#pastlives

[use-ur-inside-voice]

Past Lives: How can a movie be so beautiful yet painful?

I watched Past Lives this past Tuesday, and I have some thoughts. I won’t necessarily speak to the movie itself, but instead to how this movie made me feel. After I left the theater, I felt this wave of sadness rush to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness as I thought about Nora and how her story is so similar to the stories of other immigrants. I know that a lot of people have been taken with the romance in this movie, but I think we all need to step back and refocus for a bit. This is a movie about immigrants, and how immigration can impact everything and everyone. As I was saying, I couldn’t shake this feeling of sadness after leaving the theater. I could only think about my mother, and how her life would be different if she didn’t immigrate to the U.S.

Would she still be a nurse? Would she have followed her passions of being an English teacher or a lawyer? Would she have more kids? Would my sisters and I know our mother tongue fluently instead of constantly asking, “What does that mean?” Would I be close with my grandmother whom I never see or understand? Would I feel the pressures of having to be extremely successful in order to feel like my life was worth it? That my parents’ pilgrimage to the U.S. was worth it? That their sacrifice was worth it? How would being the eldest daughter be if not for my immigrant parents making me feel like I need to be the saving grace of the family? Would be mother be happy? Would we be happy? 

Every so often, my parents pull out their old photo albums and show me who they once were. Photos of large smiles on faces I don’t recognize. Photos of friends, aunts and uncles at parties that I have never met. Seeing my parents light up at the photos and hearing them go on and on about what life was like when they were in their home country. The community they once had, the lives they lived, the happiness they experienced. I could see the longing for those memories in their eyes, full of glee and sadness at the same time. 

My parents, especially my mother, speaks in the future tense. “Once I go back home...,” “I’m going to walk on the beach...” “I can’t wait to see my sisters again...” “I hope I can see my mom one more time...” It pains me to think that the life that my mother lives is not one that she longed for. It’s not a life she wanted. She longs for something I can not give her. And so I’m left with the thought of what would life look life if my parents never won a green card in the green card lottery? Would my mother be happy? 

Past Lives is a beautiful yet painful reminder that the life of an immigrant can be upended in seconds, whether for better or worse. It is more than just a love story, in fact, the romance between the two main characters acts as a vehicle to show us the real meaning behind the movie. Who were we? Who are we? And who will we become? It is sometimes too painful to think about what could’ve been, but something I learned from Past Lives is that it is also beautiful to reminisce on the past, embrace the present, and look forward to the future. I hope someday my mother can go back to her home country and live out the rest of her days, and I hope once she does that I never have to ask, “Would my mother be happy?”

[victorianchap]

🔸The Panama Slide in Coney Island after it was built in 1908. Very popular at time, especially with adults! #victorianchaps #coneyisland #slide #edwardian #goodolddays #funfair #history #oldphoto #vintage #nostalgia #retro #1900s #pastlives (at Coney Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqItUQhjPlX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[amorinthewater]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Lily Evans Potter Additional Tags: Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Minor Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dialogue Heavy, Shameless Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Comfort/Angst, Regulus Black & Sirius Black Have a Good Relationship, POV Regulus Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Bisexual James Potter, Writer Regulus Black, Heartbreak, Top James Potter, Mutual Pining, Time Skips, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Regulus Black Summary:

“I lost you that day.” James says.

“You didn’t, I’m right here.”

“But you won’t be in a week. You won’t be for years. What am I supposed to do?”

“You'll live," Regulus says, a tear tracing down his cheek, "You'll go out there, and you'll live. You'll hurt for a while and it'll feel like the world has cursed you, but one day it won’t hurt anymore. And you’ll laugh again, you’ll love too and before you know it you’ve lived a full life.”

James breaks out in sobs.

/

This is probably the story I’m more attached to, of all the things I’ve ever wrote. Be kind ☺️

[848ellie]

Time Loops ⌛ Our planet is a school and we are here to learn its lessons. This is why some of us keep coming back to the same families where we get another chance to overcome the same challenges, make the same choices, and deal with the same issues that happened in the past.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Feed me all the lies..

[sogoodcontent]

Past Lives (2023)

[hellobadjalley]

[elbisonodelcine]

🎞️Past Lives (2023 🎥Celine Song 📷Shabier Kirchner

[luckytohavebucky]

About My Past Lives With Bucky

So, I'm trying really hard to not make the same mistake I did with my Why Bucky Is Real (Which I changed to Why I Know Bucky Is Real and adjusted the wording but looks like too late or whatever) entry and to give people the benefit of the doubt at least that they won't just think I'm weird, but I'm also trying to like not care either way, and yeah, obviously this entry fits into my being rather different far as the way I have for Bucky, but it helps me and is like therapeutic to makes these entries no matter what, and of course I wanted to elaborate on what I've said about past lives with Bucky, so, yeah, started off track a bit, but I'm back, and now on to every time I've known and been with Bucky throughout history...

Life 1 (so far as I know): Somewhere in the Middle East, probably around the 14 to 1600s, reality unknown but undoubtedly highly advanced (in terms of weapons at least)

This 1 I have the least impression about; I don't even know what Bucky's name was, but I think he may have been a prince (however, he didn't have a beard or wear a turban, which of course that would be another indicator of whether that life had taken place in the MCU or this reality, which probably it wasn't in either), and I was a woman at that time, I guess, possibly with so-called noble lineage, either way it would set a pattern for how quickly things end or how little is actually shown ('though ironically, I learned about this past life only recently), so there's a point where Bucky was arguing to his father about Bucky marrying me, and so far, everything is (mostly) very how would expect from that time period, but apparently, there was a war going on (I know), and a bomb went off near the palace; Bucky and his father at that point were fine, but Bucky left to go find me, and we ended up huddling in a ditch when enemy troops were patrolling the streets, but they found us, grabbed me, shot me as Bucky desperately tried to stop them; and the last thing I saw was Bucky about to get shot, so, yeah, that sucked, but like I said it ends up being like par for the course.

Life 2: Southern United States, 1850s, this reality

Bucky was a woman named Amelia in this life, and she looked exactly how Bucky would if he was the so-called opposite gender except that she was blonde, and she was the daughter of the owner of a plantation on which I was an enslaved man named Joseph, so this life seems to introduce my false flame, someone who appears at 1st to be right but (typically inadvertently) is actually very toxic/problematic, often getting in the way of being able to see one's real, proper person (such as the case with me and Bucky); my negative flame is called Artie, and at that time was an enslaved woman named Serena, so it got to the point where Amelia and I had something of a plan for me to escape; it was easier for me to go by myself and send for Serena when I could send someone and arrange to "buy her back", which I realise how that seems, but it was not unheard of for black people to "purchase" other black people back then, and this was before the Underground Railroad really got underway, and of course I wouldn't actually be buying her when it comes to it, or maybe that wasn't even the plan; That parts not real clear, like, but yeah, so anyway, clearly I had stronger feelings for Amelia, but I was loyal to Serena, and I mean... It's not like my starting a relationship with a "slave owner"'s daughter would have gone smoothly, but regardless, it didn't matter in the end, because after I came out of an outhouse where I'd stopped to freshen up and shave (a razor having been left on a shelf with a small bowl of water) I was promptly shot yet again, Amelia's father apparently having learned of my escape at that time and considering me "expendable"; I have no idea what happened to Amelia, or Serena for that matter.

Life 3: Probably somewhere in Western Europe, 1914, MCU

Bucky was an American Airman named (coincidentally) Roger in this life, looked exactly as he does now and at the time things, happened, was likely in his early 20s; I was an English nurse named Hellen or Ellen, and so, yeah, this 1 is the most upsetting, and I've never been able to outright talk about it without getting extremely emotional, but sometimes writing can be easier, either way, I wanna get it over with, so Roger was the gunner for a biplane, and just before he went up for the last time he proposed to me, and of course I said yes, but shortly after, his co-pilot who clearly was my negative flame (though I don't recall his name at that time) came to the hospital I was volunteering at to inform me that Roger had, I know Bucky is like fine now, but this is still really hard, and I can't say it, but anyway, there was a plane shooting at them, and Roger tried to shoot back, but they got too close, and he couldn't aim in time (which may very well have to do with why Bucky doesn't fly or like to be in front of planes, such), so, then I ended up marrying my false flame, passed away from what I can only guess was a broken heart 3 years later, and of course that's the end of Bucky's past lives.

Life 4: 1929, Brooklyn, MCU

This is it, when I was actually physically (not just spiritually) in the MCU with Bucky as Bucky, and this is my 2nd favourite life until this 1 where evidently it was better for my staying with Bucky (even though it may seem ironic), so obviously Bucky and I were 12 years old, and maybe I had the same name, but I'm pretty sure I must've looked just how I did before I started to transition, and well, I started developing pretty early, so I was inadvertently popular with other boys, and before I get to what I said to Bucky about that along with Bucky's response, I wanna backtrack to say that this is where Steve comes in (even though I feel like I didn't really get to know him as we were both painfully shy), and Bucky at that time still thought of Steve almost like a kid brother; Bucky didn't really develop feelings for him until losing me and until Steve got a bit older, being how he was only 9 at that time, but Bucky was already trying to help Steve get in good with the girls, so Bucky arranged for the younger sister of 1 of the kids we were on a group date with to go out with Steve, and even then Steve was a "loser", so of course that little so-and-so stood him up, which Bucky wasn't having any part of that; he went to her house and told her off, and just when people were wondering what was keeping Bucky he came back and explained the situation to Steve, who ended up going home after Bucky made sure he was gonna be all right, then people were getting impatient so we headed on to the cinema where we were gonna watch The Broadway Melody, but Bucky and I decided we'd rather just be with each other than hang out with a bunch of practically strangers catching an overrated musical just 'cause that's the sort of thing you're expected to do when you're the "it" couple, and anyway, Bucky didn't wanna waste time because I got the impression I'd told Bucky early that I had bone cancer, which even now can be difficult to treat, so, yeah, I wasn't long for that world, but at the time of the past life memory I was feeling pretty good, and I mean... I was with Bucky, so there were these steps that led into a side door of the cinema, and Bucky and I went behind those and were holding each other, which is when I told Bucky I didn't really get the fuss about me, why boys ignored their girlfriends when I was around, such like that, and Bucky responded with: "Are you kidding? Look at you!", and I know he didn't just mean in the outright physical sense, but yeah, obviously Bucky was being very Bucky throughout all of it, and so then we kissed, and that was it, but the thing is, that's the 1st time Bucky shared a memory like that with me, and Bucky doesn't remember much from when he was a child (a little about Steve), and I feel like the tragedy of the whole thing made Bucky like tuck it away even before, however, that still made Bucky very distraught; he said: Why don't I remember you?!", and it bloody well broke my heart, like during Captain America The Winter Soldier when Bucky was saying about how he remembered Steve but couldn't recall his name or why or from where; he was just so helpless, and then what happened next... It was completely awful, and I just hate that scene, worst in any range that takes place in the MCU, but fortunately, Bucky wasn't alone this time, and I just caressed his face with my left hand (my right always being on Bucky's heart which is technically easier as I'm only 156 and 1 half centimetres while Bucky is a towering 194 and 1 half centimetres tall but of course we figure it out) and told Bucky (in so many words as I tend to not recall exactly what I say) that it was understandable as Bucky actually hadn't known me for very long at that point, would probably have wanted to move on from what happened anyway and that obviously it wasn't his fault, so then Bucky smiled; we kissed, and that's pretty well it.

2 past lives after that the timing was right for me to be born into this world, learn about Bucky and ultimately be at the right like place to find Bucky (with a fair amount of help in a way), and yeah, clearly Bucky and I just literally being together wasn't working, so the fates or whatever figured out another way, or maybe Bucky and I figured out another way; our slogan to each other after all is "We always find a way.", and as a satanist I'm a staunch proponent that individuals have so much more power than they realise to shape their own destiny, but however it turned the way it has, I'm just absolutely grateful that Bucky and I truly understand what we mean to each other now, what we have, and so now no matter what happens we don't have to let go.

[kowalskivision]

Past Lives, 2023, dir of photography Shabier Kirchner

[pennyclifford]

My Titanic Secret

I hardly ever tell anyone but extremely close friends ‘My Special Secret Of  Titanic’, in fear that I might get scoffed at ..

If you are not believer in extraordinary happenings or past lives, I URGE you not to read on ..

I have had a very colorful life being a Transgender Showgirl and over the years have been lucky to experience things I never expected too, but I always felt there must be a reason for my life’s journey that I was taken on.

As a young boy I hardly ever did anything slightly masculine or remotely boyish, I was a child librarian, sang in the choir, went to dance classes, knitted and generally acted like a girl..

But there was 1 thing I was completely addicted to in the 1960's & 70's and that was anything to do with the Titanic .. (this was long before James Cameron's movie made the ship popular).

I would read book after book on Titanic, had posters on my bedroom wall and built 1 hobby model after another of the great Ship..

Even as my teenage years came on, Titanic and its posters on my bedroom wall still outnumbered my ABBA posters and that was truly a big deal..

I never really understood my infatuation with her (Titanic) and just enjoyed my love for the story without analyzing it.

Another aspect of my childhood was that I would never let my head be put underwater, whether it was at the beach, in a pool or in the bath, it terrified me, I would go into hysterics if it accidentally happened.

Later in life as I started my journey on the road of a Transgender woman and faced many struggles in changing my gender, I often sought spiritual avenues to help me along the way..

One such path in the late 1980's was a clairvoyant called Karen who lived in Bondi and only did readings for Gays, Lesbians & Trans People as she felt we were more interesting …

In my early years of Trans life, I often questioned my journey and was it the right path for me, and I thought a ‘reading’ my give me insight to my future, but what I discovered was a revelation to my past..

Karen, read my cards but it was not till she read my jellewery ( a gold ring) that I was left dumbstruck and my childhood made sense.

She told me that I had been a little girl of 6 or 7 who died on the Titanic, I was in 3rd Class (Typical) and My Mum and Brother died with me..

Karen went on to say that she felt that I had a bond with the Titanic that was unbreakable and that my life would often revolve around important dates in relation to Titanic.

She then asked had I ever in my past read anything about Titanic and how did I feel about water or being on a boat.

My childhood memories filled me, and I suddenly felt like all the pieces of a jigsaw fell into place, my obsessiveness about Titanic, my fear of water and never really feeling safe on a boat..

Karen said that as I travelled through life Titanic and its special dates would still play integral moments in my life..

There are many moments over the years that I can relate my life to dates of the Titanic April 12th when she sailed and April 14th when she struck the iceberg and April 15th when she sank, my longest lasting relationship was where my BF’s Birthday was the day the Titanic sailed out of Southampton.

One of my very close friends who helped define me in the 90’s, his birthday was the Day the Titanic struck the Iceberg, and my eldest brother died the day the Titanic first touched water when it slid out of its dry dock in Belfast. I have lost and started jobs on these dates and many more meaningful occurrences are all centered around the same dates.

I am sure if I sat and truly analyzed special moments in my life I would find more historic comparisons but none more that the next secret ..

After many soul-searching years of Trans life, I finally decided to undergo sex reassignment surgery in 1990 and seeing 2 Doctors decided on Dr Howell a Gynecologist in Macquarie St.

After many appointments and 3 years of Psychiatrist therapy I was approved. I was booked into Canterbury Public Hospital for the Surgery March 24th.

I was beside myself with nerves and on the day showed up to the hospital only to be told there had been a major accident and there were no beds.. I was horrified as I had worked up through my nerves..

I saw Dr Howell the next day and requested to go to a Pvt Hospital and that I would find the extra $ as I knew that there, they would not turn me away next time no matter what.

I, without thinking of dates, as I was so in the head space of my surgery checked into Double Bay Pvt Hospital 12th April (The day Titanic Sailed on her Maiden Voyage) and on the 14th April had my Surgery (The day Titanic hit the Iceberg) and came out of the anesthetic on the 15th April (The day Titanic Sunk).

Of course, at the time I was oblivious to these coincidences but a few months after my surgery I went back to Karen the Clairvoyant now that my Trans Journey was complete and had a new reading ..

She then reminded me of the dates and Titanic and told me that the surgery was was my soul finally finding the Women’s body I was meant to be in and transforming on the dates was no coincidence, this was how it was meant to be..

I was dumdfounded and still feel quite erie when I tell story..

I am sure there will be some of you that will be laughing, scoffing or will be disbelievers but this is my life, and it makes sense to me in every fiber of my being ..

Its My Special Secret of The Titanic.

[knoxvillerose-blog]

3 Vintage Books on Reincarnation at KnoxvilleRose on Etsy

Reincarnation batch - Great selection on the topic!

[victorianchap]

🔸 1919 Olive Thomas and her Russian wolfhound, by Hartsook Studios. She was a silent movie actress and one of the original jazz era flappers who sadly died a year later in 1920. She swallowed a bottle of corrosive bichloride mercury in a hotel bathroom in Paris Ritz: an “accidental” death apparently. Source: talesofamadcapheiress.com. #victorianchaps #oldphoto #hollywood #actress #beauty #oldphoto #goodolddays #silentmovies #flapper #jazzera #pastlives #retro #1910s #nostalgia #dog https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpz1y1XDYYt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[thechristos]

o γκρινιάρης, αλλά κυρίως το φιδάκι.

ένα επιτραπέζιο, δυο ζάρια, όλο το βράδυ.

[moon-atomic-21]

@anthonygreen666 💙💙💙 @lsdunes at @1720warehouse this past Sunday Photos and edits by @moon.atomic.21 April 9, 2023 #lsdunes #pastlives #lostsouls #anthonygreen #thursdayband #soundsofanimalsfighting #circasurvive #saosin #concertphotography #laundryedit #beforeandafter (at 1720) https://www.instagram.com/p/CrFP6xZLHp-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lamissnovember]