#and the dogs are like what the fuck. these guys don't live in our yard.

[creekfiend]

the weeds in my yard are long enough that it is a tick hazard but the last time lawn mowers were used there were so many toad casualties that my mom and I decided to just bring goats up for a couple days and see if they can graze it down a bit and boy is this silly

[xiaq]

I got another raise today. Praise for my contributions to my team, validation for my hard work, and a clear overview of what my continued progression in my company could look like. I celebrated by taking the afternoon off to nap and read in bed with my husband. I painted some swatches in the space that will soon be my library in the basement of our new home. I talked to my publisher about the process of turning my 3 published books into audio books. And now I'm in the living room, writing and watching my dog attempt to entice pedestrians on the sidewalk to pet him over the front yard fence.

Next month it'll be two years since I left academia.

It was the hardest and the best thing I ever did.

Three years ago, I was having an existential crisis about my career. I was working 60+ hours a week for embarrassingly little pay as lecturer. I loved my job, but I knew that continuing to work in academia wasn't a sustainable option for me. The thought of buying a house some day was laughable. I'd sworn off relationships. I looked at my writing and I thought there was no chance I'd ever publish anything. I was nearly thirty and I felt like I'd wasted the last decade of my life and I was fighting hard against the sunk cost fallacy that whispered I should just stay. Continue as I was. Let no one know I was drowning in the life I'd always said I wanted.

See, people like to say "it gets better" when people are feeling lost or hopeless. But what they don't tell you is that in order for things to get better you often have to do big scary shit that sometimes feels like walking backward. Sometimes you have to tear things down to the studs before you can rebuild. Sometimes the path to "better" looks a lot like "worse" at first.

I was lucky that my family and friends supported my "worse" phase while I was trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, interviewing for tech companies and taking fire fighting exams and querying agents/publishers and basically just saying "fuck it, I'll give it a try" to every available opportunity, including dating the guy who is now the love of my life. But "it gets better" requires hard work and bravery and putting yourself out there and bitter disappointment and rallying and leaning on that support system, and trying again.

So, I'm not sure where I'm going with this other than to say, for anyone else who was where I was 3 years back, anyone who feels stuck or hopeless or like they've wasted years of their life on a career or relationship that doesn't love them back: it gets better, but you have to fucking fight for it. So rally your troops. Get your support system in place. Give sunk cost fallacy the finger. And go figure out what will serve you better.

I'm so happy, now. My life is amazing. But it might have been amazing even faster if I'd dropped out of grad school after my first year when I realized that maybe it wasn't what I wanted after all. I wish I'd been brave then. Be brave now.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Poltergeist

Steven Spielberg: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the poltergeist Spielberg: now unfortunately, i'm kinda committed to tell a different story over at space coven tonight Spielberg: so my good friend tobe hooper is gonna tell this one for me Tobe Hooper: it's actually pronounced toe-bee Spielberg: Spielberg: what

Tobe Hooper: so this is a story about an average suburban family who suddenly finds a ghost in their TV Spielberg: hey can i add something Hooper: steve you said i could tell it Spielberg: oh yeah yeah definitely Spielberg: i just have Spielberg: just a little suggestion

Spielberg: hey tobe Tobe Hooper: actually it's pronounced Toe-bee Spielberg: Spielberg: what Hooper: it's pronounced- Hooper: you know what, never mind, what's on your mind steve

Spielberg: can we put in some jokes Hooper: jokes? yeah sure i guess Spielberg: like, maybe a guy could fall off a bicycle Spielberg: ha ha ha Spielberg: or maybe Spielberg: ha ha ha Spielberg: spill beer on himself Spielberg: hoo hoo ha ha ha!

Hooper: so this family includes coach from coach Hooper: and a sexy mom in short shorts Edward Lee: nice Hooper: and a dog Dean Koontz: nice

Hooper: ok so imagine there's this really creepy sequence where the dog wanders through the sleeping house, the world silent but for the static from the television Spielberg: spooky! Spielberg: ok ok my turn Spielberg: next some kids use RC cars to make a fat guy fall off a bike Spielberg: ha ha ha ha ha! Spielberg: ha ha ha ha ha! Hooper:

Spielberg: c'mon, tobe! laugh! It's funny! Spielberg: look, tobe, we don't want this story to be TOO scary Hooper: but Spielberg: in fact, i think it would be really good if, anytime something scary happened, then something goofy could happen to immediately deflate the tension Spielberg: i think that would be great!

Tobe Hooper: steve i think our story could really delve into the discomfort around the growing omnipresence of the television in our lives Spielberg: what? who are we, david cronenberg? Spielberg: just wait a year, let videodrome deal with that shit Hooper: but Spielberg: look trust me people are gonna love this RC car gag

Hooper: so this family has a ghost in their house Spielberg: hey tobe can i interject just a little thing Hooper: uh Spielberg: this family also has a crap ton of star wars toys Spielberg: like, all the kids toys are star wars related Hooper: Hooper yeah ok whatever

Hooper: so the family hires these psychics to help get the ghosts Hooper: and they bring in this expert psychic Hooper: no introduction or nothing, she's just there King: what's her name? Hooper: no time for that!

Hooper: so now the ghost attacks the sexy mom Hooper: while she's wearing her oversized football jersey as a night shirt Piers Anthony: can we um Anthony: can we see her Anthony: can we see her um Anthony: you know Hooper: oh yeah Anthony: [pumping fist] YES!!!!

Hooper: so the house, in fact, was not clean Spielberg: hey tobe what if the beast looked like a big giant skull Spielberg: just huge Hooper: that's a little on the nose steve Spielberg: maybe like one of those giant Spirit superstore inflatable yard decorations

Hooper: i'm trying to build a scary atmosphere here steve! Hooper: and you're just goofing it up! Spielberg: i'm just trying to help Hooper: well, you're not helping! Hooper: if it was up to you, we'd just have skeletons blasting out of the ground all over the place like goddamn gophers! King: ooh that would rule! Poe: yeah interesting idea Koontz: i want to see that! Hooper: Hooper: you've got to be fucking kidding me

Hooper: you know what Hooper: who cares Hooper: who cares about anything Hooper: skeletons just start popping out of everything Hooper: you guys like that??? King: yeah that's great! Poe: it's good stuff Barker: nice Koontz: i like when the skeletons are there Lovecraft: its pretty scary! Hooper: Hooper: i'm done with you guys Hooper: DONE

[magicrainbowkitties]

So yesterday my friends and I

- Were told the story of Steve the Walmart Electronics Guy, who was accosted by a MAGAt for not voting trump (Steve simply said his vote was between him and the box), and who called him a slur, to which Steve replied "Did I see you on Grindr earlier, you're kinda cute." The interaction went from there. I thanked Steve for his service to this country.

- Waited for the friend whose house we were going to to actually get home because traffic sucks so we went to this bar 2 streets away and just chilled there until we got the clear.

- Saw Shrek bc I had never seen it all the way through. Before I had always been made to experience it in chunks.

- Watched all available episodes of Dandadan. Pretty good, I was nerding out over the writing and gorgeous artwork the whole time.

- Chased our host's escape artist dog to another yard when she stopped running only to take a piss and ran back inside the house after the thunder started rumbling in the distance.

- Got caught in the torrential rain on a road with no streetlights and no clear markers. One of us had an essay due at 11:59. The driver couldn't see, and was searching desperately for a port in the storm. We saw the yellow neon glow of the Waffle House. And so the prophecy I had foretold earlier that day came true: "You don't go to Waffle House, you wind up at Waffle House."

- The essay friend is Australian and had/has never been to Waffle House, Rudy's, or Denny's despite living in Texas for a little over 8 years. We had intended to rectify the Waffle House thing at a later date. Evidently the gods had other plans.

- Scared the hell outta poor Kevin the Waffle House Guy because we got a text from...

- The friend whose house we left that he was DRIVING IN THE TORRENT TO MEET US AT WAFFLE HOUSE. Even after I called him to say "You better stay your ass inside." With the WINDOW DOWN blasting a metal song called Storm from some band I don't know (I'm sorry). He's type 1 diabetic and therefore could not eat at Waffle House.

- Made great progress in developing CAIN characters while sitting around and eating chocolate chip waffles.

My roommate (driver) and I didn't get home until after midnight. Fuck what a day. Truly no better day to watch something like Dandadan.

And now I've got an Astronomy test on fuckin election night. Fuck.

Edit: I shouldn't have done any of that because I have an entire annotated bibliography that I was supposed to turn in last night that I thought was due today not last night. Fuck.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a note on my neighbors door complaining about his stupid dog?

pretty much what it says in the title: i (20, nb) live with my mother (50s) in duplex (relevant info). not too long ago this guy--we'll call him billy--moved in next door. at first i didn't really pay him much attention. i mean i'd wave if i saw him pulling into the drive and stuff but other then that our lives didn't really intersect.

then a bunch of little things started piling up, like the way his friends were always parking in one of our spots (everyone has two parking spots. we only have one car so it's not a BIG issue, but this meant if we had company over at the same time they had to park in the grass or on the street, which was really annoying), and the weed he smokes is so fucking strong that it travels through the ventilation system and stinks up our apartment (i've burned so much incense. it's never enough. idk what the fuck strain it is but its potent, god DAMN) and now he's got a dog. a big, mean, untrained and UNLEASHED dog. that dog...i don't think i've ever hated a dog before. tbh i never thought i would, like i'm not the biggest dog fan in the world but fuck, man. i hate this stupid dog. it barks all the time. it chases my cat through the yard. it's tried to rush me twice and had to be physically restrained by billy (who was laughing and acting super blase the whole time, btw) and most recently it lunged at my mother while she was in our backyard--which is the part that REALLY pissed me off. it's to the point where we're uncomfortable in our own home.

which is where we come to this crossroads; billy says that he's going to be moving in the near future, though he hasn't specified when. i'm thinking of leaving a strongly worded note for him before he goes, something to the effect of "hey dipshit, maybe put your psycho mutt on a leash before it catches you an assault charge" but y'know, less aggressive. bc even if he's leaving soon i feel like this is something he needs to hear. but at the same time, i wonder if that's too passive aggressive? i suck at confrontation so i can't say this to him face-to-face. i'm also not sure if any sort of comment (verbal or written) would be crossing some sort of line or not, as i'm also terrible at the whole 'understanding social rules' thing.

so, WIBITA?

What are these acronyms?

[whimsicalcotton]

Hi you mentioned the Polycule(tm) so uhhhh 4, 5 & 10 from the ask game for amberpricefield if you want to do it? 👀 if not you can do any of the pairs, I'm just very unwell about apf lmao

hell yeah!!

4: Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?

i feel like if you asked each of them they would all say the other two need protecting, But. i think an underrated dynamic in apf is having pricefield as Rachel's scary dog privilege. she rolls up to the vortex party with the world's clingiest doberman and a chihuahua that could suck out your soul with its thousand yard stare. some guy will think he's putting the moves on her only to feel A Chill and turn around to find pricefield staring at him like this from across the room

5: Describe their cozy night in.

first off, Max brings Chloe up to her dorm after classes some Friday for a bit of company while she finishes up homework or w/e. however Chloe is also a category 5 Distraction and she's there watching movies or smthn and keeps accidentally (genuinely accidentally she's just a goofball) roping Max into talking about plot-holes/cool scenes/etc.

at some point Rachel shows up in her usual stray cat sort of manner just waltzing in unannounced, and she makes Chloe put one of Her shows on. and i think Rachel would watch those absolute nonsense dramas. like if that fucking Riverdale show existed then Rachel would be all over it imo. Chloe grumbles about it and poor Max is Still trying to finish that last bit of work but they both get really invested in whatever the hell Rachel puts on to the point that when she wakes up she gets to be all "Oh My GOD you're still fucking watching it >:3c "

and pricefield scramble to pretend like they weren't just caught redhanded and it's dead silent all the way to Two Whales but by the the time they actually start eating Max and Chloe have gotten into a "can you Believe [xyz] did That???" / "i Know right!!!" sort of conversation and Rachel gives them a good ten minutes or so of that before finally being like "btw you know i'm never letting you live this down right."

and Max's homework Still didn't get finished. rip.

that's my vision thank u for coming to my tedtalk shdfsghj

10: Describe their first date.

okay in my fever-addled apf heart of hearts i'd want sneaking into the pool to be their first date.

Max (being Max) is like Ah Yes, This is Normal Third Wheel Behavior. All Platonic Here. What Date. but then Rachel makes a comment about it at some point and Chloe doesn't say anything to the contrary and Max is like "wait hold on am i actually on a date with you right now"

and Rachel has to be all, "Max, babe, we're swimming in our underwear. alone. after hours. Chloe's had her hands on your waist for like five minutes. we've been flirting with you all night. i've been thinking about kissing you for weeks. girl where have You been."

and then Chloe says, "Oh that's just Max. Don't worry about it, I've been at it for years." or something along those lines

and Max is there short circuiting looking back at them like

[cheatingwifelover]

Our yard guy. Lucas, is a hunter. I hunted in my younger days but in my old age I'm too sentimental to kill any animals. Sometimes when he's taking a break from mowing we talk about shooting. I've been wanting to try some target shooting on a 1,000 yard range but there aren't any I'm aware of near where we live.

Lucas told me about one in the Boerne area and one near DFW. I decided to spend a couple days at the one in the Boerne area and made reservations. My wife didn't want to put our dogs in the kennel to watch me shooting so she decided to stay home.

Off I went with my Ruger Precision Rifle. My plan was to leave early in the morning, do some shooting in the afternoon, spend the night, and drive home after shooting on the second day. I enjoyed the shooting but I missed my wife. On the rare occasions I'm staying overnight somewhere without my wife I call her and we talk on the phone before calling it a night.

I called home that night around 10 PM. No answer. I figured she might be out walking the dogs, or taking a shower, so I left a message for her to call me back. When I hadn't heard from her by 11 PM I called home again. Still no answer. At this point I felt the worry creep in. We hadn't been separated much in our decades long marriage and this was the first time my wife did not either call me herself or answer the phone when I was on an overnight trip.

I started calling every half hour. Every 30 minutes felt like an eternity. I didn't know what to do. I was worn out from the afternoon and fell asleep around 3AM. When I woke up about an hour later There was still no word from her. I tried calling with increasing frequency. I had a drink to relax, then another and another until I once again fell asleep.

I woke again at about 930 AM and checked my phone. There was a message from my wife. I'd had my ringer on vibrate and hadn't heard it. The timestamp on the message was 8:06 AM. She apologized for missing my call and said she was tired and going to bed, and that we could talk when I got back.

When I got back that evening she apologized again, said she didn't know what came over her, but she wasn't in the mood to talk about it. She told me I needed to give her some time. I'd learned over the years that pressing her was not only useless but could also be quite counterproductive so I just let it drop. It took almost a month and a lot of alcohol before she was ready to talk and I was glad I'd waited.

“So where we you when I called,” I asked her when she finally told me she was ready to talk.

“I was with Orin and Tony” was her surprising reply. I wrote about Orin and Tony in “Young Lust,” posted a few months ago, referring to them as O and T.

I immediately grasped the implications and felt my cock starting to harden in anticipation of what I was about to hear.

“What does being with Orin and Tony mean exactly,” I queried? “With them where, how? All night?”

“They took me out and then we went to a motel room.”

I was actually trembling a little when I asked “did you fuck them again?”

“We didn't go to a motel for Bible Study,” she quipped rather snarkily. “Of course we fucked, you're my husband not my owner.”

I had a raging hard on at this point, and out came my cock.

“Come on baby,” I coaxed, “tell me everything. I need to hear details. Don't hold anything back.”

Apparently, Tony had been unable to keep that first time with him and Orin and my wife to himself and had mentioned it to Lucas. Orin was embarrassed when Lucas asked him if it was true that the two of them had fucked my wife.

“Was your friend Tony bullshitting me or did the two of you really fuck Mrs. D” he asked?

“Fucking Tony,” he replied, “I told him to keep his mouth shut.”

“So it's true then,” said Lucas. “I'd love to get some of that myself, I can't believe you two beat me to it.”

“Well,” he continued, “if you want to try your luck with her again her husband is going to be out of town overnight next week. Let me know how it goes.”

Orin and Tony rang our doorbell at around 730 PM the night I was gone. Orin was holding a bouquet of flowers.

“These are for you Mrs D.” he said. “We heard from Lucas that Mr. D isn't home tonight so we thought we'd see if you'd like to go out to dinner with us. Our treat. Or maybe we could just go for a ride?”

“Where are your scooters,” asked my wife?

“At home tonight,” he said, “my parents finally bought me a car. I just have to pay the insurance/”

“It's sweet of you to ask,” she replied, “but I'm not really dressed to go out anywhere.”

“Please Mrs. D, you've been nice to us and we'd like to do something for you. We can wait while you get ready, or come back later.”

My wife couldn't help but feel flattered that these two young men were basically asking her out on a date at her age. What could it hurt she thought.

“Ok,” she relented. “Why don't you two give me some time to get ready. Come back in about an hour, and it's a date.”

As she got ready she downed a couple martinis feeling like if she was going through with this she needed to have a good buzz on. Even before an hour had elapsed she saw them on the security cameras waiting in the driveway. It was cute she thought, two young men this attentive. She wasn't naive though, she knew what was on their minds, what they really wanted, which was why she needed the martinis. Alcohol relaxed her and made her horny.

When she was finally ready she walked out to their car hoping they'd appreciate her outfit, and of course they did.

Tony couldn't restrain himself, “fuck do you look hot Mrs D” he said as he exited the car to make a place for her in the front seat.

“Well thank you Tony,” she replied, “I was hoping you'd like my outfit.”

“Fuck Mrs D, I love it,” Tony replied, climbing into the back seat. “None of our friends mom's are anywhere near as hot as you are.”

“Flattery will take you places,” my wife said in return.

|”We know a club where they don't check ID's” said Orin as my wife climbed into the passenger seat.

“I thought we were going to dinner,” said my wife. “Now I'm thinking you two just want to get me drunk and fuck me.”

“Sorry, Mrs. D, we were just thinking it was kinda late for dinner now,” said Orin.

“It's ok,” my wife said, “the club sounds like it might be fun. I haven't been clubbing for years, much less with two handsome young men as my escorts.”

She'd already down 3 martinis by the time they picked her up. You know what they say I'd quipped to her in the past, 3 martinis under the table, 4 martinis under the host. My wife joined the two of them one martini away from being under the host.

Sure enough, no one at the club asked for any ID. Orin and Tony ordered drinks for my wife but were careful not to drink much themselves. After another couple martinis my wife behaved very much out of character for her in a public place. She took turns sitting on their laps being fingered and making out with each of them, but no one else in the club really seemed to be paying them much attention.

By midnight my wife needed assistance just getting back to their car.

“Where are we going now” she asked, noticing they weren't headed in the direction of home.

“My parents are home,” said Orin, “so Tony and I got us a motel room. Is that ok Mrs D?”

“Sure,” replied my wife pretty much having accepted where the night was heading when the two of them showed up at the door with a bouquet of flowers asking her out on a date. “But I can't stay all night, I have to get home and let our dogs out.”

“I was surprised to see you two tonight” my wife said once they were in the motel room. “I thought you'd had your fun and were no longer interested.”

“No, “ said Orin, “we've both been wanting to fuck you again but this is the first time we've really had the chance. My parents haven't gone anywhere since the first time.”

“Yeah,” chipped in Tony, “we didn't think you'd want to do anything at your place, and we were afraid to try again with your husband around.”

“When Lucas told me your husband was going to be gone tonight we decided we'd try to see you again,” added Orin.

“Why would Lucas say anything about my husband, does he know what we did?”

“He does,” replied Orin, “Tony couldn't keep his big mouth shut.”

“He wants to fuck you too,” chipped in Tony. “He told Orin he couldn't believe we got you before he did.”

Somehow, thought my wife, it all seems rather disturbing, but she was too drunk at the moment to object or care. My husband is away and I'm in a motel room with two young guys who want to fuck me, so why complain? I'm so horny right now I don't care about anything but getting fucked said her inner monologue.

Tony wrapped his arms around my wife and kissed her. Orin took out his cock and began to stroke it watching the two of them making out. Tony slipped one hand down to unzip his pants and my wife extracted his cock, stroking it as they kissed.

Tony put both his hands on her shoulders and applied pressure to push her down onto her knees.

“Suck my cock,” he told her, “be a good wife and put that hot mouth of yours to work for me.”

Tony was the bigger of the two of them and had the biggest cock. He also was the more aggressive of the two and inclined towards arrogance and swagger, an attitude my wife claims to dislike. I have no doubt that his arrogance was at least partially the product of that fat 8 inch cock that was now poised with its own seeming arrogance in front of my wife's face.

“Come on,” said Tony putting both hands behind her head and pushing his cock to her lips, “swallow that fucking cock.”

She was aware of Orin behind them stroking his cock, enjoying the show, even though she couldn't see him. She opened her mouth and did as requested, swallowing that big cock until Tony's balls were pressing against her chin. He relaxed his grip on her head but used both hands to guide her mouth up and down, bouncing his balls on her chin with each stroke.

“Fuck yes,” Tony said to Orin, “look at this fuckin' slut swallow cock. The bitch has zero gag reflex.”

From “Mrs D,” to “bitch,” and “slut,” she felt an atmospheric change in the room but she didn't let it interfere with her performance. She wrapped her left arm behind Tony for support and used her right hand to squeeze and milk his balls as she sucked on that big flesh pipe, determined to drain those heavy balls.

“Fuck, the slut is going to make me cum,” said Tony, but I want to fuck her. Help me stand her back up Orin.”

They each took an arm and lifted her to her feet. She stood before them in her short black dress, hot thick thighs sexily exposed under flesh colored pantyhose hose, and high-heeled black fuck me boots. Tony had resisted the urge to fuck her in the car even before they got to the club but he was going to satisfy that urge now.

“Oh god I so want to fuck you,” said Tony, lifting her dress and exposing her pussy in crotchless pantyhose.”But first I want to suck on those big tits,” he said, tearing open the top of her dress and just pulling her bra down to get them out.

“God I love your big tits Mrs D,” he told her, sucking first one nipple into his mouth and then the other.

Between the making out and fingering in the club, sucking on his big cock, and now Tony sucking her tits, her pussy was gushing. She couldn't remember the last time her husband had made her this wet, if ever.

Meanwhile, Orin grabbed some astroglide they had left on the nightstand when they'd rented the room earlier in the day. He approached her from behind and felt his friend Tony push his cock into her pussy and start fucking her. Orin generously lubed up his cock with the astroglide and then tossed the rest of it onto the bed.

“Hold her still for a second Tony,” he said, then grabbing her hips, began to slowly push his well lubed cock into her ass.

She froze with surprise and the initial pain of anal penetration.

“Don't move,” pleaded my wife, “let me adjust.”

“Ok, go slow” she said momentarily.

Orin eased his cock in balls deep and said, “I'm in her all the way. Fuck is her ass tight. Go ahead Tony, fuck her.”

My wife wrapped her arms around Tony's neck, kissing him deeply as the two boys began to establish a rhythm. Now that the initial pain of anal penetration had dissipated she shuddered in pleasure at the sensation of the two of them pushing into her at the same time. The pressure of two cocks thrusting into her was simply exquisite. She felt like she was being hoisted into mid-air by young cock. She'd always enjoyed anal sex, or at least tolerated it, but with a cock in her cunt at the same time she remember how good it felt and wondered why she hadn't indulged it more frequently?

She felt Orin behind her turning her head away from Tony, wanting to kiss her. It was a little awkward but she kissed him back as best she could then turned back to Tony. The lust these two young men expressed for her ignited her own passion, deepened by a pending explosion of pleasure she felt about to overwhelm her. She was glad she hadn't gone with her husband but she felt a brief flicker of guilt at the thought before returning herself completely to the moment.

She suddenly felt Orin wrap his arms over her shoulders and push her body down into him. He thrust up on his tiptoes trying to push every millimeter of his cock into her ass. She could feel his body shudder and knew he was about to cum.

“Oh fuck,” he exclaimed....”oooohhhhhh....fuck” and she felt his cock pulsating and emptying into her.

She had been trying to hold back, to extend sensation as long as possible, but Orin cumming as he did pushed her over the edge and she was unable to contain the explosion. She saw light flashing behind her eyes and felt momentarily like she might pass out.

Oh my god,” she cried out, “oh my god,” feeling her whole body flooded with wave after wave of orgasmic bliss.

Orin pulled his cock out of her with an audible “plop” and settled back, practically falling into the chair behind him. Tony wasn't done yet and continued pumping his cock into her married pussy with increasing vigor. He turned her around and began backing her towards the bed as he fucked her.

His cock never entirely left her cunt as he re-positioned her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. He reached up and squeezed her big tits, and then started sucking her nipples, first one, then the other, alternating continuously as he fucked her.

She felt another orgasm building. As Tony continued pistoning into her and working her tits with hands and mouth, she reached down between their bodies and fingered her clit. She thought she'd felt Tony cum in her but he didn't get soft or stop pumping that big cock into her so she wasn't sure. She came again and just laid there as his cock kept sawing into her.

She was aware of Orin approaching and was surprised to hear him tell Tony to turn her so that her head was at the edge of the bed.

“Help me with her then,” said Tony, “I don't want to stop fucking her.”

Between the two of them they managed to move her into the desired position without Tony having his cock slip from her pussy.

“Again already,” she asked Orin, looking up at his hard cock hovering over her face.

“We both took some Viagra before we left the club,” he replied to her surprise. “We didn't know when we'd get another chance like this with you and didn't want to waste a minute of it.”

She didn't know whether she should feel flattered or used, but in the moment wondered if it really mattered.

Getting her head just right over the edge of the bed Orin bent his knees slightly, placing his cock against her mouth.

“Suck my cock Denise,” he told her, using her name for the first time.

He'd always called her Mrs D before and she didn't realize he even knew her name. There was something about it that seemed to make it feel more intimate, narrowing the gap between them, and yet at the same time a little threatening.

“Oh yeah, that's it” he told her as he pushed his cock into her throat. “I've missed this mouth Denise, I've never met another girl who can suck a cock like you do.”

He called her a girl. Was that a good thing or a bad thing she wondered? As Tony continued to fuck her pussy Orin now fucked her throat, pushing into her until his balls were pressing against her nose. Not pulling all the way back each time but keeping most of his cock in her warm mouth then pushing back all the way into her throat.

Tony had never stopped pumping into her, never gone soft, but she thought she had felt him cum in her two or three times without slowing down. Now Orin seemed renewed and kept plunging his cock into her mouth and throat until her jaws ached. She fully understood what it meant to be spit roasted. She felt like meat on a spit but there was something about the idea of it, of her, a married woman three times their age taking cock like this, that overcame with lust any doubts or reservations.

She wanted to be the “girl” of their sexual fantasies, to be the unforgettable female they would savor the memory of for their entire lives, and she threw herself even more completely into the moment and into the night. They need not worry about having another chance with her, she'd make it happen, and she'd get her cuckold husband to help. Not help sexually, but to help create the opportunity for her to enjoy them like this again.

Orin interrupted her reverie by pulling his cock out of her mouth and dangling his balls over her lips.

“Suck my balls Denise,” he told her.

She took his heavy balls into her mouth and sucked on them, something she had never done for me, and the idea of it increased her arousal. She felt him pushing down with his cock as she sucked, apparently trying to get it into her mouth at the same time. She opened her mouth as wide and she could and heard him moan as she managed to get both his balls and his cock into her warm wet mouth.

“Oh fuck that's good,” he moaned. “Suck it, fuck, I'm gonna cum,” he said, and pushed in with his cock just as he erupted down her throat.

She didn't miss a drop and neither did she stop sucking on his cock and balls. He never softened. Maybe she could make him cum again like that she though and decided she would try. Tony was still sawing his big cock into her cunt. She didn't want the night to end. She kept hearing her cell phone ringing in her purse. She knew it had to be her husband calling like he did whenever he spent a night away but she didn't care. Good cock had to come before good husbands.

“Let's change up,” said Tony. “Let's DP the slut again, and this time I want that ass.”

Orin got on the bed and Tony helped my drunk wife straddle him. She guided his cock into her married cunt and he pulled her down to suck her big tits which were hanging out of her dress.

“If Lucas was here we could make this bitch airtight,” said Tony, climbing onto the bed behind her.

“Maybe next time,” said Orin.

Tony picked up the astroglide Orin had earlier thrown on the bed and lubed his cock to fuck my wife up the ass.

“Oh my fucking god,” he said as he pushed his big cock into her ass. “This shit is fucking tight. I was wasting my time in the slut's cunt.”

“You belong to us now Denise,” said Tony as he fucked my wife up the ass. “We won't be waiting so long to have you next time.”

At some point everything became a blur. Memory faded. She woke up between them and looked at her watch. Fuck, almost 8 AM. Her husband must be worried and near panic. She shook Orin awake.

“You have to take me home,” she said, “right now, if you ever want to do this again.”

[mcalhenwrites]

Some personal stuff below.

This trip... I knew it wouldn't be great. I wasn't looking forward to seeing my parents, I just missed my dog so much. I thought it would be nice to go to a couple of familiar places as well, like a wildlife exhibit and a couple of parks, before I left. Unfortunately, my dad had no problems jumping in and telling me to "shut up" or shushing me for no reason. Degrading me in front of people whenever he had the chance to boast about it. Misgendering and deadnaming me constantly. He even uses my dead name to EXCESS just to use it. He made me cry once. He has lied countless times. He gaslit my mom (only to slip up and admit that he was given the information she was making up by the same person by saying, "Oh well he didn't go with that bc [reason].") So tomorrow morning is likely the last time I ever see my dog in person. I came back and he had gained weight - which in his case is extremely bad for his back legs - due to barely ever getting walks. He had long nails, and I couldn't get an appointment until Saturday so I gave my mom the money and made the appointment. She keeps saying she doesn't need money for him. It doesn't help that my parents are extremely weird and uneducated so my only way to give them money is sending cash or checks via snail mail. And he needed badly groomed, my mom has mostly kept up with this but his back legs were in dire need of attention. I did what I could. Trimmed the parts that are rough from having to be shaved from hot spots - yes I know you don't shave a doublecoated dog but the VETS did it for a medical reason - and around his butt. Got his mats cut or combed out. He's a big fluffy guy now. But what happens down the road? I can't take him. I have worked myself to full capacity so much, and I can't get myself out of this trap. I'm not good enough to sell many books or earn patrons. So I'm stuck. I let myself have a little bit of money to buy some of my own things so my roommate doesn't cover them and give myself a few small treats here and there so I don't go mad. But most of my pay goes to saving for a car so I can keep my job, since I'm getting rides from three different people, and my roommate (one of my rides) owns an electric car that barely makes it to both our workplaces. Its battery drains faster in cold weather. I have a time limit before I might have to quit my job. (Again, I work two towns over and live in the country.) I'm so sad I don't have a house. I'm so sad I don't have a yard for my dog. I'm so sad I don't have income above $700/month. I don't know what to do. Sell books? I thought I'd work on writing during the time I visited, but this house is in poor condition, and it smells badly of mold, and I think that's flaring my fibro. I'm in so much pain, I started having pain in my heels again when that went away about four weeks after I moved out of state and never came back again. Until now. :/ I'm not sure what to do. I'm a failure. That's clearer every fucking day. I understand we are often powerless to change our situations, but... mine feels like it's my fault. I shouldn't have gotten a dog 10 years ago. It's not like I'm dealing with something beyond my control... I cause more bad than good in this world, that's how it feels. Edit: I will be very glad to return home, that's for sure.

[ivebeenmade]

A couple of months ago I was walking my dog, Freddie Fahrenheit (a play on a Queen song as a nod to Freddie Mercury of course), somewhere around 10pm. I live in a trailer park in a quiet New England town. Like it or not, you know your next door neighbors. And tbh, I don't really like it. But it is what it is.

One of the 3 closest trailers is home to a single dad and his preteen daughter. This guy spends all of his free time gardening. When I say that walking through his front yard (we live across from his backyard) is like walking into The Secret Garden. Absolutely beautiful all year long.

So he's a bit of a distance from me even though we can directly see into each other's back yards because he's technically *next* to my next door neighbor on the opposite side. They share a path that goes straight into my front yard, that's the vegetable garden.

So me and the dog walk beside that little garden-perfect view of the moonlight. The sky was alight but not very bright. One of his tallest trees looks at first like it's being blown by the wind. Then it looks like it's being shaken. Which at first was mildly amusing to me. Then there's an odd af edge to one side of the tree.

The 'edge' splits in two.

There's something long with four appendages...and when I say something I mean the whole middle of it is too thin and *sharp*. It shakes and moves in the same direction I am moving behind the dog, both of us heading forward towards our parking lots.

I quietly encourage my dog to finish his sniffs quickly, and we head toward the house. The whole time I am feeling more than seeing, because I feel in my very bones that there's an 'understanding' that I shouldn't look right at it.

Now, if you live in a crowded neighborhood you know what I mean when I say that I KNOW the way this acquaintance sounds when he whistles. I hear it several times a day. If you leave the house, this man is at work, with his kid, or WHISTLING in his gardens.

He whistles. A short burst. Kind of like a guy realizing he's just scared a woman he barely knows in the middle of the night, probably, I think. Then everything is eerily quiet.

Suddenly, just like I'm sure our ancestors have known for all the history of mankind, I know I must run. And so me and Freddie Fahrenheit, we run.

I got us inside, slammed the door, locked it and tried not to scream. I kept watching the tiny sliver of glass that is the window at the top of our front door. I feel like someone is looking right back at me. Like the feeling when you're a kid playing hide and seek and they've fucking caught you.

Just as well as I know the sound of my neighbor's whistle, I know that was not what I heard.

[strawberrydykke]

feeling pretty weird today guys!!

got the puppy. she's really cute.

tw suicide

my mom tried to kill herself again and this time she's going into a residential center and will be there for at least a month. her husband bought her a new dog to replace the dog that they fucking abandoned on a mountain. I was able to obtain the dog under false pretenses but i have her. Ideally I would like to find her a new home but that is legally complicated so I am hoping that my mom will just agree that she's not competent to care for a dog right now. otherwise i'm not sure what i'll do.

I feel really weird. I'm glad I have the dog. I'm not super stoked about puppy raising because it is a lot of work. I miss my dog and I hope he's okay out there somewhere. I have a random assortment of this dog's things and one of my dog's toys was in there. Which just feels so wrong. How do you live with yourself knowing you did something unforgivable to a dog. How do you live with yourself knowing you did that and then get a new fucking dog???? How do you live with yourself knowing you did that, and then get a new dog, and then keep reminders of the old dog that you fucking abandoned around?????

The dog herself is really sweet. My mom claimed she has a lot of behavioral issues but my mom just doesn't know jack shit about raising a puppy. She's not potty trained yet, but since I've been vigilant and know what signs a dog shows when they need to go, she hasn't had an accident inside (yet.) Lots of praise when she does go to the bathroom and she enjoys exploring around our little yard. I feel pretty confident that she will be potty trained soon. She has very mild separation anxiety, just a little bit of whimpering. We left her in the bathroom overnight because we don't have a crate yet and she didn't try to chew on the walls or door or anything lol. She's motivated to do tricks but she doesn't know anything other than sit, and she doesn't understand me trying to teach her new things yet lol. She's a real sweetheart and a lap dog, after eating breakfast, exploring the backyard, attempting to learn some tricks, a tiny bit of playing, and pooping, she's now taking a nap in my lap.

I have pretty much no information about her though. She's a purebred eskie, and she's female. No idea how old, other than that she's a puppy. Maybe 12 weeks old? She's allegedly gone to the vet for vaccinations twice but I called by mom's usual vet and they have no record of her. I'm trying to find out what vet my mom did use, IF she actually has been to the vet, but we might just have to start the vaccination series over. Which would suck. No idea if she's microchipped.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Heart’s Choice - Chapter 29 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

John checks in on me in the morning via text.

I spend the day at the library, taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi and looking for a new place to live.

I can't imagine my garage will be usable again any time soon and who knows what will happen to the property, now that Lucille is dead.

In the meantime, I try not to think about John and his confession or the questions that went along with it.

Did I love him, too?

Did I even know what love felt like?

I knew it when I saw it, like I saw it between Ian and Sam but I wasn't sure I'd ever experienced it myself, at least, until now.

But where was the line between like and lust and true love?

How did I know what I felt for John wasn't just shallow attraction?

Or some vampire mate-bond shit?

We were compatible in bed, at least, that was something and he was easy to live with.

I think back on the week I spent at his house.

I liked him and I liked his dogs, I liked his sense of humor 'on the occasions he relaxed enough to let it out' and I liked the way he made me feel, like I was someone worth the effort and worth caring about.

And yeah, I want him to kiss me again, I want him to do a lot more, too.

The attraction between us is undeniable.

But if I could never touch him again, would I still want his company?

I decide that I would and maybe that's the difference.

I don't just love John's body or the things he does to mine...

'I love John.'

Maybe what 'love' means can change over time, too.

A couple who've been together for fifty years probably aren't 'in love' the same way they were when they first met but they may love each other none the less.

Whether we would get the chance to find out if our 'love' could stand the test of time remained to be seen and largely depended on John's ability to restrain himself and not literally love me to death.

In the meantime, his confession deserved a reply.

After steeling my nerves and rehearsing in my head, I call him.

"John Turner's phone. Becky Wu speaking."

I choke on whatever I was going to say.

"Hello?"

"Uh... Hi, Becky. This is... that guy you saw at John's house. Carlos. Is John there?"

"Oh, hi, Carlos," Becky giggles.

"Sorry, he's in the shower. Can I take a message?"

My head swirls with reasons why John would be in the shower and Becky would be at his house, most of which don't make sense.

"No. Just tell him I called and to call me back."

"Sure thing. He's been telling about this case you're on. Sounds like a real head-banger."

"Head-banger?"

"Yeah, you know. Makes you wanna bang your head on your desk."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess it does."

I thought she meant a mind-fuck but it's sort of the same thing, anyway.

"For real. First, one or both of the Peters kill Kyle's parents. Then they adopt Kyle. Next, Mr. Peters dies, my theory is he found out and Lucille killed him, John thinks he was the killer and had a guilty conscience, drank himself stupid and fell down the stairs."

Her excitement translates clearly through her tone and I can almost see her counting off the list on her fingers.

"Fast forward to the present and Kyle is killed. Lucille is a suspect but she pays your hospital bills when you're injured. A deflection tactic? But when Kyle's parents' remains are found, Lucille butchers herself in the most bizarre way possible. Oh and to top if off, she left her house to the gardener. What kind of murderer does that?"

"What gardener? Her yard is a disaster."

"Right? And then your only other suspect has an alibi for Daryl Spark's death, if a thin one."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the first part of the night he was working at a bar, that's solid. But the second half he was with some girl and she's the only one who can vouch for that. Believe me, the DA would tear that to shreds like a cat with a ball of catnip spiked tissue paper."

"A girl? Wait, are we talking about Alejo?"

He looked like the sort who'd call you maricón (Sissy) and beat the shit out of you if you looked at him wrong but he couldn't get it up with a girl if he tried.

Or so he'd told me.

"That's according to John," Becky says.

"You'll have to ask him when he calls. I'd wait and talk to you in the meantime but he's taking one of his 'stress' showers. He'll be awhile."

I frown at the idea that Becky knows more about John's habits than I do, even though it's obvious she would.

They may not have been in love but they were married and lived together for much longer than I've known John existed.

Unable to stop myself, I ask the burning question.

"Um... what are you doing there, anyway?"

"Just picking up the dogs. John asked me to take them back for a few weeks while he moves."

"Moves? Moves where?"

"He hasn't told you? I guess this town just doesn't have the right 'vibe' for him or something. He's thinking of taking another position in San Fran. He's got family there, you know."

I try and fail to think of something appropriate to say.

"Hello?"

"Sorry."

I hold the phone away as I cough to clear my throat and remind myself to breathe.

"Uh, no. He hasn't mentioned that."

"Oh. Well... I'll tell him you called."

Becky's tone contains a wince, as if she's wondering if she's inadvertently said too much.

"Thanks. Um... and give Rick and Morty some belly rubs from me. I'm gonna miss those two."

"Sure thing, Carlos. Bye."

She ends the call.

I stare at my phone.

Then I pull up Alejo's number and call him.

He knows the shit on just about everyone, in certain circles, anyway and he might know something about this 'gardener.'

Moreover, I want to know about this 'girl' because if Alejo was lying about his alibi, then we've still got a solid suspect on the line.

He answers on the first ring, barely giving me a chance to second-guess myself.

"Pendejo? (Fool) Que va! (No way) I thought you were dead or something."

"Oh? Is that why you never bothered to call me after I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my arm?"

"What?" Alejo laughs.

"That Cabrón (Bastard) didn't tell you? I rode to the hospital with you. I was there the whole way. Then he showed up and told me to fuck off. You didn't tell me you were serious with nobody."

"I'm... I'm not," I say, swallowing.

"That guy... doesn't know what he's talking about. We're not together."

"Oh. So, you free tonight?"

Wow. Right to it, then.

"Yeah. That's why I called."

He chuckles, a low, soft sound that sends an unpleasant shiver up my spine.

"Come to the bar. I'm on shift until ten. Then we can have some fun."

"I'll be there."

"Can't wait."

He makes a kissing sound that makes me cringe and hangs up.

I grab my wallet and keys and head for the door.

I've lost my home and my business. My aunt 'and only living family member' is missing and the only man I've ever loved has decided I'm not worth the effort, after all.

What else have I got to lose?

[thewanderingace]

HOOOOLY SHIT!!! Okay this is long bit the craziest shit just happened and I gotta put it all somewhere so story time!

Basically Fourth of July is the fucking worst and people are INSANE!

God I really hate this fucking holiday. So much. It's nearly Independence Day here in the US (July 4th) which means everyone sets off fireworks in their front yards for a week. I hate it. They terrify my dog and I live in the fucking suburbs so an errant firework means my house could catch on fire. They're dangerous. They're loud. They're ILLEGAL. But it doesn't stop tons of asshole from buying profession grade fireworks every year.

Tonight they're going off around me. All directions but far enough away that its quiet enough that my dog can't hear them and my house is safe.

Until a giant explosion goes off in front of my fucking house.

Scared the SHIT out of me and now my dog is screaming in fear. Me, my family, and basically all of my neighbors ran outside to see who the fuck set if off. There's smoke everywhere but we can't tell who set it off.

But this one neighbor who lives across the street from me comes running out of his house, screaming and swearing. Shouting "WHO THE FUCK SET THAT OFF!! WHO THE FUCK WAS IT!!" He's starts threatening and keeps screaming and then he levels his accusations at my next door neighbor because the majority of the smoke is in front of his house (consequently it's also in front of his own house since they live directly across from each other.) All of my neighbors and us are like dude you need to chill out. We're upset too but this level of aggression is ridiculous. He just keeps yelling.

And this is even more ridiculous because my next door neighbor, someone we who have been here a while know very well and who has dogs and would never shoot off fireworks because he has a brain, he was literally pulling out of the driveway when it happened. And he starts telling the guy to calm down. Aggressive dude keeps yelling he's gonna call the cops and yadda yadda. Then goes inside. The rest of us are standing outside like "what the fuck!?" He then comes back out and yells some more and tries to get us all involved and we're like "we're not gonna fight with you dude! Calm down!"

Let's skip ahead. We're all back inside but keeping an eye on things from our front door. About 15 minutes later the girl who lives there pulls up and parks on the street. She sits there for like 5 minutes. Then aggressive dude comes out and yells something's I didn't catch and then yells at her for having the dog outside without a leash on. They go inside and leave the car on.

Oh but it's not over yet! Fast forward about 10 minutes. I'm still inside still trying to calm my dog down when a car pulls up in front of aggressive dudes house. Aggressive dude comes flying out of his house, pounds on the dudes window, screaming "DON'T YOU FUCKING COME BACK HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I watch this car then speed away. Less than a minute it's back, pulls up out front and the girl comes outside and hops in and they drive off.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

My two next door neighbors and us all gathers on our porch to chat and at first we thought that dude set it off but then me and neighbor M think it was the family about 4 houses down. M saw them last year setting off fireworks in the same area. Right under the street light. It was mostly likely them again and they ran when it went off and we all came outside. M also saw them standing in front of their house when we came out.

Anyways, this holiday is the fucking WORST and I wish I lived alone on an island.

[peachychubbycheeks]

you know ... I'm kinda getting use to using this account as if it were my cyber journal/diary so I guess I can write this here

for the most longest time I've been friends with this girl that is currently dating a guy I used to date ...

our relationship was short lived because he was younger then me and very short tempered and stubborn (not to mention he was also very ignorant and everything had to abide by his own way of thinking and his own rules and values) we only dated for a couple of weeks, maybe 6, kinda don't remember the details but omfg he was a huge pain in my ass. After those 6 months that I broke up with him I felt better and thought I'd never talked to him again but I guess that wasn't the case; my brother came home silent as hell which most times he wouldn't cause i remember he would come home and always greeted me with a smile or just a dumb joke but he was too quite. I went to his room and asked if he was okay; he told me he was fine. At the same time i remember my friend (let's call them JD) writing on Twitter "omg what have I done" and "why did I go there" and obviously by the time I was putting 2 and 2 together. after prying and asking him what's wrong he finally told me that he saw my friend and the guy I broke up with kissing in there room and he was so shocked that he screamed "WHAT THE FUCK" ngl that was funny as hell thinking about it but by that time my heart sank

shit ... my closest friend was making out with someone I used to date. what the actual fuck.

I confronted her about it and she told me she was sorry about it and that it wouldn't happen again ... or so I thought

I live in PR where mostly the island is full of beaches and tourist attractions and we decided (my cousin, bother and my other 2 friends, JD was involved) to go to Cabo Rojo (far from where we are). I was excited because it was something different for a change. while we were there I felt as if JD was acting strange, she was walking away from the group alot, hiding her phone, and messaging someone. I was a little skeptical but I kinda didn't mind it so much attention. after we left and such ... I remember seeing a contact on her phone written "100 X tu seras mi bb" which translates to me You will forever be my baby. my stomach dropped again.

"No .... it can't be."

I asked her who it was and she told me it was a inside joke that her and a friend of hers had and she put the contact there favorite song.

weird but okay

days later I would see her posting on her whatsapp stories photos of a guy but only his back but the place they were in seemed oddly familiar ... the chinese restaurant I took my last date to (we'll call him E)

I asked her again, she told me it was an Asian guy she would stalk sometimes at the restaurant ... creepy but okay, bet.

then she posted another picture of E front porch, shit at this point it was so obvious ... but I just wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt or at least tell me the truth. I asked her "... where is that." her response

that's my uncles back yard.

... sure

the last straw was when I was scrolling facebook ... and there it was, E's profile, I went into it and what did you know, JD, my friend, was following him

I was shitting bricks at the moment, fuck, I felt like shit, like straight out dog caca, and I showed it to my cousin (she was her best friend btw) and she stood silent. that same day we were gonna go out with her but I didn't feel like bringing up the topic ... even though it was noticeable in the way I would talk (I would stutter) also my hands were sweaty af.

the next day I asked her by phone, if they were dating, she went silent and told me that yes, they were indeed going out. for a year now by that time. and I decided that to let go of the friendship.

funny, by that time I felt guilty for doing something totally "selfish", at least I thought by that time but it was perfectly justified and reasonable.

a year past by and between everything going on I felt like I had to forgive her and pass the page but to be totally honest I should've never have done so.

up till today I have so much remorse and regret that I let her back into my life. all the comments she's made till this day making us (me especially) feel bad for "outting her" and for "leaving her" don't make sense to me, also the back handed comments she always gives me, the moments I've opened up to her about my dating life and her telling her boyfriend, E, about my short comings with some of them

I think it's best to keep some distance for now ... and actually live my life without her knowing every aspect about it.

she did tell me that she doesn't want me or my cousin to talk badly about her boyfriend as a boundary ... I think it's time I do the same for myself too. set some boundaries for her to respect. If she doesn't want to then bye 👋

[shdwtouch]

Whats aomething your pet(s) do? Are they smart?

so, I have a cat, my emotional support animal, Gambit ! and then we / my mom has dogs, siblings Bruin and Sedona, and a corgi named Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein. my sister also has cats, Purrlock Holmes and Meowdame Leota. I'm just gonna list off some facts about all of them, because I love all of them. XD

facts about Leota !

she adores her brother, Purrlock. she literally has a shrine dedicated to him under my sisters desk. like. his old collars, his favorite toys, a little drawing of him (I'm not fucking joking, it's a drawing on a wine cork my sister got at an art faire).

she is the sweetest, quietest, most polite cat I have ever met

facts about Purrlock !

he looks like a little cow. he eats like one too XD

he would sell you to satan for one (1) treat

facts about Ulrich !

he is the BIGGEST diva. sometimes he refuses to eat unless he is spoon fed. he refuses to jump down from locations he jumped onto and acts like he can't get down without help. thinks hes bigger than he is and tries to act like it. he sometimes refuses to climb the back stairs and must be carried indoors like a baby. he is also very judgmental.

he is terrified of Leota, but fine with the other cats XD

one time he got stuck on our porch because his way was blocked and he couldn't back up. after saving his sorry little butt, he did it again.

facts about Sedona !

she hates my guts. why ? because she doesn't like leashes, medication, or going places she does not want to go... and I was responsible for doing all that. now my sister handles it, thankfully. I love the dog, she just hates me. :c

acts stupid, is actually very smart

she would sell you to satan for one (1) ear rub

gassy. poor baby has some digestion issues unfortunately :c but we do what we can for her. we can always tell she isn't feeling good because she gets grumpy, but then I get grumpy too when my stomach doesn't feel good so.

facts about Bruin !

my favoritest boy (don't tell Gambit XD)

he is the sweetest, most stupid dog you will ever meet. we live in the country and are surrounded by cow fields. one time, when he was still pretty young, he got out and came back with a gash in his head. vet says a cow most likely kicked him. :c even though he was already pretty sweet and derpy before that, I like to joke that everything changed after "the accident". poor guy.

he thinks cows are his friends. "cows" is his trigger word I s2g. you say cows and his ears perk up, he gets so excited, its adorable. he just sits outside and watches them. also ? every day, around 6 pm, he goes out to the side yard and barks at the cows in our neighbors field. idk why, I think that's when they get fed so they move to that side of the field ? but without fail, he's out there barking.

he has excited tail syndrome. the kind of dog that wags their tail and their whole body just starts wiggling and shaking. he's adorable.

facts about Gambit !

is literally screaming at me right now

only drinks cold water, but he does not like ice

a cuddle baby. he's literally such a loving baby boy, I love him.

thinks hes tough. is not actually tough.

thinks he's gonna inherit my stuff when I die, so he keeps trying to kill me (joking)

thinks he's cute (he is cute) but he needs to be constantly reminded

does NOT !! like kisses

is in a situationship with Purrlock, thinks its Leota

and now to answer the "are they smart" portion of this question. Sedona and Ulrich ? they act stupid but we know they are smart. Bruin is as dumb as they come, unfortunately, but he makes up for it by being incredibly sweet. Purrlock and Gambit have a single brain cell each, and fight over the third to make fire. Leota has all the cat brain cells but dedicates them solely to loving on her brother.

[stormstruck-angel]

vent post

we think the guy who lives behind is beating his dog. we made a report to the RSPCA yesterday after like. 2 weeks of awkward tiptoeing around whenever we heard it. we can't see anything from the house because of the back fence that separates our yards and the trees planted along it. but we can hear the dog yelping and screaming and the fucking. sound of the impact. the fact that we can HEAR this. it's as loud as the dog crying is. it never goes on for long. like less than a minute. but it's happened multiple times a week for the last few weeks. nobody really knows what to do. we're too scared to go up to the fence to see what's happening, or check on the dog, or to confront him about it, because a guy who beats his dog for what appears to be no reason feels equally like a guy who would hit a person for the same, and he knows where we live. he has a partner and kids - there's a small trampoline in the backyard that they played on all Christmas, and we hear them playing in the pool sometimes. about 20 minutes ago I heard the dog SCREAM and the loudest impact sound yet. I broke down shaking and crying in the bathroom because I could hear it from my bedroom and seriously considered storming up to the fence to ask him what the fuck he's doing. I don't know what else we can do. we have a dog. she's reactive and on so many anxiety medications and hates every other dog except her best friend. she's so smart, and loves playing hide and seek, and loves her owners SO much. this whole situation hurts.

[homunculus-argument]

Okay imagine you're mutuals with someone on Tumblr who'll occasionally say weird shit about their dog. This isn't the main theme of their blog or anything, there's dog posts peppered between their normal posts, and besides posts about the dog doing almost normal dog things like chewing through a wall, shitting on the wrong yard, or wanting to bite people he doesn't like, there's occasionally a post about how the dog has been living off pretty much nothing but grass all week. A concerned comment prompts conversation like

"um I know you're probably exaggerating but you really shouldn't let a dog eat that much grass?? he'll get sick from it." "uh no he's not?? he's fine, my aunt's dog eats almost nothing but grass and it's the healthiest dog I've ever seen??" "I don't know what's wrong with your aunt our her dog but that's going to mess up a dog's digestive system, they can't possibly consume that much grass and be able to throw up all of it, not to speak of trying to digest it." "Ok now I know you have no fucking idea what you're even talking about. Dogs can't throw up."

This goes back and forth. Bystanders start joining in, one side making wild claims about what dogs can and can't do, and the other side joins in agreeing that these claims are bat shit insane. Both clearly defined parties agree that the other side is out of their goddamn minds. In the end they all come to the agreement that at least one faction here doesn't even know what a dog is. OP is requested to show us a picture of their dog, and the request is promptly granted. They share a picture of a horse.

The people who argued all along that dogs can't eat a hay bile or kick through a wall quickly swarm in to point out that that is, indeed, not a fucking dog. Everyone who insists it's a dog argues that of course it's a dog, that's literally what a dog is, everyone they know who has a dog has a dog that's exactly like that. Someone brings up the wikipedia page of 'dog', which defines 'dog' as "a domesticated canine descended from the wolf", and points out that these animals are not it by any fathomable way.

The side that keeps insisting that they're dogs starts scoffing and rolling their eyes like oh right, now you're just moving goalposts, of course we were supposed read your mind and assume that you were only using the elistist ~european~ definitions of dog, that nobody else could fucking live up to.

The this-is-not-a-dog faction is baffled, trying to correct them and say no, this is not an "european" thing, that's literally the definition of a dog. That's what the whole rest of the planet calls a "dog". It's just you guys who are weird.

The other side scoffs again, dismissing this as their opposite political party's insidious propaganda.