#and thankfully the part where the person it's about is fine now is also me.

[thelastspeecher]

I've long said that my The Mountain Goats song, the one that speaks to me and my lived experiences to such a deep level I can feel it in my DNA, is "Up the Wolves", but I think I need to add a second one. It's a live-only song that hasn't been released, but you can find recordings of it on YouTube.

Anyways go listen to "You Were Cool" by The Mountain Goats.

[angel-of-the-moons]

Chocolates vs Aliens

Eddie/Venom x Pregnant!Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Fluff, details of pregnancy , childbirth mentions. Venom loves babies! This! Is! A hill! I will die on!

A/N: The winners of the poll! I'll do the Moon Boys next! Also okay its not a drabble but enjoy this hot word vomit asdfghjkl idk should I make a part 2??

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"SHE IS OUT OF CHOCOLATE?!" Venom's voice boomed inside his head.

"Relax, buddy, we can hit up the 7/11 down the street." Eddie scoffed, adjusting his wireless earbud. Thankfully it looked like he was on the phone, so he could talk freely to Venom without anyone thinking he was insane.

And well, he kind of was, a tiny bit.

Just a tad...

"BUT I CAN SMELL IT!" The symbiote whined childishly as Eddie scooped the frozen egg rolls into the wiry basket looped over his arms.

"Yeah yeah, I know. Mrs Chen could have eaten the last one, Vee. Just chill. How about some chocolate ice cream?" Eddie grinned at the pun.

"No! We always get brain freezes!" He entity huffed.

"Because you scarf down the whole tub in one go." Eddie chuckled.

Venom grumbled again, and a tendril snaked out from beneath Eddie's sweater and dropped a box of brownie mix into the basket. "Fine. I can settle with these."

"Whatever you say, love, but you're helping me bake the shit." The man shrugged in reply as he remembered to grab a carton of milk. He'd need some eggs, too... Well, at least his landlord let him move the chicken coop to the roof in exchange for some free eggs.

Those chickens were fat and spoiled, and Venom loved the little critters dearly, which Eddie always found humorous. Now, whenever Eddie made the joke of turning them into KFC, Venom would be aghast and headbutt him, citing that Sonny and Cher were his "babies".

He'd been talking like that a lot lately, Eddie realized. Venom apparently had a paternal streak in him. Eddie noticed that as well when Venom would find homeless kids or runaways, helping them and trying to seem as non-threatening as possible, even going as far as to change his fangs so they were blunt. (One of the kids assured him that was far creepier than the monster fangs, which made Eddie nearly keel over in laughter...)

"Deal." Venom purred happily, the tendril receding back to slip beneath Eddie's shirt and wrap around him like a hug.

"Alright, alright." Eddie chuckled, grabbing an extra box just in case as he walked around the shelves, sparing a glance at his phone to check the time.

"Eddie." Venom's voice said.

"What?" Eddie lifted his gaze, feeling Venom's haste flood him and put him on alert.

His eyes trailed the store until he landed on the checkout counter, where you were sitting. Not Mrs Chen, but cute, innocent, blissful you.

You were happily munching on a chocolate bar, one of the very ones Venom wanted. It would seem you had claimed it, eating the sugary morsel happily.

"Oh." Eddie mumbled.

He felt it as Venom seized control of his legs suddenly, sending him forward in jerking motions until he practically ran into the counter, making you jump in surprise.

"Oh! Sorry!" He smiled awkwardly, a faint blush to his cheeks.

'Venom, quit it! I'll get you chocolate later!' He said mentally to the alien inhabiting his body.

"No, Eddie. Wait."

"I, ah... Got a bit sidetracked and tripped over my feet." He added.

You smiled at him, "Oh, god. Yeah, I feel you. Lately it's like dragging my heels through wet cement." You chuckled.

Huh. You were... God, you were cute. He could tell even Venom thought so. With your cute fluffy turtleneck and your hair all done, your cheeks nice and rosy from the blush you'd applied.

Which... brought up the question.

"I've never seen you 'round here before." Eddie commented. "Mrs Chen is usually the only person I see in here..."

"Oh! I'm new in town, I live just down and street and she saw my situation and offered me a part-time here. I have a work from home job and everything, but ugh, just staying cooped up inside is so boring!" You say the last part with a groan.

"Damn, would've been nice if she offered me that job a couple years ago." Eddie chuckled.

You giggled a bit at him and looked at his basket, "Is that all for ya, hon?"

"Oh, yeah!" Eddie said, carefully organizing the things onto the glass counter. His eyes flicked to the candy bar you were still steadily breaking pieces off of.

"Bit of a sweet tooth, huh?" He teased.

"Ugh, god... lately? Yes! The craving for it has been absolute hell." You sigh exhaustedly. "Almost everything in my apartment is chocolate flavored or scented now!"

"... Cravings?" Eddie echoed, raising a thick brow.

"Okay, I know what you're thinking and no. It's not "that time of the month" like your brain is probably saying." You snort.

Eddie watches as your hand trails down to your midsection and you pat your belly beneath the plush fabric of your sweater, where a gentle swell stood out a bit more prominently as you smooth the fabric taut over your stomach.

"I just have a certain little jellybean who thinks they can dictate what mama wants to eat all the time. And apparently, chocolate is what's on the menu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And... in between." You chuckle.

"OH." Eddie and Venom thought in unison.

"That's why she smells like that!" Venom barked, realizing the underlying scent of chocolate on you was laced with something else. Hormones. He was picking up on those, too.

"Oh! Uh, congrats!" Eddie said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I'm sure you and your, uh, partner are probably super happy, huh?"

"Oh, no, it's just me." You smiled with a hum, taking another little sweet square between your lips.

Eddie's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Okay, so I'm not gonna be rude, but I will explain." You snicker. You seemed infinitely patient and polite about the subject. Apparently this very thing must be a common occurrence with you, that random people must constantly ask this same question, and how tiring it surely must be to answer it again and again...

"No, I don't have a partner, husband, or anything. No daddy."

Eddie awkwardly pointed to your belly. "Then how did y'know... that get in there?"

Eddie controlled the flinch he wanted to make when Venom pinched him. "You did NOT just call her baby a THAT!"

"Yeah, yeah I know. But there's something everyone forgets, and that it doesn't always "take two to tango"." You smile at him again, ringing up his items with one hand, chocolate still clutched firmly in another.

"I decided that I wanted to be a mom. But I didn't want to just go out and get pregnant willy nilly. I have a good job, steady income. But I don't have time to date and there's always the concern that I'd be left a single parent if whoever I was with decided parenthood wasn't for them, y'know?"

Eddie nodded patiently as he and Venom listened to you with rapt attention.

"I went to a fertility clinic, did what the doctor said, then had my egg fertilized with a sperm donor. And then boom," You point to your belly. "Jellybean."

"Oh, that... Yeah okay I forget fertility clinics are a thing." Eddie laughed, shaking his head.

"Well I'm glad you're so open-minded about it!" You grin. "Most people judge me and go "oh your baby needs a father!" and the ever so classic "you don't even know who the father is?" line."

Eddie frowned, and he could tell even Venom was irritated on your behalf. "You don't need to have a partner or spouse to raise a baby. Seriously. What is this, the 1940s?"

"I knoooow!" You giggle again. "And besides! I can support me and my baby just fine, and I'm already happy and so far the pregnancy has been a breeze!"

Eddie could feel a tugging sensation from Venom. The symbiote was curious, and wanted to touch. But Eddie knew that was not only rude as hell, but to some people, socially unacceptable if you don't know the person or ask permission first.

"How uh, far along are you?"

"I just hit my second trimester." You chirp proudly, patting your belly. "The baby's tiny, but I'm finally showing, now."

"Ohhh." Eddie snapped his fingers. "Hence "jellybean", right?"

"Yes!" You laugh.

Eddie pulled out his card and swiped it to pay for the groceries. "It's a cute nickname. Have you thought of any names yet?"

Your brain did a record scratch, and Eddie could see the look on your face.

Nope. Not at all.

You hadn't thought of a damn one. Especially because you didn't know the sex of your baby yet.

"Uh...."

Eddie started snickering at your expression, "Ahhh. My bad." He shoots you a cocky grin, "If I can recommend a name, Eddie is a pretty strong one!"

"Weak." Venom mocked.

"Eddie?" You echo, blinking.

"Oh, don't listen to him, girl." Mrs Chen snorted as she walked up to you two, whacking Eddie with a rolled up newspaper. "This boy is nothing but trouble!"

Her words were jabbing, but not spoken without affection, so you could tell they had a history together.

"Ow! Hey!" Eddie pouted, rubbing the top of his head.

"Oh please, I'd need to shoot this out of a cannon to dent that hard head of yours!" She huffed with a smirk, crossing her arms.

She tilted her head and noticed the candy bar in your hand, and made the mental connection with Eddie and Venom. Riiiiiight. Venom needed chocolate. Mrs Chen tossed it to you when you started scrolling through your phone for door dash orders for chocolate cakes from local restaurants to sate your cravings.

"Oh, right. Sorry about your chocolate fix." Mrs Chen replied, her gum smacking softly. "Gave the lady one to help ease her stomach."

The flush to your cheeks made Eddie smile as you looked at the candy in your hand. "I'm sorry!" You sputtered.

"Hey, man, you got a baby in you. You can't exactly tell the little, uh.... eh. The little person they can't have it?" Eddie struggled. He wasn't sure how the whole cravings thing worked, honestly. Would you indeed cry if he didn't accept your offer? Would your baby get hungry? Was that a thing? He knew jack and shit about babies in general, man.

"Pff, moron."

'Parasite.'

"I AM NOT A PARASITE!"

"Oh, I know but uh..." You say, your eyelashes fluttering as you think, looking from Eddie to the bar in your hand. You decided to finish breaking off the pieces you were working on, and extend your hand giving the rest to Eddie. "Here! I'm good, if I need more I can nab some from the gas station down the street."

"Oh! Uh... I don't wanna, y'know. Take anything from you and your baby." Eddie said, waving his hands.

"Eddie, if you refuse to take it, she could cry." Mrs Chen teased. "You don't want to make a pregnant woman cry do you?"

Eddie's face was hilarious as panic started to bubble up within him as he looked from you, to your outstretched hand, to Mrs Chen, who stood as proud as can be at the chaos she had just sewn.

"Hey! I'm not that hormonal!" You retort to the older lady. But... you deflate a tiny bit. "...Okay, well not yet but still!"

Eddie was still going through the moral dilemma of accepting the kind gesture vs taking candy from a literal baby in somebody's womb.

Venom made the choice for him, extending our Eddie's hand and letting him take it.

"I, uh... Thanks." Eddie blabbered quickly.

"Now let's go home before you make an idiot out of us further." Venom cackled gleefully at the socially awkward situation.

Eddie grabbed the plastic bags and gave an awkward wave and a smile before skittering out of the store with his tail between his legs.

"Geez, he needs to get laid once in a while." Mrs Chen scoffed, going over to check inventory.

You barely had a moment to collect yourself, stopping before you laughed so hard you peed yourself.

That was the first time you and Eddie ever met. It would not be the last.

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Eddie shopped at Mrs Chen's place pretty regularly, her prices were easy on the wallet and she was close by to he and Venom's apartment.

You steadily built up a rapport with Eddie over the next two or three weeks. Venom was inexplicably drawn to you, wanting to constantly convince Eddie to touch your belly.

Eddie kept reminding him that it was frankly rude as shit to do that, and that hell, it would probably make you uncomfortable.

Not long after that, Eddie and Venom discovered--to Venom's utter glee--thay you lived in the same building, the apartment just above his. They found this out when Venom insisted on making sure you made it home after your shift at Mrs Chen's ended, knowing how vulnerable a pregnant lady looked to crooks and criminals.

Twice Venom caught and ate the brains of lowlifes who tried stalking you.

Venom, despite you not knowing of his existence, was fiercely protective of you. And... well he liked you. They liked you.

Eddie hated how quickly both he and Venom became infatuated with you, listening to you talk about your baby, your cravings... They could tell you were lonely despite your cheerful demeanor. Yes, Eddie and Venom had each other already, but they quickly thought about adding you to the mix.

But again, you didn't know about the alien slime monster living inside of Eddie. That subject would have to definitely wait...

He would check on you, leaning his head out his window on occasion to talk to you as you looked up, it brightened up the monotony of your at-home life in between work, asking about how you were feeling as your pregnancy developed. He even texted you lists of different baby names and their meanings to help you out!

When he first asked you out, you were floored. You've never met a man who was interested in a woman pregnant with somebody else's baby, before. You've heard about it sure, but... You were more surprised anyone was interested in you while pregnant with some guy's baby. Let alone your cute downstairs neighbor who apparently babied his pet chickens that were kept on the rooftop.

He even introduced you to them! You didn't hold them of course, for fear of bacteria, and chuckled as he furiously disinfected himself before even coming within three feet of you, all for you and your baby's health.

A man who was sweet, considerate, caring and he loves animals? Add the looks to that bill and that was a difference you were willing to pay. How was he still single?!

But... Well. That changed after your first date, and he was glad you accepted it all.

And it wasn't long after that (several weeks actually) you discovered he wasn't, in fact, single. He didn't have a girlfriend or anything but he certainly had a partner.

Said partner... was some kind of ooze-critter that lived inside of him. And you only found this out when you came home from a late night convenience store run for some triple chocolate chunk ice cream, walked into your apartment...

And saw him.

Venom, in his hulking form, stood awkwardly in your apartment, looking like a deer trapped in headlights when you flicked your lights back on, the ice cream in your bag forgotten.

As your door slowly swung closed due to angled flooring, you opened your mouth to scream.

Venom cut you off, his massive hands shooting up and he waved them, "DON'T SCREAM!"

You snapped your mouth shut, your teeth making an audible click as your heart hammered in your chest.

"We were worried! You weren't responding to our texts or when we knocked on your door?" His deep and rumbly voice growled out.

You shudder at the timbre of his voice, eyes never once leaving the rows of jagged fangs in his maw. You drop your plastic bag and step back, covering your belly--now very prominent as you were later in your term--protectively.

That seems to... upset him? He frowned, looking at the carpet as he lowered his hands, his large eyes narrowing as he carefully thought, trying to think of ways to alleviate the fear bubbling through you.

He took a slow step towards you, like you were a frightened animal caught in a trap that he had to be gentle with, lest you struggle or flail and get hurt.

"We were worried about you. We--" His head snapped to his left and he snarled. "Yes! "We"! You were worried, too! Don't try to say you weren't!"

You watch, in shock as he has essentially a one-sided argument with himself, getting exasperated, saying the word "love" and "dear" here and there.

You stayed, scared, until the ugly sensation of your nausea reared its ugly head and you dropped the plastic bag, literally shoving past this gigantic creature in a mad dash to your bathroom or you were gonna blow chunks right then and there.

You didn't even shut the door before you collapsed to your knees, hugging the bowl as you heaved the contents of your digestive system into the pearly white porcelain, leaving what could only be the Venom, the creature that supposedly stalked your city eating people, in your living room.

By the end of the nausea fit, your eyes were watery, your nose was runny and your face blotched with color, the whites of your eyes glassy from the strain. You felt lightheaded and dizzy as you rinsed your mouth with water right from the tap, gargling and spitting until the foul acidic taste went away.

You felt your now empty stomach growl and your first instinct was to go get food and eat again, to replenish the energy you just spent hurling everything you ate that day.

But then you remembered...

The big guy.

You didn't have any sort of object to wield as a weapon, so you merely sheepishly peeked around the corner, watching as the creature called Venom gingerly moved about your kitchen, things that looked like tentacles reaching out and grabbing a cup, some ice, and a can of ginger ale from your fridge and pour it into the cup; all the while making a sandwich. Nutella with your banana/mango spread. A favorite you'd started to enjoy in the past week.

But the only person you ever told that to was...

You froze when he turned around, locking eyes with you as he set the food on your breakfast island, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"We... We know that you're probably hungry after... So we figured..." He said, gesturing vaguely to the food and drink in front of him.

"How do you know..." You breathed.

His colossal shoulders heave as he sighed, walking around the island and over to you, stopping just a mere few feet away.

"Promise not to be mad? Or scream?"

You weren't sure why in the hell he asked you that, but you felt already too far gone into shock to really argue. Plus, throwing up took all urges to scream from your poor sore throat.

So, you nodded.

"Okay."

You watched as the strange black goo peels back layer by slinking layer, until a man is revealed beneath.

But it's not just any man.

It's fucking Eddie. Your neighbor-turned-recent-boyfriend.

"You--!"

"We can explain! Just please, please don't be mad at us!" Eddie winced.

You felt another dizzy spell start to hit at this revelation. "How long--"

"A few years. Look, we planned on telling you. It's just... not tonight. When you didn't answer my texts or calls, I got worried and..." He sighed.

You watched as Venom's head moved out from behind Eddie's shoulder to peer at you, the thick black goo that made up the appendage holding his head up moving almost like water. He offered you a smile, and part of you wished that'd solve the tension in the air, to assuage your increasing confusion. But sadly, it didn't.

"Vee didn't want to fucking wait an extra ten minutes when you didn't answer the door and climbed through your window, which you should start locking I mean I know we're on the upper floors with no balcony or fire escape, but it's still a safety concern and with the baby--"

You interrupted Eddie's rambling. "Vee?" You echo.

"Uh--okay. That's what I call Venom when he isn't being an incorrigible shithead. Or a parasite who takes control of my body." Eddie sighed.

You almost laughed when Venom headbutted him in the side of his head.

"Stop calling me that! It's rude!" Venom snarled.

"No, what's rude is breaking into somebody's apartment!" Eddie retorted, jabbing a finger at Venom. "We talked about this!"

"You were worried, too!"

"Yes but I wasn't going to crawl through her goddamn window!"

Your eyes darted from one to the other as they started bickering like a... like a... Oh.

Yeah. It was after a two hour long conversation that Eddie told you everything. About his ex, the Life Foundation, finding Venom, fighting Riot, then the whole thing with Carnage, Venom's offspring... and of course, their actual relationship with one another, now. They argued like a married couple because they basically were one, complete with... well. You weren't ready in the current situation to imagine how the bedroom situation worked between them, yet.

You took it better than he expected. Way better.

"Honestly.... The only thing scarier than Venom is childbirth." You said, sitting next to him on the couch, your hands on your belly.

"...Eddie." you said slowly.

"Uh--yeah? What's up, sweetheart?" He asked awkwardly, Venom's eyes immediately drawn down to where your hands caressed the bump beneath your thin t shirt.

"How come you haven't asked to touch my belly yet? I'm... surprised. I've had random people come up to me and ask, but not... you."

"Wait... uh. So. You're giving... Permission?" Eddie asked, blinking his big, ridiculously lashed eyes at you.

"Well, yeah, and--"

"FINALLY!" Venom hissed.

In a black blur, Venom lurched forward over Eddie's shoulder, straight for your tummy. He pressed the side of his head against your belly, tendrils of his strange slime-like flesh wrapping around your midsection; listening to the baby's heartbeat and feeling for any movements.

Eddie meanwhile, looked equal parts horrified and embarrassed as he facepalmed, blushing all the way to his ears. "That's why. He's been fucking obsessed with you and your baby since he first realized you were pregnant."

You looked down as the symbiote cuddled you, and by extension, your baby, your jaw agape at how he was purring while he nuzzled into you.

"...That's why you're always so concerned about me?" You asked dumbly, blinking over at Eddie, who gave you an awkward smile and shrug in reply.

"Yeah, hate to break it to you, doll, but... Vee has kinda... claimed you two." He said.

"Claimed me." You repeated.

"Yeah. He has this thing... with kids?" He rolled his hand to try and think of words to describe it. "He's overprotective. He's the same with Sonny and Cher, it's just... he doesn't interact with many pregnant people so when he met you, that weird little drive kicked in. The fact that we both started feeling something for you outside of that kinda blindsided us, but..."

"So what?" Venom scoffed, resting his chin on the curve of your belly, looking up at you with a grin. "This is our baby now, and we will protect the both of you."

"Venom!" Eddie snapped.

"You claimed us?" You were having a difficult time wrapping your head around this. All of it. The whole situation in general. First your boyfriend has a boyfriend who technically isn't a boy but identifies as one because gender was a foreign concept to his species, they were together before they met you, Venom is a literal alien--

And now... was he saying...

"L-Look, I know it's early on and we haven't been dating long, but..." Eddie rubbed his sweaty palms on his faded-out jeans.

"Are you two saying... that you want to be with me? Rest of the pregnancy, birth, and all?"

The hell was your life, some kind of weird, cheap, sci-fi romance novel? The dashing, handsome alien(s) swoop in and offer to help raise your baby? What kind of parallel world were you in?

Eddie was quiet, and Venom merely stared at him, before looking back at you.

"Yes." He said. "Eddie is too much of a pussy to say it, but he likes the idea of taking care of a tiny you."

"Venom! Fuck! Stop calling me that!" Eddie snapped at the symbiote as he protectively snuggled your tummy.

Venom merely stuck his tongue out at him, "I will when you stop calling me a parasite!" He looked back up at you, giving you the best rendition he could of a hurt puppy. "Do you see how he talks to me? Despicable!"

You snorted a short laugh before you could stop yourself, and covered your mouth.

"Hah! See? She thinks I'm funny! So shut it!"

"Oh, my god, that does not count--"

"Yes it does I already won." Venom said contentedly.

"Look!" Eddie groans. "Just... We are willing to be with you. Take care of you, and help with the baby. If... you'll have us. I know this whole situation is weird, but..." Eddie trails off, looking at you hopefully.

The decision wasn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. Eddie and Venom haven't given you a reason to be afraid--other than scaring the shit out of you earlier because Venom apparently has fucking anxiety--and, well... They were so sweet, and gentle... And if Venom doting on your unborn baby currently was any indication, the affection would probably increase a hundred fold after your little bundle of joy arrived.

"Okay." You said.

All the tension seemed to drain from Eddie's body and he sighed, a relieved smile blooming on his face as he looked at you with a look in his eyes that had your heart doing a little flip in your chest.

"Thank God..." Eddie sighed happily.

Venom grinned widely at you, before shooting back to Eddie and seizing the body again, his inky black mass covering Eddie entirely.

Your couch creaked under the added weight of Venom's increased mass as he leaned over, dwarfing your whole body as he wrapped his thick, tree-trunk arms around your tinier body, nuzzling into your cheek before giving you a kiss. Thankfully no tongue, because you thought you'd probably choke if he did that.

When he pulled back, your face was flush at the boldness of his actions, and looked up at him as his opalescent eyes narrowed sweetly down at you.

But something Venom said clicked into your brain, finally, once it rebooted from the kiss.

"Venom, you said you two wouldn't mind helping raise a tiny me." You began. "But I don't know if I'm having a boy or girl, yet."

"Oh, we can." Venom grinned. "I could tell when I was holding onto you. It was easy."

"What?!" You sputter.

"You're having a little girl, by the way."

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You booked an appointment two weeks later. And damn, Venom was right. You were having a girl! At least the naming situation was easier, now that you narrowed down the sex.

Many people said you and Eddie were moving fast, but you ignored them because they didn't know the real situation. Your apartment was bigger, two rooms, one for you (and now Eddie and Venom) and the other was the nursery for the baby.

Eddie was affectionate, but Venom was downright clingy. He was almost always wrapped around your belly in some way or another, purring as he used his weird slimy body to massage you. He helped with your back strain surprisingly, how he would massage you. Eddie proposed maybe letting Venom bond with you for the remainder of the pregnancy to ensure safety and good health, but Venom shot the idea down himself.

He explained it like it was a bit like an organ donor match, if you weren't a match for him you could get sick, or God forbid both you and the baby could die. And to Eddie's surprise Venom made the nature decision to settle for massaging your back and tummy to ease the strain.

Venom jumped at the chance to rub your coconut oil into your belly to help ease the risk and appearance of stretch marks, too.

Through the mood swings, crazy cravings and nesting phases and all, you two boyfriends stayed with you through all of it. Several times you woke up to Venom and Eddie cooking in the kitchen, making sure you had a decent breakfast in the morning.

The only problem was... well. They cooked like broke college boys. So, you spent time giving them cooking lessons, which was one of the funnest things you'd done in a while. The messes were worth cleaning up, the cute recordings you made were memories that'd last a very very long time.

Nighttime cuddles were great, Venom slinking beneath the blankets to wrap around both you and Eddie to snuggle, massaging you the whole night. It really helped when he would conform a certain way so you could lay on your side comfortably and ease the strain on your poor spine and hips.

Who needed a pregnancy pillow when you had a symbiote, right?

Eddie and Venom read up as much as they could on the subject of babies and childbirth and to say Eddie was terrified was an absolute understatement. The photos and diagrams alone had him chewing his nails (getting a swift smack from Venom) and he felt himself getting queasy when he found out that apparently you would be delivering the placenta as well?!

How much did you have to go through, making a tiny human?!

This whole situation amused the fuck out of you, however, as you'd done all this research and merely accepted it. A bit of blood, etcetera after delivery seemed easy to deal with given you've dealt with your period since puberty and that alone was a mess by itself...

But watching a man learn more about it? Oh, it was hilarious.

But hey! They were excited for a cute little baby girl to snuggle and kiss!

One night, you were laying in bed as you scrolled through various baby items online, saving a few cute things for later. Eddie had his head on your shoulder, watching a movie, with an arm draped over your belly, now painfully (sometimes literally) obvious bump, feeling the baby shift and move around as she kicked inside of you.

Venom had encapsulated Eddie's arm, his massive hand stroking your tummy idly.

Apparently, a thought had been bouncing around in Venom's brain and he finally decided to ask it. His head morphed from behind Eddie and peered over at you.

"The baby is a girl." He said.

"Yeah, Venom, that's been established." Eddie snorted, moving until his cheek was resting on your chest.

"Eddie, that's mean." You chuckle, running your fingers through his hair. "Venom, continue."

"Thank you, sweet thing." Venom purred at you, shooting Eddie a glare afterwards.

"But anyway... If the baby is a girl now..." He tipped his head to the side. "What if the baby decides or realizes when she's older that she isn't one? Or either?"

You lower your phone, eyebrows raised at the gravity of his question. Even Eddie sat up on his elbow to look at Venom, surprised at the depth of the question coming from his symbiote. Honestly though, the subject made sense coming from a species that technically didn't have genders in the first place...

Venom seemed happy with your reply, and looked to Eddie expectantly. He already knew what his opinion was, but he wanted him to say it out loud for you.

"Well..." You begin. "If she decides she wasn't born the right gender, or feels like she's neither, or even leaning on both scales... I won't have a problem. I just want our baby to be happy and healthy, not conformed or trapped in any way. That includes the identity she will have as she realizes things about herself."

"Well, I don't have room to talk on gender identity." Eddie snickered. "Considering how you didn't really decide to go by male pronouns until you bonded with me and stuck with that identity because it fit for you... so, yeah. Whatever the baby decides when she's old enough is fine with me."

You grin and kiss Eddie on his temple, ruffling his hair as Venom nuzzles into your belly.

Yeah...

Safe, happy, and loved. That's what your baby would be, no matter what. With her two weird dads and her mom who puts up with their nonsense.

[junicult]

!! showering w the bachelors for the first time

contains ; mostly fluff. fem!farmer. some suggestive parts. making out. newly established relationships. nsfw in sebastian’s, implied in shane’s & alex’s. afab!farmer. brief mention of fingering. not proofread, will later.

note ; i intended for this to be entirely sfw i swear

harvey.

- the honeymoon phase.

- where he doesn’t even live with you, yet he’s at your house nearly every night, or sometimes vise versa.

- when he uses your stove (with permission) to make you both dinner to share after you’ve finished work.

- where you’re still so in love all you wanna do is gaze into each others eyes and kiss until you can’t breathe.

- that’s exactly what kind of phase you’re in.

- and it’s been a long time since he’s been in that phase.

- you sorta have a whole routine atp.

- whenever he comes over, you make it a plan to wrap up work quickly & spend the evening with him,

- which is why you felt so guilty when you lost track of time, backpack full of rocks and geodes you couldn’t wait for clint to break open the next morning.

- when you glanced down at your watch, you nearly jumped ten feet in the air like a cartoon lmfao

- and you’ll definitely regret running up the ladder one level before you reached another button on the elevator—but right now, you weren’t even focused on that.

- by the time you made it back to your house, a mere two hours after you told harvey you’d be back, it was pitch-black outside.

- thankfully, he didn’t leave. instead, he stood scrubbing the dishes clean, before whipping around at the sudden swing of your front door.

- “harvey! i’m so sorry, i lost track of ti—“

- “oh thank yoba you’re okay,” he sighs, (u already know he wanted to call someone to check up on u but he didn’t want to seem controlling😭😭)

- and he didn’t waste a second to meet you at the door, scanning you just to see if you were injured.

- “i’m fine, i’m fine, just got way too distracted. did you make dinner? did you have to eat alone?? oh, i’m so so sorry i didn’t mean to—“

- ur word vomit is making him fall in love with you even more. two peas in a pod🫶🫶

- then it’s just back and forth of you constantly questioning and reassuring each other for a few moments.

- “but you made such a nice meal for me, and i kept you waiting, i just—i’m so sorry—“

- “sweetheart, it’s okay, i’m not mad,” he almost chuckles, holding you close.

- as soon as he established you’re not hurt or injured, he’s no longer stressed.

- he understands what it’s like getting carried away at work, so who is he to ever be mad at you for that?

- after you ate and assured him you were fine, that’s when you mentioned it.

- “i’m pretty dirty from the mines, i was gonna shower. make up for lost time with me?”

- his mind doesn’t inherently go to sexual things.

- honestly, he was just excited you wanted to.

- he also doesn’t give a fuck that he took a shower earlier. he just wants to spend time with you lol.

- although ik he’s all organized and has like a little routine where you both keep taking turns under the spray LMFAO

- like you get in first, rinse yourself off, then switch with him while you soap yourself up, switch & rinse, switch and apply shampoo, switch, etc, you get it.

- it’s so fucking funny LMAO.

- but the entire time you’re making casual conversation, some little comments about how much you missed each other, things like that.

- he loves how you look in the shower. not even bc ur naked, it’s just a vulnerable way to see the person you love, and there’s nothing sexual in the way he’s looking at you.

- even when you tug on his neck to pull him down for a kiss, he’s just swooning over your affections.

- unless the implication, or intention of sex came before the shower…he’s probably not approaching anything with that.

- it’s a completely different story if you’ve had a ton of tension all day,

- constantly making passing remarks that make his palms sweat, but unable to go any further because of your busy day,

- and you leave him all hot and bothered until you come home in the evening, and ask him to join you in the shower.

- that’s when he forgets all about the little routine.

sam.

- ah, the start to ur most important routine.

- honestly, i feel like you were the one who started it all.

- the whole, “every time you shower, we shower together” thing.

- at least, that’s what it becomes once you move in together. but before that, anytime he was over & you needed to shower, he’d totally join in.

- it’s not even sexual. there’s only like a 30% chance you’ll end up having sex, or even just do foreplay whenever you shower together.

- he’s just so clingy, and he craves the closeness after he realized how much he enjoyed you being there the first time.

- you both were quietly laying together, watching the tv wordlessly, just enjoying each others company after you two decided he should spend the night.

- which then prompted in him asking, “do you think i could use the shower? i smell bad.” he frowns after taking a whiff of his arm.

- you giggle. “i think you smell good, but go ahead. i don’t have your soap, though.”

- like he could care lmfao.

- “thanks!” he just grins, hopping on his feet and giving you a little kiss on the forehead before he skips off.

- you give it like 5 minutes before you decide u miss him too much (attachment issues😞)

- “sam…y’think you got room for two in there?” you knock before creeping the door open.

- he peeks his shampoo’d head from behind the shower curtain. “you wanna come in?”

- “is that okay?”

- u might’ve just asked him to marry you.

- his whole face lights up, grinning wide and opening the curtain wider as he steps to the side. “the more the merrier!”

- he doesn’t even care ur naked. there’s nothing sexual running through his mind, he’s just excited you’re standing with him rn. now he doesn’t have to rush to go see you.

- he even steps to the side to give you the chance to soak your hair under the spray.

- it’s easily just a little awkward at first.

- you’ve had sex before, that’s not why it’s awkward,

- only because it’s the first time you two are seeing each other completely naked without any intention of sexual advancement. not that it would be such a burden if you did, but neither of you want to.

- while you drench your hair, he can’t help but smile lovingly at the sight of water droplets all over your skin.

- he could easily be thinking about how much fun it’d be to have sex right here, but he’s too focused on how this might actually be his favorite thing you’ve ever done together.

- like minutes of silence pass, nothing but the water running and he’ll just lean in and press a kiss on your temple or shoulder.

- it’s not bc he’s trying to hint at something,

- he just wanted to do it, and he doesn’t really overthink the things he wants to do.

- but the affection makes you smile, and by how pure it was, it doesn’t send any false messages.

- it really doesn’t last that long. probably about 15 minutes of you both washing off and short displays of affection.

- yet it clung to you both so well, that it just became the routine you never skipped out on.

shane.

- it definitely just happened naturally.

- ur relationship at first was strictly sexual.

- to the rest of the town, no one even knew you guys even spoke. which, to be fair, there wasn’t much talking between u two anyways💀💀

- but i wanna say that was only for a couple weeks.

- it was still super slow and progressive. your conversations went from short & passing, to getting to know each other a little more. but the sex was still there.

- it went from instead of him leaving right after you finished, you’d stay up and talk for a couple hours.

- to waking up together, to spending the day together, etc etc.

- now ur relationship was approaching friends w benefits category. except it was unspoken, but neither of you wanted to be friends at this point.

- despite all of this, you’ve still never showered together.

- until you spent the whole day working outside. you feel gross, sticky, and sweaty. he just so happened to stick around after you started working.

- ur checking in on your animals he just follows you lol.

- before u both knew it, the sun was coming down and he spent the whole day helping you.

- the thing was, neither of you wanted to mention it. you were both nervous even bringing it up would spark the implication of wanting him to leave.

- which was not the case.

- not to mention, he’s a huge help. when u passed him ur axe to chop down trees, you almost couldn’t look away 🤷‍♀️

- so after you’ve finished, sun starting to set and sweat dripping from your temples—he’s still standing with you.

- “i feel gross, i’m gonna shower.” you frown, plucking your clothes away from your sticky skin.

- ofc he’s thinking it.

- but he doesn’t have time to make a sly comment before you shoot one over your shoulder, “there’s room for two, y’know.”

- say no more, he’s following close behind you throwing off his shirt.

- “thought you said there was room for two, there’s hardly room for one.” he snorts, squeezing himself beside you in the cramped space.

- “oh c’mon, you’ve never had a problem with making it fit.”

- he’s gonna lose his mind.

- u don’t really waste any time LMFAO

- drenching your hair under the spray before you look over at him,

- and you both just lean in cus it’s unspoken, but obvious you guys aren’t in there just to shower.

- he’s quick to slotting his hands at the small of your back, while you wrap yours around his neck and press yourself against him.

- …not much showering gets done, i’ll just say that.

sebastian.

- i feel like sebastian spends more nights at your house then he does at his own at this point.

- he’s not the type to get super attached very easily, even getting to the step of sleeping together took a while.

- but after it happened, he found your little cottage so comfortable. he liked waking up to you in the morning, and falling asleep in your arms at night.

- the only reason he goes home is to work.

- and the minute he finishes up, he heads back over.

- honestly, if he could pack up his computer and leave it at your house, then he’d never leave—which is probably why you made it clear he can’t do that.

- your relationship is already committed.

- i don’t really think he’d wanna sleep with you if hadn’t discussed a romantic relationship.

- anyways, i feel like bc of this, he’s already showered at your place lol.

- you were too busy to ask, and he knew you wouldn’t mind, so he just jumped in and took a quick shower.

- hours after you already started your chores for the day, he woke up & just sniffed his shirt and winced a little.

- he also did some laundry (for your sake).

- so then it kinda just became a, “hey, do you mind if i take a quick shower?” while you were preoccupied.

- sometimes you’d be the one to ask. like if you were lying together, on your bed in your house, you’d turn to him and say the same thing.

- it never rly occurred to either of u that you could knock out two birds with one stone🤷‍♀️

- one evening you were exhausted. you smelled horrible, you could already tell. you had spent nearly the entire day down in the mines, just covered in dirt and rubble, stinking like sweat yet he still kissed you when you came in.

- “i need to shower,” you groan, still accepting his kiss.

- ugh but he’s already spent the majority of the day without you, why are you going to deprive him of more?

- “i think you smell fine,” he tries his best to persuade, but you won’t budge.

- pressing against his chest, you giggle, “you know that’s not true. i’ll only be a few minutes, promise.”

- he’s honestly so clingy, literally tugging on your arm as you try to walk away and following behind you like a lost puppy.

- and suddenly, “i could use a shower too…” despite him using it earlier.

- you look at him for a second, narrowing your eyes, before you tease, “yeah, you could.”

- he’s much like sam, just less openly enthusiastic.

- when you tell him to get the water running, he’s only nodding, but it’s not hard to miss the way he’s turning to start the water so quick.

- and how he’s undressing like he has somewhere to be, despite presenting so nonchalant about it.

- for him, it’s just a better reason to be so close to you. he likes when you’re around.

- it really depends on how much he was missing you, but for the most part i don’t think it ever leads to anything sexual.

- sure, he stands back to let you rinse yourself off and his eyes wander, but that’s about as much that’ll happen if neither of you are in the mood.

- and even then, if you end up wanting to have sex, it hardly ever happens in the shower. most is just foreplay.

- which he is never opposed to.

- i’ve said it once, i’ll say it a million more times,

- he lovesss fingering you.

- and lowkey, if you’re intending on having sex and starting with foreplay in the shower…phew.

- gently pressing you against the shower wall, the water running all down his back but he doesn’t even care,

- and his lips are making out with yours, which are sloppy in response while his fingers press against that spot inside of you that has your neck craning and moans spilling…

- that’s what he wants when he’s been missing you and joins you in the shower.

alex.

- i actually think he’s similar to sam too.

- he’s a huge fan of showering together.

- for starters, he’s the kind of man who makes himself at home very quickly💀💀

- even when you guys weren’t even dating yet, still just in that getting to know each other and hanging out regularly phase.

- when you’d plan for him to come over once you finished up work and spend time w each other casually.

- the cocky side of him just took your hospitality as flirting.

- which, i mean, isn’t unbelievably far off. you do like him.

- but it was probably like his second time over at your house, and he just casually asked if he could take a shower.

- you might’ve raised an eyebrow, but you still said sure.

- so then it became a pretty normal thing. he never took longer then 10 minutes, so you could appreciate that.

- after you both started dating, and had seen each other naked, it became much more casual.

- the transition between not showering together, to showering together was so subtle.

- it just started with you showering, and he needed to pee so he’d just come in and, well, pee.

- then he’d be showering but you still needed to brush your teeth and do your skincare, so you hung out in the bathroom.

- and pretty soon it was so normal that when you asked if he wanted to join you one evening—you didn’t even think much of it.

- it wasn’t until you were midway through washing your body when you realized he was doing the same thing beside you.

- it was just like a, ‘oh, okay, this is normal now’ kind of realization.

- “can you pass me the shampoo?” like he was asking for the salt at the dinner table.

- it just felt natural, especially after he moved in.

- it became a thing you both do together.

- literally a part of your nightly routine. when you were ready to shower, you’d let him know and he’d start the water while you got undressed.

- so since it was your nightly routine, i feel like the longer you’re together, showering together and having sex doesn’t really pair up.

- you shower 9/10 times together. there’s no way you’d be able to keep up (he can tho lol)

- but that doesn’t mean it’s rare.

- he loves looking at you when you’re naked. no shame.

- there could be zero sexual energy between you two at the moment, and he’s still looking you up and down, admiring.

- he can’t help it! he doesn’t even have to be turned on for his body to react to yours.

- “are you hard right now?” you laugh almost like you’re making fun of him.

- and his response will always be, “well duh,” because you just have that affect on him.

elliott.

- another man that loves to shower with you.

- well…yes he likes to shower together, but he’s definitely a bigger fan of bathing together.

- i’ll get to that in a minute.

- your relationship progressed very steadily. it wasn’t until after a few dates when you actually slept together.

- once you had sex though, i feel like it opened you up into being much more comfortable around each other.

- spending time constantly, always inviting him over, allowing him to see you in more vulnerable ways like in your pj’s or all dirty.

- he approached the idea first, i feel like.

- you’ve been having a stressful week, working nearly every hour you were awake, and you had complained about it prior.

- so he just wanted to help you relax, setting up a nice bath with candles and bath salts and anything to help you relax.

- he’s so sweet about it too, not even intending on joining you until you clasped your hands together and asked him to.

- “join me, please. i’ve hardly seen you all week.”

- and he’s all ears.

- sitting in the opposite end, either sitting in peaceful silence or listening to you recap your day.

- i lowkey think he’d bathe you LMFAO

- like hear me out, he’s offering to wash your hair and he’s all delicate with it, giving you a whole head massage and dipping a cup of water to rinse it out.

- kissing your neck and shoulders, pampering you while you don’t even care to protest.

- and even if you did, he wouldn’t allow it. not when you’re all he wants to focus on right now.

- and despite him loving to bathe with you, i feel like his shower routine is so intensive and meticulous that it’s not often you shower together.

- he never minds your company, i promise you that.

- i just firmly believe he’s a morning showerer and you don’t really have the time for that in the morning.

- if you were to ask for him to join you, i don’t think he’d turn you down. he’d just stand away from the spray and tie his hair back so it doesn’t get wet LOL

- but he’s all for spending as much time as he can get with you.

[foxcantswim]

Hi hi hi!! I really liked how you wrote “Like She Does” with Vanny/Vanessa…would there maybe be another one like that for Vanessa/Vanny x F!Reader again sometime soon? 👀

FNAF Movie / / Vanessa x F!Reader x Vanny [Like She Does Part 2] 18+ Smut

(gif by me)

Vanny starts to become more and more 'touchy' with you. You try your hardest to deny her advances... It doesn't exactly go well. Content: SMUT!(18+), Established Relationship, Fluff, Split Personality, Pet Names(Bunny) W/C: 1,757

(So sorry if you aren't comfy with smut anon! This is where I intended this small story to go! I would be more than happy to write more fluff/angst/anything else for this type of pairing in the future if that's what you wanted instead!)

Part 1

The blonde currently hovering above you was quickly and hastily planting kisses along your neck and jaw.

Well... You hadn't quite anticipated this happening tonight but a part of you was definitely not against it. But there was also an even bigger part of you that was.

At first, it was Vanessa who had simply come into the office to make sure you were okay. A kiss and hug here and there and that was that. But then her much more darker and crazy side surfaced without warning. Vanny.

She had quickly pinned you to the dirty old couch at the back of the office, which had definitely not been cleaned in years. Thankfully, she had left the rabbit suit in the back of her patrol car. That would've definitely ruined the mood.

"Van-" your breath hitched in your throat as you felt the woman's hand slide underneath your shirt.

"Vanessa would haaate me right now," she giggled, the crazy look in her eyes was clear as she leaned down to claim your lips with hers. Your hand instinctively reached out to grab onto her belt, pulling her as close as you possibly could.

You started to snap back into reality once Vanny started to lift your shirt higher. A hand came out to grab onto her wrist, "W-Wait-!" you managed to pull away from Vanny's bruising kiss.

An annoyed groan left the blonde's lips, "What?" she glared down at you, gritting her teeth - eager to continue.

"I-I don't think this is a good idea," you wanted to move away, but deep down you knew you didn't. Vanessa wouldn't even dare to do something like this with you - not right now anyways. She had explicitly said she wanted to take things slow in the relationship.

"Why?" Vanny frowned, "Is this because of Vanessa?" she muttered, already started to hate her other personality.

"I promised her I would take things slow, Vanny. I don't think this is fair on her-!" you were caught off guard by Vanny pinning you harder down onto the couch, one of her hands grabbed your jaw harshly and pulled you back into a kiss. Her tongue immediately demanded entry and you accepted without really thinking about it.

Vanny was done wasting time, she decided that she needed you now and she was dead set on claiming what was hers.

You shook your head, breaking away from the kiss, "Van-"

"Shup up," she growled, ripping your shirt over your head, "Vanessa won't mind."

Oh, she definitely would.

But... Vanny is the same person as Vanessa. So this is fine. Right?

Vanny had become impatient, her hand unzipped your jeans and immediately buried her hand within. You couldn't help but let out a soft moan as her fingers started to gather your wetness.

"For someone who doesn't want this, you are sure drenched," Vanny teased.

It wasn't that you didn't want her. You couldn't help but feel guilt was over you as your thoughts drifted to Vanessa.

Vanessa and Vanny are the same person, you continued to tell yourself.

You bucked your hips up into her hand as her fingers drew small circles around your clit, way too slowly.

"Van..." you whimpered, throwing your head back against the couch.

Vanny giggled maniacally, "Aw, is my little bunny all pent up? Does Vanessa not fuck you like you want her to? Poor little Y/N..." she pulled your jeans off as quickly as she could, demanding better access. You were surprised when she forced you up off the couch, picking you up and throwing you onto the desk.

Your back hit the monitors as Vanny kneeled in between your legs, she quickly pulled your panties to the side before her tongue found its prize.

She kept her hands on your thighs, keeping them apart as she started to tease your clit. Your soft moans grew louder as her licks turned to harsh sucks.

You panted as your hips started to move on their own, "Shit- Vanny- Please-!"

"Poor Vanessa," Vanny laughed to herself, proud of what she was capable of doing to you. She brought a finger to your entrance, circling the sheer amount of wetness around. Her lips wrapped around your clit as she slowly pushed in her finger. She moaned around your clit purposefully, smirking as she heard you groan in response.

She started to pump her finger in and out, her tongue drawing small circles as she did.

One of your hands gripped the desk, your other wrapped in Vanny's messy blonde hair, keeping her head in place.

Without warning, another finger was added and the pace quickened. She pounded her fingers ruthlessly into you, dragging along a sweet spot deep inside you. She felt your legs shake around her head, "Does my good little bunny need to come?" she teased.

"Van," you whimpered, before a shaky moan escaped you. You flew your head back, hitting the monitors.

Despite your protests, she drew her head away, tutting you, "I don't think you've quite earned your reward, Y/N~" her voice was malicious, her fingers slowed their movements. You felt tears sting your eyes as you tried to grind against her, pleading for any sort of satisfaction.

"Please, Vanny. Please... I deserve it, please..." your brain had turned to mush, the only thing you were seeking was your sweet release.

She placed an agonizing kiss against your clit before she began to move her fingers again, "You're lucky I love you, little bunny. And you're lucky I want to make her jealous," her mouth reattached to your needy clit, giving it the attention it deserved.

You started to feel your body tense as Vanny finally sucked harder than she had before. She purposefully dragged her fingers against your sweet spot, drawing a series of moans and whimpers from your mouth.

"Y-Yes! Vanny, I-" your own words were cut off by another moan, your toes curling as you felt your body tense.

"Come on, little bunny. I'm getting impatient," she groaned in annoyance, "Come for me, Y/N."

The final stroke of her tongue and her deep husky voice was more than enough to send you over the edge, your orgasm coating her fingers, she continued to pump in and out to drag it out for as long as possible, "Good girl. Good bunny," she cooed, looking up at your through hooded eyes. The tears in your eyes finally fell down your cheeks, a final shaky moan left your lips as your legs went limp.

"Hmm, Vanessa will be jealous~" Vanny taunted, finally pulling her fingers out of you, "Very very jealous," another laugh escaped her as she licked her fingers, moaning as she did, "At least she'll know what you taste like when she regains control," she winks up at you before standing.

"V-" she cut you off with a deep kiss, her tongue immediately fighting yours. You couldn't help but groan at the taste of yourself. Vanny's hands gripped your hips harshly, enough to make them bruise. You wished Vanessa would be like this with you.

You were certain that Vanessa was going to hate you. The pain and ache in your heart was evident. But the afterglow of the orgasm Vanny had just given you was a good enough reason to not feel so bad. She would understand... She had to.

Your arms were quick to wrap around Vanny's neck, basking in the kiss.

"I love you," Vanny said as she pulled away. It was rare for Vanny to be soft, so you couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too, Vanny," you assured. She leaned in for yet another kiss.

But suddenly... her eyes snapped shut and she took a quick step back.

Your eyes widened.

"V-Vanny?" you asked, praying that it was still her.

The blonde's eyes opened. She looked you up and down. Her cheeks quickly reddened upon realising the position you were in.

"Y-Y/N?!" she exclaimed, "What-? Why are you-?" she looked away, slightly embarrassed. She used the back of her hand to wipe her chin, and of course it was wet. She started to connect the puzzle pieces together in her head.

"N-Nessy, I can explain-" you jumped off the desk, searching for your clothes. Vanessa had turned away, not quite believing what was going on.

She finally turned to look at you once were you dressed, her glare was sharp, "I thought I told you I wasn't ready for Vanny to be a part of this relationship... And then you do something like this?" you could tell that she was angry, but you could also hear the hurt in her voice.

"Vanessa," you took a step towards her. She looked away as you grabbed her hand, "All I can say is I'm sorry. But it's so difficult to control myself around you. I've wanted to take the next step in our relationship for a while, it was hard to say no to Vanny. You are crazy attractive and Vanny just... I imagined you saying the things she did and doing the things she did... I couldn't control myself. I'm sorry, Nessy," your free hand reached up to rub her cheek, making her look at you.

Vanessa's cheeks were still red, her heartrate had picked up.

She remained silent, searching your eyes.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa. I love you. Please-"

The shock on your face was clear as Vanessa pushed you back against the desk.

"You find her so fucking attractive, hm?" the anger in her voice started to outweigh the hurt.

"N-Nessy?" you said, slightly concerned. Your felt small under her gaze as her hands planted themselves on either side of your thighs, her palms flat against the desk.

"Maybe I have to prove that you're mine. Not hers."

A part of you was confused as to who was exactly talking right now. Vanny or Vanessa.

"Vanny will never have you like I do, I'll make sure of it," her hand roughly cupped your jaw, "I might have to punish you for letting that stupid rabbit have her way with you before me."

Well that confirmed it was in fact Vanessa.

You weren't entirely sure on where this new Vanessa was coming from... But you were definitely not going to complain.

I haven't wrote smut in years, can you tell? :)

Taglist: @marvelwomen-simp ; @emiliaisdead ; @natashas-whore

[sansaorgana]

hello!! i’ve been reading you’re gale fics and i stumbled across the one where they meet once he goes back to school! i loved it so much and was wondering if you could do a part 2 kind of on their relationship once they officially become a couple?

hi, darling! thank you for your request! 🎀 I really like this story because it's different than usual Gale fics 😊 in this part they are apart for the summer holidays and they miss each other meanwhile her mum wants her to meet her son's friend who is closer to Reader's age and all that and then Gale shows up to visit because he's been missing his girl 😌

[ PART ONE ]

my requests are currently closed 🙅🏻‍♀️

Your relationship with Gale was going steady and everyone seemed to be interested in it, which was giving you both more attention than usual. You weren’t a very social couple and yet everyone wanted to talk to you all of a sudden as they hoped you would answer some questions that they had about him. Who he was, where had he come from, why did he have those scars on his face… You were only smiling gently at those people and trying to avoid answering such questions.

Your roommate Kathy and her boyfriend Jack were the only two people you talked to about such things – although you were still quite angry at Jack for looking into Gale’s personal documents to find out about his past. But since he had already known it anyway, there was no point of lying in front of him or avoiding the subject anyway.

With time people eventually gave up and let you go, disappointed about not getting many answers to their nosy questions. Thankfully, everything went back to the old ways and you were quite invisible again and so was Gale because everyone just had gotten used to him being around and remaining a little mystery. Also, someone had spread a rumour already about him being a pilot from the war. You had a nasty feeling it was Jack but you didn’t want to ask him because you didn’t want to fight with him and Kathy. Gale had assured you it was fine – after all, the new rumour was believable enough for the other, less pleasant rumours to stop. And most people were satisfied with this information about him without asking any further questions.

The semester was slowly coming to an end and you were sitting under a tree in the park, enjoying the warm weather with your head on Gale’s shoulder. Both of you were reading books for your upcoming exams and you were chewing on a pen but your thoughts were getting distracted.

“How will you spend your summer holidays?” You asked him, all of the sudden.

Gale looked down at you with a furrowed brow as he chuckled.

“I’m gonna visit my family for some time but then I’m gonna come back here, I think,” he answered. “And you? Going back to your family, I assume?” He asked and you nodded, anxiously.

“I’m gonna be out for the whole summer,” you explained. “But now… Now I’m thinking I should perhaps only go there for a month and spend the second one here with you?”

“I don’t want to keep you away from your family, love,” Gale smiled gently and caressed your cheek with his fingertip.

“And what are you gonna do here without me around?” You crossed your arms after closing your book loudly.

“Same as always,” Gale shrugged his arms. “Same as I was doing before we started seeing each other,” he explained.

“But you’re going to miss me, right?” You bit on your lower lip.

“Of course,” Gale shook his head and kissed the top of your head. “I’m going to call you and send you letters,” he assured you as he squeezed your arm. “You’re going to miss me, too, right?”

“Right,” you nodded with a shy smile but you looked away.

You couldn’t help an awful feeling that you would miss him more than he would miss you. Gale was a mystery to everyone but to you as well sometimes – he was a stoic and demure man, which was understandable because of his past and his age but… Sometimes you wished he would be more open with his feelings.

Gale took you to the train station on the day of your departure back home and he was standing on the platform and waving his hand after you as you were staring through the window and waving back. It was like in that song Love In Vain and for some reason you couldn’t help but feel sad and nostalgic about this farewell even though you would be back in two months.

But would everything be the same between you two then? It was hard to believe.

It didn’t help that at home everyone seemed to question your relationship. You expected everyone to be excited about you finally finding a partner and about him being a mature man who was a war hero but apparently everyone had some problem with that.

“What does he look like?” Your sister wanted to know. You sighed at her shallowness but you tried not to get angry because she was only a teenager. You took out the picture that Kathy had taken of you and Gale inside the library. “Why does he look like this?” Your sister asked.

“What are you talking about? He’s handsome!” You protested and she took the picture from your hands to take a closer look.

“The scars on his cheeks…”

“Well, he was in the war,” you reminded her with an eye roll, getting annoyed already at her comment.

“I don’t know… He looks stiff and sad,” she handed you the picture back.

“War does terrible things to men. Are you sure he’s, you know, right in the head?” Your father squinted his eyes at you as he lowered his newspaper. He only took a brief look at the picture and cleared his throat.

“Gale is perfectly fine in the head,” you clenched your jaw and looked at your mother, hoping she would back you up on that but she sighed instead.

“Why couldn’t you find yourself a boy your age, darling? And what is he even doing right now? Are you sure he is not flirting with other girls? Women his age, I mean?” She put her hands on her hips.

“Gale is not like that…” You started but you knew how pathetic that sounded like. Every woman who had been cheated on had probably used the same words. Your mother shook her head and muttered something to herself before walking out of the room to check on the pie in the oven.

You were growing insecure because of their words and comments. You sent Gale a letter in which you assured him of your love and you also added how much you missed him. You hoped to remind him about your devotion.

Not long after, your mother came up with a great plan of setting up a date for you with her friend’s son. You had been refusing that many times because how could you worry about Gale cheating on you while going out on a date yourself? Your mother’s friend and her son were invited to dinner at your place once and you even said it to his face that you had a boyfriend but he didn’t seem to be discouraged.

He was quite handsome, that boy. His name was Bobby and he was only slightly older. He had just finished his education and he was going to settle down in your hometown and start his own business. He had a bright future ahead of him due to his confidence and his father’s money.

Everyone kept insisting on you going out with him to the point you just had to agree but you kept repeating over and over that it was definitely not a date – just a meeting with a friend.

Bobby took you to the restaurant and ordered meals for you both without even letting you take a look at the menu.

“I just know what you’re going to love. Everyone loves it. My father knows the owner and it’s their best meal,” he assured you sweetly but you did not like his behaviour anyway. You decided not to comment on that, though.

“Thank you,” you only answered as your mother would expect you to.

“So, when are you graduating?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I still have two years to get a Bachelor degree,” you explained. “And so does Gale.”

“Why are you so pressed about getting that degree, hm? You have that… Gale already,” he winced a little at the mention of the name. “Most girls only go to college to meet their husband.”

“Gale is not my husband yet,” you straightened yourself but you felt your heart pounding at the mention of such possibility. It filled your whole body with butterflies. “And even if he was, I would still want that degree and I know that Gale would support me in that. He knows how important it is for me. I haven’t worked so hard to get to college just to resign because of a man,” you explained and Bobby rolled his eyes.

“And what is he even doing there?” Bobby asked. “How old is he?”

“He’s going to be thirty in two years,” you answered and Bobby whistled.

“And he’s wasting time on getting degrees instead of starting something for himself?” He looked genuinely surprised.

“He is not wasting time, he is getting a degree! And I know already he will want more than just a Bachelor. All the professors praise him, too,” you answered. “I’m sure he’s gonna get a Masters or even a PhD.”

“Degrees are not for everyone. I mean, not everyone has to have one. We need simple workers, too. And if I was his age, I would try to catch up on the time I lost and go to work. He should accept the fact that his chance to get properly educated is already–” Bobby started and you widened your eyes at his rudeness.

“He was in the war, for God’s sake, Bobby! He was fighting in Europe so you could be safe here and study yourself… How can you not be grateful for that?” You shook your head.

“Was he? Your mother told my mother that your Gale had spent over a year in the camp for the prisoners of war,” Bobby scoffed. “That’s hardly fighting.”

“You have no idea what he’s been through,” you snapped back and then the waiter brought the food to your table so you smiled at him and took your plate.

Just like you had been expecting, the food was awful. You only ate a little bit and watched Bobby devour his whole plate.

“You know, our mothers would like us to get married. For you to drop out of college and become my wife,” he told you between one bite and another. You felt your guts turning inside out at that.

“Thankfully, we don’t agree with that, do we?” You looked him up and down and Bobby shrugged his arms.

“Thought you would do, but your brain’s already filled with… ideas. That’s why I’m against women going to colleges,” he explained.

“What ideas?” You wondered out loud. “I don't mind becoming a wife and a mother one day. I just want a degree first,” you explained.

“Yeah… All that talk. Sorry, I don’t buy it,” he chuckled.

The rest of the meal went pretty quiet. Bobby paid for it and he walked you home as the sun was slowly setting down. He insisted on walking you up to the front door of your house, so you knocked upon them and waited there awkwardly in silence.

When your mother opened the door, she looked pretty uncomfortable and… scared? You wondered what had happened. You expected her to be overjoyed and ask a million questions about your “date”.

Then, your heart skipped a beat when you spotted a familiar person standing behind her… It was Gale.

“Your boyfriend paid you a visit,” she whispered at you and you met his gaze.

Gale approached you and you nearly gasped to have him so close again. You nearly forgot how handsome he was in real life. His baby blue eyes were even sadder than usual, though, and you knew why. He turned to extend his hand towards Bobby.

“Nice to meet you. Gale,” he introduced himself, classy as always.

“N-nice to meet you, sir. Bobby. I mean, Robert,” Bobby shook his hand and you would laugh at that if you weren’t so scared of Gale witnessing that boy walking you home in the evening. Your dress, your makeup, your hair… It was obvious there had been some sort of a date going on between you two.

“Thank you for entertaining my girl and being such a gentleman to walk her back home,” Gale told him and Bobby looked away anxiously.

“No problem… We just had dinner together, that’s it…” He explained.

“Yeah!” Your mother added. “Told you, Mr. Cleven, they’re just friends,” she nodded eagerly and you furrowed your brows at her.

“Well, thank you for tonight, Bobby. It was nice,” you smiled fakely at the boy and you took Gale by his hand to walk inside the house with him.

Your mother said goodnight to Bobby and closed the door behind him as you and Gale were standing awkwardly together in the hall.

“We are all in the living room, getting to know your boyfriend better,” your mother explained to you as she put her hand on your shoulder and smiled nervously at Gale. “Mr. Cleven wanted to surprise you because he was missing you so much. You’re going to sleep with your sister tonight, I prepared her bedroom for Mr. Cleven to sleep in.”

You only nodded at that. Your father walked out of the living room and hurried Gale to come back to them because he was very interested in some story from the war. You let go of Gale’s hand and watched him walk away before you followed your mother inside the kitchen.

She was slicing a pie when she looked up at you with guilt in her eyes.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered. “I didn’t know he would come… Obviously, I wouldn’t make you go on that date with Bobby if–”

“It was not a date,” you interrupted her. “And it was awful. Bobby is not a good man. Why did you change your mind about Gale, though?” You furrowed your brow at her.

“Seeing him in real life, I mean… He is a very kind man and you can just… You can just feel that he’s good,” she sighed. “And much more handsome than in the picture,” she smiled nervously at you. “I’m glad that you have him and–”

“It’s too late for that,” you interrupted her again. “And God only knows if I still have him,” your lower lip trembled but you moved away when she approached you to give you a hug. Shaking your head, you walked out of the kitchen and you sniffled your tears back before joining the rest in the living room.

You sat next to Gale on the sofa with a soft smile. Your father was occupying an armchair and listening to Gale’s story with nothing but pure interest on his face. Your sister was sitting on the armrest of his armchair and listening as well even though girls like her were usually not into war stories.

You watched your family fall for Gale for the rest of the evening while you kept sitting there and worrying if you weren’t losing him in the meantime. Knowing how awkward the situation currently was, your father didn’t even ask him any serious questions about the nature of your relationship.

When the clock struck midnight, everyone decided to go to bed. Gale was especially tired after his train ride. You went to the bathroom first and took a quick shower before getting into your nightgown. Gale was a gentleman and he allowed your sister to take a shower before him but when they were talking about it in the corridor, you hid inside your bedroom. You sat on the bed, remembering to make space for your sister, too.

A slight knock upon your door made you look up anxiously. You knew it was Gale and your heart became a lump in your throat.

“C-come in,” you whispered.

He opened the door shyly and walked inside, looking around with a soft smile at the sight of your room.

“I finally have you for myself for a short while,” he said and approached your bed. You noticed that he left the door to your room ajar – such a gentleman, always.

“You don’t know my sister, Gale. It won’t be a short while. Her quick shower is at least half an hour long,” you chuckled and he smiled at that.

“Can I sit next to you?” He asked and blushed a little.

“You don’t have to ask me such things,” you moved slightly to make more space.

“Don’t I?” He took a seat next to you and looked deep into your eyes. You opened your mouth to answer but he continued. “Listen, I understand. I am older than you and I am not exactly… I am not exactly the happiest person, I have a past… I understand, I really do. And I am not angry, I would never be angry at you but… You could have written that to me. I just don’t understand the lies. At that, I am a little angry but I’m trying not to be, I assume you were scared of hurting or rejecting me,” Gale’s voice broke a little and so did your heart because he had misunderstood everything so awfully and yet… He was so kind and gentle about it. So understanding. “You sounded so sad in your letter; that you missed me and that you… That you… That you loved me,” his jaw clenched and his eyes filled with tears. “I wanted to come here and make sure you were alright. I’ve been missing you like crazy… And… Yeah, you could have just written to me that you met someone else.”

“Gale…” His name was all you managed to let out in a broken whisper. You caught his trembling hands into yours and squeezed them, trying to pour all of your love into him in this small gesture. “Gale, it’s not like this… Please, believe me,” you started. “Bobby is the son of my mum’s friend and they wanted us to date despite me telling them I have you already. They were very pushy and I agreed to have dinner with him. It was not a date, though, and it was awful,” you cracked a smile through your own tears. “I don’t want to ever see him again, in fact. He was rude and we don’t share the same beliefs or ideology. But even if we did and if he was kind, he would only become my friend and nothing else. Because I already have a boyfriend and I am happy with him and proud of him and…” You shook your head and gasped, trying to find the right words. “And if you don’t believe me, I don’t know what I’m going to do…”

Short silence occurred. Gale blinked away all of his tears and his lips finally curled up in a soft smile. You loved that genuine, loving smile on his face. You let go of his hands to cup his cheeks and caress his scars with your thumbs.

“I believe you, my love, why wouldn’t I?” He asked quietly. “It didn’t make sense to me why would you lie in your letters anyway. It didn’t seem like my girl at all,” he admitted.

“I am. I am your girl,” you nodded to assure him and you pulled his face down to join your foreheads together. “And I would never lie to you like that. I would never break your heart. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he pecked your lips.

“Ugh,” your sister’s sigh made you both move away from each other and look up at her. “I can go to my room. Mom will not notice,” she told you.

“No, no,” Gale shook his head and stood up. “I am leaving for the night now.”

Sometimes, you hated what a gentleman he was.

“Goodnight, girls,” he winked at you and squeezed your sister’s arm before leaving the room.

“Do you share a room together in college?” Your sister asked when she laid on the other side of your bed.

“No!” You felt your cheeks heating up. “Girls have their own dormitories and boys have their own,” you explained and laid down next to her before turning the small lamp by your bed off.

“I didn’t know… But that makes sense,” she admitted and moved closer to you. “Do you think I will go to college, too? Is it fun?”

“It’s very fun. And I hope you will go,” you kissed her forehead. “You just have to keep getting good grades,” you assured her. 

“And do you think I’m going to meet a nice man like Gale there?”

“Oh, dear,” you laughed softly. “I hope so. But a man like him is one in a million.”

“You must miss him terribly when you’re here and he’s there,” she sighed.

“I am. And you know what? Tomorrow, I might go back with him,” you told her as you made this decision inside your head this very moment. You didn’t have to see her face to know that she was sad about it. “You can go with me if mom and dad agree. My roommate is with her family so I have space in my room,” you assured her and rubbed her arm. “And now go to sleep, little one.”

You tried to fall asleep, too, but you could only think of Gale being in the room next to yours, in your little sister’s pink bedroom. You chuckled at the thought.

When her breath was steady and you were sure that she had fallen asleep, you carefully slid out of the covers and you tip-toed to her bedroom where Gale was. He was tossing and turning when you entered and you thought that he couldn’t fall asleep either but no, you quickly realised that he was having a nightmare. He had told you about them before but you had never witnessed them yourself.

“Gale…” You touched him gently, scared of what he might do when he suddenly wakes up. However, you didn’t want him to be tormented in his sleep anymore. “Gale…”

He opened his eyes and sat up, breathing heavily. You turned the small lamp on your sister’s bedside table and you sat on the edge of the bed to cup his sweaty face. His eyes were widened and he looked like he couldn’t recognise you or the place – but the second part was quite understandable.

“Baby, it’s me,” you cooed sweetly. “You’re at my place, in my sister’s bedroom,” you told him. “You’re safe,” you added to assure him and you felt his muscles relaxing.

“Was I… Was I loud?” He asked and rubbed his face with his hand.

“No, darling, I just sneaked out of my room to lay with you for a while but I saw you were having a nightmare,” you admitted and Buck looked at you in a funny way – nearly as if he was scolding you. You giggled a bit at that and fixed his ruffled hair. “Well, I don’t have to lay here if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” he pulled you closer by your waist and you ended up laying on his chest. He hugged you tightly and you hugged him back as his fingers played with your hair. “I just didn’t expect you to be such a little rebel.”

“There’s still a lot about me for you to learn, Mr. Cleven,” you teased.

“I can’t wait,” he whispered in all seriousness before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[klausysworld]

Can you make a smut like just pure smut klaus x reader (preferably black/mixed reader)reader is hope Mikealson’s best friend and reader is finally meeting hopes family and she is all hot and bothered by klaus and klaus can tell

“Hii how are you could you maybe make a smut klaus x fem reader hopes best friend (reader)finally meet hope’s family and reader is drawn to klaus and can’t take her eyes off of him and he notices and something happens between them :)”

this was also requested and i wasn’t sure if you could respond to two at once??

Hope and i had been best friends for a while now and i was so nervous about meeting her family. I’ve seen pictures and been told all about them so hopefully everything will be fine but i sort of already have crush on her dad even though i haven’t actually met him?

Hope knows i find him attractive and always makes jokes about it, thankfully she finds it funny instead of making it weird

“i know they’re all gonna love you! You, y/n y/l/n, are gonna become an honorary Mikaelson… or maybe an actual Mikaelson if you marry my dad… will that make me your daughter? should i start calling you Mommy?” i shoved her as we laughed and got out of her car to start walking to to her house, i ended up chasing her most of the way to the door as she fake screamed and ran

“i call maid of honour!” she called as we got to the entrance

“who’s getting married?” was said from behind me making me jump forward towards Hope, she had a big smile on her face as she grabbed my arm

“Dad!! this is y/n remember i told you all about her!?” my face heated up as i ran a hand down my face and glanced at Klaus who looked somehow even better in person than in the photos

“oh god what did you say?” i mumbled shaking my head and both she and her father laughed

“nothing bad love, in fact she said many wonderful things, you enjoy art?” i side eyed a very smiley Hope who was practically buzzing

“she does, she paints too, she’s really good, i think you should show her your art room cuz i know for a fact that she would just looove it, i showed her some of your pieces and her mouth was hanging open like a fish she looked adorable” she rambled but i don’t think Klaus was listening much, he was looking straight into my eyes as his pupil dilated as he licked his bottom lip and hummed

“well them we’ll take her up yes?” he cut hopes rant off and she nodded excitedly

“sure well im gonna see aunt Bex so if you take her to see that- the art! i’ll see you both in a moment” she literally slid out of the room as she slipped and skidded round the corner

“you don’t have to, i think Hopes in a…funny mood” i explained and began walking after her but his large hand took ahold of mine and he spun me back to his chest

“we should go see the art, if she thinks we should see the art then it’s what we should do” i whispered an “okay” in response and he led me up the stairs.

He showed me many paintings and sketches letting me touch the different textures and flip through his books. All the way through he kept a hand on my waist, his face was practically sat in the crook of my neck and he whispered stories of why painted different things. One sketch book had paintings of naked women, or hands touching intimate parts of someone, i felt my panties dampen at the thought of him painting my body, his hands cupping my breasts. He inhaled deeply through his nose and let out a little grunt

“which is your favourite?” he muttered as he bushed himself against me letting me feel his hard on against my ass

“probably that one…” i said quietly pointing to the painting of the women lead on the bed with her back arched and her head thrown back

“mm that was actually a very interesting person, she had very lovely hands you see?” he moved my hand to where hers were, she was squeezing her own breasts, i realised that was the main focus of his drawing, her hands

“you’re very talented Mr Mikaelson” he smirked and rubbed my hip with his thumb

“1000 years of practice can do that, perhaps…you’ll let me do you?” i gulped and slowly turned around so our chests were touching, i was breathing pretty heavily and could feel my breasts brushed against him, i locked eyes with his sapphire ones as i tilted my head up. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine which i immediately reciprocated, they were plump and soft making me push my tongue through them and taste his. He tasted rich and intoxicating making me moan into his mouth and moved my hands to hold the back of his head while his held onto my waist pulling me tightly against him. He moved a hand down and lightly squeezed my ass under my skirt. He pushed his leg in between my thighs and moved me along his jeans, the fabric quickly darkened with my wetness as it went through my underwear onto him. I panted when he moved his mouth down to suck along my jaw and then down and back up my neck finding my sweet spot just below my ear and paying it extra attention. I moaned again louder and i began grinding against him harder. He brought his hands down to lift me up by my thighs, i wrapped my legs around him as he connected our mouths again.

Our tongues entwined and the sound of pages scattering the floor filled the room, i was put into the now empty table, i was pushed flat on my back and my legs were pulled to the edge

“you look so bloody beautiful spread our like this, suck a lovely dress” he told me and kissed down my neck to my cleavage, he ran his tongue along the swell of my breasts. I arched my back and moved my hands up to undo some of the buttons going down so he had better access to them. Klaus gently cupped them both and then attached his lips to my left one making me gasp. He tugged on it and swirled his tongue around it before giving the same affection to the other one. He undid the rest of the buttons and pushed it off my arms leaving me completely bare for him.

Nervousness flooded through me and i brought my knees up to my chest so i was covered

“i want to see you y/n, all of you” he whispered and pulled my knees apart to look at my most private area. The vulnerability of being so open for him while he was still fully clothed had me avoiding any eye contact as he studied me.

“you are magnificent you know that? absolutely divine” he announced moved so he was off the table and pulling me to the edge, he went down onto his knees and held my legs open

“do you want this, love?” he whispered locking eyes with me

“i- i do” he smirked in response and his tongue darted out. His hot tongue kitten licked at my clit, my hands flew to his hair and pulled him towards me breathing out his name as though it were a prayer

“lay back love” he instructed before his actions became more. He was now sucking harshly at my clit and his tongue teased my entrance making me gasp a moan. I opened my legs as wide as they would go when his skilful tongue entered me, he expertly plunged it within me and i called out for him desperately. The dreams i had were no where near as brilliant as the real thing. I could feel myself fluttering around his tongue, his thumb went to my clit and drew figures of eight upon it, he gradually got faster and i pulled at his sandy locks. The burning sensation pulsed through me, my nails scratched his scalp, his groan adding to the pure pleasure coursing inside while my toes curled and i came into his mouth. His thumb slowed and gently tapped my clit as he licked up every last drop that escaped me.

“You taste fantastic y/n” he whispered and kissed me again letting me see how sweet i was in his mouth.

“can you take your clothes off now” i asked shyly still playing with his curls. He smirked and kissed my lips again

“i suppose it’s only fair” he said while removing his shirt. I gaped at his toned body and couldn’t help but run my fingertips down his torso as he undid his belt, when i glanced down to his underwear i audibly swallowed

“i know you’re going to be so good for me” he uttered stroking my cheek with his palm while palming himself

“how…how do you want me?” i hesitated before asking still eyeing his thickness, almost drooling when he twitched

“Let’s get you on the floor” he pulled me down from the table and onto the floor

“hands and knees love” he whispered and i did as told. He disappeared for a second before returning with a pillow, he stretch my arms and and told me to rest my head on the pillow. I arched my back for him and shivered at the thoughts running through my mind

“you’re sure?”

“i’m positive” i replied

A moment later his tongue was in my folds again gathering my juices and sliding into my centre before exiting again and shifting himself forward, his hands rubbed my ass and down my back, he gripped onto my hips and guided me onto his dick. My tight walls swallowed him as soon as he entered his thick length and we both moaned.

“oh god” i mumbled and stretched myself further

“not god love, just me” he slowly removed himself until just is tip remained inside me before thrusting back in forcefully and building a rhythm from there

“i don’t think ‘just me’ is a fair answer there, you’re basically a god” he gave a breathy laugh and continued moving, i had never felt so full in my life, his cock buried far inside me hitting my g-spot just right making me cry out for him to continue. He gave guttural moans from behind me. His hands moved up my back and got ahold of the area between my neck and shoulders, he pulled me back into him to meet his forceful jolts. I tightened around him and i could feel my clit screaming to be touched, almost as if he could read my mind one hand left my shoulder and went to his mouth before down against my bundle of nerves.

“you going to cum for me sweet y/n?” he asked as he twitched inside me and his thrusts became slightly sloppy. I nodded rapidly and my body shook with the force he used to fuck me. i squeezed the pillow between my hands and cried out a moan of his name as i clamped around him and let him fill me with his hot fluid.

He rocked into me for a while longer before slipping out of me and letting out a sigh of contentment. My body relaxed and my face pressed into the pillow, my ass was still propped in the air and i groaned at the ache in my core pushed myself up on my arms and then my hands and rolled over to sit down

“did i do okay?”

“you did perfectly, come here” i crawled over to him and he tilted my head to kiss my lips slowly and softly

“Hope’s waiting for us and you need to meet everyone else but next time i’ll take you out for a romantic dinner, i’ll get you another pretty dress, your favourite flowers which i already know because Hope has told me everything i could need to know and then if you want something like this again ill have you in my bed” i blushed dark and nodded smiling

“i’d like that very much”

[lawva-girl]

Jealousy

Law x fat!reader

reader is gender nuetral. :))))

WC: 1365

shout out to @sukunas-play-thing for the idea!!!! I hope you like this with my whole heart!!!!

I just know in my soul Law would go so incredibly well with a plussized person!!!!!!!

Boa Hancock. The most beautiful woman in the world. Looking at her made you feel like there wasn’t even a comparison between the two of you, she was so pretty. You were… average? It was hard to tell. 

You, along with the Heart pirates, were all staring at her in amazement. You heard the voice of her sister, warning all the men of what could happen if their sister got upset. Saying something about how she isn’t afraid to turn allies either. 

It didn’t matter, they all still looked. You wondered if it worked on women too, since Ikkaku was also staring with heart eyes. After a quick glance around, you found that Law was nowhere to be seen. 

Suddenly you were storming into his room, desperate to find him. You knew it wasn’t entirely plausible but what if he had gone off and turned to stone? You had to find him, you could probably convince Hancock to turn him back… 

You turned the corner to leave his room, when a voice scared the fuck out of you.

“What are you doing here y/n-ya?” 

Freezing in place, part of you was incredibly grateful he didn’t turn to stone, another part of you was freaking out that your beloved Law had caught you in his room. 

“Oh Law… uhm the crew was staring at Hancock again… I came to get you.” You barely got the sentence out, since you were trying to make up a reason as to why you were here that wasn’t pathetic.

“Thank you for getting me, I’ll head out there now.” 

Suddenly there was panic in your gut again, but he was already on the move to you, where the door was.   

“Law, you shouldn’t go out there! You might see her!” You turned fully towards him and decided that you would refuse to let him pass. 

“Why would that matter?” He didn’t even slow down, just opened a room and ‘shambles’ his way past you. 

You turned as quickly as you could to look at him but his hat was the only thing you saw. He was gone.

You stood for only a second before beginning to chase after him. 

Once outside, there was a peculiar scene.

The heart pirates were all sitting on their knees, head hung low. They were sitting in front of Hancock and Law, who were lecturing the group together.

Upon seeing you on the deck of the polar tang Law nodded, then went back to yelling. You stood there confused, clearly something had happened, but you felt like an outsider. 

Not a clue as to what was happening. 

Thankfully, Law decided to clue you in on what occurred later.

The two of you were sitting in the medical bay, where he was patching up a gash in your leg. It had been an eventful day to say the least. The bay itself was quiet and calm though, not showing any signs of what had occurred that day. With the exception of you and your leg of course. 

“You can’t just run around however you want y/n-ya.” Law didn’t even look up at you as he spoke, instead focusing on the stitches he was putting in your leg.

“It’s not like I wanted to fall off the Tang… my depth perception was just a bit off. Plus I would’ve been fine if the repairs Shachi was working on were finished.” You closed your eyes when you felt the pinching pain Law was administering.  

“I’ve had to yell at too many people today, can’t any of you behave?” He grumbled, making it obvious for you that he was upset. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I promise I won’t fall again. It’s not like anyone would be able to fish me out if I did.” 

“What?” 

“What?” 

Law stared at you now, you assumed he looked up in shock at one point or another. 

“What did you have to yell at the others for?” You asked him, not giving him the chance to say anything. 

Law took a deep breath, “they almost got turned to stone, Hancock caught them all staring. Thankfully she wasn’t upset, since we had helped Luffy.” 

“Oh that’s good…” you laid back fully, closing your eyes. You had always worked as a somewhat friend to Law, hearing him rant and complain. It made you happy to have a use. It made you especially happy to have Law need you, despite knowing that you didn’t have a chance with him.

Law didn’t speak much in general, so if you wanted to know you kinda had to pry. You wanted to know so badly how he ended up lecturing beside Hancock, but you also did not want to know at all. 

“So.. you weren’t staring with them?” You felt your heart quicken, but you didn’t say anything to take it back. 

Law coughed a bit, then explained, “No. she’s pretty but I’m not… attracted to her.” 

“Why not? She’s beautiful and she has the perfect body! Plus her hair is perfect and she’s so skinny, anyone could fish her out of water.” You spoke the words before you even realized it, feeling the consequences seconds later when Law hesitated to respond.

“I don’t like…” he paused and smiled into an evil smirk, like it was second nature, “I prefer women who have something I can hold onto.” 

You sat up with eyes wide in shock, and mouth agape. “But…” 

“What? I’m not allowed?” Law looked at you now, and you could swear there was something in his eyes. Something that you could get extremely familiar with. 

While you remained there speechless, Law finished on your leg. As he smoothed the bandages over the slice, you stared at his hands. 

“I’m done. Just make sure you take it easy for 3 days, unless you want it to reopen.” Law stood, turning swiftly and started to clean his tools and pack his equipment. 

“You don’t like Hancock at all?” You called out from the hospital bed.

“No. I like people with something to hold onto. Like you.” Law turned slightly, you could just barely see his face enough to tell he was being serious.

“Oh! Uhm!”

“I like people who have soft thighs I can use as pillows, people who have a belly for me to grab while spooning, people that have a butt and love handles. I like to grab them and watch…” 

Your eyes were wide, unsure of why he was telling you this and why he wouldn’t stop. 

“I like people who have meat on their bones. Plus when a person like that is drowning, only a real man can save them. I can lift you, and I can lift you when you're soaked too.” 

“Law I.. why are you,” you couldn’t think of the words you wanted to use, until Law interrupted.

“Why would I tell you?” You nodded fervently, “I’m telling you because I hope you’ll do something about it.” 

You stared at him, he seemed so far from you. He wasn’t at all but you felt weird trying to stand on your leg that was freshly patched. So you motioned for him to come over to you with your hand. 

“Why?” He was walking over as he spoke. 

“I have to tell you something..” you motioned for him to come closer, so he did. 

You again motioned for him to come closer, and he rolled his eyes but did again.

You leaned forward and closed the gap between you two, whispering to him “my type in men.. its men who are named Law.” 

He turned his head towards yours in shock, and you chuckled. He took the opportunity of the proximity and pressed his lips to yours. Your chuckle died in your throat, as you pressed back into him. 

It felt like magic. His lips were soft, and soo warm. You were convinced such a cold steely man would have a matching body. 

Then you realized, all this time. Law wasn’t cold, he was just caring in a different way. He had answered every question you had. He never put you down, and he seemed to like you the way you are. 

[uwukillmenowowo]

Part 2 of thr class 1a vs class 1b please!

I've had this in the very back of my inbox so WAUDBAKJWDBLAKWJBD

Hopefully I can get the requests done because DAMN- LOSING MY PREVIOUS DRAFTS WAS HEARTBREAKING-

.......... Gonna be honest- I had no clue what I was writing here.

COMPETITION Pt. 2

(Yandere BNHA X F!Reader!)

Chapter 1

Notes:

Reader/ [Y/n] will be female for the sake of ✨Cliche writing~!✨

[Y/n]'s quirk allows her to manipulate water Juvia Lockser style [I chose water because it goes well with a lot of the class's quirks]

[Y/n]'s personality is the classic "Naive, innocent, strawberry milk sweetheart"

I may have left out something but I forgot what it was... :(

I hope it's still good tho :)

Lately all your friends have been acting weird. They want to do stuff like hanging out with you more, have a spar, have a snack, study, stuff like that. At first you found it cute and spent time with whoever asked first... but now... things have become... rough.

{Your POV}

~~~~~

I hummed to myself as I continued to prepare dinner for me and my friends. Thankfully it was a Friday so we didn't have school tomorrow. "What'cha makin' there?" Tetsutetsu asked, standing beside me. "Oh- I thought I'd just make some chicken katsudon with curry." Tetsutetsu told me that it sounded good and asked if we could watch a movie too.

I agreed and told them that they could choose the movie and I heard them cheer. they also said that they were going to move some pillows to make a fort of blankets and pillows. 'How sweet.' I thought as my mind thought of me and my friends watching a movie with us all cuddled against each other for warmth.

{Third POV}

~~~~~

Meanwhile- in the ally where the others were, they were stuck in a stalemate. They kept moving around on the rooftops and allyways to not be seen by other civilians. But in return, they ended up in the ally right beside your house.

They couldn't really- fight because they know how much of a cautious/paranoid person you were. You would check outside just to check if it's a problem or if its a stray. how do they know this? Well duh- You're their obsession, of course they know everything about you.

"Truce..?" Monoma asked bitterly as he gazed towards your apartment and then to the others in 1-A.

Said students, (especially Bakugo) didn't like the idea. But considering that they were by your place. they agreed.

"Uraraka." Izuku whispered to the gravity user. She nodded before using her quirk to float her, Izuku, and Iida towards your door. Of course- the other 1-B students were a bit pissed but at the same time, what were they gonna do? If anything they knew that they might make fools of themselves.

'The girl is too energetic. The broccoli stammers too much and glasses is too strict. There's no way she'd prefer them over our class' Monoma thought and smirked. "Let's take out spots." Monoma told the others and started to go on his way to their "stalking spot"

{Your POV}

~~~~~

I chocked on my food as another jumpscare popped up. "why did you guys choose this movie!" I cried as I snuggled up against Shiozaki for comfort. She carefully wrapped an arm around my shoulder and nuzzled her cheek against mine. telling me that it'll be fine.

*Ding Dong*

"I'll get it." Kuroiro said and got up. the movie continued playing so I didn't see who was at the door. Until I heard the familiar sound of Iida loudly asking where I was and if it was even okay for the students from A-B to be here. I told Shiozaki that I'd be back in a bit and got up.

"Kuroiro?" I asked and stood by his side. There I saw three of my friends from 1-A. "Oh! Guys! What are you three doing here so late?" Izuku looked around nervously, Iida started speaking really fast so I didn't know what he was saying, and Uraraka just kept giving me a look of admiration.

"Well. how about you three come in. The others and I are just watching a movie." I pulled Kuroiro to the side to let in my friends.

It doesn't hurt right? The more the merrier!

Right?

Pt 3 or 4 might be the final one gang-

My brain just holds white noise and cobwebs

Like- My train of though we *Fwoop* and *Poof*

[panpanghost]

I can't believe it but part 3 of this :

_"Hey guys!" Monkey king jumped off his cloud and into the sand where the gang was waiting at the shore,

_"Monkey king! Are you okay?! Where's Macaque?!" MK asked worriedly,

_"Hey hey, easy budy. I'm as gorgeous as ever and Macaque is asleep." Wukong put his hands on MK's shoulders and he could feel MK relaxing after saying that,

_"Oh, that's great. Wait- asleep? Why is he asleep?" MK went back to his worry,

_"He was trying to find new info about the crown as well and stayed up for a couple of nights so I thought I'd just let him sleep."

_"he must be working hard... did he find anything?"

_"Unfortunately no."

_"Fiddle sticks... But don't worry! We found something! But thankfully it's wrong."

_"Why would you say that?"

_"Because if what we found is true, Macaque would've been dead by now." Mr. Tang added,

_"What?" it was almost a whisper, Wukong now understands why MK was so worried, "Ahem. Why? What did you find?" he asked hoping it's nothing serious,

_"Well, the scroll said it's 'the corrupted king's crown'. It's supposed to take over the person wearing it. Once under its control, they start to destroy everything around them until it absorbs all their energy... and soul..."

_"Well no need to worry. Macaque has healed nicely and hasn't used his powers to destroy anything, so maybe it's another crown or the information is badly translated." Wukong said smiling,

_"Really?! Oh that great!" MK felt relieved, so did everyone else, their faces finally lit up.

_"Show me the scroll and I'll look into it, maybe ask a few old friends."

_"of course, here." Mr. Tang gets the scroll out of his bag and gives it to him.

_"Now that that's out of the way, I feel so much more relaxed and super hungry, I'd love to eat some noodles." Mei said giving Pigsy a side eye and everyone else joined,

_"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!! I GET IT!" Pigzy snaps at her, well... if he's being honest, he's also hungry.

_"Do you and Macaque want to join us?" MK asks the monkey king before they started heading towards the ship to leave.

_"I don't think that's a good idea, kiddo. Staying here is safer for him." Wukong felt his heart squeeze when he saw MK's disappointed face, "Once he's all good, we'll go together and have a feast." he said and winked at MK, and it did make him a bit happier.

Once everyone left, Wukong opened the scroll. Damn it. It is the same crown... Is that why Macaque couldn't use his powers? Is that why he couldn't heal and needed my powers? Is that why he couldn't recover his memories? He did say that he feels pain in his entire body every time he tries to use them...

That's...

GREAT! So as long as Moonpie wears the crown he won't leave. But... the soul sucking part is worrying. He hasn't lost his mind yet so maybe the spell wasn't completed properly when whoever did this put it on him. I need to make sure that part is out of the way-

_"Wukong?" Macaque startled Wukong when he came from behind him,

_"Oh, peach! What are you doing here?"

_"I heard them leave so I came. Did they find anything?"

_"Sorry peach, they only thought they found something but it doesn't fit so we're back to zero."

_"Oh.. That's disappointing."

_"Hey hey, don't be sad, it's just a little set back, you'll be fine, I promise." Wukong hugged Macaque and gave him a little forehead kiss,

_"Yeh, I guess." Macaque said hugging Wukong back, "I just don't know what to do. I'm lost." Why...

_"Well, for starters, how about we take a long hot shower, and then I give you a little massage aaaaand maybe we can watch TV, there's a show I KNOW you're gonna love."

_"*sniff* yeh, that sounds good." Why are you lying?

_"yeh?" Wukong held Macaque's face in his hands, "You have nothing to worry about."

_"I know." Macaque said as Wukong wiped his tears, "I have you."

_"Yeh you do! Now let's go, we'll order some food as well."

_"oh I love that! Can we get some noodles?"

_"I'll get you whatever you want." You just have to stay with me and I'll give you the world.

_"I want a piggyback."

_"pffff, haha! Alright, get up here." he held him on his back and headed back home.

edit: part 4

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 20/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 21, PART 22

Like ketchup. Slowly then all at once.

Radioapple!

--------------------------------------------------

Lucifer still feels like he's underwater, floating where the current takes him. He thinks he's dreaming because his eyes refuse to open all the way.

At least he isn't burning anymore.

It's mostly quiet, the only sound he can hear is the sloshing of the water.

It's calm. He doesn't know how long has it been since he's been calm in the quiet without company.

Once in a while though, he hears voices. The waves carry them in weird intervals and he tries very hard to think who is talking.

'You'll be okay, Luci.'

'I'll do everything to make you comfortable and back to full health.'

'AN HONOR TO SERVE YOU, SIRE. DO GET BETTER. I SHALL GIVE YOU THE BEST SERVANT THE GOETIA CAN PROVIDE.'

'Big bro, if you wake up now, I'll give you a lifetime supply of my juice!'

'Okay fine, I'll change Looloo Land's name fo real, yeah?'

'You need to meet Fizzie still, Luci.'

'Don't worry sir! I didn't touch a single duck in your room when I cleaned it. No more bugs though!'

'Zestial and I give our deepest gratitude in behalf of the overlords, Your Majesty.'

'Charlie is a fast learner.'

'Oh, Your Majesty, do wake up. I don't think I can take any more of Alastor's not-rambling. I love me some romance but whooowee, a woman has her limits, yknow!'

'I don't think I can eva' thank ya enough fo' setting me free, short king.'

'Pretty badass, your kingness.''

'I want to get to know you still sir.'

'Darling, do come back to me now. I miss you so. And do not listen to any of Rosie's lies.'

'Dad, please wake up. I need you.'

The last voice caused the calm waters to turn into a whirlpool and he feels himself being pulled down. A bright light appears in front of him, illuminating the deep, dark waters. And for a moment, just a moment, he thinks- no it couldn't be;

He reaches out a hand to touch but as soon as it did, he was propelled to the surface.

Lucifer wakes up slowly and then all at once. The King blinks in confusion and trying to get his eyesight to clear. A blurry figure of white is the first to greet him; no face but it's smiling?

'Father?'

Charlie: Dad!

Huh?

Lucifer: Charlie?

He winces at the state of his voice. Did he scream himself sore? He tries remembering what happened and-

The roots.

Roo.

A ritual.

Charlie.

Hell.

Sloth.

Goodie.

The deal.

A prophecy.

A sudden pain stabbed his head which caused him to groan.

Lucifer: Shit!

He forces himself to sit up just to relieve it a little. A rubbing hand on his back grounds him a bit. Looking up, he came face-to-face with his daughter. His sweet, lovely, Charlie.

Charlie: Woah, Dad. Take it easy. Here have water and some pain meds. Aunt Bel left it here just in case.

He doesn't need to be told twice as he took the pill, noting the bitter taste in his mouth. Pride be damned (ha! get it?), he just wants the pain to go away.

Charlie is still fussing and talking a million miles per hour and Lucifer doesn't have the heart to make her stop even though his head is about to split in half.

Maybe Charlie will forgive him if he snaps right now. Thankfully that doesn't happen as a new person comes to enter his room.

Alastor: Charlie, dear, I think your father would appreciate a quieter room.

Charlie: - Oh, Al! Right! Sorry, dad.

Lucifer: It's okay, applepie. Can you also dim the lights a bit?

Alastor: Charlie, might I ask of you to get food for your father? There should be some leftovers still.

Charlie: O-oh I- Sure, Al! Be right back, dad!

As soon as she left, Alastor moves to Lucifer's bedside. Lucifer follows his movements and only then does the King realize the insane amount of flowers taking up every space in his room. And then he realized that Alastor has some in his hands too.

Lucifer: What's all this?

Alastor: Why, tokens from your loved ones and dearest citizens. These ones are of mine.

The Radio Demon points at the golden Marigolds. Lucifer observes the other flowers and sees that every bunch has atleast a few Marigolds tucked in them.

Did.. did Alastor put them there so he could have the most flowers given? What a possessive bastard.

His endearment must be obvious in his face because Alastor huffed- freaking huffed!

Alastor: Whatever you are thinking, it is simply nonsense.

Lucifer puts his hands up in a mock surrender.

Lucifer: I didn't say anything.

Alastor: Good.

Alastor can be so cute when he wants (or not want?) to be. His lover? partner? Yeah, partner, sits down by his side, letting Lucifer lean onto his shoulder.

He's not soft like Lilith but Lucifer feels just as content. The sin of Pride stares at his arms that is now covered in runes he doesn't understand, no longer just plain black. Roo really did a number on him- her powers were far too strong it basically altered his appearance. He's more demon now than he was ever an angel. He doesn't know how to feel about that.

Alastor: Some things are to be discussed, right, Your Majesty?

Lucifer: Mmm. Yeah. But- I can't. Not right now. I'm not sure if I can.

Alastor: That's alright, mon ange. We are not in a hurry. We have our afterlife.

Lucifer bites his lip and holds Alastor's hands in guilt. This is a burden he must carry himself. What's inside him... it would be more dangerous if anyone else knew, especially Heaven. It's better to think of it as a wild card than a ticking time bomb.

Alastor hums a tune that makes him sleepy again. He doesn't remember falling asleep but he does vaguely recall being laid down again. He remembers a feeling of a kiss on his forehead, something brushing his cheek and moving his hair.

A nice calm before the storm.

---------------------------------------------------

Charlie took so long cos she wanted to heat it up but the microwave is missing?? (Alastor's doing)

Next chapter, Luci will wake again and have a talk with Charlie

Just wanted to get some Radioapple in there.

[katuschka]

Olalla Chapter Six 2/2

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka

So, the second part of Chapter Six is here. Thank you for you patience.

7.148 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): shock, physical and emotional exhaustion, angst, language, homophobia, smut (retrospective)

If you like the story and want to get notifications, you can join the Taglist

Previous chapter Next chapter Olalla masterpost

You've been on your way

Please stay, please stay, please stay...

Don't go away

Part 2/2: Agnieszka, Zakopane

Agnieszka was dragged to the Emergency in spite of constantly insisting that she was completely fine, even though she could barely whisper those words at one point. Outwardly, she suffered just a few minor scratches, but her body gave out anyway. 

The initial shock subsided after several minutes, but even after her heart stopped racing and it was possible to breathe again, she was still weak and disoriented. Not having eaten anything since lunch the previous day – and that was just soup – she was exhausted, hypoglycemic and dehydrated, as she gave almost all her tea to Joshua to keep him warm.

After they gave her fluids and grape sugar and it was time to try to go down, she could still barely stand. They managed to descend two hundred more metres before the world around her started to spin and she sat down on a flat stone with a thud to prevent herself from falling. The rescue guys immediately offered to call another helicopter, but she stubbornly refused. She was fine. Other people might need it more. Lone wolves who lay somewhere alone and wounded, while their women were dying from worry at home. No more…

Moreover, she needed to keep moving to prevent herself from thinking. Thinking hurt more. Mentally, she was in that helicopter flying north, still holding him. She couldn’t stand the thought of him disappearing in the distance. 

With her father’s help, they managed to descend the transverse ridge and go as far as the crossroad in the middle of the upper valley before she finally admitted that she couldn’t go any further. Thankfully, together with several other sleep-deprived or lightly injured people who had spent the night on makeshift beds in Murowaniec, they were allowed to use the ski lift up to Kasprowy Wierch, there changing to the first cable car ride back down to Kuznice, where the ambulance was already waiting.

It was almost 10:30 when she got back home from the hospital, fearing the inevitable.

“I can call him,” Maya offered sympathetically. 

“No….” Even with a generous dose of vitamins and minerals now running through her veins, Agnieszka was still weak and tired, but resolute all the same, turning to Mama Bear again. Almost everything else had been taken care of and Maya’s husband and kids, who had also spent the night, were already waiting for her in the garden. It was her time to go back home. “No, I can do this. And I have to. Mom’s here. And dad. Don’t worry about me, I’m ok.”

Maya did worry. Still reluctant to leave, she made her sister strong tea with milk and honey first. When they hugged goodbye at last, she whispered in her ear: “Go to Krakow, Ninotschka. You used to be a happy and lively girl, but it’s been years since you were that person and I saw glimpses of her earlier this week. Don’t close those doors again. At least not yet.” 

No, not yet. Whatever would happen from now on, she would not be able to close those doors soon. Or ever again. She felt like she was standing out in the open air, exposed to wild elements and unable to find her way back to her old inner fortress. The place in which her melancholic soul now resided was a wild and unkempt garden, and he was the sun whose rays shone through the leaves, making it grow and keeping her warm. And just like the sun, he would disappear below the western horizon eventually. 

She’d been thinking about it while in the Emergency when they finally forced her to keep still, with her mind racing and shutting down in turns. He did this to her. The feeling was overwhelming, but not painful, just bittersweet. She needed to see him again, only if just to tell him. Who knows what would happen next. Maybe she would rot in the darkness, maybe another light would appear in her sky; but it was certain that she couldn’t go back. In fact, she dreaded that stale place now.  

She also dreaded the phone call, but it was her responsibility and it was inevitable. 

What was she supposed to tell him? Did Joshua tell him about what happened between them? Delivering news like this was never easy, but now she also thought it was completely her fault. Maya said he was stable and out of immediate danger, but drifting in and out of consciousness still. Thank god. It calmed her down a bit. 

It was ten past eleven now, which meant 4 a.m. in Nashville. Maybe she should wait until their morning, maybe she would even know more by then…no, this was important. Surely, he would be angry if he learned that she waited…

Standing behind the reception counter, she took a deep breath and dialed the number. 

“Yes?” 

“Hello, this is Agnieszka Sikorska. Am I speaking with Jake Kishka? I’m really sorry for waking you up, this is an em…,” her voice faltered. She swallowed and quickly continued, and it sounded almost hysterical this time. “This is an emergency!” Calm down, Agnieszka, for god’s sake! She had to sit down.

A brief pause, as he looked at the number again, and his apprehension grew, followed by the first wave of fear. 

“No, no…I’m, uh, still awake, actually. How can I …uh…help you?”

If Joshua’s voice was like crystallized honey, Jake’s was blackberry jam. Pleasant, calm and soothing, even though his own heart rate went through the roof the moment she said your brother. She tried to explain the situation quickly, while leaving out all the personal details. Not now. Still, he had to stop her a few times when she stuttered or stopped making sense, or when her accent became too incomprehensible due to her agitation. He even asked her if she was ok a few times, to which she always replied “just tired, don’t mind me.” 

He was clearly very upset himself; she could hear it in his own voice, but he remained kind to her, for which she was grateful. Both her body and mind couldn’t endure anything else, even though she assured Maya that she was fine. 

It was still the most exhausting call of her life, and she slid down in her chair with slight relief when it was over, noticing only then that she had used her personal phone. Fuck! Unprofessional! With her heart beating wildly again, she quickly texted him the official contact number, asking if he would use that one in the future if necessary. 

He didn’t. He kept using this number.

They texted a few times during that afternoon, mostly regarding his travel arrangements as well as some stupid bureaucratic shit, until one particular message made her heart skip a beat. 

JK: The doctor said it was you who found him.

It looked like a simple statement, but it felt like a question. She started panicking, not ready to disclose this part of the story with him just yet. It took her five minutes to come up with the most neutral response. 

AS: Yes, I was there before the mountain rescue arrived. 

She could see him writing something and stopping repeatedly and watched the disappearing and reappearing three dots fixedly until another message finally appeared on her display.

JK: Why?

Shit. Think Neszka, think…

AS: I’m a licensed mountaineer and a part-time guide. I decided to help after the storm when we lost contact. 

Waiting for his next message was excruciating. He clearly wrote and deleted a few sentences or at least words before he hit send. 

JK: OK.  JK: Will we meet? 

She couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was playing some sort of game of vigilance with her and it took all her remaining brain power to compose yet another professional and evasive reply about having to meet eventually because Joshua’s things were still in his room. He replied with another simple “ok” fifteen minutes later. 

Clearly, he had already suspected something and she just hoped that she extinguished the fire for now. Always having hated online communication, because so much was lost in translation, she thought it best to deal with this face to face when the time would come, and when she wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed and so on edge. 

The face… it suddenly occurred to her. While rubbing her temples to ease the headache, she pictured another chaotic, curly freak and the idea made her smile. Wondering if they had the same eyes and suddenly curious, she opened her laptop and typed both their names in the search bar. No, not curly. It was like opening Pandora’s box. It only added to the whirlwind she felt. 

She discovered a new version of Joshua. Several versions, actually. Cheeky, wild, flamboyant, moody. She had seen a few pictures already; they were included in that article. Nothing could prepare her for this, though. He was still there somewhere, his kind and frisky eyes still visible behind all that glitter and make-up. She knew this was probably mostly just gimmicks. A mask we all put on at work. Hers was a welcoming and competent servant. Some of it was however so far from what she knew that she made her ask herself if she really fully knew the man. His world was broad, and so was his whole personality that could fill the vast space. He came here to her ordinary corner of the planet and entered her ordinary life to pretend to be an ordinary guy for a while. It felt bittersweet. 

He took her breath away. She already knew. She had heard him. Yet she listened with her mouth open and her heart aching. He clearly had this power over people…making them ache for him. Even the people who couldn’t know him personally had that yearning written all over their hopeful faces, as he went down to hold their hands, or cheeks. Or to hug them, even. Silly girls. And boys. Agnieszka was an idiot too, but she had no regrets now. If she could ask for one more kiss, she probably would. Was it a good idea? Probably not. Did it matter? Not anymore. As long as he lived. 

It was pure, selfless love. It should have hurt, but strangely, it didn’t. It felt bittersweet. 

Bittersweet, bittersweet, bittersweet… That’s what it was. She felt mournful and strangely happy at the same time. 

Then there was Jake. It seemed like Mother Nature marveled at her creation and decided to split that miracle in two to give the world twice as much. They complemented each other. Like two celestial lights revolving around each other. It was fascinating to watch one play and the other respond. One high, the other low, or both hitting the same note, fighting for dominance under those stage lights, loud and frantic… 

She had to squeeze her eyes shut. The lack of sleep and exhaustion were surely playing tricks with her mind, because this couldn’t be possible. The other Joshua in her dream was never Joshua.   

She lost track of time, fully immersed in these new discoveries. Hours flew by and it was almost 5pm when her mother stormed into the lobby, startling her. Agnieszka jumped, taking her headphones off hastily, only to hear her mom furiously reproaching her for not taking proper care of herself. She was supposed to be in bed! Well, the doctor said… She hadn’t eaten anything yet. Again! Yeah, true, but I’m not hungry. She’s pale as a Grim Reaper. To be honest, I’m probably running on adrenaline only. I’m shaking a little. And…

“You stink! When was the last time you showered?”

The question made Agnieszka’s stomach do a backflip and she shivered at the memory. Just as she shivered when he pressed her against the tiles back up in that cottage on Gubalowka. She was involuntarily reliving it again. One hand placed between her forehead and the wet, slippery wall, the other reaching behind her to grab at his hair. Angry with him for how good he made her feel, she pulled at it until he wailed in her ear and bit her earlobe in retaliation. Unbelievably gentle one moment, he could turn to a fierce beast on the slightest impulse. It was a bit overwhelming. He didn’t know it, because he couldn’t see her face, but he made her cry. 

The fact that he made her feel cherished and worthy when he was selflessly making love to her in that pillowy bed wasn’t surprising. How could it be? Honestly, she expected he would be like that. Dominik was like that, and it was the reason why she both craved and dreaded getting physical with Joshua. She expected him to be the same, to be a sweetheart. And then, when it would be his time to leave, she expected that she wouldn’t even be able to be mad at him. Just as it was impossible to be mad at Dominik. When he died, she wanted to be berserk, to translate her pain into fury. If she could have just one more minute with him, she’d scratch his eyes out. 

And that was a lie. She’d just imagine doing that, knowing too well that he would kindly let her, and that’s why she’d never do it. A wolf while in the wild, he turned to a meek lamb when he was with her. She was treated like a doll, and also mourned like one. Meanwhile, the smouldering embers of her grief threatened to suffocate her from the inside. 

Her attempts to release that tension in the arms of other guys always worked for a while, but it never really healed her. At the end of the day, there was no one to tell her that everything would be ok, no one to stroke her hair or to kiss the tip of her nose. She tried to convince herself that she didn’t need it. And that was a lie…

Joshua was unpredictable and fierce. It was exactly this that took her breath away. Literally. With his left arm wrapped tightly around her waist, her every shallow inhale was laboured and further interrupted by his frantic pounding. She dared to fight back and he reciprocated every blow. She dug her fingernails in his forearm and he snaked his hand upwards to wrap his finger around her throat. She pulled his hair again and his next violent thrust pinned her to the cold and slippery wall. 

He opened that door, let the fresh air in and pulled her out of her self-induced confinement, all of that while taking what he wanted. But even when he was driven by this primal lust and ferociously chasing his own high, the tiniest hints and gestures kept silently screaming this is for you. A fleeting kiss on the back of her neck, his fingertips tenderly brushing over her shoulder, his nose rubbing against her cheek. He still made her feel like she mattered. Always. 

Always!

It happened just 48 hours ago, but it felt like weeks. Weeks without sleep, food or self-care. She didn’t realize she was drifting away, once again lost in her daydreaming, until she heard her mom’s suddenly soothing tone from behind her. She looked at the frozen screen with unconcealed concern and  wrapped her arms around Agnieszka’s shoulders. “Come one, Neszka, let’s clean you up. I made you some żurek.”

Clean, fed, and put to bed with freshly washed sheets, she slept until 9 in the morning the next day. The rest of the morning passed in a haze. She tried to clear her head simply by focusing on her usual tasks and responsibilities in spite of her mother’s constant laments that she should stay in bed and rest. How could she? They needed another pair of hands, as the new guests were about to arrive, and she also needed to keep herself occupied, otherwise she’d end up watching him again. Watching them again. The dream, simply strange at first, now gave her goosebumps every time she recalled it. 

It all felt like a dream. She was in love with a dream. The new day brought a new perspective and yesterday's whirlwind of emotions now descended on her shoulders like fine dust. So much had changed, but it didn’t feel bad. It was just different. After all, she wasn’t the same person he had found here. It was time to wake up. In order to do that, she had to see him again, to tell him, to give a proper goodbye this time. She had been living in a limbo for too long. 

She tried to call the hospital, but they were no longer willing to give her any information, because they were “already in contact with Mr. Kiszka.” The nurse – however – took mercy on her, telling her at least that he was going to be transferred to a regular, semi-private room the next day, where she would be able to visit him. That meant he was recovering quickly. Thank god.

No new messages from Jake. 

It started to rain later in the afternoon, and the rising wind that came with it brought a new sense of peace. Earlier that day, mom baked sweet rolls with new blueberries and Agnieszka now found herself sitting on the veranda with a cup of steaming coffee and nibbling at the delicious pastry. And thinking. 

She had spent the last two days rethinking her life, but it was mostly just a raving mess because she’d been raving mad. Yet, strangely, everything was true. 

As the proverbial fog in her head dissipated, her senses sharpened. The cool air felt crispy and soothing on her skin, the coniferous and mildewy scents of the wet garden filled her nostrils as well as her heart. She loved this. She loved the scented valleys and the towering peaks and the bubbling streams and the smell of sour dough and smoked cheese. This was home. She took a sip of the bitter liquid and smiled. Maybe love was not such a bad idea. She could still have children whom she would show all the wonders. She could bake blueberry pastries for them and walk along the ridges with them. 

Sudden footsteps disturbed her daydreaming. 

“Hey babe.”

Bartek sat next to her without being invited to do so, but she didn’t really care. She just glanced at him and then fixed her stare on the small spruces at the back of the garden again. 

“I’m sorry you’ve had such a…uh…rough week.”

“Uh huh…”

“So…feeling better? Do you want a smoke?”

“Yeah, a bit. And no, but thank you.” She noticed a squirrel running across the garden and it made her smile again. 

“Could you at least look at me? I’m sorry for having been such an asshole, ok?. I brought you something.” 

She could feel him placing something in her lap and looked down to see a heart-shaped chocolate box. It made her snicker. What a cringy gesture. It was rude of her, but she didn’t care. “And what the hell is that?”

“A peace offering. I figured you liked presents, and maybe you would like a distraction too, hmm?” he answered and put the dishevelled strands of her hair back behind her ear. It felt invasive and humiliating all of the sudden, both his words and gestures, and she had to bite her lower lip to keep herself from splashing the still hot coffee right in his face. She had brought this upon herself though. 

“Get lost Bart,” she sighed. “You can’t buy my affection with chocolate, you did things that cannot be fixed with your apologies and I definitely don’t need nor want that kind of distraction right now.”

“What? You’re a dyke now? Certainly worked when he tried to buy your “affection” with trinkets. Did his rainbow jizz fuck up your brain?” 

It made her jump up on her feet, while tossing the box unceremoniously back at him. Pity they never really talked much. If she had known what a blinkered prick he was, she would never let him touch her with a mere tip of his finger. Maya had known all along. “Get out of my sight before I kick your ass!” 

He watched her with a crooked smile and cleared his throat before responding. “Hmm, yeah, as I said, you’re just a bitch. Great for business. Your only advantage is that you’re pretty, but that won’t last long, baby. You’re getting older. This is the last time we’re here. Expect some hearty reviews.” With that, he slowly got up and turned to leave.

“Oh I’m heartbroken,” she called after him. 

The darkness swallowed her newfound piece and the morning sun didn’t bring it back. It was Saturday, which meant she would be able to see him at last, which meant her heart started beating fast the moment she opened her eyes and anxiety came creeping back. She even started rethinking her previous resolution to go to Krakow. 

Still no new messages from Jake. He was keeping her in the dark and she didn’t dare to call or text him. There was no objective reason to do so, and the subjective ones still scared her. Maybe going as soon as possible would ensure her a valuable moment of privacy with Joshua before Jake would arrive. 

And maybe it was a bad idea. 

It was early, so she resumed her usual routine as the work was still the best way to fight off the oppressive feelings that lay heavy on her chest. She was just changing sheets in one of the just vacated rooms and her father appeared in the doorway. 

“Are you going?”

She turned around to look at him and smiled weakly. “I’ve been thinking about it, but I have no new information and no one from his family contacted me since Thursday afternoon. Maybe I should wait. Besides, it’s Saturday and you need my help.”

He nodded his head and straightened his moustache. “Yes, that sounds reasonable…”

There was a bit “BUT” hanging in the air and she raised her eyebrows at him. He chuckled and continued. “But we’re not a reasonable lot. Your grandmother would tell you that you’re just avoiding your fears and you know she would be right.”

And that was the truth. 

“It doesn’t change the fact that you need my help. A large group from Estonia is arriving today.” She was stubborn, but she was also his daughter and he didn’t budge. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll have Maya on the phone. Go. Just don’t tell mom. She already thinks you lost your marbles.” The moment he disappeared from the doorframe, whistling his favourite tune, her phone vibrated. 

JK: Miss Sikorska, we just landed in Krakow. Please contact me when it’s convenient. 

It was from Jake and it was strangely formal. She would swear he called her by her name when they first talked on the phone. Ok, let’s get this over with. Time to go and face them both. She sighed and slid her phone back in her jean shorts pocket before she finished the task at hand and went back to her room to get ready. 

The morning had been a bit chilly after yesterday’s storm, but the sun soon warmed the air enough to justify wearing a longer sundress, which she complemented with white canvas sneakers. 

The ride was anything but pleasant. She could feel the unpleasant cocktail of adrenaline and cortisol poisoning her body slowly, making her feel like there was lye running through her veins instead of blood. She was already nearing Krakow when her phone chimed with another text from Jake.

JK: We need to talk.

It made her suck air through her gritted teeth. So he was already there and it looked like they already talked. What more was there to tell? Maybe Joshua couldn’t remember what really happened and his brother needed the whole story. Yeah, probably. Then she remembered their phone call from a week ago which she partly overheard. Given the circumstances, having another affair that ended in him being in a hospital probably didn’t impress Jake much, either. The intrusive thoughts that it was all her fault came creeping back again, and she tried to shake them off, but her heart kept beating faster the closer she got. Ten minutes later, she finally parked the car, but it took her ten more to get out, clutching the steering wheel nervously. 

The walk through the hospital corridor was a long one, her feet clapping against the floor in spite of the fact that she wore just sandshoes. It felt like she was announcing her arrival exorbitantly. She stopped by his door, hesitating for a moment. Only after a passing nurse asked her if she needed help, she finally raised her hand and knocked three times. 

“Come in,” a friendly, woman's voice answered. Agnieszka slowly opened the door and peeked inside. Noticing the other patient first, she greeted him with a hushed and bashful Dzień dobry, before she stepped inside and looked around. “Hey, I’m…” The room fell quiet immediately. And it was…crowded. Her eyes fell on Joshua first. His expression was unreadable. There was a mixture of amiability and sadness in his eyes, and his jaw clenched. A kind-looking woman, who was undoubtedly his mother, greeted her with a friendly and polite, yet reserved smile. Then there was Jake, looking first at his brother, then at her, watching her as if she was a wasp that just flew into the room, and… her stomach sank the moment she saw him in the farthest corner. A taller man in a linen shirt with rolled-up sleeves that revealed his toned arms, decorated with beaded and woven bracelets, his dark hair tied in a messy low bun. He looked at her with polite confusion and she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes were. His features were just as baby face as Joshua’s, but overall a bit more distinctive. He looked indigenous. There was no denying who he was. She suddenly wished she possessed the ability to vanish into thin air. This was a terrible mistake. A complete lack of judgement on her part. Maybe she really was losing her marbles. What if Joshua in fact didn’t want her here at all. The possibility hadn’t occurred to her for one second, and now she felt completely and utterly stupid. Fuck!

Jake was the first one to approach her and extended his hand formally. “You must be Agnieszka. Pleasure to meet you,” he greeted her, while still looking like he’d rather eat glass. “It would be much more pleasurable if you informed me beforehand. Just like I did,” he added with a hiss, forcing those words through his clenched jaw. 

“Jake!” 

It always surprised her how much power Joshua’s voice held. Ever when his tone was outwardly calm, it oozed dominance. He sounded unnaturally hoarse right now and he looked so frail on that hospital bed, but it didn’t stop him from taking the reins. She desperately wanted to run to him and pull him in a tight embrace, but she knew she couldn’t. To her relief, he extended his hand and motioned her to come closer. Jake returned back to his place by the window and put on his sunglasses, which surprised her and her astonished reaction was met with a pout. 

Joshua took her hand in his and turned to the woman sitting to his left, which made her feel even more uneasy…if that was even possible. “Mom, this is Olalla, the girl who found and saved me.” A bit melodramatic. I didn’t save you. He smiled at her and his mother mirrored him, asking her to tell them more about what really happened. 

She tried. Omitting the details that were not to be told in that room, she tried to explain everything from the moment they noticed he was missing to the arrival of the mountain rescue. In the meantime, Joshua tried to tell her something with just his eyes and it didn’t escape Christopher’s attention. He looked at her, then back at Joshua, and his face turned to stone. Jake noticed too.

“I think we’ll just go get your stuff now, Josh. What do you think, Miss Sikorska?” 

Josh cast him a wary look and Jake reciprocated. They glared at each other for a few seconds before he continued: “It’s a bit crowded here, and I’m sure you’ll appreciate having your stuff back. We’ll be back soon.” With that he motioned to Agnieszka to follow him out the door. She couldn’t refuse. 

Only when they were a safe distance from Josh’s room, walking side by side down the long corridor that led to the main staircase, he continued: “When you called, you somehow forgot to mention how well you two know each other.”

She swallowed hard. “It wasn’t relevant.”

“I think it is.” 

He didn’t say anything else until they got in the car, and it felt longer than the whole ride there.It was excruciating, and he seemed as if he reveled in it. Still hiding behind his shades, hands in his pockets, he was driving her crazy with his aloof demeanour. They shared similar features, yet each one of them had such a unique personality that they didn’t seem like twins at all.   

When they exited the parking lot, he spoke again. “So, you fucked him, huh?” It wasn’t a question, so she didn’t bother answering. 

“Well, you can’t blame me for being surprised,” he added after a while. 

Focusing on driving was becoming harder the more she felt his eyes on her. “I don’t. To be honest, I still don’t understand why he was ever interested in me.” She kept her eyes on the road, not daring to look at him. The past tense was a deliberate choice. She wanted to let him know she knew her place. He passed that over in silence. 

“Well, I do. You’re an exceptionally beautiful woman, if you don’t mind me saying that, and my brother has a weakness for beautiful things.”

That made her look at him, just to see him grinning at her. Without being able to see his eyes, she couldn’t tell what he was really up to, so she tried to lighten the mood a bit. It was a feeble attempt, but worth a try. “Are you hitting on me?”

It made him burst out laughing. “Is it working?”

“No.”

Then I’m not.” 

After another moment of silence, he put the sunglasses off and looked directly at her. “But I do make you nervous. Why?”

She clutched the steering wheel. So many reasons; none of them she could possibly tell him. “I’m aware that you don’t like me. It’s pretty obvious. And I understand why, because I clearly overstepped. I repent, ok?”

“Fair enough.” 

After a while, he pointed at the phone on her console. “Any pictures in there? Or, perhaps, videos?”

“No!” He was making her blood boil now.

“You should know that…”

“I know who he is, I know who you are, and I know what happened…”

“Well, that’s the point…”

“No, it’s not! I didn’t know until Tuesday! And I know now only because he told me!” Well, that’s almost true. 

“Really!?”

Yeah, really, you fucker. Believe it or not, it was not just fucking. “Look, I’m not stupid. I knew from the start that this would be just a temporary fling.” She cringed at the word she used. A greater part of her adulthood was filled with temporary flings, and this was not that. To be honest, she didn’t know what to call it.  “I don’t want anything from him, from you, from anyone… All I want now is to talk to him. I need to…I need to thank him.”

“For…”

“None of your business,” she quickly interrupted him and he cleared his throat to retaliate, his nostrils flaring, so she quickly added: “I’m sorry, it’s just deeply personal. Believe it or not, we shared more than just bodily fluids.”

Jake scoffed, cleared his throat and looked out the side window at the hills that appeared on the west. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing.” She didn’t counter that. 

They went silent again for another few minutes before she mustered enough courage to ask: “So…they’re back together?” 

“We arrived just two hours before you appeared there,” he looked at her as if she was dense, then added: “But I’m hopeful they will.” 

Agnieszka took a deep breath and bit her lip. Bittersweet, bittersweet, bittersweet. He deserves it.  “That’s good. I’m glad.” 

Jake cast her another wary side glance but didn’t say anything. After several more excruciating minutes, she broke the silence one more time. “I need to talk to him. In private, I mean.”

“Not the best time.” 

“I figured…maybe another day?”

“Maybe.” Jake was evidently a man of a few words. He was definitely not willing to make it any easier for her. She couldn’t blame him though. He must have thought her an intruder, and that’s exactly what she was, to be honest. That man was from his world. She would never be. 

When they arrived, she ushered him straight to Joshua’s room. As they went up the stairs and he took his glasses off again, she noticed how worn and distressed he really looked. “Umm, do you need anything? Tea? Coffee? You must be hungry, too. I can make you a supper if you want.”

“That’s kind, thank you, but I’m good,” he replied wearily as they reached the final landing. She nodded and unlocked the door.

“So, here it is. I’m going to go wait in the lobby.” The room was just as Joshua left it on Wednesday morning. Entering the guests’ rooms was against the rules unless they specifically asked to have them cleaned, so she didn’t date to pack his stuff. Not that she hadn’t broken the rule before when she went there to fetch his clothes for him, but Jake didn’t need to know that. 

The attic room was small and the air in it a bit stifled after days with the only window closed. As soon as she opened the door, they were welcomed with the unmistakable scent of him: his unwashed clothes from previous days mixed with his sweet, oriental cologne. It was too much, and she excused herself quickly when her stomach turned into a knot. He had left such an imprint here, and now it was finally over. No time left for them.

Jake didn’t bother with folding Josh’s clothes, he just threw them into the suitcase in bundles, just as he picked them up from the floor, or chairs, or the bed. He wanted to spend as little time as possible in that place. Opening the upper, half closed drawer of a large wooden dresser, where Josh had put his underwear, he found his journal thrown casually on a pile of socks. 

He was usually allowed to read those pages; he had done that many times before. Granted, it was generally with Josh open permission, but still. They had no secrets between them. Until recently. Obviously, a lot had happened here during just one week and Josh hadn’t called just once since last Saturday. So, naturally, Jake was curious. He sat down in the bed and opened the notebook. 

The first thing he noticed were new, revised lyrics to a song they had written together two weeks ago. It was a very personal piece, for both of them. Sad, too. But the ending was supposed to be hopeful, just like Tears of Rain. And that’s how Josh wrote it at first. But then he completely changed it, and now the last verse was just pure misery and doom. Was it really worth it to come here, alone? Are you happier now, brother? 

He turned the page to the last entry and his jaw clenched as he started reading his brother’s rambling about needing a break and having to step away to evaluate shit. 

The new album was out and plenty of work ahead of them. It was bad enough that Jake now had to have the whole leg of an upcoming tour canceled, but learning about Josh’s plans to leave the band for a while was the last straw. Well, you can’t, you fucker. We have a contract. However, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t. Josh never cared about things he was forced to do, which would mean that everything would go in vain, because he’d ruin it anyway with his blatant indifference.

Now it was Jake’s turn to feel hopeless, but as he always preferred anger to misery, he chose to be livid instead, quickly turning his fury towards the only person whom he illogically decided to be responsible for all that shit. She looked like a veela, and she undoubtedly was one, both enchanting and deadly! Fucking bitch! 

He quickly packed the rest of Josh’s things and stormed downstairs, only to find her arguing with a bunch of guys. Still on the stairway, he saw her slap the face of the one that stood nearest to her, and as soon as he entered the lobby, all eyes turned to him. She looked shaken, the guy next to her greeted him with a venomous glare and his two buddies looked at him from head to toe and smirked.

“Ach, I see, Olalla. You’re quick!” one of them said loudly in English and sneered. He turned to Jake then, resting his eyes on Jake’s nearly unbuttoned shirt.  “Probably had to try the other one, because his brother’s limp dick…” 

He didn’t even realize what he was doing until his fist collided with the guy’s chin. Soon he felt another blow reverberate the bones of his own jaw and the impact made him bite his tongue in surprise. Agnieszka was shouting something, but he didn’t understand and he didn’t care, being locked with someone else’s body and thrown against a table a moment later. Whatever she screamed, it clearly worked, as they quickly left the two of them alone. 

Spitting blood, he slowly straightened, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and spat at her: “I’ve had enough!” 

“Jake, please...”

“I’m Mr. Kiszka to you. I’m taking an uber back to Krakow. Or a taxi …or whatever you got here. I just need a phone number.” 

So that’s how it was going to end. He told her she was not welcome, and snapped the last feeble thread that she was holding onto. It was definitive, and it would all end without the only thing that really kept her sane – the closure she so desperately needed. “Alright…?... but it’s over 100 kilometres. I can drive you back…I…,” she offered, her voice already trembling.

“There’s no need. Just give me the number.” His voice was cold and his face looked like a stone. She desperately searched it for clues, but if there were any, they were hidden behind his shades that he put back on. The silence he kept felt like a roar that rattled her bones. This was turning into a nightmare, but she functioned on autopilot, turning around to get one of the leaflets they had prepared for their guests. She handed it to him with shaking hands. 

“Thank you for everything Miss Sikorska. Your services are no longer needed.” With that, he grabbed the handle of Josh’s suitcase, turned to the door and left. 

Mom found her sitting in the corner behind the counter an hour later. 

The sun was already setting when Jake arrived at the hospital, finding his mother sitting on a bench in the hall outside Josh’s room.

“Mom? What are you doing here?” They were allowed in Josh’s room this late only because the other patient agreed. Having travelled around the world to see their son and brother was a rather convincing argument. Nevertheless, wandering around the corridors wasn’t exactly part of the deal. 

“I just needed a minute,” she sighed, stretching her legs before her. She looked unnaturally pensive, just like when she worried that he wouldn’t graduate and pleading or yelling at him no longer worked. 

“Why? Something happened?”

Ignoring his question, she glanced over his shoulder. “Where’s the girl?”

Ok, whatever this was, it was not good. He must have told her and that probably meant she wasn’t the only other person who knew. “I took a taxi. She stayed in Zakopane. Whyy…?”

“Was it her decision?”

He looked in her eyes and felt like a little boy again. This wasn’t right. She should be on his side. He did the right thing. “No…”

“Oh Jake…”

This was bad. He had a BAD feeling. What did the idiot do?! Ignoring his mom’s feeble attempts to stop him, he sprinted into Josh’s room, bursting the door open and earning a string of incoherent reproaches from Josh’s room mate. Josh was sitting cross-legged on his bed with his head bent down, examining his palms as if they held the answers to his questions or something. He looked up slowly, a bewildered expression on his face. His eyes were dry, but still red and puffy. It was quite obvious that he had been crying. A lot. But most importantly, he was alone. “Where’s Christopher?” 

“I…he…is Olalla coming?” Josh’s tone was feeble and strangely monotonous, almost stripped of all colour. He was emotionally exhausted to the point of being almost indifferent. 

“Answer my question!” Jake was already raising his own voice, ignoring their mom who grabbed him by the shoulders from behind, trying to shush him. He gripped the top rail of the second chair to keep himself grounded, but his pursed lips and flared nostrils told Josh there was a storm raging behind his brother's cold appearance. 

Josh could feel another wave of nausea gripping at his insides. The headache was slowly creeping back again and he had to take a few deep breaths first, while Jake kept looking daggers at him. “I…well, he’s not stupid! He kinda figured what’s going on, Jake. Not that I denied anything, I couldn’t do that…,” he tilted his head back down as another sob ripped through his chest. “He’s probably on his way to the airport right now.”

Jake punched the wall, oblivious to the fact that Josh’s roommate was holding his remote, already alarming the nurses. “You’re a fucking idiot!”

“Why? Is Neszka mad? I need to tell her what I told him. I need to be sincere with her too.” 

Jake just scoffed, shaking his head while still gripping the backrest. 

“WHERE’S OLALLA, JAKE?!?”

“She’s not coming.” 

Josh watched him for a few seconds, his face slowly turning from angry to hopeless. He heaved then, and only managed to lean over the bed before he threw up on the floor.

@its-interesting-van-kleep @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @thewritingbeforesunrise @lvnterninthenight @fleet-of-fiction @takenbythemadness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @love-isnt-greed @klarxtr @kiszkas-canvas @wetkleenex-gvf

[sasukeless]

please don't kill me but genuine question about sns (disclaimer that i've only seen the anime, not read the manga, shameful ik): in shippuden, naruto's attachment to sasuke felt sooo forced to me at first because it looked extremely one-sided and i resented naruto a lot because he acted like sasuke was the same as he was before he left and was projecting/in denial rather than seeing sasuke as his own person with agency and who had different ideals/methods. Obviously things were put in a different light when we eventually learn about the indra and ashura, and the reincarnation/soulmate thingy but idk it never erased that first impression for me, despite sns connection being obvious at the end i still disliked naruto as a character. So would really appreciate your perspective on this!

lol i won’t kill you, it’s fine.

tbh i just think this all to me seems like you got stuck in early shippuden naruto characterization and like i cant remember how it’s in the anime (thankfully) but in the manga is pretty clear that.Yes, naruto attachment to sasuke looks one sided then and it is intentional!! kishimoto wrote that on purpose. same with naruto not being able to see that sasuke is different. i always joke a lot how at the beginning of part 2 naruto has deluded himself to believe sasuke leaving for orochimaru was almost like a kidnapping where he’s convinced he has to save sasuke like a damsel in distress from the tower he was locked in. which ofc while orochimaru basically groomed sasuke to seek him, sasuke still is not being held captive (and actually he’s planning to kill orochimaru and take his autonomy back). but the point is that Naruto starts to realizes he’s never gonna get sasuke back like that and after jiraiya’s death he understands a little more why sasuke would choose revenge too. idk why you mean by forced tho because to me naruto’s obsession w sasuke is one of the most natural thing to come from him. traumatizing kid latching himself to the first person that showed him love and refusing to let go it’s pretty realistic. imo this obsession also it’s what humanizes naruto the most. he wants to save sasuke because he doesn’t want sasuke to suffer but he also Needs to save sasuke because he’s pretty codependent on him emotionally and needs him by his side for his own goals and life to have meaning. it’s a pretty selfless and selfish trap he’s in.

back to the whole one sided thing. once again this is pretty intentional. kishimoto hides sasuke’s feelings for naruto, most of his arc in part 2 he only leaves small pieces here and there but nothing as grand because he wanted to make the big reveal at vote 2 where we finally get to know that sasuke had developed a similar attachment to naruto since childhood but deals with it completely different (since they have complete different perceptions of love). the whole point of this is that it should recontextualizes their entire dynamic again because now you’re aware the same feelings of yearning and love naruto had for sasuke that lead him to chase him for years and become unhealthy obsessed were mirrored by sasuke and because his different view of love this is why sasuke kept running away.

anyway idk if this will help or not but yeah i still recommend the manga

[lady-harrowhark]

If anyone remembers/still cares about my bizarro jaw bone spur debacle from this summer, I have an update for you! I'm fine now, this is all past tense, but probably don't read this if you don't want to hear about dental/bone stuff.

So to recap, earlier this summer I felt some irritation in my mouth and when I checked it out in the mirror, there was a tiny little off-white shard of something sticking out of my gums on the inside of my lower molars. I figured it was a little piece of food that poked me, but when I touched it, it 1) was hard and sharp, 2) would not move, and 3) hurt so bad that it about knocked the wind out of me. Even in the moment I knew this sounded dramatic and highly improbable, but I was immediately Very Sure that it was a little shard of bone.

By the next morning it was so swollen that I couldn't see if it was still there, and after four or five days I ended up calling around and found a dentist who could get me in to take a look because my usual dentist at the student health center didn't have any immediate openings. By that point I was taking Tylenol + ibuprofen around the clock as well as using Orajel numbing gel and icing it, but nothing was touching the pain. Also, the side of my face and down into my neck was starting to swell, and sleeping and eating was extremely difficult due to the pain.

The dentist I ended up seeing was very friendly and pleasant but ultimately pretty dismissive. Nothing showed up on an X-ray but he could see a spot of "hyper-irritation" where I'd had the little shard, and he said it was possible that a "bone spur" worked its way out through my gums. Usually that only happens after oral surgery or an injury, but I'd also had a dental cleaning a few weeks prior that was weirdly aggressive and left that part of my gums bleeding and sore for several days, so it was possible that was enough to dislodge something left over from when I had my wisdom teeth removed years and years ago. Or maybe it was just a little cut. He then told me to alternate the Tylenol and ibuprofen instead of taking them simultaneously and to call back in two weeks if it wasn't better or if it started getting hard to eat or sleep. I reiterated that it already was hard to eat and sleep, and asked if I was understanding him correctly that he wanted me to take LESS pain medication. He paused, and then said to call back in one week if it wasn't better.

So obviously I went out to my car and cried. I have a very skewed pain tolerance from a lifetime of chronic illness experiences and I'm a very smiley and friendly person in general, so I do acknowledge that I don't usually LOOK like I'm in pain, especially to someone who's only just met me. But for me, the fact that I even made an appointment for it is a giveaway that this is like, off the charts levels of pain. I called my dad since he's a doctor and he was able to prescribe some antibiotics for me just in case, and walked me through how to adjust the ibuprofen dose to be the equivalent of prescription strength. I'd decided that if it wasn't any better by the next day, I was going to urgent care. Thankfully it was a smidge better, and over the next maybe two or three weeks it mostly went away, although for while I could still feel sort of a divot on my gum where the bone spur had been.

ANYWAY yesterday I had my regular dentist's visit, the first time I'd been in since then. I told the hygienist about it, and she seemed kind of alarmed, especially because she could also still feel the little spot on my gum. The dentist ALSO seemed pretty shocked and could feel where it was as well.

So here's the update: I apparently have a little bit of extra bone built up around my back lower molars, which is unusual but not unheard of, and mine is very very mild in comparison to what you see when you Google "mandibular tori" - mine is really just that it's slightly rounded or mildly bowed right below my molars rather than going straight down to the bottom of my mouth as is typical, minor enough that no dentists have ever mentioned it to me. I never even realized that wasn't what everyone's were like until this spring when a massage therapist I saw for TMJ stuff mentioned that she noticed it. So in general that's not any sort of issue for me, EXCEPT that the dentist yesterday said that the gum tissue can be pretty thin where it has to stretch over the extra bone, which can also be kind of pointy or sharp.

Given that plus the fact that I hadn't had any sort of recent injury or surgery in the area like you would expect for a bone spur, she said it was more likely that I somehow scraped or cut the gum right down to the bone.

It wasn't a bone spur. That was my literal, actual jaw bone showing through my gums.

[nburkhardt]

Saw this post and couldn’t get it out of my mind :)

His tattoos don’t even cross his mind when he takes his sweater off, too focused on knowing that he’s the only one that could handle swimming to check for a gate. Hoping that for once Dustin’s wrong.

It’s not until Nancy’s using her shirt to wrap around his middle that he remembers, “fuck, did they eat the sunflower?”

All three of them stare at him and in that moment he also remembers, no one knows about his tattoos. The only other person that knows about any of them is the artist who did them and he’s all the way in Indianapolis, probably working on a new design for him.

“Where’s the sunflower?” Eddie breaks him out of his thoughts, “because it seems like those bats just went to town on you. And you have some serious road rash on your back”

He doesn’t have to move far, the sunflower is or maybe was on his left side on the ribcage, fallen petals going down towards his hips. Pointing towards it, he watches as Eddie looks and his eyes wander across his chest. There’s a broken crown sitting on his collarbone, hopefully at least.

“Uh, well, the sunflower has some damage, sorry to say, though that crown is fine. Any, uh any other tattoos?” Eddie tells him and there’s something in his voice that he can’t quite place.

He nods and turns around, there should be an image of the nail bat on his shoulder blade with the lyrics from Mad World, “the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had” wrapped around it.

It’s probably not the best time to worry about the tattoos and should probably worry about the fact that they’re stuck in the upside down but his brain can’t stop focusing on the things that kept him from freaking out for the last three years.

“Woah! That’s metal as all hell, some of the words got a little scraped. But still there”

Eddie’s voice brings him back to the moment and he’s thankful the nail bat is still there. He sees Robin and Nancy talking and then before he knows it, pulling him and Eddie along to who knows where. His focus on the tattoos fade away and in place is just pain from his whole body.

Once they reach top-side again, his tattoos aren’t on his mind. The pain from the bites and road rash is the only thing he’s processing. Not processing that the kids are staring at him both in worry and curiosity because they didn’t know about the tattoos and the sunflower is peaking out from under the makeshift bandage and the broken crown is on display.

Thankfully Nancy gets everyone moving. He gets cleaned up and bandaged with actual bandages. They plan, steal a Winnebago, buy weapons and before Steve knows it, they’re back in the upside down and he’s telling Eddie and Dustin to not be stupid.

After it’s officially over, they’re in the hospital for several reasons. Max’s broken legs and arms, Dustin’s ankle, Eddie’s bites and Steve’s own bites. But it’s over and everyone is safe, that’s all Steve cares about really.

He gets cornered by Robin, and it’s not really cornered since he’s stuck in a hospital bed already. “Ok Dingus, now you’ll be explaining how the hell you managed to keep this a secret from me!”

Shrugging, because he doesn’t know exactly how to explain this. Especially since his brain is feeling like mush with the drugs they have him on. “I like tattoos” is all he says and then promptly falls asleep. He has good reason for it, there’s plenty of time to talk when he’s not high on pain meds.

~

I’m gonna leave it there because I’m lost on how to continue right now. I’ll definitely come back to it to do a part two of the actual conversations and why, how & when Steve got the tattoos. Here’s a better understanding of what they are tho:

Sunflower with fallen petals on his ribcage, the only one with color (his favorite) A broken crown on his collarbone (represents fallen King Steve, this was the first tattoo) The nail bat with lyrics from Mad World on his shoulder blade, “the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had” wrapping around it. Not mentioned because it hasn’t happened yet in the fic, he has a d20 (for Dustin) tattoo planned and a copy of one of Robin’s doodles from her shoes. (He’s a sentimental guy? Okay?!)

@i-less-than-three-you @artiststarme @imfinereallyy (hopefully you don’t mind I used your idea, I couldn’t get the post outta my head)

[nerdieforpedro]

The Lake Between Us - Part One

The Nurse who's frayed at the seams

Ezra AU x plus size OFC (Nickname Moonbeam - has a name in later parts)

This fic is for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 868

Warnings: insomnia, alcohol use, anxiety, mutual voyeurism, brief mentions of death, cancer and post-mortem care

Notes: My first series with Ezra! It's been fun writing this and therapeutic for me. I envision the setting to be on a bayou in Louisiana with the weeping willows and slow waters. Plus I wanted Ezra to have an air boat. ☺️ I'm not sorry for anything.

Main Masterlist / Ezra Masterlist / The Lake Between Us Series

It’s fine during the day, the rapid fire and thinking quickly on your feet. It’s what makes you good at what you do. Able to keep so many details straight while answering questions about six patients and more if you’re keeping an eye out on another nurse’s assignment while they’re at lunch.

It’s why it bothers you so much. You’ve taken your medications. Stopped looking at your phone an hour before bed. The room was pitch black before bed and the white noise machine was going. You even took your shower earlier than normal because apparently a nice warm shower doesn’t promote sleep according to the experts. You personally found warm water relaxing, isn’t that why tea is good before bed?

One of them needs to come to your house and see why you’re not sleeping.

It’s three a.m. You’ve at least gotten five hours of sleep. Enough to function. You’re awake in this darkness though and you’re well acquainted with it. There’s one thing you can do that will at least relax you now. You’ve done it the last few weeks despite all these changes to your sleep hygiene and routine. 

Your legs are over the side of the bed and carry you to your back door where your yellow crocs are. It’s off the back of the kitchen so you grab some rum and mango juice. A chair you bought when you went to an antiques show with some friends sits on your back porch and you plop down. It rocks and that helps your nerves slightly. Your large thighs press into the sides of the rocking chair but not painfully. The periwinkle sleep shorts you have are matched by the camisole that has bunched up at the bottom exposing the pooch of your stomach.

The crickets are loud and there are even some lightning bugs about dotting around the tall grass that surrounds the lake in the middle of your backyard. The lake is connected to an estuary that your neighbor across the way often drives his airboat off in. Thankfully the water is at least slow moving to it only attracts but so many bugs, but that’s also why you’ve taken to lighting a lavender eucalyptus candle when you come outside on the porch. Ironic considering the very same scent that keeps various insects away is supposed to lull you to sleep and it does not. You’ve never met the man. Only seen him on his back porch.

You know very little about him, not even his name. He’s at least your age, if not older. Tall and broad with sun-kissed skin from working during the daylight hours you assume or it could be his natural skin tone. His hair is brown except for a gray or blonde patch in the front. From what you’ve seen, he has a patchy beard that could have gray or more blonde and a wicked smile. It’s then that he emerges from his abode the same as you. He has something to drink as well. Usually he’s wearing a t-shirt or tank top but it’s balmy this morning so he’s shirtless in some loose shorts. You’re not sure if they’re for sleep or lounging. There looks to be some definition to his chest as he takes in the night air. He looks up after pouring himself a glass of something that might be brown, it’s hard to see from here and it’s dark. The man’s limbs are weighted down like yours are. Could his thoughts be running a mile a minute as well? What would lead him to be on his porch too? Is he alone like you? Shouldn’t he have someone warming his bed? Given how he looks from here, he shouldn’t have any issue in that department. Maybe it’s by choice, but why would he choose to? Divorced? Separated? Recent break-up? Maybe a fight with someone and they’re letting each other stew…

Planning different scenarios for the day, reviewing what you’ve seen, the care you’ve provided the people you encountered. Today you discharged a patient home, consulted one where the doctor sort of explained that they have cancer but it didn’t really sink in and assisted with post-mortem care because you were the nurse with the most experience on the unit. The rest were new grads, bless them but they really needed to remove teaching care plans and expand on communication, psych and discussions with biases surrounding death. Maybe you should email the state board, do they even check their email? They had to, right? They’re a government body, but are they gonna do anything with it? Your mind has spun again in that short time. 

The lack of restful sleep is having the same encumbering effect on the pair of you. Fatigued bodies to match your brains. 

His glass raises and he nods in your direction. You do the same. Then you both drain your glasses and refill them. No words are exchanged. The sounds of water, insects, and a light breeze fill the void where speech would be. Normally these sounds are what lull most people to sleep in Louisiana, but not you nor him.

A toast to another night of sleep lost.

Part Two

[cloudcountry]

almost.

Genre/Tropes: Childhood Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Royalty AU, Forbidden Love.

Summary: You've fallen for your personal guard, childhood friend, and closet confidante, Deuce Spade. Except you're royalty, and royalty do not marry lowly guards.

Author's Comments: WHEREVER I WRITE FOR DEUCE ITS LIKE 4K WORDS. love that guy, he's so neat. also this was inspired by ceroro's delighted guidance which is a royal au fic with rook!! i wrote this in like a day so this is unedited LMAO

~~~~~

You often fell victim to many bizarre dreams.

They usually centered around the legends your subjects kept alive over centuries. Tales of monsters in the dark parts of the forest and shadows that would swallow you whole. Stories that often frightened you, as the world of Twisted Wonderland was an unpredictable one. There was no telling when something like that would happen, and you would be in danger because of it. Thankfully it wasn’t your responsibility to worry anymore, though your previously self-centered worry now had another target.

Deuce Spade, your childhood friend and appointed guard.

He used to be able to run into your room whenever you screamed and comfort you by waving his hands around and yelling about how he’d beat up anyone that dared to harm you. His mother would often scold him for his violent behavior, but if nothing else it did make you feel safer. Eventually, you were even able to persuade your father to place his family’s room right across from yours, where you and Deuce could hang out whenever you wanted.

If only things could still be that way.

Instead of having dreams about monsters in the woods, you have dreams of faceless royalty vying for your hand and towering over you, their faces splitting open in sickeningly sweet grins as they grab at you. You always seem to wake up in a cold sweat from those, clutching your blankets to your chest like a lifeline. Tonight is one of those nights.

You slip out of bed and throw the bed sheets to the side, the slippers resting at the foot of your bed shielding your feet from the cold. It isn’t hard to navigate your room in the almost complete darkness, and you reach the door in no time flat. The guard currently posted outside your door is not Deuce Spade, but he doesn’t question it when you creep across the hall so he’s fine enough. He just follows you, stopping outside the Spade family’s door without a single indicator as to what he’s thinking.

It doesn’t matter if he thinks I’m pathetic. Deuce doesn’t. His opinion is the only one I care about.

You twist the doorknob and the door swings open. It isn’t safe, you think, but you know people like Deuce and his mother can’t afford to have the amount of protection that you do. The polished wood groans as you step into the room, and you freeze with a wince. Deuce is a notoriously light sleeper, and you just woke him up.

The door swings shut behind you, and shuts with a soft click.

You’re left in darkness.

“Deuce?” you whisper, creeping towards the edge of his bed and crouching down to his level, “Deuce, it’s me.”

“My Liege...why are you awake?” he mumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes, “Did you have another dream?”

“Mhm.” you hum, grasping at the corner of the bedsheets and tugging them off his body, “Let me in. I can’t sleep in my room.”

Deuce sighs and complies, scooting over so you have room. You plop down beside him and feel a wave of warmth wash over you. He takes extra care in tucking you in but turns around so his back is facing you once he’s done making you comfortable. You feel a stab of rejection in your chest but try not to dwell on it.

His duty is not to care about you.

“Goodnight, My Liege.” he whispers, the sound insignificant to him but worth more than a thousand diamonds to you.

“Yes, goodnight Deuce.” you say, shutting your eyes.

It’s disappointing that the distance between you hasn’t changed, even though you snuck across the hall for him.

The next morning you wake up early when Deuce has already slipped out of bed to begin his rounds. You blink slowly, wishing you could have savored sleeping with him a little bit longer. A frantic knocking on the door spurs you awake, and Deuce’s mother rushes to answer it. It’s the guard that covers your late night shift, and by the look on his face, he'd been searching frantically for you. You almost feel bad.

You smile at Deuce’s mother and thank her for letting you stay over so often, but she just shakes her head and bows to you. If the guard wasn’t here, you know full well she would have swept you into her arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

You’re convinced Deuce’s mom is the greatest woman alive.

You exit the safe haven you’ve built up over the years, stepping back into your royal chambers. There’s only so much you can do to hide your exhaustion when you see a few handmaidens and a tailor standing in front of your giant full-length mirror.

Frankly, it’s disturbing how prophetic your dreams can be sometimes.

As the handmaidens talk, it occurs to you that your father must have announced a ball to be held in honor of something or other (not that he ever needs a reason to party anyways, as he will always find a way to throw a party more extravagant than the last.) There’s no doubt in your mind that many suitors from neighboring kingdoms will come to vie for your hand, and it doesn’t matter if your eyes are locked onto one of your guards or not because love is politics in royalty.

There’s a handmaiden currently fluttering around you, and she’s assisting the tailor your father called over to fix an outfit for you. Even though you resent the idea of participating, you can’t help but admire the fabrics that you’ll be wearing for this event. You can’t admire them freely though, because it just so happens that right now is when the late-night guard switches with the early-morning one, and that early-morning guard is none other than Deuce Spade. To make matters worse, because of the guests in your room, he’s stationed inside (which wouldn’t be so bad if you were alone, but if that was the case he would never enter just because.) The thought of him seeing you in all this gaudy fabric makes you feel shameful, even if they are beautiful swatches.

“Oh, My Liege...” one of the handmaidens sighs, clasping her hands in front of her chest as she looks at you adoringly, “You’re going to look so lovely! Everyone will be tripping over their feet to earn a dance with you!”

You don’t look at Deuce. You don’t think you can right now.

“Oh, you think so?” you say mildly, absentmindedly continuing the conversation.

She nods a little too enthusiastically, and you hold back a sigh. Why is everyone so eager to marry you off to the first royal heir that comes knocking on your door?

“Oh, absolutely My Liege!” she beams, her round cheeks turning pink with pride, “I’ve been working for your father for a long time, I’m certain he’ll establish the best future for you!”

Economically, maybe. But emotionally? His understanding is lacking.

“I’m delighted that he’s going such lengths for me. Really, I’m spoiled.” you say through clenched teeth, and you hope your grimace passes for a smile.

Judging by the way the handmaiden is nodding vigorously with hums of approval flooding from your mouth, you’re pretty sure you’ve nailed it.

It’s so hard to ignore Deuce like he’s just another guard, like he isn’t the only one in this palace you can trust. Most of what occurs here is for appearances, but he’s never cared about that sort of thing. Even when you fell in the mud or scraped your knees or got a papercut he never scolded you for being out of line or not acting like royalty. There was no speech about you being the next ruler, he just fixed you up and vowed to protect you better next time. You always thought that was funny when you were a kid, but now you yearn for those days.

Things were so much better back then.

Brow furrowing with sorrow, you can’t help but look at Deuce in the mirror.

Your breath gets caught in your throat when your eyes unexpectedly lock with a beautiful pair that look just like the ocean on a sunny day. He’s looking at you.

Your opinion is the only one that matters is what you try to convey to him using only your pleading gaze. I don’t care what the other royals think is pretty or what my father thinks or even the handmaidens. I just want you to think I’m lovely.

You don’t know if he gets the message.

♠️

The ball is in full swing, and you feel like you might pass out.

You put in a formal request for Deuce Spade to be your bodyguard for the event, and you’re glad it was granted. Your mind is running a mile a minute not because you want to impress the dazzling royalty that are spinning around the palace’s ballroom in dresses and suits that would blind a man, but because you keep trying to come up with excuses to leave with Deuce. You don’t want to be here and he knows it, but he can’t do anything about it.

“Oh, I’m so warm.” you sigh loudly, and you feel a sense of accomplishment when Deuce snorts quietly beside you, “I must take a break, I’m sorry Prince Rosehearts.”

“That’s quite alright.” the young boy bows, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here as who you can only assume to be his mother is breathing down his neck, “Take your time, you highness.”

You wave, forcing a smile as you make your way to the gardens. A spike of irritation stabs you at the base of your throat when another prince jumps in your way, his expression bright and happy. He immediately starts yapping about how nice the festivities are as his companion stares into space with a harsh glare. You shiver and pray that glare will never be directed at you tonight.

“Kalim, I’m sure they want to rest.” the boy beside him says flatly, “Why don’t you go sample their drinks, since you’ve already had your fill of their food?”

Wow. That’s the first time you’ve seen a prince and his companion with such a close relationship. They must be childhood friends.

Just like you and Deuce, and yet not like you two at all.

“Oh! That’s a good idea, Jamil!” he laughs, waving goodbye to you with a flimsy bow, “I’ll see you later, your highness!”

You grimace and wave back, hoping that’s not the man your father will have you marry. He seems to be far too much to handle and not quite hard-working enough.

Or maybe you just need to stop comparing every man you see to Deuce.

With the Asim heir out of the way, you continue to the gardens without another interruption. Your shoulders sag with barely masked relief as the flowering bushes come into view. They’re the same bushes you fell into far too many times in your childhood, and the same bushes Deuce and his mother had to fish you out of. 

“Aren’t these flowers so pretty?” you ask, slotting a stem between your ring and middle finger. You cup it with reverence, as it’s one of the only tangible things you have from a better time. One of the only things you were allowed to touch.

You look over at Deuce.

“Yeah, they are.” he sighs, kneeling next to you with a soft smile, “They always did remind me of you.”

Your heart flutters in your chest at his words, and you feel your face heating up. There was nothing any of those royals could give you that would ever take your heart back from the boy in front of you. You turn your head to face him, staring into those deep blue eyes. He stares back, a pink flush steadily growing darker on his cheeks. You wet your lips and lean a bit closer because this moment is right, you two are alone, and you don’t think you’ll ever get this chance again.

He stands up and clears his throat. Your approach stalls halfway, and you feel as though you were just doused in icy cold water.

“I’m sorry, My Liege.” he mumbled, avoiding your questioning gaze with bright red cheeks, “I...I can’t. It’s improper.”

“Deuce?” you whisper, the sound so weak and pathetic that you hate yourself for it.

“Um...My Liege, please get up. It’s...not fit for royalty to be crouched on the ground like that.” he says, the words sounding so wrong on his tongue.

It doesn’t change the fact that he said them.

“Deuce...do you hate me?” you ask, shakily rising to your knees, “You’re always so distant when we used to be so close, and when I climbed into bed with you last night you didn’t even look at me before you fell asleep. Please just tell me if there’s nothing there because I don’t think I can stand to have this uncertainty surrounding us.”

You’re also certain that a broken heart would make it even worse for you.

“I can’t let...feelings get in the way of protecting you-”

Whose feelings?

“-because you’re...My Liege, and it’s my duty to protect you-”

I want to be more!

“-so I can’t act...I...I’m sorry.”

“Can’t act on what?” you persist, clasping your hands over your heart as if that will protect it.

“I can’t say.” Deuce looks away, shifting uncomfortably on the spot.

It doesn’t stop you from pushing.

“Why not? You used to say exactly how you felt when we were kids. Does being royalty make it that difficult...?” you take a step back, braced for the worst.

“It does, My Liege.” he confesses, and a sickening feeling wells up in your stomach.

Your heart shatters in your chest.

Your head is spinning as you stumble away from Deuce with a grimace on your face, unable to focus on anything except for the mixture of emotions you feel.

“I...I need to think.” you mumble, stumbling over yourself as you turn on your heel and start to run.

“My Liege!” Deuce yells after you, taking off behind you.

“Don’t follow me! That’s an order!” you cry out, throwing yourself around a tree trunk and through a patch of briars. Your precious clothing was torn in seconds, the fabric catching and yanking on the thorns.

You kept running.

Deuce’s footsteps were still trailing you, but he hadn’t caught you yet. You wished he was following you because he was worried, not because it was his duty to keep you safe. You wished you two could still have fun together. You wished he cared about you like he used to. You wished you could spend your days with him and his mother inside his room, playing silly games and eating those delicious chicken sandwiches she made.

You wished you could be a Spade.

A loud crunch is the last thing you hear before you go plummeting into a creek, your formal wear doing nothing to protect you from the shocking cold. A sharp pain travels up your ankle and you curse whatever divine force made you sprain it.

You are suddenly keenly aware of every sound within these woods. the slight moment of a branch on your left, the whispering of the tree’s leaves on your right, and the skittering sound of leaves billowing around the woods. A sudden fear overtakes you, a foreign emotion that you never had to face due to your upbringing. 

“Deuce?” you call out, feeling like an injured child again, “Deuce!”

“My Liege!” he calls back, and you feel relief rushing through you when he bursts through the greenery hiding you from view.

Your previous heartbreak is immediately forgotten when his expression of pure fear melts into relief. He splashes towards you without a care in the world for his pristine uniform and gathers you up in his arms with one swoop. You gasp as you’re crushed against him, his hand cradling the back of your head like he’s never planning on letting you go.

“Shit, don’t ever do that again. I’m sorry I hurt you that much. I thought I was saying the right things and that I was protecting you, but-” he gasps for breath, holding you closer and closer until there’s no space left between your bodies, “Fuck. Please, never do that again.”

“Deuce.” you sob, feeling the tears roll down your cheeks before you can stop them, “It’s okay. I was the one acting like a child. I think I’m just so used to getting what I want that when I can’t have you I...”

You don’t say anything. You can’t find the words, but Deuce knows. He understands.

“You should know that you’re precious to me.” he murmurs, a forbidden confession that you know he could never make in the palace, “Nothing will ever change that. Even if I wasn’t your guard, I’d still want to protect you as much as I can. I want to be better for you.”

“I don’t want to leave here yet.” you beg, clinging to his uniform, “Please, can we stay here for a while longer?”

His expression softens even more at your plea, and Deuce allows himself to squeeze you. It’s a tender gesture that sends your heart into a frenzy again.

“Of course.” he murmurs, and it’s then that you realize how close he is to you.

“Deuce.” you whisper, leaning in again, hoping against all hope that this is the right moment, “Can I...kiss you?”

He sucks in a shaky breath at your request, but this time he doesn’t pull away. You wait patiently, for a few beats, staring into his eyes as the creek’s chill helps to minimize the heat of your face.

“My Liege...” he furrows his brow, mouth curving downwards in a frown, “I can’t.”

“Please. Please, Deuce. I want to kiss you.” you mirror his expression.

“I do too.” he whispers, flinching at his own words, “I want to kiss you so much. I want to kiss you all the time.”

“Then please.” you cry, every cell in your body desperate for just one kiss, “Please.”

Deuce sighs, but you can see his composure breaking.

He whispers your name—your actual name, not My Liege or your highness, just your name and it’s the most beautiful whisper of your name you think you’ll ever hear and his mouth slots against yours.

You gasp, pushing against him to get more and more of him because this is a fleeting moment and you know you'll probably never get to do this again.

You will never get to kiss Deuce Spade again.

He presses a hand against your lower back and holds you close, the other one still cradling your head. He’s leaning in too, kissing you just as desperately as you’re kissing him, and just that fact alone has a joyful lightness filling your heart. You feel like you could fly right now and take Deuce with you away from the palace and your responsibilities and the title that keeps you two apart.

It’s over too soon.

♠️

You’re convinced your father didn’t need to scold you as much as he did. Even though Deuce didn’t want you to, you still took the blame for what happened. Your father would have thrown him and his mother out if you hadn’t, and you don’t know how you would live if Deuce wasn’t around.

The memory of the kiss is still floating around in your head, and it still makes you feel just as light as it did when it happened. You swear your guard used some sort of magic on you because your brain is entirely captivated by him.

Though, you suppose with a giggle, that is nothing new.

Your joy doesn’t last long though, as memories of what happened after the kiss creep into your head.

“I hate this distance between us.” you said as you trailed a hand down his cheek, “I just want to be close to you. I want to be your best friend and your closest confidante and...I want to marry you, even. I want to be with you forever.”

“My Liege, you can’t marry a guard.” he protested, and your heart ached at the return of honorifics, “Why would you want to do such a thing?”

“You know, you try too hard to stick to the rules. You rarely did that in our childhood.” you huffed, “I want to marry you because I love you. Surely you knew that?”

“That’s why I can’t marry you My Liege.” he sighed and looked at you with such sorrow that it broke your heart again, “I need you to have the approval of the people and to find a husband. I need...I need to be better for you and my mother. I need to follow my duties so neither of you get hurt again. I’m sorry.”

You try to bring back the happy memory of the kiss, but your mood has already soured.

And so you greet your handmaiden halfhearted as she rushes you into your bathroom. She's chattering on and on about how dreadful it is that your clothes got ruined, but that you still look stunning no matter what. You say nothing. She scrubs and scrubs and you try to wipe the memory of those hurtful, honest words out of your mind to no avail. You’re relieved that your father sent all the guests home early because of your little “stunt,” as he called it. At least now you don’t have to converse with royals who could never hold you or care for you or kiss you like Deuce Spade does.

Dinner is spent in silence as your father croons about how lucky it was that you weren’t hurt, since there are many wild animals on the castle grounds and oh, by the way, did you hear about his most recent hunting expedition? He’d be delighted to relive the tale of him shooting this large boar he found-

You excuse yourself with a weak smile and your father waves you away, content to use the handmaidens and butlers as his audience. Your handmaiden follows you back to your room, where she helps you change into your pajamas. You wave her away the second she’s done.

Flopping down on your bed, you can’t help but feel empty. You wonder why that is.

Today has held many emotional twists and turns, and perhaps it was too much.

Despite your better judgment, you get back up out of bed and head towards the door. The guard once again says nothing as you walk across the hall and knock on the door belonging to the Spade family. Deuce’s mom opens the door immediately and welcomes you in with that same happy smile, and that alone tells you she knows nothing.

“I hope the festivities didn’t tire you out too much, dear.” she hugs you, the comforting warmth of her seeping into your expensive pajamas, “I’ll go make you some tea. I’m sure your father means well, as he’s trying to secure you a happy future, but if you ever need a break from it all our door is always open.”

A happy future?

You look over at Deuce, only to find him already looking at you.

There’s a sharp pang in your heart at his saddened expression.

You were so close.

You were almost there.