#Harry Potter x Reader

[fear-less]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 what letter? sirius, what letter?

pairing: james potter x f!reader

➥ In which, you never planned on talking to james ever again, not after your last encounter with him. Luckily Sirius saves the day.

an: omg last chapter, and its my fav.... hopefully this convinces some of y'all to watch anne with an e....I LOVE awae. ALSO!! i’m going to start writing all requests in my inbox, send some! i’m gonna start with the oldest then the more recent ones! also, im not ignoring your request if it takes a while😭 i’ll be writing then get stuck on what to do then move onto the next thing… bad habit but😭

Warnings: angst, fluff, this inspired by awae (aka the best show ever), another letter James wrote gets lost ayyyyy, literally that's all…

series masterlist ! - divider creds: i-mmaculatus & dollywons

It was now June, the end of your final year at Hogwarts. The castle, which had been your home for the past seven years, seemed to hum with the bittersweet energy of goodbyes. If you had told your eleven-year-old self that you’d be leaving these halls without James, she would’ve been heartbroken—devastated, even.

Back then, you’d believed in the stories. You’d believed that the boy who made your heart race would be the one you’d leave Hogwarts with, hand in hand, ready to take on the world together. But life had a way of unraveling those childish dreams, weaving something far more complicated in their place.

James hadn’t spoken to you since that night—since you’d spilled your heart out and he’d told you to marry Finn. It wasn’t anger or malice that kept you apart, but a quiet, mutual understanding that too much had been said, and yet not enough to bring you back to where you were before.

You told yourself it was better this way.

Finn was everything a girl could hope for: kind, considerate, and endlessly patient. He never pressured you for answers when your mind drifted during a conversation, never asked why you’d go quiet whenever someone mentioned James. You were grateful for that. But as the end of term feast approached, with the prospect of leaving Hogwarts forever hanging over you, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of everything left unsaid.

James sat at the Gryffindor table, surrounded by his friends, but the usual Marauder energy was dampened. He’d won the Quidditch Cup, aced his N.E.W.T.s, and had offers from the most prestigious Quidditch teams waiting for him. By all accounts, he should’ve been ecstatic. But as he watched you sitting across the Great Hall, laughing softly at something Finn said, James felt hollow.

He’d told himself he was doing the right thing. That night in the common room, when you’d asked him if there was a chance for the two of you, he’d convinced himself that pushing you toward Finn was what you deserved. Stability. A future he couldn’t promise.

But watching you now, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d made a mistake.

“Mate,” Sirius said quietly, nudging James with his elbow, “you’re staring again.”

James tore his gaze away, his jaw tightening. “I wasn’t staring,” he muttered, though his friends knew better.

“You’ve got one night left,” Sirius continued, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “If you’re going to do something about this, now’s your chance.”

James shook his head, laughing bitterly. “What am I supposed to do? Walk up to her, tell her I’m an idiot, and beg her to take me back? She’s with Finn now, Pads. She’s happy.”

“Is she?” Remus asked quietly, his eyes flicking to you. “Because from where I’m sitting, she looks like someone who’s convincing herself she’s happy.”

James didn’t respond for a while, this was his last chance of seeing her–he couldn’t lose her. 

“You're right. I’m going to see her tonight. I’ll tell her that I missed what she was trying to tell me!” James said, now in a bit of a better mood. 

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Once night fell, James made his way to your dormitory. He prayed no one but you would be there. Out of your four roommates, he only knew two, and he’d seen them sitting in the common room without you. That meant you had to be in your dorm, right?

The corridors were quiet but not empty. Most of the dormitory doors were open, with people wandering in and out. It didn’t take long for him to find your door—how could he forget it when he’d been inside so many times before?

James stepped in cautiously, but his heart sank when he realized the room was empty. You weren’t there. He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. This was supposed to be it—the last time he’d ever get a chance to talk to you—and you weren’t even here.

His eyes wandered to your side of the room. It was unusually tidy, and most of your belongings were already packed away. The only things left were a few scattered pieces of parchment, a quill, an inkpot, and an envelope on the desk.

Before he even realized what he was doing, James sat down at your desk. His hand hovered over the parchment for a moment before he began to write, his thoughts spilling out faster than he could process them.

“Dear… (Y/N),” he murmured to himself as the words took shape. “I’m sorry... I was confused before. I’m not anymore. I love you. –James.

P.S. May I please... have Buddy back?”

James smiled faintly as he reread the last part. Buddy was the stuffed animal you’d gifted him on his birthday before you’d snatched it back after losing a bet. If things didn’t work out, at least he’d have something to remind him of what you two once had. Maybe he’d even pass it on to his future child—if he had one.

He quickly folded the note, wrote your name on it and placed it neatly on your desk. 

 ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

You’d spent almost the entire day with Finn, and at first, everything seemed fine. But, as always, the cracks begin to show, and yet another argument erupted.

“Do you not trust me?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended, though the bitterness behind it was impossible to hide.

“No, I don’t. No man would if they were in my place!” Finn shot back, his tone defensive, the edge in his words cutting deeper than he realized.

You scoffed, the sting of his accusation hitting harder than you wanted to admit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you need to stay away from James,” he said, his voice rising. “Someone told me they saw you two talking alone in a corridor. I know you used to be good friends, but you haven’t spoken in months. You’ve never told me why, so I can only assume the worst!”

“We stopped talking for a reason I don’t even understand myself!” you fired back, your frustration bubbling over, your voice shaking with the weight of the truth.

Finn’s expression darkened, his lips curling into a bitter frown. “Yeah, sure. I totally believe you. He definitely didn’t distance himself because he fancies you. He looks at you the way I do.”

His words were a gut punch, the weight of his jealousy and mistrust pressing down on you. For a moment, you stood frozen, your heart pounding in your chest. Then, taking a deep, steadying breath, you decided you were done dancing around the truth.

“He doesn’t fancy me,” you said, your voice trembling, though you forced yourself to meet his gaze. “And I know that for a fact. Since you want honesty, fine. I dragged James out of that party. I told him…” You hesitated, but the words came spilling out before you could stop them. “I told him how much I love him. That I’d leave you if he wanted me to. And do you know what he said?”

Finn’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing, so you pressed on, tears now streaming freely down your face.

“He told me you’re a great guy. That I deserve you. He didn’t even tell me he loved me back.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Finn stood there, his expression unreadable, his jaw set like stone. You couldn’t tell if he was angry, hurt, or simply done. After what felt like an eternity, he turned on his heel and walked out without a word, leaving you alone in his empty dormitory.

You stood there for a moment, stunned, as the weight of what had just happened settled over you. Was this the end of whatever fragile future you’d tried to build with Finn? You didn’t know. All you knew was that the room felt stifling, the air too thick to breathe.

Wiping the tears from your cheeks, you pulled yourself together enough to leave. Sitting here, drowning in your own thoughts, wasn’t going to help. You needed air, a distraction—anything to stop the whirlwind in your mind.

The cool night air greeted you as you made your way to the Black Lake. The walk was long, but with every step, your nerves began to settle. The gentle lapping of the water and the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze worked to quiet the storm in your head, if only for a little while.

As you stood by the Black Lake, the moonlight dancing across the rippling water, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to keep your emotions from unraveling. Finn's words echoed in your mind, but instead of providing any sense of resolution, they left you with a heavier burden of confusion and regret.

You had laid everything bare—your feelings for James, your failed attempt to move on with Finn—and now, for the first time in ages, you felt unmoored. The certainty you’d desperately tried to force, the future you envisioned with Finn, had shattered. All that remained were questions, unanswered and painful.

You closed your eyes, letting the cool breeze wash over you, as though trying to cleanse the ache that lingered in your chest. Your heart still aches for James, despite everything. But what was the point in holding onto hope? He had made his feelings—or lack thereof—clear. And now Finn, the only thread that had tied you to some semblance of stability, was slipping away too.

After what felt like an eternity of sitting there in solitude, you made your way back to Hogwarts. When you reached your dorm, you didn’t bother tidying the mess on your desk. The next person who would stay there would find scattered pieces of parchment, half-used ink, and a neglected quill—unless the house-elves came to clean and dispose of it all.

You opened your luggage, only to realize you’d packed everything, leaving no clothes behind for the night or morning. That’s when your eyes landed on the small stuffed bear. A wave of emotions washed over you at the sight of it. You wiped away the tears you hadn't even realized had been falling. Sniffling, you stood up and made your way to the washroom to shower, hoping the warm water would wash away at least some of the weight on your heart.

Once you were out of the shower, the thoughts continued to swirl in your mind. After a long pause, you decided to write to James. You didn’t think you could face him—not after he rejected you, not when your emotions were still raw and all over the place.

Dear James, Since we are parting ways, perhaps forever, I feel I must unburden my heart. You are the fond object of my affection and my desire.  You, and you alone, are the keeper of the key to my heart.  Please don’t be alarmed--I don’t expect your favor--but I can’t, in good conscience, not reveal myself.  I’m not engaged--nor will I be--unless, it’s to you, James.  It always has been and always will be you.

With love, (Y/N)

PS: Here’s Buddy, in case you want him. I don’t think I can keep him without crying whenever I see him.

As you finished the letter, you sat there, staring at the words that held every ounce of your vulnerability. Your hands trembled as you carefully folded the parchment and slid it into an envelope. For a moment, you hesitated. Doubts surged in your mind—was this the right thing to do? What if he never read it? What if this only made everything worse?

But deep down, you knew it was the only way to find closure. You couldn’t carry these feelings any longer, locked away inside. This letter wasn’t just for him—it was for you too, a way to finally release the emotions that had weighed you down for so long.

You reached for Buddy, the small stuffed bear that had once brought you so much comfort. Seeing him now only reopened old wounds, but at the same time, he reminded you of the love you had for James—the love you still had, even though it wasn’t returned. You hugged Buddy tightly one last time, letting a few tears fall before tucking him into the package with the letter.

You had considered waiting until morning to deliver it, but the thought of sleeping on it felt impossible. You needed to let go of this weight before you could rest. So, once all your roommates were asleep, you slipped out of the dorm and made your way to James' room. The dorm was empty, just as you'd expected. Whenever there was a holiday, the boys would often roam the grounds late into the night, returning well after curfew.

You placed the package—Buddy and the letter—gently on James' bed. You glanced around the room, the usually cluttered space now oddly quiet and foreign. Standing in it alone, you couldn’t shake the feeling of how much had changed. With a final, shaky breath, you turned and left, the door clicking softly behind you as you disappeared into the darkness.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It was nearing three-thirty in the morning when the boys finally returned. Sirius stumbled in, clearly drunk beyond belief, while Remus went straight to the shower, and Peter collapsed into his bed, too tired to think. James, however, stood frozen in his doorway.

His eyes were locked on a small brown-covered package resting on his bed. Confusion washed over him as he approached. He quickly tore it open, finding a folded piece of parchment with his name written in your handwriting—and Buddy.

His chest tightened with anger. "Oh, really, (Y/N)? You couldn’t even face me? World class!" His voice was laced with frustration as his eyes flicked from the bear to the letter. All he could focus on was how you'd read his letter and now returned Buddy.

You actually gave Buddy back? He remembered you promising, no—vowing—never to part with it, no matter what. Yes, he'd asked for it, but this… this was more than just a simple request.

Without thinking, James ripped the letter apart. His fists clenched around the torn pieces as he made his way into the empty common room. In a fit of rage, he threw the scraps into the fire.

As the flames flickered, a sudden thought struck him, and his stomach dropped. “What if... oh, shit!” he muttered, cursing himself. What if you had come to speak to him, only to find he wasn’t in the dorm, and in desperation, wrote that letter? What if it was your way of telling him that you felt the same, that you regretted everything, and that you still cared?

But now, it was too late. The letter was gone, burned to ash.

James stood frozen, clutching the remaining pieces of the letter in his hands, the ink smudging as he frantically pieced together the broken words:

Parting ways... Don't... Heart... Finn... Engaged... Don't love... Alarmed... Not... Alone... Forever...

What was all of this? Engaged to Finn? You just met him, for Merlin’s sake! And why would you tell him that in the letter? Did you want to make him feel worse, to confirm that you had truly moved on?

The sound of a door creaking open snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned to see Remus stepping into the room, his expression one of quiet surprise. With Sirius and Peter asleep, James saw no reason to keep this to himself any longer. Remus was always the one who could make sense of things, the one who could calm him down when nothing else could.

“Remus, don’t go back to sleep, please," James blurted, pacing in frustration. "I’ve got breaking news! That night at the party? Forget it. Turns out (Y/N) doesn’t love me after all. She wrote me a letter explaining it—and told me she’s engaged to Finn!”

Remus paused, looking at him with wide eyes. “You told yourself—and us—that you would get over her. If she’s really engaged to Finn, then... let’s start now.”

James shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t, Remus.”

“You can, and you will,” Remus said firmly, his tone softer but still resolute. “Once you’re over her, you’ll be able to move on. It’ll be a new chapter, James—one without her in it.”

James’s face twisted in pain. “I want to be happy, Remus. I just can’t. (Y/N) is marrying the man of her dreams, and that man isn’t me.”

Remus sighed, stepping closer to his friend. He knew James too well, and knew how deep this went. “Let’s go to bed,” Remus said gently. “We’ve got an early morning ahead of us. Maybe you’ll have a chance to speak to her tomorrow? Tell her—and the others,” he added, gesturing toward Peter and Sirius, “maybe they’ll have a better plan for you.”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

You were on the train now, staring out the window as the platform slowly filled with students saying their last goodbyes. You were ready to go home—or at least as ready as you could be. Ready to return to your parents, who still thought you were with Finn. The truth of your relationship, however, was far murkier. You and Finn hadn’t officially broken things off, but the silence that followed your last argument felt louder than any words could. It was obvious, even if neither of you had said it out loud.

The weight of everything sat heavily on your shoulders as you watched the scene outside. Friends hugged tightly, some with tears streaming down their faces, while others exchanged laughs and promises to write over the summer. There was a bittersweetness to it all—a kind of closure, even in the goodbyes. But you didn’t feel that closure. Instead, you felt like you were caught in a loop of unresolved emotions and unanswered questions.

You’d managed to find an empty compartment. It wasn’t hard when you were one of the first to board while everyone else lingered, reluctant to leave the castle behind. The quiet was what you needed—time to think, to breathe, to let the ache in your chest settle.

Diana, who's your best friend and practically your sister from how close you two are and your friends had offered to sit with you, but you told them you wanted to be alone. They understood, of course. They always did. You’d confided in them about what had happened with Finn, and while they’d tried to offer their support, you knew this was something you needed to process on your own. They couldn’t fix what was broken—not with Finn, and not with James.

The hum of the train as it prepared for departure filled the air, a low, steady rhythm that somehow felt comforting. You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, watching as more students climbed aboard . You envied the lightness in some of the students—their laughter, their certainty about who they were and where they stood with the people in their lives.

For you, everything felt like it was in limbo. The argument with Finn had left you reeling, unsure of what came next. And then there was James—the boy who had once been your closest friend, who still lingered in your thoughts even after months of strained silence.

You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment as the train gave a soft lurch, signaling the start of its journey. Home felt both too far away and far too close.

The train began to pick up speed, the platform slowly fading into the distance as the familiar rolling hills of the countryside came into view. You opened your eyes, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. The quiet of the compartment wrapped around you like a fragile cocoon, but your thoughts refused to settle.

James. His name echoed in your mind like a song you couldn’t quite forget. You hadn’t seen him at the station, though you’d looked for him instinctively. The habit was hard to break, no matter how strained things had become between the two of you.

You thought back to that day in Finn’s dorm, where everything had shifted. The weight of your confession to Finn, the raw honesty, and the pain that followed. But it wasn’t Finn’s face you pictured now—it was James’s. His messy hair, his lopsided grin, the way his hazel eyes lit up when he laughed. And the way those same eyes had avoided yours for months, the distance between you growing wider with each passing day.

You shook your head, as if the motion could clear your mind. It didn’t. Instead, it only made the ache in your chest deepen. The truth was, you missed him. More than you cared to admit, even to yourself.

It wasn’t just the friendship you missed, though that alone had been a loss. It was the way he’d always been there, the way he could make you laugh even on your worst days, the way he’d look at you like you were the most important person in the world. Somewhere along the way, things had changed, and you weren’t sure if you could ever get back to where you’d been.

The train rattled along the tracks, the countryside blurring past the window. You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if you could ward off the coldness that had settled deep in your chest. For a fleeting moment, you wished James were here, sitting across from you like he used to. You could almost hear his voice, teasing you about something silly, his laughter filling the space between you. But the compartment was empty, and the silence felt heavier because of it.

You leaned your forehead against the glass, the cool surface grounding you. Maybe this summer would give you the space you needed to figure things out. Maybe time apart would help you understand what you really wanted, and what you were willing to fight for. But as the train carried you further away from Hogwarts, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the answers you were looking for weren’t waiting for you at home—they were somewhere back there, tangled up in the boy you couldn’t stop thinking about.

You closed your eyes again, letting the rhythmic motion of the train lull you into a state of uneasy calm. The journey home had only just begun, but you already felt like you were carrying the weight of an entire year’s worth of emotions with you. And no matter how far the train took you, there was one thing you couldn’t seem to leave behind: the hope that somehow, someday, you and James could find your way back to each other.

A knock startled you awake. For a fleeting moment, you hoped it might be James, but when you opened the door, it was Diana. Despite your insistence on wanting no company, you never minded hers. You mustered a small smile as she entered.

“So,” Diana began, sitting across from you, “you wrote him a letter saying you still love him?”

“Yes,” you replied softly, avoiding her gaze.

“And he hasn’t talked to you?”

“Mhm.”

“And you called it off with Finn?”

“Well...” You cleared your throat awkwardly. “I still need to, but he despises me now. Once I get home, I’ll owl him. He’s... not exactly happy right now.”

“Because of the fight?” Diana’s tone grew sharper. “I know you lied to us. It wasn’t about your parents, was it? If you want to tell me the real reason, just say it.”

You hesitated, your throat tightening. “I... I ruined it with him. He got mad about James, and I snapped. I told him what I told James at the party. He didn’t even say anything; he just stood there, then left. We haven’t spoken since. I haven’t even told my parents yet—I don’t know if he’s told them.”

“Wow...” Diana’s expression was a mix of disbelief and frustration. “And James hasn’t said anything? You went through all that struggle, and he’s just blatantly ignoring you?”

“I know! But maybe I shouldn’t have told him how I felt again. Remember what happened at the party?”

Diana softened, reaching out to touch your hand. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I can’t imagine being in your situation.”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore,” you mumbled, though the lump in your throat betrayed your words.

“Of course it matters!” Diana said firmly. “Finn demanded the truth and then got mad when you gave it to him? That’s not fair!”

“Well, at least I won’t be engaged to him anymore.”

“When did he pro—” Diana started, but her words were cut off as Sirius suddenly barged into the compartment.

None of you had noticed him outside, and you had no idea how long he’d been listening.

“How much did you hear?” Diana demanded, her eyes narrowing.

“Enough to know that (Y/N) is no longer with that Finn bloke,” Sirius replied with a grin that was far too smug for the situation.

“Well, if you’d listened more, you’d also know—” Diana began again, but Sirius interrupted her too.

“(Y/N), have you even tried to speak to James about this?!”

“Had I had the opportunity, I would have,” you shot back, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “In fact, I went over—”

“You’ve had every opportunity!” Sirius exclaimed, cutting you off again. You stared at him, then at Diana, who looked just as shocked as you felt.

“Admit it,” Sirius said, his voice rising. “You’ve been smitten with James since the moment you two met! The clues have been everywhere! And don’t deny that you were completely beguiled by him at the party—even though you were dating some random bloke you barely knew!”

“That’s not—” you started, but Sirius plowed on, his words tumbling out in a rush.

“Then you drag James out of the party, demand to know how he feels about you, and give him all of thirty seconds to decide your entire future!”

“Well, that’s because—”

“And worst of all,” Sirius thundered, ignoring you, “you callously ignored the letter James wrote to you, where he told you he loved you!”

If confusion were a person, it would have been you at that moment. You exchanged a bewildered look with Diana.

“What letter?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Even Sirius looked thrown off. “What do you mean, ‘What letter?’”

“Sirius,” you said more firmly, standing now. “What letter?”

“The letter was the whole reason he stopped talking to you!” Sirius snapped. “He put one in your luggage—slipped it into a pocket—and then left another on your desk yesterday!”

You blinked, your mind racing. “Which pocket? I don’t use most of them, and I left everything on my desk at Hogwarts—it was just extra parchment. Why didn’t he just tell me?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Sirius said with a shrug. “But what are you waiting for? Go find James! He’s crying like a bloody baby—that’s the only reason I came to find you. Took me five minutes to track you down!”

You nodded quickly and scrambled to your feet, your heart pounding like a drum. You knew exactly where James would be. After sharing the same train compartment for seven years, you could find it blindfolded, even in your sleep.

Without hesitation, you hurried down the train, determination and nerves tangling in your chest like vines. Your footsteps echoed faintly against the narrow corridor, your mind racing ahead.

Then you froze.

James’ laugh drifted through the crack in the door—warm, familiar, and effortless. It was the kind of laugh that made the world tilt, like gravity had shifted just enough to pull you toward him. The sound wrapped around you, igniting a fire in your chest and a tremor in your hands.

You pressed a shaky palm against the cool surface of the compartment door, drawing in a deep breath.

This is it.

With a steadying exhale, you slid the door open. The soft creak barely registered over the hammering in your ears.

“James,” you began, your voice trembling but determined. “Can we… could we talk? Please. If that’s okay with you?”

James froze mid-laugh, his body stilling like a snapshot in time. His gaze locked onto yours, wide-eyed and searching, as if trying to confirm you were real. Slowly, he nodded, his brow creasing in quiet confusion, curiosity flickering behind his eyes.

You stepped inside and let the door click softly shut behind you, the faint sound reverberating in the small, enclosed space. Here, at the back of the train, there were no prying eyes, no curious ears—just the two of you and the fragile weight of the moment.

For a heartbeat, neither of you spoke. The air between you felt electric, thick with unspoken words and barely restrained emotion. James watched you carefully, his gaze tracing your face as if committing every detail to memory.

Your chest tightened, the words caught like a stone in your throat. You’d waited too long, carried this too far. But you couldn’t falter now.

Swallowing the lump of fear, you took a step closer, and then another, until the space between you vanished completely.

You weren’t sure who moved first—if it was him, or you, or maybe both of you at once—but the distance dissolved like it had never been there at all. His hands found your waist as yours slid up to cup his face, and then his lips were on yours. The world outside the compartment disappeared in a rush, the hum of the train fading into nothingness.

It wasn’t frantic or hurried. It was soft, almost tentative at first, like neither of you could quite believe this was real. But then, the kiss deepened, and with it came a flood of emotions—relief, longing, and something you didn’t dare name just yet.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. James’ cheeks were flushed, and his glasses were slightly askew. His lips curved into the smallest, shyest smile you’d ever seen from him. It was a look you wanted to commit to memory.

But the weight of why you were here—the reason you’d sought him out—pressed against your chest, demanding to be spoken to.

You took a deep breath, looking James in the eye as you began. “Sirius told me about the letters. The one in my luggage, the one on my desk… I didn’t even know they existed. I never read them.”

James blinked, his expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. “You… you never read them?” he repeated, his voice breaking slightly.

You shook your head, your chest tightening as you stepped closer to him. “No. I only found out about them because Sirius barged into my compartment and told me everything. He said you hid one in my luggage, and the other was on my desk, buried under a pile of parchment I never cleaned up. James, I had no idea.”

James ran a hand through his hair, his face clouding with frustration and regret. “Merlin,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “All this time, I thought you knew. I thought you read them and just… ignored me.”

“Why would I ignore you?” you asked, your voice trembling. “James, I didn’t know because I didn’t even think to look. And the letter in my bag—I didn’t even realize there was a hidden pocket until Sirius told me.”

James stared at you, his lips parting as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Finally, he managed, “I wrote them because I didn’t know how else to tell you how I felt. I thought if I put it on paper, it’d be easier to say everything I couldn’t say to your face.”

“James, I didn’t read them, but you need to know something,” you said, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. “I wrote to you too. I wrote you a letter and left it on your bed with Buddy.”

His expression shifted, his brows knitting together in a mix of guilt and realization. “The letter with Buddy,” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “I… I tore it up.”

The weight of his words hung in the air, and your heart sank. “You… tore it up?” you asked softly, your voice breaking.

James nodded, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “I was angry,” he admitted, his tone thick with regret. “I thought you’d moved on, that you didn’t care anymore. I saw Buddy, and I just… I lost it. And when I saw you’d written me a letter instead of talking to me in person—well, I just… I thought you were giving him back to me because you didn’t need him anymore. I thought you were telling me that you were done with me, that you’d let go. So, I tore it up without even reading it.”

You stared at him, your heart heavy with the weight of the misunderstanding. “James, I wasn’t telling you that I was done. I… I was just too scared to face you. After what happened at the party… when you told me to marry Finn… I didn’t think I could bear hearing you reject me again. I didn’t think I could face you after that.”

James' face softened, his brows furrowing with understanding. “I never meant for you to feel that way. I thought I was doing the right thing, telling you to marry Finn, but it wasn’t because I didn’t care. I was trying to push you away, trying to convince myself that it was better if you were happy with him. I couldn’t bear to see you hurting, but instead, I just made it worse.”

You shook your head, your voice catching. “I didn’t think you wanted me, James. You told me to marry Finn, and you didn’t even give me a chance to tell you how I felt. I thought if I wrote the letter, maybe that was my chance to say what I couldn’t say face-to-face.”

James’ breath hitched, and he stepped toward you. “I was wrong. I should have listened to you, should have seen that I was the one hurting you. I was so confused. I didn’t want to lose you, but I didn’t know how to tell you that I felt the same.”

“James, that letter wasn’t about moving on. It was about you. I told you everything—how I felt, how I couldn’t be with Finn because my heart wasn’t his to have. It was yours. It’s always been yours.”

James’ breath caught in his throat as realization washed over him. “You… you said that?”

You nodded, tears brimming in your eyes. “I told you that I loved you. That I’ve always loved you, no matter how much I tried to deny it. And I gave you Buddy because I didn’t think I deserved to keep him anymore.”

James’ face crumpled, and he took a shaky step toward you. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “For tearing up your letter, for hiding behind mine, for not saying what I needed to say.”

You shook your head, tears spilling down your cheeks. “We both made mistakes, James. But I’m here now. And I’m telling you everything because I don’t want to waste another second pretending I don’t care.”

James reached for you, his hands cupping your face as he leaned in. “I love you,” he said, his voice raw and unguarded. “I’ve loved you for so long, and I’ve been such an idiot for not saying it sooner.”

You let out a shaky laugh, relief washing over you like a tide. “Well, you’re saying it now. That’s all that matters.”

He kissed you then, the world falling away as the weight of years of miscommunication and doubt finally lifted. His lips were warm and familiar, and when he pulled back, both of you were breathless and flushed.

“We’re terrible at this,” James said with a small, rueful laugh, his hands still resting on your cheeks.

“We really are,” you agreed, smiling through your tears. “But we’ve got time to figure it out.”

James grinned, his eyes shining with hope. “Together?”

“Together,” you confirmed, your voice steady and sure.

James kissed you again, slow and tender, as if he was savoring the moment. The warmth of his lips, the familiarity of his touch—it was everything you had wanted, everything you had longed for but been too afraid to claim.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, breath shaky, both of you flushed from the rush of emotions. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of everything that had been left unsaid finally settling between you in a peaceful, unspoken understanding.

“I don’t know how we got here,” James said softly, his voice hushed, as though he was still trying to piece everything together in his mind. “We both made so many mistakes, (Y/N). I hurt you, and I never meant to. I’ve been a coward, hiding behind my letters, my words... not telling you the truth when it mattered.”

You shook your head, gently cupping his face in your hands. “James, we both let fear dictate everything. We were both too scared to face the truth. But we're here now, right? That’s all that matters. We don’t have to figure it all out right this moment. We just have to start somewhere.”

James looked into your eyes, his gaze intense, as if he was memorizing every detail, afraid that if he blinked, the moment might slip away. “I love you, (Y/N),” he said again, this time with complete certainty. “I’ve always loved you.”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you laughed softly, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “I love you too, James. I always have. I was just too afraid to believe it.”

James smiled, a real, unguarded smile, the kind that made his entire face light up. “So... do we get to be happy now?” he asked, his voice filled with hope.

You nodded, the warmth of his hands still holding your face. “Yes,” you whispered. “We get to be happy. Together.”

For a long time, neither of you moved, just stood there in the quiet, the weight of everything finally lifting, as if all the confusion and misunderstandings had just melted away.

James let out a soft laugh, breaking the stillness. “I’m not perfect, (Y/N),” he said, his thumb gently brushing the tear on your cheek. “But if you’ll have me, I’m willing to try.”

You smiled through your tears, your heart full to bursting. “I think we both need to try, James. And we will. Together.”

He kissed you one last time, and this time, it wasn’t hurried or filled with desperation. It was a kiss that held all the promises of a new beginning. The kind of kiss that said, we’ve found our way back to each other.

And when you pulled away, you both stood there, smiling through the tangled mess of emotions that had, somehow, become beautiful in their own way.

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[unconventional-lawnchair]

King's Gambit

Mattheo Riddle x Potter!Reader

Summary: You go to a Ministry gala with your family, meeting and dancing with Mattheo Riddle, who is just looking to cause some trouble,

WC: 4.5k

CW: Potters Live Au, reader is a bit naive, uhm... a bit of an over protective family moment. Possible part one idk yet

The grandeur of the Ministry of Magic was on full display as you crossed the threshold of the ballroom with your parents. You were instantly struck by the magic of the scene before you. The high, enchanted ceiling shimmered with starlight, mimicking the night sky, while hundreds of floating candles illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow. The walls were draped with deep emerald and gold silks that shimmered as if enchanted, and charmed violins played a soft, elegant waltz in the background.

Couples were already spinning gracefully on the polished marble floor, their robes a dazzling array of colors. The scent of fresh roses and honeyed champagne filled the air, mingling with the low hum of conversations and laughter. It was all so intoxicatingly beautiful, the kind of scene you had only read about in fairytales.

James muttered beside you, his voice low as he leaned towards Lily’s ears. “All this extravagance, and they still haven’t managed to give half my team a decent raise in years.”

Lily gave him a pointed look, tugging slightly at his lapel to straighten it. “James,” She huffed softly, though there was no real bite to her tone. “Play nice tonight. It’s not the time to start a crusade. I did not marry a martyr.”

Her words earned a small chuckle- even a smile from him, and he shook his head with a quiet hum. “I'll play nice.” His hazel eyes softening as they met hers.

“It's all I ask.” Lily smiled with a teasing lift of her brow. For a moment, the two of them seemed lost in their own world, the years of love and trust between them clear in their shared gaze.

But the moment was short-lived. A procession of wizards and witches began to approach, eager to greet the famous Potters- the main reason your father hated these events. Lily straightened and fixed a pleasant smile on her face, while James sighed and reluctantly did the same, running his thumb along the small of your mother’s back.

You stood quietly beside your parents, watching as they navigated the growing crowd of well-dressed witches and wizards with a practiced ease you could only admire. As handshakes and polite greetings were exchanged, you couldn’t help but let your thoughts wander to them.

Your parents were obsessed with one another- there was no other word for it. The way your father leaned ever so slightly toward your mother, as if her presence grounded him in a room he clearly loathed. The way your mother’s smile lit up her face, genuine and kind, even as she endured endless small talk with people you both knew she’d rather avoid. It was more than impressive; it was love, the kind of love you’d always dreamed of.

You stole a glance at Harry beside you. He rolled his eyes when yet another Ministry official complimented your family, calling your parents “an inspiration to the wizarding world.”

“An inspiration, huh?” Harry muttered under his breath, leaning toward you. “Guess that makes us company.”

You bit back a laugh, your lips twitching as you murmured back, “Company? Speak for yourself, I'm plenty charming.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at you. “Is that so? I think you're far too much of a hopeless romantic for that. Please note the hopeless.”

Your mouth opened in mock offense, but before you could retort, your mother’s voice cut in smoothly.

“Children, behave,” Her tone was warm but firm as her eyes flicked between the two of you. She didn’t miss the smirk on James’s face, though. He always loved your playful banter, even if Lily pretended not to. As if you four hadn't come up with fifteen new flavors of insults for the obsequious little bootlickers on the ride over.

“Yes, Mum,” You and Harry chimed in unison, barely suppressing your laughter.

Despite the formality of the evening, moments like these reminded you that no matter how many people admired your family from afar, it was the love and humor between you all that made it so special. It wasn’t just about being “The Potters,” the golden family everyone seemed to look up to. It was about being your family- perfectly imperfect, brimming with laughter and love.

Still, as the line of greetings seemed endless, you couldn’t help but steal glances around the room, your attention drifting.

That’s when you saw him.

He was standing near the edge of the ballroom, casually leaning against one of the ornately carved marble pillars. His dark curls framed his sharp features, and the flickering candlelight seemed to make his stormy brown eyes gleam. Unlike most of the wizards here, dressed in stiff, perfectly pressed robes, he had an air of effortless rebellion. His tie was slightly loosened- okay, no it was definally falling off-, his robes were tailored but not overly formal, as if to say he couldn’t be bothered to fully conform to the expectations of the evening.

You couldn’t help but stare. He was impossible to ignore. Taller than you, but not too tall- just enough to crane your neck but not enough to make you ache from it- hair perfectly imperfect, as if he had charmed it that way, to capture the fractures of light that defined it’s mockery of shape. He looked entirely out of place among the glittering gowns and polished smiles, and yet, he carried himself with the confidence of someone who owned the room. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, as though he knew exactly the effect he had on the people around him.

Merlin, a smirk to match his eyes, eyes to match his hair, hair to frame his neck- like his features were crafted just for him. Carved from marble and stone with crackles of imperfections you'd have to dream up later. Even the crooked tug of his lips seemed intentional to tug at everyone of your poor heart strings.

There was a brilliant symphony in your chest that resonated in your stomach.

He was speaking to Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, who stood rigid and composed as always, their platinum blonde hair shining in the golden light. Draco Malfoy stood beside them, his usual smug expression in place, though his posture was noticeably more subdued in the presence of the dark-haired boy.

“Who’s that?” You asked quietly, leaning toward Harry. Doing your best not to betray your throbbing heart.

He followed your gaze, and his expression soured immediately. “Mattheo Riddle,” He muttered. “Lucius’s nephew. Have you not seen him at school?”

Your stomach turned at the name. Riddle. As in that Riddle. You should have looked away right then, should have reminded yourself who he was and what his family represented. But something about him kept your gaze locked. He turned his head slightly, and for one brief, heart-stopping moment, his eyes met yours.

It was as if he could see straight through you. His smirk deepened, as though he were amused by the fact that you’d been caught staring. Slowly, deliberately, he inclined his head in a faint, mocking gesture of acknowledgment.

You felt your cheeks flush, and you quickly looked away, pretending to focus on a nearby couple twirling across the dance floor. But you couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes lingering on you, nor the strange pull in your chest that urged you to look back.

“Don’t even think about it,” Harry said sharply, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. “He’s trouble. Worse than Malfoy. Worse than Sirius.”

You shrugged, forcing a nonchalant tone. “I wasn’t thinking anything.”

Harry narrowed his eyes. “Good. Because if Mum and Dad catch you looking at him, they’ll lose their minds. And so will I.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t respond, your thoughts already wandering back to the boy across the room. For all of Harry’s warnings, you couldn’t deny the strange pull you felt. There was something about Mattheo Riddle that demanded attention, something dangerous and intriguing- and you weren’t sure if you wanted to run away from it or dive straight in.

No, you knew what you wanted.

But you knew that you shouldnt.

Your family exchanged more greetings, handshakes, and forced smiles, but you were distant, your thoughts circling the boy whose smirk had left an imprint on your mind. It wasn’t just his confidence or his looks- it was the way he seemed to take up space without effort, as though the world around him was merely a stage set for his amusement. Oh, and is he really as bad as your uncle?

Scratch that, considering their shared blood you didn't want to know.

Then, as if sensing your turmoil, he moved. Oh, you had been staring. Slowly, deliberately, Mattheo stepped away from the Malfoys, his movements unhurried but purposeful, like a predator approaching its prey. You felt a shiver run down your spine, though whether it was fear or anticipation, you couldn’t quite tell.

"He's walking over here," Harry muttered beside you, his tone dripping with irritation.

"Relax," You whispered, though your heart was racing.

"Relax? With him here? I don't think so."

But you barely heard your brother. Your attention was fixed on Mattheo as he stopped just a few paces away, his brown eyes meeting yours again, this time with a look of pure challenge.

"Potter," He said smoothly, nodding first to Harry before letting his gaze slide to you. His voice was low, rich, and laced with just enough amusement to make your cheeks warm. "I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been standing here with..." He paused and took an exaggerated swoop of his eyes across the crowd. The one slowly growing to stare at him. And you. "... no one taking you to the dance floor. It's a right shame, really."

Harry bristled beside you, his jaw tightening. "Maybe because we’ve been busy avoiding people like you."

Mattheo’s smirk widened as if Harry’s hostility only entertained him. Ignoring your brother, he extended a hand toward you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Care to join me for a dance? It seems a waste for someone like you to stay off to the side all night.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. You could feel Harry tense beside you, his protest hanging in the air, unspoken but palpable. You knew what this was- a game. A deliberate move to provoke Harry, your parents, and everyone else in the room who cared about the politics of family names and allegiances.

But as you looked at Mattheo, you couldn’t deny the spark of temptation. The air around him seemed to hum with electricity, pulling you in despite the warning bells ringing loudly in your mind.

The implications were crystal clear: a single dance with him would be enough to set tongues wagging for weeks. It would stir unrest, fuel speculation, and undoubtedly ruffle the feathers of both your family and the Malfoys. James Potter’s daughter, sharing a dance with Voldemort’s son? It was practically a scandal waiting to happen.

For a fleeting moment, you thought about the optics, about how this would play into the political games you despised so much. Mattheo, no doubt, was using you to create chaos, and you would be giving him exactly what he wanted if you accepted.

But then… you caught his eyes again, stormy and confident, daring you to say yes. They held none of the coldness or cruelty you expected- just a flicker of intrigue and something else you couldn’t quite place but you were dying to know. There was an electricity to his presence that left you breathless, like he was daring you to step into the unknown with him.

Merlin, those eyes. The longer you stared, the more you realized you cared far less about what people thought or the scandal it might cause. Politics were meaningless to you, but he- he felt dangerous, exhilarating, and impossible to ignore. What was one more Potter scandal? Merlin bless your parents.

“I-” You began, your voice catching slightly.

Harry tensed beside you, muttering low, “Don’t you dare-”

You turned your head, offering your brother a small, apologetic smile before slipping your hand into Mattheo’s. His fingers curled around yours, warm and firm, and you swore you caught the flicker of something softer in his smirk- oh- satisfaction, yes.

“Don’t wait up, Harry,” You muttered lightly, though your heart was hammering in your chest.

Mattheo’s smirk grew as he led you onto the dance floor, every movement deliberate and self-assured. The whispers started almost immediately, a ripple of murmurs spreading across the room as heads turned to watch. You didn’t care. All you could focus on was the warmth of his hand in yours and the way his gaze seemed to darken with every step.

“Brave choice,” Mattheo murmured as he pulled you into position, his voice low and velvety. “Or foolish. I haven’t decided yet.”

You raised an eyebrow, your lips curling into a small, teasing smile. “Bravery and foolishness are often the same thing, don’t you think?”

His eyes sparkled with amusement as he placed a hand lightly on your waist, drawing you closer. “Perhaps. Though I doubt anyone’s ever called you foolish before.”

“Maybe they should,” You quipped, the playful edge to your voice masking the way your heart raced.

He chuckled softly, a low, rich sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “Not tonight. Tonight, you’re the most captivating person in this room.”

You blinked away the sudden shock that rocked your shoulders. Oh, he's good. “You have a quick tongue. Familiar with making woman's hearts flutter or is that a side effect, Riddle?”

Mattheo's smirk deepened, his hand tightening just slightly on your waist as he leaned in, his lips brushing close enough to your ear that his breath tickled your skin. “I’d say it’s a bit of both, Potter,” he murmured, his voice rich and low, laced with amusement. “Though I’m surprised you’d think I need to try.”

Your cheeks burned, and you hated how easily he could make your heart race with just a few words. You arched an eyebrow, determined not to let him see the effect he had on you. “Confident, aren’t you? That arrogance must be exhausting.”

“Not at all,” He said smoothly, twirling you expertly as the music swelled around you. “Confidence comes naturally when you’re good at what you do.”

“And what exactly are you good at, Riddle? Charming unsuspecting girls into regrettable decisions?” Your words were sharp, but your tone was teasing, and you couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through you as his eyes flickered with something darker.

He grinned, his stormy gaze locking onto yours as he pulled you just a fraction closer. “Regrettable? Now, that’s a strong word. But tell me, do you regret this, Potter?”

You opened your mouth to reply, but the words caught in your throat as he dipped you suddenly, the world tilting for a brief, breathless moment. When he pulled you back up, his face was so close to yours that you could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, could feel the warmth radiating off him. He didn’t look away, didn’t falter, as if daring you to answer honestly.

Your lips twitched into a small smile, and you tilted your head, meeting his gaze with a boldness you didn’t quite feel. “I’ll let you know when the dance is over.”

Mattheo laughed softly, a low, rich sound that sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. He guided you into another turn, his movements as smooth and calculated as his words. When you settled back into the rhythm of the dance, he let his gaze drop briefly to the necklace resting against your collarbone.

“Moonstone,” he remarked, his tone casual but laced with curiosity. “That’s what Muggles call it, isn’t it?”

You blinked, slightly surprised by his observation. His eyes flicked back to yours, glinting with a quiet amusement as though he enjoyed catching you off guard.

“It is,” you replied, your fingers brushing the pendant absentmindedly. “Why? You have a sudden interest in jewelry, Riddle?”

He tilted his head, his smirk returning as if he knew something you didn’t. “Not sudden, no,” he said, his voice smooth. “But moonstone is… interesting. It’s traditionally given as a gift for younger girls, is it not? Or perhaps you’re just sentimental?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, though there was no real heat behind it. “I got it when I was younger,” you admitted, lifting your chin slightly. “My mum gave it to me. And what about you, Riddle? How does someone like you know so much about jewelry?”

Mattheo’s smirk deepened, his hand tightening slightly on your waist as he leaned in. “Let’s just say I have a talent for noticing things most people overlook,” he murmured, his eyes dropping to the pendant once more before flicking back to yours. “Though I’ll admit, it looks best on you tonight of all nights. I am perhaps bias.”

Your cheeks warmed, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. Instead, you raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into a teasing smile. “And here I thought you only noticed trouble, Riddle. Didn’t expect you to have an eye for fashion.”

He laughed again, the sound light and unrestrained. “I’m full of surprises, Potter,” he said, his voice dropping just slightly. “Though if you’d like, I can stop noticing. I doubt anyone else would’ve caught the moonstone detail.”

You shook your head, amused despite yourself. “You’re an enigma, Riddle.”

“As I've been told.” He leaned closer with a wink that sent a ripple of hissing through the onlookers you had forgotten about.

The music drew to a close, and Mattheo slowed the dance, his hand still resting lightly at your waist. The smirk on his lips never wavered as he stepped back, his stormy gaze holding yours for a moment that felt much too long. Then, without releasing your hand, he turned toward where your parents stood, his expression shifting into one of perfect, calculated poise.

Your heart sank as realization dawned. “Mattheo,” you hissed under your breath, but he merely cast you a sideways glance, one brow quirked in amused defiance.

He led you toward James and Lily with deliberate grace, his every movement purposeful and commanding. The whispers in the room seemed to grow louder as the crowd parted for him, all eyes fixed on the Riddle boy escorting the daughter of James Potter across the polished ballroom floor.

James, who had been watching the dance unfold with growing tension, straightened immediately as the two of you approached. His hazel eyes flicked to where Mattheo’s hand still clasped yours, his expression darkening. Lily, by his side, wore a polite but cautious smile, though her gaze was sharp and assessing.

When you reached them, Mattheo finally released your hand but bowed his head slightly in a gesture of formal respect. “Mr. and Mrs. Potter,” he began smoothly, his voice rich and confident, “thank you for the honor of allowing me a dance with your daughter. It was, without question, the highlight of my evening.”

James’s jaw tightened visibly, his posture stiffening, but before he could respond, Mattheo turned his attention to you. His eyes softened just enough to make your breath hitch as he lifted your hand once more, his grip gentle but firm.

“And to you,” he said, his tone dropping to something more intimate, “thank you for indulging me, Miss Potter. You were exquisite.”

Before you could react, he bent down and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, lingering just long enough to send your heart into a wild frenzy. The warmth of his lips against your skin and the way his eyes held yours as he straightened left you speechless- and painfully aware of the sharp intake of breath from your father.

Mattheo’s smirk returned, subtle but unmistakable, as he inclined his head once more toward James and Lily. “Enjoy the rest of your evening,” he said smoothly, stepping back with practiced elegance. “I look forward to seeing you all again.”

With that, he turned and strode away, his movements calm and self-assured as if he hadn’t just ignited a firestorm of whispers and tension. The room seemed to buzz in his wake, but you could barely hear it over the pounding of your heart.

James cleared his throat, breaking the silence, though his tone came sharp and restrained. “Care to explain what that was?” His hazel eyes flicked to you, his voice low enough not to attract attention, but every word carried the weight of his disapproval.

You hesitated, glancing at Lily, hoping for support. She was watching you carefully, her expression softer than James’s but no less concerned. Harry, on the other hand, stood beside her with his arms crossed, his face set in a scowl that mirrored your father’s.

“It was just a dance,” You placated, trying to sound calm, though your pulse was still racing. “He asked. I said yes. That’s it. If I had said no, you know what the tabloids would say by morning.”

James’s jaw clenched visibly, his hazel eyes darkening as he processed your words. “You think this is about the tabloids?” He hissed, his voice low but taut with tension. “I don’t give a damn about the papers. This is about him. About what he represents and the fact that he knows exactly how to manipulate situations like this.”

“He’s right,” Harry interjected sharply, his arms still crossed as he glared at you. “Mattheo Riddle doesn’t do anything without a reason. You think he asked you to dance just because he wanted to? He’s playing a game, and you’re letting him win.”

You squared your shoulders, refusing to shrink under their disapproval. “I didn’t let him win anything. I made a choice, and I handled myself perfectly fine. Do you have any idea what it would’ve looked like if I turned him down in front of everyone? Half the room would’ve spun it as a Potter snubbing a diplomatic gesture, and the other half would’ve accused us of holding old grudges.”

James’s lips pressed into a thin line, but Lily placed a calming hand on his arm before he could respond. “She’s not wrong,” she said softly, though her expression remained serious. “If she’d refused, it would’ve caused a scene, and not the kind we could easily recover from. But that doesn’t mean we can ignore what just happened.”

You turned to her, your voice quieter now. “I know who he is. I know what his name means. But for Merlin’s sake, it was a dance. That’s all.”

James exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as if trying to rein in his frustration. “It wasn’t just a dance,” he muttered, his gaze flicking toward where Mattheo had disappeared into the crowd. “Not to him. Not to anyone who saw it.”

Lily’s eyes softened as she looked at you. “Your father’s right. Whatever Mattheo’s intentions are, they’re not simple. He’s too calculated for that.”

“Or maybe,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended, “he’s not as much of a villain as everyone thinks he is.”

Harry let out a derisive snort. “You can’t be serious.”

You turned to him, your jaw tightening. “I didn’t say he was a saint, Harry. I’m just saying maybe he’s not the monster you’re all making him out to be.”

James stepped closer, his voice quieter but no less intense. “You don’t know him, and you don’t know what he’s capable of. People like him don’t do anything without a reason, and whatever his reason was tonight, it wasn’t good.”

The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, and for a moment, you felt a flicker of doubt. But then you remembered the way Mattheo had looked at you- not with malice or cruelty, but with a curiosity that had felt startlingly genuine.

“I can handle it,” you said firmly, meeting your father’s gaze. “I’m not a child, Dad. I know what I’m doing.”

James stared at you for a long moment, his expression a mix of frustration, concern.

Then, James’s hard gaze softened slightly as your words hung in the air, the tension between you crackling like static. He ran a hand through his unruly hair again, a telltale sign of his inner turmoil. For all his frustration, for all his protective instincts screaming at him to put a stop to whatever this was, he couldn’t stay angry with you for long. He never could.

He let out a slow, resigned breath, the stern lines of his face easing just enough to remind you of the man who had always been your safe haven. “You’re not a child,” he admitted finally, though the words seemed to cost him. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry about you. It’s my job, whether you like it or not.”

You blinked, surprised by the shift in his tone. His hazel eyes met yours, and though they still carried a flicker of disapproval, there was something else there now- something softer, more vulnerable. “You’re my daughter,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m always going to want to protect you. Even if that means protecting you from yourself.”

Lily stepped in then, her hand resting gently on James’s arm as she gave you a small, understanding smile. “Your father’s trying, love,” she said softly. “He just… doesn’t want to see you hurt. Neither of us do.”

Harry, however, was less inclined to soften. “You’re making a mistake,” he muttered, his arms still crossed tightly. “And when it backfires, don’t come running to me.”

Lily shot him a sharp look, her tone firm but even. “Harry.”

He huffed but said nothing more, his scowl firmly in place.

James exhaled again, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look,” he said, his tone gentler now, “if you’re so sure you can handle this… fine. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But I swear to Merlin, if he so much as looks at you again- ”

“Dad,” you interrupted, a small smile tugging at your lips despite everything. “I can handle it. I promise.”

He studied you for a long moment, his hazel eyes searching yours for something- reassurance, perhaps, or a sign that he could need to fight this battle for you- like he always had. Eventually, he nodded, though it was clear he wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Alright,” he said quietly. “But just… be careful. Please.”

Lily squeezed his arm, her own expression a mix of concern and quiet pride. “We trust you,” she said softly, her green eyes meeting yours. “Just… don’t give us a reason to regret it, okay?”

You nodded, the tension in your chest easing slightly at her words. “I won’t.”

James muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like we’ll see, but he didn’t press the matter further. Instead, he stepped back, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction as he gave you a weary but affectionate look.

“Go on,” he said, his voice tinged with reluctant humor. “Enjoy the rest of the ball. Just… maybe avoid any more dances with Riddle.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at that, the sound lightening the mood just enough to ease some of the lingering tension. “I’ll do my best.”

As you turned to rejoin the crowd, you felt a surge of gratitude for your family- for their love, their concern, and even their overprotectiveness. They didn’t always make things easy, but you knew their hearts were always in the right place.

Even if Harry could be a prat about it.

[little-riddles]

hope | one

pairing: sirius black x female!potter!reader word count: 3.8k warnings: mentions of illness, references of abuse

past | masterlist | next

the night was painted with shadows, the moon casting a silvery glow over the walls of the potter house. a gentle breeze whispered through the window, carrying with it the sounds of chatter in the streets below. curled up in the bay window sat a y/h/c girl with forest-green eyes who stared longingly at the four boys playing in the large expanse of grass behind their house. she longed to be allowed to play with the boys, to know the joy of having friends that weren't her brother or their pet cat.

"y/n potter, you know you can't have the windows open!" euphemia potter shouted as she rushed to shut the open window and wrap yet another blanket around the frail girl.

"mama, i'm fine." y/n struggled out, her voice only allowing her to speak at a mere whisper.

"you're freezing, y/n." euphemia pulled her daughter into her arms, feeling the cold radiating through the many layers of blankets covering her. "you're never going to get better if you keep trying to make yourself more sick."

"but i just wanna go outside and play with the boys for a bit. five minutes, that's all i want." y/n tried to beg her mother, already feeling exhausted from just the movement of walking back to sit on her bed.

"you can play with the boys if they come back inside before they leave. i can't have you outside in that cold. i'm sorry, darling." euphemia pressed a kiss to her daughter's temple, before walking back out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

y/n sighed falling back into her duvet. she couldn't understand why no one would allow her to have fun with her brother's friends as well. why she's locked away in her room whenever they come over during the winter holiday? her mother said it was for her own good and health, but she just felt like a freak in her mother's eyes. like she was something her parents were ashamed of.

for as long as she could remember, y/n potter had been sick. she has spent longer in st. mungo's than she has in her own home. her parents had spent years trying to find answers to her mysterious illness, going as far as travelling over to the americas to visit a well-known healer who was said to have the answers to her illness. but as with all of their other endeavors, they came up empty-handed and with even more questions than answers.

her health had become so deteriorated in the past year that she had to forgo attending hogwarts at the same time as her twin brother, james. her parents had hired a local wizard tutor to home-school her until she would be able to attend hogwarts herself, something that seemed less and less likely the further into winter y/n got.

"y/n! the boys are going in five minutes if you wanna come and meet them!" james' voice carried from the front room into her bedroom, alerting her to the appearance of the boys from the garden.

y/n could hear her mother berating her brother for shouting in the house and to go and help his sister down from her room if she was going to meet his friends. she pulled herself out of the bed, making her way over the door with the blankets her mother had wrapped around her cradling her.

"y/n/n, come on." james burst through her door, grabbing her thin wrist in his arms and already making his way down the hallway. "you're going to love them."

"jamie, jamie slow down. i can't walk that fast." y/n rasped out, her brother coming to a complete halt as he realised, in his excitement, that he'd completely forgotten how ill his sister had gotten in the short four months he was away.

"oh, y/n/n. i'm so sorry. i was just so excited for you to meet them that i completely forgot." james pulled his sister in for a hug, continuing their walk down the stairs but at a much-reduced speed. "i've told them so much about you, you have nothing to worry about."

"exactly how much?" y/n looked at her brother in suspicion, knowing exactly what stories he would love to share with his friends.

"just the good things. mostly." james winked, pushing the door to the living room open to reveal their parents talking to the three small boys. "guys, this is my sister, y/n."

"it's nice to meet you." y/n tried to speak at her top volume, already feeling her throat drying up and in pain from the few words spoken.

"i'm remus lupin, nice to meet you." the sandy-haired boy with scars across his arms and legs smiled as he looked anywhere but her eyes.

"nice to meet you, remus." y/n smiled back, sitting down between her parents who both wrapped yet another blanket that was thrown over the back of the sofa.

"i'm p-peter pett-tigrew." the smallest of the three bowed his head slightly as he greeted the girl.

"and i'm sirius black." the black-haired boy sitting on the armrest of the sofa said with a charming smirk. "what's with all the blankets?"

"sirius!" remus smacked the boy around the head. "you can't just ask questions like that."

"it's okay, remus." y/n smiled, reassuring the boys. "i'm sick. have been for as long as i can remember and the cold makes me much worse than i already am. we've tried everything but have no answers to how I can get better."

"i'm sorry." sirius sounded genuinely sincere as he bowed his head slightly.

"have you tried muggle doctors?" remus asked in a light voice, earning silence as the purebloods of the room looked at him puzzled.

"why in merlin's name would we go to muggles for help?" fleamont asked in disbelief.

"it sounds like a muggle disease that my grandmother had before she died." remus fiddles with his hands. "they can give y/n a medicine that will help heal her back up to full health."

"how would we be able to get this medicine?" euphemia placed a calming hand on her husband's arm.

"my mum can help you get in contact with a doctor who can help heal y/n." remus smiled, looking down at the watch as he noticed it was past his curfew already.

"oh, would you look at the time."fleamont announced as he stood to face the grandfather clock. "well, best be off boys. don't want to be on the end of another howler from your mothers."

the boys smirked to themselves, remembering the howler that was opened during dinner one evening after they were caught messing with the nifflers in the garden. one of them had to be magically lifted out of the tree that the boys had scared it into, a feat that y/n had watched sadly from the window, having forged a strong bond with the runt of the niffler's litter over her time kept at home.

"thank you for having us, mrs potter, mr potter." remus bowed his head slightly as he pulled his jacket out from behind the sofa. "i hope we will be able to come back during the spring break as well?"

"of course, my dears. you're welcome here anytime. even you, sirius." mr Potter smiled knowingly at the raven-haired boy, having attended hogwarts at the same time as some of his family and knowing the legacy his family had left behind for him.

"thank you, sir." sirius seemed shy for the first time in the short while that y/n had met him, clearly not used to such generosity. his reaction made the girl wonder what terrible upbringing could've caused such reactions to such a small gesture.

y/n's eyes wandered to the small, meek boy who was still trapped within the many cushions of the red sofa. his hands were held close to his chest as though he was scared to touch anything around him. His thin, mousy hair clung to his scalp, and his anxious, darting eyes seemed to constantly search for an escape route.  his lips were turned down in a deep frown, spreading all the way up to his brows, creating a crease down the centre of his forehead.

y/n couldn't help but feel the unease that seemed to radiate from him, as an aura of vulnerability marked him apart from the other boys, who each exuded a sort of confidence in the few interactions she had observed from them.

"are you okay, peter?" y/n asked in a hushed tone, bringing the movement of the other boys to a halt.

"you alright, pete?" james approached his friend, worried by the scared look that grew rapidly on his friend's face as he grew nearer.

"i may have broken a mug." peter mumbled, pulling the shards from the pocket of his coat he had yet to take off since he arrived many hours before.

"oh, that's fine, my dear. we have tons of them." euphemia waved her hands, snapping her fingers and calling for one of the house elves. "ribly! come here this instant!"

y/n had always hated how her parents treated the house elves that served them, often overhearing and occasionally witnessing the 'punishments' they would endure for the smallest of mistakes.

ribly appeared in the living room with a crack, already hurrying over to peter with a broom to collect any shards that had escaped his grasp.

"ribly will clean it up, mr peter. ribly will fix it, ms potter." the small house-elf was quick to sweep up the few remains on the ground, only stumbling a few times in her haste, before disapparating out of the room as quickly as she had entered it.

"don't mind her. she likes to be efficient." mr potter chuckled to himself, brushing off the looks each of the children were giving him and his wife. "well, why don't you all go through the fireplace? will be much easier than taking the muggle route home. especially for you, sirius."

y/n watched as sirius gulped at the thought of home, cementing in her mind that he didn't have a happy home outside of Hogwarts.

"again, thank you for having us. it was nice to meet you, y/n. i do hope to see you again." remus smiled timidly once more, hugging james briefly before he walked into the fireplace and disappeared in a green flame with a mumble of his home.

"t-thank you." peter scrambled to follow him, almost forgetting to grab a handful of floo powder before he too disappeared into the ashes.

a beat passed before y/n returned her eyes to an even more anxious and fidgeting sirius.

"mate, we'll see each other in a few weeks. you can't miss me that much whilst you're gone." james patted his best friend on the shoulder, not quite getting the truth behind his apprehension.

"yeah." sirius chuckled dryly to himself. "yeah. i'll see you after christmas, james."

sirius pulled the bespectacled boy into a tight hug, before glancing over at the small girl still squashed against her mother on the sofa. her green eyes held a knowing twinkle in them that hadn't been there before, a sympathetic smile gracing her lips.

"it was nice to meet you, y/n/n." sirius winked, stealing the nickname he had previously heard james calling her. "and thank you, mrs potter again for having us. oh. and do give my thanks to ribly for the tea, i'm sure she deserves it."

euphemia opened and closed her mouth in disbelief, not quite knowing how to respond to the cheek of the boy. y/n stiffled a giggle as she remembered hearing her mother glowing in the praise from the boys over how quickly she had put together tea and biscuits for them when they came inside the house.

"i'll be sure to write to you all about our adventures at hogwarts, y/n/n. Now I know you're real and not this git's imaginary best friend." sirius winked once last time before disappearing into a cloud of green.

silence fell over the potters as the twins tried not to laugh at their mother's shocked expression and how their father was frozen in his spot staring into the fireplace.

"well, i'm not sure who raised that boy but they certainly need a clip round the ear for the cheek he was giving me." euphemia scoffed, brushing off her skirt as she stood to exit the room.

"well, i for one, love them all." y/n grinned, already excited at the prospect of possibly being healed of her illness. "can we do what remus said, father? can we go see the muggle healer?"

fleamont only scoffed, walking out into the gardens with a slam of the door behind him.

"don't worry. i'll convince him. or more likely, i'll annoy him into agreeing." james winked at his sister, moving to help her back up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"and if that doesn't work?" y/n coughed as she finished her sentence.

"oh, it'll work." he only smirked, closing the door behind him after he settled her into the plush duvet and multitude of pillows.

—————

y/n bounced on her toes as she stretched over the crowds to catch a glimpse of the train pulling into the platform. her parents and her brother's friend's parents surrounded her in much less excited states, mrs lupin and ms pettigrew having a conversation about the odd letter they'd received from professor mcgonagall about an incident involving a toilet seat being stolen from one of the bathrooms.

"y/n, settle down. You're going to waste all your energy before the train even arrives." fleamont placed his hands firmly on his daughter's shoulders, stopping her in her place.

"but, father. jamie's nearly here, he doesn't even know i'm better yet. i just can't wait for him to see me." y/n grinned up at her father, their identical eyes staring into one another.

"and you'll be able to see him when he arrives, so long as you calm down." fleamont pressed harder on her shoulder, actually pushing her shoulders further into her back.

"yes, dad." y/n stopped her peering, instead staring behind her shoulder at the small crowd of blondes that had entered through the barrier only moments before.

the group of witches and wizards bared a likeness to one another besides their matching light-coloured hair, two of the girls having matching smirks as they ran ahead of their parents. the mother of the group struggled to catch up with the girls, giving up as she lost them to the masses of parents and children. the pair stumbled out from the crowd beside the potters, too peering over the crowds to catch a glimpse of the train approaching. they soon gave up as they realised they wouldn't be able to see over the masses of parents already pushing to reach the doors of the carriages. as they turned back to find their parents, the taller of the two locked eyes with y/n with a grin.

"it's no use trying. i've already been elbowed by more vicious mothers than i can count." y/n rubbed her arms where the feeling of their bony elbows remained.

"are you waiting for your brother or sister too?" the shorter twin grinned, happy to have found someone who looked to be their age.

"my twin brother." y/n grinned.

"twin?" the taller twin shared a glance with her sister. "why aren't you there with him?"

"i was ill." y/n could already see the pity filling their once cheerful faces. "b-but i'll be starting in september. dumbledore sent me the letter just this morning."

"so will we!" the twins said in a creepily matching tone.

"holly! heather!" a stern voice broke their conversation. "you can't just run off like that."

"oh, it's okay. they've just been here with us, avery. no need to fret." y/n's mother turned to the commotion, clearly recognising the man from her time at hogwarts.

"euphemia." the blonde man nodded his head once, before ushering the girls back to where their mother was sternly watching from afar. "come now, girls. don't want to disturb the potters after all."

"bye!" the shorter twin shouted.

"see you in september!" the other shouted after her before the trio were lost in the crowds.

"mum, who was that?" y/n turned to her mother, who was still staring off with a far-off look in her eyes.

"charlus avery. he was in my year at hogwarts." her mother brushed off the questions that were lingering on the tip of her daughter's tongue. "now, why don't we go find the boys?"

"but-" she couldn't finish her sentence before she was distracted by the familiar brunette head of her brother exiting the train carriage.

before her mother could stop her, y/n was off. she pushed past the vicious mothers from before, who glowered in her path and even pushed a few older hogwarts students out of the way all in her attempt to reach her twin. but her mind was flooded with guilt and gratitude towards the sandy-haired boy who was being rough-housed off of the train by sirius.

"remus!" y/n ran towards the boy as he stepped off of the hogwarts express, wrangling him into a  hug and completely ignoring her brother and his other friends.

"wow. no hello, not even a smile. some sister you are." james grumbled, not looking at the girl as he helped pettigrew carry the large cage of his cat off of the train.

y/n glared at her brother over remus' shoulder, not even giving him a taunt back, before she pulled back and grasped the boy's shoulders tightly. "thank you so much. i don't know what i would've done without you."

"i-i'm sorry?" remus stood in shock, not quite believing the once-sick girl in front of him was almost glowing as she bounced in place.

"we visited the muggle doctor like you suggested and they were able to heal me." y/n giggled, finally seeing her brother standing beside the sandy-haired boy. "jamie!"

"y/n/n? oh my god. you look so healthy." james squeezed his sister tight to his chest, burying his head in her shoulder to hide the tears pouring out of his eyes.

"boys! hurry and help mr potter with the bags!" mrs lupin shouted, waving them over to where mr potter was lugging the bags over to a large pile by their parents.

"sorry, dad!" james ran over to help his dad carry the remaining bags over to the group.

"so, no more blanket forts then?" a cockier than usual voice approached behind y/n.

"well, i can't spend my days at hogwarts in a bundle of blankets now can I?" y/n grinned as both sirius and peter stumbled behind her, trying to catch up with the newly speedy girl.

"y-you're coming to h-hogwarts?" peter stuttered out.

"yep. got my letter this morning. dumbledore must have been eager." y/n skipped her way back to her parents, curling into her mother's side who stared down at her with a fondness in her eyes that james had only seen a few times.

"it's so odd seeing her that.. energetic." james tilted his head to the side, not quite believing that it was indeed his little sister beaming up at their mother at the train platform.

"well, i for one, love it." sirius grinned, chasing after the girl to meet up with his friend's parents.

"remus, has she always had that small furry thing on her shoulder or have i gone insane?" peter leant up to the taller boy's ear, pointing at the creature that seemed to burrowing itself into her neck.

remus could only shake his head before he too was trailing after the girl, staring at the creature that was pulling the golden necklace from y/n's neck.

"y/n!" remus raced forward, pointing at the now-identified niffler. "you've got a niffler! it's stealing your necklace!"

y/n barely blinked as she stared down at the grey-bodied creature staring up at her as if it had been caught red-handed in a robbery.

"oh, jamie. what are you doing here?" y/n merely pulled the niffler out of her hair and tucked him into the inside pocket of her coat.

"i'm coming back from hogwarts?" james asked in question as he turned away from their father.

"oh, not you jamie. jamie junior." y/n proudly presented the niffler to her brother as he was stashing their mother's wedding ring into his pouch.

"that little rat. i knew i didn't lose my ring." euphemia glared at her sheepish husband who had blamed her for the act that morning.

"sorry, mum. jamie just likes shiny things, and your ring is the shiniest thing in the house besides my necklace."y/n pouted, upset that her newfound friend had been the cause of the argument between her parents that morning.

"it's okay, dear. i'll just have to charm it so that it doesn't get stolen again." she said in a manner that she usually used to scold her children.

"but why jamie?" james was still confused, staring into the black eyes of the creature that had stolen his namesake.

"well, uh." y/n was embarrassed to reveal the truth of jamie's name in front of her brother's friends. "i didn't have you at home anymore, so i um. i have my own jamie to replace you when you're not there."

james' confusion quickly turned to smugness at his sister's revelation.

"you missed me!" james pulled his sister into a headlock. "you missed me and couldn't wait for me to get back."

"oh, shut up." y/n blushed as she pushed her brother's arms away from her.

"ain't got to miss him for too long, love." sirius gestured, nudging the girl.

"what does he mean, y/n/n?" james asked, glossing over the nickname entirely.

"dumbledore sent me my letter this morning. i start at hogwarts in september." y/n glowed as she thought of finally being able to attend classes with other kids her age instead of by herself with mrs. flemming and mr. nilsen.

james couldn't fight the grin that broke out across his face as he leapt to pull his sister into a tight embrace. y/n's slight frame was swallowed by james's. she buried her face in his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of their father's aftershave he had stolen.

james' gentle laughter filled the quietness as he squeezed her tightly. "i missed you so much, y/n/n," he whispered in her ear.

tears welled up in y/n's eyes as she replied, her voice muffled against his shoulder, "i missed you too, jamie."

they held onto each other for what felt like an eternity, the bond between siblings stronger than ever.

"are you two done?" peter squeaked from behind them. "jamie junior has stolen all of my mum's jewellery and i think she's finally noticed."

"oh, merlin. i love your niffler, y/n/n." sirius laughed, watching as the pureblood woman began to flit about the station chasing after the tiny creature as it raced away towards the freedom that was the barrier to the station.

"yeah, he's definitely gonna be a handful at hogwarts." y/n grinned, unbeknownst to the chaos such a decision was going to cause her.

[murdrdocs]

kissing harry potter hesitantly, at least at first. tentative presses of your lips together, and then pulling apart. moments between each touch, the time between getting smaller and smaller until he's cupping your jaw with one hand and pulling you close with the other, and you're digging your nails into his chest. your bodies pushed together as the hesitance melts away completely. he knows what he's doing. or, he's doing the right thing, you don't know if he means to or not. he lets you set the parameters—it's you who introduces tongue at first and it's you who gently moans the first time—but then he takes the authorization in stride. he doubles it.

he runs his tongue along yours, he groans into your mouth when you accidentally knock your hips into his belt buckle and the, now extremely obvious, confined shape right beneath it. he gets really into it and uses the break that you politely ask for to bury his head in the crook of your neck and pant against your skin. when you run your nails through the short hairs at the back of his head, his breathing skips and he audibly shudders. he's greedy with it, taking whatever you can give and just a tiny bit more.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

MAKING UP AND OUT - S.B

Warnings: none

Summary: the one where sirius black realises the mistake he has made and tries to make it up

Wordcount: 3.6k

The Gryffindor common room was a haven for the seventh years, especially at 11pm when it was empty and all of the marauders and their associates would gather and drink whilst playing silly muggle board games.

There was one sitting on the table in the middle of the seats and they were barely playing, talking over the game as they would occasionally flick a wand to roll the dice. There was something so nice about the mundane moments in life, where they could all just sit together and forget all of the horrors of life.

Laughter erupted from the group at some joke that Remus made. He was sitting on the edge of Marlene’s armchair and she pushed him off, watching as he stumbled back into the armchair that Alice and Mary were squeezed onto.

You and Peter were sitting on the sofa, your legs sprawled out over most of it, the boy curled into the feral position as he just watched the scene. Dorcas was sitting on the floor below him, knees tucked into her chest.

On the other side of the room was Sirius. He had just come downstairs after a study session and was standing by the staircase, leaning up against the banister as he admired the scene.

The only two missing from the group were Lily and James who were on their patrols as head girl and head boy and whilst it did feel weird for them to hang out without them, it was good for them to spend some time together alone.

“Yes! Yes!” James yelled as he ran through the door, his hands pumping the air as he looked at his friends. Remus stumbled off of the floor and walked over to his friend, placing his hands on his shoulders.

”What? What’s going on?” He asked.

Nobody could ignore the wide smile on his face and there was a moment of tension as they awaited his news, ”She said yes!”

There was a resounding gasp through the group, Dorcas jumping up off of the floor as they all realised that the moment they had all been waiting for had happened, “She did?”

“She said yes! Lily Evans is going on a date with me!” He jumped up in the air with a cheer and the room burst into applause.

After seven years of pining for the redhead girl that sat across from him in potions, he finally had her wrapped around his finger. They had all seen this coming and were all happier than ever for him. The room was flooded with congratulations and cheers as they marvelled at their friends ability to succeed at the long game.

You, on the other hand, sat there for a moment in silence. Lily was one of your closest friends and you were so happy that she had finally decided to go out with James, he was the perfect guy for her.

If only you could have the guy that you had been pining for. Sirius was still standing on the other side of the room, his eyes trained on you, and when you looked up, the two of you locked eyes. It was like he could see the turmoil inside of your soul, the way you were happy for her but at the same time, envious of the relationship.

”We all knew she’d say yes eventually,” Marlene said, leaning over the armchair as she pat James on the cheek, him laughing at her.

When you looked back at Sirius, he was still looking at you and you could feel your cheeks heating up at the intensity of his stare.

Last October, you and Sirius had hooked up and it had been the best night of your life. He had told you that he had feelings for you and that he was hoping that there was something there, that he had wanted to be more than friends for a while.

You could picture him now, his arms wrapped around your body, his bare chest pressed up against your back as you woke up surrounded by him after a drunken night at one of the parties by the black lake.

Two weeks later, he had decided that you should remain as friends because it would be too complicated if you were dating whilst you were all still friends. You agreed with him because it would have blown up the friend group if it didnt work out. Still, there was a feeling in your chest like you were falling in love with him every time you saw him.

He was still flirty, always making jokes about the two of you, or sitting next to you in the crowded rooms, legs pressed up against each other. There was something there stil, an undeniable spark but neither of you had addressed it. So now it was January and your heart hurt every time you saw him even talking to someone else.

So yeah, you were happy for Lily and James but a little piece of your heart shattered all over again as you wondered what could have happened between you and Sirius.

James had finished his shift patrolling the halls so came to join you guys in playing the game, squeezing between you and Peter on the sofa, a hand patting down on his best friends leg as they talked about the ideas for the date.

You looked over at Alice and Marlene, the two sharing a quick whisper, the latter squealing, before Alice cleared her throat, “Guess what else happened?”

“What?” You questioned, brows furrowed in confusion at the amount of announcements going on tonight.

“I told Frank I love him,” she announced.

There was a collective awe from all of the girls in the room and an appreciative nodding from the boys as they all listened to the story of how they were hanging out at Hogsmeade, cuddled up at a booth and then she just blurted it out.

”Merlin, that’s amazing,” Mary said, smiling at the interaction.

Marlene narrowed her eyes, “He said it back, right?”

Alice nodded enthusiastically, not wanting to give anyone the impression that it wasn’t mutual, “Of course, it was so perfect,”

there it was again. You could feel that little piece of your heart chipping away at yet another happy relationship that had occurred within the friendship group and how they were working out.

Every time you closed your eyes, you would see Sirius there at the party, his hand brushing the hair out of your face as he leaned down to kiss you, pulling you up to his face.

You could feel the tears burning behind your eyes as you thought about everything that the two of you could have had and how easily he had thrown it all away, like it meant absolutely nothing to him.

You knew that if you stuck around any longer, listening to Alice recount the story to them all, that you would burst into tears in front of all of your friends so you stood up, stepping over the beer bottles that littered the floor, and headed towards your stairs.

“Ill be back in a min, just going to grab my water bottle,” you said, informing Remus as he asked where you were going.

You walked towards the staircase and you cursed yourself for using that excuse because you knew that would mean having to get close to Sirius. You could smell his signature cologne within seconds, your head tilting up to give him a polite smile as you started to walk past him.

“Hey,” he reached out and grabbed onto your arm, stopping you from moving. It was a light grip but you understood that he wanted you to stay so you didn’t fight him, “Where you going?”

It was painful enough to be close to him but now, with his long fingers wrapped around your wrist, you could feel your body heating up, your eyes trailed up along the veins on his arms from where he had rolled his sleeves up, along the obvious muscle of his arms exposed by his tight shirt, past the two moles on his neck, along his strong prominent jaw.

Your face was heating up the more you looked at him and you averted your eyes before he could notice how flustered you had become, “I’m thirsty,”

You shook your arm out of his grasp and he watched as you rushed upstairs away a from him as fast as you possibly could.

You sat down on your bed, head collapsing in your hands at the humiliation of the whole situation because he must know that you still like him and there he was, taunting you like he always did.

A tear slipped down your cheek against your own will and you quickly wiped away. Merlin, this was so pathetic of you to be upset because some measly guy didnt like you back. You could ask out any guy in this castle and they might say yes but the issue is that you didn’t want just anyone, you wanted him. He was everything that you had ever wanted.

Sure, Sirius Black had a plethora of issues from his problems with his family to his avoidance of being in a relationship but you could care less about all of that because you knew that there was something between the two of you.

You took a deep breath and stood up, walking to the vanity on the other side of the room and looking at yourself. Your eyes were a little red and there was a small smudge of mascara on the apples of your cheek but you wiped it away and prepared to leave.

That’s when you spotted his face through the mirror. He was just standing at the door, looking at you with that intense stare.

“Your mama never taught you that staring is rude Black?” You said before turning around to face him, folding your arms across your chest

He hummed in response, a cocky look on his face, “Mum never taught me anything,”

You could feel your face heating up in embarrassment. You were so ready to spite him that you had forgotten the biggest issue he dealt with, “yeah, sorry,”

”I should be the one apologising,”

You scoffed, “For what?”

“The way I have been treating you since that night, for starters,” those were the words that you had been wanting to hear for weeks yet you were sitting here and they were rolling off of you like it didn’t matter.

“You shouldn’t apologise. You told me not to do it if I thought I’d get attached and look where we are now,” you shook your head because the words were the truth. You never should have done it because you knew you would fall for him.

You looked away from him, the embarassment creeping up on you again. Being this vulnerable with him used to be easy but there was something about having to admit your feelings for him knowing that he probably didn’t feel the same way that left a sickening feeling in your gut.

There was a beat of silence and Sirius pursed his lips together, trying to decide if he was making a mistake in what he was about to admit, “I think I was speaking for both of us,”

You hummed in response. That was not the reply that you had expected, “That so?”

there was something about this whole situation that felt icky, like he was lying to you. Maybe because he was, maybe because you were just scared that he was telling the truth and that was just the worst possible scenario.

”Yeah, I think I got a little attached too,” he replied.

You shook your head because there was no way that was how he had felt, “You were the one that said we should stop this,” you gestured between the two of you.

there was no word for whatever was going on between you, more than friends but less than lovers. Everyone always wanted this, to be friends first and then fall in love but the waiting was agonising. The constant questioning if they really felt the same way towards you was slowly tearing you apart and you wondered if Sirius could see it, the very fabric of your being being unthreaded by his words.

”I know that,” he responded. It was so monosyllabic, like he didn’t even care.

There was something about his tone that caused the blood to boil in your veins, like he was so nonchalant about his feelings.

“You were the one that told me that you weren’t sure if you had feelings for me?” The words were starting to get agressive, all of that anger that had been kept inside of your chest finally coming out.

“I know that,” you scoffed again at the nonchalant tone to his voice.

You brushed a hand over your face, the frustration obvious now, “Okay. So why are we dragging this out again? It hurt enough to get over it the first time,” you asked.

Sirius rolled back and forth on the balls of his feet, a habit you had noticed after all of the years of knowing him. You knew him better than most people do, more than anyone. You could pinpoint the moles on his body, number the freckles on his face, tell people how he likes his coffee, the music he likes to listen to when nobody else is listening. There were parts of him he had only revealed to you so you knew he was nervous when he rocked back and forth on his feet.

“Because-“ he swallowed and you watched as he fiddled with the rings on his fingers, staring down at his hands. You waited for the rest of the sentence but you were getting annoyed, “-because I’m not quite over it either,”

”Shut up,” you spat the words out with a venom that had never been directed at Sirius.

You didn’t even have time to be shocked at his confession because you were sure that it was a lie, that he was teasing you for some sick, masochistic reason. There was no way that he felt the same way about you.

This. This whole situation had been caused by im being scared to get into a relationship with you and now he was here trying to retcon it. You were not having any of it.

the only thing you could think to do was leave before the tears that were burning behind your eyes spilled over and you embarrassed yourself in front of him even more. So you tried to storm past him, shoulder bumping into his. He grabbed onto your arm, his grip firm but gentle.

You weren’t having it. You pulled your arm out of his grip and he let go quickly, “Don’t,” you spat out, giving him a glare that was normally reserved for irritating Slytherins.

He muttered your name in the way he always does, voice low and sexy. It made chills go up your spine, even if you didn’t want to feel that way about him.

You shook your head, ignoring the way he said your name, “Do not do this to me,”

“Do what?” His brows were furrowed and his eyes narrowed like he didn’t know the effect he had on you.

“Make me think you love me! You’re driving me crazy!” Your words were loud as you looked at him, eyes wide.

You had felt crazy from the moment that you had kissed him, like a puzzle piece had finally been clicked into place and then immediately knocked away. You had been overthinking every little thing that he did and you couldn’t do it anymore.

The eye contact between you and Sirius was intense and you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from him. There was something pulling you two together, like a magnet. You had to get away so you brushed past him but this time he didn’t grab onto you to stop you.

“I’m so worried that I am falling in love with you and that is why I have been pushing you away,” the words came tumbling out of his mouth before he even had a moment to think about the consequences.

You froze on the spot, eyes widening as you realised what he had said. There was no way that the man thaat you were falling for had just admitted the same thing to you, it wasn’t plausible.

Slowly, you spun around on your heel to look at him and you saw him standing there in the middle of the room, eyes wide like a puppy. The second you had stormed off, he had panicked and admitted what he had been holding in for weeks, he was trying to make you stay.

”If this is some joke, I will kill you,” you said, trying to hide the way your lip wobbled as you held back tears.

He nodded, giving you a sympathetic smile, “Reasonable,”

“What isn’t reasonable is why you’ve been playing with my emotions for months,” you weren't going to let him off so easy. You had felt like shit for so long and one admission of love was never going to be enough to make you come back to his side.

He gave you a look like he felt guilty about the way he had treated you, and you were sure it was genuine. You just weren’t sure how easily you were going to get over it.

You thought back to the way that you would lie in your bed, a numb feeling in your chest as you played over moments that the two of you had shared, trying to understand where it went wrong.

Sirius gave you a look like he understood that he had made a mistake, “I've needed some time to figure out how i feel,”

“And you couldn’t have communicated that to me?” You asked.

“I needed some time,” he replied, like it would change everything you had gone through.

”Okay-” you folded your arms over your chest. You knew you would forgive him for it all, because your love was stronger than that. Still, you wanted to see what lengths he would go to in order to make it up to you, “So what are you gonna do about it now,”

there was a teasing tone to your words and he smiled to himself. The tension eased up between you and that great divide between you seemed to shrink with every step that he took towards you.

When he stood in front of you, towering over you like he always did, you could feel your heart racing. For the first time in months, you didn’t feel like that idiot that had been played by Sirius Black.

There were butterflies in your stomach as you looked up at him, his eyes baring into yours. It was like the first time you had kissed, standing outside of the Black Lake, his focus unwavering.

He hesitated for a second, almost like he was nervous. Then, he reached up and cupped your face in his hands, holding you so gently like you were porcelain that could break at any wrong move, “I’m gonna kiss you, and I’m gonna take you on a date and I am going to make this right,”

You hummed in response, trying to keep your composure but you were definitely a little bit flustered at how close he was to you, “You still have a lot of grovelling to do Black,”

“I know baby,” the nickname made your cheeks heat up even more, his voice low and sultry, “But will you give me a second chance,”

You sighed, trying to hide the smile that was creeping out from your mouth, “Of course,” you said, leaning in to close the gap between the two of you, capturing his lips in yours.

The whole world slowed as you kissed him, it was gentle at first, just a press of your lips. As he got more desperate, the kiss became more forceful, his tongue slipping between your lips.

Your hands came up to his shoulders, gripping onto the fabric there. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute and it felt like you were flying.

When you pulled apart, he rested his forehead against yours and smiled to himself, “Thank you, for giving me a second chance,”

You opened your eyes and looked at him, the red flush spreading across his cheeks. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his quickly in a chaste kiss, “Don’t screw it up,”

“Yes ma’am,” he muttered before kissing you again. He wasn’t going to mess it up, ever.

[rottenherbs]

Time For Me? // F.W x reader

Summary: Fred is jealous is over your several hobbies and tries you pull you away for some alone time

Word count: 605

Authors note: a shorty! My requests are open for any little quips or ideas you want or imagine for yourself. <3

[masterlist]

Much love, Saige

Fred loved how involved you were in school and honestly anything that caught your eye. He could listen to you talk for hours on anything you were currently interested in. Whether it was a new book, a new club, a new hobby, or even just a new recipe that the house elf’s seemed to try out that morning for breakfast. You noticed the little things that others overlooked and it made his heart swell.

It was only until he felt as if your time together was distracted by outside projects, that he selfishly felt he wanted to intervene.

“Darling?” Fred mumbled announcing his presence. He walked up behind you and placed his hands on the top of your shoulders, rubbing them lovingly.

“Hmmmm” You replied lazily. Your focus was on the sheet in front of you. A pile of books and scrap information surrounded the table haphazardly. The sight was one to behold, but Fred had no issue waiting patiently for you to finish before interrupting your train of thought again.

You read for a second more before setting the paper down and leaning back into Fred's body, sighing loudly as you relished in his touch. He bent down and kissed the top of your head, not stopping his hands from massaging the tension from your body. He could feel the knots in your back, realizing that you had to have been sitting there for hours.

“Hi my love.. I'm sorry.” You turned to face him, his smile small yet still soft as he tried to decipher what you were reading. You followed his eyes to the work on the table and smiled. “Professor Mcgonagal had given me some works on Obscurials.” You paused, handing Fred the paper you held. ”It's quite sad honestly, but deeply fascinating.”

You watched his eyes trace over the paragraphs, skimming and bouncing around trying to take in everything quickly.

”It’s…” Fred started, trying to find the right words so as not to offend, but truthfully he was bored and would rather be hanging out with you, talking about something more frivolous.

”It’s a lot.” He moaned, handing the paper back to you. You nodded in agreement, able to notice the discontent on his face. You set the paper down and turned your body to face him entirely, grabbing his hands and holding them in your own.

“So.. What's going on in Freds mind.” You quipped, looking up at the boy hoping to figure out what he was up to.

“Just you..” He smiled, happy to have your undivided attention.

”How about we get out of here.” He tugged on your hands, urging you to stand from the stiff desk. “Let’s get outside. Let's go on an adventure.” He whined further, his small smirk turning into a forced pout.

”I suppose I could read more later…” You trailed, looking back at the pile of papers, almost tugging your attention between it and Fred.

“Come onnn. You deserve a break.” He whined, leaning down and kissing your hands, his warm lips almost levitating you from your seat. “Make some time for little ol me?” He smirked, seeing his charm work almost instantly.

“How can I say no to that face eh?” You giggled, following his movements out of the room. His hand was tightly engulfed in yours, laughing and twirling you around the room.

It only took a second, but before you knew it, you couldn’t remember what you were reading about. Only the sight of the red head boy leading you through the halls immersed your senses, bringing you back to childlike wonder and the simple pleasures of the castle.

Fred loved how involved you were in school and honestly anything that caught your eye. He could listen to you talk for hours on anything you were currently interested in. Whether it was a new book, a new club, a new hobby, or even just a new recipe that the house elf’s seemed to try out that morning for breakfast. You noticed the little things that others overlooked and it made his heart swell.

It was only until he felt as if your time together was distracted by outside projects, that he selfishly felt he wanted to intervene.

“Darling?” Fred mumbled announcing his presence. He walked up behind you and placed his hands on the top of your shoulders, rubbing them lovingly.

“Hmmmm” You replied lazily. Your focus was on the sheet in front of you. A pile of books and scrap information surrounded the table haphazardly. The sight was one to behold, but Fred had no issue waiting patiently for you to finish before interrupting your train of thought again.

You read for a second more before setting the paper down and leaning back into Fred's body, sighing loudly as you relished in his touch. He bent down and kissed the top of your head, not stopping his hands from massaging the tension from your body. He could feel the knots in your back, realizing that you had to have been sitting there for hours.

“Hi my love.. I'm sorry.” You turned to face him, his smile small yet still soft as he tried to decipher what you were reading. You followed his eyes to the work on the table and smiled. “Professor Mcgonagal had given me some works on Obscurials.” You paused, handing Fred the paper you held. ”It's quite sad honestly, but deeply fascinating.”

You watched his eyes trace over the paragraphs, skimming and bouncing around trying to take in everything quickly.

”It’s…” Fred started, trying to find the right words so as not to offend, but truthfully he was bored and would rather be hanging out with you, talking about something more frivolous.

”It’s a lot.” He moaned, handing the paper back to you. You nodded in agreement, able to notice the discontent on his face. You set the paper down and turned your body to face him entirely, grabbing his hands and holding them in your own.

“So.. What's going on in Freds mind.” You quipped, looking up at the boy hoping to figure out what he was up to.

“Just you..” He smiled, happy to have your undivided attention.

”How about we get out of here.” He tugged on your hands, urging you to stand from the stiff desk. “Let’s get outside. Let's go on an adventure.” He whined further, his small smirk turning into a forced pout.

”I suppose I could read more later…” You trailed, looking back at the pile of papers, almost tugging your attention between it and Fred.

“Come onnn. You deserve a break.” He whined, leaning down and kissing your hands, his warm lips almost levitating you from your seat. “Make some time for little ol me?” He smirked, seeing his charm work almost instantly.

“How can I say no to that face eh?” You giggled, following his movements out of the room. His hand was tightly engulfed in yours, laughing and twirling you around the room.

It only took a second, but before you knew it, you couldn’t remember what you were reading about. Only the sight of the red head boy leading you through the halls immersed your senses, bringing you back to childlike wonder and the simple pleasures of the castle.

[pomegranatesarchive]

hello can i pls request rasgulla and pani puro with fred weasley??? (in my head it’s like a friends to lovers type situation)

rasgulla: "why are you looking at me like that?" pani puri: "you kissed me! you kissed me, how's that not a big deal?"

You knew it was a mistake the second you pulled back from Fred. His eyes were closed in complete bliss, lips puckered out slightly.

You cringed into yourself slightly, looking everywhere but at the boy in front of you.

You didnt see it, but Fred's lips slowly turned upward into a smile.

You paused, taking a slight breath, "I'm...sorry." you whispered.

You two stood in silence for a couple minutes before you gained the courage to turn and look at your best friend. He was staring at you will the widest eyes you'd ever seen, his cheeks pink with a goofy smile on his face.

"What?" you asked defensively, wrapping your arms around yourself, "Why are you looking at me like that?" you gave him a look.

He shook his head, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts, but you had already turned with a scoff, "Whatever Fred—"

Fred, with panicked eyes, gripped your wrist, turning you back around, "Wait, wait, what's wrong?"

You snatched your hand back, "Nothing's wrong, okay? Just forget about it."

Fred opened and shut his mouth multiple times, "Forget? About...the kiss?"

"Yes, Fred! What else would I possibly be talking about," you snapped, rolling your eyes, "It's not a big deal, mistakes happen."

Suddenly, Fred looked incredibly offended, "Not a big deal? Mistake?" He shook his head, "No no! You kissed me. You kissed me, how's that not a big deal?"

You spluttered, looking around the dark hallway with your mouth open in shock as if you had an audience "J-just forget about it okay? Don't ruin this."

"You ruined this the second you kissed me!"

"It was a mistake!"

"You're hurting my feelings!"

You both paused, taking deep breaths, it was Fred who broke the silence, "We've known each other for ten years."

you could only nod, "You've been my best friend for eight years." he continued.

You resisted the urge to make a snarky comment, Fred stuttered for a moment, "And I've been in love with you for five years."

You two stared at each other awkwardly, both taking deep breaths in and out. Finally, it was you who broke the silence, "I thought George was your best friend."

The ginger gave you an unimpressed look, and instantly you felt horrible, "Sorry for saying our kiss was a mistake."

Fred only nodded, "It wasn't.. I was just, I dunno, didnt want to make it awkward I guess." you shrugged, playing with the loose string on your robe.

Fred continued to stay silent and you were starting to worry, "I really am sorry....it was a big deal, a really big deal. Like huge."

You peered up at him, who simply stared down blankly, "Are you mad at me?" you murmured, "Because you can if you want— I was mean—"

"Can we kiss again?"

You paused, mind going blank, before quickly nodding, "Yes, yes we can."

[hirayalore]

Hi!

I saw you were taking request. Can I please ask for an imagine where reader was Cedric's Slytherin Girlfriend, maybe from a Deatheather Family (Malfoys or Lestranges) and how does she deal With the grief for Cedric knowing that her family Is on the Side of the war that supports the men that killed the love of her life.

Please and thank you in advance If you have the chance to make It!

[ angst | semi-fluff | 2.1k words ]

Nobody really knew about yours and Cedric’s relationship.

It was always reserved in dark corridors, empty classrooms, and places wherein nobody would see how the Hufflepuff boy had a knack of making you, the cold and reserved Malfoy, grin—a laugh even escaping your lips at times you were in a rather good mood.

There wasn’t any formal discussion that made it clear that this thing between you would be kept a secret, really. Instead, it was like an unspoken understanding that you two shared, perhaps due to how different your family backgrounds were and how opposite your characters were as well.

Just the mere fact that he was in Hufflepuff and you were in Slytherin was enough to raise eyebrows, and you weren’t really keen on getting more attention that you already do just because of a personal detail of your life that not everybody had the business of knowing anyway.

But all of that changed when Cedric made the bold move of asking you to go to the Yule ball with him, insisting that if you weren’t going to accept, then he was not going to go.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you said with a snort, looking at him from where he’s standing beside you in the Astronomy tower, one of your usual meeting spots after classes. “You’re a Hogwarts champion. That alone forbids you to skip the event.”

“There’s no actual rule that forbids me, love,” he replied, a smirk casting his features. “So, technically, I could skip it if I wanted to.”

“Yes, but it’d be a shame if you chose not to go. It’s not every time you Hufflepuffs have something to brag about,” you teased.

“Then go with me. Accept my offer of being my date, and I’ll gladly attend.”

You watched as Cedric stepped closer to you, a hand brushing away the strands of your hair that managed to sweep over your eyes because of the wind. Your expression softened ever so slightly, the hope in his voice making your tough disposition crumble a bit.

“Are you certain?” you asked. “I mean… if I go with you, you know they’ll start talking.”

“Let them talk. I don’t care.”

“But I do.” You swallowed hard, turning away to avoid his eyes. “I don’t want them to talk bad about you. I already know what they think about me, about my family—but you, Cedric, I wouldn’t want—”

He cut you off, shaking his head and bringing a hand once more close to your face, this time to make you look at him as his thumb guided your chin to face him again. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I get to bring my lovely girl to the dance and spend a marvelous evening with her,” he said, even leaning down to press a light kiss on your lips.

You smiled, your resolve truly fading away. You raised your toes up higher in an attempt to give him another kiss, a gesture that he gladly obliged to. “Fine,” you murmured, “but if Cho Chang ends up crying in the bathroom when she sees us together, I’m not one to blame.”

Cedric laughed loudly, pulling you in for a tight embrace.

And so on the day of the Yule Ball, the entire student body was in shock at the sight of Cedric Diggory with your hand perched onto his arm. He looked proud and happy that you couldn’t help but feel less anxious about the whole thing, convinced that tonight would be the only time the noise would be loud, but after that, everybody would no longer pay your relationship with Cedric any attention.

Thankfully, you were right.

After gossip spread and students talked about the both of you for a couple days, it eventually died down, especially with the Triwizard Tournament still at its peak. However, you couldn’t say the same thing about Draco Malfoy, your cousin, who seemed to think that showing disappointment and disapproval would make you stop dating Cedric.

“He’s a Hufflepuff,” Draco drawled to you one night at the Slytherin common room. “You must be out of your mind, willingly associating yourself with him.”

“I might be,” you deadpanned, flipping through your Transfiguration book.

“Does Father know about this?”

You raised a brow at him, annoyed. “Why would Uncle Lucius be informed of who I’m dating?”

“To talk some sense in you.” He scoffed. “You obviously need it.”

Nonetheless, despite the unsolicited advice you’d often get from Draco about how you should live your life, it was generally tolerable. You’ve always been good at tuning out opinions that didn’t hold any significance to you, so you were quick to adjust at the sudden shift of being once in a secret relationship with Cedric to now with everybody knowing what’s going on.

For what it’s worth though, at least you didn’t have to sneak around the castle just to get some private time with your boyfriend. This new sense of liberty granted you the opportunity of easily hanging out with him at the courtyard or by the lake, letting others finally catch a glimpse of how Cedric could surprisingly bring out the best in you and transform you into a smiling machine.

“Your fan club’s staring,” you would tell him whenever you noticed a bunch of girls gawking at you both, whispering among themselves.

Cedric would glance at them, prompting them to pretend that they weren’t doing just that. “They’re not looking at me.”

“Oh, then are they looking at me?”

“Naturally.” He smirked. “Hasn’t anybody told you that you’re very easy on the eyes?”

As more weeks passed, you were getting used to the whole arrangement and have become more at ease with it. You began to be more affectionate towards Cedric, even when the two of you weren’t behind closed doors, and you let it slide whenever he felt particularly cheeky and stole kisses on your temple or lips. 

The attachment you had for him grew with each passing day, and that didn’t mix well with the dangerous tasks he had to do for the Triwizard Tournament. First, it was with those vicious dragons, then for the second task, you were chosen to be the person that Cedric had to save in order to advance to the next round, held hostage by merpeople at the bottom of the Black lake. 

It made you realize that the tournament truly was no small matter, and that if he wasn’t going to continue being smart about it, he might come to face a more dangerous situation.

“Be careful tomorrow, okay?” You told him the night before the final mission. “Don’t even think about winning. Just getting out of there safely would be fine.”

He chuckled, his arms that were around you to combat the cold night tightening. “Aren’t Slytherins supposed to be ambitious? Why are you discouraging me to win?”

“I’m not discouraging you to win. I’m merely warning you to get back safely.”

“And if I don’t?” There was that mischievous personality that only showed itself whenever he was with you. “Would you deprive me of attention again like you did last time when you got mad at me?”

You playfully slapped his chest, causing him to emit another chuckle. ���I’ll do worse.”

“Oh, but there’s nothing worse than being ignored by the love of your life, I’m afraid.” He further teased, planting a lingering kiss on the corner of your mouth. “No worse punishment than that, unfortunately.”

But Cedric was wrong.

There was a worse punishment of being ignored by the love of your life.

It was witnessing the love of your life dead on the ground, brought by Harry Potter who shouted of Voldemort’s return, silence ensuing at the Quidditch Pitch where the maze for the last task stood. 

As Amos Diggory wailed and cried for his son, you were frozen at your spot by the stands, unable to process what was happening before you. You couldn’t look away from Cedric’s lifeless body, couldn’t bring yourself to flash your gaze elsewhere but to his eyes that remained staring above.

If it wasn’t for your friend who had the initiative of shielding you away from the sight, spinning your body to the other direction, you would have remained staring at him with this horrible feeling arising in your chest, making you want to vomit.

“Cedric,” you managed to choke out to your friend, tearing up and shaking. “Cedric—he’s… he—”

Before you could finish speaking, you collapsed on the ground, vision blurring and the whole world beneath you seemingly shaking. Your hands were getting clammy, your heart was beating louder inside your chest, and it was getting difficult to breathe. It was like your lungs were shrinking and there was nothing you could do about it.

“_____,” your friend held your shoulders, “____, let’s—”

But whatever it is that she said, it didn’t register properly inside your brain.

Because as you sat there on the ground, gasping for air and feeling your throat tighten, all you could think about was Cedric Diggory and how you were never going to be with him ever again.

****

After his death, nobody saw you again.

They didn’t see you during the memorial, they didn’t see you during the graduation, and whenever they asked your friends about your whereabouts, they told them they had no idea as well.

The truth was you had run away. You had run away from your home after confirming their connection with the Dark Lord and discovering that it was one of his followers, Peter Pettigrew, that killed Cedric. 

No matter how much your mother screamed at you, how your father threatened you from going against their will, how they had the audacity to force you to be in allegiance with Voldemort after being made aware of your relationship with Cedric—you still found the courage to rebel against them, insulting their loyalty to the wrong person before moving out and apparating as far away as possible with almost nothing but a few galleons to survive by.

Now, you resided at a small Muggle village, working as some sort of assistant to an elderly couple who ran a flourishing bakery in town.

They didn’t ask much about your past when you arrived at their doorstep, handing out the flyer that said they needed a diligent helper for the business. Instead they chose to help you out, somehow understanding that you were only a child forced into adulthood who needed guidance and care from people (in this case, perhaps them) who had the means to give it.

“Don’t stay out too late,” Mrs. West, the elderly woman, called as you said your goodbyes, telling that you were off to visit a friend.

“I won’t!” You smiled.

Walking a few steps away from the village and off to an area you knew wouldn’t have people standing around, you took out your wand from your bag and apparated to the place you made sure to come to every month—

Cedric’s grave

Even though it has almost been a year since the tragedy happened, the memory of his lifeless body was still fresh in your mind. In a way, you reckoned you never had the closure you should have had at the time of his passing, as you didn’t even have the guts to face his father, too ashamed with yourself at the knowledge that it was one of your ‘people’ that was responsible for Cedric’s untimely demise.

But things were getting better, and you were in the process of dealing with the grief that came along with losing a very important person in your life. Somehow it helped that you were no longer part of the world that took him away, that you no longer had to interact with your family that was just as vile as their leader and reminded you of the most horrible occurrence to happen in your existence. 

With a press of your lips, you crouched down and took the old flowers on the grass where his grave was, replacing it with fresh daffodils that reminded you of him. They were yellow, like the colors of his Hogwarts house, and symbolized rebirth which in the back of your head, was what you desired Cedric who you also knew was impossible to be brought back.

“Rest easy, love,” you whispered, sweeping fallen leaves off his grave stone. “I’ll try to live how you might have wanted me to.”

And you do try, every single day, carrying his memory in your heart, believing that although the ache you feel because of his absence will perhaps live on for an eternity—things will get better, just as Cedric always reminded you so.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ author’s note: hehehe,, went in and wrote a little back story too before writing the angsty part 🥲 to the anonie who requested this, i hope you liked it!

gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and you’ll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter ♡

[roselilies]

[mcntsee]

me when I reach the angst part of the angsty fic that I specifically chose for the angst

[fear-less]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 this is awkward..

pairing: james potter x f!reader

➥ In which, you were fed up with James, deciding to put aside your pettiness you drag him away from the gryffindor party to talk to him.

Warnings: angst, fluff, james pov, this inspired by awae (aka the best show ever), r and james speaking is 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓵𝔂 inspired by gilbert confessing that he wants anne so effing bad bc he 𝓯𝔀 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝔂, lowkey dont hate me for making the “dreams” u want so like…. I just didn't know what to do bc like idk smh i set back women 50 years by that

a/n: tysm for all the love on this series!! y’all are NOT ready for the next chapter, writing it rn and 😭🙏 BUTTT tysm for 300🫶🫶 also I finished the last chapter... do y'all want me to post it today or edge y'all and post it tomorrow

series masterlist ! - divider creds: i-mmaculatus & dollywons

It was now nearing the end of the school year—even if there was still a month to go. James could now be in the same room as you without glaring daggers at whoever you were talking to. Though he told himself he was over you, he knew deep down that the feelings never faded.

He told himself it didn’t matter. He told himself he was fine. And yet, every time he caught sight of you, every time your laughter reached his ears from across the room, it was as if someone had set fire to his resolve.

He wanted to talk to you so badly it was almost pathetic. But it was like the universe itself was conspiring against him—or, more specifically, like Finn Laurier had developed some sort of sixth sense for James’s intentions.

Because every single time James gathered enough courage, every time he braced himself to walk over to you, Finn would appear out of nowhere. Whether it was in the Great Hall, the library, or even during Quidditch practice, Finn always seemed to materialize by your side at precisely the wrong moment, stealing away your attention and leaving James feeling like the outsider in his own story.

It was infuriating.

“Mate, you’re grinding your teeth,” Sirius remarked casually one afternoon as they sat under the beech tree by the lake.

James startled, realizing with some embarrassment that Sirius was right. He quickly unclenched his jaw and let out a frustrated sigh.

“Sorry,” he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair. “I’m just…”

“Just what?” Sirius prompted, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” James lied, though his voice betrayed him.

Sirius gave him a knowing look. “If this is about her again, just—”

“It’s not about her,” James interrupted quickly, though he winced as the words left his mouth. He knew Sirius wouldn’t believe him, and he wasn’t sure he even believed himself anymore.

Sirius sighed, shaking his head. “Prongs, you’re going to drive yourself mad if you keep this up. Just talk to her already.”

“I’ve tried!” James snapped, louder than he intended. He lowered his voice and added, “I’ve tried, but every bloody time, Finn shows up. It’s like he’s got a bloody tracker on her or something.”

Remus, who had been quietly reading nearby, finally chimed in. “You know, maybe you’re overthinking this,” he said, not looking up from his book.

“How could I possibly be overthinking this?” James demanded, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Maybe Finn’s not doing it on purpose,” Remus suggested calmly. “Maybe it’s just bad timing.”

“Bad timing?” James repeated incredulously. “Bad timing doesn’t happen this often, Moony. This is a pattern.”

Remus gave him a skeptical look but didn’t argue further.

James leaned back against the tree trunk, closing his eyes and letting out a long breath. He hated how much this was bothering him. He hated how much control this entire situation had over him.

But most of all, he hated the thought that you might actually be happy with Finn.

It wasn’t that he thought Finn was a bad guy—quite the opposite, really. Finn was charming, talented, and annoyingly good at everything he did. He was the kind of guy parents adored, the kind of guy professors went out of their way to praise. And worst of all, he was the kind of guy who could make you smile in a way James had only dreamed of.

James opened his eyes, staring up at the branches overhead. “Maybe I should just give up,” he muttered.

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, right. That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve said all day.”

“I’m serious,” James insisted.

“No, I’m Sirius,” Sirius quipped, smirking.

James groaned, throwing a small pebble in his direction. “Not the time for jokes.”

“Fine, fine,” Sirius said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “But seriously, you’re not giving up. You’re James Potter, remember? Stubborn, arrogant, never-takes-no-for-an-answer James Potter. You don’t give up on things you care about.”

James hesitated, staring at the rippling water of the Black Lake. He wanted to believe Sirius. He wanted to believe that there was still a chance, that you weren’t as far out of reach as you seemed.

But as he watched you across the courtyard later that day, standing beside Finn and laughing at something he said, James couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, it was too late.

But his doubt soon melted into something far more unsettling when he noticed your gaze shift. For the first time in what felt like forever, your attention wasn’t on Finn Laurier—it was on him.

James felt like he might throw up.

His heartbeat thundered in his ears, and his hands fidgeted with the hem of his robes as he quickly looked away. In fact, he didn’t just look away; he turned his entire body in the opposite direction, hoping to mask the flush rising to his cheeks.

“C’mon, James, you’ve got a Quidditch game to win today! Channel all that anger you’ve got towards Laurier into winning us the Cup!” Sirius said, clapping a hand on James’s shoulder with his trademark grin.

James gave a faint nod, trying to let Sirius’s words sink in. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but he had to admit—focusing on Quidditch might be better than brooding.

As the match began, Sirius’s advice started to help. Flying through the air, the roar of the crowd, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins almost made him forget the mess he was tangled in. Quidditch always had a way of making the weight on his shoulders feel lighter.

Almost.

At first, he wasn’t paying much attention to the game. His mind wandered back to you, back to everything that had gone wrong. He thought about what he would say, how he could even begin to fix things. And, like always, he couldn’t resist scanning the crowd for you.

Even in the middle of a fight, even when he swore to himself that he was done, James always looked for you in the stands.

And he found you—right where he didn’t want to.

You were sitting with Finn Laurier, your hand clasped in his. James’s stomach twisted painfully at the sight, and he forced himself to look away, though the image burned into his mind.

Of course. Finn fucking Laurier.

He sighed, his grip tightening on his broomstick. There was no point in hoping anymore. Whatever chance he’d had—if he’d ever had one—was gone now. Maybe he’d already been downgraded in your life: a friend at best, a stranger at worst. The thought stung, and James shoved it down, refusing to dwell on it any longer.

And then, something golden caught the corner of his eye.

The Snitch.

For the first time all game, James’s focus snapped into place. He leaned forward on his broom, his heart pounding—not from heartbreak this time, but from the sheer rush of competition. If nothing else, he could still win this. He could still bring home the Cup.

James shot after the Snitch with everything he had, the rush of wind against his face only fueling his determination. The crowd roared, but their voices blurred into the background. His world narrowed to one thing: the golden glimmer darting just ahead.

The Hufflepuff Seeker was hot on his trail, but James barely registered them. This was his moment. The Snitch veered sharply to the right, and James followed, his reflexes razor-sharp. He could feel the weight of his emotions—anger, heartbreak, frustration—all pouring into this chase.

The Snitch dipped low, skimming just above the grass, and James dove after it, his fingers outstretched. The Hufflepuff Seeker was closing in fast, but James didn’t care. He pushed his broom harder, faster, his body leaning forward so much it felt like he might fall off.

And then, his fingers closed around the Snitch.

The Gryffindor stands erupted into cheers, deafening and jubilant. The sound echoed across the pitch as James pulled up, the Snitch held high in triumph. For the first time all week, a genuine smile broke across his face.

He’d done it.

Back on the ground, his teammates swarmed him, yelling and celebrating as they lifted him off the ground in a flurry of hugs and pats on the back. Sirius was the loudest, of course, laughing as he shouted, “That’s my best mate! Did you see that dive? Bloody brilliant!”

James grinned, allowing himself to soak in the moment. But as the initial adrenaline rush faded, his thoughts drifted back to you.

Through the crowd, he spotted you walking toward the castle with Laurier. You looked happy—laughing at something Finn said, your hand still in his.

James’s chest tightened, the pain creeping back in.

Sirius slung an arm around his shoulders. “Oi, don’t let that git ruin your moment. You just won us the Cup, Prongs. Focus on that, yeah?”

James forced a nod, plastering a smile on his face. “Yeah. You’re right.”

But deep down, as the team carried him back to the common room, the ache lingered. Winning the match had been a distraction, but it wasn’t enough to erase what he felt for you—or the sting of seeing you with someone else.

Still, James promised himself one thing: he’d get through this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. And who knew? Maybe, someday, you’d see him the way he saw you.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

The Gryffindor common room was a chaotic blur of red and gold, filled with triumphant cheers and laughter. The moment the team returned from the pitch, the party was already in full swing. Someone had charmed a banner to flash "Gryffindor Wins the Cup!" in shimmering letters, and butterbeer bottles floated around the room, courtesy of a cheeky charm from Sirius.

James stood in the center of it all, grinning as his teammates and housemates patted him on the back and congratulated him. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to bask in the glory of the victory, letting it drown out the knot in his chest. He’d won the game, and Gryffindor had the Cup—he deserved to enjoy it.

“Prongs!” Sirius yelled over the noise, shoving a butterbeer into his hand. “You’re the man of the hour! You better milk this for all it’s worth, because Merlin knows you deserve it.”

James laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t let me hear you say that too often, Padfoot. I might start believing it.”

Sirius gave him a devilish grin. “Oh, you will. Now, c’mon, let’s make some noise!” He climbed onto a table, raising his bottle high. “To Prongs, our Quidditch hero!”

The room erupted in cheers, and James couldn’t help but laugh, taking a sip of his butterbeer as the noise washed over him. For the first time all day, he felt lighter.

As the party went on, James moved through the crowd, chatting and laughing with his housemates. But no matter how loud the celebration got, his eyes kept drifting to the door, half-hoping, half-dreading to see you walk in.

And then, you did.

James froze mid-conversation, his heart doing that familiar stutter-step it always did when he saw you. You looked radiant, wrapped in Gryffindor colors, your cheeks flushed from the cold. But his chest tightened when he noticed Laurier trailing behind you, his hand resting casually on the small of your back.

James quickly turned back to his conversation, forcing a smile and pretending not to notice. He wasn’t going to let Finn Laurier—or his own stupid feelings—ruin the night.

“Oi, Prongs,” Sirius said, appearing at his side again. “Stop moping and do something fun. We just won the bloody Cup, mate! At least pretend you’re having the time of your life.”

James forced another grin. “I am having fun, Padfoot. Loads of fun.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “You’re staring at her again, aren’t you?”

“I’m not,” James lied, taking a long sip of butterbeer.

Sirius groaned, grabbing James by the shoulders. “Look, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to stop torturing yourself, and you’re going to have a bloody fantastic time tonight. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll prank Laurier so hard he won’t know which way is up. Deal?”

James couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking his head. “Alright, deal.”

Hours later, the party was still going strong. Someone had turned the music up, and the common room had transformed into a dance floor. James found himself dragged into the middle of it by Lily Evans, who gave him a pointed look.

“Stop sulking, Potter,” she said, smirking. “You just won the Cup. Act like it.”

“I’m not sulking,” James said, though his half-hearted smile gave him away.

Lily raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further. Instead, she tugged him into the rhythm of the music, and for a while, James let himself get lost in the moment.

It wasn’t until he caught sight of you again, laughing at something Laurier said, that the knot in his chest returned. He took a deep breath, plastered on another smile, and decided that, for tonight, he’d keep pretending.

He watched you from across the room as you and Laurier continued talking, laughter bubbling between you two. He could see the way you looked at him now—so different from the way you looked at him before. It was like there was a barrier, a wall that hadn’t been there when he first met you.

“Prongs,” Sirius appeared at his side again, his voice low and concerned. “Look, I know you’ve been through a lot, but this is ridiculous. You’re letting Laurier ruin your night—and you just won us the Cup, for Merlin’s sake. You’re allowed to be happy tonight. So go talk to her. If you don’t, I swear I’ll do it for you.”

James frowned at him, irritated. “I’m not talking to her, Pads. Not now.”

“Then at least get out of here and enjoy yourself,” Sirius pressed. “We’re celebrating, mate. You’ve earned it.”

James looked over at you one more time, and for a second, he almost gave in. But the knot in his chest was still there, tightly wound, and it made everything feel so much harder than it should’ve been.

But maybe... maybe he could find a way to feel better. Maybe he could lose himself in the celebration.

“I’ll think about it,” he finally muttered, glancing at his friends.

Sirius didn’t seem convinced but let out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine, but I’m not letting you go off and brood in some corner. The whole bloody school’s celebrating with you tonight.”

James smirked faintly, feeling a little lighter. Maybe he could pretend to be okay, at least for tonight. He could let the victory, the laughter, and his friends drown out the ache for just a little while longer.

But as the night continued, and as the music played on, James found himself once again looking toward the doorway, hoping—just hoping—that you’d look his way.

For the first time in forever, the world was finally on his side as he saw you quickly leaving Finn and walking straight to him.

“May I speak to you, please?” James nodded, Dumbfounded. 

You quickly grabbed his hand and went outside the common room and into the corridors. 

You took a deep breath, your fingers twisting nervously. “James… I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now.”

James’s throat went dry, his pulse quickening as he struggled to find his voice. “Yeah?”

You nodded, glancing down at your hands before meeting his gaze. “I—I’m sorry.”

That wasn’t what he had expected. Of all the scenarios he’d played out in his head, an apology hadn’t been one of them.

“For what?” he asked, genuine confusion coloring his voice.

“For everything,” you said in a rush, your words tumbling out before you could stop them. “For avoiding you. I was confused—about what I did that made you ignore me. And I guess I wanted to get back at you for ignoring me, so I decided to do the same to you. And… I’m sorry for whatever happened between us that made things so weird.”

James stared at you, your vulnerability hitting him like a Bludger to the chest. His heart ached at the uncertainty in your voice.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said quickly, shaking his head.

“Yes, I do,” you insisted, your voice firm despite the tears welling in your eyes.

“No, you don’t,” James countered, his tone soft yet resolute. “It’s not fair to put all of this on yourself. You’ve always been there for me, and I—well, I’ve been a terrible friend lately. I was practically acting like you didn’t exist.”

James faltered when he saw the blank expression on your face. Panic flickered in his chest—had he said too much?

But before he could say anything more, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him.

“Oh, James,” you murmured into his shoulder. “It’s okay. I—I was acting like you didn’t exist too, but only because you were doing it to me.”

He blinked, caught off guard, before slowly relaxing into the hug. He looked down at you, his hand instinctively reaching up to brush away a stray tear trailing down your cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

You shook your head, a small, watery smile breaking through. “We’re both sorry. Let’s just… not do this anymore, okay?”

James nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Deal.”

“It feels so much better having my best friend around again.” James’ smile faltered again, he never liked the word “best friend” when it came to you, he always wanted more.

“Definitely”

You two let each other talk for what felt like hours even though it was barely fifteen minutes. He enjoyed every second though, until you brought up Finn and future plans they may include him. He couldn't believe it, when had your parents met his? He remembers your dad telling him how much he was rooting you and him to be together, now he's okay with you dating some other dude? And worst of all, your father was okay with that same dude wanting to marry his daughter? James felt like throwing up.

“Then he said that my father laid it out on a silver platter.”

“Laid... what out on a platter?”

“My future! Gave him the blessing to...to propose. I don't know what to do.”

“You told me you don’t mind being married straight after Hogwarts if you truly loved the man. That being a wife and mother... is your dream. Finn is.. nice, and both of your guys’ parents are supportive. I don't understand. What's holding you back?”

“Just… one thing.”

“What am I supposed to do? Everyone else is just... moving on, and now you’re... and I’m still... We never even... And he’s there, and you’re—Merlin, you’re never going to find someone who—” James stopped, his voice cracking. “I know that much, so how... how am I supposed to... I can’t... I— We...”

Before you could speak–a drunk Sirius somehow found you two. “Woah James you're really speaking to her? Atta boy, now, let's get back to the party, cmon, we are going to do something cool, have you heard of ....” Sirius rambled on, tugging on James’ arm to drag him back to the party.

“I’ll be off, then.” You said, voice quivering as if hesitant to leave.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

All James could think about was the previous night—the talk you two had shared. Your words, your voice, the hesitation in your eyes—it all replayed in his mind like a haunting melody. What would’ve happened if Sirius hadn’t barged in, if James had told him to leave, if he’d been brave enough to stay in that moment with you?

“I think…” James began, his voice breaking as he paced the Gryffindor dormitory, “I think she might’ve been asking if I love her. And—and I think I told her to marry someone else.”

Sirius, slouched in the chair by the window, looked stricken. “Mate…” he started, his tone heavy with guilt. “If I’d known—if I knew what was happening—I wouldn’t have gone looking for you. I—I practically ruined your chances. Merlin, I’m so, so sorry.”

James stopped pacing, running a hand through his already-messy hair. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t even know if she meant it. She said so much without really saying anything, and now I don’t know if I imagined it all.”

“‘Sure, take option two,’ when option one is all she wants for her future?” James muttered, his voice thick with frustration.

“What is option one?” Peter asked, his curiosity breaking the tension.

James scoffed, bitterness creeping into his tone. “It’s Finn, obviously.” He paused, his anger flaring. “But both their parents support it, and she told me that! Before she spilled all of that on me, we were talking and laughing like nothing was wrong. But now…” He exhaled sharply, his voice softening as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “Now it feels like I’m being asked to explain the rest of my life on a bloody ticking clock. And if I make the wrong decision, I’ve either ruined my life—or hers.”

The room fell silent. Sirius and Peter exchanged uneasy glances, while Remus seemed lost in thought, unsure of how to respond.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Meanwhile, you had confided in your mother about your plans the night before: to finally tell the man you truly loved how you felt. You hadn’t wanted to bring it up while you and James were laughing and enjoying each other’s company, but you knew if you didn’t seize the moment, you’d never say it at all.

What you hadn’t expected was for him to turn you down. To tell you—calmly, almost dismissively—that you should marry Finn.

Your mother was waiting for your response. You knew she expected good news, a letter confirming that you and James were finally together. Instead, you sat at your desk, penning words that left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Dear Mother,

I did what you told me to do, but I fear I shouldn’t have. We were talking just fine, and then I told him everything. I told him how I felt. And he told me to marry Finn.

Finn is lovely, yes—but he’s not James. I asked James if there was any chance for us, and he said no. At least now I have clarity on where I stand with him. And I know it sounds awful to compare Finn to James, but... maybe knowing what I know now, I can learn to be happy with Finn. Father and Finn’s family are all thrilled, after all. I don’t even want to think about what I would’ve done if James had said he felt the same.

You sighed, folding the parchment carefully and sealing it in an envelope. The weight of your words sat heavily on your chest, but you couldn’t dwell on them any longer. You needed to send this letter immediately.

Pulling on your cloak, you found yourself heading for one of the secret passages to Hogsmeade—the ones you and James had used so often. The memories stung, but you pushed them aside. This time, you’d be using the passage alone.

The quickest way to deliver your letter was through the owlery. You knew exactly which owl was the fastest.

As you walked, you let your mind wander to James one last time, allowing yourself the quiet ache of what could’ve been. You would never speak to him again, not like before. That part of your life was over.

Finn was your future now. And while it hurt to admit, deep down, you knew it was for the best.

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[yawneon]

how i look at my screen after y/n just got called kitten/puppy/bunny

[l0velysmut]

family: “why are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?”

me who’s been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

[little-riddles]

hope | two

pairing: sirius black x female!potter!reader word count: 4.2k warnings: none

past | masterlist | next

it was a quiet, cold morning in september when james potter awoke to the screaming match coming from down the corridor from him, which seemed to be happening more and more frequently the closer they got to his sister attending hogwarts. he recalled a previous argument after his sister discovered she wouldn't be able to bring her broomstick to Hogwarts.

"what do you mean i can't bring mine with me? why can james then?" an enraged y/n shouted as she flew down from where she and her brother had been playing with a quaffle they'd found in the shed.

"first years can't bring their own brooms. it says so in your acceptance letter if you'd dare to read past the first two sentences." fleamont rolled his eyes, not looking up from reading his newspaper to see the anger written across his daughter's face.

"but that's not fair. i should've been a second-year at this point, so why can't i be the exception?" y/n threw her broom to the ground, regretting it immediately as she heard the snap of the handle.

"childish behaviour exactly like this is exactly why you won't be taking your broomstick to hogwarts. end of discussion." their father didn't break eye contact with his newspaper as he broke the girl's dreams.

"ugh! this is so unfair!" y/n stormed back through the conservatory door, her stomping on the stairs being heard loud and clear from the garden.

"and she wonders why she's going into first and not second year." fleamont scoffed, taking a sip of his cup of tea.

james sighed and pushed himself out of the comfort of his bed, stumbling down the corridor to find his sister's bedroom in tatters as her trunk still remained half-packed with her robes and textbooks. their father stood beside her trunk holding a familiar creature by its tail as a waterfall of the silverware of the house fell in a heap on the floor. with one final shake, their mother's engagement ring finally fell at the peak of the pile.

"i knew you were stealing, you little rat." fleamont gritted his teeth as he dropped the animal without a care for its health and plucked the ring from the scatterings of her floor.

"dad, he just likes shiny things. you know this." y/n whined, scooping up the niffler from the heap he'd left him in and shushing him and Jamie whined in her arms. "and you didn't need to shake him like that. he would've handed it over if you asked nicely. i trained him to."

"i don't care if you think you've trained him, that thing is out of control." he hissed, snapping his fingers for a house elf to come and clear away the silverware."ribly! coopey!"

ribly appeared in the room, followed by coopey, james' personal house-elf, who ran towards james with a familiar envelope in his hands. the lettering of his name was near perfect, a clear sign of the hands of sirius black.

"this one just arrived for you, master james." coopey didn't wait long before he swept up the silverware into a sack and snapped back out of the room with ribly following suit.

"dad, i can keep him in control. he's just bored." y/n sat on her unmade bed, a sign that she had not long woken from her slumber.

"bored?" fleamont asked incredulously, sweeping past his son with a quirked eyebrow. "if he's bored then let him free."

"but he's never been outside before. what will he do if he gets hungry or gets cold?" y/n cuddled the niffler closer to her chest and he, in turn, cuddled his snout against her chin.

"he's an animal, y/n. he'll be fine." he said, finally turning to assess the damage done to his daughter's room. "clean up in here. we'll be leaving early in the morning for king's cross. i don't want to have to clean up after that creature as well as you when we return."

"but i thought jamie was coming with me? professor dumbledore agreed that i could." y/n stood from her bed, already reaching for the parchment that said the same thing.

"i don't care what dumbledore has said, you're not taking him with you." fleamont sighed, on his last straw with his daughter at this point.

"but, dad." y/n pouted, already knowing that she couldn't fight her father on this. "he'll be good. i'll make sure of it. you'll never even know he was there with me. n'll even-"

"y/n cordelia potter! you are not taking that creature with you to hogwarts and that is final!" fleamont slammed the door behind him with such a harsh tug that it rattled the paintings plastering her bedroom walls.

y/n glared at the floor angrily, her hands shaking as she tried to soothe the shivering niffler in her arms. tears streamed down her face as she refused to look into the pitying eyes of her brother who remained motionless by her bedroom door.

"i just wanted to have a friend at hogwarts." she sniffled, standing to put jamie back into his cage.

"but you'll have me, and the boys. and i'm sure lily and the others will accept you into their group." james came to sit on his sister's bed, hugging one of her stuffed animals to his chest.

"but i'm not going to be in your year, jamie." y/n huffed, throwing her clothes that had become her carpet over the past few days into her laundry basket. "i might not even be in your house."

"what are you talking about, y/n/n? of course, you're going to be in gryffindor." james scoffed.

"but what if i'm not? what if i'm sorted into hufflepuff, or ravenclaw, or even slytherin? i couldn't face mum and dad if i was a slytherin." she shuddered at the thought of the disgust in her parent's eyes if she returned for the holidays.

"well, just tell the hat just that then. just say not slytherin. anything but slytherin." james grinned at his sister, remembering uttering the exact same words just last year.

"and it'll listen to me?" y/n huffed, lifting her head from where she'd been buried in the mass of clothes.

"it will if you actually make it to hogwarts and don't get suffocated to death by all of your clothes." their mother's voice carried through the open doorway she'd popped her head through. "i heard your father yelling. you okay, dear?"

"i'm okay, mum." y/n stared longingly at the sulking niffler in the corner of his cage. "i'm just going to miss jamie whilst i'm at hogwarts."

"you know why he can't go with you, dear. he would just cause too much chaos. it's bad enough with the amount that your brother and his friends cause." euphemia gave her son a pointed stare before starting to close the door behind her. "clean up in here, dinner will be ready soon."

silence once again fell over the room, only the sounds of y/n slowly moving her laundry basket out of the corner of the room where a mountain of clothes was beginning to pile up again. james couldn't help but feel sympathetic for his sister, knowing how much comfort the niffler had brought her whilst he had been away at hogwarts and she had been stuck in a muggle hospital. an idea sprung to his head as jamie's black eyes stared longingly at the freedom of the newly cleared space in Isobel's room.

"does dad actually know which of the nifflers he is?" james tilted his head, approaching the creature to look for any distinguishable features.

y/n could only shake her head as her brother took jamie out of the cage to inspect him closer. his black fur was the same as the rest of his litter, his beady eyes holding just the same amount of mischief as his siblings.

"i don't see any reason for junior not to be replaced by one of the smaller nifflers in the garden whilst you're away." james set the creature back down on top of his cage.

y/n couldn't hold back her grin as she realised how genius her brother's idea was, already knowing which niffler would be the perfect replacement to trick their father. the twins shared a grin as they knew they were going to get away with the mischief.

————— how exactly y/n had managed to both over and under sleep her alarm for the morning had amazed her. she'd spent the rest of the evening before wrangling one of the nifflers from the garden, tommy, into the cage in her bedroom whilst her brother had hidden the real jamie in his owl's cage shrouded in his invisibility cloak. after the excitement had worn off from the acts of mischief, she had collapsed on her bed, forgetting to close her curtains before the sun had begun to rise that morning.

"y/n/n! are you nearly ready?" james knocked tentatively on his sister's door, scared of the chaos that must be going on inside the quiet room. "y/n/n! dad said if you're not downstairs in ten minutes, he's leaving without you!"

y/n shot up from her bed and raced to change into the outfit ribly had steamed and pressed for her the day before. her eyes caught the owl cage she'd been forced to buy sitting in the corner of her room and lugged the heavy metal out into the corridor, where ribly snapped into existence before leaving once more with the cage in tow.

"mum! where's my wand?" y/n rifled through her chest of drawers, remembering having left the wooden stick somewhere in there. "i can't find it anywhere!"

"miss y/n left this in the kitchens. miss y/n must hurry before she is late." ribly hurried into the room, holding out the light-coloured wand in her hands before picking up y/n's trunk and snapping back out of the room.

y/n sighed in relief as she pocketed the wand into her jacket pocket and picked up the final bag from her side table, picking up the worn journal that fell from the bag in her haste. the tattered leather journal held many memories of her childhood, some being the happiest times of her life, but most being the darkest secrets that not even her brother had ever heard. she sighed as she shoved the journal into the depths of her bag for her to deal with at a later date.

"y/n/n, dear. don't forget to close jamie's cage before we leave." euphemia popped her head around the corner, seeing her daughter already closing the door with a note attached to it to remind her parents and ribly when and what to feed the niffler whilst she was gone.

"yes, mum. i was just making sure he had enough food and water until you and dad were back." y/n grinned mischievously at the niffler, tommy, in the cage.

"well, do hurry up. your father is already in the car with the engine running." euphemia rolled her eyes at her husband's antics.

"yes, mum." y/n skipped out of her room, trailing after her mother as they walked down the stairs and out onto the gravel drive. "dad! did ribly bring you my trunk and owl?"

"yes, now get in the car." he nodded his head to where james was already knocked out asleep in the backseat of the car, his owl cage slotted between their seats. "muggle rush hour will make us late at this rate."

"why don't we just fly then? we'll surely be on time if we're not stuck in queues the whole way there." y/n shrugged, her bag dropping to a heap at her feet.

"you know how your mother gets about us being seen." fleamont rolled his eyes, sharing a tired smile with his daughter.

"she'd be even more unamused if we're late though, dad." james groggily said, having been woken by the conversation.

"that is true, dear. i say as long as we don't go the route you took us last time, we can fly and get something to eat from the muggle bakery at the station when we arrive. how about it kids?" euphemia grinned, setting her purse on her lap as they pulled out of the driveway.

"only if i can get the chocolate muffins they had last time." y/n grinned, her stomach already grumbling at the thought of the gooey inside of the freshly baked muffin she was going to receive at the end journey.

"fine. but don't come writing to me and complain about the sugar crash you'll have on the train." euphemia huffed, settling down in her dear.

"no, she'll just come and whine to me about it instead," james grumbled, before immediately snoring as he closed his eyes once more.

"i loath you." y/n hissed at her brother jokingly, huffing as she caught the smirk that graced his face in his sleep.

y/n too slowly drifted off to sleep to the sounds of her parents conversing over their neighbour, mrs finchley's, dog who had been digging up their plants in the garden for the past few weeks. as she came to once again, she found that they were just flying into the country lanes that they often used as a way to transition from flying to driving once more. streams of green slowly turned to grey and red as they entered the main roads that the muggles used.

"how much longer, dad?" y/n yawned.

"with the rate of these stupid muggles, another half an hour, sweets." fleamont sighed, clearly already bored of waiting in this queue.

y/n only hummed as she looked out of the window, seeing a family similar to their own, squashed into the small black car. two young girls were squashed into the backseat, whilst the mother of the family, being asleep like y/n's own brother, had claimed the front seat by their father. the children were bickering over something that seemed to be irritating the owls in the middle of them as they fluttered, irritated in their cages.

y/n couldn't help but giggle, having been reminded of the times their mother was caught in the middle of an argument between their father and james, a very similar grumpy expression on her face as she tried to enjoy the tea that ribly had made fresh for them all. it was only as she saw the car was actually floating slightly, that y/n realised that they were a wizard family (if the owl cages and father's robes hadn't already given away the fact).

"dad! they're floating!" y/n gasped, pointing their father in the direction of the car that had come to a complete stop beside them.

"oh, anderson. what are you thinking?" fleamont sighed, rolling down his window before shouting across the space between the cars. "oi! geoffrey! you might wanna fully turn off the flying engine. muggles are sure to notice a floating car on the motorway!"

"oh, fleamont! cheers, mate!" mr anderson clearly was unphased by the faulty engine of his car, used to it falling short often. "this stupid crap bucket is definitely on its last legs, ay?"

"mum, who is that?" y/n whispered, having never heard her father never heard of a man named geoffrey or anderson.

"mr anderson, he used to work with your father as an auror in the ministry before your father moved departments," euphemia whispered with a smile.

y/n glanced back over to the small black car, only to find it gone. she pouted as she realised she probably wouldn't ever be able to get to know the two girls from the vehicle. they were probably in differing years to her, or at least different houses. the car began to move forward, driving them off the main road and towards the centre of london.

before she knew it, they were pulling up in front of the station, james already leaping out of the car as he spotted a lone sirius standing waiting for him by the main entrance to king's cross. the boy had been long left by his parents, who had walked his younger brother, regulus, all the way to the platform to see him off that morning. y/n rolled her eyes at the sight of the two animatedly talking about their summer, already starting to walk through the entrance of the station without waiting for the rest of the potters to follow.

"james!" fleamont shouted, popping the boot of the car. "your bags?"

james smiled sheepishly at his father, shuffling back over quickly to where fleamont was glaring at him.

"sorry, dad," James smirked at the floor, wrestled his trunk out of the boot and sprinted over to where the luggage trolleys were to grab two. "here, y/n/n. put your trunk and winnie's cage on here."

y/n grabbed both of her trunks and winnie's cage and placed them on top of each other on the trolley. she sighed as she looked up at the clock above the station entrance, pouting as she realised they wouldn't have enough time to stop off at the muggle bakery like her mother had promised. the quartet walked back over to where Sirius had been awkwardly waiting for james to return to his side.

"hello, potters," sirius smirked his signature smile, hasting his pace as they walked through the station towards platforms 9 and 10.

"hello, dear. have your parents already gone through with regulus?" euphemia struggled to keep up with her husband's hastened step in her kitten heels.

"yes, we got here extra early so that regulus could be treated to whatever he wanted from the muggle bakery." sirius rolled his eyes at his parent's clear favouritism.

y/n grumbled under her breath about not having gotten the same opportunity as sirius' younger brother before she giggled to herself at his matching grumpy face.

"ah! mini potter. you ready to finally become a hogwarts student." sirius winked down at her, having grown since she last saw him during the summer break.

"y-yeah." y/n turned shy, an irregularity to her usually bubbly demeanour. "i'm just worried about the sorting ceremony."

"don't worry, me and your brother will be cheering you on when you get sorted. hopefully into gryffindor." sirius winked once more, before running to catch up with the male potters as they had already reached the barrier to the station.

"c'mon, hurry up!" fleamont waved his arm, pushing james and sirius through the barrier one after the other. "train leaves in ten!"

"coming, dad!" y/n grinned, running straight past her father and pushing her trolley straight through the barrier.

she stopped in awe as the ruby-red train finally came into view in front of her. she hadn't gotten a good view of the train when she'd picked james up, having only seen the carriages in her brief visit before. a sense of pride filled her as she saw the hogwarts crest on the side of the train, a grin filling her face.

"y/n, why don't you hand your father your bags? he can get them sorted onto the train for you." euphemia said, already pushing fleamont to carry the heavy trunks over to the train workers who easily lifted them up onto the train.

james and sirius joined the pair, followed by their father who was wringing out his hands from carrying the bags a short distance.

"oh, my dears." euphemia already had tears in her eyes, though her sentiment was cut short as the train conductor announced the train would be leaving in five minutes. "well, you lot better be off then."

"see you at christmas, potters," sirius said to the purebloods before stepping back to allow the family to bid their farewells.

at the sight of her daughter ready to leave the coup and join james, euphemia sobbed and pulled them both in for a bone-crushing hug.

"mum!" the two groaned.

"we going to hogwarts, not going off to war." james rolled his eyes as he freed himself from his mother.

"i can't help it." euphemia wipes her tears away. "my babies are growing up and there's nothing i can do about it."

"well see you at christmas, mum. it's not too long." y/n smiled up at her mother.

"i know, y/n." euphemia patted her head softly. "now, remember what i told you last night. no pranking anyone. not even each other. that's especially to you y/n."

sirius and james stifled a chuckle with a cough as they knew that they were both not going to be following their mother's orders.

"that goes for you too, sirius. i want no letters from dumbledore explaining how you managed to blow up yet another toilet." euphemia sternly spoke, smiling as she knew that both of her kids weren't going to listen to her. "oh, why am i even saying this? you're all going to be in detention nearly every day anyway."

"you know us so well, mum." james smiled cheekily along with his sister.

"just have fun, okay?" euphemia asked, pulling them in for another hug.

"okay." y/n nodded, turning back to father. "see you at christmas, dad."

the pair waved off their parents as their trunks and cages were taken off of them by the train crew. y/n smiled widely as she was finally able to step foot on the very same train she had watched her brother leave on this time last year.

"sirius and i are going to find remus and peter in a compartment. are you alright to find somewhere to sit?" james asked his sister, helping her up into the train carriage.

"yeah." y/n nodded, though she was shyly looking down the hallway for someone who looked to be a first-year as well.

"i'll see you in the great hall later on, okay y/n/n?" james asked one last time.

"ok, now go before sirius or someone comes to find you again." y/n giggled, shoving her brother in the direction that the raven-haired boy had wandered off in.

as she found herself in the train corridor, y/n watched older students greet their friends and enter compartments together. she longed for a friend in her year to stick by in times like these. she walked in the opposite direction than where her brother had gone, finding that most compartments were already filled with students, many years her senior. she passed by one more compartment before she stumbled upon five girls who looked her age.

"hi. umm. there are no other compartments left. can i sit here with you?" y/n shuffled her feet nervously.

"sure." The ginger girl smiled, patting the seat beside her. "i'm grace-aoife young. but just call me grace, most people can't pronounce my full name."

"i'm y/n, potter." she shyly shook her hand.

"i'm josie thomas." josephine grinned broadly, her dimples showing as she moved along the seat to allow room for the brunette girl. "i think i know your brother. he's in the same year as my brother."

"scott?" y/n asked with a tilted head, recognizing the last name.

"yeah! this is so great that we're both in each other's years." josephine laughed, turning her head to the other side of the compartment.

"it's you! from the station last year!" the first twin, said in wonder, nudging her sister to look up from her journal, an identical look of shock on her face as well.

"hi." Isobel waved shyly, remembering the awkward interaction between their parents that had ended their conversation abruptly last time.

"i'm heather." said the first blonde twin who sat closest to the compartment door with a journal-type book in front of her.

"i'm holly." the other blonde twin said, reading the book that her sister had set down between them.

"i told you she wasn't lying." heather pushed her sibling, finally looking past her shoulder to spot the ginger-haired girl in the corner buried deep in her book.

"oi, michelle. you gonna talk or is that book more interesting than our company?" heather grinned, her sharp canines showing under her gums.

"oh, sorry." michelle smiled sheepishly, closing her book. "i'm trying to finish this book that my brother gave me before we get to Hogwarts."

"what book is it?" y/n asked, trying to get a sneak peek at the cover.

"magical theory by adalbert waffling," michelle replied, setting the book into her bag by her feet.

"i haven't even touched any of my books yet." grace rolled her eyes, grabbing some coins out of her coat pocket.

"at least you're not being forced to read them." michelle rolled her eyes, sinking back into her seat.

"you're definitely going to be in ravenclaw with that brain of yours." holly teased, also grabbing coins out of her pocket as the trolley rolled past.

"anything from the trolley dears?" the trolley lady asked the six girls.

the girls began to list off the sweet treats they were craving as they spotted the fully stocked cart before them. the lady passed all of the sweets over to the girls, who all smiled and ripped into the packaging before she had even wheeled away. it was silent in the compartment for a few seconds, before each of the girls began to share their sweets among themselves. and that was how the train journey remained all the way to hogwarts, with a new friendship blossoming between the first years.

[colmiillo]

I'm not just a bitch, I'm a bitch with a backstory

[thatboisus]

“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.