#and that ends with them having that heart to heart on the trolley deciding how they're going to save falin again

[pagesofkenna]

doing the math and i'm pretty sure chilchuck is getting his bow back next week, and we might finally get to meet the canaries (the elves), if not next week then definitely the week after!

[evilminji]

Been Havin Thoughts™ >.>

About the Tragedy of SI-OC born too late to change anything...

About KNOWING. Exactly what's going to go wrong. Potentially how to fix it. Having a head crammed FULL of hundreds of authors of Fix-Its, Meta discussions, Tumblr posts. Uncertain that it truely WOULD change anything... but? Plans within plans. Possibilities. The options and ability to do SOMETHING. All there.

All useless.

Because... Because, you? You are a child.

Born too late too make a difference. The machinations of monsters are already well underway and it is far too late to stop that trolley, bearing down on you. No. No, now?

Now you get to make a CHOICE.

The needs of the many? The needs of the few? Yourself? Who do you try and save? Who CAN you save? From this sinking ship. This slow, painful, tragedy? No one's going to listen to a child. Not really. Not TRUELY. You are merely... a Witness.

There are SO MANY Scenarios!!!

But! For this? The one that currently haunts me?

Force Nexus~☆ under the Temple~☆! What COULD it do? I wonder?

Imagine it. You are a Youngling. A Temple Child. You KNOW what is coming. Order 66. The suffering. The Death. An empire built on the enslavement of good, loyal men. The genocide of Jedi. Every night you struggle to sleep. Toss and turn. Look at the tiny sleeping faces of children in you Creche... and you KNOW.

You KNOW.

Just as you KNOW... that no one will listen to you. You did try. Carefully. And you are glad you did. Your trust was betrayed. They did not listen. The end barrels closer and closer. The Force WEEPS in your mind, like a wound hidden in smoke. You... you have to decide.

Save yourself? Run? You could. You might survive.

Take the infants? Bundle them away in the night? You'd have to time it just right. Or they'd chase you to the ends of the galaxy.

Or... or do you do... THAT?

The thing that scares you. The one your not sure your brave enough to do. The one that... that would be JEDI of you? You are scared. Just a child. Thought... thought you would have longer...

In your heart... already know. Exactly what you're going to do.

So you sneak out. It's far too easy. With so many minders, away at War. Hang around the Senate. Well away from the Sith. You... you just need the inevitable to happen. Hate yourself, for preying on the Vode. Sure enough? Some asshole orders a good man to be "decommissioned" over imagined offense.

He is escorted away by his brothers.

You follow.

Let them grieve. Before quietly interjecting. You need his help. To save his brothers. Since he is to die either way... would he mind dying with you? You hate asking. What choice does he HAVE now, really? He is condemned. You feel like a monster.

When he asks if you are CERTAIN it will help his brothers, you think of the records you have read. Yes. Yes it will.

He does not look at you, like you are a monster. There is a grieving understanding between instead. You leave at once. Back to the barracks. Things left behind he will not be coming back for. Everytime you leave the temple, you are much the same.

Now you decend.

Down and down. Level by level. Past where the light no longer reaches, past breathable air. To the old temple. Long forgotten. Desecrated by the Sith. You are a youngling. You can not purify this place. But oh... oh you can try. Any spark of Light in this darkness. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, made of stars.

Down and towards the Nexus.

It rattles your bones. Aches in your teeth. Colors beyond color, time outside of time. Every step becomes a struggle. Until it is too much. You must be carried. Your trooper does not mind. Helps you stay present, attached to your skin. Luminous as you are.

You... You get there.

It Is BEAUTIFUL.

The Force is HERE. And Here flows the Force. Everything One. Your lines, simple matter, begin to break. How... how could you possibly care? It is... no. The hand in your's reminds you. Your reason for all of this. The Vode. Their fate. You look to the man who has become your friend. Would weep for him, if you could. But... but it is too late now.

For both of you.

You are One with the Force. And the Force is One with you.

In the starlight, the fracturing, of what's left of your brain... you PULL. The chip. The advanced aging. The shroud the Sith has pulled around himself. All... all things are possible, in the Force. ALL THINGS. Perhaps not all... with flesh and bone... but? With the Force? The... The Vode will be free.

What is distance, mere matter, to The Force?

We are everywhere and nowhere. Everything and nothing. Our power is infinte and killing us. And... and that is okay. It does not hurt. The Light... the Light is BEAUTIFUL. We did this on our own two feet.

We are one with the Force.

And that is okay.

[sepublic]

Raine Whispers’ story feels defined by a constant Trolley Problem, one where they’re often forced to make hard decisions. It’s such a difficult life; The first was having to cut ties with Eda, which would’ve definitely worsened Eda’s mental health, but ultimately Eda’s was getting worse anyway because she refused Raine’s help, so Raine had to look after themselves for once.

Then there’s their role as a rebel, while balancing that as a coven head; I can imagine how these roles often went at odds with one another, how Raine had to stomach a lot by reassuring themselves, anyone else insincere could’ve and would’ve taken this position; But with me here, I can do something good for the rebellion here. Raine had to render their palisman Fiddlesticks inanimate as a violin to hide them in plain sight from Belos’ hunger, to a point where Fiddlesticks couldn’t help at all even if they wanted to.

Raine tells Eda she has to commit to being a BATT, and then have to make the hard call to commit a murder-suicide with their lost love to take down who they believe to be enemies, even if that includes a childhood friend; Because otherwise, they’re doomed anyway, so may as well take a bite out of the coven to make others’ lives easier.

But then they see that photo, and realize; Eda has kids who need her. And suddenly Raine can’t go through with taking out key coven targets because they remember the innocents they’re doing this for, the people who need help; Those are always the priority and Raine has to call off the Requiem, even if it means being captured and not making any progress with the rebellion… So they believe.

And you see that compassion in their debut episode pay off; It leads to Raine realizing Darius and Eberwolf are allies, finding a real collaboration. But then Raine has to deal with another moral dilemma: Lying to Eda about their memories in order to keep attacking the coven from within, and protecting her and those kids they made the previous call for to begin with. They have to grapple with possibly being a hypocrite, because didn’t Eda do the same to them? But Eda almost died when Raine let her in, and the stakes are so different here.

Raine scouting Kikimora’s vulnerability that episode might come across as predatory, but what other choice do they have? The oppressed have a right to violence, the oppressor make it so only one can survive, and in the end anyone will have to side with those who weren’t the aggressor. Likewise, they have to stomach Terra’s oversight to give Darius and Eberwolf cover, with those two unsuspected.

The pressure begins to culminate with Eda calling Raine for help, and at that point Raine realizes they DID make a mistake; Not letting Eda in on the rebellion lead to a lot of isolation and desperation on her and the kids’ end, not knowing if they could do something about the Day of Unity. Because now Luz and Eda are in trouble, the people Raine was keeping secrets for; So Raine organizes a rescue with Darius and Eberwolf’s help.

Then we get to the draining spell, Eda needs the sigil to sabotage the ritual. Raine has to make that hard call, has to make that sacrifice because it’s what Eda’s choosing to do, this is for the greater good right? But then Luz pulls on their sleeve, and asks Raine; Please keep Eda safe. Raine had let Eda go for those kids, they let Eda back in for this kid especially, and now they’re letting Eda die when this kid is asking for her to be safe??? This was more than their own feelings now; Raine is at odds with their morals and the greater good, and they let Eda go up those stairs…

But when the opportunity presents itself, when they’re dying and the world is burning anyway; There is no greater good left, they’re doomed regardless, so Raine decides to save Eda so she can survive, at least. For their own heart and Luz and King’s. And that’s when Raine’s willingness to undo their mistake keeping secrets finally, inadvertently saves everyone; It lead to the kids crossing paths with Kikimora (whose importance was correctly clocked by Raine) and when they go after her to save Luz, King gets Kikimora to help him free the Collector to stop the Day of Unity!

But it’s never enough; Raine and Eda can’t even savor each other together, being alive together. Raine has to let Eda go when the Collector kidnaps King, because those kids need Eda more than Raine and they’ll always make that priority. But after everything, they’ll get to enjoy being with Eda as well…

Raine had to deal with Terra’s ‘care’ and then Belos possessing them, they’ve had to suffer an intimacy. For a moment it came down to only Raine to stop Belos from possessing the Titan, Raine trying their damnedest even as their body is trying not to collapse it’s just. Ugh they keep trying, even after one plan fails they keep finding a way to salvage this and make it work! And finally it does, people come in to help them, those same kids and their mother, after all Raine’s sacrificed for them. And after all of the suffering and indignity and atrocity to bear, they finally get to kill the bastard responsible and smash his brains against the dirt!

Like any Trolley Problem there is no one, easy solution most of the time, that’s the whole point; Sometimes Raine has to break someone’s heart, overlook injustice, etc., for the greater good. All they can do is try their best and remember who they’re making these sacrifices for, and hope it works out in the end. Raine had to suffer such a burden for others with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

But they’ve always cared about the ‘lesser’ good, the little people and the individuals. So the best they could do amidst the burden was to just always remind themselves why and who they’re doing this for, and to always come back to that in the end. And it’s why the Demon Realm is saved, it’s why everyone lives, it’s why Raine gets to be with Eda when the fire has burnt itself out. After all of the sacrifice of their conscience and/or peace of mind, they get to rest too.

And that ability to see the bigger picture while still remembering the details is exactly why Raine is fit to be a leader, as a member of the Boiling Isles Council. Between the framing with Belos’ statue and the crown banner, Raine is someone the isles can trust to do their best for the little guy, and they’re no longer alone for it; Not since breaking up with Eda or starting their rebellion, or having to deal with Belos possessing them and the Titan. Raine’s received their own help too.

It’s extra insane as well, because Raine has stage fright; They’re a major public figure and going to have to deal with all eyes on them to be held accountable and they did it anyway, like all of the other the difficult decisions. They’ll bear getting on stage to say or play what they need to for everyone else to hear. Even after everything Raine is still making that perpetual sacrifice, but it’s such a smaller one, it’s something they can learn to get over, and they’ve gotten so much in return by seeing their world heal. They deserve everything. Truly the Titan’s strongest soldier, down to wearing her skull with pride.

[justwinginglife]

This Time, It's Different

Dedicated to the only person who will read this, my bestie @minasfwoopyponytail, yall I know I be doin Soshiro all the time, but I got on the Ranpo track cuz we were talking about Ranpo being in our top favs for BSD so I gotta show him some love today (I am so sorry that I bought Chuuya, Dazai, and Akutugawa merch and forgot about you Ranpo my love, this is my apology fic for you).

You were never good at lying. 

It was inconvenient in almost all aspects of your life, but you never thought your ineptitude would be the reason someone finally fell in love with you.

After many failed attempts at bending the truth, after attempting to tell your aunt you liked the socks she got for your birthday and instead unknowingly wrinkling your nose at them and breaking her heart, after attempting to tell your boss that you were busy and couldn’t come to work on a Saturday and when she asked follow up questions about your supposed plans you found yourself flushed and floundering, after attempting to tell your ex that you enjoyed meeting his family but then immediately declining any further interaction with them, after multiple awkward interactions and even more disastrous encounters, you decided to give up on lying. It wasn’t for you.

So you resigned yourself to the fact that you would have to tell nothing but the whole, honest truth for the rest of your life. Your lackluster lies may cause catastrophe otherwise. 

So when you joined up with the Armed Detective Agency, when you rejected Dazai’s advances by saying, “No offense Dazai, but I’m sure you say that to all the ladies, and while I’m flattered, I’m not into womanizers,” when you offered methods of stress relief to Kunikida because he “always looked like the world was ending,” when you asked when Furukawa would be retiring because you were concerned about him “overworking himself in his old age,” when half the detective agency was against you from your first day, Ranpo Edogawa found himself half in love with you already. 

He’d never met a person who didn’t -or just couldn’t- lie, even among his fellow coworkers, and he was at least intrigued by you if nothing else. He found himself eager to see just how far you were willing to go to continue telling the truth. 

Going forward, you often found him tagging along on missions with you, peeking over your shoulder while you worked, listening to everything intently, even despite your other coworkers telling you that Ranpo almost never went out of his way to be this personally invested in anything, just because he wanted to hear you talk, to see if you really told everyone everything you thought all the time. And to ask you questions. Lots of questions. 

Most of them were controversial because he wanted to see if you’d stick to your opinions even if you were in the minority, some of them were philosophical because he wanted to know the way your mind worked, and a few of them were just downright absurd because he was Ranpo. 

“Okay. So. You want to know if I would divert the trolley to save the lives of five by killing one?”

“Yes, and when you’re done with that, do you think that dress makes that girl’s butt look fat?”

“Mr. Edogawa, sir, I really don’t see how this is relevant to the case.”

“Oh it’s relevant, alright. Answer the question, I’m your superior and I wanna know.”

“Um. Alright. Well clearly it makes more logical sense to sacrifice the life of the one for the good of the many, just mathematically speaking, and yes, that dress is very unappealing on her, I don’t know why she went with white.” 

“Agreed, the white is hideous, you pass my tests. For now.”

And so this bizarre relationship of yours continued.

Ranpo would wait for you to finish up cases, would wait for you to finish in the bathroom, would wait for you to finish up dinner, just so he could pick your brain, just so he could amuse himself with your answers. But the more time he spent with you, the more his reason changed for spending the time. He was always attentive, had always had a keen eye, but when you were around, it seemed every last bit of his attention had devoted itself to you. He knew how long it took for you to finish going to the bathroom, so -much to your embarrassment- he always knew what you were doing in the bathroom depending on the length of time. He knew how long it took for you to eat and which foods took you longer amounts of time to eat them. He knew when it was your time of the month, he knew what you craved during said time, he knew the way you’d react when he brought you said craving. He knew almost everything about you and it still wasn’t enough. 

One day, he diverted from his usual barrage of insane questions and he started asking about you: what was your favorite food, where were you born, did you have any pets growing up, what did you like to do outside of work? By now, you had gathered from all his previous questions that he was just having fun interrogating you, but you enjoyed talking with him, so you answered all his questions regardless, personal or otherwise. You were unsure how telling him your favorite color was supposed to entertain him the way his usual ridiculous questions did, but you told him it was green anyway. He brought you a bundle of kiwis the next day because he couldn’t figure out what else was green to give you. You were unaware of the fruit’s connection to his question about your favorite color but to him, he’d pretty much just asked you out. 

When you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, because you were unaware he had feelings for you, and unaware he had just presented them to you through said kiwis, he pouted for the remainder of the day.

You couldn’t figure out why the man who had spent every waking second of your career with the ADA by your side had suddenly started avoiding you. You couldn’t figure it out, and it was killing you. Little did he know, you had also started memorizing details about him, and the way his laugh sounded, the way his lips curved into a smile, the way his fingers pushed up his glasses, the way he did anything and everything, the way he said anything and everything had you craving your next interaction before the previous one had even ended. And you couldn’t take the silence he had now forced you into. So you went on a hunt for him.

You found him sulking on the rooftop. 

You plopped down beside him without saying a word and when you could tell he might be preparing to run again, preparing to plunge your relationship into further silence, you handed him a Ramune. He froze. And then he snatched the drink out of your hand like it was just another Tuesday for the two of you.

“You remembered my favorite flavor, huh? Not too shabby for a second rate detective.” He chugged down the drink.

You laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. “If I’m such a second rate detective, how did I know you’d be on the roof?”

He shrugged. “Got lucky, I guess.”

You bit your lip and for the first time in years, considered lying. But you couldn’t do it. “Actually, I didn’t just ‘get lucky.’ I knew you’d be on the roof. You always come to the roof when you’re upset. I notice more than you think. So tell me- why are you upset?”

He sighed. “You’re not into me. No one’s ever into me.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

He sighed again, this time more exasperated. “I gave you a gift, but you didn’t accept my feelings.”

You blinked again. “The… kiwis?? Ranpo. You always give me gifts. You gave me strawberries during my last period even though Yosano told you to get me chocolate because you know I like fruits better than chocolate. You gave me limited edition tickets to a play that was already sold out because you’d preordered it when you heard me vaguely mention that I liked it. You are always giving me things, and they’re perfect, and I love it, and I appreciate it, but how was I supposed to know this time was something different?”

He tapped a finger on his chin. “Yeah okay fine. I see that now.”

You inched up closer to him. “So… this time is different though?”

He suddenly blushed. “Yeah… this time it’s different. This time I wanted… well I wanted…”

“Me?”

He’s suddenly quiet and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like this. You’ve rendered him speechless and it’s impossible not to find it adorable.

You kiss him.

If he was speechless before, now he’s speechless and breathless.

“I just… you just…so we’re?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Yeah. We are.”

“We’re… together?” He squeaks out.

“I’d like us to be.”

He nods vigorously. “I-I’d like us to be too!” He blurts out.

You kiss him again and this time he savors the feeling of your lips melding with his. This time he kisses you back with fervor, with passion he never knew he could feel. This time, he’s all yours.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I am too lazy to write a longer fic that delves into their relationship after this, but I did want to write a lil drabble about it, so I will be posting it here.

[theemporium]

Hiya!

I'm really new to this, so I apologize in advance for everything. Your writing is so amazing and you have me forming crushes on men that I never would have even *thought* about.

Anyways, I was wondering if I could request reader talking to remus or sirius (or both🤭) about having kids? Like, the reader really wants them but doesn't want to make the guy uncomfortable

Also maybe some spice?

Idk, sorry if this is weird❤

-🤞

omg you're so sweet, this isn't weird at all!! thank you so much and thank you for requesting!🖤

.

It had never been a massive goal for you to be a mother, not in the way it was for others. 

But there had always been a passing thought in your head—a background assumption you had always assumed no matter which part of your life you were in—that you would eventually have kids of your own. Whether it was adoption or birth, you always imagined that somewhere in your future, you would have kids of your own to love and dote upon and raise. 

You don’t even understand why the thought had returned. Or, at least that was what you told yourself when you knew very well what was setting off your baby fever this time around. You had been over at the Potter household the day before, visiting Lily and a newborn Harry and something in your heart just longed for one of your own. 

Maybe it was his chubby cheeks or the gurgled noises he would make. Maybe it was the way he smiled up at you or the way he happily clapped his hands at his mother’s voice. Maybe it was the fact he was so darn cute and your best friend was telling you how every single pain of pregnancy was so worth it in the end just to see that face at the end of it all. 

Ever since that visit, the idea had been haunting you every waking moment and it was starting to overwhelm you. 

You would be making breakfast in the morning and suddenly thoughts about having a small baby giggling in a high chair beside you entered your mind. You could be doing a grocery shop and you’d think about having a baby in the trolley with you as you made your way through the aisles. You thought about beach days with the baby, and the cute little outfits you could put them in and—

It was all you could fucking think about. 

And you didn’t even know how to bring up the idea to your boyfriends. 

Talks of the future were never rare between the three of you. You had talked about living together (which you already were) but buying a bigger place. You had talked about marriage, about how to make the bond work between the three of you if it was something you wanted to do. You had spoken about getting pets even, many jokes passed between the three of you that you needed a third dog to keep you company when both of them were away. 

But children had never been one of the conversations. 

You feared it was something neither of them would want. Between both of their strained relationships with their families, that was enough to make you doubt. Sirius had opened up more than once that he feared becoming like his parents. Meanwhile, Remus had opened up about fearing passing on his condition to any children he had, if he could even have children that was. 

You feared that if you said you wanted a child, it would be a dealbreaker for your boys so you kept it to yourself, even if it was killing you from the inside. 

Both boys knew something was up instantly. The way you jumped at their touches and didn’t seem to initiate affection as much as you usually did. It was odd and they couldn’t work out what was wrong until they had decided to confront you about it.

“For the fiftieth time, there’s nothing wrong,” you insisted as you wandered around the room, picking up random trinkets and setting them somewhere else before repeating the cycle. They both stood in the room with you, watching your every movement and their eyes felt heavy on you. 

“We don’t believe you,” Sirius said, frowning as you started to reorganise the bookshelf for the tenth time. “Love, you know you can tell us anything, right?” 

“Of course,” you breathed out. 

“So tell us,” Remus sighed, a crease between his brows as he reached for you, halting your movements before you started shifting around the furniture. “Darling, please.” 

You looked at his concerned expression and you knew Sirius’ would be no different, and the thought made your chest tighten. You didn’t like lying to your boys or hiding things from them. And the fear consumed you for the last week, whispering things in your head as you distanced yourself from them but you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I want a baby!” you blurted out and both boys froze. 

“Like…a random child off the street or…?” Sirius questioned, frowning a little as he trailed off. 

“No! No,” you blushed in embarrassment as you let out a sigh. “I want children. I want to have babies with you two.” 

Neither of them said anything. 

“Fuck, this is why I didn’t want to say anything,” you groaned, the panic rising in your chest as you ran a shaky hand through your hair. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured and we haven’t even spoke about it but I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s driving me mad and—” 

However, you failed to notice the look both boys shared over your head.

“You want a baby?” Remus asked, his voice a little deeper than it was moments ago.

You nodded your head. 

“You want to carry our children, love?” Sirius asked this time, slipping into the spot behind you as he wound his arms around you. 

You nodded again.

“Say it,” Remus muttered, his eyes darkening as he watched you gulp.

“I want your babies,” you whispered to them.

“Fuck,” Sirius groaned from behind you, his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt and his hands splayed across your stomach. “That’s the hottest thing you have ever said to us.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, you want—”

“Yeah, we do,” Remus grumbled as his fingers wound in your hair, tugging your head back as he stepped closer to you. “Fuck, sweetheart, you should’ve told us earlier.” 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut as Sirius pressed kisses along your neck.

“Just gotta make up for lost time,” Remus grinned, and it was a little sadistic but that just made your thighs clench together in anticipation. 

“Gonna put a baby in you, love,” Sirius growled against your skin. “Gonna knock our girl up good.”

.

[annaelizabethhenry1]

Echoes from the Past - Chapter 3

Apologies for the long delay in posting this chapter, but the holidays and end of year work stuff was such a huge time drain. Hope the wait was worth it! If you've missed the earlier chapters you can find chapter one here

Chapter Three

All hushed and still within the house Without – all wind and driving rain But something whispers to my mind Through rain and through wailing wind                                             Never again Never again? Why not again? Memory has power as real as thine                                                  - Emily Brontë

David Cartwright woke early, blinking and attempting to bring the dim room into focus. He reached over to his left to grab his glasses off the nightstand. Finally, after putting them on things came into view. His heart sank. This wasn’t home. Yes, there was a wardrobe of his things and his favourite slippers were on the floor next to this bed, but this was an institution. A place to tuck away a problem you didn’t want to deal with anymore. Sighing, he reached for the picture frame on the night table. It was of him and River taken a few years ago almost around the time he began his training for MI-5. Rose would’ve been proud, but concerned. She always chided David for training River since he was a boy, but he couldn’t help it. They boy was sharp and was good at being stealthy, all qualities he’d need to be successful.

Smiling, David thought back to around the time River’s tenth birthday. While he couldn’t remember a damn thing from yesterday, he still remembered things like this so vividly. How the day was unseasonably warm for late April and how bright the sun shone on their walk to the village to pick up some things for Rose and the cake she was baking especially for River’s birthday in a couple of days.

“So young man, you’re going to hit double digits soon. Excited?”

River nodded and smiled. “Yeah, it’s so cool. Next thing you know I’ll be old enough to drive!”

“Ha! That’s not for a while, my boy. Though if you get a good grade on that maths test this week maybe I’ll let you sit in the driver’s seat to see how it feels and I can explain all the levers and knobs.”

“Really?” River asked excited at the prospect of feeling more grown-up.

“Yes, really.”

Once at the market, David nudged River, “What did I teach you?”

“Take the whole space in. Notice everything, don’t have tunnel vision,” River answered.

“Excellent. What have you noticed so far?”

“There’s a man over there stealing grapes by eating them to the left. Ms. Hamilton is busy gossiping at the register to our neighbour Mrs. Farley and it looks like the rolls in the bin are leftovers from yesterday since there are hardly any left.”

“Very good.  Anything else?”

“The butcher is chatting up that young woman with the little girl in the trolley.”

“Perfect!” David said smiling brightly. 

They picked up the groceries from the shop and came in through the side door nearest the stairs and heard Rose talking to someone.

“Rose? We’re back.”

“Oh, excellent, David. There’s a special guest in the kitchen for River.”

River looked at his grandfather, David shrugged.

They entered the kitchen together to find Isobel sitting at the table which caused his heart to sink. He hoped she wasn’t here to take River away. He had promised Rose he’d never allow it, but then he wasn’t yet attached to the boy. David loved River with every fibre of his being. River was his whole world along with Rose.

“River! You’re so tall!” Isobel said smiling and looking up at him from her chair.

River just stood there with a confused look on his face.

Isobel got up and went over to him to give him a hug which he didn’t fully return. David could tell River was wary, as well he should be under the circumstances. She might be his daughter, but he was disappointed with her as a mother. It took full year for them to bring River around, make him feel comfortable and safe and loved. Now she decided to show up unannounced and make a muck of things. 

David looked to Rose who shot him a worried look.

“Yes, well boys do shoot up when they’re growing, Isobel. It’s been three years,” David said.

“I know. How’s my chap?”

“Fine.” River said shyly avoiding his mother’s eyes.

“Well that’s not the welcome I expected.”

David and Rose looked at each other again knowingly.

“Sorry, mum. I…wasn’t expecting you.”

“I thought I’d surprise you for your birthday!”

River looked less than pleased. David knew that because he could see the look in his eyes change from happy content boy to the scared and cautious one that arrived on his doorstep three years ago.

“Isobel has just returned from Malta. She’s thinking of coming back to England, David,” Rose said.

“Oh, really. Well I’m surprised you would want to given you enjoy living aboard so much in the warmer climes,” David said glaring at Isobel.

“Yes, well I’m not certain yet on what I want to do next, but I thought it would be nice to see River,” Isobel said stroking River’s arm affectionately.

River shrunk back from her touch. David could tell River wanted to retreat to his grandmother’s side for protection as he eyed her, but all Rose could do was smile back at River.

“Why don’t you take your mum to see your room, River. I’m sure she’d like to see it,” David suggested.

River of course obliged and took his mother upstairs.

“What the devil is she doing here, Rose?”

“I don’t know. She showed up in a taxi with some luggage. I was stunned,” Rose said getting up from the kitchen table.

“You had no idea?”

“No, she only sends River postcards and letters. I had no clue. Maybe she’s run out of money”

“Well if she has, I’ll gladly give her some to get her out of here. Did you see how unsettled River looked?”

“Yes.”

“Like you said Rose, he’s ours now. She’s no good for him. “

Rose nodded.

Later that evening after a very strained dinner, David took Isobel to the side while Rose did the washing up and River went upstairs to get ready for bed.

“Isobel you can’t have River back.”

“What? He’s my son.”

“You left him here with hardly anything one afternoon to run off to Spain with a man who is now long forgotten. I promised your mother, he stays here.”

“No. I want another chance.”

“Isobel you had your chance. He’s our boy now. You forfeited your rights that day.”

“Mum would never agree,” Isobel said.

“Yes, I would,” Rose said re-entering the room, drying her hands on a tea towel. “You abandoned him on our doorstep and haven’t seen him in three years. You don’t get to pick him up like a toy you suddenly want to play with again. He’s a sweet and loving boy who deserves more than your half-hearted interest. He doesn’t need you to discard him again when you get bored of him. He deserves more.”

“Rose is right Isobel. By all means spend time with him here, but I will not allow you take him,” David said.

While River was quite good at remaining unseen his grandfather spied him peering from around the corner towards the end of the conversation and River darted off when he had been ‘made’.

Late that night after everyone was in bed, River went downstairs as the fire in the study still blazed and his grandfather sat in the near dark room, clutching a crystal tumbler.

In a small voice River said, “Grandad?”

David turned to see River clad in his cosy flannel pyjamas with no slippers – better for creeping about soundlessly which River had achieved. “Yes, my boy.”

“I want to stay here with you and Nan.”

“Of course, you do and you will. I’m sorry you overhead that business earlier. I saw you lurking.”

“I should’ve hidden better.”

“You were upset and not thinking. But do remember there may be a time when you’re emotional and have to keep your head,” David said.

“Yes, I know. When it’s important I won’t let you down, Grandad.”

David smiled. “I know you won’t, River.”

And when it did matter River didn’t let David down.

“He came for me that night…he made it better...” David mumbled as the past merged with the recent present.

David’s heart swelled. He did train River well and he did make him proud no matter what the Park thought of his grandson. He was too good even for them.

**************

River woke slowly Saturday morning, blinking as the room came into focus, a sliver of light peeped through the curtains in the middle. He moved to get up but his head throbbed. “Ugh,” he said plopping his head back down on the feather pillow. He glanced over at the night table with the empty whisky bottle and glass, the evidence of his solo drinking stint and his pounding head. River rubbed his eyes and yawned. He had to pull himself together. He was in dire need of aspirin and coffee.

Still in his clothes from yesterday, he hoisted himself from his grandparents’ bed. The contents of the box strewn about him. He staggered to the loo and was about to go in when knocking on the door left him groaning. Who would be here so early? The knocking continued. “Coming!” River shouted.

Bounding down the stairs as quick as his aching head would allow, he ripped open the door to find a surprised looking Catherine Standish holding a box of pastries. “Catherine?” River asked.

“River did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s after eleven in the morning.”

“Shit – is it? I was up late and fell asleep going through some stuff.”

“It smells more like you were going through a bottle.”

“Yes, I had a little something to drink.”

She cocked her head, staring up at him with her laser vision eyes, assessing him. “Judging by the state of you, I’d say it’s not a little. Let me make you some coffee.”

River extended his arm welcoming her into the house. As she’d been here before she knew where the kitchen was located and went straight to work. He wondered what Nan would have made of Catherine. She’d like that she was tidy and considerate and well organized if nothing else.

“Why don’t you get freshened up while I make you breakfast. It’ll help.”

River nodded, went upstairs to shower and change and popped some pain tablets. True to her word when he returned to the kitchen Catherine was sliding scrambled eggs onto a plate and he could smell coffee brewing. “Everything smells great. Thank you, Catherine,” he said shyly not making eye contact with her.

Catherine smiled. “Of course. This is such a hard time for you River. I want to help. Eat up before it gets cold,” She urged. “I’ll tidy upstairs.”

Shit, he hadn’t tried to hide the whisky bottle as he didn’t think she’d go upstairs. “Catherine you don’t have to!” he shouted as she went up the steps.

“No, it’s fine I don’t mind!” she shouted back.

River felt uncomfortable. He didn’t want to let yet another person down, especially after she pulled him to the side a few weeks ago realizing he had been coming to work hungover a little too often. Catherine warned him this is how drinking problems started. He sighed and dug into his eggs and once done poured himself coffee and one for her as well.

“River really?” Catherine held up the empty whisky bottle in one hand.

“I know. I don’t know how it happened. I was looking through all those things in the box and time got away from me and I fell asleep.”

“More like passed out. Do you want to be like Lamb? That’s where I see this heading, River!” Catherine chucked the whisky bottle in the recycle bin and it made an angry sound as it hit bottom. She huffed over to clean the crystal glass he had used last night at the sink.

“I made you some coffee,” River offered as he brought both his empty plate and a steaming mug to her.

“Thank you,” she grabbed the plate and fork and cleaned them vigorously.

“I am sorry. I had no intention of drinking that much last night. I found that box and it upset me and just brought so much back…” River said making eye contact this time.

Catherine put the plate and fork in the drainer on the sink. “I saw the things strewn across the bed. Did you make those for your grandparents?”

“Yes. I was surprised they saved all of it. Grandad never seemed sentimental.”

“Sometimes we can know people our whole life and never really know who they are because they don’t want to show us their true selves because they are afraid it will make them look weak.”

River broke in that moment. He’d never heard anything truer spoken about his grandfather. Months of dealing with his grandad and the fallout with his father and his mother’s lack of responsiveness about everything came washing over him in that bright, sunny kitchen at that very moment. He began to sob uncontrollably.

“Oh, River,” Catherine said putting the mug down she had only just accepted a moment before. She didn’t know what else to do but to embrace him. “Come here,” she put her arms around him and let him have a good cry. He had no one else and she was glad to be useful and supportive. She needed to save him from the demons that were creeping into his life where he thought drinking was the only answer.

After a couple of minutes, River broke away, “God, I’m so sorry, Catherine.” River wiped his face with the back of his hand. His blue eyes as sad as ever and so very bloodshot.

“No, don’t be sorry. We’re friends and friends support each other. Now, why don’t you freshen up and I’ll have my coffee and maybe we can go visit your grandfather?”

“Yeah, that would be great,” River turned to leave the kitchen, but turned back around. “Thank you for coming Catherine – you’re a real-life saver.”

Catherine smiled all the way to her eyes, she succeeded and made a difference and hopefully saved River. “Glad I could be here for you, River.”

*****************

River pulled up to the care home. Catherine got out of River’s car and grabbed her pastries from the backseat. They walked up the path and into the care home together and River lead her through to where the day room was but he didn’t see his grandfather. He spotted Orla helping a resident with her needlepoint.

“Orla, sorry but where’s my grandad?” he asked.

“Oh, River, hi…is this your…” Orla began as she looked over at Catherine.

“This my friend, Catherine. She knows my grandad. She looked after him recently,” River replied, cutting Orla off from assuming who Catherine was to him.

“Oh. He’s in his room. I think the stimulation in the common rooms are too much for him. Sylvie said he seemed better this morning and even asked for you,” Orla replied with a warm smile.

“Would you like a pastry?” Catherine offered.

“No, I’m good. I do appreciate it, though. I have some homemade shortbread waiting for me during my tea break.”

River smiled and motioned for Catherine to follow him.

“She’s a lovely young woman,” Catherine said as River guided her down the hallway towards David’s room.

“Yeah, she’s nice and seems to care a lot for the residents from what I can tell so far. Let’s hope he still wants to see me as things weren’t great yesterday when I left.”

“Sadly, that’s normal for someone with his condition. I hope I don’t upset him. I am worried about that as I’m not tied to the best memories he’s had,” Catherine said furrowing her brow and looking up at River.

“Nah, last time he saw you he seemed fine,” River said as he paused and peeped into his grandad’s room to find him in the chair by the window, practically where he left him yesterday but at least this time he had a book.

River knocked on the doorframe. “Grandad?” River said expectantly.

“Oh, River, my boy! That woman said you’d come and you did!” David smiled brightly at River who returned the gesture.

River crouched down to give his grandad a hug. He looked into his eyes when he pulled away and saw that old, familiar glimmer. He was cognizant for the time being which lifted River’s heart. He hoped it would last the whole visit. “Grandad, I brought Catherine. You remember her from when she looked after you.”

“Hi David, you stayed at my flat.”

“Oh, yes. You were with Lamb and Big Sam. How is Sam? I could always depend on him”

“Umm, David…” Catherine began.

“He used his flight fund to get away. Lamb got a postcard from him recently,” River lied. He wanted to spare his grandfather being the cause of Sam’s death. Plus, no need to change the tone of the visit unnecessarily.

“Hope it’s somewhere warm and tropical for his sake,” David said with a smile.

River wondered if there was a hell and if so, if people like Sam ended up there. He forced that thought from his mind given all the things he managed to get himself into since Slough House. “I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you!”

David chuckled at the old line he would tell River when he was too young to hear some of the more alarming spy stories David and the others at MI5 got up to back in the day.

A couple hours passed, including David having lunch and the pair even playing chess. David conceded that River could learn a lot from Catherine’s skills at the chessboard as she was a superior player. As the visit began to wind down River worried his grandfather would get upset when he left, as he always did as he wanted to go home with him.

“Knock, knock,” Orla said popping into the room, smiling.

“Oh, hey,” River said.

“She’s also better than you at chess.”

“Oh?” River asked confused.

“We played last night. You must be terrible if I’m better than you,” Orla said with cheeky grin.

River felt his cheeks warm. “Apparently I need to brush up on my chess skills from the sound of things.”

Catherine went to get her coat which alerted David to everyone’s imminent departure. “You’re not leaving me here still, River? Surely I’ve been here too long already.”

‘Grandad we’ve been over this before, it’s not safe at home.”

“River is right,” Orla added, “You see this place is really a sort of safe house for very special people and it’s still not safe for you to leave. I know it’s hard to be away from the place you love. I’m far from home, too.”

David narrowed his eyes, looking between the three people standing around him. He did remember that awful business with the man who wanted him dead. “Is the lunatic still out there then?”

“Yes, grandad, he is. The Park is working very hard to find him.”

There was no point telling his grandfather anything else if it placated him. At least he still understood certain concepts like a safe house for now.

“And your father is still out there then, too?”

“Yes, he is.”

“You need to be vigilant then, my boy. He’s very dangerous!” David said clearly becoming agitated.

Orla came closer, smiling and said, “Your grandson is very capable and he’ll be fine, won’t you?” she asked looking over to River.

River gave her a small nod, “Yes, absolutely. Don’t worry, I’ve got this, grandad.”

River did wonder if he truly had everything under control where Frank was concerned. The man was a highly skilled maniac and could come back to do God knows what to him or his grandad.

While Catherine said her goodbyes to David, River followed Orla out into the hallway to have a chat.

“Thanks so much for spending so much time with him and trying to keep him calm. I do really appreciate it,” River said with a smile.

“Oh, I owe you,” Orla said with a sly wink.

“What?”

“It was ages ago when we were kids, but I used to stay with my grandparents some summers when I was like ten or twelve. They lived a few houses away from your grandparents house. The Murrays?” Orla could see a light bulb go off in River’s expression. “You saved me and my kitten when I stupidly went up the tree to grab her.”

“You had very long hair then. God, I didn’t recognize you! I feel so stupid.”

“No, it’s fine! I didn’t realize you were the same River as I didn’t remember what your surname was since so much time had passed since the last time I saw you. Though I did think it unlikely I’d run into someone else in Kent named River.”

River chuckled. “Yeah, not one of the top ten baby names in the UK to be sure.”

“It’s a lovely name,” she said.

“My grandmother invited you to dinner a few times too now that I remember.”

“Yes, when your grandfather mentioned his wife Rose, it dawned on me. I rang my grandmother, she lives with her sister in Cornwall since my grandfather passed years ago now. I asked her and she confirmed it was the right family. It was such an odd coincidence, no?”

“Very odd, but definitely a happy coincidence,” River said with a broad smile.

“Indeed,” Orla said feeling colour rise in her cheeks. She was grateful when Catherine joined them in the hallway.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Orla!” River said as they were leaving and even gave a small wave accompanied by a smile.

“Absolutely.”

“I feel like I missed something,” Catherine said as they got outside into the cold air.

“Apparently Orla and I didn’t realize we knew each other as kids when she visited her grandparents in the summer.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I like her, River. She really cares about the residents.”

“She does,” River said.

Catherine smiled noticing the far away look River had on his face. She hoped Orla might prove to be a positive distraction for him.

[hanzajesthanza]

a lot of the “haha geralt is so annoyed by his friends!!” talk reduces the relationship of geralt & co. to the events of baptism of fire—baptism of fire geralt is very enjoyable to read, but lady of the lake geralt is the final evolution of a beautiful development of character. we really ought to talk more often about how his relationship with his company developed over the next two books and how by the end of it, he felt entirely responsible for their fates.

it can’t really be said that the hanza didn’t mean a lot to geralt and he would have chosen ciri & yen over them no problem. by the end of it he really valued their friendship and company. he literally identified himself as their leader, embraced his role as their leader. only with their company, he was finally able to fully ascended to what he is at heart and who he was meant to be, what his character was created to be: a hero.

he never liked to play sacrificial games. the entire reason he shunned (the majority of) the company (sorry cahir, he took extra issue with you) was that it was too dangerous of an undertaking, and he did not want to risk the lives of anyone else for his personal matters, sticking their necks out for him. it wasn’t just because he’s an old grump and sourpuss—he literally tells this to dandelion and milva multiple times, that he doesn’t want them dying because of him.

he decided against anything that would have put milva in danger when she was pregnant, refusing to risk her life or her unborn child’s life—remaining adamant that he would not sacrifice her child’s life for his own. and similarly when codringher presented him the hypothetical of pawning a decoy girl off on emhyr, he was disgusted at the thought of trampling the life of some innocent girl for the safety of his own.

virtuous to a fault, geralt abhors stepping on another to lift himself up. he won’t even kill innocent creatures to make a quick buck—they have to be real dangers—which, of course, makes him not only poorer and hungrier, but fighting, you guessed it, more dangers. this makes geralt unlike many of the other characters we’re presented with, who, even though they may not want to, agree to make sacrifices for their personal interests or the greater good (though, what’s the difference—the lodge and emhyr called their personal interests the greater good. that’s a big point of how the decisions of those in power is deconstructed in the saga).

i don’t think geralt would have sacrificed his company, given a choice.

but he did choose, of course, despite not being given a choice. it was a necessary sacrifice, though geralt, being the man he is, would never have made such a choice given the option (like the trolley problem—he’s impossible, he would continue to insist that neither of these choices are good and he doesn’t want to choose). i don’t want to kill either shrike or stregobor, i don’t want to take a side in the war, i don’t want to ride to cintra and claim my destiny. the whole saga is about how no matter if you decide to choose or not to choose, destiny still makes you choose. even if you think you can deny and avoid the choice. and after such denial, it stops asking you nicely. death dogs his footsteps, but death couldn’t catch up with him (for a while, at least), so it had to settle for others… the hanza are another, perhaps a final, manifestation of this lesson—calanthe and cintra being the first victims.

he and cahir dragged milva’s dead and bleeding body to safety, risking their own lives in the hail of arrows which rose again once she had fallen. his noble and virtuous heart still looked for cahir and angoulême in the corridor after the fighting had ceased, waiting for them to come out of the empty hall, before ciri shook her head to tell him no one would be coming down it. his scream rung in the air with regis’ as regis was being torn apart. and he, in pain and exhausted, remembered him, to yennefer when she asked, as a friend, and managed to utter some beautifully kind words in his memory.

i don’t think someone like geralt (feeling responsible for deaths of innocents whether they’re even his fault or not) would ever truly get over the loss of his company. after having, with ciri, buried them, by the foot of stygga castle, having to drag the bodies out one by one, close their glassy eyes, mound the wet and cold earth over them. and regretfully glance back at the melted stone column he cannot bury. he was woefully dreary after stygga, and kept returning to their memory as they retraced their steps into the sansretour valley. reminding himself about the sword of destiny with two edges… and again at rivia mourning them with the dwarven company.

we can at least sigh with relief that destiny allowed him to keep dandelion. it had to, because he is just, after all “like a burr on a dog’s tail”—destiny did not quite manage to slip its noose around his neck, for he did not touch destiny, but instead tagged alongside it. (plus, the cameraman never dies). if dandelion died, it would have broken geralt well and truly. it was the longest and deepest connection he ever had. the same goes for the reverse, of course 😬

[mysticwolfshadows]

Taken - Zutara - Part 83

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When she heard that Zuko would be arriving, Katara couldn't wait. She'd had trouble sleeping, worrying about what could have made him late, and had gotten out of bed at dawn. When she'd found servants rushing around, she'd caught one to ask what was going on. She got a frantic answer about 'Fire Lord', 'airship', and 'arriving any second', and bolted for the main entrance.

She didn't care for how it looked when she came bursting past guards and servants, to where the trolley would let them off. His name was bursting from her lips as soon as she saw the red and gold, flanked by green clad Kyoshi Warriors.

They had decided that, yes, they were dating now. And then, they had been apart for nearly a month. Seeing him now was like when she saw the black snow for the first time after he had originally brought her home. Her heart was racing, giddy as she raced down the steps into his arms. She nearly knocked him over when her own arms came up around him.

"What happened?" She asked, as he returned her tight embrace. "Aang said you were supposed to be here yesterday."

"Had to make a stop at the library," Zuko said into her hair. "I told Wan Shi Tong I would bring Fire Nation texts to replace some of what Zhao burned."

A breath of relief escaped her, and she pulled back to look at Suki.

The warrior smiled, one brow raised. "What? No hug for me?"

Katara pulled back from Zuko, shooting Suki her own grin. "Oh, I'll leave the first one for Sokka."

They all laughed a bit, and Katara walked with them back to the palace doors. Zuko, awkwardly, held out his arm. It would be very telling to the court, what kind of connection they had. Still, she looped her hand into his arm, resting it in the crook of his elbow.

When they were led into the Earth Kings throne room, Kuei was clearly surprised to see her again. Still, she bowed with Zuko and Suki.

"Sorry we're late," Zuko said, as polite as he could manage. "We had to make a stop in the desert that took longer than expected. Thank you for having us."

"Well," Kuei started, clearly distracted as his eyes darted between them. "When the Avatar asks you to host a party, you accept. And, really, I enjoy parties. Basco too." He paused. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Are you two...?"

Zuko glanced at her, as if asking her if she was sure this was what she wanted. Katara rolled her eyes, and nodded to the king.

"Yes," Katara said, carefully closing her fist to hold onto Zuko's sleeve. Now that they had agreed they were together, he wasn't going to get rid of her easily, even if he wanted to. "We've known each other for a long time. It was going to be announced tomorrow, but I'll be the Southern Water Tribe's Fire Nation Ambassador. This has already been agreed on by my father, as the Southern Water Tribe has had an alliance with Zuko for many years, and this is essentially how it was before I found Aang in the ice."

While Kuei seemed interested in hearing more of their story, he also looked troubled. Katara couldn't blame him. She was the daughter of the Chief, and would be the ambassador. With her and Zuko being so close, the Southern Water Tribe would have higher priority in almost every agreement. They'd likely be offered better deals on Fire Nation exports as well. With the Fire Nations advanced technology, which she was sure Kuei's advisors would be wanting, they'd need to make a very, very tempting offer to get access before her tribe.

Not that they could actually use any of the schematics at the moment.

"Thank you for telling me," Kuei said, sounding a bit anxious now. "Please, Fire Lord Zuko. The servants should have taken your things to your rooms. Take some time and relax, before the opening ceremony tonight."

They all gave pleasent bows, and let the guards lead them back towards the guest rooms. It was surprising to find out all of the diplomatic parties were arranged to be in the same wing, on the opposite end of the palace from the Earth King's personal quarters. If Katara had to guess, the visiting foreigners being in the same wing had been Aang's idea, with which wing being recommended by the cautious Earth King advisors.

But it meant that Katara's room was actually directly across from Zuko's. And that her mother saw them coming down the hall.

"Katara," her mother said, smiling as she moved to meet them half way. "I was just about to see if you were up. It's good to see you again...." She paused, frowning. "Fire Lord Zuko...?"

Immediately, Zuko's eyes widened. "No, no. Please, Kya. Zuko is just fine."

"He's right," a groggy voice yawned from Sokka's door. "No need for fancy titles. He's a part of the tribe. Almost family. Hey, Suki."

The Kyoshi Warrior smirked. "Good morning, Sokka."

Immediately, her mother perked up, very interested in the girls in Earth Kingdom green. She swooped in on Suki, all smiles and pleasantly sweet questions. Suki looked at Katara for help, but she wouldn't give any. Her mother was a smart and wise woman, but with their return and the end of the war, she had taken a particular interest in Katara and Sokka's love lives.

Katara watched on, as Zuko stared. Suki was ushered into her parents room, and suddenly she heard her father bemoaning over having to get up. Gruff and still mostly asleep, her father stumbled out of the room, and straight towards Sokka's. Her brother shrugged and the two men went to arrange the bed to go back to sleep.

"Your mother..." Zuko blinked. "Is she alright?"

Humming, Katara smiled. "Yeah. She's just excited about the idea of planning a wedding."

Just as she had expected, his face lit up red. "Wedding? But... I haven't-"

He cut himself off, covering it with a rather forced cough.

"Sokka wants to ask Suki," Katara said.

"Right..."

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[ang3lb1iss]

Notre Dame | paris paloma | Part 1 of 2 

Word count: 2.7k 

Pairing: James Potter x F!Bestfriend Reader 

Summary: Hogwarts years | You were James’ best friend since first year. Throughout your years at Hogwarts, you had started to develop a crush on James, but you refused to act on your feelings due to the fact James only ever had eyes for Lily. Now you're sitting at his funeral, reminiscing about the past and you can't help but feel regret and guilt. 

Authors note: This is my first fic /one-shot so forgive me if it isn't that great to read, I just found it fun being able to interpret lyrics into stories about characters I love. The story loosely follows the Marauders scenes in the HP movies. I picture James with either a scouse accent or a really chavvy London accent, but you can picture him however you want. I apologise in advance if the tenses get mixed up, the story is made up of the reader looking back on the past and reliving certain moments. 

______________________________________________________________

‘I'm in the rafters looking down  It's cold up here  Between walls of stone  I made my home’ 

The church is cold and dim. Especially in the upstairs seating, which is where you are situated. As you try to listen to the speeches full of childhood memories and happier times, you can't help but lose focus and think about the what-ifs and how things could've gone differently. If you had never met James in that cabin on the way to Hogwarts, you wouldn’t be feeling this pain and heartache, but you also wouldn’t have had such a joyful and exciting time at the school. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. “What if it was me and not Lily? Why wasn’t it me? Why did I have to fall for him?” You wonder what the answers to these questions could be, but the harsh truth is that you never will, and you will live with the never-ending ambiguity until the day you die. 

‘And the air hangs heavy with the incense  Feathers fall from pigeons  Cooing in the tower’ 

Your first year, you remember it all so clearly. You were looking to find a cabin for the journey to Hogwarts, but the majority were filled, and in the rest, there were stone-faced older kids that openly sneered at you anytime you walked past them. Until you found his cabin. 

 He was the only one in there and you thought that he looked somewhat friendly, so you decided to take a chance. It ended up being one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. 

 He welcomed you in with a bright smile on his face, despite looking like his face would split with how wide his smile was, he asked you the standard questions, “What's your name? What house d’ya think you'll be in? D’ya want to be mates?” Of course, I wanted to be friends with him, I probably would have been miserable without him in my life but then again, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken now. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

You can recall the way his eyes gleamed when he introduced himself as James. James. Tears sprung to your eyes, making your surroundings go blurry. You can't help but miss the way he proudly said he was a Gryffindor “where dwell the brave at heart” and how Slytherin was full of “evil prats and I'd rather die than be in Slytherin.” You had always admired his pride and how he never let anything upset him too much or for too long. 

That is of course until Lily Evans became more vicious and spiteful in her rejections and jabs. Whenever James was insulted by his “Lilyflower” he let it break down his nonchalant persona and let it cut him deeper than any knife ever could. His Lilyflower. The common factor in all your suffering, you couldn’t blame her of course, it wasn’t her fault that a big oaf like James Potter fell in love with her. But it's not like that fact softened the blow in any way. 

You decided to stop that train of thought before you cried even harder. Instead, you choose to remember when the Trolley Lady came to the door and being breath taken at the assortment of sweet treats. Upon looking in your purse which was just a pouch, you’d realised that you didn’t have enough to get the Bertie Botts Every flavour Beans that you would've liked, with disappointment quickly replacing your awestruck expression, you had declined and took to looking out the window instead of having to see the trolley taunting you with all its colours and designs.  

That’s when you heard him. 

“We’ll take the lot of ‘em” you heard him say and you had insisted that he shouldn’t be wasting his money on you, but he simply drowned out your pleas and focused on the shock of the Trolley Lady. He was always so generous. 

After much reluctance and countless Thank you’s, you'd decided to have a few cauldron cakes and indulge in a chocolate frog when a small timid boy opened the compartment door and asked if anyone had seen his toad, he introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and he ended up sitting with the both of you for the rest of the journey while you had pulled out a book to read and ended up falling asleep with your head leaning on the compartment wall. 

‘I rarely go down there, the view's just so beautiful from here  And I can see everybody at their worst points  At their worst points’ 

You start to remember the moment you openly started looking at James differently. It was the end of third year, and he had just won the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin after declaring during dinner in the great hall that Gryffindor was 100% going to win and he would “wipe his arse with the slithering bastards”.  

You also remember his mumbling and moaning about having to go to detention and you remember him being too busy laying his head on your lap when you both were in your dorm and going to sleep while you read a book. 

 But there he was on his broom hovering above the crowd that had formed to celebrate the win with him. The noise of screams, chants and shouts reverberated across the entirety of the school grounds. The thought of it making you shiver. While James was practically the same shade as the snitch by how brightly his smile was beaming, you were perfectly content with watching him from the Gryffindor stands and away from the chaos that was the Quidditch pitch. 

To this day you can still feel the way your heart skipped a beat when he looked up and smiled at you. At least you thought it was at you. You noticed his wet hair, whether it was because of the rain, him sweating or a combination of both, you didn’t care. His curly dark brown hair that normally looked so fluffy and messy that you just wanted to run your hands through it and make it somewhat tidier.  

His arms that made his jersey look to be too tight, it made you picture scenarios with him being able to carry you places when you got too tired, fighting someone who tried to hurt you. You are still quite ashamed to admit the times when you got flustered at the thought of him using them to pin you against a wall and having a heated makeout session in a broom cupboard. 

Thoughts aside, you had decided to retire to your dorm for a quick nap. The cold can be very tiring. You gathered your things and stood up only to see Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat together directly behind you. You hadn't even noticed them while you watched James previously. 

Lily and Peter said hello while Remus only managed an awkward tight-lipped smile. You and Remus didn’t become friends until your seventh year when you both bonded over being unrequited lovers. The reason for this being that you always felt like he could see through you. He knew things about people before they even knew it themselves which always made you paranoid that he could see your feelings for James and tell him, and as a result, ruining the best friendship you ever had. At least I don’t need to be paranoid anymore.  

Your mind skipped to fifth year, when you were sitting with the Marauders on a warm sunny day, exams had just ended, and you all were just waiting for the results to be calculated. That’s when you heard the boys get up and walk over to a nearby tree. You looked over and saw a mop of stringy black hair and a pale face with an expression of distaste painted on his face. Snivellous,, the foul git.  

You had chosen to stay far back enough that you could still see what happens clearly but ensured you weren't too close as to avoid McGonagall's wrath if she were to show up at the scene.  

The next thing you knew was that Snivellous was hanging upside down in mid-air. Levicorpus. You remember coming across the charm in the library with Sirius and James while looking for more spells for future pranks. You never got involved in the pranks because you didn’t fancy sitting in a silent room for an hour for detention or, Merlin forbid, whatever task Filch might've issued you with. 

There was always a slight rift between you and Sirius because of your refusal to get involved in pranks, he would never have outwardly said it in front of James or Peter because of their loyalty to you, but he disliked how you would only ever consider helping them if James had asked you. You were the only girl in Hogwarts he couldn’t sway with his charm and good looks. And Merlin did it get him jealous. Not that you had noticed back then at least. 

You ended that tangent before it made you spiral down a rabbit hole of confusion. You thought back the past, Snape was being held high by none other than James Potter. His fluffy green Slytherin socks and the sparse leg hair upon his dry ashen legs, were left on display for everyone to see. You had wondered what provoked James into performing such a spell. But your question was left unanswered as your attention had gone to Snape being dropped back onto the ground and Lily Evans being called a “Filthy Mudblood.” by her old childhood best friend. 

If anger meant seeing red, then James wasn’t seeing anything but of blind rage. “Don’t you dare call her that word you vile, disgusting creature.” There was an array of insults and cussing until Lily had brought him back to his senses. She told Snivellous to piss off and she waited until he was far enough away to round on James and unleash the anger that had been building inside her for years. 

You couldn’t hear what she said due to the fact she had put a silencing charm on the area but based off what James whimpered and whined about while he dreamt in your bed with you for comfort, she had probably said something along the lines of “I would rather kill myself then ever be your girl, Potter.” Hindsight is a funny thing after all. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of your heart at the fact that his soul had latched onto Lily and not you, not even giving you a chance.  

That was the night you realised that you would never get the guy. You will forever be condemned to loving James Potter. Your life will continue to be tormented with the possibilities that could've happened, the dreams that made you weep with despair and the everlasting longing and desire slowly encasing your heart until it breaks and shatters. James Potter was the light of your life, but he also caused the darkness that it left behind. James Potter was the sun, but now everything has gone dark. 

‘I'm not a sadist, I enjoy just being able to be witness of the loneliness and fear  I abhor in case there isn't one  In case there isn't one’ 

After that night, after your tragic discovery had become the only thing running through your head. You had pathetically tried to recover the way you saw James before you fell for him. You tried for 2 long years with no luck. He still had your attention and heart, and yet he didn’t realise he had either. So, when the Marauders split for the night, you decided to ask for help. 

You were suffocating with the grief and the mourning of what could've been. And you needed someone to help you breathe. 

With Peter and Sirius headed to the dorm, James doing his Head-Boy patrols with Lily, it was only you and Remus left in the library, the map and the invisibility cloak set to the side until you both decided to leave. It turns out you didn’t even need to say anything because Remus knew exactly what was going through your head. 

He saw the adoration in your eyes when you looked at your best friend, he saw the longing and upset you tried to hide when you heard him constantly talk about marrying Lily and having “Mini Potters” with her. No matter how well you tried, you couldn’t help but subtly display your inner turmoil. 

And Remus saw it all.  

“You're in love with James, aren't you, I see the way your eyes shine brighter, and your smile gets bigger when he enters the room. But he doesn’t love you back and you know it. I know you know it. And I know you’ve known it for years now. But I know what it's like, it feels like a constant weight on your chest and when they walk in the room, it disappears even if you try to hold it down, but then their presence, their joy, their affection for someone else, drains you, the energy you put in to try make them notice your love just gets brushed away until eventually it leaves you so empty that you become a hollow shell of the person that fell for them all that time ago.” 

“I can't tell you how to get rid of it simply because I don’t know how to, but I can offer you some advice that I should've taken before it was too late. Leave, Leave them alone. Leave their life. It'll suck balls for the first while I'm sure but by staying you're degrading yourself. All your insecurities and the suffering you're facing now will pass. This is doomed love sweetheart. You're slowly breaking down. Leave. Before you can't piece yourself together again.” 

And with that he leaves the library. 

How are you supposed to leave his life? How are you supposed to keep him out of yours? The questions won't stop plaguing your mind, do you take Remus's advice and move on, or do you ignore him and feel your heart pull and crack every time you see him. The choice will be the most difficult one you will ever make and yet it’s the one that needs to be made. 

You walk into potions the next day, you thought that it would help make a choice if you avoided him for a day as a trial. Instead of sitting in your normal seat, you walked over and sat beside a Ravenclaw who you believed was called Pandora.  

The Marauders walked in and sat at their tables; you avoided James’ gaze when you looked over to you in confusion, but Remus diverted his attention elsewhere. You had inwardly thanked Remus for helping you out. 

As the lesson went on everything got worse and your decision became clearer and clearer. 

Since the year started, James had started to think twice about the pranks, he acted more mature in general and overall started becoming a man. All of this was for Lily of course. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he would do the same thing for you if he chose you in the first place. 

You were taking notice of all the little things that you're usually too delusional to notice. 

How every time he made a joke or laughed; he would glance at Lily. You could feel your heart in your throat. 

How he would wink and smirk at her when he got an answer correct. A tear forms in your eye. 

How he would look over at her to make sure she understood the topic. Another tear forms. 

How he whispers the answer in her ear if she doesn’t know it. Another one 

How he shines with pride when Professor Slughorn appraises her. Another. 

More tears form until you couldn’t stop them anymore. Thankfully the class was dismissed, and you quickly left before the tears fell and left a salty trail down your cheek. A representation of your life back then. Although in thinking that you can't help but notice that it didn’t get any better. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

17th Day of Christmas

A Christmas Surprise on Set

Summary/Prompt -  Surprising your S/O by turning up on set when they get delayed and can’t make it home

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader

Christmas Masterlist | Masterlist

A week has passed since Jensen first called you and broke the news that filming was going to run late. The delays paired with the current snowy conditions in Vancouver meant that the chances of him making it home to celebrate with his family were extremely slim. So instead, you decided to bring Christmas to him. With Jared also caught there it was easy to convince Genevieve to help with the surprise. Her help has been instrumental in making it a possibility in such a short amount of time.

You’ve been working long days to get everything done in time. Staying up for hours after the kids are tucked up in bed to wrap presents and pack everything you need, from clothes and accessories for yourself and your kids to decorations and finally presents. Luckily the kid’s stuff doesn’t take up much space so you’re able to use some of their allocated luggage for everything else.

As you finish organising everything into the car your phone rings. You smile as you see your husband’s name pop up, but you also panic because you know you have to meet Gen at the airport soon. Not wanting him to stress, you answer while carefully angling the camera so he won’t see the packed car.

“Hey, Babe, what’s up?” you ask as nonchalantly as you can manage.

“Hey, Beautiful. Just missing you and the kids, thought I’d check in.”

You almost give in and tell him everything as you look at his sad, tired features, but you stay strong, knowing how much better it will be when you get there. “We miss you too.”

“Can I see them?”

“We’re actually just on our way to visit Gen and the kids. She’s struggling without Jared too. So, unfortunately, I can’t talk long.”

“She won’t mind if you’re a little late.”

“I know. I should just really make sure they’re ready. Sorry, Honey, I love you.”

“Alright. Will you call me when you get home?”

“Uh…Jens…I“

“It’s our first Christmas apart…” You hear his voice break indicating he’s holding back tears.

“I know. I just...”

“You gotta go, I get it. I love you.”

“I’ll talk to you tonight, I promise.”

He nods and then ends the call. Your heart breaks but you can’t let the emotions take over right now. You run into the house to hurry the kids along.

“Come on, guys! We gotta go!” you call out. Within seconds they’re running downstairs. You lock up the house behind them and then help them into their car seats.

“You guys ready to see Daddy?” you ask excitedly as you drive to the airport.

“Can’t wait!” “Miss him so much!” Your kids say in unison.

“Me too.”

About 20 minutes later you finally park your car in long-term parking and unpack your luggage onto a trolley. The kids stay close by your side as you walk to check in. Once everything is checked and you make it through security you find Gen and her three rascals and sit with them while waiting to board.

The kids are restless and excited for the entire flight, making them a handful for the two of you to manage. You just keep reminding yourself of how worth it, it will be when you see Jensen. His show of emotion earlier tells you that he doesn’t know or suspect anything; then again you have to remind yourself he is an amazing actor, except your heart tells you those tears were real.

When you finally touch down in Vancouver it’s even harder to manage the five hyperactive children. They try to bolt through the airport so you and Gen have to yell at them to slow down multiple times. Then they won’t stop bouncing around impatiently at the baggage claim. Not that either of you blames them; you’re both just as excited on the inside, just a little more exhausted from all the planning and execution. As organised, Clif meets you both at the baggage claim to help with carting the luggage and the children, as well as providing a lift to set. You both thank him profusely.

“You kiddin’ me. Those boys have been moping around without you. You’re doing me a favour by lightening them up.”

“You sure they have no idea?” you ask.

“If they do, they’re hiding it well.”

“That’s great,” Gen says. “I can’t wait to see their reactions.”

The closer you get to their set, the more your leg bounces with anticipation. The second Clif parks the car you swing your door open before he even shuts off the engine.

“Hey!” he calls out. “Leave your stuff in the van. I’ll take you all home later. Go get your men!”

“Thanks, Clif,” you say.

You look at the gates but stop to help the kids out of their seats so you can all go in together. You all walk in to set together before splitting to go to your husband’s respective trailers. You hush your kids and make a plan on the way. You and your youngest sit and hide around the corner of the trailer while your oldest goes to knock and then runs back to you. 

“I’ll be there in a minute!” you hear Jensen call out.

You wait impatiently until his trailer door squeaks open. The second he emerges your children run over and tackle him. Despite being caught off guard he catches them both in his arms and squeezes them tight. You record the moment on your phone and then slowly make your way over to join them. The second his eyes land on you he carefully lowers the kids back to their feet, despite their protests.

“You…” he says. “I love you.” You smile despite his tears and he pulls you into his arms, kissing you softly.

“I told you I’d talk to you tonight.”

He chuckles. “You always do keep your promises.”

“Merry Christmas, Jensen.”

“Merry Christmas, Beautiful. I couldn’t ask for a better present.” You kids wrap their arms around your legs and Jensen pulls them into the group hug.

After a few minutes, Jared, Gen and their kids emerge from his trailer and you all go to the catering tent. Once you all sit down with a plate of food, Jensen wraps an arm around your shoulder, looks over and Jared and says, “We really did get the best wives on the planet.”

Jared nods and kisses Gen’s head. “We really did.”

[carmenized-onions]

Ahhh this was incredible! Allow me to spiral

Chip checking Carmy’s location even though she’s upset and is convinced he hates her 💔

Syd once again being the absolute best and Richie waiting on his informer’s say in order to even consider forgiving Carmy…I love them

“whore-d’oeuvres” makes sense and should be the only acceptable pronunciation of the word

Carmen doing Chip’s prep entirely by himself before making her a sandwich just like Mikey used to make and even giving her a granola to snack on…as Chip said, fuck this fucking guy for making it hard to stay mad at him 🫠

I also love how you reiterated that he’s not good with words so instead he channels what he’s feeling into his craft and Chip, bless her heart, understands that this is him trying to apologize and sends her own olive branch in the form of the lavender coffee 🥺

Lol her beating herself up for not being petty enough and giving Carmy the cold shoulder for a while longer/indefinitely is such a mood

“Can I get a uh…a Negroni…sbagliato? With prosecco?” EMMA D’ARCY was a guest at this wedding?!

He’s still using her hair products and the Old Spice body wash she prefers…oh be still my heart

Also, thank you for letting the cat eat the flowers 😂 I couldn’t decide on the plate, but now I see that bringing it back in to be put away was the right choice. It means so much to her, so it wouldn’t feel right to let it be destroyed

And for Chip to say that Carmy, despite all his faults, somehow makes every space easier to breathe in for her and lights up a room for her is so heartbreakingly beautiful because that’s exactly what she does for him and what Mikey once did for them both. But they don’t seem to realize the effect they have on each other and it’s too late for Mikey to realize it at all 💔 I’m not crying

Chip wondering if she’ll ever get to have a wedding like this and taking notes of what she would want to include in her own 🫠 I just know she’s going to be making a Pinterest board soon

The whole bit with Fak was the perfect example of comedic relief 😂

“It was extremely apt and even more upsetting for him, the way time literally stopped, when you left. When he made you leave.” Once again, your skills 😮‍💨

Ahh I wasn’t expecting Uncle fucking Lee to show up! Loved that Chip put him in his place and was prepared to stab his old ass with a fork lmao (and Carmen ready to swing at him for throwing that fake punch at Chip??? 🙃)

Chip being really sweet to that man who’s in recovery is just…she really is the best and deserves all the good things life has to offer 😔

And that ending…I never would’ve guessed what ICE stood for and I’m glad I didn’t because I had that “ohhhh” moment just like Carmen lol

So she had Mikey make folders of all the people who loved him so he could remember that life was still worth living 💔

And all along she was his sponsor…I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Also, I knew she wasn’t in a relationship/situationship with Mikey because she’s right, Richie would’ve said some shit to Carmen 😂

TL;DR: I LOVED this chapter, A+++ for you 💜💜💜

Thank you as always for spiraling and letting me be a part of it as always!! i'll never be able to express how grateful i am. so i won't even try.

The way Chip/Syd/Richie all show the different ways they care in those first few scenes,,, GRREEAHHH!!! that's what it's all about baby mother FUCK!

fuck this fucking guy is right! how dare he make Chip fold so quick and make a fuckin lavender coffee!! son of a bitch! i hope he drowns in it ! i love him !

EMMA D'ARCY IS AT EVERY WEDDING! I also did find out from a bartender that i love and trust that negroni sbagliatos taste terrible. i can't confirm this for myself i did not try it but i do feel like based on what's in it, probably yeah.

I think wildly enough that poll went to frisbee that fucking plate or don't destroy either. I went with it as a sort of trolley problem for chip LMAO-- Like letting the Cat do it's thing was not pulling the lever, and putting the plate back inside was like well this is what i'd normally do. And listen plants can grow back.

But to be honest in the original concept of Just Dropped that plate was getting yeeted out the fucking window it was gonna be . so sad.

EXACTLY MAN!! EXACTLY WITH THE BREATHING EASY-- I just think it's very special with the way Carmen constantly pedestals her, including in this chapter, and it's like my guy she thinks you're inspiring and calming ! get it together!

Chip is a DIY queen too i KNOW her boards are crazy. she's making a new one every two seconds frfrfr

COMEDIC RELIEF BUT STILL I THINK SO MUCH CHARACTER / LORE REVEALED I really liked that bit. I told y'all I'd tackle the handyman beef eventually!!

Listen Uncle Lee showing up was the FIRST thing Chip asked Jimmy about I knew damn well I had to put him in there and really just fucking. GRREEEAAAHHHHHH. I have a lot of. personal anger. about. his whole being. i would just fucking.... It was therapy honestly, for me, to write this motherfucker getting taken to motherfucking task.

CHIP STAYS ON TOP! And she brings everyone up with her too i love my baby

and 100% AS CHIP SAID MAN THINK ON IT FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS OF C OU R SE RICHIE WOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING IF HE HAD EVEN AN INKLING CARMEN WAS FEELIN A TYPE OF WAY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AGAIN IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT I HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEXT ONE DROPPING AT 11 PM EST YEEHAW LOVE YOU BYE!!

[fandomsandfeminism]

There are other ways to remove a person's ability to wield political and social power to commit genocide than dropping them off the side of a burning building that are all just as effective.

I'd also like to point out that the idea that you can prevent a wholesale genocide by like, killing the RIGHT individual, is a rather...simplistic understanding of what causes genocide.

Frollo, to use him as the example, is a priest (in the book), and a judge (in the Disney movie.) He's not just a bad guy. He's an extention of the Catholic Church/The State (depending on which version you want to lean on here.) His power to do harm comes from his position within those institutions and the power of those institutions themselves. The persecution of the Roma people within France isn't because there was a bad guy, but because of those systems of power being used to kill the people that the church and the government wanted dead. Frollo getting dropped off a building wouldn't stop the persecution of the Roma in any world that isn't, maybe, a Disney film.

In the real world, it's very easy to hold up Hitler as the boogeyman. But if Hitler had died, but the war machine of Third Reich Germany hadn't lost the Battle of Berlin/the War as a whole, the Holocaust wouldn't have magically stopped just because 1 guy died.

Look. I'm not saying that there's never been a situation in the world where killing 1 guy wasn't the objectively best option in a high stakes, immediately dangerous situation. The world is full of Trolley problems and self defense situations and nuance and context.

But this post is about Restorative vs Punitive Justice *systems*, and about how many people, in general, start and end their analysis of Justice with "did the bad guy get killed?"

I would even argue that this mentality, where as long as you are sure in your heart that it will SAVE LIVES, killing people is just and good and shouldn't be questioned because some people are just bad- that mentality? Forms the core of Police killings in our culture. Justifies shooting first and asking questions never. Because once you decide that someone has done harm, they need to die for there to be Justice?

I dunno. I just think maybe as a society, we should be open to...other ideas on the matter.

Sometimes I think about how and why some people had such a *bad* reaction to the end of Steven Universe, specifically in regards to the Diamonds living.

Even though they no longer are causing harm to others and are able to actually undo some of their previous harm by living, some folks reacted as though this ending was somehow morally suspect. Morally bankrupt, even.

And I think it might be because so many of us were raised on a very specific kind of kids media trope:

They all fall to their deaths.

Disney loves chucking their bad guys off cliffs. And it makes sense- in a moral framework where villains *must* be punished (regardless of whether their death will actually prevent further harm or not), but killing of any kind is morally bad for the hero, the narrative must find a way to kill the villain without the protagonists doing a murder.

It's a moral assumption that a person can *deserve* to die, that it is cosmically just for them to die, that them dying is evidence that the story itself is morally good and correct. Scar *deserves* to die, but it would be bad for Simba to kill him. So....cliff.

Steven Universe, whatever else it's faults, took at step back and said "but if killing people is bad, then people dying is bad", and instead of dropping White Diamond off a cliff, asked "what would actual *restorative*, not punitive, justice look like? What would actual reparations mean here? If the goal is to heal, not just to punish, how do we handle those who have done harm?" And then did that.

Which I think is interesting, and that there was pushback against it is interesting.

It also reminds me of the folks who get very weird about Aang not killing Ozai at the end of Avatar. And like, Ozai still gets chucked in prison, so it doesn't even push back on our cultural ideas of punitive justice *that much.* and still, I've seen people get real mad that the child monk who is the last survivor of a genocide that wiped out his entire pacifist culture didn't do a murder.

[bearpillowmonster]

Superman - Space Age

I love the opening, it makes you ponder life and that story Jonathan tells, aw man are we in a golden age or what, this came out in 22'-23' so look out! But we move onto the history stuff with it taking place in the 60s...oh when the moon landing happened, ok, I took it as "He's going to space" but whatever. So Lois Lane interviews Jackie Kennedy after...wait, wtf.

Lex takes the role of the ongoing and coming Cold and Korean War marketer who's making weapons...He's Tony Stark, ok? Happy? And so is Bruce Wayne apparently, he outwardly markets a mass produced version of his batsuit and outs himself as Batman or the person who tested it so...uh...the two get along but are competing for the same thing. Hal Jordan is also involved. And from there we speed up and I mean really get it.

So Luthor's plan is, since he won, to use his resources to hide in a shelter, blow up segments of the U.S., blame the Soviets and a war will presume and then Luthor emerges to rebuild the country. Classicly stupid comic plan. Since Bruce lost, he kept a suit and became Batman and stopped him. The overall idea is that the world isn't going to wait for you and you may never be ready to face the world but you merely have to be present. So Wonder Woman reveals herself like at the end of Black Panther, the Hall of Justice is built and that's issue 1.

Behind the scenes though, Anti-Monitor is looking into dimensions to annihilate. Superman's has 20 years. The next issue moves things on with the incoming doom and Brainiac's now on their side but it asks a curious question about the trolley hypothesis and uses that as a base for some of its characters. Obviously Bats and Supes get the most attention out of the League and I like the conversation being dealt. This version of Batman and the conclusions he's come up with isn't my ideal version but considerable but Supes is straight up right what I want.

Issue 3. With Anti-Monitor coming, Jonathan Kent is still around for the final issue which would've been cool if they kept him to the end but they kill him of heart disease anyway, it's kind of monotonous at that point when everyone else is about to die anyway. They use that as a launching point for Supes to decide what he's going to do about it though.

Because Brainiac isn't really the bad guy anymore, he's trying to beat the Monitor too and wants Supes to join him...alone. Which in a way, his offer is feasible because if he can't do anything to save the planet anyway, does he leave everyone at the last minute to join Brainiac and stop Monitor to avenge them and prevent it from happening to anyone else again or does he die along with them. It's a tough decision and one they keep you guessing what he chooses especially with the flashes of him on another desolated Earth and then him staying in the fortress with Lois and little Jonathan in the end. They also bring up Supes leaving the League because of his departure to find a new way since he's failed doing what he's doing. Being superpowered shows that you can brute force just about anything but it doesn't work for this and it shows when he talks about the League still fighting fire with fire. Then Diana says that Supes fights darkness with light which echoes back to him refusing to pick the people on the tracks or the operator and trying to save them both.

Lex owns a shampoo company from jail which is sort of brilliant.

They cram in the Joker so Batman can have a proper end, he's a clown turned kidnapper because his daughter was lost in a fire. But I think it says something about Superman how you can just have him create a miracle drug for humans to cure all diseases and that's acceptable as a plotline because as a main point, it's not delved into too much but it's there more to show Superman's character. We know the act is pretty much impossible, I mean that's what Superman is but it's not about the destination for his stories. He makes life as bearable as possible before the end of the world. He wasn't able to save his own father but he makes sure others can save theirs. One of the thoughts I had while reading this was that "the world won't love you unless you love it." because of this-

and I just really like that theme, this was a good comic book that understood what it was doing. It kept (most) core ideals, added a bit of history in the mix to make it seem real as well as set the times with its artstyle, it didn't retread too much and had ways to variate itself from anything else. It was a bit too fast paced, choosing to sideline or hamfist things in there but that's ok, I like it for what it is, it doesn't take the reader's knowledge for granted.

I also like that even Luthor gets everything he wants but it's the end of the world so he doesn't get to revel in it, he peaks. I won't spoil the rest or what conclusion Superman came to as far as what options he was presented with.

[theprocessofthought]

Can you say you have truly lived if you have never loved?

There is a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche that says “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” As morbid as that statement sounds it has backing, without reason life tends to become very boring and mundane, it is not until you find something special in the day-to-day aspects of life that life itself becomes interesting. Things that were once lifeless and boring now become filled with memory and life. Many people associate this change with the chemical brain reactions commonly known as love. To apply a more visual description of what I mean I turn to two films, Black Orpheus and Amelie. Fair warning one is based on a Greek story and for those of you that know how those work it may not end happily. Let’s start with Amelie, it follows Amelie Poulain an only child in quite a predicament. Her father makes no physical interaction with her aside from a monthly checkup. These few interactions cause a nervousness in Amelie during the checkups which causes her father to believe she has a heart issue. As a result of this he declares her too delicate to go to school, ironic considering her mother, who ended up teaching her is worst off. Not being allowed to be a child by either of her parents her imagination adapts allowing her to cope. Fast forward she moves out and takes a job as a cafe waitress.  Life takes an unexpected turn when she finds a small box in the wall of her apartment. She decided to return it to the owner, who’s reaction to receiving the box inspires her to help out more people in her life. She hopes that the feeling she gets from helping others will fix the feeling of nothingness that she’s lived with for so long. However, one of the person’s she helps Mr. Dufayel, a brittle bone painter tells her that, the happiness she is trying to give others she should offer to herself. She attempts to do so through Nino, her love interest. This almost ends badly as some miscommunication almost causes her to give up on the pursuit. All ends well however as she allows herself to let him in, both figuratively and literally, thus beginning their relationship.

On the other side of things is Black Orpheus, a retelling of the Greek tragedy. It follows two people Eurydice, a farmgirl attempting to escape from a man she believes is trying to kill her and Orfeu, a trolley conductor and guitar player. Their paths cross as Eurydice is attempting to find her way around Rio. Orfeu is promised to someone else but falls for Eurydice, but before anything can really happen between them, death comes (the man she has been chasing her). Orfeu in his attempt to help kills her and the knowledge of her death starts to break him. It wouldn’t be a Greek story without someone heading to the underworld of course. In terms of the film that is done as an Umbanda ritual. As the voice of Eurydice rings out to him Orfeu turns around hoping to see her and realizes she’s gone. With her body in hand he approaches a cliff, Orfeu’s ‘wife’ finds them and hurls a rock at him. This causes him to fall over the cliff as he joins his beloved in death.  

[legionofpotatoes]

Sorry, knee-jerk reaction straight out the theater. It was more of a death by comparison situation for me. I'll try to explain (spoilers):

I came out of into the spider-verse soaring. The pure cathartic joy that story hit me with is still one of my most treasured cinema memories. Pemberton's triple note motif would send chills down my spine just thinking about it. The scene with dad's quiet apology from behind the door. The leap of faith. The collider goodbyes. The shoulder touch. All of those delicious moments of growth and resolution elevated and magnetized by the fantastic visuals and music. Anyone can wear the mask. A pure, distilled idea that coalesced out of a seemingly complicated, but impressively elegant plot. It still is one of my favorite movies of all time. It swells with joy and love in my heart.

By comparison, across the spider-verse is half a story, and it feels flawed just in that concept alone. I don't know what MCU poison spilled over their instincts, but it's essentially a giant setup for a sequel with only Gwen getting a semblance of closure and resolution. Everything else is tits-up, dramatically confusing at times, and the end drops the ball with the rhythm of the edit so bad that the cut to black hits with a dull, sad thud amidst a chorus of starts and stops. It's a god damn mess. And I hate how much I hate it.

I wanted to love it so, so badly. The visuals are truly incredible, there are no words or praises high enough to credit the artistry on display. Smarter people than me have tried, so I won't waste time on that. The cameos are wild and fun; as maybe another staple of the MCU, but one that feels more at home in the context of this plot. Although still ultimately feeling like a distraction from the aimless story optics. Some of the ideations in theme were interesting; I was excited to see Miles made into the revolutionary against canon, but it all went nowhere. He is robbed with a fake-out resolution with his not-mom and then thrust into a nothing burger plot twist that is painful to watch; it is one of those scenes that has no idea what it wants or is for, so they just keep stretching the aesthetic beats until the edit relieves them with a cut. And everything with the Spot and Miguel was similarly... compelling but just fully dropped with no tact or clarity.

This is without even mentioning the wholly weird timeline cop nonsense they pull with the spider society where every single spider person becomes a willing accomplice in some demented minority report-ass cult of trolley problem judges, with their motive based on an utterly left-field conditional that they all have to specifically lose a police captain in their lives. I realize this whole thing is set up as a false ethos that will be interrogated in the sequel, but to have all of those spiders surround miles as miguel is explaining to him why he has to let his father die... still seems pretty insane? also didn't he lose his uncle already? how is he still being qualified for the trauma olympics??? what are we doing here?

I know, I know. It's a part 1. And in that vein it's all truly fine. It's just a me thing, I don't like these chaptered epics. Feels so redundant somehow. They're not telling a complicated story here, they really aren't. I left the theater so bummed out and disappointed. Why do that to this property. Why make it into a sequel-baiting cash cow. I did think losing Peter Ramsay as director would hurt a little, but not this much?? Like what happened. Lord and Miller were still involved in writing, no? Why did they decide to make this choice?

My kingdom to the audio-visual teams on this project. I loved every tiny little detail - their skin sags upwards when they talk upside-down on that skyscraper - but it's still all embellishment and texture for your story. And the story just didn't land for me at all :(

we’re going to see the new spidered man today i’ll let everyone know if it’s good!

[blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms]

Aviophobia- Luke Alvez

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Characters: Luke Alvez

Warnings: N/A

Request: Anon- Hey, could I request Luke Alvez X reader where Luke is comforting reader during an uneasy flight, please? Have a lovely week(end)!

Word Count: 592

Author: Charlotte

You had never been a fan of flying. Being in a tin can thousands of feet in the air didn’t seem appealing by any means but it was part of your job and you had decided to grin and bear it. Your team were aware that you were scared of flying but not the extent of it. It seemed rather stupid that you could handle going into the field facing the worst of the worst in people but the journey there was resulting in you taking anxiety medication to get through it.

Since you had been part of the BAU you had been taking your medication religiously. As soon as you were told that you would be heading onto the jet you would pop your pill and the anxiety of flying would be subsided enough that no one else could even notice you were nervous, and you certainly weren’t planning on letting on to the fact that you were coping with part of your job by medicating.

Your latest case had been in Wisconsin and when you had packed your stuff back up to head on the four-hour flight to Quantico, you realised that you had misplaced your medication. You searched every inch of your belongings but there was no sight of them and with the rest of the team waiting for you to head to the jet, you had to just accept you would have to fly without them.

Most of the team sat together but you headed off to the back of the jet to hope that no one would notice the distress you would feel until you landed. The take-off had left you almost in tears, your heart pounding in your chest and breathing unsteady. You had sunk down in your seat, hoping that the seat in front of you would shield you from your colleagues.

Your plan worked for a short while. Luke had gotten up to grab a drink from the trolley that was parked at the back of the jet but as he passed by your seat, he noticed how unlike yourself you seemed.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asked.

You shot him a glare and shushed him, not wanting him to bring your state to the attention of anyone else. He slipped into the seat beside you.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, what’s going on?”

“Aviophobia,” you squeaked.

Luke cocked an eyebrow at you. “You’re scared of flying? We fly constantly and you’re never like this.”

You tried to take a deep breath to regulate your anxiety, but it was shakier and far more painful than you intended.

“I normally take medication, but I can’t find it and I’ve had to just deal with it but it’s so much worse than I thought it would be,” you whispered, your voice hoarse and strained.

You knew he had questions but now wasn’t the time to get answers or pry into why you put yourself through your biggest anxiety for the sake of your job.

There was only one appropriate question for him to ask. “How can I help?”

Instinct was all you could follow. You’d never felt so much anxiety and without being able to medicate yourself, you just needed some form of comfort, whatever felt right at the time.

“C-could you hold my hand?” You whispered.

Luke didn’t hesitate to do as you asked, instantly linking his fingers with your own.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“Just talk to me, and please don’t tell anyone.”

He offered you a gentle smile. “Of course.”