#and the euron of it all????

[from-ib-to-asshai]

i genuinely need someone to make an au of what would happen if balon would have SOMEHOW won the wotfk

[mother-rhoyne]

[mechanicalchickens]

Normally, kinslayers are limited to at most a couple of fratricides, filicides, and matricide/fratricide before having to move on to lame shit like cousin killing. Overcome this limitation with one weird trick...

[death-of-cats]

what if while theon was hostage, maybe before, euron came up and was like "hey balon it;s me your creepy ass wizard brother,. yeah i can see the future, look, the northmen are going to make that kid their bitch. he's gonna serve them like a dog. he's not going to be a man when they're done with him" and balon just believed him and it wouldn't even be a lie.

[duchess-of-oldtown]

One thing that always gets me, is Quellon Greyjoy. You got this ✨tall✨ scary dude who could have been a big fucking threat but decides to be a reformer. He tries to fix the reputation of the Iron Islands and the Greyjoys. And he dies in the most Ironborn way, in battle at sea, probably thinking at least "I did something to be proud of and the Islands are on the way to a better relationship with Westeros". But then his kids are literally an eldritch horror, a dumb thot, a religious fanatic and one short king and they just undo all of his work in like five mins. You cannot convince me that Quellon was not looking up from the depths of the Drowned God's watery halls like

[undeniablespice]

drowned god the weak little beast you put on this earth to write fanfiction and like greyjoys has been neglecting homework in order to reread the affc ironborn chapters and have way too many opinions about the soggiest man in the world. i have Had Some Thoughts on aeron, theon, and names

it really is striking to me just how little people refer to aeron by his name. not just in conversation, but in the narrative itself, with the most notable example of this being aeron himself in his pov chapters constantly thinking of himself not as aeron but as damphair or just The Priest. he refers to himself as damphair or The Priest instead of aeron like twenty times throughout the prophet, to the point where it's used almost as frequently as his actual name. in the drowned man it's only like eight times (which i think is mostly because the vast majority of this chapter is given over to the kingsmoot, where aeron is mostly a spectator and the narrative focus is on the events taking place rather than his reaction to them). in the forsaken, it's ten times, though while aeron is actively imprisoned he mostly thinks of himself as aeron, with damphair being used four times in flashbacks to events that took place in the past, once during a conversation with euron while aeron is defying him, and then three times after he is freed and he can see the sea again

the consistency and frequency of aeron in his own mind thinking of himself as something other than his name reads to me almost like a foil to theon and reek. the identity of the damphair allows aeron to dissociate himself from the burden of his past weaknesses and sins: his pre-drowning frivolity and alcoholism and euron's sexual abuse. for aeron, being damphair is as empowering as being reek is degrading for theon. he is constantly affirming to himself that he is a loyal servant of the drowned god and that this makes him strong. it gives him status and purpose he never had as aeron the boy, who was the youngest and weakest of his brothers. aeron-the-priest cannot be frightened by any mortal man any more than he can be frightened by the dark or by memories. kill the boy to become the man -> drown the boy to become the damphair

(although, of course, when aeron tells himself all this about how god chose him and it makes him strong and special and immune to fear, he is deluding himself. the damphair is haunted incessantly by his brothers. aeron has the tendency to reconcile his lasting fear of euron with his special god-given immunity to such mortal flaws as feeling fear by believing that euron is ungodly/an avatar of the storm god/literally the devil, and therefore not really a mortal man in the same way that balon and victarion are

which is a really interesting parallel to how euron must see himself, what with the whole apotheosis god-king thing he's got going on by twow. in a way, euron is aeron's real god. it is euron's abuse that first connected aeron with faith, and it is faith that aeron uses to cope with and overcome the lasting psychological scars of that abuse and urri's death. aeron doesn't think of euron as a mere flesh and blood human being anymore. he's mythologized the crow's eye in his own mind: euron is not just his abuser, he's a boogeyman, a devil, quite literally the thing that goes bump in the night. and euron knows this, and delights in knowing it and in taking every chance he can to tear down aeron's faith and replace the drowned god with himself as the backbone of aeron's life. which he does not actually succeed in doing, as of the forsaken! aeron keeps his faith like theon keeps his name. it cannot be taken from them)

reek, meanwhile, is not an identity that theon chooses to assume to cope with his trauma. it is forced upon him in the middle of the trauma and he has no choice but to accept it for his own self-preservation. ramsay devastates theon physically: flaying him, starving him, beating him, removing his fingers and toes and teeth and genitals. imprisonment and violence are the tools he uses to take away theon's physical strength to resist him, but reek is how he gets to all the parts of theon that can't be bruised or cut. it's the psychological equivalent of a flaying knife. reek is the weapon he uses to attack theon's identity and sense of self and personhood. though it's important to me to note that those were things theon was already struggling with well before ramsay came on the scene, and that he has an absolutely unbelievably strong will that allows him to retain a degree of his original personality under ramsay and regain his own name later in adwd even after enduring all the torture and abuse. he is a greyjoy of pyke. his name is theon, and if he dies, he will die as theon, not as reek. when he leans into being reek, it is as a means of self-preservation and protection from harm. he basically says as much to jeyne when he tells her to be arya: he believes that serving ramsay and capitulating to his whim is the best way to stay safe. you have to know your name.

ultimately, theon is as relieved to be rid of the name reek as aeron is relieved to see the ocean again at the end of the forsaken. theon's name is a source of pride to him, something that he clings to after he has lost everything else, something that will always be his even after all that has been taken away from him. aeron's name is a source of shame, something that he is reduced to when he feels weak, something that he reverts to when he is powerless at the mercy of his abuser

[lives4lovesworld]

Daenerys could literally be the devil reincarnated and it is still infeasible for her to be the one to torch King's Landing;

A desperate Cersei (who is essentially a female!Aerys), a violent hord of religious zealots, two (rightfully) blood-thirsty sand snakes, the tyrells and lannisters about to be at each other's throats, shady Qyburn doing gods know what, are all IN King's Landing. A cocky would-be claimant is marching with deadly-infected, nothing-to-lose, bell-triggered Jon who-regrets-burning-a-city Connington TOWARDS it, and murderous crazy newly crowned Euron Greyjoy lusts for the Iron Throne.

Yet according to the ✨smart book experts✨all these plots will apparently freeze and these murderous hotheads will patiently wait for Daenerys to speed run through all of her essosi plots; travel to Vaes Dothrak, gather all the khalassars, travel to Meereen by horse pace, fight the war against the slavers, deal with Victarion, the Iron fleet and the Dragonbinder, deal with Viserion and Rhaegal being loose, Quentyn's death and his remaining companions, Yunkai and its allies, burn the dead from the pale mare and the war, divide fiends from foes, which the later includes her husband and the Green Grace (tho both could be dead by the time Daenerys returns) meet Red Priest Moqorro and Maester Marwyn, hear about Azor Ahai and the Others, meet Tyrion Lannister, face Jorah Mormont again, hear from Illyiro and Varys's many schemes, mend the wounds of her people, get a large enough fleet to carry her host somewhere and cross half of the world (a journey for which Tyrion and Quentyn needed an enitre book) with a bus stop at Volantis, where she will likely meet Benerro and The Widow At The Waterfront and council the slave revolt, etc... so she is The One™ to barbecue King's Landing since *checks note*... itS sO SUbvErsIve, but also; iTs bEen bUilT uP to ThAT sInCe Aegon’s Conquest. 🤡

[addamvelaryon]

DEAD THINGS IN THE WOODS. DEAD THINGS IN THE WATER.

I was once again thinking about how Patchface has a tendency to say some rather odd things, and if you view the phrase "under the sea" as an indication of death/afterlife, the things he says take on a more sinister connotation:

Patchface rang his bells. “It is always summer under the sea,” he intoned. “The merwives wear nennymoans in their hair and weave gowns of silver seaweed. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

— A Clash of Kings, Prologue

Patchface was capering about as the maester made his slow way around the table to Davos Seaworth. “Here we eat fish,” the fool declared happily, waving a cod about like a scepter. “Under the sea, the fish eat us. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

— A Clash of Kings, Prologue

“Under the sea the old fish eat the young fish,” the fool muttered at Davos. He bobbed his head, and his bells clanged and chimed and sang. “I know, I know, oh oh oh.”

— A Storm of Swords, Davos V

They found Her Grace sewing by the fire, whilst her fool danced about to music only he could hear, the cowbells on his antlers clanging. “The crow, the crow,” Patchface cried when he saw Jon. “Under the sea the crows are white as snow, I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

— A Dance With Dragons, Jon XI

Patchface jumped up. “I will lead it!” His bells rang merrily. “We will march into the sea and out again. Under the waves we will ride seahorses, and mermaids will blow seashells to announce our coming, oh, oh, oh.”

— A Dance With Dragons, Jon XIII

“Under the sea, men marry fishes.” Patchface did a little dance step, jingling his bells. “They do, they do, they do.”

— A Dance With Dragons, Jon XIII

Patchface drowned but survived under mysterious circumstances:

The boy washed up on the third day. Maester Cressen had come down with the rest, to help put names to the dead. When they found the fool he was naked, his skin white and wrinkled and powdered with wet sand. Cressen had thought him another corpse, but when Jommy grabbed his ankles to drag him off to the burial wagon, the boy coughed water and sat up. To his dying day, Jommy had sworn that Patchface’s flesh was clammy cold.

No one ever explained those two days the fool had been lost in the sea. The fisherfolk liked to say a mermaid had taught him to breathe water in return for his seed.

— A Clash of Kings, Prologue

The previous passage almost seems to echo the following:

He had been the thirteenth man to lead the Night’s Watch, she said; a warrior who knew no fear. “And that was the fault in him,” she would add, “for all men must know fear.” A woman was his downfall; a woman glimpsed from atop the Wall, with skin as white as the moon and eyes like blue stars. Fearing nothing, he chased her and caught her and loved her, though her skin was cold as ice, and when he gave his seed to her he gave his soul as well.

— A Storm of Swords, Bran IV

That's not the only connection that exists between the merlings and the white walkers:

Mormont was deaf to the edge in his voice. “The fisherfolk near Eastwatch have glimpsed white walkers on the shore.”

This time Tyrion could not hold his tongue. “The fisherfolk of Lannisport often glimpse merlings.”

— A Game of Thrones, Tyrion III

Which of course reminds me of Cotter Pyke's ominous letter to Jon Snow:

At Hardhome, with six ships. Wild seas. Blackbird lost with all hands, two Lyseni ships driven aground on Skane, Talon taking water. Very bad here. Wildlings eating their own dead. Dead things in the woods. Braavosi captains will only take women, children on their ships. Witch women call us slavers. Attempt to take Storm Crow defeated, six crew dead, many wildlings. Eight ravens left. Dead things in the water. Send help by land, seas wracked by storms. From Talon, by hand of Maester Harmune.

Cotter Pyke had made his angry mark below.

“Is it grievous, my lord?” asked Clydas.

“Grievous enough.” Dead things in the wood. Dead things in the water. Six ships left, of the eleven that set sail. Jon Snow rolled up the parchment, frowning. Night falls, he thought, and now my war begins.

— A Dance With Dragons, Jon XI

Dead things in the woods. Dead things in the water. Here's the description of the white walkers and the merlings:

Will saw movement from the corner of his eye. Pale shapes gliding through the wood. He turned his head, glimpsed a white shadow in the darkness. Then it was gone. Branches stirred gently in the wind, scratching at one another with wooden fingers. Will opened his mouth to call down a warning, and the words seemed to freeze in his throat.

[...]

A shadow emerged from the dark of the wood. It stood in front of Royce. Tall, it was, and gaunt and hard as old bones, with flesh pale as milk. Its armor seemed to change color as it moved; here it was white as new-fallen snow, there black as shadow, everywhere dappled with the deep grey-green of the trees. The patterns ran like moonlight on water with every step it took.

— A Game of Thrones, Prologue

They tell of pale blue mists that move across the waters, mists so cold that any ship they pass over is frozen instantly; of drowned spirits who rise at night to drag the living down into the grey-green depths; of mermaids pale of flesh with black-scaled tails, far more malign than their sisters of the south.

— The World of Ice and Fire, The Shivering Sea

Pale and black and grey-green. All frozen.

There is also this similarity of both being said to lay with human women to sire terrible offsprings:

He remembered the hearth tales Old Nan told them. The wildlings were cruel men, she said, slavers and slayers and thieves. They consorted with giants and ghouls, stole girl children in the dead of night, and drank blood from polished horns. And their women lay with the Others in the Long Night to sire terrible half-human children.

— A Game of Thrones, Bran I

An even more fanciful possibility was put forth a century ago by Maester Theron. Born a bastard on the Iron Islands, Theron noted a certain likeness between the black stone of the ancient fortress and that of the Seastone Chair, the high seat of House Greyjoy of Pyke, whose origins are similarly ancient and mysterious. Theron’s rather inchoate manuscript Strange Stone postulates that both fortress and seat might be the work of a queer, misshapen race of half men sired by creatures of the salt seas upon human women. These Deep Ones, as he names them, are the seed from which our legends of merlings have grown, he argues, whilst their terrible fathers are the truth behind the Drowned God of the ironborn.

— The World of Ice and Fire, The Reach

We know the dragons are contrasted against the white walkers, but perhaps the merlings are too:

The big man looked out toward the terrace. “I knew it would rain,” he said in a gloomy tone. “My bones were aching last night. They always ache before it rains. The dragons won’t like this. Fire and water don’t mix, and that’s a fact.”

— A Dance With Dragons, The Dragontamer

Although no one can say for certain exactly what kind of creatures Euron (who, while not exactly THE NIGHT KING, is still very Night King coded) plans on summoning from the sea, but perhaps the merlings are part of his plan.

[dirtytransmasc]

maybe it's because I'm in the "I'm so obsessed and hyperfocused on my little guys I will make any song seem like it's about them even if it couldn't be any father from actually relating to them at all" stage of my Theon and Asha hyperfixation but like...

I feel like 'I bet on losing dogs' by Mitski is about them.

it's about Asha and her relationship with Theon.

he's her baby brother. the baby brother who looked up at her smiled when she had gone in his room, intent on strangling him to stop his cries. he's her losing dog. the dog she keeps fighting for when no one else will. she never gives up on him, not truly, even when he is so clearly doomed, because she loves him, she won't give up on him.

and Theon is, in so many senses, a dog. he's been passed around from owner to owner, home to home, trained and beaten and domesticated, made to behave how his owner at the time sees fit. he's a good dog, a good beaten dog.

and now, in a way, he's Asha's dog. she doesn't want him to be her dog, she wants him to be her brother, and Theon's trying, he really is trying, she knows he's trying, but part of him will always be doomed to be a dog waiting to be hit, waiting for a command, waiting to be trained.

he's her losing dog, she knows it, knows he's doomed, deep down, there's little hope, he'll die a damned dog, but fuck it she doesn't care, he's her blood, her baby, he will be by her side no matter what. she'll always go back for him, she'll always fight for him, she'll always tell him to stay, she'll always give him a chance, she'll always try.

~~~~

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

have you done a falia yet, for your photos?

save yourself cringefail girlloser save yourself

(Sources: "The final straw" by Nival_Vixen, "Beast Meridian" by Vanessa Angélica Villarreal, Louise Bourgeois' "The Hour Is Devoted to Revenge", "It's different for girls" by Of Montreal, "The Penitent Saint Mary Magdalene")

[dyannawynnedayne]

Listening to Clash of Critics discuss Bran II from AGOT and thinking about how Jaime really just threw himself out that window huh whats more fitting of a member of the kingsguard than destroying the dreams of a young boy who idolizes you by committing an act of violence against him

[rise-my-angel]

Also just a shoutout to Victarion whose such a petty bitch about the things that are his fault. Like hes so angry at Euron for raping his third wife, and is planning on sailing through the Dothraki Sea (which isnt a sea btw its literally fields of fucking grass), and taking Daenerys for himself instead of giving her to Euron, as retribution for his third wife.

Meanwhile, Victarions the one who honour killed his own wife after she was raped, and fed her corpse to fucking crabs. Like, I want you to explain to me how you crying when you beat her to death still make her death Eurons fault.

I think "I beat her to death with my own hands", is where her death starts and stops at being your fault, buddy.

[duchess-of-oldtown]

This Week on Keeping up with the Greyjoys...

Theon: I'm on a voyage of really finding myself again

Asha: Stannis is just really out here enforcing gender roles in a fucking crisis... anyway back to that asshole who flips his hair and left me walking in a fucking blizzard on a broken ankle

Victarion: WHAT DO YOU MEAN GRINDR ISN'T AN APP FOR SHARPENING MY WEAPONS *smashes phone*

Euron: *showing off his entire collection of villain costumes* It's all about dressing for the job you want not the one you have.

Aeron *tied to a bow of the Silence*: EEEEEERRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

Balon: ☠️

[fromtheseventhhell]

"Rhaegar is a prophecy obsessed man"

"He doesn't love anyone"

"He just wanted prophecy babies"

???

Did i miss something in the books? I get it, Rhaegar cared for the prophecy because the threat of the others is real, but why do people believe this dude is a fucking robot? O.o

Also, didn't Grrm call him "love struck prince"?

You didn't miss anything in the books, fandom just loves coming up with reasons to justify their hatred toward Rhaegar. Portraying him as a soulless, heartless monster just makes that easier than using what's actually written about his character.

[thehauntingofharrenhouse]

remember euron greyjoy still wants to marry daenerys, the person in the world most capable of and likely to kill him on sight