#and thank you again for the welcome back messages!! im so happy to see you again too!! ;;o;;

[just-some-random-blogger]

Why Not Me? | 1

Part 2

Love is beautiful. Love is lovely. But lately, to you, love is a form of self-harm.

Rockstar!Gwayne Hightower x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, Modern AU, low key fix-it-fic, canon divergence, DD:DNE, body dysmorphia, body shaming, smut (cunnilingus, piv, biting, marking, licking, they're messy yall), fluff, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: THIS INCESTUOUS SHOW i changed the family tree for the sake of this fic and ive FIXED EVERYTING SHUT UP you cant do anything about it anyway ok ok ok. im half sorry it became so long. idk how many parts i wil do T_T save me. also i cross posted this on ao3 MASTERLIST/PLAYLIST

Tagging: @ceoofyearning @pendragora @worms-on-multiple-strings @barbieaemond

You can hear the live music playing from the inside your car. You take a deep breath and look at yourself on your phone before stepping out. You smile and fix your hair, "maximum slayage has been achieved."

You exit the camera app, catching the text icon when you do. You bite your lip. Your thumb itches. You open it, checking the last message you have that you've not replied to.

From Harwin: Are you at your sister's already? Can we call?

You clench your jaw and place your phone in your purse. You sling your purse on your shoulder and grab the cake on the passenger seat. You tell yourself to forget about the text as you walk towards the open gate of the white picket fence.

You smile at the garden, happy to see it in real life again and not just during video calls. You brush off your iridescent, pink dress before ringing the doorbell. As you wait, you look around the neighborhood. All the houses here were as expensive as the one next to it.

The door opens. You turn back and grin as Alicent squeals, "YOU'RE HERE!"

"I'M HERE!"

She can't help but kiss your cheek before leading you inside. You talk and walk, and the moment you set the cake down, your best friend immediately seals you into a hug, both of you squealing.

When you break away, you lift your eyes to the chandelier and point, "is that the new chandelier?"

Alicent beams and spins beneath her beloved light source, "yes! I swear to the Mother if someone fucks up my chandelier again-"

"Oh, ho, ho, ho!"

Both of you turn to the man waltzing in with horrible dance moves, "speak of the devil." Viserys walks over to you, coming in for a hug, "she returns! Alicent's been waiting on you for ages."

You share a hug while Alicent makes a face, "can you blame me? She works at the fucking edge of the world!"

You pull away and raise a hand, "okay, one, dramatic-"

"No it's not," she red haired woman crosses her arms, "you literally work next to Harrenhal."

"That is a gross simplification," you wave your hand, "and two, why don't you visit me for a change?"

"In your shitty apartment?" she makes a disgusted face, "no."

You make an offended noise and glare at Viserys, "you've turned her into a stinky bourgeoisie!"

Viserys makes a face and Alicent shakes hear head. She places a hand on your shoulder, "no babes. Your apartment is simply crappy."

You make another offended noise and shake her hand off. You turn back to her fiance, "anyway. Happy birthday, Viserys!" you motion to the box on the counter.

"Is that what I think it is?" he gasps.

You scoff for effect, "yah."

Viserys opens the box and makes a dramatic sound at the sight of the chocolate cake. He turns to Alicent, who shakes her head and sniggers. The man whisper-yells, "triple chocolate cake!!!"

You laugh. Your best friend repeats, "triple chocolate cake. Now what do we say?"

Viserys seals you into a tight hug. You squeal when he pulls you up enough for your feet to leave the floor. He groans excitedly as he puts you down, "oh, you are perfect, my dear. Thank you so much."

The overly affectionate gesture leaves you a bit awkward, but you play it off with a chuckle, "you're welcome."

Alicent clicks her tongue when Viserys swipes some frosting and licks his fingers, "Viserys. Get a plate."

"Oh, fuck, I feel like I'm in uni again," he sighs at the sweet taste, "should I grow out my hair?" He rubs the trimmed sides of his hair.

Alicent cringes, "absolutely not. You looked like a sickly lord in uni."

"But love-"

"Oh, I knew you were here."

You look over your shoulder. Your stomach drops. You shift awkwardly as Daemon walks towards you with a grin. "Figured from Alicent's squealing," he says before pulling you into a hug.

He rubs your sides and it makes you feel overly conscious. You mutter as he pulls away, "how've you been, Daemon?"

"You know me-"

"High as a fucking kite?" Viserys answers for him as he takes a slice of cake.

Daemon flips him off but smiles at you, "just dandy, love. And you?"

"Oh, you know, wet."

Alicent slaps a hand on her forehead.

Viserys snorts.

Daemon raises his brows.

You realize your mistake and backtrack, "n- no- I mean, cause- cause Riverlands!"

He snorts and your body tingles. He shakes his head and sighs, "and here I thought it was because of me."

Alicent raises her brows and takes that as a cue to leave. She pulls Viserys back, who whines because he hadn't gotten his cake yet. She slaps his arm and lies about needing to check on something.

"Did you bring someone?" Daemon asks.

Your stomach rolls at the insinuation he was interested in knowing if you had a date. You dramatically look around, "do you see anyone?"

He purses his lips and shakes his head, "well, I was hoping your sister would come around."

You stiffen. Your sister? You manage a chuckle to play off the stinging in your gut; it doesn't sting any less though. You half-smile, "Mysaria's in Lys."

He raises his brows, "still?"

You knit your brows, "still?"

"I just figured her vacation would be done by now."

You feel your eye twitch. You raise a finger, "how'd you know she's on vacation?"

Daemon simply shrugs, "I follow her on Unstagram."

A scoff spills from your lips as your brows raise, "she let you follow her?"

"Yeah," he shakes his head and furrows his brows, "why wouldn't she?"

You clench your jaw. You feel your skin crawl. It's as though your body was being stretched into oblivion. You press your lips into a tight smile and rub your belly as your agitation builds. You shake your head and shrug, "I didn't think you were that close. She's pretty private."

Daemon is supposed to say something, but then his attention is stolen by the sound from outside.

"This next song is called Breathless," followed my cheering.

His expression shifts. He throws his thumb over his shoulder, "shit. I uh... I have something-"

You nod before he can finish and Daemon effectively runs off.

Once you're alone, you let it catch up with you, the loathing, the disgust. You look around you and feel bile rise up your throat. Everything was beautiful. Everything was pristine and put together. From the color of the walls, to the furniture, even to the tiny pieces of décor.

This is Alicent's dream home. She found a man that loved her and he got her that white picket fence she's always wanted. She's living her dreams because... she's someone's dream girl.

You walk towards the mirror in the common room and stare at yourself. The makeup you spent hours on and the sundress you overindulged in now looked lack luster. Whatever convincing you did in the car has gone. You think about Alicent. You chuckle bitterly as you think of your sister, "oh, Mysaria." You were nothing but a disgusting blob, next to the statuesque her.

You grow angry at yourself when your eyes water. You pace around to calm yourself, "it's fine. I just won't eat any sweets." You force a smile at the mirror, "or carbs," you fix your hair, "I'll just have a bev. I ate already anyway."

When you no longer feel like crying, you let yourself join everyone outside.

Your eyes immediately fall at the platform and band setup across the large backyard. Viserys really went all out; there were lights, a sound system, and everything.

You try to make out the band playing. You immediately recognize Criston in his cream colored suit playing the bass, though his hair was snipped short and he had massive shades on. You knew Aemond was a guitarist but there was only a blonde with short platinum hair on the keys, and he never cut his hair, so you debated if it was really him in that leather suit jacket. But then you saw Aegon and his shaggy, jaw length hair, drumming yet again sans shirt showcasing all his tattoos and figured the other blonde had to be his brother.

Then, of course, there was Gwayne. If you couldn't recognize him by his guitar playing, or his distinct baritone, then you would by smirk and auburn hair. You sure did. There was a bit of sheen on his forehead, but even then he moved as cool as a cucumber. He looked good in his dark blue suit. I mean, they all did.

You remember Alicent talking about how excited Viserys was to have Oldtown play for his birthday, how they cleared their schedule and all. Though you weren't a close follower, you somehow felt proud of them, having watched them perform in shitty bars a couple times in university. To see them have the success they do now makes you feel honored to have been one of the few people who said they were going to make it. And judging by how people were singing along, they made it.

You were agitated by the size of the crowd. It still baffled you how many friends the Viserys had, but then your remember he's an old money businessman... and an extrovert. You rub your stomach as you search for Alicent. You spot her alone, cringing by the buffet table as she poured herself a drink. Immediately, your anxieties dissipate because of her and her unabashed dislike for her brother's music.

You walk over to her and sway your hips exaggeratedly to song. Alicent stills when she sees you, and makes a revolted sound before raising her pointer, "stop it."

"Nuh uh," you throw your hands in the air and move your hips, "it's a good song!"

Alicent rolls her eyes, which only makes you laugh.

From across the yard, Gwayne's attention is stolen. He watches how light catches in your pink skirt as you grind against his sister, much to her disgust. He smiles between lyrics, making the crowd react.

"Oh, come on, babes," you watch as your best friend chugs her drink, "you have to at least be proud of your brother."

Alicent shakes her head, "I am! I'm so glad that people like his music enough that he can perform it somewhere far away from me."

You turn to the buffet table when you catch the aroma of your favorite stew. You gulp but tell yourself you shouldn't eat. You decide to pour yourself a drink.

She catches you, "you want me to get you a plate? I ordered your favorite-"

"No," you shake your head, " 'm just thirsty."

She knits her brows, skeptical of your words as she was aware of your destructive tendencies. She decides believe your reassurance, though her gut was telling her otherwise.

She turns back to Oldtown and catches her brother looking. She shakes her head and flips him off. Gwayne chuckles, not because of her though, because you finally turn around. This entices another reaction from the crowd, which Alicent wretches over.

You sip on some punch and shoot her a look, "oh, stop being so sour, baby."

She glares and points, "you try listening to your brother and your cousins sing about the women they've shagged and tell me then if being I'm sour."

You bite your lower lip, but break into a laugh anyway, "you got me there."

Alicent's eyes widen for emphasis, "yeah. And I don't even mind it when people ask me about 'em, but I really, really don't want to know how badly you want to fuck my brother."

You laugh again, no longer holding back this time.

She laughs along. She loves seeing you this way, "you look absolutely stunnin' in your dress, by the way."

The compliment flies over your head.

"Pink is 100% your color," she says with genuine enthusiasm.

You sigh and offer a smile, "it better. This dress costs me a fucking arm."

"Well, it does," Alicent affirms, "you look like a fucking queen."

Your heart swells. Yet again, your best friend breaks into your layer of self-hatred. You nod and agree for her sake, "I really do."

The next moment, the crowd breaks into applause, signaling the end of the song. You cheer along, though you hadn't really paid attention. You turn to the stage and find Gwayne looking your way. You smile and he smirks back.

Gwayne pushes back his strapped guitar and grabs the mic, "thank you. I hope you all enjoyed our set." He shields his eyes as he looks through the crowd. He points once he spots Viserys, "happy birthday again to you, brother."

Alicent claps with the crowd. Viserys laughs as his friends shake him wildly.

"Thank you so much for your endless support, and your endless money." Gwayne chuckles before motioning, "it's been Criston, Aemond, Aegon, and-" he places a hand on his chest, "- Gwayne. We are Oldtown, and you have been a wonderful crowd."

You applaud as the band gets off the stage. They settle their instruments with their stage riders and you look back to Alicent. Before you can speak, her eyes widen as she takes a sip, "idiot in coming."

You look back where she was, brows quirking in surprise when you see her brother jogging over.

Gwayne immediately tries to snatch Alicent's drink, but as she anticipated it, she effectively dodges then chugs. He groans, "oh, thoughtful."

She manages to make a face as she gulps. Some liquid dribbles from the sides of her mouth.

"And classy," her brother's forehead wrinkles.

You chuckle at their antics and shake your head, deciding to pour the man a drink yourself.

Gwayne gives his sister an annoyed look when she sighs for effect. She wipes the corner of her mouth, "it's my drink."

"I would at least expect-" his words falter when he realizes you weren't even beside him. He cranes his neck to look at you before looking to his sister, "-you'd be willing to share after I've slaved away for your pleasure."

"Oh, I can assure you I found no pleasure in this. And have you been so out of practice 8 songs is slaving away for you?"

Gwayne chuckles but is uninterested in continuing the argument; his interest was never in his sister to begin with. He turns to you, digging his hands in his pockets, "and who might you be?"

Alicent turns between the two of you then deadpans, "seriously?"

Gwayne smirks. In his head, his sister's reaction is of being a protective friend. He's admittedly had flings with her friends before, but he's never been deterred by his baby sister's wrath.

But the truth is, that's not at all the reason why Alicent shakes her head incredulously, "my friend from college, you absolute goldfish."

He furrows his brows at Alicent.

At this point, you procure a cup of punch for Gwayne and hand it to him with a smile. He looks at you then the drink you're holding out. He takes it with a smirk, making sure your hands brush as you do. Oh, he is smitten.

None of that registers to you. You return his smirk with a genuine smile.

It doesn't register with Alicent either, which is why she complains about something else entirely. Her lips curl, "you've done it now. You've fed his ego. He's going to be insufferable."

You shake your head and laugh.

Gwayne licks his lips, laughing along, body tingling at the sweet sound of your voice. He does not look his sister at all as he replies, "I've always been insufferable."

You catch his look. Alicent rolls her eyes, "oh, thank gods he's at least self-aware."

Again, Gwayne reacts; he chuckles, but his eyes do not leave you. He shakes his head, "did you transfer after I graduated?"

You knit your brows at the notion, "no," you chuckle, "I'm actually your junior. I took Music Production at King's Landing too."

His face falls and his brows raise.

You chuckle brighter as you nod, "yeah... we were even classmates in, what, two subjects?"

Gwayne wipes his face. You laugh at his stressed expression. "No fucking kidding," he clutches his jaw. He shakes his head again, "what classes did we share?"

You press your lips together in thought, "the... one with Mr. Boldwood."

"Are you serious?" he mutters, "the one where we scored horror films?"

"Yeah," you smile, "I remember you added sound effects instead of music and Mr. Boldwood was like, yeah don't do that, it's a scoring class, not an SFX class."

Gwayne runs his hands through his auburn hair and tugs on the collar of his dress shirt. He loosens his tie as he sighs. By the Seven, how does he not remember you?

You laugh and wave him off, "it's not that big of a deal. You were always too tired to talk in class."

That was true.

"No, it is," Alicent blurts, and he agrees. "Make him feel bad for not remembering you," she shoots him a look, "I literally went to one of your concerts with her, you imbecile. The one where you forgot your guitar and we had to drive-"

"To Highgarden?" Gwayne's jaw slacks.

"Yes, to Highgarden."

Oh, he is stressed.

You feel bad, and shake your head, "to be fair, I wasn't there when she gave you your guitar. I was the one driving and didn't get out because I didn't want to get towed."

Gwayne nods. He watches how your brows quirk and how your lips curl.

You assure him once more, "it's fine. Really... and anyway-"

"Oh, you stop it," Alicent cuts you off.

You turn to her, "but it's tru-"

"No, it's not!"

"I usually just fade in the background of people's minds. I'm not very memorable."

"You are!" Alicent argues, "Gwayne's just an fucking idiot."

Gwayne points at her, "and I am completely agreement."

Before you can respond, Daemon suddenly walks into the conversation. You turn to him, seizing up as he brushes against your shoulder. You turn to your drink and step back. Daemon says, "Viserys is asking about the mixer and-"

"Did he touch the damn mixer?" Alicent says, "I told him not-"

"I told him the same thing," he raises his hands.

She groans and rolls her eyes. She raises a hand in regard before walking off, "gimme a sec."

Daemon follows her. Your eyes follow him, allowing yourself to look a while longer than you should have.

You best believe Gwayne catches it all. His lips twitch and his brows pull back in annoyance. He mutters pointedly, "so Daemon, huh?"

You turn to him, "w-what?"

He chuckles dryly at your coyness. He takes a sip before glaring at the said man, "so you have a thing for annoying cunts?"

Your face falls.

He shakes his head before tilting it, "the imbecile has no redeeming qualities. It's an anomaly why woman chase after him." He scoffs, expression growing even more bitter, "probably his money." He drinks some more punch, cringing at how sweet it was, then finally turns back to you.

He is both annoyed yet subtly amused by how affected you are by his dislike for the Targaryen rat. He sighs, "for what it's worth he, himself, thinks I'm also an annoying cunt."

You raise your brows, realizing he wasn't just saying this. Then out of nowhere, you find it incredibly stupid and downright hillarious.

Gwyane finds his expression softening at the sound of your laughter. His annoyance did not wane, but still, he smirks and brings a hand into his pocket, "switch to me instead."

You laughter dies down but it's too late, you weren't paying attention. You shake your head, "I'm sure he doesn't actually think that."

"Oh, trust me, he does."

You wipe a tear, "no way. He's actually a closeted Oldtown fan."

Gwayne laughs, loud and mocking. The taken aback giggle that leaves you is the only reason he actually starts laughing genuinely. He clutches his side and moves towards the table, "is he now?"

You watch him put his drink down, "he is! He practically ran out of the door when he heard you announce the last song."

He sniggers, "pathetic bastard," he steps closer, "but who can blame him? I quite like Breathless myself." He brushes his lips and looks you up and down, "though I much prefer someone who dances to my songs unabashedly."

You smile, unaware of him still, "oh, I'm sure you do."

Gwayne, in truth, is also unware of you, far too wrapped up in the way you smiled and how your skin glowed in this light. In his head, this conversation was going swimmingly, because when has it ever not— Which is why he says, "let's go dancing in my bedroom."

You do a double take. Your jaw drops, "I beg your pardon."

He tilts his head, "I have about a hundred records and a vinyl player. I'm sure your dress would look even prettier under my lights."

When he takes another step forward, only then do realize what's happening. His stance. His eyes. His lips. It's all coming together. It stabs into your belly and you're suddenly bleeding all over yourself.

Your breath hitches. He catches it, and causes the corner of his lips to quirk. He is pleased. "What do you say?" he leans on one leg and brings his hands in his pockets.

What do you say?

You say you were still reeling from your sobering encounter with Daemon. Of course you always knew he was a playboy and he slept around, of course you knew he would never be seriously interested in you, but realizing any sort of interest he had in the first place was because of your sister again— it doesn't hurt you any less. It hurts you more each time. The next second, you are reminded of every man who's ever shown you interest and recall what they really wanted from you.

And as your mind raced with these thoughts and the sight of Gwayne Hightower— multi-award winning Gwayne Hightower, front cover of Rogue magazine Gwayne Hightower, Oldtown hearthrob Gwayne Hightower-

"Alicent doesn't have to know," he mutters and shrugs.

Oh.

He gives a lopsided smile.

If you somehow didn't know before, you know now exactly what he wanted from you.

You turn to your feet. But Harwin...

You scoff at yourself. Who were you joking?

You feel pathetic enough for you to look up and say, "okay."

Gwayne examines your face. He notices how your expression shifted but still, his smile spreads. He reaches a hand to you and you take it without a second thought.

You walk off and you don't even bother looking for Alicent at all. Before you leave, you do encounter his cousin, Aegon. Your eyes lock as you pass each other, and so you decide to smile at him, "nice tats, Aeg."

He freezes and watches as you and Gwayne leave.

Gwayne raves as he drives, telling you about The White Walkers, how it was his favorite band and how excited he was when Oldtown got to play with them. He rambles some more before asking you about your tastes. You brush him off at first, uninterested in indulging conversation.

You shake your head, "it's not very interesting."

"I'm pretty sure I get to decide what I find interesting or not."

You watch him give you that trademark smirk of his and you want to so badly believe he wasn't just saying that to get in your pants.

You don't but you humor him, "I'm more of a jazz sort of person."

"Aha," he maneuvers the steering wheel, "so extended chords and irregular tempos get you going?"

You lean into the passenger seat and smile, "don't forget nonfunctional harmony."

His dimples deepen. He takes a turn, "so what, you're too good for The White Walkers?"

"I did not say that."

"Well," he sighs deeply, "you don't seem to want to say much so I'm going to have to make things up as I go."

You shake your head and roll your eyes at him. You look out the window and miss the way he smiles at you.

"Fine," you start, "there's an artist called Khiara. She's makes incredible music. She's Lengii, and she infuses a lot of her native sound in her music. It's stunning."

He nods, "Khiara."

"Yeah..." you give him a passing smile before looking away again, "she's great."

"I'm sure she is."

He did not mean it in a mocking way, but it comes across to you as such. You scoff and resign to watching the buildings pass.

"Are you a jazz musician by taste and profession?"

You roll your eyes at his adamance at small talk, "I'm a music teacher."

His brows quirk, "what? No way, that's-"

"Underwhelming?" you look back at him.

"Cool," he spares you a look before bringing his eyes back on the road, "you teach jazz?"

"I teach 4th graders."

"Even better," he smiles, "I couldn't teach a dog to bark even if I tried so, consider me impressed."

"Mmm. I'll add it to my CV."

He snorts.

You look out the window again, "that one rockstar is impressed by me."

He leans an elbow on the car door and brushes his lips as he chuckles. Gods, you were a dream.

When you reach his apartment, you realize just how much of a rockstar he really was. His place was huge, and he had such eccentric furnishing, from a full on display of a suit of armour, to posters of obscenely niche bands. They didn't make sense and yet they fit perfectly together. And when he said he had a hundred records in his bedroom, you think he was actually playing it down.

You both take your shoes off before entering his bedroom. Gwayne leads you by the hand and motions to his collection, "I'm sure I have something here that's jazzy enough for you."

You raise your brows at him and pull away, effectively stopping him in his tracks before he can go through his records.

His brow quirks, "what is it?"

"Did you really take me home to dance in your bedroom?"

Gwayne chuckles as you walk past him. He eyes your body as you inch towards his bed and sequentially sit by the foot. You place your hands on your knees and raise your brows at him. He licks his lips and shrugs, "did 'dancing in my bedroom' sound like an innuendo to you?"

You scoff out a chuckle and roll your eyes, "you really are an annoying cunt."

Gwayne lowers his gaze, licking his teeth. He saunters over, hands in his pockets. He stops once he is directly in front of you, "do you want me to stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Being an annoying cunt?"

"I want you to stop wasting my time," you retort, "unlike you, I work a 9-5."

He laughs, dropping his head. He raises his hands in surrender, "damn. Where did you come from? You were so smiley and sweet not even an hour ago."

You forfeit a response and simply lean back on the bed.

That wipes the smile off his face. He looks down on you, feeling his breath grow heavy at your expression. He clenches his jaw, undoes his tie, and drops to his knees.

You can't stop your lips from parting.

He rubs his hands up your shins, measuring your reaction. You simply watch as his hands disappear underneath your skirt. Your breath hitches when he squeezes your thighs. Gwayne pushes closer, and you wouldn't have minded, had he not kissed your knee.

"Wait," you reach out to his head.

Gwayne gulps as he looks up at you, eager to know where he went wrong.

"No kissing," you mutter.

He hears it, repeats it in head, then repeats it out loud, "no kissing?"

You bite your lip and stroke his cheek, "no kissing."

It takes a moment for him to realize you were being serious, and when he does, he slowly nods, repeating again, "no kissing."

You nod and straighten up. You brush your hands up his arms then proceed to unbutton his white dress shirt, "you can bite, you can lick," you lick your lips on cue, "I'll even let you spit on me—"

"Mmm, fuck."

"—but no kissing." You slip your hands into his shirt, "you good with that, Hightower?"

"Fuck," he hooks his hands behind your knees and tugs you forward. You squeak and grip his shoulders. He slots himself between your legs, "no kissing anything?"

Your breath strains when his nails drag up the inside of your thighs, trailing to your waistband. Your brush your noses together, shaking your head, "anything."

He hisses, baring his teeth. He is unbelievably compelled to kiss you. He knocks his nose into your cheek, nostrils flaring, jaw muscles feathering. He breathes against your ear, "not even here, pretty girl?"

You feel his fingers brush across your soft belly and sink past your navel. You whimper when his fingers press into your core. He tuts and bites your neck at your attempt to you close your legs, "nah, ah, ah, ah. No fair. You need to play fair with me, sweetheart."

You rest your head on his toned shoulder. You squeeze his biceps, taking a moment to relax before willingly parting your legs.

He makes a pleased sound, "good girl," he nips your earlobe, "now, say it for me. Will you play fair?"

You sigh against his trapezius as your hand clutches his neck. You lick his skin before biting and whimpering, "yes."

"Seven gods," he groans, turning to kiss you. He tilts your head back, lips nearly landing on yours, but the sight of your smeared lipstick reminds him that he can't. His mind raceswith all the things he wants to do you. He starts by smearing your lipstick with his thumb and biting your lips.

You whimper and push him by the chest.

He licks your cheek and shakes his head, "I'm not kissing you, baby."

You dig your fingers into his hair and pull him back, "annoying fucking cunt."

He laughs and pulls away. His hair is messy and your stomach drops when he swipes the lipstick on his thumb on his lower lip, "I am. Now lie down." He bunches your skirt up.

You refuse to fully lie down, wanting, no, needing to see him. His eyes stay fixed on yours as his nails bite your thighs and his teeth stake their claim. He shakes his head, nose brushing against you, "told you to lie down."

"Mmm," you comb the hair out of his face, "want to see your pretty face."

He smirks and rids you of your underwear, throwing it somewhere in the room, "we'll see."

Gwayne sinks into you, his tongue and lips lapping into your folds. He works with confidence and feasts in a way that makes you writhe. You are powerless against his finesse. Your breath strains as you fall on the bed. He grips your hips, keeping you from moving too much, and you are never not amazed at just how strong men can be, "mmm, 's what I thought."

Before you know it, all you can do is arch your back, tug his hair, and call out his name. It only inspires him to be more diligent. He basks in the power he has over you. He moans as you become increasingly frantic and curses when you come undone all over his mouth.

He allows you momentary repose as he rises from your legs. You look up at him, heart racing as he licks his lips. Fuck, he was beautiful. You wipe the sheen off his chin and feel your stomach drop when he licks your thumb.

Let it never be said that Gwayne Hightower is a talentless prick. Go say what you want about how he sings and speaks, but gods, the man can use his mouth.

It was both so quick and not quick enough until you're both naked. Gwayne has to make the conscious decision to leave bites on your skin instead of kisses, and you suppose this is the reason why he ends up trapped beneath you. You take advantage of his distraction and lose yourself as you ride him, unabashedly bouncing on his hips as your hands reveled in his toned belly. He squeezes every part of you he can get his hands on, relishing the firmness of your hips, the delicateness of your breasts, the softness of you. It was in these moments you didn't mind your build, knowing well these mortal men looked at you like a goddess.

He can't help himself and sits up to graze your skin. He leaves marks all over your throat and nips your lips every time you drive him wild with your noises. He thinks about how badly he wants you to stain his mouth with your lipstick, and in that moment, you push him back and shift your weight into his shoulders.

He curses for the nth time and brings one hand up to the base of your neck. You lean into his touch. His thumb brushes over your lips and you suck on his finger. It makes him claw at the small of your back with his other hand.

Gwayne watches the way your body quakes at the force of your actions. He commits the sight to memory as he feels his belly tighten. He pulls his thumb away with a pop and aids your movements with the thrust of his hips. You call his name out like a mantra as you feel pressure building inside you.

And then it was hot and electric. And then you felt yourself melt into a burning mess as slowly your bones turned to jelly.

You fall into his chest and catch your breath. You can feel both your hearts racing with your sweaty skin pressed together like this.

Gwayne wipes his face and brushes his hair back, mind hazy, mouth dry. Before he can bring an arm around you, you're pushing yourself up and climbing off him. He turns to your side, expecting you to lie next to him, but you make him knit his brows when you grab your dress from the floor, "where's your bathroom?"

He rolls on his belly and points, "just outside."

You cover yourself with your dress and pick up your underwear. You quickly find the bathroom and open the light. You give yourself a jumpscare when you catch reflection on the mirror.

You look like you were caught in a violent accident, with your hair messy and your lipstick in places you didn't expect. You body looked horrendous, worse under this lighting. You gulp and wonder how horny Gwyane must have been to want to take you home. You feel pathetic. You feel nasty. It's no wonder why no one's seriously interested in you. You were a disgusting fat fuck who's only point of interest is her pussy.

You wash yourself as much as you can, get dressed, and take a few deep breaths before exiting.

When you step back into his bedroom, you hear music playing. Was that-

"Khiara," Gwayne says, still sprawled on his belly, butt naked. His eyes are on his phone, "she is incredible."

You look around for your purse, wondering if it was here on in his car.

He turns to you when you do not respond, his expression dropping upon seeing you dressed. He sits up, "is something wrong?"

You spot your purse and smile to yourself, "nope. Just need to call an Ubor."

He watches you grab your purse and pull out your phone. It takes a moment for him to register what was happening. His pride is wounded, "you're not going to stay?"

"Like I said, nine to fi-"

"Tomorrow's Sunday," he leans into his thighs.

You glance at him, catching his sullen expression.

"Don't go."

You ignore the bubbling in your stomach. You chew your lip and walk towards him. He watches you intently. You rest your knee on his thigh, and he immediately straightens up to grab your hips. You take his chin and look at the mess on him, your lipstick, your slick, your spit, then whisper, "I've got things to do."

He rubs your sides, "do they do you better than me?"

Neither of you react.

You think about the convenience store you passed on the drive here. You decide you can wait for your Ubor there and pull away from him, "this was really fun, rockstar."

Gwayne huffs, lowers his gaze, and pinches the bridge of his nose, "no, wait-"

"Good night," you walk off.

He grabs his pants, "let me drive you home."

You ignore him and rush to his door, "good night."

"Wait, dammit!"

You sigh in relief once you're out his home. You forfeit the elevator and head to the stairwell. Halfway through your descent, the door above slams open, and you look up to see a frantic looking Gwayne.

"Really?! The stairs?!"

You wrap your arms around yourself, watching him runs down to you. His face is still messy. His shirt is unbuttoned, and his pants aren't zipped. He sighs, shaking his hands, "what?! what? Am I a bad driver?"

You bite your lip and shake your head.

He huffs and waves a hand, "am I a bad lover?"

Your stomach rolls. You turn to your feet, "I wouldn't know, you're not my lover-"

"Fuck- am I a bad... fuck- sexual partner!" he blurts, zipping his pants then adjusting his shoes.

"No," you chuckle guiltily, "you were... you were amazing-"

"Rate it 1 to 10," he begins to button his shirt.

You look up at him incredulously and sigh, "Gwayne, I just really want to go home."

"Then stop bruising my ego and let me take you home," he shakes his hands in frustration. You stare at each other for a moment. The look on his face makes you want to be swallowed by the ground. You go down a few steps, and Gwayne steps once before sighing. He places his hands in his pockets, "I just... I thought it was going really well."

I look up at him.

He another step forward.

Your mind races. You can't help but relive all your bad memories in this moment. The sheen on his chest tells you bad this is going to hurt if you dive into it. Gods, fucking around with someone in Oldtown? You shrug, "it was, I think."

"Then," he steps forward and grabs your shoulders, "let's at least end it on a good note." You watch him motions with his head, "and let's take the fucking lift while we're at it."

He heads for the door. You suck in a breath and simply go down.

Gwayne holds the door for you and does a double take when he sees you walking off "seriously?"

"Stairs or nothing, buddy. I need the cardio."

"Well, if it's cardio you want," he rushes after you, "I am happy to help."

You glare at him once he's beside you.

Gwayne chuckles at it, feigning a look of innocence, "I have a treadmill in my flat. I don't know what you're thinking, dirty girl." You roll your eyes, making him laugh, "well, I mean I do, you practically jumped me."

"Oh, what, like you didn't think of it."

He gasps, "I am a gentleman."

"Mmm, you must think you're cute."

"Not nearly as cute as you," he grabs your arm once you reach the next door in the stairwell, "now for the love of the Mother, let's fucking take the lift."

[melobin]

it’s our one year anniversary!! and it’s absolutely surreal to me how much we’ve grown over the past year. i love melobin so much, i adore being here and i adore being able to share things with all of you and i can’t wait to share more of the things i have planned !!

the past year has definitely been a little rocky LFMAO i’ve been through three url changes and more than one silly ot6 accusation exposing post but i’m still here ! and i’m still adoring and supporting riize as a whole. it’s been a few years since I’ve found myself as in love with a group as i am with riize and im so incredibly grateful that i got to meet so many wonderful people because of them. from mutuals to anons to just people who interact with my blog, i really adore and appreciate you all, more than i can express in words. i’ve taken a few breaks in the past year, all mental health related but you’ve all been so understanding and i cannot thank you enough for that.

it’s quite overwhelming that melobin has gained over 3.7k followers in the past year, i never really expected much other than a few people to talk to when i first started my blog but im so happy with the little community we’ve created here and i can’t wait for it to continue 🥺 i truly adore you all.

the melody and friends discord server has been a highlight of melobin for me !! i love that server and everyone i’ve met through it, i wanted to create a community that was welcoming and comforting and friendly and i truly believe i’ve done that.

not to be too soppy but there’s definitely some people i’d like to personally thank for being here this past year.

@kkurokitty my jaye !! i love you and everything you do so much. you were there when i first created melobin, we had our little taerae pfps and urls 😭 things have definitely changed a lot since then but you’re since as wonderful as the day we met all those years ago and im so thankful to have you.

@leejeongz amy ☹️ not even god knows how much you mean to me. everyday we speak i feel like we’re closer even if we’re a whole train ride apart. having you back in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and i can’t wait to see you again. manifesting riize come to the UK soon so we can go and see them together. forever the moon to my stars 💔 i love you so bad :(.

@rishimuras melomiu <3 i’m so glad tals forced you to join my server the day it was created. it’s insane to me that we’ve been friends for almost a year now because i still feel like the same girl who was scared to message you whilst also feeling like ive known you for years. you’ve been a big part of melobin and my life for the past few months and i adore you so much. i only ever wish you the best and im more than ready to take on anyone who threatens that. i love you !!

@01zfan parter in crime i fear … the only person im honoured to lose 100 lp with in one day after spam playing tft with our little duckbills and dowsies. i was your biggest fan before we ever spoke and i remember almost doing a (metaphorical) backflip when i found out you already followed me 😭 your writing has changed me as a person and im so thankful to have become friends with you over the past few months. we fight the ot6 accusations together and we get you to plat SOON. i love you !! 💖

@tsandoll bunny !!!!!!!!! i love you !! you’ve been such a support for me with melobin and i can’t thank you enough! i love our little roblox games and the amount of shit we talk, i’m always laughing whenever we talk it’s almost impossible not to. you understand my humour so much and even when you don’t you still laugh .. true friend !!! i really hope soon you can feel better and feel like yourself again, i love you 💗

@sonjuyeonnie i wish i knew what blog to tag .. my fake text proof reader .. but seo i love you you’ve been such a sweetheart to me since you joined my server and i’ve been nothing but proud of you since then. you’ve accomplished so much and im so happy to see you thriving in life. i know we haven’t been able to talk much lately because of work but never forget how much i adore you and how im always here 💖

with some other people .. @antoncore my cee, you’ve grown so much in the few months we’ve known each other and i’m forever proud of you and i can’t wait to watch you grow more, i love you !! … @bbina my smau queen, btl changed me as a person and i’ll always support you in every smau you write even if i don’t know the idol you’re just TOO good. you’re so lovely and sweet and funny i luv yewww !! … @wonbin-truther the prettiest girl !! you’re so sweet and funny and so so talented, your sohee smau was pure GOLD i loved every second of it and i love seeing you pop up in my dms with the most random message, i fear i love you so bad 💔

there’s definitely others and i do adore all my mutuals so much !!! you all mean so much to me and i can’t wait for melobin to grow more. to one year and many more ! 💖

[runnning-outof-time]

Hello Hello K!! 💗 I believe that this is my first ever request to you and im so happy that now is the time I was wondering if two can be sent at the same time but I guess I'll have to send one more 🤭 I was thinking 14 with Tommy from the three word sentence prompt list!! Loads of heavy fluff perhaps?? I will be looking forward to this and i cannot wait to read what you'll come up with, congrats once again 💋💋

Thanks so much for this lovely message and for sending this request in, M! I hope I put enough fluff in this one!! I hope you don’t mind that I set it as pre-canon….it can be read as a little snapshot of the Actions Speak Louder couple…it can also be a standalone as well. I also tried to change things up from the normal ‘homecoming’ story. Enjoy! :)

The prompt used is “I missed you.”

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!

You’re Home

Tommy Shelby x Reader (PRE-CANON)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 965

Summary: The war is over. (Y/N) wouldn’t have missed Tommy’s return for the world, but unfortunately her boss doesn’t find his homecoming as important as she does. But things have a way of working out this time.

— November, 1918 —

The bell to the flower shop rang, signalling that someone had entered the store. (Y/N) couldn’t even be bothered to turn and see who it was. She was too busy begrudgingly shoving another tulip into one of the orders that her boss had left her with. A deep frown was etched into her features, and it grew deeper each time she let her mind wander.

I should be welcoming him home right now.

“Excuse me, do you have any red roses for sale?” a man’s voice came from the sale counter. (Y/N) didn’t even bother tearing her eyes away from the arrangement she was working on.

“No, sorry. They’ve all been bought,” she answered, hoping the man would leave without another word. A few moments passed, but the shop’s bell never rang. He was still standing at the counter. She didn’t have to look to feel his presence. Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll leave, she thought to herself as she snipped the stem of the next flower she was planning on using in the bouquet.

The man didn’t leave though. (Y/N) waited a few moments longer, gaining as much information about him that she could from looking at him through the corner of her eye. He was dressed only in brown, and his - what looked to be brown - hair was slicked back.

She let out a sigh and finally turned when it became clear to her that he wasn’t leaving. She wished she never let out a sigh when she was who was standing at the counter. Her eyes widened, and she blinked a few times to rule out the possibility that her mind was playing tricks on her. But he was still standing there.

“Have you forgotten the sound of my voice, love?” Tommy asked her, a smile creeping onto his features as he saw her shock.

(Y/N) rounded the corner and was in his arms within seconds. Tommy held her tightly against him, nestling his face into her neck and inhaling her sweet scent.

“You’re home,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. She clung to him like her life depended on it; like if she let go even the slightest bit, they’d both turn to dust and blow away.

“I’m home,” Tommy responded, turning his head to press his lips to her cheek.

They held the embrace for a few more moments before (Y/N) finally loosened her grip and stepped back slightly to get a better look at him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t at the station,” she said to him while wiping the tears from her eyes. “Mr. Johnson wanted me to work today.”

“There’s no need to apologize, (Y/N),” Tommy assured her with a shake of his head, “I knew you would have been there if you could. Your mum told me where you were,” he added then, laughing slightly when (Y/N)’s eyes widened for the second time.

“You went to my mum’s house?” she quite literally gasped, shocking filling her features once again.

“I did. I wasn’t sure where you were and figured she’d know,” he answered nonchalantly. (Y/N) took in the information, exhaled a long breath and decided to let it go. Right now she was just happy that her fiancé was home, for good. “All good?” Tommy broke the silence, making (Y/N) realize that nothing had been said for a few moments.

“Yeah,” she answered, taking a moment to really study his face. It looked sharper now than it did before, and any baby fat that was left had now disappeared. But she was still able to see her Tommy beneath it all. He became more prevalent as a smile started to break onto his features. God how she missed that smile.

“(Y/N)?” his voice brought her out of her thoughts and made her focus in on him again.

“Yeah?” she asked, wondering why he said her name.

“Are you ok?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah,” she breathed while nodding, a smile taking over her features as she felt her cheeks heat up. She just had to look away from him to conceal her reaction. Tommy’s chuckle told her that he’d saw it though. She’d been with him how many years now and still she’d get shy around him.

Silence surrounded them again until she lifted her head to match his eyes once more. Tommy hadn’t taken his gaze off of her since he entered the shop. She almost wanted to melt - again - under his gaze.

“I just…I missed you,” she whispered after a few more moments passed. She bit on her bottom lip to try and stop the tears from flowing, but they were too quick. Tommy saw them before she could swipe them away and he had her back in his arms within seconds.

“I missed you too, love,” he whispered back as he held her tight against his body. “But I’m not leavin’ you again,” he added, his words making her hold onto him even tighter. He took hold of her shoulders then so that he could hold her at arms length. “You hear me, eh? I’m not leavin’,” he told her again, his eyes focused right on hers.

“Please don’t,” she whispered through her tears.

“I won’t,” he assured her, “and we’re gonna get married. The first chance we have. I’m gonna make sure we have the wedding you deserve. Ok?”

“Ok,” she nodded in response, a smile forming on her face as she wiped the last tears from her cheeks. “I love you, Tommy,” she said then, her words making a smile form on his face.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he repeated the phrase before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

**tagging in reblogs so hopefully the notification gets sent out

MASTERLIST

[starlightsreigns]

same ol' mistakes | j. uso

summary ⇢ ginger loves her man. her friends... want her to get over her man, but sometimes mistakes need to be made a couple of times. tags ⇢ none. word counts ⇢ 1.6k

author's note ⇢ welcome to part three of the anti one shots! find part one and two here! not really sure how I feel about this one, but here we are. might rewrite in the future. i have a couple ones left! pls ignore the lowercase and errors.. ofc x

"feel like a brand new person (but you make the same ol mistakes)”

“ginger is now a ginger!” nia whistles. 

my hair flows down my back as she touches a piece. i can’t contain a laugh as cathy whistles alongside nia, gawking at the new look i picked up over the weekend. the higher ups agreed it was time for a new look to match my new persona. so, when it was time to sit in my stylists chair, my jet black hair was replaced with something a little more edgy. 

“you guys like it, honest, i wasn’t sure how it’d look with my skin tone.” i shrug, taking a seat beside bianca. 

bianca rolls her eyes, “you kidding? c’mon black women can rock any hair color they want.” 

it was the truth, i guess, so we sit in our group and watch the start of smackdown. in a rare occasion, the bloodline weren’t the ones to start the show. from the corner of my eye, i can see jimmy staring at me. he looks shocked at the hair change, and it takes everything in me not to react at him - not when bianca and nia were right beside me. 

“look who watchin” nia murmurs. 

caught. I feign confusion in her direction, but she can see through me. she’s always been good at calling my bullshit; that’s why she’s my accountability partner in figuring my relationship out with jimmy. 

nia leans in, “don’t do it, ginny.” 

of course, all i can do is nod. yet, it’s hard to ignore him. for two years, we were attached at the hip - correction: for two years we’ve been on-again-off-again boyfriend and girlfriend. my friends were tired of hearing the shitty things and consoling me every time we were off again. i don’t know what it is, but we just can’t seem to figure it out and we can’t seem to let each other go. love is a mysterious and trifling thing. 

“well, i don’t care, im in love” 

the match left my shoulders burning in pain. bianca walks ahead of me out of the guerilla. i’m nearly in stride with her until a hand touches my shoulder. jimmy smiles sweetly - that dumbass, goofy smile that i love so much. 

“you looked good out there with yo’ hair, gin.” he compliments with his sweet voice. 

“thanks jim, i appreciate that.” my voice soft, unsure what to say. 

jimmy opens his mouth to say something else, but bianca clears her throat. she sends me a death glare but gives jimmy a sweet grin. she comes back to take my hand, shooting a comment at jimmy before she pulls me away from him. 

“ginger, don’t piss me off, it’s been two weeks.” 

i sigh heavily, “he was just complimenting the match, B.” 

bianca whips her head towards me, “I don’t care if he was sayin’ a prayer, be serious.” 

how do i explain to my friends that this isn’t what i want anymore - the hovering, the pestering and questioning and disappointment. the disappointed looks when i even mention his name is killing me slowly. this wasn’t what i wanted anymore and when i glance back at jimmy, i knew it. 

“i can just hear them now, how could you let us down?”

happy hour came and went, but i couldn’t move from my seat at the bar for several hours. the uber ride home felt miserable and the text messages from the girls didn’t help the vomit that was threatening to spew from my lips. i barely made it through the door before i could rush to the bathroom. 

“fuck!” the scream came out of my mouth. 

this shouldn’t be my life. why am i scared to talk to the one person i want more than anything else in the world. fuck it. the ringing lasted a second before his voice came through the speaker. 

“ginny?” he was asleep. “you good?” 

my nerves set in for a moment - this was dumb but i couldn’t back out of this now. 

“i don’t want to do this anymore. i don’t want to not talk to you because the girls are telling me not to. i don’t want us to not try and figure it out when i know in my heart that we’re meant to be together and we just need to stop fucking around and make it work.” my words spill out before i can stop them. “i don’t care if it’s the same fucking mistakes, i want to make them until we figure it out.” 

he’s silent for a moment, but i can hear his breath on the other end before he clears his throat. “i love you, ginger, ain’t nobody gone change that or ever make me stop.” 

“not thinking in black and white.. thinking it’s worth the fight”

there’s a nervousness that’s settled in my chest. I wonder if they’ll know the second that they see me every time - will they know that me and jimmy are on again? that nervousness has overtaken every moment when im with them now. It’s been a month and I can’t sit and pretend like this isn’t happening. my mind is just a mess. 

“ginny, you okay, you have this weird smile on your face.” nia pokes my cheek. 

it’s become difficult to focus on anything else, while i was happy to be back with jimmy it’s been stressful to keep such a big secret from the women i trust more than anyone else in the world. 

“nah, im good, just lost in my own world.” i mumble back a quick reply. 

thankfully, the women turn back to their conversation. in the brief moment, i glance over at jimmy whose sitting with his cousin and of course he’s already watching me. he sends me a goofy smile that i can’t help but to smile back at before quickly glancing away. i just want to be near him. 

and as the night ticked on, my restlessness only increased. 

bianca kept an eye on me like i was a child who’d run the second they got their chance. it was suffocating. we sat in one of the makeshift viewing areas backstage, escaping the clutter of the women’s locker room, for a moment. jimmy sat not too far, sneaking glances at me. 

subtlety wasn’t his thing, because bianca threw random comments at me about needing to stay strong. 

“nia, please remind ginny.” bianca sighs when the older woman sits beside me. “she’s sharing looks with him.” her voice drops to a whisper as she leans across to me. 

my hands draw circles on my thigh as nia starts her pointless, and slightly demeaning lecture. 

“you’re better than this ginger…” she starts like a scolding mother. 

the tears sting the brim of my eyelids. i sneak a glance at jimmy who has a scowl on his face. he can see it written on my face. 

“we only want what’s best for you,” bianca chimes in. 

i couldn’t get a word edgewise as they continue. it's like a game of tennis and I'm the net in the middle, being jabbed by either player.

“your happiness is all that matters to us,” nia rests an arm on my shoulder. 

they continue, not sensing how over this whole situation i am, and finally i can’t help but let the tears fall. i’m not quick to wipe the tears, just stuck in my position trying not to go into a full blown anxiety attack in that moment. my eyes finds jimmy as he’s getting up and walking towards us. 

bianca looks up at him, “jimmy, this isn’t-”

“nah, Bianca,” he stops her immediately. “you know i got love for you and nia, but ease up on Ginger. She grown and don’t need y’all talkin’ to her like she a kid. I don’t appreciate you makin’ her cry over something like this.” 

the women stop, they look at me and finally see the result of their words. i can see the regret on their face. bianca wipes some of the tears off my cheek, whispering how sorry she was.

“y’all her friends, I get that, but she should be able to tell y’all anything. But y’all got her feelin’ like she gotta keep secret because you do shit like this. We got back together and we workin’ on us but she can’t do it because she worried about y’all.” 

jimmy grabs my hand, helping me up from between the women. all i can do is stare at him too afraid to look at them or the disapproval on their faces. we walk away as i try to wipe the tears that are streaming down my face. we’re halfway down the hallway before we stop, hearing nia’s voice. 

“ginny,” her and bianca wait until i turn to continue. “i’m sorry, love, we just wanted to protect you but we never want you to feel like you can’t talk to us.”

bianca nods, “we’re sorry gin, you know we’ll support you.” she looks at jimmy. “the both of you. we overstepped and we won’t do that again.” 

i stare at them for a moment before breaking out a grin and pulling them into a hug, “I love you guys,” i laugh before moving away. “I know you want to protect me, but i gotta figure my own shit out and i swear, i love this man and you don't have to hear the bullshit anymore.”

“girl, if you don’t tell us how are we supposed to beat his ass?” nia jokes, smacking jimmy’s arm. “you can talk to us.” 

jimmy takes me hand into his and twirls me into his arm. “so, we can kiss in public again, gin?” 

the girls groan playfully as I roll my eyes with a nod.

should i start a tag list?? would people want to join it? x

[mwahsturns]

First choice // Matt Sturniolo Pt 1

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

Contains: cussing, fluff, flirting, talk of death, Semi-proof read! I think that’s it let me know if there’s more! Also if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please ignore them 😭🙏🏻

Synopsis: Y/n works at a record store and one day while she’s working two very cute guys walk into the store but one especially catches her eye and later so happens they end up having more then just there music taste in common ;)

Word Count:1,890

Author’s notes: Hii bbys !! <3, So I’ve never written a fic before or posted on tumblr, So I’m sorry if this is bad I’m new at this please go easy on me😭🙏🏻. If you guys have any suggestions, tips or advice please message me I hope you enjoy my new series!!, this took me a very long time to come up with so I hope you love it💗.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

The sound of music always brought me peace, I work at a record shop because I love being around vinyls and just anything music related really. I also really enjoy reading It's always brought me a sense of comfort as well as writing and poetry. Honestly it makes me really happy, and ever since I was a kid I've always written songs and maybe sang a little bit but that’s a secret. I don't know what it is but I always feel like it helps me forget about everything that’s wrong in my life, my parents died when I was 16 so it’s always been just me and my two little brothers. I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them. Today was just a regular day at work I was putting vinyls on the racks that they go on when two guys walk into the store, I look over and give them a soft smile.

‘hii welcome let me know if you need any help finding any artist or vinyl specifically’ they smile at me and nod as one of the boys catches my eye, I’m a very shy person so I decided not to say anything unless I needed to. After a couple minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and saw the guy who caught my eye standing in front of me. ‘hi um i wanted to ask you something’ he seemed very nervous but also very confident weird mix. ‘yes of course how can i help you’ I smiled softly at him hoping to make him more comfortable, ‘do you happen to have “circles” by Mac miller’ he says as he does a side smile. I smile at him as I think about how I also enjoy mac miller.

‘yea over here!’ i walk over and pull it off the rack, ‘this is one of my favorites’ i say chuckling, ‘i really like this one’ he says turning the vinyl around. ‘what other artists do you like?’ ‘i really like d4vd and um frank ocean oh! Omg Dominic Fike omg Tyler the creator?! is so amazing and oh my god i'm rambling im so sorry’ I blushed getting a little nervous, ‘nah you're good’ he smiles as I look up at him and smile softly. We stand there until the guy he came with comes up to him ‘woah you guys twins or am I dumb?’ ‘nahh triplets’ he says laughing ’oh cool” i say and start checking them out. ‘You're the first to not ask us a million and one questions about being triplets’ he chuckles, ‘yea nah y'all will tell me over time’ I smirk i say with my boston accent coming through a little.

‘oh so you plan on getting to know us’ he smirks a little ‘oh totally y’all look cool’ I laugh, ‘you're from boston?’ The other guy says noticing my backpack in the back with the Boston logo. ‘yes i am’ i laugh ‘us too!’ ‘What's your name?’ The guy who got my eye says ‘I’m y/n’ ‘cool im matt and hes chris’ ahh Matt hot guy hot name. ‘cool!’ I hand them the bag and me and Matt make eye contact, ‘have a good day’ ‘thanks you too’ matt says smiling at me. They walk out and i really hope i see them again.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

  I finally got to clock out of work It was so tiring and I needed to make sure my little brothers were ok. I get to my car and get settled in and connect my phone to the aux and play “Ivy” by Frank Ocean. I’m so glad to be going home I think as I started driving I decided that I was gonna pick up a pizza for my little brothers because I got paid today and I know how much they love pizza. We aren't broke completely but we definitely struggle sometimes recently things have been rough but I finally got a promotion so it's getting a little easier I got the pizza and started heading home I got home and when i opened the door and my brothers cody and alex run up to me and ‘sissyyyy we missed you’ alex says hugging me, ‘aww i miss you too bud’ ‘sissy you bought pizza!’ Cody says looking like his eyes are gonna pop out of his head. 

 

i walk over to alexa who’s been my best friend for years, she helps me with my brothers and just around the house ‘thank you so much lex’ i say hugging her ‘Of course love that's what best friends are for’ she says smiling softly ‘wanna spend the night and when i put them to bed we can talk?’ ‘yeah okay sure’ Alexa smiles at me while i feed the boys.

I start to give the boys a shower and as i’m showering cody he looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face. ‘sissy I wanna be just like you when i grow up.’ He says playing with the bubbles, ‘aww little c i love you a lot bub and i know one day you’ll be even better than me’ i say tearing up, cody has always been more clingy to me than Alex is but not as much, cody doesn’t like to leave my side and he is the sweetest kid ever. Him saying he wants to be like me does hurt a little because I've been through a lot of shit but the fact that I look strong in his eyes makes up for it all. I put them to bed and Me Alexa got some wine and took a seat on the couch.

‘So how was your day?’ She says sitting next to me. ‘it was good omg lex these two really cute brothers came into the shop and oh my god girl’ I say blushing thinking of Matt ‘speaking of cute brothers you know the guy i was talking to?’ ‘yes why?’ ‘this is him and his brother I’d think you like him’ she turns her phone and pulls out a picture.

‘hold up hold up let me see that?!’ i say taking the phone from her ‘omg thats the cute guys that came in today’ ‘Omg?! yeah i've been talking to chris for a minute now’ ‘matt’s pretty attractive just sayin’ I couldn’t help myself but blush i don’t know what’s wrong with me fuck Y/N get it together. ‘oooo y/n has a crush?’ ‘oh shut the fuck up’ ‘oh come on you haven’t had a boyfriend since your parents died’ she says starting to get serious, ‘i know but my brothers mean the world to me lex i need to make sure there ok i don’t have the time’ I would love to give Matt a chance but i don’t know.

‘your brothers would want you to be happy y/n/n’ she says rubbing my knee, ‘I know but it's not about me being happy i need to make sure there happy i have to be a mother figure to them they need me’ ‘i get that babes but you need to remember you lost them too your only 20 rasing two kids you need to be a kid too especially since you were forced to grow up so quick’ i look at her and nod I mean I understand where she’s coming from but my brothers are all I know. ‘i love you y/n i'm just looking out for you ima head to bed goodnight love’ ‘night babes’ as she walks off and goes to into the guest room i kinda sit there think about what she said and i mean she's right but i can’t risk something happening to my brothers.  I head upstairs and head to bed because i have another day of work but holy fuck thank god it's friday. 

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

I woke up the next morning only because my alarm for work went off and i see it’s 9:44 so i know Alexa is getting my brothers ready for school I get out of the bed and i started to get ready for work. I finished getting ready for work when my younger brother Cody came into the room with tears in his eyes. ‘sis…’ he says in a sad tone I turned around quickly and scooped him into my arms ‘aww what's wrong love?’ i say concerned.

‘i don’t wanna go to school i wanna stay home with you can you please skip work..’ he says in a whiny tone, ‘Aww bub i wish i could help but you know the rules’ When i got custody of cody and alex the court gave me really strict rules to follow, i had to make sure they were always at school, they weren’t falling and that i kept a stable job and make enough money or else they would take them away. ‘I know but i hate being at school kids are mean to me and alex’ i look at him feeling bad but i don’t wanna risk losing them. ‘I’m sorry bub if i could keep you and alex with me 24/7 forever i would’ i say hugging him tightly.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

i got to work over an hour ago and to say its boring is an understatement. Just as i think that i hear the bell ring meaning someone walked into the store, i look up ready to greet them and i realize its matt. ‘Matt? Hey’ i say smiling. ‘Hey um i know this might be weird but i um.. Well so my brother chris the one that was with me last time uh i found out that the girl hes been talking to happens to be your best friend right?’ ‘yeah shes my best friend’ ‘well um she kinda encouraged me to come back..’ ‘what do you mean?’ ‘well i uh wanted to see if you were willing to go out with me… you don’t have to its o-‘ he starts to say but i cut him off. ‘Sure why not’ i say smiling i don’t know what happened but he was too sweet for me to say no to.

‘Wait really?’ ‘yea i mean i can’t deny you are pretty cute..’ ‘well thank you’ he laughs damn something about the way he laughs i dont know but it feels almost addicting to listen to. ‘Uh are you free saturday?’ ‘yeah i am’ i smile ‘sweet! Ill text you’ ‘okay bye matt’ ‘bye” he blushed a little bit as he left the shop. Shit who’s gonna watch cody and alex?!                                                                   

Author’s notes:heyyy I’m back! So I hope you enjoyed the first part of this series and I’m sorry if there was any typos, spelling mistakes, etc I’ll try to fix the ones I can if I miss anything please let me know but I hope you enjoy and have a great day 💋

[peculiarbeauty]

not to be gay on main but i am going to be gay on main. it's positivity post time !!! i just wanted to shout out a couple amazing people who have become ultra close to me ( or were ultra close in the past and we reconnected hehe ) this is just a few names, i don't have time unfortunately to write a message for everyone on the dash but please please know that you are special to me if you are a follower. this is never in a particular order.

@seachant - NINI i love you. you are such a breath of fresh air. genuinely a twinkling star that just happened to fall in my vicinity. lucky me tbh. thank you for giving me the chance to be friends with you and write on multiple different blogs with you. writing with your ariel here was such a DREAM of mine. i remember seeing your blog around and just adoring it. we did write previously when i wrote in the fandom but we never became close pals like we are now. seeing your posts makes my day. i'm really happy we are friends.

@dragetunge - MY DEAREST KRIS. we've been through a couple rocky roads together now but we stick together. it's really nice to talk to you. you are the reason i got into httyd. so thank you for that. i wouldn't have took the time if it wasnt for you and I REALLY NEEDED TO. you are essentially the dragon enthusiast of tumblr. i mean that like. literally. when i think of dragon enthusiasts i think of you. fgckjkfg I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KRIS. i cant wait to actually show you my island on dreamlight when it is a fully decked out like yours.

@solehr - sef, i miss you. i cant wait for you to come back and see that i wrote this for you kffdjdf i cannot forget you on this list. you and nini were the first disney blogs to welcome me. thank you for being my friend and allowing me to send you that ghibli movie dkffdj it's been such a pleasure knowing you. i hope for many more memories together. :)

@swevene - DEAREST KELSEY .. my belovedddd. i love our convos even when we are busy for an extended period of time. you check on me every so often and its really an honor to consider you a friend. thank you for being there, i really appreciate it. i hope we have many more memories !!! your beast is so important to my belle, i have to tell you. <3

@oudachi - aka my favorite ark .. in all locations of your blogs .. i could tag literally all of them rn but im not going to dkfjdf we joke about how we always come back together over the years. it doesn't really ??? matter how long we don't talk bc fate brings us back. our first meeting was back in 2015 and i remember you were the realest person i had ever met on this site. that has not changed. i think that more folks should understand how brilliant you are .. not only as a writer , but as a friend. you never leave people out. i've been left out before and it's a very terrible feeling. thank you for allowing me into your circle again after a bit of time of not talking. we picked up like it was such a short time of us not chatting like we were bffs again. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am. seeing you thrive as well OH MAN .. i love that.

@chainmemories - toma, at this point it has to be obvious but when i came back .. you were the first to show me great excitement. making a blog after an extended leave on the site is a scary thing. it is like walking into the lion's den tbh dkfjfk plus there were a ton of big changes to tumblr so i didn't know where to start. it was scary. you wrote cuphead at this time. i've grown to really love cuphead and many other things because of you. playing mario party at least weekly is such a GENUINE pleasure. you make me feel like i have a place in the community. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am that you are here and backing me up. i also hope that you know you are this shining star of every community you go into. there is not a community you haven't touched that you haven't left your mark on. of course my precious toma is the sunshine protag lover .. but he is also the sunshine protag in my opinion. i don't take criticism. I LOVE YOU.

@ghostbustingreen - spooky, I LOVE YOU. being in the posse with toma and you has been so so wonderful. i am grateful i get to talk to you on the daily about our interests. seeing you write our fav green plumber is wonderful YES YES. every muse you capture is brilliant though. i love writing with you on multiple of your blogs. simbaaaaaaaa. P.S. i am sorry for our latest party shindig where i continued to take the star away from you. i hope you can forgive me. i really hope our group goes strong for a long time because you guys always make me feel so much better.

@dnangelic - HI FAVVVV. thanks for putting up with me changing blogs on you so many times and still deciding to follow me and look forward to my muses. we are SO BACK on haru tbh. i love writing with you. you have such a grasp on your muse and i don't even know him that well. i wish i knew MORE tbh. the things that we have written though are truly precious and i look forward to future threads. i look forward to your responses truly. thanks for being my friend and also always hyping me up.

@matryochka - i cannot forget my favorite hype queen. dottie, you and i met in dc. you decided to follow me on my other blogs and genuinely messaged me when i was inactive there saying pretty much where tf are u dfkdjkfd WHICH I LOVE THAT. i wish more people would show interest in mutuals they care about that way. im trying to recruit you into our disney princess line up . it'll happen i know it. please know i love you so much. our little conversations are everything to me.

@jokethur - jess .. my beloved. also a hype queen and someone i met in dc. i love you. we don't talk too much rn but you are forever important to me. our conversations got me through some really dark points in my life and i can't begin to say how grateful i am for that. i hope that we have many more memories of chatting. always know i am here and ready to chat. we could stop talking for months and pick up just like that. that's how strong our friendship is <333 i love you. AND GIVE DIX A KISS FOR ME.

@pearlcure - DIORRRR my beloved. being your friend is a true genuine pleasure. IT IS PREDESTINED WE MET. we write the best girls out there. good for us. i love our convos and i love how real you are about everything. your graphics, writing, everything ABOUT YOU is amazing. im grateful we are friends and i hope for many more years together !!

@story-magic - AKA ALL OF YOUR BLOGS HERE AS WELL .. but my darling sleepy. i call you sleepy. i know that you have a name but you will forever by my favorite sleepy sloth. you keep things fair for us in the game. if i ever get down on my luck in party, you try to even the odds for me. i am so so grateful to be your friend. i know i don't tell you enough over discord and the like and you leave me a bunch of cute messages to make my day, but BEING YOUR FRIEND IS A TRUE PLEASURE i've gotta tell ya. i'm really happy we are so close !!! <3 i hope for many more memories.

@0brighta - big shoutout to you, ettie. <3 i know we arent super close but you putting me in your little shoutout post made me really feel so grateful. your blog is this shining, brilliant star. i mean that. like, DANG. shine bright like a diamond. i see that people love you and there is a reason for this believe me - you are so pure. so good natured. i wish more people were like you with their mutuals. letting people know that they matter is something a lot of people do not do tbh. you do that. thank you. <3

@naru-uzumaki - NOODLES .. we are back in action after such a long time of not talking. you and i were close back in 2016 i think?? somewhere close to there. when i saw your blog pop back up in my recommended, I LITERALLY RAN TO FOLLOW because i missed you so much. you are still this positive radiant little sun on the dash .. much like your muse. i am bias absolutely but. your writing and your heart for our favorite ramen lover is such a pleasure to witness. never ever change please. <3

[italicized-oh]

hi oh my gosh welcome back!! glad to hear you finished your dissertation omfg congratulations!! for prompts, idk how specific you wanted/what you were looking for, but how about jace and porter getting caught by one of their coworkers while theyre "on a date" in bastion city (theyre actually there for [handwavey evil plan reasons] but yknow. they need a cover)?

oh rip i did not finish dissertation i finished one part of it 😭 but i am putting her aside now bc im sick of her. we're getting a divorce so i can come back to her door in 2 months weeping. but i digress

mmmmm. yes. i love this prompt it's delicious for me in particular. In my head this is early in their, um, collaboration. Jace doesn’t quite have the hang of manipulating Porter yet, but boy does Porter have his number.

Jace has a headache. This isn’t surprising, because he’s out with Porter on a school night in the godawful sports bar they always go to because it’s the best place to not be overheard. Which means that it’s so fucking loud in here he can feel the sound in his teeth. Which means that he’s approximately twelve minutes away from swallowing down a surge and fucking up his blood pressure. Again. 

Which means, of course, that the only thing that could make this planning session-cum-torture hour better for Jace is if someone saw him and Porter together, in a booth, on a Thursday, heads bent together, very obviously not watching the pro bloodrush championship something-or-other that every other person is screaming their heads off about.

“Jace, Porter, how lovely to see you!” Jace grits his teeth together even harder at the smirk already curling across Porter’s lips, allowing himself one moment of sheer, blind rage at the cruel whims of the universe. And then he puts on a smile that says just how happy he is to see his coworkers outside work, because he is a kind and genuine person and definitely not fighting a migraine and plotting the end of the world with Solace’s newest god of rage.

“Lucilla, darling, how are you? You look stunning, as always,” Porter kicks Jace under the table, “and Zara, of course, hello.” Jace lets more of his teeth out into his smile as he turns to Zara, because she, at least, should know better. She’s wearing a smug grin and has her arm wrapped around Lucilla, toying idly with the taffeta bunched at her hip. Eyes dancing, Zara glances between Jace and Porter, and Jace can watch in real time as she starts connecting dots that do not exist to be connected.

“Love, I think we’re interrupting–” is all Zara gets out (that bitch, Jace is going to hex her shelf in the faculty lounge fridge so all her blood turns into Kool-Aid) before Lucilla is gushing about Ruben’s recent developments to Jace.

“Really, he’s made such progress, I can’t thank you two enough for taking him under your wing. I–” Jace tunes Lucilla out, smiling and nodding in all the right places, and subtly Messages Porter.

If you don’t have a way to end this in the next fifteen seconds I’m going to kill everyone in this room and then myself. Porter sips at his beer, seemingly unaffected, having some kind of nonverbal something with Zara, which really shouldn’t make Jace as upset as it does, except he has a headache rapidly developing into a migraine and is being forced to engage in niceties about Ruben Hopclap of all his students, why not one of the competent Rat Grinders, or even Kipperlily. Gods, how is this his life.

Porter. Do. Something. Then a third Message, just for drama. Please.

It’s always a little creepy to Jace when Porter turns on the charm, because even from their relatively few interactions so far, Jace knows that charisma means very different things to different people. Case in point:

“Ah, Lucilla,” Porter says with an indulgent smile (indulgent? What the hell does he have to indulge?). “I’m afraid Ms. Sool is correct; as wonderful as I know your company is, Stardiamond here gets tetchy when people interrupt our alone time.” 

(Gods. fucking. damnit. This is what Jace gets for letting Porter do the talking. Next time, Jace is just fucking Teleporting away or something.)

Porter’s hand covers Jace’s atop the table (fully covers, Jace does not observe, because why would he) and presses down with just this side of too much pressure as he continues. “It’s a full time job keeping him satisfied, you know, or I’m sure we’d love to keep chatting.” Jace feels the bones of his fingers creak as Porter increases the force of his hand on Jace's. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” 

Jace barely manages a nod, his brain fuzzed over in some mix of confusion, fury, and- probably nothing else.

Lucilla’s eyebrows creep up her forehead (almost as high as Zara’s have), and she turns a fascinating shade of periwinkle. Putting a hand to her chest with a (truly unnecessary, if you ask Jace) gasp, she says, “Oh, oh, dear, thank you for saying something, Porter, you know how I ramble on, I’m just so impressed by– oh, and there I go again!” Lucilla’s laugh is musical, because of course it is, and her whole body ripples with it.

(Jace isn’t watching, of course, but he is watching Porter watching, which he refuses to think about until this weekend. Maybe next.)

“Anyway, we’ll leave you two to it, won’t we, babe?” She turns into Zara’s arms, and Zara throws a triumphant wink Jace’s way as they depart. He stares daggers at her back, already weighing whether or not to make this a thing he has to talk about with Porter, whose hand is still covering Jace's.

At least, Jace thinks, his maybe-fractured fingers are distracting him from the throbbing pain in his skull. Fucking hell.

[mayhem-neverending]

The Big Bad Wolf

Part XI

Word Count: 4,228

Warnings: Mentions of death

Note: Lights, Camera, Action! Don't mind the beginning, please and thanks. And Obito is in this part, don't worry.

Once again sitting across from him, Kakashi had the space to collect himself. He was internally reeling from your warmth and delicious smell, the ghost of your touch lingering in his hair. You appeared largely unaffected, but happy with the interaction.

A buzzing from his pocket stole his attention. He pulled it out and opened it, seeing a string of notifications. Two were from Genma, one was from Guy. He opened Guy’s first.

Rival!! I just heard you came to your paramour’s rescue!!! Is it true!!?? You are truly HEROIC!!

Kakashi opted to ignore that for the moment and opened Genma’s messages.

I thought you said you guys werent together

does that mean ur coming to my bday party too?

An irritated sigh exited his nose. His irritation clashed, however, with the excitement he felt from your conversation. He tucked his phone away without bothering to answer and only smiled at your questioning brow.

“How did Obito like meeting Hikaru?” He asked pleasantly.

“I think he was a little unsure at first, but he came around towards the end I think,”

“That sounds about right,”

“I really need you to get him a phone. I would hate for me or Hikaru to be sick and I don’t have any way to get a hold of him,”

“Makes sense. I’ll look into it tomorrow,”

“Thanks,”

You mirrored Kakashi as he sipped his sake. He looked around briefly before asking, “You don’t happen to have any of that food you were talking about earlier, do you?”

“No, I left it all with Obito. Are you hungry?”

“A little,”

“Well, I’m sure Obito’ll be happy to see you,” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Kicking me out?”

“Never. I just think it would be good for him to see you. He’s been doing a lot better, and I think he’d be proud to show you his progress,”

He thought for a moment. “Not tonight. I’ll make some time tomorrow though, okay?”

You grinned. “That’d be great, Kakashi.”

“And you’re welcome to my fridge, if you want. I don’t really have the energy to cook right now,”

“What do you have?”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Go look,”

He kept his drink in his hand while he got up to look. You followed him, your own drink in one hand and phone in the other. You set them down and hoisted yourself onto the counter. You settled yourself and opened up your phone. You hadn't heard it go off but you figured you might as well check.

You were glad you did. There was a message from Hina, your cousin… And a missed call from Toma, but you weren’t going to give that one any of your energy.

hey no worries here im with my aunt. the one w dementia near the border. Ill lyk if anything happens but im sure itll all be okay

thanks for worrying abt me tho. r u coming when I give birth still? im due in like 2 weeks

“Fuck,”

Kakashi looked back at you from where he was bent over, placing a bake-able tupperware container in the oven. “Hm? What’s wrong,”

“A. I forgot I told Hina I would be there when she gave birth, and B. She didn’t take my warning seriously… The upside is that she isn’t near her husband’s compound, though. She’s on the western border, closest to us.”

“You should tell her to stay there. It’ll be easier to extract her in case of an emergency.”

You did just that, and told her you would try to find a sitter for Hikaru so you could be there for her. To her it was just a loving family member there to help her; for you it was an extra set of eyes and capable hands there to protect her. If the Zen’in Clan stirred up trouble, like they always did when things didn’t go in their favor, it would compromise the safety of her and her baby.

“Would I be able to take off for that?” You asked Kakashi, who was leaning against the counter opposite you, his feet crossed at the ankle in front of him.

“For her baby’s birth?”

“Yeah,”

He tilted his chin down and his thin brows furrowed. “I don’t know, Y/n. It would be incredibly dangerous for you to go into a country that is in such a politically tumultuous state right now,”

You grumbled, but didn’t push the subject further. You would have to play it by ear, anyway.

The next morning your son woke you extra early. He wasn't allowed to go to school until twenty-four hours after his fever had subsided, so you had convinced your grandma to take him for the day before you had gone to bed.

You got up slowly and went about your usual routine. The morning was incredibly bright from the sun reflecting off the surface of the white snow. Before you left, you tried to find a pair of sunglasses, but only found Hikaru’s half-bent ones. He didn’t care for your attempt at putting them in his toy bin and took them from you, smashing them on his face until they balanced enough for him to walk around with them.

Your grandma was closer to the forest than the daycare was, so you had taken a little extra time getting out the door. You styled your hair differently and chose a nicer set of warm clothes - a more fitted sweater and jeans. You wouldn’t admit it, but you knew deep down who you were trying to look nice for.

The walk took longer than you had anticipated since you had forgotten to factor in Hikaru’s desire to stomp around in the freshly fallen snow. You let him dig his toes in and drag his feet and shove his little hands in it in wonder; choosing to be patient and appreciate the sheer joy lighting up his chubby face.

Waiting in the front window, your grandmother watched as you two approached until you opened the front gate. She opened the door and called for Hikaru with a delighted smile.

“My boy! I haven’t seen you in what feels like 50 years!” She exclaimed dramatically.

He wasn’t giving her any attention, opting to plop straight down into the snow and giggle. You shook your head with a smile and hoisted him up, effectively covering yourself in the snow that came with him.

You handed him off to your grandma, told her you loved her and kissed Hikaru on both cheeks, repeating the same phrase to him. You waved goodbye and made a swift exit.

Obito was worried you might not make it But there he was, standing in his window, watching you take dramatically large steps as you trudged through the deep snow. The scene put a massive grin on his face. He courteously opened his front door for you when got close enough.

“Good morning,” you untied your boots on the front step, sliding your feet out and hopping into the cottage.

“Good morning!” He replied cheerily, shutting the door behind you.

“Somebody’s in a good mood,”

He thought you were being sarcastic, but you smiled up at him warmly, even if it didn’t quite reach your eyes. You smacked the snow off your boots and pulled them inside, letting him close the door behind you. Instead of your usual route to the kitchen, you veered off the path and tossed yourself on the couch.

“Walking in that snow really wore me out,”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “So, that means you get to slack off on the clock?”

“Of course,” you patted the seat next to you with a little smile. “Come slack off with me?”

He settled onto the cushion next to you, turning his body so that he was facing you. A comfortable silence surrounded the two of you for a few short minutes. He studied your profile while you stared at the fire, obviously lost in thought.

“I had an interesting evening after I left yesterday,”

“Oh?”

“My ex’s new girlfriend harassed me outside of the apothecary, then Kakashi shows up and tells me that Akujia has outlawed all forms of chakra control!”

“Shit, are you serious?” he leans back, his smile slipping.

“Dead,”

“That is not good,”

You nodded in agreement. “My cousin, Hina, still lives there, but when I told her she should consider moving here she just kinda blew me off. She doesn’t - I don’t know how to put this without seeming like an ass - but she… lac- has chosen.. not to.. hone.. her critical thinking skills. God I sound like a shitty person, but in short, I’m genuinely worried about her and her baby,”

“Is she a chakra-user?”

“No, but her baby is the heir of the Zen’in clan,”

His brows shot up and he made a face like he was impressed. “No shit? Good for her,”

His comment lightened the mood, and you threw him a playful smile. “I know, right? She’s really got it made. Her husband not only loves her, like, intensely, but he’s loaded, attractive, and with the servants, the girl never even has to lift a finger,”

“Hm, does sound pretty nice,” he rested the side of his head on the back of the couch. “Is that what you want?”

“Which part?”

You enjoyed your view of him. His black hair, which needed another trim, was still moussed up a bit from sleep, and the depth of his eyes was revealed in the stream of sunlight illuminating him. The warmth of the sun softened his sharp features, and he looked absolutely charming the way he was smiling at you. He licked his lips before he spoke, drawing your attention to them. Despite being slightly chapped, you thought they looked awfully silky. You briefly wondered what he would do if you reached out and touched them.

“Attractive, loaded, the servants - is that what you want in a man?”

The seriousness of his tone had you giggling. You shook your head ‘no’. “The love part is the most important to me. I don’t particularly want servants, but money is definitely a perk. I like feeling financially secure, for sure,”

“Attractiveness?”

You raised your brow. He was looking at you attentively, like this was a very important conversation. It made you feel a little weird, but you answered honestly, “In general, I find a lot of people attractive, but in an objective way. I rarely find people that I’m attracted to. And that’s what’s important to me. Someone could tell me they don’t think who I’m dating is all that good looking, but it doesn’t matter all that much to me, because I’m attracted to them as a whole person, y’know? Not just their looks,”

He nodded like you had just given him some profound insight. You, now curious because of his strange behavior, turned the question around on him. “What is important to you in a woman?”

You rested your cheek on your fist. He looked a bit scattered at having been asked the same thing. “Uh, well,”

He cleared his throat and looked away from you. In a flat tone, he muttered, “Dunno, haven’t really thought about it,”

A frown tugged at your lips and you looked at him in puzzlement. “In all your life, you haven’t really thought about it?”

With downcast eyes, he replied, “That’s a conversation for another day,”

You nodded, accepting his answer for the time being. You stood and stretched your arms over your head. “Well, it’s pretty late, how about brunch?”

“Whatever you want,” he replied with a shrug, easing back into his lighter tone.

“I love it when you say that,” you winked.

He followed you into the kitchen in his normal fashion, leaning against the counter-top and taking up your precious little prep space. It didn’t matter how many times you had to move him around the kitchen while you worked, he always stayed if he wasn’t preoccupied with anything else.

He made himself comfortable, folding his arms over his chest and leaning heavily into the counter. He looked intimidating like this sometimes; his mouth set in a firm line while he silently watched.

He wore a black t-shirt, rather than his usual long-sleeve, and you wondered once again about his arms being two completely different colors. What really caught your attention, though, was the muscle definition. You had a hard time tearing your gaze away from the well defined-lines; only narrowly avoiding him catching you by quickly reaching beside him to grab a cutting board.

“I’m thinking extra protein today. How about Eggs Benedict, but make it with chicken cause we don’t have ham?”

“Hm, as long as you fry the chicken like you did last time, I’m game,”

“Oh, that was a new recipe. You liked that?”

“Oh, yeah,” he replied mischievously. “I liked it, ‘like a lot’,”

“You little shit,” you said with a grin.

He laughed at your expense, but you enjoyed his teasing. He was absolutely wonderful to be around whenever he wore his goofy grin. For the first time, you blushed when he aimed it at you.

Feeling a little hot and a host of butterflies in your stomach, you looked away from him and busied yourself with starting brunch. He talked to you about a new quilting project he was sketching out while you pulled everything you needed out. He was animated, drawing the shapes in the air with his finger in an attempt to better convey his vision.

You told him to just get the paper he drew it on with a laugh, and he went off into the living room in search of it among the scraps. You shook your head to yourself, wondering how you could be so happy just listening about his excitement over his project.

You were beginning to remove the bones from the raw chicken when your phone started to ring loudly. Your bag was in the living room so you asked Obito to grab it really quickly for you. He trotted over with it and you asked him who it was.

“Uh, Hina. That’s your cousin, right?”

Anxiety flared in your chest, “Answer it, put it on speaker, please,”

He answered and clicked the speaker button, standing close to you and holding it near your face so you could speak clearly into it. You answered, “Hey,”

“Hi,” she answered in an unnaturally high, broken pitch and you immediately stopped what you were doing, your body stilling while your heart-rate increased.

“Hina?” You asked slowly.

“I-” she cut herself off with a sudden burst of loud, uncontrollable sobbing.

You dropped your knife and pushed Obito over with your hip to get access to the sink. You turned it on and called her name again, but it only caused her to let out a guttural sob that pierced straight through your chest. You hurriedly washed your hands and wiped them on your jeans, grabbing the phone from Obito.

“Hey, hey, Hina? What’s going on?”

You heard shaky breathing on the other end and assumed she was attempting to get enough control to speak, but only seconds later she let out another sharp cry. Your wide eyes met with Obito’s. Something bad happened, obviously, and your mind conjured up image after cruel image. Your hands began to shake almost imperceptibly as adrenaline coursed through you.

“Hina, sweetie. I’m right here. Please, can you tell me what’s going on?”

“I-”

“Take a deep breath with me?”

She made a noise and you started. “In… out…”

After a single breath, she screeched, “They killed him!”

Her uncontrollable sobs were let loose once again, cut up by sharp, ragged breaths. “The. Oh God..-”

On the other end you heard retching, and your hand unconsciously covered your mouth. Your heart dropped into your stomach and your shaking worsened. Your feet were glued to the floor, eyes unfocused on the cabinet in front of you. All of your senses dulled except your hearing, focusing so you could catch any words she tried to get out between heaves. Every noise she made was amplified and rang in your ears.

In between her heaving she breathlessly got out, “The clan… The meeting..”

You assumed she finished vomiting and you listened to her struggle to breathe in and out. “They massacred the clan! Javi’s dead!”

“Where are you?” you asked urgently.

“Still-still with my aunt,”

“Stay there, do you hear me?”

“But-”

“Stay. There. I will come get you,”

There was complete silence on the other end of the line. You waited with baited breath, staring into nothing.

You had never heard her sound smaller than when she asked, “How long?”

You had to pause for a moment; your mind blanking as her voice gutted you. As quickly as you could, you did the math in your head, your heart aching for her. “Two days,”

She sniffled, and a tremor of fear rang through her voice as she asked, “You promise?”

“I promise,” you replied with sincerity.

After a beat, you calmly said, “I have to make a couple calls, okay?”

“I’m scared,” she cried.

“I’m so, so sorry, Hina. This should have never happened to you, and I know it’s hard, but you need to stay as calm as you can for your baby, okay?”

She cried softly on the other end. After a long pause she finally said, “Okay,”

“I’m hanging up now. I’ll be in contact with you later.” You hit the ‘end call’ button, almost missing from the shaking of your hands.

Immediately, you called Kakashi. You finally regained the ability to move, and paced up and down the room as the phone rang. It rang and rang.. and went to voicemail. You took the phone away from your ear and fervently hit the call button again. Your pace increased as it rang and you held the phone in an iron-grip.

He answered. “Hey, I can’t really-”

“They killed the Zen’in clan,” you blurted.

Before he had a chance to respond, you hurriedly gave him the short version of your previous call. There was muted talking in the background and a short, agonizing silence before he spoke to you again.

“Listen, I can’t just send you out on your own. This isn’t just a matter of family; the Zen’in are important people and your cousin is carrying the last living member as far as we’re aware. I have no doubt that someone will come after her to finish the job they started if they find out she’s still alive,”

“Obito can come with me,” you rushed out before your mind could even process.

“Y/n. I can’t. He’s on house arrest, the council-”

“They don’t have to know. Besides, he’s stronger than the rest of the jounin, and everyone’s busy. Please, Kakashi,” you reasoned.

You looked at Obito out of the corner of your eye, and slowly registered that his eyes were glossed over. He likely wasn’t hearing any of your conversation.

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Y/n,”

Hina’s broken sobs reverberated in your mind, and a sense of desperation rose from your chest into your throat.

Your voice broke as you begged, “Please,”

Silence, and then, “Go home, change into your uniform, and bring your gear. Pack a separate civilian outfit. Meet me back at Obito’s when you’re done. No more than two hours; this has to be done quickly,”

“Yes, sir. Thank you,”

You pulled your phone away to end the call when he asked, “What will you do with Hikaru?”

“Fuck!” You raked your fingers over your scalp.

“Just. Fucking Toma can take him,”

“Are you sure?”

You huffed in frustration. “He won’t listen to me if I try to talk to him, but no one else can keep him for four plus days. Can you- would you call him at work or something? Please, for me? He’d probably listen to you,”

“Okay, I’ll try,”

“Thank you.” You hung up the phone.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. When you opened them, Obito was standing in front of you. His face was deeply lined with worry. He hesitantly reached out in an attempt to comfort you, but stopped midway, unsure of himself. You breached the gap, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and burying your face into his chest.

“That was…” he trailed off.

He awkwardly tried to comfort you by patting your shoulder while his other arm circled around your back. The exchange was brief; you backed away and hastily made for your coat and boots by the front door. While shoving your feet in your boots, you vaguely heard him trailing after you.

“Less than two hours,” you said, now slinging on your coat.

“What?”

“I’ll be back here in less than two hours. Kakashi’s coming, so be ready to go,”

“Ready to go?”

You stopped unlatching the door and looked at him over your shoulder, becoming frustrated as you felt the clock ticking. “Yes, Obito. You’re coming with me. Have an outfit packed, I assume Kakashi will bring the rest of what you need,”

He stared at you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, but you chose not to respond. Instead, you flung open the door and slammed it shut behind you. You sprinted through the snow covered path to your apartment, and, when you hit the village, you jumped between the rooftops despite the snow, hurrying as fast as you could.

In your apartment, you ripped your closet door open and pulled out a few storage bins that contained all of your shinobi equipment. It was one of the few things from your past you fought Toma tooth and nail to keep, and you could never have been more grateful to your past self for standing her ground.

You found your winter uniform at the bottom of the second bin. You pulled on a black, long-sleeve compression shirt. Over that you wore your kusari gusoku, or the protective chain-mail most ninja wore under their clothes. You pulled on the standard pants with leggings underneath for added warmth, and black boots. You added a thin, but incredibly warm, water resistant hooded jacket that clung to you comfortably.

Taking a seat on your bed, you added white tape to your leg. While rolling it on, you smacked your hand against something hard. You reached into one of your many pockets and to your surprise, found a hidden kunai mechanism; a spring-loaded wire that allows the user to extend and retract kunai from their sleeve instantly. You placed it back where you found it, just in case, and finished the wrappings.

Instead of the regular issued sandals, you pulled on the lesser used, but still military issued, black boots. They formed to your feet perfectly - they had always been your favorite pair of shoes, and the feeling brought in a wave of memories. You had to push them away while you continued, but the nostalgia lingered.

Tying the hitai-ate around your neck was the last piece of the puzzle. The weight of it felt right, a familiar heaviness that steadied your racing thoughts. You wanted to look in your full length mirror, but knowing you would distract yourself, you readied your weapons, tools, and pack first. They were all in one place, so it took only a few minutes to distribute what you needed to your pockets and the rest to your bag. Before you decided to call it good, you went into your bathroom and tossed in some of your first aid stuff, since your old kit hadn’t been touched in years.

Packing a couple outfits (an extra for Hina, just in case), shoes, and basic everyday necessities took up the rest of your time. The apartment looked like a tornado had run through it when you had finally closed the zipper, but you hardly glanced at it. You pulled your bag strap over your shoulder, and an overwhelming sense of anxiety slammed into your gut.

As if in a trance, you went back into your bedroom closet, and pulled out one of Hikaru’s baby blankets and an old swaddle. In the back of your mind you reprimanded yourself for using up space for something that would likely prove useless, but you couldn’t help yourself. Your anxiety had always led you to pack for ‘just in case’ scenarios, and you wouldn’t be changing this time.

Before you put it back on, you allowed yourself one glance in the mirror. The woman who stared back at you was a person you had never expected to see again. Tears welled in your eyes because for the first time in years, you fully recognized the person in the mirror. There was hardly any change, physically. You looked a little older, the dark circles under your eyes a little darker, your hands a little softer, maybe even a little wiser, but all in all, you looked like you, again. Or at least a version you had loved.

You covered your mouth as a quiet, relieved sob spilled out. You blamed your tears on your heightened emotions, and quickly wiped them away. You gave your reflection a watery smile, and waved at yourself like you were greeting an old friend. You tore yourself away before you could get lost in it and headed back to Obito’s.

Part XII

Tag List: @mostlyunsure, @humongousdreamlandbear, @ichaichahatake

[hisui-dreamer]

ok so i accidentally forgot about these messages cuz i got really sick lol, but i wanted to reply to some of these so here's a two week late response!!

this post is a bit long so sorry about that!!

also im sorry if i confused anyone for anyone else ahaha, if you'd like to be tagged, you can comment below so i can identify you!!

this is part 1!

@somany-fandoms-solittle-time i think this is you? correct me if im wrong hehe

thank you so much!! i always love seeing you pop up in my notifs haha, i hope you'll have a great year too!!!🎉🎊🎊

@amaribelt im always so so so happy when i talk to you mari💕💕!!! i love seeing the stuff you send me hahaha! dw you're more fun than imposter jade hehe

@v-anrouge i hope this was the letter you mentioned hehe

hello love!! i adore the ornament you picked! it's so cute that i want to cradle it in my hands!! ahaha, maybe for next year, i should crochet some mushroom ornaments for you, i'd love to hear about what mushrooms you'd like.

id be so honoured to celebrate with your family! your invitation is most welcome and i can't wait to visit coral sea again! i should prepare some gifts for your family, would you mind telling me what they'd like?

(don't worry you did great with jade!! this was such a sweet letter i loved it so so much lakdhsjksla💕✨)

im glad they could cheer you up!! thank you for your sweet wishes, i hope you'll have a great year ocean!!

@azulashengrottospiano aubbie!!! this was so sweet i couldn't stop smiling aldhhakahdka. i know we don't talk as much now but im still so excited to see you on my feed and see what new fictional guy is spinning in your head hahaha. i feel like i can always go to you for advice and it's like you're a trustworthy older sister hehe. thank you so much for being you and always being so enthusiastic and welcoming!! im so glad i met you haha💕💕

aww thank you!! im glad to be contributing to the fandom haha!!

@spadecentral BITES YOU BACK!!! have a great year eli💕🎉🎉

hi moca! thank you for the message!! im glad my portrayal of the twst bois and my silliness could bring you joy hehe!! also you like my diction🥹💕💕 that's such a compliment omg thank you!! it makes me so happy my fic could cheer you up! i hope my writing will continue to be a source of comfort for you💕💕 have a great year!

@dove-da-birb it's funny you say get plenty of rest cuz i ended up getting a fever 💀 ANYWAYS i hope you enjoyed the holidays and you'll have a great year elder sibling💕

also idk man the twst bois are weird 😭

!!!OMG WHATS IN THE BOXXXX

@amaribelt im assuming this is you??

MERRY CRISIS!!!

[according2thelore]

wait i have more to say. i saw someone else say that youre their favorite wincest writer and i just need to raise my hand and say ME TOO!!!!

i only VERY recently admitted to my best friend that i ship them and when i was reading house song i was going NUTS and i NEEDED to talk about it. so i ended up sending my friend a 10 minute long voice message going through the plot and how beautifully written it is and how its fucking me up!!!!!! im going crazy and shaking dean just SHOT HIS DAD!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! and my friend was like holy fuck that fic sounds crazy but in a good way and they dont ship it but i think they at least get it now lmfao because wow.

and deans guilt over the life he has given sam. an orphan living on a mattress with no money and just his fucked up older brother. goddamn. i want to hug dean. and sam thinking the worst that dean left him like dad. but then ultimately realizing there is literally NOTHING dean wouldnt do to reach him. its just so cathartic and OH THE FLASHBACK TO BABY SAM. ‘no boo boos?’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and then then the parallel because sam is covered in blood again and it ISNT HIS. NO BOO BOOS!!!!!!! but he is so so so hurt oh my goddddd

im sorry im so feral about you i just dont have the magical talent with words that you do. like deans admission and saying that the word falls out of his mouth like a dead body hits the ground????? how can i even attempt to match your beautiful fucking mind. ugh. i wont recover from this. your an inspiration for real. okay i will leave you alone now thank you for the brain worms

HELLO!!

GUH the hits keep COMING!!!!!!

i am giggling and kicking my feet that you explained my fic to a FRIEND HOLY SHIT!!!!! oh to hear this voice message lol <3

i had to read this ask series out loud to charlotte, who was also giggling and kicking her feet on my behalf.

i am so glad you found it believable! that was one of the biggest struggles for me, and i liked the boys' characterization in this one, so i'm so sososo happy that you did too!!!!!

i've never done this before, but i thought since you like it, you might find the planning process interesting! i don't do outlines for all of my fics, just the really hefty ones (the heaven fic, this one, and a few others), and i've found this helps me a lot! you can see some things that i've cut or changed. charlotte and i usually plan these out over face time, lol, and she was mostly asleep through this entire planning one (in her defense, she had been working all day). i hope you find it interesting!

i hope you don't think less of me now that you know i wrote that they "boink" 🙏 it was like two in the morning. also handwriting reveal? omg?

anon, i've said it before but i'll say it again--THANK YOU SO MUCH🥺🥺🥺🥺 uno reverse card as well bc folks like you encourage/inspire authors to keep writing!

i always love hearing which parts folks like best, and this fed me for months to come!!!!!!

and please feel welcome to come back and scream with me about these two any time the mood hits you, lol!

-lizzy BELIEVE IT OR NOT BECAUSE ANON IS TRYING TO MELT ME this is 2/3!!!!!!

(house song, the fic in question for anyone curious!)

[tequila-starlight]

*slams door again* HELLO I RETURNED

just came from chapter 2 of the chiefs fic! the sexual tension alone made my toes curl i am v v v v v v excited to see what happens in the next chapter i cannot WAIT

mutota is honestly so cute, he’s also taller than the tall male characters! (checked with neuvillette) his hat is a lil ridiculous but i adore him all the same. also when you talk to him he says something like “scars are a reminder of past mistakes” and he’s all scarred up like SIR 😭

i havent finished the night wind quest yet but i took one look at biram and was like omfg is that even gonna fit???? but its kinich so with the power of lust i believe in him!

also im so glad you like the men in the other hoyoverse games! currently am in love with lighter from zenless he has me kicking and screaming

ANYWAY THIS MESSAGE IS TOO LONG BUT YOUR FIC IS DELICIOUS THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US AGAIN

HELLO WELCOME BACK I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE!!! Thank you so much for the kind words!!! I love long messages so no need to worry about that hehe 😜

I’m really happy you enjoyed chapter 2!! The next chapter is finally going to be the smut and it is LONG 😳 So yeah I can’t wait to see your reaction to it!!!

Rest of my answer is under the cut! Forgive me for rambling but I can’t help it HAHA

I’m aware that Mutota is taller than the other male characters (You have no idea how long I spent jumping around the four male chiefs with Kinich HAHA) and YES I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! The chiefs are just getting taller and taller like Wayna is taller than Amina (Obviously) and Pacal, but then Mutota rolls up and then boom!!! Biram!! We’ll just have to wait and see about the Collective of Plenty’s chief. It’s unlikely but imagine if they’re even taller than Biram HAHAHA

You’re so right that Mutota is super cute!! The hat is indeed very silly but honestly it grew on me 😆 And his SCARS!!! I re-read all the chiefs dialogues over and over to the point I can recite them by heart tbh and his is so!!! Mysterious!! Like it is general wise words but the implications!!!

I still love all the dialogues you can get by talking to the chiefs. Here are my very bad, very inaccurate, very flanderized summaries of them:

Pacal: So actually my weight comes from a period of traumatic stress eating from failed dreams and expectations but everything’s fineeeeeee now 😊 (Uncle Pacal I will defend you with my life. Look at me in the eye and tell me ‘My determination is just like my weight — they are both here to stay.’ is not peak writing I dare you)

Amina: This tribe has only one competent person and that is ME (Hustling truly has no age… Amina my sweet smart scheming superstar… I swear she’s smarter than so many adults IRL… she’s a brat but she’s MY brat okay???)

Wayna: I’m not old I swear (Sure Uncle ‘You need to take risks when you're young, 'cause by the time you're my age, you couldn't attempt something like that even if you wanted to.’ I believe you wholeheartedly. We love a king in denial!!!)

Mutota: Yeah elitism is rampant in my tribe so I’m just waiting for them to learn it the hard way 😘 (Yessir whatever you say sir anything for you sir)

Biram: Want a straight answer from me? Too bad, I’m gay. You have a question for me? Why not you question the question. Question the answer to the question. Question the reason for questioning. Question everything. (He says it more ✨Mysteriously✨ but you get the gist)

Moving back to Mutota, he also talks about arrogance and how it doesn’t help on the battlefield, which makes me wonder if he was some cocky little shit when he was younger before he matured through the hard way into the reliable sexy figure we know and love…

Which brings me to the question HOW OLD IS HE 😭😭😭 Both he and Biram are really confusing my vibe check because I can’t decide if they’re in their late twenties (For Biram’s case, perhaps even younger) to late forties and I have NO clue… the first three chiefs didn’t give me this problem…

Forget Pyro Archon lore or Celestia lore or literally anything else I want CHIEF LORE!!! /hj

*START OF SPOILERS FOR THE INTERLUDE QUEST AND FLOWERS FEATHER TRIBAL CHRONICLES*

(I find it hilarious that among all the chiefs Mutota really got put through the wringer. First, his tribe gets hit the hardest by the abyss, and then shortly after his trusted elder literally incites a revolt and tries to, in his own words, arrest him. Not to mention all the Saurian torture and anti-Qucusaurus propaganda my man can NOT catch a break HAHAHA)

*SPOILERS END*

I’ll be vague about Biram since you haven’t finished the quest, but let me just say I adore his attitude on tradition. His personality (And I’ll admit, everything else about him too) was not what I expected but I love it!!! I regret not taking screenshots of him next to Kinich when he’s standing up (Does this count as a spoiler?? That he stands up at some point??) because I needed to refer to videos to try gauge his size properly… but cutscenes weren’t the best at displaying his angles unfortunately 😭

I tried to make his size as accurate as possible, but in the end of the day, we’re operating off hentai logic here so half of it is still me pulling stuff out of my butt. Speaking of butts, because the aforementioned logic Kinich will be fineeeeeee… right..? You’ll just have to wait and see HAHAHA

Moving away from Genshin, Lighter my beloved!!! From what I heard from my friend he sounds like peak mangst, which is great especially when the player character is Wise HAHAHAHA Also his music video is sooooooo good…

Anyways, thank you once more for the kind words!! I really appreciate messages like these!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Like before, have some cake for reading through everything!! 🍰🍰🍰

[crushingcasanova]

Hi there :) I’m so sorry for my late response , things have been pretty freakin hectic .. i am here now , don’t worry :)

listening to you talk about theatre is so … mesmerizing. i love listening to people in general but .. its just so fun listening to you talking about that knowing how deeply you care about it. how its part of your life. im just sorta enamored（≧∇≦）

i agree , i absolutely adore fine arts. i just can’t get into anything else. its so awesome that you make jewelry!! ive been trying to get fully into it , but i cant seem to find the exact beads i need. but trust when i do .. its gonna be awesome. i do a lot of arts and crafts , and I really adore coloring. ive tried drawing but .. im so terrible , and i just hate being bad at things.

i definitely would say that i love people’s flaws .. usually those things are my favorite things about them ^^ but at the same time , i tend to get myself into bad relationships , then stay because “i can fix it! we will be fine and in love because ill help them!!” i bet you can guess how that turns out .. </3 i also agree that in most situations .. i don’t like to reach out , even if in my heart I do want to. i get nervous , and at times feel like if I didn’t reach out , no one would talk to me .. so i self isolate. im glad that im welcome here .. even if im kinda jsut like , a random person that doesn’t matter and is just yapping … </3

ughhh repurposing is so nice and so fun .. it makes you feel like you’re worth something , yk , giving an old piece a new home. its so rewarding. thrifting and antiquing is always rewarding , because almost every time i go , i find something. i almost never leave one of those stores empty handed .. (im also a shopaholic so ..) but its awesome that you do resin work !! is that calming ??

thank you so much for your kind words , i did get a good amount of sleep last night <333333 i have a few questions :)

what’s your fashion sense?

do you have any pets?

that’s it. thank you so much for letting me be here , hun !!

-🎭

Hello Cheshire <3 I quite missed you, so I was really happy to see you in my inbox again! I hope you've been well, dearie :) I know you mentioned it was hectic, so I hope you get a moment to relax!

I'm very honored that you like to hear me talk about theater! It's one of my biggest passions, honestly, because I adore being on the stage. I'd love to hear some of your favorite musical takes too, if you ever would like to share. I've always been into deep analysis, and I've done a lot for the Phantom and the Great Gatsby in particular :) I was lucky enough to see these before they closed, too, so I like to comment on the staging and the acting from the amazing actors who played my favorites. It also is a big inspiration for a lot of my writing, like this Great Gatsby one I did a while back about the beauty of Gatsby's obsession :) I hope you get those beads soon! I just started working with beaded jewelry a while back, and I make these kind of big pieces for some of my friends. I gifted my beloved a set inspired by them a while back and mailed it to them, and I'm planning to make some for my friends this year. I am sure you're not as bad at drawing as you say, but I think I completely understand the thought behind it. That's why I'm not really a fan of math, since I can never get better at it ... but I'm trying :) coloring is fun too, though! I completely understand self isolation, I used to be like that but I've changed a lot :) my beloved really stressed the importance of communication and taught me how to be more vulnerable and open up, but it's been an uphill battle. I don't think you're a random person who doesn't matter, dear! You bring a smile to my face with your messages, and it means a lot to know you care enough to talk to me too :) I agree with repurposing things :D It is lovely to give them their own home, I agree. It's kind of cute that you think of it like that :) I also am a bit of a shopaholic too, but I'm quite picky, so I usually leave empty handed. My resin work is quite fun! I would say it's a bit relaxing, but only at certain points in the process. The designing and the unmolding is fun, but not the pouring, because it starts to solidify quickly. You have to work quickly and then let it cure overnight if it's not UV resin. It can get a bit stressful As for your questions:

My fashion style is very cutesy, I'd say! A lot of skirts and sweaters, I usually don't wear jeans or other forms of pants very much to be honest. I wear a lot of pinks, blacks, purples, etc. I also am a big jewelry wearer, so I have a lot of that, and I usually am kind of maximalist when it comes to outfits. I also always have cute matching purses when possible :) I used to be a bit more like, hot topic emo style when I was younger, and I still shop there, but definitely less. I also wear a lot of dresses! I'm very hyperfeminine, I'd say, at least fashion wise. I think there are some pics somewhere on this blog, that I did for a follower special, or maybe some in love letter? Not sure! How do you like to dress?

I also do have a pet! I have a little black dog named stella :) she's a little cute miniature schnauzer mix! Do you have any pets, dear?

I hope this finds you well! I was so excited to answer this, sorry it took me a minute! Definitely took me a while to yap ^^;

[faela404]

☆ The Library ☆

kazuha x gn! reader

prompt: - you and kazuha attend the same university, him being a english lit major and you being a person in stem😎 your paths never crossed until that day in the library…

*this is an smau so please do expect a lot of twitter posts and messages to read, there will be proper writing too but, it will mostly be that!!*

warning! light angst? y/n being too oblivious to realise their feelings🙄

masterlist- prev | next

☆ winter is coming ☆

12:34am

as always we sat comfortably together in the far corner of the library. it’s so quiet in here but the quiet is very much welcomed.

kazuha was silently reading through the final page of his essay, he looked so peaceful like this. his posture was relaxed as his eyes moved back and forth across the words on his screen. from this angle i could see every small little detail of his face- from his light freckles, to the small furrow in his brows as he read. my god this man is gorgeous.

we had decided to clean the last section of the library first as we figured it would tire us out a bit, we were completely right. i’m knackered right now, and i could tell kazuha is too.

“i think it’s done” he muttered as he turned towards me with a gentle smile, he always looked so lovely when such a small curve graced his face.

“that perfect! that means we’re completely done here then!” i exclaimed with a smile of my own finding peace on my own face

i begin to help kazuha pack up his own things as we head towards the large doors of the library

good i’m so happy i wont have to walk through these stupid doors every night

“i’ll hand this is in tomorrow morning, i really can’t thank you enough for your help y/n” carefully he reached out for me, pulling me gently into his embrace

my head found solace on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around my waist with such caution, almost as if he was afraid he’d hurt me

“i should be the one thanking you, i never would’ve finished without your help kazuha” we slowly pulled away from eachother as he began walking me back to my dorms

this had become some sort of routine, we’d finish up and he’d walk me back. however, he’d never hugged me before, it was new but definitely not unwelcome

this routine was about to be over forever

it all hit me like a ton of bricks

i’d said it as a joke before but it’s so likely we’d never see each other again. i mean sure we have each other’s numbers but i doubt we’d text much, we don’t have a reason too anymore

i didn’t want this to be over

but what could i do? we’d already said goodbye

he’s leaving

i just have to accept this.

a/n omg💀 im so sorry for the long ass break, i had a hell of a lot of exams this january, but thankfully i have a week off next week (and then more exams😀🔫)

i hope you enjoyed this part and i can assure you that the next 2 will be out v soon after these😉

also lets just all ignore that i forgot to change the times on the group chat texts-

take care of yourselves <33

taglist - open! @kazuhaprnt @ryhie @scaraapologist @thissoulisnotok @kazuhalvrr @rifran @sleepyhamster1001 @mccnstruck @micahmxi @whipped-for-fictionals @sashiette @kozumieee @lazy-sanns @mangobee @lez-zuha @kaoyamamegami @hedonesstuff @oliver-s-worlds @phoenix-eclipses @lisaslittle-helper @serafinaspost @richxelle

bold = blog not found

[hpdfag]

oh my god HII!! i’m back from my break and i’d say i’m actually feeling much better :) how have you been??

thank you for sending something! i promise that you don’t even need to but i was really happy you did even then, it just feels so nice that you put some time into it :} also SEVEN HOUR SHIFTS??? what the fuck are they doing to these poor seventeen sixteen year olds at mcdonald’s oh my god. i’m sure it’s incredibly exhausting?? i mean i don’t know how i’d go through that! but i also feel like the idea of getting “adult money” is quite nice knowing most of our lives even 50 was a lot from our parents, so there’s that. make sure to take breaks to balance that because it looks EXHAUSTING?? And with school even then…at least this year will be shorter for you from what you said i mean!! So good luck managing those hours and school. I won’t lie i’m a bit proud? i hope this doesn’t sound condescending but i just feel happy that you’re doing this step and like…growing up. It’s just something incredibly difficult and complex in my eyes and seeing someone i care about actually do it makes me feel pretty happy with all honesty! I hope you understand what i mean :} i might write another message talking about what else you’ve wrote to me that i couldn’t answer earlier! but for now, i hope you’re doing fine even with the seven hour shifts :}

- 🧶

HIHIHI WELCOME BACK its so good to see you again!!! ive been doing alright, trying to manage work and life and school all at the same time is suck a nightmare v_v;; ive ended up kinda neglecting this account which is so sad cuz my feelings havent changed that much!! im just so tired all tha time ...

and of course of course !! id feel bad not leaving something, especially since i had you on my mind! it just made sense to say something, even if it wasnt a lot haha

and YEAG. YEAHHHGGGG. theyve been fuckinf BRUTAL, ive luckily(?) been out sick the past couple of days since i ran out of my antidepressant and your body does not appreciate going cold turkey on an SSRI at all LMAOAOOAOA ... now im just waiting for the manager to get back to me about my schedule for this week since im feeling msrginally better, i could probably finish a shift in my current state with a lot of caffeine, a zofran, and some ibuprofen LOLOL

and it definitely is nice!! most of the money im making im going to be putting in a savings account for college, since my student aid situation is a lot more confusing than i was expecting it to be .. im not entirely sure how our income is going to be calculated? since we get survivorship benefits after my father passed away, and because of the way that program distributes the money, different government programs count it differently, either taking all the money as a whole and counting it as my mom's income or cutting it up into three chunks and counting it as income for each member of my family.

its all so confusing and means i cant reasonably expect to get much help from the fafsa alone, so i need to save up my own money and start applying for scholarships ASAP!! i could go to community college for the first two years, and im even already accepted at the one nearby, but i'd much rather go to the same school for my full bachelors even if it'll be more expensive.. but who knows!! we'll find out eventually.

and don't worry it doesnt sound condescending at all! im really glad you are, ive been changing so much lately and i always worry that it'll alienate the people i care about, especially everyone ive met thru here </3 and it really means a lot to know you're proud of us !!

[natashasbitxh]

this is gonna be long, but,

i used to be into youtube fandoms alot but the only ones ive retained are dan and phil and smosh. i was big on phan but i fell out of it years ago, i still like them but im more of a causal viewer than a rabid racoon frothing at the mouth every time some content drops.

(and also realised, as im no longer a teenager anymore, how shipping real people together is tricky and there are boundaries you dont cross and should be handled a particular way)

smosh ships were cute but nothing really stuck to me. don't get me wrong they all have chemistry but GOD DOES SHAYNSE GIVE!!?? IM A RACOON ONCE AGAIN

oh my god the way ive been sucked into shanyse. the smosh pit theatre was my awakening LIKE WTF THERE'S CHEMISTRY?? then i did the customary tumblr tag search and now im re-watching every video shayne and chanse has appeared together.

im sorry for all this but i gathered you were sort of a pioneer for the ship, so it felt right to confess on here

I relate so hard with ur comment on phan, I feel the fandom has gone thru a massive transformation and feels so much for chill now! Ppl have grown and are taking into account Phil and Dan a lot more!

Yes! Rpf is a tough area! I've said it before but the most important thing is the ppl themselves and their feelings! If Shayne or Chanse (or anybody from Smosh or that knows them tbh) asked me to stop, I would in a heartbeat! I, of course, would never intend any harm! And we see such a small snippet of their lives, its truly just based off their internet personas. My one rule is that u shouldn't go out of ur way to shove rpf into the ppl's faces unless they've said their okay with it! (Example: Them finding a fic by themselves is not the fault of the author, but the author sending it to them constantly crosses some boundaries)

Okay sorry, just wanted to make my thoughts clear!! Back to shaynse!!

OMG I'M SO HAPPY U FEEL THAT WAY!! I have felt that way since I thought of the ship but back then there was NO content for them!! Not even a ship name! (@jovenshires came up with the ship name). So it almost made me feel crazy or wrong for thinking of it, I'm so happy it's been well received!!

I feel like once u see it, u can't unsee it! That theater vid has done sm for shaynse nation! However, its just below the love is blind vid because that is literally shaynse day🫶🫶

Never apologise!! I love hearing other ppls thoughts and discussing!! And thank u for calling me the pioneer for this ship, it truly is an honour! I've been called it a couple times now so I might add it to my blog, I just hope I don't look big-headed 😭

And just an overall message to anybody that sees this, I welcome conversation abt ANY smosh ship, as long as it's appropriate! (I'm not sure what to give as an example, but I'd let u know if it's not appropriate)

Thank you, anon!

[hyunjinspark]

JADE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

the screaming anon is back (what I’m now calling myself) & I just have to say…

ch. 18? the angst? the heartbreak? THE PHOTO BOOTH PICTURES??? the argument beside the train? the fact that her professor was a fucking creep? all of it.

the wait for this chapter was so worth it. the way you pieced everything together was incredible. the way that still, with everything going on between them, your writing reminds us that Hyunjin & y/n are the only two people who truly see each other. nothing else matters when it comes to them & I find that so imperative to remember as a reader. & the way that you convey their hurt & how we’re able to physically feel that heaviness & hurt & frustration alongside of them??? but somehow still feeling light whenever a laugh or a smile between the two is mentioned??? wheeew bestie, I feel it all. not to mention how heavy & exhausting it felt to be reading Hyun’s POV. like I felt so bad for him & all he wanted to do was see but also protect y/n. 😭

I had a feeling that it was the professor who was going to make some kind of pass at her, & I was completely devastated to read this, and to feel her devastation & confusion & terror was heartbreaking & unfortunately familiar due to something similar happening to me. but!! I trust you & your writing & the life that you’ve created for Hyun & y/n so I have a feeling that all of this is just the catalyst to come back together somehow. that Hyun is going to show up & be the steadfast anchor that she needs in the middle of this storm. to ease her mind & kiss her doubts & fears away. my god. 😭

& I’m sorry to bring it up again, but the photo booth pictures!!! her copy is ruined & I feel so ridiculous for sobbing when I read that they were crushed in the process but they have to make a comeback, right? like hyun has another copy & we’ll get the full explanation of how he got them?? maybe???

I love this story down to my bones & I will never not be obsessed with it. my love for it grows with each chapter & ch. 18 is just another example as to why. thank you for sharing this with us. for trusting us with your words & your creativity. for providing a story that feels like a friend & a comfort & a cozy place to reside. I hope you’re happy & healthy & are looking forward to the new year. thank you for all that you do. ♡

welcome back !! 🗣️🗣️

ohh this is such a sweet review. they are the core of the story so despite the misunderstandings, ofc they still belong together 🙁 its a relief to hear that it still conveys their bond, amongst everything going on !

im sorry to hear about that ! the professor truly sucks but yes all of that is a catalyst for everything else to come, it was also not meant to be “random” suffering for the sake of angst and i hope it doesnt come off as that 😭 it is an important plot point to the arc of the story and how everything will fall into place.

hyun definitely needs to be that anchor :( im glad you are fixated on the photobooth pictures,,, hopefully there is the other copy…

thank you for this message 🥺 i reread it a lot, and it made me feel happy.