#and talk to strangers there and participate

[livebeforeyoulearn]

Touch You Softly

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: A soft, fleeting encounter of stargazing with a stranger.

-

The night is cold, biting, with winter's chill clinging to the air, but somehow you’ve ended up on the beach, surrounded by the warmth of friends and the soft glow of a bonfire. The flames crackle and snap, sending sparks into the air, which disappear against the backdrop of a starless sky. You pull your jacket tighter around you, feeling the sand shift beneath you as you sit close to the fire. Your friend, ever considerate, sits beside you while the rest of the group is scattered around – dancing, laughing, and sharing drinks. Their joy is palpable, the kind that comes with alcohol and carefree moments. But you? You’ve never been the type to drink or throw yourself into the wild abandon of nights like these. You’re content to watch from the sidelines, the quiet observer in a scene of chaos.

Your friend, aware of your tendency to withdraw, has stayed with you, perhaps out of solidarity, perhaps because they know you’d prefer not to be left alone. You appreciate it, even though neither of you says much. The silence between you is companionable, the kind that doesn’t demand filling. From your vantage point, you can see everything, every detail of the evening. Your eyes, sharp and observant, catch sight of a group of women walking towards your friends. They’re laughing, their voices blending into the wind that blows in from the sea, and they’re dressed for the cold in thick jackets, scarves, and beanies. You can almost feel the contrast between the warmth of the fire and the bitter cold beyond its reach.

One of your more intoxicated friends notices them first, stumbling forward with an exaggerated wave, calling out an invitation to join. You cringe inwardly at the slurred enthusiasm but watch as the women react. Some of them hesitate, exchanging glances, but three of them move forward, accepting the offer with grateful smiles. They integrate themselves into the circle with ease, accepting drinks and joining in the chatter, their laughter soon mingling with the rest. They’re friendly, easygoing, the kind of people who blend in anywhere. The group around the fire swells with new energy, and soon the air is filled with louder conversations, the rhythmic beat of feet dancing in the sand, and the clinking of bottles. 

But not all of them have joined in. Across from you, a couple of women sit off to the side, much like you and your friend, preferring the quiet to the noise. They talk softly between themselves, their words indistinct over the crackling fire and the sea’s low roar. It’s then that you notice her. One of the women, sitting slightly apart, bundled in a puffer jacket with a beanie pulled low over her ears. She looks cold, hunched into herself, her hands shoved deep into her pockets, her knee bouncing as if trying to generate warmth. The firelight flickers across her face, and though the distance between you makes it hard to see her features clearly, there’s something about her that draws your gaze. Even from here, she looks stunning – otherworldly, almost. Her hair spills over her shoulder, caught in the occasional gust of wind, and she occasionally squints, her face contorting against the heat of the flames.

You can’t help but smile to yourself, the warmth of the fire reflected in the warmth you feel just watching her. She looks thoughtful, her attention shifting between the fire, the waves lapping at the shore, and her friends, but she doesn’t join in with the group. Much like you, she seems content to remain on the periphery, to observe rather than participate. It’s comforting, in a way, to know that you’re not the only one who prefers the quiet moments, the subtle joys of watching rather than doing.

Your breath catches in your throat when her eyes finally land on you. It’s a brief, fleeting glance, one that you’re sure she hadn’t intended to linger. But then, as if realising something, she looks back. This time, the moment stretches out, her gaze locking with yours across the fire. You feel rooted in place, your heart picking up a rhythm that surprises you. Her expression is unreadable, but there’s a softness in the way she looks at you, a curiosity maybe. Before you can process it, her eyes drop to the sand, her face turning thoughtful, as if she’s considering something. Still, you can’t look away. There’s something about her presence that captivates you, something unspoken hanging in the space between you.

When she looks up again, it’s with purpose. She tilts her head subtly, nodding toward a darker part of the beach, away from the fire and the crowd. You follow her gesture with your eyes, trying to figure out what she means, and then it hits you. She’s asking you to follow her. 

You glance back at her and nod, your own heart giving a nervous flutter. She rewards you with a soft, almost shy smile. You quickly turn to your friend, mumbling an excuse that barely registers, and when they don’t seem to notice or care, you stand, your movements almost mechanical, spurred on by an invisible force. 

As you start walking away from the fire, you sense her moving as well. Neither of you rushes, your paths gradually converging until you’re side by side, walking along the darkened shoreline. The soft crunch of sand beneath your shoes and the distant echo of the waves fill the silence between you. There’s no need for words right now, no pressure to break the stillness. You don’t know her, and she doesn’t know you, but that’s okay. 

You can feel the pull of something unspoken between you, a shared understanding that words might only complicate. You both seem to enjoy the quiet, the simple act of walking side by side as the noise of the bonfire and your friends fades into the background, leaving just the two of you, the sea, and the stars that have begun to peek through the clouds above.

The sand feels cold beneath you as you settle beside her, both of you sitting just close enough for the proximity to feel intimate, but not intrusive. You glance at her, feeling a strange, fluttering sensation in your stomach. She looks calm, her gaze fixed on the sea in front of her, and you feel a pull to say something, to break the silence that has settled so comfortably between you. 

“Why aren’t you enjoying yourself?” you ask, your voice soft, careful not to disturb the peacefulness of the moment.

She turns to you, a small, delicate smile spreading across her face, and it takes your breath away. It’s a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but it’s warm enough to make your heart stutter. “What makes you think I’m not?” she asks, her tone light, almost teasing.

“You were sitting alone,” you reply, your words tentative, not wanting to overstep. There’s a vulnerability in saying it, in admitting that you noticed her, that you’d been watching.

She raises an eyebrow, the teasing glint in her eyes now unmistakable. “You were too,” she points out, her voice lilting, playful in a way that makes your lips twitch in response.

You feel a warmth bloom in your chest, the kind that isn’t from the fire. You hesitate for a moment, then admit, “I’m enjoying myself now.”

Her smile softens further, the teasing edge disappearing, replaced by something gentler. “So am I,” she whispers, her voice almost lost in the sound of the waves. The simplicity of the exchange leaves you both with a feeling that lingers, a shared warmth that seeps into the space between you. 

For a few moments, neither of you speak. She turns her gaze back towards the sea, her expression serene, as if the sea holds answers she’s not ready to share. She’s beautiful, more than you had noticed from afar. Up close, the softness of her features, the way her lips curve just slightly, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathes – it all captivates you. 

But then, she lies back on the sand, her head tilting up to gaze at the stars. You realise, with a jolt of disappointment, that you can’t watch her without being obvious. So you follow her lead, lying back, the night sky stretching out above you, an endless canvas of stars. You can hear her breathing, soft and steady beside you, the rustle of her puffer jacket as she shifts. 

Your eyes dart toward her again, your head turning slightly to catch another glimpse. She’s focused on the sky, her eyebrows knit together just a little as if she’s studying the constellations. The moonlight casts a soft glow on her face, highlighting the delicate curve of her nose, the way her lips are still curved in that faint smile. Your gaze traces over every feature, as if trying to commit her to memory. There’s something peaceful about the way she looks up, absorbed in the beauty of the night. You can’t take your eyes off her.

And then, as if sensing your gaze, she glances towards you. She tries to be subtle, but you catch her. Her cheeks flush slightly, the blush barely visible in the dim light, and she offers you a bashful smile before turning her eyes back to the stars. 

The words tumble out of you before you can stop them, a whisper barely carried by the wind. “You’re very beautiful.”

Her head turns towards you again, this time more slowly, and you realise you’ve shifted closer to her without meaning to. Your shoulders are now touching, and the closeness feels intimate, like a secret shared between you. She seems surprised by your words, her eyes widening slightly as they search yours, but then her lips part in a soft, almost hesitant, “Gracias.”

Your hand moves on its own, a gentle, instinctual action. It rises to her face, your palm cupping her cheek with the lightest of touches. You search her expression for any sign of discomfort, any flicker of hesitation, but there’s none. She stays still, her eyes fluttering shut as your thumb brushes over her skin, tracing the gentle slope of her cheekbones, the bridge of her nose. Her breath hitches softly, the sensation clearly calming her, as though your touch is lulling her into a peaceful trance. 

You pull your hand back, afraid you might have crossed a line, but before you can fully retreat, she reaches up and gently catches your wrist, guiding your hand back to her cheek. “Don’t stop,” she whispers, her voice so soft it almost dissolves into the night air. “It’s nice.”

A smile tugs at your lips as you give in to her request. You roll onto your side, propping yourself up on one elbow to better face her, while she relaxes back into the sand, her eyes closing again. Your fingers trace her skin more confidently now, memorising every curve, every soft breath she takes. You run your thumb over her lips, a tender, barely-there caress, and her eyes flutter open, meeting yours. 

Your breath catches as you hover over her, your voice a mere whisper, “I could kiss you right now.”

She doesn’t answer immediately, taking a few shallow breaths, her chest rising and falling under your gaze. You wonder if you’ve pushed too far, but then she smiles – a bright, wide smile that makes your heart soar. “Please, kiss me,” she breathes.

You hesitate, giving her a moment to change her mind, but when she doesn’t, you lean down slowly, your lips finding hers in a soft, lingering kiss. She melts into it, her hand coming to rest on your hip, her thumb tracing gentle circles that send warmth coursing through you. It’s a delicate kiss, one that’s innocent.

When you pull away, your breath is heavier than before, and you look down at her. She’s still so close, her lips slightly parted, her eyes half-lidded. “Kiss me again,” she whispers, her voice so quiet, like it’s meant only for you.

This time, you don’t hesitate. You kiss her again, your lips pressing more firmly against hers, tilting your head to deepen it. There’s something meaningful in this kiss, though you can’t quite grasp what it is. It’s soft and sweet, but it feels like more than just a moment. It lingers, like something you know will stay with you long after it ends.

The kiss stretches on, and your breathing becomes more laboured, each breath shallow and quick. You lose yourself in the softness of her lips, the gentle way her hand moves on your hip, but eventually, you pull away, realising how long you’ve been lost in her.

Your eyes rake over her face, memorising every detail – the twinkle of her hazel eyes, the beauty spots dotting her skin, the way the moonlight makes her glow. She’s breathtaking.

“What’s your name?” she asks softly, breaking the quiet between you.

You shake your head, your voice low and hesitant. “No.”

A flicker of confusion crosses her face, but you lean down before she can ask why, pressing a delicate kiss to her lips, so soft it’s barely there. When you pull away, you stand, your heart heavy with the weight of what you’re about to do. Without another word, you turn and begin walking away, the sand shifting under your feet as you move in the opposite direction of the bonfire, of your friends.

She watches you go, sitting up slightly, but she doesn’t protest. She just watches, her heart heavy with a sadness she doesn’t fully understand. She doesn’t know your name, doesn’t know anything about you, but something in her feels like it’s walking away with you, leaving her behind. The kiss, the moment – it was perfect. She knows, somehow, that no kiss will ever feel the same again. Not with anyone else. Only you. 

And as you disappear into the night, without a glance back, she finally stands and returns to the group, a sense of quiet sadness settling over her as she looks out at the sea one last time.

[kurooh]

LIFE OF THE PARTY !

⊹₊˚. being invited to the largest party of the year is so exciting! for the spooky season, students from inarizaki college, UA, jujutsu tech, and teyvat university will come in their best costumes and party!

foreword ★ welcome to my very first kinktober! i’m very excited to participate and i hope you all enjoy reading! please be sure to leave a comment on the post or in tags — reblog if you liked it <3 as always, minors please do not interact with any of my content.

general warnings ★ 18+ content, fem! reader, all characters are 21+, alcohol, smoking, partying, etc. each piece will have individual warnings!!!

✶ ₊˚. 10 / 04 — PLAYING DANGEROUS, NANAMI KENTO

7 minutes in heaven doesn’t seem like all that until you end up in a tight closet with an officer who’s had his eyes on you all night.

BOO! hair pulling, face fucking, bondage, slight roleplay.

✶ ₊˚. 10 / 11 — BATHROOM, TAKAMI KEIGO

getting tipsy with a stranger you’ve just met and then going to throw up together isn’t the smartest thing to do at a party. neither is fucking said stranger in a bathroom with people all around, especially not with that stranger’s best friend listening in.

BOO! choking, praise kink, exhibitionism, voyeurism.

✶ ₊˚. 10 / 18 — GIMME MORE, MIYA ATSUMU

out on the dance floor, you find that you have some serious chemistry with a freaky vampire whose face you can’t quite see.

BOO! public sex, dry humping, thigh riding, edging.

✶ ₊˚. 10 / 25 — INTO YOU, WRIOTHESLEY

you’re an angel, and he’s a devil; despite it all, wriothesley shows you what heaven’s really like when you’re locked in a closet together.

BOO! size kink, corruption, slight virgin kink, spit, squirting.

✶ ₊˚. 10 / 31 — RIDE, KAMO CHOSO

all your friends are nowhere to be found and the party’s sucking ass, leaving you sulking outside and smoking a cigarette. after a talk with a not-so-bad-boy, you find yourself on the back of his motorcycle.

BOO! creampies, overstimulation, handjobs, biting.

kurooh 2024 © all rights reserved; do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing.

[lilgynt]

i love when internet advice genuinely doesn’t apply to me it makes me feel sooooooo good

[gayofthefae]

They've said they want their show rewatchable. As someone who wasn't like SUPER invested in the ships/show before, the most rewatchable thing they can do is Mike's queerness.

I would not have rewatched it until season 5 came out. Maybe once before then if I got bored, but definitely not as much as I have without it. And the plots for Will have been too supernatural focused (also a good rewatch point after season 5 comes out, I'm sure) to be worth rewatching for his queer personal plot for two seasons before we even really get to it too much.

But Mike? Everything Mike does is impacted by his queerness. Will? Obviously. El? Most DEFINITELY. The Supernatural? You mean the thing that only ever affects Will and El? Yup.

Do you know my first thought, as someone not yet obsessed, when it started to become more clear that Mike was queer? "Oh, that's more interesting"

The average person isn't gonna drop the show because their ship broke up amicably. But they are going to if they get bored.

Mike having been queer the entire time, who cares if planned, as long as it isn't contradicted by anything prior (which is not possible because queerness is not disprovable) just gives a whole new view to everything he's ever done, making it less straightforward than you thought it was, changing your original view of the events, making you want to rewatch just to see how each moment is impact.

Making it more INTERESTING.

It's simple, honestly. Speaking as someone who passively thought the couples were cute and generally wanted the characters to be happy but wasn't deeply attached or fixating on any part of the show, Mike being queer is just more interesting than him being straight. That's all the people really want.

They've already gotten lots more residuals from this. And I'm sure they know that at least half of it isn't just because of the vol 2 lore drop. And it isn't because of what we think is gonna happen for Will in season 5 either, why watch seasons where it also hasn't happened yet. It's because of something else, much like the lore, that affects every facet of an entire plotline from the first episode. Not even the lore actually does that, it's just interesting to know, but that one's easier to connect back in your memory, but isn't as deeply rooted that you need to think through every singular behavior of the mind flayer. But with Mike, we know it affects it, but we immediately had to know how.

I probably would have rewatched it once by now. Maybe one more time a year from now to prepare for the season 5 release, but maybe not. I didn't do my rewatch before season 4's release, so I might not have. But instead, because of Mike and Mike only, I'm currently on my third watch since 2022. Maybe fourth, I'm not sure. Not just because of a ship I wanna see again because they're cute. Because I'm LEARNING something new every time I see his face on my screen. Not because I ship it, not even because I personally want it to be true for any character's sake.

But because Mike being queer is just. more. interesting.

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[obsessivefangirl]

"Stan favors Mabel and Ford Dipper" WRONG!!!

[squeakadeeks]

if i had a dollar for every time a religious missionary knocked on my door to "spread the good news" while i was actively in an acute mental health crisis i'd have 2 dollars, which isnt a lot but also. how many times does this have to happen before they stop coming.

[shinesurge]

posting on the internet is so fun because you'll say something like "hey! when it rains the earth becomes damp and fragrant" and eventually a guy will materialize in your replies to say "if only....all those fuckign Women And DISGUSTING Communists i must endure would get damp am i right. am i right. why did you block me op."

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

TW sh implied

______

Mike's too scared to go swimming when the rest of the Party invites him. He's scared of the others seeing his scars. He's scared that they'll judge him. He doesn't want to deal with that. Instead, he just dips his feet in and watches his friends swim

[chirpsythismorning]

Rick Conroy's Recent Rentals:

Teen Wolf (1/2/3)

As a refresher, this is a shot from 4x02: Vecna's Curse. Robin, Max, Dustin and Steve are using the video store's database to look through the most recent rentals of all the Ricks in town as hints for which one Reefer Rick is, so that they can get his address and track down Eddie.

Unfortunately for them, this selection here from Rick Conroy didn't give off 'reefer' vibes and so they moved on to the next one.

However, luckily for us, this could very well have been hinting at events that are either already happening in s4, or are perhaps still yet to fully come to fruition in s5.

2. Teen Wolf (1985)

This is easy/hard because although it could be fairly simple, it could also be complex, to the point where it may very well go even further than this film. So I guess I'll just humor the implications, both simple and complex, because why not.

The entire plot of Teen Wolf revolves around a protagonist who is tired of being average, only to find out that he's actually the opposite of average: a frickin' werewolf.

There are a lot of possibilities for where elements of this film could align with certain concepts in the show. I even feel like it could be related to a specific arc on the most basic level (ie. Sixteen Candles = Birthdaygate).

Ironically, something I also noticed related to this, is that in the same episode we get the Rick selection with Teen Wolf, we also see the poster for it in the exact same spot as the Sixteen Candles poster was at the end of s3. We even see the letters ARC(ADE) in the right corner of the frame for both (probably just a coincidence, but a cool one at that).

Notice the pole going straight through the Teen Wolf poster here? More on that later...

Initially, I was going to just associate this film with the storyline related to the basketball team, because we do see a prominent arc related to basketball in s4, and so that felt like an easy way to pinpoint that reference?

However, I did feel sort of inclined to dig deeper, and this is because the other two films from this specific Rick selection connects to Will's character more than any of the other characters arguably.

Basically, after being stumped with the Teen Wolf mention, and intending to just stick with the simplicity of how the reference could apply to s4, I moved on to Romancing the Stone, only to find out it screamed Will, and so a part of me began wondering if it could be more complex than it seems when it comes to this reference.

And so, what exactly would Teen Wolf (1985) have to do with Will and his present/future arc, assuming that these three movies are indeed related to his character?...

Well, Twelvegate.

Just take a look at the film's slogan at the top of the movie poster:

He always wanted to be special. But he never expected this!

Upon rewatching this scene I also noticed there are twelve Ricks total...

As many of you probably know, there has been a decent amount of imagery with Will's blocking being obstructed by rods/poles/stakes, etc. (ie. Phineas Gage). So the fact that a pole interferes with the poster for TW could also be intentional in its attempt to give it some association to Will.

Here are the several other shots we get of the TW poster in this same episode:

I remember so much discourse about how this shot above was foreshadowing Max's confrontation with Vecna, which I do still fully believe to be the case. However, now I'm also rethinking about how that claw representing Venca looks just a little too aligned with the TW poster to not at least be a little bit intentional...

Look at Dustin and Max's bikes! They're blue/yellow directly in front of the poster!

And that's that on that!!

Though, if I’m being honest, this all still felt a little too simple to me.

The poster with Michael J. Fox opening up his shirt to reveal the title Teen Wolf also reminded me of the official reveal that Vecna was 001? Where the UD vines sort of scatter to reveal the number on his wrist...?

While it could be relevant as a potential hint for Will only now discovering as a teen that he has powers/is connected to the lab, similar to the protagonist of Teen Wolf only now discovering as a teen that he is a werewolf, I still want to try to take it another step further.

Now, going back to the basketball plot in s4, because I do think there still could be some connections between the show and the basketball theme in the film, is that there's actually a really layered connection to Teen Wolf going on here. And it has very me intrigued.

Although, this connection can be easily overlooked, as it's not related to the 1985 version, but actually the 2011 drama series, loosely based on the 1985 version, which goes by the same name...

As it turns out, Mason Dye’s most notable role before he was cast as Jason Carver in s4 of Stranger Things, was his role as Garrett in s4 of Teen Wolf.

So I guess the casting department decided to typecast tf out of Mason, by giving him the role of a character in a storyline potentially inspired by elements from the movie Teen Wolf? A role which also happens to be almost identical to his role in the series Teen Wolf?

Jason Carver character description in Stranger Things: popular basketball player ends up hunting down Hellfire Club (ALSO peep his #12 jersey... yep.)

Garrett character description in Teen Wolf: popular lacrosse player ends up hunting down Scott's pack

This also reminded me of the Duffer's talking about the casting of Amybeth McNulty. For those who don't know, Amybeth starred in Anne with an E (2017-2019), which is a drama series based on the book Anne of Green Gables (1908). There's also a well known TV mini-series based on said book which came out in 1985. After casting for Vickie was announced, the Duffers revealed that they were fans of the AOGG book and the mini series as kids (which is why the book was referenced in the show a few times), but also made a point to add that they were big fans of AWAE.

This is interesting to me because I feel like TW and AWAE are the kind of shows that have a bad rep (mostly deserved for TW atp), but specifically because of how they present themselves on the surface?

Werewolf teens and a talkative red-haired girl in braids don't exactly scream quality TV to most people? Which like, fair enough. Not to mention, both adaptations were based on stories that were very popular in the 80's, being modernized for future audiences. And so a lot of people hated them for that reason alone, without even giving them a second glance.

However, within the context of the Duffers, who are well known film nerds, who literally watch anything and everything under the sun, I think it's possible (and even likely) they watched Teen Wolf the series.

Arguably, TW's most impressive narrative moments come from season 3b. Which interestingly enough brings us back to the main focus I had for this post, which is how exactly this could all relate to Will.

Answer?

Will being possessed by the Mind Flayer is EXTREMELY void-Stiles coded:

Void-Stiles is easily recognized as one of the strongest arcs in the entire series, and for good reason. S3b season truly tested the limits of Dylan O'Brien's talent, along with a lot of other elements in the show just really hitting the mark that season. The story-building, the vibes, and the acting from the cast overall was pretty good, making it well regarded as a fan favorite (sound familiar?).

At first it starts with Stiles sacrificing himself, essentially dying for a short period of time, only to come back to life, but to have also left a door open in his mind. This door (ajar) makes Stiles vulnerable to the Nogitsune (an evil spirit that feeds off of chaos, strife and pain), who of course takes advantage and attaches to Stiles.

Slowly, Stiles starts experiencing an inability to focus, sleepwalking, vivid dreams during the day, while also not being able to tell the difference between dreams and reality. Eventually this leads to the Nogitsune gaining control, who then starts to have more influence on Stiles' behavior, leading him to trick his loved ones around him into believing that it's him by acting like Stiles at times, when really it's the Nogitsune. He uses Stiles' body as a vessel to wreak havoc on the town of Beacon Hills, but also specifically Stiles friends/family.

He even goes as far as to make Stiles do things like twist a sword into his best friends chest, then finally detaches himself from Stiles' body only to in that very same moment kidnap Lydia (his love interest), and ending in a battle with him orchestrating the attempted murder of an entire floor of a hospital, along with successfully killing a beloved main character.

While I do think it's possible we could see some similarities between these storylines here (we arguably already have), something I realized a while back when researching for birthdaygate, was that it did remind me a great deal of Stiles' arc in s6a of TW.

What makes this arc kind of ironic in the context of this post, is that there are some parallels to Back to the Future...

Basically everyone forgets Stiles existed, to the point where he's completely erased from reality, including photographs (Back to the Future reference). Other details about him, like his name and his connection to the people around him, is what plays a big part in his return (including radios being used between realms to communicate with him... yep).

As it's happening, Stiles starts going up to everyone he knows, first casual friends, and slowly down the line to people that mean the most to him. Suddenly his best friend doesn't know him, then his dad, finally the only person left who remembers him is Lydia, only for him to be taken and for everyone to forget (including Lydia). And this was basically the big cliffhanger that closed off the first episode of the season, with it being a guiding force to them getting Stiles back in the following episodes.

Now, I just want to make it clear that I do NOT think that this is how s5 is going to play out, like barely, if at all.

My main purpose for this post was to look at the simple and complex in relation to this reference and how it could relate to what is to come, in any shape/form.

Like, we know they draw a lot of inspiration from Star Wars and Lord of the Rings (along with 100+ films and more). And yet still, that doesn't mean we're expecting the show to play out exactly like it does in those stories.

What we're expecting is some inspiration & parallels.

S5 is said to be drawing a lot of inspiration from s1-2, which are two seasons most tied to Wills disappearance and possession.

Clearly in the case of this reference, there are A LOT of possibilities for what this could be hinting at related to Will's arc in particular.

I'm excited, but also terrified to find out what...!

[tasmanianstripes]

Sad to see how fast people turned away from "cringe culture is dead" and turned to "anything not canon compliant is bad and annoying"

Character regression

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me

[aahsoka]

At first i was doing this for funsies but then it became painful as i tried to judge who i should include vs who didnt get included

[inavagrant-a]

Remembering this whole blow up drama that happened in a discor d server I was in in my last fandom where the intention was to make the sense of "community" better and less clickey and the intention was good but boy oh man the fake bitches in that server was insan e awraxawraxa.

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[curlicuecal]

Hey, let's talk about anons like this, because I know some people haven't been in a position to see the patterns these play out in on broader scale and may indeed not spot the trap.

And it is a trap.

An ask like this has several purposes.

First, it uses social justice language in passive aggressive and manipulative ways to try to coerce a behavior. In this case, the desired behavior is usually for the recipent to participate in community shunning and/or harrassment. The language above is intended to put the recipient on the defensive where, in the haste to disassociate themself from the Bad Thing, they quickly disassociate themself from the bad person, often with no particular fact checking or evidence.

The message is also intended to create a sense of being surveilled and judged by an unknown amount of people with unknown amount of social power and an unknown amount of relevance to your life.

Notice that these asks are usually framed as if they are coming from a follower or potential follower, someone who is addressing you personally and who cares about your opinion and who your blog has an effect on. However this is usually.... very much not the case. If you've ever had the misfortune to watch a gossip campaign from like this from the outside, you will very quickly notice that messages like this get sent in mass batches to dozens and dozens of strangers. (You can often turn these up with a tumblr search, if you look.)

The sender does not know you and probably does not follow you. They have a person they don't like (possibly for their stated reason and possibly not), and they are going through the reblogs of a post from that blog and mass messaging *everyone* with a form letter. They will not see your response and they will probably never even see your blog again.

Which brings us to the second goal of whisper campaigns like this:

Notice that I blacked out the names above? That's because when the recipient answers anonymous asks like this, they provide a platform for the opinion on their blog. An anonymous message like this that gets posted doesn't just spread gossip and apply pressure to the recipient, it is spread to the recipient's entire community.

The *goal* is to get access to your community. The *goal* is to use you as a soapbox.

Is the information accurate? Did anyone check? Does the anon have an ulterior social motive? BIG SHRUG

If you go into the comments on one of these whisper campaigns you will see that *most people never bother to check.*

They assume good faith from a follower, they're off balance defending themselves, and they jump straight to conciliation.

It's a really, really effective form of social manipulation, and really really commonly misused.