#and the insurance guy for our work sucks more

[dirtielemon]

an initial hour of being on hold only to be not listened to and now i have to go and be on hold again it has been 30 mins so far hopefully i can either explain myself more fully or get someone willing to listen to me

[matan4il]

Buddie 617 meta

I’m gonna be honest here, this was one of the funniest 911 eps to me. I loved how this ep showed us both Buck and Eddie completely sucking at dating. It was very obvious in Buck’s case, what with each attempt to have quality time with Natalia being ruined by one of his past decisions, but then when he called out Eddie for also sucking at it, Buck wasn’t wrong. Eddie’s attempts seem half-hearted at best. First off, if he really wanted to date, then Tia Pepa’s help and dating apps are actually not that awful as options. Magic might happen there as well. The right person could even stand out more against a sea of not so great choices, turning the dreary experience into a colorful, magical one. But even when Eddie tries on his own, his attempts are LAME. Seriously, there are pastime activities that offer way more potential to start a conversation, and maybe a romance, than the ones Eddie chose. Not only that, these are not his actual hobbies, where he knows he’ll find someone who likes the same thing he does (the way he shares so much with one tall firefighter that we’re all thinking of right now. Eddie’s also being dumb about wanting it to “just happen” as if that’s not exactly what he got with buck. Also, just a friendly reminder that Buddie have been dating for almost 5 years, and they are GREAT at it when it’s with each other).

On top of that, we for real got a guy checking Eddie out (hi, hello, should I start a collection of him checking and being checked out by guys?) as well as him witnessing a woman he was looking at being embraced by another one. Why the hints at being surrounded by queer people? Your guess is as good as mine, but I’m here for it no matter what. ;D Now, I’ve talked before about the ongoing theme of Buddie’s dating life being intertwined in terms of when they start dating someone, or of why they break up, but now in addition to them dating at the same time, we also see them simultaneously sucking at it? Yeah, that takes the connectedness of their dating life up a notch. ~~

Which brings me to one line that grabbed my attention in this ep. THE line that offers the explicit resolution for the most important romantic plot here is the one from Gina, the insurance lady, to Chimney, about not regretting the attempt. Yes, even when the result is bad. That’s what Madney will embrace. One of the biggest obstacles to Buck and Eddie, besides their obliviousness, is the fear of ruining the good thing they have by attempting to take it to the next level. But here we have Chimney being reminded by Gina that it’s worth it, to try. Because the good thing you can have, if it works out? Is worth it. And you never have to live with the “what if” of it all. Now look at Buck and Eddie being once more adorable morons together on the job! Imagine the moment when they stop running around and let themselves try taking it to the next level, because they realize no matter what the result will be, they would never regret the attempt. ~~

Speaking of Buddie paralleling one of the canon couples on the show who were acting lovey dovey in this ep, the way Bobby described what made him and Athena happen reminded me of Buddie connecting. In both cases, there’s an intense and upsetting call, after which one of our first responders turns to find support (Buddie promising to have each other’s back) and comfort (Eddie wants to go grab something to eat together) in the other one. ~~

I did not miss Taylor Kelly, and true to form, she was back because she’s advancing her career by exploiting her personal connection to Buck and the exposure to the 118 it provided her. I’m pretty sure this basically buries any option of any showrunner ever trying to re-set these two as a romance, since it echoed and reinforced Buck’s decision to break up with her. It WAS funny to see her and Lucy cockblock Buck (I do think Lucy’s tone with which she spoke of their past also closes the door on anyone ever trying to set her and Buck up as a serious couple), but what I found to be funniest is that Buck tells Natalia he was trying to figure out the perfect place for their date, and then he took her to the bar where he kissed Lucy. A bar reminiscent of the one where he hooked up with Taylor. Possibly a spot where he hooked with other women during his Buck 1.0 stage based on how it’s THE hang out place for the 118 and we know Buck had no issues hooking up anywhere back then. Natalia, hon. This is not a good sign for your r/s with him. ~~

Speaking of which, there’s an ex who didn’t come back in this ep, but her spirit loomed large over Buck and Natalia IMO, and that is Ali. The reason why she and Buck broke up after 218 is because at the end of the day, she couldn’t accept the choices he had made in his professional life (hoping he would move on from firefighting). In the same way, Natalia revealed in this ep that she can’t accept Buck’s choices in his personal life. A small reminder the only partner we’ve ever witnessed truly seeing and accepting Buck, in every aspect of his life, has been Eddie. ~~

Another funny thing about this (911 is a comedy, y’all) is how Natalia flees the second she comes across Kameron. I mean, this is in addition to the hilarity of the death doula’s first name connecting her to birth and to all things natal, yet she flees the second that she sees a pregnant lady. Because if this is Natalia’s reaction when it comes to a bio kid that Buck explicitly said he is not going to raise, what would she do once she realizes he co-parents a fully grown kid? (and a very sassy one, too. LBR, Natalia doesn’t stand a chance in a show down with either Diaz boy) ~~

Much like Natalia doesn’t seem like the right fit for Buck based on this ep (or based on 616), neither does Marisol. Can I point out the fact that Eddie’s disapproval in the last ep of Buck dating Natalia applies here, too? They both met these women on calls. Second, Eddie wanted it to happen naturally, which is why it’s so lame he tried through all sorts of activities that he’s not ACTUALLY into and wouldn’t continue doing past the initial stage of meeting someone else. And that holds true for Marisol as well. We saw that her brother and her are very into DYI, which I guess was meant to lay the groundwork for Eddie running into her in a DYI shop. But the thing is, Eddie himself isn’t into this! Sure, he can do it, because as a single dad he’s had to, but it’s not something we’ve ever seen him being passionate about. He’s only at this store because of Christopher’s project. And then once more, just like he steps away from Pepa’s help, dating apps and chooses the wost places for a chance romantic connection, he walks away from Marisol even when the whole scene plays out as if she’s the climax of his search throughout this whole ep. This might all hint that despite initial appearances, just like the people he came across while golfing and hiking wouldn’t be the right fit, Marisol wouldn’t be either. Even more importantly, just like Ana at first appeared like she would be perfect for Eddie in 312, starting out in a “it just happened” sort of way and with supposedly being fated because she happened to guess correctly that Eddie stands for Edmundo, this thing with Marisol might look in the moment like it’s exactly what he was looking for, but it will fizzle out as well.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the incredible @whosoldherout​​, there are no words to describe how much I love your gifs and appreciate you!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

[steddieas-shegoes]

wasting company time

for @corrodedcoffinfest warm up round prompt 'get a job'

rated t | 736 words | no cw | tags: they're idiots and i love them, especially gareth, he is my most special boy

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

If Gareth had to help one more person today, he was going to quit his job.

Which he couldn't. He was the only one in the band who currently had an income.

Eddie had been fired for missing too many shifts because of shows, Jeff was too busy with classes to also have a job, and Frankie was waiting for the right thing to come up. Gareth sucked it up and worked nearly full time at the diner.

He couldn't cook for shit so he was a waiter, and being a waiter was not his ideal position. The waitresses he worked with wore short skirts and flirted their way to decent tips. That didn't exactly work for Gareth, who worked the shift when mostly truck drivers came through with exhaustion seeping from their pores and gruff voices barely even placing an order before ignoring him.

The bell rang above the door and Gareth groaned.

"Have a seat anywhere!" He said from behind the counter, taking an extra minute to gather himself before having to help.

"Nah, you're gonna come with us."

Gareth looked up to see Jeff, Eddie, and Frankie standing at the counter, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm clearly working. I don't get off for another hour."

"You don't need to work anymore."

Gareth was not gonna get his hopes up. They may be smiling and encouraging him to leave his job, but they all were irresponsible sometimes, even Jeff.

"Did you all get jobs?"

"We all have a gig. A decent one. One that pays," Frankie leaned against the counter. "One that requires us going on a little tour."

"You're telling me we have nothing for two years and suddenly we have a tour? With who? Where?" Gareth folded his arms across his chest, frowning. They were fucking with him.

"We didn't have nothing for two years, we had shitty gigs. Everyone starts with shitty gigs," Eddie argues. "And one of those shitty gigs had someone who works with a metal band who's going on tour in a month. They opened for Sabbath on their last tour. We're so fucking in, baby."

Gareth still couldn't believe it.

How did they land that? How did anyone see their Hideout show and think 'yeah, those are the guys we need'?

"I don't understand."

"Take off the apron, even though it's doing wonders for your hips," Eddie wiggled his brows playfully. "And come to the trailer. I've got everything there for us to look at with a lawyer."

"A lawyer? We can't afford a lawyer."

"Correct. But Steve said Nancy could take a look at it and make sure the language isn't trying to fuck us over," Eddie poked Gareth's cheek. "Jeff's mom said her brother could look at it, too, but he technically is an insurance lawyer so it may go over his head."

"Nancy Wheeler is gonna read a contract to make sure we don't sign our lives away?"

"Precisely," Frankie nodded.

"Anyone better for the job?" Jeff asked.

He had a ridiculous crush on Nancy, so of course he would think she could do it easily.

"A real lawyer maybe? Someone who is used to reading contracts?" Gareth was not quitting his job for this.

"Okay, well, do you have real lawyer money hiding somewhere in that apron?" Eddie threw his hands up.

"What's your obsession with this apron?" Gareth teased. "I just don't wanna end up jobless and then not even have this gig to fall back on."

"It's your damn hips! I said!" Eddie rolled his eyes. "If I promise to find a lawyer, will you please quit this stupid job?"

"If you can find a lawyer willing to work for free to look at that contract, I will quit this job and give you my last paycheck."

"Deal!" Eddie ran from the diner immediately, leaving Jeff and Frankie shaking their heads.

"He's never gonna find one," Jeff said.

"I know. I'll see you guys in the morning for practice."

Frankie waved and walked back out the door, but Jeff stayed for a moment.

"Hey, I know you're being cautious. But also, I think this would be good for us. We should probably give it a go."

Gareth looked behind him at the line cook shoving a french fry into his mouth, then at the one guy asleep at a table in the corner.

"Yeah, alright. Let's give it a try."

[gosecretscribbles]

Stanuary 2025 Week 1: Mindscape

Summary: Stan is on the beach looking for clothes to steal when heatstroke sets in. He pops out of his body and into the Mindscape, where our favorite Dorito is hoping to make a deal.

AO3 link

Stanley was cold. 

He got up and walked.  Sand and candy wrappers crunched under his bare feet.  Shorebirds chased the waves back and forth.  Gulls chased the occasional flying chip wrapper.  It was really hot today.  Why was he cold again?

Whatever.  He was busy.  He was sick of hand-me-downs.  Pa only bought Ford new clothes.  Stan was sick of hand-me-downs.  By the time Stan got them, it was because Ford had almost outgrown them, which meant Stan only wore them for a week before they were too tight to really wear.  So he was going to find a few charitable tourists and borrow some semi-new stuff. 

Except there…weren’t any tourists.  That was weird, too.  And the gulls were gone.  And he was <em>cold.</em>  If it was so hot, why was he shivering?  Shivering sucked.  Stan got up and started walking.

Had…had he been lying down?

“Stupid sand,” he grumbled.  Must’ve tripped.  Ugh, he was cold.  He squinted.  Oh, duh, there were no tourists because he was headed the wrong way.  He could see the shadow of the Stan O’ War over by the cliffs.  They’d only been working on it a couple of months, but they’d stowed some basic running away supplies in there.  Water and chips and a couple towels.  He could use a towel.  He got up and started walking. 

The Stan O’ War was getting close now.  He felt a little better already, and a whole lot lighter.  He grinned.  <em>See?  Stan-the-Man’s still kickin’.  You know what, forget the beach.  I’ll go to the boardwalk and steal the clothes right off people’s backs!  Literally!</em>

“I’ll train a pet fly!” he said aloud.  “I’d make it go up people’s shirts and bug them until they took it off.  No wait, a pet wasp.  Wasps are cool.  I’ll tie some string around it like a leash and feed it…whatever wasps ate.  Apples?  Oh, I could use Shanklin!  No, wait, if I sic Shanklin on them, Shanklin he’d just tear up the clothes.  Okay, no Shanklin.” 

He was still working out his plan when he reached the boat.  He put one hand on the side of the boat and lifted his foot to step over the broken wood.

His hand went straight through the boat.

He fell forward with a sharp cry, expecting more pain as wood dug into his leg.  But he didn’t even hit the ground.  He looked down.  He was floating.  Apparently. 

“Huh.”  He waved his hand through the boat again.  Come to think of it, he hadn’t heard his own footsteps for the past…however long.  “Am I a ghost?  Oh man, Sixer’s gonna <em>love</em> this!”

“HEY THERE, KIDDO!”

Stan looked up.  Lounging against the mast was a bright yellow triangle.  It had one eye, little stick limbs and a top hat.  He snorted.  “A bow tie?  What are you, an insurance salesman?”

“HA!  YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, KID!  DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE JOB YOU HAVE!”  The triangle swooped down and circled Stan.  “YEESH.  YOU WANT TO BE A TRASH HEAP, KID?”

“Depends, what’ll you pay me for it?”

The triangle laughed and zipped away, coming to rest on the rail of the boat.  “YOU KNOW WHAT?  I LIKE YOU KID!  NAME’S BILL!  HOW’S ABOUT I HELP YOU GET SOME REAL DUDS, HUH?”

“Yeah?  You the magic money fairy?”

“EVEN BETTER, KID!”  The triangle multiplied itself in a ring around Stan.  All the triangle-guys tilted in slightly and their shapes turned into screens.  He saw recordings of himself, like he was watching his memories play out on TV.  The time he got Ford’s old jeans.  The time he patched up Ford’s old belt with tape.  The time Ford ripped a white T-shirt, so when Stan got it, he started rolling up his sleeves.  “I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU, KID.  WHY STOP AT A WARDROBE UPDATE?  I CAN UPDATE YOUR WHOLE LIFE!  NEW HOUSE, NEW YOU, NEW FAMILY!  WHADDAYA SAY?”

“Nah.”  He turned and started doggy-paddling through the air.

The triangle was suddenly in front of him again, a little too fast.  His yellow edges seemed to snap with static.  “HEEEEY, BUDDY!  PAL!  WHAT’S THE RUSH?  I’M OFFERING THE SALE OF YOUR TEENY TINY EXISTANCE!”

“Con,” Stan said flatly. 

“WHAT –”

“<em>COOOOON,</em>” Stan said flatly, sounding bored.  He lounged back on thin air.  “Pretty bad one, too.  Is this from the moldy corn chips last night?”

Bill was definitely buzzing with static.  The yellow flashed briefly to red.  “CORNCHIP?  GUESS AGAIN, KID!  YOU’RE IN THE MINDSCAPE!  I’M AS REAL AS YOU ARE!”

Stan frowned.  “Mindscape?  I’m dreaming?”

“DREAMING, ASTRAL-PROJECTING, DYING, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RUSH BACK TO A FLESH PUPPET THAT’S HOT, HUNGRY, AND TIRED?”

“Yep.  Bye.”  He swam through Bill. 

Bill turned bright red and got way, way bigger.  Bigger than a dump truck.  His eye turned black with a slitted white pupil. 

“<strong>BIG MISTAKE, KID –</strong>”

“Con.”

“<strong>I’VE BEEN WAITING A TRILLION YEARS – </strong>”

“Con.”

“<strong></em>STOP SAYING –</strong></em>”

“COOOOOON.”

It might’ve been scary, but Stan had already proved that they couldn’t touch each other when he ghosted through Bill.  He was pretty sure this was all real, though.  Mostly because he’d never ever dream up a bowtie and a top hat.  What was that even about?  Was the money fairy running for president or something?  At least grow a beard, Mr. Shiny Abe Lincoln!  Or get lasers.  Lasers were cool. 

If this was real, though, then he wasn’t sure what had happened to his body.  He didn’t really remember dying, so maybe he was just…part ghost?  He’d been walking around on the beach before, so his body was probably somewhere on the sand.  He wanted to go back to it.  But it actually was nice not to feel hungry or tired.  That, and the sun was starting to set.  Ford might’ve gone looking and found him.  And Stan really didn’t want to lead this thing back to his brother.  He wasn’t sure if being a ghost meant people could see them or not.  If they could, though, Ford would take one look at Bill and go all Obsessed Robo Nerd.  No thanks.

It took a few hours, but Stan eventually made Bill go away by singing “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves” over and over.  Bill started making weird screechy noises at him, which was absolutely <em>hilarious.</em>  But the sun was setting and he really needed to find his body before the gulls tried to eat him for smelling like corn chips.

Sure enough, he spotted his body slumped over a little way up the beach.  Looked like he’d collapsed face-down.  (Okay that was a little bit funny.)  The tide was coming in up to his shoulder.  Ford had found him, at least, and was dragging him out of – oh, wait, no, he was dragging Stan <em>into</em> the water.  A flock of seagulls surrounded them, periodically trying to dive-bomb Stan’s body.  Ford was trying to fend them off with a bent beach umbrella. 

“Back, ye beasts!” Ford shouted at them.  “BACK TO THE DUMPSTERS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!”

…Alright, so Ford wasn’t completely trying to kill him.  Just drown him.  Apparently. 

Stan braced himself and dove back into his body.  He didn’t even have a full second to think, <em>It worked!</em> before gravity yanked him face-first into the next wave.  He flailed, coughing hard, and all of his limbs threatened to crush him under his own weight.  He thought he’d felt cold before.  He was practically freezing! 

“Stan!”  Ford grabbed Stan’s head and pulled him above the wave.  Which did not help.  Ford realized this and switched dropped him –

“OW!”

– and then grabbed Stan under the armpits, hauling him a little further up the beach.  The seagulls drew back, sullen disappointment in their beady little eyes. 

“Sixer,” Stan croaked. 

“Stanley!  You’re alive!”

“You – tried to – drown me!” he managed between coughs. 

“I’m trying to cool you down!  How long were you out here?  You’ve got really bad heatstroke, you’re burning up!”

Is that what this was?  Heatstroke felt like a bad fever, times a thousand.  His body hurt and he was so cold his teeth were chattering and he couldn’t even see and he felt so dizzy he was going to throw up. 

“Wanna go back t’ the mind thing,” Stan groaned, and then almost screamed when the next wave crashed over his legs and back.  It was so cold, why was it so cold and why did it hurt so much? 

“…making sense.  It’s okay!  We just – okay, we can’t go to a hospital, but I read about heatstroke!  You can’t sleep – no, that’s concussions.  But it’s fine, we’re cooling you off –”

“<em>Hurts</em>.”

“We have to, Stanley, you could die from heatstroke!” 

Ford’s face was really pale, actually, even in the orange light of the setting sun.  No wait, it was night.  Because it was all dark.

“It’s not dark, I just opened the umbrella.  Uh, you’re cooling off, you also need to drink a ton of water <em>not the seawater!</em>”  Ford yanked Stan’s chin up above the waves.  Stan tried to bite him.  He was thirsty!  “No!  It’s 3% salt, processing salt in your kidneys takes more water, you’ll actually dehydrate drinking it –”

Stan lost track of what Ford was saying.  His head was pounding and his vision was going all dark.  But Ford was making nerd noises, which must mean that everything was okay.  He closed his eyes.  This time, instead of a weird talking triangle, he saw black, and slipped down into a heavy sleep.

Week 2

[azrakaban]

Movie Night - Platonic! Slytherin gang

A/N: I WORKED FOR OVER TEN HOURS ON THIS AND IT DIDN'T SAVE! Gonna scream and cry but instead I'm rewriting while watching Baby which fyi is where editors get their clips of our much loved theodore nott, played by Lorenzo Zurzolo. Also, the chosen movie didn't come out before this fillm, I'm aware, but suck it up buttercups <3

Summary: Movie night with your best friends. What could go right?

warnings: swearing

...

You flopped down onto the bed between Pansy and Astoria, the latter of which immediately smacked you around the head with a frog plushie. "Finally, what took you so long? It's popcorn, not rocket science." She laughed, Pansy rolling her eyes.

"I managed to perfevt the popcorn first try. Alone. However, when I first tried to make it, someone wanted to help, and someone managed to burn the popcorn and nearly blow up the pan!" You said, glaring playfully at Enzo. He gave you an apologetic look, before sitting beside Rhia on a beanbag.

You handed the popcorn bowl to Pansy, who threw a piece at Theodore, who caught it in his mouth, resulting in a triumphant yell, until Astoria's frog plushie smacked him in the face. Mattheo snorted.

You giggled, turning to look at Blaise and Tom, who were fiddling around with a projector.

"You two need some help?" Rhia called, watching as Tom grew more and more frustrated.

"No, we're perfectly capable of doing it by ourselves. Piss off." Tom said, frowning. He then noticed who was talking. "Sorry Rhia, too harsh." He said, voice a shade softer. Rhia smiled and turned back to Enzo, who was showing her an action figure of one of the Irish Quidditch team.

You turned away, tuning back into your conversation with Pansy and Astoria before a loud crash interrupted you. You turned back to Blaise and Tom, the latter of which was muttering 'Reparo' at the projector.

"You sure you still don't need help?" Rhia is just sat there, a small smile on her face as she watches them. 

"Again, we're fi-" Blaise cuts Tom off, slapping a hand over his mouth. "He's lying Rhia, help us, please, we're incapable." Blaise says, a pleading look in his eyes.

You laugh as Rhia goes over and sets it up within a minute. Tom is looking very disgruntled, feeling slightly stupid but also slightly impressed by Rhia' capabilities with muggle technology. 

Everyone gets comfortable for the film, which is going to be 'Mean Girls'. Tom gives you a look, as you were the one to choose the film, but ultimately he decides to trust your judgement. The film begins, with everyone getting comfortable and snuggly, blankets everywhere.

*a little bit later*

"I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this." Gretchen's voice came from the screen, and Theodore laughed. "Wow guys, it's Draco!" He was met with a few laughs, and an extremely sour expression form Draco. 

"No no, that's not Draco. She is." Mattheo pointed to Regina. "How do I even begin to explain Draco Malfoy?" He smirked, adopting an exaggerated dreamy expression. 

"Draco Malfoy is flawless." Theodore says, sitting up and opening his eyes wide in imitation of the girl from earlier on in the movie. 

"He has two fendi purses and a silver lexus." Blaise continued, giving side eyes to either side of him as if someone was listening to him sharing Draco's secrets.

"I've heard his hair's insured for 10,000 dollars." Lorenzo said, gasping and enunciating for dramatic effect. "It's 50,000 actually." Draco muttered.

"I hear he does car commercials... in Japan." Mattheo said furtively, still smirking. Draco rolled his eyes.

"One time he met Harry Potter in a robe shop, and he told her he was pretty." Theodore said, grinning. Draco glared. "Leave Potter out of this." He grumbled quietly. 

Then the unthinkable happened.

"One time he punched me in the face. It. Was. Awesome." Tom adopted an american accent, nailing the line perfectly.

Blaise gasped. Theodore did a double take. Lorenzo rubbed his eyes, as if to be sure of what he was seeing. Draco gaped. Mattheo fainted. Rhia, Pansy, Astoria and you bit your lips to keep from laughing. 

Mattheo magically regained consciousness after a second, sitting bolt upright. "Do mine ears decieve me?" He said fervently. 

"Indeed cousin they do not. I believe thou own kindred hath quoted a line from a movie." Drsco said, clapping Tom on the shoulder. 

Tom glared, shrugging it off. "It's thine, not thou. Buffoon." Tom said, rolling his eyes.

"Come on brother, where are the curse words in your sentence? It's not a crime to say them! LOOK! Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. Was I struck by lightning? No sir!" Mattheo exclaimed, laughing and falling off the bed. 

"Sorry, what is he on?" Blaise said, raising an eyebrow. You peered over the side of the bed to look at the floor, finding the culprit rather fast. 

You help up some elastic circles, and a half empty packet of fizzy cola bottles. "Judging by the debris site, far too many candy necklaces and half a packet of cola bottles." Theodore cackled, lifting his friend off of the floor with Enzo's help and dumping him back on the bed. 

Mattheo continued to fidget throughout the movie, clearly still coming down from the sugar high. 

...

"It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain. Well, they can tell when it's raining."  Karen's voice rang out from the speakers. Blaise cackled. 

"Miss girl, your boobs do not have Atmokinesis." He rolled his eyes, finding it far too funny for what the line was.

...

"I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular." Gretchen's voice came from the film. "MATTHEO CORE!" Yelled Pansy, laughing. He threw a pillow at her, missing and wacking Astoria. There was a scream that shook the heavens. 

"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN RIDDLE!" Astoria yelled, snapping off her acrylics in less than thirty seconds and running at him, tackling him and repeatedly hitting him with her pillow. 

"Nobody-" Smack "Ruins-" Smack "My Maybelline Sky High Mascara-" Smack "WITHOUT FACING-" smack "THE CONSEQUENCES!" Smack. The girl was feral (understandable.)

Mattheo cowered in fear, not even bothering to fight back. 

"Apologize and we can get this over with Mattheo." You said, completely unbothered by the frequent occurence, just letting it happen.

"I'M SORRY ASTORIA! FORGIVE ME PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!" Mattheo yelled, finally ceasing the pillow abuse. 

Astoria finally relented, and joined you back on the bed, gratefully accepting Rhia's mascara. 

...

"It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something!" 

"GIRL SAID WHAT?!" You yelled, jumping up excitedly. Theo rolled his eyes. 

"YN you've seen this movie eight times before. You know what she said." He said, turning back to the screen, where Regina was delivering her next line. "Just wait." You muttered.

"See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize." Theo audiblu gasped. 

"GIRL SAID WHAAAT?" He yelled. You grinned. "Told you."

...

"No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c..."

Tom shook his head as Regina was hit by a bus. 

"Both of them went too far in that sitch, Bus was deserved." He said, groaning as he realised he'd spoken his thoughts aloud. However, there were no giggles or smirks from the other guys. Instead he was met with five solemn nods. 

"When Tom Riddle says it's too far, you know it's too far." Enzo said, nodding his head in agreement.

...

"Oh no, you're not going to end on that are you?" The film credits rolled, and you looked around at your friends, many of whom were passed out tired. You locked eyes with Draco, shaking your heads with a smile. 

Tom was sat in silent contemplation. "What's on your mind Riddle?" You said, smiling. 

"I think... maybe... not all American high school movies are bad." He said quietly. You gasped. 

"Small victories." You whispered to yourself happily, shortly after falling asleep on Astoria's shoulder. Tom followed shortly after, and Draco too, on his silk pillowcase to protect his luxury insured hair.

...

A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm still taking requests, so just comment and I'll try do them quickly. Love you all xx

[arcanarix]

Fated Divergence, Ch. 2 // Yandere! Suguru Geto X Non-Sorcerer Darling

AO3 (+prev. chapter)

“Son of a bitch.”

Just when you believed this day couldn’t get much worse (and it was barely 9AM!), you returned to where you parked your car only to find the rear-end damaged. Banged up and everything!

You stormed your feet on the concrete and almost wanted to clutch your head from the sheer frustration of your entire existence!

“Are you fucking shitting me?!”

You grumbled a string of curses to yourself as you dialed Mei’s number.

“Hey! Mei, someone rear-ended my car in the parking deck.”

“Aw man, that sucks! We can check security to see if we can get the license plate of the person who did it, and hopefully your insurance will cover that for you. Are you doing okay? My shift just ended, so I can meet you there.”

“Awesome, because I have so much tea to spill to you in person. I had an… interesting encounter.”

“Interesting like hot guy interesting or interesting like I hope I never see this fucker again interesting?"

You bit back a snort at such a typical follow-up question.

“Weirdly enough, both.”

Not much longer, and Mei appeared by your side with her things. You hung up your phone as you spun around to face her. She jingled her keys and eyed the damage on your Honda.

“Sheesh, that sucks,” she muttered, brushing her blonde hair away. “We didn’t catch much on the security cameras, for some reason it was acting all buggy. But do tell about this fateful encounter.”

“It was Suguru Geto,” you replied as if it was not that big of a deal.

“That crazy cult leader who thinks he’s God, or something? He runs Star Religious Group, right?” she asked. You nodded.

“Yeah, that’s the one. All I can say is that at least he puts the ‘hot’ in ‘psychotic,’ but that’s as far as things go… he’s as full of that nutty spiritual shit as they come.”

“Sounds like there’s something more to this,” she remarked. Always one to read between the lines… it kind of drove you nuts, sometimes. But at the same time, you had come to appreciate that about her because most people took things at face value in times when they shouldn’t.

You trailed off, eyes rolling upward while thinking to yourself as you tried to make sense of the encounter you had. Suguru Geto… how did someone describe Suguru Geto, someone with a working brain, at least? To you, he seemed like he came off as someone who lost sight of reality the moment he got out of his sheltered lifestyle. He seemed too…wrapped up in his own fucked up ideologies to understand that none of what he preached truly made sense. It seemed like he was at least self-aware enough tor realize that, though, when he put you on the spot asking if he frightened you or not.

Case in point, all that you could say about Suguru Geto was that he was just another nutcase who branded himself with some weird God or martyr complex.

“He seemed…” you began, twirling a stray strand of hair. “…out of it. And he was weirdly very touchy with me, someone he deems beneath him and like he was under a spell when he saw me. Almost like…” You couldn’t word it. “Almost like there was some spark in his eyes. He even gave me his business card that had his address to the Star Religious Group temple, but I ripped it up. No way in Hell would I ever go to him for anything. I like to think I have a working brain.”

“Smart,” she replied after listening to every word, while nodding. “That guy is bad news and reeks of megalomaniac. Some of our patients and co-workers seem to think he’s legit, though, with exorcising demons or whatever.”

You shrugged, deciding it was best not to dwell on the encounter longer than necessary. It was likely you were never going to run into him again—not if you could help it.

“Whatever helps them sleep at night, I guess. It was just…I don’t know. Just thinking about that look on his face when he stared me down, I just… don’t know how to describe it. I just knew he wanted something from me, and I hope that it isn’t as a sacrifice for the ‘greater good.’”

How not so far from the truth you were about that speculation, though, given his ideologies that the general public had no clue about…

You caught Mei smiling that ‘you’re missing something’ smile, with that mischievous twinkle in those big ole green eyes of hers. You hated guessing games, so glaring back at her, you let out a groan.

“Just spit it out, Mei.”

“You do realize Suguru Geto is still a man beyond all of that delusional grandeur, right?” she sang through giggles. “Maybe the crazy cult leader has the hots for you. You never acknowledge it yourself, babe, but you are a hot piece of ass. And he is likely a simple man with very simple…urges.”

You grimaced. “That’s just nasty. Not like I’d ever hook up with a psychotic cult leader.”

Mei howled with laughter, shoulders shaking.

Tossing her free hand in the air and waving dismissively, she replied: “Not like you haven’t had worse hookups, like Raito from Tinder.”

“Oh my God! You’re ridiculous,” you scoffed, making a retching sound at the reminder. “But you know what—you’re not wrong. He was definitely the epitome of the worst sex to ever have and I hope never to have a repeat of that encounter.”

You two shared another laugh before exchanging smiles. As the laughter died down, you sighed, taking a final glance at the damage of the car you weren’t sure your insurance would cover.

“Thanks for hearing me out. So much for figuring out who damaged my car, but I guess I’ll just have to figure out if I can find someone who can fix it.”

“You really are having quite the Monday, aren’t you?” Mei teased while raising an eyebrow.

You gave Mei a pointed look.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on that again.”

-- --- -- -- --

When you left the parking deck with Mei, you weren’t aware of the numerous eyes fixated on you. Some even in your car…

Some curses Geto had absorbed from naïve clients he had implanted near you to keep a close watch on everything you did.

He also did a little digging on you.

An only child, parents gone from the world some time ago (and therefore not much for him to clean up for your sake) … no other family that you knew of either.

A perfect specimen, indeed. An exception, he didn’t think he could find it before.

Not even his parents. He knew that was taking an extreme measure, but they were asleep and unsuspecting when he committed the deed. They didn’t suffer, as far as he knew. They didn’t suffer, since they didn't know it was he who put them out of their misery. His parents would be used as leverage against him, and not only was that a way to show no exception for his new regime, but it was also a way to make sure nothing would complicate his agenda.

Not only that, he pondered further, but perhaps he had been vengeful and vindictive that his parents placed him in a world with this much ugliness.

He watched with a veil concealed around the area as you drove off. He may or may not have been responsible for the damage to your car. Completely an accident this time around, since he absorbed another curse, but the typical human eye wouldn’t be able to detect what happened.

Little by little, each step would bring you closer to him.

No matter where you went, no matter whether you truly believed in him or not…

Soon enough, he was going to be the answer to all of your prayers. He would be your salvation, just as you became his.

After all, every perfect God needed his lovely wife. Perhaps having a non-sorcerer around his arms would provide those other monkeys a false sense of security, a reason to believe in his cause a little more.

Besides, in spite of your monkey status, you were still the fairest of the land.

As you drove off, he commenced Phase 1 of his plan.

Only he would be able to help these unsuspecting monkeys break free from the curses he released in the area.

In due time, my sweet, he thought as his eyes darkened. In due time.

-- --- -- -- --

After spending some time with Mei, you returned to your dingy old apartment that you kept telling yourself you’d move out of but somehow never did. Somewhere down the line, you decided that served its purpose, and you didn’t really need the aesthetic lifestyle.

You flopped onto your couch and sighed, glancing at the digital clock perched on top of your humble sized TV.

Only 1PM now… so the day still had the potential to get worse, huh?

Or better, if you stopped being such a goddamn pessimist.

You flipped through some channels, settling on some old timey crime drama you heard Mei used to rave about all the damn time. Seemed as formulaic and predictable as ever, but at least it filled the silence with something other than your damning thoughts often circling back to that encounter with Suguru Geto.

Which, by that point, your inclination to be curious against your better judgment took over.

You wondered if there had to be any dirt on this guy. Well, apart from what was known to the general public. Superficially charming but dealt a ruthless hand just for the sheer anarchial point of it. You decided to settle into your desk and boot up your computer.

So … did he go any deeper than just an egotistical megalomaniac with a God-complex?

You paused, taking a moment to consider your actions. Why was this suddenly so interesting to you? All you could do was speculate. When you searched him up, all you found were conspiracy theories (which probably weren’t far off) about him having disdain toward people who didn’t view his ‘spiritual gift’ as valuable or even real.

As you were browsing online through conspiracy theorist forums, which were nuttier than Suguru Geto himself if anyone could believe it, you weren’t aware of the cursed spirit perched just above you, with a camera lodged in its mouth to capture everything you did at every waking moment from then on out.

It’s not a secret that the great Suguru Geto possesses disdain for non-believers. Is it really hard to understand the power he possesses, a gift from God, perhaps? Maybe he might be God.

He saved my daughter from being plagued by her sleep paralysis demons, which he explained weren’t sleep paralysis demons at all. A spirit had been attached to her and once he absorbed it, she has never complained of episodes since.

Suguru Geto is a savior to us all.

“These guys are nuts,” you muttered to yourself as you idly munched on some trail mix while digging more into Suguru. “These are probably the same guys who think vaccines cause autism…”

There wasn’t much more to gauge out of these forums. All of them shared similar stories, but you wondered if people spoke of poor experiences or service with Suguru Geto.

Did anyone else find something extremely unsettling about Suguru Geto? When I took my daughter to his temple, he had no problem changing our last name just because ‘Sato’ was easier than ‘Saito’.

You almost snorted. That sounded so dumb and unserious, yet this man did have a dangerous air to him. Maybe all you could chalk him up to was that he had a few screws loose and that was as far as things went.

You exited out of these forums, deciding that expanding upon on your research on this guy wasn’t worth your energy.

Besides, you had an early shift tomorrow. (You double-checked your calendar this time.)

-- --- -- -- --

The next morning, during your shift, you had been approached by a tall man with white hair. He wore a blindfold, for whatever reason, and wore a school uniform.

You stood, dumbfounded, wondering what he could possibly want. You were in charge of this floor, and he seemed…distressed. Far from uncommon on these grounds, of course. You worked at a fucking clinic.

“Hello,” you greeted, eyebrows scrunching as you studied the man. “May I help you?”

“Did this man happen to appear in this area in the last few days?” He presented a picture of, hey what did you know? Suguru Geto.

Except you almost wouldn’t have recognized him—he seemed so normal in the picture the man showed you. The Suguru Geto you met adorned himself in a robe, with long unkempt hair, his bonier body, and a manic grin. Here, he seemed refined, healthy and strong. Poised, with a clean bun and a handsome, winning smile.

Your jaw practically hung open at the stark contrast.

What the fuck kind of glow down was that, actually?

Gathering yourself, you cleared your throat.

“Ah. Yes, he has been sighted around here. Not here in the clinic, but I saw him at the bakery just a few blocks away from here.”

“Good to know.” He towered over you the way Suguru Geto did; they were maybe around the same height. He looked like he was studying you but unlike Geto, he respected your space. Especially since you were in the middle of an early shift.

“Listen, Miss,” he glanced at your name tag and sounded out your name. You nodded as he guessed correctly. “Just watch your back, alright? I hope you didn’t address him as Geto instead of Suguru if he talked to you. The guy’s particular about that, for some reason.”

Yeah, the guy’s practically infamous for wanting to be seen as important, you thought to yourself with a frown, mostly because of the way Gojo likely wasn’t staring at you but whatever was going on around you.

He seemed to sense someone, or something (or hell, even both) around you that you couldn’t figure out.

“I’m going to make regular visits here,” he continued, “My name is Satoru Gojo. The clinic knows my face fairly well by now by how many civilians we bring here for them to mend from…accidents.”

“Ah,” you acknowledged, dumbfounded as ever but deciding not to probe him with questions. The hell was up with all of the cryptic shit? You really didn’t care all that much. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Gojo. But I must return to my patients.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

Not much longer, and you heard his footsteps receding to the nearest exit.

[pekkhum]

Are you trans yourself or is it just your daughter? :0

And in any case, how is her transition going so far?

Sending much love <3

I think this will be more fun to answer via story time and the long mode answer:

Around the time of my 37th birthday I started seeing a couple incredibly hilarious and relatable memes about being trans go by on my feed. They were just so great that I found myself seeking out more and learning to understand trans folk more and more. I kept wanting to comment and holding myself back, because, of course I'm not trans, I just feel all the things trans women feel all the time and have struggled with those feelings since I was very, very young. Still cis, though.

There was eventually a day when the dam broke and I admitted online that I am trans, but it was three days later, while reading about internalized transphobia, that it all hit home. I had myself a nice little fit about how I didn't want to be trans, not because it is bad, but because the world makes life suck for trans people. (Actually, 6 months before, in the most egg moment ever, I told a woman that I had been thinking about how hard life as a transgender lesbian would be and that it would be much easier to be a straight guy. I was wrong for reasons most trans folk can guess.)

That day, I sat my child down to explain that I've realized that I am very much trans, that I have resources she can read to understand what that all means, and that I would let her other parent know, so she had someone else to talk to if she wanted. (Thankfully, we are peacefully divorced, so that wasn't an issue.)

I later found out that my child had devoured those resources, stolen one of my skirts my work-mom gave me (she's so supportive) and tried on names, pronouns, and skirts. It was a month later that she greeted me in the morning in a skirt and informed me that she was certain her feelings weren't something else and I discovered that I have a daughter! 😊

I was in the process of trying to get HRT and my insurance changed, then my health network intentionally and willfully screwed me over and yanked my chain, because they didn't want to provide a referral (it turned out to be owned by the Catholic church, here in America), but didn't want to admit their bigotry. I was forced to change health networks and get a new primary and wait months for a new appointment for a referral and my daughter's needs were similarly delayed, but she was even further behind! I had just gotten HRT when I was laid off and left with no insurance. This means I'm on an incorrect dose and my daughter hasn't gotten hers.

To make matters worse, our ADHD has made sitting down for voice training or learning makeup (it is so overwhelming!) difficult for us and we've not found others willing and able to help with the latter. My daughter has gotten a lot of nice clothing from her mama (I'm mom, the ex is mama 🤷‍♀️), and she just looks so cute, but she hasn't felt brave enough to present at school or anything. I'm hoping a GSA in college will help, but I'm making sure not to push her. She's still figuring out her personal vibe, but it seems to lean toward her mama's style, instead of my tastes, with just a few exceptions. Whatever she goes with, I'm proud beyond belief!

I joined a writer's group and only ever introduced myself under my unmistakably femme chosen name and everyone was cool with my very unfemme appearing dysphoria hoodie wearing self. I am grateful beyond belief. The dose may be too low, but the HRT has been very much working. Unfortunately, even freshly shaved with a straight razor, my beard is forever visible (I'm told a little blush or color corrector can hide that, but keep looking horrible when I try), but thanks to HRT, I at least saw a woman with a beard shadow, when last I walked into the bathroom. (Also, I fill out my sundress more, now!)

With family and friends, we are fully socially transitioned, though, and I am grateful, every day, for those we've been able to keep. It wasn't all, but it seems I'd already cut the problems, in advance. Also, we can both wear whatever around the house, so we dress for ourselves, at least.

We dressed up extra for our first Pride parade, though! I won't have a ton of opportunities to wear that rainbow skirt, but I love it greatly!

We are early in transition, with lots of problems yet to solve, but we are so much happier, so far. I'm finally alive and she finally cares about who she will be! We're also so much closer now and have opened up a lot more to each other. I adore my daughter and I'm so glad to be her mom! 💖🥲

[puffologic]

2 cents from a friend of a friend. I have no horse in this race, just sharing someone else's perspective.

(Quoting my friend inside of quotes, outside of ✨️)

"Withholding credit per the author's request.

But I've known this person for just shy of a decade, and they don't hold back if they don't like someone. Speaking out in a positive way said enough for me to know what kind of person Brian must have been.

I trust their judgement in my daily life, I'll trust them on the character of someone they knew.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Alright fuckers, listen up. You want the "insurance bad" thread? You got it. I was a business process architect at UHC for 8 years. I have seen all the data (some of the data being cited is likely from my old team). I have met and/or worked with the majority of the current and past execs. Some of them are absolutely blood-sucking vampires, but Brian Thompson was not one of them.

All the charts and data you see across social media are from 2021 or prior. You know when Brian Thompson became CEO? 2021. You know who was responsible for all the fucking evil shit you know about UHC? Steve Nelson, the former CEO who is now an exec VP at Aetna. I worked with Steve and Brian. They couldn't be more different. I likely know the next CEO too and I have a hunch on who it will be.

I was at a town hall one time when one of our data analysts asked, "Since 53% of our company is women, why are 70% of the leadership roles filled by men? What are you doing to fix that?" Steve Nelson stammered like crazy, tossed the question to the ONLY female exec, and ended the town hall. You know what BT did when he took over as CEO? Hired women into the exec roles. He increased female leadership across the entire company.

"But UHC denies more claims than everybody..." yeah, Steven Nelson did that. BT kicked off a program to eliminate Prior Authorizations for in-network providers. In 2023, 20% of all prior authorizations were removed. He was striving for 100% over the next 5 years.

BT just happened to be the face on which you can project your rage, but he's the wrong guy. If it were almost anybody else in the market, Steve Nelson, Andrew Witty, etc... I would agree with you. Steve Nelson tried to tell a "relatable story" once about conquering fear and his example was when he went helicopter skiing with his daughters and one of them was too scared to try one of the big jumps. THAT'S THE GUY YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

It's no secret that I hate the entire idea of health insurance, but it's reality. "Being part of the system is part of the problem" is a childish take. The only way to fix the problem is guys like Brian at the helm. That guy was just murdered. I'm not a conspiracy guy, but based on the way this went down and how much misinformation about him is spreading, it feels like a hit. Stop and think before sharing that meme that slanders him.

✨✨✨✨✨✨

I work in the healthcare industry.

I'm chronically ill.

I've received denials and had to jump through prior auths in my personal and professional life.

I don't like the healthcare system. But I also don't particularly care for a person's murder being used as a tool for "change" when it's just people bitching online. That's not change.

So do something.

Do better. 🤷🏻‍♀️ "

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 25, 2021 8:00 p.m. the black pearl

[grant] well, i know it doesn’t fix the existential angst and you shouldn’t ever feel like it needs to go away instantly, but i guarantee you will be a good dad.

[grant] any kids you have will feel loved. they’ll be set up for the future no matter how everyone’s lives play out. i know you’ll do your best, and i know soobin will, too. you guys have worked so hard to have such a long and healthy and sincere relationship.

[grant] and the fact that you’re worried about any of this means you’re going to do a good job. shitty parents and shitty partners don’t ask if what they’re doing or about to do is wrong.

[grant] everyone is going to make mistakes sometimes but it’s about getting most of it right, and i believe you will. soobin doesn’t hold it over your head that for a while, your fear made you a little controlling. you improved and she forgave you. you’re smart, you’ll adapt, and most of all, you should know you’re loyal. at the end of the day, a parent who puts their kids first and never turns their back on them is the best parent in the world in my eyes.

[grant] mistakes can be forgiven if you put your kids first and treat them like a human being who matters.

[henry] thank you. i appreciate it. that means a lot coming from you.

[grant] and i understand your main fear in the first place. i've thought about it many times. i never worried about myself dying but others dying. elizabeth, uh...yeah. those big family losses seriously will ruin you forever in one way or another. the way you lost your father only makes it worse. it does strip away any feeling of invincibility you have.

[henry] you can say that again.

[henry] i'm glad someone understands.

[grant] you can never really know, i guess, what’s going to happen to you or to anyone you know, and it’s not helpful to say it’ll be fine because we all know crazy and terrible things happen. it's unfortunately mathematically true. but trust me, i'll kill you if you die!

[henry] you’ll kill me if i die? haha.

[henry] thanks for making me laugh, too.

[grant] yep. i will re-kill your ghost.

[henry] i'll kill you if you die.

[grant] thank you, buddy! you’re a real one.

[henry] dude, ugh, i googled life insurance policies a month ago. ew, adulthood.

[grant] life insurance is a good thing to have, though.

[henry] it is, it is. even if my hypothetical kids just buy a fucking pool with the money.

[grant] i mean, if it benefits them, right?

[henry] let me add a note to the policy saying you can either get an in-ground pool put in or free college tuition–one or the other.

[grant] does that include getting a sick ass waterfall feature installed on the pool or no?

[henry] by the way–

[henry] disclaimer that this is just an idea, not concrete at all, but soobin and i briefly mentioned moving back to korea as a way to make sure our kids have a good life.

[grant] wow, really? it is worth thinking about! it is rational. most of your family is here and all of soobin’s family does live here, and you do have to consider what’s best for you and your family, current and future. before i did move back home, when i was with you know who, i thought about this, too, if we ever had kids that maybe we could or should move back to michigan so they'd have my whole family around.

[grant] and just so it’s on the record, you have my full support in any decision here.

[grant] are you interested in moving back?

[henry] i don’t know. i haven’t lived here since i was five years old. i've only visited, and then came back for one year to do the military service because i was wary of giving up my citizenship. but i almost did because truly, i did not want to go into the army. that shit sucked.

[grant] what does soobin think?

[henry] well, it was her idea. i'm very whatever about wherever i live. i feel no strong pull one way or another at the moment. but it’s different for her.

[henry] she lived here much longer than me. she cares much more and has a preference. i mean, she spent pretty much her entire life here except since college and during the school semesters between sixth and twelfth grades because her parents sent her to a fancy private school there.

[henry] i will say, soobin’s main point isn’t wrong, and it's the one you brought up. most of our family is here. it’s like you and michigan. that’s where your folks are. and that support is invaluable when you have kids, both for their social development and for financial reasons. plus, my mom actually wants to move back. she never talks about it, but i know she does.

[grant] i get that, too.

[henry] like i said, she’s just never been the same since my dad died. which i don't fault her for. she does her best to be happy, you know, but i think she feels very alone, even more now that i don’t live on the upper peninsula anymore. she was with him forever. they were soulmates. and her life drastically changed after he died.

[henry] this has been the first time she's had a job since, god, the 1980s. she loves being an art teacher for school kids, but that's a huge change in addition to the sudden loneliness.

[henry] and on the loneliness side, she has your family and they've been close for a long time.

[grant] she was literally over at my aunt bridie's house the other day making shampoo with her.

[henry] yeah, so she sees them pretty often and she also has her book club and some other friends, but she knows way more people here. seoul's where all her family and friends are.

[henry] i want my mom to be happy, you know? it’s my job as her son, and i'm the only child she ever had. she doesn’t need me to look after her every day, not really, but i want to and she deserves that. and truth be told, a part of me believes that if she comes back, i would feel not very good about being away from her.

[henry] i think that if i encourage her to come back or talk to her about it and she does go through with it, that would sway me more to soobin’s side. again, i want my mom to be happy, and i'm also scared of losing her. it doesn’t matter if it’s sudden or slow. i don’t want to lose her, and especially not if i feel like i've spent my whole adult life away from her, not prioritizing what time is left with her.

[henry] not to be morbid, but she’s almost 60. at some point you do ask yourself how much longer you have left with your older family members around. life is unfortunately very short.

[grant] of course. that’s totally understandable. she's a great mother, and you wouldn't want to miss out on that. and i'm sure you don’t want your kids to not have their grandma present in their lives.

[henry] but then i have to start over with my job and maybe i lose contact with my friends if i leave. i do have friends here–sorry, they weren’t able to come hang out this time, maybe next time–but my real two best friends are in michigan. it’s you and ben. i don't let anyone else get that close to me except for soobin because to me, my best friend slots are full. i don't want anyone else. no one else is worth it.

[henry] and i always said you’d be my kids’ godfather. i don’t want them to miss out on knowing you the way they should.

[grant] there’s facetime! and i'd come visit. and i'm so goddamn annoying, i will be texting you about everything i think about in the world for the rest of our lives. you're not going to lose me.

[henry] i try my best to believe i won't lose you.

[grant] also, don’t stress out too much about this yet. you do not have to make any of these decisions now, and when you do need to, the right answers will come to you.

[grant] and listen, one last thing and then i'll shut up. i don’t know how, i don’t know why–i don’t think there is an answer to this–but the people we lose are still with us, even if only in spirit. i am famously a skeptic, but i felt something this year that changed my mind. i know you miss your dad but he’s still with you. somehow he’ll see your kids grow up, and he’ll be there guiding you to make the right decisions.

[grant] your dad loved you, like, beyond what words can express. he loved your mom just as much. he would never willingly leave you. if there's something after this mortal existence, he's still with you.

[grant] oh, and we should probably eat this pizza before it's frigid.

[henry] fuck, i forgot about it. thanks for reminding me. yeah, let's demolish this pizza, and then i'll take you to that cool arcade i told you about. we'll make up for the awful arcade experience at your cousin's bachelor party.

[begitalarcos]

Hey Guys

Wow it's been quite some time. In regards to my last life post (that I don't remember making) but did happen and was very difficult to deal with all the fall out for like... more than a month after.

I'm sorry I left you all with that and then just disappeared again. Things have been weird the last couple months... to put it in simple words... shit sucks

The falling out with my daughter caused a huge rift between several people who (were not involved but still had a very loud opinion about things) and quite a few uncomfortable conversations.

I unfortunately started drinking as a way to deal with not dealing with things (I'm good now but I had about 3 weeks of just being smashed on the regular) and during that time I suffered an awful fall which resulted in me slipping a disc in my back. Possibly 2 of them but I've had such a hard time dealing with doctors lately that no one in the medical field has been particularly helpful. So I've been living off a cocktail of painkillers for almost 2 months now (which I hate), I was going to physio but then my insurance decided not to cover my sessions until I could PROVE I was actually hurt.

Tomorrow I go for an assessment with a new doctor to try and get my insurance to cover treatment again, my MRI isn't even until August of next f*cking year. -_-

Our healthcare system is an absolute joke right now.

On top of being in CONSTANT pain (not being able to sit or lie down for very long either cuz I lose feeling in my legs) my daughters disability/mental health program has decided to just... not help anymore until she gets a new assessment. Even though its been almost 3 years and she's still on a waiting list for an adult psychiatrist.

So the last week or so now everyone is coming back to me to try and fix/smooth things out again (after I was basically pushed out of her life because I was "making shit up" and "didn't actually care" and apparently was just being a control freak) and no one has apologized for the way they treated me or forced me out of helping my own kid. Nope. They just expect that now that she has no financial coverage that I should be the one to speak for her again cause they have no idea what to do. -_-

My husband has been solid thankfully, even though his relationship with Sassy has suffered so much because of the people around her who have influenced her... not always for the better. But I at least have maintained a sense of control in a way that's worked for me.

I told everyone who has given me grief for the past couple years about Sassy (including Sassy) that if I am going to advocate for her and get this stuff sorted out that I'm doing it my way, and if I get any push back or flack from anyone - then I'm done. They can figure it out themselves and I wash my hands of it all.

My husband thinks I shouldn't have gotten involved again at all, but I know (and I knew things were gonna blow up eventually) if I don't fix this... its gonna become my problem again anyways.

This past month or so I've had some really good breakthroughs with my therapist about my toxic coping skills, people pleasing and lack of boundaries with family members.

I feel better about things though than I ever have and now that I am standing firm with my boundaries and my convictions its been much easier for me to deal with any gaslighting or potential drama that people have tried to start up with me.

I know this got super long winded and I didn't intend for it to be as rambling and trauma dumpy as it was but - it is good to get things out and clear the air. As I feel like I sort of left an air of weirdness here for quite sometime.

Working on getting back to the things that I enjoy and stop becoming immersed in other peoples drama and things that I can't change.

I've missed you guys and crikey has Tumblr changed since I've been away. But I'm hopeful and I look forward to getting back into fandoms and gif sets and all those things I loved so much again <3

much love to you all

B

[shiraishi--kanade]

Wait so you have universal health care and also have huge medical bills??? I'm genuinely confused

Anon, you're probably American and you know what, I'm as confused about how American healthcare works and how therefore you guys imagine universal healthcare works as you are, so I'm not going to hold it against you.

But here's how it works in my country:

1. I have a heart disease. I go to a cardiologist in my city. My cardiologist takes one good look at me and says: "I'm sorry, we have nothing to help you here"- (because they lack the medical equipment, educated staff, or, in more cases than not, both). -"Here's reception contact for our state cardiology clinic, please go there."

2. So I go to the state clinic (that is located a fair distance away). They take a closer look at me, and they would treat about 60% cases that come to them, but then will also say "here's your meds and diagnosis but we don't have the equipment or staff to be 100% sure this is what's wrong. Have you considered..."

And then they refer me to a private hospital. Or a private clinic. Regardless, a private doctor, who charges their patients like everyone else does, and that pay goes up in thousands and tens of thousands for diagnostic processing or monitoring alone. And that's where I actually get my treatment. And my bills. Because regardless if you have universal healthcare or not, healthcare industry exists and will continue to exist.

State-funded healthcare (which we call free but it's not actually free, it's just paid for you by the state) will never be able to compete with the private healthcare industry because 1) the state doesn't receive any profit, and in fact only loses money on providing healthcare, 2) the state therefore does only the bare minimum to keep up with the demand, and usually doesn't necessitate enough funding to provide new technology and equipment or training, if any, 3) the medical staff, who have no equipment or training or pay, says "screw this, I'm out" and goes into the private field, where they actually have a shot at having a decent pay and working conditions.

Therefore the universal healthcare institution grows only weaker.

Is it fucked up? Yeah. Does it bring unnecessary suffering to anyone? Also yeah. But if you're any level of smart in this situation you'd just skip the first two steps and immediately go and pay to get treated properly instead of risk wasting PTO, gas and possibly your pre-existing condition flaring up to go through the routine.

And this is also why medical insurance is starting to get traction in my country with universal healthcare, because universal healthcare doesn't mean that you can get all the medical services free of charge but rather that there are options provided for you. No-one ever said these options have to not suck, especially for someone with a chronic condition. Fun!

Still better than the USA though I will admit to that.

[sojirai]

Do you guys think im gonna get reported for sending an angry message in the feedback survey when I started my payment plan to pay off the hospital that was threatening me for $76 dollars. I didn't have any threats of harm in it but I ranted about how I have expensive medicine and other more expensive bills due for psych ward and hospital stays, pulled the "my mom has expensive cancer treatment" card, that I've been denied for disability despite struggling to work due to my illnesses and needing to pay for our medicines and doctor visits and other bills all for bad pay and bad hours, and they are trying to put a collection agency on me because like 3 or 4 months ago I came in with accidental poisoning and was sent to a psych ward involuntarily because they didn't believe it was an accident and I was still sick from my liver when transported to the psych ward and needed care, which they aren't equipped for so they just shot me with zofran and I had to walk on a badly sprained ankle in there and mess it up permanently because they wouldn't let me bring my walking boot and we weren't allowed to stay in bed. And then wouldn't let me leave and charged me for my stay. After extending my stay by asking my insurance for it. I followed all procedures and was cooperative. They are a shit place and after money and insurance fraud and suck at all medicine or ill or disabled or queer people. And my insurance didn't cover all of it. That's the SECOND psych ward. But that precious $76 dollars that to ME is to afford ANTIPSYCHOTIC MEDICATION so i can WORK is so important to them. I basically just bitched them out. But i know they're whimpering bitches who get upset if you snap at them for pulling their bullshit and say you're a threat and put you on bail, so ♡

[xanadontit]

Read on for updates!

The new job is in commercial insurance which is a totally new field for me. I don't think I've mentioned it here but I have been out of work for some time. Tech and startups, man. Anyway, I was considering making a change in my search when my friend D asked if I'd consider insurance. Sure, why not? Great, because her husband (yes, That Guy) was making a move to his previous brokerage and thinks I'd be a great addition to the team. Before I knew it I had an offer and was enrolled in licensing classes. I passed my test and officially applied for my license last week. The job so far is chill; small boutique woman-owned place. Hybrid schedule with two days in the office. Pay isn't great but the benefits are outstanding and there's potential to make more money.

Speaking of the classes, I forgot how much I like school when I'm not worried about shit like the prom or in the middle of a breakdown. And the material was actually kind of interesting? Idk I had fun and am thinking about getting another insurance license and maybe one in real estate. Why not? If Heather Rae El-Moussa can sell a house why can't I?

In the midst of the job stuff and my stepmom's surgery my aunt (dad's youngest sister) passed away. She was taken off life support and cremated per her wishes; we weren't particularly close but she was a kind, gentle soul and I'm sad for my dad and his remaining siblings. Planning for her memorial has been way more complicated than it needs to be given how casual it is. There's also been a lot of "oh we can just do this ourselves" and friends? My confidence is not high. Can't wait to have to step in and make things happen then get shit for being so uptight and Type A.

MIL is coming for Thanksgiving (actually more like a week so kill me now) and after considering various logistics (all of us crammed into our house vs a hotel, etc.) my mom and stepdad and LARRY! have declined to join, which I get. Hell, I don't want to be here. E has decided to be weird about this so that's fun.

As much as lack of additional funds sucks not working fucking rules. I already miss unemployment, but I'm trying to sort out a new routine (mostly for in-office days) and ugh why didn't I marry some rich idiot from high school so I could not work allllll the time?

[thedisablednaturalist]

Watching the news and they went around in pro-trump areas and asked people if they'd prefer a dictator or 4 more years of Biden and so many people immediately went ID LOVE IF TRUMP WAS A DICTATOR I WANT HIM TO BE PRESIDENT FOREVER!!! Like they know exactly what a dictator is. They WANT him to be a dictator. They want all the powerlessness and cruelty and fascism that comes with that. Even minorities who would absolutely be victimized by that authoritarian system! Because somehow they feel exempt? Or that their loyalty will protect them somehow? Its scary. Looking into their eyes and seeing them say that with joy in their hearts. Maddening...sickening..I want to throw up.

So many people fought and died so we wouldn't be led by dictators. Protestors and suffragettes and panthers. WE ARE STILL FIGHTING. It's just like how so many fought and died to bring vaccines to isolated areas but now people easily dismiss and villanize those life-saving medications. Because they can EASILY access them and have the PRIVILEGE to go to the hospital when they eventually get sick. I'm finally able to get my covid booster and these people who HAVE INSURANCE AND CAN EASILY GET THE VACCINE refuse to. Based on what? A paper they didn't read by a disgraced and disbarred doctor? I wish I could get the vaccine using their privilege. I wish I could give all the vaccines to people who actually want them and can't get them.

Why would you think that YOU'D be safe? You'd be the exception? That Trump would see you as anything more than a tiny piece of dirt that he can exploit and grind into dust for even an inch of power. Even if you are a white, cis, abled, heterosexual, evangelical, neurotypical man. He does not care about you. And you want him to have absolute power? I thought you weren't supposed to have any other gods but you easily bow down to the first rich man to talk to you and worship him like dogs. You suck his boots and thank him for the privilege. You greedily lap up the brainwashing and act like somehow you are the rebel, the badass, for letting him use and discard you. Handing over everything to a man you've never met just because he hates the people you hate. Well he hates you too. Actually, he doesn't care enough to hate you like he does us. You're nothing to him. Not even a pawn, you're not even on the board. You excitedly praise that nazi fascist shithead like hes some kind of messiah. Because you think he'll make your life better, take from those hippie liberals and mexicans and what? Give it all to you? His supporters? He would rather give it all to fucking Biden himself than give you anything more than a sneer.

You could be on the side that's trying and bleeding to prevent suffering. That's trying to HELP YOU. That wants everyone to have a good life. That have way more in common with you than you have with that fuck. That's trying to let you keep your house and keep the air you breathe and the water you drink clean, and let you go to the doctor when you're sick and let you worship in peace but you would give that all up because not everyone wants to go to your church? That some guy wants to wear a dress? That *gasp* you might see some men kissing? That your sons and daughters might be brought up in a school that feeds them, cares for them no matter what, gives them an education FOR FREE because theres a chance they might have to sit next to a kid with brown skin? That our mission is love? You would rather fight for hate? Even if that hate is against you? You refuse the flower to take the gun and point it at yourself while the rich and powerful laugh? They don't care about God or Jesus or whoever your favorite saint is. They don't care about hard-working people (they love exploiting them though), they don't care about children or mothers or fetuses. They'll take your guns eventually and lie about praying for your murdered children. They ONLY care about themselves and will lump you in with us as soon as you're no longer useful. They don't protect Christians, good cops, kids, or unborn babies or anyone else they hide behind. They don't care that you've voted for Trump. He'd be a dictator he wouldn't have to care about anyone but himself.

[fallingsunflower]

The UK is a nightmare right now it’s £5 for a block of cheese, the government are cracking down on drug laws instead of the energy and rent crisis, and our national health service is about to collapse because the government have basically stopped paying for it. But I could never live anywhere else (except maybe a scandi country). I am so grateful that I never even think about guns, that if i saw someone in a shop with a gun i would know 100% to run and I’m not gambling with my life as to whether it’s a murderous nutter or a regular nutter who wants to open carry. I have 0 desire to go to the states and I understand everyone who wants to leave.

TW - gun violence

When I was a kid, probably a little less than 20 years ago, I was at a gas station with my mom when the guy across the pump from us was shot in the face. That's the closest I've ever been to being in danger of a gun and tbh it boggles my mind that this is a normalized thing in America. I can't imagine not having that fear. I'm scared any time a car drives passed my house and I'm outside. I hate going to crowded events or places, specifically the closer you get to NYC. I work in a school and I constantly think about my escape plan. We also have lockdown drills and staff meetings on how to increase our chances of surviving a school shooting.

Gun laws vary per state. New York is a little more strict than Texas, for example, when it comes to carrying. Texas is a whoooolleeeee other world. I visited there recently.

It pretty much sucks in the USA tbh. I'm grateful to live where I am and to have the opportunities I have (ie education, my job, my family, etc) but actually living in America is kind of terrifying. The food is designed to kill us, basically. The medical/insurance systems are corrupt. The government is also dishonest in its "two-party system". Also idk if anyone has been paying attention to the TikTok ban the US government is trying to implement but it essentially would not only band TikTok but it would allow the government access to any of our devices connected to the internet (think internet searches, iMessages, Ring doorbell, etc.).

Anyway, that's my spiel. I'm currently looking into leaving

[rhazimpulsivelyposts]

😐 like bruh I can’t help you, are you just venting to me? I can’t do anything but say “awe man I’m sorry that sucks bro “

One of my old coworker’s lives is ALWAYS falling apart bro. He never has anything happy to say when he reaches out to me.

He let our old job treat him like sht and would complain to me all the time. In that instance I complained back because that place sucked, but then I got a new job. He didn’t even try to actually get a new job until after I was leaving.

Then he gets the new job, cool is it better? It sounded better at first but then he complains it doesn’t pay enough and it’s still a lot of work. He can’t afford this or that.

His jeep got rear ended so with insurance and stuff he ended up getting a new 4Runner, which was more expensive a month. Why did you get a more expensive car if you already can’t afford shit. One time at our old job he was telling us how his house was being condemned and he needed a place to stay and needed more money , but then him and the girl he was dating took a trip to Universal, and told everyone at work about it. You can’t ask your boss for more money with a sad story and then flaunt hella money spent on happy fun time? Please see how bad that looks bro? “I had to sell my project cars to go” well that money could/should have been spent on housing no?

The girl he’s with, was with? Is with? She’s like an ex alcohol and it sounds like she’s pretty fucked up from past relationships . It almost sounded like he was one of those “I can fix her” type guys in this relationship? All I heard when we were working together is how she is probably using him for money , and how they fight a lot. Fast forward to new jobs , he tells me oh no they are GOING TO THERAPY to work it out. I’m sorry but unless I’m like 10 years deep in a marriage with someone, I’m not going to therapy to work shit out with them. I just put so much effort into my last relationship for like 2 years longer than I should have, god imagine going to therapy and being gaslit to stay even longer? Bruh you been dating her for like 2 or 3 years, if you need therapy to stay together , end the relationship.

Now he reaches out and tells me that they have been fighting , and that she accepted a job hours away and wants to break the lease and move and stick him with the bill. How do you even get in a situation like that? Like how bad did things escalate. My ♐️ and I almost broke up mid-lease , but we legit couldn’t afford it so we split up the apartment for a few months until we worked stuff out . “She just goes cold and mute and refuses to resolve the issue” bruh it kinda sounds like she’s just 100% done and the only resolve she sees is moving away. Like let her go, get her out of your life, that relationship is toxic as fck.

How does she have enough to even pick up and move “she’s been working triple and double shifts” like bruv that wasn’t sus to you? That she’s been saving up money? Maybe you also should have been saving up money! “I still have to get at parts and owe like $2k to the IRS” …why? 0.o like obvi in this situation fck the IRS, rent and a place to live comes first and the other random debts. Like how was this such a blind-side to you? If I saw my btch working hella and not spending that money or spending it on us together I’d be sussed out. If we were fighting all the time, I’d be sussed out.

I’m so thankful that I lucked out on my current job. I was so over IT and was going to leave the field and get a lower paying dispatch job. With this new IT job I can actually afford to live on my own, and I don’t need to rely on roommates or a significant other for housing arrangements.

Honestly I never want to live with another partner again 😅 or like may I’ll keep an apartment in my name or something if I ever do decide to make that leap? I don’t trust people. I don’t trust relationships not to change or end.

I’m sorry you don’t have a better job bro :/ that lets you live on your own in the economy . Or like friends or people you could have roommate situations with. I don’t know people either, I don’t go out and socialize much anymore .

It sucks that you are in this situation but you definitely put yourself in this situation by moving in with a girl you constantly fight with .

Like yeah it’s sucks bro that your house got condemned and you needed a place to stay , but why was your house in such bad condition that it was getting condemned ? Did you not have home owners insurance?

Like before our last job he said he worked at Facebook in the Oculus department and managed hella people , but that they wanted him to relocate so he took the severance package instead .

Bro if you worked at Facebook you should have a good resume and be able to get good jobs . You aren’t applying yourself enough or don’t have the full work ethic you say you do.

Why is your life constantly negative? Like trust me I complain, I complain a lot. On here, on my Snapchat, to people I know . But I always do something about it! I don’t just complain and then stay in the situation I’m complaining about.

I don’t like my partner, I leave

I don’t like my housing, I leave

I don’t like my job, I leave

Stop settling for shtty situations and then complaining that your life is shtty. Stop making bad financial decisions and then complaining that you don’t have money for sht. It’s hard to feel bad for you.

I used to feel bad for him when we worked together, because that place sucked and they treated their techs like sht, but the longer I know him after we both got new jobs the less and less I can feel bad for him because he never changes , he is always stressed out and upset and complaining about life. I think he thinks he can vent to me because I would listen to him at our old job, but that’s because we were in the same situation bro, I left .

I also left my relationship after trying too hard to settle in it.

I can’t relate to you at all anymore bro. Sorry, there is nothing I can say to you but “awe man sorry that sucks “