#and the feeling can go away at literally any second

[district4loading]

Prada's Star

Twice Sana x Male Reader

10K Words

Content Warning: Smut and some plot

Minors DNI

A/N: Good Morning, I was supposed to finish this and post it last night but I ended up falling asleep while editing. I have class in a few hours so I decided i'd get this finished for you guys.

This is NOT the "longer fic" i've been working on. It's a request, but due to the length of the ask, I've decided that i'll post the ask in a separate post. If you don't want spoilers, then don't read the ask...

Enjoy!!! The smut is kind of long

-

This is dangerous, she’s dangerous

-

"Why her?" The first words that you were able to muster after your boss told you that you'd be looking after Minatozaki Sana, the ambassador of Prada who's coming from Korea to attend the Men's show here in Milan. You could've been assigned to literally anyone else—you wanted to be assigned to literally anyone else. Definitely not the woman that's going to get the most attention.

That only meant more work for you.

It was from then on that he explained to you that you're the only bodyguard who's qualified and fluent in Korean so you'd be able to communicate with her as needed. That and the fact that you're getting paid more than usual because of Sana's status.

So there you are, standing by to protect the true star of the show. The moment she steps out of the car it's all eyes on her. When she turns around to reveal her face you can hear the frantic screams of the fanboys and fangirls from across the street. She smiles politely and waves the best she can before she's practically barked at by multiple different assholes holding a camera.

Her dress is short—like really short and you only notice when you catch the way she subtly reaches to pull it down. You step behind her and you pull it down properly for her and when she feels the slight tug she looks back a little shocked to see you there. The eye contact you make in that moment is a bit unnerving but you keep your eyes on hers. You realize there's something about her aura and the way she looks at you that's nearly captivating. She parts her lips slightly to say something to you but then her attention is drawn away by a photographer.

"Miss!! Miss!! Over here" and you have to bring yourself back down to earth, blinking as you force yourself to look elsewhere.

You step out of the way but you still keep her within your reach as a mere safety precaution, counting out the time that you're supposed to give it before she has to go inside. There's nothing else to do but just watch—watch the bright flickers and flashes of the many cameras only hungry to capture her. They barely even budge when another car comes to drop off the other attendees because compared to Sana, they're irrelevant.

There's no doubt she's got a pretty face, from her captivating eyes to her perfectly sculpted nose and the beauty mark placed so perfectly on her cheek. But instead of strictly appreciating the efforts of her make-up artist, your eyes only hopelessly drift downwards. Down to her chest where the dress squeezes her breasts just right to show off her cleavage.

And it's not only that, that has you nearly leering like a pervert.

Just a bit further down, you notice her long and beautifully slim legs. They're covered by a pair of dark stockings and despite the fact that you went to pull her dress down a few seconds ago, it's still so criminally short. So short that if it weren't for the big coat she's got on over it, she'd be exposed.

It takes a few seconds before you're able to completely drink in her appearance because she's a tall glass of temptation—and you're thirsty. The kind of woman that you'll only see once in your entire life, then never again but you'll spend the rest of it thinking about her and comparing her to any other woman that comes into your life. Spoiler alert, they'll never be the same.

You blink, then peel your eyes off of her body and you find it in your weak mind to look somewhere that wasn't her. When you do, you catch the slightest glimpse of Sana's face and she's looking at you with a smirk so sly and suggestive you can feel your cheeks burn red before you look away.

"Great, she probably thinks i'm some kind of perv now" You beat yourself up about it pretty bad, telling yourself that it's embarrassing and that she'll probably be uncomfortable with you touching her or getting too close from then on.

This isn't like you—no, not at all. No matter how attractive a woman is, you'd never eye her body like that. Especially when your job is to protect her. It's inappropriate, it's highly unprofessional and it's.. disgusting.

You hate yourself for it.

Soon, times up and you walk in front of the cameras, absentmindedly putting your hand on Sana's lower back—an accident that makes your heart sink. You pull your hand away quickly and you lean down to whisper, "We have to get going." She nods her head then waves at everyone else before turning around.

The mob of hungry photographers follow you closely, a little too close for your liking. You block them with your arm "Not too close" You say it loud and clear so they can hear over all the commotion. It's a whole mob of them, doing their best to get close all for a damn picture. You think it's ridiculous--which is why you have no tolerance or respect for these people. They aren't "fans" who long for cute interaction or a signature, they're vultures who only care about the profit they'll earn for invading privacy.

Sana's manager is on the other side, blocking people as best as she can. There's a guy who tries to sneak a grab at Sana's arm and you catch him quickly, shoving his shoulder away with ease before he can even touch her. You can tell she's a bit startled by it, but she laughs it off as you guys make it through the doors where only people with the invite are allowed.

"Thank you" Sana smiles

Your words almost get caught up in your throat when you begin to register that she's actually speaking to you right now. Also looking at you and embarrassingly enough you can't bring yourself to look her in the eye, still ashamed of how she caught you staring outside. "I- uh- It's no problem, just doing my job" You stutter, before she turns around to follow her manager to where they're holding the show.

-

On the inside it's boring. Just another fashion show where you'd usually respond to texts or emails and give your boss updates for the majority of the time. Occasionally you'll steal a few pictures of some outfits you find nice or interesting.

This time, your focus is completely on Sana. After what happened earlier, you promised yourself that you wouldn't do it again but here you are, staring once more. She's sitting with her knees pressed together so no matter how hard you look, you can't see up her dress—granted you shouldn't even be trying. What you can see though, her thighs. You catch yourself silently praying to God for forgiveness because the thoughts that cross your mind are just pure filth.

From this angle they look so smooth and soft, something your hands are just aching to touch, feel and squeeze. You think back to when you had to pull her dress down, you could've done it right there—reach your hand down just a little bit more to get a feel of those supple thighs. But you didn't—you couldn't.

You look up, just a bit as she leans over to get a view of the models strutting down the runway and you can see more. Her tits nearly spill out of her dress and you could only imagine what it'd be like if her dress was just a tiny bit tighter.

Once again, in the corner of your eye you catch the exact moment she turns her head to look at you. The sudden movement causes your eyes to catch hers and immediately a flood of shame washes over you as you almost break your neck to look off. "Fucking shit" You mutter under your breath as you pull your phone out, just to occupy yourself really.

You end up spending the first few seconds shakily opening and closing random apps to make yourself look busy. It's the guilt that starts to eat you alive afterwards. You're supposed to be her protector. Now you're almost ninety-nine percent sure she's disgusted with you because she thinks you want to fuck her. It probably makes her uncomfortable—the way you keep on staring at her fucking body with nothing but reckless lust in your eyes.

You should clear the air, apologize and tell her it isn't what it looks like. Then maybe she won't report you to your boss. Just maybe.

-

By the time the show ends, Sana needs to again be escorted to her ride to the afterparty.

You do so the best you can, staying near her at all times, blocking the mob of people waiting with your arm out to protect her. It's the least you can do after everything.

When Sana and her manager are safely in the car, you have to catch your own ride to the afterparty. As planned, you make it there before they do and you wait on the curb for them to arrive.

It's a bit more tame here, of course there's still the fans standing around in the cold weather waiting, but now they're behind a sort of barricade so they can't get too close. The photographers are limited to that space too, so you're sure that thing's will go smoother.

Once they get here, the door slides open and you put your hand out to help her step out of the vehicle. She holds onto you firmly as she gets herself out, you can feel her nails slightly digging into your skin but you don't mind it at all "Thank you" She tells you with a nice smile. You only nod your head as her manager comes out a little later.

After everything, you didn't expect her to look at you—much less speak at you so nicely. It seems like she doesn't completely hate you as much as you've made yourself believe.

On your way inside, Sana decides to stop a bit to sign a few albums and pictures. So you have to be quick in stopping random people from reaching out to touch her hair or her arm or pull on her clothes. People can get really weird when it comes to the people they idolize, it's like boundaries and personal space doesn't exist to them. "No touching please" You vocalize it for her as you push some wandering arms away quickly.

You've been doing this a while, so even when someone thinks they're being slick, you're still able to catch them before they make contact. You're good at what you do. "Enough autographs, lets get inside" You hear the manager say to which you just nod your head.

Sana signs one more photobook before she walks off into the afterparty.

You figure you can let your guard down because there aren't any fans or creepy photographers inside. Just famous and important people talking to other famous and important people. Some people are talking and others are drinking and dancing to the music on the inside. It seems very laid back and casual.

There's nobody here you know or honestly care to know. Yeah, maybe there's some people from the board of directors for Prada and maybe there are some brilliant artists and celebrities but you have no interest in getting to know them. You know they're all a bunch of old people with no personality and more money than anyone could possibly need in their entire lifetime.

However, you still don't forget who you're here for. Although you're only leaning on the wall with a cup of water in your hand, you're still watching her. Sana seems to be having a bit of fun and she's letting herself loose. She's taking shots and dancing with a couple of people she must know from previous events she's been to.

They seem comfortable with each other.

The way Sana dances, moving her hips all smooth and fluid has you staring again. You're aware of what this must look like to anyone else, you're now also aware of the lack of simple discipline you have.

You find out new things about yourself every day, today you realize that you have a thing for Minatozaki Sana.

Of course, the next song that comes on is slower, more sensual too so she's dancing accordingly. The people around her are cheering her on, calling her hot and telling her to keep going. God you wish she'd stop. It's too hot, Sana's too fucking hot. There's no reason she should be moving her body like that in front of everyone, swaying her hips and rolling her body without a care in the world.

You have to shift the way you're standing because now there's an ache in your pants. You're hard in the middle of the afterparty. There's no way you can subtly adjust yourself right now and it's so painfully obvious whats going on in your pant's right now. You set your water down on the table next to you and you're about to go to the bathroom to fix it when you see Sana walking up to you. For the thousandth time today, your heart sinks and you freeze when you see her taking her jacket off, the same jacket that was covering her up.

"Hey! Can you hold onto this for me? It's getting kind of.." You catch the moment her eyes drift down for a split second and you're absolutely mortified. First you open your mouth to apologize so you can then excuse yourself and you waddle to the bathroom with the small bit of dignity you have left but Sana only looks back up at you and strangely she just continues "sorry, it's getting kind of hot in here. Make sure you don't leave it anywhere, yeah?" She smiles at you politely.

"No- Yeah... I guess I'll just stay here with it" You chuckle before she turns off to go back with her friends.

The entire walk there, you can see up her dress and it's just so indecent. Some sick part of your mind is telling you that's she's doing it all on purpose, dancing all slutty just to get you all horny and hard for her. Maybe she likes the attention. You quickly void the thought when you realize just how fucking gross it is to think that way, shifting yourself around ever so slightly because the ache is getting worse.

You don't want to look and just watch the effortless masterpiece that she is. It's too much for you to handle but you just can't bring yourself to look away. Your mind goes places it shouldn't. You're beginning to think about what it'll be like to rip her out of that expensive dress. Well, the material isn't that rip-able but you'd still be able to tear those restricting stockings open and just- "Y/n" A familiar voice interrupts your sinful thoughts and brings you back to reality.

It's the manager and as soon as you realize, you slightly move Sana's jacket so it's hiding the bulge in your pants. "I'm going to be talking to that lady over there for a little bit, just keep an eye on Sana"

"Oh trust me miss, I've been watching her" A breathy chuckle escapes your lips"You have no idea"

You don't say that last part out loud, but you definitely think it.

-

Sana knows what she saw, she knows good and well that when she looked down it was your raging erection poking out of your pants. She wonders if it's her fault—she knows it's her fault. The moment you first locked eyes and when she first caught you staring she knew that she was fucking wrecking you. Just by existing really. She found it cute how embarrassed you'd get whenever she caught you staring.

It was flattering even—but now that she knows how pent up she's got you, she thinks she should help you out. Maybe it's because she's a bit tipsy or maybe it's cause she just finds you attractive, but the way she can feel your eyes on her turns her on. She doesn't even have to look in your general direction to know how much you're staring.

All day, she's managed break you down to this. A man who can't even muster up the will power to look away from her. It's pathetic.

So she get's an idea

"Manager Unnie!" She taps the shoulder of the shorter—but older—woman while she's very obviously in conversation. She turns around with a hum, noticing that Sana's a bit loose from the drinks she's had "I'm think I'm ready to go back to the hotel, I'm sooo tired"

Sana also briefly greets the lady that the manager was talking to "Ah, can you give us maybe another hour? We're talking about a few deals and it may-"

"It's fine! The bodyguard can take me" She cuts in quickly, like the ideas been on her mind since before she came up to them.

It has.

The manager looks back at you, then to Sana "Are you sure?" The tipsy girl only nods with a smug smile on her face. "Give me a second" She mouths to the lady she was speaking to before walking over to you with Sana.

"Hey, Y/n I'm sorry about all this. Sana's ready to go, so if you could possibly take her back to the hotel..." She's obviously a bit apologetic about burdening you with a task you aren't being paid to do.

"Oh yeah, no problem" You blurt out like the people-pleaser you are before noticing what you've just agreed to. You just put yourself in a car alone with Sana. It's not that you have some porn inspired fantasy about being able to fuck her brains out the moment you get her by herself. It's just, from a far you could barely hold yourself together—shit you're still trying to hide the fact that you're all pent up and hard for her right now.

You know you'll probably end up rubbing one out when the nights over. You're just afraid that her presence might just be maybe too much to bear. "Oh that's great! Thank you so much" The Manager smiles thankfully then bows to you out of habit "I have to get back, you two drive safe and text me when you get back, yeah?" She gives Sana a look.

"Of course" She nods to the manager before turning her back to you "Shall we?"

You tilt your head a bit in confusion before she prompts you verbally "My coat"

"Oh- Sorry" You apologize before straightening the thick material out. Then you carefully get her arms through the sleeves, "There we go, all set?" Sana hums with a nice smile before you're ready to escort her.

You have to take the car you drove here, so you escort her outside from a secret exit. There wasn't much time to deal with the fans and crowds of people tonight.

The car ride is mostly silent up until you make it a few minutes away from your destination. Sana sits forwards in the backseat of the car, she's seated directly behind you. You take a glance at the rear-view mirror, noticing how her hand is reaching over the front seat "Hey- uh, you have to wear a seat belt or else you..." You nearly lose your train of thought when she touches your shoulder "I could get a ticket..."

Sana ignores you and instead allows her sneaky hand to slide down your chest. "Y/n... is it?" She asks, still unsure because she's only going off of what she heard the manager call you. You don't respond because you simply can't. You don't know why she's touching you like this nor do you have the slightest clue about why she's using this soft and almost sultry tone of voice when she speaks—but it's making you feel like the airs getting warmer.

Maybe it's cause she had a few drinks, you've got no clue but you're sure of one thing—she's turning you on. It's a real shame. Just when you were beginning to get a grip from the scene at the after party, she touches you once and your pants are immediately getting tighter than they were before.

You only repeat what you said before because they're the only words you're able to muster. That and it's a fact that the police are strict about seatbelts here. But Sana merely hums and once again disregards your words "I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job protecting me today"

"Uh.. thank you. I try my best" You nod as her hands draw soft movements along your shoulder and to your chest "But, Miss you really need to-"

"Sana" She corrects you "You can call me that" She's leaning forwards a bit and her lips are so close to your ear that her words send a chill right down your spine. You choose not to say anything because there's nothing at all sensible that comes to your mind. She's got you panicking, your palms sweating as you switch lanes.

This is dangerous, she's dangerous

Then her eyes flicker down—down to where you've been so embarrassingly hard for her since the after party "How about I help you out with your little problem down there? You can think of it as a reward for protecting me so well"

Your throat goes dry as you pull into the parking lot of the hotel "I'm not sure what you mean by that miss" You feign innocence, reaching down to put the vehicle in park.

Sana only sits back in her seat, withdrawing herself from you so you can finally breathe "Come sit with me in the backseat and you'll find out." You notice that her tone is all cute and naughty. You sit there for a moment, not even being able to move your hand from the stick shift. You know you shouldn't. You should just ignore her and help her to her hotel room, she doesn't seem like the type to push if you tell her no.

Then you begin to think about the consequences—what might happen if anyone finds out. You could get fired. Somehow, someway, despite everything in your living being telling you not to—you step out of the car and you slide the door to the backseat open to get inside just like she told you to. You wipe your palms in your pants and Sana scoots over to you, pulling you in by the lapel of your jacket. Usually, you'd be upset by the rough way in which she's handling it—cause it isn't cheap—but not this time when her lips are colliding with yours.

You kiss her back and it's even better than you imagined. Her lips are so soft and plump there's no possible way that you could ever get enough of them. She hums softly while you kiss her and you reach down to do exactly what you've been longing to—what you've been thinking about since she first stepped out of the car earlier today. You grab her supple thigh and you squeeze it hard, feeling the way it nearly gives in your grip. She moans, then her hand slides down from your chest all the way to your pants. She rubs your cock softly through the fabric and the growl that bubbles in your throat is nearly primal.

Utter anticipation as she brings her other hand down to properly get your pants unbuttoned and your zipper down. She pulls away from the kiss and in the darkness you notice that her lipstick is slightly smudged as she gets her fingers hooked around your waistband "I saw the way you've been watching me, more specifically my body" She mutters as you lift your hips, just so she can pull it down along with your boxers. "My legs, my ass, my tits..." She emphasizes the delivery of each body part as if she were trying to prove some kind of point. When your dick springs out she gasps, then licks her lips before looking back up at you "and I also know you've been like this since the afterparty"

Sana wraps her fingers around your shaft and you can only throw your head back, exhaling softly as you feel the soft warmth of her hands. She begins to stroke you up and down nice and slow "It's your fault" You grit through your teeth to suppress a moan that almost creeps it's way out.

"Yeah?" She giggles as she repositions herself in the car. Sana shifts to her knees and pulls off her coat, letting it fall to the ground before she ducks her head down. She grabs a hold of your cock again, flicking her wet tongue on the head. You get your fingers threaded through her dark red hair and you're probably ruining an hours worth of hard work by her hair dresser but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, it seems that she likes it.

Sana takes you into her mouth and continues to stuff you deeper "Oh my God" You mutter and she only giggles the best she can with her mouth full of you. The feeling of pure raw pleasure is dizzying, it's the way her smooth tongue drags up and down the side of your shaft as she bobs her head up and down. Then the enhanced sensitivity when it brushes up against your frenulum on the way up. "Sana.." You say her name for the first time and it feels so right, like it's only fitting for your voice. "That's so fucking good"

She moans, then hums when she feels a slight tug at her scalp. It's a silent plea your body makes to urge her for more as the greed overcomes you. Sana acknowledges this, then she begins to suck, creating an almost vacuum tight seal as she bobs her head up and down. It catches you off guard and your hips buck as you hiss at the feeling.

Her lips feel incredible wrapped around your cock. The moist suction has you moaning and groaning uncontrollably like you never have before. You bite your lip and shut your eyes as she goes faster with her hand at the base stroking you while she sucks you off and then her tongue begins to swirl around on the shaft. "S-Slow down" You let out a shaky breath, moaning softly and she releases you with a pop.

"What?" She licks her lips, a devilish smile on her face as she continues to jerk you with her grip tight. Then she playfully flicks her tongue on the tip.

"I'm close" You feel your face burning redder than it already is because she hasn't even done much and you're already about to lose it.

"What? You scared you're gonna blow a load in my mouth before we get to the good part?" You swallow and you open your mouth to say something, but Sana drags her tongue along the tip and you forget it all. She hums at the taste of your salty pre-cum thats been non-stop leaking down your shaft ever since she got her mouth on you. "Listen, this is what's gonna happen" She jerks your cock slowly as she speaks with her voice hushed "You're going to cum in my mouth... then you're going to take me up to my room where I'll let you fuck me senseless. Sounds good?"

You nod your head, unable to form any words as Sana lowers her head again. The moment she gets her warm mouth on you, your cock is already twitching. "Fucking.. hell" You moan, hearing and feeling the muffled giggle she makes on your cock. The way she works her tongue, the warmth of her mouth, the soft feel of her velvety inner cheeks... it's something you've never felt before.

Of course, you've had many blowjobs in the past but this is the first time you're getting one from Sana. You've gotta admit it's the best you've ever had.

The moment Sana begins to suck and swirl her tongue around your tip, you're a goner. She reaches her other hand to massage your balls and in a flash, you're cumming. "Sana... i'm gonna fucking.." When she feels the first rope hit the roof of her mouth, she hums, smiling the best she can as you pulse and throb in her mouth. You can't contain your choked up noises as your body heats up and the pure ecstasy takes over you.

You feel all of it leave your entire being—the frustration and the desire you felt from watching her all day, it washes away in a flash. Sana carefully takes you out of her mouth, making sure not to spill anything before she opens her mouth to show you how much you came. Her mouth's nearly filled to the brim with it. You can only just sigh, a dazed look in your eye as you watch her close her mouth to swallow it all in one gulp.

Sana licks her lips clean, then she leans in to kiss you. Of course, you let her and you don't even mind tasting the remnants of your seed on her lips. Already, you feel your cock hardening again just from making out with her and hearing the small noises she makes on your lips. Her moans sound different this time, it feels more raw and needy rather than cute but it's still sexy all the same. You quickly remember what she just told you.

She wants you to fuck her senseless.

"Let's go" You mutter against her lips before breaking the kiss completely to messily pull your pants up. It takes a moment, but you're able to get yourself together quickly and step out of the car. Outside is cold and windy, it greatly contrasts from the intense heat inside of the car so you shiver a bit, holding your hand out to help Sana exit the car.

When you make it into the elevator, the sexual tension is unbelievable. The only reason why the two of you aren't ripping each other's clothes off is because you have to wait. It's so tempting because you're standing so close together in this empty space where it seems like nobody can see you.

The cameras can

Finally, you make it to Sana's floor and the two of you walk all the way to her room. Sana swipes her keycard and unlocks the door, stepping inside with you behind her. You close the door and as soon as the lock clicks, your lips are together once again. You grab her coat and you push it back to help her get it off. Once it falls to the ground you don't care enough to step around it, you actually step on it as you get her to the bed.

Sana sits on the edge of the bed and you stand in front of her, pulling your lips off of hers as you reach your hand down to her thigh. You squeeze it and for a moment you think about taking her stockings off all nice and careful because you're not sure how much they're worth. Then you end up using both of your hands to rip them apart just like you thought of doing earlier. "Do you know how much this costs?" Sana squeals at the force that you use to tear the expensive fabric as you continue to pull them off.

"No" You mutter, getting her heels off as well. Once they're off, you get your hands on her soft and smooth legs and they feel even better like this.

"Me neither, it was a gift" Sana giggles as you reach to get her safety shorts off and her panties go along with it. You're not wasting any of the precious time you have with her tonight. There's no telling that you'll ever get an opportunity like this again. So you reach underneath her dress and you palm her wet cunt, feeling her warm juices seep between your fingers. "Fuck" She murmurs under her breath and you notice that the confidence in her tone that was just there a moment ago has vanished.

Now she needs you more than ever right now. The tables have turned, now you're the one in control and she's the one who's about to be a mumbling, stuttering mess under you.

"You have no clue..." You mutter when you bury your two fingers inside of her, eliciting a sudden gasp. You take note of how easily they go in and the look in Sana's dazed eyes makes it seem like she's not even there mentally "...what you've been doing to me today"

She moans, then bites her lip as you work your fingers inside of her clenching cunt. "I think i've got an idea" she mumbles, words coming out almost as messy as her make-up looks right now. Sana pulls you closer, then she unzips your fly and pulls your cock out of your pants "You're gonna ruin me with this thing" This sexy smirk appears on her lips and you only bury your fingers deeper inside of her.

Sana gasps, then pulls you by your suit to get you closer to her. "Sure, but first you're gonna cum on my fingers." She whines at this, but you value foreplay. Also, Sana looks too good in this dress for you to get it off of her just yet. Especially when she's got her legs spread for you. You take a deep breath in with your nose buried in her hair and you kiss along the flesh of her neck. Some hair strands get in your mouth, but you keep kissing her there, hearing it in real time as her sounds get needier.

There's no way you can just sit there and ignore the messy noise on your fingers as you pump them in and out of her. She covers it up real well with her pretty moans, but it's almost embarrassing how noticeable it is. Sana is so wet that it's leaking down your hand and staining the sheets beneath her and the dress she's got on. "You're so fucking wet for me, so ready to have me inside you" You mutter it into her ear and the way her body shudders is almost priceless.

Sana nods her head the best she can "Please..." She starts off, hands gripping at your arms . You pull back to look into her eyes "Please give it to me" She begs, giving you a set of puppy eyes that almost makes you question your own judgement.

A low chuckle escapes your lips when you notice the way her legs begin to shake as you glide your fingers in and out of her. You want to watch it all happen, the moment she first falls apart for you. You need to take it all in. This side of her is one that only few people get to see and you're lucky enough to have the privilege of witnessing it before your eyes.

The way her eyes squint as her brown pupils try to keep themselves visible, how her lips part to let out those beautiful high pitched moans. Everything is better this way "Fuck... I'm-" She can't even finish her sentence before her orgasm rips through her. A loud moan escapes her lips and her hips grind forwards.

"There you go, Sana" You hum "Cum for me" As you continue to move your fingers, Sana's eyes clamp shut and she throws her head back with loud moans flying freely from her mouth.

When she's finally done, you have to wrap your arms around her to hold her up. You kiss her again but this time you make it last longer. You move your lips against each others like it's a fight and you know you've won once she lets your tongue inside her mouth. You reach down to take off her belt and you toss it to the side, then you pull down the zipper to her dress.

You break the kiss to help her get it off fully to reveal her strapless bra "Take it off" You step back as you begin to get your own clothes off. Sana immediately does as you say, then she sits herself further on the bed, leaning back on her forearms to spread her legs. She bites her lip softly as she trails her hand down her body to tease as you struggle with the buttons of your shirt.

"Take your time" Sana giggles playfully while her fingers spread her cunt.

Once you finally get your shirt off, you kick off your shoes and you drop your pants and your boxers. There's no time to leave them anywhere else but the pile on the floor because you can barely control yourself when you climb onto the bed to get your body on hers finally. "You're dangerous" You press your lips against hers as you settle yourself in between Sana's legs.

You first notice how she's made you completely forget about using protection. It's a stupid fucking risk—you know it is but you just can't bring yourself to ruin everything and bring it up. She doesn't seem to mind so why should you? As you suck on Sana's tongue you begin to line yourself up with her entrance. It's wet but she's so tight, making it a bit hard for you to get it in smoothly.

To focus, you pull your lips off of her and you look down. Finally you're able to properly guide the head inside of her tight cunt. She moans softly when she first feels the stretch and you groan at the tight grip "Fuck- please don't tease I need it deep"

You're not teasing, you're giving yourself a second to prepare yourself before you sink all the way in. She feels too fucking good, better than you thought she would. You should've known, Sana's full of surprises. The way her walls hug you heightens every sensation and lights each one of your nerves on fire. You need to remind yourself that you can't just stay like that forever. You have to do something to let it be known that she chose the right guy to take care of her tonight.

So you thrust your hips forwards, feeling the way her nails immediately dig into your biceps as a response. She winces as you bury yourself all the way to the hilt but otherwise she takes you very well "You okay?" You ask softly, stopping your own voice from shaking as she clenches around you.

Sana nods so you decide to reposition yourself to sit on your heels, getting a good grip on her thighs before you begin to move. You start off slow, moving at an easy pace so she can get used to your size. "Sana... you feel so fucking good" You groan, fingers digging through her flesh so hard it's leaving red marks on her pale skin.

"Please- Just don't stop- okay?" The look in her eye tells you that she just might cry if you stop, so you speed up a little. Sana's back hits the mattress and she tries so hard not to close her eyes as she feels the intense stretch your thick cock gives her. She loves it.

You watch the way her tits bounce up each time your hips meet hers and you've got to admit it almost hypnotizes you. Her body looks so perfect, skin sleek, flesh red and warm as you give her everything you have to offer—every single inch that the angle will allow—she deserves that much simply for being who she is. A goddess who's decided to bless you with her body tonight.

Her moans fill up the room. At first she was trying to hold them in, now she's letting them out freely. It feels like an honor to hear her get this loud. The people in the next rooms can probably hear how good you're fucking her. It's so obscene and you love it. "Your fucking cock- fuck it's so-" She's barely able to formulate proper sentences, but she can get enough across with one word "Please- Deeper... need you deeper inside of my fucking pussy" She begs "Please.. more"

Without any words you lean forwards, pressing on the backs of her thighs to put her in a mating press. This allows you to get your cock deeper in her and you begin to pound into her roughly in this position. The force of your first thrust knocks the air out of her lungs, the only thing that can be heard are her gasps and choked up moans as you continue.

"Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes" She chants, eyes slammed shut as you fill her to the brim with your balls slapping against her ass each time you bottom out. You can hear the wet sticky sounds getting louder and louder as you fuck Sana. You can also feel her cunt quivering around your cock and you can tell that she's already close again. "Please- keep fucking... Oh my God" She mouths the last part because her voice goes silent against her will.

"Yes Sana, cum on my fucking cock... you know you need to" You groan, feeling your balls twitch as your orgasm is also imminent.

You think about pulling out right after she's done cumming, but as soon as you feel that foreign feeling of her warm, tight cunt pulsing and clenching you, your mind goes blank. "You're gonna make me cum, you're gonna make me fucking- Ah!" Sana moans and she's cumming again, body shaking and stuttering more violently than it was before. She doesn't stop there though, it keeps going for a long while, like you've forced her into an ever-lasting orgasm.

"Jesus, Sana" You moan, thrusting feverishly into her as you watch her entire body snap and unravel before your very eyes. It's the last sight you see before you begin shooting your load deep inside of her without warning. You didn't even notice when you reached the point of no return, you were too focused on Sana to realize just how close you were. "Fuck.. I'm sorry" You slip your cock out and watch as your seed drips out of her.

That's not a sight you were sorry for

Sana only giggles, pulling you back down to lay on top of her again "It's okay, baby" She mumbles before she presses her lips against yours. You make out breathlessly for a little while before Sana reaches down to cup your balls in her hands "You got any more for me?" She asks to which you just sigh without really responding.

With a smirk on her face, Sana makes a move to push your shoulder lightly. You catch the drift and you lay back onto the bed, allowing her to straddle your lap. Her tits bounce slightly with the quick movement she makes as she hovers a bit to get you inside of her again. She holds your cock in place and allows the tip to part her lips just before she completely sinks down slowly until your bodies meet. You see the way her face gives into the pleasure, taking note of how she attempts to hide it before she leans down to kiss you again.

She can't contain the small moans she makes into the kiss when she begins to move at her own pace, hips moving forward and backwards. A groan bubbles in your throat because the way she takes control is destroying you. Sana breaks the kiss and straightens her arms out so she can plant them on your shoulders. This gives her more leverage to ride you a little faster.

You reach your hand around to leave a light tap on her butt, then you end up using your hands to hold both cheeks. They're just as soft as the skin on her thighs and you just can't keep your hands off of her, it's almost like your palms are glued there.

Sana smiles, then guides one of your hands away from her ass. She stops moving her hips for a second as sits still as she puts your hand over her belly "You're this deep right now" She reveals, pressing your hand into her body so you can feel just how deep you are. You don't exactly know what to say to that, Sana once again leaves you speechless.

There's no time to talk though before she begins to bounce on your cock again, this time moving up and down with the roll of her hips. You knew she'd be good at this from the way she was dancing at the after party, it's crazy that she knows how to move her body in just the right ways.

You take some time to admire her entire being, from her beautiful lust-filled eyes to her swollen pink lips. Your eyes drift to her chest and you're stuck staring at her breasts again. You move your hands from her ass and you reach up to grab two handfuls of the warm flesh. "I really can't get enough of your cock" Her tone is so fun and playful when she says it and you can't help but smile back at her when you notice the subtle glimmer in her eye.

She grinds down nice and slow, then leans forwards so your hands slide down to her waist. "and I can't get enough of you" You mutter just before she kisses you again. Kissing Sana feels oddly nice, it gives you this fluttering feeling inside that you've never felt with anyone else before. Your tongues dance together in the same smooth and soft way that she's riding you, matching the pace. It's really slow and almost intimate—as if you're life long partners who already know each other's bodies.

Even if it's not the case you let yourself believe it and live in it for the moment. That's until the unhurried pace becomes unbearable for you. There's a burning desire for her in the pit of your stomach that creeps it's way in and your hips begin to move, thrusting up involuntarily. Sana whines at the first shallow thrust you make up into her sopping cunt and it only tells you that she needs more. "Please"

So you tighten your grip on her waist and you begin to fuck her, rough and fast. Maybe it's the angle, or maybe you've got her close again but her moans are louder this time. She's nearly screaming, head buried into the crook of your neck as you pound into her relentlessly. "Oh- Fuck yes- just like that baby! Please don't stop.. don't fucking stop" She begs you like her life depends on the event that your cock keeps hitting that same spot inside of her.

It's taking a lot of energy and strength for you to hold this position, it doesn't take long before every single muscle inside of you begins to burn and you don't know how much longer you can hold out. The way she's begging keeps you going though, so you don't stop. You push through, gaining some sort of fuel from her moans and the punishing slapping noises that are coming from between your legs.

"Oh fuck- If you keep-" You barely even hear what she's saying so you write it off as dumb ramblings "You're gonna make me-" Then all of a sudden, she gets tighter—so unbelievably tight that your cock slips out of her and Sana squeals then a warm sticky river spills all over your abs as she trembles in your grip.

You slap her ass, a cocky chuckle escaping your lips when you realize that you just made her squirt. "I didn't think you'd be a squirter" You grab your cock and slide it back inside of her, continuing to fuck her as if nothing happened. Sana doesn't respond, the only thing that can come out of her are broken moans that hurt her hoarse voice. Then of course there's the curses and pleas for you to go faster, harder, deeper inside of her. You try your best, but you're only a man after all.

So against Sana's demands, you pull out mostly because you're tired and partially because you were getting close. "N-No... please" She begs, trying her best to guide your cock back inside of her but she can only whine tiredly when you slip from beneath her. "I was so close.." A tired sigh escapes her lips as she lays there all naked, flushed and sweaty.

You stand up from the bed, hand fisting your stiff cock as an idea pops into your mind. You look over to the door to the balcony "Get up" You order, grabbing Sana by the arm and pulling her roughly to help her up because you're not too inclined on waiting for her to register what you've just told her.

Sana only moans softly as you get her on her feet "What are you doing?" She asks as you reach for the balcony door. "Wait- no" She pulls back as you open the door.

"I want you on the balcony"

"But... what if someone sees?" You can tell that she looks a bit scared about it, but it doesn't seem like she'll fight you on it.

"Then i'll make sure we give them a show"

Sana just looks as you, blinking as if she didn't hear what you said. However, when you pull her through the door and into the cold night she doesn't resist. Sana lets you bend her over the black metal railing where she's exposed to the entire city. You guide your cock to her entrance and you slide yourself in nice and easy before you grab her by the arms.

That's when you begin to fuck her from behind with the view of Milan before you. With her status, you can't deny the fact that you're surprised that she's actually letting you fuck her out in the open like this. It's reckless, it's degrading, it's slutty and maybe it's everything she's ever wanted.

The noises your hips make on impact with her soft ass are so loud that you're sure it can be heard on the ground but still you don't slow or stop. Sana's trying her best to keep quiet, but she can't help the whimpers and the whines that escape her lips when the head of your cock nudges past a specific spot inside.

You watch how perfect her body looks while she's being fucked like this. It jolts forwards with each thrust, her head unable to keep still from the force. Her ass jiggles each time you make it to the hilt and the way the skin ripples is almost like water. Then there's the perfect shade of pink her skin has blended into from everything.

You're quite literally fucking her senseless, just like she asked you to and she's fucking loving it.

There's something that you don't quite like though—she's too quiet. So you let go of one of her arms to instead thread your fingers through her hair to get a firm grip on her scalp. You pull Sana's head back and for the first time, she moans out loud. "Go ahead and let it all out darling" You hear her gasp and then, like you've flipped a switch in her you feel her juices spilling between her legs and staining the floor.

Maybe she took your words literally

You decide to keep your hand in her hair because she obviously likes it and you tug a bit harder just to test things out. Sure enough, she moans even louder than before and so you reward her by changing up the pace. You slide yourself in all the way, deep and slow to ensure that she feels every single throbbing inch of you.

The way she clenches around you doesn't help in the slightest, in fact she's already got you nearly ready to burst. Sana's pussy just feels too good. It's so unbelievably wet, warm and tight and each time you pump into her you feel some sort of obligation to savor the moment. "Look at you, Sana... you take my cock so fucking well" Your words make her entire body shudder "I wonder what people would say if they saw you getting fucked like this"

Sana only gasps, words getting caught and stuck in her throat as your cock slides in and out of her. "If they could only hear how wet you are for my cock right now" You mutter, speeding up just a little bit, hearing her whine and moan into the night.

"Please- please fuck me faster" She finally musters up some words and of course it's a plea for you to continue your punishing pace from before. You only hum as if you couldn't hear her, tugging on her hair again for emphasis "I said I want you to fuck me faster! Just fucking- please! I need your cock pounding into me until I can't speak anymore"

You chuckle, then you begin to slam your body into hers at full force "Like this?" You grunt shakily because this is a real work out for you.

"Oh- fuck yes" She nods "Yes, that's right fucking destroy me with that big cock of yours" She moans loudly and you let go of her other arm just so you can slap her ass again so hard that it leaves a red handprint behind. You then grab her waist, allowing Sana to use her hands to brace herself on the metal bars on the balcony in front of her. "You're so fucking deep- fucking stretching me so good- just like that baby! Don't stop, please don't fucking stop"

"I wouldn't fucking dream of it" You growl "I'm going to make you fucking cum on my cock for the entire world to see"

"Fuck- yes please!" Sana's body begins to shake uncontrollably in your grip and her legs go weak. So you hold her up and you continue to pound into her. "I'm so fucking... close" Her moans sound loud and labored now, like she's maybe two seconds away from giving in.

Just a few more hard and rough strokes and... "Oh shit- I'm cumming baby!" She keens with her body nearly seizing in your grip. You let go of her hair and you wrap your arms around her weak body to hold her close, grinding your hips into her to help her ride it out.

"Don't worry Sana, I've got you" You whisper sincerely as you allow her to fall apart in your arms. You feel her pulsing wildly inside and it's only a matter of time before it's your turn.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She moans wildly as you thrust into her slowly all the way until you stop and then you pull out. You don't waste any time to spin her tired body around and pick her up, holding her by the thighs as she wraps her legs tightly around your waist. You slide yourself back inside of her familiar cunt that's now shaped of you. "Oh my fucking god" Sana bites her lip, wrapping her arms around your neck.

"Sana" You mumble through your heavy breaths "I'm going to cum inside you again" You warn, knowing that there was no other appropriate place to do it tonight. By this time you've forgotten about the freezing temperature and all the eyes that could be on you right now. All that mattered right now was Sana, and the pleasure her body was giving you.

"Yes!" She moans as your cock glides in and out of her "Please fill me up! Give me everything baby.. need to feel your warm cum deep inside"

You feel your balls twitch and that's when the first rope shoots out and pools inside of her cunt. "That's right baby" Sana coos and you groan deeply, thrusts getting messy and indirect as your cock pulses out endless ropes of cum inside of her. You're stuck in a different realm, head cocked to the night sky as your vision goes blurry and your lips part to let out the only noises you can make.

You're stuck like that for a while before the wind of the cold air hits your body and you begin to shiver. So you carry Sana back inside of the room, closing the door behind you before you lay her body onto the bed. You crawl in after her and you end up falling asleep in each other's arms.

-

You're woken up in the morning to some persistent tapping on your arm. You groan groggily and your eyes flutter open "Hey, get up. You have to go" You hear her voice and your ears perk up.

"What?" You mumble, sitting up and wiping the sleep out of your eyes. The sight before you is pure beauty. Sana's fresh out of the shower, wearing a robe with a towel wrapped around her head.

"My manager's coming over soon to take some pictures and stuff, so you have to leave" She repeats once more.

You nod your head, then you remember everything that happened last night. It's like the flashes of random moments and echos of her beautiful moans that you hear faintly. She's about to walk back into the bathroom but you stop her "Wait" She turns around upon hearing your voice, a kind of impatient look on her face as she waits for you to say something "Last night was... amazing"

A small smile forms on Sana's lips "Yeah it was, handsome" You smile a bit when you hear the nickname she gives you. "But seriously, you've gotta get your things and-"

"Will I see you again? How long are you staying in Milan for?"

"Not long, I've got to get back to Korea in a couple of days" She shrugs, then gives you these pitiful set of eyes "and no, we probably won't see each other again"

For some reason, her words feel like a punch in the gut. The thought that you'll never see her again after everything that happened just hurts. "You've got someone waiting for you back in Korea?" You break eye contact, not being able to stand the way she's looking at you. It's more of an assumption than a question because you've already made your mind up. She's probably got a nice guy waiting for her back home and you were just one fun night for her.

You notice how she practically ignores the question before she sit's at the edge of the bed "Listen, you just gave me a night that i'll probably remember for the rest of my life... but I hope you can understand that that's all it was. One night."

So with that, you left

You didn't argue, you didn't get upset and you didn't sulk about it. You just gathered your things and left without even a number. You still think about her often, mostly when you see her on the news or when you see someone that slightly resembles her. 

Sometimes you smell the scent of her shampoo or her perfume on someone else and it takes you back to that night, leaving this sinking feeling in your chest. Maybe it's your mind playing tricks on you but there's been a few instances where you could've sworn you heard her voice or maybe even her laugh.

It's embarrassing to admit but you've spent so much money to only see her whenever she goes on tour. You get barricade in hopes that she'll remember you and you can recall a time that you think you made eye contact with her but she gave no reaction.

You miss her.

You spend almost every night replaying the one you spent together, wondering if you could've done something to make her need you. 

[aakeysmash]

Pregnancy cravings

Farmer!Sukuna’s masterlist

Farmer!Sukuna thought dealing with your pregnancy cravings would be a walk in the park. I mean, come on, you two are basically self sufficient: he’s literally a farmer, what could you possibly crave that he doesn’t already have planted or stored?

Your cravings hit at the start of your second trimester. You’re barely showing, and probably the fact that nothing you eat stays in your stomach for more than two hours isn’t helping your case.

It’s winter and it’s snowing: your fields are currently covered in snow, your chickens are huddled up in their coop, your cows are sleeping in their heated stable… and you? You’re reading a book right in front of your fireplace. Sukuna gets home with his arms full of logs to keep the fire alive all night. He sets them on the ground before plopping down next to you with snow clinging to his hair.

“Get off, your nose is cold,” you mumble, pushing him away when he tries to give you a kiss. He raises one of his eyebrows, kissing you on the cheek either way (two times, to spite you). You let out a dramatic whine.

He chuckles, ruffling his hair and wetting your book’s pages with a couple of snowflakes. Annoyed, you roughly close the book, and turn around to give him a piece of your mind, just to find yourself wrapped in his arms.

“I said get off,” you repeat, softer, leaning in despite your words. His body heat is doing a better job than the fire at thawing the chill from your limbs.

“And I don’t care,” he replies nonchalantly. He kisses your temple, cocooning you deeper into him by opening his legs and tucking you into the space in front of him. You grumble something unintelligible.

“How are the only two people I can stand doing today?” He asks you, rocking you side by side. Seeing you pregnant makes him feel uncomfortably soft. And seeing you pregnant with his child? Oh god.

“I want ice cream.”

He stops.

“Huh?”

“More like your offspring wants ice cream,” you sniffle from under his jaw.

“I don’t think we have any in the freezer,” he responds, looking you in the eyes. Your lip starts wobbling.

“But I want it,” you brokenly say, trying to swallow your sobs. His heart clenches.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to have it today,” he says, and immediately regrets it when your eyes well up with tears.

“C’mon, don’t cry now, it’s just ice cream,” he tries to comfort you. Apparently he does a horrible job, because you start bawling.

“But I want it! And I hate that I want it so bad! You know how much I hate playing the weak and fragile woman part, why are you being mean?” you wail, shoving him away and getting up. You quickly go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, the duvet that was covering you mere seconds ago acting as your cloak.

“No, babe, I’m not-“

You snap your head back angrily, levelling him with a hostile glare. “Yes you are! You’re being mean when it’s your fault I’m like this!” You motion to your body.

“Actually, you begged for it, wife,” he shrugs, a corner of his mouth lifting. He doesn’t expect the punch you throw at his chest.

“Don’t ever come near me again,” you seethe, drinking your water and flying up the stairs. He sighs, rubbing his temples, wincing when he hears you sniffle again.

After ten minutes he knocks on your bedroom door- the same one you not-so-gracefully threw in his face.

“C’mon. Get out,” he grits out. Who knew dealing with a pregnant woman would strip him of the little patience he still has left?

“No. You value me less than ice cream.”

He sighs. “What can I do t’ make you forgive me?” He hears the soft pit pat of your sock-clad feet on the floor before the door creaks open. From the last few months, he'd say your mood swing should be finished by now.

You gently lower the handle, looking at his condescending espression. Then you sag your shoulder, gazing at the floor.

"You big crybaby. C'mere," he smirks, opening his arms. You bury your head in his shoulder, and he pats your hair mockingly.

"I still want ice cream, though," you mumble.

"I'll go get it at the city right now if ya stop crying," he chuckles. He widens his eyes, realizing that... he caught himself too late.

You abruptly step back. He winces.

"And you'd leave me here all alone?! Why don't you love me anymore?!"

[theweewooshow]

you taste like cold and lonely nights

bucktommy | 1.5k | prompt: kissing out of habit

Buck is so goddamned embarrassed.

He’s not even sure how this happened.

He’s babysitting and house sitting for Maddie and Chim while they take a pre-birth vacation for a few days and he very nearly burns their house down.

He stepped outside for a minute to see what Jee was doing in the backyard and then the smoke detector was going off and when he went back inside, the oven was pouring smoke.

He swears this house is actually haunted. That’s the only explanation for why it would spontaneously start smoking the minute he looked away from it.

He turns the oven off, fanning away the opaque smoke as he opens it up to stare at the ruins of what were supposed to be snickerdoodle cookies.

He fans the smoke away from the smoke detector with a kitchen towel and after another minute, the noise stops.

When he opens the back door to let the house air out, he sees Jee looking at him curiously from where she’s assembling the collection of rocks she’s found.

He grins sheepishly and says, “The cookies might take a little longer than expected, but we can have some later, okay?”

She nods and turns back to the rocks and Buck thanks his lucky stars she’s not in the mood to ask any questions.

He returns to the mess and grabs the sheet tray from the oven with the towel in his hand. Half the cookies are pale and gooey, underdone, and the other half are miserable little pieces of coal that stare at him menacingly as he shoots off a text to his group chat Maddie and Chim, letting them know what happened.

How long was the smoke detector going off? is what Chim texts back a handful of minutes later as Buck is cleaning up the mess. Buck furrows his brow as he looks at his phone.

A few seconds later, he hears the telltale sound of a firetruck nearby and he groans audibly.

He forgot that Chim was telling him about their new Hildy security system and how it was hooked up to literally everything in the house, including the smoke detectors. She must have alerted 911 somehow when the alarm went off and they dispatched the fire department.

He texts Chim back, too long.

The series of emojis he gets back has him plotting and scheming Chimney’s demise as he closes the oven and waits for the fire department to show up.

He gets up and heads to the door when he hears the fire truck in front of the house and wonders which fire house he’s about to embarrass himself in front of.

He thinks the 133 is the closest, which is probably a good thing since he’s kind of in Captain Mehta’s good graces. Maybe he can convince him not to let his team tell everyone in the fire department about this.

When the knock at the door comes, he’s already armed with an excuse as he swings the door open to see who’s on the other side.

It feels like all his higher brain function comes screeching to a halt as he wordlessly stares—his eyes flitting from Tommy’s face to his team a few yards back.

“Buck?” Tommy says, confused. He looks at the house number and then back at Buck, like he’s making sure they got the right house—which makes sense since they never got around to coming over here for dinner before they broke up.

“Uh, Tommy, hi,” Buck says when he regains some sense. “Sorry. I, I set the smoke alarm off and Chim has this new Hildy thing that apparently calls 911 when the smoke detector goes off for long enough.”

“Oh, this is Chimney’s house?” he asks.

“Yeah, uh, he and Maddie bought it a while ago. It was haunted, or people thought it was haunted because they thought people got murdered here, but it turns out that was a lie. Except I still think it’s kind of haunted because the cookies I put in the oven were burnt to a crisp after only being in there for like five minutes.”

Tommy nods and chuckles. “Okay, I’m getting a picture of what happened. Give me a sec, I’ll let the others know it was a false alarm.”

Buck appreciates the discretion as Tommy turns back to the others in the driveway to update them, shielding Buck from their line of sight.

When he comes back to the door, Buck is tense as Tommy says, “I just need to do a walkthrough to make sure everything’s alright.”

Buck nods and says, “Oh, uh, sure, sure,” and lets him inside, trying to slow his heartbeat down. “So, why is the 217 responding out here?” Buck asks as he leads Tommy into the kitchen.

Tommy says, “Mehta and his men are at a warehouse fire and we were nearby after finishing up at another false alarm nearby. Those Hildy things are not very good at determining what actually warrants a call to 911.”

“You should definitely tell Eddie your thoughts on Hildy sometime,” Buck says as they come to a stop.

Tommy takes in the whistles lowly. “Yeah, definitely haunted,” he says, a sarcastic lilt to his voice, picking up a blackened cookie off the baking sheet and tapping it against the sheet tray. It thunks loudly against it.

“Yeah, ha ha, laugh it up,” Buck says.

“I’m not laughing at you. Just—you are the only person I know who gets himself into situations like this. Cookies spontaneously turning to char in the oven and AI sending the fire department to the house. It’s kind of Classic Buck.”

“Yeah, I definitely Bucked this one up.”

Tommy glances back over at him after he wipes his hand off. When they make eye contact, they both burst out laughing.

It feels good to laugh, the tension in the room dissipating a little. The laugh lines around Tommy’s mouth and the scrunch of his nose makes something ache inside Buck.

“Maybe it’s me who’s cursed,” Buck says after his laughter subsides.

“Nah,” Tommy says, waving a hand, “These things happen. No curses this time, probably just faulty wiring that created hot spots in the oven.”

“Probably,” Buck agrees.

They stare at each other for a moment before Tommy says, “Well, since I’ve confirmed it was just a false alarm, I should head back out, let you get back to it.”

Buck nods and leads him back to the door.

“It was, um, it was good seeing you,” Buck says, meaning it. He’s been kind of afraid of seeing him again, but seeing him was good. He looks good.

But when Tommy smiles at him, standing only a foot away from him, it’s like he’s transported back to the loft, to all the times Tommy smiled at him in front of the door there.

He’s leaning in before he realizes what he’s doing, his hand sliding up to Tommy’s neck as he drags him into a soft kiss. It’s out of habit to kiss him goodbye at the door like they’ve done a hundred times before.

His brain catches up to what he’s done and he pulls away, about to apologize profusely when Tommy’s hand comes up to wrap around his wrist, like he wants to keep him there.

So Buck stares into Tommy’s eyes and stays put. He leans in again, pressing their mouths more firmly together.

Tommy kisses him back, their heads tilting, their mouth sliding together in a dance they know intimately.

He feels pinpricks in the base of his scalp as their tongues press against each other, as the distance between their bodies closes on instinct, as Tommy’s free hand comes to rest on the small of Buck’s back.

They kiss and they kiss and they kiss, and Buck revels in every single second of it, memorizing the way they fit together.

A knock at the door startles them out of it, snapping them back to reality.

Buck can see Tommy’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows and says, “Um, I have to—“ He points over his shoulder and Buck nods stupidly.

“Right, right. You should, you should get back out there,” he says, his heart pounding in his throat.

Tommy turns to leave and Buck feels like crying or maybe screaming. But then Tommy puts his hand on the doorknob and freezes there, not turning the handle to open it.

Something like hope bubbles up inside Buck.

“Hey, Tommy?” he finds himself saying after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah?” Tommy asks, looking back at Buck, his expression open and vulnerable and scared.

“Press send next time,” he says, and then watches as Tommy opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words.

Tommy looks only a little embarrassed as he nods and says, “I’ll do that. Bye, Evan.”

A minute after the door closes, that bubble of hope blossoms as his phone pings with a text.

drop a kudos or comment on ao3! <3

[pomefioredove]

can i order a sugar cookie, #18, with frosting and dry fruit please 💕💕 love your work

coughs weakly

order #18, sugar with frosting, dry fruit

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ intent to bite

summary: a miscommunication leads to sharing a small bed with lilia tropes: only one bed, first kiss characters: lilia additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu, who is an adult, a lil suggestive

"Told you this was a bad idea," Grim mumbles.

"Why am I stuck with Sebek, anyway?! I should be with my hench-human!"

You hold a finger to your lips. So much for hoping Grim would mind his manners on this trip.

"We've been over this," Silver says, carrying a six or seven bags inside the house. "Malleus will take the first guest room, Lilia and the Prefect will take the second, because it has two beds. Sebek and I are sleeping in the lounge, where there's a dog bed for you."

"I'm no dog!"

"That's not-" Silver sighs, looking to you for help. You have nothing.

Then, there's breath on your neck and a voice in your ear. "Oh, don't look so glum. It'll be a fine bonding experience for you boys!"

You jolt, and Lilia giggles into your ear, the airy, cheerful sound almost as teasing as the prank.

Grim sighs. "I bet Sebek snores like a lawn mower..."

"And you don't?" you mutter, much to Lilia's delight.

"Khee hee. Personally, I'm tickled by this! The Zigvolt family is as welcoming as ever. Oh, Malleus, do you need help with that?"

The smaller fae leaves to hold the door open for Malleus, while Grim repeats "tickled??" in a grumble. Silver sighs again.

"It's been a long journey. We'll all feel better once we've slept,"

"This can't be right,"

You stand in the narrow doorway, overnight bag in hand. The guest room is dark, but you can still feel how small it is. There's no way two people can fit in here.

Lilia peers over your shoulder. "What's- ah. I see,"

Your eyes adjust to the darkness. There's only one. There's only one bed.

"Now, this is unfortunate. Our rooms must have been mixed up. And Malleus has already retired, poor thing..."

You look at him. "What are we going to do?"

"Do? Why, sleep, of course,"

"Where?"

Lilia smiles and pats your head, as if you were an adorable kitty cat rather than a very tired and disgruntled adult after a full day of travel.

"In bed, my dear. Unless you were planning on taking the bath,"

He slips under your arm and into the room, tossing his bag on the floor with no regard or interest for the clothes and trinkets that spill from it.

You follow, putting your own things away as he makes himself comfortable on the bed. "Well?"

"...You can't honestly act as if this is normal,"

Lilia giggles. "What are you so afraid of? I'm not going to eat you,"

You listen, if only a little, sitting at the edge of the bed, as far from him as possible. Why is this making you so nervous?

"I'm just not used to it. That's all,"

Shit excuse. He can tell, too, if that smirk of his is any indication.

"Ah, I see. You think, hope, perhaps? that I'm going to make a move on you, as the kids say,"

Your eyes widen and you stumble over yourself, trying to come up with a rebuttal, an excuse, a lie, anything at all.

His smirk sharpens. Literally- his fangs dig into his lower lip, and he sticks his tongue out at you.

"If you're going to be this tense all night, you won't get any sleep. I'll tell you what-" he says, sitting up. "I will graciously allow you one kiss to sate your curiosity. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Now that's just unfair. "That's- what makes you think I would-!"

You stumble some more, and he drinks in the sight of you, flustered and nervous and oh-so close to him.

Lilia lets you argue with yourself until you're spent.

"...Fine,"

He claps. "Very well. Come here, Prefect,"

You sigh, but cross the bed, anyway, feeling the soft, handmade quilt underhand. You can't believe you're going to do this in Sebek's house, of all places...

Curse this fae.

You sit before him, far more vulnerable than you would have liked.

"Very good. But you could come a little closer, don't you think?"

Again, you listen. You sit on his lap, straddling his thighs, much to his delight.

"Better," he mumbles, perhaps more to himself than to you, because then his hand is holding the back of your head and his mouth is on yours.

Lilia doesn't give you much, and you know that's his intention. The kiss is much too chaste for him, and much too slow for you, but passion and pace were never a part of the deal.

You let it go.

And with some reluctance, you part from him, warm and jittery. That wasn't enough, and he knows it.

"You look like you have something you want to ask," Lilia says, his fingers brushing over your neck, feeling the beating of your heart in your pulse.

"...No," you lie.

He smirks again, baring his fangs as if warning you of his intent to bite.

"Khee hee. Don't worry, desire is nothing to be ashamed of. And we all have our little secrets... I, for example, may have asked Malleus to switch rooms with us."

Despite what Silver had said, you can't imagine sleeping now.

[mujingsi]

hi hali i promised annotations and i am here to deliver. but FIRST OFF. short and sweet playlist that i curated for this fic:

fly as me - bruno mars, silk sonic wide open (foreword) - niki saturn - lyn lapid you weren’t meant to see that - the rare occasions get it - keshi tsunami - niki nocturne (interlude) - laufey take a bite - beabadoobee

this fic is genuinely my roman empire and i think of it so so so much. thank u for putting ur whole writer-ussy into this. okay here we go,, Be prepared for a lot of incoherent rambling, dumb annotations that make no sense, and screaming.

It’s a bit of an overreaction, especially for a team who just dispatched a Category Four kaiju. But it doesn’t matter. Xander isn’t Jihoon’s first co-pilot and he won’t be his last. They rarely last long, a cycle of Rangers who cannot stand to work with him for more than a few fights. Jihoon examines the scratches on his suit, thinking that he needs to get it buffed while the Marshall deliberates how to answer Xander’s demands.

⤷ this is so fucking hot of him. ok sorry

They do that a lot, so in sync that despite the fact that they’re two different people, sometimes Jihoon feels like he’s talking to one. Wylie is a little shorter than Chan, but just as furious in personality and attitude. She leans against Chan, cocking her head to the side. It’s not a conscious movement but an instinct, her body naturally attaching to her co-pilot’s. Jihoon knows that level of closeness well.

⤷ JM SO IN LOVE WITH CHAN AND WYLIE YOU WILL BE HESRING MORE ABT THEM FRKM ME!!! theyre sooo in tune w it h each other and just the JUXAPOSITION OF THEM WITH JIHOON WHO LITERALLY JUSTTTT LOST A COPILOT LITERALLY MAKES IT EVEN MORENPERFECT !!! i will take anyyy wylie and chan crumbs im so so so serious <3

He trails to the shower, tossing his clothes in the hamper as he does. Leaving the lights on so it’s only the dull orange glow over his bed, he turns on the shower as hot as it will go. It takes a second, but soon steam is filling the room, choking him as he slides under the stream of water, sighing as the heat of it burns away any lingering frustration for the day.

⤷ Oh my god idk i can literally VISUALIZE THIS SO WELL I CAN HEAR THE SPRAY OF THE SHOWER AND HIS HEAVING SIGH AND AND

“Ever heard of foreplay?” you grunt, helping Maya out of the giant mech behind you. She shoots you a thankful grin, taking off her helmet. Her face is flushed pink, hairline sweaty. “You really just dive in dry, huh?”

⤷ all i’m saying is that this is me. LMFOAODOEKSD

Storm Breaker. It’s a good name for a jaeger and it matches the profile. She’s built to withstand the brutal waves of the deep ocean and the onslaught of a high-category kaiju. Your interest is piqued, curious about Storm Breaker and her brutal pilot.

⤷ everyone stay calm. it’s happening. ITS HAPPENING

Somewhere behind him, Jihoon hears Minghao shriek. “She bit me!” Scratch that. Maybe Wylie does bite.

⤷ LMFAOOOOO I LOVE WYLIE i wanna be friends with wylie and chan so bad I LOVE THEEEMMMM

“My new drift partner,” Seokmin sighs dreamily. Soonyoung and Seungkwan smack him at the same time, offended. They’re one of the few triple pilot groups, operating a massive piece of machinery made for slaughtering and hammering down on high-grade kaiju. “What? Look at her!”

⤷ BOOSOOKSEON COPILOTS!!!! I KEEP FUCKING WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i can already imagine the chaos,,, i just LOVE how youve characterized them all <3

A collective hum goes through them. All of them recall that situation, but no one says a thing. The weight of Cherry’s absence sits heavy on them - even Jihoon misses her a little.

⤷ I LOVE WHEN FICS REFERENCE ESCH OTHER LIKE THIS IS LITERALLY SOOOOOOO GOOD UGGHHHH THE TIMELINES ADDING UP <33 i need to put the cherrybomb fic on my tbr!!!! bro im being so serious when i say ive never even consumed pacific rim AND YOU MAKE ME WANT TO CONSUME THE MEDIA PLSDLDFKGF

Lee Jihoon is prettier in person. You don’t know why it’s the first thing you notice as you watch him walk across the training center. He’s dressed in fitted cargo pants and a racing jacket over a t-shirt, emphasizing his broad shoulders. His hair is bleached and pinned into a low bun, some of his bangs hanging in his dark eyes. He doesn't notice you watching him as he nears an empty mat, shedding the jacket.

⤷ everyday i thank the universal super being that hali wrote long blonde haired jihoon. like r u kidding me. just look at this paragraph. everyone say thank you hali. thank you hali

“So are you my new co-pilot?” a soft voice startles you and you turn to see that Jihoon has snuck up on you. His eyes are darker in person, entirely consuming as he looks down at you with a cocked head. His blonde hair sticks to his forehead, pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat. “You must be, right?”

⤷ i like how this can be read as jihoon either being taller than reader OR him thinking better of himself than them, therefore “looking down” on them (shakes like a chihuahua) (i know its most likely the former but STILL i like it. i like how it can be read as physically or metaphorically.)

Your intuition tells you that you’re perfectly matched, fighting style so similar that it’s hard to get a hit in - you won’t get a hit in, too in sync with him to out maneuver him.  So you deviate.  Instead of dodging a smack to the ribs, you let him hit you. His surprise is so apparent that he breaks his concentration and you strike, foot sweeping behind his ankle and pulling, knocking him from his feet. Jihoon goes down hard, breath leaving his lungs as you pounce, pinning him.

⤷ ooohhh.... so reader is LIKE THAT!!! I CAN ALREADY SENSE THIS IS GOING TO BE SO OOOOO GOOD. im eating my fist

Jihoon huffs underneath you, shaking his head. You’ve still got him pinned, your palm pressed to his chest and your knee planted in his stomach. He glances away from you and you become aware that everyone has stopped to watch the two of you spar. And you’re still on top of him.

⤷ AAUAEUEHEJEUEHRHEHEHWUEUE HES UNSETTLED!!! HE DOESNT LIKET HAT READER IS GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES!!!! I’m going INSANEEEEEE!!! bro the palpable TENSION,, THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM IS SO FUCKING INSANE AND THEY JUST MET,, please let this be a she falls first but he falls harder FUCK!!!!!

Jihoon snatches his phone and locks the screen, putting it face down. He scowls down, feeling his heart flip a little. Your scent drifts over to him at your proximity, a mix of amber and jasmine. It’s already familiar to him, having caught the scent when you pinned him down earlier, hand pressed to his heart-

⤷ THE TENSION IS SO FUCKJNN HGOODOFFDDJFKROWOWA

You’re pretty. He’s had attractive co-pilots before. That’s not new, nor has it ever bothered him. Something about you draws the eye, though. He thinks it’s the aura of confidence you give off, effortlessly comfortable in your skin and your situation, despite Jihoon not making it any easier on you.

⤷ once again guys. HE WILL FALL HARDER!!!!!!!!!! AND I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT JN A GOOD WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seungcheol relaxes, and though he doesn’t introduce himself, he’s not unkind to you. Jihoon feels a pang for the pilot, knowing that the last year has been difficult for him. Cherry left Seungcheol adrift without a partner, and he’s been unable to find someone to replace her.

⤷ once again hali this is literally like. so insane how easily u are able to reference and bring alt fics into this,,,, like i am SO curious about chan and wylie’s relationship as well as cheol and cherry’s like it’s just SK GOOD AHHH

“Tchaikovsky was inspired by Mozart.” “I didn’t say one was better than the other.” You smirk. “You don’t like differences of opinion, do you?” “I always value opinions. Some more than others.” “Mhmm. Where can I put my things?”

⤷ screaming crying ripping my hair out THEYRE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER!!!!! ALREADY BANTERING AND ALL THAT JAZZ

Weather the storm, you think to yourself. Jihoon is angry and capricious, but it’s more to do with his situation than it is to do with you. And despite his snappy nature, there are flashes of him willing to work with you by answering questions, albeit with attitude. You can do this. You can make Lee Jihoon like you. Maybe even respect you.

⤷ really like the mindset reader has it’s just an overall really good way to view life????? and i think it really compliments jihoon nicely

“Are you a coffee person?” he asks, because he knows you’re awake. Of course he does. You don’t answer for a moment, stuck between eyeing the narrow taper of his hips and the question that implies he’s willing to make you coffee. He turns, arching a brow at you. “Now you shut up?”

⤷ I, too, would be drooling. Me too. (barking loudly. snarling. FUCK!!!;!(!;!(!;!;&:&;)

Jihoon shuffles into the bathroom. You hear the faucet turn on and you go back to tilting your head backward under the stream of water, ignoring the sound of him going about his morning routine. In a way, it’s sort of peaceful, the sounds of him softly opening and closing cabinets and the clinking of jars against the counter soft in the background.

⤷ My god it’s so domestic. My hod. mmmm i love domesticity especially in intense situations .... in life or death situations ....... ughhhh the moments of peace and calm ....

“Meditating. Turn back around so we can be back-to-back.” “What? Why?” “Just trust me.” “I don’t.”

⤷ this is me highlighting this passage and making little heart doodles next to it bc i LOVE BANTERRRRR

You roll your eyes at the barb but grin when Jihoon listens, twisting back around to face the front. He lets you settle against him, the warmth from his back melting into yours. He is rigid, his spine solid as it digs into yours for a second. You lick your lips, feeling electricity shiver down you at the contact, like there’s a spark.

⤷ i need them to jump each other’s bones already

“She did, but it doesn’t make up for what she did. I was her equal, not someone she was supposed to protect.” You look at him and he looks at you, surrounded by your memories in the drift. “I am deserving of treated like an equal.”

⤷ god this entire passage is so powerful i love love when fics give reader Background and Character and mold them!!! and the way that reader is insinuating that they want jihoon to trust her ,,,,

There is a melody to your mind that he enjoys, though he’ll never tell you so. The more you drift together, the more Jihoon realizes that you are exactly like a Tchaikovsky piece. There is an organized chaos to you, a mathematical formula that is logical and measurable, but that deviates from the norm once in a while.

⤷ HES COMPARING HER TO MUSIC

⤷ EVERYOEN FUCKING STAY CALM

Jihoon has quickly learned that the longer he lets you sleep in the morning, the less whiny you are when you wake up. Instead of playing his music out loud, he lets you sleep until he’s made two cups of coffee, adding a spoonful of brown sugar and milk to yours. He sets it on the table and walks back to the bathroom, one of the requiem pieces carrying him through his routine.

⤷ guys it’s so FOMESTIC,,, it’s so FUCKING DOMESTIC IM GENUIENLY GOIGN TO CRY THE ACTS OF SERVICE THE THOUGHTFULNESS THE QUIET FONDNESS FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You want to be an extra set of eyes and ears.” He nods at the accurate assessment. “Got it. Run me through Solar Saber drop stats if you know them.”

⤷ ik i keep saying this but i just really love how reader and jihoon don’t have to. Talk. to understand each other they just,,, do? they just know. they just KNOW

“It looks like that kaiju is playing you like a bongo,” Wylie’s voice comes over comms. “Hey Woozi, do you feel like it’s composing one of those songs you like?” “Oh sure,” he shoots back. “Take your time, Wylie. It’s not like it’s trying to crack us like an egg.”  “Ugh,” you sigh. “Don’t talk about food. I didn’t eat breakfast. Hey Seungkwan, can you ask Joshua to save me some hash browns? He’s always at the cafeteria first.”  Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You’re all insane. Any day now, Fang Striker.”

⤷ PLEASE,,, I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH THEIR BONDS ARE SO SILLY!!!!! I am so attached to them <33 love their relationships with each other!!

“So,” you ask the group. “Can we get hashbrowns now?” Jihoon realizes at that moment he doesn’t dislike you at all.

⤷ HES FALLING HARDDDDDD AAAAAAAAJKFDGHJDFKHGFJKGHDFKJG

You’ve adopted a lot of things that Jihoon does. It happens naturally, especially the more you drift. You find yourself putting on Mozart instead of Tchaikovsky or taking your coffee black on accident or scolding others in the training room for not being precise and perfect.  Ghost Drifting is what some call it. You don’t think you’re quite there yet, being that Jihoon still hides half of himself away. But sometimes, even outside of the drift, you feel him in your mind like a phantom presence.

love love LOVE when people are close enough that they leave pieces of themselves in each other < 3 it’s always so good no matter if it’s romantic or not

He doesn’t feel your eyes on him, going about making tea for the both of you. He hums along to the song - you don’t know when he became so familiar with it, his movements comfortable. Practiced. Relaxed. A swell of affection overtakes you, realizing you don’t know when he started making you tea. Or putting on Tchaikovsky for you. Or not biting at you every two seconds. 

⤷ i’m seriously going to bite my fist it’s the way that jihoon is slowly slowly opening up like a terrified shelter cat god i’m so so so in love with how u characterized his character hali omfg

“Five minutes until surface breach.”  “Oh! Hi, Vernon,” you chirp.  “Sup?” “Would kill for a coffee right now. And like, a bagel. Or hashbrowns?”  Vernon groans. “Mood.”  Jihoon snorts but says nothing. Minghao’s voice comes over the comms, soft and cool. “Blue, everytime I drop with you you’re talking about food.”  “Have you considered that Ji doesn't feed me?”  “So it’s Ji now, huh?” “Don’t get her started,” Jihoon grunts at Minghao’s teasing. “One mile out from the line of defense.” Chan joins the conversation, voice chipper. “Fang Striker ready to pursue. Also, good morning everyone!”  Everyone groans in misery collectively instead of greeting him back. Wylie’s voice cracks like a whip as she spits out, “Be nice to him.”

⤷ LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE i’ve always been SUCH a big fan abt romance stories being more than just the (obvious) romance of the reader and character interacting w one another. the stronger and complex the relationships are w other side characters the better!!! like i can tell sm about ALL characters just from this little snippet!! like there’s so much to be implied here. the insinuation of emperor's mandate and storm breaker dropping together in the past? the implication that hao is catching onto jihoon letting blue in? the soft bullying of chan and how protective wylie is? i love it. love love love

It’s a lie. You know it's a lie because you feel it is as sure as you feel your own glittering satisfaction that he’s thinking about it. That Jihoon is considering opening the door for you, even a fraction.

⤷ oh shut up. oh actually shut up rn. AAAUUUGUGHHHHHHHHHHFJDJSHWHWJAKALEOWOFKR LET HER IN LET HER IBNNNNNN

“There was no reading!” Vernon yells back. “The signature appeared a half second before it attacked like it had some sort of stealth mode!”  “Kaiju don’t have fucking stealth mode, Vernon!” “Maybe it got an iOS update man, I don’t know!”

⤷ PLEAAAASE THIS IS SO FUCKING UNDERIOUS I LOVE VERNON SO MUCH LMFAOAOAODOEODOW

“I guess I’m not so bad a co-pilot after all, right?” He rolls his eyes but you get the feeling the tips of his ears have turned red. “Come on, Ji. Tell me I’m a good co-pilot.” “No way.” “Come onnnn.” He levels a look at you, dark eyes churning. He licks his lips, opening and closing his mouth before he finally murmurs, “Can I show you instead?”

⤷ are you. kidin g me. MY FUCKJNG STIMACH DID THE FUCKJGN FLIP THJNGY HALI FUCK YOU JESUSU HFSJDFFHGCHRIST YJEOWIWOD YEOWLS

Snatches of panic and anger and concern seize you for a split second, it feels like your own but you realize it’s not, Jihoon’s feelings bleeding into you like a fresh wound as you strike at the kaiju again. Its tail loops around the left leg again and Jihoon’s worry spikes, so raw and unfamiliar that when he lifts his foot, you don’t lift yours.

⤷ OH MY FUCKIGN GOD!!!!!! OH MY FUCKIGNG GGODODDDDDDDDD. SCREMAING PULLING AT MY FUCKING HAIR. the first time they are uncoordinated.......... GODD........... YELLINGGUYS

A little boy bullied by bigger kids. A woman being torn out of a home screaming in the hand of a kaiju. The sound of Mozart drowning out the screams of destruction. Young Jihoon crying in his room alone, nursing bruised ribs and knees. Teenage Jihoon fighting back. A man named Haneul that has seen all of Jihoon’s scars.

⤷ its the way im fuckinf screaming into my PILLOW ALL OF THE JIHOON LORE,,,,,,

Hatred when he meets you for the first time. Pride when he makes his first successful drop. Grief when Haneul retired. Resentment when he’s reassigned to a new pilot.  Jihoon screams your name but you are drowning in him. Jihoon’s emotional dam has broken and years worth of who he is comes out in a torrent. Jihoon joins the pilot program because he wants to get away from the home. The smell of books and oil lanterns. Greasy fingers and fumes. A blue mat rushing up to meet him as he falls.

⤷ SO MUCH JNFORMAJTON AT ONCE,,, OH MY GOD HALI. YOU ARE SOOOO GOOD AT WRITING INTERJECTIONS. AT WRITING LIKE. FAST PACED MOVING SCENARIOS my heart is actually beating SO fast reading all of this like i feel so full of suspense and yearning and hoping that everything will be okay

“Shit,” Jihoon swears. “Blue, come on. Come back to me. I’m sorry. Don’t chase my memories!” A kite against a blue sky. Two paper boats on a lake. Your smile as you hang upside down off the bunk bed. Soonyoung giving Jihoon a birthday cake. Wylie in a hospital bed. Jeonghan and Joshua accepting pilots of the year.  “I’m sorry,” Jihoon whispers, both in your mind and outloud. “Come back.”

⤷ this,,,,,,,, this,,!!,,,,,,!!!!!!!!! THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS BREAKING THE STORM SHE IS THE STORM BREAKER. fuc k SHE IS JIHOONS STORM BREAKER IM GOING TO SOB MY HEART

You feel your words resonate in him. His affection is startling. He hides nothing from you now, every thought he’s ever had of you, every moment his eyes lingered on you too, every second he realized he didn’t dislike you at all - it’s all there for you to see. His soul laid bare.

⤷ I’m fucjfjnggnot on the floor hali

“So she’ll be okay?” he clarifies again, looking at the doctor with a hard stare. The man tending to your arm looks nervous under the sharp gaze of a jaeger pilot. “You’re sure it’s not broken? It better not be broken.”

⤷ jihoon care agenda,,, ,, , ,,, fuck im so ruined. im such a goddamn fucking sucker for big climaxes that end with character A being so desperate about character B being okay,,,, and you NAILED IT!!!

Back in your room, Jihoon sits you on his bottom bunk to examine the arm himself, holding you carefully as though he can break you at any moment. You let him have this, watching as his eyebrows crease and mouth twists while he rotates your arm delicately.

⤷ chefs fucking kiss chefs. fucking kiss. idk just something about the way he has never been so direct about his attention on blue until now like ru kidding me. its like suddenly all there is in his life is blue and itm akes me want to cry (in a good way)

“You’re not, Jihoon.” You squeeze his arm to emphasize your words. “But even if you were, I trust that little boy too. He was empathetic and kind.” Jihoon glances at you, unsure. “Don’t run away from me now that you’ve let me in. I’ve seen you and I still want you. Unless you don’t want me.” “Of course I do.” “It’s hard to tell with you, you know?” His gaze drops down to your mouth. “I’ll show you, then.”

⤷ my live reaction to this:

Kissing Jihoon is like standing in the eye of a storm. He’s brutal and calm, sharp and soft. His heart beats against yours, his chest heaving when he pulls away from your mouth to press wet kisses to the shape of your jaw and down your throat.

⤷ allusions to storm ,,, he is the storm she broke ,,,,,

“Thank you for waiting for me.” You almost don’t hear him when he says it, his voice so soft. “When you didn’t have to.” Your arms loop around his neck, pulling him closer. His nose brushes against yours and you feel your adoration for him grow. “Of course I did. You were meant for me.”

⤷ you were meant for me. you were meant for me. do you know how much that sentence means to someone who only ever had the textbook definition of love? are you kidding me? you were meant for me. being you means being for me. the meaning of you is to be mine and the meaning of me is to be yours

“Thank you.”  You’re so close to sleep that you barely register what he’s saying. “For what?” “Withstanding the storm,” he laughs. “Withstanding me and waiting me out.” “You’re worth it.” “I hope so. I want to be.”

⤷ hali. HALI. the promise of growth and character development. the sentiment of saying thank you for being there while i was difficult instead of i'm sorry you had to see me while i was difficult. once again the full circle back to withstanding the storm. she IS jihoon's storm breaker. god.

TLDR:

⤷ 10/10. this is absolutely one of my favorite fucking woozi fics out there. the world building, the character dynamics, the romance, the beautiful character development,,,, this fic really has it all!!! its genuinely genuinely genuinely one of my favorites out of the (probably five bajillion) fics i've read. and trust me when i've seen i've read a LOT of fics. i usually don't even reread them (i have a hard time enjoying when i know what happens next) but your writing is so so so goddamn good and keeps me on my toes and always has me wanting more. thank u for sticking along the ride of my crazy annotations LMFAO okay thats all goodbye!!!

Storm Breaker (l.jh)

Pairing: Jaeger Pilot!Lee Jihoon x Jaeger Pilot! f.reader  

Summary: It’s a known fact Lee Jihoon is one of the best pilots the jaeger Program has. The only problem? He can’t keep a co-pilot to save his life. He thinks you’ll just be another Ranger in the rotation, but you are an unpleasant surprise. 

Word Count: 23,373

Genre: Pacific Rim AU, Forced Proximity, Annoyed to Lovers

Type: Smut, Angst

Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

Warnings: Jihoon is a bit of an asshole, action/fighting scenes, brief descriptions of blood, mentions of offscreen deaths, brief mentions of sick parents, brief mention of having no family, sexual tension, explicit language, A Lot of Pacific Rim Techincal Terms But They’re Explained, terrible humor, a hint of angst, brief depictions of Jihoon being insecure about his childhood, sexually explicit content including nipple play, biting, a total of one (1) spank, oral (f. receiving), the slightest hint of voyeurism mentioned, unprotected sex (don’t do this), multiple orgasms, a lot of spit and cum, cum eating, vaginal fingering, a lot of biting, Jihoon is emotionally constipated and then lets it all out lmfaoooo

A/N: This is a re-upload from my old blog, since this was one of the stories that got blasted to the moon. Please enjoy PacRim Uji, who I love so dearly.

A/N 2: SPECIAL THANKS TO @daechwitatamic for not only collaborating with me on our little corner of the internet, but beta reading this giant piece and constantly motivating me while writing it. I could not be anywhere without you I love u 

Also in this Universe: Cherry Bomb by @daechwitatamic

Main Masterlist | Ask | Read Next: Cherry Bomb

Jihoon doesn’t flinch when Xander throws his helmet against the wall. The crash is loud, but the reinforced material doesn’t crack under the force of the concrete. It clatters to the floor while Jihoon tucks his helmet under his right arm. Sweat drips down the side of his neck and down his back, but he can’t get to it while in his Drivesuit. 

Just add it to his list of inconveniences.  

Everyone in the room freezes as Xander storms toward the command center and right for the Marshall in charge, his steps thunderous against the metal floor. Instead of following him, Jihoon leans against the doorframe, watching the way his co-pilot rages, imagining steam coming out of his ears. 

“I can’t fucking pilot with him,” Xander screams, stabbing an accusatory finger in Jihoon’s direction. “I refuse to do it. Reassign me.” 

Eyes drift toward Jihoon. He ignores them, watching as Xander stops at the command post where both the Marshall and the LOCCENT Mission Controller who just walked them through their kaiju fight stand. Both of them stare at Xander, who is red in the face, chest heaving. 

It’s a bit of an overreaction, especially for a team who just dispatched a Category Four kaiju. But it doesn’t matter. Xander isn’t Jihoon’s first co-pilot and he won’t be his last. They rarely last long, a cycle of Rangers who cannot stand to work with him for more than a few fights. Jihoon examines the scratches on his suit, thinking that he needs to get it buffed while the Marshall deliberates how to answer Xander’s demands. 

“Ranger-” 

Xander cuts off the Marshall. Bold, if you ask Jihoon. “I’ll leave the fucking program if that’s what I have to do. I won’t pilot with him anymore, I don’t care that we can drift. He won’t trust me, he won’t give up the reins and he refuses to let me in. He’s arrogant and pig headed!”

“Pig headed,” Jihoon mutters to himself. “That’s new.” 

The Marshall sighs heavily, eyes drifting toward Jihoon, who is still leaning against the doorframe. He lifts a single shoulder in a shrug, unsure what the Marshall expected. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Marshall asks Xander to follow him, gesturing toward the door at the back of the command center that leads into offices. 

Silence blankets the room at their departure. At least, as silent as it can get in the jaeger hub. The beeping of machinery and radar is a constant sound under the hum of machinery and the awkward cough of one of the workers in the room. Jihoon raises his brows as if to ask someone to say something. No one does and he nods, dismissing himself. 

Laughter trails up the stairs followed by loud steps. He looks down to see Chan and Wylie coming up the stairwell, cheeks flushed and hairlines sweaty from their battle with Dreadfury only minutes earlier. Their team had the assist on the kill, and though they hadn’t landed the final blow, their constant offense had given Jihoon and his partner the time they needed to figure out how to move in. 

Chan sees Jihoon and raises a questioning brow, pausing in the stairs. “Lose your co-pilot?” he asks, looking Jihoon up and down. 

“How’d you guess?” 

“Standard,” Chan and Wylie say at the same time. 

They do that a lot, so in sync that despite the fact that they’re two different people, sometimes Jihoon feels like he’s talking to one. Wylie is a little shorter than Chan, but just as furious in personality and attitude. She leans against Chan, cocking her head to the side. It’s not a conscious movement but an instinct, her body naturally attaching to her co-pilot’s. Jihoon knows that level of closeness well. 

“Think they’ll just finally get rid of you?”

“Nope.” 

“Standard,” they both say in unison again. It’s Chan who says, “Must be nice to get away with murder, Woozi.” He continues up the stairs, clapping Jihoon on the shoulder as he goes. Wylie trails behind him, shooting Jihoon a grin. “One day you’re gonna end up on your ass.” 

“That’s fine. You’ll both take me in, right?” 

Both of their voices meld as they howl in laughter, passing him and going into the command center, yelling “Nope!” 

Despite their teasing, Jihoon smiles. He’s known the pair for years and despite their ability to get under his skin, he’s fond of them. They’re good jaeger pilots, scrappy as they come and vicious in the field. Unlike Jihoon, they’ve piloted their jaeger together from the start, syncing like twin flames and sticking to one another. 

It helps that they grew up together, of course. And that they’re in a relationship, one heart, one soul. 

Sighing, Jihoon jogs down the rest of the stairs, tired and sore. He needs a shower, food and a fucking nap. He and Xander had been pulling extra shifts, the kaiju activity having increased with the bad weather. He suspects it was also in an attempt to get Jihoon to bond with Xander more and get him to open up, but that hadn’t happened.

That’s the problem with piloting with Jihoon. The more time people spend with him, the less they can stomach the way he resists them in the mental bridge that connects co-pilots. It isn’t that he’s afraid for them to see what’s in his head - they haven’t earned a right to his privacy.

Privacy is important to him. 

Murmurs ripple through the cafeteria as he enters, rolling his head to the side to try and workout the kink that is formed there. He glances around and fights the urge to roll his eyes. Word spreads fast when you’re secluded in the Shatterdome with nothing but fucking ocean and giant monsters around you. 

As usual, he ignores the stares and whispering. He catches Soonyoung’s eye from afar and shrugs when his friend gives him a questioning glance, earning an eye roll. Not for the first time, Jihoon finds himself wondering why someone like Soonyoung or Wonwoo can’t be his partner. 

Drift compatibility. 

He knows that’s the answer, but he’ll never stop wishing that pairing jaeger pilots together was a little easier. So many factors go into making people drift compatible and yet he’s yet to find a partner he can tolerate - or tolerate him in return. If it were as easy as picking his friends, he’d have settled with someone long ago. 

Brushing away the thought, he heads to his room. It doesn’t matter what he wants. If wishes were horses, everyone would be a rider. He’s pretty sure that one of his former co-pilots had said that - in regard to Jihoon being impossible to work with, of course. 

The dark and quiet of his room brings the peace Jihoon craves. He feels the tension melt from his shoulders. He suddenly realizes how tired he is, feeling like parchment stretched too thin over a rough surface. He peels himself out of his clothes methodically, welcoming the chill of the room against his sweaty skin. 

He trails to the shower, tossing his clothes in the hamper as he does. Leaving the lights on so it’s only the dull orange glow over his bed, he turns on the shower as hot as it will go. It takes a second, but soon steam is filling the room, choking him as he slides under the stream of water, sighing as the heat of it burns away any lingering frustration for the day. 

Tomorrow, he’ll have a new partner. It’s a simple fact and a routine he is familiar with. That’s fine with him - they can keep assigning people to him until they find someone competent. Jihoon isn’t going anywhere. 

He has nowhere else to go anyway. 

-

“I need you to do me a favor,” Kira says before you can finish stepping out of the jaeger. The Marshall of the Sydney Shatterdome looks deadly serious. You scoff under the helmet, reaching up to unclasp it and shuck it off. Fresh air fills your lungs. It’s hot and tastes like metal in the jaeger bay, but it’s familiar. “And I need an answer quickly.”

“Ever heard of foreplay?” you grunt, helping Maya out of the giant mech behind you. She shoots you a thankful grin, taking off her helmet. Her face is flushed pink, hairline sweaty. “You really just dive in dry, huh?” 

“You know my cousin is a Marshall of a Shatterdome overseas?” 

You pause. “Yeah.” 

“They’re asking for a skilled pilot to pair with one of their Rangers. They sent over the drift profile and you’re the only pilot we have that’s a match.” You frown and she holds out a hand to stop your protest, a crease in her mouth. “Just look over the report and the profile I sent you, alright?” 

“I mean, my answer is no. I’m fine here.”

“You are. You’re one of our best teams,” Kira says earnestly, her dark eyes flicking between you and Maya. “But respectfully, your value is needed elsewhere. There isn’t enough activity here to keep a veteran of your status on shift, Blue.”

You feel a flicker of uncertainty. Rarely does Kira use your nickname. It’s too familiar for a military commander of her status, and though you’ve considered her a friend for years, she never uses your nickname on shift. Unless she really needs something from you.  

Licking your lips, you hesitate to answer. You don’t want to say she’s right about your skillset and risk insulting your coworkers and other pilots in the jaeger Program, but it’s an accurate statement. The Shatterdome you report to is old - one of the first built in the beginning. But kaiju activity is mostly unpredictable, shifting with the tides. You barely get them once a month anymore, and there are too many pilots who need the practice.

You don’t. 

You glance at Maya and she offers a soft smile. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be my co-pilot forever. Hoped, maybe. But I didn't expect it.”

“Oh come on, I’m with you for life, Maya.” 

“Romantic.” Maya’s gaze softens. “Marshall has a point, though. We’re a little… slow here.” 

It makes a pang go through your heart. Maya has been your co-pilot since your mother passed away, and though you didn’t go through the Ranger training program with her, she’s the perfect balance to you. You like having her around, and the thought of changing pilots just because someone wants your experience is… unideal. 

Sensing your unease, Maya reaches out and touches your forearm, squeezing over the metal of your Drivesuit. Her smile is soft. Knowing. Like she knew that being in the drift with you wasn’t forever, and she’s already saying bye. 

“Look,” Kira sighs, bringing your attention back to her. “My cousin really needs a skilled pilot and someone who is a leader and isn’t afraid of working with veteran pilots. They get more activity, and they need someone sharp. Skilled. Strong.” 

“I mean, I’ll look over the papers.” 

“Thank you.” She steps away. “I need to know by the end of the day, though.”

“Jesus Christ, Marshall. End of the day is in like two hours.”

Her smile is firm. “I know.” 

Waving her off, you leave your jaeger behind, Maya trailing after you. She peppers you with encouragement as you walk, steps heavy on the metal catwalk. You don’t respond right away, thoughts trying to catch up with being thrown an offer immediately after slamming a monster back into the depth of the ocean just minutes ago. 

You don’t have to ask why you. Drift compatibility alone is important enough to move jaeger pilots around the world from Shatterdome to Shatterdome in order to make the best pairs possible. There aren’t a ton of pilots - especially among the younger ones - at your base that are compatible with you.

Stubborn, Kira had always said. Finding an equally dominant co-pilot that meshes with you is difficult. You suspect that if you were not extremely talented at what you do and a veteran at your base, they might have moved you to an advisory position a long time ago.

Advising is not for you, though. The grind of metal and the heat of the fight is where you thrive, letting your mind go empty, entirely driven by instinct. Instinct was the reason you were so good at fighting kaiju. Your mom had always said you had the instinct of a warrior, and after putting down as many monsters to protect humanity’s coasts, you had to agree. 

Maya immediately goes to the shower once you reach your shared room. You dive onto the bottom bunk, snatching the tablet sitting on your night stand. Your eyes squint from the brightness, sensitive in the dim room. Clicking through your emails, you find the reporting and profile from Kira and open it, information unfurling before you. 

“Huh,” You muse, raising your brows as Lee Jihoon appears on your screen. “I know your name.” 

His profile is impeccable - and so is his skill. Chewing on your lip, you throw yourself onto your cot and flip through all of the materials provided on your potential co-pilot. Veteran Ranger. Highly skilled in combat. Top of his class in the academy. 

Clicking on the attachments, you watch the attached videos. There’s clips from his fights in and out of the suit. You find yourself hypnotized by his fighting style. There is a beauty to it, but it’s absolutely lethal. Efficient. There are no extra flourishes, no showmanship. Lee Jihoon fights to kill. 

“So why do you need me?” you mutter to yourself, pulling up his past partners. The list is extensive, stretching back to multiple co-pilots over weeks at a time. “Jesus christ. You do not play nice.”

He must not, at least. Half of the pilots assigned to him are only barely compatible. You know it takes more than just matching fight styles, but based on the history glowing at you from the screen, Jihoon’s Marshall was doing anything they could to keep him, even if it meant pairing him with someone who was scoring as low as 54% compatible. 

Pulling up your side-by-side analysis, you whistle. 98% was a good fucking number. You’d only ever had 90% with your mom, and she was genetically linked to you. Still, with as many partners as Jihoon has had in the past year alone, you don’t know that it’s worth it, even if his base has more kaiju activity and looks to be in need of veteran fighters.

Sighing, you close the tablet and throw it on the pillow. Resting your head against the metal wall, you close your eyes, thinking. You’re happy where you’re at. You’re a leader here, and you like Maya as your partner. She’s young and eager to learn - and you like your jaeger. Shadow Stalker is a good suit, though a little older. 

Biting your lip, you grab the tablet again, opening the jaeger details on Jihoon’s profile. Newer model. Built for endurance. Equipped with multiple blades, suited for pilots who prefer sword-style fighting. She’s painted gray-blue like the deepest part of a storm - blue like your mother’s first jaeger, which makes you grin. 

Storm Breaker. It’s a good name for a jaeger and it matches the profile. She’s built to withstand the brutal waves of the deep ocean and the onslaught of a high-category kaiju. Your interest is piqued, curious about Storm Breaker and her brutal pilot. 

Closing the tablet again, you stare into the distance, thinking. “What’s your deal, Lee Jihoon?” 

-

Jihoon hates sparring with Chan almost as much as he hates sparring with Wylie. Chan doesn’t scratch at Jihoon like a feral cat like Wylie might, but he does bite, which is exactly what he does when he can’t get out of Jihoon’s hold. 

“You fucker,” Jihoon hisses, letting him go. Chan slips out of Jihoon’s grasp and rolls to his feet a few feet away, crouched low and ready to go again. Despite years of being a jaeger pilot, Chan nor his co-pilot have fallen out of their scrapy upbringings, fighting like two street orphans. “What, are you going to bite a kaiju if you can?” 

“Of course not. I just don’t like losing to you.”

“Too bad.” Jihoon straightens and lifts his fists, planting his feet firmly. Sweat slicks the back of his neck, wispy pieces of hair escaping his hair tie and sticking to damp skin. “No more biting.” 

“No promises.” 

Somewhere behind him, Jihoon hears Minghao shriek. “She bit me!”

Scratch that. Maybe Wylie does bite. 

Chan comes at Jihoon again. He’s a good fighter and he’s ruthless. It’s one of Jihoon’s favorite things about him. But there’s always an opening, always a moment between fluid movements that reveals itself that Jihoon can take advantage of. 

He does exactly that, going on the defense, watching and waiting for the moment. When it reveals itself, Jihoon strikes lightning fast, catching Chan in the chest hard and taking him down to the ground. Jihoon feels the wind leave Chan’s lungs as he coughs hard, head smacking the mat. 

Behind them, Jihoon hears the collective wince. Chan is dazed for a second, groaning underneath Jihoon’s hand pressed to his chest. He can feel the hammering of Chan’s heart, a little faster than his own. When it’s clear Chan isn’t going to claw at him, Jihoon stands and offers him a hand.

With a heaving sigh, Chan takes it. Jihoon claps him on the back, grinning as Chan tries to catch his breath, rubbing the back of his head. “That hurt.”

“Oops.” Chan looks over Jihoon’s shoulder and grins, causing him to turn around and follow the younger’s gaze. Wylie sweeps her feet under Mingho’s, knocking him to the mat. She pounces like a creature from hell before he can react, pinning him down. “Well, at least one of us didn’t get our ass beat today.” 

“Stop biting, Dino,” Jihoon says as they trail off the mat, a warning. Chan has the decency to look chagrined, bowing slightly to his superior. Jihoon adores the kid, but he will not serve as a chew toy. 

Grabbing a water, Jihoon sits down on the floor with Seungkwan, Soonyoung and Seokmin as Junhui and Minghao trade places. Minghao is nursing a scratch on his neck from Wylie’s nails, muttering about her being a demon straight from hell as he sits. Wylie gives her new opponent a wicked grin, taking her place on the mat and beckoning Junhui toward her. Jihoon shakes his head, gulping down water and leaning back on his hands. 

“Fresh blood,” Soonyoung notes, gesturing toward the training room entrance as the Marshall leads a group of people in. “They’re holding trials for the two new mark fives tomorrow. Wanna go?” 

“No.” 

Soonyoung laughs. “Come on, they might be looking for another partner for you too.”

“Don’t care.” 

“You can’t keep going through partners, man.”

Jihoon doesn’t react, eyes scanning the group of cadets. They all look fresh-faced and in awe as they’re led around the mats, wide eyes glued to the sparring pilots as they go. His eyes settle on you, though, pausing. 

You don’t have the same awestruck wonder as the other cadets, trailing behind them as your eyes scan the structure, the fighters and the equipment around you. Calculating. Critical. You’re a little older than the other cadets too - not in looks but in aura, chin lifted, gaze sharp. Experienced. 

Soonyoung follows Jihoon’s line of sight and straightens. “Woah. Who is that?” 

“My new drift partner,” Seokmin sighs dreamily. Soonyoung and Seungkwan smack him at the same time, offended. They’re one of the few triple pilot groups, operating a massive piece of machinery made for slaughtering and hammering down on high-grade kaiju. “What? Look at her!” 

“You shouldn’t fuck your co-pilot,” Seungkwan mutters. “Look what happened to Seungcheol and Cherry. She’s still at that training facility in Alaska. Didn’t come back after their drift glitched.” 

A collective hum goes through them. All of them recall that situation, but no one says a thing. The weight of Cherry’s absence sits heavy on them - even Jihoon misses her a little. 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung notes cryptically, eyeing Wylie. She’s managed to get Junhui off his feet, slamming him down with a rattle of mat and springs, pinning him with a savage growl. Wylie Coyote indeed, Jihoon thinks, smirking. “Seems to work for Wylie just fine. God, look at Chan, he literally has heart eyes. Disgusting.” 

It’s true. The pilot in question sits at the edge of the mat, elbows resting on top of his knees as he watches his girlfriend with his mouth open, lips upturned a little. His eyes are dazed, focused on Wylie as she holds onto a thrashing Junhui. There’s so much love in his gaze that Jihoon averts his eyes, worried he’s observing something sacred and private.  

“Not everyone is like them,” Seungkwan shoots back. “They share a brain cell.” 

“We’re literally drift partners. We basically do the same thing.” 

“And yet I don’t want to fuck you, Hoshi.” 

Soonyoung cocks his head to the side. “You know, that brings up a valid question-”

“No,” the other three say at the same time, cutting him off before he can get going. 

Still, Seungkwan’s point is valid. The drift is something that is so intimate that it isn’t uncommon for copilots to have a romance or some sort of tension. The neural handshake makes you become one, unable to hide anything. It is inviting someone else into your head to see everything you see, everything you have seen. Memories, feelings, thoughts - nothing is yours anymore. 

Jihoon hides it all from his co-pilots. He knows he’s not supposed to - openness and being honest and true with your partner makes for a better drift. But the intimacy of the connection makes him uncomfortable, and he’s not ready for anyone to see him - really see him. 

So he hides in the drift. Knows how to bring nothing to it, to give only the parts of himself he has to in order for his partner to fight alongside him. Jihoon gives nothing more. And they don’t need it, frankly. 

The Marshall leads the new recruits back out of the room. He watches you go, wondering what your deal is. As though you sense his eyes on you, your eyes flicker over to his, catching his gaze. He’s unsure why, but he pauses, the room stilling for a split second. Then you’re grinning wickedly, vanishing from the room. 

He brushes it off and turns his eyes back to his friends. 

-

Lee Jihoon is prettier in person. You don’t know why it’s the first thing you notice as you watch him walk across the training center. He’s dressed in fitted cargo pants and a racing jacket over a t-shirt, emphasizing his broad shoulders. His hair is bleached and pinned into a low bun, some of his bangs hanging in his dark eyes. He doesn't notice you watching him as he nears an empty mat, shedding the jacket. 

He’s compact. Small, but toned, muscles rippling as he begins to go through a series of stretches. You know he’s a good fighter from your observations the day before. Everything about him screams efficiency. You can’t put your thumb on it, but the way he carries himself is methodical.

Lee Jihoon is the perfect jaeger pilot on paper. 

It’s the partners that he has a problem with. He’s had eight co-pilots in the last year alone, which is more than anyone has the right to. Before that, he managed to keep someone for six months before they requested a transfer to a different location. 

You sense Jihoon’s gaze, realizing he’s picked up on your staring. His expression is as neutral as it was yesterday, as though he has zero interest in whoever you are. He must not - he turns away and gets back to what he was doing, the moment passing without fanfare. 

Everyone in the room is paired with their pilots, going through fight sequences. You watch the different pairs, noting those who exhibit high-drift compatibility and others who are still learning. You note how many talented pilots this base has, likely due to the high activity. 

As though the thought summons the very creatures from the depths of the ocean, an alarm goes off. You don’t flinch, used to the kaiju alert system. It had gone off the day before, though. You look up at the screen as it flashes the names of the pilots on duty, calling them to report to the drop bridge. 

A few shouts of good luck draw your attention to the center of the room where two of the younger pilots head out. You’d seen them sparring earlier, so in time with one another that you weren’t sure where one began and one ended. The man looks at the girl and gives her a smile so full of love that you look away, startled at its intensity. 

While romantic connections between pilots aren’t totally uncommon, you’re not used to it. Most of the Rangers at your old base were family members and childhood friends, connection deep and intimate but not like that. You wonder what it must be like, if it makes love any easier to be that deeply connected. 

“So are you my new co-pilot?” a soft voice startles you and you turn to see that Jihoon has snuck up on you. His eyes are darker in person, entirely consuming as he looks down at you with a cocked head. His blonde hair sticks to his forehead, pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat. “You must be, right?”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’re not a cadet. And you’ve been watching me for the better part of two hours.” 

You shrug. “You can learn a lot from watching veterans.” 

“You could at least offer to spar to see if we’re any good together.”

“You mean to see if I’m good enough for you.” He lifts a shoulder, not disagreeing with you. Wiping your palms on your knees, you stand up. Even though he’s small, you’re still a little shorter than him, nearly eye level. You stick your hand out, giving him your name. “But you can call me Blue.”

Instead of taking your hand, he nods and turns on his heel, striding back to the mat he occupied earlier. You stand and stare at the newly vacated spot, hand held out in the air. “Alright,” you mutter to yourself, dropping your hand and going after him. 

Eyes follow you. You can feel them as you trail after him, watching his smooth, even gait. Everything about Jihoon is refined and controlled, even down to the minute expressions as he steps onto the mat and turns to face you. Sliding your shoes off, you join him, feeling the spring beneath your step and the softness of the floor.

Jihoon heads to a rack of bo staffs, picking one up and tossing it to you. You snatch it, spinning it lightly to test the weight. The balance is near perfect, a slight weight to the left side. You adjust accordingly, grip firm. Jihoon does the same, spinning his staff and rolling his shoulders.

“Who were those pilots called to make the drop?” you ask, conversational. 

“Dino and Wylie.” 

“Good pilots?” 

He takes his stance. “Excellent. They’re terrors. It won’t be a problem for them. Are you right handed or left handed?”

“Ambidextrous.”

“Good.” 

You don’t know why, but his assessing gaze bothers you suddenly. Like you know that even though you know you’re an excellent fighter, it still won’t be enough for him. The thought that you’ve lost before you even begun pricks a nerve and you strike first. 

It’s immediately obvious why you’re compatible. Jihoon knows your next move before you know what it is. You feel him move like an instinct, imagining his attack and defense before it happens. It isn’t a fight, but a dialogue, two skilled fighters communicating in a pattern only familiar to them. 

Sweat slicks the back of your neck and back. You barely register it, losing yourself in the rhythm of Jihoon’s movements. The sound of the training gym fades to the background and you barely hear the crack of your staffs as they meet over and over again. You hardly see him, vision fading to a narrow point of instinct.

This is how you fight. Muscle memory, driven by intuition.

Your intuition tells you that you’re perfectly matched, fighting style so similar that it’s hard to get a hit in - you won’t get a hit in, too in sync with him to out maneuver him. 

So you deviate. 

Instead of dodging a smack to the ribs, you let him hit you. His surprise is so apparent that he breaks his concentration and you strike, foot sweeping behind his ankle and pulling, knocking him from his feet. Jihoon goes down hard, breath leaving his lungs as you pounce, pinning him.

For a second, it’s just the two of you. His heart pounds, chest heaving in time with yours. Even your breaths are evenly matched, a tempo that is deeper than most human understanding. Drift compatible. You feel it the same way you feel the spark of his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. You’re so aware of it that you don’t hear what he says at first, his mouth moving but no sounds coming out.

“What?” 

“That doesn’t count,” he asserts. “I hit you first. The fight is over after that.”

You frown. “The fight doesn’t end until there’s a killing blow. A swipe to the ribs wouldn’t do it.”

“That isn’t how that works.” 

“There are no rules of engagement in the ocean.” 

He scowls. “There are basic principles to fighting. You lose when you get hit first.”

“Do you lose when a kaiju hits you first? Or do you keep fighting?” 

Jihoon huffs underneath you, shaking his head. You’ve still got him pinned, your palm pressed to his chest and your knee planted in his stomach. He glances away from you and you become aware that everyone has stopped to watch the two of you spar.

And you’re still on top of him. 

Clearing your throat, you climb off of him smoothly. You offer a hand to help him up but he doesn’t take it, getting up on his own. He’s flushed, cheeks tinged peak and mouth twisted in frustration. You watch him as he gives the room around you a cutting glance, making everyone immediately turn back to what they were doing. 

Jihoon puts his staff back and you watch him. He looks minorly irritated on the surface, but you can see it rippling deeper than that. He’s unsettled and it makes you grin. 

“This won’t work,” Jihoon says as he turns back to you, crossing his arms over his chest. You ignore the way his biceps flex and blink at him in confusion. “You can’t be my partner.”

“What? We’re compatible. That was one of the best fighting flows I’ve ever had.”

“We’re too different in principle.” 

That gets a frown from you. “I don’t think so at all. You let your instinct guide you. So do I.” 

“You deviate.” 

“I let the natural dialogue of the fight lead me.”

You let silence fall between you. You can see why so many other pilots had issues with him. Jihoon approaches every statement as though it is the absolute truth, a fact that cannot be disproven. He speaks with the authority of someone who knows he’s right often, and frequently goes unchallenged.

Instead of letting him get a rise out of you, you switch topics. “Are you hungry?”

He pauses. “What?” 

“What part of the question didn’t you understand? Are you hungry?”

Jihoon is perplexed. You’re sure that by now, mostly people have visibly grown upset with the combative dialogue. You don’t mind much, watching as he thinks on your question. You take the opportunity to appreciate the gentle slope of his nose up close, the delicate curve of his mouth, the contrast of feminine and masculine features that make an exquisite face. 

Then Jihoon unfolds his arms and walks past you. You turn to follow him but he says over his shoulder, “I don’t want to have lunch with you. We’re not friends.” 

There’s no room for argument in the way that he says it. You watch him as he leaves, never once turning back. 

-

You are vexing. 

There isn’t another word to describe you. Jihoon hasn’t the slightest idea how you’ve managed to so thoroughly irritate him at your first encounter, but he can’t stop thinking about how frustrated he is when he slams his tray down on the table. 

It’s a little early for lunch, mostly engineers and staff going on shift soon filling the room to eat quickly. The giant clock above the entryway to the cafeteria resets and Jihoon relaxes a little, confirming that Chan and Wylie are fine. He knew they would be - a Category Two kaiju is nothing for a pair like them.

Jihoon finds himself thinking of you. Of what you must be able to do in a jaeger.

Curious, Jihoon looks up your name. It rings a bell - you were pretty renowned at your homebase. Clicking through videos, he sets his phone on the table as he eats, eyes glued to the screen. Your drops are easily accessible to him, clicking through them as he eats. 

There is something hypnotizing the way you and your old co-pilot Maya Veliz fight. You’re efficient and without flashy moves, which he can appreciate. But there’s a speed at which you make decisions and take risks that has him shaking his head. 

Yet, there is something vaguely familiar. He pauses his meal to watch closer, realizing what it is. There is a brutality to your fighting that he recognizes in himself, a need to kill. You fight to win, willing to take a little damage if it means you can deal the final blow.

The thought unsettles him. Your fighting style is so similar to his that he would be lying if he tried to say otherwise. There is logic and calculation to your moves, but then there’s always that deviation. That random blip in your pattern that is unexpected and dangerous. 

“Will watching my drop footage make you like me more?”

Your voice startles him. He drops his fork and it clatters against the table, loud in the soft din of the cafeteria. You’re leaning over him, a smirk on your face and a devilish glint dancing in your eyes as you look at his phone screen where you successfully put down a kaiju. 

“Deathclaw wasn’t very impressive. It was pretty small. My mom and I took out Umbraxis my first year, though.”

Jihoon snatches his phone and locks the screen, putting it face down. He scowls down, feeling his heart flip a little. Your scent drifts over to him at your proximity, a mix of amber and jasmine. It’s already familiar to him, having caught the scent when you pinned him down earlier, hand pressed to his heart-

You sit across from him and he looks up at you. His mind goes blank, staring as you unwrap your silverware picking up a fork to stab a piece of chicken and pop it into your mouth. You hum happily, totally unaware - or maybe unbothered - at his increasing irritation. 

“Tell me about your jaeger,” you demand - not ask. Your eyes find his, two pools of curiosity that have his tongue heavy, words sticky. “I want to know all about her.”

“You’re not going to make the drop with me.”

The curve of your mouth is wicked. “Tell me anyway.”

For a few minutes, Jihoon doesn’t answer. He waits to see if the silence will push you away or make you anxious. It doesn’t seem to. You keep eating without saying anything else, occasionally glancing at him with a cocked brow as if to suggest you have all the time in the world. 

“She was re-outfitted two years ago,” Jihoon says slowly. He doesn’t know why he’s answering you at all, but he continues, “Mark-5 now with the new outfitted tech - she’s still nuclear-driven to avoid any EMP attacks. Outfitted with GD6 steel-obsidian chain swords on each arm, but there are also smaller, detachable blades for hand-to-hand fighting, along with some projectiles. She’s also got a lightning strike powered by the nuclear-core but it can only be used once, and only as a last resort. It obliterates local wildlife in the water.”

“What’s the suspension look like?”

“Gyro-stabilizers to stay fluid when fighting and L-10 locks on all of the joints to strap in and withstand damage. She’s built to take a lot of blunt-force and melee attacks, but she’s top heavy if she loses footing.”

“Have you only been in Storm Breaker?”

He nods. “Since my first drop.”

“She’s beautifully built.” 

Jihoon doesn’t respond. It does bring him a small sense of pride to know that you admire the jaeger he fights in, but he doesn’t thank you. He suspects you notice but doesn't say anything, which surprises him. You seem like the stubborn type who doesn't like to back down from a fight, and yet multiple times this morning you’ve conceded to him, refusing to get upset. 

It bothers him. He can’t tell if it’s because you’re a people pleaser or if you think you're gentle-parenting him, and he doesn’t like it either way. 

So he doesn’t talk to you. He lets the conversation die there, despite sensing your amusement from across the table. He feels the grip on his fork increase, metal biting into his palms as he tries to ignore you. He can smell the jasmine and amber of your perfume, which makes him feel more insane, and he can’t help but steal glances at you and dart his eyes away.

You’re pretty. He’s had attractive co-pilots before. That’s not new, nor has it ever bothered him. Something about you draws the eye, though. He thinks it’s the aura of confidence you give off, effortlessly comfortable in your skin and your situation, despite Jihoon not making it any easier on you.

“Hi,” The raspy voice interrupts Jihoon’s thoughts and he looks up as Wylie slams her tray down on the table. She’s sweaty, freshly peeled from her Drivesuite and offering a hand to you as she gives her full name. “You can call me Wylie, though. Everyone does. Are you Woozi’s new co-pilot?”

“Yes,” you answer at the same time Jihoon says no. “Though I didn’t know that was the name he preferred.” 

Wylie shoots him a sly grin and sits down next to him. He curses and scoots over, the younger girl nearly on top of him as she leans her elbows on the table. “He doesn’t prefer it, which is why it stuck. He's a very cranky cat, but he’s nice once you get to know him.” 

Jihoon scowls, turning to her. “Did I invite you to sit down with us?”

“No.” 

That’s it. That’s the end of her statement. Jihoon watches as she settles happily, opening chocolate milk and chugging it back like it’s water. Jihoon cringes and readies to lob an insult her way when he’s interrupted again, another tray slamming down next to hers. 

Closing his eyes, Jihoon summons all the gods he doesn’t believe in to give him the god damn patience. Chan is wearing a shit-eating grin as he leans across the table, offering his hand in the same, chipper manner his partner had moments before. 

“I’m Chan. But you can call me Dino.”

“Why Dino?” 

“I step on everyone.” 

You raise your brows, amused, eyes flickering to Wylie. Sensing your question, Wylie says around a mouthful of mac and cheese, “Like Wylie Coyote because I’m a menace who doesn’t stop attacking.” 

“How was your drop?” 

“Easy,” they say in unison. 

Jihoon focuses on his plate, feeling grouchy. They start to talk like he’s not even there, and though that is typically how conversations go around him, he’s suddenly bothered by it. Especially when you seem so smug that at least someone likes you. 

He wants to tell you they don’t count. Chan is one of the nicest people in the Shatterdome and will talk to anyone, if they give him the time of day. Wylie isn’t exactly nice but she’s in love with Chan and is happy to be nice to anyone who is being nice to him. The pair are relatively easy to win over. 

It only gets worse for him when Soonyoung and the others start sitting down. Everyone seems eager to ask you questions, a new shiny toy for his friends to play with. He chews on the corner of his lip, feeling stormy in the corner of the table as Seokmin peppers you with questions and exclamations at your answers. 

A shift in tension makes Jihoon look up. Seungcheol sits down at the table slowly, as though trying not to be a distraction or catch any attention. He’s three seats away from Wylie and out of her eyeshot, but Wylie is a born predator, sensing him like a hunter. Her eyes cut over to Seungcheol and she bristles, shooting up to her feet to grab her tray and storm off. 

Chan sighs, muttering a brief apology before grabbing his things and going after her. Jihoon glances at Seungcheol, watching the way his jaw ticks at the interaction. Surprisingly, you don’t ask any questions. You lean over to Soonyoung and ask him about some of their earlier fights, shifting the energy at the table from tense to light in a second.

Seungcheol relaxes, and though he doesn’t introduce himself, he’s not unkind to you. Jihoon feels a pang for the pilot, knowing that the last year has been difficult for him. Cherry left Seungcheol adrift without a partner, and he’s been unable to find someone to replace her. 

He thinks about offering you to Seungcheol as an alternative. 

Jihoon does learn a little bit about you while listening to everyone talk, though. You've only had two co-pilots in your life where Jihoon has lost count. He wonders what growing up piloting with a parent feels like, and though you smile as you talk about growing up working with your mom, there’s a tightness to your mouth, a look in your eye that he can’t place.

Feeling his gaze, your eyes shift to him. Jihoon realizes he’s been staring at you. He stands and leaves the table abruptly, Seokmin’s voice apologizing on his behalf drifting after him. 

Thankfully, you don’t follow him. He dumps his tray and leaves it in the discarded pile for the cafeteria staff and immediately begins the climb to the command bridge where the Marshall’s office is. His thoughts race but go nowhere at the same time, an echochamber that he can’t untangle. 

Before Jihoon can knock on the entrance to the Marshall’s office, the military commander looks up and waves Jihoon in. “I was about to call for you. Shut the door, please.”

Jihoon does so without comment and sits down. He glances around the office, distracting himself as the Marshall finishes what he was working on. The office is orderly and tidy, every ounce the professional and uptight officer that sits in front of Jihoon, leaning back in the seat to sigh heavily and level Jihoon with a stare. 

Before Jihoon can open his mouth to list all of the reasons you shouldn’t be his pilot, the Marshall speaks. “You’re on probation.” 

“I - what?” 

“For the next three months, if you lose your co-pilot, you will be reassigned to administrative work or to a new Shatterdome.”

Jihoon opens his mouth. Closes it. The weight of the Marshall’s words don’t quite sink in, though Jihoon can tell they’re heavy. Real. “We’ve given you plenty of chances to effectively remain a pilot for Storm Breaker, but the board feels as though the trade off has become an issue.”

“The trade off?”

“You’re costing us money. And cadets. People want to train where they can potentially see themselves become a pilot. When we have open spots and jaegers coming up on retirement, it bolsters recruitment.” The Marshall levels him with a tired stare. “But when we have a pilot who no one can partner with, it puts us in a bind to send cadets where they will fit elsewhere.” 

“Look - “

“No you look, Lee. You’ve been a pilot here for six years. That’s considered a veteran in this field. But the higher ups grow tired of even veterans when they’ve been unmanageable for the last two of those six years.”

Heat flashes up the side of Jihoon’s neck, equal parts embarrassed and angry. He’d been the first in his class to suit up, selected as Haneul’s co-pilot to fill in for their partner that had retired. Jihoon remembers how proud - and nervous - he was and how easy it had been to partner with Haneul.

He didn’t have that anymore, the safety net of the only parental figure he’d ever known gone. 

“The pilots you’ve paired me with have no business being in a jaeger,” Jihoon says matter of factly. “I don’t respect them.”

“Well good thing we’ve given you someone to respect.”

Jihoon shakes his head. “I can’t fight with her.”

“You can and you will. Your drift compatibility is 98% and you have similar fighting style and come from similar machines. You’ll start Conn-pod training tomorrow.”

“Don’t make me partner with her. I don’t like her.”

The Marshall stands. “One day you might learn that if you give people a chance, you’d like what you find.” 

“Marshall-” 

“That’s all, Ranger.” 

The air feels heavy as Jihoon leaves the Marshall’s office. He stops on the command deck, his eyes flickering over to the windows. The glass is floor to ceiling all the way around, giving the tower a 360-degree view of the pacific ocean. Blue stretches out as far as the eye can see, backdropped by the shining silver of the city. 

Boats bob on the water, shifting back and forth on the dark surface. Air teams go back and forth, working in the aftermath of Chan and Wylie’s successful kaiju destruction. Jihoon can see the toxicity on the surface of the water, an oil slick that he knows the exact pungent smell of. 

Trailing to an observation window, he stares with unseeing eyes. How many times had he stood up here and provided commentary to his friends during a fight? He didn’t frequent the command deck, but sometimes it gave him perspective. Or he was a little worried about his friends, especially when they were taking on higher category kaiju. 

Jihoon chews on the side of his lip. He’s talked Wylie and Chan through plenty of bouts before. He remembers sharply the terror of the fight that had changed all of their lives over a year ago, watching as the hull of Fang Striker was breached, the screams of terror as Wylie took a talon to the stomach, nearly killing her. The aftermath of Chan’s grief.

A chill breaks out over his arms. Jihoon knows he isn’t cut out to sit through something like that again, to try and get a panicking pilot to focus and get to safety. He’s not made for an advisory role. Not built to watch pilots come and go, completely operating out of his control. 

Death is easier to process in the heat of battle. It gives him an excuse to be distracted, to hide from the immediate pain of losing a pilot during a fight because he’s too busy protecting himself, protecting the city. He’s not made to watch it from afar and take the full weight of it.

Turning away from the window, Jihoon descends back down to the ground floor. 

Probation period. Three months of having to stomach you or he’s out. Flexing his fingers, he heads to his room, needing the silence. If Jihoon is going to do this, he knows he needs to keep himself in line. Can’t push you away like he has the others. 

And he hates you for it.

-

Music bleeds through the metal door out into the hall. You wonder how any of the neighboring rooms let him get away with it. Then again, Lee Jihoon seems like someone most jaeger pilots don’t go toe-to-toe with often, if they can help it. At least it’s classical music, the swelling sound of Mozart sweeping into the hallway as you open the door, propping it with your hip to haul the box in your arms through. 

Jihoon’s eyes snap open immediately. He’s lounging on the bottom bunk of the bed in the far corner of the room, face lit by the glow of the muted screen in the corner showing the rain and ocean spray beating against the Shatterdome. Nothing disturbs the seas at the moment, though you wonder in a hotspot like this how long that will last. 

A scowl twists his mouth. You let the door shut behind you, setting the box down on the media table by the doorway. “Mozart?” you ask, arching a brow. He glares at you, sitting up from where he had been lounging with his hands tucked behind his head. “A bit cliche, don’t you think?” 

“What do you know about music?”

“Enough to know that someone with balanced compositions that orchestrate total control and logic in its make is… not surprising for you.” He blinks in surprise. “I like Tchaikovsky. There’s something more mercurial to his compositions.” 

“Tchaikovsky was inspired by Mozart.”

“I didn’t say one was better than the other.” You smirk. “You don’t like differences of opinion, do you?”

“I always value opinions. Some more than others.”

“Mhmm. Where can I put my things?”

Jihoon closes his eyes and lays back on the bed. His blonde hair is undone, fanning around him in a silvery-white halo. “The trash chute, preferably.” 

“Wherever I want, got it.” 

He ignores you. You suppress a laugh and move into the room proper. It’s small, filled with only the essentials to house two people to eat, sleep, and shower. A small kitchenette sits to your left, hidden in darkness with all of the lights off. You spot a shelf filled with dry goods - mostly protein bars - and coffee. There is a sad excuse for a sitting area with a tiny table and two chairs next to the TV screen, a bunk bed with a wardrobe next to it, and a tiny bathroom.

Cozy. 

Pulling open the wardrobe, you see that there’s room for your things. You shoot Jihoon a sidelong glance. He certainly hadn’t moved his things over to take over the full wardrobe after his last pilot left. You wonder if he’s just used to being unable to use the full space or if he had made room for you.

You doubt it’s the latter. 

Ave Verum Corpus plays in the background as you unpack the tiny box that is your life. You hum along, shutting the wardrobe and padding over to the bathroom. Jihoon could be asleep for all you know, but you suspect he’s not. When you glance over at him after shutting the medicine cabinet, you see his foot tapping to the beat of the music.

“What other kind of music do you like?” His foot stops tapping at your question.

Turning off the bathroom light, you move to the door to break down the cardboard box you brought your things in. Jihoon doesn’t answer at first, his frame rigid with tension, as though he had forgotten you were there until you spoke. You suppose that’s entirely possible, if not a little unlikely. 

Just when you think he’s not going to answer, he mutters, “I like ballads.”

“Romantic.” He frowns but doesn’t say anything further. “What’s your favorite one? Or artist?”

“Go play twenty questions with someone else. I’m not interested.”

“I’m going to find out anyway.” He opens his eyes then. They’re dark, pupils blown as his face twitches in an almost snarl. “It is an inevitable fact that we will have to drift. I recommend making peace with that now.” 

“I’m going to bed,” he announces, flopping over on his side and crossing his arms.

You let Jihoon be mean. It does you no good to fight with him when you eventually need him on your side, and you can sympathize with him to a degree. He didn’t choose you as his pilot and he’s backed into a corner, a do or die situation that he can’t back out of. The only way is forward and it’s against his will. 

As he pretends to sleep, you occupy yourself on the top bunk with your tablet, sliding headphones over your ears so he doesn’t bitch you out. Flicking through online channels, you familiarize yourself with your fellow jaeger pilots at the Shatterdome, watching fight footage and interviews. 

You come across a set of popular pilots, only one of them familiar to you. You recognize the man from dinner earlier - he had sat down and the tension around the table had increased tenfold. Wylie had immediately clocked his presence and stormed off, Chan trailing behind her with an apologetic look.

Tapping on their information, you hum in interest to yourself. Seungcheol. You recognize the name, vaguely. He piloted Duellona Fury with his copilot, a woman you don’t recognize but that has a bright smile. They make a good team, totally in sync and feeding off each other’s energy. You wonder where she is now, assuming she’s the source of the tension between Wylie and Seungcheol.

You wonder what you and Jihoon will be like as drift partners. So far he seems to hate you, but he does tolerate you. It’s a start, if not ideal. You won’t start drifting right away - not for real anyway. Practicing combat drills and learning more about one another is the first step to any partnership, followed by practice drifts.

In the drift, there’s no room for hatred or enmity. Trust is paramount, but almost as important is respect. Respect for what you see in the thoughts and feelings of your partner, respect that they’re good at what they do and that they’re the best person for the job, respect that they are your equal. Too many partners get lost in trying to save the other, losing sight of being equally capable or feeling like they know better. 

Jihoon doesn’t seem capable of that. Not right now, anyway. It doesn’t matter, though. You’re his only option to stay in the jaeger program, and though he hasn’t said anything about it, you’re pretty sure he knows. 

“Can you shut the tablet off?” Jihoon grunts from below. You sigh heavily, tucking it to your chest. “The glow is fucking bright.”

“The TV is also glowing, Jihoon.” 

“Yeah, so your tablet adds to the general light in the room.”

“Close your eyes.”

“It isn’t helping. Go under your covers.”

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in, you lock the tablet and shove it under your pillow. “Better?”

“Yes.”

Weather the storm, you think to yourself. Jihoon is angry and capricious, but it’s more to do with his situation than it is to do with you. And despite his snappy nature, there are flashes of him willing to work with you by answering questions, albeit with attitude. 

You can do this. You can make Lee Jihoon like you. Maybe even respect you.

-

You are not a morning person. Lee Jihoon, however, is a morning person. Which is why it takes everything inside of you not to launch your pillow at him when you hear the classical music wake you from sleep in the morning, making you lift your heavy head to look around the room, vision blurry.

Heat from a fresh shower drifts from the bathroom only a short distance away. You stare in confusion, blinking rapidly as Jihoon walks out of the bathroom. He’s brushing his teeth furiously with one hand, looking at his phone with the other, blue light making him look like a phantom in the dim light. 

And he’s dressed in nothing but a towel slung low on his waist, making you nearly go catatonic. 

It’s not like you haven’t seen a body before - it’s just a body, and soon enough, you’ll be in his head. It’s important to get any weirdness out of the way because in the drift, you’ll bare everything. But for some reason the image of his small, compact body scrambles your brain this early in the morning.

Jihoon is built like a weapon, all sleek lines and hard muscles. He stands in the kitchen, setting down his phone as he opens cabinets and starts to make coffee, toothbrush still in his mouth. The muscles in his back flex as he moves, skin pale and smooth as the moon. 

“Are you a coffee person?” he asks, because he knows you’re awake. Of course he does. You don’t answer for a moment, stuck between eyeing the narrow taper of his hips and the question that implies he’s willing to make you coffee. He turns, arching a brow at you. “Now you shut up?” 

That brings a scowl to your face. “Yes, I drink coffee.” 

“Great.” 

He goes back to what he was doing, ignoring you entirely. Dragging your eyes away from him, feeling flushed and overwarm, you throw the covers back, scrambling from the top bunk. You land with a soft huff, feeling the chill of the concrete floor as you dart to the wardrobe to pull out clothes. 

“What time is it?”

“You have eyes, look at the TV.”

Got it, you think. He’ll make coffee for you but not do something as simple as answer what time it is. You do look at the TV, seeing the darkened feed of the churning ocean breaking against the walls of the Shatterdome. There are multiple camera angles, weather radar and Dome messages that break up the screen into sections. The time is in the top corner, flashing 5:13 am. 

“Ji, it is five in the morning.”

“Five-thirteen. And don’t call me Ji. I’m not your buddy.” 

Taking a deep breath, you mutter curses under your breath. “I’m going to shower.”

As expected, you get no response. 

The great thing about living in a billion dollar buildinding with hundreds of people is that there’s no shortage of hot water. You’re grateful as the steam fills the room, hot water making your coiled muscles melt the second you step under the shower. You let the frustration from the morning fade away, the rush of the water and the feel of it sluicing down your back-

A loud knock on the door breaks your reverie. You hear it open. Jihoon grunts, “I wasn’t done brushing my teeth. I need the sink.”

“Then use the sink.”

Jihoon shuffles into the bathroom. You hear the faucet turn on and you go back to tilting your head backward under the stream of water, ignoring the sound of him going about his morning routine. In a way, it’s sort of peaceful, the sounds of him softly opening and closing cabinets and the clinking of jars against the counter soft in the background. 

He’s back in the kitchen by the time you’re out of the shower and wrapped in a towel. You venture out into the main room in kind, deciding that if he is going to walk around in nothing but a towel, so will you. He barely gives you a glance from his bottom bunk, lounging around in low-slung sweats with no shirt, blonde hair splayed on his pillow. You ignore him in favor of the lone mug of coffee sitting in the kitchen steaming.

Gripping it and bringing it up, you let the ceramic warm you from your palms upward, inhaling before taking a tentative sip. It’s bitter but it helps you wake up. You glance at Jihoon from over the lip of the cup. He scrolls on a tablet mindlessly, as though he’s forgotten you’re there.

Neither one of you speaks as you finish your coffee. Turning to the sink, you start washing the cup out. You notice his used mug sitting in the bottom of the sink and pick it up, wash it and put it in the drying rack next to yours without thinking about it before returning to the bathroom to dress fully.

Once dressed and out of the bathroom, it’s almost six. Jihoon is bent over by the door, his boot on the coffee table as he laces it. Now fully dressed, his long hair is pulled back in a bun, a few silver whisps escaping and falling across his face. Again, you’re struck by how beautiful he is for a moment. 

He straightens and looks at you, raising his brows. Instead of answering him, you hurry to the wardrobe, pulling out your boots to slide them on and head to breakfast. You half expect him to leave you behind, but to your surprise, he lingers with the door open, dark eyes clocking your every movement. As soon as you’re done tying laces, he’s out the door and charging again, leaving you to scramble behind him.

Silence follows you into the cafeteria, which has the quiet atmosphere of an early morning. Workers and pilots ending their shifts sit at the table, scarfing down breakfast for dinner. Early shift workers hurry to grab a bite before heading off to the different parts of the Shatterdome. It’s not nearly as loud as lunch or dinner, but the soft din is inviting as you go through the line, following your new co-pilot wordlessly. 

None of the friendly faces from yesterday are in the cafeteria, so the two of you sit alone. Jihoon is methodical as he sets up his breakfast, each move calculated and precise. He eats the same way, finishing something entirely before moving on to the next time. 

His obsession with organization and control is almost fascinating, if not a little worrying. Instead of asking about it, you eat in silence, humming delightedly at the cheesy hashbrowns made available that morning. He casts you a single annoyed glance when he notices you enjoying your meal. 

Breakfast goes without a fight, though. Glancing at the large clock above the entrance to the cafeteria, you realize you only have a few minutes left before your day of training starts. Jihoon seems to be on the same wavelength, pulling out his phone to scroll through your schedule. 

“Meditation first,” he murmurs. He shoves his phone in his pocket and stands without preamble. “Do you think you can manage meditation?”

“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but we haven’t spoken for over an hour.”

Confusion crosses his face, quickly followed by astonishment. He hadn’t realized that most of your morning has been spent in silence. His brows pull together, mouth turning slightly as he works over your words. It seems to make him unhappy. He narrows his eyes and his mouth twists before he turns and marches away from the table, leaving you behind. 

Mouth quirking, you follow quickly, not wanting to lose your way to wherever it is you’re supposed to report to. He walks faster this time, determined to keep you moving and on your toes. Wherever the studio designated to you for the morning feels like it’s halfway around the world. Jihoon leads you down a series of halls and stairs, never slowing his pace once.

By the time you get to a small, soundproof room, your calves are burning. 

“You need conditioning,” he mutters, noticing the way you’re a little out of breath.

“You basically just took me on a light jog,” you protest. “I think it’s fair to be a little winded this early in the morning.”

“It doesn’t matter what time it is. What will you do if we make the drop at four in the morning?” 

Jihoon doesn’t wait for you to answer. Instead, he goes to the middle of the room and sits down on the floor, and crosses his legs. Instead of taking his bait and picking a fight with him, you sigh and stride into the room. He positions himself, ready for you to sit in front of him. Instead, you circle around him, sitting down behind him. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, twisting toward you.

“Meditating. Turn back around so we can be back-to-back.”

“What? Why?”

“Just trust me.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, try. It’s easier to feel your breaths and your heartbeat this way. Plus, there's less pressure if you don’t have to look directly at me.”

“Thank god for that,” he mutters.

You roll your eyes at the barb but grin when Jihoon listens, twisting back around to face the front. He lets you settle against him, the warmth from his back melting into yours. He is rigid, his spine solid as it digs into yours for a second. You lick your lips, feeling electricity shiver down you at the contact, like there’s a spark. 

The hum of the air condition is the only sound in the room. You close your eyes, leaning into Jihoon so that you fit flush together. You match your breaths with his, feeling your breathing slow down. Your heart slows to, like it’s trying to let him catch up, both of you melting into the same rhythm. 

Behind you, Jihoon relaxes. The back of his head rests against yours, both of you leaning into the touch, becoming the equal opposing force holding the other up. 

Balance is imperative in co-pilots. Jihoon needed to bring to the fight what you lacked and vice versa, the two of you making something whole, something complete. It’s a balance that’s not easily achieved, and though you’d always been a good pair with your mother and then maya, you know instinctively that it’s nothing compared to Jihoon’s counterbalance. 

A timer goes off in the room, startling you with how quickly time has passed. You blink your eyes rapidly, letting the room swim back into focus. For a second, neither one of you moves, content to lean against the other until Jihoon seems to realize he’s still pressed against you. He scrambles to his feet unexpectedly and you fall backward, losing his counterweight immediately. 

Thunking against the floor, you glare up at him. He smirks, looking down at you as he wipes dust from the back of his pants. “You should never let a co-pilot fall,” you huff, hauling yourself to your feet. 

“Good thing we’re not really co-pilots.”

“Yet,” you supply. You get up, stretching and feeling your joints pop. “Even you can’t deny that it was a great first meditation session.”

“Let’s go. We have sparring.” 

-

Jihoon doesn’t like you. 

He doesn’t like you, but he has to admit you are a perfect fit for him. You are loud where he is quiet, you make light when he remains serious, and you deviate when he’s planned. Yet somehow, you manage to mesh with him in your training, the perfect opposite force to him.

For the most part, you leave him alone. He can tell you’ve figured out when to bite back and when to eat your words. It’s become a game to him, throwing insults your way to watch whether you’ll riposte back or swallow your pride. 

The amount of times you swallow your pride impresses him, unfortunately. His original assessment that you are unpredictable and uncontrolled was wrong. He can see the way you actively meet his cold winter with warm summer, trying to melt him. 

He doesn't like giving you credit for your control, but he does so begrudgingly. 

Worst of all, he realizes that it’s not you he dislikes. It’s his situation, it’s knowing that you’re his lifeline and he has to accept you, and it’s knowing that despite his initial dislike, you’re a mirror that he can’t look away from. It doesn’t help that you live two feet away from him at all times, occupying every moment of his life just a reach-of-a-hand away. 

Training is tiring. It feels like he’s a rookie all over again, going through the exercises as the two of you learn to fight together, moving through meditation sessions, sparring, talking sessions - which don't really involve a lot of talking on his part as much as yours - and drop simulations. 

Drop simulations are the most exhausting for him. You bring everything to the drift. It’s nearly overwhelming at first how much you’re willing to show him. From the moment the mental bridge connects the two of you through the simulation software, Jihoon is shocked at the way you lay yourself bare. You hide nothing from him, letting him roam around your thoughts at his leisure. 

He feels everything you’ve ever felt. Elation when you make your first real drop with your first co-pilot, your mom. Sore ribs after a particularly difficult sparring match when you were a teeager in the training program. Pride when you finish the top of your training program. Terror when a fight goes awry and your mother overwhelms you in the drift, taking the full neural load of the jaeger to protect you. Rage at her doing so. 

“What happened here?” he finds himself asking, sticking near the memory. 

He thinks you won’t answer him, but of course you do. Unlike him, you’re open for the taking. “The hull was breached in my first year of fighting. My mother panicked because it was on my side of the jaeger and she tried to take on the neural load.” 

Jihoon says nothing. Piloting a jaeger alone overwhelms the nervous system and the brain, which is why each jaeger has two pilots in the first place. It can be done, but the risk for damage is always present. He senses where your conversation is going.

“We only piloted together for three more years after that. She was starting to struggle to make the drift, so we paused to get her examined. They discovered lesions on her brain and linked it to the damage from that day she tried to pilot alone.”

“She wanted to protect you.”

“She did, but it doesn’t make up for what she did. I was her equal, not someone she was supposed to protect.” You look at him and he looks at you, surrounded by your memories in the drift. “I am deserving of treated like an equal.” 

He understands what you’re really saying, that he should treat you like an equal too. Instead of responding, he busies himself with studying other parts of you that you let him have. 

There is a melody to your mind that he enjoys, though he’ll never tell you so. The more you drift together, the more Jihoon realizes that you are exactly like a Tchaikovsky piece. There is an organized chaos to you, a mathematical formula that is logical and measurable, but that deviates from the norm once in a while. 

Every drift, you remain open to him, your thoughts for the taking. You don’t even hide the moments you’ve thought of him - both in occasional attraction and irritation. Irritation at him bringing nothing to drift, opening no part of himself to you. Irritation when he’s mean to you. Hesitant fondness when he does something nice. Confused attraction when he walks around in just a towel. 

Water sluices down his back. Jihoon’s thoughts are still foggy from three weeks of nothing but practice and drills. He also finds it harder to sleep sometimes in the room, his dreams filled with the scent of your amber and jasmine and the lively sound of Tchaikovsky acting as the soundtrack to his dreams.

You’re still asleep when he exits the bathroom. He’s made sure to turn the light off before opening the door, steam billowing out after him. He scoops headphones from the nightstand as he heads to the kitchen, towel snug around his waist. He pops the earbuds in, the sound of Mozart starting his morning as he begins to make coffee. 

Jihoon has quickly learned that the longer he lets you sleep in the morning, the less whiny you are when you wake up. Instead of playing his music out loud, he lets you sleep until he’s made two cups of coffee, adding a spoonful of brown sugar and milk to yours. He sets it on the table and walks back to the bathroom, one of the requiem pieces carrying him through his routine. 

On the way to the bathroom, he stops by your bunk. He hesitates for a second, drinking you in as you sleep. Nestled in that top bunk is the only place you’re as peaceful as you are in the drift. Your features are smoothed out as you slumber, mouth open a little, drool sticky on the corner of your mouth. Jihoon’s lips twitch a little and he shakes his head before reaching out to tap the ankle hanging off your bed. You mumble in response. 

“Get up,” he says gruffly. “You’ve slept long enough.”

He returns to the bathroom and shuts the door to get fully dressed. He knows you’ll be standing in the kitchen looking dazed and confused sipping coffee until he comes out and frees the bathroom for you to shower. 

The alarm for a kaiju alert goes off. He hears it blaring over his music and he pulls the earbuds out, opening the door half dressed in just pants as he looks at the screen flashing red. A Category Four kaiju has been sighted in the bay. His heart skips, knowing that Cat-4 kaiju are dangerous even for the most skilled pilots at the Dome. 

Assignments flash across the screen. Solar Saber and Fang Striker have been summoned to drop. Nervousness flutters in Jihoon’s stomach. He snatches a shirt and yanks it over his head, moving quickly around the room to grab boots. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, leaning off the counter. 

“Heading to the command deck. Come or don’t.”

“I’ll come.” 

You dump your coffee in the sink, jumping to action as you peel off your pajama pants, searching for cargos. Jihoon hardly realizes you’re changing in front of him - he’s seen it all in your head anyway - as he laces his boots. He doesn’t know why, but he starts to explain himself, “Dino and Wylie have a… history with Cat-4 kaiju.” 

“You want to be an extra set of eyes and ears.” He nods at the accurate assessment. “Got it. Run me through Solar Saber drop stats if you know them.”

Jihoon does. He fires off what he knows about the team. Their stats are fine, but a Category Four kaiju is new for them. They have a good jaeger. It’s on the newer side, nuclear powered with plasma cannons and a massive plasma sword that burns brighter than the sun, earning the machine its name. It’s piloted by a set of twins, which produce some of the best drifts in the jaeger program.

But there’s a nervousness in Jihoon’s stomach that he can’t place. Everytime his friends drop, he knows they’ll be okay - but he also knows the level of danger. Perhaps it’s because of Chan and Wylie’s accident last year or because they’re dropping with a team Jihoon doesn’t trust, but he suddenly wants to tell the Marshall to let Storm Breaker do the drop.

A hand brings him out of his thoughts. Your gaze is as calm as the surface of a lake, piercing. “We’re ready, if we need to be.” 

Of course you know what he’s thinking. Despite his best efforts, you seem particularly good at stitching the tiny threads that escape through Jihoon’s wall of ice.  

You drop your hand and grab the room keys, heading toward the door with top speed. His arm is warm where your fingers were a moment ago, burning like a brand. He shakes it off as he follows you out, both of you jogging up to the top level of the Shatterdome to observe. 

Crew races around the dome. Jihoon sees Seungkwan and Vernon rushing up the stairs to the command deck. He follows suit, you quick on his heels. People fill the room, talking over one another as they shout into headsets and screens flash different camera angles. 

The Marshall stands in the center of it all behind the LOCCENT Mission Controller who will walk the pilots through the fight. Jihoon doesn’t recognize the man giving them instructions, but he joins the wall of people standing behind him to observe the screens, taking a place next to Vernon and Seungkwan. 

You glance at Vernon and back to Jihoon, a question in your gaze. “This is Vernon,” Jihoon says in response. “He’s currently a jumphawk pilot. Could be a jaeger pilot if he could figure out the drift but he’s too screwy up top.” 

“Thanks, man.”

“You can call me Blue,” you offer. Your eyes drift to the screens. “Friends of the pilots out there?”

“Wylie is one of my best friends.” 

Instead of telling him something like they’ll be alright or offering words of comfort, all you do is nod. Jihoon respects that. Anything comforting would be a potential lie and useless in a world of blood and metal, salt and fire. 

The entire room falls into a steady cadence. Jihoon crosses his arms as he focuses on the screen. He’s mutely aware that you’re standing so close to him he can feel the heat of your arm, hands shoved in your pockets as you watch the screens, brows furrowed in concentration. 

On screen, Solar Saber churns the water toward a towering kaiju in the bay. The creature is straight out of a nightmare, a barbed tail whipping across the surface of the ocean, misting water as it does. From what Jihoon can tell, it’s got four legs, each equipped with long talons. Rows and rows of teeth reveal itself as the kaiju opens its mouth and roars, the vibration from the sound so deep that it vibrates underneath his feet. 

“I don’t like that tail,” Vernon mutters next to Jihoon. 

“It’s like a manticore.” Jihoon glances at you. You’re not looking at them, but your head is tilted in curiosity as you point to the screen. “Four legs, a curved tail with a barb. The webbing around its neck suggests it might have a frill.”

“Strike teams, confirm positions,” the LOCCENT controller says into the mic. 

“Fang Striker in position two miles north of kaiju and Solar Saber.” It’s Wylie’s raspy voice that crackles over the shared radiowave with the jaeger teams. “Perimeter is set.”

“Solar Saber ready to engage,” a female voice comes over the speaker. Jihoon recognizes it as one of the twin co-pilots, Jezzi. 

“Permission to engage.” 

As Solar Saber engages with the kaiju, the command deck goes quiet. People guiding the helicopters and ground teams speak softly into their mics, a level of tense calm washing over as everyone watches the fight ensue.

Solar Saber is beautiful to watch fight. The armor is painted radiant gold and the glow of the sword is magnificent against the stormy waters as it slashes at the kaiju. Jezzi and her sister Yaz are calm throughout their bout, their voices clear and communicative as the kaiju batters them. 

“Cut off the tail,” you mutter under your breath. “It’s going to-”

Jihoon sees what you do as soon as you say it. While trying to kill the kaiju with a direct blow, Solar Saber has forgotten about the tail. The tip of the tail shivers, reminding Jihoon of a cat ready to strike, and it does. One moment, Solar Saber and the kaiju are locked in a wrestling match. Next, the tail is hammering the hull of the jaeger, striking over and over again like a scorpion.

Chaos explodes on the screens. Jihoon holds his breath as red flashes across the screens as the tail breaches the hull of Solar Saber. A tingle settles over him, the buzz of nerves as he watches Solar Saber take a knee, ocean water surging around the jaeger as the kaiju’s tail continues to hammer the jaeger’s head open. 

Jihoon grabs the LOCCENT Controller’s chair and yanks him backward out of the way, jamming his finger against the button to speak. “Don’t let it force you under the waterline,” he barks. “Cut off that tail, Solar Saber. If it forces you down, you’re going to take on water and drown.” 

“The right panel is damaged from acid from the tail,” Jezzi yells over the comes. “Sword arm cannot engage.” 

“Then disengage, Solar Saber. Do not let it force you down another knee.” 

Yaz screams back something incomprehensible over the comms. The left arm of Solar Saber lurches, reaching for the kaiju’s tail. It catches, yanking at the appendage hard. The kaiju screams as the tail breaks where Solar Saber has it gripped. The kaiju frenzies, screaming wildly as frills - just like you’d predicted - shake to life by its head, vibrating back and forth in a threat display as its dismembered tail whips back and forth, spraying ichor. 

“Fang Striker engaging,” Chan’s voice comes over the comms.

It’s the Marshall who answers. “Fang Striker, hold the perimeter.” 

“Fuck the peremiter,” Wylie seethes. 

The Marshall turns to you and Jihoon. “We’re ready,” Jihoon says at the same time as you.

A string of curses leaves Marshall’s mouth. “Fang Striker, assist Solar Saber with the intent to disengage. Storm Breaker dropping in ten.” 

Heart hammering, Jihoon turns to follow you out of the command center, footsteps like thunder as you sprint to the jaeger bay. He doesn’t even think twice about dropping with you, any reservations about you vanishing as the fighting instinct takes over. 

You’re an entirely different person when you step onto the catwalk, your team already scrambling with pieces of your Drivesuit. There is an eerie calm about you. You meet his gaze head on as your team fits armored pieces of Drivesuit onto your arms. Jihoon sees himself reflected so clearly that he’s startled. 

“What?” you ask, sensing the bewilderment. 

“Show me what you’re made of,” he says simply. 

Your mouth curves in a wicked grin and you nod once, understanding. 

Storm Breaker is beautiful. The fondness for her sweeps over him as he steps into the cockpit. The screens come to life, casting blue and red glow all over as he steps into the Conn-pod. He sheds any reservations he has as the team helps him connect. You’re only a few feet away, stepping into the left side of the Conn-pod. 

Jihoon’s world shifts to screens and canned voices in his headset as the shield of his helmet closes. It’s Seungkwan he hears over comms saying, “Engaging pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence.” 

“Do the pilots always take over the LOCCENT Controller’s here?” you muse, just to Jihoon. 

His lips twitch. “What can I say? Seungkwan knows I’m a control freak.” 

“Engaging neural handshake in three… two… one…” 

The world around him goes mute for a moment. Jihoon’s vision flashes white for a second. He feels you then, your thoughts and feelings becoming his. They’re not overwhelming though. He feels focus and determination from you with an undercurrent of ferocity. All of your memories and other feelings are there too, but they exist in the background. You’re a seasoned pilot, Jihoon doesn’t have to worry about you chasing the rabbit and falling down a hole of memories. 

“Neural handshake holding and strong,” Seungkwan calls. “Initiating drop in three… two… one…”

Jihoon’s stomach flies into his throat as he falls away from the world. The world is nothing but freefall for a few seconds. He feels the thrill that shoots through you and smiles - he can’t help it. Bending at the knee, he braces for impact. You do the same, and the cockpit lands on the jaeger’s mainframe with a metallic clang.

“Calibrating right hemisphere,” Jihoon announces, feeling the machine start to power to life. “Calibrated.” 

You repeat on the left side, the full machine powered on and ready with both hemispheres locked in.

“Storm Breaker ready to pursue,” Jihoon says. He looks up at the screen where Fang Striker is engaging the kaiju. Outside of Storm Breaker, he might feel his heart race with panic. Solar Saber is overturned and he has no idea if the pilots are inside of it as it takes on water. “Two miles out from contact.” 

“Pursue.” 

Your first step as a team is perfect. Fluid. Jihoon knew it would be. He hates to admit that he was wrong, but he knows it is. There is a thread of satisfaction bleeding over from you as Storm Breaker charges into the ocean, water rising rapidly around the waist. 

Ocean water slams against Storm Breaker’s chest as you charge toward the fighting. Fang Striker’s comms are patched in, but Wylie and Chan are silent as they rip at the kaiju, pulling at one of its wings that it unfolded from its back. Fang Striker looks tiny against the hulking mass of the monster, but its team is doing what it does best, savaging the creature a little at a time.

“Storm Breaker half a mile out,” you announce, voice like steel. “Ready to engage.” 

“Engage at your discretion.”

“Storm Breaker,” Chan says over comms. “Try and restrain this motherfucker. We’ve got a loose plate in its armor to exploit but it keeps shaking us off.”

“Heard.” 

As if hearing Chan, the kaiju flings Fang Striker off. Fang Striker’s red body crashes into the ocean, Wylie cursing the kaiju straight to hell and about fifty other foul places. 

Storm Breaker engages, both you and Jihoon plunging into the fight. The kaiju swipes at you but you both duck together, dodging the swing as you punch hard from the left in tandem. You knock it hard, it’s head snapping to the side. As a team, you use the opening to wrap the right arm around the kaiju’s neck, squeezing it toward Storm Breaker’s chest in a headlock. 

Stabilizers and locks click into place. He grits his teeth, as though feeling the actual strength it takes as the kaiju roars and claws at Storm Breaker, trying to free itself from the headlock. Together, you put the left arm around it, adding to the force to keep the kaiju from slipping from your grip. 

Clawed blows hammer down on Storm Breaker. Neither of you gives way, tightening your grip on the creature and ignoring the way the talons scratch against the hull. Storm Breaker is built to withstand, and neither one of you flinches as furious blows rain down on you, fists hammering. 

“It looks like that kaiju is playing you like a bongo,” Wylie’s voice comes over comms. “Hey Woozi, do you feel like it’s composing one of those songs you like?”

“Oh sure,” he shoots back. “Take your time, Wylie. It’s not like it’s trying to crack us like an egg.” 

“Ugh,” you sigh. “Don’t talk about food. I didn’t eat breakfast. Hey Seungkwan, can you ask Joshua to save me some hash browns? He’s always at the cafeteria first.” 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You’re all insane. Any day now, Fang Striker.” 

Fang Striker appears from the sky like a creature from hell, a red streak of death as it falls. They land on the kaiju’s back, the force of the landing vibrating through Storm Breaker’s frame. The kaiju tries to twist in Storm Breaker’s arms, but you and Jihoon tighten even further. Fang Striker’s sword glints in the sunlight as it unsheathes. 

“Don’t stab us,” you say at the same exact time that Jihoon has the thought.

They almost do. Fang Striker buries the sword through the back of the kaiju, the tip of the blade peaking through its chest, almost scraping against Storm Breaker’s stomach. The monster thrashes wildly for a few minutes, clawing at Storm Breaker’s hull. Fang Striker hits the release on their sword, leaving it embedded in the kaiju’s back to stand and fire into the kaiju with plasma cannons. 

Jihoon feels the tremor of the shots land. There’s a final kick from the kaiju before it slumps, putting all of its deadweight on Storm Breaker. In unison, you and Jihoon throw the creature off of you. It lands with a crash, water surging around the creature as its weight drags it down before buoyancy pulls it back up.

Storm Breaker straightens, standing in the open water with a battered Fang Striker a couple of yards away. Panting, Jihoon looks across the Conn-pod where you’re already looking at him, shield on your helmet up as you grin at him. There is unguarded happiness there, nearly as bright as the sun that glints off Storm Breaker’s helm. 

“So,” you ask the group. “Can we get hashbrowns now?”

Jihoon realizes at that moment he doesn’t dislike you at all. 

-

“Would you slow down?” Jihoon asks, setting his tray down next to you roughly. He plops in the seat next to you, giving you a severe side eye. “You’re going to throw up the second you hit the treadmill eating that fast.”

“I want to get more bacon before they run out,” you whine. “They won’t make more once it’s gone.”

Uncovering the top of his tray, Jihoon reveals a heap of bacon slices. You oggle as he sets it between the two of you, shaking his head and scoffing. “Yeah,” he huffs. “I know. I brought more, so slow down.”

Affection for your co-pilot warms you. The affection is certainly one-sided, but you don’t mind. In the four months you’ve been co-piloting with Jihoon, he still hasn’t opened up to you.

Despite having made the drop five times together, Jihoon still brings almost nothing to the drift. You catch pieces of him, tiny snippets of memories or emotions or thoughts as you become one. You slowly use them to fit together the pieces of the Jihoon puzzle you’ve been working on every day. 

It helps that you live in such close proximity, too. Jihoon’s habits speak far more for them than his words ever could. Like the way he wakes up at the same exact time every day and tries to be asleep at the same time every night, or the way he meticulously cleans your shared living space every Sunday, or the way he starts every sparring session with the same eight-stretch sequence.

He still doesn’t talk about him in your time slotted for getting to know one another. It’s not therapy exactly, but every pilot team has designated time daily to talk things out. To work through things that are bothering them, or to talk about themselves. The more pilots know one another, the better they fight.

You know virtually nothing about Jihoon. He doesn’t talk about himself during sessions, so you talk for him. You tell him about your childhood, about piloting with your mom, about how much you miss Maya. He eventually starts asking questions. Provides responses.

“We’re on the drop schedule tomorrow,” Jihoon notes, flicking through his tablet on the table next to him. “It’s graveyard shift. Do you want me to ask Mingyu and Wonwoo to switch to the day shift?” 

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

He gives you a critical look. “You’re awful in the mornings.” 

“Not when I’m fighting.” You snatch more bacon. “Would you rather me or Mingyu in a jaeger at two in the morning?”

“Point taken.” Both of you know the only person more miserable than you in the morning is Kim Mingyu. Jihoon nudges you with your elbow and gestures to the bacon. “Finish up. We have to workout soon.” 

“Ugh.”

He smirks. “Cardio day.”

“Ji, no.”

He ignores the nickname. “So much running.”

Now you know he’s doing it on purpose. There are few things in your training schedule that bring Jihoon joy like torturing you during scheduled workouts. He had started slating them each day, determined to harden your conditioning despite the fact that you’re already in decent shape.

Decent is a word in his vocabulary. He only expects perfection and even then, you’re pretty sure it’s unattainable. Still, you finish your breakfast and let him lead you to the gym, peppering him with whining and protests the entire way. He ignores them with a placid smile, hands linked behind his back as he walks. 

When you get to the gym, there are other pilots and workers using their free time to exercise. There’s only a single treadmill open, which Jihoon gets on easily. You start to edge your way toward yoga mats with the intention of not working out at all when he leans over to look at the time on the treadmill next to him. 

“You’ve been on it for an hour,” he grunts at some boy who looks like a cadet. “Off you go.”

The cadet scrambles off, almost forgetting to turn the treadmill off before he does. He bows in respect before shooting off like a frightened school of fish. Jihoon turns to you, grinning as he pats the machine. “For you.” 

“Thanks,” you deadpan. “Just what I’ve always wanted.” 

Jihoon’s grin only grows when you step onto the treadmill as he leans over the rail and turns it on, pressing the incline and speed buttons until you’re walking at a warm up pace. Which, for Jihoon, is a solid jog. 

As you jog, you fish out headphones from your pocket. You pop them in your ears, careful not to trip as the sound of classical fills your ears. You’ve taken to using Jihoon’s playlists, despite originally making fun of him for it. You find that it distracts you more than you thought it would, and it helps that you feel like a character in a fantasy movie running to an epic soundtrack.

You’ve adopted a lot of things that Jihoon does. It happens naturally, especially the more you drift. You find yourself putting on Mozart instead of Tchaikovsky or taking your coffee black on accident or scolding others in the training room for not being precise and perfect. 

Ghost Drifting is what some call it. You don’t think you’re quite there yet, being that Jihoon still hides half of himself away. But sometimes, even outside of the drift, you feel him in your mind like a phantom presence. 

After your workout, you go through the same day you have everyday: meditate back to back, sparring, and your talking session, which mostly consists of you both sitting next to one another looking over your drop footage and noting areas for improvement. 

Jihoon’s shoulder is pressed against yours, his eyes focused on the tablet in your hands, tracking the slowed down movement of the video. He taps the screen, pointing to the right side of the jaeger that he pilots. “I was a bit slow here.” 

“It’s not your reaction time, you’d never punch that slow. That’s the arm that took damage two fights ago against Razorbill. Let’s talk to the J-Tech team and see if there’s a delay in the receptor. It might be a split second off.” He snorts and you glance sidelong at him. “What?”

“You don’t think I’d punch slow?”

“No.” 

Jihoon raises his brows. You can feel his surprise at your seriousness to his question. He obviously expected you to turn it into a harmless jab, but you mean it when you say, “Your reaction time has been perfect for the last sixteen drops you’ve made. If there’s a delay, it’s the machinery. Not you.”

He looks away from you, nodding once. The tips of his ears are red and he mutters, “Thanks.” 

Instead of pressing the matter like you want to, you smile and hit play again, both of you focusing on the screen once more to talk through the remainder of your allotted bonding time. 

In your room, Jihoon turns on the speakers, the sound of Pas de Deux from the Nutcracker floods the room. You pause by the wardrobe where you’re shucking your boots off, gazing at Jihoon as he moves into the kitchen silently, taking out two mugs, a box of peppermint tea and a kettle. 

He doesn’t feel your eyes on him, going about making tea for the both of you. He hums along to the song - you don’t know when he became so familiar with it, his movements comfortable. Practiced. Relaxed. A swell of affection overtakes you, realizing you don’t know when he started making you tea. Or putting on Tchaikovsky for you. Or not biting at you every two seconds. 

Sensing your gaze, he turns to look at you over his shoulder. You turn away from him, busying yourself with your boots to spare him from making an excuse as to why he’s making you tea. Because you’ll know he’ll give one, provide you with some sort of excuse that it isn’t a favor or because you’re friends, but rather something like the tea bags are too large for one or I have to boil the water anyway. 

When you’re done changing for bed, he’s standing next to you, mug extended. He doesn’t look at you, instead finding interest in the cameras outside the Shatterdome. You take the mug from him and say nothing, knowing he’d rather you not thank him. 

Mug in hand, you climb carefully into the top bunk, crossing your legs as you nestle the mug next to you, pulling out your tablet to read. He gets into bed without a word, both of you existing in comfortable silence, just like Jihoon prefers. 

-

Alarms wrench you from sleep. You’re thrown forward in your bed, red flashing on the TV as the kaiju alert system wails. You wipe sleep from your face as you haul yourself over the edge of the bunk, landing next to Jihoon who is pulling off his sweats in favor of cargo pants as quickly as he can. You feel dizzy and off balance as you do the same, shoving one foot in your pants and hopping on one leg as your foot catches while trying to shove in the other.

Jihoon grabs you by the elbow, holding you steady as you shove your foot through the leg of your pants and shoot him a grateful look. He nods, letting you go to finish zipping his pants and digging around for a shirt. He can’t seem to find one, cursing under his breath as he roots around. You toss him one of yours instead, grabbing a pair of socks and throwing yourself onto his bunk to yank them on, quickly followed by shoes. 

“Fuck,” Jihoon mutters as he looks up at the screen, the red painting him in hellish light. “We’ve got a Cat-4. They’re dropping Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker with us.” 

“Dino and Wylie weren’t even on rotation.” 

“They’re not making the same mistake they did with Solar Saber.” He pulls out a tablet, squinting against the glow. “We're the last line of defense. Hao and Jun will take point with Fang Striker.” 

“Got it. Let’s go.”

You take off at a jog, easily keeping pace with one another as you go. There are jaeger teams moving about the building getting ready, the alarms still sounding as you navigate to the jaeger bay. Your team is already there and ready to fit you into Drivesuits, sliding each piece of armor on with practiced care. 

Jihoon catches your eyes from where he stands across from you, letting a team member slide his hand into a metal glove. His eyes are dark as the stormy sea outside, a bottomless well that you can’t seem to dive down into, but want to. His lips twitch a little and he gives you a nod, which you’ve come to understand is Jihoon for I trust you. 

Screens blink to life as you enter the Conn-Pod. Closing the front shield of your helmet, you immediately turn on open comms, listening as the Marshall and LOCCENT Controller on duty - you think it’s Nainsi - talking Minghao and Junhui through their neural handshake. 

The spine of your Drivesuit connects to the Conn-pod, your heads up display coming to life. You feel the metal whirring and clicking into place, rotating your shoulders and flexing your fingers as your jaeger team finishes connecting Jihoon to the Conn-pod before exciting and shutting the door firmly.

“Storm Breaker ready to drop,” Jihoon announces. 

“Engaging pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence,” Nainsi answers. “Engaging neural handshake in three… two… one…”

It’s like jumping off a cliff into freezing cold water. You feel the flash of cold, vision going white for a split second before you feel Jihoon’s calm flow through you. He’s steady like an icy river, his thoughts, feelings and emotions hidden down in their dark depth where they can’t bother either of you.

You’re like rapids, rushing thoughts and feelings, pouring everything through the drift at him. He takes it in stride, used to the white-capped rush of information he gets from you each time you connect. Jihoon adjusts easily, already hitting buttons on his screen as images from your day flash through your mind - including you watching him make you tea in the kitchen.

Jihoon says nothing about that. He says nothing about the gentle wave of your embarrassment either as Nainsi says, “Neural handshake strong and holding.”

Chan’s voice crackles through comms. “Fang Striker on standby for neural handshake.”

“Copy. Storm Breaker prepare for drop in three… two… one.”

Dropping feels like falling through the core of the earth. For a few moments, it’s a flightless feeling as you fall through the Shatterdome. Then you land, knees absorbing impact as the head of the jaeger falls into the neck socket, locking in.

“Calibrating right side,” Jihoon announces. “Calibrated.”

“Calibrating left side. Calibrated. Ready to engage.” 

Nainsi confirms calibration and directs, “Storm Breaker, take north point defense two miles from the shoreline. Hold that line. Fang Striker, engaging in pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence in three… two… one.” 

You tune out the rest of Fang Striker’s drop as you and Jihoon behind to charge into the bay. The windshield in front of you immediately froths with sea salt and wind, battering down on the jaeger as the night sea surges against Storm Breaker’s legs. You cut through the water like a knife, carving your way toward the defense line as the jumphawk team flies into place. 

“Five minutes until surface breach.” 

“Oh! Hi, Vernon,” you chirp. 

“Sup?”

“Would kill for a coffee right now. And like, a bagel. Or hashbrowns?” 

Vernon groans. “Mood.” 

Jihoon snorts but says nothing. Minghao’s voice comes over the comms, soft and cool. “Blue, everytime I drop with you you’re talking about food.” 

“Have you considered that Ji doesn't feed me?” 

“So it’s Ji now, huh?”

“Don’t get her started,” Jihoon grunts at Minghao’s teasing. “One mile out from the line of defense.”

Chan joins the conversation, voice chipper. “Fang Striker ready to pursue. Also, good morning everyone!” 

Everyone groans in misery collectively instead of greeting him back. Wylie’s voice cracks like a whip as she spits out, “Be nice to him.” 

Everyone greets Chan after that. Jihoon shakes his head, amused. “Fang Striker, escort Emperor’s Mandate to engage. Four minutes until surface breach.” 

Black ocean ripples outward in front of Storm Breaker as you move. You near the defense line, the city lights like a sea of stars at Storm Breaker’s back. Air support circles overhead, monitoring kaiju activity and helping with positioning. You see the spotlights glinting on the surface, waiting for a kaiju to surface. 

To the east of your position, Fang Striker and Emperor’s Mandate cut through the water. Fang Striker’s red paint is violent against the night, but her build is small next to the towering white fury of Minghao and Junhui’s jaeger. 

“Storm Breaker in position,” Jihoon calls. You both stop moving, your jaeger coming to a standstill as the water sloshes around your waist. 

“Standby, Storm Breaker. Kaiju breach in one minute.” 

“Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker in position. Ready to engage.” 

“Engage at your discretion.” 

Comms go silent as the strike team waits for the kaiju to appear. It’s the calm before the storm, the silence pregnant with tension. You feel a tentative brush of Jihoon’s thoughts against you. You turn and glance at him, surprised. 

Jihoon is watching you with a stormy expression, thoughtful. “You thinking about letting me in that big ass head of yours?” You tease, just in your personal comms. 

He smirks and shakes his head, breaking eye contact to look out the front of Storm Breakers cockpit. “Not a chance.” 

It’s a lie. You know it's a lie because you feel it is as sure as you feel your own glittering satisfaction that he’s thinking about it. That Jihoon is considering opening the door for you, even a fraction. 

Your satisfaction only lasts a second as the kaiju breaches the surface in front of Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker. You watch in strained silence as the jumphawk team begins reporting what they can about the makeup of the kaiju.

Emperor’s Mandate engages immediately, their metal saber chain shooting from the right arm and punching through the shoulder of the kaiju. An electromagnetic pulse goes down the chain and it goes taught like a sword as Junhui slices upward, attempting to sever the kaiju’s arm. 

The kaiju lands a hard punch to Emperor’s Mandate in the middle, sending them backward into the ocean as the chain-turned-sword pulls out as they fall. Fang Striker is there before the kaiju can attack again, charging and tackling the kaiju at the waist. She’s not built for heavy fighting, but Chan and Wylie are vicious, clawing at the kaiju with their metal claws. 

“Fang Striker, roll!” Minghao orders. Fang Stricker does, using the kaiju as weight to rock themselves over and under the creature, vanishing beneath the water’s surface as Emperor’s Mandate lands a punch to the kaiju’s back with a plasmacaster, turning the night blue as the sparks flare. “Push and we’ll pull.”

Salt spray mists the windshield as you and Jihoon watch in silence. The kaiju is a massive, hulking beast with spikes down its spine and a nasty club tail that catches Fang Striker in the knees, taking her down. The two jaeger teams work in flawless tandem, punching when the other ducks, tackling with the other falls. 

In a way, it’s beautiful to watch the fury of what a jaeger can do. Your lips twitch upward as the fight starts to go their way, Emperor’s Mandate severing the leg of the monster as Fang Striker pounces on it, sinking both clawed hands into its shoulder blades and tearing through its hide. 

“Storm Breaker-” Vernon’s panicked voice gets cut off as your world turns upside down. 

You feel yourself slam against the restraints of the Conn-pod connecting you to the jaeger. A surprised shriek escapes you as you flip head-over-feet in Storm Breaker, crashing into the ocean with a violent slam. A kaiju raises itself from the water, rearing its head like a cobra as it shrieks, the sound shaking the entire hull. 

“What the fuck?” Jihoon screams over comms. Storm Breaker rolls as the kaiju strikes like a snake, barely missing you as it hits empty water. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“There was no reading!” Vernon yells back. “The signature appeared a half second before it attacked like it had some sort of stealth mode!” 

“Kaiju don’t have fucking stealth mode, Vernon!”

“Maybe it got an iOS update man, I don’t know!” 

There’s no time to care about why or how a kaiju isn’t appearing on the reporting team’s screen. Whatever level it is, it’s fast. You and Jihoon get to your feet just as it strikes again, fangs striking at the windshield. It doesn’t crack, but the sound of kaiju bone against the glass isn’t promising.

Storm Breaker stumbles back a few steps before regaining footing. You both strike with your right fist, slamming into the neck area of the beast as it winds up to strike again. It looks like a massive cobra, coils and coils of kaiju body gathering each time it tries. 

A shudder vibrates through the jaeger as the punch lands, sending the kaiju back several hundred yards. You don’t give it a moment to recover, both of you charging as you equip short swords perfect for close-combat fighting and slicing. 

“I think it’s too fast to pick up a reading,” you shout over comms. “It moves so quickly!”

Fighting is a careful rhythm. You and Jihoon find it immediately, tuning out the sound of the other fight as you zero in on your target. It doesn’t matter that the kaiju took you by surprise, it doesn’t matter that Jihoon still hasn’t let you in, it doesn’t matter that somewhere, you have other friends in just as much danger.

What matters is this. The feeling of rage that flows from Jihoon - or maybe it’s you - as you both savagely plunge a sword in the serpent body of your enemy. What matters is the way you and Jihoon flow, two rivers with the same curves and dips, sliding around the kaiju as you strike again, spraying ichor into the sea. 

Storm Breaker’s sword extends from the right arm, reflecting the city lights briefly before you cut sideways. The blade slides clean through like a knife through paper. You and Jihoon both scream savagely in unison as the head flies separate from the body, sailing in the air for a moment before crashing into the surface as blood spurts from the main body. 

It flails for a moment longer before crashing under ocean froth and water. Victory surges through you and you look across the Conn-pod where Jihoon is grinning at you, stars in his eyes. You feel a moment of elation, laughter bubbling to your lips as Nainsi recalls you to the Dome, Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker standing victorious.

“That’s kill number six?” Jihoon asks, voice delighted. “We’re on a fucking roll.” 

“I guess I’m not so bad a co-pilot after all, right?” He rolls his eyes but you get the feeling the tips of his ears have turned red. “Come on, Ji. Tell me I’m a good co-pilot.”

“No way.”

“Come onnnn.”

He levels a look at you, dark eyes churning. He licks his lips, opening and closing his mouth before he finally murmurs, “Can I show you instead?” 

The left foot of Storm Breaker is yanked from under you. You go down screaming, feeling the impact of the seafloor as you go down in the shallows hard. Pain shoots up your left arm as you slam against the restraints keeping you attached to the Conn-pod. Lights flash in your heads up display and a sensor starts going off, the left arm of the jaeger going dead as it loses connection. 

Jihoon is screaming your name over comms as you grit your teeth, and gather your bearings. You suck in a sharp breath as you both scramble to get Storm Breaker on her feet. “Left arms gone cold,” Jihoon yells over comms. You manage to get Storm Breaker to her feet as you both throw out your right arm, bracing for impact as the kaiju’s head strikes again. “It grew back two fucking heads!” 

“Fang Striker pursuing!” It’s Chan voice over the comms. “Three miles out from contact.” 

One of the heads strikes at the helm again, knocking into Storm Breaker hard. Your world rocks as you shove with the full force of the right side of the jaeger, thrusters turning on as you launch the kaiju and its twin heads backward. 

“How the fuck do we kill this thing?” you screech, charging toward the creature as it slides through the water, coiling to strike again. “If we cut off its head again, it’s just going to grow another.”

“Stab it through the head? I don’t fucking know!”

Snatches of panic and anger and concern seize you for a split second, it feels like your own but you realize it’s not, Jihoon’s feelings bleeding into you like a fresh wound as you strike at the kaiju again. Its tail loops around the left leg again and Jihoon’s worry spikes, so raw and unfamiliar that when he lifts his foot, you don’t lift yours. 

Storm Breaker stalls, filled with mechanic screeching as the two of you clash in the drift in a moment of indecision. A storm of emotions batters down on you. Your lungs squeeze as you feel yourself torn away from the fight and into Jihoon’s memories, each one flitting by so fast you can barely resonate with them. 

A little boy bullied by bigger kids. A woman being torn out of a home screaming in the hand of a kaiju. The sound of Mozart drowning out the screams of destruction. Young Jihoon crying in his room alone, nursing bruised ribs and knees. Teenage Jihoon fighting back. A man named Haneul that has seen all of Jihoon’s scars. 

“... out of alignment!” 

Words crash through you as you feel a tremor go through Storm Breaker. Jihoon’s thoughts are like a hurricane tearing at your foundation. 

Hatred when he meets you for the first time. Pride when he makes his first successful drop. Grief when Haneul retired. Resentment when he’s reassigned to a new pilot. 

Jihoon screams your name but you are drowning in him. Jihoon’s emotional dam has broken and years worth of who he is comes out in a torrent.

Jihoon joins the pilot program because he wants to get away from the home. The smell of books and oil lanterns. Greasy fingers and fumes. A blue mat rushing up to meet him as he falls. 

“Emperor’s Mandate two miles out. Preparing to engage!” 

Bitter coffee. Celebrating Haneul’s birthday. The sting of Chan biting him mid spar. Pretending he didn’t hate his childhood. Hiding the scared little boy behind a controlled exterior. 

“She’s chasing the rabbit!” 

Chasing the rabbit. You hear the word and vaguely realize you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of Jihoon’s memories and emotions, completely unused to them in a space where you’re connected intimately. You try to gather your bearings, shutting down the images flashing across your mind that don’t belong to you as Storm Breaker gets rocked again. 

“Shit,” Jihoon swears. “Blue, come on. Come back to me. I’m sorry. Don’t chase my memories!”

A kite against a blue sky. Two paper boats on a lake. Your smile as you hang upside down off the bunk bed. Soonyoung giving Jihoon a birthday cake. Wylie in a hospital bed. Jeonghan and Joshua accepting pilots of the year. 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon whispers, both in your mind and outloud. “Come back.”

You can do this. You can withstand the storm of Jihoon’s consciousness. You shake him out of your head, sorting out your thoughts and his. It’s nearly impossible to understand where you end and he begins, but you manage to hold back the wake of his uncontrolled consciousness.

Blinking, you come back to the present. There are lights and warnings going off as Storm Breaker takes another strike from the kaiju. Fang Striker is taking on its other head, the kaiju splitting focus between two jaeger teams as it tries to split open the top of your jaeger. Wylie and Chan are yelling in comms and Emperor’s Mandate is in pursuit to help you disengage. 

The left arm of your jaeger is still cold, totally disconnected from the rest of the machinery. You run through a list of fighting options with one arm down. The right side of the jaeger is fitted with a sword, explosive and a plasma caster in the first of the hand. But the jaeger overall- 

“Light it up,” you tell Jihoon. His relief crashing into you like a tidal wave. He understands what you want to do immediately. You feel his agreement rather than see it as you both start to tap controls on your control panels. “Fang Striker, prepare for lighting strike!” 

“Fry this motherfucker!” Wylie screams. “I fucking hate snakes!”

The nuclear reactor at the core of your jaeger starts to charge. From the top down, your jaeger begins to power down, lights flickering out and screens going dead. Your heart hammers as the kaiju slams into the head of the jaeger over and over again, trying to crack the helm wide open. Storm Breaker takes the savage blows as all but the nuclear core shuts off.

A low hum begins to sound at the heart of the machine. You feel the vibration tingle in your spine as all of the energy flow focuses in the center of the jaeger, slowly charging and pulling electricity from everywhere else. It’s a slow process, the kaiju beating down on you as the core winds up. 

“Fuck,” Jihoon swears at a particularly harsh strike. “This fucking bitch!”

“We’ve got it,” you tell him. You look across the Conn-pod at him, his face pale behind the shield of his helmet. “She’s not going to break, Ji.” 

You feel your words resonate in him. His affection is startling. He hides nothing from you now, every thought he’s ever had of you, every moment his eyes lingered on you too, every second he realized he didn’t dislike you at all - it’s all there for you to see. His soul laid bare. 

“She’s ready!” Your smile is like the sun. “Light her up!” 

Jihoon hits a button on his panel and the air turns to static. A ripple of energy passes through you, only lasting a split second before a bolt of white lightning explodes from the center of the jaeger. The world turns white, forcing you to shield your eyes as you hear the crack of deafening thunder. 

Ears ringing, you lower your hand as the light fades, blue sparks of electricity zapping across the ocean in a mile-wide radius. Smoking, the kaiju falls backwards, ocean spraying up on either side as it hits the surface of the sea. You can barely hear Fang Striker over the sound of the high-pitched whine in your ears.

You wait, but the kaiju doesn’t rise again. The jumphawk team circles above, waiting for another kaiju signature, but none comes. 

Sagging in your Conn-pod, you glance over at Jihoon. “Does that count as one or two kills? I’m so fucking over monster fighting today. I want a goddamn grilled cheese.”

-

Jihoon is a wreck. Not only does he visibly hover near your medical bed as the attending medic tends to your arm, ensuring it’s not broken, but you can still feel him like he’s attached to you in the drift. His concern is touching, but there’s also anger there. Not at you but at himself, boiling under the surface of his newfound worry. 

“So she’ll be okay?” he clarifies again, looking at the doctor with a hard stare. The man tending to your arm looks nervous under the sharp gaze of a jaeger pilot. “You’re sure it’s not broken? It better not be broken.”

“Jihoon,” you say gently. He crosses his arms over his chest, not taking his eyes off the doctor as he stares him down. “I’m fine. It’s just some bruising.”

“Just some bruising. Your arm practically fell off.”

“It did not. Let the doctor finish, Ji.”

He softens, turning to sit on an empty cot as he sulks. You watch him with muted amusement. His bottom lip juts out slightly, put out by you not letting him baby you. Cute, you think. 

Thankfully, the arm isn’t damaged. You’d bruised it pretty severely when Storm Breaker went down and you slammed against your restraints, but otherwise you’re unharmed. Some pain meds, ice and rest should do the trick, so you and Jihoon leave the medical bay with the doctor’s advice in hand and Jihoon muttering under his breath.

Back in your room, Jihoon sits you on his bottom bunk to examine the arm himself, holding you carefully as though he can break you at any moment. You let him have this, watching as his eyebrows crease and mouth twists while he rotates your arm delicately.

He has pretty hands. You’ve always thought so, but now you watch his slender fingers brush over your sore arm with care, feeling a shiver threaten the base of your spine. 

“You should ask for a reassignment.” Jihoon’s words land like a brick. You look up at him, eyes flashing with confusion. “I nearly killed you today. It was unprofessional and shameful as your co-pilot to knock you out of alignment like that. You don’t deserve that.”

“It happens, Jihoon. Fighting in a jaeger isn’t always perfect.”

“Well I am. And today I wasn’t. Request a new pilot, the Marshall will understand. People don’t last with me, it’ll be no risk to you.”

“I’m not requesting a new pilot. You’re who I want to drift with.”

He starts to pace. “Why? I’m obviously still that scared little boy who used to hide in his room alone.” 

Even without having felt his emotions in the drift, Jihoon makes so much more sense to you now. You reach out to him, taking him by the arms to stop his pacing. He won’t look at you, averting his eyes elsewhere. Your heart squeezes knowing that the reason Jihoon kept you out is because he didn’t want you to see who he was before he was the controlled, perfect jaeger pilot. 

“You’re not, Jihoon.” You squeeze his arm to emphasize your words. “But even if you were, I trust that little boy too. He was empathetic and kind.” Jihoon glances at you, unsure. “Don’t run away from me now that you’ve let me in. I’ve seen you and I still want you. Unless you don’t want me.”

“Of course I do.”

“It’s hard to tell with you, you know?”

His gaze drops down to your mouth. “I’ll show you, then.” 

Without another word, Jihoon grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him fully. Your arms slip around his neck, holding onto him for balance as he crashes his mouth to yours. His lips are warm and soft in contrast to the ferocity he kisses you with, fingers digging into your hips, mouth hungry. 

You meet him with equal fervor, fingers tangling in the long hair at the nape of his neck. He grunts when your nails scratch against his scalp, biting into your lower lip. He presses his tongue to the seam of your mouth and you let him in, sighing as his tongue brushes against yours, eager to taste you.

Kissing Jihoon is like standing in the eye of a storm. He’s brutal and calm, sharp and soft. His heart beats against yours, his chest heaving when he pulls away from your mouth to press wet kisses to the shape of your jaw and down your throat.

One of Jihoon’s hands slides up your back, fingers dancing along your spine until he reaches the base of your neck. He grabs you firmly, pulling your head back to give him better access to the softness of your throat. You let out a breathy sound and he groans low in his throat. 

“Don’t make that sound,” he whispers, biting your neck gently and chasing the sting with his tongue. “I’ll fucking crumble.” 

“So crumble.” 

“Fuck.”

Jihoon starts pushing you backward, your steps a tangle of feet. It might be the most uncoordinated the two of you have ever been, caught up in the heat of each other’s mouths as he kisses you feverishly again. It’s messy and spit-slicked, making you light headed. Your knees hit his bottom bunk and you crash backward, Jihoon on top of you. 

Your hands seek the warmth of his skin, sliding under the hem of his shirt over his flexing stomach to his firm chest. He lets you rake your nails across him as he settles on top of you, his hands planted on either side of your head and a knee slotted between your legs. 

Having him this close is everything. Months of not being able to have him entirely or the way you want has made you ravenous for him. You pull at his shirt, nipping at his lip and whining. He laughs darkly, leaning up from you to grab the back of his shirt and pull it up over his head. 

He lets you do what you want, content to let you run your fingers over the ridges of his stomach, the narrow shape of his waist, the firmness of his chest. He dives back down to attach his mouth to your collarbone, pulling the neckline of your shirt out of the way for access.

“Just take it off,” you complain, shivering as he continues his assault.

“Mmmf - difficult.”

This is not the composed Jihoon you’re used to. This is the raw, unedited version of him you’ve been begging to see. This is the storm letting loose because he knows you can take it - want to take it.

Jihoon does get tired of your shirt, growling as he grabs it firmly and tears it up and over your head. You laugh as he does, loving the way he scowls and presses you back down, biting your jaw as he does. He palms your tits over your bra, pinching your nipples through the fabric. You squeal and arch into him, head pressing into the mattress.

“Don’t laugh at me,” he huffs, mouth trailing butterfly-soft kisses toward your chest. 

“Sensitive?” you jest, dropping a hand between your bodies to press against the front of his pants. He hisses, hips twitching as you press against his cock. You grin wickedly as he pants raggedly against your skin, letting you squeeze him. “Yeah, you are.” 

Jihoon drags his knee up the bed, pressing between your legs. A bolt of pleasure surges through you and you whimper, making him smirk against your chest. “What was that?” 

“Nothing.”

He drops a hand down to your waist, squeezing. “Didn’t sound like nothing. Come on,” he urges. “You know you want to.” 

So you do. You roll your hips forward, pressing your clothed cunt against his thigh. The layers of clothes block too much of the sensation and you press harder, desperate for stimulation. A whine drips from your mouth as you grow frustrated. You feel the curve of Jihoon’s smile against the curve of your left breast as he places a wet kiss there. 

“Having a hard time?”

“Jihoon.”

One hand stays fixed on your hips, urging you to continue to grind into him despite it not being enough. The other slides up your front, his fingers light as feathers. He hooks a finger in the cup of your bra and pulls downward. He drags his mouth downward, giving your nipple a playful flick with his tongue. 

“Jihoon.” 

He hums thoughtfully, circling your pert bud with his tongue. A tremor goes through you and you squeeze your eyes shut. He closes his mouth on you and sucks gently, making you gasp. You continue to roll your hips into him as he scrapes his teeth against you gently. 

Cool air hits your spit-slicked chest as he kisses sloppily over to your other breast, repeating his ministrations. It feels so good you feel like you’re going to lose your mind. His skin is hot against yours and you’re desperate to feel more of him, hands pulling at his shoulders as he sucks wet marks into your chest. 

“More,” you whisper. “God, please more.” 

He knows what you mean when you say more because of course he does. He rids you of your bra entirely, throwing it somewhere else in the room. He works the buttons on your pants next, deft fingers moving quickly before tugging them down your thighs. He lets you pull his cargos down and throw them, but it’s as far as you get before he’s lavishing attention to your tits again. 

“Try now,” he pants. 

His knee is pressed right against the apex of your thighs. You don’t care that he can feel the damp cloth against his skin. You slow grind on his knee, feeling the pressure infinitely better with just a thin layer of underwear between you. A sigh of relief escapes you and he grunts, pleased as you keep going, thighs shaking. 

You could drown in him and not care. He smells like spearmint and soap, his hair soft as silk as it slides between your fingers. He gives a sound of approval everytime you card your hands through his hair, especially when he gives you a sharp bite and you tug. 

A tingle settles in the depth of your stomach. You feel like you could almost come this way, getting off with just his leg between your thighs and his mouth sucking greedily at your tits. You feel yourself tighten, hips pressing further but it’s not quite enough.

He reads you like a book. Jihoon slides his knee back and replaces it with his hand, fingers delicately pressing against your clit. It makes you see stars, going rigid in his grasp as he gently circles it a few times before dragging his fingers back down to press at your core through your underwear. 

“So god damn wet,” he lets go of your nipple with a pop. He hooks a finger through your underwear and pulls them to the side, his knuckles brushing your sticky folds. “So pretty for me.” 

His compliment makes you shy. You hide your face behind your hands and he laughs darkly, letting you. He’s already seen all of you in the drift, but this is different. More personal. Real. 

The press of a finger into your cunt is slow and maddening. You immediately want more, desperate for it. He doesn’t give it to you right away, taking his time as he busies his mouth with your chest and neck, content to finger fuck you at a leisurely pace. 

When he hooks his finger and presses right into that soft spot, you seize up. He grins, finding exactly what he was looking for. His mouth catches yours again, a tangle of tongue and teeth as he presses another finger in. You squirm against the mattresses, pinned under his weight. The heel of his hand presses into your clit, adding pressure as he strokes your front walls rhythmically. 

You’re greedy for him. You suck his tongue into your mouth and he moans, letting you do what you want. The wet squelch of his hand between your legs only spurs you on, his name dripping from your lips in a whine as you cling to him, feeling the start of your orgasm.

Jihoon knows it’s coming. His pace is more intent and he shuffles up the bed to get a better angle. Your toes curl and you writhe against the sheets, feeling the way they stick to your balmy skin as he works you closer and closer to an orgasm. 

He presses a soft kiss under your ear, chaste compared to the mess he makes of your cunt. “Come on,” his voice is husky and gentle. “Let go for me.”

It’s his for me that sends you over the edge. Your legs squeeze around his hand but he keeps at it, pressing tender kisses to your collarbones as you twitch under his touch. Your orgasm starts to wane and turn into overstimulation, your panting turning into whimpering, nails digging into the back of his neck, unsure if you’re trying to push him away or keep him there.

Jihoon retracts his hand slowly. You feel the way you drip down the curve of your ass as you pant, staring up at the bottom of your bunk trying to gulp down air. He nudges his nose against your jaw, bringing your attention back to the present as his dark eyes look up at you.

Your voice comes out rough from use. “Want you.”

The corner of his mouth lifts and he nods, lifting himself off you to let you peel your underwear the rest of the way down as he works his briefs down his thighs. You let out a squeak when you look up to see him using the cum on his fingers to stroke himself, head tilted back a little, eyes heavy. 

“What?” he murmurs, dropping his gaze down to you. His eyes are fucked out just from getting you off and it drives you insane, this visual of him blotchy with warmth, hair sticking to his forehead.

“You’re so hot,” you blurt and he pauses, raising a brow at you. “Don’t stop.” 

“You like when I touch myself in front of you?” You nod, chewing on your lip as you stare. He grins and starts stroking himself slowly again, squeezing his flushed tip as he does, beads of precum dripping over the edge. “I’ll give you a show later. If I don’t fuck you in the next five minutes I will nut in my hand.” 

“I mean, I wouldn’t hate it.” 

“Oh? You want me to cum in my hand instead of that pretty pussy?” You purse your lips, staring back at him with a pout. “Didn’t think so.” He laughs and shuffles on his knees toward you, shaking his head and groaning when your legs fall open automatically for him, revealing the mess he’s made. “Can’t believe I made myself wait for this.” 

“How stupid of you.”

Your stomach flutters when Jihoon lowers himself, cockhead pressing at your entrance. You ache for him - in more ways than one. Jihoon feels it too, hanging his head and letting his hair cascade around his face like a silvery halo as he slowly presses in. 

His name falls from your mouth as you gasp, feeling the pressure of him as he sinks into your cunt slowly. You feel full and overwhelmed and perfect all at once, a myriad of feelings peppering your senses until he’s fully sheathed to the hilt. 

Jihoon’s breathing is ragged for a moment as you clench around him, throbbing. He sucks in air sharply between his teeth, one hand going to your hip to press you into the mattress while the other lands next to your head, bearing his weight. 

“Thank you for waiting for me.” You almost don’t hear him when he says it, his voice so soft. “When you didn’t have to.”

Your arms loop around his neck, pulling him closer. His nose brushes against yours and you feel your adoration for him grow. “Of course I did. You were meant for me.” 

Prompted by your words, he nods and pulls his hips back slowly. The glide is easy with how wet you are. He thrusts back in with a hard snap, stealing your breath. The ability to string together coherent words vanishes as Jihoon sets a punctuated space. 

“Fuck,” you whisper. 

Fuck is right. Jihoon angles his hips perfectly, kissing your spot with each thrust with a deadly precision you’ve only seen in battle. Of course he fucks like he fights with absolute accuracy, driving you right toward an orgasm within a few minutes. Your fingers tangle in your hair, mouth pressed against his forehead where it rests against you. 

His hand slides from your hips to your thigh, slipping under it and hiking it upward. It deepens the angle and you let out a loud sound, unable to catch your breath as sparks fly behind your eyelids.

“Holy shit, like that.” You’re a mess under him and he knows it, driving his hips faster as you continue to fall apart. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

“Yeah?” he asks, almost taunting. “Gonna come like this?”

“Yes, please don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t. He keeps going, driving you to the edge until you’re coming around him with enough force to knock heads with him. He mumbles something that sound like ouch but you’re too far gone, squeezing the fucking life out of him as you come before going boneless. 

Jihoon pulls out and flips you, your world spinning as you land face first in his pillows. They smell like him and you love it, sliding your hands up to grip at the pillows as he drags your knees up, ass toward him. Sweat slicks your back and you try to take in a few ragged breaths, turning your head to the side to watch him sidelong. 

His dark eyes dip to your ass and he curses, shifting backward so that he can lean down, hands prying your thighs apart to make way for his tongue as it slides up your pussy. 

“Oh shit,” you wheeze. 

He practically purrs against you, tongue licking slowly back and forth. The grip on his pillows tightens, one of your hands shooting back to grab his hair, holding him to you. He laughs, the vibration going straight through you as he sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking over it. 

“I love when you pull my hair,” he admits, panting as he takes a breath. 

His tongue dives back in, pressing against your clenching hole. It is maddening the way he works you with his mouth. You feel like you’re coasting to another high. He knows exactly what to do, knows when to slow down, knows when to speed up. Jihoon has had access to you for months and it shows, navigating your body like it’s second nature to him.

“I’m gonna come again.” It comes out as a whine, fingers twisting in his locks. “Shit.”

“So come again.” 

You do. It’s not as hard as the first one but it’s just as good, your orgasm shivering through you. Warmth floods you and you bite into his pillow, muting the loud sound that spills from your lips. 

Jihoon doesn’t give you a second to recover before he’s up on his knees and pushing back into you. His hand cracks across your ass and you let out a startled yelp, earning laughter from both of you. Spent and delirious, your hand finds purchase on his wrist, holding on to him as he fucks you fast and hard. 

He lets go of where he holds your hip to lace your fingers instead, pressing your linked fingers against the curve of your ass as he drills his hips forward. Somehow the hand holding is more intimate, your throat screwing shut as Jihoon chases after his own high.

With a muted murmur of your name, he comes. His thrusts turn messy, each press of his hips against your ass met with a wet sound. You don’t even care about the slick running down your legs, absolutely spent and sweaty and tired and a little in love with the man behind you.

Slowly, he lets go of your hand. You drop your arm to the mattress, suddenly aware of the ache in your shoulder at the angle. Instead of pulling out, Jihoon leans forward, pressing his sweaty chest to your back, mouth brushing softly against your shoulders. 

“Thank you.” 

You’re so close to sleep that you barely register what he’s saying. “For what?”

“Withstanding the storm,” he laughs. “Withstanding me and waiting me out.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I hope so. I want to be.” 

With care, he detangles himself from you. You make a pitiful sound and he tuts at you, rolling you over on your back so that he can see your face. His eyes swim with more affection than you’ve ever seen, kick starting your heart. You lift a hand and tuck his bangs behind his ear, fingers lingering to brush across his cheek.

“So I’m kind of like your Storm Breaker, right?” 

He groans. “Don’t start.”

“What? You literally just said I withstood the storm or whatever.” 

“Come on, we’re showering.” 

“No way, I am not moving right now.”

“You are not sleeping covered in cum.”

“Ji,” you whine. 

He grins and kisses your head, getting out of bed. “Come on then, storm breaker. Withstand me a little more.” 

TAG LIST:

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[pan-kojiwa]

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ➻ 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧?

[Characters] ➻ 𝐒𝐚𝐞 𝐈𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 | 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫 | ??? |

[CW] ➻ SFW, stranger to lovers, whipped Kaiser, a bit ooc.

Waffle’s note -> that was long… tbh I didn’t know where I was going with this at some point… I should’ve just made a boyfriend!kaiser *sigh* well anyway, it’s still about cute aggression but with a little bit of obsession??? Also, does it feel like I tried to headcanon my way out of an 2k OS? Yes? Yh me too… it happened twice.. anyways u_u’

❦ 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫

✮ Michael Kaiser was used dealing with malice, to the point it became a second nature to him. After all, it was all he had ever known. Hurting people just came that easily. But everything changed when you showed up, and it’s still the case till this day. Michael Kaiser is mean, arrogant, and overly confident, yet all of that disappears in your presence. In fact, the first time he saw you, he couldn’t even speak. All you did was smile— yet he stood there, stunned. Your smile… so timid, but so bright… it almost blinded him. And your eyes… God. Those innocent sparkles in your eyes when you looked at him… he lost the war before it even began that day. You literally destroyed the thick walls he spent so long building around himself. Yes— the walls that hid the most ugliest parts in him, they got blown up. With just one look. And since then, he’s been craving your gaze— your attention. He’s drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.

✮ Kaiser can be really selfish sometimes. From the first time he saw you, he knew he wanted you all for himself. He can’t help it, your entire being is calling to him. It's almost turning into an obsession at this point— and resisting the urge to be all up in your space is becoming hard. He wants to be the only person that you see, just as you're the only one he sees. Your smile when you're happy, your cries when you're sad, your rosie cheeks when you're being shy. Aah—He’s overwhelmed. Feeling so many emotions at once while picturing how cute you are— oh... he would love to have you all to himself.

✮ Kaiser never thought he would become a big, hopeless idiot when in love. Then again, it’s not surprising for someone who spent his life pushing people away and experiencing nothing but hate. But now, being hated, receiving or giving malice, manipulating people… he doesn’t care about any of that. Yeah— It doesn’t matter anymore. All he wants is you. You. The way his name rolls perfectly on your tongue like it was meant for it. The way your ears and nose turns a bright red when he tilts your chin up just to tease you. The way you always take a step back, completely flustered whenever he gets too close—he wants it. He needs it. God no— he craves it. He’s longing for a taste of your love, and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to have you by his side.

✮ Since you’re his first love, or more like the first person he’s allowed himself to love, sometimes he doesn’t quite understand his feelings. Well, he knows it’s love. What he doesn’t understand are the overwhelming urges to touch you, to feel your skin under his fingertips, to hold you in his arms, to grab you and kiss you all over, the urges to bite you just from looking at you smile… He just can’t seem to control himself around you. And he just can’t leave you alone either.

You’re passing by when someone suddenly yanks you into on of the meeting rooms. Luckily, the lights are on, so you could immediately see the face of the culprit.

“Kaiser?! What the fuck!? You scared the shit out of me!”

You quickly push the door closed, just in case someone passes by. You definitely don’t want to get caught in an empty room with one of the players.

Kaiser chuckles with a smirk as he leaned on the table behind him.

“ - Oh really, liebling? My apologies, I didn’t mean to.”

You raise an eyebrow, sceptical. Because from where you stand, he clearly did. Yet, you couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

“ - What are you doing here? Aren’t you gonna shower with the others?”

“ - Too crowded.” He replies, stepping closer to you with that playful smirk.

Your heart starts racing, and a faint blush creeps on your cheeks. You instinctively back away, your breath hitching. The door was behind you so you know you’re absolutely not trapped in the room. But with him so close, all up in your space feels like all your senses are being tickled. And not to mention how Kaiser had been acting strange lately. He’s always been a bit pretentious with everyone— even when he was alone— but now it seems like he’s paying extra attention to you. At first, you were thrown off, but the way he treats you like you were the most amazing person in the world makes you curious. Or flattered?

“ - Should I give you the key to the staff bathroom?”

“ - Oh my, I’d like that—only if you come with me.”

You blush furiously, your head dropping as you stare at your shoes, completely flustered.

“ - I—”

Kaiser grabs your chin, carefully lifting your head to meet his gaze. His gaze is intense yet soft on you. You could see his inner conflict swirling in those blue eyes, just like a storm.

“ - I know you were about to go take care of the team… He pauses. But… I wanted you all to myself.” He says bluntly freeing your chin, before taking one of your hand in his. He then gives it a light squeeze lifting towards his lips to place a soft kiss on it.

Your flustered look as well as your fluttering eyes makes him clench his jaw. Why are you making this so much harder for him? Why your little pout drives him mad like this? Why is it so hard— so impossible to resist you?

When he’s around you he can’t seem to control his emotions. So his only option left, is to let you go.

“ - If I make you stay here any longer, I might end up never letting you go.”

He tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear and then lets you out of the room, confused and heart pounding hard in your chest

✮ When he sees you, on the bench, wearing a jersey—a little too big for you— with his number and his name, his heart skips a beat. A warm feeling invading all his senses. He can’t see your expression completely from that distance, but he can definitively imagine your sweet lips silently cheering for him as well as your doe eyes, focused on him—full of anticipation for his goal. Suddenly, all he wants is to run to you— grab your head and kiss every inch on your adorable face. Yet he brushes off all this chaos of emotion it with a confident smirk, only sending a flying kiss towards you as he scores a goal for you. He was so close to ditch the whole match just to shower you with kisses.

✮ Kaiser is pretty much an open book once you get to know him. You’re completely aware of how whipped he is for you, even if he still tries to deny how much effect you have on him. The way you nervously play with your hair, or the way your fingers brush against his when you hand him his water battle during the team training— It’s almost ridiculous how it makes him go insane. So much that he can’t believe how much he just wants to hold you in his arms and hide you away.

✮ He likes to scoop you up in his arms. He always says that you look cuter that way but really, you both know it’s just an excuse to hold you in his arms. The way you circle your arms around his neck— pressing your chest tightly against his as your head rests on his shoulder. The way you hide your flushed face in the crook of his neck— oh… He swallows hard, an overwhelming warmth spreading through his entire body. He swallows again as the sensation began to migrate towards his heart. Fuck… it feels like it’s melting. He desperately wants to kiss you… to bite you… you’re so cute to the point he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. If you knew how much his heart is begging for your love right now… would you want him as much as he wants you?

✮ Kaiser always tries to mask what he truly feels with arrogance or confidence— because after all he’s “superior to all those plebeians.” So of course vulnerability isn’t something he comfortable with. He needs complete control over his emotion to feel secure. But it’s impossible with you around. And no matter how hard he tries to resist, he just can’t hide how much your cuteness affects him.

“ - Micheal!”

He turns around as he hears a very familiar voice calling him from afar—your voice. Your beautiful voice. The voice that could bring him down to his knees, even if he tried so hard not to fumble.

The cheerful tone you only use when you see him or when he smiles at you never fails to make his heart burst in flames. He can’t stay away from you, so that probably explains why his feet moved on their own, rushing toward you. And right there, you’re killing him— or more like your expression is. How can you be so cute? Your shy smile—your eyes shining with pure joy and affection— it’s making his heart swell with a softness that he sure isn’t used to—and it’s like a punch in the face.

But he can’t let you see this weak side of him. He can’t possibly let you know that he’s pathetic without you.

“ - Well, well, look who’s back to see this poor, miserable man.”

He stops right in front of you slightly leaning forward.

“ - You make it sound like I abandoned you.” You laugh softly hearing the dramatic tone dripping from his voice. But there’s something else in it—something that you can’t quite put your finger on.

“ - Oh, but you did.” He grabs his chest like what you just said hurt him deeply.

“ - Without any pity for my poor soul, you left me all alone for an entire week.” You tilt your head at the tone in his voice. It was back. That sad tone—no, not sad. Sorrow? You just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“ - I was sick… sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

The way your voice softened to reassure him, how you’re actually scearching for his gaze to make sure he’s okay, it must have done something to his heart, because before you even know, one of his hand is on your chin, tilting your face toward him. But his touch feels hesitant—because in reality he knows that being so close to you, feeling you skin under his fingertips— this is a risky move—but he couldn’t stop himself.

Your hopeful gaze, the way your lips parts as if you wanted to say something but didn’t—

He’s down bad. He wants to hold you, to hug you and kiss you everywhere. You’re too cute for your own good. His heart is pounding in his chest as if it could burst any minute from now.

But Instead, he simply gives you an enigmatic smile, while his fingers slowly let go of your chin.

“ - It’s okay, mein liebling, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just happy you came back to me.”

And with that, he turns away, glancing at you one last before walking away.

“ - Wait—don’t go!” You grab his arm before he can get too far.

“ - Oh? Can’t live without me already?”

You look down, nervous and unsure, blushing slightly as you bite your inner lip. And something in Kaiser snaps. Something he’s been trying—desperately—to control. He can’t stand it anymore. You’re just too fucking cute, too precious.

“ - Fuck…”

He quickly grab your face, pressing a gentle kiss on one of your cheek, then the other. You then close your eyes as you feel him moving toward your left eye, then the right one.

“ - I need you… I need you so badly in my life. I can’t resist anymore… please…”

Your eyes went wide and you feel your heart swell in happiness— you even tear up from the emotions. Without wasting any more time, you wrap your arms around his head , pulling him into a tight hug with his head resting in the crook your neck, a relieved smile on his face.

Silently, you hug each other.

✮ The way you pout sometimes, when you’re looking for him silently scanning the room with your eyes. And the way they instantly light up when you finally spot him— god you’re so cute. It always makes him want to grab you, bite your shoulder or cover your face with kisses.

✮ The way you only look at him— like the other players don’t even matter. The way you massage his shoulders during breaks to help him relax, while you completely ignore the other players— giving him all your attention. It never fails making him feel like he’s special. Your favorite. God, the way you always run to him first with that sincere and genuine smile of yours, shining so brightly on your face. You’re just so perfect in his eyes. To the point, the only way he can manage to regain control is by nearly choking himself.

✮ He likes to tease you. He noticed how much his teasing fluster you and seeing you blush and whimper like that with your adorable doe eyes when he gets close to you makes his heart explode. And he’s addicted to this sensation.

✮ The way you get jealous is so endearing to him—you’re just like an angry little kitten when fans and random people try to flirt with him. He doesn’t even look at them—because they’re not you after— still, he can see how much it pisses you off. Well it’s fine by him. He gets to have you all for himself right?

You and Kaiser are heading toward the training ground entrance, chatting about you are in such a good mood. Well— until a sudden screech resonated in your ears. Of course it’s yet another fan trying to get his attention, screaming his name and saying all kinds of bullshit about how he can “get it.”

You turn around instantly, glaring daggers at whoever said that. Violence isn't an answer. It's a question— the answer is yes. Fully understanding this quote you prepare yourself to throw hands. But before you can even take a step, Kaiser stops you with a smirk. And, really, he doesn’t fucking know where he finds the strength not to pinch your puffed up— angry cheeks. So damn pretty.

With some convincing, you finally step inside the training ground holding in hand. However, the second you’re out of the public eye, you slam him against the nearest wall, gripping his collar.

“ - When are you going to ask me out?” You hiss, frowning and lips pressed into an adorable pout.

Kaiser smirks chuckling as he tilts his head slightly.

“ - Oh, but Liebling... He then slides his hands on your hips, pulling you closer while lowering his head in the crook of your neck. You feel his teeth faintly grazing your skin before pressing a soft kiss on the same spot. You're already mine.”

[utopiastri]

25. Showing up injured at their enemy's house for Osc/Charles, please? 🙏

hi anon!!! thank you for the prompt dear! i've never written choscar before and this was an absolute delight to put together!!! (cw for descriptions of major injury)

(prompt list here)

Oscar’s doing his best not to yawn through Ryan’s work story when the doorbell rings.

He smiles apologetically, standing up from the table. “Sorry, let me just get that.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Ryan says, smiling politely. Oscar inwardly grimaces at the pet name but smiles back.

A horrible feeling in his gut makes Oscar close the door to the dining room on his way to the front of the house. This gut feeling is proven correct when he opens the door to find Charles Leclerc on his front doorstep.

“What are you doing here?” he hisses.

Charles gives him a pained smile. “Oh, believe me, I wish I were anywhere else but here currently.”

“Then, why are you here? Go somewhere else!”

Charles gives Oscar a pleading look. “I need your help.”

“Charles,” he says exasperatedly, scrubbing his hands over his face, “I am literally the last person you should expect to help you.”

“Please.”

Oscar swallows. He hears a sound from behind him.

“Uh,” Ryan calls from a few rooms away, “Everything ok, sweetheart?”

Charles shoots him a look. “Sweetheart?” he mouths.

“Shut up. I was on a date before you came barging in here,” he whispers.

“A first date?" Charles asks, eyebrows raised, before correcting himself. "Ah, no, a second date but the first one was already pretty shit, hm?”

Oscar hates how perceptive he is.

“Yes,” he admits reluctantly.

“So second date. And you are letting him call you ‘sweetheart’?”

Oscar glares at Charles, but doesn’t get a chance to retaliate before Ryan’s made it to the front door.

“Oh. Ah. Who’s this, Oscar?” he asks.

“Pierre Gasly,” Charles lies smoothly, extending a hand to shake, “I’m a friend of Oscar’s from work." He shoots Oscar a defeated look. "I was just stopping by to drop something off, I won’t take up any more of your evening.”

“Wait,” Oscar says, before Charles can even start to run off. He hates himself for what he's about to do but his decision was made the second Charles said ‘please’. He turns to Ryan: “I’m so sorry, Charles actually came to tell me there’s a problem at work we’ll need to sort out – he offered to deal with it himself but I think I’ll have to lend a hand.”

Ryan shakes his head. “No, that’s ok, I’ll, uh, leave you guys to it?”

“If you would,” Charles answers, smiling in a way that would alarm anyone who knows him, but tends to charm complete strangers.

After a couple of minutes of Oscar saying his goodbyes to Ryan (and suffering through the worst goodnight kiss of his life), Oscar turns his focus to Charles, who is…

No longer in the hallway.

“Charles?” he calls.

“Kitchen!” is the response he gets.

“You know, when I offered to help you, that wasn’t me offering you to give yourself a…tour.” Oscar freezes in the doorway of his kitchen staring at the mess of wounds that was once Charles’ chest. “Charles,” he says hoarsely.

Charles smiles wanly, even as he continues to try to clean out his injuries a little. “Like I said,” he hisses as he pokes at a particularly nasty-looking wound, “I need your help.”

“You didn’t think to maybe mention the fucking life-threatening injuries you had, rather than standing on my doorstep teasing me about my date,” Oscar chastises, kneeling down on the tiles and swiping the first aid supplies from Charles’ hands.

“Oh come on, Oscar. You deserve better than a man who,” Charles cuts himself off to groan as Oscar starts methodically trying to close up Charles’ worst injuries, but he swiftly continues speaking, “A man who calls you a pet name on the second date. And god, the least he could do is call you ‘baby’.”

“Do you think teasing me about pet names whilst I literally hold your life in my hands is the way to go?”

Charles smiles lazily, even as his eyes squeeze tight with pain. “Perhaps not, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Oscar says, taking a grim delight in the sharp inhale Charles takes as he starts stitching a large cut together, “You lost the right to call me ‘baby’ three years ago.”

“Was that when I tried to kill you in San Diego or when you tried to kill me in Beijing?”

Oscar gives him a wry look. “That was when you decided to skip our wedding to go meet with an arms dealer.”

“Ah, yes, my mistake. I promise he was an ugly arms dealer, if that makes you feel any better.”

For a few moments, the only sound in the room is Oscar trying to deal with Charles’ injuries as best he can. Oscar wants to say something. He wants to ask so badly what Charles is doing here, but he knows Charles knows he wants to ask and he refuses to give him the satisfaction.

He gives in in the end though.

He always does with Charles.

“Why did you come here? Why come to me?”

Charles looks at him and, for the first time tonight, Oscar truly registers the deep devastation in his eyes.

“You were the only one I trusted not to hurt me,” he whispers.

[seamany]

The Post that Solved it All for me, PART TWO

NOT MY POST, MOBILEBLACKSMITH2535 ON REDDIT*

What do I mean by this? Try this exercise with me. Think of your desired reality right now (bonus points for a first person perspective). You can even close your eyes and take a few seconds to think of it. You got it in your head? Now that you are in your desired reality think about the thoughts that you usually worry about when it comes to shifting (stuff like "it's not real" or "I can't do it" or "it's taking so long" etc). Thinking as your desired reality self now you are going to realize those thoughts are pointless because you shifted and you are in your desired reality. There you go, congratulations, you are in your dr. Every time you experience a feeling of helplessness or other negative feeling you are going to remind yourself that you have shifted already and creation is finished. Emotions do not matter and can never control you because they are physical sensations, a part of the 3d. The 3d that you don't care about anymore. You aren't going to ignore the 3d you just don't care about it anymore because you are in your desired reality. Why should you care? You already have your desire. You've shifted already and everytime you go to sleep you wake up in your dr, so why worry about whether this shifting attempt is going to be successful? Why even worry about the worry? Worrying is useless. You are not doing anything anymore except living peacefully knowing you are in your dr. You don't have to will away the emotions or thoughts. You don't have to do anything any more. It doesn't matter if you forget all of what I said in this post, and now you have gone back to panicking about nothing, because you are in your desired reality. You can breathe knowing that that doesn't matter anymore. No more worrying. No more heartache. No more anxiety. No more frustration. No more doubts. You won. You know what I'm saying. Say these things to yourself as much as you feel you need to, but fair warning learn from my mistake and don't look for proof of your manifestation in the 3d. Because you are in your desired reality, so why in the world would you see anything else? Whether or not you are using the law of assumption to get something you desire or not it is always taking affect and you can never stop manifesting. Unless that's your manifestation. But it's still a paradox because your manifesting no manifestation. Anyways that's it. This is what separated me from being desperate, obsessive, and discouraged to being a master shifter. Just remember that the law literally cannot fail you. If you are experiencing something it's BECAUSE you are accepting something NOT because the law does not work. It's as simple as that. Please ask questions, I want to help as much as I can. I know this is a long reply, but you can't give up when you've only just gotten started. If I can do it than you sure as hell can do it. And I know that doesn't mean anything to you most likely. But just trust me. :)

[iloveelvisss]

In Came Sunnie

Summary: Based heavily on Girl of my best friend. Cassandra Barlowe, budding film star, gets her breakout role in Kissin’ Cousins. Playing the youngest of the Tatum girls, her character’s name is Sunnie. Elvis takes an IMMEDIATE liking to her, and upon introducing her to his intimate inner circle, she becomes extremely close to one Jerry Schilling. Can Elvis knock his own feelings for the sake of his best friend’s happiness?

Ranges from 1964 and onward.

Pairing: Elvis Presley x female OC- Cassandra (Sunnie) Barlowe

18+ so minors dni

Chapter 1: In Came Sunnie

Warnings/Triggers: mentions of sex, cussing, references to a slight foot fetish?? If you see anymore, lmk!!

*****************************************************

Cassandra Schilling. Elvis hated how it sounded. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it out loud, in fear of quite literally making himself gag. If he would’ve known that this would be the outcome, he would’ve never invited her to the Perugia Way house after filming wrapped.

He thought it would be like any other time he’d brought home a costar. They’d hang off him and reserve their attention for only him. But fuck if Cassandra was just the opposite. She’d almost immediately branched off from him to socialize from the second she’d entered the home. And by the end of it all, she was perched comfortably right beside Jerry. And damn it all if Elvis couldn’t bring himself to intervene. Jerry had been so lonely lately, and was finding it hard to find a girl who’d talk to him for the soul purpose of, well, talking to him. They’d always used him to get to Elvis. But Cassandra was different, she seemed genuinely interested in Jerry, and Elvis just didn’t find it right to take that smile from his friend’s face.

And now here Elvis was, holding himself together miraculously as he stared at the newly placed engagement ring on Cassandra’s finger. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear the guys hollering over Jerry and congratulating him for finally finding the balls to propose, but he just couldn’t break away from his deafening thoughts. Why the hell was he so stuck on this? He’d only wanted to sleep with Cassandra when he made the choice to bring her over that night, so why was he so physically ill over her being engaged to his best friend?

“EP! Ya good?”

Elvis looked up to find Charlie standing over him, a look of concern on his face.

“Yeah, man. Where’s ol’ Jerry boy at?”

*

She was gorgeous. Her smile was something out of this world. Elvis had the single thought that her character’s name matched her extremely well. She looked like sunshine.

It was strange— the stirring in his stomach. He’d only felt anything of the sort when he’d met Priscilla, but even then, it really wasn’t this prominent. Elvis had the most intense want— no need— to fuck Cassandra Barlowe silly.

And the rest of filming went in the same fashion. Elvis undressing her with his eyes, and to his knowledge, her not having a clue. She was just sweet, laidback and happy to do whatever entailed the most adventure.

“I think ‘m gon’ call ya Sunnie,” Elvis stared at her as they were supposed to be going over some lines together. She was splayed perfectly against the porch set of the Tatum’s cabin, giving him an amazing view of her legs— and not to mention her cute little sooties. Such perfect sooties, he thought to himself.

She gives him a small smile, “what? Like my character?”

Elvis nods. “Mhm. I think it suits ya, plus I give nicknames to a lot of my friends.”

“And I’m your friend?”

“Yes. Well, I- I- if ya wanna be,” He nervously scratches the back of his neck, a habit he’s had all his life.

Sunnie just smiles, and Elvis notices how her eyes sparkle when she does so. And then he remembers something. “Ah, shit.”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

He looks away, suddenly finding the fake water well very interesting, “One o’ my pal’s name is Sonny. Can’t exactly be callin’ ya that, I don’t really wanna think ‘bout him when ‘m talkin’ to ya.”

Sunnie looks up at him again, quite obviously holding back a giggle. And Elvis feels the corner of his mouth quirking up at her expression.

“I don’t mind. Just so long as you specify that I’m the better Sunnie.”

Elvis finds himself grinning for what felt like the hundredth time in the span of ten minutes. He sticks his hand out for her to shake, “Deal.”

*

After congratulating Jerry and giving him one of his many cigarillos, Elvis finds himself trying to quietly slip away to his bedroom. He didn’t want to celebrate the impending union of the girl he planned on making his in a way and one of his best friends. He’d much rather just down his drug cocktail and will sleep to take him.

But he stops short. A voice, the voice he really didn’t want to hear tonight rings out softly behind him as he climbs the stairs in the kitchen.

“Elvis?”

There she was, all glorious sunshine and hairspray. His Sunnie. Damn her and her ability to make him soften the second he sees her sweet face. “Hi there, Sunnie. Whatcha doin’ in here?”

“You know, I could ask you the same thing. Did ya not like the party? I- I could ask Jerry to move the party somewhere else…”

Elvis shakes his head, his eyes crinkling as he gives her a soft smile, “No, ‘m jus’ fine. Jus’ gon’ head on up to bed. That alright?”

Sunnie returns the smile. And in the dim lighting of the stairwell, Elvis thinks he sees her eyes flash. But in a split second it’s gone and she exudes that golden shine she’s known for. “Of course. Thank you for letting us use Graceland for this. Good night,” and with that, she turns and leaves him where she found him.

He finishes his journey upstairs and collapses on his bed, and he’s still in this position an hour later when he decides maybe it’s time he give that little girl he met in Germany her very own diamond ring. The Colonel and Cilla’s parents had been enforcing the idea for months anyways, and maybe in doing so, he could finally get that sunshine smile out of his head.

*****************************************************

Very short first chapter because I really just want to know if anyone would even read this if I kept writing it. But I already love my sweet Sunnie girl, so if this at all caught your eye, PLEASE lmk!! Enjoy, much love😙.

Tags: @queenstarlight @jhoneybees @atleastpleasetelephone (lmk if you wanna be added)

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Do you think the people could have won the Sunshot Campaign against the Wens without Wei Wuxian's ghost cultivation?

I have seen many fics with this idea, saying how what Wei Wuxian did was unnecessary, but I feel like those fics tend to depict Wei Wuxian as the "self-sacrificing" idiot which I loathe so much.

I feel like they would have lost imo. Not saying Lan Wangji, Nie Mingjue, and Lan Xichen are weak, but there's only so much they can do against an entire behemoth like the Wens. Not to mention the amount of territory they have lost to the Wens. What they lacked were numbers, and Wei Wuxian's cultivation quickly fixed that problem.

(So, I'm going to disclaimer this that this is probably going to be a heavily unpopular opinion and hey fair, but this is just what I came away with):

I think fandom makes Wei Wuxian a power fantasy trip in fics that just aren't to a realistic standard that we are shown by proxy of the plot we are given, Wei Wuxian's own character and thematics.

What won the war was dirty tricks. Wei Wuxian only provided very tentative sustainability and was able to recover one of the Jianghu's limbs that was ready to fall off (Yunmeng Jiang). Yunmeng Jiang had barely any man power behind it after Lotus Pier was taken hostage, aside from Wei Wuxian's control of fallen Wen soldiers they fought and Yunmeng Jiang survivors not present at the massacre. He was constrained to Jiang Cheng's side via duty of being his right hand and there is no reason tor him to not be with Yunmeng Jiang war efforts. Which means his usage of jiangshi was to the exclusivity of Yunmeng Jiang battles.

He was not a leader and Jiang Cheng certainly wasn't going to throw what was his best asset into the thick of it when they had the chance to make the clan survive. As you said, Wei Wuxian is not self sacrificial and he explicitly says this as well in the original draft of the novel during the Guanyin Confession.

Wei Wuxian did not have the time to make a mass army of corpses. That would have taken years upon years with him the one alone even trying to do that. Remember the anti Wei Wuxian talk point of: He's using Grandma's dead body, but he certainly wasn't about to make jiangshi out of their own allies as that would have been out of character for him, and grounded fodder for clans to use against him even sooner than when he protected the Wen Remnants. He was also accused of this plan by the Jins and Jin Guangyao is the one to actually amass an army of hundreds of jiangshi over thirteen years to attack the other clans during the second seige for the damage needed to be an immediate threat.

Wei Wuxian did not have the actual resources to even think or want to do that as that takes a very cruel mind to come up with a plan like that. He also did what he set out to do, which was take the seat of Yunmeng Jiang back for Jiang Cheng by killing the ones that took it in the first place. Wei Wuxian was not what turned the tide of the war or what ended it. Even with him making Wen soldier Jiangshi in his own battles, it would still have been chipping at a mountain with all the other ground the Wens had. There were three other sects that Wei Wuxian did not have a duty to and were also struggling to maintain their own. Nie Mingjue did claim Bujing Shi by his own clan mettle to consolidate the other clans into something more organized. Even with Wei Wuxian the war was still in the thick of the clans not having the better hand regardless, just surviving.

What upheavals the war was Jin Guangyao ingratiating himself to Wen Ruohan (Who ironically elevated Wen Zhuliu as well as a prominent soldier despite both being commoners) and was named a torturer. Due to Jin Guangyao being able to get that close to Wen Ruohan, into his inner palace he was literally able to cut off the head of the war maker. But again, it takes a very cruel mind to have the tenacity to plan that out, manipulate, kill allies to be able to have the chance to do that. Jin Guangyao also coveted prestige and power something Wei Wuxian did not ever show interest in.

[maxdibert]

I hate the excuse "Snape was only bullied bc he was into the dark arts and believed in blood purity" Nah man, most of the "hot" popular guys in my HS were racist as shit and watched liveleak execution videos on their phones in class and they sure as fuck didnt get bullied for being massive pieces of shit (or in any official trouble, "we cant do anything if you have no proof", fucking hell), but do you know who did get bullied and in trouble? The quiet "ugly" kids who were into innocuous stuff like anime or emo fashion and just wanted to be left alone. Getting bullied every day for no reason other than existing, and then getting punished when you finally break and lash out at the bullies once, while they get away with years of constant attacks on you and your friends.

I love Snape, because I see myself in him. Liking him tricked me into realising I didn't deserve what happened to me. I love all the people who stick up for his character, you're kind and understanding.

Love your blog, I've been going through reading all your posts and I couldn't help messaging, you write so well and it made me emotional. I hope you are well and have a wonderful day ❤️

That's a shitty excuse.

First, because canon doesn’t support it. Canon makes it very clear that James was the one who started the whole conflict. James, without anyone saying anything to him, approached Severus and mocked him for the first time on the Hogwarts Express during their first year. At that point, Severus hadn’t said anything about liking the Dark Arts, and James wasn’t born a Legilimens to magically know it. He simply thought he could butt into a conversation and make a shitty comment, and that was it. Canon also clearly establishes that when James stripped Severus in front of the whole school, it was because Sirius was bored, and his way of having fun was to corner “Snivellus” and publicly humiliate him. At no point are the Dark Arts mentioned. At no point is his association with Slytherins mentioned. The only one who brings it up is Lily, not James. This makes it very clear that James’s motive wasn’t ideological—he just enjoyed tormenting Severus because he liked having someone to take it out on. That’s it.

And second, that’s still not an excuse to torment someone in a position of inferiority. I’ve met plenty of people with garbage mindsets throughout my life, and I’ve never beaten them up for it—unless we were at a protest and they started getting violent. I have friends who were very popular in school, with leftist and combative mentalities, and it never crossed their minds to go after a marginalized kid, no matter how shitty their beliefs were, and publicly humiliate them. It’s ridiculous. Social justice isn’t about being a rich, spoiled brat abusing your social and economic power to pretend you care about people’s rights by using violence against someone who clearly can’t defend themselves or doesn’t have the same opportunities and tools you do. Social justice is about real actions with real impacts on society. So even if James’s excuse had been that—which it wasn’t—it would still have been just as wrong. And if anyone thinks otherwise, they’re either sociopaths or literal children who still don’t have hair on their legs and have no clue how the world works.

I wasn’t bullied in school, but I have met plenty of James Potter types throughout my life, and they’ve always disgusted me. White men, with money and resources, who think they can do and say whatever they want and treat people however they please. The ones who make “jokes” that aren’t jokes, the ones whose jokes have repulsive undertones. Guys I absolutely would punch in the face. Guys I’ve had to deal with all my life because, at the end of the day, they’re just gutless bags of shit.

Thanks for reading my blog. I’m glad it made you feel good. Big hug <3

[tanjamikaelson]

BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER - CHAPTER 33

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 33: | POGUELANDIA |

warnings: miscarriage The boat gently bobbed as it arrived at the deserted island, its quiet shores welcoming you all in your exhausted state. Everyone piled out of the boat, feet sinking into the soft sand as you all searched for a place to sit and regroup.

“Come on, boys.” John B grunted as he and the others worked to pull the boat ashore. “That’s good.”

"Good job, guys," Sarah called out from where she perched on the rocks, watching everyone settle.

You took a seat, your mind still spinning from everything that had happened. You glanced at the unfamiliar girl, remembering the tension back in the Bahamas. "You’re that girl who held a knife to my throat in the Bahamas,” you blurted, looking at Cleo.

Cleo gave a small, apologetic smile. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

Before you could dwell on it, JJ piped up, “Okay, anybody know where we’re at?”

"Deserted beach. Unknown island," John B answered vaguely.

"All right, I’ll take that as a no." JJ sighed, letting out a huff of frustration. “Plan A, huh, Pope? That went well.”

"This is the lowest we can go,” Pope ranted, frustration seeping into every word. “We literally have nothing else to lose. The cross? Gone."

"The gold?" Sarah added, her voice full of defeat. “Gone.”

"Seriously, if we had a nickel for every time we got beat up, I’d say we’re at a dollar fifty," JJ joked, trying to cut through the gloom.

"That’s more than I got on me," Kiara muttered, her voice matching the weary mood.

"That somehow doesn’t make me feel better," Sarah commented, leaning her head against you. The weight of her touch was both comforting and heavy, a reminder that you were all in this together, whether you liked it or not.

"Yeah, you’re right," John B conceded, but he wasn’t willing to let the group sink into despair just yet. “But, I mean, we’ve had some good stuff happen, right?”

Pope wasn’t buying it. “Name something.”

John B paused, then with a shrug, said, “Um… uh, the boiler room. If the boiler didn’t explode, I wouldn’t have gotten away from Rafe. I couldn’t have grabbed the Zodiac and gotten us out of there.”

“That wasn’t luck,” Cleo interrupted, smiling a little. “That thing was gonna blow the second I stopped feeding it.”

John B muttered, “Stealing my thunder, Cleo.”

“Sorry,” Cleo smirked.

John B wasn't giving up. “Pope, you’re related to Denmark Tanny. That’s crazy.”

“And I lost all his inheritance,” Pope shot back, his voice tight with frustration.

John B tried again, his determination unwavering. “You know what? Guys, this is it. This is the Pogue life.”

He jumped up, facing all of you, the wind ruffling his hair. “We are in the Caribbean, our own little slice of paradise, with my best friends, my family. I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else.”

He was really trying, and despite everything, you couldn’t help but admire that.

“Look, and while you guys were complaining about every little thing… JJ?”

“Hm?” JJ looked up.

“I was checking out those burly lefts,” John B pointed toward the waves.

JJ’s face lit up. “There’s some slabs out there,” he nodded.

"Just a few," John B grinned.

“Too bad there aren’t any boards,” Kiara said, though her voice lacked the fight she usually had.

“We could bodysurf till we make some boards,” John B suggested.

“Lame,” Kiara smiled faintly.

“Pope? Come on, man,” John B pleaded.

Pope sighed. “They do look pretty tasty.”

“Oh yes, they do,” John B agreed.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at their back-and-forth. For a moment, it felt like you could breathe again.

“There’s nobody around,” Pope finally said, loosening up a bit. “We could squat here for a bit. Kind of belongs to us now, huh?”

"You got a point," John B said, doing the Pogue handshake with Pope.

“Six-way split?” Pope joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Poguelandia,” JJ suddenly piped up in a posh accent. “I claim thee Poguelandia.”

“Oh boy,” John B muttered, smiling despite himself.

“I like the ring of it. I’m gonna make a flag,” JJ continued enthusiastically. “It’s gonna have a chicken on it, with a coconut bra, smoking a J… in Crocs.”

Laughter bubbled from you, Sarah, and the girls. For a brief moment, it felt like everything was okay again.

"I could use a J," Kiara commented, her voice playful.

"Me too," you added, your grin widening as Sarah leaned more into you.

"Can we vote on this flag?" Sarah questioned.

"Absolutely not," JJ declared, making you laugh even harder.

John B approached Sarah with a soft smile. “Till death do us part?”

“Till death do us part,” Sarah echoed, warmth returning to her eyes as she held his gaze.

“Welcome back to the Pogue life,” John B grinned, pulling her up.

“Full Pogue,” Sarah said, a genuine smile tugging at her lips.

John B repeated her words, his voice lighter than it had been in days. “Full Pogue.”

“Going full Pogue,” JJ added, grabbing Kiara’s hand.

“To going full Pogue,” Kiara smiled, looking up at JJ.

The two couples began walking down the beach, their voices mingling with the sound of the waves. You, Pope, and Cleo followed behind them, your heart lighter for the first time in what felt like forever. In moments like this, surrounded by the Pogues’ laughter and warmth, it was easy to forget the weight of everything else—the danger, Rafe, the uncertainty of your future, and the life growing inside you. But deep down, you knew the peace wouldn’t last long.

•°•°•°•°•°•

Over the course of a few weeks, life on the island began to settle into a rhythm. The days were filled with makeshift adventures—exploring, swimming, talking about anything but the pain that lingered just beneath the surface. You and Kiara had grown closer again, your friendship finding its footing after the chaos that had kept you apart. It felt good, the two of you laughing together like you used to. Cleo, too, had become a steady presence in your life, her straightforward attitude balancing out the emotional waves you sometimes felt crashing over you. She had this way of making you feel like everything could be handled, no matter how big or small.

But beneath the surface of it all, you were struggling. You hadn’t told anyone about your pregnancy at first—not about the confusion, the fear, the questions that had plagued you since the moment you suspected it. And then the reality of it came crashing down in the most heartbreaking way possible.

The miscarriage happened quietly, almost as if your body had been holding its breath for too long, waiting for everything to catch up. You were alone when it started, sitting by the water one afternoon, letting the sun warm your skin. At first, you didn’t even recognize the small cramps that started in your abdomen, dismissing them as nothing more than the stress of everything piling up. But then the pain intensified, waves of it crashing through you until you realized something was horribly wrong.

You managed to make your way back to the group, but by the time you reached the others, you knew deep down what was happening. The look in Sarah’s eyes when she saw you doubled over in pain told you that she knew, too.

“Oh my God, Y/N,” Sarah rushed to your side, grabbing hold of you, her voice filled with worry.

“I think—” you managed to say through the pain, your hand clutching your stomach.

The words barely left your lips before the world around you blurred. Sarah, Kie, and Cleo were instantly by your side, guiding you to a shaded spot under the trees. Their presence was a comfort, even though there wasn’t anything they could do to stop what was happening.

You hated that it had to happen here, on this deserted island, far from the help and care you might’ve gotten back home. But in a way, you were grateful for the girls who stayed with you. Sarah, more than anyone, understood the weight of what you were feeling. She never left your side for a second, her arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders as you curled up on the ground, trying to ride out the pain.

“I’m so sorry,” Sarah whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Her words broke something inside you. She was always like a sister to you, always the one to be there when things fell apart. You leaned into her, letting her hold you as you cried, the tears falling silently at first, then turning into sobs that wracked your entire body. The pain wasn’t just physical—it was deeper than that, a loss that clawed at your heart, leaving you feeling hollow.

Kiara knelt beside you, her hand on your arm, offering quiet support. Cleo stayed nearby too, her presence a silent promise that you weren’t alone in this, that even though they couldn’t understand the depths of your pain, they were here for you. The girls surrounded you like a protective barrier, shielding you from the world for just a little while longer.

The days that followed were difficult, a mix of sadness, confusion, and a strange, hollow acceptance. At first, it was hard to wrap your mind around everything that had happened. You had never planned for this pregnancy, and deep down, you knew that if you had been able to reach a doctor in time, you would have chosen to end it. But now, that choice had been taken from you, and though the weight of that loss felt suffocating at times, you began to find a strange sense of peace.

Sarah stayed close, checking on you constantly, making sure you ate, that you drank enough water. She didn’t push you to talk, she just sat with you, her presence enough to keep you grounded when you felt like the world was slipping out from under your feet.

With Sarah, Kie, and Cleo by your side, you slowly started returning to some version of normality. It wasn’t like you woke up one day and everything was fine; it was a gradual process. The pain and grief lingered, but each day it became just a little bit easier to breathe.

In the following days, you allowed yourself to let go of the guilt that had been eating away at you. The miscarriage, while painful, wasn’t something you had wanted to prevent. You had made peace with the fact that had circumstances been different, you would have chosen to end the pregnancy anyway. That realization, while difficult to accept at first, became a source of strength for you.

You spent more time with Kie and Cleo, their laughter and lightheartedness helping you forget the heaviness of the past few weeks. Kie, always full of energy and optimism, pulled you back into the things that made you feel like yourself again—exploring the island, swimming in the crystal-clear waters, and talking late into the night about anything and everything. Cleo’s tough-love attitude was refreshing too, grounding you in the reality that life, no matter how difficult, always moves forward.

One evening, you sat with Kie and Cleo around a small fire you had made on the beach. The sky was a deep indigo, scattered with stars, and the sound of the ocean was a constant hum in the background.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that,” Cleo said, her voice steady but full of empathy.

You looked at her and nodded, appreciating her directness. “Yeah, me too. But... I think I’m okay now. It was just... something I needed to accept.”

Kie leaned in, her eyes soft with understanding. “You’re stronger than you know. We’re proud of you, you know that, right?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Thanks. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys.”

“Hey, we’re family now,” Cleo said, a smirk on her face. “Pogues for life, right?”

You laughed softly, nodding. “Pogues for life.”

It wasn’t just words anymore; it was a reality. The bond you had with these girls, especially Sarah, had deepened in a way that would last forever. They had been there for you when you had needed them most, and you knew that no matter what happened next, you could face it.

That night, as you lay under the stars with Sarah beside you, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. The ache of loss was still there, but it no longer weighed you down. You had come to terms with it, accepting that some things were beyond your control, and that was okay.

The island had become a place of healing for you—a place where you could let go of the past and embrace whatever came next. And though the future was uncertain, you felt ready to face it. One day at a time, you were finding your way back to yourself.

TAGS: @wearemadeofstardust0 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @thepopcultureaddict @deeznuggetsbebussin @wtfdudesblog @davinashifts333@pvyden

[11queensupreme11]

Hey queeennn ply so I got some of the playlists ready if you have any song recommendations PLEASE TELL ME, I feel like you would do this so much better. Anyways here’s some of the linksss

Cu - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/706gdnneATbddTPJ558tQh?si=kUMaP3gLQMOeL4Qo_4OyvQ&pt=c64013dd69af1f7de287d6f953004a3d&pi=wd5CQYLORl25c

Apollo - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0rhu0jhVd744BrvZu1rRLY?si=PnwUFI6yRJ-M0C_cL5l1Dg&pi=E_OPaw3cTTmUQ&pt=03f88ac8d5552dbc6ddfff0ad4c26e2d

Hades - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6bELvVAD9xWEkhSMjIUYpI?si=Y7XnERy6RJ60sutcqqyy_g&pt=c6bf84f2284b5de3ff3c7150f3551c9b&pi=8K_VPJY9T_SsC

Beelie - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6NRCJtseLIetBLpk6NVj2S?si=yMDwPpbGT5e0BSalE5c8ag&pi=zjxlH_3gSCizz&pt=e3e9160511823221f1a637e069aae1c0

Loki - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4MADWTcmIwBqkNmXzQFVrg?si=8jnnciiHS3C-u6YSkhqaVA&pt=5385fa6ebde2f7cb8630af06811ed39f&pi=SrHivt1HTXq29

Poseidon - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6gsRBRWWZE7quSaJatJcyB?si=bMMIUvclSfeXeCXeb1qmEg&pi=SI_j5pu3S9Cfn&pt=37ff4b721836397553e7a480636efe75

Anubis - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/44eRgvQvQpRcGtehAtxLKr?si=tg7fZ8RXTyGgmKdBAWqdPw&pt=74c1c2d371b22bc3ce7a62790d0b0c65&pi=9CKfaeHgTza5u

I’m planning on adding more!! But I hope you like what I added! And I Can’t wait for the next update see you later queen

I LOVE THESE SOOOOO MUCH, YOU'RE SO GOOD AT FINDING SONGS 😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

ok ok ok ok I GOT MORE RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU! i have no idea if they're in spotify so i'm sorry for that whoops!

(this got long btw, i just like songs okay??? 😭😭😭)

for EVERYONE:

-- labour (the cacophony) from paris paloma!!!!!!!!!

-- that's so true by gracie abrams

-- anthems for a seventeen year old girl by yeule

-- sailor song by gigi perez

-- destroy me by mr. kitty

-- runrunrun by dutch melrose

-- habits by mr. kitty

-- queen of kings by alessandra

-- what is love by haddaway (yes this is the song that percabeth listened to during the thrill ride o love in the tv show lmao)

-- sacrifice by the weeknd

-- trash the rental by sohodolls (crystal castles remix)

-- ptolemaea by ethel cain. literally the whole song is PERFECT for all the yans

-- everybody knows by sigrid

-- cupid by hurts

-- soaked by shy smith LMAO

-- closer by nine inch nails

-- water by black dresses

-- therapy by voila

-- let the world burn by chris grey

-- ecstacy by suicidal idol

-- counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums by a perfect circle

-- cannibal by kesha

-- body by mother mother

-- nowhere to run by stegosaurus rex

cú chulainn: ALL THE CHEATING SONGS HERE LMAO I LOVE THEM. AND CELL BLOCK TANGO???? CHICAGO IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE/MUSICAL EVER TYSM 😭💖💖💖💖💖

-- it's ok i'm okay by tate mcrae. the lyrics "It's okay, I'm okay, had him in the first place/ ...You can have him anyway" resonate so well for them 😭😭😭😭

-- breezeblocks by alt j. "she may contain the urge to run away but hold her down/ ... Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so" very very "cú chulainn trying to get percy back" core

-- want you back by 5 seconds of summer

-- send my love (to your new lover) by adele

-- new woman by lisa

-- i like the way you kiss me by artemas. "I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me" screams percy letting cú chulainn hit it but giving him the cold shoulder afterwards LMAO

-- seven by rain paris (cover of jungkook's song)

-- the boy who murdered love by diana vickers

-- kiss and make up by blackpink ft dua lipa

-- that girl by olly murs

-- hot n cold by katy perry

-- 7 things by miley cyrus

-- pray by bebe rexha. cú chulainn to percy lol

-- bite me by avril lavigne

-- dream diver by mr. kitty

-- stay by justin bieber and the kid laroi

-- just one yesterday by fall out boy

-- karma by brit smith

beelzebub:

-- astronaut by amanda palmer

-- fire up the night by new medicine

-- hostage by billie eilish. "and let me crawl inside your veins i'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain" painfully beelcy core

-- nothing by emilie autumn. basically it's a song about a dude being in denial just like beel was at the start 😭

-- devil devil by milck

-- devil's lullaby by jim yosef

-- the devil doesn't bargain by alec benjamin

-- hate me by nico collins

-- killing butterflies by lewis blissett

-- match made in hell by dutch melsrose and benny mayne

loki:

-- afu by cal. it's basically about loki going crazy over her lmao

-- cha cha cha by käärijä

-- saccharine by jazmin. "the thought of caring for anyone makes me want to scream/ ... looking at you makes me wanna gouge out my eyes" very very loki core 💀

-- can't catch me now by olivia rodrigo

-- killing spree by o'brother

-- sick thoughts by lewis blissett

hades:

-- big god by florence & the machine

-- pomegranate seeds by julian moon. literally in the title 😭😭 he used those to try and trap her FOREVER

-- waiting game by banks

-- christmas kids by roar. it's a happy song but the lyrics can be creepy and that alone screams hades to me 😭

-- sirens by fleurie

poseidon: I LOVE HOW YOU PUT THE POSEIDON SONGS FROM EPIC THE MUSICAL!!!!!

-- don't let daddy kiss me by motörhead. the title pretty much says it all 💀

-- magdelena by frank zappa. ""magdalena! ...please, little girl... walk back to your daddy... what did i do that was so wrong?" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

-- lemon incest by serge gainsbourg. again, the title 😭😭😭 i have no idea if they would be in spotify cuz of this 😭

-- bottom of the deep blue sea by missio

-- under the water by aurora

apollo:

-- i want you to want me by chase holfelder

-- sky full of song by florence & the machine. "hold me down, i'm so tired now aim your arrow at the sky"

-- mausoleum by rafferty

anubis: i love how he has the most happiest songs out of the playlists LMAO 😭💖💖

-- boyfriend by alphabeat

-- love again by dua lipa

-- levitating by dua lipa

-- physical by dua lipa

-- lock me up by the cab

-- one way or another by blondie. honestly, it could fit with all the yans, but i picked anubis specifically cuz the amount of repetitions reminded me of him 😅

-- happy together by filter

-- tutu by camillo

-- animals by maroon 5. "Maybe you think that you can hide / I can smell your scent for miles / Just like animals" come on, it's PERFECT for him lol

(i got tired LMAO sorry)

[faultedloyalty]

✿

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends ( see other )  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other : [ my muse ] is the fake friend, [ your muse ] considers it real ; [ my muse ] comes to enjoy the company [ your muse ] brings

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other ; [ my muse ] comes to see [ your muse ] as a trophy child*

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous [ my muse to yours ] to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other 

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[mirrortouchedsea]

(CW for Suicidal Ideation)

Hinata’s breath was heavy as he landed the final move of their act. The tinny music playing from their speakers went quiet and the audience clapped politely. It was always the same song and dance as the crowd moved on with their day. A few of them tossed some yen their way but otherwise it was time for them to regroup for their next performance. Yuta knelt down by the hat with some coins and bills sticking out of it, counting their earnings thus far. 

“Hey aniki! We might be able to eat well tonight! There’s like 3,000 yen in here!” Yuta exclaimed. The idea of a filling dinner made Hinata’s mouth water. Oh what he wouldn’t do for even warm noodles not from a cup. 

Hinata turned to grab the iPod from its place on the speaker, choosing the next song to play. He put the phone back and turned the volume up a little more to play over the evening rush. The music started and he and Yuta moved in unison around their little stage, taking in the crowd. There were some regulars that Hinata recognized, the businesswoman who was perpetually tired but always stopped for their performances and a few kids who looked up at them in awe as their parents were trying to usher them away. There were always new faces too, of course people traveled across the country all the time or took new trains or moved cities, but there was something different about the boy with the bright red hair at the back of the crowd. His sky blue eyes pierced straight through to Hinata’s heart and made him stumble when their gaze connected with his own. 

“Hey, aniki focus! We’re almost done, don't fail on me now!” Yuta whispered, carefully shielding Hinata from the crowd as he regained his footing. Yuta was always so quick thinking. Hinata got back to his position and finished up the routine, eyes looking for that boy he had spotted earlier. He half hoped the boy would come talk to them afterwards while they were packing up for the evening, but when he finally saw that shock of red hair, it was moving away with the rest of the crowd. 

Hinata sighed, disappointed. Maybe that boy would come back someday. There was something about him that drew Hinata in. 

Someone bumped his shoulder, drawing him from his thoughts. “Hey, aniki, are you alright? You seem out of it today.” Yuta’s hand rested on his shoulder and Hinata couldn’t help but smile. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around, the older brother checking in on the younger one? 

“Hey hey everything’s fine Yuta-kun, don’t worry about me. I was just thinking about that delicious dinner you’re treating us too~” He playfully pushed back on Yuta, the red haired blue eyed boy all but forgotten now. 

“Hey! It’s technically our money so I’m not treating you to anything!” Yuta scowled but the smile in his voice was obvious to Hinata. 

“Hehe, then dinner’s on me! Say ‘thank you aniki!’” 

--- 

It was a week before Hinata saw the red headed boy in their audience again. He had all but slipped his mind, but those striking blue eyes were impossible to forget. Yuta was introducing their next performance which allowed Hinata to take a better look at the older boy who had made his way to the middle of the audience. He was tall and what Hinata could see of his outfit seemed ill-fitting at best, along with a headband holding his hair away from his eyes. 

Hinata scrambled to his position as the music queued up and let his instincts take over. Every so often he found himself glancing at the red haired boy, trying to see what he thought of their performance, but his face revealed nothing. 

Why was he so focused on this one boy? It’s not like they didn’t have strangers who watched them sometimes, and none of them had caught Hinata’s attention quite like this boy. He really couldn’t be much older than Hinata, maybe 17 at the oldest. Was he an older brother too? The boy’s eyes made contact with Hinata’s and it took everything in him to not look away. 

Once again however, Yuta snapped him out of whatever trance he had been in and everything was forgotten. 

“Are you really okay aniki? You’ve been out of it a lot recently…” Oh how it pained Hinata to see the concern on Yuta’s face. Nothing was even really wrong per se, but Hinata was distracted nonetheless. 

“I’m fine, Yuta-kun. Geez, can’t your older brother have some peace?” His mouth ran faster than his brain and he immediately regretted it. Yuta’s face flipped through several emotions; hurt, confusion, exhaustion. It wasn’t like him to hide things from his brother, so why was he doing it now? “Whatever, let’s get some dinner. My treat~” 

“It’s our money!” 

--- 

The boy continued to make appearances at the twins’ performances on the street, becoming something of a regular but disappearing before Hinata could flag him down. Hinata wasn’t even sure what compelled him to want to talk to the older boy, but he wanted to say something. He had even noticed that the boy seemed happier and his clothes fit a little better, not like they were just the first thing he grabbed out of a donation pile. 

Finally, after almost a month of trying to say something to the boy, Hinata saw him walk up to their hat on the ground and drop a few coins into it. 

“Thank you!” He said, walking up to the boy. “Hope you enjoyed the performance!” 

The boy froze as if he wasn’t expecting to be greeted like that. There was a slight flush to his face. “I-it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. You uh…you were great?” The boy seemed unsure of how to reply, though Hinata was happy with the compliment nonetheless. Maybe… 

“What brings you here? I mean--agh, sorry! I just mean…I noticed you don’t have a regular schedule?” The words were practically falling out of his mouth and Hinata wasn’t really sure what they were doing. “Like you show up a few days in a row but then go three weeks without stopping by at all!” He was just digging a bigger grave for himself! Great! 

“Ah uhm…I’m not from around here.” The boy scratched at the back of his neck. Maybe Hinata should back off. 

“O-oh, yeah of course. Duh. Are you visiting family or something?” 

“Not quite. I really should get going though. See you…later?” 

“Yeah, see you later.” 

“Hey Aniki, are you coming or not? The food’s gonna get cold!” 

“Coming!” 

---

It was almost a month before the boy appeared again. In the time between, Hinata had come up with a million different ideas for what his life was like. Was he a delinquent who skipped school to hang out on the street with gangs (how scary! But he looked strong enough to fit in)? Or was he a runaway from a city far away, somewhere Hinata only dreamed of visiting like Okinawa? Maybe he had a bad relationship with his dad and ran away, a thought that Hinata hated to admit had crossed his mind more than once. Or maybe he just passed through the city on the way to somewhere else. That seemed to be the most likely option, especially if he couldn’t come very often. 

When the boy did finally show up again, Hinata had to hold himself back from practically jumping him after the performance. Something looked…different about him though. His eyes seemed more tired? Like he hadn’t been sleeping well. Hinata thought of a fight he had with his dad a few weeks ago that made it hard for him to sleep and thought maybe this boy was the same as him in that regard. 

Hinata decided to wave him down after the performance, hat in hand (they had done pretty well! It felt heavier than normal and even without counting everything, they’d probably have enough for breakfast too). 

“Hey! You look tired, are you--did you want to get something to eat?” Please say yes please say yes please say yes--

The boy’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. Did Hinata mess up? Oh he overstepped and now there really wasn’t any chance of getting to know him. Why was he so interested in talking to the boy anyway? Hinata had been asking himself that for a while now and he still had no answer. 

“I…I can’t. I need to go.” The boy turned and ran off before Hinata could ask more. He just kept messing up, didn’t he? Maybe he really was just a burden to Yuta and their dad and the restaurant owner. He shouldn’t have been born and Yuta would’ve been better off--

“Aniki! Sheesh, get your head out of the clouds. How much did we make?” Yuta grabbed the hat out of Hinata’s hand and quickly counted out the coins and bills. “Woah! We could eat a whole five course meal with this…” 

“Think with your head a little Yuta-kun. We’ve got breakfast paid for if we don’t blow it all tonight!” 

Yuta nodded before handing the hat back to Hinata. “So, my pick tonight?” 

--- 

Hinata signed the note, trying his best to keep the tears from dripping on it and smudging the ink. After his blunder with the red haired boy, he hadn’t shown up to their performances for over two months. Hinata was certain that he had messed up and was too forward. He didn’t even know the kid’s name! Why did he think the two of them could ever be friends? 

And on top of all of that, Yuta had become more and more distant from Hinata, as if Hinata just existing was dragging him back from his full potential. Yuta would have been better off as an only child and maybe Hinata deserved this life. Thirteen years living with their father, who had treated them as nothing but monsters, blaming them for their mother’s death and everything bad that had happened since, Hinata had resolved to run away. He’d make his way to the mountains and maybe he’d find someone willing to help him or maybe he’d slip into an endless sleep. 

Dear Yuta-kun, the letter had started. I’m sorry that I’m leaving like this, but I know that I’m just a burden to you. I’m sorry for that. I wish I had more to say but I just want you to be happy and maybe father will treat you better without me. I love you. 

The other letter, already folded and placed on the table, was much shorter, addressed to his father. 

Dear Father, I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better son. Please don’t take this out on Yuta-kun, it was my decision. 

The less words he spent on that man, the better. Hinata folded Yuta’s note and placed it on top before quietly exiting through the front door. 

---

Everything was cold. Hinata slumped against a tree, head between his knees in a last ditch effort to keep warm. Sleep should come soon and he could painlessly move on, at least that’s what he hoped. He barely registered someone approaching him, but didn’t look up. 

“Hey.” The voice was vaguely familiar, but where did he remember it from? A warm hand shook at Hinata’s shoulder. 

“‘M fine.” The words were barely a whisper. The other voice grunted before walking away. It was another minute before Hinata felt something drape around his shoulders and a cup shoved in his hand. Whatever was in it was steaming, warming his fingers. 

“Drink.” The voice said. And he did, the tea was very, very bitter. That voice… 

Hinata looked up, meeting a pair of bright, sky blue eyes. That’s where he recognized the voice from. Did he…live? In the mountains? The boy seemed to recognize him too. He was wearing a headband and what looked like very warm clothes that Hinata wished he had. Hinata finished the tea, trying not to focus on the flavor. It helped at least, in warming him up a bit. 

“Why are you here?” The boy finally spoke again. It sounded like he was unsure if he should be mad or concerned, or both, but he offered Hinata another cup of tea, which he accepted if only to warm his fingers up. He pulled the blanket closer around his body. 

“I…ran away.” Hinata looked downward, as if admitting this out loud was a cardinal sin. The boy gestured for him to continue. “I guess I just…I was dragging my brother down. I’m not really talented at anything like he is and I’m the reason our dad sees us as monsters. He shouldn’t have to deal with a brother like me.” Hinata wasn’t really sure why he was spilling this so easily. The boy was a good listener though, hanging on every word Hinata spoke. Was he shaking? He’d never admitted this out loud before and it felt oddly freeing to say it to someone. 

He waited for a response, anything to chase away the uncomfortable silence Hinata had created with his confession. He really fucked up, didn’t he. He should have just kept that to himself like he always did instead of burdening a stranger like this! 

“I…” The boy started, barely audible above Hinata’s racing heartbeat. “I’m glad you’re alive.” He sounded unsure of his words. Was he just trying to be nice? Of course he was, how else do you respond to a kid telling you something like this? 

“You don’t have to pretend.” 

“I’m not. When I saw you singing and dancing…I think I realized something--” The boy cut himself off, the suddenness of it making Hinata look up. A moment later he heard his brother calling out from the woods behind him. 

“Aniki! There you are!” Yuta tackled him to the ground, squeezing Hinata like he might just blow away in the wind if they weren’t careful. “You scared me! I can’t believe you’d do something like that!” 

Tears pricked at Hinata’s eyes again. “I’m sorry, Yuta-kun. I’m really sorry.” He buried his face in Yuta’s jacket. His nose started to run, from the cold or the tears he couldn’t tell. 

“You aren’t a burden to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you around Aniki!” Yuta pulled back, hands gripping Hinata’s shoulders. “Promise you won’t do something that stupid again.” 

Hinata wiped the tears from his eyes, sparing a glance where the boy had been. It was as if he had never been there at all and Hinata had just hallucinated the whole interaction. He looked back at his twin brother. “I promise.” 

“Now let's get you home and warmed up. Where’d you get this blanket anyway? It doesn’t look like one of ours.” 

“I…” The boy had been real, and he told Hinata he was glad he was alive (even if his explanation was cut short by Hinata’s brother rushing in). “I guess I just found it. There must be people living nearby or something.” 

--- 

The chatter of the night club died down for the night as everyone was getting ready to go home. Hinata’s feet were sore from running around, but it was satisfying to be back in a restaurant like this. It reminded him of his childhood working for the Chinese restaurant with Yuta. 

Rinne, the leader of Crazy:B who had wanted to get closer to Hinata, and by extension 2wink, slid a drink down the bar. It looked like a horrible mix of syrups and club soda, but one sip was all it took for Hinata to drink it all down. 

“Great job tonight Hina! You’re a real natural at this stuff.” Rinne was washing the other glasses behind the bar now as Hinata finished the rest of his soda. 

“Yuta-kun and I used to work in a restaurant so it comes pretty naturally to us!” 

“That so?” 

“Mhm!” Hinata slid the empty glass back to Rinne, who quickly dumped the ice and washed it before tossing the towel over his shoulder. The entire week they’d been working the club together, there had been something bugging Hinata at the back of his mind. “Hey, Rinne-senpai…did you ever watch our shows?” 

“Huh? ‘Course I have, vice prez wants us to work together so I’ve seen a few of ‘em.” 

“That’s not what I mean. I mean like…back when Yuta-kun and I did street performances.” 

Rinne paused for a moment. “Why’re you askin’?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. You just reminded me of someone who used to watch them.” 

“Well I’m sure whoever it was is proud to see you singin’ and dancin’ on stage.” Rinne had come around the bar and stood next to Hinata, ruffling his hair. “Let’s get goin’ or I’m never gonna hear the end of it from Niki-kun.”