#and the adult character goes “thats not how kids talk” but we dont even know how old this kid is

[thepandalion]

when the fic mentions linguistics and is just... two steps off from being correct?

[theguardianace]

Can I politely ask you to elaborate on the Aroace Nene fic you talked about some time ago? Or just simply how you see her in your brain after finding out she's aroace? If it's not much to ask, of course

OMG YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely. i will ramble about aroace literally anybody on the drop of a dime this is one of the best anons to get actually

nene's story is actually the one i have the least about, to be perfectly honest. i have a plot for both emu and tsukasa's stories, but haven't quite figured out one for nene. honestly, i think nene's the type of aroace to not really... care about it that much. she'd never cared about love or romance to begin with, so when she realized it was because she was aroace, it was mostly like "hm. cool. im gonna go play animal crossing now".

as for finding out... i think it would have happened in middle school, back when she was Online Gamer Nene TM full time. with how much she loves games and storytelling, it really only makes sense she'd want to engage with fandom content like fics. however, just... seeing the way people sexualize her favorite characters, or only write/draw shipping content... she didn't care for it. she didn't want to engage with that. not that there was anything wrong with it! people can do whatever they want with fictional game characters. she just. didnt care about it herself. which led to her feeling even more isolated even within her favorite hobbies. i think this would sort of lead her to playing a variety of games so she doesn't have to worry about getting absorbed in fandoms she doesn't care to be a part of. she still checks, every once in a while. for games that she really likes. i think its through this that she eventually stumbles across a popular aroace headcannon, goes "what", googles it, and is like "wow. thats me. sick". and then moves on

but like. even when she's moved on. it's still really nice to know, yknow? it explains why she felt like the odd one out not wanting to ship stuff, or even care to entertain it. there's people out there just like her. it makes her less anxious, a little more sure of herself.

she doesn't ever tell anyone. not even rui. (i mean, they hadn't talked in ages. how is she supposed to? "hi, we havent had a genuine conversation in years, how are you? by the way i discovered im aroace and you probably don't know what that means and honestly i dont really care about it myself. have a good day".) (and once they do start talking again, it just... never came up. she never felt the need to, and he never felt the need to ask.) until my epilouge chapter where they all end up coming out like WHAT WERE ALL AROACE THATS SO SILLY anyways

in casual life, i think nene would have been the type for adults to go "oooh, you have a crush on him, don't you? look at you, all red and shy just thinking about him" when shes simply Just Like That. it was really annoying. she knew she didn't like them like that and that was that. but shes too scared to say that so she just took it. definitely didn't help the "nene needs to learn how to make friends" department. honestly, her only relief from it was with rui- both her parents and the kamishiro parents recognized that the two really did care about each other, but it wasn't like that. also no way in hell they're ruining the one friendship their kids have.

later with emu, i don't think there was any point where people even considered a romance, at least not at first glance. it wasn't like people at school even knew about emu (minus when she snuck in, but why would this hyperactive pink thing be looking for that shy second year?). and people walking the streets didn't really assume they liked each other like that since they were two girls. nene's mom was a little curious if they were dating since emu comes over so often and is so physically affectionate, but she never really pressed. she was mostly just happy nene has friends over that aren't just rui. (also, emu's aroace too, so nothing in her demeanor even made nene consider it could have been romantic. shes just Emu.)

for tsukasa, it's a similar thing. by the time people have realized the two are friends, nene's confident in herself and her feelings enough to shut down the people who would even dare assume she likes a buffoon like that star in that way. there's those people that go "oh but you're mean to him and girls are mean to boys when they have a crush on them" but she's tough enough to go "ew" and move on. (she did complain about it a little to rui on a walk home once. if he ended up in her classroom the next day to "grab her for lunch" and weaponize his dangerous reputation to intimidate them when she wasn't looking, it was sheer coincidence.)

also, i think out of the four, nene falls most on the loveless scale. tsukasa, emu, and rui are all beings made of love despite the fact they don't fall in it. nene's a bit different. she cares about her friends, and she's super good at making them (despite what she thinks), but she doesn't really... love them. not in the ways people usually want to describe love. she would kill a man for them in a heartbeat, don't get me wrong. she just experiences those sorts of feelings differently. it's care, and determination, and hope, and happiness, but not... love. not completely.

anyways aroace gamer nene so real fic will happen once i figure out how to tie these ideas to a plot 👍

[swiftfootedachilles]

pls can you talk more about age regression mickey? i need it😭😭😭😭

anon i promised myself i would never talk about this subject on tumblr yet here we are

ok i have to preface this by saying a couple things for clarifications

i DO NOT fuck with sexualizing age regression or ageplay!!!!

that being said, somebody can age regress sometimes and still be a grown adult with dick and balls who has sex! but they are entirely separate from one another!

i dont really, like.... fully understand age regression, i guess? i dont understand the difference between age regression, age play, and just enjoying kid stuff(age dreaming?). like is it a specific headspace? is it a form of dissociation? how do you know if you're regressing or just pretending, or are those the same thing? my ignorance may show in my headcanons so sorry

my headcanons for mickey are based on my own experiences. so although i don't know anything about what i just listed above, i do know that personally i really like a lot of kid stuff and it definitely is because of my childhood trauma and my (assumed) autism. and obviously mickey has a lot of childhood trauma, and hes autistic imo. so that's really the only scope of reference i have for this 😭

autistic people are not inherently childish or lack certain skills just because they consume a lot of child media. anybody who enjoys kid stuff or age regresses is automatically doing that 24/7 and unable to exist in adult spaces. and even if they are like that, that's nobody's business but theirs. but obviously mickey doesn't do this 24/7, and i don't think he would enjoy doing it all the time anyway. autistic people like children's media because its usually created to have an easily understandable premise, visually stimulating, have very concise pacing, understandable character motivations, and conflicts are resolved efficiently. it's something straightforward to watch, read, or play when the world doesn't make any sense and overwhelms us

i do not view age regression/ageplay/age dreaming in this context as mickey having did/a little alter. most of the content ive seen about agereg seems to view it as a form of dissociation, and while it can be that, i think writers are doing this accidentally because they don't really understand how dissociation works. and again, this is just based on my experience and understanding, and i don't dissociate at all when i consume children's media. i just enjoy it that's really only how deep it goes i just like it lol

ive mentioned both of these many many times before but mickey has fidget toys and plushies. he especially uses chewelry/teethers, bike chain fidgets, mechanical fidgets, tangles, spinner rings, weighted blankets and plushies, and jellycat/squishables/aurora/douglas/plushie dreadful. he also has a color changing lamp with multiple brightness settings that he likes to sit by/stare at

he likes to draw and color. he doesn't read because he struggles with it and it's not relaxing at all to read. he eats "boring" tasting food for the texture, like freeze dried yogurt and puffed rice. ian has to watch him and redirect him when he eats otherwise he'll just keep eating and eating just to chew on something. he likes chewing gum but it hurts his jaw if he does it too much.

he rewatches a lot of shows from his childhood. ghostwriter, zoboomafoo, magic school bus, bill nye. he also saw a lot of older shows and movies because they were recorded on vhs tapes in their house, or they were reruns on their free-to-run tv. electric company, zoom, little audrey, romper room, felix the cat, speed racer, space ghost. he really likes to watch old westerns and gangster movies. it really just depends on how "small" hes feeling. he also likes bluey, avatar the last airbender, and a lot of the classic cartoon network shows. hes watched a lot of peppa pig but thats only because franny is obsessed and watches it every day. he shows freddie speed racer because he has a racecar/hotwheels obsession

when hes regressed, ian will not do couple-y thing with him. he won't kiss his mouth, talk about adult topics with him, touch him inappropriately, none of it. he doesnt want his role as a romantic and sexual partner to be equated to his role as caregiver

mickey doesnt need help using the bathroom or bathing beyond being reminded when to do it. he usually becomes nonverbal though. communicating doesn't really happen beyond a few words when he has to respond to ian. he also stims a lot more and generally is unmasked in this state. ian doesn't want to disturb him, but he also wants to use the chance to get mickey to do some new things while he's relaxed. he gets mickey to help him prepare dinner, pick out colors for house decor, takes him in public with his headphones (mickey usually hates wearing them in public because he thinks he looks stupid + he can't hear much around him). ian would take him more places like the zoo and museums, but it's usually too crowded and he knows it would sour the experience for mickey

mickey is overall much more.... soft and pliant in this state. he can definitely have a meltdown, but he's usually pretty chill as long as he's at home and doesn't have any errands to worry about

[tavcro]

one of my irls was talking abt the same homestuck stuff youve been lately and Oh my god i had no idea her name was That bad. it is no fucking wonder you call her ruby instead. from a watsonian perspective Why the fuck would you name a child that. from a doylist perspective Why would you name a character that

i know. i know. i know. i know. its so bad. its so fucking bad. i call her ruby because it was a codename for her when she was first designed- so, in a way, it is a Form of name for her, which i guess is.... smarter than not giving her an alternate name at all? but still.

sorry for writing so much i didnt mean to, this shits just kinda rattling around in my head a lot (im almost certain you meant these questions rhetorically but also. here i go answering.)

from a watsonian perspective, i. i will be honest. i get it. i Get it. homestuck has always been about fetishes and kinks and unhealthy relations with sexuality and how those things develop in people at young ages. this is something people like to act like the epilogues invented but its so baked into the existence of homestuck that you could not have homestuck without discussion of those topics. and with that, comes exploration of those characters as adults and their extremely unhealthy sexual habits that came with the abuses they went through as children in the original comic. jade and roses being hightlighted heavily here. if you dont know (idk how much you know about homestuck) jade is an extremely isolated child who was forced to grow up in solitary and considering she was raised by a version of jake english, i doubt her parental figure was the best rolemodel. shes canonically neurodivergent and has epilepsy, shes canonically trans in some ways (best not to get into that but shes the first ever cis-transfem because she fused with her dog.) and these were all things that caused her to become extremely focused on furry culture and all things related to internet furry culture. rose on the other hand is very directly meant to be a victim of grooming at Doc Scratches hands which goes almost completely untouched through out the series. with these two types of complexes being paired with them not being able to ground themselves in the new world after the game due to untreated trauma and dissociation, they treat ruby like she is a big game of chicken, essentially acting as if ruby is one big deviantart oc. a big game of "wouldnt it be funny if?" and this is meant to be bad! rubys name is criticized over and over and over and ruby herself has HUGE signs of csa trauma in her narrative even in the little bits we see. its meant to show how even some of the more well rounded characters (jade and rose) have allowed themselves to become completely monsterous due to unexamined trauma and unrealized issues connecting to their childhoods and the game itself, and how thats allowed them to play god with their child in the same way they were played god with in the original series.

THAT SAID. I HATE IT. I HATE IT A LOT, I HATE READING IT, i hate feeling semi-complicit in it, and further more, i really dont like the idea that people are reacting to this as if its not inherently traumatizing for ruby the character to be named that. which, i know is a bit ridiculous for me to be like "think of the characters feelings!!" but the thing is inappropriate sex shit like this aimed at young kids and teenagers IS A FORM OF CSA, and is meant to be taken as such within the confines of the story! but somehow that feels like it is lost amongst everything, and it ties back to my criticisms of there never being enough bite or negative consiquences to these things. though, hipefully, this will improve in the future updates.

from a doylist perspective, i think its just kind of. weird writing. i dont know! i want to say its bad but i can't tell if its BAD BAD or if its just that it makes me uncomfortable, deeply- and i mean, thats the point! but god does it make it hard to engage with her character at all! i feel like there has to be better ways to do something like this too, but i dont know. the fact that its happening at all has left me in shock and i dont know how to improve it. its just bad all around. and i guess its like, if they really commit to it being what im interpreting it as and meant to show how awful jade/rose have become and will be changed as ruby begins to define herself in her new session, maybe ill have a new perspective on it!! but for now im just like man. man. that REALLY sucks. it really, really sucks.

[shreddeddescent]

weird barely thought out rambling about my process here sorry if it sounds like a lot

so i guess i should say there was totally an idea of a plan in place for like. okay they’ll all get one on one time then i can get em all talking and explaining plot something and get stuff rolling.

but then it was like jennika reached through the screen and grabbed me and said NO. help mikey right now this isnt just flavour text you have to commit. and i said yep no you’re so right actually thats way more important.

and then i guess that happened it made me kinda look back over everything and everyone and decide WELL. maybe this is what the story really is, just a lot of overly emotional vulnerable conversations where everybody feels fucked up but they just kinda talk it through with each other, as good or bad as they are at it. maybe thats more important.

i guess the things i wrote just trying to flesh out the rest of it ended up being the story kinda thing. the aftermath of all these other things turned out to be more interesting than trying to get into some "real" plot.

like to be fucking real thats whats been so interesting to me. the 'worst case scenario' ended ages ago, intended to just be that part as a 'get it out of your system' personal thing of writing the most fucked up thing i could. but then it kept going with the effects of it still hang over the characters.

shredders dead yet somehow its like hes still the main antagonist because all the conflict stems from him. defeating him didnt end the story.

i guess i could say over and over that if i had thought it all through it would come off better. dont know if i would have implemented things like raph's comatose state or random forced pheromone bullshit, nor the speed up on the pregnancy period. feel like i would have put april and casey into the story better without dropping them the way i have. i could have written better set up, better payoff. but its not about being planned, its all a weird game of improv im playing with myself that has the unintended consequences of being too fascinating to stop. too fascinating to keep to myself.

and thats been what it is, the gross messy dramatic sappy corny healing process. its absolutely gonna be over 200k words by the end, which is. you know. NUTS. ive not posted my writing before all this nonsense so hhhhrgh you know.

but....... maybeeee its kinda a lot? like too corny too dark too messy too weirdly written? but i just feel like.... meh. its my personal soap opera, i get to decide how long that shit goes on for. whether it seems like im beating a dead horse or not, its my dead horse to beat.

and things like that last chapter are like... AH. would everyone have rathered i sit them all down and make them tell you whats going on? too bad, leos had an anxiety attack so we dont get that right now cuz he genuinely cant take it. the completely unintentional letting the characters fucking experience complicated emotions even if they are gonna get in the way of what my plan might have been IS the story.

in a sense i am the adult turtles telling those kids 'no its okay, take a second to feel that out, we can wait'

its such an interesting way of expressing something, not really sure what else i could say.

but im having fun. i guess thats the point.

if my insanity helps anybody else, well, thats a bonus.

[crossover-enthusiast]

CROSSOVER CROSSOVER CROSSOVER

okay so you know the post about the poster in susie's room?

me and my friend were excitedly talking about it and i was talking to them how others thought it was streber, and my vote was skid or pump

BUT i then realized, that the character there has long hair. i didnt even pay attention to this until i looked more closely

now, theres a few characters with long hair, and in my opinion, this is curly or wavy hair. i dont think this is Lila.

(to clarify, the only reason i thought it was skid or pump, was due to their connection with the cult.)

in another reblog, someone said that the text says "Vessel" so if we also take that into consideration, someone is possibly being possessed by Eyes or some other member of the cult.

anyways, i looked through different characters that have long hair that goes past the shoulders.

my two options were the Actress and John's daughter.

now, i dont have any reason to say the actress besides the hair. also, from what i see, the character has a more childlike appearance, and not that of an adult.

but with john's daughter, we have a bit of evidence supporting that.

johns daughter was kidnapped by the cult somewhere between sm3 and sm4. she is also a child, which makes her vulnerable to the cult.

again with the hair, johns daughter has poofy wavy hair, though, her hair is brown, not black. so, thats one thing. but then again, im pretty sure its just the art style. or, the cult dyed it to keep her hidden.

the outfit i have nothing to say about.

though, using a literal child (she looks about.. 11-13?) as a host would be a bit strange. children are small and fragile, unless Eyes possesses johns daughter to make her easily manipulate others without a second glance.

but thats really all i gotta say lol

yeagagh

Ohhhh shit!!

I hadn't even noticed that the kid in the poster had long hair, good find!

Hmmm John's daughter would be the most likely in this case, tho the poofy hair also makes me think of Robert's little sister. We haven't seen her yet, but considering how her siblings look the hair would also match up

This is REALLY interesting

[blue-eyed-moon-child]

Wiege thoughts

Here goes nothing ig? uhh its just a lot of rambling and stuff that i've already put into the "alnst spoilers" in my server

ANYGAYS

first off - i understand to a certain level why they kill hyuna but....gurl....you didn't have to do her so dirty like that

But i do hope that this gives way to Luka going apeshit with Mizi and taking control over the rebellion and finally realizing he can stop being a show pony

Call my Corpse Husband because i do be "shocked and in awe in what was in front of me"

The fact that the song is a lullaby and it's showing them as kids and how their childhood is not only dead but they are now as well....

But lets talk about Luka for a second- Bin had said "Wiege was literally the song of a baby being cradled while the memories of the person he loved passed by his mind in her last moments" which Bin hates me for that

But Luka very much has been "created" to be perfect - at least to the eyes of the aliens and by proxy everyone else

Luka literally had clones that he killed and I mean....if I was put under THAT much pressure to be perfect at such a young age, I would have gone psychopathic a very long time ago ADULTS crack under that pressure and I cannot imagine what it would be like as a child

He even tried to end the cycle.....killing all those clones of him....??????? how is that not a "i dont want to do this anymore" where he crashes out and kills them???

Luka was constantly seen as manipulative, ruthless, exploitive, etc ALTHOUGH when he is on stage, he would usually present himself as almost ethereal - like he is perfect in every way and that gives him more favor from the audience

If we look at some of the backstory scenes, Luka is sick. Luka wants friends. Luka has a hard time understanding emotion. Its just a fact that he isn't perfect but this isn't a fake it 'til you make it kind of deal, it's a fake it until everyone is deal kind of deal but i know Luka only really realized it when wiege happened and he saw Hyuna up on that stage - when he truly starts showing his emotions instead of being that etheral kind of "angel"

He saw her and was SO UNAFRAID of literally everything going on in that moment (i.e a fucking gun pointed at him) but the sheer amount of humanity that we saw in him and the fact that he finally opened up and then the reason for that got taken away IMMEDIATELY AFTER???

Death never really seemed to have an affect on Luka before this? Like it just didn't seem to faze him in any way but i dont know if it's the same as the "kissing" where it just wasn't really a concept since the aliens never taught them what it meant or if he just didn't seem to care either way

UNTIL HYUNA DIED

HE IMMEDIATELY WAS LIKE "OH SHIT THIS IS REAL AND THIS CANT BE REVERSED" But do you think that he also finally realized that he was also the one responsible for killing some of the others??? the gulit being the reason we are shown the alternate AU of what could have been if this show never happened? of all the happiness that they could have had but since he could be feeling guilt over the other's deaths too (or the fact that he mocked them too) and thats why we see not only Luka and Hyuna's alternate AU but also Ivan's, Till's, Mizi's, and Sua's????

this fucker istg

say goodbye to my sanity

say goodbye to all my favorite characters

say goodbye to all of what could have been (vivinos i will never forgive you for giving me the "Everything went right" AU flashes and then giving the jumpscare of the real world

I think the lullaby was extremely fitting since this is Luka's goodbye to literally fucking everything

I will be crawling back into the hole of my other hyperfixations until I'm prepared to watch wiege again and analyze things more without being in shambles

@lee1504 my shaylaaaaaaa

wiege

thoughts

Crying session in the woods 8PM don't be late

[yuukei-yikes]

hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

[sweetescapeartist]

What are you thoughts on GT Goku, GT Vegeta, GT Bulma, GT Krillin, GT Gohan and GT Chi-Chi?

GT Goku: Its dumb that he was wished into a becoming a child for most of the series. And what's dumber imo is that he even behaves like a child for most of it because the writers wanted to recapture Goku as a kid again. His personality as SSJ4 is cool & I think thats why ppl like SSJ4 so much. Its a huge physical and mental contrast to what we see GT Goku as most of the time. And that contrast makes people like it because it makes Goku an adult again who takes things more seriously but also is a bit careless as he shows off his strength. Ya know, like Goku was in DBZ. Its a return to what we wanted. (But those are just my thoughts.)

GT Vegeta: From what I can remember, I actually like him a lot. He feels like he progressed after the End of Z when he was more laid back. But I didn't like how much of a background character he was at first, then they rehashed Majin Vegeta with Baby Vegeta (rehashed Saiyan Saga Oozaru Vegeta a bit too). Then I think he just gets beat up by Hellfighter 17 after that. He wasn't really useful until the end and even then there wasn't much. I dont think the writers knew what to do with him since he was a calmer Vegeta. Also, how he gets SSJ4 doesn't bother me. He needed to be exposed to certain rays of light or energy, so Bulma created a means to expose him to that. The part I disliked was that he turned Golden Oozaru then pretended to be out of control & attack Goku. Why? Why play around at this point? And since he has always had control over his Oozaru form, why was he a Golden Oozaru for any amount of time longer than less than 10 seconds? He should've turned SSJ4 almost immediately. Another thing I didn't like was him crying about losing another home (this may be a English dub only thing). It makes sense for Vegeta to be upset about Earth being destroyed, but he didn't care for his home planet at all nor did he care about his own race. He wouldn't miss Planet Vegeta. And if he did care about that stuff, why didn't he talk to the growling Nappa that came back to life? He just kills him again. I don't think the writers knew what they wanted to do with him and kinda made a mess. A small mess, but still a mess. They didn't know if they wanted Vegeta to be stoic, caring, unfeeling, ect.

GT Bulma: I honestly don't recall much about her. She was okay from what I remember. Seems like she was relegated to a background character like others were. Being a background character works for some due to their personality, but it doesn't work for all. Like Tien. He works as a background character but he is more interesting as a foreground character. Same goes for Piccolo because both are stoic. But Bulma? She is Miss Personality. Not to mention she is a genius and could be involved in all of the adventures of GT. But they divided Bulma's characteristics into Pan, Trunks, Bra, & Marron then put Bulma in the background.

GT Krillin: Was used as a background character for most of GT, so his death wasn't impactful to me despite me being a Krillin fan. Plus the way his family treated him was terrible and out of character. They just killed Krillin for "nostalgia" reasons & it was sloppily done. His deaths mattered so much before in DB & DBZ because he was in the story and active and built relationships with other characters. GT didnt do any of that so his death felt cheap & forced. It was essentially turning Krillin into a random background character that is being shown for 2 minutes in about 5 episodes. The anime staff at that time weren't very good at character portrayal nor knew how to involve characters.

GT Gohan: He was okay but was also placed in the position of background character but not as much as Krillin was. He could have been used much more. Like him going with Goku on space adventures as they said he was going to do, and Gohan doing a little something against the Shadow Dragons (specifically Omega Shenron) would have been nice. Also, his relationship with Piccolo was kinda non existent unless you remember their friendship from DBZ. That could've been shown more during the Baby Saga.

GT Chi-Chi: I honestly don't remember much of her. But if my memory is right, she was shown more than Krillin. I remember she thought SSJ4 Goku was handsome. I think its more so because Goku was in an adult form again. Idk... Not much I have to say about her.

The problem with GT imo was that if you weren't named Goku or you weren't a Saiyan, then you got pushed to the background. The problem with Super imo was that if you weren't named Goku or Vegeta, you got pushed to the background but not as much as GT did to non-Saiyans.

One reason DBZ is still better than GT & DBS is that other characters did things. They were involved in the story in some sort of way. This is why I dislike GT & the DBS manga so much (DBS anime handles non-Saiyan characters better). GT & the DBS manga really push everyone to the side besides the Saiyans, but more specifically if they aren't Goku & Vegeta. Not to mention how OOC they make certain characters. But in the DBS manga's case, most characters are OOC (even Goku & Vegeta at many points).

[youranxiousnerd]

The Field Trip Thoughts

Because there is a lot of them

Spoilers for HSMTMS Below

First off, Gina and Ej are adorable. I don’t ship Portwell romantically but I adore their friendship

I’m sorry Ej is the president of the AV club?!?!?! He’s been a part of the club for, what, like two weeks? Go big or go home I guess

I love Nini’s outfit

RICKY USE YOUR EYES!!!

i see that a common theme this season is Ricky not being able to see what is right in front of him. 

I know Ricky is going through stuff. I’m a firm supporter of the Ricky needs therapy campaign. 

Gp better be Ej’s contact name for Gina or I will riot

“Are you announcing the fall musical, I vote Dear Evan Hansen.” 

two evans and possibly a third #joeserafiniforevan

YA KOURT IS STILL ON COSTUME CREW WE STAN AN ACTOR/TECHIE

“SPEECH SPEECH”

i love dara’s laugh

“Can you not keep your phone on silent in rehearsal like everyone else?” “’Sorry, everyone’, is what Carlos would say if he were more like me.”

I smell tension. They seem kind of tense this episode. I don’t know where it came from, there wasn’t really any build up bc thats how seblos rolls. Like they were completely fine last episode. Maybe Seb is just fed up or something happened off screen?

im just happy we’re getting seblos content lmao

“Terrible line” 

“Oh my god is your phone hungry i don’t understand.”

In the “previously on HSMTMTS” segment in episode 5, Carlos mentioned he was slightly scared to be on stage. he seems so effing stressed and irritated this episode more than usual. Carlos for the love of god talk to your boyfriend and eat a snickers.

I think the North High stuff has gone to his head. 

GAHH SEB’S COSTUME

okay carlos honey i love you but how can do you know north high stole your beast mask because a bit of fur is sticking out of a trunk. they have fur too. 

guys look around the room first it could have fallen but nOoOo you assume they committed a felony right off the back.

“Let it go” the kids of east high did not in fact let it go.

I AM DIANE AND I LOVE NORTH HIGH

yes, bring the loudest kids in the school to go steal something, thats an excellent idea.

and bring the kid who cant lie for sh!t im talking about you seb

RICHARD BOWEN YOU DO NOT SCREAM YOUR SCHOOL NAME IN THE ENEMY SCHOOL WTF

Carlos looks so done with everyone I feel you man, i feel you

north high looks more like pottery barn than an actual high school. Seriously, who or what is funding this place?

Miss Jenn: tells the kids to let it go and not go steal the mask. 

Also Miss Jenn: goes to north high

GET AWAY FROM GINA YOU MFER

ej is wearing the gayest shirt in history how does that north high boy believe they’re dating

nice save, ej. 

the faking dating was one of the best scenes of the episode. 

AWWW EJ 

im so happy gina is finally getting the attention she deserves. like i said earlier, i dont ship portwell but gina needs friends and ashlyn and ej are some pretty good friends. they have her back and that’s what i think gina needs.

LILY IS EVIL BUT SHE LOOKS GOOD DOING IT

kourtney darling lower your voice youre on a heist not shopping for shoes

nini you have done nothing for this heist why are you here? 

for the record, i don’t hate nini, but shes probably one of my least favorite characters. i liked her in episode 6 and season 1 tho.

the main kids all share one braincell they didn’t check the box where they originally thought the mask was.

“I want one”

Wow, you guys got caught. Between the Wildcats, loud voices, and large crew I would have never guessed.

SEB’S FACE WHEN NORTH FINDS THEM IM DYING.

The aggressiveness of Antoine’s french is killing me. 

zacky roy what are you doing?

LILY AND THE FLASHLIGHT

carlos getting fired up

“fugly” dramatic gasp

“Oh yeah, what if we bop to the top” I HAVE WAITED 17 EPISODES FOR MEAN/AGGRESSIVE/ANGRY SEB IT WAS WORTH IT

GO OFFF SEBBY

carlos’ “honey calm tf down” face

“honey no” “honey yes”

East High is confused by a dance off (so am i) but then preform a musical number to save their teacher from getting fired complete with original a original song and dance 

“That’s weird even for me”

LILY DONT YOU EFFING DARE INSULT ASHLYN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

“She’s better than this” Next scene is Miss. Jenn dancing with the enemy

Around you is my least favorite song of the season. That being said, the singing is good

RICKY LOOK THE OTHER WAY

“Tom Holland on stilts” 

“That man is ridiculous and you should dump him and date me” ANTOINE THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY BUT ITS SO FUNNY

i love antoine

dj antoine in the house!

“I knew you all didn’t like the Mob Song”

“What kind of budget” THANK YOU KOURTNEY

nini straight up said “see ya”

how is no one questioning why someone is in costume? didn’t lily say no costumes?

also how is howie beast playing guitar with those gloves?

YAY KOURTNEY

ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN EVERYONE

seb really said “go get em babe”

CARLOS POP OFF

i love how frankie was singing in his lower range or it was just autotune

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU YASSSSS

nice save, antoine. do i ship? idk, but it was cute.

mob song was good. the solos were pretty good as well as the dancing but the background track...not my style. it was enjoyable tho.

SALTY BIG RED

“No, Nini’s Rose Song.”

im so glad they addressed why the rose song cant be used. its a really good song and olivia sings it perfectly but it doesn’t make sense for the plot and you cant alter text.

“Ej you had one job”

nini really likes leaving

Zack you are an adult it is high school theater not the World Series

“it’s just a song, ricky” I think you kinda, ya know wasn’t “just a song”. Out of the Old wasn’t “just a song”. All I want wasn’t “just a song”. How is Rose Song any different?

gina and ej goofing off is awesome

seb and carlos being the theater dads watching over their children

ope- howie turn your phone off

carlos and seb really said “bye, have fun” THEY BOLTED

ummm...yeah

you can see how much howie regretted in that moment

“I’m Nina” ooo interesting is she going to go by Nina now?

Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The stakes are high and I’m glad the other relationships are getting screen time. The balance was good this week, I wish it was like this every week. My only issue is how underdeveloped the plot was this episode, but beside that it was pretty good.

[6ftkyle]

@cheesy-poofs @impandgnomes well if you guys insist 👼

today in particular im hung up on the fact that stan's really such a multi-faceted character and most depictions of him are really flat. they usually pick one or two of his traits (or traits that dont really apply to him, but rather feed a ship dynamic they crave, but thats a whole different post to be made 😶 ) to roll with and let everything else kind of fall to the wayside.

and like thats fine! south park is very much a sand box kind of fandom, because theres so much content and continuity is dubious at best and half the fun of writing these characters is picking and choosing the traits you like to build a little guy that makes your brain feel good. but i think theres just way more options with stan than i realize until im thinking real hard about him.

i think its also kind of easy to think of him as 'boring' because a) the other members of the main 4 are much more outlandish and b) hes kind of understated. hes the straight man of the group by default, and that has a way of like tricking people into thinking he's just definitively a straight man. it's really not the case though, and we see that the most when he's dealing with characters outside the main 4.

i was going to write a list of my fave stan traits to play up, but then it was really long and unwieldy! but there's a lot of play with there, and honestly, i mix it up almost every time i write him. i rp a lot, and my rp buddy and i have a LOT of aus, so every time we're drafting a new one, i think in the back of my head 'well what aspect of stan haven't i explored yet, let's put that in this one'

one of my favorite aspects to explore when writing him as an adult (because I am in my 30s and it's more cathartic / interesting to me to write about people my ages still working through problems even when you're aware of them than it is to write about them as small kids or teenagers) is his struggle with addiction and how it plays into his depression.

a lot of the time when i see it done, it skews towards him having little to no control over it and absolutely leaning into coping with alcohol. i think thats a little unkind to stan's iron will. in canon he's already dealt with it, he's already shown that he's capable of self-awareness and that he wants to do his best to not fall into the same patterns as randy. backslides do exist, and i think there's a lot of interesting writing to be driven by exploring that struggle, but it's a real heavy topic that needs a nuance and a kindness that i have a hard time finding. a lot of people like to make him kind of helpless about it, and that he needs their man of choice to hold his hand through it and make him better, and like. i see the appeal of that, its not for me, but i get why people are into it. i just don't think its necessarily in character.

personally i think it's more interesting and more realistic for it to be a thing stan deals with almost entirely on his own. i think his mom encourages him to try therapy and he tries it and it doesn't help as much as he would like, but it does at least a little, and he comes to realize feeling a little less like shit, being just a little bit less miserable, is better than no progress at all. he probably goes on medication too, he just wants to feel better. and just like any other person with depression, therapy and medication doesn't fix it, there's still bad periods, but he feels better than he would without it.

i know one of the hotly debated depictions of stan is him as a jock because he's a sport enjoyer, but i think a lot of people are missing the very real subsect of people who enjoy sports, but don't / can't play them. i have an uncle who will talk my ear off about how his nebraska college football team is doing and what their prospects are like and i really think that's more stan's speed. i always think back to the scientology episode where they immediately pin that it's easy to distract stan from his questions by misquoting the denver bronco's season record and it works, stan immediately knows the correct record.

i get that's harder for people to write because then writers feel like they have to research sports stats and how analysis is done. it's so much easier to just slap a jersey on him and make him a caricature of a billion characters we've all seen in teen dramas. and like, again, if that's what people wanna do, it's fine, i guess, but it doesn't really feel like stan anymore to me. i think he plays sports as a kid because most kids do, but as he gets older he gets way more into the strategy than the actual playing.

and we see that he loves strategy and planning and the theoretical side of it because he also enjoys the same kind of strategic planning in board games. that's all warhammer fuckin' is. it scratches a certain center of his brain and like, if i wanted to get into meta, i think there's a lot of be said about that kind of control he has in board games / plotting sports strats that he does not have in his home or social life.

overall, like i said at the beginning of the post, i think the reason he gets done so dirty is mostly to make him fit a person's ideal shipping dynamics, and because it's so easy to accidentally read him as a blank slate. but i guess also it's that the most compelling aspects of his personality, at least for me, are complex to write and i get not everyone is looking to deeply explore the psyche of a dude who comes across so incredibly average.

i could actually go on so much more, but i gotta stop myself at some point.

having a lot of strong feelings about stan marsh today

[heleizition]

How Alfred interact with his shifter babies? Where is Barbara in all of this? Is she a shifter or human? Also, I want to know more about Tim's parents... How was they and how Tim ended up with batfamily?

ok hold on . .. i need a second . .. im thinking about alfred holding like, baby panther dick in hi arms n smilng softly,,, jst . .. give me a moment . ..... like ... hes cooking n hyerna jason who’s starting to grow jst sits beside him n tucks his head on the counter n looks at alfred like feed me and alfred is so so fond of his grandsons yk,,, of his family,,,, cries

OK SO beside that tim shifts from cat to human the first time with alfred,,, hes a safe adult in his eyes and he trusts him and its a trust alfred hasnt and wont ever betray. cass just likes to sit on his shoulder while he has tea,,, he makes her a cup and she flies over to drink when she feels like it but mostly she’s chilling. steph usually runs around and tries to pick things up to “help” alfred and he gives her lil pets,,,, duke usually feels like in the way when hes shifted and alfred is cleaning up or working around him so he usually shift back and helps and it makes alfred smile a lot even after he tries to shoo duke away bc thats His Job yk,,, duke still helps sefooefshofse

OK UM i admit i did not think of babs bc she always slips from my mind,,,, i dont have a big connection to her character,,,, im not sure if she’s a shifter yet i gotta think but i kinda feel  ,,, fox for her,,,,, if u have other suggestions im open ? i dont know much about her character sadly,,,,

OK SO under the cut is tim’s story n how he met and ended up w the bat, big tw for animal (shifter) abuse and child abuse, starvation, abandonment, umm mutilation & description of injury

tim first turned into a cat (to his parents knowledge) when he was about 4 or 5. he’d been already introduced to the world but as he was a small child they hadn’t really been showing him around everywhere so only a handful of people knew/remembered small boy tim. janet has a particular hate toward that branch in her family that can shift so she’s really jst. hating her son having it and she immediately just. decides that she just doesnt want to see him. so jack and her just start locking him in a tiny cat cage, which prevent him from turning back into a boy, feed him catfood when they remember to feed him. at some point they get him declawed (which gives him terribly vivid nightmares of human him getting his fingers torned off of his hand) and when they leave they give him a tight collar while leaving him out of the cage which prevnts him from shifting back bc the collar would just go through tim’s throat if he shifted to human.

so tim drake ends up . not existing. everyone forgets the drakes had a son, tim very rarely gets to be in human shape (which hurts at some point), and when he does his parents usually yell at him and making him feel very unwanted, going as far as throwing things at him until he jst, shifts back and makes himself as small and forgotten as possible. he stopped going to school early, but he still taught himself to read (u gotta do smth when ur stuck as a cat for years) and went through lots of his parents books (that were on bottoms shelfs bc its hard to put the books back in the right shelves while in cat form and he gets yelled at enough as it is just for existing).

so he’s like 10, and his parents have been gone for a while . and he’s rly not doing good. he’s not rly clinging to life. he’s underfed. everything hurts. his brain isn’t really reactive anymore. and hes on the wall between the drakes and the wayne’s estate dick and jason are in the garden, playing around, and he just. falls asleep. passes out from exhaustion and his body kind of giving up on him.

they hear him or see him, idk, they find him and jason shifts back, holding the small kitten in his arms and he runs inside, n they take care of him, the adress on the collar said he’s from next door,,, at this point they dont know he’s a shifter,, but when he wakes up tim’s all warm and tucked against a warm body (dick) and jason is beside them petting him gently and the second tim is awake he’s tense and trying to get away bc humans have done nothing but hurt him at this point yk,, he’s barely ever met anyone,,, he sticks to the drake’s house bc he’s terrified they’ll know if he goes somewhere else

(altho deep down he thinks they’d be happy if they came home to an empty house)

and when he wakes up. thats when dick n jay understand he’s not just a cat, he’s a shifter, n jason holds him in place to remove the collar bc he *knows* he cant possibly be able to shift to human with it,,, but even without it tim doesnt shift back, hes jst, scared cat,,,,

(”hey, it’s ok, we’re like you” jason says, in the most gentle voice dick’s ever heard him use. there is a moment of silence, where the kitten blinks, and then the familiar noise of flesh rearranging itself while jason shifts into his hyena form. he’s careful to keep his distance, laying on his stomach to make himself smaller - which helps, but not by much as he’s still huge compared to the little shifter in front of them. dick knows the lines of tension and those of exhaustion in their muscles, and remembers how they didn’t even stir when jason had carried them inside. he shifts. 

“i’m gonna get you some food, okay ?” he levels his tone with his brothers. “we should have some fruits around, upstairs. fish maybe ? if you’d like ? or something else.” he smiles that smiles only he knows how to smile. “or maybe you’d like to pick yourself ?”

the little cat manages to make themselves smaller.)

they eventually manage to feed him and hydrate him, and dick tells alfred and bruce about the little shifter while jason keeps an eye on him,,, bruce connect the drake and tim shaped dots. he remembers janet and jack rejecting a gala invitation a while back bc she had recently delivered, only he’d never seen the kid.

tim only lets jason and dick close a first, bc they’re younger, bc they’re shifters, and then alfred bc alfred always brings him food on a plate and with a fork and knife like he’s going to use them as a human. he talks to tim and pets him gently once tim allows it,,, he’s a safe adult.

bruce scares him a lot, even if he’s gentle and he’s a good dad. he’s bigger than jack has ever been, and he knows he could hurt him. he just scares him a lot. he has too much authority, too much presence.

tim shifts back into a human on is seventh day at the manor, while alfred sits with him in a little room tim had hid in. he’s a very small boy and he cries out in pain when he shifts, but alfred puts a hand on his cheek and just smiles

(”hello, my boy”)

tim is very quiet, takes a shower and shifts back before anyone else can see him,,, but slowly he lets it happen around the others. one time dick n jay wake up from a nap session to a little boy suggled between them,,, there is a lot of hurt and pain from jason bc he’s been that little boy, hurt and scared and in pain, and it brings back a lot of sad things,,,

eventually he lets himself shift into bruce’s arms on the second week and he cries a lot n bruce tells him he figured out he’s the drake’s son, and jst, h, he adopts

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[katewaliss]

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth

[luque-moreau]

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

ye

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different. 

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd.  this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be   v  e  r  y   enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information. 

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)