#and the reason he found out about the misunderstanding was during a party

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Just woke up from a dream where a woman believed she was dating Lan Wangji, who didn't correct this misunderstanding because he didn't know about it. Of course, neither he nor his husband were thrilled when they found out.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[skania]

OnK Chapter 149

I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me because I’m always complaining about Aka’s writing, but…

And I mean it when I say that I expect nothing 😭 This was literally my first ever OnK-related reblog and its tags are more relevant than ever lmao

These, too:

#honestly I didn’t think too hard about any of this during my first read #because the romantic endgame seems so obvious that it kind of discourages guessing lmao #but re-reading these chapters has made me appreciate Aqua’s side of his bond with Akane a lot more

Back when I first got into OnK, I mentioned that Akane was the entire reason I kept reading the manga. I didn’t care about the romantic subplot, found Aqua/Kana extremely obvious and predictable, and Aqua plain boring.

It’s only during my second read that I paid close attention to Akane’s interactions with Aqua and I ended up playing myself into both, caring about Aqua and shipping him with Akane lol

This chapter has made me realize that despite everything, I'm not emotionally invested in whether they end up together or not. I’d prefer it, obviously, because Aqua truly is at his most interesting whenever he’s around Akane, and their dynamic has the best development in the manga (so far).

But it’s just like I said before: If they don’t end up together, that’s just Aka’s loss, not mine. I’m just here for Akane ����

And as an Akane fan, I feel like the best thing for me to do right now is to just take a step back and watch things unfold, because Aka will do whatever he wants regardless of how any of us interpret his manga lol

So instead of posting the long post I originally wrote about this chapter when the leaks came out, I'll just share a a clown gif because in hindsight it was silly of me to expect Kana out of all people to have any sort of meaningful insight into Aqua 🤡

And a couple of things that caught my eye because I can't help myself:

Kana didn't even see Aqua and Akane have any sort of meaningful moment, just those two standing in each other's vicinity was enough to make her throw herself a pity party. How many more times is she going to pity herself and give up? How has Aka not tired of writing her this way? Where did her development from the Scandal arc go? 🤡

So Chapter 147 featured Kamiki thinking Ai doesn't love him and Kana thinking Aqua likes her. It even had a helpful "Cut 139: Misunderstanding" panel and everything. Will this mean something? Who knows!

Kana used guilt-trip! It was super effective!

Oh the irony! Poor Akane looks like she's been hard at work convincing herself that she's over Aqua. And you know what? I cheer for her and respect her energy 100%. I'd rather see her doing her mightiest to help him without any ulterior motives than to have her crying for him and hoping to get back with him every other chapter lol

Akane calling Kana out for her pity-party and for being cowardly was so cathartic that if I didn't already stan her, I'd have become a fan right now 😭 It also means that Aka is 100% aware of the way he writes Kana, so when will she finally be allowed to grow?

Kana's praise to Akane made me so sad though because yes, Akane is pretty and she's talented and she's kind. That's sweet of her to say. But that's not what made Akane someone special to Aqua: it was the way she understood him. The worst part is that Kana ends her praise by saying that Akane is a "goody-two-shoes" but... that's the opposite of how Akane views herself. She sees herself as someone who's not decent and not normal. So it's no wonder that while she gets flustered (it's her dear kana-chan praising her), she seems to get a bit sad/frustrated afterward. After all, for Akane it's probably the opposite. Men would prefer a decent, normal, bright girl like Kana - Aqua included.

I wish someone would tell Akane that she is too ignorant of her own charms and that she doesn't have to act like an adult all the time. Truly the pot calling the kettle black! Sadly, unlike Kana, Akane seems to have no one in her corner in this manga. Aqua was the only one there and the poor guy is barely even a character anymore lol

Overprotective mother or controlling ex-girlfriend? Take your pick!

The English translation left something pretty important out in these panels. Akane doesn't just say "if you have a girlfriend", she says "if you have a precious/important girlfriend". This distinction is very important because it goes to show that... as expected, Akane doesn't think she was an important girlfriend to Aqua. It's like she didn't count and Kana would be the real deal. Oh, Akane...

Which takes me to her very silly, very convoluted yet very predictable plan (in true Aka fashion).

When Akane thinks “I know exactly what you hate”, I imagine she means that Aqua hates hurting and endangering those he cares for. So I'm guessing Akane thinks that if she plays matchmaker and quite literally throws Kana at him, someone he has a soft spot, then Aqua won't be able to go through with his revenge because that would mean breaking Kana's very fragile heart.

In other words, it looks like Akane is going to try and use Aqua's guilt-complex against him and her weapon of choice is love. But not her love, obviously, because as far as she's concerned, her romantic love already failed to save him.

Granted, using Kana's romantic feelings to her advantage is kind of... well, wrong. To quote Akane herself, [Kana] is neither her pet nor her property, but a person. But I'm guessing that Akane may be falling victim to the same loophole she got caught in in Chapters 96 - 98. She thinks she knows what's best, so she's putting her own beliefs aside for the time being.

Kind of like Aqua, actually.

And, ironically, it's Aqua himself who first realized how easy Kana is to use.

So! All in all, I'm here for Mastermind!Akane but I hope that Aka will actually make it worth our while. Will Kana realize that she's about to be used as a chess piece in this Proxy War? Who knows, characters in this manga seem to walk in circles, only being allowed to grow when it fits the plot 😂

Last week we wondered whether Aka would subvert expectations or go the predictable route, and down the predictable route he went. His way of making it less predictable is by including a twist in the form of Akane's ulterior motives, but will this be enough to allow this ol' used trope to lead us someplace new? I guess we'll have to keep reading to find out, but given the quality of the writing lately, I'm not expecting much lol

[electronickingdomfox]

"Pawns and Symbols" review

Novel from 1985, by Majliss Larson. An agricultural scientist is kidnapped by Klingons, and she goes on agricultural adventures in the Empire, while her experiences among Klingons are... not that bad, really.

This is one of those novels where the main character is a new introduction, and the Enterprise crew gets the back seat. It's also one of those that present a much more sympathetic portrayal of Klingons. (So that cover blurb totally lies: neither the Klingons are hungry for war, nor Kirk is there all that much). Granted, they still have their agonizers and authoritarian system, but it's rather a case of some rotten individuals or factions creating the problems, while the Klingons as a whole are viewed just as a different, more primitive culture, that feels as threatened by the Federation, as the Federation feels by them. It all boils down to a mutual misunderstanding. At times, in fact, you almost forget they're Klingons, since their behavior is remarkably "human". There are some details about their religion and language, which are a bit weird in certain cases (some of the names sound more Elvish than Klingonese, for example). And their society is also very sexist, to varying degrees depending on the planet. This is one of the major blockades that the heroine encounters and rebels against. I'm not sure why the novels seem to collectively agree that Klingons and Romulans, in particular, are so sexist (I don't remember any such suggestion in the series), but alright. On the other hand, the brief scenes with the Enterprise crew have just a loose connection with the main plot, and may feel disjointed (sometimes, hilariously out-of-character too). However, I found them kind of fun, like some sketch inserted in the middle.

The main character, Jean Czerny, has balls of steel, but is also compassionate and intelligent, despite her occasional short temper. I think she was a likable character, flawed enough so as not to be taken for a Mary Sue. Other character that gets much focus is Kang (the Klingon commander from Day of the Dove). He's not exactly good, not exactly sympathetic, but we can see the reasons why he's doing what he's doing, and there's a certain honor in his actions. Aernath, Jean's friend and a Klingon pretty-boy, is also a complex, interesting character.

So, overall, I kind of liked this story. It doesn't have outstanding writing, and it's not one of the best, but it was a change-of-pace that still manages to feel Trek.

Spoilers under the cut:

Jean Czerny is experimenting with a new type of quadrotriticale in Sherman's planet (from The Trouble with Tribbles), when an earthquake leaves her trapped and the sole survivor at the research station. Klingon commander Kang receives a distress signal and rescues her. But upon learning she's developing a new, more resistant strain of the grain, he refuses to hand her over the Enterprise. As is the Klingon custom, if you save somebody's life, that person and property belongs to the rescuer. Kirk is forced to return to Sherman's planet, as he's trespassing into Klingon territory after pursuing Kang; however, during the brief communication with the Klingon ship, he notices there's something wrong with Czerny's memory. At first, Jean refuses to collaborate with the Klingons and unlock the container of the new quadrotriticale. The Klingons try to force her through starvation, but Aernath, a kinder-than-average Klingon, brings her food in secret. When Kang discovers this treason, he threatens to kill Aernath, but Jean, having befriended him during the past days, stops Kang with the promise of her collaboration. As she has saved Aernath's life, now he's also bonded to her as "property".

Meanwhile, the Enterprise is being diverted by several incidents with the Klingons: first, troops stationed at Sherman's planet attack the landing party that's working at the destroyed facility; then, the ship is lured by a distress signal. Kirk concludes that the Klingons are just staging these incidents to keep them away from Czerny. There are also some fun domestic scenes among the landing party, like Uhura singing a song about Cyrano Jones, or Scotty being great at cooking.

Back with Jean, they've reached the Klingon capital planet (strangely named "Tahrn"), and Kang brings her to a ceremony to present her to the Emperor. While going through the streets, she notices many Klingons with signs of famine, and then understands why Kang needed the quadrotriticale: a plague has destroyed their main crops, and only this new grain is resistant enough to feed the population. Jean gets angry at Kang for not having just explained the situation, as she's willing to do anything to prevent the famine, now that she knows about it. For the following days, Jean and Aernath (who's also an agricultural scientist) work in the development of crops at the capital. She also learns that Kang is going to become the next emperor. While his wife Mara, having developed pro-Federation sentiments after the events of Day of the Dove, has deserted him and gone into hiding.

With their work on Tahrn completed, they stop next at Klairos, a inhospitable planet, where women are also treated very poorly. Hoping to give Jean some sort of protection by means of improving her status, Kang makes her his consort (though he still treats her rather as a servant/slave). Again, Jean completes her work with the crops, saving in the process a caste-less girl from going into some sort of labor camps.

Another cut to the Enterprise. This time, they find a destroyed Romulan ship, with a single survivor that escaped to the nearby planet by shuttle. McCoy and Chekov try to reason with the Romulan, a woman named Reena, but she's terrified by the stories she's heard about the Federation. In a panic, she launches an explosive from the shuttle, which attaches itself to the Enterprise screens and initiates a detonation countdown. As only a Romulan can deactivate the device, McCoy tries some psychology with her (first being casually kind around Reena to gain her trust, and later... bitch-slapping her in the face). McCoy's reasoning is that, as the Romulan will be killed for treason in her Empire if she just deactivates the explosive, they need to give the impression that she was tortured beyond endurance. They bring her aboard the Enterprise, and Spock mind-melds with her, to erase the memory of the "horrible, horrible tortures". After that, Reena agrees to deactivate the explosive. (Also, McCoy's new telekinetic assistant decides to pour a basin of water over his head, just for the lulz). Meanwhile, Chekov and Reena have fallen in love. Yeah, this author has a bit of an obsession about giving EVERYONE a love interest... But anyway, Reena has to depart. In the aftermath of this incident, Kirk discovers that the Romulan ship was destroyed by Klingons (another diversion), and receives a message from Starfleet, that locates Jean at the planet Peneli.

In Peneli, Kang demands the surrender of Mara, who's hiding somewhere there, in exchange for Jean's help against the famine. Aernath, who's been secretly loyal to Mara all this time, averts this by bringing Jean to Mara instead. The rebels have formed a secret organization that desires peace with the Federation. As leverage to force Kang into negotiations, Mara wants to deliver her son Aethelnor (that Kang hasn't met yet) to the Federation. Jean and Aernath are thus tasked with bringing the child into Federation territory.

From here, Jean, Aernath and the kid escape to the planet Tsorn, where women are forced to wear a kind of burka in public. Their contact there, to arrange the trip into Federation space, doesn't show up. But Jean receives a telepathic message from a little, strange animal, which urges them to follow it. The creature brings them to a restaurant, where they're greeted by a Romulan scholar, who's actually... Spock! Through a mind-meld with Jean and Aernath, Spock is informed about the situation, and establishes a temporary link with them. Spock has arranged transport on Cyrano Jones' ship (selling tribbles in the Klingon empire!?). But right before getting aboard, the spaceport guards identify Jean as an alien, despite the burka, and detain her. Spock uses his link with Aernath to force him into Cyrano's ship with the child, as there's nothing they can do for Jean right now.

Jean suffers under the agonizer of the guards. However, through the link, Spock had induced cardiac arrests on her every time the agonizer was used, to spare her the torture (okay, Spock, that's dangerous...). Finally, Kang is informed of Jean's detention and rescues her, though he's very displeased by their plot to force negotiations. Together with Mara, they depart to Sherman's planet, where those negotiations are being prepared.

There's another Enterprise interlude here, where Aernath and Aethelnor get used to living among humans. Sulu gives some shitty indications for Aernath to find a supply room, and the Klingon ends up wandering into a restricted area by accident. Security doesn't believe him, and a few minutes later they're already hitting the poor Klingon (maybe the terrifying stories about the Federation were real after all). McCoy and Spock suspect something is amiss, so they conduct several experiments on Aernath, and conclude that Klingons are color-blind for red, while seeing several colors in the UV range. That's why Aernath hadn't seen the RESTRICTED letters on the door (well, maybe they could have like... locked the damn door, right?).

The final part has Kang having a rendezvous with Kirk to discuss the peace arrangements, during which he presents an hilariously long list of all of Kirk's offenses to the Klingon empire (all of them true, in fact). Anyway, they reach a satisfactory agreement. Kang is reunited with his son and makes amends with his wife. He also frees Jean of her consort status. Aernath and Jean will stay at Sherman's planet developing the quadrotriticale, but Kang makes an offer to Jean to come visit the Empire as her distant relative, if she wishes so, as he has come to respect her as a "worthy Klingon".

There's still the bit about Jean's memory loss that was hinted at throughout the novel. During one of the peace conversations, some of Kirk's words trigger her memories. And it turns out she was a secret agent all along, tasked precisely with the mission of helping the Klingons against the famine (which she inadvertently ended up doing, anyway). The whole stuff is kind of contrived and unnecessary, though.

Spirk Meter: 1/10*. A minimal thing about Kirk not liking to be without his First Officer for long, and Spock feeling the same.

At the very, very end, there's also a Spones moment, where McCoy teases Spock about liking cute creatures like tribbles, and then gives him as a gift one of those telepathic animals that he used with Jean. It's said that McCoy went to great lengths to acquire it, once he learned about Spock's fascination with the creature, and that Spock's face was ample reward for his efforts. Ah, yeah, McCoy also kisses his assistant, absolutely out of nowhere. The assistant's description? Pointy ears and telepathic abilities. It's almost as if he had a type...

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[travalerray]

ship ask meme: xiyao?

thank you for the ask anon!

Ship ask meme

Squick / Just nope / A trainwreck you can’t look away from / Mehh but they are bloody everywhere / Not interested but no negative feelings / I need to see how I could make it work / BroTP / Cute / I love them / They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay

There's something so enchanting about tragic sworn brothers~

“Lan Xichen! All my life, I’ve lied to countless people and I’ve harmed countless others. It’s just like you said. I killed my father, killed my brothers, killed my wife, killed my son, killed my teachers, killed my friends—I’ve committed every crime there is!” He[Jin Guangyao] inhaled deeply, then rasped out, “But never have I ever wanted to hurt you!”

~The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Vol 5

A trainwreck that you can't look away from: This is mostly in reference to the whole fiasco at the Guanyin Temple. Like you bring your not boyfriend away from the Second Siege that could have easily caused a lot of deaths so that you can tenderly part ways with him and leave the country with your mother's dead body? Oh, it all goes to hell, regardless of all your paranoid planning? You get stabbed over a misunderstanding, stabbed by the person who had always trusted you until he found the skeletons in the far back of the closet? You STILL push him away from death? And he lives, lives on, haunted by the fate he can never achieve, haunted till the end of his life, repeating the doomed fate of his parents. LXC survived, but at what cost?

BROTP: They need to be together.

Cute: Mhm, this is more evident in the visual adaptations but the fondness in their body language is so dear to me.

I love them/They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay: MY providing shelter to LXC when he was on the run from the Wen, not even acquainted, but just doing it because that's how he is, MY serving as a spy and choosing to send LXC letters regarding the movements of the enemy troops, LXC and JGY meeting at the lowest points in their lives and attempting to cling onto their relationship made during that time, even with their very different stations in society, LXC being the only one to notice how MY was being treated during the tea party and purposefully drinking from it and thanking him, the two of them working TOGETHER on the watchtower project, LXC believing for all the years that whatever JGY did must have a reason behind them, the utter heartbreak at the perceived betrayal and using his dearly imparted knowledge for the murder of a mutual cherished person (was it? Or did he, LXC, just dream up his hopes and choose not to see? How much did he not see? Could he have prevented all this? What's the worse answer? Does he even want to know?), JGY pushing LXC away from the coffin—everything about them is so beautiful and painful at the same time. They live rent free in my head, stuck at the beautiful line from both the donghua and live action, "Stay here and die with me, er-ge"

[sliceroftpeirweirisles]

Whumpuary 2024 Day 5

5. (Jan 09-10)

Can't move / "Stay. Please" / Kidnapped

“Y-you gotta listen, this is all just a big– huge misunderstanding!” Merle tries to bargain. The dwarf is currently being taken somewhere in this Pan-forsaken world, arms bound behind his back. “I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt anyone, I swear!” 

The crew of the Starblaster had been on plenty of planets now where magic was never practiced until The Light showed up. This planet, however, was dramatically different. People who used magic here were considered criminals. Any and all magic used was punishable by death. 

Merle had been on a particularly rough journey to find The Light, accompanied by a few locals who were willing to help out. They’d heard Merle’s tales of The Light, and how it was more than important that it was recovered by their crew’s hands and not the hands of the leaders here. If in the wrong hands on this planet, The Light would be lost and their whole world was doomed. 

Unfortunately, during this quest, the peacekeepers of this land found Merle using magic. He was trying to heal a fallen party member. They immediately thought Merle was killing the innocent villager, and Merle was kidnapped for punishment. There was no reasoning when it came to the guards.

“I wasn’t hurting anyone, I swear,” Merle mumbles as he tries to shift his weight to get comfortable. The peacekeepers had haphazardly chucked Merle into the back of a wagon, and with the injuries he’d sustained from being captured, he was finding it hard to get comfortable. 

“Silence, dwarf.” Spoke one of the peacekeepers, a half-orc man with intimidating red eyes. “You should have known that you would get caught using magic eventually, traitor. That poor human didn't stand a chance."

“I was trying to heal him!” Merle yells back. “You guys stopped me, and he’d still be alive if I kept–” Merle is cut off when the half-orc takes his dagger and stabs him in the shoulder. 

“I said shut up!” The peacekeeper shouts above the sound of Merle’s agonized screaming. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you outright here and now!"

Merle chooses to stop talking, but being silent is not on his agenda right now. Heavy pants from trying to breathe through the pain are the only thing heard from inside the wagon as they continue on. He looks at the small dagger protruding from his shoulder and grimaces. He’d gone through decades worth of pain at this point. The pain wasn’t the annoying part, it was the death that sucked. It’s easier to just go all at once, but this dragged-out shit was the worst. 

And it was this painful now… well, he’d rather not think about that. 

“How much longer– we got to go?” Merle asks through gritted teeth. He earns a glare from the half-orc in response. Of course, now that he’s dared to speak up again… 

Merle hollers in pain once again as the half-orc takes his dagger back in one quick swipe. There’s blood everywhere now, and the elf peacekeeper with him scolds the half-orc for being so messy. Merle knows he’s got a time limit now that his shoulder is bleeding out. If only they’d left the damn knife in, then Merle might have survived the wagon ride to his certain death.

[missiriss]

“Keeping it a secret” (2/2)

The second and the final part of SS fic, as well as my part for the 3rd day of SS Shoujo Week 2023. Enjoy and thank you for reading! ♥

Prompt: Misunderstandings Word count: 3111

               Five weeks.

               It’s been five weeks since they became a couple. For Sakura, that was the best time she’s ever had throughout high school so far. Exchanging glances when walking by each other on the corridor during the break, holding hands under the desk in class, or stealing Sasuke a kiss upon making sure no one is around. It all felt so exciting and new to her, yet she was certain that once she got to know this feeling, she would never want to let go of it. The chemistry in her brain was going wild every single time she was looking at him, filling her with energy and happiness. But now, something was different. Now, she could feel a shiver going through her body, when looking into his onyx eyes. They were cold as ever, and the silence between them started becoming uncomfortable.

               “It sucks they managed to throw this party, right? I really wanted to go somewhere together…”, when she finally brought herself to speak, he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Instead, he chose to start another topic.

               “When did you tell Ino?”, the boy asked with a frown. When the female part of their class joined them on the beach, the blonde was giving him strange looks. Normally he would have thought that she is just weird, like most of the girls to his mind. But as if this wasn’t enough, speaking with Naruto, she even stressed that Sasuke would surely enjoy the party more with ladies around. Uzumaki might have shrugged it off, but he could never. He had no doubt that Yamanaka knew. And that, to be honest, really pissed him off, completely destroying the disposure he had to go on a small rendezvous.

               “A week ago”,  Sakura answered shyly, dropping her eyes to the ground. Ok. Now she understood it. Sasuke was mad with her, and she had to admit, she gave him a reason. It wasn’t like she wasn’t going to tell him! She was! But no time felt right, because every moment with him was perfect. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…”

               “It’s just what?”, he interrupted her with a sigh. Uchiha crossed his arms, growing distant in her eyes, and even more so as he continued speaking. “It was your idea to keep it between us anyway. I’m making a fool out of myself trying to figure a way out of this party without spilling that we’re an item, and it turns out that probably half of the school already knows.”

               “It’s only Ino, really!”, she responded immediately, folding her hands as if in prayer. “She promised to keep it a secret. I was going to tell you today anyway, I really was, Sasuke. I’m sorry.”

               “Listen. I still don’t get the point of this whole thing with keeping it under wraps anyway. I went for it only because you wanted to. And now you’re telling whoever you like about it”, Sasuke said, still with an irritated look on his face. He just felt so disappointed. To him, this whole hiding thing felt rather tiring. He hated getting paranoid that someone might have noticed them holding hands, or going out together. Picking less crowded places, or the ones further away from their school felt like clear bullshit. Was it illegal for them to fall in love? No. Yet he was still doing it for her. And now it seemed that he unnecessarily bothered.

               Sakura could see his point. But she also felt, that he was too strict on her. He knew how important Ino was to her, and that they’ve been doing almost everything together for years now. She was the first one Sakura conveyed her feelings for Sasuke to. He had to take it into consideration, especially that he wasn’t saint in this regard either.

               “You didn’t consult it with me before telling Itachi”, she noticed, surprising him with her words.

               “But it’s my brother! He would have found out sooner or later”, Sasuke defended himself. It hasn’t crossed his mind that she could have minded that. “You really don’t see any difference?”

               “And I don’t have any siblings. You know I couldn’t tell my mom. She would give me no peace with her questions!”

               “God, Sakura. You will have to tell your mom sooner or later anyway. And we’re going to have even more questions to answer now, when Ino for sure blabs out tonight.”

               “She won’t”, she answered, averting her eyes from him. Was she feeling a qualm of guilt? Totally. But she wasn’t so happy with how fierce Sasuke was either. She trusted her best friend wouldn’t tell anyone. And the way he was questioning it, made her feel upset. “I promise you, really.”

               Sasuke only exhaled heavily, as he started walking towards the rest with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. He didn’t feel like talking about it anymore, and he felt a need to cool his head down a little before he says something stupid.

               “Anyway”, he only blurted out, leaving Sakura with a qualm of guilt growing within her.

               Next two hours were the longest in her life. She could swear that time on a dentist’s chair was passing rapidly compared to this. Sasuke wouldn’t even look at her. Instead he was sticking to Naruto and some other boys, who were getting themselves slowly wasted. As expected, the speech that Guy gave them about responsibility earlier that day went in one ear, and out the other. Almost everyone had already at least one beer, apart from her — because the argument with her boyfriend completely spoiled her appetite, for drinks, food, and any more joy tonight.

               But what’s worse, it weren't only boys following Sasuke around. A group of girls from some other school that was also staying in their hostel for a trip begged them to let them join the party. And that was when even Naruto stopped supporting the concept of all-male squad. At first they seemed quite flattered that he was trying to make sure they were having fun. However, once they clapped their eyes on young Uchiha, they wouldn’t leave him alone even for a second. And that infuriated Sakura.  

               Now sitting on one of many blankets on the ground, she was drawing something in sand with her finger, pretending she doesn’t see their goo-goo eyes, as they are trying to get his attention. She wanted to go to her room already, but Ino wouldn’t let her. Not before spill the bottle.

               Speaking of the devil. Yamanaka now was standing next to the fire burning in the furnace with a vicious sparkles in her eyes. She wanted to get the party rolling, but that wasn’t the only thing. Sakura didn’t have to tell her for Ino to realise that something bad happened between her and Sasuke. Whatever this was, she was hoping the game will give them the opportunity to break the ice, and at least to talk with each other. And so, she went ahead with her plan.

               But first, there was one thing they didn’t think through earlier. Number of people. Or rather how great it was. It wasn’t only their class and those girls here as a few students among of Guy joined them in the meantime. Because it was difficult to circle around the bottle in such a large group, they eventually decided to play a few different rounds, so that everyone could participate. Having finally divided them, Ino sat next to Sakura.

               “No worries, Forehead. It will get fun now.” She clapped her back with a reassuring smile. “Sasuke is playing now too.”

               For Haruno this wasn’t good information to receive. As much as she wanted to interact with him, she also knew that she won’t be able to relax now. Or at least she thought so. To her surprise, after a few spins she really started having fun. That was partly thanks to Ino who had modified the rules so that the game would be more interesting. Everyone pointed by the bottle thread was supposed to draw a task from a list she had prepared earlier.

               “Lee, give me a number”, Ino said, glancing over at tasks she had in her phone.

               “Yes! Twenty seven, please!”, he answered eagerly, as if he had the number prepared in his head for a little while before. Everyone could see he was already a little tipsy. He was well known for lacking abilities in holding his drink, that’s why it was even more surprising to see that the boys managed to convince him to break the promise given to Guy.

               “Twenty seven, twenty se… Found it! Spin the bottle and say what you think about the person pointed!”, she drawled, giving him a wink.

               Lee’s courage when he was under the influence had no limits. He spun the bottle with no fear, waiting to see who is the lucky person. Sakura didn’t really pay attention at that moment. She had her eyes fixed on Sasuke, sitting on the other side of the circle. He seemed rather bored, yet she could not stand the girls that took seats next to him. They fought for his attention relentlessly, even if he wasn’t giving it to him. And that was the only thing that made her stand it. He didn’t care about them. Why would she then?

               “Sakura?” Someone’s voice took her out of her reverie. It was Ino. “Lee has to say something about you.”

               Sakura brought herself to smile a little and nodded politely as a sign “please, do”. She needed to stop averting her eyes to Sasuke if she wanted to focus.

               “I find Sakura the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I wish she agreed to go out on a date with me!”, he claimed with his face all red — hard to say whether it was an effect that alcohol had on him or abashment.

               In case of Sakura, that was certainly the latter. She could feel her cheeks getting hot, when she heard him speaking about her. She knew he had a crush on her last year, he confessed it in the middle of the corridor on their first day of school. But she was certain he got over it already long time ago, hence she didn’t see it coming. And probably neither did Sasuke, who gagged on the beer he was drinking, when he heard his words.

               One… two… three… Breathe Sasuke, breathe… He was telling himself, to realise how pointless shits like that were in his case. This wasn’t calming him at all. Actually, quite the opposite. Anger was slowly building up in him. And that was what he hated the most about hiding their relationship. He couldn’t chime in. Instead, he had to look as his girlfriend tries to turn this guy down, unsure what words to use.

               He was close to just stand up and leave this fucking party. Nothing was going as planned today. First preparations, then the argument with Sakura. That was enough for him to call it a bad day, but those girls following him around were making him feel like exploding any moment. On top of that, he totally didn’t feel like playing that stupid game, and now he had to listen to some tool hitting on his girl. Was there anything that could go worse today? Well. Sasuke was now soon to find out that indeed.

               It was Sakura’s turn to pick the number. He was watching her carefully, as she was waiting for Ino to read the task. But before he got to hear what Yamanaka sets her, his attention was forced by someone sitting next to him. One of those girls was now resting her head on his shoulder.

               “Get off of me”, he ground out.

               “Oh, you’re so cold!”, she did as he asked, but then added. “That’s quite hot though, you know?”

               He ignored her, and set his eyes back on Sakura. And that’s when their eyes met. She definitely saw what just happened, and she certainly wasn’t happy about it. But Lord, he wasn’t either! And based on her face it seemed to him she didn’t realise that.

               Ino having noticed their exchange of looks, cleared her throat.

               “I will reread the question… Sakura, your task is to spin the bottle and kiss the person pointed.”

               And that was when he completely lost it. He stood up to everyone’s surprise, and just started walking towards the beach. He wasn’t going to listen to it anymore. He first had to hear someone confess to her, and now he had to look at her kissing some other jerk? This was so ridiculous. And yet, she dared to be making that face when that girl put her head on his shoulder as if it was his fault!

               He was fuming. Literally fuming. He didn’t care anymore what others would think, whether they’d find out there was something going on between them or not. Sasuke was sure that with his today’s fortune the bottle was going to point on a guy. And Uchiha had to leave before he gets the lucky guy killed.

               Wandering along the shore was as relaxing as it could be under such circumstances. He was calming down a little, but he could still feel his heart breaking out of its regular rhythm. His mind was flooded by different images, yet all of them contained his girl. His girl kissing someone else. Who did the bottle point on? Lee, Naruto? Or maybe Kiba? He didn’t know. And he didn’t want to know. But he still couldn’t stop thinking about it.

               He finally decided to come to a stop. Sasuke knew he shouldn’t be getting too far away from the hostel, but he didn’t want to be going back either. So it seemed the most reasonable to sit by, and watch the sea.

               To be honest, the sight was really beautiful. The stars on the night sky sparkled brightly, whilst the moon glade was trying to hypnotise him. That was the moment when the anger within him was just replaced by sadness and longing. He really wanted to share moments like that with Sakura tonight, and it played out as always. Shitty.

               “Sasuke?”

               He lifted his head, with a blank expression on his face. She was standing there.

               She really couldn’t have gotten any worse task than that one. That she knew for sure. While she was thinking how to wiggle out of it, or how to calculate the bottle’s rotation perfectly so that it’d point on her boyfriend, he had already stood up and started walking away, ignoring Naruto calling him.

               That pained her. He was leaving again, just like earlier today, and again, because of her. Now the qualm of guilt was truly consuming her. Without giving it much of a thought, she was now standing on both of her legs as well, to everyone’s surprise.

               “You can ignore him, he was grumpy all day”, Kiba snorted, rolling his eyes. “Not sure what’s wrong with him today.”

               But the thing is, she knew! And it was all her fault. She understood it already. And even more. She finally realised, how stupid it was to hide their relationship. Instead of having some good time with her boyfriend, she was focused on making sure no one finds out. And what for? She didn’t know herself anymore. However, she was convinced she needed to convey to him now, what she had learned today. Hoping it’s not too late.

               “No, I… I’ll check on him. Sorry, please, continue without us”, she blurted out, and started following Sasuke’s steps slowly.

               He was walking round shouldered, completely immersed in own thoughts. She wanted to approach him, but felt they both need to cool down. So she kept following his lead. When he finally sat on the sand, it seemed to be the high time for Sakura to reveal herself to him. And so she did.

               “Sasuke?”, she started, and then their gazes met again. He seemed surprised, but not angry anymore. Actually, she could swear she saw a tinge of sadness in his eyes, and that pained her the most.

               She then took a place next to him, while he was observing every step of hers.

               “It’s really beautiful here”, she started, giving him a shy smile. Sakura wanted to first hear at least a word from him before she shares what she wanted to say. His voice, that would give her the courage.

               “It is.”

               “You know, Sasuke…”, she started, brushing her hair away from her face. “I’m really sorry for everything. This day, it’s my fault, I know about it. I apologise for earlier.”

               He sighed, shaking his head. Like he cared about that argument. It was petty, and he wouldn’t be mad with her for long. It was this whole situation that was making him feel sick, nothing else. But as he was about to say something more, she interrupted him, putting a finger on his lips.

               “Please, let me!”, she requested, and seeing him nod, she continued speaking. “I’m also sorry for asking you to hide our relationship. It was stupid. I just… I just really wanted to keep it just to ourselves, so that we could enjoy it together to its fullest… and forgot what was really important.”

               Hearing it all, finally took a heavy burden off his heart. At least, most of it. They no longer were going to be back and forth on this topic. He no longer was going to have to hide with his feelings. He now was going to be able to do whatever he wanted, just like he should have been able at the very beginning. Yet, he still had to ask about something else.

               “What… what about that task Ino gave you?”, he inquired, feeling as if he was signing his own death warrant. If she accepted it… He didn’t even want to think about it. However, Sakura seemed dumbfounded now.

               “Task?”, she checked if she heard right. “Kissing somebody, you mean?”

               He nodded again, feeling that time flows extremely slow now.

               “Of course I didn’t accept it! Shannaro!”

               Upon hearing that, Sasuke finally felt fully relieved. They were good. They were going to be good. And Sakura seemed to be the same way now, relaxed, maybe even touched a little.

               “Just one thing”, he said, putting his hand on top of hers. He looked into her eyes. “No more secrets.”

               “No more secrets”, Sakura confirmed teary-eyed, with a warm smile glued to her face. Seeing that, Uchiha had to do only one more thing. He sealed their promise with a kiss.

[lonely-soul-02]

Super long read:

I've been meaning to add to this post for a while. The Supersonic book contains additional information not featured in the documentary. Obviously you get a much fuller picture when you read the quotes in context, but hopefully these convey how at odds Noel was with the rest of the band. You can sense the extent of the differences in Noel and Liam's attitudes as well. Essentially, Noel was extremely ambitious and set high expectations for himself and the band. Contrary to what he says nowadays, he cared deeply about succeeding in America. It was his dream. However, probably not wanting to show that he cared because northern-men-don't-have-feelings, he didn't communicate this to the band who treated it as if it was just another gig. I think the pressure he put on himself also explains why he sounded so bad during the gig. Anyway, cue huge misunderstandings and chaos.

Quotes from the Supersonic book: Whisky a Go Go

Stress, Anxiety and Exhaustion 

“The American thing exhausted me a little bit. I never got two minutes to sit and have a cig and stare out the window.” Noel

“In England people kind of got what we were about more. Abroad it was like ‘Who the fuck are these fuckers?’” Liam

“I can tell you it’s fucking hard work [trying to break America] and we treated it with the contempt it deserved.” Noel [his later comments contradict this last part. I think he chooses to see it this way now, but at the time? He wanted it badly.]

“I didn’t really get on with L.A. I found it a bit weird.” Liam

Drugs

“They barely got off the plane […] I walk into Liam’s room and there is a bag of cocaine […] the size of which you have never seen in your life, it was just like a bag of flour on the table […] …it was consumed within about seventy-two hours.” Michael Spencer Jones

High Stakes

“I think the perception was that the Whisky a Go Go was one of those moments: if you get it right there, it will set us up for this tour.” Coyley

“The Whisky a Go Go was supposed to be an industry gig, record label thing. It is quite strategic that leading up to L.A.” Maggie

“If you’ve got these big expectations all the time, it’s not going to happen. So don’t fucking hype it, let’s just do what we do.” Liam

More Drugs 

“Someone had discovered the joys of crystal meth.” Noel

"Everybody had a dig at it." Coyley

“The only one who didn’t really overdo it was Noel, actually.” Maggie

“I don’t know why, but I wasn’t partaking in crystal meth…” Noel

“We all thought it was coke and we were doing big fucking lines of it.” Liam

“The record label decide to put on a party for them, a little bit worrying.” Maggie

More Stress

“I was taking some pictures of Noel […] I sensed that Noel wasn’t there really, he was somewhere else; he just looked really, really stressed out and under a lot of pressure. You can see that he’s got the entire world on his shoulders.” Michael Spencer Jones

Bad Gig

“Soundcheck was all right, gig wasn’t. Obviously, the record company is there and they are the ones who had put the money up in L.A. This is important and so when it goes wrong, it’s even more of a fuck up.” Phil

“Starts off all right, good gig. I remember it going steadily downhill.” Bonehead.

“Phil Smith was responsible for putting the setlists out […] For some reason, my set list was different to everybody’s else.” Noel

"It sounded like they were all playing different songs at the same time..." Jason

"I remember it being all right...I remember I might have had a line halfway through it, and then I think I went a bit fucking mad." Liam

“The whole thing just fell apart, it was like the fucking roof fell in or something […] It just seemed to tumble in on itself. I’m on Noel’s side, so I can see him, and I see that boy is really rattled. I’m just looking and thinking, fucking hell, he will kick off tonight.” Coyley

Misunderstandings

“Liam was just fucking about, singing whatever, you know, any old words will do.” Bonehead

“Just, making up stupid words to ‘Live Forever’ and stuff like that […] I was in a fury. I was like, ‘What the fucking hell are you doing?” Noel

“Every now and again I’d fucking change the lyrics just for the craic and Noel’d do the same. I guess it’s got to be whatever day suits him. If he’s not in a fun mood, he was the one that would come and turn the vibe and switch it down.” Liam

"I think there were a lot of tensions on stage, a lot of gesturing between Noel and Liam, well, more from Liam to Noel, then the tambourine came flying." Jason

"I think we were just knackered, or maybe just burning the candle at both ends a bit too much. Or Noel being a pompous little fucker who was trying to fucking put everyone in their boxes. 'You are having too much fun' and me going 'fuck you I've not had enough.' Liam [To me, this demonstrates the gap between them: Noel wants them to act professionally but without actually telling them, Liam can't understand what Noel's problem is and why he's acting so different]

"It's one of them gigs that you want to just push out of your memory...fucking ground swallow me up." Bonehead

“I felt we could have smashed it in America. I really felt we could have been bigger than anyone that had gone before us because the timing was right, but I also knew that you’ve got to be able to play when you go there. You won’t get anywhere on attitude in the States. You’ve got to be able to play.” Noel

“I don’t think we were dicking about, I think we were just probably having one of them days. Can’t be great all the fucking time. Obviously in Noel’s eyes you can, but you just can’t.” Liam

Fallout

“I don’t know what happened to the band at that point, something changed. The band was never the same. In some respects, that was the night it finished. That was it.” Coyley

“I remember going upstairs to the dressing room and there being a huge argument. Shit got thrown around…” Noel

“There was a massive hoo-hah, big screaming match…” Bonehead

“I might have overreacted a little bit, because it was only one show…” Noel

“Maybe it got a bit dramatic, but fuck it […] We’re meant to be a rock and roll band, not fucking Boyzone…” Liam

“It was a funny old night, but it kind of set the tone for the rest of the nineties because it made me think, actually, you know what, these lot really don’t give a fuck.” Noel

“Why would you put all that at risk? Three years previously, this is the same bunch of people who were rehearsing every night of the week in a dirty fucking rehearsal room in Manchester, going nowhere. But the only reason we were rehearsing every night is to get to this place: L.A. Paid to be there. Fucking hell, it's going to happen and you are going to fuck it up? I was thinking, ‘You fucking wankers.’” Noel

“I didn’t worry about it at the time. Water off a duck’s back. Tomorrow is another city…” Liam

“[…] I may have been trying to teach somebody a lesson. It failed miserably.” Noel

Noel runs away, leaves his notes to Liam and Maggie. Chaos ensues

“Clearly it’s not a normal thing to have taken the tour float and a big bag of fucking drugs and run off and left the tour. Clearly, that is quite a bizarre thing to do…” Noel

“I wasn’t worried for his sate of mind at all, he wasn’t the one on crystal meth. [...] Las Vegas, I haven't been there, mate, come back, let us come with you. Fuck the band...” Liam

“I think he was angry. He was obviously in a weird fucking place…” Tim

“I was angry; we were better than that […] It was like we’d got to America and it had all suddenly gone out the window […] You have one shot at it in your fucking life. It seemed to me that everyone else was not taking it as seriously, or didn’t feel it as seriously, as I did. […] I guess I left a little bit of me on that stage that night and the relationship between me towards everybody else was never the same after that. I think I probably felt after that night, it was more me and them as opposed to us.” Noel

Aftermath

“All I want to know is what everyone else wants out of it. [...] At this point every song I’m writing is amazing and I’m not prepared to fucking piss it up the wall. I don’t want to be back on the dole in a year and a half. I don’t want to be back in the Boardwalk in two years. We had the chance to make it, like smash it. Do you know what I mean? Bigger than all of our heroes, bigger than The Stone Roses could ever even fucking dream about. Bigger than all those bands: The Smiths, New Order, all of them. Bigger than The Jam, everybody.” Noel's speech to the band when he returned. [shows just how much he wanted it]

“He’d just got to the end of the fucking road. That was the end of that era and the new era started when he walked back in that hotel with a skinhead. I always thought, when he came back, you fucking changed, man. Now me, right, I believe in life in outer space and dimensions and different parallel universes and all that. Somebody come and took him. That’s what I think, it was that radical. We got a new man back and everything was different after that.” Coyley

“‘It’s going to be like a business and I’m in charge.’ Fuck off. What is all that about? […] You say shit like that to me and I’m ordering more drinks.” Liam

“He probably thought, this is the point where they need to understand that there are some rules that we have to make. We can’t just be this chaotic gang from Manchester going around the world. Yes you can have fun […] there’s time for the crystal meth, but not before the gig.” Maggie

“My ethos has never changed from day one…” Noel

“I guess we all decided to chill out on the drugs and drinking, everyone just fucking get it together a little bit, I guess we did that.” Liam

“I just wanted to know where their heads were at […] Everybody said the right words and then three weeks later it all blew up again.” Noel

Regardless of what we think, the perception among the band and crew was that the gig was a disaster. I think this explains Noel's frosty relationship with the original band members. He felt betrayed. They had no idea what they'd done wrong. His 'them and us' comment is telling, which is somewhat understandable when you consider they were Liam's mates, not Noel's. But overall, drugs and total lack of communication resulting in stress and possibly a panic attack for Noel? In my opinion, Noel has never quite got over it, never quite forgiven them for ruining his dream of making it big in America. I wonder if he has never quite forgiven himself for not handling it better, not preparing them better, making his own mistakes?

It's curious that he acknowledges how hard the band worked leading up to America and then he thinks they just willingly pissed it all away. I don't think that's what they were doing, not knowingly anyway. What they needed at that time was leadership and someone to remind them that this is what they'd worked towards. That shouldn't have come from Noel who was in the band. That should have come from someone outside the band, a Brian Epstein type manager, which they obviously lacked.

From 'Supersonic'. The botched gig at Whiskey a Go Go

When we do what - play a lousy gig? That compromises your brotherhood?

The thing I find funny is the absolute drama that ensued afterwards. It plays out like a Netflix series; Noel on the run, gone into hiding; band freaking out; half the crew on a rescue mission to find him; frantic back and forth 4am phone calls; Tim Abbott flying over 7000 miles to hunt Noel down; the two of them ending up in Vegas in a giant black pyramid; Noel admitting the whole thing was traumatic all because...the gig sucked? They had a bad encounter with crystal meth? Not buying that.

At no other time on that tour did Noel display such a blatant lack of control over his emotions. In fact, when he returned, he was more determined than ever to retain emotional control to the point Bonehead thought he’d been abducted by aliens and replaced with someone else. He said things were never the same after that.

[j0kers-light]

Can we learn more about the three main goons? Their backstories, thoughts about Joker, motives, a detailed description on them etc. unless you can’t cuz spoiler territory

Heyy hi anon!! 🖤✨

You requested some lore on Joker’s top goons? Of course I can explain and I’ll omit any spoilers! To get to the clown you have to get through his top three which are Frost, Mac, and Neo; his most loyal henchmen. Enjoy some lore!

Let’s begin with Joker’s right hand man; Frost!

He’s Joker’s first employee and by default the only person that Joker truly trusts (besides you of course).

Frost will get his own separate oneshot but I envisioned him to loosely reflect the same Frost depicted in the comics. His description is as follows: Frost is at least 6’3, a very scary looking guy, who’s super tough with an attitude befitting his nickname. He’s the brawn of the three. Definitely ex-military so he’s assertive, with a no nonsense demeanor, and he never smiles. He’s the oldest of the top three and undoubtedly the leader. He’s number one for a reason.

Frost is African American with a buzzcut from his military days, deep brown eyes, and he has a face scar running up his cheek. No one knows anything else about him. He’s just as mysterious as Joker regarding any previous history.

He prefers fighting with his hands but give him a gun and he’s an excellent shot. Joker respects Frost and vice versa. There’s an unspoken bond between the two. Could Joker be an old army pal of Frost’s? Who knows, but no one questions the connection they share. You cross Frost and you cross Joker. Simple.

Frost can essentially take over and run the gang during Joker’s absence. Frost doesn’t like being in charge and his famous slogan, “I don’t get paid enough for this” is said sarcastically because Frost would do anything for his long time friend and boss. I don’t wanna go too into much detail here since he’s getting his own oneshot that will include more lore on his backstory and etc.

Up next we have Mac! Number two!

Most people under Joker’s employ blend in appearance wise but not Mac. He’s got the face and attitude of a frat boy yet he willingly works for Joker.

Mac was originally a Gotham University undergrad but found himself in some trouble after a wild party and one big misunderstanding. His only choice was to beg Joker of all people to save him. Mac paid his debt off twice over but fell in love with the criminal underworld and joined the gang after graduating.

He cut ties with his family and he’s been under J’s employ ever since. Of course he conned his way out of paying student loans. He uses his business major to help Joker’s illegal businesses prosper. Mac also handles the gang's finances/bookkeeping since he knows everything about the corporate world. If there’s a legal mess that Joker needs fixing, Mac is the one to call.

His description is as follows. Mac is a naturally blond Caucasian with calculating blue eyes. Not too tall but he’s giving pretty boy. Even though he cut ties with his family, Mac is still arrogant and snooty; he reeks of new money. His greatest weapon is his mouth. He can talk himself out of any situation, (he paid extra attention in debate class) yet the blond loves to crush his opponents where it really hurts; their wallet.

Because of his frat boy personality, most of Joker’s crew doesn't take the blond seriously until he gets serious and shows them why he’s ranked number two. His loyalty is unwavering since Joker quite literally saved his life.

Mac brings a fresh, younger experience to the gang and his paid education doesn’t hurt either. If Joker asks Mac to do something, the businessman will sigh or roll his eyes in a playful show of annoyance, but it’ll get done immediately. Fun fact: Mac’s phone is constantly in his hand since he’s running the business/legal side of things. He’s the brains out of the three.

Which leaves us with….. Neo. Number three.

Oh this sweet summer child. I had high hopes when I originally created his character. He is the newest of the three but earned his rank for his more hands-on approach at loyalty. His actions show why he’s number three.

Neo is a charmer, a flirt, very charismatic, super cocky, and he is also a mercenary. When Joker wants someone professionally killed, he calls Neo. For a young man, his body count is ridiculously high— both in kills and sexual partners. If he marks you as his target, you’re dying one way or another. Did I mention he’s hot?

Neo’s description is as follows: Lightskin, a traditional tall f__k boy with endless drip. A walking red flag. Neo is originally from Atlanta, GA (and modeled after one of my ex’s pls don’t judge me) He owns multiple clubs in the Georgia Peach area and already had a reputation when Joker recruited the hitman for his payroll. One look into Neo’s hazel eyes and you’re bound for heartbreak or a swift death. Whichever you prefer. He’s got long natural hair and is one of Florence’s clients because he likes it artistically braided. Is it a coincidence that your childhood friend is dating your current lover’s hired hitman?👀

When Neo isn’t charming the ladies and keeping Joker’s clubs and other nightly entertainment business running, he has a gun in his hand– eliminating Joker’s targets with ease. Clean and precise, Neo hates a messy kill and rarely gets his hands dirty with actual blood.

Unfortunately…. Neo is in the dog house for stepping out of line. He let his rank get to his head. Neo inserted himself into your life and exposed himself to your friends and family. Plus he’s one of the variables to the whole, Flo finding out that you’re dating The Joker fiasco. Yeah not good. Neo mixed business with pleasure and now he’s suffering the consequences.

I can’t go into detail with his character since SPOILERS! but Neo will redeem himself and prove his loyalty to Joker again very soon.

Omg this was so much fun to fill!! I love these three and love adding them in oneshots and head canons! They really are Joker's friends even if he doesn't know the meaning of the word.

[yuexuan]

[Review]小行星

Title: 小行星 Asteroid

Author: 微风几许

Length: 87 chapters + 13 extras

Rating: G

Tag: Entertainment industry, a/b/o

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

Xu Tangzhou lost his memory. He always dreamed of an unfamiliar Alpha who made his legs go weak, and his dreams caused one to be red in the face.

One day, he saw the Alpha he dreamed of on TV. Apparently, the other party was a huge celebrity called Ling Che.

Not long after, he debuted and his manager said that he wanted to find someone to guide him.

After meeting Ling Che, Xu Tangzhou’s facial expression was indifferent. “Oh.”

Xu Tangzhou’s inner thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhhh he’s so hot!

Four years ago, Ling Che’s Omega disappeared overnight and thoroughly broke up with him.

Four years later, Ling Che had already become the king of the music industry. He met the partner who was newly assigned to him by his company for a business couple.

That newcomer was called Xu Tangzhou.

The manager smiled obsequiously. “Our Zhou Zhou looks like a cold beauty but beneath the surface, he’s exceptionally pure.”

Ling Che coldly laughed. “You want me to guide him? Maybe in the next life.”

That night, the cold beauty that was exceptionally pure beneath the surface appeared in front of Ling Che’s room door.

He was clean and fresh, and he loosely wore a bathrobe with a wide collar.

The next day, the sweetest CP in the history of the entertainment industry was born.

Novel | Novel [translated] | Audio drama

Comments **contains spoilers**:

The synopsis basically says it all: this is an exes-to-lovers story. Xu Tangzhou (MC) lost a segment of his memory due to an accident. He joins the entertainment industry as a novice and meets the huge celebrity Ling Che (ML), who happens to be his ex whom he broke up with. The reason for breaking up is a matter of miscommunication: both MC and ML have extremely rare pheromone types - the snow and sun - translating to an 18% compatibility. MC’s mother found out about their compatibility and forced them apart, citing her own failed marriage as a reason why people with low compatibility should not be together. However, in spite of her efforts and MC’s amnesia, MC eventually found his way back to ML, and they fell in love all over again.

Character personality-wise, Xu Tangzhou has a cold and stoic appearance, but is silly and fluffy on the inside. Ling Che has a tsundere personality but presents himself as prideful. Their relationship started out quite turbulent, with Ling Che saying a very sexist comment regarding omegas. Due to the misunderstanding, Ling Che didn’t treat Xu Tangzhou very well initially, but eventually still can’t help falling in love with the one and only person.

Story-wise it’s pretty cliche and very clear early on that the MC and ML actually have 100% compatibility, just that something was wrong with the original calculations. I do find certain parts of the plot to not make a lot of sense - such as the ‘dream’ MC had of destroying his own gland so that he could become a beta, or what actually happened during the accident on his way to find ML. I’m not sure if this is because I read the story intermittently and missed out on details, hence things seem disjointed...

Overall I’ll say this is an okay read if you’re in need of a/b/o stories or need something lighter to read. There are no big controversies within the novel and everyone is more or less supportive of MC. 

[reasoningdaily]

Look Here, Okay - this needs some background and a lil piano, cause this is an anthem. Crishawn rock needed to hear this before she tried her stunt, cause they gon be sangin this at the trial when she answers for her stupidity.

James, You Win Baby

According to RadarOnline, Chrisean Rock has been served lawsuit documents regarding Tamar Braxton’s backup singer, James Wright Chanel, whom she allegedly assaulted last November.

Rock, who’s notably dated Blueface and appeared on the reality show Baddies, was reportedly handed Wright Chanel’s lawsuit in person on May 4.

Per the outlet, the server found the 24-year-old at Cathedral High School in Los Angeles after she posted online that she would be attending football practice there at 6:30 PM.

The lawsuit was initially filed by Wright Chanel back in February.

Rock, whose real name is Chrisean Malone, allegedly struck Wright after feuding with Tamar’s team over performing at Los Angeles’ Novo club last year during the “Love & War” singer’s concert. The “Vibe” crooner was reportedly invited to Braxton’s concert and became angry after not being allowed to perform her music for the crowd.

According to a member of Braxton’s team, Le Troy Davis, Rock came to the venue “drunk, with 1,000 people, smelling like weed.”

At the time, Davis explained that Rock got into some sort of argument with Wright Chanel backstage about not performing, struck the singer in his face, and left him bloody. He reportedly had to seek medical attention to stop the bleeding. Reportedly, Wright was left with two broken teeth and cuts on his face from her rings.

The backup singer seemingly confirmed that he was assaulted by the new mother in a video shortly after, where he did not show his face. “Everybody wanna tell stories and tell they versions… I was an innocent bystander,” he said in complete darkness. “You know, you still gotta keep joy and stuff… I don’t know what be wrong with people.”

He went on, “All I did was went to work, chile… y’all already know what type of person I am… but let me tell you what ain’t nobody gone do… ain’t nobody gone take my joy… my praise… my worship… y’all should see my f**ing face, and I still got joy.”

Wright’s attorney, Kevin Anderson, stated to the Los Angeles Times at the time, “She hit him multiple times in the face for no reason at all. We were surprised that she was able to leave the facility that night. She had on rings that were pretty much equivalent to brass knuckles.”

Besides Davis — who deemed Rock “trash” and responsible for “why her life is the way that it is” — Braxton also spoke out about the incident. In a statement shared via Instagram, the singer said she initially did not address the heinous act “out of respect for James” and her team, but confirmed, “[Wright] got assaulted” at her show and “it was by Chrisean.”

Speaking on why Rock was invited to her show in the first place, Braxton said via IG, “Chrisean is someone I look at like, from afar, a younger sister. She was somebody I wanted to meet, to possibly take under my wing.” She also shared that she felt connected to Rock, as they’re both from Maryland.

Braxton also admitted that she did indeed invite the Baltimore native to come on stage for the show’s “twerk off” but not to perform. She added that there must have been a “misunderstanding” between both parties.

Following the incident, Rock spoke out via IG Live and claimed that “false narratives” were being made about her.

“I think it’s just a clout chasing thing… Honestly, I need to start protecting my name,” she in a since deleted X post.

I believe this could be an approach the Black Community might want to investigate for our most recent attacks. Yessssss Lawdt

[gabseyoo]

Pity Party

pairing: satoru x fem!reader | wc: 6,5k.

summary: Gojō Satoru has been your best friend since childhood, you practically grew up together, so at this point he knows everything about you. He knows the exact amount of sugar you like your coffee with, the lyrics of your favorite songs, that you love whales and how special your birthday is for you. So when your friends didn't show up to your birthday party, he'll prove that he's there for you, as he always was and always will be.

warnings: slight angst, best friends to lovers, love confession, lovesick!satoru, kinda childish!reader, crying, kissing, praising, cunnilingus, fingering, vanilla and unprotected sex, breeding, aftercare, this is corny and unedited.

a/n: this fic is inspired by melanie martinez's song with the same title. the other day i was listening to it and this idea appeared in my mind like an epiphany and who better to star in it than our sealed boy. ps. why is this so long?

“Why the hell no one is here?” 

It was about the fifth time you had said that same sentence. But no one could blame you, in fact, it seemed like the few people present were wondering the same thing. 

“Maybe they’re late.” Your mother said. 

Today was your birthday, and you had planned together with your parents the best birthday party possible. It was planned as something intimate and nice, with family and close friends. 

The only problem was that there was family, but no friends— except for Gojo Satoru, your best friend since childhood. 

You weren't the type who liked to throw huge parties, you liked the idea that a day as special as your birthday should be spent with the people closest and most important to you. It had been that way every year since high school, when you realized that special moments should be shared with special people. 

Don't misunderstand, it's not as if you were a boring girl; you liked to go to big parties, drink yourself unconscious and come home in the wee hours with a thousand excuses prepared for your mother who was waiting for you awake on the couch for not adhering to the rule to get home before midnight. 

It simply wasn't what you wanted for your birthday. 

You went into the bathroom to avoid the worried stares of your family for a few minutes and took the opportunity to take out your phone and check if at least one of your best friends had responded to your messages, indeed, there was a response, but not the one you expected. 

It was a message explaining how sorry she was that she couldn't make it to your party because she was sick. Not forgetting to put at the end of the text that she loved you and wished you a happy birthday. 

The worst part wasn't that your best friend wasn't coming to your birthday, the worst part was that you didn't believe her. 

There was a frat party today, you knew because you were invited. Your friends had said several times during the week that you should go, but for obvious reasons you had refused. You wanted to believe that she wouldn't be able to stand you up on your own birthday for a frat party, but you couldn't help but have a bad feeling. 

You looked in the mirror and tried to smile, convincing yourself that everything would be okay as you analyzed your reflection. You were wearing that pretty baby blue dress you had bought weeks before with Satoru's help—he practically chose it—, nice makeup and hair and nails done. A few hours ago when you looked in the mirror you felt gorgeous, even the blue-eyed man had told you so when you showed him the final result, but now you felt ridiculous. 

“Everything will be fine, Y/n. Stop being so pessimistic.”

You had invited your two best friends from collage and Satoru and Suguru. Only your close circle. You knew that the latter would not come as he had a family trip, but he had apologized and even sent a bouquet of flowers as a gift. So there was still one person to come. 

When you came out of the bathroom you found your white-haired friend leaning against the opposite wall, who stood up straight and uncrossed his arms when he saw you. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked leaning against the door after closing it. 

“Umm— I was worried about you.” He said scratching the back of his neck. “Are you okay?”

“Why shouldn't I be?” He rolled his eyes and looked at you in disbelief. 

“Y/n, I know you better than you think. What happened?”

You sighed in defeat, it was almost impossible for you to lie to Satoru. You cleared your throat and looked at the ground, avoiding his inquisitive gaze that never failed to make you nervous.

“One of my friends just texted me that she wasn't coming because she was sick.” He frowned immediately. 

“One of those two you hang out with?” 

You nodded as you unlocked your phone to show him the message. You noticed how his hand pressed against the device, it wasn't hard to tell he was incredibly upset. He also knew about this frat party, he had also been invited. But he hadn't even bothered to consider it when he was already declining the invitation, that day was solely and completely reserved for his best friend. 

And he had that same feeling that this person you called your friend didn't do the same thing he did. 

“Say it.” You encouraged him crossing your arms.

He had a lot to say. From months ago when you started that friendship with those girls. But it wasn't the time or the place, so he just shrugged as he handed the phone back to you.

“Maybe she is really sick.” He said trying to force a smile. 

“Yeah, right.” The sarcasm in your voice along with the dejected look in your eyes almost made him want to hug you, but he knew you, you were holding back and maybe that show of affection would make you break. He didn't want to see you cry on your birthday. Or never. Especially because of a person like your friend.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, but he decided he should cheer you up. 

He took your hand and caressed your knuckles with his thumb before speaking again, “Come on, don't be sad. Your other friend is still to come, isn't she? She should be on her way. For now let's go to the garden, your mom must be worried.” 

You nodded and let go of his gentle grip before walking without even waiting for him. He sighed and followed you behind until you reached the garden, where your relatives greeted you with warm smiles. You tried to force a smile at them, but even though you thought you were doing a good job of hiding your feelings, your face still gave you away. Still, no one tried to question you. 

You went to sit at a table and immediately your mother handed you a plate of your favorite food that she had lovingly prepared, you sighed and picked up a fork in an attempt to eat even though the last thing you felt at that moment was hunger. 

Satoru sat down next to you and began to eat his own plate, and without you noticing, your mother mouthed to him if everything was alright, to which he nodded even when it was not believable. 

Half an hour later and with your untouched food cold, you were resting your face in the palm of your hand while listening to your fourteen-year-old cousin talk to you about the new boy she liked when your phone rang with that special tone you had for your friends. 

Gojo looked at the contact name and had the impulse to tell you not to answer as he had a feeling that nothing good would come out of that call, but he kept silent, letting you pick up. 

“Hello? Oh, thank you… What do you mean?” There were several seconds of silence and he noticed how you clenched your jaw. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. See you Monday.” 

And with that, you hung up the call, “She's not coming either. She says she has to watch her siblings.”

You didn't believe her either.  

Satoru felt that anger in his chest again. If he already didn't like your friends, now even less. But he was more concerned about how you hadn’t yet burst into tears, even your cousin was worried about you, so after making eye contact with Satoru full of concern, she decided to start talking about the gossip in her school about a student and a teacher having an affair. 

You knew what she was doing, she was trying to distract you. And although you were grateful for the attempt, your mind kept wandering to your friends standing you up on your birthday with poor excuses. 

You don't know how much time passed after that, they had sung happy birthday to you, you blew out the candles on the cake and they convinced you to open the presents even when you insisted you’d do it tomorrow. 

Your aunt and uncle gave you a new dress, your grandparents money and your parents a new laptop. Satoru's gift almost made you burst into tears. It was something typical, a necklace. What made it special was the whale charm since he knew how much you loved whales. 

“Do you want me to put it on?” He asked and you nodded before turning around and pulling your hair up for him. 

It was a small moment you two had, you even felt a tingle as his fingers brushed your skin. You almost blushed when you caught your mother's proud smile as she witnessed Satoru struggling with fastening the necklace. 

“There you go.” He whispered with a smile and patted your shoulder twice before you let your hair down. 

You looked up to meet his gaze, he seemed lost in thought and you had to clear your throat to get him to snap out of his little stupor. 

Then you looked around the place, paying attention to the faces of your family.  They were really trying hard to make sure you had a happy birthday. You couldn't help feeling bad about yourself, feeling ungrateful. They are your special people. They were here and yet you were letting those who weren't ruin your day. 

You really appreciated the effort, so you were frustrated that you couldn't suppress your emotions and simply enjoy yourself. 

Meanwhile, Satoru couldn't help but feel his heart ache to see you having such a hard time, knowing how special your birthday was to you. You looked beautiful, and he knew you would look even more so if you smiled like you usually do. 

While you were trying to eat a piece of your favorite cake, you unlocked your phone and decided to distract yourself by scrolling through Instagram. Big mistake. 

One of your classmates had you added to his close friends list, he had several stories on the frat party; beer pong, people twerking on the floor, but just as you were about to move on to the next story you saw something that caught your attention. 

In the background you noticed both of your friends with red cups in their hands. You blinked one, two, three times not believing what you were seeing. You watched the story again, even zoomed in to confirm that it was not a figment of your imagination. But it wasn't, it really was your friends.  

That was your breaking point. 

You blocked the phone before standing up abruptly, drawing everyone's attention. You threw your napkin on the table before turning around and walking back inside your house. 

You ignored your mother's concerned calls as you let the tears you had been holding back throughout the party fall. 

Satoru had stood up just a second after you. You hadn't noticed, but when he  recognized the face you made when you wanted to cry, he happened to peek at what you were seeing on your phone screen. The only thing he saw was how you made one last zoom to the Instagram story—he also recognized your friends' figures—before you blocked it and got up. 

He called your name as he hurried after you, but not before turning to look at your parents and saying a quick leave it to me before walking up the stairs behind you. 

Although your mother wanted to follow you and comfort you herself in her arms, she decided it was best for Satoru to do it. He was your best friend since you were children and you trusted him more than you could ever trust anyone. She understood that the best person to comfort and understand you was him, so she just nodded to his words and watched him walk up the stairs, losing sight of him when he reached the second floor. 

She had no choice but to turn and look at the confused faces of her husband and family members and shrug her shoulders. Telling them it was best to give you your space and let Satoru handle it. 

Before your best friend could reach you, you had already slammed your bedroom door in his face. He tried to open it but it was locked; and he felt so helpless when he heard your sobs and he wasn't in there to hug you. 

“Y/n, open the door— please.” He said in a sweet voice, leaning his forehead against the wood. “Open it so I can hold you.”

He had no answer, still hearing your sobs on the other end, so he sighed and insisted again. And again. And again. 

It wasn't until minutes later that you opened the door, you meeting Satoru's worried face and him your tearful one. He felt as if he had been punched in the stomach, he hated to see you cry. You turned around and walked to the center of your room, crossing your arms as he entered and secured the door before approaching you. 

His heart was breaking, every sob from you seemed to open one more crack. It hurt him too much to see you like this, on your birthday. You were the person he treasured most in his life. The person he loved. 

As if it wasn't obvious by now, Gojo Satoru, your best friend since childhood, was deeply and hopelessly in love with you. 

He loved you like he never thought he could love a person. 

Since when? 

You had known each other since you were six years old, but it wasn't until many years later that he began to develop feelings for you. But when was that moment? The moment when he said I'm in love with her?

He likes to think it was something that developed gradually. That there was no specific moment when he had that epiphany. 

But if he had to pick the moment, it would be that night when you went for a ride in his car after graduating from high school and drove to the outskirts of the city, from where you could see the lights of the nightlife in the distance and a sky full of stars. You said how beautiful the view was, he whispered that he knew, the difference is that you were looking at the sky and he was looking at you. 

It was cliché— the boy who falls in love with his childhood best friend. But who is he to deny the feelings of his heart? A mere human. 

“What do you want, Satoru?” You asked when you felt his body behind you. 

“I just want to be here for you.” 

His hand went around your forearm, urging you to turn around, but you didn't want to. Even in the darkness of your room, lit only by the moonlight filtering through your window, he would see your face again. You didn't want him to see you like that. He just sighed and decided that he would be the one to stand in front of you. 

Your gaze was fixed on the floor when his tall figure stood before you. There were a few moments of silence before he got up the courage to speak again, 

“Don't cry angel, please, it's your party.” It was the best he could think to say. 

“Like you said, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.” You replied more aggressively than you planned, regret arriving as soon as you spat the childish words. 

Neither Satoru, nor your family, nor anyone but your so-called friends deserved your anger and frustration. Your crying increased as you mumbled sorry after sorry. 

He just grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you close to him, your face against his chest ruining his shirt with tears but he couldn't care less; instead, he held you tighter to him while caressing your head with one hand. He hugged you in a way that  made you feel safe, a way that said, here I am. 

“What's wrong with me?” You whispered after calming down a bit and he frowned, not understanding what you meant. “Am I so insignificant to my friends that a frat party is worth more than my birthday? I'm not worth it?”

Satoru felt his blood boil at your words. 

He didn't like your friends from the beginning, he sensed that they would end up hurting you— and for the first time, he hated that he was right. He had told you several times that they looked like the kind of people who didn't have genuine friendships, and you had responded that he was being prejudiced. It made him angry because you were the person who deserved the most love and good in the world. 

They didn't deserve you— they didn't deserve something as beautiful as your friendship or simply your presence in their life.

“Never say that again. Never.” He said in a firm voice before placing a kiss on your head. “You’re not insignificant, you hear me? You’re not. If they don't know how to appreciate what a wonderful person you are, they’re the ones who aren’t worth it.”

His words quickened your heart. 

“You deserve to be surrounded by people who are grateful to have you in their lives. No less.” He paused for a moment to take a deep breath before continuing, “And I hope you know how fucking grateful I am.”

“Satoru—” You mumbled even though you didn't know what to say next.

He took your face in his hands, making your eyes meet, and ran his thumbs over your cheeks wiping away your tears. God, you were so beautiful. Even crying you looked like an angel. 

“Please stop crying. I know it's your party, but stop crying. It hurts me to see you cry.” He whispered, his face close enough to yours that you felt like you were going to stop breathing at any moment. 

Gojo felt so enamored by your eyes, your nose, your lips— neither of you knew if it was only seconds or hours that you just looked at each other, but he couldn't hold it anymore, and before he could stop to think, the next words were already leaving his mouth, 

“I love you.” 

The moment your eyes widened in surprise, Satoru realized his mistake. He had been carried away by his feelings, and felt terrible for blurting out a confession of that magnitude in a moment like that. 

Now that he had said it, he had only three options: run; take it back and justify it with a bad lie; or go on with the truth. But he had been holding back for so long— so he decided to go with the third option and risk it all. 

“What?” Your voice came out almost in a whisper. 

“I love you. I have— I have loved you for years.” His voice was beginning to shake, but he continued, “And I don't want you to think I'm telling you this to make you feel good, or that I'm taking advantage of the moment, you know I’d never do anything like that— But I love you so much that I can't take it anymore, and because I love you it hurts me that you cry and think you're not worth it, because to me you're worth everything.” 

He knew he was repeating words, that he was talking too fast and that he should stop and take a breath. But he didn't stop and tears ran down his cheeks, the words came out of his lips on their own after years of holding them back. 

“I love you so much it hurts.” 

You were still in shock at his confession, your brain trying to process all the words he had just said. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed, his hands left your cheeks to put them on your shoulders. 

“You don't have to reciprocate my feelings, and I'm sorry for telling you now.” He murmured, letting his tears fall freely from his eyes. “I’ll leave if you want me to.” 

Neither you nor Satoru expected what you did next. 

It was your turn to put your hands on his cheeks before kissing him. 

He was surprised for a moment, but when reality hit him and you were actually kissing him after his sudden and reckless confession, he let himself go and kissed you back with the same desire as you. 

Yes, you too had fallen in love with your best friend. You didn't know how long ago, you didn't know if he did it first or if it was you. But at that moment that was the least that mattered. 

His hands went to the sides of your head to deepen the kiss and you felt like your heart would finally escape from your chest because of how fast it was beating. Things had taken a drastic turn. 

When you pulled apart to catch your breath, that's when you finally found your voice to say it,

“I love you, Satoru.”

This seemed to be taken out from a book or a movie. Satoru was afraid of waking up and realizing that it was all just a dream, he had the urge to pinch himself just to make sure that what he was experiencing was real. But dream or not, his love for you was the same. 

When he kissed you again it was no longer sweet, it was desperate, and what happened next was the mere impulse of two humans who were feeling too much. 

Your hands went to the edge of his shirt to take it off, he helped you by raising his arms and immediately his lips returned to yours, guiding you awkwardly across the room until your thighs bumped against your bed. He gently laid you down on the mattress and his hands went to caress your breasts above the fabric of your dress. The dress he had chosen for you. 

He broke away from your lips just to look at you, and he almost burst into tears again— your face was still red from your previous crying, your lips swollen and your hair a bit messy. But what captivated him were your eyes, even in the dim light of the place he could notice that gleam in them, and they were looking at him and only him. 

“Is this okay with you?” He asked, he didn't want you to do this because you felt you had to give him something. “We can stop.”

“I want you, Satoru.” 

She wants me.

Satoru looked at you for a few more seconds, searching for any trace of lies or insecurity on your face, he knew you better than anyone else after all, he could tell exactly how you were feeling just by looking at your eyes. But when he noticed nothing but determination and desire, his lips returned to yours. 

His hands went to the back of your dress and slowly unzipped it until he could grab the hem to pull it completely off, his eyes gazed with nothing but adoration at your almost naked body, he still couldn't believe that you were letting him see and touch you in such an intimate way.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered as his palms ran down your body from your legs to your torso, memorizing with his fingertips the warmth of your skin. “So fucking beautiful.”

Gojo was going slow, he felt there was no rush even when there were people downstairs waiting for you two; he wanted nothing more than to savor every part of you and make you feel good, so he’d take his time. 

He moved his kisses down from your face to your neck, concentrating on that spot below your ears since he knew how sensitive you were there—thanks to the fact that he usually liked to tease you by tickling you—. You moaned softly as you felt his wet tongue and brought your hands to run them over the muscles of his arms and back. You had always had the desire to touch him like this, when he wore tight or sleeveless shirts, or when you went to his house and he opened the door shirtless; and now that you were actually doing it, it was so much better than you could have imagined.  

“Can I?” He asked when his hands found the straps of your bra and you gulped before nodding, unable to speak out of nervousness that the Gojo Satoru would see you naked. 

The Gojo Satoru who is popular, smart and good-looking. The one who has dozens of friends and girls following him, girls who would fight for his attention or even sleep with him.

But then you remembered it.

The man in front of you wasn't the Gojo Satoru, he was just Satoru, idiot sometimes. The guy who is present in all your childhood memories and in each of your special moments growing up. The one who sneaked into your family photos from an early age and used to cry when you beat him playing video games. The one who sometimes talked so much that all you wanted to do was put tape over his mouth and who still slept with a night light because he was afraid of the dark. 

Satoru who is your best friend and is always there for you, who always put you first since you were at the top of the pyramid of important people for him—he said it, not you—, who didn't hesitate to give you his shoulder to cry on and knew what to say to make you feel better; who likes to tease you and play pranks on you; who knows all your favorite foods and shares your love for whales. 

He’s the man you love and loves you back, to whom you seem to be giving more than just your body. 

When he took off your garment he immediately took one of your breasts into his mouth, running his tongue slowly around it, leaving it glistening with his saliva before moving on to the other, without forgetting to peck the whale necklace he gave you.

“You have the prettiest tits.” That almost made you want to slap him. 

“Shut up.” You laughed softly feeling your cheeks flush. You could tell you were starting to get comfortable with each other. 

“It’s the truth. They’re pretty— you’re so pretty.” Gojo chuckled before returning his lips to yours, he wanted more of that addictive taste of your lips that made him feel that he would never have the desire to kiss anyone else. 

Suddenly his hands went down to the edge of your panties and waited for your confirmation that everything was okay before taking them off, throwing them to the side of the bed. He sat on his calves to appreciate your completely naked body and almost wanted to thank you for letting him see you like that, you were as perfect as he imagined, even more. 

“God— I love you.” Now that Satoru was free to say it out loud, he would repeat it as many times as necessary. 

He didn't give you a chance to respond to his words when two of his fingers entered your mouth, slowly coating them with your saliva. You sucked them following his movements causing Satoru to mutter a low fuck at this sensual sight of you. 

When his fingers left your mouth he began to lightly caress them from your chin, down the middle of your breasts and over your navel until they reached the place where you needed him most. 

“So wet.” He remarked as his digits went inside you, he did it slowly to avoid hurting you, pausing until he was knuckles deep before pulling them out and repeating the action.

You threw your head back as his thumb began to make slow circles on your clit, almost embarrassed because Satoru's blue eyes were fixed on your facial expressions, paying special attention to your reactions and feeling proud that he’s the one who’s causing them. 

His free hand went to caress one of your mounds to increase the stimulation to your body, which seemed to become more sensitive to his every touch, so it wasn't long before you began to feel your orgasm building. 

“You close?” He asked with his eyes full of admiration. You nodded before closing your eyes and squeezing the sheets with your fists— but that expression of pleasure turned into a frown as the stimulation on your clit was lost. “I know angel, I know, hold it for me. I wanna taste you.” 

Satoru bent down until his face was in the middle of your legs, facing your most intimate part with eager eyes. You were about to tell him it wasn't necessary, feeling somewhat embarrassed at the closeness of his breath against your pussy, but you couldn't find your voice and even less so when he started to spread wet kisses on your inner thighs with his fingers still inside you at that slow pace he had set, keeping your orgasm close but not quite reaching it. 

“Oh fuck.” You murmured as his mouth finally circled your clit and soon after he began to move his tongue. “You taste so good.”

Satoru had always considered himself a man who enjoyed giving pleasure; and now, that it was you, the woman he loves, he not only enjoyed it— he loved it and wanted to give you the best he could, and hearing your pretty moans was enough to make him euphoric, maybe lovesick. 

The sensation that had been cut off before returned with more intensity; Satoru recognized that you were close again, so he began to suck on your clit as just a few minutes ago he had discovered you liked by the way your walls clenched his fingers when he did it. 

You bit your lip hard trying to hold back the high moan that wanted to escape your throat as you lifted your hips when you felt your orgasm take over your body. 

When he looked at you while you were cumming in his mouth, he couldn't help but fall in love with the sight, again; and he also couldn't help but feel butterflies in his stomach when one of your hands went to caress his white locks lovingly as you climaxed. 

Fuck, she's so cute. 

“Want to continue?” Satoru asked in a soft voice while sitting back down on his calves, lips still glossy with your fluids. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

You smiled as you sat, his vibrant blue eyes connected to yours all the time. You recognized that look. It was the look you had often caught him staring at you from long ago, the same look from when he gave you the necklace and the same look from when you showed him the final result of your party outfit this afternoon and he said you looked beautiful.

Maybe that's his look of love. You felt stupid for not noticing it sooner. How come you didn't notice it before? It was almost obvious. 

But he felt the same way, maybe everyone around you had realized how you felt about each other except the two of you, because you were constantly living in a bubble where you were trying to convince yourselves that there was nothing more than friendship. But now that bubble had burst. 

You put both of your hands on his cheeks to kiss him again, savoring your own taste from his mouth before saying, “I think I told you I wanted you.”

Your best friend chuckled, “I just wanted to be sure.”

With his big hands on your waist he pulled you back against the sheets, then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, you noticed the visible bulge and gulped, still unable to believe that this was actually happening. 

Gojo removed the garment along with his boxers at once, becoming completely naked to your eyes. He was undoubtedly blessed everywhere you looked. 

He wrapped his hand around his dick and moved it up and down before positioning himself at your entrance. Satoru had never felt this excited, his heart was racing at the fact that you would be his and he would be yours. 

He looked down at you as he leaned with his forearm next to your head while he ran his hard member through your wet folds to lubricate himself, unable to contain the moan that escaped his mouth at the contact of his sensitive skin with yours.

“I’m goin’ in.” Your best friend announced before slowly pushing the first half inside you, he immediately felt the tightness of your walls around him and closed his eyes for a few seconds enjoying the sensation. You were so tight, so warm, so perfect. “Oh god.” 

When he opened his blue eyes again he met your pretty face with furrowed eyebrows and tight lips, he recognized that you were feeling some discomfort so he gave several kisses to your cheek while he pushed the rest inside. 

“Tell when I can move.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against yours while his free hand caressed the flesh of your thigh. 

You nodded shortly after he finished his sentence, so he tightened his grip on your thigh as he began to thrust slowly but deeply. 

It was a matter of minutes when the moans of both of you increased as well as the speed with which he rammed into you. Your body began to rock backwards continuously at every clash of his skin with yours, so you wrapped his arms around his back, digging your nails in lightly each time his cock hit your g-spot. 

Satoru leaned back without stopping his thrusts to better admire the way your pussy sucked him in and then ran his eyes all over your body. He murmured a fuck to the swaying of your breasts and immediately placed his hands on them, caressing and squeezing to his liking. 

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He bent over you again to join your lips with his in a kiss a little more messy than the previous ones. 

In his mind, Satoru thought this was unlike any affair or one-night-stand he had ever had before. He was giving you everything— himself, his body and his soul. He was practically putting his heart in the palms of your hands giving you the freedom to do whatever you wanted with it.

This is how sex should feel, he thought. 

“I’m close.” You gasped after breaking the kiss as you felt on the verge of your climax once again. 

He returned his forearm to the side of your head and with his other hand began to make circles on your clit, hurrying the orgasm that had already begun to build in your belly. 

“I got you, angel.” His lips went to lightly suck the skin behind your ear, trying to be careful not to leave marks. 

“Satoru—” He had always liked the sound of his name coming from your mouth, but the fact that you were moaning it thanks to the pleasure he was giving you made it a thousand times better. “I’m—” 

You lifted your hips a little as you felt your orgasm come, it was much more intense than the previous one which made your walls tighten around Satoru's length, who couldn't help but moan out loud at the sensation as if you wanted to push him out. 

“Fuck— you feel so good.” 

He dropped down on your body and settled his head on your neck as his thrusts became more sloppy. Your hands returned to his back, you wrapped your legs around his hips to feel him deeper inside you and closed your eyes enjoying the sounds of his panting that gave you chills. He sounded so beautiful that you almost had a hard time assuming it was because of you. 

“I love you. I love you so much.” Were the words that left his mouth the moment he came inside you after you murmured he could. He collapsed onto your body a second later, feeling your breasts against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. 

It was intense, Satoru couldn't remember the last time he had cum like that, he blamed the whole hurricane of emotions that happened for the last hour. 

“Sorry, I'm crushing you.” He mumbled after a minute as he leaned on his forearms to look at your face again. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You placed your hands on his cheeks and caressed his soft skin with your thumbs before kissing him. “Never thought you loved me back.”

He smiled and gave a short kiss on the palm of your hand that was still on his cheek, “We're kinda dumb, aren't we?” 

“I think we are.”

Satoru moved to lie back on the pillows, taking you in his arms to hug you against his chest. You left a peck on his shoulder before pressing your cheek against it and smiled when you felt his hands caress your back. 

“This is nice.” You said after a comfortable silence. 

“Right? I can get used to this.” 

“Me too.” You closed your eyes enjoying the remaining fragrance of his cologne before abruptly opening them remembering something a little too important. “Shit! Satoru, we need to go back.” 

“Why?” His caresses on your back disappeared when he realized it too, “Fuck. How long have we been here?”

You were so focused on your little bubble of love that you forgot that your family was still waiting for you downstairs. 

“About an hour?” You replied, looking at the time on your phone to also realize that there was a message from your mother fifteen minutes ago asking if everything was okay. “Just put your clothes on.” 

He turned on the light while you searched the room for your clothes. You threw him his boxers, he threw you your dress, and in less than five minutes you were fully dressed and in front of the mirror trying to look as presentable as possible. 

“I look fine, let’s go.” You said turning around to walk towards the door, but your best friend's sudden grip on your wrist stopped you in your tracks. “What is it?”

Gojo took your hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss your knuckles, “Happy Birthday.”

You smiled at his words, “Thank you.” You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him one more time.

“Should I ask your dad for his blessing?” He asked teasingly when you pulled away from his lips, you rolled your eyes playfully before grabbing his arm to drag him to the door.

“Let's go downstairs, c’mon.” 

Who would have thought that your pity party would take such a twist?

[pluviophile-imagines]

𝚞 𝚙 𝚍 𝚊 𝚝 𝚎 𝚍 ��.  .  .  .  dec. 12, 2022

𝚒 𝚗   𝚢 𝚘 𝚞 𝚛   𝚊 𝚛 𝚖 𝚜 : a collection of short fics about cuddling with various characters

𝚜 𝚎 𝚟 𝚎 𝚗 - 𝚑 𝚞 𝚗 𝚍 𝚛 𝚎 𝚍   𝚏 𝚒 𝚏 𝚝 𝚢   𝚏 𝚘 𝚕 𝚕 𝚘 𝚠 𝚎 𝚛   𝚎 𝚟 𝚎 𝚗 𝚝 : kiss prompt fills (multi-fandom)

𝚑 𝚊 𝚠 𝚔 𝚜 .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Pretty Boys and Problem Children: your troublesome cat escapes your apartment, and the number two pro hero saves the day; then sticks around because you’re cute and quick-witted.

〉Pretty Birds and Chickadees part 1, part 2: you've been growing close with hawks, but for some reason he keeps pulling away every time you try to take the final step.

𝚐 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚘 𝚛 𝚌 𝚊  .  .  .

𝚜 𝚌 𝚎 𝚗 𝚊 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘 𝚜

〉defending gang orca at a party

𝚍 𝚊 𝚋 𝚒 .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Not a Proposal: you’ve been dating dabi long enough to know that he’s not the marriage type. you’ve also been dating him long enough to know he likes to surprise you.

𝚜 .   𝚝 𝚘 𝚖 𝚞 𝚛 𝚊  .  .  .

𝚜 𝚌 𝚎 𝚗 𝚊 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘 𝚜

〉doing that one thing where you put your hand up against a guy's and flirt

〉nightly routine with shigaraki

〉you’re the only thing that can make tomura feel like himself

〉warlord!shigaraki and king!shigaraki

〉warlord!shigaraki pt.2

〉playing zelda w shigaraki

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉My Lady: (pirate au) there was one thing captain shigaraki tomura failed to factor into his perfect revenge scheme against his rival: falling in love with the man's fiancé.

𝚕 𝚊 𝚍 𝚢   𝚗 𝚊 𝚐 𝚊 𝚗 𝚝  .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Where The Heart Is (COMING SOON): your girlfriend of over a decade breaks out of prison and her first stop is home to you.

𝚝 .   𝚖 𝚒 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘  .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Jinx: you accidentally jinx your support partner and crush, and now you have to kiss him to break his string of bad luck.

𝚖 .   𝚒 𝚣 𝚞 𝚔 𝚞  .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉The Photos: (pro hero au) you’ve been dating the number one hero for nearly a month now. it was only a matter of time before the public found out.

〉Talk Too Much: (pro hero au) your new favorite regular—the one who always wears hero merch—turns out to be the number one hero deku, and you turn out to be a dumbass.

𝚜 .   𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 𝚝 𝚊  .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Washing Dishes: (pro hero au) sero’s been your roommate for almost nine months, but you don’t know much about him. now, though, you’re both stuck social distancing in your apartment, and it’s hard not to fall for a guy when you’re washing dishes together.

𝚝 .   𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚞 𝚝 𝚘 .  .  .

𝚜 𝚌 𝚎 𝚗 𝚊 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘 𝚜

〉shouto as the guy you never look twice at… until you do

〉a misunderstanding between you and shoot

𝚔 .   𝚎 𝚓 𝚒 𝚛 𝚘 𝚞  .  .  .

𝚜 𝚌 𝚎 𝚗 𝚊 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘 𝚜

〉playing never have i ever during a blackout

𝚋 .   𝚔 𝚊 𝚝 𝚜 𝚞 𝚔 𝚒  .  .  .

𝚜 𝚌 𝚎 𝚗 𝚊 𝚛 𝚒 𝚘 𝚜

〉calling bakugo for comfort during a storm

〉pro-hero bakugo never understood love (until you)

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Pumpkin Spice: (pro hero au) you don’t know much about ground zero, except that he’s a selfish asshole who keeps stealing your coveted pumpkin spice muffin in the morning and eating it. right in front of you. with that stupid smirk on his face.

𝚕 𝚘 𝚗 𝚐   𝚏 𝚒 𝚌 𝚜

〉Sleeping in the Garden (6 parts): (pro hero au, single dad au) bakugo katsuki is your next door neighbor, and he’s just gotten custody of two girls he’s far too young and far too inexperienced to be a father for—but he’s bakugo katsuki, so he’s damn well going to do it anyway.

𝚝 .   𝚗 𝚊 𝚝 𝚜 𝚞 𝚘  .  .  .

𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 - 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜

〉Cold Mornings: lazy mornings with your boyfriend are hard to come by, but he’s always looking for warmth in the winter.

⇚   𝚠 𝚎 𝚊 𝚝 𝚑 𝚎 𝚛   𝚛 𝚎 𝚙 𝚘 𝚛 𝚝

[formulavilla7]

Max Verstappen x Horner daughter reader

Hope you enjoy, this is my first F1 fanfiction! Let me know what you think. I want to say a massive thank you to @harleysarchive for helping me work some things out in regards to this, check out her amazing stories! Will try and make this a series

The lights were dimmed and the music blared as people celebrated the race weekend. It had been a successful one for Red Bull with Max coming home first in the Monaco Grand Prix and Sergio had narrowly missed out on a podium, finishing fourth.

The Austrian team had decided that a party was in order especially now that Max was leading the drivers’ championship and so the room was full of Red Bull drivers, past and present alongside staff members and some other guests that had been brought along. The team weren’t particularly picky and welcomed anyone to the celebration so long as they were up for a good time.

It was here that the race winner stood, talking to his former teammate and close friend, Daniel Ricciardo. With a drink in their hands the two chatted away about anything, laughing and joking with each other.

It was during this that something, or rather someone, caught Max’s eye causing the Dutchman to lose focus on what Daniel was telling him. This drew the Australian’s attention and he smirked when he saw what Max was looking at.

“Someone caught your eye mate?” He said teasingly, waggling his eyebrows

“Shut up Daniel” Max replied, embarrassed to have been caught

“Come on mate, you can’t deny it. I saw you staring. Spill”

His friend sighed “Alright, who’s that girl standing with Christian? I was looking at her”

Daniel guffawed “That’s Y/N. Christian’s daughter.”

“Shit, that’s his daughter? No way, she’s beautiful. I didn’t recognise her.”

There was good reason for this. Y/N Horner rarely attended races with her father anymore. He vaguely remembered meeting her when he’d first joined Red Bull from Toro Rosso at 18 and he hadn’t seen much of her since. She’d changed a lot in the six years between and he was sure he had too.

She was always busy when he visited the factory in Milton Keynes and the rest of the time Max was in Monaco or at races.

Christian had been going around the room with his daughter introducing her to people and he was now walking towards Max and Daniel.

“Hi Max, Daniel. This is my daughter Y/N. I don’t suppose either of you have seen much of her for a while. Y/N, this is Max Verstappen. I think you might have met a while ago. He’s our race winner and current championship leader. What a talent he is. This is Daniel Ricciardo, he used to drive for us a few years ago if you remember?”

Max offered her a smile “Hi, it’s been a long time.”

“It has, it’s nice to properly meet the famous Max that dad’s always mentioning. He mostly says good things.” She winked

“Only mostly? Well I’m sure I can set the record straight with the bad things.”

“Can Daniel back you up on that?” She said teasingly looking at the Australian

“Well nobody’s perfect right?”

“So what you’re saying is that the bad things are true?”

“Depends but I’m sure they can be explained. Right Max?” The McLaren driver joked, trying to be a good wingman to his former teammate

“Yeah I mean they’re probably just misunderstandings”

“I’d be interested in hearing the stories behind them one day then” she said flirtily, smiling “I think I’d better go though, it was nice seeing you both again.”

Y/N allowed Christian to lead her away to be introduced to other people and Max couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He’d enjoyed talking to her and found her humour and friendliness refreshing.

Daniel noticed his disappointment and decided to tease him because of course he did. This was Daniel and that was his brand. “Is my company not enough for you Max? You know I’m hurt, I really am. You’ve spoken to her for what, ten minutes, and you already prefer talking to her over me. Six years we’ve known each other Max.” He was really going for the dramatics, placing his hand over his heart in fake pain.

“I never said I preferred talking to her over you Daniel, that’s your words.”

“She was properly flirting with you though mate. You’re playing a dangerous game here being interested in Christian’s daughter. Be careful, I know he likes you but you do want to have a seat at the end of this year.” Daniel cautioned his friend, he could see the beginnings of chemistry between them in the short interaction and he wanted Max to be happy but Christian Horner was sometimes unpredictable so he wanted Max to be on his guard.

“I know but I mean we’ll see where it goes. I’m surprised Christian didn’t say anything to be honest. It’s like he didn’t even realise what was going on.”

“Alright mate, just warning you”

“I appreciate it mate but let’s just enjoy the party right?”

“Cheers to that” agreed the Aussie

Max spared one final look at Y/N who was standing with her father, smiled to himself and then turned to Daniel to finish the conversation they’d been having before Y/N had arrived quietly hoping that there wouldn’t be six years between this and their next interaction.

[isolatedbubble]

Romance in MXTX, Priest, and SHL

MXTX: Flower, Wine and Dreamworld

The romance in MXTX's works is like flower that grows in ice and snow; colorful, bright and hopelessly romantic, blossoms in misery and hardships.

It features a distinct "us against the world" mindset, depicting love as the only constant in the world. It's an eternal "dreamworld" detached from worldly matters, the perfect escapism as well as a source of strengths in the face of cruel reality.

Both MDZS and TGCF are a critique of mob mentality.

The contrast between CQL and MDZS is very interesting. While the former ends with LWJ taking charge, and therefore changing the world for the better, the novel ends with wangxian isolating themselves from grand politics and focusing more on helping individuals as recluse. It has an essentially pessimistic attitude towards the morality & intelligence of the collective. 

TGCF takes a slightly more optimistic approach, featuring the crowd being courageous under the right circumstances. However, both works share a similar undertone: putting one’s absolute faith in the collective is dangerous, whereas unconditional trust and devotion can be only found in one-to-one connection

MXTX herself compares MDZS and TGCF to 花间一壶酒 (A cup of wine among flowers), MDZS being the wine and TGCF being flower. She also compares MDZS to 风雪夜归人, the person returning home from snow and wind, and TGCF to 红泥���火炉, a small red furnace.

Priest: Breezing Wind and Burning Iron

The romance in priest's works is more complicated. It's the most gentle in its normal state, when it is rational and collected, in which case it's like the breezing wind, soothing, sweet and light-hearted. It gives the individuals more incentive to achieve their individual and/or societal vision, as well as more reason to value their own lives & well-being.

In Faraway Wanderers, the most distinct feature of WenZhou relationship is how in naturally sync they are, and how comfortable & smooth their dynamic is. They both have past burden, but it doesn’t matter, because they bring simple joy, understanding and happiness in each other’s lives.

In Sha Po Lang and The Guardian, the ML’s lingering love for the MC motivates them to become better version of themselves, to care about others, and to form a holistic vision about bettering society. 

In The Defective, Lin Jingheng(MC) explicitly said that Lu Bixing(ML) is the only meaning in his life. He had little incentive to care about his own life after his revenge plan fell apart. LBX helped him reconnect with his inner idealism, and gave him a reason value his life.

When the passion and fiery energy manifests itself, however, the romance is like burning iron, blood and fire. It isn’t actually toxic or unhealthy, but it's not pure and innocent either; in this case, it strives for something deeper and more intense, never content with the past or the present. The sheer intensity of relationship is like a double-edged sword, walking the fine line between unconditional devotion and dangerous obsession. 

SHL: Spring Water and Healing Open Wounds

The romance in SHL is like "spring water"; it's warm, gentle, nurturing. It breaks through the boundary between individuals to bring the couple closer to each other, taking them back to a utopia of their childhood dream, away from social pressure and responsibility. The theme central to their relationship is “salvation”: how love is able to bring people back to integrity.

Both drama wkx and drama zzs have lots of regret about their past sins and wrongdoings. Four Seasons Manor is essentially a metaphor for purity, acceptance and the safety of childhood home. How to make drama wkx open up and accept this safe harbor as his home is one of the most significant plot-lines of the show.

SHL couple is way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive. A significant part of SHL arc is healing the wounds in an open and honest way. They cuddle and confide in each other way more often, talk about their shameful past and even cry about their regrets in front of one another, which is very rare among MXTX/Priest works.

The heat of the relationship sometimes gets too hot and even burns; in other words, there are constant miscommunications, conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship. However, they can never let each other go, because it's the only source of warmth left for them in their hopeless lives filled with regrets and guilt.

Similarities and Differences

*Note that this is not a SHL/TYK comparison. TYK is kind of an “unorthodox” priest novel; you will know what I mean if you have read 3+ of her works. 

Relationship Dynamic & Narrative:  

In MXTX’s works, the concept of “romance” itself is divined; and the characters are illustration of the ideal of “undying love”. People are made for one another, to complete one another. Her works use colorful symbolism (silver butterflies, the emperor’s smile, the 3 thousand lanterns, etc.) to depict this romanticized ideal of love. 

For MXTX, the romanticization of “destined love” is one of the most recurring themes of her novels. Therefore, the readers look at their relationship through rose-color glasses. Obsession is usually framed in a jolly & romantic light, and doesn’t feature much tension or stress, and has less negative or unhealthy undertone. 

In most of priest’s works and SHL, soulmates are not born but made, so they have to figure out how their relationship works step by step. Therefore the narrative is less of a “rosy picture”. 

Priest has a habit of using derogatory terms to describe relationships that are mostly healthy, but somewhat “bloody” and edgy, full of excessive passion and obsession. The most common phrase is “爱生忧怖”, a Buddhist term meaning “love results in worry and fear”. 

SHL obviously has to be more subtle in expressing love. That said, drama WenZhou are way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive than their novel counterparts, as well as most Priest & MXTX characters. They have a dramatic falling out once in a while, even towards the end. They barely fit the Chinese definition of Zhiji (to know me/to understand one another), but are “lovers” who are buried deep in their passion instead. 

Past, Future and Evolvement: 

In SHL, characters are encouraged to treasure past impressions that are thrown in figurative “wrappings”, whose luster is derived from age-old experiences (Psychological Types, Carl Jung). In other words, they are encouraged to root their love in a shared past, a Utopia of innocence. 

The contrast between The Defective and Word of Honor is very interesting to observe. Both involve long separation, and the suffering and personality changes hat comes from it.   SHL narrative frames their innocent childhood as something to cling to and return to. Drama WKX is encouraged to accept his identity as Four Seasons Manor disciple because it was part of his childhood past. This is a significant part of drama WenZhou relationship.

In The Defective, the narrative doesn't encourage the couple to dwell on the past that much. On the contrary, the all-knowing AI explicitly discouraged the MC from “comparing past to present”. They are advised to accept changes, however painful it might be, and build a better, more equal dynamic out of it, evolving from one-sided pandering to fighting side-by-side.  

In Priest’s novels, the characters rarely return to something in the past, but look into the future. Change is usually framed as inherently beneficial, albeit usually painful and rocky, the implication being that you need to constantly strive for something better.  

Sha Po Lang is a good example of this, with Gu Yun’s changing attitude towards Chang Geng after he as he matures, gradually showing his intelligence in politics. CG starts referring to GY as Zixi instead of YiFu is also a sign of this change---to see him as equal rather than a parental figure & protector.

The Defective is even more obvious in this regard, with both parties uncomfortable with the change initially, but gradually adjusting to the changes during their 16-year separation. The ML also stops calling MC by his surname “Lin”, as a sign of viewing him as equal. 

In MXTX’s works, change in personality or relationship dynamic is neither framed as painful or good. It just happens. It’s a natural flow that take place when it does. Their relationships are rarely challenged by change. They are objectively at a better place compared to their past, but it’s merely the result of a series of events rather than a deliberate choice or struggle.  

WangXian’s relationship naturally changes over time after WWX’s rebirth, but neither of them really struggles with the change. 

Xie Lian doesn’t even recognize Hua Cheng as the someone from his past, so they start out as friends getting to know each other. 

Salvation and Changing one another: 

Priest herself stated in an interview that she doesn’t believe in the concept of salvation, since people have the inner capacity to be their own savior. Therefore, priest characters usually don’t actively try to change their partner’s morals or personality. Some might be willingly influenced by their partner, but there’s rarely an element of moral condemnation. Even when there is a conflict between different values, the options are 1) to reconcile them by choosing the middle ground 2) to maintain their independence and tackle it with nuance 3) to break up.

On surface level, Mo Du/Silent Reading is about Luo Wenzhou being Fei Du’s salvation. However, as LWZ pointed out himself, Fei Du would’ve been a good person at heart with or without his influence. 

In The Defective, when Lu Bixing mistakenly thought Lin Jingheng stayed in the Eighth Galaxy against his own wishes because of their relationship, and that their priorities are irreconcilable, he even thought about breaking up. Of course he was not serious about it, but this showcased that he would never try to change LJH’s convictions. 

In SHL, however, the concept of salvation is central to the theme. Some find it strange that SHL make drama zzs the more “moral” one of the two, despite his action being more objectively questionable. In fact, the only reason he get framed as more “moral” is that he admitted his fault sooner, and therefore could guide drama wkx’s path back to salvation: to recognize the goodness in people, make peace with external world, to clear his name in Jianghu, and to follow due process with his revenge plan to avoid collateral damages. 

“I tried to change you, but you end up changing me”, said drama ZZS. This relationship dynamic is never present in any of priest’s works I’ve read. Priest characters don’t *try* to change one another. 

Does MXTX believe in salvation? Hard to tell. One could argue that Hua Cheng would have be way more amoral and even immoral if it hadn’t been for XL. This is complicated and is a topic for another time.

However, it is certain that MXTX MCs don’t condemn each other morally. “The orthodox one defending their unorthodox partner in front of the world” is a common wuxia trope, but the way MXTX novels approach it is very different from SHL. 

HuaLian never had a serious falling out about being on different sides. Even when they disagree, they respect each other and love each other exactly the way they are. Hua Cheng didn’t approve of Xie Lian saving Mu Qing, but he didn’t interfere with Xie Lian’s decision. Xie Lian feels responsible for helping Shi Qingxuan in Blackwater arc, but he is perfectly fine with HC helping He Xuan keep secrets. In several cases where they have different values, they are able to make it work with ease.

LWJ never *morally* condemned WWX for his action, and never once objected to WWX practicing demonic cultivation after his rebirth. In fact, LWJ never objected to WWX’s morals; in their previous life he was worried about his safety, and struggled with what to do about certain situations due to his family background, but difference in morality is not an issue for them. 

The “righteous” one does not feel the need to guide their unorthodox partner or to be their salvation with regards to integrity. 

*The similarity & differences part is a bit messy and some points are not fleshed-out. Sorry about that. 

**I don’t claim to have the right interpretation. The lens by which we see different styles of romance is ultimately subjective. 

[pusangkambing]

How c!Fundy is actually "Choose people, not sides incarnate"

This is an old analysis about c!fundy that i made after doomsday about how c!Fundy is literally the embodiment of c!Ranboo's "Choose people, not sides" belief. Idk if people have already made analysis like this and I'm not really good at making things like this but Ive just decided to just put it out there anyway lol

You know how Ranboo is always on about "Choose people, not sides"?

Fundy is literally "Choosing people, not sides" incarnate, and here are my reasons as to why:

1. He has always chosen Wilbur- from the very beginning, a lot of what Fundy does is for Wilbur. When it was first established that Fundy is Wilbur's son, Wilbur made it clear that he didn't have to fight in the war because he's the first natural born citizen of Lmanberg, but Fundy fought in the war anyways and that reason is Wilbur, because he wanted Wilbur to acknowledge him, to actually see him as a man and what he can do and not just baby him and belittle him. The only times he actually went against him was during The Election, where Fundy ran his own party with Niki, and not only just because he doesn't align with any other party's ideals during that time, but also again to prove himself to his father, that he is actually capable of taking care of the nation that Wilbur made for him. The second time was when he turned into a spy under Schlatt’s reign to destroy Manberg from the inside, all of that has been his attempts to get Wilbur to finally notice him. You can argue that it made the relationship worse considering that Fundy had to publicly disown Wilbur as his father in order to keep up his facade, but it doesn't really change the fact that that was another one of Fundy’s attempt to be given the recognition he wanted from Wilbur, no matter how badly it backfired.

The only time where Fundy felt like he was betrayed by Wilbur was when he died, as seen with his confrontation with Ghostbur and his conversation with Quackity, Tubbo and Ghostbur while they were rebuilding New Lmanburg. He wasn't mad at Wilbur for blowing up L’Manburg, he wasnt mad that Wilbur didnt choose him as the new president, he wasnt mad that Wilbur ended up betraying their side, he was mad that Wilbur chose to die.

2. He was the first OG Lmanbergian to ever forgive Eret- the entirety of the Lmanbergians were betrayed by Eret inside the Final Control Room, and because of this both Wilbur and Tommy have always been hostile with Eret afterwards. Tubbo didn't really interact with them a lot during that, so i can't properly gauge how Tubbo felt about them. But Fundy was the first person to approach them again, starting with the harmless pranks that they both do to each other. Fundy was the first person that trusted them again even after Eret had been the cost of their first lives and had nearly cost Lmanberg its freedom.

Eret was also the only person that Fundy trusted enough to reveal his plan as a spy to, while Tommy and Wilbur consistently refused their help when they kept trying to redeem themself. He also trusted Eret enough as a parent figure and was ecstatic when Eret said they were going to adopt him.

This isn't really him choosing someone but its more of a way to show that Fundy doesnt care too much about a person's side and how he values his relationship with them more than their side.

3. He very nearly chose Schlatt- While he was a spy under the guise of serving Schlatt, he very nearly turned after Schlatt actually gave him acknowledgment. When he actually saw the country that Wilbur made for him nearly flourish under Schlatt’s regime, and when Schlatt actually acknowledged him for his worth and capabilities and not just babied him like what Wilbur did, he was conflicted on who to choose. On one hand, he was a spy to prove himself to his father, on the other hand, Schlatt is actually giving him the acknowledgment that he has craved for his entire life. He was so conflicted that he even dedicated an entire entry in his spy diary of how he has conflicting feelings on which is right.

Only after Schlatt proved himself to be the tyrannical dictator that he is did Fundy solidify his resolve as a spy and ultimately chose Wilbur again.

4. During Doomsday, Fundy chose Ranboo-  this conversation hurt so much, especially because Ranboo unfairly judged Fundy while Fundy was actually breaking down. Ranboo criticized him for always choosing the winning side and for being a coward when its actually the complete opposite of that. Fundy has never been a coward, he never ran at the face of danger, he never strayed from his ideals, and he is willing to go through such far lengths just to be able to prove himself of worth (i.e running against his father, burning down the flag, double crossing etc etc.) Fundy has also never chosen the winning side, again, he is the actual poster boy for "Choose people, not sides". From the very beginning he has always chosen people, and now at this situation whether he realized it or not, he chose Ranboo.

During the New Lmanberg era, when Ranboo just recently joined, he and Fundy formed a quick friendship. Starting immediately with building and ice cream business together, exploiting the various glitches that Fundy found (flying strider, fundy boat glitch), decorating for the Green Festival together and just hanging out in general. Both of them got really close during this time, something even akin to brotherhood. But that all changed after the Green Festival, after Doomsday. Because of the misunderstanding, and because both of them were not in their right minds during Doomsday, both released hurtful words hurled towards each other. But what Ranboo didnt realized when Fundy said he was teaming with him, was that Fundy chose him. After he sabotaged Lmanberg's supplies, after he just watched the chaos and destruction unfold on the land that his father gave him, Fundy ultimately chose another person, the person he was closes to at this time, which was Ranboo. I don't blame Ranboo for misconstruing what Fundy said. Both of them weren't in the right mindset at all during that time, with Fundy having a breakdown and Ranboo thinking that staying alone and individuality is the only right answer, but that doesn't really deny the fact that Fundy still chose him, Ranboo.

Note: after reading this again ive just realized that not only is c!Fundy the embodiment of c!Ranboo's belief, c!Fundy actually has the backbone to go through with it lmao. As long as you give him love and acknowledgment he's basically ride or die with you.