#and that’s a whole other thing. magnetism. the ways in which love and hate interact

[beingnotseeming]

my high school english teacher that i had for 3 outta 4 years there pulling me aside after the AP practice shit.

which like. to be fair. was dying (legit) through high school and yet you out here concerned with attendance and unhappy with your AP shit when your body (and brain specifically bestie) are shutting down😶 bestie. oof. anyway. i think it was the practice ones idk may have been the real ones. anyway very meaningful chat even if i can’t really remember it in much detail. appreciate her for that. and a fair amount of other shit. people aren’t perfect i sure aren’t but ripple effects absolutely can go a long way. anyway. dying and all that still scoring top in the class. was specifically NOT recommended for her class by the 8th grade english teacher cuz she didn’t like me. not at all sorry that i’m not gonna utilize your bullshit essay writing “skills” andddddd also have *checks notes* no school pride🤔 ma’am i have ain’t patriotic and i sure as hell am not getting caught up in your “school pride” especially when that school has been bigoted at every fucking turn including down to your ass specifically. oh. and who are you taking the racism the homophobia the transphobia etc to?? no one. fucking no one. it’s a waste of time bothering with the teachers. waste of time with the office staff the principal the disciplinarian. i’ll save my breath and my energy thank you very much. how many times has the sky fallen? how many times has the world stopped turning? quite a few. lost track. thing they don’t tell you about that is it’s stopped it’s fallen and it’s continuing on alllll at the same time. can’t take shit to the district. can’t take shit to “parents”. can’t take it to the news. let’s not even get me started on “police” and the “justice” system. can’t take shit to a government foundationally built on this shit. liberty and justice and freedom for all my fucking ass. been saying that since kindergarten. look on that teacher’s face was shock. “still have to say the pledge” actually no the fuck i don’t. fuck your governments. fuck your borders. fuck your presidents. fuck your justice. fuck your peace. fuck all the shit you claim as truth but wrap in lies if not just presenting an entire lie with not even a sliver of truth. fuck you for the land that was never yours and you still have no respect for. fuck you for all the intentional suffering. the intentional lack. the intentional bloodshed. the intentional building through the hands of those left with once again your bullshit illusion of choice. and yeah. choice is absolutely a thing. you punish the shit outta people that wanna choose anything outside of your “lines”. fuck that. fuck all of you. i choose and continue to choose me. first and foremost. and it’s so much bigger than me. always has been. so it’s never just been about me. tried to keep me from my history. tried to keep me from my roots. all drains lead to the ocean don’t you know. wouldn’t have let me watch finding nemo quite frankly. all roads. all pathways. i’ll get myself home. and i won’t. i’m not as alone as you’d like me to believe. never was. and sure as hell won’t be for the eternity y’all sure love to preach on. preaching with planks in your eyes. running from any type of reflection. wonder the fuck why. it’s not all done in the dark and i know. y’all do this shit in the light too. it’s a show. world stage. white picket fence bullshit. trying to keep up appearances. tryna hide your vile ass bloody hands. your actions and inactions carry weight. don’t give a shit what you say. hiding your hands behind your back as if they haven’t been holding the knife among so many other things. i see. i see even if i don’t. i know. and i’ll only continue to know. and we’ll come and continue to come. wave after wave. generation after generation. you can take the memories. you can’t take the knowing. you can’t take the heart. can’t take the heart in any way at this point. can’t touch that shit now despite your meddling. wanna talk so much shit about the toxicity in the glow stick. again to the mirror. take a seat.

take a kneel. have a fucking bow. not a bow for applause. not a bow for the crowd. a bow. final curtain call. stage collapsing with all the elephants you’re so desperate to ignore. skeletons outta the closets. what the fuck is my face to you. sure as hell ain’t a joke but absolutely is walking evidence. reckoning. ripple effects. have such a love and appreciation and gratitude for the ripples. the ripples in my life. the ripples in others. it’s not always a matter of fighting the tide. i can and will go with the flow. the flow of my real mother. the flow of my real father. a flow that knows. a flow that has an actual authority. a flow that ain’t abusing and misusing that shit. i stand and watch the wave. i can argue with it too. i’m not asking for a battering i’m demanding it. and at the end of all that. the wave still has choice. as i have choice. we’re on far different terms now. there’s always been levels to the understanding. grateful to be here. grateful to be. grateful for my knowing and experiences. grateful for the wave. grateful for the ocean floor. i have tea parties down there. and i play in the sand. the wave and i chat. it’s not a wave i have any fear of. a respect of yes. but there’s no reason for me to fear the wave and there’s no reason at this point to be battered by it. the wave comes when it comes. and it does what it does. and i love the wave all the same. love the wave wholly and entirely. totality. people talk about the destructive nature of the ocean and yeah that’s very much so a thing. it soothes. it calms. it heals. it loves. it provides. multifaceted. multidimensional. many things. and one. much like me. and we we are one. one and many. the fire like the ocean it can destroy and it can do so much more. cleansing waves. cleansing fire. company despite how alone one may look to others eyes.

i’m not asking. i’m not begging. i’m not pleading. not with any of you. lay that shit down at the feet of those who actually care. those with actual authority here and there and everywhere. for as much as you all pull strings. there’s a far larger orchestra playing. i can hear that shit harmonize you know. you don’t know. you have no fucking idea. have no fucking clue how i work. how i operate. and even if i could explain in its entirety its beyond the grasp of those so set and fixated on solely deceiving and destroying. again not saying that lightly. or even judgmentally. shit has its places. all things and nothing do. the abyss ain’t going anywhere. neither is the void. and they’re not asking to be fed. you can absolutely sit with them. sit in them. but all the shit you wanna throw down the well to them. it don’t matter. don’t matter in any type of way that counts. any type of way that changes. you can absolutely transmute. transmute shit inside of you. own that shit. it’s mine. it’s all fucking mine. but a respect must be had. an understanding. and i love the void. i love the abyss. i love the chasms. i love the light. i love the dark. i love the gray. i love duality. i love totality. i love. i love. i love. i love love. i love choice. i love destiny. i love holding multiple concepts multiple truths. i love the ways in which perspective can change everything. i love the various vantage points. from the bottom of an endless pit to the rise the rise the rise. i’m a glow stick only i can break in a way that’s gonna count. you can send shit. you can try shit. it’s only going to add to my light. and that glow is irritating as shit to some of you. oh well. been to hell and back. and i still go visit. it’s a home i made even if its not the home i stay in. i am home. and i’m going home. i’m a lighthouse. i’m a beacon. i’m a catalyst. i’m the spark. i’m the embers. i’m the inferno. i’m many many fucking things. attempts to box me in are issues you can deal with. i’ll study the box. i’ll learn all i can. and i’ll consume it. i’ll transmute it. something into nothing. nothing into something. i choose. i choose. i choose. i choose love. i choose abundance. i choose knowing. i choose freedom. i choose liberation. i choose revitalization. i choose faith and grace and forgiveness. and not the kinds you love to preach and shove down peoples throats. i choose my own. i choose the meaning. and i choose me and us and our authenticity.

i choose to honor those now and from before and those after. i choose to see the beauty. i choose to see the connections. can’t tell me shit. the maps are everywhere. in us. on us. on the leaves. in the trees. the list goes on and on. and i think that’s beautiful. the beauty of connection. the beauty in connecting. so many patterns. so many loops. so many roots. and they lie. they lie and rot the roots. try to at the very least. i uproot shit absolutely but i transmute shit as well. learned the hard way you can’t remove everything. can’t kill everything. what are you left with. what did you want. i wanted to have fun. i wanted to create. so i do. and i will. i will continue to do so. and i will continue to glow. not a matter of beating odds. just quite frankly ignored that shit. off the deep end. in extremes. and in grays. but i’m here. i’m here. i’m here. heart still beating. heart intact. heart still on my sleeve and not in a place of lack. i love us. and i’m proud of us. i have faith in us and so much more than us. and not a faith stuck on a fence. i faith i can run with. i faith i dance in. with. grateful. grateful to be here. grateful to be. grateful to be me. us. we. grateful. and loving. you can take the memories you can’t take the heart. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹🫶🏽

[azrakaban]

Heyyy how are youu?

I saw your resquests are open and i wanted to ask:

Enemies to lover with the boys? Mattheo pretty please and reader being a hufflepuff?

Like the whole you meet and both hate each other from the start for years because reader is always in her own world reading caring for magical creatures but she isnt afraid to talk back to them when they're arguing (like calling them players or returning their insults) until one of them as a 'fuck it' moment and kisses the reader and confess their love?

Sorry that was long thank you for taking time to read and thank you if you do write it 🤭💋

I'm great my lovely! Having a good day? Did you drink and eat 2day? :)

actually fr giggled and blushed when making this tbh, have so many Hufflepuff friends so basing this off of them <3 Also totally happy to write for Mattheo hes so bbg !

Careful - Mattheo Riddle

Mattheo Riddle didn't like you. That was clear to anyone who saw you two interact, and honestly, there never seemed to be any kind of reason behind it.

The assumption was just basic house prejudice, but Mattheo was fine with other Hufflepuffs, so why were you so 'special'? You knew he had it in him to be nice, heck, you'd harboured a crush on him since third year, so why now had he decided to be an ass?

Maybe it was that you had a habit of tripping over certain uneven flagstones when reading, or accidentally smashing bottles in potions because you'd spotted a niffler. But you couldn't help being clumsy, right?

Everytime something like that happened, Mattheo would give a sigh and eye roll, which made you upset, naturally. It's not like you wanted to fall over!

As a result you would confront him and he would say the obvious. 'you're so uncoordinated it's almost painful to watch.' Well unfortunately for you, it actually was painful.

So you could imagine the reaction when Snape paired you for potions.

"Careful."

"Shut up, I am being."

A quiet sigh.

"CAREFUL!" He threw out a hand to steady a jar of frogspawn you had nearly knocked over. You glared at him.

"It wasn't my fault, it was in an awkward place..." You said quietly.

Mattheo rolled his eyes, with that same sigh. "I'm sure it was."

You rolled your eyes, mocking him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Mocking me? Real mature n/n." You mocked him again, and he copied you.

"Mr Riddle, Ms L/N, something you'd like to share?" Snape said acidly. You quickly stopped, shaking your heads.

"No sir."

Once he had turned away, Mattheo muttered to you. "Your fault."

You gasped, offended. "It was yours, whore!" You replied indignantly.

Mattheo scoffed, trying to continue work on the potion. You pushed him to the side, and he looked at you in shock for a second, before pushing you out the way.

You did the same, and it turned into a war, before you both pushed at the same time and ended up on the floor.

"L/N, Riddle, Detention." Snape said greasily. "And leave the class."

You both packed your things, flushing, and left.

"Your fault." He murmured, smirking.

"Honestly fuck you." You replied.

"Careful."

"Shut up."

"CAREFUL!"

You turned, glaring. "How about, until told otherwise, I'll be careful?"

Mattheo rolled his eyes. "Good idea."

You two were stuck in detention together, polishing trophies. Mattheo sniggered.

"You should get one for falling over, your face seems to have magnetic attraction to the floor." You bit back an exasperated scream.

"Look, I don't get why you hate me Mattheo, but just stop!"

"y/n-"

"No, no, just shut up! Can you just stop?"

"Y/N-"

"I don't like it when I fall over, it hurts, but you seem to be a sadist on some level-"

"Okay fuck it, I'm just going to shut you up."

Mattheo kissed you then, cupping your face in his hands, pulling back after a few seconds.

"I don't like it when you fall over either, you know, y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. "I can tell it hurts, so it irritates me that you're not more careful! You get hurt, Y/N, I see the bruises, and that hurts me too. Just... look out for yourself? For me?" He pleaded with you.

You froze, trying to process.

"Okay so... you don't hate me?" You said, confused.

"No actually, I kiss all the people I hate to shut them up. Oh look, here comes Potter, I'd better give him a snog. NO, Y/N, I DON'T HATE YOU." He laughed.

You giggled quietly, then smirked. "You like me." You said in a sing song voice.

Mattheo flushed slightly. "Do not." He grumbled.

"Youuuuu like meeee." You sang, giggling.

He kissed you again, effectively shutting you up as you kissed him back.

"You like me too though, y/n, let's not forget that." He smirked.

"You know you can't just kiss me every time you need me to be quiet." He laughed at that.

"Don't worry, I plan on kissing you a lot more than that. Though you do have quite a tendency to yap." He reminded you.

You poked your tongue out, moving back to the trophies to continue your detention, and nearly tripping over another wobbly flagstone.

"CAREFUL!"

Love and thanks for the request, hope this was what you were looking for, remember to eat and drink water <3

[mandoalorian]

What about Javier Pena being jealous?????? 🥺

Thank you for the request! I hope this is okay for you!!

Into You [Javier Pena x Female Reader] SMUT

Warnings: SMUT, inexperienced reader, angst in the start but fluff in the end ;) <3

Rating: 18+ only.

Word count: 4k

MASTERLIST | Submit your requests HERE

Javier Peña did not get jealous.

But he heard the way they talked about you. He saw the way they looked at you. Gawked, undressing you with their minds. The way their lips spewed dirt and filth about the things they'd do to you if they were graced with the chance of some ‘alone time’ with you. And he hated it.

Javier Peña was anything but a saint. He had his ways. The DEA had a renown of being more reserved than the CIA, which meant Javier had earned a name for himself due to his lothario reputation.  Javier's colleagues were a lot older than him, settled down with families, children- and some even with grandchildren. Even his old partner, Steve Murphy, had a wife and a daughter. Javier had none of that. Except from you.

You were the new receptionist. Shy, fresh faced, and beaming with anticipation as you found your feet in your new job. Javier found it endearing, but he wondered how long your bubbliness would last. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies- working for the DEA. You had an air of innocence to you, and he swore you had the kindest heart in the whole of Colombia. Javier knew from the moment he met you, that the men in his department were not deserving of you.

Javier didn't give a fuck about his reputation. But when the Colombian department extended to the CIA, Javier met a lot more men who were like himself. He saw them chat up women from his previous encounters in bars, and he saw them visit the same brothels as he did. That behaviour seemed to become normalized.

You were the only women in a department filled with horny, sex crazed men. Often, Javier would find himself watching you from his desk, only a pane of glass seperating you both. Almost always you were on the phone, doodling in a notebook as you talked to potential informants. Other times, your head was down and you were whisked away in your work. Occasionally though, he noticed CIA agents bust their move with you.

He never confronted you about it- it wasn't his place, but seeing the way they spoke to you filled a rage in his heart. Javier was lucky enough to blossom a friendship with you; one that you really valued. You didn't have many friends in Colombia, but knowing a man like Javier Peña had your back? That really brought you comfort.

Even better, you lived in the same apartment building as him. Same floor, just two doors apart. It meant that you were constantly over at his flat spending time with him. He taught you how to play poker and you enjoyed watching movies together and ordering take-out. Javier was a lot of fun.

Maybe, just maybe, you and Javier were spending too much time together. You were catching feelings for him, and shit- he was so sure he had already caught feelings for you.

Javier Peña does not catch feelings. He ran out on his and Lorraine's wedding because he was sure that he felt nothing for her. And she was his fiancée. Now, all of a sudden, he had a thing for the new DEA receptionist who sat outside his office. Only, it was more than just a thing. Javier Peña was in love. The sweet girl he had found to be so caring and compassionate, the angel who had eyes that must've been crafted by the Gods themselves and the softest lips he wished he could kiss.

You had sworn you had never been in love either, until of course, you met Javier. There was no way to explain it. You both just clicked like magnets. There was an electricity that exceeded just mere sexual tension. There was genuine feelings. 

Javier Peña is impulsive and so, when his feelings for you dawned on him, he called up his favourite sex worker; Vanessa. Not only was she good at her job, Vanessa was a good person. She was good to Javi when she didn't need to be, and that was hard to find in 80s drug-torn Colombia.

When Javi had a bad day at work- Vanessa would be at his beck and call. Sex was a way he could release any negative emotions he had. A temporary fix.

That night, you had planned to confront Javier. He had confided in you previously that he had stopped sleeping with women. Deep down, it was because of his feelings for you; although he would never admit that to you. You wanted to tell Javier that you liked him… a lot. But, you stood behind his apartment door, bottle of wine in hand, and heard Javier fucking Vanessa.

You froze up as you overheard their mixed up moans and groans of pleasure, immediately feeling stupid. Why would you believe that you actually had a chance with Javier Peña? He clearly didn't feel the same way about you.

And so you went back to your apartment, climbed into bed and finished the bottle of wine on your own. You closed your eyes and masturbated over him, whining his name as pleasure filled your core. 

And when Javier fucked Vanessa, he had her wear your pale pink lipgloss. He imagined her eyes match your specific shade and as he reached his climax, he wished it was with you. When he came, he screamed your name.

Of course, Vanessa didn't care. A job was a job to her.

After that night, you done your very best to brush away any feelings you once had for Javier. You tried really hard. You were beginning to believe it was a lost cause until CIA Agent Milo approached your desk about a month later.

Of course Javier noticed. He tried to take in the interaction between the two of you, judging from facial expressions as the glass pane in between you was practically soundproof. You were smiling, and you looked happy. Milo leaned against your desk, taking a pen and scrawling something on a sticky note. It was his number.

Jealousy was rife inside of Javi. Maybe Milo was about ten years younger than Javier, and maybe he read more fashion magazines. Although Javier considered himself stylish, you would often tease him for his 70s style wardrobe— an array of brightly coloured button up shirts, the same pair of dark blue denim jeans and pair of yellow tinted aviators. 

Javier knew Milo was no good for you. He reminded Javi of a younger version of himself. Milo was a heartbreaker, and you didn't need that. You needed someone who could look after you. Take care of you in all the ways you needed.

Not only that, but Javier knew what the CIA department was like— especially Milo. He would have nothing but questionable intentions with you. Another one of his sexual encounters that meant nothing to him but everything to you.

It was late on a Saturday evening when you nervously knocked on Javier's door. Just about to light up a cigarette, he stood up and unlocked it. His eyes widened when he saw you, slightly surprised. 

You were wearing a little black dress which clung around all your perfections, and ofcourse, your signature pink lip gloss.

"I haven't seen you in a while," he greeted as you slid past him and into the kitchen. "Want a drink?"

"No thank you." you replied, and Javier shut the front door and followed you into the kitchen.

"So what brings you here?" Javier asked, lighting his cigarette and taking a puff of smoke.

"I have a date with Milo in 45 minutes," you told Javier, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

"Oh," Javier didn't really know how to respond.

"And, I missed you." you shrugged innocently, beckoning a small smile out of Javier. The blush that crept upon his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.

"So, uh, Milo, huh?" Javier questioned, taking another drag of his cigarette. He failed to realise why exactly you had come to see him- 45 minutes before your date.

"Um, yeah," you looked around his kitchen awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. "He's pretty great." you managed to force out. "He was employee of the month like, three months ago."

"Yeah a real sucker upper," Javi rolled his eyes and you gasped, nudging him playfully.

"He is not." You laughed but Javier really wasn't in the mood for whatever you were trying to do here.

"Why are you here?" he deadpanned, cutting your laugh short.

"I…" you frowned, unable to complete your sentence and earning an annoyed sigh from Javi. Maybe you were wrong to come to him.

"I don't think you should go out on a date with Milo." Javi informed you matter-of-factly; stubbing out his cigarette in the ash-tray that was conveniently placed on the kitchen counter.

"Excuse me?" you asked, your voice going uncontrollably high pitched. Javier casually placed the burnt out tab back in his mouth.

"I hear the things they say about you in the office, the sly little comments they make about you." Javier grunted, dismay written all over his face. The cigarette that was balanced in-between his perfect pink lips wobbled slightly with his building up anger. "They're no good for you. No good."

You narrowed your eyes. "No good? Javier, you don't get to be the judge of who is good for me and who isn't." You tried to stay composed but in the heat of the moment, your words came out as a snarl. Javier's dark eyes snapped up to meet yours as he tried to weigh up your expression.

"Shit, I didn't mean it like that." he raised his hands in defense and you folded your arms across your chest, awaiting an explanation for him. "It's just- we're friends, right? And I'm a guy and so, I understand what these other guys are like. And I care about you and-" 

"What if Milo cares about me?" you croaked out. Judging from everything Javier had told you so far, you were beginning to wonder if he was right. You just didn't want to believe it. Your one shot of happiness. Your one chance.

"Milo doesn't care about you." Javier deadpanned.

"Ouch Javi." you shuffled your heels around uncomfortably. You were certain your cheeks were heating up from the shame and you probably looked like an absolute mess in front of Javier. You felt embarrassed for not realising sooner. And seemingly, Javier had caught on to those feelings too.

"You have nothing to feel ashamed about," Javier comforted you, awkwardly reaching out and placing a hand on your back. You shuffled closer to him and he finally pent up the courage to pull you into his chest.

His embrace was warm and you could smell the mixture of his cigarettes and aftershave in his white shirt. You wanted to cry. If you were alone, you would've cried, but you couldn't bring yourself to do so in front of Javier.

"I feel pathetic," you whimpered, fidgeting with his tie. "You know Javi, I'm not very good at this kind of stuff. That's why I came to see you in the first place. I know that- I mean I've heard things about you. You have the experience."

Javier stiffened up and you awkwardly pulled away from him, desperately trying to read his expression in case you said something wrong. "Experience?" he questioned, his dark eyebrows knotting together.

"You- you know," you murmured, closing your hands into a fist and looking down at your feet. "You're experienced and I'm… not."

"I don't understand." Javier replied and you huffed out your cheeks.

"Fuck Javi, are you actually going to make me say it? I'm a virgin."

Javier blinked a few times. The silence was deafening. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"I- I would've never have guessed."

"Yeah well…" Fuck, this was awkward.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" Javier prompted.

"I guess?" you replied in bewilderment.

"When I see him talk to you- when I see anyone talk to you… I get jealous. So fucking jealous."

You swore your heart stopped. "Jealous?"

"I see the way they make you laugh and smile- and I curse myself because I wish that was me."

You raised a hand and pressed it into his chest. "Javi…" you didn't know what to say. "I- I came here for… advice. About… you know. Sex."

Javier looked you up and down and rolled his eyes, walking into his living room. When you followed him, he was already slouched into the sofa, nursing a bottle of cold beer.

"What do you need from me?" Javier sighed, feeling defeated that his attempt of admitting his true feelings had become completely lost on you.

"Show me." you whispered nervously, taking a few steps closer to him.

"I don't want to take advantage of you…" Javier trailed off but he was already wishing he could undress you.

"I want you to." you admitted, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

Javier contemplated for a moment but really, there was no question about it. He had dreamt of fucking you since the moment he first laid his eyes on you. Javier leaned forward and put the bottle of beer on the coffee table.

"Take off your dress and come sit on my lap." Javier instructed and you nodded, sliding out of your dress and letting it pool around your ankles. You went to kick off your heels when Javi interrupted. "No, keep them on."

You nodded with a slight smile. It wasn't long until you found yourself standing completely naked in front of your best friend, and Javi had gotten rock hard from just watching you undress. All his fantasies were alive.

He beckoned you over and you sunk down onto his lap. "Rock your hips over me," Javi mumbled, pressing a light kiss into your ear.

You followed his command and immediately felt a wash of satisfaction as you started to dry hump him through his jeans.

"Javi," you moaned, your eyes rolling back as you grind harder over his bulge.

"That's it, good girl," he praised, fucking a stand of your hair behind your ear. His hand fell down to your chest, grabbing and squeezing at your breasts. "Take what you need."

A huff of air escaped your lips at his words and you buried your head into the crook of his neck. His skin was warm and you could smell the tobacco burnt into his body. But also, there was a sweetness to him, like honey. The scents did not get lost on you. He was your addiction.

You raised your hands to his head, lacing your fingers amongst his locks of dark brown hair. As you increased your speed, you tugged on his hair which earned a hearty groan from Javier's mouth. The noises he made only spurred on your arousal and you felt your cunt getting wetter by the second, contracting around nothing as you began to grow desperate for his cock.

Javier felt his boxer shorts dampen as his precum dripped through the thin material. His big hands roamed your bare back and he knew that pretty soon he'd want to take his pants off. You loved the sensation of rubbing your pussy over his denim jeans, the friction tickling you in just the right ways. You loved the way he would moan or tense up when you occasionally brushed over his erection.

"This feels better than I ever could've imagined." you admitted and your eyes were hazy, glazed with tears as you pushed towards your climax.

"Yeah? Fuck, first times usually aren't this good," Javier grunted as he felt you twitch on top of him, your legs beginning to shake around him. "Can you cum for me?"

"You- you want me to cum?" you blinked, a blush creeping upon your cheeks.

"Please," Javier groaned. "Need you to cum all over me. Make a mess of my jeans."

"Oh Javi," you whimpered, putting more focus on grinding over his hard, defined bulge. It rubbed between your folds and stimulated you in a way that your fingers could never.

"I love it when you say my name," Javier hummed, holding you steady as you rode out your high. You gasped and pressed your lips against his.

He swiped his tongue over your lower lip, begging for entry which you happily granted him. But the second you opened your mouth just slightly, he slid his tongue in and you gasped out another loud moan of his name causing his grip to tighten around you. You came undone all over him, just how he had always dreamt about, whimpering into his mouth. You stopped grinding but stayed still on his lap for a few moments, letting him hold you and kiss you.

His kiss eventually left your lips and he planted sloppy love bites down your neck and along your collarbones. His grip on your breast was soft yet firm and the roughness of his hands made you want to help, especially when he rubbed his thumb over your nipple, pinching it slightly just to see what reaction he could get out of you.

"Your tits are fucking perfect." Javier groaned, licking a stripe down the valley of your breasts. You watched him with eager and excited eyes as he played with you, feeling your cunt drip with your arousal once more.

"Javi," you groaned, tossing your head back.

"What is it?" he responded, a mouthful of your tit. You paused for a moment, letting him suck on your nipples. "What do you need, my love?"

"I need you," you mewled, your toes curling involuntarily when he pulled his mouth away from your nipples with a 'pop' sound. "Need your cock to fill me up."

"Yeah? Fuck you're so dirty… never had no cock before. And you want mine? Are you sure that's what you want, sweet girl?" Javier's mustache brushed against your neck and you giggled at the tickle it gave you.

"Mm yes Javi, wanted this for so long and so bad. Wanted you. I'd hear about all the girls that you fucked and I, I just wanted to be one. One of your little fuck toys." You groaned, pleasure pooling in your eyes.

"My love, you're more than that. You're so much more than that." Javier promised you, gently pushing you off his lap so he could unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. He stood up, pulling his jeans down, along with his boxer shorts, and you couldn't help but yelp when you saw the way his long thick cock sprung out against his stomach. The tip was red and already leaking for you.

"Oh Javi," you whispered, unable to take your eyes off his manhood. "You're so- you're so big."

"Come here," he curled his finger, gesturing for you to come back over and sit on his lap.

You straddled him again and gasped, feeling his cock press between your folds. You continued to rub over him, this time feeling more freeing as your wetness glided over his erection. "I'm nervous," you admitted. "I want this Javi. I really do, but I've never- done this before." you gulped and Javi planted a reassuring kiss to your lips.

"I'll go gentle sweetheart, I promise. And if it ever gets too much, you can just tell me. Your comfort is the most important to me." Javi whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. "Let me just…."

Javier lowered his hand to your clit and began to rub gently. He closed his eyes, your wetness soaking his fingers with just the smallest of touches. "Already so nice and wet for me," Javier smiled, bringing his fingers up to your lips and pushing them gently into your mouth. He watched you with his dark, lust blown eyes as you sucked your own arousal from his fingers. "How do you taste?" 

"Good," you replied, blushing again and hopelessly fluttering your eyelashes which framed your eyes.

Javier lowered his hand again and you lifted yourself up slightly. He slid his middle finger in, deep, and you were surprised at how well you could take him. He left his finger inside of you for a second before rubbing his index finger against your hole. He looked at you, asking for approval, to which you gave him a nod and smile, and Javier pushed a second finger inside of you. This earned a moan from you, followed by a giggle as he slowly stretched you out by pumping his fingers in and out of you.

Feeling your walls contract around him, he removed his fingers and brought them up to his own mouth, this time tasting you for himself. "Perfect." he corrected you, humming in delight.

Javier reached over to the drawer inside the coffee table and pulled out a string of condoms. He teared open the packet of one and skillfully slid it down his length.

Javier adjusted himself slightly and you lifted off him just a few inches. He reached to his cock and held it upright, before signalling for you to sink down on him. He wanted to let you be in control. He wanted you to start doing it at your own, comforting pace.

The second you sunk down on him, you felt him twitch inside of you and your eyes widened at the unfamiliar feeling fullness. You sat down on him, nudging your nose against his and he kissed you again as you warmed his cock in your pussy.

"So tight," Javier growled, biting down on your lower lip. "How does it feel for you? Is it hurting?"

You shook your head 'no' and Javier offered you a warm smile. "Just- you're just so big."

"Take your time sweet girl." Javier murmured, kissing down your neck.

Slowly, you lifted yourself off him before sinking back down. And repeat. Until eventually you felt like you could build up a steady and comfortable rhythm— you realised you were riding him. Javier buried his head into your breasts as you bounced on his cock, your breathing hitching as you felt every one of his bumps and veins inside of you.

Javier was a mess underneath you, slurring out an abundance of incoherent curses in a wash of satisfaction as your cunt clenched around him. He knew he wouldn't last long.

You straightened up your posture and Javi shuffled backwards a little, leaning into the plush of the sofa cushions. His hips started to snap into yours as he began to meet your thrusts with loud moans. His large hands held you by your waist as he fucked you so perfectly. His cock was buried deep within you, and with every one of Javier's thrusts, he hit your sweet spot.

"I'm close," you gasped as Javier continued thrusting. You felt your heart rate pick up and your legs begin to shake as his balls slapped against your dripping core.

"Me too," Javier concluded, bumping his nose against yours and kissing you passionately. Breaking away to catch breath, he grabbed a fistful of your hair. "Cum with me. 3, 2, 1." 

The second he said '1' you broke on top of him, and Javier's cock pulsed inside of you, his seed spilling into the condom. Your cunt clenched around him, milking him of all his arousal and you were left, a breathless mess, on Javier Peña's lap. His cock slipped out of you and you groaned at the lost feeling of fullness. Javier pinched the condom and took it off before throwing it into the nearby trash bin.

Javier's dark eyes blinked up at you a few times as you both took a few minutes to regain your breath. "How was it?" Javier asked eventually, exhaling shakily.

"Better than I ever could've imagined." you offered him a smile. He always found that your smile was contagious and he couldn't help but grin at you back.

"Listen- what I said to you before- the whole, "I'm into you" thing… if you're not ready, I completely understand." Javier told you.

You couldn't bring yourself to fathom words so you simply just pressed a kiss into his lips. "I'm into you too, Javier Peña." you whispered and felt Javier grin into the kiss, his hands twisting into your hair as he pulled you deeper into him.

Permanent taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!):  @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic 

[sugar-petals]

:: random things about boyfriend yoongi

↳ ♡ NOTE I saw this format floating around the fandom and thought it was cool and sweet (just like our honey boy so here it goes) 😊  includes an sfw and nsfw bit, both can be read independently.

words. 3k

SFW

First off, Yoongi is laid-back and casually sexy the way we know him. But he also has spikes of energy where he actually gets a little clingy. Any opportunity he will use to hold hands or jump around like a madman with his gummy smile because he got excited about something that you never could predict would make him so happy. He truly is an epiphany.

He’s your most eager personal chef but funnily enough a little unsettled by onions so you end up helping him. Yoongi hates to be crying in the kitchen because of some evil little vegetable but hey, perfect time and place to spend half an hour huddled together cooking or baking. And Yoongi is secretly longing for a cheesy scene, he finds it romantic when you wipe the tears from his face.

His way of speaking to you is a mix of mumbly Korean, high-pitched pouty cat speak, and old-school English slang phrases that he learned somewhere on social media or award shows back in 2018. Most of the time he takes things seriously but is up for some joking anyway. He is sure to giggle every now and then which is really adorable of him. Yoongi is also the person who gets every nuance of your humor and reacts to it.

After being single, you really have to get used to someone waddling around the house. Like— oh, he’s there! And it’s none other than him! Since Yoongi isn’t noisy when he concentrates on his laptop, it really stands out when he morphs from his unmovable rock-like being to a slow rolling stone headed towards the kitchen from time to time. You have to blink every time. And how could you not look up, he’s walking by with his cutest oversized sweaters and striped fluffy socks.

He cannot hide things that normal people would try to keep secret — because of their own discomfort, but he is good at blocking out things that serve your comfort. I’ll explain what I mean. If you have been keeping up with Yoongi postponing the reveal of his surgery until it was successful, you know what I mean. In short, Yoongi is pretty much an automatic filter for things that disturb you. Knowing the right time and place to inform you is the key. As is disregarding things that don’t concern you as a couple, unnecessary drama and opinions. He’s really good at that without ever trying to sugar-coat the important things because he remains a frank and honest soul.

Yoongi has an easier time giving random presents for simple occasions rather than making a big deal out of traditional festivities. So, big celebrations are often kept simple — unless the rest of BTS is there advocating their ‘a little party never killed nobody’ motto — while Yoongi focuses on getting you something attentive or useful every other day pretty much. He’s still a frugal type, you know him. It’s more about inexpensive things that catch his eye because he heard you likes this or that type of snack or want this or that sofa cushion. 

There’s always something new and surprising in the fridge and it’s hardly ever empty because Yoongs takes care of the groceries, really thinking it through. Just personal chef things. Being Yoongi’s partner must be the most destressing thing. He takes responsibility for the worldly things, the ironing clothes and the trash cans. He himself thinks that’s the easiest shit ever and is ready to put time into it (he sees the merit, it drives him) while thinking your side — the sheer act of being in love with him, being there for him — must be hard. Which it isn’t. 

Yoongi thinks emotions and relationships are tough and complicated while daily life runs smoothly at the snap of a finger. You think maintenance is a drudgery while love is not the maze your boyfriend assumes it is. Deep down Yoongi thinks he’s unlovable and a bad person, that’s why he believes he doesn’t have the burden but you have. That your affection then blazes past the barriers in Yoongi’s esteem is something that he finds incredible. It catches him off guard there, you burst the bubbles of the flaws he falsely imagines he has.

You bet your ARMY bomb you’re watching cat videos together.

Guess who’s the first person to hear all of Yoongi’s upcoming hit tracks? Even Namjoon gets the first sample ten minutes later. You gotta be really advanced at keeping secrets and avoiding accidental leaks with your phone or something.

Yoongi hesitates with the analogy because it’s a little funny and you’re evidently not a steaming liquid made of beans, but he claims you really are like his daily americano. Makes his every morning better. 

Now, in all seriousness. What means the most to him is that you take him how he is and are stable company. Yoongi is afraid of betrayal and stupid games so he has to be sure to have a safe bet going. I think that’s why he fancies marriage, it’s a sign of commitment and some degree of permanence to him. And yes, he is a bit jealous in nature since he’s easily invested in someone with a purity of feeling, almost in a naive way. Yoongi easily idolizes his partner and puts a lot of energy into a bond. He wants to protect that, take the risk, and he has watched for someone who radiates genuine trust and faith. He is sure to have found it in you without any illusions and he is right. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

Playing the piano for dinner or date night is a must, he practices constantly to advance to a great standard. He secretly finds a lot of satisfaction in you cooing at his skills and melodies. Those ten bony fingers gliding over the keys with such a technicality and focus, and a passion that makes you hold your breath, it’s great to watch.

Did you see that one coming? He will compose and produce a designated mixtape only for you personally. Yes, with a little self-filmed, self-cut music video for the title track. 

Now those things never see the light of day, they’re all for you. But what about your couple life once it touches the social realm? As one might expect, Yoongi is very ‘eyes turn narrow’ with people who bring disharmony to your dynamic and the relationship in general. In fact, he is grumpy and disappointed, and should someone give him a reason, distinctly brutal. If someone even attempts to test you or plays manipulative games, Yoongi is relentlessly turning them from the inside out with his words that never miss the mark. They’re efficient. As I said, he hates playing annoying games, he’ll do any shortcut and be Yoongi.

I guarantee you can lean back and will never the fazed by stupid people and time wasters again. No need to lose face. Yoongi does the dirty work and is the best possible defender to have on your side. He handles that. Invasive opinions and useless phrases he will shove right up some trashtalker’s ass and leave. Let’s squarely say he is unafraid to be a armchair critic of your and his haters and doesn’t want any of that nuisance to disturb what you have together. He cuts very quick and makes sure not to get tangled up in trouble.

Yoongi will also debunk a whole bunch of weirdos on weverse asking about your private love while he’s at it. Prepare for some very entertaining snide remarks. Oh my god, so many entitled people will be pissed off. Many will also celebrate him for stepping up. What’s actually important to Yoongi is that nobody taints what is like a treasure to him.

It won’t be hard to overlook that Yoongi is very proud of you as well. He looks confident and revering when he hangs out with the group and you’re somewhere close by, even just doing something trivial.

He’s also pretty touchy, sometimes publically to demonstrate something, but mostly in the relative calm and safety of a hotel room. When the lights are out, all barriers crash, the utter romantic takes over. His favorite types of kisses besides those onto his hands are when you kiss his lashes. And yep. Yoongs is such a cozy little spoon. A very curled up one with cute shooky pajamas on most likely.

Talk about clothes. Believe it or not, Yoongi’s fashion goes through a significant change due to the relationship. He knows that you are touchy and thinks about what kinds of flannels are the biggest cuddle magnet, after all. And oh wonder, he will also show some level of skin when he accidentally hears your praises for his arms and legs and collar bones and glowy skin while talking to a close friend of yours. So, look forward to that in summer (he still dislikes the winter cold and wraps himself into scarves twice his size, mind you) though it’s still for your eyes only, he covers up when going out. Truth be told, he enjoys when you casually touch his skin. Especially the arms. Which hold up the firmament to you, and your world, too, and guard it.

BTS will know about how excited he is about you because he often boasts about for how long you’ve been living together by now. We all know this is Yoongi’s favorite way of bragging and it further shows that loyalty, dedication and longevity is the spice to his every meal.

Yoongi is probably going to quit the bottle because you naturally make him feel at ease and upbeat. In fact, he simply forgets about his wine. I don’t have to convince you that Yoongi will be very immersed in any interaction with you whether that be watching movies or discussing his latest tracks. 

Those discussions come with extra back massages for him because he spends a lot of hours in his chair. Especially around the neck, it’s no secret that this is in every cat’s top 3 favorite massaging areas. Yoongi is gonna make some really raspy, sleepy sounds and just melt in your hands. He’s gonna sleep like a baby afterwards every time. Sometimes, he says funny and cute things while he dozes. He looks very content.

Say goodbye to the 21st century adulting annoyances in your life because Yoongi has a grip on those without a word. Those six specific chores that always plague you take him only a dozen minutes and he is eager, the forms to fill out are already sent off, the list of people to e-mail is weeded through. The taxes are paid, the bank account is full, the meals are on the table, garnished to perfection. Roof over the head, and it’s a sturdy one, Yoongi bought a sound haven house to inhabit a lot of happiness for two. 

He’s probably the only person who doesn’t see it as a loss of dignity if you want to hold on tight to him during a dentist visit as a grown ass mf. Why all of this? Yoongi cannot not strive to feel needed in his actions. He wouldn’t like himself if he couldn’t contribute something reliable and useful. That you find things worthy of your time is priority. You complement each other, what you think is a waste of energy makes him work and strive and vice versa. That way, in the end all things are taken care of.

Giving is more important than taking in Yoongi’s world. He thinks of everything because he considers it an offense to have you in a pile of duties, that is, if you don’t like ‘em. It’s his form of dedicating his efforts and showing respect. He doesn’t need much in return. The things he expects if at all don’t feel like a duty: Much like he doesn’t consider doing those acts of services for you likewise.

Work horse he is, he needs something on his daily to-do plan. Which includes making you feel unbothered by the occasions of an incoming strict world when it’s getting to you. You’re supposed to do what you feel like doing just like him and not slave away at fifty deeds. That you torture yourself with daily life hassle is the thing he dislikes seeing the most. He enjoys doing these things so he’s happy to get going.

What’s not a daily life hassle: Holly is a big fan of yours. Instant friendship. Just wanted you to know.

He always knows how to preoccupy himself and finds something to improve. Getting on your nerves, and that’s no surprise, is the last thing Yoongi will ever do. In fact, you sometimes have to search for his napping spot because he got lost somewhere in the house. 

He either sleeps or works, his philosophy is simple. If you need him, he does appear seemingly out of nowhere. And, he spends as much time with you as you enjoy, not always prioritizing his producing unless it’s urgent or he’s on an inspiration streak. Which is great anyway, you can sit next to him listening. It’s the right balance of work and play.

Yoongi is not above blatantly showing off. Actually, he goes for an act of stunning pretty often. You know how cats parade around whatever they just caught. He wants to impress you with assets and accolades and appraisals, the boy can’t help it. That you only lightly nod at most of it with a little smile will confuse him but he will get the point later on. You wanna signal Yoongi that you anchor your love for him not in shifting numbers and chunky metal pieces. 

That you don’t confuse his signs of outward worth and fame with the core of the guy you find the sweetest in the world is very important to him. He will take some time to see through that because he’s used to being loved through status and its symbols by people close and afar. 

The way you throw yourself at him to give a big smooch in random situations — especially when he doesn’t feel great about himself— rather than only when he say gets a new car is sending him a message. Again, he has to grow into that. He will retreat at the beginning because he feels worthless of your affection on days where he doesn’t feel big and bold and successful. But since he sees you jumping on him because you need only his kind and squishy presence and see him as no different than usual because he’s always Yoongi underneath, your boyfriend will change his mind about it sooner or later. He learns that your presence makes him feel like a billion dollars yourself.

You don’t wallow in the regrets of other people missing the point of Yoongi and instead focus on always understanding him rather than enabling Yoongi into wrong directions. And there are many of those, his mental health can tell you a thing or two about it. He begins to get that you really know what you’re doing and are in it for the real him which makes him feel really loved far underneath all surfaces and images. You accept his fame and admire his work with music which is what he’s truly doing it for but also don’t forget that the most vulnerable Yoongi is the one that you’re there for and not a facade.

NSFW

I know you’re curious. That Yoongi’s sexual style is more than just interesting goes without saying. To give you an idea. Anything steamy with Yoongi means him taking his time. You know, for making it quality. Yoongi wants to grow into the right balance of activity and staying relaxed. He is good at keeping cool and bringing some focus to the madness. He wants to figure out how to be more casual instead of tense and overly preoccupied which he’ll be at the start of the relationship. But the fast learner he is, his nervousness fades way faster than you think. 

Yoongi is extremely afraid that he can’t please you or starts to become awkward slash clueless so he darts to the opposite of the spectrum and overperforms, even plays a character. You have enough cool yourself to tell him what to do in the pace that works best. That he stays centered in his body is important for you to teach him. When he gets grounded and juggling his confidence is out of the equation, he fucks the best.

His favorite position besides giving oral — with you on your back — will be doggy style. Man, we gotta talk about that. Slow to upper moderate pace, nothing too all over the place. Yoongi moans very slowly, too, all drawn out. Get ready for a frequent session of some anal to unwind. You heard that right. First, Yoongi will get the two of you into the right rhythm with his hands at the sides of your waist, then, ride it out in slow mo with his right hand properly stimulating you from the front. 

By habit, he will add some lube here and there but not use insanely dripping amounts so everything gets messy or he can’t touch you without sliding off anymore. Just enough to slide well. Yoongi is so good at this I swear, it’ll be your favorite thing to relax. He has the restraint and technique to pull it off rather than pulling out, huh. Yoongi is gonna stay inside you for ages. It feels like he’s massaging every spot for some extra time. It’s amazing to slack off your muscles, cool off, and get many a gentle but fulfilling orgasm. 

He’s not gonna put you through the hassle of dealing with an anal creampie cleanup so he keeps it wrapped, and mostly focuses on your movements altogether while keeping his own climax smooth and more relieving rather than something that relentlessly knocks him out in one go. Yoongi is good at observing and doesn’t feel the need to chase a violent high which is why he is so great at sex. Fucking with Yoongi leaves a wholesome feeling and you never feel ashamed or guilty, or a sense of being dirty and ruined. 

He enjoys having sex to make you feel really good and works his hands on you very respectfully. His goal is to have you wet and pulsing after a long while of getting you there, and putting you to a good night’s sleep. He’d feel terrible if he left you sore or disturbed. He is really passionate, especially with his kisses or when you ask him to slide into very deeply, but Yoongi being brash and controlling is an image out of sight.

Besides giving you the number one heavenly assfucks, Yoongi also likes to work his tongue as we know, and he’ll work it all over. Few body parts of yours have not made contact with that glorious mouth and I say that in the best of ways. You can instruct him to do whatever, Yoongi obliges with radiant joy. And here again, he takes minutes upon minutes. Kissing and kissing and licking and maybe even teasing once or twice to make you smile. You know, a little signature wink. Honoring your skin and every shape is not something that Yoongi has to talk about, he will physically show it and I swear it’ll finally get into your head with every little move, Yoongi has totally surrendered his tongue to your body and worships it.

[locationeocity]

☾word count : 2.0k ☾pairing : na jaemin x reader ☾genre : established relationship au, angst ☾warnings : y/n struggling with mental health, relationship problems, mention of insomnia, codependent-ish relationship dynamic ☾summary: After avoiding to get help from Jaemin for a empty tire, you and him confront each other about the dynamics of your strained relationship. 

These last three months of your relationship with Jaemin have been exhausting to describe it in only one word. Your personal issues have put a strain on it and after much reflection you concluded that your relationship has been getting farther from being a healthy one, as it was in the past. You found yourself relying too much on Jaemin, to the point it felt like a codependent dynamic. At least, that was your impression after many hours spent on psychoanalyzing your relationship. Jaemin has always been a kind, helpful, relying partner but this time it made you feel like a child, and like a burden even though that wasn't his intention at all. 

   For him, he was simply acting like any person that loves their significant other would. He didn't mind the constant check ups through calls, texts and even in person. In the whole two years of your relationship, you two never saw each other more. He liked being around you as much as he could, so when things got overwhelming and too much for you he could be right there by your side, as he should. And honestly, even though he had never expressed it to you, you could tell he liked being needed. At first, you admitted that you liked the attention, which surprised you because it wasn't as if he was absent or aloof before. And his company really came in handy to help you cope with everything.

   But everything was a lot. Your insomnia was back as strong as ever, which made you restless and irritating and sad and angry. This last semester of college was stressing you and pushing you into feelings you hated to have. Every day you felt like you were about to touch rock bottom, except that Jaemin was the pull that never let you drown. And you had come to really dislike that. You hated that you couldn't be independent enough, you hated how he was always too attentive, and willing to help. That's the reason why you refused to call him when you had to stop at the side of the driveway because of a bad tire.     You got out of the car with your arms around you because of the cold of the night. As soon as you got close to the front of the car you confirmed what you had feared: a bad, empty tire. You sighed without a big reaction because you weren't really surprised, things like these used to happen often in your life. Like you were a magnet for bad things, and bad feelings too. Feeling powerless and tired, you quickly got back into the car and closed your eyes while listening to the horns and sounds of the fast cars passing by. The minutes passed while you were mentally debating what choice to make. You either could change the tire yourself or you could call for help, from either a friend or a service, or Jaemin.     Feeling as indecisive as ever, you didn't know what to do. You sure didn't want to bother Jaemin. The sound of a received text interrupted you before you could make a decision. It was your friend asking about the study date you had planned for the next day at the library. 

“can we move the time of tmrr for 1 pm pls”  “something came up im dorru” “*im sorry fuck omg” 

   You laughed at the typo and answered right back. It felt strange and uncomfortable to laugh, like you were trying to put on a dress that didn't really fit. Taking advantage of the interaction, you impulsively decided to ask about your friend's whereabouts and proceeded to ask if he could help you with the tire issue.     Thirty minutes later your friend arrived and knocked on your window, interrupting your reflection about the way the day had developed. It was taking a lot of you not to lose control and breakdown because of the inconvenience.      You couldn't wait to get home and cry away the frustration, something you have done constantly as of lately.     “It's not very girlboss of you not knowing how to change a tire.” he said with a funny expression, you laughed at the comment and proceeded to give him a tight hug. You appreciated the warmness of his body amidst the cold of the night.     “I'm sorry for calling at this hour, I'm so exhausted and I just wanna go home.” you confessed.     “It's okay, I’ll do this quickly since it's not my first time. You do look tired though, you can wait inside the car. It's not gonna take me a long time.” your friend reassured you while observing your disgruntled expression and noticing the tension screamed by your body language. You were definitely going through a bad day, badder than usual.    “Thank you so much.” you said trying to convey the most gratitude possible in your words. After quickly getting back into your back, you rested your head on your seat, closed your eyes and took deep breaths trying not to let the anxiety get the best of you. Not today, the voice in your head kept repeating.         You felt your chest getting tighter and your hands getting shakier. You got so caught up with doing your best to calm down that you lost track of time and got startled when your friend knocked on the window. You rolled it down and quickly thanked him again.     There was a brief silence before he said “y/n…. Are you okay?... Why didn't you call Jaemin? Because I know he's not busy right now you know.” He had an expression that said he was trying to be careful with his words. Your friend thought he might be entering sensitive territory, and he did because when you heard his question your chest tightened again.      “I just couldn’t I guess…” you admitted, avoiding his gaze. “But thank you again, really,” you said while looking straight at him, trying to communicate with your eyes what your lips couldn't say.  “You're welcome. Please, text me when you get home.”      “I will, goodnight. Be careful driving!” you screamed out of the window while he walked back into his car and messily waved goodbye to you as a response to your screamed words.  You rested your head on your seat headboard once again, feeling overwhelmed. You reassured yourself that you were almost there, just a few more minutes until you could arrive to the comfort of your apartment and let it all out.     At arriving, you unfortunately got another unpleasant surprise; Jaemin was outside waiting for you. You really didn't want to see him tonight. You felt like a mess and on edge. You didn't want to be taken care of, you just wanted to feel everything instead of ignoring it.     He was waiting for you outside of his car, resting his body in front of the driver's door. He was looking straight at you as you parked, and as you silently got out of the car and walked slowly towards him. He was showing a small smile, but his body was tense just like yours. You stopped a few feet away from him.  “Hi.” you said softly. “So… What are you doing here?”  “Hi.” He showed a bigger smile this time, the warmth of it reaching his eyes. There was a short moment of silence before either of you spoke again.  “Why weren’t you answering your phone? I got worried.”    “I-...” “I really didn't notice. I’m sorry, I thought it had charge.” You mumbled, nervously reaching for your phone in the pocket of your jacket. He was right, at some point in the drive between the driveway and your apartment your phone had died.  “Oh, my bad then I guess.” He answered back with an apologetic tone.   “y/n, are you okay?” He said in a really low voice, as if he was scared to hear your answer.     “Yeah, of course. Are you?” You lied for no reason, because you knew he knew you were far from okay. And you were hoping the denial worked to get you into your apartment faster.     “Why won't you tell me about what happened to your tire?” He started to walk closer, shortening the distance between you and him.     “I don't know…” You took a while to answer because the answer for that question was too long and very emotionally charged. You simply didn't have the energy for it tonight. You couldn't even be mad at your friend for contacting Jaemin. You just felt bad all over, and you could even physically feel it.     “Baby… What's going on? Please talk to me.” Jaemin said, reaching for your hand. He was asking with his voice but you could see he was begging through his eyes. You didn’t reach for his hand and opted for hiding them in your pockets.     “I don't know. '' You repeated, lost for words, not because you didn't know what to say but because your thoughts were too much and all over the place. One more push and you felt close to pouring everything out.     “How do you think it makes me feel seeing other people help you when I could easily do those things myself?” There it was.     “Am I not reliable enough for you? Why didn't you ask for my help?” And another one. The guilt, shame, embarrassment and frustration you felt at that moment was overwhelming.  “I don't know.'' But you knew. You knew too well.     “I just… I just feel like now this whole relationship is about me; like I’m receiving more than I’m giving to you. Jaemin, you are too reliable. And I can't keep doing it. ” You paused, taking a big gulp. You could feel the tears forming behind your eyes.     “You’re supposed to be my boyfriend. Not my caretaker, or my therapist. and I know that you love being there for me, and if you weren't you would feel guilty and like a bad boyfriend but… but I just… I don't know” you finished with a sigh out of frustration finally feeling the tears pouring out your eyes and falling down your cheeks.     Everything was still for some minutes, the sound of the street light flickering filled the moment. Jaemin remained in his place trying to process everything that you had said. After that, he started to slowly approach you to dry your tears. You let him but also angrily wiped some of them yourself.     “What can I do to help you? Just tell me what to do. If you need me to back away and give you space I’ll do it.” He whispered with a bit of desperation. Seeing him this way was only making you feel guiltier.    He didn't tell you, but he was impatient for you. He wanted as much as you for this episode to be over. But he thought that being constantly at your side was the key for it to end. He realized he failed to ask you what you wanted. At the end, he assumed you wanted and needed him by your side to get through it. He cursed at himself mentally.     “I don't like the idea of you worrying constantly about me. In fact, I hate the thought of me being a nuisance or a bother in your life...” you said quietly and slowly trying not to cry again.     “What do you want me to do? Break up with you?” he asked after another long silence. He was looking at you directly, wondering if he looked at you enough, maybe that way he could find a way to understand you a little better.    That caught you off guard, you widened your eyes at his unexpected response. It’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed your mind but you just didn't expect it from him.    “Can you do that?” you asked with fear in your voice. Even though you were really scared to hear his answer, in your mind you were already convinced that he just couldn't.  The question woke up something in Jaemin, something new and bothersome.       After all, maybe the relationship wasn't as good and stable as he thought it was.     Could he really break up with you even after the relationship has taken an unhealthy turn? 

[malfoys-demigod]

Boy-Magnet - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Prompt: “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”, “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

Summary: Being the opposite of a chick-magnet, you attracted many single boys who always tried hitting on you or asking you on a date. These boys all had the wrong intentions, especially Cormac McLaggen who had to be the biggest problem of them all. Draco couldn’t stand seeing his friend/secret crush go through this all. Little did you know, he would give his last fend off, showing that he would be there for you at all times now. 

Word count: 3.6k 

Tagging @the--queen-of-hell

A/N: Ah!! It’s a bit scratchy but this oneshot should do it! Enjoy!

--  “Hey Y/N, you free this weekend?” asked a passerby whose friends started chuckling as they walked past you in the corridors. 

“Nope,” you irritatingly answered and rolled your eyes as you were waiting for your friend Daphne to leave the classroom she just had classes in. 

You checked the time from your antique chain watch, looking at how classes should have ended five minutes ago for Daphne. But then again, she was having Professor Binns’ History of Magic so he would have gone overtime without knowing. 

“Silly old ghost,” you muttered to yourself as you placed the watch back into your sling bag. You were lucky you didn’t have to fill another class like Binn’s into your schedule unlike Daphne who was advised to take History of Magic if she wanted to become a professor. 

“I can agree with you,” came the voice who replied to you. Looking up, you saw Cormac McLaggen walking towards you slowly with his hands in his robe pockets, smirking at you. “Too bad I still have him this year,” his hand pressed the wall, making his body closely face yours. 

“How unfortunate,” you tried sounding as lively as possible. 

The obnoxious boy let out a laugh, thinking you were interested in the conversation he started, pulled up his History of Magic book and waved it in front of you. “I was thinking,” he said looking at the book, “If you could tut-”

Daphne Greengrass was the first one to have forcefully brushed the doors of the classroom you were standing by open, storming out with a sigh of relief as she saw your figure waiting by. 

“Merlin’s beard!,” she boomed, “Thank you so much for waiting, Y/N.” She looked tired as if she slept through the whole class time but seeing that she drew on her arms with her quill meant that she was wide awake, bored out of her mind as she did not want to write useful information from the class. 

When she looked at the person who was closely in front of you, she knew what she had to do as she pulled you by the arm and said, “We have to go! Uh,” she looked down, left and right, thinking of a quick excuse, “The boys want to meet us!” She looked at Cormac who seemed uncomfortable hearing that there were boys who were more valued than his time. “Beat it, McLaggen.” she said as she dragged you away from the scene, going wherever was the farthest from him. 

“The boys, huh? Very specific of you, Daph,” you laughed. Turning left and then turning right, the two of you had entered the Great Hall, the nearest place with the most people to use as a way to hide from ill men like Cormac. 

“Right,” she exhaled from running so quickly. “We’re okay here?” 

“I suppose,” you shrugged, “I actually would love a snack anyways.” 

The two had gone to the ends of the Slytherin table which was the edge facing the professors’ table when they usually had their meals. While you were placing your bag by your side, Daphne had already asked for pumpkin juice and sandwiches from the elves. 

When she was finished ordering, she looked at you with concerned eyes as she placed a hand on your shoulder. “Sorry class took long. I bet if Binns was aware of the time, you wouldn’t have encountered that slimy boy.” 

“It’s alright, Daphne. I just hate how there are still so many ill-minded boys in this school who think they can just claim me as their own. I wish I wasn’t some magnet to them,” you sighed, laughing. 

Daphne nudged your shoulder, shaking her head from left to right. “Don’t ever say that! You’re lucky boys go after a beautiful girl like you, but sadly they go after you in the wrong way. You just need to learn how to defend yourself without anyone helping you.”

“True, but I suppose having a boyfriend would be nice too,” you joked. Daphne rolled her eyes in a joking manner as she drank from her pumpkin juice. 

“Sign me up too, Y/N,” she sighed, “Oh Merlin, why can’t you help me out!,” Daphne looked up to the ceiling, pretending to pray for a miracle. 

While you were laughing your arse off, footsteps belonging to a group were walking towards your end of the table. You only noticed when a body slid into the table, sitting beside you. 

“Gone nuts haven’t we, Greengrass?,” said the voice. 

Daphne and you turned to the right, looking at Draco and his gang who had just arrived with a grand meal through the magic of the elves. 

Your friend nodded, taking in another sip of her pumpkin juice. “Crazy times we live in, Malfoy.”

Draco gave a small nod in return, then looked at you, giving you a friendly warm smile. As he smiled from his mouth, it was also as if his gray eyes were smiling as well. 

“Afternoon, Y/N,” he politely greeted you, “I would have assumed by your childish laugh that you had gone nuts as well, but then again, I can’t picture you going nuts, especially over someone trying to ask Merlin helplessly.”

The whining ‘Hey, I’m right here!’ from Daphne was ignored and spaced out as you were in the zone with Draco’s conversation. 

You smiled as a result of hearing the smooth comment the platinum blonde had given you. Stroking a loose hair strand behind your ear, you shyly looked down. 

“Well, Draco. I’m full of surprises. I could go nuts any minute by now.,” you replied, looking back up as if your confidence had just brought you back alive. 

“Not on my watch, Y/L/N. Besides, what could possibly drive you nuts? You’re one of the most calm people around school. You don’t have annoying people such as saint Potter on your shoulder everyday.” 

Scoffing, you shook your head, denying the things he had just said. That was by far the most untrue statement anyone had ever told you. Your whole life constantly revolved around people trying to hook up with you and trying to fend off those same people. 

“Have you ever seen the countless mindless boys who try asking me on a date?,” you laughed. “It’s not fun to decline their offers.” 

Draco’s face had hardened as he knew what you were talking about. The way he commented how he assumed you didn’t have people on your backs to fend off was all bluffs. He had seen the evil minded boys who had tried to get physically close to you, and he even heard many betting which one would claim you as theirs that he even threatened to hex most of them whenever you weren’t around. 

“Why would you decline them? Surely you’d want to go on a date with someone.”

You tilted your head, “Yes, I would but most of these boys don’t have the right intentions. I can somehow feel it.” 

Draco nodded, understanding what you meant. He took a lowkey angry bite off his sandwich, visualizing the many boys he would often overhear by the corridors. 

“I can assure you that there’s only a few boys with the right mindset,” he stood up, causing his group to stand up as well. He looked at you with careful eyes, “You take care, Y/N. See you back at the common room. Excuse us.” 

You waved goodbye, smiling pleasantly at Draco as he turned around, leading his group out of the Great Hall. Daphne could see the way you smiled at Draco, treating him differently from the rest of the other boys in school. She nudged you in the shoulder again, making you finally turn back to her with a dazed look. 

“I know Malfoy’s.. Well Malfoy, but he’s quite nicer than the rest of the boys in school towards you.” she detected. 

“He seems like it.” you agreed. 

--

Potions class with the Slytherins was a joined class with the Gryffindors. This was one of the many classes that you had with other houses and one of the few that was shared with the Gryffindors. Today was promised by Professor Snape to be an interactive class. 

So aside from the usual potion experiments, Snape informed everyone that today’s experiments would be done in the way wherein he would pick pre-made pairs from his list to do the experiment together. 

While you were hoping to be paired with Daphne or anyone that was willing to let aside the ill-minded questions on their minds to focus on the experiment with you, Draco was hoping to be paired with you. 

Being a table behind you, he didn’t have to look back at you and pray that he was going to be paired with you. He had the chance to look in front of him and watch your reaction when you finally get picked to be with him. 

To kill the suspension throughout the whole classroom, Snape grabbed the list on his desk and stood in front of the class. 

“Greengrass and Zabini.” 

Draco watched as Daphne, your seatmate, pouted and waved goodbye as she moved out of her seat to be with Blaise. He felt like Merlin was in his side as the chances of being paired with you only grew higher. 

“Potter and Granger.” 

Draco rolled his eyes and wanted to throw his head back. ‘Nobody gives a damn!’ he impatiently said to himself. 

“Y/L/N and McLaggen.” 

Draco’s heart felt like stopping as he heard a name that was not his be paired with you. He looked at McLaggen who smirked to himself as he started moving his way to your table. 

“Malfoy and Weasley.”

“Oh, come on!” Ron complained, only for Snape to smack him in the head with his list. Draco was too discontented to see Cormac take the spot he was yearning for that he didn’t even have the emotion to bark at Ron for being his partner. 

Throughout the entire experiment, Draco’s eyes were on the table in front of him. As every second passed, he kept praying that Cormac would somehow get poisoned from inhaling whatever ingredients he could have misplaced, making him run to the Hospital Wing so he could stop looking at you with such puppy eyes. 

Despite being the best potion student of the class, Draco was really off his game. He couldn’t stop paying attention to you that he would single-handedly make little mistakes throughout the whole experiment that Ron started getting annoyed by. Even if Ron wasn’t one of the best potions students, he had to fix the mistakes Draco kept filling in with. 

“Bloody hell, Malfoy. I thought you were the top of our class!” Ron complained as he picked up the ingredients Draco had dropped, assuming that he placed it in the pot. “Why are you so lousy all of a sudden?” 

Draco definitely did not hear a single word Ron had said as his eyes and ears were on you and McLaggen. He was listening to how you were trying your best to be patient with Cormac. He was a mess just like Draco, only to find out that he was always a mess in potions. He wasn’t as keen and smart as Draco in this class - he was far from that. He couldn’t tell which ingredient was which, which made you wonder how he’s been getting by with potions class. 

“Why don’t I do the experiment for us?” you irritatingly suggested. “You can still experience the experiment by observing.” 

“I’m terribly sorry, Y/N,” Cormac playfully pouted, “I’m such a mess when it comes to these things.”

Draco rolled his eyes, muttering to himself that Cormac was indeed a terrible mess in general. He then watched Cormac rest his head on the palms of his hand as he watched you continue with the experiment like a hopelessly in-love puppy. Draco wanted to smack the head of Cormac for being such an annoying person, not doing his job, and looking at you in the way he wanted to look at you. 

“You know, Y/N,” Cormac said, “You’re really good at potions. I bet you do all sorts of talents with your hands.” 

Draco narrowed his eyes in anger, holding the table with such grip as he was trying to compose himself from breaking out and hexing the life out of Cormac. How dare him have the audacity to say such a thing to you! Where were his manners? This was an outrage! Draco couldn’t take it anymore. He looked at you, heavily focused on the experiment that you did not hear the last thing Cormac said. 

“Uh-huh.” was all you said. 

“Do you think you could perhaps tutor me in potions?” Cormac asked, “I know a secluded spot for the two of us in the library.” He wriggled his eyes, expecting that you were going to turn to him and accept the offer gladly. 

“No thanks, McLaggen.” you nonchalantly declined the offer as you were still focused on brewing the experiment. “Pass me the whisk, will you?” 

As Cormac passed the whisk, there was a lingering touch from his hand as he tried feeling the smoothness of your hand for a little longer. You turned to look at a grinning McLaggen as you aggressively took the whisk away from him, removing his touch from you with a disgusted look. 

“You’re welcome.” Cormac sounded as if he depended on the thanks he was waiting for. You just gave him a scoff as you didn’t even bother looking back at him. 

Draco was furious from the inside. He asked himself, ‘How could Merlin bring such a badly behaved and disgusting person like Cormac McLaggen into this world?’ As he angrily chopped more ingredients, he couldn’t stand witnessing monstrosities like this. Then again, there were many boys that probably tried courting you without him there, so the unknown number of attempts that he wasn’t there to fend off made him grow more furious than he already was. 

--

After class, you made your way to the one place where you could easily gather your thoughts. 

The Black Lake. 

If Draco Malfoy claimed the Astronomy Tower as ‘his place’, then the Black Lake was yours. You didn’t have to travel a flight of stairs to gather your thoughts. It only took you a good walk away from the castle to make it to the famous lake. 

The Black Lake was the place where you could distress yourself from the immense workload your classes would give you. It was the place where you could talk to yourself, vent and rant to yourself about the things that bother you. It was the place you could be at for hours. 

There were barely people who normally hung around the lake as they were scared of Merpeople dragging them into the water. It was nonsense. Of course there were merpeople but people had to understand that they lived in the bottom of the lake. Why would they swim to the top-most part of the lake and attempt dragging people down with them?

When you finally arrived at your favorite place, you rested your back on one of the massive rocks by the trees to get a perfect view of the lake. You opened up your Defense Against the Dark Arts book, attempting to learn more things in advance. This class may have not been your strongest class, but it wasn’t the weakest class either. But either way, you wanted to do some advance reading since you did not have anything else to do for the day. 

“Now,” you said, turning to the next page, “Which spell should I learn today?” Your eyes were looking through familiar spells that you either have tried out before or did not interest you. You flipped to more pages, searching for more interesting spells but you ran out of luck. The ones you wanted would have caused mass destruction in a place such as the Black Lake. Also, extreme spells were not allowed to be practiced alone. 

Feeling defeated, you closed your Defense Against the Dark Arts Book and sighed, placing it back on your bag. “I suppose watching the Lake for awhile would suffice,” you said to yourself as you hugged your knees, watching the body of water that the lake had embodied. 

“Perhaps I could be of use for entertainment.” said a voice that had come out of nowhere. 

Surprised by the voice, you had looked left and right to see where the voice might have come from. But there was nobody. Suddenly, hands covered your eyes, blocking your sight and turning everything you saw into darkness. 

“Guess who.” said the same voice that had now whispered into your ear. The thrills that ran along your spine could only mean one thing. Cormac McLaggen. You furiously grabbed a hold of his hands and shoved it away from your eyes as you stood up, turning around to push the playful Gryffindor. 

“What the hell, McLaggen!” you screamed, walking a few steps backwards. 

Cormac cheekily smiled, walking a few steps towards you. “Come on, sweetcheeks. I know you’re just trying to play hard to get with silly old me.”

Your eyebrows narrowed in anger as you have heard the most ridiculous thing from his mouth. “You’re out of your mind. I despise boys like you who think they can just come up to me and act all playful with me. Why can’t you bark up another tree for once?!” 

Cormac pulled you and forcefully pressed you against the nearest tree. He stroked your cheek with his left hand while his right hand was carefully holding you tightly in your waist. He leaned into your ear, whispering, “Because,” he said, “you are-”

“STUPEFY!” casted a voice. 

Cormac’s body had flown off of you and into the ground, ten meters away from you. You exhaled in relief and saw that it was Draco Malfoy who had casted the spell. When he saw that Cormac was unconscious for a second, his eyes went to you. He ran towards you, placing his hands on your shoulder, looking up and down to see if you were hurt. “Are you okay, Y/N? Dammit, if only I had gotten here faster. Merlin’s beard I swear, I already threatened that asshole twice today. If he-”

“MALFOY” Cormac yelled as the Gryffindor tried properly standing on his own. 

Draco saw that McLaggen was almost on his feet. To stall things, he had quickly casted a “Glisseo”, resulting in Cormac to slip and fall on his own bottom as the spell caused him to flatten steps into a slide. Once Cormac fell once again, Draco looked at you with concerned eyes, “My dear, are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I am now that you’re here.” you honestly told him. “He just happened to get in the way, honestly.” 

“Right, well, it’s time I show you what I've been trying to do ever since vile gits like him have been trying to get on you.” Draco said, looking now at Cormac. “Oy!”

Cormac stood up, looking at Draco with sore eyes. 

“Yeah, you great ugly brute! Come at me, Gryffindork!” Draco confidently opened himself. 

McLaggen infuriatingly started dashing towards Draco as if he was a bull that saw Draco holding up a red flag. Before he could jump and tackle Draco onto the ground, Draco did the opposite of lowering his wand and casting, “Wingardium Leviosa!” on Cormac, who began levitating off the ground. 

Your mouth opened with excitement as Cormac demanded that he be let down immediately. Draco’s wand then pointed at the Black Lake which dragged Cormac’s body above the cold-icy lake. When Cormac had realized where he was being placed, there was fear in his eyes as he started whimpering, apologizing and crying. 

“Shall we drench him?” Draco shouted, pretending he was the ringleader of a carnival. 

“No, no, please don’t!” Cormac begged. 

“I think we should!” Draco sounded happy. “And into the water you go!” With that, Draco pointed his wand to the water, bringing Cormac in for a sweet drench. Then Draco abruptly brought him back on air, only for him to place him back on the water. The action of bringing Cormac back down and back up was done continuously for a good five minutes as Draco was amused and entertained by what he was seeing. 

It was funny at first to watch, but five minutes was enough for you. You started to feel bad for Cormac even if he was an awful person to you. 

“Draco?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” 

Draco scoffed and laughed. “Don’t you think he deserves extreme consequences?” 

“True, but I think that should be enough.” 

“In a minute, I’m nearly satisfied with my doings.” 

Seeing that Draco was focused on the punishment he was giving Cormac, you thought of one way that could possibly prevent him from continuing his doings. You walked closer to him, slowly enveloping him with a soft hug. 

Being unfamiliar with such actions from someone like you, Draco without delay, had lowered his wand, resulting in dropping Cormac into the water, possibly sinking him into the depths of the lake as the water that day was extremely cold. 

The platinum blonde had surprisingly hugged you back even softer than expected as he brushed the strokes of your hair. He placed his chin on your head as he closed his eyes, taking in the fact that the two of you were hugging each other. 

“Thank you, it means a lot to me.” you said.

“I promise you, Y/N, that I will always be there for you. Whether it be fending off jokes like McLaggen or comforting you in any possible way, I assure you, I will be there for you. I won’t let you off my sight.”

“That’s good,” you smiled, “I’m going to do the same thing for you.” 

[jaskiersvalley]

I must say that i fucking love your writing ❤❤❤❤my heart melts by how much Jaskier cares and loves his wolves. Just, god, so wonderful! Thank you so much!

There is something so good about Jaskier looking after all his wolves, isn’t there? And I’ve been thinking about Kaer Morhen and how it’s a place where witchers go to rest over winter. What would happen if we turned that on its head? This goes against everything canon but...have I ever been known to stick to canon here?

Each winter, Geralt returned to Kaer Morhen while Jaskier went his own way. It was an arrangement that suited them both, even if Geralt left it until the very last moment before leaving. Really, Jaskier just put it down to his sparkling, magnetic personality that Geralt was finding difficult to give up. At least, that was what he thought until he suggested that they spend a winter together. There was nowhere Jaskier really had to be and he was curious to see the crumbling remains of Kaer Morhen. Geralt was so sparse with details of the place, if Jaskier wanted to write epics about it, he would need to see it for himself.

After some hesitation where Geralt actually looked cagey, Jaskier turned big, pleading eyes at him and got a nod of agreement. Excitement had Jaskier’s heart soaring. He was finally going to see the nesting ground of witchers, see them at their most relaxed and in company of family. They stocked up a cart with salted meats and dried fruits along with any other things Geralt deemed necessary.

The trek up to Kaer Morhen was long, exhausting and Jaskier hated every moment of it. He couldn’t fathom why it had to be so winding, narrow and dangerous. One false move and it would be a slow yet certain death. Arriving at the keep, there was no warm greeting, no reunion of family. The food wasn’t taken to a communal kitchen or pantry. Instead, Jaskier and Geralt hauled everything up to a sparse bedroom and piled into a corner.

Other witchers arrived too, silent and slinking in the shadows. Geralt nodded at them but didn’t speak much. The most interaction they had with each other was on the training grounds. It looked gruelling. Jaskier winced at the blows they delivered to each other, breaking skin, pummelling each other, only to have Vesemir tell them where they were weak and useless. Suddenly, Jaskier understood why Lambert rebelled against being a witcher, why he hated it so much. All through the years, Jaskier had believed that winter was when Geralt could relax, spend time with family and not be wary. But instead, he was pushed harder, made to train, fight against his brothers with desperate brutality. Food was scarce, what they managed to bring with them had to be what lasted for the winter.

Things came to a head when Jaskier found Eskel in the stables, whispering apologies to a goat for not having enough food for them all. He looked miserable, clutching the goat to his chest, knife set to the side and ready, It was heartbreaking, awful and Jaskier had had enough. He’d snapped then and dragged Eskel up to Geralt’s room and gave him some of his own food.

“What are you doing?” Vesemir had looked disapproving when he found out.

“Your job.” Jaskier was livid, fury made him fearless. “You call this home? This isn’t family. This is a survival camp of the worst kind. You’re turning them on each other.”

He didn’t know what response he’d expected, Vesemir was a witcher and older than Jaskier could hope to live in the span of three lifetimes. Yet when the old witcher snarled, he didn’t back down.

“What would you have them do? Go soft over winter? Have them spoilt rotten so they don’t want to leave in the new season? Or if they do, they’ll be slow and reliant on others? No, they need to remember that the Path is a better place for them. This is how they get back out there each year.”

It was the most ridiculous logic Jaskier had ever heard. To make a winter so bad, witchers want to stay on the Path was disgusting. He sneered and glared at Vesemir.

“These aren’t the 900s, we live in modern times now. And I will not stand for your tyranny and bullying.”

Their altercation had been watched quietly by Eskel but also drew in Geralt and Lambert who were hovering behind Vesemir. Jaskier stared him down. “I’ll prove it. You just watch.”

With some help, he got Geralt and his stash of food down into the kitchen. Eskel brought his meagre pile down too, muttering shamefully about not having enough coin for more. However, Lambert lingered, hesitant.

“What do you want to trade?”

“No trade.” Jaskier shook his head. “We’re in this together. Everyone brings what they can, you’re brothers, not enemy.”

That evening, Lambert still hadn’t brought his stash down but Jaskier still served him a bowl of watery stew he had managed to put together from what was in the pantry. There was even a bowl left by Vesemir’s door. The next morning, Lambert’s stash had been added to the pantry.

Training was another battleground between Vesemir and Jaskier. They stood either side of the court, announcing they were both offering training. Strangely, Lambert was the first to head for Jaskier and it was just the two of them that morning, loyalty and fear making Eskel and Geralt stick with Vesemir.

Three days later, Geralt, head down, shuffled to Jaskier’s end of the training grounds and he sat down next to Lambert. As far as he could see, there had been no physical training or anything strenuous Lambert had been forced to do. It might change but he wanted a moment of peace, even if it was half a morning. Instead, he got offered a warm fur to settle in and Jaskier tried to draw him and Lambert into idle conversation.

After lunch, like a beaten dog, Eskel slunk closer. In the distance, Vesemir stood rigid, glaring. Jaskier looked up and set his book of poetry aside.

“Vesemir!” He shouted as the lone witcher turned to leave. Breaking into a run, Jaskier rounded on him and, without any preamble, pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay. You did what you thought you had to. Let me help though.”

It was one of the most miserable winters Jaskier had ever had. Despite careful rationing and pooling of resources, it was still a tough time. By the end of it, he could see the witchers were eager to leave, to get out of Kaer Morhen. Even with his care and gentle approach, the keep held too many bad memories, too many bad habits.

“Next winter, don’t come here. Come to Lettenhove. All of you.” It was a generous offer but the witchers obviously didn’t know just what he was offering. One by one, they agreed except for Vesemir. “You too, Ves,” Jaskier clarified. “Come and let me show you a winter you’re worthy of.”

The year passed, the witchers let loose from Kaer Morhen and dispersing without so much as a look over their shoulders. Spring melded into summer which bled into autumn. As winter approached, Jaskier made arrangements, had rooms prepared for potential visitors and returned home with Geralt in tow.

First at the door was Lambert, looking gaunt and exhausted. The year had obviously not been kind to him, his coin pouch looked light and that was without any supplies he needed to buy for the winter. He was shown to a room and Jaskier found him staring at the soft bed, not daring to touch it.

“You sure that’s for me?”

Jaskier simply helped take his armour off and pushed him into the bed, tucking him in. He would have laughed at the way Lambert looked so bewildered by the gentleness if his heart hadn’t been too busy breaking over the same thing.

Next, Eskel arrived, goat in tow. He was given a room of his own and Jaskier smiled when he was presented with a book of poetry as thanks for his hospitality. It was one he’d mentioned back at Kear Morhen as having never been able to get hold of. Chances were, it had cost Eskel a pretty penny.

When Vesemir knocked on the door, he looked deeply uncomfortable, as if expecting the whole thing to be a trap or to be turned away. He had a cart piled up with food for the season already. Jaskier showed him to his room without batting an eyelash.

Winter was so much better. The witchers still trained but there wasn’t the edge of desperation to their fights. Sometimes it was downright playful, Lambert clinging to Eskel and refusing to be thrown while Geralt pelted them with snowballs. There were other changes too. Slowly, the witchers softened. That wasn’t to say they lost their muscles, they still trained, kept sharp but there was a layer that Jaskier fondly referred to as ‘puppy fat’ on them. They weren’t locked away in a crumbling, cold keep and struggling to survive for another year. Instead, they were thriving.

While Eskel never strayed beyond the boundaries of the home, Lambert was out frequently. The one time he came home dejected because someone made a snide comment about how a witcher should be left out in the cold wilderness to freeze, Jaskier had gone out, a cheap lute in hand. He came back without said lute but the next day there were rumours Lambert heard of how the Viscount hand smashed a lute over someone’s head. After that, nobody dared question the appearance of witchers in the town. It was a well known fact that they were guests of Jaskier and were to be treated as such.

Vesemir’s last walls came crumbling down when, over dinner, rather than snapping and snarling at each other, the other witchers chattered away happily and Lambert laughed. It wasn’t the bitter, hollow bark of before. Instead, he leaned into Eskel with easy familiarity and giggled. Finally, Vesemir understood and he had no idea what to do with the regret and shame that witchers allegedly never felt. And yet, despite everything, a solid warmth settled on his left. Jaskier looked up at him with a smile. Someone settled on his other side and Eskel offered a soft shoulder nudge. It was Geralt who boxed him in from behind, hands on Vesemir’s shoulders and squeezing.

“You’re alright, old man,” Lambert said. “You did your best and what you thought was right.”

Come spring, the witchers were all raring to go, healthy, healed and ready to return to the path. They knew they had their roles and destiny to fulfil, wouldn’t even consider shirking their duties. However, now they had more of a reason to survive rather than sheer spite and not knowing how to die. Instead, they knew that, come winter, they would have a family once again.

[uomo-accattivante]

I recently came across a bunch of press articles and photos about Oscar Isaac that are so old, they appear to be out-of-print and pre-date social media. Considering they were probably never digitally transcribed for internet access, I’m guessing that the majority of current fans have never seen this stuff.

Even though a lot of these digital scans are challenging to read because they are the original fuzzy news print, I think there some gems worth sharing with you guys. Over the next several weeks, I will transcribe and share those gems on this page. Hope you enjoy them!

Let’s start with this fantastic 2001 profile piece done before Oscar was accepted into Juilliard:

South Florida’s rising star isn’t just acting the part

By Christine Dolen - cdolen@herald.com

February 4, 2001

As fifth-graders at Westminster Christian School in Miami, Oscar Isaac and his classmates were asked to write a story as if they were animals on Noah’s Ark. Oscar turned in a seven-page play – with original music – from the perspective of a platypus. Then he starred in the production his teacher directed.

He hasn’t stopped expressing himself creatively since. Today, Isaac is one of South Florida’s busiest young theater actors, and certainly its hottest. And not just because he’s a slender five-feet nine-inches tall with an expressively handsome face and glistening brown eyes.

Since making his professional debut as a Cuban hustler in Sleepwalkers at Area Stage in July 1999, he has played an explosive Vietnam vet in Private Wars for Horizons Repertory, a pot-smoking slacker in This Is Our Youth at GableStage, another Cuban on the make in Praying With the Enemy at the Coconut Grove Playhouse, the entrancing narrator of Side Man at GableStage, a Havana-based writer in Arrivals and Departures for the new Oye Rep and, most recently, a young Fidel Castro in When It’s Cocktail Time in Cuba at New York’s Cherry Lane Theater.

Beginning Wednesday, he’ll be juggling five roles in City Theatre’s annual Winter Shorts festival, first at the Colony Theatre in Miami Beach, then at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. But that is not all: During the two weeks he is doing Winter Shorts, he’ll also be playing dates with the punk-ska band The Blinking Underdogs (www.blinkingunderdogs.com), which features him as lead singer, guitarist and songwriter.

Oh, and he just got back from auditioning for New York’s prestigious Juilliard School of Drama.

All this for a guy a month shy of his 22nd birthday.

Sure, you could hate a guy who’s that talented, that charismatic, that transparently ambitious. But the people who have worked with Oscar Isaac don’t. On the contrary, they’re all sure he has it – that magical, can’t-be-taught thing that transforms an actor into a star.

Playwright Eduardo Machado, who put in a good word for Isaac at Juilliard, says “he does have that star quality that makes your eyes go to him. It’s great that someone with that talent still wants to train.”

“He has a star quality that’s rare in a young actor,” adds Joseph Adler, who directed him in Side Man and This Is Our Youth. “Without a doubt I expect to be hearing great things from him.”

‘I JUST LOVE CREATING’

Isaac, who also makes short films, can’t say exactly why he was attracted to acting. He just knows it makes him happier than anything, that it’s what he was meant to do. And he’s been doing it since he was a 4-year-old putting on plays in his family’s backyard with his sister Nicole.

“I just love creating, whether it’s music or films or a character on a stage. I love taking people for a ride,” he says. “In Side Man, every night I would love being that close to the audience. I felt like I was talking to 80 of my closest friends.

“I could feel what the audience was feeling.”

His powerful, mournful-yet-loving monologue near the end of the play, he said, “worked every night. I knew it would get them. I’d hear sniffles.

“But it had less to do with me than with the atmosphere [created by the playwright and director].”

You could understand if Isaac, surrounded as he is by praise and possibility, had an ego as burgeoning as his career. Instead, he channels the positive reinforcement into confidence about his work.

“He has such a charm and an ease onstage, but he’s very modest,” says New York-based actress Judith Delgado, who shared the stage with Isaac in Side Man. “He’s hungry. He’s got moxie. I was blown away by him.

“He saved me a couple of times. I went up [forgot a line] and that baby boy of mine came through. He’s a joy.”

FORGING HIS OWN PATH

The son of a Cuban-American father and a Guatemalan mother, Isaac was never a stellar student. But he found ways of turning routine assignments – like the Noah’s Ark story – into creative challenges.

His science reports were inevitably video documentaries underscored with punk music. He acted through middle and high school, though he had a falling out with his drama teacher at Santaluces Community High in Lantana over his misgivings about a character. When she refused to cast him in anything else, he got his English teacher to let him play the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors his senior year.

His skepticism about authority and love of playing the devil’s advocate have long made him resist doing things the usual way. His post-high school “training” consisted of one semester at Miami-Dade Community College’s South Campus (where he met his girlfriend, Maria Miranda), touring schools playing an abusive character in the Coconut Grove Playhouse’s Breaking the Cycle, and working as a transporter of bodies at Baptist Hospital, where he absorbed the drama of people in emotionally intense situations.

“It was the most magnificent dramatic institute I could’ve attended,” Isaac said. “I was able to observe the entire spectrum of human emotion, people under the most extreme duress. I was mesmerized watching the way people interacted with each other in such heightened situations.

“I learned everything about the human condition, and it was real and harsh and brutally honest.”

Yet even given his propensity for forging his own path, something nudged him another direction while he was in New York making his Off-Broadway debut in December. Walking by Juilliard one day, he impulsively went in to ask for an application. Though the application deadline had passed, Isaac persuaded Juilliard to accept his, noting in his application essay that most of the exceptional actors he admires had acquired “a brutally efficient technique” to enhance their talent by studying at places like Juilliard.

Though he won’t know whether he has been accepted until the end of this month, his audition last weekend went well, he says. He did monologues from Henry IV, Part I and Dancing at Lughnasa, adjusting his Shakespearean Hotspur to a more fiery temperature at the suggestion of Michael Kahn, head of Juilliard’s acting program – though not without arguing that Hotspur wouldn’t be speaking to the king that way.

Isaac, not surprisingly, loves a good debate.

Adler, GableStage’s artistic director and a man who is as liberal as Isaac once was conservative, savored the verbal jousting they did during rehearsals for Side Man.

“He knows exactly how to pull my chain,” Adler says with a laugh. “Intelligence is the cornerstone of all great actors, and he’s bright as hell.

“He has relentless ambition but with so much charm. He’s very hard to say no to. He has incredible raw talent and magnetism that is very rare in a young actor along with relentless energy, perseverance and ambition. I see his growth both onstage and off. He’s mature in both places.”

Part of his growth, of course, will necessarily involve dealing with the rejections that are part of any actor’s life. His career is still too new, his string of successes solid, so it’s anyone’s guess how failure will shape him. But director Michael John Garcés, who picked him for When It’s Cocktail Time in Cuba after Isaac flew to New York at his own expense to compete with a pool of seasoned Manhattan actors for the role, believes his character will see him through.

“Oscar is realistic, but he’s so willing to go the whole nine yards,” Garcés says. “He didn’t go out when he was in the show here. His focus earned the respect of the other actors, some of whom have been working in New York for 30 years.

“He hasn’t had a lot of blows yet, when the career knocks the wind out of you. But he has talent, determination and focus, and if he has perseverance – my intuition is that he does have it – he could achieve a lot.”

FAMILY TIES

His father and namesake, Baptist Hospital intensive-care physician Oscar Isaac Hernandez, couldn’t be more proud. (Isaac doesn’t use the family surname in order to avoid, in his words, being “put in that Hispanic actor box.”)

“I’m ecstatic that he’s probably going to be going to the most prestigious drama school in the United States,” he says. “School will help him focus his energies and give him discipline. He’s got the raw material and the drive.”

Isaac’s mother, Maria, divorced from his father since 1992, is a kidney-transplant recipient who acknowledges that she’ll miss her son if he moves to New York. But, she adds, she wants him “to live out his dreams. He amazes me every day. He calls me every day. I’m very proud of him.”

Even the other guys in The Blinking Underdogs are fans of Isaac’s acting, though it could take him away from South Florida just as the band appears to be, Isaac says, on the brink of signing a recording deal (it has already put out its own CD, The Last Word, with songs, lead vocals and even cover photography by Isaac.

“Oscar’s the leader of the band, a great musician who amazes me and motivates us,” says sax player Keith Cooper. “I’ve been to see every one of his plays. He’s a phenomenal actor.

“I completely buy into his role in every play. As close as I am to him, I forget it’s Oscar.”

His South Florida theater colleagues credit that to Isaac’s insatiable desire to learn and grow.

Gail Garrisan, who is directing him in Donnie and One of the Great Ones for Winter Shorts, observes, “It’s not often that you find a young actor who is willing to listen and who doesn’t think he knows everything. He loves the work.

“He really brought the young man in Side Man to life. When I saw it in New York, it seemed to be the father’s play. When I saw it here, I felt it was his [Isaac’s] play.”

Oye Rep’s John Rodaz, whom Isaac calls “the best director I’ve ever worked with,” gave the actor his first important job in Sleepwalkers at Area Stage. They met when Isaac came to see Area’s production of Oleanna and the actor, knowing Rodaz ran the theater, introduced himself.

“He has so much energy and such a sparkling personality,” Rodaz says. “He knows how to move in the world. He seems to take advantage of every situation in a good way; he’s not a cold, calculating person who’ll stab you in the back.

“[But] he wants it so badly. Everything he does, he’s the leader. When I was 21, I was taking naps.”

Rodaz coached Isaac on his Juilliard monologues and found the experience energizing.

“I got chills just watching him. That happens so rarely. I was so exhilarated when I came home that I just had to go out and run. You just know he’s got all the tools.”

Christine Dolen is The Herald’s theater critic.

###

[border-spam]

Leech Lord - Whispers in the dark

The Leech takes everything and gives nothing.

It hates the twins in a way we can’t fathom, humans aren’t what it is. It doesn’t think or speak, it only feels, and the loathing that it pulses with towards these pathetic, broken insects that imprisoned and ripped it from the great song is incomprehensible.

No escape, no end, no way to be whole - just its warped voice split between two ignorant, useless parasites. It wants to hurt them, it wants them to suffer, so it gnaws at any flash of joy they experience. Tears apart what gives them comfort. 

...Eats them alive.

Tyreen’s great drive to find Pandora was fuelled by it, whispering promises of belonging, of family, of love into the ear of a teen who hadn’t felt any of those since Leda crumbled to ash by her feet. 

It insisted Typhon was wrong, the Bandit’s weren’t mad, they were lost. 

Everyone knows Pandorans are crazy. Everyone knows the "natives" that scour across the desert in warpaint and masks are a family of lost souls looking for belonging. The Leech whispers to Tyreen DeLeon that she could be their redemption, their mother, and she sets her plans to leave her prison planet in motion. They are her people, the abandoned and lonely it says. She can be their God.

It turned it’s teeth to the parts of Tyreen that were able to experience happiness the moment her feet touched Pandora’s dust and the Eridium it had been seeking to feed on didn’t respond. She was a dud. She was a broken, useless joke of a Siren host, and it raged.

Troy never stood a chance.

Without its presence he’d be naturally quiet, his low self esteem is part of his nature, though it would be manageable. The Leech hurts him through his flaws - the cracks in his ego. His own doubts creep into his worries, but once he reaches the end of that train of thought? It continues. He survives every day with something whispering horrific shit into his ear even as he struggles to find ways of dealing with his own negative feelings, his paranoia and insecurities. It twists the knife a little deeper with every hissed mockery, and it’s done it his whole life.

So it's.. sad. It's just sad. Troy covets so much that his companions have. Love, friendship, care, but he can’t accept what he wants so desperately. The Siren power takes that from him.

If someone like JK who he admires so much, who he has on a mental pedestal and wishes he could be more like, offhandedly mentioned something about him they admired? It’s robbed from him. He’d have the moment of disbelief, the embarrassed shyness, the excitement then embarrassment over the excitement, the stuttering and confusion and that kind of flushed cheek slightly teary eyed response from someone who’s terrible at accepting positive comments about themselves... but then it's the filth from The Leech just after.

The moment he had a flash of happiness and maybe the first blossom of something that could be considered pride, it would be there:

"̶ They're w̵r̴o̵n̵g̴,̴ ̸ or they are l̷y̶i̶n̶g̸.̵"̸  

̴"̸T̸h̸e̸y̵ ̴a̶r̶e  making fun of̵ ̵y̸o̴u̴. Y̵o̷u̵'̷r̵e not so stup̸i̶d̸ ̵t̸h̴a̷t you'd believe th̸i̶s̷,̶ ̶ you're smarter than that. Yo̴u̷'̴r̸e̸ ̷c̸l̵e̵ver.  ̴O̵f̴ ̷c̸o̴u̶r̷s̸e that's a lie, w̷h̷y̷ ̷w̴o̵u̷l̵d anyone actually look up to you? Brok̷e̵n̵ ̵b̴o̸d̷y̶,̴ ̶r̶otting soul, w̶e̵a̵k̴ ̸b̸o̴nes and failing lungs? They ei̶t̶h̸e̷r̴ ̶d̴o̷ n't know what they are saying or they are spitting in your fac̴e̸.̴ ̴Which is it?̵ ̸W̸h̴i̴c̷h do ̴y̵o̴u̴ ̵t̶h̵i̸n̴k̸ ̶i̶t̷ ̵i̵s̵?̸"̸

̷"̷O̸h̷,̴ ̴t̵h̴ey are your friend? Are they, Tr̸o̴y̵?̵ ̶W̴e̵ll, then they don't know. Tell the̶m̸ ̷exactly h̴o̸w̵ ̷ wrong they are so they won't ever make that mistake again. Te̷l̶l̶ ̶t̴h̶e̶m̸ ̸w̸h̶y̵ ̷n̷o̵ one s̸h̸o̵u̵l̸d̸ ̵want you. ̷I̵t̷'̸s̷ ̷o̸k̵ ̴t̸o̸ ̷b̶e̶ ̵a̴n̵g̸r̴y, they should have known better. It's their fault."

̷"̵I̴t̶'̶s̸ ̷t̷h̶e̵i̶r̷ ̸f̷a̵u̶l̶t̶.̷"̷

That’s what he's dealing with, always. With everything his entire life, and it's not even in real words he can argue back with it's just feeling. Ty echos the exact same shit to him audibly and he tries to stand against it, always has, but it’s so much harder internally. He still fights it though, he always tries. He's exhausted by how much he has to work to keep it under control without even understanding what he's constantly fighting, and it's so very hard.

Seifa can't explain it even when she’s seen it so for so long - the struggle. Can't put it into a sentence she can express to the others, but she gets it.. an inkling of it, seen it behind his eyes so many times. She’s seen.. eyes. Or maybe she’s just going mad, that’s a pretty likely option too.

Understanding the war raging inside Troy is why she asks what she does in an encrypted E-Com message the night she leaves. Begs Ven not to hate him even after everything.

She knows that if he wasn't constantly fighting as hard as he is, there would just be nothing of him left. Every single interaction would be a nightmare - constant aggression, jealousy, envy, hatred lashing out at everything.

For people looking from the outside he seems like a pathetic excuse for a man child, throwing tantrums and destroying rooms, but in reality these episodes of giving in are so rare compared to how often he fights it back.

He's surprisingly good at hiding it which is why he can come across "normal" sometimes and also means he's desperately empathetic, but he's just not experienced with people enough to place that empathy the right way very often, or respond to it in a way that helps and doesn't actually make things worse.

That’s one of the reason his companions do actually like him still, why he’s magnetic in such a bizarre way. There is a clear awareness this man genuinely adores the few people who are kind enough to tolerate him and is trying, but there's a balance to consider. It doesn't matter if he's painfully aware he's driving people away if he doesn't correct the behavior doing it.

On top of everything really, there's Tyreen.

Ty's defacto way of dealing with feeling any competition for Troy's attention is to just remove the competitor. It’s always been that way from the day she first felt the pang of unease when he started talking to Seifa after a month of them recovering on her ship.

Troy.. . Troy talks to her, not other people, Troy is her brother, Troy is PART of her, why is it fair that he not be there when she needs him? When she’s lonely, when she needs his stupid smile and his terrible jokes and that pathetic stutter...

But she can't make the people he slowly befriends leave, they are all in positions of power where she isn't able to make them vanish without it being noticed, so she defaults to her second method.

Turn him on them.

For all his bullshittery, Troy tolerates about 6 years of having Tyreen lying to him in private about how the others see him, how much they care. Subtle, knife sharp, and building in viciousness over time till by late COV when he begins to fall apart, it's abusive mental warfare - and he never turns on them.

He breaks, he fucks up, he thinks Seifa is gone forever, he hurts JK, he works Ven to dust, but he never once turns on them in the way Tyreen has been seeding for years. He doesn't let her win even though he refuses to even admit he's aware what she's doing and how many times it’s happened in the past one way or another.

So shit piling up in those 2 years without Sei, the strain from Ty, the weird shift from media to murder to chasing a fucking VAULT, the no sleep, the fear for his friends even when he's also losing the fight against the thing that makes him spit venom at them?

He just can't do it forever.

The Leech takes everything and gives nothing.

Asks are open!

[backtothestart02]

Yoga Pants and Gray Sweatpants - 1/1 | grandice fanfiction

A/N: Soooo, I’ve decided to make a grandice fics series about them dating secretly while filming Flash. Idk what my next one will be, but this takes place after the previous one. Enjoy!

Inspired by convos I’ve shared with @jennlee44 & @smileyscorner04. Thanks, ladies!

...

Synopsis: Grant and Candice are not so good at breaking up.

...

There had been a leak.

Paparazzi had gotten some particularly intimate-looking photos of Grant and Candice onset. While they weren’t doing anything more than laughing and standing close to each other in most, there were a few where they were holding hands and their faces were particularly close.

The internet went wild while speculation.

No one had reached out to either of their agents yet, but Candice figured it was only a matter of time. This thing she had going with Grant had become too obvious. She broke it off, and no matter how hard Grant protested, she refused to go back on her decision.

She and Grant were done.

A week later Grant sat in his trailer, trying to memorize his lines, knowing that even if he did there was no way his acting would portray it properly. The break-up with Candice had started to affect his performance when the cameras were rolling, which had been Candice’s biggest fear from the beginning. He knew it only solidified her decision to break things off. If they got back together and broke up for real, because of an actual blow-up, their chemistry onset would never recover. At least with this it was something he just needed to force himself to get over and then everything would be fine.

But that was just it. He couldn’t ‘get over it’.

What had started as something mostly physical had grown quickly into something much deeper.

Grant wouldn’t say he was in love. He wasn’t that far gone. But he was definitely falling, and he wasn’t a fan of this new arrangement at all.

Unable to focus on his lines, he decided to go for a walk. After slipping on his shoes and a light jacket, he pushed open the door of his trailer only to find the object of his affection and anguish walking past wearing work-out clothes, particularly yoga pants.

He nearly fell out of his trailer.

“Candice!” he called, taking the steps carefully before closing the door behind him. “Wait up.”

She looked over her shoulder, and he had to force himself to look up from that delectable ass of hers, accentuated in those pants, to those deep, brown eyes that he nearly found himself drowning in.

“Grant,” she said, almost coldly.

He stopped dead in his tracks, wondering if he’d done something wrong. Had she caught him checking her out? Was this just how she was going to interact with him now that they were broken up? That didn’t seem fair. They could still be friends.

“Wh-Where are you going?” he asked, skipping over to her in two easy bounds.

“The gym,” she said, as if it was obvious. He supposed it was. “You?”

“I was going to go for a walk,” he said.

“Mm.” She nodded once.

“I could join you,” he suggested softly, leaning in a little closer.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” she said, tone clipped.

He frowned. “Why not? We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

“We’re exes, Grant,” she said, determined not to look at him. “Exes are not friends.”

He stopped suddenly, but she kept walking. His heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

Exes are not friends.

Well, hell.

…

Two days later, Grant and Candice, along with the crew and the director were all on set, and Candice thought she was going to die. She’d been avoiding Grant like the plague, ever since she’d broken things off with him. She hadn’t been cold to him since she’d met him. He was just so fun to be around, and she fed off that energy without even meaning to. It was what had drawn them together. He fed off her contagious energy too.

But she had to put a stop to that before any more rumors spread. For all she knew, their magnetic energy had been reported to the media by one of the crew eager for their 15 minutes of fame.

She knew it was affecting Grant’s performance though, and she felt bad about that. In the time she’d known him, she’d come to the realization very quickly that he had a difficult time separating what Barry was going through and what he was going through personally. Barry having such strong feelings for Iris, for example, had amplified his own feelings for her – Candice.

Now that they were broken up, she could see the struggle in him to light up as Barry around her as Iris when in reality she kept pushing him further and further away.

She couldn’t help it!

She was as upset over the break-up as he was. There was nothing more in life she wanted than to take it back and pick up where they’d left off. There were so many places they hadn’t hooked up yet. It had only been a week and a half, but she was already feeling sex-deprived. Specifically with Grant. She was feeling Grant sex-deprived, like she was in withdrawal.

But more than that, his magnetic energy, his smile, those gorgeous green eyes, and how he could just pick her up as if she was light as a feather, how he just understood her as no one else did, how they almost had their own language because they were just that in tune with each other.

She was falling for him.

That wasn’t going to stop whether they were broken up or not, and she hated it.

She hadn’t put on yoga pants the other day hoping to lure him out of his trailer. She’d legitimately intended on going to the gym to work out. Though more to work out her frustrations on not being able to work Grant out instead than actually maintaining her figure and staying healthy.

In fact, the reason her tone had been so clipped with him was in fact because she worried if they were in the same space for too long when they weren’t filming that she’d throw everything to the wind and seduce him right there in the gym.

She bit for bottom lip just thinking about it, and tried not to moan. The on-site gym was one of the many places they hadn’t hooked up yet. Ironically, there were no cameras in there. It would be the perfect spot on top one of those treadmills or bicycles…or in the locker room shower.

She shook her head, ridding herself of that thought.

This was crazy!

She’d been celibate for months. Surely she could handle being celibate again. She could even go out and have a one-night stand if she wished. She was sure there were plenty of guys that-

Stop it.

You are not a one-night stand kind of woman.

And you want Grant, plain and simple.

She sighed and looked back at her script. Grant was across the room rehearsing his own lines quietly to himself. She’d memorized hers already, but there was no harm going over them again. Especially when the alternative was to not check Grant out when wardrobe had given him gray sweatpants to wear.

Damn it.

He was walking after her in the scene. She was supposed to be mad, pissed off. And her current mood definitely helped her performance when the cameras were rolling, she decided. But sexual frustration ebbed off of her in waves, and she wondered if maybe that wasn’t what the director was going for with Iris in this particular scene.

Still, what was she supposed to do?

Grant’s cock moved so effortlessly beneath those pants when he walked. It was just a reminder of what they’d had and could still have if only she’d take back breaking things off.

But she couldn’t do that.

No one could know about them, and the most effective way to do that was to not be together at all. Soon any speculation of them being an item would be gone, and then maybe – maybe – she could think about being friends again.

“I need a break,” she announced to the crew and director.

Grant looked up from his script curiously.

The director frowned.

“We haven’t even started filming, Candice.”

“Well…I need a few extra minutes to get ready.”

His brows furrowed suspiciously, but he nodded.

“Ten minutes. Then we start.”

She dropped her script on her chair and made a quick exit for the lounge via the long hallway. She spotted Carlos inside and felt relief. She could relax with him, get Grant off her mind and then be ready to film in the 10 minutes that had been allotted to her.

“Candi-” Carlos started, and was immediately cut off.

“Candice.”

Carlos pursed his lips as Candice turned around and found Grant staring at her from just inside the doorway.

“Grant.” Her eyebrows narrowed. “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

Carlos downed the rest of his coffee and threw his cup in the trash.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” he muttered, shutting the door to the lounge behind him as he left.

The implication was obvious. He thought the two of them were going to have sex.

That irritated Candice more than she cared to admit, because how could he even think that? The whole cast and crew was well aware of how they weren’t sleeping together. Their unresolved sexual tension could be felt a mile away.

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms beneath her breasts, enhancing her cleavage the slightest bit.

She could see Grant fighting with himself to not look.

“I think we should get back together.”

She scoffed. “Of course you do.”

“It’s affecting my work! Yours too.”

“It’s not affecting my work. I’m a professional. You’re-”

“I’m what?” he dared her to say.

“You’re too attached to your character.”

“I’m not attached enough right now or I’d be able to channel Barry without memories of us fucking flooding my brain at every minute.”

She swallowed and her eyes lowered briefly to his crotch, nearly gasping when she thought she saw…

Did his cock just twitch?

She lifted her eyes to his again.

“That is not my fault.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” Her eyes narrowed.

He took a step towards her, and she tensed.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Grant-”

“All the time. When I’m awake, when I’m asleep…” He sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration, as he often portrayed Barry doing. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

She swallowed her gasp just before it emerged past her lips. It took her a few seconds to compose herself.

“You think that-”

“I know it.” He took her hands in his own, holding them tightly when she tried pulling them away.

She refused to look at him, though her heart was beating rapidly inside her chest.

“You haven’t had sex in a week and a half. You’re acting like a hormonal teenager, thinking this is more than it is when it’s not. For God’s sake, our careers are on the line here. Why can’t you just-”

“Candice.”

She tipped her head to look up into his eyes.

“Are you falling in love with me too?”

Her heart leapt into her throat.

“I…” Tears formed in her eyes, so she quickly shut them and shook her head. “No, there’s no way. I’m just…sexually frustrated.”

She gasped, realizing she’d said the words out loud and completely mortified.

“Shit,” she mumbled under her breath.

Grant smiled slowly, and she knew there was no going back.

“I can help with that too.”

“Grant, no- No, you can’t-can’t do that.”

She was backing up, but he pulled her back to him before she could get far.

“Relax, Candeez, I promise to make it good for you.”

And in that moment chills ran up her spine, and she melted. His lips came down on hers, and she moaned into the kiss. She jumped up into his arms when she felt his hands on her ass, and he squeezed her cheeks as he backed up slowly against the counter.

Kissing madly, he spun them around so she was sitting on the smooth granite and lifted her shirt up over her head, quickly unlatching her bra from behind her back. Candice shoved his pants and underwear down in one, swift move and immediately wrapped her hand around his shaft.

He groaned and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

“Candice.”

“Those damn sweatpants have been driving me out of my mind,” she muttered as she continued to pump him. “Do you know how clearly you can see your cock moving in them when you walk or get up?”

He chuckled darkly.

“I know. I requested them.”

“Bastard.”

“You don’t mean that.” He smirked, tipping her head up.

“No, I really do.”

He kissed her.

“I also mean this.”

She released his cock and yanked him closer.

“Fuck me.”

His green eyes turned dark, as he roughly yanked her pants and underwear down to a puddle on the floor.

“With pleasure.”

…

Fifteen minutes later, Grant and Candice came strolling back onto set. The director took one look at them and called for hair and make-up to come over.

“You good now, Candice?” he asked.

Grant quietly smirked to himself.

“Better than ever,” she said brightly.

After hair and make-up had finished and scattered, Grant and Candice took their places and waited for the director to call ‘action’.

As luck would have it, they only needed one take.

...

*will post on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

[k-writer1998]

Who Said Love Was Easy? (1/12)

      There are many different kinds of people who come and go from your life. Some will stay constant and sturdy like a river, growing alongside you, others will come like a whirlwind who wreaks havoc and leaves just as quickly, then there is everything in between. In this twisted maze of connections, that is where our story begins. A steadfast boy, a girl with a past, a little bit of alcohol, mistakes, and some love. Where can you go wrong with that?

angsty fluff

w.c: 1.6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      I didn’t think I would see him, here of all places, but at the same time somehow it seemed appropriate. We did meet for the first time when he was drunk confessing his problems to me after all. Who knew he would start working at one of my favorite pubs? Taking my usual seat by the window in the corner, he came by and took my order. Of course because he was drunk when we met he doesn’t seem to recall our encounter at all. “Jeongin” the name tag says… After receiving my order I took my time enjoying my food and subconsciously my eyes followed him around all night. The first thing I noticed was his line of sight. Whenever he had a spare moment to breathe, his eyes scanned the room for a specific person. Watching them interact though made things very clear. Definitely knew each other before working here and he likes her. I think he started to notice my gaze at some point because he would occasionally throw a confused glance at me which turned irritated as time went on. It wasn’t until it got slow and there were only a few people besides me in the pub before he got frustrated and confronted me as he brought my bill.

“What are you?”

“Someone who has feelings for you?”

      I innocently cock my head to the side, leaning forward and resting my chin on my hand as I smiled up at him. I saw annoyance flash across his eyes before it was replaced with the polite customer service shine again.

“I'm sorry but-”

“You have feelings for her?” I point to the girl manning the cash register before continuing, “I know. If you're someone like me, you can easily tell.”

“Someone like you?”

“How would you say it? Someone who is in love with love? How long have you liked her anyways?”

“I don't think that’s appropri-”

“It's just a question.”

“... Four years,” he mumbled out as he cast a nervous glance at the girl.

“Ah, I see…” 

“Yeah so you should just give-”

“Wait,” I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t misunderstand. That doesn't change my feelings for you. That’s not how it works.”

“Feelings? We've only just met.”

“We've met before though, don't you remember?”

      I gave him a cheshire-like grin as his face turned into one of questioning before he shook his head to focus on what he was originally doing, rejecting me.

“Well regardless I'll still like her so you're wasting your efforts.”

“With the few facts about me you’ve just learned, do you really think I would like someone who is only capable of shallow feelings? Don't worry, I know fully well what I'm getting myself into. It was nice chatting with you, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on.”

      With my bill paid I walked off, knowing I left the boy baffled. As I made my exit, his voice carried over the sound of the few patrons in the pub and a pleased smile crept to my face. 

“Who was that?”

“That’s y/n, she’s a regular. She’s sometimes hard to deal with cause of her straightforwardness, you’ll get used to it,” Jaehyung, the owner, laughed.

      I didn’t go to the pub any more than I usually did but true to my word I saw Jeongin every time I was there. Nothing underhanded, apparently fate just decided to align our paths for the time being. I’ve also had the chance to meet and talk to Gahyeon, much to the dismay of Jeongin whose careful gaze eyed me every time I spoke to her. Because of this, every time I try to talk to him, he’s apprehensive as if I would extort money from him or something with this information. He has yet to figure out our first meeting too. I know it's a ridiculous notion to expect him to remember a drunk night, but he wasn’t even trying and I couldn’t say it didn’t hurt a little. Especially because he hasn’t left my mind from that night on. My monologue was cut short by Jaehyung’s voice calling out to me.

“How’s my favorite neighbor?”

“I’m your only neighbor Mr. apartment-at-the-end-of-the-hall.”

“As prickly as always I see. How have you been?”

“The same as I was two days ago when you last asked,” I roll my eyes.

“I know you secretly love me bugging you. You’d probably forget how to speak if I didn’t.”

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes, “how’s business been?”

“Pretty good lately, we’re getting a lot of regulars now because they love the newbies. Like look at that smile, refreshing and endearing.”

      With that our eyes both glanced over to the table Jeongin was serving and it was like literal flowers were blooming over there. It can’t be denied he had that youthful charm to him but I couldn’t fully appreciate his ambiance when there were girls so obviously flirting.

“If you aren’t careful he might take your self-proclaimed spot as the face of the pub because his looks definitely top yours, especially since he’s fresh and young,” I teased to divert my attention from the scene ahead.

“Okay you brat I get it, you want the old man to leave you alone. You don’t have to attack me to tell me,” he whined.

“I’m only stating the facts, don't be a baby.”

      We both laughed and continued to chat more but from the corner of my eye I caught a different watchful gaze. As my eyes fluttered in that direction for a moment, Gahyeon had dropped her gaze frantically. In the next beat my eyes darted to Jeongin, finding him in an instant since I looked for his figure so often, and of course his gaze was on her. Looking back at Jaehyung as he was still rambling and this whole entanglement was going straight over his head but then again he was always a dense one when it came to things like this. Well isn’t this quite the predicament?

      Since I stayed later than usual today Jaehyung told me to wait for him so we could go home together, something about it not being safe. I can literally take a taxi but I’m not one to argue with him, I always lose somehow. I went to help with the dishes while everyone was cleaning the rest of the pub and some time in the middle, Jeongin came in.

“When will you stop this?”

“What? Being a regular? Hate to break it to you but I was a regular before you worked here so I technically have seniority,” I stated lightly.

      My eyes darted to the side to examine his face as my hands moved on muscle memory. He seems to fidget at my response, casting a nervous glance back to the front of the shop. Ah… and here I thought I was getting under his skin and finally had a fraction of his mind for myself.

“I make you uncomfortable don’t I? Not because I like you but because I know, and I’ve been friendly with Gahyeon right?”

      If his eyes widening as big as saucers was any indication, I hit the nail on the head. I felt my pettiness come up and I couldn’t help but scare him a little so that maybe I could occupy his mind just a bit.

“Instead of worrying about what I might say, worry about what I know. You were quite talkative on the night we first met… but I won’t say anything to her. I’m not one to meddle just because I like the person.”

“Ah… uhm, well-”

“You aren’t the confrontational type are you? Cat got your tongue already?” I laugh.

“Well how am I supposed to respond when you already know?” He mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“My bad, sorry. Gotta go.”

      I smirked at his flustered exit, his reactions are so cute. I was half way through drying the dishes when Jaehyung caught me, forcing me to sit on the counter in his line of sight as he finished the rest since I’m “not on his payroll.” Of course, like a magnet, Gahyeon appeared and used chatting with me as an excuse to watch Jaehyung. She has it just as bad as Jeongin does for her except this is new to her… either that or she just doesn’t know subtlety.

“Oh so how do you guys know each other? You seem close," Gahyeon asked.

“We’ve been neighbors for three years, he’s the nosy aunty I never asked for. Right Jaehyung-oppa?”

“Hey, I’m no aunty, there’s only a five year age gap.”

“You are when you nag me about eating and my social life all the time.”

      He scoffs at my snarky comment and I roll my eyes with a smirk. Focusing back on Gahyeon, her smile seemed to be pulled a bit tighter than before. Obviously this interaction only seemed to fuel her suspicions in addition to it not answering her underlying question of our relationship so she tried again.

“You must be a regular because of him then,” she laughs just as Jeongin comes up behind her.

“Of course. It has my two favorite things, good food and my favorite person.”

      My eyes connected with Jeongin’s as the reply fell from my lips, my mixed message registering in Gahyeon’s mind. On the other hand Jaehyung gasped.

“I’m your favorite person?!”

“Who said it was you?” I tested.

“I- If not me, it better be Jimin cause Chan and Younghyun are off limits!”

“Who knows, why does it have to be Jimin-noona?”

      My eyes drag back to Jeongin again and the corner of my lip quirks up just a smidge more as I catch him rolling his eyes at me. 

[soyforramen]

ooooo 17 and/or 28 for bughead

I am so terribly glad tumblr does not date these, because I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting on this draft. Regardless, here goes:

xxx

“Bite me, Jones,” Betty snapped. She screwed her eyes shut and breathed deeply as she counted to ten. No one in Riverdale could get under her skin like he could. And he knew it.

“Make me, Cooper.”

Betty curled her lip and turned away from Jughead Jones and his stupid smirk and his stupid hat. She knew from the start that this whole idea was inane. But because it was Archie’s last birthday in Riverdale, and because she and Jughead were Archie’s best friends, she’d said yes to Jones’ stupid idea to throw a surprise party. 

For whatever reason, it hadn’t occurred to Betty that Archie might want a birthday party. Over the years they’d fallen into such a routine it almost felt too close to sacrilege to change. The day before Archie’s birthday, he and Jughead would disappear to spend all day gorging on junk food and video games until it came time for a midnight creature feature at the Bijou. The day of, Archie would spend his birthday with his parents as Mrs. Andrews always made a point to come back to Riverdale on his birthday. The next following was Betty’s, and it had become their tradition to find new trails to hike around Sweetwater River only to end their day at Pop’s with burgers and shakes.

It was a custody arrangement they’d all been more than happy with ever since Betty had proclaimed her hatred of Jughead Jones in the second grade for making Ethyl cry because he ran away from her the entire week of Valentine’s. And despite Archie’s numerous attempts over the years at a tentative truce, neither Betty nor Jughead could stand the sight of each other for too long.This year, however, Jughead decided to buck the system.   

With a party.   

For Archie.   

Only one week to plan it.  

Together.

When Jughead had first mentioned it, Betty assumed he’d do what everyone else did when it came to these things: tell Betty his vision and let her handle everything while still getting partial credit for having come up with the idea in the first place. But apparently she’d underestimated him. Not only had he come up with the idea for a party, he also wanted to help plan it. 

Normally Betty would jump at the chance for any sort of event planning help. She’d had to beg, borrow, and blackmail to get any actual help to put together Homecoming and the Spring Formal . And now she had a ready, willing participant who came with his own ideas as to how this party should go.It was as if Fate itself were determined to prove the old adage, ‘Be careful what you wish for.’(Fate, too, could bite her.)The ultimate problem, though, was not the fact that it was Jones’ proposing and helping plan the party. It was not that they both wanted to outdo each other in a childish attempt to prove their superior friendship with Archie. The problem was she had to interact with Jones’ to get this done. It was the most she’d ever had to interact with him since they’d sat at the same square of tables in elementary school and it was a reminder why she’d avoided him ever since. Every idea she had was countered by his own; every suggestion was met with scepticism and budgeting concerns; every minute detail picked apart. Their tastes were too far apart on music, food, and decorations along with everything else it took to plan a party. He was far too sarcastic, too caustic for her. She was too nice, too blithe for his. It was mutual loathing that frustrated Betty every time she had to see him in the hallways. And now she’d agreed to spend most of her free time with him for a week.Archie better fucking love this damn party.

xxx

Monday Morning: 4 Days til B-Day

Today was not Betty Cooper’s day. She’d forgotten about the essay due in History class because she’d been consumed with scholarship applications and making decorations for Polly’s wedding. She’d dropped a beaker of acid on her shoes in lab class and now had to wander around in the ugliest, grossest pair of crocs the school’s lost and found had to offer. And to top it all off, her hair tie had snapped in gym class, leaving her hair in a tangle of waves that drew attention from everyone for just how messy it was.It took all she had not to skip school for the first time in her life. The only thing stopping her was the inevitable lecture she knew would be waiting at home. If Betty ruined her perfect attendance record three months before graduation, the fit her mother would throw would surely top the one when Polly told her she was unwed and pregnant.And when the tumbler on her locker stuck, it was all she could do not to scream. Finally the lock popped off and the door slammed into its neighbor.“Party planning going well?” Kevin asked from behind. He leaned against the locker bank and leveled all the magnets that had fallen to the bottom of the door.“Yes, actually. That’s the problem,” Betty snapped. She threw her textbooks into the locker, already digging through the three and a half years worth of junk for a hair tie. “I’d say that’s less of a problem, and more of a shoe in to finally free all that hair Jones’ has been hiding from us,” Kevin said with a Hello Kitty magnet suspended between his thumb and forefinger. When Betty rolled her eyes, he clicked his tongue. “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it. The UST between you two has been at peak level for at least two years.”Betty heaved out a sigh and reached for the top shelf. She tried to imagine herself someplace relaxing and far, far away from here. One of those Swedish spas Veronica was always gushing about. A sunny beach with no one around. An automotive shop that worked exclusively on muscle cars made by Corvette and Ford between 1958 and 1972 somewhere south of Paris, France.“Of course it’s a problem, Kev. It means that not only is he a complete and total asshole, he’s also a competent and capable asshole,” Betty huffed. She grabbed her history book out of her bag and threw it into the locker hard enough to rattle the mirror on the back. “At least you now won’t have to split all your free time between the paper, the party, and practice for the Vixens.”As much as Betty loved him, sometimes she hated how Kevin could always find a positive in every situation and how desperately she hated the fact that Veronica had decided to attend a prep school for her senior year.“We forgot about Veronica,” Betty gasped. Prior frustrations forgotten, Betty tapped away on the screen. Between event planning and the massive extracurricular load her mother insisted on, Betty hardly had any time to think about what she’d get for Archie. There was no way Veronica would forget something as important as Archie’s birthday, but if there was on thing that could throw a wrench into this plan it would be Veronica sweeping Archie off his feet to the Bahamas last minute.Veronica’s reply was almost instantaneous with a string of hearts, followed by several texts grilling Betty for more information about Archie’s relationship status, Riverdale gossip, and whether Betty had finally found herself a boyfriend.Absorbed by her phone, Betty closed her locker and walked to class, Kevin walking beside to her and telling Betty which was the best gossip to pass along to Veronica. As the bell rang, Betty tucked her phone into her jacket pocket and laid out everything she needed for class. Late as usual, Jughead slouched by her on his way to the corner of the room. “Nice hair, Cooper,” he muttered as he passed. “Very Diana Dors today.”Betty’s cheeks went red and her hands flew up to smooth down her hair. She’d been so focused on her conversation with Veronica that the hair tie had been completely forgotten.Kevin leaned across his desk and whispered, “Hashtag: Free the Beanie.”

Xxxxx

Tuesday Afternoon - Party Countdown: Day 3

Betty’s phone chimed on the couch beside her. When she saw who it was from, she groaned. They’d just talked after school about the decorations, and she thought they’d come to an agreement. Jughead, however, seemed to differ.“Beans for brains again?” Cheryl asked, eyes glued to her own phone. “Yes. Now decorations are too ‘childish’,” Betty whined. “Why does he have to make things so difficult.”“Because he has your undivided attention for once, baby cousin.”Betty stared at Cheryl. “What does that mean?”Cheryl rolled her eyes and set down her phone. “Read between the lines, it’s a total Castle and Bennet situation.”Even if she’d been offered the world, Betty still couldn’t figure out what Cheryl meant. With a sigh, Betty packed up her back and headed to Pop’s, figuring it would be easier to meet with him in person than spend three hours going back and forth in text.

Xxxxx

Tuesday Afternoon - Party Countdown: Day 3Betty slammed her lunch tray on the cafeteria table. “I hate him and that stupid grin of his. Like he knows everything. Why did I ever agree to this in the first place?”Kevin moved to the side as Betty swung her leg over the bench to sit down. “Because it’s Archie’s birthday and he’d do the same for you?”Betty snorted. “I doubt he’d work with his mortal enemy to plan me a party.”“True. Because I’d be the one doing the planning. If Archie was doing it there’d be cold pizza and hot ice cream. He’s not big on the planning thing.”Betty stabbed at a piece of fruit and let that sink in. It would be so much easier to let this go, to say she was done with the whole thing and let Jughead finish organizing it. But if she backed out now they’d both know he’d won in the ongoing feud they had. It was frustrating and unnerving and took every last bit of self-control to work with him. He was a constant distraction, taken to staring at her when she was talking and unnerving her by how close he was willing to get. Even stranger, as if he knew just how to get under her skin, he’d sat next to her in English this morning and attempted a semi-polite conversation.“Do I want to ask what’s got her so riled up now?” Toni asked as she sat down. “Jughead’s lips,” Kevin said with a smile.Toni leaned forward, his face eager for more information. “What? Did he kiss you? I thought you two were only supposed to be planning a party.”“Kevin,” Betty scolded. “And no. We can barely stand to be in the same room together. He’s insisted on doing the decorating himself.”Kevin and Toni shared a look. “And that’s bad, how?” Toni asked.“I know you’re used to being in charge of everything, but why is it a problem for him to decorate?” Kevin asked.“Because I was planning on using what we had leftover from Polly’s New Year’s Eve party. It would have been perfect.” Betty said.“What did he say about that?”Betty looked down at her salad and picked at it. “I didn’t exactly mention it.”Toni raised an eyebrow and Kevin let out a heavy sigh.“But obviously if I was pushing to do the decorations, I had a plan,” Betty said, her words sounding thin.“Last time I checked Jones wears several different hats, but mind reading is not one of them,” Toni said. “And being straightforward isn’t Betty’s,” Kevin said.Betty elbowed him in the ribs. “I thought you were supposed to be on my side?”He squirmed away from her. “I am. But you tend to have a take charge attitude and don’t always share the whole plan. Or let other people have much input when you’ve made up your mind.”“What’s that supposed to mean?”Kevin held up his hands defensively. “I’m just saying, maybe this thing isn’t all one-sided. You’re not used to people wanting to help plan something, and he’s -” Kevin faltered, not knowing Jughead enough to speak to his personality.Toni, though, was quick to step in. “Jughead is a snarky gloom and doom nerd. His people skills need some help too.”“Exactly. But maybe if you try to work with him.” He let the thought linger a moment before going into the latest gossip about the lacrosse team.

Xxxx

Thursday Afternoon - Party Countdown; 1

“I’m doing this for Archie, Jughead. If you don’t like that, then you don’t have to be involved,” Betty said after a few deep breaths.“This was my idea, Betty. Not some project you can step in and fix just because I’m involved. The door is right there if you change your mind,” Jughead snapped back. He turned away from her and focused his attention on his computer. Betty’s hands clenched and unclenched. A fire burned in her chest and she had to work to stay seated There was nothing she wanted more than to slap him. It annoyed her that he was right; they were doing this for Archie, not for some strange kudos for their own egos. “Fine.”Jughead’s head jerked up and he looked as if he were surprised she’d conceded so easily. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said her words clipped. Just because she was wrong didn’t mean she had to like it.His eyes narrowed and Betty waited it out. If he wanted to suspect her of ulterior motives, then so be it. She just wished he could bring the intensity down a little bit.Eventually, he waved to the seat across from him and, in a rare gesture of cordiality, waved Pop down for a round of shakes. While Betty was suspicious herself of his motives, she took the seat and pulled out her planner to go over their last minute plans.

xxxx

Friday Night - Party Countdown: 0

Betty leaned against the porch railing, a red solo cup full of something red and overly sweet in her hands. Veronica had sworn she’d like it, but Betty could barely stomach a sip of it. She’d never been one for parties or alcohol or general teenage mischief. Seeing what had happened to Polly had cured Betty of any desire of that.“Looks like we managed to pulled it off,” Jughead said. He lifted a can to his lips - a brazenly boring soda that stood out against their peers attempts to summon Dionysus into the Andrews’ living room.Betty turned towards him and watched him watch the party through the windows. “Surprisingly.”He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t turn towards her. Betty’s eye followed the movement only to trail down his profile. It was odd, she realized, to have never really thought about what he looked like without the permanent scowl and irritable persona he’d taken up as a defense mechanism.“It’ll be a bitch to clean up, though,” Jughead said.Betty snorted and poured her drink into the bushes beneath her. “I vote that’s Archie’s problem.”“And Veronica’s,” Jughead added, with a nod to the opening door.“There you two are,” Veronica said. She shot a sly grin to Jughead who rolled his eyes.Betty filed her questions away for later, particularly those about how close Veronica and Jughead seemed to have gotten over the past year. “This was a really great surprise,” Archie said, oblivious of the strange interaction going on next to him. He looked as tired as Betty felt, but somehow managed a level of energy even she couldn’t fake. She pulled him into a tight hug as the sudden realization that this was their last year of high school hit her. Tears threatened to spill at the corner of her eyes. In six months, Archie would no longer be her constant companion. It would be the first time ever that he wasn’t part of her life. Betty screwed her eyes shut and thought about the good times.“You’re welcome Archie. Happy birthday,” she said through a sniffle.They pulled apart and it was Jughead’s turn to pull Archie into a hug. Betty took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks.“Happy birthday, bud,” Jughead said with a grin. He nodded towards Veronica. “Enjoy it while you can.”Betty pulled Veronica into a hug, the pain of missing her not as severe. After all, they’d be roommates next fall, something they’d been planning since they were twelve. “I’m going to call it a night,” Betty said. Veronica kissed her on the cheek and, in a surprising move, pulled Jughead into a bear hug. She whispered something to him that made him flush before letting him go. “Walk her home,” Veronica ordered him. “I want nothing to happen to my girl. We have plans, after all.”“V, I live ten feet away,” Betty reminded her.Jughead rolled his eyes, but complied when Veronica shoed him after Betty. When they reached the sidewalk, Jughead cleared his throat.“Hey, Cooper.”Betty turned to face him. “Yes?”“Are we still in a truce?”She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got another ten minutes until curfew. So, I’d say we were.”Jughead took a step towards her, dropping his gaze to the ground. He swallowed hard, his hands fidgeting. “You’re not half bad, now that I think about it.”Betty smiled. It was probably the nicest thing she’d heard him say about anything in a while. “You’re not half bad yourself, Jones’.”“Also,” he paused, glancing behind them as if to check that they were alone.“What? What is it?” she asked, stepping towards him, worried he’d say or do something. Her fingers curled into a loose fist, but what she wouldn’t have ever expected was for him to pull her close and press his lips against hers.The world came to a startling halt as Betty’s brain went into overdrive. (They were kissing.) This was Jughead Jones her self-proclaimed high school rival in all things that mattered. (He was kissing her.) Before this week they’d never had a nice thing to say about each other. (And she liked it.) The only common ground they ever had was fighting over Archie (Worse, she was kissing him back) and snarking at each other over stupid little things.A car backfired a street over and the spell was broken. The world wrenched itself back into rightful place. Betty’s eyes fluttered open and everything looked the same as it had before. Only there was that look in his eyes, and there was that exhilarating feeling in her chest that could only mean the sky was the limit, and the ground beneath her was shaking. At some point her hand had come to rest on his cheek. It felt normal there, like a bird finally come home to roost. She rubbed her finger against his smooth skin and he turned his head to kiss her palm. “Pop’s tomorrow?” he asked.Betty answered him in another kiss.

[austennerdita2533]

Hi to my friend and favorite Austen scholar :) I was wondering if you consider Darcy and Elizabeth an example of the opposites attract trope? I get that they APPEAR very different, with Lizzie exuberant and prone to laughing and teasing while Darcy is a fundamentally serious, reserved introvert. But as I reread and rewatch, I'm struck by how alike I think they actually are. They're both very critical, discerning and quick to judge, they're both extremely clever and intelligent, they're both very insightful (though, like all of us, only when it comes to people other than themselves and those they're closest to!), they're both close to very few but fiercely loyal and loving towards those they do let in, they're both very analytical and contemplative, they're both too stubborn and prideful and reluctant to change their ways until they both learn that's more a sign of strength than weakness. I could bore you by rambling further, but hopefully you get the point! I'm curious whether you agree that they're actually more fundamentally similar than different...? Or am I just as off base as usual?!

Hello lovely, and what a good question!

You know, I've always considered Darcy and Elizabeth to be opposites on the surface but then quite similar beneath it. (That probably reads like a bit of a cop out on my part, but I think it makes sense if you slice it apart.) I'd argue that combination is largely what makes them such a captivating pairing overall.

The so-called "opposite" attributes Darcy and Elizabeth possess work in a two-fold fashion. On the one hand, it explains why they butt heads in the beginning because, in personality, not to mention in the manner in which they're both able to interact with people - acquaintances and/or strangers, especially - they are diametrically opposed. She's extroverted, lively, good humored, and easy to engage in conversation. He's severe, socially inept, broody, and reserved to the point of being almost monosyllabic at the best of times. That difference fosters a lot of tension between them initially. They don't know what to make of each other. How to interact. It also helps to create, elongate, and preserve the canyon of misunderstanding that makes up their dynamic for the first half of the book.

On the other hand, the differences in their dispositions are also where hardcore attraction comes into play. They both gravitate toward, seek to investigate, rather, the qualities the other person has that they do not. It's like catnip. Draws them in like magnets. They're both similarly afflicted in that regard, I'd say.

Darcy is bewitched by Elizabeth's vivacity and openness, by her ability to laugh at the absurdity that is present throughout society. She's easy among new company where he is stilted, uncomfortable, and he LIKES being around her because of that. It draws him out of his shell. Forces him to be more present and attentive, even if "more present" manifests only in the heady looks he shoots at her from across the ballroom. He's stimulated by her wit, by her teasing. She astonishes him (in a good way), keeps him on his toes, and that's exciting...erotic.

Elizabeth, too, even in her most fastidious "I have never sought your good opinion" moments can't help but be caught up in the enigma that is Darcy. Arrogant and taciturn though he seems, his aloofness, as well as the natural reserve which surrounds him, makes him equal parts interesting and grating to her because she's unable to fully figure him out. She tries to glean what she can about him from observation, from limited time spent in his company, but he's essentially a lockbox (rude!), so instead she has to rely on the gossip that other people (Wickham) have related, and even then she's not satisfied. She still wants to know more. Needs to know more about who he is. She says herself that the different accounts she's heard of him "puzzle her exceedingly." The point here being that she can't stop trying to puzzle out the man from the second they meet no matter how hard she tries. She's caught up without realizing just how caught up she is. I mean, even when she's declaring she hates him I'd argue there's still a part of her that's more enthralled with him than anything. He remains an unsolved mystery, which is maddening as well as a little dazzling; so conscious or not, she feels a pull toward him. It cannot be helped. She's in over her head. I believe she's desperate to know if there's more to him than meets the eye (though she'd rather die than admit such a thing.) So really, his introversion has its own attractions for her as well--it keeps her probing, orbiting.

Like you mentioned, too, Darcy and Elizabeth have a lot of traits in common. They're clever, contemplative, critical, astute, and stubborn, to name a few. However, where the juxtaposition comes into the mix is how these things are expressed in their individual personalities. Because, in that regard, they do express or convey these traits differently. I think that's where the "opposites attract" trope could apply.

That said, Darcy and Elizabeth do both face similar conflicts throughout the novel. They're each prideful in their own way and must learn how to overcome their own snobbery, their own criticisms of people. I think we tend to overlook that as something they share because of how it manifests, again, with respect to their individual personalities and social classes. But without that tenet of similarity tying them together there'd be no romantic tension in the novel. That's the whole point of conflict upon which the whole plot turns - their respective (and mutual!) pride and prejudice. Also, if they both weren't loyal and protective of those they loved most in the world, and if they hadn't had a mutual evolution where they'd learned not to be so quick to judge others and forgive past grievances, then the romantic resolution between them would have fallen flat. As readers, we wouldn't have been rooting so hard for them to be together if they hadn't had those things in common. Right?

Part of the reason we consider Darcy and Elizabeth to be well-matched match by the end of the story is because they're opposites on the surface who are bound by the same moral fiber - character - underneath. They're good people who have made and learned from their own mistakes. That growth is what matters. It's because of their mutual self-reflection and self-improvement that they're able to come together to form a healthy union.

In my estimation Darcy and Elizabeth are similar in all the big ways that matter - smart, devoted, forgiving, dependable, loving, etc. - and different in ways - cheerful, stoic, witty, quiet, rich, bougie etc. - that allows their dynamic to feel fresh and surprising...not to mention swoon worthy as hell!

[ichabodcranemills]

re: D*rklina

@musical-chick-13 I’m putting this under a read more, because I have additions and, yes, it is long 😂

So, as far as I can tell from what show-watchers have told me, yes, he is definitely worse in the books. And specifically, the general idea in said books seems to be that just because someone is charismatic and attractive and “gets” parts of you doesn’t mean that they’re a good partner or even worth your time, which is a message I have waited FOREVER to see. Beauty (and to a lesser extent, magnetism) does not equal goodness. The Dark/ling (I have no idea if the names will show up in the tags so I’ll put slashes in the middle of them, wow this website’s features need revamping) always seemed…very entitled to Al/ina. There wasn’t any desire for them to become equals (even in a moral sense by dragging her down to his moral level or raising himself up to hers). His behavior and pursuit of her seems much more motivated by the idea of being able to congratulate himself on the fact that he’s “won” her. She’s more of like…a conquest to him? And maybe that’s a huge misread of his character on my part, but the Leigh, the author, HAS said in the past that some of the Dark/ling’s dialogue and actions were written as a way for her to make sense of and deal with an irl toxic relationship she was in during part of the writing period, so I…don’t think it’s a completely unreasonable interpretation? And that’s not to say that power imbalance ships should Never Be Shipped (because they can be genuinely compelling or even fun to watch under the right writer), and Leigh has even said that she Gets The Appeal herself.

But I think the reasons Tho/schei works for me where D*rklina doesn’t are because 1) Tho/schei have genuinely known each other for a long time (and even been on good terms for some of it) but the Dark/ling decides, despite being this all-powerful charismatic force who is hundreds of years old, to get pettily involved in a teenage love triangle in very little time which is a choice that makes absolutely no sense to me at all, 2) The Doctor is an extremely morally grey character, in a way that if they aren’t careful could easily match the destructiveness of The Master. They both are aware of this, and both of them believe themselves (in their own ways) to be “above” morality (The Doctor in the sense of “I know what’s best and my choices are law” and The Master in the sense of “My choices are law and I deserve to cause destruction and have complete control”. There are…not equal, but similar enough levels of moral ambiguity that it makes sense to me that they still Get™ each other. The Doctor also likes Intellectual Challenges and Foiling Grand Plots, to the point where it’s often the Most Important Thing, and The Master not only provides those, but enjoys the conflict as well, and 3) They actually are close to being equals. They’re both very smart, powerful, immortal. Obviously The Doctor has Much More Life Experience and a more extraordinary legacy because of the Timeless Child thing, but Missy’s primary goal was simply “I want my friend back” and Dhawan!Master freaked out because it was impossible to see them as equals anymore. The Doctor, as per Twelve, wants the Master to be good because they’re alike in a way no one else in either of their lives are. They kind of…want the same thing but in different ways, whereas The Dark/ling, while understanding The Burden Of Power, doesn’t actually want the same thing Al/ina does.

And that relationship between D*rklina could still make for a fascinating dynamic, and one that in another life I might even be into myself if not for the whole “reducing it to Good Girl Saves Bad Boy” trope that I keep seeing within a good deal of the fandom. Not that a general fandom reaction or misread should prevent anyone from enjoying something, but I’m so tired that it’s nearly impossible for me to separate them at this point, lol. Ultimately it boils down to the fact that they seem like such fundamentally different people that I don’t personally see how they could ever truly find common ground or genuinely appreciate their similarities. I think the most interesting exploration of a romantic bent to their dynamic would be in a context  where they are so different and recognize that they’re so different, and they might want to focus on their similarities, but it’s not enough. There could be this undeniable pull between them, but what does that really mean when held up against who they are and how they choose to interact with the world? And then having to deal with the necessary antagonism that results. I guess I see the existence of this ship as like…more of a thought exercise than anything I would ever want to happen in any way other than a one-sided attraction on his part, or that could ever truly be narratively justified. But also like…I hate him, so that makes it kind of hard for me to want to explore it in any way at all. Which that’s a personal thing. Other people like this character, and I’m genuinely happy for them that they can see something I don’t.

UGH, I’m sorry this got so long. This is what happens when I have an urge to Share my Thoughts.

I totally understand your feelings and I think the show did a good job on not only humanizing the D*rkling, but also making the relationship more palatable. I, mean, I’m sure we can partially blame Mr. Barnes’ soulful eyes, but I definitely got the impression that, while the D*rkling wants to use Alina for his own gains, he is very drawn to her as THE Sun Summoner, as in “we are linked and will inevitably be the only one for the other”, he basically tells Mal as much.

And I don’t blame you for losing interest in them because of the fandom, it can be very frustrating, especially if one of the characters didn’t appeal to you in the first place (I mean, I’ve been there, hello R*ylo, lmao)

I think I get what you’re saying about how this works out in the books and how what draws me to D*rklina isn’t necessarily textual. And I think I might have went in a little biased when I watched the show, because, before I did, a friend told me she was getting Thoschei vibes from it, but didn’t especify where, So I watched and there it was: M*lina… okay, school best friends, us against the world, but in general, eh, they were too “perfect” (as in, no real conflict between them). And then D*rklina with everything I said on my original post. I mean, I was looking for a thoschei-like dynamic and I found one 😂.

I’ve read some spoilers for the book, so I know my whole “200 years later” fantasy doesn’t happen, so I agree with you, this ship is more of a thought exercise. But I think the show sets it up in a way that is Just My Thing, whereas the book is more straightforward with how incompatible these two are, romantically. But the fandom will ship away, even in kinda blergh ways, it’s how it is 🤷

[leoninekelter]

All of my Avengers headcanons!

- Steve- bisexual

- Bucky- gay

- Tony- bisexual

- Stephen Strange- gay

- Natasha- aroace (occasionally lesbian, depends on which one I’m feeling at the time)

- Cooks along with cap and teaches Wanda with him since she’s interested, Avengers would probably just get takeout every day if they didn’t tbh

- Wanda- pansexual

- Loves scratch and sniff stickers. She cam to America and didn’t find out about them for a year, and then one day she ran into the living room with a sticker sheet screaming “PIETRO HOLY SHIT”

- Her and Vision are now both obsessed, along with magnets. At some point everyone just sticks magnets on Bucky and Vision sometimes and they like it.

- Vision- non binary (he/they)

- Clint- bisexual, non binary (they/them, doesn’t have dysphoria and is AMAB), ADHD

- Since I don’t injure my nose a lot, I live vicariously through Clint and every other week they have a nose bandaid.

- After like, two days, they’ll show up and have several new bandaids in like seven new places Clint wtf we just fixed you

- Half of them are for decoration, they loved colorful stickers and then Wanda’s discovery just fueled his need for colorful bandaids

- Pietro- aroallo (homosexual) or homoromantic homosexual, depending on what I feel like again

- I simply reject his death. He is alive. Periodt

- Not to show emotions, but he’d literally die for Wanda

- In the first month of being in the Tower, he just stuck by her side and was ready to kill the toaster because they’d never seen half the stuff there in their life

- Rhodes- trans (he’s gone through his whole transition by now, doesn’t like to bring it up much. I did it because I can idk)

- Loki- genderfluid bisexual (they/she/he)

- They knot and untie their sweater strings when they are nervous or bored. When they aren’t wearing a sweater they braid their hair strands.

- I also live vicariously through Loki, and they have several ear piercings.

- Thor- lesbian (jk pan, but doesn’t care for a label)

- Bruce- biromantic demisexual, autistic + OCD (haven’t completely worked out this headcanon, but I love it lmao)

- Has a blue point Siamese kitten named Einstein Thor got him once

- On the corner of his desk is a really shitty card Thor made for him. It’s like his favorite thing in the world besides the Odinsons and his cat.

- Einstein’s fur is really soft and smells really good so he constantly (I can’t make this not sound weird but idk) rubs his face in his fur cuz it’s so nice

- Likes to listen to music to focus or calm down, like Cavetown or Walk the Moon or Green Day (specifically Basket Case)

- Valkyrie/Brunnhilde- Bi

- Chews on the collars of her shirts. This wasn’t a habit that developed until her first gf died :(

- This is why she tries to wear jackets and things that aren’t fabric

- Her teeth hurts if she bites too hard on things after years of this, because they chew so much

- It only happens when she’s zoned out now, though

- Yes this is me projecting onto characters leave me alone 😔

- Hela- lesbian

- Her hair is never kempt. She probably hasn’t brushed it in years. Her hairstylist almost got punched last time she tried to straighten it out, now she just trims the bottom to her best ability and doesn’t bother.

- Accidnetally killed Valkyrie’s girlfriend in a car crash years ago. Doesn’t like to talk about that or emotions, but it fucked her up. She cried a lot after it and only Thor and Loki know. She’s much rather have Val hate her than talk about it though

- More of a satanist than anything else, she kinda just vibes

- Ultron- non binary (duh)(any pronouns, masc)

- Nebula- lesbian (sapphic hehe)

- Tried to stab Mantis once because she thought she was messing with her emotions, when really she’s just gay

- Still hasn’t smiled yet. She will one day though.

- Mantis-pan, autistic (ahaha we love irony and Mantis in this house) she/they

- Really, really dense. Despite being an empath, can’t understand tone or emotions of others or herself very well.

- It is her only goal in life to make Nebula smile. As she gets better at interaction, she hopes to get better at making her smile.

- Doesn’t actually like to read Nebula’s emotions though, because Nebula feels fiercely. She looks so empty but she is so much more emotional than anyone she’s ever read.

- Starlord/Quill- Bi, ADHD

- Gamora- trans :))))

- Peter Parker- trans, ADHD, isn’t sure or medicated yet tho so F in the chat

- Venom- non binary (they/them)

- Eddie Brock- obviously gay, shapeshifting alien bf hello

- Carol- lesbian

- Maria- lesbian

- Sam- he’s straight in most of my stuff but if I feel like shipping him with a hoe (cough Steve or Buck) he gay now idk

Ships:

OTPS

Steve + Bucky

Tony + Stephen

Thor + Bruce

Mantis + Nebula

LOVE

Wanda + Natasha

Wanda + Vision

Pietro + Clint

Carol + Maria

Bucky + Sam

Sam + Steve

Sam + Bucky + Steve

Carol + Val

Wade + Peter

Peter + MJ

Peter + Ned

Bruce + Tony

Rhodey + Tony

NOTP

anything inc*st and/or p*dophilia. Pretty basic, but... seriously pls dni

Inc*st includes half/step/adopted siblings :)

OKAY

basically everything else I don’t rly care what you ship lol

WON’T MAKE CONTENT FOR:

anything shipping Steve with a girl, or shipping Nat with a guy. They rub me the wrong way but I don’t mind if you guys mind your own business, you’re still very good people I bet :)

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @amayiashae

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you are an extremely creative and empathetic person. you are very intuitive, and you're able to come up with original and innovative ideas. you can be quite moody, but you also care a lot about your loved ones, you're a very nurturing person.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

your scorpio rising makes you quite pessimistic; you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this may be translated through fear; you’re either scared of other people, and hence you look more vulnerable, or maybe you’re the one who prefers to look intimidating to avoid problems. I don’t think you look unapproachable, though. there are other placements in your chart that say the opposite, so I imagine you project an image of yourself that makes you look quite naive. you can sense others’ emotions very well, so they have no secrets for you. you can perceive any single emotion in people just by looking in their eyes. while this is good, as you understand who’s best for you and you’re aware of the dangers you may face, scorpio risings tend to take advantage of this and be a little manipulative. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe. you wish you could be softer and show your inner emotions more easily, as scorpio is a water sign. the thing is, since it’s a fixed sign, it’s hard for you to be flexible and adapt to changes. when they happen, they’re usually out of your control as they’re literally life-changing. physically, I see you having a square face with high cheekbones. overall, your bones are very prominent and you’re naturally skinny. your eyes are extremely magnetic, and they could also be quite big and/or round. you might have either very pale skin, or just an olive skintone. sometimes, even a mix of both. your hair, eyebrows and lashes are very thick and dark too. you're at least of average height, and you could have something smaller on your face, like a small nose, eyes, lips etc. you may also have very thick hair.

scorpio ascendant conjunct libra moon: this placement makes you look softer than the typical scorpio rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

🌞 sun in cancer, 8° / 1st decan ruled by the moon

this is the softest, most emotional cancer decan. even though you may not show it due to your heavy scorpio influence, you’re actually very vulnerable and sensitive. you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your dramatic and impulsive leo rising. you’re most likely also quite patient, even though you don’t forgive easily. once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.

🌙 moon in libra, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

this is the most intelligent and witty libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner, and since mercury is placed in the 8th house, a water house, you may also be very intuitive. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

gemini mercury opposite sagittarius mars: this placement makes you slightly more aggressive with your words. in fact, it makes you look more assertive and almost bossy. you could often attack people with words when you get angry, and you can get quite provocative too, even though it may happen in a more passive way. you still have your libra moon’s elegance and diplomacy in you, after all. even though you’re quite controversial for the way you speak, you’re still very sensitive to others’ words. your self-esteem tends to find its base mostly on others’ opinion about you, and you always look for reassurance from your loved ones. to deal with this hard aspect, you need to think before you speak. if you have troubles understanding others’ feelings, just think about how you’d love to be treated. patience will just come naturally to you.

gemini mercury conjunct gemini jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends. you're also particularly good at making jokes, everyone laughs whenever you speak as you have a very good sense of humor.

gemini mercury opposite gemini pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in taurus, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you seek long-lasting relationships. you're very romantic, and this fixed influence gives you high standards for your partner, you stay back from players. you look for someone you can always count on, and that is willing to support you through thick and thin. it may take you a while to find someone worth to be your lover, but once you find them, you'll always be loyal to them as long as they're respectful. they're your most precious possession, hence you're very jealous and protective of them. if it becomes unhealthy for both you and your partner, it's surely an issue you have to solve, maybe together. you're also the type who likes to be spoiled by their lover, and wants to make lovely gifts as well. these gifts don't have to be expensive, even homemade things are fine. for example, you may melt at the thought of your significant other to take their time and do something exclusively for you, like baking a cake or writing a poem. little gestures that show you their love. in a potential partner, you also care about how they present themselves. I'm not necessarily talking about conventional beauty, but more on a self-care side. you like people who smell good, have a nice fashion sense and maybe people that are quite conceited too (obviously not to the point of narcissism).

☄️ mars in sagittarius, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships. luckily, since your venus is in leo I don't think it's your case, and you may actually be very loyal.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini saturn: this placement indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in scorpio. you fulfill your ego when you deal with intense situations that satify your needs. that is, you find strenght in getting out of your comfort-zone. even though you may be afraid of it. you’re an enigma: you know everything about others, but others know nothing about you. it’s your way to protect yourself from eventual enemies, as you’re prone to have a few of them throughout your life. the ruler of the 1st is in the 2nd house: your existence revolves around discovering your value, worth and finances in general. your self-esteem is based on your physical appearance and on your achievements. you may have this mentality that you can’t take care of yourself if you don’t have enough money. you could also earn money through your appearance.

your 2nd house is in sagittarius. you tend to overindulge in 2nd house matters, hence you may spend too much money, you could overeat, or even overestimate your own skills. especially since chiron is here, your deepest wound may be related to the fact that you have an exaggerated vision of yourself. maybe, you’re too confident, or perhaps it’s the opposite. that is, you underestimate your worth way too much. pluto here points out that you could often experience sudden changes regarding money. since you spend so much, you may find yourself lacking money from time to time, therefore be careful to how you spend them. you also have mars placed in this house: you may base your life too much on your financial possibilities. for instance, let's suppose you want to start writing a book. you may start writing it only if you're certain that you're going to be paid for it, you don't your efforts to go to waste, and hence you may often be quite materialistic. at least, you're very stubborn, so you can be an hard-worker when you truly care about something you want to complete or achieve. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 8th house: the best way for you to earn money is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through spirituality, hence you could be a tarot reader, a psychologist, an astrologer, etc. this is also a placement that indicates that others may give you money easily, you could find lots of jobs that pay you well, and you may even receive an inheritance.

your 3rd house is in capricorn. you enjoy listing and talking about your duties and goals. you’re the type to write down your tasks in your agenda, e.g. tidying up your room, feeding your plants etc. the problem with this placement is that you may struggle to take action, and procrastinate. or maybe, you could do the opposite and overwork yourself. no inbetween. also, when you were a child you probably started speaking later than other kids, or you speak so fast that you end up stuttering. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 8th: you need partners and friends to whom you can talk freely about your interests and opinion, without being judged. also, you may find yourself thinking and daydreaming often about your future spouse, marriage and relationships in general. you may be a very secretive person, or at least you have lots of secrets to you. you may also be good at keeping them.

your 4th house is in aquarius. when you were young, you probably didn’t feel at ease with yourself. you might have been the outcast, that one kid that stood out in the daycare. you probably didn’t have many friends either, but you weren’t that sad about it. you enjoyed playing, drawing and watching your favorite cartoons alone. you find emotional comfort and security in your home, in your parents and in just family in general. you used to be very attracted to arts when you were a kid, and you kept this love with you while growing up. maybe, you were the type of child to lie to your parents. with the ruler of the 4th house in the 4th, you probably feel comfortable and secure in your home environment, as your moon in the 4th also confirms. you can vent your worries to your family members. at first, you probably didn’t feel very close to your parents though. it’s a kind of affection and emotional security that you developed while growing up.

your 5th house is in pisces. you have a variety of talents and creativity, but that may possibly be covered from you at first. you’d do very well at stuff that involves art and drawing. in love, you’re attracted to artsy people; if they’re into art, singing, dancing etc. they’re your ideal of soulmate. you may be very fond of children, and you wish to have at least one in the future. the ruler of the 5th house is in the 4th house: your hobbies are the same or similiar to those of your parents or siblings. your creativity may also involve your family life in some way; for example, if you’re an artist you may draw your parents, or maybe you could write about your childhood. you may hang out with your family members. you’re also probably fond of cartoons and anything related to childhood.

your 6th house is in aries. you work hard to be the number #1 in what you care about, especially if your goals involve school, work, health etc. your days are usually quite busy, and you tend to overwork yourself. your health may not be the best, you may often experience headaches or you may have problems in any part of your face, such as eyesight problems or maybe something involving teeth. with the ruler of the 6th being in the 2nd, your daily routine involves making money. you may often find money around in your everyday life; for example, in front of your door lying on the ground. the best way for you to earn is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through animals, hence you could be a groomer, a vet etc.

your 7th house is in taurus. in a marriage you seek security, both emotional and financial. you want a loyal partner that would never do anything to hurt you, and that has a wealthy job as well. intimacy and trust also matter a lot for you in a long-term relationship. your venus is also sitting here in this house, one of the best placements for it. therefore, it's an extremely positive placement! it most likely means that your relationships are very pleasant, you may have very loving partner throughout your life and you won't have a bad memory of them when you break up. in particular, this placement also indicates that you're going to have a very satisfying and peaceful marriage, it certainly doesn't indicate divorce. you may often attract people with good looks, as venus rules beauty, but also wealthy people, and you could possibly make money thanks to other people. you may marry someone rich, or maybe your future job will involve other people, and hence you're going to earn money by helping someone else.

your 8th house is in gemini, with also mercury, jupiter and saturn placed there. you may frequently find yourself thinking and studying occult/taboo topics, such as paranormal events, thrillers, tarots, astrology etc. you’re interested in finding out the truth, not only among your peers but in the whole world. you have a desire that all the malice that is hiding behind the government etc. gets exposed, even though you may be so interested in them that you could get used to it and end up overlooking them. saturn here is quite of a challenging placement; in fact, it makes you afraid of any sort of intimacy and taboo topic in general. you may tame opening up, and hence you keep everything for yourself, you struggle to build healthy relationships with others. in addition, you may also have quite a big sex drive, especially with jupiter being in this house, but you end up repressing your feelings because you're afraid. this is something that is going to slowly disappear after your 30 years, especially thanks to jupiter being also in this house. with more maturity, you'll start feeling way more comfortable with this side of yourself, you won't be afraid anymore.

your 9th house is in cancer. someone close, important and intimate with you may teach you the biggest lessons in your life. you could also live abroad with your family, or become a teacher in a daycare/primary school. you have a knack for philosophy, and you may be interested in foreign culture, music, fashion etc. the sun here makes you extremely open-minded! you probably hardly ever have prejudices, you don’t judge a book from its cover, as you are very supportive of others. you probably despise racism, homophobia and any kind of discrimination that doesn’t bring justice. you may also be particularly interested in studying, especially philosophy, literature, but also foreign cultures. you could be skilled or at least interested in foreign languages as well.

your 10th house is in leo. you want to be recognized and stand out. you may want to be a celebrity, or at least you want to be the one people look up to in your work place. you may be known for your successful career, maybe you may actually get popular easily. your identity revolves around finding a stable job and having a great income. also, this is a beneficial placement for people that want to be recognized/famous, as you naturally have the celebrity vibe and charisma to you. the ruler of the 10th house is in the 9th house: you may find work abroad, perhaps you'll have to travel a lot for your job. maybe you'll have to speak or learn a foreign language for your job, or perhaps you'll have to interact with many people with a different cultural background from yours. you may possibly even work as a teacher or as a professor.

your 11th house is in virgo. this placement, together with your heavy scorpio influence, makes you very picky with friends. you may frequently feel happy with different people, but you only call friends a few of them. you also have friends with similiar ideals and approach to yours, hence it’s easy for you to get along as you see eye to eye. your goals may be very practical, you most likely have a detailed idea of what you want to be in the future. you want everything to be organized, as it makes you feel more secure. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 8th house: your friends could be a part of your soul family, and hence you most likely used to know them in a past life. possibly, your friends could also be wealthy.

your 12th house is in libra. you find beauty in neptunian topics, such as astrology, spirituality, dreams, art etc. you may actually be quite skilled at things that involve beauty and aesthetics. you may also be afraid of being judged, especially for your interests and/or physical appearance. you also have your libra moon placed in this house. you may have some escape tendencies to detach from reality; maybe, you use retail therapy as a coping mechanism. you could also oversleep, pray or maybe meditate to stop thinking about your worries for a while. you usually have very peaceful, romantic dreams, and your past life was quite pacific too. this placement also indicates that you may have prophetic dreams, you could predict the future through them or they may have a special meaning to you.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract taurus, libra, pisces, cancer, gemini. your future spouse is probably going to have prominent gemini and / or cancer placements, maybe they're a gemini-cancer cusp, as well as some 4th, 3rd or 6th house dominance too. they’ll be very intelligent and talkative, they are most likely a social person but they also value alone time. you may meet them at work, and they’ll be a big boost for your self-esteem and reputation. you could also meet them in a place where you can eat, hence at a restaurant, at a bar, etc. your children are probably going to have prominent pisces placements, or at least they’ll have pisces/water traits: they’ll be spiritual, calm, artistic and sleepy, yet they may also develop a rebel/emo attitude during their teenage years.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. in fact, she looks very emotionally detached. she also has very strong beliefs that you inherited from her. she could have aquarius or pisces placements in her chart, as well as 11th and 12th house planets. your father is a bit softer and more romantic, he knows how to have fun and used to play a lot with you when you were a child. he probably has leo or 5th house placements in his birth chart, or perhaps he has fire placements. if you have siblings, they probably have prominent capricorn placements in their chart. you may fight a lot with them, but your relationship with your siblings will slowly get better with time. in the worst case, your mother might have had a miscarriage, or maybe they were stillborn.

📊 career

with your leo midheaven, any career that revolves around creativity and self-expression would be ideal for you!! in fact, you may have some sort of creative talent, such as writing, acting, dancing, singing, etc. in general, this placement also indicates that you may earn an income from a hobby of yours, and so it doesn't necessarily have to be something creative. for instance, let's suppose you're into psychology. you'd definitely be successful as a psychologist, and there are actually lots of placements in your chart that make it a suitable job for you. possibly, you could even work with food, or perhaps you may work in a field related to money, so you may find a job in a bank. you'll also get to travel a lot, and you'll probably interact with other people as well. because of that, you would also make a good teacher, or maybe a translator for instance.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

with your heavy venus presence, I'm sure you're very elegant. even if you're just wearing a sweatshirt with pants, you still manage to make it look so expensive and particular. you may like pastel, light colours, or even earthy shades like kaki, brown etc. you prefer using comfortable clothes, but you definitely know how to dress up when you have to. you might also be very fond of accessories, like jewellery and bags. you may also enjoy buying designer clothes, but even if they're cheaper, you want them to be of a nice quality. you may also enjoy going thrift shopping, as you may like wearing 'timeless' items, such as white shirts, blazers, coats, classic heels... basically, versatile clothes that are a must in your wardrobe, as they've always been trendy. you could also love oversized fits, as well as 80s/90s aesthetic.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / february 4th

you could be feeling a bit confused. with transit saturn being conjunct your natal neptune, you may be feeling constantly sleepy or perhaps sleep-deprived. you may have trouble resting or feeling at ease, especially in your home environment. your mind could be filled with worries, and hence you find it hard to relax. you may also find yourself arguing a lot with your partner or maybe with your friends or family members, especially since transit mars is about to be conjunct your natal taurus venus in a few days.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) -libramc xx