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bigmomma25 · 2 months ago

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Character Analysis of Pete Dinunzio (Comic Vs. Pilot)

Disclaimer: This is by no means a very good or professional analysis or anything, this is just me whipping out my Honors English high school powers for fun, to put these guys in a jar and shake them. Getting as much content out of this comic as possible even if it means yapping. Pete goes first because he's easy, lol

The Comics Highlight His Flaws

The first difference I noted when watching the pilot first and then delving into the comics is; Pete is aggressive. Much more aggressive. He's the most argumentative member in the first few panels, with most of his comments being rather pessimistic or sexual in nature. He always has some sort of retort or comeback to defend himself and his views, and his passions come out mostly in anger.

There's also a silent shame that comes with his behaviors, much more likely to complain about what he doesn't like than happily explain what he's passionate about. When he does have passionate moments, it's because these things that make him very vulnerable are being criticized, and he gets defensive. Like his love for Christopher Lee.

Without any prior knowledge of these characters, it can be assumed that Pete comes from an abusive household. His behaviors are major signs. He's most likely so combative because he's used to constantly being under fire, especially with (I think) 8 other siblings who are implied to be mostly older men. If he didn't have a slick comment or keep up this "tough" persona, he'd be their personal punching bag - figuratively and literally.

All Pete really knows is aggression, being canonically the poorest member (he states that he couldn't even afford to be in the Boba Fett conversation in the comics). It's been shown that the club lives in a shitty area in Staten Island. Plus, they're heavily bullied. It's shaped the way he communicates and interacts with the world around him. Even his obsessions - he likes seeing people get ripped apart to the point it becomes a kink.

Even the way he speaks sets him apart. Not necessarily his accent, but his word choices are usually much simpler and his points are very blunt. He's not portrayed as booksmart, and his swagger comes off more as a performance (both of masculinity and of nonchalance) than a natural way of being.

It's also worth noting his position in the very first panel of the comics. Bill is head of the table, of course, it's his house and he's the leader. (I'll get to that symbolism in Bill's analysis). But Pete is sat right next to him, lower than Bill and somewhat distant from him, but still seeming closer and getting more focus than Jerry and Josh.

His position is meant to draw your eye from an artistic perspective, he is unconsciously trying to secure himself a good spot for control and stability. If you're on Bill's bad side, you end up like Josh (I'll get into the lolcow-ification of Josh later on too), but Pete gets the least shit from Bill. Pete is not a pushover, and he feeds into Bill more. Their bickering seems almost comedic.

Totally different dynamic than he has in the pilot, so them getting along so well may be retconned. He has much more of a moral compass in the pilot, and while both versions show Pete *attempting* to be a mediator and a voice of reason, the pilot shows it more. Almost like Pete didn't want to be there, much preferring Jerry's company since they were both reasonable.

Bill and Pete's dynamic also goes to solidify Pete's relationship with his father and the toxic masculinity he displays constantly. Pete has the urge to stray and separate himself from the obviously immoral tendencies of his father, but still seeks approval from an authority figure in which he admires. Someone he sees as "cool" and capable, teeter-tottering between loving him and fighting him. His father is very authoritative, Pete was never allowed to question anything. He associates anything "girly" with pain - like how Bill associates women with sexist stereotypes, expecting to be hurt by them because of their shared experiences with bullying and Bill's mommy issues. Except Pete had it literally beat into him.

Him connecting masculinity to being capable and independent leads directly to his tendency to make choices on the fly. In a house that's always arguing, someone has to make a decision. And Pete wants to be seen as the macho man who knows what he's doing, but also doesn't care that much. So he mainly makes decisions with common sense, emotion, and whatever he's compelled to. A very "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" mentality from living in a conservative household.

Though I do feel that most of his decisions come from a place of shame. If you're secure, you usually don't have to make it a point, or brag about it, or defend it so vehemently. You just... are secure. This directly ties into his canonical bisexuality along with his horror passions. His whole life he's been told everything about him was fundamentally wrong, and he's trying to run from it. Which is why he tries to separate his personal love for horror makeup and SFX from traditional gay and drag art forms. Those things are looked down on. He hates being looked down on. Which is why he uses gays, along with Josh, as scapegoats.

The Pilot Highlights His Positives

From the first 25 seconds of the pilot, Pete is already a more positive version of his comic alternative. He's more successful in diffusing the bickering between Josh and Bill, and is more level-headed and goal-oriented. He's calmer, seeing things go wrong and actually wanting to find solutions instead of dwelling on the small details and who-did-what. He almost feels like a disgruntled mother with more humor. His independence also shines, but so does his tendency to run into danger without thinking.

Pete also sits much farther in the pilot at their meeting table. He's at opposite ends of the table, like the other head, or leader, willing to criticize Bill and never really seeing eye-to-eye with him. He tries to lead before Bill does, starting with the "Sexy Sirens" tape, and has a little bit of a power struggle. He's leaning back, to distance himself, and his nonchalance is more natural, it's just who he is. Josh and Jerry seem closer to Bill than Pete is, which is a total 180 from the comics.

A big point of Pete's character in the pilot that isn't touched upon at all in the comics is his sense of justice. He wants things to be fair - from the trivia-off in Joe's shop, to the DnD game. He tries to break up fights but will hit back if he's being hit, or someone else is being hit unjustifiably. Much like a shephard dog instead of a guard dog, like his comic alternative. But only to the club, he's still a menace to his general environment.

His trauma is shown more subtly but it is still made a point - while Pilot Josh is unconcerned when Bill's mother is yelling at the club, Pete seems the most worried and distraught, the first to start sweating and holding his head. His body language screams abuse. His introduction panel also shows he's relatively used to beat downs, seeming silently resigned and defeated rather than horrified like the other characters.

His sexuality also seems more on-par with a teen boy and less hypersexual, and there's less sexist comments. He's definitely still a little freak, shown with his creepy little faces, clawing at the glass, and his comments about "Battle Broads" the series, but he's not trying to repress nearly as much.

Combining the Two

Since the point of the comics was to be an exaggerated version of real life incels, I'd say the pilot is a more realistic representation of who Pete is as a person. But with such a short run, it didn't get to show the entirety of his character, which would have to be fleshed out across multiple episodes. The comics is a satirical piece mocking and displaying the worst of the worst, and t pilot is a commentary on the societal failures that lead to children with this kind of behavior.

There are some parts where they undeniably intersect though. Like Pete's tendency towards violence to solve his problems, and one specific comic panel (which I can't exactly find right now) where Pete comments that sewing's for sissies, and Jerry insists that he's not. Pete's reply is "Of course not you, Jerry, you're a wizard. Keep it up." This can be seen as him just wanting his clothes repaired, but it can also be interpreted as Pete putting his own insecurities and internalized feelings aside because he loves and respects his friends too much. It shows that he doesn't actually believe what he's saying to the degree he insists. Pete is the second most likely to have the capacity to change his ways, if he ever so chose.

Honestly, it's up to interpretation how these traits are combined. Some fans like the comics more, some fans like the pilot. Though Evan seems to be leaning more into the pilot interpretations of the characters now than the comics, showing a possible reboot or retcon of their old traits, just like the retcon of Epilogue Pete.

Summary (MBTI, Enneagram, etc.)

I'm gonna use my general knowledge of personality quizzes to get my point across, lol.

I honestly believe his MBTI is ESTP, as someone who studied it for a very long time and spent way too long on PDB. But he is a very unhealthy ESTP that never found an outlet for his more creative attributes, and lives in unhealthy environments that disrupt his peace.

On the good side, he can adapt easily, read his environment and the people in it well, and he is extremely passionate. He's pushed by his love of horror and film, seeking out people with the same interests and motivation to get things done. He's very experience-based, seeking out adventure, and has a lot of energy. He's very down to earth, lives in the moment almost too much, can easily improvise and comes up with decisions very quickly. He's a quick thinker, but thinks after he acts, not before, and is very life-smart. He's a good communicator, he's practical, hedonistic, and fair.

Deep down, he seeks validation from his peers, wanting to be seen as competent, talented, valuable. At his best, this helps him connect with others in a meaningful way like he craves. But he never really gets there, which leads to him forming a persona he believes will get him that respect. He's actually a very sensitive person in that way, not necessarily emotional but very touchy when it comes to what he loves. He's prone to pessimism, doesn't think about the consequences of his actions, and doesn't see himself in a world in which he's truly successful.

He's selfish, rude, doesn't trust others, has an intense aversion to rules, and doesn't look at any information that goes against what he believes. He can be bossy at times, or judgemental of others who don't meet his standards, and doesn't keep other people' feelings in mind. This leads to an internal struggle with seeing everyone as fake or not as dedicated, but also wanting, needing connection with other people. This can lead to him being rather conspiratorial, which leads to the whole "Jock vs. Nerd" conversation.

I also think he's a sp/so (self-preservation social) 8w9. His biggest fear is being hurt and betrayed by the people he loves, so he seeks out control and stability so that can't happen. He tries his best to be self-reliant so he has no need to open up to others and make himself vulnerable, and he's hard to warm up to. But once he likes you, he's loyal for life. He isn't very loud about these traits, trying to maintain an air of calmness while also being no-nonsense. He doesn't want to lose control of his anger, but also has a tendency to do so, leading to small outbursts of strong aggression. While he craves connection, if he has too many failed relationships, he may start to see them as a waste of his time and become very introverted, like how he became in the epilogue.

Yep, that's it, enough yapping for me. Those are all the things I noticed, hopefully it's entertaining to somebody lol.

#eltingville club #welcome to eltingville #the eltingville club #pete dinunzio #holy yap

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sweetflanfiction · 5 months ago

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Asymmetrical Symphony - Part 4

Universe: Arcane (LOL)

Pairing: Viktor x reader

Summary: You had been on the rooftop with Jayce and the Herald and somehow you were sent to a place where things can be different with your help

Disclaimers and Warnings: If you want me to tag you on the chapters let me know! Also leave a comment with your thoughts :D Not finished, not proofread. English isn't my 1st language. All I know about LOL is from google and all I know about Arcane is taken from the show, so inacuracies will be plenty. I have a sort of idea on how to I'm gonna go with magic and runes, so bear with me. The reader will be written as GN (going by they/them) to get everyone involved, but if you see any discrepancies let me know.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of death.

A.N.: Enjoy the 1st meeting.

Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3

• ··········· • ············ •

Death was a definite thing. No matter where you were. Undercity, topside, mid-city. Death didn’t choose. It wasn’t picky. It plucked children from mothers and fathers from children. And it was cruel. As if losing a loved one wasn’t enough, it took the memories. Their voice is the first to go, then their face becomes blurry, and then you only remember what they were when a particular tune comes up or a smell drifts from the window. And then it hits you. Slowly and all at once. A person that had been filling that hole in your heart, and now they're gone.

“Mother?”

The woman’s gaze turned to you and softened, eyes starting to wet just as yours were. Her voice. You remembered her voice.

“Madame Rainemour.” Caitlyn stood even straighter, almost backbreaking. “I don’t think interrogating a suspect is a contact sport, Miss Kiramman.” Her eyes steeled as she looked at the younger woman. “Where’s their lawyer? If I remember correctly, every prisoner has the right to have a representative to defend them. Where is it?”

Caitlyn's mouth opened and closed, eyes shifting around for an answer.

“Very well.” The older woman, your mother said. “They shall use the Rainemour's attorney as their defender, and until you have summoned a judge, they will be coming home.”

“Home? Judge?” Caitlyn suddenly snapped out of her stupor. “Madame Rainemour, this person is suspected to be entangled with Jin—the author of the attack. They have also assaulted several enforcers and attempted to escape the hospital we had placed them in. I don’t know who this is to you, but to us, they are a person of interest.”

“This is my child, Miss Kiramman. And I will not have you abuse your grief and your power chasing a shadow in hopes of getting to the light bulb.”

“Can we discuss this outside?” Caitlyn hid the surprise well, but her eyebrows shot up, and you had half a mind to not mumble, I told you so. Mostly because you didn’t think your brain was functioning correctly and any thought you would try to convey would come out a jumbled mess. “Uncuff them and will.” “I can’t uncuff them; they are a suspect. They have tried escaping once!” “Caitlyn, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. I can have the family's attorney here in minutes. He will spin whatever case you have into the tightest knot he can. You’ll be untangling it for months. Or you can uncuff my child and talk to me, and we can find a better solution for all of us.”

You could sense Caitlyn’s frustration as she turned to the table, grabbed the key ring from her belt, and unlocked the cuffs.

“Thank you, shall we?”

They both left the room silently, and you crossed your arms on the table, resting your head in them.

You realized how tired you were. Not just physically, with all the aching bones and bruises starting to make themselves noticed as the stress levels diminish a little, but also your mind is chaotic and exhausted. And you haven’t even stopped to properly think about this. This shift, the runes, the magic, your mother? This world…

“Hello.”

You jumped from your curved position, placing a hand on your heart while turning your body in the chair to look at the owner of the voice.

A serious-faced Viktor stood against the wall, near the door. Leaning on his cane with two hands.

“Blue balls of Hextech Vik.” You exhale quickly. “You want to kill me; just boink me in the head with the cane.”

“Blue balls of Hextech?” His square eyebrows raised in confusion, and you realized the slip-up.

“It’s…huh… It’s…complicated… It’s a joke.”

It was easy how quickly you had forgotten this wasn’t your Viktor. This was their Viktor. And this Viktor didn’t have the memories of your Viktor. All the jokes, the quips, the way you three could have whole conversations in silence.

“It is funny because Hextech does exist in a blue ball form.” he said, the corner of his mouth tilting up.

“How come they allowed you to be inside the room with a very dangerous criminal such as myself?” You pointed to your pitiful figure.

They didn’t get you a change of clothes, but they gave you some pants. So now you were sitting there, wearing a crimped hospital gown, gray pants that didn’t fit you, feet clad in dirty socks, bandages around your arms, and recently open wounds and bruises. You looked as menacing as a wet dog.

“They did not.” he simply said, shrugging and rolling his eyes.

You shook your head; of course they didn’t. Viktor did what Viktor wanted.

“Alright. I’ll remake the question.” You placed your arm on top of the wooden chair’s back and laid your chin on top of your upper arm. “Why are you in the room with a very dangerous criminal such as myself inside?”

“I have a conundrum.” He said fishing something from the inside of his white vest. A folded piece of paper that he handed to you. “Excuse the scratchiness of the lines. I did it on the trolley rides.”

You raised an eyebrow and unfolded the paper. It was definitely a Viktor sketch. You touched the lines on the paper gently, not even paying attention to what you were looking at. His neat cursive handwritten notes were scattered around a less neat sketch of a broken cog. It was made in pencil, and you assumed there were no erasers around since some of the sketch lines had been drawn thicker to hide previous mistakes. There were fingerprints, smudges, crossed-out words, and the little, neat hatching lines on the corner of the sheet he did when he was deep in thought. This was Viktor, your Viktor. You sigh deeply, doing your best to not think about the past right now.

You blinked the moistness out of your eyes and looked at the sketch. It was a broken cog, cracked in some places. There was a thin arrow pointing to one of the cracks.

‘Councilor Hosket, deceased.’

In the lower right corner, two dotted, parallel lines are drawn with a note pointing to it.

‘No major damage.’

A little V drawn right next to the lines, near one of the cracks, had two arrows coming out of it. One arrow, thicker, went from outside the dotted lines to the inside, where another V was noted down, next to an interrogation point. The letters M J were also scribbled between the ‘no major damage lines.’

The other arrow was thinner and had another V next to a cross.

‘Councilor Bolbok: deceased’ a line read next to the cross.

This wasn’t a cog. It was the table at the councilor chamber and the damage after the attack. You narrowed your eyes first, confused, but grinned a second after. Of course Viktor would have investigated the attack. Especially because you did tackle him out of what he figured out was the line of fire.

“I do not believe in luck. I believe in chance, but not luck.” He explained, leaning back into the wall, his golden gaze on you. “But I do believe the facts. Especially ones I can prove. You see, in all of the calculations I made, and I’ve been making them since I woke in a hospital bed.” He spat the last part with a palpable distaste. “Of the people who were in the path of most destruction, myself and Jayce were saved with mostly bruises and scratches. Jayce, I hypothesized, in an attempt to save Councilor Medarda, saved himself, pushing both out of the way.”

Sighing, you realized how much you missed his ramblings. He could have just said ‘I should have died, but I didn’t and I don’t know why.’ But here he was going on and on about the waves of destruction and the building infrastructure and how having a glass dome was just vanity and very unsafe. Excitedly talking with hands, always having one on the cane while the other moved through the air. His expression became animated, eyebrows raised and falling, his head bobbing around. And you couldn't help but smile softly at him.

Until he looked at you straight in the eyes.

“You're staring.” He stated, and you quickly moved your gaze elsewhere. Anywhere but him. “Sorry, old habit.” “It’s quite alright. I’m used to it. The cripple with the big words.” He stopped the sentence abruptly. “I don’t know why I said that to you. Anyway. My question is. Why did you push me out of the way?”

You searched your tired brain for a reason that didn’t involve time-jumping to save him from himself. Although if there was someone who would believe you, it would be him.

“Well, I knew about the attack… and I was trying to warn the councilors before it was too late.”

He frowned and shook his head, his eyes narrowing and widening as he thought about something.

“The quickest way to evacuate the Academy and the Council Chamber would have been to pull the fire alarm. You must have passed at least... He looked up mapping your hypothetical path to the chamber. “Four.”

“There was a rocket going straight to the Academy. I wasn’t thinking straight.” You answered, reverting to defending yourself.

His eyes narrowed for a moment, pushing himself off the wall with his shoulders and taking a step towards you. His cane and another familiar metal thump made you shift your gaze to his leg. He had already enhanced it.

“But you were focused.” He said as he got close to you, so close you could smell the minty hard candy he kept in his pocket. He grabbed the paper from your hands, leaned down, hooked the handle of his cane on the table, and placed the paper on the table, the broken table schematic turned over. A small map was drawn surrounded by math equations.

You took the opportunity to look at his face up close. He looked less tired; the bags under his eyes were less dark but still present, his hair was still shaggy and long, but he looked…healthier, livelier. You dropped your eyes to his leg. Was it already eating him inside and pretending it wasn’t? Was this the calm before the storm?

“You are staring again.” You heard him, but this time you looked up at him. “You remind me of someone.” He searched your eyes for deception but found none.

He was about to speak again when the doors to the room burst open, and you both looked up and back.

Fuming was a mild way to describe Caitlyn’s mood as she strode to the table and slammed a pen and a paper down. You turned your body, watching Viktor grab his cane from the back of the chair.

“Sign this.” She barked. You looked back to watch your mother looking at you, her nose held high and a slight grin on her face. She nodded.

You read the paper in front of you. Father always said never to sign anything without reading it first.

In sum, it was a bond contract. The council would let you go free, but aside from a hefty sum of money paid, you could not leave Piltover and had to be present whenever the Enforcers notified you for questioning. You must always be accompanied by a counsellor of your choosing, and you could reschedule it to your liking. If you were caught doing something illegal, you would be apprehended and shoved off to jail until further notice.

You almost didn’t finish signing your last name as Caitlyn pulled the paper under your hands.

“You’re free to go.” She hisses through gritted teeth. • ············ •

The sky was still specked with the colors of morning when you stepped outside, closely followed by Viktor and your mother.

“I think this belongs to you, dear.” She grabbed your hand and placed the locket on your palm.

The metal was warm with her own heat, and your palm was cold and scarred, the soft gold contrasting with the rune that had appeared there. You stared at the familiar locket, silently.

Standing in the middle of a whole new Piltover, it looked the same; it smelled the same. You confirmed with your mother’s presence that it wasn't just a time jump. You were in a completely new universe.

And in the middle of it all, whoever the bigger deity was who had decided to do this had given you a very illegal and very cool new power. Magic. You weren’t dumb; you spent enough evenings in the Talis lab hearing both of the boys yapping about runes and magic. And you had spent enough time with Heimerdinger to know the use of magic was not allowed in Piltover.

You were drowning in your heartbeat, but your lungs were working overtime.

Are you supposed to stay here? Are you going to go back? Do you want to go back? To the end of the line? To the place where everything ends? With Jayce on his knees and the Herald destroying everything you knew and loved. What if you stayed here and did something that could make it all worse?

“Child?” The touch on your face sent a shock through your body, and you jumped back, eyes wide with fear.

The expression on your mother’s face softened, and she took a step towards you.

“Let’s go home now. We’ll sort this out after you take a bath and eat something.”

Her voice, her voice was like a song loved and forgotten. Every word she said was a stroke of a piano key flooding your senses with warmth and love.

Her eyes matched your own, but you guessed that. You used to roll them whenever someone told you you had your mother's exact eye color. You got a little angry that they remembered her that well and you didn’t. But they were right.

Her face hadn’t shown many signs of aging. Some crow's feet and laugh lines, but she looked beautiful. Graceful. Bright.

And you felt dishonest when you mentioned her as your mother, or when she mentioned you as her child. You weren’t. Not really.

“I don’t think I am your child.” You whispered, sadly, after a second.

“I know, sweetheart.”

• ··········· • ············ •

@marshy-moo @victormydarling @blueesmiski @th3stup1dcat @22carolina08 @httpstes @adithsaley @that-one-shitty-blog @disa-pointment @sseleniaa @angelsukiipls @casey8522 @moons-lighttrail @buttermilktea11 @aysluxe @fae-doodle @kitewa @local-mr-frog @bakusquadobsessed @cherry-cola-100 @optimistic-but-very-realistic @seeksrsnn @thecordelialetters @hazzawillian

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drdemonprince · 6 months ago

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also like. The way that some discoursers describe the role of a "power differential" in an age gap relationship is heavily informed by cishet relationship expectations that frame a romantic relationship as adversarial.

Just saw someone in the comments of a post about age gaps discussing how confusing it can be to determine who in a relationship actually has the "upper hand," once you take into account factors like income, immigration status, race, and so on. True enough facts, but also -- why are we discussing relationships in terms of who has the upper hand? How will that upper hand be utilized and what does it mean to actually be in a loving relationship with another person when that is how you approach how you relate to one another?

Liberal feminist dating advice for cishet women in particular leads them to become obsessed with not losing the "upper hand" over the men that they are dating -- to not show too much affection or genuine interest, to not forgive mistakes lest you become weak, to not become dependent upon a partner, to remain economically empowered and so on.

Again, these are very sensible attempts to balwark oneself against systemic sexism in the patriarchy, I'm not blaming women for often needing to do all of that.

But can you actually be in a mutually supportive, interdependent relationship if you are constantly guarding yourself against losing your position? Is it loving, is it nourishing, is it a real relationship if you must always guard yourself against losing the "upper hand"?

Patriarchal laws and policies and the awful conduct of many men obviously makes this kind of thinking adaptive for many, but it is horrible that cishet women feel that they can never be vulnerable around the people that they love. That is not a state of affairs we should consider acceptable or admirable; that kind of thinking is not a solution to the real issue at hand, which in this case is systemic sexism, but in other cases could be ageism, classism, what have you.

we need to remove the existing power differentials in a structural way so that people are free to love others how they want to, and not constantly guard themselves against those they love. But even in the meantime, viewing a single interpersonal relationship as the battleground in which these systemic forces play out is a bit confused.

Telling individual people who are marginalized that they must be mindful of the "power differential" when electing whom to date is a bit like telling women they shouldn't "let" themselves be assaulted by wearing the wrong item of clothing or hanging out in the wrong places. That is not why abuse happens. It is not in the marginalized person's control. And instructing marginalized people to avoid receiving love and support as means of protecting themselves only leaves them far more vulnerable in a lot of cases.

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friendlynaborhooddisapointment · 1 month ago

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trying to write a oneshot where billy gets a phone (his neighbour in the condemned building he squats in gives it to him after she gets a new one) and then ends up starting a tictok account as Captain Marvel. he starts it cuz a tictok abt him got viral so he makes one to repy to it but then gets attached to the app a little (cuz he's like 12) and just continues to make them.

but suddenly i forgot about all tictok trends i could have him do . the only ones i remember are the "pass the phone to someone who" (gonna have him pass it to batman and then batman shits on him for filming a tictok in the watchtower) and the smash or pass cake. WHAT OTHER TRENDS CAN I HAVE THIS GUY DOOOO PLEASEEEEE.

things i want him to do with this acc:

when he sees ppl in shitty situations (abusive), he comments on them being like want me to beat them up for you? (? something along those lines)

dueting dance tictoks and failing really badly

making a video abt all the stray animals he visits (damian becomes an avid follower and fan after this one) and it becomes a series

an info dumb video about tigers

suspiciously helpful life hack videos that are sometimes borderline illegal

maybe a video where he goes around and interviews homeless people with stuff like hey whats ur favorite food? and supper mundane questions- want this to lead to a whole bunch of videos of Cap picking fights with people on the internet over the dignity and rights of homeless people

has a series of 'rate this parking lot' type videos but of different roof tops

Superman pissed him off so he starts a collection of interrupting and finishing Superman's fights for him (oh sorry was this your fight? rip ig u dont have to worry abt him now, see you later!) what did superman do? bro idk ill figure it out

a video taking abt the best websites to download music from for his mp3 player since a comment asks abt it when it shows up in a video (it becomes v obvious that he is broke as fuck in this video and thats all the comments focus on)

billy dueting with fanart and fan edits freaking out being like wow these r so cool!!! (he ignores all the gooner stuff eyes close do not see)

doing tictok dances with some of the homeless of facwet

ends up making a video on resources in facwet for homeless people (since some people ask for it) but they are all kinda unofficial or just survival tips, and also him dunking on some of the official ones that are kinda shady (weirdly personal advice for someone who is probably not homeless? is the vibe)

makes a video complaining abt how because of how popular it has become to pay with everything by card most people dont carry around change anymore, and because of that homeless people get a lot less money then they used too

videos where random citizens call out to him and ask questions or ask him to do random stuff (most of them start off with him about to do a video on something else then derails)

some of the JL ask to do join him on some of the tictoks so a few collabs wth them.

'how many times can i film batman without him noticing me' it gets to 2 because batman was to busy to tell him to stop both times. it ends with batman lecturing him on filming in the tower again

thats all i got for him to do. idk if i will actually write this so feel free to steal it to make your own fanfic (actually please do i hate writing). but i think it would be funny for this perceived adult to make half brainrot type content that feels weirdly natural. also the weird little hints he accidentally leaves abt his civilian life that is very concerning to everyone. no one can tell if he's a million years old or born yesterday lol.

also Captain Marvel and Superman beef pre identity reveal means everything to me. ALSO THE CAPTAIN CHILLING WITH THE HOMELESS AND BEING ACAB MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME and thats like half the reason why i want this to exist.

#billy batson #fic idea #fic prompt #shazam #captian marvel #facwet #batman #justice league #superman #homeless billy batson

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skyenish · 10 months ago

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You’ve got the same eyes as your mother | Riddle Rosehearts animatic 🌹|

———

I’m not really happy with how this turned out but I’m gonna be honest, I’m just doing anything possible to avoid having to work on stuff I should he working on and drawing is suddenly difficult again, but we keep fighting! Fuck it we ball‼️

(Did you notice I didn’t want to draw the Heartslabyul boys? I love them dearly but they’re my least favorites to draw by FAR, because Ace ily but that hair makes my hands want to explode)

Anyways, here is my little Riddle analisys! Its so tragic to see how much like his mom he’s become. Riddle really isn’t mean or evil, he’s trying to help his dorm in basically the only way he knows how. Perhaps it also shows how abuse victims can become abusers themselves, but on a smaller scale? I am not well read on this topic though, so I hope that’s not insensitive to say. It’s just cool to see how most of the Overblotters become like the people that played a big part in their lives. Azul becomes a ��bully”, Jamil becomes a “master” who uses others like servants, Leona becomes dismissive of others, and Riddle becomes like his mom. There are parallels there I think!

You know, Riddle is a very interesting character. Out of all the Overblotters, I’d say he’s the least “evil” person (that’s not to say that the others are evil), in the way that he’s the least selfish, and he’s also the only one who properly apologized. Though, the others also apologized in their own way of course.

Riddle really convinced himself that was he was doing was good, that he was in the right and that he was only protecting the dorm and teaching them the proper way. One of my favorite moments from book 1 was when Riddle cried and apologized, and said that he really wanted to eat that chestnut cake, and he doesn’t like most of the rules! Also of course the line “what rule do I have to follow to make my heart stop hurting”, it truly is devastating.

Sometimes I wonder how Riddle feels when he looks in the mirror, and he sees someone so similar to his mother. He probably feels conflicted, right? He loves her and knows she’s highly succesful, but why does he feel sick at the thought of him being similar to her? I find it interesting how dual and contradictory the overblotters are, and Riddle is no different. I have this headcanon that his housewarden uniform is modeled slightly after his mom, and after his Overblot he changes his uniform, and it resembles her less. I really like Riddle’s character, but I don’t think about him that much. Maybe I should do that more often?

I hope you guys like my interpretation of him and my rambling, and if you didn’t I’d love to hear your interpretation! And if I got something wrong, please correct me in the comments!!

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fairyofsilence · 6 months ago

Text

BEHIND HIS LENSE | 2/7 | TTIB SERIES | PREVIEW

Pairing: Photographer!Taehyung x PersonalAssistant!Reader

Warnings: +18, Yandere, manipulation, drugging, EXPLICIT NONCON; cunnilingus, rough sex, victim blaming, slut shaming, blackmailing, abuse of power, coercion.

Summary: After 4 long years of working for the extravagant photographer Vante, you decide to step down from your job after catching feelings for your boss, which you're sure he will never return.

But he's determined to show you that there's only one person he will consider his muse, and it's you.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment, please proceed with caution.

Word count: 0.8 k.

Just a quick preview of what's coming :)

In three days from now, you’ll be quitting the only job you’ve ever had.

You know you’re extremely lucky to have landed such a sought-after job with absolutely no experience at all, especially when you consider who you’re working for, but you had truly underestimated just how demanding this job was, the number of errands you do in a day will send a normal person into a coma. At first, things started to pile up pretty quickly, and eventually, you learned how to keep on top of things, becoming one of the best at what you do, but recently, there’s something that no matter how hard you tried to push it aside, you can’t seem to shake it off, and if the job was hard before that, this just had officially made it unbearable.

You’re falling in love with your boss.

At first it was nothing but a simple, innocent crush, to be fair, how can anyone blame you? Taehyung is an attractive man, and his charm rapidly made your 20-year-old-self infuriated, although that crush faded quite quickly (thanks to Taehyung’s insufferable attitude the first couple of months), these past couple of months have been messing with your head, quite frankly, you think you’re going insane with the amount of overthinking you’ve been doing, but there’s things you can’t make up, especially since other people have been noticing too.

It all started with a simple comment, your best friend had planted the seed into your brain.

“Wow, since when did you get a raise?” Sohee’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets while she makes grabby hands at your new bag, you hand it out to her, and she touches it like it’s made of glass “How in the hell did you afford a brand-new Flamenco bag? I thought you said you were saving up for a new apartment!” Her tone is so high that you needed a second to digest what she just said, which leaves you more confused than you already are.

“What are you even talking about? If you think I bought this bag than I’ll have to reconsider all these years of friendship” You tried to joke around but Sohee doesn’t seem to be taking this lightly.

“How the hell did you get a 4-thousand-dollars bag then? You didn’t tell me you had a sugar daddy!” You almost faint when hearing the actual price of your new bag, but before she can say anything even more stupid, you quickly try to cover her mouth, but she swats your hand easily.

“Can you stop? I didn’t know it was this expensive!” She raises one of her brows at you and you feel the need to explain yourself “I don’t have a sugar daddy dumbass; Taehyung gave it to me the other day after a photoshoot” Sohee’s mouth opens so wide you have to restrain yourself to not laugh and cause an even bigger scene at the company’s cafeteria.

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking him or something?” You gave Sohee a nasty look that she couldn’t care less about “I think the nicest thing Namjoon has ever done for me is saying ‘Please’ or ‘Thank you’, and he doesn’t even do that often, how the hell did you get your boss to give you a damn designer bag?” Her fixation over a bag is starting to get in your nerves, so you try to explain the situation to her.

“It was during a photoshoot like three days ago, he shot the new Loewe campaign and during a break I said that the color of this bag is very pretty, he asked if I liked the bag and I said yes because it was the biggest one where I could definitely fit everything I needed on it, he just nodded and by the end of the shoot he came to me with the bag on his hand telling me it was for me, I asked him why would he gave it to me and he just said ‘It matches your blouse’, kind of dumb if you ask me” Sohee was truly in a state of shock by the end of you explanation, and you didn’t know what to even say to her about that.

She’s speechless for a few seconds before she looks at you with an accusing stare.

“Wait a second, didn’t you tell me once that he made you send the girls he fucks a designer bag when he’s trying to fuck them?” Her eyebrows are almost reaching her hairline, and you don’t even know how to defend yourself because that was true.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything-” Sohee shuts you up with a single look, and you are forced to face the reality.

“Y/N, wake up, that man wants something from you, and it’s not anything casual if he’s giving you these types of gifts, we’ll let it slide this time” You scoff at her ‘we’ but she ignores you, “But if this keeps happening, you have two options, tell him to back off, or” Her tone was starting to piss you off, and you didn’t know if it was because she was being truly annoying, or because deep down you knew that she was right, “you can get more out of him, not just a designer bag”.

#bts yandere #TTIB series #yandere taehyung #bts fanfiction #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x y/n #yandere bts #bts angst #bts x reader

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hidtired · 1 year ago

Text

Unfortunate Timing [Part 2]

(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist

Description: You found out your pregnant early into your relationship with Daryl Dixon. To make matters worse? The apocalypse happens a few days later! (not fully canon)

4.2k words

Warnings (Pregnancy, gore, abuse, violence, fluff, walking dead stuff, ect.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 etc.

A single moment can change your life, change the world. Everything only seemed to get worse. The quarry was a group of survivors that had formed. You and the Dixons were outcasts, at least it felt like it. The girls seemed to see you in low regard being pregnant. The men were no better. They saw you as a burden. The feeling of people talking behind your back stressed you out. Being pregnant also didn’t help. You felt tired all the time, also being plagued with morning sickness. Which is a stupid name when it happens all day. Throwing up in a world were food is now limited also leaves you uneasy.

You also see that stress weighing on Daryl. It wasn’t long ago he struggled with the fact of having a kid. Now seemed even more terrifying. He was becoming short tempered, to his credit only snapping at you once but regretted the way he almost made you cry. “No! I won’t take a break I have to keep going out there for food! You’ve been throwing up half the shit I’ve already gotten for you!”

He didn’t mean for it to sound like your wrong for doing so, he knew you couldn’t help it. He saw the glassy film come to the corner of your eyes. His heart tugged. You were in your tent you shared, sat on the sleeping bag with your head shamefully down. “No, no. Come on…” he angled your face back up to met his. He sank to his knees in front of you. “I know you can’t help it. M’ just trying to say you need more. I just want to make sure you’re gettin enough.” You had asked him to stay because he was rarely around. He was out alone looking for food and you couldn’t help but see every time he came back a little more on edge. He was getting into his head to much out there.

He knows you’re having a hard time. With being pregnant at this moment in time how could you not. You had tried to talk to the mothers of the camp for advice on anything, they didn’t bat an eye to you. You had looked for support and were denied it. He saw that you were being treated like a Dixon. Something he was familiar with, and something Merle also understood. Merle became more chill around you. No more sexual comments or sexist remarks. Doesn’t mean he is any less better to be around. He treated you like a sister you thought. He still was an ass. Making mean comments or complaining about something you did. But he had become family.

Andrea was your biggest pain. She seemed like she had something to prove. She hated the traditional female roles that had been pushed onto the girls. You understood her disliking for Merle but she attached that to Daryl and you as well. She didn’t say outright mean things but subtle jabs. Week after week it was chipping at your demeanor.

So here you are now, you think almost 3 months pregnant. Seeing Daryl was the highlight of whenever he appeared. You sat in your tent with him getting ready for his 2 day hunting trip for a deer he knew was near by. He sighed feeling your eyes on him, “Yer breakin my heart with that look.” Your smiling face replacing your sulking one, “I’m just missing you already.” You stood up, “You should see something before you go.” He turned to you questioningly. You pulled your shirt up over your stomach and turned to the side, “I know I haven’t seen myself in a mirror for a while but, I think I’m showing?” You looked up from your little bump that you could see spotting the surprised face he was making. He gulped before talking, “Ya sure are…” he walked closer placing a hand to your tummy. You saw his teeth were clenched. He felt the weight of pressure crushing him,

“We are doing are best, that’s all I could ask from you.”

He left for his hunt a little less stressed. You also saw Merle off later into the day with the first group run to the city. “Hey do me a favor and don’t get yourself killed.” Merle turned to you, “And have those freaks naw on m' sweet ass?” You chuckle as you walk away, “Let’s just hope you remember your ass from your elbow!”

The day progress like any other. It had just become the afternoon when the sound of the radio chirped on. It cause some disagreement about making a sign to warn others about the city. You just went back to minding your own business. You helped boil water taking notice of Lori trimming her son’s hair. You spoke up noticing the displeased look on Carl's face, “Going for a mohawk Carl? Or maybe you’re thinking bald.” His nose scrunched up at the thought. You laugh at the reaction, “Bald people run faster.” Carl smiled, “Nuh-uh!” You shook your head and shrugged, “How do you know if you won’t try.” He looked to his mom, “I’d rather have hair than be faster!” He said it to his mom like he tried convincing her to not make him bald. Lori smiled at her son, “Ya me to, but if you keep moving you might be bald at the end of this.” He straightened and stilled, but he still spoke, “I hate haircuts…”

Shane came and sat down looking at you briefly. “One of these days you’ll be missing your mother’s hair cuts.” Carl rolled his eyes, "I'd like to see that day!" It had initially shocked you that Shane wasn’t Carl's dad. You always assumed for how close they were and how often they would walk into the woods together. Then it put a gross feeling into your mouth that his father had only recently died. Shane was his apparent best friend and coworker. But it wasn’t necessarily wrong, you just didn’t like to think about it often.

After finishing with boiling water you handed it to Carol. You felt sweaty and all around unpleasant. You needed a nap. You said to Carol that you were going to lay down if they needed to find you. You woke up to arguing. The group that went out had radioed saying there was a problem. Everyone was scared for their respective family that had gone to the city. You felt a pit form in your stomach. The hormones in your body already swarming causing you to be unable to control them. You picture what happened to your Aunt in front of you. Sometimes it still feels as if the blood was still on your face. The thought of knowing she was one of those things walking around somewhere. Maybe they all were already dead like her. You weren’t exactly thrilled about Merle as a person but, you knew deep down he was another person to help protect your baby.

You decided there was no use in stressing yourself, so you went and distracting yourself with chores. Laundry, moving fire wood to our fire pit, took a walk near the perimeter, which now leaves you here at the waters edge. You used the cool water to help with the swelling in your feet and ankles. Week after week you had the sense that being pregnant is going to really suck farther down the road. You fiddle with your knife while swaying your feet in the water. Lost in your own world when an echo starts to ring out throughout the quarry.

The car alarm got louder so you slipped your shoes on and walked back up to the camp. You saw a red car and Glenn standing outside of it. Shane opening the hood and pulling something to stop its beeping. People were yelling at him for answers when a van appeared, ‘so everyone made it back.’ It was a relief to stop the constant thought of the worse. You couldn’t help but notice Merle nowhere to be seen. But that thought was pushed aside when you heard Carl scream,

“DAD!”

You watched with a smile at the reunion of the Grimes family. Also taking notice of Shane making a weird face. He probably was feeling sick to his stomach and you thought it kinda deserved. He did persuade his grieving wife. The thought was interrupted by T-dog coming toward you with a concerned face. You clicked something was wrong, then started to look around. Merle was still no where. The sinking feeling of realization hit you. T-dog watch as understanding washed over you. A hand over your mouth, “W-where is Merle?” A few others turning at the mention, Lori’s husband taking the most notice. T-dog spoke first, “He was putting all of us in danger. He was cracked out of his mind.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, ‘I told him to behave.’ You inhale trying to calm yourself, “He dead?” T-dog shook his head. You nodded looking at all the pears of eyes on you. Your eyes were shiny but nothing fell. You huffed and walked back to your tent. While you were upset about Merle being gone it wasn’t about that. It proved how fucked this new world was becoming. A world your child would have to be in. Suddenly being pregnant with them seemed like the safest place for them. Your thoughts of how it would suck later in pregnancy and 'couldn’t wait for it to be over' stopped. Your child is the safest it will ever be in its life. That terrifying thought scared you.

It wasn’t until later when the sun began to set that you had calmed. It was cold and you wanted to sit by a fire. People were surprised when you appeared and sat with them. You had over heard parts about what happened to Rick. But at the sight of you got them talking about Merle. It was Dale who brought it up, “Who is going to tell Daryl Dixon about his brother?” Rick glanced to you then back to Dale, “I will. I’m the one who handcuffed him.” Then T-dog shook his head, “Nah I dropped the key, makes this one mine.” Based on that information you started to piece what happened on the run. That thought stalled to a stop when Glenn stated, “Not to make it about race but maybe a white guy should tell him?” Is that what they thought about Daryl? They just assuming he is like his brother? You huff in anger, “Really Glenn? He is not racist. He’s only the person that, you know, been feeding all of you.” Glenn turned sheepish at your harsh tone. You stood, “But you know, leave his brother for dead seems like a good trade for how much he has been doing for all of you people!”

You visible deflate mood switching on a dime. You move a hand to your small bump, “Sorry I know you probably had a good reason, Merle is a hard ass.” You sunk back down enjoying the fire too much to go to bed. Rick’s voice spoke calmly, “Your pregnant.” He stated it more as a realization. You look to his shocked face, clearly thinking of how unlucky a timing it was to be. You chuckled speaking sarcastically, “Keep up with those observations and you’re sure to make detective.” His eyebrows drawn in by thought, “Merle was the father?” Disgust washing over your face, “Ew. God I take it back.” Everyone was surprised at your blatant dislike for Merle. They knew Daryl was the dad. You start to clarify, “Daryl is the dad.” You took notice of there original reaction, “Look I don’t like Merle anymore then you probably do. Half the time I don’t think Daryl does either! But he is still at the end of the day my family now.”

Peoples lack of trying to talk to you has put there own version of you in there head. They thought you were quiet and jumpy. Questioning if they did talk to you they would do more harm then good like with Carol. Now the few talks they’ve had or heard from you made sense. You were out spoken and just tired from being pregnant. You stood up again feeling awkward. “I’m going to bed, figure out what to say to Daryl. Maybe watch out for a punch or two.” So you walked off to bed. You were happy you could see Daryl in the morning, but the thought of him learning of his brother broke your heart. You tossed and turned most of the night with the thought.

The light shining through your tent lead you awake. Still trying to cling to as much sleep while feeling drowsy. Then you heard Carl and Sophia screams. You sat up and tried to get to your feet causing a wave of dizziness. The shuffling of stomping feet telling you people were running over there. You slip on shoes taking a moment to become alright with gravity again. Amy and Andrea walked away when you walked over a voice caught your attention, “Its gotta be the brain, don’t youall know nothing?” You smiled glad Daryl is back. When you turn the corner however you weren’t expecting a walker and deer to be sprawled out dead on the floor. You made eye contact with Daryl when the smell of the walker pulled a gag from you. The smile being wiped from your face as a hand comes to your mouth. You immediately turned back around and walked away.

Daryl was well aware of how sensitive your senses have become. You can’t handle anything raw at the moment. He noticed a week into the quarry how you would look at something raw, something that never bother you before, and it would make you queasy. Speaking of raw he should probably get the squirrels ready. He sighed watching you walk away with a love sick hopelessness washed on his face. Something that people have never taken notice of before. So he called for his brother to help, so he could get to you sooner. That's when all hell broke loose.

You heard the calls for Merle hearing Daryl walk back. Then you saw all the guys surround him. Then you watched him pace back and forth. You knew that was a coping thing he did so you decided to stand closer. By the time you had walked over he threw the squirrels he’d caught at Rick. You didn’t even have a moment to yell his name when the former policemen jumped him and pinned him. Shane putting him in a headlock and Rick getting in his face. You yelled in displeasure,

“Get the hell off him!”

It was the loudest anyone has heard you, also the angriest. Shane had glanced to you before releasing his hold on him. Daryl sprung back up frustration clear on his face. When he turned to make sure you were behind him you caught a glimpse of his eyes becoming glassy. T-dog chimed in from the earlier conversation you didn’t hear, “It’s not his fault, I dropped the key.” Daryl’s voice strained, “You couldn’t pick it up?!” T-dog looked down guilty, "Well, I dropped it into a drain. But before I left I chained the door shut." Daryl shook his head and started to back up, "That supposed to make me feel better! Hell with all of y'all, just tell me where he is so I can go an get him." You hated to see him upset. You weren't expecting Lori to pipe in and volunteering her husband to take Daryl there. Rick said he was planning to go back anyways saying it was wrong for anything to suffer like that. Shane being the typical hard ass and self employed leader strongly disagreed. With a few others joining it was decided, they were going to get Merle back.

You were finally alone with Daryl again. He still seemed riled over everything but also you could see he was getting emotional. He was turned around facing away from you. You slowly wrapped you arms around him, holding him from behind. He slowly turned into you resting his chin on your head and arms going over your shoulders. You felt him release air, sinking into you. He try's to hide it but you see he is exhausted. You saw he felt like he had to prove something to you, or maybe just to himself. He released you with avoided eye contact. He took a moment with you and collected himself but, he was still a man on a mission.

You watch as Daryl throw things into a bag and refusing to met your eye to avoid whatever look that would break his heart. They were about to take off back to the city and into danger, so you stopped Daryl by putting your hands to his chest. He spoke before you could, "Look I have ta go get him, I know you don't want me goin-" You cut him of by grabbing his face, "When you see him again you tell him I warned his dumb ass, and when you get him back here I'm going to chew him out for this!" He looked at you stunned. You use your grip on his face to drag him into a kiss, "And you better comeback here without a scratch!" He smiled at you, eyes soft, he kissed you again.

"Yes Ma'am."

They had left hours ago and you had that uneasy feeling again. You respected Rick more then anyone else at the camp and he just got here. He was a decent guy but feel bad watching Carl's worried expression. Lori even flipped that he was going right after she herself said he was. Mood swings on that girl, and your the one whos supposed to be pregnant. Jim was off digging which concerned a few. It led to him tided to a tree for his own safety. Granted it was the only eventful thing that would probably happen today. Unless a swamp monster dragged itself out of the water you and all the girls were doing laundry in. Although Ed was a close to one. It was a welcome distraction all the same. To have girl talk again was essential to any girl and none can say other wise. Most of the girls seemed like they could now talk to you and it was a relief.

Although Andrea kinda still sucks the life out of fun, "So how did you end up pregnant?" Most girls look over to her wet laundry in hand and displeased looks by the question. You tightly rung a shirt and looked at her in the eye, "Well, I think your a little old for the birds and bees talk." That gained an eye roll from her but chuckles from the others. You smiled before giving her the answer you are sure she was trying to dig for, "I found out a day before the fall." The thought making you think of your Aunt. You continued on anyways, "Daryl and I hadn't been dating that long I'll be honest, so it wasn't exactly planned. Then I thought it was the end of the world." You look around to the thoughtful faces around you and shrugged, "Turns out I was a day off on that though." It was lighthearted from there, mentions of things that they missed from before. Carols unexpected and less then innocent choice sent waves of laughter throughout the lady's. That fun was crushed by the swamp monster known as Ed.

It lead to something you didn't expect. His sexism rubbing everyone the wrong way. Making Andrea questioned what he did instead of sitting on his ass doing nothing. Which while true and agreed with it lead to him to try to take Carol away and most likely go hit her. When Andrea challenge Ed in doing so it left a sinking feeling in you. You were uncomfortable with confrontation, probably do with the way your parents had treated you. Even with the sinking feeling you try and pull Carol behind you. The exaltation of his action were unpredictable, "Think I won't hit some pregnant whore?!" That was the first swing. It almost fully landed grazing your cheek. Carol had used the arm you had on her to tug you back before he swung. The frightened yelps and yells grabbing the attention from those farther. Carol now stood slightly in front of you, your cold damp hand moving to your warmed cheek he clipped. Ed now focused on his wife slapping her and trying to drag her away but the other girls now stepping in and clung to her. You didn't even see Shane before he pulled Ed backwards and began to lay punch after punch into him. Everyone but Carol were stunned into silence. Carols cry's and the grunts coming from the men filled the air. So maybe Jim wasn't the only thing that was going to happen today.

Everything was tense after that. With the amount things gone wrong and the still missing members that went to the city, moral was low among the group. Later in the evening Amy and Andrea had gone fishing catching dinner. The sun drifted closer to fully set as the fish was cooked with one question still in there minds, 'Where were they?' The smell of the fish left you gagging and need for fresher air. You found you way back to the water to dip your swollen feet in the water again. It wasn't a unusual thing you did, you did it often. Knife in hand and legs swaying in the cool water. The light dissipated making you aware you should get back soon. You had heard laughs by the camp so moral was rising from the stressful day. You used your cold hands to press to your reddened face from almost getting flattened out by Ed. Daryl would will not be happy about that. You had pulled you feet from the water shaking the water off them to put your shoes on. Then the day got even worse. A scream ripped threw the air making you turn to the sound. You see outlines of figures in the dark. You feel fear crash into you.

'Walkers...'

There were even two coming closer to you from the woods to the side of the water. They had almost snuck up on you if you hadn't looked around because of the scream. A tremble was in your hand as you gripped the knife you had. You slowly back away, hearing gunshots off in the air. Daryl had taught you this for this moment. He had grilled this into you in fear that maybe he wouldn't be around to protect you. The first walker was a thin women, the other a male missing its arm and limping. You lunged the knife into the women's eye. Your knife breaking by the blade as the women fell over dead. The snapping of the metal was like slow motion, the other walker steps away from you. You step back bare feet getting hurt by the jagged rocks. You had looked down spotting a larger rock and hurriedly pick it up.

You remember the motions Daryl had showed you for self defense but had never practiced them with him. He didn't really like the idea of rough housing with his pregnant girlfriend even if it was for your defense. You reached and tugged the one arm the walker had and tripped the thing in the motion. It was flat on the floor about to get back up and grab at you. However, rock in hand you threw downward blows one after another even after the thing stopped moving. Blood splatting all over you shirt and down your arms. The buzz of adrenalin causing your hands to violently shake when you stopped swinging. The urge to cry was strong but you notice the now slue of gunshots that had increased stop. The silence broken by the yell and worried cry for your name.

"Y/N!!!"

Your body fluttered at the sound of Daryl. Still bare foot you ran up the gravel hill and yelling back to him with emotion in your voice, "DARYL!!!" You had made it to the top getting to see him wipe around to your voice. His crossbow dropped to the ground as you both booked it toward each other. He didn't know what to think when he couldn't find you after the last walker fell. The inability to find you cracking a desperate hole into his chest. When he heard you and saw you running to him relief flooded him. As he ran panic rose again seeing you dripping in blood. Inches apart he heard your desperate sobs before crashing into one another. He pulled you off your feet lifting you into him. His voiced stuttered out, "Are you bit?! Are you ok?!" You voice quivering as you sucked in a breath. "I'm alright-t." He felt you shaking like a leaf and whispered into you, "I've got ya, nothin is gonna hurt ya." You had barred your face into his neck now crying in relief. Daryl helped you get cleaned up, that night you clung to him while everyone 'slept'. A moment can change everything, and it was clear to everyone after today.

They were no longer safe here and things were only going to get worse.

Part 3

Feedback welcome and requests open!

taglist

@daryldixmedown @aureolinb @the1eyedmonster16 @lettersfromyourlove @felicisimor

@daryl-dixons-left-hand @sokkasimp101 @darylssextoy69 @ddixon99 @itwasntaphasema

@iluvme9 @lunajay33 @twisteduniverse5 @thestonedwriter

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl imagines #daryl x female reader #daryl x reader #norman reedus #twd daryl #angst #fluff

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aventurineswife · 2 months ago

Note

Hello! I like your headcanons and I would like to suggest an idea. Can I request Jiyan from Wuthering Waves with a reader who was a slave in childhood and still has a barcode on his/her neck? Maybe some hurt/comfort. I just finished Aventurin's quest and it was so sad. I'm sorry if there are mistakes. English is not my native language 💕

Marked Yet Unbroken

Tags: Jiyan x Reader, Headcanons, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Healing, Mentions of Slavery, PTSD, Nightmares, Emotional Support, Protective Jiyan, Comforting Relationship, Empowerment, Slow Burn.

Warnings: Trauma (mentions of past slavery and abuse), Emotional Struggles, Mentions of Violence.

A/N: I always start crying when I remember Aventurine's backstory... 🥺💔 (Tried new style for hcs, i probably won't keep it)

When Jiyan first notices the slave mark on your neck, he doesn’t comment immediately. Instead, his sharp eyes linger for just a moment longer than usual before shifting away. You can tell from his slight frown and clenched fists that he understands its implication but refrains from prying, respecting your boundaries.

Over time, as your bond with Jiyan deepens, he gently shares his own burdens and regrets, like the loss of his mentor Beiwang. It’s his way of inviting you to share your story, making sure you know he sees you as an equal, not as someone to be pitied.

Jiyan becomes fiercely protective of you, though in his usual stoic way. If anyone dares to bring up your past or stare at the mark, his sharp eyes silence them instantly. His commanding aura makes it clear you’re under his protection.

Despite his reputation as the "Qingloong," Jiyan has a tender side that he reserves for you. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, he’ll sit beside you in quiet solidarity, offering his presence without forcing you to speak. On rare occasions, he’ll gently trace the outline of the mark with his thumb, silently reassuring you that it doesn’t define you in his eyes.

Jiyan is no stranger to nightmares, and when he finds you trembling after a bad dream, he’ll stay by your side, holding your hand and whispering quiet reassurances. His steady voice and warmth feel like a shield against the shadows of your past.

Jiyan admires your resilience, often marveling at how you’ve endured so much yet found the strength to keep moving forward. He sees the barcode as a mark of survival, not shame, and will remind you of that whenever your confidence wavers.

The first time you show him the full story behind the slave mark—sharing the horrors of your childhood—Jiyan listens intently, his usually calm demeanor giving way to a rare flicker of visible anger. He doesn’t press for details, but his quiet vow to ensure your safety is clear in his gaze.

Jiyan offers to teach you self-defense or combat techniques if you're willing. Though he respects your past, he also wants you to feel empowered and never trapped again. His training sessions are intense but filled with patience, and he always gives subtle praise when you make progress.

When you’re ready, Jiyan helps you create new memories to reclaim your life. Whether it’s through walks under the stars, sparring together, or quiet evenings reading or practicing medicine, he ensures you feel like your present and future are yours to shape.

Jiyan may not be the most openly affectionate person, but his actions speak volumes. He’ll cook your favorite meals (even if he’s not a great chef), surprise you with small gifts like medicinal herbs or trinkets he thinks you’d like, and ensure you have a safe place to rest whenever the weight of your past feels too heavy.

In a deeply intimate moment, Jiyan crafts a teal silk ribbon, inspired by the Qingloong. He ties it gently around your wrist, telling you it’s a symbol of your strength and freedom. “This,” he says softly, “is who you are now. Not what they tried to make you.”

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raghhhhhyperfixations · 11 days ago

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Why do Batman fans so often want him to be a psychopath?

Genuinely don’t know what post made me seem like i hate bruce BUT i’m happy to explain the propaganda and hate around Batman and bruce!

So as everyone is aware the ‘batfamily’ kicked off in the early 90s (1940) googles say and so forth came alive, the batfamily!

Nightwing was the first and at age around 16 (I believe anyway feel free to correct me if i’m wrong), he ran off due to a fight with Bruce regarding situations and was FIRED, bruce FIRED him but this also fed alive nightwing who appeared when Dick was nineteen, he did try and be robin again but disliked it so returned to nightwing.

Now nightwing is a kryptonian superhero or legend, or two birds, flamebird and nightwing so the name is inspired by clark. (again feel free to correct me if i’m wrong.)

We move onto Jason, now by popularity vote he was widely disliked but he had been added into the media because ‘robin was needed’ idfk, so they killed him off and tried a couple of other robins.

Like stephanie brown, duke thomas but they didn’t exactly hit it off.

UNTIL tim drake came, now he wasn’t just ‘pushing his way into the position.’ funnily enough he tried to get nightwing to become robin who adamantly refused and the job was just given to him and he was like ‘huh, okay.’

and we all know damian anyway.

So this leads to your question ‘why do people hate bruce?’

Honestly if i were to answer by my own beliefs i’d say it’s because they hate the way he treated his children repeatedly .

So it built up the idea of ‘he’s an abuser’ when in reality he’s got mental health issues, WAS A TEEN DAD, HE WAS A TEEN WHEN HE ADOPTED DICK and seeing jason probably further ruined his mental stability.

Bruce is a good guy but he just doesn’t know how to be a good father is my opinion on him, he’s the ‘i’m trying.’

So in a lot of my posts he might seem more pushy, takeback, to the sudden sweetness, because he’s trying to find a line.

And a lot of batman fans don’t seem to know Batman can be on that line of ‘he’s a father that’s good and bad.’ like he ruined his relationship with Jason let’s not lie, but Jason does love him, it’s just extremely strained, under the red hood is a good example of Jason STILL wanting to be bruce’s son after everything.

But he and dick aren’t ‘as close’ as people think either, that’s his first son, the one he made the first mistakes with, the one he kicked out, fired, of course their relationship is all cracks underneath the seams.

So yes people hate him because he’s a ‘terrible father’ more often then not and not have any other reason.

He’s a good hero and realistically a father on the line of trying.

My best response to this question anyway, i don’t know if i came across if i hated him or if i didn’t but i don’t, i’m aware Bruce has issues and he never sorted those.

I’m aware he can’t be entirely blamed so why be angry with him? you need to remember he did try and attempt dick to stop being robin in like multiple shows and that little brat was like ‘you aren’t my dad’ and then proceeds to beat a fully 5’0 guy with just his hands alone.

He’s tired atp.

and with how the media portrays bruce now adays he comes off rude and cold.

But some good shows where his character is actually almost canon for once are - batman brave and the bold, justice league animated and some of the older batman shows.

He cares guys, he just doesn’t know how to show it :)

UPDATE: realised i reread the question wrong, a commenter explains it perfectly

#bruce wayne #jason todd #dcu #dc comics #batman #red hood #answering questions #ask away #in the fomments #batman debate #nightwing #richard grayson #dc robin #batfam #damian wayne #batfamily

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numberoneredriotfan · 2 months ago

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Tw: Mentions of child abuse and sa

Mitsuki Bakugou is such an interesting character to me... I know everyone is always quick to either defend or accuse her (of abuse), but honestly, I don't think her treatment of Bakugou is a black and white topic.

First point, I know the show frames Bakugou's violent nature as something that's been apart of him since he was a kid. Like, he was just born like that of course!

It is somewhat pictured this way in team up missions. But let's be honest, children grow up following their parents as an example. I don't like the whole excuse that the only reason Mitsuki is violent towards Bakugou bc Bakugou is violent towards her. Why is he violent towards her?? It's completely plausible that Mitsuki was violent and aggressive even before Bakugou was born, and Bakugou somewhat led by her example. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you know?

This scene in particular is interesting. People who defend Mitsuki are often quick to say that, well, he was yelling at her, so of course she hit him!

First off... your child lashing at you should not be an excuse to hit them. Bakugou was just yelling here, he didn't make any violent threat or action towards he. And, it's also good to note that before this, she had hit Bakugou for literally no reason...

Like... we can see here that Bakugou was just sitting there quietly. He even looks a little dejected (understandable considering what he had just gone through). This slap was completely unprovoked??? Of course, this is played off for laughs, but it really gives you an insight on their dynamic. And just after Mitsuki hit him, Bakugou even exclaimed "that hurt!" (In the english dub) ....prompting her to hit him again, as I showed above. This is obviously concerning. And yes, you can argue that dealing with Bakugou's violent and aggressive nature simply wore her out to this point, but again, where do we draw the line with using physical violence against your child?? Does being bratty excuse it?? Does having good intentions excuse it?? What excuses it?? It becomes really hard to justify it when you ask yourself those questions.

Bakugou also makes these comments when they're trying to win over the Masegaki kids... confirming that Mitsuki used violence towards him even as a young child.

Furthermore, Mitsuki isn't painted in the best light even outside of Bakugou... some people may disagree, but Masaru and Mitsuki don't seem to have a healthy marriage. At all. In fact, it seems to be almost abusive to an extent.

This seems to be the normal dynamic in the Bakugou household. Which um. Isn't healthy in the slightest. It's ALSO implied that Mitsuki forced herself on him...

"So you couldn't refuse her." Hello?

I will address that Masaru is blushing in that panel, so it could be seen that Masaru was reciprocating with Mitsuki's "flirtations" but still, "pounced" is an interesting choice of words. This is also played off for comedy because we all know how well shounen treats male sa victims.

She also goes as far to say-

Mitsuki is blatantly victim blaming here. Even if she wasn't being serious, or putting on a front for the teachers, this is a horrible things to say to your son who just went through something traumatizing. It's often ignored because of his brash nature, that Bakugou is still a kid. He was only fifeteen or sixteen at the time he was kidnapped. He has to live with the burden of feeling like he was the reason for his idol's fall. That is a LOT of turmoil for a kid to go through. Imagine you're in the midst of dealing with all that, and your mom insinuates that it's YOUR fault. That's awful. Even if Mitsuki was putting on a front, how was Bakugou supposed to know that??

So, it's pretty obvious that the way Mitsuki treats Bakugou is abuse. But, does mean that Mitsuki doesn't care about Bakugou?? No. Of course not. She loves her son, and it's clear she does. To us, at least.

We see her affectionately looking at her son's photo album.

She admits that she was worried about him while loving ruffling his hair.

She absentmindedly thinks about how he isn't a fan of rain when he's away.

Mitsuki loves Bakugou. There's no doubt about that. But unfortunately, kids will only ever see how their parents present themselves towards them. We can see that Bakugou was present when Mitsuki admitted that she was worried about him, but that was still after she had hit him and victim blamed him. And Bakugou in that panel... almost looked used to it. Used to receiving hits and used to having her do a motherly gesture every now and then, giving him mixed signals. That must be a very stressful way to grow up.

Yes, we can blame Bakugou's quirk, how everyone hyped him up for his current behavior... but if we dig a bit deeper, are those really the only reasons he was so violent towards others?? Or is it possible that he was subconsciously mimicking his mother's behavior?? This does NOT excuse Bakugou's behavior, but it does help put things into perspective.

I think that while Mitsuki loves her son, Bakugou will always have conflicting feelings towards her, and that may end up with their relationship being strained as he reaches adulthood.

Honestly, it's concerning how when dealing with the Todoroki family, Horikoshi portrayed Endeavor's abuse in a serious light, showing how it impacted Todoroki and the family. But Mitsuki, her abuse towards her son is consistently plays off for laughs. As a gag of sorts. That's the common pattern when we see Mitsuki act that way towards Bakugou, it's always framed in a comedic light. Why is that when it's a conventionally attractive woman doing the abuse it's funny?

I have thoughts on Masaru too, but that's a whole other post... so for now, I'll say that Masaru is also complicit in Mitsuki's treatment towards Bakugou, but also a victim of his wife.

You are feel free to have a different take on Mitsuki, but this is how I read her character.

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #bakugou mitsuki #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #mha critical #masaru bakugou #bakugou katsuki

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sweetflanfiction · 3 months ago

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Asymetrical Symphony - Part 18

Universe: Arcane (LOL)

Pairing: Viktor x reader

Summary: You had been on the rooftop with Jayce and the Herald and somehow you were sent to a place where things can be different with your help

A.N: Two days in a row? I hope you like it!

Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11 • Part 12 • Part 13 • Part 14 • Part 15 • Part 16 • Part 17

• ··········· • ············ •

Viktor had once told Jayce that the lab should only be open to two people: him and Jayce. Anyone else was a distraction to their work.

However, as he glanced at you and your focused face as you tried to work on your rune shaping, it had him retracting his statement. Yes, you were a distraction, but Viktor couldn't help but welcome it into the lab. It was as if you had been there since the beginning. The way you lazily draped over the couch or leaned into his table. At some point during some of the past days, he found himself expecting to see you either enter the lab or already sat at your spot.

It was a strange and yet familiar emotion that he had felt once before. When he met Jayce, there was this invisible pull that linked both Piltover’s man of progress and the kid from Zaun, who had stolen an Academy uniform.

They fit together; despite all the bickering and head-butting, they both knew they would be there for each other, whether it was at their highest high or the end of the world. That connective tissue that passed between him and Jayce was made of the strongest alloy in Runeterra.

And then, you came along. When he crossed eyes with your disgruntled figure on the night of the rocket attack, he felt it. The same electricity jolt as when he met Jayce. Small strands were slowly becoming a rope that connected him to you. Even though he didn’t care to understand why, he let the familiar pull of thread manifest. Much like Jayce, your presence was welcomed in his space. And much like Jayce, you quickly found a way to his heart. Even if the space you occupied was entirely different from Jayce’s, you both were a part of him.

He knew you liked sweet tea without sugar or black tea with tons of it. He had caught you humming and singing when you’d been helping keep watch on the lab. He felt the love that you and Esther shared every time both of your eyes met. He learned that you have an expression only for when Jayce annoys you. He was keeping track in his mind of all the places where he had touched you, and you hadn't immediately flinched. He enjoyed it when you called him Vik with a grin on your lips that changed the intonation of his nickname.

And at the present moment, he had learned that he very much enjoyed you calling him 'Professor.' He made his face grow red, and his mind jumped to scenarios it had no business jumping to while he was at the lab.

It didn't stop him from stealing sideways glances at you from his seat at the table. The small twitch of your hand as you spoke the rune, followed by a frustrated frown when the rune didn’t work. The scientist looked at your hands, and his own started to warm as he thought about how well his long fingers intertwined with yours. He chuckled when you groaned at the panel, shaking it in frustration, the old panel rattling at the abuse.

When he sat down next to you after working in the malfunctioning reader, you immediately tucked your feet under his thigh. The sound that escaped him was more of a surprise than disapproval. The gesture was so domestic and comfortable.

You started to quickly shuffle away while he had to consciously make his movements relaxed and nonchalant as he stopped you. His first instinct was to just grab your legs and keep them in place. Lies. His first instinct was to grab your legs and place them in his lap, letting the warmth of you help with his aching bones. He contented himself with keeping your feet warm under his leg.

He enjoyed the silence in the lab, even when Jayce cursed and grumbled on his workstation or when you hammered the little blue crystals from the board. It was a fulfilling calmness. He was surrounded by the machinations of the people he cared about. And as he was lulled into a relaxing state, somewhere in the back of his mind he realized he had no desire to do any more work today. Which wasn’t exactly a bad thing, but it was surprising.

All he wanted to do for the rest of his workday was to sit on this heavenly upholstered couch absorbing your heat while listening to Jayce tinker away angrily.

You groaned in frustration once more, and he wrapped his hand around your knee, drawing soothing circles on it. You didn’t acknowledge it, and when he looked at you, he saw a line between your eyebrows, showing your feelings.

In his mind’s eye, an image flashed. Him, leaning down, smoothing that line with his thumb, and then placing a kiss where it showed, while you scrunch your nose in mock protest. It was a clear memory of something that had never happened. It felt like seconds separated that gentle calmness from when chaos broke loose, even though it had been hours.

One moment he was welcoming Sky into the lab, trying to leash Jayce's misplaced anger, and the next their assistant was lying on the floor bleeding.

“Jayce! Go get help!” The broader man nodded and jumped to action, leaving you and him to look after the slightly younger woman.

Viktor's thoughts were running. The quickness of events still not completely sinking in. He had quickly spared a glance at Jayce's table, where a metal ball seemed to have expanded with the heat of Jayce's welding machine. He cursed under his breath and looked back at Sky.

You were gently caressing her head and telling her to breathe, and for a moment Viktor wished he had the people skills to be able to calm someone else down when he was panicking.

He kept applying pressure to the blanket but stopped short when you ripped the glove from your hand, his mouth open to protest. The glow still amazed him. and even though it was faint, it was awe-inducing seeing your fingers shimmer with light.

Before he could finish calling your name, something shifted. Not just in you, but in the room. There was a buzz in his ears, a sudden temperature rise, and his eyes watering.

As he tried to adjust to this weird atmospheric change, you abruptly shoved the blanket away from Sky's midsection. An almost feral move, making him almost lose the precarious balance he had managed on the floor.

Your hand gripped the place where the woman had been hurt as if you were trying to tear that piece of her out. There was something artificial in your movements, like something was doing it for you.

The hand you placed on the injuries turned charcoal black, and the white uniform his assistant wore started to look like it was being burned, small holes rimmed with an incandescent orange glow appearing on it. His eyes widened, scared it was burning Sky, but the girl only whimpered, and when he tried to look closer, only her uniform was melting.

The black on your hand started to grow, small black lines climbing your arm, and with the little Viktor knew about anatomy, it seemed like it was flowing upwards through your veins.

He called your name, and whatever looked back at him was not you. Your welcoming eyes were cold and unfeeling; he would dare to go as far as angry. They reminded him of a cat eye with a blue glow light reflecting in the pupils. Viktor quieted down as you kept staring at him coldly, searching for something in his face, and when he tried to call your name again, you only tilted your head. From the corner of his eye, he saw three red dots appear on the front of your clothing, mirroring Sky’s injuries. He tried to call out to you, but when you blinked, he saw the warmth in your eyes come back. You gasped in pain, and you slumped over, laying face down on the floor.

There were a couple of seconds before Viktor's brain restarted to focus. He looked down at Sky’s burned uniform and noticed three small red healed scars, and then his eyes shifted to the pool of blood starting to come from under you. He shuffled quickly towards you right before Jayce burst in the door with several enforcers. His partner's face was a mask of confusion and disorientation, but Viktor shook his head. Not the time.

"We need to get them to the hospital," Viktor said, still sitting weirdly on the floor, and Jayce quickly nodded.

Viktor's heartbeat was becoming faster by the second. He had been scared. For a moment he had been scared. Not for you, but of you.

• ··········· • ············ •

@marshy-moo @victormydarling @blueesmiski @th3stup1dcat @22carolina08 @httpstes @that-one-shitty-blog @disa-pointment @sseleniaa @moons-lighttrail @aysluxe @fae-doodle @kitewa @local-mr-frog @bakusquadobsessed @cherry-cola-100 @optimistic-but-very-realistic @seeksrsnn @thecordelialetters @notsaelty @lansy-4 @ayupfrogg @sammypotato @wnbrw @lucycarlisleswife @noxturnalmoth @ren-ren23 @furblrwurblr @kapitankarate @mynicknameisgasoline @octo-octopie @birbwithhat @kneelarmhstrung @dedicated2viktor @elvishstudies

#arcane #viktor #arcane viktor #viktor x reader #arcane x reader #viktor arcane #viktor arcane x reader #slow burn #viktor x you #viktor x y/n #arcane viktor x reader #viktor league of legends #arcane season 2 #arcane x you #arcane reader

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faggot-greg-house · 1 year ago

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lets talk abt house and empathy. the general perception of house is that he's hypoempathetic and generally doesn't care about people. however i would argue very distinctly that he cares TOO much and feels TOO MUCH empathy!!

this is my second post in a row talking abt john house but THINK abt his childhood! they moved around constantly, so he likely never got a chance to make friends as a kid. his dad abused him and his mom let it happen. for a kid who cared so much about the people around him, that would kill him!!!! it's highly likely that he initially developed his "antisocial tendencies" as a protective mechanism so that people couldn't hurt him by leaving or by actually hurting him.

on top of that, he says that he became a doctor essentially because he saw a guy who was treated horribly and yet people still needed him when it came to medicine. it makes a lot of sense to me that a young greg house would feel deeply for that man AND see himself in him. he also talks about how the appeal of his job is solving puzzles - but there are lots of other jobs where that would work!!! he could have become a detective (acab but w/e), a computer scientist, etc etc. instead he chose a career where he SAVES people.

house doesn't talk to patients because he doesn't want them to become real to him, because then he'll care too much. a puzzle is a puzzle and a puzzle doesnt need feelings or morality, but when he has to come face to face with a patient, it becomes a situation where he can start to feel for them and care about them. this is commented on multiple times in the show but notably in the episode with the doctor in antarctica, who he cares very deeply about by the end.

i also firmly believe that house is autistic, like its nondebatable to me, and i think that he doesn't instinctively know how to read social cues, which is why he's so obsessed with patterns. he's memorized what emotions look like on other people, and he's memorized the typical behaviors of the people around him (e.g. wilson's ties, stacy's cross) and that's how he can read their emotions. if he doesn't connect to a patient he can't necessarily feel their emotions as strongly, he has no chance to learn their reactions!!

#hate crimes md #house md #gregory house #child abuse #autistic greg house #i'm autistic and house is autistic i'll die on this hill #i posted this while sitting in the er #because i am so brainrotted #my thoughts

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pit-and-the-pen · 1 year ago

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2

Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.

Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!

Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood

WC: 9.6K

Read the previous parts here

[prologue] [chapter 1]

Next Part [here]

“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.

“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.

“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.

“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.

“Why?” She asks sharply

I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.

“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.

“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.

“But why do they hate each other so much?”

“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Why?” She would not let up.

“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.

“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.

“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.

It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”

“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”

“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,

“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.

Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.

It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.

I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.

Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.

“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.

“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.

“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.

“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.

“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.

“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”

“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.

I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.

We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.

Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.

She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.

“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.

---------------------

Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.

“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.

We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.

“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.

We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.

Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.

He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.

Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled

Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.

Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.

Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”

“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.

“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.

Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”

“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.

Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.

“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.

I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.

Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”

Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.

Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”

“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.

“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.

“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.

“That bad?”

“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”

“Go on?”

“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”

“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”

“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite

“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.

“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.

We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.

I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.

“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.

“You were strong.”

“Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.

We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.

“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.

I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.

---------------------

I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.

I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.

“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.

We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.

“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.

“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.

Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.

“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.

“I think I’m done.” I panted out.

“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.

The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.

---------------------

A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.

I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.

I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,

“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.

I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.

“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.

“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.

I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.

It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.

“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.

Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.

I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.

So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.

“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.

“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.

“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”

“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.

“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.

“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.

“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.

We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.

“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.

“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.

Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.

“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.

Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.

---------------------

“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.

“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.

“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.

“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.

“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”

“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.

“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”

“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”

“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.

“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.

“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.

“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.

“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.

Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.

“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.

“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”

“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.

“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.

“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.

In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.

I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.

My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”

Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.

Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”

Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I

“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.

“She’s free.” She repeated to me.

“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.

Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.

When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.

”We’re going home.”

If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.

”Are you serious Cas?”

”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.

”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”

After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”

Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.

”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.

”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.

Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.

Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.

”I promise we won't bite.”

Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.

”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.

Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.

”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.

”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.

’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.

”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.

I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.

”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.

”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.

”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.

Next Chapter: Here

Taglist: @durgenyx @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acowar #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #inner circle #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand #feysand #rhys!sister

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velvette-hussle · 2 months ago

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HAZBIN HOTEL’S MESSY HANDLING OF THE NATURE OF VICTIMHOOD & SEXUAL MISCONDUCT (a probably incredibly nitpick-y rant, but I don’t give a fuck)

⚠︎TW: Discussions of Sexual Assault & Sexual Harassment & making rudimentary comparisons between Angel Dust and Valentino. ⚠︎

I really wish that the show had allowed for more nuanced discussion when it comes to the topic of victims and victimhood.

Like, victims can also be wrong, they can be perpetrators of crimes and violence also. People are allowed to dislike a victim of something; no one should be obligated to tolerate someone else’s bad (or even just annoying) behavior because that person has also been hurt. Victims can be depicted and portrayed in a bad light and still have their victimhood acknowledged and empathized with while also still being “bad people” or having done something to victimize somebody else in their pain or trauma, and having that be acknowledged also. Neither of these ideas automatically cancel each other out, they more so exist in a forever winding feedback loop (at least that’s how I see it) until someone is able to “healthily” unpack their trauma.

Then, on top of the show just completely not treating victimhood like a scale, the narrative also can’t decide when it wants to treat abuse and/or sexual assault or harassment as a serious topic that it wants to respectfully address or if it wants to treat these things as something to laugh at and find funny or make brief gag jokes out of that diminishes the potential seriousness of a scene.

EX: Valentino licking Charlie in “greeting” during their first meeting is played as a funny gag joke (like the music beat doesn’t turn sinister until he looks back at Angel because Val technically wasn’t on the defensive yet since he didn’t know who Charlie was there for) BUT how Valentino purposely decides to touch Angel Dust on his chest after he explicitly says not to touch him is treated as disrespectful and disgusting as it is.

Like, these are the same fucking disrespectful behaviors. But anytime Valentino does some fuck shit to anyone other than Angel it’s played for a joke (outside of when Angel was worried for Nifty, kind of), despite the fact that when Val does it to Angel nearly the exact same thing is played seriously.

PART ONE: STATIC VICTIMHOOD

When Valentino first meets Charlie and licks her arm he’s pushing a boundary for his own amusement - and, given the theory(?) that his saliva produces some sort of aphrodisiac, probably attempting to “mellow her out” so to say as well. He can’t kill Charlie, he’s smart enough to know that at least, but apparently everyone knows that she’s a pushover and so he can assert a level of dominance over Charlie by licking her to make her uncomfortable, and to lord over the fact that he was able take some tiny bit of her autonomy away like that, then verbally flustering her (further knocking her off kilter so she’s easier to manipulate) by propositioning her.

There is a direct parallel in this type of boundary pushing behavior (specifically of a sexual nature) that Angel does as well, it’s just not born of the same thing that Valentino’s is. Where Val makes people uncomfortable and domineers them as a way to disarm them and make them easier to manipulate for his own satisfaction, Angel does it as a form of deflection so that he feels like he has more power than he actually does. It’s a defense mechanism, but an incredibly unhealthy one (which is normal).

The show had an opportunity with this parallel to comment on how both versions (albeit to different levels) are bad, but it didn’t. Now, you can certainly infer that Angel was being incredibly rude and inconsiderate when he was constantly coming onto Husk despite the other’s clear dislike for it and how uncomfortable it made him by how once they become friends in “Masquerade” that harassment just stops, but forcing an audience to infer character development and story messages is not good writing the way it’s done in the show. Angel just stops entirely without any discussion or hint at the unfavorable parallel which means that there is no lesson to be learned from its existence. The emphasis on “this is a bad action too, despite Angel being a victim” is not there, it’s only treated like incredibly unacknowledged character development that’s only actually considered as legitimate because the fans are over-analyzers. How quickly his behavior is brushed aside without proper (or any) acknowledgment is ignoring an actual issue instead of addressing it and then acting as if the issue was never there in the first place.

We know why Angel stopped harassing Husk but not why his harassment was bad in the first place. The audience knowing about a topic that’s briefly touched and filling in blanks does not mean that the show was written well. The harassment is played like a joke until it disappears, not played like a joke (specifically when Angel is the harasser) until someone calls him out on it fully and he apologizes and then he stops.

As far as the show is concerned, the problem isn’t that Angel purposely makes people uncomfortable (in a similar, but still more understated, manner to Valentino) as a form of deflection and posturing, it’s that he’s fake. There’s a difference there. What the show actually does is erase that bad behavior instead of objecting to it, which I’d be willing to bet has led to some - especially younger - fic writers copying Angels unhealthy behavior within the framework that it’s just “flirting” and not a direct crossing of other characters’ boundaries.

You have to make shit like that explicit in a show where you’re claiming to be seriously and respectfully tackling these subjects. No one should be allowed to get a pass for things that on another character would be viewed as morally reprehensible just because they’re a main character/a part of the core Hotel cast, this confuses the storytelling and messages. Just because a few people in the audience know an action is wrong and then will apply further insight onto it themselves does not mean that the show itself accomplished that same amount of introspection, and in Hazbin’s case that’s exactly what happened. The show is being praised for something that it did not do. If parts of the audience did not already know that Angel harassing Husk was bad (despite the fact that it’s played for laughs every time, and once during “Masquerade” in a way that’s supposed to make the audience feel bad for Angel alone) then they’d come out of season one not thinking twice about the way Angel harassed Husk; Husk who eventually gets so fed up with Angel’s constant barrage of unwanted advances that he began dreading anytime Angel would say something even remotely suggestive and so tried to anticipate his innuendos so that he could cut Angel off before he could even start. The people who couldn’t understand past what the show was telling them (through its framing of characters and their actions) was “right” and what was “wrong” wouldn’t’ve picked up on the fact that Angel is being a problem when he harasses Husk because he’s sexually harassing him and that it’s not cute or proper flirting or just “wrong” because it’s a negative coping mechanism for Angel to have or any of that shit.

Also, the overall issue is framed as if Angel’s actions are only self destructive and that’s why they’re bad: Angel acting “fake” as a defense mechanism in order to give himself some semblance of power and autonomy back over to himself because of how thoroughly he frequently gets it stripped away by Valentino. That self destruction is only shown through the lens of pity though, there is no mild scolding involved outside of telling Angel he’s got issues. Him harassing Husk and Alastor is never framed as a problem specifically because you’re meant to laugh every time it happens and because Alastor shoots him down immediately afterwards. The narrative never scolds Angel for harassing Husk because it’s not written well enough to be able to handle both issues, so it just erases the bad thing that doesn’t fit within its narrative that “every victim is a good person” and only focuses on the ways in which Angel’s unhealthy behavior impacts him and puts him in danger and is unhealthy and unfair to him.

Acknowledging the fact that self destructive behavior isn’t good or healthy, especially while also still validating whatever circumstances led the person to such behavior, is great! Now just also acknowledge that that self destruction is not without its risks to the people around the victim as well. If Husk wasn’t the way he was, and the show wasn’t the way it was, he could’ve come out of his interactions with Angel having been victimized by Angel, and he wouldn’t be fucking wrong in not wanting anything to do with Angel after he’s become Angel’s sounding board to lash out at and sexually harass to make himself (ie: Angel) feel better.

This is coming from someone who has experienced both sexual harassment and assault and who has non-“good victim” tendencies as a result of those experiences and a few other things too, by the way. In my experience, verbal (sexual) harassment is not given the same weight as physical harassment and sexual assault or rape. It just isn’t. Most people can’t even see verbal abuse as anything but a mild inconvenience and, while they will scold and be disapproving of the perpetrator, the majority of the weight of ending or not “encouraging” the harassment is still put on the person on the receiving end to be able to “rise above” and ignore and “get over” everything, or to “stop enticing” their harasser. Excuses for the perpetrator often sound like: “It’s just a harmless catcall they didn’t even touch you” or “well they’re going through something bad too so just give them a break” or “it’s just flirting” or “they just like you”. The mental damage that someone takes from their being verbally sexual harassed not being taken seriously at all, but them still feeling horrible about it, can cause people to feel weak for having those feelings at all and tends to lead to them staying silent and just learning to deal with the harassment; harassment that often leads to assault. An instance of verbal harassment cannot then repeatedly be played for a joke in a show that is claiming credibility and claiming that it is handling sexual assault and abuse properly and with respect. As a result people will overlook one form of harassment to focus in and condemn another, leaving the other - seemingly lesser - thing to be left up to interpretation or not internalized as also a problem as well, because that’s what the show did.

There could’ve been discussion about how even as a victim people’s unhealthy coping mechanisms can still pose a problem to others. Being a victim of something or someone cannot excuse that person themselves’ bad behavior, and that’s a dangerous mindset to not dissuade and to subconsciously push. We can empathize with Angel (since this is an adult show all of us should have the ability to understand this duality) and still acknowledge, with the same weight that we do his abuse, Angel’s own messy behavior. You can’t just be allowed unchecked to show sexual assault as bad and then leave the clear sexual (albeit verbal) harassment that’s being shown without a moral, because then the issue just gets dropped and you’re ignoring another (even more common) form of abuse.

My first time watching “Masquerade” I found myself empathizing with Angel even though I hadn’t (and still haven’t) attached to his character in any significant way; I’d also long since grown uncomfortable (and felt stupid) about not feeling good when knee jerk reacting to Angel harassing Husk by laughing at my tv though, and neither of those feelings cancel out the other. Around the time that you could tell that Husk was genuinely bothered when they were doing the trust fall exercise is when the joke fully stopped being funny for me. I know that Husk cutting off Angel to say: “I swear to fuck, if you say dicks…”, wasn’t meant to be Husk feeling uneasy around Angel (it was just to show him being fed up with Angel’s hyper sexuality in a “funny” way) but that in no way stopped the reaction from pinging uncomfortably in my mind regardless. It stuck with me so well, even, that when Vaggie told Husk that he had to be the one to deal with Angel after Angel’s outburst/breakdown I instantly objected; as far as I was concerned after Husk (even after repeatedly being harassed after expressing his dislike for said harassment) asked Angel if he wanted to talk and then Angel not only went to harrass Husk again but then also lashed out at him after Husk rightly rejected him Angel was no longer his problem anymore.

That’s not to say that I don’t think Angel deserved to be given some leeway or deserved not to be forgiven or that someone shouldn’t have gone to make sure he was okay in general, but even now I still don’t think it should’ve been Husk that had to go run after him and cheer him up. Especially considering the fact that Husk isn’t the one sponsoring Angel, and Charlie actively says that she’s to blame for Angel’s sensitivity at that moment; Charlie’s a big girl I don’t see why, even with her feelings being a little hurt, she couldn’t have gone and made an actual effort to make amends then, and when I first watched the episode that’s what I though was going to happen. Husk did not provoke Angel there on purpose or with malicious intent after he realized Angel wasn’t doing well, Angel just did not want that kindness at the moment in the way that it was being offered (which does happen) and maybe he didn’t trust the kindness due to trust issues he has from Valentino either, but that does not excuse his behavior and only serves to explain it. Forcing Husk to then go deal with and cheer up the dude that’s been repeatedly harassing him and not taking him up on his offers to connect didn’t rub me the right way. Yes, people shouldn’t give up on their friends or loved ones too quickly when they’re lashing out after having gone through a rough event, but 1.) Husk and Angel aren’t friends and Husk is in fact only at the Hotel at all because he’s being forced to stay in the first place, and 2.) other people are not obligated to put up with someone else lashing out at them regardless of if that someone else is hurting, period.

If we were to be given backstory on Valentino that shows that he was a sex slave worse than Angel is when he was human - no freedom from his “work” ever, had to sleep in a cage, was treated like an animal, and was constantly literally shackled and shit - none of that would suddenly erase what he’s done to Angel or spontaneously make it “okay” because Valentino’s only acting out due to trauma, no matter how much you might feel for him after learning that. That’s not how that should work, where because you’ve been a victim once you can now never be held accountable for any wrong actions you perpetrate again or some shit.

Like, Angel Dust is still a bad person, he is just also a victim of abuse and rape. He fully, alongside Vaggie, was more than prepared to murder Sir Pentious despite the fact that he was no longer a threat by the time that he’d been found out as a mole and they all saw him be left for dead and then begin to cry, and despite what the Hotel was even made for. This is a character trait of Angel’s (ie: how easily he’ll kill & the few hints of his past in the mob) that’s presented pretty neutrally though, and is never really something that Charlie or the show paints as bad within the context of the show’s morals (or even as something the characters should stop doing in order to be able to repent).

All of which just kind of add to the show’s (and all Vivziepop properties in general) tendency to mix messages. When Angel does something bad it’s funny because the narrative said so, but when a one off character does something similar to what he did (because that character isn’t supposed to be liked) now all of a sudden that same action from earlier will be framed as horrible. This back and forth then directly leads into the show framing rape and sexual harassment and abuse as bad only until they can be framed as funny.

PART TWO: ARE RAPE JOKES FUNNY OR NOT?

My - and other people’s - anger and/or disappointment is not rooted in the assumption that we all missed Angel and Husk’s relationship development; and also if a lot of people/the show’s creators are claiming that a show has good representation (no matter what type) people are going to test that out for themselves, and Hazbin does come up lacking in regards to the back and forth way that it both treats SA seriously and then turns around seconds later to turn SA into a gag joke and not treat it seriously.

The issue is not that Angel was harassing people in general, but that it was not treated narratively like an issue in regards to how he continually sexually harassed Husk and the show never treated it as anything but a funny recurring joke. We know why Angel acts like that, yes, but the reasoning doesn’t excuse his behavior, it only explains it, and at no point does his harassment get properly addressed.

He never apologizes for harassing Husk or lashing out at him when Husk was not the actual source of his pain; the show decided to just forget this and have Angel not do it again - I suppose since he became more comfortable with everyone at the Hotel and no longer felt the need to act anymore - and also have Husk comfort Angel without bringing up how actively uncomfortable we saw Angel make him multiple times for reasons that we as the audience can only infer, which is where people’s problems lie. We’re supposed to laugh at Husk getting uncomfortable by Angel’s pushing unlike when we are shown Angel getting uncomfortable when around Valentino.

Similarly things like Pentious being bodily dragged away after impulsively announcing that he’d have sex with everybody - clearly regretting that choice because he didn’t mean it and as such not giving real consent - are treated like a funny gag for the audience to laugh at instead of the horrible scenario it is too.

Compare that to how seriously Angel’s possible SA at the hands of Valentino is portrayed with a fairly high level of seriousness and then wires do cross. The show does go back and forth on when it wants to take SA and SH seriously and when it doesn’t. Also, Medrano has curated a Fandom of over analyzers fairly purposefully considering all the hidden details and messages/hints Vivziepop shows tend to have in the background of their animated scenes and how often characters vocally tease the audience; just because you don’t want to think about the show that hard or that seriously doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone else is being ridiculous. Plus, the show is handling serious topics, so as such the conversation around those topics are going to be just as serious.

You can say that the target audience for the show should already know that how Angel acted towards Husk before “Masquerade” wasn’t okay, but I’d argue that Angel’s SH of Husk is a much harder thing for a lot of people to wrap their heads around as an actual problem in real life than Valentino clearly maliciously hitting, threatening, and abusing Angel is. Most everybody can clock extreme forms of abuse like that, the things that people will deny and make the most readily accepted excuses for are smaller instances like making others uncomfortable with constant advancements, unwelcome sexual comments, or catcalling and reconciling with the fact that people can renege on their consent even in the middle of a sexual act or that if someone has to wear someone down/pressure them into sex that the sex cannot then be counted as fully consensual.

Physical and parental abuse often work the same way; people can identify when watching tv shows that the over the top smashing bottles and calling kids names and running after them to beat them and break their bones is abuse, but some of those same people won’t count locking a child in a dark room as punishment as abuse or just hitting their child when ‘they really deserve it’ as abuse - or even heavily teasing them or not allowing their child any privacy as abuse. Which is then why depicting these smaller (or less conventional and readily identifiable) acts of abuse and sexual harassment and assault with just as much care as the bigger more obvious examples is so important.

TL; DR: Eight episodes or not it would’ve taken two short lines for the show to properly address Angel’s SH of Husk as a problem (then have Husk forgive Angel in the face of his regret because Husk is understanding enough about his situation, and have Angel own up to his own faults while also not treating victimhood like a ‘get out of jail free card’ to excuse any victim’s bad actions) and they could’ve easily done away with Sir Pentious getting dragged away to have non consensual sex as a joke entirely; then the show wouldn’t be being criticized for having a tonal problem when it comes to how wishy washy it is about which characters SA and SH is taken seriously and which ones aren’t and are treated like a joke, and could then accurately claim to have delved into sexual assault, rape, and rape culture respectfully even as a show focused on comedy.

Anyway, I started and finished this thing in March and April of last year so keep that in mind, I guess. Also, mind my repetitiveness; I just wanted to keep the length and not edit any more than I already had fr.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #tw: sa mention #tw: abuse #tw: valentino #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #anti hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel valentino #anti vivziepop #hazbin hotel criticism #to cover all my bases; I don’t want to blindside anybody #anti huskerdust #anti angel dust

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