#and that is. a fine solution. i'll give myself that

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 12

Chapter 11 Letter

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

???: Is this also God's guidance? Miss Emma, it's been a while.

The moment I heard that gentle and calm voice, as if all the surrounding noise had been erased and the surroundings were enveloped in benevolence, an unknown chill ran down my spine.

-- A few hours earlier.

Emma: Prince Azel, I'm off.

Azel: It must be tough for you every day.

I put on the bag filled with books and covered my head with a stole to protect myself from the sand.

It was a solution that Prince Azel had taught me when I told him I was troubled by the fine sand getting in my hair.

(Even though he says "I don't care," he's a surprisingly caring God.)

Azel: You're going to the place of that big merchant who manages the market today, right?

Emma: ...Did I even tell you that?

Azel: I just happened to see the books you were packing in your bag.

Azel: I have a connection with him. I know his taste in books.

(To deduce that just from the specialized books on art...)

Azel: If you're going to the city, take this with you.

It seemed like Prince Azel's main point was an errand, as he handed me a folded piece of paper.

The letters written all over it were scribbled and honestly hard to read.

(Prince Azel's letters all look like horizontal lines except for the first letter.)

It took me a few minutes to decipher the letters that were probably created as a result of prioritizing efficiency.

Azel: And one more thing.

Just as I finally understood the contents, he handed me an envelope as an additional request.

Azel: Give this to the person who calls out to you.

Emma: It's like a prophecy.

Azel: It's not "like" a prophecy, it is a prophecy. Someone will definitely call out to you.

Azel: Let's see... If you have time, you can attend to his request.

Azel: You were interested in Tanzanite divination, right? It wouldn't be bad to experience the real thing once.

(It seems like the future I can't see is clearly reflected in Prince Azel's eyes.)

There are still things I don't understand about the mysteries of the "Living God."

Whether it's a mystery or just foresight –

Azel: Oh, and also...

Emma: Is there more!?

Azel: If a suspicious old man calls out to you, ignore him.

Azel: If you lose to your conscience and listen to his sweet words, all that awaits you is ruin.

Emma: ...That's casually scary.

Azel: It's the truth. Listen, indiscriminate kindness is not a virtue, it's just stupidity.

Azel: This world is overflowing with "madmen who aren't aware of their own evil."

Azel: As Belle, you're a good target for anyone. Leave the scamming to me.

(Though Prince Azel's scams aren't good either...)

Emma: ...Understood. I understand that you're worried about me, Prince Azel.

Emma: I'll do my best to run away from any trouble.

Azel: I'm not worried.

Azel: I'm just saying don't cause me any trouble.

Azel: I've already been put through enough trouble, I don't need any more.

(Hmm... He won't meet my eyes.)

Emma: I understand, Prince Azel.

Emma: Actually, you're so worried that you can't stand it, but your embarrassment keeps you from saying it honestly––

Emma: Ow...! My cheeks are going to rip!

Azel: That's divine punishment for your ignorance.

Azel: Would you please stop being so conceited? I'm not interested in other people.

As if to tell me to hurry up and go, Prince Azel grabbed my shoulder and forcefully turned my body around.

(Now that I know Prince Azel is a tsundere who's bad at expressing himself, I can't help but grin at every little thing.)

Perhaps sensing my amusement, he gave me a strong push on my back, and I left the temple, stumbling a little.

-

Emma: ...Huh?

Silvio: What?

As I left the office of the association that manages the market, I happened to meet someone I knew.

Silvio: You again? If you came out of there, does that mean your client is Temer?

Emma: That's right.

As Prince Azel had said, Mr. Temer was a big merchant who controlled the market, and he was generous with rewards in the form of books.

Silvio: Your guest is quite a big shot.

(Now that I think about it, the Living God, the chairman of the tourism association, the big merchant of the market...)

(The owner only has connections with big shots.)

Silvio: Are ya done with your business for today?

Emma: Yes. After this, I just have to run an errand for Prince Azel... Ah!

I suddenly remembered and took the envelope out of my bag.

(It seems like the prophecy came true.)

Emma: Prince Azel asked me to give this to you.

Silvio: Ha, I don't remember making any plans to meet with you, though?

Silvio: That guy really is thorough in these matters.

After receiving the letter, Prince Silvio immediately cut it open with a small knife he had and read through it, but...

Judging from the wrinkles between his eyebrows, it seems like I'm not the only one who struggles with his handwriting.

Silvio: Damn, not only is it a pain to decipher, it's also a hell of a deal.

Emma: Is it about business?

Silvio: Yeah, somethin' like that.

After looking up from the letter, Prince Silvio stared at me with an impolite gaze.

(He looks like he wants to say something.)

Silvio: ...Well, whatever. Woman, accompany me while you're running errands for the God.

Emma: Is there something you need help with?

Silvio: There might be, there might not be.

(...)

His vague attitude bothered me, but Prince Azel's prophecy was still fresh in my mind.

Emma: Understood. It's a rare opportunity to get in Prince Silvio's good graces.

Silvio: You might actually end up being the buyer.

Silvio: First, let's find a gift.

(A gift...?)

-

Silvio: Hey, drunkard diviner.

Diviner: Ah, Prince Silvio, I've been waiting for you. I brought my collection of rare alcohol today, but...

Sitting at the table in the tavern, enjoying his drink, was a man veiled in mystery.

Our eyes met through the translucent cloth, and for some reason, he was astonished.

Diviner: The woman next to you...is...

Diviner: ...Could it be, the foreign girl that the Living God is passionately infatuated with...!

(...I want to say it's a misunderstanding, but I can't...)

As I forced myself to swallow the words that were about to come out, the diviner stood up abruptly and offered me his seat.

Diviner: I'm fine on the floor.

Emma: You are not fine, please sit back down!

Diviner: How can I possibly sit comfortably in front of the supreme treasure of the Living God?

Emma: The Living God... surely wouldn't want this.

Diviner: How merciful...!

(He's reacting this way because he's drunk, right? I want to believe that.)

Silvio: Passionately infatuated...

Silvio: I want to know more about that.

(Oh no...)

As a guest staying at the castle, Prince Silvio must have heard some rumors, but judging from his reaction, he might not have grasped the details yet.

Emma: M-more importantly, don't you have more important business to attend to?

Silvio: Not really, I just thought I'd have a drink with the drunkard.

Emma: In the middle of the day?

Silvio: I don't have much work today.

Silvio: Besides, in Tanzanite, there's no one more informed than a diviner.

Silvio: It's more convenient to bribe a diviner than to hire a lousy informant.

(Why is that?)

When Prince Silvio offered the expensive alcohol he had bought on the way, the diviner's eyes changed.

Silvio: So, what happened with that greedy God?

Emma: Oh, that's right! I'm interested in divination!

Emma: I heard that Tanzanite has its own unique astrology...

Emma: I've never seen a real divination before, so I'd like to see it... or something like that.

I forcibly changed the subject before he could pry any further.

(I'm not lying.)

(I know about Prince Azel's fraudulent divination, but now I'm not even sure if that was really divination...)

Emma: Would it trouble you to tell my fortune sometime when you're free?

Diviner: Not at all! If you're interested, I can show you right now.

(Right now!?)

The diviner stood up, grabbed a nearby bag, and took out paper, a pen, ink, and a beautiful disc engraved with numerous letters.

*flashback*

Azel: All diviners in Tanzanite are interested in the sky.

Azel: The basis of divination in our country is astrology.

*flashback over*

Emma: ––Is that a horoscope?

While I was dumbfounded, a fragment of memory flickered in my mind.

Diviner: Yes. But it's different from the ones prevalent in other countries.

Diviner: What Tanzanite diviners use is an astrological chart built up by successive Living Gods...

Diviner: It's the "stars" spun by the Living God himself.

(I don't know anything about astrology, so I don't understand what's different...)

(Maybe it means the horoscope itself is unique and handmade by the God?)

Diviner: The one I have is an old chart, and the stars of the current Living God aren't engraved on it...

Diviner: But that probably won't affect the results of the divination.

Silvio: Come to think of it, I've only ever seen fake divination.

(...I feel like he's talking about Prince Azel's divination.)

Silvio: Woman, what exactly are ya goin' to have him tell your fortune about?

Emma: Anything is fine?

Diviner: Of course. Divination unravels the tangles of worries and anxieties and shows people the path to a certain tomorrow.

Diviner: I don't think it's necessary for the daughter blessed by the Living God, but please ask me anything.

(Since it's a rare opportunity, I should ask about my love life...)

(...But I feel like it's dangerous to ask that in my current position.)

Emma: Actually, I'm in debt.

Silvio: Huh?

Emma: I'm working hard every day to repay that debt...

Emma: Will I be able to repay it in the future?

(I can't return to Rhodolite unless I repay it... It's my most pressing concern right now.)

Diviner: Let's ask the Gods. But before that...

Diviner: First, please answer a few questions.

With Prince Silvio watching over me, I answered the questions one by one.

From personal information to intuitive questions with unreadable intentions like "Which do you choose, red or blue?", it wasn't so much about being exposed by mystical powers, but rather each piece of information I answered seemed to become the foundation of the divination.

(This is completely different from Prince Azel's way.)

(...When I'm questioned so thoroughly like this, I understand what he meant by "knowing more than an informant.")

Prince Silvio seemed to have gotten bored halfway through and started drinking by himself after ordering alcohol from the waiter.

After a considerable amount of time had passed, the diviner who had been looking at the horoscope finally looked up.

Diviner: ––The oracle has spoken.

Diviner: If you continue to do what you should do, the misfortune that has befallen you will surely be dispelled.

Diviner: The guidance of the moon's incarnation shows a good omen that you will become free.

Emma: Really? That's great.

(I'm so glad it's not a future where I'm eternally exploited by Prince Azel!)

Silvio: Ha, it's just a divination, right?

Silvio: If you're in debt, what else can you do but work your fingers to the bone?

Emma: ...I was caught by a rather special swindler, so I'm happy even if it's just for peace of mind.

Silvio: Peace of mind won't solve anything.

Diviner: No. Prophecies come true most of the time. That's the divination of our country.

Diviner: Unlike other countries, in this country, which is directly blessed by God, the future is a "guaranteed reality."

(...Prince Azel said something similar.)

(Come to think of it, it's only recently that divination has become inaccurate.)

(Was it really a "guaranteed reality" before that?)

Diviner: People rely on divination before doing anything. Employment, starting a business, marriage partners, politics, everything...

Diviner: For the people of Tanzanite, divination is the star on the vast ocean.

Diviner: Why can navigators steer their ships without getting lost even in the middle of the vast ocean...?

Diviner: It's because there are stars in the sky that indicate direction.

Diviner: Divination plays the role of those stars, and it's an essential and important thing.

Diviner: We don't know the "uncertain future."

(...I think I understand this country's view of divination.)

(The reason why the people of Tanzanite are in a panic now is...)

(Because the stars that should have always been there suddenly disappeared one day.)

Crossing the ocean without a compass or stars must be incredibly difficult.

Perhaps people are left behind on the dark ocean, trembling with anxiety.

Silvio: I wonder what the Living God thinks of this current situation?

Prince Silvio, putting down his alcohol, dropped his gaze to the unique disc engraved with small letters.

Silvio: The people of Tanzanite can't live without God now.

Silvio: They are kept alive by God and have built prosperity by God.

Silvio: Did God wish for this...?

*flashback*

Azel: Someone once said that humans are thinking reeds.

Azel: But those who give up thinking for themselves are just reeds.

Azel: It's a fitting image for this country where the plants have withered.

*flashback over*

Emma: No... I don't think he wished for this.

Prince Silvio, as well as the diviner, widened their eyes slightly at my firm declaration.

Silvio: ...If you, who he's so passionately infatuated with, say so, then it must be true.

Silvio: If God didn't wish for this...

Silvio: Then who the hell created this situation?

(...Who created...)

Neither I nor the diviner had an answer.

The quiet tavern in the middle of the day was enveloped in silence.

Prince Silvio's casual question sank deep into my heart.

-

When we left the tavern, the sunlight had already begun to slant.

Emma: Speaking of which, what was it that you needed help with?

Silvio: Huh? Let's see...

Silvio: Moral support.

Emma: ...Does stopping me have anything to do with Prince Azel's letter?

(There's no way Prince Silvio would bring me along without a reason.)

Silvio: Who knows?

Silvio: ...Hm?

???: Is this also God's guidance? Miss Emma, it's been a while.

(...!)

The moment I heard that gentle and calm voice, as if all the surrounding noise had been erased and the surroundings were enveloped in benevolence, an unknown chill ran down my spine.

Trying to calm my heart that was beating like an alarm, I slowly turned around –

An elderly man with a benevolent smile, unchanged from when I saw him before, approached me.

(The High Priest...)

High Priest: This is a precious opportunity.

High Priest: Miss Emma, would you like to listen to the sermon as well?

.

.

.

Chapter 13

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Isol:(running in, gun in his hand) Can't you guys fucking read?!

Yuki:I tried to tell them not to enter the room!

Hyunwoo:Well you wrote weird stuff! Who the hell puts a note in a locker that says "nosy people get fucked"!

Isol:Are you nosy?!

Hyunwoo:Maybe!

Yuki:Can we focus on killing that thing?

[froggiewrites]

Hii, I hope you're doing well, if not I'll hope things will go better!

I really liked your writing like it's so good!!

I have an sfw request about Ace.

So basically reader is feeling really sick recently so they spend a lot of time with Marco who gives them advices and all, and Ace gets jealous about this cause he thinks that reader is interested in Marco so one day when he's with the both of them he just says something like "oh I wouldn't want to be the third wheel" like something that clearly shows that he thought the two of them were now a couple and when he learns that they're not he immediately confess to reader?

I really hope it's not too precise, if you want to change things feel free to since you're the artist here, and I hope you understood (English isn't my first language) thank you so much for the other stories!

Take care, bye bye!

Hi, thank you so much for your well wishes and your request! Sorry this took so long, I burned myself out a little bit with the Halloween event and it took me a little time to get back into the swing of things. This one is short and sweet, and I hope you like it!

Third Wheeling It

Pairing: Ace x Reader

SFW

Summary: You've been spending a lot of time down in the clinic with Marco recently, and Ace gets the wrong idea. Warnings: Fluff, Misunderstandings, Very Little Hurt/Lots of Comfort, Idiots in Love Word Count: 1.6k

You’re convinced you’re never going to feel normal again. You have a headache you just can’t shake, and a fatigue down to your bones. You haven’t been able to shake whatever it is, no matter how much you rest.

“Are you really sure I just need to take it easy? It’s been weeks.”

Marco gives you a sympathetic look. “I know, but you really do just need time. You burned yourself out. Recovering from that takes a while.” He had been telling you that since you first started making regular visits to his office a couple weeks ago. You had spent a majority of the last week curled up in one of the beds in the clinic, pretending to rest but really just bothering Marco to entertain yourself. You suppose it was rest, in a way, but you liked to pretend you were somehow tricking him, getting away with something. It made you feel less helpless, and helped ease the ache of missing your normal routine.

You throw yourself down on the cot you had claimed for your own. “But I want to be better now.”

He laughs. “Don’t we all. If desire were all it took, I would be out of a job.”

“You could still fight. You don’t need to be a doctor to be a pirate.”

“True enough. But my point still stands: if our bodies listened to what we wanted there would be no need for doctors. Sometimes there really is no magic solution other than time.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” He passes by your cot, ruffling your hair light as he walks past. “But you’ll pull through.”

“Will you sit with me? We can suffer together.”

“I have work to do,” he says, sitting on the edge of your cot with a slight smile anyway. “And I wouldn’t really call hanging out with you suffering.”

You smile sleepily. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You need to raise your standards.”

“My standards are sky high, thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? What are they, then?”

“One, handsome. Two, nice to me. Three, end of list.”

He laughs. “God, the bar is in the ground for you, huh? Let me correct that for you: three, be Portgas D. Ace.”

You blush. “That–I–uh. Shut up!”

Marco is still laughing at you when you hear a throat clear in the doorway. You both look up to see the man you were just speaking of leaning against the doorframe, his eyes avoiding yours, a slight frown on his lips. “Sorry, I just–I heard you were down here again, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You smile at him, bright and earnest. “I’m doing alright, I guess. As well as I can be.”

Marco stands, moving away from your bed and back to his desk, more than willing to let Ace take his place at your sickbed. “They’re fine, really. They just hate listening to me.”

“I’d like listening to you if you had better things to say.”

“Ouch!” He puts a hand over his chest. “I’m just doing my job here!”

As you both giggle with each other, Marco trying to distract you and you trying to let him, you both miss Ace shifting uncomfortably and biting his lip. However, once you’ve come back down, you don’t miss the way he’s looking at you, a look far too intense to dismiss. It’s strange, somewhere half between hurt and resignation. Something flashes in his eyes, something pained, but before you can ask him what’s wrong he’s already turned his back. “I’ll leave you two to hang out. I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re leaving already?” You can’t leave the sorrow out of your voice or the pout off of your face. “But I’ve missed you.” And you had, really. Spending most of your time down here with Marco means you’ve barely spent any time at all with Ace these past few weeks. You had missed everything about him, from his smile to his laugh to his loud, obnoxious snores when he passed out halfway through dinner. 

His shoulders stiffen. His voice is tight when he speaks again. “You shouldn’t say things like that. You could give a guy the wrong idea.”

You sit up, wincing but forcing yourself through the discomfort. “What kind of wrong idea?”

“The idea that you might be…interested.”

“That sounds like the right idea, actually.”

He whips around, his face painted with hurt. “That isn’t funny.”

“Who’s joking?”

“I…really. This isn’t…this is cruel. Having to third wheel with you two is hard enough without…”

Marco finally speaks up, his voice filled with confusion. “Third wheel?”

“Yeah, watching you two get closer while I have to pretend I’m fine is hard enough, you guys don’t need to rub it in my face.” He doesn’t sound angry, really, just defeated and pained. “I’m trying to be happy for you, you don’t need to make it harder than it already is.”

You furrow your brow. “Happy for us?”

Marco can’t help the surprised bark of a laugh that leaves him. “You think we’re dating?”

Ace pauses. “You…aren’t?”

“Hell no!”

“Absolutely not!”

You and Marco both instantly refute the claim, perhaps a little more harshly than necessary.

Ace lights up like the sun. “You mean it?”

“Of course we mean it!” You cry.

“Why wouldn’t we mean it?” Marco chuckles, voice filled with the sort of weary but unwavering affection Ace tends to bring out in people. 

“Will you go out with me?” Ace stares at you with wide, pleading eyes, already moving to beg on his hands and knees, as though he expects rejection.

“You aren’t really my type,” Marco quips with a laugh, before closing the curtain to give you two some privacy.

It’s your turn to be shocked, heart beating out of your chest and cheeks flushing. “You–I–What?”

He grins, on his knees in front of you, taking a hand in his. “I like you, a lot. Will you go out with me?”

“This is so sudden.” You want to say yes, of course. Why wouldn’t you? But you weren’t expecting such a confession today, and your head is still pounding, and you can’t quite get over the thought that Marco is listening right behind the curtain. You know that Ace doesn’t care about any of those things, blind to anything but his goal in any situation, but you could never be so headstrong, so carefree. Could you?

“I’ve liked you from the moment I saw you.” His smile is growing ever wider, his eyes filling with hope. “I thought I had lost my chance, and I will absolutely never take that risk again. Will you be mine? Or, I guess, could I be yours?”

Your cheeks are on fire, and your brain is melting, but your mouth moves despite yourself. “Yes,” you hear yourself say.

You’re pinned to the bed as he throws himself at you, laughing joyously. “Yes? Oh my god, yes!” He tucks his face into your neck, and you can feel his smile. “I never thought it’d be a yes.”

“How could it be anything else?” Your voice is soft, more vulnerable than you’d like. But you would never understand how he could expect anything less than success. You don’t know how anyone could speak to Ace for longer than five minutes and not fall madly and deeply in love with everything about him: his smile, his humor, his confidence. He shines like the sun, and you don’t know how anyone could ever resist basking in his warmth for as long as they can.

“Well up until a couple minutes ago I thought you were in love with Marco.”

You laugh. “I’ve been sick, Ace. He’s a doctor.”

He doesn’t respond, and you can see a bit of pink at the tips of his ears. “How was I supposed to know?”

“You could have asked.”

“You should listen to them,” Marco calls from behind the curtain. “This was entirely self-inflicted.”

“Shut up!” He finally leaves your neck just to shout at Marco, cheeks hot. “Would you have asked?”

“Yes. I’m a grown man. I can handle a tough conversation.”

“Well–I–Shut up!”

Marco laughs, and you can hear the door slam shut behind him. Ace buries himself in your neck again, his strong arms pulling around you even tighter, and you can’t help but smile. He seems so delicate like this, so unlike his usual self, and you can’t help but admire him. He’s so charming even now, so vulnerable and small. “I would have been too nervous to ask too,” you quietly reassure him. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because you said it.”

He smiles against your skin. “I did say it,” he mumbles. “And you accepted.”

“I did.”

“I really like you.”

“I really like you, too.”

You don’t have a moment to react before his lips are on yours, slightly chapped and hesitant. You imagine this is what sunlight tastes like, warm and inviting. His hand rests on your cheek, thumb brushing lightly against your skin. He’s smiling as he pulls away. “And now I can do that whenever I want.”

You grin. “You can. You’re encouraged, even.”

And so he kisses you again. Marco leaves you too alone for as long as he can justify to himself, and when he finally interrupts you two again you find yourself more than ready to leave the clinic again, a warm hand intertwined with yours and your headache nearly entirely gone.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece

[daenysx]

Hi lovey! How are you? I hope everything is going well. Can I request a “3 am” with James or Sirius (your choice :))with a reader who has insomnia please?

3.00 AM | JAMES POTTER

"jamie, your hand will go numb if you keep doing that."

"challenge accepted, my sweet angel."

you can't sleep and james rubs your back. he also drowns you in too sweet endearments, maybe they would make you blush and hide to his chest, you could close your eyes as you fall in love with him all over again. maybe he's dreaming, and this is not a really good solution. he'll keep doing it, though, until you tell him to stop.

"i'm so mad at myself." you say. you sound so desperate and tired, james can't help himself. he leans into your space to kiss your forehead for a few seconds. "i just want to sleep."

"i know, baby." he says. he knows, he tries to help. "you will fall asleep, i promise."

"i need to go to class tomorrow." you tell him, your voice carries hints of frustration. "if i sleep too late, i'll never wake up on time."

"don't stress yourself." james says. it's only worse for you. "i'll wake you up if you can't."

"you need sleep, too. i'm keeping you awake for nothing."

his hand on your back stops. he needs to give you a proper hug, he won't let you drown in sadness. "come here." he says, your body settles down on his chest with ease. "it's not like i can have a good sleep with you being awake next to me, unable to get any rest. don't blame yourself for my decisions, please."

you press your face to his neck. he smells nice, the cologne he likes to wear after shower fills your senses. he squeezes your body in a very fine way, you wrap your arms around him.

your body feels less tense. it's still hard to close your eyes, but with the passing seconds, it will be easier. james is warm, he manages to calm down your nerves. you let yourself melt against him. he's strong enough to hold you like this the entire night.

"try to close your eyes for me, hmm?" he whispers to you in the dark. so gentle, so good. you do as he says. "don't force yourself, just relax. it'll be okay."

at some point of his reassuring sentences, you slip away and a faint wave of sleep catches you.

dreamer girl sleepover ♡

[thechekhov]

Hello! I'm a big fan of your work. I wanted to ask for advice / thoughts about an art problem I've been struggling with that you seem to have at least some sort of solution for?

So basically I'm an animator and digital artist (hobbyist), and I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for things to make. Only problem is that most of these ideas would take up to or longer than 2 months to make because, yknow, animation isn't quick, especially if you want to take your time to make it good. But with so many ideas that all take so long to complete, I often find myself tied and frozen as I can't decide what's most worthwhile to start first. I passionately want to complete all these projects, but my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control, and I've just been stuck for several months. You juggle a lot of projects- not all of them art, but it still seems applicable here. This is excluding other life responsibilities like work and stuff, I don't have problems with getting that stuff done. This is purely within my creative hobby.

If u can't say anything thats fine I'm just curious- You have a massive output with great quality. Thank you!

This is a very kind message, and one that humbles me a lot, because although I'd love to bestow upon you some sort of advice that might help, or give words of wisdom..............I feel like that would be fake of me because

I also suffer from this very same thing

That is to say, this part of your message:

my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control

It rings true for me too! I think it might ring true for many others as well.

There are stories in my head all the time. There are stories, and concepts, and IDEAS and they are all so shiny and new in the beginning, and then they slowly peter out and, since I frequently don't have time to do anything about them, they fade into the background.

I have enough trouble with this in terms of COMICS (also a lengthy medium, though less so than animation, which, OOF, you have my condolences, you are stronger than I) that I have started to just come to terms with the fact that some things are not meant to be.

Which is, I think, one of the small bits of advice I can give.

1. Some things may just be ideas, and that's okay.

I think one of the best ways that I've learned to deal with Idea-Death is making it count towards something in the future. That is to say, using them as compost.

In order for this to work, you have to actively put your ideas into the compost pin instead of the trash. That means maybe investing in either a notebook, or a sketchbook, OR just a discord server for yourself where you organize ideas and dump them all into a channel to scroll back through later.

It may seem useless at first, but honestly, it can be satisfying to PUT them somewhere instead of letting them fade away.

Plus, you may one day scroll through them and rediscover an idea at just the right time. OR you may be inspired to take parts of an old idea and repurpose it for a new idea that you DO have motivation for.

However, there's also this part, right?

I've just been stuck for several months

I.......feel this. Sometimes I, too, feel stuck for several months. There are times when even if I WANT to work on something, I just don't have the time. It takes too long to finish!

.........which is why I recommend the following:

2. Don't finish. Just start.

Now, this is the toughie. I can't exactly say that it would work for everyone. But I have learned that I am WAY more likely to return to a project and work on it again sometime in the future if I actually DO something for it the first time I get inspired.

I have SO MANY things that I have not published in my folders. I have sketches of gifs that are 10 frames long. I have concept art sketches boldly labeled with project names that will likely never get off the ground. I have Googledoc files with summary and plot outlines for stories I'll probably never write. I have discord channels with random ass concepts and a few sketches for characters.

And what I have found is that if I just WORK on these ideas when I feel like it, they are more likely to survive, even if they don't thrive right away.

I'm also a huge proponent of Procrastination Rotation.

That is to say, I have so many projects I COULD be working on, that if I ever feel frustrated or stuck on one thing, I just shift myself slightly to the left and do another thing instead. I almost never force myself to work through a block (save for a few money-motivated deadlines) just to complete a thing.

Stuck on a comic? I'll go write a few lines of fic. Unsatisfied with where the fic is going?

I'll go sketch out an illustration. Incapable of finishing an illustration?

I'll go google some references for another comic project and slap them all into an image file for later, so that I have SOMETHING in place for when I want to do studies.

And so on and so forth.

I have comic ideas, and comic sketches, and 30+ pages of original comics sketched. I don't know if they'll make it. It would take a lot of work.

But it also takes very little work - just a few extra pages sketched while I'm bored for an hour. Or a bit of lineart while I listen to a podcast. Or just a doodle somewhere which I snap a pic of and add to my discord channel for that project.

Will it work for everyone? Probably not. But I think that our creative culture is sometimes too attached to a linear production style. The truth is that art, or illustrations, or animation, or comics - none of it has to be on an assembly line. It can be tinkered with and put aside. And then, maybe, picked apart for scraps.........or maybe made into something new!

I don't know if that helps you at all, but I hope it at least helps someone.

And good luck with your animating!

[808airsoftbros]

Who's the Bustiest? (Female Idols) (BXG) (S)

Author: This is an idea that I got from Discord and came up with this. Hope you enjoy it and if you want to check out my Masterlist for more fics :)

Y/N's POV

It was my first day of college, I was quite excited as I'd get the opportunity to learn new things, make new friends, and perhaps find love.

But I knew that was all delusional love stories that you see in web dramas although they are entertaining to watch after school.

Anyway, I was on my way to my first class, that was until I heard the loud sounds of footsteps approaching me and I turned around and saw a woman running towards me.

"What the-" I was about to say but it was too late as the girl ran into me.

What was worse was that she was holding a cup of cappuccino and it spilled all over my new Addidas jacket which isn't cheap.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" The girl apologized and rushed to get some tissues from her bag.

"Aish... It's okay... Are you hurt?" I checked and she shook her head.

"N-No, but thank you for asking," She answered.

"Oh my Lord, Unnie are you okay?!" Another girl approached and she nodded.

"I-I'm fine, it's my fault! I wasn't looking!" She said and she sighed.

Though my jacket was soaked and stained with coffee, my shirt escaped without a drip of coffee so at least I didn't need to change clothes right now.

"We're so sorry about this, Jisun-Unnie here can be a bit clumsy sometimes, I am Natty, second-year," She introduced herself.

"Oh, I'm Y/N, first year," I replied and she nodded.

"Ah, so you're a freshman, well in that case, welcome to our school," She said and I thanked her.

Taking off my jacket soaked, I tried to squeeze as much coffee out as possible. I was planning to quickly make a run to the dry cleaners on campus but Jisun-Noona and Natty-Noona insisted on cleaning it themselves seeing it was Jisun-Nonna's fault.

At first, I was reluctant to do so as I didn't fully trust them despite them being my sunbaenims but you cannot be too safe.

"It's okay, Y/N, your jacket will be safe with us. Here, I'll give you our numbers as insurance, and I'll text you when it's ready," She suggested and I nodded.

"Sounds fair," I agreed and opened my phone app.

Adding them to my contacts, I thanked them as I handed over my jacket to them, and we went seperate ways to go to our classes.

Heading to my first subject, math, I was greeted by the professor and I greeted her back before taking my seat.

After about ten minutes, the lecture started, and the professor wasted no time getting into the intro to Calculus. Being a math nerd, the lesson wasn't hard and I was able to easily figure it out.

Working on a problem, I felt someone poking my shoulder and I looked to see a beautiful and busty girl poking me to get my attention.

"H-Hey, do you mind helping me with this?" She shyly asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, no prob," I answered and she smiled.

"Thank you! I'm Lee Saerom, second-year, and what about you?" She kindly asked and I introduced myself.

Helping her with the problem, she was amazed at how easily I was able to solve it and I showed her step-by-step on how to solve the formula and find the proper solution.

Most of it was basic Algebra which she wasn't too half bad on but still could use more work if she wants to succeed in the class.

"T-Thank you but I could use your help in the future. Do you mind if we exchange numbers?" She asked and I agreed.

"Sure, why not?" I answered and I input my number.

Adding her to my contacts, I felt lucky at how I managed to get three girl's number... Even though I'm not going out with either of them. Hehe.

After class, was over, the rest of my three classes were uneventful as the professors were introducing their first lessons and shit.

With my day of college over for today, I got a text from Natty saying that my jacket is now ready for pick up and uploaded a photo.

I was shocked at how cleaned it looked as if it just came out of the production line.

I texted Natty that I'd meet her at whatever nearby location, and she texted suggesting to meet her at her dormitory.

"Okay, come to Dorm 321,"

Giving her a thumbs up emoji, I put my phone away in my pocket, and I looked to see three other hot woman coming my way and they do not look happy.

"You! Punk!" One of them pointed at me.

"Me?" I asked and she marched toward me before harshly grabbing my collar.

"Did you hit our friend?!" She angrily asked and I was fucking confused.

"W-What are you talking about?!" I nervously asked as I have no idea what they're accusing me of.

"Liar!" The other woman who also have huge boobs said and I gulped.

It didn't take long for them to beat the shit out of me and I was totally helpless. My arms and legs were sore, and I was left with a black eye.

Fucking hell, what is their damn problem?! I should report them to the police for assault!

Whatever, the police wouldn't believe that a man was beaten up by three busty women so I took a deep breath and decided to let the whole transgression slide.

Despite being injured a bit, I make my way to my Noona's dorm as instructed. Each step I took stung the living shit out of me but I kept going.

"Jeez, this is not how I imagined my first day of college..." I muttered as I painfully make my way into the elevator.

Once the elevator reached the third floor, I got some stares from other students but I ignored them.

Finally arriving at Dorm 312, I didn't see any doorbell so I texted Natty that I'd arrived and she said she'd be there in a few minutes.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait too long as Natty opened the door with my freshly cleaned jacket in hand and she was horrified to see bruises and scars all over my body and uniform.

"My God! What the hell happened to you?! Did you get into a fight?!" She frantically asked and I shook my head.

"I fell," I lied and she sighed.

"Come on, I'll treat your wounds," She said before stepping aside.

"No! No! It's fine, I'll just go to the nurse's office," I declined but she didn't take "No" as an answer.

Dragging me inside of her dorm making me hiss in pain and she apologized. She helps me take off my shoes and bag before guiding me to the couch to lay down.

"Wait here! I'll get some medicine!" She instructed and I nodded.

Going up the stairs, I take out my phone go through Instagram and watched a few Youtube reels to pass the time.

"The fuck?! Why are you in our dorm?!" I heard a dreaded familiar voice and I looked to see the same girl that jumped me.

"N-Natty dragged me in here!" I pleaded and she scoffed.

"Unlikely story, I guess I need to teach you another lesson!" She said before cracking her knuckles.

Right when she was about to punch me in the gut, she was held back by Jisun and she gave her a confused look.

"J-Jisun, what are you doing?! This psycho is in our house!" She said but she shook her head.

"No, Unnie! He is our friend! He's the one I spilled coffee on!" Jisun explained and her eyes widened in horror.

"O-Oh my... I-I am so so sorry! We completely misunderstood! We thought you tried to kidnap her!" She frantically apologized and I chuckled.

"I-It's okay, Noona, I understand you wanted to protect your friend," I forgave her and she sighed in relief.

"Okay, now that's settled, I am Kim Sejeong and I guess you've already met Jisun. The two others are Kwun Eunbi and Park Jihyo, we are third-year students," She introduced herself.

Coming down the stairs, Natty comes to treat my wounds but we keep our conversation secret so as to not start any conflicts.

"Sorry, Y/N but this might sting a little," She warned before applying the alcohol wipes and I hissed.

"Damn, that's strong..." I muttered.

Finishing up bandaging my arm, it was clear she was a nursing student as she did it professionally and I kinda blushed as her boobs were pressing against my shoulder.

"Alright your right arm should be good, now can you please remove your shirt?" She asked and I blushed.

"U-Uhm, what?" I stuttered and she giggled.

"It's okay, I'm not going to make fun of you," She assured.

"Yeah, it's not like anything we haven't seen before," Eunbi said before sipping a cup of tea.

Reluctantly taking off shirt, Natty goes on to treat the bruises on my chest and stomach.

"Damn, you really did a number on yourself, huh?" She asked and I slowly nodded.

"Haha, yeah..." I replied.

Bandaging and applying cream on my bruises and injuries, I had to remain shirtless for the rest of the day.

After more than an hour, Natty finishes up treating my wounds and I thanked her for her help.

"Don't mention it. You mind as well stay here for the night, besides you can't really move around too much. If you need to use the bathroom or shower, just let me know," She instructed and sighed imagining Natty holding my cock while taking a piss.

"Oh, and don't worry, I had to handle plenty of old man dicks in my nursing school," She assured before winking and I gulped.

"Or maybe I can help you~!" Jihyo flirted and I blushed like a tomato making Natty playfully roll her eyes.

"Oh, Jihyo-Unnie, can you please not? You're going to make the poor kid pass out!" She jokingly said and she laughed her ass off.

Opening the door, I was surprised to see Saerom coming inside and she was just as surprised to see me in the dorm.

"Y/N, what are you doing here? And why are you shirtless....?" She asked and Natty rose an eyebrow.

"You two know each other?" She curiously asked and I shyly nodded.

"We have the same calculus class," I answered and she nodded.

"I see, well, no need for introductions then," She mentioned until we heard someone clearing their throat and we turned to see a big curvy ass woman coming down the stairs and staring down at me.

"Now. Now. What do we have here? Natty what have you brought here?" The woman asked.

"Oh, Unnie, this is Y/N, freshmen, I treated his wounds so he needs to stay in our dorm for the night," She explained.

"Well, Y/N, I am Lee Chaerin the eldest of the group but you may call me CL-Noona if that's easier for you. I'll tolerate your presence here for now but by morning you must leave. Understood?" She asked and I frantically nodded.

"Awww~. Unnie, but I want to play with him~!" Sejeong complained and she rolled her eyes.

"Like how you do with every guy you meet?" CL-Noona rebutted and she pouted.

"B-But this one here is cute!" She replied and she sighed before shaking her head.

She signals everyone to gather around to the kitchen, they talk softly so I couldn't hear their conversation. After about a few more mintues of talking they come to me.

"Okay, Y/N, after much discussion, I've come to an compromise here, I'll allow you to move here to our dormitory," She explained and my eyes widened.

"W-What?!" I exclaimed.

"But under one condition..." She paused and I rose an eyebrow.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You must be our pet, our lover, and do everything we tell you to do. Now, you don't have to accept our terms and leave right now but imagine having seven sexy women taking care of you," She explained and I gulped.

Damn, well she isn't wrong, I've always dreamt of having a harem, and having all these busty woman to myself is something I never thought would happen.

After taking some time to contemplate my decision, I agreed with CL-Noona's term and she smiled along with the girls.

"Yay~! Now I can fu- I mean play with him!" Sejeong cheered.

"W-What was that?" I nervously asked.

"Oh, uhm, nothing, puppy~," She assured before pecking my cheek.

Right afterward, my life took a 360 turn, the girls went to my dorm took all my stuff, and moved them here. I noticed that they've been quite comfortable giving me tight hugs and wearing revealing clothing.

Thankfully, I was able to control myself before CL-Noona beats my ass for being a pervert but I have a feeling they want me to get hard.

"Hey puppy~," Saerom whispered and I turned to look at her.

"Hey, Noona," I replied and she pecked my lips.

"Mind answering a question?" She asked and I nodded.

"Which one of us do you like most?" She straightforwardly asked and I gulped as I didn't know how to answer her question.

"I-I don't know, Noona, I like all of you," I nervously answered and she frowned showing her dissatisfaction.

"Aww~. Come on, baby, I know you must like one of us more... Maybe my boobs might change your mind~," She suggested before taking off her shirt revealing her black-laced bra and I blushed at the sight of her mounds.

Suddenly, the door opened and Jisun gasped at the sight of Searom's half-naked self and she immediately pulled her out.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" Jisun asked and she giggled.

"I just wanted to know if I'm Y/N's favorite~," She answered and she huffed.

"Oh, really~? Then Y/N, what do you think of these babies~?" She teasingly asked as she takes off her tank top and I saw she wasn't wearing a bra.

"H-Hey~! No fair~!" Saerom whined and takes off her bra leaving them half-naked and my dick started get hard.

Seductively approaching me, they each grabbed my arm and threw me onto the bed and they smothered my face with their massive tits and they giggled.

"He's so cute when flustered~," Saerom complimented before pressing my face into her tits.

"Yeah, but mines are bigger so I can make him more flustered, watch," She proved and smashed her mounds onto my face and I blushed harder making Saerom-Noona scoff.

"What is going on here?" Natty asked as she walked inside with Sejeong and was shocked.

"Ah, you horny girls, why didn't you invite me?" Sejeong complained.

"Well, you can always join us, let's see which one of us has the bigger boobs," Saerom proposed.

"Oh, you're on!" Natty and Sejeong accepted and joined us on the bed.

Sejeong takes off her shirt showing no bra while Natty takes off her hoodie and she wasn't wearing a bra either. Guess girls don't wear bras at home.

Of course, it didn't take long for Jihyo and Eunbi-Noona to join us as well and my God they have some of the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life.

"Okay, now that we're here... Baby, which pair of boobs do you like best~?" Jihyo-Noona asked before licking her lips.

"U-Uhhhh..." I muttered.

"Come on baby, which one of us?" Jisun whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine.

"I-I cannot choose!" I answered and they sighed.

Suddenly, the door busts open revealing CL and the girls gasped as the eldest walked inside only wearing a white bathrobe. She looks down at each and one of us.

"Girls~. Girls~. Let us remember that each and one of us has a special place in our puppy's heart so it doesn't matter how big our boobs and asses may be. Our puppy will still be loyal to us, isn't that right~?" She asked and I frantically nodded.

"Y-Yes, mummy," I answered and she giggled.

"Good, now let us all enjoy him, tonight~," She said before sexily smirking and the girls agreed.

Saerom goes to take off shirt while Jihyo takes off my pants and underwear revealing my monster 9-inch cock and they licked their lips like a predator eyeing their prey.

"What a big-sized cock you have, puppy, and it's all for us," CL-Noona complimented and began jerking it off making me moan.

"T-Thank you, mummy," I muttered and she giggled.

Starting with Jihyo, she presses her mounds between my cock and bounces up and down making me moan. Her titties felt soft and smooth adding to the pleasure.

"I-It feels so good, Noona~!" I moaned and she hummed.

Each girl had a turn for about ten minutes until they switched out and I had to hand it over to CL-Noona giving me the best boob job and she wasn't too subtle about not being a virgin.

"All of the men, crave for our bodies baby~. You are really lucky to fuck all of us~," CL-Noona said and I nodded.

"Y-Yes, Mommy ~," I moaned out and she smiled.

After they were finished giving me boob jobs they each gave me a sloppy blow job, the feeling of their warm mouths on my cock and balls felt amazing and I could barely hold myself from cumming but I did my best to please my mummies.

"Such a tasty cock, better than my ex," Jisun complimented.

"I know, right?" Natty replied.

"N-Noonas! I-I'm going to cum!" I warned as I couldn't hold it anymore.

Gathering around my cock, I let out my massive load onto their faces letting out satisfying hums as they taste my cum.

"Cum also tastes amazing, we should do this everynight~," Eunbi suggested and they agreed.

"Now, let's get onto the main event, remember, will all get one round of his cum," CL-Noona instructed.

Going first was Natty and she didn't waste any time slamming her pussy onto my cock letting out a loud moan.

"Aww~. Is our baby a virgin~?" She asked and I slowly nodded.

"Y-Yes..." I shyly answered and she smiled.

"Even better," She replied.

"Good, because from now on, our pussies are the only pussy you're ever going to get~," CL-Noona said.

With Natty riding for me the next half hour, we came together and I filled her womb with my cum.

Next up was Jisun, she inserts my dick into her womanhood as Saerom sat on my face forcing me to lick her pussy.

"Oh fuck~! Good boy~!" Saerom yelped as I insert my tongue inside.

"So big~!" Jisun moaned in ecstasy as she slowly began riding me.

Despite not being experienced, I did my absolute best to please them and so far I'm doing good based on how loudly their moaning.

As soon as I let out my load inside Jisun, Saerom takes her position as Jihyo got on my face with her soaking wet pussy and it tasted like watermelon and I'm a huge fan of fruits.

"Ohhhh~! Puppy, I could ride this dick all day if I wanted to~," She screamed as she inserted my cock inside her womanhood.

"Mmm~. Your tongue feels so good puppy~," Jihyo moaned as I insert my tongue.

"You're doing such a good job so far, puppy~," CL-Noona complimented before giggling.

"Puppy, I'm going cum~! You better drink all of it!" Jihyo warned before squirting in my mouth and I drank all of it.

"I'm going to cum too, baby, I want your sticky cum inside my womb~," Saerom pleaded and we came at the same time.

Jihyo took Saerom's place as soon as she made my dick hard again and I was starting to feel sore and tired as I've came several times.

"Tired already baby~? We haven't gotten to the best part yet~," Jihyo said as she jerked my dick back to life and I gulped.

To my surprise, she gets on all fours shaking her ass signalling me to pound her as hard as I could and I got on my knees before shoving my cock inside her pussy making her loudly moan.

"Oh, you naughty boy, you want me that much~?" She teasingly asked.

"Y-Yes, mummy~!" I answered as I began fucking her.

Going in and out, pounding her as fast and hard as I possibly could, Jihyo could loudly moan as her mind was consumed by pleasure. CL-Noona hugs me from behind pressing her boobs on my back along with Eunbi and Jisun.

"Are you close baby~?" Eunbi asked.

"N-Not yet mommy~!" I replied as I kept fucking Jihyo and she smirked.

"Well, do you want to pound my pussy~? I'm just soaking wet from watching and I want your long and thick cock inside of me~," She whispered in my ear.

Picking up the pace, Jihyo began screaming and came a few times before I painted her womb with my cum and she collapsed on the bed all exhausted and I was panting.

"Good boy~. Now it's my turn now and you better fuck just as well as you fucked Jihyo," Eunbi said and I nodded.

"Hey what about me~?" Sejeong whined and she playfully rolled my eyes.

"Think you can take us both~?" Eunbi asked.

"Anything for you," I replied and she smiled.

With both getting on their knees and elbows, I insert my dick into Eunbi's pussy and insert my finger in Sejeong and switched places, fucking them both at the same time.

"Oh God baby~! So Good~!" Sejeong moaned.

"Mmm~. Keep it up and we may cum soon~!" Eunbi said as I pounded her.

Finishing off into Eunbi's pussy, I put my full attention to Sejeong, I places my hands on her tits and play with them while I pounded her.

"Yes baby, our tits are yours only~," Sejeong moaned.

"Why have any man when you have this obedient puppy's dick?" Jisun mentioned.

About ten minutes later, I unloaded my cum inside of her as she squirted all over my dick and CL-Noona pulls my head forcing me to kiss her.

With her having more experience, she easily dominated me and sucked my tongue and we let go when we ran out of breath.

"Now time to see if you can make me cum~," She said and pushed me onto the bed.

Inserting my dick into her pussy, I was astounded at how fucking tight she was compared to the rest. It felt Godly and I can see why so many guys competed for her but all of them never succeeded in getting close to her.

"Oh my fucking God, puppy, your dick is so good~!" She moaned as she roughly rides me and I moaned.

"Your pussy is so heavenly, mummy~," I replied and she smirked.

Speeding up, she began riding me like an angry bull and I held back all temptations to cum letting her enjoy herself.

"I'm so close to cumming baby~! Let's cum together~!" She screamed and I nodded.

At the same time, we came simultaneously and she collapsed onto my chest before pecking my cheek.

"You did amazing, baby~. I never expected you to be able to handle all of us," She complimented.

"Yeah, you did us so well~," Jihyo said before giving me a long smooch.

"You may consider us your actual girlfriends, baby, but at home, we are your mummies~," Eunbi whispered and I gulped.

The rest of the girls hurdled together and I was smothered in an ocean full of titties and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I've been thinking about this for a while. May I request Kerian battling a "snow on Mt. Silver" Reader? Reader was the strongest trainer at Blueberry academy and champion of the BB league until they willingly handed off the title to Drayton and climbed to the highest point in the polar biome to wait for a strong challenger. Kerian, upon becoming champion, gets wind of them and decides to battle them. Things go bad quickly as reader is a ghost/corpse. Kerian does get rescued but is traumatized.

Oh this is a GOOD concept,,,give him that near-death trauma waaaaay before he even learns about terapagos

Also ik the weather conditions in the terarium are all simulated, but let's just say it malfunctioned and resulted in an actual blizzard at the very peak of the polar biome that killed reader + their Pokémon off (yet no one knows this)

......

"Have you heard from [y/n] lately, Drayton?"

"Nope. Last time I checked, they're still chilling at the Polar Biome peak, waiting for a "worthy challenger"."

"Was that pun intended?"

"...maybe, haha. But y'know, I kinda miss seeing their face around campus. I mean..they were our club's first champion, and to this day I still don't know why they handed the title over to me and bailed on-"

"Hold on, there was a champion before you and...you didn't even fight them for the title? No wonder I was able to beat you so easily."

"Oh great, just the person I hoped to see." With a dry chuckle, Drayton turned his head only slightly upon seeing Kieran approaching the clubroom's table with a deep scowl, eyes bleak.

Of course, the new champion of BB Academy believed he had every right to barge into the Elite Four's conversations--given he was having a bit of a "power trip" ever since gaining the title yesterday.

But the dragon trainer elected to ignore him, instead turning back to the others. "Anyways..I'm sure [y/n]'s already moved onto better things. No way could they still be up there after all that weird stuff happened with the weather."

"You mean..the time there was an actual blizzard in the terarium??" Lacey gasped, before shaking her head and making an "x" pose. "Bzzzt. Nope. Impossible. They sent a search and rescue team in case anyone in the outdoor classroom got stranded up there. And they didn't find a soul!"

"Yeah!" Crispin nodded in agreement. "I get they were the strongest trainer in this entire school, but why would they risk-?"

"I'm sorry, they're the strongest? Why am I only hearing about this [y/n] now?"

With a small yelp, he turned to the purple-haired boy. "Wah!! I-I totally forgot you were here, sorry.." He mumbled, slightly cowering under his harsh gaze. "Obviously you're the strongest! [Y/n]'s not important..d-don't worry about them. They're history-"

"But you all seem pretty convinced they're still here." Kieran's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the group. "And you just told me where I might find them." He clenched his fists, already shaking with anticipation.

"Easy there, champ.." Drayton huffed in annoyance. "It's only a rumor that they're still hanging around. They weren't much of a talker, so we have no clue where they are. Could be in another region for all we know."

"..........."

"Don't tell me....you're thinking about charging up that mountain all by yourself to see if they're there, are you? That's suicide."

"I have to agree with Drayton." Amarys nodded. "The staff is still trying to determine the cause of the anomalous weather patterns. We aren't banned from venturing up there, but until they can find a solution, it's ill-advised."

"Exactly!" Lacey joined in. "I heard one of the rescue team members had to get treated for frostbite. And it wasn't from some ice-type Pokémon, but the blizzard itself. This is serious, Kieran!"

"....I'll be fine. Your scare tactics won't work on me."

"Huh?! But we're not-"

"Enough. I'm gonna go find them myself, seeing as you're all too cowardly to do so." The champion sneered. "If a worthy challenger is what they're after, then I'll give them one. I'll let them know there's a new champion in town..and that he's the strongest trainer in this academy. Not them."

With that, he turned on his heel and left the room, mumbling under his breath things that made the four feel uneasy.

"How pathetic. The Elite Four..scared of a little snow and ice? Whatever. I'll show them. I'll show [y/n]. I'll show them ALL..."

After the doors slammed shut behind him, they felt the tension still lingering in the air--as did every other club member who was hanging out on the sofas and by the BP computer.

"Man." Drayton broke the silence, sitting up to stretch his arms. "That kid catches wind of some random stranger who's just a little stronger than him, and boom. He's obsessed. Hope he doesn't get himself killed up there."

"Should one of us go after him?" Lacey muttered in concern, her gaze not leaving the doors.

"I-I think that would make him angrier.." Crispin shook his head. "He's got an Incineroar, so maybe it'll keep him toasty."

"That is true. He could also either confirm or deny [y/n]'s presence atop that mountain." Amarys spoke up. "I only hope he properly prepares himself for the long journey..and that no other weather anomalies arise.."

..........

"They weren't kidding..i-it's freezing...but we're doing this, Incineroar."

"Cinn.." Huffing, the Heel Pokémon remained beside its trainer as the two made their ascension towards the summit. They couldn't see any rest spots nor healing centers below them due to the snowfall being so heavy.

Even the teraglobe was barely visible.

Yet Kieran was persistent as ever in his goal, keeping his jacket zipped up and Incineroar close to him. He didn't care about the fact his hands were already growing numb, nor the cold biting at his legs leaving them weak.

He was the new champion. He had to let everyone in this school know and defeat whoever could threaten the position he worked so hard to achieve.

If not [Florian/Juliana]..then it was you.

You're someone he's never even met, but knowing you were the very first BB League champion and had a big-enough ego to come up here and wait for a strong challenger...was something he couldn't turn a blind eye to.

No.

Not if he wanted to be the best in this entire school and eliminate any competition.

Absolutely nothing was gonna stop him.

Not even the fact that his Incineroar's flames were struggling to stay alive, gradually exhausting the feline as it struggled to keep up. It began having chills itself, although it knew better than to disobey its trainer when he demanded to keep the fire going.

Surely it can tough it out for him, right?

After what seemed like an eternity, Kieran finally reached the top of the mountain and saw you: the lone figure waiting for them both. Much of the snowfall had already cleared up allowing him to see you in a cap that concealed your eyes and a BB Academy uniform.

You were looking at something up in the sky, until you heard the sounds of shuffling and turned around, looking down with surprise at the challenger.

This kid...came up all this way to see you? Impressive.

His Incineroar looked a little worse for wear, the flames around its belt dying out, yet it stuck close to its trainer's side as he stared at you with a cold hard gaze.

"Are you [y/n], former BB League Champion?" He questioned.

"........."

"Not much of a talker, huh? Guess they were right. I'm Kieran, or better yet..Champion Kieran."

Although you barely gave a response aside from a slight tilt of your head, he just smirked. "Yeah, you heard me. I'm the new champion and president of the League Club, not that dumb dragon tamer. Because unlike him, I worked hard to earn this title. I don't wait around for things to be handed to me on a silver platter."

".........."

"You think being champion is a joke? Something you can just pawn off to somebody when you get bored of it?"

"........."

"I thought so. That means you never deserved the title to begin with.." He scoffed, irritated by your silence. "Anyway, they said you were the strongest, but I'm here to change that!" Pointing up at you, he shouted over the wind. "You wanted a worthy opponent..well HERE I AM!!! Incineroar, Porygon-Z...show them the power of a true BB League Champion!!"

He took out his Virutal Pokémon's pokeball, ready to send it into battle.

But it didn't come out after he tossed it to the ground.

"...huh?" Confused, Kieran picked up the pokeball, wondering why it wasn't opening. Then he noticed frost coating the button, practically icing it over entirely. "No, no, no.....what is this?!"

For some reason it was jammed, and he discovered that all the other pokeballs in his bag were like that, too, rendering them inaccessible.

But how?

It shouldn't be possible for all of them to freeze simultaneously...their insulation should be top-tier.

Brushing off his worries, he glared at you. "Whatever. I can win a single-battle, too! I've developed strategies for this. Incineroar, it's all up to you now"

Nodding, the Heel Pokémon cracked its knuckles and stepped forward. But as it looked at you, it began shivering all of the sudden, feeling a drastic drop in temperature as the flames on its belt struggled still.

It wasn't just the weather giving it chills..but you.

Something about you just seemed...off, but it couldn't exactly tell its trainer what that was. Nor would he probably care.

Whether it liked it or not, it had to win this battle.

Wordlessly, you stepped down so you could fight on equal ground and took out a single pokeball. It was covered in frost, with much of the red paint faded, and it looked awfully damaged--especially the button.

Yet somehow it was functional as you sent out your first Pokémon.

And the sight of it was so grisly, Kieran felt genuinely nauseated, unable to do anything except stare in shock.

"Wh...What the..."

It appeared as a sickly frostbit creature, with its colors dull and empty sockets in place of its eyes. Not to mention the heavy wounds littering its body, which seemed fresh. It's like you ran out of healing items and never bothered to look for any more.

And its cry was pained.

Considering how much Kieran himself loved and treasured Pokémon, he was gravely concerned and had second thoughts about fighting one in such a horrible state...

But that little voice in his head told him that refusing to fight your team would make him look weak. You'd probably think he was weak for backing down.

And he refused to do that.

Why was he suddenly so afraid? You were only trying to scare him, just like everybody else...and he was fed up with that.

He came this far. He had to finish this.

"You...think your Pokémon can battle in that condition? Looks like they can barely stand." His eyebrows furrowed. "No matter. Once I beat you, I'll take them off your ha-"

"Struggle."

A hoarse whisper escaped your lips, stunning him as he realized you could actually speak. But then your Pokémon suddenly threw itself at Incineroar, attacking and taking a good deal of recoil damage as it fainted soon afterwards.

Or rather...

It simply dropped to the ground and ceased all motions, with you making no move to recall them. Instead you just sent out your next party member.

Kieran tried not to think about why they did that, and just scoffed at your strategy. "Really? This is what the "strongest" trainer is capable of? I expected better..I'll beat you in no time at all."

Yet you didn't seem fazed by anything he said, as you commanded your Pokémon to use Struggle, too.....and every other one after that did the same thing.

What frustrated him the most was how they all managed to outspeed Incineroar, forcing it to endure every hit without getting a chance to retaliate. It felt so unfair, and he couldn't do anything except sit and watch, feeling his blood boiling more with each passing second.

He didn't know why you exhausted all of your team's moves, why you wouldn't give him a chance to strike back....or why you're even up here at all and allowed them to get this bad.

But he knew one thing.

He wanted to get off this mountain soon.

The snowfall was growing heavier again, the howling wind picking up as the temperature kept dropping.

"Stop! Just stop for a second!!" He snapped as you readied your final pokeball. All you did was pause and stare at him. "You haven't given me a chance to attack yet! And I'm locked out my pokeballs...this isn't fair! You're cheating!!"

"..it's almost over."

He tensed, wondering why you spoke those words so ominously. But he took that as an insult and scowled. "For me? No...it's almost over for you. You're down to your last Pokémon..and I still have all of mine. I'm putting an end to this pathetic "struggle strategy" of yours right now."

".........."

"What a joke this was. Everyone says you were the strongest trainer..but you're just another obstacle in my way."

Hearing that saddened you a little, almost making you regret what you're about to subject this hapless champion to next...but you will end this one way or another.

You couldn't tolerate his arrogance any longer.

Your final Pokémon's appearance completely wiped the smug look on Kieran's face, as his eyes widened upon seeing a Pikachu in the most horrific condition--one that didn't look anything like the others on your team.

Its fur was totally white with a layer of frost coating it; and it was missing a leg, ear, and part of its tail...as though something had torn and chewed at various sections of its body. And its wounds exposed its muscle and bones, yet somehow it was still able to stand on its own.

But the most terrifying thing was its lack of a cutesy smile typical to its species. Instead there was this creepy grin stretching from ear-to-nonexistent-ear. And it just stared at him with those pitch black eyes, giggling.

His hands shook with genuine fear, before he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Yet both of you were still there when he looked, ready for battle.

Suddenly he didn't feel so high and mighty right now. His heart pounded and his throat felt dry, eyes stinging from the cold.

He felt as though he wasn't supposed to be here.

He shouldn't be here.

He didn't want to do this anymore.

He wanted to go home.

It was so cold...

But he needed to finish this.

"I-Incineroar, use-"

"Pain Split."

'Wait...Pikachu can learn that?!' His eyes widened in shock, but at the same time he was relieved you finally did something new-

Only for your Pikachu to screech and attack his Pokémon with that move, biting into its arm and causing the latter to roar in agony. He could only watch, horrified as blood splattered all across the snow.

By the time he managed to recall Incineroar, it had already fainted from the attack.

However your Pikachu did, too, laying among the other bodies of your Pokémon...who he now realized were in fact deceased. He could barely see them since the snow covered most of them.

But the morbid images would never leave his head.

He still didn't understand.

What have you become?

What are you?

"It's over."

Looking up, Kieran screamed upon seeing your uniform now covered in blood, the frostbite having eaten away at most of your flesh. You looked like some zombie, with exposed bones and hollowed eyes much like your Pokémon--gazing at him with that same sadness they held.

Now it finally hit him.

All this time, he wasn't battling some BB League ex-champion. He was battling the victim of that weather malfunction the four were talking about.

The one who never made it down this mountain alive.

You were already dead...and wanted him to suffer the same fate as you.

He blinked, and you were suddenly in front of him, grabbing the front of his jacket with two hands and staring at him. And all he could do was stare back in terror, unable to look away.

"Destiny B-"

"NO!! NO!! STOP!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Screaming as loud as he could, he lost all composure as he tried pushing you off of him, hitting your jaw and dislocating the bone.

You dropped him to the ground, and he sobbed, wrapping his arms over his head as he begged you to leave him be.

"L-Let me go home, please pleasepleaseplease-"

"Kieran?!!!"

With a sharp gasp, he looked up to hear the voice of Lacey, before seeing her, Carmine, and the other Elite Four members rushing towards him. They were all bundled-up, with Crispin's Magmortar and Heat Rotom keeping them warm.

"It's [y/n]!!" He shouted, pointing to where you stood. "Th-They..they're right there!!"

The group stopped, appearing confused as they looked all around, seeing nothing but snow.

"Wh-Why are you all standing around?!"

"Kieran..there's no one here except us." Crispin muttered.

".....huh?" Blinking, he looked back and realized you have disappeared entirely, not leaving behind a single trace of your presence. There weren't any blood or footprints in the snow, nor any frozen bodies of Pokémon lying in it.

It's like he was battling a hallucination all along.

But it felt so real..

"But I....I-I..."

"Only you would be insane enough to risk your life coming up here," Carmine huffed, kneeling down. But as soon as she saw the true terror in her little brother's eyes, her heart sank..wondering what he witnessed. "Kiki..?"

"...i-it was them...[y/n]..." He mumbled shakily, his arm still stuck in a pointing position. Tears streaked down his face, the cold wind making his cheeks sting like hell. "Th-They were right here..and...and they...they tried to-"

"Listen, I get you really wanted to meet them and battle them...but they're not here. They're long gone. Now c'mon. We need to get you off this stupid mountain." Picking him up was no problem for Carmine, given how he was light as a feather. He just clung to her, allowing himself to be carried on her back.

The four were astonished that he actually made the journey up here, with Drayton wondering if he was really that desperate to battle you that he came up here, realized you weren't around, and just...made up a scenario in which he wins anyways.

Instead, the poor kid seemed traumatized by whatever he saw...or believed he saw.

After making it safely down the mountain and getting treated--alongside his Incineroar--Kieran's detailed account of what happened led to another rescue team heading up the summit, just in case they may have missed something.

They had fire types and ground type tirelessly shoveling through the snow, digging in the exact spot where he battled you, but there were no signs of you anywhere.

Even so..he refused to believe it, and still had reoccurring nightmares of that encounter and how it might've ended if the others didn't show up in time.

Soon enough he got back on-track to training his Pokémon and becoming stronger everyday, but other trainers noticed how carefully he treaded throughout the Polar Biome..

And how he avoided going anywhere near the tallest mountain in that zone.

For he believed you were still up there, waiting for him.

[miss-musings]

"Omega Needs You Both": A Deeper Look at Crosshair's Plan 99 Monologue

So, I had an interesting exchange with someone on Twitter about the 3.15 "change of plans" scene and what exactly Crosshair meant -- specifically by the line "Omega needs you both."

I figured I'd share my thoughts here, and do a breakdown of the dialogue in this scene.

We start with Crosshair seeing Tantiss' defenses and his hand starts shaking uncontrollably. But, he clenches his fist and gives his brothers an update:

Crosshair: They've got heavy patrols guarding the perimeter, with lurca hounds. Wrecker: Told you we should've brought Batcher.

Wrecker, who was mauled by a jungle creature in the previous episode, has basically been running on a combination of adrenaline, determination and med patches for at least an hour. As Wrecker says this line, he chuckles and then groans with pain from his wounds.

Crosshair notices and gives him a look that Wrecker can intuit even under his helmet.

Wrecker: Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine. Crosshair: No, you're not.

Crosshair sees the situation they're in: Their five-man squad is down two people already.

Tech is dead. (RIP, bestest boy! 😭)

Echo is inside the base, but they can't coordinate with him. For all they know, he might've been captured or killed after deactivating the science vessel's sensors at the end of 3.13.

And now, on top of Crosshair's own hand tremors, Wrecker is severely injured.

Clone Force 99 is down two people already, two of the remaining three aren't at full strength, AND they’re going into Tantiss without any (known) back-up. 😬

Even if they manage to get past the patrolling stormtroopers and lurca hounds, they still don't have an easy way in. (Of course, the Zillo beast solves both of these problems about two minutes later.)

So, knowing full well what they're going up against and seeing the bad shape his squad is in, Crosshair offers a solution:

Crosshair: Change of plans. You two head to the communications array and try to contact Rex. I'll infiltrate the base myself. Hunter: Not happening. Wrecker: Yeah, we've handled worse situations than this countless--

Wrecker of all people knows that their squad isn't invincible. But, I think he's trying to infuse some optimism into the conversation and convince Crosshair not to do something rash.

Meanwhile, Crosshair basically tries to do the exact same thing to Wrecker, but in a much harsher way:

Crosshair: Wake up, Wrecker! Clone Force 99 died with Tech. We're not that squad anymore.

Crosshair says what they're all probably thinking:

Clone Force 99 charged into every battle in the Clone Wars with full confidence and zero hesitation. Maybe they weren't exactly stupid about it, but they were definitely reckless.

Crosshair is trying to tell Wrecker that they're not that invincible squad anymore. They lost their MVP in Tech. They cannot afford to go recklessly charging into battle like they used to, which he believes Wrecker is suggesting.

Crosshair: I've been inside that mountain. I know what we're up against. If we all go in, we're not all making it out.

Again, even if they manage to get inside, Crosshair knows exactly how well-defended Tantiss is. He's trying to convince his brothers to get to safety, because he knows the odds are stacked against them and he doesn't want to lose them.

He wants to keep them safe. He wants to protect them. So, he uses the best logic he has to try to convince them: 🥺

Crosshair: Omega needs you both.

I know a lot of people look at this line and interpret it as: "Crosshair thinks Omega doesn't need him (like she needs Hunter and Wrecker)."

There's definitely an argument to be made for that.

Crosshair has major self-esteem issues throughout Season 3, and he definitely feels like he failed Omega after missing the shot to track her ship in 3.11.

I do think he believes that Hunter and Wrecker matter to her more.

I also think he doesn't know or fully accept exactly how much he means to her.

But, he must have some sense that his well-being is important to her — that she cares about him.

She refused point-blank to leave Tantiss without him. She spent five months telling him, convincing him, that they were going to escape together. For all his efforts to push her away, she never gave up on him. And when the opportunity finally came, she kept her word and freed him.

Between 3.05-3.11, Omega spends a lot of time with Crosshair.

She helps him reintegrate back into their family and reconcile with Hunter. She doesn't like when he suggests taking on CX-2 by himself. She tries to help him heal his hand and his mind. When she tries to convince them people can change, she reminds Crosshair that she never gave up on him.

She also told him multiple times in Seasons 1 and 3 that he was her brother. Omega always saw him as part of her family, and she wanted him in her life.

(EDIT: It’s also totally possible that Crosshair realizes Omega cares about him while ALSO believing she doesn’t need him. “She cares about me” =\= “she needs me,” especially compared to how much she needs Hunter and Wrecker. He is still weighed down by guilt and insecurity, after all, and feels like he failed her in 3.11.)

Again, I do think Crosshair underestimates and/or doesn't fully accept how much he means to her (or how much she needs him).

But, I think he’s ultimately trying to tell his brothers: "You two can't die, because Omega needs you."

Crosshair knows how much they care about her. He probably thinks they'll agree to anything -- no matter how stupid -- if helps guarantee her safety.

Omega is the best reason he has to convince them they need to live.

In general, Tech went through a similar process in 2.16.

He first told his family to "sever the connection hinge now," and Wrecker refused. He called for Plan 99 and Wrecker still tried to talk him out of it. So, he shot the connection hinge himself, because he knew they'd never let him go even if it meant they’d all die too.

(RIP. He really was the bestest boy and the squad's MVP.)

Crosshair is doing the same thing: he's trying to convince his brothers to let him sacrifice himself to ensure their safety. 😭

Now, Tech's situation was different. It really was "either he dies or they all die." There was no way around it.

But that's not a guarantee here in 3.15, although Crosshair thinks it is. (And as we see later, he's basically right. The CX operatives could've and would've killed them, but Hemlock apparently wanted them alive.)

Anyway, let's close out Crosshair's monologue:

Crosshair: So, I'm doing this alone. It's-- It's what I deserve.

Pairing this with his previous statement that Omega needs Hunter and Wrecker, it can definitely sound like "I don't matter to Omega (like you do), so I need to sacrifice myself." Again, there's an argument to be made for that.

(EDIT: I really think DBB’s delivery of “Omega needs you both. So, I’m doing this alone. It’s what I deserve” is a BIG part of why people interpret it the way they do. And they’re arguably not wrong to do so. It does feel in-character for Crosshair.)

But, I'm guessing he means that sacrificing himself will finally atone for everything he's done -- hunting down and nearly killing his family, killing all sorts of people for the Empire, failing his loved ones, etc.

He's telling them: "I've made so many mistakes. Let me make up for it now by keeping you safe."

Thankfully, Hunter and Wrecker talk him out of it.

Hunter: Don't even think about Plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us, and so do those clones. Wrecker: We've always known the risks, and so did Tech. We do this together.

Hunter affirms that Omega needs all three of them. He's using the same logic that Crosshair tried: "Don't throw your life away, because Omega needs you too."

And Wrecker tells Crosshair more clearly that he knows their squad isn't invincible anymore. But, if they're going to do anything, they're going to do it together.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Crosshair planned to keep arguing with them, but then they got distracted by the Zillo beast. 😅

In summary

If I had to rewrite Crosshair's monologue so it would more clearly convey what I think he's trying to say, it would go something like this:

Crosshair: Wrecker, we're not wild Clone Wars frat boys anymore. If we go rushing into Tantiss like we used to, we're all gonna die. You two need to live for Omega's sake. So, stay here and stay safe, and let me sacrifice myself. I nearly killed you all, and did a whole bunch of other bullshit, so I need to make up it.

As I said, I think a lot of these points are open to debate and discussion. But, I wanted to offer alternative interpretations for some of these iconic lines, because I feel like everyone keeps landing on the same (wrong) ones.

Feel free to comment/reblog with your thoughts!

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Playlist Love | Jung Hoseok | Birds of a Feather | Billie Eilish

Play it again...and again and again and again

Summary: Hoseok is finally back for good and a little morning walk together changes both of your lives for the better. Loosely based off of Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish. Pairing: f!reader x Hoseok | Established relationship Word Count: 2.3k short and sweet for this one~ Warnings: Suuuuper fluffy and no smut because it just didn't fit the vibe this time lol but yeah a/n: this was supposed to be out earlier but I hope you guys like it ❤️

"How does it feel?" I ask, walking hand in hand with Hoseok as if things had never changed but a lot of time had passed since we were able to do something as simple as this without the thoughts of him leaving again. 

"Hm?" he hums, seemingly lost in thought. "You know, to be back?" I clarify, referring to the time we spent apart while he was doing his service. He offers me a soft smile before bringing our interlocked hands up and kissing the back of mine. 

"So good" he says, the fondness in his tone when he addresses me although a little deeper now is no less warm than before. "I really missed you, you know" I say and grab onto his arm, the feeling of being close to him again being something I will never take for granted. 

"I missed you too angel" he responds but notices the slight chill that's run through my body when the crips morning breeze blows towards us leaving him pulling us towards a nearby building for shelter. 

"You should've bundled up more baby" he says shrugging his jacket off and draping it over my shoulders, his warmth enveloping me instantly but I hurriedly protest and try to give it back but he places his hands on my shoulders to keep it in place.

"We're almost home so I'll be okay" he says and cups my cheek, frowning once he's realized just how cold I've gotten. "No more early morning walks" he says, the scolding tone still soft and loving leaving me giggling at his efforts. 

"Twice a week?" I barter but he shakes his head. "Once?" I offer, holding up my pointer finger and he looks from it back to my hopeful expression and nods. "But you need to wear warmer clothes, got it?" he agrees, offering up a condition still but I agree nonetheless. 

"Got it!" I say and solute him playfully to which he rolls his eyes. "Promise?" he says, holding up his pinky and I wrap mine around his and press our thumbs together to seal it. "Promise!" I smile and pull him back out onto the path again. 

"Slow down" he chuckles, dragging his feet purposefully as I try to pull him along the way, with me laughing right along with him. "Didn't you say you wanted to show me something?" I ask, reminding him of the surprise he had mentioned earlier and he shakes his head and pulls me back, ceasing my efforts of hurrying him along. 

"Yes I do want to show you something but it'll still be there no matter what time we get there" he chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to keep me from trying to drag him along again. 

"Fine" I grumble, getting impatient since he's given me zero clues besides the fact that it's along the path that we've walked together time and time again. "Don't be like that" he says, placing a kiss on my temple and pulling me in closer, making our steps more awkward and precarious but neither of us seems to mind. 

"Can you at least give me one more hint?" I plead and he hums in thought before giving me the vaguest couldn't even be considered a clue ever. "All you need to know is you're gonna love it, or at least I hope you will" he says the last part a little quieter, a slight blush blooming on the apples of his cheeks. 

"You're no fun" I huff and turn away, looking out over the river instead of at him and once he notices he walks us over to the railing, watching a pair of colorful yellow birds seemingly dancing in mid air and I can't help but smile fondly. 

"That one is you and that one's me" I point them out, purposefully pointing out the clumsier one for myself and he hums and hold onto me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder and pulling me in. 

"Reminds me of the first time I tried to teach you how to dance" he say, fondly calling back the memory but I can't help but hide my face in my hands, embarrassed in contrast. "Yeah the first and last" I huff and he hums and places a kiss on my cheek, "It won't be the last" he says with a certainty that I don't understand just yet. 

"What makes you so certain I'll let you?" I ask, leaning to one side so I can turn my head to look back at him. "Call it a feeling" he says cryptically but I decide not to question it. "Whatever you say weirdo" I scoff and he squeezes me in response leaving us standing there for just a little longer, still admiring the aviary duo dancing across the painted morning sky until he directs me down the path to resume our journey. 

"Are we there yet?" I ask for probably the fifth time but he doesn't seem to mind. "Almost" he says offering no clues and when I'm about to ask again after a few more minutes go by I see a bouquet of flowers sitting on the park bench we first met on. 

I look up at him excitedly and when he nods his head I scurry out of his hold to run up and grab them.

"They're so beautiful!" I say after examining them for a moment or two, he's got a good eye for these things so I don't think I would ever be disappointed in them. To be honest though he could give me a bouquet of droopy dandelions and I would still love them all the same. 

"Thank you!" I beam garnering a soft smile from him before he takes a step towards me and reaches into the pocket of his jacket that I'm still wearing. "Don't thank me just yet" he smiles and I can tell from just that he's up to something. "What do you mean?" I smile but my mind goes blank when I watch as he gets down on one knee.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, not believing that this is actually happening but when he reaches for my hand and brings me back I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, making my vision blurry to the point where I can just barely make out his nervous expression. 

"Do you remember the day we first met?" he asks and all I can do is nod, holding words back to keep me from crying just yet. 

"Your thoughts were so clouded by frustration that when you came and sat on this bench you didn't even realize that I had already been sat on it right next to you. You got startled when after your third angry huff I asked you what was wrong. You practically jumped out of your skin. Then again I guess that's more or less a normal reaction to unexpectedly hearing a previously silent stranger so close to you" he says, starting to ramble now and I can't help but let out a choked back chuckle at the memory. 

When he realizes that he had been getting off track he clears his throat, nervous voice still ever present but I don't mind, this is perfect, he couldn't have made this moment any more perfect.

"Anyways, when I asked you, you finally told me that you were upset because you thought you messed up your interview but from the way I could see it I knew that you gave it your best shot. I told you they would be a fool not to hire you but you were skeptical since we had only just met. You asked me how I could possibly know you would be a good fit but as always I just had a feeling you were the perfect person from the way you spoke about it". 

I bite back a smile and let a tear or two fall so I can clear up my view since I don't want to miss anything. A girl only gets proposed so many times in her life, I just hope this is the first and last time this'll ever happen to me.

"This next part might sound cheesy but I promise you it's true. I had a feeling similar to how I felt about you getting that job as to how I felt about knowing that you were the woman that I wanted to marry some day" and at that I let out another teary chuckle. He's always been a hopeless romantic and I can't help but love that about him, amongst many other reasons. 

"Once we parted ways that day after an hour or so of talking I promised myself that if I were to ever see you again that I wouldn't hesitate to pursue you. I knew that if I tried right away that I could lose you so instead I went back everyday to that same park bench and on the fifth day when I had started to lose hope of seeing you again I saw you out of the corner of my eye practically skipping in delight and I knew that that was it" he continues and I smile at the memory. 

"I got the job that day" I say, my voice incredibly soft and wobbly but he smiles and nods his head. "You did get the job that day. You called it your victory lap which couldn't have been any more endearing to me even though I can tell you're embarrassed by it now" he teases when he sees me look away but I don't mind the teasing this time.

Hearing about this...about how he started to fall in love with me at first sight was something I never knew but it just makes me feel like I couldn't love him more than I already do even if I tried.

"So I asked you out. I used a congratulatory coffee as a cover up but in my mind it was our first date" He says shyly, the tips of his ears turning pink. "And the rest is history I guess. What I mean to say though is through out all of this time knowing you I've known that someday I'd be calling you my wife...depending on your answer of course" he says, a little less confident about it. 

"You've gotta ask me first" I laugh, a couple more joyful tears falling as a result making him smile and after taking another deep breath or two he finally says the words that'll be the start to our forever. 

"Will you marry me?" he says letting go of my hand for a second and opening the ring box and when the sight of my grandmother's ring is revealed I couldn't be happier knowing that even with all this time he spent away from me he still managed to get my family's blessing. 

"Yes, yes of course I'll marry you" I say, leaning down and kissing him, the tears streaming down my face making it taste a little salty but neither of us seems to mind. Nothing matters in this moment but him and I.

"Wait" I say after breaking the kiss, forgetting what I had planned to tell him today...what I've been needing to tell him.

"I, well..." I say and pull out the image I had been been keeping in my purse, waiting for the right moment to tell him. I look at it one last time and take a deep breath before wordlessly handing it to him and when he realizes what it is his face lights up as bright as I've ever seen in. 

"Are you serious?" he says under his breath, his body practically shaking in excitement and I nod my head. "You're sure?" he asks again, the concept so unbelievable to him leaving me laughing. "Yes Hoseok, yes" I confirm and although I can tell that he's excited I need him to say something. 

"You're pregnant?" he questions and I place his hand on my stomach to hopefully prove a point.

He practically knocks me off my feet making me squeal in excitement, wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around. 

"Thank you thank you thank you" he says over and over again leaving me laughing at his adorable reaction. "Thank you for what?" I chuckle and he puts me down so he can get a good look at me. "For not only agreeing to marry me, but also being the mother of our child" he says, the serious tone he takes on makes me incredibly nervous. 

"You helped you know" I tease and he smirks, smug at the thought of it. "So this all happened when..." he says but I quickly put my hands over his mouth to stop any explicit details from coming out of it. 

"Yes it happened the last time you were on leave. Now do you understand why I've been hiding from you?" I say in reference to the times where I've decided to do things like shower and get dressed on my own. "The time you asked me to leave the room so you could change confused me so bad" he says and I laugh, remembering the dumbfounded look on his face. 

"You were definetly flabbergasted" I confirm and he rolls his eyes. "Imagine leaving my girlfriend for eighteen months and then being denied the right to watch her change" he scoffs, "The privilege, not the right" I correct him and he sighs, accepting defeat but still not happy with it. 

"The point is, I can't wait for our family of two to be a family of three" he chuckles, placing his hand on my belly and I know that's something he'll definetly be obsessed with, especially once I'm further along. 

"I love you angel" he says, kissing my forehead and resting his against mine. "I love you too, more than you know"     

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[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[i984]

Mattress Laid, No Questions Asked

|Pairing|: Wednesday Addams x gender neutral reader

|Warnings|: Ooc! Wednesday Addams, Hurt/Comfort, Wednesday also has shower thoughts, Wednesday panics romantically throughout the fic, two idiots so deeply into each other they just can't tell, there's only one bed trope but not really.

|Summary|: Wednesday needs a little caring after the final battle with Joseph Crackstone.

|A/n|: My hunched back says the 12 hours is not worth the end product.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Sit down."

"I don't want to."

You look over her messy braids and the monochrome school uniform, now stained red. Her fingers are slightly jittering, though you're not sure if the Addams girl realizes it. The night has finally taken a toll on her.

"Please?" You give her your best assuring smile, sitting on the stool next to your bed, patting the comfy duvet.

Wednesday clenches her jaw.

She took a step forward.

You nod at her before reaching under your bedside table. It's a good thing Enid urged you to keep a medicine kit in the room. You make a mental note to thank the werewolf next time.

Standing up from your seat, you walk to the dorm's bathroom to get some warm water. "I'll be back in a minute," you half-shouted, hoping the girl hasn't already left your room.

Wednesday is already rigidly seated when you come back. Walking across the room, you carefully put the water-filled bucket beside your stool, clean cloth in your other hand. You inspect her face. It seems that the blood has stopped dripping. The dried-up red would need a little cleaning, though.

"I'm gonna tend the wound on your face first. Is that okay?"

"I can do it myself."

"I know," you swiftly put on your gloves, grabbing a gauze pad and dipping it in saline solution, "but let me do this for you."

"The wound has closed," Wednesday notices the slight raise of your eyebrow. "Don't ask me how."

"Fine. I won't," you put back the gauze pad and the bottle of saline solution on a tray. Grabbing the abandoned cloth, you dip it into the bucket beside you, wringing the excess water. "But at least let me clean it."

Wednesday gives you a dissatisfied look. Her hand reluctantly comes up to lift her bangs off her face. You offer her a small smile as a thank you.

Standing in front of the ravenette, you bend slightly, hands gently dabbing the skin with care. There wasn't a wound, just like what Wednesday said. Only crusts of blood indicate where the injury was previously nestled.

You breathe shallowly, as little as possible. With Wednesday's face so close to yours, her stare that flickers to your lips doesn't go unnoticed. You train your gaze to her cheeks, forehead, and chin, anywhere but her sunken eyes. The dirty spot on her skin has transferred to the almost-dry cloth, and you pull away carefully.

The clean water now has the slightest tinge of crimson as you dip the towel into the bucket once again. Wednesday furrows her brow as you give her a once-over. Suddenly, she becomes hyper-aware of the uniform that sticks obnoxiously to her skin and the tie that chokes her neck snugly.

"I got it," your hands come up to loosen the fabric delicately, pulling the neckwear off the raven. "You should probably change. I'll help you."

Wednesday's face remains stoic, and when you see no sign of opposition, you remove the blazer off her shoulder, pulling the sleeves slowly to avoid injuring her. Inspecting the torn shirt covered in blood, you run your fingers along the fabric, touching the smooth stained skin.

Wednesday gulps in your wake, but when she feels your breath fanning what little bit of flesh she has exposed, her breathing hitched; an almost gasp escapes her lips.

You stop your movement.

"Shit— Did I hurt you?" you scan over Wednesday's face, expecting a wince of some sort. Instead, you found a frown that had deepened, and her eyes focused on the ground. She looks almost embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I'll grab you some clean clothes," you quickly get your hand off her shoulder and walk to your wardrobe. Wednesday's eyes feel heavy on your back, examining your move. You ignore the pounding on your chest and rummage the space until you find your old black t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Will these do?" You stride over to her, raising the clothes over your body.

"They would have to."

You hand her the garments before lifting the bucket, leading her towards the bathroom. "You can change inside. There are some clean towels if you wanna take a shower. There should still be warm water, so take your time."

Wednesday steps inside the bathroom, and her hand hovers above the doorknob. She's hesitating.

"I'll be here," you assure softly.

There's a slight nod, and the sight of her is soon replaced with the wooden door.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Warm water hits her back, and Wednesday feels the tension in her muscle loosen. Scarlet drips to the floor, and the water turns a few shades darker. The sight of blood wasn't unfamiliar, even if it was hers. But tonight, Wednesday scrubbed the dried liquid off her skin hurriedly, touching the spot where her gut had been stabbed, then magically healed. The ravenette lets her mind wanders over the events that have led her to this moment.

Enid had retired to bed before her; loud snores were evidence of her fatigue. Taking on a Hyde with her wolf form, especially when it's only her first time, must've exhausted the blonde.

Wednesday was exhausted herself. But she couldn't fall asleep.

Her bed creaked as she tossed and turned, huffing loudly as the image of Joseph Crackstone flashed through her brain. His wicked voice and disgusting breath, as well as his crooked descendant—the poor excuse of a teacher—boiled Wednesday's blood.

Then there was Tyler. The boy she had trusted and felt enough for. Yet he dared betray her trust, lied to her, turned against her, and attacked her best friend. Wednesday wonders if she can trust anybody close to her anymore.

At least the whole school was saved. And you.

Wednesday runs her fingers through her hair, smoothing the waves her braids had created. The water is colder now, and she lets it wash over her face and freeze her scalp. The sensation calms her, and she lets her hand trail to her shoulder. The wound wasn't there. It seemed that all her injuries from the night had disappeared.

Her hand stays there, eyes closing to remember your touch. Wednesday feels her heart slowly picking up pace, and it dawns on her with a realization. She's alive. You're alive. And she can't deny her heart swells disgustingly with gladness and relief.

Because you're alive, you caught her restless feet wandering through empty corridors. It was an activity the two of you shared. She had found you walking around the school grounds aimlessly on her way to the nightshade library. Wednesday would stalk you every night after that—only to find you repeatedly standing in the middle of the quad—before resuming her investigation.

She never thought you had realized her presence; until tonight.

Wednesday heard you call out her name softly, and she stepped aside from the pillar that hid her figure. Your eyes were tender as you walked over to her with an unreadable look before locking your arms around her and squeezing her body tightly.

Wednesday didn't pull back or bury her head in the crook of your neck. Instead, she stood there, frozen, almost scared of breaking the moment. She thanked the stars that there was nobody around. There was only silence, and it was comforting and engulfing.

When you stepped back and led her to your room, she followed.

Wednesday wonders why it was so easy for her to trust someone, to trust you, especially after such a night.

The answer stares back at her, a distorted image reflected on the clear water flooding your bathroom floor.

Her hand reaches the tap and turns the water off.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You had settled into your pajama. It's much more comfortable than the uniform, after all. Inspecting the mattress on the floor beside your bed, you hum in satisfaction. That should do for the night.

Sitting down, you stare at your bathroom door. The sound of running water had ceased minutes ago, yet Wednesday hadn't come out yet. She's making you worry, and it takes everything in you not to burst through the door and make sure she's okay.

That's until you hear her call your name.

You rush to the door, stopping in front of it before clearing your throat. "Everything good? Do you need anything?"

Wednesday doesn't answer.

Instead, you hear a thud, as if someone has just dropped their entire weight on the floor. Your hands come to turn and push the doorknob frantically, panic setting in as the wood refuses to move. "Wednesday, what happened—"

"Stop."

You halt your movement.

The ravenette must be sitting against the door. That's why you can't get it opened. You mentally cursed at yourself for not figuring that out sooner. You exhaled in relief before sitting against your side of the door.

"You good there?"

There's silence again, and you willed yourself to calm down. The faint smell of your soap tickles your nose, and you wonder if the scent is not to Wednesday's liking. Maybe that's why she called.

"Sorry for the strawberry soap," you let your head fall back, "Yoko gifted me that for my birthday last year, and I'm only using it now."

"That isn't a problem," Wednesday croaks.

"Then what is?"

Moments of quietness are exchanged. You feel your body tensing with each passing second, your heart hammering mercilessly against your ribs. There's no reason as to why your head seems to cloud at the absence of her words; it almost feels entirely stupid. But you stay silent, patiently waiting for her answer.

"Will you—" Wednesday's voice cracks, words faltering in a way you've never heard her before. "Will you stay for me?"

You can practically picture the impossible sight of her quivering lips and her furrowed brows, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She sounds afraid—as if she fears you telling her no.

"I'll stay with you, Wednesday," you rise to your feet urgently, hands coming to brush the wood. "For you, always."

The girl finally comes into your sight, the door opening fully. Wednesday chews her lower lips, eyes welling with tears. She rips her gaze from yours to the floor, nose sniffling as she chokes the sob threatening to escape her throat.

You pull her into a tight embrace, snaking your hands around her petite body; your breath is taken not from the squeeze but from the realization that Wednesday's arms are finally around yours, holding you so desperately, not giving you a chance to pull away.

You rub circles to her lower back, your other hand stroking her hair softly. You hope your body can take her stress and pain away; to make her feel safe and taken care of. You hope she understands how your throbbing heart is telling her you love her.

Wednesday's presence is all-encompassing, and you let her melt into you for as long as the moment allows it. When her dark brown eyes finally meet yours, there's an unspoken gratitude, a softness to her stare you wish to capture forever.

Her red, puffy eyelids seem to tug at your heartstrings, and you feel like saying something stupid only to clear the heavy air. "What do you think of my pajamas?"

Wednesday momentarily looks at you up and down, a grim look growing on her face.

"It's pink."

"Yes, your favorite color, right?"

"I'd die before letting myself transform into that state of mind."

You snort. "That didn't answer my question, genius."

"It's horrendous," Wednesday crosses her arms.

"You don't look so bad yourself," you grin at the sight of the Addams girl in your clothing before walking towards the mattress, the ravenette following you closely behind. "You can sleep on the bed. I want you to be as comfortable as possible."

Wednesday eyes you closely as you lay down, your hands fumbling with the blanket before settling in your position. She looks over to your bed. It does look comfy, though quite wide; she can't believe it's for one person. Suddenly the white bedding seems quite lonely.

"Do you feel like sleeping at all?"

Wednesday huffs as she grabs a pillow on your bed and steps to the edge of your mattress before carefully laying herself on the empty spot beside you. She can practically feel your teasing grin even with her back turned against you, her mind urging her to get up and walk out of your room to save herself from more embarrassment.

Instead, she feels the fabric of your duvet covering her, and Wednesday stills in place.

"Don't hog the blanket, okay? It'll get colder, and I'd prefer we both make it out tonight without freezing to death."

Wednesday turns to you before grabbing your hand and pulling it with her as she crosses her arm over her body—her signature corpse-like sleeping position.

"Now we both will freeze slower."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna get whiplash before it gets to that."

You turn your body to Wednesday, and you can see her face adopting a tranquil look; eyes closed with her hair splayed across the pillow like an angel. She smells like strawberries, and you can't fight the dopey smile tugging the edge of your lips.

It dawns on you that you had assumed she'd spend the night with you. And fortunately, she is doing just that.

Your heart clenches deliciously.

"Goodnight, Wens," you lace your fingers with hers, eyes closing as sleep overcomes you.

"May you have terrible dreams," Wednesday squeezes your hand, "because you forgot to turn off the lights."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A/n2: I love how I can just blame reader for all the plot holes I overlooked. To the anon that requested this weeks ago, I hope you enjoy!

Check pinned post for tag list.

[xetlynn]

Twilight- Unknowing: Chapter Four, Beast of the Inbetween

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[three] [four] [five]

Bella and I walk out of the house with Jacob behind us, him staying behind my sister.

"Whoever it was, he left his stink behind. It'll be hard to miss when we cross it again. We'll handle it from here." Jake boldly states.

"We don't need you to handle anything. Or anyone." Edward tells him, the werewolf steps toward him, attempting to get a reaction. Something he doesn't receive. "I could care less what you need." Jacob says.

"Alright we're done here." My sister's boyfriend announces. "No, you're done here." Jacob threatens him, Bella steps between them as I watch, amused of course.

"Stop, I'm tired of this. From now on, I'm Switzerland, okay?" She exclaims but it does nothing, the two get closer to one another.

"Stop!" Again, nothing. So this time I boredly tear them away from each other. Both stumbling.

"Listen to the girl you're both obsessed with, would you?" I give them dirty looks, confused with how stupid they're acting. "Thanks." She mutters.

"Mhm." I hum. "I don't expect you guys to chuck a football around together. Fine, but we have a lot of problems and this one is a temporary solution. Are you willing to at least try?" She explains herself and how they need to knock it off. Both of them stay quiet but then Edward nods, Jacob follows suit right after.

"Alright, so you need to coordinate. You know schedules and stuff." She tries to start off theconversation but they stay quiet. Bella looks over to me, defeated.

"What would the pack prefer, tantrum throwing toddler? Days or nights?" I place my hands on my hips. "Nights." Is all he answers with.

"Will days work for your family, angsty teen?" I turn to the guys who's supposedly going to be my future brother in law. He nods.

"See? How hard was that?" Bella asks them. She weakly smiles at me as I laugh to myself.

After getting away from that hot mess I finally got some relaxing time with my lovers, Alice and Jasper.

At our normal spot where we could be alone together in the woods. Both of them sat in front of me, Alice playing the grass as Jasper fidgeted with my hand.

"How come you two never told me that before you were vampires I was in love with you. Like deeply in love with both of you?" I question suddenly, it definitely being out of nowhere.

Both of them stayed silent at first so I went to apologize but Jasper's voice cut me off. "You had to figure it out on your own. Since you never mentioned it we didn't know how much you knew. What we could say and not say." He explained.

"We're sorry." Alice sincerely says but I shake my head. "Don't apologize." I take a deep breath in. "I just, I would like to hear your point of views on what I was like to you back then. I guess." I giggle softly, the three of us all adjust how we were sitting to be more comfortable.

"Since your first life was with me, I'll go first." Jasper grins, I watch as his dimples form and I smile back.

"Our families were close, when we got a little older they introduced us. Eventually we fell in love. You already know that though." He winks at me, I feel my face warm up but I nod for him to continue.

"You were my person, that's for sure. It was like we were conjoined at one point. You were devoted to the ones you loved. You were kind, you loved helping people, it just made me fall for you even more." I felt him stiff before he said his next sentence. "Then when I signed up for the war everything changed. You were angry, upset with me for doing it. You wanted me to be safe and at home with you and-" He pauses momentarily.

"And the baby you held in your stomach. Even though you were mad at me you wrote to me every day, until it stopped. The last letter I had gotten was that the baby was lively. Kicking a storm in your stomach. I wasn't even told if you were alive or not before I had turned." He closes his eyes, my hand grips his.

"I didn't know I was pregnant." I mumble, it was mainly me thinking out loud. But after it left my mouth Jasper looked right at me.

"You didn't know?" He repeats my question. "No, but it's okay. I feel like I remember it but it's far back in my memories." I explained, shrugging my shoulders. Alice took his hand into hers.

"Continue." I nudged him.

"Well after I turned I found out through Max, the wolf that imprinted on you. He somehow found me. Telling me that even though he imprinted on you nothing happened. You had no interest in him as he would've done anything for you. He explained that you were with soldiers that came through the village. Helping them with something out in the desert field." He tells the story and it brings me back to when I was bit by James.

When my memories flooded back and I was searching for Jasper. I had thought he was with the soldiers. Then havoc struck and some thieves or something came about. I was shot and that's all I remember. I didn't remember having a baby in my stomach though. But thinking about it now. It's all I seem to see in my head.

"I was shot in that desert." I cut him off. Alice and Jasper glanced up at me.

"That's the first memory I ever had from my past life the first time." I tell them.

"When I found out I snuck out from where Maria had us staying, being a newborn vampire it was difficult but I did it. I found the man that killed you. You don't understand the torture I put him through." Jasper painfully admits, I furrow my brows. I can tell he doesn't want me to know though.

"Let's talk about something else." He says.

"Well, since we were speaking about babies a little bit. I uh, I remember giving birth to a boy. You were all there, we seemed close but I wasn't in love with either one of you." I tell them, thinking back to how I was married and telling Rosalie and Alice the news in a bathroom or something.

"That was rough to sit and watch." Jasper looks down. Alice closes her eyes, nodding in agreement.

"You were engaged before we met you. You told us that we seemed familiar. Carlisle wasn't exactly happy for us staying in your life like we did. Neither was Rosalie particularly happy about it but when you got introduced to them it was as if you knew them too." Alice explains. I remember going to the market with just Rosalie, a memory sparking in my mind. How excited she was for me when I told her I was pregnant.

I remember telling the family they were aunts and uncles. How I thought of them as best friends, even family after knowing them for two-three years. They attended my wedding. The memories were little flashes. Like I was thinking about my childhood.

"Wasn't hard to watch me be in love with someone else?" I ask them. Jasper does a short nod, his face grimacing.

"You have no idea." He chuckles. "But you were happy and that's all that mattered to us." He kisses my hand, keeping it in his hold.

"It was more difficult after you gave birth. You passed from childbirth. We wanted to change you right then and there but that was a selfish thought. Even though beforehand you had told the nurses about your past lives. Whispering how you needed to see us." Alice's voice was soft, I can tell it was hard for both of them to remember these things.

I remember the childbirth, only getting to hold my baby for five minutes before it all went downhill. My husband's horrified face. It's weird being technically 17 and being older in past lives. Living through adult things and going back down to a teen. Who is now forever a teen, even in past lives I never made it past 22 years old.

"Your son was a sweetheart. We stayed to help your husband until your baby was 4. He found another woman. She was good to both of them. We kept tabs on them, making sure no one hurt either one of them." Alice smiles at the memory. I felt myself grin as well, grateful to know that they lived a good life. Something I don't think I ever really had.

"I would love to share my life with you but there's things that I don't want to talk about." Alice begins to talk, my eyes shift over to her form. She's been in her head this whole time and I can tell. I give her a small smile when she makes eye contact with me.

"That's alright, we have infinity together for you to be ready to talk about it." I remind her, pulling her into a kiss. I feel her hand grip onto my bicep.

I smirk, opening my eyes to look down at the hand. We gently push away from each other.

"You've been very handsy lately." I announce out loud, Jasper laughs. "What? I feel like I'm always handsy." She disagrees with me, I look over to Jasper who puts his hands up in defense.

"You're not going to have my back, Jasper?" She exclaims in shock, her hand still dragging down my arm.

We just stare at her, watching her get all flustered until finally she sighs out. "Okay, fine. Ever since you became a hybrid, your muscles are distracting." She avoids eye contact with me now, I tilt my head, smirking at this new found information.

"Oh, you like these muscles?" I pull the short sleeves up over my shoulders and flex both my arms. Showing them off to my partners.

Kissing at my biceps. She shoves me backwards playfully. "You're annoying." She groans, hiding her face in her hands.

"Mmm, I don't think I am." I get closer to her, purposely flexing my arms as I do so. I gently take her face in my hands and forcefully kiss her once again.

"Hey, I feel a little left out." Jasper quietly speaks up after a few moments. We stop to look at him, then look at each other before pouncing on him.

It of course comes to an end when I have to join Bella to the Rez so the rest can have their night to hunt.

At the edge of the forest I look at my lovers, Alice has a hair strand out of place that I know later Jasper and I are going to hear about and how we should've told her. I smile to myself.

I join Bella, Jacob and Edward in their weird divorce parent looking handover of their lover girl. Who is also my sister and I have to be a part of this weird bullshit.

"Doesn't he own a shirt?" Edward questions aloud.

"I'm good here, you should go." Bella tells the vampire, he pulls her closer. "I'm not going to be long." He whispers to her. I roll my eyes, looking away from the sight. "Don't rush. You need to hunt." Bella tells him.

He then grabs her into a long, nasty sounding kiss. I know it's to purposely piss off the wolf across from us. I chuckle to myself. He pulls away.

"Maybe you rush a little bit." My sister teasingly tells him.

She takes my hand and walks us over to Jacob. I look back at Edward and give him a thumbs up while making a "I'm proud of you" face.

Jacob pulls Bella into a hug having her let go of my hand.  "Hey, beautiful." Nice game, Jakey.

"Hi." Bella smiles.

Edward's car speeds down. "So, whaddaya wanna do today, Swans? Bike, hike, hang? Your call, but we're going to a party tonight." Jacob tells us, opening the door for us in his truck. Of course Bella gets in the middle.

"You sure this is okay? I really hate being a party crasher." Bella nervously looks around her as I am mentally freaking out. "Yeah dude, I definitely should not be here." I chime in.

"Technically, you're both council meeting crashers, see the council leaders, dad, quil's grandpa, sue clearwater. She took over for Harry when he died." Jacob informs us, completely ignoring what I said.

"Okay, we should not be here." Bella puts our steps to a halt. "You're okay. I thought, I mean they thought it would be good for you two to hear the histories." He points mainly to his dad who was already staring at us. "The histories? The tribe's histories? Aren't they secret?"

"We all got a role to play. And you're a part of this. [Name]'s a huge part of this. I mean, it's the first time Seth, Leah and Quil are hearing them, too. But you are the first outsider. Ever. [Name] is not much of an outsider." He glances at me and I press my lips together tightly.

"If I had have known that, I wouldn't believe you. And would've dressed better." Bella sighs, picking at her clothes.

"Jake." Seth, a boy I've sort of met before trots up to us like a little excited puppy. You can tell he idolizes Jacob.

"Hey, it's about time you got here. Paul's been hoovering the grub. But I saved you some burgers." Set tells him with a toothy grin.

"Good looking out, bro. Bella this is Seth Clearwater. Leah's brother. Newest member of the pack." Jacob introduces them.

"Newest, bestest, brightest." Seth gloats.

"And slowest." Jacob grabs the boy in a headlock, the two tumble to the sand. Seth laughs, I smile at the sight.

As kids when I came up here without Bella. He looked up to Jacob then too. Seth always wanted to play with us.

A whistler comes from the circle.

"Come on. Your dad's about to start." Seth says, slightly out of breath. "Alright." Jacob pats him. The boy looks at me with a certain expression. His eyes widen once he realizes who I am.

"[Name]." He mutters out and I give him a small nod.

"The Quileutes have been a small tribe from the beginning." Billy starts as we all sit around the fire.

"But we've always had magic in our blood." I look around at everyone's faces. Their attention wholly being on Billy.

Sam was an exception, his eyes laid on me. My upper lip twitched in realization. I shift in place, fixing my attention back to the commanding chief.

"We were great spirit warriors... shape shifters, that transform into the powerful wolf. This enabled us to scare off our enemies and protect our tribe." He explains.

"One day our warriors came across a creature.." His eyes then met mine and I wanted to shrink into a bug at that moment. "It looked like a man, but it was hard like stone and cold as ice." I shivered from the words, feeling the heat of the fire but thinking of my lover's cold feeling, especially from earlier.

I shook my head from the thoughts that erupted in my mind. "Our warrior's sharp teeth finally tore it apart but only fire would completely destroy it." I think back to when I was a wolf. The feeling of the sharp teeth in my mouth.

"They lived in fear, the Cold man was not alone. And they were right."

"She took her vengeance out on the village. Our elder chief. Taha Aki was the only spirit warrior left to save the tribe after his son was killed. But it wasn't only the beautiful thing that was angered. She had a beast with her. Once that was stuck in between worlds as both combined. She had been spying on the village pretending to be with the wolves. Turning into one the village believed they could trust her. She turned on them when the cold woman came to take her vengeance." Everyone's eyes glanced at me and I felt the heat of the fire engulf me.

"Taha Aki's wife could see that he would lose. "

"The third wife of Taha was no magical being, no special powers but one...Courage." Billy said in a powerful tone.

The third wife's sacrifice distracted the cold woman, and beast of the inbetween, long enough for Taha Aki to destroy them. She saved the tribe." I felt something on my neck, it was a quick sharp pain and then a hot burning sensation around my body.

I was shocked that they could easily kill the monster who I am now. I thought I was more invincible than I really am.

"Over time, our enemies have disappeared but one remains, the Cold Ones. The Beast of the Inbetween comes and goes. Sometimes an enemy. Other times...an ally." His eyes stare into me.

"Our magic awakens when they near. And we sense it now, we feel the threat in our blood. Something terrible is coming and we must all be ready. All of us."

Sorry for the late ass post. No excuses just had no energy to write lmao!!!

Masterlist

A&J M.L.

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

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If you don’t see yourself I might have missed you or I cannot tag you because it won’t let me. Lmk if you’ve already asked and was not tagged! I apologize if that happened!!!!

[arrowheadedbitch]

"Why do you even hang out with them?" Hitoshi asked Denki as they walked side by side to his dorm after Bakugo once again yelled at Denki for being 'stupid' in class.

"They arent bad friends!" He retorted, "Just a little...insensitive sometimes."

Shinsou shot him a look back and smirked ever so slighlty, "Oh, and youre such a good judge of character, huh?"

"Hey!" He exclaimed, leaning away to show how totally definitely offended he was, "Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing." Shinsou insisted, looking away and failing to fight a smile.

"Well," Denki leaned back towards Hitoshi again, "I judged your character pretty well." He gave his classic 'I got you there' smile.

"I don't know about that." Shinsou squinted slightly at Denki, giving up completely on trying to not smile. Denki just had that effect on him, there wasn't anything he could do about it. Except maybe not hang out with Denki anymore but just the thought of that made him want to jump off the nearest bridge. It's funny, not that long ago he would have rather died than be friends with this dork, now he'd rather die than be without him.

Denki gave Shinsou a look that clearly said 'Don't talk about yourself like that' without even having to open his mouth, Denki was good at doing those kind of looks. As if Denki had any room to tell Hitoshi not to talk bad about himself, Shinsou got plenty of those 'don't talk about yourself like that' looks in himself.

But he just sighed in response and casually looked away again. They walked like that for a moment in comfortable silence before Hitoshi spoke again. "You work so hard to see the good in people, why?"

"I don't know" Denki shrugged casually, looking at the walls of the hallway they were walking in. Every now and then they would pass some sort of poster or whatnot that a student put up and Denki would follow it with his eyes, getting a good look at it without stopping or slowing his walk as to not lose Shinsou, as if he didn't think the other boy would wait for him if he stopped. Shinsou resented all of Denki's past and current friends for making him worry so much about being left behind.

"You're too optimistic" Hitoshi responded, trying not to think about all the people who have wronged Denki in the past right now. It wasn't the time.

"I happen to like optimism," Denki lookrd back at his friend and smiled, "sometimes it's better to look for the good, when you don't at some point the bad ends up being all you see" at some point his smile faltered a little and his face got a little more serious and bittersweet.

"Sometimes you need to see the bad." Shinsou countered.

"Yeah, sometimes," Denki agreed, "but this isn't one of those times." The electric blonde answered, still referring to his friends in 1A.

"And you would know that how?" Hitoshi raised an eyebrow at him.

"I can just tell" Denki shrugged, a small smug smile gracing his face.

"How?" Shinsou leaned a little closer, playful skepticism filling the air around them.

"I guess I just have an eye for these sorts of things." Denki leaned in slightly too, matching Toshi's energy, excepting the implied playful challenge and smiling.

"Alright, alright," Shinsou leaned back again, "you look for the good in everyone, and I'll look for the bad." He compromised.

"I don't know if that's the best solution..." Denki tried and failed to hold back a small laugh, squinting at the taller boy.

"No," Hitoshi's face brightened up in a way that was rare for anyone but Kaminari to see, "because you can tell me about all the good to restore my faith in humanity or whatever and I can take care of you when you inevitably see the good in the wrong person, it's the perfect plan."

Denki couldn't help the way his face lit up to match Tosh's "I think you'll find I can take care of myself just fine." He rolled his eyes slightly.

"I know you can," Hitoshi's face went back to normal, the rare light dissipating, "but sometimes I don't think you want to."

"Oh?" Denki raised an eyebrow, face not yet dimming, "You think I'm looking for a prince charming to come save me? Jeez, how self-centered can you get?" He teased.

"No." Shinsou responded, no hint of the gentle back and forth teasing they were so used to in his voice.

"What?" Denki scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

"No." Shinsou continued, "I don't think you're waiting for someone to come and save you."

"Then wha-" Before he even finished what he was going to say, realization hit him. He knew exactly what Tosh meant. The smile left his face as a dread grew in his chest, he bit his lip and turned away from his greatest confidant, looking at the wall again but this time his eyes didn't follow any of the posters, not even registering they were there as his eyes fixed on the trim.

They sat in silence once again, but this time, it was longer and far less comfortable. Hitoshi watched as Denki stared at the wall, shrinking in on himself. A second ago his movements were so lively, but now he had his arms wrapped around his body and he was hunched down. He couldn't help the way his heart dropped and face scrunched in...not quite pity but something else entirely.

Denki chanced a glance back at Hitoshi before turning back to the wall trim, "...stop looking at me like that."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Not really sure how to start this, so I guess I'll just go straight into it.

Is there a name for having sex fantasies where you're a child in them?

A lot of the time, I need to dissociate when I'm getting off. I know a lot of my kinks & preferences stem from either trauma, or dysphoria, or a combination of the two. Most of them make sense & I can say “yeah I like X because of Y.” or “oh yeah, Z happened, and now I'm really into X.”

But the one thing that doesn't make sense to me is needing to put myself in a frame of mind where I'm a child, or imagine myself in a scenario where I'm a child, in order to get off.

Is this just another form of ageplay? Or is it something else?

A lot of the time I feel guilty & gross for it - because *why* do I need to see myself as *a child* getting abused or put in a sexual context, in order to get off? I should be seeing myself as an adult, I should be getting treated as an adult, because sex is for adults. Yet the easiest way for someone to rush me towards getting off is to call me a kid & treat me like one & for me to see myself as one in their eyes - for me to be helpless & naive & coerced & unprepared for what's about to happen or the consequences.

Sometimes the fantasies are based on memories, sometimes they're pure fantasy.

To be clear: I have no desire to go back to being that age, or to be around kids that age. Kids are gross to me, there's 0 attraction to them, nothing like that. If someone's even a few weeks younger than me, or the same age as me, it's a turn off - I only get attracted to people older than me.

But if someone gives me a Stitch sippycup & a hoodie I wore when I was 12 & wants to fuck me on the couch while a cartoon plays, I'll be rolling over for them within seconds, and in my head, I'll see myself doing those things as a child. I used to be really into littlespace & agere & ageplay, but negative experiences really put me off of them. Is this just… idk, another version of them? Or something else?

Does this have a name? And is it something I should feel so gross & guilty over?

hi anon,

it sounds like you're just into ageplay, dude. which is fine, by the way, like any other roleplaying between consenting adults playing horny make believe games is fine. you obviously have a really clear sense of the difference between you, personally, wanting to act like a kid and wanting to actually do sexual acts to real children, so I'm personally not seeing anything to feel gross or guilty about here. obviously if this is something that causes you to feel bad about yourself I wouldn't recommend engaging with it, but that's entirely due to your actions rather than anything inherently evil about what you're into.

as to your questions about why this - not every kink or fetish has a neat, tidy solution, and they don't need to. for most people, we're just into what we're into. but you may find this ask, written to another person worried about being turned on by things reminiscent of their abuse, to be helpful.

I do have, like, some questions about why you aren't able to see people the same age as you as viable sexual partners, but that's a question for someone with way more degrees than I have.

[genericpuff]

story time

after like a year of giving up on it, i found another possible solution to my dead kamvas 22 plus (the display tablet that i used for 2 years before it randomly shit the bed, i've been using it exclusively as a monitor ever since without drawing support)

in my hyperfixated state of trying new solutions, i then proceeded to nearly blow up my motherboard when i accidentally stuck a USB-C - which was plugged into a cable box plugged into a power bar plugged into the wall - into a USB-A port :)

PC then retaliated against this blatant act of foolishness by shutting down and then refusing to boot past the BIOS, it would just give me the USB over current "the PC will shut down automatically in 15 seconds" warning

had a very tiny little meltdown thinking i was gonna have to call my PC guy in the morning to once again explain how much of a fucking idiot i am (wouldn't be the first time) and then possibly drop hundreds on a new motherboard if i managed to fuck it over that badly

BUT thankfully it's not gonna come to that because after doing some power cycling for about 15 minutes, i plugged everything back in and the computer booted up just fine

despite nearly cooking my computer, i then still had the audacity to continue with my troubleshooting (i wasn't gonna let this stupid tablet humble me quite so easily) but this time by resetting it entirely through the settings, which then proceeded to give my tablet a literal seizure until i unplugged it and plugged it back in again - and then after THAT i realized in horror that i had duped myself yet again, as resetting my tablet in the settings also went and reset my color gamut settings (and i don't have my previous settings recorded anywhere nearby because of course i wouldn't, i nearly blew up my computer LMAO)

messed around with the color and brightness settings for the next 45 minutes and while it doesn't 'feel' like how it used to, i also can't be assed to trust myself at this point, it looks close enough to my phone display so i'll take it and just assume that my brain is too cooked to even remember what it looked like before LMAO

anyways lesson of the day: don't live like i do, you will probably explode :)

[ragnarokhound]

hey i saw ur tag on the executive dysfunction post where u said ur meds allow u to punch a hole in the wall and access the internal well of motivation or some such. can i ask how that works as in can you just do things after that?? you like have a task you gotta do and you up and do it? sorry to break into ur askbox like this i was just very curious because my executives do not function

Hi! Sure, I don't mind :)

Short answer: yes. :') I take my meds in the morning, and over the course of the day, it is much easier for me to add tasks to my mental list and then knock them down like the most dutiful Sim in the world. I forget to do things sometimes still - but those are usually due to other barriers like 'I would like to schedule this appointment, but I'm at work right now so I can't do that yet.' and then hours later I will have forgotten that I needed to do that. WHOOPSIES. Not necessarily an ADHD problem, just an average human one.

Also, the meds make it easier to access the well. That doesn't mean I always CHOOSE to use the well, haha. Sometimes I am just sooo comfy in bed and think 'i should get up. But I bet I could get away with another 25 minutes of dozing UwU' and then after my alarm goes off because my 25 minutes are up, I'm cursing my past self for being a hedonistic sloth because I really do have to get up now or I'll be late. I CAN choose correctly. That doesn't mean I do.

Long answer getting into the nitty gritty of my ADHD med journey below the cut:

So just remember that I'm not a doctor, I'm a stranger on the internet, so I don't know quite how it works, and not all medication will work the same for everyone. Executive function is huge for folks with ADHD, but it might be something else! ADHD often shakes hands with other conditions.

BUT - in my experience, I was diagnosed with combined ADHD (both the hyperactive bouncy kind and the laser focus, sit still for 12 hours doing one thing kind). A lot of my own executive function problems stemmed from not being able to choose what I hyper focused on, for how long, or if I even could. :')

There's a few different medications available to choose from once you get a diagnosis, including a fast-acting stimulant and a slow-release stimulant. The one that helps me is a slow-release - I take it in the morning, and it'll start to kick in after an hour and gives me a steady stream over the course of the day, wearing off about 8 hours later.

People with ADHD don't make as much dopamine on their own, and stimulants help your brain produce more of it. If you find yourself feeling calm and more able to focus or task-switch after drinking coffee, or soda, or other uppers, you might be self-medicating, and a diagnosis and meds may be helpful (but definitely talk that out with a doctor).

It took a while for my "storage" of dopamine to build up, and it wasn't pretty the whole journey there. There were multiple days in a row that I had to force myself to eat because the meds suppress appetite, so it was easy to skip meals I shouldn't have. (I embraced snacking over the whole day as a solution until my humors were balanced and I'd built up the habit of prepping a lunch hours beforehand lol)

But the benefits were immediate. Some things are normal, and habits are something every human has to figure out how to build regardless of whether you make enough dopamine - but I was immediately calmer. I would think 'i need to take out the garbage. I will do that now' and I would, in fact, take out the garbage? I'd just get up? And do it??? It was that easy. I find it much easier to stop in the middle of what I'm doing without getting annoyed, and to task switch without it completely breaking my flow. I'm CAPABLE of task switching at all. It's easier to remember that mug I left in the microwave. I can sit or work in silence and it's fine, I don't need music to be playing in the background to focus.

I still have to convince myself sometimes to do things when my executives don't want to function - a big coping skill I like is giving myself a crossroads moment. If I'm reading, the crossroads moment is at the end of a chapter, or a scene break. If I'm playing a game the crossroads moment is when I lost or won a round, or when I completed the task I was in the middle of, or reached a safe area.

At a crossroads moment, you can either choose to keep doing whatever you're doing, or do something else. It's why being on Tumblr and other social media is difficult to get away from, because there is no natural stopping point if you haven't turned off infinite scrolling. If that's hard for you, see if you can change your dash settings to only load a page/set number of posts at a time. You'll get a crossroads moment every time you reach the bottom of that page.

This is all my own experience with ADHD and stimulants, so again, I encourage you to think about whether this sounds like you and bring it up to a doctor if it's having a really big impact on your life.

I hope this helps! I also suggest this video from Jaiden Animations - she talks about her own experience getting an ADHD diagnosis, and funnily enough, this video dropped within the same week as I got mine, haha.