#and the exploration of her finding that isn't an option

[transmasc-rose]

Aromantic Nine and alloromantic Rose exploring the extent and definition of their relationship together...

Rose, from 2005 UK and with a bad relationship under her belt, is going to have very different expectations for how their relationship is supposed to work.

The Doctor, with centuries of knowledge and experience under his belt, can't relate to that. That perspective is one he's lost.

Rose and the Doctor, both Nine and Ten, don't define what they have in the tv canon. Until Ten, she doesn't consider herself dating the Doctor, and she does seek other relationships to fulfill what she wants/needs.

Nine is jealous of that! But he let's them on the Tardis, and makes no move to stop her. Ten let's Mickey back on (with more reluctance).

Does that continue, if Nine doesn't regenerate into Ten on Satellite Five? Does it stop? Do they talk about it, come to a healthy conclusion about it, or is it an unmentioned thing in the air that never gets acknowledged?

Does Nine make concessions and act out pieces of romance for Rose's sake? Does Rose make concessions and accept that, so long as she and Nine are whatever they are, that won't be in her life, not in the form she expected?

Whatever happens, whatever they decide to do, there is going to be an element of sacrifice on either side. They aren't a perfect fit, no one is, and whether they make it work and/or choose to let things go isn't a moral question, just a facet of life.

[relicsongmel]

Iris, Miles, and their mutual "secret"

The Ace Attorney fandom is no stranger to discussions of homoerotic subtext in the game's script—pretty much everyone who's spent more than five seconds here will be able to tell you that. Screenshots of lines that imply romantic tension between same-gender characters are all over the place, to the point that many fans are drawn to the series purely by its reputation as "the gay lawyer game." Some scenes are more well-known than others, but one I find brought up fairly regularly is this conversation between Miles and Iris:

This is optional dialogue that can be triggered by presenting incorrect evidence on Iris' Psyche-Lock during the Investigation portion of Bridge to the Turnabout. The argument here is that the "secret" Iris is referring to is the same as her own: that being, a romantic interest in Phoenix Wright. Which is definitely hilarious when you consider that Iris has known Miles for less than a day and she's already reading him for filth (granted, she could have been clued in by the similarly infamous "indispensable friend" line, and she's also exceptionally good at reading people despite Miles thinking otherwise). As a Narumitsu shipper myself I am not immune to enjoying that interpretation; however, I feel like there's a lot of nuance in this scene that isn't often addressed by the fandom at large. Which is unfortunate because watering it down to just Iris calling out Miles for being the gayass he is (to be fair. she's not wrong) does a MASSIVE disservice to both of their characters, and I'll explain why.

My bone to pick with the usual analysis of this scene is mostly centered around the larger conversation to be had regarding the treatment of female characters in fandom spaces. All too often they tend to play second fiddle to the male characters, and a similar principle holds true for ships with their canonical male love interests: mostly ignored in favor of the the more popular M/M ship(s). At best these women are sidelined, at worse they are flattened into wingmen for the boys (as is frequently the case with many AA girls and Narumitsu, Iris included), and at the absolute worst they are demonized for their perceived "competition" with whatever gay ship is most popular and therefore the Only Valid One for the male characters involved (as exemplified by some very "passionate" fans that I generally try to avoid interacting with). Whenever this scene gets brought up, the focus is almost always exclusively on Miles and what the interaction says about his relationship with Phoenix; Iris is only relevant insofar as she's the one initiating Miles' Homosexual Moment™—you could replace her with almost any other character and there'd be a similar level of neglect for their role in the interaction. Only very rarely will you see attention given to what Iris' question about Miles' secret means when she is the one asking it, and what it can tell us about her relationship with Miles/what she thinks of him, and vice versa (absolutely wild how even Miles himself is often flanderized despite being the fandom's golden child). It's all too characteristic of the systemic misogyny that has plagued fandom since its inception, which is deeply frustrating to me as someone who adores Iris as much as I do (if that wasn't obvious by now). So that said, let's dive deeper into what I think the missing link is here: namely, the Iris-Miles dynamic as it pertains to their relation to Phoenix.

Iris and Miles is one of my favorite relationships to explore in the whole series—but as I've described above, unfortunately a lot of people get it wrong in my opinion. Discussion about the two is frequently centered around Narumitsu Love Drama—which is a conversation worth having, don't get me wrong—but the elements at play there aren't always represented the way I envision them, which again, is frustrating. Take the idea of potential jealousy, for instance: it's pretty standard love triangle fare that can be (and often is) quickly turned into demonization when it's used in a shipping context, character assassination be damned (re: Narumitsu fanfic authors that project their personal dislike of Feenris onto Miles via his jealousy of Iris and/or how they tend to portray Iris unfavorably). However, it's not inherently a bad thing to explore: personally, I do believe that there is mutual jealousy between the two of them. Miles might not have the full context of Iris' history when this conversation takes place, but he's emotionally intelligent enough to pick up on what Iris means to Phoenix, and vice versa. And him being a jealous hoe about it isn't out of the question when you consider that he's a bit of a loner by nature and doesn't have many close friends or outlets for socialization outside of his job. The crucial element that's sometimes missed, though, is that Miles not only lacks the self-awareness to realize he's a jealous hoe...he's also a self-sabotaging jealous hoe.

And the same can be said for Iris, who is similarly introverted and doesn't often leave her home at Hazakura Temple.

The whole reason Miles is peering into Iris' heart in the first place can be found in this exchange, after he breaks her Psyche-Lock:

Miles uses the Magatama in order to gain the answers he needs to bring the truth to light and get Iris acquitted, and he does so for the express purpose of reuniting her with Phoenix so they can find closure—in fact, he reiterates this to her multiple times. He obviously recognizes how Phoenix is suffering from what happened between them (I'd argue he sympathizes with Iris' plight as well) and has resolved to do what he can to help him heal, but there's no reason for him to be so insistent that she rectify things with Phoenix when it does nothing but harm his own chances with him. Unless, of course...that's the whole point.

To convince Iris to reveal her secret so he doesn't have to face his own, because he thinks himself undeserving.

And Iris, noticing this because she empathizes with that feeling of unworthiness, calls him out on it in an almost uncharacteristically forward manner when she asks him what he's hiding.

Takes one to know one, indeed.

Iris highly respects Miles for taking on her defense despite the risk to his job as a prosecutor. She's willing to trust him after hearing he's a friend of Phoenix, hearing him out and letting him reason with her. She still keeps her cards close to her chest in some regards, but she's more honest with him than she's been with anyone else in her life apart from her sister. She sees his commitment to the truth and how it starkly contrasts with how she's lived her life to this point, and thinks that this is the type of partner Phoenix deserves—not someone like her, who only knows how to survive using lies and deception. She sees so much strength in him but still recognizes the insecurity lurking beneath his tenacity, which is why when he falters in his logic, she takes a leap of faith and gives him one last chance to examine his reasons for pushing the burden of his unspoken affections onto her, as if to say: "Look in the mirror. Is this really for me? Or is it for you? Do you really seek the truth for its own sake, or do you merely hope to find one truth so you might run from another?"

Her question to Miles is a gamble—a coin flip of self-sacrifice. If she loses and he presses on, she has to face the secret within her heart she's been suppressing for five years. But if she wins and he gives in to the truth in his, she has to live the rest of her life watching it unfold and knowing she threw away her chance to finally stop living in fear of her own love.

Either way, there's no escaping heartache for her anymore.

Miles and Iris both want what's best for Phoenix and prioritize their vision of his feelings over their own. However, they are also both deeply emotionally repressed people who find difficulty in being direct with their feelings, and are predisposed to self-sabotage due to childhood trauma. These tendencies may manifest in different ways for both of them, but the fact remains that such people would likely not compete for a person's affection in the traditional sense, which is exactly what we see with how Iris and Miles deflect their feelings for Phoenix. These selfless, lovestruck idiots toss that man around like a game of hot-potato because their mutual self-hatred for the ways they've harmed him has rendered them terrified of the reality of what he means to them, and desperate to find a way out of admitting to it. It's the most compelling explanation I can think of for why the usually unassuming Iris makes such a bold judgment about what Miles might be keeping locked away, and why Miles goes to such lengths to make sure she talks to Phoenix and tells him the truth—his agreement to defend her was conditional on that exact promise. They go through this whole song-and-dance of playing wingman to ignore their own feelings while still trying to bring Phoenix the happiness they think he deserves—and then they wonder why seeing Phoenix give the other one attention burns them up inside.

Because they’re dumb. And I love them.

TL;DR the Iris Psyche-Lock scene in BttT is so much more than just "haha Miles gay" and I wish people talked about it more. Also Iris and Miles are way more similar than they appear at first glance and if I think about it for too long it makes me physically ill thank you for coming to my TED talk

[diz-eaze]

THE WAY I LOVE YOU (yandere! genshin women x female reader)

; soft yandere, written in 2023, pre-sumeru pre-fontaine and pre-natlan, manipulation, unhealthy relationships. characters listed; eula, mona, beidou, ganyu, hu tao, ningguang, shenhe, yelan, ayaka, kokomi, ei, yae, lumine, sandrone, arlecchino.

; Yandere drabbles.

MAYBE YOU had just been in the wrong place and at the wrong time. It started out innocently enough, going outside the city on Mondstadt to explore more areas - because there's more to life than just your everyday city, despite how EULA may protest against it. Despite how she claims that staying in Mondstadt is the best choice.

While you certainly do respect Eula, you disagree with her views. You're not someone born to just be limited within a city - you're not.

And so, with Eula's ignorance, you set off into the dark night to venture out into the green fields. Because you'll be fine, you know that. There's going to be hilichurls milling around but it's nothing that you can't handle, hopefully - you'll just run away or hide when you see one, easy enough.

When you do encounter one, your plan to hide crumbled miserably - not knowing there was a twig in your spot, you ended up stepping on it, resulting in a loud crack and thus alerting the nearby hilichurls. Running away from them isn't an option; you're trapped in your supposed hiding spot as the monsters circle around it.

Fighting back is a possibility, but you're so weak - you don't even have a vision, let alone carry around a weapon. So pray to tell, just how exactly can you win against them?

So, you think with acceptance, this is how you die. Disobeying your dear friend Eula only for you to end up getting mauled by the hilichurls - if you weren't in this life-threatening situation, you'd be embarrassed and sheepishly tell her that she'd been right all along. You can't, obviously.

It's useless to be sentimental, to cry - but you still do, feeling great pity for your friend. If you had just been more logical and accepted Eula's protective tendencies - you'd probably still be inside your apartment back in the city and enjoying the cool breeze.

You're not getting out of here alive and Eula is just going to wake up tomorrow to the news of your disappearance and discover your mangled body out in the wild-

In a split second, it seems like your surroundings looked so surreal as you spot blue in the distance - light blue hair, wielding a blue claymore. Blue, blue, blue. Are you hallucinating now? So desperate to live that your mind started conjuring up false images.

Hallucinating or not, you still hope - because it's the last thing you can do in this situation. But when the distant blur of blur gets closer and the features of the person are clearer - it's been made known to you that it is indeed Eula, angry and worried - but still Eula.

Relief floods into your body and you start crying for a different reason, glad to live to see another day. Because Eula is here to save you - to make sure you get back to the city alive and well. Though, one thought pesters in your mind, rolling around and never leaving you,

How had Eula known you went outside the city at night?

Astrology and magic have never been your strong suit. MONA knows that all too well - which is probably more reason as to why she's hellbent on teaching you what she knows about it. From her expensive books that contained teachings on astrology to her directly guiding you throughout the process of hydromancy, Mona doesn't cut corners when it comes to you.

Because in her eyes, maybe if you come to understand the inner workings of fate the way she does - then maybe you'll begin to find reasons behind her abhorrent actions - reasons why she's adamant when it comes to loving you.

But even as of right now, as Mona's hydro vision pulses with life as she uses her scryglass for live demonstration for you - it still stands true, astrology and magic are not your strong suit. It's not like you're imbecilic - you simply just don't find any reason why you'd take up astrology, especially if it's under the wish of Mona.

Still, just to appease her and keep her sated, you entertain the sessions she holds every day. Without a word of complaint or a sound of a groan - you remain compliant and willing because it's the best you can do in your situation.

Eyes focusing on Mona's hydro scryglass, you lazily copy her actions and summon your own. It's pretty, you'll admit - the scryglass. A wonderful gadget that only talented mages can use, you being part of the lucky ones, all thanks to Mona's hard work and dedication in teaching you. In contrast to Mona's blue one, yours is tinted in a different color - a pleasing shade to your eyes, something that lessens the burden of having to sit through her voice for hours on end.

Mona graciously showers you in praise, pride gleaming in her eyes. Then, with expert hands, she taps and maneuvers through the device - knowing it like the back of her hand. She instructs you to perform a basic spell - a transformative one. Turning an apple into another fruit or turning a frog into an inanimate object, it's simple enough.

As if reading off a manual, you follow what she asks - a tap here and there, and with the help of your vision, you turn a piece of paper into a pencil. You vaguely register Mona clapping and huffing in pride, too focused on the result of your spell.

It's so boring to be here and to learn a field that you have no interest in, and as Mona moves on to the next spell - astrology this time, most likely instructing you how to read the fates of other people - you just feel so numb. It's so lifeless to be stuck with Mona.

But like a robot programmed to do what it's told, you follow her instructions without complaint. Time and time again.

Dragging you out of the sweet comfort of your home into the unforgiving seas is BEIDOU's way of showing her love for you - if you can even classify her obsession as that. It's yesterday, you think, when she broke into your house while you were asleep in order to bring you aboard the ship she commands.

You'll love it out here, she boisterously states when you blearily open your eyes - only to be greeted by the sight of a wooden ceiling with Beidou right beside your new bed. This is home now, she says as she gently caresses your cheek. Me and the crew - we're you're new family!

But to be truthful, you'd rather not. Especially after you've been thrown into this predicament with absolutely no remorse for your personal feelings or comfort. In fact, you still haven't completely wrapped your head around reality before Beidou's hasty and swinging your arm to bring you up to the deck - where all her crewmates lie.

There, she introduces you as her lover. Despite your attempts to butt in and correct her, it's all drowned out by the sounds of the crewmates whooping and hollering - many congratulations are offered to Beidou, it seems that they weren't aware that she had a lover before all of this (even now, she still don't have one - you are not her lover, no matter how much she says so).

After the hype around you being introduced as her lover dies down, Beidou takes initiative to introduce you to each of her crew. And after that, I'll tour you around! - she said, tightly clinging onto your waist and not letting go.

The first you meet is Kazuha, a runaway from Inazuma who decided to stay aboard even after things have settled in his homeland. He's a sweet man - poetry and flowery words drip off his tongue like it's nothing and it brings you a sense of flattery when he earnestly compliments your features. A fact that Beidou takes notice of, as before you knew it, you're whisked away to meet another crewmate - Kazuha fading into the background.

You meet Furong, Sea Drake, and Xu Liushi who are all sailors. Huixing is a navigator and Suling is an ironworker. There are others but their names are only at the tip of your tongue - there but not enough for you to remember clearly.

True to her words, Beidou shortly takes you on a tour around the ship after you've met all of the people aboard. She speaks with enthusiasm and so much joy the whole time that you find yourself being envious of her, wishing that you can be happy even in your current situation.

But you're not. Not when you're here against your will - not when you didn't want to cruise the seas at all. You preferred your quaint apartment back in Liyue harbor than this rocky life as some 'lover' to the captain of the Alcor.

Day offs are rare enough for GANYU, considering her position as secretary and unhealthy work schedule - a complete workaholic, after all. But on the rare occasions where she's granted one, Ganyu makes sure to spend her free time with you. Nothing else.

It doesn't matter if the day is mundane or eventful - such fickle things don't matter to Ganyu, as long as you're there it's more than enough.

Though, it seems that Ganyu wanted to take you out into the harbor for her day off. It's a date, she bashfully tells you when you inquired about it. And so, with a muted sigh, you go inside your room to look for appropriate clothing, seeing as it's an important occasion.

It saddens you a bit at how being able to go outside is now a rare occurrence, but you force yourself to not linger on it too much, Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts - you repeat in your head.

After you pick out a dress - cute and quaint, something that you know Ganyu would enjoy (but she insists that she'll enjoy any outfit that you're wearing, regardless of style), you look for jewelry to match - making sure to pick stones and jewels that suits the blue that Ganyu's hair possesses (It'll please her, you would know).

Because you're not doing this for you, you're doing this for her.

And when you slide the door open, greeted by the sight of Ganyu's awed expression and amazed eyes, you simply smile and thank her (as you have done many times before). She stumbles over, with flushed cheeks and fumbling fingers, to hold your hand - eager to explore the harbor with you by her side, a pretty eye candy.

You giggle at her enthusiasm (A bit too forced than you'd like), and the two of you make your way to the harbor - making idle talk along the way.

This won't be the first time you visit the harbor, but it's been a while. A whole century, if you remember correctly.

After all, the very thing that made Ganyu so attached to you in the first place was your immortality. Someone that can stay by her slides for centuries to come - a person who she doesn't have to fear mortality with.

A perfect fit for her, she'd claim.

During the nighttime, it's normal for the entire city to be sound asleep - with the few exceptions of the millelith on night duty and those who simply have no need to. And at this point, you'd be off to dreamland too, if not for HU TAO, who had persistently dragged you off to Wuhang Hill.

If the two of you were ordinary citizens, it would probably take hours before you'd arrive at the aforementioned destination because of monsters and the like. But as vision bearers, a divine gift from the gods, it was nothing but mere exercise. And so, within an hour or two, you've arrived at the very top - where the creepy forest resides.

Earlier, Hu Tao had joked about her hand being free for you to hold in case you get scared (and you responded by kindly flipping her off), but as you gaze around the mist-heavy forest, you think you'll take her up on that offer. While you're on the edge of being jumpscared by the mere sound of a twig snapping, Hu Tao is at full ease - shoulders drooped and posture relaxed.

"Tao, Why are we even here?" But what you wanted to ask yourself was why did you even agree in the first place?

"Why not?" Comes Hu Tao's lax response, arms crossed behind her head as she mills around the place like she owns it.

You don't reply, unimpressed with her answer. Sensing your displeased attitude, Hu Tao cackles and grabs your shoulders in assurance. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding, We're here to explore, what else?"

"Explore what?" You retort, letting your body get pushed around by her.

"This," Hu Tao gestures to the forest around the two of you. "Duh!"

"Okay," You give in. "Lead the way, miss Hu."

Hu Tao giggles at your words (the sound is nice, you think) and boldly grabs your hand to intertwine with yours. Before you can ask, she beats you to it. "It's so you don't get lost, dummy."

Her hand fits into yours like a perfect puzzle piece (like you're made for her and she's made for you), and you try your best to ignore the way your heart races just thinking about it.

Forcing yourself to stop thinking about it, you smile at Hu Tao and ask her what she's gonna tour to you. It's a secret, she shushes you. So you do - you stay silent and follow where she'll lead you.

"Just make sure you make it quick, Tao." You quietly remind her. "I have plans tomorrow."

She knows, but she can't say it to your face - lest you find out about her stalking you to know your schedule. So Hu Tao grins and nods, grip tightening ever so slowly.

"I will! Don't worry, (Y/N)."

NINGGUANG places a hairpin on the crown of your head; it's a pretty accessory - the hairpin. Designed to imitate a glaze lily and holds the same beauty as the authentic item, it's almost impossible to differentiate the two, if not for the translucent material that the hairpin possesses. The material makes it glitter marvelously under the sunlight and only adds a dreamy gleam when decorated on your tresses.

"A pretty flower for a pretty thing." Ningguang remarks after she's finished securing the piece onto your hair, dainty and perfectly placed - as expected of her. You're sitting on a chair in front of her vanity, all of which screams expensive, bare as the day you were born. She studies your face for a few more seconds before moving on.

The next item to graze your precious skin is a necklace studded in the finest noctilucous jade - the ones that are mined with utmost precision and expertise, all at the order of the tianquan herself. You wouldn't be surprised either if this was custom-made, commissioned to be a glorified collar of yours - an item you will rarely take off and an item meant to symbolize the tianquan's ownership of you.

Still, you smile and thank her earnestly. It's what she taught you, after all.

Ningguang accepts your gratitude with a mirthful chuckle, opting to focus more on her fingers that were faintly tracing along your bare collarbones. Her touch is featherlight and it gives you shivers. After a moment, Ningguang leans in to kiss your lips - her lips are soft and yours are, too. You can still faintly taste the tobacco on her lips, most likely because of her smoking pipe.

For a while, the two of you stay like that - Ningguang savoring your lips as if they were candy and you taking it all, naked with nothing but a glaze lily hairpin and noctilucous jade necklace graced on your body. Ningguang's lips parted from yours slowly (a string of saliva present), maintaining eye contact with you all throughout - the intensity of her red eyes tempts you to look away, but you can't.

So you watch with bated breath as Ningguang wipes away the drool that's close to dripping off your lips.

She leans back soon enough, straying from you for a moment to look for the next item that's blessed enough to be decorated on your body. She comes back, her dainty fingers holding onto two matching sango pearl bracelets, one for each of your hands.

Without command, you hold out your wrists for her to clasp the bracelet on. She does so with such gentleness that it almost hurts, such care that it makes your eyes water - because you've never been loved so thoroughly as Ningguang has before.

Ningguang shushes you because your tears shan't fall for such a measly reason. For her, you deserve to be loved with every fiber of her being, and who would she be if she didn't fulfill that promise?

Prior to meeting you, SHENHE had always thought that she'd never fit into the human world as an adepti-raised mortal. The red ropes that bind her murderous intentions also bind her emotions as a whole - making her a somewhat blank slate of a human. It doesn't mean Shenhe cannot and does not experience emotions - she does, albeit. rarely.

But after Shenhe was blessed to encounter you for the first time, she finally understands what it means to be mortal - to love like one, and to care like one - or at least she thinks so. It's a bit unsettling, how despite the red ropes that bind her homicidal tendencies, some of them are able to bypass such adepti technic, all because of the strong urge to protect you like no other.

You're like a ray of light in Shenhe's bleak world, one that's filled with meditation on top of the mountains and maintaining to control her urges - all of which are repetitive and tedious, but she must, for the better. After meeting you, it opened up a whole new experience for her - the want to accompany you in the harbor, the longing to hold your hand (or maybe give it a quick peck), and the spark in her chest that erupts every time you so much as to smile at her.

You're addicting, Shenhe thinks. A sweet source of dopamine and serotonin - all for her to consume and devour like a man starved.

Sometimes, when you're too busy with life to invite Shenhe to hang out, she takes it upon herself to monitor your movement and watch your day as you mingle about - trying to bury the urge to slam the man down the concrete who previously flirted with you (patience is a virtue and it would be best to strike when there are no witnesses around).

Shene follows you from a distance, not too far to not see you and not too close to be detected - she's self-aware enough that you would not take it kindly if you were to discover the acts that she's been committing, such as stalking and murder. Not that she plans on stopping, she simply worries at the prospect of you distancing yourself from her - which would no doubt break her heart.

So, with skilled precision, Shenhe continues to follow you - remaining undetected with such ease that it's almost unfair.

She's doing this all for you, the love of her life.

Every high-ranking member of the society within the Liyue harbor knows that the Yanshang teahouse is actually a casino, a discreet establishment that only operates during the nighttime - where the gamblers come to life, ready to take on anyone that dares to. And as the owner, YELAN is obliged to indulge in the games that her own casino offers - all while you stick by her side like the good housewife that you are.

Every time you pass by those that occupy the casino, you're always met with curious glances and stupefied stares - Yelan wouldn't blame them, she knows you're a beauty and it's her job to ensure that the clothes and jewelry you're wearing tonight only amplifies this. It's not a crime to show off your significant other, after all.

The dress you're wearing is revealing, beautiful and tantalizing - all for her to undress when the time comes later in the night. It's a color that perfectly complements your (Hair color) hair and (Eye color) eyes, it's so you. The pieces of jewelry hanging off your body only adds more sparkle and expense to your charm - unaffordable to anyone else in the casino, save for Yelan.

But when some stare longer than she'd like, Yelan would bring you closer to her side - hands gripping onto your waist ever so tightly. She's a possessive lover, one that loves to show off - but still possessive nonetheless.

Soon, she settles down for a bit to play a quick game of poker - making sure that you sit down in her lap like the pretty eye candy that you're meant to be. Yelan is lax throughout the entire ordeal, never once letting up on her poker face, and when she inevitably wins - she gives an easy smile before collecting her prize and whisking you away, too.

You see the enraged face of her defeated opponents, though you say nothing. Whatever enemies and allies Yelan makes is none of your business, you're here to sit still and look pretty - not to blabber and annoy. This is something that she drilled into your pretty, empty head - back when your relationship was forced and loveless on your part (now, it's not much different, save for your newfound acting skills).

What she does is none of your business, Yelan is the moneymaker in your relationship - the one that works to bring home money to her adorable wife. While you, as the pretty housewife, is tasked to prepare her delicious homecooked meals and a loving embrace to come home to.

It doesn't matter that you, too, wanted to have a normal job. What Yelan wants, you oblige.

It's always been that way.

Usually, AYAKA would be the one who had an audience. It's her that has eyes all focused on. It's her that catches their captivation. But right now, the star of the show isn't her.

It's you.

You, dancing on the water and defying its properties with your vision. You, dressed in an intricately designed garb for this performance. You, looking as ethereal as the day she first laid her eyes on. You, who moves with grace and practice that only experienced performers could do.

You, you, you.

Ayaka watches with bated breath, utterly hypnotized with everything you do - like she was just a puppet on a string, and you, her puppeteer. She likes to think that during your performances, it's just you and her - no one else.

Just the two of you, entrapped in your own little bubble with no outside disturbances.

Of course, that thought is quick to crumble when your performance ends and the entire audience begins to clap, reminding Ayaka that other people get to see you, too.

Acknowledging it leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, denial, and jealousy mixing together like a perfect combination. She knows she has no right to act, let alone feel, like this - you aren't hers (as much as she wants it) and she isn't yours.

Really, Ayaka doubts you even knew her. Your relationship with her is nothing but a performer and a watcher. Nothing more.

(She hates it.)

But she can't just admit defeat like this, can she? Ayaka is a Kamisato, a noble family in Inazuma. Surely, with enough of a push, you'll come to her if she used her influence, no?

And she'll welcome you with open arms, too. Then, your performances will only be limited to her eyes and hers only - no one else within the audience as you dance and sing around for her.

Just like how it should be.

She'll even be the one to wake you up every morning, the one to dress you up and usher you to the dining room. No servant within the Kamisato estate deserves to see you bare and pretty - no, that sight should just be reserved for only her.

And maybe, somewhere down the line, she'll court you to earn your hand in marriage - just like what the fairytales do.

As the divine priestess of the Watatsumi island and tactician, KOKOMI holds a myriad of responsibilities, resulting in her work piling up with each day. From the complaints of citizens to negotiations with the shogun's army - Kokomi handles it all, with grace.

And with so many responsibilities to hold, Kokomi is bound to be burdened with stress. But, she doesn't mind.

Not when her cute stress reliever is you, after all.

There are countless actions she can command you to do and you'd do so in a heartbeat, but Kokomi finds that making you read aloud to her is the best.

Books read by your precious voice are a blessing to her ears. The genre of the book itself does not matter, whether it be a cheesy romance novel or a dictionary, anything you read is bound to be amazing - it's you.

So, with her head laid in your lap, and you preparing to begin reading a novel - Kokomi's accumulated stress from the week can already be felt vanishing.

"What novel is that, love?" Kokomi's soft voice questions, fingers lightly tracing the spine of the book.

You don't respond, choosing to read aloud instead.

The plane of euthymia unsettles you - EI knows that. But that doesn't stop her from forcefully keeping you within while the puppet handles the outside affairs, leading to Ei devoid of any disturbances and worries. Just her and you. As it always should.

The place is bleak and suffocating - the red hurts your eyes and the atmosphere is downright depressing, you wonder how Ei can live like this. To lock herself up and spend centuries meditating inside this plane - unlike you, who can't stand being here any longer.

You don't want to be here, you made it known from the very start. And yet, like a persistent bug, Ei ignores it in favor of meditating while you're within her eyesight - safe from any threats and dangers, or so she claims.

Yet, you don't have a choice - much less stand a chance against Ei when it comes to confrontation. What can you, a measly human, do in face of an archon?

As distasteful it is to admit, nothing.

It's best you keep your mouth shut and indulge Ei on her whims, lest you anger the god of eternity.

Grand narukami shrine is, well, grand. The exterior of the place is nothing short of breathtaking - the way the buildings were structured so intricately and the shrine maidens out and about only add a comforting air to the place. Not to mention the sacred sakura tree that's shaped into a fox - no doubt well taken care of by YAE.

For all this beauty and pleasing view from the top, it does not quench your longing to venture past this mountain - to experience more of Inazuma than what this place has to offer. Of course, the head priestess is opposed to that, for she condescendingly tells you that such musings bring nothing but demise to your life. Don't you know? The outside world is nothing short of traumatising, you're better off staying here - where your dear protector can keep you safe.

You protest and protest against her for what it's worth yet you're shot down each and every single time - Yae is always ready with a convenient excuse to tell you off. It's frustrating, to be treated like you know nothing better and that you're a dumb, stupid woman when you're clearly much more than that.

But every time you get the strength to potentially fight back against her, Yae's mischievous attitude crumbles apart - in place a stern facial expression that dares you to oppose against her - her, who is your lifeline. Her, who so graciously saved you from a life of poverty by letting you work for the grand narukami shrine. Her, who loves you as no one else will.

Yae supposes that she spoiled you too much. Maybe it's time for punishment? To remind you of your place.

Despite it all, you're grateful for the way LUMINE lets you travel around Teyvat - as long as you're with her, of course. It could be worse, you know. You've seen the way other people aren't allowed past the borders of their nation, sometimes even the comforts of their homes - you pity people like that. You truly do.

Paimon stays silent about the nature of your relationship, which is probably for the best (much to your chagrin). For a terrible liar, so far Paimon has been nothing but amazing in keeping her mouth silent - unlike her usual blabber mouth-self.

The first time Lumine took you to Mondstadt, she had introduced you there as her lover. Sweet and loving, is what your relationship appeared to the public eye with Paimon there to back it up. Still, the scope of green fields lessened your devastation to the situation - bringing comfort, even if just a little bit.

Liyue was eye-catching, the harbor built upon intricate buildings and rich history. Lumine toured you around where the population was at its peak - resulting in many curious eyes wondering just who you were to the savior of Liyue. A lover, perhaps?

You weren't able to enter Inazuma, not after the sakoku decree was lifted. Lumine told you the atmosphere was much more grim and cold when she first arrived, as opposed to the lively people and foreigners now plaguing the streets. She brought you along for the Irodori festival, where she made sure to conceal you from prying eyes - afraid that others would take a liking to you.

Yes, despite it all - no matter how suffocating her love is - you're truly grateful for the way Lumine lets you roam free. Or as free as you can be under her tight grip.

SANDRONE is known for her unpredictable outbursts - something that's more prone whenever you're involved. For this reason, the Fatui recruits make sure to distance themselves far away from you in order to not invoke the wrath of the marionette.

Unfortunately, not every underling can get the unspoken rule immediately - leading to dire mistakes so early on in their lives. How unfortunate - not that you can be of any help to them.

Especially when you're given a front-row seat by yours truly, where you're given a perfect view of just how she can turn this supposedly hideous man into an even more unsightly doll.

In the beginning, you vehemently protested - thrashed, shook, and pleaded for her to have an ounce of mercy. Though, now, you know better and choose to keep silent - blankly staring ahead with no visible emotion on your face.

When the scissors come into contact with the man's collarbone, ripping a scream out of his throat, you know that the show has begun.

It's only a matter of time until the poor Fatui recruit is transformed into a doll. Or a corpse, if Sandrone was feeling generous.

ou don't like children. That much you relayed to ARLECCHINO on your first meeting. At that time, she simply nodded her head and continued on with finishing her meal. Back then, when the two of you had only met - neither of you was aware of what would spiral down with this relationship.

Looking back at it now, you wished you never met the knave. Since it lead to where you are now, taking care of the orphans like you're someone being paid to do so - when in reality it's just Arlecchino wanting some sick version of play house.

But, you sigh and continue on with taking care of the countless children that the house of hearth houses. Endure, endure, endure - you tell yourself this every day, you'll break free from her soon enough. You can't stay here forever, it's illogical.

Or at least, you hope so.

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You (Part II)

The aftermath that follows is a struggle for everyone to comprehend.

Content Warning(s): N/A

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Previous || Next

Taglist: @silverstarred

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The past few days have been hard for your mind to wrap around.

Ever since that particular incident you had while playing Genshin, you've been extremely hesitant to log back on. Now that you knew all the people of Teyvat were self-aware, you were scared to imagine what they thought of you.

"Have they been self-aware the entire time that I've been playing? Have they always been able to hear my voice whenever I spoke aloud? Do the Traveler and their friends hate me for forcibly controlling their movements and actions like puppets? If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for me to leave them alone without letting them know?"

It doesn't seem like there's any part of your day where you're not thinking about how to follow up with the world of Genshin Impact. In fact, it's gotten so bad for you that some of your friends have noticed your change in mood and asked if anything was wrong.

Knowing that this situation is not only unheard of but also impossible to comprehend for anyone, you simply told them that you were dealing with personal issues, which honestly isn't that far from the truth.

Eventually, you began to worry if some of the people in Teyvat would figure out a way to reach you beyond the computer should you not reach back to them soon. In the past, you would've laughed at such a thought. But now that you've witnessed the impossible, you didn't want to wait around and find out.

"If I'm going to continue playing Genshin, I should at least try and accommodate their needs and wants better."

As much as you didn't want to delay your return to Genshin any further, you felt that researching all of your current playable character's needs, wants, likes, and dislikes took top priority over anything else in your life right now.

...Well...besides your needs and wants.

First, you took note of their favorite and least favorite foods. You would feel pretty bad if you kept feeding them food that wasn't their preference. Especially since characters like Lisa and Ganyu were vegetarians.

Second, you took note of everyone's talents. While you know that some characters had passive talents which gave you extra dishes when cooking or extra materials when crafting, you felt that those jobs should be left to the professionals, such as Xiangling and Albedo respectively.

"Let's see. First off, I should probably remove the people in my party with full-time jobs, as they take priority over exploring with the Traveler. So I should probably replace any Knights of Favonius, Liyue Qixing, Tri-Commission Member, etc. However, that doesn't exactly leave me with a lot of options to choose from. Although Xiangling works for Wanmin Restaurant, she's currently exploring Teyvat for ingredients. I assume accompanying the traveler would be fine with her. Bennett works for the Adventure's Guild so that works as well. But that also leaves me with a Pyro-heavy party, which may pose a problem for enemies such as Pyro slimes..."

However, the more you spent time researching, the more pessimistic and depressed you began to feel. Here you were spending all this effort trying to accommodate to all the characters you've obtained without even knowing if they gave a single thought or care in the world towards you.

"...I never really asked if they wanted to join the Traveler's adventures. ...So...maybe I should only use the Traveler...?"

You sighed deeply. This was not gonna be good for your mental health.

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Meanwhile...

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The Traveler didn't know what to think.

On one hand, they were happy that [Y/N] was getting some much deserved rest. On top of that, they were also happy that they got to have a break from doing commissions all the time. But on the otherhand...

They were really starting to miss you.

This is the longest that they have gone without feeling your presence and they were starting to worry if they had accidentally scared you off due to that incident.

The incident that revealed Teyvat's self-awareness.

"...You're thinking about [Y/N] again, aren't you?" Paimon asked.

The Traveler chuckled sadly. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Kind of? Paimon thinks that's what everyone is thinking about."

They believe her. Zhongli, Venti, and a few others had reached out to them over the past couple of days for any news about [Y/N]. They were saddened by their expressions when they told them they had no news to give.

“...Y/N..." The Traveler sighed.

"Hmm?" Paimon hummed in thought, "What was that?"

"...To think that was their name all along. And to even think that they may be just as human as most people in Teyvat! It’s honestly kind of relieving when you think about it.

Although they weren't going to lie. At first, they saw [Y/N] as an unknown entity that possessed them to do its bidding. It was scary at first, knowing that neither them nor Paimon were able to figure out a way to interact with or avoid it. However, after solving both Mondstadt's and Liyue's respectable crises and powering them up with newfound strength, they started to see you as a sort of companion similar to Paimon.

"Yeah, even Paimon is starting to miss traveling and exploring with them."

"Is that so?" The Traveler taunted, "I thought that at one point you were trying to prove yourself as the better guide?"

"Hey! Paimon told you already that she has proved herself as the superior guide time and time again." She exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

They laughed. It felt nice to tease Paimon like this to distract them from the lack of [Y/N]'s presence, but they were starting to feel like they couldn't keep this up forever.

"Regardless, Paimon hopes that [Y/N] comes back soon. Everybody will feel a lot better once they do."

The Traveler looked up to the night sky and watched the stars flicker with light. Paimon followed their gaze with a sorrowful frown.

"I hope so too."

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Author Side Notes: I had an idea.

But in all seriousness, I'm flattered by all the positive comments, reblogs, and likes from the previous post. I only expected to get around 20 notes since it was my first post but somehow I've ended up at 800+ and counting? It's almost too much for me to handle lol.

As for the rest of this story, I've decided that it will likely take around six parts for me to reach its conclusion. We've got two down so far, so that makes four more to go. Of course, that's only if y'all want to read more.

[lgbtlunaverse]

It's quite interesting how in the realm of "Crimes Jin Guangyao may or may not possibly have comitted" I have zero issue with assuming he may, in fact, have killed a-song and think it's really interesting to explore the various possbile scenarios, but if you so much as suggest to me that he killed Qin Su I'll bite you.

And I think it comes down to the fact that this... isn't really about my opinion of him. Regardless of whether he did either of these things two facts remain true 1) I like him as a character and 2) he's done some truly horrible things. Including child murder!! Those Tingshan He kids are still super dead! I don't need him to be innocent of these few specific crimes to like him, because its not like he'll suddenly become my unproblematic innocent fave. It's actually quite central to my enjoyment of him as a character that he's a man pushed to his utter limits, someone who does horrible things within circumstances so bad that even as they condemn him no other character can give him a clear answer on what else he should have done except just... die.

No, my insistence that Qin Su killed herself is all about her. In the precious little spotlight the narrative gives her, she's defined by how little agency she gets to have in anything. Everyone who knows the truth of her parentage decides to leave her out of it. She doesn't get to know the truth about her husband, so she doesn't get to weigh a sham incest mariage against being a disgraced unwed mother (It's a choice with no great options, but it's a choice she should've gotten a fucking say in!) she doesn't get to know the truth about her son, so doesn't get a choice in whether she wants to bear him. He's killed regardless, years later, and she doesn't get a say in that either. And when she asks her husband after finally finding out some of the truth hidden from her he refuses to give her a clear answer (pro tip, jiggy: "he NEEDED to die, I totally didn't kill him tho" is about the most suspicious answer you could give)

I need this woman to have made one decision in her life, even if it was the decision to end it. Is that a great choice? No, but everyone in Qin Su's life has deprived her of any choices in fear she'd make a bad one so I think we don't get to judge her, actually.

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

More thoughts on Lucanis x Neve romance, from a Rookanis enjoyer, with love.

(Grab a snack. This is long.)

What I'll be focusing on in this post: Extra info and fun facts about Lucanis and Spite that I have gathered during my playthroughs. The consistency of Lucanis' writing between his romatic relationships with Rook and Neve. Addressing some criticism I've seen to be common. These are my thoughts and opinions.

As I said in my previous post about this topic, I enjoy seeing affectionate Lucanis from the external perspective, because it gives me more insight into his character. Of course, this isn't restricted to just romance, but that's what I want to focus on in this post. (It's too long as it is.) I also have to admit that I'm not exactly a Nevecanis shipper myself (not a big shipper in general), because I simply prefer romancing these characters myself, but I do think that it's a good thing that in my other playthroughs where I explore other options, besides my favourite, Lucanis has someone to make him happy, and I can personally think of nobody better for it than Neve, and Neve also deserves the world. I think it's good that they decided to pair some characters up, when unromanced, so that the group is more lively and doesn't feel like Rook's harem. Also, I tend to reblog whatever artwork of these characters that I like, regardless of whether I'm personally into the pairings or not, and regardless of whether they're possible in the game. Whatever you ship, we're good. As long as we're having fun. But that's beside the point of this post. I'm rambling already.

In my previous post, I ended my commentary with my thoughts about the dialogue cutscene that happens right after Inner Demons, where Rook finds Lucanis preparing dessert either for them or for Neve, depending on whether Rook romances him or not, and the similarities and differences of how each is handled and how each relationship develops until that point.

One thing that I didn't really touch upon is that if Rook saves Minrathous instead of Treviso, we don't get to do the Inner Demons quest, but we still get the dessert scene. So, only briefly. As most of us probably know by now, if Rook sacrifices Lucanis' home, they are cut off from his romance. Neve is not. I'm not going to delve deep into the nuance of that here. Suffice to say that Lucanis is in a vulnerable place after the Ossuary, almost a full year of physical and psychological torture, he's struggling for control of his own body with what most would consider a demon, he thinks his grandmother is dead. His abuser is still somewhere out there. He only has revenge, Treviso, and Illario left, and his cousin acts damn weird, on top of it all. If Rook makes the decision that also dooms his home, it understandably breaks his heart, even if he realizes that Rook is not to blame for what happened. He's lost pretty much everything at that point. (By the way, have you seen blighted Treviso? That place is utterly fucked. I don't think many people could process that in a healthy way.) Meanwhile Neve is in the same position as him when that choice occurs and is just as dependent on Rook's decision as he is. She is ultimately also not the one that makes the decision. It makes sense that he bonds with her over it rather than with Rook. (No, I don't care if you use a mod to make the romance happen anyway. Private mod use is none of my business.) I'm definitely not saying that one choice is better than the other, of couse. They're two different flavours of terrible. Neve is also hurt by the decision to sacrifice her home town, but she's also tragically used to struggling against the system alone and to people not showing up, and it feels like she still has at least something to hold onto. Minrathous is in terrible state and the future of the whole country looks grim, nobody knows what the consequences will be, but at the very least Dock Town stands. Hal is alive and selling treats. Some of the little people she cares about are still there. Neve's a different person with different problems to solve, and she can still find it in her heart to fall for Rook, which is amazing. But anyway...

---

What other sweet and interesting things have I learned from their romance?

Lucanis can recognize Rook by the sound of their footsteps.

We know that from walking in on him in Neve's office where he's alone, waiting for her.

Spite yells at him to talk to his sweetheart!

By saying, "Well, not just Spite," Lucanis is definitely referring to himself here. He wants to try and be more open about his feelings and Spite clearly tries to motivate him to be more proactive.

You can bet Spite yells at him to talk to Rook, as well.

Either way, we find out that Spite is supportive of Lucanis' relationship and even encourages him to act on his feelings. (Seriously, Lucanis beating around the bush must be so frustrating for a spirit of Determination.) I think that from this we can safely say that Spite also likes Neve. Enough to encourage Lucanis to court her.

Of course, we already know that Spite likes Rook a lot, and I imagine that most of us Rookanis lovers already headcanon Spite pestering Lucanis to express his feelings for Rook anyway. Or something similar. However, I don't think it's actually confirmed during a playthrough where Rook romances Lucanis. So, here, Spite canonicaly yells at Lucanis to woo his love interest.

A lot more yapping under the cut.

Once again, in this scene we see how Lucanis doesn't really have a lot of confidence in himself in this department. He keeps mentioning how he's not really good at sweet talk, which is very much in line with what he says during the previous scene where we catch him preparing the dessert before. In total, he says something to that effect at least 3 or 4 times in the game - that all he knows is knives and coffee, that he's not the charming type, that he isn't good with words, etc. (That's not what I personally think about him, but that's what he obviously thinks about himself.) He's not beating the wet cat allegations any time soon.

As I said in my previous post already, I noticed that some consider Lucanis' writing to be inconsistent between his romance with Rook and Neve. And we're all entitled to our opinions, of course. But I'd like to explain why I do not think that is true. Again, that is my perspective and my opinion.

There is one variable here that is not often taken into account here, and that is Rook. Well, two, actually. Because I think we also need to keep in mind that the scene where Lucanis' romance with Neve locks in happens quite some time after Inner Demons and the scene that occurs right afterwards where we catch Lucanis preparing the dessert. In that scene, he is still very much a wet cat, regardless of whether he's preparing the dessert to woo Rook or whether it's for Neve. (Not a bad thing to remember here is that falling for somebody seems to be rare enough for Lucanis, as he's never been in a relationship before, and he has already once before been rejected after trying to court somebody with a gift.)

First of all, if Rook is not present during the follow-up scene where the lock-in for Lucanis and Neve is supposed to happen, if the player for some reason decides to skip it, Lucanis does not express his interest to Neve and, tragically, may later regret this, should something happen to her. It makes sense that he would still have feelings for her, even if he never confessed. Love doesn't go away like that, just because you never put it into words. Also, I know this is a video game mechanic, but I still consider it part of his characterization that he needs his partner to either be very perceptive (like Rook during the scene after Inner Demons) or in this case get cornered a little to actually express his feelings in this complicated phase of his life. It makes sense when you look at how this scene plays out. Rook being there for the start of his romance with Neve is important - either it puts him a bit more at ease, or more on the spot, or a litte bit of both. Either way, it helps them work it out. (It also makes sense that it is Rook that basically spells it out to the player during the previous scene, after Inner Demons, that Lucanis has made a dessert specifically for them, if romanced, because they understand him and what he's trying to say, but the player may not, because Lucanis tends to deflect and put himself and his efforts down. He clearly has a lot of insecurity in this department and Rook is good at untangling it.)

As I also mentioned in my previous post, it's clear that when Lucanis made the first dessert, he clearly didn't express his feelings for Neve then, because... well, we get their romance lock-in here, in this scene, so much later. (I got this scene after Blood of Arlathan. That's pretty late in the game.) Neve also explicitly states that this is the second time he's made her favourite kind of pie.

With Rook, they figured it out and officially started dating on Lucanis' first try. (Or the first pie? Haha.) However, with Neve, this is his second attempt to express his feelings. This is one of the reasons why I think Lucanis' writing is consistent, and why I previously said that his romance with Neve may actually be slower than with Rook. They take longer to actually start dating and Lucanis is very much a wet cat all the way until this point.

And even in this scene, you can see that Lucanis drops the treat and coffee in Neve's office and is almost ready to evacuate again!

He just... keeps saying that.

That's so him. The Demon of Vyrantium, the legendary slayer of blood mages and Venatori, the master assassin, the demon-powered killing machine that made a near immortal eldrich horror bleed, on the verge of retreat... from his love interest, because he may know how to kill a man with his bare hands in a hundred different ways, but sweet talk? Nah, that's scary.

Except this time, Rook is there to provide emotional support (or peer pressure, haha). They already know all about his feelings for Neve. Especially if the Inner Demons quest occurs. And they can so tattle on him, if you so choose. Each of those options is pretty cute and/or funny.

No, I'm making you look great. You'll just have to trust me on this, Lucanis.

But most importantly, seeing Lucanis getting tangled in this situation, Neve finally says something. Either she finally figures it out, or more likely she just finally acknowledges it. She's a seasoned detective. She observes people all the time. Of course she would notice that he's trying to treat her special. However, from Neve's romance, we also know that she herself struggles with her own issues, namely with letting people close, so this is a significant step for her, as well. It makes sense that it takes them longer to bond, when Lucanis struggles to express his feelings and Neve tries to avoid catching feelings, or at least acting on them, for fear of things going wrong. And while Neve's bonding with Rook shows more of her internal struggle to let herself finally have something, we have to simply accept that the companions simply aren't and can't be as front as centre as the protagonist in such a game, so we can't delve into their inner workings as deeply in that case. (Funny, though, how I've never once seen anyone say that Neve's writing here is inconsistent. Almost as if it only matters when it's our Antivan male lover...) There are always going to be differences in how characters are handled in companion x companion romance vs protagonist x companion romance. Their romance is very much side content that's supposed to make them feel a little more real. It's also worth noting that Rook's lock-in scene with both Neve and Lucanis happens way earlier than this scene between them. But here, they both had a lot of time to let their feelings stew, so they can finally reach this point. However, Neve still warns him that she's not going to make his life easy. A light reference to what happens when you romance her with Rook.

I've seen some upset over the fact that we learn that Lucanis hangs out with Neve at night if he courts her, as if he doesn't with Rook. But we already know this from Lucanis' romance with Rook! Remember?

We know that Lucanis and Rook hang out together around midnight, as well! That's not new information, but I wanted to include it, because I do think (and will keep repeating that) Lucanis' writing is pretty consistent between the two romances. Lucanis loves to be around his partner. We know that from both his romances.

This is what he further says about Rook when romanced.

Which means that he will likely sit nearby like a content cat while Rook sorts out and reads their mail out loud for both of them or whatever. He doesn't care what they're up to. He wants to be there with them. It's implied that Rook and Lucanis read together. "Nearing midnight: Reading," only appears in that particular entry of his log book when he's romanced. They stay up at night to spend time together, as he also writes down in his log book. And it makes him happy, "just being around them", which you know not only from his words but also the tone of his voice when he talks about it in that banter.

Anyway. Because Neve finally acknowledges that Lucanis is clearly trying to spend time with her for a reason and admits that "maybe" she likes that (The woman also can't express her feelings to save her life, bless her.), Lucanis is pleasantly surprised (He says, "Really?" and sounds happily taken aback.) and responds warmly and enthusiastically afterwards, because of course he does. Because IS THIS SUCCESS??? LET'S GO! He gets giddy about it, and it's cute.

Neve.exe briefly stops working. Then tries to play it cool. Nothing to see here.

Encouraged by his unexpected success (He was almost about to run away!), he musters a bit of charm here, haha. From the coffee date with Rook early in the game and the scene where he almost kisses them when romanced, we know he has it in him, but at this point in the game he doesn't really seem to believe it himself. He repeats it over and over. He tells that to Emmrich at least twice. ("I don't know what [Rook] sees in me," is sort of a sad thing for him to say when you think about it, honestly, and when you look at his romance lock-in with Rook, it's a pattern. He doesn't believe he has much to offer.) He tells that to Rook when not romanced. He says it in this very scene. Yes, he's an adult. He knows what flirting is and what it entails. We all know he can pull it off. Whatever. But he clearly doesn't seem to believe that he can do it, or that he's good with words, and seems to be more comfortable expressing himself in other ways, especially at first. However, now that he knows that the person he cares for actually likes him back, too? Hell, yeah, he's unstoppable now. Heh, sort of anyway. When you think about it, his charm here and elsewhere, for most of the game actually, comes from him being earnest, not suave. Just him being himself. I think that's demonstrated on the couple of lines above. Telling Neve that she makes his life better and that he hopes he has more charm than this is not some killer move. It's just him being honest and enthusiastic after finding out she actually likes him back, and that ends up being sweeter and more charming than whatever flirt line anybody could possibly come up with. It also seems to me that once he knows that the affection is mutual, he does turn into a sweet talker, as we see on his later interactions with both Rook and Neve. But he does it in his own way.

Once again, it's important to remember that this happens quite late in the game. This is not the scene after the ordeal of Inner Demons where he prepares the first dessert, still rattled. This is possibly after all his quests have been resolved, his grandmother saved, etc. (For me, that is the case anyway.) This is why Lucanis' demeanor here is a bit more relaxed in general.

I do not think that means that his writing is inconsistent. We merely see another side of him under different circumstances.

---

Now, I'd also like to talk about some of the banters they have together afterwards, because there's some fun information there, and they're also what I've seen some complaints about.

To me, the "inconsistencies" boil down to interpretation. Simply put, it depends on whether you can imagine two adults spending quality time together without having sex.

If somebody likes to interpret the banters as Lucanis and Neve being that intimate, I think that's perfectly fine... unless they also get super upset about it and make it a whole problem. I think the banters are written in a way that let's you interpret them how you please, which in Lucanis' case is a great choice, in my opinion. As far as I'm concerned, they handled it well.

It's sort of what a lot of us do while romancing him with Rook, as well, because there's enough space left for interpretation. While Lucanis' dialogue cutscenes with Rook are mostly tame, there's also enough space for the player to headcanon whatever level of intimacy they please for the rest of the game, because there's nothing to confirm or deny that.

Personally, for my own playthrough, I like to imagine that Rook and Lucanis share those shy, fleeting touches Isabela mentions after they officially start dating, share their first kiss after Lucanis' last quest/outing, and slowly get more physically intimate overtime, but make love for the first time after Tearstone Island, like it is in the game. So, as far as I'm concerned, I already have this idea of (slowly) intensifying intimacy with time for Rook and Lucanis. That's how I personally like it, and I think that any other headcanon people come up with for their own playthrough that pleases them is great - whether they imagine that Lucanis and Rook don't get intimate at all until the bedscene happens in the game, or that they break his cot in the pantry the same evening they share the dessert, or something in between, or something else entirely. Is the note in his log book about them having a pleasant late night chat or did they cuddle? Something else? Up to you.

My point is, you can easily do the same thing with the romance between Lucanis and Neve, because the banters are so unspecific.

Let's look at the most cheeky ones I've found.

Neve: So you and Spite are friends now? Can't say my money was on that one. Lucanis: I would've lost that bet too. Neve: If it lets you sleep at night… Unless this clears the way for new and different midnight brooding. Lucanis: I wouldn't put it past me. Neve: Well, find me at midnight and we'll test the theory. Lucanis: (Chuckles)

What does this banter tell us? It tells us that they spend time together late at night. But we already know that! From their romance lock-in scene. ("You find me at midnight just to talk.") I think this banter is a reference to that. How you imagine they spend that time, that's entirely up to you. If you imagine they're fucking their brains out, and you like that, cool! If you imagine they're sitting side by side, having a pleasant time, looking through Neve's case notes, and you like that, cool. If you think they're just starting to get physically intimate, cool. Because the banter does not say.

Taash: Hey, Lucanis. Lucanis: Yes? Taash: You and Neve? Lucanis: Yes. Taash: Nice catch. Lucanis: Thanks.

He's just as cagey as he is when Taash talks to him about Rook, by the way. It continues...

Taash: And Spite's good with her? Lucanis (Spite): No talking. When. Her hat comes off. Go play with wisps. Taash: 'Kay.

This one made me laugh.

But what does it actually mean? It tells us that Lucanis sets some boundaries with Spite. He's in love. He's in a relationship now. Of course he at the very least thinks about the possibility of getting intimate.

This can again be interpreted as Lucanis and Neve already being intimate in some way. Which also doesn't necessarily mean all the way - I swear that sometimes, it seems to me that people forget that cuddling and making out and other non-sexual forms of intimacy exist. Or it could mean that Lucanis has simply considered that this is where he wants the relationship to go sooner or later, and so he's told Spite, "Hey, if this situation occurs, be quiet and give us some space." This one definitely sounds more spicy and it shows that Lucanis obviously thinks about these things, but more than anything it shows that he asks Spite to give him privacy. Again, I feel like this is up to the player and what they want it to be.

I would also like to disagree with the narrative I have seen somewhere before that Neve rejects Spite. That's not the impression I've got from the game at all. I've never once caught Neve having a problem with Spite when she and Lucanis are in a relationship. (Though I don't yet know what happens during their romance when Minrathous is saved, because that's where I'm currently romancing Neve myself, but even then I haven't really seen her say anything that would suggest that she has a problem with Spite.) Most importantly, Spite clearly likes Neve. He even suggests that Lucanis should bring her flowers from Lavendel, which is adorable.

Seriously, his romance with Neve makes it almost seem that Spite is more competent at wooing somebody than Lucanis is sometimes, which is just so funny. This little guy, trapped in a world utterly alien to him, barely understands what feet are, but he knows you bring people flowers to show affection. I love him so much. While Lucanis' reaction shows he's probably never had an example of a healthy relationship of any kind for reference in his entire life. (Actually, from his reaction it seems to me that he perhaps simply doesn't yet know if Neve even likes flowers as a gift. Insufficient data.)

Either way, I think that when Lucanis loves Neve, Spite loves her, as well. It's not Neve who sends him away to have more privacy. It's Lucanis.

"BUT I WANT LUCANIS TO GET FLOWERS FOR ROOK, AS WELL!" Look at me. Listen to me. You give that man some damn flowers. He cooks for Rook. He prepares sweet treats for them. He invites them for coffee dates. He makes coffee or hot chocolate for them, and even though he himself doesn't even like tea, he makes sure it's in the Lighthouse for them. He would kill for them. You give the man flowers. Or rather, I'll tell you what to do: You go to Treviso, visit Fletcher, and buy that fancy tea (coffee) set for Lucanis after you lock his romance in, and you'll get that little cutscene where Rook gives it to him. Enjoy his romanced response. Call me crazy, but I think that's sweeter and more satisfying than the one line where Spite has to suggest giving flowers to Neve to him and Lucanis reacts like he's not even sure that's a good idea, haha. It's something wholesome and more normal that Rook can do for him to express their affection for a change, besides standing by his side through his struggles. But anyway.

Maybe it's because I like to imagine (my) Rook and Lucanis getting intimate at that point in the game, as well, and/or because I don't think that when two adults are alone in a room together, it necessarily means that they have to immediately get naked, those banters don't bother me, nor does it seem to me like the writing is inconsistent, especially because of how open to interpretation it is. If you leave your own assumptions out of it, the banters really don't say that much. They confirm for us that Lucanis has spicy thoughts, which I personally think is cute, and which I'm also pretty sure is already part of many people's headcanon for their Rook x Lucanis playthroughs anyway. They confirm for us that Lucanis enjoys spending time with his lover. And that he tries to communicate his boundaries to Spite.

I think it's also important to realize that these are two companion characters and we don't actually get any other romance scenes between them than the one described above, so they had to give their relationship some depth pretty much exclusively through banters and some rare mention here and there, just like they do it with Taash and Harding. (By the way, I also haven't seen anyone say anything about any possible inconsistencies with Taash and Harding, either.)

From the other banters, we find out that Lucanis asks Neve what her favourite dish is, and after she tells him, he promises to try and prepare something like that for her.

Lucanis: Neve, do you have a favourite food? Neve: Whatever you're cooking. Lucanis: There must be something. Neve: I might have a weakness for seafood and candlelight. Lucanis: I'll see what I can do.

He's clearly willing to learn and actively puts effort into his relationship. That's a trait that definitely also applies to his relationship with Rook. We know that because he remembers their favourite drink, makes sure it's stocked in the Lighthouse, and later prepares a matching treat. (He may even ask Emmrich for a recipe.) His love language clearly is food and quality time together. (And stabbing people for his lover, as is particularly clear from his romance with Rook.) That's how he seems to be most comfortable showing affection.

He also tells Neve that, during the Inner Demons quest, she was there to "sort of" help guide Rook through his mental prison. Neve tries to be cool about it and again ceases to function when he's earnest about it, which is always funny (and understandable).

Lucanis: Neve. In the Fade with Rook and Spite... you were there. I mean, not you, but... you know what I mean. You helped Rook. Sort of. Neve: Sort of? Well, isn't that flattering. At least I'm on your mind. Lucanis: You are. And not just then. Neve: I... oh. Well, then.

And he says he's not good with words.

Neve: I need to go through my notes later. See what the Shadows might find useful. Lucanis: Need company? Neve: No. But I'd love yours all the same. Lucanis: Then I'm yours.

Again, they talk about spending time together. That's definitely his thing. Lucanis also gives Neve similar "I'm yours," that he gives Rook. When you visit him in the pantry, he may say to Rook: "Did you need me? I'm yours." It couldn't be more clear that he's ready to be wherever Rook is, regardless of what they're doing, as well.

Also, a version of this banter exists before Lucanis and Neve start dating and possibly before dealing with Aelia. More casual, but similar vibe.

Lucanis: You don't sleep much, do you? Neve: More than you, but little enough. Still looking over everything on Aelia. Lucanis: If you need fresh eyes, I'm awake anyway. Neve: Maybe. If you don't mind the company. It comes with wisps. Lucanis: Wisps are nothing. Besides, you're better company than Spite. Neve: Really? Rumour has it I'm a pain in the ass. But that's if you ask Tarquin.

I think that's what Neve references when she says, "You find me at midnight just to talk."

All in all, the banters between Lucanis and Neve, and with a couple of other companions, during their romance simply hint at them having a loving relationship and spending quality time together. Consider that they had to squeeze their whole relationship into a few lines of banter and an occasional mention in dialogue and somehow make it believable, because unlike Rook and Lucanis, they don't have whole quests, outings, and many other interactions inside and outside of the Lighthouse, to develop their relationship.

Lucanis' relationship is definitely flavoured by his partner, whether it is Rook or Neve, and it's good that it's not completely the same for both couples, because they're different individuals, but I also don't really find any actual inconsistencies in their characterization between them.

I do agree that some of these interactions are super sweet and I would absolutely love it if we had some more of them between Rook and Lucanis and the other companions, because honestly I could easily listen to a hundred more, but it's also necessary to acknowledge that Lucanis and Neve are two companion characters and the few banters, one short cutscene, and a rare mention here and there, are all they get. And I think it's perfectly sufficient for them as NPCs. The interactions are lovely. They're clearly good for each other. But I also don't think they're actually getting anything extra in comparison with Rook, and I'm just honestly a bit baffled by the noise about it.

Rook as the protagonist has great chemistry and dynamic with Lucanis from the very beginning, thoughout the whole game, as I already to some extent described in my previous post. This post is already way too long without me getting too much into it here. But Rook has the benefit of being able to do Lucanis' quests, go on outings with him, be there for him during all the important moments (e.g. his grandma's funeral arrangements), have various interactions in the Lighthouse (e.g. Lucanis attempts to kiss them way before the dessert scene comes up) and outside of it. The Inner Demons quest is, in my opinion, the most intimate thing ever while doing his romance. They have banter together and with the other companions about their relationship and other things. We know they spend quality time together. Besides travelling everywhere side by side outside of the Lighthouse so often, they get together late at night, read together, are coffee buddies (or whatever drink you've chosen). Lucanis insists that Rook stay and tell stories while they drink with Davrin, wanting to hear a story from their life that he's already heard from others before, just because he thinks nobody tells it as well as Rook. I don't think that loses its meaning just because it's also a friendly interaction. Lucanis writes into his log book about them. He yells at Illario when he injures them. Etc. Etc. I really don't think there's any reason to hate on Neve, be jelly, or argue which relationship is more "canon". (For fuck's sake.)

Not to be patronizing or anything, but we, as a fandom, do remember what canon is, right? As in, actually established facts about the setting. As in, humans, elves, dwarves, and qunari are the races populating Thedas. Alistair Theirin was at the Battle of Ostagar. Magic and dragons exist. Treviso is in Antiva. Then there's personal "canon" that we each create for ourselves and those are wildly different. (And that's great about them!) For some, that means that e.g. the Hero of Ferelden died killing the Archdemon. Or that Hawke sided with the mages. Or that the Inquisitor exiled the Wardens. Or that Rook tricked Solas. Romances and optional relationships between NPCs fall into the category of personal "canon". Let's not forget that. It's so stupid to argue about which relationship is more legit when it literally depends on the player's choice. This is a reminder aimed especially at the part of the fandom crying that Neve's romance with Lucanis somehow invalidates Rook's romance with him.

As for them reusing small bits of Lucanis' romance scenes with Rook for his romance with Neve. Mostly this just means that he mentions her in like... two dialogues, maybe. It doesn't bother me, because to me that is the smart move, because it saved them time that they could invest into something else, probably more significant. I think it would bother me way more if they actually put unnecessary time into creating a lot extra content for them when I could have it instead. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think it takes anything away from Lucanis' romance, because his romance and dynamic with Rook, overall, is delightful and consists of so much more than one short cutscene and a couple of lines.

Again, I'm not here to argue with anyone. Mostly, I think. I'm here to offer my perspective and also information for those who haven't seen Lucanis x Neve for themselves, don't have time for multiple playthroughs, or whatever, but are interested and/or want to know more about Lucanis for their headcanon.

Now, I'm going to end this rambling here, otherwise I'll keep adding to it forever. Pardon any mistakes or nonsense, I can't bear to read this all again, haha. If you've read all the way here, thank you so much for putting up with my bullshit. That's crazy.

[kjhbsies]

The Disaster Zone

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Roomate!Abby Anderson x reader

synopsis: Living with the hottest girl wasn't that bad, right? Except that she was completely straight and had a boyfriend you hated.

wordcount: 7, 758

note: this fiction contains (internal) homophobia and comphet as Abby explores her sexuality. if you were uncomfortable with these kinds of stories, then maybe this isn't for you. please refrain from commenting on any hate comments. thank you and happy reading!

Sweat prickled from your forehead, trickling down your face and across your neck and you almost yelled in frustration at the feeling of getting overstimulated over everything. You sighed, irritated, trudging your way outside of the apartment you just viewed. 

One week before the class starts and you still haven’t got a place to live and stressful is such an understatement to say. No, it’s much more than that. You never thought that finding a decent place to stay for two semesters wasn’t hard, but no — it was like searching for a needle in a haystack, and the needle was just a reasonably priced apartment with no angry roommates. 

You grumbled, laying your head on the couch of your bedroom. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through the listings of the apartments available, feeling the stress building with each rejected option. 

But to your luck, you stumbled upon someone’s ad. It was a nice, cozy place that was perfect in size for two people. Her name was Abby Anderson. Her last name was quite familiar, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you had heard it. Her place looked promising enough, and the reason she was looking for a roommate was that she couldn’t pay all the house bills by herself. Under that, there was a deadline — which was supposed to be today, so you mindlessly hit the ‘call’ button with no second thoughts.

“Hello?” Abby’s voice came through the other line; her voice was deep and businesslike.

“Hey, uh, I saw your ad for the apartment,” You replied while nibbling your fingertips.

“Oh, great. Are you interested in visiting it?” She asked, her tone was still cool and detached.

“Yes, please, I need it so bad.” You bit your lips while nervousness came through.

“Alright. Let’s set up a time, then. Are you free this afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I’ll send you the address.” She said before hanging up quickly.

You stared at your phone for a minute, finding the interaction a bit… awkward. A sense of relief washed over you as the thought of finally finding a place to stay for the whole academic year was done, but something about Abby made you feel anxious. Her coldness scared you for a second — even if you just talked to her for a couple of minutes. 

But no, you promised yourself that this was the last time you’d reject a place because of a bad roommate. So you don’t have a choice but to go. 

Arriving at the address, you knocked at the door thrice. Seconds later, you saw Abby Anderson. You gulped, taking in her features. She was tall, stoic, and… unimpressed. She was wearing a simple black shirt that perfectly hugged her toned body, making you gawk mentally. Her eyes bore into yours, looking at you from head to toe. Something inside Abby’s mind twitched as she did not expect how good you looked. But she immediately strayed away from that thought, minding no attention to it. 

“Thanks for coming. I apologize for my appearance — I just got off the gym.” She says in a neutral voice, opening the door wide open. “Come on in.” 

“It’s fine.” You said before stepping inside. 

The apartment was bigger than you expected — much bigger than the photos she uploaded. The furniture was complete, and the choice of its design was very intricate and extravagant — you wondered if she bought it all with her money. Maybe she spent her money buying decorations, which is why she couldn’t pay the house bills.

The huge windows let the sunlight in, casting a warm glow through the whole place. You admired how neat it was and how everything was in place. Not even a small piece of trash in sight. As Abby showed you around, pointing out every amenity and quirk of this place, you couldn’t help but admire her silently. 

“So what do you think?” She looked back at you suddenly, making you snap out of a trance.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I like it.” You shot her a smile. “This was much better than all of the places I’ve checked.”

Abby nodded, taking your answer without further comment or questions. You looked away, feeling nervous at the closeness between you two. With the whole three hours of you and her in just an enclosed space, Abby did not look at you. Something about your presence makes her uncomfortable and she did not know what that is. 

But then she looked at you for the second time, taking a couple of minutes to stare at your features without you knowing. Abby did not know why it was so hard for her to accept that you were pretty. No, you were something more than that. And she did not know what that was, or what was doing to her that was making her heart churn.

“Damn it,” Abby looked away and cursed under her breath.

You snapped your neck to stare at her. “What was that?” You asked.

“Nothing. It seems like you are interested. Are you open to discussing the other details?” She said, gesturing at the couch.

And just like that, the deal was done. 

And oh, that was one month ago. 

You and Abby are still living with each other. But all of your admiration for her was over.

She has a whole-ass boyfriend. 

And she’s straight as hell.

Now, you hate each other to the core. 

Turns out Abby Anderson wasn’t renting because she was poor. Technically, at that time, she was. However, you found out that her family was crazy rich and could probably buy your entire bloodline. 

The reason that she was finding a roommate to share the apartment with was that her father limited her expenses in the meantime as Abby spent a huge sum of money in the casino while on a summer break, causing her dad to deduct some money from her allowance. 

Abby Anderson was the typically rich person you’d meet. She has a puppy she recently adopted one sunny day, and she named it Oreo — a St. Bernard. Ever since, there has been a new joy in the apartment, breaking the awkward tension between you and Abby that was lingering in the air. You learned how to love Oreo despite his unwavering energy.

Being an only child, Abby doesn’t have anyone to share things that her parents buy her, and she develops a trait of being territorial over those she owns. However, seeing you play with her puppy and how your face lit up every time Oreo cuddled with her, Abby could not put an end to your joy for whatever reason she couldn’t figure out. She just liked to think that she was just being a kind person and to not be an asshole for no apparent reason, and nothing else.

On the other side, you were grateful that Abby was letting you play with her dog. Because, truth be told, you were still getting tense whenever she was around. And Oreo definitely warms up the place much more. 

You didn’t know that being roommates with Abby Anderson could make everything so complicated. She was the top student in class, always ranking high in their department, and was considered one of the top-notchers in the university already. Her dad was a famous surgeon in the city and was respected by many, and Abby definitely wanted to prove that she could be like her father — or better. She only has two friends — Nora and Mel, whom you only saw in the hallways of your university alongside her. Abby was a mysterious person, and even though you had now been living for a month with her, you did not know much about her. 

She wasn’t a talkative person, and you two never interacted with each other so much. You could definitely count the times she has spoken to you with your hands. Her after school would be changing into gym clothes, making and eating a snack in the kitchen, and then leaving. She would go back at 7:00 PM and would go straight inside the bathroom and into her bed. 

But let’s talk about the real issue here.

Her boyfriend.

Owen was a gym rat who sported short brown hair, brown eyes, and a small mustache around his chin. Abby introduced you to him when she first invited him over, and you found out that he was much older than Abby. At first, you weren’t bothered by her presence since he seemed okay and not much of a harm. However, as Abby invited him over and over again, something inside you grew uncomfortable.

Maybe it was because whenever he was around, you’d often see him giving you dirty looks that sent shivers up your spine, or that he liked to fully make out with Abby in different spots in the apartment outside of Abby’s room, or that every time Owen and Abby were cuddling or doing sweet things with each other, you’d caught her staring at you from time to time. 

“Really?!” Dina exclaimed through the phone as you were narrating the last line to her. 

“I really do want to know why.” You grabbed a bag of chips before walking away from the kitchen.

“Maybe she likes you?” 

You stopped walking when you saw Abby and Owen cuddling in the living room, her head placed on Owen’s shoulder as they both watched a silly movie.

You sighed. “No, I think it’s actually the opposite of it.”

It was an exceptionally good day at Pinecrest University, one of the most prestigious schools in the U.S., which everyone dreamt of attending. From the picturesque sceneries of the landscapes where it was built, and to the educational qualities it provides, it was, in fact, no doubt one of the greatest universities in the world. 

Abby did not know whether or not she would be happy that she was given an opportunity to take after her father's steps — follow his path and become like what he is — a great surgeon. In the first year, she was giddy to study, full of hope and dreams. Everyone recognizes her for being Jerry Anderson’s only daughter, praising her for being intelligent like he was. Abby was every professor’s favorite student as she possessed exceptional skills in everything. While it was good at first, Abby did not like the pressure weighing up on her shoulders as time passed by. Being someone who everyone expects to be good at everything all the time makes her become careful of her actions as she becomes afraid of making mistakes. 

“What?” Leah snapped her neck in Abby’s direction.

“Nothing. Thought I heard something.” Abby shook her head.

“You know what I heard earlier?” Nora looked at Abby, eyes gleaming with mischief, with a small smirk plastered on her face.

“What?” The blonde furrowed her brows before sitting on an empty spot at the library.

“Y/n Y/l/n. Your roommate.”

Leah’s eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. “You’re roommates with her?” She exclaimed in a hushed tone.

The lines on Abby’s face deepened as she looked at her friends, not knowing what the fuss was about. “What about her?”

Nora was about to say something when, as if on cue, you started to walk behind her, trudging away from their table but not without a quick glance at Abby, who, to your surprise, was already staring at you with curiosity. 

You were not one to back down, so you held her gaze up until you sat beside Ellie, who was finishing her homework that was due this afternoon. 

“Who was that?” Dina asked, looking back. 

“My roommate.” 

“Oh! The one who–” Dina started gesturing and muttering words that you could only understand. 

“What the fuck,” Ellie cursed loudly as she stared at you two with pure astonishment.

“She’s friends with Williams,” Abby uttered with surprise.

“Yeah, everyone’s been suspecting that they’re more than that,” Nora said.

“Than what? They’re super best friends or something?” Abby folded her arms on her chest before taking a quick glance in your direction. She found you laughing along with your friends, but something inside her stirred as she saw Ellie’s hands crawling at your torso, dangerously close to where your hips at.

Nora and Leah chuckled loudly. 

“What the fuck? Super best friends?” Leah looked at her with pure amusement. “Oh, I forgot, you don’t get it–” She turned to Nora. “She doesn’t get it.” She says, pointing her thumb at the blonde.

“Okay, in straight girl terms, Ellie and Y/n might be a couple,” Nora explained.

“But Ellie’s a girl,” Abby says, confused. 

Nora and Leah exchanged glances.

"You won’t ever get it, can you?” Leah rolled her eyes.

“What?” Abby’s eyes widened. “Wait– Is Y/n… gay?”

“You say that word as if it’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever muttered.” Nora glared at her. “Yes, she’s gay, Abs. Apparently, she’s a great kisser, too.”

“I can’t believe she’s gay.” Abby sighed; something inside her was growing uncomfortable.

“Abby, that’s a mean thing to say.” Nora frowned. “What if she was? There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“I know! But I mean, I don’t know, it’s confusing.” 

“It isn’t. Y/n likes a girl, and that shouldn’t change the way you view her. It’s just a sexuality, she’s not gonna bite you.”

Abby stared in your direction, contemplating and thinking about everything. months of studying different kinds of textbooks every week couldn’t prepare her for the said subject. Sexuality was something that she was not well-informed about, as the topic stirred something inside of her. Being raised in a conservative and religious family who has a well-known image to take care of made her realize that her world was much different than yours. 

After a long day of work in the laboratory, doing research on different chemicals, monitoring their progress, and waiting for the results, Abby felt like she was going to collapse right when she stepped foot into the hotel’s lobby where your shared apartment was located. 

She sighed, forcing a fake smile to greet the receptionist. 

“Hey, Liam, did you see Owen come in?” She asked, leaning on the desk. 

“No, I don’t think so, Abby.” He says, offering an apologetic smile before attending to another elderly woman who is asking for something. 

Being with Owen at such a young age means that Abby had experienced everything that is there to experience whenever you are in a relationship with a shitty person. Sure, she wouldn’t admit that Owen was a bad boyfriend to her, but she knew that he wasn’t a good person either. 

Abby sighed before dragging her feet through the floors, growing very tired at each step. Now, if this was the first time that Owen had gone through the entire day without checking up on her, being with clubs with different girls dangling on both her arms, Abby would’ve been crying all her way to her room – just like what she did before. But being the person who became accustomed to this setup with her boyfriend, Abby could only grow numb, only feeling a faint sharp pain dragging through her heart, reminding her that she chose to be with him, so she had to deal with it. 

Besides, no one ever wants Owen for her. 

Not her friends.

Not her dad.

And she won’t be surprised if you tell her that you hate him, too.

“Where are you?” Abby hissed through the phone, feeling the rage consuming her as she listened to Owen stumble and slur through his words, finding great difficulty to even remember who was calling him. 

“Abby, baby! I’m uh- sorry, I was at a—” Owen’s voice was drowned out by the loud music, along with different voices from his friends and a couple of giggles from different girls in the background.

“Bullshit.” Abby cursed him before ending the call. She wanted to just quickly disappear right there and then, feeling like an absolute shit so many times.

“Hey,” You greeted, placing a gentle hand around her shoulder. 

Abby jolted, almost feeling like your touch was too hot for her skin. “Yeah? You scared me.”

“Oh! Sorry! Didn’t mean to do that.” You apologized profusely. “I thought you were sick.” You gestured to your face, and Abby mindlessly touched her forehead, feeling the cold sweat on the palms of her hand. 

She cursed under her breath. Now that you’ve pointed it out, Abby felt her vision swirling as her breathing got labored. Even if she couldn’t look at her face, she could assume that she was pale already. But instead of saying that she was indeed not okay, she dismissed your question by saying, “I’m perfectly fine.”

Abby tried to walk, but then she almost tripped on her fifth step. Before she could kiss the tiled floor, you caught her body, wrapping a delicate arm around her hip to help her stabilize her stance. 

“Quit being stubborn, okay?” You said, stopping her from even uttering a single protest when she opened her lips. You looked at her sternly, making her go silent. 

As much as Abby hated being close to you at the moment, she couldn’t move. Not when her mind had shut down the moment your warm fingertips touched her waist, not when your face inched closer to hers, and not when your smell lingered in the air and started to consume Abby whole.

You did not know which force on the entire earth had given you the energy to drag Abby all the way to your shared apartment. To be fair, Abby’s body was toned and muscular, given the time that she was working out at the gym, and not only could you feel her weight leaning upon your much smaller figure, but you were also touching her well-earned biceps and abs. 

“Okay, lean in there for a second, and I’ll just open the door.” You commanded, carefully releasing your grip from Abby’s body as she leaned towards the cold wall while waiting for you to get your keys from the bag. Abby watched you silently with wandering eyes, feeling a sense of disappointment gushing through when you stopped touching her. 

“Shit.” Abby cursed loudly while screwing her eyes shut. 

“What?” You asked before lightly pushing the door, revealing a very excited Oreo who had been barking since he saw you. 

“N-nothing.” Abby stammered when you enveloped her in your hands once again. Her heart thrummed inside her chest, reaching the vibrations to her ears, and all she could think about at that moment was your name.

Y/n.

“Abby?” You asked, placing her on the sofa carefully. Y/n. 

“Y/n.” 

“Is there something I could help you with?” You waved your hand in front of her eyes, making Abby snap out of the trance. She blinked rapidly, trying to focus her gaze on your eyes and your eyes only. But Abby found it so hard, especially when your face was so much closer to her that she could feel your breath fanning over her lightly.

“What?” Abby asked. 

“You were calling my name.”

Shit.

“Am I?” 

“Look, just… lay there and make yourself comfortable, okay? I’m just going to cook for you.”

“Ah, there’s no need. I can order–” Abby opened her phone, face getting sour at seeing her wallpaper — Owen.

“This won’t take long. And I really am good at cooking, so trust me.” You flashed her a sweet smile before rushing to the kitchen.

“For sure…” Abby whispers, watching how your skirt dances perfectly as you walk, hugging your curves. When she realized that she was staring at your ass, Abby shut her eyes tightly, pinching her nose bridge while telling herself to get a fucking grip. 

True to your words, you were a great cook. 

Abby found herself in a blanket-clad position as she sipped at the bowl slowly, not wanting to make it seem that she was so eager to taste the soup. Which, in her opinion, was probably the best one she had ever taken. She was almost thankful that you insisted on cooking for her instead of buying a delivery from a fast food chain — something that she has always done whenever she was sick.

“Are you feeling better?” You asked, sitting at the loveseat in front of her while brushing Oreo’s fur with your fingers. The dog wags his tail joyfully, making Abby smile. 

“Yes. Thank you.” She sighed. “I think I’m just over-fatigue.” 

“You should probably rest. Ditch the school works; it’s Friday.” 

“I know. I will.” Abby nods.

“Good.” You stood up. “I’ll clean up for a bit. Call my name if you need something.”

“Sure.” Abby put on a tight-lipped smile. You nod before making your way to your bedroom. “I enjoyed it.”

“What?” You turned around, looking at her. 

“The soup. It was the best.” Abby bit the inside of her cheek, feeling her face heating up. 

You smiled widely, heart swelling with pride and joy as you heard her compliment, “Thanks.” You said before entering your own bed, gently closing the door before you almost squeak in pure bliss. 

But that was short-lived as you realized that she’s Abby Anderson. 

And she’s way out of your league.

After lounging in her bedroom for a day while ignoring everyone’s texts and calls, Abby had never felt much alive.

Maybe it was due to the fact that she got enough sleep and rest, not seeing Owen, or maybe because of you. As much as Abby still never felt comfortable enough with your presence near her, she was thankful for being roommates with you. 

It is true that you two weren’t friends to begin with. There’s not to say that she wasn’t fond of you, truth be told is — you make her think of so many things that she couldn’t name, or make her feel something she never knew what that is. 

However, as much as Abby wanted to go back to ignoring you while she was finally okay, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for your help when she was sick. So, she decided to ask you out — and it’s just a friendly date just to repay your kindness.

Rays of sunlight pierced through the large windows of your apartment, perfectly illuminating your figure as you stood in front of the full-length mirror and examined your face. As Abby was descending down the stairs, she couldn’t help but stare at your back, trailing her gaze from your hair to the soft plush of your thighs. She immediately looked away, feeling a small sweat prickling down her forehead, which she quickly wiped, not wanting to appear nervous or such.

Abby cleared her throat, making you look at her. 

“You’re going somewhere?” She asked silently, busying herself with removing dog furs from her shirt. 

“Yeah, uh, just going to visit this newly opened cafe. My friend says it’s good.”

Abby nodded, looking away. She tried to guess who that friend was. Was it the curly-haired girl you were talking to in the library? Or the tattooed one named Ellie? 

“Are you going with someone?”

“Just me.” You smiled. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah, I would love to.” 

Abby has never gone on a date with someone else other than Owen, Leah, Nora, and her father. So being alone with you ignited something within her.

You were sitting across from her, giving her a perfect view of your face. She probably looked at you so many times that she couldn’t keep track of her fingers, and she was scared you’d think that she was creepy as hell. It’s just that she couldn’t look away or divert her attention to some other things when a gorgeous girl was in front of her. 

You were chatty, telling her some stories from your first year in the university that Abby found so adorable that she couldn’t stop herself from eliciting a small smile on her lips. You liked to joke around, giving some playful banters that Abby found witty. She never thought that talking to you was the best thing she’d ever experienced. She admired how you were so smiley, radiating light and hopeful vibes, infecting her in the meantime, breaking her out of the cold and dark shell she was caged in. 

It was fun. 

So, so fun.

And she doesn’t know why your company scares her.

"Come on, babe, I’ll do everything you want,” Ellie whined through the phone and your eyes almost rolled off at the back of your head at her dramatic ass. 

“Figure it out on your own, Ellie.” 

“I’m gonna fail!” She says, shuffling across her room.

“You should’ve thought about that before skipping your classes.”

“Come on,” Ellie answers.

“Why are you so annoying?”

“You love me.” You can imagine Ellie’s smirk. “I’m bringing snacks.” 

“You should be.” You rolled your eyes once again before hanging up the phone. 

It was 8:00 in the evening, and you were already in your pajama-clad state as you made your way to the dining room with your laptop clutched around your chest. The whole apartment was dimly lit, with only the warm lampshades as the source of light. Oreo was already sleeping on his bed, filling the silence in the air and comforting you. 

Abby was nowhere to be found ever since you got in here after school. You waited for her to appear, eating whatever she made in the kitchen which was usually at 7:00 PM, or to make her way to the bathroom, putting on an obnoxiously loud song that you could practically hear from across the room. But she wasn’t here. 

You two aren’t exactly friends. For sure, you two got closer when she was sick, but after the date you two had, Abby was back again into ignoring your presence. You did not know what to feel because you thought you were on to a good start now. Truth be told, you wanted to get to know her even more but it seems like she doesn’t really want to. 

She was a mysterious woman. You always hear things about her at school. They all say that she was a smart person, always on top of the class. Everyone adored Abby, and you couldn’t blame them for that. You liked her, too, even though she was like that. 

Three consecutive knocks on the door put you out of a trance, lightly making you flinch. You screwed your eyes shut before standing up. Of course, it’s Ellie.

She smiled widely, flashing you a toothy grin before lifting the paper bags in both of her hands. You opened the door, letting her in at the apartment.

“Jesus, where’s all the lights? I can’t see shit.” Ellie whispered. 

“Don’t be too loud,” You nudged her. “You’ll wake up the dog.” You flicked the switch, opening the big lights just like Ellie liked, revealing the well-decorated apartment. Ellie seemed to be in awe, scanning the whole house. To be fair, it really was pleasing to the eye, so you can’t blame her. If there’s one thing you and Abby could agree on, it is the interior design of the place. It was a Mediterranean revival style, taking upon the beautiful Spanish architecture that you both loved. It was a very lovely house, something you didn’t expect to live in. 

“Dude, your apartment was great!” Ellie complimented, sitting down beside you. She opened her laptop before gathering pieces of paper in her bag. 

“Yeah, well, thanks to my roommate.” You shrugged, grabbing a piece of fries that Ellie brought. 

You two got to work afterward, not wasting any time. You did not want to stay up too late, and on the contrary, Ellie did not want to sleep. She says she has to go to the club at 10:00 PM, hence, she was listening to your instructions carefully, nodding at every word you say, and working seriously. To be honest, Ellie was a smart person. She was just distracted by too many things — girls, clubs, and her guitar, which made her have a hard time managing her time. Which was why she was always late for class, sometimes even skipping them unintentionally. It was the reason why her guardian, Joel, kept scolding her. 

“You were smart, you know. You just don’t know how to properly execute it.” You said to her as you were cleaning up the mess at the kitchen table.

Ellie smirked while putting her bag on. “I’ll see myself out.” She says, ignoring your compliment. 

You nodded, opening the door quietly. “Take care, El.” 

“Thank you so much for helping me.” She says, grinning at you while pinching your cheek. You winced at her touch, immediately swatting her hand. Before you could slap her shoulder, Ellie was running through the elevator while giggling. “Bye!” You hear her say. 

You laughed, shaking your head at how childish she was. As you were about to lock the doors, Abby’s tall figure appeared in front of you, making you flinch in shock. 

“What the hell?” You cursed, placing your hand on your loud beating heart. “Where did you come from?” 

Abby’s brows furrowed deeply as she scanned your face and back to the elevator. “Who was that?” She asked, walking past you. You can sense her irritation as she sits on the couch, removing her pair of loafers. 

“It’s… Ellie—”

“Your girlfriend?” Abby looked at you with a stoic face. 

“What? No—”

“Well then, why was she here? What could you two be possibly doing late at night?” 

“Woah, woah.” You raised your hands in surrender before walking in front of Abby. “Where was this coming from? Me and Ellie were just friends, and we’re not doing anything you’re thinking.” 

“And how could I believe that?” Abby stood up, towering over you. 

“And if we really were doing whatever you think we were, then it’s none of your fucking business, Abby.” 

“It is my business because you are living with me. It is one thing to share a house with a woman who– who likes girls—”

“You can say lesbian. It wouldn’t burn your tongue.” You stopped her, feeling an internal rage boiling into your skin. You were clenching your jaw hard, stopping the urge to punch this woman in front of you. 

“Then keep that to yourself. I am not uncomfortable with you doing that.” 

Your brows furrowed. “Doing what? Being myself?” 

The living room suddenly feels deafening as the silence consumes you two. Abby looked away, arms crossed as her eyes were fixed on the floor. You sighed, shoulders going slump before looking outside the window. Tears started brimming at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill at any second.

“Abby, you know I didn’t choose this. It’s who I am,” You say, voice trembling slightly as you gulp, silently wishing that the lump in your throat would go away. “Just like what you are. You did not choose to be straight, and I never got mad at you for that, did I? No matter how uncomfortable it is to find you and your weird boyfriend doing unspeakable things every single week.” You looked and glared at her.

“What? Why are you turning this on me?” Abby’s voice boomed, her face going red as anger silently consumed her. 

“If you say something about my sexuality, it’s fine? But when I say it back to yours then you’re getting mad? For a very intelligent person, you’re such a fucking closed-minded, Anderson!” You yelled, storming through your room and slamming the door with a loud thud, making the dog wake up in its sleeping state. 

Abby stood there for a long moment, staring at your closed door, the weight of her words settling in. She immediately wanted to knock on your door and take it all back. But she knew she couldn’t. The silence that followed her was deafening, a painful reminder of the distance that stretched before you two. 

The cafeteria buzzed with the usual lunchtime chatter, but at your table, the mood was tense. Dina almost spat the food she was eating as she looked at you with pure shock in her eyes as you recounted your fight with Abby last night.

“She seriously said that?” She exclaimed, fuming, as she stabbed her food with a fork. “I cannot believe she reacted like that.���

You shrugged, feeling dejected as you played with your food with a spoon, not feeling an ounce of hunger. “I know, I thought she’d understand – I mean, she should be, right? She’s smart.” 

“Not smart enough for that kind of talk.” Dina sighed. “Seriously, I cannot believe it. It’s unfair to you, and you shouldn’t have to live with that kind of person. Who knows what she might do to you.” 

“You’re right. I’m going to start to hunt for another place after the midterms. I just can’t fit it in my schedule right now as loads of paperwork start coming and coming in.” You shut your eyes tightly while combing your hair in frustration. “I just thought we were starting to be friends, you know?”

Dina smiled at you sadly before rubbing your back. At that moment, Ellie walked in with a huge grin on her face. She spotted you and Dina at the table, and she immediately started walking towards it, but not before playfully bumping and greeting all of the people she knew. She slid beside you before sitting on the empty chair next to you. 

“Thanks for helping me with my homework. I got an A.” She threw playful punches in the air. 

Dina slapped her. “Shut it.” She says before taking a glance at you. 

You smiled at Ellie, the one where it doesn’t meet your eyes. “No worries.”

Ellie frowned; her smile immediately faded as she took in your expression. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.” You sighed, feeling the weight of yesterday’s event pressing down on you again. “It’s Abby. We had a huge fight. She started accusing us of doing things at the apartment, and she doesn’t seem to like that I was gay.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in anger. “That’s fucking bullshit! Out of all people, I thought she’d understand that.”

“What do you mean?” Dina asked.

“I mean, is she not gay?” 

“Uhm… no. She has a boyfriend.” 

“Well, this is now confusing.” Ellie looked at you with disbelief while leaning back in the chair. “I thought she was one of us!”

“Everyone else does. I mean, I do, too, when I first saw her.” You said, shrugging. 

“That’s fucking ironic, then.” Ellie sighed. “But she fucking needs to grow up and get over herself.”

“Exactly. Our apartment is always open whenever you need it, okay?” Dina squeezed your hand. 

You nodded, feeling a warmth gushing through your veins. You are thankful for your friends as they can ease your problems effectively. Abby’s words pierced right through your heart, but being with Ellie and Dina made it easier to bear. 

Abby sat at one of the reserved seats for her at the rooftop of a fancy restaurant that her dad picked for them to have a meal after having time for a small break from his work. Wanting to reconcile and check in with his only daughter, he arranged this small meeting with her. 

The place was elegant, with warm lighting from the big chandeliers illuminating the whole area. At the distance was a small band playing jazz music, and the gentle clicks of the silverware created a sophisticated aura. Abby sat across from her father, trying to focus on her meal. Jerry kept stealing glances at her daughter as he cut into his steak, trying to decipher what was wrong. 

“Was the food not good?” He asked suddenly after a moment of silence consuming the two. 

Abby’s gaze immediately flicked to meet his eyes. Her brows raised in confusion, trying to recall what her father said. “What? Uh… no.” Abby shook her head before sipping her drink. 

Jerry shrugged. “Just that you seemed tensed.”

“I’m not,” Abby responds. “The place is great.”

He hummed, nodding at what her daughter said. “So, how’s life in the apartment?” He asked, his tone casual but probing. 

“It’s fine. You know, the usual. I was able to pay for all of my bills, since, well, I got a roommate.” 

“And how was she?” He raised a brow. “What was her name, again?”

Abby said your name as she was pushing off her unfinished meal. She sighed, dabbing her lips with the handkerchief. “It’s fine… just a bit tense between us.”

Jerry looked at her with narrow eyes. “It’s fine but tense? What does that mean?”

Abby hesitated, not wanting to answer the question fully. She never knew what her dad would say if he found out that her roommate was gay. Besides, they never talked about that kind of stuff. All that she knew right now was that she didn’t want to tell anyone about your personal information.

“Personal stuff came up. I-it’s complicated, and I don’t want to talk about it now.”

He sets his fork down, leaning back in his chair. “Personal stuff? Abby, if there’s a problem, you should fix it right away. You can’t just ignore it.”

“I know, Dad.” She answered, frustrations creeping up her voice as what happened that night started replaying in her mind. “It’s not that simple. But I don’t want her out of the apartment or anything… We’ll figure this out on our own.”

He studied her for a minute before nodding slowly, not wanting to press more on that matter. “Alright, but don’t let it become worse. Things like these can get ugly the more you avoid it.”

Abby exhaled a relieved sigh. “I know. I’ll handle it.”

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence before her father cleared his throat and changed the subject. “And what about Owen? How’s he doing?”

Abby’s face softened at the mention of his boyfriend — wait, she wasn’t even sure if she could still call him that, knowing what had happened. She ignored his calls for days, not wanting to be in his presence to get a lot of time thinking about things. Abby thought it’d be best if she could calm down first, set aside her emotions, and be rational for once. She sighed heavily, keeping in her mind to talk to him once her father dropped her off after dinner. 

“He's good. Busy with work, as usual, which was why we don’t see each other as often.” She lied, not wanting her father to pry on their relationship. She knew he was skeptical of him since the very beginning. He liked to say that Owen was up to no good and that he was just an older man who didn’t think about his future. As much as Abby tried to argue with him at first, Jerry had already formed opinions about him — ones that Abby couldn’t alter. But deep inside, she knew he was right. She just doesn’t want to admit it yet.

“I really hope he’s taking good care of you.” He says, eyeing her once again with glaring eyes. “If I ever get the news that he is being a bad influence on you, I’m going to cut all of your cards.” Jerry threatened her. 

Oh, right, Owen was the one who insisted on gambling that night, making Abby almost lose all of her savings in her bank account. He also taught her to drink, smoke, and go into different kinds of clubs. You bet how mad Jerry was when he found out everything about it. 

Abby only offered a tight-lipped smile, trying to change the subject to lighter topics. Throughout the whole dinner, Abby’s mind was always shifting to your unresolved fight as guilt started to consume her whole. She knew her father’s advice was great, but she couldn’t bear to do it. Besides, it was easier said than done. For now, she decided to enjoy the meal in front of her, pushing away her worries at the back of her mind. 

That night, Jerry decided to drop his daughter off before going into his office. She sat in the backseat of his car, staring out the window as the city lights they passed were blurred by with the speed of the vehicle. Abby tried to maintain her composure, as she tried calling Owen’s phone for the nth time but he wasn’t answering. Each unanswered notification on the screen made her anxiety slowly skyrocket. 

When they finally reached their destination, the car came to a stop. Abby immediately opened the car door. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you?” Her father asked as he pulled up in front of Owen’s apartment.

Abby shook her head. “It’s fine, Dad.” 

“Alright. Give me a call if you need anything.” 

“I will,” She assured. “Take care.” 

With that, Jerry nodded before uttering a small ‘good night’ to his daughter. Abby followed the car's gaze before deciding to head to Owen’s apartment with a heavy sigh.

Abby hated this feeling. 

For someone who has been cheated on by the same guy, she did not know why she couldn’t turn numb. She hated the confrontation between her and Owen because she knew that it didn’t always end well. However, she did not know why she couldn’t just walk away from this relationship forever. It was like there’s some force between her that keeps on tangling herself with Owen — no matter how shitty he was. Abby hated how her father’s words, along with her friends' advice, kept replaying in her mind. It made her feel like she was the dumbest person in the whole world. 

“For a very intelligent person, you’re such a fucking closed-minded, Anderson!”

Your words rang in her ears repeatedly. 

“Fuck it.” Abby cursed, trying to shake those thoughts before knocking on Owen’s door. She stood there for a couple of minutes before speaking once again. “I’m coming inside.” She notified him before fishing out his apartment key from her bag. 

As Abby came inside, she noticed how the room was romantically lit up — where different pieces of scented candles and dimly lit lanterns were on, casting off a warm glow throughout the room. An unfamiliar woman’s perfume filled her nose, breaking her heart little by little as she strode through his room. 

Abby pushed Owen’s bedroom door, revealing him with another woman in his bed.

“Owen?” She asked, her voice tense. 

He scrambled to sit up, a mix of shock and fear written through his face. “Abby… I — I can explain.” He immediately grabbed his boxers, putting them on in just a couple of seconds. 

“Leave,” Abby commanded the girl who quickly complied. She grabbed her clothes before running past Abby, a pure horrified look was written on her face as she left the bedroom.

“I was checking in to see if you were still alive. And right now, I wish you were dead.” Abby’s jaw clenched. 

“You don’t mean that,” Owen huffed, trying to grab Abby’s hand, but she quickly moved away from his touch. He shrank, feeling dejected. 

“How many times do you have to do this, Owen?” Abby snapped, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “What was something I don’t have for you to crave on another woman’s body?” 

“It’s a mistake. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Abby sniffed, nodding at his words sarcastically. “Yeah, we’re done. It’s all done forever.” Abby started walking, but Owen was tailing her from behind.

“What? What do you mean?” He asked, completely alarmed.

“I can’t keep wasting my time with you. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

“You can’t possibly mean that.” His voice boomed, making the blonde face him with bloodshot eyes. 

“I fucking do! I am so tired of putting up with your shit. Don’t ever come near me, alright? I am so disgusted with you.” She says before storming outside. 

Owen tried calling her name, and a feeling of sudden fear washed inside of him. Of all the times the two broke up about this, he hadn’t seen Abby so mad that she fully said that they were finally done because he knew that she couldn’t bear to part ways with him for good. This was the reason why he was so confident to do those. But right now, she sounded determined, and Owen knew that it wasn’t good. 

Abby’s thoughts were spiraling by the time she got back to the apartment. A mix of emotions started forming in her mind, making her heart clench as she stumbled inside. Tears started streaming down her face, making her barely notice that you were fully wide awake while staring at her in the kitchen with a curious stare. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, breaking the silence. 

Abby’s gaze flicked to your face, down to the food that you were cooking. Pasta. It was midnight, and you were cooking pasta. 

“W-what?” She asked, trying to focus, but her stomach started grumbling as the aroma of the food filled her nose. “I’m fine.” 

You nodded, biting your tongue to ask further questions at her. 

 “What’s that?” Abby asked, making her way to the kitchen.

Your brows rose as you took a good look at her face. She looked like… a mess. And that’s not like her. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Abby sighed heavily before shaking her head. “We broke up.” 

“Oh…” 

A short silence filled the air as Abby watched you put two plates on the island, filling them with the pasta you’d made.

You pushed one in front of her, and Abby looked at you with wide eyes. “For me?”

“I know we’re not on good terms right now. But I don’t want you to sleep like that. Why don’t we eat pasta and watch movies in the living room? I can sit across from you in case you are uncomfortable, and we don’t have to talk with each other.”

“I won’t be uncomfortable…” Abby said in a small voice while looking at the food. 

Your brows rose at her comment. You hummed, not buying her words. “Okay.” 

“I’m sorry for what I’ve said before. It’s not right.” 

You scanned her face. “I don’t know about that.”

“I want to make it up to you.” 

“How?” 

©kjhbsies

taglist: @gaptoothedlesbo @st4r-b3rries @ofalcaodacolinablue @sleepydrr @yurixxiii @seraphicsentences @bambishaven @k1ngpin42 @buglikean-angel @eringranola @sennagf

[pendwelling]

TWSB Genderswap AU thoughts...

(Felt like exploring their designs while in the middle of writing my "What if TWSB Was Genderswapped? : Gender Expectations, Trope Subversion, and How Jung Eunseo's Gender Identity Affects QPB" essay/analysis (which somehow took an somewhat academic turn) 😭 Please look out for that, whenever I finish it... TvT)

I actually spent quite a bit thinking about this lmao (my thought process would make much more sense if you read my essay but it's still a WIP so 🥹👍) Have some fun silly abridged thoughts instead! :

Cédric M. Riester —> Ségolène Benz Riester

I firmly believe that female!Cédric would look a lot like her mom 🥹 Like Mother, Like Daughter! Long hair is a hassle when you're a swordsman, so she keeps it short... (until she gets jealous over Yeseo and Chris bonding over braiding hair TSK)(actually canon tho LOL)

I also gave female!Cédric the name "Ségolène" (Sieglinde) since it's the French female form of "Siegfried" (to which the author originally confirmed was supposed to be his name until it was changed to better fit the Riesterian setting)! "Céline" was also an option, but there's already a Riester ancestor with that name (Ced's grandmother and Frédérique's mom) and I didn't want them to just switch their names or make her "Céline II", and I'm already SO biased towards "Ségolène" hahaha

(As for the middle name. Well. LMAOOOOO It's self-explanatory, but if you're curious, see the screenshots of my IG story justifications later below! I also just thought it was. really funny OTL)

Christelle Olivier Rambouillet —> Christian Aude Rambouillet

A pretty-looking young man by the name of Christian... I chose "Aude" as the middle name, since that was the sister of "Olivier" in the "Chanson de Roland" where the name comes from! It works well, I find, because Aude is also the betrothed of Roland, which ties in to "Christelle/Christian's" character setting of "love interest", and how Ga-in would eventually gain agency outside of it.

I kept male!Chris' hair long because of the significance it carries for Ham Ga-in who couldn't cut it out of respect/guilt for Ollie 🥲 It's quite a small but significant aspect of Ga-in characterization that would translate well into any version of their character: the notion of "this isn't my body, so I must take care of it well in the original owner's place". (And later, the implied future cutting of hair being the resolution of these dilemmas and internal struggle! I love Ham Ga-in a lot...)

(AND YEAH LOL CHRIS IS STILL SHORTER THAN CED, tho if you want to, you can choose to believe that Chris' 19y.o. body still has room for growth xD)

Jung Yeseo:

As for Jung Yeseo... hahaha her name can remain the same! I wanted to draw her as a pretty girl-next-door unnie, who looks studious, gentle, and cute (but surprisingly fierce when angry LMAO)

Major inspiration was taken from brown-haired shoujo-romance MCs! The original body of the MC from "I Raised a Black Dragon" was especially notable for me. Her design was really cute and always reminded me in some way of Yeseo... TTvT

Anyhow, she's naturally a girl who obliviously captures the hearts of both women and men 🥹👍

(And here's my initial messy IG story thoughts!) :

(Additional thoughts from my twitter/x thread 😭) :

In the first place, CeChri in a Genderswap AU would be so funny to me bc woah... Pretty Transmigrated Duke's Son MC x Handsome Crown Princess (who is taller than him)? Revolutionary. It'd probably be a very genre-convention-defying RoFan haha (I WANT IT)

ADDITIONALLY LAUGHING bc FredAu about the engagement would be like: "Sadie, do not worry, you'll like him. Young Lord Christian is a gentle young man known for his reserved personality, who is also very beautiful (reminds a bit of Alex when we were younger...)(insert nostalgic feelings)..."

🔥, after they've finally become acquaintanced: "Not beautiful at all."

🌊 "WTF????"

🔥 "Not gentle either (TSK)."

Ségolène would probably even get pissed off seeing Chris' long hair. As a knight, she always thinks about convenience. Besides, her father could pull it off because he was very beautiful.

🌊 "WOW! Are you really calling your own fiancé ugly then???"

🔥 "And short."

🌊 "............."

Also thinking about Yeseo first transmigrating, trying futilely to remember what Ségolène looks like. According to Eunseo, the main female lead is very beautiful, so Yeseo images a gorgeous woman with long ebony hair who would look amazing in ornate ball gowns worthy of her position as Crown Princess. A cold-hearted beauty.....

Reality —> Gorgeous, tall woman, broad-shouldered and muscular, with short hair and wearing a knight's uniform.

🌷 "!!!?" (JAW DROPS)

'Wow!? Are the standards for female love interests different these days??'

Yeseo is so flustered she can't raise her eyes (Ségolène is too tall 🤭)

"In the first place, isn't the gap between the FL and the 2nd FL too large...?"

Ségolène: Tall, stunning woman in a uniform with fierce eyes. Hair as dark as the night, a figure that looks undoubtedly very reliable and strong. Great with the sword, and would definitely cut you down without hesitation if need be.

Losna: Significantly shorter, gentle-looking beauty with sly eyes. Long golden hair that curls coyly at the ends, divine-looking yet somewhat enticing like a siren. Soft hands that have never touched a blade, but whose tongue could cut deeply while delivering words in the kindest tone.

🌷, heart pounding, flustered (DENSE): (chuckles) "If I were a man, my heart would definitely be in a frenzy! Even the MC is very pretty, too... They truly are the protagonists!!"

🔥 (piercing stare)(wants yeseo so bad)(is it possible for someone to be so lovable?)(cuteness aggression is so real)

🌊 (thinking about how to make yeseo their priest partner)(very determined and having fun)(already making plans to have everyone in an arranged official sleepover that lasts a lifetime<—somewhat warped view of marriage)

Whenever people see CYC together, it's as if the Empress, Cardinal, and Prince Consort have come back from their youth.

A cold-looking and stubborn Crown Princess with a sword, a young powerful Cleric with a gentle face, a Duke's strong and pretty son with long hair.........

FredAu: (fluffy atmosphere, warm sentimentality, fond memories.....)

🌊 "...? Why are they looking at us like that?"

🔥 (knows from FredAu's gazes that she has gotten parental approval)(like mother like daughter LMAO)

🌷 (doesn't know that her fate has been sealed TSKKK)

(If you can't tell, I'm having a lot of fun with this AU LMAO. Please look forward in 19474893 years when I finally finish my What-if Genderswap AU very-serious essay about this topic TTvT👍

[goldenrulemotherfucker]

Ghoulcy: Why?

Okay, I've had this in my drafts for ages and I'm going to use the show's first anniversary as an excuse to hit post. (Important disclaimer that I'm just one person who enjoys this ship. Whatever appeals to you about ghoulcy and their dynamic is good and valid and worthy of exploration even if it's completely different from me!)

In my first watch, I immediately clocked this as the breakout ship for this show. She's a sunshine nerd with a lot of courage; he's a broody loner with a complicated past and a fucked up face. (Can I make it anymore obvious?) They have that ETL potential that is ship kryptonite for so many people, plus a lot of shared screentime thanks to a hostile forced proximity scenario followed by a profound act of kindness. When I hit the finger-sewing scene, where we see that Cooper will literally have a piece of Lucy attached to him him at all times, I laughed out loud. I wasn't actively on board yet, but I knew there was no way this ship wouldn't catch on like wildfire. Truly, if you watched this entire show and you've been active in fandoms for at least a few years, I genuinely don't know how ghoulcy's popularity could possibly come as a surprise at all.

So, there I was on my couch thinking, "oh yeah people are FOR SURE going to want them to take the F train to Pound Town," but that was still in third person since I was naively referring to other people who weren't me. ETL isn't typically my own weakness, so I thought I was safe. I loved all three main characters, but I wasn't feeling super shippy about anyone, just impressed by the show and performances and curious to see what unfolded.

Then I watched ✨ the finale. ✨

For me, Lucy and Cooper's final scene is the hook that makes them not just ship-worthy but brain-melting. Four eps earlier, the moment where she shows him kindness (and saves his life) by giving him the chem vials is a great scene on its own, but the show gives us an even better payoff: Cooper invites her to travel with him by choice this time, warning her that she's in danger and offering to help her find the answers she's seeking. And, fully of her own free will, Lucy does follow him. This could have easily gone differently! Lucy could have looked at him and said "I'm not going anywhere with you" and escaped in another direction. But after his final question, "You comin'?" (which is delivered with the soft earnestness an actor might also use for lines like "I'm sorry" and/or "Please"), she weighs her options and goes with him. This is, inherently, an act of trust for both of them, which is a brand new element for these two. Safe to say I wasn't laughing anymore. Ahem.

Oh, and it also turns out there are roughly 60493 parallels between these two that you only fully catch on rewatches, not to mention tons of foreshadowing, and suddenly their unlikely alliance starts to feel A LOT like fate, which............IS my kyrptonite. ❤️‍🔥

[avocadotoast0]

I'm sorry, but trying to tell Qimir's story without Osha is like telling Anakin's story without Padmé—it just doesn't work. Qimir and Osha are integral to each other's character development, whether some fans like it or not. That's just the reality of their story.

Many fans overlook the "lone wolf searching for connection" aspect of Qimir’s character, which is why Mae’s betrayal cut so deeply. He genuinely cared for her as his student, even though she wasn’t who he truly wanted as an acolyte. Despite her constant failures, he never abandoned her; he was always there, encouraging her and staying by her side. His approach as her master may have been flawed, but his care was undeniable until the moment of betrayal, making that switch in him all the more compelling to watch.

His scars from betrayal run deep, stemming from whatever happened between him and Vernestra when he was a Jedi. This further highlights how vulnerable he is as a person, adding layers to his character that make him even more intriguing.

What makes Qimir so fascinating is that he’s not a traditional Sith. He doesn’t see himself as one; he’s more of a dark-sider who believed the Sith path was his only option. We see this when Osha kills Sol—Qimir wasn’t happy; instead, he looked sorrowful, almost like he was grieving for her, understanding that she had now reached a dark place he was all too familiar with. That’s why he tried to comfort her afterward; he knew the weight of what she’d done.

This is why Leslye wanted to explore a third option—where being a dark-sider doesn’t have to mean becoming a Sith. There’s potential for something different, something more.

Then there’s his romantic side. Qimir never hid his desire for Osha; he actively pursued her without ever trying to force himself on her. He nearly dies trying to get his helmet off her—a girl he barely knew, but because she represents the connection he’s always been searching for, and he’d do anything to protect it.

In fact, Qimir falling in love could have been what saved him—or both of them—from descending further into darkness, especially with Plagueis lurking in the shadows. The show made it clear that Qimir would do anything to protect what’s precious to him. We might have seen Osha being pulled into the darkness, perhaps under Plagueis' influence, and Qimir realising that this path isn't meant for them.

It would have been incredible to watch him and Osha fall in love and try to find a different path, one that steers them away from the chaos and the doomed narrative. How could anyone not want to see that?

[blueishspace]

Lucky Life session 1

Blueishspace: 💚💚💚 (He/Him)

@a-sociopath-do-your-research aka Oli: 💚💚💚 (Xe/Void/It)

@bendy8me aka Bendy: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@raeistrying aka Rae: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@juno0n aka Juno (She/Her): 💚💚💚

@communistcatboi aka Catboi: 💚💚💚 (He/They)

@kazanfamily aka Kazan: 💚💚💚 (He/They)

@twisttea aka Twisttea: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@italianbiscuit aka Manu: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@thatoneloudintrovert aka Floracica: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@whats-she-gonna-post-next aka Starfall: 💚💚💚 (She/They)

@max05nb aka Max: 💚💚💚 (They/Them)

@theblackglitch aka Glitch: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@silverorchideon aka Orchid: 💚💚💚 (He/They)

@the-local-pineapple aka Tessa: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@frostywisp aka Fros: 💚💚💚 (They/Them)

@astoriagalaxy aka Astoria: 💚💚💚 (Any)

@cowgirlginger aka Ginger:💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@lizzlylou aka Liz: 💚💚💚 (They/Them)

@spectresharmony aka Ari: 💚💚💚 (She/Her)

@3-pots-of-soup aka Soup: 💚💚💚 (Any)

@not-ready-for-gaster aka Bee: 💚💚💚 (She/They)

Let's start with the events of today's session:

The game starts, every player goes off in their own direction.

Manu and Starfall find eachother, however they discover no connection between their healthbars. They decide to stick together as they keep searching.

Jono acquires a lama, congrats are in order for this day one lama.

Astoria an Oli find eachother, the two check wether or not they are linked...they aren't, they split off after that, each going their own way.

Catboi attempts to gain a monopoly on sand (There's something ironic about someone called communistcatboi trying to get a monopoly)... It doesn't really work out as Ari has already mined quite a lot of it in an attempt to get her own monopoly on sand.

Ginger, Glitch and Fros stumble onto eachother. None of them end up being linked to eachother but they decide to go together into the Nether. All three of them. (Martyn and Pearl Double Life be like). They get some loot but it's semi-successful at best. Still, no one died.

Floracica also attempts to gain a sand monopoly and I don't need to spin the wheel to know wether she suceeds or not considering two other people already tried...

Soup tries to prank Twisttea by scamming them out of their gear... It goes surprisingly well? (Poor twist).

Ari finds herself a pet as well, a pet cow, name can be whatever she wants it to be.

And then, the first death, Bee accidentally dies to fall damage after falling into a ravine. When she dies she is immediately followed by Floracica. The first linked pair has been found 💛💛.

After a pair is discovered there is a special wheel to decide wether the pair decides to work together (80% chance) or wether one abandons the other like Scott did (20%) and... I kid you not.

Floracica wakes up at spawn and decides to leave behind Bee.

In the meantime Bluish/me attempts to explore the deep dark. (The heart attack I got when I read that) Luckily he isn't dumb and once things go south (because of course they did) he runs away.

Orchid and Rae stumble onto eachother, after a bit of punching eachother they soon realize they are soulbound. They decide to work together. The second pair has been found.💚💚💚

Kazan meets up with Manu and Starfall, still nothing, they still don't find their soulmates, the three keep searching together.

Bendy attempts a monopoly, you'll never guess on what. (Why is it always sand, there's other options, why sand) It doesn't work out as she is like the third/fourth person to try.

Max and Blue meet Orchid and Rae, Max sticks together with the two as they search for mobs to hopefully gather and hide. Blue decides to leave to keep wondering. (Interesting strategy me)

And then I die. Or I guess, Bluish dies to a creeper, he respawns together with Oli. The third pair has been found. Luckily, Oli decides not to abandon Blue and they work together. 💛💛

Tessa finds Ari, they quickly realize their healths are linked together. They are the fourth pair discovered. The two work together to get Ari's pet cow to safety.

Speaking of pets: Liz manages to tame a camel which she then rides across the server.

Tessa and Ari take a break from mob wrangling to visit the Nether, they don't stay long but they do get some stuff.

Soup attemps to gain a monopoly, for once It's not sand... It's sugarcane. They come close to success getting almost all of the sugarcane of the server. (Between this and the successfull scam earlier I'm getting a vibe they'll at least reach the finale)

Astoria attempts a sand monopoly ... I don't even know anymore.

Glitch (Together with Ginger and Fros) find some wolves, they are unable to tame them however as Kazan swoops in and gets them first. (The wheel landed right between Pet acquisition and Prank). Glitch and Ginger specifically swear revenge.

Fros doesn't seem to care because Starfall, who is with Kazan as this happens is their soulbound. The two silently split off from their own groups to find a place to set up base. 💚💚💚

Juno and Bendy encounter eachother and discover their own connection. They are soulbound too. 💚💚💚 Coincidentally, they meet Fros and Starfall soon after... they end up creating the first proper "Alliance" of the series.

Oli and Blue(still me) find and tame some horses and surprisingly no one stops the two, Bdubs would be so jealous. Only Oli gets to ride xyr horse though as there's only one saddle.

Catboi goes on a mining adventure, he finds a mineshaft deep beneath the earth. Finds a golden apple inside, technically he can now sever his soulbound if he wished to.

Orchid, Rae and Max also go into the mines, they find no mineshaft but they do get quite a lot of diamonds. Like, a lot of diamonds.

Kazan and Manu, now without Starfall, meet Liz. Just like that Manu found her soulbound. And the two decide to work together as well. 💚💚💚 Kazan sticks by them, at least for now.

Twisttea sees Ginger and Glitch hanging out, she notices the first is close to a cliff. Twisttea as a joke pushes Ginger off a cliff, she survives the fall but the two realize they are soul-linked. 💚💚💚 (My face when I realize what would happen as soon as the wheel decided it, Twisttea did a Martyn lmao). They decide not to split up though.

We are towards the end of the session now, the soulbound pairs are now revealed:

Bluish (me) + Oli. Allied.💛💛

Glitch + Catboi. 💚💚💚

Starfall + Fros. Allied. 💚💚💚

Rae + Orchid. Allied. 💚💚💚

Bee + Floracica. Split. 💛💛

Tessa + Ari. Allied.💚💚💚

Ginger + Twisttea. Allied.💚💚💚

Soup + Astoria.💚💚💚

Max + Kazan.💚💚💚

Juno + Bendy. Allied. 💚💚💚

Liz + Manu. Allied. 💚💚💚

So, final wheels to decide wether the remaining pair split or work together.

Glitch and Catboi work together.

Soup and Astoria work together.

Max and Kazan don't. Max abandons Kazan to stay with Orchid and Rae.

[artsninspo]

FORGIVELESS - VI - I'M TOO PROFOUND TO GO BACK AND FORTH, WITH NO AVERAGE DORK 📱

« previous part

➨ rio's library - good girl nbc

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

VI - I'M TOO PROFOUND TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH NO AVERAGE DORK 📱

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Reader

Word Count: ~2.2K

Warning: NSFW and steamy🌶️ elements 😉 .

Summary: This chapter explores Rio's POV. You and Rio grow closer in spite of your distance. You both explore your new feelings and ultimately prepare for the trip to Mexico.

Standing at the register Rio avoids the flirtatious looks from the cashier at the luxury retailer. She was pretty but he’d put his rakish ways on pause potentially indefinitely with what he had going on now. His housekeeper began packing his bags and there was no question that you needed a luggage set to match his. Usually he didn't care. You aren’t the first plus one he’s brought around the family but for the first time he feels differently about the situation. About you.

“Can I get you anything else?” the sales associate asks.

“Nah, that's all” he replies, giving the woman a look of impatience. His nerves were worn thin again. He hadn't been around you in two days and he hadn’t yet made James pay for getting physical with you. If he didnt care what you thought about him, James would already be missing. Only that would make things harder for the both of you. It would be a dumb fucking move on Rio’s part. A jealous lover was almost always the culprit. It’s why he’d been looking into Japan. It was her real name, funny enough. Party girl social climber into the pay for play lifestyle. Unfortunately, as far as Rio could tell there was no one else aside from James involved with her. She was really into him for whatever reason.

Rio would keep his hands clean for now using his network to kill any fun the pieces of shit we're having at your expense. The only thing they would be allowed to eat in the city would be at mass chain restaurants and in their homes. No dine in options would be made available to them. Rio had already made the calls and circulated photos of the two traitors. He didn't want you to have to stomach that. He takes the receipt and his bags out of the mall as he heads to his car putting the items in the trunk. He hoped the gifts wouldn't be seen as too much. Getting in his car he sighs deeply wishing he was heading inside of you to take the edge off. The thought of you in a predicament without him was wearing on him. How strong you were being about everything bothered him even more. He’d been betrayed by family too, and no matter how much he played it cool it always hurt. He never wants you to pretend not for him or anyone else. He doesn't want you to give consideration for a man that disregards you. James needed to be apologetic, screaming, in pain and wishing he never crossed you. Then, he needed to hold the regret forever.

Rio needed there to be blood. To cheat was one thing, to lie about it another, to move your wife away from your family scummy, to get rough with your wife after she finds out. James was in a rush to be acquainted with his casket. Rio wanted to see how the tough guy with muscles would react to being confronted by a real man. His thoughts go to you, he wanted Mexico to be a clean slate, a fresh start, a chance for you to be happy and not worry. Why should you have to keep secrets anyhow? It was a dangerous thing for him to have his nose wide open like it was. He’d learned that long ago. Women didn’t acclimate well to his lifestyle, the late nights, early mornings, temptation and sometimes lack of communication. It usually left them with a few screws loose. That's why he kept his boundaries clear, mostly for the benefit of the women he dealt with. Then where was the reality of Nick, his cousin and polar opposite. He loved the daylight, people, talking, colour and taking what isn't his. If it was clear there was something Rio wanted or enjoyed more than usual Nick would swoop in to steal it away. But this was the perfect opportunity, as the groom Nick wouldn't have any time to intervene with the demands of the wedding..

Sighing Rio shakes the thoughts of self sabotage from his head settling into the driver's seat and starting his truck. Putting the car into gear he pulls out the lot cutting on the radio to drown out his thoughts. Right now, business was the simplest part of his life. Looking at his phone he sees no new messages from you and opts to call you instead.

“Rio?” you pick up on the second ring.

“Mama” he responds, smiling at the vision of you smiling on the phone in his head.

“I was just about to call you, I’m shopping for a dress. You didn't tell me the wedding party colours and I don't want to make you look bad. What's the vibe and dress code” you ask and it's his turn to smile.

“Let me see what you have so far,” Rio asks, requesting a video call.

“Rio, I’m in the fitting room and my moms outside the door” you whisper as your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“So mama doesn't know you're a freak?” he teases, making you laugh. The sound settles him as he focuses on the road. Accepting the video call you put on headphones and step back from the phone now suctioned to the wall via a grippy phone case. Rio watches you materialise in a classic dress with a finger to your lips. You spin giving him a 360° view.

“You’re too sexy to be hiding it all the time” Rio comments and you try to swallow the smile and blush he gives you again. Rio chuckles proud of his effect on you. 

“How's it going sweetie?” your mom calls from the waiting area.

“This one was a no, I'll show you the others if I like them more.”

“Ok, love” your mom responds and you hear her footsteps go back to the sitting area.

“Sexy at someone else's wedding, Rio?” you whisper again.

“It’s for me and I’ll handle anyone who looks too long,” he shrugs, making you shake your head. He has no idea the wonders he’s done for your confidence after the blow that is being cheated on. You move away from the safe option and pick up a bright coloured dress that compliments your skin tone and that’s backless. You shimmy out of the first dress giving Rio a show and he watches like a starving  predator. You feel your body heat when you realise you’d previously removed your bra. Instinct has you cover yourself. But, the fact that it’s Rio watching strikes out your inhibition. He watches without protest of you covering yourself. He watches as you cast a look back at him over your shoulder, removing your arms from your chest and giving him a full view from the mirror in front of you. All the blood rushes straight between his legs as he takes in a deep breath of air happy he’s nearly home.

“You’re beautiful baby girl” he mutters in his usual sexy tone.

“The way you look at me I believe it” you smile putting on the dress. You zip it at the hip and fix the neckline. Looking yourself over in the mirror you check your angles before deciding you need to keep your hair up and off your neck for this style.

“You’d better fucking believe it mama” Rio mutters adjusting himself in his pants. Smiling, you go closer to the camera to kiss at him.

“I miss you Christopher” you confess and Rio’s eyes light in excitement at the use of his given name.

“Call your mom before we get started, I think that's the one” Rio says not wanting the call to descend into full phone sex.

“Yes daddy.” You wink feeling both playful and powerful at the same time.

“Keep playing with me,” Rio warns with a promising smile.

“Ma, I think this is the one” you call opening the door.

Grabbing her purse your mom walks over and from the look in her eyes you know Rio’s right. It’s the perfect dress. “Baby, this is it. It’s gorgeous” she smiles, spinning you around.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby, it's all on me. Colour looks great on your skin. I’m glad you're finally showing off those curves instead of hiding them for the sake of professionalism”  she says with an eye roll. Rio hears the contempt in her voice and smiles to himself.

“Thanks Momma” you smile heading back in.

“I'll be at the register” Mom declares as you head back into the fitting room.

“Can’t wait to take it off you, if you see something else you like, get it for the reception. I got it. I gotta go but you call me if you need anything ya hear?”

“Ok” you nod, unzipping the hip zipper.

“What happened to yes daddy?” He jokes and you laugh a little.

“Yes daddy” you concede.

“Good, take care Mama” he says, ending the call with a deep sigh as he looks at the tent in his jeans. Shaking his head he parks in his condo’s lot and has to use the shopping bags to cover his predicament before he can use the fresh material of you getting dressed for his consideration to take care of himself.

… 

You’ve never been on a vacation with a man other than James. Your first had been your honeymoon, everything since had been less climactic. Standing in the middle of the mall now you feel a familiar flutter in your heart. Rio’s appreciation put him in a league of his own. He was far more present than James who always seemed to be far away with his five to ten year plans. Always looking ahead and not at what was right in front of him, never settling into comfort or appreciation. You hadn't realised how exhausting changing yourself to fit into his standards had been. You’d turned into an accessory somewhere along the way, it's how you added value. Your commitment to his goals, willingness to partner with him and create comfort alongside him. It killed the spark, annihilated the spontaneity and extinguished desire. Yet, he couldn't even honour your commitment or how much sacrifice you’d made to keep him comfortable. You reach for a bright coloured bikini. You explore a few varieties and cuts in the change room before settling on one that accentuates your best features. You have a few that are a little risque and others that are more family friendly.

Your phone rings in your earpods for the fifth time this shopping  trip and you sigh knowing its James and answering the blocked number.

“Hello?”

“Where are you? You haven't been home in two nights.” he probes.

“I don't have to answer you anymore.” You respond, bored already.

He exhales. “We’re still married Y/N.”

“Not for long” you tell him, holding your new items and looking around for where to head next.

“Don’t threaten me with a divorce, you don’t work. You can’t afford to be single and you love me just like I love you. What you saw isn't what you think it was” he says doubling down on his newest lie. You smile to yourself happy for the clarity.

“I don't love you anymore” you tell him honestly. “Keep screwing the bitch, I don't care what you do. I just know it won't be me” your words surprise even you. There’s no need to spare him anymore.

“Y/N you’d better stop threatening me before I do what you're asking. It’ll kill you to see me with someone else. I know how much you love me” he says again.

“You knew it’d kill me and you still did it. I know your dick James and I recognized it on your explicit messages you sent her. You’re still lying, James. I’ll have someone come by and move my things out next week.”

“No, come home! We need to talk” he shouts

“Why? So you can put your hands on me again?” you ask.

“I didn't hit you” he specifies.

“You’re never gonna get the chance” you clarify.

“Baby, it's me we're talking about. I would never hit you. I just didn't want you to leave and for you to get all these crazy ideas about leaving when you're with me, where you belong.” he says.

“Don’t call me baby, I’m not yours. I’ve wasted too much time with your lying, cheating ass already. I won’t for a minute more. Stop calling me” you snap before hanging up completely done with the phone call. 

Reorienting yourself in the mall you look up to see a lingerie store. It’s time for a fresh start. You have a ball thinking of yourself and your tastes before considering Rio. You pick up a few things to spice up the trip. After checking out you find your mom and tell her about your conversation with James over a meal at the food court. She’s had it with James and encourages you to get a new number for peace of mind. You do as you're told before leaving the mall knowing it's only a matter of time before James employs more flying monkeys in his bid to get you back.

The list of people you message is short, your mother, Rio and a few of the girls at your yoga studio. You save Rio’s message until you get home. After a day of vacation prep you feel like a new woman and send him a spicy picture to notify him of your new number along with a message about your excitement for the upcoming trip. You know you should keep things cool but you can't wait to smell his cologne, be in his arms and loved on by him again.

Authour's note: Thanks for letting me take some time away. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Rio being boyfriend material without the title. Let me know what your favourite part was. Also any suspicions 👀 . As always, like, comment and vote for more.

Next stop ✈️ MEXICO

» next part

TAGS:

@meadows5@wnbweasley@becauseimher@ariiaeltheedonn@woahthatshitfat @miniaturehideoutmentality @kokobells @ffenthusiastt @sowhatariyana @1xtral1983 @theegoddessofmelanin

[flower-boi16]

Helluva Boss Season 2: How to Assassinate Your Characters

Option 1: Force them into being out of character for the sake of a forced conflict or "joke"

Seeing Star assasinated Loona by making her far more aggressive compared to how she used to be in the first season, which was done as a way to force a conflict between her and Blitz. Western Energy then goes on to continue Loona's derailment by just straight up turning her into a wild animal with her attacking the doctor. The writers are forcing Loona into being out of character in order to create drama that doesn't feel organic at all.

The same could be said for Moxxie, who Unhappy Campers made out of character by turning him into an attention whore jelouse of Millie, despite him never displaying that trait in the first season and him having no reason to even give a shit about this since he was sent here for a job.

There's nothing indicating that he suffered from neglect from Crimson so there isn't an explanation here. Moxxie especially comes across as a massive hypocrit in his argument with Millie; where he asks why Millie cares so much about what the teenagers think when Moxxie has been jelouse of Millie through this whole episode, yet it is NEVER called out.

This is done as a way of trying to add forced and contrived drama between the two just so the episode can have a conflict, because the writers most likely coulden't find a way to create a conflict that was organic.

Option 2: Make past issues with the characters worse by adding in new ones or just refusing to address them

A big issue with Millie as a character is that she doesn't have much of any real depth beyond being Moxxie's wife. The show tried to add depth to her in Unhappy Campers but all that did was create a new issue where they constantly introduce new stuff for Millie as a character out of nowhere in a failed attempt to give her depth.

Moxxie meanwhile suffered through a issue in Season 1 where he went through the same arc twice in the same season, but hey that was only two times so it's nothing to sneeze at...except that Season 2 not only has Moxxie repeat that arc again, it slaps daddy issues onto him in a poor attempt to give him further depth which not only feels tacked onto him but also just creates more issues with Moxxie as a character due to him now having truama that never gets explored.

Season 2 continues the issues with the first season but makes them worse as well as adding in new ones, which is the exact opposite of what a second season should do.

Option 3: Destory and remove everything that made the characters interesting and replace it with something completely unreconizable compared to how they previously were.

Stolas in Season 1 was arguably the most interesting character in the entire show, there was a lot you could analyze from him and he had the most potiential out of any other character in the show for a compelling arc where he grows as a person...

...that Season 2 completely destoryed in favor of turning Stolas into an UwU soft boy who the narrative frequently coddles and goes through little actual character growth...at all. His bad actions are downplayed by the narrative and the people who get mad at him for those actions are all demonized by the narrative, treated as if they don't have a reason to hate him even though they do.

Season 1 Stolas was a flawed person that realized his mistakes and chose to become better, Season 2 Stolas is an UwU soft boy that just wanted to be loved. These do not feel like the same character.

Season 2 completely assassinates the characters and removes everything that made them good in the first place with the only exception being Blitzo, as although Season 2's handling of him has issues he still isn't nearly as ruined as the other characters.

[justruse]

Blood touched your lips.

One moment you were walking home, and the next you were waking up in a hospital room with a searing pain in your neck and an insatiable hunger lingering in your belly. The events of the previous night were a blurry and chaotic mess of fear, panic, and blood.

Your blood...

ONCE BITTEN is a dark romance interactive fiction game set in a vampire-infested 1990s New York City. Navigate the city as you try to regain your footing and find your place as a recently-turned vampire. Being a vampire isn't as glamorous as the stories make it out to be, especially when you have a group of Hunters that want you dead.

Content Warnings: suggestive themes, violence, gore, blood, body horror, drug use, death, animal cruelty, homophobia, and transphobia

* Note: Content warnings, with the option to disable them, will appear before each chapter.

DEMO ✦ PINTEREST ✦ SPOTIFY

Play as a customizable protagonist, with the ability to choose your name (including nicknames), gender, pronouns, and appearance.

Befriend a cast of characters and pursue one of five romance options.

Explore New York City and its vampiric nightlife as a newly-turned vampire. Experience what it truly means to be a creature of the night.

Adopt a dog, or don’t. Be warned, it will come back to bite you.

A focus on choices, rather than stats, that will alter your relationships with the cast as well as the narrative moving forward. Will you choose to embrace your new existence?

Dr. Joseph Levi (he/him)

A seemingly quiet, albeit quite sarcastic, professor at first glance, Dr. Joseph Levi is more than what meets the eye. In reality, he is a type of vampire hunter known as a Keeper—and he also happens to save your life and doom it too.

Vanya Kreisky (she/her)

Beautiful, cunning, and deceptive, Miss Vanya Kreisky is the queen of the Scarlet Palace, a historic hotel and casino nestled in the heart of Manhattan. She much older, and more powerful, than she first lets on, and seems to have an odd interest in you.

Rana Ayari (she/her)

Rana Ayari is the owner of Lilith's Lounge, a small bar near West Village. She's a welcoming face to strangers with an easy-going attitude. Unless you're stirring up trouble, you'll be welcome at Lilith's.

Addison Reyes (he/him | she/her)

Only turned about fifteen years ago, Addison is probably the youngest vampire you'll meet, and because of that, they have a sense of optimism and adventure many older vampires lack. They like to have fun and they'll share it with you—well, whenever they're not stuck working a shift at Lilith's, of course.

Dr. Michael "Ellie" Elliot (he/they)

Dr. Michael Elliot is a doctor working at the hospital you wake up in after being turned. They're quite zany, in a way you can't quite place, and it's obvious they've seen some things in their centuries long existence that they quite haven't processed yet.

[stainedglassthreads]

I feel like the four leads of Deltarune--Kris, Susie, Ralsei, and Noelle-are just. Somehow two different levels of queer-coded.

(Edit: Just to be clear: not saying any of this to disparage or insult shippers of Kralsei, Suselle, or Kriselle, I've just seen a lot of cool analysis about tropes, romance, and lack of choice in Deltarune and wanted to chime in with some of my own thoughts. If you ship any of those ships in Deltarune--fantastic! May you find a lot of content precisely to your taste.)

Like. On the one hand, if you're looking at tropes, they are very neatly set up into two romantic partnerships. Noelle is very blatantly interested in Susie, and Ralsei's feelings for Kris are often portrayed similarly. On a surface level, both pairings appear very clear. Noelle is a girl in love with another girl, while Ralsei is a very effeminate boy in love with a teen who doesn't appear to use pronouns. And a big deal isn't made of either pairing, there's nothing really in the way of Suselle or Kralsei on a societal level we've encountered so far. At least in terms of gender and sexuality. But if you look a little closer, it's kind of...'these are a very straight idea of queer ships', y'know?

Noelle and Susie are both girls, but one is very effeminately coded, anxious, uses magic, and is more traditionally cute, while they other is crass, crude, intimidating, and physically strong. Ralsei and Kris are gender-noncomforming, but Ralsei is a sweet pacifistic healer who bakes cakes while Kris uses a sword, and keeps being mistaken for a boy by much of Youtube and Reddit. The active one and the passive one, the fighter and the mage, the one with cute hobbies and the one who eats moss, the one in pants and the one in a dress.

And here, I start thinking of some posts I've seen analyzing how, in Deltarune, romance is used to explore how Kris doesn't really get choices. Kris has been cast as the leader and knight, and Ralsei has been cast as the healer and Princess, even if he is a boy. The leader often ends up with the healer. The knight often gets the princess as a happy ending. But Kris doesn't seem to like this! Their reactions to Ralsei are constantly lukewarm at best, and that's not getting into how Ralsei seems to be in love with his idea of Kris, while being very. Asriel-coded, who the game describes often as Kris' brother, in sharp contrast to how ambiguous Chara and Frisk's relationships with the Dreemurrs were.

If we and Kris reject Ralsei as a love interest, we can a different romantic partner in Noelle...but this choice has a bodycount, traumatizes Noelle, doesn't seem to leave Kris any happier, and it's still a kind of straight-coded ship. Now it's the knight being paired up with the apocalypse maiden, for the doomed codepedent toxic tragedy lovers out there. But it kinda makes sense too, right? If Kralsei is the expected RPG romance, then Kriselle would be the expected romance if there were no Dark World and Ralsei weren't an option. They're childhood friends and neighbors in a small town, their families used to be very close, Rudy is still very fond of Kris. They're even extremely angel/devil coded.

But the most interesting part is. It's implied that there IS someone that Kris is very interested in, either platonically or romantically. It's Susie. Kris never seems frightened by Susie when they're bullied by her, and rejects Noelle's offers to switch seats. They seek comfort from Susie rather than Ralsei after the Spamton fight, they call her their friend when Toriel calls, they share moss with her, they refuse to think about her during Snowgrave when Ralsei prompts them, they make it clear that out of all the people they COULD go to the Carnival with, Susie is the one they'd ACTUALLY want to choose.

And this is the part that drives me crazy. Because while Kris is so tightly controlled by genre and narrative, and those things would usually push them towards Ralsei or Noelle, and Ralsei keeps encouraging Kris to stick to the narrative. Susie is the one who refuses to be bound to the narrative. Susie is the character of Deltarune who is most unapologetically herself--and isn't that a very queer thing, refusing to be anyone but yourself despite everything? She says no thanks to the prophecy, until she comes around to it on her own terms! She makes herself and Ralsei learn to take their own actions, and drags Ralsei off to have fun with him instead of letting Kris choose who to with! She doesn't stay in her box of the damage-dealing fighter, she insists on learning Healing magic, even if she's not particularly skilled at it at first! Even Ralsei is forced to admit that it's wonderful that Susie is Susie, and not anyone else!

I think Kris likes Susie a lot. And part of it may be admiration. That while Kris is controlled by the player and the narrative and the prophecy and humanity and divorce and a dozen things outside their control, Susie refuses to ever be bound by anything. And Kris and Susie together happen to be the two more masculinely-coded party members, the two melee fighters, the two troublemakers. It honestly makes me wonder a little if Susie and Kris might be able to make their own ending beyond the bounds of gender expectations and romance expectations together? It would be cool. And I think it would make Kris very happy to break free like that.

[scapegoated-if]

out of curiosity why isn't leon or shiloh romanceable? i find both of them to be very interesting! im just curious what ur process is for deciding who is or isn't a romantic option. this is totally off topic from this ask but will the ro's show jealously between each other is mc is romancing multiple ppl?

I love this question! My answer is quite loaded, so I'll just bullet point to refrain from wasting your time lol:

The ROs have specific plot lines that integrate the romance, rather than romancing for the sake of romance. I wanted the romances to not feel frivolous, but instead intentional and compelling.

I knew I wanted to make one of the band members a RO, and decided upon Vince specifically for my best friend. She was my first (and my only) beta tester for the Prologue, so in anticipation of that, I wrote her a RO that falls into her book boyfriend type. Soppy I know...

Since feminism is a key aspect of what I'm exploring with Scapegoated, I want to explore male-female platonic relationships and the value in them; they can be intimate and loving without veering into romance etcetera.

Also, it's easier to be amendable to lesbian-MC readers that way (not something I did with intention, but I am putting together as I'm writing this)

Jealousy is my favourite aspect of romance plots, so definitely!

I think that's everything! This is the quickest I've got back to an anon in ages whew