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ageofbajabule · 1 year ago

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Dawn of Love | Chapter 1

Josh Kiszka x F! Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety talk?, (i don’t think i’m truly missing anything. if i am please let me aware!)

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Author’s Note: (18+ themes further on in the series) This series is going to be my baby, my pride and joy. I’ve been putting so much time and thought into this, and I truly do hope you all enjoy it and what I have planned. Please understand no themes relating to 18+ will take place until Josh and Reader are of consenting legal age in the series. Other than that, I do hope you enjoy this series.

October 2013

You had moved around different school districts thanks to your father being in the military… But this move was the final one. He had retired from the Air Force and decided to move to a small town. Known by the name Frankenmuth. It was a Bavarian town, everyone knew everyone and everyone was friendly.

Fitting in wasn’t typically hard, but being a new student in school also put you in the spotlight. You never really made the time to make actual friends considering the situation you grew up in being a military family. So this time around, you had to make the effort to find friends. All day you had the boring classes of general studies. But the class you couldn’t wait for was poetry - something about poetry just spoke to you, it always gave you the feeling of a welcoming home.

It wasn’t always just poetry that caught your eye, film and theatre also held a special place in your heart.

Something about the way Shakespeare wrote always called out to you - specifically Macbeth.

The bell rang indicating your Math class had finally ended. And your last class of the day was Poetry. Making your way there, you had entered the classroom. It was a smaller class, giving it an elective course. There was about 9 other people, you sat near the front of the classroom. The first bell had rang, the teacher waited for any last minute students. And sure enough a boy with shoulder length wavy hair cane sprinting in.

“Sorry! I got stuck in a little traffic jam there in the hallway.” The brunette boy laughed,

“Mr.Kiszka… This isn’t anything new. You need to do better on being on time.”

Mr.Zawalski motioned for him to join the class. He ended up sitting at the desk beside you.

“Last week we finished up our readings from Emily Dickinson, we will be starting with Edgar Allen Poe today. I’m sure most of you are well aware of his work, he had a very different approach than most poets.” Mr.Zawalski spoke as he started parading around the classroom. Everything about Poe, he wasn’t typically your style, but you had grown to like his work.

“He’s kind of a bore… I wish he was a bit more enthusiastic when teaching.”

The brunette boy had leaned over to whisper to you, chuckling as he saw you jump at the sound of his voice, making you giggle softly.

“He has a very monotone voice… Makes me want to fall asleep.” You shifted your body so more of you turned to face the stranger beside you.

“I’m sorry. Let me introduce myself, I’m Joshua Kiszka. But you can call me Josh. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N, but you can call me Y/N.” You smiled at him softly.

“Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Are you new here?” Then you heard Mr.Zawalski clear his throat, “Mr.Kiszka this isn’t time for mingling. Would you care to enlighten the classroom on what Poe’s poems were inspired by?”

Josh’s cheeks turned a shade of pink, then turned towards the teacher. “His own childhood trauma. At least that’s what most researchers have gathered.”

Seeming to be satisfied with Josh’s answer, Mr. Zawalski nodded and proceeded to carry on with his lecture - leading you and Josh to giggle quietly.

Before the end of class, Mr.Zawalski had announced there would be a project. And you had to pair up with somebody. Being you had been a new student and the only person you really clicked with was Josh, it was obvious who your partner would be.

“Well I guess we’ll be partners then?” He turned towards you,

“If you’re okay with that?” You smiled softly.

“Of course. Here is my number so we can start working on it.” He smiled taking your phone to type his credentials in, you sent him a text right away for him to save your information. “I’m free whenever. Except for this Wednesday night, I have theater tryouts.”

“I’ll be there too!” You smiled at him.

He chuckled softly, your smile turned wider. “Oh really? That’s great.”

You felt a blush creep onto your face.

“So what part are you trying for?” The bell then interrupted your conversation, “Guess you’ll have to find out at tryouts.” He smirked, getting up.

“That is a whole two days away!” You groaned getting up from your desk.

“I’ll tell you what, come over tonight so we can start working on this project. And maybe I’ll run a few lines to give you a hint at what part.” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Fine. You better stick to your word.” You giggled softly, walking towards your locker.

“You can come over around 5, join my family and I for dinner. My mom always makes enough to practically feed the neighborhood.” Josh spoke as he followed behind you, smiling from ear to ear as he spoke.

“Sure, as long as she doesn’t mind.” He shook his head, “She’ll be thrilled.” He smiled, then he was being pulled by a brunette guy who looked similar to him. But his hair was like a Justin Bieber style cut.

“Josh, we’re gonna be late for band practice.”

“Jeez, Jake I would’ve been right out!” Josh shouted, you looked between the two of them confused. “Sorry Y/N. This is my brother Jake.”

He smiled at you, “Twin brother actually.” Jake chimed in,

“But I’m older by 5 minutes!”

“Will you ever live that down?”

You giggled softly at them bickering. “It was great to meet you, but I don’t want to keep y’all from band practice. I didn’t know you were in the school band.” You smiled softly.

“No. Not a band for school, we have an actual band. We’re just getting started still…” Jake shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh. I’m sorry… Well, have fun, and I’ll see you later.” You flashed a smile before leaving the two of them to go on with their business.

➳

You had luckily gotten your license recently before moving to Michigan and asked to use your mom’s car to drive over to Josh’s house to work on your project tonight.

The drive wasn’t too far from where you lived, in fact you only live a couple blocks from each other. You could’ve probably walked. When arriving you parked on the street out front of their house, making way to the front door. You knocked softly, hearing some yelling behind the door - a girl who looked close in age to you answered the door.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Is Josh here? I’m here to work on a school project with him.” You spoke offering a small smile.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Veronica but I go by Ronnie. I’m his younger and only sister, he is actually finishing up practice with the guys. You can come in.” She motioned for you to come in.

“If you want, we can go out to the garage. That’s where they practice.”

You smiled, “Sure, why not.”

Ronnie nodded and took you out with her to the garage. As you walked in the guys were in the midst of a song, Josh was singing, Jake was playing guitar and there were two other boys. One looked similar to Jake, assuming it was another sibling of theirs. He was playing bass, and the other was playing drums. Ronnie and you had sat on the couch in front of them.

They sounded really good, for being so young. Josh had finally noticed you as a blush crept on his cheeks, he averted towards Jake as they finished up the song, and concluded their practice.

“That was better than the last run. We’ll resume back to this tomorrow.” Jake directed to them, “Sam, we got to tune that better. And Danny, we’ll have to try and rig the snare.”

They all nodded, making way to head into the house.

“I didn’t expect you to come out here.” Josh had chuckled softly.

“Ronnie asked if I wanted to. And figured why not.” You smiled softly, “So how many of you are there?” You whispered to him - in hopes that his siblings wouldn’t hear.

“There are four of us. Jake and I are the oldest, Ronnie is the middle and Sam is the youngest. And Danny, he's Sam’s best friend. But we consider him a brother, he’s been around for so long.” He smiled, a dimple peeking out.

“Dinner is probably ready, we should head in before my mother starts calling.” He chuckled softly, you followed behind him into the house. He led you to the dining room, it was big enough for everyone that was present. Once you stepped foot in, all eyes were on the two of you.

“Mom and Dad this is Y/N. She is new to our school, and my partner for our class project. But also a new friend.” He smiled at you.

“Oh it’s nice to meet you dear! It’s always great to meet one of Josh’s friends.” She beamed with excitement, “Please sit anywhere you’d like. I made grilled cheese and a family recipe of tomato soup.”

She motioned for you to sit. Josh pulled a chair out for you, that was next to Jake, and you sat down as Josh sat in the seat next to you.

��

Everyone had eaten, and once your bellies were full to content. You and Josh had decided to head to his and Jake’s shared room to work on the project. Both sides were different from one another, Josh having anything film related where Jake had music related posters.

“Jake and I are forced to share a room, while Ronnie and Sam get the luxury of having their own rooms.” He chuckled softly motioning for you to sit on his bed as he sat on a chair from his desk.

“It’s okay, my sister and I were forced to share a room when we lived in Oregon.” You giggled softly remembering the tiny two bedroom house your parents had gotten when your father was stationed on a mission again.

“Oregon? How did you end up all the way here?” Josh chuckled softly.

“My dad was in the military. We moved around quite a lot.” You responded nonchalantly.

“Oh wow. So you’re settled here in Frankenmuth, Michigan?”

“It's a cute town.” You giggled softly.

“We’re really known for Christmas. Whole town goes overboard with all of it, really. But it is nice. I do enjoy Christmas here.” He rubbed his hands together.

“So where are you originally from?” He questioned you.

“Florida.” You said flatly.

Honestly, you didn’t miss it - especially given the fact you had lived close to Orlando for quite some time, you hated the tourists all year round for the 9 years you lived there.

“Sunshine state… Hm. I think I’ll nickname you Sunshine. How does that sound?” He chuckled softly, a blush crept on your face.

“Sure…”

“Now, what role are you trying for Mr.Kiszka?” You impersonated Mr.Kiwalski’s voice. Earning a chuckle from Josh he shook his towards you.

“Don’t laugh.” He chuckled, “But I’m going for Wonka.”

You smiled at him softly, “I think you’ll fit perfectly…you have the characteristics for it.” You giggled softly.

“And how about you?”

“Veruka.” You giggled, sitting up straight.

“Well I guess we’ll just wait and see.”

December 2013

Ever since that poetry class, you and Josh had been inseparable. You finished your project earning an easy A on it. And then got the roles you had both wanted for the Willy Wonka play. Josh had been working on a film script for the last couple weeks, having you help assist him with it.

“You know you are quite the genius Sunshine.” Josh smiled at you, you smiled back. “I’m just doing what I can! I told you I’ll help film, and help with costumes as well.”

You finished writing in your journal with all of the plans for Josh’s film that was coming up early next month.

“Do you think it’s silly?” He scratched the back of his head.

“No, not at all. I think it’s going to be brilliant. You have a very creative mind Josh. You need to stop doubting yourself.” You replied, shaking your head to give more reinforcement to your words.

“It’s just I care a lot about film, and this band stuff with Jake sometimes can be a lot…” He sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Josh… Jake has told you that he would help in any way.” You sat next to him.

“Yeah, but this is his dream… He’s always wanted to be a rockstar. And I want that for him. Me, I'm just a silly old film guy.” He chuckled as you nudged him softly.

“Aaand he would want the same for you. Don’t beat yourself up. This film is going to be amazing. Now come on, we have a Christmas party to attend.” You stood up, putting your hand out for him to join.

Once he took your hand in his, it felt like electricity had gone through you. During the short time you’ve known Josh. You’ve grown to like him more than just a friend…

He stood up from his bed, dropping your hand from his slowly.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Y/N…” He smiled softly.

“Of course Josh, that’s what friends are for.” You smiled mentally slapping yourself. You wish you could tell him how you felt. But you also didn’t want to freak him out.

The two of you made way to the basement where the party was being held, Jake smiled and walked over to you giving you a tight hug. With how close you got to Josh, you got close to his twin as well.

“About time you two showed up. Was starting to think you were sucking face.”

Josh gave him a glare as his cheeks turned to a crimson. You blushed, staring at your feet. “No, we were just working on the last touches of the film Jacob.”

“Sorry…” He gave Josh an apologetic look, they had some sort of twin telepathy way of communicating. You just went with the flow of it all. Josh ventured off to some other film friends that you would eventually join.

“Hey I really didn’t mean to embarrass you guys…” Jake had spoken to you quietly.

“It’s okay Jake, really…” You fiddled with your hands.

“No, no it's not… Has Josh said anything to you lately?” You gave him a questioning look.

“Said what?” You grabbed a can of pop.

“Forget it…” Jake went to turn, you grabbed his arm.

“Jacob.”

“You can’t say anything.” Jake mumbled as he turned to face you.

You gave him a look, “Cross my heart and hope to die.” You giggled doing the little promise. He pulled you aside.

“Josh really likes you… But he’s just too afraid to admit it.” He said quietly to you, only audible for you to understand. You felt butterflies in your stomach.

“R-really…” You looked up at him.

“Yeah. Why do you think he’s been up your ass so much lately.” He chuckled softly, “But you didn’t hear this from me.” He gave you a stern look.

“Jake, I won’t say a word. Besides… He hasn’t even made a move…” You looked over at Josh watching him talk with your other friends.

“Give it time… He doesn’t really know how to go about these things. He might need a little push, but. He’ll do it.” He patted your back softly.

“Thanks Jake…” You smiled and walked over to your friends and talked about the plans for the new year.

January 2014

“Josh, how the hell did you book a hotel room for the weekend for this film? Don’t we have to be at least 21 to book?” You shot a glare as you settled your bags into the room.

“Sunny, you underestimate my skills… Have I taught you nothing.” He sighs, acting like he’s been hurt. “Okay. Maybe I did, but just a tiny bit.”

You giggled softly setting up your equipment - while Jake came into the room with the rest of their friends.

“Okay, so I totally did not cause a scene in the lobby…” He said nervously.

“Jacob, I swear if we get kicked out of this damn hotel before we even shoot anything. I’m kicking your ass.”

“Some idiot tried fucking with our equipment, what else was I suppose to do.” He defended himself, causing the two of them to bicker.

“Alright! It just better not result in anything bad…”

The remainder of the evening you had set the room up for the liking of how you were filming this short film that Josh had in mind. Jake was one of the main roles, along with their friend Grace. Filming was going great, you had everything pretty much under control so Josh could focus on filming and getting the right angles while you adjusted lighting, make up and props.

After a couple hours of shooting Josh figured it was time to call it a night. You had helped clean up the room while Jake and Grace had finished up their last shots, and proceeded to help clean as well. Josh had already started editing the clips from tonight, and said that we would pick it back up tomorrow.

The twins ended up sharing a bed, while you and Grace had shared the other. It's not like you and Josh haven’t slept by one another before. You had passed out on the pull out sofa bed in their basement a few times when you’d stay over late working on a project. But Jake didn’t want to make Grace uncomfortable.

➳

The next day filming had picked up, but Jake was in a mood as he was tired of filming the same scene for the past hour.

“Well Jacob if you’d actually put effort into it. We wouldn’t have to keep shooting this take!” Josh threw his hands up in frustration.

“How about we take a lunch break!” You suggested taking your headphones off.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Jake huffed grabbing his things, “You want to hit that Sub shop Grace?”

She nodded in agreement following Jake, leaving you and Josh to yourselves. Josh had put some things away grabbing a microwave.

“Joshua, what are you doing with the damn microwave?” You crossed your arms staring at him.

“I want to make stir fry. And I’m not trying to burn the room down, so to the hallway we go!” He made his way to the door, but he could open it considering his hands were full. So you opened the door, following behind him with your camera and other supplies.

Deciding to sprint to be in front of him, you took a picture of him with the microwave. “You’re something else Kiszka.” You giggled, getting to the end of the hallway. He plugged the microwave into the outlet, preparing the meal he had planned.

“Is this even going to be any good?” You gave him a concerning look.

“You have to live on the edge, a little mama.” He chuckled, mixing it together and placing it into the microwave, turning it on and setting it to whatever time and power he had it set as.

“Sir, what are you doing?” One of the maids had questioned him.

“Just making a five star meal. Care for some?” He smiled.

“You can’t do that out here. Why is it even out of the room?” She had questioned him, with her arms crossed.

“What do you mean? It was already out here.” He played a great character.

“Sir, I can assure you that is the room microwave you need to put it back in its rightful place. Or I will have to report you to the hotel staff.” She huffed watching him.

“It’s almost done cooking. It’ll be out of the way shortly.” Josh replied, smirking.

“I suggest you take it back now.” She then started to walk away to clean a room. Josh sat there letting it continue to cook.

“Josh, she seemed pretty serious.” You looked at him with worry.

“Sunshine, you need to liven it up!” He chuckled softly, as the microwave went off he unplugged it and walked back to the room with it.

“You Kiszka’s sure have a way…” You giggled softly, sitting on the bed.

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.” He chuckled softly sitting beside you with his plate, taking a bite he spit it out quickly. “Oh that is mortifying.” He made a gagging face.

“Not so bright Joshy…” You giggled softly.

“Come on, let’s go get some real stir fry.” You patted his back, he nodded, throwing out his creation.

➳

The two of you found a local Japanese restaurant not too far from the hotel. Taking in on dining there, you let Jake and Grace know where the two of you went in case they came back earlier than you two.

“So, the Valentine’s dance is coming up.” Josh had said nervously.

“Yeah, have you asked any special girl?” You smiled softly, taking a sip of your water.

“No, not yet…” He put his head down, like he was ashamed.

“It’s okay Josh, you don’t have to show up with a date. You can just go with friends.” You smiled softly at him.

“Uh actually. Y/N, I was wondering if maybe you would be my date for the Valentine’s dance.” He looked up at you nervously with flushed cheeks.

“You want me to be your date?” You smiled as your cheeks became a tinted pink.

He nodded, smiling softly, “Yeah. I’d really like it if you would?”

“Yeah, I’ll be your date…” You trailed off with a smile, giving him a small reassuring nod.

He smiled, chuckling softly, “I thought I was gonna walk out of here like a sore loser if you said no.”

“I would never say no to you Josh…”

February 2014

It was Friday, school was a complete drag the past week. They had a spirit week in honor of the Valentine’s dance tonight. Ever since Josh had asked you to be his date, the two of you had been inseparable. You had been working on the last touches of the short film you worked on together. It was nearing completion but Josh decided that the two of you should take this week off from editing, since the dance was taking up a majority of the time.

You had joined the student council prior to Christmas break, and helped the council decorate and plan the dance. It was senior year after all, you had to make some memories while living the last of your childhood. Josh knew how much it meant to you to partake in this, since you were never able to do much like this before.

You had been getting ready at home, finishing the last touches of your hair and makeup. You kept your makeup rather simple, not doing too much of a glam look, and your hair had some loose curls.

You went to your closet pulling your dress off from the hanger, it was an indigo dress that rested against your knees and had some slight rhinestone embellishments on the edges of the dress. You slipped it on looking at yourself in the mirror, content with your look you put your heels on and grabbed your small satchel heading downstairs.

Josh was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you with your parents and sister.

“You look absolutely stunning.” Your mom beamed.

“You look amazing, sweetie.” Your dad chimed in, agreeing with your mother.

Your sister smiled, clapping her hands together. She opted on staying home instead of going to the dance tonight. She was in the same grade as Sam and Danny and you have tried multiple times to get her to hang out with them.

“You look beautiful, Sunshine.” Josh came in front of you holding a beautiful white rose assortment corsage, with a boutineer to go with it.

You smiled softly in response.

“You look dashing.”

Your mom smiled coming over to aid the two of you with putting his boutineer on. Then Josh slipped your corsage onto your wrist.

“Okay! In front of the fireplace, we have to get pictures of you two.” Your mom beamed, as your father ushered you into the living room. Josh and yourself stood in front of the fireplace, as he placed his hand on the small of your back you felt butterflies in your stomach placing your arm around his back. You both posed and smiled for the millions of pictures your mother insisted on taking. Then took a couple with your parents.

“Guys it's not even prom, it's just a regular dance!” You giggled softly after taking enough pictures.

“Yes you’re right dear, but it’s your senior year!” Your mom beamed at you.

“We should really get going, otherwise we’ll be late…” You looked at the time.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’m late to a function!” Josh chuckled softly, you giggled in agreement.

“Yeah, but I think for once you should be on time.” You smirked and started to head to the door with him.

Before leaving your father gave Josh a whole spiel on his rules and when to have you home by. Typical dad move, but he just wanted to be in good hands.

“Dad, he’s a good guy. Besides I think Mrs.Kiszka would be on him if he didn’t abide by your rules.” You giggled softly as Josh nodded.

“Yeah, my mom would have my butt canned.”

The two of you then left your house, he opened the passenger side to his car letting you get in before he closed it getting to his side. Once you buckle your seatbelt he had gotten into the car buckling himself in the driving over.

After arriving, Josh had parked next to Jake’s car. Jake had gotten out and let his date out of the passenger side. He had asked Valerie to be his date, she was more than thrilled when he had asked her. Valerie was this sweet junior who was a part of the cheerleading squad and Jake was absolutely crushing on her.

“You guys look amazing!” You smiled at them, hugging Jake and then Val.

“You guys look great too!” Jake beamed.

“Well we should head in, it’s freezing out here.” Josh had motioned for everyone to make their way, as he kept his hand on the small of your back.

Once you entered the high school gymnasium there was a photo station off to the left, then a table for water and punch.

“Do you want some punch?” Josh looked over at you.

“Yeah, I’d like some.” You smiled.

“Grab a table and I’ll meet you there.” He wandered off to the refreshment table as you made way to a small table in the corner. Jake and Val had already ventured to the dance floor, making the most of their night.

Josh had returned with two cups of punch, setting yours down in front of you on the table, he smiled softly at you.

“My lady.” He chuckled softly, sliding into the chair beside you.

“Well thank you kind sir.” You giggled softly, taking a sip of the punch.

“You guys did really well with planning all of this.” He smiled, taking a sip of his punch.

“Thank you, I was nervous they weren’t going to like my ideas…” You slouched a bit - suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness hit you.

“Are you kidding! Sunny you are brilliant. Who wouldn’t like your ideas?” He smiled softly at you, you returned a smile as your cheeks flushed.

After conversing for a bit, the two of you decided to hit the dance floor joining Jake and Val. You guys had danced the night away, laughing and acting like complete idiots. But it’s all you ever wanted at this moment.

The DJ then turned things slow for a remainder of the evening starting off with All of Me by John Legend. Josh had you pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Smiling softly at him, you giggled to yourself softly.

“What is it, Sunshine?” He chuckled softly, catching your giggle.

“Nothing…” You blushed, placing your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as the two of you swayed.

“Your heart is beating rather fast Josh…”

You giggled and turned to look up at him, he then moved his one hand to caress your face.

“Y/N…”

You looked at his face, he licked his lips nervously.

“Yeah Josh…”

He studied your face, before zoning in closer he then pressed his soft plush lips against yours.

‘Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you’

You were taken by surprise, but immediately kissed him back softly letting your lips move in sync. Soaking in this moment together. After a moment the two of you pulled away, smiling while giggling at each other.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He shook his head, sighing softly.

“I think you should do it again.” You smiled brightly at him - he then captured your lips once more with his, giving a few little pecks before detaching his lips from yours.

“Y/N… I. Well, what I’m trying to ask.”

“Yes, Josh. I’ll be your girlfriend.” You giggled softly, rubbing his arm to soothe his nerves.

to be continued

Taglist -

@lyndszee @laneygvf @sacredthefran @starcatcherry @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock

#greta van fleet #gvf #greta van smut #gvf smut #josh kiskza fanfic #josh greta van fleet #josh kiszka series #josh kiszka #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka x y/n #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader #josh gvf #josh gvf smut

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obetrolncocktails · 1 year ago

Text

Deception | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 1

Warnings: This fic will include angst and smut. If those aren't your thing, don't read! Minors DNI!

Word Count: 2.1K

Authors Note: I had a hurtful, but oh so deliciously angsty idea for a fic involving Josh and a reader who was a fan, and led josh on to believe that they met naturally in a grocery store.

Summary: Be careful what you wish for. Wishes answered always come with consequences.

His sheets smelled of fresh linen, like fresh clothes pulled from a clothesline, crisp with the scent of sunshine. You’d burrowed yourself into them like a cocoon of welcome warmth, wrapping yourself in the swaths of fabric.

“For someone who claims to be so hot all the time, you sure look like you’re ready to hibernate,” Josh mused, strolling into the bedroom as he sipped from the lip of a large mug. He was prepared, having made you one as well. You offered him a gentle smile.

“I’m comfy,” you replied, satisfied with the simplicity of your response.

“Sit up, silly,” He said, lowering himself onto the bed, carefully handing you your piping-hot cup of coffee. Wisps of steam billowed over the top of the mug and you sipped tentatively at the liquid, feeling it instantly liven your body from head to toe.

“How does it feel to be twenty-six years and three hundred and sixty-four days old?” you asked him, eyeing him from over the lip of the cup.

“Geez, when you say it like that, you make me sound ancient,” he chuckled. You loved the way his lips curled upward when he grinned, revealing his brilliant, white teeth. The slight gap between his front two teeth always sent flutters through your body. You caught yourself admiring his delicate, but masculine features. “But I’m excited! I never thought I’d end up planning my own birthday party.” He looked at you with amusement.

“Come on. You mean to tell me you didn’t enjoy designing your own birthday cake?” You said, taking another long swig of your coffee before lowering it to your lap as you crossed your legs. “Only you would choose that symbol.”

His widening grin told you all you needed to know. “Yeah, that was pretty cool.” His eyes glimmered with child-like amusement, which sent a pang through your chest. “I’m just glad that everyone can make it, you know? It’s hard these days to get everyone in one place at the same time.”

You nodded, reaching to place the cup on the bedside table. “Sam, Danny and I made sure that everyone could make it.” You ruffled your messy hair with your fingertips, watching him finish off his coffee. “We threatened physical violence if they didn’t.”

“Okay, but who’s the one throwing the punches?” Josh asked, his eyebrows raised with amusement.

“Who do you think?” You answered, lifting your fists playfully in front of you. “They don’t want it, I promise you.”

“Put your guns away,” He chuckled. “I bet you Jake is gonna be so jealous,” He continued, setting his cup on the side table before moving back to lay on the bed and prop up his head on his hand. His eyes brightened, his cheeks filling with color.

“Of what?” You asked, taking another sip of your coffee.

“My party.” He said lightly.

“I mean, you are the more performative of the two, so…” You admitted. He turned to you, scoffing incredulously.

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” He asked, gawking. He couldn’t hide, though, that his features were fighting the urge to twist into a ridiculous smirk. His eyes seemed to glitter as he questioned you.

“Nothing!” You said, rolling out of bed with your empty coffee cup.

“No, no! You don’t get off that easy,” Josh said, pulling at the thin fabric of your sleep shorts, pulling you back closer to him.

“Oh , you want me to say sorry?” You asked him, biting your bottom lip as your eyes glimmered with mischief.

“I thought maybe you could show me you’re sorry instead,” he said. “Come here.”

You obeyed him, leaning closer to him. “Yes sir.”

The intensity in his eyes deepened as his fingertips pulled upward to gently caress your chin and jaw, drawing your face forward to meet with his lips. The feeling of his touch ignited the heat between your thighs. Josh’s boyish features could easily morph in the matter of seconds into something almost siren-like—He naturally honed the ability to unconsciously will you to do anything for him with just a look. He harnessed the power to peer straight through your soul like glass, like he could somehow see all of you at once, including your every thought, worry, and desire. At the beginning of the relationship, it had made you feel extremely vulnerable and unguarded, but now? Now, you found comfort in him knowing everything about you. Well, almost everything. There were certain things that you weren’t ready to tell him yet. You’d wait for the right time to come clean.

You gave in to the gentle caress of his velvet lips and folded your body into an innate dance, moving in an exact mirror to him as he explored you. “You want me to show you just how sorry I am?” You whispered against his parted lips, your voice barely more than a huff of breath as your instincts began to take over. His hands slid to your hips, pulling you against him. You took that as his answer.

“Go right ahead,” he purred softly. It was moments like these when you’d often felt most vulnerable in front of a man. In most of your previous relationships, you’d been so reluctant to let your partners in, to see the most vulnerable, insecure, and sensitive parts of yourself. You’d built your walls with an impenetrable defense, constructed by so many years of hating your own body more than anyone else could. Recently, it was becoming clearer to you that there was one thing that you knew for sure about Josh. He silently set himself apart from everyone else. Not once had he ever judged you for your appearance; for the extra curves, the extra pounds, the imperfect folds and creases that were so ugly to you, but so perfect to him. Even so, he didn’t feel pity for you, either. He treated you like a person, not the fragile pane of glass you had let yourself become in the hands of so many past partners’ hands. Not a single interaction was laced with unspoken judgment, because the truth was simple. Being fat meant nothing to Josh.

You remembered those first days when Josh all but begged you to stop apologizing for the things that you couldn’t and shouldn’t change, constantly reminding you that you were a beautiful woman. “You are allowed to take up space in this world. Stop apologizing for abiding in it, Y/n. You have nothing to worry about when you’re with me,” he had said to you after a few dates, when you’d make it a point to apologize or somehow discount your appearance or importance. You couldn’t help it. It had become the safest defense mechanism that you could create; you’d insult yourself before anyone else could beat you to it.

You let yourself fall after those first few weeks, and unsurprisingly, it was one of the easiest decisions you had ever made. The loop of his fingers around yours began to feel so natural and reassuring. You could count on him to encourage you to try new things, to leave you in stitches from laughing, and at the end of the night, you could rest assured that he’d leave you thinking about him for every moment he wasn’t with you.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, the corners of his lips twitching upward in a curious smile.

“You,” you answered honestly, reaching forward to tuck some of his curls behind his ear.

“Oh no,” he answered, his cheeks flushing. “Should I be running for cover?” He asked, pretending to get up.

“No, no, come back here,” you said, pulling at his arm. You let the moment settle into contented silence as you both let your gaze linger between each other. “Can I tell you something?”

“Always. What’s up?” Josh asked, moving to caress your arm softly as you prepared to speak. You pulled yourself upward to sit straight on the bed, and he did the same, sitting in front of you.

“You are–” you paused for a moment, figuring out the next words before speaking again. “You are the closest thing I’ve had to a home in a very, very long time, and I think I’m ready.” You both had agreed that sex wasn’t expected in the relationship until you had told him so, and even then, with Josh, you knew that you wanted it to be special when it was time.

“Ready for?” He asked, his eyes widening slightly. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“I am ready to be with you. I am ready to have sex, if and when you are.” You pulled your gaze upward to look him in the eye. “I want to be yours completely, Josh. You make me feel beautiful, and I think I am beginning to believe it, too.” The words spilled out of you easily, because for the first time, you believed them.

“You are truly marvelous,” he spoke, straightening to sit cross legged again on the bed. “I am a lucky man, and I gotta say. Thank God we love the same pasta sauce.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as he recounted your first meeting at Kroger. You had been choosing between pasta sauces, and couldn’t decide whether to stay with your tried-and-true selection or try something new.

“You want this one,” he had said, pointing to the one in your right hand–the one that was your favorite. You looked up, and were automatically struck by his natural beauty–the mixture of feminine and masculine features which were combined in an almost artistic product. You couldn’t look him in the eye, and you certainly couldn’t talk straight.

“What?” You said after a long moment, yanking yourself out of your daze. “Oh. Yeah, this one? You said, raising the jar in the air. “It’s my favorite. Don’t break it if it isn’t fixed–right?” You decided to keep your mouth shut rather than fix the saying that you had just butchered so badly. Josh laughed, reaching for a jar of his own off of the shelf.

“Something like that, yeah.” His dimples were huge, and his teeth were so white they almost seemed to sparkle. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. For a moment, you forgot how to swallow, how to talk, how to breathe. How are you real? You remembered thinking to yourself.

“Sorry, I’m just a little–frazzled. I’m Y/n.” you said, stupidly extending your hand to him.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. Grocery shopping can really take it out of us,” he said, taking your hand. You were grateful for his skillful segue. “I’m Josh.”

You nodded. “Nice name,” you told him before mentally kicking yourself in the head. You’d wished you’d worn steel toes, and also that you had crazy flexibility so you could kick yourself across the pasta aisle. God I’m so fucking dumb.

“I’d say yours is far more lovely,” he said, saving you again, and you couldn’t save the heat from filling your face. You were becoming intensely aware of your insecurities as you felt his eyes float over your body and back up to your face.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, feeling anxiety exploding through your system like a disturbed hornet’s nest.

“Well, I hope your pasta turns out delicious,” he said. “I can tell you’ve got great taste,” he said, putting the jar in his small hand basket.

“You too,” you said with a gentle smile. “Only losers eat Prego,” you said with a grin.

“That’s a bold statement, Y/n. We need to make sure that Campbell’s Soup Company isn’t listening to our every word.” You couldn’t help but snicker, accidentally snorting at the stupid joke.

“Stupid joke?” he asked, reading your mind.

“Yeah, I gotta admit. It was a terrible joke,” you said, your cheeks aching painfully from grinning.

“Ah well, I’m known for them, so,” he shrugged, adjusting his basket in the crook of his elbow. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Y/n. If I see you next time, maybe we’ll compare ingredients again.”

“I’m ready for you,” Josh said. “I’ve known it’s you for a while now,” he admitted, reaching forward to take your hands in his. “I want to make it special,” He continued. “Let me make you dinner. You already know what’s on the menu, besides you, of course,” he said with a soft grin.

“Josh Kiszka’s world famous Spaghetti?” You said, eyeing him with a smirk.

“You know it!” He said excitedly. “Come here, let me kiss you.”

You obeyed him instantly, leaning forward into his awaiting embrace, letting yourself be truly loved for the first time.

You heard a buzz from your phone on the side table, but ignored it.

You’re a whore for going after the celebrities you write such filthy smut about. I’ve found you, and it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out about your little secret. Could be fun, don’t you think?

End of part 1.

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littlemisslipbalm · 1 year ago

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Demonology: Me & My Dog

Series Summary: A new demon has come to Nashville. Josh and Jake's ways of life have been thrown off by her arrival. The angel and demon have lived with an understanding of one another, but with Y/N stirring up trouble and asking questions, they're forced to work out a new normal. And why is she so powerful for a human turned demon anyway, that's unusual, right?

Jake Kiszka x f!reader and Josh Kiszka x f!reader

A/N: This will be at least three parts! This first part is more about Josh and the reader, the second will be more Jake and then we will see with part 3 what is to happen. Please let me know what you think with comments and reblogs and messages to my inbox!! I want to talk about this bc I have been so excited to share it!!

Word Count: 5.4k | Warnings: alcohol consumption, strong language, allusions to sex - minor descriptions of sex but not descriptive smut (still 18+!!), dubious comprehension of angel/demon mythology, like this is fiction fr so if it does not make sense i am sorry but idc (but am also open to suggestions thx)

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Part 1: My & My Dog

When being told to stir up some trouble on Earth, Y/N was more annoyed that she had to go back at all than excited that she was moving up in the ranks. Afterall, she’d only died 50 years ago. It was already time to go back? She thought she had eternity down here.

From what she’d heard from other members of the underworld, it’d just gotten worse since she’d left. Prior to 1976 had been a riot for her (1976 was not her favorite, but dying usually wasn’t in people’s top ten greatest moments), but now it sounds worse than Hell itself.

Still, like a good little demon soldier, she trudged through the dim back rooms to find the dull office that would provide her with the necessary documents to take a corporeal form and inhabit the physical sphere for an extended period of time.

“Can I bring my dog?” She asks, kicking at a piece of garbage on the floor. It littered the entire ground around her feet.

“Dog?” The servant of hell inquired.

“Chupacabra,” She corrects.

“Sure,” Their eyes raise from filling out the paperwork to the little animal beside her. “Extra form you need to both sign. Says he’ll suck the blood of at least five animals per earthly week while he’s there. We don’t do ESAs here.”

“Fab,” She sighed in relief and scratched behind the ears of her dog that she had re-encountered shortly after arriving in Hell.

The chupacabra placed his paw in some mysterious blood that had formed in the pewter catch-all dish sitting beside the papers and then pushed it onto the form. Signed, sealed and soon to be delivered. They were getting out of Hell.

When she materialized on Earth, she wasn’t sure where she was exactly. The home office didn’t give that information, you just had to figure it out yourself. She had been hoping for her hometown of Los Angeles or another major city center she’d never been to before. Maybe London or Tokyo would be a fun change of pace.

After walking what felt like 20 miles, but was probably half of that given that she wasn’t used to physical legs anymore, she came upon a sign as to where she was. A mural to be exact.

It had only been woods and fields for the first half, but then there were more buildings. Coffee shops, bagel shops and something that was called a ‘Vape’ shops. Everything advertised themselves as historic music sites. But it wasn’t until 1504 Demonbreun St. that she fully ascertained she was in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee.

“Welcome to Nashville”

“Fuck yeah,” She smiled. A friend back in the day had been from here and told her about it a few times. It wasn’t a major capital city or home, but it was a city alright. And where there was nightlife, she was sure there could be trouble.

She spent the rest of the day checking around her surroundings. Finding the place Hell had given her to lodge in. It wasn’t much but she remembered earthly delights and planned to spruce it up, give it a vibe. She wrote a note on the wall with a deep red pen she had brought with her a list of items she needed. Couch, rug, bed, posters, an electric guitar and lots of wine and clothes. The ink dripped down the wall and she smiled, swiping at it and placing it to her lips.

She passed the rest of the daylight hours with great displeasure for the living people around her who barely seemed to notice her. Not that she looked any different than them, but it just bothered her that no one was as friendly as when she’d last been here. No one bothered to say ‘hello’, all they did was stare or talk into their rectangular devices she had realized were portable telephones half way through the day.

Broadway St. seemed to be the place Y/N thought she’d find the most possible trouble. It was lit up like the Sunset and if it weren’t for all the horribly dressed people surrounding her, she would’ve felt right at home.

At one of the bars, she got free shots from the bartender with a flash of her eyes. From the regular dark brown iris, they flashed an entire eternal glassy black. He smiled dreamily in the abyss and walked away after she winked at him. She swung back the shots and made her way to the dance floor.

Raising her hands above her head, she began to dance. Her black lace dress hugged her curves and shifted with her. Her silver jewelry glinted dangerously as she moved. The lights in the bar shifted to stay red instead of the flashing multi-colors that had bothered her when she entered. She moved her hips to the music and slowly it transformed from a poppy song she didn’t know to Led Zeppelin.

Robert Plant’s voice got everyone dancing the way they should and the vapes transformed into cigarettes and she smiled to herself feeling alive for the first time in a long time. Maybe being back wasn’t so bad. She drank more and danced more and saw people getting drunk and making out in corners and thought debauchery worked as trouble. Job done for the day.

She relaxed into the sway of the music, writhing around like a snake as her skin grew dewey with perspiration. A tug at her arm brought her out of her euphoric state. All night she had made sure no one would bother her, but whoever this was didn’t seem to follow her rules.

She opened her eyes, fully black once more as she stared at who was holding her wrist. She tugged back but his hold was secure. He pulled her to the side of the dancefloor, a space conveniently opening up.

“Get your hands off me! What the fuck, man?”

“You can’t be here,” He spoke calmly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. He had on a white plain t-shirt and light wash jeans, with opalescent beads hanging around his neck. His eyes were an oddly familiar light brown. His hair was shaved on the sides, creating a sort of mullet that she mildly appreciated if he hadn’t been so rude as to pull her away from her fun. That mullet exposed the golden earrings in his pointy ears.

There was something different about him. None of it was in his physical form but she felt it, vibrating and extending around him. As if he had invisible light passing around and through him even in the dark dingy bar lighting.

“Says who?” She finally tugged her arm free from his hold and crossed her arms across her chest, pressing her breasts up in the process.

His eyes flicker to the movement before pressing his lips into a thin line “Says me.”

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “And you are?”

“Joshua. I protect this town," he says. He wrings his hands around the gold bracelets on his wrists. “You can’t come into these bars and just mess with everything about them. It’s wrong.”

“Yes I can, Josh,” She smirks. “I’m a demon as you clearly already can tell. I can do whatever I want.”

“Oh my God,” Josh sighs, exasperated already. “There’s already a demon here.” He knew the other one quite well and was at least able to keep him in check. A newcomer would mean more work.

She shrugged. “Not my problem, angel. Hell sent me up here, guess they’re not happy with the other one’s performance.”

She moved to go back to the bar for another drink when Josh looked like he was a million miles away. He’d really killed her buzz. Josh’s mentioning of another demon made her stop and ask as an afterthought: “What’s this other demon’s name?”

“Jacob–er, uh, Jake,” Josh corrects himself. He hadn’t gone by Jacob since, well, since before, even if Josh wished he could just call him Jacob.

“Groovy.” Her smile is wicked, her lips painted a red so deep it resembled dried blood. “Displeasure meeting you, angel. Come find me if you ever want to have a real good time.” She kissed his cheek before disappearing behind a group of people.

Two weeks later, Y/N was seated on a bench in the park with her legs kicked up. She looked like she was a dead body–which more or less, she was, but the way she was sitting was unusual for someone who was supposedly alive. Her dog was perched unnaturally along the backrest, soaking in the sun he had missed. They looked out of place.

She had come out in the midday to see if she could start any fights in the park. She’d quickly learned that malfunctions with their little handheld phones really upset the modern humans so she liked to mess with wifi and electrical connections every odd day or so just to keep up the no-good work.

Her black RayBans covered her eyes as they surveyed the green grass for potential targets for a bit of a row. She sat as far away from the people as possible, so she had enhanced her vision as if using a zoom function. But soon something white blocked her vision.

“Angel,” She practically growled. Her dog actually growled, sitting up.

“Mind if I sit,” Josh asks pleasantly, eyeing the dog with caution. It looked like a normal dog, but a clip in his right ear and a strange red shimmer in his eyes made Josh think there might be something hellish about him.

She took her feet off the bench and pushed her sunglasses up off of her face. “Finally want a taste of what you’re missing?”

“No,” he states flatly. His eyes were still wandering between the creature and the demon. She was dressed in all black, typical. The dog was between cream and the lightest brown he’d ever seen, atypical. “Is this your dog?”

“Yeah.” She smiles softly for the first time. Her hand goes to pet him between his ears and down his small snout. “He was waiting for me in Hell back’n the day. They made him a chupacabra for me as a ‘Welcome to Hell’ present.”

Josh’s eyes widened in surprise. What had she done in life to receive a present in Hell? “They like you down there?”

“Eh…I think I’m just a descendant of many a troublemaker. They knew I’d be an asset, especially when I arrived so early.”

Her dog slipped into her lap. For a moment, he shifted as he stared at Josh. Big ruby eyes glowered at him, all his hair was gone, leaving something more resembling a pale soft dog-rat. Disturbing and wretched, nonetheless. He wrinkled his nose at Josh.

Josh tried to smile, feeling awkward. Jake had insisted he find this demon Josh had encountered, needing more information about whether he was really in trouble or if it was procedural. Why Jake wouldn’t do it himself, Josh never got as many answers as questions he asked.

“Do either of you have names?”

She grinned. “Is this twenty questions? Why so interested in me?”

“Just want to get to know my opposition,” Josh says lightly, praying for her to feel extra kind today. Afterall, she was a demon who was originally human and it was only a little while ago from what she seemed to like. He was pretty sure she’d only been down in Hell for 50-60 years, that was barely a human lifetime—and yet it was longer than hers. Far less than Jake. Maybe he could neutralize her, get her to see the bright side.

“His name is Rune, now, but it used to be Rori.” She rubs over the dog’s hair, happy that he was softer on Earth. “He responds to both–for me. Not sure what he should be called now we’re back.”

Josh waited patiently. The breeze was cooler than usual and looking at her, he had to assume it was her as well. She seemed far too powerful for a run-of-the-mill demon who used to be human. But she also seemed extremely unlikely to answer his questions if he got too personal.

With her eyes uncovered, Josh watched them move around as she thought about something. It was almost like she was tracking something or doing some long form math equation in her head. Like she didn’t know what her name was and was looking for the answer.

“Mine…well, now you can call me Sal.” She winks and Josh straightens in his seat, feeling strange. “Gonna write about me in your diary now, Joshua?”

Josh pretends to laugh with a clipped “ha ha.” She smirked again, sliding closer to Josh on the bench. Rori grew annoyed and hopped off her lap, slinking off to climb a tree in hopes of finding a squirrel. Sal extended a delicate hand to Josh’s shoulder, beginning to play with the fabric of his shirt. He smiled tightly, not having anywhere to go if he wanted more answers.

“You said you arrived early?” Josh’s voice is high as he feels her touch moving down his arm. Thankfully, being an angel kept him from feeling her entire influence, but her physical touch was enough to feel something…unholy. He didn’t want to imagine her abilities on mortals. “What did you mean?”

“You’re fun,” She beamed. “If I show you some tricks I picked up in Hell, will you show me something?”

“It depends what you want to see,” Josh tries to be diplomatic.

Her head throws back in laughter. “Not that. No, I want you to want me to see that.” Her hand wanders to his wrist and toys with the bracelet before slinking to his thigh. Her voice was low and sultry, lips pressed to his ear. “Desperately.”

Josh was starting to feel like he might have to leave. His breathing had turned shallow and he couldn’t stop staring at the carnelian stone hanging between her breasts. Her hand’s touch left him and she laughed again bringing him out of his reverie.

“Hell, you’re pretty cute…I was a 27 club member.” She shrugged, turning away from Josh to stare out at the people again. “Had my heyday in the late 60s/early 70s and went out the same way I lived. Fast.”

Josh thought about the 60s and the 70s. He’d admit those decades were a bit of a guilty pleasure for him. Nashville had been fun, not as crowded. He watched her again, seeing her eyes narrow looking at the couples and the groups of friends.

“You weren’t from here?”

“LA. Broadway’s kinda like the Sunset Strip, just a bit more loser-y…NashVegas, just like Liv said.”

Josh was about to protest, but refrained, letting her reminisce. She did miss her friends from back then. They’d gotten up to so much trouble. Sometimes too much.

“Best of times, worst of times kind of thing y’a dig?” She tapped the heel of her boot like she was trying to shake off something unpleasant. “Just glad I had my dog for most of the time. He followed me everywhere and everyone’d let ‘im in because he was such a doll. Died ‘bout three years ‘fore me.”

The more she spoke the more her accent of a bygone era of California popped up. Josh couldn’t deny how sweet she sounded when she spoke about that thing, demonic as the pair of them were.

“How long’ve you’ve been up–er, down here?” She asked, barely realizing she had to correct for him.

Josh cast his eyes to the sky, thinking. “Since the beginning. That’s like, 8000 human years, I believe.”

“Get the fuck outta town!” She exclaimed, jumping in her seat to face him. Her eyes were alight with hellfire. “You’re a proper angel then?”

Josh chuckled. “They don’t really take new hires upstairs, I’m afraid. Only very special occasions. It doesn’t happen much these days.”

She regarded him for a moment, inventorizing him again now that she deemed him far more interesting than before. “Yeah, I was on a special list when I came down. Only a few others in my line, everyone else had to wait in this huge waiting room. It was…repulsive and I’ve been in the alley behind the Whisky.”

Josh tilted his head, looking over her once more. He felt like he should know her, but he couldn’t understand from where. She looked so familiar. Her hair seemed to shift every so often and he couldn’t be sure if it was the light or mood dependent. He didn’t prod at her mentioning the special treatment in Hell, didn’t want to alert her to the fact, that from what he knew, that was extremely rare.

“Have you told your demon friend about me yet?” She asked.

“He’s not my friend,” Josh responds automatically.

Her eyebrows raise as she turns her head back to him, scanning him for understanding. A killer upon its prey.

“Secret lover?” She guesses.

Josh can’t hide his face of disgust. “Jesus! No!”

“Homophobic?” She asks with a look of distaste. Not being for the gays was so not groovy. Half the musicians she hung out with back in the day were gay. And she wasn’t one for choosing when it came to sexuality.

“No!” Josh cries. “I am more than an ally to that cause, not that angels really have sexualities…it’s just.” He sighs, rubbing at his neck confusion. “He was, is–I don’t know, my twin.”

“Oh!” She beams, eyes once again lighting up in intrigue. She enjoyed learning things, it helped for using it against people at the end of the day. “So he’s also a proper demon. Fell and all that.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He sounded pained, as if he was reliving the entire thing.

“Wow…” She blows out a breath. “That must be funky.”

She continued when Josh said nothing. “Y’know ‘cause he’s your brother but also he’s–” She finished her statement by sticking her pointer fingers through her hair and wiggling them around.

“Yes, I am aware.” Josh shakes his head.

She stood up and stretched her arms over her head, revealing her stomach below the flowy lace top she was wearing. “Great catch up, I guess, angel. Wanna trade tricks later? I’ve already worked through most of the main bars here and I’m getting bored.” Nothing was keeping her interest, since every place she had to transform into her liking.

“You want to hang out with me? You want to hang out with an angel?”

She grinned, turning around herself once before dropping her arms and stalking back towards Josh, standing directly in front of him. She leaned over him, watching him straighten his neck and swallow thickly. His eyes flickered from her face to the carnelian again.

“Everyone else is too easy around here. I need a challenge.” Her lips were right in front of his. “You seem like the perfect remedy for a wayward soul like me.”

Josh wasn’t exactly sure why he agreed to meet the demon at some speakeasy she said she needed to try. He wasn’t fully sold on calling her ‘Sal’, something about it felt off to him. She didn’t even really seem to care for it either. Jake, he knew, was vehement that he wished to be called Jake.

Jake was probably why he had come to the back door of a pizza joint that was actually the door to the underground speakeasy. He’d asked for more information on her. When Josh had inquired why Jake couldn’t just do it himself, his twin finally fessed up that he was actually not currently in Nashville at all. Leaving the heavy lifting to Josh, like always.

Begrudgingly, Josh entered another bar with plans to meet a demon. Heaven forgive him. It was smokey inside the brick-walled cavern. Small candles lit the tabletops and narrow bar top. A small dance floor was packed as people danced slowly to a jazz band. In the corner of the room, he saw her hair almost glowing in the dark and he made his way over.

She was dressed in a black pantsuit, with no undershirt, just a black lace bra and her same necklace. Rori wasn’t present, from what Josh could see, but based on their conversation earlier he had a feeling the demon dog was around, lurking.

She groaned when she saw what Josh was wearing.

“Angel, man, do you have any other clothes besides that?” She shook her head in disappointment.

“Of course I do,” Josh huffed, looking down at his clothes not understanding what was wrong with them.

“Change.”

“I can’t perform miracles just to change my outfit. That’s wrong.”

“That’s wrong, it’s wrong,” She parrots what she thought was becoming Josh’s mantra. “God, Heaven sounds so stifling.” She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers with impatience.

In an instant, Josh was dressed in a red velvet jumpsuit with sequins around the neckline. His arms were on full display, muscles bulging while the velvet hugged his torso and lengthened his height. He smooths at his hair and feels something come off his skin. On his hand, he sees glitter. He looks at her again and then down at his new clothes. She was eyeing the bulge veering to his right thigh.

“Much better.” She grins.

Josh rolls his hand in front of him quickly, almost like a benediction, and once again his outfit has changed. Now, he was in a cream and grey jumpsuit that was far less flashy of his own with his favorite sigil emblazoned on the chest. He left the glitter and sat down.

Her unamused look makes Josh feel a little hot with shame.

“A little miracle to make sure I don’t look like a demon can be forgiven.”

“You looked foxy but whatever.” She rolls her eyes and flicks a hand at the table, producing a bottle of red wine for both of them. “You drink, surely. C’mon, don’t act like your demon brother hasn’t corrupted a few of those precious angel feathers.”

Josh can’t help the smile that falls over his face. Not sure what was so endearing about her at this moment. The romantic jazz might have something to do with it. He loved jazz. He takes the drink gratefully and they sip in companionable silence. She was subdued.

With one bottle down, they start a second and this is when she offers to show Josh a trick if he’ll show her something again. He shrugs in compliance, feeling well on his way to drunk.

“But won’t the other people in here see?” He adds.

“No, they all know to mind their own business. Plus, it’s dark in here.” She winks and suddenly Josh is staring at only her head.

He can seriously only see her head and neck. She moves closer to him and now Josh is certain, she’s made her body disappear. She was a dishonest-to-god floating head. Her head glowed gold for a moment as she twirled in a complete 360 to really show herself off. Josh’s eyes were as wide as possible trying not to cry out in amazement. Then the rest of her body reappeared, straddling Josh’s lap. With her arms draped over his shoulder, her all black soulless eyes gazed into Josh’s, practically paralyzing him with her fiery warmth and intensity.

“So what do you think, angel?”

“I, uh,” Josh stuttered. He placed his hands firmly on her hips and moved her off of him. “That’s impressive. What’s it good for?”

“S just fun,” She shrugged, undetered by Josh removing her from his lap. “Let’s dance and then you can show me your wings or something.”

Josh didn’t have time to protest, as she grabbed his wrist with one hand and their second bottle of pinot noir in the other.

She took a swig before letting it float in the air beside them. Her body swiveled around the dance floor, placing herself in Josh’s arms as he swayed respectfully. She sighed and sunk into the movement, drinking from the bottle every so often. When the song changed, she turned to face Josh, handing the wine to him. He drank obediently, which she felt was a triumph.

Hands draped over his shoulders again, she pressed her body against his. He was strong, she could feel his toned stomach. Her regular eyes met his and she tipped her nose against his. He looked stoicly back at her, determined to be friendly but not fall into the trap she was so clearly laying for him.

“You’ve got so many defenses up,” She whispers. “Why not do what you want for once? Loosen up. Indulge.”

Josh smiles down at her and moves his lips to her ear. Polite as ever, he speaks soothingly. “I am having a lovely time with you, Sal.”

She groans, pressing his hands to her hips again, where the curve of her ass was. “I can gaurantee you’ve never had what I’m offering you…”

Josh smiles knowingly, unconvinced. “I’m afraid I’m above your temptations. Is seduction your main area of expertise?”

She glares at him, but there’s a glint in her eye. She loved the chase. The difficulty.

“Debauchery in general, but with how many people wanted to have sex with me in my first life I have a specialization in seduction and desire.”

He shrugs, moving his hands to a respectful place on her waist. His touch is light, but she feels the pressure of his thumbs pushing at the exposed skin. She smirks and snakes her lips up to his ear.

The gold hoop glints and she flicks her tongue over it. “I could just show you what you’re missing. If you’d allow me to put it in your mind, we wouldn’t actually do it. You’d be in complete control. Halo intact. C’mon just a few images…it’ll be informative.”

Josh sighs as the tug of her teeth on his earring. She was bad. Terribly good at her job. He understood why she was here. Jake wasn’t even in town. Damn him. If he did his job a little better, Josh wouldn’t be contemplating allowing a demon into even a small recess of his mind. But, Jesus, did he want to just see it. If it wasn’t real, it wasn’t really a sin to indulge.

She stares at him, waiting for his response. Her hands run over his shoulders and chest. The music swells and Josh’s hands tighten on her waist as he looks up to the ceiling, praying for forgiveness.

“For educational purposes,” He starts and she grins. “I will allow you to show me how you do your job. So that I may be able to thwart your wrongdoings better.”

“It’s just a little sex,” She licks her lips. “Igniting passion in people makes more babies for you to teach heavenly values or whatever. God likes sex, Josh.” Her voice is sickening, it was like she was dripping in a delicious scent that Josh can’t get out of his head. Twisting his values and her intentions into something evil that somehow made wicked sense.

He’s been careful to only open up a small piece he knows he can close, but he almost loses his footing when he finally feels her stinging lips on his. She licks into his mouth and he’s about to protest before the images begin to flow through his mind.

‘Good thing your brother doesn’t have to transfer information like this, huh?’ Sal says within Josh’s mind.

Guiltily, he feels himself laughing. Though his physical body is still locking lips with her.

The room she brings him to in his mind is dark, a red lamp in the corner where two bodies are rolling around. Sighs of ecstasy filling his ears. The smell of sex hanging in his nose.

‘You’re really missing out, angel. Could show you the best thing life, and death, has to offer.’ Her voice is softer in his mind.

The scene changes. He’s staring up at her above him. Her hips are working over him steadily as her naked breasts bounce in front of him, her necklace is the glowing light now. Her voice is sinful as she moans praises for Josh. How good he feels, how big he is, how strong he is. The scene changes and he’s driving into her with her legs over his shoulders, she’s smiling sweetly up at him with her mouth open, repeating his name like a prayer. It shifts and she’s pressed face down in the grey silk pillows, her body spread out for him as he grunts and growls, thrusting ceremoniously into her as she screams for him to keep going. It’s melodic, every bodily sound and the scene of their physical bodies uniting is hypnotic. Like it was pre-ordained that he would fit so well inside her. He feels euphoric as it shifts once more. She is back on top, his hips press up into her as she grinds down. Their faces are pressed together as Josh holds her body close to him. Arms enveloping her fragile frame. The room is quiet as they are pressed skin to skin, her lips meeting his gently. Sharp gasps escape their trembling lips.

‘Okay, enough,’ Josh pushes away from the scene, feeling both aroused and confused.

In the speakeasy, she pulls back from the kiss with a wipe of her lips. She runs her hands through her hair as she watches Josh. She had shown him every one of his fantasies, placing herself at the center of them. They weren’t particularly raunchy, it was all about connection to him and for once she didn’t tease.

“I like you, Joshua,” She says, truthfully, allowing him to pull their bodies a little apart.

He was flustered and confused and embarrassed, but he also didn’t want to run. She had kept her word, shown him a few things and left. He didn’t fully understand the words she had just spoken.

He shakes his head, an awkward smile on his lips there on accident, and she stares at him wistfully.

“I haven’t had someone in my mind in a very long time.”

“It’s okay,” She soothes. “You really are an angel. Maybe on this earthly plane for too long since you clearly have carnal desires, but they were sweet. Every man’s mind I’ve looked into had vile and cruel desires…” She paused, looking past Josh. “Even in my first life, all the men I knew wanted to hurt the women they supposedly loved.”

Josh’s eyebrows shot up in shock.

“The closest you got to dirty was having me in do–”

“Okay!” Josh cut her off. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” He turned and walked swiftly through the crowd, parting easily for him–definitely not a misuse of his miracles.

“Fine,” She grinned wickedly and whistled for Rori, sauntering after Josh.

Back on the street, it could’ve been daytime with all the lights compared to the speakeasy. She squinted her eyes in distaste, thriving in the dark and wishing she had brought her sunglasses.

Josh was turned away from her so she tapped on his shoulder, wanting his attention. Wanting to see him again. He turned slowly and the look on his cherubic face was troubled. She frowned, about to ask what got his wings in a twist.

A shadow stepped into Josh’s light. His hair was long and messy, in need of a wash. His silver jewelry shined heavy on his tanned chest. His black button up was almost completely open exposing his torso and he held a wide-brimmed black hat loosely in one hand and a guitar case more carefully in the other. His eyes flashed yellow when he spotted Y/N.

She straightened her posture under his gaze and gave him a defiant look. Rori growled, but stayed behind her legs.

Jake ran his tongue over his bottom lip, taking in the woman shaped devil before him. “You must be the new demon in town.”

She tilted her head at him and looked between Josh and Jake. “And you must be your brother’s keeper.”

He took a menacing step closer, narrowing his eyes at his angel of a brother before returning his gaze to her. “Something like that. Now, farewell…or don’t, I don’t care.”

She opened her mouth to speak again but no sound came out.

His eyes flashed again as he turned on his heel and said tersely, a command, “Josh.”

The pair disappeared into fog that had appeared as suddenly as the older demon along the nighttime sidewalk and then she watched it dissipate moments later, leaving no trace of the creatures. The men. The angel and the demon.

to be continued... join the taglist

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builtbybrokenbells · 6 months ago

Text

Little Miss Sunshine | JTK

Amidst a night of high emotion, one single confession turns your whole world upside down, making you realize that you had a certain someone misunderstood all along.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 26k (oops)

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f&m receiving), (sort of) face fucking, cum play, rough sex, also sweet sex, katoptronophilia (mirror sex), mentions/phrases pertaining to free use kink, dom/sub, possessiveness, praise, degradation, name calling, impact play, biting, sir kink, mentions of masturbation (f&m), multiple orgasm (m&f), simultaneous orgasm, overstimulation, begging, lots of dirty talk, lots of making out, dry humping, angst, unrequited feelings, feelings of not being good enough/rejection, overthinking, emotional talks, asshole Jake, drunk confessions, arguing, awkward small talk/conversations, fighting, non-sexual name calling, fluff, drinking, smoking, swearing, crying, sorry if i miss any!

heard you guys wanted some grumpy x sunshine love (this is also kind of bordering enemies to lovers) 🤔 also, this picture is EXACTLY what I picture Jake as in this fic. I was gonna wait to post but I was too excited to work on some other stuff coming very soon 😉. I hope you guys enjoy! As always, be kind and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍 (very lightly edited)

“And then I said to him, try that shit around here, and you’ll see how it works out for you.” The tall blonde man spoke, his tone grating and growing more annoying by the second. He had an irritating smile on his lips as he continued trying his best to impress you with another, mind-numbing story.

“Right,” you nodded, swirling your straw around your drink, trying to sound more interested than you actually were. As you tried to think of something to say, you sucked a sharp breath in through your teeth, letting your eyes dart around the room in search of a familiar face. “I’m sure he kept to himself after that.” You finally replied, trying to up the ante and lessen the impact of your monotone response.

“Yeah, I love messing with the new guys at work. Always keeps them on their toes.” He said, taking a sip of his beer as he looked over your face. As he lowered the bottle from his lips, he seemed to lean even closer than he already was, making you force yourself backwards.

You had no idea how you found yourself in the situation, stuck in conversation with a mediocre man about his mediocre job (which you still weren’t quite sure what it even was) and desperate to find a quick way out. You had come to the stupid party for one reason, and so far, you hadn’t seen him once, despite it being hosted at his own house. As you scanned the crowd for the millionth time, you found yourself growing more impatient than you already were. Your foot tapped against the ground as you checked your watch, wondering if you were already in too deep or if you could slide out the front door without being noticed.

Then, a wave of relief washed over you as you caught sight of a familiar head of brown hair. You threw back the last of your drink, placing the empty cup on the table as you scrambled to refill it with the premixed bottle you brought in your bag. You fumbled with the cap you’d screwed on too tight while listening to the man across from you ramble about an office staff party he’d attended last week, eventually prying it from the top of the juice jug after a moment's struggle. You tipped it forward, filling the solo cup and snatching it off the table after you shoved the jug back in your bag.

You had never seen your best friend's house so full; people were crowding the hallways, nearly standing on top of each other as they tried to force their way into the rooms overflowing with bodies. The music was astonishingly loud, and you definitely weren’t drunk enough to enjoy it yet. Worse than that, you barely recognized a single face in the crowd, and you were desperate to find someone you knew.

“Anyway, it was nice getting to know you, Johnny. I see Sam over there, so I better go say hi.” You forced a blinding smile, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder as you tried to map out the best way around him.

“J-Johnny?” He asked, confusion written all over his face. “My name is Jimmy.” He corrected, his ego bruised at your lack of interest in him.

“Oh, shit.” You swallowed back an awkward laugh, biting down on the inside of your lip as you shuffled to the side. “Jimmy, Johnny… same thing, really. See you around?” You offered, knowing there was no way you would ever allow yourself to be alone with him again, unless you spent days sleepless and were desperate to find something that would lull your mind and force your eyes shut.

You didn’t wait for a response, instead pushing through the crowd as quickly as possible so you didn’t lose sight of your target. With your drink clenched tightly to your chest, you fought your way through the swarm of bodies that seemed keen on blocking the doorway. You extended your arm outward, your fingers brushing over the thin material of Sam’s long sleeved shirt as you grabbed onto his shoulder. His head whipped around, wondering who was touching him and why they were in such a panic to catch his attention. When his eyes landed on you, a blinding smile lit up his face.

“Hey, I was looking for you! Didn’t think you’d make it, Knockout.” He stopped in his tracks, completely changing course and turning towards you. He took a step in your direction, extending his arms outwards and engulfing you in a hug. You breathed a sigh of relief, letting the scent of his familiar cologne wrap you in an embrace warmer than the one his arms provided.

“I’m the guest of honor, ‘course I made it.” You rolled your eyes, pulling away from him slightly. “And I told you to stop calling me that.”

“You’re always the guest of honor at my house.” He grinned, letting his hand linger over your back as he looked over your face. You noticed right off the bat that he reeked of alcohol. His eyes were glazed over, soft and dark as his expression spoke loudly of all you needed to know. He was hammered, and you were very late to the party. “And I think knockout is fitting. A ten who will knock me on my ass if I say the wrong thing.”

“I’d like to be equated to more than a ‘ten’ with a bad temper.” You laughed, slouching down slightly as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t call it a bad temper… more or less a ‘fuck around and find out’ type of person.” He explained further, pulling you tightly into his side as he began to weave through the crowd.

“Yeah, I guess that fits.” You hummed an agreement, happy that you were safely by his side so you no longer had to wander aimlessly and get caught in conversation with people you didn’t know.

“It’s way more crowded than I thought it would be.” Sam noted, talking loud enough so you could hear him over the boom of voices and music.

“Yeah, I certainly wasn’t expecting this.” You laughed, honest about your feelings on the matter. When he invited you, he failed to mention that he invited the entire city of Nashville to the party alongside you.

“Yeah, guess I overestimated the size of the place.” He chuckled. “We’re hanging out downstairs, less crowded and a bit more comfortable.” He said, leading you around the corner to the stairwell. There were a few people standing in the way of the stairs, but they dispersed pretty quickly when they realized the two of you were trying to make your way through.

Sam was your best friend, and had been for years. You met not long after he moved to the city, when you were still in college and keen to the party lifestyle. Through mutual friends, you found yourself sitting in front of him at an album release party for a band that no longer existed, sharing your sentiments about the mediocre music and your love of tequila. From there, the two of you formed a fast friendship, finding you had more in common than a knack for drinking and appreciation for music. You weren’t expecting such a strong relationship to come from a drunken night orchestrated by friends who couldn’t have cared less about you, but you were incredibly grateful that you decided to go.

Since then, you and Sam did nearly everything together when he wasn’t gone on tour. Once you graduated, you found that you lost contact with most people from your university days, but it never seemed to bother you, because Sam was always around to do that, instead. When you were holed up in your house, working from your laptop and too busy to go anywhere, Sam sat beside you, commenting on anything and everything that came to mind. You guys frequented the bars around town, and got lunch when your schedules permitted. Oftentimes, you found yourself dozing off on his couch after a movie night with no intent of staying the night and waking up the next morning with a blanket over you and a pillow under your head.

He was the best friend you’d ever had, and you were thankful for his love every single day. You loved him so much that you couldn’t even refuse his invitations to parties where you knew nobody but him and his brothers, and most times you were glad you went, just so you had another memory to share with him. That night was no different; he was throwing a party just for the sake of it, inviting friends he’d made in the industry and drinking for the sake of being drunk. When he asked you to come, you gave a hesitant reply, knowing that you were bound to be awkwardly standing amongst a swarm of strangers. Within a few days, he’d convinced you it was alright, and eventually you gave in.

That afternoon, you spent an extra amount of time making yourself look nice. You went out the day before and got your hair touched up, and you even bought a new dress. You were feeling a little down, finding yourself in quite the romantic draught that worsened your loneliness as time went on. When you expressed such feelings to Sam, he seemed to make it a point to set you up with some of his company and promised that tonight would end the embarrassingly long bout of involuntary abstinence. Although you were nervous about his choice of company for you, you opened yourself up to the idea, knowing that you wouldn’t have much luck on your own.

It wasn’t that you were deliberately choosing to abstain from dating, but you were having a particularly hard time finding anyone who met your standards and more importantly, your needs. You were growing sick and tired of modern dating, and despised dating apps and all that came along with them. You weren’t in search of a hookup, and you weren’t looking for marriage tomorrow. You wanted someone who you could have fun with, to get to know without it being overwhelming and too much too fast. You wanted someone suitable for your mid-twenties; exciting, compatible, and loyal. Unfortunately, that seemed to be quite hard to come by.

You knew you had a lot to offer. You were kind, funny, and sometimes too nice for your own good. At the same time, you didn’t put up with any bullshit, which made it incredibly hard to open yourself up to someone. You could easily tell when someone only wanted sex, and people like Johnny (or Jimmy; whatever the hell his name was) made it abundantly clear. His lack of self-awareness and his commitment to getting closer to you despite there being no invitation to do so turned you off of him from the minute he began to speak.

On the other hand, because of your guard being up, oftentimes you read a little too much into the situation and ruined things before they could even begin. You were at an impasse, and such a large one that you enlisted Sam’s help to find you a suitor. You were an overly nice person who’d been burned too many times, and you were (as some would say) picky. You barely trusted his judgment, but you figured that you would at least try and open yourself up to his ideas, because you certainly weren’t getting anywhere by yourself.

“You know, I figured that tonight might be a good night for you and Jake to get to know each other.” Sam stated, nearing the bottom of the stairs.

“Jake?” You asked, confused as you followed behind him. You pulled down the skirt of your tight fitting dress, carefully stepping down on the cool wooden floor as you passed the bottom step. “Like, your brother who’s barely given me any inclination that he knows I exist?” You asked, bewildered that Sam would even suggest that. “And when he does, he looks like he’d rather be with anyone else rather than with me?”

“Oh, come on. That’s not true.” Sam chuckled, turning back to face you now that you were on solid ground. The basement was much less crowded than the upstairs, just like Sam had told you. It was nice, allowing you to actually sort out your thoughts before your head was pulled into another direction.

“It is so!” You laughed, taking his response with a grain of salt. You didn’t have complete certainty that Jake felt that way about you, but he definitely didn’t make it a point to try and be friendly. “I get along so well with Josh and Danny, and then there’s him. He never talks to me, and he basically ignores me when I speak first. When he does answer, it’s like, one or two words, and never any kind of emotion. I don’t think he likes me, and that’s fine, but I definitely don’t think we should ‘get to know each other’.”

“The other day you guys talked about the weather!” Sam argued his point, only making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, the weather, Sam. You know, like the most basic of small talk that exists?”

“He seemed really passionate about the sun.” Sam shrugged, reaching out and placing a hand on your back. “Just give it a shot. You never know, right?”

“Sam, if that’s who you’re trying to set me up with, you’ve officially gone insane.” You muttered, letting him guide you towards the group of people huddled by his large arrangement instruments.

“Not insane, and I mean it, Y/N. I think you guys would really get along if you got past the weather. It’s not that you don’t like each other, you’ve just never tried that hard, and neither has he.”

“Yeah, because I’m pretty sure he hates me!” You whisper-shouted, nearing the chattering crowd.

“That’s a strong word,” Sam said, clearly trying to put an end to the argument. “Besides, I already asked him to talk to you tonight, so I guess there’s no real way out of it.” He shrugged, a sly smile forming on his lips as he began to walk away from you.

“Sam!” You exploded, reaching forward and grabbing his hand to hold him in place. “Why would you do that? Now he’s going to feel pressured into talking to me!”

“Listen, Y/N.” he sighed, his lips still holding a ghost of a smile. “Jake won’t feel pressured into talking to you. If he really doesn’t want to, he won’t. Jake does not hate you, and Jake knows you exist. He’s just not the most outgoing. Once he’s out of his shell, I promise you’ll understand what I mean.” You could tell that Sam was genuine in his response, much different to the lighthearted jokes that he spewed prior. You didn’t want to be the bad guy and tell him that you thought his brother was an asshole, so instead you shifted uncomfortably under his strong gaze and gave a single nod of your head.

If Sam wanted you to try so bad, you would, but only because Sam was your best friend.

In truth, it wasn’t like you never thought of Jake in that way. In fact, you thought about it more often than you cared to admit, but you would have been caught dead before confessing it aloud. Most of the fantasies of Jake were contained within your bedroom walls, in the late hours of the night and earliest hours of the morning, and it had little to do with conversing with him and certainly not anything romantic.

Jake was attractive, and that was undeniable; he drew attention from the crowd the minute he walked in the room, and eyes never strayed from him until the moment he walked out. His long hair and his beautiful brown eyes made for a deadly combination, and the slight rasp to his tone when he spoke low and slow sent a rush of emotion straight to the pit of your stomach. The pinkness of his lips, especially when they glistened after his tongue ran over the bottom one, was delicious, and you were all but ignorant to that. He did not talk often, not nearly as much as his company, but when he did, it was always worth listening to, whether it was a joke or something insightful.

Jake's physical appearance had little to do with your apprehensions. If anything, it made you more willing to try out what Sam was asking of you. Although he’d never been outright mean to you, Jake had solidified his impression in your mind over the years; curt, dry, and a little judgemental. His micro expressions that seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else spoke louder than words to you, and he never seemed like he wanted to interact with you at all. He sat on the opposite side of the room from you, avoided your group-pointed topics and questions, avoided being alone with you at all costs, and got out of every one on one conversation with you as fast as he could.

Oftentimes you felt like he was watching you, studying you so he could find something he didn’t like, so then he could be crude and unapologetic about it. His eyes always seemed to land on you as the nights dragged on, and the drunker he got, the more often he stared, but he never spoke. If he wasn’t so attractive, his actions may have been more off putting than curious to you, but even if you felt like he hated you, you definitely didn’t mind his attention being on you.

He was more gruff than Sam and Josh combined, and his resting expression was not the most inviting. He joked with his brothers, but not you directly. Although, whenever he said something to gain a laugh, his eyes always flickered to you, as if he was looking to see if you thought he was funny, too. He was a mystery, but not one you wanted to solve. Every interaction with him led you to believe he was not a fan of you, and every time you tried to analyze it, you only ever found yourself believing it ran even deeper than that.

Still, he was fucking hot, and you hated yourself for being so attracted to someone who couldn’t care less about you.

You followed behind Sam, your cheeks red as you bargained with your embarrassment over the situation. What did Sam actually say to Jake? Was it as innocent as he framed it, or did it go beyond the minimal information he gave you? You weren’t sure you wanted to know, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to speak to Jake at all. In your years of friendship with Sam and the hundreds of times you had been around him, he had never been nice, and you were fairly certain he wouldn’t start now.

You wanted to believe Sam’s explanation of Jake, that he was just a tough nut to crack and you had never been fully committed to knowing him, but it just didn’t seem to check out. You were sure by now, Jake would have shown some idea that he didn’t mind you, or at least that he didn’t hate you, but there was nothing.

Well, except for one small little thing, but it was so long ago that you were sure he’d long forgotten about it.

“Woah, sorry!” Jake exclaimed as the door swung itself open. He took a step back, recoiling from the scene as if he’d just walked in on something explicit and was trying to avoid the awkwardness.

“No, it’s okay.” You muttered, closing your eyes and taking in a deep breath. This interaction was the last thing you wanted to experience in such a state, and you could only look forward to his standoffish nature worsening your already solemn state.

You had changed from your party clothes, the nice new jeans and shirt your sister had bought you for your birthday, which was the whole reason Sam threw you the damn party in the first place. You were in shorts and a t-shirt that hung just above your knees, your face tired and tear-stained as you made a quick move to wipe the dampness from your cheeks. “S’all good, Jake. You can have the bathroom.” You spoke again, a little clearer. The rasp of sadness in your tone was impossible to ignore, and even in his drunken state, he seemed to pick up on it.

You hated your birthday, and you hated that Sam insisted on throwing you a party for it. You wanted to leave, to go home after seeing everyone having such a great time while you were so miserable, but you were too drunk to drive and you would have felt terrible for abandoning Sam when he’d worked so hard to plan this all for you. The gathering was small, filled with people you loved dearly, and drinks were plentiful. Sam went all out with food, decorations, and dessert. You’d never had such an extravagant cake in your life, and you owed him everything for caring about you so much. You were so ashamed of your misery that you felt the need to hide in the bathroom while you cried, just so you didn’t hurt his feelings.

You weren’t sad because of the party, or even because of your birthday in itself. You were upset about the fact that no matter how hard you tried to have fun, something always happened that seemed to ruin the whole day, and this time was no different.

“You okay, Y/N?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing together as he tried to read the situation. You barely looked up at him, feeling another wave of tears well in your eyes. He smelled so distinctly of whiskey, and his normal tough exterior slackened into something you could almost relate to relaxed.

“Yeah, fine.” You nodded, taking a step towards the doorway and expecting him to recoil when you neared him.

“Clearly not, sweetheart.” The pet name struck you as odd, the confusion growing even worse as he stepped in front of you to stop your attempt at escaping. “You’re crying, up here all alone on your birthday. Talk to me.” You finally looked up to meet his face, noticing your body flood with an unfamiliar feeling. There was a type of care in his face that you had never seen from him before, and it made your entire body raise with goosebumps.

“I… I’m alright, I guess.” You said, trying to find a way around confessing your sorrows to him.

“Can I come in?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, sure.” You breathed, nodding and stepping backwards out of his way. Once he was inside the room, he closed the door quietly, leaning against it as he casted his gaze back in your direction. Now that you were locked in a room with him, the smell of alcohol became all the more apparent, and it seemed to be mixed with a sweet scent of an unfamiliar cologne.

“What’s going on?” He asked, standing stagnant by the door as if he was fearful of coming any closer.

“It’s a long story, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s over now.” You shrugged, raising your hand to your face to wipe your face clean of the sadness.

“Is it that guy you were with last time you were here?” He asked, hitting the nail straight on the head without even trying.

“Uh, yeah.” You nodded, surprised he even cared to notice you had company the last time you were around him. Jake had never been overly concerned with your presence, and you barely expected him to care enough to ask if you were alright. “Got in a fight before I came. Said he didn’t have time to come to my ‘stupid birthday party’ with my ‘stupid friends’.” You air quoted the phrases he used, sickened that you even let yourself spend time with someone who thought so little about the people you loved so dearly. “But he wasn’t too busy to party without me, and certainly didn’t mind locking lips with some other girl at the bar.” You explained, remembering the painful picture one of his friends sent through to you. You appreciated the fact that someone was willing to tell you about it, but it didn’t seem to make it hurt any less.

His lips pressed together tightly, the corners turned down into a frown as he digested the information you threw his way. For a second, he seemed as though he wanted to speak, but not long after that he silenced himself before he could get the words out. He swallowed thickly, toying with the ring on his middle finger as he tried his best to think of a response. Eventually, he took a deep breath and spoke words you never expected to hear from him.

“You are far too special to be caught up on someone like that, Y/N.” His tone was strong, leaving no room for doubt that he meant it. “I know it hurts right now, but you have to know that.”

“Thank you, Jake.” You said, your indifference for him melting away momentarily.

“Is it alright if I hug you?” He asked, carefully scanning your face. “Seems like you need it.”

“O-oh,” you breathed, shocked at his question. “Yeah, s’pose I do.” You let out a nervous chuckle. At that, all hesitation left his body and he stepped towards you. Carefully, he pulled you into his arms, his hold firm and the warmth of his body soothing. You let your head rest on his shoulder, trying to ignore the strangeness of the moment and enjoy the comfort. With your face buried in his button-up shirt, you finally had the chance to breathe in the cologne you had only previously caught a faint hint of. It was deep, woodsy and ambery, and it was unfortunately one of the most pleasant things you’d ever experienced.

You could feel his heartbeat, fast and strong as he held you close to him. One hand rested on the back of your head, an extra touch of warmth within his already strange actions. You had never been so close to Jake before, and for some strange reason, you never wanted to let go of him. From the minute he touched you, things seemed okay again, like nothing in the whole world could hurt you so long as he was right beside you.

Just when you felt yourself slipping out of the state of sadness, he pulled away. You found yourself mourning the loss of his touch, sad for a whole new reason as his body parted from yours. He didn’t completely abandon you, though. He let one hand rest on your arm as he used his other to wipe your tears away from your cheeks. With a soft smile, he spoke again.

“Don’t waste your tears on him, sweetheart. When it starts to hurt a little less, you should thank him for it, ‘cause it means someone as great as you won’t be stuck with someone like him.” He paused, ensuring you understood him before he continued. “Now, put a smile on that pretty face and come back downstairs. It’s your day, your friends are down there, and we want you to have a good night. Don’t let him win.”

You thought that maybe after such a sweet moment shared between the two of you, the dynamic might change, that he would warm up to you and a friendship would blossom. Thinking back on your hopefulness, you wanted to laugh in your own face. If anything, after the bathroom escapade, he grew even more distant. He stopped looking at you as often, avoiding your eyes when you looked his way and refusing to even let a chuckle slip when you spewed a joke. His already curt responses grew even shorter, and even less friendly. All of the affection he shared with you disappeared, and he acted as if it never happened at all.

You were ridiculous for expecting change, but disappointed still when you understood that he probably didn’t remember the interaction between you. He was drunk, and so were you, and it didn’t mean anything.

Still, no matter how hard you tried to believe it, it still fucking sucked.

You did everything in your power to get that side of him to surface again, but it only seemed to worsen his withdrawl. The nicer you were to him, the more he pulled away. So, eventually you stopped completely. You stopped going out of your way to build a relationship with him, because it was abundantly clear he wasn’t interested in it.

Funny thing is, when you started pulling away, he began to try.

A few weeks after you stopped talking, he went out of his way to ask you how you were. He lingered in rooms after everyone left, trying to remain inconspicuous as he waited for you to speak to him. His eyes landed on you more often than not, watching you carefully as you spoke to everyone else, waiting to see if you would laugh at his jokes. It was as if he missed you talking to him, even if he was the reason you distanced yourself in the first place.

He was so confusing, and you knew it was best to stay out of it. Even if you did think he was ridiculously attractive, he clearly had no clue how to express himself or any emotion whatsoever. The only thing you regularly saw from him was undesirable personality traits, indifference and annoyance most often, and anger at other times. You knew it wasn’t good for you, that you should stay away because you couldn’t get involved with someone so cold, and you did the best you could. Still, you would be the first to volunteer to kiss that damned scowl off his face, and happy to let him take his anger out on you.

The fact that Sam ever thought the two of you would work was absolutely blasphemous, but if Sam wanted you to try, you would at least give it another shot. Even if it was half-assed, you could still say you gave it your all, and he’d probably believe you.

Sam took one of the two available seats on the couches, far away from you and next to Josh. You felt a stab of pain in your chest as you realized he did so for a specific reason. The only seat left in the room was next to Jake, and as you began to approach, you feared he might get up and walk away as soon as your ass touched the cushion. Keeping your body rigid, you stepped over Danny’s long legs, extended outwards as he leaned back in the couch. You carefully stood between the two, letting the strap of your bag fall from your shoulder and it landed in front of you on the floor. As you sat down, you tucked the bag neatly behind your legs and against the frame of the couch. You let out a small breath of relief, noticing Jake didn’t change his stature at all as you took a seat.

‘Step one: complete.’ You thought to yourself, sipping at your drink to calm your nerves.

How ridiculous it seemed to consider sitting next to Jake a victory. The irony only grew as you remembered that Sam thought the two of you would make a good couple.

Jake had an acoustic guitar sat in his lap, tentatively plucking at the strings as he sat on the very edge of the cushion. You couldn’t help but stare, finding his face devoid of any negative emotion almost alluring. He was so pretty when he focused, the way his hair hung in his face and his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. You strained to hear the light sounds coming from the strings, trying your best to ignore the booming music upstairs in hopes to recognize the tune he was playing. You watched as the tips of his fingers danced over the fretboard, delicate and calculated in every move they made.

Then, the soft hum stopped and his finger stretched across the fretboard to stop any lingering resonance. Your eyes flickered from his hand to his face, seeing that he was already looking at you. Your cheeks burned red as you understood he noticed your staring, and you swallowed back an awkward laugh.

“Hey, Jake.” You forced the greeting through your teeth, flashing a smile in his direction in hopes that the sweetness would deter his usual grumpiness with you.

“Hi.” He responded, his eyes trailing down to the solo cup in your hand. His greeting was short, but you counted it as a victory. Some nights, he never bothered to reciprocate at all, shooting you a pained look instead. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, neither of you knowing what to do or what to say. It was uncomfortable, but you forced the negative thoughts from your head and tried your best to think of a conversation starter. When it was clear he would not be the one to initiate, you spoke again.

“What song was that?”

“Who’ll Stop The Rain.” He replied, his stony expression remaining strong as he looked in your direction.

“CCR,” you nodded, embarrassed you couldn’t pick out the tune from memory. “My dad was a big fan of John Fogerty. Used to put us to sleep with the recordings from Royal Albert Hall.”

“Yeah, pretty good stuff.” Jake nodded, slow and stiff as if he would rather be anywhere other than with you. You took in a long breath through your nose, hoping that you could ease the painful tension between the two of you, but knowing it wouldn’t never happen unless he was willing to try, too.

“Yeah, absolutely.” You nodded too, taking a long sip from your cup.

“What’s your favourite song from them?” He asked, the words almost sounding strained as he asked the question. You fought back an eye roll, thinking it was absolutely ridiculous that he was troubled just to speak to you.

“Green River.” You answered, trying to be more enthusiastic than he was. You were happy he asked the question at all, considering it was probably the first thing he’d ever asked in attempt to get to know you, but his reluctance still stung.

“I like that one, too.” He said, his tone gruff but more friendly than it had ever been (save for the off night in the bathroom), even if the classification was a stretch. Then, he turned his head back towards the guitar, cutting the conversation short. You couldn’t help but feel a dissatisfaction with his actions, wondering why he couldn’t even pretend to enjoy a conversation with you, but you didn’t let it linger for too long.

You let out a sigh, turning your head to the other side of you, seeing Daniel’s smiling face. It was refreshing, and it was a relief to see his expression did not fade as soon as he looked your way. His arm was slung over the back of the couch behind you, his ankles crossed and a beer bottle clutched tightly in his hand. You figured he was an easier target, and a much more enjoyable way to spend your time.

“Hello, Daniel.” You gave him a warm smile as you spoke.

“Was wondering when you’d get here, K.O.” He said, flashing you a toothy smile to match your own.

“What did I tell you guys about calling me that!” You scolded, your tone light and your eyes shining with joy to tell him you didn’t really care all that much.

“If the shoe fits.” He shrugged, chuckling as he took a sip from his bottle. “What have you been up to? Feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I was away for a little while for work, actually.” You said, knowing you couldn’t get too much into it.

“You were away? That’s never good to hear.” He said, a slight grimace on his face. He was right; in social work, time spent away from your office usually meant something bad.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t anything major. They have a shortage of people a few towns over, so I volunteered to fill in for a little while until they could hire someone. I handled a few cases, but it was mostly just to do some paperwork so they didn’t get overwhelmed. I got back a few days ago.”

“You’re a saint for doing a job like that, you know.” He said, his words genuine and prompting a smile on your lips.

“It’s not the easiest job, but I like it.” You explained. “Someone has to stick up for the kids, you know? If their own parents aren’t doing it… then someone has to.”

You could not see it, but Jake’s head was turned as he sat behind you, his ear facing you so he could hear the words you were saying.

“You must be pretty good at it, too. I remember when Sam and I stopped by your office, it was plastered with drawings and colouring pages. Do you keep everything they give to you?”

“Yeah, I do.” You looked down at your hands as a sheepish smile crossed your face. “They always get so excited when they see it up on the walls, so it makes it worth it. Besides, brightens up my day when I see it, too.” You explained, knowing that you had never really thought twice about it; everything any of your clients gifted you was important to you and deserved a spot up on your bulletin board.

Alongside from Sam, your work was the most important thing to you. It was a part of you, and the only reason you and Sam got along so well is because he understood that. Lots of plans were cancelled or rescheduled at the drop of a dime, but he never cared and never made you feel bad about it. Sometimes, you were up at four in the morning, running out the door to the hospital in the early stages of your friendship, but it never deterred him from spending time with you. When you moved to a private company, things grew a little more relaxed and you had a lot more scheduled appointments rather than emergency appointments, but Sam would have stuck around no matter your situation.

“I mean, today someone gave me a yo-yo.” You said, a grin lighting up your face. “I’ve always wanted an excuse to learn those stupid tricks everyone knew how to do in middle school, and now I can.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see that.” Danny let out a laugh, his shoulders shaking and his eyes crinkled with joy just at the thought of it.

“So what about you? What have you been up to?” You asked, growing tired of talking about you and eager to hear what he’d been up to.

“The same old, really. I went home and visited my family for a few days, so that was nice.” He said, knocking back the last of his drink and grabbing another from the box by his feet.

“That is nice!” You exclaimed, a warm smile encasing your lips. “I know you don’t get to see them all that often, so it must have been really good to go home.”

“It was,” he agreed, nodding at the thought.

“How’s your sister doing? I know she was stressed out about the last semester of school the last time we talked.”

“Good! She passed with no problem, worried about nothing as per usual.” He responded, almost wowed by how much attention you paid to him when he spoke.

“And that girl you were talking to… Sarah?” You asked, nervous you might have gotten the name wrong. He gave a nod, reassuring you that you got it right. “How’s that going?”

“Good! She couldn’t make it tonight, but I think it’s headed somewhere. Hopefully, at least.” He shrugged, trying to make it seem like it was less important to him than it was.

“I’m sure it will. I’m happy for you.” You smiled. Just as he was about to respond, Sam shouted his name from across the table, pulling him in a completely different direction. You didn’t pay much mind to it, settling comfortably back in your seat as Sam resumed an earlier conversation with the boy beside you.

You settled back into your seat, finding yourself content without feeling the need to be caught in conversation. You sipped at your drink, noticing your cheeks begin to turn rosy as the tipsiness started to set in. Your skin was warm, your mind swimming with thoughts that pertained to nothing important. You tucked your foot underneath your knee, relaxing into the position as Sam gave you a reassuring smile across the table. You gave him a small wave in return, finding the mixed drink in your cup taste better the longer you worked at it.

Some time passed, but nothing too interesting ensued. No further words were shared between you and Jake, but you did occasionally find yourself talking across the table with Sam, and a few times you were leaned over close to Danny to hear him over the chattering crowd and loud music. Then, something incredibly familiar reached your ears, the sound soothing as it drifted from the guitar in Jake’s lap and over towards you. The twang was different, a little more calm as he played on the acoustic, but it was still just as good.

Green River.

You turned your head towards him, smiling as you watched his fingers pluck the strings. You bit your tongue, tempted to sing along but knowing it likely wouldn’t help the lingering tension between you and the boy. Your gaze flickered to his face, curious to see his expression as he played the song you very clearly expressed your enjoyment of. To your surprise, he was looking at you, and the usual scowl on his face had softened into an almost smile.

He wanted to know if you liked it, almost excited at the prospect of impressing you with the song.

Perhaps Sam was right, and you hadn’t tried hard enough to get to know him. You weren’t committed enough to getting through the tough exterior, because in that moment, you saw a tiny glimpse of the Jake you saw that night in the bathroom. His eyes were warm, glimmering with curiousity as he continued to strum the tune. Maybe he wasn’t so against knowing you, but rather needed some common ground so he could get his footing.

No matter the reasoning, you could go along with it, because without the cold undertones in his expression, he was a million times more attractive than he’d ever been before. The liquor in your cup was strong, definitely encouraging your thoughts about his pretty face, but as he played a song you remembered from the happiest days of your childhood, it struck something within you that he’d never touched before.

“Sing it.” Jake encouraged, his voice just loud enough for you to hear as he played the intro a second time through. You thought you misheard him, unable to believe he was really initiating such a fun moment that involved both of you, together. Even as you tried to discredit it, his eyes told you otherwise, imploring you to do as he asked.

“Well, take me back down where cool water flow,” you began, knowing your intoxication had everything to do with your courage. You worried that he would change his mind, or regret asking you to do so, but as you finished he played the little riff that followed, a genuine smile beginning to blossom on his lips.

“Let me remember things I love, Lord

Stoppin' at the log where catfish bite

Walkin' along the river road at night

Barefoot girls dancin' in the moonlight.” You sang the verse, growing more comfortable when Sam joined in along the way. By the time you finished the last line, Danny was leaned in close behind you, also belting the lyrics alongside you.

Then, the most shocking part of it all came about when Jake led you back into the second verse. He joined in, happily singing along with the three of you as if it were a completely normal thing for him to do.

“Fuck yeah, Jake!” You exclaimed, seeing his eyes brighten at your drunken cheer. For a single moment, things felt normal. They felt right, with you cheering him on and him trying not to laugh at your antics, like it was meant to be that way all along.

Maybe Sam was right, and the two of you could click well, even after all the time spent ignoring each other.

He led himself into a small guitar solo, seemingly trying to show off as he slammed the pick down on the strings. You clapped along, a blinding smile lighting up your face as you watched him do what he loved most. You couldn’t help but admire how stunning he looked, his pink lips slightly damp from his tongue running over them while he focused. The blush of his cheeks under the lowlight, and his dark lashes casting the tiniest of shadows under his eyes. He was beautiful, and you couldn’t seem to pull yourself away from him.

You were so immersed in his enigmatic nature that you failed to sing along with the group when the third verse rounded. Stunned and slightly nervous that someone had caught you amidst the impromptu staring contest, you cleared your throat and joined in with the singing, only slightly less enthusiastic. When the song finished, you were breathless and in a mess of jumbled thoughts, but it had nothing to do with the singing you were doing. Before Jake could say anything to you, you downed the last of your drink, reaching into your bag to refill the cup. You knew you would need the courage, especially now that the relationship between you seemed to hit a pivotal moment.

When you straightened back up in your seat, you sipped from the rim of the cup to lower your chances of spilling it all over yourself. Your eyes flickered to the man beside you, but to your dismay, he wasn’t looking at you at all. The smile faded from your lips as you quickly tried to cover up your growing disappointment, wondering if you were an idiot for thinking the two of you might be more comfortable speaking. You waited for a moment, just to see if he would initiate something, but you were met with nothing once again.

You were an idiot, and for more reason than just that. You were ridiculous for believing that he would be interested with you, in all of his blinding beauty and amidst the rockstar lifestyle. He had girls falling at his feet, prettier and with more to offer than you had. You were breaking your own heart by entertaining the feeble idea Sam planted in your mind, and you needed to realize the truth of the matter.

Still, a small fizzle of hope existed within your chest, and you thought you would give it one last shot.

“That was really good, Jake. Thank you for playing it for me.” You said, keeping your tone sweet and the look in your eyes warm despite the blossoming uncertainty in your stomach.

“What? I didn’t play it for you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth at the speed of light, defensive and with little thought put into them. As if he saw the breaking of your heart before his own eyes, he softened slightly, realizing that his words were too harsh, even for his normal brooding self. “I played it for myself, too. I love that song.” He added, hoping that it would lessen the blow. You could tell he only said it to feel like less of an asshole, and it only worsened your already bruised feelings.

You could feel an unfamiliar feeling rising in your chest, one that craved conflict. You thought that if you handed his rudeness back to him, he’d learn his lesson and realize how terrible he’d been to you over the years of knowing him. You wanted a fight, to figure out the real reason behind his dislike for your company, and you needed it now. If he hated you, you wanted him to come clean and say it. You were sick of trying to start a friendship with someone who only ever made you feel like shit about it.

Then, before the accusations could leave your lips, he spoke again, but you would have preferred him not to say anything at all.

“Heard it’s supposed to be really nice out, tomorrow.” He forced the weather forecast through his teeth, rubbing salt into an already lethal wound.

“Perfect,” your lips pulled together tightly, forcing some semblance of a smile as you nodded your head. “You know, we don’t have to talk about the weather every fucking time we speak, Jake.” He seemed to physically recoil from your nasty tone, seemingly never expecting something even slightly vicious to leave your tongue.

“Okay, what else would you like to talk about, Y/N?” He asked, a hint of condescension in his words. You rolled your eyes, long past furious with his blatant rejection of your presence.

“Maybe one of the fifteen other topics I’ve tried to talk about with you?” You offered the alternative like it never crossed his mind at all. “You know what? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter.” You shook your head, understanding you were preparing to fight a losing battle. When it came to anything negative, Jake was always going to come out on top.

“What, did Little Miss Sunshine finally hit her breaking point? Is this the first time you’ve ever been angry, sweetheart? ‘Cause it wouldn’t fuckin’ surprise me.”

“Fuck off, Jake.” You huffed, leaning forward and grabbing your bag from between your legs. “Like I said, fucking forget about it.”

Just as you did so, Danny leaned towards you in an instinctive reaction to someone playfully pushing him by the arm of the couch. His shoulder collided with your back, causing you to lurch towards Jake and at the same time, your full solo cup to slip from your fingers. As you tried to recover from the strong (and irritatingly painful) collision between your back and Danny’s shoulder, you barely noticed the liquid that had spilled from your hands onto the couch, and unluckily, Jake’s leg.

Before you could process all that happened in such a short time, you heard Danny’s profuse apologies from over your shoulder, but not well over the boom of Jake’s voice.

“Christ, Y/N!” He exclaimed, raising the guitar from his lap as he made a move to stand. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Watch what you’re fucking doing, next time!”

His words, equal to a million stabs in the chest, seemed to snap that little rational part of your brain you tried to desperately hold on to when in his company. Instead of an angry outburst, you felt tears well in your eyes, finally fed up with his irrationally irate attitude towards you. You tried to muster an ‘I’m sorry’, but every time the words began to make their way through your throat, your muscles constricted around them. Instead, you grabbed your things, in a hurry to get out of there and never come back. Before you were on your feet, tears spilled over on your cheeks, and your face felt like it was on fire. Your heart was thumping so fast and hard you could feel it in every part of your body, and your throat ached to cry out.

Why didn’t he like you?

What did you do to deserve such miserable treatment?

Why couldn’t he just pretend to tolerate you, instead of making it blatantly obvious to everyone how much he hated you?

You clutched your empty cup and your bag tightly to your chest as you stepped over Danny’s legs, your vision blurred with tears you refused to let Jake see as you rushed away from the group. By the time you made it to the stairs, you knew you would be alright, so long as you didn’t come face to face with him again. You clambered to the top of the stairwell, pushing through bodies in search of the front door. You were desperate for air, just for a breath of relief to help you forget about his venomous tone. When your fingers clasped around the doorknob, you instantly felt better. You pulled it open, stepping foot into the yard and away from the chaos.

The porch was near vacant aside from the couple engaging in a handsy makeout session a few feet away, but not even they seemed to notice you. You pulled the skirt of your dress down as you stepped forward, crouching down until your ass hit the wooden step. You released your hold on the short dress, stretching your legs out as you adjusted to a more comfortable position on the stair. You let your hand run through your hair, your fingers catching on knots as you combed through the mess of loose curls. You let out a shaky sigh, wiping the tears away from your cheeks as you let your eyes flutter closed.

You wouldn’t let him get the best of you, even though it was so easy for him to do it. You were better than his short fuse and lack of regard for your feelings, and you wouldn’t feed into the fire he created. As much as you wanted to yell, to call him out on his ridiculous behavior, it wasn’t you. You weren’t angry; you were bubbly, happy and outgoing, and you adored making new friends. You were a social worker who loved children because of their unusual glee despite being in horrible situations. You loved it so much, because that’s who you were. You loved being happy, the light shining in darkness even when you should be miserable and sad. You liked being that beacon of light for others, and you made it a point to remember small details so nobody ever felt forgotten.

You were kind hearted and free spirited, and you loved to love. You wouldn’t let him take that away from you, in all of his gruff grumpiness and dark brooding eyes. You were human, and everyone likes to be liked, but you didn’t care anymore. If he wanted to dislike you, that was fine, because you loved being you and you didn’t care to change for anyone. If he didn’t like your behavior, your desperation to see the best in everything and your constantly joyus nature, he was the one losing, not you. You wouldn’t bend your own boundaries to make someone like him happy.

The door creaking open behind you pulled you from your thoughts, making you peek over your shoulder to investigate the disturbance. You were met with a sight for sore eyes, the pure chaos of the moment putting a smile on your face despite your own internal struggles. Sam was stumbling towards you, his eyes heavy and glossy as he clutched a beer bottle tight in his hand. He was positively hammered, and you could tell with every step he took.

His stare landed on you, like he was a predator in search of prey. His hand holding the bottle raised, his index finger straightening and pointed in your direction. “Was looking for you, knockout. You’re fast.”

“You’re drunk, Sam.”

“Pshh,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.” He took a few unsteady steps towards you, placing his hand against the railing to steady himself as he sat down beside you.

“I love you, you know.” You smiled, hugging your knees to your chest as you rested your chin atop of them.

“I love you, Y/N.” He slurred, the smell of alcohol radiating from him. In some strange way, drunken Sam had always secretly been your favorite, mostly because of his unapologetic nature when it came to the tellings of his heart. “You’re the best friend ever, you know. Like the best. Couldn’t imagine life without you.” He rambled, slinging his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to him. “You’re always so sweet and kind, and you make the best cookies, and you come to my stupid parties and talk to my stupid brother, even when you don’t want to. There’s nothing wrong with you, Princess. Don’t listen to him, ‘cause he’s stupid.” He reiterated the same sentiment, causing a small giggle to fall from your lips.

“F’course I show up to your parties, Sammy.” You whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder. He smelled familiar, giving you a sense of home you couldn’t find anywhere else. “Wouldn’t imagine life any other way.”

“And everyone loves you, Y/N. Josh, and Danny, and even Jake. ‘Specially Jake.” He hiccuped, smiling at the thought. The apples of his rosy cheeks were so soft in the moonlight, the sight heartwarming and forcing a smile onto your cheeks, too.

“No, I don’t think he does, Sammy boy, and that’s okay.” You whispered, gazing up at the stars and living in the sweetness of this moment rather than the bitterness of the one you shared with Jake.

“No, don’t think you get it, Princess.” He chuckled, his head toppling over onto yours as he heaved a large breath. He was caught in a nasty bout of hiccups, and his movements were all sloppy and loose. You were beginning to realize he was much more intoxicated than even you perceived him to be, and you were going to have to get him inside and to bed soon. “I can’t tell you, cause he wouldn’t like that, but he likes you, Y/N, wholeee hell of a lot.” He put the extra emphasis on the words to ensure you took him seriously. You laughed at his words, his oxymoronic statement, and the tone in which he said it.

“Sure, Sam.” You chuckled, pulling away from him slightly. You immediately missed the comfort of his touch, but you knew it was for the best. “Why don’t we get you upstairs, honey? Maybe a glass of water?”

“You think?” He asked, squinting at the porch light as he turned to look at you. His expression was challenging, but you both knew you’d win the fight.

“I know, Sam.” You gave him a soft smile. “Come with me?”

“Okay.” He huffed, nodding in agreement. “You’re staying tonight, right? Don’t want you… driving home…” there was a lull in his tone, and you noticed his eyes drooping lower the longer he spoke. “Jake’s an idiot, want you to stay, even if you’re mad at him… please?”

“Of course I’ll stay, love.” You promised, rising to your feet after ensuring you had a firm grip on his arm. “Come on, stand up for me.” You urged, pulling him only slightly from his sitting position.

“Kay,” he let out a shallow sigh, helping you only slightly as you pulled him to his feet. As soon as he was standing, he stumbled forward into you, and you wrapped your arms around him to keep him upright.

“Easy, honey.” You hummed, only slightly intimidated under his body weight.

‘You’ve got this. Get him upstairs and into bed. You can do it.’ You repeated to yourself, carefully moving your grip so you had one arm securely around his torso.

“Come on, Sammy. Help me out here.” You pleaded, taking a step towards the door. He seemed to be growing more tired by the second, and you worried that you would not be able to support his weight if he grew any more lax in your arms. He stumbled forward, uttering nonsense about his love for you as you desperately tried to get him to the door. You figured if you at least got him inside, someone would be around to help you out with the rest.

You felt your legs quivering under his and your own weight, but you managed a few more steps forward until you were just shy of reaching the doorknob. As you ushered him forward, you reached a shaky hand out for the door, only to find someone else already opening it for you. You looked upwards, relief flooding your features until your gaze landed on the body in the doorway.

“Let me help.” Jake grumbled, stepping forward to join the two of you.

“It’s fine, Jacob. I’ve got it.” You snapped, taking another step forward.

“Clearly not, sweetheart. Quit being so fucking stubborn.” He argued, taking post at Sam’s other side as he guided his arm over his shoulder.

“Jake!” Sam exclaimed, a lazy smile crossing his face as he recognized his brother's familiar face. “Y/N, this is my idiot brother Jake. Have you met before?” Sam looked in your direction, sending you a lazy smile and a sloppy wink. You stifled a giggle as you tightened your hold around him.

“Hey, brother. Let’s get you to bed.” He chuckled, anchoring his own arm around Sam’s back alongside yours.

Deciding it was for the best, you let Jake help you with the daunting task. Together, the journey was much less treacherous, and you had him upstairs in no time. In Sam’s bedroom, you and Jake eased your hold on him as he sat down in his bed, his eyes threatening closed as he slumped down onto the mattress.

“I’ve got it from here, thanks.” You snipped, brushing past Jake to grab a trash can, just in case Sam started to feel sick.

“He’s my brother, Y/N. I can take care of him.” He shot back, fixing the pillows so Sam could lay down.

“We’ll he’s my best friend, and I’m not fucking leaving him.” You huffed, helping Sam lay down on his side so he would not fall asleep on his back.

“Guess you’ll just have to deal with it, then, cause I’m staying too.” He rolled his eyes, plopping down on an armchair in the corner of the room.

“Great.” You muttered, fixing the blankets as Sam fought with the buttons on his shirt. “You okay, honey? I can help.” You offered, noticing his particularly annoyed expression as he couldn’t complete the task he’d set out to do. “Can you get him some water, Jacob?” You asked, a little more curt than you intended, but neglecting to feel remorseful about it.

“Why don’t you go, and I’ll get him out of his shirt?” Jake offered, malice fleeing him temporarily in hopes the arrangement might be more comfortable for you.

“Fine.” You sighed, stepping away from the bed and back into the hallway. A quick trip downstairs and one bottle of water later, you were back at Sam’s bedside, trying to get him to sip away at a hydrating alternative to the beer he was drinking all night.

You sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Sam relaxed against the mattress and melted into the pillows. Carefully, you reached out and brushed his hair from his face, gathering it in your hands as you slipped an elastic around it from your wrist. You couldn’t help but smile as he began to softly snore, a sure sign he was out for the night.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Jake said, his tone strong and startling you as you pulled your eyes away from Sam.

“For what?”

“For caring so much about him.” He shrugged, showing you a glimpse of himself as he professed his gratitude. “He’s my brother. Means a lot to me that you love him so much.”

“Don’t need to thank me for it.” You shrugged. “Hard not to. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.” The two of you fell into a silence for a moment, the tension in the air thick and uncomfortable. You wondered if he would apologize, rectify the harsh words he’d thrown your way, or if maybe tonight would be the night he finally confessed how much he hated you. Or, maybe it was neither of those things, and the night would take the worst turn of all; the two of you sitting there, caring for a drunken Sam in awkward silence and sharing occasional words. Perhaps you could even talk about the weather.

“So when are you two gonna tie the knot?” Jake asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched you carefully.

“What?” You asked, looking over at him with confusion written all over.

“Everybody’s thinking it. We’re just waiting for you to get on with it.” He said, his gaze never leaving your face, almost as if he was challenging you.

“I don’t like Sam like that, Jake. He doesn’t feel that way about me, either.” You were firm with your response, ensuring he understood that.

“Right.” He whispered, muttering something under his breath you couldn’t quite catch. Your eyebrows furrowed, curious about his words but unsure if you even cared enough to ask. You turned back to Sam, running a gentle hand over his arm as he slept soundly. As you did so, you could feel Jake’s eyes burning into you, making you shift uncomfortably in your position. Eventually, it became too much to ignore, and your head turned towards him again.

“What is your problem?” You asked, stronger than you intended.

“Nothing,” he defended himself, his lips turned down into a frown. “Am I not allowed to look at you?”

“Why would you want to?” You rolled your eyes, looking away from his face. You found it much harder to stay angry with him when you couldn’t stop thinking about how attractive he was. He opted not to respond to the topic at hand, but instead moved back to a previous one.

“Why don’t you and Sam get together?”

“Jesus, what does it matter?” You asked, answering his questions with more. You weren’t keen on discussing your romantic relationships with a man who barely cared enough to notice your presence in a room, and you definitely weren’t willing to discuss your relationship with Sam with him.

“You wanted me to talk, so I’m talking!” He argued, keeping his voice hushed so he would not wake his brother.

“Yeah, I wanted you to talk three years ago, Jake.” You laughed, shaking your head as you did so, but the situation was not funny to you. You couldn’t believe him, and he continually managed to surprise you with his offputting comments and his vague remarks. “I wanted to know you, but you’ve made enough of an impression already, and that ship has sailed.”

“I’m talking now, Y/N.” He tried again, his voice softer but still seemed standoffish.

“I don’t want you to, Jake.” You clarified, realizing you’d rather sit in silence or talk about the sunny skies, now. “I don’t care. I used to get upset because all you wanted to talk about was the weather, but I get that it is the only thing we have in common.” You stood, knowing you needed to take a step away from the situation before you exploded.

He was so good at getting under your skin, so different and so irritating. He ignored every one of your attempts at getting to know him, and you were over it. He didn’t get to be an asshole for so long and then suddenly change his mind about it, like he got to call the shots. The ball was in your court, and you weren’t willing to give him the time of day anymore.

“Wait,” he pleaded, holding his hand out to stop you from walking out on him. Ignoring his plea, you pushed past him, stepping towards the door with no intent on stopping. “Y/N, please.” He stood, reaching out to grab your arm so you could not leave.

“What, Jake?” You snapped, turning on your heel to face him. “Unless you’re going to tell me what your issue is, I have no interest in talking to you about anything.” There was a fire in his eyes unfamiliar to you, so different than the pained, distant expression he often adorned when looking in your direction.

“My issue is you!” He said, never dropping his hold on your wrist. It wasn’t tight, far from painful, but it was exhilarating. His skin on yours felt fantastic, even if he was an asshole.

“See? Was it that hard to finally fucking say it?” You fumed. “Just say you hate me, Jake. It’ll be so much easier for both of us!”

“It is hard, because I don’t hate you!” He confessed, taking you by complete surprise. “I couldn’t hate you, ever. Trust me when I say, I’ve fucking tried!”

“You don’t?” You asked, your knitting together in confusion. “Then what is your issue with me?”

“I don’t have an issue with you, Y/N. It’s me. It’s my problem.”

“Tell me Jake, please. I’ve spent so long wondering what I did to make you not like me, and I need to know.” You pleaded, your anger dissipating as you realized you finally might get an answer to the one question that constantly plagued you.

“Can we… Can we go somewhere else? Please?” Jake sighed, looking over his shoulder at his sleeping brother.

“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, stepping backwards and out of the room. He stayed close to you, ensuring Sam was alright before he closed the door behind him.

You led him down the hallway, turning into the guest bedroom that had become your very own. You stepped inside first, staying near the door as he walked in behind you. He knocked the door shut as he passed it, the music still booming downstairs and the crowd still plentiful despite the night changing into the early morning hours. You turned to face the boy, finding him already looking at you. His gaze was uncomfortable, especially knowing that there was so much unsaid between the two of you.

“So, what is it, Jake?” You asked, your arms loosely crossed over your chest as you tried to hide yourself under his stare. Now that the two of you were alone, your skimpy dress felt all the smaller, and you were self conscious knowing his eyes were drinking in every detail.

“I’ll tell you, but I need you to answer me first. Is there anything going on between you and Sam?” He asked, his palms pressed together and his fingers extended outwards, pointing towards you as he spoke.

“No, Jake. Not that it’s your business, but Sam and I are just friends; it’s always been that way, and it always will be.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” You stressed the point. “Why does this have anything to do with you not liking me?”

“It has everything to do with it, because I do like you!” He exploded, the sudden shift taking you by surprise. You recoiled at the strength of his words, watching him in shock for a moment.

“What are you angry about?” You asked, unable to piece together his erratic behaviour. His head fell back on his shoulders, a groan leaving his lips as he struggled to speak. It seemed as if his thoughts were plaguing him and he wanted to do anything other than confess them.

“I do like you, sunshine, and a lot more than you think.” He explained, drawing in a long breath and stepping towards you. “I like you too much, and I am a fucking idiot for treating you so badly, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Talk to me, Jake. Tell me what’s wrong, and we can work it out, together.” You pleaded, a shred of sympathy for the man taking hold despite all of your anger.

“See? That’s why, because after three years of me being a dick, you’re still trying to be nice to me!” He exclaimed, appalled at your concern and constant attempts to help fix things. “You should be yelling, or calling me names, or walking away, but you’re not.” He stressed the fact, hoping you understood what he meant.

“Is that what you want me to do?” You asked, confused by his response.

“No, I don’t want—“ he cut himself off, realizing how harsh and condescending the words sounded. “I love you, Y/N, and that’s why I can’t fucking talk to you, because I know I shouldn’t!” You were stunned, taken back by his bold confession and unsure how to respond to it. Your eyes widened, your lips parted as you breathed in his bare honesty hanging in the air. “I’ve spent three years falling for you, and it fucking kills me, but I can’t get you out of my head. Your perfect smile, and that cute little laugh, and the fact you care about everyone and everything, no matter what. You take care of all of us, all of the time. You’re funny, you’re smart, and you are way out of my league.”

You were so shocked at his confession that you forgot to breathe for a moment, and the fact he thought you were out of his league was laughable. You were in such a state that you didn’t think your actions through before responding, and an actual laugh fell from your lips. As soon as the sound reached your ears, your hand instinctively raised and clamped over your mouth, horrified that you made the sound in the first place. A flash of hurt crossed his face, the small expression telling you he regretted speaking at all. The laugh cut deep, but he was misunderstanding the intent behind it.

“You know what? Never mind. Pretend I never said anything at all.” He muttered, stepping towards the door.

“No, Jake.” You stepped forward, this time to stop him from leaving. “I’m not laughing at you.” You promised, your cool hand landing on his noticeably warm biceps. The soft fabric of his shirt felt good on your fingers, and an unfamiliar feeling blossomed in the pit of your stomach. “It’s just… I spent so long thinking you hated me. It’s a lot to take in. You have to understand that.” His eyes flickered back to you, then down to your hand on his arm. There was no longer any malice in his face, the softness of his features all the more alluring now that his defences were down. “Just… work with me, please?”

“Okay.” He whispered, turning back towards you slowly.

“I just… I think that you believing I’m out of your league is funny, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.” You explained, your voice quiet. The two of you were closer than you’d ever been, the heat of his body radiating from him. The sweet, intoxicating smell of his cologne you remembered so fondly from the night in the bathroom hit you with full force, skewing every one of your morals the longer you breathed it in. The drunken, desperate part of you was almost willing to forgo any tough conversation and have your way with him then and there, but you managed to stave off the urge for a little longer. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why would I, Y/N?” He asked, frustrated by the thought, but much more calm now that he understood your feelings a bit better. “Why would I try to pursue you, when we both know that I’m no good for you?”

“No good for me?” You asked, inching closer to him in hopes you wouldn’t have to give up the contact with him.

“Yeah,” he nearly scoffed the word. “No good for you. Think about it, sweetheart. You are a ray of sunshine, all of the time. You light up a room wherever you go, and everyone falls in love with you without even trying. You’re a social worker, for gods sake. You’re so good that you help people for a living, with no benefit to yourself. You remember the small details, you never make anyone feel left out or forgotten. You’re good, and I’m not. I treated you like shit for three years because I couldn’t let myself drag you down with me. I didn’t want to do that to you, but I had to.”

“What are you talking about, Jake? You wouldn’t be dragging me down at all.” You wished he would hear how ridiculous his words sounded, but he was stubborn, and you knew that for a fact.

“I’m miserable. I’m mean, and I’m snarky when I don’t even want to be. I’ve got a temper, and I say things I shouldn’t. You don’t deserve someone like that. You deserve someone who’s just as happy as you are, who puts out just as much good in the world. You’re waking up at three in the morning to go to the hospital and help out a family in need, and I’m just passing out drunk on someone’s couch. You help people, and I hurt people, even when I don’t want to. You don’t deserve that, Y/N, and I can’t do that to you. I bit my tongue because I wanted you to fall in love with someone who could make you happy.” He explained, his drunken ramblings tugging at your heartstrings.

“Jake,” you whispered, your hand tightening on his arm to pull his attention towards you. Now that he started, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from talking. All that he held back for so long was finally surfacing, and it didn’t seem to want to slow.

“I wanted you to fall in love with Sam, because you two are great for each other. It would have sucked, but I know that you deserve someone who can love you like that. I hate myself for pushing you so far away, but I had to, for you. I didn’t want you to get involved with me, because you are too bright and shiny, and I’m a little bit broken. I don’t know how to love, I’m not good at it, and you should be with someone who can give you the world.”

“Hey.” You said, firm as you dropped your hold on his arm. You reached up, taking his cheeks between your hands and forcing him to look at you. “You don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to choose who is good for me and who isn’t, Jacob.” You said, swallowing hard as his brown eyes seemed to be staring into your soul. “You’re not broken, and you’re not bad, Jake. I’ve seen it before, and I’m seeing it right now. You have a big heart, and you care so much, even if you aren’t the best at showing it.” You breathed, looking over his face. Your heart was beating fast, your chest a mess of emotions you’d never quite felt before in your life. You were angry, confused, but also incredibly happy to finally hear the truth coming from his lips. You were oddly attracted to him in the moment, and you finally felt like the two of you were on the same page.

“I don’t like Sam that way, because I’m not looking for someone bright and shiny. I’m looking for someone who makes me feel something, and you do, and you always have. Why do you think I’m still trying so hard? After this long, I still want to be around you, and I still want to talk to you. I like being bright and shiny, and I like helping people. That’s who I am, and I can’t change that, but there’s nothing wrong with you, Jake. You said you’re ‘bad’, but how could you be? You spent three years putting me before you, because you didn’t want to hurt me.” You explained, begging for him to see reason. “What you just said to me, about how you feel… Jake, nobody’s ever said anything like that before. Nobody’s ever cared like that before.”

“I do care, and I definitely don’t hate you. I had to push you away, because every time I see you, I want to tell you how badly I need you. I tried so hard to get over you, but I can’t get you out of my fucking head.” At that, his hands raised to your hips, drawing you closer to him as he spoke.

“I’m not asking you to, Jake.” You said, your head spinning from the feeling of his hands on you. It felt so good, so unlike anything you’d ever felt before. Your hands were still on his cheeks, his face unbearably close to your own. After hearing everything he had to say, it made sense. All of the staring, his avoidance of being alone with you, the sweet moment in the bathroom. “I like you, in all of your grumpiness. I think you’re funny, and smart, and you are incredibly talented. I like that you play songs for me on the guitar, even if you don’t want to admit it, and I love that you love me so selflessly. You don’t get to decide if you’re no good for me, and you don’t get to force me to fall in love with someone else, because right now, I’m quite interested in knowing what it’s like to love you.”

“You can’t just say stuff like that, sweetheart.” He warned, his tone gravelly as his heart began to beat solely for you, for the moment you were sharing.

“I’m not just saying it. I mean it. After all this time, I’m still here, listening to everything you have to say.”

“I did play that song for you. I wanted to see you smile.” He confessed, almost pained at how badly he needed to see the joy written over your face. “I wanted to hear you sing it. I wanted you to sit next to me. I want it all, Y/N, all of the god damn time. I want you, but I don’t know how to do it right.”

“We can work on that part, because I want you too, Jake. I can’t walk away from you after you said all of that, because I don’t think I’ll every find anyone else quite like you. I don’t care if you’re grumpy, and I don’t care if you have a hard time showing how you feel. You’re not broken, and you’re not bad for me.” You felt your lips upturn into a small smile, noticing the blush of his cheeks and all of the small details you never had the chance to admire.

There was a splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose, like a constellation gracing his tanned skin. His brown eyes were even more breathtaking up close, and the fullness of his lips were more tempting than they’d ever been. You wanted to lean forward, to taste the sweetness he’d been withholding from you. The stony expression you’d grown so used to finally melted away, and you could see why he always adorned it while around you. Now that his cover was blown, the mask was gone, and he was looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes.

He was still hesitant, nervous about tainting the perfection you carried around with you. He didn’t want to dim your light, and he didn’t want to hurt you anymore.

“Stop pushing me away, Jacob. I don’t want to be anywhere else, or with anyone else.” You whispered. “I don’t want to walk away and forever wonder what it would feel like to love you. I can’t keep replaying ‘what if’s’ in my head for the rest of my life, and I don’t want that for you, either.”

“I’m not good at this stuff, sweetheart.”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try.” You offered, gravity pulling your face closer to his. Your nose was brushing his own, the smell of whiskey on his breath apparent and inviting. You weren’t sure what he was doing to you, but you’d never been so overcome with emotion in your entire life. “I don’t need someone bright and shiny, Jake. I need someone that balances me out. I need you.” His grip on your hips tightened, the breath catching in his throat at the three little words he’d been longing to hear since he first laid eyes on you.

“You mean it?” He asked, raising one eyebrow in inquiry as he ensured you were certain about everything you said. He didn’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret it, realizing you drank too much and that he was too much.

“I mean it, Jake. I need you.” You stressed your point, desperate for him to close the gap between your mouths and finally give you the satisfaction of kissing him. Many nights you spent awake in bed, angry about his behavior and unbelievably turned on at how much you liked it. You hated yourself for being attracted to his behavior, but now that it made sense, you didn’t need to feel that way ever again. All the shame was gone, dissolving into one, unbearable, undying need for him.

The two of you clicked, better than anyone else ever had before. Even when you were arguing, short with each other and trying your best to stay away, there was always something. Whether it be a lingering stare, an accidental touch, or a sweet moment when you least expected it, he never failed to capture your attention and you couldn’t seem to pull yourself away. He was infuriating, but you always seemed to come back for more, unable to refute his beauty and unable to resist the urge to know him. You couldn’t stand the idea of him disliking you, because you so badly wanted him to feel the same way about you. You wanted him to be caught up on you, curious about you and desperate to know more. You wanted him to be drawn to you in the same way, and you couldn’t handle him pushing you aside because your interest in him was driving you crazy.

“Say it one more time?” He asked, his lips just barely brushing over your own as he spoke.

“Please, Jake. I need you to kiss me.” You repeated, stronger than the last. Before the last word fully left your mouth, his lips were on yours and he was pulling you into him by your hips.

With your body pressed against his own, you felt all of the tension between the two of you finally subside. His lips were locked with yours, finally getting the satisfaction he’d been craving for so long. Your hands held his face, the touch tender and telling of your enjoyment. The tips of your fingers were tangled in the strands of his hair, the soft chestnut locks twisted around your fingers in a way you only ever imagined they would be. The taste of him on your tongue was addicting, even more so as his tongue swiped over your bottom lip, begging you to let him take it further. You parted your lips for him, feeling his tongue quickly take advantage of the opportunity you had given him.

He tasted as sweet as you imagined he would, the warm remnants of whiskey he was drinking still lingering on him. He was addicting, intoxicating, and he was driving you insane without even trying. His hands on your hips were rough but gentle all the same, holding you tightly but cautious as if he thought he might break you. For the first time in your life, you were overtaken by greed, completely blind to anything other than your desire for him. The heat of his body as he held you to him, how perfect the two of you felt pressed together, was better than anything you’d ever felt in your entire life. His heart was beating hard against his chest, in time with yours as the two of you melted into one, cohesive mess for each other.

You let a moan slip out into his mouth, unable to hide your enjoyment for the moment. You felt his fingers tighten on you as he drank in the sound, surviving off of the sweet noise and locking it up in his heart for safe keeping. He pulled away from you, breathless with stars dancing in his eyes as he looked down at your face. His lips were swollen, the slight pout that so often made an appearance was nowhere to be found. He looked stunning, and you couldn’t believe he felt such a way about you.

“Hard for me to behave myself when you sound like that.” He huffed, his pupils growing large as he continued to study your expression.

“Who said you had to behave?” You asked, a sparkle of mischief shining in your eyes.

“Fuck, baby.” He groaned, your words hitting him harder than you thought they would.

He reached down, his hands landing on the back of your thighs as he lifted you in one swift motion. You locked your arms around his neck, your stomach twisting with excitement as you wrapped your legs around him. As he pressed his lips to yours again, he took a step forward. You were so immersed in the feeling of kissing him that you barely registered the chill that ran through you as he pressed your back up against the wall. With his newfound leverage, he pressed himself further into you, your hips meeting his as he kissed you. The intensity of the moment grew tenfold, especially with the new position.

The burning sensation in the pit of your stomach had prompted an ache between your legs that was becoming harder to ignore the longer he kissed you. Your dress had ridden up your thighs, resting just below your hips now. You quickly understood that you were not the only one with a growing problem, and you could feel his own desperation as your clothed cunt met with his cock through his pants. You could feel his entire length against you, and as much as you loved the feeling of kissing him, it made it incredibly hard to think about anything else.

His strong hands held your thighs, never letting you believe he’d drop you. He had you pinned against the wall, leaving no room for you to escape, and you were happy with it; there was nothing in the world that could stop you now, especially after feeling the euphoric affect of his touch. He was overwhelming entirely, but in the best possible way. You couldn’t even manage to form a coherent thought about anything other than the way he was making you feel, and you were eager to explore the possibilities the night held.

You tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, allowing yourself to fully embrace how good he was making you feel with such a small amount of effort. His hands felt like they were burning into your skin, the touch melting into you, and his chest pressed against yours felt right. The scent of his cologne lingered in the air, filling your senses every time you had a chance to catch your breath. Both of your lips were slippery, slick with saliva as he continued to kiss you, making even more of a mess. His lax attitude made it all the better, showing you that he was completely comfortable no matter how far you wanted to take it.

Perhaps the most pressing thought of all was how perfectly his hips met yours, and how badly you needed to feel it with less clothing in the way.

“Jake,” you breathed, parting from him as you rested your forehead against his.

“Could listen to you say my name like that for the rest of my fucking life.” He muttered, his tone gravelly and his gruffness making a return. This time, instead of irritating you, it sent a wave of pleasure straight through you. In an instant, you understood that his strong personality extended far beyond the realm of casual conversation, and you were eager to see it in action in a whole new way.

“I want you, baby.” You said, the words falling from your lips in a whimper. The need for him completely overtook you, in a way you almost didn’t believe possible. An hour ago, you were furious with him, convinced that he hated you and wanted nothing to do with you. Now, you were digesting the fact that no touch had ever felt so good, and you would do anything to be under him, just for a night. “Please.”

“Tell me what you want, beautiful.” He said, looking over your face with a fire in his eye that you ignited. It felt good to be looked at in such a way, like the whole world turned just for you. “Tell me everything.” He ordered, willing to comply with every one of your wishes, but wanting you to give him every one of the details.

“I want it all, Jake. I want you.” You explained, feeling his hips push forward. The pressure of his cock against your aching clit gave you a hint of relief, but it wasn’t enough. “I want you to make me feel good. I want you to touch me.” You pleaded.

“What else, gorgeous?” He asked, his lips ghosting over your jaw. You let your head fall back against the wall, giving him access to any part of you he wanted. His lips placed kisses along your jawline as he awaited an answer, sloppy as he began and growing even more so as he continued down to your neck.

“I want you to fuck me, Jake.” You confessed, free of any shame over the fact. “I need you to fuck me.” You corrected yourself, your desire pulsing under your skin as his tongue traced over the artery in your neck. He could feel your heartbeat on the tip of his tongue, your very life source offered to him on a silver platter. He pressed his lips to the pulse point, drinking in the desperation in your tone as he suctioned his lips around the very spot. Your eyes fluttered closed as he applied the slightest bit of pressure, focusing his attention there for a moment until he pulled away.

His eyes raked over the sight, the skin pink and irritated from his lips and darkening by the second. A perfect circular mark to remind you of him with every beat of your heart.

“I guess even a perfect little thing like you has some secrets to hide.” He rasped, his pupils consuming his irises as lust worked to craze him. “Tell me how you want me, angel, and I’ll give it to you.” You watched him carefully, your cheeks flushed and your skin hot. Your nipples were hard, pressed against his chest as he spoke to you. Every time he moved, the friction sent another rush of arousal straight to your core. Your skin was tingling, your excitement reaching every nerve ending and sending goosebumps prickling over your skin. “Tell me how you want me to fuck you, sweetheart.” He spoke again, trying to pry the dirty confession from you.

You had thought about it many times, but one thing you never seemed to consider was that in every fantasy, you got off from the simple idea of him doing whatever he wanted to you. Now, after experiencing touch from his hands, you felt that way more than ever before. No matter what he did to you, you knew you were bound to enjoy it.

“That’s it, beautiful? You want me to fuck you however I want?”

“Yes,” you nodded, excited just at the prospect. You looked over his face, piecing together every bit of information you knew about him. He was blunt, honest, and he liked to be in control. You couldn’t imagine sex with him being any other way than that, and you were eager to please him. If it was something as simple as that, you had no issue giving him the chance. “I just want to make you feel good, baby.”

The words seemed to cause a short circuit in his brain as he processed them. His hands tightened on you, his cock pushing forward into your cunt even further and his breath caught in his throat. He studied you for a moment, quiet and concentrated as he tried his best to figure you out. After a moment, his lips upturned into a devious smirk.

“Have you thought about me like this before, sweetheart?” He hummed, smug as he asked you the invasive question. Your cheeks burned red, your heart beating faster than normal as you quickly tried to find a cover up for the truth. Then, you realized you didn’t really care at all. You had thought about him in that way, and you had no reason to be embarrassed about it at all.

“I have.” You gave a slight nod, confirming his suspicion.

“And you got off to that? The thought of being my little fuck toy?” He pressed further, his intent to get you to admit to the dirty little fantasy. Although you wouldn’t have worded it quite the same as he did, the sentiment was the same, and you did get off on that thought alone. “Don’t be shy now, baby.” He said, his fingers snaking up the skirt of your dress.

“I did,” you whispered, biting down on the inside of your lip as you waited for him to respond.

“And you’ve been keeping that to yourself all this time?” He asked, his nose brushing against your jaw as his lips ghosted over your neck again. You squirmed under his touch, the feeling of his hot breath on your skin driving you insane. The tips of his fingers found your hips, settling just below the elastic waistband of your underwear.

He was going to be the death of you, and you were certain of that.

“Let me get this straight, angel.” He contined, pressing a delicate kiss to the sensitive spot just below your ear. A breathy wine pushed past your lips, your entire body ablaze with desire and desperate for him to do something other than tease you. “Did you like it when I was mean to you?” His words were soft, carefully treading the topic as he continued to gently rock his hips against your own. The dry friction was enough to keep you sane, but nowhere near what you needed. He took your silence as enough of an answer, smiling against you as you contined to try and move your hips further down on him. “Never would have guessed that Little Miss Sunshine likes to be treated like a whore.”

“Oh, fuck.” You whimpered, your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to press your thighs together to get a bit of friction. So strung out on desire, you didn’t even realize that all it was doing was pulling him further in to you.

“I bet that pretty cunt is such a mess for me, isn’t it?” He asked, pulling you away from the wall and stepping towards the bed. His hands were on your ass, firmly holding you so you did not have to fear him dropping you.

His cockiness was infuriating in any other context, but in the moment it was sending you feral. You were a shell of who you were earlier that night, the only thing fuelling you was your lust for the man below you. You were desperate, willing to do anything to have him, and finally coming to terms with the fact that your secret fantasies about him had nothing on real life.

“Answer me.” He growled, his fingers tightening on you as he drew your attention back to his question.

“Fuck yes, Jake.” You rushed out, feeling guilty for leaving him hanging.

“You want me to take care of that ache between your legs? Make you feel all better?” He asked, his eyes flickering to your face.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, meeting his gaze with doe eyes that seemed to drive him crazy. With that, he dropped you down on the mattress, the impact lessened by the springs bouncing you back upwards.

“You want me to take care of you, we do this my way.” He said, now gazing down at you with a slight sneer on his face. “Sound good to you, angel?” You nodded, never daring to look away from him. “First off, you refer to me as sir.” He waited until you processed the information before speaking again. “You answer when spoken to.” He added.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded. A small smirk turned his lips at the sound of your response.

“And the last one,” he crouched down, eye level with you to ensure you understood the importance of his rule. “Don’t ever, under any circumstance, be afraid to tell me to stop.” At that, a smile turned your lips, and he reached up to cup your face. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded, your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of his thumb drifting over your cheek.

“As for me, I’m going to enjoy this no matter how it goes, so tonight’s an apology for how poorly I treated you.”

“It’s okay, Jake.” You assured him, feeling slightly sad that he felt the need to settle the score. “You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“I want to, ‘cause you deserve so much more than that.”

“Okay.” You breathed, nodding against his gentle hold. His thumb drifted downwards, caressing the smooth skin on your face until it landed over your bottom lip. He traced the outline, taking a moment to admire you and appreciate all he had. As he did so, you placed a kiss to the pad of his thumb, feeling an unfamiliar tug in your heart that did not match the energy the rest of the night held.

For some reason, in that moment, things finally began to sink in for you, and you finally saw him for all he was. He wasn’t just some angry man who was unjust and cruel. He was a person, with feelings that plagued him every day, feelings for you. He chose to push you away not because it would do any good for him, but because he wanted what was best for you. From that alone, you could see that he cared for you far beyond what anyone else ever had. In some strange, twisted turn of events, you could physically feel the pull of emotion in your chest, the blossoming feelings for Jake and all he was, including his pessimistic and avoidant attitude.

This was what was meant for the two of you. Not the fighting, or the avoidance, but this; a blatant and unashamed attempt to show each other how you felt. The whole time, he only wanted to love you, and you only ever wanted him to like you. You had no idea why you wanted him to like you so bad until the sweet words began to fall from his lips, and now you understood that you had always wanted him to be the one to say such things to you.

He was a mystery that you promised yourself you wouldn’t solve, but that’s exactly what you’d been trying to do all along. You started every conversation with the intent of turning it deeper, and you left empty handed and heartbroken because you always felt like there should have been something more between you. If you didn’t truly believe so, you would have quit a long time ago.

Instead of dwelling on the past, you allowed yourself to live in the moment. The rough pad of his thumb still rested on the delicate skin of your lips, and you did the only logical thing that was running through your mind; you parted your lips ever so slightly, pulling the digit into your mouth and letting it rest on your tongue. You suctioned your cheeks around it ever so slightly, your eyes fluttering up to meet his as you did so. His expression was deadly, his eyes focused on you as his jaw clenched and the familiar muscle in his jaw flexed. Slowly, you moved your head back, his thumb sliding from your lips and falling from your mouth with a faint popping sound.

A low groan rattled his chest, his eyes fluttering closed as his head fell towards the ground. You watched him, eyes never leaving him so you could soak up every bit of his energy. “You trying to fucking kill me, sweetheart?” He asked, the rhetoric meant to go unanswered as his hands landed on your hips.

He pulled your near the edge of the bed, settling himself on his knees before you as his hand grabbed the fabric of your dress. He bunched the material in his fists, sliding it upwards with help from you as you lifted your ass from the mattress. When the bottom of the skirt landed near your navel, he dipped his fingers underneath the elastic of your underwear, using the opportunity to pull them down your thighs before you returned to your earlier position.

With your ass resting on the edge of the bed and your lower half bare, he couldn’t seem to control himself any longer. This was a moment he thought about often, but never truly believed he would experience.

“Do you know how often I thought about you like this?” He asked, his fingers roughly guiding your leg over his shoulder. The sudden action knocked the breath straight from your lungs, causing you to clench around nothing just from the thought of what he would do to you. “How many times I wanted to bring you up here and have you all to myself?”

“I thought about it too.” You breathed, your stare locked in on his face as his eyes scanned the sight before him. He leaned forward, his lips brushing over the soft skin of your inner thigh. Carefully, he sucked a trail of marks all the way up to the top of your thigh, determined to ensure you would remember the moment long after it passed. You reached down, brushing the long locks of brown hair away from his face so you could see the whole sight with nothing standing in the way. “I thought about it all of the fucking time.” You let out a shallow breath, watching as his mouth turned inwards towards your cunt.

Your stomach twisted into knots as you watched his tongue dart over his bottom lip, the anticipation killing you the longer he withheld his tongue from you. Without any further words, he leaned forward, unable to wait any longer and let his tongue connect with your core. Starting at your entrance, he let his tongue flatten against you, slowly moving it upwards through your folds until it landed on your clit. He took in a sharp breath before moving his tongue downwards and repeating the action for a second time. When his tongue settled over your clit again, he moved away just for a moment.

“You taste so fucking good, angel.” He rasped, his fingers tightening on your hips as he savored the taste of your arousal on his tongue. It was even better, knowing that he was the reason behind it. “Just as sweet as I thought you would be.”

A pathetic little whine fell from your lips, your face burning and your heart pounding in your chest as he lowered his mouth on you again. This time, his tongue went straight to your clit, his actions full of intent. As soon as his tongue began to trace over the sensitive bundle of nerves, your entire body began to tremble. You tangled your hands in his hair, a shaky breath leaving your lips as he focused his full attention there for a moment.

It has been too long since you had sex, and everything he did felt so good. You were a mess for him before he ever took your clothes off, and you knew it wouldn’t take long before he had you exactly where he wanted you. Your eyes fluttered closed, your head falling back on your shoulders as he worked at you, drinking up every drop of arousal you had to offer. His tongue felt so soft, warm and wet against you, making every movement all the more fantastic.

The power he held over you was nearly incomprehensible. Never in your life had another person affected you so badly and deeply, in everything that he did. Every lingering glance, slight smile and even the roll of his eyes, he had you hanging off it and asking for more. Even when you thought he despised you, you couldn’t shake the temptation to reach out and try again, because even a miserable interaction with Jake was better than nothing at all. You were a fool to think that the same emotions wouldn’t carry over into sex, but with his mouth on you, working you up to an orgasm, you realized that there was nobody in the world quite like him.

He was snide, sharp-tongued and quick witted. He was an enigma, catching attention no matter where he was or what he was doing. You were so convinced he hated you because it was easier to believe than anything else; even then, with his hands on your hips and his mouth on your cunt, you could hardly believe Jake Kiszka was interested in you at all. To know he spent so long hung up on you, thinking he wasn’t good enough for you was nearly painful to imagine. He was everything, even when he wasn’t saying anything at all. He was the whole world, and it felt like you were just living in it, which was why it was so hard to exist without any type of relationship with him. You wanted Jake to know you, to like you, to think of you in the same way you thought of him when you had a moment to yourself.

He let out a hum against you, the vibration running through your whole body and furthering the waves of pleasure already washing over you. You let out a sharp moan, your fingers tightening around the locks of his hair. You laid back on the bed, careful so not as to disturb him while he worked. The new position gave you a bit more control over the motion of your hips, and a lot more pleasure. He took advantage of your new position, pulling your ass off the bed and closer to him so he did not have to lean so far forward.

He groaned against you, completely overtaken with desire and unable to hide his enjoyment as your hips moved against his tongue to meet his time. The fire in the pit of your stomach was growing at a rapid rate, taking over your entire body and causing your mind to jumble with thoughts of nothingness. You needed it more than you ever needed anything in your entire life, and he was quite aware of that as you bucked your hips forward despite his tight hold. He was encouraging you further with every flick of his tongue, and just as you thought you couldn’t take any more, he reached between your legs and added his middle and index finger to you.

Your hips jerked upwards in reaction to the curl of his fingers, which hit against the sensitive spot inside you every time he pumped them into you. You could feel him smirking against you, cocky and rightfully so as he realized how good he was making you feel.

“Oh, fuck.” You whined, your eyes squeezed shut as a particularly intense wave of euphoria took hold. Your abdomen was tense, just the same as your limbs. You felt like if you moved an inch, you would lose the pleasure he was so kindly granting you. “Jake, m’gonna cum.” You warned, feeling the sensation in the pit of your stomach grow stronger, snowballing as it spread across your skin.

He continued to pump his fingers in time with the movements, pushing you closer to the edge by the second. You pulled your leg casted over his shoulders inwards towards you, drawing him in further as he worked at you with intent. You could feel a sheen layer of sweat forming on your skin, glistening under the moonlight through the window to illuminate the sin you were engaging in. The obscenity of the display the two of you found yourselves in was a picture that would be framed in your minds forever, the memory of the event seeping into the walls and remaining there forevermore. You wouldn’t be able to rid the memory from your brain even if you wanted to, and that was okay by you, because Jake was the best that you had ever had.

With one last curl of his fingers, he sent you over the edge, the knot in your belly tightening and snapping under the pressure. Your walls squeezed around his fingers, pulling him in further as his tongue traced over your clit. You cried out for him, pleading for more and less all at the same time, pleading for mercy you knew he would not give. Your hands in his hair were pushing him away and pulling him closer all the same, and you had never felt so strung out on pleasure in your entire life.

“Oh, god.” You whined, your thighs squeezing around his head as he confined to work you through the climax. His hands on your hips, bruising the delicate skin made your heart beat only for him in that moment, living just from the generosity he was granting you and thankful to be his.

When your body relaxed against the bed, he slowed his movements, eventually pulling away from you. Although you were grateful that he didn’t push you to the point of overstimulation, you immediately missed the feeling of his tongue, grieving the loss as if it were something catastrophic.

To you, it was.

He slowly rose to his feet, his hand swiping your arousal from his chin before they dropped to his shirt, quickly unbuttoning it and throwing it to the floor. You looked up at him, in awe of his blinding beauty and unable to process anything further than that. He unbuckled his belt, pulling it from the loops in one swift motion and tossing it to the floor.

“Get up.” He ordered, his usual expression taking over his face again, but this time it seemed even more ethereal. You did as he asked, rising from the bed and to your feet. “M’sorry, angel. Been waiting so fucking long. I need to feel you.” He said, kicking his pants and his boxers to the side to join the rest of his clothes on the floor. He stepped towards you, your eyes trained on his body as you tried to sear the sight into memory forever. He was stunning, more than you ever thought he could be, and seeing all of him only made you realize how lucky you were.

His hands snaked under your dress, pulling the tight material over your head and tossing it to the floor. Now that you were fully naked, he took full advantage of the fact and let his hands wander over you as he pulled you in for a kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, the feeling sending you feral as the pad of his thumb brushed over your nipple. You wanted to tell him he didn’t need to apologize for anything, that you needed him inside of you just as bad as he did. As your hands roamed his bare torso, you understood you didn’t have to say a word because he could feel how badly you wanted him.

He guided you to the edge of the mattress, taking a seat in front of the vanity Sam had placed at the end of the bed. He sat first, keeping his hands on your hips as he guided you towards him. With a smile, you placed your knees on either side of him, keeping a hand on the back of his neck to steady yourself.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful. Wish you could see yourself like this.” He muttered, his head craned upwards to meet your gaze as he lined himself with your entrance. The feeling of him against you was fantastic, only growing more so as he ran his tip your arousal. He bright his cock forward, guiding himself so he could slide over your clit. Your hips moved downwards in reaction to the feeling, in search of more. The pressure of him resting against you increased, only worsening your growing need for him. “Come here, gorgeous.” He muttered, carefully guiding your hips backwards. You felt him slide through your folds again, the sensation something so different than anything you’d felt before. When he settled by your entrance again, he couldn’t wait any longer to pull you down on him.

You both let out an audible sigh of relief as he pushed inside of you, the feeling of him filling you so fantastic that you needed to take a moment to appreciate it. You weren’t used to his size, but the stretch of your walls as he pulled your hips down to meet his was fantastic.

“So fucking tight,” he muttered, his nose brushing yours as your forehead rested against his own. “Feel even better than I imagined.” He confessed, his hands trailing up your torso and tickling your skin. You began to move your hips, starting with a slow pace while you both grew comfortable with each other.

You weren’t sure why, but the thought of him imagining the two of you in such a way was enough to get you off all by itself. It affected you so much, you couldn’t help but bring it up with him.

“Yeah?” You hummed, maintaining a slow roll of your hips against him. The ends of your hair tickled the skin of your back, tangling with his fingers as he held your chest to his. “You thought about me like this? Just like this?” You continued, adding a little extra force to your hips as you came down on him.

“All of the time, Y/N.” He said, one hand reaching around you and landing on your ass. His fingers tightened against you, his palm settling directly on the curve of your ass. “Thought about how good that pretty little cunt would feel wrapped around me every fucking night.” He confessed, leaning forward and capturing you in a kiss. He pulled your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down with just enough force to cause your hips to stutter while they moved against him. “Takes everything in me not to take you upstairs and fuck you every time I see you.”

“I thought about you too.” You whined, your eyes fluttering closed as you focused on the feeling of him inside of you. You were without shame anymore, knowing that the two of you were finally on the same page. He thought about you just as much as you thought about him, he wanted it just as bad as you did, and you felt no need to hide it from him.

“Yeah?” He asked, thrilled at the sound of your words despite already knowing as much. His hand on your ass was guiding you down further every time you moved your hips, adding just a little more pressure to the already overwhelming sensation. “Did you play with yourself while you thought of me, angel?” He asked, his lips hovering over your ear as he spoke. The low tone sent a shiver down your spine, and his warm breath on your skin sent goosebumps rising across your entire body. Your hand on his shoulder tightened, but you did not confirm or deny the fact. “Come on, don’t be shy.” He coerced you to answer, leaning forward and gently pulling your earlobe between his teeth. “Want to know all of your dirty little secrets, beautiful.”

“I-I did,” you stuttered, clenching around him ever so slightly. He was impossible to resist and denying him the truth seemed more painful than confessing.

“So I was the one keeping you up at night?” He asked, a little breathless as he spoke as if the idea sent him spiraling. “My name on your lips as you imagined it was me touching you instead? And I wasn’t even there to hear how fucking desperate you were.” He said the second part with a hint of disappointment, as if he was grieving the loss without ever knowing he missed out. “You’re breaking my heart, angel.” He muttered, pushing your hair away from your neck as he pressed a kiss atop the darkening marks he’d already left behind.

“M’sorry, sir.” You pleaded, unsure why you were apologizing but doing so because you were terrified he might stop. He was silent for a moment, his tongue grazing your skin. The saltiness on the tip of his tongue seemed to drive him mad, his stature rigid and his chest heaving with every breath.

“Turn around for me, sweetheart.” He said, ignoring your apologies as his eyes focused on the mirror in front of him. He felt selfish being the only one who could appreciate the view of the scene you found yourselves in.

You slowed your movements, pulling away from him as you complied with his request without hesitation. Slowly, you got to your feet, turning around so you were facing the large vanity mirror as well. He reached out, his hands landing on your hips as he guided you back towards him. You placed your legs on either side of him, feeling him reach between your bodies to line himself back up with you. Once he knew you were comfortable, he pulled your upper half towards him, your back pressed against his chest as he slowly lowered your hips onto him.

“Want you to see how pretty you look when I fill you.” He muttered, pulling you down until he filled up you completely. A shaky breath left your lips as the tip of his cock brushed against your g-spot, the sight almost too much for you to handle. He reached up, brushing your hair from your shoulders and pulling it all to one side. He draped it over one side of you, his chin nestling on the opposite shoulder as you began to move against him again.

With the new position, you could see everything. The furrow of his brow as he bargained with the pleasure of feeling you, his clenched jaw as he tried to keep himself calm, and more importantly, you could see him fucking into you, every time your hips raised and sank back down on him. It was almost too much to take, the sight so obscene yet so beautiful all at once. His hand snaked between your legs, his middle finger resting over your clit as he began to trace slow circles around it. Your legs trembled as you tried to keep a steady pace, the burning in your belly reaching a new level as you watched his lust-crazed eyes, never daring to look away from you.

“This is what you fantasized about, sweetheart?” He asked, making you understand the real reason he switched the position. He wanted you to remember, to know exactly what it looked like as he fucked you, so you had something to think about the next time your mind wandered when you were alone.

“Yes, sir.” You whimpered, your entire body ablaze with emotion. You’d never felt so good, and you’d never felt so alive. Sex with Jake was phenomenal, something so filthy that it only existed in the darkest depths of your mind, even when he wasn’t doing much at all. The closeness was enough to drive you insane, and the pleasure was enough to put you in the grave. His stern demeanor was infuriating outside of the bedroom, but seemed to further his charm as soon as his clothes were off.

“Want you to think about it every time you play with that pretty pussy.” He growled, his hips raising off the bed to meet yours in a moment of high emotion. You let out a muffled yelp, biting down on your lip to silence the sound as it passed through you. “If that’s still not enough, you just let me know. I’ll be happy to take care of her, whenever you need me.” He assured you, his teeth sinking into the skin of your shoulder. The miniscule pain from the action only furthered the knot tightening in your belly. You needed to let go, to show him how good he was making you feel. You needed it more than anything you’d ever needed in your life. The pressure of his jaw slackened, and you felt his tongue gently trace the skin his teeth had marked, soothing the slight irritation he left behind.

A moan fell from your lips, loud and telling of the surplus of pleasure coursing through your body. His finger continued to trace your clit, relentless and unapologetic as he tried to pry another orgasm from you. It was becoming harder to focus, the sensation quickly turning into the only thing you could think about. You watched his face in the mirror, studying the beauty of the man below you. He was concentrated, certain of what he wanted and unwilling to stop until he got it. As you contined to watch him, you understood that his eyes were no longer trained to your face, and instead his gaze had fallen downward, settled on the exact spot where the two of you met. Your stomach burned as you realized he was watching himself fuck into you, the simple idea pushing you just a little closer to the edge.

“You going to cum for me again, angel?” He asked, his tone sickly sweet as if you had a choice in the matter. He wasn’t going to stop until you did, and the question only served as a catalyst in his ever growing ego problem.

Perhaps you were the real catalyst in the equation, because you seemed to lack any self control when it came to him, and you wouldn’t dare deny him of a single wish.

“Yes, sir.” You groaned, your eyes closing and your head falling towards the floor. You felt like you had no control over your body, your movements only made to further the pleasure he was already giving you. It was necessity rather than want; you were tired, but you couldn’t fathom stopping. You wanted to exist in the moment for the rest of your life, never letting him go and never worrying about anything else.

“Look at me.” He growled, his hand raising to your face. He clamped your cheeks between his fingers, forcing your head back upwards to face the mirror. Your body was overtaken with euphoria by the harshness of his actions, the feeling of his hand tightly holding your face adding the extra little bit of pleasure needed to send you over the edge. “Watch how good you look when you cum for me.”

“Oh, fuck.” You whimpered, your movements stuttering as the sensation became too much to withstand.

“That’s it,” he rasped, continuing to hold your head in place. “That’s my fucking girl.” The possessive claim sent you spiraling, the term too much to bear in combination with everything else he was doing to you.

Your walls squeezed around him, pulling him in further and locking him there as your second orgasm washed over you. He raised his hips off the bed, continuing the same pace as your body froze in place. His finger on your clit never faltered, ensuring that you got the most out of the orgasm. He continued to whisper the sweet nothings in your ear, praising you for the show you were putting on as profanities fell from your lips. Your cheeks were red, your face hot as the sensation infiltrated every nerve in your body. Your eyes remained locked on the two of you, soaking in every detail as he worked you through the climax, admiring him as he remained so tentative as you unravelled around him.

Before the pleasure fully subsided, you could feel him shift underneath you. His finger moved from your clit, instead his hand holding your hips as he began to stand. He held you as he stood, guiding you upright with him without ever pulling out of you. Your mind was foggy and your limbs weak as you barely worked to help him, but he didn’t care about the lack of support. He was crazed enough from the look on your face that something superhuman took hold. He pushed you forward, closer to the vanity as his eyes stayed locked on your face.

You raised your hands to the cabinet, knowing his course of action before he ever began. You began to regain your wits at the same time as he pushed your upper half down towards the wooden surface. Your chest landed on the frigid surface, sending a shock through your body as you felt it. He reached upwards, his hand gathering your hair and knotting it around his fist as he began to move his hips. The new position allowed for much more freedom, and much more control. As much as he enjoyed the slowness as you grew familiar with the feeling of him inside you, he could only give up control for so long before he went insane.

“Being so good for me, sweetheart. Just a little bit longer, okay?” He pleaded, his hips slamming forward. A guttural moan tore through your chest, the pain and pleasure mixing together to create a whole new kind of feeling for you. You were tired, nearly fucked out and ready to go to sleep, but if he wanted it, so did you. You would do anything to please him and you would enjoy it while you did so.

“Y-yes, sir.” You complied, your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to fight of the irritating overstimulation trying so hard to take hold. “Whatever you want, sir.” You added, finding that talking was helping you come back to your senses a little more.

“Fuck, baby.” He hissed, his hand coming down on your ass with a force that sent your knees weak. The ring on his middle finger sent an aching pain across the flesh, but it was so addicting you barely thought twice about it. The stinging sensation spread across your skin, the redness already beginning to darken where his palm came in contact with you. “Take it so fucking good.” He praised, his dark eyes still watching your expression in the mirror. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze, the desperation to please him evident and doing nothing but furthering the frenzy he was stuck in.

“F-feels so fucking g-good.” You gasped, stuttering the words out through a mess of moans. You raised your hips a little higher, sinking your upper half down so he could reach a whole new angle inside of you.

“Such a little whore.” He commented, tugging at your hair and forcing your head upwards. Your eyes raked over your reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing yourself so strung out on pleasure. “Do you like being a whore for me, angel?”

“I love it.” You confessed, your heavy-lidded stare burning into him. “Only for you, sir.” You added, ensuring he knew that now, he was the only one who would ever have access to that side of you.

“That’s right.” He affirmed your statement, his words gruff as his movements grew sloppy. He was being pulled in to the same euphoria you’d experienced at his hands only moments before, the sensation taking hold and growing impatient with him. He needed it, and after his generosity, you would do anything to get him there. “This is all for me now, sweetheart. Nobody else gets to see you like this.” A high pitched whine echoed through the room, confirming his feelings on the matter without any words needing to be spoken at all. You wanted to be his; you didn’t want anyone else to have you like that, ever again. He brought out a side of you that you barely knew to exist, and the thought of letting it go was grievous. “Do you understand me?” He growled, knowing you did but eager to hear it anyway.

“Yes, sir.” You panted, watching as wrinkles formed between his brows, showing you just how hard he was trying to hold back.

“Want to hear the words, baby.” He pressed further, his pace bruising and making it difficult to formulate the statement he wanted you to say. Another moan tore through you, your throat raw as it passed through. You were on the brink of another orgasm, so close but it seemed just out of reach.

“I’m all yours, sir.” You promised, pushing your hips back towards him to meet the time of his thrusts. As his cock slammed into your cervix, your knees went weak below you, threatening to collapse under your weight. He noticed the change in your posture, immediately slipping his arm under your hips to hold you upright.

No matter the circumstance, he wanted you to know that you would never have to worry about falling so long as he was there to catch you.

“Fuck, you feel good.” He let out a strained sigh, his face contorting into an expression of pleasure. He was close, but he wasn’t willing to give in until he gave you one last orgasm.

To you, the thought alone was ridiculous; after everything he’d already done for you, you couldn’t imagine him holding back any longer.

“S’okay, baby.” You breathed, catching his eye so he could see the sincerity in your face. “Want you to cum for me.” You said, your words hitting him like a brick. It seemed to cause a short circuit in his brain, the role switch sending him spiralling in an instant.

You could feel him pull out of you, both of you knowing he couldn’t push himself any further. Something seemed to take over you as he did so, unfamiliar but not unwelcome. You spun around, facing him and quickly dropping to your knees before him. You were nearly saddened at the thought of such an anticlimactic end for him, and the feeling forced you to take action as you moved your head forward and took him into your mouth. You could taste yourself on him as you bobbed your head down to take his full length, the simple fact causing the ache between your legs to worsen beyond anything it had already been that night. You missed the feeling of him inside you, but you were more eager to please him than you were to satisfy yourself.

He looked down at your face, shock written across his features as he processed your sudden change. It didn’t take long for the surprise to be forgotten, especially as his tip hit the back of your throat. His hand reached down, holding your hair in his hand so he did not have to miss a single detail of your face. The warm wetness of your mouth was just as inviting as your cunt, and the sensation furthered his pleasure as if he’d never pulled out of you at all. He didn’t want to push you, afraid that you might not be able to handle the same intensity in the newest position, but when you pushed your head further down on him and his cock slid down your throat, he quickly understood that you were willing to take whatever he wanted to give you.

His hips bucked forward in response to the feeling, and you forced yourself to swallow, your throat constricting around him and effortlessly sending him over the edge. At the same time, the most beautiful sound fell from his lips, gracing your ears and settling deep in the pit of your stomach.

For a moment, you felt like you could get off on the sound of his pleasure alone.

His posture slipped slightly as his orgasm washed over him, his release spilling down your throat as he held you to him. You moved your head against the force of his hand, your tongue moving against the underside of his cock as you swallowed back every last drop of him. A strangled cry left his lips as he pulled back, his hips jutting forward again as you ran your tongue over his tip. The saltiness lingered on your lips, making your mouth water and leaving you wanting more. In that moment, there wasn’t a single thing you wouldn’t do for the man standing before you.

“Get up.” He spat, his shoulders still heaving with his breaths. Your eyes flickered upwards, catching his gaze as you withdrew your head. His tip fell from your lips with a slight popping sound, and you couldn’t bite back the smirk forming on your lips. “You think you can do something like that and finish it there?” He growled, watching as you rose to your feet. He was not angry, and not a single part of his face gave you that impression. He was enamoured with you, unable to walk away without at least thanking you for the service, and he was completely beside himself with desire. “Turn around. I’m not fucking done with you, yet.”

You did as he asked, spinning back around to face the mirror. You sunk back to the position you were in moments before, your hands clamped around the edge of the wooden dresser. Instead of returning to his earlier position, he sunk to his knees similar to how you had done for him, his head between your legs and within seconds, his tongue connecting with your core.

He got straight to the point, so far gone he didn’t even care to tease you anymore as his tongue settled over your clit. Your hips moved back to meet his mouth, in desperate search of more and he barely even started. You were too far gone to care, much similar to him, and your body was still abuzz with the pleasure he had already granted you that night.

“Fuck, Jake.” You cried, your voice raspy and your tone breathy as your eyebrows knitted together in pleasure. His movements were different than before, more messy and much less calculated, but it almost made the entire ordeal even more enjoyable. The knowledge that he was completely feral for you alone was overwhelming, and the fact he was pleasuring you solely because he enjoyed it was something you’d never experienced before. “Please don’t stop, baby.” You pleaded, your heart thudding against your chest and your face hot with emotion. He moaned against you, assuring you he would never even dream of it. The sound appeared much more animalistic than it was before. His hands raised, grabbing your hips and pulling you back towards his face. He was working at you with desperation, like he needed it just as bad as you did.

Your stomach was tense, your legs trembling as his fingers bruised your skin. You were so close, too far gone to care about keeping yourself quiet and without a care in the world about the marks he was leaving on your body. You wanted to remember it, to wake up in the morning and see the dirty details of the night lingering on your skin. In days to come, you wanted to think of the night every time you took your clothes off, living in the feeling of being his just for a moment longer.

“Jake!” You cried, your knuckles white from your grip on the vanity. Your body ached with exhaustion, but you were in such desperate need of another climax that not even that could deter you. He hummed against you, the warmth of his tongue and the vibration of the sound working together to push you closer to the edge. You could barely think straight, your skin tingling with pleasure every time he moved. You worried that you might not survive the fall, the orgasm barreling towards you faster than you could comprehend. Then again, with him holding you, you had a lingering sense of comfort, like you could survive anything so long as he was there to support you through it.

With one last flick of his tongue, you were pushed over the edge and there was no coming back. A strangled whine tore through your chest, your legs locking in place as the sensation took hold. You were crying his name, begging him for something he couldn’t give, because not even you knew what you needed. He didn’t even think of moving away, working you through the process until you rode out the high, and even then he felt like he had to force himself away from you.

When you relaxed against him, you could barely keep your eyes open. You were so tired, so ready to curl up in bed with him by your side. You wanted to sleep soundly, so much so that you could forgo the conversation about what the two of you were and deal with it in the morning. You expected him to feel the same, but he rose to his feet with a whole new surge of energy overtaking him. Wordlessly, he helped you stand upright, spinning you around once more by your hips, but he didn’t let go this time. Instead, he lifted you up, similar to how he did earlier that night but with much more strength due to the lust working to his advantage. You wrapped your legs around him, exhausted but still able to comply to his demands. Your mind was elsewhere, your body working solely to please him as he held you to him with one hand. His other reached out, carelessly clearing the surface of the vanity with one swipe of his arm. The few items toppled over and landed on the floor, and he sat you down on the edge of it.

“I know you’re tired angel, but I need to feel you again. I can’t fucking help myself.” He explained, reaching between you and running his tip through the wetness still lingering between your legs. He was still achingly hard, in dire need of relief again despite his last orgasm only being moments before. Your eyes were drooping so close to closed, but as his cock drifted over your clit, your hips grinded forward into the feeling, in search of the very thing that might be the death of you.

Slowly, he thrusted himself forward, his dick falling into position and slowly pushing inside of you again. Unprotected sex was risky, especially after his previous orgasm, but neither of you seemed to care a bit about it, too desperate to be close to each other again. The sensation of him inside you was too much, the stretch of your walls as he filled you again so much more daunting than the last time. Still, despite your body screaming with overstimulation, you couldn’t deny how right it felt to have him so close.

“You can take it, baby. I know you can.” He encouraged, beginning a slow rock of his hips against you. The newest position allowed for a whole lot more intimacy, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t completely living for it. Your arms raised, locking around his neck and pulling him closer. “Being so, so good for me, baby.” He praised, his hands traveling over your bare back to pull your chest closer to him.

You were completely fucked out, and you had no idea how he was still going. You had a hard time imagining that you had such an effect on him, but the proof was in his actions. This time around, he was much more generous with his sweet side, and had much less control over the sounds falling from his lips. He was desperate, acting as if the control was in your hands despite his dominant aura, like he would die if he couldn’t have you for just a little longer. You never thought Jake Kiszka would be the one before you, pathetically needy and unable to resist the temptation, but you were so glad it ended up that way.

“Come here.” You muttered, pulling his face closer so you could kiss him. The taste of you on his lips still lingered, something that you were growing more used to as time went on. The sweetness of his kiss was nearly too much to bear, a pitiful moan slipping into his mouth as he continued to fuck into you. You were a mess for him, willing to let him do whatever he pleased. The best part about it was that he felt the exact same for you in the moment.

Your tongue glided over his bottom lip, begging for more attention from him. His lips parted slightly, allowing you to slip it into his mouth. The kiss was sloppy, the salvia shared between the two of you soaking your lips and coating the upper part of your chin, but it was addictive. The messiness of the action only made it even more so, and you couldn’t seem to get enough of him.

His chest was pressed against yours, his heart beat wild and matching your own. The dampness from the sweat on your skin caused the two of you to stick together, forcing you to stay in the position. His hands were grasping at your body, doing all he could to bring you closer than you could possibly get, and your hands were tangled in the mess of his hair. Neither of you wanted to break apart, so you stayed just like that for as long as you could.

As you continued to kiss him, the pressure in the pit of your stomach began to rise again, this time different than the last. It had little to do with his hips moving and everything to do with the connection you felt with him. His nose brushing against yours as he did all he could to continue the kiss was euphoric, and you couldn’t believe he wanted you so badly. After so long spent thinking he hated you, the feeling of him loving you was otherworldly. He was holding you with all of the emotion he’d kept locked up for so long, the truth coming out in a climactic and emotional manner. Your legs locked around his waist, pulling him further into you as he continued to fuck you.

For a moment, you felt like you had become one, cohesive being that survived solely off the beating of each others hearts.

You knew you were at the end, that you couldn’t possibly hold anything back. All of your willpower disappeared, your body doing as it pleased and your mind having no say over it. Without confirmation, you believed in your heart that he felt the same way as you did. He could feel the flutter of your walls around him, the telltale sign that you were close to another climax. He continued his pace, never thinking of stopping even for a moment. He needed to feel you in the most primal, visceral way possible.

“Come on, angel.” He muttered against your lips, upping the force in which he was fucking into you. “One more, baby. You can do it.” His voice was strained, like he was teetering on the same edge as you were.

“You too?” You asked, pulling away just enough so you could look over his face.

“Y-yeah,” he nodded, almost embarrassed over the fact. It only seemed to further the burning in your belly, and you wanted him just as bad as he wanted you. Neither of you cared about the consequences, only the intensity of the connection between you as he fucked you closer to the orgasm. In a permissive manner, you leaned toward and pulled him into another kiss, your mouth meeting his own and telling him everything he needed to know.

A groan rattled his chest as his hands fell to your hips, pulling you closer to him as he gave in to the feeling. You did the same, feeling your skin tingle with the intensity you’d felt so many times already. This time was different, more emotional and less physical, but it was a million times better than anything you had ever felt.

Together, the two of you reached the peak, muffling every moan and cry with your mouths. His stature faltered, falling over into you slightly as you held him tightly. Your entire body trembled as the euphoria overtook you one last time, and his hips stuttered as he pulled your hips forward onto him. For the second time, he spilled his release into you, unapologetic as he worked you through your own orgasm. Your body ached from the tension in your limbs, your ribs pained from your heart pounding against them. Your hands loosened on him as you relaxed, the moment passed you by almost as quick as it came.

Reluctantly, he parted from the kiss so he could catch his breath. His forehead rested on your own, and his eyes seemed tired, but full of love. There was no more hesitation, no reluctance or indifference in his gaze. Instead, it was replaced with the emotion he was so determined to confess, and it washed over you like summer rain. It felt better than anything ever had, and you never wanted him to look at you any other way ever again.

Silence became the two of you for a few moments, neither of you having the energy to speak. He rested inside of you, completely content with holding you there as he soaked up the last bit of intimacy the moment had to offer. Your brain was abuzz with thoughts, all pertaining to him, and for once, there was nothing negative. Finally, you were at peace, completely comfortable with the man before you. It felt right. You couldn’t deny the fact, and you were over the moon with the outcome of the entire ordeal.

Eventually, he leaned forward, placing one last, gentle kiss to your lips. It was sweet, soft, and exactly what you needed to come back to earth. A small smile was tugging at his lips as he studied your face, and finally, he spoke. The words were quiet, barely noticeable over the sound of your beating heart, but you clung to them as if it were necessary for survival.

“Let me take you out to dinner. Let me do this right.” He whispered, pulling you closer to him. Your bare chest rested against his own, his arms around your waist and as he held you tightly.

“You sure Little Miss Sunshine isn’t too much for you?” You teased, a tired smile crossing your lips as you rested your forehead against his.

“Never too much for me, sweetheart.” He shook his head, looking over the entire picture before him. He had never felt so lucky in his entire life, and he was so grateful that you decided to take a chance on him even after he’d been so rude to you. As he watched your face, he realized he was almost more excited at the prospect of sleeping next to you than he was over having sex with you. “Little Miss Sunshine’s all mine, now.” He said as a matter of fact, turning his head upwards and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I can get used to that.” You breathed, unable to express just how happy you were at the sound of his words. After having him in such a way, you would be stupid to let him go.

“I think I can, too.” He smiled against you, soaking up the warmth of loving you openly. You let your eyes close, leaning against him, content with staying in the position for a little while longer. The warmth of his body was alluring, and for a brief moment, you thought you might fall asleep right there in his arms.

You couldn’t believe the night had come to such a climactic end, and you never would have thought you and Jake would end up in a position like such. You were happy, relieved even that all the years of struggling to connect turned out to be a misunderstanding at the very core. You were excited for dinner, you were excited to share a bed with him, wrapped up in his arms all night long, and you were excited to know him. Finally, you could delve into more than superficialities and small talk about the weather, and you could know the boy that always seemed to make your heart beat just a little faster.

Despite all of the new and exciting things, there was still one thing that remained true amidst the chaos, and that was the fact that under no circumstance would you ever let it slip that Sam was right, because both of you knew that you would never live it down.

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anthemofgvf · 2 years ago

Text

Endless Summer: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

Part Two

description: you and sammy have been best friends since you were kids, and being around his family was the norm your entire life. when invited to a trip to their family lake house during the summer, you find yourself spending more time with his brother than your best friend. and, one thing has been clear your entire friendship: brothers are off limits.

warnings for this series: alcohol and marijuana usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing

word count: 7k

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You squinted one eye open the next day as you heard your door squeak. You lifted your head just enough to see Sam creeping into your bedroom. When he noticed you were alert and awake, he gave you a soft smile, and made his way over to your bed without caring about his steps being too loud on the creaking wood floors.

He crawled into bed with you, resting his back on the headboard and inviting you into his arms as one laid above your head. You moved yourself over to his body and rested your head on his bare chest, humming in delight as you made yourself comfortable and shutting your eyes.

“Morning.” He croaked at you.

You titled your head up and met his eyes, then chose to rest back down as you felt your neck growing tired from craning it.

“Good morning to you, too, sunshine.” You smirked at your comment, feeling Sam’s chest rise as he huffed out a laugh.

“What was it like sleeping in here?”

“Blissful, until you decided to wake me up.” You shook your head against his chest. “What time is it?”

“Nearly nine.” He shifted his head towards the round clock that sat on the wall of the room. “Bright and early.”

“Too early,” you groaned, “are the boys awake?”

“I think Josh is, but I’m not sure. Didn’t check.” He shrugged.

You moved yourself off of his chest and chose to rest your back on the headboard as he did, sighing deeply as you let your eyes get used to the brightly-lit room.

“Do we have anything planned for the day?” You turned your head to him.

“I know they have something planned, but they won’t tell me because they want it to be a surprise for you.” He rolled his eyes and finally met your gaze.

“They know better not to tell you because you’d tell me anyways.” You gave him a playful smirk, watching as he grew slightly irritated at your truth. “You’re not good at keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is, I hope it’s good.”

You nodded and let your eyes rest on the mirror in front of you, watching through it as Sam picked himself off the bed and stood in silence, like he was waiting for you to turn your attention back to him.

“Breakfast?”

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You all grabbed food at a nearby diner, agreeing to go shopping to stock up on groceries to keep your going out to a minimum. Once you all arrived back home after eating, you entered the lake house again.

Jake mentioned that you would need your swimsuit for the day, but it wasn't necessarily required. You decided to throw it on underneath your clothing just in case and met the boys downstairs where they seemed to have gathered in a small circle and chatting casually.

You raised your eyebrows at them and waited for their attention to turn towards you, to which Josh clasped his hands together and motioned everyone to follow him. He grabbed a small, light-weight cooler on the way out with a few things he packed into it from the newly stocked fridge and pantry.

"Are you boys gonna tell us what we're doing?" You followed the twins and Sam down the familiar trail to the lake, except taking a slightly alternative route.

"You'll see when we get there." Jake flipped his head back to you, giving you a suspicious smile that only meant they were up to no good.

You looked up at Sam, who seemed to be set off and in an aggravated mood. He must've been told what you all were doing, or he simply figured it out on his own. You chose to keep your thoughts to yourself and look back forward and continued down the path.

As you four made it to the bottom of the trail, two kayaks laid at the bottom with four large paddles sitting inside of them. Jake and Josh must've set them up earlier when you and Sam were together in the morning, or when you two were occupied with changing.

"You didn't tell me what we were doing because we were going to go kayaking?" Sam huffed with a slight groan, popping his hip out with folded arms.

"Well, if we would've told you, we wouldn't have been able to drag you down here." Jake shrugged with a sly smirk slapped across his face, seemingly pleased that he was upsetting his brother. "It won't be like last time, I promise. Don't be a prick, Sam."

"Wait, why are you upset? I thought you liked kayaking?" You furrowed your brows, making your way to the kayak that was directly in front of you.

"That was until they pushed me into the water, and I had to get a new phone because my old one broke. And I lost my wallet." He spat, looking over to the twins who were failing to hide their laughter behind their ducked heads.

"God, it was hilarious, y/n. Sam was trying to find his wallet for like hours, and he eventually gave up. He ended up tugging his jeans on a few branches and came out of the lake a mess." Josh said in between laughs.

"It's not funny, man. Told you guys I didn't want to go kayaking with you again after that. Was fucking miserable all day. You know I nearly got an infection because I cut myself so deep?" He spat, challenging his brothers by taking a few steps closer.

"If you think we're going to do it again you're more than free to go sit in the house until we get back." Jake shrugged, flashing his eyes at you before meeting Sam's.

Sam turned his head over his shoulder, noticing you were eager to step into the kayak and waiting for him to join you.

Sam rolled his eyes, exhaling with a deep sigh and saying, "Alright, but I'm going with y/n. If any of you try something stupid, I'm pulling you down under with me." He pointed in their faces, giving them one more look of anger as he took harsh steps towards the back of yours and his's kayak,

Josh took his seat whilst you settled into yours, letting Sam push your kayak into the water and Jake pushing theirs. After getting deep enough into the water, Sam hopped in and grabbed his paddle to begin rowing.

While you helped paddle through the lake, you watched as Josh commanded Jake with quiet directions, snapping photos on his camera of the scenery around you. You had forgotten about how gorgeous the lake was: trees lining the deep blue, yet murky waters, branches that hung too close for comfort, and sparce leaves that rested on the surface of the lake.

Jake had begun talking about where you all were headed off to, explaining that there was a small creek ahead and that that would be your final destination. You listened to the twins tell you a story or two about a fond memory of swimming there, because as kids they always ran off and did things on their own. Sam stayed quiet for the most part, only exhaling quiet sighs as Josh dragged on a story about him and Jake.

Once you all made it to the creek, you and Sam "parked" your kayak off to the side by a few sturdy rocks and tying it to the bark of the tree that rested behind the rocks, letting you four stop for a few hours.

Josh had already cracked a bottle open of a Coors Light beer, sipping it gingerly as he continued to sit in the kayak, not stepping out of it just yet and letting it float in the calm waters. Jake had already made his way under a shaded area nearby, grabbing a sandwich from the cooler and sitting on the rocks as he took a few bites.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" You stepped over to Sam, who cautiously grabbed a beer from the cooler that sat in front of Josh.

"That's because I warned them not to try anything stupid." He popped the tab of the can, letting the fizz simmer before taking a drink. "You were barely any help."

"Oh, I'm sorry my arms got a little tired." You titled your head to the side, glaring at him with a hint of playfulness. "I'll steer the entire way back if you'd like."

"You might make us crash." He bit back a smirk, dodging your flying hand with a chuckle.

Josh stepped out, pulling the kayak up the rocks until he felt comfortable it would stay, and joined you and Sam's conversation.

"You know, I don't mind taking y/n if you feel as though her paddling was unsatisfactory." He flicked his eyes at you with a warm smile before looking back up at his brother.

"Yeah, and then have Jake in my kayak? That's just a disaster waiting to happen." Sam said as he rested his hands on his hips.

"Not going to push you into the water, Sam." Jake spoke up from his seated position, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"I'll make you a deal, then. If Jake pushes you in the water, tips the kayak - any of that, you can push me in while I'm fully clothed. I can even have my phone in my pocket if it makes you feel better." He cocked his head with raised brows, waiting for his brother's response.

Sam looked over at Jake, who seemed to have spaced off by looking at something in the near distance, finishing his sandwich and setting his trash next to him as he sprawled his hands out behind him and leaning on them for balance.

"Why do you want y/n in your kayak so badly?" Sam furrowed his brows, looking back to Josh who had a confused look on his face.

Before you were able to speak to express your feelings about Sam's unnecessary attitude, Josh spoke.

"I was just offering because you were complaining about her not being helpful, Sam. She's a friend to us all, not just you."

Sam had always been protective over you, especially when it came to his older brothers. It spurred from jealously of never having something that his brother's didn't, and you were something that was his own. It wasn't a possessive thing in any means, it was a thing of being his own personal best friend. Although he did have Danny, he didn't know him for nearly as long as you two have known each other, and your guys' bond was inseparable just like Jake and Josh's. So, yeah, from time to time he did get jealous when you found one of Josh's jokes funnier than his or decided that you liked one of his older brother idea's better, but that came from him always feeling like he was competing with the twins. He never wanted to make you feel like he thought he owned you, but he did want it to feel like you preferred him over his siblings. He just didn't want to lose another thing to his brothers.

Being the youngest sibling didn't help always feeling like he got the short end of the stick, so when you and him became friends, he finally had something, someone that wasn't a product of his brothers. You were his best friend, and although you eventually became friends with Josh and Jake, you always chose him at the end of the day.

Sam huffed, flicking his eyes back over to Jake before starting to speak. "Fine, yeah. I'll go with Jake back." He threw his hand up and walked away with a tight fist, slumping into the rocks and drinking from his can.

You looked at Josh with wide eyes, seeing that he had already shrugged the situation off.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," he placed his hand on your shoulder, "you know how he is. He'll shape up once we get back."

You nodded, turning your head in Sam's direction, who still had a sour expression on his face and averting his eyes from everyone as he stared at his feet.

"Did you guys push him last time you all were here?" You pressed your lips together.

"Yeah, two summers ago. Was our last time here before we went on tour again. He doesn't let us live it down." He chuckles, raising the lip of his bottle to his mouth.

"Did you apologize to him?"

"'Course we did. But you know Sam. Always holding a grudge." He shrugged with the bottle still at his mouth, taking another sip as he finished his sentence.

You were torn between continuing your conversation with Josh or joining Sam where he sat. You knew Sam always liked space when he was upset, but he also always appreciated your company, and you were able to easily pull him out of an upsetting mood whenever it called for it.

When Josh left you to sit beside Jake, you found yourself creeping over to Sam and sitting next to him with your eyes on the lake. He still had his head dipped down and caught in his own train of thought.

"Hey, you alright?" You spoke quietly, looking over to him.

"Fine." He said as he gave you a tight smile with his eyes still focused on the rocks. "Was just joking, by the way."

"I know you were." You nodded and placed a hand on his back.

Sam picked his head up, sharply inhaling as if the words he had to say were resting on his tongue, but he didn't know if he should speak. He turned his head to you, flicking between both of your eyes as you waited for him to say whatever he felt like he couldn't.

But you knew what he was upset about. It wasn't just the kayaking, which he eventually got over, it was about Josh. He knew you were close with his brothers, and that was fine, but it still bothered him. He felt as though if you ever got closer with them, you'd stop spending time with him and push him to the side. Because, as a matter of fact, that happened a lot to him when he was younger. You watched from the sidelines and would see his friends come and go and choose Jake and or Josh instead of him, or stop being friends with him all together for whatever reason. And you were one of the only people who never chose a side, and that's why you were so important to him.

"You know I love you, Sam. Right?" You let the corners of your lips rest into a smile, rubbing his back with affection.

"Yeah," he huffed a laugh, "I guess I was just being dramatic. I don't know, I was kind of set off already with the whole thing and when Josh said that it just pissed me off. I know he was just trying to be nice, but sometimes I just miss the actual intention behind things, ya know?" He swallowed, rubbing his lips together; a nervous tick he always did. He wasn't the best with his emotions, but when he was, he was fearful of whatever would come next or what would be said.

But you always knew what to say, thankfully because you've known him for so long.

"Yeah, I know. He was just trying to be helpful, despite him not knowing you were just messing with me. I think you owe him an apology, though." You watched as Sam cocked his brows at you. "Maybe not now, but you should at least do it after we get back."

Sam nodded, wrapping his arm around you and resting his head on top of yours. He squeezed you into his side and circled your back with his hand.

"Thanks." He muttered, raising his hand to your hair and massaging your scalp. "Sometimes I don't know how you deal with me."

"It's a thing called patience." You sighed.

You all went into the water for a bit, taking turns popping in and out of the lake and letting the sun soothe you into relaxation. It wasn't an extremely eventful day, but you didn't need much to be satisfied. You had your friends with you, and that was just enough.

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You hopped in Josh's kayak and let him push it into the lake, hopping in front and setting the cooler at the floor of the small boat. Jake and Sam followed shortly behind, but you and Josh had a small head-start.

You twisted your head back and realized Sam and Jake were actually far behind, more than you realized. You worked harder to paddle, probably because you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of Josh.

"Do you think we should stop and wait for them?" You slowed your rowing and met Josh's eyes.

"Nah, they'll catch up." He titled his head up and motioned for you to continue.

You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth, hesitating to speak for a moment.

"Sam's feeling a little jealous." You admitted.

You heard Josh chuckle to himself. "When is he not?"

"Yeah, you're right." You shook your head as you laughed. "I just don't get it sometimes. I mean, we've known each other for so long and he still reverts to acting the same way he did when we were younger."

Josh clicked his tongue. "I'm not sure. He's just a jealous guy. Always has been, I suppose."

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You and Josh made it back to the lake house before his brothers did, and you both took the liberty of grabbing firewood for the firepit outside whilst waiting for their arrival.

You dusted your hands off on your shorts, taking a seat as Josh finished putting the last piece of fire in the pit.

With the sun just barely peaking its head over the grassy hills, the air became less aggressive and lightly sang through your hair and caving in to cool your body. The temperature change wasn’t by much, but it was enough to feel a difference.

Josh hopped in the seat next to you after pulling out one of the last bottles of beer in the small cooler, grabbing one in his other hand and lending it to you with a smile. You took it with gratitude, using the bottle opener and clicking off the metal lid with a loud “pop”.

“Shall we wait for them to get here to light the fire?” Josh looked over to you for approval. The way he asked you seemed like he was stating it rhetorically, but you still answered with a shake of your head.

“Sam isn’t the only pyromaniac in the Kiszka family.” Josh pointed his finger at you, causing you to giggle.

You took a sip from your bottle, waiting patiently for Josh to light the fire. He was blocking your view, standing directly in front of you and then turning around with a satisfied smile once he got the fire going with a few matches and newspaper.

He retook his seat next to you and rested his head on the back of it, fluttering his eyes shut and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, again, about Sam earlier." You twisted your head and letting it rest on your shoulder.

Josh squinted one eye open and looked over to you, shaking his head with a smile.

"You don't have to apologize for him. You have no reason to be sorry." He gave you a shrug, lifting the lip of his bottle to his lips.

"Well, I just feel like someone should apologize. I don't know if he will, so." You pressed your lips together, watching as Josh returned to relaxing the back of his head on the chair, to which you followed and did the same.

Your ears tuned to the hushed sound of branches crunching under shoes, and quiet chatter floating through the air. You lifted your head to see Sam and Jake making their way up the trail with blank faces.

Jake ran off into the lake house, probably to go grab his guitar, and Sam stood in front of Josh with furrowed brows. Josh flicked his eyes at you, then to Sam, and quickly stood up from the seat with an "oh!".

"Was keeping your seat warm." He extended his arms towards the seat as Sammy hopped into the chair.

As Josh made the short walk over to the seat that became his, you decided to try your luck with talking to Sam again.

"I see you're completely dry. Jake didn't push you in?" You joked, letting your lips relax into a playful smirk.

Sam shook his head with an eyeroll, biting back a smile. "We didn't talk much on the way back."

"Probably because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. You look a bit tense."

His face was tight as if you insulted him, shaking his shoulders out and trying to prove to you that he hadn't let the situation earlier affect him still. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat, averting his eyes from you and standing up to make his way to the cooler.

Jake came out with his guitar case and plopped into the open seat next to Josh, flicking the latches open and pulling the acoustic out with a soft grunt. He rested the base on his knees, his fingers laying lightly on the neck and searching between the three of you with a parted mouth.

"Any suggestions?" He asked. With no reply, he turned his direction to you. "Y/n?"

"Oh, I don't care. Anything you play is great." You felt your cheeks flush, and you shook your head and nursed your bottle by your lips.

"C'mon, I'll play whatever you want." He dragged out the syllables and rested his mouth in a smile.

You took a deep breath and clicked your tongue, searching the ground for an answer, but coming up with nothing. It's not that you were shy, it's just that nothing came to mind. There was always the pressure of not picking a good song, but you shared common music taste with the boys.

But an idea sprung into your head. "How about one of your songs? Haven't gotten the chance to hear you guys live yet."

"But we play our stuff-"

"No, c'mon, let's play something for her." Josh cut Jake off while throwing his hand out to the guitar. He gave you a comical smirk, followed with a wink.

"Well, if that's what you want." He shrugged, tilting his head up for a moment in thought before letting his fingers pluck the chords.

You watched as Josh nodded his head to the melody, seeing him flutter his eyes shut once he began singing the first note. His vocal cords exuded a beautiful orchestra as he sang the song you've familiarized yourself with: "You're the One".

Through your peripheral, you noticed Sam's eyes rested on you, seemingly waiting for you to turn your attention to him. You whipped your head to him with a smile.

"Do you feel any better?" You whispered as you leaned your head towards your friend.

"A bit, yeah," he let his mouth rest parted, "I'm sorry, by the way, for being a dick earlier."

You flashed a smile at him, placing your hand on the back of his. "It's okay. I know you're a little selfish with me sometimes."

He tilted his head up, exhaling a laugh before slowly returning his eyes to you. "Just don't want to lose you to my brother, that's all."

You opened your mouth to reassure him that that wouldn't happen, but he turned his hand over and held yours, speaking up before you had the chance.

"I know I won't. I just worry too much sometimes. And, and it wasn't like it was a big deal anyways. It was a fucking kayak ride." He shook his head while he pressed his lips together. "I just, well, it's still hard sometimes to see you spend time with my brother and not me. It's selfish, I know - I'm well aware." He sighed, looking over to his brothers before returning to you. "I don't even know what was wrong this morning. Guess I just needed someone to blame for how I felt, and Josh was the first person to test me."

You pressed your tongue into your cheek and squeezed his hand, nodding to acknowledge his words and how he felt. You always appreciated it when he would be so vulnerable like this, and it was vital for him to know that you were listening and cared about what he had to say.

"Can I be honest with you?" You said hesitantly.

He nodded and waited for you to continue.

"Don't get upset when I say this," you warned, to which he scrunched up his face in confusion, "I think sometimes you can kind of be an asshole. Like, y'know, with me wanting to hang out with your brothers for a bit. I know how you feel - I do, I just wish you'd take a step back and realize I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be so protective over me because you think I'd stop being your friend if I spent more time with your brothers."

He tried to let the muscles in his face relax, exhaling deeply as his eyes scrunched shut. With his head tilted down, he collected his thoughts, and gave you a nod.

"Okay," was all he could say to you. You knew that was all you were going to get from him, because after all, he never liked admitting when he was in the wrong. He knew that you cared about your guy's friendship more than anything, but deep down, his gut told him a different story and that he should be cautious.

But he had no reason to be. Even if you had feelings for Josh, which you pushed deep into the back of your brain and heart, you wouldn't let that ruin your friendship with Sam. After all, he was the person that held you as you cried, the person you confided in, the person that would drop anything just to make sure you were okay.

Even when you two were in high school did it shock you how you were a main priority in his life. He usually came off to those around him as self-centered, but to his friends, he was beyond reliable. That's one of the reasons why you valued Sam so much; because even if his exterior said that he didn't care about others, it was far from the truth.

So, seeing him jealous time and time again was normal, and you grew to understand the motive behind his feelings. Even after all this time, you didn't fully grasp why he wouldn't just let some things go or be the bigger person. But, when remembering how he viewed you, it became easier to accept that that was the dynamic between you two, and it would never change. You were like his little sister, despite him being a month older than you. But he didn't consider his brothers in your extended family, it was more of if you were some sort of "long lost sister that was only related to him."

And in a strange way, it made sense. Especially considering you never saw the twins as family, but rather just as friends. But Sammy, Sammy was the brother you never had - the sibling you were never given. And that's why he was so protective over you.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

Once the fire finally died down and the night had seemed to come to an end, you all decided nonverbally to part ways and head back into the lake house.

As you brushed your teeth and got ready for bed, a few, quiet knocks tapped at your door. You probably wouldn’t have heard them if your sink was still running.

With a cocked brow, you walked over to your door, opening it and seeing Josh.

“Hey.” You titled your head to the side, looking at him quizzically.

“Hi,” he smiled at you sheepishly, “mind if I come in for a bit?”

You turned your head over to your bed, then meeting his eyes. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just not that tired. Preferred to bother you.” He nodded his head satisfactorily and pushed his way past you as he hopped onto your bed.

You huffed a laugh and returned to the sink in your bathroom as you began brushing through your hair.

"Your brothers weren't good enough options?" You huffed a laugh and flipped your hair over your shoulder once you made your way over to your bed.

He shrugged. "I get to see them all the time. You, on the other hand, not so much. Feel like we got a bit of catching up to do."

You nodded your head in agreement, sitting crisscross on the bed and facing towards the mirror. You noticed Josh fidgeting with his fingers in the mirror, keeping his head hung low and his eyes focused on his cuticles.

"Are you okay?" You turned your head to him, to which he immediately caught your gaze.

"Yeah, just a little bored. Usually just sit in my room for an hour, but I figured a little company would be nice." He gave you a single nod with a soft smile, returning his eyes to his fingers in a slow motion.

You pushed your tongue into your cheek, bouncing between asking him a question that you felt was too sensitive perhaps. Or, just flat-out stupid. But you knew Josh wasn't one to judge you or leave you feeling embarrassed for asking a question.

"Do you...do you get, or feel lonely sometimes?" You watched as he stopped picking at his nails, furrowing his brows together in thought and tilting his head up.

"Not really, no. I'm just a people person, I suppose. Although, I do like spending time by myself." He pointed at you before resuming picking at his nails. "Sometimes it sucks third or fourth wheeling on outings, but it's normal for me. I've become more comfortable with being alone." He met your eyes with a smile that told you that he was being truthful. That he didn't want you to worry about him.

"That's kind of sad." You looked at him with a frown, down turning your brows.

"I don't think so. Well, when you state it the way I just did, yeah it sounds sad," he chuckled to himself, "but I don't mind it." He gave you a reassuring smile, hesitating for a moment before he continued. "Do you?"

You laughed at the question, mainly because you could feel yourself getting uncomfortable with the height of vulnerability immediately rising. You never had an issue talking about emotions, let alone with Josh, but it wasn't something you liked thinking about.

You had your friends in college, and Sam and the twins, but that was pretty much it. Of course, family is always there, but there's some things you can't talk to family about that you can with your friends. You missed Sam more than anyone for the most part when he was gone, and it was the worst kind of feeling you'd get that rested in the pit of your stomach watching him leave Frankenmuth every time. It never got better, no matter how much time went on at an agonizingly slow pace.

And God did it hurt when Josh would leave. You'd even let your tears fall as you give them all hugs, and Josh would hold you in his arms a little longer because he knew that that's what you needed. You'd grasp onto that memory and feeling of being in his arms for as long as you could, until you couldn't remember, and it was just a distant memory that you oddly felt guilty about trying to recall, even though you shouldn't be ashamed of missing his touch.

"Sometimes, yeah. I've got a good number of friends in school, but I miss Sam a lot when he's gone." You watched as his face scrunched up. "And you and Jake, of course."

"Glad to know you don't forget about me when I'm gone." He rested his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb up and down the bone.

You try to forget about him, but you know if you do, you'll feel worse when he comes back. You're practically guilt-ridden for missing Josh more than Sam sometimes. And that's one thing you'll never admit to anyone.

You two continued to talk about your schooling, and his upcoming tour and all the new songs they have recorded and ready to release. Watching his eyes light up as he tells you the premise of their album and what each song means to him with such passion made you realize what made you fall in love with him in the first place: how much he loves life and is beyond grateful for everything given to him. And how his eyes hold so much adoration, no matter where he looks or who he looks at. He's always wearing his heart on his sleeve and showing the next person the same appreciation as the last. It's one of the things you aspire to be like - more loving, that is.

But you don't try to let your emotions control you, especially because every time you look at Josh you just want to shove your lips on his and taste whatever stupid ChapStick he's wearing. And you've tricked yourself into believing that's selfish. Selfish because you know Sammy would be absolutely crushed that you did the one thing he told you not to do.

But you hadn't done anything wrong, at least not yet.

Then you realized why you hated talking to Josh sometimes. He brought out your emotions and easily unveiled the layers that hid your vulnerability and let them pour into his lap from your mouth. Okay, you didn't hate it, but you wished it wasn't so easy for you to open up to him. For him to make you feel like you were the only person that truly mattered.

And that was why you hated loving him. Because you couldn't. Because it was wrong. Because it was selfish of you to have feelings for someone that you shouldn't because Sammy had told you so long ago that that was the one thing, the one thing that he didn't want to happen in your friendship.

And it did, and it ate at you from the moment you woke up until you fell asleep. And sometimes, it invaded your dreams just to remind you how you should be ashamed.

And that was all you could think about when you and Josh talked. You tried keeping a bright smile on your face, nodding your head to show you were listening. But you were letting your thoughts travel through your ears instead of his words. It was the only time you didn't listen to Josh when he spoke.

"Do we have any plans for tomorrow?" You muttered as you tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

"Don't think so. Might go downtown or head to the beach at night. Jake and I just kind of decide what to do when we see each other in the morning."

"And leave Sam out of it?" You cocked your head to the side.

"He doesn't really care what we do. And, he never has any input. We always consider something if he brings it up, but he usually just tells us whatever we do is fine. Although, we are thinking about surprising him with going to one of his favorite restaurants tomorrow." He gestured with his hand as he spoke. "One of the only places in town with 'good vegan food'."

"I'd like that." You gave him a downturned smile.

"Did he convert you into a vegan?" His eyes widened, pretending to be shocked.

"That's one thing we don't have in common, Josh." You laughed at his face contorting back into a relaxed face of "relief".

"I'm glad some things don't change. Which, you didn't." He extended his pointer finger towards you.

"Is that a good thing?" You rested your hands on your knees and repositioned your body, still sitting crisscross.

"In your case, yeah. I think it is." He nodded, placing his hand on top of yours. "There hasn't been anything wrong with you to begin with." He circled the back of your hand with his thumb, holding your eyes. "Maybe not coming to any of our shows is where you went wrong."

You opened your mouth in defiance, still smiling, and Josh spoke before you had the chance.

"I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow. Like, I don't know, just a random thought, by coming on tour with us next year." He shrugged with a sly smirk, watching you as you rolled your eyes.

"I'll try, Josh. I think next year I'll finally be able to."

"Good! It's been long enough." He threw his hands up, keeping his mouth rested in a cheesy smile as you pushed his shoulder.

Josh let the laughter die down before he hopped out of your bed, letting his lips rest into a soft smile and saying goodnight. You returned the words and waited for him to close the door fully before relaxing under your covers.

You figured resting your eyes and letting your tired body sink into the mattress would lull you to sleep, but you couldn't help but wear your infamous downturned smile. It wasn't like you hadn't had conversations with Josh before, but after what seems like forever, you got to talk to him in an intimate setting again.

It wasn't easy getting one-on-one time with Josh when Sammy was around. Of course, you didn't mind it, but it wasn't a part of your usual routine that made it more exciting and made you crave the late-night talks more.

But you couldn't fight the guilty feeling of Sam sleeping in the room next to you as you and Josh talked. You were purposefully leaving him out of it to satisfy your own selfish desire of having Josh alone and fully attentive to you.

But it's not like anything was going to come from it, anyways. You would be doing the same thing for Sam had it been a better day on his end. You figured after the day he's had that leaving him alone would be best, even if you grew annoyed with the whole situation because it simply seemed childish to you.

But that was just Sam: protective over you in any way possible. Sometimes it came in handy, while other times it was just a little too intrusive. That was the only flaw in yours and his's friendship. But it was just a matter of him caring too much about you, and you shouldn't regard it as a flaw. Even if his intentions or words seemed over the top or outright dramatic, he meant well, for the most part.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

And as the week went on, the routine of Josh coming to your bedroom nightly continued. Those talks were more intimate, in a platonic way, with you both talking about your lives and everything that's happened since you've two seen each other.

A part of you felt guilty for not discussing with Sam that you two were spending time together alone, since his freakout last week. But there was nothing going on other than a simple chat or a deep conversation that you could have with Sam, so it shouldn't poke at you with guilt that you couldn't get rid of. You thought about offering once or twice to Sam to join you and Josh, but it seemed like Josh preferred it when it was just you two or preferred that Sam didn't know.

Sam did eventually apologize to Josh for overreacting during the kayak trip. It took a day for him to work up the courage, because Sam has never been good with confrontation or admitting he was wrong. But, nonetheless, the gesture was appreciated, and it wasn't spoken of again.

As the days went on, and you all indulged in different activities, you noticed that more than half of your time was preoccupied with Josh. Sure, Sam was often by your side during most of your guys' conversations during the day or by the fire, but at night, it was a different story.

You evaluated your actions and decided that maybe spending so much time with Josh wasn't the best idea, considering how easily upset Sam got over small things that occurred between you and his brother. Even when you four were in the same room would Josh brush your arm or leg or make a joke that could be intended as flirty. But you knew him better to disregard that as Josh being himself, but Sam couldn't. Sam didn't care that it was in his brother's nature to be naturally flirty, because anyone can prevent their actions. And you noticed how aggravated Sammy would get, how his ears grew bright red at the sight of Josh landing his hand on your shoulder or knee. Or his lips would tighten into a sour expression.

You just hoped he didn't notice how your cheeks would flush from the innocent touches, or how your smile would reach your eyes anytime Josh said something to you. Or how you laughed a little more at one of his jokes than the rest of the group. You did all of these things without thought, but once you saw how tense Sam grew, you would beat yourself up in your head after the fact.

Were you making it too obvious you still had feelings for Josh? Or did Sam figure out how you felt about Josh instead of being oblivious to the fact?

Whatever it was, you couldn't let it keep you up at night or pick at your brain when the room was silent, since it practically became a routinely thing of worrying. Whether or not Sam was concerned, you knew it would be in your best, and his interest to not bring it up and leave it be.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

taglist: @gvfleetwood @sacredjake @aureatopia @myeyehurtz @alexiagx @objectsinspvce @unhappycylinder @spinthehemmo @carbonwritingthroughtime

-part three-

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ageofbajabule · 11 months ago

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My baby Jake😭 awww Court you write this so well🩷🩷 I’m so glad you’re back

What Is and What Should Never Be Ch. 6

A/N: i know this one took me a hot minute. but to be honest, i haven’t really been motivated to write. this story is going to have a lot of sensitive subject matter in future chapters and i will do my best to make sure all the proper warnings are in place. but if by chance i do miss something, or you’re not happy about something i write, please DM me to open a discussion about it. i appreciate any and all feedback🩵

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, No smut but suggestive language and allusions to sex, Angst, Toxic Theme(Possessiveness, Arguing, Fighting, Accusations, Cheating)

…I can’t make my own decisions or make any with precision // Well, maybe you should tie me up so I don’t go where you don’t want me…

You cautiously stepped through the front door of Highway Tunes, keeping an eye out for Josh. When you saw he was busy with a customer, you made a beeline for the bathroom, feeling the remnants of Jake between your thighs.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Josh whisper-yelled from the end of the hallway just before you could enter the restroom. You slowly turned to face him, preparing yourself to be scolded. He came closer, standing right in front of you, “I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of… If this thing with you and my brother is hindering you from doing what you were hired for, you’re gonna need to find another job. Don’t let it happen again.” He stalked out of the hallway before you could respond and you finally burst into the bathroom.

Locking the door, you turned the faucet on, letting the sound echo through the small space as you splashed water over your face. You were in shock at Josh's outburst, not that you didn’t deserve it…but the anger you felt radiating from him is what really troubled you. You wanted to rush out and apologize, plead for his forgiveness and promise that you’d never let it happen again, but when you finally went back to the front of the store and saw him, the look in his eyes made you stay far away.

The afternoon stayed busy enough that you could easily keep your distance from Josh but, every so often, you would feel him staring at you. You did everything in your power to avoid looking at him, just counting down the minutes until shift change when he would finally leave and take the suffocating tension with him. Much to your dismay, you were having an issue with the barcode scanner while ringing a young woman up and you had to swallow your pride to talk to Josh. “Excuse me for just a second, hun… I need to get my boss.” You stepped away from the counter to search for him, finding him in the corner, typing on his phone. Approaching him slowly, you tapped his shoulder, “Uhh, Josh? There’s a problem with the scanner… I don’t- can you come help me?”

He turned to face you, his expression begging to say something that his mouth wouldn’t allow. Instead, he simply nodded his head and followed you back to the counter. You stood back, watching as he flashed the customer his perfect smile. “Cam, hey!” He greeted her with a gleeful hug and you assumed she was another regular that you hadn’t met yet until she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I didn’t expect you to be here today, babe.” The woman, Cam, pulled back but her hand remained on Josh’s hip and you couldn’t help the sting of jealousy you felt at the tiny, intimate gesture. “Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in like, a month…” Her tone was accusatory and it intrigued you; Who is she? What’s the relationship between her and Josh?

He glanced at you briefly before stepping out of her grasp and moving behind the counter. “Uh…yeah, I don’t know.” He kept his head down, fiddling with the scanner, and there was suddenly an awkward tension in the air. “I’ve just been busy, I guess. We were spread pretty thin and short staffed, but Olivia is back for good and we got a new hire… Uhh, Y/N.” Josh pointed to you with a soft smile, one you hadn’t received since Jake dropped you back off. “She’s pretty fucking great… I was lucky to find her…” His eyes drooped with a sad and silent apology before he put his attention back on the scanner.

The girl held her hand out to you with a friendly grin, “Well she’s beautiful, isn’t she?” She cut her eyes back to Josh, giving him a smirk, as you slipped your hand into hers. “Y/N, huh? I’m Cameron, preferably Cam.” Her dark, spiral curls cascaded over her shoulders and brought out the deep, olive tones of her skin. When her gaze returned to you, she released your hand and leaned her elbow on the counter as she took in your appearance. “So, how did a sweet thing like you end up here?”

You could feel your cheeks heat as your eyes fell to the floor to avoid her intense stare. “I umm… They were just the first place with a ‘Now Hiring’ sign…and Josh doesn’t make it easy to say no.” You laughed quietly before looking back up at her.

You heard your boss clear his throat to get her attention, but Cam didn’t seem bothered, almost acting as though he weren’t there. “D’you just move here? I’ve never seen you around before.” She stood up straight and stepped a little closer when you nodded your head, “Oh…Well, if you ever want a tour of the city or to just hangout…maybe you-.”

“No, Cameron.” Josh’s tone was flat and final but he forced a fake cough to clarify when she whipped around to face him, “Wrong tree, Cam. She’s…with Jake.” He turned back to the computer, clicking a few buttons, and grabbed her record to run it in front of the scanner. The beep echoed in the hanging silence and he used the opportunity to end the current topic, “Look at that. Scanner works… Your total is $34.98.” He was making it obvious that he wanted to get her out of there but she ignored him.

“No fucking way…” She turned back to you, her mouth slightly agape, “Jake? Mister ‘No Strings Attached’ Jake? He scooped you up?” Cam faced Josh again, leaving you no room to answer her question. “How the fuck… I thought he-.” She clamped her mouth shut when he pressed his lips together in a warning. Tossing her debit card on the counter, she chanced one more look at you with a half smile, “It was nice to meet you, Y/N… I’m sure you’ll see me again soon.”

He gave her the card back and passed her the bagged vinyl, “I’ll call you. We can meet for drinks this weekend.” She nodded before heading for the door and you waved a quiet goodbye to her as she left and disappeared down the sidewalk. You chanced a quick look back at Josh and turned away to find something to occupy yourself. “Y/N, wait…” His hand was on your shoulder, stopping you from walking away from him, “I- The way I lashed out earlier…I’m sorry.”

“Josh, you don’t owe me an apology. I fucked up and I can promise that it…won’t happen again.” You faced him fully, but kept your eyes on the floor. “We- I lost track of time and I feel awful. I don’t want you to think that I’m not serious about my job just because-... This is my top priority and I’ll make sure Jake knows that too.” You fought to keep your hands from fidgeting by folding them together behind your back.

Josh hooked a finger under your chin, pulling your gaze from the floor to meet his face. “I know you weren’t late on purpose, Y/N. I just-.” He dropped his hand, drawing in a deep inhale when you locked eyes with him. “You make me fucking crazy in a way that i’ve never felt before and… You know what, it doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head back and forth, waving his hands as though he wanted to shoo his thoughts away. “Just know that I wouldn’t fire you. It was an empty threat from the beginning.” His voice trailed off and now he was avoiding your eyes.

You didn’t know what to say; part of you wanted him to elaborate on how you made him crazy, but the other part knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the answer appropriately. “Josh…” Your breath caught in your throat when he looked at you, his large brown eyes, soft and bright. You lifted a hand to his face, mindlessly sweeping a stray eyelash from his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, his lips just barely grazing your palm. You both froze, eyes locked, for several moments, and if it weren’t for the door chime ringing out, causing you to jump and retract your hand, you weren’t sure what may have transpired. “Uhh. I’ll…get that.”

“Y/N.” He glanced at the customer, who had their back to you as they perused the rack of new release albums, before grabbing your wrist. “I- I’m sorry. I have to stop doing this shit…” He released his grip and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I know that you’re with Jake and I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect that, but I really fucking like you.” Josh paused when you began chewing on your lip, all of his focus going to your mouth before he stuttered through the rest of his thought. “You’re so- I mean, I- Shit…”

“Excuse me?” You both turned in unison to the customer, an older gentleman, as he interrupted Josh. “I’m looking for something for my granddaughter, might one of you be able to help me?”

You gave him a polite smile, “Of course, sir. You tell me what you need and I will be more than happy to assist.” You listened to the man explain what he was looking for as you led him to the tables, only stealing one glance over your shoulder to find your boss watching you.

💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿

“Hey, you alright?” Josh asked, a tinge of concern in his tone, when he found you leaning on the counter with your head in your hands.

You rubbed your palms over your face and looked up at him. “Yeah. I just have a headache…waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.” You forced a quiet chuckle as you stood up straight, “I guess I should’ve actually eaten on my lunch break.”

His brows pinched together as he glanced at the clock on the wall. “You haven’t ate anything today?” When you meekly shook your head, he let out a frustrated huff and stalked into the office. You heard some things shuffling around before he reemerged a moment later holding something out to you. “Why the hell would he take you out on your lunch break and not fucking feed you?” He wasn’t asking you directly, more so thinking out loud. “Eat these… Please.”

You took the package from his hand, a little bag of pretzels, “Thank you…” You murmured it quietly and ripped the bag open to pop a pretzel into your mouth. “It wasn’t his fault. I just…got distracted.” Slipping into the office, you took a seat in one of the chairs to finish the small snack.

Josh followed you in and leaned back on the edge of the desk, looking down at you. “Why didn’t you just order something for delivery when you got back here?”

“I don’t know…” You pulled your phone from your pocket to check the time; it was almost 4 o’clock, which meant Jake would be in for the closing shift any minute, but also that Olivia would be in too, and you weren’t in the mood. “I’m not gonna lie, Josh… You kind of scared me when I got back. Food was the last thing on my mind and even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have ordered out of fear that it would piss you off even more.” You gave him an honest answer as you finished the last pretzel and dropped the bag into the trash can.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Josh crouched down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees, and waited for you to obey. “I don’t want you to ever think there’s a reason to be scared of me. I lost my temper and I’m sorry.” He stared into your eyes and you nodded, fully conscious of the way his thumbs rubbed circles over your leggings. “If you miss lunch again, or you’re hungry at all, I keep the bottom left drawer stocked full of snacks. You can help yourself whenever, okay?”

“Ummm. Am I interrupting something?” Olivia was standing in the office doorway, her eyes darting between you and Josh. “I just wanted to clock in… Is Jake here yet?”

He stood up with his ever-gleaming smile. “Hello, Olivia. It’s so very pleasant to see you too.” His tone dripped with sarcasm as he slithered around her to exit the office and you followed suit, holding a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.

Just as you stepped out from behind the counter, an arm wrapped your waist and pulled you around the corner towards the back of the store. “Miss me, peach?”

You yelped and spun in his hold, lightly slapping his chest. “Don’t do that, Jake! I almost pissed myself.”

“Too bad I’m not into golden showers…” He joked with a playful smirk and you shoved out of his grasp.

“God, you’re disgusting.” You giggled and made a move to walk past him, but he grabbed you again and pulled you close to kiss you. You stopped him, holding a finger over his lips before prying his hands from your hips, “Not at work, Jake. Respect the rules.” You broke away from him to do a quick clean up and return any discarded products to where they belong.

“Rules?” He was trailing behind you, close enough that you could feel his body heat. “What the fuck do you mean rules? I can’t touch you? Is that a rule, because I-.”

You cut him off as you stopped walking and turned back to him, grabbing his face, “Work is my main priority, babe. I get paid to do a specific job and that job isn’t being your girlfriend… So at work, we keep it professional.” Dropping your hands, you went back to your task, but he was still lingering.

“Does that mean I can’t take my girlfriend in the storage room for a quick fuck on our shifts?” He reached out, cupping your asscheek before giving it a sharp tap.

“Jake, I’m serious…” You took a few steps away, facing him with a scowl. “Josh wasn’t happy about lunch and I don’t want my boss to think that I’m just gonna blow my responsibilities off because I’m fucking my other boss…who happens to be his brother, might I add.”

His face twisted into a frown as he looked around the store. “Did he say something to you? Where is he?”

You caught his arm before he could stomp away and placed a hand over his chest. “Hey, relax. I talked to him and it’s fine, but I just need to set boundaries. For myself. Okay?” Leaning in, you pecked his lips, allowing your mouth to linger on his for a few seconds in the hopes it would calm him down.

“Okay.” His jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth. “We’ll keep it…professional.”

You pulled your hands from his body, but not before Olivia had seen you touching him. “You’re just suckering up to both of them today, aren’t you, peach.” She popped the ‘p’ with a venomous smile, flashing her gaze to Jake.

“Both of us?” He looked at you, studying your expression for a moment as his eyes narrowed. He huffed a short laugh through his nose and shook his head. “Nah, Liv… She was just begging for forgiveness after exceeding her lunch break…came back almost a half hour late, didn’t you?” His lip curled at one corner when your mouth dropped open, “Don’t let it happen again or I’m gonna have to write you up, peach.” Jake turned on his heel, stalking to the office, and left you speechless, gawking at his back as he disappeared through the doorway.

After a few minutes, Josh appeared at your side as you were straightening a shelf of CDs. “Hey, I’m heading out. Just wanted to say bye.” He pressed his palm to your back with a warm smile and you weren’t oblivious to the amount of touches he’d indulged in throughout the day…but you weren’t complaining either.

“Oh. Well I guess I’ll see you Sunday?” Your attention was torn away from him when you caught Olivia out of your peripheral vision, staring daggers at you before slipping behind the counter to poke her head into the office. You released a sigh and returned Josh’s smile. “I hope you have a better Friday night than I’m about to have.” Your eyes rolled on their own as her giggle echoed through the store.

He glanced toward the counter for a brief second, “It won’t be that bad. Jake and Olivia have done the flirting thing since she started here almost two years ago.” Josh patted your shoulder with a sympathetic expression. “I know how annoying they get but I guess I can’t really imagine how you feel about it… Just- It’s never been more than just flirting, y’know? If he wanted Liv, he’d have her…but he wants you.” His hand slid down your arm, holding onto your fingers for a moment before he flashed his signature smile and went on his way.

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Time felt like it was moving in slow motion. It was surprisingly slow for a Friday night and closing couldn’t come fast enough. Jake had been in the office since his twin left, going over payroll and catching up on paperwork, while Olivia would pop her head in every few minutes, or call his name from across the store in her loud, grating voice. You’d tried to ignore it, busy yourself with senseless tasks that didn’t even need done, but your patience was wearing thinner by the second. When he had finally decided to come out of his cave, he found you wiping down the glass display of limited editions for the third time and purposely placed his palm flat against the glass. You straightened up with an angry sigh, “Are you serious, Jake? Grow up.” You knew he was doing it to get a rise out of you, and normally you may have laughed or at least indulged in the playful banter that would’ve resulted, but you slammed the bottle of cleaner down on the counter and tossed the rag before walking away from him.

His brows raised in confusion, “Woah…Y/N, hey.” He was jogging to catch up with your long strides, reaching out to grab your hips. You couldn’t deny that you were growing irritable and Jake had definitely taken notice by the way you pushed his hands from you and glared at him, “Let’s take a walk, peach.” He carefully placed a hand on your shoulder as he led you towards the back hallway before calling out to Olivia, “Liv, we’re gonna grab some shit to restock…We’ll be right back.” He ignored whatever response she tried to give as he pushed you into the storage room and closed the door behind him. “What’s your goddamn problem?” His voice was stern, but you couldn’t be bothered to care.

“I don’t have a problem, can I get back to work?” You kept your tone short and clipped as you rolled your eyes and reached past him for the doorknob.

He leaned back against the door, putting his body weight on it so you couldn’t pull it open. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Why are you in a pissy mood?” He released a sigh and softened his voice, trying his best to tread lightly and keep you calm, “Peach, did I do something wrong?”

You watched his shoulders slump a bit and took a deep breath to center yourself. “No, Jake, you- It’s just been a long day and time is dragging…I’m exhausted, hun.” You grabbed his wrists, pulling him away from the door and towards you. “Sorry for being cranky…”

“Why are your hands shaking?” He stared at your grip on his arms before looking at your face, waiting for an answer.

Releasing him, you studied your hands for a moment and shook them out. The nausea rolling through your stomach made it obvious that you needed to eat, but you wouldn’t tell Jake that you’d skipped an actual lunch because of him. “Probably just too much caffeine today…I’m fine, babe, really.” You could tell that he wasn’t quite buying it, but you didn’t have the energy to argue with him. Stepping closer, you wrapped your arms around his midsection and flashed him a sweet smile, “Tell you what… Drop it and… I will give you a pass for one storage room quickie, available to you at a later date of your choosing.”

His lips stretched into a grin as he returned your embrace with a genuine laugh, his hands sneaking down to squeeze your ass. “Why can’t I have it today?” He began kissing along your jaw, trailing down your throat.

You giggled at the way his lips tickled your skin. “Haven’t you had enough of me today?” You pulled at his shirt as his lips continued their exploration, sucking at your neck. “Jake…” You gasped when he bared his teeth to softly bite your skin.

He spoke between kisses, slowly chipping away at your resolve. “Never enough, peach… C’mon. It’s slow… We got fifteen minutes to spare.” His rasped voice was enticing and you allowed him to draw you in as his hands slid beneath your shirt to cup your bare breasts.

“You think fifteen minutes is enough time to-.” A loud knocking on the door cut you off, making you jump.

Even muffled through the door, Olivia’s annoying voice still wiggled its way under your skin as she twisted at the doorknob. “Jake? Why is the door locked? I need help out here!” Jake dropped his hands with a sharp huff when you broke away from him to grab a stack of CDs from a shelf, as to not look suspicious. He ripped the door open and glared at her, waiting for an explanation. “I need- or I can’t find…umm…” She was flustered by the way he was staring at her, obviously never having been on the receiving end of your boss’s bad attitude.

He wasn’t playing into her usual ruse this time, clearly displeased with being interrupted. “I told you we’d be back in a minute, what was so important that it couldn’t wait, Olivia?” He watched her repeatedly open and close her mouth, searching for any kind of excuse she could conjure, but she remained silent, staring at him like a lost child. “Right… Excuse me.” He moved by her to exit the storage room without another word.

She gazed after him in shock before turning her attention on you. “What the hell… What did you say to him?” Shaking your head with a scoff, you pushed past her to exit the room with the stack of albums, but she followed closely behind you as her tone grew more accusatory. “You’ve been jealous of the relationship Jake and I have since you started here, Y/N. So what? You sneak him away to bribe him with sex or something? God…you’re such a desperate-.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and turned to face her as you dropped the CDs to the front counter. “Olivia, you better fucking watch what you say next…” You’re sure there was steam coming out of your ears because you could feel your face getting hot with anger. “I don’t need to throw myself at Jake for attention, honey… So who’s really the desperate one?” You stepped closer to her, silently challenging her to finish her thought.

Jake was inserting himself between the two of you before she could reply. “Both of you cut it the fuck out… Y/N, go sit in the office until you’ve calmed down.” He gave you a pointed look and nodded toward the office door while Olivia smiled smugly from behind him.

You could feel your blood begin to boil. “Are you joking? No. You’re not sending me off for a timeout, I haven’t fucking done anything wrong!” Picking up the stack of CDs, you spun around to walk away and stock them but Jake caught your arm. You ripped out of his grasp and met him with a threatening scowl.

“What…is going on?” Josh walked out of the back hallway and right into the building tension between his twin, you and Olivia. “It’s been two hours… What happened between when I left and now?”

Jake broke the staredown first, his eyes leaving yours to look at his brother. “I’ve got it handled, don’t worry about it. What are you doing here?”

Josh’s eyes flicked between you and Jake, trying to decipher what was going on, as he held up a takeout box. “I, uhhh. I went to Slice House to grab dinner and wanted to drop something off for-.”

“I’m not hungry right now, just put it in the fridge.” Jake’s words were rushed as he cut his twin off to watch you turn around and walk away from him. “We’re not fucking done.” He started after you, the aggravation radiating off of him.

“Oh… No, this is for Y/N.”

He froze in place to turn and face Josh, “Why are you bringing her dinner?” His possessive nature was coming out full force as he clenched his jaw and waited for an answer. You were standing a few feet away, half turned to them as you placed the albums on a shelf, but you were listening to their exchange.

“Why are you being a dickhead, dude?” Josh shook his head with a laugh, rubbing his hand down his face. “She hasn’t eaten anything all day and if she starves to death, there goes our best employee.” He looked at you with a smile when Olivia scoffed and opened his mouth to speak, but Jake beat him to it.

“What do you mean she hasn’t eaten anything?” He turned back to you, his frustration slowly dissipating and replaced by something else. “Why haven’t you ate?” He took a few strides to close the distance between you and grabbed your wrists, holding them up in his hands. “That’s why you’re shaking… Are you fucking- Why didn’t you eat a lunch?”

You almost melted at his concern, but the accusatory tone in his inquiry made you pull your arms from his grasp. “God, Jake. I don’t know… Can’t really remember what I was doing on my lunch break. Must not have been too important for me to have forgotten so soon.” You knew you were being harsh, but you weren’t in the mood to deal with anything anymore. Especially not his attitude.

His nostrils flared as he glared angrily at you, his expression was dark but he almost looked hurt. Jake bit his lips together, closing his eyes for a moment, and drew in a deep breath through his nose. When he opened his eyes again, his voice was quiet, soft even. “Take your food and go home, peach.” He held his hand up, shaking his head slightly, when you tried to argue. “Don’t. Clock out and go.” And with that, he walked away, trucking down the back hallway and slinking into the bathroom to slam the door shut.

Josh and Olivia were both staring at you, shocked expressions painting their faces, but you ignored them as you stomped to the office to clock out and grab your things. When you came out, moving straight for the front door to walk home, Josh caught up to you and caught your arm. “Y/N, wait… Your food.” He held the box up to you and you offered a soft smile and a mumbled ‘thanks’ as you took it pushed through the front door.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding…” A groan of frustration left your chest at the downpour you’d stepped into. It was like the sky opened up and dumped out every ounce of water the clouds held. What a day to walk. Taking a deep breath, you took a step out from the ripped and disheveled awning above the record store door, but a pair of arms were reaching out to yank you back into Highway Tunes. Turning in his hold, you were met by the fluff of curls and big brown eyes. “Josh, what are-.”

“I’m not letting you walk home in the rain. My car is out back, I’ll drop you off.” He was already walking away, not even stopping to check that you were following. Crossing through the backdoor, Josh placed a hand on your back and led you to his car, ushering you into the passenger seat, before rushing to climb into his own side. “Hasn’t rained like this in months…” He was shaking his hair out as he started the engine and put the car in reverse to back out of the space, gripping your headrest to look out the rear window, “Where do you live, sweetheart?” He pulled out of the small parking lot and drove towards the main road as he waited for you to give him directions.

You were staring out the window, watching the rain patter into puddles along the street, entirely oblivious to Josh’s voice. It wasn’t until he stretched his arm across the center console to carefully squeeze your thigh and give it a shake to get your attention that you finally looked at him. “Huh? I’m sorry… Did you say something?”

His hand lingered on your leg for a few moments before he pulled away and rested it on the shifter. “You gotta tell me where you live or you’re coming back to my place, YN.” He joked with a gentle chuckle as he glanced at you.

His laugh made you smile, instantly lifting your foul mood. “Oh. Uhh, if you make a left up here, on 16th, and go for about four blocks, I’ll let you know when we get to my building.” The drive was mostly quiet, save for the music playing on the radio, until he pulled the car up to your apartment building. You dug your keys from your bag as he put the car in park. “Thanks for the ride, Josh…and for the food. You really didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it.”

“It’s not a big deal,” He waved you off, turning his body to face you, as he pointed to his own food in the backseat. “I was picking something up for myself and wondered if you ever got the chance to try the Drunken Italian… So I grabbed you a slice.” When you looked down at the takeout box in your lap, too large to hold just one slice of pizza, you raised an eyebrow at him. “What? I got you a classic pepperoni and a plain slice too. Wasn’t sure what you liked.” He shrugged sheepishly, his cheeks growing red.

You grasped the door handle and paused before you opened it. “Hey… You wanna come up and hangout for a bit? Eat, watch a movie or something? Bell’s at work until eight and I kind of just don’t wanna be alone.” He bit down on his lip for a moment and you expected him to decline at that point, but to your surprise, he asked where he should park his car. “Oh, just go down that side street and there’s parking right on the side of the building.” Once he had the car tucked into a spot, you both hopped out and headed inside. Josh kicked his shoes off beside yours and followed you into the kitchen as you flicked the light on. “I’m gonna go change real quick, make yourself at home, boss… Sam surely does.” Stalking into your bedroom, you grabbed some comfy clothes and slipped into the bathroom for a speedy body shower.

Josh was still in the kitchen when you came back, leaning against the countertop while he scrolled on his phone. He looked up when he heard you, his gaze lingering on your smooth legs, clad in a pair of old boxers, for a bit before they traveled up to see the faded Highway Tunes t-shirt that you took from his twin’s closet. “Where’d you get that? I haven’t seen that design in like…seven years.” He came closer, pinching the fabric between his fingers to examine the logo.

“Uhh. It’s actually Jake’s.” You looked down at the shirt back at him, “He let me borrow it and I just haven’t given it back yet… It’s- I don’t know. I just like it, I guess.” You watched as he dropped his hand and took a couple steps back and opted for a subject change. “You want something to drink? Bellamy keeps beer. Or we have water or probably some coke or-.”

“Water is fine, sweetheart.” He picked the boxes up from the counter after you grabbed a couple bottles from the fridge and followed you into the living room.

You sat down on the couch and gestured for him to sit as well, leaving a decent bit of distance between the two of you, as you lifted the remote to turn the tv on. “What do you wanna watch?” You turned to look at him after opening netflix.

He was already digging into his pizza, eyes wide and mouth full as he looked back at you, “Sorry…” He held a hand over his mouth as he finished chewing, “Whatever you want, Y/N. I’ll watch anything.”

You giggled at him, beginning to love the way his cheeks flushed when he got a little embarrassed. Shaking your head softly, your focus went back to the tv as you scrolled through the options. After a minute or so, your attention caught on a title, “Oh my god! They have Pretty In Pink on here!” You didn’t wait for Josh to react before you were clicking on the movie to start it. “You don’t mind, do you? It’s one of my favorites…” You were poking your lip out at him and pairing it with pleading eyes.

“No. No, go ahead. I’ve never seen it.” He was grinning with amusement at your excitement. “This is the one that you said had the record store in it, right?” Josh took another bite of his pizza, studying your face, as you sat back on the couch and opened your own box.

“Yeah. Trax! I swear, you’ll know exactly what I mean when you see it.” You settled in as the movie began and it wasn’t long before the takeout boxes were empty, discarded to the coffee table, and you were tucked under the throw blanket, quoting the scenes and offering unnecessary explanations to Josh. “Hey, Benny… I hope they shrivel up and fall off…” You glanced at him as you finished the quote and found his soft eyes already on you, a warm smile on his lips. “Sorry. God, I’m sorry.” You could feel the blush covering your cheeks as you buried your head in your hands. “It’s a bad habit… Bellamy always yells at me for quoting through movies.”

His hand curled gently around your wrist to pull one of your hands away so he could see your face. “Don’t apologize. I think it might be one of my new favorite things about you.” A quiet laugh escaped him as he released your arm. “I don’t think you realize that you’re doing it. It- it’s like a subconscious thing.” When you tilted your head, pinching your brows in question, he elaborated on his thought. “You don’t always say the lines out loud. Most of the time, you just mouth them to yourself…but every so often, it’ll slip out and you kind of giggle through it, so I’d assume those are your favorite parts.” He leaned forward to grab his water from the table, turning his attention back to the movie.

You stared at him for a moment, wondering if he’d been watching you the whole time. “Josh, did you-.” Your phone began to ring from where it sat on the coffee table, cutting you off. You stared at the illuminated screen, Jake’s name in bold letters at the top, and allowed it to go to voicemail.

“You gonna pick it up?” Josh asked when a second call came in and you shook your head, waiting for the screen to go black again. “He’s gonna be pissed if you don’t answer him, Y/N.” You remained silent as the phone lit up once more, with a text message this time. “Look… I know he can be a little hotheaded, but-.”

Leaning forward, you flipped the phone face down and sat back again before pointing to the television. “Wait! This is my favorite part!” Iona cranks the volume on the stereo as Try a Little Tenderness begins to play. “Watch, hun! It’s the best, I promise.” Your face lifted into a grin as you reached over and grabbed Josh’s arm to make sure he was paying attention.

He placed his hand over yours, sending a flare of warmth through your body. “I’m watching, sweetheart…” And he was. But his eyes weren’t on the TV.

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Josh POV

It was like her smile grew tenfold when the scene started. You couldn’t look at the TV, despite her request. All of your focus was on the white hot feeling of her skin on yours, unlike anything you’d ever felt from a single touch. She sang through the scene, bouncing about from where she sat, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of her; her hair was bundled into a bun at the base of her neck. Loose tendrils, damp from her shower, had fallen free and hung around her face. She smelled like jasmine and…vanilla? No. Jasmine and coconuts. You wondered if the boxers she was wearing were from an old boyfriend or maybe they were her dad’s? The faded logo on her t-shirt caught your attention. Did she know that shirt belonged to Ivy? Did Jake tell her that when he gave it to her?

She snapped her head towards you, her eyes shining as she crooned, “…Squeeze her…don’t tease her…never leave her…” She was laughing wildly, her grasp on your arm tightening the harder she sang and you started laughing with her. When the song finally ended, she was breathless, her body slumping back against the couch and falling towards you.

You gave her a few moments to catch her breath, looking down at where her head just barely laid on your shoulder. “Y’know…this might be my favorite movie too, Y/N.” Your heart felt like it stopped when she looked up at you with a shy smile, her cheeks the sweetest shade of pink, and let out a childlike giggle. “God, you’re beautiful…” The thought slipped out before you could stop it and you worried that maybe you’d ruined the moment.

Her grin stretched as she relaxed into you, “I think you’re more beautiful, boss.” The sound of the front door opening stole her attention. “Bellamy’s home. She’s gonna be excited to meet you…” Her voice oozed with sarcasm, causing you to raise your eyebrow in question, and she sat up straight just as her friend was coming in, whispering quietly, “Jake made…quite the first impression. Umm…just don’t take it personally, okay?” You gave a short nod before she greeted the other girl. “Hey, Bell. How was work, babe?”

She ignored Y/N’s question and looked directly at you, her lips pursed, “Are you the other one?” Her arms were crossed over her chest as she waited for an answer and you took a moment to study her. She was exactly how you’d pictured, given how much your little brother raved about her.

“I’m assuming you mean Jake’s counterpart? The handsome twin? The smart one?” You joked, hoping to earn a laugh or at least a smile from her. “I’m Josh.” You held a hand out to her for a friendly shake, but she shook her head. Sammy did say she was a spitfire.

Y/N spoke up from beside you, “Don’t be a dick, B. Give him a chance… it’s not fair to lump him with Jake.” She leaned over, bumping you with her shoulder, “Josh is an angel.”

“An angel, huh? So…what does that make Jake, sweet pea?” Before she could answer her friend, there was a knock on the door that caused the two girls to share a questioning look. Bellamy turned on her heel to stalk to the door and pull it open. “Speak of the devil…”

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You watched in slow motion as he pushed through the door and past Bellamy, despite her protests. “What? You can’t answer a fucking text? A phone call?” He was mad, that much was clear, and the store shouldn’t have been closed for another half hour, so you were sure the shock on your face was evident.

“What the hell are you doing here, Jake?” You tossed the blanket from your legs and stood up from the couch to face him. Bellamy was behind him, waiting for a sign to toss him out of the apartment, while Josh remained silent in his seat, watching the scene unfold.

“Do you see how it’s fucking storming out there?” He pointed towards the balcony where the pounding rain was only visible between flashes of lightning, “I didn’t know if you made it home and you wouldn’t pick up the goddamn phone! I was worried, Y/N…” He looked at his twin then, anger radiating off of him, “No surprise…you’re cuddled up with my fucking brother.”

Josh stood up then, placing himself between you and Jake, “We watched a movie and ate pizza, Jake. As friends.” He gestured between the two of you to get his point across, “That’s all we are, man. We’re just…friends.” He gave you a small, sympathetic smile before turning back to his twin, “If you don’t start treating her differently, you’ll end up a lot less than that.” Scooping up his keys and phone from the coffee table, he offered you a soft goodbye and pushed past his brother, only stopping to look at your best friend, “It was nice to meet you, Bellamy.” He paused as he was stepping through the front door and you could tell that he was fighting on whether to say what he wanted to or keep it to himself. The moment stretched on for an eternity before he finally spoke, avoiding your eyes entirely, as he looked at Jake, “She chose you, Jake… Try being fucking grateful.”

You watched him go, closing the door behind him, and began cleaning up the mess from the table after shutting the TV off. When you started towards the kitchen, Jake stepped in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders, “Can you talk to me for a minute, please?” He followed you as you moved around him and threw the empty boxes into the garbage can. “Peach, please…” He gently grabbed your arm as you tried to silently exit the kitchen.

Calmly peeling yourself from his hold, you kept your head down. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you, Jake. I’m going to bed.” You could feel his presence behind you as he followed you into your room and closed the door. Finally turning to face him, you caught the flash of guilt in his eyes as he stood silently and waited for you to kick him out or tell him to stay. “He was right, yanno?.... I chose you, Jake.” He opened his mouth but you held your hand up to stop him, “If you don’t have trust in me, this won’t work. If I can’t have friends without you accusing me of something, this won’t work. Do you get that?” You plopped down on your bed with a sigh, “I’m not gonna keep having the same fights with you… I can’t.”

“I’m fucking trying, peach.” He came across the room to sit beside you, taking your hand in his. “Trust is hard for me. I told you-.”

“But you won’t tell me why!” You pulled your hand away and dragged them both down your face, “Help me understand, Jake! Let me see your point of view, because I won’t keep fucking doing this shit!” You breathed out a steady sigh and stood up to pull the duvet back and climb into bed.

You assumed he would leave when he stood up from the bed, but you were surprised when he stripped down to his boxers and flipped the light off before crawling in beside you and pulling the blanket over the both of you. He didn’t attempt to cuddle up to you, just laid on his back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. You laid on your side, facing him, just barely able to make out his features through the flashes of lightning that would illuminate the room every few moments. The silence was growing and taking all the air in the room, it was becoming suffocating, you felt like you were losing your mind. Then came Jake’s voice; soft, sad, barely a whisper, “I was gonna give up everything for her… I really loved her, Y/N.” The tone of his voice broke your heart and you reached out carefully, placing your hand on the center of his chest to encourage him to continue. His body tensed beneath your touch, but he took a deep breath and slowly began to relax, “She loved me too. For a while, at least… I think deep down, I knew that she was checked out towards the end, but I was in denial.” He paused when his voice started to shake and you rolled closer to him.

“Take your time, baby. I’m here.” You held him close, pressing your lips to his shoulder. “Do you wanna start from the beginning?”

He shook his head, chewing at the skin on his lip. “The beginning isn’t important… We were together for two years before she wanted to move to New York. I was gonna do it. Drop my life, my family, everything, just to fucking follow her.”

“What made you stay?”

“When Josh and I decided that we weren’t going to college, mom and dad chose to pass the store to us. They loved the business, but after 20 years of running it and raising a family, they wanted a break.” A fleeting smile ghosted across his lips, “Josh didn’t wanna do it by himself, Sam was still in high school and had his mind set on CCA after graduation… I wanted to go with Ivy, but Highway Tunes was- is my life. It meant everything to my parents but it meant just as much to me. It’s where we grew up… Spent more time there than at our house. I guess my mistake was thinking that she would understand.”

You sat up in the bed, crossing your legs beneath you and looking down at him, “So, she left for New York without you?” You were trying to put the pieces together.

Jake placed his hand on your thigh, his thumb mindlessly grazing over your skin. “She stayed here with me. But she didn’t stay for me… She stayed for herself. She didn’t have to work, didn’t have to pay bills. I took care of her, I took care of everything… I gave her a life that most people would be grateful to have. And I thought she was.”

“What did she do, Jake?” You pulled your knees up, hugging them to your chest as a wave of sickness rolled through your body at the thought of what she could’ve done to hurt him.

He sat up as well and, despite the dark room, you could feel his eyes on you as he reached out and took your hand in one of his. “Peach, you…make me happy in a way that I haven’t felt…in a really long time.” He brought your hand to his mouth, holding your knuckles against his lips for a moment and you felt your stomach flip as tears began to sting your eyes. “I’m really fucked up, Y/N.” His voice cracked but you let him continue, “That last year was when things started to get bad…I uhhh- I started to notice a change when she would ask me for money to get groceries for the apartment and I’d come home to find the cabinets empty. When I would ask her about it, she would make me feel fucking crazy…Tell me that she never said she was getting groceries or that I was working too much, so the exhaustion must have confused me.”

“Jake…” You wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn’t have to talk about it anymore, but he didn’t give you the opportunity.

“That shirt you’re wearing right now- do you remember when I told you she was wearing it the last morning I woke up with her?” You nodded your head and, even though he couldn’t see your face, he kept talking, “I was supposed to work the double that day but I got hit with a bad cold, had Josh come in and close for me… When I got home, Ivy was in the shower and I thought it would be nice to join her. We hadn’t really had time for intimacy, I guess. But she wasn’t alone in there.” Jake released a humorless laugh, “She wasn’t even remorseful…I think that’s what hurt the most. Hurt more than her telling me I was nothing, that I didn’t deserve her. I asked her, What did I do wrong? I love you, I gave you everything… and she laughed in my face and said, ‘You gave me everything. Why would I leave?’” He was holding your hand, tracing his fingers over your palm as his voice grew quieter, “After she admitted that she hadn’t loved me in a while, she was using me, I left. Flew to Michigan to stay with my parents for a few days and clear my head. When I came back, she was gone… Cleaned most of the apartment out, left a note. I didn’t read it, I couldn’t. I just threw it in the trash and moved on.” He fell silent after concluding, his index finger still traveling over your hand.

You sat, unmoving, unsure of what to say or if you should even say anything, until a wet drop landed on your palm and you felt your heart stop. “Baby, no…” You sat up on your knees and flung your arms around him, holding him tight to your chest. “Jake, I’m so sorry. I-.” His body shook in your hold and your own tears started to fall. Seeing his vulnerability, under the circumstances, filled you with sorrow.

He wrapped his arms around your torso, clinging to your body as he moved to lay down, pulling you with him. “It fucking hurt, Y/N… It hurt for so long…”

You held his face, swiping at his wet cheeks as you sniffled, “She’ll never hurt you again, Jake. I promise. Nobody will…”

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@jakekiszkasbuttsweat @ieatedasammy @twistedmelodies @dropdeadalyx31 @ageofbajabule @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @ignite-my-fire @becinabubblegvf @literal-dead-leaf @sanguinebats @myleftsock @laneygvf @writingcold @sinarainbows @lipstickitty @giraffehippy @jakesmustache @gracev0609 @gretavansara @profitofthedune @gvfmarge @brookekiszkaa @earthgrlsreasy @welllauragvf @takenbythemadness @swim2shore @violet-hayes @stardustvanfleet @gretavangroupie @jordie-gvf

#cassie’s fic recommendation #jake kiszka gvf #jake x reader #josh kiszka gvf #josh x reader #jake gvf #josh gvf #jake kiszka series #josh kiszka series #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet fan fiction

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joshfuckingkiszka · 1 year ago

Text

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔲𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔳𝔞𝔲𝔩𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔡

joshua michael kiszka - end game

jacob thomas kiszka - dress

daniel robert wagner - king of my heart

samuel francis kiszka - call it what you want

bonus - daniel robert wagner - delicate

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ageofbajabule · 11 months ago

Text

Dawn of Love | Chapter 4

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety, Sad Jake (just a little scene), Protected Sex, Depression, Talk of Cancer, Arguing, Fear of Abandonment, Mention of Death. (Please let me aware if I miss any!)

If you haven’t read Chapter 3 be sure to do so! And here is the Masterpost for the series.

Author’s Note: Hey!! I know it’s been a long time coming for this update, and I’m sorry it’s not a huge update. Time jumps are happening, especially within the next chapter as well. This chapter is really a filler, but it also adds more to the story that will make sense as it progresses so I do hope you enjoy it. I make sure that my work is up to par, and always give it my all. We’re almost halfway through the series!☺️

October 2014

All the trees have turned over, leaves starting to finally fall off the trees. Michigan was beautiful this time around, and Josh knew it was your favorite season. Perfect time for sweaters and hoodies, bonfires, apple picking and pumpkin patches.

University was offering a fall break a week before Halloween weekend. Josh had opted in making sure you guys had your halloween costumes planned out for Halloweekend here on campus. The costumes he had picked out were great for the two of you.

Josh had mentioned to his parents that the two of you would be staying over at their place for your fall break. Within the past month, your relationship with your dad hasn't been the greatest. He was still concerned about you attending school for a film and photography major. He still thought you should major in something that would “Logically” benefit you.

You felt bad about not staying at home to at least spend time with your mom and sister. But made sure to tell them you would spend time with them before you returned back to campus.

Josh and yourself had been extremely busy working on a film project that was due before your winter break. It was worth 60 percent of your grade. And he was taking every single measure and precaution for this film project. He was making sure the script was perfect, while he had you focus on costumes, make-up. And the two of you together focused on settings, themes, locations and how you were going to film it.

Jake was kind enough to help his twin out with another film. Even Ronnie had decided to join in on the project, a little family affair if you will. Josh said he trusted them to kill their roles they had been assigned. You even had your sister be a part of it as well.

It was finally Friday, Josh and you had your last class of the day. This weekend began your fall break, and the guys had a gig tomorrow night at Fischer Hall. They were excited to be performing there, they actually had been asked to come back a few times as the locals loved their performance. You were absolutely thrilled for them.

On the drive back home, you and Josh had made sure to stop by your house first as your dad was out for the day and your mom and sister were home. You hated having to avoid him, but just did what was best for yourself.

Upon arriving you and Josh made your way into the house, smelling your mom’s baking and hearing your sister’s music playing in the house. “Mom? Olivia?” You called out, walking into the kitchen you find your mom and sister baking cookies.

“Oh hi sweetie! I didn’t even hear you come in.” Your mother giggled softly dusting the flour off of her hands, pulling you in for a hug.

“I was wondering why it smelled so good in here.” You giggled hugging her back. Josh went to hug your sister while your mother kept hugging you.

“Your father is out for the whole day. Went on a fishing trip with the guys.” Your mom pulled away, and immediately went to hug Josh.

You walked over to your sister pulling her in for a hug. “Are they driving you insane these days?” You giggled.

“Always…” She laughed, hugging you tightly.

“Are you guys hungry? I was going to order takeout.” Your mom smiled as she resumed mixing the batter.

Josh and you both nodded in agreement. “Whatever you had in mind will be fine.” He smiled softly.

“I was thinking chinese.” Your mom hummed softly, as she continued to finish making up batches of cookies.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, catching up on what’s been going on for you with college. And your sister’s sophomore year, and how close her, Sam and Danny have gotten since you’ve gone off to college. It was nice to catch up with them as you hardly got to call them lately. You’ve been so busy with everything and felt ashamed for not reaching out more.

“Well sweetie, I’ve made up a jar of cookies for you to take back with you to campus. But you can grab them before you go back.” She smiled, putting the jar away to not be touched.

“Thank you mom, for everything. I really don’t know what I’d do without you…” You smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

“Oh, I’ll always be here for you. You know that…” She rubbed your back, hugging you tighter.

“Now, don’t be a stranger you two!” She pulled away smiling at the both of you.

You said your goodbyes to your sister, then headed over to Josh’s place.

Josh opted for parking in the street, as he wanted to let his parents have access to the driveway. He helped grab your bag from the backseat as you entered the house, you could hear his dad playing his harmonica and laughing from inside the family room.

The two of you went downstairs to the basement, preparing the pullout bed. While setting your things down there. Eventually Karen came downstairs to greet the two of you.

“Oh you guys made it in!” She smiled softly pulling you both in for a tight hug.

“Hi mom.” Josh chuckled softly, rubbing her back.

“How have classes been?” She pulled away, putting her hands on her hips.

You and Josh look at each other not sure who to let speak first, but then Josh cuts in.

“Classes have been great! Y/N and I have quite a few together, but some others we don’t.” He rubbed your arm softly.

“Yeah, Josh has been a great help though as well. I thought for sure I was gonna be lost on campus.” You giggled softly.

“It’s nice that the two of you have each other… I’m sure you’ve made plenty of friends though.” She smiled brightly. You smile softly, seeing how similar Josh and Karen’s smiles were.

“That we have. It’s a very different atmosphere, but it’s nice.” Josh smiled.

“Well I know you guys ate already, I talked to your mom Y/N. I’m sure the two of you are tired and want some rest. So I'll leave you to it.” She smiled, kissing Josh and your cheek softly.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Mom.”

“Goodnight Mrs.Kiszka.”

The next day Josh and you were woken up by Jake and Sam bickering.

“No Sam! You can’t just make a last minute change of the setlist. We need to all be in agreement with it.” Jake yelled.

“It’s just because you don’t want to perform this one fucking song!” Sam yelled back at him.

“Samuel Francis!” You heard Karen yell out.

“I’m sorry mom… But seriously Jake. Get over yourself, just say you want total control of it.”

You walked up the steps to see Sam storming past you running upstairs to his room slamming his door shut.

“Good Morning sweetie!” Karen beamed, pulling you into a hug.

You hugged her back, swaying with her. “Good morning!”

She pulled away slowly, and resumed back to making breakfast. Waffles had been made, she was cooking bacon and finishing up the eggs.

“I hope you’re all hungry. Especially for today’s events.” She smiled softly as she finished cooking and getting plates out.

“Let me help you set the table.” You rushed to help her setting the table.

“Thank you.” She smiled, kissing the top of your head.

Eventually Josh made his way from downstairs, heading into the kitchen getting himself orange juice. He helped the two of you with the table.

“Good morning, sunny.” He kissed your cheek softly.

“Good morning.” You hummed softly.

“Samuel, come on down and eat.” Kelly yelled, coming into the dining room.

Everyone eventually piled in, sitting in their normal seats. You could feel the tension between Jake and Sam, as Kelly tried to make a conversation happen with Ronnie. Which worked, Ronnie talked about how she was planning on studying abroad after graduation.

As everyone listened to Ronnie talk about her future plans, you sat back thinking of all the choices you were making lately for yourself. Worrying if you had made the right ones and that you weren’t going to regret then later. But the love you had for photography and film was strong, and you couldn’t see yourself doing anything else but that.

Your thoughts were shortly interrupted by Josh, “What do you think, Sunny?

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” You shook your thoughts away giggling softly.

“My parents were wondering if you wanted to join us this year on our annual ski trip?”

Karen and Kelly were looking at you smiling softly.

“If it’s not a problem, I’d love to join!” You smiled brightly.

“Of course it’s not a problem! You’re a part of the family now.” Kelly chuckled softly.

Arriving at Fischer Hall brought back memories from the first night the guys performed there. They were so nervous, but now they frequently play a show here. And since then they’ve earned quite the audience. You were helping bring gear into the Hall, helping the guys set up.

Since being around them more, you’ve learned where everything goes, how to help tune Jake’s guitar. You’ve probably remembered some notes by now even. But you wouldn’t ever pick up an instrument.

Jake was agitated tonight, it was plain to see in his face. You normally let him come to you if something was bothering him, but tonight was the night you would ask him yourself. He was hanging around the back, pacing back and forth.

“Hey Jake… What’s going on?” You said softly as you treaded lightly.

“Val. She uh. She wanted to-“ He let out a big breath. “She broke things off.” He said flatly, his eyes glossed over.

“Oh Jake… I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” You pulled him into a hug.

He hugged you back tightly, “It only happened just this morning… Hence why I was being an ass to Sam.” He sniffled while chuckling.

You giggled, pulling away slowly, “He’ll understand one day.”

“Yeah, and besides… I should’ve known that she wasn’t going to stick around much longer. She’s in her senior year, and her dad thinks we’re going absolutely nowhere with the band… Maybe it's better off this way.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, I for one think you guys are going places. The talent you all have! Come on.” You smiled softly.

“Thanks Y/N… You have no idea how much that means to us, especially Josh…”

You nodded, smiling softly. “Come on, it’s almost time for y’all to perform.”

Especially Josh… What had he meant by that?

December 2014

Winter break had finally come, Michigan weather wasn’t easy to adjust to. Even after living two winters here. Classes wouldn’t restart until a week after the new year, so you had an entire month of freedom from classes.

Josh and yourself were excited to finally be done with your first semester. Your final project for your film class that the two of you had worked on was a major success.

You had decided on staying at the Kiszka’s house again over your winter break. Things with your dad were still rocky, you were absolutely convinced he would never change his view on your passion.

Arriving at their house, the front lawn and front of the house was decorated in Christmas decor. You smiled softly as Kelly was helping Karen finish the last touches to the snowflake lights they were placing alongside the house.

“Oh hey kiddos! We’re just finishing up.” Karen smiled softly finishing the last touches as Kelly helped her down.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Kiszka!” You smiled hauling your bag with you as Josh followed behind.

“Oh honey please, call me Karen. You’ve known us long enough now, and you’re family.” She giggled softly pulling you in for a hug.

Family. You hadn’t felt so welcomed in what felt like a long time. Sure everything with your sister and mom were good, but since things were still rocky with your dad it made it difficult to feel like a family with them.

“Now we are set to leave around 8am tomorrow. It’s about a 5 hour drive. But the boys always just sleep on the way there.” She giggled softly.

“I’ll be okay to sit in a car for 5 hours. I’ve sat in one for 16…” You groaned remembering back on the trip back to Florida one year.

“Besides, sunny you’ll have me to keep you company.” Josh kissed your cheek softly, he gathered your things, throwing what was going on the ski trip into his parents vehicle. While taking the rest into the house.

Karen ushered you to go inside, you smiled walking into their home seeing their Christmas tree was put up with just the lights.

“We were waiting for the two of you to get home before we decorated the tree.” Karen smiled, pulling the box of ornaments out.

“It's a family tradition to help out decorating the tree together.” Kelly rubbed Karen’s back.

You smiled in awe of them. As they opened the box, revealing all of the ornaments they’ve collected over the years. You smiled softly looking at the ornaments made for each of them for their first christmas. You traced your finger over the details of Josh’s first ornament.

“Oh Josh was the cutest baby…” Karen sighed softly, reminiscing. “All of you were cute!” She laughed, looking at them all.

“It’s okay mom, we know Josh is the favorite.” Ronnie chipped in.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josh bickered back, as Ronnie giggled.

“Mama’s boy.”

“Okay Ronnie. Daddy’s girl.” He rolled his eyes at her. You playfully smacked his arm, “Be nice to your sister.”

He stuck his tongue out at you playfully. The two of you and everyone else started to put ornaments on the tree. After about a few minutes of setting the ornaments in their rightful place the last thing to be added was the star.

“Jake, would you do the honors?” Kelly asked, handing him the star. Jake nodded, taking it from his hands, stepping on the step stool placing the star on top of the tree and plugging it into the lights.

Once he stepped down carefully everyone stood back admiring the tree before Sam plugged it in. “Go ahead Sammy.” Karen smiled at him softly.

Sam then plugged the lights into the outlet, making the tree come to life. It was all colorful and beautiful. Everyone gasped in awe. “Good work everyone.” Karen smiled, clapping her hands.

The rest of the night was spent making dinner with Karen for the family. She ended up making the boy's favorite dish, as well baking some brownies to end the night.

“You know Y/N… You bring the best out in Joshua.” Karen smiled softly as she put away the clean dishes.

You smile softly looking out to the family room seeing Josh getting into a serious card game with his siblings. “I like to think he brings the best out in me…” You blushed, turning your attention back to his mom.

“Anytime he needs help with planning your dates, he always calls me. Freaking out if he’s doing the right things, saying the right things. And I always assure him that he’s doing just fine.” She giggles softly, finishing up with the dishes.

“So you’re the mastermind…” You giggled while taking a sip of your hot tea.

“Ah, not necessarily. I just tell him to speak and think with his heart. I play no part in planning.” She giggled while taking a sip from her mug.

“You are raising great boys Mrs. Kiszka…”

“Call me Karen… We’ve gone past this, you’re family now.” She walked over to you pulling you in for a hug.

You hugged her back tightly. “Thank you guys for letting me be a part of this… It means a lot to me. More than you will ever know.”

“Oh sweetie,” She pulled away slowly, grabbing your face with her hands. “You are always loved and accepted here. Don’t you ever doubt that for a second.”

You felt tears brimming at your eyes. She wiped them away quickly. “I know things have been hard with your father… Your mom and I speak all the time. And I just want you to know, don’t ever be afraid to reach out to us.”

You nodded slowly, gathering yourself. “Thank you…”

“Come on, let’s see what these hooligans are up to.” She patted your arm softly.

The drive to the ski resort wasn’t too bad. A little cramped and bumpy, but fun nonetheless. The cabin they have reserved was beautiful, it was almost similar to the lake house they had. Josh and yourself got your own room, everyone did actually this time. You all unpacked your bags, then got in your skiing gear.

Josh, Jake, and yourself opted for snowboarding on your trip here. Where everyone else was going skiing. You liked the thrill better of snowboarding than skiing. Especially the flexibility that came with snowboarding. You grabbed your board, following behind Jake as Josh walked beside you.

The three of you then hopped onto the lift, taking in the scenery as you went up the trail. “This is really beautiful here…”

Josh smiled, “You’re beautiful.”

“Oh, how original Josh.” Jake chuckled, as you lightly smacked him.

“It’s definitely beautiful out here. We’ve been coming here for what…. 6 years Josh?” He looked at his twin.

Josh then nodded, “Yeah. We used to go to another ski resort for years before we found this one. This one was closer and had a lot more to offer.”

Before you knew it, you reached the top to get off of the lift. You walked over to the hill incline where everyone started to go down the slopes to ride their snowboards.

“Don’t be nervous, it’s a little scary at first. But you’ll get the hang of it.” Josh smiled, rubbing your cheek softly.

“I’ll be fine.” You smiled softly, kissing him.

He kissed you back, then pulled away as he pulled his goggles down and put his mask to cover his face from the harsh wind. In which you did the same, you then placed your feet into your board clipping your feet into place.

Eventually Jake had already made his way down the trail, picking up speed as he went. Like the dare devil he was. You decided to take your time down the slope when you first pushed yourself to go. Josh stayed somewhat behind you to keep an eye out for you. You giggled softly as you started to pick up the speed, and went around people on the trail. Josh now had to keep up with you, you looked back to see he was practically on your tail now.

You could see him shaking his head as he chuckled. You finally reached the bottom of the slope, removing your goggles while looking over at Josh who just stopped.

“Not bad for your first time there, sunny…” He smiled softly.

“I guess I had a good teacher.” You shrugged, laughing softly. Making him shake his head as he broke into laughter.

Late July 2015

First year of college had been relatively the easiest year. But your next year wasn’t going to be, you had even more classes to take this semester than the last two. Assignments were bigger, and tests were worth more to your final grades as you read some of the requirements for said classes.

Josh and yourself had spent most of the summer at each other’s houses. Your father had tried to work better on your relationship, but it was still rocky. You were only ever really home for the sake of your mom and sister. The guys have been picking up more gigs and have recently been working with a record label in talks of potentially signing. You couldn’t be any happier for them.

The guys and yourself took a day trip to their family’s lake house. Josh wanted to get you out of the house and away from home to get your mind off things. He always made sure you were in touch with nature, said it helps cleanse the mind. Which you couldn’t argue with that.

You were looking forward to spend a day away. You hadn’t been giving yourself the much needed time away. Josh had planned a small picnic for the two of you, and made it clear to the guys he didn’t want them bothering the two of you. The two of you walked to the other side of the lake where another dock was at. He laid everything out for your small picnic, where in the distance Sam, Danny and Jake looked like little beings. You never took in how big the land was here.

“Sunny, can you pull out the strawberries?” He smiled softly at you as he placed everything else out. You nodded, reaching into the basket pulling out the strawberries. Noticing they were covered in chocolate.

“How did you know!” You smiled softly, looking over at him.

“A little birdie told me.” He smiled, kissing your cheek.

You blushed at the thoughtfulness. Chocolate covered strawberries were one of your favorite snacks. Especially in the summertime. You pulled one out offering it to Josh first, in which he obliged by taking a bite. He then grabbed one feeding it to you. Giggling softly you eat from his hand.

“Thank you for taking me out today…” You sighed softly.

He nodded, “I figured we could both use a day away from reality.” He grabbed your hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

You looked at all of the trees, listening to the birds chirps and the summer breeze rolling through making the trees bustle. Breathing in the fresh air, as Josh slipped behind you letting you rest against his chest. He began to play with your hair, running it through slowly. Humming contently as he massaged your scalp.

“I love you…” It came out rather quietly from your lips.

“I love you…” You could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

His hand one hand traveled down your arm slowly, lightly tracing down to your wrist and dragging it back up. Giving you goosebumps as he did that. You giggled softly, running your hand along his free hand.

His hand then crept its way across your abdomen, slipping down your waistline slowly as he stills his hand. “Is this okay mama?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, “Y-yes…” You nodded softly, leaning into his touch. As he slipped his hand past your bikini bottoms, his fingers gently brush over your bundle of nerves causing a slight gasp to escape your lips.

“All this for me…” He whispered against the shell of your ear, nibbling at it softly.

“All for you….” You moaned quietly as his ring and middle finger slipped inside of you. He pumped them slowly as he planted kisses down your neck.

Biting your lip softly, you look out at the lake to see if anyone would notice such a lewd scene. But you were broken out of your trance.

“They are too far away from here to even notice… Just let go for me… I know you’re there, I can feel you tightening around my fingers.” He kissed your cheek softly.

You nodded slowly, letting your orgasm wash over you as he kept pumping his fingers. You moaned his name out, he let you come undone holding you close to him. You could feel his erection pressing into your backside.

Sitting up as you turn around to face him you see his honey glazed eyes. You giggled softly, slipping your hand into his swim trunks, taking him firmly in your hand pumping slowly.

“Baby…” His breath hitched,

“Shh… It’s my turn to take care of you.” You smiled softly, pulling his trunks down to reveal his hardened cock. You could see the tip was leaking with his arousal swiping it gently with your thumb rolling it over, causing a hiss from him.

Gently you take him into your mouth, settling yourself between his legs, you took every inch of him slowly without making yourself gag. You had been working on getting better with it, he always assured you that you didn’t have to go down on him. But the thing is, you liked to.

Hearing your name fall from his lips made you hum in response, you started to pick up the pace by using your one hand to stroke him as you bobbed your head up and down. Your saliva coating his cock as you take him into your mouth.

His head rolled back, as his eyes did too. His one hand took a grip to your hair, holding it back for you as you kept sucking him off.

“Baby… You keep going l-like that. I’m not gonna last much longer…” He was twitching slightly, you removed your mouth, sighing softly.

“I need to feel you.” He kissed your lips softly, grabbing a condom from the basket he had made up.

“Always prepared…” You giggled softly, removing your bottoms as he ripped open the package placing the rubber over his dick.

“As much as I’d love to have kids with you, one day. But today’s not the day.” He chuckled, laying you down gently on the towels he brought along. He lined himself up with you, teasing your entrance.

“I thought you were just saying you needed to feel me?” You got cocky with him, earning a shit grin from him.

“Don’t be a brat…” He growled at you. With that he slipped himself inside of you, earning groans from the both of you.

Slowly he began pumping in and out of you with languid strokes. You wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you as your legs wrapped around his waist. He bent down kissing your lips softly, eager to kiss him back, slipping your tongue into his mouth.

Panting for one another has he kept at his strong pace, he lifted your one leg to rest against his chest to get a better angle. To hit deeper, you let out a cry of pleasure. He smirked, kissing the inside of your leg as he kept thrusting harder.

“J-josh…” Your eyes rolled back as he kept hitting that spot he knew so well.

“I know baby…” He moaned out, his hair sticking to his forehead.

You felt the band inside of you ready to snap, with the next few thrusts your thighs started shaking as you let your second orgasm come over you. Josh’s hips stuttered as he came as well, breathing heavily he kissed your lips softly.

“You’re so perfect, my sunshine…”

Early October 2015

Josh and yourself got assigned to the same dorm building again. This time the two of you were on the same floor. Your classes this semester only two of them you shared, whereas all the other courses you were by yourself. But the upperhand of that was room for you to grow.

You started to get more involved in your photography, earning more clients with your work. And take it upon yourself to start a short film with a classmate. Josh encouraged you to take a leap at a new project with a new partner rather than working with him all the time.

Your parents had called you urgently this Friday and asked you to come home for the weekend, in which you couldn’t argue as you missed them. Josh opted to stay on campus this weekend being he had a project to work on.

Arriving home, it was dead silent in the house. You looked around, calling out for anyone.

“In here pumpkin…” Your dad called out, heading towards the dining room is where your family sat. Looking like an intervention.

“What’s going on?” Your nerves are catching up with you now, as you fidgeted with the chair pulling it out to sit beside your sister.

“Y/N, sweetie. Your father… well.” Your mother’s voice was breaking as she tried to speak.

“I have kidney cancer.” He said out flatly.

You felt your heart sink, like an anchor lowering to hold its ship. Tears started to form, “How long have you known…”

“It’s only been 3 months…” Your father choked out.

“Why didn’t you tell me then!” You felt angry with your father and that they waited this long to tell you.

“Because you were getting ready to go back onto campus… And we didn’t want to drop it onto you, until it got serious.” Your mother spoke softly.

“I have to stay here, I can take a couple weeks off. Help around…”

Your parents shook their heads, “No you can’t jeopardize your education.”

You sniffled back tears, “No. I want to take a break. I need to be here with you… We haven’t been on the best of terms, and I’m not going to potentially lose you without spending more time with you.”

“Honey, my days are filled with chemotherapy… I don’t think you want to see me go through all of that…”

“Dad. You have always been there for me, it's our turn. Let me be here for you. Just for a couple weeks? I’ll go back after Thanksgiving break. I can talk to my professors and I'm sure they will understand.” You walked over to him kneeling beside him.

“Pumpkin. It’s shouldn’t be too much of anything to worry about. The doctor’s are hopeful the treatments will work. They’ve seen great results.” He smiled cupping your cheek wiping away your fallen tears.

“I promise I will go back after Thanksgiving break. Just please… Let me be here with you. I will never forgive myself.”

“Alright, fine. But you are going back after Thanksgiving break. And be sure to have all your professors know.” He gave a half smile, hurt that his daughter was giving up her schooling to spend time with him.

It had been 2 weeks since hearing the news, immediately that night you had called Josh letting him know everything. And that you wouldn’t be returning to classes until after Thanksgiving break. He was understanding of your choice and supported it all.

Josh kept you up to date on all the things happening on campus. In which you were grateful for, but it made you feel like you were missing out on so much, although you wanted to be here for your dad through these hard times. Especially with helping your sister get through her junior year, Sam was helping her with her assignments over the last two weeks as well.

Josh’s POV

It has been almost 3 weeks since Y/N found out about her father having cancer. Hearing she was taking a break from school broke my heart, knowing how much it meant to her. But, she always knew what was best for her.

Lately I’ve been questioning what I want to do with my life… Film has always been such a passion for me, but this whole music thing with Jake is really starting to become something. And I’m terrified to even explain that to her, she would be heartbroken to find out I’ve decided to drop out.

I have to do this right…

I decided to pack up my things and make my way home, but not without stopping at Y/N’s first. Parking in her driveway, I get out of my car nervously walking up to the front door knocking softly. Her mother opens the door, surprised to see me.

“Oh my god, Josh… It’s so good to see you sweetie.” She pulled you in for a hug.

“It’s good to see you, is Y/N home?”

She pulled away slowly, nodding her head. “Josh… She’s. She needs you I think more than ever…” You could see the tears forming in her eyes.

Nodding softly, you make way to Y/N’s room. Knocking softly on her door you hear silent sobs. “It’s unlocked…”

You step in quietly finding her lying underneath the covers. “Sunny…”

Hearing her shuffle from under the bed, “Josh?” She sat up fixing her hair, she looked like she had been crying for a while.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You smiled softly as your heart broke looking at her in this state. You slipped your shoes off and slipped under the sheets with her.

She wrapped herself around you tightly, sobbing into your chest. You wrapped your arms around her tightly, running your hand through her hair.

“I’m so scared Josh… I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”

“Hey… Don’t think that way. Everything is going to be fine. He’s going to get through this, he’s a strong man.” You soothed her, kissing the top of her head.

You felt your nerves getting to yourself. It’s now or never Josh…

“Sunny, I have something to tell you…”

She looked up at you, “What’s wrong?”

“So I’m staying home.”

“Oh are you going back after Thanksgiving like me?” She smiled softly, caressing your cheek.

You shook your head slowly, “I actually won’t be returning at all…” You let out under a whisper.

“W-what?” She choked on her words.

“I dropped out, to start focusing on this music thing more with Jake.” There, it was out. You said it.

“Josh I don’t understand… I thought you said film was your dream?” She sat up facing you.

“It is, or was. I don’t know, Jake really thinks we can take off. We’ve been speaking to an agent for some time now…” You held her hands.

She shook her hands away, standing up from the bed. “No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be…” She started sobbing.

Her POV

Josh stood up from your bed. “Sunny…”

“Don’t, sunny me! Josh… You said, you even. You told me you were going to stick with it… Even if you guys went somewhere with this…” You ran a hand through your hair.

“I thought you would be supportive of this!” He was upset now.

“I am, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Josh, this is a lot to handle right now…” You sighed.

“You don’t think I know that? Your mother was crying to me, worried about you. That has me worried sick. I’m not going anywhere, just because I’m not chasing after my original dream doesn’t mean I’m not excited about this new journey.” He grabbed you by the shoulders making you look at him.

“Josh… But what if you leave me? What if you find someone that…” You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“Y/N, I love you. And I’m always going to be here. You’re my sunshine. Forever. I’m not going anywhere.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Promise.” You looked at him scared.

“Promise.” He held your hand up kissing it softly.

“No more secrets. I want to know everything…” You sighed softly.

He nodded in agreement, “I won’t hide anything… I swear.”

You nodded, wrapping yourself in his arms, hugging him tightly as you sobbed in his arms from everything that was going on. You felt alone, but you knew you weren’t. It was hard times right now, and you could only hope that they would get better. Or so you thought…

To be continued

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obetrolncocktails · 2 years ago

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If this is it now | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 1

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: anger, breakup, sorrow, loneliness--basically everything that comes with a long distance break up.

Summary: It's not like him. It's not like him to not call, or to not text. But then again, after how little you spoke with him over the last few weeks, you were beginning to question if you really did know him.

The sun rose, spilling rays of crisp light upon your bed linens. You watched through squinted eyelids as tiny particles danced aimlessly in the light. To be so careless, drifting to the whims of the room’s draft–it was a peace that now only filled you with loneliness– it was beginning to consume you. Rolling over, you found untouched pillows and rested your head on the cool fabric, yet another indicator of the empty side of the bed. His impression wasn’t pressed into the sheets anymore and his scent no longer lingered about your home. It had been weeks since Josh had made the trip to London to see you. It was a strategic decision the two of you had made knowing that he would be swamped with tour dates and obligations before you both knew it. You knew that it was selfish to feel the way you did, but nothing helped to ease your sorrow.

Since the day he left, you could count the interactions between the two of you on your fingers, losing hope of hearing from him. So many calls went to voicemail, too many texts left unanswered or halted with short-changed responses that filled you with annoyance and longing for his attention.

“Josh, are you happy?” You send the text message with no follow up.

The early morning hours passed and you forgot that you had even sent it in the first place. You had moved from your bed to your couch, having trouble making yourself do anything of value. You spent most of the afternoon falling in and out of sleep, flipping through different shows to occupy you.

“What do you mean, baby?” You took a while to debate what to send as a response.

“Nothing, I hope you’re having a good day.” You withdrew completely. Today was your birthday–and from him? Nothing. You didn’t have the energy to argue with him, and in truth, you didn’t want to. You ached for his touch–anything that would remind you that he actually loved you and more importantly, that he wanted you, but he had forgotten about you.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Can I call you after rehearsal? Shouldn’t last too long tonight.”

“I’m fine, Josh. I’m tired. Probably won’t be up much longer.”

“Josh? You never call me Josh–I’ll call you as soon as I’m done.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you turned the phone over and set it on the coffee table, rising from the depths of the couch that had been swallowing you, much like the sorrow that had taken over. You brought yourself to take a shower and get dressed, and it did make you feel better, even if it was in the most miniscule way.

You had never felt this disconnected from him. Dread began to leak into almost every moment of the day, tarnishing your mood about almost everything. It was noon in Nashville, the time difference separating you both by seven hours. You knew that his promise would be broken as soon as any good idea filled the rehearsal space. You’d be long forgotten by then. You lost hope of interaction by the time seven PM rolled around in Nashville, setting your phone to ‘do not disturb.’ Your eyes burned from staying up so late for his attention.

“Sorry, baby, Got caught up with the boys–on to something great.”

You left his message drifting unanswered, just like the particles you had watched earlier in the morning, except this time the action was filled with unease and brokenheartedness. You drowned yourself in the nearest shitty bottle of wine you could find, falling asleep halfway into the bottle. Your arms and legs splayed sloppily over the edge of the couch, your tv flashing images upon the pale walls of your living room. You woke up to find your carpeted floor stained dark red, the wine bottle having tipped over from your restless sleep. “Fuck!” You spat the words at yourself. You wobbled to the hallway, grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet and wetting it in the nearest sink before returning to the stain, dabbing at it the best you could. Just as you expected, the stain only feathered into a larger blob as you wiped, ruining the carpet further. “Goddamn it!” You shouted, flinging the dripping rag at the nearest wall, watching as crimson liquid spattered upon the surface before dripping miserably all the way to the floor.

Your phone rang just in time to pause your outburst. Josh’s contact picture popped up–it was a photo of the two of you, him pulling you in from the side, kissing you on your cheek. His eyes pinched closed with a bright smile. The photo that filled you with butterflies now filled you with anger. You both couldn’t have looked happier in that moment, and it was true. You remembered that day with a longing that tore you apart.

“Hello,” You said, pulling the phone to your ear. Your voice was coated with grogginess and sleep.

“Hey–I know it’s about two o’clock your time, wanted to check in.” Two?! You pulled the phone from your ear, checking the time. 2:09 P.M.

“Oh, uh. Wow, didn’t realize it was so late,” you responded, offering a half chuckle. You reached up with a free hand to absently scratch at your scalp.

“Slept in, didn't you, sleepy head?” Josh’s tone was light. He seemed to be trying today.

“Yeah, we’ll say that.” Your responses were short and they didn’t give Josh much room to respond, making conversation hard. In truth, you really didn’t care. You wanted him to feel the way that his lack of communication and care had made you feel.

“So I wanted to say sorry about last night. We got caught up and I just didn’t want to reach out when I knew you’d be aslee–”

“It’s fine.” You cut him off promptly, knowing the script all too well.

“Y/n,” he contested.

“I can’t do this today, Josh. I just can’t.”

“You can’t talk to me?” He asked simply, the words setting you ablaze.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you. You forgot my fucking birthday!”

There was silence on his end and you were sure he was looking at the date. You waited for him. “Oh my god.” Another silence, then a drawn out sigh. “Y/n. I am so sorry, baby. I-....I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” His voice sputtered nervously, stopping and starting, finally giving up when he had nothing better to say.

“You don’t just fucking desert your girlfriend when you become busy, Josh. Do you realize how selfish that is? You’ve whittled me down to little more than a pen pal.” Both ends of the phone call remain silent for several excruciating seconds. “Even when you were here, you were distant. You couldn’t even focus when we were fucking–” You stopped yourself from drilling further. You had even hurt yourself.

“I was jet lagged and stressed–dealing with tour preparation, execs breathing down my back. I didn’t mean to-”

“Cut the bullshit, Josh,” You cut him off mid-sentence. “ Something has changed between us, and it’s fucking killing me. I just don’t know how much longer I can be strung along begging for the attention that you can’t give. Living halfway across the world doesn’t help.”

“Y/N. Why are you doing this? I love you.”

“I love you more than you could possibly understand, Josh–But loving me just isn’t enough anymore. I feel unbelievably lonely in this relationship.”

“Are we really doing this over a shitty phone call right now, Y/N? I can fix this. As soon as the tour is over I will come see you.”

“Josh, just stop. You won’t be able to see me until July. I don’t think I can pretend for that long.”

“Pretend to love me?” He asked, growing more and more upset.

“Pretending to act like this relationship is going to work. The distance is hard enough, but with you touring and making the new album…there’s just no room for me.”

“Y/n, please don’t do this. Not like this.” He pleaded with you through the phone.

“Goodbye Josh.” There was so much more that you wanted to say, but if you started, you’d never stop crying. It was the last bit of humility that you would keep.

“Y/n…baby. Y/n? Y–” Your thumb hesitated over the button before you finally ended the call. Though the phone weighed only mere ounces, it felt like a bag of bricks, weighing you down into the floor.

End of Part 1.

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littlemisslipbalm · 1 year ago

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Demonology - Part 5

I Think I'm Going to Hell -- Jake x f!Reader x Josh

A/N: Hi we're back. Last chapter after this! Hopefully it's been an enjoyable ride. All will be revealed and all will be settled by the end of part 6 btw. (Hopefully!)

Chapter Summary: A demon's earth-versary that coincides with her original birthday...a bar, an ancient demon and bad tempers. Nothing could go wrong.

Word Count: 4.9k | Warnings: explicit SMUT (18+), strong language, dubious understandings of demonology, BLOOD, alcohol consumption...eh idk what else just demon sex

Taglist | Masterpost

Part 5: I Think I'm Going To Hell

“Let’s go already!” Jake called gruffly down the hallway.

Today, Y/N had let Jake into her place upon his arrival. It was announced, she was expecting him, so he was allowed to wait in the living room. He was getting impatient though. He hadn’t seen her at all since he’d been there, her door opening on its own when he had called out who it was.

“Do we have to go?” She calls back, still formless for all Jake knows.

“What happened to the demon I met 6 months ago? Who I had to beg to stop fucking with the bars?” Jake grins to himself, Rori on his lap. The demon had won the animal over and they were quite friendly whenever they saw each other. Sometimes Jake would run into just Rori out and about these days.

“She was naive. She didn’t realize just how much it sucked here and that her identity was not all she thought and she didn’t know that there’d be an annoying but hot angel–” She wasn’t yelling, but Jake could hear her as if she were standing in front of him. He figured it was a trick she could do.

“Alright, alright, so is now not a good time to mention that Josh still hasn’t turned up?” Jake wasn’t sure if he wanted to soften the blow or not, so he threw it out there, wondering how it would stick with his demon colleague.

Josh had been MIA for two months. Ever since the dive bar and the ensuing events at his apartment. Jake had tried mildly to reassure Y/N that it was not because of her, but with no word from Josh either, Jake was starting to grow worried as well. He’d gone years without seeing Josh, but he usually checked in or gave a forwarding address when he was going to be gone for a long period of time. This was pretty unusual, Josh was a planner and this was clearly not planned.

She finally appeared in the living room, eyes wide and skirt unzipped with one boot unlaced. Half-dressed and distressed at Jake’s words, but trying to mask it with disdain.

“Well, it’s not surprising at this point. It really doesn’t matter to us, does it?”

Jake shook his head in agreement and stood, “Then why don’t you finish getting ready so we can have a good time. You being sulky really doesn’t do it for me.”

“I’m not supposed to do anything for you anymore if I remember correctly,” She parses, walking back to her room. “Never again.” She repeats in a low voice Jake wasn’t sure was supposed to mimic his own.

He chuckles a little and looks at the dog sitting next to the spot he had just occupied. Rori stared blankly back at Jake, seeming to remember why he had found the demon traitorous before.

“I’m trying to be her mentor, damn,” Jake mumbles under his breath so hopefully only Rori hears him.

Jake promised the bar they were headed for wasn’t lame. The demon’s 6 month anniversary of being back Earth-side also happened to coincide with her ‘human’ birthday. They had made no progress on learning what she really was and she hadn’t had another panic attack yet so they were biding their time.

She was filled with melancholy as of late. Sad she wasn’t as happy as when she’d first come. Sad she still didn’t know who she was. And sad that Josh had abandoned her. She was fine…besides all of that.

With the search for her true identity on indefinite hold and Josh MIA, Jake was trying to be nice. And he really didn’t know how to do that. He had set up this birthday-anniversary soiree when she had mentioned it in passing one night when they were writing up their reports together. They had to, to ensure that both of them weren’t claiming they had created some new evil that they were stealing from the human’s creation. But she had mentioned it and with her so down in the mouth all the time, Jake thought that taking her out would help take her mind off of everything. He hadn’t planned on her being so fucking reluctant about it all, but he was trying in his own way to hide his disappointment.

He grabbed drinks from the bar immediately when they arrived, knowing she would probably want a bottle of red wine and himself a bottle of whiskey. He came to the barstool seats she had found in the corner with the two full bottles and two appropriate glasses. She appreciated his foresight about the amount of alcohol and his demon abilities at procurring these items.

For some reason, which definitely didn’t have to do with her sadness that she was fine about, she didn’t feel like dancing that night, content to watch Jake. Much to Jake’s chagrin.

“C’mon,” Jake almost pleaded, he was trying so hard to get her into the evening but she was half way through her wine and nowhere close to being the life of the party he knew she could be. “It’s your fucking birthday and you don’t look a day over 27.”

He winked with his stupid joke and she rolled her eyes at him, insisting he could go without her. “I’ll be happier over here. If I go out there, I might swallow someone whole.”

Jake tipped his head closer and she could smell the whiskey on his breath, his chest warm practically touching her nose. “You know that nobody would mind that.”

“You’ll get more action without me, Jake.” She presses on his chest, causing him to take a quick step back as he stares at her face intently. “I’d be way too distracting for anyone to even think of dancing with you.”

The smirk on her face makes Jake feel like he’s triumphed a little. It was a flicker of her happier, more confident self. That’s what he wanted for her. It was depressing to see a pretty much all-powerful being being all sad all the time. He blows a kiss her way and then saunters through the crowd, easily taking the center how she normally would.

He turns his body back to face her once he’s where he wishes to be and raises his chin, silently seeing if she’ll come join him one more time. She sips her wine in response and crosses her legs, relaxing her joints into the grooves of the wooden countertop.

Without much time for himself, women began to flock to Jake. It was hilarious to watch from an outsider’s perspective. He was given free shots left and right and she laughed to herself. She wasn’t sure if it was Jake’s demonic presence that encouraged the women or if it was simply the way he looked. He flashed an evil grin that human women took as charming. His black unbuttoned button down, tucked into his baggy black pants on one side while the other hung loose, he looked rugged and expensive. He had pulled his glasses down onto his face when he had entered the dance floor and maybe those shrouded him in mystery. His clean black boots had white embroidered snakes curling around the sides as if they disappeared up into his pants.

Sweat began to gather in the notch between his collarbones and at his temple the longer he stayed on the dance floor. He had a rotation of women dancing about him and he seemed to love the music that was playing. Y/N agreed, while she didn’t recognize the songs, she hadn’t immediately moved to change it upon their arrival.

Her eyes watched the way Jake’s body moved and was reminded of the way it had felt. She didn’t like to think about her first night with Jake often because it had been something special and beautiful which was so unlike anything else about their relationship. It was like that one night had existed outside of the reality in which they lived. Jake, after that, had been gruff and professional with her. Little comments here and there would slip through the cracks, but she chalked them up to demon nature.

That night was a microcosm. How he had writhed above her and done anything she asked. How she had laid in his arms afterward and felt safe and seen. It was unlike anything she had ever felt in this world and then it was ripped from her. It was painful to reminisce on it because she knew she could never have it that way again. Why? She wasn’t exactly sure, but she thought it was because Jake didn’t like that he had let someone in. She didn’t press, but sometimes late at night her mind would slip to memories of Jake on his knees and Jake inside her. Or right now.

She was watching him dance, women grinding themselves back onto him as he let his hair shake out behind his shoulders and she remembered what it had felt like to be in his powerful embrace. Like Josh, yet so extremely different. So different she couldn’t begin to think which she preferred. Given that Jake had shut her down about ever fucking again and her night with Josh had quite literally driven him away, she wasn’t exactly sure she’d ever have to choose since both of them had chosen for her.

As she wallowed in her dwindling wine, she allowed herself to wonder if this was all actually real and not just her own hell. A world where she was allegedly special, but in reality she was cursed. Cursed to have the two men she’d ever felt real connections with reject her after she’d had sex with them and then forced to live the rest of her time with them just out of her reach and have a mundane confusing existence as an ‘other’, an outsider, in the world she had once loved.

She shot straight up in her seat, discarding her wine with a finality to it and began to march through the crowd towards Jake. The bodies part for her to slip through easily except for the one woman who was currently trying to dry hump Jake. Y/N grimaced for a moment before her lips curled into a sickly sweet smile, her own version of the charming evil grin.

She wasn’t sure if Jake had noticed her yet, but if he had he had made no moves to remove the obstacle in between them. He either had his eyes closed behind the dark shades or was waiting to see what she would do.

“Sweetheart, can you hop off my boyfriend for a sec? I need to talk to the bastard.”

Her eyes began to glimmer a slight red as she watched the distress in the woman’s face grow. Y/N raised her eyebrows expectantly, still smiling, somewhat hoping the other woman would put up a fight.

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry, he didn’t say,” The stranger sputters and the demon bites back a laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, hon. Like I said, he’s a bastard.” She finishes her sentence with a wink and a light shove to the drunk woman so that she could get to Jake.

She could barely make out his eyes behind his glasses, so she took the liberty of taking them off of his face and placing them in his breast pocket. Something about the action made the skin on her neck prickle with memory, but then it was gone, distracted by Jake’s deep chuckle.

“Jealous, kid?” He tilts his head down and a little to the side so she can hear him.

“No,” She growls, getting pushed closer to Jake by the crowd, her hands landing on his chest as she tries to keep her distance but to no avail.

“It seems like my heavy bump and grind got your no-good-panties in a twist?” Further liquored up, Jake is slipping more than usual and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her impossibly close.

He had liked having a body close on the dance floor, but now that it was hers he was even happier. She could feel it.

“No, you absolute old man,” She groans, but can’t help the flutter of her eyelids towards Jake’s neck in all its sweat-glistening glory, now up close and personal.

“Says the demon who said ‘neato’ when I showed her how to use her television properly.”

“One time!” She shot back. “We’re getting off track. I stomped over here for a reason.”

“Because you want a piece of this action,” Jake nodded his head and chewed on the inside of his cheek, smirking at her.

Her nails dig into Jake’s chest and he quiets.

“Is this hell?” She hisses, eyes crazed.

“Pardon?”

“Is. This. Hell. Is this my secret punishment, men who have sex with me and then won’t touch me again. A mundane life, tormented by you two and some unknowable question of who I am.” She repeats her idea. “Am I being punished?”

Jake chuckles and swings her body around, scooping her off of her feet and taking them in a half circle. “Absolutely not. I would never agree to being a punishment demon. I’m way too old for that, I’m an Earth demon I promise.”

“But what if you’re just saying that so I won’t figure out that this is a fake earth? Or what if this is indeed Earth and I still was sent back as punishment and you’re lying?” She prods, poking her fingers into Jake’s skin.

He frowns, realizing how serious she was about this. His hands slide down to her hips, stilling the half-hearted dancing they’d been doing. “For real?”

She hums, mulling it over again. “Yeah. I need you to prove it somehow or else I’m ringing head office to say something about you and Josh’s alliance because, I swear, this is all fake.”

“Fuck,” He breathes. He yanks at one of her hands and immediately whisks them out onto the street.

Out on the dark pathway, the crowds of people seem to dissipate and gray, Jake’s doing. He was muting out the rest of the world so that he could focus on the problem that Y/N was becoming.

“You’re serious.” It’s not so much a question as a confirmation.

“Yes.”

“Well, how am I supposed to convince you it’s real?” He sounds annoyed but also a little desperate.

She scans his face, his brows furrowed and jaw clenched. At least he seemed genuinely disturbed by this situation. Maybe she was overreacting, maybe this all was just her brain trying to cope with everything that had happened in her life and death. Her mind was trying to rationalize a world that clearly wasn’t rational and it all felt like it was imploding because she was hitting a milestone. She felt more human than she ever felt her first 27 years on Earth.

Her intensity washed out of her, a doused fire simmering to a fizzle. Jake saw it in the droop of her arms and the way she dropped eye contact with him, instead scanning her feet that scuffed at the ground.

“Maybe I’m just sad on my stupid fucking birthday,” She says and Jake huffs, with a roll of his eyes.

“You can’t be serious,” Jake fires up. “You dragged me out of there because you’re sad on your birthday? You’re a fucking demon, just forget about it.” He had tried being nice, but the feeling of a heart attack that had come over him when she had said she’d call the head office had sent him into a desperate state. To have her so quickly blow it all off, summing it up to birthday blues. She was ridiculous.

“I want to go home, Jake.”

“You’re a fucking pest.” He spits.

“Fuck you,” She practically screams and turns to walk away. Jake’s hand grips her wrist and she tries to yank it free. “Let me go.”

“Stop. Okay, just stop. For one fucking second.”

She huffs and turns to Jake. His eyes are more of an orange than yellow right now and she’s not sure what that means. His hands move to her forearms and she can feel how tight his grip is on her, it scares her a little.

“Don’t ever,” He pauses, either for emphasis or to collect himself. “Scare me like that for some no good, stupid reason. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah, whatever…fuckin’ altar boy bitch.” She grumbled, moving to push past Jake. In an instant, she isn’t pushing past him down the street, instead into the dim hallway of his home. “What the…”

His hand was around her throat in an instant. He’d taken their impending fight to somewhere more private. She would’ve been impressed if she wasn’t so angry with him. His hand was forcing her to meet his eyes as he spoke slowly.

“I think you’re mad at me.” His eyes boring into hers. “Why are you mad, Sal? Because I was doing your job better than you? Can’t get it up anymore for evil after you got touched by an angel?” He keeps talking as she tries to yank away from his hold again. It felt like he was slipping into a demonic trance. “I think that’s your problem. Went and got fucked by an angel, he left and now you’re all mushy. Get over it. That’s not who you are”

Voice strained with the pressure on her neck, she hisses. “Why are you being such an asshole?”

He shrugs as if the question rolled off his back like water. He never answered her questions and it made her want to scream.

“I know how to deal with a brat when I see one, kid. And I know you, you’re a huge fucking brat when you don’t get what you want.”

She tried to shake off his grasp and Jake put more pressure on her skin. She fought back the moan in her throat. The pressure of his hands and his body, hard against her, paired with his harsh words – however she hated hearing them, sent spirals of electricity through her body. She wanted Jake and she missed Josh and she wished she’d never been sent here, but this was a perfect mixture of pain and pleasure.

“I think you were just pissed I didn’t have my attention all on you. That’s why we had to tear out of there. You wanted me to grab you by the hips and grind against you all night. Because you’re sad.” He pauses, inhaling her scent, eyes flickering to their usual sinister yellow. The fear and anger was intoxicating to him, just a little. “It’s not my fucking fault…”

She mumbles something out in a hoarse whisper.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” His grip loosens only slightly.

“Slut,” she repeats louder. “You were being a slut and it was embarassing. I think you loved it though. All those girls fawning over you, wanting me to want it. You were trying to make me jealous. Even though you always say never again, you still want it.”

Jake laughs cruelly, his nose trailing along the exposed skin of her jaw. “I can’t help it that they throw themselves at me. That last one was relentless, huh?”

The flicker of avoidance in her eyes catches Jake’s attention and like the demon he is, he zoned in on the hole in her armor. There was a sliver of truth in what Jake had been spouting for the last few minutes of this odd dance between fighting and foreplay.

He pressed closer and she fought back another moan. Jake took note of the way her legs shifted though and he knew.

He hummed, savoring the victory he knew he’d already gotten. “Did she get under your skin? How she was pressed up against me, writhing as if I already had my aching cock inside her rather than nestled between her pert ass cheeks? The tiniest jean shorts…”

She felt him against her thigh, throb and her eyes shut. Jake yanked at her hair with his other hand and flipped her around, assuming the position he had just described. His one hand was still at her throat and the other trailed down her back to press at her hip, keeping him close.

He put his lips to her ear. His breath was hot against her skin. Hot and insistent. Demonic. This was what he was at the end of the day. Who they both were. No matter how much he might want to change, old habits die hard.

“You know we could go back?” His tone is teasing, sinful. “Could fingerfuck you right in front of her if that’d make you feel better. Just to show her I’ve already got a play thing.”

She tried to keep her mouth shut. Saying everything she wanted to scream at him in her head.

She couldn’t help that she pressed back into him and Jake laughed again. “Fuck, you need it, yeah? My angel of a brother can’t give it to you like this, huh?” His grip tightens and she sputters out an expletive. “He ran off because of you, isn’t that right? He hated it so much.

“Shut up, Jake.” She gets out, her eyes frantically switching to black, pulling on any power that might help right now.

“I wouldn’t speak to me like that,” he warns, rocking his hips against hers. “Go to my room.”

She rolls her eyes, breath heaving when he releases his hold on her finally. She hates that he knows she’ll listen. She curses him as he watches her with a smugness in his jaw and complete arousal in his pants.

“I hate you,” She spits one last time.

“Yeah, right.” He smirks with a shake of his head.

She tried not to think about Josh as she sauntered to Jake’s room. How similar and yet how different he was to his demon counterpart. The sick notion (even as a demon, she thought it might be too far) that passed through her head of what it might be like to have them at the same time. Two sets of hands, two mouths, two of the same…and she knew they were oh so similar. She fell back onto his bed and wished Josh would appear, to offer his grace to this turbulent chase.

“What’re you thinking about in that evil head of yours, little one?” Jake appears in the doorway, his voice calmer now. She riled him up in ways he had never thought possible.

“Nothing.”

“I can make you tell me, you know that.”

She rolled her eyes, watching Jake crawl across the bed to her. His face was in her neck the moment he was close enough and she felt the drag of his teeth down the fragile skin.

“Don’t make me put you in your place.” He murmurs, his tongue flicking against her.

“How’re you gonna do that, oh powerful one?” After a moment's respite, she was feeling like taking some of the power back. With his hand no longer around her neck, she didn’t feel so trapped.

Jake chuckled darkly and then growled, “Watch.”

“I thought I was just your mentee and you were my mentor. Where'd that—Ow! Oh,” she paused at the feeling in her throat that had hurt but was quickly turning to ecstasy. “Fuckkk…Jake, what’re you–doing? Oh fuck!”

His teeth had sunk into her skin and she felt something hot and sticky rushing down her body. She gulped, gasping for air as she began to writhe and moan with no stimulation apart from whatever Jake was doing to her neck. He was moaning against her now too, with licks and slurps to the fresh open wound on her.

“Tell me what you were thinking,” he repeats when he pulls back, drops of dark inky blood racing down his chin as he stares at her with his yellow eyes tinged red. “Or I’ll drain you.”

“You wouldn’t,” she gasped, voice choppy. “You can’t! They’ll call you down for a trial before the dark council, for sure.”

“You’re right. Maybe I’d get some straight answers on who you are then,” Jake grins and some of his teeth are sharper than she’s ever seen. His fingers are at her thighs again, teasing. “But I’ll bring you so close to the edge that you’ll tell me what you’re thinking because you’re so weak from the terrible mix of pleasure and pain and maybe then some. Wouldn’t you rather just tell me now so we can save the recovery period and I can fuck you into next week instead?”

There’s a moment of silence. Her mind racing and attempting some sort of coherency with the head rush Jake drinking her blood had just caused. A mix of desire and pain and surprise and fear and hot, heady ecstasy.

“You and Josh. Both,” she manages to choke out.

Jake’s response is immediate, his eyes still staring into hers. “Absolute fucking slut,” Jake laughs. It’s almost painful in its sound. “It’s incredible they didn’t just make you a succubus…Now that wasn’t so hard was it.”

“Jake…”she whined, the slick of the blood on her throat was drifting down her chest.

He leaned down at her voice and lapped at it, then he ran a hand gently over the wound, effectively closing it right back up.

“Good as new,” He whispers, his voice soft and private. Completely different than moment’s ago. Knowing Jake was like experiencing constant whiplash. Exciting, but dangerous.

Her legs shift as Jake’s knee presses against her heat. He smiles, teeth no longer as sharp as they were. More a man than a monster visually, but now she was certain she’d never forget the animal inside him. Enticing as it was.

“Alright alright. You want me to fill this pussy, yeah?” His fingers slipped beneath the fabric of the panties that still covered her. He had magicked away all of their clothes except under garments when he’d first slid over her and she’d barely registered it.

“Fuck it so good you forget all about my brother? How’s that?” His fingers play between her quivering slit, messy with her wetness. He hums, middle finger wandering to prod at her entrance that was throbbing to the sound of his voice. “Yeah you want that I can tell.”

She whined, completely at the mercy of his hands, barely aware of the actual words he spoke and just riding the sweet current of his gruff voice. The most perfect timbre. It made her nipples peak and her legs spread wider. She just wanted him to consume her.

Effectively, she has forgotten about Josh and she can barely compare this Jake to the first time she had him. It’s like they were two completely different people. Tonight, she was lost in Jake in unfamiliar ways. His scent encased her. Sweat and fire burning. Still a little bit of nickel in the air from her blood, she tasted it on his tongue.

As his fingers opened her up, he thrusted into her thigh, wanting to sink into her. She moaned at the feeling of him hot and hard against her. Her hands grabbing at his shoulders as his lips laid brazen kisses across her healed neck and heaving chest. Jake brought her to the edge a few times, making her scream and shake before he gave in to what they both truly wanted.

His cock was just as beautiful as she remembered. Thick and heavy as it gleamed between their bodies. Jake’s eyes caught hers as she stared and he smirked, leaning forward to drag it through her folds while she watched. The sound of her slickness fell over their ears, mixing with heavy breathing. She shook slightly at the sensation of the head dragging over her sensitive clit and she whimpered when Jake prodded it against her entrance.

“Good fucking girl,” He groaned as he slid in.

She moaned his name back and he gifted a sweet kiss to her lips. One of the first tonight. He began to thrust in and out steadily. The slick sound between them only growing. A red light flickered around them as he sped up. Her fingers gripped tighter against his clammy skin, nails digging in and leaving jagged lines. He groaned at the pain, pushing harder.

Their breathing melded, their bodies working in tandem. He’d grow close and slip out of her, making her whine and then he’d move to another position he remembered her enjoying. She wished he’d speak more. He’d grown quiet, heaving, stuttering breaths, some of the only sounds leaving him since he’d entered her.

She knew he was close when he brought her back to missionary. Thrusting faster, breathing more erratic than before. His voice seemed to have come back to him as he babbled. “Swear you’ve got a magic pussy. So wet and perfect,” he sighed. “My cock wants to live here, Sal.”

She moaned in response but something felt off. Jake was cumming in seconds causing her to tighten with his release, an orgasmic cloud fogging her mind. Forgetting what she was disturbed by for a few minutes as they basked in the afterglow.

Jake rolled off of her and touched his fingers against the edge of his sheets, lightly singed. That was new. Their breathing evened and she felt herself curl into Jake’s side. His hand came to her shoulder protectively.

Her voice comes out as a whisper, “Don’t call me that again.”

“What?” Jake racks his brain for the names he had called her, wondering which one had been too far.

“Sal.” She responds calmly, her body feeling light, except that one nagging feeling. “I don’t think that’s my name.”

lmk what you think!

Taglist: @ofthecaravel @gretavanfreaky @sinarainbows @jaketlove @mysticalstarcatcher @whiterosekiszka @sacredjake @beingextraisfun @malany-gvf @joshysgirl @ascendingtothestarssasone @amygvf13 @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @alwaysonthemend @lvnterninthenight @thecoldwind @thetroublegetssoloud71

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gretavangroupie · 8 months ago

Text

The Ripe and The Ruin - (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 14.3k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Unwelcome Advances, Kissing.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

JAKE POV

You absentmindedly swirl the skinny black straw around in your glass, scoffing to yourself as you wonder why the bartender put a stirrer into your Whiskey in the first place. It didn’t need to be stirred. You took it straight. It was fine on its own. Regardless, you sipped around the straw, letting the oaky liquor trickle down the back of your throat.

It wasn’t that you hated flying. It was more that you hated being alone with your thoughts for extended periods of time. Only your phone or a book to occupy your brain, but you knew that only worked for so long. Eventually you’d be left alone to tumble down into those dark, dusty memories that would torment you until you touched down in whatever city you were slated to be in that day.

You hear Josh’s voice, instinctively causing you to turn your head, watching as he and Daniel stand in front of the camera recording whatever video the social media team planned for the day. You gracefully bowed out of that process all together, the team knowing not to approach you about an idea unless they knew it was something you would agree to. Usually though, it wasn’t. You turn to look at Sam on your right, seeing his gaze fixed upon the two of them. Both of you were now watching them as they played along with the skit, a huff of secondhand embarrassment sizzling through you as you sip from your glass. You’d never be caught dead doing that.

Fools. How is anyone ever supposed to take us seriously if all we show them is this?

“You ready for another few months of this shit?” you mumble, your lips barely parting from the edge of your glass.

Sam snickers as he turns back to you. “No. But that’s the job isn’t it?” he answers, swallowing down a gulp of beer, turning to look at you.

“I’m hitting that wall, too.” you answer, meeting the eyes of his girlfriend, Lyla. She sends you a sympathetic look as she squeezes Sam’s arm, giving him the little bit of reassurance he needs. “S’been a shit few weeks.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, instead pursing his lips together and slowly nodding his head as he peers down into his empty glass. Everyone knows better than to indulge you in your misery at this point, vowing not to pick at the festering wound. It’s still fresh and you’re still too volatile.

“Well, we’re going to your happy place, right?” Lyla asks with a hopeful smile.

“Yeah, yeah we are,” you answer, taking another long pull of Whiskey. It was clear she didn’t know the reason it made you happy in the first place was because of the memories you made there with the person no longer around.

You turn your head ready to fall into those memories you’ve been pushing away for weeks, but fate has other plans as you spot your production team walking towards the boarding gate. They look frantic as they talk to each other, their eyes flicking up and down from their phones in their hands. Paul, your band Manager leads the group, finally slipping his phone into his pocket as he spots the gate. Next to him is Corrine, the Production Manager talking on the phone, balancing it between her ear and shoulder as she follows Paul. Wes, the Tour Manager continues to talk to Paul as they step into the waiting area, but behind him is someone you don’t recognize.

She’s looking down at her phone, unaware that Wes has come to an abrupt stop in front of her. She runs into him just enough that it gets his attention, a profuse apology falling from her mouth. You laugh a little at the exchange, wondering who this girl is, and why she is with your team. She’s dressed like the rest of them, casual, but still comfortable for a day of travel. A slouchy white long sleeve shirt, a little too thin for the cold January weather, a brown leather backpack, worn and well loved, and a pair of olive green pants that hug her ass just a little too well for 10AM on a Thursday morning. You find yourself unable to pull your eyes away from her, a magnetizing feeling sucking you in the longer you look at her. She laughs with Wes, a bright smile lighting up her face causing an unwelcome twinge in your chest. It’s when she fully turns though, allowing you to see her whole face through the curtain of tousled waves, that you find yourself needing to know who she is.

You swallow nervously, licking your bottom lip as you turn to Sam. “Who uh, who’s that?” you ask, nodding towards the group. “With Paul, Wes, and Corri?”

Sam turns around in his barstool, looking across the busy walkway to the group standing at the gate. “Oh, um…” he pauses, assessing the situation. “She’s with Paul, so that must be our new runner.”

“What happened to Lucy?” you ask, letting your eyes drift back to the mystery girl.

“She got engaged and moved to Scotland or some shit, I don’t remember. Ask Josh,” he laughs.

You hum, trying to remember the email thread where Paul’s new assistant was approved. What was her name…

“You know her name?” Lyla asks, looking at Sam.

Yes, Lyla. Yes.

“Um, I think it’s….Y/N. Yeah, yeah, Y/N,” he answers confidently, snapping his fingers as he speaks.

“So she’s the new Lucy…” you hum, flipping your sunglasses down over your eyes.

“Guess so. We’ll see if she can hack it,” he laughs, sliding his card to the bartender.

You turn back to look at her, this time your eyes concealed. She is rocking back and forth on her feet, looking around as she hugs her arms across her chest. She seems nervous, pushing her hair behind her ears every few minutes. You’re positively taken by her, unable to peel your eyes away from her every move. You can’t help but study her, and you briefly wonder if it's the alcohol rushing through your brain that has you so focused on her.

The gate agents’ voice blaring through the intercom system snaps you from your thoughts, announcing that your flight was ready to begin boarding. You look to Sam, who is signing the check, and nod your head in silent agreement that you should head over. You toss back the rest of your Whiskey, letting out a sigh as it warms your chest. You grab your black leather backpack and sling it over your shoulders, straightening out your shirt before following Sam across the walkway to the gate. With your glasses still down, you step into the waiting area, watching people line up around you.

Josh, Ty, Mia, and Daniel appear behind you, startling you a bit as you fumble around in your pocket for your boarding pass. Their conversation is loud and grating, but you tune them out. You check your seat assignment as you move forward in the line, repeating it in your head over and over so you don’t forget it. You try not to pay attention to the pretty mystery girl five people ahead of you, but you just can’t seem to take your eyes off of her. You watch her disappear down the jet bridge as she talks to Paul, and before you can even register it, it’s your turn and the gate agent is scanning your ticket. She sends you on your way with a smile, and as you make the long walk to the plane you wonder if the girl in the green pants is going to make this tour just a little bit more interesting.

—

HER POV

3E. 3E. 3E.

Your eyes scan the row of numbers at the top of the cabin, finally catching sight of your assigned seat. You slide into the aisle seat, tossing your backpack to the floor as you let out a sigh of relief. You made it in one piece. You weren’t late, and everyone seemed to like you so far.

You take a look around you, admiring the plush seats and ample legroom. You’d never flown first class before. You felt a little out of place as you looked at the people around you. Thankfully it was filled with team members you knew, and the band members and their partners, but still you knew you didn’t belong up here. You kicked your bag beneath the seat in front of you, pulling your shirt sleeves over your hands before reaching up to adjust the air vents that were blowing far too hard. A small shiver left your body as you spun the vents closed, sitting back comfortably in your seat as you waited to see who your seat partner would be.

Your phone buzzed on your lap, a text from your best friend lighting up your screen.

Ruth

10:57am: How many hours is the flight again?

You smile as you quickly text back, running the numbers in your head.

You

10:58am: I don’t know, like 7 or 8 hours? You’ll be fine. Read a book or something. I’ll text you when I get there. But it will be late…or early? I think? There is a big time difference.

Ruth

10:59am: Ok, be careful.

You lock your phone and shove it under your leg, your eyes darting to the aisle as more people pass you on their way to their seats. You couldn’t believe your first leg of tour with them was taking you across Europe, allowing you to see places you’d only dreamed about. It wasn’t the job you were worried about, you could do that in your sleep. It was the uncertainty of being in another country with people you didn’t really know.

Getting to know the bands you worked for was a precarious thing. Always walking the thin line between friend and employee. You knew your place though, and you knew where that boundary lied. Your eyes refocus as someone stops in front of you, dropping their hands. As you look up you see Jake, one of the band members staring back at you.

“I’m…right there,” he says, gently pointing to the seat next to you.

“Oh, right here?” you ask, genuinely curious how you were seated next to a band member and not with a crew member.

“3F? That’s what this says…” he asks, checking his boarding pass. You nod and stand, letting him slide into the seat. He drops his leather backpack to the ground with a thud, letting out a sigh of relief, much in the same way you had.

You resettle in your own seat, buckling your seatbelt and pulling it tight across your lap. Your heart is still pounding as you try to calm your nerves, suddenly feeling put on the spot next to your boss. Or– your boss's boss. Shit.

You realize that you know practically nothing about this band, about its members, and really even much of their music beyond their hits. You planned to spend most of this flight acquainting yourself with them, learning their likes and dislikes before making a fool out of yourself in front of them in the green room. You don’t know if you should speak to him, and truthfully you’re a little hesitant since that day at the office, catching him and Josh in an argument.

You didn’t even know they would be there as you went in to sign your paperwork, but to your surprise they were, standing in the middle of the office playing around on instruments and talking. You made a beeline straight for the management office, mostly unseen, and quickly signed your paperwork. Paul went over some of the timelines and the things you would be responsible for as you took detailed notes on your phone, not wanting to miss a single thing.

Though, all of that came to a screeching halt as the sound of a chair skidding forcefully across the concrete floors pulled you both from your conversation. From your seat you watched through the small office door as two men moved towards each other, while two more intervened to break up whatever was about to happen.

You then learned from Paul that the two people that were arguing were the twins, Jake and Josh, and that the other two were their younger brother Sam, and their honorary brother Daniel. You observed in shock as the two of them shouted profanities at each other from either side of the piano, both red faced and worked up over something.

Paul quickly walked you out the front door with an apology and a laugh, and that was the last you saw of the band and its members, until today.

Out of the corner of your eye, you try to get a good look at him without him noticing. First impressions have always been a big deal to you, and since your first impression of him was nothing short of off-putting, you decide to try again. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Worn-in black pants, cuffed at the ankle, a wrinkled beige button up that only conceals half his torso, a thick dark navy overcoat, and a stack of heavy silver necklaces. Oh, and blue-tinted sunglasses. His cologne… now that will be sticking around in your mind for a while. Clean, woodsy, a hint of musk but still kind of sweet.

You hear him clear his throat as he fidgets with his things, putting them all in their places as he finally settles into his seat. He reaches down into his black leather bag that appears to be well-loved, and pulls out a set of wired earbuds. They’re tangled and bunched, and you can’t help but smirk as you watch him try to untangle them. His fingers pull through the twisted white wires, and before you can offer your help, he reluctantly tosses them back down on top of his unzipped bag. “Fuck it,” you hear him mumble under his breath. He huffs again and leans back, tapping his fingers anxiously on his arm rests.

You let yourself drift back into your own thought as the plane takes off, going over the hundreds of miniscule things you know you’ll have to accomplish as soon as the plane lands. It’s quiet in first class, something you aren't used to with flying on the regular. The peacefulness that comes along with the drone of the plane and the light conversation between everyone is almost enough to help you relax a little, if not for the damned cool air still blowing through the vent above you.

You shiver a little, cuffing your hands over the ends of your shirt to pull it in more closely to your body. Why you had chosen to forgo a heavier jacket in the middle of winter, you truly don’t know. You decide to distract yourself a little, pulling up the string of endless emails that lie in waiting on your phone, getting a nice head-start on your duties before you have to hit the ground running.

Jake has been sitting beside you quietly for about an hour now, alternating scrolling his phone every few minutes and looking out his window. The cloud cover is heavy, so being able to see even a glimpse of the ocean below you is a lost cause. You listen as he sighs, crossing one of his legs over the other and folding his hands in his lap.

Should you strike up conversation? No, he probably doesn’t care to speak to you. But is it rude not to? You’ve already been sitting here for over an hour…

Just as you decide to open your mouth to speak, the plane hits turbulence. The cabin shakes and rumbles, and you can feel your stomach fall. Your hands grip the arm rests with white knuckles as the plane passes through, your eyes gripping shut as tightly as your palms on the arm rests.

Finally, after what feels like forever the plane evens out again, and you hear the pilot come over the intercom to apologize. You finally let the breath you were holding free from your lungs, and you open your eyes to see Jake with his head leaned low in front of you.

“You okay?” he asks, an eyebrow cocked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just…don’t really enjoy this part much.” you admit, running your sweaty palms over your pants.

He sits back in his seat once he notices your calmness return. “Me neither, to be honest. No matter how many times you hit turbulence on a plane, you never get used to it. I don’t care what people say.” he says with a sweet smile. You can tell that he was coming down from an anxious episode just the same as you.

“No joke…” you agree, suddenly wanting a drink even if it was before noon. You push the tiny hairs away from your face as you regain a hold on your bearings, picking up right where you had left off before the turbulent air sent you into a spiral of doom. “I–I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself before, my name’s–”

“Y/N.” he cut in, extending the tips of his fingers out to offer you a friendly handshake.

You let your hand slowly come up to meet his, suddenly uncaring that it was probably still clammy. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.”

For the five seconds your bodies connect, and the even shorter few seconds that his honey brown eyes meet yours, you feel like you were worried for nothing. This guy is nice. Maybe he’ll be easier to talk to than you thought…

His hand disconnects and flies to his chest. “I’m Jake.”

You nod. Of course you already know his name. “Yeah, um…guitar. Right?”

He smiles harder this time. “Yup. That’s my forte, at least. Have you um, ever been to Europe?” He brushes his hand over his nose a few times as his eyes dart back and forth from the seat behind you and back to your face, unable to hold eye contact. Is he nervous?

You turn your body a little more toward him. “No, actually. This is my first time. But I hear good things…”

“Oh shit, you’re gonna love it. Especially this time of year. Things move pretty fast when we get there, but we always try to explore as much as possible. See some sights.” You can tell that he’s truly excited about this excursion, and to be completely honest, you found yourself wanting to hang on his every word.

“Anything in particular?” you press, wanting to hear the gritty rich sound of his voice again.

You let him talk on and on about the places he wants to see, and the places that they had already been, even bringing up a few older photos on his phone as he describes their past trips. You try not to look as he scrolls, but his camera roll is full of tons of scenic photos and videos, landscapes, mountains, waterfronts… and of course a few rogue photos of guitars and guitar parts. You wonder if he’s planning to make little vlogs.

“Italy is my favorite, I think. So much history there. I could’ve stayed for six months if they’d have let me.” Your shoulders are pressed up against each others’ now as you watch his thumb glide over the multitude of media, speeding through the less important ones to get to his favorites. Strange of him to trust a stranger this much to watch him scroll his personal camera roll. He obviously doesn’t have much to hide, even if this is crossing that boundary line…

“The people are great, the food is great, the wine, oh god, don’t get me started on the wine…” he chuckles, and you feel yourself bumping your shoulder against his a little as you laugh along with him. “The terroir is fuckin’ phenomenal, obviously. It’s like a different world.”

“I like a moscato every now and then.” You add, trying to throw in your two cents on your crumbs of wine knowledge.

He returns with a scrunched nose. “Hmm, a bit sweet for my taste…So, Y/N. What’s your story, how’d you end up with us?” he asks, switching to cross his other leg over, now.

You swallow, unsure of how to explain years’ worth of ups and downs you’d gone through to a rockstar. Your boss. You decide to keep it short and sweet, he didn’t need to know everything.

“Well, I spent my entire youth attending a small private school and private high school, so I came up quite the determined and disciplined kid. Kinda sheltered.” You turn again in your seat, tucking one leg up underneath you. “But, I ended up moving away from home and away from family, been in this business for almost, eh, six years now?” You go on, and he listens intently. “Guess you could say I’m a pro at making things happen out of thin air.” You give him a long wink as you snap your fingers together.

His eyebrows shoot up, and he finally gives you a hundred-watt smile. My god, he’s…

“A-ha, so you got all the good hookups, huh?” He asks, running his fingers over his chin as his cheeks turn the palest shade of pink.

“S’what the runner does, isn’t it?” You pull your eyes back down to your lap. “Get you everything you need, right when you need it?”

You bring your eyes back up to his and watch as he swallows hard, his mouth hanging open for just a split second before he catches himself. “Yeah, ehm, I suppose it is. We’re not too bossy, though. Josh can be, but.”

“So I’ve heard, he’s kind of a…diva?” You hadn’t done too much research on them, honestly. You hadn’t had the time. But, what few tiktoks and musics videos you had managed to see were fairly telling of their personalities.

“He is. He is.” Jake laughs. “Don't let him fool you, though. He’s a big softie with an attitude problem. We all kind of are, honestly.”

“You’re a softie?” You press with a teasing tone. “From the few videos I’ve seen of you playing guitar, you look a little intimidating…”

“Me? Intimidating?” He clicks his tongue. “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet, Y/N. It’s dangerous…” he growls the last word, and you can feel your insides ripping themselves apart just at the sound of his voice. You have to pull back, now.

“All the runners we’ve ever had did extensive research on us before they came on tour, did you not do that?” he inquires, throwing you off a bit.

You don’t really know how to answer, so you tell the truth. “Honestly Jake, no, I didn’t. I’ve toured with a few other bands in my career, and I did that. I researched them, learned all things I thought I needed to know so I didn’t go in blind. And, this time around, I did a little bit, but I kind of wanted to meet you all for myself. Get my own versions of you.”

“Hm.” He responds with an understanding nod. “Well, you’ll be the first.”

“Speaking of,” you go on, candidly glancing around the cabin and deciding to go ahead and ask the question that’s been nagging you. “Everyone else is seated with someone, wonder why I’m not with the rest of the team.”

“What, you don’t wanna sit by me, Y/N?” he asks with a shred of a grin.

“No no, it’s not that.” you laugh. “Just—“

“Normally I have someone with me, but…we’ve recently…gone our separate ways, I suppose.” He trips over the words a little, stammering through them like it was the first time he’d admitted it.

“Oh… I see.” you pause, “That’s…never an easy thing.”

I wonder if that was why he was so snippy that day at the office when you saw him fall off his rocker?

“Eh, s’alright. Win some, lose some. We had a good run.” He says as he waves off the question. “So, you say you’ve been doing this awhile, you must really miss whoever you’re leaving at home.”

Skating around the question, aren’t you, Jake?

“No, I’m single, if that’s what you’re asking.” You bite your lip as he doesn’t stop you from elaborating further. “I’m pretty independent, I like structure and uniformity. Growing up I wasn’t allowed much time on my own to have hobbies outside of school and practice. Strict parents. The job has kept me pretty adhered to that mindset, even in my personal life, so.”

His eyes flick to yours and he squints them a little, as if he’s collecting every single one of your words and hanging them in a closet in his mind. He’s trying his best to figure you out, you can see it on his face. But why? He shouldn’t care…you don’t matter.

“I can respect that.” He nods again. “My brothers and I, we grew up in a fairly religious household. Was great, don’t get me wrong. Really formed our roots but, as we got older and started to see the world, we kinda got away from it. Began to start seeing things in a different perspective.” He sucks his teeth, as if he’s recounting a hard memory. “Kinda why we moved to Nashville. We knew we had to break away if we wanted the band to be successful.”

You nod in understanding. “I mean, it worked, didn’t it?”

His laugh fills the cabin as it bounces off the walls, a sweet chuckle that makes your heart rate pick up. You could listen to him laugh all day long.

“S’pose it did.”

“The fuck are you two over here laughing at, huh?” Suddenly Josh’s curls are squished between your seats, his cheeks pinched together as he speaks. “I’m trying to get some shut-eye but I can’t from all the babbling—”

Jake places his hand over entirety of his twin’s face, pressing him through and back into his own seat. “None of your business, fuck off.”

You laugh at their antics, knowing in the back of your mind that you had better get used to it. You feel the air kick on again, fiercely blowing the freezing cold air directly onto you. You shiver a little, balling yourself up and pulling your sleeves closely in toward you again.

“You want my jacket?” Jake asks, already starting to pull it from his shoulders.

“No! No no no, thank you, but I’m fine, really.” The last thing you need is that right off that bat. A bad look. Day one. Nope.

“Seriously, I run naturally hot. Take it.” He replies.

“Oh yeah? Hence all your layers?” You tease, repositioning in your seat.

“It’s a fashion statement, thank you very much.” He bites. “All about comfort for me.”

Gotta change the subject.

“So tell me something I should know about your brothers. Something that would give me brownie points if I wanted to say…impress them with my craft service skills…” you press, giving him a new challenge.

“Wow um, let’s see…” he brings his fingers to his chin and thinks hard, and you can’t help but feel endeared by the fact that he truly wants to help you out. “Josh stays away from chocolate and dairy and sweets and all that, but his guilty pleasure is those cotton candy flavored grapes. Weird, I know.”

“Oh my god, those are so nasty!” you laugh, but still take note.

“Danny would be over the moon if you surprised him with salsa verde Doritos, and Sam drinks kombucha more than the normal human should.” he finishes with a stern nod.

“Got it. I think I can make most of that happen, aside from the grapes…”

“He would kiss you right on the lips, I’m telling you.” Jake giggles again, and you notice how he lights up when he talks about them.

“So Josh is the dramatic softie, what about the other two?” you ask.

“Sam’s kinda serious but he’s playful when he wants to be. Sneaky, too. Daniel’s always into something, always busy. Man doesn’t like to sit still,” he concludes, and you commit it all.

“And what about you?” you ask, feeling your stomach flip for some reason.

“I thought you said you wanted to get your own versions of us,” he quipped back, parroting your words from earlier. Damn, you had said that.

You toss your hair behind your shoulder. “I did but…You’ll tell me all about them, but not about yourself?”

He crunches his lips together as his eyes scan your face. It makes you a little uncomfortable, how hard he’s really looking at you, but you let him. Stopping him would be a sin you weren’t ready to commit just yet.

“That’s right.”

The two of you drift off into silence again as the minutes tick by, thankfully not being embarrassingly interrupted by Josh anymore. You decide that you want to listen to some music, so you reach into the pocket of your bag and pull out your AirPods, slipping the left one in first followed by the right. You pull up your music and begin flipping through your playlists, searching for something to match the relaxed tone of the hour. Truly, you feel like you could easily drift off to sleep.

You find a nice quiet playlist and curl up in your seat, halfway reluctant you didn’t take Jake’s jacket, but also proud of yourself for saying no. You’re fucking freezing.

You turn your head to the side and close your eyes, ready to drift off into another world.

You’re jolted awake by turbulence, the plane shaking again as you wake up and get your bearings. “Shit,” you breathe as you sit up straighter, remembering exactly where you are. You notice that in your slumber, your head had fallen against Jake’s shoulder. Fuck. Fuck fuck.

The turbulence only lasts a few seconds before it evens out again, and the calmness returns to your body. You glance at Jake, seeing him looking a little drowsy and shaken, too.

“Jake, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, why didn’t you wake me? I—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I kinda dozed off, too,” he replies, stretching his arms high above his head without a care…not like he didn’t just have a stranger asleep with her head on his shoulder.

You look down, noticing that in the time you had drifted off, Jake had covered you with his coat.

You panic, scrambling a little as you work to pull it from your body before anyone notices.

His hands are quickly on yours, stopping your action. “Leave it, Y/N. You were shivering in your sleep…you can’t tell me you aren’t cozy right now…” his voice is barely a whisper, and the warmth of his hands grazing overtop of yours, even for a second, is enough to give you a whole other type of chill.

“Yeah, I—I am warm…” you can’t deny that your body temperature has increased by at least a couple of degrees, and your fingers don’t feel like they’re going to get frostbite anymore. The jacket is heavy, heavier than it looks, and it smells like fresh pine needles and woodsy body soap. Just like…him?

“See?” he growls, backing away. “Just stay put.”

Stay put? You want to bite back with something that will put him in his place; you explicitly told him you didn’t want his jacket, and he covered you anyway. While you were unconscious. While you couldn’t turn down the offer.

…But you’re so warm, now. Your tense muscles are finally relaxing. The frigidity of the space has suddenly turned into a toasty furnace with a crackling fire.

Okay, but just until we land…

“What are you listening to?” Jake asks as he stretches again. You turn your phone for him to see, showing a generic playlist of Peaceful Sleep Songs lighting up your lock screen.

“Agh, no, what is that shit?” Jake snatches your phone from your hand, quickly flipping the screen to unlock with your face before he begins shuffling through your playlists.

“What are you doing?!” you yelp, reaching for your phone back. He raises his free hand to the air, stopping you from taking it.

“Aht aht… I’m finding you something better to listen to. Don’t worry about it.” You suddenly hear the quiet music in your ears switch to something else, something you knew for a fact you hadn’t ever heard before. You give it a second as he turns the volume up a few notches, and you realize that it is most definitely brand new to you.

It’s a solemn, tense-feeling piano beat, followed in by guitar. Lyrics only come in after a minute and a half or so. It sounds like growling, deep and hollow and a bit scary, but beautiful nonetheless. He’s watching your face as you experience it, quickly pressing pause as the song comes to a close.

“What was that?” you ask, realizing you had really enjoyed it.

“That was a song called Intro, by Alt-J. I know you’ve heard of Alt-J.” he says as he goes back to work on the phone.

You slowly shake your head from side to side. “Can’t say I have, actually.”

His jaw goes slack as his eyebrows raise in disbelief. “What? Like, never?”

You feel your cheeks turning pink at the thought of a literal rockstar calling you out on your lack of music knowledge.

“I don’t think so! That’s not what I normally listen to…don’t judge me,” you laugh, reaching for your phone again.

He swats your hand away. “Ohh no, little fledgling. You’re listening to this. This is the good shit…” he presses play again as a twinkling high-pitched voice comes through your ears. It’s just jumbled words, no backing music or tune. The acapella strikes you as strange at first, until the end when it changes tone a bit, and it’s almost as if the lyrics are giving you advice you didn’t ask for. Warning you of something new and exhilarating, or better yet, dangerous and foreboding. It almost feels as if a black cloud has overcome you, only for a split second, letting you feel the nonexistent pokes and pinches that come along with the emotion of worry.

The song flows directly into another now, one layered with a lot more sound, and it pulls you from that odd headspace the previous had put you in. You lean over the armrest, looking at the screen to see the title Tessellate. You’ve never heard anything like this kind of music before, and you wonder why Jake chose this particular artist.

“This is one of their more popular ones, like radio popular, but it’s still one of my favorites on this album. Here in a second you’ll hear it slow down—”

You stop him by pulling your right earbud out, shoving it in his hand. “Shh, you can talk me through the songs later. Let me listen.”

He shuts his mouth, giving you a sweet grin as he takes the bud, placing it in his own ear and pressing play again. You continue on through the album, each song something brand new to you, a genre you’d really never delved into but wish you had, now. It’s enthralling, different, and full of sounds that make your mind sway and swim through mixtures of color and gray.

You watch as Jake’s fingers tap along exactly with the beat of each song perfectly, down to a tee. The words don’t make much sense to you, and you can hardly distinguish what the singer is saying, but you know that Jake will give you a rundown of it all as soon as time allows him. You don’t know much about him, but his persistence is already apparent. You glance to see his eyelashes hitting his cheeks, his head barely bobbing side to side as he feels the music. You find yourself envious that he can draw inspiration and act on it, turning it into art of his own, whereas all you can do is sit back and listen to it.

Every couple of minutes he perks up from his meditation and adds new songs from their other albums onto the little playlist he’s started for you. You can’t quite make out what he’s titled it, but you can tell it's an emoji of some sort. His thumb flips and flies with precision across your screen as he scrolls and adds songs, and you have to admit, you’re a little excited to get your phone back and learn just what he’s creating for you. Especially for you.

You take a quick deep breath as you recenter yourself, catching your eyes drifting over his hand as he grips your phone. The veins in his hand roll over his knuckles, and you can just barely see the scuffed and calloused ends of his fingertips. Dial it the fuck back Y/N, remember the rules.

“Oooh, this is another one of my favorites,” he remarks, his mouth fairly close to your ear as he tries not to raise his voice over the volume of the music. He turns the screen a little so you can see the title, Taro. “You haven’t— You didn’t come to any of our shows last year by chance, did you?”

You feel a big pang of guilt shoot through your chest, remembering that you had actually been invited by some friends to see them way back when, but you’d turned the invitation down, not knowing who they even were at the time. You shake your head from side to side. “No, I didn’t.”

“This is one of the ones we play to the crowd before we go on. We all love it, it’s a sad, sad love tale based on true events. That’s the cool thing about this group, their lyrics are never really about what you think they are. They’re storytellers, a bit like Josh is, if you think about it. Their themes and over arcs are just…mind blowing sometimes.” Jake’s voice is a tiny murmur in your ear as your shoulders lean on one another’s again, still very taken with the music flowing through your ear. “We grab a lot of inspo from them, sonically and melodically…” You can feel his breath on your cheek, and you find yourself wondering what it would taste like…

“Here, read along with the lyrics. Try not to cry.” He hands your phone back, letting you keep up with the words floating down your screen. And he’s right, it’s heartbreaking without even knowing the context.

“Wow…That was really beautiful,” you choke, realizing the depth of the story of the song.

“Yep. Good shit, I told you.” He whips his hand around and takes the phone back as the next song comes in and warms your bones up again. You can feel the bare skin of his elbow brushing against yours, realizing that he was telling the truth about being naturally warm-bodied. Suddenly you don’t feel so bad about cuddling up under his coat.

He opens your contacts app and adds himself, placing the sword emoji beside his name. He smirks as he hands the phone back.

“Added your phone number, huh?” you ask rhetorically.

He sucks his teeth as he cracks his fingers. “Yep. How else will I let you know what I might need? Plus, never know when you might need to call me.”

—

You watch the signs overhead illuminate, a gentle tone ringing through the cabin as the Captain starts to make an announcement. You pause the song and pull your AirPod out, watching Jake do the same.

“Hey folks, this is your Captain speaking. Just want to let you know we will be landing in Hamburg shortly. I’d expect to be on the ground in the next ten minutes or so, putting us about fifteen minutes ahead of schedule, so sit tight and we’ll have you on the ground in a few. Attendants please prepare for arrival.”

You turn to look at Jake, shrugging as you slide your AirPod back into the case. He raises his eyebrows and drops his jaw. “But we aren’t done! Wait! Hold on!”

He grabs your phone again, and from what you can see he is adding more songs to your playlist. You watch as he scrolls through various different albums by different artists, adding songs as quickly as he can. You smirk as you catch sight of the emoji he’s chosen, the chick icon, a playful nod at his earlier fledgling comment. He peeks over at you every few seconds, trying his best to hurry so you can pack up your things, but in a last effort you watch as he adds himself as a collaborator to the playlist.

You raise an eyebrow to him as he hands your phone back to you, shrugging with a soft laugh. You feel your insides swirl at the sight of his smile, and you turn your eyes to your phone scrolling through the songs on the playlist. You turn back to him and nod, a silent agreement that you will listen just as you feel the plane starting to land.

“I wanna keep adding songs for you to listen to, fledgling. If you want me to, of course…”

You nod. “Of course I do. School away, Jake,” you reply with an air of playful annoyance.

He chuckles. “I plan to.”

As you brace for the landing you grip your hands into the arm rests, letting go of the soft worn in corduroy fabric you’d been playing with for the last hour. Your eyes squint closed as the plane touches down, jolting everyone forward in their seats. Jake grabs his phone as the plane slows down, flashing his screen at you to show a local time of 12:13AM.

“I see some jet lag in our future,” you smile, sliding his jacket off of your arms. You fold it the best you can and hand it back to him, almost sad you have to give it back to him. “Thanks again for that.”

“Oh yeah, no problem.” He accepts it graciously from you, letting out a soft breath as he unfolds it and slides it back over his shoulders. It fits his personality well, soft and sturdy, worn in and weathered. He flips his hair out from beneath the collar, a barely there smell of peppermint passing through the air. You pull your gaze away from him just as you see his cheeks start to blush from your gaze. You lock your phone and stick it into your backpack at your feet, wondering how in such a short amount of time Jake has managed to infiltrate your thoughts so completely.

JAKE POV

As she turns to grab her bag you open your phone, tapping on the notification that she has added you to her playlist. You accept the invitation with a sly smile before sliding your phone back into your coat pocket. It smells like her now, soft and floral, very different than anything you were used to. Your mind was already circling with things you wanted to add to that playlist when you got a minute, finding it was harder than you thought to think of songs on the fly.

The first few rows begin to file out of the plane and you watch as Paul stands and turns to look at Y/N, motioning to her to meet up with him after she got off the plane. She nods her head and slides her backpack straps over her shoulders, waiting for her turn to stand.

“For jet lag…You know…Um, Benadryl,” you offer, your voice a little soft and unsure.

She turns to look at you, pinching her brows together in question.

“When you get to your room tonight, take a Benadryl. Should knock you out until the morning and help you get on a normal schedule. Works for me, at least.” you finish, nodding to her as the people in front of you stand to leave.

“Thanks, Jake.” She smiles and nods, sliding out of her seat to walk down the aisle.

You watch her as she walks up the jet bridge towards the gate, seeing Paul waiting for her in the doorway. The two walk together through the airport, finding it fairly quiet at this hour as most of the flights have landed for the night. You push your sunglasses down onto your nose just as you feel Josh walking up behind you.

He gives you a gentle nudge in the side to get your attention. “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Easy flight,” you answer, still listening and catching bits and pieces of whatever Paul is saying to Y/N, prepping her for the hotel check in and details for the morning. She is typing notes on her phone as she walks, barely looking where she is going, clearly trusting Paul to look out for her more than she should.

You tune out Josh as he rambles on about the flight, Ty jumping in every few words with a retort or a laugh. Your eyes don’t seem to leave her though, watching her talk, watching her walk, shit, just watching her. You can’t seem to shake it. You’d never met anyone like her before. Someone you were so instantly taken with. You wanted to know every single detail about her.

You feel Josh’s hand as it comes up to your chin, pressing it upward and forcing your jaw shut. “There, you seemed to have dropped that.”

You turn to him angrily, knowing what he’s insinuating, giving him a hard elbow to the arm. “Fuck off, Josh.”

He laughs and pushes you with his shoulder, readjusting his backpack on his other shoulder. “Just an observation, that’s all. Can’t say I blame you, though.”

“Oh are you talking about Jake and Y/N?” Sam interjects, stepping up on your right side in a lanky stride.

Josh nods, laughing slightly, wanting to keep this banter going. Asshole.

“Can you two knock it off, fuck,” you growl, hoping she can’t hear them. Your eyes are locked in on her again, and much to your relief she is talking to Paul and can’t hear a word they’re saying.

“He didn’t shut up the entire flight. Lots of whispering and giggles from up there. I didn’t sleep at all. But I did hear his monologue about the genius of Alt-J for the fourth time this year.” Josh quips, earning a laugh from everyone around you.

“Fuck you again, Josh,” you spit, annoyed at his lack of respect.

“Damn, so you’re trying to scare her away, then?” Sam teases, giving you a sideways grin.

You shake your head and push past them forcefully as you step off the escalator into baggage claim, not wanting to engage in this conversation a second longer. Especially because you were afraid they might be right.

—

“Shit, not again,” Danny mumbles as you all approach the baggage claim area, immediately noticing a group of fans obviously waiting for your arrival. You take a deep, preparational breath as you can’t help but run into them on your path to the carousel.

“Let’s just get it over with,” you hear Josh complain as he puts on his faux-happy face. You all love meeting fans. Truly, watching their faces light up when they see you is something that is unparalleled. But coming off of a long flight and already feeling the effects of the time difference, starving, and ready for a drink usually puts all of you in a mood that is generally irked overall. But you always suck it up; this is the life you signed up for.

This time though, unlike most encounters with fans, is enough to make your general irritation quickly turn into intense aggravation. They swarm you, hugging and pulling and invading your spaces in an extremely unwelcome attempt at meeting each of you. You feel surrounded, and unable to get to your luggage in time before it rounds the carousel again. You keep your cool, just as you always do, curtly smiling and pulling away as your body instructs you to. You pause for quick photos as your eyes search the spinning luggage again. You see your brothers out of the corners of your eyes doing the same… quick ‘hellos’ and ‘nice to meet you’s’ as the crowd just seems to get bigger and bigger.

Just as your eyes finally fall on your suitcase, you hear a loud clack as you turn and notice someone has knocked Sam’s phone out of his hand. It lands face down on the tile floor, likely cracked and scuffed from the people crowding around you all. You watch as Sam’s face turns up in annoyance, his eyes closed as he composes himself.

“Okay, that’ll be enough!” You hear Dean, your security, bellow across the crowd. “Please step away, no more photos, no more photos…” Dean makes his way into the center of group, quickly dispersing them. You give Sam a quick look that says, ‘get your phone, let’s go’, and soon enough you’re rolling your suitcase through the middle of the crowded room.

You see Y/N in the crowd, finding her to be a little flustered from the encounters, but alright nonetheless. You lock eyes with her as she mouths, ‘Are you okay?’, and you nod her off with a look of, ‘Yeah, this happens all the time.’

Your team is surrounding you as you quickly walk through the hallway toward the exit, ready to hop into an unmarked van and zip away to your hotel. You’re still being followed as you make it through the back exit doors.

When you’re finally safe outside the pickup area, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. “Fuck, that was a bad one.” Danny says. “Sam, how's your phone?”

“It’s ok, just a little scuff in the corner but it’ll be fine,” he answers, scanning his eyes over it.

“Guys, keep your phones on, Wes will be texting you tomorrow with where we’re headed next. Get some sleep and something to eat.” Paul instructs as everyone loads their things into the vans. Y/N is standing nearby, and you can tell that she feels a little out of place as she awkwardly crosses one ankle over the other. You take a quick opportunity to knock your elbow into her side, feeling comfortable enough to do that now that you’d sat together so long on the plane, but she’s avoiding eye contact. You hope she doesn’t feel uncomfortable around you.

“Hey, thanks for letting me jam a little with you on the plane,” you say sheepishly. “Sorry if I overstepped any, but I really think you’ll like the music I added for you.”

Finally her composure opens a little. “No, no! You didn’t… overstep. I’m actually excited to hop in my big cozy hotel bed and listen again.” Her words make your stomach fall with nerves, but you quickly suppress it.

“Y/N, you ready?” you hear Wes ask her as he passes by, heading toward another van.

“Yep, all set!” she answers as she follows him through the dwindling group. She hops into another van, and you worry she’ll be staying at another hotel. For a second you think you won’t see her as much if she is. You climb inside the van and slam the door closed behind you, seeing the group of fans with their phones pressed to the windows of the airport. You plop back down into the middle seat beside Josh, and finally take a full breath of relief.

“Fuck! I swear to god if I’m getting sick again…” Josh says as he bangs his head against the headrest behind him. You scoot sideways on the van’s bench seat, staying as far away from him as you can.

“Are you serious?!” Danny says from the seat behind you. “You need a mythical medicine man or some shit.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine, just feel a little congested. I’ll send Y/N out on her first mission for some meds after we get settled in the hotel.” Josh answers, and you keep yourself pressed against the van’s window, purposefully turning your back to him. Can’t have that again. You realize, though, that of course she’ll be in the same hotel as you, management always is.

The vision of a worried Y/N replays in your mind, seeing her face full of concern as the fans did all but ambush you earlier. You shake the thought, suddenly having a realization that, most likely, everyone else is having, too.

“I think we should amp up security,” you blurt. “No offense to Dean, but he’s only one guy. There are more than ten of us…” you’re met with a little bit of silence, so you press on. “Just while we’re over here, at least. We’re going to be separated a lot, and I think it would be a good idea if Dean wasn’t being pulled in all different directions.”

“Don’t you think we should have thought of that before we got over here, Jake?” Josh counters.

“I’ve actually been thinking it for a while. Today just…made me feel like it’s necessary, now,” you respond quietly. What could it hurt? You have the funds, and a few extra eyes on you and your team couldn’t be a bad thing.

You hear a collective sigh from your brothers, until Sam finally speaks. “Yeah, I kinda felt a little overwhelmed when I dropped my phone and it got kicked away from me. First world problems, I know, but—”

“But someone could have picked it up, and ran off with it. Gotten access to your private information. Stepped on it and shattered it. We’re probably just paranoid, but I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a bad idea…” you suggest.

“I like the idea.” Josh adds. “Wish we would have talked about it sooner, but I’m sure Paul could get something arranged for us. Those security companies are always looking for overseas gigs.”

“Daniel, you agree?” you ask, twisting your body to the backseat.

“Yeah, I do, actually,” he decides.

“Good. It’s settled, then. We’ll talk to Paul first thing in the morning,” you say, happy with your decision of bringing it up. All you can see is a memory of Y/N’s scared face replaying over and over in your mind, and you just can’t seem to shake it.

You quickly curse yourself, you’re in no headspace to be worrying about a woman right now. You’ve gotta keep your head on straight. Tour hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already letting a new girl give you butterflies. You audibly scoff at yourself as you lean your elbow on the window, looking out at the bustling streets outside. You throw your earbuds in, letting the tangle of cords just be what it is, and you pull your phone out to switch the volume up. Of course, Alt-J pops onto your screen the second you look at it, and you wonder if she’s already listening to them, too.

The city lights are twinkling through the light drizzle of rain, and you finally feel your bones starting to settle into tiredness. Though your mind is racing with excitement to play shows, you let yourself ignore the thoughts and relax into the music blessing your ears. Some room service and a down comforter is calling your name.

—--

HER POV

The shrill sound of your hotel room telephone wakes you from a half-sleep. What the hell? What time is it? You don’t remember falling asleep, but the loud TV and the lights still illuminating the room signify you must have accidentally dozed off.

“Hello?” you answer, realizing that no matter the time, duty calls.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Paul. Sorry if I woke you…”

“No, you’re fine. I’m awake,” you lie.

“Cool. Um, Josh was wondering if you’d run to the pharmacy down the street and pick up the meds I just texted you. He said he would go get them himself, but he’s doing a lung steaming treatment or… something. I dunno. But if you don’t care, here’s your first assignment! I know it’s late, but the pharmacy is apparently open all night.”

You glance at your watch and see that it’s already nearing 1:00AM. “Sure! I don’t care at all. Tell him I’ll have them to him ASAP.”

“Will do. Hey, turn your location on for me and Wes, okay? Be safe, thanks again,” Paul hangs up the phone before you can say goodbye, and within seconds you’re crawling out of bed and putting your pants back on. Your stomach growls as you realize you fell asleep without eating anything. You make a plan to make a quick trip to the pharmacy, deliver Josh his medicine, then go back out to find something to eat before you end up eating the bag of peanuts you stuffed in your bag on the plane.

You take a second to check your messages, finding you have three unread messages from Ruth. In the mess and confusion of the day, and the time difference, you’ve been thrown for a loop. You shoot her a quick few texts to let her know you’re alive and well, but you leave out the sweet little detail that you’d shared AirPods with the guitarist of the band you’re touring with. You’d get into that part later.

The walk to the pharmacy is short, thankfully, and you find the things Josh needs without much of an issue at all. The city is still fairly crowded with people at this hour, and you make sure to track your steps backward just the way you came to get back to the hotel. Your stomach rumbles again, and the smells coming from the various restaurants around you have your head spinning with hunger.

A few quiet knocks on Josh’s hotel room door bring him to answer it within seconds, and his warm composure instantly makes you feel welcome. “Y/N! Thank you so much, seriously. I need to knock this shit out before it gets any worse, and I think you just saved the day,’ he gushes as you see clouds of steam pouring out of his cracked bathroom door, and smell the sweet scent of herbal fragrances as they waft through your nose. “You have any trouble finding the place? Google said it was close by…”

“Anytime, Josh. And no, actually. It was right around the corner,” you answer, handing him the bag of meds.

“Good. Well I won’t bother you again, you heading to sleep?” he asks with a warm tone.

You bite the inside of your lip as your stomach screams at you again. “No, I passed a little pub on my walk, and it smelled amazing as I walked by. Think I’m gonna go have a drink and get something to eat. I’m starving.”

“Go feed yourself, love. Enjoy the city. We’ve got a long day tomorrow!”

“Will do, see you tomorrow!” you say as he closes the door.

“Thanks again! See ya!”

You make your way to the elevator and down to the bottom floor, digging your phone out of your pocket to check your location and make sure the pub is still going to be open at this hour. A quick search for Le Marmitone tells you the kitchen doesn’t close for another hour, so you pick up your pace and head straight for the pub.

The wind and rain have picked up a little bit, and you thank yourself for adding a few layers on before you left your hotel room earlier. The cold air bites at your cheeks as you meander through the people still out walking the streets, and the smell of the food drifting on the wind draws you straight back to the pub. Upon entering the double doors, you find that it is actually a nice restaurant with a bar.

You grab a seat at the corner of the bar, glancing to the coolers and shelves to see what your drink options are.

“Evening madame, here is a menu. Can I get you a beverage?” a man in a sport coat asks as he hands you the shiny white menu. His accent is thick, but you can understand him fairly easily.

“Hello. Could I have a whiskey soda and a water, please?” you ask as you remove your heavy jacket and hang it over the back of the stool. You look over the menu choices and decide on a bowl of soup and a sandwich, more of a lunch option, but a steaming hot bowl of soup sounds exactly like what you need right now.

There are a few people still scattered throughout the restaurant, most closing their tabs and leaving for the night. There are a few patrons still at the bar, stuck in conversations with one another or watching whatever game is playing on the big screen.

The bartender sets your drinks in front of you as you tell him your food order, and you pull out your phone to begin fishing through emails and making your daily checklists. The Whiskey drink is strong, but not too strong, and you let yourself enjoy the immediate warmth it sends coursing through your veins.

You fill your stomach up as far as it will allow you, and you decide that one more drink probably won’t hurt, as the place doesn’t close up for another hour. You’re enjoying yourself, basking in the calm before the storm that is going to hit promptly at 10AM tomorrow.

“‘Scuse me, sir. I’ll take one more drink and my check, please,” you alert the bartender. He nods and turns to concoct your drink and print your tab. When he returns, he plops a bright red maraschino cherry onto the top.

“Gentleman at the end of the bar says this one is on him, ma’am.” He places the white slip of paper in front of you as he removes your dishes, and disappears. Your eyes slowly drift to the left, landing on an older gentleman who had been lingering at the end of the bar since you’d gotten here. His friends have since left, leaving him to finish off a few more rounds by himself.

He smiles hard when you notice him, and slides off his stool, stumbling his way toward you. You feel your heart rate pick up as he approaches you, and you remember that you do have mace in your purse, should you need it, Ruth’s one request.

“Hello, lovely. Enjoy that drink on me this evening,” he slurs with a heavy accent. He sits down in the stool beside you, and suddenly you’d rather not have that second drink, after all. You glance at the drink, and back to him, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in his presence.

“Um, thank you, really. But I—I’ve actually got to go. It’s getting to be later than I thought…” you lie, pulling out some cash from your purse to pay the bill.

“Nonsense! Have the drink, beautiful. Tell me, where are you from? Your accent tells me it’s somewhere far away from here…” he presses, pushing the drink toward you. His hands are giant, and covered in dark hair. He has a beard of the same color that reaches almost down to his stomach, and you can smell the alcohol radiating from his breath.

“The States,” you say bluntly, avoiding eye contact with him as the bartender is nowhere to be found. You immediately kick yourself for not telling Dean where you had run off to, all by yourself. You know better than this.

“Obviously, sweetheart. But where?” he asks.

“Um, a small town, you’ve probably never heard of it,” you go on, beginning to pull your jacket on and leave the money on the bar top. Suddenly the man’s hand is on the back of the stool, holding it steady as you try to turn it.

“I’d like to hear all about it, love,” he growls, and you suddenly feel very intimidated. There is no one else around, no other patrons at the bar, you couldn’t feel the presence of another human or employee running about, and you contemplated making a run for it.

“I promise I’m not here to scare you, just talk. That’s all I’d like to do…” he goes on, backing his hand away from the chair as he notices your panic. Finally, the bartender makes his way back, but instead of taking your check, he continues cleaning and re-stocking for the night. You’re alone, and uncomfortable. Why did you do this to yourself?

Suddenly you remember that Jake put his number in your phone. You know you can’t get a hold of Dean at this hour, especially since you didn’t tell him you were going anywhere. You can’t make that bad of a first impression before your first day even really happens.

You quickly turn your attention to your phone, trying to figure out what to do, but then it hits you. You type in the name, taking a deep breath before sending Jake a risky text as a last ditch effort.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone, hmm?” the man asks as you turn away from him to type as quickly as you can.

You

1:47AM: Jake, are you awake?

Your foot taps nervously on the floor, the man next to you doing everything in his power to corner you into this seat. A text bounces back after a minute, and you feel your shoulders relax just a touch.

Jake 🗡

1:49AM: How did you get this number?

You

1:50AM: You put it in my phone today on the plane. Are you busy?

Jake 🗡

1:51AM: Oh, hey. No, I’m just getting ready to go to bed, why what’s up? You okay?

You

1:52AM: No. I don’t think so. I hate to ask this, I know it’s late. Is there any way you could come meet me? I left to get something to eat and didn't tell anyone and this guy here has me cornered into my seat and I don't think he is gonna let me leave alone.

Jake 🗡

1:53AM: Share your location, I’m leaving now.

You

1:54AM: Thank you. I owe you.

“Did you hear me sweetheart? I said, are you expecting someone?” the man asks, a sly grin on his face as he leans closer to you.

You quickly glance back down at your phone, sharing your location with Jake and hoping he can find you. You lock your phone and put it in your purse, pretending you’re a lot less anxious than you actually are.

“Actually, yes, I am. My…boyfriend is on his way. He’ll be here in just a second.” you lie, doing your best to speak confidently. “I should probably step outside to meet him.”

“No, no, stay, you haven’t touched your drink,” he says, gesturing to the glass of alcohol. “I know a place down the street, stays open late, too.”

You feel your skin start to grow clammy, the man's intentions suddenly becoming very clear. Your heart is pounding as you try to talk your way out of the situation. You clear your throat, and just as you start to speak you see the front door of the restaurant open. Jake steps inside, looking side to side, his eyes quickly scanning the entirety of the restaurant until he locks eyes with you.

He nods to the host at the door as he walks toward you, wearing the same clothes from earlier but now his hair is a little messier. You know he got out of bed to do this.

You instantly stand from your seat as Jake steps up, reaching towards him as he settles himself between you and the man.

“Hey baby, you finally made it,” you coo, your pleading eyes locked on Jake’s as he wraps his arm around your shoulder in a welcoming hug. You can smell him, the cologne lingering on his coat. The same coat that was wrapped around you only hours ago.

He pulls away and drops his arms to his side as you turn to him. You stare at him just a second longer, hoping he can hear the words you are screaming in your mind. He blinks and turns to look at the man before letting his eyes flick back to you.

“Yeah, yeah, of course babe, sorry I was late,” he pauses, turning to face the drunk man beside him. “Who is this?”

You let out a small breath of relief as he silently agrees to play along with you. “Oh, he came over from the bar. He sent this drink over, but I just can’t drink it. I already had one and you know I work in the morning,” you answer, hoping he is understanding what you’re trying to say. “Do you want it?”

He looks so effortless standing there with a hand in his jacket pocket. He tilts his head and scrunches his nose just a bit before answering, “Ahh, nah…It looks like a watered down well pour and I just had one myself before I got here. I’m alright. We should probably get going though, we have an early day tomorrow and it’s fairly late already.”

Yes.

“Oh, you two are terrible liars. He isn’t your boyfriend, is he sweetheart?” the man asks, scoffing at Jake. “You should come with me, I can show you the city better than this fool.”

“That’s an awfully brazen assumption, sir, I must say.” Jake argues, pulling his hand from his coat pocket and grabbing yours. You suck in a harsh breath feeling his fingers lace with yours. Fake or not, there was definitely a new feeling swirling through your veins.

“Look at her, she’s flustered. This woman hasn’t ever been touched by you. It’s written all over her face.” he continues, looking Jake over.

“Your boyfriend, your husband, he isn’t any of those things. I don’t see a ring on your finger, and I don’t know how they do things where you’re from, but in this country, you my dear, are fair game.”

You want to snap back. The audacity is astounding. You start to step forward, ready to lay into him, but you feel Jake’s hand squeeze yours and you know he’s telling you to follow his lead this time.

“She is with me, sir,” Jake spits. “And it would be in your best interest to back off.”

“Oh, is that right?” the man counters, standing up from his seat, giving him a few good inches over Jake. Jake didn’t falter though. Of course he didn’t. He knew that didn’t matter.

“Kiss her, then. If she’s yours, kiss her,” he quips.

“Absolutely not, I don’t have to prove anything to you, and quite frankly sir, it’s none of your business,” Jake snaps, you can tell he’s starting to get mad, his hand gripping yours a little harder. “Let’s go, babe.”

You stand firm next to him, not letting your face show a single waiver of emotion as the man waits to see if you’ll crack. Jake starts to walk away pulling you behind him, but before you can move the man grabs your other arm, taking both of you by surprise.

“Stay, sugar. Let a real man take you home.”

Jake snaps his head around, hearing the words fall from the man's drunken mouth. For a minute you’re scared. You don’t know how Jake is going to react, his jaw is hard set and his nostrils flared in anger. You hear him curse under his breath as he shakes his head.

“You know what? Fuckin’ fine…” he challenges, looking at the man then to you, nodding just enough for you to notice.

Just as you feel the anxiety of what he is about to do bloom in your chest, he reads your body language, letting a sweet and quiet ‘S’okay’ slip from his lips.

Your eyes widen a little as you realize what’s about to happen, but take solace in the fact that he’s likely just as nervous as you are. He stops, pulling you in towards him as his hand grabs at your waist.

His fingers grip into your hairline as he tilts your head just enough to deepen the kiss. His tongue swipes over your lips, hot and wet as your hands slide up his body to rest on his chest. You kiss him back, you’re trying to sell this as the real thing, but also partly because you just want to. You try not to think about that part too much as you let your tongue flick against his just for a second before pulling it back. You feel the vibration on your lips as the softest groan leaves his mouth just as he pulls away from you.

Your lips are wet with the taste of him and your chest is heaving as Jake rubs his lips together and clears his throat. He turns to the man who is standing there staring at the two of you, a bit of challenge in his tone as he speaks. “You good now?”

The man scoffs, mumbling a curse as he bats at the air between you. You feel yourself relax in Jake’s grip as the man turns to walk back to his original place at the bar. A quiet ‘fuck’ leaves Jake’s mouth as he turns his attention back to you, stepping back and releasing his grip on you.

His eyes search yours just as yours search his, both of you unsure what to say. Instead he looks over to the man again, nodding his head to him as he grabs your hand again and guides you towards the door.

“You okay?” he asks, opening the door and letting you walk out into the drizzle. You pull your jacket closed across your front, the cold air chilling your skin.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Thank you– for that,” you murmur as he steps up next to you. He grabs your hand again, lacing his warm fingers with your cold ones, taking you by surprise.

“Oh, it’s okay now Jake, he isn’t following us,” you offer, looking over your shoulder to check. He doesn’t drop your hand though, in fact you feel his fingertips brush across your knuckles, sending a whole different kind of chill through your body.

“I know,” he answers, smiling shyly as he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye. You’re positive he can see the blush that has taken over your cheeks, your mouth suddenly dry, and your mind unable to form a response. You feel the butterflies swirling around in your stomach as you walk towards the hotel, the rain starting to taper off finally.

“You can trust me, you know,” he says, his voice sincere as he guides you around puddles.

“I barely know you, Jake,” you smile, bumping your shoulder into his.

“For now,” he answers, squeezing your hand in his.

He opens the door to the hotel lobby, the warm air instantly hitting you. Jake drops your hand, your fingertips brushing against his. You kind of miss it, in a way you definitely shouldn’t be.

“Thank you again, for doing all of that. I’m really sorry. I fucked up, I won’t make that mistake again,” you say, watching him press the button for the elevator. Your eyes linger on his lips, a little pink from the cold air outside.

“It was no problem, I promise. Stop apologizing,” he pauses, motioning for you to step into the elevator. “Let me walk you to your room, what floor?” he asks, his finger hovering over the buttons.

“Oh, no it’s really okay, you don’t have to do that. I promise I’m good now,” you stammer, watching his lips turn up in a huff of laughter.

“Y/N, what floor?”

“Nine,” you squeak, your eyes fixated on the dimple in his cheek. You feel your skin growing warm just from looking at him, you feel like you might burst into flames just at the thought of how his lips felt on yours. Did you imagine that whole encounter? No way all of that just happened.

“Me as well,” he says, pressing the button as the doors close.

The two of you ride up in silence, casting each other the occasional glance every few seconds. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you're positive you stopped breathing. The elevator chimes as it reaches the ninth floor, and you nearly jump out of your skin at the sound.

He smiles at you again as the doors open, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him. “Your room number?”

“Um, I think I'm 924, all the way down,” you answer, your heart jumping in your chest.

He nods his head and puts a hand into his pocket. “Alright, I’m just up here in 915, but I’ll walk you down.”

“Jake you really don’t have to, you can just–”

He turns to you and laughs, shaking his head again. “Just let me.”

“Fine.” You huff a breath, pulling your own keycard from your purse. He walks only a step behind you, both hands in his pockets now as you step up to your door. You tap your key to the lock and hear it beep, signaling for you to enter. You turn to look at Jake, seeing a softness to his face you hadn’t noticed until now.

“Thank you, for…being such a gentleman,” you say playfully, smiling at him.

“My pleasure, Miss Y/N. There is some chivalry left in the world…” he answers, bringing his hand up to rub at his lips.

You start to enter your room, and hear him speak again, this time very quietly. “We’re not all bad.”

You turn around to see him shifting his weight still rubbing his fingers over his chin as if he expected you not to hear him.

“What?”

He hesitates as he makes eye contact with you, clearly shocked you heard him. You can tell he wants to say something but he’s holding back. Maybe you’ve spooked him.

He shakes his head with a smile, as if telling himself whatever he wanted to say was stupid. He pulls his phone and his keycard from his pocket and grips them in his hand. “Nothing, nothing, um, have a good evening. I will see you in the morning, I suppose.”

You nod once, giving him a sweet and appreciative smile, “See you in the morning.”

He lingers for just a moment, eyes locked on yours before flicking down to your lips. He catches himself and looks back at you before turning to head down the hallway. You shut the hotel room door and twist the lock, letting out the breath you had been holding with a gasp.

You spin around, letting your back press against the door as you sink down to the floor with a barely audible squeal. Holy. Shit. What the hell was that?

Pull yourself together Y/N.

You grab your purse and stand up, digging through it as fast as you can in search of your phone. You have no earthly idea what time it is in Nashville but you don’t care as you pull up your texts with Ruth, and begin furiously typing.

You

2:34AM: Without going into detail I definitely just kissed the guitarist 🫢

You toss your bag onto the chair and change into your pajamas, your blood still rushing around in your body as you try to calm your nervous system. A text bounces back, and you know it’s her.

Ruth

2:40AM: WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL???? KISSED? I just got to my desk!!!! I’m here. I’m sat. I’m listening. I want every single detail in a five paragraph essay with MLA formatting.

You

2:42AM: Lol it is 2:40 in the morning. I will call you tomorrow, which is really still today for you, but kinda tomorrow for me? I don’t know this is confusing but I will call you and give you the full run down because we also shared airpods on the plane and he made me a playlist? Love you goodnight!

Ruth

2:44AM: AIRPODS? A PLAYLIST??????

2:45AM: Y/N NO! GET BACK HERE

2:45AM: Okay. Hang on, I’m googling him. I need to see this man’s face

2:46AM: Wait there’s two guitarists

2:46AM: Ok one is the bassist HELLO?? You kissed HIM?! Aldjsfklsk

2:48AM: It’s totally fine and I am being so normal about this. Talk to you later, if I haven’t pulled all my hair out by then! I’ll be creeping his insta all day! Goodnight!

You laugh as you read her onslaught of messages, knowing that she is likely going out of her mind with possible scenarios. You make your way into the bathroom, washing your face and brushing your teeth so that you can positively melt into the bed and sleep until your alarm forces you awake. You’re patting your face dry as your phone buzzes on the bathroom counter, but the noise it makes isn’t one you’re familiar with. You hang the towel on the ring and pick up your phone, seeing a notification come through that is brand new to you.

‘Jake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

He what?

Now?

Your blood runs cold just seeing his name on your phone after…well…whatever that was.

You turn off the bathroom light, hesitantly sliding your finger across the notification, and letting it bring up the playlist. There at the very bottom you see that a new song was added two minutes ago. But not just any song, no. You know this one. You know this one well. You tap on the song hearing the familiar and haunting guitar riff of ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None the Richer start to play through your phone speakers.

You can’t help but to laugh, a smile of shock has your jaw hanging wide open as you stand in your giant fancy hotel room, listening to what you consider to be a fairly romantic song sent straight to you from none other than your knight in shining, well, corduroy, armor. You couldn’t even picture him listening to this song, and somehow that almost made it a little better.

As the chorus plays you fall backwards onto your bed, the fluffy white sheets enveloping you as a giddy feeling swirls through your chest. He’s thinking about me. He’s thinking about that kiss. You felt guilty for thinking about it, but now? Now you weren’t feeling so guilty. He liked it just as much as you did, clearly.

Jake Kiszka liked kissing you.

You.

What?

You couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of your face if you had to. You didn’t want to. This was quite possibly the most thrilling thing that has happened to you in months. Years! You had all but forgotten about creepy bar man at this point, but god you have half a mind to walk right back into that bar and shake his hand.

But, you knew you had to calm down. Take a breath. The song came to a close, leaving the hotel room silent. Your mind was still swimming in bliss, replaying the feeling of his lips on yours, the way his hands held yours, the way he smelled, the way his lips tasted, oh god… He was thinking about your kiss. He all but told you so.

You were also thinking about that kiss. He wanted you to know he was thinking about it. How can you– Oh. A sly grin spreads across your face as you type into the search bar.

You find the song you’re looking for, your thumb hovering over the add button as you try to talk yourself out of doing this. It could end badly, terribly, really. He is technically your boss, and you know you shouldn’t be doing this, but. Hey, you’re just the runner. You smile as you watch the little box pop up reading ‘Added’.

Your heart starts to pound. Did he get a notification? Is he asleep? Did he see it? Will he understand? Since when did you start communicating with people through song titles?

You rush back to the playlist scrolling to the bottom and smiling as you press play on the new addition to your shared playlist. It's mere seconds before ‘Do It Again’ by Steely Dan starts to play and you laugh, knowing you are absolutely crazy. Do it again, of course you wanted to do it again. God he probably thinks you’re such a loser. Plot twist, you are, but he doesn't have to know that yet.

You listen to the song, plugging your phone into the charger and turning off the lamp. You’ve always loved Steely Dan, it reminds you of your dad, but then again who doesn’t it remind of their dad? The song comes to a close, your giddy feeling finally starting to wear off as the exhaustion starts to step into its place. Your eyes feel heavy as you roll towards the nightstand to set your alarm, groaning at how soon it’s coming. You lock your phone and settle into the pillows, letting out a content sigh as you recap the day in all of its insane glory.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, the glow illuminating the room for just a brief second. You freeze as you stare up at the ceiling, almost too scared to look. Did he add another song? What if he changed his mind? What if you overstepped? Oh god. You should not have done that. What were you thinking?

You suck in a breath as you grab your phone, nervously tapping the screen that shows no new songs added, but a text from Jake.

Jake 🗡

3:04AM: I fully intend to.

Oh, he definitely saw it.

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builtbybrokenbells · 7 months ago

Text

Heartbreak Hot Seat | JTK

After seeking refuge at her best friends house, Y/N can’t seem to open up enough to let Josh help her with her troubles. In a twisted turn of events, it appears that his twin brother Jake has the perfect remedy for a broken heart.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 20k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), oral (m!receiving), body worshipping, sir kink, impact play, praise, degradation, biting, nipple play, lots (and I mean lots) of dirty talk, lots (can’t stress that enough) of foreplay, body shots, softer sex (compared to what I usually write), overstimulation, multiple orgasm, (sort of) forced orgasm, simultaneous orgasm, begging, very brief and inadvertent mentions of free use kink, slight dom/sub, name calling, touch of angst, mentions of cheating/bad past relationships, breakups, sadness/depression (due to breakups), crying, long emotional talks, drinking, parting, Jake being too sweet for his own good, soft Jake, fluff, swearing, sorry if i miss any!!

hi guys ☺️ i miss writing Jake so much I had to hit you with back to back fics. this is literally porn w plot (over 2/3 of this is just smut I think), so I hope you enjoy this as much as I liked writing it! As always, enjoy, be kind, don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍 (I’m so, so happy to be back) (lightly edited 🥰)

“Here, you want to try this?” Josh asked, nudging your arm in hopes of breaking you from your solemn state. You blinked a few times, feeling his elbow on your skin, but his words were far away. They seemed like an echo in an empty room, like you had walked into the place only after he stopped speaking. Breathing seemed like a treacherous task, your bones aching every time your lungs inflated. You stared blankly at his hand, holding a fork in his grasp as he kindly offered you a taste of whatever he was eating. “Jake made it, it’s good.”

Jake made it.

You were sure whatever he made would be good, but the thought of food was worse than sickening to you. You wanted to be kind, to try the meal your friend (even if by extension) had made, especially after he offered you the hospitality for an afternoon hangout his home, but you couldn’t seem to accept the gracious offer. The crowd in the living room was overwhelming, despite only a few bodies being present. The chatter was loud and pulsing against your already busy brain, and Josh’s leg resting against yours was nice, but much more than you could handle in the moment.

Josh knew there was something wrong, but unlike usual, he could not seem to pry it from you. Over the last three nights you had spent crashing in his spare room, he used every ounce of energy to comfort you despite being unaware of what exactly your troubles were. You knew you could reach out to him anytime, talk to him about anything, but right now, it seemed impossible to speak the words aloud.

You had been friends with the boy for what seemed like a lifetime, surviving off his constant company and thriving off his eccentric personality. He stuck by your side through college graduations, career changes, and every challenge life seemed to throw your way. You were a busy woman, and he a busy man, and neither of you had much time for social lives outside of your demanding work schedules. Even so, that fact made your friendship all the stronger, because despite your lack of free time, you always made time for each other.

So when you showed up at his doorstep, 3am and crying while spewing absolute nonsense, he guided you to his spare bedroom and told you that it was yours for as long as you needed. The next morning, he came to check on you only to find you hadn’t slept at all. Hours spent sitting beside you attempting to cheer you up only resulted in further confusion and frustration. Despite his busy life, he cleared his schedule and made it a priority to be with you until you felt better. That afternoon, you managed some small talk, but avoided the elephant in the room. The next day, things felt a little more normal between the two of you. A few jokes were shared, and you even had a movie night in the living room with him and his partner. By then, Josh had vowed to let you speak on your own terms, but was doing everything he could to brighten your mood.

Today, when you woke from a broken and nightmare filled sleep, Josh knocked at your door to ask if you would like to get out of the house. After some internal debate, you decided it might be good for you, it might help you forget the only thing you could seem to think about, even if it was temporary. You showered (with Josh talking through the door and stressing the importance of self-care, of course), changed into some clothes you stuffed into a duffel bag during your quick escape, and the three of you hit the road.

After a short drive, you landed at the door of his twin brother’s house, where you would spend your afternoon. Jake, who you had heard loads of things about, was still a mystery to you. Between conflicting schedules and trying (and failing, sometimes) to find time to hang out with Josh, you never got much of an opportunity to get to know Jake, or even Sam for that matter. You knew he was quieter, a little more reserved than Josh, but was funny and had a heart of gold. You chalked up his praise to being his brother, but you never knew Josh to be a liar about anything. You trusted all he had to say about his brothers, and despite your sadness, you were excited to finally meet them properly, rather than just in passing.

You said a brief hello to Jake at times, mostly when you were leaving Josh’s house and he was heading in. You remembered him to be on the shorter side, but with a breathtaking smile and long, brown hair. When you stepped foot into the house and finally had time to appreciate the man standing in front of you, you understood Jake was a lot more than a pretty smile and long hair. He was stunning, and despite your broken heart, you couldn’t help but stare.

Not long after your brief introduction, the rest of the crowd begin to filter in. Sam and his girlfriend both seemed lovely, and Daniel and the friend he brought with him were just as nice. Jake had made lunch, and whatever it was smelled heavenly even if the thought of food sickened you. After a few hours of laughing and talking, the boys went back for seconds, clearing out the last of the food in the kitchen. The day was dwindling into evening, and you still hadn’t managed to break from your solemn state. You sat, listening to all of the conversations and laughing along to jokes, but didn’t find yourself with enough energy to contribute much.

Josh, clearly picking up on your lack of involvement, was doing all he could to help. Offering food was just another failed attempt of many.

“I’m okay, Josh. Thank you though.” You forced a smile, feeling guilty for your constant rejection. You wanted to tell him so badly, but every time you worked up enough courage to explain it, your words failed you and you thought you might be sick. His sad eyes seemed to be staring into your soul, and it was becoming too much to bear. “I’m, uh, is it okay if I grab something to drink?” You cleared your throat, asking for permission in hopes of changing the subject.

“F’course it is, mama.” He assured you. “You want me to come with you?”

“No, it’s okay.” You assured him, sliding forward and rising to your feet.

“Grab anything in the fridge. I know Jake won’t care.” He said, making sure you didn’t feel bad about taking anything.

“Okay.” You smiled, small but genuine. You didn’t feel deserving of Josh’s kindness, but you were still grateful he cared for you so much. If not for him, you would have nobody to lean on.

Quietly, you walked out of the living room and in the direction of the kitchen Jake had lead you to earlier in the day. When you were alone, you let out a long sigh. The kitchen was decorated nicely, simple but tasteful, and the sweet smell of whatever Jake had cooked was still lingering in the air. Instead of walking to the refrigerator, you took a seat at one of the kitchen chairs pulled out from the table, deciding a minute alone was more important than a glass of water.

You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back on your shoulders. The chatter floating in from the next room was much less overwhelming, and you finally felt like you could breathe without the constant ache in your chest. Just when you felt like you were getting your bearings back, you heard soft footsteps puttering through the hallway. You swallowed the lump in your throat, the same one that was constantly bothering you since you showed up at Josh’s house, and prepared for another round of questions from your best friend. You didn’t turn to face him, figuring he would make himself known in due time.

“Hey, Y/N, right?” The voice was not as familiar to you, and definitely not the voice you thought it would be. You looked over your shoulder, curious as to who was talking. Your eyes landed on Jake, a sheepish smile on his face as he stood by the door.

“Hey, yeah.” You nodded, trying to make yourself friendlier than you felt. It was not Jake making you miserable, or anyone for that matter. You wanted to be having fun, to be getting to know the people most important to your best friend, but the weight on your shoulders made it so hard to enjoy the moment.

“I saw you sneak out, thought I’d come and check in on you.” He explained, careful with his words. “Mind if I sit?” You gave a chuckle, and genuine smile as you listened to his words.

“It’s your kitchen, Jake, f’course you can sit.”

“Right,” he nodded, stepping towards you. “Guess I was wondering if you were up for company, or if you just needed a minute alone. I know it can be a lot to handle when we’re all together.”

“No! You guys are great, guess I’m just not in it today.” You said, knowing he hit the nail straight on the head but you were too nice to admit it. “Come sit, please.” He did as you said, pulling out the chair at the head of the table. He was in perfect view and facing you, giving you ample opportunity to soak in his features as he thought about how to continue the conversation.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. Josh mentioned you were going through a tough time when I called him this morning. We were kinda hoping it would take your mind off whatever’s going on.” You wanted to recoil at the idea of Josh sharing your sorrows with a man you did not know, but the intent was sweet, and you knew Josh would never do anything to harm you. He was just a concerned friend looking for a way to cheer you up. Jake, despite being a near stranger, had enough kindness in his heart to want to help too.

And sweetheart.

You didn’t know the man, nor much about him, but you definitely wouldn’t mind if he called you that again.

“Thank you,” your lips twitched into another smile as you looked down at your hands on the table. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

“Josh?” Jake asked for clarification that he heard right, raising his eyebrow at you. You gave a small nod, almost wanting to laugh at his incredulous tone. “Yeah, I mean I guess. I kind of have to agree, cause he’s my brother and all.” At that, a genuine laugh filled the air, the first one that left your lips in days. Jake was hung on your laugh the minute it left your lips, finding the sound addicting despite just having heard it for the first time. The smile on his face made it apparent he only came to cheer you up, and he was happy he could do it even for a moment. “No, he is pretty great, even if I do hate him by times.”

“It’s a sibling thing, I think.” You said, looking back up at his face. “Love them, even when you hate them.”

“Exactly.” He nodded, agreeing with you. “He’s my best friend, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill him sometimes. Has a great heart, but he can be a bit… annoying.”

“Josh? No.” You scoffed, playing into the bit as clear sarcasm dripped from your tone. At that, Jake let out a laugh of his own. You watched, in amazement at how beautiful such a simple sound could be. “Seriously though, I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“Yeah, you guys have been friends for a long time, haven’t you?” He asked, leaning forward and into the conversation. It was your turn to nod, finding years of memories flash before your eyes when you thought of it for too long.

“Yeah, I met him as I was finishing up my graduate program in university. He’d just moved here, and I guess he was looking for some friends. Right place right time, I suppose.”

“Funny how things like that work out.” He said, listening intently to every word.

“For sure.” You hummed, pursing your lips slightly at the memory of how you met. “Ran into him at a bar, drunk off tequila and singing a terrible rendition of… oh, fuck, what was it?” You racked your brain, trying so hard to find the name of the song in the mess of your mind. “It was Neil Young, I remember that much.” You sighed, shaking your head at your spotty memory.

“Don’t Let It Bring You Down.” He finished for you, a sparkle shining in his eye as he saw your expression light up.

“Yes! How did you know?” You asked, shocked he knew before you did.

“I was there that night, and I definitely made fun of him just as much as you did.” He explained, chuckling at the thought.

“You were there?” You asked, even more surprised at that fact.

“Yeah, think I was playing pool with Sam. Josh sucks at pool, so he was trying to find a thrill elsewhere. He told us he met someone, he really liked their ‘energy’. Guess he was talking about you.” He continued, nodding at himself as he recollected the night from so long ago. “That, and he sings that damn song every time he drinks tequila.”

“Huh,” you huffed, wondering how you managed to miss him that night. “I guess I was out the door pretty fast. I don’t even think I talked to Josh for very long. Got his number and we were off to the next bar. We loved to party back then.”

“Shame, cause he’s been keeping you an awful secret for the last few years.” Jake let out a disapproving tsk at the end of his statement.

��No, it’s not him.” You promised, shutting down the notion. “Life’s crazy. I’m either always stuck at work, or at home—“ you cut yourself off, hearing the sound of the word fall from your lips. It was wrong, and so much so that it twisted your stomach with nausea. “Stuck at work.” You doubled back, feeling a frown start to form again. The word home felt like a sour taste in your mouth that you couldn’t swallow back.

Jake watched you for a moment, curious about your sudden change of heart, but understanding it might not be the best time to venture into it.

“Did you want a drink, sweetheart?” Jake asked, his eyes flickering to the fridge. “Maybe something to take your mind off it?” You debated, wondering if it would better or worsen your mental state. Before you could decline, he spoke again. “I was gonna have one anyway, so it’s no trouble at all. Be nice to have someone to drink with, anyway.”

“Fuck it, why not?” You breathed, watching as another breathtaking smile blossomed on his lips. “I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Great.” He stood, taking two steps past you as he approached a cabinet by the refrigerator. “Want to come have a look?” He offered, looking back over his shoulder at you. You shrugged, nodding as you stood to join him. He opened the doors, revealing a plethora of bottles that all looked a little more expensive than you were used to. “Whatever you want.”

You noticed how close he was standing, how sweet his cologne smelled as it wafted in your direction. It was musky, ambery even, with sandalwood standing strong against the undertones. He had his finger resting against his chin as his eyes scanned the labels, clearly unsure of what he wanted, too. You couldn’t help but study the intricacies of his face, the bridge of his nose and how it casted a shadow over his soft cheeks, the unintentional pout of his bottom lip, and the enchanting colour of his irises. He was stunning, and it was hard not to notice it.

‘Stop it, Y/N. You’re in no position to think anyone is attractive, let alone your best friends brother.’ Your thoughts were right, full of warnings you knew you should listen to, yet there was something so enchanting about Jake that made it difficult to listen. ‘Thinking he’s attractive is only bad if I plan to act on it, which I’m definitely not. It’s okay to admire him, as long as that’s all it is.’ You felt the devil weigh in on the matter, and for some reason, that train of thought was much easier to go along with.

So you did. Simple as that, you decided to allow yourself the pleasure. It was almost as simple as acknowledging how beautiful Jake was.

“Anything catching your eye?” He asked, looking over at you. You knew he was aware of your staring, and when your eyes caught his, your cheeks tinged red. He gave you a smile, silently telling you all was well.

“There’s so much to choose from.” You said, forcing yourself to look back at the liquor cabinet.

“Do you like it straight, or do you prefer something sweet?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you once again. Although the question was innocent and clearly pertaining to the topic at hand, you couldn’t help but feel your heart speed. Your body was encased in goosebumps at the simple thought of him meaning it in any other way.

“Usually sweet, but I think today I could handle it straight.” You replied, having to tear your eyes away from him again. Had you looked for a moment longer, you might have noticed the ghost of a smirk on his face.

“This is my favourite.” He said, reaching out and grabbing an expensive looking bottle. He brought it down to your level, leaning into you slightly as he let you read the label for yourself. As his arm brushed against yours, you felt the same pull of your heart as you did when he first sat across from you.

“I’ll try it out.” You mumbled, a little breathless as he looked over your face.

“Good taste,” he hummed. “You’ll like it, I promise.” He assured you, his tongue darting out over his bottom lip ever so slightly.

“I trust you.” You said, feeling like you were coercing your tongue to speak the words.

“You should.” He responded, waiting for you to step away first. It felt like an eternity before you stepped backwards towards the table, but when you did, you missed the closeness of him almost immediately. The warmth of his body against yours was memorable, and definitely something you wanted to feel again.

You returned to your seat at the table, followed closely behind by Jake. Before he sat, he grabbed two glasses and the ice tray from the freezer. Carefully, he poured yours first before adding a few ice cubes to the cup. Then, he nudged it in your direction before fixing his own drink.

“What’s on your mind, beautiful?” He asked, swirling his ice around his cup before bringing it to his lips. As he sipped at the amber liquid, his eyes never left your face.

“Oh, nothing important.” You shook your head, averting your gaze to the glass in your hand. You did the same, raising the crystal to your lips and drinking down the alcohol like it was water.

“You’re drinking that awfully fast for someone who’s got ‘nothing important’ going on.” He noted, cocking his head to the side for a moment, as if he was trying to figure you out. “I’ve got an ear to lend, if you want to talk.” He offered, but opted not to press any further. He didn’t want to force you if you weren’t willing, but he did want you to know that the floor was yours if you needed.

“I wouldn’t want to bore you.” You chuckled, watching the condensation of the glass drip onto your fingers. The chill of the liquid distracted you from the severity of the topic. “You’ve been kind enough already, Jake. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”

“No thanks needed, y/n. Seriously, Josh talks about you enough that I feel like I already know you, and trust me when I say, I like you just as much as he does.” He promised, taking another small sip of his drink. “And I offered, sweetheart. I want to listen, even if you don’t think I do.”

“What is with you two?” You chuckled, shaking your head at his staggering kindness. “Too nice for your own good, both of you.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” He grinned, finding your exasperation amusing.

“No, it’s not.” You shook your head, feeling your heart warm with gratitude for the two brothers. You barely knew Jake, but you agreed with what he said. Josh spoke about him enough that you felt like you were friends already, and by all of the nice things Josh had to say, you definitely liked him. Since stepping foot into the kitchen, you had come to greatly appreciate him for other reasons, too.

“That’s the heartbreak chair.” He explained, running a hand through his hair as he pushed it away from his face. “Something about it draws people in.” Your eyes flickered up to his face, shocked that he made such an assumption, and even more surprised that it was right. He barely knew you, but he could tell without you having to say a word.

“It’s that obvious?” You asked. He shook his head, rubbing his chin in his hand for a moment before he spoke again.

“No,” he cleared his throat, taking in a long breath before he continued. “Like I said, there’s something about that fuckin’ chair.”

“How so?”

“Two years ago, Sam sat there when his girlfriend broke up with him. Must’ve spent the whole night sitting there, drinking away the pain.” He said, thinking back on the event. “And Daniel, a few months back when him and his girlfriend went separate ways. Even Josh, a long time ago when we first moved here.” He explained. “Whatever it is, when people get their heart broken, they sit there. I usually sit here, but it’s not always me they’re talking to. Sometimes it’s Josh, or another friend, or anyone really.” You thought about his words, carefully considering your next question before asking it.

“Have you sat here?” Your eyes were showing the sadness you tried so hard to hide. You didn’t know why, but you were comfortable with Jake. You wanted to talk, to tell him all about the sadness plaguing you. Something about him made you believe that your sorrows were safe with him, and that he was the key to feeling better.

It was an invasive question, something personal and maybe too complicated for him to answer. You regretted asking, but hearing about his brother's sorrows didn’t sit right with you. If you were giving him a piece of you, you wanted a piece of him. He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering between your face and the whiskey in his cup. Eventually, he gave a slow nod.

“More than anyone else, I think.” His honesty was sobering, and it was admirable. Because of his willingness to share his sadness with you, you felt even better about opening up to him. “I’ve never been lucky in love. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” He shrugged, the joke rolling off his tongue effortlessly despite the hidden pain in his eyes. “About six months ago, I was doing the same as you. Came home, she was gone without a trace. I stayed a few nights at Josh’s house, just ‘till I was strong enough to come back here, and I drank it all away. I’ve sat in that chair, sweetheart. You’re not the only broken heart this house has seen. Trust me.”

“It’s hard to open up to Josh about it.” You said, forcing your hand to hold the glass to the table. The burn of the alcohol in your chest was much preferred to the ache in your heart, but you persevered. “‘Specially when I watch how happy and in love he is. He’s got everything, you know? Nice house, kind heart, beautiful face, and a wonderful boyfriend. It’s intimidating talking about my mess of a life to someone who always seems to have their shit together.”

“I can see what you mean.” He nodded along, agreeing to an extent. “You know, he’d never think differently of you. He loves you a whole hell of a lot.”

“I know that, but I think when you’re this miserable, it’s hard to believe anyone cares that much.”

“For sure.” He said, swallowing down another mouthful of whiskey.

Just as he placed his cup down on the table, the distant chatter in the living room began to move closer. Both of you turned to the entryway to the kitchen, wondering what the disturbance was. Soon enough, the crowd filled the doorway, but only Sam and Josh were visible.

“Think we’re gonna head to the bar, you two in?” Sam asked, oblivious to the situation in front of him.

“I’m good.” Jake said, his tone firm and certain of his answer. Josh looked at you, curiosity in his eyes as he waited for a response.

“Y/N?” Josh asked, wondering if you were joining them. You looked between the twins, your eyes lingering a bit too long over Jake. When you looked back at Josh, you shook your head slightly.

“Think I might hang out here a bit longer, if that’s okay?”

“F’course it is.” Jake chimed in. “You go, I’ll get her back to your place safe and sound.” Josh looked to you once more, making sure you were alright. You gave him a smile, nodding your head in agreement with Jake.

“Okay, I’ll see you later. Love you, mama.”

“Love you too, Josh.” You smiled again, wider and with more warmth than ever.

With that, the group moved towards the door, and they were out in the yard within seconds. The silence hung heavy between you and Jake, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. So far, despite you being a stranger, your talk with Jake had been nothing but comfortable.

“So, does that mean you don’t think I have my life together?” Jake continued where you left off, clearly teasing. The smile on his face gave him away as he pulled his chair a little closer to you.

“‘Spose I don’t know you well enough to know, yet. From what I see, looks like you do, if that counts?” He let out a laugh, finding your humor despite the pain beautiful.

“You hungry?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Noticed you didn’t eat earlier.”

“Think I missed the draw on that one.” You said, looking at the empty dish on the stove. He stood, wordless as he walked to the refrigerator. He searched for a few seconds before pulling out a plate, flashing it in your direction.

“Put some away for you, just in case. I knew they would eat it all, so I just wanted to make sure there was some left.” He explained. The sound of his words made your heart ache, but it wasn’t in a bad way; the simple action, especially coming from someone who barely knew you, made the whole world seem a little bit brighter. You understood Josh’s constant talk of how big of a heart Jake had now that you had the chance to see it for yourself.

“Thank you, Jake.” You mustered the strength to speak, in awe of his attention to detail. He stuck it in the microwave, waiting for it to beep before placing it in front of you with a fork. Without mentioning it again, he sat back in the same spot, as if the last few minutes had never happened at all.

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked again, more direct this time now that he felt he had some kind of leverage. Clearly he made a good enough impression on you, considering you hadn’t run out the door when the opportunity arose. Before responding, you took a few bites of the meal he’d made in preparation for his company. Your eyes fluttered closed in bliss, the taste something you had never experienced before. You weren’t sure if it was just because he was a good cook, or if it was because it had been days since you had a proper meal. Maybe, it was a combination of both.

For such a simple looking pasta dish, it was beyond anything you had ever eaten before.

“This is so fucking good, Jake.” You commended him for his efforts. He let out another laugh, happy that you were enjoying it.

“Good to know,” he nodded. “I’ll have to make it for you again sometime.”

“You’ll never get rid of me.” You joked, placing the fork down for a moment, wanting to make the meal last.

“Not the worst idea in the world.” He shrugged. You felt your cheeks dust with redness, his words almost too sweet for you to handle. You washed down the pleasant feeling of his compliments with another sip of whiskey, settling back in your seat as you prepared to confess.

“I think I’ve always been too blind to see the bad side of people,” you started, simple and easy to kick off the topic. “I like to see the best in everyone, ‘till the very end.”

“Admirable.” He responded quickly, shocking you with his interest in your sorrows.

“I dated this guy for a while, a few years at least. Guess it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but I loved him, or the idea of him, more so. He moved in with me not long after we met, and it was nice. Things seemed real good for a long time, but a couple months ago, he kinda pulled back a bit. I didn’t think much of it, ‘cause I was working all the time anyway, but I probably should have.” You sighed. “I started noticing he was gone when I came home at night, or when he went out, he stayed out far too late for a couple drinks with friends. Found some… suspicious things around the house, but chalked it up to a bad memory.” You laughed, shaking your head at your own stupidity. “I went home after work on Friday, and he was in bed with another girl. Mutual friend, real pretty, sweet on the surface… everything that I’m not.”

“That’s not true, sweetheart.” He shook his head, stopping that thought before it could go any further.

“Think we were long overdue for a breakup, but I thought it would be more decent than that.” You shuddered, recalling the moment that had been plaguing you for days. “I’m less heartbroken over him than I am for the whole thing. It’s just… dehumanizing, I guess. How many times did we… you know, after they started? And in my bed? Where I sleep at night?” You continued, watching the ice circle the bottom of your cup as the liquid neared the end. Jake reached out for the bottle, popping the cork and refilling your glass for you. You smiled, a silent thank you for everything he was doing.

“There wasn’t really a fight, or anything. I mean, I yelled for a little while, but it wasn’t worth my time. I told him to pack his shit and get out, and I assume he did. I haven’t been back, but I haven’t heard from him, either. Guess I just… don’t want to be in that place right now, alone, with that memory.”

“Don’t know the guy, but I can tell you he’s a fucking idiot.” He said, throwing back the last of his drink and refilling his own cup. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to be home. Like I said, I stayed at Josh’s for a while too. Sometimes it’s nice to get out of the place full of stuff that reminds you of them.”

“Yeah, exactly.” You gave a somber nod, blinking away tears threatening your eyes. “Think it always circles back to the same thing at the end of the day… hard not to think it’s me, that I wasn’t enough, or if I could have done more. That’s the hardest part of it, really. Not like he was the boyfriend of the year or anything, but I never would have done that to him.” You took another long swig of whiskey, feeling your head begin to swirl with intoxication.

“It’s not you, Y/N. You know better than that.” He said, furrowing his brow as he thought over your story. “So what is it? What do you need?”

“What?” You asked, unsure of what he meant.

“He got what he wanted, so what do you need, sweetheart? To scream? Cry? To get so drunk that you don’t know where you are?” He listed the offers, as if they were all completely reasonable and understandable. He didn’t want to speak empty words, or give you reassurances that would wash right off your shoulders once he was done speaking. He wanted to help you feel better, however he could. “We could even key his car, if you know where to find it.”

You let out a laugh, one that shook your shoulders and made your stomach ache. While you laughed, tears slipped on to your cheeks, but they did not phase you. Jake’s company was so fantastic that the hurt didn’t even seem to bother you anymore.

“You’re too beautiful to be crying over someone like that, sweetheart.” He leaned over, using his thumb to brush away the teardrops staining your cheeks. Once he finished, he cupped your cheek in his palm, ensuring you knew he was being truthful.

“No idea how you’ve never been the bride, Jacob.” You said, exhaling a long breath as you melted into his touch. It felt nice to be touched at all, and even better to be touched by someone who cared. It felt like it had been an eternity since you had experienced that in particular.

“My day will come, just like yours will.” He promised. “I know it hurts, but with time, you’ll thank him for it, because a girl like you shouldn’t end up with a guy like that.”

“Thank you, Jake.” You said, the utmost sincerity in your voice.

“Don’t mention it.” He brushed off the thanks, smiling over at you. “Now what is it? What will make you feel better, right now? ‘Cause I’ll be damned if I send you out the door before you feel better.”

“I just want to stop.” You sighed, rubbing your face in your hands. “I want to stop hurting, to stop thinking about him, to stop feeling like a different person. I want to feel like me. I want to feel good, instead of being miserable.” Jake leaned back in his chair, watching your face carefully as he thought about your request. You looked over at him, chuckling at yourself. “I know, steep request. Probably not much in the world we can do about that. Yet, anyway.”

“No, there is.” He cleared his throat, pursing his lips together slightly. You raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued by his response.

“Go on.” You urged him, curious about his idea.

“I don’t know if I can help you feel exactly like yourself again,” he started, looking up at the ceiling while he tried to word his response. “But I definitely have a quick solution for some of those problems.”

“Let’s hear it, then.” He smirked at your eagerness to feel better. Before he continued, he threw back the last of his drink for a second time. You could tell he was feeling it now, too. His cheeks were tinged pink and his eyes grew heavier the longer he sipped away.

“You’re open to any suggestions?”

“Well, most.” You huffed, almost annoyed by how long he was dragging this out. “Maybe not murder or armed robbery.” He laughed at your exuberance, shaking his head slightly.

“Well, sweetheart…” he sighed. “You want to stop thinking about him, and you want to feel good.” He listed, waiting to see if he was correct. You nodded in response, still not seeming to piece the two together. “If you’re open to trying it, I’m sure I could solve both of those problems at once.”

“Okay, Jake, this is not helping. Can you just—“ you cut yourself off, your eyes widening in shock as the puzzle finally clicked in place. You swallowed hard, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. As you looked at his expression, your cheeks burned red and your throat went dry. “Just to clarify, are you offering what I think you are?”

“Depends, beautiful.” He said, his tone soft and his eyes trained to your face. “What do you think I’m saying?”

“Are you offering to fuck me?” You wanted to be repulsed by the idea, but you were far from it. If anything, the feeling burning in the pit of your stomach told you the exact opposite, imploring you to fall into his arms and let him do as he pleased with you.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that would get your mind off him.” He argued his point, playful and calm so you knew rejection was more than allowed. “And if you’ll let me, I know I could help with that other part, too.” He let out a small huff of breath, as if he was excited just by the prospect of the opportunity.

“You offer that to every heartbroken girl who sits in this chair?” You asked, ensuring he knew you weren’t denying the offer.

“No,” he shook his head. “You’d be the first, and the only one, I think.”

“You think?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Never know what the future brings.” He shrugged, trying to keep his composure. As soon as he saw your bewildered face, he doubled over in laughter. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, but when he did, he did not seem to retract his statement. When he realized you took his words seriously, he stood from his chair, stepping towards you as he spoke.

“Yes, sweetheart. The only one. Is that what you wanted to hear?” He asked, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

“Yes, maybe? I don’t know.” You said, your eyes darting around the kitchen to avoid his heavy stare. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in this situation, so I’m not sure how to react.”

“Only if you want to, of course, but the offer is on the table.” He said, retracting his hand so as not to pressure you into it. You took a drink from your cup, finding your chest burning as you did so. Difference was, you knew it was not because of the liquor. As you sat the cup back on the table, you looked up at him, inspecting him closely.

He was attractive, and that was undeniable. You had been thinking about it since the minute you saw him, and you couldn’t seem to get the thought out of your head. Just half an hour ago, you were shivering from the closeness of his body when you were standing by the liquor cabinet, and now you were quivering just from the thought of his hands on your body. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but in the moment, what he was saying made sense to you.

He was hot, you were desperate to forget, and he was offering a quick solution.

“Okay.” You nodded. “Why not?” He watched you for another moment, standing still while you decided for certain that’s what you wanted to do. “Uhm, we won’t tell Josh about this, right?” You asked, a sudden wave of nervousness washing over you.

“Definitely not.” He laughed.

“And it’s just that? Just sex?”

“Just sex, just tonight, if that’s what you want.” He assured you.

“Okay.” You nodded again, more confident this time around. “Just sex, just tonight, with a guy I just met, who happens to be my best friend's twin brother?”

“It sounds better my way.” He said, taking a step towards you.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“Sex with someone who is happy to make you feel better.” He spoke quietly, kneeling down so he was eye level with you. His face was closer than it had been all night, and if it were even possible, he was even more stunning up close.

“Yeah, that does sound better.” You agreed, smiling slightly as you tried to keep your breathing steady. Jake seemed to prompt more of a physical reaction in you just by looking at you than your ex did in the entire time you’d been with him.

You weren’t sure if it was the whiskey combining with the heartbreak forcing you to make a deadly decision, or if it was just the fact you were attracted to him. Either way, you knew you couldn’t leave his house without a taste of what he was offering, because he had excited you just by mentioning it. You felt like leaving him without knowing what he could do for you would cause more grief than your breakup had in the last few days.

“So what do you say, sweetheart?” He asked, reaching forward and brushing his knuckle over your burning cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch, but you tried not to let it phase you too much. “You want me to help you forget about him?”

“Think you already have.” You mustered the strength to speak, but not the strength to look him in the eyes. You were sure if you did, you would turn to putty in his hands.

“So you’re saying you don’t need anything else?” He pried, finding the teasing amusing now that he knew you were okay with his actions.

“No, I definitely do.” You corrected him, finally opening your eyes to look over his face. “I really do.”

“Tell me what you need, angel.” He said, flattening his palm against your cheek again. His fingers were tangled in the loose strands of hair hanging over your neck, the action more telling than the last time he touched you. It was firm, more reassuring, and meant to solidify his feelings about the situation.

“You,” you bit the inside of your lip, almost embarrassed about your need for him.

“Don’t be shy, beautiful. Think we’re long past that.” He said, his eyes flickering down to your lips. Although he had full intent to follow through with his earlier promise, he wanted you to be in charge of the matter.

“Kiss me, please.” With that, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours as he held your face in his hand.

His lips still tasted like the alcohol he was sipping on, and his skin was still cold from the ice in his cup. Even so, the chill of his skin was quickly offset by the warmth of his tongue as it glided past your lips. The feeling was addicting, much more intense than you thought it might be. Your hands reached out for him, desperate for more. His fingers seemed to be burning into your skin, the touch electric and the sensation ten times more powerful than anything you had ever felt before. The emotion flowing through you from such a simple action was immeasurable, and you already needed more.

“Like that, sweetheart?” He asked, his lips still ghosting over yours as he presented the question. You were breathless, your head spinning and your mind completely free of the painful thoughts that previously seemed permanently attached to you.

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded, your voice quiet. You could feel him smiling, cocky enough to know his plan was already working. “Please, don’t stop.”

“Come with me.” He said, moving away from you and rising back to his feet. Although you were sad he pulled away at all, you knew it was for a better reason. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and his own cup, waiting for you as you tried to bring yourself back to earth. You took your own from the table, waiting for him to make the next move.

He outstretched his arm, still holding the bottle tightly in his hand as he loosely wrapped the appendage around you. Carefully, he guided you to the hallway. Without any further words shared, he led the way to his bedroom with intent to finish what he started. As soon as you stepped inside, you were surrounded by him. His cologne lingered in the air, and his clothes littered the floor. His bed was messy, but in the most inviting way possible. Patch cords and guitar picks littered the surface of his dresser, and an acoustic guitar took post in the corner of the room.

Although the stipulations of your entanglement did not extend beyond a single night, curiousity got the best of you. With your heart singing a song curated specifically for him, it was hard not to want to know more about him. Seeing his life so intimately made you crave more substance from him, even if it was ridiculous for you to think.

“What’s on your mind now?” He asked, placing the liquor down on his bedside table.

“Nothing bad,” you assured him, still trying to soak in all the room had to offer. “Guess I’m just curious about you now, is all.”

“All you have to do is ask.” He said, taking a few steps towards you. “Later, though, because talking isn’t my top priority right now.” You watched him as he closed in on you, your stomach twisting with excitement at his words. Before he could place his lips on yours again, you swallowed back the last of your drink and placed the empty cup on the top of his dresser, freeing your hands so you only had to focus on him.

You stepped forward, closing the distance between you as your hand landed on his bicep. Now, with the opportune position, he had the luxury to touch you as he pleased with nothing standing in his way. One of his hands fell to your hip, his grip firm as he pulled your body into his own. He leaned down, placing his other hand on the back of your neck as he guided your head towards his. He started slow, fearful he might have come on too strong, but you weren’t willing to take your time with him.

It had been a long time since you had been excited by the prospect of sex, and despite knowing you should not be feeling such a way about anyone, let alone Jake in particular, he had elicited that response from you easier than anyone who came before. Even though his kindness was the most abundant of all his traits, you caught a few glimpses of what lie beneath, and if you were being completely honest, that was what held your attention.

The way his arm felt resting against yours at the liquor cabinet, the sly smile after his ambiguous questions, his heavy stare when he thought you weren’t looking, and the sparkle in his eye when you laughed. That was what drew you in, and everything else was just a cherry on top.

When you first sat with Jake, you almost felt guilty that you were so willing to tell him about your troubles, especially after shutting Josh out. Now, with his lips on yours and his hands exploring your body, it made sense that you felt such a way. Jake was offering much more than Josh could, and he could help in ways that Josh could not begin to imagine. He gave you an easy pass to forgetting, a quick solution to feeling good, and a simple way to move on, even if it were only for a short time. Jake was the perfect fit for what you needed, and you were happy that he was so eager to help.

Time was the only true healer, but Jake was a catalyst to speed the process up, and a very pleasurable one at that.

As the kiss continued, the two of you grew much more comfortable with each other. Your body had relaxed and your hands were more courageous as they travelled over the parts of him you were desperate to know. Your entire body was ablaze with excitement, and your mind was completely free of all the previous fears and feelings you were plagued with. His hand on your hip had drifted to your ass, pulling your hips forward into his as he became familiar with the taste of you on his lips.

If you had any fear about his willingness to sleep with you, it was destroyed within seconds of stepping into his bedroom. You could feel his own excitement, through his actions and other, more obvious signs. As he continued to kiss you, you could feel his erection against your leg, straining against the zipper of his jeans. As much as he wanted to take your mind off of things, you were just as happy to relieve him of the problem you had so easily caused.

When he parted from the kiss, his lips were pink and swollen, glistening with spit under the low light flowing in through his window. His hair was messy from your fingers running through it, and his eyes were darker than they were in the kitchen.

If you thought he was beautiful before, it had nothing on how he looked now.

His hands drifted under the hem of your shirt as he looked over your face, ensuring you were comfortable with continuing. When he was met with pleading eyes and a hopeful expression, his lips quirked up into a smile as he lifted your shirt over your head. As he tossed it to the floor, his gaze traveled downward, allowing himself to admire the parts of you that were usually kept hidden. He sucked in a sharp breath, as if the sight knocked the air from him completely and he was trying to recover from the shock.

“So fucking beautiful, angel.” He hummed, his hands finding you again as he spoke. The feeling of his calloused fingertips against the smooth skin was exhilarating, and even more enticing than anything he’d done before. He dropped his head to the crook of your neck, bringing his lips back to your skin as if he was already missing the feeling of kissing you.

He focused on your neck for a moment, curiously exploring as he tried to find the sweet spots. When his tongue settled below your ear, a whine fell from your lips, so quiet he nearly missed it. The sound reached his ears, sending his skin tingling as it wrapped around his spine and made home there. He kept his attention in the same spot, desperate to hear more. Your hand raised to his arm, holding yourself steady as your stomach swirled with emotion. His mouth continued lower, and courage flooded him as his hands continued to familiarize themselves with you.

He unhooked your bra, brushing the straps from your shoulders as his mouth landed on your collarbone. You felt his teeth graze the skin, the action gentle but purposeful as your bra fell to the ground with your shirt. Now, without anything standing between the two of you, his hand landed on your breast. His thumb drifted over your nipple, moving in a slow circular motion as he felt it harden under his touch. The small sensation only furthered the ache between your legs, and you could feel the wetness begin to soak through the fabric of your underwear.

As he continued his work, you felt your thighs squeeze together in a shameless attempt to ease the discomfort. You didn’t want to rush him, because everything he was doing was phenomenal, but it was growing increasingly difficult to bite your tongue when you so badly needed more from him.

Eventually, his head dropped low enough for his tongue to graze your already sensitive nipple. The warmth of his mouth paired with the precision of his tongue was deadly. You felt a shaky breath rattle your chest as you tried to keep yourself calm, but it was growing increasingly difficult to do so. You needed him more than you needed anything in your entire life; your body craved him in a way you never knew to be possible, and he had promoted more pleasures than anyone before without even needing to take all of your clothes off.

Something about Jake was otherworldly, and his promises to help you forget were not empty. He was doing exactly as he intended, better than you ever thought he could.

He seemed to be enjoying the moment just as much as you were, completely content with pleasing you and never worrying about his own needs. You had never, in your entire life, met someone who was concerned with your needs first.

He pulled his mouth away from you, his eyes fluttering up to your face as he took a few seconds to sort out his thoughts. His eyes were blackened, his pupils completely consuming his irises as he thought about all of the possibilities the night could have.

“Let’s get you out of these,” he muttered, hooking his fingers through the back belt loop on your jeans.

He pulled the fabric away from your skin, letting it snap back to form as he pulled his hand away. The thud of the material against your skin sent another rush of arousal through you, and you found yourself complying to the request without a second thought. He brought one hand to the button, undoing it with ease as he dropped to his knees once again. He pulled down the zipper, tugging on the fabric so they fell down past your hips. As soon as the denim was out of his way, he brought his lips to your stomach, focusing his attention there for a moment before going any further.

You were aching for relief as his tongue drifted over the exposed skin, and you were nearly brought to your knees as he took the time to leave a trail of pink marks where his lips landed. It would be a reminder of the night for days to come, darkening further with time, and you were thrilled at the idea of having a physical memory of his touch when not in his company. He pulled your jeans further down your legs, his lips now ghosting over your hips as he tapped your leg. You lifted one foot from the ground, allowing him to free you from the jeans entirely. You repeated the process with the other leg, and eventually, the jeans were strewn across the floor and gone from your memory completely.

“Jake, I need you.” You huffed, looking down at him, watching carefully where his lips met your skin. He did not respond right away, seemingly wanting to finish what he started before moving on to something new.

Then, his lips pulled away from you, but did not stray too far from their original position. You watched the muscles in his jaw tense as he comprehended the raw emotion behind your words.

“You need me?” He repeated, his voice husky and his eyes heavy as he bargained with the fact.

“Please,” you whispered, breathless as you tried to recover from the constant stimulation he was providing. “So bad, baby.” He drew in a long breath, his eyes fluttering closed as he heard the pet name fall from your lips.

“How could I say no to you when you sound so pretty?” He asked, the question without need of an answer. With that, he used his arm to push you towards the foot of the bed, only stopping when the backs of your knees collided with the mattress.

Then, he rose to his feet, finding himself at eye level with you once again. “What do you want me to do, angel?”

“Anything; just touch me, please.” Your voice was weak, his effect still strong over you even though he wasn’t touching you.

“Anything I want?” He asked, stepping closer and bringing his hand to your side again. He let his fingers trail down until they met the hug of the elastic band of your underwear on your hip. “Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.” You gave a single nod, showcasing your certainty on the matter. He chuckled at your eager nature, looking you over once while he thought of what to do next.

“Lay down for me, sweetheart.” He said, nodding his head towards the bed behind you. “Don’t be shy, get comfortable.” He continued, watching as you turned towards the mattress, unsure if it was possible to climb in and be uncomfortable. The blankets looked soft, and warm, even if they were strewn messily across the surface. The pillows looked like clouds, and there definitely wasn’t a lack of them. More than that, it smelled like him, even from afar. Although you’d only known him for a short time, it had already become a comforting scent for you.

You did as he asked, climbing into the bed and rearranging a few of the pillows. Once you were satisfied, you laid on your back, looking up for him as you awaited further instructions. He gave you a small smile, unable to refute how much he liked the sight of you in his bed, even if it was under strange circumstances.

It was never like Jake to dislike the sight of any girl in his bed, but you seemed to tug on his heart just a little more than others that came before.

“This is a sight I could get used to.” He hummed, adjusting himself in his jeans as he let his eyes trail every bit of exposed skin you had to offer.

“Thought this was a one time thing, Jacob?” He chuckled at your question, unbuttoning the few buttons holding his shirt together. As he slid the fabric from his shoulders, he responded to your inquiries.

“I said if that’s what you want,” he reminded you, dropping the shirt to the floor. Your eyes drifted to his body, drinking in every inch of him. The way the columns of his neck blended perfectly into his collarbones. You studied the structure of his shoulders, focusing intently on his biceps as your eyes trailed down his arms. Then, your gaze moved to his chest, the tan skin decorated with necklaces hanging from his neck. Your admiration ended when your eyes met the buckle of his belt, and you realized he was watching you watch him. “For some reason, I don’t think you’ll be able to stay away.” He sent a wink in your direction to follow his words.

His ego was taking up every spare inch of space in the room, and he was completely different than he was when you were sitting with him in the kitchen. The sweetness still lingered underneath the surface, but his desire had turned him wicked and he was doing everything he could to keep you on his hook. You couldn’t find a single complaint about it, because you loved this version of him even more than the kind hearted man who opened his home and his liquor cabinet to you.

“I think I want another drink,” he started, looking at the bottle decorating his nightstand. His gaze flickered back to you, wanting to ensure you were still watching him. “How about you?” You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach, wishing that he would just go back to touching you. The banter was fun, and you loved talking to him, but you had needs far more pressing than conversing with him. “Don’t look so disappointed, Angel.” He hummed, grabbing the bottle of whiskey. “I promised to make you feel good, and I’m going to…” he trailed off, popping the cork from the bottle as he kneeled on the bed beside you. “But I have to have my fun, too.��

With that, he brought the spout of the bottle to your navel, carefully letting the trickle of cool liquid fall to your skin. A few droplets trickled down the side of you, landing on the mattress below, but he didn’t care. With great gentleness, he reached out and placed the bottle back on the stand. Without breaking your stare, he settled himself between your legs, his head hovering over your belly as he leaned down a little closer.

With his eyes still settled on your face, he let his tongue glide over your stomach just above your panty line. The skin was already dampened from the spill of liquid from the bottle, cold from the air hitting the wet surface. His tongue warmed the skin, but did much more than just that. The gentleness of his touch cause a plethora of emotions to course through you all at once, and you couldn’t seem to keep your mind straight. The disarray only seemed to worsen as he trailed upwards, drinking up the whiskey like he was a professional on the matter.

When the alcohol was consumed, he did not stop his tyrant. Instead, he continued all the way up until his tongue met your breast once again, circling around your nipple before suctioning his lips to you completely. The warmth and wetness of his mouth was otherworldly, and the new position allowed for his hips to meet yours while he continued teasing you. You shifted down on the mattress, not enough to break his focus, but just enough for your aching core to meet with his cock, strained against his jeans. The contact was minuscule, but enough to elicit a sharp intake of breath from him.

He used his free hand to hold your hips in place, grinding himself down on you ever so slight to give you a bit of relief. The friction was good, even if it wasn’t enough. Paired with the feeling of his tongue on your sensitive nipple, it was enough to pry a moan from your lips.

“Jake, please touch me. Need it so bad.” You whined, feeling your hips raise from the mattress despite his hand holding you down. He pulled his mouth away from you, a small popping sound ringing through the air as he lost the suction of his cheeks.

“You want me to touch you, beautiful?” He asked, shimmying to the side so he could do as you asked. He brought one hand between your legs, resting beside you on his knees as he held himself up with his other arm. His fingers ghosted over the thin fabric covering your aching core, noticing the wetness before he even pushed the fabric to the side. “Fuck,” he hissed, looking down at his hand. “All of this for me, angel?”

“Just for you, baby.” You whimpered, feeling his finger drift over your covered clit. Although you wished that the barrier did not exist, you would settle for what you could get.

“And what’s got you so worked up? It can’t be me, I’m just getting started.” He teased, pushing the fabric to the side. Before he continued, he waited for you to respond.

“It’s you, Jake.” You assured him, almost sheepish of the fact. He was right, he was just getting started, and you were far too worked up for just a few minutes of foreplay. You couldn’t help it, though; between his sinful touches and your own lack of sexual pleasure over the previous few years, you were ready to come undone before he even touched you.

“Don’t tell me he was that bad of a guy.” Jake let out a murmur of discontent at the thought. “Couldn’t think about anything other than himself, even with a girl as pretty as you in his bed?” Your cheeks burned red at his words, embarrassed at the thought of him being correct. “You know I won’t do that to you, angel.” He promised, finally letting his fingers get a feel for the wetness pooling between your legs. “From here on out, it’s all about you. I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, nodding in agreement with his idea. To you, it sounded more than good. It sounded fantastic.

With that, he gathered your arousal on his fingers, slowly trailing it up to your clit. He traced slow circles into the already sensitive bundle of nerves, watching your face so he did not miss a single second of your reaction. Your gaze flickered to his face, taking in all of the details while he did the same for you. His brow was furrowed with concentration, and his lips were still slightly swollen from earlier. The muscles in his jaw were tense, and his eyes told you just how happy he was to be pleasing you.

“You know, I was hoping to get you in my bed, even before you sat in that chair.” He confessed, his voice quiet as a sheepish smile crossed his face.

“Y-yeah?” You asked, the word breathy as you felt the pull of pleasure begin to build in the pit of your stomach. You were intrigued by his statement, so much so that it took your mind away from the burning desire for a moment.

“Yeah,” he affirmed, smirking at your obvious curiosity. “Been thinking about it since the first time I saw you at Josh’s house.” He continued, carefully letting himself move closer. He propped himself up on his forearm, moving his body down towards yours. “You walked out, all dolled up in a pretty little dress. Blue, if I remember right. I wasn’t really looking at the dress.”

He was right, and you could remember the scene just as well as him. It was the only blue dress you owned, and you were on your way to lunch with a potential client, which was why you were so eager to get out the door. He was carrying his guitar, in a cutoff t-shirt and jeans that hugged his legs just right. You were both younger, a little more naive and much more childish. You could remember being stunned by his long brown hair, tousled by the wind, and the sunglasses that sat low on the bridge of his nose. He was beautiful then, just the same as he was now, but you were too afraid to introduce yourself. You managed a small greeting as you passed by him, and spent the whole drive to the restaurant with the picture of him stuck in your head.

“Been waiting that long, Jacob?” You asked, finding a bit of strength to tease him back.

“I wouldn’t say waiting,” he chuckled. “But definitely thinking about it. Prettiest girl to ever walk out of his house, and the prettiest girl to ever step foot in mine.” He continued with the flattery, sliding his middle and index finger to your entrance. Before he continued, he slipped his fingers inside of you. As he began to pump his fingers, he let his thumb drift over your clit. The combination of the two sensations was overwhelming in the best possible way. “If I had it my way, I would have fucked you right there on his porch.” The vulgarity of his words may have been off putting in any other context, but as he said it, your walls fluttered around his fingers and another intense wave of arousal washed over you. “And you would have let me, wouldn’t you?”

You were nearly delirious from the pleasure steadily growing in the pit of your stomach. Your skin was ablaze, the sensation growing stronger with every word he spoke and every touch he gave you. You were willing to tell him anything and everything he wanted to hear as long as it meant he wouldn’t stop.

“God, yes. I would have.” You whined, moving your hips down on his hand as his fingers curled upwards, hitting the sweet spot inside of you.

You weren’t lying, either; had you known at that time he could make you feel so good, you would have let him do whatever he wanted to you. At the sound of your tone filled with need for him, he made it a point to curl his fingers upwards again as he pumped them into you. As his fingertips brushed over the sensitive spot he’d found with ease, a moan filled the air, loud and desperate for him to keep going. “Oh, fuck me.” You groaned, gripping at the sheets below you.

“I intend to, sweetheart.” He replied. Although he knew you did not direct the message to him, he felt the need to interject his own thoughts anyway. As the words left his mouth, he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. He couldn’t help himself; he was compelled to kiss you, feeling that he might not be able to survive without the taste of you on his tongue.

His fingers continued to move with intent, eager to pry an orgasm from you. The knot in your belly was tightening further by the second, your skin tingling with pleasure as another moan tore through your chest. He drank in the sound like a man dying of thirst, feeling lucky to be the one experiencing such intimacy with you, even if it was under strange circumstances.

He broke from the kiss as he felt your walls clench around him again, knowing that you were closer to a climax than you would ever admit. He increased the pressure of his thumb, watching you carefully so he did not miss the moment he’d been patiently waiting for.

“That’s it, gorgeous.” He crooned, drunk of the pleasure twisted amongst your features. The praise washed over you like summer rain, settling deep in your stomach and furthering the intensity of the feeling. Your brow was furrowed, your eyes squeezed shut and your lips parted ever so slightly, allowing the most beautiful sounds to cross them. “You’re so fucking hot.” He muttered, propping himself up a bit further for a better view. As much as he wanted to focus on your face, he felt his eyes trail down to his hand, unable to resist the only other sight that could compare to your pretty face.

He sucked his bottom teeth between his lips, biting down on it as he watched his fingers disappear into your cunt.

Your eyes cracked open, desperate to catch a glimpse of him before you descended into the organ that was quickly approaching. When you caught sight of his face, you noticed his eyes were not looking at you like they had been moments before. When you followed his gaze, seeing what he was so fixated on, you felt a whole different type of emotion wash over you. He did not notice your stare, too caught up in the sight to even care about anything else. You were enthralled in him, watching him admire you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

You bit down on your lip, feeling the warmth in your stomach begin to spread to the rest of your body. You were so close, so ready to give in to the temptation of the feeling, but you weren’t ready for the moment to come to an end.

Within a second, that train of thought was completely disregarded, unimportant and needless.

A low groan, resembling more like a growl sounded through the room, coming from deep in his chest. His eyes turned dark, almost animalistic as he was taken by his desire for you. It was a simple thing, so unimportant in comparison to everything else he was doing to you, but it was everything to you. To know you could drive such a beautiful man to such desperate feelings made you weak, and knowing he was just as taken by you as you were with him sent you over the edge.

The orgasm that took hold was stronger than any you had ever had before. Your entire body was immersed in euphoria, from the very tips of your toes to the muscles in your face. Not one part of you was spared from his wicked power, and as your legs trembled, you came to terms with the fact he was right; heartbroken or not, you were hooked on him. Walking away would be ridiculous, and coming back for more was a given. You could not comprehend the idea of never feeling such a way again, and that made it all the harder to equate your solution for heartbreak to a single night.

“That’s it, angel. Doing so good for me.” His words seemed far away, but the sentiment behind them stuck with you indefinitely. He continued pumping his fingers into you, coaxing you through the climax with his hand and his words. You had never felt more important, more cared about than you did with him, like your enjoyment was the only thing in the world that mattered.

He pulled his fingers out of you, his gaze flickering to your face as he raised his hand to his mouth. You watched as he slipped his middle finger past his lips, glistening with your release as it landed on his tongue and his mouth closed around it. As the taste filled his senses, his eyes fluttered closed and a low groan rattled his chest. Your face flushed, your stomach pulling with another bout of pleasure as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. He pulled his finger from his mouth, a slight popping sound filling your ears as the digit slid off his lips. Your eyes squeezed shut, the sight nearly pornographic, and hotter than anything you had ever witnessed before.

“Taste so fucking sweet, baby. Just like I thought you would.” His words were soft, gentle as they filled the air around you. You couldn’t look at him, fearful that if you caught his eye, you would descend into another orgasm without him even touching you at all.

Your knuckles ached as you released your iron grip on the sheets, your body relaxing against the mattress as you came down from the high. Your lungs ached for a full breath of air, and your skin was still tingling with the ghost of pleasure. You looked down at Jake, expecting him to be watching you, waiting for your next move, but he was doing none of those things. He was tossing his belt to the floor, sliding out of his jeans and boxers at once and tossing them in the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You noticed his frantic nature, taking a second to discard your underwear and toss them to the floor as well. He didn’t say a word, making a move to shift downwards on the mattress. He settled between your legs, his hands on your hips as he pulled you down towards his face.

He guided your legs over his shoulders, settling his palms on the tops of your thighs as his lips dusted light kisses over the inside of them. As you both grew more comfortable with the new position, you felt his confidence grow, too. His teeth grazed over the sensitive skin, his tongue following the path to sooth any irritation that might occur. Goosebumps littered your entire body, and every nerve was aflame with desire for the boy who made home between your legs. You watched him, a wondrous sparkle in your eye as you inspected his every move.

Was it normal for someone to be this attentive, to be so concerned with making you feel good? Had you been missing out on such a fantastic experience, wasting your time with someone who was only concerned with himself? Or was Jake just so phenomenal that he made everything a million times more fun?

You did not know, and you did not care; the only important thing to you was him, and he was doing well in making you forget about all of your other worldly troubles. The only thoughts in your mind were pertaining to him and his ability to please you. He was like poison, infiltrating every thought and every emotion, completely taking over without you even thinking twice about it.

His eyes flickered upwards, meeting yours in a silent inquiry. The trail of love bites on your thigh was darkening by the second, and his gaze was burning into you.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” He ordered, but it was hard to comply to his wishes when it felt like his fingers were searing into your skin.

“I-I just… sex has never been like this before.” You breathed, wondering how he knew something was wrong despite you not saying a word. He was effortlessly in tune with you, feeling every emotion coursing through you as if it were his own. “It’s never been so good, and I’ve never been so… taken care of.” You squeaked out the last few words, embarrassed to admit it to him.

“Oh, don’t tell me that, angel.” He muttered, almost pained at the thought. “If I had known he wasn’t taking care of you, I would have done it myself, a long time ago.” The sincerity in his tone made your head spin, and you were almost regretful that you had been so caught up on a man who wasn’t worth your time, when you could have been spending your time indulging in someone like Jake. “You mean to tell me he wasn’t doing this?” He asked, obviously referring to the act he was about to commit. Your cheeks burned red as you shook your head, silently answering him. “What a fucking idiot.” He muttered, clearly to himself.

Instead of continuing the conversation, he pulled your hips down a little further, letting his actions speak louder than his words. He lowered his head, and you held your breath as his mouth connected with your core. His tongue slowly ran through your folds, starting at your entrance and ending at your clit. He let his focus remain there for a moment, circling around the sensitive bundle of nerves as your hands snaked down your body, tangling themselves in the long locks of his hair. Your felt his tongue dip down to your entrance again, flattening against you as he repeated the same process from earlier, savouring every drop of arousal you had to offer him.

As his tongue reached your clit again, he let out a long hum of satisfaction, like the moment had curbed every craving he had for you in an instant. He pulled away from you for a moment, looking up as he listened closely to your shallow breathing. “I could stay between your legs for the rest of my life, and I’d be fucking happy to do it.” He said, his tone gruff as some residual anger remained in his mind. “Now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of me.”

A whimper fell from your lips, completely uncontrollable as you tried to sear the memory of him between your legs into your brain for eternity. He returned his mouth to you, using the sound as encouragement while he continued on with his work.

Jake was a force you were not familiar with, yet you feared you may never fully grasp his power. You met him at the perfect time, and he offered his services when you needed them most. It was supposed to be a quick fix, a simple solution to stop the pain from tearing you in two, but it quickly grew into something much more than that. Now that you had a chance to experience pleasure at his hands, you weren’t ready to give it up.

Calling Jake a rebound would be ridiculous, because he was the furthest thing from it; in just an hour, he gave more to you than your ex did in years.

Like you said earlier, you were mourning the situation more than you were mourning the person or the relationship itself. The picture of betrayal had been seared in your mind, the self-doubt and self-hatred was abundant, and maybe there was a hint of sadness over the loss of routine, but most of your ailments were not caused by the man himself. With Jake’s help, that became incredibly apparent, and the rest of the sadness and anger seemed to fade away the longer his hands were on you.

“A-ah, fuck.” You hissed, your fingers tightening in his hair as an intense wave of pleasure took hold. “Feels so good, Jake.” Instead of pulling away to respond, he hummed against you, the vibration of the sound furthering the sensation he was already giving you. He wanted to hear how good you were feeling, how good he was making you feel. His ego hadn’t gone away, and your compliments only fed it further. You would be uncomfortable with his cockiness if it were not warranted, but from everything he’d done so far, you understood that he was the only man you had been with who had a right to be so self-assured.

His hands inched up your legs, his grip loosening as he moved his fingers. The light tickle sent a shiver down your spine, and your head was spinning as his grasp slowly settled on your hips. His tongue continued to circle around your clit as he pulled you a little further down on his face. A moan filled the air, much more desperate than the last and the vulgarity immediately categorizing it as pornography. You weren’t sure if such a sound ever left your lips before, but you did not have time to focus on the fact before another one followed up the last.

Your cheeks were burning to the touch, your skin blotchy with redness and glistening with sweat. Your hands were anchored in the roots of his hair, and his tongue was driving you so crazy that you couldn’t help the automatic roll of your hips against his tongue. You were bordering the edge once again, and he seemed to have no intent to slow. One of his hands remained on your hip as the other began to explore, dusting over your stomach with great gentleness. It was a staggering difference between the hand on your hip, which was holding you tightly, as if he was scared he would lose you if he let go.

You were lost in the movements of his tongue, no other thoughts existing within your mind as he continued with his precise actions. The warmth of his mouth was heavenly, the wetness of his tongue making every move all the more remarkable. His hand raised to your chest, finally finding what he had been blindly searching for as his palm cupped your breast. You squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall back onto the pillow as you tried to keep your breathing steady. Then, his fingers found your nipple, brushing over it and sending jolts of pleasure through you. The sensation combined with the feeling of his tongue was indescribable, addicting, and intoxicating. You felt drunk off of him alone, and you never wanted to sober up.

Just when you thought you were accustom to the multiple sensations all at once, he moved his hand, taking your nipple between his thumb and his forefinger and giving one hard pinch. You let out a gasp, your hips bucking forward into his mouth even further. You could see the shake of his shoulders, showcasing his silent laughter at your reaction.

Even if you wanted to be upset at him, you had no idea how to be. Being angry with Jake seemed like an oxymoron, two things that could not coexist together. If anything, all you wanted to do was praise him for all he had done to help you.

He retracted his hand from your chest, snaking it back down your body. He brought it underneath your leg, bringing his middle and ring finger to your entrance. He pushed them inside of you, with the same curl to his fingers as earlier. The added stimulation was heavenly, and a sure apology for his earlier action. He barely had to pump his fingers at all before your back was arching off the mattress, desperate and shameless for more.

“Jake, baby.” You warned, the words coming out hastily and jumbled together. “M’gonna cum.” You forced the rest of the sentence out, the fire in your belly blazing and threatening to take hold.

He hummed against you again, encouraging you to give in and let go. With one last curl of his fingers paired with the flick of his tongue, your second orgasm took over. Your legs trembled with the intensity of the feeling, your hands holding his hair as if you were afraid of floating away if you let go. The air was filled with obscenities, curses and praise for his work as you descended into the pleasure. If his mouth wasn’t occupied, you knew the praises and encouragement would be the most beautiful thing you had ever heard. He coaxed you through the moment, and your heart rate began to slow and your muscles started to relax from the tension.

Difference was, this time he didn’t slow.

His tongue continued to trace your clit with more intent than before, as if he wanted to see how far he could take it before you gave in. At first, the feeling was uncomfortable, but the idea of stopping was more troublesome than the sting of overstimulation. Instinctively, your body tried to pull away from him, but he used his hand on your hip to hold you in place. Your hands remained in his hair, but did not try and pull his head away from you. You wanted him, and the orgasm he had just given you was inexplicably addictive. You wanted to feel that way again so bad that you could spare the few moments of discomfort in exchange for something so fantastic.

The noises falling from your lips had upped in intensity, and definitely felt more dramatic. You were loud enough that you feared the neighbours might hear you had they stepped outside. He was living in the moment, driven near insane from the desperation in your voice. You looked down, and despite your blurred vision, did the best you could to admire him while you had him like such. His hair was a mess, still knotted around your fingers. The muscles in his back were tight, flexing with every move of his arms. His knuckles were locked in place around your hip, decorating it so nicely that you dreaded the moment he had to let go.

Although beautiful, those were not the things that held your attention. Instead, you were drawn in by the sight of his hips grinding into the mattress below. Pleasing you had worked him up so badly that he himself was aching for relief, unable to control how badly he needed to be touched. The thought was maddening, and the sight drove you over the edge.

Before the overstimulation even began to wear off, your body was forced into another climax that put the previous ones to shame. Your throat was raw from crying his name, your entire body aching from the violence of the feeling. For a moment, you thought you might die at the hands of his sin, but not even that thought could force you away from him. Your lungs burned and your head swam with thoughts of nothing and everything, all at once.

You had never felt such a way in your entire existence, and even when your body began to recover from the effects of his tongue, your mind had fallen far behind. You were barely holding on to reality as he finally withdrew his fingers from you, and your head was completely elsewhere when his head moved away, too.

“Could listen to you scream my name like that every fucking night.” He growled, pressing his wet lips to your thighs so he did not have to give up contact with you entirely. “God you’re a fucking masterpiece. Can’t believe it took so long for me to have you like this.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond, instead wiping away your release from his chin and moving upwards so he could kiss you. As his hips landed on yours, you felt his cock press against your soaking core, the warmth of bare skin against skin nearly driving you into another orgasm. You were floored at his ability to make you feel good, and amazed that nobody else could make you feel such things. As his tongue glided across yours, you could taste yourself on him, only making the moment even more remarkable. It made him even more addicting, and you were certain you could get used to having him in such a way.

“Just a second, sweetheart.” He slurred, drunk off of you. He pulled away from you, sliding out from between your legs and climbing out of bed. You watched him, breathless and stunned at the picture of him completely naked in front of you. It was the first moment thus far that you had the chance to admire him fully, and you never wanted to stop.

He was painfully hard, the tip of his dick red with irritation from the rough threads of the sheets and glistening with wetness from where he was resting against you. The sight sent you mad, your mouth watering and your need for him growing tenfold. He turned to his bedside table, rummaging around in the drawer in search of a condom. When his fingers landed on the box, stuffed way in the back and hidden under a pile of junk. He looked over at you, smiling shyly as he pulled one from the box.

“Don’t really need these all that often.” He chuckled, an inadvertent way of telling you he was being truthful when he said you were the only one he offered his services to.

“Wait,” you uttered, watching as he raised the package to his mouth to tear it with his teeth. He froze in place, worried that you might have changed your mind.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asked, ready to discard the foil square in his hand and dress himself if you were uncomfortable. “Do you want to stop, or slow down?”

“No!” You shook your head, feeling bad that the thought even crossed his mind. Instead of letting his anxiety get the best of him, you sat up from your laying position. Carefully, ensuring you had your balance, you shifted so you were resting on your knees, facing him. You looked up, giving a small smile as you beckoned him closer. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but he stepped towards you anyway.

Only when you reached out for him did he understand your intentions. He sucked in a sharp breath, watching as you grabbed his hand and guided him closer to the edge of the bed.

“Tonight is supposed to be about you, angel.” He muttered, a weak protest against your actions.

“I want to, Jake.” You assured him, unable to refute your desire to please him, too. “Please?” You looked up at him, doe-eyed with faux innocence written over your features.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, unable to resist the temptation. “I had no idea you were such a whore.” Even if his words were venomous, his tone did not match. He had such a way with words that even his insults sounded like praise. “Go ahead then, if you want it so fuckin’ bad.”

You debated thanking him for his kindness, but you opted to do it with your actions, instead. You leaned toward, bringing your mouth to him. You parted your lips slightly, letting your tongue glide over the head of his cock. The saltiness of the pre-cum staining his skin lingered on your lips as you took him in your mouth. You bobbed your head down slowly, allowing spit to accumulate on your tongue as you let it glide over the underside of his cock.

As you moved your head down on him, your eyes fluttered closed in concentration. His size was something you weren’t used to, but you had enough confidence to follow through with your efforts. When you felt his tip hit the back of your throat, your eyes watered as you fought back a gag. Desperate to impress, you relaxed your throat as you took him all the way. You felt him twitch in your mouth, letting you know that he was enjoying the moment just as much as you hoped. A string of curses fell from his lips, followed by a long groan. The sound only worsened the persistent ache between your legs, but you carried on, knowing that he would take care of that once you took care of him.

He raised his hand to your hair, gathering it in his hand and holding it away from your face. His eyes were permanently fixated on you, terrified of missing even a second of the view in front of him. You sat there for a moment, allowing yourself to grow comfortable with the feeling before forcing yourself to swallow, despite the momentary discomfort. As your throat constricted around him, he took in a sharp breath, overwhelmed by the sensation. Another groan tried to force it’s way from his chest, but he tried to hold it back, resulting in the sound coming out more similar to a whine.

Even if it was unintentional, it drove you fucking crazy.

You pulled back in one swift motion, inhaling a breath of air as his cock fell from your lips. Trails of spit covered your chin, but it did not phase you. Before he could recover from the loss, your mouth was on him again.

“Ah, fuck, sweetheart.” He growled, his grip in your hair tightening. “Full of fucking surprises tonight.” Your eyes flickered upwards, catching his stare as you bobbed your head down on him. You longed to sear the picture in your mind forever. His hair was disheveled, his jaw-hard set and his eyes crazed as he studied your every move. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, and you were certain of that. You felt lucky to be able to please him in any way, and grateful to have caught his eye all those years ago.

As you drew your head upward, you let his cock leave your mouth completely, deciding to give him a show. You circled your tongue around his tip, pursing your lips as you placed them on the side of his dick. You pushed your tongue flat against him, suctioning your cheeks just a bit to add some pressure. As you moved your mouth down his cock, you made sure to keep eye contact with him the whole time. When you reached the base, you slowly ran your tongue over him as you brought your head back to the tip. Without breaking the momentum, you took him back in your mouth and bobbed your head back down until his tip hit the back of your throat again.

You started a steady pace, listening intently to every sound that passed his lips. It wear encouraging, and it was hot. If you had to say, it was the most attractive thing you had ever heard. As you felt him slide down your throat again, you let out a moan. The vibration amplified the already intense feeling, causing his head to fall back on his shoulders as he hissed out a long string of curses. You could feel him throbbing in your mouth, desperate for a release but unwilling to give in to it just yet.

In truth, you would not have minded. He had been beyond generous already, and to do him a kindness was the only way you thought fitting to repay him. Even if you would miss out on fucking him, you were happy to be used by him in any way.

As you continued at the same pace, you could feel him begin to lose himself to the pleasure. As your head came down on him, his hips involuntarily moved too meet with you. The constant pressure in the back of your throat was making it difficult to keep calm, but you persevered until he pulled away first. A particularly sharp thrust of his hips sent you over the edge, and the gag you tried so hard to stop finally forced its way out. Your throat constricted around him again and your eyes welled with tears. Hastily, he pulled away from you, his chest heaving as his concerned eyes looked over your face.

“M’sorry, angel. You okay?” He asked, crouching down so he was eye level with you.

“Yeah, I’m good, it’s okay.” You promised, nodding you head. He raised his hand to your cheek, swiping away tears that had fallen from your eyes.

“We can take a break if you need it,” he assured you, holding your gaze. “Don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m going too fast or if it’s too much.”

“I’m okay, I promise.” You gave him a soft smile, well recovered from the moment of slight tension. He watched you for a moment longer, wanting to be certain. When he realized you weren’t going to change your mind, he leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss. The softness of the action was all you needed to feel better again. “Can you fuck me? Please?” You muttered the words against his lips, unable to wait until he was finished to ask the question.

“You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?” He asked, intrigued by your excitement.

“Yes, please.” You breathed, needing it like you needed air. The desire you had for him was nearly debilitating, and since he’d stopped touching you, there was no relief for the grating need.

“Turn around for me, Angel.” He said, rising to his feet. He was in no position to deny you anything, because he wanted it just as bad.

You did as he asked, noticing he was reaching for the foil wrapper on the nightstand again. You couldn’t comprehend the grief that washed over you as you saw it, and the words rushed out faster than you could stop them.

“I’m on the pill,” you said, hearing him freeze in place. “I’m clean, too.” You were telling the truth, because before him, unprotected sex wasn’t even a thought in your mind. Whatever he had done to you that night seemed to permanently alter your mind, and the simple thought of not having him completely was sickening.

“Me too.” He hummed, almost relieved that you told him. He tossed the condom back on the table, the dull clatter of the impact prompted a smile on your face.

You backed up closer to him, your knees resting near the edge of the mattress and your feet dangling off the edge. He stepped towards you, his hands reaching for your hips as he positioned himself between your legs. His touch drifted over your ass, appreciating you while he had you in such a way.

“You have no fucking idea how good you look like this.” He praised your beauty, his voice deep and laced with desire. One of his hand fell from your hip, and seconds later, you felt his cock rest against your cunt. Slowly, he ran the tip through the wetness that was worsening by the second. “You want it, sweetheart?” The husky tone settled deep in your bones as you dropped to your forearms, bringing your top half lower to the mattress. You pushed your hips back towards him, adding a little more pressure to your clit, which he was resting against.

“So bad, Jake.” You pleaded, looking back over your shoulder at him.

“What was that, Angel?” He asked, sliding himself back down to your entrance. “Couldn’t quite hear you.” There was a smirk on his lips, cute enough to help him get away with the teasing, but irritating enough to bother you.

“Please, baby.” You whined, trying again.

“Please what?” He pressed further, pushing his hips forward ever so slightly. The miniscule change was agonizing, but it still made your head spin. “I want to hear how bad you want me, beautiful.”

“Please fuck me, Jake.” You finished your broken sentence, your tone stronger than it had been all night. “I need to feel you, please.” With that, you pushed your hips back again, testing your limits.

Unlucky for you, at the same time, he thrusted forward with force, causing the impact to be so much more intense.

“A-ah, fuck!” You yelped, the size of him something brand new to you. The way he filled you was enough to bring you to your knees, but the painful sensation of his cock hitting your cervix amplified the pleasure even further.

“There you go, baby.” He crooned, completely disregarding your response as he drew his hips back and slammed back into you with the same energy. “How does that feel?” The slight sneer in his tone was aggravating, but you had to admit that it looked really good on him. The sudden change in attitude made you realize that what had come before that moment was not typical for Jake. He was snarky, arrogant, and he liked to be in charge. You could tell by his fingers bruising your hips and his tone talking down to you.

Although you thoroughly enjoyed the time you already spent with Jake, it almost made you sad when you realized what exactly you missed out on.

As you were stuck on the thought, you felt a sharp sting across your ass. The sensation on your skin combined with the pleasure of him inside of you, making you quiver under the touch. “Answer me when I fucking speak.” He barked, letting his fingers gently caressed the reddening skin where his hand made contact. You weren’t sure if it was purposeful or absentminded, but the sweet touch after the harsh words felt good, reassuring that he was only putting on an act.

Then, you decided if he wanted to push you, you could do the same to him. The worst that could happen was a punishment, and the idea of punishment at Jake’s hands was nothing but thrilling.

“Feels so good, sir.” You exaggerated your tone in hopes of getting under his skin, but the term of endearment seemed to short circuit his brain. His hips stuttered and his hands tightened their grip.

“Such a fucking whore,” he spat, his words quiet as he regained his composure. Even if his words were harsh, you could tell by his voice alone how much he enjoyed your attitude. “I love it.” He muttered the words to himself, but you heard it despite his efforts to keep it to himself. He felt your walls flutter around him, drawing him in further and deeper, encouraging his antics even further.

One of his hands raised to your hair, gathering it in his fist and knotting it around his hand. He tightened his hold, pulling your head back ever so slightly as his hips continued at the same, bruising pace. You arched your back even further, your chest nearly brushing against the mattress now as your ass raised to meet his hips.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed, holding your hips as he upped the strength in which he was thrusting into you. “Take it so fucking good.”

The knot in your belly was tightening further by the second, threatening to snap with every move. You were crying his name, praising him for his hard work as he pushed you closer to a climax. You were sure his bedroom would never recover from the pornographic display the two of you found yourselves in, and the thought served as a comfort. You wanted him to think about you every time his bedroom door closed, remembering how you looked in his bed as he fucked you from behind. You wanted him to picture the way your ass met his hips every time he closed his eyes, and you never wanted him to forget the feeling of you wrapped around him.

Although he intended to solve your problems, you wanted to create a new, constant one for him; one that plagued him every night and haunting him during the day. You wanted Jake to succumb to the need of you, and you wanted your number to be a constant call in his phone, begging you to come over so he could curb the urge for a little while. You wanted to infiltrate every thought that crossed his mind, because you could not stand the idea of him giving this to anyone else.

“You want to cum already?” He asked, recognizing the tremble of your legs and the desperation of your high-pitched moans. “So fucking needy you can’t even enjoy it for a while?” He chastised you, but both of you knew there was zero malice behind his behavior. He was living for the way you moved against him, surviving off the sound of your pleasure. He was thrilled to drive you to such a state so easily, and he would give you whatever you wanted, so long as you asked nicely.

“Please, sir. I want it so bad. I need it.” You stressed the importance of the topic, feeling the burn begin to overtake your entire body. The urge was impossible to stave off, and you knew there was no use in trying. After all he’d done to you so far, you were long past self-control.

“Fine, but you better not hold back. I want to hear every one of those filthy fucking noises.” He growled, pulling your head back with a little bit of force. “Put on a good show, sweetheart, or I might not be so nice next time.” He warned, holding your head in place with one hand and your hip with his other. He pulled you back on him, making the impact even more powerful. The painful pleasure pulsed through your entire body, so intense that you could feel it behind your eyes. With every thrust of his hips, you grew closer to the release you so desperately needed.

In exchange for him giving you what you needed, you gave him exactly what he asked for.

“Oh, god, Jake.” You whined, upping the dramatics for the sake of his request. “You feel so good, baby. Please don’t stop.” You pleaded, feeling your head spin with the threat of your climax. You could hear his shaky breaths, the sound of your words hitting him harder than he anticipated. His hips remained steady, though, never faltering as he continued on exactly as you asked him to.

“Come on, angel.” He huffed, looking down at the curve of your ass, watching himself as he fucked into you. The permissive statement sent you spiralling, pushing you over the edge with little thought.

“Fuck, Jake.” You groaned, feeling your stomach burn with pleasure. Your hands were balled into fists, knuckles white as you gripped the sheets. Your arms and legs felt like they would give out from under you as they trembled. Jake seemed to notice the same thing, and the hand holding your hip slipped under you, holding you up so you did not have to worry about anything other than feeling good.

“That’s it, baby. That’s my girl.” He crooned, never letting up on his pace as he continued to fuck you through the climax. Even as you came down, your body did not relax. Your skin was ablaze and your forehead was glistening with sweat. You were tired, and the feeling of him inside of you became less pleasant and more intense as he continued to thrust into you. Your noises became less angelic and more desperate, as if they served as a warning for him to slow down. Overstimulation was threatening your exhausted mind, driving you closer to insanity by the second as the burn of irritation began to spread.

“Jake,” You wheezed his name out, trying to bargain with him as he increased the speed of his hips. “Jake, please.” You pleaded, now for an entirely different reason.

“What, you wanted it so bad and now you can’t take it?” He growled, his hips still moving at a relentless pace. “You can take it sweetheart, I know you can. Be good for me, baby. Just a little longer.”

“I don’t know if I can.” You cried, your throat raw from the desperation of your moans. Both of you knew he would stop if you really needed it, but he would be damned if he gave up before you truly needed him to.

“You can, beautiful. Being so good for me.” He rushed out, clearly growing close to his own climax. “Don’t you love being a good girl for me?” He asked, easing up on you ever so slightly.

“I do,” you whimpered, feeling his hand in your hair push your head towards the mattress. The strength of his thrusts had lessened, and the overwhelming sensation started to become pleasurable again. “I love it.”

“I know you do, sweetheart.” He whispered, desperation beginning to set in for him, too. He loosened his hold around your hips, knowing you were much steadier, now. He moved his hand between your legs, his middle finger finding your clit with ease. “Just a little while longer, baby. I’m not done with you yet.”

“Oh, fuck.” You groaned, his words giving you the strength to keep going. You clenched around him, amplifying the sensation for both of you as his finger continued to trace around your clit.

“So fucking tight.” He praised, saying it mostly to himself. “Give me one more angel. I know you have it in you.” He was right, the orgasm was already building at a rapid pace. You could feel the tingle of euphoria in the tips of your fingers and toes. You were too strung out on him to answer, but he knew that you would give him what he wanted.

Nobody in their right mind would ever deny Jake anything he asked for, anyway.

“Jake, fuck, m’gonna cum.” You rushed out, the urgency something you had never experienced before in your life. He let out a low chuckle at your state despite feeling the same desperation.

“That’s my girl.” He said again, the statement still hitting as hard as it did the first time he said it. With one last thrust of his hips, you came undone, all of the pleasure from the night coming to one final climax.

Your mind was blank, no thoughts or worries left to bother you. You wanted to scream his name, but nothing was coming out. Your chest ached and your lungs were in dire need of air, but you could not even seem to do something as simple as breathing. Jakes hand pushed your head further into the mattress, your cheek pressed against the soft fabric of the sheets as he started to lose his composure, too. His movements were sloppy, his hips stuttering every time he fucked into you. The finger that was once tracing perfect circles on your clit seemed to forget how to do so, and he had his turn to utter profanities that only solidified the moment in your minds forever.

His grip on your hair loosened as he reached his peak, spilling his release inside you as his hips began to slow. He used his arm to pull you back on him one last time, holding you there while he recovered from the intensity of the moment. He let out a long breath, looking down once more where his hips rested against yours. He drew back, slowly thrusting forward a few more times as he fucked his release back into you. A low growl sounded from his chest, the sight alone nearly working him up all over again.

“You okay, sweetheart?” He asked, his loving and catering tone returning as he withdrew from you completely.

“Yeah, m’okay.” You nodded, feeling the pressure in your skull lessen as he loosened his hold on your hair. “Fantastic, actually.”

“Yeah?” He grinned, excited at the idea. “You feel better?”

“Jake, you have no idea.” You breathed, slowly moving from your position. You were sore, tired, but you felt better than you ever had. “I don’t think I’ve ever… no, I’ve never had sex like that.” You confessed, rolling on to your back to let your body rest for a moment.

“I’m glad I could help, beautiful.” He said, laying down beside you. “Don’t worry about the mess, I’ll clean it up later.” He said, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest, his skin warm and soothing as the sound of his heartbeat thudded in your ears.

“I should probably call a cab, get back to Josh’s place before the bar rush starts.” You sighed, saddened by the thought alone. You wished to stay wrapped up in Jake’s arms for the rest of the night, even if you knew you shouldn’t. You were going through a breakup, and dating was not on the table (or shouldn’t be, at least), but there was something special about Jake, something so different that it made it impossible to want to walk away from him.

“Are you crazy?” He scoffed, his tone light as he looked down at you.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head up as you awaited an answer.

“Like I’d ever make you take a cab.” He rolled his eyes. “But, you’re not going back to Josh’s place, sweetheart.”

“What if I want to?” You shot back.

“Do you?” He asked, seemingly staring into your soul. You bit the inside of your lip, fighting back a smile as you gave a small shake of your head. “Didn’t think so. I’ll just tell him we drank a little too much and you crashed in the spare room.” Your stomach sank at the thought of a spare room, but he could see it in your eyes before you had the chance to address it. “You’re not actually staying in the spare room, gorgeous.”

“Okay, good.” You breathed, chuckling at your own stupidity. “‘Cause I’d much rather stay here, with you.”

“That was never even a question.” He assured you, letting his fingers gently trail over your back. The light tickle was addicting, comforting and soft. It was exactly what you needed after such a high energy evening. “I’m not even close to being done with you yet.” He said the second part, quieter this time, but you could still sense the truth behind his words.

“No?” You giggled, smiling up at his pretty face.

“Mmm,” he hummed to himself, the sound vibrating his chest. He seemed like he was thinking about all of the possibilities the night held, everything he could do with you (or to you, for that matter), and more importantly, what positions he could put you in. “No, definitely not.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” You let out a sigh of content, already dreaming of the same things. A silence fell between you for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. With Jake, it never was. After a while, you felt the urge to speak again, to show your gratitude for his kindness. “Thank you, Jake. For everything.” You whispered. “It really helped.” His lips quirked into a smile as he pulled you closer to him. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I’m glad I could help, sweetheart.” He muttered, his lips still pressed against your hair. “And please, if you ever need help forgetting about anything at all, just give me a call. I’d love to help you out.”

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anthemofgvf · 2 years ago

Text

Endless Summer: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

Part Three

warnings for this series: alcohol and marijuana usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing

word count: 7.5k

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

The next two days consisted of more physical activity than the prior week. One of the only things you all hadn't filled your time with was a hike, so slotting those into your guys' mornings every once in a while would ensure keeping boredom away.

The morning after the second day, your muscles were beyond sore, barely letting you move from your mattress. It was as if you had fully sunken into the sheets, enveloped in the silk cloth and held hostage willingly by your exhausted body. Your eyes flickered open only for a moment, until realizing that sleep was the only thing that kept you from the aching sensation that ran throughout your legs.

Once you flipped over to the best of your ability, you tapped your phone screen and read the time: 8:30 AM. You exhaled deeply while the back of your hand rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and figured a soak would do your body justice.

And your assumption of just that proved itself to be true once you worked up the strength to maneuver yourself to the bathroom and strip from your clothes. If you had to push yourself through one more day of hiking, you had to soothe your muscles to the best of your ability. Although a slight wince escaped your lips as your toes dipped into the icy hot water, you just continued to clench your jaw and fully submerge yourself in the tub and felt relaxation wash over your whole being.

Whether or not a cold bath would've been more fitting for the current state of your body, that wasn't on your mind. The heat that steamed off the water and created a spa-like aroma was soothing enough, so you just lolled your head back and let your eyes rest shut.

But relaxation can only last for so long, especially if you're trying to achieve it in a house full of boys. Whistling rang throughout the upstairs, along with small steps to accompany the melodic blowing. You were unsure of who was awake, but Sam usually woke up before his brothers, so you ditched another ten minutes of soaking and slipped on the first things you could find in your suitcase.

Your head poked out of your bedroom with your hand finding its way to undo the lazy up-do you had worn to keep your hair from getting wet. But looking down the hallway, left and right, no one had made their appearance known. Sam's bedroom door was shut, and there was no sight of the twins.

Stepping out of your room, you quietly made your way down the stairs and the whistling ran through your ears again. It was coming from outside, and your curiosity led you to open the back door and follow it without thought.

To your surprise, Josh had his hands pressed flat behind him on the ground, propping his body weight onto them and swaying his head from side to side as he continued the melody. The warm wind hugged your body but sang through yours and his hair, and you watched from afar as the curls he spent hours perfecting just defying the position they were supposed to stay in. Your calves did argue with your body to hold you up but propping yourself on the side of the lake house seemed to be beneficiary to the calls from your tense legs.

Josh's whistling faltered, and his head turned over his shoulder. With squinted eyes, his face lit into a content smile, and he returned to overlooking the mountains that contained the lake you all enjoyed.

"Thought I heard someone." He kept his focus in front of him as he spoke. "Surprised to see you up so early."

"Me? I'm surprised to see that you're the first one awake." You repositioned yourself on the exterior of the house, with your back pressed onto it instead of your shoulder and upper arm. "Figured it was Sam out here."

"Are you disappointed?" He let his words sink into sticky air before turning his head to find your expression, and through squinted eyes, he saw you roll your eyes and huff a laugh. Your reaction only let his infectious grin fully display itself and turn back to the scenery. "Glad to know you don't have favorites, y/n."

"Don't tell your brother." You joined Josh on the grass with your legs extended in front of you and resting on your elbows. The temperature of the grass alone allowed you to adjust to the heat that was quickly rising with the sun, but not at its full high.

With the same scrunched expression, you shielded your eyes with your hand and looked to Josh, who had mastered a relaxed face despite being almost directly blinded by the sun. "You excited for another day of hiking?"

Josh tilted his head down, which casted a shadow over your eyes and reduced your scrunched face into a normal state. "My legs tell me no, but I know the view will be worth the pain." His curls slightly shook with the movement of his head as he spoke - always animated. "What about you?"

"My legs are killing me, to be honest. Might stay here while you guys go."

"And do what? Nothing?"

"Possibly. Or go down to the lake on my own. Haven't figured it out yet." You gave him a shrug, removing your eyes from his and looking out into the mountains.

"Well, I'd like it if you went with us." His eyes lingered on you, which was a nonverbal cue for you to look back up to him. "Just think about it, alright? And, if you don't want to go, I don't mind staying back with you to keep you company - if you'll have me."

You gave him a singular nod, mouthing, "okay" before you looked off into the distance and tilted your chin down enough to examine the trees that lined the waters in the small canyon of mountains.

You and Josh basked in the silence, interrupted once or twice by the whistling wind or the birds singing their infamous tune, but it didn't bother either of you. There was something comforting about the silence held between you and Josh; feeling as if there is no need to speak because each other's company was just enough. But although the world was quiet, your mind wasn't.

You remembered that Sam would be awake soon, and you didn't want his morning to be started off with a view of you outside with Josh. Whether he relaxed his feelings about your friendship with Josh, or just learned not to show them as much, you knew it bothered him, nonetheless. So, you left Josh quietly and made your way up to Sammy's bedroom, clinging onto the railing to drag your legs up each step that seemed to be more painful than the one before.

You left a few soft knocks on the door, and with no response, you cracked the door slightly to see your best friend still sound asleep laying on his stomach.

Hushed snores rumbled against his pillows as you tiptoed around the bed and crawl into the other side. Even your movements didn't stir his sleep, which didn't surprise you, so you pressed your palm onto his bare back and spoke his name.

After you shook his body a few times, he sharply inhaled, pushing his body up and whipping his head towards you. When his eyes allowed him to make out the figure in front of him, he was satisfied to see it was you.

"I was sleeping, y'know?" He relaxed his head back onto the pillow and turned away from you.

"Shh, you've woken me up plenty of times. I get a turn, right?"

Sam hummed, rotating his body and letting his eyes flutter shut again. "What time is it?"

"9:30. Not too bad of a time to start your day." Your hands ran through his knotted hair and brushed the stray pieces back behind his ear.

"Guess it's nice of you to have woken me up." He leaned his head into your touch. "Anyone else awake?"

You had to make a quick decision of whether or not to tell Sam that you had just gotten back from hanging out with Josh, or to just say you were just leaving your bedroom for the day. But, without knowing if Josh would say something about this morning, you figured telling Sam the truth was the best decision.

"Yeah, uh, Josh is. Heard him outside when I was taking a bath. So, I joined him for a bit after I got changed and talked with him." Your face slightly squinted as if you were trying to reflect any puncture, but to your surprise, Sam just nodded.

"He's awake?"

"I know! I was surprised to see him, too." You continued to toy with his hair. "Think he's still out there."

"Well, then that means neither of you have eaten yet." He said with a grunt, pushing himself off the mattress and hopping out of the bed. If you and him hadn't been friends for so long, seeing him in his briefs would cause a lot of discomfort on your end. "Do you have any preferences on breakfast?" He slipped into a loose pair of joggers.

"Preferably not limited to vegan." You shrugged.

Sam rested his hands on his hips, tapping at the bones with his pointer fingers. "Well, I guess I'll need some help then if I'm making a grand meal, huh?"

"Sam, I'm not a cook. Can't you recruit your brother?" You said in reference to Jake, who you had known to love cooking since he was little.

Although Sam sighed in defiance, he rolled his head towards the door and his body followed, leaving you to follow him downstairs and into the kitchen.

Jake was already awake, sitting on the couch and absent-mindedly scrolling through his phone when Sam discussed the plan of the first meal of the day with him. He just nodded, waiting for Sam to fully leave the room before he stood up, passing you by with a light smile and tousling the hair on top of your head. While you flattened your hair out, Josh had entered the room quietly, and joined his brothers.

Josh barely helped with the meal, just handing them things they asked for or mixing whatever concoction Jake had whipped up. You just rested your chin on the back of the couch as you watched them all work together, noticing how their work dynamic never really changed from when they were kids. You figured their arguing would lessen, or their teamwork would improve, but they still had hints of their old ways. It was special to see them act as if time never passed, and they were still the same normal guys that you grew up with in Frankenmuth.

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Over breakfast, Jake had mentioned staying another week or two at the lake house, admitting he's missed the second home more than he's realized and doesn't want to let the feeling of serenity go just yet. They all agreed with hums, mouths stuffed full of food, and their eyes landed on you. You were the only one who didn't follow their course of plans, so your decision mattered. Jake had said there was no pressure staying, but you insisted that you were enjoying yourself and the time spent with them, to which they all smiled gratefully to you that you chose to stay longer. However, you did mention that after today, you wouldn't want to take another hike, and Jake hummed in agreement.

After breakfast, you helped the three of them clean up the multitude of dishes they compiled while making the grand meal. You stook to the sink and washed the dishes thoroughly, then handing them to Josh, who dried them. Although there was a dishwasher that could make the job easier, there was something sentimental about making the one-man job into a two or three-man job. Sam only stuck around for so long when helping put away the dishes, until he ran off to take a shower. Jake, who helped you wash the plates and bowls for a few, chose to clean the pans instead and then leaving to get ready for the day himself.

Then there was just you and Josh... again. You swore you promised yourself you wouldn't stick yourself in situations as such that would leave you and Josh alone. Sam seemed to have gotten his feelings about your friendship with his brother under control, and that didn't help. Sam was like a barrier that did annoy you at some points with his aggravation of the platonic relationship between Josh and you, but it helped to keep your feelings sunk into the back of your mind and hopefully forgotten about.

Sure, it didn't help either that Josh came into your bedroom nightly to spend time with you but talking helped keep your thoughts at bay. It's not like you minded hanging around Josh, since he exuded the closest feeling to euphoria you could get. But it was easier to be upset about Sam getting in the way than for him to fully step away and let yours and Josh's relationship take its course.

You didn't let the guilt override your positive mind, and just took a few glances at Josh every now and then when he was putting a dish away or drying them off. His focused face was quite adorable, and not a part of you felt ashamed for thinking that. You chose for at least today to let yourself think or say whatever you want to in your mind about him, since it was the only place that was trustworthy enough to hold such a secret.

His eyes flicked at you once, or at least to your knowledge, and quickly shot his eyes down to the white mug he was drying.

"Were you ever taught that staring was rude?" He teased you with a smile, earning him a bump into his shoulder from your elbow.

"Were you ever taught about sunscreen? Your cheeks are red."

Josh just simply shook his head with a grin that only raised at the right corner of his mouth, taking a few steps to open the wooden cabinets to place the cup into its original spot and returning to your side.

"They always get burnt, no matter how much sunscreen I put on. It's annoying, y'know? Have to walk around looking like a fucking tomato." His hands flew to motion to his face, returning back onto the counter and waiting for you to hand him the next dish. "With that being said, have you decided whether or not you'll be joining us today?"

You placed the small plate into Josh's hands, fiddling with the next bowl and running it under the hot sink water as you thought about the proposition. "Haven't really thought about it to be honest. I'll probably go for the sake of not having to explain myself."

"Well, today's trail is the shortest one. And it overlooks this beautiful forest. You'll enjoy it, I promise." His hand patted your back. "And, if your legs go numb, I'm sure one of us can carry you back down."

"I think one of you will need to carry me the whole way." You giggled, to which Josh returned a light chuckle.

Leaving Josh in the kitchen, you got yourself ready for the day and mentally prepared yourself for the hike. Although you enjoyed the activities and spending time with the boys, your legs were telling you that you should stay in and ditch them. But something interesting always comes out of the day when you're with them, so sucking it up was your best option.

Dressing yourself in a light tank top and a pair of denim shorts, you threw on your tennis shoes and stumbled your way down the stairs, gripping onto the railing with each step you took.

Two bottles of water were laid on the island, to which you chose to grab your own and assumed the boys had claimed those two as their own.

"All ready?" Sam popped into the kitchen, joining you at the fridge.

"Yeah, you?" You closed the fridge door, setting your water bottle on the counter and crossing your arms once you rested your back against it.

"Yeah. Think they're still getting ready, but I've been waiting about 10 minutes." His eyes flicked down at his watch. "Can't wait to do nothing tomorrow."

"Couldn't agree more. Maybe me and you can go out and do something. Just us."

His lips curled into a smile, nodding in agreement at your words. "I'd like that. What would we do?"

"Depends. There's not much to do here, but whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be fun." You took your water bottle off the counter, bouncing it between your hands. "You don't think they'd be upset if we didn't invite them?"

"I'm sure they'll want to go do something on their own, so I doubt they'll feel left out." He opened the fridge, grabbing his own water and shutting the door swiftly. "We haven't had much time alone together. We've got some time to make up for it."

"It's hard when you're constantly on the road and I'm stuck here." You brought your inner cheek into your teeth as your lips turned into a frown. You didn't want him to feel guilty for traveling, or the fact that you and him rarely spent time together. It wasn't his fault that he had a career that called for constant travel. "Just wish you had more time home, that's all."

He rested against the counter across from you, folding his arms as he spoke. "As much as I like touring, I wish I got to stay here more. You don't realize how much you miss home until you come back. I mean, yeah, I get homesick, but it's worth it when I get to come home."

"You've got to have a favorite place you've been to, right? I mean, if I got to travel as much as you, I would be revisiting the places I liked the most."

"We try to hit the best spots that we come across on tour." Josh said from across the room, strutting into the kitchen and joining the conversation. "My personal favorite was probably France. Lovely language; French."

"Eavesdropping in on our conversation?" Sam pushed himself off the counter with a grin splattered on his face.

"Don't talk in a public room if you don't want me joining." Josh mimicked Sam's smile and gestured at his brother with his pointer finger.

Sam just gave him a weak shrug before leaving you two, saying he was checking on Jake after he gave you a pat on your shoulder.

Josh joined you at your side. "What's the best place you've been to, travel-wise?"

"I haven't been out of the country before, so I'd probably say California, which is a basic answer," you admitted, turning your head to him, "but Paris sounds nice. Oh, or London."

"Been to both." Josh gave you a cocky smirk, wiggling his head and straightening his posture. You pushed his shoulder and watched him laugh with a toothy expression. "Maybe I'll take you someday."

You shook your head with a puzzled expression. "Just you and me?"

"I meant when you come on tour with us, if you ever do, that is." His eyes averted to the cabinets in front of him before returning back to your eyes. "Or if you'd prefer an exclusive excursion with just me, I think I'd make the perfect tour guide."

You tilted your head back with a giggle. "I think you'd get us lost."

"Well, I think your expectations of me are too low. You're going to have to fix that if you want to travel with us one day." He positioned his body facing you, resting his hand on the counter beside him.

"You've got some time to prove yourself. Still time to change my mind, Josh." The corners of your lips fell into a downturned smile. And, with the muscles in your face moving so much into that joyful expression, you realized how much your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It didn't help that the blood quickly rose to your cheeks and flushed them to a bubblegum pink.

"I'll take that challenge gratefully." He gave you a singular nod with a comical smile and wink before grabbing his water bottle and walking off to Jake's room.

You watched him leave and found Jake and Sam meeting him halfway, sharing a few words before they all announced that they were ready to go.

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True to Josh's words, the trail was quite short, so your muscles decided not to give out on you just yet. And, even better, the view was beautiful. The slightly cool breeze whistled through your hair and the leaves of the trees that rested below the hill you four stopped at.

Josh took the liberty to snap a few photos of everyone, a few of himself, and plenty of the view that stood before you four. You couldn't help but watch his eyes light up at the view, seeing him discuss with his brothers how nothing beats the atmosphere of home. His joy for life and everything that surrounded him was contagious, and you couldn't help but feel warm and comfort from the energy that radiated off of him. His wide smile that reached his eyes and created wrinkles at the sides, his animated movements when he spoke or how he deeply examined everything that stood below him and that rested above him. How he felt no shame in just sitting near the edge of the cliff, seemingly trying to meditate, but he was just taking everything in and trying to be one with the environment.

You considered joining him, but you chose not to when Sam pulled you into a conversation with Jake. Josh was just in his own world, appreciating life even if the activity of the day was a small one. You'd say it from time and time that you admired his outlook on life, and aspired to think the way he did. Appreciate things the way he did. See things the way he did. Loved things the way he did. He was always an inspiration to you in the way you should live your life everyday as if it were your last, and just live in the moment.

And that's all you thought about during the hike. You tried to respond to his brothers when they asked you a question, or the conversation grew quiet and you decided to add something or give them your input, but your mind was somewhere else. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing that you loved the way Josh loved the world, but it was a bad thing that you loved the way Josh loved. You had gotten yourself back to square one, and digging yourself out of that hole was going to take longer than you pictured. Because, no matter what he did, he always knew the right things to say or do. It's like he could read your mind, or just knew you more than you knew yourself. And that's another thing you loved about Josh.

And loving those things about Josh was one thing, but loving him, was another.

You four decided after an hour or so that it was best to head back for lunch, so you all made your way down the trail and headed back towards the lake house. While Jake offered to make lunch and started before anyone had any input, you decided on a quick shower to wash off the sweat that accumulated on your body from the hike. Stepping into the cool water felt nice on your sunburnt shoulders, so you let the water run off your back for a few moments as you faced the wall in front of you.

Once you were satisfied with scrubbing your body and your head of hair long enough, you stepped out of the shower and wrapped your towel around your bare body as you ran your brush through your wet hair.

A few knocks tapped at your door, and you peaked your head through the bathroom door.

"Who is it?" You questioned with your ears tuned to any sounds that came from behind the door. When waiting for a response and receiving none, you made your way to the door and opened it.

Josh stood at your door, eyes immediately shooting to your white towel before looking at you with his lips curled into a quizzical grin.

"Lunch outfit?"

"Ha, ha, very funny," you rolled your eyes, "just got out of the shower."

"Didn't quite get that from the towel. Thanks for clarifying, though." He shot you a wink. "Food's ready by the way."

"Thanks. I'll be down in a second." You nodded with a quick flash of a smile, then shutting the door on Josh and let your towel fall to the ground.

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After you all ate lunch and the rest of the day consisted of simple relaxation around the house, Jake came into your room and said that you all were going to watch the sun set around the fire. It had been a few days since you all sat around the firepit, so you gratefully walked with him outside of the cabin and noticed that Josh and Sam were already in their chairs with beers accompanied in their hands.

Sam stood from his chair and embraced you before letting you sit down, handing you a beer after you sat crisscross in the seat.

The routine was the same as it always was: Jake playing a few songs, Sam talking to you about whatever it is he had to say, and then you all splitting off into the cabin after the sun fully rested under the waters and the moon casted its glimmering light. You didn't mind the continuous formula that you all grew accustomed to doing, mainly because you enjoyed relaxation more than constantly being on your toes doing something. Especially since you were surrounded by the three of them, it made the activity that could be taken as boring into something interesting.

And you could say you enjoyed the ritual more because you knew Josh would be joining you for a bit afterwards. It didn't matter that you two talked about nonsensical topics, it was just his presence that made everything feel better. Even if you both smelled of smoke and amber and it would've been best to wash it off, you both didn't care. You had come to enjoy the familiar scent.

He entered your room without knocking, figuring you were decent and just waiting for him to arrive, and he shut the door behind him and locking it.

He hopped onto your bed with a huff, looking at you with a soft smile and eyes that told you that he was thinking of something.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Josh?"

"I have an idea of something we could do instead of staying in here, even though I don't mind it."

You huffed out a laugh, looking away for a moment. "And what's that?"

"You can say no, by the way. No hard feelings," he crossed his hands over each other, "we take my Jeep and go down to the beach." He shrugged with a confident smile, proud of his plan.

"And do what?"

"What we always do: talk. We could swim, too. What else do you do at a beach?" He pretended to insult you with his question but couldn't keep a straight face, so he reserved to a sly smirk.

"Well, I don't know. I never know when it comes to you," you shook your head, "did you want to go now?"

"We can. Or we can sit in here for a bit if that's what you prefer."

You nodded with a hum, glancing at the mirror and then reverting your eyes back to his. "I've always got to choose, huh?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you like me to be a bit more assertive?" He cocked his head, his curls following his motions.

You rubbed your lips together. "Would be more helpful. You're always letting people decide things for you. Gotta put yourself and your needs before others."

Maybe you should take your own advice.

"I'm a people pleaser, what can I say? I enjoy doing things others want to do. We don't have to go the-."

"Josh, I want to go." You cut him off with a laugh. "Let's just head out now, alright?"

He gave you a singular nod and a smile, helping himself out of the bed and walking over to the door, waiting for you.

As you joined his side, he reached for the lock, but quickly halted his movements when the doorknob shook. His eyes widened, looking over to you, and seeing you were wearing the same shocked face.

"Y/n? You awake?"

You both mouthed "shit", turning your bodies frantically to figure out what move would be the best to make next. It's not like you could just open up the door with Josh at your side. Although Sam seemed to have his annoyance with you and Josh's friendship at bay, the door being locked wouldn't help with how his mind works. Anyone could assume the worst in that situation.

"Y-yeah, I am. One second!" You stammered as your eyes flashed from the door to Josh. You could hear your heartbeat ringing in your ears, body flaming intensely as your fingertips began to shake.

"What do we do?" Josh mouthed to you, even though his voice was almost audible.

"I-I don't know." You whispered back, scanning your room and finding a solution. "The bathroom, go."

You pointed over to the door, and he looked at you with a puzzled expression.

"Wait, why can't he know I'm in here?" His voice raised into a whisper, and your heart rattled in your chest.

"Because my door is locked and you know how he feels about us hanging out, especially alone. Bathroom, go." You nodded over there, waiting for him to walk with quiet steps and shutting the door behind himself, taking a few moments to slow your breathing before opening the door with a smile.

"Why was your door locked? You never lock it." Sam pointed at your doorknob with furrowed brows.

"I was, uh, changing. And, knowing you, you never knock. Didn't want to risk it." You dragged the words out slowly, nodding and tapping at the doorframe.

"But you're wearing...never mind. I don't think I want to know," he chuckled, "just wanted to see if you wanted to go do something."

"Right now?" You turned your head to the window in your room. "What did you want to go do?"

"Dunno. I'm not tired just yet. Maybe go take a walk, or something." He gave you a shrug.

And here you were again having to choose between your best friend and Josh. You and Josh had made prior agreements to going out, but knowing that Sam wasn't tired, he was probably going to notice you were leaving. Your brain banged in your head as you tried to come up with a quick decision. Either way, you were going to feel guilty.

But you made a promise to yourself that Josh wouldn't get in the way of you and Sam's friendship. And Josh was also just your friend, so why would it matter?

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to finish changing. I'll be a second or two, alright?" You nodded quickly, shutting the door before Sam had the chance to speak.

You rested your back on the door, sprawling your hands onto the wood and exhaling deeply. Composing yourself quickly, you walked over to the bathroom and opened the door.

"Alright, he's gone." You nodded.

"You think we should wait it out, or?"

Your head fell to your feet as your stomach twisted with guilt. You had never seen Josh disappointed, and you didn't plan on seeing it. Not now, at least.

"I'm, uh, I'm actually going out with him for a bit."

"Oh," he pressed his lips together, "okay then. We'll just go on our little trip tomorrow."

"I'm really, really sorry, Josh. I feel terrible. I know you wanted to go and-."

"Why are you apologizing? I get it, it's okay." He gave you a reassuring smile and placed his hands on the sides of your arms. "Just gives me something to look forward to."

"Are you sure? Because I can just tell Sam I'm too tired or make up some lame excuse to get out of it."

"No, no. Go, I insist." He jerked your body forward, then back, and ran his hands up your arms before letting them fall to his sides.

Josh began to laugh, running his hands over his mouth to try and suppress the laughter.

"What's so funny?" You felt a smile creep onto your lips.

"Just thinking about if Sam saw me in here with you how ballistic he'd react. Think he'd kill me?" His laughter grew, and you tried shushing him, but he couldn't stop laughing.

So, your body reacted quickly, clapping your hand over his mouth and giving him a stern glare. His hand grasped onto your wrist in a swift reaction to your own actions. You peaked outside of the bathroom, then met his surprised eyes.

"It's not like we were doing anything, but you know how he is. Now, stop laughing before I kill you. I don't know how thin these walls are, but if he's out there, there's a good chance he can hear you." You whispered to him, slowly removing your hand from his face.

He was in a state of recollecting himself, but once finished, he let a smirk rest on his lips and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. "There are better ways to silence me than that, y/n."

"Well, you weren't keeping quiet, Josh. Now, shut up and wait a few to leave my room." You pointed at him with a stern face, then leaving him in the bathroom. You turned to him again. "And, shut the door. I'm changing."

He put his hands up in defense, closing the door and wiggling his fingers at you in a quiet goodbye.

You stripped off your clothing quickly, throwing on a pair of grey shorts and the first tank top you could find. You left your room after grabbing your phone, grateful that Sam wasn't waiting outside of you room for you, but in fact downstairs on the blue couch.

Sam's pupils shot up at you with a smile finding the corners of his eyes. He stood up and placed his hand on your back to guide you out through the back door.

As you two walked down the familiar trail that led to the lake below the lake house, silence echoed throughout the air. It had been a while since you two had genuinely spent time together without anyone's presence, and talking just wasn't on your mind. You just wanted to soak up the friendship you've held with Sam in the quiet atmosphere, although it was filled with an owl or two calling in the air and trees whispering in the wind.

You couldn't remember the last time you were with Sam in an area as such. You two sat near the lake, near enough to hear the waves trickle in a dance along the rocks at the shoreline. All you could do was just breathe in the same air as him and let your head fall back, eyes shut and giving yourself to the environment.

Your phone vibrated on the ground, and you unwrapped your arms from around your legs pressed against your chest to turn your device over.

Don't forget about our little secret trip to the beach tomorrow night. Goodnight, y/n. Hope Sam is keeping you good company.

You read the text from Josh with a smile, rereading it over twice before turning your phone off and looking over to Sam.

"Who was that?"

"Oh, just my mom saying goodnight." You nodded with your tongue pressed into your cheek. He pressed his lips together and looked off into the water, returning to his silent state. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just...thinking, that's all." A deep exhale fell from his lips. His eyes lifted to the sky, admiring the night sky lit up by glistening stars.

You pressed your cheek into your knee. "Penny for your thoughts?"

He pulled his eyebrows together, bringing his hand from behind him to massage the bridge of his nose. "Dunno. Just missed this, y'know? I don't get to see you as much, and it sucks. I don't like getting all sappy with you, but I've just been thinking about how much fun I've been having with you and all that." He gave you a weak shrug and glanced over to see your reaction had fallen softly into an admirable one, and kept his eyes held into yours.

"Yeah, it's so weird of you to share your feelings." Your eyes widened for a moment with a light giggle. "No, really, I've missed this too. It's not the same when you're gone. Get a little bored sometimes."

He gave you a single nod. "We used to hang out every night. Remember that?"

"How could I forget? Sam, you were pretty much there for everything. Think we hung out until our parents told us to get home, and until we got older, we just slept over at one of each other's houses and drove to school together." You reminisced in the memories that flooded into your brain.

"Can't believe you never got sick of me. I mean, you get pretty annoying sometimes, but-."

"Do not!" You swatted his shoulder. He huffed a laugh, shaking his head and looking back up to the sky.

The silence filled the air once again, and you two just enjoyed the comfort of that noise in itself. The sound of nothing was comforting, and although it wasn't eventful, you didn't mind it.

It was something that you had in common with Josh. But, letting Josh run through your mind was not something you were going to let happen, at least, not tonight. This moment was about you and your best friend, not his brother.

"Thanks for coming on this trip with us. I don't think I thanked you before, so." He gestured with his hand, then reserving it back behind himself.

"Thanks for inviting me. I was a bit nervous that I was going to be a bit bored. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you guys, but, I don't know. Was kind of worried you guys changed after a year."

"A year is a long time, but we're still the same," he shrugged, "maybe Josh is a bit more loud."

You laughed at his comment, letting your mind wander only just for a moment to Josh, although you promised yourself you wouldn't think of him. But this was an acceptable time, so you allowed your thoughts to take over for a moment.

"He's a bit more talkative this time round. I mean, we've always been good friends, but he's actually making an effort to talk to me more. It's nice."

All Sam did was nod and kept his eyes locked into the sky. Reading him normally came easy to you, but you couldn't quite pick out how he felt about your words. He had seemed to cool down after a few weeks and become comfortable with you and Josh's friendship, but you knew deep down it still bothered him.

You were hesitant to speak. You tried to come up with a new topic, something that didn't involve his brother.

"Do you think you'll be back for my graduation?"

Sam's eyes shot down to you with a confused expression. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Dunno. Maybe you'd be on tour in late May, or something." You pressed your chin in between your knees and let your gaze relax into the lake.

"No, we'll be back. Don't worry, I'm not going to miss your graduation."

He brought you into his arms, letting you relax into his body. You hummed with delight and rested your head into his chest.

"You know I would hate you forever if you missed my graduation?" You said, causing his chest to rise with a laugh.

"Shut up. You can't hate me. I'm going to be around for the rest of your life."

"Sounds miserable." Another laugh rose in his chest.

"As much as I hate to admit it," he spoke with sarcasm laced on his tongue, "I care about you a lot. Gotta be here for you when I can, and as much as I can. Making up the time we lost when I was gone."

"This trip definitely helped. It's nice that we all decided to stay a few more weeks. But we're going to have to find new stuff to do."

"Unfortunately, there's not much to do in this town. But we always come up with random shit to do to pass time. Comes in handy after being on the road with the same people for months on end." His hand ran delicately along your spine.

"Yeah. Maybe we can take a drive somewhere? Go to Chicago or something." You lifted your head up.

"That's not a bad idea, although Chicago is a bit far. Detroit might be a better shot." He gave you an assertive nod with a grin, and you let your head rest into his chest.

His heartbeat drummed into your ear, comforting and warm on the side of your head as you laid in his arms. You and Sam never found being this close to each other to be uncomfortable or weird. It was just a normality in your guys' friendship. And you never disapproved of the action itself. It was something you often missed when he was gone. Although he was difficult with showing his emotions, you were someone that could always bring everything out of him. And that made you feel a bit golden, to be honest.

"I'm just glad we stay in touch when you're gone." You mentioned to him, exhaling the vulnerability that your words held. Truthful words that sunk into your friend's heart and tugged at the strings. Ones that made his heart race just enough for you to feel the change of the beat of his heart.

"Me too. Don't want to lose you, you know that?"

You lifted your head up again and gave him a singular nod to show him you understood. "You won't, I promise. Just, don't do anything stupid."

"Same goes for you, y/n." He tousled the hair that rested on top of your scalp.

And you knew what he meant when he told you that. You knew who he was referring to when he said that. The journey of burying your feelings for Josh was a treacherous one, but you hadn't finished it just yet. Your mind would make you believe that in some circumstance you could get Sam on board with idea and be okay with it. Maybe, just maybe, you could convince him.

But you knew there was no way to do that. Even if you were someone that Sam couldn't stay mad at, someone that could convince Sam of anything, that was the one thing he'd never be in agreement with you on. And you hated to admit it, but your feelings for Josh grew on this trip.

You were just good at masking them more.

"Mind heading back? Getting a bit tired." You unraveled yourself from Sam's arms.

"Yeah, sure." He said and pushed himself off the ground before lending his hands to you and helping you up from the rocks.

On the walk back, he began a small talk about the stars, something he was always fond of. He told you about things he learned about the galaxy that lit up the sky since he's been gone, things he's seen and picked up on his travels. It was one of the only things you never understood about him - his fascination with the stars, that is. But admiration for the world ran in the family, and he chose the night over the day as his pleasurable hobby. It was an escape from his daily life as a musician.

He even mentioned to you that in some places you can barely see them, which you knew, but you didn't let him know that. You liked seeing his eyes light up talking about this kind of thing, and seeing himself feeling accomplished when telling you something you didn't know or chose not to tell him that you did know.

Sam followed you up the stairs into the lake house, pulling you into a tight embrace before saying goodnight to you and leaving you to enter his own room.

The night had turned to be a memorable one, despite your wishes to have gone to the beach with Josh. You realized that your friendship with Sam was irreplaceable. It couldn't be found in anyone else. It couldn't be created with anyone else. So, with that in mind, it was going to be a bit easier easing your feelings of Josh out of your head and heart and returning your thoughts of him to purely platonic.

You still had the beach trip with him, but that could be a possible test for how you could control your thoughts and just letting things be the way they are. And that reminder was enough to help you sleep that night, mind cleared of any thought that dared to enter.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

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-part four-

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