#and the author even said that “next update tomorrow'

[callmesel]

I just read the first chapter of one my all time favourite Perciver fic back from 2021 and I'm telling ya. It's has an awful spelling and I'm dying just from looking at it.

[lonely-cowboy]

one and only ↠ arthur morgan masterlist. main masterlist.

pairing: arthur morgan x f!reader summary: although you left weeks ago, arthur still feels guilty for all he did (and didn't) do to you. he just can't seem to get you out of his damn head. word count: 3.7k warnings: none really? just sad arthur

author's note: AHAHAHA i'm finally back, and i present to you my first arthur morgan fic!! for more info on this request and a lil update on my comings and goings, look here <3

On a typical night, going to the saloon would’ve been a treat for Arthur. When he was able to spend a night out – some nights with the gang, other nights just with you– it meant he was safe. He didn’t have to worry about Pinkertons on his tail or whatever trivial chores Ms. Grimshaw had in store for him the next day. On a typical night, Arthur would’ve enjoyed the saloon.

But tonight was far from typical.

Arthur found himself huddled in a corner with a whiskey in hand, mindlessly fidgeting with the splintered wood of his lonesome table. Though his hat was tipped low to ward off any friendly patrons, Arthur’s eyes were focused on the bright moon outside. Its pale light filtered through the dusty window, casting shadows across Arthur’s rough features. 

Tonight, Arthur was not treating himself. He didn’t deserve such a thing after all the Godawful things he said to you. No, tonight, Arthur would punish himself. He would drink and drink and drink until he was so overwhelmed with misery that the only way to cope was with a good, hard fight. He’d find the biggest, sturdiest patron he could, sauntering over so audaciously that any right-minded man would already be angry with him. And without a word, Arthur would punch that man square in the face, waiting readily for a retaliating punch. After that, he’d let his hands drop to his sides, leaving him defenseless as he took punch after punch in punishment.

Tomorrow was sure to be one hell of a morning.

With a soft grunt, Arthur turned his gaze away from the moon. He didn’t deserve to look on something so pure, something with beauty only contested by yours.

Instead, he turned his attention to the crowd of rowdy drunkards and dancing fools, eyeing them for his victim. 

Lord, he deserved to be hit. Punched, kicked, bitch-slapped.

And still, none of it would be punishment enough for all he did to you.

Arthur cursed at the memory of that night only a few weeks ago, the night you finally left him. He didn’t blame you for leaving– oh, no, he could never blame you. You had every right to leave. Truth be told, he was surprised you stuck around as long as you did. 

But that night… he could never be angry at you for that. Not when you were oh-so-sweet, looking up at him with those big, helpless eyes and praising him with love he surely didn’t deserve. You were nothing but good to him as you confessed your fears of Dutch and where his needless obsessions would lead Arthur. You begged him to run away with you, leave the gang behind and quit risking his life every damn day. You were so desperate for him to leave, tears welling in your eyes as you clutched the front of his shirt… nuzzling your nose against his… peppering kisses along his lips and cheeks…

And what did he do?

Told you it was a nice dream, of course. Sure, he had his fair share of fantasies, mostly that involved a quiet life with you. But that was all it was to Arthur, a fantasy. He could never actually leave the gang. No, he could never. Surely you knew that, didn’t you? You knew Arthur well enough to know he’d never leave these good people behind. ‘course, you couldn’t understand, could you? You’d been with the gang barely even a year, you couldn’t understand the love he held for these people. These people who weren’t just his gang but his family. How could you ask him to leave his family?

And that’s when Arthur knew you were gone for good. The way you had stared at him then, pulling away from him as if he had just stabbed you in the heart– in a way, he had. The tears still trickled down your cheeks in steady streams, but your desperation was quick to turn to hurt, to anger. 

“Thought maybe I was your family,” you mumbled then. “I see I was mistaken.”

What a goddamn fool he was to watch you leave. Not a word of protest left his lips as you leaped onto your horse and galloped off into the night, so easily abandoning the life you had built there, your life with him. 

The first few days, Arthur was sure you’d return at any minute. He dodged Dutch’s requests to join in on whatever senseless plans he had, sending Charles or Javier in his stead and instead disturbing Ms. Grimshaw with questions of “Anything else I can do for ya?” Whatever it took to keep him busy and in camp, awaiting your return. 

Every minute of every day, his eyes were glued to the treeline, ears perked and waiting for the sound of horse hooves. One evening, Arthur had been fetching water from the lake when he heard the thundering of hooves, some surprised voices. Immediately, he abandoned the bucket, tossing it carelessly to the ground before sprinting back to camp. 

You were back! You had to be back, it had to be you.

Quickly was he proven wrong. It was only Charles, a large buck strapped to the back of his horse.The excitement hadn’t been in celebration of your return, no, only in glee that at least one of the men was finally doing his part around camp.

My, that’ll keep us fed for days!

Finally, someone’s puttin’ in the work…

Arthur turned away with a frustrated grumble. Where the hell were you? 

He made his way back to the shoreline to retrieve the forgotten bucket, though not without noticing the snickers and jeers from Bill and Micah. Arthur had made no effort to hide his desperation to find you; the two of them had seen him drop his bucket and rush to camp clear as day. 

Not that Arthur cared. So what if they laughed at him? He wasn’t ashamed for loving you the way he did. 

Eventually, Arthur could no longer keep himself busy with chores. Dutch oh-so-terribly “needed” him for this job, some train robbery that would take him far outside of camp. Reluctant as he was, the work kept him distracted for the week. 

Except at nights when he lay on his bedroll– listening to Sean’s snoring and John’s sleep talking– wishing you were there beside him. He’d lay with his arm slung around your shoulders, pulling you close as you rested your head against his chest. He would trace patterns along your soft skin as you rambled about an argument you had with a local seller over the price of peaches or the old letter you and Tilly had found from Uncle’s second wife. Arthur would watch you intently as you spoke, burying his nose into your hair while he pressed delicate kisses to the top of your head.

But then the job was done, and Arthur was back at camp thinking of you every second of the day, no longer just at night.

By then, Arthur began to doubt your return. He worried about never seeing you again, loathing himself for all the terrible things he said and wondering if those would be the last words he ever said to you. Arthur was never much of a religious man, but he prayed to God that wouldn’t be the case.

For a few days after that successful robbery, Arthur tried to keep a steady head. He tried to go about his business as usual, which only proved impossible when he was so distracted by you. So in a final attempt to put himself at ease, Arthur took a few days away from camp to just… spend some time on his lonesome. He occupied himself with hunting, fishing, riding, the usual. 

But mostly, he remained huddled in his tent with his journal in his lap. He focused on drawing but found that he could only draw you. He couldn’t help it. For Christ’s sake, he couldn’t even draw his damn horse who was standing right in front of him! When his attempts at drawing failed, he tried to write which proved equally as miserable. 

With nowhere to go and nothing to ease his worries, Arthur decided he needed to be punished for what he did. Maybe then you’d come back to him. And if you didn’t… maybe it would at least help him to not feel so guilty. He doubted it.

That brought him to the nearest saloon. And there he sat, scanning its patrons for someone strong enough to give him a good beating.

But his eyes were drawn instead to a young couple tucked away in a far-off corner, holding each other tightly as they swayed to the hum of music. Arthur watched as they clung to each other, away from the noise of the saloon and huddled away in their own little world. The moonlight fell beautifully upon the pair, revealing bright teeth that smiled lovingly and crinkled eyes as they shared a quiet laugh. Their love was radiating so purely off of them, making it as though they were the only two people in the world, the only ones they would ever need.

For a moment, Arthur thought he saw you. He could picture you sitting across from him now, the image so vivid with the way you would lean your elbows on the table just to be closer to him. You would watch him silently, though he could see hundreds of thoughts behind your eyes. And somehow, Arthur would know that one of those hundred thoughts was a desire to dance. So without another word, he would stand and offer his hand to you, the corners of his lips quirking into a smile as you beamed up at him and took his hand in yours. He’d pull you flush against his chest, one hand holding yours while the other found its place on your hip. You’d knock his hat back affectionately, complaining how you couldn’t see his pretty eyes. Arthur would laugh quietly, making some remark on how they weren’t that pretty, a claim you’d be quick to refute. 

But no, that couldn’t happen because now you were gone. His beautiful girl, the kindest soul had had ever known… The one so perfectly crafted to him he couldn’t even begin to imagine a life without you. Even now, when you were nothing but dust in the wind, Arthur couldn’t imagine his life without you. 

What an idiot, what a fucking idiot. 

Only he could be so foolish as to give up something as perfect as you. Goddamnit, he should’ve run away with you. He should’ve taken your hand and run. Run far, far away and never once look back. Sure, he loved the gang, but his affection for them could never outweigh what he felt for you. He knew then that he could never be as happy as he was when you were in his life.

“You fool…,” Arthur growled as he pushed away from the table and marched outside.

This late at night, the small town roads should have been empty but they were teeming with handfuls of people, workers scurrying to get home and families enjoying a cool evening walk. Arthur watched them from the saloon’s porch, leaning against one of its beams as he lit a cigarette. It was hopeless to think it would take the edge off. 

He released a billow of smoke from the side of his mouth as he glanced up at the moon. He could only hope that somewhere– wherever you were– you were looking up at it too, sharing this last peaceful moment with him.

“Thought that was you in there.”

Great. Now he was imagining your voice, the calming sound bouncing around his skull in a dull echo. Perhaps this was punishment enough, yearning for you in this way.

“I know you heard me.”

Arthur couldn’t help but be drawn to the sound of your voice, his eyes searching for its source despite knowing you wouldn’t be there.

Only… you were there. Standing in the road with your arms crossed protectively over your chest, there you were.

Jesus, he was hallucinating now? 

Arthur must have looked absolutely dumbfounded at the sight of you, your lips shaping into a small smirk. 

“I’m real, I promise.”

Arthur’s chest blossomed with warmth, heat creeping up his neck in a bashful blush. How was it possible you knew him so well that you could immediately tell– just from a look– he thought he was hallucinating?

Arthur watched intently as you moved to toe the dirt road, your nervous tension clear in the set of your shoulders and pursed lips. He put out his cigarette quickly out of respect for you, his eyes locked on you even as he tossed it to the ground. He wanted to move closer to run his calloused hands along the skin of your arms or even just to feel the warmth of your proximity. But he remained glued to the porch, his boots suddenly too heavy for him to lift his feet.

A long silence passed as Arthur stared longingly at you, your attention focused on a particularly fascinating pebble that you nudged idly. Arthur wished you would just look at him, but he knew he didn’t deserve to lose himself in the comfort of your eyes.

The silence finally ended when you kicked your pebble too far, just out of reach. With your only source of entertainment gone, you looked up at Arthur. He could see the way your shoulders sagged, though from exhaustion or disappointment he couldn’t tell.

The look on your face was expectant, waiting. He supposed you wanted him to say something. It was only fair. He was yet to say a single word, and with the way he just let you walk away all those nights ago… He owed it to you.

“What’re you doin’ out so late?” Arthur rasped. “It ain’t safe for ya.”

“You know I can handle my own just fine.”

“I know.”

And that was the truth. Arthur did know how well you could handle yourself, feisty as you were. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do everything in his power to keep you safe. You didn’t need him, but he would always be there if ever you did.

Assuming, of course, you would have him around.

A garbled noise left Arthur’s lip as he struggled to find his words. It was so difficult when you looked at him like that, your brows pinched together with confusion. You didn’t look at him coldly as you should have, only with concern.

“You’re, uh… you’re still around,” he said.

You idiot, ‘course she’s still around, she’s standing right in front of ya!

“Sure am.”

You moved to the side as a pair of young men squeezed passed you to get into the saloon. It was then that Arthur noticed how exposed the two of you were. Being just off the main road and standing so far apart– your voices echoing into the night– he was sure everyone in town could hear your conversation. 

Pushing off the porch beam, Arthur took a step back and gestured to a set of wooden chairs shoved up against the saloon wall.

“Why don’t ya come take a seat, sweet–?”

Arthur cleared his throat, hoping it was enough to hide the way he so desperately longed to call you sweetheart. But you had heard. He saw it in your knowing smile as you trudged up the porch steps, taking Arthur up on his offer and sitting down gracefully. Cautiously, Arthur took the seat beside you.

From the way you were sitting– with your legs crossed tightly and your hands gripping your knee anxiously– Arthur could tell you wanted to say something. He dared not speak, fearing that if he did you might never speak to him again.

“It was harder to leave than I thought,” you admitted suddenly, your words coming out in one quick breath. Another pause. “Guess I understand why you couldn’t leave the gang…”

Arthur sucked in a breath as he scratched his chin nervously. “Darlin’, I shouldn’t ‘ave–”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. I get it.”

For a terrible second, Arthur considered ending it at that, choosing to be silent. Again. 

No, he couldn’t do that to you, not again. You deserved better than that.

“No, it ain’t right. I did wrong by you. I shoulda been better.”

There was a flicker of hope in your eyes, mixed with the lingering pain. 

Arthur released a steady exhale as he took a moment to consider his words. Why was it so difficult to talk to you? You had only ever given him a safe, comfortable space to talk, to be vulnerable. Why was he struggling so damn bad now?

“Tell me what’s on your mind, cowboy,” you murmured, the same way you always did when his long silences persisted. “Why’re you havin’ a hard time?”

Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He deserved to be yelled at, he deserved your anger. But here you were, patient as ever, speaking in the kindest of tones. Lord, he didn’t deserve you.

“I guess… I dunno. I don’t wanna mess this up. I’m scared, darlin’… So goddamn scared.”

“Of what?”

“Losing you.”

There it was, plain and simple: he didn’t want to lose you, ever. 

He could barely survive a few weeks without you, how on earth would he survive his whole lifetime? However long it was.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Arthur repeated in a whisper, turning away from you timidly. “I can’t.”

He let his hat hang low over his eyes, hiding from your intense gaze. Only seconds later did he see you out of the corner of his eye, peeking forward to meet his eyes under the brim of his hat. Carefully– as if trying not to spook a startled horse– you reached up and tipped his hat back.

“Can’t see those pretty eyes.”

Arthur risked a glance at you. You offered him a loving smile. 

In that moment, he let himself hope, hope that his worst fear might not come true after all.

“No need for all that, they ain’t–”

“Oh, hush now. They’re real pretty.”

“Ain’t nothin’ special…”

“They’re special to me. Ya know why?”

Arthur hummed in encouragement, his brows furrowing. He couldn’t believe there was anything that special about his eyes.

“’cause whenever I look in them, all I see is love.”

And when Arthur looked at you then, he looked at you with just that.

“Well… it’s ‘cause I love you.”

It didn’t matter if you left him, it didn’t matter if this was the last time he ever saw you. It wouldn’t change how he felt, would never, ever change the way his heart swelled with so much love at the mere thought of you that he didn’t even know how to handle it. He’d love you if you left, he’d love you if you stayed. He’d love you with every breath, even his last. And even then, when he was long gone, he’d still love you.

Arthur waited for you to speak, the anticipation clawing at his throat. He swallowed hard to avoid choking on his own words, but the longer you said nothing, the more he feared it would be of no use.

“I can’t afford to lose a love like that,” you whispered sincerely. 

Maybe you didn’t say it, but Arthur could see it in your eyes. The same love in his eyes was reflected in your own.

“Talk about my eyes all ya like… they sure ain’t as pretty as yours.”

Your smile widened, a visible warmth spreading throughout your cheeks.

Arthur shoved his worry aside as he stood from his chair, offering his hand to you. You didn’t take it immediately, staring at his scarred skin silently. Arthur was hit by a wave of insecurity; he was almost tempted to pull his hand away with a quick apology. But before he could, your soft hand slid into his, and you let him pull you to your feet.

Christ, how had he ever gone this long without your warm touch? Already, his heart was pounding faster. And you were only holding his hand! He was sure he might implode the second he pulled your body against his.

Thankfully, he didn’t.

You took a step closer to Arthur, your chest nearly flush against his. Your hand remained entwined with his, your other coming to rest on his shoulder. With some hesitance, Arthur snaked his hand beneath your shirt and placed it on your hip, pulling you ever slightly closer. His finger brushed against your skin, reveling in your warmth.  

Inside the saloon, music continued to play. Faint as it was out on the porch, that didn’t stop the two of you from swaying to the gentle rhythm. You then began to hum softly, so softly that Arthur could barely hear that sweet voice of yours. He leaned closer to hear you, his cheek coming to rest atop your head in a way that felt all too natural. He worried then that you might pull away, but you did quite the opposite.

You rested your head against Arthur’s chest, snuggling closer to his warm skin and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Your humming slowly died down as you focused on the racing beat of his heart. This was a different kind of music to your ears. 

With your humming gone, Arthur took it upon himself to keep it up. He mumbled along the words to the muffled tune, pressing kisses to the top of your head between every breath. Together, you stayed wrapped in each other's arms. Every now and then, Arthur added a flourish that had you grinning like a little girl, his strong arms twirling you around and around. 

As he pulled you back to him, you stopped short to admire his rugged features. A smile tugged at your lips, one that Arthur wanted to kiss right off.

Instead, he met your unyielding gaze, mirroring your loving look.

“I ain’t losin’ you again,” he muttered.

He spoke it as a promise, a promise that he would never let you go again. Because if he did… he could never live with himself. No, you were the only thing that mattered, the only thing worth keeping around. He would never lose you again, his one and only.

[xndrexcruz]

I beg pls make more Marc Bernal fanfics 🛐

Starting to Slowly See You

✮- pairing: marc bernal x barca staff fem!reader

✮- summary: as you navigate your position at fc barcelona, marc’s thoughtful gestures and quiet support slowly make you question if there’s more to your friendship than you realized. though his feelings remain unspoken, subtle hints leave you wondering if you’ve been missing something all along.

✮- warnings: slow burn and kinda oblivious reader

✮- author’s note: thank you sm for the request! i hope you like it, also sorry for not being active and not updating in a while i just started my college classes and i feel like they’re tryna kill us already. ALSOOO thank you sm for 200 followers love you guys

✮- chapter’s: {current!} next ⤏

Working at FC Barcelona is more than just a job-it was a dream come true. But the early mornings, late nights, and constant work could get exhausting. If there’s one thing that made things easier, it was Marc Bernal. He’s always around, in subtle ways that sometimes would make you wonder if all of it was just a coincidence.

You would often cross paths during his breaks from training with the rest of the team. He’d sometimes walk into your office, sweaty and tired, yet he always made time to say hi or talk to you even if it was for a few minutes. You often found him leaning against your desk, a charming smile on his face as he asks about how your day was or offering to help you on whatever you were working on at the time. You appreciated the company, even though you didn’t quite understand why he always seemed to go out of his way for you.

One day, after an exhausting session, Marc came in with a bottle of water and a berry parfait, setting them on your desk with a small grin. “I thought you might need a pick-me-up,” he said casually, though his eyes lingered on you for a moment longer than usual.

“Thank you, Marc,” you replied, flashing him a grateful smile before getting back to your work. You had never really noticed the way he watched you, a soft expression always on his face, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words.

As the days continue to pass, these small but sweet gestures started to become more frequent. He brings you coffee when you had long meetings, waits for you after work just to walk you to your car, or would show up with your favorite snack when he knows you’ve been stressed out. You always excused his behavior as him being a good friend-after all, that’s what friends did, right?

One evening, after most of the staff had left to go to their families, you stayed behind at your desk, trying to finish up on a report you had due the next morning. The office is quiet, the only noice was the faint hum of the air conditioning in the building. You’re so focused on your report you didn’t notice Marc slowly enter the until he was right next to you.

“You’re still here?” he asks, startling you. “You work way too hard, Y/n, you should get home.”

You look up at him and smile, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest at the sound of his voice. “I’m just trying to get this done before tomorrow morning, I’ll go home once i’m done. What about you? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

He shrugs, leaning against your desk like he would every time he came into your office. “I thought I’d check on you before I left. See if you needed me to get you anything.”

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly at his words. “You’re always constantly checking on me, Marc. You worry too much.”

“Maybe I do,” he says softly, his chestnut-brown eyes holding yours off a second too long. There’s something in his gaze, something that makes your heart skip a beat, but before you can try figuring it out, he straightens up and throws you a smile. “But someone has to look out for you.”

You shake your head at his words, amused by his protectiveness. “I’m okay, really. But thanks for being so thoughtful. It means a lot to me.”

“Anytime,” he replies, his smile softening. “I’ll come see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” you say, watching him as he walks out of your office. You can’t help but feel a wave of warmth spread through you, but you just brushed it off as just Marc being the sweet guy he always was.

As the weeks pass by, you start noticing other small things too. Like how he’d always linger just a bit longer when he says goodbye, or how his touches-whether it was a hand on your shoulder or a brief brush past your fingers-seem to carry more weight than it did before. He was always there, throughout your day, quietly always supporting you in ways that were both comforting yet confusing.

It wasn’t until one particular day, after a long and challenging day, that you had finally started to piece things together. You’re packing up to leave for the day when Marc appeared at your side, like usual.

“You did real,y great today,” he spoke, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “Everyone was impressed, especially with how you handled that crisis.”

You smile tiredly at him. “Thank you, I’m just glad it’s over now.”

“How about I take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

You hesitated, a familiar flutter in your chest. “Dinner? I don’t know Marc…”

“We can keep it simple,” he suggests, his tone light. “Just a quick bite, it’s nothing fancy. I just… I thought it would be nice.”

There was something in the way he said it that made you pause. For the first time, you wonder if there was more to his constant attention towards you, his thoughtful gestures, than you finally realized it. Was there something he wasn’t saying? Something you had been to blind to see?

“Okay,” you agreed softly, watching as his face lit up with a smile. “Dinner with you would be nice.”

As you sat across from him in the cozy restaurant he has chosen, you find yourself focusing on him more closely than you ever have before. The way he seemed to always know exactly what you need, the way he would look at you like you’re the only person in the room, the way he never pressured you but was always present, waiting, hoping.

You couldn’t be,o but wonder if there was something deeper behind all of it-something he’s been trying to tell you without actually having to say it. But even as the thoughts consumed your mind, you pushed it aside. Marc is your colleague, your friend, someone you can always count on. It was probably nothing more than that… right?

As the night went on, Marc’s laughter and easy conversation made you forget all your worries, and by the time ge walks you towards your car, your smiling ear to ear. But just as you’re about to say goodnight, he does something that makes your heart skip a beat.

He reaches out and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary. “Goodnight, Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice low yet husky filled with something you couldn’t quite place.

“Goodnight, Marc,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. As you drove home, his touch lingered against your skin, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to Marc Bernal than meets the eye. But in the meantime, you decide to leave it as it is, happy to keep things as they are for now, even if your heard would beat faster whenever he was near.

[cloudcountry]

flaming & flustered

Genre/Tropes: Mutual pining AGAIN SIGH don't lie I know all of you love this. Unestablished relationship.

Summary: Your shitty laptop from Crowley stopped working, so you called the smartest person you know to fix it.

Author's Comments: Idia's hair turning pink when he's embarrassed is everything. Also Idia literally RUNS from you LMAO

~~~~~

“Idia, help! You’re the only one I can count on! My shitty laptop from Crowley stopped working and I need to do my assignments before tomorrow!”

Idia couldn’t help but leave his dorm just this once for you, pulling his hood over his head as he ignored the gawking stares of other students. Of course they would stare at him, he never left his room and yet he was leaving for a magicless Prefect that probably didn’t even care about him as much as he cared about them. But that was fine! He didn’t care! I mean, of course you called him, technology was the one thing he was good at and if you called anyone else to help you with it that would mean you doubted his genius and that he would once again be second choice because of course you wouldn’t want to see him-

“Idia!” you cheered, throwing the front door to Ramshackle open the second he stepped onto the front porch, “Oh, thank you so much for coming! You’re a lifesaver!”

He squeaked, face aflame as his hair turned pink. You didn’t comment on his flustered appearance, already leading him inside.

He was inside Ramshackle! He was going to die!

“Seriously, no one else is as good at technology than you. I’d be in your debt big time if you fix this for me. Please? I swear I’ll pay you back!” you pleaded, as if he hadn’t already agreed to help you out.

“It’s fine! Just let me work.” he huffed, eyes darting away from your puppy dog expression, “And I don’t need anything, okay? I just want to get back to my dorm...”

“You’re the best!” you cheered,  patting the seat next to you on the couch, “Come on, take a seat! I don’t bite.”

He flushed again, awkwardly sitting down next to you. He took the laptop in his hands and silently thanked you when you didn’t watch him work, opting to scroll through your Magicam feed. Eventually he was able to tune out your presence entirely, hyper focused on running updates on your laptop and checking out the software. Humming thoughtfully to him, he chewed on his bottom lip as he rebooted your machine. Hoping that would fix the problem so he could just go back to his room and play games, he nudged you gently.

“I fixed it.” he mumbled, placing the laptop in your lap.

You had the same look on your face that Ortho did when he wanted to give Idia a hug, but you didn’t make any sudden moves towards him. His heart fluttered at the show of respect for his boundaries as your laptop screen turned on, the background illuminating the screen.

“I know I keep saying this, but seriously. Thank you so much. You’re so smart.” you beamed, setting the laptop aside as you stared adoringly at him.

Idia felt the puff of smoke that came off of his head at your words, face turning bright red.

“It’s...It’s nothing!” he squeaked, jolting up from the couch, “Just-! Um-!”

“Idia?” you said, staring up at him with that smile on your face, “I can stop by the Board Game Club and play something with you, if you’d like.”

Why were you still trying to pay him back!?

“Um, yeah. That’d be fine!” he yelped, scurrying towards the door, “I’m gonna go now!”

“Okay! See ya, Idia! Thank you!” you called, the giggle that left your lips almost making the poor boy trip down the steps as he booked it back to his dorm.

[mimsynims]

Fool For Love

part 3

~~~

part 1, part 2

~~~

Author’s Note: First of all, thank you for the lovely comments! 🥰 Second, I’m writing this as I go, so while I’ll try to post every other day, it might come a point when I’m not done on time. Just so you know if it suddenly takes longer for the next part to be posted.

~~~

Astarion x reader/Tav

Tags: (mild?) angst, pining, pining while fucking, jealousy, eventual happy ending

Summary: You thought you knew what you were doing when you let Astarion into your bed. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and vice versa. Only… now you do. And you’re not handling it very well.

~~~

It’s almost sundown when you and the others are back at the camp again. It’s been a good day, all in all. You were able to stock up on potions and scrolls, and Karlach sweet-talked her way into a good deal on a handaxe. Not that you were there to watch it happen — Halsin’s favour had you talking to both the new leader of the Druids, Francesca, and Rath, the latter engaging you in a longer conversation than originally planned. Not that you minded, Rath is a good conversationalist. And quite handsome.

Yes, you did notice, but you kept it polite, not at all in the mood for flirting. Not when your thoughts continuously drifted back to a certain vampire that declined tagging along at the last minute.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but your eyes roam Halsin’s tent when you search him out to relay the information you gathered today. It’s probably a coincidence that Astarion decided to remain, but you can’t help but look for signs of someone sharing Halsin’s bed.

If Halsin sees you snooping, he doesn’t confront you about it, and you feel silly when you leave him to find the others. Who he sleeps with is none of your business, and you tell yourself that this is enough. Either you get over yourself, or you let Astarion go.

Which is easier said than done.

“Hey Karlach, let me see that axe of yours.” The rest of your party is gathered around the fire, preparing tonight’s meal. “From what I hear, I should bring you every time I need to haggle down the price for something.”

“Look at this beauty!” Karlach happily shows you her new weapon. “I’m going to polish it tomorrow, really bring out the shine it deserves.”

“How come you weren’t there, Tav?” Astarion sounds nonchalant, like he couldn’t care less but decides to ask anyway.

“I believe Tav had more important things to do.” Trust Lae’zel to come to your rescue.

“Halsin wanted some updates from the Grove,” you add.

“Mhmm, but surely that’s not the only reason why you talked for so long with Rath, Tav?” Shadowheart teases. “It seemed like you two really hit it off.”

“Yeah, he’s cute, Tav. Go for it!”

You want to look at Astarion, but you force yourself to turn your attention to Karlach instead, making sure to sound as casual as possible. “He’s nice, but…” You already have someone. “Perhaps you should go for him, Karlach, if you find him cute?”

“Nah, I have my eyes on someone else.”

It’s adorable, the way she lights up, and you wish you could hug her. “Hmmm, might this be a blacksmith we all know?”

“Tav!”

“This is secret to none, Karlach,” Lae’zel says. “Even a blind fool couldn’t help but notice the way you swooned when he helped you in the Grove.”

“I didn’t swoon!”

“There was definitely some swooning happening,” Shadowheart chimes in. “We all saw it.”

“Aaaanyway…! This was about Tav, not me.”

Dammit. You should’ve left for your tent when you had the chance. “No, no, I think we should talk more about you and Dammon.”

“Come on, Tav.”

“Yes, Tav, tell us all about your conversation with Rath.”

For a moment you somehow forgot that Astarion is there, too. “There’s nothing to tell. He’s just nice and easy to talk to.”

“Hmm, you’re not very convincing, Tav.”

With a groan, you turn to the wizard. “Not you too, Gale.” For someone so hung up on his ex, he sure looks jealous over the fact that you might be interested in someone else. “I know you all probably only mean well, but if you don’t drop this right now…”

You expect either Astarion or Lae’zel to make some kind of comment, but none of your companions say a peep. There’s an awkward silence for a few tension-filled moments and you wonder if you sounded too harsh. They only want your best, after all.

Thankfully, Shadowheart steps in, clearing her throat. “I think our food is ready.”

Once you sit down to eat, you watch them all as they talk and laugh. It feels like usual again, and you’re reminded how lucky you are to have come across such amazing people in this extraordinary situation life put you in.

Your gaze rests a little bit longer on your lover. He’s always beautiful, but it’s entrancing the way the flickering flames seem to caress his cheekbones, the arch of his nose. His smile. He’s laughing at something Lae’zel just said, and going by the look on her face, it wasn’t meant to be funny.

It’s quite the motley crew you’re leading — and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You freeze when you suddenly find yourself locking eyes with Astarion. He isn’t supposed to catch you staring, and you quickly look away even though you know it’s too late. You wait a few minutes, and when you glance in his direction again, he’s talking to Gale.

Why must it be so difficult? Are you making it more difficult than it needs to be? You want to be with him and only him, so why not just ask it of him? If he says no, you’ll at least know instead of always wondering. And if he says yes, maybe he’ll grow to love you back.

Once again, you wish you had someone to talk to — and after today you think you can confide in Karlach — but it feels good to have come to a decision. Hopefully you can get him alone after dinner, because you would prefer to have it done before the stargazing Gale has planned.

You allow yourself to imagine the two of you lying next to each other in the grass, holding hands, smiling. Or his arm around you, holding you near.

You refuse to think about the other option, even though it’s the far more likely outcome.

For now, you’re going to pretend that everything’s going to be alright.

[albatris]

today's natnowrimo word count is 50,112!! victory with a day to spare!

short update today since I'd best be sleepin soon

I'm going to an oddities and curiosities expo tomorrow! and I was meant to get a tattoo today but my artist was unwell :c that's okay! next week!

today's excerpt is.....

“Jen. It’s always a pleasure.” March’s face scrunched up, Nat supposed happily. March said, “And who is this?”

“This is Nat,” Jen said, latching briefly onto Nat’s arm. “He’s my personal bodyguard for this evening.”

March laughed. “You don’t think so lowly of my friends.”

“Of course not,” Jen laughed right back. “It’s Cheri Pharmaceutical I’m worried about.”

March laughed some more, and Jen laughed, and it went on a touch longer than Nat thought was comfortable. He wondered whether he should laugh, too. He wasn’t sure what was funny.

“Nat, how about you go get us some drinks?” Jen asked.

Nat scratched at his hands. “Us as in us or us as in you and Reuben March?”

Jen kept on smiling and didn’t look over. “Thank you, Nat.”

Will you be safe on your own? Nat thought about asking, but then figured Jen herself was the authority on where he should be at any given moment, so he might as well just listen to her. Nat abandoned the pair of them and zeroed in on one of the staff floating around carrying drinks on a plate.

“Hello,” Nat said. “What are these?”

“Sparkling wine, sir.”

Oh. Sir. Nat didn’t like that. He plucked two of the glasses off the plate and absconded from the interaction. If March wanted one, March could have one, and if March didn’t want one, Nat would just pretend it had always been for himself.

He shouldered his way back through the crowd as politely as he could, and stood aside from Jen and March and waited for them to notice him. Their conversation quickly trailed off into silence and Jen gave him a slightly irritated look.

“Do you mind giving us a moment, Nat?” she said, and Nat realised he’d gravely misread a social cue. Go get us some drinks was code for leave us the fuck alone.

How had he been meant to know that? Nat left them again and headed back into the terrifying mass of partygoers, resisting the urge to mumble rude words to himself. He downed one glass of sparkling wine, then shrugged and downed the other, too, hoping the alcohol would soften the edges of his nerves.

today's mood is multiple beautiful walks in the sunshine even though my legs wail in protest all the time and today's jam is "you're too weird" by fruit bats

bye everyone! I love you!

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 19

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 1.1k

Author's Note: Merry Christmas everyone! I come bearing a new chapter! Wow, can't believe it's been four months since my last update 😅 Sorry for disappearing on y'all! I can't commit to my previous bi-weekly schedule of updating, but it should be a lot better. Personally, I think this chapter is trash, and far from my usual writing (my beta says otherwise), so please extend a little bit of grace as I get back into the swing of things. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

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As Wolffe approached the room, he could hear Cara laughing and Comet talking in a funny voice. He shook his head at their silliness, but the smile that crept onto his face probably looked just as silly. He loved hearing Cara laugh, even though he was never good at causing it. His wife was the one who did the tickling and the funny voices at bedtime that made her laugh until her sides hurt, not him. He just liked to watch and listen, however, hearing it now only made the hole in his heart grow bigger. It was another reminder of what he lost. Perhaps out of selfishness, Wolffe opened the door to interrupt the raucous laughter.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Cara yelled as she jumped off the bed and ran toward the door.

Wolffe smiled and bent over to hoist her up onto his hip and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, baby. Did you have fun with Comet today?"

Cara nodded her head, eyes bright and crinkled with a wide grin. "Mhm. We went all over the place and, and we saw the tree!"

"Yeah?" Wolffe said, feigning a little surprise. "What'd you think? Was it like you imagined?"

Cara hummed. "It was smaller than I thought. Comet said there are planets with bigger trees."

"He's right," Wolffe said. "I've seen trees as big as buildings."

"Really?" Her eyes went wide with wonder.

"Yup. Some so high, you can't even see the tops."

"I want to see those!"

Wolffe chuckled. "Maybe someday."

"Why not now?" Cara whined.

Wolffe sighed and set Cara back down on the ground. "Because, I said so."

What was he supposed to say? Because he was fighting in a war and she wasn't allowed to come along? Or that she could get hurt or even die? His wife always told him there was no point in trying to reason with a child's logic because they'll always have another question buried among a thousand other questions, and a firm 'because I said so' was enough to get the job done. The other thing she taught him was to change the subject.

"Remember when you asked if you could come out with me this morning?" Wolffe asked.

Cara nodded.

"Want to come out with me tomorrow morning?"

Cara nodded with enthusiasm.

"Good," Wolffe said. "We're going to meet someone, so I want you on your best behavior."

"Who?" Cara asked.

Wolffe hesitated as he thought of what to say. "A… a new friend of daddy's. She'll be staying with us for a while."

Comet side-eyed Wolffe at the comment, but Wolffe glared back with a silent warning. Comet knew they were shipping out the next evening, and the wheels in his head were already turning about who this new friend could be. However, Comet also knew that Wolffe would kill him if he dared to mention their deployment to Cara before he did, so he kept his mouth shut, even though it ate him up on the inside.

"Will I like her?" Cara asked.

"I think so," Wolffe said. In truth, he had no information about the woman. He didn't know what her name was, what she looked like, who she was affiliated with, or what she was capable of, but he didn't have a choice at this point. It was either the mystery nanny or the mystery Jedi, and he'd rather take a chance on the mystery woman who Fox most likely already checked out. "She's a nanny."

"What's a nanny?" Cara asked.

"They help take care of children," Wolffe explained. The light huff that came from Comet did not go unnoticed and Wolffe turned his head to glare at the trooper with a sterner warning. This was hard enough as it was and he didn't need Comet breathing down his neck about how wrong it was to lie to his child. Without a single word, Comet rose from the bed and walked out of the room, visually perturbed and practically snarling out of Cara's view. Wolffe would deal with him later, but for now he still needed to convince Cara. "She's going to help me take care of you, like Mommy did."

Cara blinked, her face scrunching in thought. "Oh."

There was an awkward silence in the room and Wolffe didn't know how to fill it. He couldn't go into much more detail, or she might catch on that he was leaving, and now he didn't have Comet as back-up if he screwed up. She was a smart kid, after all, and was getting smarter every day.

"Will she be my new mommy?" Cara asked.

The innocent question punched Wolffe in the gut. The breath was sucked out of him to the point where he thought his lungs would never reinflate as images of his wife flashed across his mind, and in that split second, it felt like she died all over again. He knelt in front of Cara and shook his head. "No, baby. Mommy can't be replaced, ever." His voice quivered with emotions that he thought he was better at hiding. "Do you understand me? You're not getting a new mommy."

Cara frowned, eyes watering, but not a single tear fell. "Okay."

Wolffe took a deep breath to settle himself and then pulled Cara in for a hug. Another twisted tug-of-war was being fought between his mind and his heart. He desperately wanted to get away from everything that reminded him of his wife, including Cara, but he also desperately wanted to hold every last piece of her that he had left, which was Cara. It made him feel sick to want both at the same time, knowing that he could only have one at a time and both at the cost of the other.

"We're gonna be okay," Wolffe whispered, more for himself than for Cara. "I promise."

Cara tightened her embrace against Wolffe with little hands that used to be so tiny they couldn't even wrap around his finger. He'd give anything to have those cycles back, and he'd do it all differently. He wouldn't let his wife give birth alone, or miss birthdays and anniversaries, or miss Cara's growth markers or the doctor appointments. If he could go back, he would desert and start a new life somewhere far, far away from the GAR's reach, where he could take care of his family and enjoy them longer.

But that was why clones didn't get into romantic relationships, that was why clones didn't get married, and that was why clones didn't have babies, because that kind of life was never meant for a clone. Clones were bred for one purpose, and that was to serve the GAR from life until death with loyalty and honor. Love, peace, and happiness were never part of the original equation, and the loss of his wife was just proof that the galaxy hated him and his kind. He'd never be able to go back, and he may never be able to move forward. Only time would tell.

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[pinkdaisies9285]

Do the Fates Sing of Us?

Bob Floyd x F!Reader (Callsign: Nightingale)

Warnings: Angst with a Fluff ending, implied cheating, miscommunication trope

Word Count: 2,993

Author's Note: Hello! It's been a while since my last update but here is my next story! This one took a little longer but I wanted it to be really good. Thank you again my beta readers for reading. I hope you enjoy!

Why did you think this was a good idea? Trying to go back to the way things were before. Before you knew his warm embrace. Before you knew how he liked his coffee, sweet and not black, like most military men. Before you knew how kind his heart was.

His heart. The one thing he gave you so willingly and you broke it. Tore it to shreds, that someone will have to take the time to pick up every piece and mend it back together. Hopefully, they’ll be better to him than you were. Thinking about how much you hurt him and that you’ll never earn back his trust. This was what tore you apart, the loss of trust.

Is this what Hera felt when she realized Zeus wouldn’t ever warm her bed and heart? Feeling like you’re cursed to love a man who will never love you. Is this what all the great Greek tragedies felt like in real-time? Knowing your fate is to be one of woe and despair without your loved one?

A soft knock shook you out of the spiral you were in. Looking up, Natasha was standing in the doorway of your office.

“Hey, Tasha. What’s up?” you softly asked. You felt nervous talking to your ex’s coworker, but all your ex’s coworkers are also yours.

“Just wanted to see how you’re doing,” she replied leaning against the doorway.

This surprised you, considering you were the one who destroyed her WSO. You thought she would hate your guts. She would come to chew you out, not check up on you.

“I’m fine, I guess. I just lost the most important person in my life so I don’t know if I could feel better than fine,” you said while looking down at your desk filled with papers. The pages of patient information seemed more interesting than discussing your feelings.

“What happened, Nightingale? Like truly happened,” Natasha asked with a highly concerned expression.

What happened? One moment you were in a wonderful relationship with Bob and the next he was telling you that you weren’t worth the pain. The whole fight made you confused and angry. The anger was what destroyed you and the relationship. You had gotten so angry at Bob for accusing you of things that weren’t true that you threw it back into his face. Those words were what made the fight explode into flames. His face morphed from hurt to anger like you had never seen.

“I fucked up Tasha, that’s what happened. I said things I shouldn’t have and now he’s gone,” you lamented while looking at her. Natasha’s face showed utter pity. She knew something had happened between her WSO and her best friend, but not this.

“Well, have you tried to talk to him? Bob has always been understanding,” Natasha tried to suggest.

“I don’t think talking will fix this, Tasha. Besides you guys are leaving for five months tomorrow, it’s too late,” tears were starting to well up in your eyes. You lost something so important to you and now you have to bury the pain. He would never want you again, you said he was useless. You said that he wasn’t even close to what his fellow pilots could do. You said all his worst fears just because he had said yours.

–

He had said that you were cheating on him with another nurse at the base. That you were doing what all his past girlfriends had done, left him for someone “better.” None of this was true, the nurse he had accused you of cheating with was someone you would never go for. Apollo was a jerk who flirted with anything on two legs. He would try to make you see that he was so great at his job and that you two would be great together. Tired of his antics, you decided to play with fire.

“You’re so right, Apollo. That worthless WSO isn’t good enough for me. I should definitely be with a man like you,” you said with heavy sarcasm, which this man was known for completely missing the point.

“Really, Nightingale? Well, then–”

“No, Apollo, that’s what I would say if I were stupid enough to think a lazy idiotic man like you would actually be worth my time. So, please kindly fuck off, Apollo. You’ll never come close to Bob. Never in a million years,” you cut him off before he could become any more delusional than he was.

Little did you know that Bob had initially heard your “flirting” but didn’t stay for your rebuttal. He had come to surprise you with lunch but instead heard you call him worthless. Something he had been called before and knew he had to leave immediately.

When he confronted you later that day, he was broken and angry. He had tear stains streaking his face when he asked.

“So when were you going to tell me it was over? Huh? That you didn’t want to be with a “worthless WSO” like me?” he said this while trying not to let his anger spike. The anger was what surprised you.

“What do you mean, Bobby? Leaving you?” confusion laced your words while you had a troubled look on your face. Why would you leave him and call him worthless? Then it dawned on you.

“I heard you talking to Apollo, Nightingale. I know I’m only a WSO and not a pilot but that doesn’t mean I’m worthless. I know my value but it seems you have overlooked that,” he was shaking when he finished saying this. His voice had raised to a level you had never seen, kind of scared you.

“Bobby, what you heard wasn’t true. I said that to get him off–”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean it, Nightingale, you said it which means you meant it!” Bob yelled. He started to get a fire in his eyes that reminded you of an angry god. You had never seen him like this, hands curled into fists, eyes full of emotions, and his khaki uniform in disarray.

“Bob I didn’t realize that you were there but what I said after that was the truth,” you said with a desperate look in your eyes. This roller coaster of emotions was not what you were expecting. What could you do to make him believe you?

“Do you think I’m a joke? I’ve been through this before, Nightingale. I know I’m not worth it most of the time and I will always be the second choice. Yet, for once I thought I wasn’t but I guess I was wrong,” he shook his head while saying this.

Now you were angry. You couldn’t believe that he still thought of himself like this. You know that Bob was so much more than he thought but maybe you would never change his mind. You always had this fear that your love wouldn’t be enough for him. That you couldn’t be enough for him to realize he was the man of your dreams. You didn’t want anyone else and now you had to fight for it. This uphill battle you have fought for yourself and Bob.

“Will you stop saying that! Stop saying that you are not worth love and that you are the second choice! I get so sick and tired of you dragging yourself down!”

“But its tru–”

“No, it’s not true! You were never my second choice and you were always my only love. Bob, I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to get you to see this. I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” you said while tears were free falling down your face like a fountain of woes.

“What do you mean, Nightingale?” Bob asked with a quivering tone in his voice.

“I can’t keep trying while you’re not doing anything.”

Bob was going through a roller coaster of emotions. It was written all over his face, he knew what was going to happen.

“I think it’s best if we break up, Bob. I think we’re not happy with each other anymore and I’m tired of feeling worthless,” you said with defeat in your voice.

“So that’s it? You’re done with us?” Bob had gone back to anger once he heard these words. This wasn’t the outcome either of you had expected this conversation to go. This conversation was a house of cards that collapsed under pressure.

“Yes, Bobby, I think we need time apart if this is how we will be.”

These words were like a pair of twin daggers into both of your hearts. Twisting and jabbing the hurt deeper by the second. Bob felt like he had messed up big time when he realized you wouldn’t change your mind. Now, he had made his bed so he was going to lay in it.

“I guess then that’s it. Goodbye, Nightingale,” Bob said.

After that, he went back to his old truck and left. He didn’t put up a fight anymore and put the final nail into the coffin. All your fears had been turned into truths that rang so clearly that it shattered you completely. Now you had to live with the fact that the only man you wanted to live the rest of your life with is gone. Gone were the days filled with laughter and love. Gone were the days when you had your rock.

–

After you had cried in Natasha’s arms about the outcome of your and Bob’s relationship, you threw yourself into your work. Filing paperwork, checking on patients, and giving out stickers to the base kids who had come in for their shots. You did everything you could to forget that now you were alone and that even your best friend was not here. Natasha had also gone on the five-month mission with most of the Daggers. So, you had to figure out how to cope on your own. This wasn’t the first time you had to patch yourself back together alone.

When your grandma died, she was the only one who supported you through your entire life. Which meant no one was there for you afterward. She had been practically your mom because your own wasn’t present. She made you into the woman you are and you felt hollow once she was gone.

That was what you were feeling now, hollow. An empty husk of a person who didn’t know how to ask Death for your soul back.

For five months now, you have felt barely there. The talk with Natasha had rang through your brain for weeks now. With the end of her and Bob’s mission coming closer, you’ve had time to organize your thoughts on what to do. Which led to the final decision that you had to talk to Bob. You needed some type of closure, whether it was getting him back or not. You’ve felt like there was a ghost of Bob present all the time. Whether it was the coffee cup he always used or the faint scent of his cologne that lingered on your pillows, he was there. This made you realize you can’t settle with this specter of the man you loved. You wanted the real thing, the real Bob. So, at the three-month mark, you changed your mind about wanting closure. You wanted to try and fight for him. You wanted him back. He was your soulmate, you knew it and you’d be damned if you didn’t try to fight for him back.

With this new-found motivation, you decided to think back to how you handled the fight. You thought about how when you decided to play with fire it wasn’t a smart choice and it really destroyed the trust you had with Bob. You should’ve known better than to use the word “worthless” when you were talking about Bob. He had voiced his fears and insecurities that came from past relationships and you used it in such a way that not only reopened the wound for him but deepened it even more. You squeezed lemon juice straight into it by continuing to the farce. You felt like such a fool for thinking that your actions wouldn’t have some form of consequences.

Either way, now was the time to fight back. You knew Bob would be back at the Hard Deck the day after he came back which would be the best time to approach him. You had already texted Natasha about wanting to talk to him again and try to fix this. She had given you her full support, it was hard seeing her best friend and her WSO broken. So, you and her had made a plan to make sure he would be there and you could talk to him privately on the beach. You felt this had to go perfectly or you would lose him again.

–

The Hard Deck was packed like it always is after a deployment has ended. Officers were filling up every corner, but your only focus was finding one officer. Weaving around the men and women in khakis, you found the Dagger Squad in their regular corner near the pool table and dart board.

Your hands were sweaty and you felt out of place, something you hadn’t felt in years. Would he listen to you? Or would he simply brush you off and find a woman who was better than you? All these thoughts were running around your head that you didn’t notice you had almost made it to him.

Natasha had already acknowledged you when you walked in and was waiting for you to signal her. She knew to keep all the Daggers inside so you could sort this out. You nodded at her before you took a deep breath of courage. This was it, time to win your man back.

You approached Bob with a trembling heart but hope slowly blossomed in it. He was sitting in his regular corner and hadn’t looked up. You were trying to find the right words to say to him. Yet, your mind was a blank page standing in front of him.

“Bobby?”

Upon hearing your voice, he quickly snapped his head up. Finally, making eye contact with him made you even more nervous, what do you say now?

“Nightingale? What are you doing here?”

His voice was softer than you were expecting, there wasn’t a hard edge or malice to it. With his reply being more surprised than angry, you took that as a sign that your plan would work. Gathering more courage, you decide that it’s now or never.

“Would you mind coming outside to talk with me? Please?” your voice was soft but it slightly broke towards the end.

All Bob did was give you a small nod and gesture to the door. Leading the way, you make your way out to the beach so you can have some privacy.

Stopping so you were far from the Hard Deck, you turned around to face him. He had his hands in his pockets with a neutral expression on his face. Taking a deep breath, you began.

“Bobby, I know that I messed up. I want to talk about what happened and fix this.”

“Fix this?” he asked calmly.

“Yes, Bobby, while you were gone I was a shell of a person without you. I realized that how I handled Apollo was wrong and I should’ve been better about how I rejected him,” you said this without breathing in between your words. You wanted to make this better, and not worse.

Bob was standing there frozen and unsure what to say. His face had a multitude of emotions crossing it but there was a small glimmer of hope flickering in his eyes. This was what made you continue.

“I will say I think we should go to couples therapy if we do get back together. There are things that we both need to figure out and I know I want to do it with you. So please, Bobby, come back to me.”

By this time, you were a fountain of tears that looked like falling stars in the moonlight. You felt so desperate for this man to say something, but what you didn’t expect was to see him crying as well.

“Nightingale, I was a shell as well during my deployment. All I could think about was you and how we ended things was broken. I think we both shattered each other’s souls and left twin daggers in each other’s hearts but I want to heal with you, darling,” Bob said while wiping away your tears. He had walked up right after wiping his own and cradled your face like it was the most precious treasure in the whole world. His hands were warm and it filled the gaping wound that was left by the dagger. It trickled down slowly but surely and gave you hope.

All you could do was reply with a watery smile and lean into his hold. You knew that the road back to a strong relationship would be bumpy but worth it. Bob was your soulmate and you would do anything to make sure you and him see eye to eye. It was time that you and him shed your ghosts of the past and burn your skeletons that have been in the closet. Both of you know while staring into each other’s eyes that together you could rekindle your relationship and make it burn even brighter than before.

You leaned in and kissed him to seal your fate. A fate that no one else could change. One that was sung carefully by the proud Fates. Yet, all you could think was Fates be damned because you knew that you and Bob were not fated to fall apart. No. You were fated to sing your own destiny in harmony with him till the end of your lives. The Fates sang of a false ending that would never come.

Please like, comment, and/or reblog!

Masterlist

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune

[alistair-blackwood]

you can't carry it with you if you want to survive (Nimona 2023) - Chapter 2 (Preview #2) (New)

(Note: this is not the finalized draft; anything featured is subject to edits or deletion)

Preview #1 (Updated 01/21/24)

Crouched beneath the desk, scanning the floor for one last stray budget document, a sudden, sharp chime rang from his pocket, startling him so badly he jumped and banged his head into the underside of the drawer. Eyes watering, he settled back onto his haunches, bringing his phone to his ear with one hand and rubbing the back of his throbbing head with the other. “This is Ambrosius,” he said, vaguely noting the late hour and the unfamiliar number, but primarily relieved that his words hadn't emerged as a slurred, incoherent mess. “Sir Goldenloin?”  At the unfamiliar woman’s voice, Ambrosius narrowed his eyes, confused. “Yes?”

At his reply, the woman's sharp sigh of relief crackled the receiver, her voice straining with tears. “Thank Gloreth. I am so, so sorry, sir, I know this isn’t exactly protocol and it’s late and I'm not technically supposed to have your cell but I didn’t know what else to do and I–”

“Hey, whoa–” Ambrosius’ eyebrows shot up in alarm as he hoisted himself to unsteady feet. “Who is this? Are you hurt?”

“No! No, sir, I’m just–” The woman’s voice hitched with a wet sniffle. “I’m sorry. This is Officer Laurel, sir, reporting from the Starcrest hotel over on Willowbrook. The patrolmen's guild has received reports of a disturbance, sir.”

His stomach lurched. It could be a coincidence—the Cynarian workers weren't scheduled to arrive at the Starcrest until next week, why would there be any trouble now? And yet, apprehension flooded him as fleeting images of the angry, fearful faces he'd seen in the crowd earlier that afternoon raced through his mind. 

“What kind of a disturbance?”

“Around 2100 hours, a group of five young men were witnessed breaking and entering the lobby of the hotel and have begun vandalizing the property. One witness believes she saw one carrying a bat. Sir, they—” Her voice wavered. “We suspect they’re a group of knight-cadets, sir.”

Drawing in a sharp breath, Ambrosius pinched the bridge of his nose, struggling to keep his frustration from bleeding into his tone. “Where are you exactly? Are you in the lobby?”

Silence, followed by a sheepish sigh. “I’m in my squad car, sir. I’m– I gave them a stern warning, but I’m not a knight, sir, I'm just a meter maid! I’m not even authorized to carry a baton!” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m pretty sure they’re inebriated, sir.”

Understanding surged through him with a jolt. “You’re alone? Where’s your backup?”

“I, um, am the backup, sir. Captain says we’re stretched real thin and–” She let out another shaky sigh. “He said the kingdom comes before a bunch of foreigners, sir.”

Ambrosius clenched his jaw as he grappled with his escalating anger towards the captain, the cadets, but most of all, himself. Of course. The patrolmen’s guild had been spread thin for months. He’d known that. He just hadn't thought to do anything about it until it had already been far too late to take any meaningful action.

He’d need to take care of this before it grew into something he couldn't handle. He could argue with the patrolmen’s captain and demand they send proper authorities to take care of this, but that could just make things worse. On top of wasting time, he might just receive a gaggle of meter maids and other ill-suited ilk, and Gloreth only knew how things would spiral from there.

The involvement of the knight-cadets ensured that news of this incident would be plastered everywhere by tomorrow morning. It could hand Ambrosius’ detractors even more fuel in their campaign against him, and that wasn’t even mentioning what Ambrosius would do if the Starcrest's belligerent executive officer, after receiving word of this, decided to rescind their agreement. He would have nowhere left in the whole damned kingdom willing to give the Cynarian workers a place to sleep.

It would unravel everything he's been building towards. Six months of late nights and skipping meals and suffering the unfathomable growing gulf between him and Bal, and he’d be right back to where he started.

No, this required a delicate touch; better to take the initiative and get as far ahead of the situation as he could than risk leaving it to someone less capable. It would grant him much more control over the fallout, and, besides, Ambrosius had never been very good at sitting back and watching someone else do his job for him.

Never.

“Let me take the lead, Director,” Todd had said, eyes glittering with malice. “I’ll make it hurt. I’ll make it–”

“I’ll do it.”

The words had spilled out before Ambrosius had a chance to consider them. Not that it would have made a difference. He knew, with a fierce, burning certainty, that there didn’t exist a world where he didn’t, at that moment, assume command. The agony of taking the lead himself paled in comparison to standing aside and allowing Todd, cruel, bloodthirsty Todd, take charge of Ballister's manhunt in his stead—even if the difference amounted to little more than having to choose between carving his heart out or just driving the knife clean through his chest.

No. Ambrosius had never been very good at sitting back and watching someone do his job for him. Not when he couldn't live with the consequences.

He could still hear the patrolwoman’s sniffles over the receiver.  “Officer?” 

She hiccupped. “Yessir.”

“Officer, I need you to call your captain and let him know what’s happening. Confirm there’s no other patrolmen or knights else available to assist.” He doubted it would manifest anything useful, but he still had to do things properly. “Keep me informed of any changes at the scene, alright?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Stay calm,” he said, reaching over to grab his messenger bag. “I’m on my way.”

A shuddering gasp broke the receiver’s pitch. “Thank you, sir. Really, sir, I don’t know what I would have– I’m sorry, I know this isn’t exactly standard procedure–”

“None of this is your fault.” If Ambrosius had a better handle as to the goings-on of his own damn kingdom, perhaps none of this would have come to pass in the first place. This was his mess, it was only fair he cleaned it up. “Stay where you are. I should be there in about 20 minutes. Maybe 30.” 

“Thank you so much, sir. I’ll keep you updated just like you said. Those boys won’t be able to sneeze without me letting you know, sir.”

Ambrosius chuckled. “Let’s not get carried away, Officer.”

“Yessir! I won’t let you down. Officer Laurel, out.”

He hung up the phone and brought it back to his ear just as quickly to phone a cab. With his car on the way, he grabbed the liquor bottle by its neck and shoved it into the back of the dark, dusty cabinet.

Glancing down at his phone again, he pulled up Ballister’s contact ID, thumbing the side of the screen. Taking a deep breath, he started typing.

Hey Bal

Something came up. Shouldn’t take more than an hour

I’m sor–

But he deleted that part. After the things said that night, Ballister deserved to hear any apology from his own lips, not from behind a screen.

Instead, he said,

I love you

The response didn’t take long.

Okay. Just keep me posted

I love you too

With a weary sigh, he pocketed his phone and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder. The cab wouldn’t arrive for another five minutes—just enough time to brew a hot, sobering cup of black coffee.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c3. 'The conversation.'

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, italian, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: The Fruits, Paris Paloma.

abstract: Simon here, I saw Jude again, she's still going on about her theories, whatever. it's not even funny anymore and she has some weird secret I want to find out… still, she's a fucking menace to society. idk what's wrong with her probably got dropped on her head on purpose as a kid. don't blame the parents.

In the end, she did hear back from Price. An email. 'Scherzi!' She shouted out loud in her apartment. She sat down on the couch and Jinx hopped on with her, sniffing her laptop. An email from the captain, an invitation to a briefing. To discuss the situation. Tomorrow after your last session at 5pm. 'No vabbe, me fa parià…' she mumbled and wrote back that she would be there. They wanted her help on the situation, she had to come prepared. She was good, she did good. Look at her, who would have thought. She was in America all alone in her little apartment. She moved away when she was 18 and never turned back. She had worked in the most awful places with the most awful people to pay her studies. She hadn't been home in years, she had no friends, she was paying her bills, she had a car (she was still paying for it every month), she had her job and now higher ups were asking to speak to her about her take on a difficult mission! A life or death situation, she would solve the case and save the lives of millions of Americans. A fucking tidal wave. If my mom could see me now. She looked at her calendar on her laptop, she had sessions from 9 to 12 the following day, then from 3 to 5pm. Then the briefing, then ballet.

She did some research during the evening, she took the dog on a walk and then showered. She ended up smoking a little too much, she was nervous. She woke up early the following day. She stalked, or better, did research, on Arash's social media, along with his family's and friends' to gather any information that could help her. She looked up 'The Pilgrimage' author online, looked through his other publications. Not very famous writer. She kept thinking about the meeting all morning, she wanted to make a good impression and be useful to the captain. She was so nervous she nearly spaced out during therapy with a Sergeant with severe anxiety. She didn't eat lunch. When she knocked on Price's office door and heard him say to come in, she was a little surprised to see the captain wasn't alone.

Skull guy stood next to the desk in the middle of the office. He looked at her. He took very seriously the mask thing and skeleton theme, he had a black mask on, like the cotton Covid ones. Maybe he was just insecure. 'Jude thanks for coming on such a short notice' said the captain, signalling to sit down in front of him. 'This is Lieutenant Riley, Simon you met Jude.' She took a step in the direction of the Lieutenant, she wanted to shake his hand. 'Nice to meet you,' she said. He took her hand without making a sound, he just nodded slightly. His hands were cold. She sat down and so did Price. Simon was still standing. 'So, I wanted to update you on your patient. We spoke with him and three other soldiers about joining us to the next mission in Al-Jareena next week but he refused. Well…' he stopped, rubbing his beard in clear distress. 'He got up and came up to me saying his injury is not fully healed and he will not be able to be deployed. So I told him we needed him and he started to get nervous and left the room.' She listened without intervening. 'I know you have an appointment with him one day before we leave. I was wondering if you could maybe let me know if you find out something about this, he's required to leave with us, otherwise we'll have to report him. His doctors cleared him.' He showed her a piece of paper, sliding it across the table. It stated Arash's hand healed to full recovery. She read the statement before looking up at Price.

'Correct me if I'm wrong' she started. This wasn't gonna end well. 'He's supposed to leave the base and go on his little trip for one hour the day before you leave, the day before the mission, let's say to alert Khorram's men.' She quickly glanced up to the Lieutenant who was still standing silent with his arms crossed. He looked like he could crush her skull with a finger. She wasn't scared, she even found it kinda funny, his little costume. 'We could follow him. He could be updating the troops on your next movements and we could… catch him in the act' she said.

'Too risky.' It was Simon that spoke. He was British, his voice was deep. He had been debating on intervening in the meeting from the moment Price asked him to be present. He asked him cause he trusted him, and valued his opinion. Jude could have been informed and educated with her little theories and stories, but she didn't know how things worked in the army. This wasn't Cluedo. She had the same attitude when she walked in the room, maybe a bit less stiff. He took his time exploring her. Her pretty green eyes, her nose, her neck. She wore a blouse this time, with grey trousers. She still had those shiny high boots. She had her hair up, a blonde ponytail. He looked at her jaw. She had a mole on her cheek. He shook her hand, he could smell her deodorant. Her skin was warm, soft. It reminded him of untouched snow. He wanted to take her hand and look at it up close, hold it, feel her slender fingers and her pointy nails. He looked at her thighs pressed together when she was sitting. The curve of her hips. Her voice still sounded rough and serious. When he spoke to her she looked at him offended. 'Too risky' he had said. 'He would notice, he already suspects we're onto him.' He explained.

Hum…fuck you? 'Well if he's not guilty he will have no problem talking to you' she replied, still holding his gaze. She was brave. She was probably a few years younger than him, she had her little moment and now it was time to get back to reality. Yet, she still wouldn't listen. 'He doesn't have the doctors excuse anymore, he knows things are moving. You saw his m.o., he'll get out for an hour and…' she tried to convince him, she looked at Price for his approval, but he stopped her. 'Then we'll catch him when he comes back' Simon spoke without waiting for his captain. 'We can wait for your session and see if he says anything, or just force him into confessing.' Her lips formed a straight line. She didn't like his plan, maybe because it wasn't a plan, it was just sitting and waiting. He had dealt with much more complicated things than this, she could relax. 'You want to interrogate him and accuse him of what? Skipping his doctors appointments? You're wasting an opportunity to see where he's really headed when he sneaks off base', she quickly replied shaking her head in his direction. She had slightly turned her body towards him. 'You're the one who accused him first.'

'And I gave you proof, didn't I?'

He liked talking to her. Her voice still sounded weird, he couldn't pick up a particular accent. He understood she would't let it go.

'I think you're waisting an opportunity'

'I think you're thinking too much about it.'

I think I want to break your neck. She was mad now, he could see her, he could feel it. The air was cold around them again. She had the same expression as the first time he ever saw her a year back. She wasn't confident, or powerful. It was the look of rage. 'The nightmare that hunts you for the entire week' look. Fortunately, Price stopped them from discussing it further. 'Jude, do you think you can get him to talk about the mission? I will put down his name as one of the soldiers in the team, so he will know he's coming with us.' She was nervous at this point, but tried to keep her breathing stable. Could she get him to talk? She couldn't do it last week or the week before, he stopped listening. 'Yes, I will do my best.' She replied. 'Good, thanks. You'll let me know as soon as you finish, if everything goes to plan, we bring him with us and he complies to his duties, everyone is happy.' It wasn't going to go this way, she could feel it. They were making a mistake. 'If you feel like he's suspicious, you tell me and we'll keep him here and interrogate him, we'll see what's going on. Sorted?' He asked. She didn't respond for a few seconds, but nodded. I already proved to you he's fucking suspicious, what more do you want. They weren't listening.

She stood up and thanked the two for inviting her to the meeting, she assured them she would keep them updated. Her smile was fake, she still wanted to be polite even though she thought they were both fucking stupid. Ghost didn't feel guilty for going so hard on her, he looked at her leave while she was trying to hide her anger. He said what he really thought, that was what he had been trained to do. 'What's her deal?' he asked the captain on his way out. 'Jude?' the man looked up, then shook his head. 'She's a good counsellor. She has… she is a strong woman, I think she's good at what she does, I've always trusted her.' He said. You're lying. That's not enough, and it's not a fully honest answer. They were hiding something from him.

notes: translation: 'Scherzi!', you're joking! 'No vabbe, me fa parià' Naples dialect for having fun. I gave you an hint to where she's from <3

notes: are they making a mistake? also, what's the deal with Jude hu?? reblogs and replies are highly appreciated!

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[ageofbajabule]

Dawn of Love | Chapter 4

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety, Sad Jake (just a little scene), Protected Sex, Depression, Talk of Cancer, Arguing, Fear of Abandonment, Mention of Death. (Please let me aware if I miss any!)

If you haven’t read Chapter 3 be sure to do so! And here is the Masterpost for the series.

Author’s Note: Hey!! I know it’s been a long time coming for this update, and I’m sorry it’s not a huge update. Time jumps are happening, especially within the next chapter as well. This chapter is really a filler, but it also adds more to the story that will make sense as it progresses so I do hope you enjoy it. I make sure that my work is up to par, and always give it my all. We’re almost halfway through the series!☺️

October 2014

All the trees have turned over, leaves starting to finally fall off the trees. Michigan was beautiful this time around, and Josh knew it was your favorite season. Perfect time for sweaters and hoodies, bonfires, apple picking and pumpkin patches.

University was offering a fall break a week before Halloween weekend. Josh had opted in making sure you guys had your halloween costumes planned out for Halloweekend here on campus. The costumes he had picked out were great for the two of you.

Josh had mentioned to his parents that the two of you would be staying over at their place for your fall break. Within the past month, your relationship with your dad hasn't been the greatest. He was still concerned about you attending school for a film and photography major. He still thought you should major in something that would “Logically” benefit you.

You felt bad about not staying at home to at least spend time with your mom and sister. But made sure to tell them you would spend time with them before you returned back to campus.

Josh and yourself had been extremely busy working on a film project that was due before your winter break. It was worth 60 percent of your grade. And he was taking every single measure and precaution for this film project. He was making sure the script was perfect, while he had you focus on costumes, make-up. And the two of you together focused on settings, themes, locations and how you were going to film it.

Jake was kind enough to help his twin out with another film. Even Ronnie had decided to join in on the project, a little family affair if you will. Josh said he trusted them to kill their roles they had been assigned. You even had your sister be a part of it as well.

It was finally Friday, Josh and you had your last class of the day. This weekend began your fall break, and the guys had a gig tomorrow night at Fischer Hall. They were excited to be performing there, they actually had been asked to come back a few times as the locals loved their performance. You were absolutely thrilled for them.

On the drive back home, you and Josh had made sure to stop by your house first as your dad was out for the day and your mom and sister were home. You hated having to avoid him, but just did what was best for yourself.

Upon arriving you and Josh made your way into the house, smelling your mom’s baking and hearing your sister’s music playing in the house. “Mom? Olivia?” You called out, walking into the kitchen you find your mom and sister baking cookies.

“Oh hi sweetie! I didn’t even hear you come in.” Your mother giggled softly dusting the flour off of her hands, pulling you in for a hug.

“I was wondering why it smelled so good in here.” You giggled hugging her back. Josh went to hug your sister while your mother kept hugging you.

“Your father is out for the whole day. Went on a fishing trip with the guys.” Your mom pulled away, and immediately went to hug Josh.

You walked over to your sister pulling her in for a hug. “Are they driving you insane these days?” You giggled.

“Always…” She laughed, hugging you tightly.

“Are you guys hungry? I was going to order takeout.” Your mom smiled as she resumed mixing the batter.

Josh and you both nodded in agreement. “Whatever you had in mind will be fine.” He smiled softly.

“I was thinking chinese.” Your mom hummed softly, as she continued to finish making up batches of cookies.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, catching up on what’s been going on for you with college. And your sister’s sophomore year, and how close her, Sam and Danny have gotten since you’ve gone off to college. It was nice to catch up with them as you hardly got to call them lately. You’ve been so busy with everything and felt ashamed for not reaching out more.

“Well sweetie, I’ve made up a jar of cookies for you to take back with you to campus. But you can grab them before you go back.” She smiled, putting the jar away to not be touched.

“Thank you mom, for everything. I really don’t know what I’d do without you…” You smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

“Oh, I’ll always be here for you. You know that…” She rubbed your back, hugging you tighter.

“Now, don’t be a stranger you two!” She pulled away smiling at the both of you.

You said your goodbyes to your sister, then headed over to Josh’s place.

Josh opted for parking in the street, as he wanted to let his parents have access to the driveway. He helped grab your bag from the backseat as you entered the house, you could hear his dad playing his harmonica and laughing from inside the family room.

The two of you went downstairs to the basement, preparing the pullout bed. While setting your things down there. Eventually Karen came downstairs to greet the two of you.

“Oh you guys made it in!” She smiled softly pulling you both in for a tight hug.

“Hi mom.” Josh chuckled softly, rubbing her back.

“How have classes been?” She pulled away, putting her hands on her hips.

You and Josh look at each other not sure who to let speak first, but then Josh cuts in.

“Classes have been great! Y/N and I have quite a few together, but some others we don’t.” He rubbed your arm softly.

“Yeah, Josh has been a great help though as well. I thought for sure I was gonna be lost on campus.” You giggled softly.

“It’s nice that the two of you have each other… I’m sure you’ve made plenty of friends though.” She smiled brightly. You smile softly, seeing how similar Josh and Karen’s smiles were.

“That we have. It’s a very different atmosphere, but it’s nice.” Josh smiled.

“Well I know you guys ate already, I talked to your mom Y/N. I’m sure the two of you are tired and want some rest. So I'll leave you to it.” She smiled, kissing Josh and your cheek softly.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Mom.”

“Goodnight Mrs.Kiszka.”

The next day Josh and you were woken up by Jake and Sam bickering.

“No Sam! You can’t just make a last minute change of the setlist. We need to all be in agreement with it.” Jake yelled.

“It’s just because you don’t want to perform this one fucking song!” Sam yelled back at him.

“Samuel Francis!” You heard Karen yell out.

“I’m sorry mom… But seriously Jake. Get over yourself, just say you want total control of it.”

You walked up the steps to see Sam storming past you running upstairs to his room slamming his door shut.

“Good Morning sweetie!” Karen beamed, pulling you into a hug.

You hugged her back, swaying with her. “Good morning!”

She pulled away slowly, and resumed back to making breakfast. Waffles had been made, she was cooking bacon and finishing up the eggs.

“I hope you’re all hungry. Especially for today’s events.” She smiled softly as she finished cooking and getting plates out.

“Let me help you set the table.” You rushed to help her setting the table.

“Thank you.” She smiled, kissing the top of your head.

Eventually Josh made his way from downstairs, heading into the kitchen getting himself orange juice. He helped the two of you with the table.

“Good morning, sunny.” He kissed your cheek softly.

“Good morning.” You hummed softly.

“Samuel, come on down and eat.” Kelly yelled, coming into the dining room.

Everyone eventually piled in, sitting in their normal seats. You could feel the tension between Jake and Sam, as Kelly tried to make a conversation happen with Ronnie. Which worked, Ronnie talked about how she was planning on studying abroad after graduation.

As everyone listened to Ronnie talk about her future plans, you sat back thinking of all the choices you were making lately for yourself. Worrying if you had made the right ones and that you weren’t going to regret then later. But the love you had for photography and film was strong, and you couldn’t see yourself doing anything else but that.

Your thoughts were shortly interrupted by Josh, “What do you think, Sunny?

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” You shook your thoughts away giggling softly.

“My parents were wondering if you wanted to join us this year on our annual ski trip?”

Karen and Kelly were looking at you smiling softly.

“If it’s not a problem, I’d love to join!” You smiled brightly.

“Of course it’s not a problem! You’re a part of the family now.” Kelly chuckled softly.

Arriving at Fischer Hall brought back memories from the first night the guys performed there. They were so nervous, but now they frequently play a show here. And since then they’ve earned quite the audience. You were helping bring gear into the Hall, helping the guys set up.

Since being around them more, you’ve learned where everything goes, how to help tune Jake’s guitar. You’ve probably remembered some notes by now even. But you wouldn’t ever pick up an instrument.

Jake was agitated tonight, it was plain to see in his face. You normally let him come to you if something was bothering him, but tonight was the night you would ask him yourself. He was hanging around the back, pacing back and forth.

“Hey Jake… What’s going on?” You said softly as you treaded lightly.

“Val. She uh. She wanted to-“ He let out a big breath. “She broke things off.” He said flatly, his eyes glossed over.

“Oh Jake… I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” You pulled him into a hug.

He hugged you back tightly, “It only happened just this morning… Hence why I was being an ass to Sam.” He sniffled while chuckling.

You giggled, pulling away slowly, “He’ll understand one day.”

“Yeah, and besides… I should’ve known that she wasn’t going to stick around much longer. She’s in her senior year, and her dad thinks we’re going absolutely nowhere with the band… Maybe it's better off this way.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, I for one think you guys are going places. The talent you all have! Come on.” You smiled softly.

“Thanks Y/N… You have no idea how much that means to us, especially Josh…”

You nodded, smiling softly. “Come on, it’s almost time for y’all to perform.”

Especially Josh… What had he meant by that?

December 2014

Winter break had finally come, Michigan weather wasn’t easy to adjust to. Even after living two winters here. Classes wouldn’t restart until a week after the new year, so you had an entire month of freedom from classes.

Josh and yourself were excited to finally be done with your first semester. Your final project for your film class that the two of you had worked on was a major success.

You had decided on staying at the Kiszka’s house again over your winter break. Things with your dad were still rocky, you were absolutely convinced he would never change his view on your passion.

Arriving at their house, the front lawn and front of the house was decorated in Christmas decor. You smiled softly as Kelly was helping Karen finish the last touches to the snowflake lights they were placing alongside the house.

“Oh hey kiddos! We’re just finishing up.” Karen smiled softly finishing the last touches as Kelly helped her down.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Kiszka!” You smiled hauling your bag with you as Josh followed behind.

“Oh honey please, call me Karen. You’ve known us long enough now, and you’re family.” She giggled softly pulling you in for a hug.

Family. You hadn’t felt so welcomed in what felt like a long time. Sure everything with your sister and mom were good, but since things were still rocky with your dad it made it difficult to feel like a family with them.

“Now we are set to leave around 8am tomorrow. It’s about a 5 hour drive. But the boys always just sleep on the way there.” She giggled softly.

“I’ll be okay to sit in a car for 5 hours. I’ve sat in one for 16…” You groaned remembering back on the trip back to Florida one year.

“Besides, sunny you’ll have me to keep you company.” Josh kissed your cheek softly, he gathered your things, throwing what was going on the ski trip into his parents vehicle. While taking the rest into the house.

Karen ushered you to go inside, you smiled walking into their home seeing their Christmas tree was put up with just the lights.

“We were waiting for the two of you to get home before we decorated the tree.” Karen smiled, pulling the box of ornaments out.

“It's a family tradition to help out decorating the tree together.” Kelly rubbed Karen’s back.

You smiled in awe of them. As they opened the box, revealing all of the ornaments they’ve collected over the years. You smiled softly looking at the ornaments made for each of them for their first christmas. You traced your finger over the details of Josh’s first ornament.

“Oh Josh was the cutest baby…” Karen sighed softly, reminiscing. “All of you were cute!” She laughed, looking at them all.

“It’s okay mom, we know Josh is the favorite.” Ronnie chipped in.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josh bickered back, as Ronnie giggled.

“Mama’s boy.”

“Okay Ronnie. Daddy’s girl.” He rolled his eyes at her. You playfully smacked his arm, “Be nice to your sister.”

He stuck his tongue out at you playfully. The two of you and everyone else started to put ornaments on the tree. After about a few minutes of setting the ornaments in their rightful place the last thing to be added was the star.

“Jake, would you do the honors?” Kelly asked, handing him the star. Jake nodded, taking it from his hands, stepping on the step stool placing the star on top of the tree and plugging it into the lights.

Once he stepped down carefully everyone stood back admiring the tree before Sam plugged it in. “Go ahead Sammy.” Karen smiled at him softly.

Sam then plugged the lights into the outlet, making the tree come to life. It was all colorful and beautiful. Everyone gasped in awe. “Good work everyone.” Karen smiled, clapping her hands.

The rest of the night was spent making dinner with Karen for the family. She ended up making the boy's favorite dish, as well baking some brownies to end the night.

“You know Y/N… You bring the best out in Joshua.” Karen smiled softly as she put away the clean dishes.

You smile softly looking out to the family room seeing Josh getting into a serious card game with his siblings. “I like to think he brings the best out in me…” You blushed, turning your attention back to his mom.

“Anytime he needs help with planning your dates, he always calls me. Freaking out if he’s doing the right things, saying the right things. And I always assure him that he’s doing just fine.” She giggles softly, finishing up with the dishes.

“So you’re the mastermind…” You giggled while taking a sip of your hot tea.

“Ah, not necessarily. I just tell him to speak and think with his heart. I play no part in planning.” She giggled while taking a sip from her mug.

“You are raising great boys Mrs. Kiszka…”

“Call me Karen… We’ve gone past this, you’re family now.” She walked over to you pulling you in for a hug.

You hugged her back tightly. “Thank you guys for letting me be a part of this… It means a lot to me. More than you will ever know.”

“Oh sweetie,” She pulled away slowly, grabbing your face with her hands. “You are always loved and accepted here. Don’t you ever doubt that for a second.”

You felt tears brimming at your eyes. She wiped them away quickly. “I know things have been hard with your father… Your mom and I speak all the time. And I just want you to know, don’t ever be afraid to reach out to us.”

You nodded slowly, gathering yourself. “Thank you…”

“Come on, let’s see what these hooligans are up to.” She patted your arm softly.

The drive to the ski resort wasn’t too bad. A little cramped and bumpy, but fun nonetheless. The cabin they have reserved was beautiful, it was almost similar to the lake house they had. Josh and yourself got your own room, everyone did actually this time. You all unpacked your bags, then got in your skiing gear.

Josh, Jake, and yourself opted for snowboarding on your trip here. Where everyone else was going skiing. You liked the thrill better of snowboarding than skiing. Especially the flexibility that came with snowboarding. You grabbed your board, following behind Jake as Josh walked beside you.

The three of you then hopped onto the lift, taking in the scenery as you went up the trail. “This is really beautiful here…”

Josh smiled, “You’re beautiful.”

“Oh, how original Josh.” Jake chuckled, as you lightly smacked him.

“It’s definitely beautiful out here. We’ve been coming here for what…. 6 years Josh?” He looked at his twin.

Josh then nodded, “Yeah. We used to go to another ski resort for years before we found this one. This one was closer and had a lot more to offer.”

Before you knew it, you reached the top to get off of the lift. You walked over to the hill incline where everyone started to go down the slopes to ride their snowboards.

“Don’t be nervous, it’s a little scary at first. But you’ll get the hang of it.” Josh smiled, rubbing your cheek softly.

“I’ll be fine.” You smiled softly, kissing him.

He kissed you back, then pulled away as he pulled his goggles down and put his mask to cover his face from the harsh wind. In which you did the same, you then placed your feet into your board clipping your feet into place.

Eventually Jake had already made his way down the trail, picking up speed as he went. Like the dare devil he was. You decided to take your time down the slope when you first pushed yourself to go. Josh stayed somewhat behind you to keep an eye out for you. You giggled softly as you started to pick up the speed, and went around people on the trail. Josh now had to keep up with you, you looked back to see he was practically on your tail now.

You could see him shaking his head as he chuckled. You finally reached the bottom of the slope, removing your goggles while looking over at Josh who just stopped.

“Not bad for your first time there, sunny…” He smiled softly.

“I guess I had a good teacher.” You shrugged, laughing softly. Making him shake his head as he broke into laughter.

Late July 2015

First year of college had been relatively the easiest year. But your next year wasn’t going to be, you had even more classes to take this semester than the last two. Assignments were bigger, and tests were worth more to your final grades as you read some of the requirements for said classes.

Josh and yourself had spent most of the summer at each other’s houses. Your father had tried to work better on your relationship, but it was still rocky. You were only ever really home for the sake of your mom and sister. The guys have been picking up more gigs and have recently been working with a record label in talks of potentially signing. You couldn’t be any happier for them.

The guys and yourself took a day trip to their family’s lake house. Josh wanted to get you out of the house and away from home to get your mind off things. He always made sure you were in touch with nature, said it helps cleanse the mind. Which you couldn’t argue with that.

You were looking forward to spend a day away. You hadn’t been giving yourself the much needed time away. Josh had planned a small picnic for the two of you, and made it clear to the guys he didn’t want them bothering the two of you. The two of you walked to the other side of the lake where another dock was at. He laid everything out for your small picnic, where in the distance Sam, Danny and Jake looked like little beings. You never took in how big the land was here.

“Sunny, can you pull out the strawberries?” He smiled softly at you as he placed everything else out. You nodded, reaching into the basket pulling out the strawberries. Noticing they were covered in chocolate.

“How did you know!” You smiled softly, looking over at him.

“A little birdie told me.” He smiled, kissing your cheek.

You blushed at the thoughtfulness. Chocolate covered strawberries were one of your favorite snacks. Especially in the summertime. You pulled one out offering it to Josh first, in which he obliged by taking a bite. He then grabbed one feeding it to you. Giggling softly you eat from his hand.

“Thank you for taking me out today…” You sighed softly.

He nodded, “I figured we could both use a day away from reality.” He grabbed your hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

You looked at all of the trees, listening to the birds chirps and the summer breeze rolling through making the trees bustle. Breathing in the fresh air, as Josh slipped behind you letting you rest against his chest. He began to play with your hair, running it through slowly. Humming contently as he massaged your scalp.

“I love you…” It came out rather quietly from your lips.

“I love you…” You could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

His hand one hand traveled down your arm slowly, lightly tracing down to your wrist and dragging it back up. Giving you goosebumps as he did that. You giggled softly, running your hand along his free hand.

His hand then crept its way across your abdomen, slipping down your waistline slowly as he stills his hand. “Is this okay mama?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, “Y-yes…” You nodded softly, leaning into his touch. As he slipped his hand past your bikini bottoms, his fingers gently brush over your bundle of nerves causing a slight gasp to escape your lips.

“All this for me…” He whispered against the shell of your ear, nibbling at it softly.

“All for you….” You moaned quietly as his ring and middle finger slipped inside of you. He pumped them slowly as he planted kisses down your neck.

Biting your lip softly, you look out at the lake to see if anyone would notice such a lewd scene. But you were broken out of your trance.

“They are too far away from here to even notice… Just let go for me… I know you’re there, I can feel you tightening around my fingers.” He kissed your cheek softly.

You nodded slowly, letting your orgasm wash over you as he kept pumping his fingers. You moaned his name out, he let you come undone holding you close to him. You could feel his erection pressing into your backside.

Sitting up as you turn around to face him you see his honey glazed eyes. You giggled softly, slipping your hand into his swim trunks, taking him firmly in your hand pumping slowly.

“Baby…” His breath hitched,

“Shh… It’s my turn to take care of you.” You smiled softly, pulling his trunks down to reveal his hardened cock. You could see the tip was leaking with his arousal swiping it gently with your thumb rolling it over, causing a hiss from him.

Gently you take him into your mouth, settling yourself between his legs, you took every inch of him slowly without making yourself gag. You had been working on getting better with it, he always assured you that you didn’t have to go down on him. But the thing is, you liked to.

Hearing your name fall from his lips made you hum in response, you started to pick up the pace by using your one hand to stroke him as you bobbed your head up and down. Your saliva coating his cock as you take him into your mouth.

His head rolled back, as his eyes did too. His one hand took a grip to your hair, holding it back for you as you kept sucking him off.

“Baby… You keep going l-like that. I’m not gonna last much longer…” He was twitching slightly, you removed your mouth, sighing softly.

“I need to feel you.” He kissed your lips softly, grabbing a condom from the basket he had made up.

“Always prepared…” You giggled softly, removing your bottoms as he ripped open the package placing the rubber over his dick.

“As much as I’d love to have kids with you, one day. But today’s not the day.” He chuckled, laying you down gently on the towels he brought along. He lined himself up with you, teasing your entrance.

“I thought you were just saying you needed to feel me?” You got cocky with him, earning a shit grin from him.

“Don’t be a brat…” He growled at you. With that he slipped himself inside of you, earning groans from the both of you.

Slowly he began pumping in and out of you with languid strokes. You wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you as your legs wrapped around his waist. He bent down kissing your lips softly, eager to kiss him back, slipping your tongue into his mouth.

Panting for one another has he kept at his strong pace, he lifted your one leg to rest against his chest to get a better angle. To hit deeper, you let out a cry of pleasure. He smirked, kissing the inside of your leg as he kept thrusting harder.

“J-josh…” Your eyes rolled back as he kept hitting that spot he knew so well.

“I know baby…” He moaned out, his hair sticking to his forehead.

You felt the band inside of you ready to snap, with the next few thrusts your thighs started shaking as you let your second orgasm come over you. Josh’s hips stuttered as he came as well, breathing heavily he kissed your lips softly.

“You’re so perfect, my sunshine…”

Early October 2015

Josh and yourself got assigned to the same dorm building again. This time the two of you were on the same floor. Your classes this semester only two of them you shared, whereas all the other courses you were by yourself. But the upperhand of that was room for you to grow.

You started to get more involved in your photography, earning more clients with your work. And take it upon yourself to start a short film with a classmate. Josh encouraged you to take a leap at a new project with a new partner rather than working with him all the time.

Your parents had called you urgently this Friday and asked you to come home for the weekend, in which you couldn’t argue as you missed them. Josh opted to stay on campus this weekend being he had a project to work on.

Arriving home, it was dead silent in the house. You looked around, calling out for anyone.

“In here pumpkin…” Your dad called out, heading towards the dining room is where your family sat. Looking like an intervention.

“What’s going on?” Your nerves are catching up with you now, as you fidgeted with the chair pulling it out to sit beside your sister.

“Y/N, sweetie. Your father… well.” Your mother’s voice was breaking as she tried to speak.

“I have kidney cancer.” He said out flatly.

You felt your heart sink, like an anchor lowering to hold its ship. Tears started to form, “How long have you known…”

“It’s only been 3 months…” Your father choked out.

“Why didn’t you tell me then!” You felt angry with your father and that they waited this long to tell you.

“Because you were getting ready to go back onto campus… And we didn’t want to drop it onto you, until it got serious.” Your mother spoke softly.

“I have to stay here, I can take a couple weeks off. Help around…”

Your parents shook their heads, “No you can’t jeopardize your education.”

You sniffled back tears, “No. I want to take a break. I need to be here with you… We haven’t been on the best of terms, and I’m not going to potentially lose you without spending more time with you.”

“Honey, my days are filled with chemotherapy… I don’t think you want to see me go through all of that…”

“Dad. You have always been there for me, it's our turn. Let me be here for you. Just for a couple weeks? I’ll go back after Thanksgiving break. I can talk to my professors and I'm sure they will understand.” You walked over to him kneeling beside him.

“Pumpkin. It’s shouldn’t be too much of anything to worry about. The doctor’s are hopeful the treatments will work. They’ve seen great results.” He smiled cupping your cheek wiping away your fallen tears.

“I promise I will go back after Thanksgiving break. Just please… Let me be here with you. I will never forgive myself.”

“Alright, fine. But you are going back after Thanksgiving break. And be sure to have all your professors know.” He gave a half smile, hurt that his daughter was giving up her schooling to spend time with him.

It had been 2 weeks since hearing the news, immediately that night you had called Josh letting him know everything. And that you wouldn’t be returning to classes until after Thanksgiving break. He was understanding of your choice and supported it all.

Josh kept you up to date on all the things happening on campus. In which you were grateful for, but it made you feel like you were missing out on so much, although you wanted to be here for your dad through these hard times. Especially with helping your sister get through her junior year, Sam was helping her with her assignments over the last two weeks as well.

Josh’s POV

It has been almost 3 weeks since Y/N found out about her father having cancer. Hearing she was taking a break from school broke my heart, knowing how much it meant to her. But, she always knew what was best for her.

Lately I’ve been questioning what I want to do with my life… Film has always been such a passion for me, but this whole music thing with Jake is really starting to become something. And I’m terrified to even explain that to her, she would be heartbroken to find out I’ve decided to drop out.

I have to do this right…

I decided to pack up my things and make my way home, but not without stopping at Y/N’s first. Parking in her driveway, I get out of my car nervously walking up to the front door knocking softly. Her mother opens the door, surprised to see me.

“Oh my god, Josh… It’s so good to see you sweetie.” She pulled you in for a hug.

“It’s good to see you, is Y/N home?”

She pulled away slowly, nodding her head. “Josh… She’s. She needs you I think more than ever…” You could see the tears forming in her eyes.

Nodding softly, you make way to Y/N’s room. Knocking softly on her door you hear silent sobs. “It’s unlocked…”

You step in quietly finding her lying underneath the covers. “Sunny…”

Hearing her shuffle from under the bed, “Josh?” She sat up fixing her hair, she looked like she had been crying for a while.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You smiled softly as your heart broke looking at her in this state. You slipped your shoes off and slipped under the sheets with her.

She wrapped herself around you tightly, sobbing into your chest. You wrapped your arms around her tightly, running your hand through her hair.

“I’m so scared Josh… I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”

“Hey… Don’t think that way. Everything is going to be fine. He’s going to get through this, he’s a strong man.” You soothed her, kissing the top of her head.

You felt your nerves getting to yourself. It’s now or never Josh…

“Sunny, I have something to tell you…”

She looked up at you, “What’s wrong?”

“So I’m staying home.”

“Oh are you going back after Thanksgiving like me?” She smiled softly, caressing your cheek.

You shook your head slowly, “I actually won’t be returning at all…” You let out under a whisper.

“W-what?” She choked on her words.

“I dropped out, to start focusing on this music thing more with Jake.” There, it was out. You said it.

“Josh I don’t understand… I thought you said film was your dream?” She sat up facing you.

“It is, or was. I don’t know, Jake really thinks we can take off. We’ve been speaking to an agent for some time now…” You held her hands.

She shook her hands away, standing up from the bed. “No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be…” She started sobbing.

Her POV

Josh stood up from your bed. “Sunny…”

“Don’t, sunny me! Josh… You said, you even. You told me you were going to stick with it… Even if you guys went somewhere with this…” You ran a hand through your hair.

“I thought you would be supportive of this!” He was upset now.

“I am, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Josh, this is a lot to handle right now…” You sighed.

“You don’t think I know that? Your mother was crying to me, worried about you. That has me worried sick. I’m not going anywhere, just because I’m not chasing after my original dream doesn’t mean I’m not excited about this new journey.” He grabbed you by the shoulders making you look at him.

“Josh… But what if you leave me? What if you find someone that…” You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“Y/N, I love you. And I’m always going to be here. You’re my sunshine. Forever. I’m not going anywhere.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Promise.” You looked at him scared.

“Promise.” He held your hand up kissing it softly.

“No more secrets. I want to know everything…” You sighed softly.

He nodded in agreement, “I won’t hide anything… I swear.”

You nodded, wrapping yourself in his arms, hugging him tightly as you sobbed in his arms from everything that was going on. You felt alone, but you knew you weren’t. It was hard times right now, and you could only hope that they would get better. Or so you thought…

.

.

.

To be continued

Taglist-

@laneygvf @sacredthefran @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @jordie-gvf-admin @radmads-gvf @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @sinsofstardust @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @gretavanmoon @maren-gvf @itsafullmoon @gretasfallingsky @wagnerbrainrot

[serickswrites]

Lonely Place of Longing III

Master list here (includes summaries and bios as well as chapter links)

Warnings: referenced wounds, referenced blood, referenced chest tube, healing, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Halle spent the next couple of days keeping a close eye on Dylan. While she was still afraid of the weapon, she also couldn’t let the weapon suffer. “You don’t have to keep checking on me, Halle,” Dylan said after the fifth day. “Really, I’ll be ok.”

“I want to make sure there aren’t any complications with your healing. Haven’t your previous keepers checked on you regularly?”

Dylan shook his head. “Most were too afraid to. Or didn’t care. I’m not very popular in case you haven’t noticed.”

Halle peeled back the bandage around where she had placed the chest tube. The skin had completely re-knitted. If Halle didn’t know any better, she would have said that Dylan was healing at an unusual rate. Perhaps she hadn’t cut as big as she had thought.

“I don’t know why,” Dylan went on, “I have read every book in our library, Bravo’s library, Delta’s library, and Hotel’s library, so I can always recommend a good book no matter what type of book you like. And I’ve also traveled all over the globe, so I have good travel tips. Not that I’ve done any sight seeing, mind you. And well, I’m a social pariah just because of what I am. That’s probably why I’m not very popular.”

Halle straightened and nodded towards the pile of books on Dylan’s end table. “It’s your terrible taste in books that makes you not popular, Dylan. Really, this book pile reads like every high schooler’s nightmare. You’ve been tortured. Very recently. Why mentally torture yourself now?”

Dylan gave a wry smile. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

A knock on the door had Halle jumping. Dylan tensed next to her. The door swung open before Dylan could even reply. Thomas marched in. “How’s the patient?” Thomas asked Halle.

“Healing well. Still needs time to heal, though.”

“I should be ready for whatever you’ve put on hold in four days,” Dylan said, staring directly at Thomas. “My open wound closed yesterday. I can walk. I should be ready to go by then, completely healed.”

Halle opened her mouth to protest. Dylan clearly had a death wish if he wanted to get back out so soon. “That is great news to hear. The Authority has been wondering how long you would be out of commission.”

“You can let them know I’ll be ready in four days. Five days tops.” Dylan shook his curls out of his face, and Halle could have sworn what bruising had remained was already beginning to fade. Surely it was just the way the sunlight was hitting his face now.

Halle opened her mouth again, but Thomas turned to her. “Halle, can I see you in my office, please?”

“Absolutely, Thomas. I’ll check on you again, tomorrow, Dylan.” Halle said as she turned to follow Thomas out the door.

“No need, Halle. You heard Dylan. He’s almost completely healed. All due to your ministrations, of course.” Dylan avoided making eye contact with Halle as he spoke. “Halle is a most dedicated healer, Thomas. I am very grateful to be under her care.”

“Come along, Halle. I do need to meet with the Authority to brief them on Dylan’s updated status.”

Halle half jogged along to keep up with Thomas. “What is it you wanted to discuss with me, Thomas? If I may be so bold, I really do think that Dylan won’t be healed in four days. That’s unheard of to be up and about that quickly. I really do think he needs at least another two weeks. I could assess—“

“That won’t be necessary, Halle. I think Dylan knows himself and what he is capable of quite well. No need to concern yourself with his current recovery.

“What I wanted to talk to you about is how you are settling in. How are things for you, Halle? You’ve been here a little over two weeks now and you’re certainly earning your keep. And for that, I am very grateful.”

Halle didn’t like that Thomas didn’t want her to re-assess Dylan’s injuries. She didn’t like that Dylan was so ready to throw himself out of the frying pan and into the fire. But she couldn’t control these things. And Dylan had clearly survived much worse and was still going on missions. “I’ve been adjusting. It’s certainly a different life than I am used to. But I am glad to do it.”

“Yeah, I can imagine your days when not healing Dylan could be dreadfully dull.”

“Not at all!” Halle said hurriedly. She couldn’t get fired. Not yet. “I help in the kitchen. And with the library. Really, it’s great.”

Thomas chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing you. We’re glad to have you, Halle. And we’re glad you’ve chosen to stay.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” Halle’s watch pinged. She was due in the gym to meet her new sparring instructor. While she didn’t think it was likely, Halle wanted to be ready to go into the field at a moment’s notice. A battlefield medic of sorts. It would help her keep better tabs on Dylan. “Apologies, Thomas, I have an appointment.”

“With the sparring instructor, I’m aware. Listen, Halle, I’m glad you are interested in potential field work, but,” Thomas held up a hand to silence Halle’s protests, “I am going to advise you to be very careful of what you are wanting. And to be very careful around Dylan.”

Halle froze. What did Thomas know about what she had been doing?

“Dylan is a living weapon. He is one of the most dangerous, if not most the dangerous, beings alive. He could kill you without a second thought, Halle. You need to be very careful. And under absolutely no circumstances should you ever let him out of his quarters or remove his cuffs, Halle. To do that would mean certain death for you.”

Halle swallowed. Dylan was a living weapon. He had powers Halle could only dream of. And he lived in a room with barred windows and doors. Thomas was right, she needed to be careful.

“Thank you, Thomas. I’ll keep that in mind."

Tags: @beomsstudio @mousepaw @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @eyehartart @corbytheking

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[apteryxparvus]

L ♡ V E R ⇌ L ⦻ S E R — chapter 6

Chapter six — My mama always told me if i don’t have anything nice to say…

Pairing — Scaramouche / Female Reader

Content warning — swearing • mentions of bullying

Summary: In a twist of unfortunate events, you find out that being exposed as the target of Kunikuzushi middle school bullying escapades was just the beginning of your troubles. To your dismay, you’re thrown even deeper into the glamorous but artificial world of celebrities. Oh, and the cherry on top? You’re forced to pretend to be in a long-term romantic relationship with none other than said ex-bully. All because of a careless misclick by his social media manager.

prev • masterlist • next

You can’t bring yourself to respond to his message, leaving him on “seen” for several hours. The weight of everything settles heavily on your conscience, and you lie on your bed, a throbbing headache serving as a painful reminder.

Kaveh finds himself in a similar state, confined to his own room. He slips out of his room once to grab some snacks.

Your phone pings with a new message, and you peel yourself away from the warmth of your blanket, heart skipping a beat as your fingers unlock the screen.

Despite the anger that courses through your veins, you can’t deny the exhaustion that washes over you. You snuggle under the warm blanket, as you seek comfort in its weight — it embraces you like a shield against the outside world.

Tomorrow, you’ll contact his manager and sort out this whole mess. But for now, you just want to unwind and let go of the stress that’s been building up.

Just as you close your eyes, hoping that the sleep would wash away the tension engulfing your being due to his prickly words and acidic taunts, your mind suddenly jolts back to reality.

“Shit,” you exclaimed, practically leaping out of bed. “The goddamn dating rumors! I forgot to ask!”

Author’s note: welp, a bit of a late update, but life got in the way AGAIN 😅 also sorry for the short chapter 🙏🙏

Taglist — @scaramoo @bananasquash @yukiipc @theblueblub @feiherp @scarletttcroww @farelady-fate @skyoverkill1 @reversearrowhead @magica-ren @sakurapeach @lazy-sanns @siasseltzers @gatorcatally @atlaincorrect

[itzymaeee]

𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝔀𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰

Summary: after the being teleported in Pandora it only took you few weeks to adapt at your surrounding, but one day the Na'vi who found you invited for you to come at the island for to enjoy the scenery but seeing everything what happend and the incident of his brother getting left behind beyond the reef.

𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

Pairings: platonic! Avatar x umbra with!human!reader

Tw: flashback,bullying and fighting,cursing, attempt murderer and long ass description

Authors note: hey sorry for not updating quickly I was stabbed by my cousin but anyways here's the story and also if you saw some errors and wrong grammar it

It's been a few weeks now after your arrival in Pandora due to your magic malfunction that cost you to be teleported far away from earth. So far you are taking it too well adapting to your surroundings for someone who got teleported and appeared in a foreign planet, So yes your doing good except for a certain blue cat-man who constantly likes to disturb you everytime he visit.

Neteyam never fails to visit you everyday after him and his siblings being taught the reef na'vi of their ways by the son and daughter of the clan Chief. Everytime he visit you he always teach you some info about Pandora and it's culture and their deity Eywa, He also teached you of their laungage according to him so you won't get killed due to miscommunication if ever a na'vi found you (little does he knows you can understand him perfectly due to your magic) let's just say it has a trial and errors.

Learning from neteyam is either learn quickly or be hitted of course you will hit him back harder.

"Na'ri"

"Ngari?"

"NA'RI!!"

"NA'WII??" A sigh of irratition and sound of being hitted was heard but of course a few second there was a another sound but being smacked harder and a hiss and whine from him. But one time he brought you some food to share it with you that was prepared by his mother for him and siblings to eat after their class. Since he was worried you might be starving since he never got a time to visit you, Touched by his thoughtfulness and kind gesture even though you can survive without a meal due to your training you accepted the food and eat it.

Sadly you will regret it later.

"Y/n are you alright? Is the food not up to your liking?

"....."

"Wait, why is your face turning whit-"

"BY THE GREAT MOTHER Y/N!!" Let's just say both of you agreed that you won't consume any Pandora livestock since you almost died due to food poisoning.

There was a day Neteyam will straight up complaining about his dad,his siblings especially the brother and the chief son who constantly harassing them to you while you where either busy meditating or waving something so you are stuck listening to him complaining to the point you already knew what he will to complain the next time he visit.

"Ugh I swear if he don't shut up and say another snide remarks around me and my siblings for being freaks and having a demon blood I would punch him"

"Then why wouldn't you do it? So he will stop harassing you guys?"

"What no dad would get angry at me for fighting the olektyan son and also his going to scold me"

"Bah! Fuck about your dad opinion because if I were you I would have beat his ass before I he can utter some insult at me and my sibling"

"Tempting sadly I could do nothing I can only threaten them with words"

So today was peaceful since neteyam was teaching you to wave some bracelet with the shells and pearl he found during their breathing exercises. He was teaching you how to twist,insert and knot so the seaweed it won't tear up while waving it, as you were to busy at the task at your hand you noticed that neteyam stopped waving and a look of thinking was present at his face.

"Hey y/n I was thinking how about you visit the island tomorrow?" He said at you, while you stopped what you were doing and looked at him dead in the eyes "Neteyam have you forgotten that your people hates humans? Do you want be dead the moment I step on the island?" I said to him deadpan during my stay here in the Pandora I have come to understand why the Na'vi hates the human so much, the human took everything greedily without care the surrounding to this world heck they have the nerve to act like the victim when the locals in this land fought back they are just like their ancestors disgusting.

He shook his head at what you said and looked at you determinely "I know but I was thinking far away to the village so the people won't see you, since you have been stayed cooped up in the cave this past few weeks I was thinking a changed of scenery?" He said you looked at neteyam softly for his concern at you, technically you could careless where you at but this past few weeks neteyam was making an effort at you always visiting and teaching you to the point you notice his always tired.

You sighed and nodded at neteyam he smiled brightly at you while you just rolled your eyes and smiled back at him "Good I will come back here to fetch you and I will bring you to the island tomorrow" you nodded at him. After hours of waving with neteyam he have decided to go back since his parents will notice that he was gone and was not at island, the two of you said your farewells while watching him return to the island you might have forgotten to tell him you already have visited the island where he and his family was staying up at your crow form but you just shrugged that thought.

Morning came and you decided to surprise him there. As you were standing outside the cave you were staying at you transformed into your crow form and flow up at the sky and headed at the island where neteyam was. As you were flying the scenery never fails to take your breath away the Pandora is truly beautiful throught it's blue aquatic clear seas you can see different marine life and it's corals and it's gigantic mangrove tree that serves as the village of the people in the island.

As you were nearing you saw some group of kids circling a girl at the beach looking at closely it's neteyam sister Kiri. As you put a spell on yourself to not be seen and you landed at the bushes as you watched neteyam brother lo'ak came to interfer to stop the chief son and his friends to making fun of Kiri. Let's just say you were highly entertained at what's happening and chanting for lo'ak to beat their asses but the chief son and his friends continues harassing them despite Kiri yelling to stop and lo'ak stopping their hands from pulling his tails at their grasp. And an angry neteyam came.

He pushed everyone away from his brother "you heard what she said leave them alone". While looking at the fish boy coldly. Fish boy friend was gonna say something stupid but he put his hands to stop while looking at neteyam stoicly "Back off. Now" Neteyam said seriously at fish boy as he put both hands into surrender position signaling he will back off as neteyam looked at everyone "from now on I want you all to respect my sister" he said to each on of them with authority that he won't hesitate to beat anyone who will continue harassing his siblings. One of fish boy friends hisses at him angry at what neteyam said to them while kiri sticked her tongue out teasing them while neteyam called his brother and sister to leave.

But sadly it escalated when lo'ak decided to punch fish boy and his friends jumped at lo'ak. You were just laughing while everyone was fighting seeing lo'ak getting his tail pulled and being slapped of fish boy friends tail and you noticed neteyam jumped in at the fight to help his brother while kiri was telling them to stop it "This is stupid" Kiri said while rolling her eyes but smiled while watching the fight. But sadly boys are boys they continued fighting,the fight was 2 vs 4 but you laughed harder watching lo'ak getting pulled by his tails but pulling the other boy ears while yelling at pain both you and Kiri just laughed at this stupid fight. But sadly the fight ended when a local who noticed the fight and fetched both the chief and neteyam dad.

As you were waiting for neteyam to come out of his home after he and his brother got scolded by their father and told his brother to apologies his brother immediately left angrly while neteyam followed after. As neteyam was walking a little far away from the village and heading straight where his ilu was to so he can fetch you, you have decided to reveal your presence to neteyam.

"Psst! Neteyam!" You called him he immediately looked at his right and saw you standing there hiding at the bushes. Neteyam was shocked seeing you here while you smiling at him teasingly. "Y/n? Wait how did you came here?" He asked clueless "wait a second did you just arrived here just now? How did you got here without a ilu?" As he walked were you at. "Well let's just say I saw everything" you cheekly said at him while neteyam just looked at you confused.

"What do you mean you saw everything?" He asked while you just smiled at him waiting for him to realized what at you said. And his face turned a dark shade of purple as he realized you saw the whole fight as you just laughed at him seeing him flustered. "you know you should have pulled their hair it will times hurt more" you said to neteyam as he just groned "can we just please not talk about what happened earlier?" He pleaded as you laughed harder.

It took an hour for neteyam to make you stop teasing him while the two of you were walking side by side at beach a little far away from the village but still close. The two of you were at the shore picking up some seashells and colorful stone for you to add to the bracelet you were waving and for his sister's to use. "Oh neteyam look at this sheshell I found" you said at him happily as neteyam come next to you and holds your hands as he inspect the sheshell you found.

"Wow I never saw a sheshell like this before not even the shells tuk and Kiri carried" he said as he inspected the shell that resemblance like a pearl. "How about you give this to your sister's especially to Kiri" you said to neteyam softly he removed his attention at the shell as he looked at you while you just smiled as you hold his hand give it at him. "It might cheer her up after what happend" as neteyam was going to refuse but both of you froze as you heard a person coming near at you while calling neteyam name.

Panicking neteyam pushed you at his back not noticing you changed into your crow form. As the person calling neteyam came closer, it was just tuk running at neteyam to show him the shells she found while looking at the beach "neteyam! Look at what I found" as tuk happily run at him while showing the shell she found. "Oh wow tuk this is pretty" he said at her.

But tuk stopped and noticed something at his brother back while looking at closely what it was. Noticing this neteyam panickly showed the shell you found for distraction."tuktuk look at what I found for you and Kiri to have" as he showed the pearl shell. And it worked as tuk immediately looked at the shell wow'ed. "Teyam where did you found this? This is so pretty oh I can't wait to show this to Kiri and to mama" as tuk happily holds the shell.

But before neteyam can reply a squak of sound was heard behind him and both tuk and him jumped at the strange sound as he turned around he was meet into a strange feathered creature. Realized that the strange creature was you as tuk hided at neteyam back while looking scared at you. "Neteyam what is that?" Tuk quietly said as you tilted your head and swim closer at tuk, as tuk was holding his brother as a shield neteyam holded gently tuk arm to reassure her doesn't mean harm when you got closer at tuk you affectionately peck tuk cheeks and caressing your head at tuk arm lovely.

A few caressing and a soft squak came from you make tuk comfortable. she started petting you softly feeling the soft feathers you have she smiled while looked at neteyam. "Teyam look at this creature it has a soft feather" as she continued to pet and neteyam also started petting you enjoying the soft feathers. Let's just say it turned into a petting season and it only stopped when Neteyam noticed it's almost eclipse and told tuk to go home and that you need to go since it's almost nigh time, but tuk resisting that she wants to you bring back at the village but neteyam told her no since you need to go home so tuk petted you last time and bid you farewell.

"Damn we almost got caught there" you said as you returned back beside neteyam. "So when will you gonna tell me you can turn into a creature?" He said at you while you scoffed "What do you mean creature for your information it's a crow, what you never saw a bird that has a feather?" You sass at him while he just looked at you deadpan. You just sighed as you walk off from the water and headed straight to near the village while neteyam hurriedly followed you.

Neteyam constantly pester you about how did you turned into your crow form meanwhile you turn deaf to any words he asked as the two of you continue walking both of heard a group of boys laughing. And looking at where it was you saw it was the chief son and his friends laughing something as they dismount in their ilu. Neteyam grasped your hands and quietly and walked away from the group so the both of you won't be noticed by them. But stopped when both of you heard what they were laughing about.

"Can't believe he thought we were going hunting" said on of fish boy friends as he laughed "yeah right and it only takes for him to agree to got outside of the reef is to meantion his older brother" as the group walked while still laughing as fish boy has a smirk at his face "I think he can find his way back after all his toruk makto son?". Hearing who it was you felt neteyam tighten his hold at your hands as you looked at him worriedly at him and to lo'ak.

Letting go of your hand he angryly walked at the direction where the group who was still laughing. As you quietly headed at the bushes to hide you watched neteyam pushed the others and holding the shoulders to to face him. The scene was scary seeing neteyam beared his fangs and hissed at fish boy friends run away and he who looked scared after threatining fish boy to tell him everything when he told what happend neteyam looked at him deadly as he grasped fish boy neck hard as both of them walked at the village to his house.

You who was still hiding at bushes while watching some volunteer go on search party to find lo'ak as you continue to watch you saw neteyam and heading along with his father but stopped as he looked at you and quietly headed at you. But stopped as you looked at him with no "it's okay I can go home your brother is important go find him" you mouthed at him and tilted your head to go follow his father. Looking complicated but nodded as he turn and walked where his father at.

Waiting for a min to check if the coast clear as you transformed back into your crow form and flies at the sky. While flying you saw the lights on the sea and looking closely they found his brother and now heading straight back at the village. You sigh a relief that he was found and nothing worse happen continuing to head where your cave at as you nearing it you transformed back and walked inside as you laid down the shell you found with neteyam at the beach near the woven mat as you laid down exhausted at today's event.

Taglist:

@bitch-i-lovee-you

@mandokarla-mavrok

@anxiety-queer

@yu-rylee

@phantomalex14

@blackgaladriel

@spqce-bun

[snelbz]

Better Or Worse {Chapter One}

Nessian. Angst. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Better or Worse Masterlist

A/N: We are so excited to share this one with you guys! As you know, angst is sort of our specialty and while this one will be pretty heavy, we’ve tried to sprinkle a good amount of fluff as well. We hope you love it and always, please let us what you think!

Chapter Warning: Language.

Nesta -

“I'm going to bed.”

My fingers come to a pause on my keyboard. I glance up and find Cassian leaning against the door frame of my office.

The clock in the corner of the computer screen tells me it’s 10:46. I know he’s not telling me to try and entice me to join him. No, he’d given up on that weeks ago.

My fingers go back to flying over the plastic keys, clicking as I try to pick back up the stream of consciousness I was working on when Cassian interrupted. “I want to get this draft finalized tonight. I only have a few chapters left. The publishing company will have my ass if it isn’t submitted before tomorrow afternoon.”

Excuse.

That’s all I’m full of anymore. Excuses.

Excuses as to why I’m always at my office downtown late or don’t ever want to go to dinner. Why I’m distant or never try to touch him.

“Can you at least try to make it home by six tomorrow night? Please?”

My gaze leaves the screen and lands on him again. “I’ll try. You know I’ve got deadlines I have to hit.”

He’s as handsome as always, even more so with the shadow of stubble across his jaw. He must not have shaved this morning, if the dusting of hair was any indicator. That wasn’t like him. Shaving was a part of his daily routine, quickly followed by his morning shower. My husband may be brash and blunt, but he’s a man who has and loves his routines.

Routines that often feel like they are smothering me, stifling any spark of spontaneity in my soul.

His arms are crossed over his muscular chest, his tattoos just barely peeking out over the neckline of his t-shirt. I know those tattoos intimately, can trace them with my eyes closed.

It’s been far too long since I’ve done that.

His voice pulls me from my thoughts of the ink adorning his skin. “I’ll cook. Get a bottle of your favorite wine. We don’t have to go anywhere.”

He sounds like he’s negotiating a hostage situation, not asking me to dinner. I hate it.

I stop typing, trying my best not to show my annoyance. “I don’t know. I’ll have to see.”

Cassian's reaction does not reflect any sort of satisfaction. “Come on, Nesta. We haven’t had a date night in months. I will literally bring date night to you—”

“I said I’ll have to see.” The moment the words come out of my mouth, I feel guilty. My tone is embarrassing, but I can’t control it, the snap. 

Cassian's mouth shuts and his jaw locks. “Fine.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

A beat passes between us before I start typing again. I can feel Cassian’s eyes blazing into the back of my head for a minute, then he’s turning around. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” I say, trying to sound as genuine as possible, but mostly I just sound stressed.

Which I am.

So damn stressed. 

I hear him walk down the hall and close our bedroom door. I stop typing yet again, my eyes shutting as I rub my temples. 

At least I’m honest. I could tell Cassian that I’d be home by dinner tomorrow, but then I would be late and he would just be disappointed and get pissed. It’s better to let him down up front rather than too late.

Being a best selling author isn’t all I was expecting it to be. Sure, seeing my book on shelves next to some of my all time favorites is awesome, but it’s daunting. My first book was self published, coming to life out of my own blood, sweat, and tears. So once it took off and I started working with a publishing company, I thought I’d made it. Things were going to get easier. All I had to do was get my words down onto paper and they’d do the rest.

Wrong.

Someone is always demanding something. Whether that’s a finalized draft, an update on an outline, or approval for cover artwork, I never have a moment to breathe.

As if the universe is laughing at me, a new text chimes on my phone, lying face down on my desk. I recognize the sound, immediately knowing it’s my agent, Eris.

I sigh, telling myself to ignore the notification. I’m already editing hours after I should be, but my eyes keep bouncing up to my phone. After reading the same sentence four times, not comprehending a single word, I snatch my phone up.

Got a phone call from the Velaris Times. They have an opening for an interview tomorrow afternoon.

An opportunity I can’t pass up.

Sounds like a plan. My office or theirs?

If I thought I would be able to focus back on my edits, I was wrong. Eris is typing back as soon as my text is received.

Over dinner, actually. Viviane Whittaker will meet you at Rita’s at 5:30.

My thumbs hover over the screen.

Can you at least try to make it home by six tomorrow night? Please?

Swallowing, I type out my reply.

I’ll be there fifteen minutes early.

I should go tell Cassian that there will be no date night tomorrow, but I think better of it. I’m already so tired and that is not a fight that I want to start so late at night. I’ll just text him about tomorrow.

I look back up at my screen and try to reset my mind, call back my concentration. Just as I begin reading, a jingling bell comes closer and a ball of fluff settles on my feet.

I look down at the chubby black cat and reach down to scratch him between the ears. “Hi, Greg.”

Greg shoots me a look full of judgment. 

“Don’t try to guilt me,” I say, straightening back up in my chair. “I already feel guilty enough.”

With a huff, Greg lays his head against the carpet and closes his eyes. I’m officially the only one in the house not fast asleep.

Cassian -

I haven’t gotten mind-numbingly drunk since college, but all I want to do once I get out of work is drink to forget. I’ve never been good at handling my anger, and I was already on edge, so when Nesta texted me saying that she had dinner plans and would be home late, I was automatically seeing red.

I just want one night with my wife but I should have known that was too much to ask for. It usually is. 

Already finding Rhys’ number in my phone, I hop in my truck and start the engine as he answers.

“We’re going out tonight. Drinks are on me,” I say, before he can even say hello. 

“It’s a Thursday,” he replies with a laugh, but I know he’d be there regardless. Out of all of us, Rhys was the one who had ended up with a real “big boy” job. He’s one of the most respected lawyers in Velaris, and having his own practice, he basically gets to make his own hours if he isn’t in court.

“Glad you can read a calendar.” I sound like a dick but I can’t bring myself to care. “I’ll be at Windhaven in fifteen.”

“Should I call Az or is he already on the way?”

“I texted him first. Didn’t want him to leave work and have to turn around.”

Azriel works in a tattoo parlor two blocks down from our favorite spot, but lives outside of town. With Elain being pregnant, there’s only so much time we get with our brother.

I look over at the empty spot in the garage next to mine and sigh.

A hole in my chest that has been progressively growing larger aches. I’ve always been proud of Nesta. She’s always wanted to be an author since the day I met her, and she’s living her dream. And she’s really damn good at it. She has a way with words that I could never understand, that I couldn’t even come close to matching. She was meant to be a writer.

But ever since she’s found success, I’ve come in second.

It’s not that I always have to be her first priority. I want her to live for more than me, but it would be nice to be a priority sometimes. It would be nice for her to put our marriage first, to make time for me, for us. I barely even see her, and when I do, her eyes are glued to her laptop screen. She didn’t come to bed until four, then was up again at seven, barely uttering a word to me before she left for her office. 

“Cass?”

I haven’t even realized that Rhys has been talking to me. “Sorry.”

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” he says, and his tone has softened, fully aware of where my mind has gone. “Get a booth.” 

“Alright.” I hang up, reading Azriel’s text on my screen once I pull the phone away from my ear.

Perfect. Had to tattoo a flower on an 80 year old woman’s ass today. I need a drink. 

Despite my current mood, I chuckle and pull out of the driveway. Keeping the radio off, I drive, wondering if I should send Nesta a good luck text. In all reality, she probably won’t reply, so I toss my phone in the passenger seat and let it be. 

If Nesta wants to talk to me, wants to spend time with me, she would be home for dinner for once. I know I’m being petty, but after a while, being neglected by the woman you married becomes exhausting. 

And I’m so damn tired. I need booze and bad food and my brothers. I’m man enough to admit when I need to get something off my chest, but not enough to do it sober.

Rhys’s instructions to get a booth were unnecessary. Azriel unsurprisingly beat me here and is sitting in our normal booth, the one with a direct line of sight to the bartender. A pitcher of beer sits in the middle of the table as well as three glasses. I appreciate my brother’s propensity to think ahead, but I need something harder than beer tonight.

Nodding to Az, I make a beeline to the bar. Breathing a sigh of relief, I see Ace is the one behind the bar tonight, not Devlon. The old man owns the bar and has never been a fan of me, Rhys or Az.

“You look like you need a free drink,” Ace says, as I make it to the bar and lean against the cool wooden top. 

“I always need a free drink.” The words sound pitiful coming out of my mouth. Ace just winks and pours me a glass of whiskey without even having to ask me what I want. “Thanks.”

“Always,” she says, patting my hand before I turn to walk to the booth. I’ll see her again shortly. I don’t expect the glass of whiskey to last too long before I need another. 

Azriel watches me approach, his glass already halfway gone. I nod to it as I sit across from him. “Has the image of elderly ass been erased from your mind yet?”

“No,” Azriel says, taking another drink. “But the memory looks better and better with every drink.”

I huff a laugh as I sip from my glass of whiskey, enjoying the burn as it slides down my throat and I pour a glass from the pitcher in the middle of the table. 

Rhysand appears beside me and slides onto the bench. I hadn’t even realized that he’d walked in, but in my defense, I’m hardly present. 

After pleasant hellos and Rhysand pouring his own glass, he asks, “So, is this when you tell us the reason you want to get plastered on a Thursday?” 

Swirling my glass, I watch as the whiskey moves through the ice cubes, the color diluting as they melt slowly. Bringing my drink to my lips, I drink deeply and set the glass down, staring at the table top.

“My marriage is falling apart.”

Neither of them speak.

Neither of them do anything.

I wasn’t expecting them to fall over themselves to comfort me, but I was at least expecting a back pat or an I’m sorry, man. Glancing up from the table, they both just stare at me.

The look in their eyes tells me they knew. Everyone knows. We haven’t been ourselves in months. I can’t think of the last time we were both at a family dinner.

“I don’t know what to do,” I go on, when neither of them say a word. “I’ve been trying…but every time I try, no matter what I try, I feel like I’m pushing her further away.” I take a drink. “I’m exhausted.”

I down what’s in my glass and motion for Ace to make me another. 

“I tried to give her a date night tonight,” I go on, working on my beer that’s quickly disappearing. My brothers simply watch me as I babble. “We haven’t had a date night in months. She never seems interested, so I stopped asking. Last night, I asked, for the first time in a long damn time.” I gesture around the table. “As you can see, I’m not with my wife.” 

“Where is she?” Azriel asks, when it’s clear I’d paused my rambling, at last. 

Another glass of whiskey is set in front of me. I give Ace a grateful look before shrugging. “With some reporter. Not sure where. They’re out to dinner and will probably be there until some ridiculous hour.” 

Azriel looks away from me, his eyes locking with Rhys and then I feel both of their gazes on me. I turn to Rhys, who is usually the one who takes the lead in awkward situations. Tonight is apparently no different.

“She won’t have dinner with you, but she’ll meet some skeezy reporter for dinner?” He asks, an eyebrow raised.

Shrugging my shoulders, I start on my second drink. “So it seems.”

He folds his arms atop the table and leans towards me. “And you didn’t ask where they were going? Or when she would be home?”

“I stopped asking what time she’d be home months ago.” My voice sounds hollow, empty. I wonder how long it’s sounded like that. “And begging for answers seemed pathetic.”

They make eye contact again and Azriel clears his throat. “You don’t…think she’s having an affair, do you?”

“Absolutely not.”

He sighs. “Cass—”

“She isn’t sleeping with anyone else.”

“Cass,” Rhys begins, his tone as placating as possible, slipping into the voice of the man who can convince anyone of anything. It’s what makes him such a good defense lawyer. It makes me want to break something. Makes me feel weak. “We know you love Nesta and that she loves you.”

“She wouldn’t cheat on me,” I snap, and I mean it. We might not be on great terms right now, but Nesta is loyal to those she loves.

And despite the distance between us, I have to believe she still loves me.

“Sorry,” I say, trying to calm myself down once the silence between us stretches on for too long. The air is thick. They know they had struck a chord and are surely deciding if they want to keep the conversation going. “I just…don’t think that’s the case.”

“If she’s not cheating, then what’s the issue?” Azriel asks, tentatively. “Her work?”

“Yeah, she’s busy,” I say, staring at my empty glass. “But…I don’t know. Honestly, I have no fucking clue how we got here. We barely talk. Most nights, she doesn’t even come to bed. I can’t even tell you the last time we had sex.” That was a lie. I remember it, and it was way too long ago for me to admit. “Every time we do talk, it ends in a fight. I’m just…at the end of my rope. I don’t know what to do.”

The table is quiet for another minute before Rhys asks, “Are you saying that you want to leave her?”

It’s not that the thought has never crossed my mind. Lately, I think about it often, filing for divorce, giving up, but hearing the words out loud make me feel sick to my stomach.

I don’t answer.

I wave to Ace for another whiskey.

The table is silent until she brings the drink and returns to the bar.

“I don’t see what other options I have.” My words are whispered, as if I can’t hear them, they aren't coming out. My words are starting to slur a bit, a good sign I should probably slow down.

I ignore that sign and take a drink.

“You two fought like cats and dogs when you first met,” Rhys reminds me, as if I could somehow forget. “What’s different now?”

“Those weren’t fights, that was sexual tension,” I admit, shaking my head. “Gotta have sex for there to be sexual tension.”

Azriel refills his beer. “She hasn’t said anything to Elain, as far as I know.”

“Or Feyre,” Rhys adds.

“You both know Nesta,” I start, looking between the two of them. “She doesn’t talk about her feelings with anyone, much less me or her sisters.”

They both frown, watching me with concern, seemingly at a loss for words. 

“Do you still love her?” Azriel asks.

“Of course I do,” I say, my anger fading as the alcohol calms me, consumes me. “But just because I love her doesn’t mean that it’s working anymore.”

“Don’t make any rash decisions,” Rhys says, calmly, refilling my beer for me before motioning to Ace for another pitcher. Seems I’m done with whiskey for the night. “I know you, don’t act out of anger. You have to tell Nesta how frustrated you are. You have to communicate.”

I know he’s right, know that communication has become a weakness in our marriage. I don’t  want to communicate, I don’t want to work for it, I just want my marriage to right itself, to return to the way it used to be.

And I want to fucking drink.

So that’s what I do, alongside my brothers, until I’m not thinking about my crumbling marriage at all.

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 12

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Sinker, Comet, Boost, Warthog

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note: Phew! That was a whole lot of work, but everything has been converted from reader to oc, and every chapter has been updated to third-person past tense writing 😮‍💨 Nothing in the plot has changed, but I did update some wording and filled in a few gaps I found while I was going through the story. Y'all, the next chapter is the funeral. Enjoy this last bit of, uh... not as sad moment(?), then brace yourselves! As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @beating-a-dead-plot

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Wolffe watched from his seat at the desk chair as Cara, Comet, Boost, and Warthog continued to unpack her things and arrange the room. He had Warthog stuff his armor in the wardrobe while she wasn't looking to try and keep the mood up. She was going to have enough to be sad about when they went to the funeral soon. Too soon. He didn't even know if he was ready for it, let alone Cara. He'd already had a conversation with the Wolfpack about it, and they'd be ready to step in when he needed them.

"Commander," Sinker called from the doorway. "Can I talk to you?"

Wolffe sighed and got up from the desk chair to join Sinker out in the hallway. He left the door open so Cara wouldn't fret about his absence, but he'd keep his voice hushed so she didn't overhear their conversation. If he was lucky, she wouldn't notice that he'd stepped out of the room. Sadly, with the look on Sinker's face, Wolffe knew that whatever happened in that briefing couldn't be good, at least not in terms of their remaining time left on Coruscant, and he braced for it.

"How was the briefing?" Wolffe asked.

"We're deploying," Sinker sighed. "I'm sorry, Wolffe."

Wolffe cursed under his breath.

"According to the intel," Sinker continued, "Captain Rex and General Kenobi were taken captive by Zygerrian slavers while trying to infiltrate their operation to free some imprisoned Togrutas."

"You're kidding," Wolffe said.

"Afraid not," Sinker said. "We're being sent to Kadavo as reinforcements for the liberation."

Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose. "When are we leaving?"

"Two rotations," Sinker answered. "It would've been immediate, but General Skywalker and Commander Tano are already on the ground, so it bought us some time to regroup. As is, it's going to take twelve standard rotations just to get to the Kadavo system from Coruscant."

Wolffe breathed a small sigh of relief. It wasn't a lot of time, but it was enough for him to get his affairs in order. He looked over at Cara and watched as she played a game with Comet and Boost. She will be devastated when he has to put his armor back on and leave. With no mother, no father, and no Wolfpack, she was going to be completely alone. It'd take at least one standard month to get to the Kadavo system and back, and that didn't even take into consideration the length of the actual mission. Liberations could last for months.

"May I be excused?" Sinker asked after Wolffe didn't respond. "I promised the general that I'd help with the… preparations."

Wolffe paused. He knew what the implications of that word meant and while he was grateful that his second in command had his hands on his wife's funeral, it was still a stab to the heart.

"Yes, of course," Wolffe stammered. "Dismissed."

Sinker left and Wolffe walked back into the room, grabbed his comm, sat down at the desk, and typed a message to Fox. We need to talk. It's important.

It took a while, but Fox eventually answered back. I'll be at the funeral.

Wolffe quickly sent another message. No, not there. Tomorrow morning. The diner.

Fox replied back after a couple of minutes. Meet me there at 0600.

Wolffe put his comm back down and anxiously tapped his foot against the floor. It was a long shot, but he needed someone to look after Cara while he and the Wolfpack were gone. Even if Fox couldn't do it, he probably had a couple of trusted brothers in the Coruscant Guard who could. It was better than the alternative of some random Jedi caretaker brainwashing his child while he was off fighting the War. He wanted to be able to trust the Jedi, he did, but he always found a small seed of doubt when he tried.

"Cara," Wolffe called. She ran over to him. "I'm going out tomorrow morning."

"You're leaving?" Cara asked, her voice full of uncertainty.

"No, baby," Wolffe soothed. "I'm just gonna see Fox for a bit."

"Can I come?" she asked.

"No," Wolffe said.

"Please?" she pleaded.

"You don't even like Fox," Wolffe argued.

Cara pouted.

"Comet will be here to watch you," Wolffe said a little louder. He looked up at Comet and received a smile and a nod of acknowledgement. "You can explore the Temple together."

Cara continued to pout.

Wolffe decided to change his tactics. There was something in the Temple that could get her excited, even if only a little bit. "You know," he began. "I heard they have a tree somewhere."

Cara perked up. "A tree?"

"Mhm," Wolffe said. "A real one." It was something Wolffe and his wife planned on doing after the War; moving to a planet full of different flora and fauna for Cara to see. His wife kept images all around their apartment of different trees and plants from around the galaxy, since Cara had never been off-world yet.

Cara gasped with wide eyes. "Can I go see it?"

"Sure," Wolffe shrugged. "But only if you stay with Comet."

Cara thought about the proposal for a moment. "I'll stay with Comet."

"That's my good girl," Wolffe praised. "You can go play now."

Cara ran back to Comet and Boost, but then turned on her heels and ran back to Wolffe.

"Daddy," she said. "I have to go potty."

Wolffe blinked a few times in surprise. He was so used to Cara using the refresher by herself at home, that it didn't even dawn on him that she might need help here. He really wasn't made for parenting, but he was going to do his best to help her. The last thing he needed right now was for her to have an accident, and right before the funeral too. He glanced at the chronometer to make sure they still had time, then took her hand and guided her through the halls to find a refresher.

There should be a one somewhere on that floor, but he didn't remember seeing it on their way in. Then again, he did zone out for a bit near the end. After walking a little further, he saw a sign, but it was for a male species refresher. He looked around and saw another sign for a female species refresher, but he wasn't sure which one he should take her in. His wife would've just taken her into the female species refresher and took care of everything. Maker he wished she was here.

Since he was a male species, did he need to bring her into that one? If he did take her there, he risked her seeing things she shouldn't be seeing. However, if he took her into the female species refresher, was he going to get arrested? He noticed Cara starting to wiggle and he knew he needed to make a decision quickly. Ultimately, Wolffe took her into the female species refresher for her own comfort and protection. If he got arrested, Fox could always bail him out.

"Do you need help?" Wolffe awkwardly asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

"No!" Cara said adamantly and slammed the stall door behind her. "Mommy said I'm a big girl and big girls use the refresher alone."

Wolffe was shocked, but rolled with it. "Oh, okay. I'll, uh, I'll wait out here then."

Wolffe wasn't sure what to do with himself while he waited. He missed out on the potty training phase when Cara was two years old, and this was always his wife's territory, just like bath time. Which was something else that slipped his mind. He had no idea where the bath was, if the Temple even had a bath, or who was going to help her bathe in the morning. His wife was adamant that someone had to watch her in the bath. Maker strike him dead if she drowned when he wasn't around.

Within a few minutes, the stall door swung open and Cara came walking out. Wolffe opened his mouth to remind her about washing her hands, but before he got the chance, she was already at the sink washing her hands with soap. He didn't have to remind her; she did it all on her own. She even used the stool on her own. She didn't need his help at all. Wolffe felt a small twinge of pain in his heart. She was growing up so fast and he'd barely been around to see it. He'd missed so much, and he was going to miss even more.

"Ready to go back?" Wolffe asked after Cara finished drying her hands and hopped off of the stool.

Cara nodded and grabbed Wolffe's hand. He held it just a little tighter while they walked back to the room, because there might be a day when she no longer wanted to hold his hand, and when that day came, all he would have were the memories. It was expected of a clone to grow up fast, that was their purpose, but if he could ever find a way to stop aging, he'd give it to his daughter. It might be selfish, but he didn't want her to grow up. She was his baby girl and he wanted her to stay that way.

When rounded the corner of the hallway leading to the room, Wolffe could see Sinker standing outside of the door, dressed in his formal wear and holding what looked like Wolffe's officer uniform folded neatly in his hands. It must be that time, Wolffe guessed. He grabbed the uniform from Sinker and left Cara with him while he went into the room to change. When the door shut, Cara didn't say anything, but she did look a little confused. Sinker wasn't sure what to say to her, so instead of stumbling over his words, he said nothing.

Comet, Boost, and Warthog had already changed into their dress uniforms and went ahead, which left Sinker, Wolffe, and Cara to bring up the rear. It was fitting, in a way, for them to arrive at the funeral last. After a few moments, the door slid back open and Wolffe emerged in his officer's uniform. He fixed a couple of spots while Cara looked up at him with concern in her eyes, almost as if she knew what was going to happen, but still, no one had the heart to speak it out loud. Inevitably, it was time for them all to say goodbye.

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