#and tagging b/c mentions
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#ghost trying to be telepathic with eye contact... do you think it worked?#ooooo clifhanger so sorry#Going to be adding a cut after the cover pages from now on b/c there might be some... tw stuff#ghoap#ghost x soap#ghostsoap#dgtc tag#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#my art#soap x ghost#soapghost#cod modern warfare#cod fanfic#cod fanart#sui mention#sui ment tw
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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heard it's open season on yachts down here
#haven#taran#oc#dragon#painting#traditional media#underwater#idk im just throwing tags at the wall at this point#i love painting water#boats#sharks#haven acts like sharks are dogs. he feeds them his table scraps and finds it very annoying when they try to eat off his meals#but he finds it endearing#taran thinks it's annoying that sharks will hang around him. he prefers mammals#but he also swallows his food whole a good half the time so it's not really equivalent. haven tosses his bones aside#should i tag the species of snake taran is meant to look like... i think that would be a little crass but i see it a lot w people's fursona#b/c i subscribe to the black-backed jackal tag#ok fine why not#sunbeam snake#tiktok tts voice: surgically modifying my non-amphibious pet boyfriend so he can hang out underwater and kill boaters with me !#anyway this was another palette test bc i forgot to put any green on jazz the other day#EDIT. NO ONE MENTIONED THE TYPO 😭😭😭😭#favorite
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connected to this concept of birth giving and this comics ⚠️heavy topics below beware⚠️
so this idea sat in my head for a while what if sans not really a brother for papyrus..? well not biologically(or magically…) at least so i thought how could he get in this position and came up with some ideas for starters all this 'low fertility and forced injections of lust' reminds me so much of The Handmaid's Tale(i've watched only like 10 episodes but i got the main idea of reproductive abuse it portrays) so this and the concept of Gaster experementing on his children(on "child" in this case) just fused into this concept -> what if gaster tested his lust injections on sans 'cause em.. no body's gonna know?like maybe he didn't gave birth to him, he just found sans below some magic object and raised him in his closed laboratory to get more knowledge about fertility and lifegiving topic. gaster might forced this soulling artificially and that's how sans got paps and may be gaster tried to End this Experiment 'cause sans's little soul was at risk but sans rebelled and ran away or something idk all these things are very ethemeral in my head
or it was just another monster, some stranger or someone close and "trustworthy". may be sans wanted it. may be not. every option has it's own interesting themes to exlore really.
one thing i'm sure about is that paps doesn't know and after gaster dissolved in the Core sans might not know neither.. they're happy to be brothers and that's all they need actually
#undertale#underlust#underlust sans#lust sans#underlust papyrus#mentioned underlust gaster#comics#tw reproductive abuse#idk how to tag sorry#sans was like 'this poor little thing doesn't deserve to know the truth#truth of(a) sans being forced to have him (b)being abandonded by his(papy's) other parent (c) being a child of another child#free to interpretation which one(s) is(are) true
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CW: BLOOD, THERE'S A FETUS/TUBE BABY LITERALLY IN THE FIRST SHOT
I know I don't post my ocs here like. Ever but I worked really hard on this shit and you WILL fuckin watch it
#scrolls art#small artist#artists on tumblr#digital artist#oc artist#artist#animatic#animation#C-86 my beloved scape goat for angst#the centaur cat woman is Katherine / B-13!!#their test subjects and c-86's body started rejecting his mutations causing his body to attack itself. slowly killing him basically#here's angst about that!#scrolls oc tag#digital art#my art#oc art#first time animating lip syncing hell yeahjh#c-86#atlas labs#Katherine#on technicality of being mentioned#pc.v3
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socializing w/ppl when you have bucket loads of trauma from past abuse is so hard b/c has this person accidentally triggered me unknowingly and now I feel like I'm being backed into a corner or are they actually trying ta hurt me. they both feel the same and finding the rationality ta be like, "they misspoke or used language that they didn't know would hurt me" is extremely difficult!
#spacie spoinks#most of the time it's just them accidentally triggering me#I don't tell people when they do b/c I don't know what ta do abt it myself#and also I don't want ppl ta coddle me b/c they think I'm fragile or something#but. I think I'm in a place now where I'm surrounded by ppl who truly don't want ta hurt me so#maybe if I tell them when they do it on accident it will be okay#maybe#it's especially hard when I don't know something is gonna trigger me like fuck#every thing could be chill and then the next moment I'm having a panic attack it's full on not fun#vent#I usually don't tag my vent post but thisigbt be triggering ta ppl so#mention of abuse
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I have the urge to write a seven-season-long medical drama, so here is a concept for Top Gun Hospital AU with ER hate-to-love hangster AU that no one asked for.
as a warning: this is a bit incohesive and silly
All the aviators are doctors and all the WSOs are nurses. With the exception of Bradley (but there’s an explanation for it).
Mav — cardiothoracic surgeon; Ice — former neurosurgeon and Chief of Surgery, current Head of Patient and Medical Services (so, entirely admin). I imagine they have the same kind of relationship as House and Cuddy in this, including Ice keeping an entire legal team for Mav’s unconventional practice methods. They've met during med school and had been rivals up until they both finished general surgery residency. Slider is an OR nurse turned anesthesia nurse. Goose was an ER nurse and met Mav during his rotation as a med student and died after an incident in the ER during Mav’s residency (that was the moment he switched from emergency medicine to surgery).
Phoenix — emergency, but she managed the impossible (like Mav) and switched from obgyn residency after the first year (only chose obgyn in the first place because of her mom, a renowned obgyn in Oregon), she's still really passionate about the obgyn field but didn't enjoy the work enough to do it for the rest of her life; Javy — general surgery; Payback — emergency with sub-spec in pediatrics; Friz — respiratory medicine; Omaha — oncology; Yale — ortho surgery.
Bob — a former OBGYN nurse, left because of a toxic work environment, working in the ER six months now, Phoenix's favorite nurse now, duh; Fanboy — started in peds oncology, had to switch because it was too hard on him mentally and is now peds emergency; Halo — started as a palliative care nurse, switched to oncology after a few years; Harvard — OR nurse, switched from general team to ortho
Hangman is the new trauma surgeon starting in their ER. Born and raised on a ranch, was expected to take over the ranch but never wanted to. Thankfully, he had too perfect grades to not send him to college — his parents wanted him to be a vet, which obviously didn’t happen, so he could stay close to the family business. He moved to California for his MD. He has terrible bedside manners with patients and patients’ family, but is surprisingly decent with kids, has lost respect for nurses sometime during his first residency year, and had a terrible case of Ego hit him during his trauma surg fellowship.
Now, about Rooster:
Bradley got into a pre-med program, Mav (who had set up Bradley’s college fund) said he’s not going to pay for it since he doesn’t want Bradley to be a doctor (long hours, lack of work-life balance, burnout, high stress, etc. It was more complicated because Mav still has the Goose trauma). So they had the fallout, Bradley moved out and deferred college to find a way to pay for it and, wanting to gather hospital experience, started working as a CNA in Peds ICU at a children’s hospital which accidentally was having a new CNA intake at the time. He liked it, actually loved it, and started hesitating whether he should continue with pre-med and be like Mav or go for nursing, like his dad. Year after, he got an offer from the hospital that said hey, we’ll fund some of your BSN as long as you work for us while you study and then work for us for another four years after getting your license. So he became a nurse, got certified as peds nurse after working two years in PICU and after another three, switched to the Pediatric Rapid Response Team, where he stayed for another two years before getting a spot as a senior nurse in adult/peds ER in a different hospital.
His relation to Mav and Ice only came to light a few months after the hiring process, as Bradley didn’t even know they worked there when he applied and it’s still a hash-hash topic in the ER. He’s been in the ER for almost three years now and has become an unofficial second-in-command as one of the few with substantial experience.
I imagine he’s definitely one the best nurses you could have as a patient — he’s honest but in an empathetic way, he’s worked in the most demanding environments with the most complex patients (ICU and RRT), he’s skilled and experienced in most procedures. Because he is one of the few male nurses, he’s the one dealing with inappropriate patients, aggressive patients, patients that need restraint, frequent flyers, etc. and he genuinely doesn’t mind — he is the perfect mix of calm and firm that makes him very reliable in most difficult situations. He is absolutely most reassuring and guiding with new stuff, be it new nurses or med students that don’t know what’s happening, and he doesn’t judge. It does help, too, that he was partially raised by two very cocksure surgeons and therefore knows how to deal with doctors that turned a bit too arrogant.
Before I go to the hangster part of this shit, I want y’all to know it all started because I found this Rooster-coded scrubs:
I imagine that he buys most of his scrubs since the work-issued scrubs don’t fit well on men (most unisex ones are very much just female fit stamped with unisex label) and peds nurses can have lots of cute ones so the kids feel less nervous around them
Also, this is a warning that yes, Bradley is trans in this scenario, too, because I said so. It's relevant to a few scenes, I think?? and there's tw for transphobic OC
Now, a bunch of scenarios I can see for this AU:
On the first day at his new workplace, Jake makes a reputation for himself. He confuses Nat, in her hospital-issued scrubs and with her doctor tag clearly on display, for a nurse and literally talks over her in front of a patient. Same thing happens with Billy because he’s Filipino and there is a large number of Filipino nurses everywhere and he’s stereotyping. Then he makes another patient’s parents agitated. This is when he meets Bradley — he takes over to talk to the parents and calm them down before it can escalate, basically shushing Jake out of the room. Jake doesn’t clock he’s a nurse at first — he’s a big, very fit, very well-built, very handsome dude with a questionable mustache who looks comical in a pastel pink scrub top with a teddy bear pattern and a matching headband on his forehead, but also the sheer shock of how different to all the nurses he looks gives Jake a pause — so he doesn’t say anything even if it pisses him off a nurse just forced him out of the room.
*
It starts innocently with Bradley though — Bradley comes up and asks, “Jake, can you put the narcotics order into the system for Lily?” and Jake scoffs and corrects, “Doctor,” tapping his full tag with Dr. Jacob Seresin.
Bradley, as the nurse’s tag says, raises an eyebrow and says, “Doctor Jake, can you put the narcotics order for Lily?” Natasha, standing behind him, snorts. Jake doesn’t even have the time to tell him off because he’s already gone when his brain processes.
*
Natasha drops off a patient on him — a taxi driver who had a stroke while driving and had been in a car accident, that had been thrombolysed but might need emergency surgery because of a suspected GI bleed. He’s stable, so they're going to check if he can be admitted to neurosurg and wait for his turn there or if Jake will need to take over before that.
Bradley hands him a tablet the minute he walks into the room.
“What’s that?”
“Results,” he supplies before going back to setting up an oxygen cylinder at the bottom of the bed.
“I didn’t order that,” he notes. The blood and urine panels are what he would order with suspected operable GI bleed but he’s barely looked at the patient’s case before he walked in there.
“I did,” Bradley tells him as he switches the oxygen from the wall socket to the tank supply. “Faster this way.”
“No,” Jake says, blood boiling. “You do exactly what I tell you to do and only that.”
Natasha raises her eyebrows, high on her forehead. Bradley doesn’t hesitate — waves on Bob from behind the glass wall and they both grab each side of the bed.
“I supposed you want to put the CT order yourself then,” Bradley says as Bob takes the small back monitor and attaches it to the frame. He steps on the bed brake and rolls out the bed, straight into Jake and Nat, fast enough that he moves out of the way on instinct. “Better do it fast because it’s free now and I’m going.” *
“Did you see that? Who the heck does he think he is?” Jake asks Nat.
“Better put that CT scan order,” is all Natasha replies as she walks away.
*
It’s Reuben’s patient, an eleven years old boy with blunt trauma, and Jake makes a verbal order to Bradshaw, who is the boy’s nurse. “I understand but I think that—” and Jake goes, “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.”
The whole room gets quiet and everyone looks to him — Reuben, Mickey, and the technician are wide-eyed.
Bradley just says, “Alright,” in a perfectly leveled voice and leaves the room.
Mickey is not making eye contact as he quips under his nose, on his way out of the room, “You do realize he basically runs this ER, right? You’re making your life a lot harder.”
*
Jake orders IV fluids for one of his patients which is also in Rooster’s section that day and he bleeps the order info to Rooster. Fifteen minutes later he sees that it hasn’t been filled and is like, hah, I knew there is a reason I hate that guy. Finds him when he passes Jake in the corridor and is like, “I want you to start the IV for room 7. Now,” and Rooster just tells him, “No, do it yourself or find someone else.”
They have a little back and forth as Jake follows him down the corridor which ends with another, “No.”
There’s still no charge nurse in the ER (she’s on medical leave that will most likely end with her leaving employment, from what Jake gathers) so he makes a datix and the ER nurse manager (Warlock) following up is apprehensive because obviously, he knows Bradley, and hears about what actually happened — Bradley was getting an igel for a toddler from the peds side and deemed it more important than starting a bag of saline to bust someone's blood pressure.
Jake feels like an idiot.
*
Jake and Reuben are charting next to each other and Reuben gets bleeped his patient’s lab results. Jake, who is also waiting for lab results, complains about how he sent a pod to the lab before Reuben. Reuben just gives him a look and says, “Yeah, that’s because I asked Bradley to put my request in.”
And Jake is like, “What does he have to do with anything?”
Reuben looks at him like he’s dumb and says, “He has more sway with the lab,” and walks away with his tablet.
*
Javy is doing a consult for Nat and stops to chat to Jake (they know each other from residency days) and Bradley comes by and says, “Maggie’s becoming hypotensive again,” and Javy observes as Jake looks at the nurse that came, gives him a very long, very detailed look and licks his lips.
He manages to think Oh before Jake asks, “Maggie?”
The nurse looks seconds from rolling his eyes. “Mrs. Lawrence? Room 5?”
“That's Margaret.”
“She prefers Maggie.”
And it goes on, with Jake standing there rigid, puffing up his chest and cocking his hip out. “Did you start the fluids?”
“Finshed already.”
“Start another bag.”
The nurse looks unimpressed and instead of confirming says, slowly, like he’s talking to a child, “Her fluid balance is positive. She’s usually on pressors.” Jake’s face gets red and he goes, “Then put an order for her.”
It’s kind of funny to observe and to be fair, the nurse does give Jake a minute to go over what he said, leaning his elbow on the counter, eyebrows raised, before he points out, in that damn slow, unimpressed tone, “I can't put orders for things like pressors."
He hands Jake the closest tablet and starts walking away.
Jake calls after him. "What, you're not even going to draft it for me?"
He doesn't even turn around and Javy is silently shaking from the laughter he's holding in, "I thought I wasn't allowed to do that, doctor."
*
Mav comes down to the ER to talk to Rooster on a slower day — about how they’re about to sponsor a new CRNA for the cardiothoracic surg unit and maybe he could put a good word for their development team for Bradley and yada yada.
It happens like that: Mav comes down, Bradley is charting next to the monitors station, Jake is going over a scan on the opposite side when The Dr. Mitchell himself comes down and stops next to Bradley. He gives Bradley and his pink Paw Patrol scrubs a look and clears his throat a couple of times before Bradley raises his gaze toward him, turning away a second later and ignoring him again.
Jake is freaking out — this is The Dr. Mitchell and one of the reasons Jake wanted to work in this exact hospital, along with the rumored to-be-announced cardiothoracic surg fellowship under Dr. Mitchell he had his eyes on. He’s been thinking about how to make contact with Dr. Mitchell since he started in the ER and here he is, telling unresponsive Bradshaw, “I heard you’re looking to go back for your Master’s in the near future.” Bradshaw doesn’t say anything and Dr. Mitchell adds, “We have a CRNA development spot for—” and Bradley tells him, not turning away from the screen, “I’m not an OR nurse,” and then taps his card on the computer’s reader to log out and walks away.
Dr. Mitchell is a fucking legend, a VIP of this hospital, so Jake just stands there, contemplating how the heck Bradshaw could do that and hears him mumbling under his breath, “Really slick, Mav,” and jumps on the opportunity to say, “I’ll be talking to his supervisor about this, his attitude is unacceptable, Dr. Mitchell.”
And Dr. Mitchell turns to him, raises an eyebrow and asks, “Excuse me?”
“The nurse you were talking to. He might be senior in here but his attitude’s been horrible and I’ll personally step in. This won’t happen again.”
Dr. Mitchell gives him a look before slowly saying, “I suggest you mind your own business, Dr. Seresin,” and walks away.
Nat is silently laughing a few feet away and Jake asks her what’s so funny. His heart dead-ass stops when she says, “You do know Dr. Mitchell is Bradley’s dad, right? They might not be on the best of terms but that’s still his son.” And Jake has the urge to bang his head on the keyboard in front of him.
*
TW for transphobia.
There’s a new nurse practitioner to be (graduated, about to get her cert) that's rumored to be a candidate for the charge nurse position. Izzy. She’s quite young for that, younger than Bradley for sure, must have barely worked in the clinical area before going for her Master’s. Jake doesn’t know if it’s on purpose but the nurse manager and Bradley keep on putting her in his section.
She’s—well, she’s a bit too in his face. She agrees with everything Jake says and doesn’t roll his eyes at him, which is boring, and she’s, for an NP, not that knowledgeable. She doesn’t argue with him, which is a change, and Jake starts to hate it after about five hours. Her voice is saccharine sweet, she keeps on standing a bit too close to him at all times, and she’s decent with patients, but she keeps on asking him about the smallest of things.
Jake’s section is less busy, usually, since he deals primarily with trauma in the ER, but she never bounces off to help others when she is free, like Bradley did. She’s clinging to his section, a little bit, and he doesn’t get why. It’s not like he is any nicer to her than to Bradley or any other nurse.
She is busy taking bloods and Bradley finds him when he has a second alone, finally, and enlightens him about why.
“If you don’t believe me, you can just ask any other nurse. Everyone noticed.”
“If you really think that then why do you keep putting her in my sections?”
“I don’t. She’s senior as an NP, she’s taken over allocation from me now.”
Jake’s mind only focuses on one detail. “You were allocating yourself to my sections?”
“Only because no one wants to work with you and because I’m actually certified in trauma.” That makes sense. It’s not like Bradley would work with him voluntarily. “Look, all I’m saying, you watch out — you fool around with her and then reject her and she’s going to HR. I know the type.”
“The type?”
“You know, the girl that thought she’ll become a nurse, snag a rich doctor and never work again? Well, it’s not always women, there are guys who do that too, but in this case, she’s very much the type.”
“And you think she’s trying to—snag me?”
“She’s certainly not going after the residents that are getting paid twelve bucks an hour or Reuben who is married,” he points out. Which, again, fair, even if he didn’t know Reuben is married prior to this strange conversation.
Jake stares at him, processing, until he blurts out, “I’m gay.”
“Then you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Bradley says after a second, eyes barely noticeably a bit wider, before he walks away.
“Was he bothering you, doctor?”
She calls him doctor, always, and it honestly makes him grit his teeth. Now even more. He’s got a bad feeling about it.
It gets confirmed later when Jake is taking care of a six-year-old girl who had fallen down the stairs. She’s dehydrated and Izzy’s just tried to put a cannula on her three times before Jake told her to grab the bedside ultrasound and not make the girl cry even more.
Bradley passes by the room and Jake’s learned that he can’t leave a distressed child alone, so he comes in and gets the parents and the girl relaxed. He’s about to go in and tell him to leave it alone until Izzy brings the ultrasound when Nat grabs him by the arm and tells him, “He was in a Rapid Response Team, I’m pretty sure he can put a cannula in blind. Just let him do it.”
And he does let him. Watches, expecting the girl to burst into tears at any moment but she never does. Bradley’s literally been in the room for less than ten minutes and it’s all back to calmness.
Izzy comes back with the ultrasound. It should not have taken her so long to grab it. “What is he doing there? That's my patient.”
"He said he can put the IV line without the ultrasound.” Well, Nat said so. Jake can’t believe he’s saying but, “He’s a peds nurse, he’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure the girl's parents wouldn’t want him anywhere near her.”
This sets alarm bells in Jake’s head. “What do you mean?”
"People like him shouldn't be around kids," she says, to his horror. She leans in, way closer than needed, and conspiringly whispers, "Dr. Seresin, haven't you known that he is, you know, a she in disguise?"
He’s dumbstruck. "I'm sorry?"
"He's actually a woman, just pretending to be a man because he's mentally—You're the doctor, I'm sure you know better than I how the brains of people like them work. He shouldn't be around that girl, is what I'm saying. I certainly wouldn't like him around my child, if I had one."
Jake didn’t know this about Bradley but he understands what she means, even with how awful she is about it. This, however, should not be a piece of information thrown around in public if Bradley didn't wish to disclose it, and certainly not in such a manner. "And how do you know that, exactly?"
"Nurses share a locker room, it's not hard to notice how she, you know, mutilated herself."
Jake doesn’t say anything out loud but mentally he is preparing datix report in his head. He catches the ER’s nurse manager before he goes home, too, because that’s some shit he doesn’t stand for. He might be an asshole but he’s not a bigot.
Next time he comes to work, Bradley is back in his section and Izzy is no longer employed.
“Thanks,” Bradley says, when they’re at the station, next to each other, in a relatively slow moment. “If I went on my own, we’d have a weeks-long investigation that would probably end with her or me moving to a different unit.”
“She said this shit to your face?”
“Kept calling me she in front of patients,” Bradley admits after a moment. “I think most of them thought they misheard but—I knew.”
“Well, good riddance then.”
Bradley snorts, but he’s looking down at the tablet in his hands, smiling, and wow, the apples of his cheeks are so round and his eyes so bright and Jake can't breathe for a second.
---
(there might be a second part coming because I meant seven-season-long medical drama literally-- including Jake realizing he's an idiot, Mavdad drama, Jake having his hands inside Bradley (in the literal, surgical sense) and jealousy that could rival the McDreamy/Dr. Grey drama)
#this is unrealistic b/c its a med soap drama-like#not the actual chaos of er-like#as in med nonsense to be precise#also I don't know how american ers work#ive talked to a trauma surgeon twice in my life so sorry#i’ve mostly written it while trying to stay awake in the break room at 2am or to not fall asleep on the bus home#still having cluster headaches btw we're just too short-staffed to not go to work even if I have to sit out for an hour in the break room#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman seresin#hangster#icemav mention#tgm#tgm au#trans bradley rooster bradshaw#<< im going to fill that tag even if it takes me years#op#charlie writes#hangster hospital au
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Brno 2003: Sete Gibernau sprays champagne at race winner Valentino Rossi, who is holding up his ball and chain that symbolises how he is 'condemned to win'.
From Rossi's autobiography:
In the summer of 2003, HRC sent over new exhaust pipes. I chose not to use it, precisely because I was sick and tired of hearing that I had an edge over everybody else. But, partly because of the stress, partly because I was also in negotiations with Yamaha, Honda and Ducati, I was in far from perfect form. Sometimes I would lose concentration and make mistakes. When I famously missed that turn in Barcelona and ended up in the run-off area, it was a result of the fact that I was napping behind Capirossi. This incident, and others, caused people to say that my bike was so much better that I could afford the luxury of sitting back and simply turning on the juice late in the race, beating everyone in the final lap. Obviously this was not the case. If I have the chance to pull away, I pull away. Always. Because if you hold out for the last lap you're taking a huge risk: you might finish second! Whereas if you can pull away at an earlier point in the race, you can avoid trouble later on. I only ever sit and wait when there is no alternative. That's when, for me, lying in wait is a good tactic and the best way to win. In Germany, for example, I made a mistake on the last lap and Gibernau made me pay for it. But it's not as if I was planning to wait for the end, as a way of humiliating my opponents. I simply made the mistake of not passing him earlier, so that I could then build a gap. It was a tactical error. After losing that race in that way, because of a distraction, I got so angry that on my way home I told myself, "Enough! From now on, I'm taking no prisoners!" So from that moment on I raced with the aim of dominating every lap and I won five of the last six races of the season. The only one where I finished second was the Grand Prix of the Pacific, in Motegi. But as you know, that day I raced after getting virtually no sleep the night before, because that was the night I had decided to leave Honda. As you can imagine, I wasn't totally focused, to say the least.
The race at the Sachsenring in 2003 was a particularly painful loss. Rossi had overtaken Gibernau on the penultimate corner, but had made a mistake into the final corner that let Gibernau get a better run to the line and beat him by a mere 0.06 seconds. He was criticised by the Italian press in the aftermath, as had become increasingly common that year. Despite leading the championship by a healthy margin, this was widely perceived to be a weaker season than his overwhelmingly dominant 2002, not least because he had achieved only three race victories to Gibernau's four. He had already felt disillusioned with Honda from the start of the year, sick of a culture of winning he found as oppressive as it was relentless. Sachsenring was the last race before the summer break, and he went off to Ibiza to clear his head and get a new haircut.
^The new haircut in question.
Excerpt from the Brno race commentary:
Rossi hasn’t won for four races*. He is desperate to win here this weekend. He turned up at the circuit this Thursday with a bright red haircut that he got on the beach at Ibiza - he was feeling very jovial, very relaxed, and… Well, it’s been suggested in some quarters that it’s a psychological thing he’s trying to pull on the other riders, because he’s coming under mounting pressure from the press and the fans - and Rossi just wanting to show he’s still the party animal he always was and he’s having fun out there on the bike.
*His results during that time were P2 P3 P3 P2.
Fresh from his time off, Rossi got involved in a tight five-way battle with Bayliss, Gibernau, Biaggi (in the first half of the race), and Capirossi. His victory was far from inevitable, and when Rossi managed to get in front for the first time he was unable to make a break for it. After the group of riders fought it out for most of the race, the contest for the win eventually came down to a direct duel between Rossi and Gibernau. With one and a half laps to go, Rossi ran it wide and let Gibernau get back in front once again - and made another mistake that seemed to give Gibernau the decisive advantage. Rossi made the overtake for the win with only a few corners to go.
^Gibernau congratulating Rossi, at a time when the two were still good friends. According to the commentary, the two of them had partied together over the summer break on Ibiza.
^From Rossi's autobiography: "This gag was supposed to be ironic, underscoring my situation with Honda. Everybody expected victory from me. So I was a condemned man, condemned to win..." (See here for gifs of the celebration.)
Rossi finished 0.042s ahead of Gibernau, with another close run to the line... so the elaborate celebrations could very easily have not come to pass. He ended up breaking the circuit record on the last lap - and went on to win all but one of the remaining races that season.
From Mat Oxley's Valentino Rossi: All His Races:
And then his first post-race theatrics in a while: he wore a prison inmate's hat and ball and chain to poke fun at the Italian media. "They said I was in crisis because I'd been beaten at the last four races. Leading the championship and finishing on the podium obviously isn't enough for them, so now I must work on the chain gang!" And beneath the striped cap was a new red hairdo, which restarted the Ducati rumours. In fact, nothing could have been further from the truth. During a secret midnight meeting in the paddock, Vale told Yamaha that he would ride for them in 2004.
An excerpt from the commentary at the next race in Estoril:
Well Valentino Rossi arrived in Brno three weeks ago with a bright red hairstyle and a lot of criticism from the Italian press saying he wasn't as focused as he had been last year; he'd just lost that race at the Sachsenring in Germany. He's fought back in the best possible way.
^Rossi's fans at Sepang 2003.
When he sealed the title in Sepang that year, he brought back the convict celebrations, this time equipped with a big novelty lock and key - so that he could free himself of his shackles at last. He left Honda at the end of the year to embark on a new adventure with Yamaha.
#race rec tag#brr brr#//#sg15#i love this race soooooo much it's so good and it's also so narratively rich and it's narratively rich b/c vale is WRITING the narrative#the autobiography excerpt is quite funny to me because it's like. buddy it sounds like you COULD choose to overtake earlier no??#nice of him to keep it simple with the symbolism though I did have to go quite a roundabout way to find actual photos of the sepang thing#which is a bit of a shame... he did a thematic callback during his title celebrations and it doesn't really get mentioned!! come on#anyway i do like how the commentators see him show up with red hair and go. mind games question mark#curse tag#clown tag
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SECONDARY REMINDER FOR PEOPLE IN DTEAMBLR: IF MAKING JOKES ABOUT "KILLING MYSELF/OURSELF" FUCKING TAG IT. PARTICULARLY IF POSTING IMAGES WITHOUT TEXT THAT CANNOT BE FILTERED OR IF YOU'RE MISSPELLING THINGS.
I understand we're all hyped about Dream's music but also please remember there are members of our community that have struggled with suicide/depression that would really really like to be able to enjoy the hype, but there is a massive issue with people in dteamblr making these jokes untagged in ways that are really hard to filter (spelling things incorrectly, using images with no image description, using variations, etc). I'm not shaming anyone who wants to use these sorts of jokes, literally just tag "suicide mention" or "suicide joke" so people who are effected can safely filter their dashes. That's all you gotta do.
#sif speaks#dteamblr#dreamwastaken#suicide mention#dream team#dreamblr#hi this is going in all the tags b/c it's been an issue#also even if you aren't maintagging#you can and do still show up in the search#please just tag this stuff I have friends I'm worried about#like some people are literally making it impossible for people to filter this stuff#and I know it's not on purpose but guys please
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what if it was a real onion growing out of her head 🤔
bonus: an iku based off red onions b/c those are the only ones i personally eat lmfao
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid#utau fanart#utauloid fanart#maidloid#acme iku#iku acme#akume iku#green#pink#purple#man what do i tag this w/. i was about to put 'onion' as a tag but like... idk lmfao#i don't show it a lot b/c i dont draw her very often but i LOVEE iku she is a longtime fave. i will NOT tolerate iku slander iku haters dni#i was so fckgin excited when her vcv came out LIKE FINALLY AFTER A MILLION YEARS!! i legit like. screamed and dl'ed instantly#still a tragedy we lost the onion </3 but her utau look/design is still really cute love the poofier(?) skirt#her whole story as a synth is fascinating to me but im not gonna get into it rn; midnight onionposting#also LMAOO the doodle w/ oliver is based off a tweet he had where he mentioned he liked eating onions lmfaooo rip#and im gonna be real i have no idea what i really did for that first piece i kinda... bullshitted it to have a nice pretty thing but sh#quick edit: i fucked up but shhhh
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james lance has officially joined the ranks of straight men i trust to portray queer characters
#for anyone curious the others are:#david tennant#michael sheen#taika waititi#rhys darby#and ethan hawke#honorable mentions to#robert sean leonard#ncuti gatwa#billy harris#robert sheehan#and pedro pascal#they’re only in ‘honorable mention’ because i either a) haven’t seen a lot of their stuff#b) havent heard them talk about lgbtq+ related things in interviews#or c) they haven’t explicitly said they’re straight (good for them they dont owe anyone shit)#but yeah this post is specifically about one of the newer james lance interviews where he talked about the research he did to play trent#also i know the ‘should straight actors play queer characters’ thing is a hot topic#imo it’s better if queer actors get queer roles but as long as the actor is knowledgeable i think its fine#i think it matters much more for trans characters tho#jesus these tags are longer than the post#ted lasso#trent crimm#james lance
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I think it is pretty cool that the GriffGuts community(?) has some super awesome meta analysts like you and @/alovelyburn. You guys, artists like @/Sabigawa and @/Senkoku281 and @/Gyodragon (who is unfortunately not active but I still see their work reblogged everywhere, & the person that holds the GriffithGuts weekend event really keep it going. You would think that a shipping fandom for a three decade's old series would wither over the years, but it's the exact opposite. I am but a simple lurker, but lurking has never been more fun <333
tysm 💖 I agree, it's a really awesome, talented community considering how relatively small it is. Lots of great art, fic, meta, vids and edits, people asking interesting questions and sparking and contributing to discussion, memes, etc. And ia, organizing things like the griffguts weekends is an awesome and important contribution as well! I'm grateful for everyone who's part of the griffguts fandom, from regular creators to lurkers and everyone in between!
And I'm glad you're having a good time lurking! Even that's a contribution imo, it's good to have an audience, even a quiet one <3
@alovelyburn @sabigawa @senkoku821 @griffgutsweekend/@ofdemonsandangels
#ask#anonymous#b#c#ty for this dose of positivity!#i hope it's cool to tag everyone mentioned (except gyodragon who i can't tag. are they fully deactivated now?) so they see this too
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Hi gonna poll the room on something
A couple months back I saw a post saying that polycule writers on ao3 should only tag the polycule and not the composite ships (so like, if I were writing A/B/C, I should tag A/B/C but NOT A/B, B/C, or A/C). Normally I kind of stick to this anyway, but I’m working on something that focuses a lot on interactions between individual duos in a polycule (it’s a “how they all got together” kinda deal) and it feels almost weird NOT to tag them all because of that, so I got curious:
Pass this along if you’d like but it’s more a curiosity than anything else!
#i know ao3 tagging etiquette is at least partially a suggestion but like#i don’t want to be Annoying On Ao3#i also contemplated adding an option for like#‘this fic is about A/B but they also happen to be dating C’#but I feel like in most cases that would be tagged A/B with like a ‘mentioned A/B/C’ or ‘minor A/B/C’#and also I could NOT fit that option well in the character limit
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No wonder I got DID I got 10/10 Aces
#cluster b#bpd life#did system#system#borderline things#bpd tag#bpd vent#bpd mood#i hate bpd#c did#did question#did awareness#did art#did osdd#did memes#did alter#did stuff#actually did#did#did community#traumagenic did#narcissistic personality disorder#aces quiz#traumagenic#tw trauma mention#complex dissociative identity disorder#polyfrag did
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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Dude. DUDE
#ahsoka spoilers#>>#ANAKIN LOOKS SO GOOD FIRST OF ALL#ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS RUFFLE HIS HAIR#‘you look old’ SHUT UP LMAO#anyway onto my incoherent thoughts#CLONE WAS FLASHBACK#to say I cried would be an understatement I gasped so LOUD when I realised it was baby ahsoka#WE GOT LIVE ACTION SIEGE OF MANDALORE JESUS C H R I S T#AND REX!!! R E X!!!#yeah I can’t be normal about this I CAN’T#then they mention Kanan by name BRO. B R O I CANNOT#also my god the shots of Anakin/Vader I thought I was going to ascend#AHSOKA’S SITH EYES FLASHING FOR A MOMENT#AND THAT DUEL OH MY FUCKING GOD#okay yeah I CAN’T be normal about this I really can’t#I’m just going to scream incoherently in all my tags
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