#and idk how well my family would understand. especially my parents. without scolding me for like. loathing school and shit
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Anyways also feeling kinda down that I haven't worked on owed in a bit & that today I was supposed to start back up but kinda. Didn't get anything done.
Just kinda really feeling drained lately and idk how much of this is because I just got done with being sick/ being on my period back-to-back and whatnot and I really want to be creative but then when I try everything Just Sucks. I'm very thankful I didn't have to go in this past Wednesday, and that I do not work again until next Wednesday as long as I am not called off then too (or as long as the other kennel person doesn't need covered ig), because maybe it'll give me the time to get my energy back without having to worry about doing shit.
#ramblings#were getting closer and closer to the end of the year and like.#idk i just do not feel like ive been doing anything#ive been doing stuff but its not what i wanted it to be like. my mom and i still havent worked out taking comms#so i still have not been able to take any and i dont think we will be able to work this shit out until after the holidays#idk. someones over tonight so i dont wanna bother but i might try talking to her abt it. to see if we can at least work out a day#when we can get things sorted out. because i really want to take commissions so i can have more income than a part-time job#<- without having to take on a second job/ quit the job i have now for a fulltime one#also as we get closer to a new year im filled with dread abt having to do college. even if i just do online classes i wont lie to you ive#liked the freedom ive had not dealing with school. i know i need some kinda education so i can try and find a reliable job#but its just. the last time i was in school it got me to a really bad place mentally and i just dont wanna deal with that again#sorry. i just wanna think out loud abt this stuff rn i guess#havent rlly talked abt this with anyone. theres only so much my friends can do bc the majority of them i can only talk to online#and idk how well my family would understand. especially my parents. without scolding me for like. loathing school and shit
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OMG, how I'm missed this series. I hate when life makes me too busy to spend time with dear Maggy's writing, cause MY GOD do I love it!! This chapter was nothing less than magnificent, and I can truly feel the fear and nausea that Y/n was feeling throughout this chapter.
Poor Y/n, truly. The way that she is just constantly on the verge of a panic attack throughout the chapter is just so heart wrenching. Oh, how I wish I could help her escape from there. Hearing how often she felt her heat beating out of her chest made me just feel so awful. Poor woman, truly. And then hearing her thoughts about her parents? Dude, I was so close to crying along with her. The way that Namjoon was almost scolding her for not visiting her parents in a while, despite the fact that the only reason she hadn't was because of her STALKERSâoh my apologies, her soulmates (I wish you could see how I'm rolling my eyesâmade me so incredibly angry on her behalf. Like, how DARE you. Like how blind can he be to how THEY'RE the ones that made her distance herself from her family. They're so deluded, I swear. And the way that he was all of a sudden so concerned about her info being easily accessible to anyone in the library, when he is the one that invaded her privacy, is just unbelievable.
Taehyung and Jimin are genuinely terrifying, like the way that those two are the ones that seem to see through her the most. The way they both seem to have such a short fuse (more so Tae, but you know). The way that they seemed to already be conspiring together, idk man, it's just creepy. It's also so interesting how Taehyung so casually seems to threaten her, like it was an indirect threat, but the point was clear, "do something I don't like and they'll be consequences" when talking about making sure she didn't do "something silly." Paired with his previous gory "gifts", yeah, not a fun time at all. I am so glad though, that Yoongi and Tae had found out that they shared her as their soulmate, because I shudder to think of what Taehyung would have been like without Yoongi reeling him back in. Probably like Jimin, but like ten times less sexual and a million times more violent.
I'm honestly somewhat surprised they all left her alone when she "slept" through the day. I get that they probably didn't want to make her more scared, but I'm honestly surprised nobody just watched her sleep or anything lol. Like the way that Tae was so willing to kiss her head, even though she was obviously terrified, I'm surprised he (or Jimin, or even Hoseok) wasn't just pulling up a chair to then watch her sleep. Especially considering Jimin was waiting for her to try and escape when everyone was asleep (though she was unsuccessful, at least she got some good soup out of the ordeal lol, thanks to Jin helping Namjoon from burning down the cabin).
You know, I get how she feels about Jungkook at the moment. I understand how she feels a bit safer with him, but also feels much more betrayed by him. It's a tough spot to be in with him, considering she thought of him as a friend. And it definitely seems that he realizes how much he's ruined his relationship with her, since he was so apologetic and stuttering over her words. I look forward to see how their relationship will go forward from here, I imagine she's not gonna let him get away with this with a simple "sorry" and "just give us a chance, we love you."
I genuinely loved this chapter, I could feel Y/n's every emotion, and I honestly just wish I could help her escape. I wish I could tell her parents, too. Maybe they'd be able to do something about this, but considering that she was already a bit distance cause of them, I doubt they'd notice that she's missing for a bit. Right now, her friends are her only chance to be saved, if they noticed her missing fast enough.
This chapter was amazing!! I hope you've been well!! Hopefully I'm able to catch up to where you've left off soon, 'cause I feel so behind 𼲠Take care!! đđđđđđđđđ
lovesick (VIII)
â pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader â word count: 10.7k â warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, kidnapping, mention of drugging, dissociation â summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didnât expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasnât bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that youâre being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out whoâs behind it yourself â and hopefully before itâs too late. â amazing cover by @leitholdâ!
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You wake up to a dull headache pulsing at the back of your skull. Groaning, you push yourself up on one elbow, the world around you spinning as you force your lashes to part. You peer over at your bedside table through bleary eyes, squinting as you try to make out the blurry shapes on top of it. The books you bought months ago and never read are still there, but thereâs something sitting slumped over next to them, something you swear wasnât there yesterday.
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something new - pjs
strangers to classmates to friends to lovers - yeah itâs gonna be a doozyÂ
dancer jisung and lowkey trouble maker reader heheÂ
iâm inlove with park jisung and i truly hope this can give yâall some jisung feels! btw i love this gif sm idk why >.<Â
word count: 6.7k - as usual sorry for any mistakes !!
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she was always used to the same old things. the same old people at the same old prestigious art school. nothing exciting ever happened. until she met park jisung, the new student who taught her that it was okay to love.
â
ây/n, my office, nowâ the stern voice of the principal echoed through the halls. studentsâ eyes diverted to you, watching carefully as you practically trotted your way into the office, without a care in the world.
âdo you understand how much trouble you are in right now?â the man furiously runs his hands through his hair. you sat quietly, fiddling with your keychain on your backpack.
âlook sir, she had it coming! she spread rumours about me!â you groaned, trying your best to reason.
âi understand that, but you cannot take out your anger on her like that! i mean, setting up a whipped cream and glitter bomb in her locker? what even is that?â he sighed, finally taking a seat. you just kept playing with your keychain, listening to the words go through one ear and out the other.
âiâm sorry okay? how much will the damage be? iâll have a cheque by the end of the weekâ you internally rolled your eyes, not feeling much remorse for your actions.
âno, we donât want your familyâs money. you have to be taught a lesson. you will clean the mess you made. and you will continue to clean the dance studio from top to bottom each day after schoolâ the principal folded his arms, finally finding his composure.
âyouâre kidding? do you know how scuffed the floors get? how dirty the mirrors are?â you stood up in protest.
âwell iâm sorry but we canât let you bribe your way out of this one. you crossed a line when you put others at risk. your punishment begins today.â he wasnât budging anytime soon. you decided to just back down and do as you were told. Â
if your parents found out about your little predicament, youâd have your allowance taken away for at least a month.
you began scrubbing the front of the locker, loudly sighing during the process. you were now on the ground, scrubbing away when a pair of scuffed leather shoes met your eyes. you looked up at the boy who owned the shoes, he had his hands in the pockets of his blazer and a confused look on his face. you quickly stood up, flattening your uniform.
âhey, iâm wondering if you can help me outâ he spoke first, staring right into your eyes.
âlet me guess? youâre new?â you smirked, leaning against the, now clean, locker.
âyeah, how did you know?â he furrowed his eyebrows.
âwell first of all, you have all your buttons up on your shirt and you didnât cuff your pants. not to mention, youâre using the backpack with the school logo, youâre kind of easy to point outâ you smiled softly as he nervously coughed.
âo-oh, is it bad to be new? iâm on a scholarship, will the others think less of me?â he began mumbling to himself which made you amused.
ânot really, as long as you have talent, no one really cares. what did you get in for?â you didnât know why you were being so social, especially to someone youâve never met.
âdance, how about you?â he questioned back.
âsame here, iâll see you around a lot um...â you bit your lip, realising you didnât ask for his name,
âjisungâ he responded immediately,
âah yes jisung, iâm-â
ây/n! have you finished cleaning?â the voice of the grumpy old man approached you. you rolled your eyes to jisung, causing him to smile, which you found adorable. your principal finally stood between you both,
âstop terrorising our new students thank you! get back to class! mr park, please follow meâ your principal stated, walking towards his office.
âsee you later, jisung!â you waved softly, his hand reached for the side of your face, causing you to immediately freeze.
âsorry, you had a little cream thereâ he smirked before wiping it off, and turning to follow your principal.
that was the day you met park jisung.
//
it was the end of the day, and you were wiping down the last specs of dust left on the mirror. you let out a loud groan before throwing the cloth back into the bucket.
âbad day?â you heard a familiar voice followed by a chuckle.
âyou could say thatâ you turned to jisung, watching as he entered the studio.
âwhy exactly are you cleaning the studio, well after school has ended?â jisung walked closer to you.
âletâs just say, my whipped cream and glitter prank from this morning didnât sit well with the principal so iâm on cleaning duty until further noticeâ you shrug, removing your gloves and placing them into the bin. âwhat are you doing here anyway?â you decided to question back.
âi live on campus, i wanted to scope out the studio since i didnât have a dance class todayâ he responded, looking around the room in awe.
âfair enough. iâll give you a mini tour! here we have a random piano, iâm really not sure why but it fit into the budgetâ you explained as jisung followed your every move.
âthis is the sound system, itâs not too advanced compared to the one in the school auditorium, itâs easy enough to use for solo practices and suchâ you blabbed on, jisung listening to each word coming out of your mouth carefully. he nodded along, feeling a sense of belonging in the studio. if you werenât there, he most likely would have just started dancing on his own. but he was still shy around you, and with most people.
âthere isnât much to it, but youâll enjoy your classes here!â you smiled at him, while leaning against the piano.
âthanks for the recap, i canât wait to start dancing. iâve been doing it since i could remember. itâs always been a part of my lifeâ jisung started rambling.
âi totally get it, iâm glad you got into this school. we need more kids with drive and passion. rather than the ones with daddyâs moneyâ you throw shade as jisung just laughs along.
âiâm not so blessed in that department. my family are miles away, hence why i board at the school. iâm sorry, iâm oversharingâ he mutters to himself, loud enough for you to hear.
âoh well, i think itâs cool that you can live alone. i mean, aside from having a roommate, you wonât be nagged to do chores and suchâ you tried to lighten up the mood as jisung shot you a small smile that you couldnât resist.
âthanks, i appreciate the advice! it seems like youâre done and dusted here, iâll be heading back to my dorm. have a nice night, y/nâ and just like that, he made his way out of the studio, leaving you alone. part of you had wished he stayed and talked to you more, but it was only his first day, you didnât expect much. after locking the door to the studio, you returned the keys to the front office and made your way home.
you immediately crashed onto your bed, proceeding to take a long nap to distract you from todayâs punishments. âtomorrow will be a new dayâ, you mumbled to yourself before you drifted to sleep.
//
ây/n! you are going to be late to school!â your brother, johnny barged into your room. he was shirtless and holding a bowl of cereal in his hands.
âshit shit shitâ you mentally scolded, launching yourself out of bed.
âdonât you have work? oh wait i forgot, you leech off our parents!â you groaned at the older boy, rushing to get ready.
âjeez, youâre little miss sunshine this morning. you already missed first period, iâll drive you in time for recess. you know, youâre lucky to have meâ johnny smirked before leaving your room and heading downstairs. you roll your eyes while furiously brushing your teeth. it wasnât unusual for you to be late, but you never skipped first period. your code of conduct was to skip classes during the day, not before it has even started.
you creased down your uniform before meeting johnny in his convertible.
âfinally! i have places to be!â he teased, before ruffling your hair.
âyou ruined it!â you sighed before attempting to fix what you could.
âmy bad, princessâ johnny laughed before starting the car and rushing you to school.
he did stick by his word; you had just arrived before the bell went for recess. fingers crossed that you didnât bump into your first period teacher.
you were quickly pacing to your locker, when someone smashed into you, knocking you both down.
âoh y/n! iâm so sorry!â you heard his voice again. you looked up at the boy, watching as he leant you his hand.
âwhere were you rushing off to?â you decided to tease, looking up at him.
âi need to hand in this form. iâm going to sign up for the showcase!â he excitedly beamed.
âambitious, arenât we?â you smiled as he returned the action. you both starting walking with each other, towards your locker.
âyou didnât come to dance class first period was everything okay?â he politely asked. in which you admired his gentle personality.
âi just slept in, all that cleaning yesterday has really got me exhaustedâ you joked, stopping at your locker.
âi can help you!â he blurted, causing you to give him a confused look,
âdonât be silly! iâm okayâ you replied, kind of flattered by his offer.
âno! iâm cool with it, we can finish cleaning in half the amount of time, and uh maybe we can just go over our routines for the showcaseâ he mumbled the second half, which made you smile.
âhmmm youâre not trying to sabotage me? are you?â you smirked, while opening your locker.
âno no! i would never! i just havenât seen you dance, thatâs allâ his face started to flush pink.
âiâm kidding, jisung! of course we can do that. iâll pay for lunch! today is sushi dayâ before he could even respond, you practically dragged the boy towards the cafeteria.
sitting with jisung, felt like sitting with a friend you had known for a long time, despite only meeting the day prior.
he was so well spoken, shy at times but otherwise a good conversationalist. you watched him scan his eyes around the cafeteria, consuming the last of his sushi.
âthank you for paying! iâll pay you back when my mum sends me my allowance!â he offered. you shook your head in refusal,
âsave your money! this is my treatâ you smiled at him, finishing off your last piece.
âthank you again. this school is so much different from my old one. we never had sushi, or a cafeteria this big! itâs like a whole other worldâ jisung spoke with such awe and admiration.
âreally? what did they have at your old school?â you were curious,
âi mean we usually bought our own food from home because well, everything there was just foulâ he chuckled as you smiled at him.
people started to notice that you had been hanging around the new kid a lot, it resulted in confused stares and awkward glances. you didnât have the best reputation. you were a complete menace, but you did play tricks here and there. many just assumed that your parents bought your way into the school and that you didnât have any talent.
you let people think what they wanted; it was easier than trying to constantly prove yourself to those who believe you arenât enough.
as you were walking out of your english class, you heard some girls whispering behind the door.
âjisung, we know youâre new here but sheâs bad news. she gets away with really dangerous things! âone girl harshly exclaimed, you stood frozen, waiting for his response.
âlike what?â
âshe smokes and drinks whenever she has the chance to. she always plays dangerous pranks on others! and she always uses her money to get out of thingsâ another girl continued. you couldnât handle listening anymore. to make it clear you heard everything, you slammed your books to the ground, causing the group of girls and jisung to look down at you. you grabbed everything in your arms and just smiled, with a hint of bitterness behind it. jisung was conflicted on what to do, he didnât follow behind you, but he also didnât stay with the girls. he thought it was best he didnât get involved with drama, so he made his way to the dance studio.
school had just finished, meaning you were ready to begin day two of cleaning duty. you picked up the supplies from the custodian, dragging everything to the studio. you groaned as some of the cleaning solution leaked when you made it to the door. as you bent down to clean the mess, you heard music playing from the studio. you werenât aware that anyone else, but you had access, so out of curiosity you peeped through a small crack of the door. it was jisung.
he was practicing some moves. you stared in awe. he was so clean, so technical. he wasnât like any of the other male dancers at your school, thatâs for sure. you almost forgot that you had to be cleaning. it didnât take long for jisung to stop dancing. he huffed in frustration, cradling himself in a ball in the middle of the studio. you decided to knock softly before entering,
âum jisung?â the boy looked up at you, his eyes brimming with tears.
you pulled the cart of equipment into the studio, setting them aside, before walking towards the upset boy.
âa-are you okay?â you kneeled down to face him.
he sniffled and nodded.
âyeah just, missing home, i guess. my moves arenât as sharp as i want them to beâ he sighed, causing you to shake your head.
âwhat are you talking about? youâre such a good dancer! well from what i sawâ his eyes widened, mouth agape.
ây-you saw me?â
âyeah, youâre amazingâ you complimented as he blushed, trying to hide it behind his hands
âand for the whole homesick thing, it must be hard not seeing your family. i can kind of relate, i only really talk to my brother at home. but heâs trying to find a job and stuff so itâs always quietâ you confide in him, sitting so your legs were crossed. he did the same.
âdonât get me wrong! i like my roommate, heâs really cool. i just want to talk to my mumâ jisung mumbles, making your heart ache.
you gave him a small pat on the shoulder, not sure of how to comfort him.
âiâm sorry iâm over sharing again! youâre here to clean! iâll help you, as i promisedâ jisung immediately stood up, holding out a hand for you to take. you took it instantly, letting him pull you up, but you ended up tripping over your foot. you were now face to face with jisung as he held you. you hadnât noticed how gorgeous his eyes were, since strands of his hair covered them most of the time. you eventually pulled away, awkwardly making your way to the equipment.
jisung followed behind you as you both started cleaning. his phone was still connected to the speakers, so as you cleaned, you also jammed to his music.
it definitely made time go by faster with jisungâs company. he was always cracking lame jokes, trying to get you to smile. you noticed how his gaze would always linger on you after telling a joke to see your precise reaction. it made him smile whenever you laughed.
âwell i think we are just about done here!â you cheered, throwing a dirty towel into the bucket.
you walked over to jisung who had finished before you, now playing on his phone.
âfinally, i didnât think you were going to finish without my helpâ he teased, smiling up at you. you rolled your eyes, looking back at him.
âhey, you have a lil something hereâ you mutter, swiping your finger over the side of his mouth, removing the small specs of dirt.
âo-oh t-thanksâ jisung blushed again, shocked by your actions. you just nodded in response.
âcan i ask you something?â he continued,
âof course,â
âis what those girls said, true?â he didnât break eye contact with you. you were hoping you wouldnât need to even have this conversation with him. especially since you barely knew him.
âsome of it. i used to smoke and drink, but iâve stopped now. it affected my motivation to continue dancing. and yes, whenever i got into trouble, my parents tried to pay my way out of itâ you admitted to him. it was better he knew now. there goes your only friend at the school.
âohâ was all he could say. jisung wasnât sure what he felt. part of him never saw you as that type of girl, you were too different to him, too out of reach.
you nervously played with your fingers, which was a major habit of yours. jisung senses your uncomfortable nature. he stood up from where he was sitting, looking down at you.
âthanks for being honest with me. if you were worried about me not wanting to be friends with you, you can forget it. iâm not the type to drop someone because of other peopleâs perceptions. besides, youâre my only friend here so far, i kind of need youâ jisung chuckled at the last part, making you instantly smile. he had such a way with words that made you feel like he could do no wrong. the guilty feeling in your stomach started forming.
you didnât want jisung to get involved with your reputation, he didnât need to be a target for other peopleâs comments. he was capable of making his own friends and being great at this school.
but he was so persistent about being your friend.
in the days following, jisung waited for you every day at this bench near the front of the school. he walked you to all your first period classes, always ate lunch with you. you were flattered by his generous gestures, but you were still worried about what others thought.
one day, you were home alone, as usual. your parents having to attend with multiple work trips, your brother trying to sustain a stable job. it left you alone.
there was only one person you wanted to talk to, that would keep you company. but he was all the way back at school in his dorm.
âahh y/n, how lovely of you to call! not like iâve sent you a thousand messagesâ jisungâs face filled your phone screen.
âyouâre just obsessed with me, admit itâ you smirk as jisung rolls his eyes.
âyou wishâ he strikes back.
âanyways, iâm bored, wanna do something?â you asked, waiting for him to brainstorm an idea.
âoh, iâm practising my piece for the showcase today, you think you can get me into the studio?â he suddenly realised, you nodded enthusiastically.
âyou underestimate me sometimes, my dear. i can get you in and out without a single soul seeing youâ you teased as jisung laughs hysterically.
âokay okay, meet me there in 15!â he hangs up the call, leaving you a smiley mess, making your way to school.
you met jisung at his dorm room, he was dressed in casual attire. a blue flannel over his white t shirt, matched with grey sweatpants and black shoes. you walked towards the dance studio in school. although it was meant to be closed, you were able to convince the custodian to let you in out of school hours. you owed him a free meal for him and his wife at some fancy restaurant later, but it was worth it.
jisung hooked up his phone to the speakers, before he began stretching. you were so excited to see him in his element again.
âcan i film you, sungie? i think itâs a good memory for our ever-lasting friendshipâ you smirked, placing your phone top of random objects to film him. he shook his head in amusement,
âgo aheadâ
you smiled widely at him, seating yourself to the side, observing his movements. he was mesmerising. the way he moved, the way his body adapted so well to the music, you were impressed. jisung noticed your various expressions, stopping his routine.
âwhyâd you stop?â you poured, walking up to him.
âyouâre staring! itâs making me shy!â he chuckled, softly budging your shoulder.
âdance with meâ he insisted. you shook your head,
âno, we came for you to practice!â you tried to walk back to your seat when jisung gripped your wrist, pulling you into him.
âcome on, for me?â it was his turn to pout. you couldnât resist how adorable he was. you just nodded in response, pulling away from him to play the song you were planning to do for the showcase.
jisung stood beside you, staring at the mirror, watching you take your position. it had been a while since you had danced properly in front of anyone. you tried your best to participate in class, but it was rare that everyone was focused on one individual person. you felt nervous infront of jisung, and it wasnât only because of your dancing.
you started your choreography, you admitted you were sloppy at the start, still having unsettled nerves. but as the song progressed, you felt your body finally let itself go. you were able to put on a show for jisung, he was amazed at your skill.
ây/n, that was really cool! i loved when you did this moveâ he tried to replicate it and ended up tripping, pushing himself into you. you laughed at the clumsy boy, pulling him to stand straight.
âthanks! i really appreciate itâ
jisung fiddled with the sleeves of his flannel, looking to you and back down. you furrowed your brows, unsure if he wanted to say something.
âi have an idea. you really donât have to even consider this, but how about we enter the showcase, as a duo?â jisung muttered softly, unsure of your reaction. you felt a warm feeling take over your body. dancing with jisung seems like just the thing to help your friendship strengthen.
you placed a hand on his shoulder,
âsure, partner. where do we start?â you smiled as he looked at you with his mouth agape, shocked you agreed.
the rest of the afternoon was spent, deciding the song and beginning the first few seconds of choreography.
it was fair to say, you were both confident about this showcase.
it had been a few weeks since that practice with jisung. you met up twice a week to practice since the showcase wasnât until the end of the semester. your cleaning duties had been fulfilled,
âat last, miss y/n, you are free of your dutiesâ your principal gives you a small smile, finally feeling you had learned your lesson,
âitâs a pleasure to be of serviceâ you saluted, causing him to let out a small laugh.
âmaybe that jisung kid has something to do with itâ he joked, causing you to freeze inside. just hearing his name made you nervous.
you werenât so clear how you felt about jisung. he was always there when you needed him to be, but does that really equate to you having a crush on him?
from then on, you began thinking about what itâd be like to be in a relationship with jisung. you found yourself dozing off in the library, thoughts of how jisung would hold you in his long arms and kiss the top of your forehead an-
âpssttttâ
your thoughts were interrupted by jisungâs efforts to snap you out of your trance.
he started clicking in front of your face and poking your cheeks. you finally looked at him, giving him a slight scowl.
âjeez, have you been getting enough sleep? you arenât usually this irritableâ he smirked, watching as you brought your focus back to your english homework.
âiâm fine, just a little tired from practice latelyâ you have him a soft smile, watching as he nodded in agreement.
âah iâm sorry if iâve been pushing you, i want everything to be perfectâ he sighed, feeling guilty.
âitâs okay! really! iâll be all good for the showcase, only three more weeks to goâ
it was now two weeks until the showcase and jisung had been insisting you practiced at least four times a week. you did feel overwhelmed at some points in time, but you didnât want to let him down. meanwhile, you were still deciphering your feelings towards him. usually if you liked a boy, it would be clear to you. black and white. you were either interested or not interested. but park jisung was that bit of grey you couldnât quite figure out.
during practices, he would always move a piece of hair from your face when he was trying to correct your moves. he would hold your waist multiple times in the dance, as well as pull your faces close together. your choreography didnât seem this intense when you first started, but now with the baggage of possible romantic feelings being involved, had you panicking.
why wouldnât you like jisung? he was sweet, kind and caring. he was the good boy, the safe option. he could do no wrong in your eyes, he would never be the one to hurt you. but why couldnât you just go for it?
you were sitting in the library once again, writing up your english paper. your mind floating off to thoughts of jisung. how he would hold your hand. how he would walk next to you and pull you into his side. how he would kiss you...
you shook your head to stop the thoughts from continuing. you eventually opted into writing down your feelings. maybe if you wrote them down, you wouldnât think about it as much. your logic clearly had flaws, but you were desperate to let them out one way or another.
dear jisung,
you will literally never see this. and if you do i would probably die of embarrassment. youâre meant to be my best friend. my dance partners. the peanut butter to my apple slices (just an us thing). but why canât i get you off my mind? youâre always there. your unforgettable smile and laughter, which always make my days less crappy. your sweet gestures such as holding my books, walking me to class, eating dessert with me even though we literally just finished a whole ass meal.
if you ever gave me a chance to express how i felt, i donât know if i would take it. iâm too scared. youâre too good for me. youâre the good boy with a gift for dancing. i donât want to drag you down or be the reason people talk about you behind your back. you are special to me; you always will be. i want to be with you, more than anyone iâve ever liked. but, i canât let go of you being my friend. i canât bear the thought of losing you or pushing you away. iâm so troubled jisung, i hope you understand me. what does it matter?
you groan in frustration. you couldnât even finish a stupid letter about your own feelings. You scrunched up the piece of paper, noticing someone standing over you.
âthere you are! iâve been looking for you, a-are you okay?â jisungâs voice became immediately concerned. you just grabbed your stuff hurriedly, before mumbling that you needed to go home. jisung didnât chase after you, unsure of what to say. he looked down on the ground, picking up the ball of paper you had scrunched. he shrugged before opening the letter, letting his eyes scan over every word.
you were sitting on the bench of an empty park, swinging your legs slowly. you enjoyed the silence. no one was there to bother you. or tell you what to do or how to feel. you felt at ease.
ây/nâ jisungâs muffled voice interrupted your silence. you turned back slowly, watching as jisungâs figure came into vision. he had a crumpled piece of paper tightly gripped in his hand.
âjisung, t-thatâs not what it looks like. i didnât even know what i was writing honestly- â
âdo you like me?â jisung interrupted you, his voice sent a shiver down your spine.
âi-i donât knowâ you mumbled. jisung sighed, walking over to you. he stood directly in front of you, making it harder for you to try and lie.
âiâll ask you again, do you like me?â he spoke softly, making you feel guilty.
you responded by slowly nodding, feeling tears brim your eyes. jisung looked at you in pity. he didnât understand why it was so hard for you to admit it.
âthen why did you say that you canât be with me?â his face looked swollen, as if he had shed a few tears of his own. he took your hand in his, shoving away the letter.
âbecause itâs going to get complicated. i donât want that for youâ you muster up the courage to speak.
âwould you change your mind if i said i want to be with you?â his hands were warm against yours. his entire presence was warm.
âiâm not sureâ
âthatâs all you can say? y/n, itâs not rocket science, you either like me or you donâtâ he was getting quite irritated but tried his best not to show it.
âi do, jisung. i like you a lot, but i canât let feelings get involved in our friendship. i love having you as my friend. we work so well together, anything more could potentially ruin usâ you sobbed, jisungâs eyes filled with hurt. he couldnât believe the words coming out of your mouth.
âi didnât think you could be this selfish. you are just afraid to get hurt. so am i. you donât think that i havenât thought of you that way? i want to be with you. i want to hold you when youâre upset like this. i want to kiss you and take you out on dates. why wonât you let me do that?â jisungâs voice cracked in between. you heart stung with pain.
âiâm not good enough, jisung. i canât be what you wantâ you sighed, watching as tears started brimming his eyes. you hurt him. you hurt him like no one had ever before.
âyou know what, fine. you wanna be selfish then iâll be too. iâm not performing with you anymore. since you canât be with me, consider this friendship. over.â he sternly announced to you, unsure of what else to say. before you could get a word in, he stormed off, not before throwing your crumpled letter into the bin.
you lost your best friend that day.
in the days leading up to the showcase, you and jisung had yet to have spoken. you watched as he constantly had new people to talk to in the halls now. he would sit with a new group almost every day. he was so likeable, so carefree. this only confirmed your assumption that you were holding him back.
since losing jisung, you had slipped into old habits. casual drinking with some of your friends in college didnât hurt.
of course, until you wake up with a massive headache and your older brother yelling at how stupid you are.
âput a sock in it, johnnyâ you groan, not wanting him to lecture you anymore.
âwhat is your problem? you promised you would stop drinking and look where you are nowâ he continued yelling, causing you to roll your eyes.
âitâs not as bad as beforeâ you tried to argue.
âeven if thatâs the case, you shouldnât have started anywayâ he pulled at his hair before slamming your bedroom door shut as he left. you rolled yourself to your side and started sobbing. you missed jisung. more than he would ever know.
two days before the big showcase, you had been drinking once again. you werenât completely off your head drunk, but tipsy enough that people could notice you had something to drink. you were currently sitting at the park bench, no one else in sight, sipping your sadness away.
you barely remembered pulling out your phone, clicking on jisungâs contact.
it rang three times before he picked up,
âwhat do you want?â his voice was filled with distaste.
âjisungie, i miss youuuuuâ your words slurred, causing jisung to become concerned.
ây/n? are you drunk?â
âmaybe a little bitâ you started giggling uncontrollably.
âwhere are you? are you at home?â he was already in his pajamas but got ready to head out.
âno iâm at the park, thereâs little birdies, jisung! ooo that one looks like youâ you chuckled,
âstay there, iâm coming to get youâ he hung up and rushed out of his from, trying not to wake up his roommate.
you were almost half asleep, when jisung arrived. he ran to you, your tipsy state becoming clearer to him. it was freezing out, and you didnât have a jacket on.
âoh y/nâ he sighed, pulling you up with him and leading you to his car.
âoh jisungie, i missed you so muchâ you started pulling at his cheeks.
he seated you in the passenger side, strapping you in safely before making his way to the driverâs side. he turned on the heater in the car, removing the jacket he was wearing to wrap around you.
âthank you, this is so warm, like your hugsâ you smiled, leaning your head against the window.
âwhat were you doing outside, all alone?â jisung knew you werenât in the right mind to have a deep conversation, but he hoped he would be able to get some answers.
âi donât know. i was just drinking and i walked here. this is where you told me you didnât want to be my friendâ you whispered the last part, causing jisung to look right at you. he felt a pang of guilt build inside of him.
âthis isnât who you are. youâre better than this. we can sit here for a while until you feel better, then iâll take you homeâ jisung assures you, waiting for you to respond. you nodded slowly, changing the topic to random things such as how milk shouldnât go before cereal. jisung didnât want to overwhelm you that day. but he knew he needed proper answers soon.
âokay everybody! show starts in exactly thirty minutes!â the showcase coordinator shouted backstage. jisung was going over the final details of his routine. as much as he wished you were up on stage with him, he couldnât let that distract from his performance. you were pacing outside of the auditorium, as jisung had come out for fresh air before the show. you didnât notice him, but he definitely saw you. he turned on his heels instantly, grabbing your attention. you ran up to him, reaching for his shoulder.
âjisungâ you whimpered, he turned around, a stoic expression on his face. this was the first time you two had properly been able to speak with each other, minus a tipsy you.
âgood luckâ was all you could muster up to say to him.
âthanks, is that all?â he retorted, with slight bitterness in his voice.
âand iâm sorryâ jisungâs expression softened. he couldnât hold a grudge for long, it was one of his weaknesses. he just nodded, giving your shoulder a small squeeze.
âwe can talk after the show, you gonna watch?â he nervously suggested, watching as your eyes lit up.
âof course! i wouldnât have missed itâ you smiled softly at him; he returned the look before heading backstage to prepare.
you took a seat in the audience, waiting for jisungâs name to be called. you werenât sure what type of routine he would be going for, but you were still excited nonetheless, the whole school will finally get to witness his talent.
jisung waddled on stage, creating a very refreshing atmosphere compared to the other acts. he put himself in position, waiting for the music to start. your heart was beating so fast, seeing jisung in his element had you in awe. he started moving, each bone in his body stringing along to the melody of the song. it took you a while to realise that he was performing the duet you were meant to do with him. instead he put an alternative twist. he told a story, of a lone dancer, pining for the presence of someone. it really captivated the audience; your eyes were glued on him. he executed the performance with such ease, much better than you ever could. but that was park jisung, he was always going to be better than what you deserved.
as jisung made his way backstage, many students congratulated him on how well he had danced. he was visibly shaken at the amount of attention he was receiving, he just thanked everyone quickly before rushing outside to see if you were there. to his surprise, you were leaning against the locker you both met at, many weeks ago. jisung smirked, walking over to you and pulling you into a hug. while you and jisung were friends, you both werenât too fond of physical affection outside of the dance studio. so, when he pulled you into him, your heart stopped. your hands didnât know where to go, you just froze. eventually you caved in, not being able to bear leaving the boy hanging. since he was taller, you saw the way his legs bent just to embrace you, making you start to giggle.
âwhatâs so funny huh?â he rolled his eyes,
âour height difference, itâs cuteâ you both pulled back, not letting go of each otherâs hands.
âyou did our danceâ you started, watching as jisung turned his gaze to his shoes.
âyeah i did. i couldnât just come up with new choreo like thatâ he clicked his fingers, before placing his hand back in yours.
âjisung i truly donât deserve youâ you sigh. jisung places his large hand on the side of your face, softly caressing your cheek. he stepped closer to you, so that there was barely any space between you.
âstop saying that, we know itâs not trueâ
âi donât want to hurt youâ you mumble, looking up at the tall boy. jisung continued to caress your cheek, softly smiling before leaning his face close to yours.
âi can assure you, you wonât hurt meâ his voice vibrates through you. his reassurance, calming your nerves. you nodded slowly, unsure of how to continue.
âcan i do something?â you whisper, causing his lips to curve into a smile.
âanythingâ
you moved his other hand to cup both of your cheeks and pushed your lips against his. jisungâs eyes widened, realising what you had done, before softly running one hand to the small of your back. he continued what you had started, moving his lips generously with yours. you both didnât instead to stop anytime soon, until you heard the familiar cranky voice of your principal,
ây/n! jisung! we are still on school grounds! take it somewhere else!â he shook his head in disappointment, resulting in you and jisung to burst into laughter.
âletâs go celebrate!â you turned to jisung, placing another kiss to his soft lips before intertwining youâre hand with his.
âwait so youâre my girlfriend now?â jisung stopped you as you both were about to leave the gates.
âjisung! i wouldnât have semi-made out with you at school, infront of our principal, if i didnât want to be your girlfriendâ you teased, as the taller boy blushed.
âyeah, youâre right, letâs go eat some phat burgers!â he cheered as you both entered his car.
jisung taught you it was okay to let go once in a while. it was okay to be silly and not take the whole world seriously. he taught you that it was okay to love. you can never forget him,
park jisung, your first love.
#park jisung#jisung imagine#nct imagine#nct dream imagines#nct dream#nct jisung imagine#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#jisung fluff#nct au#nct fic#jisungsmochi masterlist#jisungsmochiimagines
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Okay, but I can definitely imagine Barb/Dia doing that. It seems like quite a possibility. But wasn't dying mc's own fault though? Like,, Barbatos did warn,,, unless he knew this was gonna happen and mc was DUMB AND STUPID enough to show up to everyone like: "hi." and possibly be dumb enough to get killed. Idk lol I forgot this part.
But what you said about Beel, I really like that. I think you even mentioned belphie guilt tripping you in your yandere hcs, and trying to make you completely depend on him?? I like those possibilities. Mammon though,, too soft. Like you said, they've robbed him a lot. He could have had so much potential to be a dark character. Similarly Levi omg.
The brothers are the embodiments of the 7 deadly sins, yet, tbh, I haven't seen too much of this side of them. At least, not like how'd I expect. Leviathan, for eg. Envy. I don't recall seeing his sin playing out anywhere except in the TSL Quiz thingy. I mean, it's been toned down a lot for someone who's the literal embodiment is envy. Idk I just don't feel he's like that? As from what I found: Envy (Latin:Â invidia), like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. It can be described as a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else. The struggle aroused by envy has three stages: during the first stage, the envious person attempts to lower another's reputation; in the middle stage, the envious person receives either "joy at another's misfortune"(if he succeeds in defaming the other person) or "grief at another's prosperity" (if he fails); the third stage is hatred because "sorrow causes hatred".[38]
Envy is said to be the motivation behind Cain murdering his brother, Abel, as Cain envied Abel because God favored Abel's sacrifice over Cain's.
They toned him down a little too much?? If this game has actually been inspired by demons and the 7 deadly sins, they could at least make them similar to the demons, at least in some way. I'm not that far into the game yet, but so far that I've played, I haven't seen much. As for a demon who is the embodiment of envy... I wish to see more. Levi is capable of A LOT.
Similarly, Satan. I sometimes wonder why is he even called the Avatar of Wrath when we hardly see it?? The only time I remember is him losing his calm during the whole body swap event. The fact Satan got mad at us refusing a pact actually made me think that he was the sin "wrath", but idk now. And the way it was said that "every smile is an act", I really like that concept too. But I don't think I've paid much attention to see where it played out. Sigh now Satan simps for cats like,,, please show me your dark/evil side sir.
The way you said Barb and Dia took part in a torture dungeon, I want to see more of that too. If they're demons, wouldn't they have caused SOME sort of bloodshed in a way? Especially if they're the strongest demons. Killing humans, eating them, or I even like to think doing the same to their own race. Torturing... Seems like something that every demon's blood would contain lmao, I'm not answering questions bye.
And I believe so too. The human seems like a pawn... I feel the demons would use humans for entertainment and their own purposes, while keeping up the facade of loving them. It's easy, since demons are manipulative. In that case, losing the human whether by their own hands or not would go like: "Oh well, that's unfortunate. Time for another human."
But if they REALLY did love you, I feel they'd still be manipulative. Like you said. Corrupting/spoiling the human so much to the point that they'd just HAVE to depend on them. I feel they'd also have yandere tendencies, or be "protective". Like, then I feel they really wouldn't want to let you go, despite knowing how much it can ruin your innocence.
I also don't like how everyone is after mc like "uwuwu master". The human is still a weakling despite having pacts, plus, the pacts aren't even demanding the human's soul or anything. I don't get why they let mc walk over them when they are CLEARLY much stronger? If I were a demon I'd do the opposite lmao. Making the human seem as if they are controlling me, but it's the opposite. I don't think a mere pact can change the fact that the demon's stronger,,, esp if the pact didn't demand the human's soul/life/whatever.
Also, thank you! Things got better for me :)) and also,
đŤâ¨đsend this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going đâ¨
Ofc you don't have to do this, but I got this, and it really made me happy, so here ^^
Oh btw in lesson...56 I think?? Just gonna tag this as a spoiler, but where for whatever reason Satan was "Sully" and the angel Lucifer asked him whether he liked books, let me just say I haven't even played it that far yet, but Satan going, "...Every book here is precious."
TOUCHED ME SO BAD LIKE. I DON'T KNOW IT REALLY MADE ME SOFT LMAO HE'S JUST SO okay I'll stop đâ đš
It's been a while since I've thought in-depth about the whole time traveling thing tbh, but couldn't Barbatos generally see the outcomes of the world?
We went back because they wanted to know who opened it, but considering Diavolo's the ruler of hell who turned Lilith human and Barbatos is basically the ruler of time & practically the universe I believe they already knew Lilith did it since it had to be "blood related" basically.
Barbatos also knows he can stitch together timelines and get of "extra" MCs essentially, so I believe he'd take that into account. I'm not saying MC getting killed was 100% part of the plan, but that they didn't care of MC was traumatized because they knew they could bring them back if necessary.
Imo the real goal wasn't to find out who did it, but to avoid breaking the family's bonds and devotion to Diavolo. The way it worked out was incredibly convenient and "coincidentally" a huge upgrade for Diavolo that kept the status quo and made him look good (or at least better) to Belphie and Beel without making Lucifer choose.
We see that kind of repeat later when Diavolo withdraws from the play because he was worried Lucifer wouldn't be as loyal. That's also why Lucifer gets that warning from Barbatos.
I think a huge part of why Levi's characterization is like that is because not enough people like him enough to tolerate it tbh. Even Mammon and Lucifer stans complain about the other characters hogging screen time and a lot of them admit to feeling bad for other fans. Levi is pretty much always second to last popularity wise.
I think he'd actually be more liked if they focused more on the jealously instead of making almost every interaction otaku/Ruri-chan related, but it's a bit too late now. I really, really hate how they just pretend otaku culture always existed and that's all Levi ever was. Like at least make him have an obsessive personality and be hyperfixated on novels instead of talking manga in an era before Japan even existed. It's so unbelievably lazy and really takes me out of the story.
Another problem is we only really see him interact with family or people that could enact severe consequences like Diavolo & Barbatos or people protected by the exchange program. He never gets a chance to shine or be cunning. The closest we get is things like him purposefully trying to ruin Christmas for random people online in his Christmas card. I think if he genuinely got jealous of MC and some random demon he would summon lotan almost instantly.
It's especially painful knowing what we had & being so excited to get more only for all of that to get dropped.
In an early devilgram, Be You, Satan gets jealous and feels bad about not having much unique to him and Lucifer comforts him in his own way when the others make it worse. Mammon is the most empathetic though ofc. They also talk about horror movies and Mammon says he doesn't find them scary (& the way it's framed sounds honest, idk if it's a retcon or a lie,) and Satan says "I'm sure we've all witnessed plenty of real-life horrors worse than anything in the movies."
Then when Lucifer asks for a time when he was really angry Satan first casually then gleefully talks about torturing a family to death because a kid set him up to get scolded by their parents. Meanwhile the brothers act wary of him and worry about him getting out of control while Lucifer tells everyone to take cover for their own safety with a smile. Satan happily talks about them begging for their lives and says he wishes they saw it too.
Levi also says he hates hearing about people being happy, but likes hearing about the negative things. While Asmo and Mammon are freaking out he also calls Satan cool. Which shows at least a little bit of his envy for once. Satan also says just the aura of his rage is usually too much for humans which is also interesting.
But back to Diavolo and Barbatos, I don't hate how the whole torture thing isn't super open, it makes sense imo, but I would like to see hints of them hiding it. Especially if Satan or even attic Belphie was the one you could go to to learn more about it. If anyone would defy Diavolo for that it'd be them trying to bring Lucifer down with them, or even just Satan rewarding the hunt for knowledge and not understanding the human psyche fully.
Imagine if instead of a paper thin lie about being human we got a Belphie manipulating us by pretending he was locked up because he was against hurting humans and the whole exchange program was a scam? Or at least if he told us things no one else would about Diavolo that were true so we wouldn't trust him and etc. That's the angle I'm going with in my fanfiction at least, the original story is just so lazy and boring imo.
Yeah I'm not a huge fan of how they handled pacts either, especially considering they don't even get MC's soul. It's way too one-sided to the point where I don't believe someone like Satan would ever offer it, even if the first offer was a trick and he'd get your soul or something. I agree on the whole manipulation thing too, like how is it partnership if one side has complete control over the other?
Even just making it so that demons can fight against if they really don't want to do something like harming each other and having it corrupt MC would make it a million times better.
And that's so sweet, thank you! You've made my days a lot brighter too. Not much makes me happier than infodumping and complaining about Obey Me rn lol.
I really liked Satan's line there too, although I did wish he had more a reaction to everything tbh. That whole section felt a bit too easy imo though, like I kept waiting for it to all go to shit or something. I am glad they went back into more story-based chapters too. I hope they keep that trend and expand on it.
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Hey battle of bands au anon here! Thank you sooo much for the advice , I've decided to choose all might because I dont want my fic to be too angsty or plot heavy. I also realised afo can be a very complex character to write and I dont think I can pull that off in my first fic. Also I love the approach you're taking on AFO in stringmaster , it is currently one of my favs!
I haven't read all your fics (yet) but as far as I have read I dont think endeavor has had a major role in any of your fics but if you have any advice on his characterisation then I'd love that. I want this fic to be more fluffy with just a little angst so I dont want to make endeavor as horrible as canon. He's still obsessed with his children (shoto and dabi) being number 1 but I guess not as horrible to his family. Basically I'm stuck at a scene where endeavor has to react to dabi being ranked 2nd in a pleasantly surprising way but not completely out of character. Idk if that made any sense or not I feel like I'm having trouble putting things into words.
Anyways thanks for the advice and if you have any regarding this scene pls help a girl out lol
Ha ha, glad to hear it helped out! And yeah, he can be, hell Iâd say Tomura can also be very tricky to write given his complexity. But def. AFO is up there as well.
Stringmaster AFO is fun (and challenging) to write, because itâs this...weird contradiction, where he does understand emotions and how humans work in theory, but lacks the ability to sort instinctively realize these things himself. Basically meaning he both gets and doesnât get it.
Almost everything needs to be conscious choices to him for the most part, rather than just knowing how to react in situations where empathy is needed.Â
But enough about that!Â
Yeah, I donât use Endeavor a whole lot in my fics other than being the bad father he is in canon, because...tbh I find his character pretty boring? Like his most interesting parts are basically plot device stuff to have an impact/act as motivation for more important/interesting characters. (I.E Dabi and Shoto) Without those heâs just...kinda generic prideful grumpy guy? He just doesnât really stand out to me from any other hero outside the bad parenting.Â
It probably bothers me more/is more noticeable than it would with other mangas Iâve read, because he gets contrasted against well-written and complex characters like many of the villains, or if I have to pick a hero example, Aizawa and Toshinori.Â
 (To be fair, I have this issue with a lot of the hero side characters, they feel really underdeveloped/one-dimensional to me a lot of times. I get you canât flesh out every single one of your hundreds of characters properly, but sometimes even more central focused hero characters feel underdeveloped to me, IDK)Â
....I better cut this rant short and get back on topic about the actual question haha
I feel like Iâd probably need more context of what is going on to give proper useful tips, but the first thing that comes to mind would probably be him doing kind of a backhanded compliment or so, where he expresses that Dabi did good job but also still make him feel like itâs not enough? IDK how to demonstrate that exactly tho.Â
I think the best example I can offer is Stringmaster AFO, now that he was brought up? Like the birth of Mon-chan comic I made, (here in case you dunno what Iâm talking about) where he compliments Tomura about his achievement, but then casually tells him he could scrap it and try again because it wasnât perfect. In his mind he was stating a fact, but it comes off pretty cold, especially to a kid whoâs looking for his approval.Â
Something along those lines could work with Endeavor too, though obviously his delivery would have to be more exaggerated and aggressive, because heâs not suave/well-mannered (or lessay pretentious) like AFO lmao
Also I think to make it feel in character someone would probably have to point out to him that he needs to be more encouraging and supportive, because a prideful dude like himâs gonna struggle being able to figure it out himself. So itâd be like âgood comment, bad comment, gets scolded and tags on another good comment clumsilyâ or something.Â
IDK if any of that helps, but I tried at least. Either way Iâm looking forward to reading your fic someday if you manage to write it. Who knows, maybe youâll get some fanart for it too C;Â
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k so some ns headcanon as requested by @spaceygayrosesâ
i pulled them from my long-as-fuck (like 700 chapters long) google doc but almost every one of those is like..... paragraphs long!! so i chose shorter ones!!
.....surprising to absolutely no one, i have no self-control when it comes to these two
a ) When naruto met sakura
b ) A mere few, fast weeks into dating, they have a discussion in the early evening about telling friends and family, and they agree to do it the next day. After finally coming up for air during their celebratory makeout session, she tries to shove him out the door to get on with their evening plans, she having to go to work. Deep down sheâs amused that as she keeps ending kisses and pulling away, he keeps dazedly following after her with his mouth, not even opening his eyes. She gets persuaded back into it a few times. when a neighborâs door slams sheâs knocked out of their reverie and tells him to stop being a giddy schmuck and go! and laughs as he exaggeratedly swoons down the hallway of her apartment complex (well, she thinks heâs purposefully exaggerating, but heâs not, heâs authentically that mushy / dramatic) At like 1am she wakes up to boisterous noise outside and goes to her balcony to find naruto and kiba and shikamaru, all pretty inebriated tho actually the latter two more so than the former (heâs just using inebriation as a cover), and narutoâs standing on the gate at the edge of the little apartment yards singing songs heâs making up as he goes about how happy he is, crowing about dating his precious sakura-chan. She leans over the edge of the balcony and starts shaking her fist at him and scolding them and he just does the will smith pose and motions to her and shouts at kiba and shikamaru âDO YOU SEE HER!! HAVE YOU EVER MET MY GIRLFRIEND!!!â and they are just guffawing. Sakura hisses ânaruto!! My neighbors!!â and he slurs, âawwww fuck âem!! One of âem slamming their doorâs why iâm down here instead of up there loving you! I saved their asses, so they can just deal with me appreciating yours!!â and she just goes âYOU ARE.. SUCH A DUMB. ASS.â âyeah, but i get to be YOUR dumbass!!â â......Iâm coming down to get you before Kakashi sics ANBU on youâ and they all fully expect heâs done for as they watch her march out the stairwell resolutely, her speed increasing, but then she smiles while she jumps the gate even tho itâs not that tall and hops onto him, her legs around his waist, his hands supporting her under her thighs, and they alternate between laughing giddily and kissing
c ) they get married a month or so after his inauguration, which means HEâS the hokage that legalizes the marriage papers with his signature. and i just like to think⌠perhaps naruto is still his usual emotional self during the ceremony and does cry in happiness a bit during their vows⌠but he gets super sappy / sobby when alone in his office and signing the marriage papers as hokage. thatâsâŚ. thatâs embodying both of his oldest dreams IN ONE MOMENT.
d ) they adopt twice, their first and last kids (of five): first is Arashi, last is Namika -- both names that reference Minato. Arashi asked them to rename him; he was six-ish when they adopted him. Namikaâs name referencing Minato actually happens to be coincidence. sheâs Shinachikuâs classmate and her parents are killed shortly after they graduate the academy :â(Â they give her a place to stay and it turns into adoption.
Arashi was shy and quiet with most people. he makes Naruto think of both Minato and Sasuke. Arashi was intimidated by Sasuke at first, but they become real close. Kurama loves Arashi bc heâs clever as fuck and adores studying history. Arashi has insecure attachments and is distrustful/distant for a while but when heâs older becomes a natural leader of his peers (tho sometimes even then can still seem distant). he has a very strong sense of justice like his parents.Â
Namika is the perfect blend of chill and motivated. sheâs so chill she gets along with all of the siblings. in fact sheâs the only one without problems with anybody: shinachiku and sakuya butt heads, and arashi and konohana go at it all the time. while those four are shoved into get-along shirts naruto and sakura cuddle namika really exaggeratedly and joke about the exhausting nature of her siblings
e )Â the kiddos kiss kurama good morning (narutoâs tummy)
f )Â predictably, he takes every chance he gets to kiss sakuraâs forehead, particularly right on her seal (he likes to kid around about her seal and say âsakura-chan, geez, you went through all that trouble training just for this tiny little target for my kissâ). sheâs a little bashful, or kinda harumphs when he does it in public or when sheâs miffed at him. then their kids notice, first realized by one of the youngest ones, and start copying him, as kids do: learning by imitating their parents. from there on out sheâs often in tears or very near tears when they do this.
g ) itâs affection like this that grips her heart with gratefulness to be with him. he is continuously providing all she needs for her insecurities to be soothed and her dreams to be encouraged. these expressions of love are so deeply tailored to how he can best adore all that makes her, her. she sometimes can't believe how every expression of his love is permeated with his intense understanding of who she is, what she wants, often in ways so breathtakingly simple, honest and ingenuous that she wonders if he even consciously realizes the perfect appropriateness of his gestures.
h ) They are constantly hiding ink & brushes & markers from their youngest children bc in addition to mimicking forehead kisses, theyâre constantly drawing on each otherâs faces to give each other mommyâs âsparkle beauty stickerâ and daddyâs âfox-marksâ ⌠whichâŚ. Unfortunately sometimes they pronounce as âfucks-marksâ and naruto kindaâŚ. Shrugs and makes a face like heâs conceding they might have a point (as in marks that once âfucked overâ village approval of him)âŚ. sakuraâs horrified But she still laughs really hard when he starts calling any scratches he receives from their lovemaking âfucks-marksâ
i ) if anyone makes the mistake of saying something particularly negative or abhorrent about naruto in front of her, especially if theyâre insulting his suitability as hokage, sheâs so incensed she canât guarantee theyâre gonna live to regret it. ...ok, sooo⌠she canât and doesnât actually maim or kill a fellow konoha citizen or any stuck-up diplomats... but damn is the confrontation and reprimand so scary; itâs like she flays their soul so deeply they have no shreds with which to hide their worst sins, guaranteeing no god would ever allow them into any heaven.
j ) naruto has to excuse himself every time sakura takes her gloves off with her teeth
k )Â she loves to wash and pamper him. she doesnât have an explanation for it, really. it can be but doesnât always become sexual, but of course itâs always intimate. itâs not like a critique on him, finding him too dirty or something (heâs dirty, but usually in the ways she likes), she just really enjoys this avenue for expressing her affection. she likes preparing relaxing baths for him, or shampooing and rinsing his hair. she likes running her hands along his muscles, rubbing oils and lotions into his skin. she even likes to give him gentle little facial treatments if heâs in the mood to let her. (spoiler alert: heâs practically always in the mood to let her.)
l ) this vision came to me on a drive home form work: sakura on her period and being pretty damn miserable as far as cramping went. And she like⌠ has her arm over her eyes as sheâs laying on her back on the bed and bemoaning her situation; she laments that she left her heat pack somewhere or let someone borrow it or something. So naruto just⌠takes his shirt off and gingerly lays across her, so theyâre perpendicular with his stomach resting on hers. And sheâs just like âwhat on earth are you doingâ and he nonchalantly replies, âeh⌠I run hot. Iâll be your heating pad, Sakura-chan âĽâ-- .. is⌠is there like, evidence the kyuubi chakra can make his temperature warm even if heâs not using it to fight?? Idk. either that or he just really does run hot, which makes sense because he is made of sunshine after all. âholy hell it actually helps. The heat along with the pressureâ âyep Iâm good for hot pressureâ he winks at her and she rolls her eyes but is blushing. and so he just⌠provides his services pretty regularly from that point on. When this popped into my head I laughed for a full three minutes
m ) they both look young for a very long time, much to sooooo many peopleâs jealous chagrin. this is not bc I donât like older features on them or want them to be ~~ooh~~~awww~~always the typical version of hotness~~~ itâs bc I legitimately think they both would appear youthful for longer than others bc of their chakra stores, etc. sakuraâs would not be as intentional as tsunadeâs, but it would still be an obvious side effect, and naruto is, well, naruto: I bet his uzumaki longevity is boosted by the demon chakra⌠plus his entire soul is youthful tbh
n )Â they regularly visit orphanages together, bearing gifts and stories and their kind companionship. it amazes villagers-- how much their hokage and their head medic-nin, love their people. later in life they foster kids. (oh-- they had fostered two before immediately afterward fostering then adopting arashi)
o ) their first kiss is at Ichirakuâs (this hc is oneâo those written in paragraphs but this is... the succinct version lmao)
p ) sakura finds the ring. she proposes. heâs so relieved and elated when she does especially because she isnât mad he delayed (she actually is never harping him about it or lamenting/venting to her friends that theyâre not engaged). she goes the grand scale public route. itâs a little unlike her, but she wants to reinforce in his mind and heart that she absolutely wants him, and wants the world to know it
q ) one of their really big fights happens when sakura is nominated as a hokage candidate. (this is also long paragraphs in the doc but iâll try to summarize askjdlkj; -- update: i DID shorten it even tho it doesnât seem it alskfjlaks)
she surpasses tsunade in every way: she fucking attains sage mode via wood style because why the hell wouldnât she kishimoto??? (and i donât CARE if people are poking holes in this, I will patch them up! let her be amazing--in other words let her be HER and the HEROINE sheâs always been evolving into! why be a wet blanket when you can love women in manga? Tim Gunn voice: MAKE IT WORK!) (alsooo you know what I went and re-read this and it dawned on me this person wrote âshould have,â not necessarily that she could one day develop this ability post-actual-canon. So I guess the headcanon is that Kishimoto liked women / her and gave her this arc from the beginning and all the details required to necessitate this development were actually present in the story). everyone admires the skills sheâs exhibited running the hospital, and because sheâs a war hero who is constantly at a major hospital and cures/saves people on the daily -- basically communicating that saving and protecting others is her lifeâs work -- a lot of citizens know her and really like and respect her... other reasons, etc., moving along tho--Â
naruto never thought his dream could ever be threatened or usurped by one of his most fierce and steadfast supporters. butâŚ. He really loves her. And heâs so proud of her. And so he seriously considers refusing it if they choose him, so it would likely fall to her, or just flat-out taking his name out of the running so itâs not even a choice. It is in part self-sacrifice, but not merely; he respects her; reveres her strength and leadership; agrees sheâs been indispensable and reliable for so long, and has worked so hard...  and, geez, he often thought HE was an underdog?? His lifeâs been no picnic, heâs worked incredibly fucking hard to get through things and evolve to his current station... but, well⌠his future wife has overcome so much to gain her status and prove herself, too, with as much effort as him, and while she did have teachers on the same level as him, she performed all her heroism with signiiiificantlllyyy less prophetic/demon/bloodline inertia to get her here (and by less we facetiously mean: none).
sheâs pissed heâd even consider walking away from this goal. he tries to explain, âsakura. youâve been my dream, too, for just as long.â it takes an emotional night -- mostly with her pleading for him to understand that she doesnât want him to and is so sorry sheâs ever made him feel like martyring himself is the only way to get her to acknowledge his devotion -- to settle it all. but yeah. he becomes hokage. a GOOD hokage.
r ) i love the idea of kurama just one day smugly bringing to their attention their shared connection to mito (i hc that mito developed the seal technique tsunade and sakura have) ânaruto? whatâs he saying? what does he mean?â âwell, uh⌠yâknow how baachanâs uzumaki mitoâs granddaughter? and mito was kuramaâs jinchuuriki before my mom? uh⌠what heâs saying is⌠mito developed the byakugou by accessing some of his chakra. so⌠that meansâŚâ and she finishes: âweâre both⌠kind of mitoâs disciples?â âthanks ultimately to kuramaâs chakra.. and.. being uzumaki...â he says somewhat blankly. and her brows shoot up as a sort of wry smile twitches on her lips, which then turns into a genuine grin. she looks at him with love in her eyes and repeats tenderly, âbeing uzumakiâŚâ kurama immediately kinda regrets his decision to share this fact when theyâre gonna be such sappy nerds about it
s) from my 1sentence challenge but it doubles as a hc: When he opened the door to their cozy apartment he saw her on the living room rug -- knees at a silly angle with fabric draped over her thighs, repeating the motion of her hand moving toward it, then away -- and when he got closer the red thread seemed to glimmer a greeting, her engagement ring winking in tandem, while she lovingly stitched the characters of his destiny onto the new haori.
..........i thought about stopping at n.... and then i decided i needed to get from n to s ;) (iâm embarrassing, i know, itâs ok, iâve come to terms with it)
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The one thing I regret about school or studying in general (long post, like hella long man)
I think there are many regrets when it comes down to how you have spent your early years in life whether it be socializing, having fun or just studying. Iâve seen a lot posts and people saying that they regretted not having more fun in school or not paying attention in class, or anything similar to that. I wanna add something to that. I also wanna post a solution to that as well. Now youâll have to excuse my english and grammar (pls no hate).
One thing i realized, now that Iâm in my second year of college, is that i regret not pushing my parents to put me through private classes/tuition classes. I noticed early on during the one or two years that my parents put me through private lessons that I did REALLY well in school. Like, i was put in private classes for flute lessons, and it made me get the first chair (which is like the top seat in band class) during my 5th grade. Or in 6th grade, when my parents put me in a tuition class for math and i really excelled in Algebra 1 during that year. But being the whiny and lazy shit that I am, i didnât want to continue those classes. Partially because i realized that we were financially struggling and also because i was just plain lazy (i admit i was a piece of shit). Now i realize that most parents (of asian decent especially) push their kids to do hundreds of these private lessons and classes to make their kids be the very best with no regards of their mental stress level or what their kids might be feeling. And my parents probably didnât want to put that amount stress on, so they never pushed for me to go through this.Â
But you know what, I really wish they did. Now im not putting all the blame on my parents and i really do appreciate that they didnt bombard me with school and studying all the time. But this really caused me to take on harder classes (while failing them lol) at school to show that I am smart and that I need to raise their expectations of me, When my parents just told me to do whatever the hell i want (not really socially but in terms of studying), and when they said they have no expectations of me, it felt like it implied that they thought i was just plain stupid and i wasnât worth their time.
I wanted to decrease their financial burden and i tried studying for myself, but obviously i wasnt doing it right, so i didnt really do well in my classes. Even now im struggling because I dont know how to properly study in the way thats right for me.
Now for my solution:
I know my future kids wont have the same learning style that i did, where tuition/private classes helped me learn. But i can try putting them through them to test out if they are able to get help from them. Iâll try putting my expectations on them. I wanna try pushing them, but with caution. I know that if my kid is excelling in their classes because of the private lesson, then Iâll ask them whether they think its helpful to them and whether they want to continue doing them. If they dont like them, even after seeing the positive results, then ill make a deal (a contract you could say). Theyâll have to give up a little bit (i dont know how long those classes would take) of their time and do these private lessons for me, because regardless of what they think is âfunâ for them, i want them to grow up with the right habits and understanding. In return, i wont yell or scold at them constantly outside of this allotted time to constantly keep studying. They can play whatever games or go outside do whatever they want (Keeping in mind they have homework to finish, tho). I wont deprive them of having fun and socializing. I know its needed. Afterwards, when its time to go into college, they are free to do whatever they want. I will never bother them about their studies or anything because i trust that they will have the correct habits to study on their own.
On the other hand, if my kids dont find good results coming from their private lessons, then there are three cases at play here: 1) the private classes is not very good or isnt compatible with my childâs learning style 2) my kids arent putting enough effort 3) they really just arent getting no matter how hard they try. Now with #1, i can easily find other methods or classes to put them, if they want to. With #2, I have to somehow make them understand the importance of putting in this effort now, i wont pressure them to do this if they really dont care or dont want to do it. In the case of #3, Iâll just work with whatever passion, or thing they really want or are good at (like art or something).Â
I know for sure with the âcontractâ thing is to make sure that I keep my promise, and i wonât abuse my ârightâ or whatever as a parent to bully my kids into doing what i want them to do. I want to treat them with respect and make sure they understand that everyone in the house is responsible for their actions. If i make a mistake as a parent, they can put a âcheckâ on saying, âhey mom, i dont think what you did the other day was right, i was feeling like so and so, and i think its better if we could do it like this from now on, is that ok?â and iâll gladly take in that thought and work with it along with them. I dont want them to bottle up any stress or whatever âinjusticeâ they think is going on. And supposing they think whatever iâm doing wrong is not actually âwrongâ per say (idk how to explain this, like they think making them clean up as a chore is wrong, when really its teaching them to be good people around the house kind of example), ill have to explain to them why doing these things are good for them.
I know i kinda went off track here but i want to explain how i wanted my family to run when i was growing up. I grew up thinking sometimes why in the world do i have to do this around the house or make sure that im studying for the classes without help from others and shit like without any sort of explanation. I assumed things on my own and it resulted to me regretting all sorts of things.
I dont want that for my kids.
I hope they understand this.
#long post#me#studying#regrets#school#expectations#parenting#advice#growing up#children#kids#parenting advice#tests#classes#math#english#what i want to do#future#future plans#plans#is this wrong?#my post#deeeeetz#how to be a parent in the future#socializing#having fun#fun#worries#rants#rant post
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