#and the cub ones are fucking insane but no one SAYS SHIT they are just THAT deadpan with delivery

[chipjrwibignaturals]

guys when are we gonna talk about what the fuck is up with cubfan enjoyers btw

[gumy-shark]

ok gumy, i actually would like some more elaboration in this moon big season such as:

The cults, what the fuck is up with that?

something, something bdubs’ last stand as the moon crash down on him (bc almost every king tag in the last 101 mentioned that and my ears are perked up)

the graphic of the moon crashing into world looks so pretty where we’re you when this happened 🎤 ?

hehehe you’ve fallen into my trap >:D

THE CULTS:

there were at least two cults formed in response to the moon big: the Mooners and the Order of Octa.

the Mooners cult was formed by mumbo jumbo at the end of november. mumbo believed that the moon was angry because hermits kept sleeping to skip through the night, so he gathered the other members of boatem village (impulse, pearl, scar, and grian), and they and cubfan135 all decided to stop sleeping in hopes of appeasing the moon.

as they went longer and longer without sleeping, the mooners got a little. silly. and by silly i do mean insane. their skins got more disheveled, eventually turning out to look like this

(in order: grian, mumbo, scar, impulse, cub, and pearl. i know you aren’t v familiar with these guys and what they normally look like, but i think you can get the picture)

the mooners even resorted to human sacrifice to try and appease the moon, but nothing worked. eventually they gave up, tried (and failed) to blow up the moon with a missile, and started sleeping again.

the other cult i don’t remember as much about. the Order of Octa, comprised of rendog and docm77, had been doing an ARG all season, which culminated in them getting a little bit possessed, shaving their heads into monk tonsures, and going around beheading people while chanting their names. for their finale, they gathered all the heads together and input a code? i think? that opened up a portal out of the simulation that was season 8 (note: the season being a simulation is only canon in ren and doc’s storyline)

BDUBS’ STORY:

okay yeah this one’s pretty tragic. for bdubs’ finale, he rides his horse around the server, collects the profits from his shops, business as usual. except the moon is giant, the ground is basically disintegrating underneath him, and for the large majority of his episode there’s just nobody there. he doesn’t seem afraid of the moon or the chaos at all, instead spending the whole time talking about how everyone’s leaving, so that means that really, all this stuff is his now! how fortunate for him!

all his friends are already gone. his only companions at this point are his horse and his pet parrot. he does his usual outro, saying goodbye to his audience and telling us he’ll see us in the next episode! and then he turns around, and the animation of the moon crashing into the server plays- it is clear from the animation that he could not have survived the impact.

that on its own is sad, but what kicks it into high gear is tango’s finale. in tango’s final episode of season 8, he’s on the moon trying to figure out a way to knock it back into its usual orbit, and he receives a transmission from bdubs. this message shows bdubs a couple days pre-impact, and he is panicked, yelling about how everything’s going to shit (static cuts off the “shit” part bc this is a pg server) and everything they’ve built is about to be destroyed. as he finishes the message, he urges tango to stay in space, because things are so bad on the ground, and talks about trying to find a way to escape.

in this context, the general consensus/implication of bdubs episode is that he tried to find a way to escape the falling moon, failed, and decided to live out the rest of his hours in total denial before dying in a massive fucking explosion. which is significantly more tragic.

WHERE WAS I WHEN THIS HAPPENED?

in the kitchen. i remember being super excited for new episodes, and then got gut-punched by nearly every hermit i watched uploading their finale at the same time.

[swemory]

Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::

on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.

he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)

(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])

Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..

honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.

OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.

catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.

no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.

but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,

Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.

and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.

mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.

my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.

Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.

out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.

Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.

no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy

gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)

A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. tuesday we did ds9's "til death do us part" and "strange bedfellows" and wednesday we watched voy's "juggernaut" and ds9's "the changing face of evil."

til death do us part (ds9):

going to be real, if my fiance called off the wedding because god told him to and then came to his senses, i'm not sure i'd go with it as easily as kasidy. this isn't even the first time he's made a terrible fumble with her. love and light to sisko cuz he's amazing but she could do better

it's kinda not fair to sisko either because so much of the main cast gets to have love interests with OTHER CAST MEMBERS. kira, odo, jadzia, worf, ezri, bashir, and quark are all fully-fleshed out regulars who gets to fall in love with other fully-fleshed regulars, even if that love is sometimes unrequited. but sisko gets? a side character?

and don't get me wrong, kasidy's cool and all, but i don't know the first thing about her except that she likes baseball, she's independent, and she can't cook. i couldn't tell you the reasons she and sisko work (or don't work!) the way i could with the other ships. the most interesting thing she ever did was get roped up in maquis drama and we forgot about that the next time she showed up and never mentioned it again

also didn't love the worf/ezri in this episode...like, she realizes she's in love with julian because the breen told her so? because he was chasing her in a dream? seems like like if he's chasing her in a dream she's running away from his smothering affections!!! again: least interesting choice

the "counselors interpret dreams" throwback to ezri junior cub scout counselor were also bad.

winn and dukat smooching: traumatizing. i hate win SO MUCH i dont want to watch her smooch anyone!!!!!!

strange bedfellows (ds9):

STAND-OUT EPISODES

the worf/ezri in this one was a lot better. nice and complex. even if they don't get together, as long as it's complex, i'm happy. that said, i wish it wasn't in service of shoehorning a julian/ezri romance in there at the last second, but still

WORF BREAKING WEYOUN'S NECK. and damar immediately like yeah okay time to have an arc. he was so invigorated by the sight of that guy dropping dead (for like the...third? time?) he was motivated to do something with himself. damar's arc with weyoun has been so funny genuinely like. imagine killing this guy and the next day he comes to work and then worf kills this guy and the next day he comes to work and so you're like alright that's it and the first place you hit after you go rogue is the fucking cloning facility. it is SO PERSONAL with damar and weyoun

i really, genuinely enjoyed kai winn's arc in this episode too, which is not anything i ever thought i'd say. like the prophets don't talk to her because they knew one day she'd do all this fucked up shit but she's doing it because they don't talk to her...a child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth etc. this whole time that winn's been a monster it's because the prophets made her that way. and let's not forget the things she did and went through in the occupation - stealing from the religious coffers to buy even just one more life and get them out of the labor camps, taking beatings and watching over prisoners...she did all that while never feeling that connection with her gods, never getting the comfort of that faith that everyone around her had. like of COURSE she isn't going to step down. she and dukat are like because they both need to be liked and what made him insane was putting him in a position where he would inevitably end up being hated but what made HER insane was that she spent her whole long life being ignored. but the pah wraiths talk to her. the pah wraiths make her feel special. finally, someone is listening to her! all she has to do is get in bed with the devil, literally. inSAAANE

juggernaut (voy):

first of all, b'elanna has never looked better

i'm always glad when we get an episode about her where people don't talk down to her about her temper problems. also, she embodies the righteous fury of the evo-terrorist. she and kira would get alone

did i mention b'elanna hot?? i loved watching her beat that guy up with a stick. even though i also felt very bad for him

first likable malon in this episode too. like the guy they worked with. good for him

neelix was so nice to b'elanna in this episode too...idk why but for some reason when he said "nothing a fresh coat of paint couldn't fix!" it really gave me the giggles. love and light to kes but he is SO much better now that kes is gone

chakotay almost getting killed. very fun. he was so dirty when he tried to get out of sickbay. we need more star trek episodes where everyone is just very dirty all the time

the changing face of evil (ds9):

hands down best part of this episode was winn finding out she literally had fucked the devil. MWAH!

i do kind of wish she'd commit. she spent this episode being wishy-washy. girl, you've decided on sacrilege. it's the coolest thing you've ever done. fucking go for it. all that stuff i just said about her downfall being cool is wasted if she doesn't fuckin GO for it

still though she killed that guy. blood on her hands. no going back now girl

even though i don't like ezri/julian it was really funny to have her chilling with worf while he critiqued her taste in men. i do wish she was doing this as a lesbian but at least it was fun

I'M SO SAD ABOUT THE DEFIANT. that's MEAN. she really was such a good ship.

damar hitting the cloning facilities. i know i said so already but it's SO good.

TONIGHT: voy's "someone to watch over me" and ds9's "when it rains..."

[khr-guilded-cage]

Basically Tsuna got kidnapped from the Nursery as a baby, Iemitsu was away on business and blamed Nana, he didn't filled missing people reports because he said Tsuna was probally killed. Iemitsu abandons her alone in the house after that, but they still married. Sawada Nana develops anorexia, insomnia, stress and depression, neglects the house and herself, can barely stay on her feet or walk without fainting, has deep abandonment issues, but remains dreamily obsessed with her perfect family and missing husband.

Nana clearly wants to use Ichigo/Tsuna to fix her broken marriage and broken family, giving her phone call to Iemitsu with her asking when he is coming home to see 'their son' with a edge in her voice (both want pretend nothing bad happened delusional much?), trap him in Namimori. She said it as much, insisting he 'cant leave', 'thats was his home now', 'her son was home and will never leave her sight if she could' and 'she glad Tsu-chan is back home where he belongs' and tells him now his 'father' is finally coming home and they will cook together and be a family again, has a weird fixation in 'cooking for her husband and son'. She has a hysterical attack of panic (saying she is not insane, that its not just a dream) when Ichigo leaves for a school (and before that, when he goes back to his appartement and then orders him to live with her in the Sawada household), coming to his room at night to watch him sleep, and is deeply obsessed and clingly with him. This woman is delusional and in denial, I swear. They need to put her in a mental ward for professional help.

Nana calls him her 'Tsu-chan' and treats him like a small child, seen to ignore the existence of his foster family and expect him to stay with her forever (she didn't think he has a life and school in another town? Already has loving parents? Iemitsu clearly would want 'Tsu-chan' to stay with his 'real family'. I wish Ichigo confronted her like 'no, thats not my name, call me Ichigo or I will not answer to it'/'I already have a father, thank you very much'/ 'I am not staying, just visiting, this is not my home'/Masaki is not my 'adopted' mother, she's my only mother. when she called Reborn after Ichigo explicit told her its scam, don't call him, I wish he was just like...you are not my legal guardian, if you keep refusing to listen to me, I am going to just leave, Nana).

Nana insists Iemitsu is Ichigo's father and he says nothing???

Like...what do mean by 'I cant leave'? I have a life and a family. I am not staying, Nana. And you need a fucking therapist. I would love to see the crazy bitch try to stop him from leaving.

Its not 'better to let her believe what she wants', call that delusional bitch out of her shit, for Tsuna's sake if nothing else. Confront her about Iemitsu and her condition. Ma'am, what the hell. 'I will rip out the neddle and come after you if you don't come back?' Then do it, bitch.

'Going to Italy after finishing Reborn's training'? The Vongola Decimo would be forced to abandon his friends and family (and medical career) to go to Italy. Why no one understand that? Ichigo deserves better. Mafia Boss is a awful job with no freedom, just tons of papework and death, nobody should want that. Ichigo wants to be a Doctor. The author suggest he can...be both? WHAT?

Reborn keep being his annoying bastard self, calling Ichigo Tsu-chan to annoy him and spying on, kick him in the head saying to 'don't tell him what to do', saying he will sleep in Tsuna's room. Ichigo...get out of here. Now. 'Gather the family the Decimo needs' = throw people at him.

Also, Shamal steals a blood sample from the hospital. Still, this author portraits her as a good mother (a lioness protecting her cub? really?) and Vongola as good too. Somehow. Her cute 'mothering' and wanting to 'care' for Ichigo is toxic as hell, but I like her portrait.

I kinda got frustrated at the path this crossover took and I love Adopted!Tsuna and Nana as mental ill, but there are so few of them.

Sawada Nana is a depressed and mental ill woman not suitable to be a mother at all, with a ditzy, naive, idiot and dumb personality, she's a very annoying person with her rose tinted glasses. She needs a firm hand and a wake up to reality. She thinks her Iemitsu-kun is perfect and wants Ichigo to accept him as a father after the bullshit he pulled for all those years? I want a rewrite where people are like 'No, Sawada. He is not staying with you, you are not his mother, he is not abandoning his loving foster family for a delusional crazy woman and her absent drunken husband. He is not here to play dollhouse. You're a fucking bitch.' What kind of woman lets a stranger live in her house? Nana would probally forgot Tsuna inside a hot car. God, I hate that woman as much I pity her.

Did Iemitsu married her just to continue Primo bloodline? Because she is easy to control? Has powerful Flames? Dosed her with Mist or Harmony?

"Ichigo would make a great boss, he acts like a boss should be" No. Being mature and having leadership skills (like the author keep praising Ichigo) won't make him a good Mafiosi of all things. He would not make a good murder/criminal, he would be a wonderful doctor. And where is Xanxus? Ichigo is 17, the Vongola would be searching for a heir already. Also, he clearly deserves peace and a long life (Nono's sons died gruesome deaths), not the Vongola's bullshit. Does he realize he would have to abandon Nana too? His children would be forced to be Unidiecimo and his marriage would be political?

Ichigo won't call Timoteo 'grandfather' or accept Iemitsu as a father. He'd never bow to those greedy arrogant vile men and their plots for his life. If Reborn hits him, he'd hit back harder. I don't think he would get along with Tsuna's Canon Guardians either.

Adopted!Tsuna is free, of Vongola's radar and manipulations, his birth family's bullshit and little dollhouse, the noose on his neck, Reborn's abuse, the target on his back...so stop caging him back.

I understand the author shared the story with me not wrote it for me. This is constructrive criticism. Tutor Twilight had a good idea but a awful execution.

[medicinemane]

Went on a long rant about thoughts on minecraft and stuff I did today (summary, end busting is not fun to me but I did it and should be closer to updating the server), so putting it under a cut

Well... did some end busting as a means to try and get bane of arthropods V... got a sword with IV so... mhh... might be able to work with that with how the snapshot is broken?

...yeah, looking at how combining stuff in an anvil works (something I never do) it looks like if I duplicate the bane IV onto another sword and then combine them that could work... I'll do some thinking

This whole thing is basically a resource dump to have something that will be as useful as those armorstands with jack o' lanterns on their heads and will be used... more or less the same way, so I kinda don't mind cheating a little with how I do the enchantments when I'm... cheating to do extra good enchantments as a trophy anyway

I'll deal with it in a bit, but we're getting closer to being able to update... I think (wish mojang wasn't always doing stuff that made me say "no, I don't want to update yet", wish I was always like "oh boy, can't wait to be on the latest version")

Anyway, that's update stuff

Thing two is with all the armor and shit you find out there in the end city it's like... oh yeah... villagers being able to sell you armor without a diamond cost was way too op! We need to give the power players something to use their diamonds on! ...because they won't just go end raiding or build a tunnel bore

Like dude, all the changes you did to villagers just make life harder for the more casual players, minecraft is not a good game to balance around the power players cause uh... you can't

You can make a world eater, you can build your redstone wiring out of diamond ore... there's a caliber of minecraft player that's fucking insane (which I'm probably closer to than a normal player at this point despite how slow I am at motivation) and the fact that some of them keep asking the game to be balanced around them is silly (sorry, I love you Cub, but if mojang listened to you ever and made it so we couldn't build on the nether roof I'd be pissed, not even cause of farms but cause that's part of my canvas)

It's dumb, it's not worth balancing, people do challenge runs of all kinds of games all the time, if villagers are too op to someone they can do a "beating minecraft without villagers" world and it's fixed (for me, villagers being op helps my brain focus cause I'm not worried about wasting this or that, I know I can just get it)

So that's thoughts on balancing minecraft with stuff like villagers or diamonds

Final thing, hate end busting. Miserable. Zero fun for me

Went and bridged to an end city (using the seedmap to find it, fucking not dealing with that) and that was negative fun but at least... let's say character building

Fighting shulkers is a pain, can't wait to have a farm. Yeah I don't carry a bow but... they don't seem fun to fight with one either

Got an elytra, went back home, enchanted it, flew out across the void (to do it once), flew from city to city looking for bane of arthropods V while nabbing elytra and whatever else I saw, and... it just was not remotely fun to me

So I'm not gonna be doing that, I can say that much. Just not something I enjoyed

Not even cause it was stressful or something, it was boring to me and unfun fighting shulkers for meh loot. That's how it felt to me and that's what wasn't fun

Like I get why other people like it, but I'm in the mood to say they're wrong and their taste is invalid. I won't say that, but I'm in the mood to. Farming them will be a pain, but that sounds way more fun... I think cause that's something concrete with a beginning, middle, end, and permanent pay off once it's done where as... mhh...

End busting is like match making pvp, to me pointless and annoying and a waste of my time even if I win. That's the feel it has. Whereas the farm is a thing I'll be able to go over to and turn on like a water fountain if water fountains killed shulkers

So I don't want to say something like "tonight sucked", but what I'll say is tonight was filled with what turns out to be my least favorite stuff to do in minecraft, setting up to deal with mojang annoying me with things they do in updates, and also I want to complain about the kinds of changes the make

(Bonus complaint, watching other people play with armadillos I think armadillos were badly implemented. They're cute, but they're kinda pointless other than... if you want to use them in a perpetual torture farm to spawn silverfish; and worst of all they drop stuff on the ground. Which is... an issue kinda shared by most all minecraft mobs)

(Anyway my real complaint is I don't like the mob vote, that's actually what I'm saying with the armadillo bit. They come up with 3 cool ideas, and then add a really shallow version of one of them and it's like... I'd be a lot less annoyed if that aspect weren't there, or if they slowly would add in the other mobs that didn't win the mob vote. Every mob would have the same problem the armadillo does, and visually I like it but... like... everything but frogs really, it ends up pretty pointless and to salt the wound they make a mess)

I love minecraft, I really do... but... I don't always love mojang and a lot of that is probably not loving microsoft puppeting them, but some of it's probably just mojang too

It's a fun game, but tonight wasn't fun. Maybe later it will be, but this was just unsatisfying busy work

[starlingsrps]

bigger than the whole sky.

neil’s last day is a good day and elise will spend months holding it up to the light, inspecting and staring at it closely, searching for signs that she didn’t see then. she should have known, she becomes convinced that she should have known. he’d been in hospice, swinging between pain management methods for three weeks and in those weeks, she spent more than enough time furiously scrolling through her phone to read up on impending signs of death. she studied like there will be a test and if she passes, she gets to keep her husband.

she hadn't expected to be ready but they’d played hangman for fuck’s sake.

he had even looked a little like himself again. his hair is growing back in, a bristle of snowy white and his jaw is a knife’s edge. she’s still trying to get used to that but his laugh was the same and when he shifted to give her some space on the bed and rests his head on her shoulder to nap, she had smiled. he was always little spoon.

at shift change, their favorite nurse came on duty. elise liked her because she’s got a wicked south side accent and doesn’t take shit or dish it out. in a year of hospitals, she learned that she liked the nurses who didn’t bullshit her the best. neil liked her because she came bearing his early evening dose of pain medication.

“sam, tell el to go home for a little bit,” he said. there was a hint of the old charm and lightness in the rasp of his voice and she rolls her eyes.

sammy rolled her eyes right back and continued counting his pulse. “elise, if you’d like to run home for a few hours, we’ve got it covered. neil’s taking me to the crosstown classic and then buying me a steak when the sox beat the shit out of the cubs.”

elise stopped taking it personally that her dying husband would rather watch baseball with his nurses than her a long time ago. she could go for a shower and a power nap on her own couch. nutmeg hasn’t seen her in almost ten hours and is probably legally insane. she listened to a little more trash talk between them before picking up her jacket and purse.

“okay, okay. go easy on her, will you?” she said, squeezing neil’s hand. “can’t hold it against her forever that she grew up wrong.”

he waves his hand in the air and leans back against the pillow. all of the sudden he looks tired and she worries that today took too much out of him when there isn’t much left. she kisses him on the forehead and lips and he squeezes her fingers to tug her back for a second kiss, murmurs that he loves her before picking up the button to push more oxy.

sam walks her out, to the end of the hospice ward. “you’ll call if,” she trails off and raises her eyebrows. neil is on borrowed time. the only way he’s leaving here holding her hand is if there’s a major miracle and, as elise stopped believing in even minor ones months ago, she doesn’t expect one now. but she can’t bring herself to say “if he dies” because if she says it, it will absolutely happen tonight.

sammy, who performs this same little act whenever elise leaves, nods. “i’ll call if anything changes.” she squeezes elise's shoulder. "go get some rest."

nothing tells her it will be the last time. she went home, took nutmeg for a quick walk around the block, showered, and fell asleep on the couch with the lights on and the cross town classic on. it's barely sunrise when her phone starts ringing on the coffee table and she knows before her eyes focus on the screen to show an incoming call from hospital. there’s no reason, nothing apparent. she just knows. neil has been her whole heart for sixteen years. she knows that he’s gone. she drags herself to a sitting position before she answers - it seems oddly important that she be sitting up for this.

“mrs. scott?”

her fingers knot into the trim of a throw pillow to brace herself. it’s the doctor rather than sam. “yes, this is she.” she hears what he says as though underwater. neil had passed in his sleep, condolences, the body will be released shortly. he passes the phone to someone else while elise is still grappling with her husband being just a body now.

"elise?" it's sammy and a two ton weight settles on her chest. "it's me. i'm so sorry. we watched about half of the game and he went to sleep. i-"

the weight seems to be in her throat and elise rubs her collarbone to try to loosen it. "who won?"

sammy gives a watery little laugh. "sox."

elise echoes the sound, knowing that it probably sounds more like a sob. "looks like i owe you a steak."

[blazefire2012]

I'm still so shocked that people really like my previous headcanons for Hancock, Deacon, and Dogmeat so I guess to celebrate that and to challenge myself, I've got at least one for every character. It's not much for a few of them becuase I either never played with them all that much or I'm scared I won't get their personality quite right, but I hope I did well! Enjoy!

Hancock

• Actually shrunk a few inches height wise from turning ghoul. He sometimes gets heated about it when someone teases him but gets a bit proud at a particular comeback when he remembers Nick teasing him by asking if he was missing a few inches to which he replied "not where they count".

Dogmeat

• You ever hear stories about the family dog adopting a kitten and the kitten is now the dogs cat, nit the familys cat? Well he does this. He's so guilty of bringing home random animals. Hes brought home an abandoned Yao guai cub, baby ravens, radstags fawns, and countless cats and mongrels have followed him home.

Deacon

• Because of his crazy schedule and sometimes having to change plans or get ready and go at the drop of a cap, he has mastered the art of falling asleep anywhere, anytime, and recharging as if he's gotten a full eight hours. For example, leaning aginst the wall in the catacombs of the church while Tom tells him about a new conspiracy, he's dead asleep behind his sunglasses and only wakes up when Drummer Boy comes running in saying Sole fucked some shit up and needs help. He just pops up like he wasn't just dreaming about rafting in the stream around Sanctuary with a fruity drink in his hand and he's out the door.

Cait

• Secretly loves to be pampered, to be treated how she heard other girls would be treated growing up. If Sole offered to brush knots and mats out of her hair after a spat, she will act offended out of fear at first. Fear of Sole snatching the comb through her hair like her mother would, just to get it done and out of her way. She fights hard to not let out a small tear when Sole helps her feel beautiful and not a burden after her hair is smooth and taken care of.

• Treats curie like a "dumb little sister" but loves her dearly and wouldn't trade her for the world.

• Has a habit of flirting with anyone or anything out of habit of trying to stay alive by flattery. As she starts to get to know the crew, she begins to mean the compliments a bit more.

Piper

• Loves sugary things because it's what her dad would give her when he got back from scavenging. He would get lucky every once in a while and find someones stash and would have plenty of treats for his girls for a few weeks to hold them over. And with Sole as her new closest friend, she now has someone else besides Nat to spoil.

• She is consittered insane by most people becuase she actually enjoys the spinning feeling that you get from drinking.

• Has gotten in the habit of scrapping every camera she can find for good parts and film for Nat. While her specialty is written words for her paper, Nat has taken up the hobby of photography and is sometimes comissioned by her sister. She's pretty good at it.

Curie

• Though she knows the new plants may be dangerous to her now that she's out of the vault and only has knowledge of their previous ancestry, she enjoys picking a few extra specimens and presses them between the pages of a thick book for herself. For research purposes of course.

MacCready

• Because of his friendship with a particular vault dweller growing up in the capital wasteland, he steers way clear of any vaults he would be coming across according to his maps. He knows the vault he grew up next to was bad but with the stories he's heard, he's not going to take his chance with ANY of them.

• Once Sole comes back from Far Harbor and lets him try Vim Quartz, he's hooked. Reminds him of the bubblegum and other candies him and his friends would bet with back at little Lamplight. Even gives off a soft glow like the lights his old home had. Over all, punches him with so much nostalgia.

• (This one is more Duncan than Mac but its close enough) After Duncan is cured and comes to live in one of the settlements with his dad, he would get curious like all little kids and ask about the carved toy solider that Sole has. After they tell him what it is and how it's special becuase his mom gave it to his dad and then to them, they give it to the little boy and asked him to take good care of it becuase it means so much to so many people. MacCready will feel so much love (your choice, platonicly or romanticly) for Sole just from this one interaction alone and will have no doubt that those 250 caps that were used to hire him were the best Sole had ever spent.

• After becoming close friends with Sole, he will allow them to call him Bobby. The only person to call him that since Lucy.

• Will sometimes have little competitions like makeshift shooting ranges or foot races with Sole to see who would have to cook dinner that night.

• Definitely trained Dogmeat to grab him a new drink when his current one is empty

Danse

• Will never admit it, but he can't swim all that well. He can float and make a pretty good show of it as if hes swimming by choice, but he's not doing laps at a decent speed anytime soon.

X6-88

• Though he knows he's made to do one thing and one thing only, he takes pride in his look, particularly his hair. He claims it's for intimidation but he secretly loves having a sharp hairline he edges himself when he's off duty. Would love to be bold and try something new but always looses the nerve. Why fix what isn't broken?

Nick

• No matter how old someone is, if he's escorting someone through a rough place, he will take off his coat and drape the bottom half over someone shoulders and hold the rest up over their view so they don't see past him. He can't quite remember, but he thinks it's an old habit from his detective days, protecting people from paparazzi and news reporters as well as crime scenes.

• Though he is a synth, he has said in his own words he's a prototype between Gen 2 and 3 so he has taste buds, he just doesn't have a lot of them and they aren't that strong. So smoking and eating is technically muscle memory, but he gets just enough stimulation so that he can still enjoy it. It also helps anchor him when he has a mental slip and begins to panic about who he is now.

• Loves to cheer children up when one is upset in his company. One of his favorite tricks is shadow puppets. His naked hand can make a pretty neat spider if you ask him to show you.

Strong

• Even though he makes a comment about eating Dogmeat, he is impressed how something as small, fragile, and as edible as him will still come up to him and want to play. Even Strong isn't immune to the very good boy

• In the time he's been around, he does have a few favorite people. And his way of showing his favoritism is by sharing the best parts of a fresh kill. He doesn't announce it though. So when he's with MacCready or Hancock, he will silently let them get their share before he tucks in for himself. Ironic that its the small things for the biggest companion.

Preston

• Oh my lord, can this man sing. The kind of cheesy movie scene type thing plays out where if Preston starts singing, people will start to mosey into the crowd around the fire in the middle of Sanctuary and even Danse and X6 will start tapping along to his beat because he's. Just. That. Good.

Codsworth

• He feels he isn't allowed to admit it, but he misses when he was first bought and assembled by Sole and their family. I'd like to think they read the instructions wrong and he was accidently turned on while in Soles lap, before his thrusters were attached of course, and has missed that close bonding experience ever since. Just being held close by the only person he has left from before the war, the one who he had seen and spoken to for the first time, not just his master, but his first friend.

• After Sole came back to Sanctuary and noticed Codsworth acting on his own and not off of set programming, that he basically had crafted his own personality and became his own person, they don't treat him like a servant anymore. Because of that, he believed he upset his master and after confronting them and asking why they were acting distant, he was told as much but asked if he could still be by Soles side not as a servant, but as a friend instead. Sole agreed.

Ada

• Her favorite thing to do with her new found family is tell stories from her time with Jackson and his caravan. To give everyone a good time but to also keep them alive in hers and now her new friends memories.

Old Longfellow

• He has won so many drinks and free meals from bar games. Pool, darts, cards, you name it, he's probably won a few shots from it.

Gage

• He's been traveling all his life by the time he found Colter and settled in Nuka-World. He never did get a good look at the destroyed signs in his home town, all he could make out/remember is he's from a place with a man's name. He thinks it was "George".

[hotdamnhunnam]

Meet the Fuck-Ups

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Here’s Part 2 to the fic about your first time meeting Jax’s parents! In which dinner ends... and he takes you back to his place after... to treat you to the best sex ever 🔥

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, light choking, multiple orgasms, rough sex, dom!Jax Request: This anon request + follow-up + character pref poll

Word Count: ~2.9k

... Continued from Part 1 [Read Here]

Jax never thought it would be possible to love you more than he already did before tonight. Whenever he pictures a future, it’s you by his side. Amidst all of the mayhem and murder, your love is the one thing that feels pure, the one thing that’s right. The best damn thing to happen to him in his whole fucked up life.

From the day you first met, day he’ll never forget... Jax knew someday he wanted to make you his wife. Yet the thought of you meeting his sick twisted parents had him terrified. After spending time with his mean-spirited mom and his sleazebag stepdad for one night, he just figured that any sane woman would run off and hide. If she even managed to survive.

But the truth is that in your own way, you are just as insane as the whole Teller-Morrow clan. You’re here to stay. No amount of chaotic, toxic energy from his family will ever scare you off, or tear you away from the man that you love. Jax is your fucking man.

You’ll hold your own against Gemma and Clay, every damn day. Because you’re a strong woman. Proud to be just as fucked up as them. You’ll hold on to your man because you fucking can. And because of how much you love him.

After dinner tonight when you go home with Jax... he’ll make sure that you feel just how fucking fiercely and sincerely your man loves you back.

Thankfully, the rest of the dinner goes smoothly, after the corn on the cob joke that Clay had so playfully cracked. You carry on shooting the shit with his psychotic parents, as effortlessly as if they’re your best friends. Even crack a few more jokes at Jax’s expense.

Getting the Teller-Morrows to laugh is the best way to get on their good side, and you manage that with class all through the night. 

Gemma can clearly see how much you love her son, so she knows that the teasing is all in good fun. The night goes on, without any tension, without the table breaking into a fight. In Jax’s eyes that’s mostly thanks to you being an all-around lovable person, and handling everything just fucking right.

Yeah, he sure loves you more now than ever before. And he can’t wait to give you your well-earned reward: taking you home and making you cum, from the feel of him fucking you up like a damn dirty whore.

***************

The lioness of Charming pulls her cub aside, before he heads out for the night. “Jackson—you hold on to this one, alright?”

Oh, she won’t have to tell him twice. The thought of losing you... he’d rather die. “Is this you saying you approve? Of the woman I love?” he asks, trying to spot the catch. To find the lies that lurk behind her dark treacherous eyes.

“What, are you surprised?” Gemma derisively replies. “Y/N’s a keeper. Wife material. I’ve never met a girl better prepared to spend her life beside a reaper.”

Wow. Though Jax already knew his parents loved you, still he didn’t think his mom would give her blessing so damn soon. Right fucking now. The queen mother recognizing a potential daughter-in-law as ‘wife material’ is a massive fucking deal. “For real?”

“Why are you acting as if it’s so unbelievable? This girl’s a goddamn treasure, and it’s obvious how much you love her, Jax. And she’s fucked up enough to love you back. She’s won your family over, clearly.”

Jax can tell. But still this out-of-character burst of positivity from his mother is too much to handle. Still he needs to be assured, as he takes in the words. “Really?”

Gemma rolls her eyes and glares at him as if his doubt is some offensive crime. Gestures for him to head outside. “You ask me one more time, I’ll change my mind just out of spite.”

Of course she would. She means that more than any normal person should. So Jax at last decides to leave, and let himself believe that she has nothing up her sleeve. That her impression of you really is that good.

You’re waiting for him on the back of his ride, as he joins you outside. His big beautiful smile is miles wide, blue eyes especially bright. “Baby, you were amazing tonight.”

With a shrug, playfully pretending that you don’t give a fuck, you lean in towards him as he kisses your forehead and claims a hug, tender and tight. “Was just being my crazy ass self. Guess it went over well?”

“They’re impressed as hell. Fucking adore you. Like I do,” he coos. “My mom even said you’re a girl to hold on to. She never says crap like that.”

“Damn, were all your exes really that bad...?”

Jax reacts with a laugh and a shake of his head, while he carefully fastens your helmet. “I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it? Darlin’, compared to you everyone’s shit.”

“Now are you pouring on compliments just to get in my pants...?” you provocatively taunt your man, as he gets in position and starts the ignition. “Who says I still wanna be your girlfriend now that I’ve met your parents?”

“You’re not even wearing pants, princess. You’re in a pretty little dress that gives me super easy access. Besides, you promised me you wouldn’t scare that easy,” Jax recalls what you’d said, when the evening had started. He knows you’re just teasing. He teases you right back which is only fair, really. “And if you are scared—I don’t care. ‘Cause I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

***************

By the time you get home, you had fully expected Jax to fuck you up against the wall before you even reach the bedroom.

But instead your man stops for a second, just to sing your praises again. Gushing about how the way that you handled his parents tonight was pure fucking perfection. As much as you’re craving a wrecking, at the same time you’re a sucker for these soft moments of genuine emotional connection.

The two of you head to the bedroom together, taking your sweet time before indulging in a long night of pleasure. He holds you near, then pulls back to admire your face, pure adoration in his blue gaze, beaming ear to ear. “I still can’t believe you’re my girl. Swear I’m the luckiest guy ever.”

You can’t picture yourself ever being with anyone else. This man is your actual heaven, and you’d gladly follow him straight into hell. And so you tell him—the only thing to tell. “Well, I’m the luckiest and happiest girl in the world, to be yours, Mr. Jax Fucking Teller.”

The words couldn’t possibly be more sincere. You’re not scared, and you’re not going anywhere. With this love that you share, there is nothing to fear. You will always be right fucking here.

“So you’re really fucked up that badly...?” Jax asks playfully. “You still wanna be with me, even after meeting my fucked up family?”

Yes, you really do love him that madly. “Even more so. I was born to fit right in among the psycho Teller-Morrows.”

“Yeah, guess so. Although...” he finally wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close as primal lust begins to darken his adoring gaze, “... I’m gonna have to kill you if they start loving you more than me.”

“Oh, I thought they do already,” you respond confidently. Then lean to whisper in his ear all sensuous and slutty. “But you know... you can just punish me in bed if it’ll help you work through your jealousy.”

Now that has to be the cue... for him to go to town and make a nasty little slut of you. Obviously the only thing for him to do...

... but instead, he goes off track. Disengages from your embrace and saunters over toward the bed. What the fuck, Jax? That’s unexpected.

“Sure I could, and that sounds good—but I’m exhausted. Now that I know you’ll stick around I can just lie back and relax,” he sighs as he flops down onto his back. “Can finally stop trying so damn hard to impress you in the sack.”

Bites at his lower lip and glances up at you to see how you’ll react.

He looks fucking adorable like that. Especially because you know exactly where he’s going with this silly little act.

“Very funny, Jax,” you answer with an eye-roll, moving over toward the bed to deal his jean-clad thigh a smack. He’s pushing your buttons even if just the slightest bit, and the cheeky bastard loves it. “We both know you never had to ‘try’ at all, you cocky piece of shit.”

He smirks like the smug fucking asshole he is. “Yeah, I guess I’m a natural. But the truth is I’m actually thinking the opposite.”

Even though you know exactly what he means, you want your man to tell you outright—and to show you all night—with the massive meat he’s packing in his jeans. “Opposite of what...?”

And that’s just what he does. 

“Opposite of that bullshit I said. Now that I love you more than ever... it’s my life’s mission to fuck you even better,” he snarls. Pulls you down toward the bed, then swiftly shifts till he’s on top instead, your nice dress pressed beneath the leather of his kutte. Jax Teller’s body weight on top of you is hands down the best feeling in the world. “Make sure you’ll always be my dirty girl. My perfect little slut.”

Oh, hell yes. From his fiery fierceness, you can already tell that tonight’s sex is bound to be the fucking best. Until Jax keeps outdoing himself for the rest of the life that you’ll spend together. Constantly reaching new heights of pleasure.

You’re already a mess, as he strips off his kutte, then your dress. For the privilege of being his slut... you are so fucking blessed. Hell yes. Yes, sir. “Always and forever, Teller.”

***************

The first few rounds of sex are the usual: sweet, slow, and so fucking beautiful. Though Jax is always controlling and rough—just the way that you love—on some level he’s always been soft. Hard of course where it counts, but some part of him seems to hold back when he’s dicking you down.

You have tried to drop hints that you want him to let loose and just go to town. To use you as his filthy whore plaything. But in all the months since you two started dating, he still hasn’t quite come around.

... until now.

“Such a good little slut for me,” he huffs out, cocky and proud, kissing your panting mouth, after you just came screaming explosively loud. It’s a wonder that you are still breathing somehow. “So dirty. You like this big cock fucking you like a whore? You think you can take more?”

Oh my God—how could you fucking not? This is what you live for...

“Like the way I destroy this tight pussy of yours?”

Sir, that is a rhetorical question. Your cock is perfection.

You know you should answer him out loud as he has demanded, but you’re still impaled on his throbbing erection, and can’t fucking stand it. Your senses are scattered and stranded. 

Yes, he is still erect even after a huge load of cum had just landed; after a good wrecking, Jax typically only takes ten to twelve seconds to get hard again.

The fact is established that he is a god among men.

“That what you want?” he taunts, and then—then he raises his hand toward your gasping throat all of a sudden. Applying just the right amount of pressure, the most perfect kind of pleasure. “Huh? That what you fucking want? Answer the damn question, you filthy little cunt.”

Oh my—no lie, those words combined with his fist clamped around your neck just made you cum, though your last climax wasn’t even fully done. Sweet Jesus Christ. Your pussy is completely numb. You’re pretty sure that it just died, thanks to Jax Teller breaking all the rules of orgasm.

He’s never been so goddamn dominant. So nasty, and it’s honestly just how you always have him in your deepest secret fantasies. It’s everything you want.

Jax loosens up his hand around your neck, enough for you to finally manage to respond. The only answer answer that a sex god should expect. “Fuck—yes, sir! Yes...!”

“Yes what,” he grunts, big dick still buried to the hilt inside your cunt. “Yes what, you dirty little slut?”

... but you already called him sir? How else does he want you to answer? Your weak voice chokes out in a clueless stammer, poor heart pounding like a hammer. “Y–yes, Master...?”

Then he snickers down at you because he is a wicked bastard. And you may have cum again just from the sound of his sadistic savage laughter. Did the cruel son of a bitch just bring his fingers to your clit, while his divine cock drives even deeper inside your dripping slit? You’re pretty sure your heart will jump straight from your chest if it starts thumping any faster...

“I wanna hear you say it, bitch,” he sneers, pressing his heated lips against your ear. Making your strangled breathing hitch, your soaking pussy throb and twitch. “Right from this pretty little mouth. Want you to beg for more. Admit... out loud... that you are nothing but my filthy fucking whore.”

Oh Godddd. By now your sanity is shot. And will not ever be restored.

Like, how the fuck does he expect you to form words? You can’t even form thoughts. Your cunt just burst. Everything hurts. His dark degrading dominance is just too fucking hot. You just cannot. He is the worst. The fucking worst...

“Want me to fuck the words right out of you?” he mocks, as he starts ravenously railing you with his enormous cock. “Of course you do.”

You’ve lost control over your body and your mind and he’s clearly loving the view. This is exactly the effect that hardcore filthy sex with Jax would have on you; he always knew. He’s wrecking you in just the way you always begged him to. After all that desperate begging, now he’s finally coming through.

And here you are basically cumming on a nonstop fucking loop. Like, what the actual... this can’t be natural... Jax’s ruthless cock won’t even give you half a second to regroup. His cock is such a fucking asshole.

That doesn’t make anatomical sense. Nothing does when you’re having an impossible out-of-pussy experience.

“You always begged for this, you kinky little bitch,” he taunts, one of his hands groping your tits, as he aggressively pounds into your aching cunt. Fucking ravages. Pushing you over the edge. You’re not going to make it. “Now fucking take it.”

Holy fucking shit. You are powerless to do anything else, as this man has you under his spell. Taking you to heaven on earth over and over again as he puts you through hell.

“But this time you don’t get to cum until you talk,” he orders, thrusting ever harder. “I’m gonna fuck the words out of this filthy mouth of yours. Tell me how much you love it, whore. Scream for me while you’re taking my cock.”

You’re in a state of total shock. So out of touch. But his threat hits like an attack, and so you manage words somehow, right now, but nothing much. “J-Jax—unghh, fuuuck...”

But that’s not good enough. His voice is hoarse and rough, and the sound gets you off, as he ramps up the pace of his thrusts, and rams into your cunt till it just about busts. “Use your fucking words, slut.”

The words that you string together are some senseless combination of I’m your filthy little whore and please more and oh fuck and I live for your cock and an endless supply of yes sir. You’ve never sounded like such an absolute idiot, you’re pretty sure. But at least you’ve attempted to follow his orders; you hope your attempt at obedience brought him some pleasure. Your purpose in life is to please and serve Jax Fucking Teller.

And the best fucking part, since you share the same heart... is the fact that his pleasure is yours.

By the time he treats you to the final climax of the night—his huge dick exploding in your pussy, so slick and juicy, clenching around him so tight, as his thick white cum fills your hole, flooding your insides, painting your walls, fucking you up so perfectly full... you are left seeing stars, lost in bliss, and don’t know who you are anymore. Other than that you’re his, and will be every day, all your life—hopefully someday as his loving wife—and always, forever, his filthy fucking whore.

Somehow you’re still alive as he holds you close, nuzzling your nose, softly kissing and cuddling you through the afterglow. Murmuring how much he loves you, though he knows you’re too mind-blown to tell him that you love him too. Just the beat of your heart makes it clear that it’s true.

That was the night you finally met Jax Teller’s fucked up family, for the first time ever. The night that ignited the spark that led to your man fucking you up savagely... just the way you had always craved so badly... every day for the rest of your lifetime together.

There is honestly no greater pleasure in life than to be loved and get fucked—no, fucked up—by Jax Fucking Teller.

***************

Hope you enjoyed this, and would love to hear if you did! 🤗❤️

Masterlist

Tag List – Join Here!*

*If you’re unable to use that link to join the tag list, just let me know and I’ll manually add you to it!

@itsme-autumn @rebelwrites @happyhenners @band--psycho @witching-hour @est11 @edonaspanca @ughdontbeboring @neverland14353 @starbooty @coffeequeenxx @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz�� @justme2042 @awesomenatalia @auroraariza @rochyu​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @inlovewithcharliehunnam @turner-cris @thesuicidalflower @chrmdnbeautiful @xladymacbethx @holl2712 @snow-white-74 @moonlight-fern @stitchesbystults @lilacyennefer @magic-room @sunflower12335​ @trishmarieofficial​ @smoochesfroggos @o0idk0o @beth-winchester21 @flaireandsynch @littlebennettwitchsblog @got-to-love-a-badboy @noneofyourbusinessssblog @notquitecannon @wayward-avenging @travistheaussie​ @helloheyhihowdyheya​ @filliandkili @christycarnell6 @happylittlepuppydog @dinopin @leathercladmenfics @magictehnique​ @amberembers @addcrastinator3 @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @foreve-free @midnvght-lies @wiccanash @batmanb @xbreezymeadowsx @louisianalady [hit the 50-tag limit – Tag List to be continued in a reblog of this fic]

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part Two: The Undateables)

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again…) For the Brothers, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Diavolo

He was soooo excited to get to experience camping! He had been asking the MC about human camping trips for about a week before making the announcement and he was pumped!!

Barbatos chauffeured him to the campsite in his own car (of course) but he insisted on taking every roadside, touristy stop they came across which doubled the drive time considerably…

He wanted to help everybody set up the camp but Barbatos and Lucifer were having none of it… So he took pictures and offered moral support instead! Good work everyone! 😁

He had his own tent about the size of a small house (ngl it took Barbs and Lucifer about a half hour to set the whole thing up). Barbs even somehow managed to pack a collapsible desk in there for him so he could still work… greeeat…. 🙄

Diavolo wanted to try everything. Literally everything. The man even traded his uniform out for full on outdoors gear, right down to one of those floppy fishing hats with the tackle stuck to it.

Politely insistently asks that Lucifer does things with him. The MC could come along as well (and in many cases Luci begs them to do so) but he wants to get some bonding time in with his best friend!

Unfortunately for Lucifer, Diavolo would get sidetracked quite a lot… Which is how he ended up having to physically steer his Lord out of harm's way more than once…

At one point while hiking, Diavolo was so distracted by taking pictures that he nearly walked right into the path of a passing bear and her cubs. Lucifer had to tackle him down into some bushes until they went away... His brothers teased him mercilessly when they heard about...

Dia also loved the camping food quite a bit. He's never gotten the chance to cook his own food before, even if it's just marshmallows over a fire, so it was all a brand new experience for him! S'mores are now declared a human world delicacy.

Man had the time of his life! He'd love to do it again, hell, maybe even make it a yearly event! (Few of the brothers share his sentiment, but hey, it pays to be King 😏)

Barbatos

If his Lord orders it, then he follows. He'll just have to double check that everyone is prepared for the occasion…

Drove Diavolo there with the patience of a saint (while also, like, being the exact opposite of that). Had it been anyone else in the car, they might have told him, "No, we can't stop for pictures of every moose you see," but Barbs is as accommodating as he is loyal.

It was pretty much all on his shoulders to direct the others when setting up camp. Lucifer would claim it was his, but let’s be completely honest here, Lucifer can't order Barbs to do shit. 

Naturally, he had his own tent close to his Lord, more modest in comparison, but big enough to hold a majority of the belongings and gear Diavolo had requested.

He also managed to bring a almost fully functioning kitchen setup for him using magic, minus a working oven by Diavolo's instruction. If he wanted a heat source, he had to use the campfire and he found the challenge intriguing…

For once in his extended life, Barbs had to do some trial and error in the kitchen. As it would turn out, fireside cooking can be a little difficult to master, but by the end of the trip he could still somehow dish out four course meals without so much as a sweat (according to the MC the secret was tinfoil and cast-iron cookware… who knew?)

When he isn’t prepping their next meal (which let’s be honest, with Beel on the trip that’s a constant activity) he’s guarding the food from Beel and Solomon…

The sorcerer wanted to help, but Barbs has already learned the hard way that if he so much as pokes a dish its flavor is ruined… It’s enough to make him wonder if it was a curse laid on him at some point…

Watching Barbatos deny Solomon becomes a pretty funny routine in and of itself. He’s not above just smacking the man’s hand away with a wooden spoon if it gets too close. Barbs doesn’t play in his kitchen. Back off. 😠

Barbatos is happy with the trip so long as the young Lord enjoyed himself. If that’s the case, and it was, then he’d happily do it again if asked… not that he’d have much of a choice anyway.

Simeon

Simeon was familiar with the concept of camping, he’d written about it in his stories, but he’d never actually done it himself… He had hoped it'd be an interesting experience! And uh… it was that from the very start… 

Purgatory Hall got its own car and Solomon was put in charge of driving… But no one mentioned that he drives like a complete maniac. Speed limits, stoplights, even the ROAD ITSELF be damned. Solomon drives in a straight line from point A to point B and if there’s anything in the way he’ll just use magic to get around it…

It’s safe to say that by the time he and the others got to the campsite (which was significantly quicker than the rest) the angels weren’t in the emotional state to pitch tents… He and Luke just waited for the others to catch up while praying and praising the solid ground beneath their feet…

He shared his tent with Luke and didn’t mind at all. It was probably for the best anyway because the little angel was scared of human world predators like bears and wolves coming for him in the night… Poor boy…

Simeon took to hiking quite a bit. Going out and exploring the area around the campsite made him feel invigorated! The forests were beautiful and it gave him ideas for a bit of a guilty pleasure he's been debating on writing, "The Tale of the Lonely Prince." 🤭

It was on one of those trips that Simeon discovered human world creatures love him. Pretty much all of the wildlife gravitates towards him like he's a Disney Princess.

At one point he came back to camp riding on a moose with birds chirping on his new friend's antlers. He offered to take the MC out for a ride, but the brothers threw a fit about it…

He WAS able to get a couple more wrangled for Diavolo, who naturally dragged Lucifer along (though he clearly didn't want to touch the thing). 

The three ended up getting into a mooseback race because Diavolo wouldn't let Lucifer take the lead. He was glad to see Luci enjoy himself for a change! (It helped a lot that he won of course 🙄😏)

All and all, Simeon had a great time. Maybe he should ask the MC to show him more human places… But he's never getting in a car again. Pardon his language, but fuck those things!!!

Luke

He doesn't know what's worse… being out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of demons or the absolute insanity that was the "drive" down… 😣

He spent the entirety of Solomon's Magical Ride of Nightmares clinging to Simeon or the armrests for dear life. He swore his entire life flashed before his eyes, can angels even have heart attacks???

Stayed right next to Simeon when they finally pulled themselves together enough to leave the car. He was so happy that Michael didn't see any of that… Who knew human transportation was so horrifying…???

His saving grace (literally) was getting to share his tent with Simeon… After Solomon told him that bears sometimes get curious and ransacked campsites, he clung onto the older angel like a protective charm.

...Whiiiich he wasn't too off about actually after he saw Simeon playing (yes PLAYING) with the human wildlife… Simeon had to introduce him to some of the nicer animals for him to eventually get over his fear and venture out past the campsite.

Luke loved to swim in the lake or river with MC and the others. The MC found a sturdy branch where they set up a rope swing and the little guy amused himself for hours!

Sometimes he'd watch Barbatos prep and cook using the campfire… He didn't even know you could make lasagna in a Dutch oven…

At one point the MC convinced him to go with them and the twins on a particularly long hike…

He got tired halfway through and Beel offered him a piggyback ride, but of course he'd NEVER let himself be that close to a demon!! (Just kidding, poor boy was so tired he climbed onto Beel's back and held on the a kola until they got back. Then he jumped off to save face)

He had a better time than he thought he would, but still doesn't want to go camping with demons ever again. (He and Simeon also begged Lucifer to drive them back instead of Solomon so the brothers' van was pretty much a clown car on the return trip).

Solomon

Solomon hasn't been camping (for enjoyment) in quite a while, so when the prospect came up to do it with the MC and the other students he was intrigued...

When Simeon asked he knew how to drive, he said yes. He knows how to start a car, put it into motion, steer, and then come to a stop. That's all driving is really. 🤷‍♀️ You can't blame him for not memorizing all the rules, he's been traveling by portal for decades!

Was pretty confused why his angel friends fled the car so quickly... He got them there in one piece, after all. 😕🤷‍♀️ He put up their tents himself since they were too busy thanking their father then made a magic barrier around the site for protection purposes.

He and the MC both have their own tents, of course his is enchanted to be a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but he's only let the MC in on that little secret in case they want to visit… 😏

When everyone else finally arrived, Solomon was happy to help the MC introduce the wonders of the human wilderness to their companions! Including the breathtaking vistas, beautiful flora, bitter temperatures, man-eating predators, waters filled with disease… Hm? Oh, Luke won't leave the tent now…? Whoopsie.

Solomon kept himself occupied on the trip the best way he knew how… relentless trolling (particularly of Asmo and Barbs because they're used to his shit).

He'd alternate between poking fun at Asmo for the almost ritual length routines he was going through to try and save his looks to genuinely trying to encourage him and downplay the severity of the downgrade...

Meanwhile he was bound and determined to serve at least one of his own dishes during the trip (but Barbatos had banned him from the "kitchen," the food tent, and even the spoons...)

Diavolo, nice guy that he is, eventually made Barbs relent and let Solomon cook for ONE night… It went as well as to be expected. (They sent Solomon to grab more supplies then everybody took turns washing their mouths out with lake water... Diavolo apologized profusely, he had no idea...).

Solomon was confused why the angels would rather squeeze themselves in with the brothers than ride with him back but he wasn’t upset about it. That meant he could make a few extra stops without anyone complaining! He knows a guy in New Orleans he’s been meaning to see again… Luke and Simeon can wait a little for their stuff, right?

Click HERE for Part One. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[corruptedforce]

Is there any fandom you regret exploring?

Have you ever developed an OC for a certain fandom?

What are you looking for in a ship?

Do you tend to focus on shipping or do you not care at all?

Questions for the Mun // @hxdrostorm // Accepting!

Is there any fandom you regret exploring?

I want to say no, because of the connections I made with some people, over the years, and the chance to develop characters that honestly are like a part of me now. 

Glee was honestly insanely toxic, but I have a close friend for 10+ years, and despite the fact that the actor is problematic, the character isn’t and I wrote Noah Puckerman for a very long time, and I will always have a little bit of him, in me. 

Harry Potter, I have friends that I will love forever and I will love James Potter and Harry Potter and despise Severus Snape for all eternity. So much of me as a writer comes from writing James, for as long as I did.  He doesn’t come to me as easily as he once did, but James/Lily are my OTP of all OTP’s, and I would never have met @possiblypadme, who I could not imagine not knowing.

Sons of Anarchy could be a mess, but Jax Teller is my favorite fictional character of all time, and Sons of Anarchy is my favorite show. It was something that got me through a horrible time, so I can’t watch it easily anymore, but I love everything about Jax and met some wonderful people, again. I could not have developed Jax without having the Wendy and Tara that I did for so long, and am endlessly grateful to people like Vesta and Lisa, who I know how to find on Discord but not on Tumblr now lol. 

Vikings could be a mess, but I played Ragnar, Bjorn, King Ecbert, Alfred, Hvitsert, Father Cuthbert, Judith, Aethelred,  I’m missing some I’m sure and I met some of the best people, and am actually really close friends with someone who was on Vikings. But, I would never take back by time in that fandom and I still do write Ragnar, Alfred, and Bjorn.  It gave me so so many people but so much development with @findablog and @contrecoeurs especially, along with a few others.

Star Wars, I am happy here, so I can’t say I have regrets. I’ve gone a little sour because of a few things, in the last couple weeks. Being gaslit and having people randomly soft block or block you out of nowhere is a weird feeling?  Sometimes, I feel like I want an exit interview but the unknown is better and there’s a situation that I’m just done crying over.  

Baseball, which for me is the Cubs and the Yankees.  I was born a Cubs fan. My mom has been watching them since the 60′s. We broke a 108 year drought in 2016, and when they weren’t producing, the fucking piece of shit, moronic asseating upper management traded the core of the team, which also included the face of the franchise, the love of my life Anthony Rizzo. I’ll always love the Cubs fanbase but I’ll admit that they became a bunch of entitled assholes after we won the championship. We went from lovable losers to jerks.  But, I had to follow Rizzo to the Yankees, aka the Evil Empire.  So look, the Yankees fandom is toxic af, they threaten their players family and don’t know how to be loyal but my fave is happy there, so I have to support him. So, I can’t regret it.

Have you ever developed an OC for a certain fandom?

Yes. I developed Marlene McKinnon’s older brother Marcus in the Harry Potter Marauders Era. He’s basically the only one. Many people can make fabulous OC’s. I’m not one of them. 

What are you looking for in a ship?

CHEMISTRY. I don’t like it without chemistry. I am well aware that Anakin has a canon ship, that he’s obsessed with, but if there’s no chemistry, I can’t and won’t write it.  It’s got to have that chemistry and dramatic pull.  I’m open to pretty much anything ship wise, but I have to have that chemistry.  He is 99% heterosexual so I do stick only to that, and Rex.  But, that comes to chemistry too. 

Do you tend to focus on shipping or do you not care at all?

I’m somewhere down the middle. Anakin is the King of Attachment.  I can’t have him not get attachment to people, because it is who he is. His emotions consume him.  But, unless there is a significant amount of chemistry (like with Anakin & Sabe), it’s hard for him to fall in love with not Padme.  

Also, I know everyone likes to think Vader has no emotions, but he’s capable of attachment too.  

But, I’m not here to write ships. Anakin is just a horny mess, and things happen???? But, his development and complexity is my first goal. 

[rhysismydaddy]

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

______________________________________________

~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin. 

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. 

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian. 

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain. 

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting. 

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know. 

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying. 

“Konechno.” Of course. 

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again. 

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death. 

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman. 

My father is an arms-dealer. 

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy. 

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t. 

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty. 

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people. 

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly. 

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer. 

“Starik,” I tease. Old man. 

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York. 

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise. 

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase. 

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital. 

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait. 

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details. 

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé. 

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored. 

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him. 

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option. 

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room. 

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature. 

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more. 

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest. 

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name. 

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now. 

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected. 

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello. 

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield. 

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello. 

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction. 

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave. 

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck. 

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys. 

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official. 

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual. 

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it. 

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

Tags: @elorcan-trash @januarystears @emikadreams @sjm-things @santas-dwynwen @thebitchupstairs @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @masstrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[cannibalcaterpillar]

This means Carole had 9 years to get to know her sibling. Instead of bonding with him she had imaginary cat friends. Not HUMAN friends CAT friends. That isn’t bad on its own, but it matters when it’s on a list like this.

Had no friends.

Has gone through 4 husbands and this one clearly KNOWS he’ll die if he doesn’t worship her.

She only mentions having a kid like twice in passing .

She was the aggressor in her past relationships seeking financial control with homicidal tendencies.

Says she left cause her parents are trash but in the end her dad was “def on her side”??

She lies CONSTANTLY

THE MAILBOX SNAKES‼️‼️ joe threatened to do this on his show, but it was YEARS before he mentioned “finally finding where that bitch lives” she doesn’t say that the snakes were venomous just that “the mailbox exploded with snakes” I think she lied about that all together to make joe seem crazier. Like how joe poisoned 23 cubs and burned 7 gators alive and blamed it on Carole or animal rights people. They do crazy shit and lie and say their enemies did it.

She mentions how she envies cats range because they can go from to content to murderous in a second. Most people are like that. But carol has to emulate her emotions so she’s jealous it’s not that natural to her.

I don’t believe her story about how she met don at all. Carole doc and joe all lie CONSTANTLY. Even just in skewed wording like how joe and doc always say “this liger was born right here” instead of “I bred this cat cause I’m still breeding and selling cats” doc says he’s single and his wives all have their own houses cause he’d get arrested for bigamy if he pulled a Kody from sister wives. Constant lies! Carole is no different.

THE FUCKING SARDINE OIL????

The scene where her and her husband are discussing sleeping with guns he says “I woke up and saw Carole with a gun and it ended up being 2” and she cuts him off quick to say “DAMN NEAR SHOT THE NEIGHBORS DOGS” *nervous laugh* I don’t think they were dogs.

Her next line is “I don’t worry about the DOGS that bark a lot, I worry about the quiet ones, those are the PEOPLE you have to watch out for” this could be a metaphor for joe, or she could have shot two people that night. I dunno the wording there just is not right and Irks me.

She needs her volunteers to be there for like 5 years before she even notices they’re there. People that are there working with her animals every day. She doesn’t interact with people. Even her staff.

She said no one can get near Mario right before the documentary does. Maybe SHE can’t get near him and knows because she’s tired to use him for hits before? He made it clear he thinks she did it and she’s trash. Probably because Mario is the only one who at least appears to love and respect his animals. Carole is letting hers rot. Literally.

I totally believe there could be shit behind the scenes of her and joe exotic trading or selling each other cubs. Everyone in this has shown to be two faced self absorbed and willing to work with their enemies one week and destroy them the next. I bet doc wasn’t the only receipt they had in that storage shed. Do you think the lions mentioned in that clip are the ones he got raided for in 2019? Him and joe talk lots about how they have the only ligers and the whole issue was that the ligers were thought to be related and the tests proved they were, but more distantly than previously thought so doc got away.

Something about joe pointing out how much money they made off of each other and labeling them like cartoon characters really made me feel like it’s been YouTube drama this whole time.

I’m sure she worked with Jeff more than she lets on. I don’t understand how the cops didn’t see that after 10 years of threatening and hating carol, nothing serious happened to plan a murder UNTIL Jeff got involved. He deserves to be jailed for a lot but not the attempted murder of an actual murder.

Carole is soft spoken to appear harmless and her constant laughing is because she’s nervous. There’s a big difference between her doing her own videos and being interviewed. It’s because she isn’t in control of how that footage is filmed and edited or what she looks like at the end.

I just really feel like she’s antisocial. She gives me HEAVY Kathrine Knight vibes. If ya dunno her look her up, one of the WORST bitches ever. But she’s got a real familiar thing goin on. Kathrine also killed her husband and he also tried to warn everyone and seek protection before she did it. No one took him seriously until he didn’t show up for work one day.

Carole got away with murder.

Edit: I just wanted to add that I’ve been looking up so much shit abojt this case and Carole. Shes described her first interaction with don and the gun as enticing because “well this isn’t boring!” And she wanted to be a vet but feared the boredom that came with being an adult with a house and career. Constantly looking for a thrill so you aren’t bored to the degree of putting yourself in dangerous situations (handling big cats or holding a gun on a stranger or killing your fucking husband) is also very indicative of an antisocial personality.

Edit 2: I just found out Carole learned to fly to keep them safe since don was “losing it” so that makes pushing him out of a plane seem a lot more likely. If I can find a screen shot of her saying that I’ll add it too. But I think it’s interesting no one close to him says that he’s EVER crashed or that anyone was worried about his ability to fly. More lies!

ANOTHER ADDITION!! Caroles father was also a pilot and a flight instructor. That throwing him out of a plane theory is starting to seem real logical.

Caroles mother notorizes all of her insane paperwork, her brother was in the police force that let her get away with it, the sheriff has a really nice house almost like he was paid off and her dad can fly planes and is on her side.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine - Chapter Two

Alright people, say it with me: Trust Issues. Also Finn goes from zero to one hundred real fast.

This is definitely a filler chapter; we’ll get to more spy stuff next chapter.

@lumosinlove

Chapter One

.

Finn made sure to get to the office early enough to have time for a trip down to the Archives, his second cup of coffee in hand as he took the elevator up to the fifth floor of the building. He needed intel. Not on the Snakes – they were getting briefed on them later today. No, he was looking for files on his new partners.

Granted, he could learn a lot from observing them on his own time, but that could only give him so much. In order to get the full picture, he needed their hometowns, history, information about their families, jobs they’d done in the past, you name it. Because, for one of the only times in his life, he was stumped. His entire job was based on how well he could read people; this was frustratingly unusual.

Unusually frustrating? Finn questioned as elevator opened with a ding.

It was both frustrating and unusual. There.

Figuring Logan out was harder than he’d thought it would be. Finn was having a really hard time connecting the Logan he knew from two months ago to the one he was trying to get to know now. He was so different compared to the version of Logan he’d met at the New Year’s party… but alcohol tended to have that effect on people. The guy who cuddled with him on that ratty old couch while nursing a rum and coke now kept his distance. The easy smile and contagious laugh Finn remembered hadn’t been seen or heard since. He was so guarded. About everything, it seemed like. That made him hard to get to know, hard to predict. 

And then there was Leo. Leo made absolutely no sense, in Finn’s opinion. With constant movement but controlled, practiced actions, he was a paradoxical combination of restless and serene. His nerves pointed towards inexperience, but his eyes told a different story – one with complete confidence of his capabilities. He was an enigma. And Finn couldn’t seem to get a read on him.

That was important to Finn. He needed to be able to read and understand his partners. He needed to be able to know their thoughts, predict their every move, trust them. They wouldn’t work together otherwise.

So he woke up at a god-forsaken hour – it was still dark outside – and here he was, outside the Archives.

Staring at the back, broad shoulders, and brown hair of one of his new partners.

Fuck.

He put on a smile. “If I’d known I was meeting you here, I would’ve brought coffee for you.”

Logan didn’t tense, exactly, but his shoulders stiffened slightly. He turned and smiled back. It still wasn’t the smile Finn remembered from that night, wasn’t the one he wanted to see again so badly. “Hey. I see you had the same idea as me.”

“And what’s that?”

He shrugged, indifferent. “Getting intel on your new partners.”

“Nah,” Finn lied as they walked side-by-side to the front desk, “I’m here to brush up on the previous missions against the Snakes’ before our briefing this afternoon. But it’s nice that you want to do your research on us.” He winked. Logan’s lips twitched in an attempt to withhold a smile.

“Can I help you boys?”

Finn turned his bright smile to Lily Potter, who was manning the Archives desk. “Hello, my fellow redhead! We would like the files on past Snakes’ missions, and then the files on Knut, Tremblay, and yours truly, please.”

She arched an eyebrow. “How much time do you have on your hands?”

“Don’t have anything on my schedule until this afternoon. Why?”

“The missions will take you at least two days to get through. It’s probably eight, ten years of files.”

Finn whistled lowly. “Holy shit.”

He hadn’t really thought this through. In his defense, though, it was a spur of the moment idea.

“Well, just the other files, then. Someone over here wants to do research on his new partners.”

Lily sent Logan a curious glance, but left to grab the files. Finn turned to Logan with a flirtatious smile, resting his arm on the desk. “So, what all do you want to know? I’m an open book.”

“I seriously doubt that.”  Logan snorted, nose crinkling in the process.

Finn’s smile turned more genuine. God, he was cute. “Ok, then ask away. Here, I’ll help you out. I’m a Gemini, I graduated from Harvard, I’m a sucker for green eyes, I enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach as long as there’s no seaweed-”

“Why would you think any of that is relevant?”

“I give you all this information and that’s the first question you ask? I’m offended.” Lily chose that moment to return with three files, two significantly thicker than the other one. Finn thanked her and grabbed Logan’s file for himself before passing the other two to Logan.

“Have fun researching!” Finn said as he turned to head for the elevator again. He paused before looking back at Logan and adding with a wink, “Oh, and pass along Nut’s file to me when you’re done reading it.”

***

Remus stepped foot into the briefing room to find Sirius already there, messing with a laptop. Where he got said laptop was unknown. And a little worrying, seeing that he’d shown up in Gryffindor with a bag of clothes, some cash, and nothing else.

He glanced up at Remus and looked him over with a smile. “Good afternoon. Long time, no see.”

“What are you up to?” Remus asked as he set his bag down, clutching his cup of tea in his other hand and looking back at Sirius. There were bags under his eyes, reminding Remus of the fact that he was still sleeping on his couch. Sleeping was a loose term, though. He had also been awake when Remus had gone to bed and when he got up in the morning. Did the man ever sleep?

“Oh, nothing much.” Sirius said, hitting a few keys on the laptop in rapid succession. “Getting ready to brief the cubs.”

“The cubs?”

“Your logo is a lion. And they’re the youngest ones here, right? Hence the cubs.”

“Cute.” Remus sat down in one of the chairs with a sigh and took a sip of his tea. “So what are you briefing them on today?”

“Members of the Snakes. I have a powerpoint with pictures and everything.”

“Oh god.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus. “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun. Better than me droning on and expecting them to stay focused.”

“They’re spies. Sometimes, that’s part of the job.”

“Sure. But it doesn’t have to be.”

Remus smiled a little at that. “How thoughtful of you.”

“I try.”

He hummed, cupping his mug with both hands. “You know, if you were really thoughtful you’d stop leaving your dishes in the sink.”

That startled a laugh out of Sirius. “Now, why would I do that when it’s so fun to get on your nerves?”

“You don’t get on my nerves.”

Sirius arched an eyebrow. “No?”

“No.” He took another sip of tea to hide his smile. “I’m a very patient man.”

Sirius was still laughing by the time Knut, O’Hara, and Tremblay entered the room. They all sat side by side, not really talking much and still a little unsure of each other. That needed to change soon. You couldn’t afford to be doubting your partners while on missions like the ones they’d be getting into.

“Alright, cubs! Let’s get started, shall we?” Sirius asked, connecting the laptop to the room’s projector. “Today we’re going over the members of the Snakes and what all you need to know about them.”

An animated picture of a snake in a party hat showed up on the projector. Remus sighed.

“Ok, so we’ll start at the top.” He switched to the next slide. “This is Riddle. Fuck Riddle. He’s in charge of every little detail of the Snakes, and very paranoid about handing over tasks to other members. He’s got a lot of messed up ideas about ethics and – well, pretty much everything.”

“What’s wrong with his eyes?” Logan asked, still staring uncomfortably at the yellow eyes on the screen.

Sirius shrugged. “I think it’s a genetics thing. Something about liver issues. I never really paid attention. On to the next member!”

A picture of a greasy-haired man with a sour expression on his face glared back at them.

“Snape.” Remus said with disdain. At Sirius’ look, he just shrugged. “Pots has gone up against him a few times. He hates the guy and makes sure everyone knows it. He works in the drug side of their operation.”

“Exactly.” Sirius smiled, which proved to be more distracting than Remus thought it would be. There had been teasing smiles, flirty smiles, sarcastic smiles, but this one was new. This was one of the first genuine smiles he’d seen from the ex-Snake. “I think I like Potter a little more now.”

“I think you two could actually be really good friends, and that terrifies me.”

“Ok, next is Bellatrix. Please, please avoid her as much as possible. She’s certifiably insane.”

Finn frowned. “She’s got one of the flash drives, right?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So it’s going to be up to you to distract her and Leo to grab the drive, probably.”

Both boys paled a little, then looked to each other, seeming to have a silent conversation all their own.

Sirius moved on to the next slide, where a man with cold eyes and a feral smile looked back at them. “This is Fenrir Greyback. Don’t fuck around with this one, he’s ruthless.”

Finn and Logan’s eyes snapped over to Loops, who looked pale and slightly nauseous. His hand was on the juncture of his neck and shoulder, massaging the muscle absentmindedly. Not for the first time, Finn wondered what exactly happened on that mission. All he knew was that Loops was supposed to take Greyback down and he came back with a mutilated shoulder and new cuts on his face that were sure to scar. He hadn’t been back in the field since.

Leo’s gaze moved from one person in the room to the next, slowly piecing together the story. He didn’t know all the details yet, but he knew they couldn’t be good.

Sirius, who was still talking, finally seemed to connect the dots. His eyes got wide and his sentence trailed off to remain incomplete. He stared at Loops in horror. “Fuck.”

“I think that’s enough for today.” Leo said quietly but firmly, getting out of his seat while giving Remus a meaningful look. His partners followed suit. “We can pick this up again tomorrow.”

The three of them left in a hurry, leaving Sirius and Remus alone. Remus started grabbing his meticulously organized notes and shoved them in his bag. He could feel Sirius’ gaze on him, but he refused to look up.

“Listen, Remus, I had no idea –”

“Of course you didn’t.” Remus cut in calmly. “How could you have known? Hell, you probably congratulated him after that mission –”

“That’s not true –”

“But you were there. You knew what he did to people and yet you just stood by.”

“Why do you think I left?” Sirius demanded, his voice raising. Remus finally met his gaze. “You weren’t the only one who got screwed over by the Snakes. I grew up watching that shit, just assuming it was normal because that’s the way it’s always been there. And then I realized my parents were monsters and started thinking for myself and realized how fucked up that organization is. Do you really think I’d be here if I condoned that sort of shit?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t sure you cared. The only motivation for wanting to take the Snakes down that you’ve deigned to share with us is that you want your brother safe. You’ve never said anything about how you feel about the organization itself.”

“What are you smoking?” Sirius asked with an incredulous laugh. “I want my brother safe because he’s in that hellhole. What other reason –”

“Then tell us that!” Remus shouted, finally getting Sirius to stop talking. “You keep everything so close to your chest, you don’t seem to want to interact with any of us, and you don’t tell us anything but the bare minimum. How are we supposed to get anything done if we can’t trust you?”

“That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think? I swear, you’re one of the most guarded people I’ve ever met!”

“Well, you don’t really need to get to know me, do you?” Remus fired back. Sirius froze. “You’re here to take the Snakes down. That’s it. When all this is done, it’s not like you’re going to stay. You don’t have to trust me as a friend, but trust me as an agent.”

“That’s it, huh?” Sirius asked, voice dangerously blank.

“That’s it.”

“Fine.” He said gruffly, slamming the laptop closed and grabbing his jacket from the back of a nearby chair. “I’m headed out. Don’t wait up.”

Remus sighed, staring down at his mug and swirling the now-cold contents. Even though they’d gotten along surprisingly well the past couple of days, they weren’t friends. And they didn’t need to be friends. This was business. They were working together to get a job done. That was all. 

Remus knew that the two of them getting along so well was like an already-lit fuse - it was bound to blow up in their faces sooner rather than later. 

***

Finn walked into the safe room, whistling lowly as he looked around. He’d never been in here before – he hadn’t had a reason to. There were safes of all different types and sizes littered around the room. On tables, on the floor, embedded in the walls. He wondered how many safes there were total, and how long it had taken to collect them all.

Leo was seated criss-cross-applesauce in front of one, pressing a stethoscope against the door of a safe and rotating the dial slowly. Finn smiled a little at the sight. This made more sense, seeing it in action. The constant fidgeting was replaced with stillness, the only movement being those of deft fingers against the dial. All that motion and pent-up energy were now focused solely on the safe. 

He walked up to Leo, completely unnoticed, and tapped on his shoulder. Leo jumped a foot into the air, yanking the stethoscope out of his ears and whirling around to look at Finn. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“Sorry, Nut.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Coming to see you, obviously.” Finn said with a wink. “Tremblay and I were wondering if you wanted to get dinner with us. You know,” Finn made a weird motion with his hand and then cringed, moving his hand behind his back and grabbing it with his other hand to keep from performing any more weird, random movements. “Get to know the team and all that.”

Leo’s smile lit up the room. “I’d love to! Y’all headed out right now?”

Y’all.

Wow, his genteel southern-boy routine could really take him places in this profession. With that combined with his looks, no one would ever think he could possibly be guilty of anything.

“Probably. It’s almost seven.”

Leo blinked, confused. “Is it?” At Finn’s nod, he uncrossed his legs and stretched, his back popping in the process. “Guess we should get going then, huh?”

“Yeah.” Finn held out a hand and helped the blond to his feet. He really was just a giant. How did he find clothes that fit him? Finn glanced down at Leo’s shirtsleeves and - sure enough - they were an inch or two above his wrists. He realized he was sort of staring at this guy’s wrists, of all things, and his eyes shot back up to meet kind, albeit confused, blue eyes. “We were thinking Sid’s for dinner? You been there before?” When Leo shook his head, he groaned. “You’re missing out, Nut. We’re fixing that right now. Come on.”

He led Leo back down the hall to the bullpen, where Logan was still pouring over files. How he ever expected to get through the huge pile of files on his desk, Finn had no idea. “Look alive, Tremblay. We’re getting pizza.”

Logan instantly looked up with a hopeful smile. “Sid’s?”

“Where else?” Finn laughed as Logan shot out of his seat and grabbed his coat. He’d never seen the other agent move so fast. “Hungry?”

Logan turned to look at him, his arm getting stuck in the sleeve of his coat. He grumbled under his breath in a language that definitely wasn’t English and shoved his arm into his sleeve. “I’m going to eat an entire pizza and you can’t stop me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They stepped out of the building together, taking a right and heading down the street. It wasn’t actually that cold outside, for a Gryffindor winter – only thirty-five degrees or so. But Nut still shoved his hands into his pockets and nuzzled his nose into his coat. Finn couldn’t hold back the smile at the sight, noticing red-tipped ears and a slight shiver.

“Cold, Nut?” Logan asked, also noticing the blond’s hunched shoulders.

He looked at his new partners, then buried his nose again. “Don’t judge me. New Orleans winters aren’t nearly this bad.”

“New Orleans, huh?” Logan questioned, although Finn knew he was already aware of Leo’s hometown. It was in his file, after all. “I’ve always wanted to visit.”

“Ooh, yes!” Finn agreed, leading them around a corner. “The home of Mardis Gras.”

Leo shrugged. “If we’re being technical Mobile, Alabama had the first Mardis Gras celebration in the States. We just do it better. There’s a ton of people, though. If you really want to see the city, come at a better time in the year.” He sent the other two boys a smile. “Maybe summer, so you can experience real southern heat. And humidity.”

“No thanks.” They said in unison, making Leo laugh. The conversation trailed off as they waited for the sign at a crosswalk.

“Where are the two of you from?” Leo finally asked as the red hand morphed into a walking man and the ticking from the crosswalk speakers changed tempo. They stepped into the street with Logan staring down cars that could potentially start moving again and hit them.

Finn thought that was cute.

Maybe Finn was looking at his personality the wrong way. Guarded wasn’t the right adjective for him - protective fit much better.

“New York City.” He rushed to answer Leo’s question as they reached the other side of the street, pointing out the Sid’s sign for Leo.

“Canada.” Logan said a bit gruffly, but you could hear the fondness in his voice.

Leo arched an eyebrow. “Now I understand why you’re so accustomed to the cold.”

Finn held open the door to Sid’s, motioning for the other two to go on ahead. “You’ll get used to it, too, Nut. Logan, can you believe he’s never had Sid’s before?”

Logan went off on a tangent about the perfection that is Sid’s margherita pizza as they were led to their table by a young waiter, who eyed them curiously. They sat down and Finn noticed Logan choosing a seat facing the rest of the restaurant, back to the wall. He looked around at the others in the building, only relaxing when he deemed the coast to be clear.

They quickly looked over the menu, Finn and Logan giving recommendations about their favorite dishes (practically all of them) and began telling lighthearted stories about where they were from and how they grew up while waiting for their food. Leo’s leg was constantly bouncing under the table, but he looked happy and relaxed, which Finn took as a good sign. Finn finally, finally got one of those rare New Year’s party smiles again, as well as a new sunny, dimpled smile from Leo - both of which he really wanted to keep seeing.

He didn’t understand why he was making such a big deal of causing his partners to smile.

Ok, he might’ve had a slight idea. But he didn’t want to think about it too hard. Not yet, at least.

It was only when their pizzas arrived that Logan brought out the big guns.

“So what made you decide to do this for a living?” He asked, sticking his tongue out to catch a stray string of cheese from his pizza slice. Finn tried not to follow the motion too closely, for his own sanity. “For me, it was Dumo. He was our next-door neighbor growing up, after we moved from Canada. I remember he was always away on business trips, but he would  come back looking exhausted and a little beat up. I’d go visit Celeste while he was away – she was always so worried, so I knew something was up. I can’t remember exactly how I found out, but I think I was thirteen or so when I figured out what his job was.” Logan shrugged. “Nothing else really interested me after that.”

“You guys are close, then?” Leo asked, maintaining eye contact with Logan and grabbing the container of red pepper flakes, liberally adding it to his pizza. Finn watched on in horror. Had he previously burned all his taste buds off or something?

Logan smiled. “Yeah. He’s like a dad to me. The whole family’s great. I babysit their kids all the time.”

That was a mental image Finn would be thinking about for the foreseeable future. God, he was screwed, wasn’t he?

He hurried to talk and take his mind off of it. “I got recruited right out of college. I’ve got a good memory and a knack for predicting people and how they’ll react to things. I jumped at the opportunity.” 

He smiled fondly at the memories his mind brought up. “My brother and I grew up on James Bond movies. How cool would it be to do that for my career? So I joined. The obvious next step was becoming a conman, I guess. It’s where I fit best.”

They looked to Leo, who seemed mildly embarrassed. “My Mama caught me pickpocketing on Bourbon Street.”

Logan and Finn took a moment to process that, and then cracked up. Leo waited for them to calm back down, smiling sheepishly before he continued, “She said if I was going to do stuff like that, I should at least be doing some good in the world. So she googled and found Gryffindor and asked some recruiters to meet with me. I came home from school one day to Blizzard and Talker sitting on my couch, eating my mom’s jambalaya.” Logan and Finn laughed again while Leo dragged his crust through some marinara sauce. “Next thing I knew, I was driving a moving truck across the country.”

“Do you miss home?” Logan asked, finally shoving his plate away.

Leo shrugged, looking back and forth between the other two knowingly. “Doesn’t everyone miss home, in one way or another?”

Finn wasn’t even sure what home was to him anymore. Maybe he’d figure it out one of these days. He glanced over at his new partners. Logan also looked pensive, apparently grappling with Leo’s words as well. 

Leo seemed completely unfazed, his leg bouncing again. “Does anyone want dessert?”

[pluckyredhead]

WIP snippets meme

I was tagged by @irolltwenties! This doesn’t count the WIPs that are semi-abandoned or live solely in my head.

1. Working Title: jondami fwb | Fandom: DC Comics/Super Sons/Robin | JonDamian (E) A slowburn of Damian figuring out what he wants and that he’s allowed to want it. It’s currently about 14K and maybe...1/4 to 1/3 of the way finished? This is gonna be a long one.

Damian stared. “Do I what?”

“Date,” Jon said. “I mean, that’s a thing people do. They go on dates. They date. And you’re…”

He trailed off. Damian waited. “I’m what?”

Now Jon’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose looked faintly pink, although that might have been the last of the sunrise. “Well, you’re really good-looking, you’re insanely rich, and you’re living it up at college. I would have thought you’d be carrying on the whole billionaire playboy tradition. Isn’t it part of the disguise? Like my glasses.”

Damian had always found those both to be idiotic traditions. Dating a string of socialites, mostly for show, sounded exhausting. And he’d never understood how people could look at Jon in a cheap pair of plastic frames and not see what he really was.

2. Birds All Sing As If They Knew Chapter 4 | Fandom: DC Comics/Red Hood and the Outlaws | JayRoy (G) The Batfamily finds out, plus more Arrowfam fluff.

Ollie’s basement, however, was big enough to house not just a fully equipped gym, complete with plenty of room for sparring, but also the workshop of Roy’s dreams. Literally—Ollie had claimed a corner to work on the hand-carved yew recurve bows and straight pine arrows he preferred, and made Roy design the rest to suit his own needs.

“You’re the one who likes experimenting with new trick arrows and I don’t know what else,” he’d said, waving a hand at the empty half of the basement soon after he’d bought the house. “Might as well put you to work making them for me and the kids. Just tell me what they are before I put them in my quiver, and don’t blow up my house.”

The fact that he’d framed it like a cranky demand hadn’t really disguised that he was gifting Roy with carte blanche to build his own playground, but they’d both pretended it did.

3. Love for Sale coda | Fandom: DC Comics/Red Hood and the Outlaws | JayRoy (E) This one’s just gonna be porn, folks, I don’t know what else to tell you.

“Did you have fun at the supermarket?” Roy asked, trying not to sound too amused.

“Well, I didn’t kill anyone.” Jason raked an unhappy hand through his wet hair.

Roy slid a couple of boxes of dino nuggets into the freezer. Jason had been converted to their allure pretty quickly. “Always a plus.”

“Not always,” Jason said, scowling.

“Poor baby,” Roy said, and closed the freezer. “Want me to make it up to you?”

Jason’s eyebrows went up as Roy sashayed into his space. “Sorry, but as soon as this stuff is put away, I’m passing out until dinnertime.”

Roy snagged his shirt with a finger and tugged him toward the bedroom, flashing a suggestive smile over his shoulder. “The groceries can wait.”

Jason sighed, but let Roy tow him into their room. “This is pretty optimistic, you know. I’m dead on my feet.”

Roy knew he could drop it - offer to finish putting the groceries away and let Jason sleep. His surprise would keep, and it wasn’t like Jason hadn’t earned a little rest.

But he wanted to show Jason he could give him more than rain and drudgery and chores. He wanted to prove he’d been worth leaving Gotham for.

4. Working Title: jayroy shifter au | Fandom: DC Comics/Red Hood and the Outlaws | JayRoy (E) The epic werewolf/werefox saga no one asked for!

“Jason.”

Roy and Jason both froze. Roy looked over the top of Jason’s head to see Bruce and Dick standing in the doorway. Dick had his hands clapped over his mouth - to hide horror or amusement, Roy wasn’t sure. Bruce, on the other hand, looked even less happy to have Roy there than he’d looked before, which was saying something.

Roy sat very still. Jason slowly eased back, and Roy caught an expression of pure chagrin on his face before he turned to face Bruce.

“Exactly what did you think you were doing?” Bruce asked.

“I...uh…” Jason tried, before apparently giving up on explaining himself verbally. Suddenly there was a black and russet wolf cub sitting on the couch next to Roy.

5. Working Title: guykyle | Fandom: DC Comics/Green Lantern | GuyKyle (E) Exactly what it says on the tin.

Guy made himself look away, scowling down at the glasses in front of him instead as he finally put the one he’d been holding down and reached for another. This was becoming a problem.

He wasn’t really sure when it had started. It wasn’t like Kyle looked any different than he’d always looked, really. It had been years and he hadn’t changed a bit since the day he’d first shown up wearing Hal’s old ring and looking overwhelmed. Since Guy had given him an appraising once-over and thought no way in hell is pretty boy here gonna last.

Kyle had lasted. And he was still pretty.

Not that Guy gave a shit. So Kyle always looked like he’d just stepped off the cover of Tiger Beat or something, even when he was running on days without sleep and covered in alien ichor. Guy’s sensitive Pollyanna of an artist was a fucking badass. He still couldn’t throw a punch worth a damn, but he’d mix it up with bruisers ten times his size like he knew what he was doing, and no one could touch him when it came to constructs. Hell, he’d been a god three or four times and given it up without even a whiff of going mad with power. There was no one in the cosmos Guy trusted more at his back.

But he was so fucking pretty.

Tagging: @queenitsy, @purls-of-lizdom, @returnsandreturns, @theladyragnell, @atasteforsuicidal, and anyone else who would like to play!

[jaskierswolf]

The Grass is Greener Pt.1/3

Summary: Jaskier's mother is coming to stay and his garden is an absolute mess and his lawn mower has seen better days... luckily for him his ridiculously hot neighbour is there to lend a hand. 

Geraskier

CW: Shitty parents being shitty.

(Prompted by @alwenarin and based on this post by @infinite-mirrors)

________

Jaskier stared forlornly out at his garden. His mother was due to come over on her yearly visit and the next few days of his life were going to be hell. His mother was the sort to blast into his life like a fucking tornado, pull apart everything that he had built for himself and leave him broken, shattered into a thousand shards of glass. He wasn’t even sure why he still let her in, probably some childhood trauma that meant he was desperate to please her, to make her proud, but what did he know? He wasn’t a therapist, much to her displeasure. Anything would have been better in her eyes than a musician and occasional bartender.

He didn’t make much money. His band hadn’t taken off yet and only really had a small but dedicated following online that donated pocket money in exchange for small previews of new tracks or little poems that could be given to lovers or in greetings cards. Most of his rent was paid for in the tips he made at the bar. He was lucky to have the house at all really. He shared it with his housemates: Priscilla, his bandmate and ex, Essi, her younger sister, Valdo Marx, his former schoolmate, professional rival and absolutely twat face who lurked in his attic room and never really came out to talk to them, and last but not least, Regis, a kind scholarly type who had been living in the house before the other rooms had become available and most importantly made excellent homemade gin.

Said housemates had agreed to fuck off for the weekend so he could pretend that the house was his in a last ditched attempt win over his mother.

Of course, none of them had helped to tidy up before leaving and he’d spent the last twenty-four hours deep cleaning the house, and bolting the door to Regis’s bathroom shut. The gin in the bathtub wasn’t ready to bottle yet and he wasn’t exactly going to drain the tub of his elixir. He’d moved the furniture in his friend’s rooms around enough to make it look like they weren’t extra bedrooms, more… rooms that just happened to have beds in case he had company. Priscilla’s room now resembled a music room, Essi’s room had been turned into a makeshift study, Valdo’s he’d left a mess and claimed it was just an attic, and Regis’s room was sort of a library if you squinted hard enough.

That just left the garden.

“Bollocks!” He moaned.

None of them really cared much about the garden, apart from the box down the end which housed Regis’s herb garden for cooking. The rest of the garden a mess. The grass was practically a wild meadow filled with weeds. He quite liked it. He enjoyed looking at the dandelions, daisies and buttercups but his mother would have a fit.

Where was he even going to start?

Lawnmower. They must have one. He stumbled through his back door onto the patio and made his way to the shed that honestly barely lived up to its name. It was falling apart and leaked horrendously, but luckily inside was one rusty looking lawnmower.

“Bingo!” He grinned and pulled the mower out of the shed. It was heavier than it looked but luckily Jaskier was also stronger than he looked. Even so he wasn’t entirely how he was going to start the damn thing.

Perhaps Geralt would know…

Fuck.

Geralt.

Geralt had just adopted a newborn baby. Her name was Ciri. Most of the time Geralt just called her ‘Cub’ which Jaskier found to be incredibly endearing, a fact that had nothing to do with his teensy little crush on the mechanic.

He pulled up Geralt’s number in his phone. He’d been delighted when Geralt had given him his number, yes maybe it was because Jaskier kept turning up at Geralt’s doorstep after shifts at work because he’d forgotten his keys and none of his bastard housemates were answering the door and Geralt just happened to have a spare key, but the main thing is he had Geralt’s number.

After that they’d conversed a few times over text. Mostly if one of them was running to the shops and wanted to know if the other needed anything. Occasionally Geralt would text to ask Jaskier if he could watch Ciri for a short while if Geralt needed to leave the house. Once Geralt had even given him a lift to work because Jaskier’s bike had gotten a flat tire and he didn’t have enough time to walk all the way to the bar. So they weren’t exactly strangers but he wouldn’t really call them friends.

In fact Geralt was still listed as Hot Neighbour in his phone. He meant to change it, it was just that you couldn’t argue with the truth. Geralt was his hot neighbour.

 J —Hey Geralt! Is it ok if I mow my lawn? I don’t want to wake Ciri if she’s asleep. :)

He stared at his phone intently until about an eternity later, Geralt replied.

 G — The child must not be an obstacle.

Jaskier snorted as he read the response. He read it aloud a couple of times trying to mimic Geralt’s rough husky voice and managed to give himself the giggles.

His phone buzzed again.

 G — I can hear you laughing at me.

“Oh shit!” He almost dropped his phone and his cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Sorry Geralt!” He called into the air.

 G— Hmm.

Jaskier scoffed. Who text back “Hmm”? And why did Jaskier still find that so attractive?

But never mind that! He had the green light. Operation Finally Make His Mother Proud, or FMHMP for short, and yes you could absolutely say that if you tried hard enough, was go! He was going to mow the lawn like a proper adult!

He tried for about six years to turn the mower on but without any success. He kicked the lawnmower in frustration and the whole damned thing fell apart.

“Fuck it!” He yelled as he hopped about on his good foot that hadn’t been battered by lawnmower.

He sulked back into the house and flopped down dramatically on the sofa. It was over. His mother was going to hate him and he would die as a disgrace to the Pankratz name and the Lettenhove estate.

He was half way through his pity party when the doorbell rang. He grabbed his phone to check the time. Strange, his mother wasn’t due for another three hours.

“What the fuck?” He mused and padded over to the door. To his surprise Geralt was standing on his doorstep with Ciri tucked safely into a baby sling on his chest and behind him was a shiny lawnmower. “Ah. Geralt!” He grinned.

Geralt turned to the lawnmower and back to him. “Thought you might need some help.”

Jaskier blushed. “Right. Yes. Of course. Come on in!” He stood back to let Geralt through. “Oh, actually do you want to come round the side gate? The lawnmower probably shouldn’t come through the house. I’ve just cleaned up.”

Geralt grunted but followed Jaskier around the side of the house and into the back garden.

“What the fuck, Jaskier?” He grumbled when he saw the state of the lawn. “I thought you said you were mowing the lawn, not trying to find it!”

“Ah, yes, well. That is an excellent point.” Jaskier stammered, pulling at the hem of his shirt nervously. “You see my mother is visiting.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “Your mother, how old are you? Twelve?”

Jaskier gaped at his neighbour. “Geralt!” He whined. “I’m twenty-nine! Mother is just a cow.”

“Hmm. Fine. Let’s do this.” Geralt pulled Ciri gently out of her sling and passed her to Jaskier. “Hold her. I need to grab her stuff. This will take longer than I thought.”

“Oh hang on!” Jaskier called after Geralt but it was too late and Ciri began to cry. “Umm. There there.” He cooed and rocked her gently. “Shall I sing you a lullaby, cub?”

She didn’t answer, babies rarely did, so he decided a lullaby would be fine and began to sing in hushed tones as he rocked her in his arms. Geralt wasn’t long but he seemed surprise to come back to Jaskier rocking his daughter to sleep in his arms.

“Hmm. She likes you.” Geralt noted.

He was carrying Ciri’s car seat and a bag was slung over his shoulder. In his other hand was a large electric contraption with some nasty blades at the end. He dumped the scary looking monster and placed the travel cot on the patio table. Once Ciri was safely asleep they got to work.

Or more accurately, Geralt got to work. Jaskier mostly just watched and made sure Geralt had all the refreshments he needed. He also kept the conversation going by listing all the grievances his mother had with him from her last visit, Geralt hummed and grunted but didn’t offer much in return but it didn’t matter. Jaskier was more than capable of holding an entire conversation by himself.

“And then she starts wittering on about how my sister has a perfect husband and a darling little angel.” Jaskier moaned. “So of course then it’s ‘Julian why don’t you have a wife?’”

“Julian?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier glared at his neighbour. “Don’t ever call me that, I beg of you.”

Geralt shrugged. “I won’t. Just asking.”

“And I tell her, for the hundredth time, to say partner or spouse or lover or you know… not gender specific because she knows! Geralt! She knows. I don’t know how many times I have to tell her.” Jaskier sighed. “Oh, umm I’m bisexual just to give you some context there.”

Geralt nodded. “Right.”

“So of course she starts complaining that I always have to make everything gay, and I’m like… ‘Mother, I am gay!’” Jaskier announced with wide arms.

Geralt looked up at him, pausing halfway down the lawn that was now starting to resemble a lawn. “So why not tell her you’re seeing someone?” He asked. “Solve both problems if you say it’s a guy.”

Jaskier put his hands on his hips and tilted his head. “Yeah.” He scoffed. “Until she asks to meet him.”

Geralt shrugged. “I could do it.”

Jaskier’s heart jumped in his chest. “You what? Geralt!”

“My ex has been bothering me about finding someone.” He grumbled. “Two birds, One stone.”

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at his insanely hot neighbour who was now apparently suggesting they… fake date??

“What exactly are you suggesting here?” Jaskier asked slowly. “You pretend to be my boyfriend for my mother’s visit and we what? Send a few photos to your ex to prove you’re moving on?”

Geralt smirked. “As long as you promise not to fall in love with me.”

Jaskier’s jaw dropped.

Well fuck. _______

Next