#and that already screwed with my plans
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the next person that tells me what i need is to be around more people is gonna die, i literally just went outside for half an hour and i already hate people 10% more
#an old guy that was standing still staring at me and smirking i was this close to spit on him#this other guy going hi?? how you doing? and starting to have a conversation with me when i was literally sprinting to get away#why is it that only creepy guys like me? jesus a normal one. one normal one is all i'm asking#and then ofc i got honked at cause people can't even wait one fucking second#i'm one step away from snapping it's already a stressful week#will it end?#let it be monday 23#this whole day at work i was looking forward to just get back home and relax and be alone and ugly in peace but no#had to run an errand for someone#and that already screwed with my plans#i didn't even enjoy my junk food#and then i got to be around people!! :))) my favorite activity!! :)))))))))))#i'm starting to think it's me#why am i so dunb? huh? i never bother other people i try to ask for help as little as possible (also 'cause they tend to not give it to me)#but people just think they can have a say in my life and just make plans with MY time just cause i don't have kids hence i don't do shit#and they're only friends when they need something from me
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Wait, does the new chapter come out on the 31st? I thought it was on the 3rd...
#Because nineofscans and the carrd countdown both said it was coming out on the 3rd#(I'm referring to dates as for when it comes out in eu / us time)#random rambles#This............................. Sucks massively.#I already took plans with my friends to go out on the evening of the 31st.#And whereas I'd want to cancel they already booked at the restaurant and everything. It'd be endlessly rude and I can't do that#But I need to leave home at 19:30. Last month the translation came out at 18 here#If the translation is late or anything I'm screwed. That is to say even more screwed than I already am–#because one hour of after the new chapter is... nothing#I'm going to jump into a river I can't believe there's possibly gonna be the biggest ss/kk moment ever since ch 87–#and I won't be there to witness it. Atp I'm wishing for a pov change (that won't happen)#Ugh. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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MET THE BAT!! mister babygirl you are TALL
#chickenscratch#wizard101#wizzy fandom#w101#mellori w101#bat w101#the young wizard#Galathea (Eurydice)#the bat#mellori#cant believe our first conversation was him yelling at me for screwing over his plans#man he is like at least 2 Young Wizards tall.... maybe even 3....#mellori is like... even Smaller than the YW too... teeny tiny#he has to drag his feet so he wouldn't outpace me as my companion lol#king just lift me into your arms and carry me. it would be faster#i would not mind. matter of fact my arms are already wide open
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one death and Im out, one
#screw grammer i bite#grian#limited life smp#mcyt#trafficblr#i guess#this was not what i was planning on positing at aaaallll#but i just got so absirbed by drawing bad hands that i just kinda you know anyhow#anyhooowww what a season am i right!!!#oh i wanted bigb to win so bad you dont understand but oh well gratx to martyn im sure there is already angst#!!#also ye si kow it did not at all happen like this but if everybody else can make everhing angsty so can i#anyhow!!!#we are lisenting to sound of violence by other lives#because duh#uhm otherwise well uuuh oh yeah htis is totally a hint to another waaay older peice i made for pearl#so if anyone remebrs that well uh yeah#my art
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Is it still Wednesday? No, you say? Well, time is an illusion so you're probably wrong about that. Thanks for the tag, @piratefalls! I had this idea because of a tumblr post I stumbled across again in my likes... I dunno an hour or two ago? And now here we are, lol.
Derek hadn’t expected he would hear from Stiles again, possibly ever, but certainly not until he was back within the borders of Beacon Hills when he pulled out the rock. Derek blinked it. The rock’s eyes rolled back at him. Ignoring the hand with the rock in it for the moment, he diverted his attention back to the box. It was a perfectly ordinary and small, square box. Derek’s address and Stiles’ return one at his dorm room the only things scrawled on the outside. And it appeared to contain nothing but bubble wrap and a rock. A rock with googly eyes on it. It wasn’t quite smooth, peaked but rounded almost precisely in the center of its top, and squat. Perfectly gray, perfectly bland, with a flat bottom to it. The eyes were placed with care more towards the hilly top and right under where the sides started their downslopes. Meaning they almost looked like brows depending on the angle Derek held the rock at. He glanced at his phone but flatly refused to ask. That had to be what Stiles wanted with this and Derek was hardly going to give him that. He thought about crushing the box and throwing the rock away. Instead he carefully pulled the tape apart, breaking the box down for his recycling. Which is when he found the little piece of notebook paper that had slid under the flap. In that same scrawl were the words: It needs a home and a name. - Derek, despite all his better judgment, didn’t throw the rock away but he did leave it on top of his microwave and forget about it (after letting it bother him for far too long). That should be the end of that particular saga - he’d managed to dismiss it as a prank that went over his head, probably some social media, not-quite-his-generation fad that he would never get no matter how hard he tried - except. Except that not-quite a month later he got another similarly-sized box. And if Stiles had sent him another rock, he was throwing them both away after crushing them into powder. He opened the top, parted the bubble wrap with a sigh, only to find very much not a rock. It was a miniature armchair. The detail was exquisite and the upholstery on it felt real, that scratchy but nostalgic quality that reminded him of going to his grandparents’ house. The wood of the legs and arms was finely honed and the arms even had upholstered tops. The color was a deep maroon and embroidered in the back of it in gold were a few stalks of wheat contained in an oval shape. The strangest thing about it, aside from everything, was how wide the seat was. The proportions really didn’t seem to— “Oh you have got to be fucking…” Derek trailed off, practically stomping over to the other side of the kitchen. He snatched up the rock and plonked it down in the chair, eyes rattling about but facing forward. It was a perfect fit.
Tagging..... I dunno, other people who spit in the face of 'Wednesday' and all its cohorts? I don't really know who fits that description but, if that's you, you've been summoned.
#now i have to at least dialogue skeleton this to the end because i figured out all of it during my shower#and i WILL forget what i thought of#also don't ask wtf is up with the past tense because i have NO IDEA#and i kept slipping out of it too so who knows if that's gonna make it past the draft stage#(probably not - i'm already getting annoyed with how much fixing i have to do when i lose it for a sentence)#stiles has a MOTHERFUCKING PLAN here - like i thought haha how random googly-eyed rock silliness#and stiles was like: nuh uh sis i've been planning this shit for a year - do not screw it up for me#i'm doing my best sir!!#sterek#teen wolf#wip wednesday#eternalsterek#1000+ words in like an hour and a half is that good shit though you guys
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literally got SO worked up about the idea of a wildlife biology internship IN my state that i fucking forgot i’m getting top surgery
#was literally over here trying to decide whether or not i could justify COMPLETELY screwing over my coworkers#literal heel turn of the century to go and band some turkeys#and then i remembered.#i am. having surgery.#i will not be able to move for like a week#this is NOT the summer for banding turkeys#but perhaps next summer!#because it pays better than my fuckin job lol#and it’s WAY more relevant to my desired career path#this was already my plan but it’s exciting to know i’ll likely have more options than i thought!#bc this is the first year they’re doing this so next year should be even more robust hopefully#and then i’ll have the experience i need to 1) apply for grad school and 2) get the Florida job i want in 2026#long term plans babey! gotta love em!
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Either ducks on steroids or AI will take over the world in a few years.
#Ducks#Ai#our world is screwed#Pigeons and emus definitely are already planning to take over the world#The emus want to have another war#Penguins also are probably forming their own country then building up an army to take over the world#No I am not okay don’t ask#my brain is weird#okay!
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Mad at my professor again lmao
#not snz#literally wanna beat the shit out of her#i could be so violent if even an ounce of my being was confrontational lmao#anyway she emailed me again#like girl fucking stop it first of all#like we have nothing to say to each other#and it wasn't even about the program per se#like it was just her saying shit like i have too much potential to waste in ems#we've had this conversation several times it never fucking goes anywhere#she says I'm 'too smart' to be an emt or a firefighter#that i should go to medical school instead of trying to go any further with fire and ems#like I'm sorry you don't even fucking know me#the only reason i was any good at emt school is bc i trained for that for a decade#it would've been so fucking pathetic to have done bad when i went in with 90% of the material down cold#like i genuinely am not smart#i know a little bit about specific things and that's it#nothing that actually matters or makes for someone smart enough to go to fucking medical school#like I'm a terrible student lmao i like so few things and I'm decent at even less#I'd be shitty at being a firefighter if i had to use my brain constantly for absolutely everything#i can do most of that work on autopilot#like this bitch is really acting like she knows me and that she's being so helpful trying to push me away from my career path#like miss girl you are doing me zero favors and i have no backup plan other than this so if it doesn't work out I'm screwed lmao#my mental health already sucks like she's really out here trying to kill me faster lmao#anyway#i can be normal now#I'm going hiking tomorrow and we're planning at least ten miles so that'll fix me
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Heyyy just read through CETBWA and loved it all over again! No rush but any word on when there might be a chapter 21? 👀
hey!! thanks, i'm very glad you enjoyed it and continue to enjoy it, that makes me really happy ☺️
chap 21 is happening, just very slowly. i'm trying to focus on getting a fic out for the @/dpxdcbigbang before i get back into cetbwa properly, but i've been dabbling here and there. honestly probably won't happen until september tho lol sorry
#idk we might get it in august#i should have the month of july to work on it and it's already halfway done so maybe#idk we'll see#it might not happen - the big black dog has bit me hard and i have the biggest case of the morbs#i'm only still writing because of the lovely extension for the bang fic otherwise i would be screwed#we'll see we'll see idk#cetbwa#feel so guilty everytime i get an 'update? soon please now?' comment and like.... fuck#i'm so tired haha#it's happening i promise#i just need some time to screw my head on straight and get back in the groove#i have plans for the rest of the fic so it's definitely not abandoned - not many chapters left ahhh!!!!#scary thoughts#that might be another reason why it's taking a bit longer... i want to do the ending justice#but that's at least four or five chapters down the line#there's time... there's time#thank you for the ask and again i'm really glad you're enjoying it still#really did uplift me#thank you#did also cry a bit after getting this but that's just me rn lol#thanks again#i'm gonna try and write ig haha
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up way too early today...ate way too much at the diner...don't know what i'm supposed to do with myself ALL DAY
finished a little art project thing that the library is hosting and it's UGLY AF so now i have that hanging over me. didn't even make good use of the day, just made ugly art after eating too many potatoes
#dot txt#i hate sitting around reading or being on here because then i get tired#but then that's what i do anyway#and i can't go to the gym because i ate too much#and i screwed up running at the gym yesterday anyway i started getting way too dehydrated#and my friend was maybe gonna come over but our plan was to sit outside and order food#but it's TOO HOT and I ATE TOO MANY POTATOES ALREADY#i'm so salty today
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☔️
#having a family has never been anything but a burden for me sadly#i always feel like a burden who drags my family down#but truth is i dont bother them. i only let things affect me and myself#i never do anything that affect my family#this is harsh but i have to vent....#because of things and my mom not making it work#she'll be completely without money for july and august#that is really bad bc we are already poor#and without her income we're basically screwed#i feel frustrated bc i do mine. i do what i need to do#they've always been mad at me for being a failure and a fuck up but i've always made sure i do what i have to to get my income#but my mom didnt plan well enough and here we are#i know i shouldnt be angry but i just feel so angry#i've done what i can do as to NOT stress about money#but she didnt and now it'll spill over me and affect me#im so fucking stressed omg sskkskskskksksks#will we be able to make rent?#it's just so frustrating#for every little thing that happens i realize more and more that for me#family will never be anything other than a burden i dont want or need#if im on my own i take care of my shit and that's that#i wont have three other ppl dragging me down and fucking things up#jesus christ... thanks mom#why didnt she plan better to avoid this? i dont understand ppl#im so meticilous with having plan 1 b c d e etc etc#i know things go bad and i want to be sympathetic with her#but the situation she's put us in.... i cant be anything but angry rn
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Holy Jere I almost got a heartattack (figure of speech) 😱
So you all heard me getting approved for hrt yesterday?
Well, I was told that I now would have two appointments to look forward to one being with a nurse and one with a doctor. Both would be send to me asap.
Having been in this game for almost a year now I have gotten used to things taking at least a week so seeing both appointment arriving today was a surprise - the first is already next wednesday aka tavastia 2.0 day aka september 20
Here's the catch: it is the appointment with the nurse so I have to have my blood tested first. Yet trying to book an appointment myself turned out to be litterally impossible since everywhere I went the first available time was in october
I saw my whole plan go down the drain in this moment so I called up the gender clinic to hopefully get a new nurse appointment. Well fools on me since the nurse could book me a blood test tomorrow 🤣😅
Here's the important dates then;
September 13 - blood test at 11.10 am
September 20 - nurse appointment at 12.30 PM
November 22 - doctor appointment at 10 am
#dont ask me what the gif has to do with it xD#i guess it is me giving the nurse a rose for helping this confused transmasc person out 😅#i am actually okay with all these appointments#sure the ones in september are very cramped into days i am already busy but at least they will be over soon as well#and not having an appointment in october that risked screwing with my käärijä eu tour plans are so nice#there is long till november but i will take it#hrt#medical transition#personal#micahs thoughts
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and tales of vesperia oops thank you and sorry xio
#getting into pokémon really screwed with that plan#cuz now that i’m already obsessed with a franchise that is very big? my brain is going to lead me to play more pokémon next#but like. i already bought vesperia. sunk cost fallacy i know but also i’ve been meaning to play it for like 5 years now lol#peach rambles
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#JUST POST THE CLASS ALREADY!!!!!!! AGH#ergh. i’m TravelingTM this week and by my terrible luck. the day we fly is the day one of my summer classes technically ‘starts’#BUT the prof hasn’t posted the course yet. both my classes are fully async but the other posted early so i have a plan and i have NO PLAN#for this one and it’s STRESSING ME OUT#been running around packing all day your girl is not made for traveling. stress x one million#if i had the guts i’d email her but im STRESSEDDDDD#i’m SO worried she’ll wait til literal the day off and screw me over bc i won’t have time to print the stuff i need
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oh god. i keep forgetting that certain things are only obvious to me becos IM the one that wrote it. and now people are Expecting things
#ive already screwed up one part cos i didnt realise how big a jump my intention was#but this is . more dire LMAO#in my head its obvious that the next chapter leads on to basically just a conversation and doesnt resolve anything plot wise#no one else knows that!!!!!! ive taken a moment to imagine what they COULD be expecting and this is not that#nothing happens!!!!! ive not finished the chapter in 3 months and NOTHING HAPPENS IVE MADE A MISTAKE#AND THATS THE END BTW LMAO. i never intended it to go further than that#oh ive Outlined it. but never planned to write it#hwhouhhhgh.
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wanted to write and update my fic today but therapy screwed me over so none of that happened. tomorrow i guess.
#alex yells at the void#seeing her again on wednesday and god i love that woman but i hate my brain sometimes#dissociative disorders suck give me my memories back#but also dont cause theres trauma there#obligatory pre bed tumblr post tag vent#have like plans for tomorrow but lets see how much of that ill remember#quetiapine is kicking my ass rn but i still sleep horribly and nothing i can do about it#therapist cant do anything either and she tries#just. argh.#already saw her four times in the last two weeks but also just#i wish i could see her every day but also not cause therapy every day is exhausting#but my life is also screwed up in ten different ways so#ten like. underestimation of the century#i hate my mom is a new one tho
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