#and the 55 minutes pain paragraph

[wistfullywaiting2]

i'm literally Dazai’s favorite protégé because i am so understanding and kind and i do not complain when he uses me in his plans without my knowledge and he doesn’t even have to apologize for it because i accept it as the only way without any convincing and when his plans hurt me i take all of the pain it gives and accept that pain as part of my very existence and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my tiger fur and my guts all unspool like the most delicious meal and my eyes are kind and naive and hold no accusation and every time it destroys me i get pieced back together and come right back to continue being his protégé because Dazai cares about me so so much and he always chooses me as his sacrifice every time because he knows i’ll come back and he always places one hand on my head to calm me while he makes his plans and he doesn't do it for the other protégé only me because i'm his favorite

[hellurdur]

206 QUESTIONS

Pick a question and I'll answer

Then I'll pick and you'll answer

#till we're tired#

Anyone that fails to answer, will subscribe the other person's phone.

1:Do u still love your ex?🌏❤

2:Will u marry me?😕

3:Are u in love?😶

4:Do u like me?😏

5:Can we date?👀

6:Are u single?😴

7:Can I be your bestie?😇

8:Can I be your gf/bf?😉

9: Let's be frnds wif benefits?🔥

10:Send me your nude?😋

11:What ll u do if we where locked in a room for 2 hrs?😎

12:Let's be fuck buddies?😜

13: Seduce me when we meet?😒

14:something u love about me?😍

15:Write a paragraph about me?💓

16:Who is your favourite person to chat with?😌

17:Who do u hate?🤨

18:Date me or pass?🤷🏼‍♂🤷🏼‍♀

19:Send me a screen shot of the chat with your crush😈

20:Confess to me something deep😠

21:Put a pic of me on your status an take it off after 2 minutes🙃

22:kiss for an hour?😋

24: What's your nickname?

25:How would u describe me atleast 6 lines😗

26:Put me as your status saying my boo🦋

27:Write my name on your status with a heart❤

28:Propose to me💍

29:Send me your sexy pic🔥

30:Send me your sexiest pic💥

31:Write my name on your status saying u love me🙊

32:Would u choose food or me🤤

33:Tell your bestie u like me😀

34:The best thing we did together🤭

35:Tell me your deepest secret🤪

36:Whose your boy bestie ?😁

37:Whose your girl bestie?😄

38:Smash or pass?👌

39:Ever lied to your crush?✌

40:Ever cried for love?😭

41:Ever dreamt about me?😱

42:Tell me something to make me blush😊

43:Post on your status u love me till the moon and back😂

44:Do u consider me a gud friend?👥

45:Can I be your bestie?👫

46:Post a pic of me on your status saying my bestie TLT🤷‍♀

47:Tell me if u see me as a angel or a devil?🧚‍♀👿

48:Tell me something that makes me happy and sad at the same time🧐

49:Hug me next time u see me👩🧑

50:Tell me a secret about u?😨

51:Tell the person u hate u love them🤣

52:Tell the person u love u hate them😃

53:Post on your status in pain😢

54:Wright my name and your name on your status for 1 day🙈

55:Be my slave for 2 days🤩

56:send me your boob pic you can't say no tho

56²: pic in panty only😋

57:Tell me something u have never told anyone😛

58:Rate me out of 10⭐

59:Where do u see our friendship in a months time💫

60:Whats on your mind?🤔

61:Send me a 100 hearts an say u love me 💖

62:What atrackts u to me the most?❣

63:Let's have sex on the first date 👙

64:Put my pic and write we had a great night 😍

65:Tell the person who broke your Virginia 😁

66:let's fuck for a night🤪

67:Tell someone u love them🤤

68:Send me a v.n saying BABY I LOVE U💞

69:Send me a song witch reminds u of me💝

70:Tell someone u crying for me💟

71:Tell someone #with your name for no reason😂

72:Hug me tight next time u see me🙈😍

73:Send me your naughtiest pic☠

74:will we be together in the future?💙

75:What would u prefer singing or dancing with me?🗣

76:Keep your breath in for 1hour😶

77:Send me 3 photos of u that u think is cute✨🌹

78:Tell me anything over a v.n🌈

79:Kiss me on the chick next time u see me☺🙈

80: Send me $2 ecocash💰

81:What would u want our relation to be?🤔

82:Give me 10 kisses😙

83:What would u do if I asked u out?🙈

84:Bribe someone😆

85:Am I naughty?😜

86:Would u take me with u to a party?🎉

87:Would u like to sing with me?🎤

88:Buy me a chocolate🍫

89:Tell someone there hot🔥

90:Eat a ladybug🐞

91:Tell someone they look like an alien 👽

92:Send me a cute message😱😳

93:Send me a new contact😒

94:Ask someone do they love u?😘

95:Are u a lazy person?

96:Cry for 2 hours😭

97:Send me one of your beautiful pics😱98:Send me one of 9 your most embarrassing pics

99. Thoughts on me?

100. Would you ever date me?

101. Birthday

102. Worst mistake

103. Ur greatest fear

104. Crush

105. Best colour

106. Do u or have u smoked?

107. Do u drink alcohol?

108. Do u go for nyt parties?

109. Last time u cried and wat caused it

110. Ur dreams

111. Have u or do u masturbate?

112. Happiest moment

113. Best memory

114. Last kiss and wit who

115. Do you watch porn?

116. Your best body part

117. Ever been fucked hard nd u cried?

118. Complete d**k

119. Complete p***y

120. Ur most enjoyable sex,tel me abt it in details

121. Full name

122. If u have d chance wil u date me?

123. Will u kiss me?

124. Kiss or hug

125. Favorite song

126. Favorite movie

127. Ever kissed a same gender person?

128. Do u love bj?

129. Send me ur number

130. Ever maked out?

131. Wanna explore me?

132. Wanna kiss me?

133. Wanna fuck me?

134. Wanna date me?

135. Ever been abused?

136. Best hubby

137. Tel me 3 deepest secrets

138. Send me ur nude pics or porn videos

139. Favorite body part of ur opposite gender

140. Big dicks or normal dicks

141. Big pussy or normal pussy

142. Promise to kiss me wen we meet

143. Tell me how u really feel about me

144. Tell me a story

145. Do u wear bra?

146. Do u always wear pant?

147. Promise to watch porn wit me or gv me a Bj

148. Will u let me finger u or stroke ur dick?

149. Wat age did u have ur first sex

150. Wat year did u have ur first sex

151. Player or loyal

152. Single or taken

153. Have you ever been played?

154. Have you ever played someone?

155. Tell me an erotic story

156. Last sex

157. Ever had sex wit a same gender person?

158. Use my pic as ur dp for 1 week

159. Send me ur breast or chest picture

160. Do u sex chat?

161. If u see me naked, wat will u do

162. Shy or bold

163. Ever slept naked?

164. Virgin?

165. Wat turns u on

166. What do you love doing the most

167. Ever begged for sex?

168. D craziest tin u have ever done

169. Best friend

170. Ever had sex?

171. Age

172. Are you naughty?

173. Naughtiest tin u have ever done

174. Ever exchanged nude?

175. Buy me a gift

176. Wil you let me touch you?

177. Do you love me?

178. How do you want d dick or pussy to be.

179. Sex chat with me

180. Have some mistakenly seeing ur dick or pussy?

181. What gets u wet

182. Last time u felt like having sex

183. Favorite clothes

184. Ask me anything

185. Promise to have sex with me

186. Nickname

187. Favorite sex position

188. How long do you want sex to be.

189. Do you love sex?

190. Something u will change about yourself

191. Send me two of your sexiest pics

192. Tell me how you had ur last time sex in details

193. How much do you enjoy sex

194. Tell me things you want from me.

195. Hard fuck or normal

196. Send me 2 pics of your dick

197. Send me 2 pics of your pussy

198. Hairy dick/pussy or shaved

199. Send me your dance videos

200. Will you fuck me?

201. Ever fucked someone you don't love?

202. What do you like in a girl

203. What do you like in a boy

204. Tell me things you want us to do together

205. Send me a sex video of yourself

Ask away, I’m really bored.

[bloody-bonesaw]

WTNV 192 + AN IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF SCREENSHOTS FROM ‘CAT BALLOU’

I told you I was gonna do it. 

-

First, I’m just gonna acknowledge how cool it is that Fink and Cranor even bothered to make these moments from the episode match up with the timestamps from the film, I love that they’re always trying to include their audience in fun little ways like that.

So the way I’ve decided to do this is go through the episode and compare every moment the movie is given any sort of description, until the point I’ll elaborate on later, where Fink and Cranor clearly take over.

-

“the television turned itself on, and there she was: the Columbia Pictures statue famously morphing into a cartoon and firing off her pistols. I knew exactly the movie, and I couldn’t turn away.”

Yep, this is completely accurate to the film, not much to speculate on here, here’s that clip for anyone interested:

-

“But soon, I started to notice the face. At around 15 minutes and 30 seconds, between the two balladeers, in the far background there’s the city courthouse. Just to the right of the front door is a man. He appeared as a black smudge at first, but the longer I looked the more I could see that thin mouth, those threatening, beckoning eyes.”

First thing I wanna pick up on here is that this line is actually delivered wrong in the episode. Cecil accidentally says “around 15 seconds, and then 30 seconds” instead of “15 minutes and 30 seconds”. Clearly, this isn’t a big deal, I just enjoy finding little things like that when I go through the transcripts.

Here’s the screenshot of 15:30 from the movie:

I wasn’t able to capture the exact moment as screencapping movies is a pain in the ass, but within the red circle, behind the horse’s head, there is what appears to be an extra wearing a hat, who does indeed appear as just a black smudge. At no point in this shot does the camera get close enough to reveal any sort of facial features whatsoever, so the part about the “threatening, beckoning eyes” was clearly what I will henceforth refer to as, a night-valeism.

Let’s move on

-

"Again at 23 minutes, he’s in the crowd watching the square dance. Everyone’s heads are facing left into the circles of dancers. Every head except one. He’s looking right at the camera again. Not at the camera… at me."

This one was very difficult to analyse as “in the crowd” is a very vague description of this scene, and so they could have been referring to any one of the extras here that weren’t dancing.

Here’s the screenshot:

There were two male extras in this scene who I could make out not looking left at the dance, but the one I circled in red is the only one who actually glances at the camera. Unfortunately, it’s only on screen for a split-second before it cuts so I couldn’t get the exact moment he stares into the camera. I noticed this guy does seem to be a little less ‘in character’ than some of the extras, which is weird considering he’s pretty obvious compared to some of the other extras.

-

“But at 36:55 in the top right, behind the stone well in the thicket, he’s there again. If you have a copy of this movie at home, go watch it, and tell me I’m not imagining this. It reminds me of The Ring [...]”

The interesting thing about this one is that this is the first timestamp included where there is clearly no extras. Here I’ve circled a few smudges that could potentially be mistaken for figures but in this case it’s more likely that Fink and Cranor KNOW there isn’t anyone there- (cont)

-But decided to include it anyway so they could draw that comparison to ‘The Ring’. Look at the well to the right surrounded by trees and tell me it doesn’t remind you of this:

Speaking of ‘The Ring’...

-

“But then at 56 minutes and 56 seconds in, Jane Fonda stands in front of an old shed and throws rocks [...] And behind her on the left, a man stands with one arm on his hip, the other resting on a shovel. His hat hides his face. Then he walks slowly forward, lifting the shovel. He keeps walking forward, downscreen of Jane Fonda, who is still giving the performance everything she’s has, as if some rogue extra isn’t ruining the shot.

The man then lifts the brim of his hat and looks right into the camera. His lips are moving, but not like speaking, more like undulating. It’s hard to hear if he is making any noise, because the audio mix on this movie was terrible. I could barely discern any other sounds beneath the electrical hum of the owls.”

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never actually watched ‘The Ring’, but I know enough about it to recognise that this scenario, intentional or not, is part of a horror trope popularised by the film. (Interestingly, I noticed Cecil and Jeffery actually covered ‘Ringu’, the Japanese original on their podcast ‘Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9′ (try saying that ten times fast lol) about three weeks ago. Probably unrelated since I doubt they wrote the episode less than three weeks before its release but still, maybe it was just on their minds that day.

All that aside, this is my favourite screenshot they included and you’ll see why:

That’s right, the figure is (pretty much) EXACTLY as described (if you’ll excuse the fact that his hand is on his knee, not his hip, and he’s holding a rake, not a shovel.) As you’ve probably guessed, the second part of that paragraph is a complete Night-Valeism but that shouldn’t be a surprise. 

-

What I love about this whole thing is how it really plays into the idea that Night Vale has suddenly become a part of our universe, what with the movie going from previously being played entirely by eternally-thirty-year-old Lee Marvin (except the balladeers played by Nat King Cole of course) to actually being how it is in the real world, and yet, still containing the Night-Valeisms that make it feel as if our universes have collided. I’d love to hear if anyone had watched this film before the episode came out and if perhaps you felt yourself double checking the scenes in a sort of Mandela-effect fuelled panic.

If you do want to watch the movie for yourself, it’s important to note that what Cecil says in the beginning about outdated and offensive jokes is also, unfortunately, entirely accurate. The film is full of mysogyny disguised as humor and casual 60s racism, so be prepared and remember to view it with a critical eye.

-

If you’re still reading, thank you so much! (And also what on earth are you doing I mean really.) I think it goes to show just how much I care about Welcome to Night Vale that I watched a whole 90 minute movie I wouldn’t have otherwise cared about just so I could give context to this 20 minute episode. I love this damn show so much.

[jamiebluewind]

Thank You

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being kind. I know some of you must be... annoyed that I haven't been sharing anything lately (I have too if I'm being honest), but nobody has thrown any hate at me for it and for that, I'm grateful.

I've been resting up since I got out of the hospital, a fact that has been driving me crazy if I'm being honest. Only so many hours in a day and I'm spending so many of um in the bed (doesn't help that dad fussed at me for it)! Then I tell myself that if one of you were in the same position, I'd be fussing your ear off for thinking such a thing and trying to get you to rest, so I'm trying to give myself the same courtesy.

I'm... hesitant to share what went wrong, not for embarrassment but because I don't want yall to worry. Then I realized that this post has probably already make you think far worse, so here goes...

WARNING: Blood mention, illness, body function mention, pain, menstruation, confusion, dehydration, (please tell me if I missed any!)

I got an IUD put in. I didn't want it, but my periods are bad and my insurance wouldn't cover just removing the parts before trying this first. It caused a lot of pain due to having nothing for pain, the person putting it in not knowing what they were doing, and them using silver nitrate without rinsing it off which gave me chemical burns on my cervix. I stayed in pain and they responded saying to take a tylenol and I'd eventually be fine. During this time, I bled constantly. Not a lot, but some. I also had my normal periods to deal with. I found out it was even effecting my mood and making me tired (hormones, constant cramping, or both, you be the judge). Two months in, I wanted it out. They said I just needed to tough it out and I would be fine by 6 months. I'm pretty sure my face did a thing that symotaniously screamed confusion and "fuck you", but I did as I was told.

In the meantime (during December and even now), my heater thermostat started doing something weird. I set the temp, but it would let it get down to like 55° F (12.7° C) at night when it was set on like 68 (20° C). During the day, it would get about 10° F warmer than what it was set (so like 78° F or 26° C). It was kicking on, but not regulating it how it was supposed to. I told my landlady, but they take for-freaking-ever! So out comes an electric blanket to keep me warm at night. I basically lived under the thing after the sun set! I just kept it on one or two so I wouldn't get too warm. I was also feeling crapy (*gestures to previous paragraph*), which meant more bed time than normal.

A few days before Christmas, I got a shot that was supposed to last a month and help block a nerve that causes migraines. I have debilitating hemiplegic migraines and the risk was very low, so I decided to give it a shot. The medication is very new and due to my rare form of migraine reacting atypically to medications, you would think I would know by now not to try medications that haven't been out long.

The fourth and final domino in all this was all the running due to the holiday season. I'm disabled and I have a weak immune system, but I kept pushing myself. I walked so much price shopping for things for everyone that would both mean something and not break budget (even when me left leg wanted to nope out) because Dad gave me a bit of money last minute to help me buy gifts and I only had a week. I wrapped gifts for dad and myself. I cleaned and did some baking. Then there was the driving and the great but exhausting time with family and playing catch with my youngest nephew until my arm was nearly falling off. When I eventually got back home, my whole body had this bone deep ache. Not like overworking muscles after not using them for a long time, but like I had the flu. This is on top of the cramping.

*Note: Some of the information past this point is things the medical staff told me happened, things my dad said happened, and texts*

I would get better and worse. Always worse when I first woke up (remember the blanket?). I went to dad's for a traditional southern New Year's meal. He said I was spacey, lethargic, and far more quiet than normal. My eyes had trouble focusing and I had trouble concentrating. I looked tired so, he made me sleep before driving home. I woke up about 3 am, drank a glass of water, drove home, wrote a post about it (which took entirely too long for me to write), and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and just... laid there. I was having trouble figuring out where my body was. It just felt numbed somehow. I called my neurologist thinking it was a side effect the the drug. I'm not sure what I said, but they made me go to the ER.

I'm not sure how I drove there to be honest. I do remember somebody honking. I'm glad it was close, but still. It's a wonder I didn't get in a wreck!

I don't remember much. A yellow floor sign. A woman writing with a marker. Another woman with brown drawn on eyebrows. A machine that had a small piece of that brown first aid tape stuck to it. A name that made me think of the green emoji face (which my normal brain has yet to figure out). I had trouble talking and thinking. I remember repeating "stay still" over and over the (I think it was) several times I was instructed to, because if I didn't, I'd forget. I'm pretty sure I left my room several times. I know I went to my car once. I remember eating food, but I only recall a pineapple cup because I realized partway that I had a spoon that I could use. I kept forgetting to tell them I was hurting when they asked. I had a headache and sick stomach. I also felt so cold and my feet were like ice, but I was running a low grade fever after all.

I started feeling a little better, but the doctor still admitted me. I had a white count, but they couldn't figure out from where. I messaged a few people to let them know what was going on finding typing easier than talking. I used that to my advantage and typed out my allergies to show a nurse.

They struggled getting the IV in, even on my hand. When it finally was in I was hooked up to fluids to keep it open. More blood taken to try and figure out what was wrong. I gave them what urine sample I could which was tinted (I couldn't help it). They had already done some type of brain scan (but I didn't remember it). I kept having minor dizzy spells, but I attributed it too all the blood they took.

They kept giving me stuff, but nothing helped my headache. It wasn't a migraine, but still very nasty. I was grateful when something finally seemed to help.

My nurse came back with lots of juice to go with my super so I'd have something to drink and a container of ice water. She was new to the hospital and hung around at times just checking on me and talking. Just a nice person. It was otherwise a lot of sleeping.

The longer I stayed, the easier it was to communicate, but the tests couldn't figure out why. They ruled out seizures and a stroke. A mini stroke was highly unlikely and didn't fit. They couldn't find an infection anywhere. My white count went back to normal. They couldn't figure it out.

That was until my nurse from the previous day came back. We just talked about general things until I made a joke about the urine sample from the day before. She asked if it was clean catch and I said yes, but just barely. That ended up causing questions and her checking charts. Turns out that despite being there since the morning before, I had peed twice (with the last time hours before). She pressed on my bladder which wasn't distended. 3 bags of fluid, 3 meals (2 of which I know I ate all of), plus whatever I drank. I had been dehydrated to the point that it had caused my white count to go up and was the reason behind my confusion, lethargy, dizziness, headache, nausea, and low urine output. I was pretty surprised. I was released before lunch.

Pushing past my limits, minor medication side effects (including one long term med), staying under an electric blanket too much to stay warm (combined with exhaustion which meant longer in bed and less time awake to drink water), and pain and constant bleeding due to my IUD... all those things combined causing it to happen. I'm still... oof. Still tired. Still weak. Still recovering. Sleeping so much that the days fly by. Drinking lots of water. And otherwise doing just fine (save for my sleep schedule going to shit again). I still love my electric blanket; it's just been temporary retired until I can get myself rehydrated again. That means my other blankets are out of the vacuum bags and piled up to keep me warm ^_^

Speaking of warm, I have my very own love bug/velcro/snuggle buddy Danny who has been on me like white on rice since I got home. He's a good boy

[gigslist]

8 Productions Seek Crew, Creatives, Directors, Editors, Writers, Costumers, NFT Designers - Remote

Switch Is On-Clean Energy PSA/Video

CATEGORY:TV & VIDEO: DEMO & INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOS

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOMENONUNION

EXPIRES:February 6, 2022 3:59 PM

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Company

School of Thought

Tom Geary, dir.

Production Description

Seeking someone to serve as talent for a roughly two minute long clean energy PSA about the benefits of clean electric appliances. Familiarity with the basics of home electrification is not needed, but definitely a plus. Requirements: This is a modest PSA. We aren’t expecting Adam Driver or Chadwick Boseman-type performances. But you have to have experience in front of a camera and be able to memorize and deliver a few paragraphs of material, confidently. (Not all at once, but some scenes might be 25 seconds each.) You would have to be available for one-two days, sometime in late January, at a location somewhere in the Bay Area. (We’re working on that in parallel). It may or may not be a weekend. We’ll be employing Covid precautions, including daily testing. For everyone’s safety, proof of vaccinations will be mandatory. You will be paid at least $500, and gain experience in front of a professional production team that will leave you with a high quality sample for your reel. (We’ll also leave you reeling with more than a few Dad jokes). But more than that, you will also be helping educate your fellow Californians on simple things they can do to improve our air quality, reduce pollution, save energy (and even cook better). This PSA will be created as part of the Switch Is On campaign. To see examples of the creative team leading the shoot, visit SchoolofThought.com

Roles

Expand All Roles

Actors & Performers

Main Talent: All Genders, 25-55

Creatives and Crew

After Effects Designer: WORK FROM HOME

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Somewhere in the Bay Area. (We are working on the location in parallel)

Compensation & Contract Details

Professional Pay

Estimated Payment: $500.00 - $1200.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Pays $1200/flat rate.

Key Details

Seeking talent from:

Oakland, CA; San Francisco, CA

https://www.schoolofthought.com/contact

==================

First Responders Procedural Drama, Writers

CATEGORY:ENTERTAINMENT JOBS & CREW: FILM & TV CREW

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOMENONUNION

EXPIRES:February 4, 2022 3:59 PM

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Company

Paine Lake LLC

Robert Philips, coord.

Production Description

Seeking writers for a new weekly television drama about first responders.

Roles

Collapse All Roles

Creatives and Crew

Writer for Drama about First Responders: WORK FROM HOME

Required Skills:

Script Writer

Apply

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Shoots TBD remotely.

Compensation & Contract Details

Professional Pay

Estimated Payment: $1000.00 - $10000.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Compensation based on experience.

Key Details

Seeking talent:

Worldwide

robert.philips@painelake.com

===========

'I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now'

CATEGORY:VOICEOVER: CORPORATE & INTERNET VIDEOS (VOICEOVER)

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOMENONUNION

EXPIRES:January 25, 2022 3:59 PM

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Company

The Dream Media Group

Duncan Hoffman, owner-president

Production Description

Casting voice-over talent for "I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now," a web based training.

Roles

Collapse All Roles

Creatives and Crew

Editor: WORK FROM HOME

Required Skills:

Editor (Final Cut Pro)

Editor (Premiere Pro)

Professional Pay

Estimated Payment: $200.00 - $300.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: 2 Hours)

Apply

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Talent works remotely.

Compensation & Contract Details

Professional Pay

Estimated Payment: $100.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Pays $100. Production states: "Projects will be delivered via web with no restrictions. Wwe’re willing to discuss royalty arrangements."

Key Details

Seeking talent:

Nationwide (United States)

https://www.linkedin.com/in/duncanhoffman87899298

=================

PlayZoomers, Directors for Online Plays 2022

CATEGORY:THEATER: PLAYSSTAGE STAFF & TECH

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOMENONUNION

EXPIRES:October 31, 2022 4:00 PM

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Company

PlayZoomers, Inc. www.playzoomers.org

Jan Carpman and Mary Ann Nichols Hubbard, co-prods.

Production Description

Casting all lengths and genres of online plays for PlayZoomers, Inc., a national online theater company

Roles

Collapse All Roles

Actors & Performers

Directors & Assistant Directors: WORK FROM HOME

seeking experienced directors for online plays. Send a directing resume, highlighting your Zoom directing experience.

Required Media: Headshot/Photo, Cover Letter

Required Skills:

Production/Crew: Directing

Apply

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Online. Monthly plays between Jan.- Dec. (August off).

Compensation & Contract Details

Stipend

Estimated Payment: $50.00 - $150.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Stipend provided depending on length of play (short/medium/full-length). There is a directing contract.

Key Details

Seeking talent:

Nationwide (United States)

Additional Materials

Website:http://www.playzoomers.org

playzoomers@gmail.com

==================

Plays Presented on Zoom, Directors

CATEGORY:THEATER: PLAYS

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOMENONUNION

EXPIRES:February 28, 2022 3:59 PM

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Company

PlayZoomers, Inc.

Jan Carpman, co-prod.

Production Description

Seeking experienced directors (especially directors of color) for monthly Zoom plays throughout 2021 and beyond. Production states: "We produce a variety of genres and lengths, from 10-minute plays to full-length plays. We began in April 2020 with a desire to keep theater alive, at least virtually, during the pandemic, and by the end of 2020, we produced 31 plays with 90+ actors, directors, and playwrights - and scores of audience members - from 27 states, as well as Canada, India, Australia, and Great Britain. In addition to monthly performances, our plans for 2021 include the development of a website and incorporation as a 501 (c)3 nonprofit organization, guided by a Board of Directors. We’re also working on a new initiative called, 'Act Me a Story,' with a children’s advocacy nonprofit in Michigan. We seek and welcome participants of all ages and backgrounds."

Roles

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Actors & Performers

Directors: WORK FROM HOME

experienced, well organized, patient, and skilled at working closely with actors, playwrights, and producers.

Apply

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Rehearses and performances over Zoom.

Compensation & Contract Details

Stipend

Estimated Payment: $35.00 - $50.00 Flat Rate (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Directors will be paid a small honorarium in Amazon gift cards.$35 for short plays, $50 for full-length plays.

Key Details

Seeking talent:

Nationwide (United States)PlayZoomers. playzoomers@gmail.com

================

NFT Project, Graphic Designer

CATEGORY:ENTERTAINMENT JOBS & CREW: GIGS

TAGS:PAIDWORK FROM HOME

EXPIRES:March 10, 2022 3:59 PM

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Company

Mammoth Media

I. Joannou, coord.

Production Description

Seeking graphic designers. Company states: "Mammoth Media is looking to work with designers on a royalty basis for a new exciting NFT project. Our team is thrilled about the potential here and with our previous success in the digital space, we are confident this group of designers will be creating the next trending art for Gen-Z."

Roles

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Creatives and Crew

NFT Graphic Design Project: WORK FROM HOME

Seeking graphic designers. Company states: "Mammoth Media is looking to work with designers on a royalty basis for a new exciting NFT project. Our team is thrilled about the potential here and with our previous success in the digital space, we are confident this group of designers will be creating the next trending art for Gen-Z."

Required Skills:

Graphics Designer

Apply

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Information session Dec. 21 (9 a.m./PST) remotely.

Compensation & Contract Details

Professional Pay

Estimated Payment: $1000.00 - $10000.00 per Year (Estimated duration: Not Provided)

Production states: "All creators will be paid on a royalty basis."

Key Details

Seeking talent:

Nationwide (United States)

Touchhello@mammoth.la

==================

[hunterrevolution940]

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[littleharpethcrossfit]

Tuesday, 14 September      Warmup.......Two WODs.

I sincerely hope some of our usual slugs are pre-viewing this workout.   It’s a little out of my ordinary purview.  And yours.  Try to arrive on time for a change, since the WODs will begin about  4 : 15.  

Warmup:

ROW !!!     You get 20 strokes (PULLS ON THE CHAIN) under a 1 minute time cap.  Please POST your CALORIES attained.

Armando/Brendan=26 

Timmy/Nathan/Andy=25

Robert=24

Ed=22

Dyer=20

Paul=18

Herb/Dana=17

Coach=16

Elisa=13

Sue=12

No Posting:     David A/Shannon/and others.

There are 2 WODS planned for your enjoyment.  Although they are listed as #1  and   #2, you are encouraged to do them in either order that pleases you most.

WOD  #1:

There are 6 rounds in this WOD.  Perform a Round of the below EVERY 3 MINUTES ON THE MINUTE.  Your posted score should be the weight you used for your LAST THREE ROUNDS of Back Squats.    

3 Back Squats

Run 200 / Row 250m

Brendan=325     Armando=300     Ed/Andy=255     Timmy=230     Herb=225     Paul/Robert/Nathan=205      Coach=195     Dyer=185     Dana=165     David A=125     Elisa=115     Sue=105     Shannon=75

WOD  #2:

This is somewhat of a FIELD workout.   5 Rounds For Time.

1  Lap of the Field carrying a Bag     (50/35)

1  Lap of the Concrete Strip Pushing a Prowler with Bag   (50/35)

5  Flips of a Tire     (Big Tire For Big Boys / Little Tire For Little Girls)

Armando=9:14     Brendan=10:52     Robert=11:02     Timmy=12:55    Ed=13:55  Sue=14:11     Herb=14:20      Dyer=14:55    Dana=15:15     Paul=16:00     Shannon=16:19     Coach=19:40     Elisa=“Did It”     Nathan/David A=Did it, no posting     Andy=excused early

Notes:

It’s been over a year since we pushed the Prowlers.  The last time we used them marks the closest I ever came to a major law-suit at LHCF.  Thankfully the period of discovery is past with no word from Bart Durham.  Many of you are aware that a neighbor threatened for 5 years to sue LHCF.  We’ve had a death, a heart attack, concussions, contusions, sutures, stitches, ruptured disc’s requiring surgery, and multiple other injuries requiring surgery (many of these surgeries were mine).  Not to mention  multiple episodes of sexual harassment.  But the Prowler injury was the very worst of all these by far.  

A person who will be un-named was pushing a Prowler when he apparently got stung.  It was a single sting.  Not a swarm.  It was on his hand.  Not his face.  No one witnessed this and no one saw the insect.  There was minimal redness and swelling.  There was no difficulty breathing or other symptoms of anaphylaxis.  We put a little ice on it and thought that was the end of it.

The apparent Hymenoptera was not a Bullet Ant, or a Red Velvet Ant (Cow-Killer), or the much-feared Tarantula Hawk Wasp.  It was not the ever present Solitary Earth Digging Cicada-Killer Wasp.  All of these are 3 or 4+ on the Schmidt’s Sting Pain Index scale (SPI).  No. it was most likely a member of the Halictidae family, otherwise known as Sweat Bees. Professor Schmidt puts these at O to 1 on his Pain Scale Index  (SPI).  However, we are aware that pain perception is a subjective matter.      

Days later,  we were informed of an Emergency Room visit and a visit to an Internist.  It seems that steroids and antihistamines were prescribed.  Perhaps even a course of antibiotics.  A litany of complaints were registered by the injured party every time they attended the gym.  No injury was visible.  

Miss Linda and I reviewed our Home-Owners insurance, our Umbrella coverage, and our required CrossFit Risk Management Insurance.  We hoped that our retirement nest-egg was not endangered.

Leaping ahead, we will be using the Prowlers on 14 September.  I have done everything I can think of to ensure that no Hymenoptera are residing on the Prowlers.  They have been moved, pushed, agitated and sprayed.  If you are scared, don’t touch them.  Welcome to outdoor CrossFit.

The 6 preceding paragraphs I should partially blame on my friend Ned.  You know him as the CrossFitting Entomologist who offered to suck the poison from the wasp sting on a lovely female at the gym.  She had sat on the wasp.  She hasn’t returned.  I don’t know whether to blame the wasp or Ned.

Anyway, today was a total mess.  Helter-Skelter.  Everyone was totally messed up and mixed up.  Very few people understood how to maximize the Rowing WOD.  Athletes showed up and started the Back Squat WOD whenever they wanted.  Subsequently, athletes just progressed onward willy-nilly and did the Field WOD whenever.  Athletes who started the Field events last were comforted by a light rain.  

Do you know the word ENTROPY ?  That’s what we experienced.  Yet almost everyone here complimented me on the programming of this chaotic workout.

Thursday at 4 PM.     A wine tasting will follow.  Will you bring a snack, or a bottle of wine ? 

[finefigure]

What Am I Doing This For?

To be completely honest, I had a less-than-satisfactory practice today. It was crowded on the freestyle, so I decided to do small figures, only to realize that my back and left leg were just not having with the speedy twistiness of the small figures right then. I got off the ice ten minutes before the session was over (which I consider sacrilege) when my leg just up and quit working normally, choosing instead to behave as if it had been suddenly possessed by the soul of a sloth.

This is not an uncommon occurrence. Well, the sloth thing is, but me being in so much pain I can barely understand what my coach is saying or remember which figure I’m skating happens at least 25% of the time these days. It’s a disc thing. Not much to be done about it that I’m not already doing, aside from cortisone shots, which I can’t afford.

I sometimes wish I were one of those people who bears pain with silent dignity, but for better or worse, I am instead one of those people who talks about it. And I’m going to stand by my belief that that’s OK. Because pain is real, and it’s not glamorous, and it’s part of being an athlete---particularly an adult athlete.

And boy, did I have a lot of it today. So much so that I thought it would be good for me to write about what keeps me going, and who and what I am doing this for.

I’m doing it for myself.

I’ve said this before. I love skating, and I particularly love figures. There’s something very satisfying about the symmetry and the striving for perfection, and the crunch of the ice under patch blades, and and and... I love them; that’s all. And through figures, I get to meet people I never thought I’d meet, and do things I never dreamed I’d be able to do.

(An incomplete collection of skating paraphernalia that can be found within five feet of my front door on any given day. Top row: Paper on which Nancy got autographs for me at the 2016 Championships, including those of Trixi Schuba, Gary Visconti, Jan Calnan, and Juliana Sweeney-Baird; a graphic issued by WFS of my 2017 creative figure, framed by my mom. Middle row: Just a picture of me and Dorothy Hamill chilling together at the 2017 WFC like we do, also framed by my mom; a photo of Nancy from Deborah Hickey’s beautiful book; a card from Barbara Wagner; my faithful stretchy gloves; one of my former patch boots, signed by Nancy. Bottom row: Someone’s discarded laces--I have literally no idea which of my 18 past or present patch students they belong to; a blade that was once attached to my patch boots; my scribe; my other former patch boot, signed by Barbara Wagner. So, yeah, maybe I’m into this skating thing a little.)

I’m doing it for figure skating.

I believe that it’s vitally important to preserve figures. More than that, I believe that it’s vitally important for all skaters to do figures. I am a rabid figures evangelist, and if you get close enough to me, I will probably infect you if you don’t have the bug already. Right now, competing and coaching are the ways I am attempting to preserve figures: learning from the best and passing it down. 

I’m doing it for WFS.

I really, really believe in what World Figure Sport does, and not just the preservation of figures part. The judges want to judge the figures on their own merits; they don’t want to know who skated what. You are eligible to compete if you are human--and I’m guessing that if another species showed an interest in skating figures, WFS would let them in too. The main thing is really to enjoy figures and do your best. You should have heard all of the competitors in the dressing room coaching each other and asking each other questions at the 2017 WFC. Lisa wrote to me today and said that something I’d mentioned about my own training had helped her fix her rockers. Talking to my competitors has helped me fix things about my skating time and again as well; my patch neighbor, Julie, has great insights. Sarah Jo and I message each other for encouragement/good-natured complaints/advice every few days. Competitors help each other design their creative figures. I told my dad that, and he asked if maybe it was a bad idea to help someone I’m trying to beat. I said we’re not like that; we all want everyone to do as well as they possibly can, and we’re glad to help each other get there. We lift one another up. It makes my heart so happy.

I’m doing it for my students.

I want to share my love of figures with my students (particularly since I require them all to skate them). Also, they are all university students, and usually beginners, and they’re at an age where they’ve heard they’ll never accomplish anything in sports. But they can’t believe that if they see me doing this, can they? 

I’m doing it for my coach.

When I told Nancy that I want to be champion one day like she is now, she didn’t tell me I was too old to be that kind of athlete, or that I could stand to lose 30 pounds first, or that maybe my dream would have been possible if I’d been trained better as a kid, but since I hadn’t been, this wasn’t a realistic thing to hope for. She just listened to me and then said quietly, “We’ll work it out,” and got on with teaching me as hard as she could. Just try to keep yourself from wanting to work your feet off for someone like that. It can’t be done.

Also, to be honest, it’s pretty much impossible to give up due to the pain of a mere bulging disc and some moderate arthritis at age 42 after having just watched your coach skate to a world championship win on a broken pelvis and torn labrum at age 55. So there’s that.

I’m doing it for you.

If you enjoy watching me skate or looking at my figures, then I’m doing it for you. 

And more specifically, some of you who are reading this might have started skating (or skating figures) “late”--whatever that meant to the person who told you that.

When I started skating the first time around, at 16 years old, most people said I was too old to have any kind of “real” skating career. When I was 22, I got very sick and didn’t skate more than a couple of times between then and the age of 39. I started figures when I was 41. That’s very, very, very late, if you believe what most people say.

It’s not true. It wasn’t true for me, and it’s not true for you either. If you are out there on the ice, you are exactly the right age, no matter when you started. We can only be who we are now, and the great thing is that that’s enough.

I am scared to do this competition. But I’m going to do it anyway. And if it is at all possible, I’m going to keep doing it, every year, until I beat the paragraph loops and rockers and Swiss S into submission and win the whole thing.

If that happens, then someone will have won who never tested figures under the old system, who never competed in skating at all or even had a figures lesson until she was over the age of 40, who had been supposedly “too old” to start skating in the first place, and who was never a member of ISI or USFS.

Ralph Hodgson wrote, “Some things have to be believed to be seen.” That’s the stage I’m in right now. I just have to keep working through the pain and occasional bad practices and cling like a tick to my belief that this can be done.

But it is certainly easier to believe once you have seen. That’s why I want to show you.

If I can do it someday, maybe you’ll see that you can too.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 31 March 1835: SH:7/ML/E/18/0010

7 ¾

11 ¾

No kiss. fine morning F46 ½° at 8 28 at which hour went downstairs to Mrs George Robinson she staid above an hour - came to say Dewhirst had taken a place at upper brea - was going to have skin pits there and the water would be spoilt - said perhaps it was well - I should be obliged to bring an action and the matter would be settled 1 way or other next assizes - I explained about the sending the notice to quit - said I had never named it - Mrs R- said Mr Lister, the appraiser had named it and much had been said about it - said I could not help doubt this - did not know how Mr Lister could know - Mrs R- seemed satisfied with what I said and well pleased - she and all the neighbours anxious for Mr Warburton to get Hipperholme school - Mr William Priestley wrote to Mr  Thomas Robinson, on Sunday morning and Mr. Hudson only died at 12 at night on Saturday, to ask his vote for Mr Carter who is B.A. but not M.A. yet would have been if Mr. Hudson had lived 2 months longer - said if Mr. Warburton did not get the school yet, if he chose to remain at Hipperholme Miss Walker and I would do all we could for him, and he would have plenty of accommodation made for him - I did not even know him by sight, but thought that considering all circumstances, he ought to get the school - then had Turner the delver about rag tops and bottoms - to be delivered at Mytholm at 1/6 per yard 3in. thick and wall stones at 2/. per 2 horse load and ½ per 1 horse load - and the parpoints at 1/. per yard - said this would not do - could get the rag tops and bottoms delivered at 1/3 per yard - the wall stone, too, too dear - would think about it - breakfast at 9 50 in ½ hour having set Throp junior and his man to plant out the hazels (620 that came on Saturday) in my walk bank, and in Wellroyde wood under upper break -  good motion  loose and pretty good one yesterday also after breakfast (next to nothing yesterday and today on getting up) in consequence of eating greens the last three days at dinner  I ought to have had vegetables before. A few minutes with my father weak but pretty well this morning - wrote the above of this morning till 11 - read from p. 8 to 15  Philip on the vital functions and at 11 20 off with A- left her at Crownest (to look over things left there) at 12 - sauntered back along my walk pruning etc sometime with Throp and his man planting the hazels on the bank side there- home about 2 - talking to Charles H- till 3 about the upper brea water etc - no need whatever to spoil the Lower brea water - if any harm done to it, it must be done on purpose - heavy rain at 2 ¾ - came in at 3 5 -  

SH:7/ML/E/18/0011

From 3 10 to 4 ¼ wrote 3 pages and ends to M- sorry I had been so long in writing - would not make excuses but simply beg and entreat her not to think me forgetful - anxious about Percy - ‘I have thought and do think of you, and of her for you, more and more, I daresay than you imagine - you were right to send me the page you wrote on the 9th - perhaps that day or rather its anniversary will never pass by either of us, unnoted - But let us look upon it with thankfulness - I never cease to persuade myself that you determined wisely, and that time will shew you more and more clearly how much you have reason to be satisfied - there is a gleam at hand more brighter than you believe - all will go well with us both - Surely Percy will recover, and surely I shall soon have the only thing wanting to my own happiness, that it, the more perfect assurance of yours - only keep up your spirits, and hope and think all things that please you best, and I ask no more - we know that all things work together for good it is enough’ - Gave M-‘s kind message to Adney - hope it has not made her idle - ‘she often speaks of great pleasure of our having you here - I am not afraid of your liking her less well, or being less pleased than you expect - if you are bent upon having the paragraph, I must send it to you another time -  I cannot, at this moment, turn to the paper, in time for ht letter bag of tonight - but the announcement was, in substance, the marriage of Captain  Tom Lister of SH to Miss Ann Walker late of Lidget - on discovery of the hoax, a handsome volunteer apology was sent by the Editor of one of the papers, and here the matter ended, for nobody was annoyed, and nobody cared about it’  - My father very feeble - my aunt ‘suffers a very great deal but the vital powers seem far from exhausted’ - Believe me always and very truly, very faithfully and affectionately yours A.L.’ Had said my wrist was spelked and I wrote with more pain and difficulty than the last time I wrote -  the heavy rain continuing went down at 4 ¼ and asked  my father for his phaeton to fetch A- home - staid talking downstairs till off at 4 40 and at Cliff Hill at 5 5 - A- had not been there - went to Crownest - she had been looking over old papers all the day, but was just ready to come away - Off at 5 10 and home at 5 35 - Some while with my father and Marian - dressed - A- went to my aunt at 6 - I wrote the first 18 lines of this page - dinner at 6 20 - sent off my letter to ‘Mrs Lawton, Claremont house, Leamington Warwickshire’ - coffee - with my father and Marian near ½ hour till 7 40 - then looking over A-‘s old papers that she brought from Crownest for about an hour - several copies of wills - Mr Caygill’s great grand-father to A- and, whose daughter Ann Caygill married sir James Ibbotson Baronet and Mrs Charlesworth’s will cum aliis - wrote the last 8 lines till 8 50 - till 9 50 read from p. 15 to 55 Philip on the vital functions - 20 minutes with my aunt till 10 ¼ at which hour F50° fine but dullish morning - rainy afternoon from about 2 ¼ -

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Part 1

I fucking hate the comicscube at the best of times. Quite apart from honestly arguing (even before OMD) that in altering time Peter never made the deal and therefore was absolved of it, they consistently publish bullshit like this.

Strap in.

“It’s pretty obvious at this point that the marriage between Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson was an abject failure. In the over 50 years of Spider-Man’s existence, his comics have been some of the most consistently entertaining in all of the medium, except for the nearly 20 year span when he was married. If you look at the list of his most beloved storylines, almost all occur before or after the marriage years, with a few exceptions. That cannot be a coincidence.”

 Wow they don’t even try to hide their bias.

 It’s pretty obvious that the marriage was an abject failure.

 That marriage that lasted 20 years, needs to be teased as returning to spike sales, got it’s own universe in Marvel’s biggest ever event comic, was the most successful story during said event outside of the main book and got it’s own spin-off series off the back of that that’s outlasted similar efforts and gotten consistent critical acclaim.

 Yeah...abject failure. I hope these guys used protection whilst they were bending over for Marvel.

 Let’s break this first paragraph down.

 Could it be that lists of his most beloved stories contain less stories from during the marriage due to:

 -          Sexism directed at the marriage due to Mary Jane’s presence within it (MJ is a historical target for sexism within fandom and marvel offices) as well as the desire to have Spidey be ‘a swinging single’ (which he rarely was before the marriage but whatever)

 -          A consistently pushed narrative that reinforces an anti-marriage stance upon people before they ever even pick up a storyline from when he was married. This also applies to the Clone Saga which isn’t a story so much as it is an era and within that era contains multiple very strong stories

  -          Compilers of list typically being comic book news sites which have vested financial interests in siding with the companies narratives AND supporting their most recent content meaning there is undue bias and praise given to recent works regardless of whether it’s warranted?

 -          Half the marriage occurring in the 1990s when there was WIDESPREAD creative problems within the comic book industry which included a prioritization of gimmicks, style over substance and quantity over quality. The last one was a big problem for Spider-Man who had to support a minimum of FOUR monthly titles, each coming out a week after another and typically telling individual stories, for most of the decade. This was toxic overexposure for the character AND all characters within the narrative compromising over all quality and it was a problem MOST characters suffered from.

 Or you know maybe Spider-Man being married was the reason a lot of 90s X-men and 90s Teen Titans and most of 90s Image comics had serious quality problems too?

  But hey let’s move on to other parts of this opening...er...lie. Yeah. Lie is a good word.

 Spider-Man comics have been consistently entertaining except for the 20 years when he was married.

 I’m not mathematician but if 20 out of 55 years was allegedly unentertaining that means over 36% of your content was NOT entertaining, well over one quarter.

 So this piece of shit article is already shooting itself in the foot. If 36+% of unentertaining content is NOT entertaining then your series is by definition NOT consistently entertaining jackass.

 Now obviously we all know the allegation that there is 20 straight years of crap in Spider-Man is an outright lie but let’s dive deeper into that notion.

 Consistently entertaining?

  Lol...no.

 I love and adore Spider-Man but I’m not blind to when the seires was bad.

  Fact is after the Master Planner Saga the iconic Lee/Ditko run was not that great. Better than most stuff today sure and interesting historically but as stories unto themselves they pale in comparison to what came before and were angry and even pessimistic.

  This is why in the very first Romita era Spider-Man issue (ASM #39) we opened up with everyone being hooked on happy pills (sans Jameson because he’s beyond medication) and everyone is playing nice with one another.

 Lee and Romita did some great stories but not too long after Peter and Gwen became a couple in earnest the series’ quality began again to flag mostly due to Stan Lee probably writing it for a bit too long.

 There were some exceptions of course but it’s really, really obvious that by and large the second half of Stan’s run with Romita (or even his run over all) isn’t in the same league as what he was doing in the first half.

 And frankly Amazing Spider-Man #100-110 is pretty consistently mediocre or forgettable, especially when Roy Thomas was ripping off King Kong for some reason. Hell I’ll say it, Amazing Spider-Man #100 is straight up bad. It’s a clipshow, within a dream sequence repetitive of OTHER dream sequences we’ve seen in the series culminating in something dumb as fuck in the form of Spidey having six arms.

 We then get Conway’s run which is again forgettable until Gwen dies and then it gets interesting. But not really in so far as the superhero action. No, most of Conway’s 1970s superheroics tended to also be lame or mediocre barring some exceptions. However the personal life stuff which constituted less than half of each issue was better than it had been in years.

 We then got Len Wein’s run. Again, some exceptions not withstanding this is a run mostly remembered for bring back Harry, hooking him up with Liz and introducing a new Green Goblin who lasted five minutes.

 Parts of it are bad but mostly it’s just aggressively average but nowhere near the heights of the series past.

 Spectacular began during this run and the issues were a mess of uneven quality for a long time.

 Wolfman took over from Wein and whilst his stories were more exciting due to actually having more momentum they were flawed and regressive for various characters with a clear cut agenda and reductive idea of Spider-Man. Again some GREAT stuff but not what you would call consistent...not when he was chasing the disco era so much. Bill Mantlo in Spec was maybe doing more consistent and lower key work at that time.

 Then Denny O’Neil showed up and presented us with absolutely nothing of value whatsoever for a few years.

 This was the first ever time Spider-Man had an overall run that was honestly bad and it was the early 1980s.

 We got our asses saved by Roger Stern who, his issues writing women aside, gave us many classic stories as did Mantlo in Spec. However we then began the long painful ride in Spectacular of seeing Felicia’s character get dragged through the mud by mantle and then Jim Mooney. Not all bad but that’s just my point...not consistent.

 Now when DeFalco was handling ASm and Peter David was handling Spec that was consistently awesome....so long as you don’t count the utter mess that was Web of Spider-Man. Oops...it does count. Still 2 outta 3 good books ain’t bad I suppose.

 Oh but now we come to the real evil don’t we.

 The marriage.

 Mmmmmhmmmm this begins the horrible 20 year long train to OMD marked by wall to wall garbage right.

 Well...not exactly because we open with Kraven’s Last Hunt.

 What’s that?

 One of the most highly regarded Spider-Man stories of all times that on occasion tops the charts for greatest Spider-Man stories of all time occurring DURING the marriage?

 Impossible!

 It must be a fluke.

 It’s not like it heavily relied upon the marriage as part of the status quo to tell it’s story and provide emotional payoffs or anything...oh wait...yes it did and the creator 100% confirmed this.

 Ah but after this though we have the real garbage don’t we. We have the Michelinie run on Spider-Man that opens with...oh...the debut of the unquestionably most popular and famous Spider-Man of all time who fills a role within Spider-Man’s rogue’s gallery that had never been occupied before: the evil counterpart to the hero.

 Huh?

 Insane.

 Another fluke.

 I mean what else do we have in this run?

 Oh, Peter Parker growing and maturing as a person precisely because he is now navigating life as a newly wed and acting competently in his crime fighting duties. And MJ also growing as a person, including trying to balance her career with Peter’s. The pair of them going through a new take on ‘Spider-Man has cash problems’ and a solid subversion of the damsel in distress trope.

 Well I guess someone can have multiple flukes in a row what else did the early Michelinie issues really accomplish besides all that...and the second Venom story...that is regarded as the best Venom story ever...and is often put among the best Spidey stories of all time even by the anit-marriage Wizard magazine.

 Er....how about those other books though right! Spec and Web must still suck a lot by this point in time.

 They sure do. After Peter David writes a powerful sequel to his iconic Death of Jean DeWolff storyline Gerry Conway takes over both Spec and Web and creates another long lasting villain in the form of Tombstone, gives character development to a beloved, classic POC supporting character in the form of Joe Robertson and generally explores the supporting cast a lot.

 THEN we have a fun crossover between all the books where Spider-Man fights opponents usually out of his league because he has cosmic powers and so we ask questions about how Peter should use these new immense powers responsibly cutting to the heart of the series.

 Awwwwww crap. It looks like these early marriage stories have turned out to have failed our ’20 years of unentertaining garbage’ test.

 But the 90s are here now and we all know there was NOTHING worthwhile published during that time period.

 The debut of Carnage.

 The Harry Osborn Saga by the guy who wrote Kraven’s Last Hunt and in fact his entire run on Spectacular Spider-Man.

 Amazing Spider-Man #400

 The Lost Years

 Final Adventure.

  Spidey’s tie ins to Onslaught.

  Redemption.

  Revelations.

 Citizen Osborn also by the guy who did KLH and in fact his SECOND entire run on Spectacular.

 Identity Crisis

 Freefall

 Yep NOTHING redeemable whatsoever.

  EVERYTHING in the 90s was melting clones or Mackie/Byrne/Kavanagh nonsense.

 Everything.

 Okay maybe not EVERYTHING...or like...most of it...but A LOT of it really did suck you guys so that’s kinda sorta maybe like saying EVERYTHING in the 90s was unentertaining.

 Just like how every story before OMD in the 2000s when PSidey was married wasn’t entertaining.

 Remember that first Morlun arc with one of the best new jobs and battles for Spidey ever and the unquestionably most noteworthy new villain for him since Carnage in 1992?

 Unentertaining!

 Remember that poignant 9/11 issue?

 Unentertaining!

  Remember that conversation where Aunt May learned his secret identity finally?

 Unentertaining!

  Remember that airport conversation where Peter and MJ reconnected?

 Unentertaining!

  Remember the arc after that which organically and slowly got them back to being intimate in a believable way?

 Unentertaining!

  Remember the critically acclaimed first 12 issues of Marvel Knights that spiderfan.org declared to be more the main book than ASM?

 Unentertaining!

 Remember everyone waxing lyrical about Spidey joining the Avengers and unmasking in Civil War.

 Well apparently they were mostly lying about that.

 Remember the 100% BEST Black Cat story of all time by Sacasa in Sensational Spider-Man?

 Unentertaining!

 Remember Back in Black, the story where Spider-Man finally beat Kingpin in a satisfying manner?

 Unentertaining!

  Remember that Matt Fraction annual entirely about the marriage that was nominated for an Eisner award, an honour never before or since bestowed upon any Spider-Man story at all?

 Unentertaining!

 Ah well now we’re through the woods into the nirvana of post-OMD Spider-Man we’ve truly reached the pinnacle of Spider-Man quality haven’t we.

 Like these five separate stories that feature, threaten or heavily imply rape!

 Or this story about Spider-Man and Black Cat acting out of character horny teenagers.

 Or THIS story about the Lizard’s entire character being eviscerated!

 Oooooooh lookee here Spider-Man has a one night stand with a sexist AND racist ‘hot Latina’ stereotype of a character who then goes on to break the law by destroying his property and committing physical assault despite apparently being a lawyer.

 And hey hey, what a treat a SEQUEL to the worst Spider-Man story of all time that, wait, wait YES, it actually manages to be WORSE than the original story AND make the original story seem worse in hindsight too!

 How lucky we were back then.

 But the good times haven’t stopped.

 Since we’ve been blessed with Dan Slott’s writing we’ve been treated too:

 Amazing Spider-Man consistently treated like it’s Marvel Team Up complete with guest stars or characters who aren’t Peter Parker taking centre stage very frequently

 31 issues worth of Doctor octopus as the lead character instead of Spider-Man

 A modern version of Maximum Carnage except instead of the visually interesting villains of Carnage and Shriek going on a street level killing spree it’s the visually dull Morlun and his variant action figure family going bullshit magical crap that has little-no place in Spider-Man...while they kill beloved characters for shock value.

  Spider-Man acting like a manchild as he is also turned into a rip-off of Iron Man instead of anything resembling Spider-Man!

  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

 How ‘consistently entertaining’.

  And by entertaining I mean KILL IT WITH FIRE!

 Huh, wait a tick....it’s almost like the quality of Spider-Man’s stories have actually NOT been all that consistent in terms of their quality and that during those 20 marriage years there were more than a few good stories, some of which HAVE made it into countdown lists of the best Spider-Man stories.

 But what do I know.

 I’m just someone who’s worked on literal comic book info books, knows Spider-Man lore fairly deeply, has read a lot of this stuff and can maybe consider not oversimplifying something into a lazy conclusion like ‘no marriage stories exist in this list because obviously the marriage sucked’.

  “But how could something as relatively minor (in a fictional sense) as a relationship status be such a detriment to entertaining comics?”

 Because narrow minded jackasses like this author kept trying to get rid of it under false pretenses and wound up facilitating some of the worst stories ever.

 The worst parts of the Clone Saga?

 The Mackie Byrne reboot.

 OMD.

 Everything post-OMD.

  These are literally the worst of the worst Spider-Man stories and all of them have involved trying to either deep six the marriage or make Spider-Man work after the fact.

[wistfullywaiting2]

Atsushi and Pain

wanted to talk about the 55 minutes pain paragraph so here we are

In fiction, there's always been the trend of finding loopholes to prevent fatal injuries from actually being fatal. Characters magically able to live in situations where they definitely should be dead or sometimes even just brought back to life. Bsd unsurprisingly is no exception, from basically the third chapter and onward Atsushi is constantly taking blows that he only manages to live through because of the "healing" aspect of his ability. Even to the point of losing limbs.

Because of this I find often large injuries in fiction are something you easily become desensitized to, which is why this moment the the 55 minutes light novel is so notable to me. Usually something like two bullet wounds (the injuries Atsushi has in the scene) seems simple and almost standard. He is shown getting worse injuries all of the time. So to read that casually and then to be hit in the face with four paragraphs on Atsushi's relationship with pain and for it to be described to the audience that pain is not something he has gotten used to but instead a constant agonizing experience that he has learned to endure throughout the span of years gives the scene so much more meaning. To have pain be described as something Atsushi has learned to perceive as integral to his very identity and existence shifted my entire view on Atsushi character and in all honesty I think of "Atsushi hated pain." everytime that he gets hurt in the main manga.

(Also specification of Atsushi negating his wounds not healing or recovering them was actually monumental to me personally)

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 49 - end

Full video here.

Ch 49: eventually the world breaks everyone

Oranges and deep water again.

She says he can tell her anything “my words aren’t sexy or slick but they are sincere” and I said “aw” out loud

Jaxon killed Hudson!

She says she didn’t believe he meant to and he’s like intentions don’t matter when you can do this and then starts destroying the room

Jaxon is now the soon to be vampire king after killing Hudson

“No one is as powerful as me”

Hudson wanted to get mo money mo power

He literally paraphrases Jurassic park here: he got so wrapped up in the could that he didn’t think about if hen should

Hudson wanted to put the shifters in their place - and then anyone who wasn’t a born vampire - and jaxon considered that genocide

Hudson’s power was mind control

His pain makes her ache more than she even ached for her dead parents who just died last month wtf?!

So people wanna hurt grace because “you’re mine” as jaxon puts it

“We’re balancing on a razor thin tightrope, and every minute is a balancing act.” READ IT OUT LOUD GODDAMN IT

“You wear indifference like a mask, you wield coldness like a weapon.” No one in the history of the world talks like this, especially not someone who was just saying “af and fml” 10 chapters ago 

Ch 50: people who live in stone towers should never throw dragons

They have a real sexy kiss

Jaxon believes flint is trying to kill her!!!! Which yeah now knowing that jaxon killed flints brother or was the reason he died rather, makes sense! Except flint seems to like her too??

Jaxon pushed flint out of the tree under grace

Then they kissing AGAIN SHE IN HIS LAP!!!!!

Her uncle shows up and she tried to fix herself in the mirror but there isn’t one lol

She asks how he can see himself and he says “selfie anyone?” And I throw up

She just referenced baby yoda. G2g

“Thanks for rushing to let me in” “grace had to get her clothes back on” asshole but also lmao

Ch 51: trial by dragon fire

We’re reading hamlet again…

She confronts flint and flint calls jaxon a tick lmaooooo

“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to kill me?” “It’s not for the reasons you think, if you would just trust me” - SIR THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT

We love Mickey so much

Flint doesn’t wanna talk to grace in front of a vampire

Ch 52: if you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

She’s in the tunnel with Mickey and she realizes how much safer she feels with him than flint

She’s realized that her intuition is heightened here you mean that thing you were ignoring this entire book??

Mickey reiterates that Grace is a target because Jaxon cares about her which makes what he was saying about a target on her back make a lot more sense

Mickey pretty much confirms what Jackson said about Hudson so we get to hear it all over again

Leah shows up and her and Mickey don’t like each other

Leah says I’d say bite me but I don’t know where you’ve been and Mickey replies I would catch rabies if I bit you LOL

She hugs Mickey and Mickey pats her head like a dog lmaooooooo

Leah says making plans is not Jackson’s modus operandi instead of just saying his MO like a normal person

She texts him “I like it when you bite” and he replies “good because I like the way you taste” and I threw up in my mouth

Not to mention the fact that she immediately texted Jackson that she would go to his room tonight when she seconds before that agreed to hang out with Leah who is clearly grieving and needs a friend...which is not grace

Ch 53: if this kiss is gonna start a war it may as well be worth it

Grace is getting ready to go to Jackson’s room for their date and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the extremely lax rules regarding girls and boys and every other gender being allowed in each others room it doesn’t make sense why is everyone not pregnant

She puts on one of Macy’s dresses and Macy tugs it down to get it over her “ridiculous curves“ She described her own curves as ridiculous and I am all for being body positive but saying you have a banging ass is a little much

Macy says that grace “lusts after Jackson’s sexy sexy body”

I will say that I am 100% here for the sex positivity rather than the tortured virgin shit we dealt with for all of the twilight series

Ch 54: what could possibly be more interesting than kissing me?

It’s the northern lights!!!!!!

“Wrapping his arms around me so that I am snuggled up in the blanket and his arms“ once again for the love of God read it out loud and realize that using the same word that close in one sentence is clunky and distracting please

She says they kiss “until the colors behind my eyes are brighter than the aurora borealis, until it feels like I’m flying“

He takes her like 100 feet above the castle so that they feel like they’re within the northern lights

And they stay up there for a long time and again I just want to know why he wasn’t just a witch I don’t understand

She says Jackson drops kisses on her eyes that’s not how that works

He gives her a necklace with an Aurora borealis stone how cute!

She says “it’s beautiful” and he says “then you’re well matched” which is so cute and then she says “oh my god you’re sappy” and he says “well you’re ridiculously beautiful”

and again we were so close and then we tripped at the finish line

He makes her tea to warm her up (Leah’s tea aw they’re making amends)

He sex bites her again, she begs for it

And then loses his shit?!?

Ch 55: no use crying over spilled tea

So he bit her and drank a lot of her blood because she’s super woozy and she’s like I got to get out of here not so I can live but because if he kills me he will feel really bad about it self-preservation has left the chat

She runs into Leah and Leah smacks the shit out of her and then tells her to sit down...what?!

I thought Leah poisoned the tea earlier in the book I am calling it now that she put something in the tea to make Jackson lose his shit

Leah pulls out a gun and shoots Jackson…

Ch 56: vampire girl gone wild

Leah shoots her with the gun

Ch 57: double double toil and a whole lotta trouble

I’m just gonna say that the moment Leah mentioned that she and Jackson were supposed to carry on an ancient vampire alliance by being together that Grace should have known not to fuck with Leah on any level

Grace wakes up tied to some kind of slab

“For the first time I understand why an animal caught in a trap would be willing to chew its own foot off” but then she continues it with more long winded explanation of what that means when that would’ve been a very powerful line to just leave on its own conveying her desperation

She gets a hand free, then the other, the one ankle, then she hears Leah scream

She’s super woozy and trying to escape but she hears Leah screaming and fighting with someone and she decides to go see if it’s Jackson if he needs her help... how in the fuck are you going to help anybody, Grace

The candles all light at once

Ch 58: never do a trust fall with someone who can fly

There’s a dragon after her!

So for some reason the author decided to take any sort of tension/ horror/ fear out of this section and just ramble on and on about “I’m really tired of getting dragged around by supernatural creatures and San Diego never seemed so far away” just focus on the terror this could be really really scary being flown around in a dragons talons while a vampire chases after you

They fall and she hurts her shoulder

“And here I thought Alaska would be boring” you know what is boring? this entire chapter because instead of letting me the reader sit in the terror and tension of a dragon vampire battle you keep making fucking little quips and remarks like...she’s a human being she should be afraid not like irritated by the situation

Leah punches a hole through flints wing ouch

“The tunnel that will take me back to the school’s main building, the tunnel that will take me back to Katmere“ that’s the same sentence twice John Mulaney voice

Flint stops her from leaving: Leah killed her parents to get her here, for some kind of end the world ritual, that jaxon is involved

Flint starts choking her “you have to die before she can finish this”

Ch 59: carpe killem

No!

Jaxon gets flint off grace via tk

“He just stares down a freaking dragon like it’s a gecko”

Leah catches up with her

Ch 60: some call it paranoia but I call it an evil bitch trying to use you as a sacrifice

….that’s a paragraph

“Which dazes my already not functioning so great brain” i’m not gonna say it again read your writing out loud

Leah is dragging her by her hair and she’s like if I survive this I hope I’m not bald afterward...that’s what you’re worried about??

As she’s being walked down this Secret hallway by Leah she’s getting more and more mad thinking about how Leah killed her parents and is playing God with her life now and I’m just wondering why does she just believe Flint out of nowhere?

She says FML and Leah’s too

She smashes Leah’s head on the altar and goes for the book on the altar, and burns the spell

Ch 61: sticks and stones may break your bones, but vampires will kill you

Leah wants to bring Hudson back by killing grace, who she says is not human

Jaxon gets in

We use the word sickening 4 times during one fight scene, casual

Ch 62: where there’s smoke, there’s a dead vampire

She breathes in the black Hudson smoke but jaxon stops her

Jaxon creates like a vortex to absorb it instead

He throws it at Leah and she turns to dust?!

She gives him her blood because he’s practically dead

Ch 63: a bite to remember

Gooooo fuck yaself

She’s been asleep in the infirmary for 2 days

He’s feeling all angsty about drinking so much of her blood

His mom left the scar on his face not Hudson

They say they love each other but he says he doesn’t think this can work because there’s still gonna be people who want to hurt her because of him

But she’s able to kind of convince him to let himself be loved

Ch 64: all’s well that ends with marshmallows

Civil twilight AGAIN

they go into the forest and drink hot cocoa

So the school only serves animal blood, which allows the vampires to go out during the day, but if they drink human blood, they can only come out at night

And he explains it like an insulin spike, except a spike in a hormone that makes it impossible for him to be in the sun

They’re out there to build a snowman

“Openly checking out his very fine ass” EW jimmy fallon voice

Ch 65: why can’t a girl just have an ordinary HEA these days?

“Hey you didn’t tell me the punchline of the pirate joke”

Suddenly Hudson is there with a sword, and she turns jaxon so she’s between him and the sword and this happens in like 3 sentences

Ch 66: zero - she persisted - Jaxon

Grace has turned into…?

A gargoyle!?!?!?!?

Because she’s trying to trap Hudson or keep him at bay?

And jaxon vows to save her

We used all of the fucks allowed in this one chapter, for sure

What the fuuuuuuuck

[empathique]

What made you ship dazushi? :3 It's a great pairing but yeah only a few ship it T_T

Anon. Anon. Areyou sure you want me to answer this question? Because this is going to a never-ending stream of word vomit.

Honestly though, there’s a reason I’m an artist and not awriter, so coherency and eloquence will be null. Also note that I only feelthings without knowing why I feel it, and thus have an even tougher timepresenting my thoughts. This struggle is going to be evident.

1. Dazaisaves Atsushi

Atsushi’s troubles are evident from the start: poor boy getskicked out from an orphanage in which he had been abused in, completelydespises himself because of the abuse sustained there, almost starves to death,and now has to deal with this bunch of psychos called the Armed DetectiveAgency. Oh, and did I mention the turning-into-a-tiger thing? Not sure aboutyou, but that’s pretty hecking harrowing.

Dazai’s effect on Atsushi is clear: he literally gaveAtsushi a chance to live. Their meeting that day saved Atsushi from starving todeath, and he also brings him into the Agency and gives him a home. Dazaieffectively settles into the role of Suicide-Maniac-Senpai and guides Atsushi(and the plot) with his magical all-knowing ways.

2. Howmuch Dazai trusts Atsushi and how much he is willing to do for him

Atsushi has built his self-worth upon the things he does:this is evident from the Director’s words that have forever remained scarredinto his mind. I could go on and on about this point but to put it simply,Atsushi’s self-worth is unstable, especially given that his life in the Agencyis so volatile. This is apparent in two scenes:

Atsushi is devastated because hehas inflicted harm on Naomi and Haruno. He has hurt someone—the Director wasright—I don’t deserve to live. Atsushi visibly crumbles in that moment.

The Slap. I think some people might have been upset (?) thatDazai did this instead of lovingly sweeping a crying Atsushi into his arms andcomforting him. But Dazai is not just slapping him out of his thoughts. What Ihear in that moment is: I know what you’re thinking; don’t do this to yourself.Get out of this headspace. And thisis confirmed in Dazai’s next words:

No sugar-coating, no lovey-dovey schmuck, but an incrediblyvulnerable and sincere moment for Dazai. This is someone speaking from a roadonce taken. This is Dazai peeling away those layers of guardedness to bringAtsushi out of his snowballing. Dazai, who keeps his secrets behind his smilesand pranks and, even back in the Mafia, kept it behind the violence of his roleas an Executive.

This vulnerability, to me, shows nothing but 1) absolutetrust and 2) a desire to save Atsushi so strong that he would do anything

The second instance is one we probably all know: chapter 39.

(I reread this chapterto get the screencaps and I’m not crying you are dammit)

This time, the advice Dazai gives is even longer, and moreintimate. Note here that while his words in the Q scene were still ambiguous,Dazai here is baring the fact that he, too, struggled with a father-figure. Forsomeone like Dazai, I imagine this must have taken a huge amount of courage,and most importantly, trust. Hetrusts Atsushi enough to reveals these things to him, and cares for Atsushienough to put away his shields.

3.      Theeffect that Atsushi has on Dazai

This point is less based on canon and more viewed throughshipper goggles (which are glued to my face at this point).

There’s no canon explanation for why Dazai wants to commitsuicide (other than the tease in 55 minutes – screw you Asagiri), other thanwhat he reveals in Dark Era: “Things worth pursuing willalways disappear the moment before you get them. Nothing is worth prolonging apainful life to pursue.” (translations credited to @nkhrchy) I think wecan surmise that for whatever reason, Dazai has lost faith in life, or can nolonger see a reason to live.

Andthen here we have Atsushi, whose motto in life is to just live and eat ochazuke and be goddamned adorable, who is willing togive his life for people he’s barely met and throw himself over a bomb. Thiskid, contrary to other human beings, honest to God just wants to live. He is an antithesis to what Dazaiis, who wants to have a “neat and glamorous suicide”

ForDazai, I believe that Atsushi’s love for life is something he is greatly drawnto – after all, humans are drawn to people that have things they don’t. Forsomeone who has lived in the dark, who has lost sight of what it means to live,Atsushi is a beacon of light in his life, a sliver of hope, and Dazai findshimself (unconsciously?) reaching towards it to find and understand how Atsushi is what he is.

Ihave a lot more to blubber on about this point, especially about the parallelbetween Odasaku and Atsushi or how they are related in Dazai’s life in general,but my brain is fried and I think the above paragraph has already ceased tomake sense.

4.      Thereare parts of Dazai that only Atsushi sees

As Lea and I like to call it: the “Atsushi-kun-only smile”

I mean;

And then there’s the ‘Atsushi-kun-only look’:

I don’t have the coherency needed to elaborate on this.

5.      Namaeo Yobu Yo

Again, no need for explanation

6.      Officialartwork baiting the heck out of me

I’m sold.

On a more personal level, their dynamic and relationship fulfilsalmost everything I thirst for. Height difference? Check. Mysterious badass xcinnamon roll? Check. One character’s treating the other differently from howthey do to others? Check. Mutualsupport and growth? Hell fucking yes.

As for the part about not many fans shipping it, I suppose it’s because they don’t have a very obvious dynamic, or a dynamic that can be varied and put into different scenarios and AUs in fanwork. But hey, it’s kind of nice to be in a small fandom because you get to be closer to the other fans, and there’s just less negativity in general

If you made it through thiswailing-disguised-as-coherent-thoughts, I congratulate you. I’m also verysorry. Tl;dr: Don’t open this pandora’s box called my feelings because I cannotwrite to save my life (can you tell I’m ready for University?)

(Screencap Credits to @dazaiscans and egcscans)

[melodictouching]

To the guy who couldn’t lie to himself anymore

Please hear me out, like you used to. Pretend you still want to read my words or hear my thoughts, even just a little bit. Just one last time.

I know I will be fine without you. That is a fact, or a reality, if you will. I can tell myself this as many times as I want, but even if I know that I will be, this still hurts. So. Fucking. Badly.

What did I see in you? In retrospect, I truly don't believe I really got to know you. I know more than most, but not anything you didn't want to show. From what I knew, though: your family is absolutely wonderful; you are realistic in every aspect in your life, which helps with life-long goals and such; you are so god damned sweet—you knew how to make me feel better, you listened when I said what bothered me. You did care. But my issue, the thing that is keeping me up all night, driving me to destructive habits, hypnotizing me into going 90 in a 55 with a blank stare, is why that changed within minutes.

I’m not interested in writing more about what we talked about for hours, about why you decided that you can’t be friends with me and your friend at the same time, (even though now he and I are perfectly fine, again). I wrote you paragraph after paragraph responses to your questioning in an attempt to explain myself. Alas, it fell on deaf ears. You told me that everything I said sounded fake, that it didn’t sound 100% truthful. It was, but I could tell that you made your mind up. I wasn’t going to hold anything back—I told you the complete truth. I guess my view of the situation doesn’t matter. I guess what you did to me doesn’t matter.

Yeah, you can say that you just wanted to be friends with me, and I believed you these past two months. I believed that we could have been friends the rest of our lives and we both would’ve been okay. I would’ve been okay, I wouldn’t have been stuck on you like you assumed I was. However, some of the things you said to me at the beginning of these past 4 months were not things friends say to “friends”, at least I know you’re not that sweet or nice to your friends. I think maybe you realised that when I put some of our messages on Snapchat. I think you lost trust for me that day. But I was hurting.

I’m so sorry that I saw potential in you where you saw none. I’m so entirely sorry for putting you in this situation, truly, but you knew about it the entire time. You say yourself that you’re realistic, then why were you lying to yourself? How did it take less than 24 hours for you to completely despise me? Why won’t you answer my single question so that I can stop wondering and hating myself for all the reasons I can think of?

Like it or not, you were a huge part of my life. I know I was nothing to yours. Please just understand that what you did, it hurt me. It’s as simple as that, and I know you are smart enough to be aware of that, but I think you are too self-absorbed to truly care about how your actions affect myself and others.

You can hate me for simply being the cause of your friend’s pain, but I did NOT mean to cause any harm. It hurts to know that you think I did it on purpose, that he was just a pawn. But, if you really cared about him, if he’s really the main reason why you can’t be friends with us at the same time, then why wouldn’t you say something about it? Why did you never try to tell me to stop, why did you never try to leave before now?

I don’t know why things changed so quickly. I know you feel quite negative towards me, but honestly I truly do not understand where it came from. I wish you could tell me.

I will always love you, for sure. I guess I’m kind of glad you never said it back. I wish that I could erase all the things you’ve told and showed me from my memories, (’Statues’ comes to mind). It’s not fair that I’m left with remnants, and you are completely fucking fine. It’s not fair that you lied so easily, that you said this was hard for you too. It’s what you’ve wanted from the start, you never wanted me to try and come back into your life. I told you that I would lose you, and you said I wouldn't. You should have known, no?

I know I will be okay without you. I think I’m just sad over the lost potential, because that’s all it ever was; that’s all I ever saw. I just want someone exactly like you: all your knowledge, your ability to calm my storms, your stupid faces, our play arguments, your sweet words, thought out messages, excellent conversational skills, the way you looked at me, the way I never stopped being excited to see or talk to you, your confidence, the way you don’t care what people think, someone who can ask for a water at the window with ease cause we forgot when ordering.

But I also want someone who follows through on what they say, someone who doesn’t make excuses when it comes time to do something, someone who wants to talk to and see me as much as I do them, someone who doesn’t give up on me when I need them the most. Someone like you, but someone who actually cares all the time, not just when it’s convenient.

I know I will be okay, it’s not the fact that I lost you, just that you were a symbol of hope to me. You were a symbol that things get better, that there were still good people out there, that not every guy or person was shitty. I think this hurts because I never thought you would do anything like this to me, especially after knowing what I’ve been through. I thought fondly on the memory of you for three years, but now I’m not sure what to think. I’m not sure what happiness to hold on to anymore.

[grocio]

Maintain a healthy lifestyle through balanced diet-GrocioNoida.

Maintaining a healthy balanced diet is must for being healthy as it provides you with all the nutrients you require in your daily routine life. A healthy balanced diet covers all the nutrients that your body require like all kinds of vitamins, minerals, roughage, carbohydrates and proteins. Due to a hectic scheduled life of a human being no one has such time to maintain a healthy balanced diet routine. Almost 55-60% of people are vitamin and mineral deficient which later results in illness and diseases. To overcome all these factors we follow a balanced diet schedule. A balanced diet consists of the food which provides us with all the proteins, vitamins and minerals.

Now, many questions would arise in your mind while reading this paragraph like: how to maintain a healthy balanced diet?, what should we eat to gain/lose weight?, should we skip meals to lose weight?, should we eat more oil/ghee to gain weight? And many more questions like these and answers/suggestion to few of them is given below:

·        Make a daily habit of eating sprouts, almonds, early in the morning as sprouts are helpful to persons suffering from cardiovascular health problems, fights inflammation and lowers cholesterol level whereas almond helps to boost up your stamina and sharpen your brain.

·        Eat an apple daily to awake or make yourself feel fresh and it is also good to reduce weight, helps in lowering of sugar level and also a rich source to iron.

·        Eat cornflakes, oats and muesli in morning in order to lose weight as they consist of dietary fibres. These are a rich source of protein and contains vitamins like A and D and they are also considerably less saturated fat. In order to lose weight you can also take lemon and honey water as lemon acts as a natural antioxidant and removes extra fat from your body.

·        Make habit of taking only omega-3 fats which includes tuna, salmon, walnuts and flaxseeds.

·        Make a habit of eating more in breakfast, less in afternoon as compared to breakfast and least at night and try to eat salads, fruits and little snacks every time you take breakfast, lunch but at an interval of 2 hours.

·        Try not to skip your meals as it leads to gas formation and problems like headaches, stomach pain and also results in obesity.

·        Drink plenty of water in a day as much as you can. Water acts a natural detoxifier and helps in getting rid of all useless substances collected in our body. Drink at least  7-8 glass of water in a day. Water also has an impact to make your skin look young and make it glow.

·        Make a weekly timely table of eating nutritious food. Like, it will help in to what to eat on which day so that our body will not be deficient of any monosaccharides and disaccharides. Like maintain time table like this: on Monday eat green leafy farm fresh vegetables, pulses, chapati and brown rice whereas on weekend take meat/fish so that you make sure that body’s requirement is fulfilled with all kinds of sources it requires.

·        Consume only 25gm sugar a day otherwise it will lead to obesity and chubby cheeks, as sugar easily accumulates easily in the cheek region.

·        Exercise and Yoga is the key to a healthy being. Make habit of going for a walk daily early in morning. Exercise burns calories and boost up your stamina and helps you to stay active whole day.

 Don’ts

·        Avoid drinking/eating canned items. Soft drinks contains a high amount of sugar which leads to weight gain.

·        Do not eat stale food items as it also make your body unhealthy.

·        Do not make a habit of eating junk foods like chowmein, momos, chilly potato and other spicy foods.

·        Do not make a habit of consuming more butter and oily foods per day.

 Here, Grocio is the platform/online grocery store in Noida which believes in giving away fresh quality products and get them delivered at your doorsteps within 90 minutes. From here you can buy balance diet food items and we provide you free delivery above Rs.500.Some of the balanced diet items are:

1.      Cornflakes & Oats

2.      Milk

3.      Sprouts

4.      Almonds

5.      Farm fresh Vegetables & Fruits.

 Grocio also offers:

 Breakfast & Dairy:: Home & office Stationary:: Housekeeping:: Snacks & Beverages::fruits and vegetables::Personal Care::Baby Care::RTE & Frozen Foods

 You can visit us at www.grocio.in

Download Grocio App on Google Play Store. 

[circaverne]

ART FEST: 🎨UNI PLAYLIST🎨

Even the most liberal, free, unbound human being will in someway find themselves reluctantly agreeing with Mary Shelley as she writes in her novel Frankenstein "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change." For me, a liberally minded but very rooted individual (despite my dreams of being the kind of person who could settle down anywhere and find happiness) change is, indeed quite painful. Beginning university, moving to a city which is a 2 hour car ride or a 42 hour walk, to live with people who are complete and utter strangers, is a heck of a lot of change for my fragile and emotional nature. In order to combat the stress and utter desolation which I'm sure will follow me around for at least a month whilst I am figuring my new life out, I have created a playlist of songs which will hopefully get me through the year relatively unscathed.

1.       As the Romans Do by Theo Katzman

I had not heard of Theo Katzman until approximately three days before writing this piece, but it is actually this song which inspired the playlist. The first verse (particularly "I bid a fond farewell to my best-est friends / I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van/ I soared, like a sailor to the promised land")  matched my own situation so perfectly that I couldn't start this playlist with any other song.

It's perfect for jumping around playing air-guitar, dancing wildly in your room ignoring your problems and quietly humming to yourself whilst you hang posters on your wall. As a someone studying for a classical studies major and a minor in Latin, the lyrics of this song resonate deeply with me and make me smile uncontrollably. I'm not saying that it's a life-changing song with deeply chilling lyrics, but there's something about Theo promising me that I can build my own empire in less than a day as long as I "do as the Romans do" is somehow very inspiring.

 2.       Wild World by Yusuf / Cat Stevens

Who doesn't know this song? You can never remember where you first heard it, but you can't help but sing along when it somehow mysteriously enters your life again. For me, part of the reason that this song is on this playlist is for that nostalgic reason; it inspires some kind of fuzzy feeling in my body, a kind of calm safety, a remembrance that some things will always be the way I left them.

But more than that, the lyrics of this song remind me of my mother. I'm not sure if Cat Stevens knew my mother, or if somehow he wrote this song with my mother telepathically singing in his ear, but his sweetly sung warnings "remember there's a lot of bad and beware" and "you know I've seen a lot of what the world can do" are words taken directly from my mother's mouth. And while I often (read: always) roll my eyes and remind my mother that I'm practically senile and I don’t need constant reminders to be sensible, I don't think she'd truly be my mother if she didn't issue them. Wild World allows me to remember mum's words without having to have her on the phone 24/7.

 3.       My Sharona by The Knack

It doesn't in any way relate to my moving away from home. It doesn't remind me of home, of my family, of good times, or tell me that life will be okay. But there are very few songs which make me forget reality like this song. In fact, listening to it right now whilst writing this is difficult. I've had to stop for multiple dance breaks, replay the song twice, and even whilst typing I'm bouncing around in my chair. This song is the ultimate distraction; repetitive lyrics which are easy to sing along to, plenty of opportunities to let out excess emotion by shouting "WOO!" or crooning in the way only 70s rock allows you too, and the kind of guitar playing you simply can't sit, stand or lie still to. Whether I'm in my room, walking down the street, in the shower, cooking dinner, it doesn't matter. I will listen to this song at any time, in any place and it will never fail to take me out of whatever problem I find myself in for a glorious 4 minutes and 55 seconds.

 4.       L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. by Noah And The Whale

I love this song. I loved it the moment I saw the title. I loved it even more when I heard the lines "the barmen used to call her Little Lisa Loony Tunes / she went down on almost anyone". When I heard the chorus, I was lost. Maybe I have a secret, buried spelling/grammar fetish, maybe I just thought it was somehow unique, maybe I'm biased because I just love Noah And The Whale.

The reason that this song made its way onto this playlist (and, to be honest, almost every one of my playlists) is because of the chorus and the message of hope which it conveyed. "What you don't have now will come back again/ You got heart and you're going your own way". In times of insecurity and identity crisis, it's nice to be reminded that the universe will provide, and that staying true to yourself is worth it in the end. Yes, I'm studying a degree which many people have told me will lead nowhere. I don't drink alcohol. I don't wear "normal" clothes. I don't have to fit in to be accepted. L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

 5.       Superior by Sunday Sun

Some people might assert that my attraction to Sunday Sun is that they're Dutch (I, too, am Dutch) but quite surprisingly their nationality is not what inspired me to listen to their music. That was Spotify's Discover playlist. In fact I only just discovered that they were Dutch when I was researching something interesting about them to begin this paragraph with so you can imagine I am currently quite surprised that I have something in common with these 4 men.

Superior is a song from their latest album 'Live Out Loud' and it's a song which combines two of my favorite things; dancing and feelings of supremacy. The shyness I exhibited during primary school completely disappeared during high school, leaving me with a personality into which is infused a high dose of narcissism. But change, especially big change like moving away from home, tends to knock my self-esteem a little, so lines like "Girl I need you to say the word / We are superior" are essential to keeping my delicate sense of worth in balance.

 6.       What's Up by 4 Non Blondes

This is a song which I love for it's many screaming opportunities. The entire chorus consists basically of yelling. I find that vocalizing ones emotions through loud shouting is very cathartic, and who could possibly claim that the repetitive "Hey yeah yeah" of What's Up's chorus is not loud shouting or, consequently, very cathartic?

Other than the vocal aspects of this song, it also of course has lyrics which resonate with me. "And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed / Just to get it all out what's in my head" is basically my coping strategy for stress. Songs which capture my own experiences or habits in such a precise way often make their way into a Top Ten position on my playlists, hence its inclusion here. I imagine I will likely spend some time lying bed, crying, and potentially having 4 Non Blondes singer Linda Perry singing my situation at me might make it better.

 7.       London Bound by Lucy Spraggan

This song begins with an infusion of energy and doesn't give it up until the end. A pretty non-surprising pop song, the reason I chose this son (other than the continuous "woah-oh-oh"-ing) is the title of it. It's a reminder of my own goals and dreams; ideally, after doing my Bachelor I'd like to do an exchange to England to do postgraduate study. Even though I know I ought to just be concentrating on the present and not already living in the future through my imagination, I think it's good to keep your goals in mind. Maybe it'll make me study harder.

 8.       Live Life by Zayde Wølf

This song is a little less adrenaline-filled than the previous song. Zayde Wolf (apparently some kind of wolf/man hybrid) has the perfect smoky, ear-catching voice for a song encouraging one to live one's life. The lyrics of this song resonate deeply with me; "Sometimes I think that I'm a dreamer / The one that's standing all alone" describes me as a person, especially lately. I spend a lot of my life inside my own head, creating and shaping a reality which is pretty different and a lot softer round the edges than the reality I actually live in. It's a coping mechanism which stems from those days in primary school when I spent my time hiding from other kids and loitering around the staff room. Now it's escalated to a point where I spend more time dreaming. "What am I gonna do to feel like freedom's mine" is also quite appropriate seeing as I'm about to be hit with more independence than I'm used to, and taking control of it rather than letting it take advantage of me is probably a good strategy. Cheers, Zayde.

 9.       Music Makers by Seo Linn

This is, I think, the only song with foreign words making up at least half of the song and, surprisingly, it's not even a language which I know. It's Gaelic. This might sound like a pretty left-field language for me to throw in here, but I actually spent about 8 months on DuoLingo desperately trying to learn Gaelic. I don't have the self-discipline to actually continue with such a thing so it never really went anywhere, but I still love hearing it and attempting to sing along. Other than the Gaelic, I thought this song was appropriate for the chorus: "We are the music makers / We are the dreamers of dreams / We are the movers and shakers / Of the world forever it seems". It's a fun, upbeat reminder of our youth and of the fact that we, for the moment, are the rising stars of planet earth. If that's not empowering, I don't know what to tell you.

 10.   Sense of Home by Harrison Storm

This is a song which I've actually spent quite a lot of time listening to before and during creating this playlist, and it's only just now that I thought to include it. If it's not obvious by the name of the song, it's sort of about home and the people who make it home; family. When reading the lyrics, it seems to be about something quite sinister, but I haven't done any research to check what Storm actually wrote the song about. The first chorus, however, does deal with going away from home (probably not to go to college, but I'm willing to use imagination). It's a bit of a reminder that although you're far away from home, family and those you love are still there for you, and not to forget that in your new life.

 11.   This Must Be The Place by Iron & Wine, Ben Bridwell

I mean, what can I say about Iron & Wine other than that he's fan-fucking-tastic. A lot of artists pass through my consciousness within a month, appearing and disappearing from my playlists and long car trips with a kind of flippancy I usually reserve for people who act superior to me. Not Iron & Wine. 2017 marks the third year of his voice on my radio, and I'm having to admit that he's likely going to be there for years to come. There's something about his music early in the morning, a cup of coffee in one hand and sleep in my eyes, which just makes me smile. This Must Be The Place is originally a song by Talking Heads. The music has been slowed down a bit by Iron & Wine and Ben Bridwell, and whilst I usually prefer originals to covers, this is one song for which I make an exception. Other than being a particular favorite in general, it does deal with finding home in an unfamiliar place. There's my justification for it's place here. Not that Iron & Wine ever needs justification.

 12.   Divide & Conquer by Vandaveer

I'm fairly new to Vandaveer (which might be a surprise since there's two Vandaveer songs on this playlist) but I liked this song initially for it's name, which made me think of Julius Caesar for some odd reason. Perhaps because I've been watching Rome lately? Anyway, I was actually quite drawn to the rhythm and the unique voice on this track. The line "When you gaze out your window / Does it faze or envelope you?" made me smile because I thought it was thought-provoking. Staring out of windows is something people who are alone tend to be known for, and it is important that being alone doesn't immediately correspond to being lonely. It's alright to be comforted by your own company, to be alright with the world around you minus other human bodies.

 13.   Concerning Past & Future Conquests by Vandaveer

Yes, Vandaveer song #2! This one is a little more upbeat in rhythm (maybe not crazy club-dancing upbeat, but enough to wave your arms around in your dorm room I think). I think this is a time to think about how we got to where we are, as well as where we're going. And it is in our youth when, aided by arrogance, we get to say things like "I wanna have it all / I'm gonna have it all" and believe it. There's nothing wrong with that. It's healthy, I think. This song made me feel as though I can do anything I want, and that whilst there will be failures, there's always going to be some future conquest to worry about.

 14.   For Now by Kina Grannis

This song is gold. So much so that I have a poster of some of the lyrics hanging in my room (handmade). It's a song about the finite nature of our lives, the fragility of our race, the fact that things happen and will continue to happen with or without us. We could get depressed about it and wonder what the point of it all is (as one of the boys I knew last year constantly did) or we could accept that "We are the ones for now" and relish in the fact that for a short amount of time in our planet's life-span, we are the group of people who get to conquer, create, destroy and live. That's important.

 15.   Everything Unsaid by Joshua Hyslop

Everything Unsaid made it onto my playlist for the same reason as quite a few songs, I am now realizing; the simple fact that I love it. Joshua Hyslop has this voice which inspires feelings of simultaneous hope and melancholy, a mixture I have never experienced before. The song is a reminder, to me anyway, to be true to who you are and not allow society to make you into something or someone who you're ultimately ashamed of. It's a lesson we should definitely remember when moving into a group of strangers. It's easy to pretend to be someone you're not in order to fit in, but it's better to be who you are and find people who accept you for you, even if that takes longer. At the end of the day, as the lyrics say "Now all of these monstrosities, the choices I have made / They will not go away, I've made my bed and here I lay."

 16.   All That You Have Is Your Soul by Tracy Chapman

Tracy Chapman is some kind of goddess. I haven't heard a Tracy Chapman song I haven't loved. She's my go-to for late night listening, so I had to have her in this playlist. She's like an auricular journey home. I can close my eyes and listen to Tracy Chapman and there's this sense of safety, warmth and home there. It's a sense of nostalgia, I guess. It was hard to choose just one song because I love so many, but I thought the message "All that you have is your soul" was a humbling one to be reminded of this year. Of course, the story of the song is rather a tough one to which I cannot relate in reality, and I would never pretend to. But its still inspiring to hear of a kind of hope, even after a tough life.

 17.   Wonderful World, Beautiful People by Jimmy Cliff

I thought it best to end this playlist with something happy and peppy. This song definitely fits that bill. How could anyone listen to this song and not sway along in your chair? Other than the superficial beat to this song which would cheer anyone up, I believe, the lyrics of this are especially topical not just to me but to the world. I don't think I need to remind everyone that the world we live in is going through quite a tough time right now, with fear and hate conquering in many areas. It's important that we "Take a look at the world / And the state that it's in today / I am sure you'll agree / We all could make it a better way / With our love put together / Everybody learn to love each other / Instead of fussing and fighting / Cheating but biting / Scandalizing and hating / Baby, we could have a wonderful world, beautiful people". I know that's a lot of lyrics but now even if you don’t listen to the song, I've gotten my message across. And it's a message I would like to keep in the back of my mind whilst I'm in university and, indeed throughout the rest of my life.

 This playlist was composed by our Literature and Fiction editor Lesley as part of Circa Verne's ART FEST