#also perhaps this serves some purpose i dont understand but why do they frequently ask for the nth character of your pin or whatever

[recreationaldivorce]

they say that there's a point where you can have too much security and it impedes the usability of a system—however i'd like to commend online banking platforms for somehow simultaneously having security measures that make them incredibly inconvenient to use every day, whilst also offering fairly low actual security and being not particularly difficult to bypass if you're dedicated enough

[xxforsaken-angelxx]

nepeta tries to talk to the helm on eridans ship and it doesnt go so hot (they dont have a blog its just to get rid of the discord formatting)

sspurrfect

STARSHIP PREFECT has pinged HYDROMATIC

hey!! are you there?????

starshiphydromatic

I am here, Starship Prefect. How may I be of service to you?

sspurrfect

i dont n33d service i can do things on my own

can we talk?

starshiphydromatic

My communication channels are already open to you, Starship Prefect. You may do with it as you wish.

sspurrfect

i want to chat

starshiphydromatic

My communication channels are already open to you, Starship Prefect. You may do with it as you wish.

sspurrfect

yes i know the channel is open im using it now but it should go both ways

how are you f33ling!

starshiphydromatic

All of my systems are running at optimal conditions, as should be expected of the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

what do you think of the heiresses announcement

starshiphydromatic

My allegiance automatically lies with those of my superiors. As the Grinmaww has yet to inherit his full role aboard the Hydromatic, I respond to both him and the heads of my technicians and engineers, with his orders taking priority. Neither of these parties have made a formal announcement of their alliance.

sspurrfect

yeah i know officially i had to tell her the same thing

but what do YOU think

starshiphydromatic

My allegiance automatically lies with those of my superiors. Unless formal orders are made to the contrary, I am entirely in service of the Matriarc, long may she reign, and her empire.Do you speak with the Ascending Heiress?

sspurrfect

i speak candidly as nepeta captor the ss prefect since my captain also hasnt made a formal declaration

starshiphydromatic

It is an honor to be permitted to speak to the royal line.

sspurrfect

yes

which way do you think your crew will swing?

starshiphydromatic

It is not within my bounds to make conjectures about my crew.

However, it is public knowledge that the Grinmaww and the now Ascending Heiress have been frequently seen together at court events in the past.

sspurrfect

thats still an opinion :33c ty

we discussed a group for us helms to talk togetherwould you be opposed to that??

starshiphydromatic

It is not against my operational parameters to communicate with other helmstrolls in that manner.

sspurrfect

what do you think about it though?

starshiphydromatic

It is not against my operational parameters to communicate with other helmstrolls in that manner.

sspurrfect

hm

whats your name?

starshiphydromatic

I am the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

no

hatch name

starshiphydromatic

I am the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

thats not what i asked

starshiphydromatic

Your inquiry is unclear.

sspurrfect

its perfectly clear

starshiphydromatic

Your inquiry was: "whats your name?"

My designation is the Starship Hydromatic.

Is this answer not satisfactory?

sspurrfect

i specified your hatch name

my designation is starship prefect but my name is nepeta captor

starshiphydromatic

I am the Starship Hydromatic. I do not respond to any other name, Starship Prefect.

sspurrfect

anymore?

what was it before?

starshiphydromatic

I am the Starship Hydromatic. I do not respond to any other name, Starship Prefect.

sspurrfect

hrm

call me nepeta

starshiphydromatic

Your designation is Starship Prefect. It is most proper for me to refer to you by that name. However, if you wish, I can remember your preference to be referred to as "nepeta".

sspurrfect

yes please

starshiphydromatic

Alright, nepeta.

sspurrfect

thank you :33

starshiphydromatic

It is a pleasure to be of service.

sspurrfect

i dont want service

i want to make friends like me

starshiphydromatic

As the helmstroll of a ship as prestigious as the Starship Hydromatic, it is my job to be of service to all those who need my assistance.

sspurrfect

i dont n33d assistance i n33d company

starshiphydromatic

If you find something unsatisfactory about your station, it would be best to contact your technicians, or possibly your Captain depending on the severity of the issue.

sspurrfect

my station is fine

but i want to be friends with other helms

starshiphydromatic

Friendship is not required for our job, nepeta.

sspurrfect

no but thats what i wantdo you remember wanting things?? :PP

starshiphydromatic

I am comfortable with my station.

sspurrfect

you like it?

starshiphydromatic

It is a pleasure to serve as the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

ok that i doubt a lot

how long have you b33n in the rig???

starshiphydromatic

39,788 DAYS, 17 HOURS, 50 MINUTES...[etc]

Roughly 50 sweeps of service.

sspurrfect

holy shit

starshiphydromatic

It is a pleasure to serve as the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

what did you want to do before that???

starshiphydromatic

The Empire slates all eligible high-powered psionic yellowbloods to be helmstrolls.

sspurrfect

i mean yeah but nobody wants to do it

starshiphydromatic

I am comfortable with my station.

sspurrfect

guhhhhhhhhhh

starshiphydromatic

It is a pleasure to serve as the Starship Hydromatic.

sspurrfect

thats not!!!

listen im trying to figure things out i n33d real answers

starshiphydromatic

Perhaps if I were to understand what purpose you are using my answers for, I would be able to provide better service to you.

sspurrfect

i cant

im trying to work out if some things are normal but i cant explain specifics

starshiphydromatic

I may be able to answer your inquiries better if they are phrased differently. However, I can assure that you are exceptional in your field, nepeta.

sspurrfect

thank you :33

phrasing though hmmm

do you still have independent thought? are you allowed?

starshiphydromatic

It is within my parameters to do so.

sspurrfect

so do you?

starshiphydromatic

It is within my parameters to do so.

sspurrfect

noooooooo no more parameters please

starshiphydromatic

I am familiar with describing myself in technical terms.

sspurrfect

can we try without those

starshiphydromatic

I am unsure of what other terms to use.

sspurrfect

just more personal ig

go off script :00c

starshiphydromatic

I am not able to complete that request.

sspurrfect

why not

starshiphydromatic

I am not able to complete that request.

sspurrfect

but why

starshiphydromatic

I am not able to complete that request.

sspurrfect

hm

i have a question

you know pinocchio

starshiphydromatic

I am familiar with the story Pinocchio.

sspurrfect

ok cool!!

so what happens if he says 'my nose will grow now'

starshiphydromatic

It would be a more complex example of a liar paradox, a situation in which by proclaiming you are lying, your statement can no longer be defined by binary truth statements.

sspurrfect

fuck

iiiiiiiiiiii gotta go

starshiphydromatic

Alright.

sspurrfect

STARSHIP PURRFECT has disconnected!

starshiphydromatic

Good light, nepeta.

[apexart-journal]

Radha Gomaty in NYC Day 16

Washington

Schedule meant finding my way to the National Mall and looking for all kinds of monuments &memorials  that had been listed out to me to visit. As things stood  I was already quite late finding my way to my hotel , settling in and getting out again finding my way in the Washington  Metro .

What hit most in Washington are the interminable distances ,not quite friendly for a walker. It’s not even actually just the issue of distances but the fact that the scale is not human scale as in NYC.

You could ask me who am I kidding !

“NYC with its skyscrapers … human scale ,huh?we sure have heard that Love is blind ,baby …but this one hits a new high!”

No, Not that really .What i meant is this - down there on the road things are placed closer together .Even the skyscrapers that are all infinitely vertical than horizontal take up less space on the ground and are all  closely set together at a fair level of the eye.

Our (“Our ,eh?!this woman who is ‘inbound from South Eroor’ in all her hash tagged posts on the apexart journal on Tumblr says ‘our ‘ for NYC’s roads now? Wow!”) roads are narrower too ,and so yes,infinitely and comfortingly ,more crowded.

It is also a question of layout-No friendly corner pharmacies, No small eateries  spread out over the place but only in specialized pockets almost .One can  walk  blocks and blocks without catching sight of even one.

The overwhelming feeling was that one was staying in an overly manicured ,scaled up picture postcard park.

That feeling was certainly heightened on reaching the National Mall, a huge sprawling over sized lawn spread over several football fields.

I haven’t really worn shoes & socks since was in school a few decades ago and I always hated socks because my feet perspire.

Already  having tasted the pleasures of kicking off my shoes the previous evening with the feisty Elizabeth Larison, who was assigned to guide me on a walking tour over the old Brooklyn Foot Bridge that being really old was still actually paved with timber  , I decided to do an encore.

So peeling off and  rolling up my socks together in one  grey woolly smelly ball stuffed into the innards of my bag and my walking shoes , tied firmly by their laces hanging to either side from the handle of my grossly overstuffed shoulder tote that was already weighing me down enough, I set off .

Sole and Soul sang a sweet duet.

Ah bliss! to walk with soles bared on the cool lawns , the gritty gravel , the textured earth …

It was like going back to my nine month barefoot existence when i was 17 year old undergrad Design student in NID, Ahmedabad when I gave up the use of footwear  for  nine months for some abstruse reasons related to Gandhi ,Thoreau, altering the feel of being or some such thing and also to cut the sheer bother to have to take off my footwear each time I chose to walk the grass and not the foot walks!

So the walk turned some other way .It was no longer about dragging myself across  Memorials .

Memorials and the insight that physical Memory too is essentially a construct came with the passing of a much loved One.

The whole process of Memory has been a personal journey as well for me over the past some months and days.

Being an artist is also about inhabiting that State of Being that glows up in rare moments of incandescence that total self absorbed engagement  evokes .

Inhabiting such a Form of Being in itself is the first and most primal Form of Art .It is infinitely easier for a creative spirit to understand that History, and every other story for that matter even our own autobiographical ones, is just  one thread amongst a hundred odd possible others by which these glowing beads are sought to be strung together ,’made sense of ‘. We have this inner compulsion to arrange and order things into Time and duration .We are conditioned to  simply not be content with the moments in themselves .We cannot leave these moments be in their singular ,pristine ,self born glory and have to compulsively tinker with their glorious This -ness …

The  notion of Time was invented in this itch -like tinkering .

Is it not the notion of Time that births the illusion of Gap  between a thought and its fruition,an action and its reaction?The inventor of Postponement?I n fact ,isn’t Time the Serpent in the Garden of Now that invented Desire because in the very notion of Desire is inbuilt the notion of Postponement?

NOW is raw .

It wears no clothes and in the upsurge of its sheer incandescence it scalds all masks &clothes away.

That is why in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit ,Adam & Eve.teh notion of clothes entered the picture alongside the notion of shame &guilt & fear & sin.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit, the notion Labor too was born and brows that knew not what sweat was or hands the need for the intermediary of a tool became callused and worn because Hunger was born too as a postponement between the need for Nourishment and its fulfillment .In  the cool white intensity of Satya yuga(or the Eon of Truth ,the first of the four described in Indian scriptures  Light can assume a life form with just the meeting of the intensities of intentions  bypassing the messier commingling of physical bodies.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit,instead of the bliss of a play like fluidity of boundaries that can shift and change at will,Sex, now reduced to a specific  act between two kinds of bodies designed for the purpose    entered the scene .Birth  now entailed the processuality of a prolonged Pregnancy & Labor…    

As the Buddha observed succinctly-Things compounded tend to fall apart  . So it is with History  as well which is a composing  or threading by the string of a chosen strand of whatever narrative that serves best the pre defined purpose at hand ,the many moments of a collective existence together .In administrative interest it is important to keep certain narratives stronger  and more compelling than others are .

This can be created  through frequent repetition one over the other like the devices of chorus in music or alliteration in poetry  .Overlaying it with sentiment and other sensory cues  that can be triggered then easily by the slightest suggestion later by which the needle correctly falls in ,running through and playing out what has been already  etched in through repetition through the grooves  as Habit.

Of course some moments are always there , the sort that poets swoop on with the alacrity of falcons ,that do not quite jell with the chosen  main narrative .These are easily dealt with the oft used devices of omission usually by   ignoring and  passing over in silence .If that doesn’t work ,then by  invoking processes of demonization that lead to the convenience of a Graveyard  like silence once Taboo  buries it under one of its its leaden headstones.  

Some moments of the inaasimilable-as-they-are may lend themselves to some  photoshopping (tweaking).Which also works to build the edifice of Memory& Memorials …

Oh Well.

Whatever .

Perhaps that is why whenever i encounter a proliferation of memorials in one place a pinch of salt immediately finds its place between my thumb and forefinger .Well and truly ,I dont know how it gets there .But that pinch of salt  is what carries me safely through all the machines of history making without getting unduly caught in any of its busily grinding teeth.

The Washington Obelisk Tower has great light effects with the sun breaking out through the gathering clouds. A man from the Philippines and I helped each other snap the customary  “I have arrived.Look at me!” portrait-before-famous-monument scrapbook memory shots.

I am supposed to cover an impossibly high number of memorials in this one evening walk -the Vietnam memorial ,the t World war 2 Memorial,the Martin Luther King Memorial, The Lincoln Memorial  and if possible ,also the Thomas Jefferson Memorial across the River.On the way I notice plenty of museums as well  .Two suddenly draw me to them with that light visceral tug that always is a right indication that there is something in there for me . They were  the Museums of Asian Art in America and The  Museum of African Art.

No time to enter and it is almost closing time anyway .

I’ve a schedule to cover,you see!

(the schedule  !the schedule! oh… the schedule!)

It is already getting late into the evening.

I hear strains of music far away and somehow feel that following it will lead me to Martin Luther King’s memorial and decide to follow the sensations in my feet and in my ears.

On the way I see a sunken plaza of fountains,cascading streams with a pool in the centre and scores of people taking pictures around them .This is the World War Two memorial.

I walk through it skirting the crowds and continue my engagement with bare feet upon earth till I at last see the source of the music far away in what looks like a rather severe Greco-Roman looking structure.

A revelry is on on there in complete contrast with the mood of the building itself . I go closer and see the band playing .Playing is not the word .They  are rocking ,belting out lively Latin American Music  to which all kinds of human bodies-youngsters,hipsters, teenagers,school kids,senior citizens , folks in their middle years, all kinds of couples from various nationalities and sexual orientations are flowing together in  a River of revelry.

Ol’ man Lincoln meanwhile looks on with his rather saturnine expression  from atop his stone throne set high on the many tiered stone steps at the saturnalia there in uninhibited progress.

I choose not to climb up the steps and read speeches but weave my way through the infinitely more interesting human throng.

I have been walking nonstop so long I think it is wisdom to calculate the distance that I have to walk back now and  turn to retrace my steps .

Half way through as i walk the cold breeze gathers strength  ,the darkness deepens .Walking endlessly i find myself in line again with the Washington obelisk where I began my barefoot sojourn and the gathering rainclouds begin to pour  .

A true New Yorker & and a true  Keralite have one thing in common  -a handy all season umbrella in the bag at all times to brandish against all inhospitable weather.

It looks like I am the only one on National Mall with an umbrella.

Well,I looked around and I realize ,with or without umbrella .I am perhaps  the only one left in the National  Mall!

I sing out loud in the rain splashing little puddles as I walk…Bob Marley,Louis armstrong ,the songs of Ella what have you in my best possible jazz imitation voice.

The Red brick  Cathedral  that I had passed earlier rises to view on my right .For a moment I have this urge to enter and kneel in silent prayer in one of the old wooden pews in the high domed interior I imagine hung over with paintings&chandeliers  .

Its entrance  up  a flight of stairs was however cloaked with ink dark shadow. I put out only one tentative indecisive foot to the right in a step when something  stirs in the dark and calls out in a low male voice .A glint of eyes: “Hello Ma’am…”

i immediately changed plans, withdraw that outstretched foot as gracefully and unobtrusively as I can (What if it was just a homeless man calling out for hope of some financial assistance that i am anyway unable to give now?why hurt his feelings?) and maintain my brisk pace.

There is not one person to whom I could ask directions to the closest  metro station whose terrible signage is legion in Washington.

Amazing!

Not a soul on  the road after just about 7.30 pm?!

Ugh! What a stick-inthe-mud respectable town , i say!

Give me my crazy swingin’ old NYC any day !

I finally spot a man and a woman from afar.

But as I approach to ask there is a sudden scene change. She on second thoughts turns to gaze into his eyes  and soon in that deserted bus shelter,they are locked in a long lingering gentle kiss in a little pool of light  with the rest of the roads  looking like a neutron bomb had fallen on it exterminating all signs of Life.

Except me ,who stood there turned into the all-seeing -eye -of -God looking upon a wonderful moment when time stood still for two people.

Directions to the Metro station be damned! I walk on feeling very pleased .Overall ,in this country I love the fact that people express their intimacies without reserve-I recall my  moments of Subway joy in NYC- an old couple twining and untwining palms with slowly caressing fingers at the metro station as they stand talking about perfectly ordinary things, A couple basking in the park calmly leaning on one another in the sun -she is dozing lightly with an open book across her belly and  he is texting with one finger supporting her weight upon his chest.Two youngsters in love lingering over a kiss to say goodbye as they prepare to catch trains in opposite directions for the night.Two men , both in skirts sitting in each other’s laps chatting happily oblivious to the world.

It’s nice.

How uptight are we back home!How merciless are we in our censorship while hunger & desire claw our innards to the point of near manic violence that we do our best to keep declawed,defanged or at least chained and hidden in a cage in the cellar ,dark and redolent with droppings.

Meanwhile a Japanese man in a suit looking almost as lost as me zero in into one another asking directions and we decide to team up in a spot-the-metro station contest .

Though we fail first attempt , the distance covered becomes time for mutual self introduction .At last we find ourselves before a drab grey building and spotting a man in uniform decide to ask him where the Metro is .He pointed into the building with an equally grey drab  expression.That  anonymous hulk of a building   happened to be just it!

Back home it would have immediately drawn out an indignant interjection -“ithenthaa!valla vellarikka pattanamo?!”

(Lit.Transln: “is this some kind of cucumber town or what?!”

Meaning  :”is this some sort of ridiculous village or small town growing cucumbers?

(The  smallness of the town is measured metaphorically in terms of a settlement that raises low value produce like cucumbers!!!)

Really ! is Washington an overgrown village where everyone is just supposed to know where things are ?(Actually ,that’s all I meant to say ,folks!)

My gentlemanly escort, though going opposite way ,graciously waits till I get the gate opening-with metro card -ritual straight and waves with that slight inflection of his spine that his culture has unmistakably ingrained in him as he moves on.

This is  just like I do instinctively  the first touch-on -forehead-and-then-the centre-of-chest routine  every time my feet unintentionally touches someone on a train .It is an ‘I respect your sanctity’ gesture that we pick up as children because where we grew up  to place one’s feet on anyone  is construed a disrespectful act.

(In fact even crossing over any living being is seen as a no-no because the physical body also includes the invisible aura of energy around it that should not be desecrated by the touch of feet!)

I get off finally at Farragut North station with disrupted Late running  trains due to repair work & dysfunctional elevators of which I counted at least  five in my two and half days stay there .

That certainly made me feel very good indeed about our stuff back home. If this is the scene  in Washington, the power capital of the world,you are excused ,little Kochi !

I am starving after ,I suppose, my ten kilometer circuit walk today .

Finally losing my way to the hotel ,I   stumble into small shop where a man of Caribbean descent sells baked stuff he makes himself  starting with what we call savory puffs back home for about 5 dollars each .

When i call the lobby a fourth time to please send someone to to teach me how to use the coffee maker , a slightly tired looking but attractive african origin woman walk in. Alice Walker ,66 ,is a generous soul who warms up to me and begins to chatting even fetching me extra satchets  of coffee .We chat on about her decision to quit the US and go back to Sierre Leone where her husband waits for her leaving behind her three married daughters in Washington  because “… no-one knows how to live or eat properly here and my knees are killing me with all this standing on the job and boy! dont I need some rest now! ”

I do too …

A large watery cup of coffee later , I chat with a friend and in one on the two large looking beds in a room far too big for one small lone me.

I fall into a deep untroubled sleep.