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moody-alcoholic · 7 months ago

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Death in the family

I wrote the outline for a Simon x reader fic but it devolved into another Ghoap fic so I shelved it...

Why make them so shippable if they are not to be shipped?

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 4.2k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.

CW: talks of loss, grieving, funeral, nightmares, PTSD, assault, hurt/comfort.

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

Enjoy <3

You’re tied to a chair again, you can’t move blood drips down your face. You’re stripped to your underwear, sweat dripping down the back of your neck making you shiver. The room is cold goosebumps rise on your body as you rub your legs together for any kind of warmth. The sound of a door opening forces you to look up, you see Jack walk in. You let your head fall again, no point in looking at him, it does not matter what you say he’ll never believe you. His laugh fills your ears you try to ignore him.

“Your boyfriends were killed today.” He says, it’s like a stab to the heart, you don’t want to believe him. He clearly is not happy with your silent response rushing over to you and pulling your hair so you’re forced to look at him. He’s smiling at you.

“They tried to come and rescue you, and look what you did. You got them killed.” He spits in your face, letting your head fall again. Tears rush out you can’t stop them but you won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“I’ll never understand why you let love take over, they would still be alive if they just let you die.” You hear him walk over to you. You see his feet standing in front of you. He pulls your hair up again so he can look in your eyes.

“You’re no use to me now.” You feel the indescribable pain as a knife is thrust into your chest.

You wake screaming, hands grab your body. You try to fight as lights flick on in the room. You feel your arms pressed into your chest as arms wrap round you. You hear Simon’s voice then Johnny. You feel hands stroking your back, stroking your hair as Johnny rocks you in his arms. It was just a dream, just a stupid dream.

“Sorry,” you say catching your breath.

“It’s okay love, you’re okay.” Johnny says not letting you go. You hear Simon get out the bed. You feel bad for waking them up now it just makes you sad.

“You were dead. In my dream.” You sniff into Johnny’s chest.

“Yeah? Well I’m still here ain’t I?” Johnny says as he loosens his grip on you. You hear the toilet flush as Simon comes back in the room. You put off sleeping for as long as you could, you didn’t want to slip back into the nightmares you’d been having, especially once you were home. You were kind of hoping and praying that the bad dreams would stay in Syria, but when you nodded off on the flight home you could already see the flashes of memories coming back to haunt you. It’s just temporary, you’ll be fine in a few weeks. You try to convince yourself it’s not PTSD. This is just a normal reaction to what happened to you it’s like a knee-jerk trauma response, you had a bad time with Jack and now your best friend is dead. You let out a sigh watching Simon move back into the bed as Johnny lets you go. You lean back on the pillows wiping your eyes, Simon reaches over pulling you down on his chest. You hear his heartbeat as Johnny turns the light off snuggling up behind you.

“You need to talk to someone.” Simon says quietly, kissing your head.

“After the funeral, I promise.” You say, you know it’s a lie, you won’t see a shrink until you’re ordered to see one. No point in risking a medical discharge over a few stupid nightmares. You close your eyes taking a deep breath in. You just have to get through tomorrow, as soon as that is over things can start to get back to normal. Besides what's the worst that can happen, it’s a funeral after all.

——————————

It’s raining of course it is, typical British weather, typical funeral weather. This feels wrong, you’re going back to Chloe’s house but there is no Chloe. The invites had been sent via e-mail, no use in wasting the good invites on her. The ‘burial’ was held privately, Chloe’s mum would not want to be embarrassed at the fact it was not a military funeral. I’m sure she was shocked at her daughters request to be cremated instead of buried, not that she would have been given the privilege to be buried in the family plot. That was for soldiers. There were no butlers on the door this time, you let go of Johnny’s arm to reach up and ring the doorbell. A few seconds later someone opens the door, you look through to see Chloe’s mum and dad stood in the foyer. You walk in wiping your feet on the mat before going over to them.

“Oh sergeant we’re so glad you could make it.” Chloe’s mum comes over giving you a hug. There are tears drying on her cheeks as she holds a handkerchief in her hand.

“She had so few friends we’re glad there is someone she would know.” You hold your tongue, the reason so few of them are here is because Chloe would rather tell people she had no family then introduce people to her real one. You break away from the hug and force a small smile.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” You say. It’s the standard response, you don’t have anything to say to her family, you’re here for Chloe. Her mother turns her attention to Johnny.

“Oh I remember you, SAS, MacTavish?” She says dabbing her dry cheeks. Johnny nods. Of course she remembers Johnny but couldn’t tell you which hospital her daughter worked at.

“There are drinks in the drawing room, help yourself.” She points over to the open door in the foyer. You walk with Johnny hearing classical music spilling out the room. As you enter a butler offers you a drink you take one off the tray thanking him. You look around the room, some people you recognise some you don’t it’s mostly family, you can pick out her brothers from a mile away, they have the same blonde hair. They’re the only ones in the room who look like they don’t want to be here, almost like their sisters death is an inconvenience. You finish your drink going over to the open guest book on the table putting the empty glass down.

“We can leave if you want?” Johnny whispers as you pick up a pen. You shake your head, you have to be here. You look at the page not knowing what to write, it’s already filled with messages of condolences, all the same generic few phrases. Notes of sympathy from people who didn’t even know her personally, who are just here to support her family. You want to write something that matters but you don’t know what to say. Your hand hovers over the page as you think about her. Her smile, the way she was always so bubbly, how she got you through nursing exams, you would stay up late together studying. How she was so headstrong, so sure in what she was doing, stubborn as all hell. You remember the look on her face when you said you were joining the army, how she shouted at you and didn’t talk to you for a week.

‘Yeah well I hope you die on the front lines!’ She snapped.

‘Clo, don’t be like this, the pay and the benefits that’s all it is. I don’t want to be stuck in a hospital all my life.’ You said from the other side of the door.

‘Why’d you become a nurse then?’ She says quieter, you hear her sniffles.

‘I want to help people.’ You reply.

That was the night she came clean about her family, told you all about her ‘other life’ as she called it sometimes. She stayed over at your flat for the whole week, until you had to leave for basic. You feel Johnny’s hand on yours, you look down you haven’t written anything but you feel horrible. You put the pen back, maybe you can’t put it into words yet. Johnny takes your hand and leads you away from the table. You squeeze it looking up at him.

“What’s your favourite memory?” He asks.

“When we used to work night shifts together, she would always find a way to make them fun.” You say leaning up against him. He wraps his arm round your waist as you see Chloe’s mother come into the room. She’s still dabbing her face as she makes her way to the centre of the room accepting a drink off the tray when it is bought to her. People gather around her as she nods, thanking them for coming, she then takes a sip of her drink and clears her throat as Chloe’s dad comes to stand next to her. She starts giving a speech but you’re only partially listening, she talks about how well Chloe did in med school, finishing almost top of her class and landing a job at the Royal. You can hear her trying her hardest to seem impressed with it, she looks round the room and her eyes meet yours.

“She always had such a zest for life, in the people she knew and the way she chose to live. Some would say a troubled child, she especially since showed no interest in the military.” There it was the sly comments as the room chuckles. You sigh taking another drink off the tray as the butler walks by. You look round the room, You don’t want to be here anymore. You wonder if you could find her old room? Maybe she would have some memories tucked up in there, would definitely be better then this shit.

“C’mon.” You say gently pulling Johnny and slipping out the room. You put your drink down on a table and head for the stairs.

“Where are we going?” Johnny asks as you lead him.

“I want to find her room, I just need, closure.” You say, he nods. You can’t remember where her room was exactly, you start peaking through doors down the long corridor.

“Do you know where it is?” Johnny asks following you.

“I think so it’s been years since I’ve been up here.” You look through another door into a lush office, you’re about to close the door when something catches your eye. You go in the room without even thinking heading over to the desk with papers strewn all over it.

“Chloe had interesting taste.” Johnny says looking round the room. You ignore him picking up a folder and opening it.

“Johnny come look at this.” You say as you flick through it, it’s pages of information, with pictures of Johnny, Price, Gaz even some of you. It was a photo of Johnny that caught your eye.

“What the fuck.” He says taking the folder out your hands. You look back over at the desk there are more papers, some in Arabic, pictures of weapons and artillery, medical supplies and closed crates of God knows what. You pick up one of the photos.

“This is from the base I was at in Syria, this is the store room.” You say as you turn the photo over there is a date and a time written on it.

“This was 3 days ago.” You say showing Johnny, he comes over and starts thumbing through the papers.

“Watch the door.” He says taking the photo out your hand. You nod and move to the door cracking it open slightly so you can see down the hall. Johnny takes his phone out and starts snapping photos. You look back every now and then as Johnny is moving with careful efficiency, making sure to move everything back to the place it was. You look back down the hallway, you can hear voices on the stairs.

“Johnny!” You call trying not to shout. He nods putting his phone away as you slip out the door just before you hear the voices turn the corner. Johnny pulls you into a room closing the door behind him.

“Do you think they saw us?” You whisper. He puts his hand up to shush you as he listens.

“I don’t think so.” He says moving away from the door. You look round the room, this is Chloe’s room. You go over to sit on her bed, it looks like most of the furniture has been moved out and the room has been stripped of all its personality. You run your fingers over the bedding. It’s just a guest room now, you suspect it has been for a few years.

“You okay?” Johnny asks stepping over to you. You sniff the tears away, all you can do is nod. You look up at him his fingers stroke your cheek.

“Mind if I have a few minutes?” You ask, he nods.

“I’ll meet you back downstairs?” He asks, you nod in reply. He reaches down and plants a kiss on your forehead then walks out the room closing the door behind him. You get up going to the dresser and pulling on the small lopsided drawer, you smile at yourself when you can’t open it. Most people would think it was jammed, her parent’s and sisters defiantly did. You reach into your pocket taking a card out your purse. You shimmy it between the drawer in the spot you remember Chloe showing you years ago. The drawer clicks open and you can pull it out just a few centimeters you reach in and pull out a letter, a half pack of cigarettes and a lighter. You smile, you close the drawer as it clicks back into it’s broken state. You put the items in your pocket and go to leave the room. Now you just want to go home.

You’re walking down the hallway as you hear a door open, before you can do anything you’re shoved up against a wall.

“What the fuck!” You shout sick of people pushing you up against things. Your chest is pressed up against the wall your arm twisted behind your back, your broken rib sending shooting pains up your body you have to squeeze your eyes shut. You can’t see who it is behind you but they’re strong.

“What the hell are you doing up here?” He spits. “Have you been snooping in places you shouldn’t?” It’s Mark one of Chloe’s brothers.

“Let me go, for fucks sake!” You reply fear rising in your chest, you don’t like this, you don’t like being held down. You’re not even paying attention to what he’s saying, your breathing gets quicker you’re starting to panic. Your eyes dart around looking for a way out or Johnny, anything to get out of this situation, you’re not even listening to him talk. You’re starting to loose track of reality his hands pinning your shoulders down you’re back in that room being tied to the chair Jack up in your face-.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing!” The arms leave your body you see Johnny, you let out a breath, blinking to make sure he’s real. You start walking over to him as you pat yourself down.

“I was saying good-bye to Chloe, not that you really care Mark.” You manage to say as you reach Johnny. He wraps his arms around your waist and you pull him to the stairs, you don’t stop walking you just want to get out of here. Mark doesn't follow you, he doesn’t say anything. You see Chloe’s mother on the way out, luckily you can play the tears off as grieving, not the fact that now every step is like a knife driving into your rib-cage. Thank God you never have to come back to this place.

——————————

When you make it to the flat you ignore Simon and Johnny making your way straight out to the balcony. You feel like shit physically and mentally, there is a cool breeze now as the rain has stopped and the sun is peaking through the clouds for the last few hours of daylight. You reach into your pocket pulling out the packet of cigarettes and the lighter. It’s old almost empty with stickers all over it. You’re not even sure it’s going to work but when you try it the flame springs to life. You take a cigarette out lighting it between your fingers. You don’t smoke, so this is the best Chloe is going to get from you. You open the letter next, you look at the date on the top. 14th of June, the day of the party, you can’t help but scoff.

‘To whoever finds this but most likely Ashe.

Remember that night we had the 3 car RTC come in to A&E? It was one of our first shifts as qualified nurses. We had no idea what we were doing and were just going with the flow which meant a lot of stitches and hand holding. I remember everyone who died that night and they all died without getting to say goodbye. I remember when you told me about how it’s common for people in the army to write letters for their loved ones if they die.

I was never worried about you dying, you’re too much of a pussy for that. Okay that was rude I’m drunk. I thought when you joined the army you would become a massive bitch, like everyone else in my life who sold their soul for queen and country.

Anyway, I wanted to write a letter for you in-case I get the bright idea of joining the army and forget about it. Or I don’t know my crazy family finally get the bright idea that their life would be easier without the black sheep (that’s me by the way not David… cos David’s black…oh you’ll understand.)

OOOO don’t let my family bury me in that depressing family plot it’s stupid I don’t want it, make them throw my ashes in a forest or something. Isn’t that what people do right they want their ashes spread in the sea or in a forest? The sea is scary full of sharks and shit.

I’m very drunk. My mum is driving me crazy I counted how long before she made one of her comments. 3 MINUTES, SHE COULDN’T EVEN WAIT. ‘Hello sweety, I can’t wait for the day I see you in dress uniform.’ WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!!!

The next party I’m coming in scrubs!!

I hope you miss me when I’m gone, what would you do without all this juicy drama?

And you’re not allowed to die okay, if you’re reading this and I’ve kicked the bucket you’re not allowed to die leave the army and spend all your time fucking Johnny. He is fit if you don’t want him I’ll take him.

I can’t even remember what I was going to say now. Just don’t die!!.

Chloe

PS: I had the biggest crush on you in uni.'

“Hey, you want some space?” You look up at the door through tear filled eyes, you can’t tell if it’s because of the letter or the cigarette smoke. Simon’s standing there. You shake your head looking back down at the letter. He walks over to sit next to you picking the packet of cigarettes up.

“Smoking?” He says taking one out putting it between his lips.

“They were Chloe’s, the same packet she hid from her parent’s when she still lived with them. She was convinced they were lucky or something, since she never got caught with them.” You explain folding the letter up watching the ash fall off the end of the cigarette. You let the butt fall out your hand onto the floor. You hear Simon light the cigarette as he coughs.

“Fucking hell.” He says looking at you, you can’t help but smile as he looks at the cigarette in disgust.

“They are over 10 years old.” You say. He shakes his head. You turn the letter over in your hands.

“What did it say?” He asks, you shrug.

“She told me not to die.” You wipe the tears away as Simon’s arm comes round your shoulder pulling you up against him. You rest your arm across his stomach as he takes another puff of the cigarette. You just sit there in silence until he’s finished, flicking the end on the floor.

“She seemed like a good person.” Simon says after a while. You nod, she was.

“Why did you ask if she had key’s to my place?” You ask eventually.

“She was killed a street away from your place, I remember when I dropped her off after the party she lived on the other side of the river.” He says. You sigh, why does that matter? She could have been killed in your flat, where it happened isn’t important. You shiver feeling the cold.

“Come on, lets go in, Johnny insisted on cooking.” You move as Simon goes to stand up he holds out his hand for you and you take it picking up the packet of cigarettes on the way. When you get inside it already smells good. Johnny is in the kitchen chopping something with his back to you but turns when hears the door close, he smiles then turns back to his chopping.

“What you cooking?” You ask.

“Shepherds pie!” Johnny calls back.

“Need a hand?” You ask heading to the kitchen.

“Sure, you can fry the meat.” Johnny says looking at you smiling.

“In a second.” Simon says grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the kitchen. He takes you to the bedroom turning the light on and going to the dresser kneeling down and pulling the bottom drawer out completely. You can’t see inside very well, you move to look but he’s already up on his feet. Simon hands you a pistol, you look up at him confused. It’s heavy in your hands, you pull the barrel back checking if it’s loaded, it’s not. He passes you a mag you take it in your other hand.

“Know how to use it?” He asks, watching you load the mag.

“I haven’t shot a weapon since basic.” You say chuckling nervously, and even then it was in a controlled environment.

“Quick refresher then, basics, never…” Simon looks at you to continue.

“Put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to fire.”

“Always..”

“Be sure of your target and look beyond it.”

“Never..”

“Leave a weapon unattended.”

“Always..”

“Unload the weapon when not in use.” You say as you unload it. It feels wrong holding it in your hand. Where did they even get it from? This is very illegal. ‘With what happened, you’re under our protection.’ You remember what Price said, what did you need protecting from? Something felt wrong you think back to the office today, to all the paperwork and files on you, 141, the base. You hand it back to Simon.

“We’ll take you to the range tomorrow get you some practice in.” He says bending down to put it back and sliping the drawer back in. He stands up brushing a strand of hair out your face as you just gawk at him.

“Should I be worried?” You ask. He shakes his head.

“It’ll make us feel better, knowing you have something if we’re not here.” He’s being cryptic, and he didn’t answer your question. You shake it off, you’ve been through too much today, you just want to relax.

“Got any other surprises under there?” You ask as his hands find your waist and he leads you out the room chuckling.

“We keep the C4 in the bathroom, Johnny makes such a mess when he’s playing around with it.” Simon says as you walk back to the kitchen. You can’t tell if he’s joking or not. He has to be joking right? You go stand next to Johnny watching him scrape chopped onions and carrots in a pan. You kiss him on the cheek, he didn’t have to come to the funeral today, but honestly you’re glad he did.

“Feeling better?” He asks.

“Feeling hungry.” You reply as the smell of the onions frying hits your nose.

“Good because I’m making a big portion. How ‘bout you get started on those spuds.” He smiles you nod. Simon opens the fridge taking out a beer.

“Yes please!” Johnny calls as soon as Simon cracks it open, he sighs handing the beer to Johnny and going back in the fridge. You smile picking up a potato. Maybe you were just overthinking everything. You remind yourself you just had to get through today, the worse was over now you can try and heal, if that’s even possible.

Next Part

I really didn't know how to end this one I was hungry when I finished writing it and honestly I could have kept going for ages...

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magicwhiskers29 · 5 months ago

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Been dwelling on this for a while now, but aro Kabru is soooooooo interesting to me

Like, he's this guy who's often called a lady killer and whatnot by his friends because of his charms, but his intentions behind those are entirely nonromantic, and he even seems to have a kind of clinical view on romance, at times.

When he smiles at people and winks, he's trying to come across as friendly and approachable, not flirty. Because he's deeply fascinated with people, but in a like, wants to study them under a microscope kind of way. His party jokes a lot about him being a hit with women, but we never see him attempt to actually romance anyone. It's his facade that he wants to use on just about everyone, because he wants to be liked so he can be close to people and be able to immerse himself in other people's lives.

A lot of people criticise him for the casual way he treats Rin, with romantic gestures, whilst his canon stance on her is that he sees her like a sister. To my knowledge, it's unclear if he knows she likes him, but this is Kabru, so it's not unreasonable to assume that he's deduced as much. And yet he kisses her just to stop her casting anyway. It's such a clinical procedure. Kabru sees it as the most efficient and safe way to stop her, so he goes for it. And yeah, they both look like monsters to each other, but he so casually kisses a girl he probably knows has romantic feelings for him who he views as just like a sister.

It's not a big deal to him because he doesn't feel that way about her. Maybe won't feel that way at all. His perspective on romance is consistently like looking through a window, just studying other people's views on it, because it doesn't mean much to him.

When he edits Mithrun's backstory for Laios, he cuts out lots of what he sees as complicated, both out of respect for preserving Mithrun's privacy, but also just to make it simple enough for Laios, who has so little interest in human matters or motivations, to understand. And he centres it on a tragic love story! He thinks that Mithrun's love for a woman, and his jealousy over his brother having her interest instead, is a good, simple core motive. Romance is just a plot device to simplify and explain Mithrun's past motivations. Romance to Kabru is just another facet of people to study, something that makes them do things, and something that paints a broader picture of them.

It's a pretty detached view. He's a very shippable guy for a lot of fans (and for a lot of characters in story too, haha) but he's also someone whose idea of romance is just another thing to be studied. He's guy who does a lot of romantic or flirty things, whilst seemingly having no interest in romance for himself at all!

He doesn't feel romantic attraction, but it fascinates him anyway

#i mean absolutely zero ship hate with that part about calling out his shippableness btw #I think Kabru is very aro but im also something of a kabumisu girly and qpr is sooooo interesting to me too #Maybe I'll have to write a post about that someday too #This is a very headcannony analysis #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #kabru #kabru of utaya #kabru dungeon meshi #aromantic #whiskers rambles

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chipperchemical · 16 days ago

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here's a headcanon for most Skizz ships to prove my theory that he is the most shippable man to ever exist

Bdubs/Skizz - Skizz pampers the HELL out of Bdubs. giving him random gifts, constant PDA, always letting him steal his clothes. (you know how when cats lick and clean rabbits, both the rabbit and the cat think they're the dominant one in the exchange? yeah. that's them.)

BigB/Skizz - they have the strangest uncle vibes you've ever seen. they'd show up to the gathering with homemade desserts, forget everyone's names twice, refer to each other as "roommate" while wearing wedding rings, and leave with the bowl of Doritos. cryptid couple.

Etho/Skizz - as they lay together, they'll both trace each other's scars oh-so-gently with their fingers. sometimes they'll trail kisses down them. Etho isn't much of a touch person, so Skizz treasures these rare moments when they're so intimate.

Scar/Skizz - they have watched the entirety of the Star Wars franchise about three times by now. Skizz still isn't really sure what it's about because Scar likes to ramble over the dialogue with trivia about each individual scene, but he prefers it that way anyway.

Grian/Skizz - it's pretty common to see them both up in the air, having a flying competition. Grian is objectively much better: he can swoop and curve and dive with such elegance, while Skizz can barely change direction without a bit of stumbling. they're both too competitive to give in though, and it's just so much fun! so far, the score is 82 - 0. (and hey, if all that flying exhausts them both so that they get home and cuddle until they sleep, then bonus!)

Impulse/Skizz - Skizz always seems to know when something is bothering Impulse, to the point where he'll fly across the server to see him because he "just had a bad feeling". it's always correct, and Skizz always makes sure to comfort Impulse.

Martyn/Skizz - they make each other laugh SO hard. it's rare to see them not smiling around each other because of how much chemistry and banter they have. absolute chaos bringers.

Mumbo/Skizz - Skizz can very easily pick Mumbo up as if he weighs nothing. if they're together, Mumbo barely gets the chance to walk anywhere because Skizz just loves carrying him bridal-style to various places. sometimes Skizz will even have Mumbo in one arm and another hermit in the other just to show off; Mumbo finds it quite handsome.

Pearl/Skizz - Pearl makes Skizz bouquets of flowers as random gifts, "just cause!". he keeps all of them in a vase in his base, keeping them until they're wilted and dying until she gifts him a new one. occasionally he'll put a flower in his suit pocket when they go out, to match with one in her hair.

Ren/Skizz - they're constantly play-arguing about who's the better lover, who's better at flirting, etc. they will only stop when Skizz pulls Ren in for a kiss so he physically can't argue back.

Scott/Skizz - they're all softness and sweetness. Skizz will talk to Scott in a softer voice than usual, making sure he bundles up warm or has a hearty breakfast; Scott laughs and pushes him away ("I don't need you mothering me!"), but he does find it quite endearing to not be so independent for once. bonus: they're totally like parents to the rest of the group. they've grounded Jimmy twice.

Joel/Skizz - the MOST competitive couple on the server. if they're going somewhere, it's a race; if they're flirting, it's a challenge; they are just non-stop. at first, Skizz tried to reign in Joel's competitiveness a bit, but it's just so much more fun to make everything into a playful competition. they are the reason Uno was banned at the group hangouts.

Jimmy/Skizz - refer to themselves as "jizzle" when together. they enjoy the sheer rage and disappointment that it's always met with.

Tango/Skizz - they are the MOST PDA couple you will EVER see. Tango is constantly calling Skizz handsome, hanging off of him, gently biting him on the arm; likewise, Skizz always has an arm around Tango, squeezing his cheeks as he tries to talk, pressing kisses all over his face and arms. it's sickeningly sweet.

Cleo/Skizz - they're both so chaotic but in such different ways: Cleo is one annoyance away from setting fire to someone while Skizz is one funny idea away from setting fire to himself. sometimes they have to reign each other in, but most of the time Cleo is burning down a building and Skizz is cheering them on from the sidelines. he brings little cheerleader pom-poms.

Zedaph/Skizz - they are banned from the kitchen after trying to make instant noodles in the coffee machine <3

#some of these aren't great but it's part of my secret plan to hear more skizz headcanons from you guys #skizzleman #grizzleman #skizzpulse #mumskizz #snowangel #jizzleman #skizzidarity #skizzango #skizzedaph #those are all the ship names i know #trafficshipping #trafficshipblr #hermitshipping #hermitshipblr #chipper og posts #short ideas

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prolibytherium · 2 years ago

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sorry this is about IASIP because no shit I've been binging it and I love observing fandoms and it is such the perfect encapsulation of this

IASIP on tumblr is people very sure that the series is basically a slow burn romance heading tiowards a confirmed and central Mac/Dennis relationship. IASIP on reddit involves people very sure it's a slow burn heading towards Dennis being unveiled as a serial killer. To be fair both are absolutely deliberately invoked, mostly as running gags, but also both are soooooo not anywhere near the central focus of the show

tumblr fandoms and reddit fandoms are different in many ways but they share a commonality in many people having a dominating and singular focus on one very small aspect of the show (on tumblr it's almost invariably a ship, reddit tends to get more creative but is still often very obnoxious)

#I would be really annoyed if they made the Dennis serial killer thing canon because it's funny as kind of the running gag #and jiust for characterization being someone so depraved and malicious and so fucking weird and fucked up that he ABSOLUTELY looks like a #serial killer. he totally could be a serial killer. But that would be ruined by making him a confirmed serial killer.#I'm on season 13 and mostly am unspoiled so maybe speaking out of turn but I have done Investigations.#Havent been really ‘spoiled’ but I think I would have seen posts if either thing happened.#I think this trend varies and it's not always just One thing but it's usually a selection of a few focuses #Like I've also spent the past year wtaching breaking bad and better call saul on repeat in an endless loop and #spent a lot of time on their subreddits during my tumblr hiatus.#for both of them reddit is SO hyper focused on fighting over the moralities of the characters in this incredibly sanctimonious way #like over who is the worst. shit like 'well skylar helped walt so she's basically just as bad'#'it doesnt matter if jesse is kind at heart he killed a guy and gave drugs to addicts and sells meth which kills people' yeah no shit its a #crime drama you dumbass. All the major characters are at least 'morally gray' . fucker #'guys kim and jimmy are actually horrible why did thy do that' no shitttt #BCS tumblr has multiple areas of focus but still highly predictable tumblr areas of appeal #(guy people call 'poor little meow meow'. 'girlboss/malewife' relationship. two attractive dudes who are in conflict with each other and on #is basically the hostage of the other and attempting to escape and tries to have him killed. Therefore shippable.)#Idk what the fandomy breaking bad fans do on tumblr I havent really looked. I dont want to know what theyre shipping in there #OK i think i made another version of this post like yesterday but whatever. End Post

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fanby-fckry · 10 months ago

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You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻🖤 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #radiodust #radiohusk #radiorose #radiofemme #radiostatic #onewaybroadcast #fanby’s fuckery #osha violation #suggestive

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problematic-faves-appreciation · 2 months ago

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Shipping Asks

I couldn't find the original post anywhere, so I had to extract the questions from here.

1. What was your first OTP?

2. What is your current OTP?

3. Do you have any OT3/OT+ ships? What are your favorites?

4. What is/are your favorite trope(s)?

5. What is/are your least favorite trope(s)?

6. Do you have a certain kind of ship you’re more attracted to?

7. Are most of your ships “pure” or “problematic”?

8. Who is the most shippable person you can think of?

9. Are there any fandoms you don’t have any ships for?

10. Do characters have to have canon interactions for you to ship them?

11. What makes a great ship in your own opinion?

12. What drives you away from a ship?

13. Is there anything you ship but refuse to interact with the community for?

14. Has a fanbase ever made you ship or not ship something? Why?

15. Do you like/participate in ship wars? Why or why not?

16. Are there any ships you just can’t/don’t understand? What are they?

17. Are there any popular ships that you just don’t like? What are they?

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship?

19. Do you prefer fluff, angst, or smut for your ships?

20. Do you prefer bigger fanbases or smaller ones?

21. Have you ever received hate for a ship you liked?

22. Do you have any ships that you ship, but would never want to see as canon?

23. Have you ever had a ship become canon, but you didn’t like how it was portrayed?

24. What is your favorite canon ship?

25. What are your favorite ships from a dead fandom?

26. What are your favorite shipping scenes?

27. What are your views on reader x canon ships?

28. What is your best shipping advice?

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)?

30. What are some of your favorite shipping blogs?

#shipping #ask game #fandom #fandom games

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bengiyo · 9 months ago

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We Are Sucks, and BL Will Be Worse When This Succeeds

We Are the series, the latest empty drivel from New Siwaj, has crossed a line for me that I cannot abide. This show is nothing more than loosely connected setups for BL moments that are easy to gif or clip for maximum virality, designed to fulfill a financial obligation to iQIYI and otherwise keep the B- and C-tier BL pairs occupied with work. This show is saying nothing about the human condition with any verve, and there is no queer subtext or text to pull from any of these characters that the viewer isn’t already bringing to the table.

I had stopped writing Stray Thoughts for this show because it doesn’t really have much of a plot or story to tell, but I am not going to be able to continue this show past episode 5. This show is the BL equivalent of a cumshot compilation. It is designed exclusively as fap material to coo over known BL pairs smiling at each other. I was chatting with @twig-tea yesterday about how after five episodes we still don’t really have anything resembling an arc for these characters and how it’s just a bunch of BL dudes hanging out. Twig described it as “disingenuous to [even] call it a show” and “...a bunch of compatibility workshops strung together.”

I hate this so much. There is no story being told here. This is like watching actor reels on IG or TikTok. There is nothing here to hold onto other than your baseline fondness for the cast. There was a moment in episode 5 that felt completely unscripted between Aou and Boom that felt like Boom reacting to being teased by Aou and not a moment between their characters. They didn’t even let Aou’s character confess the specificity of his feelings because they don’t matter to this show! It doesn’t matter why he likes Boom’s character! Just that he does! Why does Boom’s character respond so positively to these feelings? Why didn’t he take initiative on his own before? What changed at all? What’s the goddamn story here? There’s nothing! We just make it up and enjoy the smiles.

I usually don’t want to bitch about shows I don’t like extensively on here, and I especially don’t like spamming tags with negative commentary or musing on shows. However, there are 11 more episodes of this empty nothing, and 30 more episodes of New Siwaj trash on the horizon. He has become the GMMTV BL Babysitter, and I am horrified by what this means for the genre. I try to stay patient with New because usually he captures some form of gay melancholy or angst in his shows, but there is none of that here in We Are. All of these characters know each other and are basically just hanging out for about an hour of TV.

I worry about stuff like this being good enough to monetize. There’s nothing interesting for me in this experience with a queer lens. There is no real story being told, and caring about any details as if they matter leads to questioning the integrity of the characters (are we really doing a slave narrative in a college BL again?). It feels like the end product of giving up on chasing ratings and only chasing virality to monetize the talent for ad spots, concerts, fan meets, and merch. No longer do we even need to make stories about compelling romances between men. We just need to get passably attractive boys on screen together and just ask them to smile.

What does it mean for the genre if GMMTV goes another step forward with this and no longer brings any robust writing to the BL table. Are we satisfied with BL as glorified slideshows of shippable actors? What happens when GMMTV is able to easily milk this over other robust productions? Is this just the filler fluff to keep people engaged with the network between their solid projects to prove their bonafides? BL has always struggled with depictions of queerness, but are we at the point where we don't even try to tell stories that even feel queer? Is just simply putting boys next to each other enough? I don’t like this at all, and it unsettled me as I watched five episodes of We Are only to feel nothing.

I am always half-joking about being over New Siwaj, but I really am at this point.

#Ben writes #we are the series

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wholahoop · 17 days ago

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Writing Interview

Thanks to the excellent @xalandrix, @lqtraintracks and @saintgarbanzo for tagging me! ❤️

how many works do you have on ao3? 61 (though I think technically it's only 59, as I'm pretty sure I still have double versions of a couple of old Yuletide exchange fics back when they moved the collections over to AO3)

What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,242,791

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

A big hello to most of my hd_holidays and Erised fics, lol!

Tea and No Sympathy (52k 😮)

Written on the Heart

The Sleeping Beauty Curse

The Potter-Malfoy Problem

Star Quality

(My remaining hd_hols and erised fics are numbers 6 and 7, haha)

Do you respond to comments? uh, sometimes? I usually respond to comments that come in shortly after I've posted. Otherwise, I tend to have a burst of energy every now and then and leave a heap of replies that can be summarised as "lol this is 3 years late, but thanks for your comment ilu!!!" I've caught up on comments on everything, pretty much, apart from my four H/D longfics. I probably won't go back and reply to everything on those, because I suspect it would take me a full working week 😅

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? My ends range from happy to extremely, extremely happy, haha. Even the one fic that has an open ending I view as happy, because it leaves the characters in a really good place where it's pretty obvious (to me, at least!) that everything is going to go beautifully well.

Oh! I did write an origfic take on the Bluebeard fairytale once, Jam Tomorrow, which has a less straightforward ending? This is the only time I've ever tried second person pov, and it's a more experimental/literary-style fic than is usual for me. I was really happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? What a difficult question 😂 For non-H/D, I'd say Best Nightmare Come True (SK8, matchablossom) lingers the most in the afterglow, and I think Kyoya Ootori's Guide to Self-Deception for Fun and Profit (Ouran High School Host Club, Kyoya/Haruhi) is pretty lovely.

For H/D, I'd say either Star Quality or The Sleeping Beauty Curse. Though I only exclude Written on the Heart, haha, because the ending is a bit rushed - I think it works well enough and I'm not unhappy with it, but if I hadn't been writing to a deadline oh god I was so late then it might well have been 30k longer, with more aftermath of them fixing the spell.

Do you write crossovers? I was going to say no, but I remembered I did write one once! And Then It Bit Him, a Harry Potter/Petshop of Horrors crossover for the amazing painless_j, who was a really respected and influential reccer back in the day. I think it has Snape's animagus form being a worm 😂

I haven't reread Petshop of Horrors, for years! It's a light horror manga series, with a Japanese nature god, Count D, who basically sells people animals with rules attached, which they inevitably disobey to their peril. Like the film Gremlins, haha. There's a great ship with him and the local cop, Leon, who's VERY suspicious of him, but who somehow becomes his closest friend against both of their wills. It's not BL but it's very shippable. I loved it, but it's also 20? 25? years old, and Count D is androdgynous leaning towards feminine, while Leon is, er, a cop who's clearly resistant to the idea he might be gay and falling for D, so there's a good chance it has some nasty dated humour lurking in there.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Maybe a few times a year? It's mostly hate towards the fic rather than hate aimed at me, haha, although sometimes it's both. I usually just ignore it or delete it. If it really, really winds me up, then I reply 'lol', so they know I've read it, and then delete it 😂

I usually consider it positive, in the sense that if I've really wound someone up, then at least I'm making them feel something with my writing, right?! Usually people who leave rants fall into a couple of categories:

They really, really love Draco, and think he's perfect and pure and blameless, and how dare Harry be even slightly shitty to him, Harry is the WORST. At the pinnacle of this, is the lengthy comment that still makes me laugh/grind my teeth about how Harry was abusive to Draco and I was a terrible person for presenting such abuse as romantic. (I mean, that sounds like it could be a hot, fucked up fic 😂 But it's not one I wrote!)

They are OUTRAGED by the unfairness of McGonagall re-sorting Harry into Slytherin in an eighth year fic, rather than the hat doing it, lolol. Have they never considered that the idea of sorting people into school houses based on the goals and personalities they have when they're 11 - and one of the personality types is 'ambitious and evil', while another is 'everyone else' - is a particularly fucking stupid one? That maybe their school house isn't all that important when the kids have grow up, and have fought a war? And that the only thing the houses are actually used for in the books turns out to be dormitory allocations, house points and sporting rivalries?

They are triggered by Harry taking up the arse, when obviously it is Draco's role in life to be ploughed instead

I did not tag for [rimming, a bad joke, that the couple are fifth cousins twice removed so it's INCEST you freak, etc etc]. Strangely, I don't remember ever getting any hate on my actual incest fic, The Evil Devil Child and the Perfect Gift, where Scorpius is a charming teenage psychopath who finds out his dad is hot for Harry, and manages to persuade Al to roleplay Harry/Draco in his mission to get their parents together. It's even filthier and more fucked up than it sounds 😂 I still love this Scorpius with all my soul.

Do you write smut? Maybe?

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Frequently.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! ❤️ A lot of my fics are in Chinese and Russian, and some in French, and I think a couple in Italian and Spanish too. It's so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nope. I drive myself up the wall trying to get a fic written. I couldn't inflict that on another person 😂

What’s your all time favourite ship? H/D (yes, I still prefer calling it that to Drarry, lol!)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A long time ago I completely failed to finish a Snarry fic I'd promised to someone who'd won an auction :( She was very gracious and understanding, and completely forgave me, but I still feel shitty I didn't come through. I used to love Snarry, but it was a complicated ship for me with competing love and ick feelings, and the pressure got to me so I lost my Snarry mojo completely.

What are your writing strengths? Oh, that's a hard one to answer, but with my self-confident hat on: I think I can write a bloody good love story.

What are your writing weaknesses? Overwriting, for sure - I don't always need to use so many words, or have such long sentences. I overuse italics and ellipses and dashes. If you think my posted fics have a lot of these, you should have seen them before :D

I love an adverb! I replace a lot in editing, because showing rather than telling is so much more effective, but a lot also stay.

I also get stuck on particular words/phrases and repeat them. I try to catch the worst offenders in editing, but in a long fic sometimes you just have to go with it - so please forgive me if you spot I used the word ridiculous a billion times, or someone runs their hand through their hair as a nervous tic a billion times, or whatever.

I also repeat a lot of ideas in fics, though I'm not convinced that's a weakness. If I do reread my fics though, it's pretty obvious what my narrative kinks are though, haha: significant gifts, fireworks, proposals, dining at a fancy restaurant, I could go on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? Mostly I avoid it - I don't see the point in including foreign dialogue when my reader won't understand it, unless my viewpoint character doesn't understand it either. (And even then, it's risky unless I speak that language - which I don't - because you can guarantee a reader will, and they'll lol at your ropey Google translate attempt.)

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I have plenty of ships I haven't written anything for yet, but nothing I'm actively longing to write - if I was, I would have already started something.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written? Oh, that's mean. I'm proud of basically 99% of everything I've written. I think maybe my favourite H/D is Star Quality - I think it's the best paced and plotted, and there's something about pop star Draco covered in glitter that feeds my soul 😂 Plus I love the journeys they both go on in terms of coming to terms with their sexualities - Harry's self-acceptance of something he was ashamed of, and Draco's bravery in doing what always felt impossible to him and coming out to his parents, because he wanted Harry so much he couldn't stand it any more ❤️

I also adore my Ouran fic. I don't write much het, and I don't usually write teen-rated fics either, but it's quiet, and heartfelt, and somehow the most romantic fic I've ever written. Plus I did a ton of research about Japanese culture so I think it does actually feel relatively Japanese. Oh, and I did a ton of research about Harvard too, where part of the fic is set, and I got a comment from someone asking if I'd been to Harvard too, so I considered that the highest of praise!!!

I don't remember who hasn't done this already to tag 😂 So, uh, @bewarethesmirk, @sweet-s0rr0w, @tackytigerfic, @eleadore, @epitomereally, @letteredlettered, @kamaela and any other writer friends scrolling on by who haven't!

#tag games #my writing #I spent too long on this 😂😂#I clearly enjoy navel gazing #drarry

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