#and the front door had a sign!
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If I had a nickel for every time I've been mistaken for a middle schooler since becoming an adult, I'd have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice
#so i found some kid’s science notebook in a park near a middle school#and there was a lady with two younger kids nearby so i asked if it was theirs#and she said no#and followed it up with asking if i went to that middle school?#context i am 22 years old#so i was like whatever and went to the school#and the front door had a sign!#which read Ring This Bell and and Administrator Will Let You In And Get You A Visitor Pass#and so i was like shit dog i just wanna give some kid his notebook back#and then a teacher just. opened the door for me upon seeing me standing out there.#clearly assuming I was a student. of the middle school.#and yeah i just left it on the front desk after clumsily explaining that i was Not a student and i just wanted the kid to get his notebook#the other time was at my job which requires you to be 18 to work#and a cashier at the location asked if i should be in school right now#and then when i said no? how old you you think i am? said i looked 13#i was 21 then :/#if i had a nickel
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A little vent about Personal Ongoings and an attempt at exhaling.
Okay so the fridge broke the laptop went haywire the dog got sick three birthdays happened someone moved away a tree died a car broke the clothes dryer started making mysterious noises awful family fight leading to a bit of a breakdown {mental illness symptoms: increased} {physical illness thing 1 symptoms: increased} {physical illness thing 2 symptoms: got weirder????} aunt had a meltdown dog is now being weird again in a worrying way the power's gone out four times in the last week alone the "excessive heat warning" alerts are just daily annoyances by now and every time I go online or check the news there's something to piss me off on top of all that and then checking tumblr usually starts a countdown till I see a post berating the audience for not always doing everything possible to fix all the problems all the time-- BUT I have sat and breathed about the things and identified what I'm feeling and the purpose of those feelings and made some calls to professionals about the things I can't fix with a screwdriver, superglue, and duct tape, so mainly what I'm feeling right now is tired of being down and not enjoying things. That and annoyed with fridge companies for discontinuing parts from less then 5 years ago and making their service panels fucking *sharp* but that's secondary to wanting to like things again.
So I'm going to try liking things. Maybe even have some fun. Hell, maybe I'll draw again, wouldn't that be something. In any case this is not a crying post it's a fuck it I wanna ball post.
#personal#also there was a whole weird period where I guess the new mail carrier has like... never seen a mail slot with a flap before???#because the mail was just getting left outside in front of the door.#repeatedly.#I made a big [MAIL] sign and that fixed it but like there was fucking wind and shit wtf.#this is an extremely minor thing among the other things but it sure was a strange thing and I'm still thinking about it#are mail slots no longer common I have never had to consider the trendiness of my mail receptacle#other people still have mail slots right???
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
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my november nyc bday trip was so good!!!
#alex speaks#and saw storm stagedoor on the 3rd and saw her again for my bday shiw on the 4th before she was out#*show#saw all of jennys tracks for six in that week#i got to finish all of janas tracks fpr six#saw the matinee r+j on wednesday and kit and rachel didnt stage door saw six that evening so went back to the dedicated section for waiters#and got them and helped the other people behind me get theirs signed amd got called sweet by rachel for doing that#on thursday saw the outsiders in the front row and got the book at the end#missed seeing broday at the outsiders stage door cause i went to see gatsby again instead of outsiders friday#saw jordan as orpheus on sunday the 1st time i saw in thay week#and the 2nd sunday jordan was orpheus for the 1st act and brandon took over the 2nd act and i really liked that#and maia reficco came stage to go to pt but decided to sign to not make people sad since there was a cheer when she came out#and i told her she is my eurydice and got a picture with her#the thursday matinee of gatsby had car trouble which is why part of why i saw it again friday#and i saw jj niemann as marty mcfly in bttf#six the musical#six broadway#the outsiders musical#back to the future musical#hadestown#teeth the musical#r +j#the great gatsby a new musical
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i think this is possibly the best night I've had all year or maybe even in the last three years
#OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO FUN#the band was so fucking nice they signed the poster i got and gave me fistbumps as they walked off stage#i told them this is my first time ever going to a live show and they were like REALLY???????#they talked about how they can see the playlists people make out of their songs on spotify#and one of them mentioned one of ththeir favourites was named something like piratecore: bisexually coded lmao#and everyone was really nice about the wheelchair#i couldn't get in the front door (STEP) but they let me in through the side door#and Slightly early as well because i was really worried about my wheelchair's electronics in the very sudden thunderstorm that appeared#someone found me a spot so i could see and they were really really nice#i got a poster of my favourite album cover and it looks very nice#someone here was wearing the same shirt as me LMAO#i was sitting there like 'idk what to wear to this i hope i don't look weird' and then Everyone had an similar style as mine LMAO#ive never been to something like this before so i didn't really know what to wear but floral button up and rue21 cherry blossom shirt works#there were a lot of moments where the crowd was singing along which i liked bc i love to sing along to my fave songs#small bar live shows are now one of my fave things to do i think. i hope the next one i see is as fun#i definitely prefer this to an 150$ ticket stadium show or something#i nearly went to see idkhow later this year but that ticket price goddamn#mini update: i found the playlist they mentioned LMAO#piratecore? did you mean: bisexual culture
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May ✌️
#I am the peace sign girl#ofc#✧#they really cooked the (burn simulation) building this year#I put out two fires on the first floor and two on the second ; we had to open up the nozzle before even stepping thru the front door#the smoke was billowing
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that dealing with dragons post makes me crazy nostalgic every time i see it 😭 that woman taught me what cherries jubilee was
#and then......years later........in frasier episode 'the innkeepers'...............#but fr what an iconic series for ten yr olds. i remember the witch had a sign on her front door that said 'none of this nonsense' and#i still think abt it
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highest form of zookeeper torment is being behind the scenes but being able to hear through the wall as parents are blatantly feeding their children incorrect information about your animals
#snake feed days are horrendous for me. shes not venomous shes a constrictor. shes also a female.#no shes not going to bite my hand while im in her tank she is perfectly fine with people and is also currently busy eating her mouse .#NO SHES NOT VENOMOUS IT SAYS SO ON THE SIGN DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOUR FAAAACE#head in hands. zookeeper torment#and normally i would like. pop my head out the public side door and start talking to ppl abt my animals and asking if they had any question#bc i like educating like that. but also im BUSY AS FUCK AND DONT HAVE TIME TO STAND ON PUBLIC SIDE TALKING TO GUESTS TODAY.#SO I JUST HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT#UGAUAGHHHHH#i wanna go home and watch hxh and read worm and think abt . mark winters.#blahblahblah
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I really wish my apartment wasn't as depressing as it is
#i mean the studio we live in? amazong thanks to novas maximalist calling#our next door neighbor is a military guy who leaves trash rotting in the front of his apartment for weeks while hes out#every hallway is gray and repeats the same carpet and wallpaper#and lined with dead roaches#theres a laundry room with 20 washers and most of them have fallen apart. leaving a hotel sized apt complex w 7 washers#my goal was to go really hard at my barista job and save money to leave but i had a mental breakdown at work in front of management#amd never returned a month after making that ultimatum for myself#boutta sign a new lease for this place in 2 months bc my brain broke and ur not supposed to have a broke brain when ur this poor#sigh
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hey lads i keep sleeping for 12+ hours and having unsettling dreams ending in my death do you think this means anything
#i also keep waking up late in the afternoon#unsure if that's connected#anyways todays dream was that i was trapped in a giant house and there was a fire on the top floor#and I had to run down to get to the front door and outside before the entire house exploded#and I kept grabbing things and when I got downstairs my arms were so full of stuff I couldn't open the door and then the dream ended there#surely that isn't a metaphor for anything#also there were multiple instances where a guy was hit so hard his brain literally turned into a liquid soup inside his skull#also there was a weird amount of time travel#anyways I don't know what's happening and these ominous dreams probably mean nothing and definitely aren't a sign of things to come
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So I could really use some advice
#on a guy#if he actually likes me#because i'm really oblivious and i can't tell for sure from any signs he might give#but there could be a lot of signs 😂#so if anyone can help me out or tell me your opinion 🙈#it's a guy i go to uni with and had a class with we're now friends and hang out a lot ☺️ but maybe it could become sth more...#well i really like him he's so nice fun to be around easy to talk to and so supportive 🥰#actually i think i never liked a guy like him 🥺 because all the things i'm scared or worried about in a relationship are less so with him..#and i think maybe it really could work while otherwise i often just wanna 'escape' not literally but you know#so we saw each other a lot lately like every week or more often than once a week#and he also texts me a lot or just randomly called me to ask me things or make plans :)#he just send me a youtube video link i need to look at it later 😄#when we meet we always hug as a greeting and goodbye 🥹#also he had a gf until april so i'm not sure if he'd be ready already but anyway#and we always talk about lots of things and he's so interested in what i have to say#we onced talked for like two hours in front of the door at night 😂#when we meet and go eat something he always pays for me and i kinda feel bad about it 😅#because it must cost him so much money so last time at the cinema i insisted to pay haha#and he finds it really cool that i play tennis and didn't mind i spend so much time doing it#bc i met some guy who didn't so much because it meant i have less time to see him ig#but that's really respectful#and he always compliments me about so many things#also once we took a selfie together which i then sent him and he was like that he's unphotogenic on it unlike me#which i didn't know how to react because i never look photogenic#so i was like “noo that's not true i'm the most unphotogenic person ever normally”#and he was like “i can’t believe that” which i don't see but 😂#and yeah he played tennis with me after i asked him if he wanted and he also always offers me his help#when i was decorating my room if i need help with carrying or he often wants to carry my bag#and he sent me old childhood pictures of him and just funny one so did i then#he also sent me one of the sweetest good luck messages before i played a tennis match for my club 🥹
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to be quite honest i'm not entirely over having my teenage body scrutinized and deemed overly scandalous and inappropriate at various times by insane staff and faculty in evangelical high school for existing in leggings or a dress. just things i'm thinking upon and getting enraged over this nye. imagine having a normal body image
#couldn't wear leggings or tight pants in the cult school and once was pulled aside by a male teacher who told me my shirt was too low#(the shirt had literally been given to me by the dorm dean) full offense but i hope he dies painfully#and then at the next (liberal by adventist standards) school had dress check every fri night and sat morning to go to mandatory church#in last two years had a fully evil head dean who pulled me aside on my way to sunday breakfast to look at my ass and tell me no one wanted#to see that and when we had (also mandatory) 'banquets' instead of prom she told me at the (mandatory) dress precheck that the dress i#borrowed was too tight around the armpits (?) and i needed to fix it (i just hiked it up higher when i had to walk past her to leave and#she didnt notice) i dont even remember what kind of dress it was#this woman was so cartoonishly evil. people whose skin i would rip off and burn in front of them#also if i were skinny u know none of these evil motherfuckers would have looked twice#i literally will never be able to afford enough therapy to fix the damage these people + my mother did to my self image....anyway#oh plus purity culture..........wow its crazy how my eating habits are abnormal idk why#i hate adventists sm#wait im not done. this woman also put up a sign on the front doors of the dorm about how us girls have to 'protect the men of our campus'#by not wearing leggings etc. die in a fire. ok im done#me#ed tw#(?) just in case#ex sda
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It’s kinda funny when someone thinks I’m into England related stuff for hetalia reasons cause that is blatant erasure of my 2013-2016 bbc sherlock obsession (and a bit of dr who). Hetalia is not how this started I’m just stepping up my game from simping for british actors and british characters to simping for the goddamn country of britain itself. or himself.
#riva.psnl#hetalia#just a thought I had last night and only now found a way to express it#also this is brought to you by me opening the drawer with bedsheets and noticing I have one with the Union Jack#one with images of london#and a rug with the Union Jack#(that goes unused atm)#and a ‘welcome’ door mat in front of my bedroom that is also England themed#oh and the 221b sign on the door#and some other stuff I guess#but like. this is not something that started here it’s just that none of the friends I made in the last 2 years here knew me during that#time. the people who I became friends with them are on instagram XD
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.
#you wanna know what i fucking did today?#cleaned inside my freezer. outaide of my fridge. did the dishes. dusted the blinds#cleaned the bathroom sink. took all stuff off the walls. cleaned the microwave. cleaned my bedroom window#cleaned the kitchen baseboards. under the fridge. under the oven#packed up my art supplies and some clothes#cleaned my bathroom door. front door. wiped my bedroom walls. cleaned the bathroom floor#cleaned my stove top. tidied my bedroom floor. and listed my dresser in two facebook sell groups#all within about 2.5 hours#isnt that fuckin wild?? im so tired#oh and i sold my table. i had to get up early for that. and i went for a walk to get a fun little drink#my apartment is starting to get pretty empty. furniture is going and stuff is getting packed into bins. its wack#i need to put my shit furniture by the dumpster. isnt it lovely how we put furniture by the dumpster so others can take it#i mean. the sign by mine says not to put furniture in it. so maybe its just some malicious compliance by putting it next to the dumpster#but ive heard that furniture goes next to the dumpster so that others can take it. thats where i got my desk and my mirror#im gonna miss my desk. its so cute and i love it. but i dont have space. i dont mind getting rid of the other furniture tho#its shit furniture from estate sales that i bought out of necessity#now someone can have my shit furniture if they want it#its kind of fun to see my apartment get emptier and cleaner tho. my moving time is coming up and im so excited#its wild to look at the list of shit i cleaned today. i made a list in my notebook so i could keep track of what i was doing#and its really satisfying to cross stuff off of a list. it takes up almost a whole page length#im exhausted now tho. that was a lot of fucking cleaning#okay bye
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do you ever not dream for extended amounts of time then the one time you do dream it’s really fucking vivid
#bc i barely dream but i just had the most fucking vivid dream of my life dude#so i was in this old woman i don’t knows house and it was modernly decorated she had carpet beige walls etc#she also had white and pink tulle hang drying from her ceiling like halfway down on the whole second floor#i couldn’t get to her top floor either i was literally restricted to the first and second floor#anyways so i go really slowly to her room since i couldn’t move fast and her room is normal it has a bed; typical grandmother stuff#i go to leave and i notice she has this closet where it’s like a reading nook?#it’s insanely dark inside the closet; you could tell it was shallow but no light was getting in at all. in front of the entrance there was#a curtain of green plush bats hung upside down instead of a door; in the style of those baby plushes. in front of them also was a sign that#read “your child is reading upside down!” at taht point i could make out small details and a lot of things like a wood chair were hung upsi#upside down.#she was also communicating with me through tumblr but not directly to me; vaguely about me with her two teenage daughters#it was odd and really vivid and the second dream i’ve had like that except last time there was no pink and white tulle drying everywhere#sodaramblestoomuch#if you read all that thank you i feel sorry for you
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