#and the only thing my doctor had to recommend was a medication ive already tried (and had a bad reaction to)

[ink-asunder]

Having demand avoidance in a medical setting is literally hell. Like, patient autonomy is already absolute ass. It's only made worse when doctors CONSISTENTLY tell you what to do and act like you HAVE to do it instead of consulting with you first like normal fucking people.

[boycritter]

mris were normal 👍

[bekandrew]

A Good Trans Medical Story

This morning I had surgery today for the phase 1/trial period/temporary version of the nerve stimulator bladder implant I'm supposed to be getting (and first of all, holy shit! A relatively minimally invasive and easily reversible trial period for implants!!!). I'm decades younger than the usual patient that needs this, but I had sepsis earlier this year and it fucked up a lot of things, including leaving me walking with a cane. It should be noted that I'm transmasc and I live in Mississippi. Even though the doctor I was seeing wasn't in a religious hospital when I saw him for appointments, he had surgical space at one of the religious hospitals - and his people had marked me as Male in my records. Even when I had to clarify with the receptionist at the Mississippi religious hospital that I was trans because it was potentially relevant to the surgery, she was kind and happy to help me, and even went out of her way to ask a supervisor how to enter the information properly so it wouldn't get messed up. It should be further noted that the surgery had nothing to do with transitioning in the slightest, I was just a person who happened to be trans seeking healthcare. Even the original sepsis had nothing inherently to do with my transness, really, just poverty and being brushed off as "med-seeking" until I was obviously and visibly dying. The surgical nurse was polite when asking whether I still had the equipment needed for pregnancy to determine whether I needed the routine pre-procedure pregnancy test. No one gawked or made a big deal about anything. There was only one person who misgendered me, but I don't remember how long they were actually in the room, and I don't know whether they even saw anything other than my long hair. So I don't know for sure whether it was malicious and will choose to believe it was accidental because the rest of the experience went well. Beyond that, when I was (as usual) a difficult stick for the IV - I probably have some scar tissue in places from the sheer number of times I've been hospitalized or needed ER trips - the nurse tried only a couple short times before reaching for the lidocaine and using what would be a normally painful spot in the wrist. he got a great, painless IV line in only one more try and I wish hospitals would just do that sort of thing with me from now on. 11/10.

The surgery itself was also significantly less painful than other surgeries I've had before, and they provided low-dose but still completely sufficient medication and recommendations for how much ibuprofen to take. My symptoms already seem to be getting better to the extent I hadn't realized quite how bad they were before and I'm very excited to get the full implant soon after the trial period is over. My quality of life is going to increase measurably.

[atlafan]

Sweet Tooth - One Shot

a/n: dentistrry is here!! I only researched a couple of things, so if you’re in the dentistry/medical field please don’t come for me if things are inaccurate, it’s just a fic, you know? This ia really cute, sweet, datey fic, so I hope you enjoy! Feedback and reblogs are super helpful! (not proofread) Consider buying me a coffee if you’re able! 

Warnings: fluff and smut (the word molested is used, nothing bad happens or has happened to the main characters, it’s just mentioned during a conversation)

Pairing: Harry x OC

Words: 18K

“Dad, I can go by myself.” Abby groans to her father.

“I have to make sure everything gets billed correctly. Your dentist said only two are impacted, so only half is covered my medical and the other half is covered by dental.”

She huffs out a sigh, but nods her head as they enter Tufts Medical Center. Abby was finally getting a consult for her wisdom teeth. Perhaps at the age of twenty she felt a little late to the game for this, but her mouth had only started to hurt a little this past year. She was a little nervous about being knocked out for surgery, but she also just wanted her mouth to feel better. It was the summer before her junior year of college, so now was the perfect time to get it done. Abby and her dad make their way through the building, and get to the floor they need to be on.

“Abigail Simmons.” Her dad says to the receptionist and she nods.

“Someone will be out for her shortly. Did you have her most recent x-rays sent to us?”

“Yes.” Her dad says, and they both go to take a seat.

Abby’s leg was bouncing and she was chewing on her bottom lip. It was just a consult, there was really nothing to be worried about.

“Abigail?” Her eyes widen as she looks over at the person who just said her name. He had a toothy smile and was wearing a set of blue scrubs. She and her father both stand up. “Hi, I’m Harry, you can follow me.” He smiles to the two of them as he leads them to the consult rooms. He gets Abby situated in the dental chair. “Just so you both know, I am a student, but a competent one, which is why one of the other nurses isn’t here, but one of them will come by shortly, and so will the doctor.” He sits down on the stool and wheels over to Abby as he puts his gloves on. “Heard your mouth’s been sore, huh?”

“Y-yeah.”

“She called me at school in tears.” Her dad says and she glares at him.

“College student?” Harry raises an eyebrow and looks back at the computer to review her x-rays. “How old are you?”

“Twenty.” Abby says.

“Your teeth are, like, really straight. Did you have braces?”

“When she was in middle school. She stills wears her retainer.”

Harry and Abby both look at her father and blink. He was really starting to piss her off. She could answer for herself.

“Well, you’ve got a very good girl here, don’t you, Mr. Simmons? Listen, uh, this is going to take a few minutes. I need to look at all of her teeth and confirm the ones that are impacted and if the other two have room or not. There’s another waiting area right over there. I’ll call you back over once the doctor’s here. Would that be alright?”

“It’s just…Abby’s really nervous-“

“Dad, please, I’m fine.”

“Alright.” Her dad sighs. “I’ll be right over there.”

“Bit of a helicopter you have there.” Harry smirks at her.

“Thank you for getting rid of him. I bring myself to the doctor all the time, but for whatever reason he was adamant about coming to this.”

“It’s major surgery I don’t blame him.” Harry grabs a bib to put around Abby. “So, you go by Abby?”

“Mhm.” She blushes as he clips the bib in place and adjusts her hair.

“Is it true, are you nervous?”

“A little…mostly about the surgery, not so much about the rest. I’m not one of those people that’s afraid of the dentist.”

“No worries, love, you’ll be in good hands with us.” He smiles. “I’m gonna put the chair back now, alright?”

“Okay.”

The chair slowly goes back, and he situates a pair of sunglasses onto her before fixing the light over her eyes.

“Could you open up for me as much as you can? I’ll try to be as gentle as possible since I know you’re experiencing a lot of discomfort.”

She nods and opens up wide. She feels his pinkies enter her mouth and feel around her gums. She winces a few times when he brushes up against the back of her mouth. She hears him whisper sorry a few times. Abby tries to focus on anything else. She focuses on how green his eyes are, and how seemingly perfect his skin is. Her mind wanders to how people get skin like that. What’s his routine? How could she get skin as smooth? Does he see a dermatologist regularly?

“Okay, Abby, I’m gonna out the chair back upright, and go grab your dad and the doctor. Hope that didn’t hurt too much.”

“It was fine, thank you.”

Abby’s dad, two nurses, Harry, and the doctor all come over to her to discuss her teeth. She definitely needed all four removed. They settle on a date for her to come back and have the procedure done, and Harry gives her the rundown on how to prep for the surgery.

“We’ll see you in a couple of weeks, Abby.” Harry smiles.

“You’ll be here?”

“You bet.”

Even though she was nervous as fuck to go under, she was almost excited to see the handsome dental student again. At least it was something to look forward to.

//

Abby had an early morning surgery, and she had to stop eating the night before. So she was exhausted and starving, not to mention she was a ball of nerves. Her dad drove her in for the appointment, and assured her he’d be there afterwards.

“Abby?” Harry comes out all scrubbed up and ready to go. She stands up and waves back to her dad before going with him. He brings her over to a consult chair and types on the computer. “Alright, whatcha have for breakfast?”

“N-nothing, I haven’t eaten since dinner last night.”

“Good girl.” He says without looking at her. “And what about a midnight snack?”

“Harry, I haven’t eaten since dinner last night.”

“You remembered my name?” He asks as he turns to her, and she blushes.

“Sort of hard to forget the British guy that told my dad to go sit somewhere else.” She smirks, and it makes him laugh. “Will you be in the operating room?”

“Yup, I’ll be there the whole time. I’m the hand holder.”

“The hand holder?”

“Mhm, while they’re helping you get to sleep I’ll be holding your hand, making sure you’re alright. I also get to put the IV in your arm.”

“Lucky you.” She deadpans and it makes him laugh again.

“What are you in school for?”

“Psychology. I’d like to be the type of doctor that doesn’t have to deal with all this.” She gestures around the room.

“Helping people on a whole other level, I see.” He nods.

The doctor comes over, and she must have gotten asked about four more times if she had eaten breakfast. She gets settled in the chair in the new room where she’d be operated on. She watches as Harry gets the IV in her arm, and then he holds her hand, just like he said he was. He was wearing a mask now, but she could tell he was smiling.

“Don’t worry, Abby, the next time you wake up these nasty teeth will be gone.”

She nods at him and squeezes his hand as they get the oxygen hooked up to her nose. His thumb rubs the back of her hand as a nurse puts the mask over her mouth, and her eyes slowly start to droop. The last image she has is Harry’s hand in hers.

When Abby wakes up, her eyes immediately well up with tears as she looks around the room. She sees her dad sitting in a chair reading a magazine, and she sees the IV still hooked up to her arm. She makes a whining noise and her dad looks over at her.

“Hey, you’re awake.” He smiles. “Everything went really well, honey. You did great.”

After about ten minutes a nurse comes in and takes the IV out. In her daze she tried looking for Harry, but she couldn’t find him. She was so delirious she could barely walk, and her dad had to help her to the car. She just wanted to say thank you to Harry for holding her hand, but she never got the chance.

//

Several years later, Abby had finished her master’s degree in counseling, and just finished up her licensure program. She already had a few different job opportunities lined up. The one she wanted most was at a local university at a counseling center. Being a student in today’s age was tough, and Abby wanted to be someone they could open up to. She had done extremely well in her postgraduate internship, so she had impeccable recommendations. She just needed to narrow things down to what school she wanted to work for, and that ultimately came down to benefits. She ended up going with UMASS Boston. It was a school a lot of her friends attended, so she sort of knew the campus, it was easy enough to get to by train, and the benefits were great.

After getting the first semester under her belt, Abby was feeling confident in what she was doing. She was truly helping students. She’d even be able to go for her PhD for free after she had six months under her belt. With winter break underway, Abby was getting caught up on some self-care, which meant going in for her annual cleaning.

“Hello, this is MidCity General Denstistry, may I please speak with Abigail Simmons?”

“This is she.”

“Hi, Abigail, this is a call to remind you of your appointment this week.”

“Right, Wednesday at 3PM?”

“Correct, and I have to inform you that your usual dentist, Dr. Morgan, has recently retired.”

“Oh…I mean good for her, I just liked her a lot.” Abby chuckles.

“Don’t worry, our new doctor, Dr. Styles, is amazing and everyone’s really like him so far. He’s taking over all of Dr. Morgan’s patients.”

“Okay, that should be fine. See you Wednesday!” Abby hangs up the phone and puts an extra reminder on her phone so she wouldn’t forget.

On Wednesday, she checked in and was brought into the back by a nurse, Marie. She was the dental assistant that would be doing her cleaning, nothing out of the ordinary. Although, Abby was starting to get aggravated because Marie kept sticking the pick into the same tooth in the back of her mouth. She hears Marie sigh.

“Abby, it seems like you may have a cavity. Dr. Styles will be able to confirm it. Let me polish you up, and then I’ll go get him.”

Before Abby has a chance to respond, Marie was already polishing her teeth. She was left to lay back in the chair while Marie went to get Dr. Styles.

“Hello, Miss Simmons.” Abby’s eyes widen when she hears his voice. He sits on a stool and wheels over next to her. “I’m Dr. Styles, nice to meet you.” He extends his hand to her and she takes it. “Mind if I take a quick peak at everything else before I inspect this possible cavity?”

“N-no, go ahead.”

“Thank you, open wide for me.”

She does so, and he sticks his gloved fingers into her mouth, feeling around her gums, and making sure everything’s alright. Next he grabs the tools and does a quick inspection of her overall mouth before poking at the tooth that Marie said was the problem. Abby notices how he hum along to the music playing on the radio. It was almost soothing.

“Okay, I’m gonna hit the button so you can sit up.” He says to her. Marie moves the light, and Abby takes the sunglasses she was given off. Her eyes widen again when she gets a good look at him.

Abby had come into contact with a lot of people in her life since the time she was twenty. It would be odd to remember someone that helped with her oral surgery, but too much was adding up. A man with a British accent, the same green eyes, and he was in the dental profession. She was finally going to get a chance to thank him.

“You have a cavity.” He sighs.

“I’ve never had one in my life.” She shakes her head.

“Happens to the best of us.” Dr. Styles chuckles. “Are you eating a lot of sweets?”

“Um, well, I’m a counselor at UMASS Boston, and I tend to suck on jolly ranchers when I’m meeting with students. Helps remind me to just sit and listen and not interrupt.”

“Ah, that’s a pretty good trick. Maybe try sugar free gum?”

“No, gum gives me a headache.” She shakes her head. “I prefer to suck than to chew.”

“Right.” He swallows. “Maybe try sucking on some mints then?”

“Sure, I can try that.” She smiles at him.

“Good girl.” He smiles back at her. That just sealed the deal it was definitely him. “Marie here will help you set up an appointment so I can take care of this for you.”

“You’ll be doing the procedure?”

“Mhm, you’re stuck with me now…unless you want to switch to another doctor, which I hope you don’t. Hope you’re not missing Dr. Morgan too much.”

“Not as much as I thought, that’s for sure. Um…this may be a weird question, but did you happen to be a student at Tufts Medical Center?”

“I was! It’s where I went after I got my bachelor’s. I can perform oral surgery, but I much prefer doing stuff like this. Can fill a cavity in my sleep. How did you know I went there?”

“I…this is going to sound so weird, but, like, six years ago you…held my hand when I got my wisdom teeth out.” Harry’s eyes widen at that. “Normally I wouldn’t remember someone so well, but…it’s not every day I have a British doctor.”

“Oh, wow, you remember me doing that?”

“Yeah, and we left before I ever got a chance to say thank you for keeping me so calm. So…thanks.” She blushes.

“I wish…I wish I remembered that. They often had me as the hand holder. How nice for our paths to cross again, huh? Promise to be just as good a dentist as I was at holding your hand.”

“That’s all I could hope for.” She smirks, and it makes him chuckle. “Right, well, Marie, please help Miss Simmons set up her appointment with me so we can get this cavity filled.”

“Sure thing, Dr. Styles.” Marie says as she makes a few clicks on the computer.

Just like that he was gone. He had grown into quite the handsome man since she last saw him. Not that he wasn’t before, but he looked more adult now. She wondered how much older he was than her. More importantly, she wondered if he was single.

//

It was about a week later when Abby came in to have her cavity taken care of. Marie was the dental assistant again which brought Abby some comfort. Marie gets her prepped in the chair as they wait for Harry to come into the private room.

“Alright, good morning, Miss Simmons.” He says brightly.

“You can just call me Abby if you want…” She says shyly.

“Okay, Abby, it is. Let’s fill this cavity, yeah?” He sits on the stool and wheels over to her. “Gotta give you a spot of nova cane, but before I do that we have to numb the area a bit, so this little thing that looks like a lollypop is gonna go in.” Abby nods. “Open up for me.” She does so. “Good girl, thank you.” He places the numbing stick inside her mouth and she scrunches her face. “I know, it doesn’t taste very good, sorry.” He stands back up. “I’ll be back in about five minutes.”  

True to his word, Harry comes back five minutes later, and takes the numbing stick out of Abby’s mouth. Next he has her open up so he can administer the nova cane. He tells her she might feel a slight pinch, and she accidentally grabs onto his thigh.

“S-sorry.” Abby says as she takes her hand off him. “I may not be afraid of the dentist, but I really don’t like needles.”

Harry and Marie share a glance, and then Harry looks at Abby.

“Marie, would you mind handling the nova cane so I can hold Abby’s hand?”

“Sure thing, Dr. Styles.”

Harry hands the needle to Marie, and then Harry grabs onto Abby’s hand. He smiles softly at her, and she’s able to focus on him and not the needle going into her gums. Marie says it’s all set, so Harry gets back into position with the drill.

“If it hurts, just let me know and we can numb you a bit more.” Harry says to her. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

Abby pinches her eyes closed the second the drill comes into contact with her tooth. Thank god Harry was wearing a mask because he couldn’t help but smile at how cute she looked. Luckily, Abby didn’t suffer too much. The procedure didn’t take too long, and she was sitting upright before she knew it.

“You did great.” Harry smiles at her. “So, that side of your mouth will be numb for a bit. Give it a few hours before you eat anything, avoid hot foods.” Abby just nods her head along, too embarrassed to speak because she knew she would sound stupid. “Have you made your appointment for your next cleaning?” She nods again. “Great, Marie, I’m just gonna go over another few things with Abby, feel free to go on your break.”

“Oh, alright. See you in six months, Abby.” Marie smiles, and leaves the room as Abby waves to her.

“I actually already went over everything with you. I…uh…just wanted her to step out.” Abby’s eyes widen at that. “I was actually wondering, um, if you’d like to go out for coffee sometime…you know, when you can have hot liquids again.” He blushes and so does she. She nods yes at him quickly. “You do? Great, um, can I have your number then?” Abby frantically reaches for the phone in her pocket, unlocks it, and then hands it to Harry so he can add his contact. “I’ll call you in a couple of days so we can set something up, yeah?”

She smiles and nods as she takes her phone back. Her heart was fluttering. She felt like she was in a dream or something. Coffee couldn’t come soon enough.

//

Harry called Abby a couple of days later, just like he said he would, and they agreed upon what coffee shop they should meet up at on Saturday. Her mouth was feeling much better, and she was really excited to see him. She was still in shock that he asked her out in the first place. She thought she’d have to wait another six months to see him again.

He got to the coffee shop first, and decided to wait outside for her. He smiles when he sees her and they step inside.

“It’s on me.” He says. “Get whatever you like.”

“Oh! That’s so nice of you.” Abby blushes. “Thanks.” They each order and grab a table to sit at. It was too cold outside to go for a walk.

“I just want to preface by saying I’ve never asked out a patient before.” Harry says to her.

“So…why ask me out then?”

“I just found it really endearing that you remembered me, and all you wanted to do was say thank you to me for doing something so simple.”

“Harry, I had just turned twenty, I was practically still a kid. I had never gone under or had a surgery before, I was petrified. My dad was just as nervous, you were the only thing that calmed me down.”

“So, that would make you roughly twenty-six now?”

“Yes it would.” She smiles as she takes a sip of her coffee. “How old are you?”

“I’ll be thirty-two next month.” It was an age difference both of them might have been against those years ago, but not now. They were both well into adulthood, had their careers, and had some life experience under their belts. “It’s killing me that I don’t remember you.”

“It’s really okay. You’ve probably seen so many patients. I’m sure years down the line I won’t remember every student I’ve met with.”

“Right, you said you’re a counselor at…?”

“UMASS Boston.”

“And how do you like doing that?”

“I love it, honestly. I feel so bad for these kids, they have so much on their plates, under all this pressure. It’s really brave of them to come ask for help, so I like giving them a safe space. Some meetings are more serious than others, so it’s never boring. I feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.”

“That’s amazing. Feel like I do better talking to people in small spurts, that’s what’s so great about being a dentist. People can’t strike up small talk when you’ve got your fingers in their mouth.” He laughs and so does Abby.

“How long have you been at MidCity for?”

“Like…six months, I think. I like it a lot, everyone’s really nice. Marie’s my favorite assistant, though, sometimes her kids come in and they’re really cute, and her wife bakes the best brownies.”

“She’s usually the one to do my cleanings, I like her a lot too.”

“Can I ask why you chose jolly ranchers to suck on? I mean, how many students are you meeting with? You must go through a ton.”

“I do.” She blushes in embarrassment. “I got them when they were on sale after Halloween…I’m definitely going to try the mints like you said.”

“Good, I’m glad.” He smiles as he takes a bite of his bagel.

“So, how does a doctor such as yourself not already have a girlfriend?”

“Getting right to it, huh?” He smirks and she nods. “Medical school takes up a lot of time, and then when I first started as an intern, I was constantly overworked. I was doing surgeries left and right, I was too exhausted to try and make anything serious work. Then I decided I’d rather be working at a practice. I still do a lot of teeth pulling, but not as much as I was. And now that things have slowed down a bit, I just haven’t met someone I’ve wanted to be serious with.” He shrugs. “What about you?”

“Same thing, sort of.” She giggles. “Grad school was a lot, and then interning was a lot. Now I’m just really settling into my job. I survived the first semester, now I feel like a pro.”

“That’s a good feeling to have. Is your commute long?”

“Not really, I just take the green line to the red and I’m there. Obviously the trains can be unpredictable, but it beats having to pay for a car and car insurance. What about you? Are you in the city, or out in the suburbs.”

“Oh, I’m in the city. I drive to work, though, I’ve got my own parking spot at the back of the building.”

“Well, we can’t all be so special.” She smirks.

“No, I suppose not.” He smirks back at her. “How’s your tooth feel, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s fine, thanks. You’re really good at your job. It was nice of you to hold my hand when Marie did the nova cane.”

“I felt so bad that you were scared.” He reaches across the table and places his hand over hers. “When you grabbed onto me I knew I had to do something.”

“God that was embarrassing. I would have felt so violated if someone did that to me.”

“It’s not like you grabbed my dick, Abby, it’s alright.” He gives her hand a squeeze.

“Right.” She lets out a nervous laugh. “So, do you work a standard Monday through Friday at MidCity, or how does all of that work?”

“Yup, pretty much.” He takes his hand away from hers. “I mean obviously if there’s an emergency we have to cancel appointments, but for the most part we leave spots open for surgeries so people are able to book those easy enough. I usually pop by the cleanings in between cavity fillings and other stuff.”

“What made you want to become a dentist?”

“Well, I knew I wanted to work in the medical field, but selfishly I didn’t want the long hours at hospitals. I don’t have to be on call, like, I don’t have to worry about emergencies in the middle of the night. Not often, anyways.”

“I feel like I would get grossed out looking at teeth all day.” Abby chuckles.

“It’s not as bad as you think. I try to separate the teeth from the person. Like, I was able to give all new teeth to this recovering meth addict. She had this incredible story, and I knew I had to help. She had been sober for five years, but no one would hire her because of her teeth. Now she’s working a corporate job doing great.”

“Oh, wow, that’s amazing.”

“You must have some great stories with your students.”

“Yeah, I’ve really bonded with a few of them. Sometimes they just need someone on their side, you know? A lot of them are first in their family to go to school, so they’re doing a lot on their own.”

“That’s a lot of pressure.”

“You have no idea.”

“Well, it’s good they have a nice person like you to help them.” Harry smiles warmly at her and she smiles back. “Would you, um, would you be interested in going out for dinner some time?”

“I…yeah, I’d love to.” She blinks a couple of times. “I’m free most nights right now because we’re on winter break.”

“You don’t have to go into your office at all?”

“I just answer emails from home.” Abby shrugs.

“Sweet deal.” Harry grins. “So, how would Thursday night work for you?”

“Thursday works great.” She smiles.

They both throw out all of their trash and step out of the coffee shop. They share a gentle hug, and go their separate ways. Harry said he’d call in a couple of days to let her know where he’d be taking her, and she was beyond excited.

//

Friday night, Harry picked Abby up in front of her building. When he saw her, he got out of the car to open the door for her and she giggled.

“That’s a nice coat.” He says to her.

“Thanks, I got it on sale at L.L. Bean back in August. Keeps me nice and warm.”

“Oh, I love shopping there! Once in a while I’ll take the drive up to New Hampshire to go to the actual store to get the really good stuff. The boots I got from there for the winter will last a life time.”

“Yeah, it’s just good quality stuff. I usually get a decent coupon in the mail or online.” She chews her bottom lip. Clearly Harry had a little more money than she did. “Where are we eating?”

“You’ll love it, it’s this nice Italian place at the North End. I remember you said Italian was something you liked when we spoke on the phone.”

Abby smiles at him and he looks at her briefly to smile back. He finds a place to park, somehow, and they walk towards the restaurants. She hadn’t been to the North End in a while since most of the places were expensive. Harry puts his hand on the small of her back as they walk in, and he tells the hostess he has a reservation. She leads them over to a table for two and he pulls out the chair for her.

“So, how’s your week been?” Abby asks him.

“Pretty good, fit this one person with a new tooth, did a couple of crowns. Same old, same old.” He shrugs. “How about you?”

“Good, I did some virtual sessions with some students who are having shitty winter breaks. I went into the office for a team retreat, and then I updated some spread sheets.” She chuckles.

“That’s nice of you to do virtual appointments.”

“It’s all part of the job.”

“Good evening, folks.” A waiter comes over with water and a basket of rolls. “I’m Parker, can I start you off with any drinks or appetizers?”

“Abby, would you care to get a bottle of white for the table?” Harry asks her.

“Oh, sure, that’s be great. Would Pinot Grigio be alright?”

“It’s perfect. A bottle of Piniot Grigio, please.” He looks down at the menu and furrows his brows at the appetizers. “Calamari?” He asks her and she nods. “Calamari, Parker.”

“Sounds great, I’ll be back in a moment with the wine and to take your dinner orders.”

“The calamari here is excellent, it’s lightly fried in peanut oil so it doesn’t feel heavy.”

“What do you recommend for an entrée?”

“Everything’s good. What are you in the mood for?”

Abby looks down at the menu and her eyebrows raise at the prices.

“Maybe just one of these pasta dishes.”

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t get the cheapest thing on the menu. Get whatever you like, it’s my treat.”

“Harry, this is gonna be really expensive.”

“I wouldn’t have brought you here if I couldn’t afford it, please don’t worry about it.”

“O-okay, then…maybe the steak tips with the pan seared peppers.”

“If that’s what you want then you should have it.” Harry smiles. Parker comes over with the bottle of wine, and pours the first two glasses for them. “I’m really glad we could do this tonight.” He grins. “I…found something when I was going through some old things the other day.”

“Oh?” She raises an eyebrow as she sips on her drink.

“It was killing me that I couldn’t remember you, but then it hit me.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a card. “I’ve never been so thankful to be a packrat in my life.” He opens it and smiles. “Dear Harry, I never got a chance to say thank you when you held my hand before my surgery. I figured I’d drop this off when I came in to have my stitches removed. I hope this finds its way to you. You’re going to be a great doctor someday. Sincerely, Abby Simmons.” He smiles at her as he places the card back in his back pocket.

“You…you kept that?”

“It wasn’t often I got cards like that, so I kept it, and once in a while when I needed a pick me up I’d read it. As soon as I re-read it the other day I completely remembered you. I even remembered telling your dad to go sit in the other waiting room.”

“Oh my god.” Abby chuckles. “That was the greatest thing I had ever seen. Think that solidified the crush I had on you.”

“Telling your dad to basically leave you alone?”

“Yeah.” She smirks. “Super hot to see you be so sure of yourself and confident. Plus, he was really pissing me off, talking over me and answering for me.”

“Wow, so I guess I’m the one that away, huh?” He smirks.

“You certainly were. Although, I hadn’t thought about you in quite some time. It’s crazy that you ended up becoming my dentist.”

“Very crazy.” Parker comes over with the calamari and tells the two he’s going to put their orders in now. Harry watches as she sticks her fork into a piece and takes a bite. “You’re really cute, you know that?”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She smiles. “This is really good.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

The rest of the date goes really well. Abby and Harry continued to joke around and flirt. It wasn’t until the check came that she felt a little uncomfortable.

“How much is it?” She asks him nervously.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He smirks and slides his card into the slot, letting Parker take it. “Would you like to walk around for a bit, maybe get some dessert by the water?”

“That sounds great, but only if I can pay for dessert.”

“Deal.” He smiles.

Harry holds Abby’s hand as they walk through the little park by the water. Even though it was cold out, it was still a beautiful night. They duck into a gelato place for a little dessert. They decide to split something, which ends up being insanely romantic when Harry lifts his spoon to her lips. She makes a show of it as she takes a bite, licking her lips after and everything. He holds her hand during the drive, and lets her pick the radio station. He gets out and walks her up to the door once they get to her building.

“I had a lot of fun with you tonight.” She says to him.

“Me too.” He steps closer to her. “Do you see a third date in our future?”

“Definitely.” She nods. “Do you like bowling?”

“Love bowling. Are you, um, free Saturday night?”

“I can be.” She smiles. “Pick me up around seven?”

“It’s a date.” He smiles. The two stand there awkwardly for a moment, unsure if they should kiss or not, so instead Harry opens his arms for hug, and she wraps her arms around his neck. She kisses his cheek, and then he kisses hers. “I’ll see you Saturday, Abby.”

“See you Saturday, Harry.”

//

Harry was on cloud nine the next day at work. He couldn’t stop thinking about Abby, her smile, her laugh, the little beauty mark she has under right eye. He thought she was gorgeous, charming, and kind. Normally he’d never get involved with a patient, but he couldn’t help it with her. He thought it was so sweet that she remembered him after all this time, and he felt so relieved that he remembered her.

“You’ve had this dreamy look on your face all week, what’s with you?” Marie asks Harry while they’re eating lunch.

“I…sort of met someone, and we’ve been out a couple times…she’s great.”

“That’s great! Anyone I know?”

“Um…well, you know Abigail Simmons…”

“Of course I know Abby! Oh my god, is that why you asked me to step out of the room when you filled her cavity?!”

“I didn’t wanna ask her out in front of you.”

“Harry, since when do you date patients?” She whispers.

“Normally I wouldn’t, but it turns out I met her a long time ago. When I was a student at Tufts I assisted in removing her wisdom teeth.”

“Oh, wow, that’s incredible.” Marie blinks. “When are you seeing her again?”

“Tomorrow night. We’re going bowling, how fun is that?”

“Should be really fun.” Marie grins. “Look at you, putting yourself out there. Now Leigh and I can stop trying to set you up.”

“I’m excited about her. She’s got such a cool job too. I can’t wait to keep getting to know her.”

//

Since they were going bowling, they could easily just take the train, so Harry takes a cab to Abby’s building Saturday evening. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a sweater under his jacket. She comes down the stairs in her long coat, and a Patriots hat on top of her head.

“Hey.” He smiles at her, taking her in for a hug. “How are you?”

“Good.” She smiles up at him. “How are you?”

“Good, great, actually.” He takes her hand and they walk towards the nearest t-stop. They both swipe their Charlie Cards and hop onto the next train.  

“I hope you’re okay with candle pins…I’m not good with the big balls.” Abby says to him as they hang onto the same pole of the crowded train.

“I love candle pinning.” He chuckles. “No worries.”

They get to the bowling alley, are given a lane, and get their shoes. Abby takes her hat off and fixes her hair, and then unzips her jacket. She had a pair of jeans on with a red turtleneck. Abby was a short, curvy thing, and Harry absolutely loved it. When Abby first met Harry back when she was twenty, she was a tiny size two, but now she was a comfortable size eight and was fully embracing it. She was healthy, and that was all that mattered.

“Do you want anything to drink? I could get us a pitcher of beer.” Harry says to her as they settle into their lane. “I could get us some pizza too.”

“That sounds great, thanks.” She smiles as she slips her shoes on.

“Be back in a tick.” Harry goes over to the snack bar and gets two slices of pizza and a pitcher of beer. “Here we are.” Harry fills two of the plastic cups up with the beer, and hands one to Abby. “Shall we?”

“Mhm, I already set up the score sheets.” She shows him the large sheet of paper. “Not that I care that much about the score…it’s just fun to keep track.”

Abby bowls first, knocking most of the pins down, and then gets the rest on her second throw. Harry couldn’t help but smile as he watched her to do a little jog and hop as she threw the ball down the lane. He goes up next and immediately gets a strike.

“Woohoo! Go, Harry!” Abby says as she takes a sip of her beer. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a strike before.”

“I could show you how if you want.”

“Isn’t it just luck?”

“Nope, it’s all physics.”

“And…you’re good with physics?”

“Had to take it during pre-med, I even tutored for it. Come on, I’ll show you.” Abby gets up and grabs one of the balls. Harry goes behind her, and puts his hand on one of her shoulders, moving her hair so he can speak closer to her ear. “Okay, so what you’re gonna want to do is walk a little closer to the line, swing the ball back, and let it fly.”

Abby turns slightly to look up at him. Her cheeks were flushed. She nods at him, and does exactly what he said to do, and she gets the strike.

“Oh my god!” She squeals and throws her arms around him. “I can’t believe that worked! You’re amazing!” She kisses his cheek.

“You did great! Nice to know you’re good at following directions.” He winks at her and grabs his next ball.

After three rounds of bowling, and two pitchers of beer, they both head out. They take the train back to the stop nearest to Abby’s apartment, and Harry walks her home.

“I had so much fun tonight, Harry.”

“Me too, I’m glad you suggested bowling.” They both stop in front of her steps. “Can I see you again next weekend?”

“I’d like that.”

“Maybe if it’s not too cold we could go ice skating at Frog Pond.”

“Oh, I’d love to do that! I have my own skates and everything.”

“Perfect.” He smiles and steps closer to her. She looks up at him with her big brown eyes. He didn’t think brown eyes as beautiful as hers existed. “Abby, can I kiss you?” He asks softly.

“Yes.” She nods and smiles up at him.

He cups her cheek and leans down to her. His lips press to hers, and he uses is other hand to cup her other cheek. It’s soft and gentle at first, it grows a little needier as she presses her body to his, but she stops him from walking up the stairs. She pulls away first and blushes.

“Um, well, goodnight.” She says to him.

“Yeah, goodnight.” He rubs the back of his neck. He was sorting of hoping she’d invite him up. It was the third date, after all. Maybe she was a fifth date kind of girl, which he had to respect. “I’ll call you at some point during the week. I’ve got a few different surgeries, though, so if you don’t hear from me a lot that’s why.”

“No worries.” She shrugs. “I’m getting ready for the students to return, and I have some meetings to go to, some seminars, so I’ll be busy myself. Wanna just plan for next Saturday?”

“Sounds good to me.” He leans again to kiss her again, and she happily kisses him back.

“Okay, goodnight for real.” She giggles and walks up her steps. She waves goodbye as she goes into her building and he sighs.

Abby sighs happily as she gets into her apartment and squeals. She immediately texts her best friend everything about her date with Harry. She was so excited about him, and couldn’t believe he was actually interested in her.

//

They texted here and there during the week. Abby got a little brave and sent him a mirror selfie of her dressed up for work, and he sent one back of himself in his scrubs ready to go in for surgery. Her jaw nearly dropped when she saw him. She had seen him in scrubs before, but it was ages ago. He filled them out so differently now. Plus, the thought of him being a doctor just did things to her insides that she couldn’t even describe. He thought she looked gorgeous in her pin striped slacks and blouse. He couldn’t but think about how lucky each student was that got to sit and talk with her.

Harry was exhausted by the end of the week. He must have extracted over a dozen teeth, filled a stupid amount of cavities, and put on ten different crowns. He couldn’t wait to see Abby Saturday. He asked her to go to the pond a little earlier in the evening so they could get dinner afterwards. The decided to just meet at the pond. She was easy enough to spot now that he knew what her long coat and Patriots hat looked like.

“Harry.” She smiles when she turns to see him. They hug and share a quick peck on the lips. “Did you catch up on some sleep?”

“I did.” He sighs as they find a bench to sit down on to put on their skates. “Been looking forward to seeing you all week. How’d your seminar go?”

“Oh, it was great! It ended up being more of a training, I have a new certification too.”

“That’s amazing, good for you. I’m constantly going to lectures and stuff to stay up to date. I’ve published a couple of things too to some medical journals.”

“That’s so cool! Once I’ve been at UMASS for six months I can start taking classes for free. I’m gonns go for my doctorate, so hopefully I can start publishing some work too.” They both stand up and make their way into the rink. Abby puts her hand out for Harry’s and he takes it as they start to glide on the ice.

“That’s great that they have a program like that for you.”

“I know! I was super happy when I saw that in the benefits package.”

They skate around the rink a few times, enjoying the music that was playing. Harry guides them over to the side for a little break. He presses her against it, his hands going onto the railing, caging her in. She looks up at him, and he leans in to kiss her. She tugs on his coat to pull him closer, and the kiss deepens slightly. Abby really liked kissing Harry. He always tasted like mint, probably because he was constantly chewing gum, and his lips were insanely soft. She starts smiling and so does he, and he presses his forehead to hers.

“Do you feel like going to eat now?” He says to her.

“Yeah.” She nods.

They end up going to a Mexican restaurant not too far from the pond. They each get margaritas and laugh a lot. Harry talks about what it’s like to extract teeth during a surgery, and Abby asks if people ever want to see their teeth afterwards. He asks Abby how she copes when she has to deal with a heavier situation at work, and she says her little Shih Tzu, Marvin, helps make her day a lot better.

“That’s nice your apartment allows pets.” He says to her.

“Yeah, he’s only, like, nine pounds, if that. He’s so cute, do you wanna see a picture?”

“Of course!” Abby pulls out her phone to show Harry a few pictures of Marvin, and even a selfie she took with him. “He’s so cute, and so are you.”

“Thanks.” She giggles.

“He looks like a little stuffed animal.”

“He really does.”

“Why a Shih Tzu?”

“They’re really smart. They’re tough to train because they’re so stubborn, but once they get a little older they start to listen, and they’re pretty self-sufficient alone during the day. Although, sometimes I sneak him into the office.”

“How old is he?”

“About two. Do you have any pets?”

“Nah, I’m not home enough to take care of anything else. But I love dogs, I think they’re great.”

“Well, maybe at some point you can meet little Marv.”

“I’d like that.”

They square up the tab and Harry walks Abby home once again. They kiss for a while outside her front door. He desperately wanted to feel her tongue on his, but she wouldn’t open her mouth up. His hands squeeze at her hips, and she tugs on his jacket like she had done earlier.

“Well, I better get up inside.” She says against his lips and he hums his response as he continues to kiss her. She giggles into him. “Harry.” She smiles and steps back from him.

“Sorry, I just really like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you too.”

“When can I see you again?”

She takes her phone out to check her calendar.

“Are you free on Friday?” She asks as she furrows her brows at her screen.

“I think so. We could go to dinner, if you like. There’s this really great Chinese place in China Town that I love going to if you’re interested.”

“That sounds great, Harry.” She smiles. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Maybe…um, maybe we could meet up for lunch, or something at some point during the week.”

“Do you have time for something like that?”

“I’m sure I do. I can look at my calendar and let you know which day works best.”

“Okay.” She nods. “I’d love to meet up for lunch.”

“Great.” He leans in to kiss her again. “Hope you and Marvin have a good night.”

“Oh, we will. He’s probably antsy for me to get up there and give him all the cuddles I can. Text me when you know which day works for lunch.” She smiles and heads inside.

Harry couldn’t believe a little dog was going to be getting all of her cuddles tonight and not him. She was slowly killing him. He respected that she might want to take things slow, but to still not invite him up? He sighs and orders an uber back to his condo, hoping he’ll be able to fall asleep easily, and not stay up thinking about the girl who was slowly creeping her way into his heart.

//

Abby was able to meet up with Harry on Tuesday, but only for a quick walk, which she thought would be a great opportunity for Harry to meet Marvin. She gets his sweater and harness on, leashes him up, and out the door she goes. Harry was standing outside her building, in his scrubs, and a jacket, with two hot chocolates.

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes the warm drink from him. “Harry, this is Marvin.”

“Aw.” He pouts, and squats down to put his hand in front of Marvin’s nose before he pets him. “Nice to meet you little guy.” He looks up at Abby. “He’s even cuter in person.”

“Right? I’m really excited we could get out for a little bit today. He loves when I can take him for a good walk.” Harry stands back up straight and they all start walking. “Were you in surgery today?”

“Yeah, early this morning, and I’ve got another one later this afternoon. Didn’t make much sense for me to put my other clothes back on.”

“You look cute in your scrubs.” Abby says, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

Harry nudges her and he looks down at Marvin.

“He’s pretty quiet, huh?”

“He was yappy when I first got him, but he’s calmed down a lot. First summer I had him I spent a lot of time training him. Pretty much taught him not to bark unless someone’s trying to break in.”

“You must be good with discipline then.”

“I try to be. Although, I’m more of a fan of positive reinforcement.” They pull to the side as Marvin takes a tinkle near a fire hydrant. “Good boy, Marvin.” She says and gives him a kibble as a treat. “Kibbles are great treats. Can’t get fat off what he normally eats.”

“That’s really smart. Have you, uh, been laying off the jolly ranchers?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Styles, I didn’t realize we were in your office.”

“Abby…”

“I’ve been trying to, but I have a horrible sweet tooth. They’re the only candy I really eat. What’s the harm?”

“Your teeth rotting out?”

“Okay, good point. I mean, I haven’t had nearly as many since I’m not really meeting with students right now, and I’ve already gone out and bought a ton of mints for the next semester.”

“Good girl, that’s what I like to hear.”

“What do you say to your male patients?”

“Pardon?”

“It’s just…you say good girl a lot…do you do that with all your female patients, and if so…what do you say to your male patients? Also, I’m an adult woman. Do you say good girl to all adult women?”

“Abby.” Harry chuckles. “I think I’ve only ever said that to you.”

“Oh, fuck off, I bet you say it all the time.”

“I really don’t.”

“Then why me?”

“You’re cute, and I tend to be a flirt sometimes.”

“You consider calling me a good girl flirting?” She stops short and he turns to look at her.

“I do.” He nods, a smirk growing on his lips. “Do you want me to stop saying it to you?”

“N-no.”

“Alright then.” He grins and they continue walking until they get to Marvin’s turn around spot, and make their way back to Abby’s building. “I’m glad we got to meet up for a bit. Still on for Friday night?”

“Definitely.” She goes up on her tip toes to kiss him goodbye and inside she goes. Harry left her with butterflies in her stomach.

//

Harry was really hoping tonight would be the night something more happens between him and Abby. He just wanted to feel her body on his. He drives to her place around seven Friday night, and he waits outside the car for her.

“Hello, beautiful.” He says to her as she steps outside.

“Hey.” She smiles and kisses him. He opens the door for her and he jogs around the other side to get back in. He takes her hand in his as she drives towards China Town. “How was your day?”

“Good, really busy, but good. I tend to get a lot of kids on Fridays since it’s an easy day for them to miss school.”

“I bet the little kids love you.”

“They do, I like being goofy with them.” They get to the restaurant, and are seated. “Do you want to share a few things?”

“Sure, that sounds good.” She smiles. “I hardly ever come out here, how’d you find this place?”

“When I was at Tufts I used to come to China Town all the time since it’s close by. I got sick of eating at all of the same places, so I decided to come around here and branch out. This is obviously nicer, but I like it a lot.” They decide which dishes they want to share, and tell the waitress when she comes over. They both also order a couple of drinks. “The semester’s starting soon, right?”

“Yeah, on Monday, actually.”

“Oh, wow! Do you feel ready?”

“For the most part.” She nods. “The first week is usually quiet, and then I start to get booked out. That’s how it was last semester, anyways. I already have some of my regulars from last semester on my calendar for next week.”

“I bet they’re excited to see you, I know I would be.” He places his hand over hers and gives it a squeeze. “Abby, um, after dinner…I was wondering if you’d like to come back to my place for a bit.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you to offer, but I don’t want to leave Marvin for that long.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Another time, though.” She smiles and he nods at that.

A food runner brings their dishes over, and luckily nothing feels awkward, but Harry was sort of hoping that she’d offer to have him over after dinner instead. They both enjoy the food, and share a few laughs before heading back to Harry’s car. When he pulls up to her place they both linger for a moment.

“Thanks again for dinner, Harry, I had a great time.”

“Me too.” He looks at her. “Can I ask you something?” She nods yes at him. “Are you, uh, seeing anyone else? It’s okay if you are, we never said this was exclusive, I guess I’d just like to know.”

“No, I’m not seeing anyone else. I would have told you if I was dating around. Are you seeing anyone else?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She smiles. “Good to know.” She leans across the console to kiss him, and he kisses her back. He turns his body more so he can cup her jaw. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“I…I don’t think so, I mean, just usual weekend errand type stuff. Might be grabbing drinks with some friends in the evening, why?”

“I was just thinking maybe, um, you could come over for dinner, but if you’re busy-“

“I can cancel. I can get drinks with them any time.”

“Don’t be silly.” She smiles. “We can do it another night. We’ll figure it out. I better get upstairs.” She pecks his lips. “Goodnight.” She gets out of the car, leaving him speechless. He wanted to rip his hair out at this point.

//

“Harry, how things going with that girl you’ve been seeing?” Greg asks him as they sit in a booth at the bar.

“Yeah, you still like her?” Lenny asks.

“Things are going well.” He nods. “But I can’t seem to figure her out. We’ve been out, like, six times and she still hasn’t invited me up to her place. I invited her back to mind last night, and she said she didn’t want to leave her dog alone for long.”

“Have you kissed?” Greg asks.

“Yeah, we’ve kissed plenty of times. We just haven’t done anything else. I mean, we don’t need to jump right into bed, but it’d be nice to do a little more.”

“I get what you’re saying, man.” Lenny says. “Maybe she’s just nervous.”

“I didn’t think I was giving her a reason to be.” Harry sighs. “She invited me over tonight, but I stupidly told her I had plans with you lot.”

“What are you doing with us then?! Go pick up some dessert, and go get your girl!” Greg says.

“I can’t just show up at her place…I’ll look like a stalker. What if she’s not even home?”

“So text her.” Lenny shrugs. “See if she’s around and ask if you can stop by. Tell her you’re at bar in the neighborhood.”

“But I’m not. She’ll know I’m lying.”

“Dude, just text her and see if she’s around.” Greg says.

Harry takes out his phone and types out a text. He hesitates before hitting send.

Harry: Hey, Abby! Are you home? I’m finishing up with my friends a bit earlier than I thought…maybe I could bring some dessert over?

Abby: Hey! Yeah, I’m home, snuggled up with Marv. I’d love it if you came by, especially if there’s dessert involved lol

Harry: Great! I can be by in about 30 minutes

Abby: sounds good! See you soon

“Alright, I’m gonna go up to the bar and get a lava cake to go. Thanks for being so cool about this guys.”

“No worries, H.” Lenny says. “Good luck.”

Harry races to Abby’s once he’s gotten the cake, and she buzzes him in. He knocks on her door, and she opens it for him.

“Hey.” She smiles and steps aside. “Come on in.”

“Thanks.” He pecks her cheek. “Hope you like chocolate lava cake.”

“Love it.” She takes it from him. “So…this is it. It’s just a studio.” She blushes. “But the kitchen is its own area, which is nice.”

“It’s great.” He smiles at her. “You’ve definitely utilized the space.”

There’s a large monitor mounted on the wall, a desk underneath it with Abby’s laptop, and an HDMI cord connecting both. There’s a small couch a few feet back, and then her bed is up against the opposite wall. Everything was neat and tidy.

“I use this wireless mouse as a remote, and I have a Fire Stick.” She says. Marvin comes trotting in from the kitchen. “Marv, you remember Harry. I’m just gonna stick this in the kitchen. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.” She walks into the kitchen as Harry sits down on the couch. Marvin jumps up to sit in his lap.

“Hey, little guy.” Harry pets his head and scratches behind his ears. Abby comes back out. She looks really cute tonight. She was wearing glasses, her hair tied to the side in a braid, leggings and an off the shoulder sweater. “Hope I’m not intruding on your cozy evening.”

“Not at all! I’m really glad you texted, actually. Did you have fun with your friends?”

“I did, yeah.”

“Are they dentists too?”

“Mhm, we lived together while we were in medical school. Lenny and Greg.”

“Where do they both work?”

“At other practices around the city. Greg’s actually an orthodontist. They’re both junior partners, though, I’m the first of the three of us to become a senior partner at a practice. Guess that was the one good thing about Dr. Morgan leaving MidCity.”

“You’re so successful.” She bites her bottom lip and looks down at Marvin in Harry’s lap. “Look at that, you’re here five minutes and he already liked you better than me.” She reaches and takes Marvin from Harry, snuggling him to her chest before putting him on the ground.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Oh, I don’t. They’re just blue light blockers.” She takes them off and sets them on the side table next to the couch. “They help a lot when I’m on the computer for a while.”

“Ah.” He nods.

“What’s your place like?”

“I’ve got a condo, uh, it’s a three bedroom, but I use one as a home office.”

“Wow, good for you.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t always get to live so comfortably.”

“You’ve earned it, I bet you work really hard.” She smiles.

“I’m sure you work hard too.”

“True.” She nods. “But I’m paying off loans, and this is all I can really afford.”

“It’s a great place.” He assures her. “I wish the studio I had when I first started out was half as nice as this. I certainly didn’t keep things as neat as you.”

“Oh, I just rushed around to clean things up before you got here. It was a mess.” She laughs.

“I’m glad you were cool with me coming by.” He puts his hand over hers, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. “I’ve been having a great time with you this last month.”

“Me too.”

“My birthday’s next weekend, and…um, a ton of us are getting together at this pub…I’d love it if you could come.”

“Oh! Sure, would it be Saturday?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m there, I’d love to go. That’s so nice of you to invite me.” She leans in and kisses his cheek.

He looks at her, his eyes locking in on her lips. He leans in and presses his lips to hers. Her arms go around his neck to pull him closer, her fingers tangling with the curls on the nape of his neck. His arms wrap around her, hands splaying on her back to have her chest pressed to his. He lightly sucks on her bottom lip, and she opens up wider for him. He nearly groans as he licks into her, finally. She tugs on his hair as her tongue molds to his. One of his hands slides down her back and around to the front of her stomach. He just about reaches the band of her leggings when she grabs his hand, and moves it to her hip. He gives a squeeze and she whimpers into him. He plants kisses along her jaw to her earlobe, nibbling on it gently until he kisses on her neck. He mouths at her skin before sucking on her and she gasps.

“Don’t leave a mark.” She grunts, and she feels him nod against her skin. “H-Harry, is this the only reason you wanted to come see me tonight?” She blurts out and he stops to look at her.

“What? No.” He shakes his head. “I genuinely wanted to see you and split that cake. And…I mean…yeah, I’ve been wanting to do a little bit of this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I like you a lot, Abby, I can’t help it.”

“I like you a lot too.” She gives him a soft smile. “We can keep kissing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm.” She nods and brings her hand to the back of his neck to pull him back to her. This time she nibbles on his bottom lip and his hands go to her hips, squeezing and kneading. “Mm, but I don’t wanna go any further than this…not yet anyways. I hope that’s alright.”

“Of course it is.”

“I just…sort of wanna see where this is going before something so serious happens between us.”

“I get it.” He smiles. “I know you’ll be worth the wait.”

//

Harry: hope the first day of the semester has been treating you well!

Abby couldn’t help but smile at her phone. She knew Harry was extremely busy at work, so the fact that he took a moment to text her meant so much. The only thing was he texted her during a staff meeting, and her colleague Maya noticed her goofy smile.

“Abby, how was your break?” Maya asks her after the meeting.

“It was good! Um, I sort of started seeing someone.”

“Shut up! That’s amazing, who is it, how’d you meet?”

“His name is Harry…he’s, um, my dentist.”

“Oh, my, a doctor?”

“Yeah.” Abby nods. “We actually met years ago when he was still a student, and he just so happened to take over for my other dentist who apparently retired. It’s been a little over a month. He’s super nice, and funny…and he’s really fucking handsome.” She says the last part quietly.

“Good for you. Do you have a picture of him?”

“There’s one on the practice’s website. I haven’t, like, taken a selfie with yet. Although, I wish I had when he took me ice skating.” She pulls up MidCity’s website on her phone and shows Maya.

“Holy shit! He is handsome.”

“It’s going really well too. He’s met Marvin, and he invited me to his birthday party this weekend.”

“Wow, so you’re gonna get to meet his friends already?”

“I guess so.” She smiles. “The only thing is…do I get him a gift? And if so, what do I get him? I feel like it should be casual because everything’s so new still, but if it’s too casual he might think I’m not as into him as I am.”

“Shit, yeah, that’s a tough one.” Maya steps further into Abby’s office. The girls were close, so they were used to talking about personal things. “Have you slept with him yet? You could wear something for him to unwrap.”

“No, we haven’t.” Abby sighs. “I’m trying to take things slow with him because I really like him. We’ve made out a couple of times…”

“So…is that a no?”

“I don’t know, birthday sex as a gift? I feel like that’s so…cliché or something? Plus, I feel like he’ll be expecting it. I want it to feel more special than that.” She bites her bottom lip in thought.

“Oh! Have you been out to eat with him much?”

“Yeah, a ton, why?”

“Did you notice him order any specific types of alcohol?”

“Yeah! On our first real date he had this really nice bottle of white wine ordered to our table. It was delicious, and he loved it. I remember what it was, I could just get a bottle of that and a card, right?”

“I think that’s a totally acceptable gift. It’s sentimental, so it shows you put some thought into it, but also casual enough to show you’re not a psycho.”

“Exactly.”

Abby: you’re so sweet! It’s been a little busy with meetings and stuff, but other than that no fires to put out. Thanks so much for thinking of me, I hope you’re having a good day too! 😘

//

Harry didn’t want Abby to walk into the pub by herself, so he said he’d pick her up on his way. She insisted he didn’t need to, but he insisted that he did. She had a black dress on with black tights and blue heels. She zips up her long coat and runs her fingers through her hair. Her phone buzzes with a text from Harry that he’s downstairs with the uber. She takes a deep breath, grabs her gift, and heads downstairs.

“Happy birthday.” She smiles and gives him a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks, beautiful.” He opens the door for her and goes around to the other side. “Is that for me?” He points to the bag she’s settled into her lap.

“Maybe.” She shrugs a shoulder.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” He places his hand on her thigh.

“I said maybe, so this could easily not be for you. I guess you’ll find out later.” She side eyes him and it makes him laugh.

“How was your first week back to campus?”

“Exhausting.” She sighs. “But I caught up on sleep this morning. Everyone was excited to see Marvin.” She chuckles. “And it was good to see my friends and students.”

“That’s good.” Harry smiles.

“What about you? How was your week?”

“Busy. I had four different surgeries, a ton of cavities, and a fuck ton of cleaning check ins. I think a lot of college kids were getting in their bi-annual visits before going back to school.”

“Ohhh, yup, I bet that’s what it was. Is there ever a time of year you’re super busy?”

“I would say summers I do a lot of wisdom teeth removals, so I get bogged down there. Everything’s pretty consistent, though.”

“So, who’s going to be at this party?”

“My friends Greg and Lenny, who are very excited to meet you.” Harry smiles and gives Abby’s thigh a squeeze. “Some people from work, you know Marie, and Dr. Morgan’s going to be there as well. Some other med school buddies will be there. I’m only thirty-two it’s not really a big deal.” He shrugs.

“I’m excited to meet your friends too.” She smiles. “And it’ll be good that I’ll know a couple of people so you won’t feel like you have to babysit me.”

“Aw, babe, I wouldn’t feel like that. I wouldn’t leave your side if that’s what you wanted, no worries.”

She nods and smiles nervously at him. He just called her ‘babe’ and it filled her tummy with butterflies. The driver pulls up in front of the pub, and Harry gets out first so he can open Abby’s door. She smiles at him as he puts his hand on the small of her back to lead her inside.

“There he is!” Greg exclaims. “Happy birthday, H!” The two hug.

“Thanks, mate, this is Abby. Abby, this is Greg.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” She says to him.

“Same to you, you’re even lovelier than Harry described.”

Abby giggles at that, and Harry leads her over to the coat room. It seems the whole pub had been rented out for his party. There was a small table for gifts, so she sets hers down.

“Wow, you look amazing.” Harry says, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

“Thanks.” She smiles and leans in to peck his lips. “Wanna introduce me to some other people?”

“Yeah, come on.” He takes her hand and leads her back to everyone.

Abby gets introduced to Lenny, and some of Harry’s other doctor friends. She then gives Dr. Morgan a big hug, and she says hello to Marie and her wife. Harry gets Abby a glass of wine, and much to her surprise, he keeps his arm hooked around her waist for most of the evening. He clearly wanted her close by. His friends were kind, not at all arrogant, which was a tad unexpected since there were a lot of people with deep pockets in the room. Maybe doctors weren’t as snotty because they also had large student loan debts. They engaged her in conversation, asking about her work, and why the heck she wanted to spend her time with Harry, which made a lot of people laugh. Harry lit up when he was explaining how he and Abby actually met ears ago, and he talked about the card she had sent along to him, making her blush a bit. Everyone found the story to be quite endearing.

“Are you having a good time?” Harry asks Abby as they go up to the bar together.

“I am, your friends are great. Are you? It’s your birthday.”

“I’m having a wonderful time, even more so since you’re here.” He kisses her cheek and hands her a new glass of wine.

A tray of cupcakes is brought out, and everyone sings happy birthday to Harry. He blows out a few candles and thanks everyone for coming. The cupcakes were delicious, clearly from a nice bakery. Harry notices Abby getting a little bit of frosting on the corner of her mouth, and before she can grab a napkin, he’s catching it with his thumb and sucking it into his mouth. Her eyes widen as he winks at her.

“Th-thank you.” She says, clearing her throat.

“Don’t mention it.” He pecks her lips. “I was wondering something…”

“What is it?”

“Would you like to come home with me tonight? I thought it would be nice to spend some time alone after being so social.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I’d like that.” She nods.

“Will Marvin be alright without you?”

“Yeah, my, um, neighbor’s kid is actually watching him tonight. She’s a great pet sitter. I…I told her I may not be coming home tonight, so she’s fully prepared for a sleepover.”

Harry’s smile grows, and he kisses her again. After making the rounds to say goodbye to everyone, getting their coats, gathering all of the gifts, the two get into an uber to head to Harry’s condo. There’s a doorman that says hello to Harry and gives Abby a warm smile. She follows him through the lobby to the elevators. They step inside, and Harry hits a number on one of the higher floors. He leads her to his door, and he gets it open. She follows him into his living area, and they set his gifts down. He takes her coat for her, and hangs it up in his front closet.

“This is…a really nice place.” She says as she looks around.

“I’ll give you the full tour in a moment, I’ve been dying to open your gift all night.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “It’s really nothing special.”

He gives her an unconvinced look, and grabs the bag he remembers her bringing. They both sit down on the coach, and she watches him reach inside.

“A card, classic.” He smirks and sets it aside. He reaches back inside and pulls out the bottle of wine. “This is one of my favorites! How did you know?”

“I remember you ordering it when we went to that Italian place.” She smiles and he hugs her.

“Mind if I open it, or have you had enough for the night?”

“I’d love some.”

“Great! Just hang tight.”

Harry goes into the kitchen with the bottle. While she’s waiting patiently on the couch, Abby hears music come on. She sees a Bluetooth speaker light up, he must have turned it on from his phone. He comes out with two glasses of wine, and hands her one as he sits back down.

“Thank you.” She says as she takes a sip.

“No, thank you. This was really nice of you. You’ve got a great memory.” He takes a sip and sets the glass down on a coaster on his coffee table. She does the same. “My friends adored you, by the way. I’ve already got the texts to prove it.”

“I’m glad I made such a good first impression.” She inches closer to him.

He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear, and he leans in to kiss her. She wraps her arms around his neck, and opens her mouth for him. One of his hands falls to her thigh as the other one cups her cheek. Her fingers work their way into his hair, and he squeezes her hip.

“Abby.” He breathes, and moves to kiss on her neck, just under her earlobe.

She lets her heels fall off as she pushes him back farther on the couch. She moves to straddle one of his thighs, and she brings her lips back to his. His hands move up and down her back until they reach just above her bum. She grabs his hands and moves them down to her ass. He groans into her as he squeezes, loving how plump she is. She kisses along his jaw and to his neck, and she rolls her hips down onto his thigh. He raises it to help press into her. She whimpers into his neck, and he cups her cheeks so she’ll at him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bedroom?” He asks softly.

“I don’t wanna go to sleep yet.”

“I didn’t think you did.” He smirks.

“No, I just…I mean, if we go in there…that’s all I’ll want to do.”

“Sleep?” She nods her head yes. “Oh.”

“Harry, I’m sorry.” She sighs. “I know it’s your birthday, and you were probably hoping for some…stuff to go down between us, but I think we should wait a little longer. Is that okay?”

“Abby, I wasn’t expecting us to do anything. I mean, if we had of course it would have been nice, but it’s okay.” He assures her. “I’m just happy you wanted to come back with me.”

She leans back in to kiss him, and they continue to grope each other as they kiss. Their tongues swirl around each other, and she continues to rock back and forth on his thigh. She lets him puts his hands on her breasts, and he kneads them through her dress. He moves her to lay down on the couch and he settles himself between her legs as he hovers over her. He kisses on the tops of her breasts that were now spilling out of her dress. He sucks and bites on the plushier areas, eliciting a moan from her.

“H-Harry, maybe we should cool it before you turn me into a leopard.”

He chuckles against her and pecks her lips before he sits up.

“Would you spend the night?”

“I’d love to.”

He helps her up off the couch and leads her to the bedroom. He flips the switch for the lights, and her eyes widen. His bedroom was neat, almost a little too neat. She raises a suspicious eyebrow at him.

“I…um, have a housekeeper.” He clears his throat. “Let me just grab a few things for you. I’m assuming you’ll want something to sleep in?”

“Please.” She chuckles, watching him move to his dresser for a tee shirt and pajama bottoms.

She follows him into his en suite as he opens the closet inside to look for a spare washcloth and toothbrush. He sets everything down on his double vanity and smiles at her.

“Use whatever you need, beautiful.” He kisses her cheek and steps out to give her some privacy.

Abby strips herself of her clothes, and then washes her face. She brushes her teeth, runs her fingers through her hair, and then puts on the clothes Harry set aside for her. They were so soft and smelled just like him. She sighs happily and makes her way back into his bedroom. He smiles at her and stands up from the bed.

“Get comfortable, I’m just gonna do my thing.” He tells her and she nods. “There’s a spare phone charger on that side of the bed if you need it.” He points to the right side and she smiles.

When he’s done in the bathroom he comes out in a pair of plaid bottoms, but he’s gotten rid of his shirt altogether. He was littered with tattoos which really surprised her. She thought he only had the one little cross on his hand.

“When did you get all of those?” She asks as he gets into bed with her.

“All of what? Oh! My tattoos? Years and years ago, when I was a stupid teenager.” He chuckles. “Haven’t added to the collection in a while.” He looks down at himself. “Do you, uh, not like tattoos?”

“No! I think they’re really cool.” She furrows her brows as she scans his chest. “They’re so interesting.”

“Thanks.” He smirks.

“Did they hurt?”

“Some more than others. You sort of get used to it after a while. I’m assuming you don’t have any?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Just a few piercings.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” She tucks some hair behind her ear. “Got my cartilage, and three holes in each lobe.”

“Noticed those, I love the earrings you wear.”

“And…” She pulls the blankets back a bit and pulls the shirt she’s wearing up slightly to reveal her belly button. “Got this done when I was twenty-two. I always wanted one and said fuck it.”

“It’s cute.” He smiles as he admire the jewel attached to her naval. “Now that had to have hurt.” He says as she puts her shirt back down.

“It honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was just a little pinch, the guy took really good care of me. I was a little light headed after, and it was sore for a few days, but other than that it was fine.”

They stay up talking for a bit until they eventually fall asleep. Abby had moves to rest her head on Harry’s chest, and that’s how she fell asleep, to the smooth rhythm of his heartbeat. Harry couldn’t remember the last time someone spent the night in his bed and it didn’t involve sex, there was something sort of sweet about not doing anything and still be able to fall asleep together comfortably. Maybe there was something to this taking it slow thing.

The next morning, Abby woke up being spooned by Harry. His breath was fanning over the back of her neck, and he had a leg between hers. His arm was strung across her lower stomach lazily. She grabs her phone and sees that it’s about 8:30. She yawns and wiggles a bit to adjust herself. She feels his lips press a kiss into the back of her neck and his arm tightens around her stomach.

“You awake, darling?” He coos and it nearly makes her melt.

“Mhm.” It’s all she can manage to say.

“Good morning then.” He kisses the back of her neck again.

“Good morning.” She rolls over to her other side to look at him and he gives her a sleep smile. He leans into peck her nose, and he rubs at her side.

“Sleep alright?”

“Yeah, did you?”

“Mhm.” He nods. “I’m gonna wash up and then make us some breakfast, how does that sound?”

“Sounds amazing, Harry.”

He gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. When he comes out he’s thrown a shirt on, and Abby gets up to freshen up herself. She washes her face and brushes her teeth, putting her bra on under the shirt he had given her so she wasn’t putting on a show for him. She comes out to his kitchen and smells fresh coffee. She wanted to roll her eyes as she saw him using a French press.

“Hope you like hazelnut, it’s the only flavor I’ve got.”

“It’s perfect. Got any creamer?”

“Mhm, in the fridge.” He points to it and she opens it up, grabbing the creamer on the top shelf. It was pretty much full.

“I don’t use it myself, mostly keep it for guests.” He pours the coffee into two mugs.

“Ah, and do you have guests often?”

“None that I’d want to have a sleepover with, if that’s what you’re asking.” He kisses her cheek, and she pours the creamer into her coffee. “Now, what can I make you? What do you like for breakfast?”

“Oh, nothing fancy.” She shrugs. “Whatever you feel like making is fine.”

“Eggs and toast?”

“Works for me. Can I help?”

“You can help by just having a seat.”

Abby smiles and sits down on one of the stools at Harry’s kitchen island while he works to get the eggs out of the fridge. He ends up making scrambled eggs for the two of them to keep things quick. It was a pleasant breakfast. Abby thought it was cute that Harry genuinely read from the morning newspaper. She was resting her chin on her palm watching him.

“Anything interesting going on?” She asks him.

“Nah, it’s all negative.” He sighs as he flips a page.

“Could I have the funnies?”

“Sure!” Harry finds the chunk with the comics and slides it over to her.

“Thanks, I used to look forward to this every Sunday when my dad would pick up The Globe.”

“What was your favorite?”

“There was this one called Opus. There were all these different characters, and the story was pretty linear, which I thought was cool. I actually saved the last comic strip in a scrap book. The main characters, Opus the penguin, had gone missing or something and he was trying to find himself. It really tugged at my heartstrings.”

“Sometimes I forget not all of the funnies are just for kids.”

“I’m also partial to Family Circus, and I loved Zits.”

Harry smiles and goes back to reading the paper. He liked going over the sports and arts sections most. Abby helps him clean up the dishes and then she goes to get dressed.

“Do you want some sweat pants to wear so you don’t have to put all of that back on?”

“No, I’m okay. I’m just gonna put the dress on.”

“Won’t you be cold without the stockings?”

“I’ll be alright, but thanks.”

“Let me at list drive you home.”

“Okay.” She nods.

The ride was comfortably quiet as Harry kept his hand in Abby’s. He pulls over to the side to stop in front of her building, and they look at each other. Smiles grow on both of their faces.

“You already know what I’m going to ask.” He says to her.

“I know, but I wanna hear you say it.”

“Alright, when can I see you next?”

“Hmm…what about Tuesday night? We could go to a movie. Tickets are cheaper on Tuesdays so we can splurge on snacks.”

“I like the way you think. I’d love to go to a movie. You pick, and just tell me what time I need to meet you.”

“Sounds good.” She leans in to peck his lips. “Talk to you soon.” She gets out of the car and heads up to her apartment. Chrissy, the teenager watching Marvin, was sitting on her couch watching TV. “Hey, Chrissy. I already paid you on Venmo.”

“I saw! Thanks so much.” She stands up.

“Thanks for watching him all night.” Abby scoops up Marvin and cuddles him to her chest. “I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”

“Not at all, he was great. He was my little study buddy.”

“Perfect. Well, enjoy your Sunday. Tell your parents thanks too.”

“I will, have a good day.” Chrissy heads out and Abby sets Marvin back down.

“Alright, Mumma’s gonna take a shower and then she’ll take you for a nice, long walk, sound good?” Marvin yips excitedly at her. “S’what I thought.”

//

Harry was fucked. He was running late and couldn’t get to a phone because he was in the middle of a surgery. Of course the one time there’s a few delays and complications he actually has somewhere to be. He was supposed to meet Abby at 6:45PM, it was already 6:30, there was no way in hell he was going to make it. He did his best to stay focused so he could do right by his patient. By the time he was done it was 7:45PM. He tried to call Abby, but her phone went right to voicemail.”

“Shit.” He says to himself.

“Dr. Styles.” Marie says. “You should change, you’re still scrubbed up and you have blood on you. Go home and shower, she’ll understand.”

“I just wish she’d turn her phone on…”

“Maybe she went to the movie alone.” Marie shrugs. “She could be one of those good people who actually turns their phone off.”

“Right, yeah. I’m gonna freshen up here, and then I’m gonna try to catch her outside the theater.”

Harry does just that, using the hospital locker room to have a quick shower. He rushes to the movie theater and waits outside. The movie they were supposed to see should be wrapping up any moment, so he goes into the lobby to watch for her. Hopefully she was actually there.

Abby throws out her trash and walks towards the main lobby. She was just turning her phone back on when she saw Harry standing there with a very apologetic look on his face. She sighs and walks over to him.

“I’m so sorry.” He starts. “I tried calling as soon as I could, but your phone went right to voicemail.”

“I turned it off when the previews started.” She chews on her bottom lip. “What happened?”

“My last surgery of the day got delayed, and then there were some complications…everything’s fine now, but it wasn’t an easy extraction. I had to really take my time, I’m so sorry. I swear this won’t happen a lot.” He looks down at his shoes and then back to her. “Was it a good movie at least?”

“It was alright.” She sighs. “Would have been better if I had someone to make comments to.” She nudges his shoulder.

“How can I make it up to you? Are you hungry? We could-“

“I already ate, it’s okay. I know you didn’t do anything on purpose. It’s getting late, so I’m just going to head home.”

“I feel terrible.”

“Don’t.” She smiles. “Shit happens.”

“Let me at least take you home, I drove here.”

“Sure.” She takes his hand in hers as they walk out of the theater. “Are you hungry?”

“Starved, actually, but I can just eat when I get home.”

“Don’t be silly, I have leftovers. You can come up and eat if you want.”

“I’d like that.”

Once they’re up in her apartment, Harry plays with Marvin while Abby heats up her leftover stir fry and rice. She hands Harry the warm bowl and they both sit down at the small table she has in her kitchen.

“Is it hot enough?” She asks him.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” He eats a little and then looks at her. “I really do feel terrible that you waited and had to sit alone…”

“It’s really okay. It’s not my first time going to the movies by myself.” She shrugs. “I’m pretty independent.”

“I just don’t want you thinking this is something that’s going to happen a lot. It’s so rare for a surgery like this to not be timely.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It’s really sweet you still showed up at the theater like you did. We’re together now, that’s all that really matters.”

Harry finishes eating and cleans up his bowl. He stands with his hands in his pockets by the door and she stands with her arms crossed. Neither were sure what to do. It was really too late to hang out any longer since they both needed to work the next day.

“Are you free Friday night?” He asks her. “We could go to dinner if you like.”

“Sure, that sounds nice. Wanna say seven?”

“Works for me. I’ll pick you up then.” He caresses her cheek and kisses her. They both linger for a moment before letting go. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She sighs after he leaves. It sucked being at the movies alone, but it meant the world to her that he still showed up at the end. It really showed his character, and for that she was grateful. She was still trying to gauge what kind of guy Harry was, and she had finally come to the conclusion that he was a good one.

//

“Two months and still nothing?” Greg asks Harry one Sunday evening as he and Lenny came over to watch the hockey game.

“Yeah.” Harry sighs as he sips on his beer. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love kissing her and, and she’s let me touch her over her clothes, but…I don’t know, she’s not as desperate and grabby as I am. What if she’s just not as into me?”

“I don’t think she’d be seeing you still if she wasn’t into you.” Lenny says. “How old is she again?”

“Twenty-six, why?”

“Well, maybe she’s hoping for things to be a little more official before she goes all the way with you.”

“Define official.” Harry mutters.

“Maybe she wants to know if you’re her boyfriend.” Lenny states.

“God, do you really think she’s hung up on some stupid label? We’re dating, we’re together, I think that’s pretty clear.”

“Remember when I dated that younger girl? She was, like, twenty-three?” Greg says and the guys both nod. “Well, she wanted to know what the status was after a few months. Obviously it didn’t work out because of the age difference, but these things matter to the younger women. They wanna know what to refer to you. Boyfriend is a lot easier to say than having to say the guy I’m seeing.”

“So, you have to ask yourself, do you want to be Abby’s boyfriend?” Lenny asks him. “If you don’t see things working out long term with her you should break it off.”

“I definitely don’t want to break it off. I really like her, and I like spending time with her.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m going to her place on Thursday for dinner, maybe we can talk about it then.”

“Yeah? She cooking for you again?” Greg asks.

“Mhm.” Harry smiles. “She really likes cooking for me, I don’t know why. I don’t mind it, she always makes something delicious.”

“Do you ever cook for her?” Lenny asks.

“Sure.” Harry shrugs. “We take turns.”

“That’s good, those things should definitely go both ways.” Greg says. “I bet you she just wants to make sure you’re not going to up and leave the second she lets you hit it.”

“I don’t know why she’d even think I’d do something like that…”

“Maybe she’s been burned in the past.” Lenny shrugs. “Have you had the ex talk?”

“No.” Harry shakes his head. “It doesn’t seem like something we’ve needed to talk about…but maybe we do.”

//

Thursday night Harry goes over to Abby’s with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate chip cookies. He liked bringing dessert the times she made dinner for him.

“Hey.” She smiles and kisses him once he’s inside. She must’ve had a long day at work because she was still in her work clothes. Most times when Harry came over she had already changed into comfier clothes. “How was your day?”

“It was good, how about yours?” He hands her the wine and cookies and follows her into the kitchen.

“Long.” She sighs. “I had some heavier appointments today.” She blinks a few times. “I…I cried with a student today.” She looks at him, tearing up.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry, come here.” He opens his arms for her and she’s comforted by his embrace. He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Are you allowed to tell me what happened?”

“Yeah.” She sniffles and looks up at him. “This male student…he had a rough go of it in high school. A teacher…molested him, and it was this whole thing. He’s from a small town in Vermont so everyone knew. He came here to get away from it, you know? Make a fresh start? He’s started to see this girl that he really likes, and he’s petrified of her finding out, and he’s not sure if he should just tell her or if he should keep it to himself. But he’s afraid she might find out anyways somehow. I felt terrible. I mean, what kind of sick fuck uses their position of power over a kid like that, you know?”

“That’s…awful, beyond awful.” Harry frowns down at Abby.

“I just couldn’t keep it together, especially when he started crying, so I cried too. Then we both started laughing, and he was able to calm down and we talked about things more.” She steps back from Harry and wipes under eyes.

“I guess the upside is that you created such a welcoming environment that he felt safe enough to be so vulnerable with you.”

“Yeah.” She nods. “I suppose that’s a silver lining, thanks.” She smiles. “Anyways, we’re going to meet bi-weekly now just for little check ins.” She sighs and moves to stir the pot of pasta that’s on the stove. “I’m making pasta and meat sauce, hope that’s alright.”

“It’s great, Abby. Can I do anything?”

“No, everything’s just about done. Um, would you actually mind taking Marv out quickly for me? He just ate and I haven’t had a chance to take him out to do his business.”

“You got it.”

It wasn’t Harry’s first time taking Marvin out, so he really didn’t mind. He leashes him up and takes him down to the street. Marvin does his business, and Harry gets him back upstairs. By the time he comes back, Abby’s plated up dinner, and gotten the wine open and poured.

“Thank you.” She says to him, and leans down to pat Marvin’s head. “Ready to eat?”

“Mhm, thank you for cooking.”

“Oh, it was nothing.” She smiles. “I like when we get to have dinner together.”

“Me too, babe.” He takes a bite of food and moans. “This is amazing, Ab.”

“Thanks.” She blushes and takes a sip of her wine. “Harry, um, there’s something I…well…I’m just gonna come right out and say it.” She takes a deep breath as he looks at her. “Am I…am I your girlfriend?”

Harry’s concerned face softens into a smile.

“I’d like you to be.” He says to her. “I was actually going to bring this up tonight, guess you beat me to it.”

“Oh.” She says, a little surprised. “Well, good, okay.” She nods and takes a bite of food.

“I like you a lot, and I know it’s been a couple of months. I’m still having a great time with you.”

“Same here!” She assures him. “I just, you know, I don’t know what to tell my friends sometimes when they ask about you.”

“Well, now you can tell them about your boyfriend, yeah?” He smirks. “When do I get to meet these friends, hm? You’ve met all of mine.”

“That’s true.” She chews her bottom lip. “Well, I could arrange for a night out at a bar some weekend. We all love going out to dance and stuff…”

“Sounds like fun.”

“You’d be into something like that?”

“Sure, why not?”

“You just don’t exactly seem like the type of person who would enjoy going to a stuffy club with a ton of drunk people.”

“Hey, I know how to hang. Set it up and I’ll be there.”

“Great, I’ll text them.” She smiles, her body was buzzing with excitement. Harry stands up abruptly and comes over to her side of the table, cupping her jaw. He slots his lips over hers, sucking on her bottom lip and then letting her go before he sits back down. “Wh-what was that for?”

“Just wanted to give my girlfriend a kiss.” He shrugs, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Oh.” Her face had to be beat red at this point. They look at each other and smile. This time it’s Abby who decides to be bold. She gets up and sits on his lap side saddle. She grabs her phone and opens up SnapChat because it was better for taking selfies.

“What are you doing?”

“We hardly have any pictures together. Now that you’re my boyfriend that’s going to change. Smile.” She says to him, and he does as she says, taking a very cute picture.

“Send that to me?”

Abby presses her lips to his. Getting through dinner was going to take a little longer tonight.  

//

Harry could, in fact, not hang. It was midnight and he was fighting to stay awake. He wished Abby had planned their big night out with her friends for a Saturday not Friday. It was a long week, and Harry just wanted to go to bed. He thought her friends were interesting. There was Billy, Abby’s absolute best friend. Billy happens to be trans, which Harry didn’t care about at all because Billy’s life was none of his business. Then there was Amy and Gina, Abby’s roommates from undergrad. They were all getting along fine, but the club was loud, packed, and sticky. Abby was having a good time, though, so what could he do?

“Another drink, Harry? Next round’s on me.” Billy says to him.

“Oh, no thank you. Think I’m gonna cool it.”

“Cool it?” Amy scoffs. “The night just started. Ab, hold old did you say he was again?”

“Don’t tease him.” Abby hooks an arm around Harry’s waist. “He’s thirty-two, a doctor, and he had a long week.” She looks up at him. “You’ve last two hours, go home if you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow.” She puckers her lips and he kisses her.

“It was really nice meeting all of you. We’ll have to do it again sometime…maybe on a night I didn’t have two different surgeries.” He kisses Abby again. “Text me when you get home so I know you got back safe?”

“Will do, bye, babe!” Harry heads out, and Abby looks back at her friends. “He’s cute, right?”

“Very.” Gina says. “He seemed like he was having fun at the beginning.”

“He’s just tired.” Abby sighs. “We should have waited until tomorrow. He really is a lot of fun.”

“I’m sure he is.” Billy says with a smile. “So, you really haven’t slept with him yet?”

“No.” Abby shakes her head.

“What’s the hold up?” Amy asks.

“I just haven’t felt ready.” Abby shrugs. “He’s a really good kisser, though, so I know I’m close to getting there with him.”

“You haven’t even sucked his dick?” Gina asks.

“No, but I’ve felt it. We grind on each other a lot. But I always have us stop before it gets to be too much.”

“I’ve literally never known you to not want to fuck a guy you’ve been seeing.” Billy says.

“I know…I just…it all just feels like a dream come true still, and I’m afraid that once we do it something will go wrong and we’ll stop seeing each other. I have no idea why I feel like that, but I do.” Abby says.

“He’d be an idiot to let you go.” Amy says. “Do it when you’re ready, but I think I speak for the three of us when I say we approve of him.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.” The four share a group hug and go back out to the dancefloor to enjoy the rest of their night.

//

It was a rainy Saturday at the beginning of April. Harry told Abby to bring Marvin over to his place so they could get cozy for a lazy day of watching movies and being cozy. She happily accepted. The two of them really needed a day to relax. Abby was booked solid at work right now, and Harry was starting to get booked out with more and more wisdom teeth appointments. Harry liked when Abby would bring Marvin over. He had gotten a little dog bed for him and some toys. Harry even got him a little food and water bowl.

Abby was really falling for Harry. He made her feel safe, and he was beyond considerate. She also couldn’t believe how patient he was being. They were together three months, just entering the fourth, and they still hadn’t had sex yet. She knew he wanted it, of course, and she really wanted it too.

They were curled up on the couch together while Marvin was snoozing on his little dig bed. Neither had ever watched The Mindy Project before so they were binging it. Abby couldn’t believe what she was about to do, but she couldn’t help from blurting it out.

“Harry?” She looks up at him.

“Yeah?” He looks down at her.

“I…I love you.” His eyes widen as he looks at her, his mouth falling open. “Oh my god, it’s too soon, right? I…I…I…” Before she can ramble on anymore, he’s kissing her, hard.

“Christ, Abby.” He presses his forehead to hers. “I love you too.” He kisses her again.

“Really?”

“Of course I do. You couldn’t tell? I’ve got your picture framed on my night table, and I’ve got all this stuff here for Marvin, and I keep your favorite snacks in the pantry…”

She moves to straddle him, pushing his shoulders back into the couch. She slots her mouth over his, and he holds her close to him. She sucks on his bottom lip, making him groan.

“Harry, bring me to your bedroom, now.”

“Y-you wanna go to sleep?” He looks at her confused.

“No, I want you to fuck me.” She looks at him with dark eyes.

“Really?”

“Yes!”

He doesn’t question her again. Instead, he lifts her up and quickly carries her down the hall to his bedroom. He gets her on the bed, hovers over her, and starts by getting her shirt off. His eyes widen when he sees the lace bra she was wearing. He furrows his brows as he gets her leggings off. He glares at her when he sees that her panties match her bra.

“What is it?” She asks innocently.

“There’s this old saying that goes along the lines of if the girl’s wearing matching underwear, then she’s the one who decided to have sex.” Abby blinks at him. “Were you planning for this tonight?”

“I was hoping.” She sits up on her elbows. “I…I’ve been fucked over before, and I really wanted to make sure I knew how we felt about each other before we did this. I’m sorry that I made us wait so long.”

“Don’t be sorry, baby.” He caresses her cheek. “I’ll admit I was a little frustrated in the beginning, but…I’m sort of glad we waited. It’ll be more special now.”

“Exactly!” She beams at him. “Can…can we get back to it now?”

He chuckles and takes his shirt off and pants off. He hovers over her and kisses on her neck and chest. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra, and tugs it away. His lips wrap around one of her nipples, and he licks around it. He sucks on her, and it makes her moan. He licks over to her other breast, and sucks on her other nipple. She pushes his head closer to her chest and tugs at his hair. He kisses and nips his way down her soft tummy. She lifts her hips as he tugs her panties off. He opens her legs and sucks a bruise into her thigh. She gasps at that and groans. He licks a flat stripe up her slit and to her clit. He does this a few times, just to get a good taste of her.

He looks up at her as his tongue flicks back and forth on her clit. He presses a hand on her pelvis and pushes up so he can see her better. He sucks on her clit and she moans out. His fingers work around her folds, feeling her wetness, and then he slides his middle finger in. He gets his ring finger in as well, and starts to pump in and out of her. He moans into her as his hips rut against the bed. She grabs at his hair as his fingers start to rub against her front wall. Abby starts panting and breathing heavier.

“Fuck, Harry, please don’t stop!”

He groans into her as his answer, and keeps doing everything exactly the same to help get her there. Her hips move along with his face, and her body starts to feel warm all over. She cries out as she comes to her release. He retracts his fingers, and he sucks on her wet center before sitting up. She catches her breath and smiles at him. He smiles at her and gets his boxers off. She whimpers when she looks at his hard dick. She crawls towards him and wraps her hand around him. She kisses his tip and wraps her lips around him.

“God, I’ve been dreaming about this.” He groans as his head rolls back while she starts to bob up and down on him. She goes down enough to choke on him, and then she pulls off. “Do you want me to use a condom?”

“No, I’m on the pill. I wanna feel you.”

He nods and gets back onto the bed with her. She opens her legs back up for him, and he rubs the head of his cock along her folds and clit. Her hips press up towards him in anticipation. He slowly presses into her, and her mouth falls open.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking tight.” He grunts as he bottoms out.

“Move.” She tells him. “Move, Harry.” She whines, and he starts to rock in and out of her. She clutches at his biceps and digs her nails in. “Oh my god.” She moans.

“Feels good?”

“Feels amazing.” She bites her bottom lip. “Go harder.”

“Yeah, want me to fuck you hard?”

“Fuck, yeah, really give it to me.”

He gives her a wicked grin, and then pulls out of her. He flips her onto her stomach and slides back in. He grips the back of her neck, and his other hand rests at the base of her spine. He takes a deep breath, pulls out almost all the way, and then snaps his hips back into her. She gasps, and he does it again. He smacks her ass, and continues to fuck into her hard. The hand at the base of her spine slides around to her clit and he rubs it. It doesn’t take her long to lose it again. He pulls out and sits up against his headboard. Abby sinks down on him as he grips her hips. They move in sync together as she rides him. She licks into his mouth and they both moan. His hands grab all over her body, unsure of where he liked squeezing the most. He fondles her breasts for a bit before deciding to stick with her ass.

“You’re so fucking beautiful like this, Abby.” He says as he kisses on her neck. “I want you to come for me again.” He snakes a hand between them so he can rub her clit again.

“Fuck, yes, oh my god, Harry!” She grinds faster on him. “I want you to come inside me.”

“Shit, fuck.” He moans out and they come at the same time. “Fuck, Abby.” He breathes and kisses her, sucking on her bottom lip. Her fingers tangle back into his hair.

“Was it, um, worth the wait?”

“Oh my god, of course it was. I wanna fuck you over and over.” He smirks at her and she giggles.

“I think that can be arranged.” She pecks his lips. “Would you ever want to, um, tie me to the bed?”

“Oh, baby, if I didn’t love you before.”

[eretzyisrael]

Lama Al-Manar, 36, doesn't remember what she put into the small bag she was carrying when she stepped into a Red Crescent ambulance, other than medical documents. She doesn't remember the last words her husband, who was riding with her, said to her before they separated at the Erez crossing. She doesn't know whether he followed them with his gaze when she walked toward the crossing and passed from the Gaza Strip to Israel, where a Magen David Adom ambulance was waiting for her.

From the moment she left Shifa Hospital that afternoon, until she arrived at Sheba Medical Center at Tel Hashomer some five hours later, Lima's eyes never left the incubator that was holding her son, Abdullah, 2.5 months old, whose tiny body was receiving oxygen.

She also wouldn't have remembered what day it was if they hadn't explained how lucky she had been. It was Monday, May 10, 2021, the day on which Operation Guardian of the Walls against Hamas infrastructure in Gaza began. The ambulance that brought her and her son to Israel was the last allowed through Erez crossing before it was closed for 13 days.

Three children are waiting for her at home. Two years ago, she gave birth to a stillborn child, and when she became pregnant for the fifth time, she was eager for the new baby to bring joy back to the home. But Abdullah was born two months prematurely with a complicated heart defect and Lamaand her husband realized they would need to fight for his life.

"I was afraid. His condition wasn't good," Lama says. "He lost weight, and his breathing and other parameters slowed. I prayed to God to heal him. To fight for his little life. A doctor at Shifa Hospital recommended that we send him to Israel for treatment. My husband reached out to the Shevet Achim organization to help us get him there."

Thursday afternoon, the 11th day of the Gaza campaign. The radio reports a rocket alert in Ashkelon, and then a direct hit on a residential building. We arrive at the parking structure attached to the labor ward at Sheba Medical Center, which is next to the Edmond and Lily Safra Children's Hospital. The children's ICU was transferred here on the fifth day of the fighting for fear of rocket hits.

We go down one floor. After walking through the gray halls lined with oxygen tanks at the ready, we encounter a colorful sign decorated with a drawing of a sun and a kite: "Protected Children's ICU." Reality stays outside. In the parking structure, which was filled with cars the previous week, there are 40 small beds. Each one takes up two parking places, and holds a small baby who is hooked up to medical equipment. Nearby is a treatment station, a computer, and a lounge chair for adults.

The beds are separated by flowered curtains that were hung on the metal pipes that line the parking garage's ceiling. No one closes the curtains. There are also hanging screens that are attached to monitors that fill the space with dim beeping.

In the center of the improvised unit are a dialysis cart and another cart that holds equipment for chest drainage. Sometimes, a baby's cry can be heard. It is weak, and starts and stops quickly.

Over bed No. 26 a sign reads: "Abdullah Al-Manar. Date of birth: Feb. 26, 2021. Weight: 1.6 kg (3.52 pounds)." Lamasits on the chair and watches Shani, the nurse, take off Abdullah's cloth diaper, exposing a large incision that runs from his chest to his belly. Shani changes the dressing, rubs cream on it, puts his medicine into the IV bag attached to his small arm, and covers him gently.

In the next bed lies three-month-old Rana, who is recovering from her third open heart surgery, which she underwent two days earlier. On the left is Yazen, a month old, who had a catheterization.

Dr. Evyatar Hubara, 43, a senior doctor on the unit, moves from bed to bed. He slept three hours the night before due to the number of cases.

"The three children from Gaza suffer from complicated heart defects," Hubara explains. "They came to us in serious condition, among other reasons because it took time from when the problem was diagnosed in Gaza until their transfer to us could be coordinated, all the permits received, and that's without changing ambulances at Erez and the bumpy journey. Right now, all three are in an acute stage. We still haven't gotten to the rehabilitation state, which will begin here and continue in Gaza," he says.

Hubara stops by Abdullah's bed and looks at him warmly. "Abdullah was born prematurely and was incorrectly diagnosed in Gaza. The doctors … performed the wrong operation on him when he was two months old. A week after the operation, he began to decline, and a week after that he reached us. In the first few hours we needed to stabilize him and keep his blood pressure steady with medication.

"We started to look into the problem. We did an MRI and other tests. Before every stage, we explained to his mother what we were going to do. She trusted us from the beginning. After we stabilized him, we found that the true defect he was suffering from was an aortic valve stenosis. It turned out that in Gaza they had tried to close the ductus, but closed one of the main arteries by mistake.

"In the insane Israeli reality, we had to protect ourselves against rockets from Gaza along with the babies who come from here," he says.

"I remember one siren that caught me on the unit, before we moved to the parking structure. All the mothers, Jewish and Arab, just grabbed their babies – the ones that weren't hooked up to machines – and ran to a safe space. I shouted, 'We have time, 90 seconds, go slowly so you won't fall with the kids.' Everyone gathered around in the safe space. Staff members and patients, Jews and Arabs together. The shocking sight of the mothers who ran there with their babies doesn't leave me," Hubara recalls. Not all the mothers were able to take their babies to a safe space. Abdullah, Rana, and Yazen, as well as another 12 Israeli babies, are on respiratory equipment, and they were unprotected during the first rocket alerts. This is why the hospital administration decided to move the entire department from the sixth floor to the underground parking garage. Here, the sirens can't even be heard.

We go with Lama, Raida, and Samira into the staff room, located at the exit. The room has a big refrigerator full of popsicles donated to the children and the staff who care for them. Every few minutes, a parent or a staff member comes in and takes one.

About a year ago, when the COVID pandemic was still raging in Israel, a COVID unit opened in this same parking structure to ease the mass of patients that was overwhelming the hospitals. That event seems like ancient history, and the only thing that remains of it are the letters of thanks stuck to the door. It seems as if this is the last place in the country where people are careful to wear masks, and wear them properly.

The three Gaza women are embarrassed. They aren't used to being interviewed. All three are wearing abayas, long dresses that include head coverings, as well as hijabs and surgical masks. Since they arrived in Israel, they have been sleeping here, on the unit, in the recliner chairs next to their children's beds. They are also given meals. Once every few days, they allow themselves to go upstairs and shower. None of them speaks any language other than Arabic, with the exception of a few words of Hebrew or English. Moshe Ravid, 26, a nursing student from Jaffa and a volunteer with the Shevet Achim organization, translates.

Raida (Umm Ahmad), 48, is from Khan Younis. She is Rana's grandmother, a housewife and mother of six.

"My daughter-in-law, Rana's mother, came to Israel with her in February, two weeks after she was born," she says. "After two weeks, she was tired and not feeling well. Because she has a four-year-old at home, she called me and asked me to switch with her. She went back to Gaza, and since then, I've been here. Three months already. This is my first time in Israel."

Q: Were you afraid?

"No, why should I be afraid? My husband worked in Bat Yam for 20 years. Every day, he went from Gaza to Bat Yam, until the disengagement in 2005. After that, he found work in Gaza. He told me that there are good people in Israel, that everyone here is all right."

Abdullah's mother Lama, 36, is wearing a brown abaya accessorized with a shining silver star. Her smartphone has a pink cover. She works in a laboratory, and her husband is a producer for Palestinian television in Gaza. She has two other sons, 11 and six, at home, as well as a three-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

"My mother had cancer. She went to Israel to be treated, and recovered," Lama says. "She told me that everything is good here. When Abdullah's condition got worse, the doctor recommended that we come to Israel. My husband reached out to Shevet Achim. Now he and my mother are watching the three other kids at home."

Q: What do you tell your families about what is happening here?

Lama: "They're afraid for us, and we're afraid for them. When they call to hear how we are, I answer, 'Al Hamdullah,' so they won't be scared and worry, and when I call to ask how they are, they say the same thing. We talk about the boy, how he ate, how much he ate, how much he slept. "I tell them that the doctors here are good, that they treat us well, answer all our questions. I tell them that the food is excellent, that the women have nice clothes, about their hairstyles. I like the fashion in Israel, and the grilled chicken breast and salad they serve at the hospital."

Raida: "The medical staff thinks only about the children – whether their condition has improved, what they ate, how they slept. We sit next to their beds, don't know how they'll be from one moment to the next, whether they'll get better at all."

Q: Do they send you pictures of the strikes on Gaza?

"They send me pictures of the special Ramadan sweets," Raida answers, with a smile.

Samira, 62, is the grandmother of Yazen, who is only a month old. "I have nine grown children, and my son has four children other than Yazen. Their mother needs to take care of them, so they asked me to accompany the child. At home, when we talk about Israel, we only talk about the medical treatment we want to get here."

Moshe, the translator, tells them in Arabic not to be frightened, that they can speak freely. They all answer at once: "We aren't afraid, we're speaking honestly. Everyone wants peace. We want it to be all right."

Samira: "Inshallah, things will calm down. We aren't dealing with politics."

Q: What did you do when people in Gaza fired rockets toward this area?

Raida: "What everyone else did. The nurses took us to a safe place. The babies stayed on the unit, hooked up to respirators. I was worried about them, that they were alone, but everyone calmed us down, said that it would all be fine."

Lama: "We tried to talk to the other people in the safe area, without understanding one another. Everyone wants to know how the other's child is doing. He's sorry about my son, and I'm sorry about his."

Q: Did your families leave their homes because of the airstrikes?

Raida: "No. Everyone is in his own home."

Q: Are any of your family members involved in the fighting?

All three shake their heads, no. "Not everyone in Gaza enlists in the army," Raida says. "My husband worked in Israel. Half of Gaza used to work in Israel. You must have seen the workers who would come from Gaza."

Samira: "My father and my husband used to work in Israel."

Q: When are you going home?

Raida's eyes fill with tears. "Rana's chest is still open from the last surgery. I'm sitting with you and laughing, but my heart is crying. So I'm telling you that my every thought is for the baby. That's our situation."

Lama: "Today, Dr. Evytar said that Abdullah has an infection in his right lung, which was good. Until now he had one in his left lung. I hope it works out. I'll go back to Gaza when he gets better, but I don't know when."

Hospital Director Dr. Itai Pessach says that every year, the center treats about 500 children from Gaza and another 2,700 children from the Palestinian Authority. "They range in age from a week to 18. Some of the children arrive through the Shevet Achim organization, and others through our own coordinator."

"During the last military operation, our doctor colleagues in Gaza reached out to us about children in serious condition, and we fought to bring them to Israel during the operation. Unfortunately, we didn't succeed, and that's very sad. I'm happy we're getting back to normal," Pessach says.

According to Pessach, "we don't see any difference between a child who comes from Gaza, Nablus, or Tiberias. Our treatment looks at all the child's needs, including emotional needs and school work at the school that operates on the hospital grounds. A year ago, a nine-year-old boy with cancer arrived from Gaza who didn't know how to read and write. He returned to Gaza last month, after a year-long hospitalization, healthy and knowing how to read and write in Hebrew, Arabic, and even English."

Q: How did the patients respond to this during the Gaza fighting?

"A family from Gaza arrived two days before the operation started, and we diagnosed their son with a rare disease, one that only seven children in Israel have. By chance, two rooms away there was a Haredi family with a child who had been diagnosed with the same disease two months ago. While the rockets were falling, the Haredi mother insisted on meeting the mother from Gaza and teaching her everything she knew about the disease and how to treat it."

"There is a truly shared fate here. They feel that they're fighting against something bigger than rockets. To get better, a patient needs to feel secure, and that's what we're doing. A hospital is a home for all the patients.

"I'm happy to say that the external tensions didn't creep into the work. There was no tension between the staff and the patients. The good of the patient always comes before everything else. Even at administration meetings – everyone put aside their own political views and we managed to provide a quality medical response and protect the safety of the staff and patients," Pessach says.

The funding for the Gaza children's treatment comes mainly from donors – mostly American Christians, and some Israelis.

"Saving the life of the child is an entire world," says Jonathan Miles, founder of Shevet Achim. Miles arrive in Israel from the US in the 1990s, as a journalist, and started to volunteer with the group Christian Friends of Israel.

"We welcomed Russian immigrants to Israel. We wanted them to understand that the Jewish people have friends in the world. One day a mother from Ukraine whose child's life was in danger came to me. She had no money for medical treatment, and she begged me to help. I started raising money to help him. Wizo helped a lot, as did other people, both Jews and Christians.

"After that, I heard about sick babies in Gaza, and in 1994 I founded the organization. We bring children from Muslim states to Israel for treatment."

Amar Shami, 32, who coordinates the transfer of children from Gaza to Israel for Shevet Achim, lives in Jerusalem.

"The families who go back to Gaza tell each other about the treatment in Israel," he says. "One mother tells another. When the child has a problem, they reach out to me. Sometimes the doctors reach out directly." Q: What goes through your mind while you're busy providing treatment and rockets are flying outside?

"Inside the hospital, we detach. We only want to help them. When you go out you realize that reality is different. We hope that when the families from Gaza go home, they will sort of be our emissaries, say good things about Israel."

The night that the ceasefire between Israel and Hamas took effect, Rana's heart stopped beating, despite the doctors' best efforts. Her grandmother, Raida, left the hospital weeping. She was driven to a Shevet Achim apartment in Jaffa. When Erez crossing opened, she returned to Gaza with Rana's coffin.

[anxiously-going]

Leonard is a Starfleet doctor, fresh from the Academy, working at a base in Atlanta when the news about Tarsus breaks. He still hasn’t fully processed the news before he gets word that he’s to be one of the doctors to go on the rescue mission at Pike’s recommendation. And it’s a good thing Pike lives across the country otherwise Len might have actually kicked in Pike’s door to demand just what Pike was thinking recommending him for something like this. He has to settle for ranting and pacing in front of a holo screen instead.

Pike waits patiently for Len to rant himself out before reminding the young doctor that he was the top of his class in all of his psych studies, and everyone he worked under during his residency gave glowing reports about his ability to work with trauma patients. There is no doubt in Pike’s mind that Len is the best doctor for this job. For these patients.

Leonard is on a ship out the next day.

He lands on Tarsus IV fully expecting to be handed a pile of files and cases of patients who had been deemed “worthy” by the former governor.

Instead he gets one.

“No one else can work with him.” He’s told when he asks about it.

So he goes to meet his one and only patient.

He goes ballistic when he finds an emaciated teen strapped down to a hospital bed in a makeshift holding cell. Demanding to know who’s idea it was to use a five point restraint on medically delicate and severely traumatized patient, and when the doctor steps forward Leonard rips them a new one before they can get two words in. (It wasn’t until much later that Len found out that this person was the CMO for the mission and could have feasible had him court martialed.)

Len gets into the room and everyone outside swears it’s nothing short of a miracle that he got the kid out of the restraints without incident.

All Len did was talk to the kid about what he was doing and treat him like he was a person. (He may have also offered to help him press charges against the [REDACTED] that put him in restraints.

Through conversation they find out that they both know Pike and Len does what he can to make sure the kid gets to call him as soon as he can.

The kid’s name is JT, as it turns out. His file says James, but Len wanted to know what the kid- what JT preferred to be called.

It’s not all smooth sailing. JT is still deeply traumatized (Len begins to suspect by more than just recent events) and deeply hurting. But he tolerates Len better than anyone else so Len takes that for a win and does his best by the kid. Taking careful note of his triggers and how to avoid them, snapping at anyone that gets to close without announcing their intentions first, by the end of it all Len has gained something of a shadow and JT a guard dog.

Pike meets them back on earth and is utterly stunned when this kid he’s met maybe half a dozen times, maybe, barrels into him, clinging to him tightly. But he just sighs and wraps his arms around the kid, telling him he’s okay now. He’s safe.

Pike and Len wait and contact JT’s family multiple times, but by the end of the week it doesn’t seem like anyone’s coming. An admiral says something about foster care and JT looks sick when Len jumps in.

“I’ll take him.” There’s no hesitation in his voice. “He can stay with me. I’ll take him.”

Long story short Len gets full custody with minimal fighting from Frank and soon Len and JT are back in Atlanta.

Jocelyn is not at all happy about this “overnight parenthood” business and up and leaves before Len even lands in Georgia. (Eventually she turns up to grab the last of her things and rubs a few snide comments about meeting someone else while he was off planet and get him to sign the official divorce papers.)

And just like that Len is a single dad to a teenaged son.

They both try so hard for each other, but Jim (he starts going by Jim back on Earth as a way of trying to adjust) is still deeply traumatized and scared to share about Tarsus and his life before that and Len…

The more he tries to help Jim the more he realizes his relationship with Jocelyn had been…unhealthy. (It was abuse and if Jim has to call what his uncle did abuse then Len has to call what he went through abuse.)

Pike keeps in touch and when he hears about the struggles Jim is having in school he cuts him a deal. If he can pass the entrance exam to Starfleet Academy he’ll get Jim into classes the next semester.

Len is terrified. Because Jim’s a freaking genius, of course he’s gonna get in! What was Pike thinking?!

Pike was thinking Jim needed something to strive for and now he’s got it.

The problem is that, despite having a good home and a safe place to grow the last few years, Jim still has a lot he’s carrying around. No one knows he’s one of the Nine, no one knows about his uncle, but they all still know who is father was. He still feels like he has a lot to prove.

So on top of getting into the Academy at seventeen, Jim is bound and determined to be out in three years.

He’s going to become the youngest captain Starfleet has ever seen.

Leonard is terrified for him, but he supports him nonetheless. There is no doubt in his mind that Jim is capable, he’s smart, and resourceful, and everything to look for in a good captain. But Jim is his kid. And He supports him, but that doesn’t keep him from worrying.

So about the time Jim is looking to graduate, Len contacts Pike about placement aboard the Enterprise. Pike has already been working on making space for Jim on his ship and it’s easy to make sure Len gets a spot too. (He might be a little smug when he tells Len “You’re my new CMO” because Len is still not a fan of flying.)

But before Jim can finish out his finally year Vulcan is attacked.

Len is set to go up with Pike and Jim is going to be left on Earth.

And he panics.

Jim breaks into one of the med areas and starts digging around for that mud flea vaccine he’s heard Len ranting about having significant side effects and wishing there was a way to get around them.

Then he gives himself a dose of that.

Jim stumbles, literally, into Len as he’s getting ready to board the shuttle and there’s no way he can leave the kid in this condition, but this is a full on all hands on deck emergency, so he does the only thing he can do and he drags the kid aboard with him.

[myarmsaretoolong]

@whumptober2020​​​​ Prompt #30: “Now Where Did That Come From” - Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

Word Count: 1019

Warnings: Blood (Minor) | Hospital Scenes

Synopsis: Tony thinks they just might have finished their mission unharmed, Peter has another idea

Read Under the Cut | Read on AO3

“Did you see that, Mister Stark?” Peter and Tony flew - and swung - through the streets of New York after yet another successful mission. Tony found himself unable to hide a smile at the excitement Peter still found in catching a bad guy. “He walked straight into my web-grenade and then, boom!” Mid swing, Peter turned to face Tony and mined an explosion. “Didn’t even see it coming.”

Tony grinned, thankful it was hidden behind the suit. “You did a great job, kid. Training’s really paying off.”

“And then when I taser-webbed his accomplice when he was down! Did you see that part?”

“Yup. Surprisingly I saw it all. Say, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Tony turned a corner, Peter following not far behind.

“Yeah?”

Tony took a deep breath, part of him couldn’t believe he was about to ask a kid this. But then again, Peter wasn’t most kids, and he was more than ready. “How about we step up the training a little? Bring in some of the others on the team, new styles of combat, that kind of thing. ‘Cause since the best part of the team decided a life on the run was better than a little bureaucracy, we’ve been a little lacking on manpower.” He waited a moment for the kid to reply, but he remained suspiciously silent. Probably just in shock.

“Not saying that you’re a shoo-in to become an Avenger, there are a lot of barriers before that. Your slightly scary Aunt, for one. But it’s something we can figure out.” Tony paused again. Still, Peter didn’t reply. You could say that Tony’s dad-sense started tingling. “If that’s something you want, of course. Kid? You wanna say something? I thought you’d be excited.”

Tony turned mid-air to look back at Peter, only to find he wasn’t there. His brow furrowed in worry. “Pete? Friday, where is he?”

“Over here, Boss.” Friday indicated a small figure sprawled out on a rooftop a couple of blocks back. Tony’s heart fell out of his chest as he raced back to Peter’s side.

He lay on his front, one arm flopped over his head and the other awkwardly tucked under his body. Clearly, he’d collapsed, thankfully he had the good sense to find a rooftop, first, rather than fall to the pavement below.

“Kid, come on.” Tony rolled Peter into the recovery position, bile rose in his throat when the suit’s gauntlets came away bloody. “Fri, run a full scan.”

“Already done, Boss. It appears Mister Parker has a penetrating wound to his abdomen. I recommend getting him immediate medical attention.”

“Right.” Tony scooped Peter into his arms and took off in the direction of the Avengers Facility. “Alert Doctor Cho, we’re coming in hot.”

“On it.”

Tony looked down at the limp, fragile body of a person he’d come to love cradled in his arms. “Hold on, Pete. Hold on.”

* * * 

Tony and May stood from their chairs outside the medical bay as Doctor Cho stepped out. They’d only been waiting for about an hour, but it felt like years.

May stepped forward, “Please tell me he’s okay?”

Doctor Cho offered a polite smile. “He will be.” May’s shoulders sagged the moment the words left her mouth, for a moment, Tony thought her legs were going to give way too. “The stab wound narrowly missed his descending aorta but punctured both his liver and stomach. We had to perform surgery to fix the damage, and thankfully managed to avoid septic shock. All in all, I’d say he’s very lucky.”

Lucky was certainly not one of the words Tony was thinking, but he couldn’t find the space to care as relief filled every inch on his body. 

“He’s still under from the surgery,” Doctor Cho continued. “Though it should wear off very soon. He’s also going to need a few days of bed rest to recover fully, even with his metabolism.”

May chuckled, “That’s not going to go over well. Peter had the flu once as a child and still got dressed for school despite hardly being able to walk without throwing up.”

“That sounds like the kid,” Tony muttered. Suddenly, he was starting to rethink his previous offer of Peter joining the team, at least until Peter learned when to tap out. He turned to Doctor Cho. “Can we go in?”

“Yes, of course. He should have someone there when he wakes up.” Doctor Cho stepped aside and allowed Tony and May to pass. 

The room was empty aside from Peter laying in a hospital bed, somehow he looked even smaller when surrounded by monitors and medical equipment. He lay flat on his back with a blanket pulled up to his chest, arms lying at his side with an IV in the back of his hand. Tony tried to tune out everything else and just focus on the gentle rise and fall of Peter’s chest. Focus on the fact he was alive.

May walked to his side and half-sat half-fell into an armchair that Cho must have set up. She slipped a hand into Peter’s and brushed his hair back from his face. “Oh, Peter,” she whispered. “How’d you get yourself in this mess, huh?” She didn’t say it harshly, and of course Tony had given her the full story when she arrived at the compound. Tony had a feeling she was talking more about Spider-Man than this particular incident.

Tony watched May with Peter feeling like an intruder, he half considered slipped silently out of the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes from the kid. May looked over, her eyebrows knitted together.

“What are you doing, come over here and sit down.” She gestured for him to join her. He fell into the chair on the opposite side, his fingers subconsciously twisting themselves through Peter’s hair. May smiled, eyes shiny with tears. “He’s going to need his family here when he wakes up.”

Tony had to bite his lip to hold his own tears at bay. His eyes fell on Peter’s, wishing them open. “Yes. Yes, he will.”

[drangues]

Yeah I’m Not A Fan of them, 0/10 would not recommend. BUT YEAH, Oda and Ango are Shocked (TM), but they eventually get the rambling at least, because Atsushi is adorable. And while they might tease him about him being a Menace and “how did you get a guy like him, the hell,” I think they’d genuinely be happy for him, a bit like teasing big brothers. Dazai gets them back via gratuitous teasing about how they’re clearly crushing on each other! (Nyanon, 1/5)

And “should I just become a priest so you two can get ~married~ already?” I love these three. And yeah that sounds about right!!! It’s a really cool game, the concept is really cool and the graphics are amazing??? Very cool visuals, too, the monsters are fucking ENORMOUS. Anyways that all seems pretty accurate? Dazai would definitely be able to make the monsters piss each other off (IE- Get the Teacher to attack the Bullies, or visa versa), while Yosano... Is Yosano. (Nyanon, 2/5)

Her badassery knows no bounds. And I could see Kenji befriending a few! Not all of them, though, if only because some would Piss Him Off (like the Janitor or the Twin Chefs). Atsushi... Has awful luck, to be fair, even if he did befriend a monster they’d probably die horribly- But I could see him and Kyouka helping each other! Like Six and Mono in the second game, though not action for action, obviously. (Nyanon, 3/5)

Either way Atsushi and Dazai are both pretty damn resourceful, which is really what a lot of the puzzles boil down to- Though Dazai would definitely complain if they had to swim through swamp water, haha. Onto the next Concept, though: There are no abilities! The ADA is still A Thing, as is the PM (though maybe as the night shift of the ADA? Because I like having them on the same side, haha), and everyone still works there, but abilities don’t exist. (Nyanon, 4/5)

Instead it’s just them all doing Detective Stuff and exposing corrupt organizations like the Guild, and also launching an investigation into Atsushi’s orphanage because fuck it, it’s an AU and I can have my self indulgence if I so please. (Nyanon, 5/5)

ive seen some quick clips from the game so i can tell that its amazing graphic/concept wise!! atsushi and kyouka are the pair that means well, but it still somehow ends in a disaster and i can imagine atsushi yelling at him to stop complaining about having to swim when he tries drowning himself on the daily

I LIKE THAT AU A LOT. ranpo and dazai would be seen as the sherlock holmes of the 21st century, yosano would be an AMAZING doctor who not only focuses on prescribing drugs but also diet, exercise and other types of stuff you can combine with your treatment (she thinks the medical field is corrupted and just focuses on treatment and not prevention/long lasting durability especially with chronic illnesses) shes also super super knowledgeable and has probably consumed so many books/taken so many classes and can tell after a few checkups immediately whats wrong

chuuya maybe was part of a corrupted organisation (maybe a cult?? it could like, be a mirror to how his ability makes him go corrupt) and then snapped out of it and became a detective. akutagawa couldve just been a homeless orphan with an inspiring story of how he managed to “get his life straight” and become succesful (aka get a home and a job) and atsushi is,,well,,,,Atsushi

(for kyouka and kenji to join. maybe kyouka would join because she was an assassin like in the original because her parents were killed for not paying off a debt so now she has to do it by killing, and since she now after being saved knows a lot she is in the ADA for info like “yeah the [corrupted organisation] had a meeting spot around there” “no that doesnt seem like [dumb villain name]’s killing, it couldnt be” and shit like that)

(while for kenji hes just there because hes very good at negotiating?? like, good cop bad cop type of style, maybe hes the type to be really good at making people confess and open up to him even if theyre the ones guilty of the crime. i imagine the way they discovered him was when fukuzawa visited the country side for some investigation and kenji was somehow roped into it and when fukuzawa left him alone with the suspects for a MINUTE kenji just “oh yeah he was the one who did it he just told me (♡°▽°♡)” and fukuzawas like say W H A T)

[celticfeather]

Chpt 1 Here

Chapter 7: Yatagarasu

-Uchiha Itachi-

Itachi dragged his thumb through the blood and smeared it to a pattern on the dirt. Smoke overtook the scent of blood, and he saw soft light gently reflect on scaled black claws. Itachi did not know if he could trust his partner to help him, but the alternative was death.

"Bring me Kisame."

The four-spiked eye of a martyr blinked animally, and the toothy choanal slit inside its beak separated the fading light as his messenger cawed its obedience. Air and dust from the downstroke puffed against his face, and Itachi was terrifyingly, relievingly, alone.

Itachi focused on breathing. In and out, like the waves on the sand of the mangrove shore. He wanted to cough, but some still-reptile part of his brain advised him that was unwise. The vibrant world of the sharingan had faded in the sad colors and weak detail of an ordinary human eye, and then to something less than that. Itachi did not know if he closed his eyes, he did not know how blind he was, some things he saw from multiple angles at once... He drew gentle swirls with his fingers in the mud. Tiny Vs like rising crows, no, they were gills, three tight chevrons next to esurient silver eyes. Why was there mud beneath him? The summer was hot and dry.

He could see a dead weasel on the ground next to him. A convocation of crows gathered in an impatient funeral. With plunging swordlike beaks they tore out the weasel's tongue. They raised its tiny black eyes, tender as berries, and the nerves slithered down their throats. A crow hopped over the corpse's ribs, it had three legs. They tore open Itachi's chest and bore into his heart and all was hot and red, and then, nothing.

He heard a hiss. Samehada, no, heal him damn you!

He felt wind on his face, and his head swung dizzily, though he didn't remember telling his legs to move. The being who smelled of ocean's salt took him somewhere; its humid scent was unfamiliar to him.

Two strange tall birds looked at him. One was orange with violet eyes and the other was violet with orange eyes.

"He needs a healer," the breath of salt sailed to the violet bird.

"I'm a sensory ninja. Not a medic. But there's a doctor in a village nearby."

The world shifted as the ocean bowed. "I'm sorry for assuming."

Shivering steel chilled Itachi's wet skin. A bee stung him on the arm. Someone gave him a glass of orange juice with a straw. It was sweet, tangy and delicious, bright as an orange blossom on a mud puddle. His attention drew to this glass of juice, and his surroundings sharpened. He became aware of a stranger in a white coat in the background.

"The IV will ease the desanguination. However, proceeding further has drawbacks..."

"Like what?" the ocean voice said.

Itachi was out of orange juice. He tried to get the doctor's attention, but he was busy. A blue hand gave him another juice. What a kind hand.

"Chakra-healing him will cause permanent scar tissue damage in his chest cavity. If we go through with this, he could have endurance problems for the rest of his life."

"And if you do nothing?"

"The internal bleeding will rot his organs, and in two days, sepsis will kill him."

"Please do all you can."

The doctor placed his cold hands on Itachi's bare chest. He felt he should have shivered, or flinched, but his body would no longer respond to its nervous impulses. A pulsing like ripples on a puddle spread across his body. It warmed his limbs like alcohol but dispelled the delirium like icewater.

Itachi coughed the blood clot that previously must have held his lungs together. The doctor grimaced.

"Excuse me," Itachi apologized through bloody teeth, looking up at an unfamiliar doctor from the red soaked towel.

The doctor's eyes traced to the medical-waste bin adjacent the chair, and Itachi deposited the towel there.

"How do you feel?" the doctor asked.

Itachi did not feel like answering. He looked instead at the two other menacing individuals in the room with him.

"You are, as usual, praised for your discretion," Konan, the violet crane, told the doctor in what was both thanks and a threat. She drew a black velvet pouch from her robe and paid him in gold coins. It seemed Konan at least was unconstrained by Kakuzu's budget. The pleased doctor accepted the gold without concern.

Itachi examined the treatment room. The equipment was modern, but it was on the ground floor of an ordinary building, with mud walls, and a glassless sunny window. Konan and Kisame stood backlit. He had thought he'd seen Pain, but their leader had not accompanied them to the doctor if he had been there at all. Itachi was not sure what he had imagined of the last hours and what was real. In as subtle a way as he could, he pressed his fingertips over his own eyelids, his tongue against his palette, to make sure they were real. That no crows had picked them out.

He looked at Kisame, his silver eyes were like cautious mirrors. In front of this doctor and Konan, Kisame's expression maintained a perfect mask of normality. Itachi was tempted to probe his thoughts, cast aside the flimsy tin shields guarding the man's mind and dive beneath. He could do it, but he didn't.

The three Akatsuki exited the building. Konan, tall for a woman at his height, walked on his right side with Kisame on his left. Her amber eyes slid to Itachi with aloof concern. "Who did this?"

"Anbu got a hit in while we slept. We took care of them," Kisame answered for him.

"It happens. Have someone professional clean your robes," she advised. She gave them each a gold coin. Little did she know they were already loaded with stolen cash. But they took the gold anyway.

She flared her angular paper wings, and Konan left the fire and water pair to their devices.

"Do we stink?" Itachi asked, turning the gold coin.

"Yes. Well, you do. I can't smell me."

The chakra healing left Itachi feeling disquietingly whole, minus a tightness in his chest. It had been since his Leaf Village days that he received effective treatment. The closest the Akatsuki pack of killers had to a field medic was Kakuzu, and well… fortunately Itachi had never needed his reattachment specialty. Or Sasori, who after a battle might aloofly recommend a certain plant. 'A purple mountain bloom with heart shaped leaves, but chew only its roots, for the pistil metabolizes a stealthy toxin when combined with hydrochloric acid…'

A stealthy toxin.

Kisame gave him a wary, perhaps expectant, side eye as the two men walked silently abreast.

"A question for you, Kisame."

"Yes?"

"You do understand, entrapping me would not be wise for your health," Itachi warned, eyes straight forward.

"You think I set you up."

"I entertain the possibility. You repeatedly asked me about the Infinite Tsukuyomi, interrogated me on the whisper of disagreement, and Zetsu reported it to Madara."

A daring smile. Kisame halted on the path. "Why don't you just look in my head and find out?"

Itachi used no genjutsu on Kisame. When he didn't, Kisame spoke.

"When you disappeared from that orchard, I imagined you and our leader had some Uchiha secrets to discuss. Or you pissed him off. That raven of yours found me, and with one look at your sorry carcass, I knew that you definitely pissed him off.

"But, if Madara wanted you dead, I would not have been able to help you."

Kisame's statement did not exactly exonerate him of double play. Obviously Madara had still had a use for Itachi in letting him live, and therefore Kisame would be instructed to treat him. But it did explain Kisame's train of thought. He believed Kisame was innocent of conducting any purposeful snare against him, for now. Perhaps in asking his questions, the wandering Kisame had just been curious on his worldview. And Itachi realized, he wanted to investigate his partner's principles as well.

"What happened after Madara took you?" Kisame asked.

"Madara used his ability to teleport me somewhere, through some other dimension. We exchanged words, then blows. When he let me live, I vowed my hatred."

"Hopefully he'll credit your rudeness to you being delirious from pain," Kisame continued. "Otherwise, you've got a problem on your hands."

Somehow Kisame's chastation relieved him.

"I know," Itachi agreed. "You need not worry about me. I'll hunt this beast of his — I would prefer not to die."

A short, sure laugh from Kisame.

Itachi's contract with Madara stood: the Leaf would be safe from him as long as he fell in the Akatsuki line. And Itachi would do whatever it took to serve the Will of Fire. Itachi was, for better or for worse, a master of small evils.

"In my hallucinations, I saw the three-legged crow, Yatagarasu. In the myth of my country, he heralds the emergence of gods," Itachi said.

"You've got some weird religion in the Leaf," Kisame dismissed.

"What is the folk religion in the Mist?" Itachi asked.

"Our elders say the world was born on the back of a giant turtle. And when that turtle dies, the world will sink back into the sea."

"So you learn how to swim," Itachi noted.

"I'm not saying I believe in giant turtle gods."

"What does Hoshigaki Kisame believe in then?"

A grunt, apparently.

Kisame was a being on the hunt, the hunt for some sort of belief system. He sought belonging in serving something greater than himself. So he attached himself to Akatsuki and the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Without it Kisame had no purpose and no self.

No, that last part was false.

"Thank you for helping me," Itachi said. "I apologize for accusing you of betraying me."

Kisame looked away from him and said, "Not a problem."

Itachi viewed the sky with his Sharingan. He searched for the ultraviolet aurora of the earth's magnetic field. Perhaps in a peaceful century, the Uchiha clan would reveal to scientists that this was the mystery of how birds migrated: they could see these magnetic, purplish, static in the sky that indicated latitude and north. But Itachi's ancestors taught him early to never reveal exactly how the Sharingan worked to outsiders. The magnetic field hazed in a weak aurora far to the northern horizon, indicating that they were further south than previously.

"Where exactly are we?" Itachi asked.

"Can you smell it? Land of Tea," Kisame answered.

An idea germinated in Itachi. It would be on the way. He thought of banished Susanoo, who wandering earth after his crimes, found his greatest weapon, his Totsuka Blade, in the belly of a giant serpent he had slain.

"I would like to speak with someone here."

"Never took you for one good at making friends."

"I'm not."

"Anything I should know about them?"

"If he licks you… bite him."

Kisame, expression amused, gestured for Itachi to lead the way.

In a few hours, the two dangerous men had arrived in an equally dangerous place.

With his Sharingan, Itachi noticed a small camouflaged snake emerge from a crack, flick its tongue, and recede. He was unsure if his target would answer his summons but it was worth trying. No, he would be answered. This man's greatest sin was curiosity. He would not be able to resist wondering why Uchiha Itachi was on his doorstep, even if it killed him.

The stonework hidden under the jungle vines began to tremble. Itachi had not seen this individual since their last clash in the Akatsuki. Itachi had paralyzed him with a glance and struck his body full of rods. He had not even needed the Tsukuyomi.

A slender white-skinned demon stepped from the revealed earthen cave. His venom-smooth androgynous voice coursed unruffled to the two ninja.

"The young crow approaches the snake at its den. Not how I expected your revenge, Itachi."

"If I wanted you dead, I would have done it already," Itachi commanded.

Orochimaru, somewhat more diplomatic than Itachi, narrowed his eyes. An uneasy wind blew between the two Leaf Rogues as Orochimaru waited for more information. Itachi was too merciless to speak twice.

"Orochimaru of the Sanin," Kisame broke the silence, stretching his lips over his teeth and maintaining eye contact in something between a greeting and a threat. "Good to meet you at last."

"And who are you?" the Sanin returned.

"Hoshigaki Kisame, formerly of the Hidden Mist. A pleasure."

"Mhm," Orochimaru hummed smug as a song, and his vertical pupils traced back to his main interest. The question was an insult: the most knowledgeable being in the five nations surely already knew who Hoshigaki Kisame was.

"I require information," Itachi said. He had reserved fatal judgement on Orochimaru at their last encounter in hopes that this Sanin's talents could be subverted. And one way or another, Itachi would collect his debts.

"Concerning?"

"Forbidden jutsu."

A sly, approving, perhaps flirtatious noise. "You know who to ask."

Orochimaru headed into his dark den, exposing his back in a gesture Itachi found coquette and arrogant. Orochimaru turned his head for Itachi to follow, and paced forward into the darkness. Kisame made eye contact with Itachi, sensing the matter was far more personal than it seemed. Perhaps Kisame's pause confirmed that he was welcome.

"Come," Itachi said. They needed to get away from where Zetsu could see them. And, he could use an ally's eyes in a house of the enemy. Itachi was not arrogant enough to think he was above being outsmarted by an Orochimaru with years to ruminate against him.

Like down the esophagus of a snake, the two rogues walked an earthen corridor after Orochimaru. Flaming sconces gleamed green on modern scientific equipment, and animal specimens lined the walls in glass jars. The jars contained mostly reptiles, but Kisame looked at a shark pup and a crow, and back at Itachi.

In the belly of his lair, Orochimaru halted before a green flaming hearth in a great stone hall. Library halls of tomes and scrolls stretched behind him. He faced Itachi with the flames at his back.

"How truly desperate you must be to come to me for wisdom, Itachi. However… my knowledge has a price."

Itachi did not come to trade.

"I've come to reap your debt. Your cooperation is wholly optional." Itachi's Sharingan spinned Mangekyou.

The fire at the hearth extinguished and it was completely, disorientingly black. Itachi and Kisame were blind. Itachi could not use his genjutsu without light. But he knew snakes could sense heat signatures as precisely as an eye could light. He felt Kisame tense next to him, and his arm reach for Samehada.

Stay calm, Itachi thought at Kisame. He would feel it in his body.

"There's no need for that," Orochimaru deescalated from the darkness. Apparently he had changed his mind on the payment.

"Good," Itachi maintained curtly. "We will continue this discussion in the light."

The green fire returned. Samehada slid back into its hilt. Itachi's eyes retracted to their normal red.

"So," Orochimaru said.

"Tell me all you know about the Second Hokage's instant transportation technique."

An amused purr. "Teleportation. My, my, who has got you on the run, Itachi?"

"We've got places to be," Kisame maintained. The Mist ninja was right.

Itachi cared little about being on time for their next mission in the Land of Rivers. But he had to conceal the exact target of his question from both Kisame and Orochimaru. Madara had no doubt used something related to the Second Hokage's technique for his dimension-hopping. And until Itachi had a way to bind Madara to this plane, Itachi knew he would lose their next fight.

"As much as I respect the Second, it was the young Fourth who was the true master of space-time techniques," Orochimaru said, stepping towards his library.

"I understand. The Flying Thunder-God technique gained the Yellow Flash a run-on-sight order from the enemy alliance, and created the illusion that he was in multiple places at once."

"You are not completely uneducated," Orochimaru pulled a scroll from the wall.

"I would also like to know how to disable it."

Orochimaru paused. "You mean, how an enemy could theoretically stop the Fourth from transporting himself."

"Yes."

"There is some research into this."

"By who?"

Orochimaru pulled a second scroll. "Minato himself. However, Minato's research went incomplete. It involved a sealing jutsu currently unreplicatable."

Orochimaru opened the scroll to Itachi. On it was written a simple character in a brownish ink.

"Human blood," Itachi noted. Aged.

"Minato's blood, specifically. Unfortunately, as you know, Namikaze Minato has been a corpse for thirteen years."

"There must be another way," Itachi said.

Orochimaru closed the scroll. "You could ask him."

"Make no jokes, or worse, threats, Orochimaru," Itachi warned.

Orochimaru dipped his sly head without submission. "I apologize."

Itachi examined Minato's blood scroll. "Are these two all you have on the transportation subject?"

"All that would be of succinct use to you."

Itachi turned the scroll in his hand. He would keep them both for study. Orochimaru was too wise to comment or object.

"We'll be taking our leave now." Itachi said.

"A moment."

Orochimaru presented Itachi with a snake's egg. It was rubbery and pill shaped, rather than hard and tear-drop shaped like a bird's.

"If you need to come here again, do be polite and use this."

Fair chance Itachi would awake to a snake hatchling poisoning him in his sleep, or find himself strapped on the demon's dissection table when activating it. But Itachi accepted the egg anyway. Same as the original Orochimaru, it could be researched, repurposed, or destroyed.

Itachi walked out of Orochimaru's lair, the two scrolls under his arm, purposefully slow and dominant. Then he and Kisame ran briefly in the daylight trees, not wanting to dwell in Orochimaru's territory, and slowed again to a walk when they thought themselves far enough from any possible backstabbing. Kisame extended the first of the two scrolls before him.

"'Mark the jutsu formula on the target...' how are we supposed to use this? We can't teleport ourselves to this country if we've never been there before."

"Indeed we cannot," Itachi said.

"Well!" Kisame closed the scroll with unusual enthusiasm. "Too bad your transportation idea didn't work. I suppose we'll have to travel to the Land of Rivers my way."

As he spoke, Kisame looked through the jungle trees at the emerging ocean.

Your way? Itachi battled a sinking premonition. "Does it involve giant sharks?"

"No."

Good.

"Just one question for you, Itachi."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever taken over a ship before?"

Author's note:

Aaand next up is chapter 8, the KisaIta zany sea adventure!

Many thanks to beta SilverLion for her help reviewing this chapter!

Thank you readers for being patient with this chapter. I had an especially difficult time navigating current world events and I had to leave my home. But it's important to weaponize your creativity when you're stuck in the unknown. Please share this story with your friends if you like it, and let me know what you think :D

Steadfast,

Kelto

[babywarg]

Drpepperony Prompt: Pepper gets sick/injured and Tony calls the hospital demanding they send their absolute best doctor. Leaves Pepper to answer to phone and walks back in on the most handsome man ever taking care of Pepper.

hello! took quite a few liberties with your prompt here (again 😅), but i still hope you like it 💖

set shortly after Iron Man 2 and before the first Avengers movie.

[10/03/2019: NOT ACCEPTING NEW PROMPTS AT THE MOMENT. Thank you for understanding 💕]

***

One day without Ms. Potts was manageable. Barely.

Two days was hell.

Three days got Tony inquiring after the state of her health.

When he learned she was in the hospital recovering from extreme fatigue, he dropped everything to race over to said hospital.

His first impulse was to use the Iron Man suit. It would have taken him there faster.

But it was a hospital. She (as well as everyone else there) would not have appreciated the loud and flashy disruption. Therefore, a car would do.

Extreme fatigue.

She had only said she was under the weather. He was imagining she was sitting at home, bundled up in blankets or in a fluffy robe, sniffling cutely while nursing a mug of hot cocoa she’d made for herself.

At worst, it would be the flu. She would still call. Assure him and all other stakeholders that way that everything was going to be fine.

But it had been fatigue, not the flu. She had collapsed as she was walking to her parked car three days ago, on her way to work. Other tenants of her apartment building found her and rushed her to Metro General.

The hospital Tony was rushing to get to.

He hadn’t thought about bringing her anything. That was why the balloon he’d bought at the hospital lobby, when Shit I’d forgotten to bring her something finally crossed his mind, said “It’s a boy!” instead of “Get well soon!” (he was in a hurry and had grabbed the wrong balloon).

He hadn’t even thought about calling ahead. Which would have been a wise idea.

It would’ve spared him the shock of finding her smiling and laughing with a cute, young, blue-eyed doctor as she lay in her hospital bed, hooked up to an IV.

Tony didn’t know what he had been prepared to find. Ms. Potts still unconscious, maybe? Emaciated, barely able to move, like a damsel in distress?

But she looked fine. Just a little pale and weak, perhaps, but stunning as ever. Certainly strong enough to flash her billion dollar smile at a total stranger.

And the doctor she was with…looked fine.

“Don’t worry, sir, she’d asked for the best doctor in the hospital,” the nurse rushed to tell his anxious ass at reception, but he didn’t stay to hear the rest of it.

So this was the best doctor in the hospital.

“Tony!” she greeted breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”

She looked genuinely surprised to see him. The doctor standing by her bed, however, seemed unimpressed.

“I, uh,” he began. Man, that doctor had pretty eyes. “Heard you were sick? Thought you may appreciate seeing a familiar face.”

All things considered, she really did look glad to see Tony. Which was a relief.

“Of course,” she said softly. “Thank you. And I’m sorry you had to come all this way. I didn’t want to trouble you.” She glanced over at the doctor. “I was going straight to the office to take care of everything after getting discharged tomorrow.”

“Hold on, Ms. Potts,” the young doctor sternly interrupted, in a deep baritone that flowed over to Tony like melted butter. “First of all, I haven’t signed off on that yet. We still have a couple more tests to run and I may decide to keep you here another night.”

“That’s why I got the best doctor in the house,” Ms. Potts argued, in a lightly flirtatious tone that did not escape Tony. “I have no choice but to get better fast, and I will.”

“Second,” - completely ignoring said flirtatious tone - “you’re heading back to work as soon as you get out of here? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“That’s right, Ms. Potts, you’ve got to be kidding,” Tony immediately echoed. “You’re going to stay and rest for as long as you need to.”

He stepped forward to hand the “It’s a boy!” balloon over to his former executive secretary. Who seemed amused and discreetly weirded out at the gift.

“Really,” Ms. Potts muttered, one corner of her lip raised. “I seem to recall you are no longer the boss of me.”

Tony made a playful warning gesture with one hand. “I made you CEO. I can take that back, you know.”

She smiled. Gosh, how he loved when he could make her smile. He was going to have to tell her that someday.

“I’m sorry, you are - ?”

This was from Doctor Hottie at her bedside. The question made Tony pause. Or maybe it was the way the doctor’s eyes seemed to look right into his soul.

“I’m her - ” What? Significant other? Ex-boss? Biggest headache? “ - friend.”

Ms. Potts’ eyebrows rose upon hearing that…though she didn’t overtly dispute it.

“Right,” the doctor answered, incredulous - apparently every bit as perceptive as he looked. “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange, Ms. Potts’ attending physician. I was in the middle of discussing Ms. Potts’ test results with her. This is normally information reserved for the family and the patient herself, so I’ll continue if Ms. Potts allows me - otherwise I’ll come back later. I do have other patients to see.”

Uh, wow. Self-important, much?

“Okay, Doc uh…” Tony fumbled for the name. “…Strange, is it? Can I talk to you outside for a bit?”

Strange looked over at Ms. Potts. Ms. Potts nodded, giving him permission.

He stepped out of the room with Tony without further argument.

Tony wasted no time in introducing himself properly - Tony Stark, president of Stark Industries, yadda yadda - and asking Dr. Strange what the deal was. And Strange was no-nonsense about it, which Tony appreciated.

Ms. Potts had not been sleeping. She’d been neglecting drinking fluids and eating healthily. She had been going to the gym, but without proper rest and nutrition, she had just been pushing her body past its limits. Her stress and anxiety levels were through the roof. And all of it had been going on for months.

Tony’s quick-working brain translated it as this:

Ms. Potts getting sick was his fault, for forcing her into a promotion.

They’d known each other for a while now. He should have known that the perfectionist in her might push her to be harder on herself than she actually needed to be.

Lots of company heads barely did any work. But Ms. Potts was always a hands-on manager. She would never be that kind of CEO.

“She needs rest,” Dr. Strange emphasized. “Bed rest. At least a week of it. Two would be ideal.”

“Two weeks,” Tony thoughtfully repeated. “There’s…no way to speed that up, is there?”

An eyebrow shot up. “Eager to get her back to the grind, are you?”

“No.” Asshole. “I just know her well enough to know that there’s no way in hell she’ll take to two weeks of staying indoors. Stark Industries is her baby. If she’s not with her baby, she won’t be able to rest anyway.”

To Tony’s surprise, a note of compassion entered the doctor’s voice.

“I’m not recommending so much downtime on a whim. The fact of the matter is, Ms. Potts’ body badly needs to remember how to relax. When was the last time she went on vacation?”

Tony tried to think back. And came up blank.

“I…huh,” he remarked. “I don’t think she’s ever taken a vacation since she started working at SI.”

“You say you’re her friend,” the doctor said. “The best thing you could do for her as a friend is to convince her to listen to her doctor. And try to ease her burden.”

Tony thought for a second.

“I do have a place upstate,” he mused aloud. “A lakeside log cabin…nice little place, perfect for an extended vacation. She ought to be able to relax there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Strange agreed.

“It’s about a two-hour drive from here. How much to book you for regular home visits?”

The question seemed to take the good doctor aback.

“I’m a resident, Mr. Stark. I don’t do home visits.” He sounded genuinely offended, and just a tad amused. “And you can’t ‘book’ me, I’m not a taxi.”

“Wrong choice of words.” Tony threw his hands up in apology. “I’m just saying…she seems to like you. And I want her to get the best medical care while she’s recovering. Money’s no object.”

The doctor looked Tony up and down. Man, how could he look so handsome while being so annoying?

“In that case,” Dr. Strange responded, smirking, “we may be able to arrange something. Call my assistant.”

This seemed to conclude their conversation. Without so much as a by-your-leave, the annoyingly hot young doctor left to resume his rounds.

Tony let him go; his mind was already buzzing with plans to accommodate Ms. Potts in his lakeside cabin for two weeks. He had better make sure he was with her for those two weeks, just to make sure she really was resting, you know, and not on her phone stressing out and trying to run things by remote control.

And he had better be around for when Doctor Sexy came to visit.

You know.

Just to be safe.

[pastelwitchling]

This prompt is courtesy of Anonymous. It is also the continuation to this prompt request, so if you haven’t read that first, I sincerely recommend it.

if you're still taking prompts, can you do a follow up to those fics with Fiona the beagle and Alex shutting Michael out? I really love them. They're such amazing angst :D

***

               Michael’s eyes felt heavy as he sat at Alex’s bedside, the same place he’d been sitting all day. Alex had woken up hours ago, but seemed paralyzed as he lay on his side, staring ahead into space without uttering a word.

               “Alex,” Michael said, and coughed immediately, his voice dry and itchy.

               Alex hummed briefly.

               “Are you feeling better?”

               Alex said nothing as he turned his face deeper into the pillow. Michael reached out to hold the hand the airman had had beside him, and Alex’s fingers gently closed around his. Since Alex had cried himself to sleep a week ago when he’d come in, Michael found that he’d been more willing to let Michael touch him. The first time Michael had touched his shoulder, he fully expected Alex to flinch away, but the airman’s eyes only closed, and he fell asleep. The second time Michael had lightly touched his cheek, and Alex had actually turned into the warmth. It was one of the reasons Michael found it impossible to leave. He didn’t know when Alex would come back to his senses and refuse Michael’s touch. That, and when Michael was at the airstream, it was impossible to think of anything but Alex.

               He chanced another hand up, gently raking his fingers through Alex’s hair until Alex turned his face from his pillow, looking up at Michael with red eyes. “It’s gonna be okay.”

               Alex sniffed. “Why are you here?”

               Michael took his hand from Alex’s hair. “You want me to leave?”

               Alex said nothing, only tugging Michael’s hand closer so that the cowboy was forced to move out of his chair and stand beside Alex’s bed. “I want…”

               Michael leaned in. “Yeah? What is it? I’ll go get it for you.”

               Alex sighed, a tear sliding down the bridge of his nose. “I want Fiona.”

               His heart beat painfully in his chest. “I… I, uh…”

               “I know, Guerin,” he whispered, closing his eyes, his hold on Michael’s hand tightening as he pulled it to his chest. “I know.”

               Michael hesitated, then leaned forward, and pressed his lips to Alex’s temple.

               Alex inhaled sharply, pulling away, his hand slipping from Michael’s. “What’re you doing?”

               He stepped back. “I – I just—”

               “Alex,” Kyle walked in, his eyes on the file in his hands. “Time for your medication.”

               “But I feel better,” Alex muttered, avoiding Michael’s eyes. “I don’t need it.”

               “Yeah, well,” he closed the file and smiled innocently at Alex, “I’m the expert, and I say you do.”

               Alex rubbed his eyes. “I’m feeling well enough to go home.”

               “And I will happily take you,” Kyle said, helping Alex sit up against his pillows, “in a few days, after your fever’s gone, and I know there’s no threat.”

               Alex winced as he leaned against the pillows, but as Michael blinked, the airman rubbed his face, hiding it from Kyle. “You worry too much,” he said.

               “You don’t worry enough,” Kyle said as he pressed the back of his hand to Alex’s forehead, then his cheek. “You’re sweating, are you nervous about something?” he joked, but Michael couldn’t miss the way Alex glanced at him then quickly away, his cheeks turning red.

               Something in him soared at the thought that he could still make Alex blush. If he could just get Kyle out and be alone with the airman for a little longer, maybe Alex would let him kiss him again, maybe he would listen to Michael, let him explain. Maybe he would forgive him.

               “Well, sweating’s good, it means the fever’s gone down.”

               “So I can leave,” Alex said.

               “I said it’s gone down, I didn’t say it was gone,” Kyle said, checking the IV strips. “You really did a number on yourself, Alex.”

               Alex sighed tiredly, as if he had no energy to say anything else.

               “You want some water?”

               He shook his head, rubbing his face. Michael thought it was meant to look casual, though he couldn’t miss the way Alex focused his fingers on his eyes. “You have anything back at the cabin you want me to bring?”

               “I’ll go,” Kyle stood and stretched. “It’s time for my break anyway.”

               Michael put a hand up, stopping him. “I said I’d go—”

               “Do you even know where anything is?” Kyle asked, and Michael clenched his jaw, unable to answer. He looked to Alex. “I’ll go get it, what do you need?”

               Alex was still for a moment, then, “Fiona’s pictures. They’re in—”

               “Your bedroom, I know. On the nightstand?”

               Alex only nodded, and Kyle patted his shoulder before he promised him he’d be right back, and left. The silence that followed was painful. Michael replayed the scene between the doctor and the airman in his head, the intimacy of it like a nail digging into his heart. Kyle talked like he lived with Alex, and Michael feared that maybe there was some truth to that. The idea that they were so comfortable around each other that Kyle could easily say he would be going into Alex’s cabin without Alex being there, and Alex being so okay with it that he hardly batted an eye – it was all too much. How far behind was he?

               “You mad at me for kissing you?” Alex looked up at him, startled. He shook his head. “Really?”

               “Guerin, I…” he reached out for something beside him, seemed to realize it wasn’t there, and his hand turned to a fist, falling onto the bed. “Why are you here?”

               Michael swallowed, then took a seat in the chair next to him. “Would you have left?”

               “I don’t know,” Alex confessed. “I would hope so.”

               “I wouldn’t. Think about it, I’m lying here, so sick I can’t even leave, and—”

               “I don’t want to think about that,” Alex said quietly, and Michael’s joke fell short. He pressed his lips together, nodding. “So you wouldn’t leave.”

               Alex closed his eyes, and said nothing else. Michael was content with watching him, the corner of his lips turning upward slightly. Alex’s jaw was sharp, his lips pursed, his long lashes curled against his rosy cheeks. It baffled Michael how someone could only grow more and more beautiful every day. Michael leaned in, hoping to just brush his lips against Alex’s cheek, see if it was as warm as it looked, but then the door opened, and he stood.

               “Got ‘em,” Kyle panted. Michael thought he must’ve really hurried if he was so out of breath. “There ya go.”

               “Thanks,” Alex said as he took the pictures, and without taking a second to look at them, he turned them over, and was about to tear them when both Michael and Kyle came closer, yelling at him to stop.

               “Alex, what’re you doing?!” Michael yelled as Kyle snatched the photos from him.

               “You don’t have any copies of these!” Kyle warned.

               Alex stretched a hand toward Kyle. “Give them back.”

               “Are you out of your mind? Kyle asked. “These are the last things you have of her.”

               “And if I get rid of them, I won’t think about her anymore.”

               “You think that makes the pain stop?” Michael asked, and Alex clenched his jaw, his eyes on Kyle as they filled with tears. “You think it makes anything better?”

               “I don’t want to…” he muttered, and Michael felt himself getting angry. This was Alex Manes, his Alex Manes – how could he want to give up so easily? Since when did he prefer numbness to grief? He was supposed to be the one that chose to feel, he was the one that guided Michael back from feeling lost – how would he do that if he was lost, too?

               He grabbed Alex’s shoulders, his grip tight, shaking the airman slightly. “Don’t want what? Don’t want to feel it anymore?”

               Alex squirmed away from him, a tear falling down his cheek. “I don’t want to…”

               “What?”

               “Guerin,” Kyle put a hand on Michael’s shoulder, pulling him back. “Stop it, he’s already sick—”

               “What don’t you want, Alex? Tell me!”

               Alex shoved him away, reaching out to take the pictures from Kyle. “They’re my pictures,” he breathed. “I get to do what I want with them, hand them over.” When Kyle hesitated, Alex snapped, “NOW!”

               Kyle clenched his jaw, his eyes on Alex as he put the pictures back in his hands.

               Fiona was the last proof he had that… he was good. That he was just… Alex.

               “Fine, Alex, that’s fine,” Michael said quietly. “But know this. If you tear those pictures, I swear I’ll never speak to you again.”

               Alex stilled, his expression on the photographs seemingly blank.

               “I’ll walk right out, and you’ll never see me.”

               After what felt like an hour, Alex’s shoulders fell ever so slightly, and he dropped the photos to his lap.

               Kyle released the breath he was holding and said, “Thank you.”

               But Alex didn’t seem to hear him as he stared at the pictures. Michael watched him carefully, to see if he would try to rip them again, but he just settled back against his pillows, his eyes on his dog.

               “Okay,” Kyle said slowly, as if afraid that any sudden loud sounds would frighten the airman. Michael, however, didn’t think Alex was in a state to react to anything. “I have to go finish up my rounds. I’ll be right back, okay?”

               Alex moved onto his side, turning his back to them, Fiona’s photos in his arms.

               Michael caught Kyle’s eyes, the doctor silently warning him to keep an eye on Alex. If he does anything to those pictures, he will regret it. Don’t let him.

               But Michael didn’t need Kyle to tell him. He had feared to leave Alex before. Now he refused it. He stared at Alex, unable to look away. He vaguely registered Alex’s room door opening and closing, and he knew he and Alex were alone. He should’ve kept his distance, he should’ve tried getting Alex to talk first, or maybe he should’ve stayed completely silent. But instead, he sat on Alex’s bed, lying down beside him, his arm around waist.

               Alex tensed in his hold for a moment, his fingers cut with how roughly he was scraping his skin across the photos’ edge, but he soon melted into Michael’s hold, letting the cowboy pull him in against his chest.

               “Just for a little bit,” Alex muttered, another tear falling down the bridge of his nose.

               Michael nodded, pressing his nose against the nape of Alex’s neck, his hold on him tightening.

***

I’m so glad you enjoyed the fic with Fiona! I have one more prompt to go before my hiatus, and it looks like it’s going to be a fluffy kylex one, so prepare yourselves for that!

Thank you so much for the prompt, I hope you enjoyed reading 💕

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / personal / tmi / menstruation / endometriosis / long post ... Im so fucking sick of healthcare professionals telling me to just wait it out and pushing my problems onto other doctors I just got my 5th shot of lupron and have 1 more next month. On my appointment last week i told the gyn how ive been having much more cramping and tissue but not blood coming out regularly and he said its possible the combined lupron and norethindrone are making my uterine lining too thin, and to stop the norethindrone (it was being prescribed to help any menopause-like side effects the lupron can have) And less than 24 hours after my first missed dose i get a full blown period complete with extreme mood swings and depression Im not bleeding this week but im still cramping and the mood swings are so fucking bad, being chronically ill and not getting enough relief from any of my medications is making all of this worse but im literally breaking down over any little thing The lupron and norethindrone combined i guess have been suppressing all my emotions bc this is what it was like on the daily before i started it (just not as bad) which is telling me that none of my psych meds are working but whatever I just now got off the phone with my psych and he said he doesnt want to do anything with my meds or dosing bc he says its related to hormones and thats what my gyn needs to address and i Need To Wait im fucking sick of waiting i cant do this ive been waiting since last august!!!!!!! I now have to wait 2 more whole months of mood swings until i can have another appointment with him hes refused to actually screen me for adhd too and says its bc im An Artist type that im not able to sit down and draw anything since last fall like i fucking hate him and he never gets my name or pronouns right and i cant go see a new psych bc of all the closures and i dont wanna call my gyn bc he said if things get worse i need to have a pelvic ultrasound done again and i cant do it!!! I fucking cant do it it hurts too much im too traumatized from depoprovera and mirena that i cant even touch myself without extreme dysphoria and fear that im going to cramp Its killing me that as someone who was so personally sexual to completely be traumatized from the road to an endometriosis diagnosis that i can no longer masturbate or even talk about sex without anxiety and being trans on top of it hurts even more Next gyn appt is my last injection of lupron and im really gonna push to plan for a partial hysterectomy (i only had endo cysts on the back of my uterus but it was 100% confirmed with surgery and biopsy) so i hope it will help so i can stop taking all these fucking hormonal medications like Before being diagnosed i was really planning on going on testosterone but now im too scared because i feel like it would really fuck up my health problems more - mentally and physically Ive given up on passing and am trying to focus on body acceptance especially now that ove had rapid weight gain that isnt being addressed by any of ky doctors i bring it up to God im just trying to vent here but seriously Do not take the diagnosis of endometriosis lightly its super serious to go forth with any treatments and you really have to commit to long term treatments and its a gamble either way For me not starting any treatments was unacceptable i needed help with extreme monthly periods and all forms of birth control ive tried exacerbated symptoms and never stopped bleeding - i literally cannot personally recommend any form of medical birth control bc every one has fucked me over, many different pills at different points in my life, shot (depoprovera gave me debilitating cramps and i bled non stop all 3 months which started this whole journey to diagnosis), iud (iud was the worst i had to go to the er bc the gyn refused to give me pain meds and i was screaming in pain a few hours later unBle to move or think - i really cannot stress enough how painful and long insertion is like it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life crying while it felt like a knife going through me) I really dont want that ultrasound tho ffs i had to get the first one done while i was in full force cramps during my depoprovera shot and the pelvic ultrasound rod is humongous and they dig it around inside you (i already had a painful and hard time trying to have pleasurable penetration even by myself or with partners) and it takes like 40 minutes of jumbling around your insides for them to document every thing like at least at that time i was only like 2 months from my last time jerking off but now its been almost 6 months of me not even thinking about putting more than one finger in to clean myself in the shower like to go right into an huge ultrasound is going to be so painful and anxiety inducing and i cant do it id rather go straight into surgery My biggest phobias have to do with pain around this part of my anatomy i cannot stress enough how long ive wanted a hysterectomy just so i dont have to fear accidentally getting p r e g... like i would literally kms... i would probably be able to handle the pain of cutting off my arm with a rusty knife better than extreme cramping pain like i had with the iud or ultrasound its such a phobia and now its source of trauma for me from everything ive gone through the last 6 months Having to readjust my life goals from doing p o r n as a hobby and wanting to transition and be who i am, to becoming a vegetable and trying to cope with the fact that i cant ever transition how i hoped Everything just really sucks for me right now and i have literally no social life any more, not even online bc im so stressed about my health and my attention is so bad i cant focus on a convo online, my laptop is about at its grave so all i have is a phone and xbox with bare minimum internet speed.. i live in the middle of nowhere and cant get my license bc the person who was guiding me to drive is an essential worker in a hospital so i cant go in their car any more... im just so fucking alone i cant do anything except break my back gardening and then cry about it later bc my fucking meds dont fucking work!!!!!!!!! Oh thats another thing im also dealing with fucking gerd on top of all this and i cant get the proceedure i need done to confirm if i need surgery or not bc the fucking lockdown!!!! So im stuck taking pantoprazole (been trying similar meds since march 2019 and its currently june 2020!!!!!!) I just want to eat tomatoes and chocolate again it fucking kills me if i dont take pantoprazole i will lose my voice and have such a sore throat and ears from the stomach acid and i know im gonna have to stop it for 2 weeks for one of the tests i need done and its going to be literal hell like it feels worse than strep throat ill probably do the thing where i start choking and coughing at night bc it gets so bad Im a fucking mess like why couldnt all of this happen one at a time I really want to get my belly pierced again bc i feel so naked without it but i cant bc i probably will be having 2 surgeries once covid blows over (if it ever does) Sorry for taking up so much dash space im just really hurting and need some outlet bc therapy isnt helping rn

[pharmacyforthemasses]

Sleep and Sleep Medications

So, sleep. There are two kinds of sleep: REM and non-REM. NREM is further broken down into four stages. During REM sleep, the brain is very active. During NREM, things tend to slow down. NREM sleep is affected by the neurotransmitters GABA and adenosine. REM sleep is “switched on” by cholinergic cells. Both types of sleep are necessary.

Insomnia is a very common problem, affecting around 30-50% of the population at some point in their lives. Primary insomnia is insomnia that is not caused by another disease. Secondary insomnia is a symptom of another disorder. For example, insomnia is common in people with depression and anxiety. There are also different ways that people experience insomnia. Some people can’t fall asleep, some people wake up early and can’t get back to sleep, some people are lucky enough to experience both. Personally, I’m an early-waker.

How insomnia is managed depends on a few factors. First, treatment varies based on whether insomnia is transient, short-term, or chronic. Treatment will also vary based on frequency of insomnia, effect on daytime functioning, and cause of insomnia (if one is identified).

Okay, so you’ve decided to talk to your doctor about the trouble you’ve been having with sleep. The first thing they’re going to do is rip apart your sleep hygiene habits. Let’s be real. We have terrible sleep hygiene habits. I’m playing on my phone basically up until the moment I close my eyes to sleep. I take naps as often as possible. I have the barest hint of a sleep schedule. After listening to you explain your sleep hygiene, the doctor will make something along the following recommendations:

Establish regular times to wake up and to go to sleep (including weekends). Sleep only as much as necessary to feel rested. Go to bed only when sleepy. Avoid long periods of wakefulness in bed. Use the bed only for sleep or intimacy; do not read or watch television in bed. Avoid trying to force sleep; if you do not fall asleep within 20-30 minutes, leave the bed and perform a relaxing activity (eg, read, listen to music) until drowsy. Repeat this as often as necessary. Avoid blue spectrum light from television, smart phones, tablets, and other mobile devices. Avoid daytime naps, and my personal favorite, schedule worry time during the day, do not take your troubles to bed.

Who schedules their worry time?

If you’re like most people, you’ve done a Google search before going to the doctor and you’ve already probably tried most of these things. Let’s pretend your doctor actually listens when you tell them this. Thus, it’s time to move up to the next tier of treatment, level 2: herbal and over-the-counter remedies.

I’m not too informed about herbal remedies. Melatonin has shown efficacy for some sleep disorders, but not primary insomnia. Valerian root has some evidence supporting its use. Anything else, though, I’m not sure.

There are a ton of over the counter sleep aids. Tylenol PM, Advil PM, ZZZquil, Unisom. Here is a secret: they’re all the same thing. The ingredient in all those OTC options that puts you to sleep are older antihistamines, usually diphenhydramine (Benadryl). This stuff is effective if you have transient insomnia but taking it long term isn’t the greatest because you can develop tolerance and need higher doses. High doses of diphenhydramine have some unpleasant side effects, so if you have insomnia that’s more frequent than a day or two a month, you need something else.

You tell your doctor, “I heard from my pharmacist that those OTC medicines aren’t good for long term use. I have insomnia almost every night. What other options are there?”

In a sane world, you would then be bumped up to the next level of treatment:, level 3: benzodiazepine receptor agonists (BZDRA), a class of drugs that contains benzodiazepines along with the “z hypnotics” zolpidem (Ambien), zaleplon (Sonata), and eszopiclone (Lunesta). These medications are generally safe and effective, though they do have some side effects to watch out for: daytime drowsiness, rebound insomnia when discontinued, and tolerance. However, studies about long term use support their usage for chronic insomnia.

However, we do not live in a sane world, so the odds of being a prescribed a BZDRA are low. These drugs are all classified as schedule iv narcotics by the DEA, a classification which means “this drug carries some risk of physical dependence, some-to-high risk of psychological dependence.” Doctors are reluctant to prescribe controlled substances (something I’m sure many of you are aware of) these days because the DEA is breathing down their necks about the opioid crisis. So instead of getting a generally safe, effective medication with solid evidence backing its use, you’re much more likely to get bumped into an alternative track of treatment, which we’ll call 3A: antidepressants.

Antidepressants have shown efficacy in treating insomnia…in depressed patients. There’s not really evidence supporting using them in non-depressed patients, but doctors do it anyway because they’re “safer.” Except they’re not, really; these drugs have significant side effects like weight gain, daytime drowsiness, cardiac conduction abnormalities, and others. Common antidepressants used to treat insomnia are trazodone, mirtazapine, nortriptyline, and doxepin. I have had personal experience with mirtazapine, doxepin, and trazodone. I’m currently taking trazodone because it’s the least awful one I’ve tried.

There’s one more medication worth mentioning, but it doesn’t really fit into the “tracks.” It is called Suvorexant. This drug is kind of cool, because instead of inducing sleepiness, it turns off your body’s wakefulness signaling. So once you’re asleep, you stay asleep. Obviously this is more effective for people who have trouble staying asleep rather than falling asleep.

So that’s it for the sleep medication guide. I could write a whole post about how ridiculously hard it is to get a prescription for a BZDRA, and I might in the future—I could also talk about how hard it is to get stimulant ADHD medications, if anyone’s interested. If you want some tips on talking to your doctor about insomnia, I’m always happy to roleplay so you can be more prepared.

[sigynpenniman]

Just Sick - a very fluffy Julian BashirxReader one shot

In which Julian Bashir is a very, very good doctor.

Author note: I write best in first person so first person it is. It’s still a reader insert in my mind though, just insert yourself lol. Also, not really a romantic relationship here, just an affectionate and close one. This is pretty much just a warn, fluffy, “Julian Bashir cares for you while you are very ill”. Fluff, H/C, not-really-romantic, tw/cw for hospital/medical stuff, descriptions of being very ill and mention of needles. Tbh this is the fic I wanted to exist, but it didn’t, so I just...wrote it. @a-star-that-fell - based on that message you sent me, I think you might enjoy this one!

I woke up before I opened my eyes. I wasn’t even sure what had woken me up - it was silent in the room save for the persistent beeping that permeated every space on the station. I shivered. It was freezing cold; or, more accurately, I was freezing cold. And someone was after me. Or were they? I felt my heart rate rise, slightly. Where was I, even?

I opened my eyes and looked straight ahead at a blueish grey wall. Right. The infirmary. I pushed my hand into the bed and pulled myself into an upright position. It was then that I felt it, all over. The overwhelming misery. I hadn’t been that miserable when Julian had left me here - not great, not even good, but okay. He had diagnosed me with some disease with an alien name but a routine and nearly harmless prognosis and sent me home. I had one too many experiences with illnesses that felt like nothing but then weren’t, and so I had asked if I could spend the night in the infirmary instead. Julian had, of course, said yes.

I put my head in my hands. My brain felt like warm syrup, and my whole body felt like I was dying. I swallowed. It sent a wave of electric pain through me. My throat felt as if someone has scoured it with steel wool. I started to cry. The misery was overwhelming; there was nothing to do but cry. My brain struggled to keep up. It was like thinking in molasses. I tried to figure out exactly why I was crying, but I wasn’t quite able to think clearly enough to know. I only had single words flash through: miserable, cold, scared, tired. I heard a rapidly approaching set of footsteps, and Julian leaned into the room and looked at me.

“Are you alright? I thought I heard crying.”

“Julian!” I nearly yelled, through my tears.

His eyes grew wide with concern. “Anne, what’s wrong?” He asked.

I started to open my mouth to answer, but all that came out was a panicked sob.

���Hey...hey...you’re okay. You’re alright.”

Julian spoke warmly and crossed the space between us in a few, long strides. He reached out and gently rubbed my shoulder. “Hey” He said again, quietly.

I made eye contact with him. “Julian...” I repeated. I was having a hard time collecting things to say that weren’t just his name.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” He asked. He sat down on the bed next to me.

I hunted for words. They came out all once, and a little bit incoherent, between sobs.

“I feel so bad. I feel...so bad. My throat hurts so much. And my head, too. I can’t...think? My brain is moving kinda slow. And thick. And sticky? That makes no sense. I’m not even sure what’s real. I’m pretty sure I was having a dream about someone being after me...”

I paused and locked eyes with Julian in a panic. “Is someone after me? No one’s after me right?”

Julian smiled slightly, an affectionate, slightly amused, but deeply concerned, smile. It was the kind of look you give anyone you love who’s just looked at you and tearfully asked a nonsense question. He shook his head. “No, no one’s after you. NoTHING is after you. You’re safe.”

I nodded. Moving my head made my brain feel like it was rattling in my skull. The sudden, pounding pain caught me off guard and I put my head in my hands again.

“Are you cold?”

“Very.” I answered.

“Look at me.”

I removed my hands from my face and picked my head up. Julian pressed a cool hand against my forehead.

“You’re absolutely melting. That’s why you’re a little delirious too - high fevers can cause delirium, in some cases.” He removed a tricorder from his pocket and scanned me, studying it intensely.

“How high?” I asked.

“One hundred and three. And you’re very dehydrated, as well.” He tapped the Rs in “hundred” and “three” slightly in his proper English accent and I couldn’t help but smile despite my overwhelming misery. He caught this out of the corner of his eye, and smiled back at me.

“Ah! That got a smile! Though, I’m not really sure why that’s what got a smile.”

“I just never get tired of your accent.”

“It’s been three years” – He stuffed his tricorder back in his pocket – “And you’re still not over my accent?”

I shook my head.

“Julian, I will never be over your accent.”

I coughed, several times. My throat felt as if it was being ripped through. Julian, who was still sitting next to me, rubbed my back. The ripping pain in my throat put me back over the edge and tears began to bite at my eyes again.

“I’m going to try and make you feel better, okay? Let me do a quick symptom rundown here, and you tell me if I’m missing anything: fever, headache, throat hurts, general malaise. Did I miss anything?”

I shook my head.

“Alright. I’m going to go gather a pile of medication for you, and we’ll see how many of these things we can take the edge off. I’ll get you some water as well, you need to keep drinking. Got any further requests?”

I shook my head again. I knew if I opened my mouth to speak I would just start crying again, so I kept my answers to nods.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Julian asked softly.

Another nod. Julian stood and walked out of room. I gave up trying to keep it together and melted back into heavy sobs. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been too sick to stop crying, but it wasn’t an experience I was enjoying.

When Julian returned a few minutes later, I was sitting, knees pulled to my chest, sort of balled up on the bed, with the blanket wrapped around me. I was still sobbing. I didn’t even realize Julian was in the room until he rested his hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly and looked up, and straight into Julian’s dark, kind, worried eyes.

“It’s okay. It’s just me.” He spread a hypospray and an assortment of tubes full of medication out on the bed next to me and handed me a glass of water.

“Drink. You have to stay hydrated. You’re already headed towards dangerously dehydrated as it is - if you don’t want an IV in your arm, I recommend that you start knocking back the water.”

“Thanks” I answered with a heavy sniffle. I took the glass from him and took a long sip. Even the water hurt my throat going down and I went back to crying. Julian frowned and wrapped his arms around me, the whole ball of knees and weeping that I was. I buried my snotty face in his uniform. He stroked my hair.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be alright. I’m going to try and make you feel better, okay? I can’t promise it’s enough, but I’ll going to do my best. And I’ll be right here with you, no matter what. I’m not going to leave you alone again.”

I nodded, which mostly just meant rubbing my face on his uniform a bit.

“Can I let you go, briefly?” He asked. “I need to tank you up. I want to get all these meds into your system as quickly as possible so they start working. How about this – let me let you go for a minute and medicate you, and you drink some more water, and then you can unfold yourself and I can hug you properly.”

“It’s a deal” I answered. Julian unwrapped me from his arms. I leaned my head to one side and presented my neck. I watched my ever affectionate, ever concerned doctor loading one of the tubes of medication into the hypospray in his hand.

“You know” Julian began, in the tone that meant he was about to launch into a list of facts of some kind or other. I made a hum of acknowledgement as Julian steadied my head with his hand and pressed the the cold metal of the hypospray into my neck. “You should be glad you live in the 24th century. The Hypospray is a pretty recent invention - if we were in the 21st century, I’d be sticking needles in you right now.”

“I’m glad every day.”

Julian finished unloading the various medicines into my neck. I sat up straight and Julian pressed the glass of water back into my hand. I took another long, painful sip and handed it back to him.

“Can I be honest?” I asked, my voice sounding like gravel.

“Of course.”

“I don’t think any of that helped at all.”

“It won’t, immediately. It’ll probably take about 15 minutes for the medication to start working.”

“Then it’s normal that I still feel like I’m dying?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“...was that thing you said earlier about a hug a promise?”

“It absolutely was. Can you unfold yourself?”

I nodded tearfully and removed my knees from my chest. Julian sat down on the bed next to me.

“Is there anything else I can do?” He asked.

“Just hug me. Please.” I sniffled. Julian pulled me into a tight hug.

“You’re going to be okay” he reassured me, as I leaned into him.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. His uniform was crisp and cool under my cheek, but his body was warm, and I snuggled as close to him as I could and did my best to soak it up. I was still freezing cold.

“You’re shaking!”

“I’m still so cold. It’s like I’m cold to my bones. But you’re warm.”

Julian squeezed me tighter. I adjusted my head on his shoulder and realized I could hear his heart beating; quiet, slow, rhythmic. I inhaled deeply and did my best to relax the varying parts of my body I had been tensing for some reason or another. Julian was a thin man, but a soft one. He made for a very good snuggle. I still didn’t feel good, I was still sick as a dog, but I felt better in his arms.

“I bet you never thought you’d just be snuggling one of your patients.”

Julian gently rubbed my arm. “Is it helping?” He asked.

“So much” I whispered.

“Then I’m just doing my job as a healer.”

I took another deep breath. “I think it’s a natural gift you’ve got. You’re not a healer for your skills or training. It’s just your aura. All that legit medical attention...” I paused. “And I think just being snuggled helps more than any of it.”

Julian tucked my head under his chin. I yawned. I felt the most like falling asleep I had in forever. It seemed like the easiest thing in the world, safe and warm and entangled completely with Julian.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course” Julian answered, dutifully.

“Can you...stay? I know you’ve got other things to do and places to be, but I feel so much better like this. I’m so tired. I could just fall asleep just as I am.”

Julian laughed. It was a warm, loving, slightly amused laugh. “I said I wasn’t leaving you I wasn’t kidding. I absolutely can stay and I absolutely will. Can we...rearrange this?”

I laughed too.

“Of course.” I removed myself from Julian’s hug. He pulled himself up to the head of the bed and leaned against the back wall. He stuffed a pillow behind his back and extended his arms to me. I crawled back into his lap and he wrapped his arms around me again. I resumed my position, resting my head against his chest, his heart beating quietly under my ear. All the noises of the infirmary beeped quietly in the background. Julian had tucked my head under his chin again and was gently rubbing my arm. This was, I felt sure, the most comforting place in the world to be. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting immediately.

“Goodnight Julian” I whispered. He kissed the top of my head.

“Goodnight Anne.”

The next time I woke up, it was only briefly. Julian, bless him, was still holding me close. He was, however, also fast asleep. I grinned at his sleeping face and fell back asleep myself.

When I woke up for good I was alone. I pulled myself out of the bed and took a couple questioning steps towards the door. I felt like a different person than the night before. I walked out of the back room of infirmary and into Julian’s laboratory. He was studying something on the computer.

“Good morning!” I exclaimed brightly. Julian spun around in his chair and smiled at me.

“Good morning! You seem much better!”

“I am. Thank you. How did you get out from under me without waking me up?”

Julian shrugged. “Carefully.”

“I know that was a tall order last night. But you stayed with me. I can’t tell you how much it helped.” I crossed the few steps between us and extended my hands to him. He reached out and took them. “Thank you” I breathed. “Thank you, for everything.”

“You said it helped, right?”

“More than you know.”

Julian squeezed my hands. “Then, my dear, I am just doing my job.”

“As a friend? As a healer?”

Julian smiled.

“As both.”

[deadmomjokes]

(Normal? 1/2) I just went to a psychiatrist for the first time today. I got a recommendation from a therapist I used to see for a handful of appointments. I tried to be open minded, but I think they were bad at their job? They didn't tell me what the diagnosis was for sure (I could only assume depression/anxiety), and when I brought up concerns with general side effects, they brushed it off saying all things have side effects listed. They didn't even ask for all my symptoms?

(Normal? 2/2) I brought a whole notebook of information per recommendation of my past therapist, but then the psychiatrist never even asked about my family health history or triggers or coping mechanisms Ive tried. I don’t know, I felt like I was just treated like a body and had a set routine she was going through rather than actually hearing me. Am I just being overly anxious about this? Was this normal? Do they not need to know all my symptoms if I think I know what I got???

(Normal, Bonus) I don’t know, sorry for bothering you about this, I’m just super worried and don’t know anyone I can ask if this is normal for these kinds of appointments/treatments. Thank you so much for your time, even if you don’t answer. Have a lovely day

You’re definitely not bothering me at all! This stuff is hard enough to navigate without having a rotten experience like you did. And I do think your experience was terrible. You’re not just being overly anxious, you’re well within your right be frustrated and confused by your experience, and I would certainly find it anxiety provoking, myself!

A psychiatrist should absolutely be interested in both your symptoms and how they are affecting your day-to-day, as well as family history. As my husband explains it, a psychiatrist is primarily a doctor that also knows some psychology. If you went to a doctor experiencing a bunch of symptoms, and with a family history of certain conditions, and they just kind of brushed them aside and sent you straight to pills, it would be bad form. This is no different.

While it’s true that all medications have side effects, even stuff like ibuprofen, a doctor should never dismiss or handwave your concerns, particularly when it’s a psychiatric medication, where the side effects can be more serious and bothersome. She should have spent time talking to you, too, about what her thoughts were and WHY she was prescribing you a medicine in the first place. The fact that you walked out of there with pills and no clearly stated differential diagnosis is concerning to me. Not to say that the medication won’t help, but she should have taken time to talk to you about her thoughts and what the medicine is generally used for. It’s possible that she wasn’t able to make a definitive diagnosis after one appointment, or that she assumed your therapist had more or less diagnosed you already and she was going based on that, but she should have explained it a whole lot better.

It’s possible that if the therapist referred you, they could have sent over their case notes and that’s what the psychiatrist was going off of. She could have seen things like your symptoms and history in the notes, but since the therapist told you to bring a list to your appointment, and you said the therapist was a past therapist, I find that slightly less likely.

Depending on what the medicine is, I’d say it’s almost certain to be for anxiety/depression. Medicines like SSRIs and SNRIs, which are used for anxiety/depression/ptsd are generally considered safe, and so most doctors are comfortable writing prescriptions for those even after just one appointment. I know you’ve probably been doing a ton of research on it already, but since the psych didn’t take the time to talk to you about these meds, I’ll give you a quick (non-professional) rundown. (Handy graphic I did here!)

SSRI stands for Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor. Basically, when anxious/depressed, your brain doesn’t get enough of the serotonin it needs from what you’re producing naturally. Serotonin naturally gets reabsorbed after a certain amount of time anyway, meaning the places its supposed to go are short because the supply is low to begin with, and then your brain keeps sucking it back up before it can get where it needs to go in the quantities it needs to be in. The medicine stops much of the serotonin from being reabsorbed so more of it floats around free and ready for your brain to actually use. It won’t naturally increase the amount you make, but it does increase the amount that’s available, and sometimes having a good, steady, sufficient supply will allow your brain to get back to normal levels of production, because hey, everything’s working great now and we don’t have a nasty feedback loop! That’s why some people can go off their meds after a while and be fine; their brain has fixed the deficit enough to fix the production problem. (If you’re like me, your brain has something wrong with it where it has never produced enough and probably will never until they make a bunch of medical advancements.) SNRIs do the same thing but with both Serotonin and Norepinephrine (Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors).

Generally speaking, the first try for anxiety and depression is an SSRI. If, however, you only have anxiety and not depression, or depression which stems from the constant anxiety, they may try an SNRI, which is specifically for anxiety and things like chronic pain. That’s not to say that SNRIs aren’t helpful for depression, because they are (that serotonin again), but it’s generally for a primary anxiety or pain concern. SNRIs can also sometimes be helpful for people with ADHD, but it’s generally not a first try or used alone.

Some common SSRIs that they start people on are Lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, and Celexa. they have fewer side effects than most, or are most easily tolerated. Generally it’s things like temporary headache and fatigue (which can be reduced by taking the medicine at night). Common SNRIs are Cymbalta, Pristiq, and Effexor. They tend to have more side effects or more annoying side effects, like nausea, dizziness, and sweating.

Ultimately, only you can decide whether you’re comfortable enough with that doctor’s analysis of the situation in order to start the medication that she prescribed, but it is well within your rights both to go ahead and see, and to find a second opinion. Most insurance allows for a second opinion if you schedule the appointment as such, or you could contact your insurance to find out how they’d handle a second psych appointment with someone other than the first doctor.

Your therapist wouldn’t have agreed to refer you to a psychiatrist if they didn’t think medication might be in your best interest, so the question here may be whether you’re comfortable enough with the analysis of your problems to start this medicine. Unfortunately, side effects with psychiatric medication are relatively common, but not all of them last the whole time you’re taking it or are that serious. Sometimes they can also be predicted by your past health history; for instance, if you’ve ever experienced migraines, you’re more likely to get headaches as a side effect when starting or upping dose on a medication.

I’m sorry you’re in such a sticky and anxiety-provoking situation. That’s a lousy place to be in, especially when you’re already having a rough time. Feel free to ask any more questions you like, to vent, to ask my opinion on the specific medicine (I’ve been on a lot of them, because my brain is garbage and likes to build resistances), or to keep me updated on what you decide to do. Also, I apologize if I’ve misread the situation/your asks, or if my response was totally off the mark for what you were hoping. I’m gonna blame that on baby brain and also switching dosage of my own medicine. (I’m starting the Weird Zone today, so hopefully this response has been coherent cuz I’m not in any position to tell that for myself.)

[thaiteastacey]

Traveling abroad while pregnant: 6 months pregnant all through Morocco and Turkey

So a little overview about this post

 I will be going over tips and my experiences traveling while 6 months pregnanct (I came back to Miami at 28 weeks and 2 days pregnant) I was traveling for a little over a month. Please also see your doctor before traveling while pregnant or taking certain things I took—each pregnancy is different.

 At the start of my pregnancy and well into the 5th month I kept throwing up pretty bad and well you can check those post to get a glimpse of how I felt! Thankfully I felt better a week before my flight so here’s some tips I recommend

 Wear compression socks! 

 This was a life saver for me because I get cramps really fast and the flight was extremely long from Miami to Istanbul. 

 Bring an empty thermos bottle! 

 Also another life saver for me (basically everything was but this was extra important!) i filled up my bottle at the Miami airport at one of their water fountains. 

 Drink lots of water while on the plane

 My doctor also recommended I drink lots of water in the plane to get up and pee as often as I can in order to prevent blood clots.

 Bring a travel pillow

 So I started getting sleepy around my fourth month of pregnancy and my head swung pretty bad in my car so I knew I needed a pillow plus you will use it if you are going on long road trips.

 Don’t forget Imodium (or anti diarrheal pills) 

 I get pretty sick when I get food poisoning and I definitely did not want to risk it. My doctor didn’t tell me about this but I asked her and she said it was okay for me to take while pregnant. She also said if it lasted longer and I got really bad to go get an IV at a hospital asap. I ended up using 1 pill when I went to the beach in Kenitra. We had breakfast there and it was a cheap restaurant so bad idea! I wasn’t the only one to get sick. I brought two boxes of pills so I had enough to share.

 Do not drink ice or from the faucet/ tap water. 

 The doctor did tell me this so I had to keep buying bottled water. Also this is where your thermos comes in handy. In morocco it was hard for me to find cold water especially down south (not ice but cold). The thermos will keep your water cool unlike plastic bottles. Just fill it with any cold bottles you buy. Also always make sure the bottles are brand new because some restaurants will fill them with tap.

 Bring extra underwear/pads

 So one new pregnancy symptom I got while in morocco was that I started to pee if I sneezed to hard or coughed! And sometimes it was ALOT! Pretty embarrassing but also if you are traveling cross country it’s bad when you have to change your underwear multiple times a day. I ended up buying underwear here but they weren’t that comfortable so do not forget.

 Bring sanitizer and wet wipes

 After going to the bathroom or just interacting with people or eating with your hands (before or after) try to always clean your hands/phone/items you touch often in order to prevent sickness. In Morocco lots of dishes are eaten with ones hands and it’s pretty easy to dirty your hands. Also don’t expect much from the restrooms. They have some old style restrooms that are basically a hole in the floor and no lie I kept getting piss splashing on my feet. Wet wipe came in handy because sometimes there’s no running water and most of the time no soap. Bring your own tissue if you need it.

  Bring comfortable bras 

 I brought 1 regular bra and 2 stretchy nursing bras. I don’t plan on coming back while pregnant or traveling for this long anywhere but just in case! I would recommend to bring more.

 Bring Tylenol 

 I used it a few times since in the start of my trip I did so much walking I was in extreme pain (lower back and legs). I also used it before arriving to the Sahara since I was really sick.

  Bring a copy of your marriage certificate 

 I honestly thought this was a bunch of nonsense when I heard that a hotel was asking for this. After all I am not from here and my husband already has citizenship in the US so why right?! But apparently I saw it on trip advisor and I probably missed it I my morocco travel book if not they really need to update.

I was fortunate to have my mother in law find mine and send us a photo. It really didn’t matter that I was pregnant and showing (little bump but still). 

 Buy fruit/snacks for later

 I didn’t each much during my pregnancy but I would wake up starving and having cookies/ fruit to calm me down was the best. The best snacks for the heat are nuts, cookies, and dates. I had a bunch of green bananas that browned in a few hours in the desert, hours....

 Don’t push yourself too hard

 I ended up pushing myself pretty hard with all the walking the first few days (11+ miles) and I started to get pain in my uterus area. Then I got a cold right before our road trip to the south of morocco. I went on a little hike but being extremely sick and pregnant didn’t help. We went later to Marrakech and I walked even more in the heat. Thankfully my hotel was wonderful and my stay there was the best. I took a day to rest up and left out seeing much of Marrakech to stay and rest but my health and the baby is first. 

 Do not go into pools/ hammams/ bath houses that look dirty

 I went to a hot spring that was extremely dirty and gross. Also I didn’t get in because that water was too hot but also think twice to not risk any vaginal infection it’s best to skip that. While there some women were advising me to not be in there because of the baby and my doctor also told me no but it wasn’t that hot for me. Also in my moms country they rinse people with COLD almost ice water so I got cold water and rinsed. Once I started to feel like it was enough I left. Don’t stay until you can’t. The one I went to wasn’t that hot at all since it was more like a medicinal water thing instead of an actual hammam. 

 Bring sneakers that are for walking with grip 

 Many places in morocco do not have the best side walks and especially the old towns can be slippery. So think of comfort and grip before fashion.

 Bring a belly support

 The road can get very bumpy in the car and it made my uterus HURT. Unfortunately I must have taken mine out of my luggage before I came but I know it would have been useful.

   Other tips I wish I would have known/taken:

   Be careful with medication here

  Even throat spray. I bought one and it made my heart rate go up. My husband thought it would be fine because Google says so but I never asked my doctor about it. Plus careful when buying headache medication here because it has penicillin (I’m allergic to that!). I went on to buy alcohol (scotch/whiskey mix) to gargle for my throat which made it better but either way it was a little too late and had to suffer with a stuffy nose, terrible cough, mucus in my lungs, and headache for around 5 days.

 Bring Vick’s and cough drops

 I couldn’t find Vick’s anywhere and when I wanted to buy it on Sunday everyone was closed. Strange for a Muslim country to close things on Sunday but either way that’s how it is so I never got my Vick’s. Vick’s will come in handy just in case you start getting sick it can help open your nasal way. 

 Don’t be cheap with your food

 What’s cheap to Americans isn’t the same thing as people living in Morocco. One family member tried to save us a bit of cash by taking us to a cheap breakfast place but it was 1 really bad tasting and 2 it gave everyone diarrhea. So make sure you use google or trip advisor or if you are in a area that doesn’t really have that just make sure your cups are clean and just see if the place looks dirty/flys on the food etc.

One thing I didn’t mind was honey bees all over my food. In many places you will see this. A honey bee isn’t dirty like a fly and i never got sick from them (i ate pastries/cookies that had been stood on honey bees and I was okay). If you want to stick to more fancier places it’s good too but sometimes you will get hungry on long road trips and those places are usually no where in sight for miles.

  How my trip went:

 Overall my trip has gone well so far minus getting really sick. And no I would never travel abroad for this long while pregnant. If you want to see only some of Morocco or anywhere for a short time and don’t plan on road trips I think it would be fine. Take into consideration the roads, the long hours etc if you are going to try and see the more natural parts of it too. 

 All the walking and the camel ride I had was uncomfortable for my belly as well as scary because I did not want to fall and going down the sand dunes with the camel was terrifying. I also wanted to have more fun and go up the sand dunes and take those cute pictures like some people on instagram do with their partners but I was so exhausted it was really hard to do anything. I basically crawled up with all 4 plus my husband pushing my butt to get up the dune. Then to sleep it was so hot in the rooms I slept outside on a sofa but my back was in even more pain. 

 At Askchour there are 3 waterfalls and I made it past the 2nd one and returned back to it to relax because the third one was another hour hiking. So again don’t push yourself too hard but remember you probably won’t be able to see everything you thought you would compared to if you weren’t pregnant (or sick or both). I wasn’t sick at this hike but I knew I still had to go back down and it was blazing hot. 

 I still have a few days left in Morocco (still sick) and then I will be heading to Turkey for 6 days. Remember that your partner has to be in this to the fullest and try to put on the shoes you are in. My husband was extremely helpful carrying basically all of my stuff everywhere and holding a back pack with my 40oz water and all the items I needed. He also needed to be extremely patient with me since I am holding our child! I needed constant food breaks, pee breaks, and belly massages/ back rubs. Also he had to slow down and wait for me to be able to catch up to certain areas or he would just not go if I couldn’t make it.  Your partner also has to remember that this will affect his vacation too and he has to be okay with that for it to work.