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Stone Folly Arch in Benington Lordship Gardens, England.

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My beloved boys

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Cigarette smoke and old books. Faded sketches and rain-soaked streets. The poetry of solitude written in sepia tones.

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and all i loved, i loved alone

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And I, wanna die

For this life is useless

from the beginning

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I survived the worst psychosis I have ever been through and all I wanted to do was talk to my best friend and everything is wrong somehow and I can’t talk to her like normal. A lot of you have been so sweet to me but I’m so terrified of strangers I find it hard to make friends and talk to people. I went to a new psychiatrist at home and I got a HUGE list of diagnoses.. many I’ve already heard but it feels impossible to believe. How does mdd, pdd, gad, ptsd, bpd, atypical anorexia, and “paranoid schizophrenia” make it all into one person? I already take four separate medications daily and the new doctor wants to add a fifth one.. am I even going to know who I am anymore? I’m not taking them right now.. I don’t feel right when I’m on them

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Martha Gellhorn, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Marth Gellhorn

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𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔩 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔠𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔰

𝔞𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔲𝔫, 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔣𝔦𝔢𝔡

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A Scholar in His Study (Faust), Rembrandt van Rijn, 1652.

Faust, Part One, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1808.

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Benvenuto Tisi (Il Garofalo), Annunciation (details), 1528

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Gustave Doré 

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Ch'ang Ch'u Ling, translated by Kenneth Rexroth, from a poem titled "Since You Left,"

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‘Keika hyakugiku’, a Meiji era book from Japan.

Smithsonian Digital Library: https://s.si.edu/2ZRaysl

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Banana Yoshimoto, from her novel titled "The Premonition," originally published in 2015

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Upstairs