#and that ends with them having that heart to heart on the trolley deciding how they're going to save falin again

[pagesofkenna]

doing the math and i'm pretty sure chilchuck is getting his bow back next week, and we might finally get to meet the canaries (the elves), if not next week then definitely the week after!

[evilminji]

Been Havin Thoughts™ >.>

About the Tragedy of SI-OC born too late to change anything...

About KNOWING. Exactly what's going to go wrong. Potentially how to fix it. Having a head crammed FULL of hundreds of authors of Fix-Its, Meta discussions, Tumblr posts. Uncertain that it truely WOULD change anything... but? Plans within plans. Possibilities. The options and ability to do SOMETHING. All there.

All useless.

Because... Because, you? You are a child.

Born too late too make a difference. The machinations of monsters are already well underway and it is far too late to stop that trolley, bearing down on you. No. No, now?

Now you get to make a CHOICE.

The needs of the many? The needs of the few? Yourself? Who do you try and save? Who CAN you save? From this sinking ship. This slow, painful, tragedy? No one's going to listen to a child. Not really. Not TRUELY. You are merely... a Witness.

There are SO MANY Scenarios!!!

But! For this? The one that currently haunts me?

Force Nexus~☆ under the Temple~☆! What COULD it do? I wonder?

Imagine it. You are a Youngling. A Temple Child. You KNOW what is coming. Order 66. The suffering. The Death. An empire built on the enslavement of good, loyal men. The genocide of Jedi. Every night you struggle to sleep. Toss and turn. Look at the tiny sleeping faces of children in you Creche... and you KNOW.

You KNOW.

Just as you KNOW... that no one will listen to you. You did try. Carefully. And you are glad you did. Your trust was betrayed. They did not listen. The end barrels closer and closer. The Force WEEPS in your mind, like a wound hidden in smoke. You... you have to decide.

Save yourself? Run? You could. You might survive.

Take the infants? Bundle them away in the night? You'd have to time it just right. Or they'd chase you to the ends of the galaxy.

Or... or do you do... THAT?

The thing that scares you. The one your not sure your brave enough to do. The one that... that would be JEDI of you? You are scared. Just a child. Thought... thought you would have longer...

In your heart... already know. Exactly what you're going to do.

So you sneak out. It's far too easy. With so many minders, away at War. Hang around the Senate. Well away from the Sith. You... you just need the inevitable to happen. Hate yourself, for preying on the Vode. Sure enough? Some asshole orders a good man to be "decommissioned" over imagined offense.

He is escorted away by his brothers.

You follow.

Let them grieve. Before quietly interjecting. You need his help. To save his brothers. Since he is to die either way... would he mind dying with you? You hate asking. What choice does he HAVE now, really? He is condemned. You feel like a monster.

When he asks if you are CERTAIN it will help his brothers, you think of the records you have read. Yes. Yes it will.

He does not look at you, like you are a monster. There is a grieving understanding between instead. You leave at once. Back to the barracks. Things left behind he will not be coming back for. Everytime you leave the temple, you are much the same.

Now you decend.

Down and down. Level by level. Past where the light no longer reaches, past breathable air. To the old temple. Long forgotten. Desecrated by the Sith. You are a youngling. You can not purify this place. But oh... oh you can try. Any spark of Light in this darkness. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, made of stars.

Down and towards the Nexus.

It rattles your bones. Aches in your teeth. Colors beyond color, time outside of time. Every step becomes a struggle. Until it is too much. You must be carried. Your trooper does not mind. Helps you stay present, attached to your skin. Luminous as you are.

You... You get there.

It Is BEAUTIFUL.

The Force is HERE. And Here flows the Force. Everything One. Your lines, simple matter, begin to break. How... how could you possibly care? It is... no. The hand in your's reminds you. Your reason for all of this. The Vode. Their fate. You look to the man who has become your friend. Would weep for him, if you could. But... but it is too late now.

For both of you.

You are One with the Force. And the Force is One with you.

In the starlight, the fracturing, of what's left of your brain... you PULL. The chip. The advanced aging. The shroud the Sith has pulled around himself. All... all things are possible, in the Force. ALL THINGS. Perhaps not all... with flesh and bone... but? With the Force? The... The Vode will be free.

What is distance, mere matter, to The Force?

We are everywhere and nowhere. Everything and nothing. Our power is infinte and killing us. And... and that is okay. It does not hurt. The Light... the Light is BEAUTIFUL. We did this on our own two feet.

We are one with the Force.

And that is okay.

[sepublic]

Raine Whispers’ story feels defined by a constant Trolley Problem, one where they’re often forced to make hard decisions. It’s such a difficult life; The first was having to cut ties with Eda, which would’ve definitely worsened Eda’s mental health, but ultimately Eda’s was getting worse anyway because she refused Raine’s help, so Raine had to look after themselves for once.

Then there’s their role as a rebel, while balancing that as a coven head; I can imagine how these roles often went at odds with one another, how Raine had to stomach a lot by reassuring themselves, anyone else insincere could’ve and would’ve taken this position; But with me here, I can do something good for the rebellion here. Raine had to render their palisman Fiddlesticks inanimate as a violin to hide them in plain sight from Belos’ hunger, to a point where Fiddlesticks couldn’t help at all even if they wanted to.

Raine tells Eda she has to commit to being a BATT, and then have to make the hard call to commit a murder-suicide with their lost love to take down who they believe to be enemies, even if that includes a childhood friend; Because otherwise, they’re doomed anyway, so may as well take a bite out of the coven to make others’ lives easier.

But then they see that photo, and realize; Eda has kids who need her. And suddenly Raine can’t go through with taking out key coven targets because they remember the innocents they’re doing this for, the people who need help; Those are always the priority and Raine has to call off the Requiem, even if it means being captured and not making any progress with the rebellion… So they believe.

And you see that compassion in their debut episode pay off; It leads to Raine realizing Darius and Eberwolf are allies, finding a real collaboration. But then Raine has to deal with another moral dilemma: Lying to Eda about their memories in order to keep attacking the coven from within, and protecting her and those kids they made the previous call for to begin with. They have to grapple with possibly being a hypocrite, because didn’t Eda do the same to them? But Eda almost died when Raine let her in, and the stakes are so different here.

Raine scouting Kikimora’s vulnerability that episode might come across as predatory, but what other choice do they have? The oppressed have a right to violence, the oppressor make it so only one can survive, and in the end anyone will have to side with those who weren’t the aggressor. Likewise, they have to stomach Terra’s oversight to give Darius and Eberwolf cover, with those two unsuspected.

The pressure begins to culminate with Eda calling Raine for help, and at that point Raine realizes they DID make a mistake; Not letting Eda in on the rebellion lead to a lot of isolation and desperation on her and the kids’ end, not knowing if they could do something about the Day of Unity. Because now Luz and Eda are in trouble, the people Raine was keeping secrets for; So Raine organizes a rescue with Darius and Eberwolf’s help.

Then we get to the draining spell, Eda needs the sigil to sabotage the ritual. Raine has to make that hard call, has to make that sacrifice because it’s what Eda’s choosing to do, this is for the greater good right? But then Luz pulls on their sleeve, and asks Raine; Please keep Eda safe. Raine had let Eda go for those kids, they let Eda back in for this kid especially, and now they’re letting Eda die when this kid is asking for her to be safe??? This was more than their own feelings now; Raine is at odds with their morals and the greater good, and they let Eda go up those stairs…

But when the opportunity presents itself, when they’re dying and the world is burning anyway; There is no greater good left, they’re doomed regardless, so Raine decides to save Eda so she can survive, at least. For their own heart and Luz and King’s. And that’s when Raine’s willingness to undo their mistake keeping secrets finally, inadvertently saves everyone; It lead to the kids crossing paths with Kikimora (whose importance was correctly clocked by Raine) and when they go after her to save Luz, King gets Kikimora to help him free the Collector to stop the Day of Unity!

But it’s never enough; Raine and Eda can’t even savor each other together, being alive together. Raine has to let Eda go when the Collector kidnaps King, because those kids need Eda more than Raine and they’ll always make that priority. But after everything, they’ll get to enjoy being with Eda as well…

Raine had to deal with Terra’s ‘care’ and then Belos possessing them, they’ve had to suffer an intimacy. For a moment it came down to only Raine to stop Belos from possessing the Titan, Raine trying their damnedest even as their body is trying not to collapse it’s just. Ugh they keep trying, even after one plan fails they keep finding a way to salvage this and make it work! And finally it does, people come in to help them, those same kids and their mother, after all Raine’s sacrificed for them. And after all of the suffering and indignity and atrocity to bear, they finally get to kill the bastard responsible and smash his brains against the dirt!

Like any Trolley Problem there is no one, easy solution most of the time, that’s the whole point; Sometimes Raine has to break someone’s heart, overlook injustice, etc., for the greater good. All they can do is try their best and remember who they’re making these sacrifices for, and hope it works out in the end. Raine had to suffer such a burden for others with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

But they’ve always cared about the ‘lesser’ good, the little people and the individuals. So the best they could do amidst the burden was to just always remind themselves why and who they’re doing this for, and to always come back to that in the end. And it’s why the Demon Realm is saved, it’s why everyone lives, it’s why Raine gets to be with Eda when the fire has burnt itself out. After all of the sacrifice of their conscience and/or peace of mind, they get to rest too.

And that ability to see the bigger picture while still remembering the details is exactly why Raine is fit to be a leader, as a member of the Boiling Isles Council. Between the framing with Belos’ statue and the crown banner, Raine is someone the isles can trust to do their best for the little guy, and they’re no longer alone for it; Not since breaking up with Eda or starting their rebellion, or having to deal with Belos possessing them and the Titan. Raine’s received their own help too.

It’s extra insane as well, because Raine has stage fright; They’re a major public figure and going to have to deal with all eyes on them to be held accountable and they did it anyway, like all of the other the difficult decisions. They’ll bear getting on stage to say or play what they need to for everyone else to hear. Even after everything Raine is still making that perpetual sacrifice, but it’s such a smaller one, it’s something they can learn to get over, and they’ve gotten so much in return by seeing their world heal. They deserve everything. Truly the Titan’s strongest soldier, down to wearing her skull with pride.

[justwinginglife]

This Time, It's Different

Dedicated to the only person who will read this, my bestie @minasfwoopyponytail, yall I know I be doin Soshiro all the time, but I got on the Ranpo track cuz we were talking about Ranpo being in our top favs for BSD so I gotta show him some love today (I am so sorry that I bought Chuuya, Dazai, and Akutugawa merch and forgot about you Ranpo my love, this is my apology fic for you).

You were never good at lying. 

It was inconvenient in almost all aspects of your life, but you never thought your ineptitude would be the reason someone finally fell in love with you.

After many failed attempts at bending the truth, after attempting to tell your aunt you liked the socks she got for your birthday and instead unknowingly wrinkling your nose at them and breaking her heart, after attempting to tell your boss that you were busy and couldn’t come to work on a Saturday and when she asked follow up questions about your supposed plans you found yourself flushed and floundering, after attempting to tell your ex that you enjoyed meeting his family but then immediately declining any further interaction with them, after multiple awkward interactions and even more disastrous encounters, you decided to give up on lying. It wasn’t for you.

So you resigned yourself to the fact that you would have to tell nothing but the whole, honest truth for the rest of your life. Your lackluster lies may cause catastrophe otherwise. 

So when you joined up with the Armed Detective Agency, when you rejected Dazai’s advances by saying, “No offense Dazai, but I’m sure you say that to all the ladies, and while I’m flattered, I’m not into womanizers,” when you offered methods of stress relief to Kunikida because he “always looked like the world was ending,” when you asked when Furukawa would be retiring because you were concerned about him “overworking himself in his old age,” when half the detective agency was against you from your first day, Ranpo Edogawa found himself half in love with you already. 

He’d never met a person who didn’t -or just couldn’t- lie, even among his fellow coworkers, and he was at least intrigued by you if nothing else. He found himself eager to see just how far you were willing to go to continue telling the truth. 

Going forward, you often found him tagging along on missions with you, peeking over your shoulder while you worked, listening to everything intently, even despite your other coworkers telling you that Ranpo almost never went out of his way to be this personally invested in anything, just because he wanted to hear you talk, to see if you really told everyone everything you thought all the time. And to ask you questions. Lots of questions. 

Most of them were controversial because he wanted to see if you’d stick to your opinions even if you were in the minority, some of them were philosophical because he wanted to know the way your mind worked, and a few of them were just downright absurd because he was Ranpo. 

“Okay. So. You want to know if I would divert the trolley to save the lives of five by killing one?”

“Yes, and when you’re done with that, do you think that dress makes that girl’s butt look fat?”

“Mr. Edogawa, sir, I really don’t see how this is relevant to the case.”

“Oh it’s relevant, alright. Answer the question, I’m your superior and I wanna know.”

“Um. Alright. Well clearly it makes more logical sense to sacrifice the life of the one for the good of the many, just mathematically speaking, and yes, that dress is very unappealing on her, I don’t know why she went with white.” 

“Agreed, the white is hideous, you pass my tests. For now.”

And so this bizarre relationship of yours continued.

Ranpo would wait for you to finish up cases, would wait for you to finish in the bathroom, would wait for you to finish up dinner, just so he could pick your brain, just so he could amuse himself with your answers. But the more time he spent with you, the more his reason changed for spending the time. He was always attentive, had always had a keen eye, but when you were around, it seemed every last bit of his attention had devoted itself to you. He knew how long it took for you to finish going to the bathroom, so -much to your embarrassment- he always knew what you were doing in the bathroom depending on the length of time. He knew how long it took for you to eat and which foods took you longer amounts of time to eat them. He knew when it was your time of the month, he knew what you craved during said time, he knew the way you’d react when he brought you said craving. He knew almost everything about you and it still wasn’t enough. 

One day, he diverted from his usual barrage of insane questions and he started asking about you: what was your favorite food, where were you born, did you have any pets growing up, what did you like to do outside of work? By now, you had gathered from all his previous questions that he was just having fun interrogating you, but you enjoyed talking with him, so you answered all his questions regardless, personal or otherwise. You were unsure how telling him your favorite color was supposed to entertain him the way his usual ridiculous questions did, but you told him it was green anyway. He brought you a bundle of kiwis the next day because he couldn’t figure out what else was green to give you. You were unaware of the fruit’s connection to his question about your favorite color but to him, he’d pretty much just asked you out. 

When you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, because you were unaware he had feelings for you, and unaware he had just presented them to you through said kiwis, he pouted for the remainder of the day.

You couldn’t figure out why the man who had spent every waking second of your career with the ADA by your side had suddenly started avoiding you. You couldn’t figure it out, and it was killing you. Little did he know, you had also started memorizing details about him, and the way his laugh sounded, the way his lips curved into a smile, the way his fingers pushed up his glasses, the way he did anything and everything, the way he said anything and everything had you craving your next interaction before the previous one had even ended. And you couldn’t take the silence he had now forced you into. So you went on a hunt for him.

You found him sulking on the rooftop. 

You plopped down beside him without saying a word and when you could tell he might be preparing to run again, preparing to plunge your relationship into further silence, you handed him a Ramune. He froze. And then he snatched the drink out of your hand like it was just another Tuesday for the two of you.

“You remembered my favorite flavor, huh? Not too shabby for a second rate detective.” He chugged down the drink.

You laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. “If I’m such a second rate detective, how did I know you’d be on the roof?”

He shrugged. “Got lucky, I guess.”

You bit your lip and for the first time in years, considered lying. But you couldn’t do it. “Actually, I didn’t just ‘get lucky.’ I knew you’d be on the roof. You always come to the roof when you’re upset. I notice more than you think. So tell me- why are you upset?”

He sighed. “You’re not into me. No one’s ever into me.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

He sighed again, this time more exasperated. “I gave you a gift, but you didn’t accept my feelings.”

You blinked again. “The… kiwis?? Ranpo. You always give me gifts. You gave me strawberries during my last period even though Yosano told you to get me chocolate because you know I like fruits better than chocolate. You gave me limited edition tickets to a play that was already sold out because you’d preordered it when you heard me vaguely mention that I liked it. You are always giving me things, and they’re perfect, and I love it, and I appreciate it, but how was I supposed to know this time was something different?”

He tapped a finger on his chin. “Yeah okay fine. I see that now.”

You inched up closer to him. “So… this time is different though?”

He suddenly blushed. “Yeah… this time it’s different. This time I wanted… well I wanted…”

“Me?”

He’s suddenly quiet and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like this. You’ve rendered him speechless and it’s impossible not to find it adorable.

You kiss him.

If he was speechless before, now he’s speechless and breathless.

“I just… you just…so we’re?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Yeah. We are.”

“We’re… together?” He squeaks out.

“I’d like us to be.”

He nods vigorously. “I-I’d like us to be too!” He blurts out.

You kiss him again and this time he savors the feeling of your lips melding with his. This time he kisses you back with fervor, with passion he never knew he could feel. This time, he’s all yours.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I am too lazy to write a longer fic that delves into their relationship after this, but I did want to write a lil drabble about it, so I will be posting it here.

[theemporium]

Hiya!

I'm really new to this, so I apologize in advance for everything. Your writing is so amazing and you have me forming crushes on men that I never would have even *thought* about.

Anyways, I was wondering if I could request reader talking to remus or sirius (or both🤭) about having kids? Like, the reader really wants them but doesn't want to make the guy uncomfortable

Also maybe some spice?

Idk, sorry if this is weird❤

-🤞

omg you're so sweet, this isn't weird at all!! thank you so much and thank you for requesting!🖤

.

It had never been a massive goal for you to be a mother, not in the way it was for others. 

But there had always been a passing thought in your head—a background assumption you had always assumed no matter which part of your life you were in—that you would eventually have kids of your own. Whether it was adoption or birth, you always imagined that somewhere in your future, you would have kids of your own to love and dote upon and raise. 

You don’t even understand why the thought had returned. Or, at least that was what you told yourself when you knew very well what was setting off your baby fever this time around. You had been over at the Potter household the day before, visiting Lily and a newborn Harry and something in your heart just longed for one of your own. 

Maybe it was his chubby cheeks or the gurgled noises he would make. Maybe it was the way he smiled up at you or the way he happily clapped his hands at his mother’s voice. Maybe it was the fact he was so darn cute and your best friend was telling you how every single pain of pregnancy was so worth it in the end just to see that face at the end of it all. 

Ever since that visit, the idea had been haunting you every waking moment and it was starting to overwhelm you. 

You would be making breakfast in the morning and suddenly thoughts about having a small baby giggling in a high chair beside you entered your mind. You could be doing a grocery shop and you’d think about having a baby in the trolley with you as you made your way through the aisles. You thought about beach days with the baby, and the cute little outfits you could put them in and—

It was all you could fucking think about. 

And you didn’t even know how to bring up the idea to your boyfriends. 

Talks of the future were never rare between the three of you. You had talked about living together (which you already were) but buying a bigger place. You had talked about marriage, about how to make the bond work between the three of you if it was something you wanted to do. You had spoken about getting pets even, many jokes passed between the three of you that you needed a third dog to keep you company when both of them were away. 

But children had never been one of the conversations. 

You feared it was something neither of them would want. Between both of their strained relationships with their families, that was enough to make you doubt. Sirius had opened up more than once that he feared becoming like his parents. Meanwhile, Remus had opened up about fearing passing on his condition to any children he had, if he could even have children that was. 

You feared that if you said you wanted a child, it would be a dealbreaker for your boys so you kept it to yourself, even if it was killing you from the inside. 

Both boys knew something was up instantly. The way you jumped at their touches and didn’t seem to initiate affection as much as you usually did. It was odd and they couldn’t work out what was wrong until they had decided to confront you about it.

“For the fiftieth time, there’s nothing wrong,” you insisted as you wandered around the room, picking up random trinkets and setting them somewhere else before repeating the cycle. They both stood in the room with you, watching your every movement and their eyes felt heavy on you. 

“We don’t believe you,” Sirius said, frowning as you started to reorganise the bookshelf for the tenth time. “Love, you know you can tell us anything, right?” 

“Of course,” you breathed out. 

“So tell us,” Remus sighed, a crease between his brows as he reached for you, halting your movements before you started shifting around the furniture. “Darling, please.” 

You looked at his concerned expression and you knew Sirius’ would be no different, and the thought made your chest tighten. You didn’t like lying to your boys or hiding things from them. And the fear consumed you for the last week, whispering things in your head as you distanced yourself from them but you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I want a baby!” you blurted out and both boys froze. 

“Like…a random child off the street or…?” Sirius questioned, frowning a little as he trailed off. 

“No! No,” you blushed in embarrassment as you let out a sigh. “I want children. I want to have babies with you two.” 

Neither of them said anything. 

“Fuck, this is why I didn’t want to say anything,” you groaned, the panic rising in your chest as you ran a shaky hand through your hair. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured and we haven’t even spoke about it but I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s driving me mad and—” 

However, you failed to notice the look both boys shared over your head.

“You want a baby?” Remus asked, his voice a little deeper than it was moments ago.

You nodded your head. 

“You want to carry our children, love?” Sirius asked this time, slipping into the spot behind you as he wound his arms around you. 

You nodded again.

“Say it,” Remus muttered, his eyes darkening as he watched you gulp.

“I want your babies,” you whispered to them.

“Fuck,” Sirius groaned from behind you, his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt and his hands splayed across your stomach. “That’s the hottest thing you have ever said to us.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, you want—”

“Yeah, we do,” Remus grumbled as his fingers wound in your hair, tugging your head back as he stepped closer to you. “Fuck, sweetheart, you should’ve told us earlier.” 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut as Sirius pressed kisses along your neck.

“Just gotta make up for lost time,” Remus grinned, and it was a little sadistic but that just made your thighs clench together in anticipation. 

“Gonna put a baby in you, love,” Sirius growled against your skin. “Gonna knock our girl up good.”

.

[hanzajesthanza]

a lot of the “haha geralt is so annoyed by his friends!!” talk reduces the relationship of geralt & co. to the events of baptism of fire—baptism of fire geralt is very enjoyable to read, but lady of the lake geralt is the final evolution of a beautiful development of character. we really ought to talk more often about how his relationship with his company developed over the next two books and how by the end of it, he felt entirely responsible for their fates.

it can’t really be said that the hanza didn’t mean a lot to geralt and he would have chosen ciri & yen over them no problem. by the end of it he really valued their friendship and company. he literally identified himself as their leader, embraced his role as their leader. only with their company, he was finally able to fully ascended to what he is at heart and who he was meant to be, what his character was created to be: a hero.

he never liked to play sacrificial games. the entire reason he shunned (the majority of) the company (sorry cahir, he took extra issue with you) was that it was too dangerous of an undertaking, and he did not want to risk the lives of anyone else for his personal matters, sticking their necks out for him. it wasn’t just because he’s an old grump and sourpuss—he literally tells this to dandelion and milva multiple times, that he doesn’t want them dying because of him.

he decided against anything that would have put milva in danger when she was pregnant, refusing to risk her life or her unborn child’s life—remaining adamant that he would not sacrifice her child’s life for his own. and similarly when codringher presented him the hypothetical of pawning a decoy girl off on emhyr, he was disgusted at the thought of trampling the life of some innocent girl for the safety of his own.

virtuous to a fault, geralt abhors stepping on another to lift himself up. he won’t even kill innocent creatures to make a quick buck—they have to be real dangers—which, of course, makes him not only poorer and hungrier, but fighting, you guessed it, more dangers. this makes geralt unlike many of the other characters we’re presented with, who, even though they may not want to, agree to make sacrifices for their personal interests or the greater good (though, what’s the difference—the lodge and emhyr called their personal interests the greater good. that’s a big point of how the decisions of those in power is deconstructed in the saga).

i don’t think geralt would have sacrificed his company, given a choice.

but he did choose, of course, despite not being given a choice. it was a necessary sacrifice, though geralt, being the man he is, would never have made such a choice given the option (like the trolley problem—he’s impossible, he would continue to insist that neither of these choices are good and he doesn’t want to choose). i don’t want to kill either shrike or stregobor, i don’t want to take a side in the war, i don’t want to ride to cintra and claim my destiny. the whole saga is about how no matter if you decide to choose or not to choose, destiny still makes you choose. even if you think you can deny and avoid the choice. and after such denial, it stops asking you nicely. death dogs his footsteps, but death couldn’t catch up with him (for a while, at least), so it had to settle for others… the hanza are another, perhaps a final, manifestation of this lesson—calanthe and cintra being the first victims.

he and cahir dragged milva’s dead and bleeding body to safety, risking their own lives in the hail of arrows which rose again once she had fallen. his noble and virtuous heart still looked for cahir and angoulême in the corridor after the fighting had ceased, waiting for them to come out of the empty hall, before ciri shook her head to tell him no one would be coming down it. his scream rung in the air with regis’ as regis was being torn apart. and he, in pain and exhausted, remembered him, to yennefer when she asked, as a friend, and managed to utter some beautifully kind words in his memory.

i don’t think someone like geralt (feeling responsible for deaths of innocents whether they’re even his fault or not) would ever truly get over the loss of his company. after having, with ciri, buried them, by the foot of stygga castle, having to drag the bodies out one by one, close their glassy eyes, mound the wet and cold earth over them. and regretfully glance back at the melted stone column he cannot bury. he was woefully dreary after stygga, and kept returning to their memory as they retraced their steps into the sansretour valley. reminding himself about the sword of destiny with two edges… and again at rivia mourning them with the dwarven company.

we can at least sigh with relief that destiny allowed him to keep dandelion. it had to, because he is just, after all “like a burr on a dog’s tail”—destiny did not quite manage to slip its noose around his neck, for he did not touch destiny, but instead tagged alongside it. (plus, the cameraman never dies). if dandelion died, it would have broken geralt well and truly. it was the longest and deepest connection he ever had. the same goes for the reverse, of course 😬

[ang3lb1iss]

Notre Dame | paris paloma | Part 1 of 2 

Word count: 2.7k 

Pairing: James Potter x F!Bestfriend Reader 

Summary: Hogwarts years | You were James’ best friend since first year. Throughout your years at Hogwarts, you had started to develop a crush on James, but you refused to act on your feelings due to the fact James only ever had eyes for Lily. Now you're sitting at his funeral, reminiscing about the past and you can't help but feel regret and guilt. 

Authors note: This is my first fic /one-shot so forgive me if it isn't that great to read, I just found it fun being able to interpret lyrics into stories about characters I love. The story loosely follows the Marauders scenes in the HP movies. I picture James with either a scouse accent or a really chavvy London accent, but you can picture him however you want. I apologise in advance if the tenses get mixed up, the story is made up of the reader looking back on the past and reliving certain moments. 

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‘I'm in the rafters looking down  It's cold up here  Between walls of stone  I made my home’ 

The church is cold and dim. Especially in the upstairs seating, which is where you are situated. As you try to listen to the speeches full of childhood memories and happier times, you can't help but lose focus and think about the what-ifs and how things could've gone differently. If you had never met James in that cabin on the way to Hogwarts, you wouldn’t be feeling this pain and heartache, but you also wouldn’t have had such a joyful and exciting time at the school. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. “What if it was me and not Lily? Why wasn’t it me? Why did I have to fall for him?” You wonder what the answers to these questions could be, but the harsh truth is that you never will, and you will live with the never-ending ambiguity until the day you die. 

‘And the air hangs heavy with the incense  Feathers fall from pigeons  Cooing in the tower’ 

Your first year, you remember it all so clearly. You were looking to find a cabin for the journey to Hogwarts, but the majority were filled, and in the rest, there were stone-faced older kids that openly sneered at you anytime you walked past them. Until you found his cabin. 

 He was the only one in there and you thought that he looked somewhat friendly, so you decided to take a chance. It ended up being one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. 

 He welcomed you in with a bright smile on his face, despite looking like his face would split with how wide his smile was, he asked you the standard questions, “What's your name? What house d’ya think you'll be in? D’ya want to be mates?” Of course, I wanted to be friends with him, I probably would have been miserable without him in my life but then again, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken now. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

You can recall the way his eyes gleamed when he introduced himself as James. James. Tears sprung to your eyes, making your surroundings go blurry. You can't help but miss the way he proudly said he was a Gryffindor “where dwell the brave at heart” and how Slytherin was full of “evil prats and I'd rather die than be in Slytherin.” You had always admired his pride and how he never let anything upset him too much or for too long. 

That is of course until Lily Evans became more vicious and spiteful in her rejections and jabs. Whenever James was insulted by his “Lilyflower” he let it break down his nonchalant persona and let it cut him deeper than any knife ever could. His Lilyflower. The common factor in all your suffering, you couldn’t blame her of course, it wasn’t her fault that a big oaf like James Potter fell in love with her. But it's not like that fact softened the blow in any way. 

You decided to stop that train of thought before you cried even harder. Instead, you choose to remember when the Trolley Lady came to the door and being breath taken at the assortment of sweet treats. Upon looking in your purse which was just a pouch, you’d realised that you didn’t have enough to get the Bertie Botts Every flavour Beans that you would've liked, with disappointment quickly replacing your awestruck expression, you had declined and took to looking out the window instead of having to see the trolley taunting you with all its colours and designs.  

That’s when you heard him. 

“We’ll take the lot of ‘em” you heard him say and you had insisted that he shouldn’t be wasting his money on you, but he simply drowned out your pleas and focused on the shock of the Trolley Lady. He was always so generous. 

After much reluctance and countless Thank you’s, you'd decided to have a few cauldron cakes and indulge in a chocolate frog when a small timid boy opened the compartment door and asked if anyone had seen his toad, he introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and he ended up sitting with the both of you for the rest of the journey while you had pulled out a book to read and ended up falling asleep with your head leaning on the compartment wall. 

‘I rarely go down there, the view's just so beautiful from here  And I can see everybody at their worst points  At their worst points’ 

You start to remember the moment you openly started looking at James differently. It was the end of third year, and he had just won the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin after declaring during dinner in the great hall that Gryffindor was 100% going to win and he would “wipe his arse with the slithering bastards”.  

You also remember his mumbling and moaning about having to go to detention and you remember him being too busy laying his head on your lap when you both were in your dorm and going to sleep while you read a book. 

 But there he was on his broom hovering above the crowd that had formed to celebrate the win with him. The noise of screams, chants and shouts reverberated across the entirety of the school grounds. The thought of it making you shiver. While James was practically the same shade as the snitch by how brightly his smile was beaming, you were perfectly content with watching him from the Gryffindor stands and away from the chaos that was the Quidditch pitch. 

To this day you can still feel the way your heart skipped a beat when he looked up and smiled at you. At least you thought it was at you. You noticed his wet hair, whether it was because of the rain, him sweating or a combination of both, you didn’t care. His curly dark brown hair that normally looked so fluffy and messy that you just wanted to run your hands through it and make it somewhat tidier.  

His arms that made his jersey look to be too tight, it made you picture scenarios with him being able to carry you places when you got too tired, fighting someone who tried to hurt you. You are still quite ashamed to admit the times when you got flustered at the thought of him using them to pin you against a wall and having a heated makeout session in a broom cupboard. 

Thoughts aside, you had decided to retire to your dorm for a quick nap. The cold can be very tiring. You gathered your things and stood up only to see Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat together directly behind you. You hadn't even noticed them while you watched James previously. 

Lily and Peter said hello while Remus only managed an awkward tight-lipped smile. You and Remus didn’t become friends until your seventh year when you both bonded over being unrequited lovers. The reason for this being that you always felt like he could see through you. He knew things about people before they even knew it themselves which always made you paranoid that he could see your feelings for James and tell him, and as a result, ruining the best friendship you ever had. At least I don’t need to be paranoid anymore.  

Your mind skipped to fifth year, when you were sitting with the Marauders on a warm sunny day, exams had just ended, and you all were just waiting for the results to be calculated. That’s when you heard the boys get up and walk over to a nearby tree. You looked over and saw a mop of stringy black hair and a pale face with an expression of distaste painted on his face. Snivellous,, the foul git.  

You had chosen to stay far back enough that you could still see what happens clearly but ensured you weren't too close as to avoid McGonagall's wrath if she were to show up at the scene.  

The next thing you knew was that Snivellous was hanging upside down in mid-air. Levicorpus. You remember coming across the charm in the library with Sirius and James while looking for more spells for future pranks. You never got involved in the pranks because you didn’t fancy sitting in a silent room for an hour for detention or, Merlin forbid, whatever task Filch might've issued you with. 

There was always a slight rift between you and Sirius because of your refusal to get involved in pranks, he would never have outwardly said it in front of James or Peter because of their loyalty to you, but he disliked how you would only ever consider helping them if James had asked you. You were the only girl in Hogwarts he couldn’t sway with his charm and good looks. And Merlin did it get him jealous. Not that you had noticed back then at least. 

You ended that tangent before it made you spiral down a rabbit hole of confusion. You thought back the past, Snape was being held high by none other than James Potter. His fluffy green Slytherin socks and the sparse leg hair upon his dry ashen legs, were left on display for everyone to see. You had wondered what provoked James into performing such a spell. But your question was left unanswered as your attention had gone to Snape being dropped back onto the ground and Lily Evans being called a “Filthy Mudblood.” by her old childhood best friend. 

If anger meant seeing red, then James wasn’t seeing anything but of blind rage. “Don’t you dare call her that word you vile, disgusting creature.” There was an array of insults and cussing until Lily had brought him back to his senses. She told Snivellous to piss off and she waited until he was far enough away to round on James and unleash the anger that had been building inside her for years. 

You couldn’t hear what she said due to the fact she had put a silencing charm on the area but based off what James whimpered and whined about while he dreamt in your bed with you for comfort, she had probably said something along the lines of “I would rather kill myself then ever be your girl, Potter.” Hindsight is a funny thing after all. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of your heart at the fact that his soul had latched onto Lily and not you, not even giving you a chance.  

That was the night you realised that you would never get the guy. You will forever be condemned to loving James Potter. Your life will continue to be tormented with the possibilities that could've happened, the dreams that made you weep with despair and the everlasting longing and desire slowly encasing your heart until it breaks and shatters. James Potter was the light of your life, but he also caused the darkness that it left behind. James Potter was the sun, but now everything has gone dark. 

‘I'm not a sadist, I enjoy just being able to be witness of the loneliness and fear  I abhor in case there isn't one  In case there isn't one’ 

After that night, after your tragic discovery had become the only thing running through your head. You had pathetically tried to recover the way you saw James before you fell for him. You tried for 2 long years with no luck. He still had your attention and heart, and yet he didn’t realise he had either. So, when the Marauders split for the night, you decided to ask for help. 

You were suffocating with the grief and the mourning of what could've been. And you needed someone to help you breathe. 

With Peter and Sirius headed to the dorm, James doing his Head-Boy patrols with Lily, it was only you and Remus left in the library, the map and the invisibility cloak set to the side until you both decided to leave. It turns out you didn’t even need to say anything because Remus knew exactly what was going through your head. 

He saw the adoration in your eyes when you looked at your best friend, he saw the longing and upset you tried to hide when you heard him constantly talk about marrying Lily and having “Mini Potters” with her. No matter how well you tried, you couldn’t help but subtly display your inner turmoil. 

And Remus saw it all.  

“You're in love with James, aren't you, I see the way your eyes shine brighter, and your smile gets bigger when he enters the room. But he doesn’t love you back and you know it. I know you know it. And I know you’ve known it for years now. But I know what it's like, it feels like a constant weight on your chest and when they walk in the room, it disappears even if you try to hold it down, but then their presence, their joy, their affection for someone else, drains you, the energy you put in to try make them notice your love just gets brushed away until eventually it leaves you so empty that you become a hollow shell of the person that fell for them all that time ago.” 

“I can't tell you how to get rid of it simply because I don’t know how to, but I can offer you some advice that I should've taken before it was too late. Leave, Leave them alone. Leave their life. It'll suck balls for the first while I'm sure but by staying you're degrading yourself. All your insecurities and the suffering you're facing now will pass. This is doomed love sweetheart. You're slowly breaking down. Leave. Before you can't piece yourself together again.” 

And with that he leaves the library. 

How are you supposed to leave his life? How are you supposed to keep him out of yours? The questions won't stop plaguing your mind, do you take Remus's advice and move on, or do you ignore him and feel your heart pull and crack every time you see him. The choice will be the most difficult one you will ever make and yet it’s the one that needs to be made. 

You walk into potions the next day, you thought that it would help make a choice if you avoided him for a day as a trial. Instead of sitting in your normal seat, you walked over and sat beside a Ravenclaw who you believed was called Pandora.  

The Marauders walked in and sat at their tables; you avoided James’ gaze when you looked over to you in confusion, but Remus diverted his attention elsewhere. You had inwardly thanked Remus for helping you out. 

As the lesson went on everything got worse and your decision became clearer and clearer. 

Since the year started, James had started to think twice about the pranks, he acted more mature in general and overall started becoming a man. All of this was for Lily of course. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he would do the same thing for you if he chose you in the first place. 

You were taking notice of all the little things that you're usually too delusional to notice. 

How every time he made a joke or laughed; he would glance at Lily. You could feel your heart in your throat. 

How he would wink and smirk at her when he got an answer correct. A tear forms in your eye. 

How he would look over at her to make sure she understood the topic. Another tear forms. 

How he whispers the answer in her ear if she doesn’t know it. Another one 

How he shines with pride when Professor Slughorn appraises her. Another. 

More tears form until you couldn’t stop them anymore. Thankfully the class was dismissed, and you quickly left before the tears fell and left a salty trail down your cheek. A representation of your life back then. Although in thinking that you can't help but notice that it didn’t get any better. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

17th Day of Christmas

A Christmas Surprise on Set

Summary/Prompt -  Surprising your S/O by turning up on set when they get delayed and can’t make it home

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader

Christmas Masterlist | Masterlist

A week has passed since Jensen first called you and broke the news that filming was going to run late. The delays paired with the current snowy conditions in Vancouver meant that the chances of him making it home to celebrate with his family were extremely slim. So instead, you decided to bring Christmas to him. With Jared also caught there it was easy to convince Genevieve to help with the surprise. Her help has been instrumental in making it a possibility in such a short amount of time.

You’ve been working long days to get everything done in time. Staying up for hours after the kids are tucked up in bed to wrap presents and pack everything you need, from clothes and accessories for yourself and your kids to decorations and finally presents. Luckily the kid’s stuff doesn’t take up much space so you’re able to use some of their allocated luggage for everything else.

As you finish organising everything into the car your phone rings. You smile as you see your husband’s name pop up, but you also panic because you know you have to meet Gen at the airport soon. Not wanting him to stress, you answer while carefully angling the camera so he won’t see the packed car.

“Hey, Babe, what’s up?” you ask as nonchalantly as you can manage.

“Hey, Beautiful. Just missing you and the kids, thought I’d check in.”

You almost give in and tell him everything as you look at his sad, tired features, but you stay strong, knowing how much better it will be when you get there. “We miss you too.”

“Can I see them?”

“We’re actually just on our way to visit Gen and the kids. She’s struggling without Jared too. So, unfortunately, I can’t talk long.”

“She won’t mind if you’re a little late.”

“I know. I should just really make sure they’re ready. Sorry, Honey, I love you.”

“Alright. Will you call me when you get home?”

“Uh…Jens…I“

“It’s our first Christmas apart…” You hear his voice break indicating he’s holding back tears.

“I know. I just...”

“You gotta go, I get it. I love you.”

“I’ll talk to you tonight, I promise.”

He nods and then ends the call. Your heart breaks but you can’t let the emotions take over right now. You run into the house to hurry the kids along.

“Come on, guys! We gotta go!” you call out. Within seconds they’re running downstairs. You lock up the house behind them and then help them into their car seats.

“You guys ready to see Daddy?” you ask excitedly as you drive to the airport.

“Can’t wait!” “Miss him so much!” Your kids say in unison.

“Me too.”

About 20 minutes later you finally park your car in long-term parking and unpack your luggage onto a trolley. The kids stay close by your side as you walk to check in. Once everything is checked and you make it through security you find Gen and her three rascals and sit with them while waiting to board.

The kids are restless and excited for the entire flight, making them a handful for the two of you to manage. You just keep reminding yourself of how worth it, it will be when you see Jensen. His show of emotion earlier tells you that he doesn’t know or suspect anything; then again you have to remind yourself he is an amazing actor, except your heart tells you those tears were real.

When you finally touch down in Vancouver it’s even harder to manage the five hyperactive children. They try to bolt through the airport so you and Gen have to yell at them to slow down multiple times. Then they won’t stop bouncing around impatiently at the baggage claim. Not that either of you blames them; you’re both just as excited on the inside, just a little more exhausted from all the planning and execution. As organised, Clif meets you both at the baggage claim to help with carting the luggage and the children, as well as providing a lift to set. You both thank him profusely.

“You kiddin’ me. Those boys have been moping around without you. You’re doing me a favour by lightening them up.”

“You sure they have no idea?” you ask.

“If they do, they’re hiding it well.”

“That’s great,” Gen says. “I can’t wait to see their reactions.”

The closer you get to their set, the more your leg bounces with anticipation. The second Clif parks the car you swing your door open before he even shuts off the engine.

“Hey!” he calls out. “Leave your stuff in the van. I’ll take you all home later. Go get your men!”

“Thanks, Clif,” you say.

You look at the gates but stop to help the kids out of their seats so you can all go in together. You all walk in to set together before splitting to go to your husband’s respective trailers. You hush your kids and make a plan on the way. You and your youngest sit and hide around the corner of the trailer while your oldest goes to knock and then runs back to you. 

“I’ll be there in a minute!” you hear Jensen call out.

You wait impatiently until his trailer door squeaks open. The second he emerges your children run over and tackle him. Despite being caught off guard he catches them both in his arms and squeezes them tight. You record the moment on your phone and then slowly make your way over to join them. The second his eyes land on you he carefully lowers the kids back to their feet, despite their protests.

“You…” he says. “I love you.” You smile despite his tears and he pulls you into his arms, kissing you softly.

“I told you I’d talk to you tonight.”

He chuckles. “You always do keep your promises.”

“Merry Christmas, Jensen.”

“Merry Christmas, Beautiful. I couldn’t ask for a better present.” You kids wrap their arms around your legs and Jensen pulls them into the group hug.

After a few minutes, Jared, Gen and their kids emerge from his trailer and you all go to the catering tent. Once you all sit down with a plate of food, Jensen wraps an arm around your shoulder, looks over and Jared and says, “We really did get the best wives on the planet.”

Jared nods and kisses Gen’s head. “We really did.”

[blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms]

Aviophobia- Luke Alvez

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Characters: Luke Alvez

Warnings: N/A

Request: Anon- Hey, could I request Luke Alvez X reader where Luke is comforting reader during an uneasy flight, please? Have a lovely week(end)!

Word Count: 592

Author: Charlotte

You had never been a fan of flying. Being in a tin can thousands of feet in the air didn’t seem appealing by any means but it was part of your job and you had decided to grin and bear it. Your team were aware that you were scared of flying but not the extent of it. It seemed rather stupid that you could handle going into the field facing the worst of the worst in people but the journey there was resulting in you taking anxiety medication to get through it.

Since you had been part of the BAU you had been taking your medication religiously. As soon as you were told that you would be heading onto the jet you would pop your pill and the anxiety of flying would be subsided enough that no one else could even notice you were nervous, and you certainly weren’t planning on letting on to the fact that you were coping with part of your job by medicating.

Your latest case had been in Wisconsin and when you had packed your stuff back up to head on the four-hour flight to Quantico, you realised that you had misplaced your medication. You searched every inch of your belongings but there was no sight of them and with the rest of the team waiting for you to head to the jet, you had to just accept you would have to fly without them.

Most of the team sat together but you headed off to the back of the jet to hope that no one would notice the distress you would feel until you landed. The take-off had left you almost in tears, your heart pounding in your chest and breathing unsteady. You had sunk down in your seat, hoping that the seat in front of you would shield you from your colleagues.

Your plan worked for a short while. Luke had gotten up to grab a drink from the trolley that was parked at the back of the jet but as he passed by your seat, he noticed how unlike yourself you seemed.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asked.

You shot him a glare and shushed him, not wanting him to bring your state to the attention of anyone else. He slipped into the seat beside you.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, what’s going on?”

“Aviophobia,” you squeaked.

Luke cocked an eyebrow at you. “You’re scared of flying? We fly constantly and you’re never like this.”

You tried to take a deep breath to regulate your anxiety, but it was shakier and far more painful than you intended.

“I normally take medication, but I can’t find it and I’ve had to just deal with it but it’s so much worse than I thought it would be,” you whispered, your voice hoarse and strained.

You knew he had questions but now wasn’t the time to get answers or pry into why you put yourself through your biggest anxiety for the sake of your job.

There was only one appropriate question for him to ask. “How can I help?”

Instinct was all you could follow. You’d never felt so much anxiety and without being able to medicate yourself, you just needed some form of comfort, whatever felt right at the time.

“C-could you hold my hand?” You whispered.

Luke didn’t hesitate to do as you asked, instantly linking his fingers with your own.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“Just talk to me, and please don’t tell anyone.”

He offered you a gentle smile. “Of course.”

[carmenized-onions]

Ahhh this was incredible! Allow me to spiral

Chip checking Carmy’s location even though she’s upset and is convinced he hates her 💔

Syd once again being the absolute best and Richie waiting on his informer’s say in order to even consider forgiving Carmy…I love them

“whore-d’oeuvres” makes sense and should be the only acceptable pronunciation of the word

Carmen doing Chip’s prep entirely by himself before making her a sandwich just like Mikey used to make and even giving her a granola to snack on…as Chip said, fuck this fucking guy for making it hard to stay mad at him 🫠

I also love how you reiterated that he’s not good with words so instead he channels what he’s feeling into his craft and Chip, bless her heart, understands that this is him trying to apologize and sends her own olive branch in the form of the lavender coffee 🥺

Lol her beating herself up for not being petty enough and giving Carmy the cold shoulder for a while longer/indefinitely is such a mood

“Can I get a uh…a Negroni…sbagliato? With prosecco?” EMMA D’ARCY was a guest at this wedding?!

He’s still using her hair products and the Old Spice body wash she prefers…oh be still my heart

Also, thank you for letting the cat eat the flowers 😂 I couldn’t decide on the plate, but now I see that bringing it back in to be put away was the right choice. It means so much to her, so it wouldn’t feel right to let it be destroyed

And for Chip to say that Carmy, despite all his faults, somehow makes every space easier to breathe in for her and lights up a room for her is so heartbreakingly beautiful because that’s exactly what she does for him and what Mikey once did for them both. But they don’t seem to realize the effect they have on each other and it’s too late for Mikey to realize it at all 💔 I’m not crying

Chip wondering if she’ll ever get to have a wedding like this and taking notes of what she would want to include in her own 🫠 I just know she’s going to be making a Pinterest board soon

The whole bit with Fak was the perfect example of comedic relief 😂

“It was extremely apt and even more upsetting for him, the way time literally stopped, when you left. When he made you leave.” Once again, your skills 😮‍💨

Ahh I wasn’t expecting Uncle fucking Lee to show up! Loved that Chip put him in his place and was prepared to stab his old ass with a fork lmao (and Carmen ready to swing at him for throwing that fake punch at Chip??? 🙃)

Chip being really sweet to that man who’s in recovery is just…she really is the best and deserves all the good things life has to offer 😔

And that ending…I never would’ve guessed what ICE stood for and I’m glad I didn’t because I had that “ohhhh” moment just like Carmen lol

So she had Mikey make folders of all the people who loved him so he could remember that life was still worth living 💔

And all along she was his sponsor…I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Also, I knew she wasn’t in a relationship/situationship with Mikey because she’s right, Richie would’ve said some shit to Carmen 😂

TL;DR: I LOVED this chapter, A+++ for you 💜💜💜

Thank you as always for spiraling and letting me be a part of it as always!! i'll never be able to express how grateful i am. so i won't even try.

The way Chip/Syd/Richie all show the different ways they care in those first few scenes,,, GRREEAHHH!!! that's what it's all about baby mother FUCK!

fuck this fucking guy is right! how dare he make Chip fold so quick and make a fuckin lavender coffee!! son of a bitch! i hope he drowns in it ! i love him !

EMMA D'ARCY IS AT EVERY WEDDING! I also did find out from a bartender that i love and trust that negroni sbagliatos taste terrible. i can't confirm this for myself i did not try it but i do feel like based on what's in it, probably yeah.

I think wildly enough that poll went to frisbee that fucking plate or don't destroy either. I went with it as a sort of trolley problem for chip LMAO-- Like letting the Cat do it's thing was not pulling the lever, and putting the plate back inside was like well this is what i'd normally do. And listen plants can grow back.

But to be honest in the original concept of Just Dropped that plate was getting yeeted out the fucking window it was gonna be . so sad.

EXACTLY MAN!! EXACTLY WITH THE BREATHING EASY-- I just think it's very special with the way Carmen constantly pedestals her, including in this chapter, and it's like my guy she thinks you're inspiring and calming ! get it together!

Chip is a DIY queen too i KNOW her boards are crazy. she's making a new one every two seconds frfrfr

COMEDIC RELIEF BUT STILL I THINK SO MUCH CHARACTER / LORE REVEALED I really liked that bit. I told y'all I'd tackle the handyman beef eventually!!

Listen Uncle Lee showing up was the FIRST thing Chip asked Jimmy about I knew damn well I had to put him in there and really just fucking. GRREEEAAAHHHHHH. I have a lot of. personal anger. about. his whole being. i would just fucking.... It was therapy honestly, for me, to write this motherfucker getting taken to motherfucking task.

CHIP STAYS ON TOP! And she brings everyone up with her too i love my baby

and 100% AS CHIP SAID MAN THINK ON IT FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS OF C OU R SE RICHIE WOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING IF HE HAD EVEN AN INKLING CARMEN WAS FEELIN A TYPE OF WAY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AGAIN IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT I HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEXT ONE DROPPING AT 11 PM EST YEEHAW LOVE YOU BYE!!

[sixpennydame]

North Star✶Chapter 2

A Levi Ackerman x oc slow burn

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Read in AO3

Levi tries to escape his ghosts, and he thinks he's found the perfect place. He just didn’t expect to find you there.

A/N: Thank you to @youre-ackermine for providing a mood board for Mursa. I can't wait to explore this town more in following chapters.

Would you say that of our fallen comrades? Their lives, were they meaningless? No, they weren't! It's us who gives meaning to our comrades' lives!

It feels like…my time has come. Hey Levi, can we face our dead comrades with pride?

Devote….your heart…..

Can you still see us?….Levi….Levi…

LEVI! 

Levi wakes up with a start. 

“Captain Levi! You alive in there? We gotta be at Council Hall in 20 minutes!”

“Shit.” Levi gets out of bed and goes to the closet. He never oversleeps - what’s going on with him lately? And why can he never escape these dreams?

He limps to the water basin to wash his face. Levi was able to adjust to losing sight in his right eye and two of his fingers, but two years later, his left leg still gives him trouble. He had worked hard to recuperate; although it was incredibly painful it was a hell of a lot better than being pushed around by Gabi and Falco in that damn wheelchair. He’s resigned himself to the fact that he’ll never walk normally again. He grabs his hat and jacket and opens the door to see Jean standing there.

“Damn, Captain. I knew you never really slept before, but this is overboard, don’t you think?” Jean teased. 

“Shut up. I may have a bum knee but I can still beat your ass to a pulp. And how many times do I have to tell you: I’m not your captain anymore,” Levi huffs, as they both walk down the stairs and out the door.

“Ok, ok, I hear you loud and clear,” Jean says, lifting his hands in surrender, “The rest are meeting us there. Let’s take the trolley.”

The city of Lira became the capital of Marley as most of the northern and eastern coasts had been completely decimated by The Rumbling. The few that were left of the central government and military converged here and began the slow reconstruction process. 80% of the world’s population was gone and those that survived needed food and shelter. Lawlessness increased when those who’d lost everything converged upon cities that weren’t destroyed. Because Lira was further inland, it was left fairly intact, and this is where Levi and the other surviving Scouts ended up after leaving Fort Salta. 

Not that Levi had much of an option of places to go. After the Battle of Heaven and Earth and the destruction of the Founding Titan, he and the others were deemed enemies of Paradis. Mikasa was the only one brave enough to return to the island, in order to bury Eren in his homeland. Levi, Armin, Connie, and Jean decided to stay in Marley as advisors to the military and assist with reconstruction efforts. Pieck, Annie, and Reiner tried to build homes with the other displaced Eldians.

“Home..”, Levi thought, as he rode the trolley car to Council Hall. Is this where he was fated to stay for the remainder of his days? His closest friends dead and gone, and he, the lone survivor again. No longer in a physical state to fight as a soldier, yet he keeps pushing forward. But to what end? Now that there are no more titans, what is his purpose?

“‘Bout time you two got here,” Connie smirks, “they hate it when we’re late.” 

“Don’t blame me, I had to rouse Capt- uh, Levi - from the dead this morning.”

“You’re hilarious, Jean,” Levi replies dryly. “Let’s go, brats.”

After meeting upon meeting regarding road development to a fort in the west, Connie, Jean, and Armin invite Levi to eat dinner with them. While the young men discuss a possible peace envoy to Paradis in the near future, Levi silently listens, but his mind is elsewhere. He doesn’t care about building roads and peace treaties. He’s tired of the constant struggle. 

Levi stands up to leave. “Where are you going?”, Armin asks.

“Back to my place. I’m tired.” He grabs his jacket and hat. 

“Does he seem grumpier than usual?” Connie whispers, just within earshot of Levi, as he walks out the door of the cafe and down the road back to his apartment. The sun is starting to set and shopkeepers are closing for the night. Lira just got electricity and the street lights blink on. He thinks about how he looked up at the stars that night long ago with Farlan and Isabelle. When the sky was endless and riding beyond the walls was the pinnacle of freedom. The city lights of Lira make it impossible to see the stars tonight. 

He wants to escape. Somewhere far away where he’s not known as a devil of Paradis, Eldian, or ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’. He’s done what he promised for Erwin and his comrades, but their ghosts still haunt him.

As he enters his apartment, he opens the drawer of his desk and takes out a map. He’s got to get away from this city and make his own way in the world, away from the responsibilities of being a soldier. He looks at the map of Marley and traces his finger west, far west into the mountains. “Mursa”, he says, as he sees the name on the map. Why does this name sound familiar to him? It looks to be at least a three-day train ride, but it would be just far enough to escape all this. He gets up from his bed and begins to pack a small bag. He collects the money he’s been saving and folds the map up to bring along. He starts to feel the slightest tinge of guilt leaving the group behind. He’s known them for so long, but they’re capable young men with dreams of building this new world; they don’t need him - not anymore. 

 Levi writes them a note and leaves it on his desk. He decides he’ll leave Lira and The Scouts behind come dawn tomorrow, and turns out  his light.

The next morning, Jean is knocking loudly on Levi’s door again. “Oi! Levi! Two days in a row is a bit much. I have a mind to just leave you”- he notices when he turns the doorknob that the door is unlocked. “What the hell has gotten into you? Hello?” Jean looks around and sees a note on the small dining table:

Jean, Connie, Armin ~

It’s time for me to move on. Take care of yourselves.

~Levi

——- ✶ ——-

You knew the journey back to Mursa would be difficult, but you never imagined it would be like this. As the wagon made its way further from the fort, all you could see were steaming, decomposing titan bodies. The steam covered the sky making it a perpetual evening. It was as if a giant bomb had gone off and decimated whole towns, where only ruins of buildings and flattened bodies remained. As you made it closer to the mountains, the titan carcasses became less frequent, but they had still done some damage. You prayed Mursa was still there. The small town was seated in a valley between two large mountain ranges, and the only way to get there was to take a long, winding road through the south range. At the best of times it was treacherous, and you wondered what it was like now. When that wagon would go no further, you hitchhiked with whoever would take you further. After four days, you finally arrived exhausted, dirty, and starving. Your friend Mabel was the first to see you wandering aimlessly down the road. “Catherine?! My god!” She ran towards you as you practically fell into her arms.

In these two years since The Rumbling, you’ve helped the town to slowly rebuild, as many of the buildings and homes had been weakened from the earthquake-like impact of the titans. You kept yourself as busy as you could, since it helped to divert your mind from thinking too much about your own loss. But every night, you returned to the large home that Martin and you once shared. It was actually his family home, but his mother and father had passed and his younger brother hadn’t been seen in years, and seemed to have no interest in returning to Mursa or living in the home. At first, the loneliness of all the empty rooms nearly drove you crazy. In every corner there were memories and photos of your previous life. You have no memory of your parents, and Marten’s father brought you in when he’d found you as a small child wandering in the woods. They never officially adopted you, but you loved them as your own family; it was no surprise when you and Marten finally fell in love. Now they were all gone and only their pictures remained: too painful to look at, but you couldn’t bear to put them away.

After a year, you decided to turn the home into a boarding house. Silver had recently been found in the mountains, and that had brought more people in looking for a temporary place to stay until they started their own homestead or moved on. There were five other  bedrooms in the house, and it was frequently full. In the past two years, you’ve created a nice routine for yourself: wake up at dawn, go out to the chicken coop and collect eggs, make breakfast, clean, do laundry, work in the garden, prepare dinner, talk and play piano with the tenants in the sitting room, go to sleep. On the weekends you’d go horseback riding in the meadow outside town. You’ve discovered that the busier you are, the less time you have to linger on the deep sadness you felt in your heart - constantly surrounded by people, but always feeling alone.

“Catherine, another amazing dinner. Would you just marry me already?” Max said, after a hearty laugh. The other four guests laughed as well.

“Oh Max, I’m sure you say that to all the women in Mursa.” You tease. Max has been living in the house for 3 months and was always joking and laughing. 

“She is way too good for you Max. You don’t stand a chance!” Albert added. “Seriously, Cathy, I don’t know how you do it all. Here - let me help you with those plates.”

“The pleasure is all mine! But if I don’t find another tenant for the other room I might be in trouble.”

“Ah, don’t worry, Catherine,” Max replies, as he puts his arm around your shoulder, “it’ll all work out. And if nobody takes it…can I have that room? It’s got a bigger window.”

“Absolutely not! It’s right across from my room and I don’t want to hear you snoring every night. Now it’s your turn to do dishes.” You laugh as you make your way into the kitchen.

——- ✶ ——-

The last leg of the journey to Mursa was proving more difficult than Levi thought. The train stop deeper into the mountains still hadn’t been repaired, so he found himself stranded at the train station in Levaro, just at the base of the southern mountain range. Levi’s choices were to get lucky and find someone taking a wagon or truck there or to buy a horse and ride into the mountains. He decided on the latter - he’d always loved horseback riding and it would be good to have a horse anyway, should anything happen. He stopped at the stables in Levaro to see what he could get.

“Mursa, eh? That’s quite a journey on horseback, especially since the roads still ain’t so good. Beautiful country…but usually a place where people go to forget or be forgotten.” the stable owner says. 

“Sounds exactly like what I’m looking for,” Levi replies, taking out his wallet. “How much for the brown mare?”

As Levi made his way further into the mountains, he realized he’d made the right choice in buying a horse. Many of the roads were in serious disarray, and being worked on in sections. Levi could see a large group of workers repairing the train tracks that went into Mursa. After a two-day ride, the two mountain ranges opened up to a beautiful, green valley, with Mursa settled neatly within. At this height, Levi could see one main road with several stone houses dotted throughout, and although the journey here was long and difficult, he could understand why people would want to settle here. A creek ran through the northern side of town and there were a few farms on the outskirts of town and what Levi thought to be several horses grazing in a large meadow.

It was late morning, and Mursa was bustling with people buying goods and talking with each other. Although the town had grown in three years, the townspeople could still spot an outsider, and Levi felt all eyes on him as he entered a small restaurant to eat breakfast. As he ate, he went over what he needed to do: find a place to stay, and then find a job. A bath would also be nice, he thought to himself. He asked the waitress about any hotels in town. 

“There’s the Songbird Hotel just down the way, but if you’re looking to stay a while I’d suggest the boarding house just down the road. Catherine was telling me she had a room to rent. Tell her Maddie sent ya.”

Maddie gave Levi directions on how to find the house, but as there was only one main road through Mursa and it was the very last house outside of the town center, it was easy to find. 

The first thing Levi noticed about the house was that it was old but well-kept. Wild flowers of all different colors covered the front garden and roses grew along the white picket fence and up the front walls beside the front door. Even though the house was just outside of town, there was a quiet peace here, with only the chirping of birds being heard. 

He tied his horse to the fence, opened the front gate, and knocked on the door, but there was no reply. As he was about to leave, he heard something from behind the house. You were singing and humming to yourself, as you always do when you hang all the bedding out to dry. You see a shadow from behind one of the sheets and lift it up. 

He recognizes you immediately. Your wavy hair was tied up, but some strands had fallen around your face, loosened by the wind. Your eyes, no longer red and tear-stained, now bright and shining. What are the odds that you would be here, in this town? And then Levi remembers; you had mentioned Mursa in that hangar bay. You smiled as you saw him, and he could have sworn you recognized him too. 

“Oh! you startled me! How can I help you?” You felt slightly embarrassed that this man came upon you as you were singing your heart out, especially since he seemed so serious. You assumed he was a veteran, since he had a long scar across his face, but maybe he worked in the mines as well. He didn’t look like he was from around here, but most of the workers that came through Mursa these days were from all over.

It doesn’t seem that you recognize him after all. He was wearing a lot of bandages at the time, so of course you wouldn’t know him. Maybe it’s better that way, he thought. It was a painful time. “Maddie told me you had a room to rent. I’m looking to stay in Mursa for a while.”

His accent was different from others you’d heard, and you wondered where he came from. “Yes, I do. You came at the perfect time, actually. Let me show you around the house. Follow me.”

You grab your empty laundry basket and he follows through the back door of the house. The kitchen is large, with several cabinets, a gas stove, and even an ice box, which Levi was impressed to see. “I cook breakfast and dinner every day for all tenants, seven days a week. A portion of your rent goes to buying groceries but you’re welcome to buy whatever you like and store it here. You can also use the kitchen as much as you like; all I ask is that you clean up any messes you make.”

“Cleaning is no problem for me”, Levi replied. As you both leave the kitchen and enter the dining room, he notices that everything is spotless.

“That’s great to hear. I’m a bit of a clean freak, so I expect the tenants to keep their rooms clean and to help me with chores around the house every once in a while. I’m only one woman.” You say, as you lead him into the sitting room. 

Levi follows you into a beautiful sitting room with two sofas, a small writing desk, and a piano in the corner. The fireplace has a large stone hearth and mantle with several photographs displayed. “This is our sitting room, or lounge area. We all enjoy coming in here after dinner and reading or playing music. I do ask for everyone to be quiet after sundown, since most of the men who live here have to get up rather early for work.”

“It’s only men who live here with you? That seems a bit dangerous for a woman.”

You give the man a serious look. “All of my tenants are completely respectful, though some are a little rough around the edges. But I can assure you, I can take care of myself should there be any trouble.”

“Understood,” Levi replies. “I have no doubt you can defend yourself. I meant no offense.”

He looks at you and you can tell he’s being sincere. “None taken. Let me show you the room you’ll rent.” You walk out of the sitting room, past the front door and down the hallway. “There are four bedrooms upstairs and two down here, one of them being mine.” You take your keys and open the door to the room across from yours. It’s a spacious room with a large armoire, dresser, and brass bed. “This is it. I hope you don’t mind that there’s only one wash room on this floor, so you’ll be sharing it with me, but we have indoor toilets and hot running water; we’re one of the few places in town to have that.”

“Looks great. I’d like to move in immediately, if possible. And maybe take a bath too.”

“You have yourself a deal, Mr…”

He doesn’t know at first if he should use his full name, but doubts that any detailed information about Paradis or him has reached this far out. “Ackerman. Levi Ackerman.”

You shake his hand. “I’m Catherine Reader. Welcome home.” You say with a smile as you hand him the key. “I’ll get the contract ready while you take a bath. There’s towels and soap in there if you need.”

Levi starts the bath water then walks to his room, puts his duffle bag on the bed, and grabs a clean set of clothes. He takes a long sigh as he settles into the bathtub. It was a little silly, he thought, you welcoming him “home”, as if he was some long lost part of the family. But something about how you said it with that warm smile made him feel relaxed for the first time in a long time. The bath was helping with that too.

After Levi bathed and put on some clean clothes, he walked to the kitchen, where you were taking out some cups and your hot water kettle. There was a small table in the center of the room and when he saw the contract there, he sat down to read it. 

“Would you like some coffee or tea? I’m just heating up some water. If you want tea I’m afraid all I have is jasmine. I’m the only one who drinks tea in the house and it’s my favorite”

“Tea would be great. And jasmine’s my favorite too, actually.”

“Really? What a coincidence! I only thought there was coffee or black tea in the world until this gentleman I met down at a cafe on the coast bought me some jasmine tea to bring home. It changed my life,” you say with a laugh.

Levi’s eyes widen. “Oh really? How long ago was that?”

“Oh gosh, about…two, three years ago. Feels like an eternity, though. Everything is so different now.”

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You had to have been the woman he ran into on the piers and then met later at that cafe. It was coincidence enough that you were the same person he met in the hangar at Fort Salta, and now he was going to live in your house. He stifled a laugh. Three random meetings, and you had no idea who he was. He decided to keep his discovery to himself for now.

“Yeah, everything has certainly changed.”

—��- ✶ ——-

While Levi took his horse to the stables and settled into his new room, you started preparations for dinner. Your new guest seemed…particular….to say the least. You could have sworn you saw him run his finger across the credenza as you were showing him around the sitting room. For some reason, you wanted to impress this man, even though you’d just met him. You were going to make a simple soup tonight, but decided to make your specialty: breaded pork cutlets with mashed potatoes and greens from the garden. 

As you finished cooking, you heard the others arriving home from work. 

“Catherine, we bring gifts!” Max exclaims, entering loudly through the door as usual.

You meet them at the door. “Peaches! Mr. Nuzzo’s orchard is producing already?”

“Yep, and we all pitched in and bought a bushel for you,” Luka replied. 

“I’ll have to make a pie with these tomorrow. Thank you so much! Go wash up - dinner will be ready in 15 minutes.”

You’re taking out the dishes when Levi enters the dining room. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Could you set the silverware? I’ll go grab the glasses.”

“Was that the other tenants I heard coming in?”

“Yes, they all arrived in Mursa in the last several months. They can be a bit obnoxious, but they’re young and just starting out on their own,” you laugh as you set the glasses at each place.

The others come downstairs, freshly bathed, and take their seats at the table. “Catherine, is that your famous pork cutlets?” Luka asks as you all sit down to eat. “What’s the special occasion?”

“Well, we have a new arrival to our home. This is Levi Ackerman. He’ll be renting the open room on the first floor.”

“Nice to meet you Levi,” Albert says, as he passes the mashed potatoes to Max, “I’m Albert, this here’s Max, and that’s Luka. We all work at the Silverthorn Mine up the road. Patrick there is working on the new railroad track as an overseer. He’s fancier and smarter than us,” Albert says with a laugh.

“Where are you from, Levi?” Patrick asks, taking a bit of his potatoes.

“Far away.”

“..But you’re from Marley?” Patrick continues to prod.

“You could say that.”

“And what brought you to Mursa?”

“Just looking for a change of pace and a job.” Levi dryly replies as he takes a piece of bread from the basket. The others look at each other.

“We might be able to find you a job in the mines,” Luka mentions.

“I’m not interested in working underground. I’ll check around for jobs tomorrow.”

You can tell that Levi is uncomfortable answering all these questions and note that he’s definitely the silent type. “That’s enough questions for now, guys. Give the man some time to eat.”

You quietly listen to the young men talk about the fight that almost broke out over who found a large vein of silver, and as you finish your dinner, you stand up to take your dishes to the sink and to start cleaning up the kitchen.

“Here, let me help you.” Levi says as he stands up to follow you. 

“You really don’t have to do that. It’s your first night.”

“It’s no trouble. I enjoy cleaning, actually.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that. You could learn some things, fellas.” You say with a laugh as you take the serving dishes to the kitchen.

As Levi begins to take the other dishes, Max stands up.

“You know, Catherine is an angel. One of the nicest people in this town. If you mess with her in any way, hurt her, or cheat her out of money, I’ll fuck you up. You got that?” He says as he stares Levi down. He’s much taller, and it makes him feel like he has the upper hand.

Levi looks up at him with his steely grey eye. He guesses Max is probably around 20 years old and a hothead, trying to prove something to everyone. He wouldn’t doubt if he has a bit of a crush on you as well. He reminds Levi of a mix between Eren and Jean - the worst possible combination of personalities, in his opinion. He’d love to punch this guy in the face, but that probably wouldn’t leave a good impression on his first night.

“Levi, don’t mind this asshole. He’s just messing with you,” Albert interjects as he puts his arm around Max. “Right Max?”

Max grins. “Yeah, I’m just messing around. Welcome to the house.”

Without saying a word, Levi grabs the other dishes and brings them into the kitchen. In his younger years, someone talking like that to him would have met the tip of Levi’s knife. But he knows it’s not worth it now. “I’m getting soft in my old age,” he thinks to himself.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

[boyfridged]

please do(about marvelposting)

i specifically said i was not going to do marvelposting because frankly speaking, i know very little about marvel apart from "venom" ( and whatever i remember from a ahort time when i read lots of marvel comics, in middle school. then i completely lost any interest in it.)

but! i decided i do want to talk about "spider-verse," both to criticize it a bit and on some level defend it...

the copaganda is unreal and i don't know how people can ignore it. and i don't think the flow of the narration was all that smooth and well executed. that's the 2 main issues i have with it.

now, to where i want to defend the movie, or rather what i think the *next* movie will be about (i might be wrong): utilitarianism sucks.

lots of meta repeatedly states that well, miguel is right given all we (and he) know. but i think (or maybe just hope) that the next movie will go for the most obvious criticism of the trolley problem, which "across the spider-verse" seems to mimic with the whole 2 cakes metaphor: that it doesn't exist. i think perhaps we will find out that the whole algorithm doesn't matter, or it was wrong, or it was a manipulation. and you might think it's a cliche – but i don't think it is. i think it's a good message for our times.

this is a controversial opinion both in this context and in academia, mind you, but i will die on this hill: utilitarianism does not work for ethics. there's no way of calculating a moral decision. there's no way to predict all the facts. and very rarely will you be in a situation of the trolley problem; which essentially means that taking it beyond the thought experiment takes a logic of an exception and applies it to every possible other issue, often assuming scarcity of resources and even encouraging taking life and death decisions where it could be avoided. (think of refugees or the poor, for example: a never-ending political game of assigning arbitrary numbers when talking of the cost and resources, with no genuine source for them, causing an unprecedented amount of death, and all of that assumed as the only right "reality" and a "sacrifice" for the stability.) it's the myth of scarcity, essentially, an excuse not to share the social wealth, here applied to the concept of general ontological goodness. an idea that you cannot afford to be kind because of the bigger picture.

caring about one person, the monologue of peter b. from the previous movie (or was it a cut scene? i don't remember) does not encourage miles to fuck everyone else and leave them to die. it does not promote individualism. it sets a realistic goal and it says that caring for people close to you is the best you can do at times. and there is, of course, the conflict there when you're a vigilante, since vigilantes are put in positions where they have to look at a bigger picture than a normal human would; but a fact remains that coming from a place of genuine love and devotion even to one person/your family/a small community is what sets a precedent for how you treat other people. what builds your character. it's what makes you human and anchors your moral instincts in compassion, what stops you from premature prosecution of other people, what makes you more mindful of intricate social nuance also on a larger scale. so this is what a message of "thinking of one person" is about. it's about a starting point that opens a gateway for considering more.

needless to say, if you're a utilitarian or a strict deontologist, you will not see it my way. but i'm an ethicist of care at heart and i presume this is the direction that the series will be going on. i might be wrong irt the writers' plan but if it is what i described, i believe it's a completely plausible message. morality starts somewhere and it's not algorithms.

[bearpillowmonster]

Superman - Space Age

I love the opening, it makes you ponder life and that story Jonathan tells, aw man are we in a golden age or what, this came out in 22'-23' so look out! But we move onto the history stuff with it taking place in the 60s...oh when the moon landing happened, ok, I took it as "He's going to space" but whatever. So Lois Lane interviews Jackie Kennedy after...wait, wtf.

Lex takes the role of the ongoing and coming Cold and Korean War marketer who's making weapons...He's Tony Stark, ok? Happy? And so is Bruce Wayne apparently, he outwardly markets a mass produced version of his batsuit and outs himself as Batman or the person who tested it so...uh...the two get along but are competing for the same thing. Hal Jordan is also involved. And from there we speed up and I mean really get it.

So Luthor's plan is, since he won, to use his resources to hide in a shelter, blow up segments of the U.S., blame the Soviets and a war will presume and then Luthor emerges to rebuild the country. Classicly stupid comic plan. Since Bruce lost, he kept a suit and became Batman and stopped him. The overall idea is that the world isn't going to wait for you and you may never be ready to face the world but you merely have to be present. So Wonder Woman reveals herself like at the end of Black Panther, the Hall of Justice is built and that's issue 1.

Behind the scenes though, Anti-Monitor is looking into dimensions to annihilate. Superman's has 20 years. The next issue moves things on with the incoming doom and Brainiac's now on their side but it asks a curious question about the trolley hypothesis and uses that as a base for some of its characters. Obviously Bats and Supes get the most attention out of the League and I like the conversation being dealt. This version of Batman and the conclusions he's come up with isn't my ideal version but considerable but Supes is straight up right what I want.

Issue 3. With Anti-Monitor coming, Jonathan Kent is still around for the final issue which would've been cool if they kept him to the end but they kill him of heart disease anyway, it's kind of monotonous at that point when everyone else is about to die anyway. They use that as a launching point for Supes to decide what he's going to do about it though.

Because Brainiac isn't really the bad guy anymore, he's trying to beat the Monitor too and wants Supes to join him...alone. Which in a way, his offer is feasible because if he can't do anything to save the planet anyway, does he leave everyone at the last minute to join Brainiac and stop Monitor to avenge them and prevent it from happening to anyone else again or does he die along with them. It's a tough decision and one they keep you guessing what he chooses especially with the flashes of him on another desolated Earth and then him staying in the fortress with Lois and little Jonathan in the end. They also bring up Supes leaving the League because of his departure to find a new way since he's failed doing what he's doing. Being superpowered shows that you can brute force just about anything but it doesn't work for this and it shows when he talks about the League still fighting fire with fire. Then Diana says that Supes fights darkness with light which echoes back to him refusing to pick the people on the tracks or the operator and trying to save them both.

Lex owns a shampoo company from jail which is sort of brilliant.

They cram in the Joker so Batman can have a proper end, he's a clown turned kidnapper because his daughter was lost in a fire. But I think it says something about Superman how you can just have him create a miracle drug for humans to cure all diseases and that's acceptable as a plotline because as a main point, it's not delved into too much but it's there more to show Superman's character. We know the act is pretty much impossible, I mean that's what Superman is but it's not about the destination for his stories. He makes life as bearable as possible before the end of the world. He wasn't able to save his own father but he makes sure others can save theirs. One of the thoughts I had while reading this was that "the world won't love you unless you love it." because of this-

and I just really like that theme, this was a good comic book that understood what it was doing. It kept (most) core ideals, added a bit of history in the mix to make it seem real as well as set the times with its artstyle, it didn't retread too much and had ways to variate itself from anything else. It was a bit too fast paced, choosing to sideline or hamfist things in there but that's ok, I like it for what it is, it doesn't take the reader's knowledge for granted.

I also like that even Luthor gets everything he wants but it's the end of the world so he doesn't get to revel in it, he peaks. I won't spoil the rest or what conclusion Superman came to as far as what options he was presented with.

[theprocessofthought]

Can you say you have truly lived if you have never loved?

There is a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche that says “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” As morbid as that statement sounds it has backing, without reason life tends to become very boring and mundane, it is not until you find something special in the day-to-day aspects of life that life itself becomes interesting. Things that were once lifeless and boring now become filled with memory and life. Many people associate this change with the chemical brain reactions commonly known as love. To apply a more visual description of what I mean I turn to two films, Black Orpheus and Amelie. Fair warning one is based on a Greek story and for those of you that know how those work it may not end happily. Let’s start with Amelie, it follows Amelie Poulain an only child in quite a predicament. Her father makes no physical interaction with her aside from a monthly checkup. These few interactions cause a nervousness in Amelie during the checkups which causes her father to believe she has a heart issue. As a result of this he declares her too delicate to go to school, ironic considering her mother, who ended up teaching her is worst off. Not being allowed to be a child by either of her parents her imagination adapts allowing her to cope. Fast forward she moves out and takes a job as a cafe waitress.  Life takes an unexpected turn when she finds a small box in the wall of her apartment. She decided to return it to the owner, who’s reaction to receiving the box inspires her to help out more people in her life. She hopes that the feeling she gets from helping others will fix the feeling of nothingness that she’s lived with for so long. However, one of the person’s she helps Mr. Dufayel, a brittle bone painter tells her that, the happiness she is trying to give others she should offer to herself. She attempts to do so through Nino, her love interest. This almost ends badly as some miscommunication almost causes her to give up on the pursuit. All ends well however as she allows herself to let him in, both figuratively and literally, thus beginning their relationship.

On the other side of things is Black Orpheus, a retelling of the Greek tragedy. It follows two people Eurydice, a farmgirl attempting to escape from a man she believes is trying to kill her and Orfeu, a trolley conductor and guitar player. Their paths cross as Eurydice is attempting to find her way around Rio. Orfeu is promised to someone else but falls for Eurydice, but before anything can really happen between them, death comes (the man she has been chasing her). Orfeu in his attempt to help kills her and the knowledge of her death starts to break him. It wouldn’t be a Greek story without someone heading to the underworld of course. In terms of the film that is done as an Umbanda ritual. As the voice of Eurydice rings out to him Orfeu turns around hoping to see her and realizes she’s gone. With her body in hand he approaches a cliff, Orfeu’s ‘wife’ finds them and hurls a rock at him. This causes him to fall over the cliff as he joins his beloved in death.  

[makima-s-most-smile]

Yeah, that is kinda the gist of it.

Even if Wolfwood may have regretted it in his last moment, wanting to live with his friends (maybe mirroring 98'WW's death, first acceptance, repentance towards God, but then arguing, rearing up against his death, then peace), this was his decision. And in a way it was incredibly freeing. By chosing to throw away his own life, Wolfwood was free from anything that bound him down. Because that way he could have it all, protect it all, at least try. And if he failed... There was his friend right there that came after him.

While I believe that Wolfwood acted not only from that freedom, but also to spare Vash having to kill Razlo

-> if he didn't take the double vial whammy, he could not keep on fighting.

-> If Wolfwood couldn't fight, Vash would have to step in.

-> If Vash had to step in, there was no way for Vash to reach Livio. If Livio is not reached, the trolley problem would force Vash to decide between Wolfwood (the burden, the murderer, the monster) + the orphanage's kids and Livio/Razlo.

It was freeing. By accepting his death, Wolfwood could shed all of Chapel's teachings, he could free himself from those shackles. And he could freely choose what was important to him. Because if he just did this one thing, Wolfwood reached his goal of keeping the orphanage safe. Because Vash would take on Knives later.

And afterwards Wolfwood decided to not try and live (with help from home), he decided to spare his peers watching him die ("IT HAS BEEN SIX YEARS SINCE THAT DAY", MY BEAUTIFUL LIZARD ARSE!). Vash told him he always gave up hope to soon, I don't belive that. Wolfwood hopes, when he gets means to hope. Just look at what happened on Home. And Wolfwood has hope for many things. For humanity, for the kiddos, for Vash, for the future. He only has no hope for himself, seeing himself as irredeemable.

So, Wolfwood chooses to stay and spare the kiddo's feelings. Not trying to get to Home to be somehow saved. Not hoping for another end. Because Wolfwood was a bloodied murderer that scared the shit outta the kiddos. Better to let them believe that little Nico was out there somewhere. Better to let them believe their peer didn't become this. Better to avoid being rejected by them again (them screaming upon seeing him as a walking corpse is natural, but I cannot imagine how much it must have hurt Wolfwood)

I do think Vash only got to understand how much Wolfwood was squashed between a rock and a hard place after Wolfwood's death, when Vash' connection to Wolfwood made him pull the trigger on Legato. Vash got Wolfwood's soft heart. It took loosing Wolfwood to get why Wolfwood kills.

And about Vash and autonomy. (Not getting into the assault allegory that is the whole fifth moon incident) Not only does Vash accept Wolfwood's autonomy... For me it always read that Vash kinda gave everyone else all the autonomy to act, only to react himself. Rai-Dei is a good example for that. Vash offered him his back, leaving himself open for the attack after defeating Rai-Dei. Vash left it upon Rai-Dei to act, even though Vash had the power in the situation. But he never used it. Vash next to never uses his power. He gives all the power to the other party, just evading, running away and dodging.

That behaviour goes through all of his actions. He evades connections, friendships, feelings, bullets.

So, Vash even following Wolfwood is such a major break in his pattern. But then ignoring Wolfwood's decision? Going against Wolfwood's wishes? There has to be a price for that. What would Vash be willing to pay for that transgression? If he is able to pay at all?

ok but ive been thinking about wolfwood's death and how vash bringing him back would also mean dismissing his bodily autonomy, even in death. even though he never had a say on what was done on his body when he was alive, since, like, ever????????? what if he actually came back wrong and then he died a painful death, alone? what if he died hating vash for resurrecting him even though he had (supposedly) made peace with the fact that he was going to die???

[firmamentality]

I remember the first time we met outside of school, at a public park near the Publix. It was Valentine's day and he gave me a heart shaped chocolate box full of crystals and rocks. I felt a bit bad because I didn’t have anything to give him in return, but I was so happy to finally spend time with him that it didn’t bother me too much. It wasn’t a date or anything; other friends were invited to hang out too, but I got there early and we shared a quiet moment together on that bench. It was awkward but it was everything I had wanted it to be. When the others showed up, we played on the playground like little kids, until some other people from school happened to show up without knowing we were already there. I followed them into the woods, and everyone else followed suit, except one boy named Eliot who didn’t want to: I hadn’t even realized he wasn't coming. From that day hence, Eliot resented the rest of us for leaving him behind, and by the time we got back he had already left. Anyway, it was getting late in the afternoon and we decided to split up. I went with him and another friend, four years older than him and two older than me. Along the way we chatted and joked and the two of them kissed and then I did too. That was my first kiss, and apparently it was his too, at least the first one he enjoyed. We walked barefoot to the pharmacy through half-submerged drainage pipes and bought gummy worms which we shared by eating both ends until we kissed again. By the time we got back to the park, it was getting dark and everyone else was gone so the three of us sat on a picnic blanket and talked about how nice it was to spend time together until the sun finally set and we all had to get home.

A few days later, he and I went back to the park together to have sex. Our older friend would have come too but he couldn’t make it. He snuck some condoms out of the house and brought a pair of blankets and some extra clothes. I brought a backpack too but I didn’t have much in it except a water bottle and some snacks. We snuck into the woods behind some trees until we found a nice cliff over the river where it wasn’t too muddy, and laid down a picnic blanket. As we got settled in, the dry leaves crunched around and the soft fabric was covered by grass and orange flecks that wouldn’t go away. It was my first time, and might have been his. We were so young; I really hope it was his first time. We took off some of our clothes: I stayed in my underwear and he kept his binder on. It felt a bit chilly but maybe it was just nerves. We were definitely both inexperienced and just sat there mostly naked, not knowing what to do. Eventually he pulled out a vibrator and turned it on so he could get ready. I just waited there for a bit; eventually I took my boxers off too. After struggling to put on a condom, we tried to have sex, and it was clear neither of us knew what we were doing. Eventually we just gave up and lay there together under another leaf-covered blanket, because we were chilly but didn’t want to put our clothes back on. We cuddled for a bit, and made out once or twice. At the time it felt magical, even though it was awkward and uneventful. We snacked on granola bars until he realized he had to go home before his parents realized what happened. He walked me back to the trolley stop I left from because we were too young to drive ourselves; along the way we were harassed by some jerks from his school. I tried to block it out so I wouldn’t hear his deadname, and he hugged me goodbye. I felt pretty good about the whole thing, even though it wasn’t all that special.

That was the last time we ever hung out. If he was uncomfortable, I wish he would have said something. I just felt bad once he stopped talking to me even as he told me it wasn’t my fault. It was imperfect, and I wish I could do it over. But it happened, and I still have the rocks.