#my goal was to go really hard at my barista job and save money to leave but i had a mental breakdown at work in front of management

[uuuvas]

I really wish my apartment wasn't as depressing as it is

[winryofresembool]

Caleo fic: It’s all about the name

Chapter 6 (aka final ch)

Summary: Calypso is a barista at a coffee shop and one day she gets a customer who refuses to give her his real name. At first he seems really annoying but eventually Calypso finds out not all is what it looks like on the surface. (Coffee shop AU!)

a/n: Woop, finally it's time to finish this fic! It took way longer than I anticipated but hey, I'm still pretty happy I did it.

Thank you once again everyone who has supported me both here and on ao3, and special thanks goes to @caldez for the headcanons because without you this fic wouldn't exist!

Once more, I hope you guys enjoy, and please leave a comment if you like this! And keep your eyes open for a twlitf update soon enough because I am continuing to work on it again tomorrow! I've missed that universe a lot.

Words: 1700+

Genre: fluff, humor

Warnings: some slight *ahem* implications (just implications though)

previous chapter / AO3

...

A few weeks later, Leo was leaning against the familiar counter again while he was watching Calypso work. For once he didn’t interrupt her, instead quietly waiting for her to stop her work for the day so he could tell her what he had in his mind. Well, not entirely quietly; his fingers were tapping impatiently against the smooth surface, and eventually Calypso decided that she needed to ask him to stop because she could see some of the other customers giving him dirty looks. Not that she could call him a customer anymore; after the day when Leo had finally revealed his name and she had asked him out, they had been on several dates and things were going pretty well between them.

At first Calypso had been worried that she had been too fast in her decision to ask him out, but after a while she had realized that Leo’s company was exactly what she needed. Not because she /needed/ to have a boyfriend, but because his company made her happy. They could talk about anything and everything between the earth and sky, they had a lot of fun even when they were bickering about whether blueberry cake was better than strawberry cake - which wasn’t a feeling she had known in the past - and most importantly, they understood each other. Both were loners who had some bad experiences with people who were important to them and both were trying to figure out what they wanted to do with their lives. And despite the mischievous surface, Calypso already knew that Leo was someone she could trust to keep his word. She could see it from for example the way he interacted with his work ‘family’ (Calypso had caught Leo calling Georgie his sister the other day when she had quickly dropped by at the garage), how dedicated he was in achieving his goals and how he still showed up at the coffee shop almost every day despite being busy.

“Leonidas,” Calypso had managed to make Leo confess his full first name and now she used it every time she wanted to chastise him. “You may be my boyfriend now…” The b-word made Leo grin widely. “... But I’m still going to have to ask you to try to be quieter because some of our customers don’t like the drumming.”

“Sunshine, not the Leonidas! That’s so cruel,” Leo fake complained. “I was just deep in my thoughts and you know I can’t help it with my random movements while I’m thinking…”

“Fine, then,” Calypso gave in. “What were you thinking?”

“How shiny your hair looks in this light…” Leo said with a low voice.

“Leo… please leave that talk to my off hours,” Calypso scolded him but couldn’t help but blush a bit.

“Okay, Coffee Princess,” he said but suddenly got more serious. “Listen, I do have some actual news for you. I just don’t want to tell it right now that you’re working.”

Calypso checked the clock. “Then you’re going to have to wait maybe 15 more minutes because I still need to take care of a few things once we have closed.”

“No problem. I can wait because Patience is my middle name,” Leo claimed.

“Leonidas Patience Valdez?” Calypso eyed him suspiciously. “Soon you’ll tell me that actually your name is Theophrastus Bombastus or something like that.”

That gave Leo a new idea. “Ooh, should we start a new game? Guess my middle name?” he asked enthusiastically.

“No,” Calypso said immediately. “I think we’ve had enough name games for a while. But maybe some other time.” Her mouth twitched a bit as she said that.

“Oh, alright,” Leo hid his disappointment quickly. “Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be waiting for you outside once you’re done.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. And hey, just to be clear: I wouldn’t care even if your name really was Bad Boy Supreme. You’re still my weird but pretty great boyfriend.” Calypso smiled at him before he raised from his spot and waved her a goodbye.

... A bit later, Calypso joined Leo by a car he had recently obtained. It wasn’t the newest or fanciest but Leo had worked hard to make it function and even Jo had admitted he had done a great job with it. After getting the car Leo had taken a habit to drop Calypso to her apartment after her workshift so they had some extra time to talk - and more - which in Calypso’s opinion was a pretty sweet gesture, even if the make out sessions inside the small car sometimes got a little uncomfortable.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” Calypso asked when she was fastening her seatbelt.

“What… what would you say about working at Waystation?” Leo wanted to know, looking at the road instead of her.

“Huh? Cars aren’t exactly my area of expertise,” Calypso noted, wondering where he was going with his question.

“No, I don’t mean the car side,” he responded, shaking his head a little. “You do know that Emmie has a flower shop in the building as well, right? The thing is, she is getting closer to her retirement and an extra hand wouldn’t hurt her. I know you like gardening, and who knows, you might learn a thing or two from her. She knows a /lot/, trust me. You’ve told me you don’t really like it at the coffee shop so when I heard her talking about hiring someone to Jo… I was like, I gotta let Calie know about this.”

“So… did you already tell her I could be interested?” Calypso asked.

“No, because I didn’t know how you would feel about it. I think it’s better if you contact her personally; Emmie isn’t the kind of person who hires someone just because she happens to be her employee’s girlfriend,” Leo stated, and based on the earlier stories Calypso had heard of her, she could easily imagine that he was right.

“Yeah. That makes sense.” Calypso nodded. “I wouldn’t want to be hired for that reason anyway.”

“You already have a lot of experience in customer service and you’re interested in flowers and stuff so I feel like you could have a good chance,” Leo said, glancing at her briefly. “I mean… if you want to, of course! I don’t know for sure…”

“I’d love to!” Calypso exclaimed before Leo had time to finish his sentence. “At this point anything beats making a thousand cups of coffee per day. And, well, I suppose getting to see a certain someone during the breaks would be an added bonus,” she added sneakily. “I will make sure to contact her soon. Thanks for letting me know!”

“You’re welcome,” Leo replied. “I’ll have my thumbs up for you, babe.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t quite all, though,” Leo said after a while. “I’ve told you about my friend Piper, right? Well, she sings in a band and she knows a lot of people who play and study music as well… They have a gig nearby tomorrow evening and as it happens, I’m not working then so if you happen to have time… would you like to go and see them? And maybe we can meet with Piper and the others afterwards? I just thought, you once said you had enjoyed singing and playing but you had to stop… Well, maybe this could be your chance to get reacquainted with music. She could probably give you some tips too.”

“Do you think she would be OK with it? I mean, helping me out?” Calypso inquired.

“Oh, for sure!” Leo reassured her. “To be honest, she has been quite curious about you ever since I told her I have a girlfriend - it’s almost like she doesn’t actually believe I have one - so I bet she’d be excited to meet you.”

“Um, there’s one small thing, though…” Calypso noted. “You know Reyna, my coworker? From what I’ve gathered, she used to have a major crush on a guy named Jason, who coincidentally is now dating a girl named Piper. And I’m quite sure we are talking about the same Piper now because it’s not that common a name. Maybe I should ask Reyna first how she feels about me hanging out with her before I promise anything...”

“Ouch… Yeah, maybe you should. I don’t wanna cause issues between you and your friend.” Leo agreed.

“But hey, thanks for asking.” Calypso briefly lowered her left hand on Leo’s right one that was resting on the gear stick. “I’d like to meet your friends at some point, for sure. And I’ve never been to a concert so I would definitely love to see one!”

“You’ve never been to a concert?” Leo asked, looking surprised.

“No,” Calypso shrugged. “That was another one of those things that was a waste of time according to my father. But hey, there’s no one to stop me now!”

“That’s my girl. And I can promise that if you decide to go, you would have a decent company too.” Leo grinned at her.

“Hmmm… I still need to be convinced about that…” Calypso teased him. She wondered when she had become someone who flirts and jokes but she assumed that was the effect of the ‘Bad Boy Supreme’.

“Oh, I will convince you, alright,” Leo promised. Calypso couldn’t help but blush when she thought about the implications behind his words.

“OK, as long as we make it to my place first.”

A comfortable silence fell between the couple as Calypso took in everything they had just discussed. The more she thought about it, the more clearly she saw what she wanted to do with her future. She’d save money at a place that she was quite positive she would prefer over the coffee shop, hopefully find a way to get reacquainted with music - maybe with Piper’s help, maybe some other way - and eventually start studying whatever she felt passionate about. Maybe certain things would take a while to happen, but she was on the right path, and why would she have to rush anywhere when she had people like Leo by her side?

[heliosism]

ACCESSING FILE: 𝒿𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝓋𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓇 (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑜𝓈) — INTRODUCTION.

⌊ dua lipa, cisfemale, perses ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to JADE VANDERMEER recently? the TWENTY-THREE year old who’s been in seneca for SIX MONTHS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of YELLOW EYESHADOW, LOUD FEELGOOD MUSIC, SUNNY DAYS, GLITTER whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty SIMPATICO, but they can also be FIERY.

*shaking from the caffeine from the coffee i mentioned in my first character’s intro* okay, home stretch! just one more intro and i can get to interactions! ICYMI, my name is jess. i was late around here but i’m pumped to get started! my second and final muse is jade. another pre-existing muse revamped for this group. she’s like the polar opposite of ricky & i love her, so i hope you do too!

p.s. some cool info:

my discord is @ soft aries#7087 if you prefer to plot there! if not, IMs is fine

jade’s pinterest board can be found here!

BACKGROUND

jade is the daughter of two business-people. the pair of them strict & straight as a line for her whole childhood. she was born in seattle, but since her father is dutch (hence her last name) and her mother is albanian, the family spent a lot of time travelling to their respective homelands, which was just about the most fun she had as a child. when at home in baltimore, she was kept under close supervision as her parents were the typical snobby, superficial semi-wealthy types and way too overprotective.

leaving the states for long periods at a time made it somewhat hard for jade to keep a friendship group, so she found fun in things that she could do alone like painting, writing and music.

but this wasn’t the most satisfying thing in the world for a child so extroverted. she was a people person from birth and just wanted to be surrounded by other people. luckily, when she reached high school, the family’s travelling out of the country settled down a little

of course, around this time is when she developed a taste for fun. she wanted to hang out and go to parties and stuff like a normal teenager but again, her parents were still being way too strict & sheltering her. this was the beginning of her disconnect from her parents. it wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful for them & their financial support but their overprotective ways were... a lot.

after graduating high school, she was off to study at a seattle university. the kicker was, though, that her parents had pushed her to study business so she could follow in their footsteps. but this wasn’t something she was passionate about — and jade ended up dropping out.

scared to face her parents after this bold move they wouldn’t approve of, she became a bit of a vagabond, couch-surfing at her friends’ places for a while and just contacting her parents every now and then. she had a barista job, so she could always help out her friends with rent, but after a couple years she decided couch-surfing was no way to live and wanted a new start. 

in a rather dramatic and impulsive move, she ran away to new york with nothing but some savings and one suitcase of belongings, keeping this from her parents. 

she got to seneca about 6 months ago, bagging herself a tiny little apartment. no longer reaping the benefits of her parents support, she struggled for money, so she picked up two jobs. luckily, though, she found two that she enjoyed: one as a bartender, gaining her the thing she loves the most: the opportunity to meet people. the other as an assistant in an art studio, organizing supplies and overseeing sales for the artists. 

in her spare time, she’s creating her own paintings. her signature color in her portraits is yellow, as she aims to create work that makes people happy. her goal is to become an independent artist and get her work in galleries.

despite being 23, jade has decided to reward herself a second adolescence, since her mom and dad were too strict to really allow her one. when she’s not working, she’s focusing a lot of her time on partying, having fun and making mistakes and learning from them. maybe she needs a reality check, but she’s not willing to acknowledge that yet.

PERSONALITY

introducing little miss god(dess) of the sun. bright, warm & fiery.

impulsive and unpredictable, she’s one of those extroverts that can become draining to be around after a while. she’s so talkative and excitable, a little too much. your muse may find her annoying or endearing depending on what they’re like

very all or nothing. doesn’t like to half-ass things. v determined and inspired at all times

a bicon (again, shocker)

hopeless romantic, idealist / optimist, quixotic type. obviously, this is why she believed she could pull off running away in the first place

can be a lil intense but is high-key lovely, v sweet and sociable. 

she has a very strong personality and can be a bit of a liability. does a lot of things she regrets. doesn’t always think before she speaks

i’m gonna stop here bc i reallllly wanna jump into some interactions but hmu for plots !!

[canaryatlaw]

ok, long but good day. woke up to my alarm at 7:45, got up and got dressed, stuck the last of my toiletries in my suitcase and got an uber to the airport. Got there about 8:45, which was my goal time, so I was happy about that. got through security no problem, something I was like low key nervous about because I had originally thought the Real ID law going into effect meant I needed an enhanced driver’s license to use as ID, but I did a bunch of online research and knew that wasn’t the case, but was still a little worried about lol. I walk to my gate, which is allllll the way at the very end of the terminal. there’s a starbucks there, so I order a breakfast sandwich and a drink. I keep making the mistake of thinking that if a drink is on the app’s mobile ordering menu the barista will know how to make it, when that is clearly not the case. I asked for a “violet drink” which is the equivalent of “pink drink” but made with the berry hibiscus refresher instead of the strawberry acai refresher. but the cashier didn’t know what I was talking about so I just ended up with a normal berry hibiscus refresher 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh well. I sat for a while and used the free wifi while charging my phone on the conveniently located outlets, and in not too long they were boarding. My zone gets called, I swipe my boarding pass on my phone, and the lady is like “you’re good- oh wait no you’re not” because the machine was saying there was something wrong with my boarding pass and she was like “are you on standby?” and I was like....no....I bought this ticket a month ago I’m not on fucking standby. so she has me come around to the front of the desk and wait while she gets other people on the plane, where there are apparently other people waiting who also had boarding pass issues. At this point I’m fairly ticked off, and if I somehow don’t get on that plane I’m mentally planning what I can threaten to sue them over (clearly breach of contract, they made false promises that I relied upon to my detriment and I should be able to collect damages for the ticket prices and waste of my time), but then she types some things into the computer and gives me a paper boarding pass with a different seat number (which was exactly 5 rows in front of my original one). So I’m just like hey whatever, I don’t really care, just let me get on the plane, and if I don’t have to threaten to sue anybody than that’s good. So I boarded and got settled, opened the in flight magazine to see what sudoku they had going, they had easy and hard kenken puzzles, both of which I completed before the plane even pulled away from the gate 😂 (hashtag expert status) and I made pretty fast work of the easy sudoku puzzle before pulling out my phone and reading some fanfic I put on there forever, and then I was gonna start the stuff I loaded on it last night, but ended up wanting to reread one of Jess’ longer fics, and that pretty much took the rest of the time of the flight, lol. We landed at 1:30 NY time, I get off the plane and get my bag just fine, I’m texting my mom about where to meet her and I literally walk out of the airport just to see my mom driving by and I’m like, waving furiously trying to get her attention but NOPE she just keeps driving and I’m just like DAMMIT because if you’re familiar with laguardia airport you know they’re currently doing a massive construction project that has been making everyone’s life hell, so she had to do another full loop around to get back to where I was, which took another like, 15 minutes. So I finally get in the car and we start the drive home, my mom randomly pulls off the highway to this little town in search of somewhere she can get a green tea latte (which is apparently her thing now) and we end up in this adorable little place that’s billed as a coffee and ice cream shop but has a whole lot of interesting food options like fancy grilled cheeses and an assortment of belgian waffle flavors. And if you know me you know I’m obsessed with well-made belgian waffles, so I got a “churro�� flavored one which was made with cinnamon in the batter, then topped with cinnamon sugar and vanilla ice cream, and damn I was pretty much in heaven. so we go back to the car and finish the drive home, pretty soon after we get there my mom has to take my sister to her therapy appointment (apparently she’s doing much better now than earlier in the year and my parents are very happy about it) so I was mostly alone and just did stuff on my computer for a while. eventually people returned and we decided to order pizza for dinner because my mom hadn’t been to the store and didn’t have anything to bake, so I called that in and the delivery guy came, and there was a very awkward exchange during which I was just standing there with the door open holding the collar of our golden retriever so he didn’t go run and jump on the delivery guy (he’s totally harmless, but he’s rather big and I know some people would not appreciate being jumped on) while my mom went upstairs to get money out of the sock (where my parents stash their cash) to pay for the pizza lol. But we got the pizza and paid for it successfully, and I put my piece under the broiler for a few minutes so the cheese gets nice and crispy and I’m in pizza heaven. dad comes home pretty soon and my mom pulls out some anchovies she was apparently saving for him (my favorite topping combo is pepperoni and anchovies, but I can’t really have pepperoni now so it just ends up being anchovies) so I had my second piece with them and it was very enjoyable. After dinner we just kind of chilled, me still on my laptop and the parents watching HGTV or whatever while the other siblings kind of milled about, and that ended up being out it for the night. we figured out train schedules to get me to the city tomorrow, the interview is at 11 and it’s about a 20 minute subway ride from penn station, so I’m gonna take the 8:30 train that gets in at 9:56 so I’ll surely have enough time to get there, even if everything goes haywire and I end up having to just hop in a cab or an uber (I’ve successfully navigated New York’s subway system before, once you’ve mastered one you can really figure out all of them, so I don’t expect anything to go wrong). the interview is supposed to last a little over an hour, and then I can take the train back home. It’s still been on my mind all day about whether it’s a job I want to take or not (assuming I get offered the job of course) and as much as it pains me to admit it because I’ve really, really liked my life in Chicago lately, I know this is the best opportunity for me and it’d be foolish not to take it when I don’t have any other possible offers or even interviews for any other job period, much less any job that actually deals with children. and like, I could make a job in a similar field like domestic violence work for a few years, but my heart wouldn't be in it (I mean, for DV in particular it is a cause I’m very much invested in so I would have my heart in it, but not the same way it’d be when it comes to kids where I really want to be) and it’d just be passing time until I can get hired at a job with kids. Right now I’m not crazy about the idea of being close to my family, even though they obviously REALLY want me back, and at one point in the past year I was convinced that it’s what I wanted to do and I probably accidentally got their hopes up on it, something has shifted, I don’t know what, but I’m not quite in that frame of mind anymore. I guess part of it is realizing that if I took this job in the city I don’t really have a group of friends there and I’m scared about being lonely, especially when my friend situation has been so great lately. So I don’t know. I think if it gets offered I’ll probably feel obliged to take it, but then I just have this overwhelming sense of foreboding of my time in Illinois and my time living this awesome life I’ve been living is going to be over, and like, that really sucks. But that’s about all I gotta say on that subject. Another thing worth noting that happened today though was I convinced my parents to pay, as my birthday gift, for me and Jess to go to Collective Con in Florida the weekend right before my birthday, because Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford are going to be there and we *obviously* need to take advantage of this and be able to experience seeing them as a couple outside of the show. I was pretty sure I could get my dad to go for it if I framed it right, so I looked up flights to make sure I got the absolute best prices (which were unfortunately still like $500 a pop, but there were ones that were much worse) and identified an airbnb and convention passes to give him a final number because I know that he’s more likely to approve stuff like that if I frame it the right way. So that’s gonna be coming up at the end of the month and I am SUPER psyched about that, we’re gonna fly out Friday morning and come back Monday morning, which is my birthday, and also the night “I, Ava” airs, then in two weeks we have C2E2 and HVFF Chicago, so it’s basically gonna be the best time ever and hopefully I won’t start flunking all of my classes because of it. But yeah, that was mostly my day. Hopefully tomorrow will go well. I’m always trying to think of questions to ask them because I know in job interviews they want you to have questions, but I always end up defaulting to like “what’s your favorite part about working here?” which I feel is kinda lame, so if any of you have ideas on that front, please hit me up with them by tomorrow morning lol. It’s almost 1:30 am now though and I have to be up at 7, so it is definitely time for me to go to bed. Goodnight my lovelies. Happy Friday.

[eminperu]

On the Value of Being Challenged: Defining my ideals through one million rhetorical questions (sorry)

“We’re afraid she’s not being challenged enough.” I think the first time this phrase was applied to me, an examiner pulled it out of a very standard toolbox for talking about kids like me, at a conference regarding my placement exam results for entrance into the gifted program. To be fair, it was also a sugar-coated explanation of why Mrs. Meyer couldn’t stand my arrogant first grade ass (in my defense, she refused to call on me in class anymore because I KNEW THE ANSWERS. Yeah, Mrs. Meyer, let’s not go to Applebee’s when we’re hungry BECAUSE THERE IS FOOD THERE). It’s also the justification I learned to rely on when I didn’t do stuff because I didn’t want to do stuff, like the time I tested out of Mrs. Whitsell’s math class because she played too much Enya and favored the boys, or got sent out into the hallway in fifth grade for working ahead in the book during the lesson (that was a terrible punishment, I finished my work in a cool ten and chatted with people passing by). Let me be clear, I know I’m not anything special—Berkeley made sure I knew that. But even though I’m no Cindy Crawford (guys, she studied chemical engineering at Northwestern with a reported IQ of 154, check your biases), being “smart” has been arguably the most central and defining characteristic I have. While I’m not sure I’ve always felt adequately academically “challenged” in all my pursuits, I’ve also never worried that I was not developing myself in some way. [Warning: I’m not going to try to be modest in this post. I’m trying to honestly reflect, so just deal with it.]

This week (and by this week I mean the week I started writing this post a month ago…eek), I’ve had two coworkers from my last school tell me about a few students who have said really nice things about how much they missed me. Both of the students are absolute rascals, the kind who really hated school until the year I had them in my class. I love those kids. I love knowing that I excel at forming relationships and reaching “behavior” kids. I remember when Jason finally got an 89% on one of my science tests last year and bought in. I remember how excited Deon would get to do a job for me (run a note that said “Mr. Fields please make Deon do something physical for the next eight minutes then send him back”) as a reward for sitting through a whole guided reading. I know I’m a good teacher. I use my creativity and my intelligence every second of every day, topped maybe only by empathy and ability to connect with people. For the last four years, I’ve also clung to the self-righteous smug cloud I get from saying I am a teacher in low-income schools. Teachers work hard, plus I get an element of altruism when I drop the zipcode of the schools I teach in. Apparently, “teacher” has burrowed its way into my identity in a pretty significant way. Is teaching my thing? Is helping people my thing?

I know work ethic isn’t my thing. I know that. I’ve never been one to happily do things for sake of doing them—generally speaking, I’m about the destination and the journey can go fuck itself (is it starting to become apparent what Mrs. Meyers was on about?). But I do like to do things that matter. And I do like for people to think I am smart and capable. Does that mean I need to be challenged to feel successful? Do I find intrinsic value in completing tasks that I deem worthy?

It seems fair to say I couldn’t really know if I valued being challenged until I felt I wasn’t anymore. Teaching used every single bit of my mental and emotional energy and drew on all of my skills (threw a lot of my weaknesses in my face as well, to be honest). Now, my VIP Kid lessons don’t even require me to view them before teaching them and, while I think bartending definitely draws on a a lot of my strengths, it also isn’t exactly a high cognitive workload. I find myself jumping to grasp those little moments—when my manager says I can do my job better than him, when my teaching boss jokes that my half-sarcastic corrections of him will either get me fired or promoted on my first day, when my 15-year-old tutee loses his shit over finding out that I went to Berkeley—this self-satisfaction at proving my intelligence to others seems a little new and a lot douchey.

Working from home rocks, but it also kind of sucks. I wake up, I teach online, then it’s 9 am and I have the rest of my day ahead of me. My fingers seem to automatically begin to take me to Netflix or Facebook after my grueling three hour workday. I enjoy watching Friends. I like laying out in the park. But why would I feel so much more accomplished if I had reorganized all my clothes? Or painted a picture? If I had completed a full day’s work (not just a few hours), I think I’d feel totally justified in not accomplishing anything “productive” afterwards. I didn’t anticipate that how I chose to spend this precious free time I dreamed about, talked about, moved 6,000 miles away for, would ever affect that drastically how I see myself. And let’s be clear that 6pm-on-a-Thursday-still-at-school-Emily would backhand me for even THINKING of complaining.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m pretty happy here. I have made a lot of friends and my time is 100% my own. With that, though, comes a lot of time to think. I want to make sure my time here is balanced and I leave feeling like I got something out of it. I got a couple in-person teaching jobs because, for fuck’s sake, I need to put on pants and leave the house before 7pm–also, they hand teaching jobs out like candy here if you look like you speak English. And I feel really satisfied after those lessons, although I’m teaching people with loads of money that want to use their English to make more money. However, I have to limit myself. I started working 10-11 hour days just because I could. I partially came here to write, and I did a whole lot more of that in Europe than I seem to be getting done here. I also applied for a really simple writing job and didn’t get it, which sucked. There could have been a million reasons why, but I had to submit a short writing sample so I’m guessing I’ve subconsciously swallowed this pass as a failure and am letting it sit heavy in my stomach (and confidence). I’ve started a book, but I also found that any grant applications I can submit won’t be due for quite a while (and would commence the following year). I’m scared I don’t have the self-motivation to pursue the things I love with the vigor they require. I could see myself easily falling into a pretty content life of teach, nap, cook, bartend, repeat. Is that enough? Before this year, I would have said yes. Here I am in this bratty millennial dilemma: wanting to be recognized for being exceptional; but lounging in the comfort of not putting myself out there for something I’m sure someone smarter/more diligent will get. Another factor at play: if I were able to live this lifestyle in San Francisco around all my best friends and the all-around greatest people in the world, I may feel differently. I’ve always thought that relationship-based—not not achievement-based success—appealed to me. As long as the people I love are happy and involved in my life, I’m happy. Of course, I say say that while also having always pretty much achieved things in a linear, predictable, and temporally-appropriate manner.

The flip side of this is that it’s kind of cool to be working just for money now. Before, I was teaching and the factor stopping me from blowing all my money was being too tired, not not having it. I saved a bit, and it really wasn’t a concern, priority, or consideration (especially not when deciding what line of work to go into, obviously). Now, I measure how many activities I should do based on what I made that day. “Nah, I don’t wanna buy those jeans, that’s three VIP KID classes!”

Basically, in summary, I take issue with the phrase “Find your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life.” My last job was fulfilling beyond measure, but it necessitated that I work my ASS OFF each and every day. I think I may have placed myself in a paradox—doing what I love makes it so I can’t enjoy my life, but if I don’t do it I won’t feel fulfilled.

This is dumb. I came here to bartend, be a barista, sherpa some alpacas, sleep in and workout. Fuck feeling fulfilled, right? Ugh, what’s that whole thing with the grass being green, again? Anyway, back to Neflix.

Goals: CARVE OUT MY WRITING TIME AND HOLD MYSELF TO IT. Make a plan for what will make me feel productive during my week at home. Keep eating healthy and working out (I have made time for that, and that feels good).

Updates: My friend Feras visited and I finally go to travel around Peru! Cusco was absolutely beautiful, a quaint history-rich town splayed up and down the Andes mountains. The architecture, the air, the size—it was a welcome break from Lima. I was also taking on A LOT of classes and shifts at the bar, so it was similarly a welcome break from working. Machu Picchu was absolutely incredible as was our dinner at Maido; I’ll post about those soon.

I’m headed back to Kansas for about three weeks to see my (whole!!) family and I’m so excited. I think the reset will be really nice. I’m going to hold myself accountable to reflecting on my experience so far and channeling that into a productive life plan for the next few months (even if that plan means staying largely unproductive).

[epchapman89]

Do Androids Dream Of Electric Flat Whites?

When we talk about “what’s next” for coffee, rarely does that conversation center on the barista. They are the unchangeable constant across coffee in all its forms—a living, breathing human who manages the machines, the “mano” in the “mano, miscela, macchina” upon which the espresso tradition was built. A human, standing behind a machine, waiting to serve coffee to the world: that’s a barista.

At least, it used to be.

Cafe X—started by 23-year-old college dropout Henry Hu—seeks to automate the making and serving of specialty coffee. But unlike, say, BRIGGO, the HAL-like coffee behemoth at the University of Texas we visited in 2012, Hu has created a singular, multi-articulate robotic arm to do the work of mankind. Equal parts auto factory crane and the spindly arm you’d use to pull stuffed animals from an arcade machine, Hu’s robo-barista is scary smart, and it’s part of a trend that seeks to rewrite the rules of coffee service as we know it.

The San Francisco location of Cafe X (the other one is in Hong Kong) is tucked into a dimly lit alcove near a frozen yogurt stand and the stairs on the bottom floor of the Metreon shopping center. A medium-sized fiberglass enclosure encircles the robotic arm and its necessary accoutrements. The only human presence is a cheery Cafe X-employed attendant, there to assist you in the process and soften the strangeness of ordering your coffee from a robot.

You have two options: order the coffee through the touch screen, or download the Cafe X app and order through your phone. My cheery attendant—a sort of sherpa through the uncanny valley—explained that their app functionality allows customers to order while on their way to Cafe X, assuring prompt delivery of the finished drink. I chose to download it and was quickly ordering a flat white built on Verve Coffee Roasters espresso.

There before me lay the robot arm, swinging gracefully around its small workstation—grabbing a cup, placing the cup under one of the two espresso machines, and waiting to receive a union of espresso and milk. When the drink is done the machine places it off to the side and you sidle up to the touchscreen, tap in a code sent to your phone, and the coffee descends down a circular elevator into an LED-lit receiving area.

It is, quite frankly, the entire process of purchasing a coffee beverage with the human aspect left on the cutting room floor. The machine does its work without emotion, or error, or expectation of compensation. It is servile and efficient as only a programmed device can be.

During my experience, a few other curious customers approached the robot. Some laughed nervously, others snapped photos, but for the most part they stood quietly, in awe of automation at work. The coffee itself was good—the milk smooth and not terribly hot, the shot of espresso thick and flavorful. My flat white was a drink that could’ve been made by a living, breathing human, and a skilled one at that.

The coming rise of automation is a hot topic right now, driven in part by the rush towards driverless cars—Google and Uber are currently at war over what this looks like next, and how to take it to market. Automation threatens millions of jobs around the world—especially manufacturing jobs—and may very well strike a staggering blow to the fabric of Western capitalist society. If robots take our jobs, who pays taxes? Where does the money go, but back up to the chain to rulers and owners of these robots?

Will our children watch robot barista competitions? Do androids dream of electric flat whites?

For his part, Henry Hu told Forbes Magazine that his intention for Cafe X was simply to “save money”—by his own approximation, the cost of the robot will be far less than a full cafe build-out. He’s right, of course, and that means passing the savings on to you. Drinks from Cafe X already run few dollars leaner than most coffee shops—lattes are $2.95, shots of espresso just $2.25, and this is in the middle of San Francisco, where coffee drinks easily run $4-6 in many cafes. In other words, this is a cheaper, arguably more efficient way of getting caffeine from a machine to your mouth. There was no line when I visited—who knows how the robot handles a morning rush, but I doubt he’ll be much for banter.

I found myself drawn to the cheery attendant, the lone human whom I could share my experience with. I sought normalcy, something akin to the café experience I was used to. But, if efficiency and automation are the goals of Cafe X, then inevitably humans will be phased out of the experience. We’re pretty inefficient as a species, after all—a bunch of loss leaders eating into the profit potential of a fully automated flat white production Borg, designed to get some as-yet-unagreed-upon combination of milk and espresso into your gullet for credits as soon as possible.

But what of our society? What of coffee as an employment opportunity for real living humans? Will history judge the likes of Henry Hu as a real-world version of Miles Dyson, the fictional (probably?) Director of Special Projects at Cyberdyne Systems who, while just doing his job and increasing project efficiency unknowingly brought about the human-robot apocalypse depicted in The Terminator films.

However, in writing this article, it dawned on me that there may be hope for us yet. The one human you can’t pull out of this equation is the consumer—I’m the one depositing credits, after all, and I can spend my money how I wish. And so it stands to reason that I go to my corner coffee shop ostensibly to get a cup of coffee in the morning, but I also go because I enjoy chatting with my barista; knowing what they’re reading, or who they’ve been dating, or if that dreadful regular we all wish were a little less regular has been back in recently. This human interaction makes the coffee taste better. It’s good for my brain. It’s a UI quirk in this vast human public beta we call life, something that draws us to one another to connect, talk, socialize, fall in love, and pick fleas off each other’s fur. Perhaps it’s a design flaw; perhaps it’s our species’ greatest triumph.

Automation is inevitable, but we can at least hope it’ll be in line with the core values of whatever is being automated. Serving coffee is more than just getting a beverage into a customer’s hands immediately for maximum profit. It’s about interaction, an engagement between people. It isn’t always perfect, and it isn’t always fast, but it’s satisfying in a way that’s hard to quantify until that moment you watch a robot do the same damn thing, for less money, and *still* you want to have a chat.

Cafe X proves that a robot can make a good cup of coffee, but it also, at least to this writer, proves how much is sacrificed when we aim for efficiency over humanity. If fast, consistently delicious coffee, means stripping the barista out of my cafe experience well, then, it doesn’t seem much like the coffee experience anymore. Maybe we’ll all be issued Soylent x Sudden rations in tomorrow’s New Frontier, judiciously pre-mixed by robots too busy to gossip. Or maybe that’s not really what humans want from a cup of coffee, or a cocktail, or a taxi ride. Maybe deep down we want all the inefficiency, the politeness, the imperfect small talk—hell, maybe we even need it, so wired for social interaction are our human brains.

To quote the great philosopher Dr. Ian Malcolm, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” Robot coffee is coming—it’s already here—and it’s just one more bit of reckoning that we, our children, and our children’s children will face in the decades to come.

Meanwhile, you can find me at the coffee bar, enjoying a minimally efficient but highly engaging experience, and leaving a tip.

Cafe X is located at 135 4th Street, San Francisco. Visit their official website and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Noah Sanders (@sandersnoah) is a Sprudge.com staff writer based in San Francisco, and a contributor to SF Weekly, Side One Track One, and The Bold Italic. Read more Noah Sanders on Sprudge.

Editor: Jordan Michelman.

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