#and the cow bugs apparently???

[puppiesareperfect]

watched futurama for the first time ever last night. good show! 👍👍

[lookforsomeoneelse]

New Simulated Universe Update (SAHSRAU btw)

Can you tell i made a d in english? because I didn’t. Sorry about that. Anyway, I had some brainrot about how busted our blessings would be in sahsrau SU, because, like, everybody and their mother in that au would basically throw everything they love out of the window for us to throw a single glance at them. Also, this takes inspo from other works. Yeah, yeah, I’m a plagiarist, I know.

Let’s say you play Honkai: Star Rail. You’re a big fan- you’ve been playing since launch, have an excellent team comp, and have cleared all of the story and side content.

However, the game’s been… in a content drought for a while, roughly about 3 months without a single update- not even a patch or bug fix! That’s odd. Hoyo would have normally announced at least a single character by now, wouldn’t they?

And, getting extremely bored, and with nothing else to do, you seriously consider taking a break from the game. After all, there’s nothing to do.

Except farm. And you’re getting tired of even that.

But just then, a miracle happens- or at least it’s a miracle to you. The game finally gets an update. You’re confused- they should have announced that in some shape or form, but you also get excited. What have they added this time?

And then you find out, much to your dissatisfaction and/or disappointment, that they just doubled down and just added in a new version of the Simulated Universe, called “Simulated Universe: New Game +” to “fix” the lack of content- they’re just making you do SU again- but hey, they also added another Aeon along with it, so that should count for lore!

So you go and wait for it to download and open it up.

When you do, you’re notified in game of a text message from Herta. Uncharacteristically, its tone is noticeably off from how she normally acts- practically begging you to please please please come to her office- because apparently, she’s dug up some info on this new Aeon that’s apparently been around for the longest time, and she’s finally managed to obtain enough data to create a simulated version of THEM- thirsty for something to do, you oblige, using a space anchor to reach her. Surprisingly, there’s only one available for your use.

Once you actually arrive, a cutscene plays, depicting Herta, once again very much out of character, grabbing on to the trailblazer’s arm and practically dragging them across the space station to her office, the widest grin on the puppet’s face. “Huh,” you think to yourself, “She must have struck gold if she’s acting all crazy like this.”

Once you actually make it inside- Herta finally gives you a complete explanation of what’s happening- she’s “finally” dug up enough information about this Aeon that you “should already know” and that you should also “start immediately.”

You do, and you’re met with a new path for blessings- Guidance, and holy cow, is-is that 300% break effect and 180% damage and 50% crit rate boost? What? That’s insane- what is the dev team doing with their game???

Obviously, you pick it- it’s the only option available, and even if there were other options, this one would likely be the best.

As you and your party traverse through the station, and obtain absolutely absurd blessings- all damage dealt will have the character gain a shield equal to half of that permanently, follow up attacks trigger twice, all characters gain a self-revive- it’s really bad balancing on Hoyoverse’s part, and it’s the greatest power trip you’ve had while playing this game so far. But it’s also getting boring. One shotting everything isn’t exactly the best thing to do on loop, and the game throws you a bone in the form of finally meeting the Aeon that Herta was talking about.

However, before that happens, Herta pulls you aside- and you can’t believe it, but she’s even more out of character now- hell, she’s fangirling, saying stuff like “I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I was a baby” and urging you to give the Aeon the absolute utmost respect- and to never forget to do it.

As it turns out, the so-called “interaction” between you and THEM is just dialogue describing how you will always serve and praise them for all eternity- and you seriously take into consideration getting whatever the hell the writers have been smoking over the past couple months to put this down on paper and call it a good idea.

Weirded out by very strange design choices, you decide that it’s time for a break after all is said and done, and close the app.

If this is the legitimate road that Hoyoverse is going down, you’re worried about the future of the game.

You should really be more worried about your future, sweetie. After all, they’re all working so hard to bring you to them through that screen.

They love you. So so much.

[solarmorrigan]

For the dialogue prompt, how about “What happened doesn’t change anything” for either Steddie or Newmann?

Thank you!

Hello hello hello I finally have something for you! I chose Steddie for this one, since I was on a roll. I hope this suits!

[post-S2 Steddie AU; CW: Outing, transphobia, some internalized transphobia; soft ending guaranteed, though]

-

When he sees Hagan meandering over towards them in the parking lot after school, his queen bee tagalong, Perkins, in tow, Eddie knows nothing good is going to follow. The way he feels Steve shift beside him says that he suspects much the same. The rest of the Hellfire guys, all gathered around Eddie’s van, talking and joking before heading home, have fallen silent.

It’s a small consolation that Hagan isn’t trailing Hargrove; since putting Steve in the hospital (briefly, Steve always interjects) last November, Hargrove has mostly given him—and the members of the Hellfire Club, once Steve had been taken into their fold—a fairly wide berth. Hagan, however, has had no compunctions about hassling Steve whenever he gets a bug up his ass about something, and he’s only become nastier since he started toadying for Hargrove.

So Eddie expects trouble, but he hadn’t expected–

Hagan starts small, crowing about how Steve has finally found his rightful place: among the freaks. Steve doesn’t give anything away, no displeasure, no anger, just bored indifference – the same mask he’s always hidden behind (the one Eddie had learned pretty quickly to see past, once he knew what to look for). But Hagan pushes.

“I guess the freaks already have a king,” Hagan snipes, cutting a glance at Eddie, “but I’m sure he needs a lady to rule by his side, right, Stevie?”

It seems like an unoriginal sort of dig—calling Steve a girl, how creative—except Steve goes pale. The mask slips, showing wide and frightened eyes for just a moment, but for Hagan, who’s known Steve for years, it’s long enough. He knows he’s hit something good.

“Do all your new little friends know, Stevie-boy? What makes you fit right in with them?” Hagan glances around the group, apparently enjoying the fact that if looks could kill, he’d be dead four times over. Then he leans in and practically spits at Steve, “Do they know that they got into your pants, you’d be less of a King Steve and more of a Queen Stacy?”

And that does it – shatters Steve’s mask so thoroughly that he actually takes a step back, staring at Hagan with a kind of disbelieving betrayal frozen on his face.

The full meaning of the words hits Eddie about three seconds before Hagan hits the side of the van, one of Eddie’s hands fisted in the front of his t-shirt and the other held firm at the base of his throat – not hurting, exactly, but heavily implying that he could.

Eddie doesn’t even have to reach for one of the many theatrical voices he uses to rile people up or cow them into submission; he’s so thoroughly taken by a type of rage he hasn’t let himself give into in a long time that his tone comes out perfectly threatening all on its own.

“If you ever repeat what you just said to another person, I will find out, and I will make your life a living hell,” he hisses.

Somewhere behind him, someone—it might be Jeff, though Eddie isn’t sure—clears their throat, and when Eddie tosses a glance over his shoulder, he finds the rest of Hellfire standing firm at his back (even tiny underclassman Gareth, with his arms crossed and the meanest look on his face the poor kid can muster).

“Ah, my apologies,” Eddie says as he faces front again, flashing a manic little grin, “we will find out. And we’ll ruin your life, Hagan. Same goes for your girlfriend.”

Perkins, who had been standing off to the side as the snickering peanut gallery right up until Eddie had pinned Hagan to the side of the van, makes a choked noise of offense that goes entirely ignored.

“Tell me you understand, Tommy-boy.” Eddie punctuates the command with a flex of his fingers near Hagan’s throat, until Hagan reluctantly nods, and Eddie releases him. “Glad we’re in agreement.”

Hagan and Perkins hightail it the other side of the parking lot, leaving them be with nothing more than a nasty look from Perkins, but no one is much in the mood to chat after that. No one really knows what to say – except Steve, who offers a quiet thanks to the rest of the guys and, having caught a ride in with Eddie that morning, then asks to be taken home.

Even with the radio playing quietly as Eddie drives, the atmosphere in the van feels silent and stifling.

Asking Steve if he’s alright feels like kind of a ridiculous move. Eddie wouldn’t be alright if he was in Steve’s position – hell, Eddie’s not alright. He’s pissed. But from the way Steve is sitting rigidly in the passenger seat, staring out the window like Eddie is driving him to his execution, Eddie’s anger—even on his behalf—isn’t what he needs right now.

Slowly, Eddie forces himself to let it go (for now, at least for now) and follow the familiar roads home.

It feels perfectly natural to simply head back to his place, where they’d been planning to go before that shitshow of a confrontation, though the surprise on Steve’s face when they pull up to the trailer says that he’d thought otherwise.

“You could’ve just taken me back to my house. I wouldn’t– I’d get it,” he says, and Eddie frowns at him.

“Did you want to go back to your house? We can hang out there if you want, I just figured…” Eddie tilts his head regarding him carefully. “You seem more comfortable here.”

Steve stares at him for a long moment, blank and uncertain, before he breaks back into motion with a shrug. “Okay,” he says, moving to get out of the van.

They head inside and nod a quick hello to Wayne, who looks like he’s just woken up in preparation for his shift, and then they go straight back to Eddie’s room. Eddie’s bag goes on the desk, but Steve’s goes by the door. Eddie sits down on the bed (admittedly one of the few places to sit, but also an invitation for Steve to come sit next to him) but Steve – Steve hesitates before leaning up against the wall, by the door with his bag, arms crossed and gaze cast towards the floor.

He looks ready to run at any moment, and Eddie sighs. This thing between them is new – so new that they’ve been afraid to put a label to it, dancing around each other uncertainly for months before sharing their first kiss barely a month ago. They’ve spent almost every available moment since with their hands on each other in some way or another, though Steve has been a bit skittish about moving past making out (Eddie had thought that maybe it was the unfamiliarity of being with another guy, but he thinks he might have a better understanding of the picture now).

Eddie doesn’t want to break things by pushing too hard, but somehow, he thinks leaving it unaddressed would be worse.

“Look, we don’t have to talk about it,” he says, watching Steve, though Steve still isn’t looking back, “but if you want to…”

Steve shrugs. “I wasn’t hiding it from you,” he says, finally glancing up at Eddie. “I mean, I was, but not– I was going to tell you.”

“You don’t owe me any kind of explanation,” Eddie says.

“You would’ve found out eventually, either way.” Steve lets out a sound that suggests he may have been trying to laugh. “But it was – I should’ve been the one to tell you. That was – that was mine to tell.”

A little bit of Eddie breaks as Steve’s voice does. He’s almost vibrating with the desire to hold and to reassure, to go over to where Steve is standing, still propped against the wall, practically curling in on himself (trying to make himself smaller), but he’s not sure how well it would be received. He tries words, instead.

“Steve, I’m so sorry–”

“That was the one thing,” Steve snaps, anger tearing across his tone, “the one thing Tommy would never touch, the one thing that was off limits, even he knew– and he just–” As quickly as it had come, the anger goes, taking Steve’s energy with it. He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes and lets his hands slide down to cover his face; when he speaks again, he sounds small. “I wasn’t ready.”

Eddie couldn’t keep himself from crossing the room if he’d tried – though isn’t trying, after that. He’s up off the bed and into Steve’s space before he’s even realized, and it’s probably only his proximity that allows him to hear what Steve says next.

“I’m not ready for things to change between us.”

“Steve,” Eddie says, low and careful, “what happened doesn’t change anything.”

Steve pulls his hands away from his face with a derisive little huff of a laugh. His cheeks are red and his eyes are bright; he’s not crying, but it looks like a near thing.

“It’s – like, I get it. You’re fully into guys, and I’m…” He waves his hands down at himself, sharp and frustrated. “Most people wouldn’t call me a real guy, if they knew.”

“Since when am I most people?” Eddie asks. “You say you’re a guy, you’re a real guy, fucking end of. Anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off.”

Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes, clearly trying to hold back a much more emotional reaction, and Eddie chances resting his hands on Steve’s shoulders. Steve doesn’t move away, even eases a little into the touch when Eddie starts circling his thumbs at the skin right where his shirt collar ends.

“You don’t have to believe me right now,” Eddie says softly. “But I like you, Steve. I like you, andI’m gonna stick around and prove it to you.”

Something about the declaration makes Steve’s eyes snap right to Eddie’s, searching, anxious and cautiously hopeful, and Eddie lets him look. Whatever he’s after, maybe he finds it, because he uncurls from himself a little after that, just enough to lean in for a hesitant kiss that becomes much more certain when Eddie himself doesn’t hold back.

Eddie pulls Steve back over to the bed after that, poking and prodding him around until they’re both settled, Eddie’s back to the pillows and Steve’s back to Eddie’s chest (Steve’s never said as much, but Eddie’s gathered that this is one of his favorite positions to cuddle in; he doubts if Steve’s spent much time being the little spoon).

“Tell me something else,” Eddie says, once he’s got his arms wrapped securely around Steve’s waist.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Tell me something that you want me to know.” Eddie leans forward to press a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Anything.”

For a moment, Steve is quiet, thinking as he traces absent patterns over Eddie’s forearms. “I could tell you why I picked Steve,” he says finally.

“If you want to, I’d love to hear it,” Eddie says.

“It wasn’t because it was sort of close to my… old name. That was actually kind of a coincidence.” Steve lets his head fall back against Eddie’s shoulder, the tension that’s been wound through him for the last hour finally starting to ease. “Steven was my grandad’s name.”

“Yeah?” Eddie prompts softly.

“Yeah. My mom’s dad. I used to spend a lot of time over at his house when I was a kid. Before he died. I kind of got the feeling he liked me more than my parents did.” Eddie gives Steve a squeeze around the middle. “But he used to tell me all these stories about fighting in World War II. Probably not very age-appropriate, now that I think about it, but at the time I really ate it up.

“He didn’t really, like… glorify it, I don’t think? He just kind of told me what happened, good or bad, and whatever the story was, I always thought he sounded, y’know – strong and brave. And when I wanted to pick a new name…” Steve shrugs against Eddie. “I kind of hoped he wouldn’t mind sharing his with me.”

“Bet he’d be honored,” Eddie says, giving Steve another little squeeze.

“Some days I’m not so sure,” Steve says quietly.

“Well I am. I’ll just have to stick around and prove that to you, too,” Eddie says decisively.

Briefly, Steve’s hands tighten where they rest on Eddie’s arms. “I like the sound of that,” he says, and Eddie turns so he can press another kiss to the side of Steve’s head.

“Good,” he says. “Me too.”

[chiefladylightyay]

Ruby: Last week we went on a trip to Oscar's farm (or was it ranch?) because Penny wanted to see, and I quote, the grass puppers.

Weiss: I got bit by who knows how many bugs.

Ruby: But Penny did get to see the cows. Or grass puppers as they're apparently also called.

Weiss: Her interacting with the cows was utterly adorable, so it was worth it. I am never going again. *scratches at a bug bite*

Penny: Friends! I want to see the sea puppers next!

Ruby: And the adventure continues.

[cosmerelists]

The Most Annoying Things About Living on Roshar

Notice that I said annoying. I’m not talking about real problems like, uh, slavery and war crimes and a broken social system and etc etc. I’m talking about things that I think would just kinda be annoying about living in Stormlight Archive.

1. You can’t tell little white lies about how you’re feeling.

Thanks to those pesky emotion spren always showing how you’re REALLY feeling! As illustrated here: https://www.tumblr.com/taravangians-storming-balls/716486386153291776/me-if-i-lived-on-roshar

2. If you’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, you have to be religious to get food variety.

Are you a woman? Sweet food only! Are you a man? Spicy/savory food only! Want the food of a gender not your own? Looks like you need to join the church! 

Like...what?

3. Nothing is fluffy.

Outside of Shinovar, everything on Roshar is a crab. Crab-dogs, crab-cows, crab-bugs, crab-crabs, you get it. Which is great if you’re an animal who wants to be protected from the constantly dangerous weather, but bad if you’re a human who, like me, wants to pet things that are fluffy. I just feel like petting an axehound isn’t quite the same.

4. If you’re an Alethi woman with naturally hot hands, life sucks.

Now, I wouldn’t understand this myself, since I have icy hands forever, but some women have hands that naturally run hot. And yet those same women must, if they’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, keep one hand covered at all times. That must be torture for Lady Hot Hands.

5. If you’re an Alethi man, you can’t kick back with a nice book.

At least prior to Dalinar, Alethi men could never just, like, chill out with a lovely book...at least, not without joining the church. And just because many men didn’t realize their loss does not make it any less sad. 

6. “We’ve gotta get you a spren.”

Adolin is like the last main character to not have a spren. And I remember when someone said something like “We gotta get you a spren!” to Adolin in the same “jovial” tones as people keep saying, “You need a girlfriend!” to Kaladin. And that’s a lot of pressure. I think it would be annoying, especially to people who just don’t want to join the Radiants thank you very much.

7. You can’t share funny undertext with your guy friends.

If I were reading a book aloud to one of my guy friends and there was a funny undertext, I would be legitimately bummed that I was forbidden to share it with him due to a seemingly worldwide ladies agreement to hide the existence of the undertext from men. But, like, what if it was really funny?

8. The anxiety of constantly leaking Stormlight.

Gems constantly leak Stormlight, and they can only be renewed during storms. People are fairly casual about this in the books, but man, that would make me SO anxious, especially during the Weeping when apparently it’s just expected that all gems will just sort of run out. Like, in my actual life, if there’s a power outage, I’m there huddled like a little ferret nervously checking my phone battery every few seconds, watching the battery percentage tick slowly down and fretting about how I can’t recharge it until the power comes back on but who KNOWS when that will be.

...Okay, so maybe this one is just me. 

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

What native Gallifreyan species are there?

Gallifrey has a diverse range of fauna, both native and introduced. Despite claims of minimal ecological impact, the installation of the Eye of Harmony and millions of years of Time Lord civilisation have significantly altered Gallifrey's original biosphere.

🦋 Invertebrates

Beatitude Flies: Begin as maggots and pupate into golden-winged nocturnal insects. They use nectar to create helium in their bellies and are attracted to light and decay.

Butterflies: Various species flutter across Gallifrey.

Bees: Essential for pollination.

Gullet Grubs: Likely to live in digestive tracts of larger mammals, or similar environments.

Blossom Thieves: Possibly insects that steal nectar or pollen.

Scrubblers: Likely small, cleaning insects.

Neversuch Beetles, Sandbeetles, Waspbeetles: Various beetles.

Dustworms: Likely live in dry, dusty environments.

Scissors Bugs: Possibly predatory insects with sharp mandibles.

Flutterwings: Gigantic insects (3 meters by 25 meters) that never land. Five races include Wild Endeavor, Mandrigal, Silver-Band, Blue Crystal, and Perdition.

Snails

Water-Sligs: Likely aquatic or semi-aquatic molluscs.

Web-Spinning Insects: Including spiders about an inch long.

Other dangerous invertebrates: There are also nasty creatures that live beneath big stones.

🐟 Marine Life

Singing Yaddlefish: Notable for their song, and they can be eaten.

Kittensharks: Hatch from eggs and presumably grow into Catsharks.

Axolotl Salamanders: Amphibious creatures with regenerative abilities.

🐍 Elapids

Taipan: A venomous snake, 10 metres long.

Venal Snakes: Possibly nest-stealers or highly venomous.

Bat-Snakes: Presumably flying snakes.

Dinosauria: 20-meter-long reptiles resembling brontosaurs with thick chitinous scales and serrated teeth.

🦅 Avians

Owls: Symbol of Rassilon.

Flurry Birds: Likely small, fast-moving birds.

Trunkikes: Game birds whose eggs are often eaten.

Air Diamonds: Fly in the upper atmosphere, possibly crystalline or bioluminescent.

Song Birds: Various species.

Gargantosaurs: Dinosaur-like creatures, twice the size of a hab-bloc, with two legs, vestigial wings (with purple and white feathers), and four eyes.

🦣 Mammals

Plungbolls: Thumbnail-sized furry creatures living in mountains, attach en masse to warm objects.

Taffelshrews: Edible rodent-like mammals.

Fledershrews: Bat-like, mushroom eaters, nearly extinct.

Cobblemice: Mice that sprout wings.

Rovie Mice: Field-dwelling, long-lived if kept safe, sometimes pets. They have short memories.

Moss-Rats: Possibly rodents that live in marshes with moss-like camouflage.

Vex: Burrowing animals.

Gallifreyan Womprats: 1-metre-long rats with fifteen legs.

Pig-Rats: Inhabit the Drylands, presumably combining porcine and rodent traits.

Rabbits

Flubbles: Small six-legged koalas.

Unnamed rounder rabbit-like creatures

Ounce-Apes: Might be tiny monkeys that are particularly agile.

Sealak: Perhaps a kind of seal, often eaten.

Bear-Ass: A donkey-like animal with bear-like qualities.

Horse-Cats: Probably a horse/cat hybrid-like species.

Sagittary: Horse-like creatures.

Elephants

Pig-Bears: Can be trained as pets.

Wolf-like Creatures: With long snouts and black-and-white striped fur, almost as big as adult humanoids.

Broakir: Live in foothills, often hunted for food.

Baanjxx: Arboreal browsers that like to eat hallucinogenic cerub nuts. As a child, the Doctor was kicked by one in the head, apparently.

Cows

Walrus

Gallifreyan Marlot: Purple and unique in all of time and space. Probably a bit cat-like.

House Cats: Revered as symbols of intelligence. Traditionally, Presidents kept them as pets.

🐱 Killer Cats (C.A.T.S)

Killer C.A.T.S: These sapient creatures possess instinctive precognitive powers and cat-like physiology. Known for their lethal gladiatorial contests, they despise Time Lord traditions and live in the Gin-Seng Sector of Southern Gallifrey. Their culture includes mercenaries and oracles; they are telepathic.

🏞️ Ecosystem Preservation

Though Gallifrey's outer ecology has suffered, the Time Lords have used technology to preserve many species. Extinct species have been collected, ensuring none become completely extinct. The more fearsome creatures are contained in the Death Zone, while xeno-zoos hold alien species from other worlds.

🏫 So ...

So there's your whistlestop tour of the species on Gallifrey. One day, I'll try to put these onto a species distribution map. Oh, by Rassilon's Beard, I just gave myself more work.

Related:

💬|🪐🌍How is Gallifreyan geography different to Earth?: The landscape of Gallifrey.

📺|🌳🍎The Fruits of Gallifrey

💬|🐾🐱What could be some biological traits of Gin-Seng cats?: Looking at who the Gin-Seng cats are, their biology, and their place on Gallifrey and in society.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired😴

[gatheringbones]

[“Terry’s hair was long & thick, bleached blond, perhaps because she wanted to be a princess in a fairy tale instead of real. We wrote letters to one another, passionately declaring our eternal love, which the technicians stole. One night when she was sitting on my bed in the dorm after lights out, as I brushed her hair, they threw on the lights in a frenzy of disgust & separated us for being lesbians. We were too drugged and too frightened to do more than hold hands. The head nurse was a lesbian, who called Terry’s mother, who came the next day to take her home to her psychiatrist father, to whom she had not spoken in over four years. I was sent to the old women’s ward for punishment, where my job was to feed the bed-bound ladies, some of them in restraints all the time. The stench of urine & untreated cancer was overwhelming. I wrote long, intense letters to Terry, which I could not send, hiding them under my green plastic mattress. Terry’s stars are deep burgundy, & I bleed into the other colors when I mourn that we never made love.

Then Maggie was dragged onto our ward, in hot pink tights & purple smock, her teeth glittering with mischief Far from being depressed by the surroundings, she sang bawdy songs to the old ladies she fed, opening our misery with laughter. She was from a wealthy Marin family who sent her there to straighten her up & scare her into agreeing to marry the man they wanted to sell her off to, although they wouldn’t say it like that (she did). Somehow her wedding veil was among her belongings. She liked to wear it to the vast dining barrack because it annoyed the nurses so much. It was very beautiful, expensive lace which she trailed behind her like indifference. One day Maggie & I decided to get married. The guy who thought he was jesus was happy to perform our ceremony, held in the courtyard of our adjoining wards, surrounded by hundreds of old glass windows barred with iron grates. I wore Maggie’s veil & my Napa State Hospital white cardigan tied to make a train. We both carried huge bouquets of lilacs, which were blooming wildly in that hot, dry country. All our patient guests cheered & clapped so loudly that we couldn’t hear what jesus was saying. We only got to stroll down the sidewalk, showered with rice that Edith had filched from the kitchen where she was one of the cooks, before our union was rudely interrupted by burly male guards straining with anger in their white uniforms.

Everyone was locked down, some of us in solitary, & the bells went off for riot alert. Maggie’s poor veil was ripped apart by their feet & rage & arms. The head nurse (another lesbian) called Maggie’s mother that night, & before I had a chance to kiss her hello & goodbye, Maggie was driven away the next morning in her father’s limp-dick limo (her words again), as we ate our powdered eggs, silently depressed.

However, Maggie was a very sneaky & smart girl. She calmly arrived the following day in her VW bug (custom-painted purple, as are her stars) & said she had come back to collect her belongings, which no one had thought to pack up. Her mother, a master materialist (probably hoping for the veil), was very understanding. The hospital wanted to be accommodating in hope of future funds. So Maggie surprised me by returning to busily pack up not very much. We weren’t allowed to talk, & the nurses were watching us sharply until Ursula, understanding our need, threw her tennis shoe at the TV, screaming. Maggie palmed me a note to meet her by the lilac hedge behind the building, where she had conveniently parked. I left as though going to my new job at the dairy (cow shit apparently being a step up from human shit). The other women realized Ursula’s intentions & took off their keds, too. My last sight of that day room (where I had been declared incurably schizophrenic) was of flying sneakers, screaming technicians, breaking glass, & laughing patients—a really lovely melee. Because, of course, Maggie had returned to rescue me. We pulled out the backseat of her bug & I lay down across the battery. She laid a Mexican blanket over me, while I tried to project looking like a backseat. She piled her boxes, mostly empty, on top of me. The guards at the main gate were distracted by another call from the ward where the women who weren’t strapped down could not be contained. Maggie smiled, they gave her back her driver’s license, & off we went. On the other side of town, Maggie freed me from my seat charade & I tasted the wind in my hair for the first time in more than a year. She drove me to Big Sur, where I’d never been & they wouldn’t look for me (I had seven previous escapes, which is why I was on the violent ward so often, a curious juxtaposition—is freedom indeed violence, for lesbians?). In her trunk she had a sleeping bag, some food, money, & clothes that didn’t say Napa State on them for me. She dropped me near an overpass under which fellow fugitives of all kinds were camped, driving back to Marin, where perhaps she did escape marrying him. My belongings & three cartons of writing may still be in a dusty storage room at Napa. I guess I’m AWOL. Freedom’s worth the loss. If not for Maggie, I’d still be in the loony bin, incurable & terrified, not allowed to be a lesbian except with technicians. But I ripped that nurse out of the quilt.

Big Sur was rich with empty summer houses we raided for canned goods as a gang of teenage runaways, Vietnam War deserters, Rez escapees & drug dealers. We caught and roasted a wild pig. We hid out from the park rangers. We flirted with soldiers from the base for bags of potato chips, Hostess lemon pies, & chocolate bars. It was my theory we wouldn’t get scurvy if we ate the pies. We dropped acid & had orgies & stole into the mud baths at night. I was in a fog & detoxing from the nuthouse drugs, until one dusk when my eyes became diamond sharp at the sight of a thin young guy getting out of a hitchhiking ride at the convenience store near the campgrounds. He had black wavy hair cut in a DA falling forward over his face, wearing a leather motorcycle jacket that oozed sex. Our eyes caught across the parking lot & I fell in love like slamming into earth. I walked over, offering my open bag of BBQ pork rinds. Her reaching hand made me laugh & I blurted out, “I thought you were a guy.” She looked me up & down intensely, startled me by stroking my crotch with a quick secret movement, & growled, “Good.”]

chrystos, from cherry picker, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: sorry this one is a bit short. i am worrying myself silly until tomorrow.

masterlist

and wouldn't you love to love her?

Bucky didn't know if Y/N wouldn't be back. He had decided to give her space, allow her the time off since she never had any but explaining it to Sadie was, to say the least, complicated. The two year old had decided to live up to the terrible two cliche and between refusing to go to school and kicking any time he tried to bathe her. Whenever she asked when Y/N would be back all Bucky could say was that he did not know and, honestly, that was the truth. The more the days passed by and her viva examination got closer, he was starting to believe more and more that maybe she just wasn't coming back at all. I like you just the way you are, what ever happened to Hey Y/N, would you like to go for some coffee? No, he just had to be upfront about it.

As if Sadie living up to her prophecy wasn't enough, Christopher was equally on him blabbing and wondering about Y/N. He could only tlel him so much before Chris charted a jet to Ohio and he was certain Y/N would hate that more than what he told her.

Bucky was in the middle of dealing with Sadie screaming bloody murder about the pancakes not having chocolate chips when he heard the front door close. At this point, if someone came to shoot him in the head he wouldn't mind. However, it turned out to be a much pleasant sight dressed in a professional black dress.

      - Why is she crying? - Y/N drapped her coat over the chair.

      - There's no chocolate chips. - Bucky sighed both of relief that Y/N was here and of tiredness.

      - Sadie Barnes, you either eat your pancakes or there will be no TV, no tablet, no toys, no Etch-a-Sketch and definitely no Bluey, Disney + or any other streaming service your dad may be paying for. Your choice.

The redhead stared at Y/N before starting to eat her pancakes. That's it, Y/N was a witch. She had to be a witch. That's it. She was a witch, a very pretty witch who looked way too polished to have come out of an Ohio farm, but a witch.

      - How were the cows?

      - Pardon?

      - Your parents. You went to see your parents right? They live in a farm in Ohio?

      - Yeah. They were ok. Apparently mum has named them Rose, Sophia, Dorothy, and Blanche much to dad's dismay.

      - Like the Golden Girls. - he chuckled. - So, your viva is today.

      - Don't remind me. It's like walking into a slaughter house and then being denied being called a doctor. They should decapitate me, put my head on a spike, and parade me around Columbia as the massive disappointment.

      - What's decapitate? - Sadie asked.

      - It's the capital. - Bucky said not wanting to traumatise his two year old with the scenario Y/N had just described. - Go wash your hands and get your backpack, bug.

Sadie nodded but not before going over to hug Y/N's leg. Y/N ruffled her head before sending her along to wash her hands. Bucky got to making Y/N a plate, patting the chair next to him. She smiled at him before taking a seat and cutting a bit of the pancake. She stopped chewing, looking at him with a forced smile.

      - Good?

      - Buck, why are they salty? - she put a napkin in front of her mouth to spit out the pancake.

      - They're not salty. - Bucky took a forkful from her plate to try it himself.

      - We've had this discussion, Buck. Salt is in the black pot and sugar in the white one.

      - I'm gonna be a mess when you quit. - he pushed the plate away from her. - Speaking of which, I would like if you interviewed your future replacement. I trust you to pick the right person.

      - Most likely you won't need a replacement because I'm failing my viva today.

      - You are not. - Bucky put his hand on her shoulder. - You are smart, Baudelaire.

      - Baudelaire?

      - Do the scary thing first. Get scared latter.

(...)

Bucky drove Y/N down to Columbia, ensuring she got there safe and ready for her VIVA before driving down to take Sadie to school. Y/N swallowed in empty, merely staring at the hallowed halls of a building which had many notable alumni and she was now hoping she would be one. The VIVA was intense to say less and as she came out of the room, she was sweating buckets and wanting to be as far away from the building as possible.

      - Y/N! - shit. Shit, shit, shit, she'd forgotten he existed. What ever happened to men taking a hint?

      - Chris. - she turned around with a fake smile. - What are you doing here?

      - Anderson told me it was your VIVA today, I wanted to come see you. I haven't seen you in a while and Barnes said you were on holiday.

      - I thought after our last chat you wouldn't want to talk to me, Christopher.

      - It was a hurdle, Y/N. - he got closer to her. - Listen, I understand it was rough of me to attack your job like that but you have to understand it's because I care for you and that job is beneath you.

      - No job is beneath anyone, Christopher. You think that silver spoon mouthed talk is gonna make me forget you basically insulted me, my boss and the child I look after?

      - You have a Bachelors and a Masters, Y/N. You should be working internships, assistant positions to help you build your curriculum, not being a silver spoon mouthed man's child's babysitter.

      - That's all fine when you can afford to work a non paid position, Christopher.

      - I care about you, Y/N.

      - But I don't love you.

      - I don't expect you to love me yet, we haven't been seeing each other for too long and if we ...

      - Christopher. - she interrupted him. - I love someone else. It's not gonna stop.

(...)

Y/N dragged herself home. It was now a week, a week long of worrying wether she passed or not. She guessed it was better than having to do it again, heck she hoped she wouldn't have to do it again. She opened the door and heard mumbling with all the lights being off. She moved to turn the lights on, coming face to face with a home made sign and Sadie yelling surprise.

      - What is this? - she smiled, leaning down to pick Sadie up.

      - You're done, it's a party. - Bucky chuckled, pointing to the sign. - We have reservations in about 3 hours. Bought an ice cream cake and Sadie made you a card.

      - You shouldn't have done this.

      - What? After 3 years and a half of you moaning and whining over psychology, you need a nice night out.

      - You do know she'll start crying at around 10.

      - That's why we have dinner reservations at 6.30 and once she's in bed, I will allow you full control of the television. How does that sound?

      - I may not pass.

      - You got this far. You deserve a celebration just for you.

taglist: @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82 @winters1917 @vladsgirlxx @stinkerbelle007 @maybefoxysouls @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @chipilerendi @kandis-mom @belennasif @abitofblues @buckybarnessimpp

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I think that the misandry by the writers , especially Hess, is something that isn't discussed much. It's much deeper and dare I say, more sinister than just 'men bad women good' because the way she wrote the last episode shows that she wants to convey how Alicent's actions are commendable in a sense that her male children don't deserve her devotion and unconditional love anyway, while her only female child and grandchild do. It's framed as her liberation because she sells her own sons to another woman who is their enemy, but you know, it is good because Rhaenicent and reasons. As a woman, I'm appalled by this. What's worse is that I've seen takes here and on x like "Alicent regained her agency by ditching her sons for the woman she loves, her betrayal is understandable, go girl, you have my support" (and this one is tame compared to some others). Believe me, I'm not exaggerating. And I must be from mars because in my book that's not acceptable, understandable or commendable in any way, just the opposite. The problem, however, lies in the fact that the narrative and the writers' agenda support these vile and delusional takes. You don't even have to be a parent to see how evil and nonsensical this idea is, you just have to be able to understand basic human emotions and family dynamic. The writers and a big chunk of the fandom apparently don't.

Hello!

Thank you for this, really. The writers' (Hess' specifically) misandric agenda is absolutely crazy - and IMO crazy evident as well, so seeing so many people fall for it is baffling, sad and infuriating at the same time.

Don't they see that in HotD the women are the ones to blaim for something only when they side with men in one way or another? Don't they understand how forced, unsubtle and - because of that - cringe all the "you are a woman so you can't rule", "they don't respect me because I'm a woman" and "women suffer while men fight" are? House of the Dragon is one of the most force-feeding shows I've ever watched - and for some reason GA and even some people in the fandom believe it's alright. Media literacy is dead for real.

And the parent-children aspect of misandry you brought up is indeed one of the most atrocious things about the whole debacle. I am not a mother myself - but I have one, just as, I think, the majority of the viewers do. I refuse to believe that everyone who cheers for Alicent to abandon her sons has their own familial relationships so screwed that they are unable to understand the outlandishness of the opinion they are choosing to uphold.

Not to mention that in their quest for showing just how terrible Alicent's sons (minus Daeron - at least for now) are, HotD writers completely destroyed Helaena's personality, even the sparks of it she had in season 1. Now she is all about three things: bugs, clairvoyance and suffering (and I can't believe that the first point has been handled the best development-wise). Helaena is supposed to be good and kind: but what good and kind things have we seen her do? Taking care (kind of) of her crickets, offering a necklace in exchange for the life of her son (oh wow) and saying that she shouldn't really grieve for her child that much because the commoners' kids are dying all the time (how relatable for anyone who actually lost a child, right?). For most part she is just there, staring into the distance and saying something prophetic (or, again, suffering).

Just imagine a real mother saying to her son "You know, sonny, I love you, but you forgot to thank me for the pudding I made for your birthday plus you called my bestie an old cow - so I invited your school bullies to our house so that they could beat the shit out of you, you ungrateful jerk. They are in the backyard, go on, don't make your mommy wait".

Just imagine a real woman whose son has just been brutally killed say "You know what, there are so many children starving to death in the world. Why should I cry over mine?"

Honestly, I am beginning to think that people are steadily losing the ability to connect the things happening on screen to actual human emotional experience - as if the characters (in HotD in this case) are aliens to whom basic concepts that have been holding humanity together for millenia do not apply.

[heronoegg]

I mean this in the best way possible: If i looked up the word "spaghetti" in the dictionary i would find your art style.

On another note, i request bnha wing au lore, such as how similar their diets are to their specific bird species and birds in general as well as how cities look like, and a picture of Northern Goshawk Sero (because apparently they're the most acrobatic birds according to google.)

i don't even like spaghetti all that much if im being honest hjbghjfb it hurts my stomach and tomato makes me break out yet here i am eating pizza

anyway Sero is actully a sparrow because the pun was too good for me to pass it.

original colors and one i blasted with filters because i like doing that jvkgf hcj

i didn't want him being a hawk cause in their society Hawks are viewed as the "better" birds (by better i mean like Hawks though raptors are viewed as stronger, more successful, beautiful/handsome ect they are so this and so that) Sero's quirk compared to Bakugo influences my choice of making Bakugo a Hawk and Sero a common bird - a sparrow. there was another reason but i forgot what it was

Now as for your other questions.

-How similar are their diets to their specific bird species and birds in general

I mean, i wouldn't say somebody is eating another person, but it's not severely uncommon in their world that a person would eat another person if they were starving enough and there was nothing else around. Raptors would sooner eat a rat before another person they'd have to be severely pushed into eating another person and it's only raptors/predators cases that have eaten other bird persons but that hasn't happened in a long time (at least that they know about) It's frowned upon to eat people jfknvbghfj

They do eat seeds, they grow vegetables, they eat roots, they grow fruits, bugs that aren't sentient, they eat other little critters that aren't sentient, they eat rats that aren't sentient - they have some form of non-sentient cattle cause if rabbit people like Mirko exist that means rat people exist, i don't think sentient cow or pug people exist but bugs and lizards aren't off the table there are sentient bugs and lizards cause bug people are incorporated in wing society.

-how do cities look like?

I actually have this written out. Ok so in this AU for somereason i never explained but the planets flora grew to like massive height so giant trees that reach the clouds exist, flowers that are big as houses exist, plants making people look like bugs even if they are a bird exist but normal size land, plants and trees exist as well.

living arrangements

Bird people

they typically nest in tree houses or live in hollowed-out trees that serve as single-family homes or communal living spaces almost that of hotels.

Higher branches are reserved for the rich or successful - safety and status all that noise.

Mid-level branches have platforms and hanging structures it's middle-class neighborhoods. The poor/under paid live in shrubs where bugs live or smaller trees closer to the ground floor but still elevated enough that they aren't touching the complete ground.

Houses include perches and structures robust enough to support winged living. Regular furniture but adapted for wings and tails. Beds that provide space for wings i imagine their round?

People do still do nest-building - i think my friend said Deku's mom owns a nest. -it's an older generation thing, i assume they integrate natural materials into their living spaces either inside normal homes or in custom-built house.

i think the bird houses are my favorite thing in this AU cause i sit here and think about how their houses look alot

I think of balconies, roof gardens, open spaces it's really cool in my head think of skyloft from skyward sword but without the clouds kinda? i had skyloft in mind when i was making this AU

Bat people

They prefer caves or cave-like structures that can be built into cliffs or large trees. Wealthy bats love spacious caverns higher up, lots of privacy and security from predators

Middle-class bats may have communal roosts on ledges or hollowed parts of large trees, while the less fortunate find shelter in smaller crevices and overhangs closer to the ground but still vertical enough for their needs.

Bug people

those with butterfly or moth wings build around massive flowers and tall vegetation.

The rich live high in canopys but i think bugs are the lowest ranking species here.

some might dwell on large leaves or within the stems of tall plants, lots of vibrant communities akin suburban life. it's silly jhtbgfhj

Some individuals may resort to makeshift accommodations among thickets or low-lying plants, some elevation to facilitate their flight-based movement.

There are no streets; travel is facilitated by flight between different areas. There are lots of glades and clearings that serve as social and trading hubs for interaction between different species and economic classes.

i have other things about this AU but i wanna save it for it's own post i just wanted to answer your question.

[evapillar]

Requesting silly help from Jumblr

Has anyone attempted to write up rules for Jewish observance in Stardew Valley? I assumed this must exist since someone did it for Breath of the Wild, but I can’t find anything! I’m Stardewing my way through COVID isolation and I’m bored enough to make up some rules myself, but my knowledge of halakha (and this game I’ve been playing for less than a week) is limited so I would appreciate contributions.

Rules So Far:

No tool use, crafting, mine cart use, or financial transactions on Shabbat (sundown Friday to an hour after sundown Saturday)

Bug meat, shellfish, etc are treyf

Married women must visit the mikvah (bath house) at the beginning of every season

You must clear your inventory before leaving your farm on Shabbat

You may not start furnaces or appliances that require electricity/heat on Shabbat. Other appliances probably OK

Unsettled Issues

Is the farm boundary coherent enough to count as an eruv, or must you construct an eruv yourself before carrying outside the house on Shabbat?

Fishing for food is apparently allowed on Shabbat! Can we assume all fish sold in Stardew Valley are eventually eaten and therefore allow fishing on Stardew Shabbat?

Can you eat things prepared in non-kashered kitchens (eg the saloon)?

Should days marked with a pennant on the calendar be considered Yom Tov?

Does shipping produce overnight count as a financial transaction, and if so does it occur when you place the produce in the shipping box, or when you receive the gold?

Oh my gosh I don’t know any farm halakha AT ALL I had to google whether you can milk a cow on Shabbat someone please help

Does this game have meat in it?

[ac-schryver]

Baby Shark

Alastor frowned at the young man in front of him. He wasn’t cowed like the other men in his life by his mere existence, nor was he even impressed by Alastor. The other deer, an angel disguised as a demon, had mentioned that he wasn’t scared of a fellow podcaster, and even grinned at him.

“Louis, my good man, how did you interprut my broadcast?” Alastor asked.

Louis looked up and Alastor tried not to flinch and melt as he was met with Charlie and Lucifer’s doe eyes. Alastor did not know how to prove it but the Virtue sitting before him had to be Lucifer’s next child and that tore something inside him up. He would question the thought of Lucifer having more children upsetting him at another time. Louis, smiled and some soundtrack from a movie Alastor had never bothered with played through the air, but Alastor felt like a fish in a shark tank.

“I got it from my Daddy,” Louis grinned. “If you want I can torture the Vees. I think I’ve got just the song.”

Alastor frowned.

“Oooh, got the frowny smile,” Louis chripped. “Very well.”

With a snap, Alastor heard a very faint song coming from beyond the hotel. He walked outside to investigate and was met with the repeating “do-do-do”. Alastor’s neck cracked as he looked over at the angel coming to stand by him. Smile almost as wide as his own capped with cherry blushes, that Alastor was fighting himself on chewing on them. Charlie and Lucifer gave him the same urge, but with Lucifer it was more he wanted to rip them off and Louis’ raised eyebrow pulled him from his thoughts.

“What?!” Alastor snapped.

“Your cute aggression is showing,” Louis grinned, hands rubbing his rosey cheeks in circles. “Ooh look it’s the game show host, Rox.”

“It’s Vox, you clown” Vox hissed marching up to Alastor. “ I don’t know how you did it, but stop blasting Baby Shark in my tower!”

“Clown?” Louis frowned. “ I’m the grand marshal of the Carnival. Clown?”

Alastor was about to tell Louis not to worry about Vox when he saw Charlie’s annoyed expression flash across Louis. This would be good.

“Look here you outdated sack of bugged circuits!” Louis grouched. “ you need a new graphic’s card because you apparently can’t see for shit through that obsolete monitor you call a face!”

“Ho Ho, Louis, why don’t you go inside before you loose your cool, my hart,” Alastor spoke patting Louis, shoulder. “As for you, Vox, you’ve upset one of my guest.”

Moments of dear screams later, Lucifer was walking up to the hotel with some luggage and frowned as a man with a flat head ran off.

“ Um, what happened?” Lucifer frowned. “ Are the kids okay?”

“ The children are perfectly fine,” Alastor grinned. “ why our little Louis can override Vox! Called him outdated! I’m thinking of taking him and Our dear Charlie to the next Overlords meeting to show of the hotel and torture Cox some more!”

“You are not taking our kids to an Overlord meeting!” Lucifer huffed.

“Our kids, Mon petit Chou?!”

“Ugh! Shut up shut up shut up!”

———-

One of my head cannons is that Alastor finds Charlie and Lucifer just adorable and that he bites Lucifer like an affection aggressive cat who doesn’t know how hard he bites, and yes this is based on my own cat.

[climbthemountain2020]

Flame of Autumn - Chapter 3

Part 4/25

Also on Ao3!

Eris

Of all the days Eris had lived to see, he’d somehow never imagined his own wedding day. He was strangely nervous. He would have never entered into a marriage of his own volition–he had told himself long ago that his love wasn’t worth risking the lives of anyone else, and definitely not someone he cared about. He knew arranged marriages were incredibly common amongst noble families, but after the failure with Morrigan, centuries passed and nothing else happened. He’d hoped he’d continue to just go unnoticed, and maybe Beron would continue to forget his marriage potential. It seemed his time had run out.

Eris wasn’t ignorant of how arranged marriages within the noble families worked. He’d known he would have no say in his bride, but he had thought he might at least know her name or face before he they met at the end of the aisle.

Eris knew her party had arrived the previous afternoon. He’d been out on business, but had seen the servants unloading the carriages when he’d returned. While he had never met his bride, he’d had the unfortunate displeasure of knowing who her uncle was. Donal Beck was an unpleasant man–stout and ruddy. He was the younger brother of a noble line, always scrabbling for more land, more power, more, more, more. He himself had never married or had children, but he was a known skirt chaser in the villages of his territory. He used his station and money and threats–and clearly not his looks–to secure the pleasure of females. When he visited the Forest House, he split his time between terrorizing the female guests and servants and cowing to Beron’s every whim. It was pathetic.

Eris, however, knew absolutely nothing about Donal’s niece. Apparently, she’d been the heiress of Donal’s late brother who had died in the war with Hybern. He remembered having met the male long ago, though he stayed mostly to his own territory to the north. He did, however, know of his recent prowess in the battle against Hybern. People of Autumn had spoken of it for weeks–the rampaging swath of death that was Kieran Beck. He’d single-handedly taken out massive battalions with his fire and his sword skills. He’d died on the battlefield that day. Eris remembered hearing his wife had died centuries before, leaving him with just a daughter who Eris may or may not have met once in his youth–he’d need to do some subtle digging–but he assumed that his bride must be that daughter. He hoped she’d have a thick skin. She’d have to in order to survive here.

Eris stared into the mirror, straightening his collar and tunic below it. He pulled his sleeves down and secured the amber cufflinks. He shook out his hands. He hated this nervous energy. His chest felt like a great weight sat upon it, making it nearly impossible for him to take a breath.

Would she look at him and find him lacking?

Stop it.

He had to get control of his thoughts. It was stupid to think of this as anything other than a transaction. That horrid, acrid voice rolled around in his head.

How pathetic to think you could find happiness with someone. Weakness.

He shuddered and rolled his shoulders. He couldn’t manage to shake that tiny spark of hope.

Would it be so terrible to hope for a friend?

His mind warred with itself. He’d been alone for so long. In all likelihood, Eris knew she would probably be one of the vapid girls of Autumn dying for a raise in status like so many who had been thrown at him over the years. Every event, ball, equinox, female after female was dressed and painted and paraded in front of him like cattle. He hated it. They were all horribly shallow girls who saw him only as the heir. Why would this one be any different? She was, after all, from the same circle of nobles that those girls frequented.

He quashed his hope like a bug beneath his heel. They would meet, marry, and produce a child. How hard could it possibly be to copulate and wash his hands of it? It’s not like he hadn’t regularly found release in the hundreds of years of living. This one would just be attached to him a bit more legally.

Eris could already feel a headache forming behind his eyes.

Do not let this distract you from your purpose. This is a means to an end.

He would never be cruel like his father, but it would be foolish to entertain the idea that this stranger might become something more to him.

And Eris couldn’t afford any slips like that.

Matilda

Matilda frowned at herself in the mirror. The staff had spent hours today painting her face a litany of stupid colors, shoving her into an Autumn dress of lace, and ripping her hair at the root to make her into a presentable bride.

The dress itself was gorgeous, lace from stem to stern, and actually did make her smile. The neckline plunged to her chest, showing a bit more chest than she would have chosen for herself, but the intricate lace wove tightly down over her arms, flaring into a bell sleeve at the wrist. It corseted around her waist, then bowed back out into a waterfall of beautiful fabric inlaid with pearls sewn all the way down. It was by far the nicest thing she’d ever worn.

The makeup and hair, however, were a nightmare. She waited for the last of the staff to leave then locked the door. They’d been so strange–refusing outright to speak to her, even when she asked questions. She wondered if all the staff here were that way.

She hurried to the bathroom, found a cloth, and began to scrub furiously at her face. Today began her servitude for the rest of her life, but she’d be damned if she’d go into it looking like a painted jester. They’d covered her freckles entirely and painted a deep red onto her lips that aged her centuries. She wiped everything but the kohl around her eyes, then dried her face.

Much better.

She also had to admit she found the rooms absolutely beautiful. The entire suite she was in was made of rich wood, polished until it shone. The colors were the deep, beautiful greens, browns, and reds of Autumn. Frankly, they reminded her a lot of her father’s house. She hadn’t slept the night before, kept awake by nerves for today and memories of her father and mother. She sent a little prayer to whatever afterlife there might be and whatever gods might be listening that they would keep her safe.

Tonight would be her wedding night, which in and of itself was a worry enough for her. She hoped that Eris didn’t expect her to be a virgin at five centuries old; he would be sorely disappointed. The whole week she’d wondered what he’d be like. She tried to stop herself, knowing that the worrying would be of no use to her, but it was impossible to not think about it.

After arriving yesterday, she’d been seen to her rooms, then hadn’t encountered anyone except the staff who brought her dinner, then breakfast, then lunch and got her prepared for the ceremony. She’d eaten alone, though she could hear people milling about in the hallways outside her doors all night while she tossed and turned. She did have a turn in the beautiful bathtub with water that was deliciously hot against her skin, the heavy copper tub holding the heat against the chill of the air. The floors of the guest suite had been covered with thick rugs to hold heat, too, so perhaps she’d find some silver linings to living here.

She had no idea where anyone was, or if someone would come and fetch her for the wedding itself. As if reading her mind, a knock sounded on the door. She took one last look at herself and found her reflection to look much braver than she felt. An escort had arrived to walk her to the ceremony.

The male did not speak to her at all, but he seemed friendly enough. He’d had an almost-smile on his face as she’d answered the door, and that seemed to be about all she would get out of the staff here in Autumn. He had dark, chestnut-colored hair that shone as they passed the windows. The sun was setting and it cast the halls in deep oranges and reds, making sure she remembered exactly what seasonal court family she was marrying into. He stopped as they reached an archway leading out to what appeared to be a courtyard, and she took a deep breath to step through it.

The music began as Matilda got her bearings, took one more deep breath, then looked up the long aisle where she would meet Eris Vanserra, her betrothed.

Time stood still as her hazel eyes met his amber ones. She was supposed to be walking, but she’d stalled out when she laid eyes on him. A gentle push against her lower back snapped her back into the present and set her into motion.

He was astonishing, and by the look he was giving her, she might be inclined to think he felt the same about her. His beauty was cold, and sharp, and absolutely stunning to behold. His wine-red hair curled and tousled into a perfectly placed pile on top of his head, and it reminded her of the deep red leaves of her home. His eyes were pools of honey, the russets, yellows, golds, and browns of the foliage of their court merging to form the most depthless eyes she’d ever seen. Her heart beat out of time as she beheld him, feeling the tiniest needle of hope at how attractive she found him.

He was dressed impeccably, his clothes tailored closely to his body that must have been wrapped in centuries of honed muscles. He didn’t command the armies of Autumn without training for that kind of role. His hands, however, seemed strong yet delicate–the long fingers graceful as they clasped in front of him.

He parted those hands and held one out to her, his ivory skin freckled and shining in the setting sun. Looking back into his eyes, she reached out and tentatively took his hand, heat zapping through her at the contact in the way only Autumn magic could. Despite her having hidden hers for almost 500 years publicly, her magic begged to dance with his. His hands engulfed hers with a warmth that heated her through, and she was reminded of her father’s warm, loving grip.

She’d foolishly let the hope bloom in her heart, but perhaps this was a sign that things might be okay. Matilda laced her fingers through his and prayed that the open, earnest look in his eyes wasn’t just for show.

Eris

Beautiful. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever beheld.

When she’d rounded the corner of the courtyard, it had felt as though his heart had seized in his chest and then abruptly taken off flying without him attached. She was absolutely astonishing.

Her gilded red hair shone in the sunlight like a halo, matching the fall flowers she gripped tightly in her dainty, lovely hands. Her face was like beholding the sun directly–her eyes focused straight on him made him feel like all the sentient thought had been knocked from his head. They were the most beautiful hazel he’d ever seen, like the rich forest floor, lined by dark, thick eyelashes. As she got closer, he saw the constellation of freckles across her nose and cheeks and was overcome with the urge to count each one.

Breathe, Eris. Control. Get back in control.

He forced a breath into his lungs, but he couldn’t look away from her. It was as though his entire universe had narrowed to this one point of contact; nothing else mattered. He compelled another breath into his lungs and desperately tried to regain use of his brain as he reached for her hands, but the zap of magic when he touched her echoed through the empty chambers of his heart and clanged all the way through his lonely body. The hope reared its ugly head, and he was a goner.

The only thought Eris could force through his head was that he hoped his hands weren’t sweating all over hers. He couldn’t even imagine the thoughts he’d been having just an hour ago about tolerating her presence.

Please, please don’t be tedious and shallow.

She quirked an eyebrow at him as though she’d heard his thoughts and he involuntarily huffed a laugh, shocking his own eyes into widening.

As he stood there, looking at this female that was about to become his wife, he knew with more certainty than he’d ever had before that he would do everything in his power to treat her kindly, to show her warmth and joy here. Something had changed within him in these last few moments, and there was something about her, past her unequivocally beautiful exterior, that told him she was special–different.

The priestess began the opening remarks, the welcome, but Eris was still staring squarely at her.

“We’re here today for the joining of Eris Vanserra and Matilda Beck…”

Matilda.

He rolled the name around in his mind, memorizing the sound of it, the feel of it. It felt right, as though it belonged there. He repeated after the priestess when asked, his eyes never once leaving Matilda’s. When it was her turn, her lilting voice blew through him like a gale of wind through the woods.

They spoke together–“You are mine, and I am yours. From this day, until the last of our days, and then on into eternity.” And Eris could have sworn the entire world shifted on its axis. He knew he would be hearing that infernal voice in his mind any moment telling him to stop being so weak, so pathetic, but for once he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Without thinking, he brushed a hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear, and her lips parted in a surprised smile. Eris Vanserra, perhaps for the first time in his entire life, was left entirely speechless. The priestess spoke that they may kiss to finalize their marriage, and though it was chaste, that petal-soft press of her lips to his had sealed his entire fate. In mere moments, his life had been changed irrevocably. There was no use fighting the glimmer of hope that burned brightly inside of him now.

He could dare to be happy.

Eris couldn't help but feel like the world was transforming in a way he had not been prepared for. He was stuck within the pull of the tide, and not one single piece of him wanted to fight it.

Matilda.

[maramontwrites]

King of Monsters

The crown is lighter than I expected. It looks so impractical, with huge horns on top and spikes covering the sides, but it's surprisingly comfortable. I'm glad it is. My life would be a lot more difficult if it wasn't.

When I first saw it on the head of the last King, I thought that it was part of him, that he was some kind of demon. It was only after I killed him, when that crown fell from his head, that I realized the rumours had been true. He was human, like me, or at least he had been. He had been a hero, willing to risk his life to rid the world of monsters. But, like me, he had learned that saving the world isn't as simple as it seemed. The crown is passed down through the spilling of blood, and killing the King won't leave the monsters without a leader. It will just place a new King in place of the old, who can torture the world in a new way.

I knew this when I picked up the fallen crown. This was my fate, and there was nothing I could do to fight it. My body moved on its own, placing the crown on my head. It fit perfectly. I felt the bony horns fuse with my skull, the thorns wrapping tightly around my head. I knew I wouldn't be able to take it off, not until the next hero would come and kill me. I realized I had been right about the crown at first. It was part of me, but I wouldn't be a demon. 

A small, black creature runs past my feet, almost tripping me. Before I can react, a bigger version of that same creature runs after the small one.

“Ayla, control your babies, please. They're going to get me killed like this”, I say, trying to sound strict, but I can't help but laugh. It's not every day that you see baby monsters, and they're surprisingly cute.

“I apologize, Master.” Ayla and their baby disappear into the shadows around the edge of the cave that is my – and their – home.

Shadow Monsters. My mother used to tell me about them. She said that if I was disobedient and rude, the Shadow Monsters would come and take me away. Sometimes I'd hear about kids from our village who were taken away by shadows in the middle of the night. That was the main reason why I went after the King. No child, no matter how disobedient, deserves to be eaten by monsters.

It was my first order as the new King: no more killing children. I expected the monsters to protest, but they listened immediately. Apparently, even Shadow Monsters don't really like eating kids. As long as I provide enough food, they will even stay away from human settlements entirely, and that’s not as hard as I first thought, since most monsters can survive just fine on a diet of plants, bugs and wild animals. Occasionally they will bring in a cow or some chickens, stolen from a nearby farm. I allow it, as long as it happens rarely, and the humans who live on that farm still have enough food to feed themselves. Even monsters deserve a treat sometimes.

Another one of Ayla's babies walks up to me. This one is a lot less energetic than their sibling, as they lie down with their head on my foot. I pick them up and they immediately fall asleep in my arms. I chuckle as I pet their back. Although Shadow Monster's bodies are made of shadows, they're actually pretty soft, almost like fur.

“Did I give you a name yet, little one?” I whisper, even though I know they can't hear me. The communication with the monsters took me a long time to get used to. Unlike humans, they speak with their minds. I don't even have to talk aloud to them, as they can pick up my thoughts, but I still can't get used to that. These babies are only a few days old, too young to have developed language, but still like talking to them. They're the only ones who won't do everything I say without question. I like that little rebellion.

“I think I’ll call you Mano”, I say. Mano turns in their sleep, snuggling against my chest. I think they like their name.

Outside the cave, I can see the sun rising. Different monsters start coming in, ready to sleep after spending the night outside. Some are carrying food or interesting trinkets they found. Kyri, Ayla's partner, carries in some dead animal for their babies to feed on. I bring Mano over to them, while Ayla appears from the shadows with the rest of the babies. They lower their head in a bow.

“Master, I apologize for the trouble they cause.” Their voice is as clear in my head as any spoken words.

I smile. “Don't worry, they’re not that annoying.” I give Mano one last squeeze before giving them back to their parents.

I watch as the cave fills with different kinds of creatures. Although Shadow Monsters are the majority, they're not the only ones who live here. Bebars, Semi-Dragons, Grannor, Minis. All were once feared creatures, known for stealing, kidnapping and killing, but I found that none of them are as evil as humans think they are. All it takes is food, water and sometimes some attention for them to be satisfied.

Sometimes I wonder what the other Kings were doing to make the monsters so bloodthirsty. They were all heroes once, I'm sure they wanted to help humanity, so why did they do the opposite, when it's so easy to control the monsters? I don’t expect to ever know the answer, since everyone who can answer me is already dead, but I still like to wonder sometimes. The monsters won’t tell me anything about the previous Kings. They say that I'm their Master now, and that's all that matters. One older Shadow Monster told me I was their favourite, but they wouldn't tell me why.

I used to be worried that whatever made the other Kings so murderous, would also affect me one day. I thought that maybe the crown would influence me over time, or that living in a cave would drive me insane, but it's been years now, and I still feel the same as I did when I put that crown on my head. Well, not entirely the same. Now that I know the monsters, now that I've lived with them and given them names and held their babies, I know that they need to be protected. Just as much as human children don't deserve to be killed, Shadow Monster babies don't deserve that either. And I would do anything to keep them safe.

I notice some commotion at the entrance of the cave. I don’t see anything alarming yet, but I hear the thoughts from the ones who can. Out of the multiple voices talking at once, I can hear one word multiple times: human.

“Get away from the entrance!” I yell. The monsters obey. “Protect the children!” I see Ayla and Kyri retreating to the shadows with their babies.

I draw the sword that I used to kill the last King. Even though I haven’t used it in years, I always keep it close to me. I don't intend on harming anyone, as I hope to be able to resolve whatever this human wants peacefully, but I don't want to be unprepared.

“King of Monsters!” A man stands in front of the cave, his weapon drawn, ready to attack. “I've come here to end your reign forever!”

No one is taking my monsters away from me.

[macaroonsims]

12 Dancing Princesses Legacy Challenge

based on the barbie movie. use cheats if you want, complete all generation goals.

***

Gen 1: Princess Ashlyn.

Ashlyn is the eldest of King Randolph and the late Queen Isabella's twelve daughters, since she is the oldest she is the crowned princess or the heiress apparent to the throne. Ashlyn loves to play music, especially the flute. She and her little sisters all love ballet dancing. 

traits: creative, music lover, family oriented.

career: musician

aspiration: musical genius

colour: purple

As the eldest, help raise your younger sisters.

Master piano, pipe organ, violin, guitar, singing, and dance skills.

***

Gen 2: Princess Blair.

The second eldest

traits: animal lover, active, creative

career: vet

aspiration: country caretaker

colour: red

own a cow (there's no horses)

master vet, pet training, and dance skills

max imagination skill as a toddler/child

have a ruby gemstone

buy the brave trait in the rewards store

***

Gen 3: Princess Courtney,

traits: clumsy, bookworm, genius

aspiration: bestselling author

career: writer

master dance and logic skills.

colour: blue

have a sapphire gemstone

***

Gen 4: Princess Delia

traits: active, hot headed, adventurous

aspiration: bodybuilder

career: athlete (any branch)

colour: green

have a twin sister

master athletic and dance skills

have sunflowers in your room

***

Gen 5: Princess Edeline

traits: goofball, active, active

aspiration: joke star

career: comedian

colour: orange

have a twin sister

master comedy, athletic, and dance skills

have a citrine gemstone

***

Gen 6: Princess Fallon

traits: romantic, animal lover, music lover

aspiration: soulmate

career: up to you

colour: pink

master singing, violin (no harps in game) and dance skills

***

gen 7: Princess Genevieve

traits: cheerful, genius, loyal

career: up to you

aspiration: big happy family

colours: pink and white

master dance and logic skills

plant roses in garden

be best friends with your younger sister

have a cat called twyla

***

Gen 8: Princess Hadley

traits: active, outgoing, cheerful

aspiration: extreme sports enthusiast

career: athletic (whatever branch you didn't pick in gen 4)

colour: teal

have a twin sister and be best friends with her

complete the rambunctious scamp (?) aspiration as a child

master dance and athletic skills

***

Gen 9: Princess Isla

traits: active, cheerful, genius

aspiration: any

career: any

colour: lilac

be best friends with twin sister,

master dance and athletic skills

plant lilies in your garden

have an emerald gemstone

***

Gen 10: Princess Janessa

traits: loves the outdoors, self-assured, outgoing

career: politician

aspiration: leader of the pack

have two twin sisters, be be friends with second eldest (you are the eldest triplet)

colour: light blue

have the jonquilyst gemstone

complete bug collection

master dance skill

***

Gen 11: princess Kathleen

traits: cheerful, creative, art lover

aspiration: painter extraordinaire

career: painter (any branch)

have two twin sisters, be best friends with the elder one

colour: light pink

master dance skill

plant daisies in your garden

***

gen 12: Princess Lacey

traits: genius, dance machine, family oriented

aspiration: any

career: doctor

colour: lilac

have two twin sisters, but be best friends with your older sister

plant lilies in garden,

have the amethyst gem stone

master dance skill

[pixiemage]

Okokokokokok

But why do I think that after the great confusion of Skizz.

He wakes up the others and so they throw pillows at the ranchers until Jimmy falls out of bed wakes up and panic runs lol

As hilarious of a mental image as that is lmao, I actually did have a scene in mind already, so - hah - for your reading pleasure, have a continuation of These Small Hours...

[This work can also be found on Archive of Our Own]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Interloper

In Skizz’s defense, he’d had a rough first day on the server, so maybe it was more than a little understandable that it took a little longer for his brain to wake up than usual. Plus it was his first day back on a Life server since Last Life had ended so he was already a bit on edge on top of everything else that had happened, which meant he hadn’t slept well either - but that wasn’t important right now.

The fact was, when Skizz went to go poke Tango and see if his buddy was awake yet, it took him an embarrassingly long moment to register that there were two people in Tango’s bed instead of one…and one of them had recognizable yellow wings. Skizz had seen them before, of course. The player attached to them had been in the Life series for just as long as Skizzle had, though they had never been on the same team before. But again, he was tired, and his brain was sluggish, and it was early. Sue him if the guy’s name didn’t come to him as quickly as it normally would have.

Skizz blinked blearily at the sleeping pair, squinting at them with furrowed brows.

…Jimmy? What in the world…?

“Uhhh…” He blinked, still frozen in the doorway. Jimmy. When had he joined TIES?

…wait, no, he hadn’t joined TIES. Jimmy was teamed up with Joel. Joel who killed their cow.

It was then that he finally snapped into wakefulness, his eyes bugging out as he fully registered what was happening here. Tango was sleeping with the enemy - quite literally - and judging by how closely they were both cuddled up together, his buddy seemed pretty happy with that arrangement.

But…Jimmy?! He barely knew the guy. What the heck was he even lookin’ at here? He was tempted to wake Tango and pester him for answers, but that’d probably wake Jimmy as well, and he had no idea where that course of action might lead. So instead he slowly leaned back out the doorway and turned to call out into the main part of the base in a sharp whisper.

“Hey, Dippledop?” Silence. “Impulse?”

“What’s up, man?”

Impulse’s voice was muffled, clearly off tending to the farm they’d built up the day before, and Skizz huffed. He darted his focus from the source of Impulse’s voice to Tango and back again.

“Get in here, dude! We’ve got an interloper!”

“...a what?”

“Just come here!”

“Geez! Okay! Hang on–”

Except, apparently, Skizz hadn’t kept his voice down well enough, because his sharp hiss caught the attention of Tango. The netherborn shifted and grumbled into his pillow, tugging Jimmy closer with the arm he had draped across the avian’s torso, and after a moment or two of Skizzle holding his breath, Tango’s eyes blinked open. His gaze was fuzzy and half-aware when it found Skizz in the doorway. That haziness didn’t last long, because between one tick and the next, a sudden panic seemed to jolt Tango into action.

“Shit! Jimmy–” He scrambled upright, shaking Jimmy, whose feathers fluffed in alarm the moment he was aware enough to do so.

“Wha–” he grumbled, sitting upright with a mess of blond bedhead and sleep-blurred eyes. “Wha’s up…?”

“It’s morning, Feathers,” Tango said quickly. He was already scrambling to detangle himself from the sheets, rushing over to his personal chest and scooping up shoes and jeans and a light blue shirt that most definitely did not belong to Tango. “Jim, c’mon, you said you wanted to get back early. Remember? Grian? Joel?”

“Joel…” Jimmy blinked once, twice, then sucked in a sharp breath that sent him coughing and flailing out of bed himself. “Oh, void, the boys - ack!”

Jimmy tumbled to the ground in an undignified heap of feathers, a very birdlike chirp escaping him on impact, and Tango was quick to drop the clothes on the bed so he could help the fallen player to his feet.

“Oh, geez–” Tango snorted, falling into giggles alongside a red-faced Jimmy. “You good there buddy?”

“I’m good, I’m good!” Jimmy was quick to bat him away. He dove for his clothes and yanked on his jeans, his wings flailing out to keep him balanced.

And all the while, Skizz just gaped at them from beyond the doorway, their rapid movements and tossed items blurring slightly in front of him.

“Skizz! Hey!” Impulse appeared in the central room of the base, shoving wheat into his inventory as he went. “What’s up? You said there’s an interloper?”

“Yeah! There’s–”

Skizz made to gesture toward Tango’s room, but Tango was already leaving, dragging a very frazzled-looking Jimmy behind him as they slipped past the gaping Skizz in the doorway.

“Morning Skizz!” Tango called back, grinning all the while. “Morning Impy! Sorry, bit of a hurry. Be right back.”

Jimmy, who finally managed to get his other arm through the sleeve of his overshirt, flashed them both a sheepish little smile.

“H-Hey! Uh - good morning?” He chuckled weakly, tossing out a barely-there wave.

Much to Skizzle’s surprise, Impulse returned the wave with a friendly grin, looking entirely too unphased by the appearance of another team’s member coming out of Tango’s bedroom.

“Morning Jimmy!”

“I’d stay to chat, but - eep!”

It was then that Tango tugged Jimmy that last step or two out the door to their base, dragging Jimmy upward through the water and out of sight. For a moment, there was silence. Skizz’s jaw was practically on the floor, his brow furrowed in baffled confusion, and it took longer than he would have liked to get his brain to form a sentence. But then–

“What the heck just happened?!”

“Just Tango and Jimmy being Tango and Jimmy,” Impulse shrugged, providing absolutely no answers whatsoever before he vanished back into the farm.

“...what’s THAT supposed to mean?!”

Above ground, Etho sat in the shade of a tree on the shoreline while he fished for some extra food along the coast. He barely glanced up when Tango strolled back his way after seeing Jimmy off to his base.

“You knew he was here,” Tango drawled. He leaned sideways against Etho’s tree and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You could’ve woken us up when you left to fish.”

“Mhm, I could’ve.” His line went taut and he yanked the pole back sharply, reeling in his catch as he did so. “...but that wouldn’t have been as fun.”

Tango snorted.

“You know Joel and Grian are gonna mock him into an early grave once they realize where he was all night?”

Etho’s eyes crinkled around the corners in what Tango knew was a cheeky kind of grin. He laughed quietly beneath his mask.

“Well yeah. Of course they are.”

“Jerk! It was hard enough getting him to stay the one night. Now he’ll never come back.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it.” Etho let his fishing rod lay across his lap while he worked to unhook the cod he’d caught, letting it vanish into his inventory the moment it was free. The rod disappeared soon after. “I’ve seen how you two are. He’ll be back.”

He got to his feet and brushed off his clothes, not even pausing to give Tango a backward glance as he made his way back toward the underwater entrance to the TIES base.

“Besides,” he said, and Tango could hear the smirk in his voice, “maybe that’ll teach you to ask the next time you want your soulmate to spend the night in enemy territory. For all you know he could’ve been spying on us.”

Tango spluttered, his hair sparking indignantly, but Etho ignored him. He stepped off the shore with a two-fingered salute and vanished below the waves.

Jerk.

Between Etho’s taunting, Scott’s teasing, and whatever Joel and Grian were going to dish out when Jimmy arrived back at Bad Boy Manor, Tango was beginning to wonder if he’d ever get another peaceful minute alone with Jimmy until the game was over. He rolled his eyes and shoved away from the tree he’d been leaning on.

Eh, they’d find the time. They always did.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(...this was meant to just be a comedy. Where in the everliving FUCK did the fluff at the end come from???)