#and that is pretty much exclusively what I use it for
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based on a convo with my brother
#i use year pretty much exclusively but my brother says the writer#i guess the writer makes sense bc you dont have to memorize all the years#but i think the year gives it more context than the author#though ig there are runs where you have to say author bc the run has been going on for so long#like ill usually say 'starlin's batman' bc its technically like 400 issues into batman (1940)#i also usually say 'marz green lantern' when i talk about kyle's gl run#bc even though its gl 1990 kyle doesnt show up until issue 50#and it basically becomes a different book when marz takes over#idk im curious what everyone else thinks
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I think the crux of the matter is more that just, D&D (and pretty much all RPGs) are, by nature, inherently opinionated about the kind of story they want to tell. Regardless of the setting set dressing you use, if you play Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition and make use of the core, basic mechanics, there are several assumptions that are baked into the game about the kind of story you want to tell - that players are controlling distinct individuals and reacting to the world, that actions with uncertain chances of success will occur, that the degree of uncertainty can be changed by circumstance, that the outcome of attempting these uncertain actions is typically binarily categorized into 'success' or 'failure', that these actions are resolved non-simultaneously, and so on.
While various systems are optional to the core gameplay, and the text even calls attention to some of them, if you look at what systems are actually present for inclusion or exclusion there's also a clear focus on combat (of the skirmish variety) and exploration of dungeon or wilderness environments. There's not an optional social combat system presented in the player's handbook, or a drop-in economic model for if a player establishes a keep, or things like that. There's firearms and laser pistols, and sanity for if you find any eldritch spookums, and different paces of resting to regain your actions and spell slots. This makes sense, because it's ultimately, yknow, Dungeons and Dragons. It's derived from Gary Gygax's dungeon crawling miniature skirmish game. It's telling a specific kind of story - a story about going somewhere, fighting guys, acquiring material wealth and getting stronger to do it again.
Could you tell, for instance, a love story, in D&D? You could undeniably do so in the social framework of what we understand as Dungeons and Dragons - I'm given to understand it's quite popular, with certain values of 'love story' - but with the actual gameplay mechanics of Dungeons and Dragons the published game by Wizards of the Coast, there's no real support for it! You would either be homebrewing your own full game for the type of story you want to tell from scratch, importing systems from other game(s) that you should probably just be playing instead, or doing freeform RP and occasionally stopping to clumsily attempt to make concessions to the game system you're nominally using when you encounter a situation with which the rules are actually concerned (this is the approach a lot of 5e podcasts seem to take).
D&D is less of a Golden Corral (which some systems do attempt to be with, I am told, very mixed results) and more of a frozen yogurt shop. There's certainly customization - there's a toppings bar - but at the end of the day it's still a dessert. It's frozen yogurt, in different flavors, with sweet (or sweet-complementing) toppings on it. You're never going to get authentic Mexican cooking out of a frozen yogurt shop no matter what combination of flavors and toppings you try, and the closest you could get to it is not very close at all.
And in trying to market itself as either a universal roleplaying game or a game focused on character's social interactions, personalities, et al., 5e is also more like a frozen yogurt shop making a huge marketing push to position itself as the best pizzeria in the city. And every time you say you'd like pizza, your friends go 'hey, why don't we try that one that's advertising everywhere?', and you have to explain that it's a frozen yogurt shop. And they either don't believe you, try to get pizza there, fail, and are disappointed; they bring their own pizza that they made at home or got from another restaurant, pay full price for a frozen yogurt that they don't eat, and say that you were wrong for thinking it couldn't be a pizza place; or they just eat there anyway because they like frozen yogurt too. I don't know. This reblog is kind of falling apart.
im confused about the dnd 5e hatred. yall arent just ignoring rules that are dumb? ur dm actually follows every single thing in the book for real?
if you have to ignore some of the rules for the game to be good then the game is not good
#These critiques have been made better in various forms by mr. david prokopetz and various personalities of the OSR#this is really too long for what this post is#to be clear: marcie is a friend of mine and i'm not trying to attacka her or anything!#i'm just offering some thoughts and possibly information.
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🔪 - mr and mrs ghostface
summary: a picture of LA's newest couple goes viral.. but no one knows who they are. who could they be?
warnings: just fluff! was written in a rush
word count: 865
author's note: sorry about this being posted almost a month after halloween, i hope it was worth the wait :) even though it's rushed and i hate the layout of it
author's note 2: read the last author's note at the end of the fic pleaseeee and go to the link on it too tysm!!
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october 31st was the day of the most highly anticipated influencer party of the entire year. it was very exclusive, only certain people could even get on the list. everyone knew about it and wanted to attend.
paparazzi were staged outside, awaiting the guests with bright camera flashes, capturing photos of them in their costumes. they continued to lurk outside throughout the party, desperate to catch any sign of anything worth releasing to the public.
they didn't find much, but they did see a mysterious couple leave the party for a few minutes before going back in. they released a photo of the two together and it immediately went viral.
“NEW IT COUPLE caught hanging around outside LA's most exclusive influencer party. Who could Mr. and Mrs. Ghostface be?”
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millions of likes and around twelve hours later, you wake up from a peaceful sleep in your boyfriend's arms. you had a good dream but you can't seem to remember it right now. you look up to check on matt and he's still fast asleep, messy brown hair scattered across his forehead, and lips slightly parted as soft snores escape them.
you roll over to check your phone which is charging on his nightstand. when doing so, you can see the matching ghostface masks on the floor by his closet. as soon as you look at your phone, you're overwhelmed by the amount of messages and missed calls from yours and matt’s friends.
you scroll through what seems like hundreds of them, trying to make sense of it all. you even peek over at matt's phone, seeing that it's the pretty much the same. finally, you see a message telling you to check LAnews on instagram.
you frantically open the app and type it into your search bar. your jaw drops when you check their most recent post. that “mystery couple” they posted about is you and matt. you shake his arm and he awakens with a startled grunt. “what is it?” he mumbles.
“look!” you put the screen in front of his face and he rubs his eyes trying to figure out exactly what he's looking at. “is that us..?” he asks. “yes!” he sits up, leaning back against the headboard as he stretches. “what are you freaking out about? they didn't say it was us.”
you sigh softly. “yeah, but,” you pause, “what if they find out?” he stays silent and puts his arm around you. “maybe it's about time they find out, baby. it's been almost a year.” your head leans onto his shoulder. “you're right.. but i don't want people to find out from them. it should come from us.”
“okay,” he murmurs as he stretches again, “i'm starving though, let's have breakfast first.” you nod in agreement. “how do pancakes sound?” he gets out of bed excitedly as if he wasn't woken up against his will two minutes ago.
you make your way into the kitchen, pulling the pancake mix out of the cupboard while matt gets a mixing bowl and a frying pan. you make the pancakes together, being careful to stay quiet so as not to wake up chris or nick.
you plate the pancakes, dividing them between you two and putting any toppings you want on them before sitting down and eating. you eat side by side in comfortable silence for a little while before he speaks up between bites, “so how do you think we should announce it?” he shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth as he awaits your response.
“i don't know.. maybe an instagram post? just some cute pictures of us and one from last night.” “yeah, i like that.” you fall silent which doesn't go unnoticed by him. “what are you thinking about?” “i'm just a little worried about what people are gonna say, you know.”
“don't worry about them. you love me right?” you nod at him. “and i love you. so that's it. that's all that matters and nothing will change that.” you realize that he's right. you love him too much to let anyone behind a screen interfere with that. “you're right,” you tell him, pausing to kiss him on the lips, “i love you.”
after finishing your breakfast and cleaning up the dishes, you sit down again and decide on the perfect pictures to use. it takes longer than you thought but you couldn't be happier with the way it turned out.
you hit share on the joint post before you both turn your phones off, awaiting the chaos of the media that will come about in the next few hours, or even days. it feels so nice and freeing to finally have everything out in the open, to have a real relationship and not have to hide anything.
you both catch yourselves glancing at your phones. “we should do something to distract ourselves,” you tell matt, “we can't just wait around like this.” a smirk crosses his lips and he picks you up unexpectedly. “i think i know what we could do,” he says as he runs off in the direction of his bedroom, leaving you giggling over his shoulder.
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author's note 3: if you wanna see style posts and updates of madi, please give my friend pinkfilipowicz a follow! she wants to hit 100 followers by the end of the year and she's at around 30 rn i think. and follow her on tiktok too if you like madi edits!! <3
btw if that's not convincing enough, she found a shirt from a screenshot of madi's tiktok where you can't see it that well AND from a pic where you can barely see the shirt!! still shocked she found that and fast too so yk she's good at this. she's so seriously underrated i love her sm
#matt x reader#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets
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florida!!! - aleksander barkov
aleksander barkov x reader
summary: while in florida on vacation you reconnect with someone from your past
warnings: a mixture of aleksander and sasha used throughout, angst, nsfw implied, small age gap (not specific), not edited (it’s 3am)
word count: 4.1k (oops)
“i’ve got some regrets, i’ll bury them in florida”
the smell of coconut wafted through your nose as you applied sunscreen for the third time that day, your skin not yet used to the heat of fort lauderdale. you were visiting for 2 weeks, a much needed vacation from your life back home, and you already felt relaxed after only two days here.
some of your friends were supposed to join you on the trip, but eventually cancelled, either not having the money or not being able to get the time off from work.
though it would have been more fun with them here, you didn’t mind travelling alone, having studied abroad in college and enjoyed every second of it.
well, mostly - you thought to yourself. despite only being here once before as a child, florida was bringing up some memories in your mind that had been long dormant. it wasn’t the state itself that was to blame though; it was something else. someone, to be more specific.
your phone rang in the back pocket of your shorts, and you swiped answer on the call.
“hey jessie,” you answered with a smile.
“hey! how’s florida?” your best friend asked.
“i wish you were here with me, but it’s still pretty amazing,” you admitted.
“i know, i wish i was there too,” she sighed. “next time, i promise - even if i have to quit my job so i can get the time,” she laughed.
“how will you pay for the trip then genius?”
“leave that to me.”
“alright,” you surrendered with a chuckle.
“see any hot guys yet?” she asked, of course that’s what she wanted to know.
“a few, not that i’m really looking,” you admitted. while there had been a few good looking men you had spotted while you were here, there was one specifically that was occupying your mind for the last few days; and you were trying to drown out any thoughts of him.
“did you decide if you’re going to a game or not?” jessie asked as if she had read your mind.
“maybe - the arena is right near my hotel, but i just don’t know if i’ll find the time,” you brushed it off.
“babe, you’re there for 2 weeks, i think you can find time if you want to.”
“you’re right,” you sighed deeply, flopping onto the soft duvet spread across the bed.
“i always am.”
“i’m gonna ignore that,” you smiled. “it’s not like i would see him anyway,” you thought out loud.
“unless you did.”
“that’s not helpful,” you replied with a roll of your eyes.
“i’m sorry!” jessie apologized. “and don’t roll your eyes at me, i can hear it in your voice,” she teased, and you both laughed.
during the 2 years that you had studied abroad in finland, you had wound up entangled with the one and only aleksander barkov; who in the years since then had blossomed in the national hockey league and become the captain of the florida panthers.
things were good for the most part, despite both of your busy schedules you made it work, and all too quickly found yourself falling for the handsome and humble man. he was a few years older than you, kind, handsome, and a perfect gentleman. there were ups and downs, and he was away from home a lot, but you made it work, keeping things casual and not exactly exclusive; not that you even entertained anyone else when he was gone. unfortunately, like most college relationships, things fell apart when you ended your studies there. you tried for a few months after you finished your courses, but despite your feelings for him, there wasn’t enough to keep you in finland without school to occupy you when he was gone so much of the time.
you thought back to the day that you told him you were leaving; the hurt in his eyes broke your heart, but you both knew the day was coming. you were on borrowed time and you both realized it long before either of you gained the courage to admit it.
“i don’t want you to go, but it’s selfish of me to ask you to stay,” he said sadly, and you buried your head in his chest, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around your body.
“we knew it wasn’t forever right?”
“yeah, we knew,” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head.
a part of you wished it could have been.
“are you listening to me?” jessie’s voice snapped you out of it, and you ran a hand over your face in frustration.
“yeah, sorry,” you shook your head, trying to think about anything else.
“you’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
“it’s hard not to - knowing how close we are right now,” you sighed in defeat. you had found it hard to stop yourself from wondering how he was doing, besides thriving on a successful hockey team.
“you miss him.” the way she worded it, it wasn’t a question, you realized.
“our lives are so different and it’s been years since i’ve seen him, jess.” the last time you had seen sasha was when he dropped you off at the airport, the kiss goodbye was almost enough to make you stay. you had texted him when you landed back home, and you’d kept in touch for a few weeks, calling eachother here and there but the distance drove a wedge between you. soon enough life got busy and it was easier to lose contact.
“you didn’t answer the question,” she pointed out.
“i don’t even know if he’s the same person he was back then - i’m certainly not. and he’s a hotshot nhl captian now.”
“of course people change, but this is sasha were talking about. do you really think he’d be that different than he was when you knew him?” she asked. you had told her so much about him, it was like she knew him even though they’d never met. and it was true; the sasha you knew would never let the fame get to him.
“i don’t know him anymore.”
“if you say so. i got to get back to work, my break is over. i’ll call you in a few days?”
“sounds good,” you replied. “love you jess.”
“love you too. keep me updated.”
before you could protest she hung up, and you tossed your phone onto the pillow next to you.
you stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, before grabbing your phone again, opening it to contacts without realizing what you were doing until your finger hovered over the name ‘sasha’.
you hesitated for a moment before closing the app, and googling florida panthers tickets instead.
•
three days later you found yourself sat in one of the crimson seats of amerant bank arena, waiting for the game to begin. you casually followed the nhl, not watching every game, but for obvious reasons, you had a soft spot for the south florida team; it helped that they were fun to watch and had become a force to be reckoned with these last few seasons.
as interested as you were in the game, you found it hard to focus on anything but the memories of aleksander that had continued to float around in your mind for the duration of your vacation. you had woken up this morning with an ache between your legs as you dreamt of the last night you had spent tangled with sasha beneath the sheets of his bed. you could still remember the way his hands felt tracing every inch of your body; not even a cold shower could erase it.
you’d considered not going to the game despite having bought a ticket, but wanted to experience a panthers game while you were here, unsure of when you would get the chance to see them play at home again.
the panthers won, and you weren’t sure if it was the adrenaline from the crowd lingering, but you found you thumb hovering over sasha’s contact in you phone again as you sat next to the pool back at the hotel later that night.
you decided against a phone call, typing out a text message before you could talk yourself out of it.
hey - it’s y/n from college. congrats on the win tonight! :)
a simple ‘hey’ didn’t seem like enough - you weren’t even sure if he had the same number after all these years, or if he remembered you at all. the doubt started to set in the second you hit send, the possibility that you hadn’t left as much of an impact on him as he had with you setting in fast.
what if he didn’t remember you at all?
you decided to call jessie to distract your mind, and you were thankful that it didn’t take her long to pick up.
“hey! i was just about to call you!”
“great minds think alike,” you laughed, her voice putting you at ease a little already.
“what’s up?” she asked.
“just sitting by the pool,” you replied. you hadn’t told her you’d decided to go to the game, and you hadn’t decided if you were going to tell her about the text you’d sent or not yet.
“ugh i’m jealous. i’m considering ditching work and flying out there to join you at this point. you’re still there for another week or so hey?” she asked.
“yeah, 9 more days actually. it would be nice to have you here, jess.”
“is everything okay?” she asked, always able to tell when something was bothering you.
“yeah, i think i just got too much sun today, my head hurts.” you weren’t entirely lying, but you just hoped she didn’t check the weather and see that it had been cloudy in fort lauderdale that day.
“bet you never had that problem in finland, hey?” you knew she was teasing, the climate in finland in fact being drastically drearier than florida, but you were hoping to not think about that for at least a few minutes.
“yeah, definitely not.”
despite the cold, you loved everything about finland. it took some getting used to the dark and cold, but each time aleksander showed you around different places around the country, you knew you would find it harder to leave.
for more reasons than just the scenery.
the day he showed you around his home town of tampere finland was the day you realized that you were falling in love with him.
you walked hand in hand down crowded streets, sasha pointing out different things from his childhood, like where he grew up playing hockey, his favourite restaurants, everything.
you looked up at him in wonder as the glow of the street lights illuminated his face, a light pink tinge across his cheeks and nose from the cold. fluffy white snowflakes fell softly around you, gathering atop the beanie that covered his head and across his broad shoulders.
it was only a few months since you had met, but it felt like you had known him for years. you never imagined a day would come where it would feel like you were strangers, even knowing that your time in finland was temporary.
“you don’t have to leave,” he had said, only a month left in your final semester abroad.
you laid bare next to him, his bedsheets the only thing covering your body as you fiddled absentmindedly with his hands, tracing calluses with your fingertips.
“once the semester is over i won’t have a place to stay, i can’t stay at the dorm.” you had gotten a job at a coffee shop that made you enough money to afford food and necessities, but you couldn’t afford an apartment with that salary, and hadn’t intended to get a job in your chosen field here. the plan was always to go home after your schooling was done.
“you could stay here, with me.”
it wasn’t an absurd idea; you spent a lot of nights at aleksanders house anyway when he wasn’t on the road. but in reality, he wasn’t home that often, and you would feel weird living in his house without him.
“you mean it?” you asked, your heart aching at the thought that even if he said yes, you knew your answer was no. part of him knew it too.
a notification went off on your phone, and you snapped out of your daydream, realizing that you’d once again become lost in memories of what once was.
you pulled your phone away from your ear, jessie’s voice getting quieter as she went on about something that happened at work today. you knew you were being a bad friend, and made a mental note to make it up to her later.
you saw that you had a text message and your breath caught in your throat as you tapped on it.
hey ☺️ it’s been a long time. you watched the game?
you stared at the message, suprised he’d responded so fast, if at all.
“i’m sorry, i gotta go, my phones about to die, i’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” jessie said, and you said a quick goodbye before you both hung up, leaving you alone to deal with your thoughts.
what had you intended when you texted sasha? you weren’t sure even you knew, but typed out a reply anyway; deciding you would figure it out as you went.
i was there actually - i’m in florida for a few days.
you impatiently waited as the three dots appeared to indicate that he was typing.
oh wow. thank you for coming to the game.
you smiled.
i wouldn’t miss it.
it took a few minutes after he read the message for him to reply this time, and you worried you’d said something wrong. deciding you didn’t want to sit by the pool anymore, you wrapped your towel around yourself, fighting of the evening chill that had begun to tickle your skin.
you’d made it up to your hotel room by the time your phone went off again, though it was a text this time; it was ringing. you assumed it was jessie, but froze when you saw sasha’s name light up the screen instead.
should i answer it? you thought.
a thousand reasons why you should or shouldn’t ran through your mind, but you ultimately swiped accept and closed the door behind you as you stepped in to your suite.
“hi,” you answered nervously. all these years later and he still had this much of an effect on you.
“hi,” he replied, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. “it really is you.”
“did you think it might not be?” you laughed slightly, and on the other end of the call, aleksander realized how much he’d missed the sound.
“i don’t know, maybe,” he admitted. “it’s good to hear from you.”
your heart skipped a beat.
“how have you been?” you asked, pacing around the room. despite how easily sasha used to be able to put you at ease, you couldn’t stay still.
“i’m good,” he replied, and you had forgotten that he was a man of few words at times. “what about you? what brings you to florida?”
you couldn’t exactly tell him that you had been good save for the fact that he was all you’d thought about for the last few days.
“good,” you decided was your answer. “why did you call instead of texting?” you asked. it had been years since you last spoke, but you felt like you were back in college, calling him while he was on the road to hear about his latest game.
“oh… i just wanted to hear your voice i guess,” he admitted, a blush forming across his face that he was glad you couldn’t see.
sasha sat in his car outside the restaurant where he and some of his teammates had been out to celebrate their victory when you texted, and he had excused himself to make a phone call, quietly sneaking out to his car.
of course he’d thought about you in the years since you left finland, always considering you to be the one that got away, despite the fact that you both knew from the beginning that you’d be leaving.
he hadn’t expected you to text him out of the blue that you were in florida, and it made him anxious to know that you were so close, especially knowing that you had been at the game earlier that day.
a happy anxious.
“yeah, it’s nice to hear your voice too.”
“are you coming to the game later this week?” he asked. you hadn’t planned on it, but the way he asked made you hope it meant that he wanted you to say yes.
“i might be, i’ll have to see about getting a ticket,” you replied, giving an open ended answer.
“if you need a ticket i can send you one,” he said, before quickly adding. “if you want.”
“do you want me there?” you asked, hoping you weren’t being too bold to assume that could be what he meant.
“of course i do.”
•
you spent the next few days feeling like you were floating on air, like you would wake up any moment and this would all be a dream.
you had been texting aleksander almost constantly, and he called you every night, catching up on the years you had missed, though it felt like no time had passed.
you were suprised when he had asked you to meet him after the game tomorrow, which he had in fact gotten you a ticket for. you tried to offer to pay for it, but he refused. you knew he could easily get them for free as the captain, but still felt wrong taking it.
you were getting ready to head to the arena, when your phone rang.
“are you ever actually working when you’re at your job?” you laughed as you accepted the call from jessie.
“i’m on my break for your information,” she argued playfully.
“fair enough. how are things back home?”
“boring without you of course,” she laughed.
“obviously,” you teased.
“did you decide if you’re going to the game tonight?” she asked, and you half wondered if she had cameras watching you.
“i am actually getting ready to go right now, stalker.”
“good - i’m sure you’ll have a great time,” she replied. “and who knows, maybe you’ll run into a certain finnish captian while you’re there…”
“i doubt it,” you lied. you still hadn’t told her that you’d already gone to a game, or that you’d been talking with sasha non stop for the last three days.
“you never know. cupid works in mysterious ways.”
“jess…”
“i know im just teasing.”
you talked for a few more minutes before you had to leave to go the arena, still thinking about what she had said.
if only she knew, you laughed to yourself.
•
you waited in your rental car after the game for aleksander to text you where to meet him, giving him time to shower and talk with the team after yet another panthers win.
he had let them know that he wouldn’t be joining them to celebrate tonight, but hadn’t told them why, deciding to keep your existence a secret for now as neither of you were sure exactly that this was.
you phone went off and you checked to see that he had sent you his location, still at the arena but he must have parked on the other side where fans couldn’t usually go.
you drove over until you saw him standing outside the players entrance, and your heart rate sped up.
talking on the phone was one thing, but seeing him in person was different.
you hoped you looked okay as you parked and got out, walking up to him with a smile.
“hey,” he smiled, and you couldn’t resist the urge to embrace him in a hug, which he thankfully returned.
sasha felt a pang in his heart as he held you tight to his chest, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. he missed this; sure he had moved on with his life in the time you had spent apart, but there was a part of him that always wondered what it would have been like to have you there by his side the whole time.
“did you get taller?” you laughed, and he smiled, blushing softly like he always did anytime you complimented him.
“maybe,” he shrugged as he felt your arms release their grip on him. as you stepped back, he took in your appearance. you had grown up slightly since he’d watched you board a plane and leave him behind, but the years had been good to you.
“congrats on the win by the way,” you said, suprised at how the nerves had melted away. so far, he was still the same sasha, and you’d always found it easy to talk to him.
“thank you,” he said shyly, humble as ever.
“where did you wanna go?” you asked.
“do you want to get coffee?”
“sure,” you smiled. “lead the way, captain.”
•
you and sasha spent nearly three hours in the small coffee shop, catching up on anything you’d missed telling eachother over the phone, and repeating somethings you already had. neither of you minded, and when the barista let you guys know that they’d be closing up soon, you found yourself wishing you had more time.
just like in finland.
there was no one else in the coffee shop since it was late at night by now, and the soft music was quickly making you tired despite the caffeine in your system.
“i should take you home,” he offered, and then as if he read your mind, added. “i can pick you up tomorrow morning and take you to your car if you want.”
“sure - thank you,” he helped you put on your light jacket you had worn despite the florida heat, and you hesitated before slipping your hand into his as he walked beside you to his car, fingers interlocking.
once you were back at your hotel, you hesitated before getting out of the car.
“do you want to come up with me?” too scared to see his reaction, you looked down at your lap as you waited for his answer, but the sound of the engine shutting off made you lift you gaze and meet his eyes.
“i’d like that.”
•
you woke up to the feeling of sasha’s fingers tracing patterns on the bare skin of your shoulder, and cuddled closer into his chest as the sunlight crept in through a crack in the curtains.
“good morning,” he whispered.
“good morning,” you repeated, feeling the warmth of his arms wrapping around you, your legs tangled with his beneath the covers.
“i missed this,” he admitted, and you hummed in response.
“me too.”
he was silent for a moment, as if he was mustering up the courage to ask you his next question.
“do you ever wonder what things would be like if you had stayed in finland?”
you looked up at him, your eyes meeting.
“yeah, a lot actually,” you admitted. “sometimes i regret leaving.”
“you had to go,” he said, but you could tell that it had hurt him when you left. maybe as much as it had hurt you.
“it was one of the hardest things i ever did. leaving you.”
“we found eachother again though,” he replied, always finding a way to look at things in a positive light. reality set in as you realized the harsh truth.
“i’m only in florida for a few more days sasha,” you confessed, and you felt guilty. surely he knew that you had to leave again, but it still felt like you were doing something wrong.
“i know,” he assured you. “no one stays anywhere forever.” you knew he hadn’t meant it with any hostility.
“do you like it here in florida?” you asked, trying to shift the subject off of you leaving. “it’s so different from home.”
“it’s very different, but it’s nice.” he agreed, and while he knew when you called finland home you meant his, but there was a time when you called it home as well, even if you were just a guest there.
“yeah, it’s really nice,” you agreed.
“will you visit again?” he asked the question you had been dreading.
“i don’t know when i’ll be able to,” you said honestly. “but i’ll try, sasha.”
he smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“we play in your hometown next month,” he remembered aloud, and you smiled, knowing you would see him again sooner than you imagined.
“i’ll have to get a ticket,” you smiled at him.
“i think i can help with that.”
disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned
#nhl#nhl fic#nhl imagine#real person fiction#hockey#sasha barkov fic#sasha barkov x reader#sasha barkov#aleksander barkov fic#aleksander barkov x reader#aleksander barkov#barkov#fla panthers#florida panthers fic#florida#florida panthers#hockey fic
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accidentally getting into mixology is dangerous for the kind of person who uses different specific drinkware for coffee vs tea vs GREEN tea and who has a glass she informally but insistently thinks of as The Milk Glass
#I actually also have a ceramic mug that I literally bought because it instantly made me go 'oh that's for drinking milk out of'#and that is pretty much exclusively what I use it for#it's the one intentional exception to my 'glasses for cold drinks/ ceramics for hot drinks' rules#on the one hand I'm not the kind of person to get EXTREMELY granular about this based on other people's made up rules#like... a wine glass is a wine glass I don't need separate ones for different kinds of wine#but did I buy a set of coupes for the wizard's nightcap after thinking about it for literal weeks? yes I did#we're overdue to put our holiday stuff away which includes pretty glassware we got as wedding gifts#and 90% of the time the non-seasonal glasses we have are normal and fine for the things we need drinking glasses for#but I just caught myself going 'oh no we don't own any rocks glasses that aren't wintry 😰'#because that's what the dragonclaw sunset was accidentally designed into and like... that's where it BELONGS#I've also had trouble every time I've ever made a gin and tonic at home tbh...#I've usually just done them in the hurricane glasses but that's not Correct and it FEELS incorrect#you see them a lot of times in rocks glasses; personally I think they'd be prettier in a highball-- but we don't own either :')#the aesthetic is a part of it! tastes better when it Looks Right 😔#about me#potions
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really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."
#like... p'jojo. you gave us 3wbf??? what's going on bud#only friends the series#ofts#am i misinterpreting boston? did I miss something? is this just a poorly executed representation of something else entirely??#idk this really just did not sit well with me#i love pretty much everything else in this show so i'm disappointed that this was the last thing we got#bc I've been saying this the whole time!! boston DOES want a romantic relationship and he's spent the whole show coming to terms with that#he really does love nick#and he wants romantic exclusivity (see: Boston getting upset and jealous when Nick is with other people)#but physical stuff doesn't need to have the same exclusiveness for him and that's literally fine#idk i just wish that last conversation had been written slightly differently. a couple different wordings could have fixed it all for me#like if Nick had SAID ''i can't do a non-exclusive relationship but i hope you find someone someday who wants that with you''#that would have been fine#not ''i think you should be alone''#idk. just really sat wrong with me#lgbt drama#thai drama#theo.txt#100
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mentally preparing myself for a switch from cherik to chax if the mcu x-men follow the comics direction
id be very surprised if people actually did- on a massive scale- switch to 'chax' when the majority, even comic readers, still call magneto erik i'll be tbh elkjaeklj BUT its not impossible ... probably ..
tho part of that may In Fact be due to the fact some people haven't learned that name yet. For Sure if it were used in the mcu/cartoons it'd become more common knowledge but still, i think most people would just stick with 'cherik' for convenience/familiarity
#snap chats#'chax' just makes me think of flax seeds i dont think ill get used to it ever#tho its not like i havent seen it before where a fandom pretty quickly agrees to change the name of a ship name#a lot of people would prob stick to 'cherik' just for the fact its been here so long and its like. If It Aint Broke right#In Theory itd take a while to catch on is because 'max' is exclusive to the comics#BUT yeah if they started to introduce 'max' into the cartoons and especially the mcu theeeen maybe ?#theres also that 'max' is kiinda context sensitive? like magneto introduces himself to charles /as/ erik#if you were writing a fic/making art set before that name reveal to charles then. yk what i mean#but ig if you dont care too much about that type of thing then its Whatever time to maximize max and the sort#my ass thinking TOO MUCH about it we'll just have to see what happens. IF that even happens#it wouldnt be impossible to introduce 'max eisenhardt' into the mcu i just wonder how theyd go about it....
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zomg... the girls! Sketched out! And a few characters I never showed designs for! haha! I keep thinking about the beach, so this is their swimwear.
I hope to make a full fledged drawing for all of them soon~ then the guys~~
Some newbies are: Aura (blue!) Katya (Gold!) and more of Verra (Green!) We'll eventually see more about them as I draw more things and doodles.
#Because I realized I never drew the girls as much as I did the guys#I used to exclusively draw women until I figured out how to draw men... I then awoke drawing nudethaniel and speedo vincent#so we're reeling it back a little#Ryoko Kui said she draws her oc's outfits in modern times to see how the different characters would dress. I thought about it- it definitel#says a lot about your character!#Monica is REALLY tall. And muscular! with a strong ability! no wonder she's taken down armies! She doesn't care to swim much but will use#a rashguard to swim in.#Sera is copying her style a bit but thankfully owns an actual wetsuit. Feels like home considering how her aerodynamic armor is designed#Sonia is sonia. She seductively asks Vincent to help her put sunscreen on... Only to be met with an albinoid man's journey to sun poisoning#He eventually gets greased in sunscreen and aloe vera after what feels like hours of nagging him. (it was forty five minutes.) Sorry Sonia.#Some things cannot be changed. When he did eventually look at her body he laughed at her ass being out rather than think anything naughty.#Not girl Summer. Vincent did end up helping her with the sunscreen though. “Lmao you can't do this yourself or something?” ruined the magic#Karin tailored her swimwear. She bedazzles her arms with accessories <3 Her nail polish can detect drugs <3 & cyanide caps in her earring <#Poor Katya is a supermodel but is way too thin... Strohl doesn't say it.. But he's worried. She makes way too much money to want to quit.#Verra is in rabbit mode because her summon LOVES to swim and hey who is she to halt its fun?#Aura is pretty modest and prefers to meditate in the water or by the shore away from all of the roughhousing. Nate and Strohl join at time#They kind of freak out when she starts floating though. Or invoking the elementals of the seas. The guys are both areligious. Awkward.#Especially when the waves start to get a little rowdy minutes later. Strohl is torn between considering religion and asking for a tutorial.#ark_systema
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anyone else losing sleep over the fact that Cyrano spoke abt willingly sacrificing the chance of ever being happy someday, as long as he knew it would ensure the happiness of someone he loves, to both Roxane & Christian separately — & then had it ripped from him anyway before he was able to make that sacrifice, without ensuring a thing? yeah me neither
#Cyrano de Bergerac#quotations#theatre#French#langue et langage#analyses#characters#hey guess what. the word 'bonheur' comes up 5 times in this play. this is 4 of them#(the other one was Cyrano saying 'le bonheur est là !' right before he was abt to confess to Roxane at Arras.#his Happily Ever After was on his tongue then. he could taste it. & lost it for good in mere moments)#anyway I just think it's wild that it's almost exclusively Cyrano who uses this word in the whole play#& almost exclusively in the context of the death of his happiness. not like...being happy#ofc the boys in act IV aren't outright saying 'I would sacrifice my chance at happiness for you' the way Cyrano did to Roxane#but also...they basically are? 'how do you expect me to go on knowing I caused you to sacrifice your chance at happiness?'#OR RATHER '...knowing that you sacrificed your happiness for me?'#god. an OT3 would've saved so much of this tragedy#but none of these pretty heartfelt words mattered in the end anyway! it didn't matter whom Cyrano was going to sacrifice his happiness for!#bc it was ripped from him 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊#sorry king too slow use it or lose it#although I suppose he was sacrificing it for both of them by the end#he became rlly concerned w the idea that Christian know Roxane loves him#as much as he was concerned w keeping Roxane as happy as she could be in widowhood by keeping her husband's memory radiant#(even though all her rosiest memories of Christian were of Cyrano. as she told Christian at Arras much to his consternation)#((that whole weeping dialogue as she is dragged from Arras praising Christian. praising Cyrano.#& Cyrano is forced to accept the adoration the compliments the fact that she sees him in this light. & yet never claim it))#(((*ugly sobbing intensifies*)))
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everytime you post benefactor gman i get so happy... love she/her gman like that's my wife bro!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAAAH REAL, she's so silly to me
#asks are neat#Benefactor Gman#I literally just kinda. decided she went by she/her one day cause I think it fits Benefactor especially#I'll still refer to canon gman by she/her and any pronouns but Benefactor pretty much uses she/her exclusively to me.#I still think she wouldn't care if you used other pronouns but she might look at you a lil funny#Girlie found out she was technically transgender in the Vault. what a way to find out#I say technically since she was already genderless? But she used to be more masc-presenting i dunno#Rambling whoops
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I’ve been thinking abt one of my older oni colonies and decided to doodle my first three dupes in that save
#keese draws#oxygen not included#but yeah these guys were my main scientist digger and rancher respectively#this was one of my actual spaced out style saves so ofc I chose the cold asteroid still#it was painful opening this save again to look at their traits as it was basically my first longer attempt#let’s just say I had no idea what I was doing and ran out of power literally everywhere#might do a rescue attempt on this save tbh sounds like a fun challenge#but yeah I actually have characterizations for most of the dupes in this save in my head they’re like semi ocs to me#they’re the ones I like to imagine fumbling about post olivia entering sleep mode#cause there’d be such a harsh contrast in how they’d all react and move forwards#burt in particular would take it rly hard mostly because he’s the only scientist#so everyone ends up looking to him for answers and help and he just doesn’t know how to provide any of it#he had already spent so long feeling overworked and under appreciated so this wouldn’t help at all#quinn on the other hand is generally more optimistic as they have gone through a lot of rough shit and made it out on the other side#so they see this as an obstacle they’ll all overcome and grow stronger from#they’re also just very used to being suddenly forced to say goodbye to people for potentially forever#harold was almost relieved by the whole event because it lead to a lot less activity in the neural chip network#which is in fact a big source of panic for most of the dupes but harold pretty much exclusively goes to like 3 rooms so he’s not as effected#he also just doesn’t like the noise of the hundreds of commands that he can’t even follow#he just manages the plants and the pips and sometimes helps with the cooking#he honestly really likes the freedom of figuring out what to do without instruction#as the pip farm he manages is very. well let’s just say pips tend to starve in there a lot#yknow thankfully I did give these guys a bunch of phones so at least they’d be able to still know what’s up with eachother still#still an uncomfortable feeling loosing that connection that you’ve been relying on for years
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my billford obsessed 14 year old self would be having a field day in the tags rn but now that i'm older and have media literacy skills i just want to see theory stuff and meta analysis and shitposts i can never win
#i liked it before it was cool but now i don't so i can't even enjoy its popularity#i always reminisce on the old days of the fanbase when things felt more Normal but yknow what it used to be billdip posts every 10 seconds#so this is a definite improvement from that#but man there's just so much to talk abt right now but in classic fandom fashion you guys just want Men Kissing#sassy speaks#gf#anyways you guys have fun in there i'm not being the fun police here or anything#i just think it's funny that i liked it when there were like 4 ppl who liked it and now it's everywhere#like back in the day billford was pretty much exclusively used bc ppl were lusting after ford and wanted an excuse to draw him shirtless
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18.) describe your personal style? 19.) what was the last concept that inspired you?
1 for clothes i don't really wear fancy stuff just like, everything is either thrifted, gifted, or my dad's, all my jewerly is also my family's, i think my clothes = pretty masculine, my jewerly and fragrance choices = pretty much feminine (if we want to gender up stuff to make things simpler) since it's my mom and grandma's necklaces and women perfumes (i think the "aesthetic" that is closer to this is grunge? but i'm not sure also the concept of aesthetics is so limited, like sometimes i make some effort about my style choices some other times i just dress all black and basic and go out and thats it)
this comes close to it (skull and harley shirts are actual shirts of mine)
BUT i really want to start dressing more like this, like more preppy? basic? maybe i just want a leather jacket sorry + i want all the clothes alec mcdowell wears in dark angel everytime he's on screen i bite my hands
i also love this .. what is it like gorpecore? which is literally just romanticized trekking clothing but like i love love it
2 late medieval mysticism lol because i found a book about it
#and baggy#i'm ranting in the tags because i speak too much bear w me alright#pants = cargos or camos#i have a lot of jackets i usually layer up anyways i don't have much stuff i've been wearing the same#clothes since the first year of highschool (7 years ago) and i exclusively wear laceless shoes because i hate any other type of shoe#but also a lot of clothes are like#of famous brands because thats what you get if you go thrifting like yeah used clothes but sometimes#cool brands used clothes#sometimes i wear eye make up but like#really just like a little red eyeshadow(?) like a little red wing on the eye i don't know how to say it#i also dyed my hair every color ever but i like it best when its natural colors (ginger/black/brown (my natural color)#i actually love blonde hair i wish it suit me but i look weird w it#also thrifting means i own pretty much sports clothing like#puma#nike#things like that#thanks for asking me about clothes lmao
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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god, remember when the queen died.... i got to break the news to my family....... everyone was celebrating.... it was so fun.......
#not to say that i feel bad for her but like. ever think about how fucking bizarre and larger-than-life her whole life was.#she was born and spent her early childhood in ww2#and from the beginning she was groomed into being a figurehead and symbol of hope for a whole country.#apparently she was super weird socially. used the royal We pretty much exclusively even when she was speaking casually to friends and family#at least from what I've heard
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I'm really trying to understand. I know Joshua does take good pics but some of his pics are awful and they still get so much praise. I'm seeing comments "I know the pic is blurry but it fits Louis' tour aesthetics". Seriously? Is that the excuse now? "This pic looks like shit but it fits Louis' tour aesthetics". Since that pic Harry posted on IG that was super super blurry, which I think he was trying to make a point with. That fans don't control him. I thought Lloyd's pics have got better since. They show more of the audience. I really like his recent pics that show Harry and the audience. They give a vintage postcard kind of feel. Old school. But he's still being trashed as ever. Sometimes I'll see a pic and think... that's not that bad so surely they won't be trashing that. But they will be, always are. He can't do any right. But Joshua can't do any wrong. I think it could be partly because Joshua talks to the fans on twitter. So they feel 'closer' to him. They're still incredibly bitter about the iHeart? tour photography award going to Lloyd, while also saying that it means nothing. If it means nothing then why still so bitter? Why the desperate push to vote for Joshua? They say that Lloyd only won the award because of Harries. Well yes. If Joshua won the award it would be because of Louies and Larries. That's how fan voted awards go. If anyone does like Lloyd's pics they get insulted for having bad taste. They really despise Lloyd and they just don't stop complaining about him. Why is it always like this? That everyone Harry works with is hated by the fandom and everyone Louis works with is loved?
I'm sitting here, nodding my head as I read this like a goddamned kitsch toy dog on the dashboard of someone's bitchin' Camaro because yeah, YEAH. I have some thoughts about it that I'm sure I'm not all that articulate about, so I'll take it to the tags and let your ask just shine up here, uninterrupted yet fully appreciated
#a lot of my thoughts go on pure vibes and gut instinct vs. proof#so take it with a grain of salt#but there's SUCH a weirdness in the fandom reaction to harry's photographers vs. louis's when louis's admit they love and emulate harry's!#and i don't know if it's larries exclusively or if it's beyond that#with helene it was fucked up STRAIGHT UP misogyny from the larrie camp#super telling on so many levels and even more so because her pictures absolutely mirror his (see: his super artsy ig posts)#and the stuff she does professionally is so varied that it's even MORE telling when said people tried to say she was a shitty photographer#she's not--not even a little--and she outright said he picked the shots that she took that he loved the most and chose them to post#and that's true for both anthony and lloyd by the way: harry is looking for a certain aesthetic and they are providing it#and he is both paying them and selecting the pictures he likes best to share#if he thought they were awful--he'd fire 'em (just like he has with actual people in his band lol i kid)#i've long wondered if he is just so sick of the slick perfect idealized shots of himself that fans create and manipulate#shots that echo the manmade boybandness of it all#and he has his own eye for what he finds beautiful or interesting and it just merges in what he wants to represent himself#it's so FASCINATING it's multilayered and yet you STILL have these dumdums out there bitching about how much they hate lloyd#as if it's HIS fault his boss is pushing for a specific type of aesthetic--if you hate it take it up with his boss#and if you 'don't understand it' take it up with his boss#the fandom urge for this squeaky clean perfect image that absolutely matches simon cowell's for the same is mighty funny in a real venn way#me? i cannot fathom why you wouldn't want to see what a celeb is actually choosing to use to represent themselves#ESPECIALLY when it's not pretty-pret#and then to turn around and blow some smoke up the ass of someone who is doing the thing you HATE SO MUCH with your other fave#yet you have special stupid baby tags for it when it's someone else?#i don't think it's any subconcious hatred of louis or anything when it's from the biggies repping larr nation#but it's mighty curious when you have at least two photographers from louis's camp#doing the EXACT same thing as harry's photographers#and at least one of them citing at least one of his as an icon to emulate#yet....silence#and even worse this weirdo urge to push some kind of larrie interaction on joshua and lloyd#the fan-voted thing was extra funny to me on so many levels my god#i'll shut up now i've officially entered old man yells at cloud territory
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