#and the domestic violence and what not

[normalbrothers]

by all what is given (and likely intended, but who knows?), they are both straight, but you can make a few assumptions re: tommy's relationship with freddie (and to a lesser degree with alfie) where the issue at hand is less about being troubled over a possible attraction to men, but a lack of trust/fraught history/betrayals/... (nevertheless persistent sexual and/or romantic attraction) while arthur doesn't have equivalent relationships to other men (unless you wonder what he's been up to with billy grade, but ... different can of worms), but is kind of the platonic ideal of a closeted gay narrative.

tricky!, but i think there's a solution to this ...

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[notherpuppet]

This is the train of thought I have regarding alastor’s mom (not being an ‘evil’ woman, but perhaps enabling her son’s violent behavior)

⚠️ CW: blood, implied domestic violence

[onesidedradiostatic]

can we talk about how the weirdest part of staticmoth isn't even the fact that they're toxic to each other?

it's how they both react to each other's toxicity with nonchalance.

like. first, during val's tantrum, val throws a glass at vox, or well, in his vicinity.

then vox just... steps away like it's nobody's business, barely bothered by it.

and later, when it's vox's turn to be angry, he roughly pulls val down, shakes him, and shouts at his face.

then val just... shrugs it off.

usually when you think of a toxic relationship, you'd probably think of person A being toxic to person B then person B biting back just as toxic until it's a back and forth of toxicity, a full-blown fight.

but that. that's not staticmoth. staticmoth is fucking weird in that when one is acting toxic towards the other, the other acts nonchalant and doesn't retaliate. then they switch roles on who the toxic one is and who the nonchalant one is.

I am not at all denying the toxicity in their relationship, but they certainly are a really fucking weird brand of toxic that is just. so hard to describe.

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Episode Seven and White Tears

The trial's allegory is not just a lynching, it is a lynching for a Black person entering a relationship with a respected White man, and proceeding to leave him. It's not a murder case, as seen through the show, there's actually very little emphasis on the murder in the episode in regards to Louis. The emphasis is on his "seduction", his "ungiving nature", and "refusing to give his body". It is a public humiliation and lynching for turning a respected white man down. The crime isn't hurting Lestat, it's hurting his feelings.

Lestat doesn't speak to the audience about the pain of his throat being slit. He speaks of loneliness, the audience chants and jeers about how cheating was justified if Louis isn't putting out. Santiago isn't talking about the murder, he's talking about how much of a sexual deviant Louis is the second he is introduced. The show is telling us what's important to the case, and what language hurt and stuck out to Louis the most. The deciding factor in the eyes of the audience, the story that Sam and Santiago are trying to tell, is that the crime is heinous because Louis turned down Lestat.

The audience isn't mad about the murder, they're mad about Lestat's emotions, they're mad about the betrayal, and they are mad that Louis and Claudia didn't put up with things. The case built against the two of them isn't based on violence, it's based on white tears. Louis isn't called a monster for slitting Lestat's throat, the audience member calls him a monster for turning down Lestat's advances.

The show is clear that the trial isn't really about the murder, it is about Louis not "giving enough" for Lestat. It's about Louis asking Lestat to turn Claudia and literally bargaining his happiness where he literally gets on his knees and says "I'll be happy for you, I will never leave you if you do this for me". It's never been about the murder, it's quite literally just shaming Louis for not "loving a good man who might be abusive".

At the end of the day, the trial as framed and written by Sam is building a case off of Lestat's tears, not actual physical harm.

Like my skin is crawling but also the show is so chilling with how it portrayed the "He's a good man so hold your tongue and endure! Lest you read as ungrateful".

Anyways someone take the laptop from me before this becomes my life.

[jellyskink]

So Bill, You still use the Shackles and chains on Ford ? 😶‍🌫️

Bill chains Ford up outside the Fearamid when he gets too annoying

Ford just wanted to tell him about all the cool moths he saw that year :c

[lovewithoutagony]

i love being an artist bc if my brain demands old men kissing my hands would dive right into it and be done in 40 minutes

[malloryrowinski]

It’s hard to believe I even have to explain this but if you have a friend who’s in a domestic violence situation/abusive relationship and you’re cutting her out because she comes to you for advice but “she just won’t leave him” and you’re tired of hearing about it, you’re subhuman and what you’re actually doing is siding with the abuser and helping him by ostracising her. Hope this helps

[nyracel]

i’m not going to freak out just yet about that new still, all i’ll say is adding in MORE unnecessary gendered violence to a show that ends in femicide is… quite the choice, especially when you claim you’re writing a feminist adaptation.

[galactic-rhea]

The thing is,,,,abuse doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or lack of confidence, though yes, a person with low self-esteem is an easier target for abusers, however that's what not I'm talking about.

Like I'm someone who doesn't like to take part in The Discourse (tm) because this is fandom, I'm here to talk about my favorite dolls and create silly scenaries with them. And it might feel a bit egregious to talk about something as delicate and serious as abuse, grooming or domestic violence but also it's the perfect playground to explore such themes and you can learn a lot by psychologically analizing a character and do your own research on the matter so you can understand abuse better, and sometimes that way you can also have a more critical view on real life, and for some of us, also come to terms with our own lives.

That said, back to my original point, it has nothing to do with intelligence. A person that falls into a cycle of abuse doesn't make them stupid, the whole deal of predators and abusers is that they know how to play their game, they know how to manipulate. A victim's mind will always try to cope with the abuse in ways that can be hard to understand sometimes in ways that will make you say 'well, that's enabling their abuser', but is not a statement on their intelligence or lack of it, abuse dynamics are extremelly complex, and victims will go through several states such a guilt, or violent outbrusts, fear, appeasing, avoidance, sometimes all sometimes just a few. And it's because no one is the same and no one's experiences will be the same, even though there are patterns you can identify sometimes.

So when someone wants to argue against a character being too smart to fall for abuse or manipulation, it's a bit sad to me. Not necessarily malicious or dangerous, or anything, again this is fandom and fandom runs rampant with whatever takes that makes all of us grimace. But because that's not how it works, if a certain dynamic isn't abusive by your pov, then it has nothing to do with the character's intelligence. It's not about being strong, or confident; that downplays how abusive dynamics come to be.

Like for example y'know I don't think padmé and anakin were abusive, I've made several posts about it, but it's not because they are too intelligent for that.

Likewise, Anakin wasn't stupid for being groomed by Palpatine; the contrary, he was quite literally a gifted child and a genius at mechanics and was good at many things, including drawing and strategies, but he fell for Palpatine's grooming because:

a) Palpatine is an evil top tier manipulator and predator who knows how to play adults, he literally knew how to play the jedi council, what was a 9 y/o going to do about it.

And b) Anakin's trauma and unattended mental illnesses made him an easier victim for grooming; he was already used to be a thing and be a servant from the moment he learned to talk.

But even if we weren't talking about someone as deeply messed up as Anakin was already, abusers and predators always will take advantage and exploit of the weaknesses and flaws on an individual, they will adapt and change their tactic according to the victim needs, that's why anyone could become a victim, it doesn't matter if your IQ is up there on the moon.

It's not about being too "stupid" to not realize there was abuse, it's a deep, complicated and terrible ensemble of thoughts and insecurities tangling around the brain in such a way that there's no a way to blame the abuser without feeling at fault, or at the very least without feeling scared of retaliation or lost, it's a power dynamic that messes up the sense of self.

[moyazaika]

:))))))))))) i’m so done

WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP GETTING THESE ON DASH WHICH TAGS AM I NOT BLOCKING FUCK OFF FUCK OFFF DONT LET IT COME NEAR ME

FU K OFF ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

ACTUALLY FUCK OFF

hey so this is fucking insane domestic violence is not a fucking part of your little uwu stawker fantasy! ‘yandere’ is a fiction trope, and there are no such things as darlings irl! hope this helps! please seek psychiatric care xxx ❤️

also bye “poc friendly” is taking me out because like what’s the alternative??? i’m dying i’m DYINGyou’re fucking killing me here op i beg you get a job 😭😭😭😭😭😭

or don’t tbh the workforce can’t handle your dark humour 🥀🥀 you’re too sigma…. too edgy… nobody understands you (except a psychiatrist probably. if you catch my drift 😊😊)

[ryukisgod]

If a man engages in domestic violence but has never hit one of his bosses, he doesn’t have an anger “management” problem, he can manage his emotions just fine, he just thinks it’s morally okay to hit his wife/gf, and or there won’t be consequences for it

[bandomfandombeyond]

the state of education in the USA: I'm trying to convince the school to care that an extremely religious right-wing teacher in my program thinks it's acceptable to say "I have a gun" and "I think I should be allowed to shoot criminals on sight" in the same breaths.

[happyheidi]

Did your partner try to kill you 😶😮😲🤯😩😭

Yes. Twice. First a car “accident” (that actually ended up in two papers here in Norway). He drove a huge Honda right into a little fence in record speed and it turned 180* degrees in the air and we ended up upside down. It was so weird because the medic said “it’s very important to use a seatbelt but in this specific instance if u had worn one ur neck would’ve cracked and u would most likely die. It’s important to wear a seatbelt at any time but this specific time it was actually good that u didn’t wear it”. HOW INSANE? I remember we told our parents when we had this “meeting” after this and no one believed it (not that it matters but I was just so stunned by it) but pls use a seatbelt!! This it not an anti-seatbelt announcement (wear ur seatbelt! Seriously!!!). I’m just relaying what he told me.

And the other time (I went back u see. Cus im an idiot u see…) and when I wanted to end it he said a version of the “if I can’t have u no one will” shit and stood there with a knife and said “well then one of us has to go” (and u know what ‘go’ means…) and I remember being really scared he was gonna hurt moffe (my dog) which he was always jealous of (imagine being jealous by a 3 kilo dog jeez man…) but yeah it was a little knife fight and it ended with the police (I called) and I had to walk to my dad in the coldest of winter. around 2 a clock at night I remember. It was legally his apartment after all. The rich wins. The cops didn’t even give me a ride. It was so cold I remember having to carry Moffe a lot of the way.. in the middle of the night. But I did love him at some point. He was the love of my life in many ways. I’m very glad I experienced that. I’m just sad it had to be such a dramatic ending.

I was always the “free spirit” so everyone including myself was very surprised when I ended up in a relationship. (I first started dating him when I was 16, we ended it when I was maybe 20, then two years without him and back at it again for a couple years) But I loved him a lot and I wish him all the best. I have no angry feelings towards him. I wasn’t an angel either. Tho it didn’t have to end like it did.

[cringefaecompilation]

mfw orym, guy with a missing dad who fucking despises him to the point he refuses to remember his first name and notably cares deeply or is overprotective for the vast swath of his surviving all-female family members starts talking about how "important the relationships between fathers and sons" are

[sweetsweetperil]

Tell me I’m your dream girl

The one you think about at night

Tell me that when you can’t sleep

It’s because I’m dancing in your mind

Tell me you’ll do anything

To keep me in your life

Tell me that you love me

Maybe then I won’t put up a fight