#and the domestic violence and what not
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by all what is given (and likely intended, but who knows?), they are both straight, but you can make a few assumptions re: tommy's relationship with freddie (and to a lesser degree with alfie) where the issue at hand is less about being troubled over a possible attraction to men, but a lack of trust/fraught history/betrayals/... (nevertheless persistent sexual and/or romantic attraction) while arthur doesn't have equivalent relationships to other men (unless you wonder what he's been up to with billy grade, but ... different can of worms), but is kind of the platonic ideal of a closeted gay narrative.
tricky!, but i think there's a solution to this ...
#no but seriously arthur has a latent suppressed attraction 2 men makes sense insofar as that his self/ideal self/wants/desires are so#fractured and cause him great deal of distress over not knowing what he wants or how to articulate it#it's ripe with it. nevertheless#there are no good gay arthur takes in this fandom though they are all boring and like to ignore things like him being attracted to women#and the domestic violence and what not#though i maintain that arthur's suicide letter was also a love confession so maybe the closeted vibes have less to do with an attraction to#men generally and more to his brother
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I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family
I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, letâs called her âPâ, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives
Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.
The reality for lots of tradwives living âperfect livesâ is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasnât in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didnât matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.
Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people donât consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.
It wasnât that she was âstupidâ, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like theyâre being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, womenâs bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.
Sheâs doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a womanâs support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.
I donât envy tradwives, but I donât find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, theyâre also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, theyâre screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isnât carefully curated).
#if anything I would say I pity the majority of them#material living aside - what an awful way to live.#katie rambles#tw domestic violence#tw abuse#ask 2 tag
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This is the train of thought I have regarding alastorâs mom (not being an âevilâ woman, but perhaps enabling her sonâs violent behavior)
â ď¸ CW: blood, implied domestic violence
#like what if she planted that seed with him#that violence is acceptable if itâs against âbadâ people#hazbin hotel#my doods#alastor#cw: blood#cw: domestic violence
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can we talk about how the weirdest part of staticmoth isn't even the fact that they're toxic to each other?
it's how they both react to each other's toxicity with nonchalance.
like. first, during val's tantrum, val throws a glass at vox, or well, in his vicinity.
then vox just... steps away like it's nobody's business, barely bothered by it.
and later, when it's vox's turn to be angry, he roughly pulls val down, shakes him, and shouts at his face.
then val just... shrugs it off.
usually when you think of a toxic relationship, you'd probably think of person A being toxic to person B then person B biting back just as toxic until it's a back and forth of toxicity, a full-blown fight.
but that. that's not staticmoth. staticmoth is fucking weird in that when one is acting toxic towards the other, the other acts nonchalant and doesn't retaliate. then they switch roles on who the toxic one is and who the nonchalant one is.
I am not at all denying the toxicity in their relationship, but they certainly are a really fucking weird brand of toxic that is just. so hard to describe.
#osrs.txt#what the fuck is wrong with them (millions of things)#staticmoth#voxval#I didn't want to put too many examples in here but there's also val throwing and breaking vox's phone#where vox just looks annoyed but otherwise does not retaliate or bite back#then there's vox trying to get val's attention cause he wasn't listening to him#and he does the first instance of pulling him down roughly and shouting at his face#to which val just stares into blank space LMAO and also does not retaliate to this#not really sure how to classify their respective manipulations in this since... it's manipulation and not outright aggression#lmk what to tag here cause I have no fucking clue#tw domestic violence#???#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox#vox hazbin#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino#valentino hazbin#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#couldn't find all the gifs I wanted so I made them myself LMAO
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Episode Seven and White Tears
The trial's allegory is not just a lynching, it is a lynching for a Black person entering a relationship with a respected White man, and proceeding to leave him. It's not a murder case, as seen through the show, there's actually very little emphasis on the murder in the episode in regards to Louis. The emphasis is on his "seduction", his "ungiving nature", and "refusing to give his body". It is a public humiliation and lynching for turning a respected white man down. The crime isn't hurting Lestat, it's hurting his feelings.
Lestat doesn't speak to the audience about the pain of his throat being slit. He speaks of loneliness, the audience chants and jeers about how cheating was justified if Louis isn't putting out. Santiago isn't talking about the murder, he's talking about how much of a sexual deviant Louis is the second he is introduced. The show is telling us what's important to the case, and what language hurt and stuck out to Louis the most. The deciding factor in the eyes of the audience, the story that Sam and Santiago are trying to tell, is that the crime is heinous because Louis turned down Lestat.
The audience isn't mad about the murder, they're mad about Lestat's emotions, they're mad about the betrayal, and they are mad that Louis and Claudia didn't put up with things. The case built against the two of them isn't based on violence, it's based on white tears. Louis isn't called a monster for slitting Lestat's throat, the audience member calls him a monster for turning down Lestat's advances.
The show is clear that the trial isn't really about the murder, it is about Louis not "giving enough" for Lestat. It's about Louis asking Lestat to turn Claudia and literally bargaining his happiness where he literally gets on his knees and says "I'll be happy for you, I will never leave you if you do this for me". It's never been about the murder, it's quite literally just shaming Louis for not "loving a good man who might be abusive".
At the end of the day, the trial as framed and written by Sam is building a case off of Lestat's tears, not actual physical harm.
Like my skin is crawling but also the show is so chilling with how it portrayed the "He's a good man so hold your tongue and endure! Lest you read as ungrateful".
Anyways someone take the laptop from me before this becomes my life.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#vampterview#iwtv meta#louis de pointe du lac#but also i love how the show literally portrays the 'how dare louis not want lestat' argument as an explicitly vapid take...#also love how it explains how the 'Louis is asking for it/deserves it' framing explicitly takes agency from both Louis and Lestat as chars#Lestat is like 'nope this was what I choose to do' and refuses to let someone take that choice away from him#Lestat says it was a bad choice and now he sits in it... apologia made by others doesn't matter and shouldn't be made in his opinion#being mean vs murder... uhhh i think being mean is actually the worst crime Louis has committed here!#And of course they have to frame it like that because if they didn't the clear domestic violence would be put into question
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So Bill, You still use the Shackles and chains on Ford ? đśâđŤď¸
Bill chains Ford up outside the Fearamid when he gets too annoying
Ford just wanted to tell him about all the cool moths he saw that year :c
#gravity falls#gravity falls au#domesticated ford#ford pines#stanford pines#my art#sketch#ask#poor nerd#and yeah I know what you meant#BUT I CONTROL THE NARRATIVE#WEâRE NO ALL VIOLENCE AND NO SEX BAYBEE
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I don't get to talk about feminism in real life, because it's not an accepted topic here, it's an 'evil harpy movement' still, despite it getting women the right to vote, own property, own a bank account, be able to be paid for work. The consenus is that normal women don't need to be feminists, we already have the right to vote so what more could we possibly want. I do get to talk with young women about it! When I have some teenagers or young adult women in my life, I am telling them all about it, showing them all the violence statistics, instructing them on all possible methods of abortion, and they are genuinely stunned to gain this information they've never had access to before.
But yesterday, I was at plant lady's house, and I breached the topic of feminism, because I had just entered a feminist book club, and joined a little group of croatian radfems, so I was all up in my ideas about it. And I love the plant lady, she's a beloved figure in my life, but she is both against feminism, and a huge fan of conspiracy theories. So when I started talking about feminism, she interrupted me to tell me that she heard that women, are not in fact, responsible for feminism, but it's actually males in power that are pulling the strings. I explained that we don't even allow m*n to participate in what we do, but she was sure she's right, because, males in power thought it would be cool for women to have jobs and pay taxes, so they invented feminism, to collect more taxes and have more workers. And I knew I couldn't argue her about it because conspiracy theories exist to null every argument against them, right, no matter what I say, she'll have a more incredible explanation. So instead I changed the topic to the problems of sexual violence against women, domestic violence, normalization of pedophilia, and treatment of women like objects due to rampant pornography.
And she's like, no, that doesn't happen, most people are normal and have normal marriages and treat women normally, and these problems, are not the problems of 'feminism', these are things everyone is against â and I say no they're not, m*n don't care, they don't fight against any of it, in fact they're the perpetrators of 90% of these crimes. Then she launches into a story of an abused woman who refused to leave her husband because she loved him. I explain to her that this is incredibly common and it's called 'cycle of abuse', and we can resolve this by teaching women very early on about this cylce, that it can easily happen to them no matter what kind of husband they choose, and to recognize the signs early, before it comes to worst, and for women who are going trough it, they need all this euducation too. What is happening currently is nobody is talking about it and we pretend it doesn't exist and then victim-blame women when they get abused. Most abused women don't even recognize they're being abused because they're being isolated and told it's their own fault. Then she launched into another story about a woman who she knows was battered who escaped. Then she mentioned another situation she knew with a violent husband, and another with a drunk one. And I'm listening to her like. Hey. You said this doesn't even happen, that it's incredibly rare, but you personally know this many cases? And you know me, I've been living in violence too, remember?
And she just looks at me. Realizing for a second that it's not that rare. She didn't argue with me. She previously really thought about each and every case she knew as an outlier, something so improbable and rare that it wasn't really a social problem. She told me then, that we can't really help these people, because police only makes it worse, so what do we even do. I told her it's important that we talk about it, that we offer resources and teach women early on to recognize abuse, and to make a point of not blaming women for it, to make it clear any male could do it to them at any point, to be ready for it, to reconsider marrying, to have a separate bank account, to never let their survival and housing be completely dependant on a male.
I also indulged her to think why women can find themselves in these situations in the first place? If we're so equal, how come it's possible women don't have anywhere to go to, and need to stay in the abusers house to just survive. I said it has something to do with parents usually leaving their houses and properties to sons, and expecting daughters to move into their husbands places, and she again said 'no this doesn't happen', and I went 'well why don't these abused women just move into their own houses they inherited from their parents' and she again, had no arguments. It's not the sole reason though, women earn less too, get less promotions, get paid less for the same job, still mostly do unpaid labour, dedicate a big part of their life to raising children on their own, they don't get to accumulate funds and properties in the same ways m*n do.
Anyway, while we were having this entire conversation, her 18yo daughter was there, listening to us, and miraculously, she seemed to agree with me! When the plant lady claimed 'there's so many normal ones out there', the daughter interrupted to say 'no mom, there's no normal m*n out there, I can't find anyone normal', and I immediately supported her claim with agreement. I was so happy to be a little feminist influence on her and to validate her point! She was also wearing a shirt that said 'grl pwr' and I was like 'yes this is great' even though it's just a liberal catchphrase, it's still a sign of wanting women to have power in the world that doesn't believe a word they say.
I think the type of attitude the plant lady has is extremely common for women in our country, in fact she was very receptive to what I was saying. She knew about this many cases of domestic abuse, because she was often the safe person for these women to tell, and she has been helping the ones who escaped, me included.
Most women I know will launch in defense of males and trashing of women as soon as you mention feminism, because it's the only socially accepted thing to do. I believe we all have women in our lives who are not malicious or terribly ignorant, but affected by the mainstream beliefs that women are asking for too much, already have everything, and are at fault for everything that happens to them; this is incredibly pervasive and impossible to debate in a conversation. It's so ingrained in women to go against anything that makes m*n look bad, it's almost considered a sin and a hate crime to even think this way. Like something a bad, selfish, bitter, irrational and greedy woman would do, and nobody wants to be dubbed that. I remember thinking this way myself when I was a teen; I wanted to hold males responsible so bad, but the shame of being seen as this hateful and bitter person was getting to me, to the point where I would silent down and not speak out.
I used to get so angry at anti feminists, and would avoid indulging with the topic because it would irritate me so much, but I've gained more understanding as I go on, and can now tolerate the opposing arguments when I know they've come from propaganda and social pressure, rather than ignorance or hunger for approval. I'm more effective being able to indulge a little! Not a lot though. If I spent a lot of my time trying to argue with anti-feminists I would in fact, wither and die.
#me every day: what about domestic violence#am i posting too much about domestic violence?#no its because the rest of the planet isnt bringing it up enough#i have to pick up the slack#radical feminism#feminism#domestic violence#anti feminists#conspiracy theories#male abusers#trying to share feminism in croatia#deadly adventure#but someones gotta do it
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i love being an artist bc if my brain demands old men kissing my hands would dive right into it and be done in 40 minutes
#art#ship art#simebarb#barbatos x simeon#simeon x barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#caved in. assignments be forgotten. old men yaoi NOW#i don't know how to draw ppl kissing#also i haven't talked about why this ship really gets me.#it's all bcs if the sweet tender fact that these two are ancient beings yet.#they bond over the simplest most domestic things like cooking#and how they could understand eachother and see eye to eye#the fact that the two probably yearn to have someone as old as them#as they could probably understand them better and see through their facade#the walls that they've built for millennia#and here they are#and yet their love is what rouses god's wrath and the violence of the seas#the two eldest in the cast being hunted down by gods and celestial beings simply because they yearn to love and be loved.#damn. sorry guys#only touched the surface though:)
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Itâs hard to believe I even have to explain this but if you have a friend whoâs in a domestic violence situation/abusive relationship and youâre cutting her out because she comes to you for advice but âshe just wonât leave himâ and youâre tired of hearing about it, youâre subhuman and what youâre actually doing is siding with the abuser and helping him by ostracising her. Hope this helps
#radfem#radblr#feminism#domestic violence#friendship#womahood#leaving isnât easy#idc what you think youâd do in her shoes bc youâve clearly never been in her shoes#stop blaming women
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iâm not going to freak out just yet about that new still, all iâll say is adding in MORE unnecessary gendered violence to a show that ends in femicide is⌠quite the choice, especially when you claim youâre writing a feminist adaptation.
#house of the dragon#hotd critical#rhaenyra targaryen#pro rhaenyra targaryen#anti ryan condal#anti sara hess#and for those of you turning this into a âhaha this just reaffirms my hate towards daemonâ joke#i hope you choke#domestic violence isnât funny#and was not needed considering what the story is about
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The thing is,,,,abuse doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or lack of confidence, though yes, a person with low self-esteem is an easier target for abusers, however that's what not I'm talking about.
Like I'm someone who doesn't like to take part in The Discourse (tm) because this is fandom, I'm here to talk about my favorite dolls and create silly scenaries with them. And it might feel a bit egregious to talk about something as delicate and serious as abuse, grooming or domestic violence but also it's the perfect playground to explore such themes and you can learn a lot by psychologically analizing a character and do your own research on the matter so you can understand abuse better, and sometimes that way you can also have a more critical view on real life, and for some of us, also come to terms with our own lives.
That said, back to my original point, it has nothing to do with intelligence. A person that falls into a cycle of abuse doesn't make them stupid, the whole deal of predators and abusers is that they know how to play their game, they know how to manipulate. A victim's mind will always try to cope with the abuse in ways that can be hard to understand sometimes in ways that will make you say 'well, that's enabling their abuser', but is not a statement on their intelligence or lack of it, abuse dynamics are extremelly complex, and victims will go through several states such a guilt, or violent outbrusts, fear, appeasing, avoidance, sometimes all sometimes just a few. And it's because no one is the same and no one's experiences will be the same, even though there are patterns you can identify sometimes.
So when someone wants to argue against a character being too smart to fall for abuse or manipulation, it's a bit sad to me. Not necessarily malicious or dangerous, or anything, again this is fandom and fandom runs rampant with whatever takes that makes all of us grimace. But because that's not how it works, if a certain dynamic isn't abusive by your pov, then it has nothing to do with the character's intelligence. It's not about being strong, or confident; that downplays how abusive dynamics come to be.
Like for example y'know I don't think padmĂŠ and anakin were abusive, I've made several posts about it, but it's not because they are too intelligent for that.
Likewise, Anakin wasn't stupid for being groomed by Palpatine; the contrary, he was quite literally a gifted child and a genius at mechanics and was good at many things, including drawing and strategies, but he fell for Palpatine's grooming because:
a) Palpatine is an evil top tier manipulator and predator who knows how to play adults, he literally knew how to play the jedi council, what was a 9 y/o going to do about it.
And b) Anakin's trauma and unattended mental illnesses made him an easier victim for grooming; he was already used to be a thing and be a servant from the moment he learned to talk.
But even if we weren't talking about someone as deeply messed up as Anakin was already, abusers and predators always will take advantage and exploit of the weaknesses and flaws on an individual, they will adapt and change their tactic according to the victim needs, that's why anyone could become a victim, it doesn't matter if your IQ is up there on the moon.
It's not about being too "stupid" to not realize there was abuse, it's a deep, complicated and terrible ensemble of thoughts and insecurities tangling around the brain in such a way that there's no a way to blame the abuser without feeling at fault, or at the very least without feeling scared of retaliation or lost, it's a power dynamic that messes up the sense of self.
#star wars#anakin skywalker#sheev palpatine#padmĂŠ amidala#rambling#lots of rambling#tbh i wasn't expecting this to get long but ah well that's what always happens with me#tw abuse#tw grooming#tw domestic violence#fandom stuff#this was very messy tbh i'm not completelly focused right now i've been anxious the whole day bleh sorry if is not very coherent
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:))))))))))) iâm so done
WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP GETTING THESE ON DASH WHICH TAGS AM I NOT BLOCKING FUCK OFF FUCK OFFF DONT LET IT COME NEAR ME
FU K OFF â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸
ACTUALLY FUCK OFF
hey so this is fucking insane domestic violence is not a fucking part of your little uwu stawker fantasy! âyandereâ is a fiction trope, and there are no such things as darlings irl! hope this helps! please seek psychiatric care xxx â¤ď¸
also bye âpoc friendlyâ is taking me out because like whatâs the alternative??? iâm dying iâm DYINGyouâre fucking killing me here op i beg you get a job đđđđđđ
or donât tbh the workforce canât handle your dark humour đĽđĽ youâre too sigmaâŚ. too edgy⌠nobody understands you (except a psychiatrist probably. if you catch my drift đđ)
#guys EVEEU TIME I LOG IN#I SEE ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS#WHAT othER TAGS DO I NEED TO BLOCK#no but genuinely#your daily reminder that you should NEVER romanticise this#it is NOT cute irl it is FATAL#CONDONING AND ENDORSING domestic violence is NOT OKAY. GET HELP.#tw dv
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If a man engages in domestic violence but has never hit one of his bosses, he doesnât have an anger âmanagementâ problem, he can manage his emotions just fine, he just thinks itâs morally okay to hit his wife/gf, and or there wonât be consequences for it
#his boss will fire him#but his wife wonât necessarily divorce him#losing income vs losing a relationship#depends on what field he works in it is easier to get a new girlfriend than a new job#most applications want a reference from your former job#whereas women you go on dates with donât ask for references from previous girlfriends#lundy bancroft#domestic violence#feminism#radical feminists do interact#itâs like the expression#If He Wanted To He Would#but the reverse#If He Didnât Want To He Wouldnât
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the state of education in the USA: I'm trying to convince the school to care that an extremely religious right-wing teacher in my program thinks it's acceptable to say "I have a gun" and "I think I should be allowed to shoot criminals on sight" in the same breaths.
#gun violence#gun control#i dont even know what to do#the point here is he thinks he should be the judge jury and executioner#and all you freaks getting in my mentions agreeing with him are basically domestic terrorists#youre gonna side with a private corporation ober a person?#deep throat the boot further please
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Did your partner try to kill you đśđŽđ˛đ¤ŻđŠđ
Yes. Twice. First a car âaccidentâ (that actually ended up in two papers here in Norway). He drove a huge Honda right into a little fence in record speed and it turned 180* degrees in the air and we ended up upside down. It was so weird because the medic said âitâs very important to use a seatbelt but in this specific instance if u had worn one ur neck wouldâve cracked and u would most likely die. Itâs important to wear a seatbelt at any time but this specific time it was actually good that u didnât wear itâ. HOW INSANE? I remember we told our parents when we had this âmeetingâ after this and no one believed it (not that it matters but I was just so stunned by it) but pls use a seatbelt!! This it not an anti-seatbelt announcement (wear ur seatbelt! Seriously!!!). Iâm just relaying what he told me.
And the other time (I went back u see. Cus im an idiot u seeâŚ) and when I wanted to end it he said a version of the âif I canât have u no one willâ shit and stood there with a knife and said âwell then one of us has to goâ (and u know what âgoâ meansâŚ) and I remember being really scared he was gonna hurt moffe (my dog) which he was always jealous of (imagine being jealous by a 3 kilo dog jeez manâŚ) but yeah it was a little knife fight and it ended with the police (I called) and I had to walk to my dad in the coldest of winter. around 2 a clock at night I remember. It was legally his apartment after all. The rich wins. The cops didnât even give me a ride. It was so cold I remember having to carry Moffe a lot of the way.. in the middle of the night. But I did love him at some point. He was the love of my life in many ways. Iâm very glad I experienced that. Iâm just sad it had to be such a dramatic ending.
I was always the âfree spiritâ so everyone including myself was very surprised when I ended up in a relationship. (I first started dating him when I was 16, we ended it when I was maybe 20, then two years without him and back at it again for a couple years) But I loved him a lot and I wish him all the best. I have no angry feelings towards him. I wasnât an angel either. Tho it didnât have to end like it did.
#that felt good to write#should this have a trigger warning?#if so what?#this is over 10 years ago btw so Iâm all good#car accident#relationship#ask#domestic violence#car crash
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mfw orym, guy with a missing dad who fucking despises him to the point he refuses to remember his first name and notably cares deeply or is overprotective for the vast swath of his surviving all-female family members starts talking about how "important the relationships between fathers and sons" are
#đ#critical role#critrole#cr spoilers#orym of the air ashari#gonna tack on a tw for safety#domestic violence tw#HEY ORYM. HEY#IS THERE A REASON YOU PROTECTED THE WOMEN IN THE PARTY IN PARTICULAR WHEN YOU FIRST SHOWED UP#THAT YOU AREN'T TELLING US#edit: i've seen people saying he's talking about will and derrig and idk man that doesn't make too much sense to me#nothing's been said in canon or even implied that either orym or will had rocky relationships with derrig#or that orym was going to ask for permission for dorian's hand in marriage which felt kinda ooc to me?#and assuring him that dorian is a good man and can be trusted is just something he's done with all of the party! but here...#something felt off with the framing and idk what but that specific lead in made me a bit uneasy#but i think orym wanting dorian's dad to believe in him and trust him might lend itself to this feeling of inadequacy orym personally has
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