#and the expectations put on them
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hiiii… i wanted to ask more about this particular val scene where mc and her talk about that portrait and mc is a bit stuck on the word husband and wants val to know theyre not a man. can i ask what inspired that type of convo? i wanted to know if it’s something you’ll touch up on again? is this underlying feelings mc had before their entombment… worried that val sees them as a man just because mc is masc? cause i know that’s kind of broader discussion in the lesbian community iirc….. was that why you wanted to incorporate it? this ask has so many questions LOL but basically i wanted to say i was intrigued and it did made me think more on those type of dynamics (thinking back to those resources you rb’d a while ago that go more into depth about diff things in the lesbian community)
oh boy get ready for another long-winded answer from me!
a lot of the feelings mc has about their gender are inspired by Leslie Feinberg's work (mainly Stone Butch Blues)
Feinberg was someone who lived & passed as a man for years of hir life, and wrote a lot about the complexities of hir gender and what it was like being a "gender outlaw."
there was actually a scene in particular from sbb that kinda put the kernel of an idea in my mind that led to this narrative of the mc feeling overshadowed by Standard and anxious about being perceived as a man. it's towards the end of the book when Jess (sbb's protagonist) meets Ruth (a trans woman that Jess falls in love with)
Jess offers to help Ruth carry groceries up to her apartment, and Ruth takes this the wrong way & is offended, partly because she thinks Jess is a man.
One Saturday afternoon I found her clutching two huge bags of groceries and fumbling with the downstairs front-door lock. I pulled out my key.
“Here, let me.” She didn’t say thank you. She hurried ahead of me on the stairs.
“Can I help you carry those?” I offered.
“Do I look weak to you?” she asked.
I stopped on the stairs. “No. Where I come from it’s just a sign of respect, that’s all.”
She continued up the stairs. “Well, where I come from,” she called out, “men don’t reward women for pretending to be helpless.” Once I heard her apartment door close I kicked the stair in anger and frustration.
later, after they get to know each other better, they have this interaction:
I laughed and picked at my salad. “Do you know if I’m a man or a woman?”
“No,” Ruth said. “That’s why I know so much about you.”
I sighed. “Did you think I was a man when you first met me?" She nodded. "Yes. At first I thought you were a straight man. Then I thought you were gay. It’s been a shock for me to realize that even I make assumptions about sex and gender that aren’t true. I thought I was liberated from all of that.”
I smiled. “I didn’t want you to think I was a man. I wanted you to see how much more complicated I am. I wanted you to like what you saw.”
i think the inspiration here is quite obvious, hahaha. i figure anyone that's read sbb can sense the similar through-line here in my work. though the conversation between mc and Valentina has a much different tone.
there's another scene later as well after something happens to Jess and she has to have her jaw wired shut. she's working at a new job and is unable to speak, and she's also passing as a man at this job. she overhears some of her female coworkers talking about her and they refer to her as a "creep" and speculate that she's always watching one of them. Jess overhears all of this and then walks out of the job, goes home and pulls the wires out of her mouth herself:
After I was sure I’d gotten the last piece of wire out of my gums, I rinsed my mouth with whiskey and then drank the rest of it so I could sleep without remembering how Marija’s words had stripped me of my humanity.
butches & gnc women still face this kind of dehumanization; compared or likened to men in a derogatory way, accused of being "heteropatriarchal," the predatory stereotype of the fat ugly lesbian, and on the other side they're also hypersexualized, especially online and in queer spaces. butchphobia is a specific kind of misogyny that hits from all sides, even from the people that are supposed to be a part of your community. and this attitude especially effects trans women and women of color, who are already experiencing all of these things due to transmisogyny and racism.
i also really wanted to use this to touch on the kind of gender essentialism that we see in a lot of these cis feminist discussions - to these women at this job, Jess had committed no real crime other than being quiet and being the “wrong” kind of man. something about this scene has always stuck with me and really bothered me, but it's hard to put into words; on one hand i can admit i have probably been one of those women who made some kind of similar remark about a man i barely knew, but i've also been someone on the receiving end, too, because of the way i look. the mc in blood choke is put into this box, but they can't fit in, as someone who has been on both sides and doesn't really understand where they belong because of it; how can she stand beside Valentina or Hana or Clear when they might see her as a perpetrator, someone who can't be trusted? how does this mindset harm both the women and the men of the council and everyone in between? how can we break this cycle?
one of the films i mentioned recently when talking about the character designs was The Same Difference, which is specifically about the Black lesbian community and the discrimination within that community based upon gender roles (though this is not something limited to just the Black lesbian community)
a lot of the women in that doc talk about the boxes they're put in as AG or stud lesbians - they can't have their hair long, they can't wear makeup, they can't do this or that, they have to be aggressive and hard or else they're not real studs. they discuss stud on stud (or butch4butch) and how other lesbians look down on those types of lesbians, as well as the disdain for bisexual women for "betraying" the community. it explores the way misogyny and the patriarchy still oppress these women and forces them into this restrictive gender role despite their refusal to adhere to the other role originally assigned to them, and the way racism specifically intersects and exacerbates it for Black lesbians. there's a stud that's an exotic dancer and wears a weave, and a lot of other studs have a problem with this because a weave is "a female thing." another section follows a pregnant stud, and how the community shuns her for that, because she "dresses like a man and acts like a man" so why is she getting pregnant when she should be "the man"?
mc doesn't remember how they felt before entombment, but waking up they feel this need to prove themselves - both in that they are hard and aggressive like a butch should be, but also in that they want to be this person for Valentina or Clear or Hana (or all of them) that is safe and comforting. but they aren't sure how to do that when the world perceives them as this one specific thing - as a husband, as Standard, as a man, specifically this man who hurt Valentina.
of course we've already seen this to not be true of the companions with the last chapter as the mc learns more and spends more time with everyone. but this is kind of the foundation of where this whole idea came from. it started with my novel & i chose vampires for that story & this one because there is a long history of lesbian vampirism (and also because it's sexy) but there's this "curse" that both Hana & Valerie talk about in their respective stories, the first one being the racism she's had to face, the transphobia, along with this alienation and perception of lesbians as predatory and conniving and aggressive, as vampires, which i just think really lends itself to expanding upon these issues lesbians & trans women face both in general and within the community.
anyways if you want to read more i suggest Stone Butch Blues, which you can get for free on Leslie Feinberg's website, as well as S/he, by Minnie Bruce Pratt, available on the internet archive, Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote & Rae Spoon also on the internet archive, and you can rent The Same Difference for $10 on vimeo.
#im gonna be real idk if this makes sense to anyone but me. lmfao#but basically leslie feinberg is a huge inspiration for me#and just exploring the way homophobia and transphobia and misogyny all intersect when someone is gnc#and the expectations put on them#i think about butch al a lot and the things she says to jess and the way that section of the book plays out#and then in the end when the cops raid the bar#al and jess are fags except for what the cops did to al and the way they dehumanize her#how the mc is considered a man in certain instances - when the girls throw a brick at her or when the woman yells at her in the bathroom#or when atlas shakes hands with her and calls her their man#but other times she's a 'proper lady' with V or when that man gives her and Hana a dirty look in the elevator#or when cassius says 'ladies first'#mc is always one or the other whatever is convenient and degrades her the most in the moment#you know?#i dont know. im just saying stuff#basically i want to explore these gendered expectations & stereotypes and how they harm someone vulnerable like mc#how they feel alienated even from V & hana & clear for not being butch enough#but also for being butch and trans in the first place and feeling like an infiltrator#ask#anonymous
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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Showing off the babies
(I watched Ultraman Rising! It was good!)
Bonus:
From this
#godzilla#ultraman#godzilla x kong: the new empire#ultraman rising#godzilla minus one#netflix#kenji sato#emi ultraman#kong#suko#the bebes!#now my collection is complete#Finally#I have them all#the dads/big bro collection#also I watched Ultraman Rising#it was better than I expected!#loved the family bond and the story#Emi is a baby#she's a good baby#now what if I put her with Minus One....#hhhhhmmmmm#haha joking!#....#unless?#do not repost#my art
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Schrödinger's cat, simultaneously the saint of life and death, until you pray to it. and then it settles as one.
Tama, saint of railways, and of prosperity
Masha, saint of warmth in a cold night
these enamel pins are up for pre-order at greerstothers.shop
#I wanted to wait for the dog pins to arrive before putting this up#but they’re taking too long 😭 I’m still expecting them to come late February
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might as well flirt with the other guy across the room if you're about to die in a few hours
#chainshipping#saw#adam stanheight#lawrence gordon#saw fanart#comics#my art#it's getting serious bc im seeing them in memes now#so expect more unserious art of these two (hopefully)#do you realize the hand you put in the toilet was your smoking hand AND the hand you used to pick your ear?
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Selina's New Kittens
Once again. A new DPxDC idea/prompt.
(Deaged! Danny, Dan, Ellie, and Jazz!)
Enjoy my random ideas.
Look.
Selina....
Selina wasn't expecting this when she decided to have some fun and do what she does best.
She just meant to sweet talk her way into Master's gala/party. Flirt and get info, maybe some blackmail. Steal away the rare cat themed artifact he had recently gotten (and also steal away his actual cat, such a lovely little diva it is too). then she was going to disappear into the night like always.
So...
Selina casted her eyes into the mirror of her car and could see the tiny children she had rescued from Master's hidden basement lab. All but one was asleep, the oldest out of them, although she seemed to be losing that fight from the way her head was falling forward, eyes closing but would jerk herself back awake when she realized she was falling asleep.
Curled up as hard and as much as they could towards the little redhead was three dark haired children, Selina mused that they'd fit right in with Bruce and his little bats/birds.
Two were near identical boys, though one seemed to be much paler than the other and if she remembered right one had red eyes and the other had blue, and the last one of the sleeping kids was a tiny toddler, a girl she heard was named 'Ellie' from the others.
Selina took note that the red head, Jazz, had finally fallen asleep a few minutes later. With a deep breath as she drove further and further away from that... that insane Fruitloop (she overheard the two boys call him that as they ran to her car) Master's place, she blindly reached for her phone and pressed a single digit on the screen, knowing it will connect to her car and call up the only person she can trust to help her with this.
"Selina." came the gravely voice after a single ring, sounds like she caught him on patrol but he seemed to be in a spot where he was okay to say her actual name over coms or she caught him before his night shift started.
"Hello Darling, I need your help with some kittens I found and to help me... Put away their terrible old owner."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#deaged danny#deaged dan#deaged danielle#deaged jazz#Selina found the deaged Fentons in Vlad's lab basement#she was there to just steal some cat artifact her intel told her he had#she wasn't expecting the children. nor to see them with collars that apparently kept them 'in check' if they used their powers#thankfully Vlad was focused on keeping their ghost powers under his control. He was too blinded to think of stopping mundane ways to escape#aka Selina lockpicking the collars and getting the kids out of the basement without powers/abilities#PERSONAL Headcanon for this AU. Good Fenton parents that took in both Dan and Ellie after good reveal. Still bad Vlad.#Vlad got MEGA jealous at the 'perfect family' and set up something that destroyed the Fenton portal. Got Jack and Maddie killed.#and got the kids deaged. AND the explosion sent them to the DCverse.#Vlad decided to begin anew in the DCverse. started using his powers to gain money again and put collars on the kids to keep them 'in check'#He's going to be in MEGA trouble when Selina brings attention to him.#Cause Bruce isn't going to happy.
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love island i guess
#my art#fanart#tango tek#tangotek#skizzleman#secret life#LOOK#YOU CANNOT GIVE ME LOVE ISLAND#AND NOT EXPECT ME TO PUT THEM IN SUMMER FIT
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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
#adhd#actually adhd#i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment.#1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj#i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me.#edit: pages 80-85#edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction#keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it#if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to#expand someone’s access to a paper like this
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talking to vote blue no matter who americans as a latin american
#nar.txt#don't get me wrong I don't expect anything from them as ultimately they are gleeful agents of our oppression#but dear lord do I wish they would own up to it instead of putting up the widdle baby who cant do anything act
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everyone makes fun of soap when they find out how many hair and skin products he keeps on hand. the cabinet in his bathroom is filled to bursting and he always keeps travel sized bottles on him on missions
when soldiers outside the 141 find out, they call him precious and self-obsessed, a vain pretty boy too preoccupied with his reflection to focus on the enemy. no wonder how he got his callsign. price has given up telling him to leave them on base and just teaches him to individually wrap them so they don’t rattle against each other and give himself away
what they don’t know is that each product contains an ingredient that when mixed with any number of the others, creates potent chemical bombs. he was caught unarmed once, he won’t let it happen again
#ghost picks it up when he watches him meticulously read the ingredients lists on the bottles when he goes shopping with him once#he knows enough about products to know that when you find one that works you keep using it#so hes confused when he sees soap put back a moisturiser hes certain hes seen in his little bag#he waits for him to leave the aisle and checks the bottle#which is when he sees the new and improved formula sticker on the back#he memorises the ingredients and when he checks the bottle in soaps room sure enough theres an ingredient missing#thats when he puts it together#it seems his little intro into guerrilla warfare had sparked some ideas in his sergeant#and hes so damn proud it takes him off guard for a second#he hadnt expected him to keep up with it not when hed rarely need the knowledge#but he is and hes doing it all on his own using his own expertise and forethought#the pride has to make room for a difference kind of warmth at the sheer competency on display in front of him#the next day he drops a new product with the missing ingredient on soaps head#the soldiers around them are shocked that hed indulge in soaps prissiness#hes the only that that sees the feral glint in soaps eye as he thanks him and starts going on about the benefits of looking after your skin#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghost x soap#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost mw2#cod ghost#cod soap#soap mw2#soap mactavish#cod mwii#call of duty#we’re a team. ghost team
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I came here for the silly haha doodles, but I've stayed for the absolutely blazing commentary in the tags. Your analysis of this story is so so so good! Thanks for all the work and thought you put into this!
I am just a silly little comics blog. I am not hiding anything in the tags, no way. Never.
#ask#digital art#I truly am grateful for the amount of people that not only read my journal-essay-thoughts on my comics#but also take the time to respond and/or write their own thoughts on the themes and scenes.#I really love taking apart stories and seeing how the threads weave together. Like flipping over an embroidered tapestry!#Some people thinks it ruins the illusion of what a story is - to me it *elevates* the experience to see the seams.#It's like knowing how they did the practical effects and stunts in a movie. It give you a deeper appreciation for the work that went into i#Thank you for acknowledging the work I put into every part of this project!#When I started drawing I....well...wasn't really the strongest with my visuals.#Humorously recapping scenes played off of my strengths (silly billying) and also just made the project *fun*.#But right from the start I also wanted to take my time and marinate on the themes and journal my thoughts.#I never really expected people to read them!#What might seem like a quick comic takes me several hours and I often spend a good bit of time with my tag essays too.#I owe so much to everyone who's dropped by to cheer me on and make this blog into part of the community.#to those who just lurk or drop by once in a blue moon - I thank you as well for coming along for the journey.#So even though it adds extra time; these little essays are a treat for you B*)
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so, um, er, Laios
#dungeon meshi I believe might be repairing my soul#you can’t put a babygirl in front of me & expect me to not draw them without their shirt#it’s who I am#daydreams ☼#dreams of laios ☁︎#laios touden#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi fanart#laios fanart
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My heart wished to stay here, because it gave me a reason to live ♡
Fukuzawa + The Founding Trio
#bungou stray dogs#bsd kunikida#bsd yosano#bsd ranpo#bsd fukuzawa#bsd kunikida doppo#bsd yosano akiko#bsd ranpo edogawa#bsd fukuzawa yukichi#og ada trio my beloved#I'm insane about them#the matching mayoi cards has me ugly sobbing#and that family picture lives rent free in my head#manifesting next ln about them#PLS ASAGIRI YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THESE LITTLE CRUMBS AND EXPECT ME TO MOVE ON#I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABIUT THEM I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM ANYMORE#THEY WOULD HAVE THE MOST FUN DYNAMICS EVER I KNOW IT#also i made this post cuz I'm mad that people ignore kuni#and also put dazai in his place#like sure dazai definitely gets along with them#but both yosano and ranpo have a soft spot for kuni#and kuni tries to be subtle about it but he respects them sm#like how kuni literally lets ranpo do whatever he likes lol#and yosano is easily able to convince kuni#and don't even get me started on the trust fukuzawa has over kunikida#i can go on talking about them lmaooo#bsd edit#my edit
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#i did not expect to see jan#Jan Bellows#charles putting the knives in the dishwasher#dead#cackling#peak comedy#i still love them idc#charles haden savage#charles x jan#jan x charles#amy ryan#steve martin#only murders in the building#omitb#omtibedit#omitbedits#4x2
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Yuu: *squishes Malleus’ cheeks*
Malleus: *amused and lets it happen* Is there something on my face?
Yuu: ….. *pokes his cheek and waits for it to return to normal*
Malleus: *concerned* Child Of Man?
Yuu: ?!
Malleus: ??
Yuu: *whispers in awe* Mailable Malleus
Lilia: PFFFT -
Sebek: *offended screeching from across campus*
(In which Yuu makes Dad jokes on routine, and is determined to create a collection of bad puns regarding their companions)
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst imagines#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#i thought of this while working on the otome#decided against putting it in as it did not fit malleus’ route but still think him being squishy like playdough is funny#yknow because i doubt anyone has ever had the balls to poke him#everyone’s always making scenarios about his horns#aint just his horns folks. you ever squish someone’s cheeks to get them to stop talking#yuu’d do it expecting a stiff maybe gaunt feel bc he’s a pretry boy but then gets the baby cheeks#malleus has chipmunk cheeks 2024 they’re just hidden by his sharp jaw and cheekbones
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