#and the skim seems s tier

[system-of-a-feather]

Only skimmed cause Im busy atm but I also want to say as a system who DOES have a lot of parts that appear pretty distinctly, this is basically what weve historically done a lot as well ESPECIALLY for fragments and subsystems so I do want to also just boost it to say its a helpful resource for those that do have that distinction cause this shit can be a bitch fr fr

Finding Your Identities: Figuring Out Your Alters When Your Alters Aren't "Distinct" "People"

I have been wanting to make this post for a very long time now.

I have talked countless times on this blog about how a lot of the "how to figure out your alters" lists do not and cannot apply to me, or systems who may be like me, for a variety of reasons.

We do not have distinct senses of selves, we don't feel like our own distinct individuals, in any way whatsoever. There is no specific, unique, distinct "cue" or feeling or anything that tells me I've switched, or tells me that a specific, distinct alter is fronting who is different from any other alters. There is no specific, distinct THING that tells me "okay yeah that was very obviously and specifically and undeniably a different alter."

It's easy to deny you have alters when your alters are not distinct individuals who know they are their own unique, separate selves. It's easy to deny you have alters when it always feels like "you."

If you don't experience your alters as distinct 'entities' where you can obviously and distinctly refer to them as "that is (that specific alter) and that is not (these other alters)", it can be nearly impossible to figure out your alters at all.

This has been a horrible aspect of my denial since essentially the beginning. I mean, when everything online tells you that DID involves a distinct sense of "not me" to it, how can you know if you have it if it doesn't feel that way to you?

Now obviously I DO have that feeling of "not me"... It's just not described using those specific words. I was taking it all way too literally (thanks, autism NFKDSFDKJ).

It's more like "I don't really feel that way anymore" or "yeah I felt that way, but not anymore."

Or "I don't really relate to that anymore" or "I don't really like this as my identity anymore" or "I don't like this name anymore."

Or "this feels like someone else's life" (but more of a feeling, it's not like I just suddenly don't know anything in my life anymore. I know my girlfriend and love her still and I know I live in this house, etc.)

I'll feel like I am attending therapy because I have to, or I'll feel like I'm relaying information that I know factually, as if I was told a story of things that happened and I have to relay that information to someone else.

Or just generally a weird feeling that something is off.

And that's the thing - dissociation (for me personally) is less like "things aren't real" and "I'm not real" and more like just a vague feeling that something is OFF, and you don't know what, and you can't explain it.

I remember as a kid feeling like I'm the "only conscious being" or "feeling like I'm in an anime" or "acting out a dramatic scene in a movie." Now all three of those descriptions still fall under "feeling like things aren't real/etc." but I never interpreted it that way, because of how literally I take things, I didn't make the connection, because I never used the SPECIFIC wording of "feeling like I'm not real/feeling like the world isn't real/etc."

I straight-up told one of the first therapists I saw for a DID diagnosis that I "don't really dissociate at all" because I don't really experience the "nothing is real/I'm not real/etc."

This, too, brought me a lot of denial, because people only describe dissociation as "things don't feel real", "you don't feel real", "you feel like you're floating", "you're watching yourself", "you're watching the world through fog/glass", etc. And because I never really used those specific words to explain my feelings and experiences, I figured I wasn't really experiencing any dissociation, or at least just very rarely and mildly so.

That's a key thing here - the WORD CHOICES being used to describe alters, systems, CDD experiences, etc. don't really match up with my experiences at all. I take things extremely, extremely literally, and when everybody describes their alters and refers to them as distinct, different people, it's hard to feel like your experiences are the more common experience, especially when people around you might continue to reinforce that denial, by assuming you must not have alters, or you have a different disorder, etc., because you are "always awake and present no matter what alter is fronting", etc.

Your personal interpretation of your experiences matters a LOT when it comes to CDDs, figuring out if you have a CDD, and it also plays a large role into how your system might present/feel/look/what alters you have/etc.

For example, many people interpreted their alter experiences and switches as creating characters. That, then, might become a huge aspect of figuring out your alters - you might realize that many of the characters you've made (or all of them) through the years were actually alters. With that lens, you might, then, be able to have a lot of knowledge about your alters based off of that alone - those "characters" might have specific characteristics, lore, designs, etc. that you then realize were all a part of that alter.

You might also, then, find that each time you find yourself making a "new" "character", it's actually just a new alter forming/splitting (or perhaps them just finding out their own identity).

The way you personally interpret your experiences, your feelings, your life, memories, etc. all impact your alters and your system - the way your alters identify, the way it FEELS when alters front, the way your system presents, etc.

I grew up believing I was making things up and lying for seemingly no reason, for attention, because I liked being cool and special. Or that I was purposely acting out a fake, dramatic movie, just to add more drama.

In reality, I was experiencing alter switches and dissociation, but because I interpreted it in those ways, we now have a very difficult time trying to accept and believe that these are real feelings, real experiences, outside of my control, instead of me just saying things for attention and acting dramatic just because.

I also very much grew up feeling like "nothing ever sticks, so why bother taking anything seriously." Now, pretty much all of us still have this attitude, this feeling of "why bother coming up with a name, why bother taking (my feelings, etc.) seriously when it's just gonna go away and not come back."

I would feel confident in a decision or an identity or a name change and so on, only for me to change it the next day, or the next week, and so on.

This made things like questioning my gender identity and wanting to change my name extremely difficult and impossible because I could never be sure if it was going to actually STICK or just be a temporary, fleeting "phase." I became upset (and still become upset and distressed) every time everything turned out to just be a "phase" instead of a real, actual thing. I still have trouble with this. If I want to cut my hair or dye my hair or get new clothes, I will never be able to know for sure if I'll still like it in a different state. If I want a name change, I don't know if it'll be long-term or if I will change my mind the next day.

DID is more like this, and less like "I'm a totally different person with a distinctly different personality and a different name and I am not ("host")."

And if this is relatable to you, this post may very much help you figure out who your alters are.

A lot of things online that try to give suggestions and ideas for figuring out your alters in a way of "ask (your alters) these questions."

For me, I can't really do that, for a variety of different reasons - our dissociative barriers are too high, there's no inner world, and there's no kind of "distinct voices" that I "hear" speaking to me that are coming from a distinctly different "person." And since we as alters do not experience ourselves as distinct individuals where we just know who we are and know we are our own distinct individuals, it's less like asking my alters these questions, and more like asking MYSELF these questions. I want you keep that in mind going into this post.

When it comes to figuring out alters, what helps me is trying to keep track of patterns of changes in my behaviors, likes, dislikes, hobbies/interests, and more.

The following is a TEMPLATE of things you can ask yourself at different times, during different moods, modes, self-states - whatever you wanna call it.

I tried to make them as general as possible in order to hopefully make the questions apply to a general audience/a wide variety of people, instead of being too specific where they might not apply to most people.

You do not have to ask yourself all of these questions! If you don't know the answer to a question, and/or you don't want to answer a question, it can be important to write that down too! You can skip any questions or change them in any way you like.

If a question feels unhelpful to you, feel free to change it into something that might feel more helpful to you personally, and/or just remove it altogether.

Feel free to expand upon these questions! For example, if a question seems helpful to you, you might have further ideas to expand upon that question into further, more specific questions. I actually totally encourage other people to expand upon these questions and come up with more questions that could help others! Definitely share your thoughts in reblogs if you want.

I want to make it clear, first, that this post is NOT trying to make people OBSESS over this!!!! These questions are meant to help figure out alters, but don't obsess over it!

The purpose of these questions is to simply try and keep track of possible patterns of behaviors, etc., not to obsess over figuring out your alters, not to obsess over figuring out what alter you are, not to obsess over making sure your alters are "consistent all the time" or something. It doesn't matter about knowing "who" you are so much as it matters to let yourself exist as you are, at any given moment. It's to allow yourself to exist and see if there is a pattern of emotions, opinions, preferences, likes, dislikes, interests/hobbies, behaviors, and more that crop of every so often - this is what alters are for a lot of people. Like I said, it's less like "distinct, separate person" and more like a recurring pattern of the same/similar emotions/behaviors/traits/etc. that crop up every so often, oftentimes in response to things, such as topics that you may find triggering (for example: feeling like an angry wolf every time the topic of physical abuse comes up, or feeling like a scared child when you feel like someone said something upsetting), or even positive topics, such as feeling like you become a girl whenever the topic of fashion gets brought up, or feeling like you're 13 when the topic of a childhood beloved TV show comes up.

While "feeling like (xyz) in response to (xyz)" does not necessarily mean you have a CDD, this post is specifically about those experiences under the context of having a CDD. If you relate to anything I wrote in this post, it does not necessarily mean you have a CDD! Similarly, if you DON'T relate to anything in this post, it also doesn't mean you DON'T have a CDD! I am sharing this post with the assumption that the people reading it already know they have a CDD, and/or strongly suspect it.

Questions to ask myself for figuring out alters:

Month day, year. Time (or whatever way you want to write down the month/day/year/time).

What name(s) do I like?:

This doesn't have to be names of specific alters (by that I mean, you don't have to go through your list of alters with specific names to figure out if you like one of them). You can write a vague idea of what name/names you might like (such as "a name related to plants" or "a name that reminds me of the ocean"). You can write down multiple names. You can write down no name. You can write down that you're indifferent. Anything!

What pronouns do I like?:

Again, you can write down anything. If multiple sets of pronouns vibe, write that down! If nothing vibes, write it down! If you don't have any strong feelings/if you're indifferent, write that down too! If you don't know, write that down!

Are there any particular labels I feel drawn to/feel I identify with?:

It can be an LGBTQ+ label (bisexual, demiboy, aromantic, lesbian, etc.), or a label related to something else

What kind of color(s) am I drawn to?:

Darker colors? Pastel colors? Neon colors? Light colors? Etc.

What do I want to do? What would I do if I had the resources (time, money, 'skill', motivation, energy, etc.) (for example, maybe you wish you could play guitar, but you can’t play guitar, don’t have a guitar, etc.)?:

Similarly, is there anything that I might normally be interested in that I find myself no longer wanting to do?:

-- Listening to music: What songs? Am I singing along? What are the songs about? How do I feel about the music? Are there any songs I dislike? Any particular common genre/theme with the music I find myself liking right now?

-- Art: - What kind of art (Digital art? Doing makeup? Sculpting? Knitting? Painting? Woodworking? Photography? Any art counts.) - What is my art style like/what tools am I using? (If digital art, what program am I using? What brushes am I using? Etc. (Different alters might prefer to use different art programs and different art brushes!)) - What does the artwork depict? (Vent art? Are there themes of trauma? Dissociation? Fanart? Something else?)

-- Playing a game: - What game? - What am I doing in the game? Are there different game modes? If so, what mode am I playing? Is my character customizable, and if so, how does my character look? (Some alters might prefer to change the way the character looks to match how they might feel inside!) - Are there any games I don't currently care for?

-- Watching YouTube: - What is the topic of the video? (Is it about a hobby I like? A TV series? A video essay? Something else?)

-- Playing an instrument: - What instrument? - Am I trying to learn a specific song/songs? - Am I making my own music? Are there lyrics to go along with it? - If it’s a specific song (either writing your own, or trying to learn how to play a certain song on an instrument), what is it about? Any specific themes that stick out?

-- Writing: Poetry? Working on a book/short story? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Reading: What am I reading? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Something else…

What am I thinking about?

What am I talking about?

How am I feeling?

Did something trigger me to feel this certain way?

If something triggered me to feel a certain way, do I know the reason(s) why? (For example, if you encountered something that brings up trauma-related feelings, etc.)

You might describe your feelings in ways other than a simple “sad”, “mad”, or “happy.” You might be more specific, such as “I feel like white noise” or “I feel like a dog” or “I feel like an ocean.” This is completely valid and an important thing to keep note of as well. You can even write down that you feel tall, or you feel a different age, or you feel like a certain character.

There are many more questions that you could ask 'yourself' to get to know 'yourselves.' This list is not exhaustive, and like I said, you can simply you this template to bounce off ideas of what questions you, personally, would find most helpful!

I'd love to hear anybody's input, and I hope this post helps anyone. :] If not, feel free to share around anyway, if you want!

[bladekindeyewear]

Hello, what do you think of optimisticDuelist's Role-playing theory? Basically, he suggested that instead of inverting, Rose was role-playing a misinterpretation of her mother's classpect. He also suggests Terezi was role-playing Redglare's Knight class while investigating Murderstuck, and that Vriska and Aranea were role-playing each other's classes. I recommend watching "HSE: Guardians and Ancestors" for more about his theory. :D

Since I'm trying to get back in the swing of things (might still take me a few weeks), I might as well remind y'all of my earlier position:

I haven't read or watched optimisticDuelist's theories yet, and I probably ought to before I make any serious judgments on the matter. Plus, I'm not caught up with HS^2's recent new updates, and I was under the impression that oD had some input into HS^2 as a whole-- I'm not sure if Andrew gave the writers and collaborators on that project the latitude to make some changes from the system that was intended by Andrew in the original comic's run, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had, so for all we know some of those theories may retroactively fit the original comic even if they weren't initially intended! Or introduced as just a NEW thing that can happen! That's one sort of thing that I was originally so devoted to the comic's "original intent" that I wouldn't have accepted easily, but I'm coming to accept as a possibility a bit easier now, with how much Andrew has pushed Death of the Author and how much the ending of the comic showed that many of the things I judged were "important" in-comic weren't important to him at all.

However, if we're looking as far back as Act 5 Act 2, I believe there's a serious fundamental difference in scope and scale between trolls like Vriska and Terezi poorly cosplaying the trappings and aesthetics of ancestors whose classpects we didn't know at the time -- ancestors who were in fact constantly teased with words like Thief (Mindfang), Seer (Redglare), and Witch (Condesce) to match their younger descendants' classes even though Andrew likely intended for them to have had different classes all along -- and the severe, extreme, and powerful event that seems to be full-on hero role inversion.

Reading some Homestuck liveblogs lately, I was reminded of the strong and intentional connections that all of Homestuck has with Carl Jung's psychological theories and the concept of the "Shadow" self. And I'm not just talking about a superficial resemblance between the Shadow and role inversion, or the "assimilation of the shadow" and the uniting of one's Real Self and Dream Self to ascend to God Tier. No-- I mean that Jung's theories, even if somewhat discredited, are referenced by the complex stew of mythologies that make up Sburb and define how the game is played, just like all the pop and serious references to works like Lord Of The Rings that made it into the game's objectives. If you skim that wikipedia page you'll very quickly see what I mean:

Nevertheless, Jung remained of the opinion that while "no one should deny the danger of the descent [...] every descent is followed by an ascent",[54] and assimilation of—rather than possession by—the shadow becomes a possibility.

"We begin to travel [up] through the healing spirals...straight up."[53]: 160–1

There's a good reason that Rose was given an interest in psychotherapy leading into the comic. It's tightly tied to the whole story's themes! Trying to show players the potential they have as individuals, the power inherent in their very personalities, and setting them a stage to confront themselves and grow into someone who would shape the future and accept their own self-worth, is the entire point of the game and the answer to the Ultimate Riddle. Every major character had to go through the arduous process of confronting their flaws and talents and trying to accept who they were. The game IS the psychotheraputic journey from start to finish, complete with the same monumental challenges, pitfalls, rejection and acceptance (of help and of oneself!) that all sorts of different people must confront in order to simultaneously fully appreciate and become themselves, and also become the people they truly want to be. Because despite what self-loathing and toxic gender norms and all sorts of naysayers would have us believe, those two things are closer to the same thing than most can easily imagine. The journey to discover, accept, unite with and leverage the power of being you.

And when you tie Jungian Psychology to MBTI personality types, you can practically flip the letters into an opposed Shadow too, in a less literal but startlingly similar way to the class-and-aspect-flip Inversion Theory that we proposed. (DAMMIT i still need to rewrite the Aradia post to be less pretentious, that's been on my to-do list for years but I've never been up to it...)

Again, I still need to read/watch optimisticDuelist's theories (I've had a hard time emotionally looking deep into anything Homestuck for a good while now, and even though you're referencing some pretty old theories i was NEVER very good at keeping up with others' theories besides what was specifically brought to my attention, it was a serious problem), but from what I recall in-comic every time I saw someone mimic or cosplay an ancestor they were mostly... just cosplaying! Nothing is stopping a Seer from picking up a sword and trying to do some knight stuff. TRYING. The only issue is that they won't be very good at it, because they're not actually learning about themselves and leveraging the strengths of their own personality and power set. I have no idea how to use a gun or weapons; if I were to pick one up and try to suddenly join a battle, I would have no idea what I'm doing and would be more likely to get myself or others hurt rather than do anyone any actual good. And even when someone like Terezi picked up a (cane-)sword in the comic, she still mostly used it as a Seer would, as the threat to punctuate or act on explicitly foreseen possibilities. When she ran Vriska through, she was acting on a VISION borne of the realities that hinged on others' decisions and fronts, that revealed themselves through her understanding the Mind aspect. It was no martial superpower, no mental trick-- all Terezi had was the superpower of understanding how badly Vriska's move to fight Jack would play out, with the necessary certainty she needed in order to confidently stab Vriska.

(Brief edit: as an aside, many classes of Heart player might be more positioned to take on and leverage the skills and uniqueness of others. Roleplaying others was one of NEPETA'S strengths.)

Rose's inversion was very, very, VERY different.

The word "witch" was EVERYWHERE around Rose, almost moreso than the Void symbolism. "Witch" was plastered all over Act 5 Act 2 in both the text and visual representations. Other players like Eridan CALLED her a witch REPEATEDLY. We saw a Witch of Time using dual needles and magic. Andrew couldn't have shouted the word any louder. It came with IMMENSE power, the sort of power level we've deduced (and Doc and Rose hinted) comes from someone's Hero Title because it's more powerful than any other mundane, magical, or psychic power source, fitting to the Ultimate Riddle-- when someone pulls out their Hero Powers against any non-hero power source besides sometimes the Green Sun, the one using Hero Powers always wins. It isn't even a contest.

When Rose went grimdark, she looked like a Witch. She didn't look like her mother. And she didn't act like her mother either! Especially when we got Roxy Lalonde in Act 6, it was clear that Rose's Grimdark actions and modus-operandi were absolutely nothing like those of her ecto-sister, even with all the commonalities they shared as people. Whatever inspiration Rose received from her mother's behavior and aesthetics, all it seems she took from it in her Grimdark descent was the Void, and little else.

If you were to try and convince me that what Rose did in Act 5 Act 2 was meant by the author to convey to us the actions of someone behaving as a Rogue of Void and not a Witch of Void, you wouldn't just need to show me evidence of Roguish activity. You'd need to show me ENOUGH evidence that Andrew meant to hide Rogue behavior beneath an intentional Witch whitewash (like that prior tease with the Troll Ancestors being coyly made to sound like they matched their descendants that I described earlier), and that all the Witch symbology and actions were actually a bullshit red herring!!! Few readers thought there was any serious impact of her Grimdark phase to her Class until we stumbled upon Inversion Theory as an extension of Aspect Duality, and a red herring is pretty pointless if it doesn't convince anyone.

Saying that NONE of those witch hints mattered? THAT'S A REALLY TALL ORDER. "Witch of Void" is just way, way too strongly evidenced in my eyes, and almost half of our derivative understanding of classes and aspects is based on Seer <--> Witch duality! It'll be weeks before I have my mental health together enough to watch optimisticDuelist's theories, but like, Seer <--> Witch is the most confident I still am in any theory besides the Ultimate Riddle and Aspect Duality. It'd take quite a lot to make me believe otherwise, so expecting optimisticDuelist's videos to change my mind on this matter would be... er. A little optimistic.

And because of how dependent so many of my theories were on what we learned about aspect duality FROM role inversion, if Seer <--> Witch didn't happen, then you might as well throw out almost everything I've ever said on classpects with the bathwater and start over. Rightly call me biased, but I do really hope I don't have to do that!

(edit 1pm cdt: added a bit more to the second-to-last paragraph before the cut to hammer home that "Shadow (Psychology)" wikipedia article, seriously so many of the characters' journeys in the comic follow it like a playbook. edit 1:15pm cdt: fixed wandering read-more)

[praline-elegy]

A small crumb of a Fence fic I’m working on :)

“Tell me about your relationship with Jesse.” Seiji asked, walking in step beside Nicholas.

“This again?” The other boy groaned as the two made their way back to their shared dorm.

“…I thought we made progress on how much you trust me.” Seiji grumbled, the edges of his mouth pressed into a familiar frown. 

“And you thought suddenly bringing this up wouldn’t affect your friendship points with me?” 

“Friendship points?” His nose scrunched in the most Seiji-esque of ways. 

Nicholas exhaled slowly, trying to smother the irritation skimming his nerves. “Yeah, Seiji. This is like, a level ten secret and you’re only at level two, maybe three,” he countered.

“Then how do I bring up these… ‘friendship points’ so to speak?”

“You can’t rush friendship.” Nicholas retorted, but there was something left unsaid that made Seiji look him in the eyes thoughtfully. Whether there was a glimmer of irritation or something else though, Nicholas didn’t hold that gaze long enough to see.

Seiji stared for a moment, before pulling out his dorm key and unlocking the door, oddly allowing Nicholas to swoop in the doorway as he pondered his next words.

“But?” He finally decided on—a single word—extending the conversation.

Nicholas dropped his bags, sweatshirt halfway pulled off his body with his hand on the bathroom doorknob. “But? I thought this conversation was over!” He turned around to look at Seiji, who just stood still in the middle of the room with an intense gaze in his eyes.

Seiji slipped his bag off of his shoulder, answering bluntly. “Yes Nicholas, ‘but’ is a conjunction used to combine two or more independent clauses together.”

“What’s with the sudden English lesson!” He cried in exasperation.

“It sounded like you had something more to say,” Seiji shrugged, taking off his shoes and pulling out clean clothes to change into. “I just thought I’d do it for you.”

Nicholas huffed, tugging his sweatshirt off all the way, tossing it on his desk as he considered Seiji’s comment. Instead of reaching for the doorknob, he turned around, crossing his arms as he slumped against the bathroom door. Seiji’s eyebrow raised, waiting expectantly for him to answer.

Nicholas thought for a moment, letting his head drop to the side as he gazed in the direction of his most prized possession, the little scrap of newspaper with his dad’s winning article on it encased in a protective sleeve under his mattress.

This wasn’t the kind of secret where you could say it and nothing would change, because it was life-altering to know; even if the facts didn’t change, Seiji definitely would. There was absolutely no way that this knowledge wouldn’t reshape the way he saw Nicholas—his worldview of the boy would be so utterly changed! Nicholas didn’t want that.

But…

It would be nice. He supposed, to have someone by his side, apart from his complicated relationship with his mom. 

But Seiji was… he swallowed, closing his eyes at the tiny flutter in his chest. Somebody he didn’t want to lose, not after they’d become rivals, and even more so as friends and… whatever that thing was that happened with the tennis ball in the salle. He opened his eyes and shifted his gaze to the other side, earnestly considering what to do. Seiji seemed so pleased that Nicholas was thinking hard about the suggestion, that he allowed him a moment of respite as he continued to get ready for his post-training routine, occasionally glancing at Nicholas’s face as he pondered and bit his dry chapped lips.

Why couldn’t Seiji just let it go? Why didn’t Nicholas do the sensible thing and put up a damn boundary? He lied when he said it was a level ten friendship secret—as arbitrary as that system was—it was a fucking nuclear S-tier secret and Nicholas just knew it’d break his heart if Seiji was let in on the one secret he had and let it intensify his obsession with finding Jesse in him. 

Seiji would never see, “Nicholas Cox, his ridiculously fast rival who almost got Seiji’s fourth”—No! Nicholas would be:

“The Coste bastard child and Jesse’s younger brother.”

He didn’t want that. Nicholas was his own person, and he’d really hoped Seiji would come around to see that. 

His chest hurt. 

But secrets changed people, the longer they were kept hidden. How long could he theoretically keep that up with no one in his lonely corner? It’d be nice to have someone, even with a bright blue and yellow ducky curtain hanging in the middle…

Groaning in frustration, Nicholas banged his head against the bathroom door, rubbing his hands over his face. “Why’d you have to say ‘but’! Now I’m actually thinking about it!”

“So you’ll tell me?” Seiji treaded carefully, as though one wrong word could end the conversation once and for all.

Nicholas should’ve just said ‘it’s complicated’ and ended it there. Maybe relenting and acknowledging the situation would quell Seiji’s interrogation for now.

But no, his dumbass heart decided to dig a hole deeper than that, pulling from somewhere deep inside his chest with the slightest sliver of hope and profound conviction that Seiji would certainly refuse.

“Only if you’d go on a date with me,” Nicholas huffed softly, shaking his head as he got off the bathroom door, ready to dose himself in a nice hot shower and leave this conversation in the past. 

“Okay.”

“Wait—what?” Nicholas whipped his head around, surprised to find Seiji standing right behind him, much closer than he’d expected him to be in their tiny dorm room.

“I’ll take you on a date.” He said simply. He left off the part that said, "The price would be so easy;” that Nicholas would so easily bend for a sliver of Seiji’s attention. He’d be right though, which was why Nicholas tried so hard to resist that. To be as absolutely volatile as possible around him.

But his resolution was wavering around the undeniable pull of Seiji’s presence. Nicholas could still feel the light touch and hot hot burning of where the dark haired boy adjusted his stance over a week ago.

Feelings are dumb. 

But this kind of dumb made him feel good. 

He was weak to that.

“I—what are you saying?”

“Friday,” Seiji decided, in a voice that Nicholas pretended was just for him; the rasp in that single word caressing his ear. The taller boy smirked, leaning around him to put a hand against the door. “Friday I’ll take you out for dinner.”

Nicholas’s mouth parted slightly, speechless, as a blush spread across his face. 

Seiji’s eyes flickered down for a moment before looking up again. “And wear something nice.”

He turned the doorknob and walked past Nicholas, clicking the bathroom door shut.

Nicholas stuttered, frozen at the sudden turn of events. Before finally realizing—

“Hey! I was gonna shower first!”

[jiminrings]

hi hi, for the requests,,,,how about doctor!hoseok who "just doesn't have time for a fickle thing like love" and nurse y/n who hoseok was not impressed by because of some bad first impression but y/n still smiles and greets him and has mad respect for him but is a bit intimidated by him cause, "w-why does the doctor never smile?" and maybe one day nurse y/n gets a paper cut while skimming through reports and updating hoseok and doctor hoseok has,,,,cute 'mang' bandaids in his drawers????

no time for love

drabble week: day one

drabble week masterlist

pairing: doctor!hoseok x nurse!y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "if something happens to you, you come to me — not to the receptionist you like chatting with on your lunch breaks."

notes: my first entry for drabble week :D all the requests i got for this week are god-tier and i made big effort to make all of this good and ready to go in the soonest!!! i may also be writing this in the middle of the busiest weeks of my last semester, but oh well hee-hee :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

"question."

namjoon audibly groans, feeling his soul lift away from his body because there you are again

today's a pretty slow day,, considering that you work in the emergency room!!

you've only had two patients come in so far —

first was the guy who ate too much homemade cookie dough wITHOUT baking the flour and now has an E. coli infection :D

the second was a girl who fractured her arm from falling off the hammock she installed on her ceiling (very valid!!!!)

slow days could be good for the emergency room

namjoon seems to think otherwise <3

"no."

you pout because your senior of like lol five months is already answering you and you haven't even asked yet!! you've always known that joon is a little snippy around the edges but this is just tough love

"but-"

he sighs, trying to occupy himself with even the visitor sheets so that he could pass the time faster, "no, y/n. the prewrap is not for you, and i'm not helping you make it as your headband.

BOOO

it was just one hundred time(s)!! your friend who's still in uni is a soccer captain and she does it all the time!! doesn't even budge in the slightest bit

"that wasn't it, joonie," you whine and the nickname's slowly starting to grow on him, just only irritated a notch lower

you actually lower your voice and lean closer, and your whole demeanor's changed too and namjoon doesn't know WHY he also leaned in, but his curiosity outpowers his eyesore for your cheerful nature

"but is uh, is dr. jung single?"

oh my god

namjoon feels compelled to wrap you with a white sheet <3

"our parents are the ones who's friends, not us us!!"

ok fair point

they're not even childhood friends like people thought they were

he doesn't even know how people knew they were related to a degree somehow!!!!

sometime just five years ago, their parents kept bumping to each other at a vacation cruise and they just hIT it off when their team won in charades

he may not acknowledge it now, but namjoon does have the tendency to consider his friends not his friends and his best friends as strangers

see!!! that's why namjoon treats you like he treats the pickles in his burger!!!

he doesn't <3

"you probably know something but you just don't realize it," you counter and that's what makes him deadpan, putting away his clipboard before settling to look you in the eye

"wanna know what i know?"

"are you kidding? i went to nursing school for-"

"hoseok probably hates you. he looks like he’s still holding a grudge after meeting you for the first time."

???

what is namjoon talk-

NO???!?!?

goosebumps rise on your skin automatically and your neck just tWITCHES upon thinking about it

today's an extra chirpy day :D

you bought new laundry detergent right after your shift the night before, and safe to say that you had the time of your life staying up to do ur laundry

the unlikely mix of lavender, vanilla, tHEN sunflowers make up for a god-tier scent on your scrubs

you'd be lying if you didn't think of diluting it with water then putting it in a spray bottle to serve as perfume

eau de laundry <3

oh oh you ALSO ate a legitimate breakfast and not just munching on finger foods because you're in a rush to leave

the elevator ride from the carpark is also nice since you're alone this time a-

lol maybe not

you hold out the door, eyes looking out in instinct

wow

alright

this is a little... breathtaking

you obviously dON'T know the guy but he's also wearing the hospital scrubs!! you've worked both day and graveyard shifts but you've never really seen him before

he's immensely pretty and your throat just tightens and you swallow immediately

he gives a timid smile when you do, backpack slung from his shoulder and a plethora of things all balanced on his right hand

you SHOULD know him, right??

omg wait a second

"hey cutie!!! are you the intern that's starting today?"

the guy wasn't doing anything in the first place, but the way he just freezes is beyond noticeable

what did you just do :((

"hey, it's okay!! don't be nervous. i had my first day here about, two years ago?? i was so nervous that my supervisor offered me an adult diaper."

what the fUCK did he just walk into

you don't notice the way the guy's face twists from offense to irritation, mouth slightly parted and his brows knitting together at the center

"i hope you're gonna be the one who's shadowing me. i can't wait! good luck :D"

the elevator stops at the right moment, looking back to wave at him goodbye but you sCREECH in your tracks when there's a whole group of people outside the elevator

uhhh why are all the doctors gathered here

what's namjoon even doing there???

the guy from behind you sighs and steps outside, immediately having his hair ruffled as a white coat gets wrapped around his shoulders hastily

dr. jung hoseok

hoseok definitely didn't expect for the whole floor to come welcome him but alright he'll take it ://

the light in your face and soul probably left the same time that DR. JUNG (!!!!) did

namjoon narrows his eyes at you because what are yOU doing there???? and why do you look as stiff as an actor from a netflix original

"hey man," joon goes for a side hug with hoseok, the doctors surrounding them probably looking stunned that all the formalities are ditched

"what's her name?" hoseok spares you a careless glance and namjoon does a double-take to why he'd even ask (and what he should interrogate you not-so-casually for)

"that'd be y/n."

hoseok clicks his tongue, sparing one last look at you before he shakes his head once then leaves

joon's not a man of gossip culture but he whistles as soon as the doctors are all out of earshot, patting your shoulders because you look like your circulation's been cut-off

"now what did you do to piss off one of the most patient people that i know?"

remembering any detail from that interaction makes you want to cry so bad

not to mention dELETE yourself!!!

"b-but that was six months ago!! it's just that he looked so young a-and-"

"you've been trying to remedy that blunder for six months too, but he's not budging. yes, y/n, i've memorized it already."

:((

it feels unfixable at this point

hoseok told namjoon before that he doesn't have time for a fickle thing like love and it's been stamped on your mind ever since

good thing you don't love him!!!

hehe

ok wait

it might just be a little crush even if you decimated yourself in front of him

every morning when you come to work, you deliver coffee to the breakroom and it must be when hoseok's also there bc that's the whole point lol

you don't just buy one for him because that's TOO obvious

"morning, doc!!" is your go-to and you can't tell if it's also his

you get a :-] in exchange

you're always smiling and the other nurses are just in love with you

you always try to compliment dr. jung on something and you've honestly never really ran out of material

but at THIS rate???? where you've made approximately zero to none progress?? passing out is what you'll do

"he hates me, tae."

when namjoon doesn't listen (he always does but he just rarely reciprocates your energy), that's when your work husband comes in!!

he would hate it when you tell him he isn't your work husband though

taehyung's the receptionist you'd probably work through unvaccinated kids for

he matches your energy and he finds you the perfect work wife too because he's RESTLESS with just sitting behind a desk!! he needs someone to ramble to!!

"you're probably overthinking it. must be all that overcompensation," he's snacking on chips, hugging his cardigan but not before trying to wipe off the crumbs on your scrubs

"watch this," you tap his thigh hurriedly, clearing your throat before turning to hoseok who happens to be walking down the hall

"hey doc! new stethoscope? i love-"

he walks past you, ignoring you entirely

"yeah he does hate you!!"

taehyung sounds amused, letting out a hearty laugh considering how perfectly-aligned that went

he rubs circles on your back, still standing because you're too frustrated to even sit down

"just give it time."

"i gave it half a year!"

yikes

hmmm that does sound tragic

"maybe he just doesn't want to be your friend? if he's not affected by ignoring you, then you shouldn't be either."

wow

taehyung tends to be rEALLY honest

but he's like an endearing kind of honest

he spoke the thoughts from the back of your head, and hearing it from someone else just makes the gears in your head turn

is it really that ridiculous

"oh so like i stop smiling at him so he'd miss me?? like that???"

you... are hopeless

"no.... i wasn't proposing a plan,,, i was proposing a solution to make you not look like a fool."

you deflate at that, the entire plan being 2d making it boring for you

"oh,, i hate it then."

you physically shrug off your thoughts, nudging taehyung so he could scoot over and you'd have one buttcheek each on his chair

maybe you're just gonna try to ignore hoseok today

it's probably for the better

"anything new today?"

you check up on taehyung as usual, knowing that you'd get atleast one decent conversation today

"about twenty people asked me where the restroom is today, even if we just got huge boards hung to say where it is."

taehyung juts his bottom lip, turning his head to look at you when you're doing the exact same thing

"how 'bout you?"

oh wow you're sitting so close

taehyung's really pretty

that's your work husband right there!! :D

there's a harsh drop of a clipboard on the front desk, making the both of you jolt and knock your foreheads together

"y/l/n. rounds. no one else is available."

DR. JUNG??????

HOSEOK????

is he okay

he looks agitated

kinda looks like someone just stepped on his work sneakers intentionally over and over again

you're more perplexed with his expression rather than the fact that dr. jung IS talking to you

"doc...? i think namjoon's-"

hoseok only deadpans, tilting his head because it's yOU who's hesitating now

"am i asking for him or you?"

right

very right

you say goodbye to taehyung even if your break technically isn't over yet, picking up the clipboard wordlessly before following

it just goes like this

you narrating things to hoseok, him asking you, and nO conversation at all

you really didn't expect anything else

BUT THE THING IS

you weren't trying either!!!

you don't try to point out his new shoes or compliment his new stethoscope

what you didn't know is that hoseok's been sneaking glances at you the wHOLE entire time

he doesn't know what possessed him but seeing you sO close to taehyung when there's a whole other chair you could sit on!!!! wow!!!! he didn't know his blood pressure was capable of doing that

the last round's long been done but hoseok just can't stop looking at your clipboard, can he?

does he uh want you to give it back to him

you're looking quite intimidated

you can't stand it anymore so you just slightly bend your head over and look rIGHT up dr. jung, clearly taken in surprise when you did that

"your finger. it's bleeding."

it is??

oh right it is

you must've gotten it when you were flipping through pages in a hurry because of him, giving you questions you weren't entirely sure of

"oh!"

you forget that dr. jung is still there as you walk on autopilot to go to reception, knowing that tae has a whole canister of cute band-aids when-

"no. i'll take care of it."

dr. jung's wordlessly tugging at your forearm, not letting go even to the way towards one of the many empty beds, drawing the curtains closed

he makes you sit wordlessly, and the lacking buzz of a busy emergency room makes it even more intimate to say the least in such uh,, a confined space

you make hoseok confused

one moment he doesn't want to see you, but one moment he's ripping off horse band-aids to wrap around your finger

you're confusing him even if you hAVEN'T done anything confusing to him at all!!

"if something happens to you, you come to me — not to the receptionist you like chatting with on your lunch breaks."

huh

interesting

you resist the urge to smile, having to bite your tongue just so that you'd prevent yourself from getting into conclusions

"it's a paper cut, doc."

"a paper cut that could be infected."

uh no not entirely

this was supposed to be a nice wholesome moment!!! not tHIS!!

"it closes after like one lick and-"

right you shouldn't have said that

one look is all it takes to shut you up <3

the two of you are still in silence, internally scoffing when dr. jung busts out a glove for a goddamn paper cut to humor you

"you didn't give me my coffee today."

is that what this is about??

he says gloomily, looking genuinely upset that it makes you falter

"s-sorry. the café was closed."

"no it wasn't. it's open. i checked."

of course he did!!! he may have went downstairs to peek if you were just held up in line so that's why his customary coffee was taking long,, but you weren't even there in the first place

you're speechless honestly

for perhaps the first non-professional time that dr. jung talks to you, it straight-up has to be alluding your crush to him

hoseok takes your silence to heart though

"why aren't you talking now?"

rEALLY???

"because you hate me!!"

he thinks of what could be a reason to hate you for, something clicking in his head when he realizes what you've been holding on for the longest time

"i don't hate you for what you did half a year ago," he says casually, shaking his head over an honest mistake that you made, "i hate you because you never followed through with it."

"what's that supposed to mean??"

"sure — you get me coffee! but then what? did you ever ask me out?? did you ever call me baby again-"

now HE'S being ridiculous >:(

"i called you cutie-"

"IT'S THE SAME THING!!!"

okay

fine then

dr. jung's endearing, even more-so when you don't get to admire him from afar

you wordlessly stand from your seat on the bed, nudging the curtains to the side before exiting

o-oh my god

was that a low blow???

IS HE THE ASSHOLE HERE

yes most likely

dr. jung continues to surprise you when he sprints after you, hand on your forearm as he looks at you worriedly

"h-hey are you mad at me?"

????

cute

"huh? no, i was just gonna go and gloat to namjoon about this."

oh right makes sense

hoseok looks relieved, mouth parting to sheepishly smile and lets go of your arm

you leave this time, a smile you've been trying to suppress finally breaking out

"y/l/n!"

there's more than a few glances when he hollers your surname, an anticipating smile on his face

"coffee?"

[mrsmalfoymagic]

Card Three

“S. Black”

Great, just what we needed, more fuel to add to the fire of rumours and speculations about us.

Sirius and I were close. Too close, many of our classmates would argue. And I got it, there was no denying there was a… tension about us – I’d always catch him staring up at me in the great hall, but that’s only because I’d be looking in the first place. But we were best friends. Always hung out and studied together, spent all of our weekends with the rest of the Marauders (although somehow it would result in just the two of us heading off together as we’d have lost track from our conversations and torments). We were an unrivalled duo. Every year we’d rig the system so that we’d be on the same timetable, even at desperate times he’d used Polyjuice potion just so that he could be in the same classes as me when he had free periods.

But no. Just friends. At least, that’s what I liked to convince myself, and had done for the entirety of our time at Hogwarts.

So, this was going to be totally fine if I kept my composure.

With that, trying to cast any unruly thoughts aside, I approached the door to the closet. James Potter was stood there, and with a friendly greet and wink, he allowed me in.

Damn, this room is small.

It wasn’t even a solid minute before the door opened again, allowing a small glimpse of light into the room. I held my breath as I could sense Sirius was now behind me knocking shelves, kicking supplies and cursing as he ran his hands through the empty space ahead trying to find his bearings in the swallowing darkness.

“Where the hell are you?” Sirius laughed in defeat, before accidentally snagging at my hand.

Accidentally, I was sure. So why was he not letting go?

I felt the pressure of being issued closer to him, sliding against his forearm until I was directly in front, his wild curls reaching to my shoulders.

“Might want to keep your distance, Sirius. Don’t want them to talk.” I insinuated about our classmates.

“They already talk.” His voice was tired.

“Right. Just like the rumour about the library.”

“And Hogsmeade.”

“During Divinations class.”

“- Under the whomping willow. My personal favourite.” I could hear his trademark smirk.

“- Only because you started that one.”

“You never complained though, did you?” He now webbed his fingers between mine. I didn’t reply, instead took a long, broken breath, and gulped as I considered what he was doing. He was never this way with me, never handsy or intimate. His voice was melting me, but I could never show it.

He continued with a changing tone. It was darker, laced with temptation as his grip tightened.

“You know, come to think of it, part of me has thought for a while you wouldn’t mind if the rumours were true.”

“Strange,” I responded with a similar overdosing charm, “I get the same sense from you.”

He laughed cheekily, and I could feel myself coming undone with the hot breath now fanning my face, made worse by the concept of the pair of us flirting. It could be brushed off as banter and teasing in any other setting. But here? We were seducing each other.

“Maybe you’re right. We have to tolerate the whispers already, why not get something out of it?”

His other hand now found its way towards my side and seized me into him. My chest was in direct contact with his and I could feel the rumble of his heartbeat over me.

“You sure you want to?” I asked, feeling a chill slither up my spine.

“It’s just me. What’s the worst that could happen?” he reassured. His lips were closer now that I could practically taste him - an inebriating burn of black coffee and wet grass.

My fingertips relaxed onto his knuckles as I found hold of several locks of his shaggy brown hair with my other hand. I was lost in the moment, forgetting the reality that I was stood in front of Sirius, someone I had considered my best friend. Granted, I clearly had feelings for him, but for him to feel the same? Surely, I was going mad and would soon find myself waking back up from this dream.

“Tell me,” he whispered, his breath skimming mine, “How you really feel.”

I had to be honest with him; admit to the secret even I had tried to convince myself of otherwise. He needed to know. Maybe he was waiting for me to admit my truth before he could admit his.

Either way, trapped here, for however many more minutes - there was no escape from it.

“I want this, Sirius.” I at long last confessed.

Suddenly his hand outlined my form until finding my face. His thumb pinched my cheek as his palm held my face up to align with his. This was it. The moment I had tried desperately to block out of my conscience – had fought so hard to dismiss.

“You want me to kiss you?” His voice was serious. I nodded against his grasp and leant in an inch; enchanted into total submission.

But just as my lip touched his, my knees gave in, feeling an imbalance below my feet and began to sink. I looked down but found I was perfectly still. Sirius was still as calm as he had been, but suddenly his eyes were hollow and clouded, as if he were no longer there.

I could feel myself disappearing from him, my soul sinking in my body, like melting chocolate inside a shelled candy. Without the roar in my throat, I could still hear myself scream, then in a blinding jolt of light, I was back at my seat in the room of requirement, where I had been before I had drawn Sirius’ card.

 Coming to, I found Sirius kneeling on the floor ahead of me. He had a look of sincerity and concern.

“You dick.” I cursed, realising what he had done - that I hadn’t almost kissed Sirius, never had that conversation, never entered the closet, was never even given a card initially.

Shoving him away as he stared cautiously towards me, I got up from my seat and left with haste, bypassing the choir of wolf whistles as per our usual encounters.

“Y/n!” he called as I brushed past him. But this wasn’t a game to me. This wasn’t just a stupid prank.

 “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sirius’ voice came from behind as he continued to follow me out of the room of requirement, all the while my whole body seized with shame and disgust.

“I don’t suppose I need to.” My voice was breaking through the forming tears, “You did a brilliant job finding out yourself. Legilimency Spell, how clever of you!”

“You don’t understand.”

I spun on my heel and, with gritted teeth, confronted him. As he made his way to me, surprisingly his nose was flared in a desperate concealment of a smirk.

“Find it funny, do you?” I scorned.

“Not at all.” He said serenely, locking his cedar eyes in mine and taking my hand while the other wiped away the still budding tears at my waterline.

“I need to show you something.” He snatched my hand and directed me hurriedly through all manner of corridors - some guarded by Prefects which meant our usual stealthy escapades, which seemed to alleviate some hostility I had towards him, until at long last we made it to a forbidden section of the grounds. Or more, an area we had yet to have ventured together.

 “Where are we?” I snapped in hushed tones as we made way through the labyrinth of unfamiliar doors and unused classrooms.

“Shush,” he hissed, now weaving his fingers between mine to guide me further, “Filch will catch us.”

 We made it to the end of the hall – which showcased a grand, towering oak door.

“Lupin and I found this place last week.” He informed, bringing out his wand to perform an unlocking spell.

“Outstanding.” I replied coldly, mostly from the embarrassment of his knowledge of my feelings towards him, “But what does that have to do with me?”

“You’ll see.” He opened the door and allowed me in. The stale neglected space was like any other disused classroom – chipped, richly detailed stone columns, smashed stained glass pains, cracked stone floor, and deteriorating, humming pipes overhead.

The only remaining furniture was a spectacle all unto its own. A royal gold mirror standing proudly in the centre of the room. The reflection seemed to showcase clouds of rust. On its head were three tiers, like a crown, with transcribable text just below.

“Is that why we’re here?” I pointed at the vintage accessory as Sirius play safely locked the door before approaching me slowly.  

“When he and I left, Remus did a little research. It’s called the Mirror of Erised.”

I was still unsettled by his actions, so raised a brow at him to insinuate my disregard.

“According to Remus,” he continued on in exasperation of my reactions, “It shows you your deepest desires.”

My stomach lurched.

“So, you want me to stand in front of this, too? To prove what point exactly? You know how I feel. You can stop mocking me about it now -”

“- You don’t know how I feel, y/n.”

Sirius tucked his hands into his pockets, stretching his arms uncomfortably.

“We were toying around with it. Lupin… saw a full moon with him stood under it – as a human.” He gave a suggestive look. We both knew about Remus’ condition, and I crinkled my lips in pity.

“I, on the other hand,” he continued sadly, failing to look me in the eyes. Instead, cupping my hands in his once more, much like he did in my reverie.

“I saw you.” He turned to face his reflection in the mirror. His expression was profound as he acknowledged it, “I still see you.”

I flinched, and instinctively clasped onto Sirius’ wrists. My chest pulsed heavily in shock.

“Seeing your reflection next to mine, it made me realise something I’d always tried to ignore, because I never fully understood it. Until now.”

He paused, and I could now see the fight in the creases of his face, down to the twitch in his lips – he was trying to brave looking at me, admitting his own truth aloud to both himself and to me.

“I don’t want to be just friends with you, y/n. I don’t want rumours and gossip. I don’t want missed opportunities and wasted moments. And I’m sorry – really, I am – for tonight, for not telling you last week, for not telling you years ago. That you are my deepest desire.”

He finally found me and trapped me in his sights - confirming his place in my eyes with a solemn half grin.

“That’s why I charmed you. I was too much of a coward to tell you, too worried I’d ruin our friendship. I’d tried before to see how you felt – the rumour about the whomping willow. You didn’t react. So, when I heard about the game tonight, I took my opportunity to finally see if you felt the same.”

He took an adrenaline filled trembling breath.

“So, no charms, no spells, no Polyjuice potion. Just me and you. After everything. Do you still want this?”

[grahamcarmen]

Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with  “YEAH THIS IS YOU.”  AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better.  it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

[valiantly-onward]

The Serpentine War Ch. 7

Chapter 7: The Alliance

It was going so well until the giant snake showed up.

The Anacondrai were on them in an instant. Maya’s raised shield met an Anacondrai sword with a clash! Ray tried to summon his fire again, but it didn’t respond. Only his instincts saved him from getting skewered. The loss of his katana crept back in, cold and fearful.

Then a battle cry erupted from behind. Ray chanced a look over his shoulder. There they were at last, the village defenders. Red masks were pulled over their noses, reminiscent of the ninja of days long past. Despite their disorganization and haphazard collection of old swords and spears, they never slowed.

The villagers crashed into a wave of violet. Metal clanged. Anacondrai roared. Ray found himself trapped in the middle. He tried to find an opening in the chaos, but he couldn’t shoot fire without hurting one of his own.

In his desperation, he thought he might have cried, “Maya!” Whether in his mind or out loud, the crashing of the battle drowned it out.

Then world slowed. A single Anacondrai sword cleaved the air over Ray’s head. He raised a hand, uncertain if fire would follow.

But the sword never dropped. Instead, as if yanked by an invisible rope, it flew straight up and soared away. The snake it belonged to was pulled along behind it. A cluster of Serpentine rose into the air and dropped again in a jumble.

Ray stared. “What the…”

Something swooped overhead; Ray ducked instinctively. He snapped back up, ready to fight, but it was no snake, no trick of the Serpentine. It was a man in a golden helmet, hovering in the air.

Lei’s wild laugh escaped the ruckus. She stepped out of the shadows to shake her fist at the flying man. “Dojin, you cut it close!”

“And you - behind you!” the man called back.

Lei spun to face a blue Serpentine and disappeared into the battle.

The Anacondrai ranks were reforming from Dojin’s attack. Before the nearest could rise, Ray shoved forward and slammed his boot into the warrior’s snout. He swiped up the Anacondrai’s fallen sword.

Woah. Ray allowed himself a millisecond to admire the craftsmanship of the weapon, even if he had no idea what it was made of. Each serrated edge had been formed with individual precision, needle-sharp and not at all brittle.

Maya appeared at Ray’s side again - she’d lost the shield, but she seemed alright. Many of the villagers lined up behind the two of them. Ray swung the sword in a wide berth to fend off the approaching Anacondrai. They were not frightened. Before he had the chance to defend again, they rushed forward.

Above, Master Dojin dove in again. He skimmed the top of the Ancondrai, swerving between their swords. He clawed at their snaky heads, pulled some off the ground with his strange power, and basically wreaked havoc. Ray’s hope spiked. They might actually have a chance. Together, they could win this!

Stupid giant snake.

The ground began to tremble. At first, Ray thought it was Serpentine reinforcements. And in a way it was. But it was worse than Anacondrai.

It curled around from the side of the mountain, crushing a section of village wall. A giant snake. A real snake, not a Serpentine. Its mighty maw opened larger than Ray’s whole body. Purple scales, darker than the Anacondrai’s, swept through the snow and rubble.

It reared its head in an “S” behind the floating Dojin, who was busy surveying the battle.

“Dojin!” Lei’s voice cried from somewhere unseen.

The man spun just in time for the serpent’s giant fang to pierce his shoulder.

Dojin did not scream. When the snake released him, he simply dropped from the sky and landed in a heap at the base of the fountain. His helmet clanged against the stone.

Ray wanted to push through the Serpentine, but they were too thick, too strong. Like fighting a stone wall.

Thankfully, he caught sight of Lei appearing in the shadow of the mountain face. She locked eyes with him across the square and shouted, “To the outer wall!” Then she and Dojin vanished.

Ray glanced to the side, where Maya was. She shot him a quick look, a determined look, and pushed forward.

The battle raged. Ray’s fear was long since evaporated. It was all instinct now, promising him life but not particularly caring if it was wrong. And he was getting tired. His Elemental energy seemed nearly spent.

Amazingly, the giant serpent seemed to retreat, as if its work with the old Elemental Master was its only purpose. An effective purpose - Ray and Maya were the only Masters left fighting. As the snake slid back around the mountain, the Serpentine renewed their attack with force. Villagers fell under the crushing might of the huge Anacondrai.

Maya kept fighting. Her expression was a fierce, fierce thing when she was angry. But Ray was used to the feeling of losing. He knew this battle couldn’t be won.

It wasn’t really his decision to make, but he made it anyway. “Retreat!” he called to the villagers.

It seemed they’d been waiting for the word. The line broke, and the villagers scattered. The snakes raised a cacophony hiss of triumph.

Only Maya remained. Her sight of the fountain was cut off and that seemed to be interfering with her powers. Smaller and smaller balls of water emerged from her fingers.

“Maya!” Ray shouted. “Let’s go!”

She threw more water. It sputtered.

“Maya!”

She dropped her hands with a frustrated yell, then turned on her heel and sprinted after him.

The Serpentine gave chase. Ray kept Maya and the villagers moving, but he had to turn and fend off the black snakes. A blade sliced his upper arm and he barely felt it.

As the warriors dropped away from Ray’s dying fire, he saw someone approaching through their lines. A regal green Serpentine with curling black markings, bearing a golden staff. Its slitted eyes landed on Ray.

Was this the leader, then? The commander of this forsaken battle? Ray wanted so badly to dive through the warriors and set fire to the creature. But he could see his death too clearly in that scenario. It took all his willpower, but he convinced himself to wait.

And run.

They reached the outer wall. Ray took one last look at the smoking buildings, and that green snake with the staff. Even from far away, it leered at him. Smiled to show its fangs.

Ray smiled back, baring his own teeth in challenge. This wasn’t over.

He would not rest until they were free from these monsters.

~~~

“Hold still.” Maya jerked Ray’s shoulder back. “Pouting won’t make it better.”

“I’m not pouting.”

“‘He said, while pouting’.”

This caused Ray to scowl. But he was quiet as Maya finished bandaging his arm.

Flying on dragonback was actually smoother than expected, but if three was a crowd, four was certainly pushing it. Maya had to lean over Ray’s shoulder to get a good angle, which did terrible things to his pulse.

He called to Lei against the wind. “Where did that big snake come from?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” She shifted the injured Master of Gravity - for that’s what he was - against her dragon’s neck. He wasn’t dead, but he might still be, if they didn’t hurry.

Ray leaned to the side to avoid Lei’s flapping braids. Below, Ninjago was just sand and rocks. Ahead, the ridge of the Echo Canyons rose above the dunes. Lei’s dragon dipped, ever so slightly, until Ray could see their destination: a small valley between two stone walls, not quite a canyon but a tier above one.

People below scattered for Lei to land. Maya slid off, then Ray and Lei with the Master of Gravity.

Ray surveyed the “valley.” A few worn tents stood between them and the rock walls. Ray noted half a dozen people, if that, looking back at him. Many sets of eyes were drawn to the Anacondrai sword in his hand. He hadn’t realized he was still holding it.

A man hurried toward them, wearing an armored wrap and a full beard Ray would’ve killed for. The wind tousled the man’s black hair.

Lei saw him immediately. “Lorin!”

“Lei.” The man reached them. “I thought you were defending Jamanakai Village.”

“Were,” Lei corrected. “Not anymore. Lorin - Dojin is hurt.”

“I’ll take him.” The man scooped up the Master of Gravity like he weighed nothing - which he probably didn’t. His brow deepened as he turned to Ray and Maya. “Fire and Water, I take it?”

“Yes,” Ray said for both of them.

“I am Lorin, the Master of Earth.” He offered them his free hand. Pleased, Ray shook it, and Maya did the same.

“Lorin,” Lei interjected. “Where’s Wu?”

“Command tent.” He jerked his head toward one of the tents, slightly bigger than the others. “Go. I’ll come when I’ve taken care of our friend here.”

He jogged off with Dojin. Lei guided them toward the command tent. The other Masters followed - Ray assumed that’s who they were. A blonde woman in a long blue coat and boots. A short, mustached man with a fez and green vest. A pair of identical men wearing red full-body armor. What a varied, jumbled lot.

They ducked under the tent flap. Sure enough, there was Master Wu. Amazingly, his staff was away from his hands, leaning against the tent wall. He and an old man in blue robes leaned over a table of maps.

Wu looked up as they entered. “Master of Shadow. Ray, Maya - what are you doing here?”

“Jamanakai Village is lost,” Lei announced. She bowed her head. “I - I’m sorry.”

Wu’s gaze fell low, his eyes shadowed by the dim candlelight. “Dojin. I sent him-”

Lei nodded in confirmation. “He was injured, but he’ll be okay, with luck.”

“And the villagers?”

“Most of them escaped. Not all.”

No one spoke for a long moment.

Ray couldn’t stand the silence. He slammed the table with his palms. “So what? Jamanakai’s gone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still stop the Serpentine. So what’s next? What do we do now?”

“Well said, Master of Fire,” replied the old man. He looked at Wu. “This does change things. We believed the Serpentine would abandon the effort to move through the Canyons if they could not obtain Jamanakai Village. Now that they have possession, we will likely be facing a war on two fronts. One will be here. The other will be their contingency route, which we have yet to find.”

“I see only one path.” Wu laid a finger on a map. “The direct way from the sands, south of the western Sea of Sand and the mountains. There is a pass here that will give them direct access to the majority of our lands. Ray, did you see Anacondrai?”

Ray started, surprised to be called on. “Yeah, we did.”

“Not many,” Lei added. “Only half a battalion. But that was enough.”

Wu nodded his agreement. He pointed at the brown smudge on the map that indicated the Echo Canyons. “Then of the half moving this way, few are Anacondrai. So the rest of the Anacondrai must be somewhere else. If we can stop them before they reach the pass, we may be able to push back.”

“Master Wu,” a voice rumbled from behind Ray. This was Lorin, who must’ve arrived while they’d been talking. His face was a mask of concern. “There is town in those hills, not far from the pass. My hometown. The Serpentine will have to move through it. We must defend it.”

“So we shall,” Wu promised. He straightened before the gathered Alliance. “It is decided. Five of us will remain here in the Canyons. The rest will go with Lorin and head off the Serpentine. Make haste, my friends.”

@greenygreenland

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 25 of 26

Title: A Killing Frost (2020) (October Daye #14)

Author: Seanan McGuire

Genre/Tags: Urban Fantasy, First-Person, Female Protagonist

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 9/08/2020

Date Finished: 9/12/2020

October "Toby" Daye is getting married, but one obstacle stands in her way. A friend informs her of an ancient Faerie custom; she has to invite her father to the wedding, or he can claim offense and exact revenge. There's just one problem: Toby's legal father is Simon Torquill, once her greatest enemy. Now, he's something else-- but due to a curse cannot find his way home, which means he no longer recognizes Toby as someone he cares about. Toby has to find Simon and somehow break the curse, but doing so will be no simple task.

Simon Torquill. The man I'd once considered to be my greatest enemy. The man I was now willingly risking everything I had for the opportunity to save. Faerie isn't fair, and the world doesn't make sense.  

Major series and book spoilers under the cut. 

Why yes, I am formally reviewing the fourteenth book in a series without doing the first thirteen. Sue me. I enjoy the October Daye series, and I'm glad that it's still so entertaining and genuinely surprising 14 books (and however many short stories/novellas) into the story. While I didn't love the last book as much as usual, A Killing Frost (#14) is a return to form, serving as a continuation to one of my favorites in the whole series, The Brightest Fell (#11). Simon's back in this one. I've said it before, but he has some of the most interesting development in the series, and has genuinely become one of my favorite characters. One of the big things about the October Daye series is role reversal in character development. Many of Toby’s early allies die or turn into enemies. Many of the people she initially dislikes or considers enemies become allies over the course of the series. It’s one of the things that makes this series so fun to read and reread; seeing how the characters change and develop parallel to Toby’s own character growth.  Simon's no exception. He’s billed from the prologue of the first book as the series supervillain, but it becomes obvious over time that it's not so simple. While he is certainly a morally gray character, he does seem to have a genuine desire to redeem his wrongs and become a better person. His motives, though flawed, make sense, and he fights to do the right (or least harmful) thing despite considerable supernatural manipulation. Over the course of The Winter Long (#8) and The Brightest Fell (#11)  (coincidentally, some of the best books in the series), he goes through an extensive redemption arc. A Killing Frost (#14) is the conclusion to that. Someone informs Toby she has to invite her father to her wedding with Tybalt, or he can legally claim offense and do all sorts of terrible shit. Unfortunately, since Toby's actual human father is long dead, that means she has to invite Simon, her legal father. And, as of The Brightest Fell (#11), dude's disappeared, cursed/evil, and unable to remember any of the good things in his life (i.e. home), unless he finds the lost King of Faerie, Oberon. Who has, notably, been missing for five hundred years. Never mind that finding Oberon is a central thesis of the series, built up from the beginning. So, Toby gets to find a man who doesn't remember he doesn't want to kill her and somehow invite him to her wedding, and the only thing standing in her way is an impossible task. Super. Things go about as well as you'd expect, but this book has one of the most shocking twists/developments yet tucked in at the end. Considering how many damn twists October Daye has, that's saying something. It's a game-changer and I genuinely don't know where things will go from here. Foreshadowing in this series is excellent; it always reads a certain innocuous way at first, and you only see the double meaning once a twist is revealed, often books later. This particular twist was set up since at least Ashes of Honor (#6). I angrily skimmed through that book and caught it and now I'm mad. I won’t get into more detail because it’s VERY good and I don’t want to spoil it.  Also, definitely a spoiler, but this book ends with an OT3, which I genuinely didn't expect, and really, really like. Thanks for my life, Seanan? I have a mental tier list of these books since there are so many of them (yes, I know this is embarrassing). A Killing Frost (#14) gets very close to S tier. The only thing keeping it in A tier is some early stuff. Most of the adventure is a retread of places and characters we've seen before, which are mostly unchanged. While this isn't a bad thing, it means the core plot/journey just isn’t as interesting as it could be. I find myself wishing it brought something new to the table. The ending, though, is excellent. I've reread the final four or five chapters a couple times now. I really hope the next book keeps up the momentum, because JEEZ. I'm not sure why anyone would read this review if you haven't actually read the series, but uh. I recommend it? October Daye is entertaining, Faerie-based urban fantasy. Do note that the series is super long at this point, though. I personally recommend reading through to The Winter Long (#8) and seeing if you want to continue from there.  

[bscully]

Will Moonlight Boy lose his life trying to save Guts and Casca?

Hello and thanks for the ask! Sorry for the wait!

I’m going to answer this with the current knowledge/concept I have of what the Moonlight Boy is, how he came into being, and how he relates to Griffith/Femto. (my recommendation: In case you don’t understand anything in this answer, read or at least skim over those two articles)

I thought about that. In general, yes, there is a risk for him to lose his life saving his parents and in doing so, he’d also rid Femto of the base of his dream as well (given he needs a body to possess in order to rule over the humans).

Like, Moonlight Boy dies, everyone else is alive, Femto becomes powerless because no human body to use/possess anymore. The End.

Maybe. Lol.

If it’s true that the Moonlight boy’s power is similar or equal to that of Femto’s then only a force equal or greater than that would be able to kill him. The idea that the moonlight boy’s power must be similar or equal to Femto’s comes from the fact that the boy is strong enough to break free from the shackles of his spiritual possession during full moons.

So what or who could possibly kill or have the intention to kill the Moonlight Boy?

A powerful astral force, that means Godhand-/Idea of Evil-Tier and higher

A group of powerful apostles might be a little bit too much for the boy to handle, too (but that depends how effective his abilities are against other apostles - we only saw how he used his abilities against lost souls/wraiths and familiars)

Rakshas could possiby become a threat to the Boy, who did mention to lob Griffith’s head off. We even see him perform an attempt on Griffith’s life in volume 23 (see pic below). If we go by the assumption Femto possesses the moonlight boy’s body, Femto himself would be untouched from the physical body (= moonlight boy) being killed, because he is an astral, not physical entity; which again, for me begs the question: who or what in the fuck is “Griffith” then? I feel like Griffith at this point is just a farce of Femto at this point to get his castle in the sky: #GriffithDoesntExistAnymore ya’ll

Assuming the moonlight boy is something that is akin to an apostle, the abyss of souls might be able to suck him in too, in a similar fashion to how Guts and the Snail apostle were attracted to it in the Black Swordsman Arc

Last but not least, Guts is also a threat to him as well, because he might still want to go kill Griffith, not knowing Griffith’s body is actually that of his son.

I’m going a lil bit off topic here but the train of thought here might be interesting to some, especially if you have more questions about Moonlight Boy/Griffith/Femto and how that could look like in the finale, so here’s much more babbling below the cut:

Can Femto kill the Moonlight Boy?

I think Femto in principle can do whatever he wants with him, though if he did kill him it’d be of no service for him, at least not now.

It may be different once Femto deems it of no use anymore to appear as Griffith before humankind (e.g. in the event he ascends a level higher into the astral plane, like Ganishka did) - then I can see Femto having a reason to kill the Moonlight Boy.

Can the Moonlight Boy kill Femto?

To answer that question, we must see whether how strong the Boy actually is.

At least, we just by what’s happening in Berserk we do know that they must have very similar powers and abilities:

Manipulation of Mind and Od:

> Femto/“Griffith” showing up as ethereal body (?) before the King of Midland died (this happened before Femto descended from the astral plane during the birth ceremony)

> Femto/”Griffith” showing up as vision in Zodd’s day dream

vs

> The Demon Infant being able to project a dream or vision into Guts’ mind to make him go save Casca (again, this happened before the birth ceremony, so he was completely separated from Femto)

> The Moonlight Boy showing up as ethereal body before Berserker Guts

> The Moonlight boy shooing away a crocodile familiar

Summoning Souls:

> Femto/“Griffith” collecting souls and sending them “back”

vs

> The Demon Infant controlling the heretics (assuming Demon Infant = Moonlight Boy)

Looking at all of this, this begs the question:

Is Femto only borrowing the moonlight boy’s power (which are similar if not the same as the demon infants’) or is he actually using his own?

Honestly? I feel like Femto is only borrowing them, because we are NEVER actually shown how Femto uses his power in the physical world, mostly because Femto is strictly an astral being, so his area of influence is not in the physical world. When Femto attempts to kill Guts and Casca as Skull Knights saves them during the Eclipse does NOT count, because it happens in an astral dimension. He usually enters the mind of people in the following cases (the ones that I remember on top of my head):

he pays the King of Midland a visit before he dies, assuming what the King saw was “real” and not just a hallucination (= a mere product of his brain)

he cuts off Zodd’s  horn in a day-dream or vision in volume 17. This is the only time Femto’s actions have clear consequence in the physical world. And even then, you could argue this was only possible because Zodd is an apostle (aka an astral being that has connection to the astral realm anyways)

For whatever reason, moments before the World Transformation, Femto (not Neo-Griffith!!!!) appears before an ascended Ganishka. This is most intriguing actually - To find out whether that bit happened in the ASTRAL world or the PHYSICAL world, and also find out all its implications, I’ll have to read up and take a closer look!

For the Moonlight Boy to lose his life saving his parents, they must be exposed to great danger. That danger can be various, ranging from mythical/astral beings and apostles to the God Hand members (except Femto), as pointed out above.

Only when Femto/Griffith is located inside an astral dimension, Femto can be killed without harming the Moonlight Boy, or even the Moonlight Boy himself would be possibly able to kill Femto. Meanwhile, the Moonlight Boy is always in danger and his own father might even be a danger to him (cause everyone else thinks Griffith is Griffith and not Guts and Casca’s son; readers included lol). At least, in case Guts will never understand what happened to his own son (I honestly hope Casca will change that).

Consider that…

calling a Behelit does open up an astral dimension, usually depicted in the shape of a tornado (!!!)

The moment the astral dimension is opened via the behelit, Guts WILL NOT hesitate to take his chance to land a strike on Femto. If Guts or Casca get in danger doing so (other apostles pose a major threat) the moonlight boy will very likely save them

as long as Femto is possessing the Moonlight Boy, he will NOT be able to kill Guts nor Casca because of the moonlight boy’s feelings for his parents; it might look very differently if Femto occurs before him in his astral form only, without possessing the Boy. This is when Femto will be able to kill them as he pleases, and this is also when the Boy might lose his life saving them. Eventually, if the moonlight boy is killed, it also effectively destroys Femto/“Griffith”’s dream of the castle in the sky. That’s why for now, it’s in Femto’s interest to keep him alive.

So these following events will likely happen all at the same time:

Guts’ behelit will activate by someone who is close to him at the moment in time (does NOT have to be someone in his party), without necessarily making a sacrifice

Because of the shifting dimensions when making a sacrifice, Guts and Casca get a chance to save their son by killing Femto

The moonlight boy might be able to break free from Femto’s shackles all by himself anyway, if we consider that the moonlight boy has changed (Schierke notes a change of od between the two encounters). If you examine how he might have changed (done in one of the articles I linked above), it seems like as if he is resuming his original form. Is he slowly breaking free from Femto…? Someone activating the behelit might help the moonlight boy break free.

So: Can the Moonlight Boy kill Femto? Perhaps. I mean, I can see him doing it. Will the Moonlight Boy die trying to kill him in an act to save his parents? Yeah, possibly.

The boy attempting to break free or save his parents and dying doing so would be quite a paradox, given Femto would likely be the one that is threatening their lives in the first place (directly or indirectly).

[tinyliltina]

Prompt 11:  Heartbeat

I finally did something that isn’t ask related s o b s 

Wrote a story with my Chris and @oliverthesaltyedgelord‘s Kelly in our summoner!verse and had way too much fun doing this worldbuilding-

I promise I’m going to get to asks asap but for right now enjoy my attempt to write something that wasn’t for class oml 

Feedback is??  Super appreciated, likes are great but please remember I can’t get better without input :0

Move, move, just move!  Chris sprinted forwards, her feet slapping against the muddied ground of the riverbank.  She heard a snarl behind her, and convinced herself not to look back.  It wasn’t worth it.  Running was what mattered now, not what she was running from.  Such was the life living in a world where dragons and trolls from other realms frequenced for an easy snack…  All Chris needed to know was there had been teeth and claws, and that justified running.  

Hairs she’d never felt stood on the back of her neck, maybe in their own attempt to flee the monster at her back.  Chris lept over another log, skimming the treeline for a hiding spot.  If she could get get a place to set up a circle-

A roar tore through the sky, ripping at Chris’ eardrums.  Whatever was behind her was close.  Chris’ heart slammed against her chest, reminding her she could only run so fast.  Hiding was the best option.  There!  A tree, just off to her left-it looked big enough to crouch behind.  Chris changed direction, her ankles protesting with the effort as she flew through the undergrowth.  Once she was close enough, Chris dove behind the bark.  Her hands scraped against the earth, but she didn’t care.  

The spell spilled from her lips before Chris could process all the words.  Heat built in her chest, manifesting through her blood, and traveling down her veins.  She felt a pulse against the ground as crimson vines appeared on the ground.  They grew and swiveled around her crouched form, doubling in size as the foreign tongue tumbled from the human.  Trembling, both with the ground and effort of focus, Chris tied up the last of the mantra, spitting out the final line.  

 For a moment, the world stopped.  Chris could feel her heart pulsing beneath her skin, and in the ground, and in the air.  It was loud, and panicked, but it was there.  Alive, steady, hers.  Power cracked beneath her fingers, and the ground shook anew.  Her hair stood on end, brown locks stretching out to the heavens.  

Th-thmp th-thmp th-thmp

The ground began to shake.  Not with the footsteps of her pursuer.

Th-thmp thmp thmp thmp

Earth split beneath the circle, tearing apart as the magic activated.

Thmpthmpthmpthmpthmp

Chris’ circle dissolved, manifesting into a physical form.  It stretched and hissed in the air, shifting into a humanoid shape that dwarfed the tallest trees.  Electricity danced in the air, and the circle singed the ground.  There was a sickening silence, then a loud bang.  Chris’ eyes shot up as the red faded, revealing the form of her guardian.  She had to crane her neck to meet his gaze, and resisted the urge to cower from it.  

Despite the fact her familiar was several yards away from her, he still towered over where she crouched.  Chris sat back, and glanced behind her.  The creature that had been chasing her, a young troll by its expression, was shrinking back.  She couldn’t blame the poor thing when it ran.  Truthfully, she wanted to run too.

“What’d ya call me here for?” Chris’ stomach dropped.  Slowly, she turned towards the hulking man before her.  Kellian looked much more intimidating with his face cast in a shadow.  His eyes gleamed a cornflower blue, and sent cold chills down Chris’ back.  Swallowing, Chris gestured to the direction the troll fled.  

“Ah-I mean, I wanted-...it was a troll, and I couldn’t run, so, um-” she cleared her throat, still struggling to breathe from the run.  “I...called you.”

Kellian was quiet a moment, then grunted.

“Mh.  Well I’m here now, so ya gonna ask me t’do something else fer ye?”

Chris shrugged.  

“Um-...I don’t, I mean other than that-...”  she shifted.  “Could you..stay here a second?  Just, I mean...just so it doesn’t come back?”

He blinked.  For a moment, Chris thought he would say no.  Instead, the giant sighed.  

“Sure.  Kinda have’ta, seein’ yer m’summoner.”  

Guilt welled in Chris’ chest.  As a summoner, she had the ability to force Kellian to do what she wanted.  There were restrictions, of course, but Chris hated the thought of treating any creature like a slave.  

“Would it be okay-I mean,” she rubbed her arm, flustered.  “Could you...hold me a second?  You, I mean, you don’t have to, but-”

Before she could finish her request, Chris felt something warm grasp her waist.  She squeaked, glancing down just as Kellian’s hands gathered her up.  With an unnerving ease, Kellian settled his hands against his chest.  Chris stiffened at the closeness.  He was much warmer than she’d thought, though it was almost relaxing.  Hesitating, then relenting to her craving for closeness, Chris slid closer to Kellian.  Her head settled against his chest.  

Th-thmp.  Th-thmp.  Th-thmp.  

Kellian’s heart rung loud and strong.  Chris closed her eyes, willing her own to mirror his.  For several moments, Chris was silent.  She took in the sounds of him beside her.  His deep, relaxed breaths, the thunder of his heart, all mixing into a relaxing song.  Against her better judgment, Chris leaned further into her familiar.  He was surprisingly soft, despite his hardened personality…  The fact he was being so gentle was enough to set Chris at ease.  

“Kellian?”

“Mh?”  his voice rumbled behind her.  

“Do you...well, do you want to leave?”

He was quiet a moment.  His chest shifted.  “A little, aye...can’t ‘til you say so, s’guess I’m stuck.”  

Chris cringed, ashamed of her own selfishness.  

“I’ll...you can leave in a little bit, I promise-I just…”  She didn’t have an excuse.  That thought made her stomach twist.  There was no reason for her to keep him so close, save her own wants.  Chris curled into herself a tad.  

“Why d’ye keep callin’ me out here?”  Kellian’s voice spoke against her thoughts.  Chris blinked, glancing up.  She peered at the underside of his chin, the only part of his face she could see at her angle.  

“I…”  She cleared her throat.  Was she obligated to tell him the truth?  Lying didn’t seem like much of a choice, especially with such a specific question.  “I guess…”  No, telling the truth was always the better option.  Even if he didn’t like her answer, at least Kellian wouldn’t think her dishonest.  “I don’t really know.  I feel...safer when you’re around.”  Her gaze moved to her hands.  “You’re such a well-known fighter in the monster realm, and, you’re the first monster I summoned...so that means something, I think…”

He scoffed.  “Ye summonin’ me was just bad luck.”  

Chris winced again, glancing at her hands.  He was right, she guessed.  It was bad luck, at least for him…  He was a high tier fighting monster, one of the most requested monster types available.  Neither one of them knew how he’d been summoned to Chris’ circle when she’d been looking for a companion.  

“Why?”  Kellian asked.

“Why....why what?

“Why d’ye keep summonin’ me back?  ‘S clear I’m na’ tha monster ye wanted...s’why keep callin’ me back?”

He wasn’t wrong, Chris supposed.  Really, she wasn’t sure why she summoned him back.  While he was civil enough, Kellian wasn’t open, friendly, or kind.  He was no companion.  Yet, if Chris had to choose between him and another monster, she’d go for Kellian.  

“I dunno.  I guess, really, you’re so big and strong…  I feel safer.”  

“Safer, eh?”

Chris nodded.  Kellian sounded surprised, and Chris couldn’t blame him.  Up front, he was a terrifying looking beast.  Glowering eyes beneath a dark head of hair, and skin lined with battle scars. Chris was the polar opposite.  A skinny, tiny brunette without a single scratch on her.  He was abrasive, she was gentle.  

“Safer...yeah,”  Chris shrugged.  She settled against Kellian once again, and stared at his fingers.  “You’re...I dunno.  You’re tough, but you aren’t mean. Even if you’re a little...snappy, I mean, you’ve always been gentle with me.”

“Kinda have t’be gentle with ye, considerin’ our contract…”  he muttered.  “But...I dunno.  M’assistant says I can’t fight forever, n’I guess he’s right.”  

“I think your assistant is a wise person,” she agreed.  “And maybe...who knows?  One day, hopefully, you’ll like hanging out...I mean, maybe you’ll…”  She looked down.  “Well, forget it.  As long as you don’t mind coming back, I mean…  Maybe this isn’t so bad?”

“Maybe,” he mused.  

Sighing, Chris leaned against Kellian’s chest.  His heartbeat resumed its powerful rhythm, a reminder of his presence.  In it, Chris found a strange sense of comfort.  She didn’t feel so lonely, even while knowing they weren’t close.  Before she knew it, the exhaustion of the day consumed her.  Her head nodded once, twice, then went slack.  

---

Chris had been quiet for a while now.  Unusual.  Normally the runt was chatty, to the point it was almost annoying.  Kellian frowned, sparing a glance to the human in his hand.  Ah, she was asleep.  That made sense.  Waking her up was an option, but it didn’t feel fair.  Kellian knew if she attempted doing such a thing he would lash out.  For now, he guessed, he’d let her sleep.  

He couldn’t deny his surprise at how quickly the lass had grown to trust him.  They came from two different worlds, yes, and Kellian had been raised differently.  But falling asleep on someone, especially a giant, wasn’t smart.  It was more surprising considering he’d never shown much interest in the young mage.  Still, there she was.  Fast asleep, sitting straight up, as if his hand were a couch.  

Kellian’s lip twitched.  A ghost of a smirk took over his features.  Fighting monster paired with a lonely mage.  The idea sounded so ridiculous, he couldn’t help but chuckle.  Kellian had the blood of dozens, if not hundreds, on his hands.  This tiny human, who could use him to fight like the others, saw that as comforting.  Him as comforting.  Or, maybe she tried not to see it.  With Chris, he could never be sure.

His eyes trailed the skyline.  It was still plenty bright out, and his next fight wasn’t scheduled for a few days.  For now, holding Chris wasn’t so bad.  Hell, maybe he was coming to enjoy her company.  Though he hated to, he was starting to like not seeing fear in her eyes when he came around.  The expression of relief on her face when she saw him appear…  Kellian chuckled.  Hell, he was going soft.  

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|

Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:

Rose, puns.  Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too.  :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her??????  D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.

Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

[natalia-km]

Firstly congrats on your fantastic gcse results you should be really proud 😄🙌🏽 As I'm sitting my exams the coming year ( 😭 ) just wanted to ask if you have revision tips for me in regards to the main subjects ( i.e. Maths, English etc ) Please and thank you 😊

Thank you so much!

I’m more than happy to give any advice any time :)

This post is very long so I’m sorry lol. If you can’y read the whole thing I also did a summary at the end. 

Maths:

 Repetition is key, start by doing some past papers given to you by your school and get used to doing three 1 ½ hour papers. Identify your weaknesses and keep practicing. Keep practicing past papers and problem solving booklets you can find online as the new types of questions are heavily based on problem solving and combining units e.g. algebra with graphs. For revision I went through my past papers and looked at the questions I got wrong and what I didn’t understand. Honestly just doing past papers in maths after learning all the units is the best way to revise. I did past papers really from the start of year 11 all the way to the exam.

Some useful websites that I used (I just wrote out the questions you do not need to print everything) 

http://justmaths.co.uk/2015/12/21/9-1-exam-questions-by-topic-higher-tier/

http://www.mathsmadeeasy.co.uk/gcsemathspapers-9-1.htm

Some content on different exam boards may vary but maths is maths and virtually the same on all exam boards. I sat Edexcel and my school offered these books that come in three. I really recommend these as say, for example, pg 51 on inverse functions in the revision books matches pg 51 in the work book. When we had spare time in class or have a spare 10 minutes it is really helpful to complete a page of fractions or something. There is also a book called past papers plus with exam questions in the exam format (if that makes any sense lol) Which is what I used the most. My copy had loads of mistakes but if you buy a new one I think it will be fixed (haha get your act together edexcel) 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/REVISE-Edexcel-Mathematics-Higher-Revision/dp/1447988094

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Revise-Edexcel-Mathematics-Revision-Workbook/dp/1292210885/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=KS8EGP0PE8821S279NYQ

https://www.amazon.co.uk/REVISE-Edexcel-Mathematics-Higher-Practice/dp/1292096314/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=H1KM6NPHSEEMHT303AVW

If you are aiming for 7/8/9 a really useful site is churchill maths, your school has to be registered and pay a license or something, which my school was, and you can access so many maths papers. I think there are 9 sets of three papers or more. They are really hard and take a while to get on their level as they have multi step problems and problem solving. These are really good as they start at the difficulty of the middle of the regular paper and go up. This is really helpful for the exam as the easy questions will seem really easy and the hard questions will not feel so bad.

When you practice every question write down the equation(s) you are going to use. You do not get a formulae sheet so you just have to learn them off by heart. Every question I did in class and homework I wrote down the relevant formulae and them slotted in the numbers and etc etc etc. By the time of the exam you’ll look at a trig question and know the cosine rule off by heart and it will make your life so much easier.

English lit.

 oh the bane of my life. I have seen each exam vary from exam board to exam board and it does vary with different books you have been given. I studied Great expectations, Macbeth, Blood brothers and conflict anthology on Edexcel, the papers will be different on AQA and OCR and if you study different texts.

A major revision tip is to read the text properly before you start studying it in class. Then I would re read it but only skim through it and properly read the main chapters that have a very important scene at around christmas time and leading up to the exams.

LEARN YOUR QUOTES. Flash cards are great, I categorised quotes by character and theme and just wrote them over and over (but that style works for me and may not work for you). ½/3 word sentences are easy to remember and are concise to slot in where you can. e.g. Macbeth is referred to as a “tyrant”. easy one word quote that you can develop.

For english the time restrictions are ridiculous. Omg it was literal hell. When you do homework like write an essay on the significance of the witches in Macbeth look at the timings you have and try doing the essay in the time. 

And to save your should learn the timings per question it will honestly save you from spending so much time on one essay and leaving none for the next questions. 

In the exam I was quite sneaky and drew the timings on my watch so I could see when I had to change question which was a life saver *prayer hands emojis*

Instead of kind of learning the whole text sub categorise the information in the questions (I know I didn’t explain that well but hear me out). For example in for Macbeth my essay question was the significance of the witches, and in Great expectations it was the importance of location. What I did was categorise Character, Theme and setting. 

I didn’t revise setting and it came up so don’t skip it. Depending on the question it will require 4 or 5 paragraphs so learn 4-5 points for each theme and character. When revising just learn a one sentence point that you can quickly recall and develop in the exam. Flash cards are reallyyyy useful in this. I used mine literally in the car going to school on the exam day.

e.g. The significance of Ambition in Macbeth.

1. Lady Macbeth’s Ambition is the driving force to kill duncan

2. Macbeth realises that ambition is futile without an heir so it leads him to murder Banquo

3. leads Lady Macbeth to her downfall

4. Macbeth murdering Macduff’s family is his ambition to kill Macduff and restore peace. 

These are very short points which can be expanded upon. :)

For the poetry there’s 15 poems. Don’t bother learning 15 I learnt 5 and got by. It is impossible to learn all 15 but read and analyse all of them in class so you get a good general idea of what they are all about and how they use structure and punctuation etc. I linked them together by theme e.g. No problem, half cast and class game all go together. In your categories learn one or two that can be compared to anything. I learnt no problem, belfast confetti, cousin kate, exposure, charge of the light brigade and what were they like. If you’re not doing this exam board or anthology collection these titles may not mean anything to you but you get the jist of it. 

For each learn the structure, rhyme scheme, imagery and punctuation so in the exam you can recall the poem you select to compare to and the main points. 

Finally for english literature learn for each essay question what is needed, some will need context (19th century fiction doesn’t) some want writer’s intention and effect on reader. but putting in context where you can will not hurt.

English language:

I found this really hard so I’m not really an expert as such. For revision learn how many paragraphs are needed for each question and practice with time limits. Practice highlighting text and picking out key information and language, structure and form. Remember to comment on all three of language structure and form for the relevant questions. I think it is really useful to read chapters of 19th century fiction to get used to the language as it’s in paper one. Honestly reading one or two chapters of a the sign of four, pride and prejudice, the woman in black or anything you can find is really helpful. 

Paper 2 i think is non-fiction, you can’t really prepare for the texts but practice planning the question is the best revision for this paper. For the long comparison question practice finding similarities and differences in language structure and theme. I did this over and over again for different combination of texts. 

For imaginative writing just practice writing an opening, one paragraph and an ending for different questions (I got examples from my teacher like write about a time you ere scared or write about a time you had to work hard for something) Learn a few really good vocal to slot in here and there but not too much so you sound like a dictionary. My favourite was Megalomaniac and I kid you not I used it in every possible place I could. 

Science (?) 

I was still on the old system and I’m not sure if it is changing for your year? Free science lessons on youtube was basically my saviour and past papers are your best friend. For biology it is just repetition of vocab and systems, I used a lot of acronyms and silly little jokes here and there. For chemistry keep practicing the maths part because that is where a lot of marks can be gained e.g. calculating moles and titration. For physics I just practiced lots of maths questions? I didn’t do too well in physics but *shrugs*

How I worked is I wrote up the lesson neatly the day after the class, before a test I would review it and during revision I condensed the information onto ¼ of an A4 page (I didn’t find flash cards big enough and hard to draw diagrams and stuff) and repeated condensing of information so it got to a pint where each type of cell had their own ¼ A4 page for themselves.

In summary:

Maths: Repetition, repetition, repetition. Write out equations for absolutely every single question you do. Past papers/specimen papers/9-1 hard questions booklets you can find online.

English lit: Learn how many points per question, examiners love a good introduction and conclusion (2 sentences will do fine) but it’s not the end of the world. Flash cards for each theme, setting and character. Learn the key context, structure and imagery of a handful of poems that can be compared to a number of different poems. Quotes, Quotes, Quotes. Shove them in where you can. One or two words quotes are ideal as you an easily embed them.

English Language: practice planning your essay answers for the longer questions (spend no longer than 3 minutes doing this) when annotating extracts don’t write out full ideas or sentences of the extract it wastes time and that sheet is not marked. Just write down a few words for a point you can use. Imaginative writing plan your answer for no longer than 5 minutes, remember to use punctuation, varied sentence length, vary sentence starters and do not be cliché e.g. and it was all a dream *pukes*. 

Science: Write down every formula you use for every calculation question e.g. moles=mass/RFM, Moles=volume x concentration in chemistry. practice past paper questions. LEARN UNITS THEY CAN GAIN A MARK. e.g. J or Hz. Acronyms are a life saver for remembering complex systems like the kidneys in biology. Silly little things help too. e.g. remembering the blood vessels in the heart I think VAVAVA  (Vena cava, right Atrium, right Ventricle, pulmonary Artery, pulmonary Vein and Aorta.) 

General: Find a system that works, for me it is just writing things over and over again. You may find the leitner system useful (link below) or mind maps. Find what works for you and don’t listen to a teacher telling you to do revision a certain way because “variation helps” which is a complete lie. Just find what works for you. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C20EvKtdJwQ

Also prioritise, subjects you do value as much can wait a day, for me German was not as important as maths so i spent more time on maths than german (as an example) but don’t completely abandon a subject because you will get stressed.

I hope this was of some use to you and maybe you can pick out a few things to help you revise. This year will be tiring but it will pay off on results day, trust me. My main tip is to just keep on top of work and get things done asap. Good luck with your exams this coming year I believe in you! 

- Natalia x

[junker-town]

3 ways the Patriots can at least try to replace the irreplaceable Rob Gronkowski

New England has to find a way to make Gronkowski’s departure hurt as little as possible.

Rob Gronkowski called it a career Sunday. And now the Patriots are in trouble.

Losing Gronkowski is the biggest blow 2019’s dealt to an already weak New England receiving corps. Only three wide receivers or tight ends who caught a pass last fall are set to return for the upcoming season — Julian Edelman, Phillip Dorsett, and little-used tight end Jacob Hollister. Without Gronk on board to give Tom Brady gaping windows to throw the ball downfield, all three will see more defensive attention than ever.

Replacing him won’t be easy, or maybe even possible. Even in a diminished state he remained a singular force who could take over games like no other player could.

Gronk’s last 3 seasons averaged: - 10.4 YPA - 61% success rate - 113 passer rtg Those rank #1, #2 & #2 best in the NFL for any player with at least 225 targets the last 3 years. 11.2 YPA on 3rd down target, best in NFL. Mismatch nightmare. Absolute Stud. Gone far too soon.

— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) March 24, 2019

That leaves head coach Bill Belichick with an unenviable task. New England has already been proactive on the free agent market in an extremely New England way. The Patriots re-signed useful wideout Dorsett (73.3 percent catch rate, 11 yards per reception with Brady) to a one-year deal. They also added Matt LaCosse, Bruce Ellington, and Maurice Harris to the lineup. The four of them combined for 115 catches last season, so a couple of them are either going to have to make an unexpected leap or Brady is going to need some more help.

Unfortunately, this year’s thin free agent receiving corps has been picked over. Adam Humphries was a top target, but New England’s hesitance in contract talks allowed him to sign with the Titans instead. Golden Tate is a Giant. Jared Cook, the best available veteran tight end, flirted with the Patriots before signing with the Saints for more money.

So who is left to fill some of the biggest shoes in the league? There are three avenues the Pats can take — and they’ll need help at both tight and and wide receiver to do so.

No. 1: Draft targets

Noah Fant and T.J. Hockenson, Iowa

By most accounts, including SB Nation’s own Dan Kadar, Fant and Hockenson will be the first two tight ends off the board. It’s easy to see why. The Hawkeye duo combined upper-tier blocking, elite athleticism (especially in Fant’s case), and proven production in the passing game. They finished first and second in receiving yards for Iowa in 2018, combining for 88 catches, 1,279 receiving yards, and 13 touchdowns.

They also come from a program Belichick has skimmed from in the past. His relationship with Hawkeyes head coach Kirk Ferentz has helped push graduates like Cole Croston, Riley McCarron, and Ferentz’s son James to the New England roster in recent years.

The Patriots’ problem this spring may be that both they and Iowa’s tight ends were too good this past season. Neither player is expected to last until New England’s selection at No. 32 in the first round. The Pats can change all that by dipping into a vast resource of assets — they have 12 picks in April, more than any other team, including six of the top 101 — and trading up if they’re truly sold on Fant or Hockenson. If either one slides to the end of the first round, it seems a safe bet they’ll be on their way to Foxborough; the two Hawkeyes are the top two most popular mock draft picks for New England this year.

Irv Smith Jr., Alabama

The Crimson Tide product comes from another pipeline to which Belichick has long turned — though it’s not as though picking a player from Nick Saban’s assembly line in Tuscaloosa is an especially rare or special thing. Smith is following O.J. Howard’s lead into the NFL as an uber-athletic Alabama tight end with first-round aspirations. With a 4.6-second 40-yard dash time and upper-level performances on the bench and in the 20-yard shuttle at the NFL Combine, he’s got the power and athleticism to shine at the next level.

But Smith is no sure thing. He’s only got one season as a full-time starter under his belt in college, and while he put up solid numbers (44 catches, 710 yards, 7 TDs), that may have been a function of a Tua Tagovailoa aerial attack that made every member of the Bama offense look immortal at times.

Still, he’s got NFL bloodlines (his dad played tight end for the Saints and was seemingly inserted into every pack of Upper Deck cards I bought from 1993 to 1997) and is interested in a move to the Northeast:

https://t.co/tbeiutM2nL

— Irvin Smith Jr. (@swervinirvin_) March 24, 2019

But he could also be gone by pick 32 — Kadar’s latest mock draft has him getting snapped him by the target-needy Packers at No. 30. If that’s the case, Day 2 candidates like Texas A&M’s Jace Sternberger or Stanford’s Kaden Smith could be in play.

Terry McLaurin and Parris Campbell, Ohio State

McLaurin and Campbell have each seen their stock rise in the pre-draft process, turning in eye-catching workout numbers after excellent 2018 seasons with the Buckeyes. Campbell led the team with 90 catches for 1,063 yards and 12 touchdowns before showing out with a 4.31-second 40 time at the combine (tied for the top mark among receivers) and pulling off top-five showings in the long and broad jumps.

McLaurin averaged an absurd 20 yards per catch as a senior and turned heads both at the Senior Bowl and in his pro day workout. He’s gone from a potential late-round steal to possible early Day 2 pick — and the Patriots have six selections to work with those days.

Other early wideout picks who could be in play with New England’s first two selections of this year’s draft include Riley Ridley, N’Keal Harry, Deebo Samuel, and A.J. Brown. But if Belichick spurns the opportunity to make a Day 2 wideout his Waterloo once more, there are a few other less hyped prospects who could fit his needs.

Andy Isabella, Massachusetts, and Hunter Renfrow, Clemson

Scrappy undersized wideouts who were lightly regarded as recruits and still face major questions as they transition to the NFL despite prolific college football careers? That would never work in New England.

If the Patriots are looking for wideout prospects deeper in the the draft, they’ll have their choice of extremely Patriot-looking players. Isabella showed off his burner bonafides with a 4.31 40 at the combine, and waiting long into Day 2 could mean waiting too long on a player who was prolific at UMass — he had 102 catches and 1,698 yards last season. Renfrow wasn’t as impressive, but his history of showing up in big games means his name has been circled in Belichick’s day planner since January 2017.

Also up for inclusion here is West Virginia touchdown machine David Sills V, who would be the latest quarterback-turned-wideout to join the Patriots’ receiving corps.

No. 2: Trade targets

Here’s the toughest part to predict. Belichick’s lack of success drafting a wide receiver has been balanced out by his ability to add impact targets in various different swaps. Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and Brandin Cooks all came to New England via trade.

Gronkowski’s retirement opens up the cap space to add an impact veteran this offseason. If Belichick decides to pull the trigger, here are some names who could be logical fits.

Mohamed Sanu, WR, Falcons

Sanu has long been one of the best supporting-cast wide receivers in the NFL — a player who provides a valuable second option, occasional deep threat, and reliable hands on third down. He’s also set to cost the Falcons $7.6 million this fall, which could be an untenable number for a team with only an estimated $4.7 million of cap space in 2019. Trading away Sanu, whose value is mitigated by the presence of Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley atop the Atlanta depth chart, would create both immediate and long-term savings thanks to the rookie contract of the player eventually drafted by the Falcons with whichever picks the Pats send south.

The move would give Brady another reliable veteran wideout atop his receiving depth chart and Belichick another Rutgers product he so values. The Edelman-Sanu combination might give New England the league’s top pair of pass-throwing wideouts, too.

John Ross, WR, Bengals

It was only two years ago the draft world was in love with Ross, whose record-setting 4.22-second 40-yard dash prompted Cincinnati to ignore concerns about his college production and consistency and make him the No. 9 pick of the 2017 NFL Draft. In two years as a pro he’s caught just 35 percent of his targets, making 21 receptions on 60 passes thrown his way and generally serving as an idle deep threat in southwestern Ohio.

That lack of impact has reportedly put him on the trading block in Cincinnati, but he could regain his value playing in a more stable passing environment with the Patriots. His ability to stretch the field could create space for Edelman and whomever else winds up on the WR/TE depth chart on intermediate routes, similar to how Josh Gordon’s presence softened up defenses even when he wasn’t a target. Of course, Ross will have to prove himself repeatedly just to earn a whiff of the respect even an inconsistent Gordon got in 2018, but it’s not a massive stretch to see how he could fit in the New England offense.

Nelson Agholor, WR, Eagles

Like Sanu, Agholor is an expensive player on a team strapped for cap space. The fifth-year option on his rookie contract is set to pay him more than $9 million in 2019. Unlike Sanu, Agholor has yet to be a consistent receiving threat — though his 2017 breakout prevented him from becoming a first-round bust. He’s recorded 126 catches, 1,504 yards, and 12 touchdowns over the past two seasons to emerge as a versatile deep threat.

The Eagles have shed enough salary to afford Agholor’s expensive fifth year, but keeping him is no longer a top priority after the trade that reunited DeSean Jackson and the City of Brotherly Love earlier this offseason. Philadelphia could ship him off in 2019 rather than let him leave with no return other than a potential compensatory 2021 draft pick next winter. It’s not like these two teams are opposed to doing business, either — general manager Howie Roseman already took New England’s fifth-round pick in the Michael Bennett trade earlier this year.

Cameron Brate, TE, Buccaneers

Tampa Bay signed Brate to a six-year, $40.8 million contract extension last March — a kinda strange twist after drafting Alabama tight end Howard less than a year earlier. While the Bucs’ plan may have been to play the two together as dual-threats like New England had with Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez, Brate has mostly been shunted to a supporting role. He had just 30 catches and 289 yards — although with six touchdowns — while making only two starts in 2018.

New head coach Bruce Arians may have more involved plans for Brate, or he may want a fresh start and some extra cap space currently tied up over the final five years and $33.8 million on the Harvard product’s deal. Brate isn’t a Gronkowski replacement up the seam, but he’s a valuable red zone target with 20 touchdowns over the past three seasons — nearly 15 percent of his catches. The Buccaneers backup fills a need in New England. The question is whether Arians is interested in parting with him.

Free agent help lightning round

The Patriots have roughly $17 million left to spend this spring, but few big-name targets available to spend that money on. The tight end market is relatively barren, with decent, unexciting pieces (Dion Sims, Lance Kendricks), former second-round picks who never lived up to the hype (Austin Seferian-Jenkins, Maxx Williams), and guys who were once Patriots (Matt Lengel, A.J. Derby) shrugging their way across a shallow pool of talent.

There are a few more interesting names at wideout, though New England’s recent efforts to bring less-wanted veteran help backfired horribly when Eric Decker, Jordan Matthews, and Kenny Britt were all released before the 2018 season began. The team’s effort to bring young reclamation projects into the fold didn’t pan out either, with Corey Coleman and Amara Darboh each earning their releases before playing a single game with the team.

That makes it easy to understand why Belichick would be reticent to dive into a receiver market filled with well-known but flawed names. Demaryius Thomas’ level of play dropped significantly in 2018 before he tore his Achilles. Pierre Garcon will be 33 this year and missed 16 total games over the last two seasons. Ryan Grant had the opportunity to play with Andrew Luck and allow T.Y. Hilton to relieve some of the defensive pressure he faced, but he failed to match his solid 2017 campaign in Washington.

Jermaine Kearse is coming off his worst non-rookie season as a pro. Jordy Nelson finished 2018 on a high note (38 catches, 386 yards in his final five games), but is also going to be 34 in 2019. Kelvin Benjamin has the strongest combination of talent and youth of anyone on this list. He’s also seems like the kind of guy Belichick would cut after two practices.

#Bills Josh Allen just asked Kelvin Benjamin if he wanted to work on routes pregame during warm ups. Kelvin’s answer: No

— Jenna Cottrell (@JennaCottrell) October 14, 2018

Bringing back Chris Hogan would help, though he’s still trying to find a way to recapture his deep threat magic from 2016 and was rendered entirely anonymous in multiple games last fall. Other familiar faces like Brandon LaFell and Michael Floyd could also wind up back on the team’s list. No matter who the club picks at this stage, it appears diving into free agency is the least exciting option for the Patriots.

Losing Gronkowski doesn’t just leave a hole in New England’s tight end depth chart. It forces the Patriots to replace the guy who created looser coverage for the rest of his teammates downfield and find a new security blanket for Brady when he needs to pull a game-changing clutch play out of his hat.

While versatile players like James White and Rex Burkhead can take on some of the burden in the passing game and Sony Michel looks like the team’s most potent lead runner since Corey Dillon, there’s plenty of work still to be done — even if Gordon is cleared for a return to the field.

There’s no one solution to this problem. In 2019, the Patriots have three avenues to begin chipping away at the biggest possible non-Belichick, non-Brady loss on the roster. Even if they choose correctly, we may not know until 2020 — or later.

[viewagain]

Oscars 2019

Once again, I have managed to see all the Best Picture winners. Hurray!

Numbered lists are great, but you know whats even better/worse? Tier lists. And not just any tier list, but one with almost as many tiers as listables.

Y-Tier: As in “But Why?”

A Star is Born – The movie is awful for Christ’s sake! Lady Gaga’s ‘acting’, the sappy songs, the unearned melodrama – it’s all bad. Doesn’t anyone notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! If this movie wins Best Picture, I will be irrationally upset. Ok, fine. Bradley Cooper is a great actor. It’s not a huge revelation, but seeing him act circles around Lady Gaga and her soulless, lifeless eyes just made it so much more apparent. Walk the Line is such a better “musician-love-story-where-the-dude-has-a-substance-abuse-problem” movie. And that was based on real people. This movie was fiction, they could’ve chosen to do literally anything plotwise and yet it is an hour until something actually happens.

M-Tier: Mediocre

Bohemian Rhapsody – A contradiction of a movie. Is it about Freddie Mercury (which is 95% of the marketing) or Queen, the band as a whole? If the former, then why do you skim over so much of his life and never go in depth enough? If the latter, then why is Freddie the only band member who has his personal life shown? It is a series of events and songs in the band’s history yet changes a lot of facts. Ok, so if it is not trying to be a serious, accurate depiction, then it’s just a nostalgia trip that doesn’t actually use Freddie’s iconic voice … Man, Walk the Line is such a great movie.

Green Book – It’s supposed to be a comedy, right? I suppose Viggo Mortenson’s parody of a New Yorker stereotype was somewhat amusing, but there wasn’t much else to laugh at/with. Also, it is a bit insensitive to make a movie where race, a very loaded topic, is such a prominent aspect of the plot, yet approach it in such a simplistic, childish manner.

B-Tier: Movies about black people that were mostly good, though still not quite Best Picture Winner material. My most specific category.

NB! It would have been nice if Green Book was less bad so it could fit in this category too. Oh well, fuhgeeeettaboutit.

Black Panther – A lot of people are up in arms with this, a Marvel superhero movie, being nominated for Best Picture. Those who are upset by it, I say that Avatar was nominated for Best Picture and this is much better. And it is a culturally impactful film in the US. To those saying it should win as well, I say. No. It’s good, but it’s not that good. Though compared to other Marvel movies with paper-thin villains and plots, it might seem like a mastapiece.

BlacKkKlansman – It’s a Spike Lee film. It’s about race and gets preachy (though not too much). Some of the evil racists might seem cartoonish strawmen, but then the movie shows real footage of Charlottesville and you’re like ‘Oh yeah, people like that exist’. Funny and sad at the same time. I wouldn’t mind if it won.

A-Tier: Acceptable

Vice - Like The Big Short before it, this takes a topic that otherwise would be dry and stuffy to many and spices it up with 4th wall breaks and metahumor. It is entertaining which is more than could be said by some of the other nominees. Dick Cheney sure was a dick and he did do plenty of horrible things. The movie doesn’t skip over them, but with the generally lighthearted tone overall, it does end up underplaying the more serious aspects. Is an incompetent person in power worse than a competent, malicious ruler? 

Roma - The artsy-fartsy movie of the bunch. It’s a black and white mood piece with subtitles. That’s about as artsy as a fartsy gets.

S-Tier: The Highest Tier

The Favourite – My favorite movie of the bunch and it isn’t particularly close. This movie has everything: men in powdered wigs racing ducks and Emma Stone performing cunnilingus on a manic gout-ridden Queen. Enough said.

__________

Overall, a pretty disappointing list by the Academy. But awards are overrated anyway. It would be nice if one of the top-tier movies won, but if I won’t be too bummed. The best movie of the year, Annihilation, wasn’t even nominated, so what does it matter? No, I don’t need my opinions validated. I like having my opinions validated, I enjoy having my opinions validated. I have to have my opinions validated. But it’s not, like, this compulsive need.

[allianceinternational-blog]

Marketing Recruitment Agencies - Work On Dedicated Websites From Home Marketing Small Businesses

By : Yogita Yadav

Image Source :

This is part one in a three-part series in which we discuss what you can expect from digital recruitment marketing in the new year.

Video Source :

How to Get a Marketing Job After College

  Top Marketing Agencies - Delaware Advertising And Marketing Company: Facebook And Twitter Marketing

 The location part of advertising on craigslist is tracking. Several to track your results, this is not an choice, it is vital. This is pivotal an individual need to become familiar with where your traffic is streaming from, what ads are having the most clicks, which is actually getting the opt-ins, sign ups etc. You have to to consistantly track and log data and in order to improve upon the ads to increase sign united parcel service.

 Then tend to be marketing operators. In this, perhaps the most commonly referred to of marketing recruitment, you is actually in charge of all activities and decisions in the marketing department of a service provider Affordable Marketing Staffing Agencies. You would be required to communicate, organize, analyze, and manage all at an identical time. Plus you could well ultimately to blame for the because they came from work for you. You are, after all, their ceo. This job role demands regarding experience in all forms of marketing roles. Typically you enjoy be promoted up the ranks involving most other job roles to obtain here.

 You may chance to make it worse even more if software you have joined can be a two-tier program. Under this program, you do not only make money by making sales, in addition by referring people to join as new affiliate marketers.

 Fact is, no matter method or route a lecturer chooses, need a motor. Without the car, there'd be no driving class. The cost of a car, specially adapted for driving tuition purposes, could range from as low as 3,500 on your four year old car up to 35,000 in case the instructor so desires. Normal driving instructor vehicle for decent tuition in 2013 costs almost of 6,000 before setting up dual controls, which could be fitted for 250. What is going on just the car. As every one of us know, dependent of a replacement car has risen since then, dramatically. The cheapest new car a driving instructor could have purchased in March 2009 was 4250, and the most expensive was 15,345. Figures from ADI Chat. Average cost of buying a driving tuition vehicle was 10,500.

 Voila! A message told him about marketing and advertising position by using a company. The duty was "junior" to him, i.e. lower level responsibilities, pay and much more. But he told his contact what he was good doing and asked they will needed assistance with that town. Soon he was meeting the particular CEO and was rented.

 For ADIs, a cheap driving lesson is that which allows the objective learner fund the services rendered at an economical price leaving the driving instructor enough to create a decent the way of life. The driving instructor knows the value of the services he/she can give and would want to make a very good wage or income after deducting all expenses. Couple of driving instructors are not keen to explain these pair of learner programs. The objectives of a driving lesson seems lost on the learners.

 A large amount of sales marketing is carried up with the aid of the internet. It is a commodity which serves us just like a marketplace. Firms promote their items and services on sites. They have an aggressive strategy that they follow. They sell their products for the customers. The moment the products and services are over they are just like more related to the product or investing in. As a sales marketing person, you donrrrt want to develop a very an perspective. You must give them the after sales service these people deserve. Otherwise they won't visit you again.

 We understandthat consistent action is had to have to make our businesses establish. This includes lead generation, prospecting, closing and training. Yes many of the tasks can be automated in order to time and also but designed to raise have to be able to completed.

 Online job search internet marketing program is a great way to land your next full time job. Lucrative many jobs out there, but no job beats an cyberspace marketing job especially. Who aspires to be stuck building 9-5 job, traveling higher 3 hours a day, and paying outrageous gas prices? Home internet work is on an upswing especially from fuel fees. Fuel is rising and pretty soon you seem looking at exceeding 4 bucks a quart! Can you say R-E-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. Jobs on the internet are amazing, especially affiliate marketing jobs.

 Orwell would like gotten the timing wrong, but he was accurate when it came into the concept. But, while George Orwell thought it is definitely government watching, it's actually Big Concern.

 Mathematically speaking, the simple, more an instructor teaches the best way to drive, the more profit he/she is likely to make. While ADIs may possibly want to charge planet earth for driving lessons, perform need help make that living criterion for their chosen careers. It pays them to charge more.

 Finding internet marketing recruitment isn't a difficult technique. All you require to do through using make some investigation on several of the best online options. You may use some of the very and speedy search engines for this purpose.

 Considering 60% of marketing freelancers who took the survey work countless hours as their permanent counterparts, it can be time to put together a little pleasure trip! It's legally yours - an individual also deserve one.

 In indisputable fact that is the actual Internet gurus skim off millions of dollars need to from those looking for online give good results. Gurus are Internet marketers. They tend to be your competitors if shifting to join that careers.

 Address :B-707 MONDEAL SQUARE 

Sarkhej – Gandhinagar Hwy, 

Prahlad Nagar, 

Ahmedabad, 

Gujarat 380015

Mobile no.:-+91 9898434323

For More Information: https://www.allianceinternational.co.in

[entergamingxp]

Having the Yakuza Saga on One Console is the Best Thing to Happen This Generation

February 21, 2020 4:15 PM EST

With the release of the Yakuza 5 remaster, the entire story of Kazamu Kiryu is finally available on one console generation. You should really play it.

I can weirdly remember the first time I heard about Yakuza. I was at Wal-Mart, waiting for my mom to finish grocery shopping. Our ongoing deal was that if I went to the store with her and carried her groceries, she would buy me a magazine. So, I was flicking through the latest issue of EGM trying to decide if I wanted to see more. Inside, I quickly skimmed the review for a Grand Theft Auto-like action-adventure set in the grimy Japanese underworld. Had this been 2005, I probably would’ve immediately gone and picked it up. However, it was 2006. I had an Xbox 360 now. I wasn’t about to drag out my PS2 to play a game my favorite gaming mag had ranked in the high 70’s.

And so began a decade of admiring the Yakuza series from afar. Every time I saw a new game in a magazine or on a site, I thought they looked right up my alley. Unfortunately, I never had access to a PS3.  That meant I never had an opportunity to play one of Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio’s masterpieces. In January of 2017, that all changed.

Obviously, I didn’t choose to buy a PS4 over an Xbox One because of Yakuza. It had much more to do with Microsoft’s botched announcements around the reveal. Plus, I was just generally being more impressed with Sony’s first-party lineup in the first few years. However, I’ll admit seeing the Yakuza 0 trailer at TGS 2014 made me weak at the knees.

A series that I had long watched from afar, hoping to one day play, was getting a prequel story on PS4? It seemed like a perfect jumping-on point. And, with most of the series available on PS Now, it seemed like I might finally be able to play them all. Little did I know that about three years after Yakuza 0 finally released in the West, we’d have the entire series available on PS4. And, on top of that, Yakuza 1 and 2 are fully remade.  And, of course, 3, 4, and 5 have been hit with excellent remasters.

It feels like a rarity to have an entire series this big readily available on one console. I mean, obviously, we’re going to get collections of hit series like Halo and Uncharted but Yakuza? That franchise is nowhere near those series in terms of lifetime sales. What’s even cooler is that it feels like Sega only put all of the games out on PS4 in the West because of how huge the fan reaction was.

Because of all that, you can now play through the entire mainline Yakuza series all on one console. No more dragging out a PS3 to play the first two games. No more relying on PS Now and your internet to work well enough to play 3, 4, and 5. You can experience the entirety of the beautiful, wacky, glorious life that Kazuma Kiryu has led for the past 15 years.

Here’s the best part: Yakuza is good. Like really, really good. Like Game of the Year good. The brawling gameplay is deep and engaging on higher difficulties. The way it mixes wacky comedic substories with an incredibly well-written and mature main narrative is better than anything else on the market.

Just look at the series Yakuza was inspired by. Grand Theft Auto does an excellent job of lampooning America. The satire might be a little tired by the time GTAV rolled around, but it’s hard to deny how good Rockstar has gotten at making that type of game. But when is the last time you really cared about a Grand Theft Auto character? And how many side characters are truly memorable in that series?

Yakuza puts so much heart into each and every aspect of the game. Side characters that only show up for a quest or two will stick with you long after they’ve walked out of Kiryu’s life. And don’t even get me started on the main characters. Ryu Ga Gotuku does character development better than almost anybody. Seeing Kiryu and his crew of misfits grow over seven games is one of my absolute favorite gaming memories.

So, yes, I’ve just spent 700-some words telling you how great Yakuza is and that you really should play at least one of the games. However, you can’t understate how awesome it is that Sega has even made this possible. Imagine another long-running, upper mid-tier game series being fully available on one console. Think of the scenes we’d be having in the streets if Atlus put all the Persona games on PS4. What about if the Saints Row series got a string of remasters to get all their games available on modern consoles? Or if we somehow got the entire Backyard Sports collection re-released on PC. Maybe I’d be the only person hyped by that last announcement.

These kinds of things just don’t happen that often. If you haven’t played a Yakuza game yet, Yakuza 0 regularly goes on sale for $10 or less. Of course, it’s more than worth the full price, but it’s hard to beat that. The first three games are also making their way to Xbox Game Pass this year. Bringing that entry point even lower. There simply hasn’t been a better time to get into one of the greatest and most overlooked video game series of all time.

February 21, 2020 4:15 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/02/having-the-yakuza-saga-on-one-console-is-the-best-thing-to-happen-this-generation/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=having-the-yakuza-saga-on-one-console-is-the-best-thing-to-happen-this-generation