#and that since other kinds of friendships are shown and shown positively i dont even think its meant as like every friendship should be THIS

[mossiestpiglet]

chewing the walls about the way sunakawa reacts to the ogre story btw like. everyone else sees what the blue ogre did as this unbelievably selfless tragic sacrifice, to leave his home and only friend so that that friend could have the happiness he wanted. but not suna, OF COURSE not suna whose concept of friendship is entirely based around how he feels for takeo. to him, it’s only natural to make a choice like that. it’s the only choice that would make sense.

Who wouldn’t change the entire course of their own life to make their friend happy? That’s just how friendship works guys

[captaindarksword]

I have to be frank the whole how could you be against korrasami its the only same sex ship in lok or the first canon same sex ship involving mc’s kind of shows to me that they understand on a deep level that korrasami was badly written that it had no buildup.

since they have to rely on the uniqueness ( the fact there wasnt a same sex ship involving a mc before)

to try and deflect criticism . when the fact its the only canon same sex ship in lok and the first canon same sex ship  involving mc is irrelevant for its a forced ship that shouldnt have happened . 

If i were to make one wish  to change lok it would be the last minute retcon korrasami didnt happen because the fact that its the first canon same sex ship involving mc should not be the reason why people support it.

korra nd asami were barely friends they barely interacted with each other censorship doesnt explain what happened with them. and korrasami shippers just took any positive interaction between them and claimed it was evidence and they take any moment and over play/hype/exaggerate along with infusing headcanons as if they were fact.

1. I recall someone claiming that korra chose asami to help her in b3 when nothing shows that 

2. they claimed that korra sent asami multiple letters when its implied its only one letter

3/ they pretend that korra sending asami a letter (she wouldnt have read the letter asami sent back so it would be more like korra venting in a letter which is easier to do then talking one to one .(from experience )  ) means asami is closer to her than the others when it doesnt . people can say stuff to someone they arent as close to because they felt that they would understand better saw an example of this from an anon on a different post,  or they didnt 

4. asami has never shown the ability to support korra the way she needed to tenzin and mako have heck in remembrances asami the one moment we had to see her try and support korra she failed she went youre the avatar of course we need you while tenzin succeded by bringing up korra as a person and mako got a whole speech about how he feels about korra the person. and cares about korra who she is and wouldnt bring up korra being the avatar as why he needs korra.

and  mako supported korra the way she needed to when she went off to confront zaheer and given their personalities mako would be the only one who would have done this

6. korra and asami barely interacted in b4 censorship doesnt explain that

7.  people try to go if it was a het ship you would see it when no ,  if korra/asami was a guy no one would ship korrasami, while people wouldship makorra even if one of  them were genderbent.

8.    on the blush that isnt romantic evidence she blushed at bolin complimenting her as well and she didnt have romantic feelings for him ( she was just in a sad/negative state

at best you could say maybe male asami hada crush on korra ( since with friendships between men and women dont really include compliments while two girls being friends can compliment each others appearance without it being romantic. while if two guys did that people would make gay jokes while two girls complimenting each others looks is considered normal.

( guys tend to avoid being too intimate/close with their guy friends do to not wanting to be seen as gay 

while two girls being friends dont have this problem

 alot of people ignore that to just go if one of them was gender swapped

“You can’t just port the actions of a female character over to her Rule 63 equivalent without alteration and expect it to mean anything.  Male!Asami never would have been helping Korra get dressed in the first place, and he probably wouldn’t have gotten a letter, either.  And portraying platonic male-female friendships without romantic undertones is a ridiculous tightwalk that doesn’t allow for compliments about appearance in the way female-female friendships do.

You can’t just port the actions of a female character over to her Rule 63 equivalent without alteration and expect it to mean anything.  Male!Asami never would have been helping Korra get dressed in the first place, and he probably wouldn’t have gotten a letter, either.  And portraying platonic male-female friendships without romantic undertones is a ridiculous tightwalk that doesn’t allow for compliments about appearance in the way female-female friendships do.

Build up requires, you know, building up.  Korra and Asami only had personal conversations in eight episodes out of the 26 that made up Books 3 and 4, and their amount of direct conversation tanked between the two Books, with Book 3’s five direct plot-related conversations dropping to zero in Book 4.  Since episodes with group conversations held steady at two, that means that episodes with any conversations between the two at all dropped from 11 to 6.  That’s… basically the opposite of buildup.  (And, for reference, Book 1 had nine episodes that dealt with Mako and Korra’s relationship directly, which is more than Korra and Asami had in both Books 3 and 4.)

If the show wanted to portray Asami as Korra’s closest friend and confidant, it should have found a way to make it seem like Korra actually valued Asami as such instead of just having her react to Asami pushing to do stuff or help her in almost every instance.  =P  Male!Asami would have probably read as a pushy Nice Guy if things played out the same way.

K/A wasn’t intended to salvage the show, no (and Bryke didn’t seem to want to continue past Book 4 anyway).  Given Bryan’s post, it’s far more likely that it was intended to salvage Bryke’s conscience.

Shippers base speculation on ridiculously limited evidence regardless of gender, particularly when the characters involved are attractive.  That doesn’t mean that shows actually expect their viewers to see something like Kuvira and Tonraq looking at each other as romantic.  =P

“

9. to be frank if asami was a guy I doubt male asami would be the one to help korra get dressed given their lacking relationship

( dont give me but korrasami was more popular as an argument to it having evidence or being planned zutara was more popular then kataang.)

www . tumblr . com/ikkinthekitsune/146525844549/ive-just-been-thinking-lately-what-if-some-of

5. 

[hatgame]

UMUMUM *shakes sputters shakes sputters*

HI IM THAT ANON THAT REQUESTED U DRAW MOONJUMPER THAT ONE TIME *i still cry in happiness abt that everyday btw thank you!!!*

BUT UHH...CANN U TELL ME MORE ABT UR THOUGHTS ON SWEETENED DEAL? (Snatcher x Cooking Cat) I THINK ITS REALLY CUTE OKAY BYE THANK YOU! *peddles away on my Dora big wheel bike*

oh hello :) im glad you liked that drawing! & sure ^_^ glad you like it too

i commonly see it interpreted as snatcher n cc acting as hats parents and while that's sweet its not how i see it at all. i like them a lot more as her adult friends who take care of her every now and then but ultimately leave and trust her to handle her stuff, not taking that much responsibility. im not sure what thatd entail but older sibling snatcher (to hat) is kind of fun i guess. EMPRESS IS BOWS AUNT FOREVER THOUGH this im hellbent on.

ok i think i wanna talk about how ccs relationship w hat n snatcher developed. i always thought of cc as someone hat is the most verbal with, relying everything that's happened to her to him. while enthralled, proud and concerned, i dont think ccs that protective of her, hes shown to be much less responsible than people usually write her as tbh. she trusts hats capabilities n skills but still definitely recognizes that she is a child in need of support, and shes certainly warm and affectionate with her, but at the same time its not intruding or obligate, like a parents affection.

i think cc would be somewhat intrigued by what's up w snatcher because their behavior is so puzzling, probably especially so from hats retellings. once snatcher becomes a regular on hats ship (not his territory=cant assert hinself as much as he does in forest), where they probably meet, i dont think shed be intimidated at all, because i dont honestly think hed try to create that impression (it certainly didn't in the cut cafe scene. like, youd expect them to force someone to pay for them, but they're just kinda docile. they cant even get the people around them to answer their question lol)

i think snatchers like immediately completely pacified by ccs presence. i dont think theyd speak at all either. its lije those silent films where you have to rely on expressions and body language to tell what means what. its a little funny abd disarming because its clear they DO want to get something across, and thats a friendly gesture. it signals engagement abd cintact being established. snatcher would probably struggle with non scripted speech so this sort of communication would probably feel the least threatening. also would add to their already strange and interesting image in ccs mind

while idk how likely snatchers would be to actually do that ive been imagining him curling up in the pillows and napping only to wake up to cc sleeping either on top of or near them, since cuddle piles are probably common among cats + ccs impulsive. they probably would straight up forget to react. maybe they wake up to cc kneading them, make eye contact. one of them remembers cat social cues and slow blinks. other one slow blinks back. snatcher lies back down allowing itself to be kneaded. cc lies down on it. it changes position to be closer to it. not a single word said the whole time. its never brought up again but not forgotten.

uhh if they do eventually begin dating and hats there to witness it she probably wouldnt care much. bow would go awwwww Aawww though. mu is disappointed in ccs taste but probably warms up to snatcher eventually since they have a lot in common + snatcher mu friendship real and important to me

Ok this is not all but ill stop now. hope you enjoyed :) thank you for the ask. i really really loved dora the explorer as a kid

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

[littlemisslipbalm]

“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much 

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

-

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?” 

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.  

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

-

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?”  Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

-

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

-

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up’ and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

-

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

-

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

-

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.  

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of  how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,”  you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

-

[rynzii-419]

I’ve been reading about this study on psychology and it talked about this thing, “positive sentiment override” vs “negative sentiment override” and so, of course, I connected it to apologist discourse.

Bit of warning; this is going to talk about Dream in a negative light, and I’m going to reference Tommy and Wilbur in a positive light. The point of this is to show why I think common interpretations of Wilbur and Dream are exaggerated, and I try to talk about Wil critically too even though normally thats a bit harder for me, which is actually related to the psychology thing I’m gonna talk about here. So yeah, please read this if apologist discourse something you’re interested in! I try to make this readable and unbiased as best as I can. (I say this but the point here is to talk about misconceptions and exaggerations about Wilbur and Dream, meaning I say why I think Dream isn’t as deserving of forgiveness as the fandom treats him and Wilbur isn’t as deserving of the hate he gets, but I really feel like this one isn’t biased.)

Alright, first I want to explain positive sentiment override (im gonna abbreviate it to “pso”). Pso is something I see used on Dream a lot, where people will see someone do something negative and think “oh well they probably had a reasonable explanation for that”.

Negative sentiment override (nso) is what I see used on Wilbur (like all the time). This is where someone will do something even positive and people will look on with skepticism and think “that was manipulation.” (ex. The reaction to every conversation he’s had with ranboo)

While its great to look for reasoning behind a character’s actions, and great to have skepticism about a darker character’s motives, its also taken too far in these cases very often.

Okay here’s where I get a little critical of Dream. The reason that I believe he isn’t very deserving of this “benefit of the doubt” he gets so often is because:

He isn’t apologetic for any of his actions. Now, we could go back and forth all day on whether his treatment of L’manburg was right or not, but we all know that his behavior with Tommy in exile was wrong. The thing is that Dream doesn’t agree. He even says in the prison when Tommy got trapped in there, “this is gonna be so much fun, just like exile” (paraphrasing, im sorry </3). When a character shows no remorse for actions that are inherently evil (like theres no getting around that Dream in exile was evil), it makes me feel as if they cant be treated as if they’re redeemable. Of course, he could be redeemed, but i can’t see that happening to him until he apologizes to Tommy and Tubbo and distances himself from them entirely. The problem is that i don’t see that happening at this point.

He showed signs of being a bad person/friend before exile. Again, I’m actually not even going to address L’manburg because that’s something that people disagree on often, so here I’d rather talk about Sapnap and Dream’s relationship and why I believe that was very unhealthy. After Dream’s speech about Spirit and how he doesn’t care about anything other than the discs (and its implied that he really meant tommy but thats besides the point), Sapnap instantly took that as meaning Dream didn’t care about him. Now some people hear that as “Sapnap is such a bad friend, he immediately assumed the worst out of Dream, how could be be so rude?” What i see that as is a sign that Dream probably wasn’t a very good friend himself. I also had a situation similar to this, where i had a friend who was really trashy (but i didn’t realize at the time) and I was always scared that they would ditch me. A lot like Sapnap, I would ask “do you think they’ll leave me?” then go back and say “haha, no, thats irrational, isnt it”. The problem is, those kinds of fears often aren’t based off of nothing. They come from an understanding of how that friend treats others, and the fear that they feel the same way for you. I think Sapnap saw how Dream treated others and didnt care much for his relationships and that made him scared for his own friendship, and rightfully so, as we saw later.

Dream was unapologetically manipulative and abusive continuously. A few spur of the moment actions would be an unhealthy mental state, but continued and premeditated abuse without remorse is a… really bad sign.

WILBUR TIME!! At long last aha. Now, this is where i speak POSITIVELY about Wilbur. I’ll throw in some crit dont worry <3. So here’s why I dont believe that Wilbur is deserving of the amount of hate he gets:

Wilbur has shown at least an attempt to apologize to people, which goes against his usual mentality. He’s a very prideful character, and he hasn’t apologized much in the past i believe. While he’s nowhere near better mentally than he was on Nov 16, he’s shown that he’s trying.

While he has manipulated people since his revival, it’s all been spur of the moment reactions. No continuous decisions, like I mentioned with Dream. Its likely that they come from his delusions/paranoia (which he still suffers from, isolation does not heal mental illness).

I believe that the times that we see him being most genuine are when he’s with Ranboo, since Ranboo is a nonjudgmental person who Wilbur has related to and feels is a blank slate for him to talk to. We’ve heard him open up about his motives a lot, such as feeling as if everyone is scared of him. That’s further pushed by the fact that cc!Wilbur confirmed that when he said that Quackity is the only one that makes him feel human since he’s not scared to question Wilbur.

I think this is the big one: Wilbur recognizes that he was in the wrong in Pogtopia. He sees that he hurt Tommy and regrets it, which I think is really important to remember. Simple as that. He said he sees Tommy look at him with the same eyes as he did in Pogtopia, which makes me believe he would want to be better. I would talk about what i believe Wilbur’s motives throughout Pogtopia was here but I think that’s a post for another dayz

Alright uh thats it i think, sorry this was so long i was just havin a lotta thoughts about it, ya know? This is open to discussion i think, i just really enjoyed writing this out :D

[glorytoukraine2022]

1, 10, 12 for salty ask for elena of avalor?

1. I mentioned a few of these yesterday, but one OTP I really don’t get is Carzel. Marzel and Carla never interactacted in the Series. They are never shown to have any kind of connection. So I don’t understand any sort of dynamic these characters might have, nor do I understand why people believe they would fall in love and have a future together. Why would they fall in love with somebody they’ve never met? Who they barely even know. I simply don’t see it.

I also mentioned Eleteo. I can see the viewpoint people are coming from when they see Mateo and Elena interact, but I don’t see that “spark” there. Their friendship is wonderful, but that’s all I see them as: very good friends. I don’t see them as compatible as a couple. It just doesn’t seem to fit. I don’t see them ever seeking anything more out of each other than friendship. Mateo is cute and dorky, but I don’t see Elena that way.

Esteban/Elena. No. Just no. I love that Elena forgave Esteban in the end and that they were able to repair their relationship. And yes, Esteban knows everything there is to know about Royals and Royal affairs, and thus would problem know everything there is to know about being a King, so I can understand the appeal. But they are cousins. Their mothers were sisters. So Elena and Esteban having any sort of relationship would be considered incest. Not to mention Esteban is biologically much older than Elen. So no, I will never understand why people ship this.

Esteban x Naomi. know a lot of people ship this because of their dynamic in “My Fair Naomi”, but Esteban was just being Naomi��s mentor. They were in no way romantically attracted to each other. Even more importantl, Esteban is a grown adult, and in “My Fair Naomi”, Naomi was 15 going on 16. They have an age gap, that no amount of aging up can close.

Another one is Gababel. This couple too has a huge age gap. I know people like to age up Isabel for this ship, and the age gap will be less significant as they grow older, but I still just can’t see it. Gabe meets Isabel when she is only 10-11 years old. It just doesn’t make sense.

I would also like to add Esteban x ShurikI. Just because he made a deal with her as a teenager and served her as Chancellor for 41 years does NOT mean that Esteban and Shuriki are in love with each other. Shuriki murdered Esteban’s Aunt and Uncle! In the deal they made, Esteban made her promise that nobody would get hurt, yet who in his family got hurt? Let’s see…..EVERYONE! Why on earth would Esteban feel any connection to this woman? Also, Shuriki is much, much older than she looks. The only read why she has a youthful appearance is because of her magic.

Shuriki x Victor. Many of the reasons why I do not support this pairing is similar to my reasons for not shipping Victor and Esteban. Making a deal with an evil sorceress does not mean you are in love with them. If there was any attraction to Shuriki, than it was just a teenage crush. Shuriki manipulated Victor just as much as she did Esteban.

She banished Victor and his family from Avalor! Why would he fall in love with her? Also no, Victor working for Shuriki in season 2 doesn’t mean he was attracted to her either. He was working for her in exchange for power. Nothing more. As I said with Esteban, Shuriki has a younger appearance due to her magic. She is also probably much older than Victor.

One last ship I will mention is Gabeomi. Like with Eleteo, I just didn’t see the spark…at least, not until the finale. Now that Gabe and Naomi are confirmed to end up together in the finale, I am putting myself 100 percent behind the ship and supporting it. As long as Gabe and Naomi are happy together, that’s all that matters to me. I just need some really good Gabeomi shippers to sell it to me, because I haven’t been convinced yet.

10. I don’t know if I have a most disliked arc. Everybody in the show had great arcs and great character development. Even side characters. I was a little uncertain about Naomi becoming Chancellor of Avalor, since having such a high, hoity-toity position never struck me as in line with Naomi’s character. However, I’m sure she’ll do great. If Elena believes she’s the right choice, and as long as Naomi wants the job and is up for it, than I’m supportive of Naomi becoming Avalor’s Chancellor.

12. As I said above, I think all of the arcs were good and fantastically developed, so I can’t really think of an unpopular one. I dont know if they were unpopular or not, but two arcs that I enjoyed were Dona Paloma and Julio, her “assistant party planner” and Carla and Mateo as well. I know those were two side relationships and not plot important, but I enjoyed them nonetheless. It also helps build up to their foreshadowed romantic relationships at the end of the series.

[dangan-meme-palace]

I realy like your analysis on the kaito-maki-shuichi relationship. So i was wondering who in your opinion has the best relationship dynamic within the cast?

Aaaa thanks! I'm more or less pleased with how it came out :D probably could be shorter though haha

-tech

As for the best dynamic... hmm.

Judging based on what I mentioned in the previous post about strengths being highlighted and weaknesses being dealt with in one way or another and believable emotional bonds that help each other, I'd have to say...

Kokichi and Gonta

For sure, it's gotta be them.

Narratively:

They are canonly a dynamic duo, working together and using their different strengths to help one another in areas the other is lacking in. It feels like they can both truly shine when they cooperate, and that's exactly how it should be.

It's very nice to see them work together because they both bring something different to the table that truly helps the other, and not always in ways you would expect at first glance. The brain and brawn thing is expected, but the extent to which they compliment each other is unparalleled by any other dynamic in the game.

Kokichi -> Gonta

Admittedly, Kokichi does less for Gonta narratively than Gonta does for Kokichi, but to be fair I would expect someone like Kokichi to be the one others help shine, not the other way around. Kokichi, as the Ultimate Leader, is more like the protagonist while Gonta is the supporting character.

For the most part though, Kokichi's narrative role relating to Gonta is to show us that Gonta isn't the happy-go-lucky himbo the rest of the cast thinks he is, allowing us to see that Gonta has depth, specifically that Gonta's morals are definitely different than what one would normally expect from someone with his personality.

The rest is something that relates more to their emotional bond, but for now I'll just say that Kokichi allows us to see Gonta's insecurities, flaws, and dedication to his friends (both the cast and Kokichi) and this improves Gonta's character immensely.

Gonta -> Kokichi

Gonta, as a character, shows us just how human Kokichi can be, especially during chapter 4 but also in little moments throughout the game as well. Whether it be lashing out at the others, being soft (like, so, so soft) with Gonta, his cooperation skills, or the depths of his sadness and loyalty, Gonta drags these reactions out of Kokichi one by one like it's his job, which it is! Narratively, Gonta's job is to allow us to see glimpses of what goes on in Kokichi's heart, something incredibly rare and precious to me.

Gonta also really allows Kokichi's ability to strategize and lead people to shine. Like, really shine. Chapter 4 was the best showcase of Kokichi's talent of leading people, but that's because he had Gonta following him. Any captain needs a crew and any Ultimate Leader needs helpful and supportive followers that believe in him. This goes alongside Kokichi's major weakness throughout the game.

Kokichi's biggest weakness is that he's placed himself into an antagonistic position. Seems smart, until you realize that hes the Ultimate Leader and he just alienated himself from literally everyone, losing any potential bonds/followers he could have made. He shot himself in the foot by forsaking some leadership options when he's the Ultimate Leader. It's the thing he's best at, but he put limits on himself anyway to protect everyone from Monokuma's attempts to break them apart.

He can still get the group to do what he wants, but it takes a considerable amount of effort on his behalf in order to do so. Gonta makes up for that by being the follower that Kokichi desperately needs. Gonta believes in Kokichi enough to go along with both of his plans, to the extent that he still goes along with them even they involve kidnapping and killing the other characters.

There's also the fact that Gonta's dedication to the others might've helped Kokichi decide to keep helping everyone, but I'll get more into that in a bit.

Emotionally:

This dynamic also makes a lot of sense from an emotional perspective. You can actually see why these two outcast characters would want to come together and hang out with each other, and why they view the other so positively: they are each other's ideals.

Kokichi -> Gonta

When Gonta needed a friend and someone to take him seriously/not dismiss him, Kokichi was there to hang out with him, seriously listen to him, and explain things to him that he didn't get the first time. Where the other kids were scared of him due to his size and talent, Kokichi had the confidence to ignore Gonta's natural intimidation and the kindness to hang out with Gonta, despite being so scared of bugs he literally foams at the mouth when they touch him.

Kokichi still regarded Gonta as a friend after that incident though, when most people (justifiably) would've held a grudge and cut him off. Gonta has some very obvious rage issues and reacts pretty impulsively to the things that upset him, but Kokichi is very patient with others, and almost forgiving to a fault at times, so he's willing to stick with Gonta and try and work through their problems instead of abandoning him. This would no doubt be something that Gonta desperately wanted from a friend, seeing as he's very self conscious about appearing as scary.

He loyally sticks by Gonta and readily offers advice, support, explanations, patience, etc... I mean the list goes on. I really do think that his relationship with Gonta is a showcase of how Kokichi would act around someone he really likes, like I'm talking about this being the basis for how I think Kokichi would act around DICE levels of emotional intimacy. I think this is Kokichi at his best, friendship wise. Especially because even during events that take place outside of the main story we never see Kokichi act this way around anyone else, even with the people I would also consider to be his friends (mainly Miu, but also sorta with Kiibo as well.)

They didn't know each other for long, but if you really look at it, it's plain to see that Kokichi really valued Gonta as a friend. I mean, I dont think someone who yells about wanting to live during his FTEs with Kaede would willingly offer to give his life for (no discernable goal) for just anyone y'know? Plus, throughout the game, he uses some of his friendliest and softest sprites during his conversations with Gonta. Even visually you can see their bond.

It's a very subtle relationship when compared to some of the more overt pairs throughout the game (aside from some key moments in chapter 4) but it's there, and honestly I can think of very few characters that share this close of a bond in the whole series game.

They actually kinda seem similar to Aoi and Sakura in a way, but somehow they compliment each other more... damn.

Gonta -> Kokichi

Likewise, Gonta also became Kokichi's friend and didn't seem to mind the lying at all, something that means a lot to Kokichi based on his Harmonious Heart Events, because it means that Gonta doesn't want to be friends with someone different, he wants Kokichi, lies and all. This is Kokichi's #1 wish.

I think that meant more to Kokichi than anything else, because this is his way of life. He leads with lies, he plays with lies, and he protects himself with lies too. He wants to keep lying and Gonta not being bothered by that is literally the exact thing that Kokichi yearns for in the best ending for his HHE.

Gonta also caught on to the times that Kokichi was extending olive branches and accepted him. It's subtle, but Kokichi did try and befriend people as long as he could do it without having to change himself and Gonta was one of the people that responded to that positively. Gonta readily befriended Kokichi, probably understanding first-hand what it's like to be an outcast because of misunderstandings and personality traits.

This is why Gonta's death (especially since Kokichi felt like he was fully responsible for it, despite what Gonta said) was so traumatic for Kokichi and why he reacts so negatively to it, he lost someone he never thought he would ever meet in the first place. More than a few of his dialogue lines have him imply that he's used to being hated for how he chooses to live his life and that he expects this kind of treatment from people, so finally finding someone who won't hate him for that and then losing that friend so quickly with his own plan had to have hurt immensely.

Going off that, Gonta is the one to convince Kokichi to remain friends with everyone and try his best for them despite how they treat him, and he also desperately begs for the others to do the same thing for Kokichi. He knew he was leaving Kokichi alone, and he wanted to try and protect him.

While the other members of the cast don't seem to remember this or care much about it after the whole "I'm the mastermind" bit, we do see Kokichi trying to protect the group after chapter 4 by trying getting rid of the motive to leave (therefore "ending" the killing game by making sure no one plays it) and by trying to remove Kaito, who has shown himself to be a harmful influence.

I think Gonta's words really got through to Kokichi, and while it did unfortunately lead to Kokichi dying for everyone's sake, Kokichi might not have tried to save everyone if it hadn't been for Gonta's last wishes. Why would Kokichi want to help people that actively hate him and bully him if not for the pleading of his greatest friend in the game telling him to keep protecting them.

In a sense, Kokichi during chapter 5 fulfills Gonta's original wish to be useful and protect everyone even at the cost of himself, with Kokichi doing exactly that.

Interested?

If you asked me for moments that I feel showcase their bond nicely so you can get a feel of it for yourself, I'd point you towards the dialogue they share during the 4th trial investigation and their meeting before the Insect Meet and Greet was very nice (you'll have to read between the lines for the former though!) If you want to see what I'm talking about, I would definitely recommend rewatching those. The moments prior to Gonta's execution are also always a good look at how much they meant to each other.

If you're really interested, I'd also recommend watching through their bonus content (LHEs, FTEs, HHEs, etc) and thinking about how their desires are reflected in each other, it's interesting to think about at the very least.

TL;DR?

Overall, they have an amazing, yet unsung, dynamic between the two of them and I would like to see more people recognize it. It's very brief and doesn't have a lot of story time, but it feels more meaningful than any of the "main" dynamics in the game with 10x the screentime. It has substance to it. It's satisfying and gratifying to watch.

It also makes fucking sense, unlike a particular dynamic that takes up a majority of the fucking story for nOTHING–

[verytiredowl]

A character analysation of IdV’s Bloody Queen

Bloody Queen AKA Mary is a hunter in the mobile/PC game Identity V. She is personally my favorite hunter because she is easy to learn but hard to master. Her backstory is something that has always interested me though, so i decided to compile my thoughts onto this one post.

Something i appreciate about IdV’s character roster is that some of them are based off of historical characters, and interesting ones at that. So expect a lot of history lessons and references that should be explained in order to understand a character fully (especially with Mary considering how there isn’t a lot shown about her backstory through promotional content, and im talking about stuff like the official website here).

With that in mind, let’s just get into it.

There is not a lot we know about Mary other than the fact that she is inspired from a mix of stories, those being about a French queen named Marie Antoinette and Bloody Mary. These two are used in seperate ways, Marie Antoinette’s story being used as heavy inspiration for Mary’s backstory and lore, while Bloody Mary is a visual/gameplay inspiration.

Mary’s description on her info page and on the official idv website is 

This is strange because it really tells little to nothing about Mary besides her being aware that the position of a queen means a lot of vulnerability. It also strikes me as weird because every other hunter has a fleshed out backstory being written under this tab. (With the exception of Guard 26)

So overall, the ground to work on is pretty small, we dont have a lot of info revealed to us, and therefore leaves her to be a character who loses a lot of potential on a writing stance.

Intro Video

Mary does have an introduction video, though, which explains the base of what happened to her Pre-manor. 

The video explains how Mary was the queen of a country that had a bad financial crisis which was so bad people couldn’t afford food (if we are sticking fully to the Marie Antoinette inspo, this was in the 1790′s) and the public felt as if Mary didn’t care enough to help her people, the citizens voted her to be beheaded under a guillotine. Truth be told, Mary was actually trying to help her citizens by giving them cake.

We have probably the most lore information about Mary from her deduction descriptions, which explain her career as a queen more in detail, about struggles she had and her situation in general.

Deductions

(Credits to u/mawile94 on Reddit for the images)

The first conclusion is clearly telling us that the king Mary married had a problematic family, and the king’s family probably only looked at Mary as someone who will keep the family’s name up, someone who will have a child with the king. (Also, dont get confused: Maria Theresia is Mary’s mother’s name, not her actual name.)

Mary used to spend a lot of time away from the palace in Petit Trianon, which is a manor located in Versailles. The secret letter tells us that Mary was egoistic, naive, and was kind of a glutton. The letter mentions how rumors are powerful, and are going to spread really fast once word comes out about the “incompetence” and lacking abilities witihin the royal family, which will eventually be Mary’s demise.

Princess Lamballe is once again a historical recreation of actual Priness Lamballe, a part of the Savoy House (Western EU country). In real life, Lamballe was actually the confidante (someone who you would discuss private matters with as a royal) of Marie Antoinette after her 1 year old marriage came to an end. IRL, Princess Lambelle dies along Marie Antoinette’s side as she gets killed in the French Revolution. 

The shameful secret can really only be assumed to mean that Lamballe was actually Mary’s secret affair, especially looking at how all evidence suggests that the actual royal family Mary is connected to seems to be a mess. Mary is kind of confirmed to be wlw from this deduction which is fucking cool, but this rumor mightve been what also caused Mary to be beheaded. (But, IRL, the king Artois considered Marie to be physicially unattractive or even smart enough for him, in contrary to him, where he apparently was attractive. He did end up making up with quite a number of mistresses. But let’s not get into a conversation about how unhealthy or toxic royal relationships were in the 1700′s)

this is obviously saying Lamballe is being replaced by the Yolande (Countess of Polignac) as her confidante. IRL, this happens because the Countess of Pilognac and Lamballe start having quarrels against each other, in which they try to win over the queen’s heart, and over time Marie ends up preferring Yolande’s company. But Lamballe feels as if Yolande was a bad influence on the queen, yet she could do nothing about it. The friendship between Lamballe and Marie remained regardless, and she constantly admired Lamballe’s loyalty toward her.  "She is the only woman I know who never bears a grudge; neither hatred nor jealousy is to be found in her." 

Mary finally has a child, and it is a girl. Here we see the reinforcement of Lamballe’s loyalty, but with this conclusion also being titled as a rumor, it is also telling that this is one of many reasons people will start getting suspicious of Mary’s possible affairs.  

This conclusion only leads me to believe that one of the several reasons why Mary was treated the way she was by the public was because of jealousy towards her life and the things she achieved at a young age. The description of the people who are spreading the rumors are bitter, sour people who take joy out of seeing the bad in successful people. Here is where it all goes downhill (as evident by the subtitle under the deduction title.)

We will once again need a little bit of a history lesson for this one:

Koblenz, first of all is a city in Germany. The reason why the French would ever think of even setting up anything in Germany was because of the French Immigrants, and the reason why the Germans were cool about this was because the archbishop-elector (one of the chiep bishop electors) was the uncle of Louis XVI-a persecuted king of France. Along with the refugees that entered the city, two of them was Louis XVI’s brothers: The Count of Provence and the Count of Artois. them, along with Louis XVI’s cousin, Prince Louis Joseph formed an army of aristocrats who would seek to fight for the Ancien Regimé (The name of the political and social system that was popular in France at the time.) In the meantime back in France, the Royal Family gave in and decided to adopt the  Constitutional Monarchy, which was very modern at the time. This deduction description just basically explains that this is where Mary and the royal family fucks up, i just thought it would be interesting to know what they actually meant by what they wrote.

Yolande has left behind the Royal Family and made a run to escape the country. If you’re wondering, at the start of the revolution Princess Lamballe was actually in Switzerland, but as soon as she got notified of the situation she revisited the royal family to aid them, and reassumed her position.

This letter in particular is pretty cut-and-clear: the intention of the revolutionists was to smudge the royal family’s name in the dirt once and for all. What real-life anti-monarchist propaganda would consist of at the time was promiscuous imagery of Lamballe and the queen as lovers to further “besmirch” the queen’s reputation.

This is just obviously hinting at the aftermath of the French Revolutions and also telling us the present (at the time the letter was written). Mary gets executed by the Guillotine, and-well we all know how the rest of the story goes.

Overall, Mary’s deduction story is just a short summarization of what actually happened before and during the French Revolution: it even added the details of how actually sketchy and corrupt the royal family within was, not just the dissatisfaction of the public. As a summary of what this meant for Mary, as the Hunter, she feels pure bitterness, and anger towards the citizens for the way they treated her and the people around her. And as we can see, there was no reference towards Bloody Mary what-so-ever, and the reason why that is is because according to the Chinese version of IdV (which is what the original game’s region/language is) Her name actually would translate to “Madame Red”, not Bloody Queen. I think it was just the translators having fun with words, and since her design is very similar to that of what a person would think Bloody Mary looks like, i guess it made sense to them lol

But regardless, we’ll still take a look at Mary’s design.

Mary’s design is simple compared to other hunter designs in IdV. A simple, ball gown which was originally white, but turned red due to Mary’s beheading, pools of blood dropped all over her body. Mary also used to have long hair, but assumed by the very broken looking locks of hair, her hair probably was cut down by the guillotine. Eagle-eyed people will also take notice to her neck, which is stitched back onto the rest of her body, which the designers wanted to include really bad since its prevalent even in concept sketches as well:

Mary’s gameplay design is based solely on mythologies about Bloody Mary, however, which makes things kind of confusing, but i guess thats what idv excels at the most lol

anyway, you’ve reached the end! if you have read this far, thank you so much, i put so much effort and research into this and i hope people will make good use of it. I also hope i made you more interested in playing mary and/or the French Revolution, lol  but thank you for reading this!!

references:

The Count of Artois and the Coming of the French Revolution by Vincent W. Beach 

The Princesse de Lamballe; a biography by Hardy, B. C. (Blanche Christabel)

My history textbooks

And wikipedia lol

[littlenekosfan]

i love jugram versus uryu so much... especially their point of view of Friendship

jugram is a very complicated character, its hard for us readers to understand his actions vs his beliefs bc not only he rarely acts upon them but he never really gave us a proper glance to his intentions/values... i remember watching a video where the person pointed out that jugram is the type to only commit to a relationship if he can get something out of it... i understood what he meant bc jugram says it himself in the manga

but that point doesnt stand bc bazz exists, jugram is still in touch with bazz with no hostility and still in good terms (somehow) despite just being a mere sternritter like any other... i mean, what does bazz have to offer to jugram ? he isnt yhwach, he wont give him a high ranked position or anything, yet with bazz, he still considers him as a friend

then what does jugram mean in that exchange? i believe he's saying something like that simply bc he doesnt understand ishida, both of them dont have the same concept of "friendship" but that doesnt make one have the wrong/unhealthy definition of it, ju/bazz vs ichi/ishi friendship are very different and we understand ichishi better simply bc we not only relate more but we witness their friendship grow unlike juazz, where their friendship has been broken by trauma and they never got to, talk it out... so in other words, juazz arent "friends" like we (readers) know of irl, there is not proper label to their relationship but its certainly not a one sided one nor based on hatred... 

jugram compares uryu’s loyalty to his when both of them clearly dont have the same backgrounds, thus making them incomaprable in that matter... jugram you cant compare a 17yrs old boy who hated his now closest friend bc he was a shinigami and joined in the army only in order to protect him... when You lost your friendship over lack of maturity and manipulation (from yhwach ofc) and never took the time to fix that up bc the result might be worse than it currently is... uryu had a chance, you didnt, or at least, think, since you never tried...

i also love this reply from uryu telling jugram how he follows ichigo and believes in him simply bc he’s his friends, and friends should love eachother,, jugram’s passive reaction (shown in the panel) says a Lot, especially for the closed character he is, few words about the importance of friendships made him clench his fist and he doesnt even reply to this... it really got him 

its just sad how jugram has been taught that kind of thing.. we all know how insecrure young jugram used to be, and it shouldnt be discarded in his current age behavior/persona bc jugram wasnt always like that, being cold and closed, he used to be a kid, he used to smile, he used to love, just like we do, but he has been taught that these are useless feelings or useless relationships... his coldness isnt because he is like that, that it’s his personality.. its bc this is the only way he can keep a line between his duty and his heart, the colder he gets, the more he wants to protect himself.... its such a sad character....

this is just me rambling, dont consider this as a full breakdown of their pov about friendship bc there is a LOT to unpack... (maybe someday ill do it!)

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[onlytaylor]

Seven Minutes in Heaven Drarry (and Seamus is always right)

Eighth year at Hogwarts was intended to be one of educational fulfillment, a chance to finish one’s goal of mastering NEWT level witchcraft and wizardry. What it had become, however, was quite the opposite.

It all started when Hermione made friends with that one Slytherin Pansy Parkinson, and boy what a friendship it was. No one could really place what the two had in common, or what it was that kept them giggling at night, but they were a regular Lavender and Parvati and there was no separating them now.

The increased occurrence of Pansy’s presence had brought about a very sly, coy Blaise Zabini. Ron had refused to acknowledge his placement at their parties (“soirées” according to Pansy) until one day Blaise cracked a joke about Malfoy and- damn- If that didn’t have Ronald Weasley spewing his butter beer. They, too, had become an inseparable duo, and Harry had just about had it (“UP TO HERE” he’d said) because if Pansy was there, and Blaise was there, then Draco most definitely was going to be there. All the goddamn time. And there was no one he still despised more than- well, come to think of it, he really didn’t anymore. At the conclusion of the war, Malfoy had become sort of a gray character in Harry’s life, one who’d shown his condolences and grown quite a bit. They’d shared small conversations here and there, but nothing to speak of. And definitely not anything to make them friends. Malfoy and Potter could never be friends, no. There’d always been something so much deeper than that, whether it was hate, or just a plain abomination that resonated between them. But, whatever it was, it wasn’t friendship. It was fire, and passion, and knowledge, and fury. It struck Harry’s insides like wildfire, like the hot breath of a Hungarian Horntail. No, they would never be friends.

When the eighth year common room lit up that Friday night with the anticipatory mood of another soiree, Harry wasn’t surprised to see the silver trio enter suavely. Seamus was already drunk, and with Dean in tow he marched right up to Malfoy and gave him quite the uncomfortable hug.

“Malfoy! It’s so good to see you. I notice you’ve been hanging around those three pretty often. Anything you wanna tell me?” He gestured toward Harry with a wiggle of his brows and an obnoxious thumbs up that had Dean dragging him away. “Okay, Okay, you’re cut off.”

Harry, who’d already been staring in that general direction (because he hated him being here, that was all) froze with some sort of embarrassment. He expected Malfoy to sneer, or make some rude arse comment to the already pissed Gryffindor, but instead the only shade of emotion he illicited was a hot pink blush that spread across both cheeks. Harry started. He’d never seen Malfoy look so, so... fragile. It was beautiful. Captivating. What?

And then they were all downing shots of Firewhiskey (courtesy of Ron’s newest best friend), and the more inebriated Harry got, the more he found himself pondering the flush of those cheeks. The way his platinum hair accentuated them. The way his sharp features lacked their once pointed edges, and appeared rather... endearing. Like he really regretted following in his father’s foot steps during the war. Like another chance.

And suddenly Harry was thinking about his lips, and how they might taste like that certain kind of redemption that flips the world upside down. And he knew he was drunk, because when had he ever thought about snogging Malfoy? If he was really honest with himself, he’d find that this wasn’t the first time.

And suddenly his stupor was broken by a very self-appeased Pansy Parkinson suggesting that they lock each other in a closet for seven minutes and see what happens. “It’s a muggle game! Hermione told me about it,” she chattered, and Harry noticed Hermione’s cheeks blushing the same way that Draco’s had. What the fuck?

And then coincidentally Ron and Blaise were the first to end up locked away together, and from the suspicious noises coming from behind the door, Harry assumed they’d figured out they were in each other’s company. Was he fucking dreaming?

And then Luna (was she even an eighth year?) ended up with Ginny, and Dean with Seamus, and suddenly drunk Harry was wondering if Pansy was behind these matches or if this was one big coincidence.

When it was his turn to be blindfolded, he entered the closet with a weird sort of anticipation that he was sure he could blame on the whiskey. Why did he care who he ended up with? It’s not like it meant anything... right?

And why was there a small, evil voice in the back of his mind that hoped it would be Malfoy?

When the door opened again to reveal the warmth of another body, and immediately closed behind it, Harry’s breath caught. Who could it be?

“Hello?” He asked dumbly as the figure drew closer. He could feel their presence radiating toward him, being drawn as if by gravity. Since when did drunk Harry become such a goddamn poet? And then the body was beside him, sitting with its back against the wall, and Harry could feel his cheeks heating at the sudden closeness. Similar to the way Malfoy’s had.

Without a word, the foreign person beside him grasped his hand between two of their own. Simultaneously Harry’s heart began to race. Those hands were both mysterious and strangely familiar as they traced small circles around his palm. They were soft and smooth and suddenly Harry’s head was swimming, and he was 99% sure it wasn’t from the alcohol. The next moment brought their face eerily close to Harry’s, so much so that he could feel the smooth tickle of peppermint breath across his face.

And all at once he knew. He didn’t have to touch him. He recognized the proper, clean smell of a Malfoy, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He felt something inside him lurch, like he never wanted this moment to end. Why was he so close? And why did he want him closer?

“I know it’s you.” Harry whispered suddenly as he felt that breath come even closer, hot and heavy against his lips.

“Then why are you still wearing this?” Was the hushed response, and then those soft fingers were untying Pansy’s Slytherin tie from around his head.

The first thing he saw were piercing silver eyes held flush with his own. Why had he never noticed how stunning he was?

“We’re drunk,” Harry said as the world began to sway, reflecting outside what he so desperately felt within.

“I think about you all the time.” Was the response, and Harry felt his stomach lurch. “Ever since you gave me my wand back. And then Pansy and Blaise are all about your friends, and suddenly you didn’t seem so bad anymore. And then I realized that...that...”

Harry was frozen in his current state, unable to form words, let alone sentences. Out of nowhere, his instinct kicked in, took over, and answered what he knew to be hiding all along.

“That we always wanted each other.”

Draco nodded before resting his forehead against Harry’s. And then, out of nowhere, he was laughing.

“God, I never would’ve had the courage to tell you that if I wasn’t completely pissed. I’m no Gryffindor.”

Harry chuckled. “Well, I guess that makes me a poor excuse for one then.”

“You’re right. You should’ve told me sooner. That was your job.”

Harry smiled. “Prat.”

“Git.”

A quick pause, both lips pulled into an understanding smile. And then Harry’s grin widened into something slightly more facetious.

“So... how many minutes do you think we have? Five? Two?”

“Enough,” Draco answered urgently before pressing his lips forcefully upon his own.

Oh, God, they were the perfect balance of forgiveness and pining and secrets and fresh beginnings. They were soft and supple and most definitely not sneering in his direction. Harry’s drunken self pulled closer, no longer denying his innate desire to feel every piece of Malfoy become one with himself. His hands found the back of his neck, gripping the infinity of this moment before parting his lips and inviting Malfoy inside. He was suddenly overtaken by the overwhelming sensation of warm peppermint colliding against his tongue. It was perfection at its finest. It was Draco, and Harry, and a lifetime of desire splayed before them in one solid gesture. It was the future, and everything that was to come once they (literally) would come out of the closet together. It was firewhiskey and sobriety and indulgence. It was...

A room full of eighth years standing in silence, door wide open, observing two idiots snogging in a closet. Pansy wore a smirk; Hermione a knowing smile. Ron’s mouth was dropped into an unpleasant “O,” and Blaise was quietly chuckling at his reaction. They would’ve kept going, completely oblivious to the audience before them, if it weren’t for a stumbling Seamus Finnigan barging through the open doorway.

“SEE, DEAN!? YOU DONT GET TO CUT ME OFF WHEN IM RIGHT!?!?!?”

Drunk Harry didn’t care, and he had a feeling that sober Harry wouldn’t either. They separated with a grin before Draco took Harry’s hand and pulled them into a standing position.

He winked at Harry before turning to the crowd. “Somebody get Seamus a drink. He was right.”

With a hoop and holler from across the group, the soirée continued. It wasn’t long before Draco’s and Harry’s drunken confession inspired the start of several other relationships. By the end of the evening, Blaise and Ron had snuck to the dorm and Pansy and Hermione had locked lips in a deserted corner.

All in all, eighth year was more than just preparing for NEWTS. It seemed that it was educational in all kinds of ways, and at the end of the day, the golden trio had learned more than they would’ve ever expected from the silver trio. And, on top of that, everyone seemed to learn that when Seamus Finnigan was drunk, you should just go ahead and listen.

[ruffiorocks]

Lena still doesn't have a logical reason to turn bad not without cancelling out everything she has ever done.

OK, so first off I really enjoyed that episode! After watching the last episode of GOT I needed something exciting! (But let's not go into that s**t show)

So I'm going to focus here on Lena. Now Lena from the start of the episode was against Lex and was trying to stop him. What he was doing was despicable to her. She even goes out of her way to kill Lex (once again being the one who ACTUALLY saved the day).

Now let's remember what Lena said to him "The world will never be a safe place with you in it". This is really significant! Lena has always done what she has done to protect people, humans and aliens alike. Lena has never differentiated between the two. Lena killed her own brother because she knew he would never stop and the world would never be a safe place.

So what can we take from this? Lena is willing to go to the extreme to keep the world safe. Does that make her a squeaky clean simble of hope like Supergirl? No it doesn't, because Supergirl doesn't make those choices. Supergirl believes in the good of everyone and she even wanted to save Lex's life. That's noble and all but locking Lex up only ever results in him getting out and causing more mayhem and death. Lena sees things differently, she knows he won't ever stop so she permanently (for now) stopped him.

Lena isn't the same kind of hero that Supergirl is. One is the Hero and the other is the Anti Hero. But that doesn't make one better than the other.

Supergirl went down the path of Killing her enemy (Reign) and she suffered for it because people she loved died and she had to use time travel. It's not in her to make those hard choices. She was raised with love and positive messages and her cousin being Superman, so that's her mind set.

Lena on the other hand was raised in a hostile environment where you got rid of problems. No one was good and no one was bad it was all about power. Lena didnt have positive messages of hope and love like Kara did. Lena has had to deal with issues the Luthor way because she didn't have a superhero there to do it for her. Superman couldn't even take down Lex without Lena stepping in.

So, Lena made the hard choice and ended the threat to the world and other worlds. Personally ? I'm with her. Who wouldn't have shot Hitler? If someone had would they be considered 'evil' or having the potential to become the next Hitler? Of course not! Christ even Lillian knew Lex had gone to far and she tried to end it there and then, Killing her own child to protect the world. Lillian and Lena made hard choices but they knew they needed to be made, the super friends are lost in truth and hope and everyone deserves a million chances.

So, Lena finds out that Kara is Supergirl. She has every reason to be pissed off to the max with Kara. Enough even to never speak to her again.

You ask why she has a right to be mad? Well it all boils down to Lena being a Luthor. Lena believed that Kara Danvers befriended her because she genuinely wanted to be her friend, something Lena really needed since she didn't have any in National City. So Lena went to find Kara and invite her to things and a friendship grew. Lena even went out of her way to give Kara exclusives and exclusive access to her. She was welcomed into Kara's friendship and family circle and probably for the first time since she was 4 knew what it was like to have a family.

Now also during this time Lena met Supergirl and had no issues with her at all. She helped her, teamed up with her, respected her etc. But then you had their big fight, to Lena she only had a beef with Supergirl.

So now imagine you're Lena and you have just learned that your best friend is actually Supergirl. If I was Lena my first thought would be that Kara only agreed to be my friend because she was keeping tabs on me. A logical thought process. You've been invited into their home, they come to you looking for information, they even introduce you to their family. You think you have been welcomed and accepted when what could actually have been happening the whole time was that they just wanted you in their sights. To keep an eye on you just in case you decide to go dark. Lena could think that this was all true considering she now knows that when Supergirl was hostile towards her accusing her of essentially being bad it was Kara the entire time. Best friends dont treat each other like that secret identity or not.

Now this could have been forgiven if Kara hadn't let it go on for so long.

Lena was told in the worst possible way, she was told by Lex and even shown footage of her being consistently duped and lied to. Lena also knows that Lillian knew so she knows that Kara has kept her and only her in the dark. That's not good, that just indicates that Kara was just never going to tell her at all. A break down in trust right there.

But no matter all of the above, Lena has no reason what so ever to become evil. She has proved and shown since the second she showed up that she is on the side of good. She has shown that she wants to protect aliens, she has shown she wants to protect humans. She has fought against actual villains like Rhea and Edge. She saw her close friend deteriorate into a homicidal world killer and still wanted to save her life protecting her from the DEO and Supergirl because she didn't know what they would do to her. She has saved the world more than once. She has saved the aliens from genocide, she saved an entire city of Kryptonians from extinction. Lena even continued to fight side by side with Supergirl even when they weren't talking. Even when she and Supergirl are friends she has built her special equipment to protect her from Kryptonite.

All of that shows that Lena is a good person even when she's having a beef with Supergirl. So her finding out that Kara is supergirl only warrants Lena being pissed at Kara , never talking to her again and never trusting another person. Lena could just feel like she was being essentially baby sat and used the whole time. But it DOES NOT warrant her becoming villain. That makes no logical sense at all. They like to borrow from Smallvilles Lex and Clark? The difference there is that Lex was always power hungry and was out for just Lex, he wasnt all bad in the beginning but he did do bad and questionable things. Clark simply refused to see that Lex was bad. Kara and Lena are very different, Lena has never shown herself to be anything like Lex or power mad. Everything she does is for the benefit of others. Even the Harun El serum was supposed to be for the benefit of others.

So for Lena to become evil or the villain and give up what makes her her just because she now knows everyone's been lying is a disservice to her character. It also makes no sense at all. She would be better off just kicking them all out of there life and going it alone. She may even choose to be a hero without their interference because she has no trust in them anymore. Lena being a good person was never dependent on Kara, she was good before she eve set eyes on her.

As for her being mad at the others? Still completely justifiable. Dating James? She may start to think it was all just part of the plan to keep an eye on her. He even threw Supergirl under the bus ruining any trust Lena could have had in Supergirl. Lena now knows it was Kara using the people close to her to betray her. She also knows that James was fully aware it was Kara the whole time and whereas he was fine to drop Supergirl in it he was happy to let Lena continue to fully trust Kara while simultaneously distrusting Supergirl. All that sounds so manipulative even if it wasn't meant that way. All those opinions he had? Were they really his or were they just what the Super friends decided he needed to say, did he act following their directions? Was he planted by Superman the whole time? It's a can of worms. Lena will question everything she knows and every conversation she's has with all of them since she arrived.

The others? Well she may not be as pissed but she still has a right to be. Lena has essentially been made the fool of. Imagine being the only one out of your 'family' who doesn't know the biggest secret they have. Lena will just believe that she wasnt trusted.

Why did she not mention it and is still joining game night? Makes sense to let those deceiving you believe that they are still deceiving you. Lena doesn't know what they have or had planned or why they have lied to her, it would be illogical to make them aware when you're not sure you can even trust them. What if Jonn hacks her mind? Best to stay quiet and see how it plays out and now you have all the information when dealing with them. You finally have access to the whole picture and everyone's motivations. She may also be waiting to see if Kara will tell her.

So in conclusion, Lena has every right to be pissed at everyone and never speak to them again. But there is no viable reason for her to become a villain hell bent of destroying supergirl when she has proved since day one and even when treated poorly by Supergirl that that just isnt her game plan at all. To make her suddenly want to kill Aliens or anyone at all makes no sense and is a complete 180 in her character personality and her whole arc. To have her turn into Lex after killing Lex for being Lex? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. It just makes Lex right the whole time. 

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[krpk-remaking]

on kurapikas view of himself and his relations with leorio and prince woble (again)

this is a continuation of/add on to this post i made! you dont have to read it to understand this but i would really appreciate it if you did! also, shoutout to mags @senritsus again for helping me with this, again! <3

im gonna be talking about kurapikas very negative of himself, the importance of leorio to his arc (again, i know) and ill go more in depth about the importance of prince woble, since i forgot some important parts in my original post!

1. Kurapikas Selfloathing

Kurapika seems to truly believe, that the people around him dont, or shouldnt care about him.  Right now he sees his quest for revenge as his only reason to live, though that might be slowly changing (hopefully).

Here, he refers to his journy finally beginning, the journey he wanted to take way back when he first left, but his clan was murdered only six weeks after he left and after that his only reason for traveling was his quest for revenge.

It was the purpose he had give himself and now hes scared of where he should go, when that purpose is fulfilled.

He genuinely doesnt seem to be able to fathom, that anyone could truly care about him

Heres Mizai, directly telling him, that Leorio cares about him, “values him highly” to which Kurapika responds “I wonder about that. To be honest i really dont think my ability will be of much help within the dark continent.”

Kurapika measures his worth to others, especially Leorio here, through his ability to fight.

He wonders if Leorio values him. He doesnt know, hes unsure, after Leorio has tried to call him for over a year, Kurapika thinks that the only thing Leorio could possibly value about him, is his ability to fight.

He thinks thats the reason, that Leorio suggested him for a position in the Zodiacs.

Kurapika thinks his only reason to live his is revenge and as such sees no worth for himself as a person.

He really doesnt see himself as human anymore and just someone, who lives for a revenge, a beast in humans clothing.

The reasons he keeps pushing Leorio away and denying, that Leorio cares about him in any ways is that hes scared to get close to people since he doesnt want to suffer through the pain of losing someone again, hes scared to let people close because he seems himself as bad influence, and he believes he doesnt deserve any care Leorio shows him. Hes still not convinced that Leorio truly cares about him as a Person (see: “I wonder about that”), which brings me to:

2. Kurapikas Relationship With Leorio

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Leorio and Kurapika are absolutely crucial to the others development. I have made a post about this but it wasnt very thought out and really mostly just me, being very very mad at three am, so ill talk about it properly now.

2.1 Thematic Connection Through The Narrative

Back when Kurapika first left his village, he left to explore, to have fun (as instructed by Pairo), and to find a doctor. Leorio wants to be a doctor. Togashi easily couldve made Kurapika leave for just those reasons or for any other reasons. Leorio couldve wanted to be anything else but both of them want to find/want to be a doctor and i do believe that has a lot of significance.

I think this is the exact moment, Kurapika came to truly appreciate Leorio, after seeing how he is actually dedicated to helping others and after finding out that he wants to be a doctor. And, maybe not so coincidentally, Kurapika also seems to be at his best during the first arc, even laughing. The only other time he laughs is way after the hunter exam arc, when Gon and Killua have their food fight, but thats it.

Though, this has a lot to do with Kurapika being around Children, who seem to calm him down (possibly because they remind him of pairo) Ive actually kind of talked about that too! The thematic connection continues with the fact, that both had a friend die.

This adds on to the moment, where they actually truly became friends. Kurapika realizes that Leorio has experienced loss too and they connect through that fact on a personal and thematic level. Also, during this arc, when Killua and Gon are constantly paired up, so are Kurapika and Leorio but thats probably just so the four protagonists could all stay in their little group.

And of course, The Zodiac Connection. Their appearances are obviously similar:

And Pariston seems to have some features from Leorio too, same with Ging and Kurapika They seem to be foils of eachother in a way, more obviously with Ging and Leorio with the whole caring about Gon thing. Ging and Paristons Relationship mirrors the Relationship Leorio and Kurapika had at the very beginning, before the Hunter exam started, though theirs was more lighthearted because they were still teens while Ging and Pariston are fully grown adults. Pariston and Kurapika also both seem to have two sides to their personality, that they dont always show, Kurapikas being his happier side that was mostly showing during the hunter exam when he had a strong support system and Paristons being his sinister one thats very unlike the cheery public persona he puts on, mirroring Kurapika once again. Right now, in the manga, Ging and Pariston are working together, while Kurapika and Leorio are apart and Paristons and Gings teaming up also happend, while Kurapika went to join the Zodiacs, reuniting with Leorio. Since Ging and Pariston are so important to the others arc right now, I think Leorio will definitely come into play sometime this arc.

Also, a sidenote: This arc seems to be shaping up to be the chimera ant arc equivalent for Kurapika and hopefully Leorio too, since it comes almost directly after it, does not involve Killua and Gon at all (just like the chimera ant arc had no Leorio and Kurapika), involves the dark continent in a way (just like the chimera ant arc, since that is where they came from) and has Killua and Gon seperated, like Leorio and Kurapika where during the chimera ant arc.

Killua and Gon begun the chimera ant arc together and ended it with their Seperation. Leorio and Kurapika begun this arc seperately (with a short reunion) and maybe they will end it with being together, but this is mostly just me hoping.

(And this time its Mizai dealing with all of their teen angst.)

2.2 Personal Connection, Their Relationship

I really have seen barely any meta on their relationship which i think is a crime because its really so good and interesting, so, here i go!

Kurapikas and Leorios Friendship starts out very rocky, obviously. They butt heads when they first meet and have a lot of petty arguments well after that but as their bond strenghtens those lessen.

At the beginning of the hunter exam arc, they were pretty much at eachothers throats, then they learn about eachothers real motivations, spend more time together and begin to value eachother more.

here are some moments where leorio helps kurapika loosen up

and here are some where its obvious that kurapika does think highly of leorio and sees him as his equal.

Selflessness seems to be a trait Kurapika admires. When it first became obvious that Leorio actually wanted the money to help people, their relationship immediately improved.

As shown above, by the time they reach the island stage, Kurapika trusts Leorio enough to want to team up with him.

And the appreciation is definitely mutual. Leorio sees Kurapika as his friends and he values all of his friends highly. Also, Kurapika appears to help him be more rational > stopping him from attacking that old woman > trying to calm him during arguments

(Not when Illumi was threatening Gon and Killua though but thats very understandable.)

Then, during the yorknew arc, Leorio starts their tradition of calling and not picking up and later insists on helping him, and tries to calm him, multiple times, eventually succeeding (kind of).

Later, when Kurapika comes down with his fever, Leorio is right there, taking care of him. It shows how much he worries for and cares about Kurapika and how he really doesnt want to lose another friend.

Heres him telling Melody to take care of Kurapika, knowing that she will be at his side as a colleague.

Then, way way later when they finally reunite, after Leorios been trying to call for so long and Kurapikas been climbing the mafia ranks and pushing everyone away, they still care so much about eachother.

Kurapika feels better with Leorio around and hes thankful for him but still believes that he doesnt deserve any care. And its obvious to everyone, except Kurapika apparently, that Leorio cares, so much.

Leorio also feels better with Kurapika around, someone he knows and trusts. And they do know eachother well. Kurapika notes, that he isnt even “the shy or socially anxious type” , which either implies that this is a very stressful situation for Leorio, or, that Leorio is just using being “uncomfortable” as an excuse to see Kurapika. Though it really is more likely that its the first one, im just throwing this out here.

Then of course, theres this, which ill never shut up about:

Its Kurapikas Mentor, telling him, that hes gonna need allies he genuinely cares about to progress forward, to which Kurapika thinks that he was right since progressing forward like this wasnt that simple, but his solution to that seems to be wanting to get even stronger, he doesnt want to endanger anyone, he doesnt want to care about people, but its not that simple in reality, cue: pictures of Gon, Killua, Leorio and Prince Woble, the four people he canonically cares most about. Since this is the section about Leorio, ill go more in depth about his panel here and later, ill talk about Prince Woble.

Hes thinking about moments where they made him happy/made him care about them, Gon and Killua with their food fight in the park where they cheered him up and Leorio on the phone. Its him calling to check up on Kurapika. Kurapika really did appreciate it so much, even if he doesnt show it, even if he keeps pushing Leorio away. And he does care about them, even if he doesnt want to! The way Leorio expresses care for his friends, which is very vocal and direct, is so good for Kurapika because even if he still cant really believe or accept it, its still something he appreciates, somehow. I am not (!) saying that they will definitely end up with eachother but they are definitely incredibly important to the others character development and i dont think Togashi will forget about that. Now, for my last point.

3. Kurapikas Relations With Prince Woble

Prince Woble is so, so important to Kurapika, this isnt news and Kurapika holds an incredible amount of empathy for little kids, seen in his interactions with Gon and Killua too and now with Prince Woble.

He really is very dedicated to protecting Prince Woble in this arc, prepared to full on die for her. To directly quote my other meta post about this,

“Kurapikas arc appears to very much be about him finding the human connection, that he lost when his clan was killed, again, effectively making this found family story a Big Deal thematically. Him finding a new purpose in life through taking care of Woble would be, in my opinion, a thematically satisfying ending for Kurapikas arc, since its been said by many in-story characters that his search for revenge will only destroy him in the end”

Though, the important part, that i neglected in my first post since i cant read, is, that when Kurapika thinks about the people he cares about, he also thinks about her.

I really, really hope that this is some kind of foreshadowing of him actually taking care of Prince Woble in the future. It would be the perfect way for Kurapika to find new purpose in life and for him to become human again, in his eyes. Also, i am a little worried about the dark aura that Kurapika senses from her sometimes, but i really dont know what to make of that as of now.

Anyways, you did it! thank you so so much for reading i really appreciate it! If you have anymore thoughts please come send me an ask or something im always open for discussion! always!!

[kyeomblr-remade]

hi hello, its your carat anon once again :)

I listened to all your recs. I actually know about half of them already bcs I actually have my own (kpop) disco/retro playlist already hahaha... and including BIBI in the recs>>>>>. I love her music, i think shes currently my fav female soloist. but i also thought lazybaby was a very fun song and i didnt know it, also love me 4 me had a very nice vibe. actually all were very nice.

about traveling... i currently dont travel at all. i think the last time i traveled anyway was fall 2019. i mean there a lot of places i want to visit but most of them need rather much preperation or/and planing as well as enough money hahaha and i currently have neither. Do you travel a lot? What are the top destinations on your bucket list?

about my bias in ptg... hahaha good questions i think thats the group i struggle with the most. i have a hard time with almost any group i stan but i cant even decide on sth like a bias line bcs i feel i love of them almost equally. i think there never was a group where i cared less about which pcs i got for my albums hahaha, i am happy about each member. maybe you can tell which ptg member vibes i give off and i will just stay with whoever as my official bias from then on (jk)(maybe not kidding)

my three fav things of my bias... well they probably will give it away but thats fine, it was nice keeping you guessing until now. first thing i really like about him is the passion and energy he puts into every performance of theirs, not only dancingwise but also vocalwise and everything (his dancing is everything tho). and the second thing i really like about him is that even tho it feel like hes one of the most ambitious members he does not take himself too seriously when needed in the given situation and can laugh about himself. and the third would have to be his incredibly positive mindset. he seems to always find reasons to motivate himself and the group even if everything seems to be going wrong.

what are the things you like most about seokmin?

also i noticed the next mission started already? the theme is gaming kind of. besides dont lie, what do you think are the best "game" episodes of gose? maybe your top 5 or sth? i think no matter what they play they always are hilarious.

as always i hope you are well <3 ok bye

hai ! <33 omg i would love to hear your retro playlist if you wanna share it !

oh yea im in the same boat ; really dont travel that much ! usually i go visit family abroad once a year; in norway, russia, the caucasus,.. but other than that i didn't get to explore much yet :-( like u said travelling is expensive, and the pandemic has made it sososo much more complicated. this trip was actually my first since the pandemic started oof ;; once this thing blows over and i have some money to spare i hope to visit south africa or new zealand once ! and explore europe more !! cause travelling here is so easy and convenient, i feel like im not taking advantage of that enough,,, i think it'd be fun to do a roadtrip around europe someday ^^ what about you?

aww yea the ptg boys are all super loveable and talented in their own ways,, i was swerving lanes all the time when i first got into them myself (until kino stole my heart in shine era <333) so im not faulting you 😌😌 then, do you maybe have a favorite pair dynamic?~ i adored maknae line’s interactions <33 and do you maybe have a favorite friendship in svt too?

HM OKAY SO !! hoshi was actually my second guess, after minghao, but im reading your description and it could be either hoshi or dino ? or maybe i completely missed the mark and its someone else, but judging from your emphasis on dance im 75% sure its a performance unit member (tho it is svt after all, they’re all great dancers) 🤔 from our interactions u definitely give me more horangdan vibe tho ! <3

what i like most about dokyeom,,, um we could be here all day 😳😳 but i would say, my absolute favorite thing about him is how sincere he is <3 i don’t know him personally so i obviously wont claim hes a pure angel who does no wrong ever, hes admitted it himself too, but i think it speaks to his charm when all his co-stars and colleagues go on and on about how hard working and lovely he is ! i get the impression that he genuinely wants to be kind and do good, and hes shown time and time again that he constantly strives to learn, grow and improve in his professional career and as an person too,,

i remember watching 17project when i first got into svt and i didn’t really have a bias at the time, but when dokyeom said that he “wants to sing until he loses his voice” i instantly knew he was the one. not cause i felt bad for him or pitied him, but i thought.. wow this kid's so young and despite all the setbacks hes still so determined and passionate, hes so cool :-( and um,,, sorry i just went on and on lmao but TL;DR yea idk i just think hes very neat <3

omg okay so it’s always a blast when they play mafia, obviously ! it’s one of my favorite games too; we play it w family all the time and i was a very dedicated town of salem player once upon a time lol i really loved bad clue too, basically any games where they have to solve something and/or put their thinking hats on, those are my favorites ! OH and insomnia,,, and the tag!! where they had to escape the murderer’s lair or something ! speaking of games, would you consider yourself a gamer?~

hope you’re well too, thank u <33