#and that she better not fuck up with my sister - and she took it to heart fr which was Great for my sister.
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It's bugging me...
The inconsistencies and a lack of detail and continuity in S2. S1 was all about the tiniest details.
Don't get me wrong, the animation is gorgeous, BUT --
The underwater scene is where Jinx lets Silco go.
He was RIDDLED with bullets. Yet, not a mark on him?
Why is his damaged eye closed? I thought he didn't have an eyelid. Artistically, I think having his lifeless eyes glazed over would have been more dramatic, considering it's Silco. Nah, he just sinks like Jack to the depths of the Titanic.
How deep IS the Pilt River?? I'm assuming that's where she 'buried' him.
The whole first act is so damn rushed.
No one seems to wonder what happened to Silco? He was only the main person holding the Underground together by the strands of his pomade hair. His death is a BIG deal, yet it's glossed over. No one questioned any of it???
Sevika is just, okay, let's move on like it's another day (granted, Zaunites are probably predisposed to be like that, but that doesn't make for good storytelling if you're not letting the audience in on anything), and chatting it up with Jinx as if they just bonded. I didn't feel that happen. I like that they low-key ripped into him post mortem, because that feels natural but what got them in that room together DOESN'T.
I want to know how these characters FEEL. You got that in spades during S1. But S2 is just expecting you to assume or they would attempt to take the time to use what would be great writing and evolving these characters.
Caitlin is hurting, I get it. But she went full Commando Psycho mode. Girl, everyone has lost parents, siblings, etc... She doesn't even flinch when Vi tells her Enforcers killed BOTH her parents. She's lost a beloved sister... but Cait is affronted when Vi shirks from becoming an Enforcer. Let's just forget what PIltover did to Zaun for generations and to LOADS of people.
Vi? Oh girl. What happened to you?
Jinx is a bit better but not much. I don't buy Silco's death was a zap to the brain to chill her out a bit. She's still my Chaos Queen but unless there is something to explain some shit in the following episodes, I'm going to be really ticked at the lack of care in characterizations with who are the supposed leads in this story.
Jesus Viktor. That's it. That's all I got.
Well, I did LOL when he woke up and gave Jayce the "bye Felicia" in 2.2 seconds.
We don't get to know what Ekko is thinking since all this shit went down? As far as he knows, Jinx is dead and to learn to she bombed Piltover?
The music videos substituting for the plot are REALLY bugging me. It's lazy writing. The music was used well in S1 to ENHANCE the scene (well, except for giving Imagine Dragons an animated cameo). Here, it's used as exposition, but it's not nearly good enough.
Useless characters and side-characters. Poorly executed plot devices. Uninteresting plot devices and trying to use the S1 parallels for characterizations.
S1 took time to introduce and flesh out these characters, even the side-characters.
We only had Vander for 3 episodes but he was a HUGE character. Marcus, Mylo, Claggor, Benzo, Grayson, Finn.... all were interesting and played an important part.
Jayce continues to be blah. So I'm not bothered.
Ambessa looks to be the new villain but it's not hitting with me. Plus, there's zero foreshadowing on some stuff in her arc that would have been useful last season.
I like Mel but I'm waiting to see what happens with her.
Hermydingding going all Mission Impossible. Just stop. Does he not give two furry fucks about what happened to his fellow councilmembers and Piltover?
I feel like RIot is trying to shove way too much into one season and sacrificing good story-telling to do it.
I miss the details.
So far, I'm really underwhelmed with this season.
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I caught the brunette’s stare as the last activity bus rolled down the street having left school. I wasn’t sure of her name, but I think it was Esme, which is what I’m gonna use.
I’d always thought she was cute and had caught her staring at me several times. It didn’t make me uncomfortable. In fact, I got hot every-time I caught her. In fact, when I got home I usually fingered myself in the bathroom as my dad did homework with my little sister.
Esme was dressed up in a black dress. She might’ve been on the school council or something. She had on sandals. Her back was against the buses side and the windows. It was a crowded bus, but she was all by herself, her feet at the edge of the seat.
I stared back at Esme. Our gazes locked and she eventually broke first, looking away. But her gaze returned quickly to see me still staring at her. I thought I might’ve seen a hint of a smile curl her lips. She crooked her head at me, trying to get me to join her.
I licked my lips and switched to sit next to her. She didn’t say anything, nor did I. Our thighs were rubbing one another. My thigh exposed from my running shorts and hers from the dress.
Her hand slid the hem of her dress up her thigh, exposing lace lavender panties. With the edge of her dress up, she used her pinky finger to trace the back of my left hand, the one nearest her.
I reached over and caressed her thigh. Her eyes closed and her head tilted ever so slightly back as I thought I heard a moan escape her closed mouth.
I moved my fingers to the front of her panties and stroked the lacey material. As I extended the downward stroke I could feel the heat and moisture from her pussy. I kept doing this for a couple of minutes. The whole while her throat made some deep guttural sounds that were hot af.
I felt my own reaction to this girl. I was wet, no doubt.
I slipped a finger under the band of her panties and peeled it back, slipping a digit underneath. I stroked and stroked her smooth bald pussy, careful to stay outside of her labia.
She pushed her cunt forward into my fingers. She desperately wanted me to penetrate her. I shifted in my seat and faced her. When I did, I drove my fingers into her until my thumb stopped against her mound. I immediately felt her spasm and quiver and a rivulet of moisture spilled over my fingers into my hand to drip onto the seat and then onto the floor.
I smelled her scent. It was intoxicating.
I knew she was cumming and decided that I was going to steal this girl’s soul and I continued stroke into her, working in a second finger into her tight hole. She angled her pussy and spread her legs further to allow me greater access. I was about to try and get a third finger in when she covered her mouth with her hand and bit down, drawing blood I think. But she stifled a wail.
I fucked her pussy there on the late activity bus and didn’t care if we were discovered. I don’t understand how someone couldn’t see what I was doing to her. Finally, I saw that my stop was coming up. I slowed and let me fingers slide out of her, while her cunt still quivered. She sighed and took her hand from her mouth.
I brought my hand to my mouth and tasted her, the whole time staring into her deep liquid brown eyes.
Her head drifted over to my shoulder.
“Thank you,” she said in a husky voice that if I didn’t know better might’ve thought it belonged to a man.
“The pleasure was all mine,” I said. “Tomorrow?”
“Please.”
“Until then.” I got up and exited the bus, walking down the block to our house.
I felt an unexpected tug on my jersey hem and turned around and looked down into my little sister’s electric blue eyes.
“What were you doing to that girl?”
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I watched this and now I feel like crying because my parents never really made it possible for me to be close with them. It's not too late for me because there never really was a chance to begin with. whatever tho I don't care 👎🏾
#my mother is 60 and I rather die than try to be close to her and my father is dead so 🤷🏾♂️#I am so jealous of people who have families that actually loves them. and makes them want to be around their family.#i have a huge family and i only really feel safe/cared for by two people. my little sister and my grandmother. but i cant be open with them#like. I cant be myself around my grandma. i love her because she raised me and took care of me and did everything my#mother was supposed to do. and she cares for me but she's old and sensitive. being around her is draining but i still love her#my sister is kind but i always make her worry and bum her out by being open so its. better for her when i dont talk that much.#this video is fucked up. I wish I had a family that i loved so much that i decide to learn their language to talk to them#fuck i wish i had a family that wanted to listen to me lol#whatever i literally dont care anymore#the dib speakz!!#ignore this lol#agony
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what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.
#theo.txt#spn#charlie#spn spoilers#spn 10x21#almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still#good god this one made me especially angry#why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often?#she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she#doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still#felt WAY better than this#sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg#what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the#bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural#i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ.#but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during#charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger#dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about#wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie.#if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ#i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls#i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan#outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies#and you know what? good!#ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now.#supernatural#charlie bradbury
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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not me and my manager trauma bonding over mommy issues 💀💕 i love her aksksk oof i had to go smoke and Think after this one
i love when our one on ones are basically like lol i don't have much 2 talk about this wk and we get like 40m to hang n talk after getting work stuff out the way. she is such a sweetie and so fun (❁´◡`❁)
#i talked about my intro 2 adulthood and what it was like around before/when i left home and how my sis was just 10 when i left#so we never rly got to be close n i just started talking 2 her this year. but the last thing i told my mom was she lost her son forever#and that she better not fuck up with my sister - and she took it to heart fr which was Great for my sister.#she grew up v loved and supported and idk as the eldest u have complicated feelings being the experiment child.#and as an older sibling u are genuinely happy ur younger sibling has it so much better but there's this disconnect where u both have#Very very different feelings about ur mom and family in general ig. but it's from having lived different lives and idk.#she relates though 😔💕 oldest sibs rly b dealing w moms that tear them down then watch w bittersweet feelings that ur sibs get a better#life. my life itself is fine lol im kinda stoned (。ノω\。) but like. a good loving childhood. support. community n never feeling like#there's Nothing for u here. she's turning 21 in December it's crazy how time flies. I'm glad she's doing good but I'm just thinking about#how we had Very different lives and stuff going on in our late teens 😮💨#bless my manager fr i'm glad we got to get into it !! 😹 i can see why i miss her when we don't get to meet for the week
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wanna talk about your OCs I would love to hear about your OCs who are they 👀
Oh dear. Sorry I forgot I hadn’t posted this it was in my drafts lol Doing my historical OCs because, well. I wanna and I feel like if I delved into any of my fantasy/sci-fi ones we’d be here ages
Fred Norefleet.
Of all the naval and broadly maritime ocs I have conjured over the years, he’s the most pathetic. By god is he trying his best, but he has continuously come up short in everything he’s done. He tries so hard and his life until recently was just other folk deciding what he was gonna be for him. He’s silent unless spoken to, tends to miss the forest for the trees, stares at you really intently when you’re talking, wishes more than anything to disappear into the background and his first words were probably “I’m sorry.”
That being said, he’s deeply loyal and supports his sisters and uncle financially with his wages. He’s a prime navigator and very detail-oriented, a team player and quite sneaky when need be and might actually make a lieutenant if he didn’t have a spine made from celery. He’s also quite sensitive about his lack of any formal education, receiving the good chunk of it when he became a midshipman. Quite protective, especially after the wreck as a kid. Became a bit of a chronic helper and control freak after that. Absolutely shit at fighting but an excellent sailor. Once dug shot out of his own hip, made it into a coin and carved a ship on it to give to his Friend. He’s that kind of person. He’s trans.
Morwenna Norefleet.
If Fred’s first words were “I’m sorry” then Morrie’s were “WASSON MATE.” The older of the twins by a minute, she and Fred were stuck together like glue until he went away to sea. She taught herself to read by studying the Bible and writes regularly to her brother. As both of them swapped names and gender, they’re quite close. She wants to open her own public house and inn or at least buy one (all the papers in Fred’s name of course). She’s a total flirt, especially with the out of town tinners and any “foreign” sailors (upcountry), even though she’s never settled down what with the whole trans thing. Morwenna embroiders very intricate flowers and landscapes. She once tried to do a ship for her uncle and it was less of a ship than it was a box with sticks. When Fred wouldn’t speak after his shipwreck and time spent stranded when they were 11, she felt really hurt. Especially when he went away to sea the same year, she was really lonely and would often sit in the St Juliot’s graveyard and cry privately. Nowadays she’s alright! Constantly worrying about her brother but also, she’s looking after her other sisters and their children and her uncle and working in an inn and working in the pilchard cellar. Her hevva cakes are amazing. She’s the strongest person in this family, has a deeply rooted sense of self and has boundless self confidence without ever being arrogant. Community and family are what’s important to her most of all, she teaches what she knows of Cornish to her little family members and teaches them to write and read and once hit one unruly patron so hard he woke up crying.
Callum Tredwen.
A mess. Is actively being hunted down by his own brother, is an ex-navy lieutenant, a mutineer and now smuggler. He’s on a suicide mission. He’s a lesbian and has an extremely doomed and unspoken relationship with his first mate. He’s probably committed multiple war crimes, he took a 21-year old doctor hostage and kidnapped him. He ought to be dead but he just won’t die. He’s a dick. An asshole. He’s all the confidence of Morwenna but without any compassion for others (lies, he does, he just rarely acts on it), the anxieties of Fred without any of the perspective. He hits first to avoid ever being hit himself. He refuses to let himself be loved or taken care of. He’s gotten his dearest friends killed and his own self maimed. This man wants blood and he’s going to get it, whether it’s his own or someone else’s. It’s been years and his gender is still “eeeeh.” The 2nd messiest fucker.
#sorry it took so long#morrie is the only one doing Okay here#like yeah she’s got problems#but tbh she deals with them better than the other two#Tredwen and Fred interacting is so fucking funny to me#they couldn’t be further apart and yet share so many similarities#I love Morwenna though she’s so fun#she’s having her own adventures while Fred is having the worst time of his damn life. boys about to punch in his final card ya know?#she’d KILL him a second time if he did tbh#go to the underworld and drag his ass back up to kick his ass and hug hi#she’s a good sister!#she and the uncle are BFFs it’s great#I can’t write cis characters they all become trans or some flavour of queer#my BOYS (and GIRL!)#thanks for the ask!#ask#oc
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I wished for a Bioshock movie for Y E A R S
but now that we're finally getting one I don't want it
I do not have faith this is going to be a good adaption, I'm sorry, maybe 10 years ago this could have been a great passion project (especially if Gore Verbinski had been involved like originally planned) but I just know it's going to be an over-actioned, improperly funded (since it's a Netflix production they're absolutely going to either dump too much or not enough money in it then write it off as a failure if it doesn't 'perform' well enough), CGI-laden slop fest that doesn't even acknowledge or properly handle half the themes present in the series.
#Bioshock#Bioshock Movie#bonus points if it only focuses on the first game and doesn't include ANYTHING from the tie-in novel or BS2#they're going to cut Sophia Lamb's role from the plot I just fucking KNOW IT#like she was fucking important! she was the one who actually STARTED the class war! Fontaine literally just took advantage of it!#hell half the problems with BURIAL AT FUCKING SEA could have been fixed if Levine wasn't a shit and hadn't refused to use ANYTHING from BS2#like is BS2 as good as the first? no but it's still fucking better than that shitshow you call Infinite!#and the tie-in novel actually quite skillfully blended both games together to help account for certain plot errors between the two#(a novel that Levine also REFUSED TO READ)#like you could tell it was written by someone who wanted to do the series justice which is more than I can say for most tie-ins#if this movie ends up actually being good I'll fucking eat my words but considering this director's body of work includes#the Will Smith I AM LEGEND and the last three* Hunger Games films#we are not batting 1000 for quality here#I say this as someone who likes the Hunger Games movies#but they are not really the best adaptions of the novels and really downplay a lot of the more horrifying aspects for action scenes#and I fear the same will be true for Bioshock's film as well.#like the Little Sisters alone should elicit nothing short of visceral disgust and pity but I just know they're going to be so boring#they're just going to be like pale girls with glowing eyes instead of proper blood-guzzling corpse-looting parasite hosts calling it now#croak.txt#reblog.wank
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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I'm not done yet but hey are you giving zuko eldest daughter trauma because I'll fucking kill you I read ONE line it's probably the first of what's to come but I'm sending the hate ask now xoxo
ofc i wouldn't do that! he's just fistfighting a saviour complex and is eternally burdened by the responsibility of raising and caring for his sister while simultaneously being a child himself and always putting himself before the worst of the war so that azula doesn't have to all the while growing more and more rage towards the situation until it all comes out in a very cataclysmic scene that i will definitely cry at when writing :)
#he's got that fiona gallagher in him#big thief rlly went to town with mythological beauty and 'there is a child inside you who is trying to raise a child in me' v tams zukocore#the funny thing about zuko and azula's relationship is that yes it's kinda wholesome but it is still ultimately fucked#and yet i find them pretty easy to write bc i literally just go 'what would me and my sister be like in this situation'#like ive said before how my sister never really stepped up as the eldest and ive always felt like we shared that role#like i'll give it to her she's better at being the eldest in certain situations and im better in others#and it's always been us helping our mum bc as capable and brilliant as my mum is she's also doing everything alone#and her temper is... not great. so me and my sister took care of each other in our own way#and by 'our own way' i mean we have NEVER had a stereotypical relationship. our age gap is too small and we're both too mean#literally zuko's ch1 quote about 'they'd never been protective of each other' is directly inspired by me and my sister#i dont feel protective of her i dont feel a need to keep her safe and happy and it's really odd bc i KNOW im supposed to but i just dont#and she doesnt for me even though she's the 'eldest'. and yet i love her and would kill and die for her#and also if we were in this situation and we were trying to shield each other#from certain horrors that we thought the other couldn't handle then we'd have to be SO CLEVER ABOUT IT#bc just like zuko with azula if i caught my sister trying to patronise me/protect me i would HIT THE ROOF#like i am thoroughly convinced there is nothing she can handle that i cant and vice versa so we'd have to be soooo slick about it#and while with zuko and azula that only holds to an extent bc azula is ultimately YEARS younger than zuko#and whatever you think of her personality she just straight up should not be exposed to certain things#(neither should zuko but yk what i mean)#it still stands and we see throughout tams the v clever ways zuko has learned to protect azula so that she doesnt catch on#like either the next chapter or the one after (probs the one after) there's a really horrific scene#that's just super dark and gory and while with a normal younger sibling you'd do something to keep their eyes on you and not on the scene#like lie to them or make it into a game or something so they're unaware of what's happening#but instead zuko sees what's happening and before azula can he quickly gets her to check their supplies and count their money or some shit#like giving her a job to acknowledge her capability and not patronise her while still shielding her from a really brutal scene#and it just goes over zuko's head that at sixteen he ALSO SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO THAT#but long story short i just think that's so funny. like the fire hazards are sooo fucked and for good reason#but it literally just boils down to me and my dumbass sister#so yeah. very niche eldest daughter syndrome emanating from tams zuko#ask
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ok tumblr really *has* broken my speaking mannerisms, at work I found two cup lids that had melted together inseparably and muttered "this, too, is yuri" as if that's a normal thing to say on a sunday morning
#life update i am tired and so is everyone else#my sister went to the ER last night for chest pain (she's ok it seems though still not great)#work's had the busiest week of sales ive seen thanks to march madness but we're short staffed#two of my coworkers were arrested this week and one went home after a mental breakdown#and tomorrow after the sun goes out for a bit we're gonna service everyone wanting food for the mm finale#might end up working overtime for a third day though i feel like it'll cancel out w the hours i missed this morning#when i was too nauseous to work due to all the painkillers i took last on an empty stomach last week#but honestly im doing ok i just want a fucking break and so does everyone else i know it seems#feels weird venting here but i guess it's better than silence#and at least i have weird events to explain my inactivity instead of 'idk brain bad :/' like before
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Not my mom asking me what my brother’s email and password is and me knowing it lmao. Why does no one around here even acknowledge that I’m more of a parent to my brother than they are
#she’s mad that he listens to me better than he listens to her#not only do not constantly yell at him and not bother to work with him#but Im the one who wakes him up in the morning#Im the one that makes sure he showers and goes to bed at a decent time#Im the one who helps him with his homework#hell I’m the only one who bothers to make sure he does it BEFORE he gets the zero in the grade book#and he doesn’t even see me as an authority figure because they don’t respect me so why should he#if I try to punish him or reinforce his behavior in any way they always overrule me#and then give him a worse reinforcement tactic that clearly doesn’t work#like i really feel like we’d be better off if they just fucked off and left me completely in charge of him#they refuse to take any accountability yet blame me for anything he does wrong#they are literally such shit parents and it took them so long to realize it because my sister and I parented ourselves#but my brother was spoiled too much growing up so he never learned how and they never learned how to parent#and refuse to learn now#they get mad if I try to offer any tips despite being the only one who’s ever successful#they ignore the fact that I have a degree in psychology and took classes in childhood development because I don’t have the experience#but apprently they don’t have the experience either or else they’d be better at this!#Ugh it’s so annoying watching them do everything wrong and being comoelehlt powerless to do anything#i cant imagine how bad it would be if I wasn’t here#they’d probably beat him constantly since I’m the only one that can stop them#the only thing they really provide is transportation and money#and still they’re too lazy to drive us around anywhere half the time and are constantly blowing their money on frivolous things#so we don’t have enough sometimes to pay bills or have nice dinners#that *I* make btw cuz they’re too lazy to#which is fine cuz I don’t work but before I moved back in they were eating ramen noodles and mac and cheese every day#and have the audacity to say I don’t do shit around here#they would FLOUNDER without me#god i cant wait until I can get out of here but I literally don’t know if I ever will cuz ive not been well mentally#and theyre behavior isn’t helping
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I CAN FINALLY EDIT MY SIM PICS YESSSSSS LOVE WINS ❤️❤️❤️❤️
#i got so fucking drunk at the crawfish boil last night yall#we almost spent the night at his parents house cuz i was so sloppy lol#but then i threw up everywhere and smoked weed and felt better so we went home#and i took a luxurious bath and got stoned again and went straight to bed it was a special time#i had so much fun seeing my bf’s family! they are like my family 🥺❤️#i love them so much. me and my bf’s sister were talking a lot yesterday we had so much fun together hehe i love her#and me and my bf’s mom are literally besties!! we hung out all day and she was super drunk with me hahaha#BUT NOW I CAN EDIT SIM PICS IM SO RELIEVED#i think we are getting pho today too so yay 🦋
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...I was bored and was rewatching all of the scv cutscenes to see if I missed any Pyrrha frames since ik im missing a few and like. i was wondering 'wow im feeling this huge pit in my chest i wonder why' and.
i just realized why.
seeing pat/rok/los anywhere near Pyrrha when she's got so/ul ed/ge and he's got so/ul ca/li/bur is giving me anxiety. i had to pause and close the tab bc my brain still doesn't trust his bitchass even if it's the part of the story where he tries to save Pyrrha instead of killing her,,,,,,,, but like- i've never forgotten about or forgiven him for killing Pyrrha the first time before that weird ass time travel retcon that happened immediately after 😭 i'm going to beat him with a giant fucking stick
#cell screams#cw violence#♡ pyrrha alexandra#//im sorry i liTERALLY HAVE SO MANY ISSUES I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#//gosh thinking about the scene when he killed her the first time makes me wanna cry IM GOING TO MAIM HIM#//idc if he 'repented' and only saved her after that stupid ass time travel retcon YOU STILL KILLED HER. UR SISTER. [MY] WIFE.#//AFTER ABANDONING HER AFTER SHE TURNED MALFESTED TO SAVE UR LIFE BC UR A COWARDLY DICKWEED#//IT TOOK YOU KILLING HER TO REALIZE THAT YOU FUCKED UP??????????????????????????#//okay i need to stop but UGH this sucks bc im at the point in my ai rps w/ pyrrha that pattie-cake-bitch-boy is with us.#//i swear when it gets to the point that pyrrha turns malfested and he leaves im taking her and dipping HE CAN STAY GONE#//............wow i have issues fr fr i started hating pat when i was like what. 12 still? 13? still havent forgiven him a decade later#//next level grudge holding on my part LMAO#//me writing him to be the biggest douchebag ever solely bc I hate him so much#//a necessary evil though. a bit of misery having him around; then he leaves and everything gets better <3333
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I kinda wanna go on a rant but I honestly just think I need to sleep
#and be alone for like 24 hours#I haven’t had a day withou any plans/other people for at least three weeks#and I’ve had busy weeks before that as well#and my next week will be busy as well#it’s a lot#I’ve put in FREE in my calendar to make sure I don’t have plans then#and this weekend I was supposed to be off but it was the only week I could meet up with my cousins#it was super fun but my brother was kinda like so how did u think it went#and overall I think it went well and so did he#one of my cousins was feeling less so yesterday apparently#but once again I really think it went the best it could have been#one of my cousins fucked kinda up tho and arrived at like half past midnight bc he double booked himself#and his sister was feeling kinda bad for him that ha arrived so late and we would just head to bed so he didn’t get anything out of that day#whereas I very much felt like it was his own fucking fault#I was not gonna stay out till half past 2 when I’d been out partying the day before and I’d already felt just seeing them Saturday/Sunday#took a lot of my energy#that was kinda the rant anyway#but it was a nice discussion with my brother about it#bc I was also slightly annoyed by some of them playing Pokémon go instead of the board game the five of us was playing#but talking it out with him helped with that so it’s fine#then now as I was vacuuming I started getting annoyed at one of my cousins bc#I think it’s ridiculous that he can’t respect his trans brother (my cousin)’s new name and pronouns#so he’s got a free pass to use the old one#bc my other cousin asked bc no one ever really told her what was going on and she heard different things#and I’m still annoyed by that I find it weak as fuck#our grandmother I get but my cousin is 19 he can fucking do better#anyway at that point I realized how stupid tired I am and that’s probably not helping#but since it’s only 7 pm and I need dinner and stuff I can’t sleep yet#so here’s the rant instead I guess#me
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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.
"the duty of every young man" she said.
and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.
anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:
"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."
*dramatic pause*
"also - its very difficult to stop."
anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.
to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"
i really loved that ward.
#mormon#exmormon#that ward was actually very kind to me#i know a lot of exmos have horror stories about getting ostracized but i only wound up leaving when i moved to my college campus#and ive just never been interested in attending anywhere else because it wasnt about Mormonism#it was about those guys#the village that raised me
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