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#and texting one of my closest friends asking her to tell me everything she didn’t like about me
viktoriakomova · 3 months
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echoing last reblogs tags not to be self indulgent in my Feelings and all, and I know this contradicts a LOT of what I’ve said in the last 48 hrs about it, but like. I cannot imagine how perversely appealing it is as a public figure to look at very harsh [to you] commentary about yourself that’s available at your fingertips as a form of self harm if you have a low self esteem
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lovelookspretty · 4 days
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lover of mine
drew starkey x actress!reader au
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— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.
warnings: sweet baby boy drew whos willing to help u, nothing else rly
one | two | three | four | five
authors note: i wanted to give it a sort of “the proposal” / “anyone but you” type of feel !! this is obviously going to be a series so let me know if u want to be added to the tag list from now on so u dont miss an update ! <3
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your body freezes in place when you’re asked about the wedding. crap, you forgot. but it isn’t like you received any invite.
“theo sent you an invite through the mail. you got it right?” your friend, leila, asks you. leila and her fiancé theo have been your friends for years now, ever since you met leila during a movie priemere and shared respect on each other's careers. she’s been your closest friend, so theo naturally had to come along too.
“what? yeah,” you lie right through your teeth, and guilt punches you in the face when you stare right into her bright eyes. you raise the cup of coffee. “was literally jumping for joy when i got it.”
leila sighs in relief. “thank god we got the right address,” she says and you question what she means by that before she continues, “we didn’t know whether to send it to your apartment or drew’s.”
your breath is caught and you pause before your drink reaches your lips.
“drew,” you repeat, and she nods.
“yeah, but we figured you’ll both see it either way so, sent it to his place ‘cause theo said it was closer,” leila says, and you raise your eyebrows in amusement. “but anyway! before the wedding, i wanted to stay with our inner circle so if it’s possible for a little two-week vacation? the venue is close to my mom and her boyfriend’s house so we’d just be staying there. i would’ve picked after the wedding if theo didn’t already have the honeymoon planned. he’s too excited.”
“wait, two weeks?” you inquire, “who’s coming?”
she shrugs, “you and drew, libby, gia . . .” she trails off as she thinks about it, and you swallow as you set your cup down. “i forgot who else. i know it’s one of theo’s coworkers but i forgot who. let me text him actually.”
your face lights up at the opportunity to get away, and you nod. “i need to call drew actually,” you say, and she smiles and nods as you stand from your seat and make your way to her living room. “need to remind him to take the . . . fish . . . out.”
“fish?”
“we’re having fish tonight, yeah.”
you turn away to scroll through your contacts until you find his, then click on it. you settle down on the couch as you wait anxiously for him to pick up, and just hope that he does.
just before the call goes to voicemail, the line clears. “yeah?”
“you are such a—!” you hiss quietly, careful not to let leila hear you. “why didn’t you tell me leila and theo sent you a wedding invite for us?”
“i literally just checked my mail, alright? i would’ve said something about it as soon as i saw it,” he tells you. “i just flew in two days ago, y/n. i’m at the . . . i’m not at my apartment right now but my mail’s all on my counter. i’ll look for it once i’m home and then send you pictures of it, okay?”
you know that your situation with drew is slightly complicated. you were together for five years before ending things just a year ago.
because of your careers, you aren’t surprised that people assume you’re still dating. even close friends like leila and theo. everything was kept private. a year into the relationship was when fans even found out about you two.
you both have been looking for a time to address the breakup, to friends first for sure, but with your conflicting schedules, the time’s just never come up, and sending a “by the way, we broke up” text to an imessage groupchat wasn’t totally ideal.
even with the wedding coming up, having to be around everyone while you celebrate your closest friends, how are you either of you supposed to bring it up now?
“okay,” you tell him. “just text me when you’re free. any time before 10, please.”
“okay,” drew’s voice is soft and understanding. the line goes dead and you pull your phone away from your ear, seeing that he’s hung up.
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your expected text comes around 8pm. drew’s sent you four different attachments. all are photos of the elaborate and detailed wedding invitation. the designs must’ve been leila’s idea.
you’re surprised to see an incoming call on your laptop right after. you hover over the accept button, then click on it.
his face fills a rectangle of your screen. he’s on his phone—“do you see it?”
“yeah wait,” you mumble, clicking out of the facetime to open your messages with him, then click the first photo. “leila and theo; rsvp by september twenty-seventh.”
“the letter’s addressed to my place but they put our names on the envelope,” drew tells you, and it looks like he’s ruffling through something before he flips his camera to display his counter. on it is the envelope in question, which is addressed to his apartment, but for y/n and drew, it says.
you hum. “are you going?” you ask him.
“of course i’m going. what do you mean?”
you shake your head, “nothing.”
drew only knows of leila or theo because of you, because leila works with you. maybe he’s made friends with theo but it’s not something you’ve personally seen, so you’re just assuming that maybe since you’ve broken up, there’s no reason for him to go? especially when he’s filming soon?
you stare down at your keyboard as you speak again, “leila wants us to come on a two-week pre-stay with her and theo. and others.”
there’s a brief pause from drew, like he doesn’t understand.
you sense it immediately and continue. “like, before the wedding, she told me today about how her mom has his house she wants us to stay in, just a few of us for two weeks, then they have her wedding— i don’t know, i need to ask her more about it. i think she just wants to fly everyone out and spend more time with us before she’s on honeymoon and living the wife life.”
“could be fun,” drew says. “i mean, i can’t even remember the last time i was out with theo or leila. it might be good for us.”
you furrow your eyebrows at him through the screen, and you try to read him to see if he’s joking. “there is no more ‘us’, remember? and by the way, neither leila or theo or anybody else knows that.”
drew hesitates as if he’s trying to justify your situation.
you rub your eye before resting the side of your head against your fist, “they addressed the invitation to both of us, drew. i feel like we should at least tell them the truth so that when we get there, they know.”
drew hesitates, his eyes moving around as if searching for the right words. “yeah, i know. it’s just . . . complicated.”
“complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it,” you say, feeling frustration build up. “it just feels dishonest. they think we’re still together, and if they find out at the wedding, it’ll look like we’re hiding things.”
“we are hiding things,” he reminds you. “we’ve been avoiding the topic. do you really want to drop this bomb on them right before their wedding?”
you go silent as you think about it, because if telling them isn’t a good option then . . .
“what if we just kept up the appearance that we’re still together?” drew suggests. it draws your attention as you look up at your laptop. “for the wedding and the pre.”
you blink, taken aback. “what do you mean?”
“i mean,” drew continues, “what if we act like we’re still together while we’re there? it might make things easier for everyone. seeing us apart will just create tension. people will feel like they’ll need to walk on eggshells around us.”
you give him a skeptical look. “acting like a couple isn’t the same as actually being one. i’m not sure i can just pull it off without it feeling fake.”
“we’re not faking,” drew says gently. “we’re just playing a part for a bit. we’re professionals. it’s literally our job. we can do this for a few days.”
you pause, considering his words. “but what if it just makes things worse? what if pretending just complicates everything?”
drew’s expression softens, and he speaks more earnestly. “look, we’ve been in tough spots before. there’s been so many times on set with you and i before that we’ve had to navigate headfirst. this is no different. think of it as a role we have to play for a short time. it doesn’t change what’s real.”
you sit back, processing his suggestion. “so we fake it for now and deal with the truth later?”
he hums. “it’s not ideal, but it could save a lot of awkwardness and stress. we can be civil and supportive for their sake, and then handle everything after.”
you let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the decision. “it just feels like a lot of work to keep up a pretense. but i guess if we’re going to do this, we need to at least figure out how to make it believable.”
“we’ll figure it out,” drew says, his voice a little more hopeful. “it’s not about being perfect. it’s just about getting through the weeks without making things worse.”
you nod slowly, still feeling uneasy but recognizing the practicality of his idea. “okay. pretend for leila and theo, and then deal with the fallout afterwards.”
there’s a faint smile on his face as he nods at you. “just two weeks, remember? we can do that,” he says. “i’m gonna head to bed. i’ll talk to you tomorrow about it, alright?”
“okay,” you murmur, and drew hangs up on you.
the facetime window closes and displays your last app that’s been open, your messages. you’re face-to-face with the photos of the invitations once more, and a part of you is overwhelmed with emotions—fear, excitement, guilt.
two weeks. that’s all it is. just two weeks with your ex-boyfriend. you can survive that . . .
right?
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jhdyuiee · 2 months
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wildflower
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❁ pairing: fake bf!jaehyun x fem!reader
❁ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, fake dating turned real, protected&unprotected sex (reader is on pill), oral (f&m receiving), fingering, breast&nipple play, hickies, spanking, kissing/making out, pet-names (baby, babe, beautiful), different positions, multiple orgasms, arguing, cursing, slight cheating (at the end), nudes, suggestive texting
❁ w.c: 11.9k!
❁ a.n: i’m back with a second release! next release will def be a different member, && possibly also inspired by another song by billie (her new album just too good ㅠㅠ ! ) i love u all, stay safe! jiji out 🤍
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“i should put it all behind me, shouldn't i? but i see her in the back of my mind, all the time.”
“i'd never ask who was better, 'cause she couldn't be more different from me. happy and free…”
“did i cross the line? you say no one knows you so well, but every time you touch me, i just wonder how she felt. valentine's day, cryin' in the hotel i  know you didn't mean to hurt me, so I kept it to myself.”
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kim yuna is her name. she was one of my closest friends, knowing her since primary school. i loved her like she was my own flesh and blood. nothing could ever come between us, well that’s what i thought… that was until he came into her–our lives.
jeong jaehyun.
it was a good 5 years that the two of them were together. heck everyone was sure you the pair would get married, have a family, and grow gray and old together. yet, they seemed to fall out of love and let one another go.
i remember that night, the night she came over to me crying on my shoulder. it was just the two of us that night, i held her tight, trying everything in my power to comfort her. i just couldn’t fathom how someone like jaehyun, who once showed her the world could let her go. love was a complicated thing, an inexplicable feeling that could dissipate in the blink of an eye.
so from that day on, it was just us two. “you’ll never leave me right, y/n?” i recalled yuna’s soft voice as we ate breakfast the following day. “of course not,” i replied. it became my mission to be with yuna forever, nothing in this world– universe could tear us apart.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
july. the hot summer days rolled around, and so did he. i think the universe liked to mock me, play tricks or whatever because jeong jaehyun stood before me. in the short span of the months since their breakup he seemed to have changed, his aura seemed different, unrecognizable even.
“i knew i’d find you here,” he spoke. i looked at him with a puzzled expression, “if you came to get back with yuna, she doesn’t want to see you ever again!” a low chuckle emitted from his throat, “funny, i’m actually here for you.”
i was beyond confused, what could he want with little ol’ me? “me? what kind of business do you have with me?!” “if you come with me, i’ll be glad to tell you.”
“if you can’t tell i’m kind of in the middle of work right now,” i said, and i really was. my shift at the cafe was today and i wouldn’t be able to get off until a couple more hours. “then i’ll come back for you. you’re off at 5, right?” I didn’t respond, just signaling him with a nod of my head.
it didn’t take long before he was gone, leaving me so puzzled. why was he showing up now? how did he know i got off at 5? but most importantly, what could he want with me? when yuna and him were together, we weren’t particularly close to the point we could call each other friends, so whatever just happened right now has every right to leave me confused.
he sure is a man true to his word. when i opened the cafe doors, there he was leaning against his car. “get in,” he said. i raised a brow, “are you planning to murder me jeong?” he laughed, “no, why would i?” he walked along to the other side, opening the door for me. i hesitantly got in. once we both were in, he drove to whatever destination he was taking me to. i prayed he really wasn’t going to outright murder me.
the car ride was silent, besides the low music from the radio. r&b, his favorites as yuna used to tell me about. i gazed out the windows, watching the tall buildings and fancy dressed people walk. a couple minutes later we arrived at our destination, an underground parking lot. yep definitely getting murdered.
he opened the door and i stepped out, bracing myself for death. however, instead of that i was met with his hand on my shoulder which caused me to flinch. “relax, i told you i wasn’t going to murder you.” i let out a relieved sigh, “then what are we doing in a sketchy parking lot?” “we’re heading to my apartment,” he said.
“wait, wait, wait! i am not sleeping with you!” he looked at me, laughing a couple moments later “what? no?! i’ll tell you once we’re inside.” he didn’t let me utter another word before he guided me inside an elevator and pressed the button to the last floor.
jeong jaehyun screamed money. the man was rich, his father was the former ceo of a big corporation, to which jaehyun now inherited. it made sense why he lived in such a lavish building and owned such a luxurious car. though behind the facade, the man had his trauma. his mother died in a car accident when he was little, which is why he has no driver as it was his family driver who led his mother to her death. i only know all this information on him because of yuna, when they were together he was all she could talk about nights on end. it was annoying, but people in love are… well crazy in love.
when we finally made it to his floor, we stepped out. i followed behind him as we made it to his front door. he put in his code and let me in. i began taking off my coat and shoes when he spoke. “anything to drink?” he asked. “water is fine,” i replied.
“make yourself at home, the living room is straight ahead. you can wait for me there,” he says. i walked further into his apartment, it was minimalist. the whole space just screamed him, jaehyun. i sat in the –comfortable– black sofa whilst i waited for him. i’d hope this talk wouldn’t take so long. i texted yuna i wouldn’t be back until later today. since their break-up she began living with me.
he walked into the living room with two glasses of water in hand, handing me one. he sat besides me, on my left side. i took a sip of my water, clearing my dry throat. “so? what sort of business do you have to settle with little ol’ me?” i asked.
i turned to face him, his eyes set on me. his expression turned serious, his thoughts unreadable. i suddenly became really nervous, an unsettling feeling in my stomach.
we remained in silence until a beat or two later he finally spoke. his words leaving me all the more speechless that i needed him to repeat what he just said. “what? what did you just say?”
“date me.”
he couldn’t be serious right now. his ex’s best friend? he must have some humorous side to him because what the actual fuck was he saying?
“quite the bullshit jeong,” i slightly raised my voice. i was feeling slightly irritated now because just what in the world is jeong jaehyun thinking?!
he propped his elbow on the side of the sofa, “i’m not joking. date me y/n.”
“how can i-” he interrupted me mid sentence, “i’m kidding well kinda. listen i just need you to pretend you’re my girlfriend.”
pretend to be his girlfriend?! is he in his right mind? “what? why?” i questioned him. no matter how much i tried to make sense of the situation, i just couldn't comprehend it, it was impossible to.
“just one month, that’s all. i just need to prove to my father that i do have someone in my life so he could quit with the whole blind date bs.”
“b-but why choose me?” his intense gaze never faltered, “hmm, i don’t know. i just felt like you were the only woman capable of agreeing to such a thing, and plus you’re the only woman i felt like i was on somewhat good terms with.”
“good terms? may i remind you, you dated and broke my best friend's heart!?” his eyes softened, “look yeah i could’ve guessed you hate me now, but i’m sorry… what happened between me and her was mutual, some things were just never meant to be…”
some things are just never meant to be. i wonder what he means by that. yuna never really gave me the details surrounding their break up, so i suppose all this time i assumed it was because jaehyun had done something. however, the way his face softened at the mention of their relationship made me wonder if they’re was more to the story than yuna had led off.
“of course you don’t have to agree to it if you don’t want to,” he said when he noticed how lost in thought i was. my mind just circulating on him, yuna, and his proposal. would it be a bad idea to accept his offer? i mean i’d just have to put up with him for a month… i even doubt yuna would ever find out.
i brushed off any further thoughts and looked at jaehyun straight in his eyes. my mouth hesitated, was i really making the right choice? “i- i’ll do it. i’ll pose as your girlfriend for one month.” it was strange, after i released those words it felt like something within me ached, regret screaming at me. truly y/n… were you making the right choice…?
i watched as jaehyun’s eyes widened, possibly from not expecting me to accept his proposal. “really? you’ll do it!” his voice sounded a little too excited. i was scared.
“y- yes,” my mouth spoke for itself.
“great! then i’ll sort you out on the details,” jaehyun explained. i followed along as jaehyun explained how this arrangement would go. we’d only meet on days in which we would need to visit his father, we planned out our story on how we’d met and such, and we decided it’d be best to exchange contacts to make things easier.
i stared at my phone, jaehyun, read the screen. i sighed, i really was doing this. “then now that it’s all settled, let me drive you back home,” he announced. in all honesty, i was going to reject his offer, but then i remembered how late in the night it was, and how i don’t feel all too comfortable riding in a taxi this late at night.
so now here i was in his car once more, and it made me realize how many more times in the future i’d be situated in this exact same spot. the car ride was silent, except for the music playing in the background which made up for the utter silence.
when we arrived, i thanked him for the ride. “it was nothing,” he said.  i’ll message you when my father tells me to go visit him again.” “mm, sure thing,” i replied, as i reached for the car handle and opened the door. i took one final glance at jaehyun before exiting his vehicle. through the moonlight i could still see his face light up into a smile, accentuating his dimples.
thump. 
that was weird, “see you later then,” i swiftly said as i felt like i needed to get out of this car as soon as possible. with a final goodbye i finally made my way to my apartment. i opened it, noticing the television was on in the living room. yuna must’ve stayed up trying to wait until i’d arrived.
“i’m home!” i slightly yelled. i began making my way to the living room where she was. “what took you so long, you said you’d come back as soon as possible,” she said.
“sorry, it seemed more things needed to be discussed.” i felt outright terrible. lie after lie came out of my mouth when yuna questioned why i was out for so long.
i had to keep the meeting with jaehyun a secret until i die. who knows how yuna might’ve react knowing i, her bestest friend, was out with her ex. not to mention how i’d just agreed to become his fake girlfriend.
i sighed, in which yuna noticed. “are you sure everything is alright?” she asked. i embraced her in my arms, resting my chin on her shoulder. “yes, i assure you nothing bad happened.” i let go of her a second later, “now let’s go rest. i’m sure we’ve both had a long day.” she nodded, taking one last glance at me as i stood watching her walking to her bedroom.
“good night, y/n.”
“good night yuna,” i replied back as i turned my body to walk to my bedroom. i wanted nothing more but to soak myself in a warm bath and recount just what the hell my life was or is going to become. i did just that, spending quite a bit of time in the bath before i headed off to bed. i wrapped myself in my bed sheet, the effects of the bath dawning over me. i felt myself relaxing into a deep slumber. no matter how chaotic today was, i felt most at peace here in my bed.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
since that day i have had yet to receive a message from jaehyun. it felt almost as if that day never had happened, like some part of my imagating– a dream, no a nightmare.
ping.
great. the universe indeed must find enjoyment in mocking me. there it was, a message from jaehyun.
jaehyun: my father asked me to come around tomorrow. could you make it?
y/n: sure thing. what time?
jaehyun: around noon sounds fine?
y/n: okay
jaehyun: great! i’ll tell him you’ll be coming with me.
jaehyun: i’ll come pick you up tomorrow.
y/n: alright, see you tomorrow.
i sighed as i read his last message, see you tomorrow. tomorrow’s the big day. the first day of our whole hoax. i wonder if his father would buy into it considering the fact that me and jaehyun have had very little history together. whatever, i’m sure we’d find our way around it.
i got up from my chair, exiting the employee lounge. my break was almost over so i shut down any further thoughts and focused only on the tasks at hand.
hours later, i readied myself to leave the cafe. i realized it would be rather rude of me to not bring something to give his father so i tried to as quickly as possibly to make it to the shopping center before it closed. I strolled along, hopping from store to store. nothing really was catching my eye, in fact i had no idea what to buy! i felt like it’d be quite troublesome to text jaehyun about it, so i opted out of it and just went with whatever was going to capture my attention.
after a few more rounds, i finally found something. these really eccentric and beautiful shot glasses. i prayed that mr.jeong was a drinker because if not then i’d really would want to jump off the face of the earth.
shot glasses in hand, i made my way to pay for them. i gotta say they were quite the price tag, but that didn’t matter. this was all so i could win the favor of jaehyun’s father tomorrow. really, really prayed he drank.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
d-day. i could barely get a wink of sleep last night. nervousness, a bit of excitement, and worry overcame me last night. would we really be able to pull this off? what if his father disapproved of me? gosh, i really am a worrying mess.
as i got ready, i put on my best outfit. it was one that seemed fit to make a good impression. I opted for a natural make-up look and some loose curls. i checked my phone once again, 11:45 a.m. 15 minutes to spare, i rushed to the kitchen. although i felt too nervous to digest anything right now, i couldn’t go on a completely empty stomach. so i toasted myself some bread and poured myself some orange juice. quite the breakfast i gotta say.
as i finished up i heard as my phone began ringing. must be jaehyun, i thought. i rushed to my bedroom where my phone was placed on my nightstand. surely enough i was right, it was jaehyun calling.
i picked up, “hello?” i spoke. “hey, y/n i’m almost at your place. you ready?” he said in my ear. “y-yeah just waiting for you,” i replied. Is it just me or did that sound slightly weird? whatever it already came out of my mouth. y/n you fool.
“oh, okay then i’ll be there in 5.” “mm, i’ll start going down then,” i said and later bid him a goodbye although i’d see his face in a couple minutes. i rushed inside my closet, opting to pick out the most suitable looking purse. with purse and gift in hand i swiftly exited my apartment.
i stood up straight, trying to give myself boosting affirmations, and eliminating any worrisome or negative thoughts from my head. as i headed outside my apartment complex, there he was. he must’ve barely arrived as he was just getting out his car, until he spotted me. he waved me down.
i walked a little faster, stopping when we stood measly inches apart. “well, you look beautiful,” he says. i tried my hardest not thinking anything of his little compliment. “thanks… i suppose,” i responded earning me a slight chuckle from jaehyun. “ready to go?” jaehyun asks, and before i could respond he guides me to the passenger side of his car.
he opened the door for me in which i then sat down in the passenger seat. he then closes the door, walking over to the drivers side.
i expected for the car ride to be silent, but i then got the urge to bombard jaehyun with questions. “what kind of person is your father?” i asked first. i looked over at him noticing how he seemed to be deep in thought. “hmm, i suppose he isn’t some ruthless man you should worry about. trust me y/n he’ll like you, he is rather… weak.”
weak? mr.jeong? the man who built an empire. it seemed hard to believe, so i'll just have to see it with my own two eyes once we meet. the ride continued with me asking more questions in which jaehyun delightedly answered back to.
time seemed to have flowed quickly as we now made our way inside the gate surrounding the jeong residence. my nervousness was starting to kick in again. i began taking deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and- “ready?” jaehyun spoke, startling me. i glanced up to where he now was, waiting for me to exit the car. it was all going too quick!
i waited for jaehyun, but when he took a little too long i looked at him. he looked pensive like he was in some very serious thinking. “something wrong?” i asked. he looked at me, eye-to-eye. “is it okay with you if we hold hands… you know to make it seem like we really are a couple.”
ah, right we’re supposed to pose as a couple right now. he had a point so i took his hand. i felt as he tensed up before seemingly relaxing down a bit after. “here we go,” he says as he rang the doorbell. i inhaled one last time, bracing myself for what's to come.
the door swung open a minute later, where we were both greeted by an older, yet young looking lady. “jaehyun!” she exclaimed. “Hello, ms.kim!” he replied back. they briefly hugged before he turned to me, “y/n this is ms.kim. she works for my father and was my nanny back when i was a child,” he explained. “ah, and ms.kim this is y/n my girlfriend,” jaehyun said as he turned back to speak to ms.kim.
“y/n! darling, wow you’re gorgeous! jaehyun sure hit the jackpot with you,” she teased, smiling brightly. i had to admit, i quite embarrassed. “no, no, no i’m sure i’m the lucky one here,” i smiled before continuing, “it’s a pleasure to meet you ms.kim!” instead of reaching out for my hand, she warmly embraced me in her arms. when we parted she spoke again, “ah, come in, come in!”
we walked inside the big home, my eyes soaking in every detail. “where’s my father?” jaehyun asked. “hmm, that old man? he’s probably in his office, i’ll go get him,” she says, but before departing she tells us– well i, “make yourself at home.”
when we were finally alone, i exhaled again. “she’s sweet, i like her,” i whispered, fearing they could hear me from where they were. “i’m glad she seems to like you already, she’s not quite the most accepting person.”
“by the way, i’ve been meaning to ask. what’s in that bag?” jaehyun asked me as he looked down to the gift bag i held in my hand. “ah, a gift for your father.” “a gift? you didn’t have to go out of your way to do all that,” he said. “i know, but i would’ve felt rather rude if i didn’t get him anything. speaking of which please tell me he drinks,” i said.
“i quite very much enjoy drinking,” a voice spoke. my head whipped back, my eyes coming in contact with a man who quite just looked like jaehyun but in an older version. they looked like copies of one another.
“ah, it’s nice to meet you mr.jeong, my name is y/l/n,” i said as i bowed. my hands clenched around the gift bag just a bit tighter. “oh dear, no need to do all that y/n!” he said. i raised myself, gathering the courage to walk towards the man.
“then i hope you can accept my gift… though it’s nothing too grand, i hope you could still enjoy it sir,” i spoke nervously as i handed him the gift bag. he took it, giving me smile just like jaehyun’s. “oh gosh, you didn’t have to. jaehyun! why didn’t you stop her,” he said, giving his son a stern look.
jaehyun just gives him a shrug of his shoulders. “thank you very much anyway dear. i’ll be sure to open it later, for now let’s have some lunch.” as we headed to the dinning table, i felt jaehyun’s hand in the lower part of my back. he leans down, “good job” he whispered into my ear. his hot voice, practically causing me to almost melt away. i glanced up at him, his eyes catching mine and that’s when he smiled fondly at me, in which i later returned as well.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
lunch was more than great. the food was quite possibly the most delicious food i’ve had in a while. mr.jeong throughout the whole lunch would just go on and on talking about jaehyun’s life, his business, and other random subjects. 
“jaehyun, be a dear and go with ms.kim to pick up the desserts,” his father spoke. oh, oh. this could translate to: leave, i wanna talk to y/n alone. fuck, fuck, fuck. i was getting even more nervous than i originally was.
jaehyun sighed, “alright,” he said. he got up, walking over to where i sat across from him and leaned down, “you’ll do great. i’ll try and be quick” he whispered into my ear. what i didn’t expect was after he said that he pecked my cheek. i just lowly said, “okay.”
“don’t be too harsh on her dad,” jaehyun said before leaving. jaehyun was gone before his father could say anything back, it was just the two of us for god knows how long. i’d had hoped it wouldn’t go past 15 minutes.
“don’t be too nervous, i’m not here to tear you apart,” his father spoke when he noticed how tensed up i’d gotten. i tried relaxing a bit, reassuring myself in my head that it’d be alright.
“i do gotta admit, when jaehyun first told me about you i was shocked. my son who would rather die than date a woman, telling me he has a girlfriend almost made me believe if i had made it to heaven,” he said, seemingly joking. i giggled a bit. “however, seeing you here today and the way he is around you i can tell he seems serious about this.”
serious my ass, i thought. it was all an act, god the oscar’s should give jaehyun an award for his stellar performance at fooling his father. “y-yeah,” i began saying. “when jaehyun first approached me, asking to take me out on a date, i was surprised as well. i mean little ol’ me with a man out of my reach… i have to admit i thought it was a foolish prank but then i realized how genuine he was. you raised him to be an amazing and loving man, mr.jeong.”
his face softened, “no, no i don’t deserve the credit, his mother does. he told you didn’t he, about his mother?” i nodded, even though it was technically yuna who had told me. “well, since my wife’s death my– no our lives have not been the same. everyday i lived in regret and sorrow, but then i remembered i had to keep going, not necessarily for me but for my son. his mother taught him everything she could’ve possibly taught him while she was still alive and for that i am forever grateful for.”
hearing him talk made my heart ache. i realized in that moment just how much not only jaehyun must’ve gone through but his dad as well. losing someone is not easy, getting over them is in fact far from it. “i’m sure she must be proud of the person jaehyun has become today,” i said. he smiled, “yeah, i’m sure she is. i guarantee you she would’ve adored you as well.” my heart broke all the more, even if this was a fake relationship those words still hit me.
i smiled weakly, lips twitching as i felt my eyes blurr. i blinked and there they were, tears streaming down my face. “oh dear, i didn’t mean to make you cry,” mr.jeong said, handing me a napkin. i wiped those darn tears away and later continued my conversation with his father.
contrary to my expectations, mr.jeong truly was a kind soul, weak to his family. i could also safely say that by the end of our conversation he seemed to like and approve of me. mission accomplished, i suppose.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
jaehyun and ms.kim arrived well past 15 minutes, but that didn’t matter because the conversation between mr.jeong and i was a great one. “he didn’t tell you anything bad right?” jaehyun spoke as he ate a piece of his dessert. i glanced over at his father giggling, “hmm just how you got stuck in the snow one time and cried out because they took forever to take you out.” jaehyun groaned, “dad!”
mr.jeong crossed his arms, smiling. “what can i say, you were quite a cute child back then.” i laughed, and enjoyed the company. i could get used to this… but right, this would only last a month. i tried shoving such thoughts from my head, deciding on focusing on the present.
we stayed for a while longer, deciding to leave once the sun was starting to set. i bid ms.kim a farewell before doing the same to mr.jeong. “come back again soon dear, with or without him,” mr.jeong said. i smiled, “will do!”
and so after having said our farewells, me and jaehyun headed off. i would say me and him we’re making progress as the car ride back was filled with lots of chatter. the poor guy investigating me on what stories his father had told me about him.
“well, i’m glad he likes you,” jaehyun said, “yeah, guess we really pulled this off,” i replied.
“mmm, he seems relieved that i finally have someone in my life now,” he continued. however, i didn’t respond back. i was too busy probing on the thought of how it seemed like jaehyun never told his father about yuna. i was too scared to bring up the subject, remembering how jaehyun became when her name was ever mentioned, so i left it at that: an insignificant thought.
the car ride back to my apartment continued with chatter. when we had arrived, i lingered in his car for a while. “so, i’ll see you next time?”
we both looked at one another. jaehyun’s mouth fell open, then closing. he didn’t respond, just giving me a simple nod of his head.
“then, drive home safely. bye jaehyun,” i said, opening up the passenger door. before i closed it jaehyun spoke, “sleep well y/n.” my face flushed, “mmm, you too” i said before closing the door. i gripped my bag, walking into my apartment complex as quickly as possible. god, what is wrong with you?!
as i opened the apartment door, i noticed the television playing. “ah, welcome home y/n!” yuna said cheerfully. she stopped for a brief moment, observing me. “hmm, what’s this our little y/n out on a date?!” she teased.
what do i say? yes, no? i mean it’d be fine as long as i didn’t tell her the name right?
“y-yeah,” i said, rather shyly. her eyes widened, squealing “who is it! someone i know!?” she bombarded me with questions. “n-no! he’s just some guy i’m getting to know,” i said. i can’t believe i’m lying to my best friend right now, but then again it’s not like i can tell her: “hey! i’m going out with your ex boyfriend!”
“well if you ever decided to make it official, introduce me to the guy! he’s gotta need my approval after all,” she said smiling. yuna was always the opposite of me, she shined bright everywhere she went. it was no shocker how she managed to get someone like jaehyun to fall head over heels for her.
i laughed at her declaration, “sure thing.” we stayed up for a while longer before we both headed off to bed. today was surely a long day, going surprisingly better than i had anticipated. it all led me to ponder how things would go in the future. it made me both nervous and excited for what was to come.
however only later would i realize how i crossed the line. it would be far too late to go back.
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weeks passed, days flowed by and life was surprisingly better than ever. since my first meeting with jaehyun’s father, i’d visited him a few more times and now july was just about over. today, i got ready to go see jaehyun’s father again. though, jaehyun described it as a quick visit. nonetheless, i rushed to get ready since he would be here in around 15 minutes.
i made my way to the front of my apartment complex where he was waiting. it was always the same routine every single time. part of me was growing accustomed to this, but i constantly reminded myself of the month period which for a fact was close to coming to an end.
i hated to admit it but i didn’t want this to end, but i couldn’t bring myself to tell jaehyun about this secret of mine. hating to admit i blushed everytime he showered me with the littest bit of –fake– affection, that effect he was just having on me. i hated to admit just how much i’d grown to like him…
“everything alright?” he questions me. i snapped out of my thoughts, my face facing his as he held the steering wheel. “y-yeah just didn’t get enough sleep,” i lied.
“sorry to drag you out like this, but i know how much my dad would’ve bugged me if i didn’t bring you along,” he chuckled, which caused me to smile. yup, i’m completely fucked.
when we arrived at mr.jeong’s residence we were greeted by ms.kim who informed us mr.jeong had some friends over. moments later, he walked in with said friends and introduced me to each one of them. his use of the word, “daughter-in-law” not going unheard by me. jaehyun must’ve heard it too.
i was too focused on the conversation between the men that i failed to notice when jaehyun leaned down into my ear whispering, “i didn’t know they’d be here, i swear. the old man told me he had something to tell me but in reality i thought he’d just found some excuse to bring you along.” i turned to him, our faces only centimeters apart, my eyes widened.
“i-i, it’s alright,” i whispered. jaehyun closed the small distance between us until i could feel his breath on my face and the light touch of his lips on mine.
“oh young people,” mr.jeong said.
shit, i was too caught up in the moment i had forgotten they were right in front of us. my face felt hot, my whole body did. just a single move and our lips would’ve met each other. “if you don’t mind, can you excuse us,” jaehyun spoke up as he got up. his hand, taking mine to guide me up.
“sure, sure. enjoy yourselves,” his father said. god, this was so embarrassing. before leaving, we said our goodbyes and headed back to his car. in the car it was silent, the air felt different; i couldn’t speak.
i opted to look outside through the window, but the unfamiliar landscape drove me to finally speak. “th-this isn’t the way to my apartment…”
a beat later he answered, “i know we’re heading somewhere first.” i wondered where that could’ve been, but i didn’t get to wonder for long as i soon recognized we were heading to his apartment instead. i wonder what he could’ve wanted.
once i was back into the familiar, yet unfamiliar apartment, we sat on his sofa. there was silence for a while, before he made the first move. “what would you say if we extend our agreement?” he asked, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.
“wh-what…” i said. i was confused what he meant by this, i mean i could interpret this a hundred ways. he scratches the back of his neck, “fuck. that’s not, well i do mean.. mm,” jaehyun said, he seemed at a loss of words.
there was a brief moment of silence again, before he spoke up again. “date me. no agreement, contract, anything of the sort.”
no fucking way! “huh? you want us to date for real, but-” he interrupted me before i could finish. “before you say anything more, i want you to know that in all honesty i don’t want this to end. i’ve enjoyed every moment we’ve spent together, your smile, laugh, and that bright light you radiate. i like every part of you y/n… i like you.”
my eyes widened. no way, this was a confession... jaehyun was confessing to me. did i feel him the same way he felt? were these feelings of mine more affection than friendship? who am i kidding, they were. the truth in fact was that i liked jaehyun romantically, i couldn’t deny it any longer.
“i-i like you too…”
i watched as his face softened, his dimpled smile making it’s appearance. his smile was the most precious and beautiful i’d ever seen. one of his hands made their way to my cheek, caressing it. his body inched closer, until there was only a small distance between us.
“can i?” he whispered. i nodded, shyly closing my eyes. i felt as his lips touched mine. they molded perfectly into mine, felt soft too. it was a gentle kiss, but it quickly became something i enjoyed with all my heart.
i parted away first, trying to catch my breath but i was already starting to miss the feeling of his lips on mine. so i leaned back into him, our kiss deepening more this time around. his tongue intruded inside my mouth, colliding with mine. he then bit into my bottom lip, but quickly kissed on it. jaehyun places his hands on each side of my hips, guiding me to straddle his lap without breaking the kiss.
we continued devouring one another, enjoying what the other had to offer. things only escalated further when his hands began traveling along my body. his fingertips left a trailing blaze of heat throughout me. my hips then began moving on their own, my lower area in the need of some friction. i felt his cock hardened as i continued grinding on him. his hands now on my hips, gradually helping me pick up the pace.
his lips letting go of mine just to say, “hold on.” in which i followed, wrapping my arms around his neck as he gets up, walking to what i then knew was his bedroom. jaehyun gently lays me on his bed, my eyes on him as he lifts his shirt, taking it off and tossing it somewhere in his spacious room. his eyes then meeting mine, causing a smirk to form on his face. “like what you see?” he teases. i felt my face heat up. “don’t you think it’s a bit unfair for me to be the only one without a shirt?” he continued saying.
i lift myself up from his bed, hands grabbing the hem of my shirt, getting it over my head and onto the floor. i noticed as jaehyun’s eyes never left mine, soaking me all in. i felt quite shy so i covered my breasts with my arms. jaehyun got closer, “don’t be shy now baby, you're beautiful.”
baby. beautiful. god, his sweet words were so beautiful. i once again did as he said, putting my arms down to my sides. he closed the distance between us, colliding his lips onto mine in a deep and passionate kiss. all the while his hands began working with the hook of my bra until it came off me. he parts, bringing his lips to kiss all over me from my cheek to collarbone. when he brought his lips to my neck however, i felt as he sucked harshly onto my skin, causing me to wince. he parts, muttering a “sorry” against my neck.
jaehyun was marking me up, claiming what was his.
traveling further down, he stops at my breasts. i felt as his lips kissed the valley of my breast before going onto one. he stuck his tongue out, brushing against my nipple. he licked the bud until it hardened, and then went over to my other neglected breasts to do the same. this however didn’t satisfy him, so he began marking me up again, adding biting my tits into the mix. the attention and pleasure he was giving my tits was more than enough to make me a whining and needy mess. i was sure if he were to take off my skirt right now, my thighs would be dripping.
it was as if he was reading my mind because one of his hands began traveling inside my skirt until it cupped my sex. i moaned into the spacious room. “this wet already?” he muttered against my breast, letting his mouth room further down my body until it reached my belly. for a brief moment his hand comes back up from my skirt, using both his hands now to take off my skirt. while he tossed the skirt somewhere around the room, i began taking off my white laced panties. his eyes glued to me, it was like we were the only two people in this world.
with my panties off, i felt as the cool air hit my warm sex. jaehyun pried my legs open, using two of his fingers, to slide along my cunt. he gathered some of my juices onto his fingers only to bring them to his mouth and lick it up. “mm, so sweet. might get addicted, baby,” he says sweetly. he then brings his fingers back onto my cunt, teasing me. “p-please,” i whined.
“hmm? please what baby?” he says, staring at my desperate state. “to-touch me… your fingers, in me please,” i begged with the man above. jaehyun had you wrapped around his finger, practically putty in his hands.
jaehyun simply smiles before intruding his fingers into your hole. he feels as your gummy walls clenched around his fingers, squeezing him so tight. his eyes blessed with the sight of you trying to grind against his hand as you arch that pretty back off his bed. your beautiful singing of his name and moans we’re blessing his ears. so, so beautiful– he thought.
his fingers plunged in and out of you at a fast pace, you felt yourself nearing the end. the knot in your stomach threatening to unleash at any moment, just a little more, a little…
“don’t worry baby, go on cum… i got you,” jaehyun groaned. it was then when he brought his thumb into the mix, using the digit to rub your clit so deliciously. you grip the bed sheet, eyes rolling back until you saw white. your orgasm came crashing out, better than any previous orgasms you’ve or other guys have given you.
i panted, trying to catch my breath from that mind-blowing orgasm. my eyes returned to focus back to jaehyun as he licked his hands clean. when he finished he opened the drawer on his nightstand, fishing out a condom. unzipping his pants, he pulls them down along with his boxers until his cock sprung out. the poor thing looked hard as a rock, his tip red and leaking with pre-cum. my mouth nearly drooled at the sight, i wanted it in my mouth, a taste of it. “next time baby, right now i really wanna be in you,” he says, when he notices how focused i was on his cock.
he opens the condom, then sliding it onto his cock. “can you go lay over there baby,” he says, pointing in the direction of where his pillows were. i quickly made my way over there, laying back on my back. the mattress dipped when jaehyun got on, and he stopped in front of me. one of his hands wrapped around his cock. “open up for me baby,” he says in a low voice. opening my legs for him, he shuffled a bit further. his cock reached my pussy, where he used my wetness on the condom.
“ready?” he says, eyes staring straight at mine. i nodded my head, yes. all the confirmation jaehyun needed to start pushing his cock inside you. he was unlike any guy you’ve had before. the delicious stretch of his cock has you a moaning mess, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him deeper. the tight squeezing of your pussy around his cock doesn’t go unnoticed by him as it has him groaning and moaning into your ear.
“you feel so good, baby. so perfect. it’s as if you were made for me, this pussy was made for me,” he whispered into my ear. his words ignited me even more, my pussy clenching around him all the more. when all of him was in me, he lifted his body up and grabbed my thighs on both his hands. “don’t squeeze me too tight now or i won’t last long,” he says before sliding his cock out, leaving his tip inside.
gripping me tighter, he pounded his cock back inside me. thrusting ruthlessly and hard, i could feel as he reached deep inside me– his tip kissing my cervix beautifully. the pace didn’t falter even after what felt like 10 minutes. i moaned and chanted his name like it was the only word in my vocabulary. drool escaping my mouth and eyes watering with tears, was the state i was in. “who’s making you feel so good baby?” he says slightly panting.
when i didn’t answer, jaehyun lifted one of my legs higher. in this position, his cock pierced inside me even deeper than before. i could practically feel his nestled in my womb. “mmm~ ahh, uhh fuck. y-you! you! only you are jae!” i moaned loudly.
satisfied with your response, jaehyun decides to give you a reward. he places his thumb back onto your swollen clit, abusing the poor thing. with every pinch and rub to your clit you were growing closer. however, you felt strange. as you tried voicing your concern, jaehyun shushes you with his mouth on yours.
by this time it was too late, you came gushing out like a waterfall. he parts from the kiss, saliva connecting the two of you. he looks down to where you both were conjoined, “let me guess, that was your first time squirting?” you nodded dumbly, too fucked out of your mind. “wow, i’m honored baby,” he says as he continues fucking me through my orgasm. through my hazy state i noticed as his pace began to falter, slowing down a bit.
his cock twitched inside me, allowing himself to thrust a couple more times before he came into the condom. the air of his room smelled like sex, evidence of what had just transpired. he pulls out, taking off the condom as he walks over to dispose of it. “that was amazing baby,” he says, going back to lay beside me.
his arms wrap around my body, embracing me as we laid there. “i’ll clean you up in a bit, let us just enjoy this for now,” he says. before i knew it my eyes fluttered shut. i passed out for the night, too exhausted to stay awake for even a second more.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
i stirred my eyes open, coming face to face with the bright summer sun. i got up, taking my surroundings in. an unfamiliar bedroom… no wait, this is jaehyun’s bedroom. in that moment, the flashbacks of what happened last night replayed in my head. i turned to the other side of the bed, noticing it empty, but the scrambled bed sheets signified he was in fact there. i looked down to notice myself in a shirt that wasn’t mine, jaehyun’s.
fuck. wait… why did it dawn to me now that i literally agreed into becoming jaehyun’s –real– girlfriend. yuna... isn’t this betrayal? did i cross the line? i couldn’t ponder for too long before the bedroom door flung open.
jaehyun.
he wore gray sweats and a white t-shirt. “drooling already?” he teased coming to my side. i got up, sitting on the edge as i wiped my lips and felt as something wet touched the back of my hand. fuck i really was drooling. he laughed, going onto his knees, laying his head on my thighs. i combed a hand through his hair, “you’re quite the beast jaehyun.” he glances up, “what are you trying to say?” he says raising a brow.
“you know exactly what i mean!” slightly raising my voice. he still acted like he had no idea what i was referring to. “ughh, thanks to you i could barely walk,” i said shyly. it was true though, getting up from the bed, i could feel the ache.
he chuckled, “but you enjoyed it didn’t you?” i squinted my eyes, “we-well yes, but that’s besides the point! anyways did you clean me?” he nods his head, “yup, but you were sleeping so soundly i didn’t wanna wake you up, you’re quite the heavy sleeper babe.”
my heart nearly melted, “thanks jaehyun.” he smiled, a mischievous one in which i knew meant no good. “how about giving me a reward?” he asks sweetly. no matter how much i tried resisting i ended up giving in.
“i-thought this was a reward for you?” i tried saying as the sensation of his tongue running along my cunt cleared all normal functions from my brain. “it is,” he says as he raises his head to look into my lustful eyes. “your sweet pussy is such a delicacy for me. plus i haven’t had any breakfast yet,” he continues saying, giving me a wink at the end as he dove back in.
last night was not enough for jaehyun it seems so because you two were going right back at it throughout the morning. i mean not that you were complaining...
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february 13th. the day before jaehyun’s birthday and also we can’t forget valentine’s day.
it has now been well over 6 months since me and jaehyun had begun dating and all of it has been a bliss. jaehyun truly was the best boyfriend i could ever ask for. everything seemed right, but then i spiraled into a panic. it wasn’t often but occasionally guilt would eat me away, my consciousness yelling at me. however it was too late to turn back now, not unless a time machine magically appeared. yet again, i didn’t regret a single thing… was it bad that i didn’t?
but i see her, yuna, in the back of my mind. all the time, like a fever. did i cross the line?
and i then realized that it wasn’t reassurance that i needed from jaehyun, it felt like something more, something i so desperately was trying to search for…
nonetheless today is his pre-birthday dinner! i can’t be moping around in depressing thoughts! quickly getting outta bed, i began getting myself ready. unlike other days, today i went for a cute some-what skin tight dress, heels, loose curled hair, and a tad bit more make-up. before making my way downstairs to meet up with jaehyun, i grabbed a small gift bag and tucked it inside my purse.
as i made my way down, i saw his car come rolling in. a smile making its way on my face as he gets out of the car to greet me. “you’re quite breathtaking,” he says as he pecked me on my lips. i let out a dreamy sigh, “and you’re quite the charmer.” he smiled, taking my hand to guide me to the passenger seat of his car. after shutting the door, he walks over to his door and begins the drive.
unfortunately, he knew about his pre-birthday dinner, only because i am not the world’s best driver so i can’t be the one to drive us there. i planned for it to be a small dinner at an italian restaurant we both enjoyed. however, what he was unaware of was about how i called the restaurant a couple days ago to inform them if they could bring out a cake. so technically i’m still seeing this as a whole surprise!
when we finally arrived at the restaurant, he took my hand in his to walk me. luckily for those reservations we made because if not we would’ve waited hours just to get a table. when we got situated at our table, a waiter came by not too later to take our orders. once we got our food, we ate while chatting about anything and everything. we enjoyed each other’s presence as we ate on a cool february night.
a while later i excused myself, under the circumstances that i had to use the restroom. yet in reality i was going to go inform the waiter to bring out the cake. i returned to my seat afterwards and waited for them to arrive.
“happy, happy birthday! happy birthday! happy birthday to you!” the waiters around us sang as they clapped their hands. i recorded the scene as jaehyun look bewildered, his cheeks adorning a pink-ish color. cute, i thought. one of the waiter places the cake on the table, and after they finished singing jaehyun blew the candle. the waiters later dispersed, leaving me and jaehyun alone.
“so this is why you wanted to come here?” he questioned. i smirked, “yup, yup and they so kindly agreed to it!” he sighed before giving me a slice of his cake. we continued chatted whilst we ate the very delicious cake. whereas i note jaehyun’s eyes never leaving me, watching me intently as i licked the icing off my fork.
jaehyun clears his throat, catching my attention, “w-we should get going soon.” i raised my brow, “huh, but-” he interrupted me before i could continue, “i have a better idea.”
“oh yeah, and what could that be?” i questioned him. “you’ll see. follow me,” he says, getting up and taking me by my wrist. we quickly stop by to pay before we leave. jaehyun’s pace slightly rushed.
when we arrived at the parking garage, he pinned me to the passenger door. not even a second later does he take my lips on his. he kisses me with such passion, lust, and hunger— even if he had just eaten. i was a bit bewildered at first but i soon sink into the kiss, my arms wrapping around his neck.
his knee comes in between my legs, as his hands began to roam my body. a hand slips under my dress, causing me to moan into the kiss when i feel his hand travel further up only stopping to rub two of his fingers against my pussy.
i pant as i part from the kiss, “s-stop, not here jae.” i felt hazy already, and as i looked at him i noticed those lustful eyes of his. “get in then, we’ll continue this somewhere else,” he mutters into my ear before pecking my temple. we rushed inside the car, leaving the parking lot as he drove us quickly to the nearest hotel.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
we just barely made it inside the door when jaehyun’s desperate hands began removing the dress i wore, later pooling at the bottom of my feet. “fuck, when i saw you in that dress i wanted nothing more but to rip it off you and fuck you,” he mumbles into my ear as his hand begin to remove my panties. “no bra too? fuck, you’re going to be the death of me baby,” he groaned.
being completely naked with the cool door pressed against my back, jaehyun soaks me all in before using his fingers to rub against my cunt again. “this wet already? all for me, is that right?” he continues teasing. i let out a small whimper before muttering “yes.”
jaehyun quickly takes his hand away from my aching pussy, licking his fingers clean. he moans in satisfaction as he tastes my juices. using both his hands, he quickly begins removing his clothes, his hard cock resting against his stomach. he watches as i stare intently, bringing one hand to his cock he begins jerking it. fuck, now this is going to kill me.
“Get on your knees baby,” he says. i sank into my knees in no time, face only about an inch away from his leaking cock. “open,” he continues as he grabs the back of my head to inch me closer to his cock. my mouth falls open, making on “o” shape. “good girl,” he groans when his tip intrudes inside my mouth.
he slowly moved his cock furthur inside my mouth, but when i begin to slightly gag he stopped. “you can take it, ain’t you’re first time baby,” he says and he has a point, though it was just too big i could never seem to fit it without gagging, drooling, or tearing up. he begins moving his cock again, and i finally feel the tip reach down my throat, so deep. “that’s right, shoved down deep in ya,” he groans. he stays snugged in my mouth for a moment before telling me, “now your turn, suck me off baby.”
i place my hands against his thighs to move my head back, until only his tip was inside. i use my tongue to swirl around his tip, my hands soon helping in jerking the rest of his cock. i hear the way jaehyun’s moans and groans filled the room, my ears blessed.
i let go of his tip, bringing my tongue to lick him along his cock and pecking his tip. i repeated this on the other side, glancing up to look at jaehyun’s state. he was an absolute wreck already.
“come on baby, i told ya to suck it,” he groans. so i stop licking his cock, sinking his cock slowly into my mouth. “th-that’s it, your mouth feels so fucking good. cock fits all snug, ain’t that right baby.”
jaehyun’s words ignited a fire within me. i eagerly began sucking his cock, bobbing my head while he held me. while i was doing my ministrations on his cock, i felt my breathing getting constricted so i stopped. i kept the head in my mouth still, using my tongue to swirl around it.
once i felt well again, i took him back in. my hands traveled to his balls, fondling them as i continued sucking on him at a slightly faster pace. the noises he emitted signaled he was close to releasing. so in a despair, jaehyun’s hips began moving. he fucked his cock inside my mouth ruthlessly as i gagged and tears rolled down my face. yet still it felt so good; i didn’t stop the swirling of my tongue on his cock nor the fondeling on his balls.
“so close baby, just a bit more,” he moans. a couple more thrusting of his hips into my mouth, he releases inside it. the taste of his cum courses throughout me. he pulls his cock out, using his fingers to shove back any of his cum that had escaped. i swallowed all that he gave me, opening my mouth to show there was no more.
“get up and bend over,” his deep voice says. i do as he says once more, placing my hands on the door whilst my ass comes into his view. i hear him emit a pleased moan before groping my ass. “so beautiful,” he mutters.
you feel as he slides his cock in between ur ass, rubbing it against you. almost naturally you begin to move, you wanted nothing more but for him to fuck you. a low laugh comes out of his mouth before he slaps your ass. you couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. the coolness of the door, brushing against your already hardened nipples.
you feel as he slides his cock in between ur ass, rubbing it against you. almost naturally you begin to move, you wanted nothing more but for him to fuck you. a low laugh comes out of his mouth before he slaps your ass. you couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. the coolness of the door, brushing against your already hardened nipples.
it wasn’t long though before he slid himself inside you. his cock enters you almost smoothly. “so wet, it slid right in,” he chuckles, fingers digging into your ass.
he stays pressed against you for a while before he pulls back, cock sliding out too. jaehyun slides back in, those gummy walls of yours still tightening around his cock. he fucks you ruthlessly and brutally, not caring how loud you were because after all the noises coming out of you were a symphony.
his pace doesn’t falter, keeping it past 100. the sweet chants of his name, pushing himself forward. he slaps your ass more than once when he notices how you’d tighten around him even more. “i-i’m gonna cu-“ he interrupts you. jaehyun uses his hand to turn your head around, locking his lips onto yours. the two of you hungrily kissed one another, so lost in it that you failed to notice when his hand traveled down.
you moan into the kiss when you feel his digits, working on your clit. pinching and rubbing you so good that you felt your stomach tighten. letting go of his lips, saliva connecting you moan out loud when you feel your orgasm unleashing. you faintly hear the sound of it splashing onto the floor, making a mess. “good girl,” he praises you as he continues fucking into you.
your orgasm only made you tighten around him all the more, scrambling with jaehyun’s brain. he was getting close and you could feel it in the change in pace. his cock twitches inside you and he slaps your ass roughly one last time before you gush inside you. his hot white seeds painting your womb, stuffing you full.
jaehyun pulls out hesitantly, his eyes feasting upon your fucked state. his seeds slowly spilling down your legs. “not yet,” he mumbles before he effortlessly carries you to the bed.
he didn’t let you rest the whole night, continuing to spill deep inside you in the bed, against the wall, and in the bathroom where you two were supposed to “shower.” and well while he took you in the shower, it’d occur to you something important…
“happy birthday love,” you say as you kiss his lips. ah right, jaehyun remembers too that it was his birthday now. he smiles into the kiss, feeling your love. a long fucking later, the two of you collapse on the bed, both so utterly exhausted from the night’s activities. the last thing you remember was when he engulfs you into him, pecking your head as your eyes flutter shut.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
the sun shines through the curtains, stirring your eyes open. you grumble as you turn to the other side of the bed, prying jaehyun’s hands off of you. you get up to use the restroom as you had the urge to pee.
once you finish your business, you go over to the sink to wash your hands, looking in the mirror. the hickies and love bites all over your body capturing your attention. that dumbass, you thought.
making your way out the bathroom, you notice jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed. “awake already?” he asks. i smile, “i should be asking you that birthday boy.”
“come here,” he says. “i’m not gonna suck you off again,” i replied. his face saddened, “why not?” “i know you’re just teasing me,” i said. he chuckled before signaling me over. i go over to him, sitting beside him. “how’d you sleep,” he asks, resting his head on my shoulder. “like a baby,” i reply. “how about you?” he pondered for a moment, “the best i’ve ever slept in my whole life,” he answered. i giggled at his response. we stayed like that for a while, his head resting on my shoulder and mine on top of his, in silence before he looked up to kiss my lips. the kiss was gentle and full of love.
he pulls away, “i love you.” i smile at him— i know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me. “i love you too jae.”
soon after, jaehyun gets up saying he needs to use the restroom. i’m left alone in the room, lost in my own thoughts until i hear a phone ping. i turn to the nightstand beside the bed. jaehyun’s phone is the only one there. i inch closer to grab his phone as curiosity took over me.
phone in hand i press on the screen, a message displayed on his home screen. an unsettling feeling set in my stomach, nauseating even. my fingers moved on their own, inputting his pass code. then my fingers tap on the message’s app.
i froze. my heart stopped beating. the feeling of wanting to throw up arising in my throat. this couldn’t be, no what?
yuna…
what was her contact doing in his phone. it didn’t make any sense.
the message he received from her was simple: “happy birthday.” however there were 10+ messages left unopened. once again my finger moved on their own, opening their chat.
my eyes watered until eventually tears came spilling out of my eyes. i couldn’t believe what i was seeing. messages yuna sent over the course of our relationship. from “i miss you” to “i’m lonely, miss you fucking me.” and probably the worst of it,  images of her bare and open displayed. i was beyond sick to my stomach.
however, that wasn’t even the bad part. as i scroll further up i found messages in which he had responded to. their conversations disgusted me, how could he do this while we dated? while he whispered to me he loved me? had it all really been nothing but a lie, a play?
“hey baby, how about we- shit!” jaehyun says coming out of the bathroom. he notices your sobbing state, his phone in your hands. he rushes over to you, “wh-what happened baby?” he asks. though as he reaches over to try and wipe the tears off your face, you swat his hand away. he widened his eyes in surprise, you’d never done this before.
you shove the phone to his chest, in which he takes it into his hands. all color drained from his face when he saw what it was that made you like this. “look y/n i can explain,” he starts off but you stop him. “explain what?! how since the start you’ve been cheating on me!?” i replied back in a harsh tone. i begin to get up from the bed, roaming the hotel room in search of my clothes. “j-just please, baby hear me out,” he continued.
“fine, i’ll hear you out,” i said, picking up my clothes. jaehyun begins, “i-i well fuck, where do i even begin,” he groaned, palming his face. you made a sour look, it’s so bad he doesn’t even know where to start, you think as you pull your dress over your body.
“you know when i first approached you asking to fill in as my fake girlfriend?” he starts, but when you don’t respond he continues. “you told me that day that if it was a ploy to get back with her, you wouldn’t do it…” again, he is met by your silence. “well, in truth y/n that was all there was to it. my father didn’t really care if i had someone in my life or not, i.. i just selfishly wanted her back. at the time however i knew she wanted nothing to do with me, so then popped the idea of using you as a means to get back with her.”
“you’re disgusting,” i say, crying all over again. his face showcasing hurt. how could he be the one hurt in this situation, you thought.
“you’re not wrong about that,” he says. “so then when did it start?” i questioned. “the day after we met my father,” he confessed. “that following day i went over to your apartment complex, waiting until she appeared. and well when she did, i confronted her. that day i pleaded with her, and so we spent the entire day together. we managed to clear our misunderstandings, and well we ended up.. in my bed,” jaehyun continued, hesitating to say the last words.
his bed? the very first place we spent passionately together… i couldn’t comprehend it, my heart ached so much it started going numb.
“after that night, we actually never saw each other again. instead we resorted to calling and eventually just texting. it went on for a while actually, in fact a couple months after we actually started dating…” every word coming out of his mouth was another stab to me, hurting me the more he continued. “however… the more time i spent with you, knowing you all the more i began realizing how i’d fallen in love with you,” he confesses. “bullshit,” i blurted out.
“it’s not… please believe me y/n,” he pleads with me. “how could i? why should i? you fucking lied to me jaehyun!” i shouted, every raw emotion coming out.
“fine… if you won’t believe me that’s fine but, y/n i truly did fall in love with you. i love you to this day, this very moment. and since realizing that i stopped answering her, it didn’t matter to me when she’d occasionally message me because all i wanted was you!” jaehyun says.
“love doesn’t mean lying jaehyun.” i watched as he opened his mouth again, but closed it soon after. he knew you were right. “i- i get that i was in the wrong but-” he starts by saying before i decide to cut him off. “enough of this jaehyun, no matter what comes out of that mouth of yours won’t change my mind.”
“wh-what do you mean,” he mutters, his lips trembling. jaehyun feared what you meant by this, he feared his number one fear coming true. that fear was none other than losing you.
“i mean that we’re over.”
your words hit jaehyun like a bulldozer. so hard he almost feels the pieces of his shattered heart. never once in his life has regretted his life, unlike today. he should’ve told you, he knows he should’ve but he was too cowardly to do so. and now he’s bearing the consequences, watching you deeply hurt because of his actions.
when you feel as though nothing more could be said or done, you grab your purse and walked to the hotel doorway. you faintly hear as jaehyun calls out to you, but you try to ignore it. however he grabs one of your arms by your wrist, stopping you just as you were about to open the door.
you turn back, “what?” you say in annoyance. “pl-please don’t leave. just tell me how i could fix things, you-” you interrupt him again.
more annoyed this time you say, “what don’t you get!? jaehyun we’re over! nothing you say or do now is going to change what happened.” he grips you a little tighter, causing you to look up at him. your heart almost sinks as you see him with tears rolling down his eyes like waterfalls. oddly enough you also begin to shed tears.
“p-please,” you plead with him. “just let me go jae. you and i both know this is irreversible.” his eyes soften, causing you to look down. you just couldn’t look at him, it hurt you even more. that was when you noticed the small gift bag in your purse.
his birthday present. you’d forgotten to give it to him. you know that now is not the right time to give it to him, but nonetheless you still decide to do so. taking out the small gift, you hand it over to him. that causes his hand to let go of your wrist so that he’d be able to take the gift in both his hands.
swiftly you grab the door handle, opening the door. you glance back one last time, a frozen jaehyun in the doorway. “goodbye jaehyun,” you say as you walk out. then right before the door closes you hear him say for one last time, “i love you, y/n.”
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
once you made it inside the elevator you slumped down to your knees, waterfalls of tears omitting from your eyes. you couldn’t believe it, jaehyun… how could he. moments of the two you flashed through your head.
part of you wishing you’d said more, questioned him more. like asking him: “do you see her, in the back of your mind? In my eyes?” but then again part of it felt like it made sense now, why you were always on edge.
as you walked along the side walk, you thought that perhaps this was for the best. i mean everything happens for a reason after all. one day this would be all but just a fleeting memory, a blurry memory i would have no recollection of. i’d hoped and prayed for that.
today. valentine’s day, cryin’ in the hotel… i know you didn’t mean to hurt me so i kept it to myself.
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© jhdyuiee
2024.07.13
final a.n: as promised here is the other fic i planned to release 😛!! woohoo, this was a rlly fun one to write, since i deeply enjoy this song that the fic is inspired by. also ngl when i was writing the second snusnu scene i was playing cas new album “x’s” && started sobbing ㅠㅠ . oh pls anyhow i hope u enjoyed this one, it was quite long but felt worth writing 🤍 also! thank u for all the love on “million dollar baby !” i appreciated all the love and support thank uuuu! stay safe yall & love u all very much, jiji out 🤍 [ new fic out next week: expect haechan or doyoung 🤫 ] !
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 6 months
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Can You Feel My Heart - GF!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
This was a request I got over a month ago, and the person that asked for it was very detailed in the things they wanted, and I didn't want to give away the entire fic before anyone read it lmao. If you're the one that requested it, I hope you like it! It's definitely a bigger one, 5.9k words🙃
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I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You were supposed to die in Tara and Sam's apartment, but you never showed. When he tries to finish the job, he realizes that he can't hurt you, and you help him decided to save the rest of your friends.
Contains: Dryhumping? Oral - m & f receiving, p in v, fingering. Nothing too crazy, Ethan's an inexperienced virgin for the most part in this.
A/N: Deadass want to write something where reader makes Ethan cum in his pants💀
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Ethan knew he couldn’t do what his family asked when it came to hurting you, but after hours of Quinn telling Ethan that you’d never want him, and that you would never see him as anything more than a pathetic loser, he’d channeled enough rage towards you to hopefully do the job he was asked to do.
When he popped out of Quinn’s closet that night and killed her flavor of the week, the adrenaline was already pumping through his veins. When he went out to the main area of the apartment, he searched for you. He thought back to the text you sent him about being bummed that he had econ and couldn’t join you and the rest of the friend group, so he knew this was where you were supposed to be. He didn’t let you not being there throw everything off, it just meant Anika had to die before it was originally planned.
He met with his dad before he had to show up at the crime scene and play the roll of the grieving father to explain how everything actually played out.
“She wasn’t there?!” Wayne yelled, as Ethan nodded, his breathing still heavy from all the running to get away from the apartment before anyone had a chance to see him. “Fuck, I thought you had this all planned out!”
“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, “She was supposed to be there. I guess she changed her mind.”
“You’re going to finish the job though, right?” Wayne asked, knowing how much convincing it took to get Ethan to want to kill you in the first place.
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it. I know tomorrow’s supposed to be the end of all this, but I have her schedule memorized. I’ll just break into her apartment before she get’s home from class, kill her, and I’ll meet you at the theater,” he said, as Wayne nodded in approval.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”
The next day, you went to class. You’d heard about another attack but had no idea it was Anika and Quinn. With you backing out of coming over to Tara and Sam’s last minute before the attacks happened, your friends couldn’t help but wonder if you could’ve been the one that caused her death. You were the last person they’d suspect, but they thought it was a little strange.
Finally, Tara called you when you were walking back home after your morning classes.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t come over last night. I was so tired,” you said, as soon as you answered the phone.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” Tara said. You immediately heard the sadness in her voice.
“Wait, what happened?” you asked, before you heard Mindy yelling at Tara for calling you in the background. “Tara, what’s going on?”
“The killer came to the apartment last night…Quinn and Anika are dead,” she said, as you were walking through your front door.
“Oh my god,” you said, bracing yourself against the doorway as you took in the news she just told you. “Is Mindy okay?” you asked as you started to get emotional. You weren’t the closest to Anika yet, but you were getting there. You loved her sweet yet sarcastic personality, and you’d recently started to get to know her better from the study sessions with her and Ethan.
“No, not really,” Tara sighed, “Were you really home last night? I hate to ask you because I don’t think you’d do anything like this…but you saying you weren’t coming over last minute was a little suspicious.”
You were taken aback by her accusations, and were about to respond, when you heard the beeping that someone else was calling you. You felt annoyed as you saw the unknown number, quickly declining it before you responded to Tara.
“Tara, I promise you I was at home. I was so tired after class yesterday,” you got out, before you started to get another unknown number call, “Fuck, someone keeps calling me. I’ll text you in a little bit. We’ll figure out who’s doing this.”
“Okay, be safe,” she said, before you ended the call and answered whoever kept calling you.
“Hello?” you asked, the irritation in your voice obvious as you heard a chuckle on the other end of the call.
“I thought you were just going to keep ignoring me.”
You immediately recognized the voice. You’d heard it several times before in the Stab movies, and started to think this was some kind of sick prank.
“Who is this?” you asked, walking towards your kitchen, “Because this isn’t funny.”
“Oh, you sweet, dumb thing,” the person responded, a hint of laughter still in their voice. “I think this is hilarious. You’re all alone in your apartment, no one to save you…”
You tensed up as you glanced around the areas of your apartment that you could see from the kitchen, before inching your way towards the drawer that contained the knives.
“Don’t even think about it,” the voice said, the realization that whoever this was could see you in that moment setting in.
“Who the fuck is this?” you asked, your voice a little shaky as your anxiety kicked in.
“Aww, are you scared?” the voice cooed, “Because you should be.”
That’s when you saw the masked figure darting towards you from your bedroom. You tried to make a run for the front door, but Ghostface was hot on your heels. The knife was shoved in your direction in attempts to slow you down, but the knife penetrated the wood of your door. The killer struggled for a few seconds as they tried to get the knife out, giving you the smallest amount of time to get away from them.
You ran to your living room, searching for anything you could use to help you defend yourself, when you noticed that Ghostface had joined you in the room, holding the knife up as they stared at you.
“Why are you doing this?” you cried. Seeing you like this had Ethan feeling so guilty, but Quinn’s words kept replaying in his head. He didn’t say anything as he charged towards you again. You tried to fight him off, but you were quickly overpowered by him.
He threw you to the ground before he straddled your body. You kept trying to fight, refusing to just give up, even though this person was a lot stronger than you. Both of Ghostface’s hands were wrapped around his knife as they held it over their head, your life literally flashing before your eyes as you waited for it all to be over.
Ethan hesitated, though. The fear in your eyes, your tear-soaked cheeks, and the sobs slipping past your lips were something he knew would haunt him if he went through with this.
“I’m so sorry,” you heard, recognizing the voice as the knife was lowered and clanked on the floor beside you. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Ethan?!” you choked out, gaining enough strength to shove him off you. You used your hands and feet to back yourself closer to the wall, pulling yourself up by the windowsill as he sat on the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“I don’t know,” he cried, pulling the mask over his head and throwing it in frustration. “I can’t do anything right.”
You eyed him as you stood against the wall, watching him cry. You were so shaken up and furious, but you couldn’t help but wonder how Ethan ended up in this position. He was this shy, sweet person that you enjoyed spending time with, and maybe it was your personal feelings towards him, but you felt bad for him.
You walked over to where the knife was, kicking it to the other side of the room under your tv stand. If he had a change of heart and decided he wanted to kill you, you knew him trying to fish that out would give you enough time to escape.
“What the fuck, Ethan?” you sighed, standing beside him as he still sat in his place on the floor. “Why?”
He just kept crying, so ashamed of himself that he got roped into his dad’s plan in the first place. He felt sick, and not just mentally. He was fighting his nausea as you finally crouched down beside him.
“Talk to me,” you said, as he finally looked up at you. He looked scared, his pupils huge as his chin quivered.
“My family is behind all this,” he said, jumping up off the floor as you hesitantly stood up. “Fuck, they’re gonna kill me.”
You started to get nervous all over again as he paced the floor. His hands were shaking, and you couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or anger, but you stepped as far away from him as you could.
“I don’t even understand why you were a part of this in the first place. You didn’t have anything to do with Richie dying,” he ranted, before pausing for a second, “Are you close to your parents?”
You just stared at him, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t the Ethan you knew, and his erratic behavior had a huge lump in your throat.
“I bet your parents love you. I bet they’d never treat you the way my dad treats me,” he said, after you didn’t answer him. “I bet they never make you feel like you’re worthless.”
“You’re not worthless,” you said softly, his head snapping in your direction. You hesitated before speaking again. “Your family is doing this because of Richie? How is he a part of this?”
Ethan stepped towards you, as you backed even further against the wall. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
You shook your head as you looked at him, “You just tried to kill me, Ethan…I’m terrified of you right now.”
“Fuck,” he said, tearing up again. “Richie was my brother. I know you heard the story about Sam stabbing him and slitting his throat,” Ethan paused, you nodded for him to continue, “My dad and sister wanted revenge. I didn’t want to do any of this.”
“Then why did you?” you questioned, as he wiped tears from his cheeks.
“Because my dad told me that it would finally make him proud of me for something…and he said he’d just kill me too if I didn’t help with all this.”
You started to relax against the wall a little as you processed everything. This wasn’t about him wanting to hurt you or anyone else, he just wanted to be loved by the one person that should’ve loved him regardless. He was broken, and even though the voice inside your head kept screaming that you were stupid for wanting to comfort him, your huge heart was breaking for him.
“Ethan,” you said, slowly stepping towards him, “Everything will be okay.”
“No it won’t!” he yelled, making you jump, “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, noticing that he’d scared you again. He started to speak in a softer tone, “My dad is a fucking detective…even if I try to run away from all of this, he’d just find me.”
You stood there in silence for a few seconds as the realization hit you, “Detective Bailey?” you asked, as he nodded.
“Quinn is a part of this, too. She’s my sister.”
“Ethan…Quinn died last night. This isn’t making sense,” you said, as he scoffed.
“She’s not dead…I wish she was, though. I fucking hate her.”
You both stood in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds heard in the room was his heavy breathing and the occasional sob he’d let out…and the pounding in your chest but you were sure only you could hear that.
“I know you probably hate me right now, and I’m so sorry that I scared you like that. You didn’t deserve it,” he finally said, his eyes connecting with yours. “I’d rather my own life be over than take yours.”
“Your life isn’t over,” you said, as he started to awkwardly laugh.
“It is, though. I still helped with this. I’m going to spend the rest of my life in prison.”
“Not if you stop all this. You can still do the right thing,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your suggestion. “I’m the only person that knows…I won’t say anything.”
He looked at you in disbelief, unsure if you were serious or if you just had a really good poker face.
“I do have another question, though,” you said, walking closer towards him, until he was right in front of you. “Why didn’t you kill me?”
You wanted to pull him into a hug. You wanted him to feel like he was cared about. But you really needed to know why he changed his mind last minute before you did anything.
“I uhm…” he said, trailing off as he tried to find the right words to say, “I really like you, You’re just so sweet, and you’re always showing interest in the things I like, even if you don’t understand it. Quinn tried to make me hate you enough to do it, but I couldn’t.”
“So…Quinn tried to convince you to kill me?” you asked, a little confused. You’d spent plenty of time with her at Sam and Tara’s. You now knew that her kindness towards you was all an act, but you didn’t understand why she thought you needed to die.
“Yeah, she knew how I felt about you,” he said, glancing at the floor as his cheeks started to turn a rosy pink. “She said you’d never want to be with me. That doesn’t matter, though. That wasn’t a good enough reason for me to finish the job.”
“Is that all I am to you? A job?” you half-joked, as he started to smile, looking back up at you.
“Not at all.”
You both just stared at each other as he started to calm down. His eyes were red from all the crying, the guilt for even trying to hurt you painted on his face, but you still grabbed his hands and pulled him close to you.
“It’s going to be okay, Ethan. I’ll help you get through this,” you said, as your hands comfortingly ran over his back. He relaxed into your touch, but he was still a little shocked that you didn’t hate him at that moment.
“Are you okay?” he softly asked, “I know I slammed you on the floor pretty hard.”
“I’m still pissed at you, but I’m okay,” you said, as you started to pull away. He held onto you tighter, not wanting to let you go just yet. “Ethan,” you said sternly, “We need to talk about something else.”
“Sorry…you have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve had affection like this,” he mumbled against you, before pulling away. “I’m really fucked up, aren’t I?”
“I might be a little fucked up, too. I want to make you feel better after you tried to kill me,” you said, as he shook his head.
“You’re not fucked up, you’re perfect.”
You grabbed his gloved hand and led him over to the couch. He realized that he was still wearing the robe and pulled it off, tossing it on the floor before he sat down beside you. Your eyes connected with his as you slid the gloves off his hands and threw them on top of the robe.
“I know your family has their plans, but we need to save the rest of our friends,” you said, his heart pounding when you said the word ‘we’.
“No, you can’t help. I can’t let anything happen to you. I’ll take care of it,” he said, as your hands still held onto his. He looked down at them, before looking back up at you. “You mean a lot to me, even if you don’t feel the same way I do.”
You smirked at him as your thumbs rubbed against the top of his hands, “I never said I didn’t feel the same way you do.”
The tension was building up as you just looked at each other. He wasn’t the most experienced, and you knew that, so you decided to make the first move. You leaned in and gently kissed him before you pulled away. He had a sweet smile on his lips, his cheeks pink, but he wanted more.
He gained a little confidence, leaning forward to kiss you. It wasn’t a simple peck like yours was, as his lips needily moved against yours. Your head was spinning as he pushed you back on the couch, his body hovering over yours as you ran your tongue across his bottom lip. He gasped at the feeling, giving you the opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth. He didn’t know what to do at first, but soon enough, his tongue was moving with yours.
After a few minutes, he pulled away so you could both catch your breath. He was panting on top of you, a small gasp slipping out of your mouth as he adjusted his hips to get more comfortable in his place between your legs.
You started to get a little lost in thought, wondering if you were crazy. You didn’t expect to be making out with Ethan after he held a knife over you and scared you more than you’d ever been, but it just felt right.
You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to kiss you. The grip you had on his shirt relaxed, your fingertips gently running down his chest. He started to tense up a little when your hands reached his stomach, a small groan slipping into your mouth at the feeling. He didn’t pull away from you, the kiss only getting more intense as he started to grind against you.
“Fuck,” you mumbled against him, before nudging him back. “My bed is a lot more comfortable…just saying.”
“Okay,” he said, trying to catch his breath.
After both of you stood up, you could see how hard he was in his jeans. He subtly tried to cover it with his free hand, his other hand laced with yours as you led him to your room.
It got a lot harder for him to hide it once you pushed him back on your bed. You glanced at it before you straddled him, his cheeks turning pink, yet again.
“You keep blushing,” you said, as you started to roll your hips. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” he spat out, so quickly that you started to giggle. “Please don’t stop.”
Your hips kept moving as he placed his hands on them, pulling you closer to him. You gasped at the friction it was giving your clit, your panties getting more soaked by the second. He was starting to groan, his mouth falling open as his eyes fluttered shut.
“Okay, we need to stop,” he said, his breathing heavy as his eyes snapped open. “You’re going to make me cum in my pants.”
“Would you rather cum in my mouth?” you asked, your eyes looking deep into his. He didn’t know what to say, because he was so embarrassed that just you grinding against him was enough to almost bring him over the edge. He knew the second you put him in your mouth, he’d cum on the spot. You could tell he was nervous, his hands feeling a little shaky as he held onto you. “It’s okay, baby. We can stop.”
“No, I want to…I just don’t want you to be disappointed,” he sighed, turning his eyes away from your gaze. “Whatever we do, I know I won’t last long.”
“Ethan, I know you’re a virgin. I don’t expect you to last long.” He started to get flustered, hating the fact that his inexperience was so obvious. “It’s okay. If you want me to make you feel good, I will.”
“Shit,” he mumbled, “Okay, we can do it.”
You smirked as you slid off him and started to unbutton his jeans. He lifted his hips as you slid them down a little, the wet spot on his boxers from his precum making your mouth water even more than it already was. He sharply inhaled the second you grabbed his cock out of his boxers, his hips jolting forward at the simple action.
“Relax, baby,” you said softly as you leaned down to take him in your mouth.
You were trying to tease him a little, just swirling your tongue against his tip, when his hips jerked forward again. His cock hit the back of your throat, making you gag around him.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he whined, his chest heaving at the feeling, “I didn’t mean to do that.”
You just kept gagging around him, intentionally making your mouth more wet for him before you started to bob your head. His hands tightly gripped your comforter as you sucked, the feeling better than he could’ve ever imagined. He was trying so hard to hold back, but you made it impossible for him. His groans turned to whimpers as you started to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You knew he was close when he started to babble, only recognizing the words ‘Perfect’ and ‘So good’.
His hips started to rut forward again, his legs shaking as one of his hands went to your hair. He tightly gripped it as the feeling washed over him, his salty cum filling your mouth. After his hips stopped thrusting, you swallowed and slid him out of your mouth.
You sat there for a minute after you pulled away, watching him fully come back down from his high. He felt your gaze on him as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at you.
“That was…fuck,” he sighed, pulling you closer to him. “Can we do that again sometime?”
“I hope so,” you said, as you started to think about what Ethan had to do. “When is everything else supposed to happen, like with the Ghostface stuff?”
You sat up a little to look at him as you waited for his answer. “Shit, if I’m going to stop it, I need to get to the theater,” he sighed, pulling his boxers and jeans back over his hips. “Can we finish this later?”
“Of course,” you said, fully sitting up on your bed. “I want to come with you.”
“No, I’m not losing the girl I’m in love with,” he said, jumping off the bed and landing on his feet. He paused when he realized what he said. “I guess you know how I really feel in case I don’t make it out of this alive.”
“I’m not staying here and worrying about you all night,” you said, sliding off your bed. “Do you know the theater well?”
“Yeah, but you’re not coming!” He was starting to get irritated, but he knew with your persistence that you were coming with him whether he liked it or not. “You could get killed, babe. I can’t keep you safe and take down dad and Quinn at the same time.”
“If they already think I’m dead, don’t you think that would be helpful?” you asked, “I’ll get our friends out before anything happens to them.”
“Fuck, okay. But we need to leave right now.”
You were hoping you could catch your friends before they made it inside the theater, but you peaked around the side of the building as soon as they were going in.
“There’s a back way, just let me scope it out for Quinn first,” he said, as the two of you walked around the old theater. He slid the robe back on and covered his face with the mask before he turned to look at you. “Wait here,” he said, before he opened the door and walked inside.
You were outside for a while before you heard screaming and Ethan’s voice booming on the other side of the door. You didn’t know what was going on, you even started to think that he’d decided to go through with the original plan, after all. You screamed once the masked figure walked out, the bloody knife in their hand.
“It’s okay, babe. It’s me,” he said, reaching for your hand. You hesitantly took his hand in yours as he led you inside, noticing a huge pool of blood on the floor.
“Is that…Quinn?” you asked, noticing the body hunched over in the corner.
“Yeah, we don’t have much time. Dad will be here soon,” he said, leading you down the hallway towards the museum-like display.
You bumped into Chad and Tara when you came around a corner. They both froze when they saw you, your hand still in Ethan’s.
“It was you?” Tara asked, as your eyes went wide, realizing how this all looked.
“No, but we need to get you guys the fuck out of here,” you said, motioning for Tara to come with you. They both stood in their spot as Chad glanced around, looking for something Tara could defend herself with as he tried to take down the masked person. “I’m fucking serious! We have to go!”
“Please just listen to her,” Ethan said, as Chad and Tara looked at each other. “I know how this looks, but you need to go with her. I’ll get Sam and Kirby out next.”
“Why should we trust you?” Chad asked, as Ethan lifted the mask off.
“I’m trying to do the right thing…and it’ll all be for nothing if you don’t go with her. Please, my dad’s on his way,” he sighed, as Chad hesitantly nodded.
“We can both take her if this is bullshit,” Chad whispered to Tara as she nodded. “You’re going to get Sam and Kirby?” he asked, as Ethan nodded. “Fuck, let’s go.”
You led them down the hall as Ethan made his way into the theater to search for the other two. Once you got closer to where Quinn was, you warned them.
“Try not to freak out, but there’s a body around the corner,” you said, noticing the blood spreading across the hall.
“What the fuck is going on?” Chad finally asked, “Whoa, who is that?”
You turned to face them, the confusion on their faces obvious when they noticed the red hair.
“That’s Quinn, she never died. Detective Bailey is in on this,” you said, before trying to think of the best way to explain Ethan without telling them his involvement. “Ethan is Quinn’s brother. He figured all this out today, and he wanted to stop it.”
“Oh,” was all Tara said, as you led them out the back door.
The three of you waited outside for a while. Tara was starting to freak out, the concern for her sister’s safety made her want to go back inside.
“Where the fuck are they?” Chad asked, as he heard Sam start to yell for Tara from the front entrance.
You ran around to the front of the building, panic setting in when you saw Sam and Kirby, but no Ethan.
“What happened?” you asked, peaking around them, hoping to see him walk out behind them.
“We didn’t believe Ethan at first…until he started to fight Detective Bailey,” Sam said, noticing the sadness in your eyes as your thoughts ran wild. “He’s okay, he’s in the ambulance over there.”
“Oh my god,” you said, running over to him. He smiled at you as you crawled into the back, your anxiety fading once you saw he was okay. “I forgot to tell you something earlier,” you said, sitting down beside him. You leaned in to kiss him, mumbling “I love you, too,” against his lips before you pulled away.
You were soon joined in the back by a paramedic, who was looking over a huge gash on Ethan’s arm that you didn’t see before, the blood unnoticeable with the black robe he was still wearing.
“Oh shit,” you said, looking at it. “How hurt are you?”
“This is it,” he said with a smile, before wincing at the numbing medication being injected into his arm. “That burns.”
You were shocked after he was all stitched up and one of the new detectives on the case said he was good to go, but that he’d just need to come down to the police station the next day. Ethan looked over to you, silently thanking you for keeping your word and not ratting him out. You knew he was wrong for doing what he did to Anika, but it was so easy for it to be pinned on his dead dad.
“Thank you, Ethan,” Sam said, as he hopped out of the back of the ambulance. “We’re going back to our apartment. You guys want to come?”
You and Ethan exchanged your glances as he took your hand in his.
“No, I think we’re going to…uh, hang out?” he said, like it was a question. It made you giggle as Chad curiously eyed him. He stopped Ethan before the two of you walked away, discreetly pulling a condom out of his wallet.
“Just in case you need it,” he said, as Ethan nodded and slid it into the front pocket of his jeans.
“Thanks, dude.”
Once you made it back to your apartment, you couldn’t figure out if you were with the same nervous Ethan from earlier in the day. He had you out of your clothes in minutes, your bare back against the plush comforter as he trailed kisses down your stomach. His hands were inching up your thighs as he pushed them apart.
He moved lower, groaning at the sight of your soaked pussy before he started to place gently kitten licks to your clit. You started to moan as his tongue moved faster, your hand tangling in his curls to encourage him, as if your moaning wasn’t already doing that enough. Once he moved his tongue a little lower and swirled it inside of you, your hips involuntarily jolted, much like his did earlier in the day. When your hips kept moving, he pinned them down with his free hand as he kept lapping at the wetness dripping out of you.
“Shit, Ethan,” you moaned, which only made him go faster.
His mouth worked you closer to the edge when he pulled away. You whined at the loss of contact, knowing how close you were getting to your orgasm. He wasn’t going to let it slip away, instead using his fingers and curving them inside you.
“Right there,” you whimpered once he brushed his fingers over the spongy spot inside of you.
His fingers firmly pressed as they moved, his tongue moving back up to lick fat stripes across your swollen clit. The orgasm you were so close to having was quickly approaching again, your hips still trying to buck against him as he struggled to hold them down. Your vision was getting hazier by the second, your whimpers getting louder as your legs started to shake.
“Fuck, I’m cumming,” you whined, as your pussy started contracting around his fingers.
He pulled his mouth away from your clit to have a better view of your face as his fingers slowed inside of you. You were a panting mess as you came back down, your eyes hooded as your hands reached for him.
“Don’t take this wrong because that was amazing, but that wasn’t what I expected,” you said, your breathing still labored as he snuggled up beside you. “I didn’t really have to tell you what to do at all.”
He started to laugh to himself as his hand reached over to run along your naked body, “I guess it just came to me. I knew moaning meant I was doing something right.”
“You did everything right, fuck,” you sighed, feeling his hand run over one of your breasts, gently pinching your nipple between his fingers. “No pressure, but if you want to have sex, we can.”
“Seriously?” he asked, sitting up a little to look at you.
“Yeah, I know you already have a condom,” you said, running your hand over the pocket of his jeans. “Chad should really be a little less obvious.”
“He just wanted me to be prepared,” he sighed, sliding the condom out of his pocket.
He crawled off the bed to take his jeans off. You started to giggle as he climbed back up, the tent in his boxers obvious as he sat on his knees and looked at you.
“Those have to come off, too,” you said, as he started to blush. His hesitance made you roll your eyes as you sat up and leaned over, shimmying his boxers down his hips. “You have nothing to be self-conscious about,” you said, as his cock stood at attention right in front of your face.
You grabbed the condom off the bed beside you and opened it. He intently watched you as you rolled it on his length, the feeling making his breath hitch in his throat.
“Please don’t hate me if this doesn’t last long,” he said, as he got settled between your legs.
“No pressure,” you assured him, as he started to push inside of you, stretching your walls.
He took it slow, at first. His hands teasingly roamed the areas of your body he could reach, the tickling feeling only building your anticipation up even more. Once he got through the initial fear of cumming too quickly, he started to move a little faster. His bottom lip was in between his teeth as he looked down at you, your tits jiggling with each thrust. He held on to one of them as his other hand went to your hip, holding you in place as his thrusts sped up.
He started to groan as he fucked into you, his cheeks red as his mouth hung open. You could tell he was trying to hold back, his mind somewhere else as he tried to distract himself. You moved one of your hands to your clit, rubbing quick circles as your other hand grabbed onto his arm.
“Baby,” you moaned out, as he started to focus on you again. “Go a little faster, I’m close.”
“Shit,” he groaned, snapping his hips into yours. You started to move your hips to meet his thrusts, the feeling of the tip of your cock repeatedly hitting your g-spot had you teetering on the edge.
You let out a loud moan as the euphoric feeling washed over you, your skin tingling as your pussy clenched him. His eyes started to flutter as his thrusts started to falter, a whimper slipping past his lips as he started to fill the tip of the condom. He stilled inside of you as you just kept tightening around him, his head hanging as he caught his breath.
“God, babe,” he said, sliding out of you. “I just want to stay inside you all the time.”
You giggled at him as he laid down beside you. “Is it that good?”
“You have no fucking idea.”
You were starting to get some post-nut clarity as you laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. He’d killed three people in one day and tried to kill you. You were still so proud of him for saving the rest of the people you cared about, even if he had his little psychotic tendencies. You made a mental note to bring up therapy to him once the investigation was over, knowing he needed to work through the daddy issues he ultimately had after years of neglect. You knew that you were going to be by his side the whole way, not wanting him to feel like he didn’t matter ever again.
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halsteadlover · 1 year
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Unexpected
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*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.
• Requested by @stu-machers-girl: Reader had known Jay since she’d first started as a dispatcher for Chicago. It wasn’t long until she’d developed a crush on the older man. She didn’t say anything since she realized he was dating Erin but then she left. She left and Jay got kidnapped; reader heard it over the radio. Hank texted her to say they’d found him and she left her job without saying anything and sped to the hospital. When she saw the blonde detective in the waiting room they got into a fight and reader punched her. She refused to leave the hospital until Jay woke up and laid in bed with him the entire time. When he woke up, in the heat of the moment her lips were on his in a moment.
• Warnings: slight mention of injuries and ‘violence’ (pls bear with me I can’t write fight scene not even for saving my life), cuss words. I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything else <3
• Word count: 8368.
• A/N: so yeah, I got carried away, pls don’t hate me, I think that’s the longest piece I’ve ever written 😭. I changed it up a bit at the end, I hope it’s okay. Please let me know what you think of this? I hope you’ll like it and I already apologize for any grammar error ❤️ comment, like and reblog if you want, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your constant support, I love you all xx
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It was hard.
God, why did being in love have to be so tough?
You thought it’d be easier to control your feelings. You thought you'd be better at pretending everything was fine, pretending your heart didn't actually open into a chasm every time you even heard his name.
You thought it was just a simple crush, a simple infatuation that – knowing it couldn't go any further – it’d soon vanish. But unfortunately it wasn't easy and you soon found yourself in a spiral of suffering and thuds in your stomach. Your mind knew there would never be anything but your heart didn't want to understand it.
Falling in love with Jay wasn't planned, you’d never imagine it and you couldn't even explain how it happened or when. It's those things that just happen without any warning.
You first met Jay after your first shift as a paramedic at Molly's, where your colleagues used to meet after their shifts.
You were sitting at a table with a beer in front of you, you didn't know anyone yet – except for the colleagues you had met during the day who weren't there – and you looked around, sipping the drink from time to time, wondering when you were going to start to feel that place like home.
You moved to Chicago a month prior and it goes without saying you underestimated how difficult it’d be to start a new life in a new city, starting from scratch.
Jay had seen you from afar, looking tired and disoriented and for some reason he had decided to approach you.
When you first saw him you felt the air being cut from your chest, you didn't expect someone – someone so damn beautiful – to approach you.
That stranger you soon discovered was named Jay found himself talking with you, asking you questions about yourself and why he had never seen you before. You explained to him that you had just started working and you found out he had been a detective in the Intelligence unit for about six months.
You were never one to talk to strangers, to tell someone something about your life on the first time you met them, but for some strange reason those bright green eyes and his reassuring smile made you feel at ease, and as the evening wore by, you thanked yourself for not deciding to stay home that night.
Jay was an angel to you, literally.
After that evening he promised you he’d give you a tour of the city, making you visit the most beautiful places and taking you to the best places to eat. You exchanged numbers and he also made you promise you’d call him whenever you felt alone and wanted company.
He also introduced you to the rest of his team, as well as his closest friends, and they were just as kind and welcoming, letting you know you’d meet several times even during work shifts because of criminals and things like that.
Three years have passed since that evening and Jay kept all his promises.
Over time he became your closest friend and you spent time together whenever you both could. You had become his anchor and he had become your safe haven.
You had promised yourself over the time that your friendship would never go any further – also because Jay had never done anything that could’ve made you think otherwise – but the more time you spent together, the more you found yourself falling more and more in love with him.
You’d never tell him about it, even if it meant crying nights where you wanted to do nothing but run away and forget about him. If it was initially bearable and there was your friendship to give you strength, seeing him with another woman broke your heart more than you ever expected.
Erin was a colleague of his and you had seen their love story born right away. You'd heard Jay confide in you about her, asking you for advice on her when they were fighting, and you were there every time listening to him trying not to cry in front of him. There were times when Jay noticed that there was something wrong with you, he knew you by now, but you always managed to disengage the conversation by telling him that you were just tired from work.
You promised yourself you'd always be by his side but seeing him so happy with her… Damn it, it was so hard.
You couldn't take it anymore, you were a walking disaster and all your colleagues and friends saw how you weren't as happy and carefree as you used to be. Sylvie, who was one of your closest friends and who knew all the history with Jay, tried to always be by your side, convincing you to move on, to try to open up your world and that you didn't have to cry for him forever.
She was right, completely right.
Because of this, you had begun to distance yourself from Jay a little bit, making excuses not to go out after work or limiting interactions during the shift to the minimum possible and not speaking to him except from a professional point of view.
This broke your heart, you missed spending time with him, God how you missed him, but more than him you had to love yourself and you knew spending time with him, seeing him with another woman only would made you suffer.
Jay had immediately perceived this change but he couldn't explain why. He had tried so many times to talk to you but you didn't want to tell him what was going on and it made him particularly tense and uncomfortable.
Even Erin had noticed his moodiness and she hated to know it was because of you. She hated you were always there, in front of him, in his head, always on the way, she hated seeing how much he cared about you, she hated the way he dropped everything and ran to you whenever you needed him.
She hated you.
And, dear lord, how much you hated her too. The feelings between you and her were pretty mutual.
You didn't know it, but you had been the cause of many arguments a thousand times between them. Erin wanted him to stay away from you, Jay refused to and always told her if she really wanted him you were part of the deal, take it or leave it.
You were at home one evening, resting on the sofa after a grueling work shift while watching a movie on TV and eating some chips. Sylvie had offered you to go to some bar and get drunk but you declined, not in the mood to socialize or even drink. You just wanted to stay at home and rest, hoping that day would soon be forgotten.
The ringing of your doorbell almost made you jump and you furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting anyone at the time. You placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of the sofa and got up and as you rubbed your hands on your shirt to remove the crumbs from the chips, you went towards the door.
You expected it to be Sylvie but, after looking through the peephole, your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Jay.
“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your shabby outfit which consisted of a simple pair of midnight blue leggings and a gray t-shirt.
What was he doing there?
“Y/N open the door, I know you're home,” Jay's voice came muffled through the door. For a moment you considered ignoring him until he got tired of it and walked away but you knew that would never happen and he’d keep banging on the doorbell until you opened it.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and slow down your racing heartbeat, and opened the door after removing the chain.
Jay looked up at you, his features visibly relaxing as his eyes fell on your figure. Your mouth felt dry as your gaze traveled up and down his body for an instant, as if to accept that he was fine.
“Hi,” you muttered, your voice so thin you were afraid he might not hear you. Your stomach was in a vice and a flock of butterflies had exploded inside you. A wave of heat run through your body and you were sure the flush of your cheeks was comparable to a tomato. “Come in.”
Why were you feeling so damn nervous? He was always Jay, he was always your best friend.
But the best friend I love madly, added your conscience.
Maybe you were nervous because you haven't seen him in two weeks, avoiding him like the plague.
You opened the door and moved to the side, giving him space to enter and as he passed the trail of his scent hit you full in the face making you almost faint.
I can’t do this.
Jay sat on the couch without saying anything, glancing at the TV that was still playing the movie, waiting for you to join him.
“You okay?” you asked as your eyes noticed the way his face was screwed up in a less than happy expression. You tried to avoid him yes, for your own good, but the thought something might’ve happened to him was tormenting you. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands against his face in frustration before glancing at you.
“I don’t know to be honest,” he replied, but without elaborating further “What about you? Why did you disappear for the last couple of weeks? I texted you I don't know how many times and called you a thousand times. Did I do something wrong?”.
The crack your heart made was so loud you thought even Jay could hear it from where he sat. Your brain stopped working for a moment trying to think of a response to give him that wasn't ‘you know Jay I was avoiding you because I love you and because I hate seeing you with that snake’.
“N-no, of course not Jay how can you think that?” You replied, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours, instantly feeling a rush of shivers running down your spine. He glanced at your clasped hands and then at you, with an expression you couldn't quite read.
“I… I don't know,” he sighed, his hand caressing the back of your hand, something he didn’t quite realize he was doing “I just… I missed you.”
If your heart was already broken, at this very moment it exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti and colors inside your chest. It was as if you had been punched in the stomach, the breath cut from your lungs. It was so good to hear him say it but so painful at the same time.
You wanted to yell at him to not to say it again, because you knew his ‘I missed you’ wasn't meant in the same way you missed him.
“I missed you too so much Jay,” you almost whispered, smiling at the same time to mask the sudden urge to cry. You let go of his hand, unable to maintain that contact anymore without your stomach doing somersaults. The absence of his warmth was immediately felt but you tried to remain as impassive as possible. “What happened? If you've come here at almost midnight it's because there's something wrong. Do you want to talk to me about it?”.
He nodded feebly, taking his gaze away from you to the ceiling. He was leaning back on the sofa, his head on it as his eyes roamed the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet, his hands folded on his stomach.
“Erin and I broke up.”
You’d imagined anything, a problem at work, maybe a family issue, anything else, but not the words that had just slipped from his mouth.
You couldn't hide the shock as your eyes and mouth opened wide and you even felt guilty for an instant when the only feeling you felt was… Relief, joy. “W-what? How? When? Why?” You bombarded him with questions “I'm sorry Jay,” but you weren't sorry about what had happened. You were sorry because seeing him like that was painful and you would’ve done anything to make him feel better, seeing his beautiful smile on his face.
He brought his eyes from the ceiling to yours, turning his head to the side to look at you. He didn't say anything, he just looked at you. For the second time since he came over, you couldn't read his gaze and you would’ve paid gold to know what he was thinking.
He was looking at you and you felt as if a rope had been placed around your neck and your grip tightened by the way your breath was cut in half. He looked at you with such an intensity as if he wanted to read your soul, analyzing every inch of your face at the same time and in that moment more than ever you wanted to shrink to such a point you’d disappear from his sight.
He looked at you as if he was looking at you for the first time and you felt vulnerable, exposed and while his eyes were chained to yours for an instant you feared he could find out about your feelings for him just by the was his eyes were piercing you.
It was you who looked away first, unable to maintain eye contact anymore and fearing you might say something stupid if you continued to stare at him for another few seconds.
Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would stop any second as you kept repeating yourself to stay calm. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of fading and you thanked God that the lights in the living room were off and that there was only the one on the TV which, however, didn't illuminate quite well your face.
The sigh Jay let out made you look up at him, noticing he was still looking at you. But when your eyes ended up on his again, he was the one to look away.
“Don’t need to be sorry,” he said simply and you nodded though he couldn't even see you, “She left.”
For the second time another wave of shock went through you and a thousand questions crossed your mind. You couldn't say you weren't sorry, you would’ve been hypocritical to say otherwise, but you wondered what the hell had happened. How did they go from being the happiest couple alive to her walking away? For what reason did she leave?
It wouldn't have surprised you at all if she was the reason for the breakup, you didn't know her well – you didn't want to – but based on what Jay told you, she had a habit of running away from every fight and problem that came up.
“She always does, doesn’t she? She will definitely come back,” you answered even as you prayed deep inside with every fiber of your being that it wouldn't happen. You knew you were selfish, he was hurting but damn it, you were human too and you couldn't mask what you didn't feel.
He shook his head slightly. “No, I don't think she will,” He lifted his head, sitting up straight and looking at you again. “And for what that matters, I don't even care if she comes back or not,” he paused again, thinking about his words “But, I don't want to talk about it.”
“Yeah sorry,” there was a moment of silence where you looked at each other again and the way he was looking at you was making your stomach twist like a contortionist “But just tell me how you are you feeling Jay, I hate seeing you like this,” and you were sincere, although you didn't like Erin, you wished nothing but happiness for Jay and seeing him like this made you feel as helpless as few other times.
“I'm fine now,” he replied and he really seemed to be sincere “Really, I feel… Relieved. I just needed to be with my best friend now. You made me worry so much you know that?”.
My best friend.
You tried to ignore the thud in your heart. “I'm really sorry Jay. It was such a hectic time between work I didn't have time for anything else. I'm sorry I wasn't around so much.”
He shook his head again, as if to tell you not to worry by smiling weakly and causing a feeling of warmth to spread through your heart. “What matters to me is that you’re okay I… I really missed you.”
-
The next day you went to work with the dark circles under your eyes reaching down to your feet. You only managed to sleep a couple of hours the night before, having spent most of the night talking to Jay.
God how much you loved that man.
When you were with him it was as if the world around you vanished and it didn't matter how long you lost touch or didn't speak to each other, the moment you’d meet again everything was back to the way it was before, as if time had never passed.
You found yourself talking late, losing track of time, laughing and joking as always and it was times like this that reminded you why you were in love with him. Jay didn't stop smiling even for a minute and seeing him so carefree, even if only for a while, was beautiful. He deserved to be happy, always.
You talked and talked and talked until you fell asleep on the sofa in each other's arms. Only when you opened your eyes you realized your head was resting on his chest and his arm was possessively encircling your waist. You stayed paralyzed for an instant, afraid to make any movement that might wake him up.
He must not have noticed it.
You cautiously sat up and then brought your gaze to him, letting your eyes wander over his relaxed features and you let yourself go for a moment to your fantasy. A fantasy where Jay being there next to you was normal, were you could wake up every morning in his arms as he tightly hugged you.
During your work shift you tried to keep your mind busy, focusing only on the calls and the patients you’d be treating.
Two days flew by like this, with Sylvie doing nothing but tease you about Jay after you told her what had happened. You omitted he and Erin had broken up, this wasn't about you and it wasn't your call to tell other people.
However, you hadn't heard from Jay for two days, he didn't text you or even replied to yours. Only then you understood how he must’ve felt when it was you who didn't reply to his text and you promised yourself you’d never do anything like this again.
You were scared to death because he didn't usually disappear like that, so suddenly, and given the nature of his work you couldn't help but imagine that something terrible had happened and the more time passed, the more this thesis was confirmed.
Of course, you knew he couldn't always answer the phone, and there had been other times when, for example, following an undercover operation you didn't hear from him for even a week but in those cases he did everything to warn you first, reassuring you’d see each other as soon as possible.
This time, however, you had a horrible feeling, a premonition that was sadly confirmed by Voight.
You were packing up the ambulance near the end of your shift when your cell phone rang and Sergeant Voight's name appeared on your screen. Your heart instantly skipped a beat and you instantly understood something serious must’ve happened for him to call you.
“Hello? Sarge?” you answered almost immediately.
“Hi kid,” his hoarse voice replied “I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s about Halstead…”
You closed your eyes as if those words had caused you physical pain, as if someone had hit you in the face. All the colors disappeared from your face and anxiety twisted your stomach.
“What happened? Is he fine? Tell me he's okay please,” you spoke frantically, getting out of the ambulance and closing it “Where is he?”.
You heard Voight sigh on the other end of the phone. “He's fine now, he… He was kidnapped but we found him. We are at Med's. I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”
You couldn't describe the horrible feeling that went through you hearing those words. It was like someone ripped your heart out of your chest clamping your lungs, you stopped breathing for a second and you didn't care how exaggerated that might be, but whatever happened to him you wished it was you on the hospital bed.
“I'll be right there,” you said and closed the call before waiting for Voight’s answer. You didn't even care about warning your boss, much less some of your colleagues watched you ran away like you were nuts, you just wanted to go to him, you just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay.
The car journey to the Med's was one of the most distressing and longest of your life. You nearly collided with other cars several times but at that moment the only thought that crossed your mind was Jay.
What had happened to him? Was it serious? Was he awake?
God please let him be okay.
You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. That wasn't the time to cry, to be weak, you had to be there for Jay.
You thought for a moment what would happen if… God, fuck, you didn't even want to think about it, you couldn't imagine it. You couldn't even think of not having him in your life, you couldn't imagine not being able to see him anymore, getting lost in his eyes, never hearing his laughter or seeing his radiant smile again. You couldn't even think you couldn't hug him when you were sad, stuff yourselves with food watching trash TV until a nervous breakdown.
You didn't even realize you were crying until you got to Med's and parked your car. You quickly dried your tears and ran to the hospital, where, in the waiting room, you found all of his colleagues. And by all of his colleagues, you meant everyone.
Erin Lindsay was there and her disgusted gaze was on you.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed approaching you threateningly. You didn't let yourself be intimidated, on the contrary, the mere tone of her voice made your blood boil in your veins. How dare she talk to you like that?
“Don't you even dare take one more step towards me. Move out to way, I’m here to see Jay,” you spat with venom as the others looked at each other unsure whether to intervene or not.
“Lindsay…” Voight called back, grabbing her arm but she jerked away from his grip, still glaring at you with contempt.
“Turn your ass and get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of you, I'm so tired of always having you around Y/N. Why don't you just understand he doesn't want you?!”.
“You seem to be very familiar with walking away and running away don't you? Isn't that what you always do huh? Avoid problems? You really got some nerve to be here after you left him,” you pointed a finger at her. “I'm not going to stand here and make you yell at me. You really want me to believe you care about him? You wouldn't even be here if he wasn’t kidnapped!”.
“I left him? Is that what he told you?” Erin let out a wry laugh “I can’t believe it. I really wonder what he saw in you. Seriously, look at yourself. You're so pathetic...”
A wave of anger shot through your body and before she could even continue her insults, your fist slammed into her face, causing her to flinch back. Everyone let out a verse of bewilderment, immediately intervening to separate you and Lindsay who were about to kill each other right then and there.
“Y/N! Fuck’s sake! Just calm down! Take it easy, it’s okay,” Kevin dragged you away, shaking you off your shoulders as if to bring you to your senses. You watched her walk away with Voight, one hand on her bleeding nose.
You knew the repercussions there would be but you couldn't care less because it felt so good. You've wanted to do this for so long, for the way she's always treated you, for the contempt she's always shown towards you.
“I'm calm, I'm okay,” you muttered, throwing your hands up in surrender and trying to ignore the pain in the hand you punched her with. “I'm sorry about this but… I have to…”
“I know that's not true,” Kevin chuckled “Go,” he nodded towards Jay's room and without having to repeat it twice you immediately went to him.
You entered the room and closed the door behind you, immediately glancing at the man lying on the bed and the sound of his heartbeats coming from the machine filled the silence.
Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as you saw his battered face, a purple bruise on his cheek, a cut on his eyebrow and and other one on the lower lip which felt deep and quite sore. But despite this he was still the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life.
You approached him, keeping as quiet as possible in an effort not to wake him up. He almost looked like an angel while he slept, as if nothing could hurt or disturb him at that moment.
You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it with such delicacy and lightness you were almost uncertain of the contact. Your fingers ran through his hair, a gesture you knew he loved and made him relaxed.
Your eyes traveled down his chest and only then you noticed the white bandage that wrapped around his chest. You tried to keep from crying. You hated it, you hated he was suffering, you hated you weren't there with him to help him. Your heart was tightened even more as you noticed red marks on his wrists, some superficial and some a little deeper, a sign that he had been tied up.
“What have they done to you?” You whispered and your eyes were on his face again, continuing to run your fingers gently through his hair. “I'm so sorry Jay.”
You didn't know exactly what you were apologizing for, you just did.
You stayed next to him for an indefinite amount of time, you didn't look at the time but you understood that hours had passed when the sunlight was replaced by the darkness of the night.
Will tried to convince you to go home and rest and that he’d call you for any news but you refused, you didn't want Jay to wake up alone in that cold hospital room. You knew how much he loathed them and you wanted him to see a friendly face as soon as he opened his eyes.
The attempt of Jay's team was also useless, when they understood you’d never leave until he woke up, they recommended you to update them on any changes.
You spent hours sitting on a chair next to his bed until you too were asleep, your arms resting on Jay's legs.
When he opened his eyes he found himself plunged into darkness if it hadn't been for the dim light from the hospital chandelier. It didn't take him long to remember what had happened, what had led him to be there. He tried to stand up but an excruciating pain shot through his chest, forcing him to lay down again.
This and also the sleeping figure in front of him.
A small smile was born on his swollen lips as he watched you sleep sitting on the chair that seemed anything but comfortable. How long have you been there?
He raised a hand and didn't even have time to rest it on your arm before you snapped sitting, looking around panicked for a moment. Your eyes widened to see Jay in front of you with his eyes finally open and the joy you felt in that moment was like nothing else you've ever felt.
“Jay! Thank God you're awake!” You exclaimed and in the joy of the moment you hugged him, squeezing him harder than you should’ve and letting a small cry of pain escape him “Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” you pulled away from him “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I call Will?”.
Jay shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “I am fine. Where is the bed remote control? I need to sit up.”
You quickly grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to the bed and handed it to him, watching as the back of the bed lifted and he settled into position so he could finally take a good look at you. “Come here, why are you so far away?” He patted the mattress and you didn't let yourself repeat it twice, sitting next to him.
“Voight called me…” you were the first to speak “But he didn't tell me what happened.”
Jay let out a sigh, flinching as a pain shot through his chest. “It was an undercover mission, nothing too difficult. I was supposed to exchange the money with the drugs and then arrest them. Easy,” he explained, “I don’t know how but someone of them found out I was a cop so they kidnapped me and as you can see they beat me up for the holidays.”
Your eyes filled with tears but that time you couldn't hold them back. You felt a whirlwind of emotions, fear, happiness, anxiety, relief and it was too much for you to hold back and you lowered your gaze to not let him see you.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Jay's voice came as a sweet melody to your ears “Please don't cry Y/N, I don’t like seeing you like this. It's okay now, I'm fine, it's going to take a lot longer for you to get rid of me,” he attempted to reassure you. “Come here darling.” His hands pulled you close as his arms wrapped around you in a warm hug. You hugged him back, being careful not to hurt him further, and let yourself go into a liberating cry, so grateful you still had the opportunity to be able to do this.
His lips kissed your cheek and your heart leapt in your chest at the contact.
God Jay you're killing me.
“I'm so sorry Jay, you shouldn't be the one to comfort me now,” you murmured, pulling away from the hug, still looking down. You grabbed a tissue off the top of the nightstand and wiped away your tears, still shaken from everything that had happened. You felt so selfish at the same time Jay was on a hospital bed and you were the desperate one.
“Y/N don't even say that as a joke. Look at me, please.”
You did as he told you and your eyes met his, triggering a sensation that was like being kicked in the stomach.
“I'm fine, okay? These are just bruises, they hurt but they will go away. I wish I could tell you it's the last time but I can't, it will happen again but I want you to know I’ll always find a way back to you, okay? I won't leave you alone.”
His words were like a snake venom and antidote at the same time.
“Jay… Please…” you whispered, tears still flowing from your eyes “Don't do this to me.”
A confused expression appeared on his face. “What do you mean?”.
You shook your head, as if trying to tell him it didn't mean anything. “I just… I was so scared Jay…I thought about losing you…”
Jay reached for your hand but a frown appeared on his face as he noticed, despite the dim lights, the swelling on it. “Y/N what the hell is this? What happened to you? Why is your hand like this?”.
Shit.
You withdrew your hand, moving your fingers slightly but not showing how sore it was. You had never thrown a punch before and never imagined how painful it was. “Nothing. I closed my hand in the car door on the way here, it's no big deal.”
You knew he’d never buy this excuse but it was worth a try.
“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Tell me the truth. Did someone hurt you?”.
You sighed. “You’ll hate me.”
Jay looked at you like you just sprouted a second head, really confused. “What? Why on earth should I hate you?”.
“I punched Erin,” you blurted out so quickly, wishing he hadn't heard you but when you saw his eyes widen so wide they almost popped out of their socket, you knew he definitely did.
“What? You really did it? Seriously?” He struggled to imagine that you could do something like that, you’d never hurt even a fly. “Why? Why happened?”.
“She started saying bad things to me and I got so mad so I just… Punched her,” you sighed “I didn't even realize it… I know I shouldn't have…”
Jay was silent for a moment, still unable to believe what you had just said. He knew there was bad blood between you and his ex-girlfriend but he never imagined you’d even punch her but he also knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that if you had come this far it was because you had a reason to.
“You hate me now right?”.
He shook his head. “Absolutely not Y/N. I mean, I don't like the idea of you going around punching people but I guess you had your reasons.”
You thought back to Erin's words and that was enough to make you angry again. She deserved it all right and you don't regret it even a bit.
“She's still your ex girlfriend…”
“I know.”
You noticed the way his expression didn't change a bit at the mention of her, he had no reaction. He was more worried about your hand then her. “You don’t care she was here?”.
He remained silent for a moment, observing you for a few moments and then shook his head slightly. “Not one bit, I told I wouldn’t care if she came back. I know it's a bad thing to say, but that's how it is.”
“But you were together until a few days ago how can you not care?” You were so confused.
“I’m the one broke up with her, after all. I think it's normal.”
It wasn’t but still.
It was your turn to widen your eyes and mouth in shock. Did you hear that right?
“What? Really?! I thought she was the one who left you.”
You never expected it, you really thought sue was the one who suddenly left him and not the other way around. You had so many questions to ask him but you didn't know whether to ask him or not, after all it was none of your business.
He nodded. “It wasn't fair to just go on with that relationship, not for me or for her.”
“And why’s that?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. Your eyes were fixed on him and even with that little light they managed to shine and stand out. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought you were having a heart attack at any moment, the air suddenly became tense and every cell in your body seemed to be on fire.
“I…” he spoke “I have someone else in mind.”
Your pounding heart stopped for an instant and the thump in your stomach was such that you felt like you were about to throw up.
“Oh.”
That was all you could say. You tried to keep your expression neutral as if these short simple words hadn't hit you full in the face like a lorry. Being run over would’ve probably hurt less.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks and pressing nails against your palms to avoid crying in front of him again.
You couldn't believe it, or rather, yes, you could believe it but you didn't imagine it would hurt so much. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. It was like Erin all over again.
Oh god no please, I can’t do this.
You wondered who she was. Was she someone you knew? He had never mentioned someone else yet you two talked about everything. Or almost everything.
You looked down rubbing your hands on your pants before standing up and walking over to the nightstand. Jay followed your movements with his eyes, watching you pour water into a glass before drinking it in one gulp.
“Do you want some?” you asked him, but without looking at him and keeping your eyes on the glass
“Yes, thank you,” he replied confused “Y/N… Are you okay?”.
“Sure,” you babbled as you grabbed another glass and poured some water into it. You handed it to him, never meeting his eyes. You couldn't look at him, not at the time. If you had done it you would’ve collapsed and you couldn't in front of him, you didn't want to.
He drank the water and the dryness in his throat finally went away, feeling suddenly better. He continued to look at you, noting how your head was turned towards the window.
“Y/N… Can you look at me please? What’s going on?” he pressed confused on your sudden change of mood.
You turned to him and gave him a quick glance, noticing the empty plastic cup in his hands. “Do you want some more?” You asked feebly as you reached up to him to take your glass but before you could pull away he grabbed your wrists, his grip both firm and delicate at the same time. You jumped, not expecting it, dropping the plastic glass on the floor.
“Look at me,” he urged but you refused, your eyes watering and the lump in your throat increasingly suffocating. A solitary tear slid down your cheek as he placed his thumb and forefinger under your chin, lifting your head and forcing you to look at him.
“Y/N talk to me please,” he whispered and his tone was so soft it was enough to send you over the edge. You lost control and started crying. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body as best as he could.
“No… Just let me go...” you muttered through your tears, trying to escape his grip. You couldn't do this, it was too much for you, too much to bear. You just wanted to run away in that moment, to be away from him.
“Shh, it's okay darling, it's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered in your ear as his hand stroked your back in an attempt to cheer you up. But he couldn't do it.
This was all so paradoxical. He was the only person on earth able to understand you, to make you feel better with a single hug and with the mere presence of him and it was paradoxical because, at the same time, he was also the cause of your suffering.
“N-no Jay…” you stammered, pulling away from his embrace “Please let me go. Don't do this to me. Stop doing this to me...”
You stood up and walked away from him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “I can't take it anymore Jay, I can't do this again.”
“Doing what? Y/N please come here. Talk to me,” he begged you.
Is he serious?
You shook your head and wordlessly walked to the door to leave, but when you heard movement behind you you whirled around to see Jay taking off the covers from his body and climbing out of bed.
“What are you doing? No! Get back to bed,” you ordered, your cheeks still wet with tears, running towards him when his feet hit the ground and tried to get up. He grabbed your wrists again, pulling you towards him and placing you between his legs. “Jay…”
“Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go,” his voice was firm and decisive and his tone hinted he’d live up to his words even if it meant trudging all the way out of the hospital.
“Jay for fuck’s sake why can’t you just understand? You really don't see it? You really can’t see I can’t take all of this anymore? You really can't see how much I fucking love you and how much I care about you! I can't do it anymore Jay, I really tried with Erin… I tried to help you, to be supportive… I tried but I can't take it a second time… I can’t…” You blurted out in the heat of the moment but slapped your mouth with your hands as soon as you realized what you had just said. You wished a hole would open in the ground and the earth would swallow you alive.
Jay was looking at you as if he had just seen a ghost and the silence that had invaded the room was almost deafening. You didn't expect an answer, you knew he wouldn't say anything, but God it was so still painful.
“Y/N… I…” he stammered, speechless.
“Jay… Don't worry, seriously,” you interjected trying to keep your composure even if you were feeling a storm inside “I know you don't feel the same and it's fine, I'm sorry for telling you like this…” you croaked, your voice broken by tears “But now it's better if I go... You need to rest.”
The grip around your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to free yourself away. You took a few steps back, your heart heavy as Jay continued to stare at you petrified.
You were about to leave when, suddenly and against all your expectations, you felt a hand on your arm that made you turn around and a pair of lips pressed against yours.
Your eyes widened in shock as your mind tried to process what was happening. Time seemed to stop and even though his lips were touching yours so lightly it felt like they were just caressing each other, it was as if a storm had hit you full blown.
That kiss was light, sweet, as if he was testing your reaction but when you closed your eyes and returned it, that lightness was immediately replaced by the determination with which his mouth moved against yours.
His hands were on your face as you both let go and for an instant you forgot about everything around you, that you were in a hospital room, that a minute ago you had confessed his love for him. You wanted that kiss for so long. For so long you watched him from a distance and imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours and now that you were really feeling it, god, it felt like heaven.
No image created in your mind could compare to the flock of butterflies flying in your stomach, to the feeling that kiss made you experience.
It was like thunder hit you, like an explosion of rainbows, like being electrocuted, like being burned alive.
You wanted so badly to find the right words to describe what you felt but you just couldn't.
Jay slid his fingers from your cheeks through your hair, deepening the kiss more and more, forgetting the wound on his lip and all the pains that coursed through his body. Your hands clenched the hospital gown he wore into a fist, being careful not to touch him even though your mind was completely racing.
He was kissing you fervently now, passionately, as if his life depended on it, as if he wanted to suck your soul out of your body. And that was exactly how you felt. If you didn't know him better, you would’ve said he was kissing you as if he too had wanted it for a long time, as if he was trying to vent all the frustration that had accumulated over time.
When you pulled away you were both out of breath like after a marathon. His hands stroked your hair before brushing your cheeks as his thumbs traced imaginary circles on your skin. His nose kept brushing yours and you didn't know how you managed to stand, your legs feeling like jelly.
“You didn't ask me who she is,” he whispered and if he wasn't already hurt you probably would’ve punched him. How could he say such a thing? How could he kiss you and then say that?
“Jay what the fuck...” you tried to walk away but he interrupted you.
“Ask me Y/N. Ask me who’s the person I always have in my mind. Who is the woman I left Erin for.” His eyes kept alternating between yours and your lips trembling and flushed and a little swollen from that impetuous kiss.
“Fuck you! No, I don't want to know! How can you say this!”.
“Shh,” he smiled slightly as his thumb traced the outline of your lips. How could he smile in such a situation and be so heartless? “Please Y/N. Trust me. Ask me.”
“You are such an asshole Jay, I can't believe this…”
“It's you,” he cut you off again and you froze, not believing you heard right.
“W-what?”.
“It’s you. You’re the person who’s constantly on my mind, you are the one who invades my thoughts from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. I couldn't continue with her, I tried, I tried to ignore it, but you were always there in front of me, always in my head even when you weren't there,” he confessed “When I realized you were the one I want, that it was you who made my heart beat more than anyone else ever did… Fuck, I can’t even talk with you looking at me like this,” he stopped, pressing his fingers on your skin, as if to vent the built up tension.
“I realized it was you when the thought of losing you terrified more than I could even admit, when seeing her didn’t make me turn my stomach or lose my breath like it happen with you,” he paused, taking a small breath, winching at the pain “I didn't know what to do, how to behave with you, I didn't know if you felt the same and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship and losing you, I preferred a thousand times to have you only as a friend than not to have you at all in life. But, shit, I love you too so much you stupid…” he sighed, his confession heavy in the air and at that point the tears flowed like rivers down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away with his thumbs “It was always you, always and only you and I’m so sorry i realized it so late, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling and made you suffer like that, I will never forgive myself for that. I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see a single tear come out of these beautiful eyes again, okay? I'm yours Y/N, if you want me I'll be forever and irrevocably yours.”
You didn't know what to say.
You didn't know what to do.
You have never been in such a state of total shock like in that moment.
A thousand questions crossed your mind but you couldn't find an answer to any of them.
“Jay,” you exhaled in frustration, still crying “I don't want to suffer, I don't want to go to sleep crying anymore, I'm so tired of this. I can't… I love you, god, how much I love you. You… You make me lose my mind, my heart goes crazy for you but I also know I don't want to suffer and even if I'm in love I don't want to keep my eyes closed and be naive,” you spoke, your eyes locked in his “You just got out of a relationship and I don't want to think I'm a rebound…”
“But you're not baby, I swear you will never be. You are all I want…” he urged “I left her because I want you Y/N.”
“Jay this doubt won’t make me live peacefully. The moment I’ll be in a relationship with you, I want us to start it without interruption, without risks, without fears, without ghosts of the past,” you retorted “You can’t imagine how many times I wished for this to happen, more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want it to be like this, not when you got out of a relationship two days ago.”
“Then I'll prove it to you, I promise Y/N. I want you, only you, forever. I understand you're scared and I promise I'll do anything to make this fear go away, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to give up on you, not now that I know you feel the same. God I'd let you get into my head just to show you how much every single one of my thoughts are directed only and solely towards you.” He pulled your hands away from your cheeks just so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to your lips and kissing both of them, you eyes piercing your soul with their intensity.
“You’ll be mine, that's a promise.”
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katsu28 · 1 year
Note
I have a request!!! I need more Dani fics and if no one else is asking for them then I will be the one to ask everyone 💕 could you maybe write a Dani fic using the Tulip prompt from the flower list? (I think its cute for him, and! tulip!! for!! dani!!)
tulip for sunshine in human form, coming right up!
tulip: an act of affection so blatant everyone notices, dani rojas x reader, 1.1k
You didn’t often find yourself at Nelson Road. You went to Richmond matches and knew Dani's friends, of course, but for the most part you kept your respective work lives pretty separate. Your relationship wasn’t a secret by any means, but the two of you enjoyed having a rather private life together.
Dani had left for early morning training before you’d even woken up, but when you did you saw that he’d left his phone behind on the kitchen counter. Oddly enough, it was sitting right next to a muffin you recognized as being from your favorite bakery down the road and a note in his looping scrawl saying that he hoped you’d enjoy the pastry.
That was typical Dani, never forgetting to make you feel loved but in doing so forgetting something important to him.
After polishing off the delicious treat, you decided that you were going to return the surprise by bringing his phone down to the training facility. He’d surely be able to survive a day without it, but the muffin had you feeling sentimental.
Now you were here, making your way down the corridor towards the locker room to find Dani.
“Oh my god. Oh my god, you’re here!” Keeley’s unmistakable voice rang out from a little ways away and you turned to see her hurrying full speed at you in dangerously high heeled boots, grinning profusely the whole way. For such a small woman, she nearly bowled you over with the force of her hug.
“Hi Keeley!” You chuckled, returning her embrace with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. Out of everyone at Richmond, Keeley was the one you were closest with. Besides Dani, of course.
“Hold on. What are you doing here? Is the world as we know it ending—god, is someone dead?” She gasped, eyes widening.
You rolled your eyes playfully, “That’s rather dramatic, don’t you think? Everything’s fine, Dani just forgot his phone at home.”
“Oh, he is gonna be so excited to see you, babe!” She squealed, giving you another quick squeeze. “Right, well I have a brand meeting to get to, but text me later, yeah? We need to get dinner soon!”
You barely had time to say yes before she was running off. Ever the energizer bunny, Keeley was.
Loud laughter poured out of the locker room at the other end, letting you know the lads were in there even before you rounded the corner.
Jamie was sitting right opposite the open door so he saw you first, winking at you in his usual playful manner before speaking loudly. “Well, well, well—look what the cat dragged in!”
Dani lit up the second he heard your name echo through the rest of the team, abandoning doing up the laces on his boots in favor of beelining straight for you. “Mi amor! What are you doing here?”
“Figured you might need this.” You procured his phone from your bag, holding it up with a small smile at his excitement.
He beamed pure sunshine at you, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around in a bone crushing hug. It seemed a little too eager for such a small action, even for Dani, but you were pleasantly surprised. Paired with the content sigh he let out, he’d even garnered the attention of the coaches too.
Nate waved at you on his way out of the office, Beard just nodded, and Roy grunted his greeting, but Ted grinned, looking ecstatic.
“Y/N! To what do we owe this fine pleasure?” He drawled, propping his hands on his hips. He gasped before you could answer. “Wait no, don’t tell me! You won the lottery? You went to see a fortune teller and they told you to come here for some cosmic unknown reason? Oh! You found out your visa was about to expire and came to ask one of us to be in a fake marriage with you so you wouldn’t be sent away?”
“I think that last one’s the plot to The Proposal, actually.” Nate chimed in, looking equal parts amused and concerned.
“Brilliant movie though.” Roy said gruffly, drawing murmurs of approval from the room.
“I came to bring Dani his phone,” You chuckled, finally able to pass off the phone to him now that he’d set you down on your feet.
“Isn’t she the nicest, most perfect girlfriend in the whole world?” Dani exclaimed, squeezing you around the waist again. He was still beaming ear to ear, an infectious sort of excitement that had always been one of things you loved most about him. You took the chance to press a quick kiss to his cheek.
“She is quite the catch, Dani.” Ted agreed, smiling good-naturedly.
You ducked your head bashfully, leaning into Dani’s side to hide your warm cheeks. “I should go. Let you boys get back to training.”
“Coach, can I walk her to her car?” Dani asked hopefully, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
“Would be a real shame if you didn’t, son. We’ll be on the pitch when you’re all finished up.” He replied. He turned to you right after, giving you a nod. “And you, don’t be a stranger around these parts! It’s nice to see a new face every once in a while.”
After assuring Ted you'd be back sometime soon, Dani threaded his fingers through yours, giving you a grand tour of the facility (and happily introducing you to every person you passed, no less) on your way back out to the car park.
“Thank you for coming!” He was still smiling brightly at you, so big that his eyes crinkled at the corners.
“You don’t have to thank me all the time, love. It was nothing, I wanted to visit you.” You insisted, sliding a hand around the back of Dani’s neck. You weren’t expecting his expression to fall, and when it did you were quick to cup his cheek. “What’s wrong?”
“I want to thank you. I appreciate you coming all the way down here for me, and I want to show it.”
You hadn’t thought of it that way before. It was Dani’s way of saying I love you, even though he said that plenty too. His love language wasn’t limited to just one, you realized too. Any way he could show you how he felt about you, how much he appreciated you, he did.
That was just who Dani Rojas was—happy and sweet and caring and a million other things you had yet to learn about him. You were excited to find out.
You kissed him soft and sweet, threading your fingers through his hair to bring him closer to you still. Thank you. I love you too.
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zweiginator · 1 month
Note
oh oh oh thinking about patrick kinda getting a bit distant from innocent! reader after the little confrontation with art. both mad at what happened and the fact she slept with him. plus he is trying to ignore the lingering horniness he feels from it. he thinks about what art said. maybe he does suck.
r notices and is upset. patrick is her closest friend and now he’s acting all weird…she doesn’t know who else to talk to. so she tells art one day. she may be naive but she isn’t stupid, so when she sees that little look of knowing something in his eyes.
she presses until he says and then shes mad at both of them. confrontation? punching? but she hates what art said to patrick and she loves art but she also loves patrick and all she wants to do is make patrick feel better
patrick doesn’t know what to do. he didn’t expect art’s words to cut so deep. to feel as if maybe he did cross a line with his best friend. who does that? using your naivety and innocence to get off, to take possession of you.
art, even with his cruel words, is more boyfriend material, patrick thinks. he was quick to stand up for you. he seems like the kind of guy to buy you flowers and tuck your hair behind your ear to kiss your cheek. he’s sweet and selfless and a little bit fueled by sexual needs which isn’t something patrick of all people could fault him for.
patrick takes a step back from you for awhile. you call him a few times during the weekend but he doesn’t answer and his voicemail is full with your musings. your questioning. why aren’t you answering me? are you okay? patrick listens to them all and he fucking hates that he can hear your sniffles, you wiping your tears with the back of your hand.
he expects you to yo-yo back to art for comfort. to go to him and forget about patrick—it would be what’s best for you anyway.
you do call art, who quickly comes over when he hears the shakiness in your voice.
“is everything okay?”
“i hate to —i hate to bring this up to you but i need to talk to someone about it.”
art sucks his teeth. “patrick?”
you’re confused how he knows that so quickly. in your mind, art thought that you and patrick had stopped speaking. and yes, it’s awful and selfish but you were set on telling art now that maybe you had fibbed. maybe you were still seeing patrick but what were you supposed to do? he’s your best friend.
but it’s clear that art knows something.
“how do you know that?”
art stutters. “i just figured with you saying you hate to bring it up—i don’t know, call it an educated guess.”
but you see a glint in his eyes. a flash of discomfort and panic.
“what do you know? what aren’t you telling me?” you sniffle.
“we—“
you raise your eyebrows, growing impatient as he pauses. “just tell me!”
“we had a confrontation.—“ art shoves his hands in his back pockets. “patrick texted me from your phone last week. asked to meet up, so i did, thinking it was you. he showed up and we argued a little and he punched me.”
“he punched you?” you see the small bruise on his jaw. the one he said was from being pummeled with a tennis ball at practice.
“what did you say?”
“are you blaming this on me?” art looks offended.
“no — i’m just asking. i’m allowed to be concerned about this.”
“i said he’s a fucking creep. using you and manipulating you because he’s horny—he’s a piece of shit.”
but you shake your head fervently. “no. no he’s not. he’s my best friend—“
“so you don’t care that he fucking punched me?”
“i am—im mad at both of you—“
“you’ve been stringing us both along so i’m not sure you can sit here and act all innocent like you usually do.”
more tears well in your already bloodshot eyes.
“i’m—i don’t know what to say.”
art rolls his eyes and leaves, slamming the door.
you love them both. you miss them both. you want them both. and both of them hate you now.
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Text
School of Mysteries : Chapter 9
Word Count : 1.4k
Warnings : swearing, smut (blow job), mention of sex, mention of stabbing, mention of drowning, mention of poisoning, drinking, clubbing, being drugged, mentions of feeling unsafe, murder
            Her memory comes in flashes. Flashes of laughter and dancing. Surrounded by her closest friends and her newest friend. It hurts to try and remember everything but she tries her best, holding her head in her hands. The detectives were sat across from her, watching in confusion.
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            Mae and Kayla disappeared with Yeonjun leaving Y/n alone with Jisung. She was sat at the bar with Jisung standing behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder. He kept making jokes in her ear, causing her to giggle and lean back into him. “I’m going to run to the washroom real quick. Stay right here. I’ll be right back.” Y/n nodded and Jisung kissed her cheek before leaving in the direction of the washroom.
            That’s when Mingi would make his move, performing his usual clumsy boy bit. She was facing the direction Jisung walked away in, waiting for his return. Mingi approached, pretending to trip over his own two feet, an arm wrapping around her while the free hand slipped something in her drink while she wasn’t looking. “My, my. You saved my life.” He smiled. “I’m Mingi.” He held a hand out as he introduced himself.
            He seemed normal enough so she slid her hand into his. “I’m Y/n.”
            “What a fitting name for an angel.” He replied. She shook her head as she laughed at the lame line, yet she still didn’t tell him to leave. He intrigued her. She finished her drink and ordered another one. But as she took a sip of her new drink, she started feeling woozy. The world was spinning and she could barely keep her eyes open. “Jeez. Looks like you had a little too much. Let me take you home.” She could see the sinister look in his eyes and she put two and two together.
            “No. I have to get my friends.” She tried to stand from the stool but fell to the floor. Mingi helped her up, holding tightly onto her.
            “We can text them later. Let’s just get you home.” She kept shaking her head, trying her best to push him away from her, but there was no use. He was stronger than her. He got her outside and she tried getting help from strangers on the street. “I’m sorry. My girlfriend had a little too much to celebrate our anniversary.” He chuckled.
            “No. I don’t know him.” She cried. But it fell on deaf ears as everyone passed by, allowing Mingi to get her into a taxi and take her home.
            “He drugged me.” She said with quivering lips and tears in her eyes. She couldn’t even meet the detectives eyes, staring at the metal table, her head still in her hands. “As soon as I was alone, he approached me and he drugged me.” The detectives exchanged looks.
            “So you killed him in revenge?” The younger one asked. For the first time since they brought her in, she looked up, shaking her head, repeating the word no over and over. He reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. “Hey, it’s okay.” His voice was soft and comforting.
            “Did he take advantage of you?” The older detective asked. She shook her head again, looking down at the table again as the memories continued to flash in her mind.
            “My friends came just in time. I was naked and he was on top of me, but they stopped him. Chased him out.” If you know what’s good for you, you’ll turn yourself in. She remembers Kayla saying, but she kept that to herself. She didn’t want the detectives thinking one of her best friends could ever hurt someone like this.
            “That’s good then.” He grumbled before standing up. “Take a few days off of school and rest up.” He left, the younger detective close behind. She took that as her cue to leave, sitting at the same desk as last time as she waited for the other four to be finished with their interviews.
~
            The three of them were in the bathroom, unable to keep their hands to themselves anymore. Yeonjun was surprised when they asked him to join, but there was no way he was going to say no. It turned him on watching the way Kayla took control of Mae. He could barely keep it together. “Bunny, on your knees now.” Kayla demanded and Mae obeyed immediately. “Remember, she’s my girl. But I know she’s been needing some good dick lately. So I thought I’d treat her.” Yeonjun nodded almost dumbly. “Pull your pants down. Let her suck you off.”
            “Kiss him mommy. I want to watch you two make out.” Mae said. Kayla smiled and brushed Mae’s hair out of her face, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips.
            “Be a good girl and I’ll give you what you want.” Mae nodded. “Grip her hair. Set the pace for her.” Yeonjun gathered Mae’s hair in his hand and began fucking her throat while Kayla watched. As Mae’s eyes filled with tears, Kayla pressed her lips to Yeonjun’s. Mae moaned as she watched, causing Yeonjun to moan into the kiss. He pulled away for a second.
            “Fuck. Do that again.” Kayla grabbed the back of his neck, bringing him in for another kiss which made Mae moan again. He knew he was close, his cock twitching in her mouth, his thrusts were getting sloppy. “Fuck I’m going to cum.”
            “Cum in her mouth. She’ll swallow it.” Kayla smirked. He nodded and continued fucking her mouth. His head fell back as he came, Mae swallowing it all just as Kayla said. “Good girl. I think you deserve a reward bunny.” Before they could continue though, they checked their phones that seemed to non stop buzz with notifications.
            “Fuck we have to go.” Mae said, standing from the bathroom floor. Yeonjun pulled up his pants, asking if everything was okay. But they just said they’ll explain later, but he could come if he wanted.
            “We disappeared to hook up. But we stopped when we got Jisung’s texts and immediately went to get Y/n.” Mae explained. “And no we didn’t kill him. We finished what we started. Here’s the proof.” She slid her phone across the table. The detective didn’t bother pressing play this time, just nodding and accepting her alibi.
            “You’re free to go.” She sarcastically smiled, grabbed her phone, and left the room. The others were already out, surrounding Y/n who seemed to fold in on herself. She was in Jisung’s arms, her head on his chest as he rubbed her back.
            “Baby.” Mae said softly. Y/n looked up at her. “You’re okay. You’re safe now.” Y/n nodded.
            “Let’s go home. Have a movie night, yeah?” Kayla offered. “Jisung and Yeonjun can come too.” Jisung looked down at Y/n who was already looking up at him. He brushed some hair out of her face.
            “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again.” He told her. She nodded and stood up from the chair. The five of them left the station, Y/n still in Jisung’s arms, only feeling safe if someone was holding her.
            “You have your thinking face on.” The younger detective pointed out. The older detective was still watching them leave, his brows furrowed together.
            “What did you think of Jisung’s alibis?” He asked. The younger detective looked over his notes, reading over Jisung’s alibis for the time of each of the murders. Playing video games with Felix and then sleeping. Confirmed by Felix who’s alibi was confirmed by Y/n. Was supposed to meet with Felix at the pool but slept in. Confirmed by texts on Felix’s phone, which was also confirmed by Y/n’s story. And now sleeping in the living room so Y/n would feel safer. But no one mentioned him staying the night.
            “Felix was his alibi and it was always confirmed by Y/n.”
            “And now that Felix is dead, his alibi isn’t confirmed. Smells like a cover up to me.”
            “I don’t know. Stabbing, drowning, and now a poisoning. Maybe it’s three different killers. Felix killed Hyunjin. Someone else killed Felix. And then another person killed Mingi.” He said as he looked over the notes. None of the murders seemed to link together besides Y/n being at the center of all three.
            “What do you think is more likely; a serial killer with an obsession with Y/n, or three killers?” The older detective asked. “We have a serial on our hands and his name is Han Jisung. And I’ll prove it.”
back to masterlist
@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @junebug032 @goblinracha @stvpidlove @yeosangsbbg @lavishloving @puppy-minnie @salfetkablog @surefornext @jan-l @the-anarchist-public @jiisungllvr @turtledove824 @jiyeons-closet @minhozskz @jxp1-t3r @lookitsjess @mutlishipperfangirl @cutesince2000 @conwunder @skzstay @borahae-reads @shakalakaboomboo @soupbinlily @kalopsian-thoughts
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edenfenixblogs · 7 months
Text
Spent the day with a friend and it was so fun. If every day could be like today, I’d stay where I currently live.
But even we very carefully avoided discussing המצב so it was still like we were living in different worlds.
The closest I got to bringing it up was when she complimented the Drawfee posters on my wall and I was like, “Thanks, I’m looking to replace them though.” It was a belated bday celebration for her from when I was out of town and had to miss her initial celebration. I didn’t want to be a downer, so I avoided bringing it up as much as possible and I def didn’t tell her I’m moving within the year.
She will easily be the person I’ll miss most here. She’s been the only person I can text about antisemitism any time, but I think even she may have muted me on here. Which I understand. But the people back home haven’t muted me. And I don’t have to pretend to be ok around them.
And ultimately, I’m living half a life here because I don’t want to beg people to care about me. And if my suffering is so great that they have to look away, then it should also be enough for them to check on me about proactively.
Hanging out with a friend and not talking about everything was so nice it was like breathing fresh air after being stuck in a musty cave. But she went home and I feel like I’m suffocating again.
It’s so overwhelming. The isolation is so impossibly overwhelming I cannot even begin to explain it to people who aren’t going thru it.
It’s the kind of thing that would make me ask myself, “Is it me?! Is it just that I’m bad to be around and that nobody likes me?” Except I know it’s not, because a whole group of people back home—both related to me and not related to me—do actually get it and check in on me. When the chips are down, I know they have my back more than anyone else. And so for me and for the future I’m building, I have to go back.
It’s such a brutal blow. But this friend? I will miss her more than anyone else in this whole state and I hope she doesn’t fall out of touch with me. So many emotions, dudes. It’s all so much. I keep wanting to actively unpack the trauma of it all but I can’t because it’s still happening.
One positive thing that comes from all this is that can move up my timeline of when I start trying to get pregnant, which is awesome. I’m ready for that part of my life. Even though I’m sure maternity leave in my new state will suck worse than it would here, financially and time wise. But at least I’ll have a lot of familial support when I’m back home, which I wouldn’t have here.
Now I just gotta pray I’m actually able to get home and that I’m actually able to get pregnant. 😬😬😬😬
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plzfeedmebread · 2 years
Text
The Lie of Providence - Chapter 2 - Memories Glazed in Sunlight
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word count: 1906
Pairing: Recom Miles Quaritch x Female! Sully! Na'vi Reader Tags/Warnings: family bonding Author's Note: Slightly longer chapter! Posts still not showing up in tags TwT Oh well, I'll still keep posting in the hopes it fixes itself! Just a reminder this is in fact a slow burn, so I would like to do a bit of world building. Help establish your place amongst the family and clan.
"blue text" is spoken Na'vi. 'Italics' are inner thoughts.
<previous chapter> | 2 | <next chapter>
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
It is when you reach the age of 12 that you decide these dreams are Eywa’s doing. They visit you in an unpredictable frequency. Whether he is a memory of a man long since passed, or a figment of your imagination given life through dreamscape; you are unsure, but don’t think too much of it. After all they are merely dreams, they cannot hurt you, right?
The man doesn’t say much. More often than not you two didn’t interact at all. If he sees you, he simply huffs in annoyance and ignores you. As such you simply observed him from a distance, hidden behind something or rather, as he performed whatever bizarre Human ritual he felt necessary.
Sometimes you go months without seeing him. But it’s happened often enough now you find your mind drifts to him.
You’re at the Tree of Souls with your grandmother, Mo’at, repeating after her as she leads you through a prayer to Eywa, when a thought suddenly hits you; ‘what if he was a human soul, and the Great Mother claimed him as her own?’ You stop in wonder at the thought. Would such a thing even be possible? Even after everything that they’ve done to your clan, would she still find place for them in Her Embrace? Maybe. There were plenty of Sky People who were good. They respected the All-Mother and all her children.
Spider was one of them – the strange boy that he is. You don’t know of any other human children on Pandora, and you think he must be the first to be born here. He’s only 7, the same age as your younger brother Lo’ak and sister Kiri, but by Eywa is he just as rambunctious. You love seeing him play with them and Neteyam too. Tuk is a bit too young, still a baby that one. But you have no doubt in your mind she’ll enjoy his company just as much.
Out of all your siblings though, you’re sure he’s closest to you. As the eldest, you naturally fell into the role of protector. And as far as you’re concerned, he’s just another part of the family, another little brother to watch over and love.
“[Y/N]?”
Your thoughts are interrupted by your grandmother calling your name. You realise you had stopped praying as your mind started to wonder.
“Yes, grandmother?”
“Tell me child, what is on your mind? You are distracted.” She asks you as she brushes some hair from your face. You smile at the gesture.
“Nothing is the matter, sorry grandmother. I was just thinking of my brothers and sisters.” She hums thoughtfully and pulls her hand back.
“You may go to them then. There will be plenty of time to give thanks to the All-Mother. But your brothers and sister won’t always be so young. Go and enjoy them.” You grin at the declaration and hug her quickly before immediately sprinting to find your little band of siblings. She smiles at the sight of you running carefree through the forest.
You have a pretty good idea where you might find them. There are a few rivers nearby that you all love splashing in. Sometimes Father will join, chasing all of you through the shallows and splashing all of you wildly. You love that game.
You make your way to the first river but do not see your siblings. You do find a few adults fishing though. You recognise one of them as Saeyla, a great warrior and friend to both your parents.
“Ah! Young [Y/N]! What brings you here? Here to help us fish, are you?” She beams a wild smile at you. You see a young initiate beside her. She must be showing him the best places to fish, and when to appropriately use a bow or spear.
“Hello Saeyla! No not right now. I’m looking for my brothers and sisters, have you seen them?” She nods and points to her left. You thank her and run off in that direction, bidding goodbye to everyone.
Once you’re out of earshot the young man chuffs to himself and mumbles,
“She still looks like a freak even after all this time.” Saeyla flicks him right in the forehead.
“Watch your tongue! In case you have forgotten, that is Toruk Makto’s daughter. Our Olo'eyktan’s daughter. Show some respect. It is by Eywa’s will that she is here. Or are you going to question the wisdom of our Great Mother?” She fixes him with a stare, challenging him. He stiffens at her look.
“Sorry Saeyla. I—I didn’t mean—” He stumbles to find the right words but she waves him off with a click of her tongue.
“Let us continue and pretend you said nothing.” He nods at her words.
---
Your siblings are exactly where Saeyla said they’d be. All happily splashing in the water; not a care in the world. You smile and sit on a nearby tree root, a bit out of their line of sight. Content to simply watch them. You’re happy to see little Spider here too. You giggle to yourself as you watch him playfully dive atop the pile of Kiri and Lo’ak, Neteyam off to the side pulling on someone’s tail.
As you watch them, you admire the gold of Spider’s locks, not too dissimilar to your own. The play with the threaded gold of your hair idly between fingers, reminiscing on the firs time you had met the boy.
You had begged and pleaded with Father to teach you the language of the Sky People. Reluctant at first, he figured it would probably be in your best interest to learn it in the end, considering there were plenty of Humans and Avatars left behind on Pandora. And to be fair not everyone had learnt the Na’vi language. He figures you being at the young age of 8, it’s probably easier for their language to make a lasting impression than adults learning Na’vi.
He relents and takes you to see Norm, though bi-lingual now himself, he’s not entirely sure how to go about actually teaching you the language. Figured Norm, the science-head that he is, would have an easier time. You like Uncle Norm anyway. He tells you lost of fascinating stories about Sky People and the planet they came from. Especially when Father is reluctant to share. You also find it very funny when he switches to his Sky People body; he’s so short compared to when he’s a Dreamwalker.
So there you are, at Hell’s Gate with your Father. Mother stayed behind in the forest, content to watch over Neteyam, Lo’ak and Kiri.
Father and Uncle Norm are discussing something, you’re not paying attention to their words. Instead you busy yourself looking at the pretty pictures in a book on a desk nearby. You pay no mind to the idle sounds of the other scientists nearby as the work.
However, your attention is suddenly pulled by the pitter patter sound of hastily running feet and someone yelling “Spider get back here!”
Before you can turn around, something solid collides with your legs, causing you to drop the book as you fall to the floor, the solid thing landing on your legs.
“[Y/N]!” Your father is immediately by your side, gently picking you up as he puts you back on your feet carefully.
“I’m okay Dad,” you assure him. Didn’t even hurt. You look over and find Uncle Norm similarly lifting up someone. The someone that collided with you. It’s a child. A Human child.
“Spider you gotta be careful, you can’t just run into people like that. Now say sorry to [Y/N].” Uncle Norm chastises the child, Spider.
“Sowwy, I ram into yoo.” He says, his pronunciation a little off, but you understood him.
“Oh, I guess this is the first time the two of you have ever seen each other. [Y/N], this is Spider. Spider, this is [Y/N]. She’s my daughter. Say hello, [Y/N].” It is your Father that does the introductions.
“Hello! My name is [Y/N]! It’s nice to meet you Spider!” You beam at him. You didn’t expect him to speak Na’vi. Uncle Norm must be teaching him. You think hard and remember the Sky People greeting Uncle Norm showed you. Ah, right! A handshake! You stick out your hand confidently.
Spider looks at your hand as if unsure what to do. He looks back up to your face with a slight tilt to his head, a questioning look adorns his cute little face.
You giggle at his expression. Instead, you gesture with the traditional Oel ngati kameie hand motion. Spider smiles and copies you, even if the way he swings his arm is a bit off. You admire his hair. It is wild and golden like yours, though yours is a tad lighter.
“I like your hair.”
“Fanks. I like yor eyes. They pretty like strawberries.” You’re not sure what that last thing is. But that sounded like a nice thing so you say thank you.
It is from this tiny interaction that Spider becomes enraptured by you and your family. He’s seen Norm’s avatar, and the ones that walk around Hell’s Gate. But you? You and your father are different. You live in the Forest. And Spider LOVES the forest. He wishes Norm would let him run around outside and explore. “Maybe when you’re older,” he kept telling him.
And so begins months of learning the Sky People language from Uncle Norm and Father, while Spider is taught Na’vi by the two older males in tandem. Every chance you get, the two of you practice with each other. You speak English to him, and he Na’vi to you. It is a fun game.
It’s been about 4 years since then, now you’re both reasonably fluent in either language. Spider though seems much more content to speak Na’vi and that’s fine by you. Your siblings were eventually also taught the Sky People’s language to make communication between Humans, Dreamwalkers and Clan easier.
You continue to quietly watch your siblings play. And yes, you definitely consider Spider a younger brother. You don’t care that he is Human. Why should that matter? After all, your Dad used to be human. And even now, you understand that his body is that of a Dreamwalker.
A gentle breeze carries the laughter of your siblings to you. Their song dances around you, and you close your eyes and smile at the feeling. You could almost feel the Great Mother in the shades of the trees; sheltering you from the harshness of direct sunlight. Though you enjoy the kiss of sunlight as it seeps through the gaps between leaves, leaving warm and soft patterns across your skin.
Deciding you’ve had enough of watching and want to play in the water too, you sit up from your tree spot and make your way over to everyone else.
Spider is the first to notice your approach; thought it surely isn’t hard to miss your alabaster form against the greens of the forest.
“[Y/N]!!!” He yells excitedly and rushes to meet you part way into the water. Everyone else yells your name in greeting and follow him.
“Hello everyone!” You greet back and are soon tackled to the ground by a horde of toddlers. You giggle at their antics. Soon you all resume what ever game it is they were playing, lots of splashes and lots of laughter.
You couldn’t be happier.
---
<previous chapter> | 2 | <next chapter>
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nycbaby21 · 1 year
Text
Imaginary Girlfriend
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prompt: the guys tease Mason about his girlfriend, that they don't think exists
word count: 2,972
“Okay, that sounds good baby. See you tonight. I love you,” Mason said into the phone before turning off his car and heading into the rink for practice. “Baby and I love you. Don’t tell me you have a little girlfriend, Mase,” Trevor teases him walking beside him. Jamie is slightly behind the two rolling his eyes. “Not that it concerns you in the slightest, yes I have a girlfriend,” Mason said getting ready to hit the ice for practice. 
Mason and I had been dating for a little over eight months now. We met when he walked in and dumped his coffee all over my white shirt. He quickly stripped his sweatshirt and passed it over to me. He was so cute blushing and stumbling over his words, so when I had to leave I gave him my number to return the sweatshirt. After texting for a week trying to figure out a time that worked with both of our schedules, we met and really hit it off. He was the sweetest guy I had ever met.
My last relationship was terrible. He cheated on me for seven of the eight months we were together. To add salt to the wound, the girl he cheated on me with was my best friend and bandmate at the time. Our group went from five to four when everything came out. I never liked the term famous or celebrity because I didn’t feel like that. I just sang with some of my closest friends and people happened to really like us. Due to my past and the fact my last relationship was so public, Mason and I decided to keep it to ourselves for the time being. 
“So who is the lucky girl who stole our boy’s heart,” Trevor continued his teasing. Mason looked over to Jamie for help, but the older Canadian couldn’t help but also be curious about the girl. He rolled his eyes,” we have been together for about four months. She’s beautiful, smart, hilarious, and the kindest person I have ever met.” Mason smiled talking all about our relationship. “Who is,” Troy asked sitting down near the younger guys lacing up his skates. 
“Mase was just telling us about his girlfriend,” Jamie responded before Trevor could tease their friend again. “Girlfriend? If you have a girlfriend why do you still look terrible when you show up for games,” Cam asks elbowing him. “Haha. You guys are hilarious. Seriously why aren’t you comedians,” he mumbles standing up and walking out of the locker room and onto the ice. The whole entire practice the guys chirped the younger center. He was starting to get annoyed.
Mason was never one to brag about anything. Never about his hockey skills, his awards and accomplishments, or who he was dating. He said he was the luckiest guy in the world to even have a chance with me. I argued with him constantly that I was the lucky one. After being treated the way I was, I was sure I would never find someone who only wanted me. But Mason made me feel like the only person in the world.
“So what does this so-called girlfriend of yours look like,” Z asks throwing an arm around his shoulder when they walked out of the Honda Center. He pushed his friend off and shrugged. “She’s really pretty, she has the sweetest smile and the kindest eyes,” he says proudly. “Geez what romcom did you steal that shit from,” Trevor jokes laughter spreading through the parking lot. “Ignore him Mac, we all do. What is her name,” Troy asked trying to find out more because he knew Dani would have so many questions. The Terry family has become very close to the younger player and Dani has tried to set him up a couple times.
“Her name is Y/n,” Mason says throwing his stuff in the trunk trying to get home and shower before I got there. He always tried to have everything done before we hung out so we could spend all the time together. With our busy careers and traveling it was hard to see each other. We had been on more FaceTime dates than real ones. “Does she not have a last name? Is she like Cher or Madonna,” Cam asks leaning against Trevor’s Bronco which was parked next to his car. “Of course she does. Look as much fun as this is playing 150 questions I need to go. I already don’t see her enough as it is and I’m not wasting any more time with you idiots,” he says getting in the car and driving to his place.
After showering and making the living room more comfortable, the doorbell rang. Mason all but ran to the door. He picked me up and spun me around. My laughter filled the hallway and probably annoyed some of the neighbors. “And here I was worried you didn’t miss me,” I joke placing a quick kiss on his lips when he set me back down. I pull back and go to walk into the apartment but he pulls me back in. His hands quickly find their place on my hips while mine go to his neck playing with the tiny curls. His hands wander down closer and closer to my ass and I pull away laughing. “Mase, as much as I would to continue this let’s go inside,” I smile leading the boy in.
After closing the door his lips are back on mine. This kiss was short and sweet. “You done,” I tease rasing an eyebrow. He leans down one more time and then says,” I am now.” We settled on the couch and dug into to the food I brought over. “How was practice today,” I ask nuzzling deeper into his side. “It was good, fine. So tell me all about the tour,” he changed the subject so I knew something was going on. I sat up and turned to face him. “You okay baby,” I look at him waiting for an answer. “Yeah. It's just the guys are giving me shit about you. I didn’t tell them who you were, so they think I made you up. I can’t tell you how many I have a girlfriend she just goes to different schools jokes,” he lets it all out. Something he found himself doing very easily now.
“Oh, Mase. I am so sorry. This is all my fault,” I say putting my hands on his face. “Hey no it’s not baby okay? Trevor and Jamie can’t even get girlfriends. Troy and Cam actually have wives, but they just don’t understand our situation,” he says wiping the tears that fell, no matter how hard I tried to hold them in. “It’s not fair to you,” I whisper crying more and more. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “Hey Y/n, look at me okay,” he says and I finally look up at him. “There’s my pretty girl,” he smiles,” if it meant I got to love you I would listen to Trevor go on and on for a thousand years no stop. So don’t be sorry about this. I agreed to keep it quiet too,” his words about his teammate made me laugh.
Mason and I fell asleep on the couch that night, all snuggled up to each other. We both woke up with terrible back pain and he had a small creek in his neck. We spent the whole morning glued to each other’s sides. “I should get going,” I sigh leaning my back against his chest while washing the dishes. “No you don’t,” he says into my neck, his facial hair tickling me. “Mase, I know. I wanna stay but I have no clothes to wear,” I say drying the last plate and turning around facing him. “I mean do you really need clothes,” he says and I swat his chest. He laughs and hugs me tighter.
“I haven’t seen Binx in two months. He probably thinks I abandoned him,” I say thinking of the small black cat I had waiting for me at home. My roommate was taking care of him while we were on tour. “Okay I guess I can share you,” he sighs giving me one last kiss and watching me get into my car and drive off. About an hour later he hears a knock on the door. He opens it to find Trevor, Jamie, and Max standing at his front door. He groans and walks back inside, letting the guys come in on their own. “What’s wrong Mase? Did you spend the night with your girlfriend,” Trevor uses air quotes around the last word of his sentence. “Z leave him alone. Mason please for the love of everything just show him a picture of you two.” Jamie says wanting Trevor to shut up.
“I can’t. We don’t really have any pictures together,” Mason says his face flashing red. “Okay c’mon. You expect me not to chirp him now,” Trev says receiving a small smack to the chest from Max. “Mason, you don’t have any pictures with your girlfriend of eight months, you won’t tell us her last name, and gave us actually no physical description of her. You gotta see where Tweedledumb is coming from,” Jamie says. “I don’t owe you guys anything okay? So just drop it or leave,” he finally snaps sick of being the butt of the joke.
The guys shut up and spent the rest of the day playing video games and goofing off. “Oh, Dani asked me to pass on a message. She wanted you to invite Y/n to the team barbeque at their house on Friday,” Jamie says to Mason as the three guys are leaving. Mason rolls his eyes. “I’m not teasing you Mase okay? If you say you have a girlfriend I believe you,” Jamie says giving his shoulder a squeeze as he walks out. The rest of the night Mason thought about how he wished we could go to the party together.
Thursday came faster than he wanted it to. “Okay, so McTavish you are still bringing drinks tomorrow right,” Troy asks trying to help Dani plan the party. “Yep,” the younger boy responds. “You okay dude,” Troy asks sitting down and patting the spot next to him. “It’s just I really wanted Y/n to come tomorrow. I’m so sick of the guys giving me a hard time. But she has some work thing and her boss told her if she didn’t show up she would be fired. And her job is everything to her so obviously she isn’t coming. I may have overreacted and started a fight with her last night,” Mason explained to his older teammate.
“I just don’t see why you can’t show up for an hour. They won’t tell anyone I swear,” Mason says raising his voice slightly due to his frustration. “Mason you know I can’t miss this event. It’s Good Morning America. It’s not like I’m saying no for a nail appointment. It’s my job,” I sigh tired of having to explain myself again. “Are you embarrassed of me,” his voice cracks. I turn and see tears filling up his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about,” I asked walking closer to him trying to grab his hand. He stepped away from me. My heart broke a little when he did this.
“I mean I’m not some hot rich douchebag actor, which means your management doesn’t want you to be seen with me,” his feelings were hurt when I mentioned management advised me to keep my relationship a secret. They wanted to play the heartbroken angsty idea for better sales. “That is not my fault,” I yell back at him hurt that he brought up my ex. “Well if they know best why don’t I just make it easier for you then. If I’m not good enough in their eyes, why would I be in yours? So I’m leaving,” he says turning towards the door. “Mason no wait,” I rush towards him grabbing his arm.
“Let go Y/n,” he grits his teeth at me trying to hold back his anger. “Don’t do this please,” I cry dropping his hand. “I love you, baby. I really do but I can’t keep making myself feel worthless and like shit because they don’t think I’m good for your brand,” he says kissing my head and walking out of my apartment. 
“Wow, that is a lot to take in,” Troy said looking over at him. “Shit sorry. You have real stuff going on, forget I said anything alright,” Mason rushed out throwing stuff into his bag. “Mase no wait I wanna help you. I just don’t know how,” he says trying to stop my boyfriend from leaving. “I’ll be over around five tomorrow,” Mason smiles and heads home. He cries himself to sleep for the second night in a row.
I wasn’t doing much better than Mason, not that I knew how he was doing. He hadn’t spoken to me since he left me crying in my doorway. “If you keep crying this makeup is gonna take longer,” Morgan says passing me a tissue. She was a nice older lady who was always sharing a story with me. “Sorry, I’m making your job harder. Seems like that’s all I’ve been doing recently,” I mumble wiping my eyes. “Well not that you asked me, but I think if you are this tore up about him, he may just be worth it,” she smiles giving my shoulders a squeeze. “He is worth it and some more,” I say looking at her eyes in the mirror.
“So what’s the problem hunny,” her question makes me wonder. “Management said if I missed today I might as well never come back. And we are up for a contract renewal next month so,” I say trailing off. “Well I know I’m just an old makeup artist but I have been around a while. And if I learned anything, it’s that if you listen to other people your whole life you won’t even recognize your own voice So all you have to do is find your voice in all that voice and listen to it sweetheart,” she smiles down at me when my manager walks in rushing me to the sound stage. As I am standing waiting for our cue to start singing, I start thinking about everything.
When I was a little girl I din’t dream of selling out stadiums and having hit songs. I dreamed of having a love as pure as my parents. A love that was between two best friends. A love that was solely theirs. I had that with Mason and I let all the noise around me confuse me. I look over to my left and see my bandmates all smiling over at me. They nod their heads and mouths go. I say thank you and rush out to the street trying to find a cab. I could hear everyone yelling at me to stop but I could only hear my own voice, telling me to go find Mason.
As I waited to get off the plane in California I looked up some Ducks players on Instagram. I finally found Tory Terry and sent him a message explaining everything. I sent some pictures of Mase and I to prove I wasn’t lying. I got a message back quickly from him sending me the address of his house. I knew Mason was going to the party and I just hoped he would be happy to see me. His phone had been off all day so he hadn’t seen the dozens of news reports and articles about how I ran out today.
The party had been going on for about an hour when a couple guys gathered around and started talking. “Oh my god. Did you guys see that Y/n L/n from that really popular band just walked off stage on GMA this morning? Her management says they have no clue where she went or why she left,” Trevor says pulling out his phone showing everyone the article. Mason froze and snatched the phone from him. He quickly read the article and then pulled up another. “Dude what are you doing,” Trevor asks grabbing his phone back. Mason turned around to leave and try and find me when I stepped out of the back door with Troy and his wife Dani. 
We stood there staring at each other scared to make the first move. “Mase, I am so sorry,” I cry out and he rushes forward pulling me into his chest. “Shhh baby I know. It’s not your fault okay? I said some terrible things and hope you can forgive me,” he says into my hair ignoring all the looks from his teammates. I pull back and nod my head. “Of course I forgive you. I love you Mason,” I smile up at him. “Why did you do this? That band is your dream and you threw it away for me,” he asked wiping my tears away. “That was never my dream Mase. It was just a job. A job that was not worth losing you over,” I say grabbing his wrist with my hands. “If you don’t kiss her I will,” I hear some yell behind us. I laugh and pull him down into a kiss.
We pull apart and Mason introduces me to everyone as his girlfriend. "Told you she was real," he teased Trevor who blushed and stuttered. We both had huge smiles on our faces and didn’t leave each other’s sides for the whole party. My phone was constantly going off but I ignored it all. The only thing that mattered right now was beside me and I wasn’t going to let it slip away.  
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autumnscribbles · 1 year
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friends | b.s
Summary: Y/n and Brad get into a fight, leading Brad to find support from his best friends and band mates.
Word count: 900 ish, a bit on the short side!!
a/n: hello friends!!! back with another brad imagine😎 i’ve been back into the groove lately (sort of) and i’m happy to have another imagine out! feel free to check out my recent conrad fisher one too!! anyway love y’all hope you like it❤️
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Boop
“I-I think you should go,” you whispered, the now silent room chilled you. You stared at him, across the room, his eyebrows slightly frowning as he gazed at you.
“Y/n,” he sighed. “It’s fine we just need to sleep and we’ll be alright in the morning.”
“Brad I really don’t want to this time,” you replied. “I think maybe you should stay with one of the boys tonight and we can talk in the morning, okay?”
“If that’s really what you want,” he answered, nodding his head.
He didn’t want to go, it was the last thing he wanted. He ached at the idea of walking out that door. He knew it was what you needed, but he couldn’t shake the fear that you would never let him back in.
The back of his throat stung as he held back his words, wanting to beg you. He knew there was no point. When you made up your mind, you stuck to it. If you needed space, you were going to get it.
“Okay,” he choked out finally. “I’ll go.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked.
“Yeah,” he said, a slight curve to the corners of his mouth. It comforted him in a way, knowing you wanted him back.
She just needs space. He told himself. That was all. It wasn’t over, it couldn’t be.
He walked out to his car, the sound of his feet on the pavement echoing in the late night air. The world felt still, asleep. He almost laughed at the irony. Everything being so calm while he felt destroyed.
He let out a heavy sigh as he sat behind the wheel, pulling his phone out as he decided what to text the boys.
Hey lads. Need a place to stay tonight if any of you are available. I’ll explain later x
The rest of the boys answered almost immediately, offering up their places to Brad.
Let’s all meet at Cons! Tristan texted.
Brad nodded to himself, thankfully Connor was the closest to his and your flat. The faster he could get there, the better. He drove in silence, nothing but the hum of the wheels to distract his mind.
He got to Connor’s, seeing everyone else had already arrived as well. Brad couldn’t help but feel a tenderness for his best friends in that moment.
He walked in, knowing Connor’s door would be open, and was greeted by the concerned looks of his friends. They didn’t bombard him with questions, but the questions were swirling in their minds. Tristan passed Brad a glass of red wine, giving him a friendly wink as he raised his own glass.
“We figured you’d need a drink,” he laughed.
“Definitely can’t hurt,” Brad chuckled, taking a small sip as they went to go sit down.
He sat on the couch, letting his tense muscles relax briefly as he leaned back. He shut his eyes, trying to find a way to tell the boys what happened. They all waited patiently, not pushing him.
He loved that about them. Even if he didn’t want to talk about something, they were there for him. Whether he needed to rant or just sit in comfortable silence, they never let him down.
“Y/n and I got into this huge fight,” he finally said. “She asked me to leave for the night. Said she wanted space. I don’t know if that means she’s gonna end things or not.”
“I’m sorry mate,” James muttered, placing a gentle hand on Brad’s shoulder. “Is it a fight you can come back from?”
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I said some really horrible things, I wish I could take it all back. She probably doesn’t want me anymore.”
“You and Y/n are meant for each other,” Connor added. “I’ve never seen two people more meant for each other probably. We all know her, I don’t think she’d give up on you that easy.”
“You should have seen the way she looked at me when she told me to leave,” Brad said, the back of his throat stinging with the tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know how to forgive myself.”
“Mate we’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all gotten into bad fights with girlfriends,” James comforted. “You guys can and will get through this. I know she loves you, and she probably just wanted to sleep on it, let things cool off.”
“Maybe,” Brad shrugged. “Thanks guys.”
“We’re here for you,” Tris smiled. “I agree with James, I think you guys will work it out once you’re both fresh tomorrow.”
“I really hope so,” Brad sighed. “I can’t lose her.”
“Y/n is a smart girl,” Connor added. “She wouldn’t let you go that easily.”
The boys drank wine and chatted what felt like all night, until eventually their eyes became heavy. Connor set up the guest bedroom for Brad before turning in for the night.
Brad lay on the bed, emptiness lingering beside him. He wished he was in bed with you, where he was supposed to be. He went over everything the boys said; how you were meant to be, how she wouldn’t leave you this way, that she needed space.
He hoped they were right. Even if they weren’t, they still comforted him and made him feel like there was hope.
Hope that he’d walk through that door tomorrow, and you’d be standing there with open arms.
Sometimes all you needed to see it, were your friends.
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cannibalisedthoughts · 8 months
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Today’s Reminder (tw for mentions of suicide, and lots of abelism as well as seizures)
Fake claiming is always wrong, and it is especially wrong when you do it behind someone’s back and to their friends. It is especially wrong to use someone’s genuine concern for their health, their right to ask questions to get answers as a reason to claim they are faking.
This post goes out to the person I used to be friends with, and trusted who fakeclaimed my bipolar behind my back because we didn’t share the exact same symptoms.
To the same person, who told my best friend that I was faking the fact I may potentially have seizures because “the questions they’re asking sound nothing like seizures”
The likelihood of them seeing this is low, but if by some miracle they do I just want them to know how much damage they caused by sending those texts to my best friend.
She read those to me the other night, and just hearing those two things ripped me apart so much that I barely slept that night.
Your words destroyed me J.C.
It makes it worse that you have misgendered me to my two closest friend as well, misgendered me despite only knowing me as he or they SIMPLY because you know I’m transgender.
I am disgusted in how you can treat someone like this. I trusted you.
For those wondering why I seem more upset about these things than feels warranted allow me to list everything this person has done to me since I became friends with them.
Suicide baited me, forced me to check on their girlfriend because he refused to text her after announcing he was going to kill himself
Misgendered me to two of my best friends (who very much refused to do the same)
Fakeclaimed me
Tried to undermine my struggles because they weren’t presenting the same as his
Broke several of my boundaries and then tried using one of their disorders as an excuse
Guilted us for expressing a boundary made because of a very serious trauma
Made his trauma the only trauma allowed to be valid in the group by constantly reminding us of what he went through
Sending us pictures of something someone said about us, that caused trauma responses. These images were sent unsolicited
Telling us we were a bad friend for not being able to communicate MID PANIC ATTACK
Spreading lies about us, making us out to be a villain
Involving us in situations where we couldn’t be safely involved such as when someone they no longer wanted to associate with started to stalk him.
Creating an atmosphere in the friendship group that meant nobody felt safe to talk about their struggles.
Invading my friends’ privacy and dismissing her trauma as nothing serious.
Doubling down when they were corrected on misinformation (doubling down means they continued to aggressively insist they were correct)
Saying our migraines could not cause neurological symptoms, that it was impossible
Making us feel lesser to them because we’re still waiting for an autism diagnosis
Making us feel bad because we cannot treat our depressive episodes
Triggering our tics. Constantly and without remorse.
And that is merely half the list.
Barty from The Circus Tent System
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You break it, you fix it:
A Buddie Fic
(Eddie is dating again, and Buck is mad)
Three dates, two weeks.
Eddie has been on three dates, in two weeks.
And that’s not the part that bothers Buck.
I mean, yeah, he hated that he wasn’t the one Eddie was taking on dates. But, it’s not like Eddie liked any of these girls. He’d come back to work the next day and talk about how ‘crazy’ his Tia is for making him go on all these dates, with women he’s not interested in in the slightest. That was, until the fourth date.
“So, Eddie, how was this week's date?” Chim asked as Buck and Eddie made their way to the firehouses table.
“It actually wasn’t that bad.”
“Really?” Hen chimes in, “how so?”
“She’s…nice? I mean, the other women were obviously not my type. But I guess, she could be? I’m not sure, I’d have to go on another date with her.”
“Another date?” Shit. Buck didn’t mean to sound that angry.
Everyone turned their heads towards him, Chim and Hen’s mouths hanging open and Eddie’s face all scrunched up.
“I mean- uh..” Buck started, but then the alarm went off. Thank you, universe, thank you.
——————————————————————
To say Buck was off the rest of the day would be the best way to describe what was going on. In reality, he was pissed. Pissed at Tia Pepe for making Eddie go on these dates and pissed at Eddie for agreeing to them.
But most of all? That woman. He was so, so mad at her. Whoever she is. He imagines her and Eddie at some random restaurant with candles on the table. He’s dressed up for her. And laughing. Laughing at some probably unfunny joke, just to make her happy. He’s supposed to be laughing at Buck’s unfunny jokes. If he even makes jokes that aren’t funny.
“Buck? Helloooo?” He turned his head and saw Hen waving at him.
“Come on, Buckaroo, we’re at a scene.” Chim says, trying to push him out.
“Right, uh, sorry.”
They shared worried looks that Buck can’t see and whispered to keep an eye on him today.
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Despite Buck’s mood, all of the calls went smoothly today. It was back at the station when Buck finally broke.
“Hey, you coming over for pizza tonight? Chris has his sleepover, I’ve just got to dropped him-” Eddie starts
“No, I don’t want to go ‘over for pizza.’ Hell, Eddie, I don’t even want to see you right now. So, can you please just get out of my face and let me go home. You’ve probably got some girl waiting for you anyways. You promised her a second date, right? Yeah, go have fun. Just leave me alone.”
Buck storms off, not even grabbing his bag, and turns the keys in his Jeep with a bang. Great. Now his elbow is bleeding and will likely be bruised.
He heads back to his loft and buries his face in his pillows. It takes mere seconds for him to sobb into them.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, DAMNIT BUCKELY.” He screams, punching the pillow next to him.
“You always fuck stuff up. Everything good, you ruin it.” He says, sitting up and running his hand over his hair.
He looks up at the clock, realizing that Chris is already at his sleepover. Maybe it’s not too late to try and fix it.
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After texting Chris a confirmation that he’s already at his friends, and an embarrassing amount of Taylor Swift songs, Buck wipes his tear stained eyes on his sleeve, and walks up to Eddie’s door.
After unlocking the door with a click, he steps into Eddie’s living room, throwing his jacket down on the couch.
“Eddie? Hey, uh, could we talk?”
“One sec, Buck.” Eddie replies, stepping out of the shower. He’s wearing only gray sweats and water is dripping down his chest.
Don’t stare, Buckley, don’t stare, Buckley, don’t stare-
“Uh, sorry, were you going somewhere?” Buck says, finally looking up. Is Eddie,, blushing?
“Yeah, to yours. Wanted to see what was going on. Didn’t feel like it would be a phone conversation, y’know?”
“Yeah, probably not.” Buck sighs, sitting on the bar stool closest to Eddie.
“So..? You going to tell me what’s up?”
“I, are you?” he inhales, deeply, “are you really going to go out with that girl again?” Shit. Did those words really come out of his mouth?
Eddie moves his knee closer to Buck’s, pressing them together.
“Why do you ask?”
He doesn’t know why. Well, yes he does, but he can’t tell Eddie why. He’d ruin it all. Ruin it more than it already is.
“Evan? Can you please tell me why?”
Fuck it.
——————————————————————
“I don’t want you to. Go out with her again. Or anyone else. Ever. Ever again.”
Eddie’s hand moves to Buck’s knee and he attempts to get him to look at him. Buck’s been staring at the floor since they sat down.
“Why, Evan. Why don’t you want me to go out with her again? Or anyone.” He asks, knowing the answer.
Buck finally breaks his staring contest with the floor and looks into Eddie’s eyes. When did he start crying?
“Because, Eddie, I don’t..I don’t want you to see anyone. I don’t want you to need anyone.”
“Need anyone..?”
“But me. I don’t want you to need anyone, but me.”
They’re both crying at this point and Eddie stands him and Buck up, Buck immediately hiding his face in Eddie’s neck.
“Okay. Okay, Evan, I’ll never go out with anyone else again. Except you. And I promise to never need anyone but you ever again. I’ve always needed you, and I always will. I love you so damn much, Evan.” Eddie sobs, running his hands over Buck’s hair.
He kisses the side of Buck’s face,softly. Soothing him. Grounding him. Loving him.
“Good. And I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“For telling you this way.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way, mi amor. Not for one second.”
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idontplaytrack · 6 months
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An Angel
College!Amber Appleton x fem!reader(platonic)
warnings: fluff, coarse language, mentions/description of depression & anxiety, mentions of losing a parent
In which, Amber Appleton calls reader an angel and causes her to get flustered
Amber was your roommate at Carnegie Mellon, she was shy, but when you needed help with anything, she’d never say no to you. She was now a good friend of yours- one of your closest friends in college. Not to mention, she was practically the perfect roommate: always cleans up after herself, helps keep the place clean even when it was supposedly your turn (your classes seem to be more hectic than hers). And she understood it. You thought it was fair to make it up to her if she took your turn doing chores- usually you’d get her a drink or dessert of some sort, on your way back to campus after visiting family.
When you left the dorm on Friday afternoon, she’d just gotten back from her last class of the day. And she did not look good- she seemed so pale, you were terrified that she’d pass out without anyone around. And despite your protests, she insisted you went home for the weekend to see your family, knowing how much it meant to you. That was Amber for you- always putting others first. You knew about her losing her father to an undiagnosed heart condition, then her mother to a car accident, maybe that was why she was so insistent of you going to see your own family every chance you got. Amber’a told you that to her, family was everything. Until it wasn’t, because she didn’t have anyone anymore. Well, she said she had her friends in high school, but now, everyone lost contact with the exception of two friends. But even then, they barely ever talked.
Anyway, you were now in your car, driving back to the campus- well, the dorm. Your Mom made you some extra soup for Amber after hearing you mention that she was ill. Also, you’d made Amber text you periodically. Because…let’s face it. You were deathly worried about that girl. She doesn’t like asking for help. She fears it, almost. And that absolutely ticks you off. Why was she like that? I mean, you knew why. But still, ugh.
Oh, and her last text?
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“Amber?” You called out.
“My gosh, why are you back early?”
“Told you I’d see for myself, didn’t I? My family sees enough of me.” You laugh, “My little siblings are asking why I’m always home. I dunno what to tell them.”
She cracked a smile.
“Did you eat?” You asked.
“What? Of course I have been eating.” She sat up.
“Good.” You nodded, “Okay, my Mom gave us extra food and soup - so you’d better eat up later.”
“Alright.” She sighs softly, a chuckle escapes her lips, “Tell your Mom I said thank you.”
“I will.” You assured, putting down the plastic bag containing the Tupperwares. “Did the fever break?”
“Came back this morning.” She mumbled.
“Are you sure this is just a cold?”
“Yes. I’m not throwing up, so it’s not the flu or a stomach bug. Nothing else hurts other than my head.” She listed.
“Okay, okay.” You laughed lightly, throwing her hands up in mock defeat, “I’m gonna take a shower real quick, you…don’t try and do anything to make yourself pass out.”
She laughs heartily, “I’m just gonna be sitting here or walking to the kitchen to refill my water bottle. Promise.”
“Okay, Amber.” You let out another laugh before disappearing into the bathroom with a fresh change of clothes and your towel.
Okay, at least she was fine when you were done with your shower- she’d dozed off while watching some random movie on her laptop. You paused the video, put her laptop on her desk then draped the blanket over her properly. Last thing you did, was to feel her forehead with the back of your hand: she was a little warm, but you figured you could probably let her sweat it out with this nap first instead of waking her up to take a dose of fever reducer. It was really quiet, so you thought she’d actually passed out. Meanwhile, you located your own laptop and resumed working on a paper you’d pressed pause on- you were fresh out of the shower, your mug filled with your favourite coffee, your headphones were on as your favourite songs played through them. It was the perfect scenario for productivity.
After a little over an hour, you decided you were done. Saving the document, you yawned, a little tired. But, you were satisfied you completed the work- though, you still needed to proofread it and make edits after this. Your gaze lands on Amber who was beginning to stir in her sleep. Removing your headphones, you hear the girl let out a groan as she moved around in her slumber. Your ears perked up in concern as you approached her sleeping figure - watching her like a hawk to decide your next move. Within seconds, though, she was awake. You ask if she was okay. “I’m uh, gonna need that fever medicine.”
“As you wish.” You shrugged, walking back to the cabinet above the bathroom sink to retrieve the bottle. You hand it to her as she took a sip of water to hydrate, making her dry throat feel better. “Your head really hurts, doesn’t it?” You questioned knowingly. She admitted it with a nod of her head as she tilted it up to aid the swallowing of the pill. “I was supposed to take another dose anyway - so, right on time. Thanks.”
“I think you’d better eat a little bit, y’know. It’s not good to take that on an empty stomach.” You took out the Tupperwares from its bag, then going to grab a bowl and set of cutlery.
“Okay.” She doesn’t protest, “You should eat some too if you haven’t. It’s been awhile since you first got back.”
“I will,” You flashed her a smile as you filled the bowl with the sopita your Mom cooked.
“Thank you.” She says while stirring the food with her spoon, she watches the pieces float around in the bowl.
“What? What for?”
“For taking care of me. For caring.” Amber purses her lips together, “It’s been pretty hard for me to make friends that even make it out of the lecture halls. Barely anyone ever reaches out to me again, and it’s just something that I’ve gotten used to, I guess. Why are you so nice to me?”
“Of course I am. You’ve been a great friend- always nice to me, happy to help. If you’re nice to me, you’ll know. However of course, if you aren’t, you’ll also know because I’ll tell you like it is.”
“You’re an angel.” She remarked, you nearly choked on your mouthful of noodles and veggies. She watched you, alarmed, then quickly patted your back.
“I’m fine.” You chuckled awkwardly.
“I mean it, though. This is really nice of you. You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“Amber, listen to me. You’re my friend and I care about you, just like you do for me.” You inevitably let a sigh escape.
“I’m just…not used to it, accepting help.” She finally admitted.
“Yeah.”
“I know, I have been going to therapy but I still have a lot of work to do.”
“All progress is progress.” You smiled.
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simmysunset · 7 months
Text
Whoever Loves Her Next - 07
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Throughout the next few weeks after I told my parents, the name of the game was avoidance. I was avoiding everything possible when it came to even thinking about Harry, but the world made this harder on me than I ever would have thought.
I should have known before ever getting on the plane to Florida that I would be caught by paparazzi there. It hardly took 24 hours for the pictures to spread all over social media, along with the presumptions from both fans and magazines. Most of them were correct in assuming I was pregnant, but neither Harry or I had taken to the press to confirm anything. I know he wouldn’t want to say something to anyone without my permission. As for me, I refuse to step back into the spotlight before I’m ready.
It takes a couple days and one post in particular for me to decide to log out of all my social medias for the time being. It was a short video clip from the night of the concert before we lost Michael, one that I had been refusing to see ever since it started spreading.
It shows Harry’s face the very moment he saw Alex offstage, signaling him to come off despite them being in the midst of a song. He didn’t hesitate. He nearly dropped his guitar and sprinted off the stage, knowing just by a glance that something was wrong. The video ends abruptly as everyone in the audience realized that something was happening. I held my phone against my chest and fought back the tears at the memories rushing through my mind.
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From that moment, I knew I couldn’t handle anymore bombardment from the fans and press. I didn’t even announce my departure from my accounts, I just logged out without a word to anyone. If anyone I knew needed to contact me, they’d have to do it through a text or phone call.
The avoidance came in other ways, too. My coworkers had been asking about my trip, but I brushed it aside every time they brought it up. Occasionally, I would hear two of the younger staff members whispering when I would step into the break room for a drink. I knew it was about me, and yet, I still did my best to ignore it.
On top of that, I had put off making an appointment with my OBGYN almost every day. My annual exam wasn’t for another few months, so she would know something was up the moment I called. I hadn’t even worked up the courage to search for the office’s phone number yet. The closest I got was sitting on my bed in near tears, clinging onto the pregnancy test with one hand as the other wiped at my eyes.
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I knew one of the hardest parts of being pregnant again would be telling my friends. I could hardly even admit it to myself, so saying it to another person felt like mission impossible. One of my closest friends, Clarissa, was the first one I told and was completely out of the blue.
She insisted on taking me shopping to get me out of the house, as she knew how depressed I was, but not the reason why. Her intentions were good, but all I could think about as she sifted through the racks of clothes was that soon, I’d be outgrowing all of mine due to the little person in my stomach.
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“What you really need is a new dress,” Clarissa insisted. “A night out on the town with me and some hot guys is the perfect way to make yourself feel alive again.”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled as we went to the next rack, this one being full of short, glittery dresses. “I don’t really need new party clothes.”
“Well, then what part of the store do you want to go to?” She asked.
My stomach started twisting into a knot as I spoke. “Maybe the maternity section?”
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The moment the words fall out of my mouth, I can feel her eyes on me. Her lips are parted not only in surprise, but worry. She knows how terrifying pregnancy is for me now, but I can tell that she is so shocked she doesn’t know what to say. I do it for her as the tears begin welling up in my eyes.
“I didn’t go on vacation. I went to Harry.” My voice wavers when I speak his name, and she reaches out to rest a hand on my shoulder while I wipe at my eyes to stop them from overflowing.
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“He’s just so different from who he was,” I tell her. “And I know I’m different, too, it’s just…”
“Scary?” Clarissa assumes correctly, and I nod in response. “Are you scared that you’re too different to get back together?”
I huff in frustration when a tear manages to escape. I quickly wipe it away as I reply. “I’m scared of that; I’m scared of losing the baby. I’m scared of everything. To move too much or breathe too hard. I’m scared I could fuck it all up again and make him fall back into the pit he was in a few months ago.”
“You didn’t fuck anything up, babe.” She pulls me by my shoulder to enter a hug. This only makes me want to cry more. “And you can’t bend over backwards for him to try keeping him away from the pit. You have to focus on staying away from it yourself.”
A sob erupts from the back of my throat, and I squeeze her tightly. “I don’t know how to stay away when every day, I seem to be a little closer to the edge.”
“That’s what you have me for,” she assures me. “I’ll always be here to bring you back, okay?”
I sniffle as I rest my head against her. “Okay.”
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