#and telling us their thoughts etc
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Would love to see this cut scene
Joong shared that he actually cried during the ex flashback scene but they cut it out because they think it's too dramatic..
Also, at the beginning he was acting out the dancing scene 😂 He really can't sit still 😆
#they need to organize more the heart killers schedules where they share bts stories#or have them reacting to more scenes#and telling us their thoughts etc#it's so interesting and fun to know all these#sighs but it's gmmtv that we are talking about#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai#the heart killers#the heart killers ep 3#the heart killers interview
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He added, after a pause: “Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.”
Les Misérables, Volume I / Book V / Chapter III, trans. Hapgood
#is this anything? idk I've been looking at it too long to tell. anyways I just really liked this passage#^ the text here is a little abridged tbc bc i couldn't draw all the uses of nettles he lists etc#I think I might also color that last panel separately bc I'm really pleased with it tbh#thoughts#my art#les mis#jean valjean
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UM. heres this. my hand hurts
#tgaa 2 spoilers#tgaa spoilers#tgaa#the great ace attorney#asoryuu#kazuma asogi#ryunosuke naruhodo#ive been working on this all day i could not do anything wlse until i finished this. Help me#i think u can tell i was getting tired near the end i had a vision makimg this i hope. i at least got it through Smiles#lalala they haunt my mind!#i first thought of this while looking for paint for my walls and was listening to skyfall and was like. holy balls#<- and ive been thinking of it since i got a rush of motivation to do it today. I needed to share this#i love rambling in tags sorry LOLL#my art#(i need to get some app for making animatics etc because i keep using procreate with 37483 layers for the frames im worried its gonna explod#e)
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Hey! The ask!! Lets see if i can manage to type everything i thought about in the time i got my break!!
So. I got thinking. (This was also a half baked drabble idea but didnt feel like making it a full one so you are getting the idea like this!! >:D)
We spoke about how Killer would be guarding Nightmare in the raid where Dream manages to steal him.
The problem is. If Killer can still move this guy WILL throw himself at Dream to save Nightmare. Meaning that Killer has to be mortally wounded. (Also works with why Nightmare rushes to shield his older brother)
So we got Killer just laying in whatever room Nightmare and him ahd been in. Probably slowly bleeding out.
On one hand. You can have the Knights run in right after. But then what is stopping them from splitting up, one part staying with Killer and one part rushing after Dream? And it has been YEARS since Dream last visited the castle. He may not remember everything quite right.
So... in theory. It should take more time for the Knights to get to Killer. But Killer is mortally wounded.
So. In comes!! Ccino (my beloved).
Ccino had been going towards killer and nightmare after helping the servants and maids evacuate or go to the bunker.
He gets there to see Killer pretty much laying there dying on the ground, Nightmare no where to be seen.
What does he do?
Ccino's crisis management skills activate. He wants to find Nightmare but he has no clue of where Nightmare went and he has no way to fight whoever took him. Killer is in front of him actively dying.
He goes to Kilelr's side.
Killer, the romantic idiot, probably realises he is fucking dying. So maybe he is like. Maybe i can confess? (Add some extra angst and make it that the hit was by either his neck or spine or soul. Making him unable to communicate)
Ccino is trying to keep the wound closed but he has no healing magic. He doenst even have first aid kit on him beyond the bare minimum. What does he do?
Well... he knows there is one being still in the castle. He does a little prayer and asks for help.
For Killer? Killer is slowly falling unconscious. He tried to confess but cant speak. He cant even apologise for failing everyone and losing Nightmare. At least Ccino is here in his last moments. He isnt alone. So he falls asleep.
Maybe some warm light guides him. A familiar voice that was once a friend? He tries to follow only to be stopped. Stopped by something sharp and pulling him down. Back into the darkness. It feels like when he fell into a bush. The way those thorns prick his bones.
Killer at first tries to follow the image of his friend (were they his friend? They saved him right? So why shouldnt he follow them?)
Only to hear so soft. So quietly from the darkness. 'Please dont let him die...'
And that sounds like Ccino... so Killer follows that voice. Goes into the darkness and it feels as if he traveled through a overgrown forest with sticks and stuff all pulling on his limbs.
And he wakes up. His skull in Ccino's lap as Ccino keeps the wound closed and did the best first aid he did. Moments later the Knights rush in to assist.
(Yes. The tree pulled Killer's soul back to the living side while the memories of chara were trying to pull killer into oblivion and get him to die)
Okay that is all. I wanted to get that out of my system.
Okay. Hi. As always, losing my everloving mind over this. Gonna make a Cut so it's easier to scroll hehe-
First off, you are SO right about Killer fighting till he physically can't move. I think that the combat between Dream and Killer is actually decently drawn out, because Dream is kinda in a frenzy (Storm growing outside + just obliterated Cross as far as he knows) and as a mostly long-range attacker it was stupid of him to try and fight Killer alone in a confined space. Killer's fast, and has a lot more to lose if he loses this fight (Nightmare is still hidden but low key stuck, and Dream is very adamant about ending his life) so he gets up close and personal for a while and lands quite a few solid attacks. However, Killer has also heard about Dream. He saw the distress on his little face when Cross admitted who had sent him and why. How Nightmare refused to send an assassination party to end things prematurely. This is Night's brother, so Killer won't kill him. As much as he wants to.
This leaves him at a direct disadvantage, and anytime he backs off to recoup Dream shoots arrows at him. (I also think he took a couple on purpose, because where he'd hidden Nightmare was the trajectory and he couldn't block it fast enough). And then, I like to think that when Killer gets in really close one time, Dream summons his blades, the ones he was still a novice with. But! One of Them peirces Killer's outer ring of his soul, and Dream jabs upwards (kinda using his other hand on the hilt to have more force) and wedges it into Killer's spine just past his ribcage. When Dream does this it his the magical equivalent of a vein, and when he shoves Killer away and off his blade, the other can only stay upright for a few stumbles before he teeters and falls onto his back.
Soul out in the open, covered in wounds (I like to think Dream's arrows peirce and burn), and now bleeding and seemingly paralyzed, Dream pulls out his bow again, ready to shoot Killer straight in his target soul. But, he's still selfish, and he wants to monolgue a bit, curse Killer (who he believes has been controlling his brother for so long) and shoots his hand, then a gash in his neck from a well-placed arrow, until he can see that dusty layer rising on Killer's bones signaling it'll be a slow death.
But, when he finishes cursing out Killer, is ready to fire the final shot? Nightmare had been hiding in a wardrobe, when Killer had stopped talking he'd gotten worried and peeked out against his better judgement. Now, with the scene, he rushes into the crossfire and, like we've discussed, the arrow ricochets off the mask and knocks it off, revealing Night in his teen form.
And it's a quick pleading, a desperate little plea from Nightmare not to kill Killer, or hurt his knights or the people. To just stop. And Dream, after his moment of shock + probing Night's emotions to find this really is him, scoops him up. His intention was to finish Killer off, but the storm outside roars louder and he can feel a strong emotion hurrying his way, so he decides to retreat. Killer should bleed out anyways.
And now finally to your point!!! Ccino is absolutely the best option! The Knights have no idea what's happening inside, and all they can. Do to help is keep Blue and Ink occupied. Cross is down for the count and looking rough, and they just have to trust that Killer got Night out or somewhere safe. Ccino? Ccino finished his part of the job, efficient af, and is rushing to go find Nightmare and Killer. He doesn't know Dream got in, he doesn't know quite where they'd be, but he can kinda sus it out based on carnage and wet steps in the halls where *soneone* got it. If they did, Killer would probably be stalling with Night nearby.
And like u said, he gets there and finds Killer actively dying, and crisis management kicks in! Ough everything about this moment is so perfect... Ccino never learned medicine, and has no healing magic, so he can only make Killer a little more comfortable and put pressure on his wounds to try and stop the bleeding. And he *sees* that soul injury. No matter how well he staunches the blood flow with his apron, that would surely kill him without treatment. And Killer seems to still be conscious, but barely. He's fading. And silent, which is deeply eerie and Wrong.
And good gods. Killer wanting so so bad to confess because, he's gonna die anyways so he wants to get it out, but he Literally can't say anything?? Wauhh!!!!!
And Ccino reaching out to the Veing in the castle... praying, begging for Killer to be saved, because Ccino refuses to leave him alone, and also refuses to lose him. Killer was Night's first knight, the most important person in that kid's world (Ccino doesn't count himself). All the Knights rely on Killer for guidance and support. Ccino needs Killer in his life, this idiot, this criminal, is somehow one of his favorite people in this castle. Please, please, please don't let him go. Keep him here until help arrives. *please*.
And the Castle obliges. Not only is Killer the one who protected Nightmare, the prince who is restoring this land, but Killer is one Ccino values. Ccino is here, stopping his wounds, begging for help to save a life. He hasn't done that before.
And!!! The description from Killer's perspective!!!!! For all intents and purposes, it seems the warm friendly voice (Chara!!!) Should be the one he follows. It's gentle, beckoning towards a soft glow, it's peaceful. And then the tree's method of getting Killer back is to snag him. Darkness, unpleasant contact that stabs and pricks and scratches. It's not nice, it's not subtle, it's dragging him back into pain and agony of his injuries (even if it's not immediate). But Killer doesn't fight because he hears Ccino! Even if he doesn't process that it's him, it unlocks something in his core that makes him decide to take the hard route and push back through that dense forest until he's back to the living realm. Still on death's door, but alive!
Oh I love this visual so dearly, frothing at the mouth about it....
And ofc the aftermath. Dream couldn't find the main entrance, so he snuck out a servant's door and signaled from outside that he was ready to go. The militia (I think the guard was busy holding off militia members from entering the castle walls) retreats first, scattering into town and Rogers demands no pursuit, hold the walls strong. Then Blue and Ink narrowly escape by simply using Ink's magic puddles, appearing somewhere else in the city through a big enough rain puddle. (Though, miles out they're still dodging the occasional lightning strike).
Only after they're too far off do the knight rush back. Horror's got Cross (in critical condition due to a blow to the side of his ribs+spine but ultimately stable) and Dust leads the way to search for Night and Killer, also following the trail Dream had left, and... they find Ccino and Killer. Killer is very very much limp in Ccino's lap, they're basically sitting in a pool of Killer's blood, and Ccino upon spotting them rapidly tells Dust to go find a healer and bring them here. Immediately.
Horror sets Cross nearby and focuses his efforts on trying to help Ccino put pressure on Killer's wounds but he can't do much either.
But, y'know, the healers who have magic for it are able to stabilize him (they are flabbergasted that he's not dead) and Cross is alright too. Dust + Horror go searching for Night. Nowhere to be found.
#new age au#Ancha I'm shaking you again!!!!#when I tell you I GASPED at the descriptors? at the symbolism and tasty perspective swaps for the two of them??? I'm losing it#I'm eating this rn-#and finally not holding it hostage haha!#also I realized that Error doesn't have a place in this raid??? idk how I forgot him???#i'm thinking the only feasable convept for him is that he wastold by Ccino to watch out for the servants#because on second thought idk if they'd evacuate so much as shelter in a safe space#so it makes sense to be that Error would go with Ccino and use his magic to defend the folks who have zero combat experience#it keeps Error out of the fight (good for plot so Dream doesn't know his face. good for Night + Ccino because#they know Error's young and they don't want him in the fight. etc.)#and. frankly. if Error had been running off with Nightmare and Killer? he would have less impulse control and probably would've been able to#stop Dream which is much less climactic haha!#but yeah finally done holding ur ask hostage!!! this was a gorgeous one!!!
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indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so
#I just thought today of a new way to format a 'profile' (like the descriptions of self that people use on friend meeting#apps and stuff) and how to organize the sections so that it seems such and such a way and oh what if there's links which click off#into branching paths so it's very acessible and there are two different forms depending on so on and so forth#and i was like 'um.. wow. amazing idea. this will be soooo aweseome and will definitely work' but then .. you know...self reflection#lol.. is this just like the millions of other iterations of a similar thing? No.. This Is Different ... Surely...#Though if I had a millionaire friend and a few people who do the type of coding you use for web design stuff and etc..#I could create the most elaborate detailed and amazing platonic friend seeking (and I guess you could also have 'dating' as an option#since that would draw in more of a crowd) website on the earth.. the new okcupid (back when okcupid didn't suckishly abandon their#whole format in hopes of trying to become just like tinder or whatever and they actually had like tons of info and percentages and#open answer questions and would list personality traits on a profile (like 'this person is more Open To New Expereinces than 65% of#other users' etc.). etc. etc. Oh what a beautiful thing I could craft for the detail freaks of the world.... Alas...#unfortunately we seem to be in an oversimplification era.. everything in short quick bites. everything on a tiny phone screen. etc.#marketing 'Introducing The Most Complicated Data Heavy Social Connection Site In The World' would not sell well I'd imagine gjhgjh#AANYWAY.. also no idea why the representation of me is in a turtle neck. what a bold fashion choice..#In another moment of self reflection.. the fact that in the first tag on this post I felt the need to define the word 'profile' just to be#specific as if people couldn't tell from context.. so clearly someone who finds filling out forms a 'fun afternoon activity' lol#the type of guy who finds psych evaluations and pop quizzes and making chore lists mostly enjoyable (< true)
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thetardisisblueandroseistoo replied to your post "I didn't think it was possible for him to look…"
I'm going to be zero percent surprised when it comes to light down the road that the last few years of David and Georgia's marriage were completely for the sake of his public image….It amazes me how we have seen it with other celebs and yet people look at him and go "Naaaaah, he's with a woman, he's totally 100% straight!!"….
@thetardisisblueandroseistoo I mean, regardless of what may happen with David and Georgia's marriage (and I'm not saying you're entirely wrong), what I take from this is that I do not understand anyone who still wants to dismiss even the possibility of David being anything other than 100% straight. Especially if their reason for doing so is only that he is married to a woman.
Because when I look at this photo from tonight, I see a lot of things:
I see silliness. I see joy. I see (more than a little) tipsiness. But what I see most of all is someone who isn't hiding anymore. That could mean one of several things, of course. David could just be a really flamboyant straight man who's finally being open about that side of him, and there is nothing wrong with that.
When taken together with everything we have seen over the last year, however--the abundance of Pride gear David has been wearing, the flashy/bright/sparkly suits, the interviews where he talks so emotionally about Pride--it starts to feel like something else. That it's not just the clothes; it's that the clothes are an external representation of something David is feeling on the inside.
Maybe in the past he felt the need to dress or behave a certain way for the sake of his public image (which as you said is something that's happened with countless other celebrities), but whatever is on the inside now is demanding to be seen, heard, and respected. And I genuinely love that David now seems to be in a place in his life where he can let that out without worrying what other people think...
#thetardisisblueandroseistoo#reply post#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#georgia tennant#i know you can't tell a person's sexuality from how they stand/talk/etc.#but i love that he is slowly telling us who he is#not all at once but cumulatively over the last few years#and we can see the change in him on the inside and outside#i just hope David knows that he is lovely#and deserves good things#thoughts#discourse
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nami and zoro instantly clock eachother as gay when they meet in Orange Town and it takes luffy about a week to remember that romance and attraction exists then Also instantly clocks them
#rdt is just three queer people looking at eachother and instantly Know#i love them#nami and zoro have psychic queer offs on that tiny ass boat they had for like five episodes#nami pulls up sees some fucker bleeding out from a stab wound and goes I Know What You Are#luffy probably radiates so much queer energy but its so hard to decipher in what direction#[aroace luffy hes just like me fr]#is this inspired by my friend telling me hes seeing people romantically and i got confused because i forgot that like attraction existed#yeah#i loove rdt#theyre such a fun dynamic of three people who you think Would autism clash but no!!#theyre besties#zoro teases nami about vivi when she first joins and she tries killing him#nami embarasses zoro whenever he tries to flirt with a guy at a bar and he tries to kill her#etc#they use luffy as a human shield#okay im done#one piece#op#one piece thoughts#roronoa zoro#zoro#cat burglar nami#nami#monkey d luffy#straw hat luffy#luffy#romance dawn trio
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.
#i’m putting this down here because i don’t actually really want to talk about it or answer asks about it but i’m like a little annoyed lmao#first of all obviously people should have boundaries and not be annoying/invasive/etc. duh.#i have been around the rpf block many a time and rule 1 is don’t be a weirdo. don't let it out of fandom spaces :)#but yeah idk. oliver stark to me feels like someone who is actually very familiar with the mechanics of fandom warfare#and therefore does not know how to log off when it starts to get personal#like to be clear i definitely do not think he engages directly with This fandom other than to lurk and spy on people for fun/haterism#but in MY opinion he has the energy of a person who spends a nonzero amount of time engaged in petty anonymous beef#over a character or a ship or a sport or a new brand of tofu. idk i don’t really care what he’s into#but it does sort of seem like he forgets that when he’s doing it on his real socials with his real face and real name attached#people are going to know that it’s him and respond accordingly and he should just like. block them and move on.#and maybe even go back to his burner and vague about it or something if he truly cannot just walk away.#which he does seem to be sort of getting slightly better at but it's still just like. yeah man! i don't know what to tell you.#people are weird sometimes. we all get weird anons and dm’s and people cyberbullying us. it sucks and it shouldn't happen but it does.#and you do literally just have to find ways to make it easier to ignore them. i know that you know this#because you are a human who grew up on the same exact internet as the rest of us.#i say; as i feel compelled to post about a tiny situation from like 12 hours ago that has literally nothing to do with me#anyway!!!!!!!#i went into the settings to turn off reblogs and thought how funny would it be if i blazed this post lmao
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I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.
I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.
I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.
I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.
and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?
#thoughts after how worried I’ve been recently. since june I think#I’d love to start a conversation in this fandom about the connection im newly discovering between burnout and mental illness and fatigue#in a way we can be positive about these things and be there for each other without calling anyone to confirm if we interpret some songs#to represent experiences that may or may not be theirs because it doesn’t matter in the end. we have these songs and if you get it you get#we’ve all been clocked as ‘not feeling very well’ recently anyway so. it doesn’t need to be specific. but we do need to be kind#like hey. artist. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through to have written these songs that mean this to me. but I’m here for you#fill in the blanks. all we’ve got are our stories to share. I hope mine helps us understand and be a little kinder to those who need it#without thinking we can judge who we think needs it. but rather default to kindness and in the case of musicians etc that means patience#it means we learn together. what it means to connect and have boundaries and the boundaries they might like to have#anyway I’ve not said who these songs are by so if you reblog and wanna tag another artist that’s g I’ve got a few by several others as well#but I know this fandom. I know this band and I know exactly why I worry for each band member though I’m not gonna say here. just. take care#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#exact experience of burnout I have talked about is that of someone with adhd and a pda profile and some form of bipolar#which may be a product of pda profile things or not. these aren’t the only diagnoses I’d likely fit but they are the ones that explain the#story and have guided me to understand how to recover and I’m doing that bit by bit. and if you want me to tell you how please ask#but I’m not advertising it cause that’s weird I’d sound like a scammer if I did. even if when I’m hypomanic I think I can heal everyone
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i am always saying cori is nonbinary but that really is more so a way for me to conceptualize it and explain it to everyone than like, what cori would say.
#but trying to explain how cori sees it makes me feel like i’m talking in incomprehensible circles ahdjdkskd#cori turned 13 and their body started changing and they started getting referred to as a girl and they were like…i don’t think so.#but if you say so…not completely disconnected from it but not fully embracing it either#which is why like. they are mostly okay with she/her but do not want to be called a woman or ma’am etc#and also i think they like it when people they’re close to use they/them esp after a day spent doing WoL stuff where i think they get a lot#of she/her. their mom knows this and shtola also#debroye (who i’ve decided cori is close too now adfhj) and i think erenville probably picks up on it#viera to viera understanding. cori tells estinien and he adjusts.#idk if any of this makes sense i was just thinking about whether or not i thought they used modern terms#like nb or trans not just bc of the setting but bc of viera culture#but also yeah i was thinking about a certain other game storyline sfgjgf#ANYWAY.#i need a text post tag
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im getting real sick of 'intelligence'
who decided reading books and writing counted as intelligence? who decided that getting high scores on a strict, unfeeling system meant you were better than everybody? who decided that people should be turned into numbers, tie their worth in society into numbers, to compare people on a scale that ultimately does not matter, so that the people who didn't dump everything to perform for it are berated and the people who did end up with nothing?
who decided not reading or writing was a lack of intelligence? who decided that living differently to them was a sign of lower 'societal worth' than those who conformed?
#r slur#and a big rant#in the following tags#this too is just a tool for oppression#but if you had been crushed in the grips of the education system and left limp in the dirt you knew that already#but it's not only a way for society to weed out the 'retards'. it's more than that#let me tell you something#estonia used to be in tribes around the 1000s-1200s or so#a lot of our old historical records were written by someone else#usually christian invaders and other occupying forces who thought we were barbaric and what have you#because we were pagan (especially with Taarapita) and *we did not have a written language*#according to christian-western ideals this means that our population must be like super dumb#and its 'our job' to enlighten them :)#and they did this with anyone who didn't conform.#intelligence has always been a tool to excuse it#so it feels good#so it feels right#You're 'helping' them. enlightening a primitive race#so that they follow Our standards#it's colonialism all the way down#and it still echoes into the modern day. we still see academia as intelligence while we ignore proficiency in other forms#let's not forget the classism of it either. i live in the CEO of classism#working class people are seen as dumber and are thus treated worse because they didn't dump all of their money/future money into#a societally-approved institution like oxford or something#despite the fact that they rely on working class people to operate#or the fact that their booksmarts don't cover years of knowing how to run a corner store#i suppose the general conclusion i want to convey is that we can all do different things well and using a linear scale is bullshit#(and an oppressive tool lol)#people are good at different things and you have to learn to be ok with that#this applies to anything - trades/ crafts/ booksmarts/ spectrums of neurodivergence/ etc
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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that stupid comicbook.com article and also fan response in general to the companion romance situation annoys me so bad for the sole reason that everyone acts like the only people in the game are the pc and playable companions
#mine#dragon age#so many people use dorian as justification and like. you know we could have non romanceable characters who are gay#where’s the people using cassandra as evidence for why this is good actually#‘it limits the types of stories you can tell’ with THOSE specific characters. however there are probably others#i’ll admit i thought it was bizarre that they made every companion romanceable. i hate to make this comparison bc i know everyone has been#saying they’re similar when they’re really not. but that specifically feels like some baldurs gate shit#but like. think of leliana in inquisition. joker in mass effect. etc. characters whose story develops even if they’re not going on missions#it’s just this weird video game conception that sexuality only exists for romanceable characters#(or i should say. people assume every NPC is heterosexual by default. until proven otherwise by a romance arc)#but like. everyone uses the dorian example. his conflict with his homophobic father happens regardless of whether you romance him#it’s not tied to the fact that he’s romanceable. y’all just see sexuality as only relevant when you personally can or cannot smash#idk if the lighthouse will be populated now that we know it’s in the fade but theoretically we’ll have allies#and some of those allies. may identify as something other than cishet#or other than pansexual if that’s the problem but grow up. pansexual characters are not cheap and not lesser#playersexuality is a concept so gamer bros can pretend their companions are straight#because if they don’t interact with dorian and sera they can pretend everyone is straight in this game#here’s the thing like. i can understand the disappointment that every character is romanceable bc. sigh. gaider does make a good point#but that’s not what’s going on here. people are upset the companions are explicitly pan and the game is Woke#and they might try to spin it as ‘b but what about dorian’s arc in a game like this’ when once again#there may be other characters. who are not companions. who we spend time with#varric and solas are literally in all of the stuff we’ve and neither of them are playable#come ON
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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i think my brain should be studied i'm being fr
#surely this isn't normal#my dreams are like a portal to another life#sometimes i dream about the next day in advance#like with full details. and i often plan lessons in my sleep#sometimes i dream up entire stories with full fledged characters and backstories and intricate plot points etc#last night i dreamt up not just one but about ten such episodes#in the same night i also dreamt that i started taking T and had sex with a random girl and then had. a kinky adventure with dean winchester#(i love being ace about also this dream sex was pretty nice!)#i'm not gonna tell all the stories bc we would be here all day but#there were a Lot of different stories in my dream#full stories that all felt like they happened over the course of days or weeks or months or years in some cases#god i met so many different people in one night and they don't even exist#how i am expected to function properly when my head is so full of memories from lives i never lived but also kind of did#i feel like there's a hundred different universes in my memories and they're all from dreams but they all feel super real#like oh yeah remember that time i was part of a forest dwelling society that started gaining powers and we all thought they were#evil powers but it turns out the forest had given us the ability to communicate with it and to fly and to heal#or oh yeah i traveled the world once and then on my way back i had to cheat customs that wanted to charge me an exorbitant amount of money#for my luggage#by jumping down the luggage slide and travelling with the luggage#or oh yeah i was on T once and actually lost my T pills in a swamp but i dug around and ended up finding them#and i started to grow facial hair after like a week#like stoooop that's too many lives to live#every single night i go through another portal and live a whole ass life#rain.stuff#rain.dreams
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oh wait a minute
#okay maybe not strictly a parallel in that they're very different situations#But like smth smth them both being confrontational situation where they're both trying to put a cool face on very heightened emotions#& using this response. & like the offhand (dismissive?) tone for a very serious situation. perhaps the lack of self preservation. etc etc.#<- or like maybe not but very fun anyways they're the only two characters that say this phrase this way in the book that i can tell#thoughts#les mis#^ in french bc hapgood at least translates 'ennuyer' differently in the different scenes (-> 'bore' vs 'annoy')
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