#pride and prejudice talk

[austennerdita2533]

Hi to my friend and favorite Austen scholar :) I was wondering if you consider Darcy and Elizabeth an example of the opposites attract trope? I get that they APPEAR very different, with Lizzie exuberant and prone to laughing and teasing while Darcy is a fundamentally serious, reserved introvert. But as I reread and rewatch, I'm struck by how alike I think they actually are. They're both very critical, discerning and quick to judge, they're both extremely clever and intelligent, they're both very insightful (though, like all of us, only when it comes to people other than themselves and those they're closest to!), they're both close to very few but fiercely loyal and loving towards those they do let in, they're both very analytical and contemplative, they're both too stubborn and prideful and reluctant to change their ways until they both learn that's more a sign of strength than weakness. I could bore you by rambling further, but hopefully you get the point! I'm curious whether you agree that they're actually more fundamentally similar than different...? Or am I just as off base as usual?!

Hello lovely, and what a good question!

You know, I've always considered Darcy and Elizabeth to be opposites on the surface but then quite similar beneath it. (That probably reads like a bit of a cop out on my part, but I think it makes sense if you slice it apart.) I'd argue that combination is largely what makes them such a captivating pairing overall.

The so-called "opposite" attributes Darcy and Elizabeth possess work in a two-fold fashion. On the one hand, it explains why they butt heads in the beginning because, in personality, not to mention in the manner in which they're both able to interact with people - acquaintances and/or strangers, especially - they are diametrically opposed. She's extroverted, lively, good humored, and easy to engage in conversation. He's severe, socially inept, broody, and reserved to the point of being almost monosyllabic at the best of times. That difference fosters a lot of tension between them initially. They don't know what to make of each other. How to interact. It also helps to create, elongate, and preserve the canyon of misunderstanding that makes up their dynamic for the first half of the book.

On the other hand, the differences in their dispositions are also where hardcore attraction comes into play. They both gravitate toward, seek to investigate, rather, the qualities the other person has that they do not. It's like catnip. Draws them in like magnets. They're both similarly afflicted in that regard, I'd say.

Darcy is bewitched by Elizabeth's vivacity and openness, by her ability to laugh at the absurdity that is present throughout society. She's easy among new company where he is stilted, uncomfortable, and he LIKES being around her because of that. It draws him out of his shell. Forces him to be more present and attentive, even if "more present" manifests only in the heady looks he shoots at her from across the ballroom. He's stimulated by her wit, by her teasing. She astonishes him (in a good way), keeps him on his toes, and that's exciting...erotic.

Elizabeth, too, even in her most fastidious "I have never sought your good opinion" moments can't help but be caught up in the enigma that is Darcy. Arrogant and taciturn though he seems, his aloofness, as well as the natural reserve which surrounds him, makes him equal parts interesting and grating to her because she's unable to fully figure him out. She tries to glean what she can about him from observation, from limited time spent in his company, but he's essentially a lockbox (rude!), so instead she has to rely on the gossip that other people (Wickham) have related, and even then she's not satisfied. She still wants to know more. Needs to know more about who he is. She says herself that the different accounts she's heard of him "puzzle her exceedingly." The point here being that she can't stop trying to puzzle out the man from the second they meet no matter how hard she tries. She's caught up without realizing just how caught up she is. I mean, even when she's declaring she hates him I'd argue there's still a part of her that's more enthralled with him than anything. He remains an unsolved mystery, which is maddening as well as a little dazzling; so conscious or not, she feels a pull toward him. It cannot be helped. She's in over her head. I believe she's desperate to know if there's more to him than meets the eye (though she'd rather die than admit such a thing.) So really, his introversion has its own attractions for her as well--it keeps her probing, orbiting.

Like you mentioned, too, Darcy and Elizabeth have a lot of traits in common. They're clever, contemplative, critical, astute, and stubborn, to name a few. However, where the juxtaposition comes into the mix is how these things are expressed in their individual personalities. Because, in that regard, they do express or convey these traits differently. I think that's where the "opposites attract" trope could apply.

That said, Darcy and Elizabeth do both face similar conflicts throughout the novel. They're each prideful in their own way and must learn how to overcome their own snobbery, their own criticisms of people. I think we tend to overlook that as something they share because of how it manifests, again, with respect to their individual personalities and social classes. But without that tenet of similarity tying them together there'd be no romantic tension in the novel. That's the whole point of conflict upon which the whole plot turns - their respective (and mutual!) pride and prejudice. Also, if they both weren't loyal and protective of those they loved most in the world, and if they hadn't had a mutual evolution where they'd learned not to be so quick to judge others and forgive past grievances, then the romantic resolution between them would have fallen flat. As readers, we wouldn't have been rooting so hard for them to be together if they hadn't had those things in common. Right?

Part of the reason we consider Darcy and Elizabeth to be well-matched match by the end of the story is because they're opposites on the surface who are bound by the same moral fiber - character - underneath. They're good people who have made and learned from their own mistakes. That growth is what matters. It's because of their mutual self-reflection and self-improvement that they're able to come together to form a healthy union.

In my estimation Darcy and Elizabeth are similar in all the big ways that matter - smart, devoted, forgiving, dependable, loving, etc. - and different in ways - cheerful, stoic, witty, quiet, rich, bougie etc. - that allows their dynamic to feel fresh and surprising...not to mention swoon worthy as hell!