#and the fact that i have to use the app to do some of the stuff because the website doesn't let me do everything
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thinking about pervy classmate heeseungie °â.àłàż*
- heâs so nasty n sensitive. heâll cum to your innocent pictures you upload to your instagram story. having a private photo album of pictures of you that you uploaded innocently not knowing heâs being a freak and jerking his pathetic cock to your pretty face.
- he often goes on dating apps only talking to girls who look exactly like you. begging them for sex, some girls block him immediately and others meet him late at night to fuck. they always walk into the cheap motel not expecting much from him, i mean heâs a loser begging girls for sex ? but fuck does he pound them into the mattress until they become brainless sluts.
- he has no shame. seeing you the next morning after pounding a girl deep into a brain-rotted state wishing so badly he could just take you instead.
- he takes secret photos of you. under the skirt pictures. you donât even suspect him. knowing nothing about him expect the fact that he takes the same train as you and that sometimes you guys have to be pressed up against each other. these soft situations is what drives heeseungie up the wall. jerking off to the perfume you use and the panty shots he took. seeing your delicate panties covering your soft tight pussy.
- his favorite porn ? it has to be japanese porn. the way the girls whine and cry, he loves how high pitched and loud and so so cute they sound. it what he imagines you sounding like. his hand moving faster around his cock as the poor girl starts to cry as she gets fucked and passed around. it drives him crazy wishing it was you crying on his cock.
â„ hanaâs note Ę ËÖŽ àŁȘ â i did read it back but honestly itâs 3am n i didnât wanna do to much⊠these are simple thoughts so itâs nothing fancy and itâs nothing interesting. goodnight ᶻ đ đ°
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Anonymous asked:
Hey rainbowsky I hope you are doing well love you account, I saw this on Twitter about wyb following an account on weibo that slanders xz and few other celebrities. I'm not on weibo personally and I was wondering if its true . Forgive my not so perfect grammar English ain't my first language
Hi, Anon. Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! âșïž
Your English is fine! It doesn't have to be perfect anyway, people. Even people who grew up with English as their first language sometimes struggle with how to express things. I'm not going to be grading anyone's messages. đ
Regarding this issue, I want to remind everyone that following and reading what antis say anywhere is never a good idea. Their only purpose in life is to hate, and you should just edit that all the way out of your life. Block, ignore, and report when appropriate.
For background, there are some haters out there claiming that he followed a moto account that is a notorious cyberbully who slanders many celebrities.
I happen to be very intimately aware of who DD follows on Weibo, because I did a comprehensive post about it a while back. I know all of the patterns of who he tends to follow and their relationship to him.
DD absolutely does not follow any fan accounts, and never has. He does not follow the account in question.
The claim is that he followed this person and then quickly unfollowed them. I think that anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that is obviously an accidental follow. We have all done it at some point in our lives (and for some reason it only seems to happen with accounts we absolutely would not want to be associated with!).
If you've ever used the Weibo app, the follow button is a few millimeters away from the phone's back button, and it would be easy to accidentally follow somebody when you meant to go back to the previous page. Especially if you have huge hands like his.
Why would he be looking at the page of an anti? Probably for the same reason you were, Anon. Everyone has a morbid human curiosity about anti material for some reason, and they spend entirely too much time looking at it.
It's possible that he saw a hate comment about his husband and he wanted to see if it was someone claiming to be his fan. It's possible he saw something said 'in his name' that he didn't agree with. It's possible somebody mentioned that account as potentially in the next crop of people being sued. We will never know.
What we do know is that if he ever did follow them (and screen caps can be faked very easily, so I'm not even sure that's true), he doesn't follow them now.
Edit: apparently the supposed DD account wasn't him, it was faked. All the more reason to ignore this kind of BS.
These are the kinds of things that people can waste time hand-wringing over, when they are absolutely inconsequential.
The reality is that the people angrily spreading this story about him are just as horrible as the person they are claiming he followed. That is the irony of all of this. They are the exact same sort of person. They say and do all of the same horrible things as that account does.
The other irony is that all of this is happening on xitter - a platform no decent human being should still be participating in.
Anyone still on there is participating in a Neo-Nazi platform, and further legitimizing and lining the pockets of the richest, most corrupt dirtbag on the planet, who is right now actively engaged in an illegal, racist, anti-queer, anti-disabled, anti-kindness, self-serving fascist dismantling of the US democratic systems of government. That should be more worrying to you than this ridiculous story.
The fact that there are so many high profile turtles who still participate there is an ongoing source of deep embarrassment and shame for the fandom.
Why not leave that hateful platform to the antis and move over to BlueSky, which has all of the features needed and none of the baggage? Most of those turtles already have a presence on there, they just don't actually use their accounts. They need to find the moral courage to lead everybody to greener pastures.
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#I know he's just making conversation but my work enemy does not have the right to ask me every day what I did last night#and what I'm doing tonight#like does a girl have any right to privacy around here?#I'm not accountable to you. also my answers are boring and the same. ate dinner and talked on the phone what do you want from me?????#also started teasing me for how often my answer has been ''go to the grocery store''#because apparently it's weird that I buy groceries and cook food????#and like we're kinda friends but also not through much choice of my own. in the fact that he stops by my desk most days to chat#but by that nature I am trapped here and have no power in when the conversation starts and ends#and am forced to answer whatever small talkâesque questions he dishes out because I have no social script for not doing that#occasionally I have drawn a line and been like ''I don't have to tell you that''#when he's asked me about things which might seem innocent but require context which I prefer not to get into as part of my worksona#I guess what's annoying is that he pushes past my attempts to deflect or dodge questions and just keeps pushing#like it's some kind of game even when I'm pointedly like ''I'm not going to tell you that''#and none of it is outside the realm of normal conversation on the surface but like. dude.#I don't have to tell you what dating apps I have used or the exact circumstance of how I met my boyfriend#or even what I did over the weekend if I don't want to!!!! And it's not a crime to ask those things#but it is a crime to keep asking when I deflect and also while standing at my desk and trapping me in the conversation#within earshot of the rest of the office!!#and the fact that he asks me follow up questions and follow up questions narrows the topics that I'm willing to get into with him#and it's like. I know he's just trying to be friends and for the most part is fun and nice to me#so it feels like there's no normal way I can be like 'dude. leave me alone.' without escalating inappropriately
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this is a test
#iâm bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatâs actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letâs think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iâm not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatâs a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnât all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereâs probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donât#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iâm actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itâs crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyâre all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatâs made everything a bit messy. i shouldâve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youâre being annoying i literally donât care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itâs just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donât really have any thoughts to put here idk if weâre halfway ermmmm omg itâs#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itâs wild how itâs basically almost christmas. like#what. thatâs illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnât crash or#smth cause iâve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iâve saved it and holy jesus itâs a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereâs really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnât that be crazy) so wait thereâs 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatâs 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenât done maths lessons in two and a half years iâve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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they say that there's a point where you can have too much security and it impedes the usability of a systemâhowever i'd like to commend online banking platforms for somehow simultaneously having security measures that make them incredibly inconvenient to use every day, whilst also offering fairly low actual security and being not particularly difficult to bypass if you're dedicated enough
#like none of the online banking platforms ive used have let me use an actual password?#nor do they let me set up 2fa with an authenticator app besides their own proprietary banking app#they all seem to send all verification codes by sms with the only way to authenticate otherwise is through their proprietary apps. which i#am not installing.#also perhaps this serves some purpose i dont understand but why do they frequently ask for the nth character of your pin or whatever#instead of asking for the whole pin?#like all the 'password' equivalents seem very easy to bruteforce and the sms verification can be bypassed by someone else just getting a#sim card for your number#and the fact that they never keep you logged in is annoying like i have full disk encryption on all my devices im not worried about someone#using my own device to access my bank account. i dont particularly think theres anyone trying to get into my bank account but if there were#they'd be getting in through their own device not mine... you can keep me logged in on mine...
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I should just clean my room and take bath or something
#that would help me feel better im sure i think#and maybe eat but i dont want to eat rn#snack time#uhh but i hate all the snacks there are#even the snacks in this house arent for me wow#and she knows i hate them too lol#and then she gets mad when i say theres nothing and says well you shouldve got some!! WITH WHAT MONEY. BRO OH MY GOD SHE MAKES ME WANNA PULL#all my teeth out i cannotytttttt#and its not like we go out she uses that stupid app and then cries about it costing more on the fucking apo like yeah no duh#i like going out too so idk why she blames me for this kind of thing#ohhhh we never go outttt. well yeah. i have no money for transportation or food. tf u want me to do#i dont even have a map. you wont recharge my goddamn phone#then you cry about wishing there was a man in this house like ok. maybe you should just help me out a little most of this shit i could do#what is your problem!!! die. well this is all discounting the fact of my social anxiety and language problem but like. i can push through#you make me do that all the time anyway so#whatever#i dont know anymore this just pisses me off#i wish i could burn this whole house down#or blow up this entire country yeah
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I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I don't have any followers in the Portland metro who would be interested in like, going to concerts and shit, right? Would save me some trouble
#i'm going to download some of the apps later cause i need more people to do things with#but i figured hey. might as well try using tumblr as a dating app first. i've had some moderately decent luck except for the fact people far#it doesn't have to just be concerts. basically looking for people to do stuff with that my partner isnt interested in#which is basically anything with a crowd lol#(bonus points if you want to make out too lmao. but that's not a requirement)#mike rambles#shitpost
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the way i wish my game was in english so i could do cute gameplay posts using its notifications etc. đ
#no way am i trying my luck and reinstalling the whole fucking game just to see if ea app asks me what language i wanna use#ppl dont get the popup at all and that would be the biggest waste of time given how heavy the game is#really wishing i changed my game language through origin back when it worked đ#because apparently you could do that then#but with the ea app? no such option#the fact that ts4 doesnt have an in-game option to change languages⊠iâm not even gonna comment on that lmao annoying shit!!!!!!!#text#i saw a workaround that requires changung some scripts but it was posted 9 years ago when the game was first introduced soooo#i have no trust for that#đ#if u have any experience with this issue pls tell me your solutions
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Instagram as a site sucks btw. I got one to follow bl actors and that app/site is terrible. I hate everything about it. I don't know how people survive over there.
#ITA Original#between the fact that i have to pick to just see the accounts i follow#and the fact that the only way to rewatch that video you accidently clicked away from is super complicated#and the fact that i have to use the app to do some of the stuff because the website doesn't let me do everything#i hate it#it just sucks#don't even get me started on a bad the app is#how do you guys live like this
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ngl i have issues with duolingo
#the service is just... not so good? i mean it's decent at getting started in a language; don't get me wrong#but... you're stuck quite fast#i feel like the courses aren't that good (i am doing the japanese and dutch one mainly)#I have issues over the fact that for those two classes; i have to use my 2nd language to learn the 3rd/4th#and it's not like french isn't big language - it is#and there are less than 10 courses french to something#the english centric/exclusivity (sort of) of a language learning app is weird#ALSO the fomo w/ the streak and the league is... frustrating...#like yes going back to the app regularly and practicing makes perfect#but? using that to keep customers to come back#weird ass#also the exp boosts are *annoying* like yeah great i have to keep going otherwise itd be a waste#urf#i need to do some translation practice over stuff on the interweb and not rely on that app to learn language
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the rly great thing abt having been a lil bit mentally fucked up since absolutely forever is that iâm very Used to my own tactics. panicking about whether thereâs a spider in the corner of my room and making myself check every 10 seconds (either that itâs still there or that it ISNâT there) so that they donât surround me in my sleep? ummm well just keep one of my mini lights on so every 10 seconds i can LIGHTLY look up and take a peek and if by chance it does happen to venture off itâll go towards the light? so obvious? btw iâm not scared of spiders im just crazy
#thereâs some post which is like. accommodations even if theyâre abnormal r ok. eg. woman thinks she constantly leaves the hair iron on#whenever she leaves the house so she takes it with her when she leaves!#and like okay sometimes that is just playing into compulsions. Like the fact that i still have to screenshot my notes app every single night#or i get convinced my writings gonna disappear and have been doing this for literally 4 years straight#BUT at the same time this little small compulsion stops me from doing the sort of crazy shit i used to do when i was like 12 so! really!#Yh now that i think abt it idk abt this take#but i get byđ#oliver talks
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Since weavechat is gonna let you change images for existing buttons now... i wonder how well the arasaac symbols will translate at my current grid size?
Ever since i made the font size larger a lot of words are cut off, but figuring out how to set up a smaller grid size the way i like it is really hard. And i prefer text-only buttons, but like... being able to read what it even is is also important. (I keep hitting "because" thinking it's "be", for example.)
Also, i just like arasaac's symbol set in general. The stick figures are aesthetically pleasing in a way; idk how else to explain it.
Weavechat's default library is fine, but for me personally (can only access it on my phone) they tend to be hard to parse + add a lot of visual clutter.
So we'll see!
#100% ŃĐ”ĐșŃĐ”ŃĐœŃĐč ĐŽĐœĐ”ĐČĐœĐžĐș лДĐČŃ ĐРЧĐĐąĐĐ#there seems to be a kind of irony in that a post about aac (which i use to write posts/journal occasionally) is not written WITH aac but...#having gotten to the end of the post i now realize i could just. add a symbol to a custom button to see#lol...#anyways ya i think weavechat is really really cool with the things theyre doing + languages theyre adding#love of my life icelandic............ if only i knew how to speak it#i do wonder if/how they're going to handle the fact that differenr languages have different word frequencies and alphabet orders and such#make new boards? leave it up to whoever's in charge of setting up the board for the user? hmmm.#ltr + rtl languages too... very interesting problem#the real thing i want to have in weavechat is a fullscreen message window like some other apps do#so that i don't have to keep copy/pasting into speech assisstant when i wanna talk in tha library#(or elsewhere the library is just where i use it irl the most LOL)
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infect me with your love
pairing âžș spiderman!gojo x reader
summary âžș you have always existed in gojo satoruâs shadow. he is a physics prodigy, a person that everyone endlessly admires for his intelligence and charisma, and you hate him for taking the spotlight that you deserve to share with him. but it all changes one day at 5:07AM at your starbucks job when gojo barges in, ordering ridiculously sweet drinks and posing existential questions. is there more to gojo that meets the eye, and is it linked to the vigilante swinging around New York City?
warnings âžș college au, academic rivals to lovers, SMUT, tooth rotting fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, basically the holy trinity, reader works at Starbucks (BOYCOTT tho), set in NYC, both reader and gojo are physics majors, mentions of SA, attempt at SA on reader but nothing too graphic, some violence, gojo swings reader across NYC so might trigger fear of heights?. SPIDER-MAN KISS SPIDERMAN KISS, injury and mentions of blood, mentions of gun, inappropriate use of webs LOL, fingering, oral, p in v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied
playlist âžș quantum rizzics
a/n thank you for @avaults my POOKIE for beta reading this. this has been a journey and my first longfic and i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i did writing it it's my baby:')
if u donât wanna read the smut just skip the part after they make up, itâs not necessary to the story and is the ending scene. but just to be clear, minors dni.
kinktober masterlist | general masterlist | spiderman!gojo masterlist
fun fact: starbucks opens at 5am.
of course, that depends on your local hours and where you live, but in the campus starbucks you worked at, your manager fortunately didnât really care if you showed up to your opening shift a bit late. after all, no professor or undergrad is waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get a fuckin coffee; if they really needed a pick me up, theyâd go to get the free alcohol at one of the frats that was still partying.Â
matter of fact, your manager didnât really give a fuck what you did as long as you didnât get the shop blown up or the matcha spilled (it was expensive). this meant you could leisurely wake up at 4:45am and set up the display muffins and cake pops when you arrived in the shop at 5:20am. really, the manager ought to reduce the hours because all you do is finish your readings for your gen ed history classes on the canvas app on your phone. so, really you get paid for doing your homework on your shiftsânot that youâre complaining or anything.
that is, until gojo satoru.
first, letâs get the record straight about who gojo is. gojo is a physics second-yearâsame as youâwho is the bane of your existence. up until a few months ago, you never saw gojo satoru outside of classes (where he was dozing off) unless you happened to show up at a frat party, which was only a few occurrences when you got peer pressured by your friends. clearly, he was a âwork hard, party hardâ type person because he frequents the frats more than the library while having the grades to make up for it because heâs a prodigy. heâs charismatic and smart as fuck; right out of middle school he was studying manifolds and abstract algebra while the rest of the high school freshmen were learning the quadratic equation and the concept of variables. he probably learned what gravity was at age of two and was doing research in quantum field theory by the time he got into college.Â
take the last time you saw him outside of class, at office hours with professor yaga.
the air in professor yagaâs office is thick with the scent of old textbooks, the hum of the overhead lights adding to the familiar quiet. youâve been waiting all week for this chance, and youâre armed with a question thatâs supposed to signal iâve done my homework. you lean forward, trying to project confidence as you ask, âi read in your last paper that youâre working on optimizing error correction in quantum computing systems. is there a reason you prioritized stabilizer codes over surface codes?â
professor yagaâs brow lifts, impressed, and you can feel the warmth of his approval starting to settle around you. âah,â he says, sounding pleasantly surprised, âyouâve actually read it. thatâs... a complicated question.â he leans back, launching into an explanation, and for a second, you think this might actually be itâthe moment he notices you for your dedication, your depth of knowledge.
but then, the door creaks open behind you.
you tense, a sinking feeling pooling in your stomach even before you turn around. of course, itâs gojo satoru, strolling in like he owns the place. his bag is slung over one shoulder, and heâs flashing that easy grin that never seems to falter. he spares you the briefest glance before zeroing in on professor yaga.
professor yagaâs face shifts instantly, a mixture of annoyance and resignation flashing in his eyes as he sighs, âgojo. nice of you to join us.â
âhey, i was just passing by,â gojo says casually, though heâs clearly anything but. he doesnât pass by anywhere without making an entrance. âthought iâd check in on how everyoneâs doing.â
the glint in yagaâs eyes sharpens, and he fixes gojo with a look. âwhenâs that last problem set coming in, satoru? iâve had enough late assignments from you for one semester.â
at this, another professor at a nearby desk chuckles, casting an amused glance at gojo. âdonât push him too hard, yaga,â he says as if gojoâs delinquency is something charming, a shared inside joke. âkidâs already got the departmentâs highest scores without trying.â
oh, for godâs fucking sake. you force yourself not to roll your eyes, your grip tightening on the strap of your bag as you sink back in your chair. of course, all it takes is for him to show up and somehow youâre rendered invisible. just minutes ago, professor yaga was engaging with you, treating you as if you might actually belong in this room with your carefully constructed question. now, heâs utterly distracted, entirely absorbed by whatever pseudo-flattering insults heâs throwing at gojo. and, for the record, that stupid, balding professor is wrong. you have the same fucking scores as gojo, so youâre equals.
youâre not even sure gojo realizes heâs doing itâthat he has this magnetic, obnoxious effect on everyone in a room. but thatâs exactly what grates on you the most. he pulls all eyes to him, like heâs some cosmic force everyoneâs compelled to admire. and you? youâre just⊠there. not that itâs any different than the usual experiences youâve had as a woman in stem, always feeling like you have to prove yourself five times over. but somehow, gojo makes it worse.
and he does it all effortlessly, like physics is some sort of playground where he can breeze through research and exams, sprinkling charisma wherever he goes. heâs probably off writing his own theories on manifolds while everyone else is struggling to keep up with quantum mechanics. meanwhile, here you are, clawing for every shred of recognition, only to watch it fizzle as soon as he steps into the room.
he flashes a grin at professor yaga. âiâll get it in,â he says, waving a hand dismissively. âiâm just, you know, prioritizing. some of us have⊠extracurriculars.â he doesnât wink, but he might as well.
you resist the urge to scoff, sinking deeper into your seat as the frustration bubbles up, sharp and hot. itâs not like youâre jealous. youâd rather endure anything than admit that. but watching gojo waltz in and immediately siphon off any attention youâd managed to earn feels like a slap. if he could just stop showing up, or better yet, stop pretending to be so casually brilliant, maybeâjust maybeâyouâd have a chance at something other than this routine invisibility.
you let out a huff, pretending to check the time, imagining you had somewhere better to be. you have brilliant, observant blue eyes following you out the door, but youâre too busy trying to keep yourself together until you reach your dorm, where you ugly cry it out.
which, of course, brings you to mornings like this one, where you actually do have to be somewhere. namely, behind the counter at the campus starbucks, opening up shop while most of the world is still asleep. you catch sight of the green mermaid logo ahead, just visible through the dim haze of a 5:07 a.m. chill.
and right beneath it, thereâs a familiar head of silver hair.
your eyes have to double take on the man who seems to be looking a bit slouched, tired and leaning against the light pole while tapping his foot. the muscular yet tall stature and white hair are unmistakable; itâs the same ones youâve dreamed about throttling. but youâre so confused as to why heâs there that you just decide to wordlessly walk towards the store and open up, ignoring his presence until his voice cuts through the morning silence.
âdoesnât this store open up at 5?â his voice sounds tired and groggy, you notice.Â
âuh, yea,â you answer tentatively, shrugging. âbut, um, no one comes until 7 so i show up late.â
his eyes narrow and somewhat playfully (well, as playful as he can sound at the ass crack of dawn anyways), he asks, âdonât you know time is of the essence? seems pretty irresponsible to me that youâre not showing up on time.â
you just stare at him for a bit because, after all, this is the guy youâve been having the murderous equivalent of wet dreams about for the past year talking to you in a friendly, joking, familiar way. needless to say, youâre at a loss of words in your slightly flustered state, so all that comes out is a short âsorryâ before youâre walking in, getting ready to put on your apron and setting the oven on to heat up the croissants.Â
gojo follows in after you, choosing to sit at the table closest to the counter. he sets the backpack he had on his back down, rummaging through and whipping out his laptop and plugging it in. itâs a heavy old thing, and gojoâs biceps strain as he pulls it out and you almost snort when looking at it in its entirety. a gaming laptop.
 but you donât do that, because laughing at someone whoâs a stranger to you would be mean, no matter how much you hate him, so you resort to setting up the counter and getting some powders out. bending over, you get the newly shipped box of cake pops, deigning to put them out on display until youâre interrupted with a cough.
you turn, looking inquisitively at gojo until he points down to the counter, indicating that he wants to order. you mumble, âjust a second!â before you continue hauling the box to put it on the top counter where you can easily unpack it and brush your hands, walking up to gojo and getting the system ready to take his order.Â
and your fingers are poised on the buttons until you realize that no order is coming out of his mouth. you blink, and he blinks, keeping a stoic face that nevertheless poorly conceals an amused expression.
ââŠwhat can i get you?âÂ
at that, he pouts. âno good morning? no chirpy hello?â
you just stare at him for a good second. what the fuck?
âwhat?â gojo frowns. âshouldnât you do that to every customer?â you realize belatedly youâve said it out loud in your shock, but shake it off nonetheless.Â
the silence lingers after gojoâs teasing comment, making you acutely aware of the odd situation: youâre standing there in your work apron, face-to-face with the man youâve imagined taking down in your head a thousand times, and yet here he is, tired but playfully trying to chat you up. you should hate thisâheâs getting under your skin, but for some reason, you just feel unsettled, disturbed that heâs so human.
you donât trust your voice to not crack while making eye contact with him, so, instead, you focus on your screen. you settle on a simple, flat, âmorning,â without a hint of cheerfulness, staring down at the register like itâs your lifeline.
gojoâs eyebrow quirks at your half-hearted greeting, but he says nothing, opting instead to study you with an amused glint. you can feel his gaze, like a weight on your skin, and it almost makes you shiver. he leans forward a little, propping his elbows on the counter, his posture loose but expectant. his playful energy is barely masking something beneath it, something harder.
gojo's grin is wide, almost boyish, and it makes your stomach churn more than it should.
âsee? was that so hard?â he says, leaning forward on his elbows like heâs settling in for a chat. his tone is too friendly for someone whoâs never exchanged more than a glance with you in classâsomeone youâve been actively avoiding whenever possible.
you scowl, moving to the register to finally punch in his order. âwhat would you like?â
âhmm...â he taps his chin, dragging out the silence. heâs enjoying this, that much is obvious. âsurprise me.â
you blink, fingers still poised over the buttons. âsurprise you?â
âyeah,â he says, shrugging like itâs no big deal. âyou work here. you know whatâs good.â
you want to throttle him. really, truly throttle him. thereâs no way this is realâno way the gojo satoru is sitting in front of you at 5:07 in the morning, asking you to surprise him with a starbucks order like heâs some quirky regular.
and yet, here you are.
âfine,â you mutter, punching in the order for the sweetest, most ridiculous concoction you can think of. caramel drizzle, extra whipped cream, a pump of every syrup in the back roomâyouâre not going easy on him. âthatâll be eight dollars.â
he doesnât blink at the ridiculous price. of course, he doesnât.
pulling out his phone, he taps it against the card reader and flashes you another grin. âthanks, iâm sure itâll be great.â
you barely resist the urge to roll your eyes. âuh-huh.â
as you move to make the drink, the silence between you stretches uncomfortably. youâve spent so much time thinking about gojo, despising him, that now that heâs here, right in front of you, you donât know how to act. and the worst part? he seems perfectly at ease, completely unfazed by the fact that youâve spent the better part of a year dreaming of his downfall. heâs back to looking at his stupid heavy ahh gaming laptop, and as you move over to put in copious amounts of caramel pumps, you notice that heâs on cool math games playing fireboy and watergirl and almost snort out loud. heâs locked in on his game, his legs moving up and down anxiously, reminiscent of an ipad kid.
after a few minutes of assembling his monstrosity of a drink, you slide it across the counter. âhere,â you say, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice.
gojo raises an eyebrow at the drink, the sheer volume of whipped cream threatening to spill over the lid. âwow,â he says, sounding genuinely impressed. âyou really went all out.â
âyou said to surprise you.â
âi did,â he admits, grabbing the cup and taking a slow, deliberate sip. his eyes widen slightly at the overly sweet taste, and for a brief moment, you think youâve won.
but then he smiles again, that same irritatingly carefree smile, and you know you havenât.Â
âso,â gojo begins, leaning back in his chair like heâs settling in for a long conversation. âwhatâs a genius like you doing working the early shift at starbucks?â
your hands freeze mid-clean, and you glance at him sharply. genius?
you canât tell if heâs being sincere or mocking youâprobably the latter, considering who he isâbut the word still lingers in the air between you, unsettling.
you scoff, trying to brush it off. âgotta pay the bills somehow,â you mutter, going back to wiping down the counter. but gojoâs gaze is heavy on you, and you can tell heâs not letting it go.
you glance up at him. âlook, i like having time to think in the mornings. itâs quiet. besides, no oneâs lining up for coffee before 7, so itâs not like iâm missing anything.â
gojo chuckles softly, but thereâs something off about it. âthinking time, huh?â he repeats your words, but thereâs a strange edge to them, like heâs mulling them over. in fact, you think you just realize that heâs been acting oddly this entire morning, restlessness evident in his figure. he taps his fingers on the table, his eyes flickering to the window, watching the gray morning light spill into the shop.
âdoesnât it ever feel likeâŠâ he trails off, brow furrowing slightly. âi donât know⊠like you should be doing something else? like⊠something more?â
his question hangs in the air, heavy and unspoken, but you get the feeling heâs not talking about you. thereâs something in his voice, something that sounds like heâs grappling with his own thoughts, with his own place in the world.
for a moment, youâre tempted to brush him off. to tell him heâs overthinking things, that heâs gojo satoru and he already has everything laid out for him. but something stops you. maybe itâs the way he looksâhis usual confidence slightly cracked at the edges, his playful tone masking something else. something deeper.
you shrug, turning back to the counter. âi mean⊠it doesnât have to be âmoreâ all the time. sometimes just showing up is enough.â
thereâs a pause, and you can feel the weight of your words sinking in. gojo goes quiet, really quiet, and when you glance back at him, his usual smirk is gone. heâs just⊠staring at you, eyes narrowed slightly like heâs trying to figure you out.
âjust⊠showing up, huh?â he repeats softly, almost like heâs testing the words. his fingers stop tapping, and he leans back in his chair, his gaze unfocused, like heâs somewhere else entirely. somewhere in his own head.
you donât say anything else. youâve said your piece, and somehow, you know it hit deeper than either of you expected. thereâs a strange silence between you now, not uncomfortable, but heavy with understanding.
gojo stands up after a long pause, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. he looks at you, his usual grin slipping back into place, but itâs softer now. less cocky. more real.
âmaybe youâre right,â he says, and this time thereâs no teasing in his voice. âsometimes itâs enough just to show up.â
and with that, he gives you a small nod, turning and heading out into the cold morning. the door swings shut behind him, and for a second, you just stand there, staring after him.
somethingâs shifted. you donât know what it is, but it feels like the start of something. something bigger than just a rivalry.
you shake your head, turning back to the counter. itâs too early for this shit.
âŠ
âyou know, i didnât get your name.â
gojoâs voice cuts through the low hum of the espresso machine as he leans against the counter, that same insufferable grin plastered across his face. heâs here again, of course, only this time itâs during your closing shift. the place is quiet, almost deserted except for the occasional customer who swings by for a quick coffee before heading back out into the cold.
you look up from the equipment you were cleaning, already annoyed. âiâm pretty sure weâve shared at least one class every semester.â
you werenât trying to hide the pettiness. gojo, for all his academic genius, clearly couldnât be bothered to remember youâa recurring face in his orbit. itâs not like you were expecting him to remember you, especially among the sea of faces in lecture halls, but something about the way he strolled in, acting like this was just some cute, quirky meet-cute, got under your skin.
gojo quirks an eyebrow in confusion, his gaze drifting up toward the ceiling as if searching the recesses of his mind for your nameâonly to come up empty. âare you a grad student?â
you flash him an exasperated look. âjust for that, iâm not telling you.â
grabbing a towel to wipe your hands, you step out from behind the barista counter, heading towards the trash can just behind him to restock the straws. as you make your way to the supply room, you can feel his eyes following your every move. to your surprise, gojo starts walking toward you, his presence looming as you dump the straws into the container.
it isnât until you turn around that you realize heâs standing right next to you, bent comically at the waist and squinting at something on your chest. heat creeps up your neck and into your cheeks as you realize his proximity and move to take a step back.Â
he wasnât ogling you (thank god), but instead, squinting at the nametag pinned to your apron.
"ah," he says, straightening up with a triumphant grin. âthere it is. y/n, huh?â the way his mouth rolls over your name slowly makes you feel a bit weird, because after all, this is the guy youâve shit talked about in your diary finally acknowledging you existed, but before you can reflect on the feeling, you bristle again in annoyance.Â
âreally? you had to get that close just to read my name?â
gojo doesnât seem fazed by your annoyance, in fact, it only seems to amuse him further. âhey, i was just trying to be thorough. gotta make sure i get it right, you know?â his grin widens, and you swear heâs enjoying this way too much.
âthorough. sure.â you turn away, trying to busy yourself with the straws again, but the heat still lingers on your face. his proximity had been⊠unexpected. and a little too close for comfort.
when youâre done with the straws, you steel the courage to turn your body so youâre facing him, making an indication with your hands for him to move out of your way. instead of him giving you space to leave the cramped corner, he leans against the counter now like he practically owns the place. in doing so, he effectively pins you against the corner of the coffee shop, leaving you no option but to fiddle with the straws while pointedly avoiding his gaze, but not before you see the pout on his face. âyouâre not going to ask me for my name?â
âi know it. itâs gojo.â you immediately curse yourself for letting your lips loose.
fuck. he squints his eyes in what you perceive as suspicion. âhow do you know my name?â
âi saw it on your credit card information.â you couldnât exactly tell him how youâve stalked him (as well as how inefficient you found a function in his 6th grade robotics code), so that would be a plausible enough reason.Â
but gojo, of course, doesnât let up. âso, y/n,â he starts. âyou going to the party next week? you know, for halloweekend?â
ah, halloweekend. the ultimate weekend for getting excuses to dress slutilly, excessively drink, and get laid. at your college, it was an even bigger deal, with people partying for all three days of the weekâs end as well as the weekend before and after halloween. you shook your head. âi donât think so.â that phys 321 assignment was not going to finish itself, nor were parties really your scene.
âwhat?â he immediately crosses his arms across his chest, frowning and leaning closer to you to squint at you. âwhy?â
you sigh inwardly, awkward at the prospect of him bugging you further about your life. âiâm buââ
youâre interrupted by the sound of the door opening and instinctively move to get behind the counter to take the new customerâs order; at first, you thank the heavens that you got a distraction from gojo, that youâre not alone anymore, but seeing who the customer was, the hope extinguishes like a candle face with wind.
you both see a man swagger in, the same guy youâve noticed hanging around far too often lately. his eyes immediately lock onto you, and a slow, sleazy grin spreads across his face.
âhey, look whoâs still here,â the man says, sauntering over to the counter like he owns the place. âmy favorite barista.â
you tense, forcing a smile. âwhat can i get you?â
he doesnât answer right away, his gaze sliding down your body in a way that makes your skin crawl. âi was thinkingâŠâ he drawls, leaning in closer than necessary, âyou and i should hang out. youâre always here, and iâm always here, so itâs like fate or something, right?â
your stomach churns, and you take a small step back, maintaining your composure. âiâm good, thanks.â
but he doesnât let up, leaning further across the counter. âcome on, donât be like that. just one drink. you deserve it after a long day.â
âi really canâtââ
âdonât be shy,â he interrupts, a grin spreading wider. âiâm a nice guy, i promise.â
before you can think of another polite rejection, gojo steps forward, his body language shifting entirely. the playful air around him evaporates, replaced by something colder, more dangerous. he positions himself squarely between you and the guy, effectively cutting off the manâs view of you.
âshe said no,â gojo says, his voice firm, low. âso why donât you fuck off?â
the sleazy guy blinks, clearly not expecting the sudden shift. his smile fades, and he glares at gojo, sizing him up like heâs considering pushing back. but one glance at gojoâs unwavering stare, and the guy decides itâs not worth it. with a muttered curse, he turns and leaves, the door swinging shut behind him.
you let out a breath you hadnât realized you were holding. the guyâs been bothering you routinely; part of you thinks that heâs still not going to leave you alone, but the rest of you visibly relaxes, the weight of this guyâs harassment lifting off your shoulders under gojoâs protection.
gojo turns back to you, the usual teasing smirk creeping back onto his face, though his eyes are still sharp. âyou okay?â
âyeah,â you manage, though your voice is quieter than youâd like. âthanks for that.â
âdonât mention it.â he shrugs it off like it was nothing, but thereâs something different in the way heâs looking at you nowâsomething protective. âi know youâre perfectly capable of handling yourself, but i figured iâd speed things up a bit.â
you roll your eyes, trying to shake off the tension. âyouâre such a hero, gojo.â
âalways,â he replies with a wink. and just like that, the momentâs lightened again, the balance between you restored, though thereâs a subtle shift in the air. something unspoken between the two of youâan understanding, maybe.
you donât acknowledge it out loud, but as you go back to restocking, you find yourself glancing at him more than before. and for the first time in⊠well, ever, you donât completely mind his presence.
âŠ
fast forward a few hours, and after a bit of conversation, gojo finally leaves the fine institution that is your campus starbucks. right now, youâre alone and finishing cleaning up. you lock up, the starbucks finally closed, finishing your last task for the night. itâs quietâtoo quiet, actually, with the usual streetlights casting strange shadows across the empty sidewalk. the air feels heavy, like something unseen is lingering just out of reach, watching from the dark. you shake it off, telling yourself youâre just tired and letting your nerves get to you.
as you start your walk back to your dorm, the feeling only grows. the streetâs nearly empty, and with each step, the silence presses in closer. itâs fine, you tell yourself, picking up your pace. but then you hear it: the echo of footsteps, faint but unmistakable. heart pounding, you speed up, every instinct telling you to just get back. almost there. you just have to cross the alleyâ
âhey there,â a voice drawls, and your stomach sinks. a hand moves to grab at your shoulder, making you turn quickly. what meets your vision is the same guy from earlier, his grin widening in a way that makes your skin crawl.
you try to move out of his grip, but he grabs you harder, cutting off any escape. âaw, donât be like that. i just wanted some company.â
your throatâs dry, but you manage, âi said no.â
he doesnât even pretend to listen, his gaze trailing over you with that same leering interest. âno need to be so uptight. i could make this fun for you.â
your back hits the wall of the alley. trapped. he leans in, his breath warm and sour against your face, one hand reaching out as he says something sleazy that you can barely hear over the pounding in your earsâ
and then a voice cuts in from above, all easy humor. âyâknow, i always thought this cityâs trash problem was bad, but this is something else.â
your heart leaps in your chest at the small flicker of hope, that someone has the balls to try to rescue you. but as youâand this creepâturn, you find no evidence of another party present, only his mysterious presence.Â
âwhoâs there?â the guy snarls, his grip tightening so much that you wince. âwhy donât you get lost if you know whatâs good for youââ
âdude, donât you have any rizz?â the mysterious boy retorts.the stranger has a youthful voice, someone of your age. âthe way you have to resort to sexual harassment is just sad. you guys are always sooo predictable, youâre so gonna tell me to scram or something.â
the man scowls, hand leaving your arm in an effort to search for the stranger in the dark. âwhy donât you mind your own business, punkââ
and heâs interrupted, because a shiny, silver something flings out in the darkness and lands on his face, sending his arms in a frenzy to uncover what it is. the man rips the sticky, silver webbing off his face with a growl, looking around wildly, his expression shifting from confusion to anger. his eyes dart through the dark alley, searching for the source of that cocky voice, but thereâs nothingâjust shadows and the faint flicker of a streetlamp somewhere down the block.
âwho the hell are you?â he snaps, twisting his neck as if he could scare whoeverâs hiding out there into the open. âshow yourself, you bastard!â
a chuckle echoes from the darkness, bouncing off the brick walls. âwow, real tough guy, huh? but you should work on those anger issues. theyâre, uhâŠa bit unbecoming.â
the man spins around, and another burst of webbing flies out from somewhere unseen, sticking to his shoulder this time. he yanks it off with a frustrated grunt, his head whipping from side to side as he tries to locate the stranger.
âyou think this is funny?â he spits, voice raised in a mix of fear and fury.
âdepends. do you?â the voice is closer now, almost like the stranger is right above you, yet no oneâs there. âor is this just a big overreaction? all i did was suggest you rethink your approach. go to therapy or sumâ.â
the man snarls, fists clenched, starting to look downright unhinged. âget down here and say that to my face, punk!â
âas you wish.â
with a soft thump, a figure drops from above, landing directly in front of the guy in a low crouch. in the dim light, all you see at first are the blue and black accents on the otherwise white suit, his head tilting up, illuminated just enough that his white, wide eyes glow with a certain playful menace. and then, your eyes widen as you gasp to yourself.Â
youâve seen him before.
okay, pause.
youâre a busy college student, one who stays entrenched in the bubble of upcoming exams, assignments, and problem sets that you donât check the news often. in the off chance you do turn from your usual consumption of social media during your breaks to the news, you only have time to read the big headlines.
so you did read somewhere that in your universityâs city of new york city, there was a masked menanâvigilante that had beat up a few guys near a shawarma joint or prevented some shootings at a nightclub. new york city was full of incompetent cops that were on the lookout for him (a/n acabbbbbb) since this guy was a vigilante, some kind of superhero slinging around on webs. some nameâspiderman.
but before you could read more into the article, your soul almost left your body when you got a canvas notification saying your midterm was graded, so that was the end of that.
alright, pause over. back to now.
âhi!â spiderman chirps, giving him a friendly wave before ducking just as the man throws a punch. the swing goes wide, and spiderman straightens up with a disappointed sigh. âsee, this is why iâm the one with the web powers. youâd hurt yourself with these moves.â
without warning, the man charges again, swinging in rapid succession, but each one misses as spiderman easily sidesteps, practically dancing around him. âoof, dude, how did you make it this far in life with reflexes like that?â he ducks another blow, slipping behind the guy to give him a light tap on the shoulder as he passes.
the man stumbles, eyes flashing with frustration, and lets out a roar, reaching down to pick up a loose brick from the alley floor. he raises it above his head, face twisted in a snarl.
âoh, so weâre improvising now?â spiderman quips, and before the man can bring the brick down, a strand of webbing shoots out, sticking to the brick and yanking it from his grasp. it flies off somewhere into the alley, landing with a dull clatter.
the guy stumbles forward, off balance, and spiderman takes the opportunity to web his feet to the ground, immobilizing him in place. the man struggles, pulling his legs, but heâs stuck fast.
âever heard of boundaries?â spiderman asks, tilting his head with mock innocence. âor, like, self-restraint? you should look into it.â
the man glares, seething, still struggling against the webs. âyou think youâre some kinda hero?â he sneers.
spiderman shrugs, glancing over at you, catching your gaze in a way that makes you feel both strangely comforted and seen. ânah, heroâs a big word. iâm just your friendly neighborhood guy with slightly above-average reflexes.â
with a frustrated yell, the man finally wrenches one arm free and makes a desperate lunge, his fist connecting with spidermanâs side. spiderman lets out a small grunt but only wobbles slightly before grinning. âokay, buddy, playtimeâs over.â
before the man can even react, spiderman sends out another web, this time at his wrist, effectively pinning him to the alley wall. he struggles, face twisted in anger, but spiderman just raises a gloved hand to his lips as if hushing a child. then, in the lull that follows, you remember the thick quantum mechanics textbook in your bag. without thinking, you yank it out and, in a burst of adrenaline, swing it at the manâs head. the book lands with a solid thud, and he slumps, finally, into silence.
spiderman looks at the unconscious man, then at the textbook in your hand. he lets out a low whistle. âyou know, iâve always thought textbooks were a weapon of choice, but thatâs next-level dedication.â thatâs when you realize just how tall he is compared to you, and you canât help your excitement when you realize that heâs here in the flesh.
ânice hit, by the waââ
âitâs you!â you exclaim.Â
âwhat?â he sputters, white eyes widening almost comically. âme? oh,â then he straightens up, âyea, yea. just your friendly neighborhood spiderman. rescuing pretty girls from creeps, kinda my thing. â he shrugs.
you continue, excitedly, âright, youâre the one on the newsââ you move your hand to point at him but quickly wince, the pain of the manâs grip catching up to you.Â
he doesnât miss the movement, eyes squinting at you. âhey, weâll have to get you home. do you trust me?â
you look at him, clutching your arm in pain, and really take a moment to check him out. heâs saved you, heâs probably six feet tall, and his ass looks fantastic in his suit. at this point, youâre looking at him with heart eyes. but you canât exactly tell him you want him to propose, so all you utter out is a ây-yeah. my dormâs randall.â
he doesn't waste any time. with a quick nod, he hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you close as he aims a webline up toward the buildings. âhold on tight, randallâs just a swing away,â he murmurs, his voice light but steady. his hand settles on your hip, and you can't stop the way your stomach flips at the contact.
before you can even process whatâs happening, he launches the two of you into the air, the city blurring beneath your feet as you cling to him, fingers gripping the fabric of his suit for dear life. his arm stays solid around you, his grip somehow both gentle and strong. he lands lightly on the roof of your dorm, setting you down carefully like youâre something fragile. and he steps back, dusting his hands off in the most nonchalant way possible, like he didnât just take you on the most exhilarating ride of your life.
âthis is your stop,â he says, that signature, almost cocky smile playing in his voice.
âuh⊠yeah. thanks. for the rescue,â you manage, your voice a little shakier than youâd like. you donât know if âthank youâ is enoughâit doesnât even come close to covering what you feel.
but he just shrugs, taking a step back. âall in a dayâs work,â he says. âor nightâs work, i guess.â he pauses, giving you a quick once-over. âget some sleep, yeah?â
and just like that, he gives you a small, almost playful salute and vanishes, swinging off into the night as easily as heâd appeared, leaving you standing on the rooftop with your heart still racing.
back in your dorm room, you drop onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling as tonightâs events replay in your head: the alley, his voice cutting through the dark, that cocky smirk, the way he felt holding onto you as you soared over the city lights. a tiny part of you wonders if you imagined the whole thingâif maybe youâre just the victim of some wild, sleep-deprived hallucination.
but no, your arm still aches from where the creep grabbed you, and you can still feel the ghost of his hand on your waist, steady and reassuring. you bite your lip, a smile creeping onto your face despite yourself.
just before sleep finally claims you, you let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all. âthe cityâs vigilante, huh?â you murmur, as if heâs somehow still listening.
the thought is wild, a bit surrealâand strangely comforting.
ïżœïżœ
âone caffe americano!â you call out, reading the label on the cup before handing it over with a small nod. the customer takes it with a quick thanks, and you return to the counter, barely holding back a yawn. the events of last night flicker through your mindâa web-slinging hero, an alley, the lingering ache in your armâand you shake it off. thereâs no room for distractions. life as a college student means the grind never stops, especially on a morning shift right before class.
when your coworker finally arrives, you let out a quiet sigh of relief, grab your bag, and step out into the brisk morning air. the chill helps wake you up as you make your way across campus, hoping to catch up with your friends before the lecture starts. just outside the building, you spot utahime, sitting on a bench, waiting with her usual tired smile.
âhey, finally off the clock?â she asks, raising an eyebrow.
âyeah, barely,â you reply, rolling your eyes. âiâm still running on fumes from last night. you guys save me a seat?â
âof course. nanamiâs already inside,â she says, gesturing toward the building.
you sigh. âyou wonât believe the things that happened last night.â
she gives you a look, in the traditional utahime protective-mother-hen type way. âwhat happened?â
you give her the rundown of what happened, the guy (who she bristles at, gives you a slap at your hand to tell you that you shouldâve told her earlier, kento wouldâve been able to beat his ass if she hadnât gotten to it first) and how spiderman saved you. âi would give him what heâs missing,â you sigh, dreamily.Â
utahime looks at you in a judgmental way. âand thatâs all you got from this? for fucks sake, heâs a vigilante, you donât know if heâs started to tail you or not. pooks, he could literally be dangerous. try to convince your boss to let someone else get your night shift.â as soon as you open your mouth to protest, she cuts you off immediately. âand no, i donât give a fuck about your people pleaser tendenciââ
âweâll revisit this conversation later.â you give her a sweet smile as you start to speed walk, door of the lecture hall of the 9am section of phys401: intro to quantum algorithms, falling in with the usual stream of students after you hear an irritated âyea, cause iâm gonna kill you otherwise.â the familiar chatter and echo of footsteps make the day feel almost normal, grounding you as you weave through the hall.
inside, you quickly spot kentoâs shining, disney prince-like blonde hair, who has saved seats for the three of you near the middle of the hall, away from the ugly, smelly grad students who always crowd the front. he gives you a quick nod as you settle down beside him, flipping open your notebook. the reliable calm on his face helps ease the lingering jitters you hadnât realized you were carrying.
âlong night?â he asks, glancing at the dark circles under your eyes.
âyou could say that,â you mumble, not quite ready to get into details. instead, you wave it off. âjust work assignments, and getting jumped, the usual.â
nanami breaks into a series of shocked coughs, and you hurry to pat his back as he undeniably burns his tongue on the coffee he was taking a sip of. âwhat?â
his rather loud exclamation sets off stares from people sitting closer to you both, so you give utahime, who lets out a quiet groan as sheâs settling into her seat beside you, a knowing look. âitâs a long story, iâll tell it to you later.â
he reluctantly settles in after that, not because he has a choice but because yaga is starting to address the class by asking about the weekend and getting his usual blank stares in return until a voice you recognize as suguru getoâs is saying something to undeniably piss him off, but you donât register quite what it is exactly because the door opens and any attention on geto is directed to the boy with white hair and blue eyes tiredly walking into class.Â
heâs about ten minutes late to the lecture, which is already weird because heâs usually about 27 seconds late, not that you keep count. but also, normally gojo is the picture of confidence and cockyness, making some of the female grad students whisper things about him that you donât think they should be for the five year gap between them and gojo.Â
but today, he looks differentâmessy, unkempt, with shadows under his eyes and a weird angle to his torso, the way he walks, and the way his opposite hand is subconsciously hovering around his side.
your brows knit together as he heads to an empty seat rows behind you next to geto, ignoring the stares of half the room. itâs so out of character for him that you canât help but wonder whatâs going on. you shoot utahime a knowing look, and she stifles a laugh, barely managing to keep a straight face as she watches gojo slink to his seat. nanamiâs usually impassive face exchanges a look with you as well before he turns his attention back to professor yagaâs opening remarks. gojo slides into the row behind you without a word, avoiding everyoneâs gazeâor so you think, until you feel it.
as you attempt to listen to professor yaga, you canât shake the sensation of eyes boring into the back of your head. you resist the urge to turn, telling yourself itâs probably nothing⊠except the feeling lingers, so strong that your pulse ticks up a notch.
âokay, now that weâre all here,â yaga says in a dry tone, barely able to hide his irritation as he glances pointedly in gojoâs direction, âletâs begin with todayâs lecture on groverâs.â
professor yaga taps the board, and the projector switches to a set of slides titled quantum speed-up and the grover search algorithm. he launches into his explanation, voice clipped. âgroverâs algorithm provides a quadratic speed-up for unstructured search problems, a notable advantage in quantum computing. but can anyone tell me why this isnât considered an exponential improvement?â
you raise your hand, as does nanami. a subtle shift of movement in your peripheral vision draws your eye to gojo, whoâs leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. yagaâs attention lands on nanami first, and he gives a succinct answer about how groverâs algorithm yields only a quadratic speed-up in terms of computational complexity. as he answers, you swear you catch gojo watching you, again, through the corner of your eye.
determined not to let him get under your skin, you lean over to whisper to nanami. âwhatâs with him today?â
nanami, still watching yaga, raises a brow. âmaybe he finally realized that he canât get by without skipping class today.â
utahime snickers quietly. âdoubtful. more like he thinks itâs funny to waltz in whenever he likes and still ace every test.â
âexactly.â you sigh, drumming your pen against your notebook. gojoâs rare absences donât even seem to faze most professors. and despite his unpredictable attendance, heâs always managed to stay miles ahead. today, though, somethingâs⊠different about him. like heâs made a life changing decision in the past 48 hours.
âmoving on,â yaga says, pointing to the board where the next slide materializes. âthe heart of groverâs algorithm lies in its use of an amplitude amplification technique, where we iterate a search oracle along with an inversion process. pay attentionâthis concept of iterative improvement will become key when we start covering variational quantum algorithms.â
as yaga delves deeper into amplitude amplification, you manage to focus, jotting down notes on the necessary steps in groverâs search. yet each time you settle into the lecture, you feel gojoâs gaze pricking at you. the first time you turn around, thereâs nothing thereâjust him slouched, seemingly absorbed in whatever heâs staring at on the ceiling. but then, you sense it again and, on your second glance, you catch his blue eyes meeting yours, and he quickly looks away.
whatâs his problem? you give him a questioning look, but heâs adamantly not looking at you, trying to look nonchalant as heâs pulling out his laptop. he might look like a student taking latexing notes of what yagaâs yapping about, but the way heâs using his mouse more than he is his keyboard tells you that heâs probably on papaâs freezeria instead.
you decide that youâre going to waste your time wondering how gojoâs brain functioned, so you instead focus back on the lecture. after all, you didnât understand any of the lecture notes you took notes on before and what it said about the diffuser in the circuit.Â
ânow,â yagaâs voice sharpens, pulling you back into the room, âthese iterations act as amplitude amplification steps, so pay close attentionâespecially those of you who have a habit of being late.â his eyes slide back to gojo, who remains oblivious, leaning back with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as the sound of his name brings him back to the lecture.
gojo doesnât even look phased. instead, he raises a hand casually, like heâs about to ask a simple question. you can feel the anticipation ripple through the roomâhalf the students are waiting to see if heâll fumble, and the other half already know better.
âprofessor yaga,â he drawls, âdonât you think amplitude amplification is a bit of an oversimplification? the way itâs typically presented, youâd think groverâs algorithm was just⊠guessing with style.â he flashes an infuriatingly smug smile, drawing out the pause before continuing. âbut we both know itâs more about quantum phase inversion, right? the oracle reflects about the mean state, iterating with a precision that isnât just luck. or maybe thatâs all too technical?â he leans back, feigning innocence.
the smugness in his tone makes something flare up in you, and before you can stop yourself, your hand shoots up.
âactually, gojo,â you interject, your voice louder than you intended, âcalling it âguessing with styleâ is a very gross oversimplification. groverâs algorithm isnât about intuition or luck. itâs about optimization. itâs not just about spotlighting a target like a rando guess, itâs more like rotating the probability in a controlled mannerâwith iterationsâto amplify the correct solution. not just some quantum trick or guess.â you cross your arms, leaning back in your chair as you stare him down. âitâs not even that bad, compared to what we have classically.â
as soon as you spoke, it seems that the fight and mischievous look in gojoâs eyes fades, replacing it with something that shockingly looks like him being flustered as he averts your gaze, looks to the ceiling, and murmurs something like âyea, thatâs basically most of quantum computing, desperately trying to prove weâre not just wasting our timeâ but yaga interrupts him, clearly a bit annoyed at the two know-it-alls that you and gojo were acting like.Â
ânow,â yaga says, shifting back to the lecture as if nothing happened (probably because he wasnât paid enough to deal with this shit), âthese iterations act as amplitude amplification steps, so pay close attentionâespecially those of you who have a habit of missing lectures.â
youâre just left confused as to why the conversation didnât escalate like the typical academic rivals in movies, because youâve definitely seen gojo bully some people who didnât know what the fuck they were talking about instead of just blushing like some schoolgirl. regardless, you canât help but notice the thrill that you felt, having finally argued with him, having been seen as someone worth arguing. you try to temper it as yaga continues onto the rest of the lecture.
âŠ
âi canât believe youâre making me go.â you tug at the hem of your white corset, paired with a matching skirt, still incredulous at how utahime managed to talk you into attending one of the infamous halloween frat parties. the night air is crisp against your exposed shoulders, and despite your complaints, you shiver more at the thought of wasting the next few hours among sweaty strangers than the actual cold.
utahime, walking beside you in a devil-red version of your outfitâcomplete with horns perched precariously on her headâlooks far too satisfied with herself. she adjusts the horns with one hand, giving you a sidelong glance that practically drips with smugness.
âstop pouting,â she chides. âiâm not going to let you waste another night holed up in your room, buried in manhwa or quantum physics. iâm pretty sure there are cobwebs growing in yourââ
âutahime,â you hiss, cutting her off with a mortified glance around.
âpussy,â she finishes, completely unbothered. âiâm going to find you a guy to hook up with. iâm not saying you have to go all the way, but flirting? kissing? maybe something more? very healthy. highly encouraged.â
your mouth falls open in protest, but before you can get a word in, she fixes you with a sharp glare, her dark eyes flashing with all the authority of a disappointed parent. âdonât even think about arguing with me. i swear, if you donât at least try to enjoy this, iâll make it my personal mission to find someone for you.â
âi canât believe this,â you mutter, crossing your arms. âyouâre supposed to be my friend, not my pimp.â
âoh, iâm your friend. thatâs why iâm doing this. youâll thank me when youâre sixty and not crying about how boring your college life was.â
âiâm not boring,â you counter. âiâm selective.â
âsure,â utahime drawls, clearly unconvinced. âand whatever weird sexual tension youâve got going on with gojo doesnât count.â
you scoff, stopping in your tracks to stare at her. âwhat tension? weâve literally talked once this week. and that was the first time we had a conversation.â
she doesnât respond, already scanning the scene ahead. the street of frat houses looms just ahead, glowing with gaudy orange lights strung up across balconies. the bass from the nearest party reverberates through the pavement underfoot. itâs already crowded, hordes of people shuffling in and out, laughing, shouting, and showcasing their half-baked halloween costumes.
you follow utahimeâs gaze to the nearest house, packed with enough people to make the windows fog up. just the thought of squeezing into that humidity makes your stomach churn.
âlooks crowded,â you mumble. âmaybe we shouldââ
before you can suggest retreating, utahime grabs your wrist and practically drags you toward the house. ânope. youâre coming in. no backing out now.â
the moment you step inside, the smell hits you. sweat, stale beer, and an undercurrent of what you can only describe as frat-house musk. your nose wrinkles, and you instinctively recoil, pulling your arm free from utahimeâs grasp.
âgod, it smells like a gym locker in here,â you say, covering your nose.
utahime doesnât seem fazed. sheâs already scanning the room, her eyes landing on a beer pong table set up in the corner, surrounded by cheering students. âthis is perfect!â she says, beaming.
âfor what? contracting a fungal infection?â you mutter.
but sheâs no longer listening, her focus shifting as a tall, broad-shouldered guy in a makeshift cowboy hat approaches her and then stops in front of both of you, his stare fully enthralled by utahime. âhey,â he says, a bit suavely, in the way that makes you inwardly roll your eyes because you know sheâs going to eat it up. she likes it when theyâre a little ugly, and this guy fits the bill.Â
âhey,â and she giggles, making you have to physically fight the urge to puke, âwhatâs up?â
 they exchange a few words, and before you know it, sheâs smiling in that way that tells you sheâs found her entertainment for the night.
âgo ahead,â you say dryly, waving her off. âiâll just fend for myself.â
utahime starts to protest, but youâre already beelining for the kitchen, trying to get a drink thatâs not too crazy to survive the night. itâs surprisingly less chaotic in the kitchen, though the counters are cluttered with half-empty bottles, red solo cups, and some questionable punch that looks radioactive. you scan the room, your eyes landing on a cupboard that might hold something simpleâlike water. a series of ding! ding! ding!âs go off in your mind as you find the pack of plastic water bottles.Â
standing on your toes, you reach for the handle, but itâs just out of your grasp. you huff in frustration, shifting to get better leverage when a hand way bigger than yours suddenly appears above yours, effortlessly grabbing the item you were reaching for.
âlet me get that for you.â
you turn to thank the person, the words dying on your lips when you see who it is.
gojo.
heâs standing impossibly close, his signature smirk firmly in place, but thereâs something almost casual in the way he looks at you, as if this is the most normal interaction in the world. you swear youâre so close that you can see like the two open pores on his otherwise flawless skin, as his eyes inevitably drag themselves downwards to scan your outfit for the nightâa shitty angel without wings and halo (you couldnât be paid two shits to put in the effort; both of the top and skirt were utahimeâs, anyways.) then, his eyes meet yours again, a bit of playfulness in them.Â
âwell, well,â he drawls, handing you the water bottle. ânever thought iâd see you here.â
you take the bottle, trying to ignore the brush of his fingers against yours. âdidnât have much of a choice. utahime dragged me.â
his grin widens. âclassic. let me guessâsheâs off trying to find her soulmate at the beer pong table?â
âsomething like that,â you mumble, not wanting to give him the entire story. twisting the cap off the bottle, you take a sip, hoping heâll just leave you alone, but instead, he leans against the counter, looking entirely too comfortable.
âso,â he says, tilting his head, âi heard through the grapevine that you had a run-in with that spider-man guy this week.â
that makes you pause mid-gulp of water, instead coughing a bit as you try to swallow it down without basically drowning in kirkland signature natural spring water. youâve only told like, three people outside of kento and iori, so youâre confused why he knows this information, but you continue on regardless. the memory of spider-man swinging in to save you flashes through your mind, and you canât help but smile softly to yourself. âit was amazing. heâsâheâs incredible, honestly. the way he just swooped in and handled everything? so fast, so precise. heâs like a real-life superhero.â
youâre basically gushing to him, and you realize that a bit too late as you look at his face to gauge his reaction. heâs looking at you with a newfound interest, albeit a bit too conflicted to fully tease you about it when he says, âsounds like youâre smitten.â
âmaybe i am,â you admit, laughing. âi mean, who wouldnât be? heâs brave, heâs kind, and he doesnât even stick around for the credit. itâs like heâs this selfless, untouchable figure.â you also kind of want to give him a sloppy toppy for saving you like that, but you spare gojo the details.Â
âuntouchable, huh?â gojo echoes, his tone turning a bit wry andâŠjealous? âsounds like someoneâs got a crush.â
you roll your eyes, but itâs half-hearted, and you think gojo can tell with the way youâre heating up and bashfully looking at the ground. âdonât be ridiculous.â
âiâm just saying,â he continues, leaning closer, âif thatâs your type, you might want to raise your standards. superheroes are overrated.â
you raise an eyebrow. âand what, youâre not?â
he grins, that infuriatingly charming grin that makes you want to simultaneously punch him and laugh. âiâm better. iâm real.â he then puts his hands on the counter behind you, caging you between them until your knees are lightly brushing, and suddenly his face is so close that small little breaths from his nose are fanning across your face. âi can prove that to you.â
and you hate your body for being soâŠreactive and enthusiastic to his smooth-talking, face flushing. despite that, you try to put on an air of nonchalance. âgod, youâre insufferable.â
âreally?â he teases. his hand leaves the marble counter to hover at your hip, his hand subconsciously tracing your curves an inch above your skin. the motion, firm but tentative as if heâs waiting for you to give him the green light, makes you shiver as you subconsciously move your hips to finally have the skin-to-skin contact. and your skin sings in happiness as he draws circles into the area right below your skirt, even momentarily dipping just below, to which you realize that heâs treading very close to your panties, since your skirtâs really short.
"yea," you basically sigh, hating yourself for how breathy your voice sounds.Â
it seems to have an effect on gojo because his eyes darken as he murmurs, "wastin' your time on that spiderman guy."
maybe it's the fact that it's late (you've been getting sub four hours of sleep this past week) or the lights in this humid frat bring a heady air, but all academic-rivalry-overshadowed-woman-in-stem history between you and gojo disappears in your brain as you rake your eyes up and down his torso and then look at him through your lashes. "who should i spend my time on instead?"
he gives you a little smile as he stares down at you, eyes raking over your face, catching at your lips and then going back up again to meet yours. âi donât know, someone whoâs as smart as you,â he murmurs.
âyea?â you laugh out breathlessly. your faces are so close that in normal circumstances, you would worry about how you both looked so close together, one hand on your thigh and the other splayed on your waist. âand how would you know how smart i am?â
satoru starts, lips coming closer and closer. âbecause iââ
but heâs interrupted, because you both hear a âsatoruâ and pull apart, breathing heavily as you both turn to look at the offender standing in the entrance of the kitchen: suguru geto, gojoâs best friend, looking more tired than anything as his eyes catch on you, then going to gojo with a pointed look. itâs not hard to figure out what was going on based on how disheveled you both look, your skirt crooked and his shirt crumbled, and your cheeks heat. before you can say anything, however, suguru sighs and says to gojo, âthereâs a burglary happening nearby.â then, he turns but not before giving you a nod. âmake sure to stay safe.â
he promptly leaves, leaving you confused standing there. was this such an emergency worth noting that he interrupted his best friend?
you try to seek the answer in gojoâs face, but he has this conflicted, annoyed countenance and you suddenly feel kinda of insecure because heâs raking his hand through his hair, staring painfully at the ceiling then at you. at the same time you utter out a âuhââ he says âi have to go.â
âoh.â you blink. a why brews on top of your tongue, but you temper it, reminding yourself that youâre not close to gojo like that. needless to say, you feel a little embarrassed as you watch him jog out of the kitchen with a little wave to you. you want to overanalyze gojoâs last look to you, the one that looked a bit like disappointment and yearning, but you shake it off, staring at the 16.9 oz plastic water bottle in your hand that you forgot about.
taking a sip, you cringe as you become more aware of your surroundings and the state youâre left in because of gojo. that your panties are a bit more stickyâyou reach under your skirt to adjust them so they donât stick to your crotch so muchâand youâre hot all over.Â
then reality comes crashing back. what the hell did you and gojo just do right now?
you groan out loud, banging your head against the fridge, but as you reel back, in your peripheral you see someone there. your head shoots to see the guy whoâs now looking at you with a weird expression as he undeniably waits for whatever freaking out you were doing to gain access to the fridge.Â
âsorry,â you blurt out, and gather yourself to beeline for the exit. god, you needed to find utahime.
âŠ
the soft hum of a tv in the corner of satoruâs apartment provided the only sound, save for the faint rustle of suguru flipping through a textbook. the remnants of takeoutâboxes of half-eaten pad thai and a pile of discarded chopsticksâlittered the coffee table between them. satoru leaned back on the couch, legs stretched out, staring at the ceiling like it held answers he hadnât thought to ask yet. he held a small foam ball, tossing it up and catching it over and over. his mind, however, wasnât focused on the ball but on you.
it was starting to feel like an obsession. heâd always been able to compartmentalize thingsâhis studies, his friends, his other responsibilities. but you? youâd broken through the usual barriers in his head, wedging yourself firmly into every free thought he had.
âdo you think she likes me?â he asked suddenly, breaking the quiet.
suguru glanced up from his book, his expression unreadable. âwho, starbucks girl?â
satoru scoffed. âsheâs not starbucks girl. sheâsâŠâ he trailed off, tapping his fingers against his knee. your name lingered on his tongue, oddly weighty in a way that felt almost unfamiliar.
suguru smirked. âoh, sheâs got a name now? progress.â
âshut up.â
but he couldnât shut his mind off, not when you kept taking up space in it. it wasnât just that heâd noticed you nowâreally noticed you, for the first time. it was more than that.
satoru had always known who you were. you werenât exactly easy to miss. in a program full of ugly guys who didnât shower and loud personalities, you had carved out your niche by being the cold, unreachable one. the one who didnât bother with group projects unless she had to, who barely engaged in conversations beyond what was strictly necessary. other guys in the program talked about you, of course. they always did.
âfrigid,â they called you. âtoo serious. probably thinks sheâs better than us.â
they werenât entirely wrong. you were better than most of them, but not for the reasons they assumed. satoru had read your workâpapers that brimmed with insights that most of their half-baked theories could only dream of. he could tell you put in the effort in your classes and research, while all the guys left shit-talking had to rely on their grad student mentors to be able to write a legible paper. for fucks sake, he doesnât even thing anyone could code in qiskit or cirq like you could; he had skimmed your notes once, left them behind after a lecture, and found them meticulous and sharp before he turned them into the professor to return to you.
and yet, despite the brilliance you carried with you, you had never given him a second glance.
that day at starbucks, though.
satoru rolled his head to the side, gaze drifting toward the window. he hadnât expected to see anyone at five in the morning, let alone you. heâd been desperate for answers thenâhe had spent his night staring at his hands, which had seemed to keep ejecting spider-like webs after heâd been horribly sick. he knew he shouldnât have gone fooling around in new yorkâs subway tunnels at 3am with suguru and shoko, but after a seemingly-harmless spider had bit him, he had been reeling from the discovery of his newfound powers and grappling with the weight of what they meant ever since.Â
and there you were, unlocking the starbucks, bleary-eyed but no less composed.
youâd handed him his coffee, not interested in him the entire time, and he remembered blurting something outâsomething ridiculous about fate or responsibility, his usual bravado faltering in the quiet of the moment. he had been spiraling, unsure of who he was anymore, and youâd said something.
what was it again?
âit doesnât have to be âmoreâ all the time. sometimes just showing up is enough.â
the words had stayed with him, carved deep into the corners of his mind. you didnât know it, but they had pulled him back from the edge that day. since then, heâd started noticing you in ways he hadnât before.
the way you brushed your hair behind your ear when you were deep in thought. the furrow of your brow when you argued as respectfully as you could with a professor (gojo knew you were holding back, though, and the thought always made him smile to himself because if he wasnât an idgafer he would be incensed like you at the idiotic teacher). the smileârare, fleeting, but utterly disarmingâthat occasionally lit up your face when you talked to utahime or that guy you were too friendly around, nanami.
âyouâre doing that thing again,â suguru said, snapping him out of his thoughts.
âwhat thing?â satoru asked, sitting up straighter.
âbrooding. youâre thinking about her, arenât you?â
âno.â
suguru arched an eyebrow. âyouâre a terrible liar.â
satoru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. âfine. maybe i am. but itâs complicated.â
âhow is it complicated?â
âshe doesnât like me,â satoru said, shrugging. âat least, not as me. she likes spider-man.â
suguru blinked, clearly unimpressed. âyouâre being stupid bro.â
âiâm not being stupid,â satoru argued. âshe thinks spider-manâs this amazing, selfless hero. she doesnât know iâm just some guy who canât even figure out how to flirt with her without making an ass of himself.â
suguru leaned back in his chair, regarding satoru with an almost pitying look. âso let me get this straight. youâre worried that she only likes spider-man, even though spider-man is you. like itâs some kind of split personality thing?â
âwell, when you put it like thatââ
âit sounds dumb,â suguru finished. âbecause it is dumb.â
satoru glared at him, but suguru only shrugged. but how could he not think about you? even now, the memory of your voiceâcalm, steady, and unexpectedly warmâechoed in his head. you had this way of looking at him, like you were peeling back layers he didnât even know he had. and that smile... he groaned inwardly. he wasnât supposed to be so drawn to you, wasnât supposed to imagine what itâd feel like to have you smile at him like that all the time.
âlook,â suguru continued, âif you like her, shoot your shot. youâre already overthinking this, and you havenât even done anything yet. whatâs the worst that could happen? she says no?â
âor she laughs in my face,â satoru muttered.
âwhich would be deserved, honestly,â suguru said, smirking. âbut seriously, youâve got nothing to lose. and everything to gain.â
satoru didnât respond, his gaze fixed on the takeout boxes on the table. he wanted to believe suguru was right, but there was a small, stubborn part of him that wasnât so sure.
because it wasnât just about rejection, or even whether you liked him as satoru or spider-man. it was about what came after. if he let you in and something happened to youâif his double life brought danger to your doorstepâhe wasnât sure heâd ever forgive himself.
but then there was suguruâs voice in his head, steady and persistent: youâve got nothing to lose. and everything to gain.
âŠ
amidst a week of endless projects upon projects and other miscellaneous assignments from your research group partners (since the grad students loved to pile their work on top of you, the helpless undergrad), you find yourself nursing a hot chocolate while on top of your dormitory buildingâs roof.Â
you find sanctuary, coming on here for time to yourself whenever you find yourself stuck in a busy week. quiet, solitary, with a view of the city lights flickering like scattered fireflies. you hugged your cardigan tighter around your shoulders as you stepped onto the roof, your laptop tucked under one arm, a mug of tea precariously balanced in the other hand. the air was crisp, biting just enough to sting your cheeks.
setting your mug down on the ledge, you perched beside it, pulling up your knees and balancing the laptop precariously as you typed. the words on the screen blurred after a while, blending into the chaos in your mind. frustrated, you closed it with a snap and leaned your head back to gaze at the stars.
ârough night?â
you startled, spinning your head around so fast your tea nearly toppled. but you canât find anyone, just the sound of soft footsteps landing somewhere not visible to you.Â
âyou scared the hell out of me,â you sighed, clutching your chest.
âsorry,â he said, though his tone didnât sound all that apologetic. âdidnât mean to interrupt.â
âthen maybe donât sneak up on people like that,â you muttered, still trying to calm your racing heart.
he chuckled, and the sound was warmer than youâd expected. ânoted. so, whatâs got you out here at three in the morning? donât tell me youâre pulling an all-nighter.â
you sighed, the initial shock fading into a dull thrum of shyness. âitâs not an all-nighter if the night isnât over yet.â then, you squint at a random spot, pretending itâs him. âbesides, why are you here? shouldnât you be out stopping robberies or saving cats from trees?â
âdone and done,â he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the ledge. ânow iâm just enjoying the view.â
you turned your gaze back to the skyline, hoping the darkness hid the faint heat creeping up your neck. âso, whatâs a guy like you doing on a random rooftop at three in the morning?â
âcould ask you the same thing,â he countered.
you hesitated. for some reason, admitting the truth to him felt easier than admitting it to anyone else. âjustâŠneeded a break.â
âfrom?â
âeverything,â you said, exhaling slowly. âclasses. expectations. people.â you paused, then added with a faint smile, ânot you, though. youâre an exception.â
âoh?â his voice lightened, carrying a hint of playful intrigue. âshould i feel honored?â
âmaybe,â you said. âitâs not every day you get to meet a real hero.â then, âokay, but why do you always hide in the dark?â
his voice is smug, meant to be playful. âit adds to the mystique?â
you pout. âwhat if i call the police?â
âitâs not like the cops can catch me anyways, baby. their shitty coffee and donut filled asses arenât enough to keep up with me.â
you really try not to flush when he calls you that pet name. âis success getting to you?â
âwhat success? most i hear is everyone debating whether or not i should be experimented on.â
âreally?â you teased. âthatâs not what i saw on my for you page last time. there are girls out there who want you to sign their tits after you rescued that baby.â
then, you hear the soft thud of nimble feet dropping onto the ceiling and turn your head to see him in all his glory. he has a muscular figure highlighted in his white suit, blue and black lines traveling their way across his body. casually, he stretches and then drops down to the floor, sitting cross legged from across from you as if joining you in a regular gossip sesh. he puts his elbow on his knee and rests his head on his hand. âare you one of those girls?â
you laugh sheepishly, turning away as heat creeps up your face again and your heart hammers, because you canât exactly tell him that, yes youâre absolutely enamored with him after he saved you that day and yes, you do indeed want him to sign your tits.
âyou should do that more,â he said.
âwhat?â you look back at him, wide eyed in confusion.Â
âlaugh.â
the way he said it, low and almost reverent, made your cheeks heat. you busy yourself with toying with your cardigan, scooting yourself away from the edge and closer to him. âand you should stop being such a flirt,â you said, though there was no bite in your voice.
âcanât help it,â he said, leaning closer. âitâs kind of my thing.â
âis that right?â
âmm-hmm.â he paused, then added, âyou know, thereâs something iâve been meaning to ask you.â
âwhat?â you asked, arching an eyebrow.
âtake my mask off.â
the words hit you like a gut punch, dissolving the playfulness that had filled the air seconds ago. you blinked up at him, searching his faceâor at least what you could see of itâfor any sign that this was some elaborate joke. but there was no hint of humor, no smirk tugging at his lips. he meant it.
your fingers hovered at your sides, hesitant. âare you sure?â the question came out soft, barely audible, but it felt like it echoed in the quiet night.
ânever been more sure of anything,â he murmured, voice low and steady.
you swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest. slowly, almost against your better judgment, you reached up, fingertips brushing the edge of his mask. the fabric felt smooth, warm under your touch, but your nerves were anything but.
with a deep breath, you peeled it back. bit by bit, his face came into viewâa shock of white hair, impossibly sharp features, and finally, those eyes. those unmistakable, infuriatingly familiar blue eyes. your breath caught, and for a moment, the world tilted sideways.
âgojo?â
the name fell from your lips before you could stop it, unsteady and disbelieving. your mind raced, trying to piece together the impossible puzzle that had just landed in front of you.
he grinnedâthat grin, the one that always made you want to slap it off his face and yet somehow managed to disarm you every single time. âhey.â
âhey?â your voice cracked as you took a step back. âthatâs all you have to say? hey?â
âwould you prefer, âsurpriseâ?â he quipped, his grin widening as though this was the most normal thing in the world.
you laughed, the sound a little hysterical but real, like you couldnât contain the storm of emotions rushing through you. âsurprised? youâve been⊠youâve been spider-man this whole time?â the words felt foreign on your tongue, like they didnât belong in the same sentence as gojo satoruâthe one youâd argued with in class, the one who had no problem making you want to tear your hair out. and yet here he was, standing in front of you, the last person you ever would have suspected to be the cityâs most infamous masked hero.
gojo gave you that crooked grin, the same one he wore when he thought he had wonâwhen he thought he had it all figured out. âi know. itâs a lot to take in.â
you stared at him, trying to make sense of it, but no amount of logic could bridge the gap between the gojo you knewâthe guy who drove you up the wall in class and always had a cocky comebackâand the masked hero who had saved you and the one you had a crush on.
you didnât know whether to scream, laugh, or cry.Â
you take a shaky breath in, still trying to process everything. âyou... you saved me, gojo. youâve been right there, all these times, and i had no idea it was you.â
âguess iâm just that good at keeping secrets,â he said, his tone playful, but there was something more there, something softer, that you couldnât quite put your finger on. his eyes held a flicker of somethingâmaybe vulnerability, maybe uncertainty.
the weight of the moment hung thick in the air between you, and for a long second, you didnât know what to say. this revelation was like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, and you were left staring into an abyss that was both terrifying and exhilarating.
finally, you shook your head, letting out a short breath. âthis is insane.â
he didnât seem bothered by your reaction, though his eyes darkened just slightly, the smirk still there, but with something a little more honest creeping into his expression. âyeah. but youâre handling it better than i thought. kinda thought you would faint, or something.â
the world had shifted, but somehow, with gojo now sitting in front of you like this, with the mask off and the man behind the myth revealed, it felt like the pieces were finally starting to fall into place. even if they didnât make perfect sense yet.
and yet, something about his presenceâhis undeniable realnessâfelt oddly grounding. he wasnât the invincible spider-man anymore. he was just gojo. the gojo who had somehow become more than just your academic rival, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit more than that.
something in gojoâs facial expression shifted to something a bit more hesitant, a little nervous as he stands and extend his arm out to you. softly, he asks, âdo you trust me?â
âyes.â you took his hand, standing up as he flashes you a charming, yet mischievous grin, one so shit eating that you regret saying that. âwhy?â
âiâm taking you for a ride. consider it an apology for freaking you out earlier.â
you hesitated, looking between his outstretched hand and the city skyline just beyond your college campus. âi donât think this is a good ideaââ
âyou trust me, donât you?â
and somehow, against all logic, you realized that you did.
âfine,â you said, stepping closer to him to cling onto him.Â
he pulls you closer, and as he does so, he cranes his neck down to meet your eyes, smiling giddy. âanywhere you wanna go?â
you think for a moment, but know immediately the place where youâd like to visit thatâs open at this ungodly hour. âdo you know that one shawarma jointâ-â
before you can even finish, the wind whips around you as gojo slips his mask back on, pulls you closer to him, and uses his free handâthat is, the one thatâs not clinging onto your firmlyâto shoot a glistening web, one that you saw when he used it on the man who harassed you in the ally. it clings onto a nearby building, and then youâre off the ground, soaring through the air.
you let out a scream of terror against gojoâs chest, tightening your arms around him. you can feel a laugh rumble in his chest, a boyish chuckle as he peers down at you and shouts, âare you having fun?âÂ
âgojo,â you whine, burying your head into his chest further. despite your initial fear, exhilaration creeps its way into you as you the city blur, skyline jumping and dipping as gojo effortlessly swung you both around.Â
when he finally stopped, landing gracefully on a secluded rooftop, you were breathlessânot just from the ride but from the way he was looking at you.
âyou good?â he laughed, panting from the exertion and tenderly using his hand to rake his hand through your hair, which, you note out of embarrassment, mustâve been messed up from the wind passing through it.
âi hate that you made me dizzy, but yea, iâm good,â you mumble, pulling out your phone to open your camera, fixing your hair.
when youâre done, gojo looks at you with the manic buzz you can only have at 3am. âready to get some shawarma?â
ïżœïżœ
the streets were eerily quiet, the kind of silence only a city at 3am could have. just the two of you, your footsteps echoing against the pavement, the occasional glow of a streetlamp painting your path.
âokay, that shawarma was like, mid at best,â gojo walks alongside you. heâs thrown on a sweatshirt and gray sweatpants over his suit, walking alongside you on the street. your stomachs are full, and you suggested a walk to be able to digest the bigass bowl you both ate.
ânothing tastes better than something youâre eating when youâre supposed to be studying, instead,â you shot back, hiding your little smile as you cross your arms while strolling. the shift between you and gojo was so jarring that youâre still reeling at it, but what is 3am if not for big life changes?
âyea, thatâs fair,â he sighs, crossing his hands behind his head as he continues strolling beside you. âso,â he continues, ânow that iâve officially blown your mind with my secret identity and fed you some incredibly mid shawarma, whatâs next? should i fly you to paris, or is that too clichĂ©?â
you roll your eyes, but deep inside, youâre really biting back a grin. ârelax, bugboy. maybe first let me recover from being swung like a human pendulum.â
gojo stopped walking, turning to face you with a playful glint in his eye. âyouâre still thinking about that, huh? admit itâyou loved it.â
you raised an eyebrow. âi screamed into your chest for a solid ten seconds. does that sound like love to you?â
he tilted his head, feigning deep thought. âi dunno. thereâs a fine line between terror and thrill. and judging by how tightly you were holding onto meâŠâ
âyouâre insufferable,â you muttered, but your voice lacked bite.
âand yet, youâre still here.â
his words hung in the air, the playful edge softening into something quieter, more sincere. your steps faltered, and you looked up at him, the absurdity of the night fading into the background as your gaze held his.
âguess iâm curious,â you admitted.
âcurious, huh?â he said, taking a step closer. âcareful. curiosity killed the cat.â
without thinking, you blurted, âat least iâve got a fifty-fifty shot, right?â the words barely left your mouth before the regret hit, your inner voice screaming at you for making a lame quantum mechanics joke at a time like this. schrödinger would be proud, you thought bitterly.
but then gojo laughedânot the teasing, obnoxious kind of laugh or the weird look youâd expect, but a genuine, boyish chuckle that reached his eyes. he smiled at you, soft and unguarded, and suddenly, the space between you seemed to shrink.
the flickering streetlamp cast a warm, uneven glow over the two of you. in that moment, the sprawling city felt impossibly small, narrowed down to just him and the pounding of your heart in your ears.
gojo reached up, fingers brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. âyou know,â he murmured, his voice low, âiâve been wanting to do this for a while now.â
your breath hitched, heart thundering in your chest. âdo what?â
âthis.â
before you could respond, he closed the space between you, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was somehow both soft, yet electrifying. for a moment, time seemed to stop, the city around you fading into nothing as the warmth of his touch anchored you in the moment.
when he finally pulled back, his grin was back in full force. âso, was that better or worse than shawarma?â
you blinked at him, still trying to find your footing in the aftermath of what just happened. an immediate feeling of bashfulness crept over you because not only did you just kiss spiderman, you just kissed gojo. there are girls who would kill to be in your position, and that makes you flustered as you turn your head away from him so you donât have to make eye contact. âi hate you,â you mumble half heartedly, cheeks burning.
gojo doesnât let you off so easily. his thumb brushes gently along your chin, coaxing your face back toward his. his touch is warm, deliberate, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
âoh my god,â he says, a grin spreading across his face. âare you embarrassed? youâre so cute.â
when the warmth of his hand leaves your chin, you open your eyes, shocked as you find out that heâs nowhere to be seen. you call out a tentative, âgojo?âÂ
somewhere behind you, to the left, comes out a muffled shout. âiâm here!â you whip around, your brows furrowing as you follow the direction of his voice. itâs coming from an alley just off the street, dark and bathed in shadows.
âseriously?â you mutter under your breath, your annoyance half-hearted, making your way toward the sound. you find yourself at the mouth of the alley, the dim glow of a distant lamp barely illuminating his silhouette.
gojoâs perched on the side of the wall like itâs the most natural thing in the world, one leg propped up, his mask pulled halfway up to reveal that damn smirk. âyouâre slow,â he teases, his tone light and infuriatingly smug.
âwhat are you doing?â you ask, crossing your arms.
he gestures toward himself. âyou came looking for me, didnât you?â
you roll your eyes, stepping closer despite yourself. âwhat, did you think iâd just leave you lurking in some alley like a creepy insect?â
âwell,â he says, shooting a web to stick on the bottom of some stairs of one of the buildings to hang upside down, âyou couldâve left, but i had a feeling you wouldnât.â
before you could retort, he shoots his web closer to something on top of you, now dangling upside down yet again but his proximity even closer, stealing the air from your lungs. his fingers brush a strand of hair from your face, lingering just long enough to make your knees feel unsteady.
âso,â he murmurs, his voice low and teasing, âare we doing this again, or are you gonna keep pretending you hate me?â
your heart stutters, but before you can overthink it, you pull his mask down even further to uncover more of his lips, and you join them togetherâthis time, softer, slower, as if savoring the moment. you grab at his chin to pull him closer to you, you both sighing into the kiss, and then smiling giddily each time you pull back, only to come back in.
and just like that, you start to fall intoâŠsomething with not only the vigilante thatâs swinging around new york, but also gojo satoru, your long-time rival.
âŠ
when satoru swings by your dorm next, he doesnât expect his heart to lurch so much at the view of you so cozy.
itâs undeniable; you and satoru have been dancing around each other. youâre not exactly a hook-up to each otherâyou two havenât had sexâbut youâre not exactly girlfriend and boyfriend. and itâs not something casual, either. he doesnât reveal that heâs spiderman just to get into girlsâ pants.Â
youâve both developed a sort of rapport, he supposes. itâs been stolen glances during phys401 and late nights spent talking or, occasionally, making out. youâve even started to nurse his wounds, if he ever shows up with bruises and blood matting his suit. one of the perks of you having a single.Â
heâs even fallen asleep overnight, especially on friday nights when he doesnât have lecture in the morning. some of his things, like some spare equipment and suits, have even found their way into your closet.Â
youâre both on a dangerous roller coaster, and satoru is closing his eyes on the fall down.Â
but right now, heâs perched outside your window like a creep. youâre sitting on your bed, cross-legged and squinting at something on your laptop, and satoru smiles to himself as he sees your tank top and shorts and just how homey you look. you probably know satoru is coming, but youâre so comfortable around him that it makes his heart ache. he shouldnât be doing this, but he canât stop.
satoru lightly taps on your window, his knuckle brushing against the glass softly, not wanting to startle you. you glance up, catching sight of him, and thereâs no hiding the smile tugging at your lips.
you get up, and satoru follows the movement of your bare legs with his eyes as you slide the window open. âyou know, most people knock on doors like normal humans,â you say.
âi like to keep things interesting,â he shoots back, climbing in effortlessly. the faint chill from the night clings to him, and his hair is slightly disheveled from the wind.
he glances around your room, catching sight of your scattered notes and the distinct look of frustration etched across your face. âwhatâs got you looking so miserable?â
âphys401,â you reply with a resigned sigh, flopping back onto your bed. âthis problem set is impossible.â
satoru smirks, peeling off his gloves and mask and plopping down beside you. âlet me see.â
acquiescing, you hand over your notebook, watching as he scans your work with intent, eyebrows scrunching as he tries to understand the statement to prove. he makes a few thoughtful noises, before grabbing a pen and scribbling something down. âhere,â he says after a moment, âyouâre overcomplicating this step. instead of doing the tensor product you did, you could just make this zero by taking an inner product, since theyâre orthogonal states. the rest will fall into place.â
you squint at his messy, rushed handwriting, and sure enough, the proof seems to come together. âhow are you so good at this?âÂ
âphysics prodigy, remember?â he teases, leaning back on his hands as he lays down on your bed.
âthanks for the help,â you say softly, your eyes lingering on him a beat too long. heâs kind of dreamy, you think. the moonlight filters across your window, giving his platinum hair a sheen as his cerulean eyes look into yours with kindness.Â
his smirk fades, replaced by something softer, something unspoken. âanytime.â he then makes a show of stretching out his limbs, purposely bumping into you with one eye open smugly to observe your reaction, to which you glare at him. he spots your notebook, picks it up, and flips through it. âyou know, for someone who complains so much about phys401, youâre not half bad at it,â he teases, scribbling something in the margin of your notes by grabbing a stray pen next to him. Â
you roll your eyes, shifting so youâre cross-legged on the bed, facing him. ânot all of us are physics prodigies, satoru. some of us actually have to work hard.â Â
he chuckles, handing the notebook back to you. âhard work is overrated when you can just charm your way through everything.â Â
you snort and joke, âif charm was all it took, iâd have aced the midterm.â Â
thereâs a beat of silence as you glance down at his notes. heâs corrected a mistake you hadnât even noticed, and his scrawled proof flows so effortlessly it makes you a little envious. âhow do you do that?â you ask, more to yourself than him. Â
âdo what?â Â
âmake it look so⊠easy,â you say, frowning slightly. âeverything. physics, life, swinging through the city.â Â
satoru leans back on his palms, his smirk softening. âtrust me, itâs not as easy as it looks.â Â
you glance up at him, surprised by the honesty in his tone. âwhat do you mean?â Â
he shrugs, but thereâs something vulnerable in the way his gaze flickers away from yours. âi mean, everyone sees the guy with the jokes and the perfect test scores, but no one sees the late nights or the bruises.â he gestures vaguely to his chest, where you know the bruises from his spider-man escapades hide. âguess iâm just good at pretending.â Â
you sit with his words, the weight of them settling between you. âyou donât have to pretend with me, you know,â you say softly. Â
his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the maskâthe real oneâdrops. âi know,â he says, just as softly. Â
the air between you feels heavier, like the world has shrunk to just the two of you. youâre hyper-aware of how close he is, the faint smell of the night clinging to him, the way his knee brushes against yours. Â
âthanks,â he says, his voice barely above a whisper. âfor letting me be here. forâŠâ he trails off, his gaze dropping to your lips before flicking back up. Â
your breath catches. âsatoruâŠâ Â
âyeah?â he says, leaning in slightly, his voice lower now. Â
âiâŠâ you trail off, not even sure what you were going to say. Â
he leans closer, and it feels like everything around you stills. his hand finds its way to your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. âcan i?â he asks, his voice barely audible. Â
you nod, and then his lips are on yours. Â
the kiss starts tentative, almost shy, but it doesnât stay that way for long. it deepens, his hand sliding to your waist as you pull him closer. the tension that had been building for weeksâmonths, maybeâfinally snaps, leaving nothing but heat and want in its wake. Â
his weight presses you back into the bed, and you can feel his heart racing against yours as he pins you to the bed, now on top of you. his hand slips under the hem of your shirt, warm against your skin, and as his thumb traces shapes into your circle and closer to more sensitive areas, a sigh escapes you. Â
thatâs when he freezes. Â
he pulls back, his breathing uneven, his eyes wide and filled with something like fear. âwe canât,â he says, his voice hoarse. Â
your heart drops into your chest.
âwhy not?â you ask, trying to catch your breath. Â
âbecause,â he says, sitting up and running a hand through his hair and heâs heaving. âbecause iâm spider-man, and youââ he breaks off, looking anywhere but at you. âyou deserve better than this. better than me.â Â
you sit up, pulling your shirt back into place and looking at him, hurt. âthatâs not your call to make, satoru.â Â
âiâm trying to protect you!â he says, his voice rising in agitation. he sits back onto his heels, raking a hand through his hair as he looks at the ceiling, as if in pain.
you canât believe him. his self-righteousness irritates you to no end, especially after youâve bared your soul, and now your body to him, something you considered intimate. you feel conflictedâwhatever you had, it didnât have a label. but that didnât mean that you didnât want that to be true. badly.
âand who asked you to?â you snap back. âiâm not some damsel in distress who needs saving.â Â
âi know that,â he says, his tone softening. âbut if something happened to you because of meâŠâ he shakes his head. âi couldnât live with that.â Â
the anger bubbling in your chest boils over, and you snap. âso what? youâre just going to walk away? after everything?â Â
he stands, his expression pained. âiâm sorry,â he says, heading for the window. Â
âdonât you dare apologize,â you say, your voice trembling as you stand by the foot of your bed, hating how your eyes brim with tears. âif you leave, donât bother coming back.â Â
he pauses, his hand on the window frame, before glancing back at you. âiâm sorry,â he says again, softer this time, before slipping out into the night. Â
the window clicks shut behind him, and youâre left alone in the silence, the ache in your chest threatening to swallow you whole.Â
âŠ
the whir of the espresso machine and the gentle hum of background music fill the mostly empty starbucks, the occasional customer wandering in like clockwork. itâs a quiet shift, the kind youâd usually relishâexcept today, the quiet only makes the knot in your chest tighten.
youâre stationed behind the counter, staring blankly at the milk steamer as it hisses, lost in your thoughts. that is, until utahimeâs voice breaks through.
âalright, spill,â she says, leaning her elbows on the counter beside you.
you glance at her, eyebrows raised. âspill what?â
utahime rolls her eyes, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. âoh, please. you look like someone stole your favorite pen and broke it in half. whatâs going on?â
ânothing,â you lie, turning back to the steamer. âiâm fine.â
utahimeâs skeptical gaze bores into you. âyouâre a terrible liar. nanami, back me up.â
from his spot at a nearby table, nanami looks up from his book, his sharp eyes narrowing as they lock onto you. âitâs boy trouble,â he says flatly, like heâs solving an equation.
your head snaps toward him, a glare already forming. âexcuse me?â
âitâs obvious,â he says, setting his book down and regarding you with his usual piercing gaze. âyouâre distracted, you look upsetâitâs boy trouble.â
utahime perks up, leaning closer. âwait, is he right? is this about a guy?â
you let out a groan, leaning your elbows on the counter. âcan you two not gang up on me right now?â
âso it is a guy,â utahime says, her tone turning smug.
âi didnât say that,â you retort, but the heat in your cheeks betrays you.
nanami raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with your deflection. âyou might as well just tell us. itâs not like weâre going to let it go.â
you sigh, running a hand through your hair. âfine. itâs⊠someone i liked. someone i thought liked me too. but he freaked out and said it was tooâŠdangerous to keep going.â
utahime frowns, her curiosity replaced by concern while kento snorts. âdangerous? what does that even mean?â
âthatâs what iâd like to know,â you say bitterly, the frustration bubbling up as you speak. âhe acts like he cares, but the second things get serious, he bolts. like iâm some fragile thing that canât handle it.â
nanami leans back in his chair, his expression thoughtful. âhe might not be scared of you. he could be scared of what it means for him. of responsibility and commitment. some people run when they feel too much.â
utahime nods, her hand resting gently on your arm. âwhatever his problem is, itâs not fair to you. if he canât get it together, thatâs on him, not you.â
you glance between them, the weight of their words settling in your chest. âi know that,â you say quietly. âit just⊠sucks.â
âof course it does,â utahime says, her voice soft but firm. âbut youâre not the problem here. donât let him make you think you are.â
nanami picks up his book again but pauses before opening it. âand donât let him live rent-free in your head. if he canât see what heâs giving up, thatâs his loss.â
their support feels grounding, like a steady hand in the middle of a storm. you manage a small smile, nodding. âthanks, guys.â
âanytime,â utahime says, flashing you a reassuring grin. nanami simply nods, returning to his book but keeping an eye on you like always. for the first time all week since gojo left your room, the heaviness in your chest feels a little lighter.
âŠ
the knock at your window is faint, almost timid, but it jolts you out of your daze. you sit up in bed, your heart pounding as your eyes dart toward the window. itâs lateâso late itâs earlyâand for a moment, you think you imagined it. you hate to admit it, but because of your boy troubles you havenât been able to sleep all week. youâre also no stranger to imagining ants crawling up your body or phantom noises, so you adjust in your bed, trying to go back to sleep.
then it comes again, a little louder this time.
you throw off the blanket and pad over, the chill of the floor biting at your bare feet. when you pull the curtain aside, your breath catches.
satoru.
heâs crouched outside, his suit torn in places and soaked with blood. his head lolls slightly, like heâs barely holding himself up, and when he lifts his gaze to meet yours, itâs tired and pleading.
you donât thinkâthereâs no time for that. you unlatch the window and shove it open, reaching out to help him inside. âsatoru, oh my god,â you breathe, your voice shaking.
âhey,â he mutters, his grin weak but still so unmistakably him. âsorry for the mess.â
âshut up,â you snap, guiding him onto your bed and setting him down with gentle hands, ones that contrast your tone with him. âwhat the hell happened?â
ânothing i couldnât handle,â he says, wincing as he tries to sit up straighter and flashes you a sheepish smile. âyou should see the other guy.â
âyouâre bleeding everywhere, satoru. you clearly didnât handle it.â you grab your first aid kit from under the bed and yank it open, your hands trembling.
âiâve had worse,â he murmurs, but his bravado is thin, cracking at the edges.
âstop talking,â you say, your voice trembling and cracking. âjustâjust stop.â
for once, you thank the gods that he listens.
you work quickly, cutting away the shredded fabric of his suit and cleaning the worst of the wounds. itâs not prettyâhis torso is littered with bruises and gashes, the kind that make your stomach turnâbut you keep your focus.
when you press a disinfectant-soaked pad to a particularly deep cut, he hisses, his hand flying to grab your wrist.
âsorry,â you whisper, glancing up at him with a tender look in your eyes. his expression matches yours, and your faces are so close to each other that you canât bear it anymore, going back to your work.
his fingers loosen but donât let go, his grip warm and grounding. âyouâre good at this,â he says softly, his voice rough.
âyeah, well,â you mutter, ducking your head to avoid his gaze. âyouâve given me plenty of practice.â
the silence stretches as you finish bandaging him up. when youâre done, you sit back, your hands still trembling as you place them in your lap. âyouâre an idiot,â you say, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.
he laughs, soft and hoarse. âyeah. i get that a lot from this girl i know.â
you look up at him, and the weight of everythingâhis injuries, his secret, the distance he tried to put between youâcrashes over you. âyou canât keep doing this, satoru. you canât keep pushing me away just to show up like this.â
his smile fades, replaced by something raw and unguarded. âi know,â he says, his voice barely above a whisper. âi know, butâŠâ
âbut what?â you demand, your voice cracking. âyouâre spider-man? you think thatâs an excuse to keep shutting me out?â
âitâs not an excuse,â he says, running a hand through his messy hair, matted with even more blood. his or someone elseâs, youâre not sure. âitâs a reason. i donât want you to get hurt because of me.â
âyou think iâm not already hurting?â you snap, the anger bubbling to the surface yet again. âyou think it doesnât kill me to see you like this and know i canât do anything to stop it?â
his eyes widen, and for a moment, he looks like a little boy, lost and unsure. it is then that it hits you that heâs just twenty. a college student, not someone whoâs wanted by the cia or someone whoâs battled terrorists. for fucks sake, he canât even legally drink.Â
and your heart canât help but melt as he says, âi just⊠i donât want to lose you.â
âthen stop trying to,â you say, your voice softer now. âstop pretending like youâre protecting me by keeping me at armâs length. let me in, satoru.â
he stares at you, his breath hitching like heâs holding back a thousand words. then, in a rush, he closes the distance between you, his hands cradling your face as he presses his forehead to yours.
âiâm sorry,â he whispers, his voice breaking. âiâm so sorry.â
you exhale shakily, your hands finding their way to his wrists. âjust stop being an idiot, okay? stop trying to do this alone.â
he nods, his grip tightening like heâs afraid youâll slip away. âi promise,â he says, and for the first time, you believe him.
âŠ
a cramp gripping satoruâs entire leg is what wakes him up.Â
he winces in memory of the injury; one of those stupid terrorists had too good of an aim, grazing his leg while he was mid-air. it hurts like a bitch now, and he moves to lay on his back, until something stops him. roses.
he looks, bleary eyed, to you. the floral scent coming from you, making him dizzy. his body cocooning yours.Â
you both unconsciously moved in your sleep so that you were spooning, your fragrant hair, soft from shampooing, tickling his throat with your ass in his crotch.
nestled right against his morning wood.
good fucking lord, he groans to himself, then starts to panic because if you wake up and realize he had a raging hard-on while you were sleeping, you would definitely think he was a creep. heâs already on thin fucking ice. so naturally, he starts to recite the star spangled banner while trying to will his boner away.
oh, say can you seeâ
to no avail, because you huff softly in your sleep, soft and warm body unconsciously leaning back to grind your ass against his lap, turning his dick to steel.
âoh, fuck,â he curses out loud, using his hand to cover the lower half of his face and clench his eyes shut. you feel so sweet, innocently adjusting while he canât even control his lust for you.
but once the grind seems to continue for a bit too long, more than what can be chalked up as adjusting in your sleep, he peers down at you. youâre awake.Â
and because satoruâs selfish, his hands creep up your tank top, settling on your bare stomach, where he knew you were ticklish. as a result, you wiggle, and he uses this opportunity to pull you even closer to him, right up against him.Â
âbaby,â he says, making his voice all deep and sighs on purpose, just to be unfair to you. âis this okay?â
you whine, and he settles his face in your hair, the strands of it tickling his skin as he inhales in the scent of you. âi thought it was a dream.â
he smiles into your hair. you make him feel like sunshine incarnate, and the rush heâs getting right now is akin to the one he gets jumping off the empire state building. âno, this is very real.â
âhm,â and you continue to drag your ass into him, murmuring in a soft voice that makes him want to take you right there and then, âit still feels like a dream. like youâre not real, right now.â
oh, what he would do to make you say his name in that same voice; he wants to whisper all the things he wants to do to you right now. âi know, baby. you feel like a dream.â his hands continue to slide up and up your torso, groaning at your sharp intake as he gently fondles the softness of your breasts.Â
you overwhelm his senses, teasing him, and when you let out a whine of his name, satoru snaps.
âiâm going to make you feel good right now. tell me if itâs a fucking dream,â he grits out, ignoring whatever cramps that were screaming at him to get on top of you.Â
you gasp out a âsatoru,â wriggling in his grasp, and he canât take it anymore. he brings up one of his hands. shoots a web that lands right on your left hand. then your right hand.
satoru just tied you up using his webs.
you look at him in whatever version of shock you can muster in your tired state. âsatoru, what theââ but youâre muffled, because heâs kissing you, hard, roving his hands up and down your body and grabbing whatever he can as if heâs devouring you while making out with you.
âdo you know,â and his eyes flash dangerously while looking down at yours, âhow youâve teased me with these shorts?â his hands trails down to the waistband of the offending piece of clothing, pulling it to make it snap against your skin. you jump, looking at satoru desperately, whoâs left you bare at his mercy, subject to his super human strength as he grabs your shorts with both his hands again. âevery fucking time iâve sneaked up in to your room, itâs been so hard to not fuck you senseless in these flimsy things. itâs only fair you pay the price, right baby?â
itâs not like you have anything to answer him with, having lost all brain cells being fucked out like this. he pulls them down, and if he had laser vision, he would have stared through your panties long ago, eyes fixated on the crotch that was nearly translucent with the amount of slick going through it. burying his face right in between your thighs, he noses at your cunt before groaning. then, he uses his teeth to grab onto the middle and pull. until your pussy is bare to him.
âoh, fuck youâre so pretty,â he curses, lapping at your sweetness. his tongue roves up and down your folds, and if your hands could, they would be pulling at his hair solely because you were so sensitive. but you were trapped, thighs gripped in his strong hands and your arms trapped by his ultra-strong webs. âmy good girl.â
then, you feel pressure at your opening. âsatoââ you squeal but are immediately interrupted by your own moan as he curls his long, thick fingers, eyes observing your every movement as you squirm, electric shocks running up and down your body as he hits your spot dead-on.
and he notices, because the motherfucker chuckles. âoh, so thatâs the spot, huh?â he purrs, visibly pleased as he memorizes it and abuses it, hitting it with every stroke. you barely notice him add one finger, add two fingers as he starts to suck on your clit. overwhelmed with pleasure, youâre only brought back to reality when he rips all contact away from you.
âwhatââ you mumble mindlessly, until you see what heâs doing. he pulls his sweatpants down. and heâs not wearing boxers, so you drool when his cock springs out, leaking copiously and hard. without taking his eyes off you, he pumps it to its fullest length, and youâre just staring in awe at its sheer length.
âwhatâre you looking at, baby?â he teases, using his hand to wiggle his cock in front of your face to mock you. âwant it so bad, isnât that right?â
you glare at him half-heartedly, but whine regardless. âjust put it in, gojo.â
âoh,â and he flashes you a smile that makes a big danger sign in red flash across your mind. âitâs gojo, now is it?â
 âsatoru,â there are tears brimming in the corner of your eyes, the ones that make satoru even more aroused at your want, âplease. i need it.â
a boyish grin and a forehead kiss that has you reeling at his duality. âanything for my woman in stem.â with that, he pushes in, both of your eyes rolling back as his cock is engulfed by your gummy walls. soon after, he starts thrusting, desperation fueling both of you as you cross your legs behind gojoâs back, the deeper angle making his thighs shake while fucking into you.Â
he grabs your face, gives you a tender kiss. âfuck, i love this pussy. so sweet for me.âÂ
you give him a wanton moan in return as he continues to thrust deep, tender strokes into you. âsatoru, âm not gonna last long.â with the amount of foreplay heâs done alongside how sensitive you are, youâre steadily reaching your orgasm already, and with the way satoruâs now tightly gripping the sheets beside you while thrusting inside you, he is too.
wet squelching noises echoes across the room, and you know the neighbors can hear the obscene plap! plap! plap! coming from skin meeting skin, your hips against his. he buries his face into your neck, panting at your ear until he uses his hand to wrench your face towards his.
âi love you,â he groans, forcing your eyes to meet his. âi love you forever and will do so. so you canât break my heart,â and heâs desperately thrusting again, âand you canât leave me. please.â
at his confession, you break, back arching as you also squeal out a iloveyou while gasping loudly, hips rolling to rise against his as he fucks you through your orgasm. quickly, his thrusts veer into overstimulation and you whine. âtoru.â he takes one look at your stateâface impossibly flushed, hands tied, and pussy absolutely engulfing his cock, and his orgasm hits him like a truck, making him gasp and bend and break as he goes to heaven and back with the aftershocks of your orgasm making your pussy clench around him so beautifully. his cum enters you in hot spurts, making you exhale sharply at the feeling as he comes down from his orgasm, collapsing next to you.
for a few minutes, heavy breathing fills the room, both of you catching your breaths. until satoru breaks the silence. âso, whatâs it like to fuck a superhero?â
you take one look at himâall smug and propped up on his elbowâand spidey sense be damned as you try grab a pillow. key word is try because youâre then wrenched back with a reminder that youâre still bound. âsatoru,â and you give him a sickly sweet smile, the one that he knows means heâs in trouble, âwhen are these going to dissolve?â
and satoru pretends to be deep in thought, but you can see him trying to inch off the bed slowly, as if to escape your wrath after his answer. âuhmâŠmaybe five hours?â
if it werenât for the damn spidey sense that he had, he wouldnât have been able to escape the swing of your legs as you looked at him murderously. âsatoru gojo you will unhand me from these webs this instantâ-â
âi donât know,â he shrugs, shit eating grin in his face. âyou look kinda sexy in bed like this. mad at me.â but when your eyes flash with anger, he hiccups nervously, telltale of the fact he wonât mess with you.
âi hate you,â you groan out, pouting like a petulant child while you glare at the ceiling.
 satoru comes close to you to bend at his waist and give you a forehead kiss. âno, you donât.âÂ
you give him a pointed glare, telling him not to be testy. âclean me up. now.â
at your expression, his eyes widen in fear and he salutes. âanything for you, maâam.â
at his retreating form, you giggle and sigh to yourself. you never wouldâve known that spider-man would be the one fetching a clean up rag for you after fucking the shit out of you, but you wouldnât trade it for the world.
when satoru comes back, he cleans you up, tenderly, as if he is afraid that you will break. youâre a little drowsy when he returns to you, but he doesnât dare try to wake you up when he hears little breaths from your nose indicating youâve fallen asleep. after he finishes his job, he admires your features.
satoru lingers for a moment, his gaze softening as he watches the gentle rise and fall of your chest. the weight of his responsibilities presses on him, as it always does, but tonight, it feels heavierâlike a tether pulling him between the life heâs chosen and the life he craves.
you, so peaceful in sleep, represent something fragile, something precious. and that terrifies him. because what if he fails? what if the cost of being spider-man is losing the one thing that feels real?
still, he knows he canât walk awayânot from this city, not from you. with a deep breath, he leans down and presses a featherlight kiss to your forehead, a silent promise lingering in his chest.
âiâll keep you safe,â he murmurs, barely audible. âno matter what.â
instead of leaving, satoru settles down beside you, careful not to disturb your rest. the city can wait, just for a little while. for now, he wraps an arm around you, grounding himself in the warmth of your presence. as your breathing evens out against him, he lets his own eyes drift shut, the weight of his responsibilities momentarily lifting. today, he chooses to stay.
kinktober masterlist | general masterlist | spiderman!gojo masterlist
a/n ok if you're ever curious what being fucked in the ass with a wooden dildo no lube is like, just try to write this fic or any longfic. it's 4am, this a/n is short and unintelligble just like most of this fic but it's been a journey, im very sentimental because of this fic and i hope you guys like it. ok im going to pass out so pls ignore all typos xoxo but please flood my inbox im excited to see yalls reactions when i wake up
plspls pls comment and reblog!!!
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@honeynanamin @obsessgurlll @starrnai @herefor-tojis-tits @ramonathinks
@creamflix
#aashi writes#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru
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Some people really can't handle being wrong. So reminder if you see anyone or anything saying you have to pay for plutotv now they are incorrect.
#my mom's idiot boyfriend#was once again telling us for a fact that you apparently have to pay for pluto#you don't#he was looking at something completely different#i have no idea what#like i can't fully speak for the on demand service#but it's a very easy thing to check#i have the app on my tv and it's on his tv#all he had to do to check was either open the app or go to the website#if i had to guess some social media bullcrap instagram facebook tiktok#are the likely culprits
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Prescription For Pleasure
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f8b467356908f6d1d5dfb3024e747f4/eca9b7d7a9df80fd-c3/s540x810/7ad170faccd6a260cfc64a22a3fc223025368527.jpg)
Warnings: MDNI, sex, masturbation, medical masturbation, use of vibrators, clit play, piv sex, use of latex gloves, oral (fem receiving), some praise, kinda slow burn A/n: I am not normal about this man in any way. Not really proofread. Please do not use my banners without permission.
Youâre seated in Zayneâs office, trying not to squirm as he sets up your appointment. Although this was now the third time you were seeing him for this regular inspection, it didnât alleviate your nerves the slightest. Each month, according to the Hunterâs Association regulations, every hunter needed to be seen by their primary care physician for 3 consecutive days for their health.
And although the association deemed it a necessity, it was an embarrassing requirement according to you. The Hunterâs Association had done a survey and discovered that many of their employees suffered from high levels of stress because they were isolated and lacked much-needed human contact. To combat this, they made it mandatory to get physical contact by a medical professional every month.
But when all the fancy jargon was pushed aside, all the hunters called it the same thing - medical masturbation. It had become wildly popular amongst both men and women hunters, eagerly marking the days on their calendar for when they could come in. When you heard about the rule, you wished the earth would open up and swallow you whole. You had tried talking to Jenna to insist that you were indeed taking care of yourself in that aspect, thanks to your trusted vibrator, but she had shaken her head no.Â
âWe need documentation. Iâm subject to it, and so is everyone else in my order.â Defeated, youâd walked out of Jennaâs office before remembering another mortifying fact with a jolt. Your primary care physician was Zayne.Â
Your childhood friend, your trusted cardiologist, stoic and calm, who remained reserved during your general checkups, was going to be your medical masturbator. You had almost turned yourself into a ball on the floor, tweaked out at the insanity of it all. Although Zayne was your general physician, you had a separate gynecologist, and apart from asking if youâd had your annual PAP smear, Zayne had left that part of your anatomy unquestioned. It didnât help that you were attracted to him, and sure, if heâd asked you out on a date, you would have been more than happy to let him inspect you all he wanted down there.
But this clinical setting, enforced by your organization was a little too much to bear. Wondering how to tackle this situation, you wander over to Tara who was humming as she made her medical bookings on her phone app. âIsnât this exciting?â she squeals as she sees you. âGod knows the dating pool is thin right now. This is just what I needed!â
Taraâs primary care physician was a woman, and you wondered if that was a pro or a con. On the one hand, dropping your panties for a woman doctor seemed less unnerving than for a man. But if you had a preference for men, would it work against your arousal? You shook your head at your ridiculous musings and focused on talking to Tara. âAre you really that excited about this?â
âYou have no idea!â Tara taps her feet as she talks to you.Â
âAnd youâre ok about having a woman stimulate you?â You probe, trying to gauge Taraâs reaction. Tara giggles and lightly pats your shoulder.Â
âI donât know but the idea is kind of hot. I mean, getting it on in a doctorâs office? Besides if I donât like it, I can change the doctor the next time.â
Her words hit you like a ton of bricks. âYou can change your doctor?â
âFor this yes, the app gives you an option since it involves showing off a lot of intimate areas. You have to be able to trust your doctor right?â
You logged into the app, finding the little button to request a change in doctors, but for some reason, the page kept refreshing and crashing. With a sigh, you decide to get the worst of it over with and call Zayne, hoping he can make the change for you on his end. His voice is cool and professional when he answers your call.
âYes?â
âSo, you must have heard aboutâŠthe new regulation?â you had put forth nervously.
âI am aware of it, yes.âÂ
âWell, for obvious reasons, I would like a different doctor.âÂ
Zayne smoothly says, âOf course. Patient comfort is always first. Do you have a doctor in mind?â
âMaybe my gynecologist? I tried doing it in the app but it keeps crashing.â Thereâs a moment of silence and you can hear Zayneâs fingers tapping away at his keyboard before a low hum leaves his end of the line.
âThere appears to be a problem.â
âProblem?â youâd parrotted back.
âYes. Because so many people are booking appointments at the same time, most of the available doctors are already taken. Including your gynecologist.âÂ
It felt like watching a bird crashing into a window in slow motion, that brief moment of hope that it wouldnât hit the glass shattering in an instant. âOh.â
Thereâs a pause before Zayne delicately says, âIâm sorry but it looks like you will have to make those appointments with me for this month. 3 of them according to the regulation. Hopefully, you can make the change for next month.â His voice sounded slightly apologetic.
âWonât it be weird given that we know each other personally?â The question had fallen from your lips before you could stop yourself.Â
âI promise not to treat you any differently than any of my other patients who are coming in for this inspection. I understand this may be a little unexpected, but I assure you I did a term of gynecology during my internship.â
A tinge of mirth carried over in his voice and you canât help but make a noise of embarrassment. âZayne, please!â His laugh was dry but not unkind, and you canât help but want to hide your face even though he couldnât see you.Â
âDonât worry too much. But I do advise you to make the appointments soon. My schedule is filling up rapidly.â
With those words, heâd disconnected the call and you were left wondering if an unknown god from another planet had cursed your existence.Â
And changing doctors had proven to be more difficult than youâd thought. The entire organization seemed to be having a single thought. They had made appointments in the app almost halfway into the year, essentially blocking you from being able to do anything about your situation. Now on your third month with Zayne, you watch as he checks his notes from your last session, feeling like you want to scamper from the room.
The last two sessions had been incredibly stimulating, your arousal heightened by the fact you were attracted to Zayne. Youâd never considered having someone watch as you touched yourself but found that youâd enjoyed it, at least, when it was him. He had remained professional, but youâd avoided him these last two months, save for when you had to get your monthly cardiac profile. He reads his notes from his computer as he prepares for your session.Â
âPreferred device for stimulation still a vibrator, with a large, rounded, flexible head?â His eyes remain on his screen and youâre grateful for him giving you this smidgen of privacy.Â
âYes.â
âPreference for the doggystyle position still?âÂ
Your face burns. âYes.â
âStill consenting for verbal stimulation?â
You nod your head.
âAnd still consenting for internal vaginal stimulation?â You make a noise of consent, squeezing your thighs together, your panties uncomfortably chafing against your already swollen pussy.Â
âAll right, I have everything I need.â He logs off and removes his lab coat, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing his well-corded arms, and your mouth almost waters at the sight of them. Clearing your throat, you shyly reach into your bag and pull out the vibrator in question, which he takes from you and clamps into a stand, adjusting it over the examination table youâd be on. A bottle of lube awaits on the tray next to the table and you swallow as he finishes the setup.Â
âWhenever youâre ready,â he says in that deep voice, and feeling like your fingers are wrapped in thick woolen mittens, you reach behind you to untie the hospital gown youâre wearing, and it falls to the floor with a swoosh, your nipples pebbling under the sudden chill. A small set of sensors were taped to your chest and on the sides of your forehead, essential medical devices to ensure your orgasm was satisfactory. Unperturbed, Zayne gestures to the table and you make your way onto it, letting your feet settle in the stirrups as he settles on a stool between your legs, pulling on latex gloves before gently spreading your folds apart. You stare up at the ceiling as he does his initial checkup.
âLabia look healthy, no signs of trauma or abnormal discharge,â he murmurs, then runs a finger down the edge of the fold that separates your inner and outer lips, causing your core to clench involuntarily. You hold still, knowing very well he saw the action, holding your breath, letting out a little sigh as he lets go.Â
âNormal reaction to stimuli, already semi-aroused,â he says, trashing the gloves and making another note on his computer. He glances over at you, leaning back uncertainly on the table. âYou may begin.â
You swallow, then carefully turn onto your hands and knees, crawling towards the head of the table, grabbing the bottle of lube and squeezing the viscous liquid onto the head of the vibrator, avoiding eye contact as your breasts sway under the motion, nipples painfully hard from anticipation. You could feel Zayneâs gaze but canât bring yourself to look up. Even though this was the third time, it hadnât gotten easier, stripping naked and pleasuring yourself in his office.Â
Once the rounded head of the vibrator is slick, you turn, the chill of the lube against your heated membranes causing more blood to flow into your already engorged nub, and run your moist slit across the surface to spread the liquid onto your slickened folds. Your hand fumbles for the little remote control and with a buzz, the vibrator turns on at the lowest setting. You click the button a few more times until it gets to the speed you liked, then fail to hold back a moan as the sensations pleasurably begin to take hold in your clit.Â
The first time you had done this, nervousness had made you set the vibrator on the highest possible setting hoping to get a quick orgasm and sprint out of the office. Unfortunately, the sensors relayed this information into Zayneâs medical record that your climax had been unsatisfactory, and you had endured being lectured by him with the medical gown loosely draped on your body, your rear open to the cold office air.Â
His tone wasnât unkind but it hadnât helped you feel better either. âIt helps neither of us if you rush this. The whole purpose of this examination is to ensure youâre relaxing. I know itâs embarrassing but if you fail to have a proper orgasm, Iâll have to make you repeat the process until I get data that says otherwise.â
âThe sensors are-â
âThe only way to measure anything. Without involving another person anyway.â
His words had left you gobsmacked and your retort had died in your mouth. After that incident, you had learned. Even with the chagrin of having him watch you, you had learned to take your time and let the feelings build, leading to incredibly savory climaxes that made your body squirm from the aftershocks.Â
Your hips sway, setting up a rhythm to brush your sensitive slit onto the head, letting it vibrate from cunt to clit, the lube aiding the frictionless sliding and making your core drip. Quiet noises of pleasure leave your throat as help yourself, arching your back and changing the curvature of your ass to maximize the sensations, then when the perfect pattern emerges, you let out a keening sigh, and try to remain still, letting the vibrator work its magic.Â
Zayne, who has been quietly observing the computer this entire time, observing the spikes relayed from the sensors, asks, âHave you found your optimal pleasure form?â
âYes,â you gasp, the timbre of his voice sending an arrow of lust into the deepest parts of your clenching core. You knew what was about to come next. The sound of Zayneâs desk chair moving, followed by the snap of latex gloves as he pulled a fresh pair onto those beautiful hands. He approaches the examination table and takes the bottle of lube you had set aside earlier, a wet squelching noise issuing from it as he squeezes it over his gloved hand, gathering the fluid on his index and middle fingers. He leans over to whisper in your ears; the verbal stimulation has begun.
The humiliating reveal that you had a heavy praise kink had come up during your initial session and despite your insistence that it wasnât necessary, Zayne, the ever-diligent worker, had made a note in your profile, and heâd been fulfilling it each time. A tickle of hot breath near your ear, before he murmurs, âAre you enjoying yourself?â
The hum of the vibrator in the background coupled with his voice makes your breath catch in your throat. You nod, knowing you didnât have it in you to form coherent words.Â
âThatâs a good patient. Good patients listen to their doctors you know. And youâre doing a wonderful job.â
Your hips snap back to push your clit against the rubber pad, letting out a whimper of pleasure, the action pushing your ass up higher, revealing your pathetically drooling cunt, fluttering with the dissatisfaction of being unfilled.Â
âAre you ready?â He waits for your consent and you manage a husky, âmm hmâ.
âGood girl. Take a breath.â
You inhale, trying to relax, then let out an uninhibited moan as Dr. Zayne inserts his middle finger into your needy cunt, the ring of muscles offering no resistance to the probing digit. He gently thrusts a few times, before curling the tip of his finger up into the delicate patch of nerves on your upper wall, the smooth come hither motion awakening a new level of pleasure in your body. Your fingers tighten on the edges of the table, sobbing, trying not to scream at the feelings that threatened to explode from you. He keeps up the gentle assault before asking, âAre you ready for another one?â
âYesâŠâ your voice comes out shakily, knowing you desired more than just his fingers, but that you would never get to experience it.Â
âPerfect. So well behaved, taking exactly what I give you.â Zayneâs sensual voice floods your ear before his index pushes into you, the thickness of both his fingers sending you into overdrive. Your walls clench welcomingly around him, inciting an exciting pull of liquid heat in your abdomen, the muscles tensing in anticipation for the exquisite release you knew was about to occur.Â
Feeling your inhibitions abandon you as you are stroked closer to orgasm your self-control slips and his name falls from your lips as he pushes over the edge.
âZayneâŠâ some partially functioning confine in the back of your brain registers what you had just involuntarily purred, but the spasms rocking your core, those gratifying waves of delight flooding your body made it easier to ignore it as your being is reduced to a pliant mess of pleasure. His fingers ease up as the fluttering in your pussy calms down, your clit pulsating weakly as the final vestiges of pleasure are wrung from your body.Â
With a wet noise, his fingers leave your moist hole, the glove coated with your juices and the lubricant. Awareness finally comes crashing around you as you realize what you had uttered in the throes of passion.Â
âIâŠI didnâtâŠI wasnât in controlâŠâ You try to find a way to explain, to let him know you had very little choice in the matter of sobbing his name as you orgasmed, but everything feels flat, almost on the fine line between explaining and insulting.Â
âThereâs no need.â Almost as if heâs read your mind, Zayne matter-of-factly redirects the conversation. âItâs not uncommon to blurt out things during climax. Some people swear, and others call out names. It was a very normal reaction considering I was the one in the room with you.â
He throws the gloves in the trash and goes to check the computer, to ensure the sensors had given him the information he needed before starting the second round of the appointment.
âOh.â You say quietly as he sits at his desk, feeling dejected. Although relieved he wasnât making a big deal out of it, you canât help but feel disappointed with his reaction. Shouldnât a man be flattered when a woman cried out his name when she came? Maybe he really was treating you strictly as a patient. And here you were, pussy exposed and spread after being probed by his dextrous fingers, mooning over him like a high school girl. Perhaps the limit of your relationship with him was in fact, doctor and patient, the childhood friends aspect fading.Â
So there was no romance here at all. You had a crush on him, and he was doing his job. Reality sucks. You sniff and suddenly feel cheap, and get out of the doggystyle position and try to find the hospital gown to preserve some of your modesty. Zayne glances over at your sudden movements.
âAre you cold? I can get you a blanket.â
âIâm fine.â You try to sound normal.Â
âYour records show that you usually rest about 10 minutes before you are ready for the next round. Do you feel like that will be the case this time too?â
You find the gown and drag it up to your chin, covering your body as you lay back on the table. âYeah. Actually a little sooner today maybe. I have somewhere to be.â
âYou canât rush these things. Your body will cum when it wants to. A forced orgasm doesnât promote anything beneficial.â
âWell can we find a way for this to happen quickly and in compliance with the sensors?â Youâre trying not to let your frustration show, the pleasantness of your orgasm fading. âI donât think I have the patience to do two more rounds.â
Zayne listens to you impassively, but those amber eyes flecked with green had an underlying intensity you couldnât place. âYou donât have the patience to do two more rounds?â He gets up and comes over to you. âYou want to just leave then?â He approaches the edge of the table and thereâs tension in his jaw. Perplexed, you look at him, his reaction unexpected.Â
âNo, Iâm sorry, I know I canât leave because of compliance and all that.â
âCompliance,â Zayne mutters under his breath before grasping your chin and forcing you to look at him, a gasp leaving your throat.Â
âYouâre getting frustrated because you have to do this a few times every month while being supervised? Do you have any idea what I have to do before you come in for these sessions?â His voice is a growl and you clam up, shocked by this aggressive display of expression from him.
âEvery month I have to remain professional as you come in, pleasure yourself, and then leave. I have to endure seeing your beautiful body bare in front of me and control all my impulses to touch you, to not overstep my limitations as your doctor. I pleasure myself remembering the noises you make and ensure Iâm well spent before coming in to do your appointments. You sit there, acting like itâs hard for you, but do you have any idea what you do to me?â
One of his knees is on the table, and heâs looming over you making you feel like a tiny animal caught in his fury. âItâs torture, to watch you. Youâre not like the other patients I see. You never have been. Because with you, I always feel like Iâm on the verge of losing control. Do you know how difficult it is to not do things to you that arenât specified on your medical record? To have my fingers so intimately inside you, feel every little drop of pleasure clenching around my fingers, knowing at the end I canât have you to myself? To hear you call my name and know that you only see me as your doctor?âÂ
Your face is a bright shade of red but you canât look away from his face. His teeth are gritted, and when you dare to glance down, you see the noticeable bulge that has formed between his legs. He follows your glance and clicks his tongue, letting go of your chin.Â
âI know I crossed a boundary today. Itâs all right. You can go. Iâll reschedule you with another doctor. I know you didnât want me in the first place.â
Your mind is a blur as you quickly reach out to grab his hand, your heart hammering wildly in your chest. His admission was like a prayer answered, and you werenât going to meek about this. His breath hitches as he feels you pulling at his hand and gives you a look of uncertainty. Your lips part but the words you want to say refuse to come out.Â
âDamn it,â he whispers ferally before his mouth captures yours in a rough kiss. It was wild and demanding, a contrast to the reserved, patient man he usually was. Youâre swept up in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the taste of his tongue, and the softness of his lips. When you break apart, his hand cups your cheek, his eyes searching your face.
âThis isnât just because of the session right?â He asks keenly and you realize what heâs asking you. Heâd been aching for you before this whole stupid policy came into place. The same way youâd been longing for him.Â
âNo, itâs not. I had a crush on you back when you became my doctor to check on my heart condition.â A sigh of relief leaves him before he tenderly presses his forehead to yours, and youâre caught up in the sweetness of the moment.Â
âI just had to be sure.â
Boldly, you raise your head, delighted when he meets you, pulled back into his kiss, your tongues sliding over each other, your fingers tangling into his hair, scratching the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you.Â
You gasp as he breaks the kiss to drag his tongue down the column of your throat, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses to the heated flesh, your blood humming in your veins as your eyes flutter closed. He pulls away the gown and pulls your perked nipple into his mouth, and you revel in the jolt of pleasure it brings you, each suckle felt in your clit which had already swollen up again in need. His fingers capture your other nipple, softly tweaking and pulling it and drawing little whines of desire from your throat.Â
Your hand finds the junction between his legs and cups the heavy bulge, drawing a groan from him, palming him through his slacks, feeling it grow and tent the fabric under your ministrations. A low guttural sound leaves him and he gets off the table, and you almost protest until you see him dragging the small wheeled stool from earlier towards the table. He settles down on it, looping his arms around the tops of your thighs and pulling you closer to the table's edge until your feet find the stirrups again.Â
âStay open for me darling,â he instructs, his eyes glittering and you shiver as you feel his breath against your swollen folds. You squeak as he pushes your folds apart with his nose, inhaling your scent, his eyes growing dark with lust. âYou smell delicious. I always wondered. Had to stop myself from sniffing my gloves after you climaxed. Not professional you know.âÂ
The musky tang of your pussy fills his senses, and his tongue darts out and dips into your slit, finding the swollen bud and licking it with just the right pressure that makes your toes curl and stars pop into your vision.Â
Your hand rests on his head, tugging his beautiful dark locks, his name falling from your lips without barriers. Your hips rock against him, moaning, then let a sob as his lips suction around your clit. His fingers, free from the gloves at last, probe your entrance, scissoring inside to prepare you for what was to come before they curl up into that gummy patch that he knew too well.Â
The sensations flood you, and the sheer knowledge of knowing you had Zayne touching you this way, unbound by the usual rules was sending you into a frenzy. Incoherent noises leave your mouth, crying out hotly as he teases the orgasm from you, your body shivering from the intensity.Â
He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and takes in your appearance, so soft and satisfied on his table, a dreamy look in your eyes.
âAre you prepared for the after?â he asks, you nod, more than eager to experience him. A sly smile crosses his face before he reaches over into the little chest of drawers by the table and pulls out a condom.Â
âHospitals have free condoms. It would be impractical to not use one when itâs on hand.â He explains seeing your questioning look and stands to undo his pants. You watch curiously as his cock is finally freed, eyes widening as it faces you, so impressive and veiny, standing proudly with a slight curve in its length. His pubes were neatly trimmed at the base, ebony curls visible behind the shaft. As he starts to roll on the condom, you feel your whole body heating up in anticipation.Â
He leans down to kiss you before taking your feet and resting them on his shoulders, his cock at the perfect angle to enter you. As he sinks into your welcoming heat, you let out a sigh of longing, feeling the delicious stretch of muscle as he pushes up inside you, gasping as you feel his full length sheathe itself. As he bottoms out, his eyes close in bliss, hardly daring to believe that after all this time, he is finally getting to fulfill this private dream.Â
Each stroke has him brushing against your gspot and kissing your cervix as he paces himself, feeling the primal urge to take you roughly and selfishly calling at his self-control. A growl leaves his throat as you whimper, straining towards him as the both of you struggle to keep a grip on reality. He feels the seductive way your walls clench around him, hears the soft noises you make, sees your face contort in pleasure with every roll of his hips.Â
âOh you feel so good,â he pants hotly, glasses askew, almost at the tip of his nose as he thrusts. âClenching me so needily. Gonna milk me dry.â
Your response is a shuddering whimper, your back arching greedily to feel all of him, creating the perfect curvature to brush your clit against the base of his erection with each push of his hips. He feels the little bud on his heated skin, your combined fluids dripping onto his shaft, slickening the bundle of nerves with each stroke.Â
âBe a good girl and cum on my cock the way you do on my fingers.â Zayneâs voice is husky as he tries to hold on, damned if he came before you. âI know you want to. I can feel the way your walls are spasming. They always do this pattern before you orgasm.â
The fact that he had memorized this knowledge of you was too much and you let go, your voice filling the room as you climax. Zayneâs hips stutter as he feels you around his length, pussy fluttering so him. His pace quickens, the sound of slapping skin becoming more and more urgent, his balls hitting your ass each time as he chases his orgasm.Â
A shiver passes through his body as it happens and he buries himself in your warmth. You hum in satisfaction as you feel his cock twitch and pulse inside you as he spills his load. He pants, sweat on his forehead as he bends down to kiss you again, carefully lowering your legs which burn from the stretch as they settle on the stirrups.Â
Threading your fingers through his hair, you brush your noses together, smiling shyly at him as he smirks, his eyes closing as he catches his breath.
âCan I see you outside of my office sometime?â he asks and you laugh at the invitation.Â
âAre you asking me out on a date after having sex just once?â you tease as he grips the base of the condom and slides out, your pussy feeling the loss keenly.Â
âI have been wanting to for a while. I was just wondering if I was misreading the signals. But I think I have a solid answer now.â He helps you sit up and cradles your body against his, idly stroking your skin, before gently removing the sensors off your body.Â
âLetâs get dressed,â he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead after a moment of cozy silence, and the both of you hunt down your clothes. As he fixes his tie, Zayne passes by his computer and lets out an amused huff.Â
âSomething funny?â you ask as you button your blouse.
âThe sensors definitely gave enough information to make anyoneâs head spin.â You walk over and snort as you see the window, full of sharp spikes.Â
âWell, at least I am guaranteed you had a good time.â Zayneâs eyes sparkle mischievously as he pulls you in for another kiss.Â
âIâm not changing my doctor,â you reassure him as you pull away. Thereâs amusement in his gaze when he replies.Â
âOh, definitely not. I think if the Hunterâs Association ever sees this record, theyâll heavily advise you to remain with the same healthcare professional.âÂ
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#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#lads#lads zayne#zayne x mc#zayne x reader smut#zayne x reader#zayne smut#zayne imagines#lads zayne x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x you#zayne x you#zayne angst#zayne fic#lads smut#lads angst#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut#l&ds smut#l&ds scenarios#lads scenarios#ncs#ncs scribbles
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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didnât knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying âI am a manâ. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like âI know weâre the privileged ones butâŠâ, âI donât want to sound like I have it bad butâŠâ, âWomen obviously have it worse, but last timeâŠâ and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didnât downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us werenât on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were âstrong enoughâ to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldnât stay in this body any longer because it wasnât mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and Iâm almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. Itâs the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I wonât tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes âI started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actorâ, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now Iâd just have more acne, Iâd have longer hair and still look like I donât know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
Itâs okay to take your time. Itâs your body, itâs your journey, if you donât feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, itâs okay to take a break, itâs okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didnât lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, donât let them.
Itâs perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that donât feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesnât make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You donât have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far youâve come already. It doesnât have to show, youâre not made to be a spectacle, youâre human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say âOh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because itâs weirdâ ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It wonât be a waste. It can help people. Or it wonât, and even then, if it helped you, thatâs enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
#ftm#ftx#genderqueer#transgender#lgbtqiaplus#lgbtqia#queer#trans#trans man#transmasc#trans masculinity#transmasculine#queer masculinty#trans men#trans writing#trans writers#trans pride#transblr#queer writers#queer artist#queer community#queer pride#lgbtq#non binary#genderfluid#lgbtq community#enby#enby pride#trans nonbinary#gor3sigil.txt
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