#and that goes for most of the guys i know???? ALSO why do we get to only have like 3 haircuts?????
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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus
For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007)[finally got my hands on this one but I still need to watch it], Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985).
Today I will be watching
Imagine Me & You (2005) dir. Ol Parker
Summary: A newlywed bride becomes infatuated with another woman who questions her sexual orientation, promoting a stir among the bride's family and friends.
Cast: - Piper Parebo as Rachel - Lena Headey as Luce
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THIS SHIT WAS CUTE! I have never seen it before, despite seeing the cover for this film for years of my life. I expected it to be your standard romcom, and for the most part it was but to be quite honest, I was kind of surprised that they made Heck a genuinely good guy and therefore complicating the decision for Rachel to leave.
It’s strange for me in that this is the queer cinema syllabus, right? So you would think that I would focus more on the queer aspect of this story than anything else. Except, I kept getting hung up on how much I genuinely loved the portrayal of domesticity between Heck and Rachel. They made, to me, a believably happily married couple at the beginning, with her doing her makeup in the bathroom while Heck is peeing, them being in bed together passing sections of the newspaper back and forth, and honestly even with Heck not being concerned at all about Rachel renting a porn film and being genuinely interested and excited to sit down and watch it with her. Obviously for him, he thinks it’s more foreplay in to sex rather than Rachel exploring her own sexuality, but regardless I really liked those little moments.
Sure, Cooper is kind of a dick, and that at first would leave me to believe that Heck is kind of a dick. But he genuinely loves Rachel, and I did not expect to be so surprised that he knew that her favorite flowers were lilies (maybe that’s unfair towards heterosexual men in romcoms on my part but) and that he never really thought about the fact that Luce might be in love with Rachel. Which I also appreciate from the perspective of, say, Cooper who immediately figures it out and goes to harass Luce about it.
I love the little romance moments between Luce and Rachel, the way Rachel is thinking about touching Luce during the school presentation, and the way that she responds to Luce touching her diaphragm during the football/soccer game. I like that it is Rachel that makes the decision to initiate the kiss, and I understand why after listening to the conversation that Luce and Heck have that she would want to cut off contact with Luce and try to maintain the life that she has with Heck. Heck and Rachel both have a lot to lose, and Rachel and Luce both know that there is a really wonderful guy here that they are or will be hurting by following their feelings.
I was really happy that Heck decided the right thing to do was to let Rachel go. I’m glad that we got that little epilogue during the credits to see that he will in fact meet someone else, and that Rachel and Luce are still happy.
And also, in a kind of tangent, I wanted to commend the writing of the parents in this film. The way all three of them were written made the personalities of the children (meaning Rachel, H, and Luce) very identifiable and their connection to each other believable. I loved the honesty that Rachel’s dad spoke with and the way that Rachel’s mom looked genuinely surprised and hurt that her husband felt like she was just tolerating him and that she would leave him the second she found a better offer.
And shout out to city living for inventing traffic and making sure that Luce couldn’t run away.
Favorite Moment
My favorite moment is honestly when H goes by herself to check on Heck and make sure that he is doing okay. That she sits there with him, and lets him cry, and brings him candy is such a lovely, caring thing to do and I appreciate that she recognized that in all the excitement to get Rachel to reunite with Luce that H was probably hurting and needing people in his corner too. I think it speaks a lot to the way they wrote H’s character too, that she is a little girl who asks too many questions despite knowing that her family gets annoyed at everything she wants to know and who is pawned off to Luce the second that Luce humors any question that makes her the exactly correct character to think about the forgotten person in all of this.
Favorite Quote
“Don’t forget me.” “I won’t remember anything else.”
Such a tragic fucking line.
Score
8.5/10
I do not have any major complaints about this film. Sure there was homophobia written in it but that was definitely and obviously intentional and also I loved how the different moments of intimacy were interrupted. First by Michael and Michael which…lmfao of course. Secondly by rose thorns to the ass because what else do you think is going to happen when you make out in a flower shop? Also, I know I keep saying names of actresses and stuff but like…thank you to the casting director for making sure that there is at least one film out there with Lena Headey being gay as hell.
#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus#queer cinema syllabus#unit 5: lesbians#imagine me & you#imagine me and you
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Wind and Truth thoughts under the cut
Spoilers for the entire book.
-Oof. The ending. I will come back to that, but its first up because its overshadowing everything else like a giant storm cloud. - :( speaking of. Goddamn it, I liked the Stormfather.
-I want to note, right here, that I still do not trust Szeth to make a single good decision. I don't think he should be the law. I hope he goes back to sheep farming and has no power over anyone ever.
-Interestingly, I like Nale better after this book. He was just a terrifying figure before, but now he's interesting as a person too. (He's still scary)
-What The Fuck Was With Moash Getting Spiked? As a devoted Marsh fan, I am against spiking in general. I have no words about how much I do Not like Moash being crystal spiked.
(side note: I think I dislike Moash properly now. Yes, the guy has some points, but.... he continued even with his own emotions. Attacking bridge 4. That's.... thats too far for me. If he'd decided to fight anyone Except bridge 4 I could have dealt with that)
-Saw that Gav was being prepped to hate Dalinar. Was still as tricked as Navani.
-So. We meet Auxiliary and learn what the fuck with Sigzil. I still don't like the Sunlit Man as a book and it coloured how I viewed the Shattered Plains fight here. I do like Aux.
-I trust Ishar even less than Szeth, therapy or no
-I really enjoyed the flashbacks in the spiritual realm. I loved getting all the gaps filled in, finally. (Or most of them anyway.) Also it just felt like WoK in vibes in a way that I just really appreciated.
-Appreciated the trick with Venli on the Shattered Plains. Not... Hmm. Not sure it matters anymore though. We'll see.
-I particularly liked the Interludes here. I remember those took me a while to get used to back in WoK.
-Had seen enough theories to be unsurprised about Shallan's mother being Chana, but I doubt I'd have thought of it myself
-Formless wasn't there! I thought that was off, because Shallan never fully manifested her, but still didn't clock it. I do love that. There's always details in Sanderson's books that I just don't see coming.
-Jasnah's povs... I just didn't like them. Can't quite put my finger on why, but she shouldn't have played by Taravangian's rules in the first place. She lost, but I don't feel like she lost in the way she thinks she did. I hate her lack of flexible thinking and nuance from someone who is supposed to be a good scholar. I liked her better in WoK Prime. We'll see how her book is, years from now.
-Renarin and Rlain's pov's were another real highlight. I was worried about this one, because Branderson - bless his mormon socks - can be as hamhanded as Dalinar sometimes. But this was just very well handled in my opinion. In character, not forced, and remarkably relevant to the overall plot. Nice.
-I should have known as soon as Adolin wanted to see Dalinar again that he wouldn't. That was a major hint.
-Ah shit I should get to Dalinar.
-That could be its own post.
-Kaladin first then. I.... didn't want that for him. In any way. I could see it coming - because fuck knows it couldn't be Szeth and once these ideas are raised something has to happen. But still. Its not good for anyone and I can only hope its more temporary this time. Yes, he gets a bit of a break. No, he has no friends with him. Poor guy.
-All right. Dalinar.
-I have been angry at Dalinar since Oathbringer. I think he's a good character! But yikes. I mean all of the Blackthorn behaviour, not only Evi.
-I did not want him to be Honor.
(actually I don't think I want Anyone to pick up Shards)
-Hey, he's not Honor, though. Anymore.
-INSTEAD TARAVANGIAN IS!! HEY WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
-Cultivation can try to flee all she likes this is still her fault.
-Taravangian of all people.
-It was a Good Ending, its also terrifying for Roshar in the short term - but better in the long term! - and the cosmere in general
-Odium needed to be freed from Roshar, for all the reasons thrown at us readers with all the delicacy of a chull in a china shop in those last few chapters (read fond exasperation here, I Got It The First Few Times)(last few chapters of YatNP were similar)
-Retribution is a little More than just freeing Odium.
-That said; It could never be as simple as one side winning the contest and I'm glad it wasn't. That would've disappointed me.
-So no more Stormlight in the Stormlight Archives?? Well, we'll see.
-And Dalinar is gone. I am sorry for it. It was going to happen in some way or other (I'm not sure taking up a Shard counts as surviving)(I'm not sure being bound to serve Odium would count either). But... I am sorry for it. I'll miss him.
#Wind and Truth#Wind and Truth spoilers#Wind and Truth thoughts#WaT spoilers#please note that I've finally learnt how to spell Taravangian#it only took 5 books#stormlight archive spoilers#there are more thoughts but this is already long enough
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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also i don't know how to say in a normal way that the crocomom theory is actually so special and important to me and i carry that hc around like a small baby bird like i know it makes the stuff in alabasta Worse but god it would be soooooo fucking cool to see something as ubiquitous as one piece say that guys can carry children and it's No Big Deal, Actually and it's certainly not mutually exclusive with being a man and also trans guys can be over eight feet tall, built like a brick shithouse, and just plain fucking scary .
#silver jelly#one pieceblogging#WITH LONG HAIR TOO .#like sorry i'm just so BORED of the waifish naive smol transmasc imagery;; i'm 75% closer to croc's masculinity than any of that#and that goes for most of the guys i know???? ALSO why do we get to only have like 3 haircuts?????#ALSO THE AGE THING like hjfmbgfjb let us be middle aged lmao !!!#i don't NEED oda to give me this like I'll still hc it anyway but it would be so juicy and real !!!#crocodickblogging
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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The problem with a lot of body horror for me is it's just gross without being compelling
Like yeah you had that person tear their leg open and pull muscle away from bone in a way that's very uncomfortable... but I don't care. Or a lot of Hostel style horror for me it's just kinda... yeah... grossing me out isn't some kinda win
Cause it's not that I don't like body horror, I love Dead Space for instance which... kinda the core pillar of that is body horror if we're honest
Could be a matter of that that kind of body horror is more fantastic making it easier to digest, I will advance that as a theory, but personally I kinda think that it's more that they do something actually interesting with it
Like if I wanted to I could probably see a really fucked up leg wound (and worse) in looking online about this shitty world
Can't really find dead bodies contorted into killing machines though
So I kinda feel like it's my problem with a lot of horror, of that it's horrible in a mundane way where as I'm looking for some unfathomable secret out of horror
So there's a difference between some stabbing a person in the eye cause they're just a shitty person, and doing it to try and create a replica of an alien artifact that gives unlimited energy but also drives people crazy and then turns their bodies into horrible monstrosities
One is just way more interesting to me
#also most of that shit looked stupid and goofy and like bad cgi#like yeah you managed to make some brutal looking stuff; congratz; I don't care about that#but the actual monster stuff you did just looked silly#bleh... glad I skipped my way through out of 10 kinda horror movie (ie almost every horror movie)#the only problem with Dead Space is that I can't play it cause ammo management stresses me the fuck out#you'd think it's because it's too scary#but no; it's cause it brings out my perfectionist where I need to make every shot hit perfectly#I don't do well with scarcity; too much in my own life#which means I don't do well with horror because by necessity things are scarce cause otherwise that's just a power fantasy#but also! it's hard for me to watch stuff like that cause I get bored real easily of watching people meander#also I don't want them talking#basically what I need to find is somebody that... let's be honest; that's a cinematic artist#knows how to collect everything with good pacing; knows how to win without making it too easy#this is my curse with Dead Space; in many ways it's one of my favorite bits of horror in the world#and yet I can hardly interact with it cause of how my brain is#maybe the real Dead Space was the dysfunctions we had along t he way#but nah... too much horror is screamy backrooms; not enough is MyHouse.wad (or whatever the Doom extension is)#which... is another thing I'll never play; but I got lucky and found a video that really nailed what I needed it to#which is funny cause I don't really enjoy anything else on the guy's channel; mostly cause he covers analog horror which...#I so want to like analog horror; but I never do; it always feels so bland#all of it has sparks of brilliance but then goes way too silly with it#horror is one of my favorite genre's; which is I guess why I hate all of it so much and I'm so so so so so so so picky#legit part of my problem is there's a very real extent to which I feel like 'if it doesn't drive me literally insane; what's the point?'#like; 'if I don't have a literal break with reality and become infested by madness from another world; is it even horror?'#which I gotta be honest; if it actually happened I wouldn't enjoy that much#I want some unknowable truth... horror makes me hungry for something I can't put my finger on#like a memory long since passed#but there's stuff I do end up liking and end up thinking is effective#mm tag so i can find things later
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edit : i'm sorry but this post is messy i don't like how this is the ramble that got the most attention shhffs please check out the addendum in the reblogs if you want a more clearer analysis
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FIRST OF ALL the thing about the paint huffing - Other than that it's funny - is that we were getting ragatha at her most honest . she's more reflective and reveals her mind more which is a Lot considering that she has shown herself to be a people pleaser trying to avoid conflict . this is Literally The Last thing she wants
and honestly it would be fun to see the fallout of this in episode 5 when she would inevitably sober up and be Mortified about that fact considering she said This to gangle here
like . interesting ragatha . is that why you Do Not Stop Jax when he goes to bully gangle . other than not wanting him to hate you you also prefer it if gangle is in her tragedy state . is that it . Is That It -
also you guys don't know how much i fucking screamed at these scenes okay . there's nothing i love more than nice characters that show their less than desirable traits . my favorite thing about ragatha is not that she's a sweetheart but that she's Dishonest . even to the point that gangle mentions it in her talk with pomni
like my ongoing theory right now for the ' evil ragatha ' comment gooseworx made for episode 5 is that ragatha's going to say or do the Most Morally Ambiguous thing possible that will send the entire fandom on fire . like we're talking Arguments on whether she's in the right or wrong Even though this is a show that invites nuance instead of black and white views , and it'll be so fucking marvelous to witness
NOW . i really don't think she's faking being nice ! i believe with all my heart that ragatha's inherently Good and i will throw hands at anyone who thinks otherwise . it's just that she's just Repressing What She Thinks About The Others because , again , Avoiding Conflict ! which is shown by how annoyed she got with pomni talking to gummigoo ( gayass ) , what she said to gangle , and what she said to zooble
yes i screamed about the toybox interaction i knew that ragatha was going to not like zooble's grouchiness But I Digress .
all of this is interesting because . again , ragatha's a people pleaser trying to avoid conflict . i think her reasons for being nice and helpful are both selfless and selfish . selfless - she doesn't want anyone to go through the stress and pain of feeling alone , and selfish - she doesn't want anyone to hate her . they're like a smoothie , she's not one or the other . it's just that the latter reason ... has a lot more influences on her thought processes than she'd like to admit .
and that's showcased if you look at episode 2 with her conversation with kinger . she was worried about pomni going through something traumatizing , yes , but she added that she thinks pomni doesn't like her that much . which . it's a small piece of dialogue but it really shows how much ragatha's Gripping That Fucking Fawn Response . yes , her concern is everyone's wellbeing , but she also Would Not Like It If Anyone Hates Her , to the point that it'll stick to her . and she'll try So Hard to compensate for it .
like . she is really a nice person but she's dishonest because she doesn't want to be hated which is very much a selfish reason . she's falling into that pitfall of ' a friend to all is a friend to none ' . argh . why is she so complicated god i'm going to put her in that deepfryer again
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i have a fever. let's imagine pokemon world dash discourse together. (sorry i do not have darkmode.)
🤳🏻 pokestopit reblogged team-sprocket
👻 gengaydar Follow
For the last fucking time owning a gengar is NOT graverobbing. what is actually wrong with you people
#gengar #why am i even still on this site #i don't have a gengar but like. what's even going on over there #is marowak graverobbing now too??
💅 deerlinguist reblogged givemeyourstrongestpotion
👩❤️👩 lightscreend Follow
farfetch'd is like the most edible pokemon just because he comes with his own aromatics. pop that bad boy in the oven with some oran berries.... don't mind if i do
⚧ feministforcepalm Follow
@dyketraining tags pass peer review
🚣🏼♂️ magicarpaltunnel reblogged haxorsus
🐦⬛ corvikite Follow
I love to hate things and people. And when I turn out to be RIGHT and that person is a DICK? All parasocial relationships are bad and evil unless I am right about hating someone and then parasocial relationships are good actually
🪐waterbubbil Follow
We all thought about the same person let's just be honest here....
🎀 contest-winrar Follow
For me it's always going to be people who keep Pokémon without any thought as to their enrichment and needs. You do not need a fucking Arcanine, you live in a studio apartment and don't walk more than a block a day. You think you want a Gardevoir but are you okay with having an unknowable creature reading your thoughts every waking moment of the day? Even while you do... the nasty?
It drives me crazy because people see a Champion and think they have the time, energy, money, and space necessary to raise a Dragon type. Unless you have generational wealth, let me spell it out for you: you do not have the funds for a Dragon type. And yes! Charizard is on that list, guys! You can't even afford to feed yourself!
📯 jessiejustlickme Follow
local tumblr user declares the poors only get rat pokemon. maybe a bug pokémon if we are very good. we must grovel in the streets amen
🎀 contest-winrar Follow
Laugh all you want but I'm serious. I have heard of someone who is living with a MR. MIME like it's her HUSBAND!!!! That's fucking GROSS. These are creatures that TRUST us and NEED us.
Did you know that most Ponyta prefer to be in a herd? Are you going to have the space for that? Did you know that if you don't properly care for certain fire species their flame goes out? Sure, they're cute when they're small: but unless you're a rancher or a Gym Leader... I'm sorry. You're gross to me if you think otherwise. I hate people like that.
And for the record, rat and bug Pokémon are very valuable from an ecological standpoint. They hold an extremely important niche. People like you would rather they be hunted to extinction because they're pests, not pretty. It's disgusting.
🐦⬛ corvikite Follow
anybody in this thread smoke weed
#NOT THE RATS FOR THE POOR PEOPLE... GIRLLLLLL #the thing is they're not like... wrong.... #like i agree with the sentiment #my friend tried to get a slyveon just by like. playing catch a few times #.... like you do need to try.... #also fyi i have a large species so i'm biased #grovyle my baby . my man. u are costing me like so much in pokepuffs per month
👁🗨 badsol
why are we all talking about what pokemon to eat tonight lmafo
#.... obviously jigglypuff. homegirl is 90% cotton candy
🪅 feebassguitar reblogged metrognome
🫖 sinisteacher Follow
Like okay I got into science because I love to learn but the more I find out about how we've classified Pokémon types the more insane I feel. What do you mean there's no singular true indicator? What do you mean that there are several conditions which completely alter their base type?
Literally today my lab partner and I got into a very serious discussion about Luxray. That thing is a fuckking dark type!!!!! I'm sorry!!! I don't care what Bulbapedia says!!!! anyway i threw a pokeball at him and it swallowed him whole and now i'm going to jail for unlawful imprisonment of a TA
🍙 thesandwichking Follow
there's something, like, very dystopian about the idea that if u put an ugly hat on ur favorite little creature it changes like. the DNA. like. do other pokemon look at what you've done and cower? that's their friend... similar but changed... forever having known a life that is entirely alien to them...
🐳 wailordsupreme Follow
.... Are we going to ignore that OP swallowed a human into a ball???
#yes we are. #my friend loves those hats but I think they're so ugly #and stupid #if i wanted a specific type imma get that type..... #typesetting #show james
🧗♀️ backpacksandcavesnacks reblogged eevee-lotion
👑 lemmegrabmyballs Follow
ROUND 5 of 6 (see blog for more)
PLEASE REBLOG FOR VISIBILITY:
✍️ dreepydrabbles reblogged ash-hole
☠️ marrowhackoff Follow
just saw someone say writing omegaverse fanfic of your pokemon is bestiality. ma'am this is the monster fucking site. you should be grateful that it's only omegaverse.
#the things i've seen would melt your eyebrows clean off your face #..... typhlosion they could never make me hate you baby #i know that's not what's in your heart
🪽 honey-tree-skies reblogged gymcrawler
🐛 youngstirjoey Follow
Okay say what you will. But shorts really are comfy and easy to wear
🛀🏽 intimidatecutsyourattack Follow
Sorry bud. But. Investing at 3 notes
🐛 youngstirjoey Follow
don't do this to me. i h avue a wife . and chi ld
#anyway. sorry. it's 1:30 in the morning and the Vibes possessed me.#pokemon#dash simulator#i don't have mobile i hope it still looks good lol#this took me like 3 hours#slightly edited to account for a glitch in spacing
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I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”
so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing
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Scar
Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought
Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words
Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.
His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)
Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)
Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people
Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)
His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is
Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments
That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (���I will murder them.”)
References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)
Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”
(More under the cut!)
Grian
Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)
Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)
Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)
Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)
Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot
Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)
Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”
Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired
Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“
This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it
Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)
Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)
Mumbo
The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)
Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks
Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing
Gets very distracted with the smallest things
Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)
His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking
A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless
Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building
Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)
Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)
Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)
Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”
Joel
Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”
He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)
Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))
His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)
Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name
His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes
This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes
Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height
Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)
Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)
His most often used insult is “idiot”
When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)
Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”
Bdubs
Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host
Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds
Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”
Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)
Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms
Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)
Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)
THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard
Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)
Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens
Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone
Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”
Number one exclamation is “HEY!”
#feel free to add on with other hermits!#sorry if this is so scatterbrained this is how i write my notes 😭#meraki post#hermitcraft fic#??#ref#hermitcraft#scar#goodtimeswithscar#grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#mumbo#mumbojumbo#bdubs#bdoubleo100#dialogue ref#writing dialogue
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— 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ?
➺ PAIRING: lee heeseung x female reader
➺ GENRE: stepbrother au, smut
➺ SUMMARY: the story of how your stepbrother’s girlfriend realizes her boyfriend has never really been hers.
➺ CW/TW: stepcest, infidelity, possessiveness, heeseung can lift reader, cucking kink, voyeurism, masturbation (f), oral sex (f), fingering, face sitting, unprotected sex, creampies
➺ WC: 4.6k
NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.
A lot of people find your relationship with your stepbrother cute. How could they not? He’s always so doting and protective like a real brother would be. In spite of being only slightly older, Heeseung takes on a very important role in your life. He constantly goes out of his way to take care of you, making sure you have anything you could possibly need.
Heeseung’s girlfriend never thought too much about the relationship between you two. It was natural that he took the naive college freshman under his wing and constantly had you by his side. Mina found it endearing, actually. The way he worried about you like a mother hen who wasn’t ready for her young chick to go into the world alone is adorable and a good sign. After dating so many inconsiderate losers, she thinks she’s finally chosen the right guy.
But somewhere along the way, Mina starts to grow tired of it. Time has gone by, and you’re no longer a naive freshman who can’t get around without her boyfriend’s help. Of course family is important, but it’s not like you’re entirely helpless. And yet, that’s exactly the way Heeseung acts. He’s always ready to drop everything when you need him. On several humiliating occasions, he’s even left her half naked on his bed just to go to you because you bought something you couldn’t figure out how to put together, or because you wanted to hang out with him.
It’s hard for Mina to admit that she’s a little jealous. Especially because it all seems so ridiculous. There’s no way her boyfriend actually wants you like that. But as time goes on, she thinks that maybe she’s not all that crazy. Especially with the affectionate way her boyfriend looks at you. Despite all this, Mina doesn’t say anything. At least, not until Heeseung starts to bring you along to what were meant to be dates.
“Babe, why do you keep bringing your stepsister? i thought we were going on a date?” It’s hard for her to not sound bitter and annoyed.
“Her roommate is going to visit her parents, and I don’t want Y/N to be alone.” His tone is kind and gentle like always, but it’s also firm and leaves no room for arguments.
What’s worse is that Mina can’t bring herself to hate or blame you. In a way, she understands why her boyfriend is always so concerned about you. You’re so nice and trusting that it would be way too easy for someone to take advantage of that. There’s also the fact that you’ve been more than willing to let them have some alone time, but Heeseung never lets you leave.
It’s all so strange and frustrating that Mina feels like she has to take matters into her own hands. So she does.
The key to Heeseung letting you go is getting you a boyfriend—or at least getting you to start dating. It’s easy enough to find a guy who’s interested in you. That’s never been a problem for you, and all it takes is her showing your picture to the cute guy in her communications class for her plan to fall into place. As luck would have it, you’re also into meeting the guy and going out with him.
Little did Mina know, setting you up with him would be a mistake that would cost her everything.
On the night you’re meant to meet up with her classmate, Mina excitedly goes to her boyfriend’s apartment. It’s been a long time since she got to be alone with Heeseung, and she was going to make the most of it.
She’s dressed in tiny tank top and a cute little skirt that Heeseung loves—it barely hides the lingerie she’s wearing underneath. Mina quietly lets herself into her boyfriend’s apartment using her spare key. Quietly, she tiptoes to his room only to find the door wide open. What she doesn’t expect is to find you sitting on his the edge of bed while Heeseung kneels in front of you.
Mina feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on her as his pretty hands rub your soft thighs. You look incredible, clad in a cute little dress with your makeup and hair done to perfection. It’s a mistake for Mina to keep watching, but she can’t find her voice at the moment.
“Seungie, what’s wrong?”
God, Mina hates that you call him that. Mostly because she can tell how much Heeseung likes it.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out to meet some guy?” Heeseung sounds almost venomous, but it’s like you don’t hear it. “Who is he? How’d you meet him?”
You tilt your head, pretty lips pulled down in a confused frown. “Didn’t Mina tell you? She set me up with a guy from her class. He’s really cute!”
A chill goes down Mina’s spine. She can see Heeseung’s back tense when you tell him how your date came to be. The air feels almost murderous as he gently squeezes your thighs.
It kills Heeseung that he was almost too late in stopping you from meeting some strange guy in the pretty little dress you have on. He softly rubs your thighs, eyes simmering with anger and desire he doesn’t care to hide. Not anymore.
“Oh, angel.” Your stepbrother murmurs, hands slowly trailing up to your thighs. “You know you’re my favorite girl, right?”
An unsuspecting smile graces your lips. “Yeah. And you’re my favorite guy.”
Heeseung hums in satisfaction as his fingers ghost the edges of your dress. He watches your eyebrows furrow, but you don’t say anything. As always, you have blind trust in your stepbrother. That’s all the indication he needs to get up and push you down on his bed. Heeseung hovers over you, loving how you’re staring up at him with sparkling, wide eyes. He swoops down to capture your lips in a searing kiss.
Your heart is racing in your chest as Heeseung forces his tongue into your mouth. Despite the initial shock, you quickly melt into the kiss. He swallows your moans, pulling you closer as he deepens the messy kiss. You mewl into his mouth, carding your fingers through his hair with desire you had never realized you had for him.
Meanwhile, Mina can only watch as her boyfriend kisses you with a passion that he clearly never felt for her. It feels like her heart is ripping in half as Heeseung begins to undress you. Tears well up in her eyes when he groans at the sight of the lingerie adorning your body. Mina can see how hard he is from where she’s standing, and the desire in his eyes is very different from the way he looks at her.
“Can’t believe you got all pretty for some other boy.” Heeseung spits as he starts to undress. “Were planning on letting him fuck you?”
You shake your head and go to speak, but you can’t when Heeseung roughly pulls off your lingerie then his own underwear. His cock is thick and big, possibly the biggest you’ve ever seen. It’s twitching and leaking as he looks at you with his dark eyes.
“W-We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whine as Heeseung shoves your thighs to your stomach and licks a broad stripe up your wet pussy.
Your stepbrother groans at your sweet taste, thrusting his tongue into your dripping hole. He laps up the juices leaking out of your slit, circling his tongue on your clit for good measure. The noise you let out is downright pornographic and pure music to Heeseung’s ears.
“Seungie!” You keen as you spread your legs and tangle your hands in his messy hair. “I– Fuck!”
Heeseung pulls back with a wet slurp to spread your cunt open with his big hands. “God. You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, angel. Just had to taste it.”
Each one of his words is like a dagger to Mina’s heart and confidence. Wet tears trickle down her face, but she doesn’t say anything as you pull on her boyfriend’s hair. Heeseung only moans and dives back into your slick cunt. He greedily laps up everything that drips out of you, sucking and kissing your clit.
“We shouldn’t be doing this, Hee.” You repeat through a needy mewl, making no attempt to stop him. In fact, you buck your pussy into his mouth as he sucks on your sensitive bud.
“Shh, angel.” Heeseung shushes as he flicks his tongue across your swollen bud. “Just relax and let me eat you out. Been wanting to do this for so long.”
Mina swallows thickly, the hurt slowly being replaced by something else. Her eyes grow bigger when she realizes which feeling is taking over. She shifts slightly, feeling a familiar wetness begin to pool in her panties. Mina feels sick that the sight of her boyfriend cheating on her can turn her on, and she thinks that she should leave right now and never return.
But she stays.
Mina licks her lips and continues to watch. Even she can’t help but think how hot you look, whimpering and writhing as Heeseung pushes your thighs apart so he can bury his face deeper in your pussy. He flicks his tongue, slowly descending until he’s lapping at your hole, slowly fucking the wet muscle in and out. Your eyes roll back as your stepbrother eats your pussy like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
The sounds coming from your pussy and the way Heeseung messily eats you out has Mina’s own cunt clenching with need. She can feel her underwear start to stick to her cunt as she watches her boyfriend lap up your arousal like a starved man. Mina bites her lip, feeling sick and twisted for being turned on by your pretty moans.
Heeseung suddenly pulls away, but not before he slaps your thigh playfully. He goes to lay on his back all while wearing a filthy smirk. “Sit on my face.”
You bite your lip as a hot flash of arousal pulses through your body. Both your and Mina’s cunts throb at the suggestion. Heeseung sees your hesitation, but doesn’t back down.
“C’mon, baby. Be a good little stepsister and ride my fucking face.” He growls out with dark eyes.
With your pussy dripping, you crawl over to him and kneel over his face. Mina watches with heated eyes as you slowly lower your cunt on her boyfriend’s face. The heat in her stomach grows when she hears Heeseung groan in satisfaction.
“That’s it. I want your pretty pussy suffocating me.”
With that, your stepbrother grabs your hips and pulls your cunt down onto his face with a groan. Mewling quietly, you rub your cunt all over his mouth. Every time he moans or grunts, it sends little vibrations through your pussy. The delicious feeling has you grinding down on his tongue as you chase that feeling. Heeseung eagerly fucks his wet muscle into your hot cunt, already addicted to your sweet taste.
Mina swallows thickly when he sees Heeseung thrusting into the air as he eats you out. His cock is leaking and throbbing with need. Fuck. How she’d like to go and lick all that up, to have him fuck her mouth as he fucks you with his tongue. Mina rubs her thighs to soothe the growing ache in her pussy as she watches you ride Heeseung’s face.
Your eyes roll back when your stepbrother slaps your ass. A loud squeal spills from your lips as Heeseung keeps fucking his tongue up into your cunt. He grabs your ass and kneads it roughly. With one last groan and flick of his tongue, he sits up and takes you with him. The effortless display of strength turns both women on, one containing her moan while the other cries out as she’s pressed back into the mattress.
“Such a sweet little cunt.” Heeseung moans as he buries his face back into your dripping cunt. “Shit, Y/N. You’re fucking soaked down here.”
“Heeseung!” You cry out as he pries your thighs further apart. Your stepbrother shakes his head to grind his tongue against your sensitive cunt.
“Fuck, you have the hottest little pussy.” Heeseung lifts his head with a groan, lips shiny with your arousal. “Missed eating some good pussy. It’s been so long.”
Mina feels pathetic that her cunt throbs at his degrading words. She bites her lip, hands trailing up her thigh and to her soaked underwear. It’s so filthy and humiliating, but the ache in her pussy is getting to be too much. She slowly rubs circles on her covered cunt as she keeps watching her boyfriend cheat on her.
“Fuck, Seungie.” You mewl desperately. “S-Shouldn’t like having your face buried in my cunt.”
Heeseung smirks into your wetness. He gently circles his tongue on your clit, kissing it tenderly before he gently starts to nip at it with his teeth. Mina shoves her panties aside when you moan out in pleasure. Now she’s furiously rubbing at her bare pussy, wanting to see you cum on her boyfriend’s face.
“But you do, baby. You like me fucking you with my tongue, and I fucking love eating this sweet little pussy.”
Your hips buck up at the words, grinding your cunt against his mouth as you moan for him. Juices drip out of you lewdly, leaking down to your ass and onto Heeseung’s sheets. Your head is swimming with pleasure, and you have to remember that this is all so very wrong.
“You like that?” Heeseung teases you, loving how you’ve turned into putty in his hands. “Answer me, Y/N. Do you like your stepbrother telling you how much he loves tasting your juicy cunt?”
Your back arches when Heeseung sucks your puffy bud into his mouth. “God—yes! Feels so fucking good, Hee! Love having your mouth on my pussy.”
Heeseung growls, the vibrations making your cunt throb as he sucks and licks your swollen clit. Eager to have you cum on his tongue, he slips two fingers into your fluttering hole. Mina follows in suit, unable to take her eyes off the erotic sight of you getting ate out and fingered. Fuck. This was better than any porn she had ever watched. Her hand is dripping with her own arousal, and she can’t even feel disgusted anymore that she’s so turned on by the entire situation.
“Mmmh, shit, Hee.” You whine as the tips of his fingers brush against the gummy spot inside you. “You’re gonna make me cum.”
“Do it, baby. Cream all over my tongue.” He purrs in delight. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”
Heeseung flattens his tongue on your clit while his fingers grind into the spongy spot in your cunt. Your back arches off the bed, orgasm whiting out your thoughts as you cum around his long fingers.
Mina has to cover her mouth as Heeseung moans along with you. By now she’s shoved her fingers into her sopping pussy, the squelching sound is drowned out from the sounds coming from your own pussy. The filthy sight is driving her wild, and she’s so delirious with arousal that she wishes Heeseung would just fuck you already.
“You’re amazing, angel.” Your stepbrother praises with his fingers still buried knuckle deep in your pussy as he softly strokes your velvety walls. “So soft and wet. It makes me want to shove my dick into your tight little hole.”
Heeseung slowly pulls his fingers out of you, and you can only watched with a lidded gaze as he moves his body between your thighs. His cock is twitching and leaking as he grabs the base. He smacks his cock down on your slippery pussy, dragging his drooling tip up and down your slit slowly. Mina has to press her hand into her mouth harder to stifle her filthy moans. The sight of her boyfriend pressing his drooling cockhead into your soaking pussy is so hot she might just cum all over her fingers.
“S-Seungie—fuck. We shouldn’t.” You whimper as he leans forward and braces his arms by your head.
You and Mina both know you don’t really mean your words. It’s clear that you want your stepbrother to split you open on his big cock. That becomes obvious when you don’t try to stop him as he shoves his cock into your pussy until he bottoms out completely, balls pressing against your ass. Shuddering with pleasure, you scratch your nails up his arms as you sink into the bed.
“Pretty pussy was meant to take my cock.” Heeseung growls, already drunk on the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his dick. “Fuck. I know it’s wrong, baby, but I just couldn’t help myself. Your hot little cunt was just begging for my dick. Doesn’t it feel all nice and full having your pussy stuffed with your stepbrother’s big cock?"
Mina starts fucking herself harder when you nod desperately. Your hands go to tangle in his hair as you grind your hips up to meet his thrusts. “Yes! Fuck! Love my stepbrother’s cock stretching me open! Feels so fucking good, Hee!”
Mina knows better than anyone how good you must feel. Although, she imagines you feel must better than she ever did because from the way Heeseung’s fucking you, she can tell he’s doing it with much more enthusiasm and passion. Even his moans are more guttural and full of more pleasure than she’d ever heard. They’re deep as he pulls out until just his tip is spearing you open. Then, he pushes forward, thrusting his cock deep into your fluttering walls.
“That’s it. Tell me how good it feels.” Heeseung leans down, lips brushing against yours. “Don’t be shy, angel. Let me know how much you like this cock fucking you.”
You gasp wantonly and pull him down further to press your lips together. He groans and licks into your mouth easily, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock thrusts deep into your hot, wet cunt. Your hips buck up to meet his, loving how his dick rams into your sweet spot over and over until your sight is painted with pretty little stars.
“Fucking love it, Hee.” You moan between sloppy kisses. “God—I love your cock!”
The coil in Mina’s stomach is close to snapping. By now, her juices are dripping down to her wrist. Luckily, the lewd squelching and sound of skin slapping together drown out any noise she’s making. Heeseung is fucking you so hard and good that she can smell the musky scent of sex from where she’s standing. The erotic aroma turns her on even more, pussy clamping down on her fingers in desperate need of release.
“Tight little pussy feels so good.” Heeseung moans out between the quick pecks he’s giving you. “God, I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”
Your heart races as Mina’s breaks all over again. It hurts, but somehow that just turns her on even more. She keeps fingering herself as tears pool in her eyes.
With a low moan, your pussy clamps down on Heeseung’s dick tightly as you go to eagerly kiss him. A soft I love you, too goes unnoticed by Mina, but not by your stepbrother. He groans into your mouth, cock throbbing inside you.
“Mmmh.” Heeseung hums against your lips before he trails wet kisses down your neck. “I love my gorgeous girl. That’s why this feels so good. Even your tight little pussy knows how much I love you.”
His gorgeous girl? Mina thinks deliriously, orgasm dangerously close. It’s something he never referred to her as.
You cry out loudly when Heeseung bites your neck and sucks the skin into his mouth. His hips rock against yours, balls smacking against your ass as his pelvis grinds down on your swollen clit.
“Seungie!” You whine in ecstasy. “I’m getting close.”
Your stepbrother doesn’t let up. In fact, his thrusts seem to get faster and rougher. His cock pistons in and out of your cunt, creating sloppy wet sounds as you get even wetter. His eyes are dark as he pulls back to look at you, all pretty squirming and trembling on his cock.
“Cum for me, baby. Cover my cock with your sweet cream so I can fill you up.” Heeseung pants. “Cum on my cock, angel.”
His teeth sink into your neck again, and it pushes you over the edge. Your hot cunt throbs as you squeeze down on his cock. Somehow your pussy only gets tighter and tighter as you get fucked through your orgasm. You tighten your legs around his waist until he can barely pull out, rutting his cock in short shallow thrusts as your climax starts to taper off.
“So fucking tight.” Heeseung hisses by your ear. “Shit, baby. Get ready. I’m about to creampie your cute little pussy. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
With a strangled grunt, he buries his cock to the hilt and shoots his load deep inside your fluttering walls while your pussy softly milks him for every drop of his hot cum. Mina reaches her own climax when she sees her boyfriend cumming inside you. She has to stifle her moans as she trembles and shakes outside the room that’s filled with the smell and sounds of hot sex.
“You’re taking it so well, angel.” Heeseung kisses your jaw tenderly as his fat tip spurts rope after rope of his thick cum into your clenching heat. “Milking my cock like I knew you would.”
He grinds his hips down, cock pulsing as he finishes stuffing you full of his hot, sticky load. Your stepbrother fucks his cum inside a bit more before reluctantly pulling out. Heeseung’s cock throbs as he watches his seed drip from your messy pussy.
He licks his lips, heated gaze never leaving your body. “Let’s do it again.”
You don’t try to protest as your manhandles into a different position. Mina is still coming down from her high when she realizes her boyfriend is still hard and about to fuck you again. She knows she shouldn’t feel excited or aroused by the fact, but she does. Especially when your face is shoved into one of Heeseung’s pillows just before his big cock rails back into your needy pussy.
Heeseung starts fucking you so hard his headboard slams into the wall repeatedly. The harsh sound pairs well with the plop plop plop sound coming from your cunt.
“God, Y/N. You’re so fucking good for me.” Heeseung groans when you clench down on him.
You moan loudly, bouncing yourself back on his cock. “Fu-Fuck, Seungie. This is wrong. We s-shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I know.” Your stepbrother smacks your ass, not sounding the least bit remorseful. “It’s so dirty baby, but I couldn’t help myself. Had to get my dick wet using your pretty little pussy.”
“Mmmh!” You whine out mindlessly, face turned to the side with your ass raised in the air for Heeseung to fuck deeper into your wet hole. “Feels so fucking good!”
“Yeah, it does.” Heeseung’s laugh sounds almost mean as he speeds up his thrusts to fuck his cock harder into your sopping cunt. “Your cute little pussy is the best I’ve ever had.”
His words shouldn’t please you as much as they do, but those lewd words turn you on so much that you can’t stop your cunt from tightening around him as he keeps spearing into you like an animal in heat. They also shouldn’t turn on Heeseung’s girlfriend but that’s exactly what they do. She isn’t angry, only extremely aroused as your ass bounces back on your stepbrother’s pelvis.
“Fuck!” Heeseung groans, fucking his cock right into your g-spot. “You’re so fucking hot, angel.”
You are. So hot that Mina finds herself wishing she could eat Heeseung’s cum out of your pretty cunt. She just knows you taste good, and mixed with her boyfriend she’s sure you must taste even better.
“Seungie, please!” You cry out, dizzy with arousal.
“Shit.” He growls, slipping a hand underneath your hips to rub fast circles on your clit. “Gonna make you cream on my cock again.”
“Heeseung!” You squeal as he picks up his pace, ramming into your squelching pussy as he rubs soft circles into your swollen clit.
Your stepbrother shoves his cock deep into your cunt and grinds, making you squirm and whine as his dick rubs against the spongy spot in your pussy. Your hands twist in the sheets. He flicks and pinches your puffy clit. God, do you look good, and so does Heeseung. Mina is groping one of her tits while the other hand goes to play with her pussy again. Briefly, she thinks she wouldn’t mind having a video of you two fucking so she can watch it over and over again.
“Hee, I’m gonna cum.” You moan against the pillow.
“Do it, baby.” He encourages you, free hand coming down to slap your ass hard. “Cum all over my cock. Want to feel your hot cunt squeeze me.”
It’s not long before your orgasm hits. You’re screaming into your pillow as your cream coats Heeseung’s big cock. Your pussy clamps rhythmically around his dick. Mina can’t see you, but with the way your toes are curling she can tell your eyes are rolling to the back of your head in pure ecstasy.
“Oh, baby. You feel so fucking good.” Heeseung praises you. His hands move to slap your ass again, making you squeal and tighten again. “Fucking work your little pussy on my cock. Fuck. Need to fill you up again.”
“Want you to stuff me full.” You whine back at him, pussy fluttering at the thought of Heeseung’s cum filling your cunt again.
“Yeah?” Your stepbrother laughs, sounding way too delighted. “Want me to creampie your hot little cunt again?”
“Please!” You whine as Heeseung’s fingers slide over your hip to start working soft circles into your clit again. You writhe back on him, feeling yourself get even wetter at the filthy thought of him shooting his hot load inside you.
“Cum inside me, Hee.” You pant, mewling when his fingers rub your clit even faster. “Want it so bad. Want to feel it.”
“Oh, fuck.” Heeseung groans, hips snapping hard against your ass when he feels how tight you’ve gotten. “You ready, baby? Fucking take it. Take your stepbrother’s cum in your needy little cunt.”
You moan loudly when you feel his hot cum filling your pussy, stuffing you so full it drips out around his cock. Heeseung ruts his spent cock into your sloppy pussy as he pinches your clit, watching as your back arches as a fourth orgasm sweeps through you. You lazily fuck your cunt back into him, loving the feeling of his cum dripping out of you and coating your thighs.
Heeseung pulls out of your warm cunt with a low groan. He’s quick to pull you against his chest and lays you down with him. His face is buried in your hair, eyes closed in bliss as you both try to catch your breaths. You feel his smile in your hair as he cuddles you and murmurs sweet praises against your temple.
Through your drooping eyes, you catch sight of Mina. Her eyes widen when you two make eye contact. You can’t hide your smirk when you see that she was masturbating to the sight of Heeseung fucking you raw. Instead of saying anything, you give her a seductive wink. Mina clenches around her fingers because the wink is full of understanding and promises.
It’s clear that Heeseung was never hers, but maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing.
#heeseung smut#lee heeseung smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen x reader#enha x reader
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nurse
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Summary: Ghost avoids you but it's not what you think.
Warning: Slight Time Skips, Kinda Asshole Ghost?, Smut (18+), Use of Y/N, Language (?).
Word Count: 4.6K
Note: Now, I know in my master list I said that right now I would only be writing for the Slytherin Boys......but I have spiraled back into my Call of Duty, specifically Ghost. Now this is just an experiment, I don't know how this will go over but if you guys like it then maybeeee I'll post my other fandom fics that I have.
Also! This is a birthday gift for my beautiful gem, @slytherinslut0 , so everyone thank her and wish her a happy birthday. As always, @cafekitsune is on the banner.
Taskforce 141 didn’t pay any attention when they were told that they would have a new nurse on the base. They assumed it would be another male, just like everyone who got employed here.
So, only one could imagine their shock when the base’s doctor, Dr. Moscaw, introduced a pretty little thing like you to the team.
“This is Y/N. She will work under me. Your first point of contact for anything medical-wise.” Moscaw spoke, “Don’t go scaring her off, boys.”
There were grumbles and protests as Dr. Moscaw left you with the team. You cleared your throat as you gave them all a nervous smile. All their eyes were on you, surveying you almost like prey. A certain man with a skull mask being the most intense one. “Um, right. You all desperately need an annual check-up. So, whenever you all have a moment, please stop by the medical ward. I would love to update your records and meet you all.”
Before any of them could say anything, you had scurried off.
Over the next few weeks, they all came in one by one. Introducing themselves as you went through updating their records.
First came Captain Price. You liked to think that he came in to lead by example and not to get out of his mountain of paperwork. Then Kyle came in the next day. He begged you to call him “Gaz”, saying that nobody on base ever calls him Kyle.
Not long after Gaz came, Johnny waltzed into your office. He was flirty but overall friendly. Johnny, just like Gaz, begged you to call him Soap like everyone else. He was the one who referred to you as a breath of fresh air amidst the testosterone-filled air. Often, he and Gaz came to your office. They always claimed to be checking up on you, but you knew it was because they were hiding from their duties.
“Where is…. um, Ghost? Or is his name Simon? It’s two first names on this file.” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of information in his records. Soap chuckled, glancing up from his phone to you. “Ghost is the name he’s gonna give ‘ya. It’s the name that we all know him by.”
“A field name, I assume?” You asked, looking up from your computer. Gaz and Soap nodded. “Yep. His name for plenty of reasons, but that’s neither here nor there.” Gaz waved his hand dismissively.
“Well, is he going to come in for a check-up? He doesn’t have another doctor or anything listed.” You sighed. “His medical record is empty. There is nothing on here, other than his name and height. No birthday, no past medication history, nothing.”
“Of course, that’s all that’s on there. That’s all anyone knows about him.” Soap laughed. “He’s not gonna come in here for a check-up.”
“What? Why not?” You asked, closing your computer.
“Too much information.” Gaz shrugged. “Nobody knows anything about him. It’s a shocker that he even allowed his real name to be on those records.”
“So, nobody knows if this guy even goes to the doctor?” You threw your hands up in exasperation. “That’s insane.”
“Ya may be right, but that means nothing to Ghost.” Soap said.
“And insane is basically his middle name. The man does whatever he wants.” Gaz added.
“Do you think he will come in if I just ask?” You pondered to the men.
Gaz and Soap glanced at each other before shrugging. “If you bat those pretty eyelashes at any man on this base, they’ll be eating out the palm of your hand,” Soap said.
“But Ghost isn’t like the average man. He’s not easily swayed like most.” Gaz added, “But I mean, it won’t hurt to try.”
With the encouragement from Gaz and Soap to just try to ask him, you spent the next few weeks attempting to track Ghost down. Unfortunately for you, he lived up to his name very well. It was like every time you went looking for him, everyone had “just seen him.”
Eventually, you found him, by pure coincidence. You were walking to your car, getting ready to leave the base for the day when your eyes landed on a 6’4, muscular man who donned a skull balaclava. You hadn’t seen him since the day that Price had introduced you to the team. He seemed bigger and a bit more intimidating than before, but your determination outweighed your nervousness.
You walked up to him, clearing your throat. Ghost stopped fiddling with his motorcycle to drag his eyes up to your face. His eyes were dark and analytical as he scanned your face before tracing down your body. You felt self-conscious of his wondering gaze.
“Whatcha ‘ya want?” His voice was deep, his accent coming out heavier than you thought it was.
“Um, I’m the new nurse.” You squeaked out before clearing your throat.
“I know.”
“Right.” You took a deep breath. “Your medical records are empty and you’re the only one who hasn’t come in for a check-up.”
There was a brief silence between you two as you waited for him to say something, anything. When you got the hint that he wasn’t going to say anything, you decided to just push forward and ask.
“Will you come in for one? And maybe introduce yourself a little more?”
Ghost stared at you a little longer before turning back to his motorcycle. “No.”
Your eyes widened at the blatant refusal. You raised your eyebrow, crossing your arms. “What do you mean ‘no’?”
“Do ‘ya not know what ‘no’ means? Aren’t ‘ya educated?” Ghost grunted; his back still turned to you.
“You can’t just…. You must fill out these records somehow!”
“No, I don’t.”
You narrowed your eyes at Ghost, huffing slightly. “It’s mandatory to at least get an annual check-up.”
“So, I’ve heard. Don’t care.” He spoke again, throwing one leg over the motorcycle. He started it up, gripping the handles. His eyes focused on your face again as he revved the engine.
“But-”
Before you could even think about responding, Ghost had sped off, leaving you in the dust.
“And he just sped off?” Soap laughed. Gaz smacked his arm, giving you an apologetic look.
“Ignore Soap. He has a terrible sense of humor.” Gaz rolled his eyes. “But we told you he was hard to sway.”
“I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to come in.” You groaned, “Maybe he just doesn’t want to get to know me?”
“It’s Ghost, you aren’t supposed to understand him.” Gaz shrugged. “But I doubt it’s you that he’s against.”
You let another groan, causing the two men to chuckle.
“Hell, Darlin’, you might just make the man nervous as hell. As you can see, we don’t have many pretty females around here.” Soap leaned back in his chair, grinning at you.
“Me? Make Ghost nervous? Please.” You raised an eyebrow, rolling your eyes. Soap shrugged, “You never know, he could be.”
“You never know,” Gaz said, agreeing with Soap.
“Whatever.” You muttered, ending the conversation.
Weeks had passed and Ghost gave no sign of even considering stepping into the medical ward or trying to talk to you. He evaded you any chance he got. You told Dr. Moscaw and Price about the predicament with Ghost. Both waved it off and said, “He’s Ghost, that’s just how he is.
When your official first three months of working on the base had come around, Soap and Gaz had invited you out to the bar to celebrate.
“It’ll be everyone. Cap, Laswell, König, hell, even Ghost said he would come.” Soap smiled at you. You scoffed slightly at the revelation that Ghost was going to show his masked face at the bar. “Are we sure he’s coming for me, or rather, the drinks?” You asked, your eyes focused on the computer screen in front of you.
Gaz chuckled. “He refused to go until we said it was a celebration for you.”
“Funny that the man that evades me wants to come to my celebration.” You muttered.
“You know, he’s probably around you more than you think,” Soap said, causing you to look up at him with a raised eyebrow. Soap shrugged, continuing, “I mean, he’s known for being around without others knowing, hence the name Ghost.”
“Like he sees me, but I don’t see him?” You asked. Soap and Gaz nodded.
“Think of it like he is collecting information on you. The poor guy lives and breathes our missions and the military. It’s all he knows. It works with the idea that you make the man nervous.” Gaz said, patting your back as he and Soap filed out of your office.
Gaz’s and Soap’s words stuck to you. Maybe you had gone about approaching Ghost all wrong. He was quieter than Gaz and Soap and obviously more secretive, given the blank medical record and the mask. Maybe you should let him approach you, let him feel you out to see if you’re trustworthy or not.
When the night of the celebration rolled around, you promised yourself that you would not pester Ghost. Despite the growing need to get to know him and your nursing instincts to make sure he was healthy; you were going to let him come to you.
You walked into the bar, tugging slightly at your dress that rose from sitting in the taxi. Your black mini dress hugged your curves and had a low neckline that showed off your cleavage with your matching strappy heels. Although Soap and Gaz had to you to come dressed up, you debated calling the taxi back and going home to change. You were going to be with your co-workers, who were most likely going to be in jeans.
You sighed, pushing open the door to the bar. Your eyes snapped over to the large table in the back of the bar where all your coworkers sat. “Y/N!” Gaz yelled, jumping up from his seat. He grabbed your arm, escorting you to the table. Everyone shot you a smile, except König and Ghost, who both donned a balaclava. Although, you could tell from the crinkle in König’s eyes that he was smiling at you.
“The guest of honor is finally here.” Laswell smiled at you. “Congratulations on sticking it out at the base for three months. I must admit, I thought these boys would scare you away by now.”
“No, I’m tougher than I look.” You joked, “Plus, everyone is nice. I felt welcomed.”
Gaz and Soap gave Ghost an unmistakable side eye that you caught, and if you caught it, then everyone at the table caught it. You also didn’t miss the narrowed eyes that Ghost gave back to Gaz and Soap.
“A round of shots! For our new family member.” Price winked at you, giving you a warm smile.
That’s how the night went on, chatting and drinks getting passed around. It didn’t take you long to get buzzed. You kept true to your promise to yourself and didn’t go looking for interactions with Ghost.
However, you felt his eyes on you. It was like they never left you, always following your every movement.
It felt familiar.
Ghost stayed quiet the whole night, not cracking a chuckle at any jokes or taking part in the conversations. His eyes wandered the bar as if he was looking for any type of escape. Whenever your eyes met his, he looked away, his eyes hardening in the process.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” You said, feeling the alcohol finally run through you and back up your throat. Although everyone was too occupied with their conversations to hear you. You stumbled your way to the bathroom, pushing open the door. You wasted no time, bending over the toilet and vomiting what little contents that were in your stomach.
“I knew I should’ve eaten before….” You whispered to yourself.
“Yeah, ‘ya should have. Not very nurse of ‘ya.” A deep voice echoed behind you.
You jumped, turning around, clutching your chest as your eyes landed on Ghost. He stood behind you, arms crossed, as he leaned against the stall door.
“God, when the fuck did you get in here?” You asked, your eyes traveling down his figure. This would be the first time that you had ever seen Ghost in civilian clothes. Even on relaxed days on the base, Ghost wore full tactical gear. Tonight, he opted for a compression tee and black sweatpants, as if he was planning to go to the gym after all of this.
Which wouldn’t be surprising for Ghost.
“I didn’t know you had tattoos.” Your eyes landed on his sleeve, which seemed to move as he unconsciously flexed his muscles.
“I know ‘ya didn’t.” Ghost said, offering his hand out to you. You took it gratefully, standing up to your two feet. Ghost handed you some mouthwash and gum, along with your purse.
“Didn’t want nobody shifting through ‘ya stuff.” Ghost said when he saw the look that you gave him, “Also thought ‘ya might want to touch up ‘ya make up.”
“Thank you.” You gave him a small smile. He nodded, turning on his heel to leave out the bathroom. You swigged the mouthwash around, spitting into the sink. You freshen up your makeup before popping the piece of gum in your mouth.
You made your way back to the table, sitting down when a waitress came and dropped a personal pan of pepperoni pizza in front of you with water. “Oh,” You looked up at her, “I didn’t order this.”
“One of your friends ordered it for you. Told me to bring it when you came back to your seat.” She smiled and walked away. You glanced down at the pizza with a smile. Pizza was your favorite greasy food; it matched the rumbling of your drunk stomach perfectly.
You looked up at Soap and Gaz, the only two people who would know about your guilty pleasure food. Soap was leaning against the table flirting with another waitress while Gaz made bets with Price on football games. You decided you would thank one of them later when they weren’t busy.
4 am finally rolled around, causing the night to end. Gaz had called you a cab, walking you out as everyone said their goodbyes. Ghost had already mounted his motorcycle and sped off into the night. Once Gaz got you settled in the backseat, you smiled at him. “Thanks, Gaz. Oh, and thank you for the pizza, too.”
Gaz raised his eyebrow. “What pizza?”
“The pizza you ordered me when I went to the bathroom.” You clarified.
“I didn’t order you a pizza, hell, I didn’t even know you went to the bathroom.” Gaz said before chuckling a bit with a mischievous smirk, “The only person who ordered food was Ghost.”
Before you could ask anything more, Gaz tapped the roof of the car and your taxi pulled off.
You went even longer without seeing Ghost after the bar. It was almost as if he had just disappeared into thin air. You tried to question Gaz and Soap, but they claimed they knew nothing about it. Saying that it was probably a “lucky guess” but if anything they had told you about Ghost was true, nothing he did was just a lucky guess.
You pushed all your questions to the back of your mind, as you knew you weren’t going to get any answers any time soon. You were cleaning up the office as your day was ending. 141 were out on a mission, a relatively relaxed one, so your office was quiet and easy to pack up rather than having to tell Soap to stop touching stuff every 5 minutes.
You hummed to yourself, not taking notice that your office door had swung open.
“You’re terrible at being aware of ‘ya surroundings.”
You jumped, a squeal falling from your mouth. “You have to stop doing that!”
Ghost stood at your door, in sweatpants and a hoodie. His arms crossed as he stared at you through his mask. He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. You suddenly felt small like the room was closing in on you due to Ghost’s tall frame.
“What are you doing here?” You asked. Ghost’s eyes seemed to widen, as if he wasn’t sure why he was there either.
“Give me a check-up.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, glancing over at the clock. It was 7:35 pm, and the base was basically empty.
“It can’t wait til tomorrow?” You asked. Ghost took a step closer to you, “I thought you wanted to get to know me?”
“I do but-”
“Then give me the check-up.” Ghost grunted, sitting on the bench. His large frame made the normally large bench look small under him.
You sighed softly, getting out your equipment to start his check-up. You stay silent as you slip on your latex gloves after washing your hands. “So, I’m guessing something happened on the mission.”
Ghost looked over to you, his eyes coated in a small dose of confusion. “What?”
“I mean, you seemed very adamant about not getting a check-up before and now you’re here after a mission. I just assumed maybe something happened.” You clarified as you moved to check his heartbeat.
It took everything in you not to let your hands wander across his chest as you pulled away from him to turn to your computer and record the data.
“Nothing happened. Just built up some confidence.” He said, getting off the bench to stand behind you closely.
“O-oh…. confidence for what?” You took a deep breath, your eyes focusing on the computer screen.
Ghost didn’t answer your question, instead, he grabbed your shoulders and spun you around to face him. “You’re very annoying, you know that?”
“What?” Your eyes widened.
“You’re always around, smelling good. In these scrubs that hug your body tighter than any other scrubs I’ve ever seen.” Ghost muttered, “Always laughing at Soap’s stupid jokes. Always getting pizza when you know you aren’t supposed to.”
“I try to avoid you and ignore you, but you just crawl your little ass into my mind anyways. All mission…. just thinking and wondering what you’re doing.” Ghost continued.
“Is this your way of admitting that you’ve been thinking about me?” You asked.
Ghost stayed silent. His eyes stay trained on you, no words or sounds coming from him. His hand moved to take a piece of your hair and twirling it around his finger.
“Um, we should finish the check-up so we can go.” You spoke softly. Ghost ignored you, dipping his face into your neck. He took a deep breath. “God, you smell heavenly.”
“Ghost....”
“I need you.” He grumbled, “I need you all around me. I’ve learned everything I can about you and all I can think about is how I need to feel about you.”
“How I need to ruin you.”
You felt a knot in your stomach at his words, heat pooling inside you. “R-ruin me?”
“Beyond belief.” Ghost confirmed, “Give me the green light.”
You stayed silent as Ghost pushed his knee between your legs, pressing his knees gently against your core, causing a whimper to fall from your mouth. He lifted his mask to reveal his lips, pressing against your neck in soft, wet kisses. “Y/N. Answer me.”
“I….” You gasped for air, “P-please…do it.”
Ghost didn’t need to hear anything else. He lifted you easily, throwing you on the bench. He yanked your top off, groping your breast. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about these since the bar. So soft and plump…” Ghost grumbled, pulling your bra down and latching his mouth to your nipple.
A small moan fell from your mouth at the actions. His tongue swirled around your nipple before he pulled away with a slight “pop”. He left a trail of kisses down your chest to your naval. He tugged down your pants, throwing them in the same direction as your top. He groaned at the sight of the wet spot in your panties.
“So wet and ready for me. Huh, love?” Ghost said, blowing softly on your clothed clit.
You whined softly, nodding your head. He slapped your thigh, his eyes looking up at you. “I want to hear use your words. Let me hear that pretty voice that has been plaguing my mind for these past few months.”
You let out a sigh as Ghost pressed the pad of his tongue to your slit through your panties, teasing you. “Yes…. I’m wet and ready for you.”
“Good fucking girl, Lovie.” Ghost chuckled, moving your panties to the side to latch his mouth to your clit. He sucked and lapped at your clit harshly, your moans becoming uncontrollable as he ate you out like a starved man. His tongue teased your slit, flicking his tongue up and down.
He gripped your thighs tighter, pulling you closer to him. His nose pressed against your clit, stimulating you more and more. “Oh God, fuck, Ghost.” You moaned, your hands reaching out to grip the top of his balaclava.
“That’s right. I want you moaning my name like it’s the only thing that pretty little mind knows.” Ghost muttered, slipping two fingers into you as he kept lapping up all your juices. Your thighs tightened around his face as you felt your climax coming.
Ghost groaned at the action, his cock twitching with anticipation. You tossed your head back as pleasure coursed through your body. “I’m about to cum, fuck, I’m s’close.”
Your words seem to push Ghost further into sending you over the edge. His tongue moved faster against you as his fingers matched his pace. Your mind was blanking from the orgasm that rushed over your body. Ghost pulled his fingers out slowly as he pulled away from your swollen clit. His mouth was covered in your slick as he smirked. “Taste so sweet, Angel.” He spoke.
He pushed his two fingers into your mouth, groaning at the warmth of it. You suck on his fingers, tasting yourself on them as you swirled your tongue around. “Such a good, eager girl. So happy to taste yourself on my fingers.” Ghost whispered, pushing them down your throat so he could hear your gags.
Ghost pulled away, yanking his sweatpants and boxers down. His cock sprang out, revealing its large length. It hit his abdomen; the tip leaking with pre-cum. Your eyes looked down at him, eyes widening at the sight. “My God….” You whispered.
Ghost grabbed the base of his shaft, jerking himself off slightly before pulling you to the edge of the bench and wrapping one of your legs around his waist while propping the other one on his shoulder. “I need this pretty pussy wrapped around my cock, taking every inch of me.” Ghost growled. He rubbed his tip up and down your slick, coating it in it.
“Tell me how much you want this, Lovie. How bad do you want me to fuck you?” Ghost demanded; his eyes focused on you. You let out a whiny moan, looking up at him, “Please fuck me. I want your cock so bad.”
Ghost pushed into you, filling you up slowly but surely. Ghost groaned, sinking into you until he was fully inside you. “S’fucking tight. Gonna fuck this pretty cunt until it’s molded to only take my cock.” Ghost groaned, snapping his hips forward for a forceful thrust. A guttural moan fell from your mouth, as Ghost gripped your throat with both hands, pounding into you at a ruthless pace.
“M’been dreaming of this since the day I laid eyes on your fucking application picture.” Ghost muttered, “Such a pretty fucking girl. Batting your eyelashes at everyone.”
Ghost’s hands moved down to your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh. Your moans were drowned out by the loud slapping of your skin. If it wasn’t for the way that Ghost was viciously railing you, you would be concerned that someone would walk past and hear you.
“Such a fucking whore. Getting fucked in your office…. you like being railed after work? Hmm?” Ghost hissed out as you clenched around him.
“You look s’pretty being full of my cock.” Ghost muttered, leaning down to kiss and nip your neck. You whined, feeling another knot form in your stomach. You clenched around Ghost, making him groan. “M’close…. s’close…” You spoke in between moans.
“Go ahead and make a mess on my cock, baby. Cum all over this cock like the slut you are.” Ghost demanded. It didn’t take long for your legs to shake and for Ghost’s cock to be drenched in your climax. He slowed his thrusts, pulling out of you. You whimpered at the lost feeling.
“Get up, Lovie. I want to cum all in that pretty mouth of yours.” Ghost said, pulling you off the bench and to your knees. You looked up at him as he pumped himself. Slapping his cock against your lips, you opened your mouth to let him slip in.
“S’fucking warm. Fucking made to take my dick in every fucking hole you have.” Ghost muttered, his hand snaking around the back of your head to shove his dick further down your throat. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you tasted all your juices that drenched his cock. Saliva trailed down your chin as Ghost thrust in and out of your mouth at an unforgiving pace. “A fucking slut you are, taking my dick so well. Fuck.” Ghost groaned as his hip stuttered slightly. His cock twitched in your mouth before ropes of cum shot down your throat.
Your eyes screwed shut as Ghost stayed deep in your throat, making sure you swallowed all his cum. He pulled out, bending down to level as you looked up at him. “So, this was going through your mind all this time.” You spoke breathlessly.
“Shocked, Lovie?” Ghost smirked, lifting you back to your feet.
“A little.” You nodded. Ghost tilted your head back to press a rough but gentle kiss to your lips. “Well, I suggest you get used to it because there will be more of that.”
“So, you made your move, huh?” Soap grinned wickedly at Ghost, who sat further down the table. Ghost’s eyes shot to Soap’s as he narrowed them at the man.
“Don’t even try to deny it, LT.” Gaz said, his eyes staying trained on his phone. “All the talk around the base is how a certain skull mask-wearing lieutenant is attached to the hip of the pretty little nurse.”
“She must’ve really made you nervous if it took you almost three months to make a move on her.” Soap teased.
“I did more than make a move on her, Sergeant.” Ghost spoke, “That pretty little nurse is now my pretty little nurse.”
Ghost smirked underneath his mask as he looked between Gaz and Soap. “So, it would do you both good to watch your hands the next to you hug her. Would hate to have to break your fingers off for wandering too far for your own good.”
Without another word, Ghost sauntered out of the meeting room, leaving Soap and Gaz dumbfounded.
“Hm, I was wondering when that boy was going to make a move.” Price hummed from his spot, “All that begging to hire her to this base and took nearly four months to even talk to her.”
“Wait, what? Ghost knew about her before she even got to base?” Gaz asked.
“Ghost was the one who pulled her application.” Price said, “Said ‘his future girl’ had applied, and I needed to get her on base.”
Gaz and Soap looked at each other before sighing. Of course, Ghost knew you before you knew him.
Because it wouldn’t be Ghost if he didn’t.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#call of duty#modern warfare#simon riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x reader#jayybugg fics
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it’s not that i don’t think guys can be cutesy but there’s something that feels so manufactured about the why male idols are presented that makes it feel funny to me? like i’m not laughing bc i think guys can’t be cute or that male cuteness is funny or anything like that it just feels so performative that i can’t take it seriously? and obsvly i’m not talking about real idols i’m talking about fictional ones like en****st*rs or id**olish7 these characters i can’t take seriously bc they don’t feel authentic to me i can’t really accept them
#bumbles (bee mumbles)#i mean i guess it also goes that i’m really not into the ideas of idols or celebrities bc the whole culture around them#feels performative and invasive and voyueristic#like most bands i can’t get into past very brief oh i like this music and some very basic facts before it feels really weird#which is why i think social media sucks bc it’s turning all sorts of creators into mini celebrities and ppl treat them to that same#standard#like do i want to be supporting an asshole? no#but do i find it inherently gross and disturbing that i know so much about this creator personally to know they’re an asshole?#like i’m not inherently anti deplatforming but i think it’s weird that so many ppl even have this platform and this pedastol#that we even need to say hey this guys ideas are toxic let’s not let them spread or psa that being a jerk is bad#like do i think it’s horrible that a guy cheated on his wife? yes absolutely. does this affect me or their content tho?#that’s them being shitty and i’m not a fucking cop#idk#i’m really depressed and lonely so my thoughts are spilling out
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Good Luck Babe
Summary: Wanda's boyfriend is the biggest asshole you've ever met. You think she'll choose you in the end.
Wanda Romanoff x F!R, eventual Natasha Romanoff x F!R
A/N: Don't be fooled by the summary, this is a Natasha Romanoff x R fic
Classes can be a drag. Especially the early mornings, where not even a cup of coffee can make you focus.
And then, there’s Wanda Maximoff, looking at the professor as she speaks, diligently taking notes while looking perfect, as usual.
She catches you staring and you have to look away, pretending that you weren’t just wondering how she manages to look effortlessly beautiful.
Class is dismissed and you take a minute to pack your things, preparing for the next session. You try not to roll your eyes as you find Wanda with her idiot boyfriend right at the door. As usual, they take up too much space, and you have to push one of them aside.
“Coming through, princess”
You don’t have to look back to know Wanda glares at you, annoyed at the nickname.
To be fair, the first time you used it you thought you were both involved in playful banter. Hell, you even meant it to be flirty, but she took great offense in it, which was the case with most things you did, whether they were aimed at her or not.
It was pretty clear she hated your guts. You just didn’t know why.
——
“I don’t know what her problem is” Wanda says, the music loudly booming across the house.
“What?” Jarvis says, leaning forward because he didn’t hear a word Wanda said. Partly due to the loud music and also because he’s looking at other girls, albeit discreetly.
“Y/N. She’s always being a total ass” the girl says, watching as you enter the house, avoiding her stare.
“She’s just jealous because you’re so pretty” he says and that’s enough to distract Wanda.
Across the room, you curse under your breath at the sight of the Maximoff girl. God, you hate her stupid boyfriend. Always runnig his mouth to his friends about Wanda, telling them private things… you’d overheard them at a bar once and it took every ounce of your being not to kill him right then and there.
Not to mention, the rumoured affairs that everyone knew about. Everyone, but Wanda, that is.
“You made it!” Carol greets you, and then follows your gaze. “Ugh, that guy’s the worst”
“Agree” you nod, turning to look at her. “Shots?”
“Hell, yeah” your friend says, taking you to the kitchen where Val is pouring some alcohol.
To your relief, you get to avoid Wanda for the entirety of the night, and as your friends arrive you quickly forget what had soured your mood in the first place.
Wanda, on the other hand, is not having such a great time. At some point while she was chatting with Pepper, she lost sight of Jarvis and can’t seem to find him anywhere. Knowing Stark could get crazy ideas, she worries that they might be doing something reckless so she goes around the house, looking for her boyfriend.
She’s expecting everything but seeing him with his pants around his ankles while a girl Wanda doesn’t even know gives him head.
“Wanda!” Jarvis shouts, startled.
“That’s not my name” the girl says, smiling playfully. “Or are we role playing?”
“I need to get out of here” Wanda says, closing the door.
Of course, he chases her down the hall, desperately sayig any excuse he can think of. Wanda tries to walk past him, but he blocks her from going downstairs.
“Don’t be so uptight about it” he loses his patience when Wanda refuses his apology. “Guys just need to do it more than girls, it meant nothing”
“You’re an ass” she says, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Wanda, don’t leave” he warns, as she finally walks around him to go to the first floor. The shouting makes some people turn around, and it’s almost impossible to ignore the commotion.
You’re standing next to Val and Darcy, unable to look away as the oh so happy couple keeps shouting at each other.
“Guess he got caught red handed this time” Darcy mutters. She and Wanda were friends but had a fallout and you suspected it had to do with Jarvis and his side pieces.
“Let go of me” Wanda insists when he takes her arm, pulling her close to him.
“People are staring, shut your fucking mouth”
“You’re hurting me” she protests, trying to losen his grip.
Maybe it’s the way she says it, so defeated or even scared, but those words make you snap, and you walk up to them, pushing Jarvis away.
“Stay out of it” he warns.
“Make me”
You are expecting the first punch so you dodge it in time, but he manages to land another one on your mouth, and you feel the taste of blood.
“You’re gonna regret this” you say, launching yourself forward until you knock him over, landing on a coffee table that breaks. Grabbing him by the shirt, you land two punches and go for a third one when he kicks you, making you gasp for air.
“That’s enough” Thor steps in, his brother looking delighted at the chaos. “You better leave”
Jarvis glares at him, but truth be told, Thor doesn’t like him and he is your friend. He leaves the Odinson house, cursing under his breath.
“I’m fine” you tell your friends as they bring over ice to put on your cheek.
“Want us to take you home?” Carol offers.
“It’s good” you say, shaking your head. “I should go, take some painkillers”
“Call us if you need anything”
“Ok” you pat Darcy’s back, leaving the house where everyone’s partying like nothing even happened.
As you walk to your car, you spot Wanda, sitting on the sidewalk, wiping away the tears that roll down her cheeks.
“You ok?” you ask, standing next to her.
“He’s an idiot. No, I’m the idiot for being with him” she rambles.
There’s a very sarcastic comment at the tip of yout tongue but you save it.
“Did he drove you here?” Wanda nods and you jiggle the car keys. “Come on, I’ll drive you to your dorm”
“I don’t want to be alone” Wanda hugs her knees, and in spite of everything, your heart aches for her.
“Any friends that can take you in for the night?” she shakes her head no and you sigh. “Wanna stay at my place?”
“Are you sure it’s ok?”
“Yeah, come on” you say, walking to the car. You drive in silence, eager to get home and put some more ice on the punch.
Wanda gets out of the car and follows you to the dorm you share with Carol, who usually stays with Val most nights.
“Take the bed” you say, handing over some clean clothes so she can change.
Wanda looks at you, and you feel uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze.
“I… thank you, Y/N”
“Sleep tight, princess” you say with a smile and for the first time she doesn’t look upset as you call her that.
——
The smell of bacon and butter wakes you up and you stretch, trying to remember why you’re in the couch.
When you see Wanda in your kitchen, everyhing that happened comes back and you groan, rubbing the sleep off your eyes.
“Ouch” you say when you rub close to the punch on your cheek.
“You’re up” Wanda says, smiling. It’s a strange sight, as she’s used to glaring at you or just ignoring your presence.
“You sleep ok?” you say, trying to hide your blush when you notice she’s still wearing the clothes you let her borrow.
“Yeah, thanks” she nods, pulling up two plates with pancakes. “I wanted to thank you for everythig you did last night”
“No need” you say, grabbing a fork and eating. Wanda’s just being nice and you honestly don’t want to force her to interact with you, so all you want is to finish your food and give her an out so she can leave.
“He’s been texting me” Wanda says, looking at her food but not eating anything. “Saying it was a mistake, a one time thing and that it would never happen again”
“And you believe him?” you try to control your tone.
“I’d heard the rumors… even from Darcy. You probably know already”
“We assumed that’s why you fought, but she told us it was none of our business. And I know this isn’t none of mine, but you deserve better”
Wanda giggles at that and you look at her, intrigued.
“I’m just… I thought you didn’t like me”
“Where’d you get that?”
“The nickname, your constant glares across the room…”
Oh, shit. Here you were thinking you were obvious about your crush, and Wanda thinks you hate her.
“I hate… Jarvis. I knew he was a dick so I always disliked him. Seeing him with you. Yeah”
“Do you like me?” Wanda asks and you take a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders.
The girl smiles, finishing her food. You stay in the kitchen, fidgeting with your fork until she comes back, changed into her own clothes.
“I should get back. Do you need anything? Painkillers, ice?” she leans forward, her hand touching your bruise gently. Then, you notice her eyes drifting to your lips.
“I’m fine” you say and she nods, stepping back.
“See you in class?”
“Yes” you say, smiling as she waves goodbye. Carol walks in ten seconds later, looking behind her.
“Was that…?”
“Yes”
“Did you…?”
“No” you cut her off. “She just didn’t want to be alone after what happened”
“Y/N…” Carol says in that tone you dislike so much. You’re about to get scolded over something that isn’t that big of a deal.
“Carol, come on. She slept in my room, I stayed on the couch. That’s it”
“I just don’t want to see you getting hurt” your friend says and you nod. “I mean, you got a split lip and a black eye already so maybe it’s a little late for that”
“Yeah, that’s true. Come on, there are some pancakes left”
——
You tell yourself it means nothing. Wanda sits next to you during class, and offers a second scone she got from the cafeteria.
“How’s the eye?”
“I’m not blind” you shrug your shoulders. “Jarvis hits like a little bitch”
Wanda snorts at that, and you can’t hold back your own laugh. That attracts the attention of Professor Harkness, who focuses on your eye.
“Do I even want to to know, Y/L/N?”
“Nah” you shake your head and she rolls her eyes.
“Alright”
With that, the lesson begins. You try hard to focus, but Wanda smells really nice and you’re only human. At one point, she shuffles in her seat, her leg coming in contact with yours and you give up on taking notes.
“You ok?” to your surprise, Wanda follows you out of the classroom. “I can let you borrow my notes, if you want”
“Wanda” you stop abruptly, sighing. “Listen, you don’t owe me anything. I helped because it was the right thing to do. So don’t worry about paying me back in any way”
“That’s not… ” she stutters, fixing her hair. “I don’t really have any friends. I was always with him”
“Oh” you feel like an idiot. “Well, ok. I could use those notes”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, come on. I’ll trade them for a coffee” you smile, walking next to her to the library.
—
It surprises you, how much you and Wanda have in common. She likes sitcoms and though you’re more of a Friends kind of girl, it’s fun to watch those old shows where they dance and sing from time to time.
“I only know Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins” you confess one time, which prompts Wanda to invite you to her dorm for a marathon.
“Where are you going?” Darcy says when you walk past her and Carol that evening.
“Oh, this is gonna be fun” Carol smiles and you glare at your friend.
“Well, Wanda and I…”
“Oh, my God! You traitor. Brutus!” Darcy shouts, throwing a napkin at you. “She’s the worst”
“I wouldn’t know. You didn’t tell me what happened”
“She got you there” Carol points out, eating popcorn while she enjoys the show.
“That is besides the point”
“Look, I’m not putting Wanda on my will or anything, we’re just hanging out. And if she mentions you, I’ll be the first one to defend you”
Darcy sighs, chewing on her lip.
“It’s not about me. Wanda has the habit of just… using people when she’s bored or on a break from that idiot. And then they get back together and forgets about you. Which sucks. I wouldn’t want it to be the case for you, that’s all”
“I’ll be careful” you promise.
Once at Wanda’s, you’re trying to enjoy the show, but Darcy’s words are echoing in your head. You had to admit that if you spent more time with Wanda, you’d probably develop an even bigger crush. And if she went back to that asshole, it would hurt you.
Was it really worth it?
“Is the show boring? We can watch something else. I know it’s weird that I like this” Wanda pauses mid episode.
“No, it’s just… Darcy said some things…”
“Oh. I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to hang out anymore” she sighs, looking down at her hands.
“I’m just thinking… maybe it would be good if you fix things with her? Say sorry. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it”
“I can try, but you know her. She won’t make it easy” you both laugh at that. “Is that all?”
“Yeah” you lie. “Come on, let’s keep watching. I wanna know if Rob goes to Ritchie’s play”
Wanda smiles, this time moving closer to you. Her head rests on your shoulder, relaxing against you. It’s so intoxicating, to have her so close, to feel her warmth.
And all you can think over and over again is “please don’t break my heart”. But you can’t ask for the impossible.
—
You’re really not expecting Wanda to take your suggestion at heart, but one day you see her speaking with Darcy in the hallway, your friend pretending to not be interested in the conversation at all.
The only sign that she actually forgives Wanda is when you’re sitting with the girl at the cafeteria and Darcy sits next to you, carrying a tray.
“This is the only seat that I could find” she mutters unconvincingly, making you and Wanda smile.
Though you spent most of the time in each other’s dorms, watching movies or shows. You learn that Jarvis was the one that dragged Wanda to all those parties and anytime you invite her to one she politely declines.
Now, you’re staying in while the rest of your friends are at the Odinson mansion. You don’t know if they’re allergies or a mild cold, but you’ve been feeling sick all day and wanted to rest.
“Coming” you groan when someone knocks. You open the door to find Wanda on the other side. “You’ll get sick, what are you doing here?”
“I made you soup”
“Thanks” you take the container, and you gotta admit the idea of warm soup makes your mouth water. “I’d say do you want to come in, but I really do worry this might be contagious”
“I’ll be fine” she walks inside, finding her usual place in the couch and patting the spot next to her. “Come on. We’ll even watch that boring show you like”
“The Office is not boring!” you huff, making her laugh.
A couple of episodes later, and you feel your eyes slowly closing, a side effect from the medicine you took. Wanda notices, and makes you walk to your room.
As you lay in bed, you’re drifting off to sleep when you feel Wanda sliding next to you, her hand on your forehead.
“Your fever is down”
“Mhm. Thanks to the magic soup”
“I’m staying, in case you need anything”
“Ok, baby” you nod, too sleepy to notice what you’re saying.
Wanda’s heart flutters at the term of endearment, and she watches you sleep peacefully, her mind racing with thoughts about what could this possibly mean to you both.
On the other hand, you don’t remember anything and are startled when you feel someone sleeping next to you.
“Wanda?” you say when you turn around, smiling at how cute she looks, all confused.
“I must have fallen asleep here. How are you feeling?”
“Better, thanks” you lay on your side, still smiling. Wanda is still thinking about the way you called her and it’s fairly obvious you don’t remember.
Still, she leans forward and you almost watch in slow motion as her lips meet yours in a short kiss.
“Why did you…”
“You make me feel… I don’t know. Safe. I’m sorry, if I crossed line. Maybe I should go…” she sits up and you follow suit, making her turn to you.
This second kiss is a bit more urgent and less delicate, but you hope it makes a point.
“Now I really hope that what I had wasn’t contagious”
Wanda laughs at that, her hand over yours.
——
The next few weeks you grow closer to Wanda. You spend most of the time at her place, watching sitcoms and more often than not, you end up making out on her bed, until you’re both out of breath.
She also enjoys teasing you endlessly, like that time she sat next to you in Agatha’s class and put her hand on your thigh. Your knee jolted forward, crashing against the table and making the professor glare at you.
This time, you’re supposed to be studying in your room, but you find that looking at Wanda as she goes over her notes is far more interesting.
“Stop” she says after a few minutes and you smile.
“I’m not doing anything”
“You’re staring”
“Can you blame me?” you crawl behind her, placing small kisses down her neck. She sighs at the contact, leaning against your front.
“Are you doing this to get my notes?”
“Maybe” you laugh against her shoulder, making her turn until you’re kissing her, and she pushes you down on the bed, straddling your lap.
“You better work for them, then”
Next day, when you’re done with your test, the first thing you do is reach for Wanda’s hand. To your surprise, she flinches away, grabbing the strap of her bagpack.
“Did you do ok on the test?” she’s quick to ask, hoping you won’t push it too much.
“I think so, yeah”
“If you pass, I’d say you owe me for borrowing my notes” she smiles.
“Well, we could go out to the movies. Or dinner?” you suggest, your heart beating faster. It’s a thought that has been going through your mind recently.
Not that you don’t enjoy the kissing and sneaking around, but you’re eager to take Wanda out, find new places together, talk about something else other than classes and her old shows.
“I’m not sure I can make it” Wanda says, avoiding your eyes again.
This new rejection stings and you drop your shoulders, looking for an excuse to leave.
“Yeah, you’re right. We have lots of stuff to do. I’ll catch you later” you say, walking faster and not waiting for Wanda’s reply.
The rest of the day is spent in your dorm, which isn’t unusual. The only difference is that you’re alone instead of enjoying Wanda’s company, and hiding from seeing her.
“Wanna go to Joe’s with us?” Carol offers. “To celebrate midterms are over”
“Sounds fun” you agree, because it’s been forever since you’ve been with your friends.
“You can invite your girl”
“She’s not my girl”
“Oh?” Carol tilts her head to the side, putting the pieces together. “So that’s why you only hang out in the dorms”
“What did you think we were doing?”
“Having sex like crazy”
No answer comes to you, because sex is something that hasn’t happened yet. Or maybe never, considering Wanda doesn’t want anything more.
“I don’t think she knows what she wants, Carol”
“Do you?” she asks gently. Your immediate response is a shrug of your shoulders, and it’s a lie, because you know exactly what you want. “Come on, it’s her loss then. Let’s just go out and have fun”
Meeting your friends does improve your mood and you’re happy you listened to Carol. You eat and play pool, until everyone gets restless and looks for something else to do.
“Heard Stark is having a party” Carol says, knowing he always gets the fancy booze.
“Pass” you’re the first one to speak.
“Why?”
“Isn’t he best friends with Jarvis?” Darcy says. “We don’t want to have another fight, do we?”
“Oh come on, there will be so many people he won’t even notice that you’re there!” Carol insists, and you can tell she’s gonna be stubborn and annoying until she gets what she wants.
So, you agree, but spend the whole time looking around, waiting for that jerk to pop out of nowhere and pick up a fight.
“I don’t think he’s here” Darcy says, patting your back. “Let’s just have some fun, then Val will drag Carol out of here and we can go home, yeah?”
“Sounds like a plan” you nod.
For the next hour, you do enjoy the party and are even surprised when Tony seems happy to see you. To be fair, he is a lot nicer than most of his friends. You’re relaxed, dancing to the music and doing shots with Darcy and Val, almost forgetting why you were so sad in the first place.
That is, until you walk out of the living room to get another beer, but the place is so crowded you bump into a girl.
“Sorry, are you ok?” you say, turning to make sure she’s fine.
Your stomach drops when your eyes meet Wanda’s.
She calls for you, but the sound of her voice is drowned out by the music and the ringing in your ears. Jarvis says Wanda’s name, and you take advantage of the distraction to escape, pushing people out of the way.
When the fresh air hits you, the first thing you do is bend over the railing of the porch and throw up, coughing and wretching violently.
“It’s ok” Darcy comes out of nowhere, getting the hair out of your face.
“Shit” Val sobers up immediately. “Time to go home?”
“Yeah, come on. Let’s get a cab” Carol says, patting your back.
They think you’re wasted, but all you are is heartbroken. Wanda was with him, after everything you’ve been through.
The shame over being so naive makes you stay in your dorm for the entire day.
Wanda shows up the minute Carol leaves.
“You should go”
“Please let me explain”
“I don’t think that’s possible” you shake your head. You know it, deep down. She’ll never give you a place in her life.
“We’re just… friends. He wanted to talk, apologize”
“Wanda” you plead, hoping she’ll stop. But instead, she pushes past you, her hands in your face.
“I can’t lose you”
“Why would I stay?”
Wanda answers with a kiss, that is slow at first, and then borderline agressive. You’re pushing, then pulling, unsure of what you want from her, but she pulls your pants down, just enough for her hand to fit, moving past your underwear and circling your clit. Your nails dig into her shoulders, gasping and breathing as she enters roughly, her fingers moving fast and hard.
It’s not nice or affectionate, but a way to further claim you, ruin you, brand you. Now she’s reached and touched more of you, and you’ll never be able to erase it.
Your orgasm comes unexpectedly, and after the high, you come crashing down. All you feel is bitterness and guilt and anger. Wanda stays inside, biting your neck. The sting reminds you, you’re only gonna get pain out of this.
—
It becomes a vicious circle. Wanda is distant in public, because more often than not Jarvis is by her side. And then, she corners you in any spot she can find, kissing you and pressing her body against yours.
The more you let her in, the weaker you are and it’s nearly impossible to stay away. It will hurt if she leaves, and it hurts to be with her.
“I don’t know how to stay away” you confess to Carol one particularly hard night. Darcy was called to offer her support, and she provided that along with snacks. “You were right, Darcy”
“I didn’t want to be” she says, holding your hand. “You’re the only one who can put a stop to this. She’ll never stop looking for you”
You can’t see yourself doing that, but then you walk past her in the hallway, and you hear her saying those words to Jarvis.
“I love you”
You couldn’t even get her to hold your fucking hand.
Pushing past her, you walk away, hoping to find the nearest bathroom and lock yourself there. Lucky for you, Wanda doesn’t follow you.
There’s someone else waiting outside.
“Miss Y/L/N” Professor Harkness greets and you nod, looking at your feet and hoping she doesn’t notice your red eyes.
“Professor”
“You’re too advanced for my class. My wife has a spot in her lecture. New people to impress, most of them pHD students”
Her emphasis in the new makes you understand.
You won’t have to see Wanda in class.
“Ok. I’d like that”
“Keep your head high, kiddo” Agatha says, her hand on your chin. “And don’t tell any of this to Rio or she’ll accuse me of going soft”
“Yes, Professor Harkness. Thank you”
“Mhm” she nods, giving her signature smirk and turning around.
One less place where you’ll have to see Wanda.
Soon after that, you change everything about your routine. Where you eat, study, even go out for runs. Hell, you change your phone number and Darcy is kind enough to let you stay with her for a while. That, and the Thanksgiving break are enough to give you three weeks of space.
It hurts and more than once you have to stop yourself from looking for Wanda. But what’s the point of being a secret? The longer it goes on, the more it will hurt.
Still, there are days when anger weights heavier than sadness. You’re mad at yourself, for being so stupid. At Wanda, because she was a coward and a liar. And those times, you get restless and go out to run, listening to music until you reach a hidden lake. It’s one of the few places you can be at peace, because you found it after Wanda broke your heart. So, there’s no ghost of her here, only you and your conflicting emotions.
Throwing stones at the lake is a way to pass time, and you’re doing exactly that when you hear rustling behind you.
“Sorry” a raspy voice says. Your eyes meet green ones, but these are softer, almost shy. The girl has beautiful red hair, braided with a few strands lose. She misinterprets your silence, and quickly retreats. “I’ll find another spot”
“That’s ok. I can… I can go”
“No, you don’t have to” she’s quick to reassure.
“Well, we can always share” you propose, smiling. The girl nods, and places her bagpack next to a log. She pulls out a book, and begins reading. You continue throwing rocks, stealing glances here and there.
“Is the book any good?” you finally ask.
“Depends”
“On what?”
“On your fascination with social expectations in Russian society during the 19th century”
“Pass. Got anything lighter?” you joke. To your surprise, the girl pulls out another book.
“How about the perils of indulging in romantic fantasies?”
“I know those very well” you say, grimacing. She puts the book down, smiling at you. You try to smile back, but turn your attention back to the lake until you’re able to calm down.
“Lit major?” you guess, pointing at the spot next to her. She moves her bag, allowing you to sit.
“Yeah. You?”
“Anthropology. Minor in Art History. I’m surprised we haven’t seen each other in the building”
“I'm a grad student, so I’m usually at the library” the girl says.
“No parties?”
“No one ever invites me” she shakes her head.
“I’d invite you” you blurt out, finding her blush adorable. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be forward”
“It’s not… you’re fine”
“So. Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary. Are you trying to find out if Tolstoy really wrote his book with Flaubert’s in mind?”
The girl gives you an appreciative smile, nodding.
“Yeah, but it’s more about how men in 19th century wrote about women. Even in two different societies, the protagonists are punished for following their desires”
“No one should be punished for that” you say, looking at her. She averts her eyes, holding back a smile.
“Why Anthropology?” she changes the subject.
“Because. We’re the same and we’re not, even thousand of years apart. Isn’t that fascinating?”
“How so?”
“Do you think you have anything in common with someone who lived thirty thousand years ago?”
“We need food to survive. Sleep, water, oxygen” she lists, and you nod.
“Mhm. All basic needs. Next question, did you make a drawing of your hand when you were a kid?”
“Everyone did” she says, as if it’s obvious.
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to see what it looked like. Because it was my hand and no one else’s”
“And people thirty thousand years ago thought the same thing. And left their handprint in a cave in Southern France. Isn’t that something wonderful?”
She stays silent for a second and then smiles.
“I suppose it is, yes. To have an impact, so long after you’re gone too”
“You get it” you nod. “I’m Y/N, by the way”
“Natasha” she says, smiling at you.
The next few days, you catch yourself thinking about Natasha, and even with all the distractions, your mind goes back to her. It takes every ounce of self control to not wait everyday by the lake. Why would you want to get hurt, when you just started healing?
Love never ends well for Anna Karenina, Emma Bovary or yourself.
And yet… three days later you’re by the lake, holding a book of your own collection and an extra scone. You’re about to give up when Natasha shows up, and she seems as eager as you.
“Hey”
“Hi” she answers, a smile on her face. “Am I interrupting lunch?”
“This is for you. I mean, I was hoping I’d see you here” you stutter, looking everywhere but Natasha’s eyes.
“I was hoping to see you too” she confesses. It takes you by surprise, so she grabs the scone and the book as you try to gather your thoughts.
“Emily Dickinson” she reads. “Enjoying it?”
“You can borrow it if you want. I mean, yes I enjoyed it when I read it. But I just thought, you might like a change from male authors”
“Thank you” she nods, holding it close to her. “I actually have to go…”
“Oh, right” you nod, trying not to look disappointed.
“Can I have your number?” Natasha blurts out, her cheeks turning almost as red as her hair. “To give you your book back”
You smile, handing over your phone.
“I recently changed my number and I haven’t memorized it yet. So give me yours”
“Ok” she says. As soon as the device is back in your hands, you send her a text.
“See? Now I’m sure I gave you the right number”
“Talk to you soon. Thanks for the food”
When is it appropriate to text someone without looking desperate?
Either way, you can’t hold back your excitement as you walk to your dorm, jumping on Carol’s back as she’s eating her cereal.
“Are you mad?” she says, flakes and milk flying all over the counter.
“I’m just happy!”
“Why?” she glares, hoping you’re not back to your old ways.
“I spoke to a girl. And she gave me her phone number”
“Oh, my God! Y/N!” Carol shouts, the rest of her cereal thrown away as she dances around.
“What’s all the fuss?” Val says from the shower, concerned over the noise. Carol runs to the bathroom and opens the door wide.
“Y/N met a girl”
“Way to go!” Val joins the celebration and you’re about to say thank you when you notice she’s stepping out of the shower.
“Gah, bye”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want your new girlfriend to think you’re a pervert!”
“Shut up” you say, walking to your room and flipping her off without turning back.
The rest of your evening is spent studying, but also looking at your phone waiting for anything to come through.
As you’re getting ready to sleep, there’s a text.
Nat: I’m ready to give the book back.
Y/N: It’s been… seven hours?
Nat: I’m a fast reader.
Nat: Secret spot? Saturday morning.
Y/N: I’ll be there
—
It’s the first time you’re there so early. The light filters through the leaves, birds chirping as their day begins with the rays of sunshine.
The walk to the lake is lovely, and you spot a couple of small flowers as you find your way to the place. Deciding to get one for luck, you twirl it around in your fingers.
You sit by the log, looking at the fog over the surface of the water when you hear soft footsteps approaching.
“I was afraid you’d stood me up” you joke when Natasha sits next to you.
“And stole your book?”
“The book, I could get over” you admit, giving her the flower. Natasha smiles, her fingertips caressing the petals delicately.
Your eyes are focused on the curve of her lips and those beaufitul eyes.
“Well, I’m here” she says, smiling when your eyes meet hers. “Thank you, I enjoyed reading it”
You take the book, your hands touching briefly.
“There’s a problem, though”
“What is it?” you say, worried that something’s wrong.
“I gave the book back, but I still have to thank you for that scone”
“Oh” you laugh.
“So, what is your preferred payment method? Ice cream? Coffee?”
“It’s a little early for ice cream”
“Then we’ll get it later. I know just the place”
“Yeah. I’d like that”
Though there are no classes, Natasha still has to meet with her advisor, so you chat for an hour until she has to go back to uni, agreeing to meet at your dorm in the evening.
“Is this a date?” you ask your friends on the video call as they agree on what you should wear.
“Of course it is, you silly goose!” Carol says, her face occupying half of the screen. “Wear something hot!”
“No, something comfortable. It’s an ice cream date, not a club” Val argues, trying to get a glimpse of the options.
“Something comfortable AND hot”
As they keep arguing, you opt for a pair of jeans, a white cotton t-shirt and a light jacket.
“Gotta go” you say when someone knocks. After hanging up, you are surprised to check Natasha’s ten minutes early. Plus, you don’t remember giving her your exact room number, agreeing you’d come down and meet at the lobby.
You’re about to open the door when the voice on the other side makes you stop in your tracks.
“Y/N? Please. Open up. I need you”
Wanda.
That voice, those words, the feelings you’ve been trying so hard to push away and bury come back. But instead of hurting you, they make you angry. You’re about to go out with a wonderful girl, who seems geniuenly interested in you. And here comes Wanda, trying to stain that as well.
Without thinking twice, you climb out of the window, holding on to the emergency ladder. You look down, unsure of what to do when you reach the last step.
"What are you doing?" Natasha says, rushing to stand above you.
"Parkour?" you reply weakly. "Is it too high?"
"Don't worry, I'll catch you"
Trusting her, you jump. Truth to her word, she eases the fall as you land, but you drag her along with you as you stay on the floor.
“Are you hurt? Why did you do that?”
Her hands are running over every inch of your face, going down to your shoulders and arms. The worry in her eyes only makes your heart beat faster.
“My roomate accidentally locked me inside”
You figure it's better than saying "My situationship is outside my door and I wanted to avoid her"
“You could have told me, and I would have gone and find her” Natasha insists.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s get ice cream? I won’t ever do this again” you promise, holding her hand. The redhead rolls her eyes, but nods and leads you away from the building.
You make small talk, appreciating how her hand doesn’t leave yours as you get away from campus and to the walking district. You try to look discreetly behind you, hoping Wanda didn’t see you and followed you.
Natasha finds the store, opening the door for you.
“Rocky road, please” you give Natasha puppy eyes and she smiles, ordering strawberry ice cream for her.
“So, what’s your deal?” she asks as you leave the store.
“My deal? What do you mean?” you say, mouth full of ice cream. The girl wipes the corner of your mouth with her napkin.
“You mentioned parties. Are you some sort of wild girl looking for someone to charm every night?”
“Oh, yes, I’m quite the Casanova” you laugh. “No, come on. My friends are cool and we just like to have fun from time to time”
“So, not a player” she notes with a smile.
“I did get my heart broken, though”
“Fella done you wrong?”
“His girlfriend done me wrong” you correct, wishing you were talking about anything else. But truthfully, if you want things to work out, you better be honest. “She was with me, but only on her terms and as if I were a secret”
“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that”
“I moved on. So, don’t think I’m just messing here, Nat. I really like you” you hurry to say, blushing slightly.
“I like you too” she takes your hand. “Now, let’s finish our ice cream so I can show you this awesome bookstore I found”
The next few hours are spent talking about college, some of your plans for the future and also, your friends. You smile when Natasha comments she’d love to hang out with them.
Before it gets dark, you walk back to campus. Worried that Wanda might still be at your door, you asked Darcy a while back to go check. Apparently, the coast was clear.
Natasha walks you to the door.
“I had the best time” you say, smiling. “We should do it again. Maybe go to the movies?”
“Would love to” Natasha nods, her eyes drifting to your lips. You lean forward, heart beating fast as you’re eager to feel her lips on yours.
“Are you still here? I told you to beat it!” Darcy opens the door, making you both jump back. “Oops, I thought you were someone else. Sorry, I’ll go back inside. Pretend this didn’t happen, make out”
“Darcy” you groan. Your friend doesn’t get inside, though.
“The famous Natasha. Y/N here won’t shut up about you”
“Shhh, don’t listen to her, she’s off her meds” you ask Nat, covering Darcy’s mouth and pushing her inside. As you close the door, you hold it so she can’t open it again.
Natasha laughs, her hands going to your hips and pulling you softly. You take a few steps forward, smiling as she lifts your chin, leaning to connect your lips in a slow kiss.
It’s mindblowingly good, although too short for your liking.
“So, when are we doing this again?”
“The date or the kiss?” she jokes and your hands go around her neck.
“Both”
“As soon as you’re free” she says, kissing you once more before leaving for the day.
Darcy snaps a picture the second you walk inside.
“That’s the gayest you’ve ever looked, congrats” she says, sending the picture to the group chat.
You roll your eyes, pulling out your phone and smiling.
Y/N: Best I’ve ever had
Nat: The kiss or the ice cream?
Y/N: What do you think?
Smiling at your phone, you walk to the couch where your friend is sitting.
“I’m happy that you’re happy” she says, relieved that you’re healing from everything that Wanda put you through.
“Me too” you sigh, pulling your knees against your chest. “Though I do have to ask. Did Wanda say why was she here?”
“I didn’t care enough to find out. All I did was tell her to leave you alone. And then I pretended you were inside so she wouldn’t go anywhere else looking for you”
“You’re a great friend” you nudge her with your foot and she glares.
“Ew, get that thing away from me”
“I take it back” you show her your tongue.
The next week, you text Natasha between classes, and though she’s very busy, she’s always making time to get back to you. You agree to go out on another date on Friday, but neither one can wait to see each other, so you end up at the library on a Wednesday evening, each one focused on your work.
Well, Natasha is focused on her work. You’re looking at her, because this is the first time you’ve seen her wearing glasses and it’s adorable.
“Find anything interesting?”
“Plenty” you say, not even pretending to be reading your notes.
“You’re not the only one who’s staring” Natasha’s eyebrow arches, speaking without looking up. “Brunette, green eyes, a lot of rings and eyeshadow”
“Oh”
“Is that the infamous ex?” she says and you’re scared she’ll be upset about this whole situation.
“Uhm… yeah. I’m sorry. If she’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll just leave…”
Natasha looks up at that, eyeing you up and down as you struggle to read her expression. She surprises you by pulling your chair until it bumps against hers, leaning forward and kissing you, one of her hands on your thigh and the other holding your chin, in that signature move that always makes your head spin.
“Maybe that’ll keep her away” Natasha says, smiling and bumping her nose against yours.
“You can’t just kiss me like that and expect me to focus on an essay” you say, biting your lip.
“Then let’s get something to eat. We need a break from all this studying” she proposes, picking up her things and leading you out of the library, her hand in yours.
You don’t care to look around for Wanda to check if she’s watching, because this moment with Natasha is yours. She’s holding your hand, kissing you, spending time with you whenever she can, instead of hiding you like you’re a dirty secret.
By being herself, she’s given you the one thing you always craved for. Something real.
Finally, Friday comes and you’re buzzing with excitement, getting ready to meet Natasha.
“Wanna go to a party tomorrow? You can invite your girlfriend” Val says, painting her nails while Carol throws a ball in the air.
“We haven’t had the talk about being each other girlfriends”
“What? And you call yourself a lesbian? This is the second date, you should be adopting a cat by now”
“Like you and Val with Goose?”
“Yes!”
“Well, sorry to disappoint the sapphics, I’m just trying to not scare her away. And about the party, yeah, if Natasha’s up for it, we’ll stop by”
“Alright, it’s at Stark’s”
“Oh. Maybe not, then”
Your friends share a look, and you glare as they both stay silent.
“You can’t avoid her forever” Val is the first one to speak. “She’s gonna keep looking for you, getting in the middle of what could be a good relationship just because she thinks she can”
“Yeah, next time you see her, don’t jump out the window. Open the door and tell her off” Carol agrees.
“You did what?” Val looks at you, baffled.
“It’s ok, Nat was there to catch me. Speaking of which” you hear a knock on the door, and stand up. “See ya, cat ladies”
“Hey! We only have the one”
You laugh as you open the door, but then you’re interrupted by Natasha’s lips on yours.
“Hey”
“Hello” she smiles, and then looks behind you as your friends whistle.
“Meet Val and Carol. My two former best friends” you grumble when they make kissing sounds.
“Nice to meet you” Natasha greets over your shoulder.
“Bring her home at a decent time” Carol says. “Unless you plan on having sex. In that case take her back to yours so she doesn’t wake me up”
“I hate you so much” you sigh, pulling Nat away.
“We’ll see you at the party tomorrow”
“Sorry about them” you mumble when you’re going down the stairs.
“What was that about a party?” she asks, opening the car door for you.
“Ever heard of Tony Stark? Big house, bigger ego. Loves to have parties. We don’t have to go unless you want to” you say, half expecting her to turn down the invitation.
“If you want me to go I’ll be there”
“I just want us to spend some time together, doing whatever you want” you say, blushing.
“I did promise I’d try going to a party with you, and it seems like the perfect time. Could meet the rest of your friends”
“Alright then” you nod, excited and terrified about how things could turn out if a certain someone is there.
Carol is right, though. You can’t be looking over your shoulder all the time, expecting Wanda to approach you and open those wounds.
If you have closure, in whatever way that is, she won’t have the power to hurt you anymore.
It’s hard to focus on the movie with Natasha by your side, her hand clasped in yours over your leg. At one point, you lean against her shoulder and she kisses your temple.
She’s so perfect, it makes you dizzy.
“What did you think about the movie?” she asks as you go out of the theater, her arm around your waist.
“It was good. I’m glad I understood most of it without having watched those other Alien movies”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have picked a different one” she protests, pulling you to a stop.
“I just want to be with you. Plus you looked so excited to watch it, I had a hard time saying no”
“Is that so?” she arches an eyebrow.
“Don’t use that against me, Natasha” you warn, getting ready to argue but her lips silence you, and you moan against the kiss.
It’s not nearly enough, and you need more of her, not just kissing.
“So if I ask you to go back home with me, will you still have a hard time saying no?”
“On the second date? What do you think I am, a harlot?”
“I’d count the lake as a date of it’s own. And the library too”
“So, this is like the fourth one?” you say, counting with your fingers.
“You don’t have to, I was only…”
Natasha’s words are cut off by your lips on hers, and she holds back a moan of her own when you run your tongue over her bottom lip.
“I’d very much like to go back to your place”
The drive back is silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. There’s a certain tension, and the expectation of what is about to happen makes you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest.
“This is home” Natasha says, opening the door to her apartment. Of course, as a grad student, you expected her to have her own place, but you still admire how homey it feels. There are books everywhere, which makes sense, and pictures of Natasha’s family.
“It’s lovely” you say, turning back to look at her. The tour of the place is forgotten, as you watch Natasha approach you slowly, her hands dropping to your waist.
“Nervous?”
“Yeah. A bit” you admit, because lying to Natasha has never been something you’d consider doing. “I want this to be perfect. And for you to really like it”
For me to be enough.
“It’s already perfect” she says, coming closer and kissing you slowly. Your eyes close as you enjoy the sensation of her lips against yours, hands wandering to your lower back. Without breaking the kiss, you discard your jacket and take hers off as well, and she immediately pulls you against her, your hands holding her cheeks as she deepens the kiss.
“Are we doing it standing up?” you ask when she breaks apart, breathing heavily against your neck. “Because I’ve never tried it, but I am open to experimenting”
“You could just say that we should take this to the bedroom” she laughs against your temple.
“Now, where’s the fun in that?”
Still, she laughs as you pull her by the belt loop of her pants, guessing that her bedroom must be that last door to the left.
“Bingo” you smile, opening the door. There are more books scattered on the nightstand and the floor, but at least the bed is clear. “God, Nat, your reading is gonna kill me” you say as you fall to the bed and make her land on top of you.
“Sorry, I don’t have company very often”
“Are you a virgin?” you tease, knowing full well she’s dated in the past, though nothing serious.
Instead of answering, she kisses you again, her lips drifting down to your neck, and then lower to your stomach. In one swift motion, she unsclaps your bra and lifts your shirt up, her tongue swirling around a nipple. You moan, surprised at the contact, holding her head in place as she moves to the other nipple.
“Does it look like my first time?” Natasha says against your lips, her hands going down to undo the button of your jeans.
“I’m sorry, I was only joking, baby” you say, and it’s almost embarassing how desperate you sound.
“Good girl” she comments, pulling your pants down. You struggle with your underwear and Natasha’s too impatient, so she pulls it aside and starts eating you out, her tongue making circles and swirling around your clit.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you say, biting your hand to keep you from screaming. Natasha nudges your clit with her nose as she moves to go up and down and you’re close when she stops. “Why?”
“I want to be inside you”
It’s a mystery, how your brain doesn’t stop functioning at that, but you manage to discard your shirt and start to undress Natasha, eager to feel her skin against yours. Once you’re both naked, she flips you, so you’re on top of her, straddling her lap.
“I’m debating if it would be better to have my fingers or my strap buried in your pussy” she says, and you wonder how the girl who is so well spoken can manage to be so crass.
Not that you’re complaining.
“Anything you want” you say, aware that you’re rubbing your center against her thigh.
“What’s that?”
“I… please. Just use me” you plead, desperate for some release.
Those words do it for Natasha, who takes out a strap on from her nightstand. You protest when she stands up to fasten it around her hips, feeling like you’re gonna combust if she’s not touching you.
“Shh, I’m here” she soothes you, laying on top of you and rubbing the strap against your entrance.
“Fuck me, Nat” you squeeze your legs around her, hoping she stops teasing you.
“That’s the plan, baby. Tell me if it hurts?” Natasha asks as she begins to fill you up, and you’re too far gone to give a verbal confirmation, nodding instead.
“More” you insist when she stops, searching for any sign of discomfort. Natasha thrusts forward, sinking the entire shaft and you moan, arching your back. “Harder”
Truthfully, Natasha’s never been so adventurous or forward in her sex life, but the way you’re pleading, clenching and panting underneath her, wakes something entirely new inside her. Pushing your knees against your chest, she moves in and out, reaching new spots that make you see stars.
“Yes, yes, yes” is all you manage to say, holding on to the sheets as your knuckles turn white. “Nat, I’m gonna…”
The words are stuck in your mouth as a powerful orgasm takes over, leaving you breathless. You feel Natasha slowing down her movements, and then she goes to kiss your neck, the strap still buried inside you.
“That was…” you sigh, trying to make your brain work. As your breathing steadies, your muscles relax and you let a finger run up and down Natasha’s side. “I don’t know what to say. You’re the one with the big words”
“That was fucking hot” she says, making you laugh. “And I’m not done with you”
Good thing your schedule was clear for the next day, because you weren’t getting any sleep tonight.
—
Your muscles feel sore when you wake up, stretching and turning in Natasha’s arms, watching her sleep.
Her alarm woke you up, but she’s still sound asleep.
“Nat” you say, moving her fiery hair out of her face. “Baby”
“No” she protests.
“Time to get up. You’re meeting your advisor, remember?”
Natasha curses under her breath, clearly not caring enough to wake up.
“Hey… what if I sit on your face?”
“I’m up” she says, opening her eyes and pulling you by the waist. “Come on, giddy up”
“Nuh-uh. Get dressed”
“Why would you lie about something like that?” she whines, burying her face in your neck.
“I didn’t lie, because technically, I didn’t say I’d do it right now. Get dressed, I’ll make breakfast and then we can go back to uni”
“Fine. But this discussion is not over” she kisses your cheeks, neck and then your lips, smiling as you laugh. “Morning”
“Morning, baby” you say, appreciating how beautiful she looks even with bed hair.
When she gets up, you find one of her t-shirts and go to the kitchen, looking at your options. You opt for french toast and make some coffee, because Natasha is definitely gonna need it to stay awake.
“Tastes amazing” she comments when you sit down to eat.
“Breakfast or me?” you tease and she almost chokes with her coffee. “Sorry, let’s eat”
“So, what are the plans for today?”
“Laundry, some homework. Standard stuff”
“Do you have any plans for lunch?” Natasha asks and you shake your head no. “Would you like to eat with me? After I’m done with my meeting and you finish your stuff, of course”
“Would love to” you say, smiling at how domestic and perfect it all feels.
Once you finish breakfast, you get changed and walk to Nat’s car. Parking close to your dorm, she kisses you goodbye and walks to the professor's offices.
You’re so distracted, thinking about everything that happened that you don’t notice Wanda sitting outside your dorm until you’re at the door.
“Wanda” you say, your hands in the pocket of your jeans. “Hey”
“Y/N? Did you just get here?” she says, looking around and then at the time on her phone. “You didn’t sleep here?”
“What do you want?”
“I want… to apologize”
You sigh, hoping the conversation ends soon so you don’t have to ever talk to her again.
“Anything else?”
“I thought he would change. He promised. But then it happened, again and again. And all I could think about is how you’d never do that to me”
“No, I wouldn’t. But now it’s too late. You made your choice”
“It was the wrong choice. Please, just give me another chance. I was scared before…”
“No, Wanda. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear it and we’re not gonna be anything at all. Natasha is… she’s amazing and I want to be with her. You had a choice to make and you went with him. And now… I have to choose the girl I’m in love with”
“Is there anything I can do or say…?”
“No. I’m sorry” you shake your head. Wanda nods, wiping away the tears. It does tug at your heart, seeing her so alone and broken. But it’s not on you to fix this.
Not anymore.
You let out a sigh when she leaves the hallway, turning in the other direction so she doesn’t see you wiping away a tear of your own.
Your eyes meet Natasha’s. She’s holding a bouquet, looking at you intensely.
“Nat. I can explain.”
The redhead drops the flowers and you’re scared she’ll walk away, but instead, she approaches you, lifting you as she kisses you. You sigh against her lips, holding on to her as if she’s the only thing in the world.
“I heard. Everything. You don’t have to explain anything” she puts you down, smiling. “I’m in love with you too”
“I don’t… know what to say” you laugh, craddling her face in your hands.
“No need to speak” she pulls you closer again, walking back until your're cornered against your door.
“I swear to God, if it’s that girl again I’m going to…” Carol opens the door without a warning, making you almost fall. “Awww, you guys! Val, come look! They’re kissing”
“With tongue?”
“I hate you so much” you complain, hiding your face in Natasha’s neck. She laughs, kissing your temple. “Now close the door so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend”
“Girlfriend? Val, they’re girlfriends!”
“Wohoo!” the girl screams from somewhere inside the apartment.
“Agh, it’s like having overbearing lesbian mothers” you slam the door shut, turning to Natasha. “I’m staying at your place tonight, or they will drive me insane with all their questions”
“Tonight, every night. Whatever you want. Just know… you’re getting very little sleep” she says with a smirk, kissing you.
“I can live with that”
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ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau
description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)
a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any
a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!
requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys
masterlist
liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others
youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie
tagged: glenpowell
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oscarpiastri: proud of you!!
↳ youruser: 🧡
glenpowell: caption is so real of you
user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?
↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that
↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said
landonorris: cute!
↳ user3: what are you doing here??
↳ user4: lando in the comments?
user5: such a good movie
user6: yn + glen = power duo
liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others
oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies
tagged: youruser, glenpowell
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landonorris: i just laughed out loud
landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo
↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious
user8: cutest couple ever
glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!
↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara
↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him
// lando’s phone//
//
liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others
landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something
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oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?
↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs
↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??
↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!
↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard
user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando
↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 3,017,426 others
youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)
tagged: oscarpiastri
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user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES
↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now
user16: oscar and yn are endgame
oscarpiastri: the best company
↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either
↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar
user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!
↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!
glenpowell: miss you lady
↳ youruser: you miss my animals more
↳ glenpowell: and what about it.
liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and 4,209,384 others
landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man
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oscarpiastri: believe me now?
↳ landonorris: never doubted you
↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol
↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time
user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?
↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL
youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!
liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,298,361 others
oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?
tagged: youruser
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user22: sassy oscar
↳ user23: channeling his inner lando
landonorris: yes sir 🫡
↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?
youruser: MY MANNNNN
↳ user24: oh she's in deep
user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,208,763 others
youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol
tagged: oscarpiastri
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landonorris: how was i meant to know?!
↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.
glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours
↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.
↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever
↳ user27: they're in a throuple
↳ youruser: ew
↳ glenpowell: disgusting
↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh
user28: couple goals forever and ever
user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real
#oscar piastri#op81#oscar piastri smau#smau#formula one#formula 1#f1#formual one smau#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#oscar piastri x reader#op81 smau#oscar piastri fanfic#lando norris#oscar piastri imagine#op81 fanfic#op81 imagine#f1 blurb#fanfic#lando norris smau#mclaren#daisy edgar jones#twisters
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hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
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please don't say you love me
in which fwb!spencer reid and fem!reader get into an argument about the nature of their relationship.
18+ (implied intimacy) warnings/tags: friends with benefits arrangement, it goes bad, reader is so clearly anxious avoidant, reader is so me-coded, self-loathing, difficulties with emotional intimacy, arguing, derek and penelope make an appearance woo, a little dramatic, no happy ending (a nereidprinc3ss first!) a/n: it happened guys I stopped writing for a few days and last night randomly was inspired to finish this fwb piece and it essentially turned into a vent and went a completely different direction than i thought it would but here we are!!! i hope you enjoy, I loved writing, ilysm
“Are you reading it? Did you get to the part yet?” You ask, buzzing as you peer around Spencer’s arm to see where he’s at in the book you’d handed him. Sometimes you think it takes him longer to flip the pages than to read them.
He doesn’t answer, but you see the flickering quirk of his lip like something is amusing him. It’s been a few minutes and he’s maybe halfway through. He has to have seen it by now.
You’re clinging to his arm, eyes darting pointlessly between the text and his face, searching for a reaction. It comes in the form of a furrowed brow, a disbelieving smile, and something between a barking laugh and an exclamation of, “what?”
“You read it?”
His eyes narrow and he flips back a page, taking a bit longer to reevaluate.
“Our moans and grunts drowned out the screams of the dead and dying only a few hundred feet away.”
You giggle furiously, clapping a hand to your mouth when you snort, and you feel Spencer’s focus shifting to you, even with your eyes screwed shut.
“And you read this whole series?”
At that you sober up some, still hiding the bottom half of your face and brows drawn sorrowfully as mirthful tears well. You’re slow to admit your guilt with a nod, and his expression is somewhere between horror and fascination.
Your cheeks heat and you cover your face, laughing again and shaking your head shamefully as he ridicules you.
“Why? Why would you do that to yourself? I don’t even know if I can be seen in public with you, that’s—” he’s haphazardly tossed the book back on its display table and grabbed your wrists, pulling gently and laughing too. “No, show me your face. This is—you need to explain yourself. This is unforgivable.”
“No! I swear it was a morbid curiosity, I didn’t like it, I’m sorry! I—”
“Reid?”
You both freeze.
It’s not the most dignified position, admittedly—hidden among the shelves in a bookstore, pressed too close to be friendly, his hands around your wrists.
So you don’t mind when he drops them like hot potatoes and gives you a few inches of breathing room.
“Hey! Uh—you’re—”
Spencer is looking between you and two other people at the end of the aisle—a quirky bespectacled blonde in a flouncy polka-dot dress and her taller companion, ripped and head shaved, sporting some impressive eyebrows. Right now they’re conspicuously raised—his eyes are also pinballing between you and Spencer.
For a moment, everyone is just sort of… looking at each other.
It’s a little bit… awful?
Finally Spencer clears his throat.
“Um, what are you guys doing here? Just… looking at books?”
Something is off, and you feel like shrinking or running, but you just stay glued to your spot.
In sync, they hold up copies of the same book—and it takes you not a second to place the author’s name, in imposing red font at the bottom like it’s important. Rossi.
The pieces click into place. These must be Spencer’s co-workers—Penelope and Derek, if his descriptions of the team have served you well. Part of you is starstruck. Part of you is embarrassed. They’re clearly shocked to see Spencer with a girl in the wild, so you know he hasn’t told them about you—and why should he, you think, why should he tell his friends about the girl he’s been sleeping with for months now?
Finally, the blonder half of the duo speaks.
“You’re—this is a girl. That’s. Who is that? Hi! Who are you?”
She’s literally pointing at you, eyes drifting between you and Spencer like it just doesn’t make any sense. Derek gives her a look and gently pushes her hand down.
“Hey. That’s enough.” Then he offers you a polite smile, though you sense a bit strained, and his eyes too keep wandering back to the man next to you. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, no! You’re not… interrupting…” Spencer trails off and you sense he’s looking at you and gauging a reaction but you’re just smiling idly at his friends and waiting for this to be over. He finally thinks to introduce you by name, and you offer a shy wave and a smile to your new acquaintances.
Penelope points (that damn finger again) but this time it’s less accusatory, and stays below chin level.
“Cool shirt. I love that band,” she offers genially. Your brows raise and you look down, trying to remember what shirt you’d tossed on before leaving Spencer’s apartment an hour ago.
“Oh! Thanks,” you smile, and you’re relieved to mean it this time.
Another frosty silence begins to descend, but Derek doesn’t let it settle so much this time, to everyone’s satisfaction.
“Alright, well. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy your date.”
There’s too much weight on the last sentence, and Derek gives Spencer a eyebrows-raised-meaningfully look you don’t understand. You’re just glad Spencer keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t immediately insist that it’s not a date, because it’s not, and that’s fine, but the vehement denial would bum you out.
The pair walk away in the kind of clenched silence that means they’ll start fervently whispering as soon as they are out of ear shot. You watch their retreating figures and chew your lip, sensing that the carefree and playful energy of five minutes ago will have evaporated by the time you turn back to face your companion.
“Strange,” you murmur, mostly to yourself, and you’re slightly jarred when Spencer replies from beside you.
“Which part?”
All of it.
Turning to face him, you smile, and it doesn’t reach your eyes but it doesn’t need to.
“Oh—nothing, sorry.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, only stares at a point somewhere above your head and narrows his eyes like he’s thinking unpleasant thoughts.
“Was I an asshole, to you, just now?”
It’s unexpected. You don’t have an answer prepared, so you say something that feels like a lie because you can’t prove that it’s not the truth.
“I don’t think so. Why?”
“I just… I don’t know. I get weird around them, sometimes. I don’t always know what to say, like, when my personal life and my work life intersect, because for a long time I didn’t really have a personal life. And I think they still think I don’t know how to talk to girls, so…”
“You don’t know how to talk to girls,” you remind him. “Let’s go look at the puzzles.”
Maybe you spend too much time with Spencer Reid. Maybe that’s the problem—too long in his presence and he’s eating away at your neural tissue like you’ve got cysticercosis and he’s the T. solium (a terrible thing he had explained to you a few weeks ago.)
Maybe you need a break from him, to stop breathing his air and sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothing, because you’re forgetting that he’s not the entire world and that is a very bad thing to forget in a situation like yours. The entire world cannot be the size of his apartment.
But you also just like him so much. As a friend, of course. That goes without saying. You like his strange sense of humor, and the way he lights up when you ask him an obscure question. You like your legs across his lap while you watch his old shows. You also like being kissed by him, and hugged by him. You like being taken care of like no one has ever taken care of you, and you like the way he always touches you, soft and kind and so on purpose.
You never meant to like him so much.
This affection—it has grown, insidious and parasitic, and now that it’s been pointed out to you like a lump in your side, it’s impossible to ignore.
What you and Spencer have works precisely because you’ve kept things platonic and casual. That way, there’s no worrying about emotional baggage or arguing about feelings because there are none to be found and no precedent that any such things should or need to occur. You can’t hurt each other’s feelings if your feelings aren’t on the table.
So why can’t you stop thinking about earlier?
Why can’t you help caring that he’s been keeping you a secret from the people he loves most?
“So, essentially the book is his first deep dive into meta-fiction. It was pretty revolutionary at the time, and while not his most celebrated novel, I’d argue it was his most relevant and culturally pervasive. I’d actually love to hear your interpretation of the story—it’s truly different for everyone. It’s a little like… like a literary Rorschach test. Do you wanna borrow it?”
You’re a tangle on his bed—arms, legs, sheets—it’s hard to tell where you end and he begins. All you’re sure of is his hand, tracing his fingers in chaste lines, feather-light up and down your inner thigh in the way he knows you like. Usually it’s so soothing you melt and fall asleep within minutes. Right now it’s only stoking some sparking electrical fire in your chest—the buzzes and bursts from which have you on edge. Ready to cave in at any second. You wish you could relax. You’ve been trying.
Spencer is in no hurry for you to respond, and so doesn’t seem to mind when it takes you a long while to find your answer.
“I think I need to go home.”
It comes out too scratchy, as you haven’t really spoken for several hours. Not as casual as you were going for. He angles his head down toward you and his hand stops and you realize it’s actually worse like that.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah! Everything is fine, I just… I wanna sleep in my own bed tonight, I think.”
It’s late and you shouldn’t be making him drive you across town, but he’s always amenable to what you want. This is the longest you’ve ever stayed at his place, after all—a rare long weekend—and before that a few weeks had passed with no cases to speak of, during which time you’ve been staying with him more and more. Spencer seems to be completely content letting you eat his food and use his shower if it means you don’t leave.
“I know the feeling well,” he admits, and your heart twinges with the care he takes to not bump or bend you or pull your hair as he shifts. He’s already been out of bed, and so is more dressed than you. Really, most people on the planet are more dressed than you, and you pull his nice sheet higher up your chest as he sits on the edge of the mattress, looking down at you and with a sort of worry in his eyes. He finds your knee through the fabric. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been quiet.”
Stop paying such close attention, you want to tell him. And in the same breath, please don’t ever look away.
“I’m… good.”
It is easily the least convincing performance of your life. Either you’re self sabotaging or you want him to push you further, and you don’t know which is worse.
When his brow ramps just the slightest bit, you know you’ve fumbled it.
“I don’t believe you.”
You shrug. “I don’t need you to.” And then you sit up, still holding the sheet to your chest. “Can you hand me a shirt?”
Enough clothing has accumulated around the room recently that he could pretty much reach out in any direction and find something for you to wear. He grabs a sweatshirt hanging from the bedpost and holds it out for you, and you pull it over your head, before dropping your feet onto the cool wooden floor and grabbing the first bottoms you see—a pair of floral pajama shorts. How have so many of your clothes ended up at his apartment?
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
You scoop your bag up from a chair and flit around the room, haphazardly stuffing away discarded clothing to take back home. It’s true that it’ll be nice to get back to your stuff—your shower products and your closet and your silk pillow cases. You shouldn’t be spending so much time here. It’s not your space and you’ve been sacrificing your own needs to be closer to him, which is something you’d rather not do for any man.
“You can drive me home. I’ll send you gas money.”
“You don’t need to send me gas money,” he says, tacking your name on to the end of the sentence in a way that raises your hackles instantly.
“Yeah, I do. You drive me around constantly. I’ll pay you back and start taking the metro, or something.”
“I don’t want your money,” he scoffs.
“Fine. Then I’ll call a car.”
“That’s unnecessary. I’m happy to drive you.”
“Why?”
Silence hangs. Spencer has by this point stood up, and he’s watching you with a furrowed brow and slightly parted lips like he doesn’t understand where this animosity has come from. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure either. You didn’t realize you were harboring so much of it.
“Am I supposed to see you as an inconvenience?”
“I’m not your responsibility.”
“No. You’re not. We have a relationship and I don’t mind doing things for you.”
“You’re not my boyfriend.”
You didn’t mean to say it, but you sure as hell were thinking it.
It feels good to say, like stretching a sore muscle beyond its limits or pressing into a bruise until you get past the ache. Sometimes when things hurt, it’s best to feel the pain and move on.
He looks absolutely perplexed, the lines between his brows only ditching deeper.
“Is that what this is about?”
“Oh my god, Spencer, no, I don’t care—”
“Because earlier at the bookstore I asked you if I was being an asshole and—”
“I do not give a fuck about earlier at the fucking bookstore!”
It’s too late to be yelling, but he doesn’t scold you. He just sort of looks at you, like you’re something mildly unpleasant. It makes you feel worse.
A long moment goes by.
“Fine. I’ll take you home.”
You let him brush past you, nothing more than a breeze on your shoulders as he disappears from the darkened bedroom. For a moment, you can’t follow him. All you can do is stand there and try to contain that sour, stinging, crying feeling in your eyes and nose because there’s no reason for you to be crying right now.
From the living room, he calls, rather abrasively, “Are you coming?”
“Yes,” you huff, and it is as wavering as it is insolent, so obviously the only word holding back a full-fledged deluge of tears.
One minute. One minute to sniffle and take deep breaths and wipe abashedly under your eyes because you refuse to be dramatic about this. Refuse to get over-emotional. You will not let it matter this much to you.
When you decide you can show your face without making a scene, you march out of his bedroom and straight past where he’s leaning against the kitchen counter, keys in hand, to the front door.
He doesn’t move. You burn smoking holes into the dark wood of the door with your eyes, and the two of you are apparently at an impasse.
“I’m ready,” you eventually snap, always the impatient one between the two of you, casting a sharp glance over your shoulder.
“I’m not.”
“You said you would—”
“I know what I said,” Spencer cuts you off and shuts you up, “and I changed my mind. I’d prefer to talk about it before I take you home.”
By the time he finishes the sentence you’re already wrestling your phone from the depths of your bag in search of a ride sharing app.
“Okay, well I’m done talking because I don’t think there’s anything to talk about, so—”
“No, you’re done talking because this is what you do. You can never admit it when you want something because that would mean acknowledging that you’re a human being with emotions, and that’s too scary for you.”
Surely you misheard him. You turn around, a deep frown contorting your features.
“Excuse me?”
He only looks at you in that expectant, knowing way of his.
“It’s too scary so you run away. You’d rather burn your relationships to the ground and rebuild them with a new person every time than actually let someone in.”
“You don’t know me!” You yell.
“Do you actually think that’s true?” Spencer says, pushing off his perch against the counter, voice shrilling and raised slightly as he gets visibly agitated. “You think I’ve spent hours upon hours with you and I don’t know you at all?”
“You have no idea what I’m like in a relationship because this isn’t one. You have no fucking idea what I want, so do not presume to,” you seethe.
“You want a relationship. You wanted my friends to know you and you didn’t tell me that because you’re fucking terrified of the fact that I do know you. You can’t stand the idea that regardless of how many times you tell yourself it’s just sex, you have been vulnerable with me, and you’ve told me things you’ve never told anyone before, like why your last three relationships really ended, and how you constantly self-sabotage when you’re on the verge of getting what you want because you think you don’t deserve it.”
“Shut up!”
“No. I’m not just going to let you walk away from me like you did everyone else who could’ve ever cared about you because I know once you walk out that door you’ll stop responding to my calls and texts and I’ll never see you again, which is a juvenile pattern and completely unsustainable if you don’t want to keep pushing people away for the rest of your life!”
“God, Spencer, stop!” You sob, staggering back like you’ve been stabbed.
The urgency, the raw, desperate scratch of your voice, stops him in his tracks.
Every place an arrow penetrated a chink in your armor aches, and it hurts so much worse because he knew exactly where they were. You don’t know when or how it happened, but he’s right. Despite your most valiant efforts, Spencer Reid knows you. Somehow he crept in and grew over every limb like ivy. It’s crawled over your feet and up your legs and it’s keeping you there, rooted in place in his apartment, sobbing silently into the crook of your arm because you feel utterly paralyzed with fear.
Just as he’d said.
It’s silent for a long stretch of time, unquantifiable the same way the distance between the beach and the horizon is unquantifiable. It’s sprawling and infinite and desolate. The only relief from the drowning quiet is the occasional gulp of air or gasp from you which furthers your humiliation.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer finally whispers, soft and unsure like rays of weak sunlight over staggered tides, in the grey morning after a raging storm. It’s an attempt. It’s earnest and afraid.
The energy radiating off of him is so tangible that you can sense his desire to come near. To hold you. But that would be your worst nightmare come to fruition. This—this warbling and crying in front of him in silence in his dark apartment is god-awful enough. But to be comforted? For him to bear witness up close and personal to your humility and your ugly, jagged pieces—that inspires true catatonia. That is everything he said you were afraid of, and he was right.
You resent your human nature, and the fact that you care how his friends look at you and that it stung when they did so with little more than apathy. You hate that you care that he hasn’t told them about you. You hate that you feel so unimportant—because more than anything, you want to be fine with being unimportant.
You want to be fine. Constantly.
You hate that you feel. You hate that you care.
But you always have. And so fucking deeply.
Somehow, Spencer Reid is the only one who has ever noticed.
Eventually, his self-restraint snaps and he surges forward at the same time as you take a shuddering inhale and step back.
“Please don’t touch me,” you whisper. Afraid that if he did, his fingers would only sink into your flesh like decaying fruit. That you would disintegrate in his hands, and he’d finally see you’d been rotten the whole time.
He speaks softly, holding his hands up to show you he’s not a threat.
“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry.”
“I need to go home.”
“I’ll—”
“No. I don’t want a ride. I’ll get a car.” You speak quietly. Efficiently. There’s no point in pretending this doesn’t feel catastrophic anymore.
His brows furrow. Like a moth to flame, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he draws nearer again.
“I’m not comfortable with you on the street at this hour.”
“I’ll wait in the lobby,” you insist, pleading, a wounded animal, because he doesn’t seem to understand how every casual notion of kindness is a violence, how he’s ripping into you and making it so you’ll never be able to put yourself back together. He can’t be kind like you’re easy to be kind to.
If you’re easy to be kind to, you are just as easy to hurt. Accepting that kindness is a sort of vulnerability you feel you can’t afford right now.
Another moment of silence, of stillness, as if you’re both bolted to the ground where you stand.
When he speaks it’s a blow to the chest because you’ve made him cry too.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, quietly, and a venomous self-hatred drips down your throat. Because you’re doing it again.
Maybe this is all you will ever be.
You fail to stifle a sob and Spencer steps closer still, saying your name desperately and so quietly like it’s his last rite.
And you try. You try harder than you ever have to stay in one place, to get a hold of your vibrating and to swallow all those slithery feelings and ignore every alarm telling you to panic when he reaches out to touch your arm because it’s never safe to let people in. But when his hand finally brushes you, it’s like a cow prod. You jolt backward.
“I can’t, I’m sorry,” you whisper all in one harrowed breath, and there’s so much you’d like to say—you’re right, about everything, you do know me, you know what I want, I tried, I’m ashamed—but none of it matters. None of it is enough. He’s backed you into a corner of your own making, and the only way out is by pushing him aside even if it hurts you both.
So you don’t say anything else. You leave him there, in the dark of his own apartment, and you disappear down the hall.
Maybe this is all you will ever be.
#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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