#and the lil depressive episode im in is helping nothing other than making me feel like more of a worthless fuck up

[shadzytarts]

I just saw your koi boys and I need to know everything about them immediately (totally cool if there's no story tho)

WELL THERES A LITTLE BIT OF A STORY, So my friend has this ocean au, Astro sirens are like these big fish serpent guys, Sunrise is a big sun I think he's a lil based on a lion fish, and there's Moonfall who's his brother I think they're really neat (actually I should post some of my art of them now that I think about it)

Anyways Bit bit (the sun) and Bitey (the moon) are Mini sirens, they're about 6 feet long (This is kinda long vdgshak Warning for mention of some violence but it's okay) Story wise Bit bit and Bitey are in a Qpp, they wear rings on their tails kinda like friendship bracelets

One time Bitey tried to fight a bull shark which, was not a great idea and Bit bit got injured trying to get Bitey out of that fight safely. Bitey was passed tf out and Bit bit dragged him onto shore and tries to tend to their wounds, but they're both worse for wear.

One stormy night, Moonfall comes across them (giant astro siren Moon, he's https://www.tumblr.com/crabas-lordes 's character) Bit bit's not doin great but's protective of Bitey, he can barely keep himself propped up on his arms bc he got a lil nerve damage (He just has a shaky arm now) bc of the storm Moonfall's feeling pretty soft so he decides to help them out even though Bit bit isn't very trusting of a giant predator.

So Moonfall keeps them in his under water cave home for a little while under the condition that when they're both healed up they need to leave and the next time he sees them they're a meal.

And Bit bit's like "ok", Bitey's passed out basically that whole time, he doesn't stay long after he wakes up with his messed up fin and they say their last goodbye to Moonfall After that they're taken in by Squish who's this seaslug astro siren (I'm p sure they're a sub species so they're a lil smaller than the regular astro sirens) who belongs to https://twitter.com/BShikiwara they. She's very motherly and just adopts everyone teensy Moonfall is her friend so Moonfall sees Bit bit and Bitey again like "ah- fuck its you" but he can't follow through with eating them cause Squish would kill him

So Bitey's like "oh yeah I recognize you" and just has the audacity to be like "lol you can't eat us you're emotionally attached" and they have this relationship of Bitey teasing Moonfall about that and Moonfall being like "bet" and trying to scare Bitey by dangling him over his mouth a lot Bit bit's kinda worried about Bitey but doesn't interfere much, Bitey has depressive episodes so one day he kinda tries to swim away from everyone and Bit bit's left worrying about him Moonfall follows him around noticing he's sad and bitey gets kinda "why're you here, I'm just food to you" and Moonfall's like "you cant even offer me sustenance" and's pretty persistent on keeping an eye on Bitey to keep him safe So Bitey kinda gives up tryin to get away from him and they end up having a very depressed conversation where Bitey shares his "im kinda nothing but a snack /neg" feelings and Moonfall listens ands like "I never really thought about that"

After that Bitey just generally feels comfier around Moonfall and just implicitly trusts him, and makes depressed jokes with him like "If i died would u keep my bones?" / "how would you like to eat me, I really wanna be grilled" and Moonfalls just "lol dw i'd grill u" there was an incident where Bitey was being dangled over Moonfall's mouth while they were fuckin around and he purposefully dropped in and Moonfall had a heart attack and choked him out like "don't do that again omg" I love their relationship, Bitey looks up to Moonfall and wants to be a big strong guy like him even tho that's not possible he's stuck at 6 feet long Sunrise on the other hand just sees Bit bit and Bitey as stressballs and dolls to throw around which like, Bitey's better at dealing with than Bit bit is cause Bitey will actively try to get away from him and Bit bit will just accept his fate be'in squeezed and tossed around like nothin which really hurts him He's ok Moonfall and Squish are protective of him when Sunrise gets too rough

Bit bit and Bitey wear ponchos bc Bit bit's self conscious of his shoulder scar and Bitey wears his as emotional support for him. Bitey thinks his scars are really cool They're also super food motivated, Bit bit's the more cautious one but Bitey'll just omn your whole arm on accident if you offer food

[latraviesascott]

What kind of dreams (or nightmares) do you think the Avatar characters have? Obviously Aang's got some wild ones and Sokka dreams about food eating people xD but what do you think The rest of the gaang and the Fire Nation kids dream about?

Okay so this is just my opinion but, even if Aang's dreams and nightmares in Season 3 were funny, they all came from the fear of failing that Aang had. So if the dreams/nightmares are influenced by the character's feelings/ insecurities then this is what i imagine each of them would dream about:

Katara- even though the fandom jokes about it a lot, she does mention/talk a lot about her mom in the series, and that is completely understandable considering the fact that she's dealing with that trauma since she was a kid. The North and South comics begin with Katara dreaming of her mom back in the SWT, and the dream was both happy and sad for her. She even woke up feeling nostalgic. Therefore i feel like Katara's more significant dreams consist of memories of her mom , and the good times she had in the water tribe before the Fire Nation altered that forever. Her nightmares could be heavily influenced by the amount of stress she has with being the "mom" of the group. She truly does act motherly with her friends, but it's all because she cares and she's has been doing so with Sokka since she was a kid. The idea of not being able to protect them probably haunts her dreams..

Sokka- i sometimes feel so bad for Sokka. Many people often overlook the fact that he was also a child personally affected by the war. In Season 1 we see that he feels this big responsibility to protect his tribe. After all, he is the oldest "man" left. That's a huge responsibility! He also has this need to prove himself as a warrior to Hakoda. Not only that, in the episode "Sokka's Master" we see that he also has this issue with being a non-bender in a group of powerful benders. This doesn't come from him being selfish, but he feels bad when he sees that he can't help people as much as the rest of the gaang does. So if you add that to his usual easy going, fun personality his dreams could honestly range from silly things like him being eaten by food, and him being awesome with Suki, to more serious nightmares that involve him not being/doing enough to protect those that depend on him.

Toph- out of all of the Ember Island players i feel like Toph's representation is most accurate 😭 that kid is tough as nails. The many statues she makes of herself in both Imbalance and later on in Legend of Korra make me think her dreams mostly consist of her being awesome in super badass scenarios! Or her being MELONLORD!!! Her nightmares however are the complete opposite. In "The Blind Bandit" she says she hasn't had a single friend in the 12 years of her life! like omgg bby let me give you a hug!!! And I thought it was super interesting how vulnerable she looks in the episode "The Avatar and the Firelord" when she asks if its truly possible for friendships to last more than one lifetime. She found more than friendships, she found a family with the gaang. In The Rift, her own father denied knowing her, which proves that family is not defined by blood ties. So letting go/ losing those friendships is a concept that seems to scare her. I feel like this is something she might have nightmares about.

Suki- because Suki is part of the gaang!!! She does have her own group with the Kyoshi warriors, not trying to erase that, but i consider her to be a part of the gaang too! With that being said we really do not know much about this queen, and i am so glad that she's getting her own comic! Hopefully we learn more about her! But from what we know, she began training since she was 8 years old! She is a brave warrior and a great friend. I feel like she takes her job as a Kyoshi warrior super seriously and is honored to be their fearless leader. I imagine that her happy dreams consist of her meeting Kyoshi herself. As for her nightmares, we do not get a lot of her (unfortunately) to really perceive her fears, but if Azula's taunting in "The Day of Black Sun Pt.2" are true, then Suki has been waiting on Sokka to rescue her for some time now. Seeing that time passed must have been hard for her. Her nightmares might have been influenced by her feeling abandoned, or her worry about the other Kyoshi warriors. (Also i love Azula, but Suki probably also dreamed of dragging Azula's big head on the ground.)

Zuko- omggg where do i even begin with this boy?! I feel like the Fire Nation teens are just so angsty! But when one's father burns off half of your face then that's the way it is igs. So I feel like the show was pretty in detail when it came to Zuko's character and his personality. Throughout the show, we see how he sometimes gets this flashbacks whenever he's feeling a specific way or when he's reminded of something. This was seen most in "The Beach". Despite being this angsty, emotional guy he is always remembering his early childhood very fondly despite being part of the most dysfunctional family in the Fire Nation. During his fever, we see his nightmares being this representation of the constant fight between good and evil inside him. Therefore i think this is what Zuko most likely sees when he has nightmares. (It is quite interesting how the "evil" blue dragon in his nightmare seems to represent Azula and the "good" red dragon is Iroh. That kind of made me wonder why Zuko seemed to associate the evil aspect with Azula rather than Ozai🤔). But back to the point. If the flashbacks he has are any indication, then his dreams most likely involve the good times he had with his mother and family during their vacations on ember island. (And because of his trauma, he might also relive the Agni Kai with Ozai in his nightmares.)

Azula- i could write essays on this girl. Her character is just so complex! And literally nothing in this world is gonna convince me that she didn't deserve better. Im gonna try to keep it as short as possible with her because quite honestly i could go on forever. But im having a hard time figuring out what a happy dream might be for Azula. Conquering Ba Sing Se?? Mastering Firebending at a young age?? Oh right she did do that! She wasn't like Zuko, in the way that she could look back on the past and remember it fondly. Quite the opposite actually, she refers to their beach house as "depressing". Then, later on in the bonfire, she treats everyone's emotions and confessions as a "performance". It's quite interesting to think that truly the only one who was trying to perform was her. Everyone else was very honest and open with their insecurities even if they didn't realize it. The fact that she thinks showing emotion is a performance of some sort makes it clear that everything she does is a perfectly put-together performance. Her nightmares could consist that facade falling apart, and her status as the perfect daughter being reduced to nothing along with her many achievements. The difference with Azula is that just as she became everything she dreamed of, she also ended up being everything her nightmares doomed her to be. ( I also have this hc that she dreamt of having a cat with ty lee and just living together at Ember Island after she got help and just lived their happy gay life of wtvvvv)

omggg this post is gonna be super long, but i had so much fun answering this! thank you for that! it was a nice surprise 🥰 i can do ty lee and mai later if you'd like just lmk! im just giving my thumbs a lil rest rn. hope this sorta answered the question😌

[ghoulciifer]

submission:

🐸 anon: “hii congrats on 100 followers🥺can i request a hq matchup with a boy.I’ll be anon 🐸 I go by she/her,5’5,have black straight hair,brown eyes and freckles on my nose.Im skinny,my zodiac sign is saggitarius.I get bored very easily,i love watching anime and movies my favorite genre is horror/gore but sometimes even romance😾.Im funny hehe also im the friend people come to when they need advice or just cheering up,i dont like talking about my own feelings and im not a talkative person. I dislike arrogant and loud people.And if i dont like someone they’ll get the hint lmao but if i do like someone i’ll be all over them taking care of them even tho i dont like pda.I like rock/punk music.I have a resting bitch face and look bored all the time(prolly cuz i am)i get attached to people fast and hate if they choose someone over me.Im anxious and have some sad days where i dont want to leave my bed,also struggle w a lot of insecurities.i have few friends cuz imtooshyandawkward.”

notes: 🐸 anon i’m so happy you decided to be a part of my event!! you sound like an adorable human and i really hope you like who i matched you up with! thank you for your support, and i hope you stick around for a lil’ while ❥

why i matched you:

» i really feel like your personalities would mesh well with each other. Ushijima might seem like a stoic, bored brick wall but he’s got feelings, just like you! underneath both of your uninterested facades is a caring human who wants nothing more than to help those they love most.

» your natural humor is what really draws ushi in the most, he might not laugh outwardly but know he’s grinning like an idiot on the inside (and sometimes the outside). honestly he wouldn’t even have to understand what the joke means, just the way you deliver it is enough to make him chuckle. he’s super oblivious 9 out of 10 times but when he actually does register your joke? you’ve got him hooked.

» ushi is also not a super talkative person, so i feel like you two would have lots of comfortable, relaxing dates in near complete silence. he would understand your shy/awkward nature because he’s also kinda reserved and awkward, which, much like you, it often comes off as intimidating or bored. you guys just get each other, y’know?

» not really into pda? not a problem, neither is wakatoshi. he prefers to keep those special touches and intimate moments between the two of you in private. plus, he doesn’t need to be territorial with you at all, everyone already knows you’re dating and wouldn’t dare do anything to piss ushijima off.

» ushijima would never stray from your relationship after it’s been established, he wouldn’t want to waste his or your time with something as silly as picking someone else over you. he’s a very committed partner and will do everything in his power to help you understand that he’s with YOU! no one else!

» ushijima doesn’t have a whole lot of insecurities, his time developing his skills in volleyball helping him build up enough confidence to keep his head high no matter what life throws at him. however, he knows you might not be as fortunate to have that luxury, but that’s okay! he’s gonna be there for you through every self deprecating thought, every panic attack, every depressive episode, you name it. he might be a little rusty at first but once he figures out what works best for you, he won’t leave your side until you’re smiling and telling him how much you love him.

drabble:

A shrill scream rips through the small living room of your shared apartment with Ushijima, and you instantly curl into his side as the sound rings within your eardrums. The horror movie in front of you wasn’t particularly scary, of course - it was your favorite genre. But the actress who was currently being mutilated on screen was doing a very convincing job at conveying her fear of dying, how could you not shutter in response?

Ushijima feels the hand on his waist grip the fabric of his shirt and looks down to see you tucked even further under his arm, the cutest quirk to your brow as you suck in air through your teeth. He grins at the sight.

“You okay, love?”

Your eyes stay glued to the screen as you gently tilt your head upward, eventually meeting his amused gaze with the same disturbed expression. Your bottom lip juts out into a pout when you catch the amused glint in his eye.

“I’m fine, ‘Toshi, but how the hell are you NOT creeped out? Her insides literally just got ripped out of her!”

You had a point - should anyone see this massive man smiling so softly during such a gory moment of the movie, surely they’d think he was insane. But you didn’t realize you’d captivated his attention and tore him away from the movie he, truthfully, really wasn’t all that phased by. He would much rather watch the way you wiggled under the blanket in your laps and hold on tighter to him, as if the more you clung onto him the safer you felt.

Which, of course, was true.

“You’re… precious, you know that?” The hand draped over your shoulder moves to pull you in closer as he leans over and presses a soft kiss to your temple, effectively bringing a hesitant smile to your lips. The notion was so sweet it melted your heart... but the amount of blood on screen made it hard to enjoy the moment in its full glory. As the heat rushed to your cheeks you rolled your eyes and wrapped your arms around his toned waist, nuzzling into his chest and inhaling his scent.

“Yea, yea… let’s just finish the movie, okay? You can tell me how cute I am later.”

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

[ghosty-schnibibit]

late liveblog b/c i took the time to listen to the first ep over again :P

hey travis? hey- hey travis??? three in the morning travis?????

for real tho i am extremely excited for the new ep, and finally found some time to listen to it!!! this time i won’t have to avoid tumblr for like a week lmao

i can hear the excitement in travis's voice to do the "previously on the adventure zone" message and it fills my heart with happiness

god this music is just so good

how the fuck is that right??? i've played a rouge before and she in no way had a +8 to stealth

let him have this justin

the spectral cat from last ep!

i love argo so much holy shit

that is indeed very upsetting

awww, poor bud :(

oh baby, oh fitzroy my dipshit baby

"it isssss... cat" i love him so much

... argo has never seen a cat before??? poor baby

is he legit afraid of the cat

the voice is already slipping lmao

oh that's adorable! campus kitties :D

that's not a real thing fitzroy

so like a campus card, fun! i had the same thing at tcc lol

i think so? if i remember correctly from the past ep it's shared

"gary doesn't have time for love" :'(

he saw that one post i'm dying

it sounds like trav asked them beforehand, that's a neat way to plan for interactions before they happen and i like it

the dread pirate mary berry

"crush the beef" what does that mean fitzroy

what is this voice clint, you did not have this voice last ep, you've gone from vaguely ned to vaguely merle's fake scottish accent

"this turns to ash in my mouth" i love this

thank you griffin for this in character backstory opportunity

"to be by his side... kickin'" sounds to me like everyone's argo revenge plot theories might be correct

yummy! :D

mind chefs

fitzroy my sweet dipshit

he's a sweet sweets boy c:

"he's a failure" yes and i adore him

... god this class is just me all over

riveau, cool, thank you for the spelling notes

oh dang, that's a cool mechanic, i can see this wielding some potential narrative heaviness later on

i'd say about... a minute is good

i am so nervous for argo holy shit

argo's laying it on thick enough that i genuinely cannot tell whether or not clint got a good or bad roll

that was indeed a seventeen! go clint

... argo :(((

i legit cannot tell if this is argo bluffing the prof or if this is just clint being clint b/c merle and ned both pulled the "so am i getting paid now?" bit multiple times

i trust justin to not make this audio poision

owl professor :D

the dramatic music travis holy shit

so basically the middle ages lmao

"the golden age of accounting" t r a v i s

i can hear justin nearly combusting in the bg trying not to laugh and i am right there with him, this is such good world building but holy shit travis

basically reaffirming from last ep that the entire premise of this arc is the entertainment industry in a post scarcity economy, cool cool

oh my god this is such a mood

i adore bud so much

"sweet bird in heaven" pfff

so this prof is basically capitalism personified... thanks, i hate him

bud is 18 y/o me in my required "intro to college skills" class r/n

i am dying inside, this is so close to my own high school and college experiences, i feel like screaming on bud's behalf

I'M HAVING AP CALC FLASHBACKS TRAVIS, PLEASE LET IT E N D

"and you know what? i believe in you" i don't believe in me right now trav, i'm a 22 y/o adult and i have no idea what most of these words mean

oh god i just got the mental picture of all the other people in this class watching this exchange and it brought new levels of hilarity and abject horror to the situation, jfc i am d y i n g

this owl really is a personification of capitalism, huh? grasping at straws and concocting elaborate fantasy scenarios, desperate to prove that his system works even though it necessitates loss and goes against humanity’s inherently cooperative nature

travis this has gone on for like 15 minutes real time, f r e e  m e

"why did the mind make acorn?" i have never related to a taz pc more than i have in this moment, holy shit justin

sign! me! the! fuck! up!

yes i did trav!!! i loved it and i'm loving this! i am so proud of you!!!!!

aww, poor dude :(

fun! this sounds like a really interesting idea

fitzroy continuing to be salty about his name lol

i want to see the skeletons do the charleston so bad, but more then anything i want rainier to be my girlfriend

poor argo lmao

awww, fun!

f u r b y

nice! :D

JESUS ARGO

nice rolls all around!

go bud!!! ^u^

i don't see how that would help argo???

i'm liking a lot of the skills travis is adding

yes! block for my gf mapleboy!!!

"im feeling dastardly" fitzroy baby, you're allowed to use magic, what you’re doing isn't cheating you absolute dummy

WAIT WHAT

this is badass holy shit, i love these teachers

jesus fitzroy my dude

funky twenty! nice

natural twenty! even nicer

aww, sweet sacrifice boy

fitzroy nearly killed him holy shit

festo???

oh fun! that sounds adorable!

oh god, nm, this character is so weird

jesus christ i am so creeped out

oh my god fitzroy what the fuck, you turned a woman into a fish

aww baby :(((

i am fucking depressed now holy shit

okay, i like festo now

that was a cute lil noise

awww!!! magic pet, i am so excited to see what fitz is going to pick

lil crab buddy :D

poor fitzroy holy shit

oh it's the rouge professor! 

i do not like the creepy whisper voice travis, this is legit creeping me out

i am so fucking worried for argo

who is mariah??? oooh i am so intrigued

rain and stone... this is so interesting holy shit

awwwww!!!!!

"this is nothing" pfff

my sweet boys :')

i! am! so! freaking! pumped!!!

this was another really great episode! i know we’re still in set-up territory as far as how the plot is progressing but i’m already so intrigued in the world trav has made. there’s already so much mystery and foreshadowing going on, both in regard to the world and the character’s motivations and i am here for it! 

i’m actually typing this around 5:30 am and queuing it for later so it doesn’t get buried in the tag, but i cannot wait to see all the art of this ep, especially of snippy lol. see you guys next right thursday~! ^u^

[someguy1023]

Nobody’s gonna care about this, but maybe someone will

i think it’ll help convey why im so stuck on this, and why i seem to be focusing more on Holly and, according to messages i kept getting, “white knighting” for her. I’m not gonna justify Holly’s behavior. thats not what this is about. I just want this off my chest.

(im gonna regret this)

also, just to preemptively defend myself, i know how cheesy all this is gonna sound. But its the truth.

so. i guess i should preface this by explaining when I first heard about Holly. Maybe it’ll help this make sense in context. Maybe not. I don’t know but it doesnt hurt to try.

I didn’t actually learn about Holly through the internet like i assume most others did. I actually first found her through TV. More specifically, through that Heroes of Cosplay show SciFi has produced a few years back. I enjoyed it, but found myself mainly enjoying the work Holly and Jessica did while on the show. They were my favorite team, and I always tried to watch whenever they were in an episode. After a while though, I, like a lot of others apparently, got bored and moved on, and eventually forgot about Holly.

It was a few years later that I would find her again. This time, like many others, through Grumps. More specifically, through Ross and Steam Train. I was surprised when it turns out that one of my favorite members of GG was also married to one of my favorite people on HoC. Small world. I stayed a more casual fan, watching the occasional playthrough or crafting episode on her channel. I was more of a fan of GG and Ross, so I tended to watch more of his stuff than hers, but I still made sure to keep watching her stuff. It wasn’t anything major, she just made me smile.

A few years later, it meant something more to me.

In 2016, my father died. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a big deal for something like this. It was everything leading up to his death that was the problem. I always had a very “problematic” relationship with my father. He was abusive towards me when I was younger, lashing out at me for really minor problems. (for example, one time he had lifted me up in the air by my throat and began strangling me when I was ~6. Why? Because I had used some money our neighbor gave me for cleaning up his lawn to buy a popsicle from an ice cream truck, ate half of it, then put the other half in the fridge. He found it, got mad at me, and then began to yell at me. I had a nervous tic when I was younger where I giggled uncontrollably when I was scared. Sure enough, I began to giggle and could stop it, and then he, enraged, lifted me up. I realize years later he was probably drunk, considering he smelled really weird. It isnt a good memory.) He eventually left my mom and I when I was almost 7, moving down to Alabama with this lady he met in a bar, and proceeded to do pretty much every major drug imaginable. I didn’t see/hear from him again until a few years later at his mother’s funeral. He seemed remorseful for what he did to me, and a year or two later, moved in with his cousin back in the state I was living in at the time. I began visiting him when I was 13, and he seemed to be better. He apologized to me for what he did, he tried to be a good dad, and I believed him. That was my first mistake.

Flash forward to January 3rd, 2016. I was visiting him for the weekend after staying at my cousin’s, and was sorting through my things to make sure i didnt forget anything. We had visited one of his friends to get something he borrowed (according to him) then got back to his house. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I thought he fell asleep. I noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth he was going to light before he passed out, so I went over to put it aside. I figured out he wasn’t sleeping. It turns out, he was overdosing, and what I thought was snoring was his throat closed shut and the air escaping his lungs. He was dying. I told his wife (at the time) what what happening, she called 911, and I went upstairs to hide in my bedroom. A lil while later, the ambulance came by, and the paramedics gave him whatever that stuff is they give addicts who OD. (At the time, I didnt know what was going on. He had really bad lungs, and I thought they were shutting down or something. I was told it was from him overdosing later that night.) He woke up, and they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was okay. I went back to my moms house, and stayed there. That was the last time I saw him alive

As it turns out, my dad had been using me for over 2 or 3 years. He was not only stealing money from me under the pretense of helping him with driving for over an hour to pick up/drop me off from my moms place to visit, but had also been heavily manipulating me for years in order to control me. He had tried to turn me against my mother and her side of the family, claiming she had used me to verbally abuse and control him when they were married, telling me lies in order to keep me under his thumb. (like how she threatened to abort me if he didnt marry her after knocking her up, or how she had him steal from his sister during her wedding, etc.) I began to despise my mother, arguing with her constantly, and, on his insistence, never told her anything about what he was doing or what he told me. It wasnt until after that day that I learned it was all lies.

I was devastated. I felt hurt, used, and betrayed. (I realize now...its because I actually was.) I was a wreck. It didnt help that 4 months later...he died. Needless to say, it was a very, very tough grieving period. I locked myself away in my room, unable to summon the energy to even get up in the morning. I had suffered from mild depression prior to this, but it was much worse. I couldn’t find a way to get through this, suffering for months, and eventually, began to think about suicide.

Thats where Holly came back in.

Besided the playthroughs helping cheer me up a lil whenever I put them on, it was her advice that really began my path to healing. Her kind words and support to others began to help me sort through the baggage I had been dealing with about my dad. I began to follow her advice on how to deal with my depression, and began to slowly ull myself back from the edge, and, over time, began to pull myself back up. Eventually, with her help, I began to attend regular therapy sessions, and managed to fully come to terms with what my father had done to me, as well as properly manage both my depression and anxiety problems. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for Holly. She helped keep me going when I really needed it. She, for lack of a better expression, helped save my life. I’ll always be grateful to her for that...despite all of this. Ever since then, whenever I felt my depression weighing me down, or felt my anxiety creep back up on me, I could rely on her to help keep me grounded.

When all this happened, I couldnt help but notice I felt the same way as I did all those years ago. Despite the fact that its just some random lady on the internet, and shouldnt have mattered as much as it did...it still hurt on a personal level. The worst part of this whole thing? I can’t go back to the thing that helped me out whenever I felt this way. Not without being reminded everywhere I go of how everyone thinks of her.

So...maybe thats why I’m doing all this. Not just to stop people from spreading hate and rumors based on speculation...but because part of me cant/doesnt want to believe one of the people I relied on and put trust in could be the bad guy. Because part of me just refuses to let go or lose someone who meant so much to me. Because part of me wants to believe that things will get better...even if I know they wont.

If you read through this, thank you. Maybe someone out there feels the same way I do. Maybe, if they dont, someone can understand. Its been a rough month for me. I just hope things will look up somehow. I dont know if I’m gonna come back to this. Im realizing it probably isnt healthy. The only thing I have left to say, then, if I dont come back; please, try to spread good. I know this is the internet, and even worse, tumblr...but i think people need some light nowadays. and constantly spreading hate and cruelty...that wont help anyone. I know nothing i say matters, that nothing i’ve done has changed any minds. but even if you cant trust Holly anymore, or dont believe anything she says...at least believe in one of her beliefs. That kindness is the greatest thing to spread to others, and the world can sure use a lot more of it.

Good night.

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

SPOP Season 4 notes

Spoilers obvi

Gonna be a bit different from my s3 notes, as I’m p much just gonna liveblog stuff here- Since I dont wanna spoil my friends... Rip 😔

Ep 1:

Mom: Icecream cake :-D me, sobbing: Mom I love you

Every time my mom does something I cry. I love and miss her sm

YALL JUST HURTIN PERFUMA LIKE THIS-

WHY CAN THE SWORD BE A MOP-

Ya know I always thought Hordaks red teeth were fuckin weird af

GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA

GO GET MY GIRLFRIEND YOU UGLY KITTY

EMILYYYYYYYYY AWAAAA

They really out here just reusing the princess prom outfits huh?

Really though I swear if Entrapta doesnt come back I’ll scream. You cant just trade in my beautiful amasing gf for me. I know I’m great but I swear.

Rip Auntie Angella.... 😔

I wasn’t even there for the corrination- I kinda feel bad for that but... I was alittle busy... With somethin- Hell if I know what.

HELL YEAH QUEEN GLIMMERRR

Oh hot diggity Catra-

Look I may not like her but I can really respect her tactics....

EP 2:

Okay what does Perfuma have against the crimson wastes- Hopefully its (Rightful) fear!

Oh nooo the gooooo

One does not simply call Adora soft

Aweeee Perfuma and Bow bonding...

Perfuma is cacti-phobic hahahaha

O.O Wheres the ship

Huntara eats sand and theres nothing you can do about it.

OOOO NEW TOWN NEW TOWN NEW TOWN

MEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

AH YES MY FIRST WORDS ARE BEING SCORPIA AND FLIRTING WITH CATRA. HOW FITTING.

God im so dramatic I love it

Perfuma Im so proud of you bb

Hot take? Perfuma x Huntara

AWEEE IM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY

Honestly being Catra was always fun

Ep 3:

Pajamas Catra? Catra without her headband? Wild shit. Wild shit.

She cute tho ngl

Oh hecc its time to fuck with the rebels-

I s2g its rly lookin like my tl may just be flip flopped on which side I helped- Idk... its only ep 3 jfkbgf

Wittle moth society... so cute...

Flutterina... Adorable

SHE RA CAKE

The moth town leader is adorable. Precious old lady. I love her. her design is amazing. 10/10 I love her

Wait what-

Ohhhh my god what happened-

Catra if you dont start appreciating Scorpia right this second I swear to god I will appreciate her myself.

Flutterina is so precious. All her fangirling...

Are we gonna explorer the whole.. reaction catra has every time someone mentions the Portal??

MAGICAL SACRED BOND TIME

FLUTTERINA IS A PRECIOUS BABY AND I LOVE HERRR

SCORPIAAAA SIS GET OVER HERE LEMME HUG UUUU

Oh....

OH

O H

OKAY

I AM ON BOARD WITH THIS

Ep.4

Spinerella and nettossa are precious 100%

Okay but I’m right. tiny cute and pink. I didnt even catch it. I done fooled myself.

Am cutie

GRANDMAS BA C K BOIISSSSS

god I love shadow weaver. I miss her sm

B O BB N O

OKAY SPOT ON BO IMPRESSION!

IM SO CUUUTTTEEE

Yaaayyyyy Catras having fun!

WEAVER LIKES DAISIES. PRECIOUS. AWA. GWANDMAAAA

She makes great bait and u know it.

Oh no are the gfs fighting-

Catra legit thought glimmer was me I love this-

CATRA WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT GLITTER TASTES LIKE-

..... Okay literally as I type thet I get mems of her eating glitter okay cool

Ohhh That was cool-

Hey Catra dont hide your grateful attitude you dick

God I love these girlfriends

LET WEAVER BE GOOD ADORA

This is cute

Ep 5

Kyle you precious little boy

Oh are they finally gonna develop these three?

Ditzy light hope is cute light hope

SHES ALL SMILEYYYY

I love Kyle launie and roheleo... Precious

“I made a crystal :-D”

“I know what will help!” “no dont-”

Kyle I love you

“Oh trust me the information is never gonna load for you.”

Lookit these... three siblings.... Blessed babes

COMPUTER MOM HAS EMOTIONS

AWA

KYLE BABY NOOO

HARD SQUINTING AT LIGHT HOPE

EP 6

Oh boi Scoria episode here we go

God I love that she kept Emily....

Scorpia is too bright and cheery for the hoarde. Redeem her damnit

Hecc I hate that Im being so mean to the best friend squad but oooog its so fun to watch

Emily’s personality is so cuuuteee -w-

Emily scared of Catra.. precious

SCORPIA YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER-

I wanna hug her so bad

Hehehehehehe >:)

Damnit Bo, ruining my work-

CRYING

Scorpias entrapta impression tho

SCORPIA YOU TOUCH THAT GARNET GOD DAMNIT

Im gonna cry, emilys recordings....

GOD I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND-

..... Whats goin on with the Garnet...

LET GLIMMER BE DARK

THE GREATEST HUGS, SCORPIA. GREATEST HUGS

Emily youre so smart.

SCORPIA FINALLY KNOWIN SHES WORTH BETTER HELL YEAH YOU GO SISTER

Catra rly needs a hug tbh

OHHHH HELL YESSSSSS

God I wanna know more about the scorpion kingdom....

Ep 7

Mermista you are too happy when holding everyone in a room against their will

OH OKAY THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY

SPOILERS MERMISTA

Ohhh hohoho I am lovin this story~

Shadow weaver bein an embarassing mom to Adora, adorable

Adora was absolutely suspicious of Weaver in my tl 100% Sure I made her more trusted, but Adora is stubborn

BFDJKGBFJKD ENTRAPTAS HELPERS ARE IN THE CASTLE

Ooooooo This is a great ep...

Ohh Im having fun arent I~

Ohhhhhhh Shiiiiiiiiiiit Rip selenious

Ep8

I hope yallre keepin an eye on me, Or I’ll get out >:-)

Awee depressed baby :-(

SHANTYYYY

OH THIS IS PRECIOUS

Seahawk this is a terrible idea....

This better be a musical episode

BDHJFBD WRONG KIDNAPPERS

I love depressed mermista

Return of the she-mop!

Oooo seahawk past....

Awee Catra misses Scorpia

And is finally realizin shes gone

O u c h poor Seahawk

OW GLIMMER

HELL YEAH MERMISTA

“A SEAGULL TOLD ME!”

Oooo Catra, a natural born killer~

I love bein able to finally see Octavia in action

Low key musical Ep, hell yesssss

I already shipped mermista and seahawk but this ep... Is just makin me ship it more....

SCORPIA HAS MOMS

The fact that it took this long for Catra to finally go to scorpias room and check on her

How the fuck do the boats work

Ep 9

OHHHHH Razz gets the sheras mixed up thats honestly so cute-

Razz... I lov u

I love her refrences to the old charas

Razzzz awe precious.. The first time...

Oooo I love seein Mara

AWEE LIGHT HOPE SOFT FOR MARA

Good I feel bad for Razz tbh??? hoppin back and forth between Sheras

MARAS TRANSFORMATIONNNNN

God she looks so much better than Adora holy fuck

NOOO RAZZ DONT CRYYY

HOLY FUCKING SH I WHAT THE F U CFDHFDJBKJGBSKED

Hot fucking damn I didnt expect this what the sh iiiiiii

I STILL WANNA HUG RAZZ-

Ep 10

DAMN IM SO COLD XD

That fuckin POOF

PLEAAASSEE LET ME AND WEAVER BOND PLZ I WANT MY GRANDMAAAAA

Let Frosta nap 2020

SCORPIAAAA

DONT SNEAK UP BEHIND SCORPIA

Daaaamn Catra... Go take a nap hun, you look terrible

Oh sweetie.....

Glimmer please you didn’t see what they saw.

Aaaannnnd Okay the queenliness is goin to her head cool

SCORPIA BABYYYY

Caaaatttrrraaaaa

LOOPY LOOP BETRAYAL

God I love them learning the ship

FBHJSDBFSJHVFD OH MY GOD FAKE TEARS

SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD OF HERRR

Ep11

Eeeeee I hope they find my blessed gorl.....

Whats swifty hearin..

OH SHIT SHERA DOESNT WORK-

I cant believe the first ones just have a fucking dump

MICHA MICHAM ICHA ITS MY UCLE I KNOW IT

HELL YEAH BAEBEEEEEE

I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

Sweet my uncles just a lil crazy haha

MICHA I LOV YOU

Awaaaaaa

Glimmer loses one parent and gains the other. Girl only gets one parent at a time. Hahahaha

The world has to nerf her lmao

Hell yeah hes cool!

Okay cool proof that Lighthope just wants to activate the weapon

Guys just tell him she’s a teenager omfg

Hoooooly hecc

NOOOOOOOO aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

SHE RAAAAA

MY WIIIFFFEEEE

AAAAAAAA

YAASSSS

EEEEE

Ohhhh Scorpia is the key.....

Interesting.......

Ep 12

EVEN WEAVER IS CONFUSED

You bet you ass Ive escaped bitches >:)

-cries- I’ve missed my wife

Awaaa she never changes!

Someone hug Catra I s2g

DT nooooooo

SHE SHOWS NO CONNECTION BECAUSE YOU TOOK IT WEAVER-

I adore Weaver in this season- Who am I kidding, I adore Weaver in every season

THe hoarde is led by two kids who just need some tender love and care

God Ive missed her...

SWEETIE WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY ALL THE TIME- AAA I LOVE YOU

squinty

Uhhhggggg I now hate that I remember having a runestone of my own

Tho I DO wanna know what kinda powers Scorpia will get....

Sweetie no non onononononononononononononoono

BABY NOOO NO NO O NONONONONONONONONONO

IM GONNA CRY SHE BETTER BE OKAY-

YESS BABY

AWAAA ENTRAPTA I LOVE YOUUUU

bdhsvfbjskbfd I can only do her hair bjkvfdbgfkd

OWO IM SO SMART YET SO DUMB

HORDAK TEARS?!

Hehehehehe YES I HELPED GLIMMER

Ep 13

Nobodies followin Catra anymore lmao

Ohhhh shit Catras gonna d i e

Rip in pieces Hordak

Ohhh shiiiiiiii

SEAHAWK LIL HEART EYES

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I love callin Catra out ohhhh my g o d

OOoooooo Lightning!

I gotta question that rn Glimmer...

Damnit Hordak aint dead...

Ohhh hecc hecc hecc hecc

OH SHIT THE SWORD-

Ya rly just teleport a whole room like that-

I like horde prime-

His eyes are cool and his palette is so much nicer aaaa

Fffffuck

Fave season so far

And not just cause I’m finally in it xD

Expect more posts when the mems really start pouring... Gotta figure out how all this changed in my TL since it DEFINITELY wasn’t just like this-

[gaarfielf]

k im gonna throw in my hot take on part 5 now i think the time has come where i’ve watched enough of the damn series i can make a coherent essay on whats what on what (putting it under a read more bc this shit is gonna be long and i dont want my followers to suffer too much)

I’ll do this character by character starting with the new ones

Ami: I’m having a hard time deciphering whether she’s being underutilized or over utilized because number 1) her character isn’t interesting enough to have her keep coming around, especially when her only connection to the group is Lupin. She hasn’t had any interaction with Goemon or Jigen that i know of and she hates Fujiko for ??? reasons. That being said, I would’ve preferred if she was fleshed out more because 2) literally having her be the distant girl that is quiet and doesn’t understand social norms is..... really boring. It’s almost as boring as having a female character whose only there as a set of boobs... (coughs). She isn’t interesting because they didn’t make her interesting, yeah? It’s hard to hate a character based on the fact alone they were clearly written by a man but I mean it very literally when I say she could’ve been something great. Having her confess her love to Lupin was straight up disgusting and I really expected more from tms in that vein. Putting romance where romance doesn’t need to be is bad enough let alone when you jack knife it in between a child and an adult. And for those of you saying ‘Oh hhhh she’s like nineteen’....look into your heart. Even if she is 1) she sure as hell doesn’t look it and 2) Lupin is like 40-50. In the wise words of me, children loving adults was a myth made up by pedophiles in support of the devil. Npot to mention pitting her against Fujiko because they both like Lupin?? I ain’t even gotta explain why that’s a pathetic excuse at writing. But I will. Fujiko is a grown ass woman so why the fuck would she care and Ami is a child who shouldn’t be in love with him anyway. She has truly been nothing in the series except a tool and even at that not a likable one.

Yata: Do I even have to say that I can’t write anything about a man who hasn’t had more than 4 minutes of screen time in the last 24 episodes? He was hyped up before the series started and he’s done nothing but be Zenigata’s personality in the place of Zenigata y’know. Actually speaking and having one for himself BUT WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. He’s done nothing but yell and cry over literally nothing? Like he fights Zeni’s fights because for some reason Zenigata got super lazy this season (again, we’ll get into that later) and he’s just a pointless character.

Albert: Gay rep for life haha just kidding he was bad at that too. I think they literally introduced him as faux-gay rep because they know the fans wanted more sensitive interactions from their already existing male cast members and they were like ‘well that’s gay so we’ll give them this guy’. And speaking on behalf of myself - ‘I don’t want these’. So Albert shows up, supposedly having a HUGE connection to Lupin’s past and then............we never see him again. And they literally tell us nothing about him except he’s gay and works in the government. Apparently when we say ‘we want gay rep’ they hear ‘very minor gay character??’ and didn’t hear us say ‘no’ back. And every time I hear anyone say 1) ‘well, his connection to Lupin is supposed to be a mystery!’ I can feel hives growing on my skin because i’m allergic to bullshit like if they weren’t gonna tell us the connection, and whatever the connection is didn’t reveal anything new about the character outside of ‘Lupin knew somebody that wasn’t Jigen when he was younger’ then why?? mention it?? why make an entire arc dedicated to not telling us something if the end result was ‘it doesn’t matter who he is’? 2) ‘well they’re obviously cousins’ except they obviously aren’t. if they obviously were, they’d say that they were cousins. like if y’all are digging up bits of the manga from 40 years ago to say ‘there was a character who had the same last name’ but are also out here saying ‘Jigen doesnt have a sister bc they said that over 40 yers ago and haven’t mentioned it since’ then I ain’t got nothing to say to y’all, you’re just dodgy and ain’t worth the stress of talking to. 3) ‘they’re maybe gay’ well the cool thing about gay rep is that we don’t give honourary mentions out for series that were too cowardly to actually come right out and say it. So in conclusion, Albert was written by cowards who couldn’t decide what to do with him.

Enzo: Boring. That’s literally all I have to say. Trying to give him depth by making Ami his daughter was predictable and not at all interesting. To be honest I completely forgot she was looking for her dad anyway because she didn’t seem to care that much about finding him either (or seem to care about anythign really). He’s a shitty villain and every time he speaks I got my finger on the right-key because I don’t care what he has to say and so far I haven’t missed anything good so yeah. Just disappointing.

I think that’s it??? For new characters?? So I’ll move onto the main cast

Jigen: I 👏 WANT 👏 JIGEN 👏 TO 👏 DO 👏 SOMETHING like good fucking God the man hasn’t done anything this whole series up until 24 where he got  5 minute scene dedicated to him killin’ cops (direct action) but like?? As a character he hasn’t progressed he has BARELY spoken and we’ve learned one new thing about him the whole series in the episode where he meets the daughter of a woman he used to work with. And that one thing that we learned was: he used to work with the mother of this girl. That’s it. Episode 24 he got a little bit of dialog with Lupin that I guess was supposed to be like character development but it was so weird because it was kind of directed at the audience?? So it’s like is he talking to me or to Jigen because if I was Jigen I would not have one goddamn clue what he was talking about. Also, he’s so depressing this season?? Right up until now we’ve seen very little personality from him aside from Angry and Complains a Lot. He smiles sometimes sure but like he doesn’t exactly have a lot to smile about this season considering he’s not really in the limelight anymore and is only brought back to foreshadow how much he hates technology and wants to retire. Personally, Jigen is one of my favourite characters and the fact he hasn’t achieved much this series is a big let-down

Goemon: I can’t even imagine how let down Goemon fans feel because again, up until Episode 23 he did nothing. He had an episode where he fell in love?? With a girl?? Disguised as a woman?? For some reason?? It was in one of the throwbacks and I’ll admit that maybe the episode made sense and I probably missed something but to me I had no clue what was going on. ANYWAY like his big scene in the spotlight is 3 episodes before the end of the series (its not like he’s a main character or anything) and he cuts Lupin. Because he thinks that he isn’t really his friend. That’s it that’s the only reason he almost murders his friend. Just kidding the other reason was that it was a half ass attempt at shock value to make sure the audience was still paying attention. They can’t seem to decide this season whether they want Goemon to be edgy or stupid but I think we’ve gotten a greta big helping of both so thanks tms /sarcasm/. They’ve really just dragged his character through the mud this season because he used to be stoic, mysterious, traditionalist but lowkey clumsy guy and then now he’s. I don’t even know how to describe it he’s just become so cutesy and edgy at the same time so we get him cutting Lupin in half right in front of UwU i eat my fish skin first ! I’m quirky ! like what am I supposed to feel about this grown man? He’s really too back-and-forth for me this season

Fujiko: I’M GONNA GET HEATED ABOUT THIS ONE SO BUCKLE UP I’ve never seen Fujiko written this poorly since TWCFM (yes i’m outting that as a bad series too so don’t @ me about that lil tidbit). She’s there as a piece of eyecandy bUT SHE IS SO POORLY DRAWN IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ANYBODY AT TMS HAS EVER SEEN A WOMAN IN THEIR LIFE TIME. Seriously her proportions are so off and outwardly repulsive looking it makes it hard not to skip anything she says in the series on account of how half-ass her character looks. Not limiting herself to being visually repulsive, she also has a half-ass personality. Suddenly Fujiko isn’t the come-and-go as she pleases, mysterious woman that gives Lupin intel on very high security operations she’s just. There. At some point in the series she said ‘a woman’s body is just a tool to get something she needs’ and I wanted to puke this is NOT Fujiko’s character at all and I’m disgusted that they’re brushing her off as a pair of walking talking boobs. Also her absolute lack of empathy is just mind numbing because they’re somehow trying to convince the audience that Lupin broke her heart due to wedding related reasons that still haunt her but? Seeing him cut almost in half does nothing for her? And then she deadpan ‘This is just how it is’ like this is just putting her in such an evil light that I hate because I love Fujiko! In every other season she’s fighty and sarcastic and witty AND NOT JUST THERE FOR EYE CANDY. And going back to the wedding thing, why is this being made into such a big deal? There’s literal episodes in other seasons called ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Look Right in a Wedding Dress’ ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Want to Be Married’ ‘A Ring Is Like a Trap’ like she 👏 don’t 👏 want 👏 to 👏 be 👏 married 👏. And the preview for the next ep shows her in a wedding dress so I’m ultimately preparing myself for the big season finale being them getting married.

hurray.

Final thought on Fujiko being, the episode where she picks up Lupin to save him from succumbing to his crossbow wound (easily the funniest thing thats happened all season) I mean. Yeah it’s kinda cool. I don’t really have any strong feelings about that like I’m not about to praise them for something like that when it was immediately followed by her and Ami slap fighting over him again.

Lupin: In my days of watching Lupin movies/specials my slogan was ‘if the ratio of screen time in the movie between characters is 10:0 in Lupin’s favour then it ain’t a good movie’ and it’s ringing true to this season where it’s all about Lupin. I understand obviously it’s a series called Lupin III like I’m not stupid but the amount of ass kissing to his character is something else like they’re putting him on this huge pedestal like he’s a do-no-wrong kind of guy to the point where he’s boring because he’s done nothing wrong. Ever. He doesn’t argue with anybody he doesn’t have any strong emotions really (outside of that episode where Zenigata loses his memory we see him outwardly angry for a minute). It just makes him such a dry character when they try to mold him into being absolutely flawless and admirable. Also the amount of faking his own death and ‘oh no is he gonna die’ moments are just not entertaining. Like I said earlier when he got shot with the crossbow that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long long time. It played like an SNL skit (you know what one). And again we aren’t learning anything new. Whose Albert to him!? We never got to know, What’s his relationship to Fujiko!? We’re probably gonna find out they’re getting married last episode after all the touching moments they had together this season like.... like uh.... when they uh... oh right they’ve barely spoken to each other all season. And when they did they were arguing. Love is in the air huh?

Zenigata: AI’ll try to keep this brief but Yata’s taken over his character this season. He’s barely spoken, he has like, NO energy or determination. After the episode where Lupin faked his death (the first time, not the proceeding 90 times) Zenigata just stopped appearing and stopped doing anything productive. If anything his character became an excuse for an info dump. Like oh we see a war torn area whats going on? Zenigata is conveniently nearby to say ‘these people are at war!’ and then outside character will tell a 18 paragraph history on him of whose at war and their history and then Zenigata says ‘okay’ and doesn’t appear again for the next 2 episodes.

Now for the closing thoughts I guess

i don’t know why they’re looking at Lupin having plot as separate from Lupin being episodic. Like they’ve separated him from adventure so he’s just doing the same things over and over again. Not to mention like I said earlier, the fans wanted to see more sensitive interactions between the already existing characters, and if anything, they’re farther apart and just really confusing and contradictory. It’s hard to get through an episode when every week its another ‘great time for another plot arc they’re never gonna finish’. When I watched episodes of Part 1 and 2 and 4 (not so much 3 because i can’t find anywhere to watch it lol) I’m pretty attentive all the way through because the series drops tidbits of information about the characters and they make the episode enjoyable to watch. This season is so dreary and dry I can’t find anything to enjoy about it because it’s just one disappointment after another. I’m trying to to sound bitchy as I type all this out but I mean I’m speaking as a fan who is just really disappointed. I know I’ve said ‘disappointed’ a lot in this whole thing but there isn’t another word to describe it because that’s really the way that I feel about part 5. Seeing my favourite characters on screen is supposed to make me feel happy and excited to see where they’re gonna go and what they’re gonna do not make me think “I hope they don’t ruin this character for me’ in every. single. episode. This season has been underwhelming, unenjoyable, inconsistent and just really exhausting to me overall.

i gotta go eat now so peace out and if you read to the end of all this then hopefully i’m not the only one in this boat but if you don’t agree with me then i guess thats just how it is yeah?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the callbacks were cool at first but now I just find they’re baiting me into thinking i’ll enjoy the episode because i’ll find something I liked from one of the better seasons in it. They’re just really overused at this point because these callbacks aren’t being used for anything. like ‘lupin is making his plan at the cagliostro castle!’ like. why. ‘detective melon is also angry at lupin!’ but if she isn’t like teaming up with zenigata or actually doing anything to find him why should i care. 

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE ELEVEN: “MAYBE IM PARANOID OR MAYBE IM ABOUT TO GET CLAPPED” - LUKAS

This game is genuinely getting to me. With all the world going mad and panic’d, my schedule and thoughts has been all over the place. I’ve come to realize that a lot of the people in the game require actual effort to talk to because in games, you kind of have to be ON all the time in order to get your point across, be nice, or to avoid slipping up. But it’s getting overrated for me. I’m an introvert and at the moment, talking to these people requires too much of my energy when all I really want to do is cuddle with my boyfriend or hang out with friends I may never see again because they might leave my college campus at any moment. Since my college is completely virtual for the rest of the semester, I may graduate before saying goodbye to some people I truly care about. It’s all very surreal and depressing. I no longer really care to hear about what Sharifa’s doing when I know she’s just plotting stuff with other people while I’m talking to her. Why waste my breath? I could just sit and do nothing and not worry about this considering I’m not getting anything real out of it. I’ve had fun for a bit but now it’s overwhelming. One of my biggest outlets just left the game because there’s some people who are too content with just allowing a CLEAR trio of people with 2 idols stay in the game unchallenged. Yet, I can’t even do anything about it myself. I don’t have the numbers and I already fucked up by trying to make amends with Jake in the first place. Which is what gave that trio another idol. Oops. The worst part about it is that I’ve genuinely tried to be a good ally to those who I’ve felt have been good allies to me. I was fully on board to take out Sharifa and fucked my own game to tell Lukas the truth. Now, any time I talk to him, I feel like I’m talking to someone completely different. Like talking to a person who could go crazy at any point. The week after, I tried SHEEPING an alliance that I knew had too much power but wasn’t going to do anything about because I figured I needed their safety. But while I was doing that, they decided to fuck me over last second and try to completely vote me out. Why? Cause they were paranoid because I was being loyal. This week, I considered taking out Kurt but realized it wouldn’t happen. Yet, since the damage has been done by everyone already, why wouldn’t they take out my closest ally? Why give a fuck about me when they can just do whatever they want anyways? No reason to. They can just do and say whatever and have fun doing it. Now, I get to decide if this challenge is worth me trying to win or not. If I win, they can target someone else. Someone they all just talked about votes with. If I lose, they can vote me and I don’t have to deal with their bs anymore. It’s kind of a win-win not gonna lie. But if I win the challenge and STILL nothing happens, I’m just gonna be straight up annoyed. I’ll be frustrated and care even less about what happens which is wild considering all that I just wrote. But realistically, the vote would probably just go to Sarah or Ned anyways. Take out an inac or someone who might have an idol/power. Compared to the wild card Lukas who is following them or the overly nice person they shit on all the time (in Malik). So meh. We’ll see how much time I want to waste tomorrow but rn I’m not feeling it that much. 

I won immunity holy FUCK. 940583 people tied, again, but I won the tie breaker, again. Lukas is going around calling me a comp threat sldkfjs SIS I WON A STAY UP ALL NIGHT CHALLENGE, A “HEY WHAT’S YOUR COLOR” CHALLENGE, A GUESS A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 4 CHALLENGE, AND A FILM A VIDEO OF YOU EATING WHILE YOU TALK CHALLENGE LKAJDSFLKSJDLFKJ ITS NOT THAT DEEP!!! Stephanie voice: You want to call me a threat? I’ll show you how threatening I am. I’ve been cooking up a lil plan for tribal and the best part about it, no one knows I’m at the center of it. Operation backstab Jake is commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2…. Everyone is scared about Jake, Kurt and I being a trio and they want to split us up. Why is everyone scared you ask? Because Jake fucked us over by spilling our tea to Nicklas and not disclosing that relationship to us. It’s just funny because I remember how mad Jake got at me, when I let him know I was pissed. Jake spilling the alliance to Nicklas and telling him I was going after Sarah, is the whole ENTIRE reason why I almost went home at top 11. It’s the whole ass reason why Nicklas had enough information to expose me. It has been a wrench in my plans since the merge. What Nicklas wasn’t prepared for is the fact that I can adapt to whatever situation that is thrown at me, and I’ve been able to shift gears, adjust, and keep on driving down the highway. Part of that adjusting though is getting rid of the target on my back from this trio. Winning this immunity was high key crucial. By me being immune, and Kurt having the social game he has, the only member of the Gross Sisters that people can get the votes on is Jake. The smartest thing for the The Butterflies to do was to plant the seeds and reap the harvest. Just nudge nudge Malik/Lukas/Sarah to something they already want to do, just don’t realize they would have the votes for. Oh just in case if I haven’t updated, The Butterflies consists of Ned, Kurt and myself, named because when I told Ned to be smooth with his game play, he responded “I’ll be as smooth as a butterfly” FLSKDJ got to love the straights <3. Ned and Kurt have a tendency to overthink, they’re really nervous about the execution of the move, and I am to. Because Jake has an idol, and he has enough info to blow up all our games. Voting him out is like trying to deactivate a bomb. One cut of the wrong wire and BOOOOOOOM, we’re dead. Because of that we have to make sure that this doesn't get back to Nicklas. To help stall, I’m telling literally everyone I can get my hands on that I want to vote Nicklas out. That bridge is already burned so might as well keep lighting it on fire hehe. If the destraction vote is Nicklas, than that can hopefully justify my shady behavior to Nicklas and Jake. Hell, maybe Jake would play the idol on Nicklas, which would be beautiful. The thing I’m most worried about is Malik or Lukas approaching Nicklas with the plan to vote out Jake. If they do it’s imperative I organize a split vote. 4 votes on Jake, 2 votes on Nicklas, and 2 votes on Sarah. It will suck because Jake will be left in the game with ample time to expose Ned, Kurt and I, but at least Nicklas will be gone and Jake will have lost some power. Malik and Lukas are already plotting, thinking this is their idea, and Sarah approached me acting like she talked about it with Malik and not Lukas. IM TELLING YALL SARAH AND LUKAS ARE TIGHT AKLSDJF THEY CAN TRY TO HIDE IT FROM ME BUT IM THE QUEEN OF SECRET ALLIANCES. So Sarah brought up voting out Jake and I acted all morally conflicted, said I needed the night to think about it. Sarah can be really flighty so I need her to think she’s in the driver seat. I feel awful. I'm promising an end game and everything, I even made a final 3 with her and Ned, but I need to do what I need to do, to get The Butterflies to the end. Plus I think she’s high key playing me because her and Lukas are def something. I made a deal if we did Jake this time, she HAS to use her vote steal to get out Nicklas right after. I’m pretty sure this is going to be a double tribal, and that’s when I’ve been planning to take Jake and Nicklas out in one fell swoop. This plan is so fragile, and can literally blow up at any second, but if I don’t make this move, I know Jake will not let me touch final 3. My game has always been taking people out, before they could take me out, and that’s just what I have to try to do. If this move does work, final 7 is going to be tricky tricky, if Ned, Kurt and I can make it past it, we’re almost home free, but everyone is going to want to take a shot at me if I lose immunity. Kurt and I have talked about him being the one to pull the trigger. He’s going to go around saying it’s time to take a shot at me, and we’ll see who goes with it, and who won’t. The idea is forcing Sarah into using her steal a vote to help me get out Nicklas. If it is a double tribal, everything is going to happen fast, I just need to make sure I keep myself grounded and calm. I know this jury is bitter as fuck at me right now. And as my body count gets higher and higher, so does the salt level. But even though it seems impossible, I am WINNING this game I swear to God. I have fought tooth and nail, I’ve run this season, and I will take my rightful place on the throne, with my third crown. 

So this vote will go one of two ways: 1) Jake or Sarah go home, which are both fine by me. I would die for Jake to be taken out since he’s so distant towards me, but if Sarah goes due to some shifty shit I’m fine with it. Kurt and I have been working soooo hard on getting the votes on Jake, and we think we have Malik and Ned and maybe even Sarah. But Sharifa is still on her warpath towards Nicklas and Jake wants Sarah, so who knows. 2) Either Kurt or I go home. People have been eerily quiet around me and I know that in this season, that’s a bad omen (as Matt and Dennis have proven). So maybe I’m paranoid, or maybe I’m about to get clapped. All I know is that if I survive this round and a potential live round tonight, this game will be more in my hands than it ever has been.

[swordonyx]

some thoughts on the new eps just released on the cn app!

so when rebecca said things would never go back to the way they were, she wasn’t messing around! Dewey isn’t mayor anymore and Nanefua is, lapis left earth with the whole barn so now peridot doesn’t live there anymore, pearl can’t get herself to reveal something heavy to steven (she keeps covering her mouth like in ‘i am my mom’ and ‘back to the moon’.....) and greg n the gems start to get more involved with helping heal steven’s mental anguish it seems, sadie becomes closer with the cool kids and quits her job, and connie has her hair cut short. 

all townie episodes, but surprisingly still a very emotionally-heavy bomb dealing with the aftermath of the ‘Wanted’ arc.

dewey wins: steven’s got some REAL serious self-esteem issues that just seem to get worse :( of course connie’s mad, she care’s about you and wants to help! but steven cares about her a ton too, and protects her the way he’s taught himself works best, by not caring about himself, which is super counter-productive but he’s waist-deep in trauma n copes with it in a way that’s always seemingly worked, by endangering himself in order to help his loved ones (ex.: he was constantly at risk of getting hurt emotionally/physically when trying to deal with the gems’ problems, like with mirror/ocean gem, rose’s scabbard, keystone motel, maximum capacity, sworn to the sword, etc etc). i felt genuinely pissed when mayor dewey went along with everything being steven’s fault, like no he did everything the best he could!! but at least his projecting through dewey’s speech got him to realize his kinda’ self-destructive thought process is illogical n that everyone is more than happy to help fight with him, at least a lil’ bit. i’m so sad for my boy, he needs professional help :,( also im glad he n sadie were quick to tell lars’ parents what happened to him. and i love ganga <3.

raising the barn: i totally see why lapis would want to get as far away as possible cause of the risk of there being another war, i mean the last war she was in got her imprisoned and used as an object for thousands of years n was the most traumatizing event for her. n it’s so sweet yet saddening that peridot was intent on not causing lapis anymore hurt even though that prevented her from real-talking with her. almost surprising to see how strong lapis is when she literally raised the barn from the ground, but i mean she did steal a chunk of the ocean before :\/. also, lapis n steven saying goodbye was heartrending, they’re my favorite characters n i was hoping to see more eps of them just hanging out together. i hope lapis is okay and miss her already :(

gemcation: yeeeessss, i’m glad steven’s family sees how traumatized n depressed steven is and actually go out of their way to connect with him. i love how greg, while stays away from helping steven with his gem problems since he has no experience, is way more than happy to help sort out the human-oriented problems he has, which frankly seem to be the most devastating to steven’s mental health. my boy deserves a good vacation. also the cabin’s called “cool ranch” which was rly funny. this ep felt weird to me because of how real the situation is, but i liked it because of that n because the gems and greg worked together to help steven after he’s done so much to heal their own pain. also, what was pearl gonna’ say?? was she just too terrified to speak that she clamps up her mouth? or can she literally not say it???? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY PEARL????? this is gonna knaw at the fandom for a real long time, i swear. also i hope steven’s fam keeps trying to connect with him, he still has a ton of issues that can’t just be resolved with some nice words and a starry nightsky, there needs to be a lot of deep honest convos set up between the lot of them. also kinda’ depressing how all the homeworld-induced pain doesn’t compare to pain from hurting his bff :( he’s just so used to almost getting killed (i mean he was more than happy to get himself executed) that it’s normal for him now. it’s the intimate, personal stuff he can’t bear.

back to the kindergarten: i feel ya’, peri. everyone’s depressed, my dude. n can’t help being terribly depressed after your pal n whole home are taken from you, but good thing the rest of the sad shorty squad got you! i like how amethyst is still excited knowing about the famethyst and that she wasn’t always alone. when we saw the flower, i knew it wasn’t a real flower n that nothing could grow in the kindergarten, it looked too odd and out of place. it’s very sweet that ame n steven try their best to help peridot out and all do what she likes most though! sunflowers are great! but of course, they didn’t stay :( n we got another classic peridot tantrum. easy to see why she’d act that way, i mean everything must feel so futile after trying your hardest to rebuild n find happiness after a heartbreaking event, but not getting what you hoped for. but it won’t always be that way! just because one moment things don’t go the way you want, that doesn’t mean things’ll stay dull n frustrating forever. there are always greener pastures ahead of you, literally in the case of this episode.

Sadie Killer: i love sadie so it’s also sad to see how much stress she was under, after nearly getting abducted by aliens, lars being half-dead in space, and having to work all shifts. like, damn, everyone’s suffering so much.... i love the cool kids, too, they’re so chill and nice and it’s nice to see that steven’s relaxing a lil’ this episode. not too much to say, other than i love how sweet all these kids are. i also love the whole horror aesthetic, the band’s wage-zombie song, and just how into it sadie was! i’m surprised but glad sadie quit her job, she needs to find happiness during this dark period. i hope we get to hear her sing more, she has such a nice voice! and i relate to steven, i too take too many napkins lol.

Kevin Party: I hate kevin. so. much. uughhh he’s such a creep, he made me feel gross this episode. but i guess that means he’s a very well-written villain. it’s disgustingly sad how much steven just wanted to talk to connie again and apologize to her! my boy, he kills me. and i recall a crewniverse writer saying sometimes connie and lion get along better than lion and steven do, so that must be why lion stayed with connie the whole time, they were both so done with steven’s self-martyrdom. i wanted to reach into my screen and just deck kevin for trying to make steven act like a douche during the party. i just loathe that man >:{. the parts with him n devin/dennis (i forgot his name already oops) were rly funny though. and i’m sooo glad steven and connie talked open and honestly about how they were feeling by the end!! can’t get enough of their friendship, i would’ve like died if we didn’t see them make up by the end! and connie got a haircut, i wonder why exactly she did that. maybe just because or maybe because of stress and a need for a fresh start.

[r-o-se]

BASICALLY 101 comments/thoughts/things on Produce 101 S2E2

So we are BACK TOPOFTHEMORNINGTOYALADDIES AND WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF p101 live commentary

1.      The kids are watching the last ep

2.      The first vote results, Bae Jinyoung first, Wang Minhyuk last. Poor kid. Stop naming kids Minhyuk theres 6 of them on the field already it’s like Michael in America lol

3.      Back to the evaluations

4.      Woojin goes up, Daniel is like ’He’s rly cute I hugged him already’ tbh everyone call him cute lol

5.      Does JB Baby, what a classic lol. Got a B and praised for his pronunciation

6.      Aaahahahah lmao he asked for water and has to choose between two judges. Chooses Cheetah and she looks blessed af

7.      Kid has problems with opening stickers lol

8.      YGk+ performance, everyone are shook about their legs

9.      Their performance isn’t that good though, poor dudes. One D, other three F

10.   Roll yet ANOTHER compilation of the hottest kids this season

11.   Yongbin aka the dude with a nose bridge straighter and higher than my will to live

12.   Dongsoo and Namhyung from S.How do an AMAZING self composed song, are cute and talented as fuck. Namhyung got an A and Dongsoo got a B. Cheetah loves them ME TOO ME TOO

13.   Compilation of rappers, the overall comment on teachers is ‘Cheetah is cute omg but Dunmill is scary’

14.   Editing: aw cheetah is cute now with longer hair

15.   Cheetah: does the snoop dogg dance yno the smoke weed everyday one

16.   ‘Boys are calmer’ no they are more desperate and scared of failure

17.   Jung Jungji prepared a SHITTON for EXO Growl, a bajillion vids of it. But sadly I guess his nerves got to him, he didn’t do well aaaaaaaaaaaand got an F. Stop fucking laughing at him. Most of the audience is dancing along though such an iconic song

18.   He looks dead inside but says “I’m glad because I made BoA laugh”

19.   HOTSHOT HOTSHOT HOTSHOT SUNGWOON TAEHYUN SUNGWOON TAEHYUN

20.   Do Block B Very Good, MURDER IT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, AMAZING energy, everyone love it, first and only all company A rank

21.   Who am I fooling I actually watched their performance like 4 times before this on youtube just because of how much I love it the energy is so good

22.   Taehyun’s freestyle krump was on POINT tru kid monster right there. His expressions are soooooo good

23.   Now the kids are writing their future wishes or something like that to a huge whiteboard

24.   Kim Dongbin from kiwi ent looks sooooo nervous save that kid

25.   He’s doing chewing gum and stopped in the middle for some x reason?

26.   He stopped bc one of the judges pulled out his in-ear in a weird way and he thought that meant he needs to stop

27.   HES CRYING OUT OF NERVES RESCUE THAT POOR KID OMG

28.   Everyone are cheering for him  to continue THIS IS SO SWEET AAAHHHHHH EVEN JINWOO MOVED HIS HANDS AND CLAPPED

29.   And he finished his performance w a cute smile and………. got an F

30.   ’My level should be lower than F. I’m grateful for F’

31.   FNC Hwiseung comes out DOES SHINEE REPLAY GOT MY VOTE

32.   JELLY HEESEOK DOES CHAINED UP ALSO GOT MY VOTE

33.   Judges don’t like either and say both feel rushed… Hwiseung got a D and Heeseok got an F… damn

34.   Starship Sewoon and Kwanghyun come in, everyone get hype. One of them hates dancing and individ. trainee Jaehwan went to the same school as Sewoon. They Maroon 5 Sugar, everyone loves it

35.   Sewoon plays guitar and composes, everyone STILL loves it and for a very good reason

36.   BoA: So do u wanna be an idol or a singer?

        Sewoon: CEO

37.   Starship gets a double B

38.   RYTHM TA COVER, amazing vocals, acrobatics, taekwondo (is this the K-Tiger trainee?) basically just a compilation of the coolest kids this season

39.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Jang Moonbok clip again

40.   He’s doing BTS Boy In Luv and…. It isn’t too good poor dude

41.   Seriously Mnet’s son bc his singing isn’t good yet the only reactions they are showing from crowd are the most positive ones

42.   He got an F

43.   Brand New come up, roll clip of the absolute snake team San E and Jint ent company lol kids are cute tho

44.   Do a song composed by Daehwi, choreo made by Woojin that sounds eerily like a GOT7 Hard Carry  

45.   Daehwi's vocals are good but his range isn’t too high rip. One of the kids did a bboy pose thing on one hand. Someone in the crowd dabbed

46.   Daehwi and Woojin got an A, Youngmin and Donghyun got B’s

47.   End of the evaluation, 7 A rank trainees, 17 B rank, 21 C rank, 25 D rank and 31 F rank. Last season there was like….. 20 something A rank holy shit

48.   Revealing the high pitched as hell song and the difficult ass choreo

49.   The best can go to M Countdown with it, A gets center and the ult center gets a solo part

50.   The one who has an A rank is basically a god and the one who gets the center position is literally the definition of ’what’s a god to a non-believer’

51.   They’re moving in now and get their ugly colour coded sweaters lol

52.   F rank trying to cope ’I actually rly like gray clothes… Still want pink tho’

53.   Why is korea so obsessed with ages lol

54.   Sungwoon took like an air humidifier and candles and an electric mat and whatnot lmaoooo

55.   Goblin parody ensue. Some trainee, Yoo Jinwon looks just like male Eun Tak (The female lead of goblin)

56.   Group practice is soooooo unbalanced holy SHIT

57.   The song is so high pitched they are all dying inside

58.   JINWOO IS TALKING my dude…. In F rank…. Depressing

59.   Daehwi is a sad boy bc the entire B team belted out the high notes like no joke

60.   Two dance black holes make slow mo eye contact if im not incorrect its the Cube F rank and one of the YGk+ F ones with a haircut idk how to describe.. like… its black…  sure is black

61.   Within 10 minutes A rank fucking aces the dance as a whole, sure its not perfect but it looks GREAT

62.   F is a… Mess sighs. At least that’s how they’re portrayed. In group shots at least half of the kids can do the dance just GREAT but sure obvs mnet isnt gonna show them

63.   Daehwi has problems with the high notes poor lil kid

64.   Namhyun, Sungwoo and Sungwoon have no problems hitting it though

65.   I fucking hate this system because rappers need to excel in vocals too which is fucking unfair and they just humiliated BNM Woojin who cant reach the notes and the trainer is NO FUCKING HELP and doesn’t guide him or anything just looks at him judgingly just fuck off dude seriously

66.   Sungwoo is just like Sejeong, got everyone shook during first evaluation, sings like an angel and CAN actually dance but has small problems while adapting to the choreo

67.   Now to the D group training KAHI MY MOTHER

68.   Baekho has problems concentrating to the dance and they only show him obviously thanks Mnet for nothing like he is not the type of person for p101 hes literally the furthest away from the p101 type why did pledis force them there Im so fucking angry dude

69.   Another poor black hole cutie is Cube Guanlin ugh im so sad about him DON’T CRY

70.   But others are helping him which makes me happy thank god for that

71.   C group get compared to chicks and vitamin C lol

72.   The C group vocal trainer is pretty af and everyone are in love including me

73.   ‘Age is just a number’ BOI

74.   Bae Jinyoung keeps looking at the ground SHY BOY but he also messed up his singing poor kiddo

75.   B team has the same vocal coach as A and I think D has the same dude

76.   Honestly I fucking hate that dude he’s so rude to rapper kids and doesn’t even help him and Mnet tries to play it off like ‘haha tsundere’ but no he’s just an asshole

77.   One of the rappers does adlibs lol

78.   But everyone else are just in pain I fucking hate this system so much

79.   Woojin is a small baby but sings like gold

80.   AND D TEAM HAS THE SAME ASSHOLE COACH

81.   He picks out NU’EST right away ugh but MY DUDE REN DOES SO WELL

82.   RBW GUNHEE MY B O I HOLY HELL SINGS SO WELL WHYS HE IN D even the coach said he did the best out of the grades he coaches ( A B and D)

83.   That coach is so much nicer in D

84.   I take everything back he just fucking destroyed my baby Hyungseob I’m so fucking done with everything

85.   B team dance class que

86.   Kang Daniel feels a bit full of himself but tbh he is literally perfect at everything and has the dance clean already

87.   Kim Jaehwan has problems with dance this is like with Juna last season lol

88.   JAEHWAN IS PRACTICING ALONE AS THE LAST ONE THERE POOR KID

89.   The dorm clips, everyone are practicing

90.   Aaaaaaaaand now they’re doing the reevaluation filming

91.   B grade Kim Sangbin danced really well and even sang well even though hes a rapper and then dabbed lmao hope lost

92.   MY LIL JUSTIN KIDDO IS UP but holy shit his singing is really bad I’m sad

93.   Everyone are saying they are anticipating Minhyun to move up by a rank but his clip is awful I’m so fucking sad dude I don’t have any words to express my absolute misery he looks so beaten up and other trainees are trying to console him I’m so fucking sad

94.   Now it’s Baekho’s turn, he doesn’t do too well either but it def isn’t THAT bad and mnet is just trying to make NU’EST look bad because they aren’t showing JR’s clip even though he was good enough to move up to B grade

95.   The dude with the best singing voice, Gunhee, his singing voice broke rip

96.   Moonbok’s clip wasn’t good and everyone are sad bc he practiced a lot

97.   Kwon Hyunbin from YGk+ does really shit and I feel soooooooooooo sorry because he isn’t doing good and people aren’t vvoting for him either but it just won’t come out right and im SO SORRY FOR HIM AAAAAAAGHHHHHH and like YGk+ is a modelling company so he wont debut and then theres this kid Ha Minho who I like too and his rank is like what 94 rn hes gonna fucking die. I hate this show why is it so addicting

98.   Calls to family ft. a lot of tears from everyone but Jisung’s sister has the same sense of humor as Jisung does its gr8 why isn’t he in top 11 vote for him jesus fuck

99.   Judges are gonna watch the reevaluation things now time to Get Sad Bois

100.  Daehwi and Samuel get praised and JAEHWAN MY LIL BOY FIXED HIS DANCE IM SO PROUD

101.  Oh no now theyre gonna watch Minhyuns catastrophe clip I want to fucking die

102. Kahi said that Min gets pressured when competing with other people I’m so fucking sad my boy is so stable and talented if anyone wants good NU’EST lives just fucking hit me up he is sooooo high quality stop bullying him @mnet  @pledis

103. Why do they only show bad clips I’m so sad and the trainers all laugh at them this just… it’s so ugly leave the kids alone they are under such immense pressure with such a difficult song and choreo

104. Finally they are showing the good trainees I’m so glad give them that ATTENTION and MY KID HYUNGSEOB IS THERE WITH A PEACE SIGN

105. And to end it now they’re getting the reevaluation grades and a bunch of kids are moving up I’m glad but they aren’t showing anyone’s new grades

And now, also good  screencaps that didn’t make it into the top 9, some funny, some depressing, Also I’m ready to stab anyone who came up with the goddamn food and bathroom break ration they’re doing by rank like what is this u cant dance u cant eat?? well hello there stalin 

[thedaycourts]

(completed) acowar liveblog

ACOWAR LIVE BLOG (SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY)

spoilers will be ahead... you have been warned

feel free to message me to talk about the book!

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5/1/17 11:22pm- someone help me I've literally preordered the ebook and the hardcover (which hasn't even shipped yet ugh) and I'm so prepared 

5/1/17 11:31pm- I've read the first 8 sample chapters so. many. times... i'm ready for the real thing now pls thx bye

5/2/17 12:06am- IT TOOK TILL 12:06 FOR THE EBOOK TO RELEASE OMG MIDNIGHT RELEASE MY BUTT SMH

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chapters 1-8: i kinda like jurian actually (maybe ill regret saying that idk), lucien being protective of elain is making my heart warm, tamlin makes me wanna kill someone, feyre shouldve cut ianthe’s throat tbh, the twins give out such weird vibes, AND OMG rhys and feyre sending images of themselves sticking their tongues out is my moodboard i love it so much

chapter 9: “Blood rubies or no, you will always have one friend in the Summer Court.” My throat bobbed. “And you will always have one in mine,” I promised her. She knew which court I meant. And did not look afraid. I LOVE ALIS OK SHE IS ACCEPTING AND PROTECTIVE AND AMAZING

ianthe needs to get her filthy hands off of lucien before i strangle her

LUCIEN AND FEYRE GOING TO THE NIGHT COURT TOGETHER HECK TO THE YES 

chapter 12: @luciens brothers can you go die pls ok thx bye

chapter 13: CASSIAN IS OK AND SO IS AZ ADHEIOFHJKFAJ MY LIFE IS SLOWLY PIECING ITSELF BACK TOGETHER

“i am the high lady of the night court” hECK YES YOU ARE

the tender cassian and feyre hug made me sob even more and then the mor hug hauidfghuajkshcdfa the feels

chapter 14: I AM SOBBING I AM S O B B I N G AT THIS FEYSAND REUNION HELP MY POOR BROKEN SOUL

also omg just imagine lucien watching this reunion bc i think his expression would be absolutely priceless

chapter 15: “I was in love with Feyre,” Rhys said quietly, “long before she ever returned the feeling.” whats that noise??? oh yeah its just the sound of my heart breaking no big deal

“I revealed the mating bond months later—and she gave me hell for it, don’t worry.” hA 

LUCIEN CALLING AMREN A CRANKY OLD AUNT OMG

chapter 16: poor nesta and elain omg no 

i really need to know whats going on between nesta and cassian bc theres def something there hehe

chapter 17: MOR AND CASSIAN AND STICKING THEIR TONGUES OUT TO EACH OTHER TOO NOW OMG FIRST FEYRE AND RHYS AND NOW THEM WHAT IS HAPPENING

chapter 18: “defending the female he loved”  PLS JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY @MOR @AZRIEL 

“our family” MY HEART IS MELTING HELP I JUST WANT MY BABIES TO BE HAPPY

“It was the first time you had looked … peaceful. Like you were indeed awake, alive again. I was so relieved I thought I’d puke right onto the table.” GUYS RHYS CARES SO MUCH ABOUT FEYRE LIKE PLS REALIZE HE WAS SO ECSTATIC THAT SHE LOOKED ALIVE AGAIN HE WANTED TO PUKE BC HE CARES ABOUT HER SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

“I will fight with everything I have, too, Rhys. Everything.” why do i have the feeling this is foreshadowing something that i am not going to like at all

chapter 19: “Why should I be scared of an oversized bat who likes to throw temper tantrums?” this is how true love starts out 400% you go nesta 

chapter 21: oh dang it here goes the nightmares starting up again

chapter 22: feyre sees the bone carver as their son omg what can this please happen

chapter 23: “Nothing about Nesta could frighten me.” *cue me audibly going awwwwww*

chapter 24: “She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen.” This seems to be a common way of thinking when people look at their mates hehe throwback to acotar

az is such a bean like who else is awesome enough to wait 500 years for the girl he loves 

chapter 26: AZRIEL PUTTNG HIS HAND ON TOP OR MOR’S DURING THE MEETING WITH KIER OMG WHY MUST SHE REJECT HIS TENDER HAND TOUCH

chapter 27: mor being depressed bc of what she witnessed at the meeting makes me wanna cry

omg the inner court arguing what is this

chapter 29: tbh az reminds me of myself so much and i think we have the same MBTI personality type((:

chapter 30: the heck is hybern’s little minions doing in velaris nonunion go home you aren't allowed here

chapter 32: NESTA IS A SEER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

chapter 33: “He did not glance back at Elain. Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs—as if she’d speak to him. Stop him.” elucien for rulers of the autumn court pls

chapter 34: varian warning amren??? they're friends?? so they keep in touch?? hmmmmmmm sounds suspicious(((;

chapter 36: KING OF HYBERN VS RHYS OMG WHAT AM I ABOUT TO WITNESS

oh jk he wasn't really there oops

chapter 38: I think tarquin should forgive them especially since they came to his rescue but hey thats just me

chapter 39: “And it was precisely because of it that I said, “I love you.” His head lifted, eyes churning. “There was a time when I dreamed of hearing that,” he murmured. “When I never thought I’d hear it from you.” 

nesta being worried ab cassian ahhhhhh

chapter 42: nesta being named emissary omg i love it

“And to my eternal shock, a smile tugged at Nesta’s mouth.” ahaha

GAMBLING ON THE FIGHTS AT THE MEETING AHAHA WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED AT ALL

chapter 43: this viviane girl seems cool.. i hope she doesn't end up stabbing my babies in the back:)))

ew no i was perfectly fine with having tamlin absent for the remainder of the book

same @feyre who is 500% done with tamlin and his crap 

chapter 45: NESTA STANDING UP FOR CASSIAN AND SASSING OUT BERON IS THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 

chapter 47: I'm beginning to really like helion

chapter 48: too bad i already saw spoilers so i knew helion was luciens dad smhhhhhhh

ok but like if nesta thinks something is wrong, shouldn't you have learned by now that something is usually wrong???????

wow would ya look at that...something was wrong *scowls*

chapter 52: where the frick frackle jensen ackle did jurian come from 

chapter 53: ok but i totally called jurian being good

....tamlin still being a tool i see 

chapter 55: they keep mentioning their dad so i have a feeling he's in trouble/being held captive

chapter 56: nesta helping heal cass omg yes

YES MY GIRL SURI

chapter 58: I've never wanted ianthe dead more,,,,WHO DARES SHOOT MY GIRL SURI HREIAOFHJAKEF FIGHT ME

chapter 60: i literally bawled so much when suri died omg i sounded like a dying horse

chapter 61: this episode of honestly hour features feyre and mor going head-to-head about decisions and relationships... stay tuned for the next episode

chapter 62: amren and varian kissing hm how do i feel ab this

chapter 63: ELAIN IS AN ACTUAL SUNSHINE WHO DARES TAKE HER AWAY (of course its az my little bean who notices she's gone)

also I'm betting ten bucks lucien will find her and save her (prolly not gonna happen but it would be cute if he did)

chapter 64: EW SHE HAS TO BE IANTHE WOW THATS UNFORTUNATE

rhys and feyre’s goodbyes felt more like a pep talk than a sad goodbye but thats just me

ok thanks for saving feyre @tamlin but for the record i still hate you

chapter 65: omg nesta hugging feyre and all the sisters being all nice and cuddly makes me so happy

chapter 66: the moriel shipping part of me is very sad but yunno maybe this means i can keep az for myself (or elain can have him idk which direction sarah will take this) and mor can be eternally happy((:

sooooo does this mean elain x az is now gonna happen bc like az is gonna need someone to help heal the hole in his heart and elain is such a sweetie but what about lucien????

chapter 68: but are we ever gonna know what feyre saw in the mirror?

chapter 69: tender az and elain moment omg that was so cute i love my smol beans

“I would have waited five hundred more years for you. A thousand years. And if this was all the time we were allowed to have … The wait was worth it.” AWEEE

rhys and his lil speeches to everyone dang what is this

chapter 70: “And then Nesta began screaming. Not in pain. But a name. Over and over. “CASSIAN.” IM SUCH NESSIAN TRASH IDOFHAJDKFA

chapter 71: “This was it. The last moments … the last time I would see them all.” nothings even happened yet and I'm already crying

“He told me that he’s got three daughters who live here. And that he failed them for many years. But he would not fail them this time.” well shoot i have no words rn and tbh i kinda forgot their dad existed the past few chapters

chapter 72: “She wrapped her arms tightly around Cassian, those gray-blue eyes bright, then they were gone.” THEY GIVE ME LIFEEEE YESSSS

chapter 73: OK AMREN WHAT ARE YA DOIN???

chapter 74: ....welp... bye bye mr archeron thanks for saving my babies and also wHERE THE FRICK DID YOU COME FROM?? nesta and elain and feyre being sad is making me sad

OK WHY IS CASSIANS WINGS GETTING HURT AGAIN??? i feel like this is sarah starting a new thing like “hey! lets just end every book with cassian’s wings getting ripped to shreds!!”

“I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” FRICK OMG THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE MOMENT I BECAME COMPLETE NESSIAN TRASH. AND THEN THE KISS. OH MY. I CANT. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

and elain coming to the rescue omg heck to the yes

chapter 75: nesta stabbing the king is tHE BEST. i can't just feel the pure rage and emotion radiating out of her as she twists the blade in his neck. think of the people she's doing it for. her dad, her sisters, her new family, cassian. this scene gives me so many feels

amren saying she's glad she met feyre awe

chapter 76: AHHHH RHYS IM SOBBING NO FEYRE HDAUKHJD AHHHH WHY DID RHYS DIE ON PAGE 666

chapter 77: feyre screaming for rhys nononononono i feel my soul shattering

rhys was DEAD and he comes back making a JOKE....why is this not surprising

chapter 78: lucien is back ahhhh it feels like he was gone for the whole book tbh

yes drakon and miryam hauifheajkdfhajfha

chapter 81: RHYSAND’S POV YESSSS

talking about feyre’s “beautiful laugh” ahhhhhh they're sooooo cuteeee

chapter 82: i LOVE the fact the book ended with them all peaceful. they deserve it. i love everyone. i am happy. goodbye.

[drblackgaard]

Characters to Whom I Relate

(tagged by @echoofmidnight over a year ago to do this, finally doing it, now with 100% less ending prepositions in the title)

In which Devon probably definitely massively overshares about his problems

unlike the original I’ll actually add a brief(?) explanation and not just their name and photo. one might also notice some overlap between this list and character’s I’ve cosplayed, for obvious reasons.

im tagging @messed-up-polkadots @moss-effect @duchashka @writingpikachu @tanosoka

Ryugazaki Rei (Free! Iwatobi Swim Club)

This will probably be the only long one? When I was first tagged in this post, Rei was probably the first character that came to my mind. I love all my Free boys so dearly, but Rei is my least favourite out of the Iwatobi boys, which makes it interesting that he tops this list so definitively. (This list contains lots of characters considered the “smart one” (roughly 10/13 on the list, arguably). That is not the primary reason that I picked any of them, just for reference.) When I first watched Season 1 of Free!, I was at the very beginning of my first year away from home (2nd year of post-secondary). Like Victoria and I literally started watching the show while my family was dropping me off in Vancouver. My social situation/mental health situation was really not great in high school, especially not as a combination. I felt like Rei’s struggles of s1 captured my experience bizarrely well. Not the learning to swim, but Rei was faced with this social situation where he awkwardly entered into a pre-formed social circle where he was the only one without this shared history. As time goes on, he increasingly realizes that he’s the outsider, not just in skill, but in years and years of shared experiences, and as everyone talks about their issues concerning Rin, Rei’s increasingly confronted with the fact that he doesn’t belong in this circle of friends like any of the others do. He’s an outsider looking in, always 4 steps behind what’s going on, and no one’s ever bothered to fill him in on the things that have happened. When the finale rolls around, and Rin has the chance to swim the relay with Rei’s team; the team that he’s trained with and built up all this work for, Rei makes the huge sacrifice play and sits this incredible moment out, isolating himself so that his friends can hang out with their other friend and he can watch from the sideline. This whole situation was very much like my social situation in late high school, but more depressing in general, more acquaintancey than in Free, but the finale really got to me, and I could immediately think of so many times that I’d bit the bullet and had to sit out on participating or make sacrifices that really hurt to help people spend their time with their Rin’s instead of with me, because I know that they’d much rather do that than be around me. Rei’s story was really emotional for me in s1, and I probably resented it to a degree for that, but it was nothing if not relatable. Also, Rei’s real gay. Ok, now for shorter things(?)

Nanase Haruka (Free! Iwatobi Swim Club)

There’s definitely something to be said that Haru is half of my all-time main OTP and Makoto is my #1 fictional husband and the whole thing where your ships say a lot about what you relate to/are looking for in relationships and what a big part Free! was of me coming to terms with being gay and all of this is extremely highly interconnected. The main point I want to make on this one, though, is Haru’s relationship with his talent. The very first episode opens with a monologue about how Haru wishes that people would stop putting him on a pedestal. He’s the only sports anime protagonist I’ve seen who despises competing in the sport the show’s about. [continuous grumbling about the s2 finale and haru’s arc’s ending but hey tokyo makoharu is enough for me to be happy with]. Haru is exceedingly talented at swimming, yes, but he doesn’t want to do it for a living; doesn’t want it to be about the numbers and the competition. Obviously this was much more a thing in s2. Haru’s very talented in so many other areas: all forms of art, cooking, he’s consistently in the first class of his grade throughout middle and high school. It’s clear to me in s2 that he just wants people to remember that he actually has other talents, so many other career options besides professional swimming, which is why he gets so upset when even Makoto of all people broaches swimming first as what he should be looking at for the future. I am very smart, plainly put. I hate embellishing my gifts but the point is that I’ve always been put on a pedestal for being years beyond my age in academic and emotional intelligence. After a point, you really wish that people would remember that you have any other skills or talents whatsoever. I knew that I didn’t want to build my identity on my brains, and tried to push so hard to get people to recognize more parts of who I am, but it’s still usually overshadowed by my brain. Being a Christian in a close Christian community social-wise, I’m very frequently in situations of mutual encouragement, compliments, and such, and every time that someone identifies my smarts as my peak characteristic, I die just a little bit inside. Once at a youth leader’s retreat with some of the closest friends I had (very relatively speaking), we were given someone else’s name and had to pick a single word to describe that person. I was expecting something intellectual as always, and received the word “loyalty” as a singular concept I represented to her, and I think it might still be the most lasting compliment that’s stuck in my head, now 6-ish years later. That one was also really long, but it dovetails nicely into the next one. Oh, and Haru’s also very gay, and in love with Tachibana Makoto. Very relatable.

Eugene Meltsner (Adventures in Odyssey)

Obviously I really like Adventure in Odyssey. It’s my #1 fandom, Victoria and I run a relatively popular fan podcast for it, and we just listen to it a whole lot. When people ask who my favourite AIO character is, which happens frequently, they usually assume Eugene, because he’s smart and I’m smart [which is annoying to me, re: above]. They are actually correct about the character, but wrong about the reason. The reasons Eugene’s my fave are actually mostly unrelated to why he’s included here, but the above point does connect well to Haru’s spiel. Likewise, that spiel connects well with Eugene’s insecurity regarding his mind. I said above that I try hard not to build my identity on my intellect, but obviously there are times that that effort has failed me. Coming to UBC was a big part of that. In my teeny hometown, I stood out greatly in high school. I graduated with about a 97% average, 2nd highest in my grad class, bilingual diploma, and almost double the minimum credits I needed because of all my extra-curriculars. I was fluent in 2 languages and excelled at 2 instruments. My last math teacher said I was tied for the smartest student he’d ever taught. First year of college was at home, did alright, then I came to UBC. For reference, the university has about 8 times more undergrads than the population of my hometown. I quickly realized that I was not the smart one anymore, just another one of the crowd. I made friends with people whose intelligence casually dwarfed my own by orders of magnitude. I didn’t have an existential crisis or anything, since I’d already tried to proactively guard myself against that kind of false life foundation, but insecurities are always there to creep in. I often think of Eugene in Truth, Trivia, & ‘Trina. One of Eugene’s arcs in that episode (which was obviously in many others as well), was getting over his compulsive need to prove his worth through his intelligence, of understanding he had value without needing to info dump on everyone all the time. For Eugene, it obviously had deep rooting in his relationship with Leonard and the ways that was left unresolved for Eugene after his parents’ disappearance, but that’s another dissertation for another podcast episode. The point is, while I recognized this fact in theory, I’ve always had a lot of trouble internalizing it. I know my worth comes from who I am in God, not on my own talents, but that doesn’t stop me from compulsively seeking validation through my brains or my humour or literally anything else I can possibly do to receive affirmation from others. Also Eugene loves neologisms and beautiful, convoluted sentences and I can really get behind that.

Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen)

I finally watched this musical for the first time less than a week ago and yeah, I feel like I’ve probably covered most of the reasons that connect me to Evan Hansen. high school: I was extremely alone, very depressed, frequently suicidal, and, more often than not, constructing elaborate fictional scenarios in my head wherein I had deep, intimate friendships with the people around me. I didn’t take it as far as Evan, and also was gay for Connor in this analogy. They can’t all be perfectly relatable.

Adrian Hlaváček (Always Raining Here)

This is where the list becomes a lot more loose lists of character trains. Adrian is: A Hot Mess™, really real gay, had that one crush that messed him up for so long bc you always fall for the straight ones and hope against hope it will impossibly work out and it obviously doesn’t and then you end up like the picture below, loves to sing, all about that Musical Theatre Life, seems like the innocent and pure one but then it turns out Oh you actually have a lot of emotional baggage that’s messing up your relationships in all sorts of unexpected ways, smart, lives in Vancouver, etc.

Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)

Wirt is: Anxiety+, poetry and concert band, the biggest nerd??, long walks through the forest, the older brother who will do whatever it takes to help his lil sibling, really stubborn, maybe never, maybe he’ll never give this up.

Amy Santiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Amy is: lover of reading, lover of Jake Peralta, cares so much about organization and protocol and actually enjoys filing and alphabetizing things, has a serious problem about putting people in leadership roles on pedestals where you just really want to be validated and mentored and spend time with them and maybe you just need to take a chill pill somethings and diversify your investment in people, super passionate about justice and doing the right thing

Jemma Simmons (Agents of SHIELD)

Jemma is: a biologist, really deeply truly fascinated by all sorts of sciency things and doesn’t really get when maybe that cadaver is a little morbid to others because LOOK it’s so cool! look at how that alien parasite burrowed into the brain like that why are you all turning green? what do you mean this isn’t a conversation for the dinner table?, would die for Peggy Carter also, mom friend, steadfast friend and a lot tougher than you realize until backed up against a wall, just such a huge nerd it’s incredible

Jake English (Homestuck)

Jake is: a dork, says the most outlandishly old-fashioned euphemisms completely unironically that no one else has said for 73 years, frequently has no emotional awareness as to his surroundings, just utterly oblivious at all times, very not straight, indiscriminate taste in most media

Ryan Haywood (Achievement Hunter)

Ryan is: (not actually a character but whatever), the “smart one” of the group but he actually basically never knows what he’s talking about and is usually just saying words vaguely related to the topic he knows and no one else realizes it, very doting friend, not here for any of your “wow look at that man and woman who are friends clearly they must be doing a romance there is literally no other option” nonsense, terrible diet, so much more of a nerd that he lets on 99% of the time, switches from really dark to really genuinely caring to really over-the-top at the drop of a hat, the theatre guy

Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

Ben is: Depressed+, really into so many different things, gets annoyed at people who act like mainstream fandom is anything other than mainstream culture at this point, it’s not a niche nerd thing anymore, sorry big bang theory, enormous romantic softie, puts a lot of thought into everything he does, likes terrible math puns, will correct your incorrect details about his fandoms. he wasn’t going to say anything, but actually it’ll bug him if he doesn’t. he’s not pretentious or a prick about it, he just cares a lot about a lot of things.

Marius Pontmercy (Les Misérables)

Marius is: literally me in our grade 12 production of Les Mis, and Lena you brought this curse upon me that I’m continually more and more like Marius how did you trap me like this? it’s awful. Marius is actually the Worst™ and here I am; my soul eternally bound to this fate. Marius is just the biggest mess in all of fiction, continually, every day of his life, and every post I read about his awful shenanigans in the book is too accurate to my life and I hate it. Ex: everything on this post

Carlos the Scientist (Welcome to Night Vale)

Carlos is the other one on this list I’ve cosplayed. To quote my sister when I told her I was doing it, “You ARE the gay handsome scientist man”. Carlos is quite literally me. A flamboyant brown scientist with impeccable hair who wears his lab coat far more than is professionally necessary and just really loves science a lot.