelief.

Borrowers… so that’s what Tommy was. And the kid had chosen to live with him? Why? And what had he been doing in a frozen wasteland before that? Was there one of those settlements nearby, or was there some other factor that had driven the borrower into staying with him.

So many questions, and so few answers.

To his surprise, the librarian quickly shook his head. “Your assumption is incorrect, Blood God. On the contrary, borrowers and hybrids have been known to share settlements in the past, working together and helping one another out-aha!”

A book was pulled out of the shelves, cover worn and title nearly illegible. After the book was given a quick once over, it was presented to Techno. He immediately took it, held it up in the dim lighting, and read the title aloud.

“A Historical Investigation into Borrower Society…?”

“Indeed! That should be a good starting point for your research on borrowers, and I can search for other texts if you wish to read them.”

“... That would be helpful, thanks.” Techno nodded while adding the book to his bag. He then pulled a couple emeralds out of it and looked at the librarian. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing at all! It warms my heart to see someone else taking an interest in borrowers,” The librarian exclaimed while clapping his hands. “And for my library to be blessed with the presence of one.”

Ah, Tommy.

He must have either spotted the bottle the borrower was in, or one of the other villagers must have and then passed the information along to him. Either way, the hybrid felt…

Annoyed.

His eyes narrowed and he unconsciously shifted so the side of his body the Tommy was on was further away from the librarian. He also flared his cape out, so the borrower was completely hidden from sight.

He was unaware of how Tommy had pressed himself against the side of the bottle upon realizing he had been seen. Unaware of how the borrower had tried to take shelter in his presence despite the rough start to their meeting.

Unaware of the wide, confused eyes that stared up at him, trying to comprehend that his captor was protecting him.

The librarian, seeing the change in Techno’s mood, quickly backed up and lifted up his hands. “Fret not, Blood God, I would do no harm to your charge.”

… Charge?

Before he could question what the librarian meant, the robbed man quickly ducked into some side room and started rummaging around in it.

“The next time you visit, I shall have something to give you! I promise!”

Had… had he just been given the signal to leave? Techno stood around awkwardly for a couple more moments as he waited to see whether the librarian would make another appearance. When he did not, the hybrid decided it was time to go.

Social interactions had always been a critical weakness of his. For how intimidating and threatening he could be, that mask would dissolve in an instant if he started floundering while talking to someone.

Wilbur had always teased him about it…

The walk back to his house was, thankfully, silent and allowed him the perfect opportunity to think about what he had learned in the village. Tommy was a borrower, a tiny being that lived in houses and stole for a living. He had no real magic or other noteworthy skills, aside from the advantages brought to him by size. He could be sneaky.

However, he still had to think about what to do with the borrower. Let him stay, or kick him out.

Soon enough, the hybrid found himself making his way up the stairs to the front of his house, letting out a relieved sigh once the door shut behind him. His shoulders loosened, the tension he had been carrying since he first entered the village fading in an instant.

He hated talking to people, so much.

Techno glanced at the nearby table and then looked down at the bottle on his hip. He promptly lifted it up, met Tommy’s eyes, and spoke.

“If I let you out and you don’t behave, I’m gonna fill the bottle with water and stick you back in it. Got it?”

Tommy shuddered and quickly nodded.

Stupid, he was so stupid for getting himself into this situation, and now he had no idea what Techno was going to do with him! Of course, he could always try to escape again, but he doubted he would get far, and if he got caught…

Nope. He was just going to sit, wait, and try to be as quiet as possible.

Upon seeing that Tommy was listening and actually keeping his mouth shut, Techno uncorked the bottle and tilted it towards the table so the borrower could easily slide out. Once he was settled on the table, the hybrid walked over to the other side of the room and started thinking.

Thinking about what his options were and what he should do.

Was it worth it to keep Tommy around? To have to deal with an annoying presence constantly in the place he had created as his retirement home. Would the aggravation be worth it? What would he get out of it, anyways?

They’re signs of good fortune.

Borrowers and hybrids have been known to share settlements in the past, working together and helping one another.

…That librarian had a point.

It would be useful to him to keep Tommy around, or kill him, even if the kid didn’t give him any good luck. He definitely couldn’t let the borrower leave, lest someone from L’Manberg snag him and get him to spill everything he knew about Techno, and if he kept the borrower around there was always the potential to use him in the future.

To have a tiny spy on his side could be quite the valuable tactical advantage, especially for when L’Manberg came after him.

He doubted Quackity would stay down for long.

So, with a plan properly in mind, he directed his attention back towards the borrower who was, thankfully, still sitting on the table. It looked like the kid had been zoning out until he heard the sounds of Techno’s approaching footsteps. He got back to his feet and glared at the man staring down at him.

Was… was he trying to be intimidating?

Techno let out an amused snort, ignoring the resulting remark about him really being a pig, and started explaining his deal.

“Alright, tiny-”

“TOMMY!”

“ Tiny.” Techno insisted, and to his surprise Tommy actually shut up.

It was probably due to the fact that he wasn’t really in any kind of position to argue or make demands. His life was on the line and he knew. All he could was hope the human would show him some mercy and not chuck him out into the freezing cold.

Whatever it was, it worked in Techno’s favour.

“So, here’s the plan. I’ll let you stay here, give you food and shelter, but you have to give me something in exchange.”

The deal was simple, with the benefits to Tommy being obvious. Something that he hoped would distract the kid and prevent him from questioning what Techno got out of their agreement.

Or what he would get, that is.

“What the fuck do you mean, big man?! Give you something in exchange?! I don’t have anything to exchange!”

“Well, since you said you don’t have anything to exchange,” The hybrid began, taking another step forward so he was closer to the table, already witnessing the real purpose behind his plan coming to fruition.

Tommy paled and took a step back as Techno loomed above him, shadow engulfing his tiny frame as that scheming smile crossed his face. Okay, it was clearly an awful decision to agree to his idea. Abort, abort-

“You’ll just have to work for it, then.”

                                         xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Techno's character arc for this fic is literally him going from exploiting one orphan to two XD

[winterwolf0120]

Chapter 1: When me, Leon, N and the Kings Island Palace gang (Freddy, Loona, V, Uzi, CatNap, Jill, Chris, Claire, Octavia, and Wilbur) went back to the hotel in Washington DC, Virginia. We went inside. We took the elevator and we went back to our rooms. While the crew are chilling out after the fun that we had while were at Kings Dominion. We got ourselves cleaned up in the shower so we can get some rest.

But then Chris and Claire head downstairs and they went outside for a little bit, to get fresh air. While they're outside, Chris look down and he spotted a rat. He picked it up by the tail and, he started to pull a prank on me, Leon, and N.

Chris: *snort laughing* Claire, sis I'm gonna scare the shit out of Jada, Leon, and N.

Claire: What!? Chris. No, they hate rats. They're disgusting, those things might have rabies.

Chris: Oh come on, Claire. It'll be pretty funny.

Claire: Bro, you can't bring a rat into the hotel it will scared everybody!🤦‍♀️

Chris: Watch me.

Chris went inside in the hotel and Claire is recording this. This is not Claire's idea, it was Chris' idea for making this prank up. When they went inside the room, and he just go right up for it to scare me, Leon, and N.

Chris: Hey Leon, Jada, N look what I got you guys.

Leon, Jada, and N: What.

Chris: I got you guys. This! *showing a rat to Jada, Leon, and N*

Jada, Leon, and N: 0_0

Jada, Leon, and N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!😱😱😱

Chris started chasing me, Leon, and N around with the rat that he had on his hands, I picked up my backpack. And, me, Leon, and N ran outside of the hotel, and we ran off.

We keep on running, running, and running as far as we can. But we slow down running and we're trying to catch our breath. But when me, Leon, and N stop running we looked around the city of Washington DC, and we don't know where the hotel where the crew is. So me, Leon, and N got lost T^T.

Leon: *panting* Oh my god, holy shit. Did we lose that rat that Chris was carrying.

Jada: Yeah, I think we lost him.

N: Oh...My...God. 0^0 WHAT THE HELL DID CHRIS DO THAT SHIT FOR!!!!

Jada: I don't know, N. I have no clue.

Leon: Uh, guys I really hate to say this, but how the fuck are we suppose to head back to the hotel.

Jada: Wait a minute. I don't have a map or anything!

N: What?! Oh come on!!!😫

Jada: Great now what're we gonna do T^T

Leon: ...

Jada: ...

N: ...

Leon: Hey guys since were lost and stuff we'll stick together no matter what. Because I'll protect you guys and you guys protect me from danger.

Jada: Yeah, Leon has a point.

N: I guess your right, Leon. We're gonna stick together no matter what. And, Leon you and Jada are more than like my brothers and sisters to me. 😇💛

Leon: 😊💙

Jada: 😊🩵

Jada: Aww, N. ^V^

Leon: We feel the same way as well. You're more than like a little brother to us. ^V^

Leon and Jada: *hugging N*

Jada: I guess we should, get going.

Leon: Yeah, I guess we should just wandered around the city for now.

But the three of us ( me, Leon, and N) have to stick together for now on and we'll protect each other, so we started walking and wandering around in the city for a minute.

[incorrect-life-of-me]

things said but dsmp characters:

tubbo: tiramisu. like that big boat that crashed into the iceburg.

philza: can you google the suicide rates of chickens

eret: i have all my baes on snap. all 17 of them 

tommy: ow fuDGEEEE wilbur: you can say fuck  tommy: oh. FUCK.

ranboo: you its that hour of mental illness when your making chocolate milk

dream, after being in prison: i look pale as a motherfucker-

technoblade: i dont want philza minecraft as a pet 

niki: im not good at math i like women 

quackity: dont make me spit out my wine thats alcohol abuse

fundy, pointing to the cat maid cafe: kurger bing

wilbur at the start of the smp: what are you dong, trying to convert the hamilton fan out of me?

schlatt: your like tommyinnit. most people find you annoying

karl: having rabies is kinda gay

sapnap: people eat ass and it shows

ponk: gender? not in the economy