#and that last part is what rlly gets me
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moth-flowers #21
#moth flowers#comics#my art#blood cw#autobio comics#pen and ink#Made this one a few months ago a little after we first made out and i was lowkey getting rlly obsessive and it sucked ass#Like recognizing its infatuation doesn't make it go away as it turns out ToT#Anyways. we were fwb for a while and it was cool n chill then they ended it. and i thought i was cool n chill and over it but SIKE#They get a BF and I am consumed by an overwhelming amount of the Jealousy Beast and overall lots of Big Emotions.#That was what the 'dyke drama' post was about btw#Its been a few days I'm doing a lot better and I'm greatful for that. lotta help from my friends by just hangin' out and talking and asking#For their opinions n shit. been pretty good. made a cake and it fucks and im so sexy for that actually#Like damn the person who was lowkey my ideal partner told me they weren't in a place for commitment#And then they get into a commitment. and although i know it realistically wouldn't have worked out in the long-run (I'll b moving. they def#aren't) I was still fucked up about. But I bet I'm a better cook than him. and also sexier and cooler#(IM ACTUALLY FRIENDS WITH THE GUY AND HE'S PRETTY COOL BUT ALSO LIKE. LET ME BE A PETTY I THINK I'VE EARNED IT)#Annnnywayssss. This is lowkey one of my fav comics i think :D i mean i feel that way about most of them.#But i REALLY like the way the perspective n stuff turned out. like ough fuck yeah#And i make references to the last line all the time with friends that I've shown this to.#ramble in the tags#Thank u to whoever is reading this. pls share ur thoughts and experiences! connection and shit is one of my fave parts of this <3
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do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc
short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333
#long answer part 1: i make enough off my etsy to afford my stuff (and i really don't buy much) and help out w th food bills where i can etc#i hvnt been able to do much of that OR save anything for the past couple months bc i hvnt been selling much BUT . things are beginning#to pick up again and i hve new stock to add when i get back from holidays :3#i have a smallish job lined up from my agent which is exciting! but hopefully i will make enough w her doing picture books etc to be able#to pay my keep / save more etc! i hve been anxious abt money this past months but thats just more so money for me to spend on small stuff :#i also dont drive so . i dont rlly hve many outwards expenses . im very lucky to have him hes very kind and lovely !!#if i wasnt w him and he didnt hve a house i would still b living w my mama which i did since i left uni!#long answer part 2: i always make time for goofing off during my work day. always!!!#part of the joys of being a freelancer! i can do what i want!!#i can share my routine in more detail if u guys want but i dont start work until abt 2pm-ish most days bc i dont rlly work well in the#mornings. when i hve more work that might change!! i have enough on to keep me busy but im not rlly hvin 2 manage my time u kno#im very very lucky to be in such a comfortable position :3 i hope one day u can be as comfy !!#oh also. i think once the agency work kicks in i will b fine financially ! and also u can absolutely make a living off etsy when its good#its very good for me ! i was very comfy financially around xmas last year i made a lot#u can do it u can do it !! art will always sell !!
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oh no ive started looking at takumi's outfit. if i were to cosplay him that'd be like a several year commitment thing with my speed and how well i'd want to get it done, he wears expensive materials. i'd have to do so much research into how his armor is constructed bc i dont get the point of the white thing that's his collar and stuff. it's kind of like an apron in the front but in the back it's a triangle. also that piece would need very rigid structure for it to not only stay up but not slide. im not really a pattern maker and i wouldnt even know what kind of a pattern to look for as a base id modify for it. his shoulder pieces also make my brain hurt. and i think the costume would be very hot to wear and i'd risk a heat stroke any time other than in the middle of winter. im starting to think im only thinking about cosplaying him bc he might be my fave so far and he has a bow
#i did archery for like 2 years when i was a teenager and that became too big of a part of my personality#there was this. idk what to call it. like an archery club organization thing? anyways they let ppl under 18 attend their classes free#including borrowing the organizations equipment and stuff#it was rlly fun!#and i kind of miss it bc it feels sooo good to pull a bow and hit a target#but im afraid of getting back into it bc what if its not chill casual#what if i need to be good at it#also i did archery around the same time i did riding (at a small local place with horses. it's ridicilous how expensive riding is in big#cities. id have to drive half an hour minimum to even find a stable and then the prices are just. unblievable. in my hometown it used to be#affordable for like. uuhh.. middle class? people. both my parents had jobs and we lived in a house so thats probably it. anyways.#in a big city idk if i could afford riding even after i get my last courses done and start getting an engineers paycheck....)#this is. way past the point#also actually about the parents job thing. when i was growing up they both were factory workers like most ppl where i grew up#and my mom decided to study to become an accountant (it's a high school level study program so a vocation school) when i was in high school#nd last i heard of her she was the head of finances in some company which is so wild to me#i means she is built for the corporate world but it's such a big difference in a very short time#anyways the cosplay. i dont think i will do it. but if i start looking at fabrics a bit too closely please stop me#leevi talks
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the little jrue is Traumatized by the Horrors of working fast food

#me receiving surgeon of the yr award for a job i literally just started and consider part time nd dont consider myself that job title#i used to volunteer my help around the rlly Rlly bad traumas of chicago and was begged employment#management is weird af of course bcs it's basically one burnt out bitch with a bunch of other burnt out bitches (everyone else) and very#VERY understaffed. hence my last second 16hr i survived#i cant even go in depth anywhere on what i do vs what i get billed for cus yea. does not even compare#but yea it's str8 up pitiful this job economy and it always will be#at least struggle in smthing u like or struggle on the side while u work a real one or watever idc#OH a funny thing to note i drive past a sign of demar in a bulls uni cus they didnt take it down yet#and it's riddled with Gun Shot Wounds like it's hilarious#id take a photo but it's on a busy road where u get yelled at not for going over 50mph#why is his hat shaped like the butt of a bread loaf lol
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for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.
#but it’s chill it feels like a good part of the tumblr ecosystem most of the time i’m like just there enough to be like yuppp i know that#guy. sometimes u talk abt them and im like i just don’t know if its that crazy. then u say some other stuff and i’m like ok that is lowkey#crazy but still i think even if i ever watched it. which i dont rlly plan on. but if it happened i think id have to move in silence#oh god a skunk went off right outside my window man 🙄😒😒😒😒😒😔 anywayzuh i don’t think i need to contribute to any of these conversations but#god knows i love to jump on anything to give my thoughts. so. we shallnt#abby talks#and well u know i’m sorry i think u have to know i’m on a fragile branch (my way of saying thin ice obnoxiously)#when it comes to any of these shows. let alone these circumstances. like u have to know i’m looking any going hmm… is this really just some#guy tho. bc like many such cases. it feels good to know it’s a lot of dykes but like when is the last time everyone flocked to a character#as such. i’m blanking. it certainly can’t be unprecendented.#what are u SAYING bro 🤣😎‼️😭#ok woah this is so terrible im hungry i dont want to go downstairs and make food come back up and have to go down and brush my teeth again#but i don’t think i have anything up hereeee… and either way it smells of a skunk fucking everywhereeee. i say from the place ive been#sitting the past 15 minutes. in my bed <3#i feel like i’m confessing my sins#but what i was getting at is there’s certainly something there. compels me#who said that president snow or smth
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well🙂
#*visibly trying not to burst into tears* hey guys whats up#surprise surprise another absence bc my life can’t stop getting WORSE evry day it seems haha!#so. now who’s gonna tell me how u deal w the loss of ur fave person n the one person u were 100% certain truly loved u no matter what#who also inspired u to be an artist in the first place n who's been there for u ur ENTIRE life#like idk how to start dealing w it lmao. one min ill be basically okay n then the next ill feel like smthing just tore a chunk out of me#looked outside just a sec ago n thought “oh so she'll never see my progress in art. oh ill never get to make another painting for her”#n yk part of me just wants to pretend like none of it happened honestly#like “hey that was a fucked up dream oh well let me call [x] n tell them I love them”#n I dont fucking KNOW how to deal w this grief n idk whats normal n what isnt#no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself#no I cant talk abt it but i can’t draw like I used to n thinking abt my last art project makes me wanna throw up#< considering it was going to be a present for her tht she'll never get to see. Haha so funny right guys#fuck I need to get so entirely drunk over this now RELAPSING TIME BABY!!#anyways. will try to be normal tm n talk to ppl again instead of isolating as a way to cope n sorry to ppl who have msg'd me Ill be back
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So I've FINALLY been consumed by BlurrBee but wanted to ask you something... How do you feel about ShockBlurrBee (the TFA one I mean)?
oh em gee hello it's been a hot minute since I've gotten an ask on this blog loll
Obviously I love Blurrbee, though I'm also a big fan of shockbee too. Sooooo. My thoughts on shockblurrbee...... Complicated actually!
At first I was like "mmmm I am not rlly a shock/blurr guy but. I can tolerate it with Bee buffer actually" but then I kinda fell off again bc I got super turned off by shock/blurr to an extreme degree </3
Now uhhhh . I think I can tolerate it again with the Bee buffer but I'm not super passionate about it. I think the tricky part is I see shockbee and blurrbee to be Very different timeline situations for them to respectively occur. Like idk, I often think Blurrbee ends up forming in a timeline where Bee closes off from Shockwave to heal alongside Blurr. While Shockbee I see it as Bee and Shockwave reconciling and that's how that conflict between them is settled. (Both situations I personally struggle to see blurr & shocks working things out. I struggle to vibe with them in general bc I see them not even having a particularly strong/"good" relationship before cubing anyhow)
BUT HEY that's just how I usually view these pairings and it's not canon at all. One can easily imagine a situation where they all grow close together, and I'll probably nod along with it and 👍. I'm not ur boss man be creative to ur heart's desires<33
#these days i also try not to let my grievances with fandom be my reasoning for disliking smth#even though i have . so . so many greivances with shock/blurr fandom. particularly in my frustrations for how blurr is portrayed#BUT WHATEVER . my main reason i dont rlly believe in shock/blurr is their relationship based on almanac entries by blurr#is blurr being frustrated with longarm as his boss and seeing him as foolish for his choice to assign him to earth#so i dont exactly get swayed by Oh blurr and shockwave had a tragic doomed toxic yaoi romance 💔✨....#i think they were just a boss and an employee lol. an employee that was judgemental of his boss even lmao#But thats not to say ive never liked shock/blurr content. i like my friend Loe's story with them#and honestly ive seen shockblurrbee that ive found cute too#THOUGH. ANOTHER TAKE. i think shockblurrbee works best as V formation poly.#in which the bee is the one with the relationship with the other 2 and not all of them together#but i dont hate when its all them together either thats fine#you'll never see me policing ppl for pairings that arent actually inherently problematic man.#like go nuts as long as its not like romanticizing abuse or whatevs#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦#I'll have to check what my ask tag was again i forgot it#blurb asks
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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ughhhhhhhhhhh why am i so prone to complaining
#seeing a youtuber i like making a redesign of hazbin hotel!#shes nice and shes just giving her opinions on the designs but although i wanna see what she has to say and how she'll do them#im getting rlly mad#rlly and unnecessarily mad#i want to see the vid and i will but ill just let this here coz i cant shut up#rambles#i see what shes saying about charlie's design#the princess and the hellish part dont pop up at all against the concierge motif#i will say that#edit: she does have a point. i like charlies design in the show better but shes got valid points. also vaggie IS a bit shallow.#i love vaggie but#she needs more development#i mean. i also see WHY: vaggie was an exorcist and if she was like. born in heaven instead of a winner as some theories say#then her only purpose of existence was to serve heaven and adam. we see she still has these issues like in episode three when she feels lik#she failed charlie she is very upset and we see her saying that if she doesn't help charlie she has no worth#or smth to that effect#but she does need more development i feel#hazbin hotel#edit 2: the body type thing is VERY true i love viv's work but she does need to work on her problem with super thin characters#vaggie's redesign is looking good. she looks more knight-y which fits but i think it went a little too far#if it was in the show it would be way less subtle and we wouldn't have that chocking reveal with her past as we did. but it looks very nice#im liking the vaggie redesign better than charlie's#edit 2.5: ok im calmed down im not mad anymore#i just disagree with some specific points#edit 3: YES. vaggie's moth motif IS not rlly showing lavender im happy you went more far with that.#i'm really liking vaggie's redesign thank you#edit 4: ok she IS critizing all the red (and more things surrounging it which she makes good points in)#but i don't really see a problem with the red. it's fine to me. weird#um she didn't do angel. what a shame#last one: alastor design criticism i agree alastor's design is SHIT
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-_-
#11 days to the leaving and only now am i drawing up what all i need to study#chronologically it makes sense to leave latin n music to the last bcos i have like a whole week after history to study for just them#and before that all of my exams are basically in the same week with allowance for the weekend#so i should focus on eng n maths particularly#n then bio and irish and history#but like. my history latin n music teachers r the only ones assigning work. for the exams i have the most time for. lol#like i can ignore the history n music teachers for the most part but like my classes w my latin teacher r one on one i CANNOT brush that of#so im here studying me fucking virgil ig instead of figuring out what im doing w the comparative#sigh. ok priorities ill make up that list of shit i gotta do for each subject#gotta suss out which movie im watching for eng and what poems n stories im studying for irish n what modules im doing for history! lol!#can u tell ive not been paying attention for like. 4 months.#remember kids: cramming is a cool and fun thing to do <- is in a pit#when the leaving cert ends i am going into my room never to be seen again for like a week.#and im getting me mam to buy me something for it. maybe a binder if i come out to her by then#oh well thats future talk. for now. figure out what to study. as ive already said twice#im playinh kh bgm to indulge in the hyperfocus while still getting study done n its kinda working#but mostly i just wanna play kh again...#i havent wrapped up the hades cup n i wanna restart com bcos i think i might know how it works better now#watched a one card deck challenge for recom and its the remake so some shits different but like. i get it now maybe#if nothing else gba com looks rlly rlly cute. the pixel art <£
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idk i kmow i care a little too much im not avoiding yhat anymore (as muxu. it took me an gour to figure out why i gave so much of a shit)
like . the other two pool tables were free, u were jus playing over there. why are u now infiltrating rgis area. and ik its not that deep but csn i add they literally spent the entire night on the other two tables. the knly time we played pool was the only time i saw them at the tsble near us .
there was no need to come over and talk to my coworker either <3 i will cut u ? what the fuck?
#it literally is not that fucking deep n yet my brain is chewing onvit like it matters .#oh i know he heard my quipt abt his actions n had a laufh upon recievinf my mssg actually. like ironic a little#anyway. this sickens me a lot and im sick of it and i cant escape it . vut a small minor part of me is getting a thrill from it#bc like . i knoe what i know . or at least what i think i know .#and unless im being fucked with (like severrly over a Long time)#idk am a lil paranpid all of rbis jus points to a rlly ling pyschosis episode (which is worrisome bc it means ive truly lost it)#lile my pyschosis lasts dor 2months MAX . im p good at catxhing jt (its pulling myself out of it i struggle with. not noticing it)#but this does have me wkrried i am going Insane fr <3#but . too much lines up for me to be Incorrect n Wrong or Insane rlly.#anyway . whatever im not drinking again#i got permission to drink n i thi k it was jus to show me why its not a good jdea. not that im chaotix#but . hmmm yea so much of it isnt fun anymore
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had the worst ocd day yesterday bc brain kept telling me if i actually let myself have goals or wish for something good then everything i already have will fall apart or be taken away even though i logically understand that isnt possible lmfao! and then i woke up sick this morning cant have SHIT in detroit bro
#bf was rlly sweet abt it he just gets frustrated bc he wants to help and give advice but im Too Self Aware and just need him to sit w me#he wants to fix it and he cant and ik that makes him feel bad bc he doesnt like seeing me go Trauma Mode and its not actually directed at me#its just that im so self aware that i already know what i need to do n it just feels like a lecture or a warning not to disappoint instead#like oh i know what i need to do im just Literally Paralyzed in Fear and scared everyone will leave me behind while i figure shit out!#like i dont believe in jinxing or that kind of higher power but SOME part of me does and cant accept that bad shit just happens sometimes#like no no see if i let myself admit that i maybe do want a life and a future and to marry the loml then it will all go away! bc reasons!#<- guy who had their identity stolen when they were already at rock bottom and couldnt cope w it so they developed magical thinking ocd???#like. if it can all be taken away when im at my lowest for no reason idk how id function if it happened when i actually HAVE SMTH TO LOSE#its the fact that it was for no reason. i didnt do anything wrong and yet everything still went to shit. why tempt fate by shooting too high#and i mean fuck i spent the last 10 years mentally preparing to be a poor laborer and self sufficient bc no ones coming to save me and now.#suddenly my bfs family is also my family and they have. money. money that id never even allowed myself to DREAM of having or wanting#and suddenly im sitting in a fancy house in front of a christmas movie lookin ass tree feeling like im living someone elses life bc i didnt#i didnt plan for this. i didnt think id ever have this option at all#like dgmw i am VERY grateful but im. having a hard time w imposter syndrome#shut up carter
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Silent Obsession

Pairing: Hwang In-ho (the front man) x Fem!reader
Summary: your husband was missing, and all you did for days was stay at home crying your eyes out...waiting for your dearest husband to come home. this was until inho had decided to come give you a little visit while you were all alone and vulnerable.
Warning: dead dove: do not eat, noncon, degradation, light bdsm, manipulation, In-ho is obsessed with you, rough sex, mentioned age gap (20 years), cheating (not rlly), there might be more but I'm too lazy to write it.
A/N: not proof read. this takes place during s1. (most/all of the beginning contains junho x reader content)
7.2k Words
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it was 2015, just a few days ago your boyfriend junho had invited you to meet his family on the day of his brothers birthday. his brother was turning 40 and they were hosting a small party, just a few people... and your boyfriend thought this would be a great time to invite you to meet his mom and brother. he was ecstatic at the thought, he really wanted his family to get to know you since last year he had met yours. and he was really serious about you... but it would be an understatement to say you were nervous. hell, you were scared. you wanted to leave a good impression on his family, this was the man you wanted to marry. if his mom didnt approve of you what could you say? she was wrong? that her opinion didn't matter? these thoughts swarmed your head for hours every day....
junho was driving the two of you from your small shared apartment to his moms place. you were sitting in the passenger seat as you stared out the window of the car, you were shaking... not from the cold but from the anxiousness you were brimming with. your fingers tapped against the interior of the car, your nails making a clicking sound every time they touched the material. "are you cold y/n? I told you itd be cold today..you should've worn a bigger jacket" junho glanced at you for a second before staring back at the road and sighing. he hated when this happened, when youd be so insistent in not 'ruining' your outfit that you wouldn't pay attention to whether you'd be cold or not. this always happens! ..but he always wears a jacket for you. because he knows you'll end up shivering from the cold gusts of wind and he cant stand the thought of you suffering from the freezing temperatures. you let out a small chuckle, it was barely over a whisper but junho heard you loud and clear. "why're you laughing.." he frowned a little, not because he's upset or mad at you but just because you werent taking the situation that seriously. "what if you catch a cold? at least think about me when you dress this way..you know I hate when you're in pain.." the last part of his sentence was soft and quiet, as if he was murmuring to himself..making sure you wouldn't hear him. "stop worrying so much babe...I'm not cold or anything.. just a little jittery, its my first time meeting your family after all." you giggled at his genuine worry for you, he was such a drama queen. making these small actions seem so much more serious then they were..but its something that made you love junho. how kind and protecting he was of the people he cared about. "nervous? you don't have to be nervous y/n...I'm sure they'll love you." junho's right hand made its way to your left hand. holding it tight before giving you a soft gentle smile. his ability to sooth you with just his smile had to be studied, he truly was an angel on earth to you, like he had a halo on his head 24/7. you leaned forward a little and left a quick peck on his cheek, quickly leaning back down to your seat and looking away from him. but at the corner of junhos eyes he could see how red you've gotten...he thought it was adorable. how the two of youve been dating for 2 years but you still got flustered over small kisses. you were so innocent and kind, the exact woman he needed in his life...
but little did junho know, he was right. his family did love you..especially his brother.
you had arrived at his mothers house, .. your nerves were spiking, how should you introduce yourself? what if the cake you made was still raw? what if inho doesn't like his present? these thoughts ran through your head as you two waited for someone to open the door. your finger nails tapping against the box the cake you had made was in. the sound deafening you as you just wanted the damn door to open already. you really just hoped youd make a good impression... after what felt like an eternity the door opened, behind to door revealed the birthday boy himself, Hwang In-ho. junho just shook his hand before you bowed at him slightly before shaking his hand and introducing himself briefly. "happy birthday In-ho, my names y/n" In-ho just nodded coldly at you, if the harsh winds outside didn't freeze you his stares did. he stepped aside, allowing the two of you in. he lead the both of you up the apartment complex stairs, your heels making a loud click sound echo though the staircase with every step you took. after only a bit of walking up stairs you had reached the door to where the party was being hosted.. . . when junho had told you itd be a 'party' you expected a family gathering with like 15 people, but upon arrival you quickly realized..it was truly just him, his brother and mom celebrating inho's birthday today. you were pleasantly surprised, you hated large groups of people..it made you skittish and always super nervous. so just 3 other people being there calmed your nerves down, alot. the apartment was small and cozy, very homey and nice. his mother had made a mini feast with delicious foods and decorated the place with a few balloons and banners. it was a seemingly wholesome sight of a mother doing something nice for her sons special day, it made your heart warm up inside your chest as you took a seat at the table. "hi honey, what's your name?" junho's mother grabbed one of your hands, cupping it with the both of hers. you felt yourself blush and smile, you had barely even been inside yet his mother was being so kind already. her soft gentle voice, and kind soft eyes. it was everything that's junho was. "y/n, what about you miss?" you were trying your best to be as polite as possible, you didn't want to tip her off and cause her to hate you.. but you felt kind of uncomfortable.. inho..he was staring at you alot. and it was like he wasnt trying to hide it, his dark eyes piecing into your soul. as if he were looking for the innocence inside of you... to take it away from you. the entire day just led to you getting more and more uncomfortable. you weren't able to stare into his eyes because you felt if you did he would just jump onto you not giving a shit about his mother and brother being there too. "y/n, what would you say if your favorite thing about junho?" inho spoke, his deep voice sent uncomfortable shivers down your spine.. this entire atmosphere..it was odd. but it was like only you caught onto it. you stared at inho before turning to junho...he was blushing. he tried keeping a stoic face but you could tell he was getting flustered before you even spoke. his ears tinted in a light pink an so was his neck. "ah.. well his kindness..I think its the main reason I fell in love...he's very kind and soft spoken to people. at least until they do something wrong..but either way he's an angel." a gentle smile took over your face, you stared at junho and then at inho to continue your sentence..it was obvious you were head over heels for this man.. "he's just a very likable man." inho smiled at you, not speaking a word but it was like his face said them all for you. but they weren't the words you'd expect a caring older brother to say, it was more like a .. 'wow how nice.' but in a sarcastic tone.. his mother on the other hand.. "aww how sweet! young love, its so beautiful." she clasped her hands together before grabbing your forearm and staring up at you with twinkling eyes, it was like she was already envisioning your wedding and family with junho. "promise me you'll take care of my son, okay?"
it was a little past 10pm by now, everyone had eaten a slice of cake and junho's mother adored it. junho was right, his mom did love you. she was already talking about marriage and how she wouldnt be surprised if you made the wedding cake because the one you had brought today was "just too delicious!" you laughed and giggled at her antics, your face flushed in embarrassment. you turned to look at inho, who was staring at you intensely. your happiness almost instantly vanished as you shuffled in your chair. maybe he was upset you hadn't given him his gift yet...that should do it!! maybe he'd stop once you did. "a- inho, I brought you a gift." his eyes widened and it had seemed like he just heard life changing news, maybe he really was just sulking over a present..it was kind of cute. you grabbed your bag from your feet next to you and shuffled around until you found a yellow box, you pushed it towards inho and smiled. your tried your best to give a genuine, heartfelt smile even though you felt uncomfortable with all his glances and stares. he smiled at you, this time it seemed a little less fake...but still not genuine. he opened the box, it was a watch. a very beautiful one. it was shimmering under the dinning room light, a light white silver with simple but detailed engravings on the band of the watch. it was beautiful and it definitely wasn't the cheapest, you don't remember how much it was exactly since you had bought it the same day junho had told you about his brothers birthday..but you knew it was enough to make you wince at the receipt. "I left the receipt folded under the cloth Incase it isn't to your li-" you were cut off by inhos voice, it was calm, not as cold as it was before..it was rather soothing even.. "no. its perfect." he put the watch on, adjusting it so it fit his wrist perfectly. you felt your lips creep into a wide smile, you were so glad this day was going perfectly. "wow, that's such a pretty watch! it must've costed you a lot." their mother interrupted the two of you, staring at the watch that sat on inhos wrist and then at you. "inho, say thank you! be polite." she hit the back of his head harshly, as if she were scolding a little kid... you laughed at the scene, mothers truly see their children as their babies forever. "no- its okay miss don't wo-" it seemed like today was full of interruptions and cut offs as inho did just it again. "thank you y/n, I appreciate it a lot." his face was blank again, no readable expression was there.. but based off his passed reactions..you felt he was being sincere. . . . "thank you miss, thank you inho." you bowed at the both of them while you stood at the front door with junho, showing your gratitude for their kindness and patience with you and your boyfriend. "of course honey, please come back any time you want." junho's mother grabbed your hand one more time, inho nodded along with her. he wasn't a man of many words but it seemed his scary demeanor had vanished. maybe it was never even there and you were just nervous..either way you were glad you didn't leave the house with a weird feeling about your boyfriends brother. juho's mother then shoo'd the two of you away, telling you it was late and you shouldn't stay up so late at such a young age... you felt happy. a warm feeling sat in your heart and stomach, it was like you had just found your second family.
time skip (5 years)
there you sat in the police station, its been days since youve last seen your husband. you were sobbing into the palm of your hands, the salty liquid dripped onto your long dress as you drained ever drop of water from your body. you were terrified. what happened to him?? where was he?? what had he gotten into? you were devastated to say the least, you explained with a shaky and quaky voice that your husband had just told you he was off to investigate his brothers vanishment and would be back by the night..like always! so when you woke up and he wasn't there you just felt dread. you texted him and texted him all day to no response. when he didn't come back for the second day you reported him missing. you reported this story to the police about 9 times already, everyday since you reported him missing you came to the police station for any clues or help..an obviously everyday they told you the same thing...that they had nothing. the only reason they didn't push you off to the side when you came in was well..because your husband worked for them. he was a police officer under them, it'd feel disrespectful to you and junho if they just told you to give up hope on finding your husband. maybe you'd stop after another week or two..you'd realize whatever fate inho had found was the same junho ended to aswell... and not only that but you were pretty, kind and in obvious distress over your husband. they'd feel like they just kicked a sick puppy in the stomach if they told you to go away. so every day, at 8am you come in. usually in a pretty sundress but your state of mind isn't as pretty. your eye bags were prominent and you seemed to constantly be in a state of dissociation.... "you promise there's nothing? please double check! please..I need my husband back. you don't understand" your words were exasperated and rushed, you wanted answers, your husband, closure, anything! your breaths were getting heavy as you reached your delicate hand to the tissue box on the desk infront of you. you felt yourself breaking down, more and more, every. day. the police officer let out a breathy sigh, he was trying his very best to not tell you off. to tell you to go back to your home and cry there or something. to stop wasting his time every single fucking day.. but he couldn't. and he wouldn't. not when your state was some of the worst he's seen in his years of being an officer. "listen ma'am, there seems to be a dead end a-" you slammed your hand onto the table, one still holding the now damp tissue as you started to cry harder. you shook your head violently, indicating a very obvious no...or in this case obvious denial. "no. there..there isn't a dead end. he's alive and he needs your help!! please..please keep searching i-i'll.." you started to dig into your purse, the same one junho had gifted you for your 5th anniversary not long before this whole ordeal. when you felt what you were looking for you snatched it out your bag, like it was grabbing it, stealing it from your grasp. "h-here..d-dont stop searching please. I'll give you this..p-please.." in between words you started to cry more, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping off your skin. your head was lowered and you were looking at your lap. you didn't want to stop looking for him. you wouldn't stop until you knew he was safe. "ma'am...you don't have to give me money for doing my job." he slid the stack of money that you had taken from your purse back to you and shook his head in disapproval. "listen.. sigh we're trying our best okay? we arent just laying around doing nothing, he was our coworker and we want to find him as much as you do.." he looked away from your depressing state, you were catching your breath and shaking, your fists were curled into balls. it was clear, even though he was an officer that he didn't want to find junho nearly as much as you did..he didn't think it would even be possible to. "just..take a break. you're overwhelming yourself and it isn't good for you. junho is strong and you know this, so just believe in him and his ability to live..."
the officer opened a drawer that was next to his seat, it was a little pile of candies.. he grabbed a handful and handed you a few. with a shaky hand you took the candies, your eyes were red and puffy. it was painfully obvious that you had just broken down in tears. you didnt want to speak but it was obvious by the way you acted, that all you wanted right now was for your husband to come back into your embrace. "if you want I can step out and let you calm down." the officer stares at you, awaiting the answer that would leave your lips. "no..its okay.. i-...whatever. thank you, I will take a break to calm down and compose myself. please have a good day." you mumbled the first few words, like a scared child who had just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar and is now making up an excuse. you let out a loud sigh before you stood up from your chair, rubbing your tired, sore eyes before fixing your hair and grabbing your bag. you turned around right as you were in front of the office door, you bowed at the officer to show your gratitude as you proceeded to touch the cold metal handle of the door and creaked it open. with a click of the door closing you were walking away from the room you had just broken down in.
there you were, sitting on the edge of the bed you and your husband shared. it felt cold every time you sunk your body into the soft mattress..cold and empty. you weren't used to this, you were used to your husband coming home from work and giving you a kiss. slipping into the soft blankets together as you worked as heaters for each other's bodies. you didn't like this. you didn't want this. you flopped your upper torso onto the bed, causing it to make a squeaking sound to the sudden pressure. your legs were dangling off the side of the bed as you stared up into the ceiling. the world around you felt hazy, like everything that surrounded your body was just an empty void of nothingness. the world was meaningless without junho. you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier...until they had finally closed shut.
knock... knock... knock you jolted up from your bed, who was here at this time? it's like 2am... you stared at the closed bedroom door, thinking about if it was a good idea to open the doorm. you're a young woman alone at her house at 2am...what if it was a sex trafficker trying to kidnap and rape you!!?? knock... knock... knock the loud but slow knocks echoed throughout the house, the knocks took a 3 second pause inbetween..it was so creepy.. it made your skin crawl.. bu...what if...what if the police have clues about junho and came to talk to you about it they heard of it!! or..what if junho had finally come home..... these thoughts rand through your head, you were scared of what might be behind of that door. but not scared enough to not open it. you slowly got up from your bed, making it squeak under the pressure of your body. your soft slippers made a swooshing sound against the wooden floors as you shuffled your way to the front door... knock... knock.... knock there it was...the knocking. you couldn't help but feel this dry lump from in your throat, but you had to do it...you needed to make sure... if it was some stranger you'd just slam the door on them and go and hide in a closet or something.. your swallowed the lump in your throat and placed your palm on the cold metal of the handle, unlocking it with a small click and turning it clockwise so that it opened the door.. you didn't open it alot, just enough to see who was on the other side. your eyes stared at the dark soulless eyes In front of you, it was a random man. you had no idea why he was here or what he wanted..but he looked very familiar..maybe he was an off duty cop that just wanted to check up on you..? "h-hello..? how can I help you..." your voice was small and quiet, barely above a whisper as you used the door as some kind of shield from the strange man. "yes. you can." you stared up at the man with confused puppy dog eyes, what did that even mean?? you furrowed your eyebrows and squinted your eyes as you stared at him..you were about to close the door on the strange man until something clicked inside of you. you recognized where he was from.. "inho?! w-what? what are you.." your judgmental facial expression quickly changed into one of shook and worry, was he here to see junho? how would you break the news that his brother was now missing too?? you raised your small hand to your mouth, covering it in shock..you didn't even know what to do....what should you say..? your eyes started to water and tear up, you were reminded of the harsh reality junho was in..he was seriously missing and now the person he went missing looking for was In front of you...it seemed like everyone was just against you. mocking the disappearance of your husband. "what...are you doing here? a-are you here for junho..he's.." you let out choked sighs after every other word, taking your hands from your mouth to your entire face. you were a crying mess In front of a man you barely knew, it was so embarrassing. you were so pathetic and sad. everyone's been telling you to just get over it but here you are, sobbing for what felt like the 6th time today. a loud sigh snapped you out of your saddened state,, but...it wasn't a sigh of disapproval or frustration...it was like a sigh of...desire. like he was getting off to the sight your sobbing, scared and fragile body. "you're doing this on purpose, you have to be." you stared up at inho with confusion. you eyebrow was raised, as if asking him what the fuck he meant by that. before you could even mutter a word he pushed you, really harshly. you went flying back into your home, head hitting the hard wood. you felt yourself getting dizzier and dizzier for a few seconds...you felt like you couldn't move, speak or even see anymore...your head was spinning and alarms were ringing from the inside of your head..until you were passed out.
you woke up... you were sitting in the middle of the dining room, it seemed like someone had moved the table and other chairs out the way as it was literally only you. you and the chair you were sitting on. the room was barely lit up, you could only see some of your surroundings due to the singular light that was on. the ligh that bulb was right on top of you..it felt like you were about to get interrogated for murder,,you were terrified. for you wanted to scream, cry and just run away from what was happening. but you couldn't. your ankles were tied onto the legs of the chair. your arms and torso were bounded to the chair itself with a thick rope., it was digging into your skin hard..it hurt. alot.. you wanted to squirm around and get yourself free but you knew you'd just end up knocking the chair down and you'd be stuck in an awkward position..you tried to start screaming but you couldnt, you were confused..it was like your mouth was glued shut.....your eyes darted around the room, looking for anyone, anything to help you. it took you a second for you to put the pieces together but.. once you did you realized.. your mouth was duck taped shut. you didn't know what to do, you were overwhelmed and you just wanted your husband back to you. you closed your eyes shut as warm salty tears fell from your eyes. your eyes just couldn't catch a break, could they? they were tired and sore. even when you werent sleepy it hurt to open and close the..a result of crying for days.. you just wanted to feel happiness again. but clearly that wasn't going to happen soon. was your fate going to be the same as your husbands? were his kidnappers after you to sew your mouth shut?? you didn't want to die..at least not because you got closure.. "you shouldn't cry Infront of me. its a bad idea. I have a thing for little girls that look pretty when they cry." your head jumped forward, looking at the figure that had stepped out the shadows surrounding you.. your eyes widened, remembering that inho had been the one that knocked you over and caused you to black out. the same man that had gone missing 5 years ago, the same man that your brother went missing looking for.. what was he doing here? was he here to kill you? to keep you silent? to assault you? thoughts rand through your head as he took large, slow steps towards you. as if he was mocking your frightened state. he reached his right hand out towards you, your eyes landed on the silver watch he was wearing. it seemed so similar to the one you had gifted all those years ago..but no way he would still be wearing it, right? before you could even process another thought his hand gripped at your hair, pulling your head back and forcing you to literally stare up at him. the roughness of his grip made you wince in pain..he didn't come here with intentions of being nice and if you didn't realize that person you definitely realized that now. you tried to scream and kick your feet, you knew the tape and rope would stop your attempts and make them useless but you still tried. your screams just came out as diluted, muffled noises. the tape had stopped you from making any loud noises... the chair under your only shook a little but it wasn't enough to lighten the grip inho had on your hair. his dark, soulless eyes stared you down. they were like black orbs, nothing behind them. he grinned at you, like he was watching a cartoon and a character had did something funny. he was laughing at you. he thought this was funny. "you look so stupid, you do know that the tape will just silence all your screams, right? or are you too young and dumb to understand that yet." he tilted his head at you and gave you a mockingly confused expression. he was having the time of his fucking life while you were here, scared for your damn life. you glared at him, trying to intimidate him..doing anything to scare him...trying to find the little humanity in him that feels sympathy was clearly never going to happen. so you had to try another approach..even if it wasn't going to work either... and your suspicions were right ..
he just smiled at you, another mockingly fake smile... he released his hand from the grip he had on your hair and pinched your cheeks, just as roughly as he did with your hair. leaving a red mark when he let go... it was like he was treating you like you were a pouting child, stomping your feet because your mom didn't let you buy the comically huge lollipop you really wanted. "youre not scary sweetie." the pet name made you want to throw up in your mouth. he knew well you were his sister in law but here he was, calling you pet names with his disgusting voice. " you know..ive had my eyes on you since i met you...you're just so gorgeous..and delicate." he took a short but slow walk around u and stopped to stand behind you. his cold hands reached to your face and covered your eyes. you couldn't see anything but you knew he was leaned up in your ear...you could feel his hot breath making you unnervingly uncomfortable. "I just wanna ruin you." your breathe hitched in your throat, he was going to rape you. you know it, you had to fight back, you had to. you couldn't let a man that wasn't your husband put his dick inside you. inho took his cold hands away from your face and walked back in front of you. you glanced down at his crotch and...there was a bulge...he was getting off to your scared shape. he truly was an emotionless sadist.. he held up his index finger to your covered lips. "shh. make any noise and I wont think twice about killing you and your husband." your eyes widened as you heard the last part...that meant your husband was alive..and he knew where he was. you nodded slowly, complying with his words. he ripped the piece of tape off your mouth, causing you to let out a yelp in pain. you stared at him with a frightened face, you realized you had just made a loud sound...you didn't want to die you didn't..you didn't want your husband to die! "I said. be quiet." the truth with inho was, he had already killed your husband..at least he thought he did. only a day ago did he shot junho, causing him to fall off the side of the island...he probably drowned and is floating lifeless in the sea right now.. but you didnt need to know that...and it was clear you weren't even aware. your mouth was shut and you tried to silence your heavy rapid breathing....you really did love your husband..he wanted to steal that love from junhos grasp. he leaned down, his face was now perfectly aligned with yours... you wanted to say something, you wanted to scream and cry but if you did he'd kill you...you knew he would... his left hand started to rub your cheek, it was gentle and warm but it just made you hate it even more...his fake kindness. you hated it. his lips connected with yours, at first it seemed like he was trying to be gentle but it was obvious he had quickly gotten bored of it before he got rough. your teeth were clashing with each other as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. exploring every inch of it before he started to nip at your lips...he was aggressive and messy. everything junho wasn't.. this wasn't the kind of kiss you wanted or craved. you felt like your eyes were sewn shut the way you refused to open them, you didn't want to stare at inho. you just wanted this to end..maybe once it did you'd finally have your husband back. after what felt like hours of making out he has finally took his chapped lips off of your soft ones. a string of saliva connected the two of you as he caught his breath. you opened your eyes to stare at him, they were watery..your tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes as you caught your breath. to inho you eyes were like glass marbles...and he wanted to shatter them into pieces. you took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. if you were calm it wouldn't be as bad. you read this inside your mind over and over and over again. you just prayed he would use you quickly and then leave... "you know, that day..the day where junho has brought you to our mothers house for my birthday.." his eyes wandered away from you, as if he were recalling the day in exact detail, scene by scene...
his eyes snapped back to yours, holding intense eye contact until he continued his sentence... "when I asked you what you loved most about junho you told me you loved his kindness. you said he was a soft person..an angel in your eyes." he crouched down, staring at you with intense eyes. his sharp features were like daggers, stabbing one by one into your heart. "you told me you loved something about him that I lacked. I'm not a kind person. and right now..you probably think I'm the devil instead of an angel like my brother.." he smiled at you, it was a cold, fake smile. if you touched his face right now it'd probably be ice cold.. "thats how I knew someone like you would never willingly be with a man like me.. but it's okay, I'll just force myself onto you." you started to cry, the salty liquid streamed down from your cheeks to your chin. your eyes were red and puffy, you didn't know what to do. you didn't want to be with this man, you didn't want this. inhos left head reached to your face, this time he squeezed the both of your cheeks so that your lips were puckered at him. "got it, princess?" he leaned in to kiss you again, this time he went aggressive right away. forcing his tongue into your mouth, some of your tears dripped onto his mouth. letting him taste the saltiness of your sadness. and it was delicious.
there you sat, he had freed your ankles from the restraints on the chair. nipping and licking at your clit. you hated this, you couldn't stop crying. you felt disgusting, a man that wasn't your husband was licking and eating your pussy out. why would you let this happen? at this point death felt better than breaking your husbands heart. you lets out cries and soft no's as he slurped your juices. you hated that it felt good, you hated that he knew what he was doing. your moans and mewls filled the room, followed with wet sloppy sounds of spit and cum mixed together. he's been eating you out for what felt like hours, you've probably came like 3 times already. you were getting tired..your legs were shaky, trying to close in on themselves but inhos arms kept them wide open for you. "p-please stop. I don't like thi-this...ah...please..let me go already..please.." you were begging with him, your eyes were shaky, your face was flushed and your lips were wet from his aggressive kisses. god. the scene of you begging for him to stop as he abused your clit was one he wanted engraved in his mind forever. he let go of your pussy with a loud pop, your juices and his spit was all over his mouth and chin. he looked like a wild animal that had just eaten his prey alive. with his sleeve he wiped off the liquid on his face. 'ruining' his all black jacket. "you want me to stop but your cum is all over my face and lips. you want me to stop but you keep moaning. just admit you're a slut for me." you close your eyes shut, shaking your head viciously, you don't want him. you don't want this. you just want your husband to be safe. that's all you want... inho scoffs at you, as if you were lying to his face. maybe he truly did believe you wanted this..that you wanted him.. but you knew it wasn't true, you knew that you loved junho and that you werent fighting back back because you just wanted him back.. you'd break down in tears in his arms once he comes home, you'll explain it when he's home. he'd understand..right..? you were lost in your thoughts, but reality snapped you out of them.. 2 long fingers were inside of your core, curling and pumping in and out... it hurt so much. it was nothing like you were used to, slow paced and gentle..no..it was fast and rough. you let out a cry, you were in so much pain it made you want to go insane. the rope that was still tied around your arms and waist dug into your skin, burning you as you struggled under the restraints..trying to find a way out. it felt like inhos was trying to split you in half, the rough skin on his finger pads only made it worse. but ofcoourse it had to feel good, because he knew what he was doing. even if it was messy, even if it was rough, even if you didn't like it..he knew how to make a woman feel good past all the pain. he tilted his head up towards you, his dark almond eyes burned holes into yours. "you gonna cum?" instead of a question, it felt like a demand. demanding you to answer yes, scaring you into saying yes.. but you didn't say yes, you said no. you shook your head and mouthed no to inho, not daring to say it out loud..and it obviously made him upset. he sneered at you before grabbing is free hand and pinching your clit before speeding the pace of his fingers. this was something you've never felt before, the pleasure finally overshadowed the pain and it felt like he had just forced your orgasm out of your body. your cum coated his digits, leaving a slightly milky white color on them.. you were catching your breath, it was hard to breath..the pain, anxiety and fear were catching up to you...you felt your throat slowly closing on you..you felt like you couldn't even breath enough air to supply your lungs are this point.. you were so caught up in your own world that you didn't even realize how he was pressing against the bulge that was begging to be freed from his trousers..he stared at you with bleak eyes, there was nothing behind them...nothing but desire and want..you were scared witless of what he would do to your poor body next. and whatever it was, you didn't want it
the bed was creaking under you, the same bed you and juho slept in everyday... you legs were pressing onto your stomach, the skin rubbing against each other. inho was slamming his cock in and out of you.. touching spots you didn't even know could be reached before this. you felt horrible for feeling so good. but you didn't want this. you were a crying moaning mess. your nails were digging onto his hands, the ones that were pressing you down. you were begging for him to stop, you didn't want this..you felt like you were being forced into this. with the life of your husband on the line.. inho let go of your left thigh and reached to your neck. his freezing hand sending shivers through your body as he started to choke you whilst pounding in and out of you..destroying your gummy insides. he lowered his face to you and scoffed, you looked so pathetic. crying and sobbing acting like you weren't enjoying his fat cock. why wouldn't you just admit you liked it for once? "acting like youre the victim while my cocks deep inside of you. is this all women do? complain about everything..just admit you like it. I wont tell." you felt so degrading. you were getting fucked by a man you barely knew on the bed your missing husband and you slept on every day at somepoint. using his life against you and now he's blaming you? was it really your fault? could you have just turned him away and still gotten junho back? was that an option that you weren't told about? you started crying, your weak arms pushing against his chest with no avail. you just wanted it to stop, you were in pain and now you're being told its your fault you're in this situation. you can never win. you began to sob louder, begging him to let you go, louder and louder until you were wailing like a stupid baby. your hand grasped at the tight grip he had on your neck, then to his chest to push him away again. "shut up." he snarled before taking off his hand from your neck, he had left a bruise from how hard he was gripping...with the same hand he harshly slapped you. shutting your cries up quickly. a red spot started to quickly form, your skin was now irritated in what felt like every place on your body.. "you're such a slut. taking the dick of a man 20 years older than you on the very bed your husband would sleep on. do you not feel ashamed? hmm?" he hummed at you, waiting for your reply. but you didn't even mutter a word, nothing. you decided you'll just take it with no noise, if you stay quiet up maybe it'll end faster?.. it should...shouldn't it..you were trying to comfort yourself in your head.. "you can keep trying to tell yourself otherwise but youre nothing but a dirty cheater. taking dick like a good girl. this probably isn't the first time youve done this huh?" he laughed at your now soulless face, he was right when he said he wanted to ruin you. he was doing that, and it got worse with every second that passed. "ffuck I'm close. you better cum or else I'll js' keep on using you until you do." you started to tear up, your clit twitching and your hole began to clench around his cock. you felt good, but terrible at the same time..you doubted he was cumming because he thought you felt good though, it was a factor but it was probably your shape that made him so horny. you were sad, in pain...tired... he got off to it so bad. you let out quiet pants and moans, indicating to inho that you were close too. he started to get sloppy, his pace getting even faster as the wet slapping sound of skin filled your ears to the brim. you felt your clit pulsating, begging for release...once you came you'd be free..you'd be...you'd be....be.. "a-aa.. fuck fuck fuckfck fuck! ouOUGH~" you let out loud, filthy moans. probably for the first time that night, instead of your cries it was your moans and whimpers that the room was now brimming with. inho loved the sound of your noises, your cries, moans, everything. God it made him so horny...once he felt you cum all over his cock he let his go through as well. fucking his orgasm into you deeper, and deeper with a loud groan..
he kept moving slowly, fucking you through your orgasm as your breathes calmed down.. "I want to ruin every inch of kindness and hope for humanity you have left in you. you're so perfect. perfect to corrupt.." his hand raised to your cheek and started to rub it 'lovingly'. you had a feeling he wasn't going to let you go like he had told you he would.
...
Another not: I FINALLY FINISHED YAY took me like all day again but ....yay!! I hope u guys liked it. I'm pretty proud of it but idk if its ooc or not... but SMASH THE LIKE BUTTON N HIT SUBSCRIBE 4 MORE..!!!!!!!
TAGLIST: @pollys-doublelife @gongyoosgf
#ᡣ𐭩 saymio#squid game smut#squid game fanfic#squid game 2#squid game x y/n#squid game#squid game x you#squid game x reader#yandere x reader#x reader#yandere x you#yandere#in ho x reader#hwang inho#inho x reader#player 001#the front man#the front man x reader#fanfic#smut#young il#young il x reader#oh young il#hwang in ho#dead dove fic#dead dove do not eat#prob ooc#tw noncon#hwang junho#junho
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on day 5 artemy and daniil go to the bar at noon and talk at each other like this


#LMAO not in any way thats like theyre having a disagreement and cant get through to each other#just that the whole convo was just both of them going on their own train of thought ramblings and not reacting to the other in any way#and it made me laugh#also im assuming that me doing the infected organ testing in time now is the reason i got this dialogue and if thats so#is it truly so that if you get this dialogue at the bar daniil doesnt offer you his bed when you give him the blood later?????#that moment is so relevant to my life so this is honestly devastating even if the dialogue is otherwise the exact same#(but '... are you a mind reader?' 'sometimes. a bit.' still has me shaking and crying)#ALSO one thing that is so delightful abt actually progressing the panacea quest in a timely manner is that you get at least this#one extra dialogue with sticky. i didnt know it existed so i always thought oh its such a shame that stickys bond with artemy doesnt get#nearly as much development as murkys and yeah obv its still not AS elaborate/dramatic but just this one extra dialogue#rlly gives you the impression that he is becoming something like artemys anchor#and i just know the 'youre never home' line will hit even harder this time!#hhhh next is the scariest part of attempting this no death playthrough aka second night of protecting rubin#im pretty sure you dont have to do these night quests to save him but i want to lmao what am i trying to prove#the 1st one went kind of okay. now i have 4 bandages for this 2nd one and last time i did it first try with no bandages so 🤞 pls go well
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Anyways also feeling kinda down that I haven't worked on owed in a bit & that today I was supposed to start back up but kinda. Didn't get anything done.
Just kinda really feeling drained lately and idk how much of this is because I just got done with being sick/ being on my period back-to-back and whatnot and I really want to be creative but then when I try everything Just Sucks. I'm very thankful I didn't have to go in this past Wednesday, and that I do not work again until next Wednesday as long as I am not called off then too (or as long as the other kennel person doesn't need covered ig), because maybe it'll give me the time to get my energy back without having to worry about doing shit.
#ramblings#were getting closer and closer to the end of the year and like.#idk i just do not feel like ive been doing anything#ive been doing stuff but its not what i wanted it to be like. my mom and i still havent worked out taking comms#so i still have not been able to take any and i dont think we will be able to work this shit out until after the holidays#idk. someones over tonight so i dont wanna bother but i might try talking to her abt it. to see if we can at least work out a day#when we can get things sorted out. because i really want to take commissions so i can have more income than a part-time job#<- without having to take on a second job/ quit the job i have now for a fulltime one#also as we get closer to a new year im filled with dread abt having to do college. even if i just do online classes i wont lie to you ive#liked the freedom ive had not dealing with school. i know i need some kinda education so i can try and find a reliable job#but its just. the last time i was in school it got me to a really bad place mentally and i just dont wanna deal with that again#sorry. i just wanna think out loud abt this stuff rn i guess#havent rlly talked abt this with anyone. theres only so much my friends can do bc the majority of them i can only talk to online#and idk how well my family would understand. especially my parents. without scolding me for like. loathing school and shit
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marauders era p links (18+)
all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public
part 2 out now!

REGULUS BLACK
regulus fingering you in his dorm
regulus bouncing you on his cock
JAMES POTTER
riding james when he visits you for summer break
james celebrating a quidditch win
james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)
james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie
james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him
james eating his pretty girl out
SIRIUS BLACK
sirius making his girl feel good
showing sirius what a good girl you are
69’ing with sirius
sirius using his long fingers to make you cum
morning fucks with sirius
sirius fucking you at your house
REMUS LUPIN
remus fucking your face
remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon
riding professor lupin
getting extra credit with professor lupin
BARTY CROUCH JR
bouncing on bartys cock
barty fucking the LIFE out of you
MARLENE MCKINNON
marlene riding the life out of you
marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you
marlene fingering you till you’re shaking
making a sex tape with marlene
marlene eating you out
making out with marlene
LILY EVANS
fucking lily with a d!ldo
intimate but intense foreplay with lily
fucking lily in the common room
sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl
roommate lily helping you out
car sex with lily
thanking lily for date night by eating her out
lily sitting on your face <3
using mommy’s tits to cum
MARY MACDONALD
mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers
mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip
home alone with mary
fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up
making mary cum
eating mary out by the pool
DORCAS MEADOWES
eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering
(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter
giving dorcas special treatment after a night out
dorcas riding you
RANDOM
marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying
pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you
pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty
foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!
find part 2: here
#marauders#slytherin skittles#dead gay wizards#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#regulus black#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#lily evans#dorcas meadowes#mary macdonald x lily evans#marlene mckinnon x lily evans#barty crouch jr#marauders smut#james potter smut#remus lupin smut#sirius black smut#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#james potter x reader#lily evans x reader#mary macdonald x reader#marlene mckinnon x reader#dorcas meadowes x reader#slytherin
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